#well. not now it’s been like 2 months
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regretting getting festival ticket. but i know i would also regret not getting it
#for different reasons#ig this is how i feel about every decision i’ve made recently#thinking about it makes me sick i’m so stressed out why did i agree to go#i need to kill myself but i can’t do that without a trigger and my dad hasn’t been shitty for a week or two#i’m just. the most unhappy i’ve been in months and there is nothing waiting for me that will make it better#i should’ve started taking meds again but i didn’t and now the prescription has expired#well. not now it’s been like 2 months#idk why maybe bc i don’t think they’d change anything maybe bc my family was weird about them#but the last time i brought this up with my mom she got angry at me for trying to blame her#like yeah shit sorry hearing you complain abt me taking medication affected the way i look at it#bc now she’s all for it but i don’t think i believe her#it’s always 'what do they even do they won’t fix you' bc i guess it never crossed her mind they aren’t meant to cure anything#but rather help manage everyday life#whatever i’ve been having trouble with sleep again too#i’m just so so fucking tired all the time and when i get home all i can do is lay down#and i fall asleep but it’s shallow and i’m just stuck barely conscious having dreams which i hate#i need to look if i can return the ticket
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I can't keep being fundamentally changed as a person by animated movies, it's just not sustainable.
#animation#animated film#animated movies#across the spiderverse#across the spider-verse#spiderverse#puss in boots#puss in boots the last wish#puss in boots 2#nimona#nimona film#yes i'm posting this specifically because i just watched nimona and am feeling all kinds of things but really these are all PEAK TIER#the fact they have ALL been released within 7 months of each other...like...woah we are thriving right now#stylised animation with its own unique style reflecting the movie i love you forever kissing you on the mouth#films that make me ferally rip up any and all art blocks to shreds#and that's just the animation side of things#i won't get started on the plots. they also make me want to bounce off of walls#hugging all these close to my chest#as well as all the other great animated movies that exist because animation wins all catergories for me always#(let's not forget anime movies either; y'all are beautiful too! keeping 2d animation alive and i'm so here for it)
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omg I finally finished it. I was torn in wondering if this was out of character for Lizzy but my final concusion is that she's a kid and your parents being romantic is gross no matter what you like. lil headcanon ♡
#not that it took so long it's just been hard to work on stuff#i still got like 2 more midford thoughts but i took the slightest detour to think about the kids a bit more and I'm happy#every monthly post to me is a success. i hope its not been more than a month#but speaking of that i really should right now thank everyone who still like remembers me and offers me such a warm welcome whenever i pop#up#it means a lot and i sure hope i can go back to actually interacting with y'all again cause y'all are suuuppper cool#so thanks for all the greetings and HELLOOOO to you too✌️ things are going very well in total#kuroshitsuji#black butler#kuroshitsuji fanart#fanart#elizabeth midford#lizzy midford#ciel phantomhive#soma asman kadar#soma black butler#ociel#sieglinde sullivan#sieglinde black butler#sebastian michaelis#agni black butler#wolfram black butler#francis midford#alexis midford
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Huzzah! It's birthday time! I'm slowly accumulating more and more things I like (latest additions this vest I made and a travel typewriter! Still need to fix the latter one though)
Sure has been a year.
#terri#niart#got my wisdom toofies out#well 2 out of 4#still got stitches#idk if this removal lowkey fixed my fear of the dentist?#it was so easy and painless#also finally i'm on anxiety meds jkahsdjash#i also got depression meds but i haven't tested them yet#I'm going to see the love of my life soon again!!!#only 2 more months to go....#i've also finally found awesome friends who don't make me feel like i'm insane for wanting to be cared for#the difference is like night and day#old friends saying hey let's surprise another friend of ours oh also i think it's your birthday on that day#new friends reminding me to pick a brunch place for us to go on my special day#i am sobbing#the right people are out there#don't lose hope#i've never felt this platonically loved honestly#also yes i'm working on the next dragon's lair aksjdhasjkd#just#a lot of things happening and i'm sooo burnt out#this piece was such a strain and i just#don't have patience for art rn#this is photobashed btw there's an actual photo of my typewriter under all those layers#i'm not about to spend 300 hours just to draw a typewriter from this angle kajshdjkasdh#ALSO ONE MORE THING CAN I JUST GUSH ABOUT THE ANASTASIA BROADWAY OKAY?!?!?!#I didn't realise until now that they made it way more historically inspired and i mean bruh BRUH#i have been having a recording of it playing on the background nonstop for like 3 days now#Vladimir Popov I want to inject you straight into my veins holy shit he is a perfect man
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Does anyone want to shoot me some outfits to put him in?
#putting him in the uggliest outfits known to MANNNN#poisous animal signalling to evvveryyyyone that he tastes like shit. like what good tasting meal looks like that. fresh voice.#fresh#fresh sans#fresh!sans#puppydraws#eyestrain#cw eyestrain#I've been thinking about ahh. going back and numbering my old posts. cus I want to .. kinda want ot make this into a Daily Fresh account#cus I think I have kept it daily for about 2 months now#so its like. well it would help with the motivation. and my doctor did say anything htat keeps me motivated I should pursue. so like. maybe
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My comic is so pretty...
The hiatus is letting me take a little extra time on these episodes, and I'm definitely putting it to good use!!!
#almost done with my 8th episode... which will give me. two weeks. of buffer...#id really like at LEAST a month... but to be more comfortable id like two#which means 2-6 more episodes before I come back!#I've got about 7 weeks so its possible. but i do still have to finish book 4#so much to do ..........#I decided for my next comic im doing 3 updates a month.#having 10 days instead of 7 to make an episode is such a huge huge huge difference...#difference in quality and in my health!#anyways the comic is really pretty im really happy with the work im doing rn#the environments especially. im getting to spend a nice amount of time on them and theyre turning out so nicely#its nice to be able to write with a lot of different environments and not have to redo panels when I get to them cause of time#cause every time theres a wild angle? you need a new background...#so sometimes. often actually. there just isnt the time to make the backgrounds for those and i have to make them more flat...#which is fine. it doesnt really affect anything narratively. but. idk. it's kinda sad right?#anyways yeah! 10 days will be much better.#36 episodes a year is about what ive been uploading with my hiatuses on the weekly schedule anyways!#so might as well cut out that super stressful middleman and just commit to that#52 a year is just such a huge difference and i have to accept its not possible to me#i will hurt myself trying to do that. and i want to make comics my whole life!#so i cant push myself that hard now and sacrifice my future. we're gonna go slower after this...#anyways yeah cant wait to come back but also time. if I could get an extra week like a secret one just for me#where theres no chores no nothin just me and my work#thatd be great! so go ahead and do what you gotta do to give me a little pocket dimension#me: ugh i want to return right now...#the more logical me: NO we need the time to finish everything!!!!!! NOT right now!!!!#time and time again#ttawebcomic#comic panels#hiatus stuff#adam and steve
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I haven't really seen anyobody talk about this here-
Caracalla lost everybody close to him (father figure and twin brother) on the same day, both technically by his own doing, but doesn't even remember half of that anyway, and is now desperate to keep at least one person around, still. he might not even remember his own screaming voice demanding her crucifixion due to her betrayal. and if he does, he clearly wants to take it back and keep her alive and around him. in terms of human companions, she's all he has left. except for Macrinus, of course, but he's still new and another father figure, unable to fill that gaping hole Caracalla's real mother has presumably left and Lucilla is going to leave if she dies. but since Macrinus has the emperor wrapped around his little finger already, just a few words from him convinced Caracalla that this was, in fact, necessary and the only way; thus, sealing Lucilla's fate.
it's devastating to me...
#ofc this has even more impact with the deleted scenes (and generally when you've read the script too) like ouchie#image description in alt#emperor caracalla#fred hechinger#macrinus#denzel washington#idk i was taking some screenshots and this suddenly struck me because i genuinely didn't realise this until now#(like... generally. i didn't even realise he ever asked this like??? huh??? i watched this scene at least 5 times already wdym)#listen y'all... i have sooo many thoughts about the twins but for the past two months i've been unable to put them into coherent sentences#all that gets out is constant screaming or my half-baked analytical takes like that i---#i hate it ngl and my o*c*d got a lot fucking worse in these past two months as well which makes posting my own stuff incredibly difficult#but alas here i am trying anyway#also i check the caracalla tag (among others) multiple times a day since December 3rd and i did go through the entiiire thing then#so if somebody has mentioned this before i must have forgotten or overlooked it OR i blocked that person and thus never saw it#(went on a whole blocking spree in the first couple of weeks lmfao)#gladiator ii#gladiator 2
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Yeah a teaser dropping on ST day would be cool. But can we agree that a DNA board reveal would be infinitely better?
#byler#stranger things#st5 predictions#st5 dna board#yes I know a dna board reveal doesn’t qualify as like major promo since most fans want something visual and real#and so it’s likely we’ll get a teaser regardless#which is great#but I’m just imagining the rest of the day being subpar in terms of stuff for us to actually analyze outside of the teaser#they released the s4 dna board during lockdown and a couple months before they even finished writing it#so s5’s board is definitely finalized by now#and it would cost them nothing…#well i mean technically it could cost them everything 😭#it’s just a matter of how on the nose they were about some of the titles it features#and if they’re willing to risk sharing that at this time when there’s still a year until release#i could see a decent amount of films on it being incriminating on so many different fronts#but I could also see some super random stuff in the mix that would distract people from reading into the incriminating stuff#it’s just something that could actually keep us busy analyzing for a while#a teaser would be everything we need rn#but the dna list is what I actually want 😭#i’ve been working on my own st5 dna board wishlist bc I’m so impatient for this#i’m gonna post it tomorrow#it’s time#and in the case they do reveal the dna board next week I want to have mine ready to see if there are any matches#i’ve also been working on my st5vision playlist for nearly 2 years now (jesus) and it’s time to share that too#soon!!
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viktor prev 🤖
#i forgot 2 flip the canvas back but his mole is on the correct side i prommy .. first time ive ever kept it accurate lol#im chipping away at ths sooo slowly …#unimaginable number of drafts and im just opting 4 the most simplistic one instead#umm fav viktor moments . his im from the undercity remark & slapping jayces hand away. lets gooooooooo#or that scene of him mel and jayce at the table where hes fiddling w jinxs bomb i like tht whole exchange#when he transforms into the machine herald#when he transforms in2 the machine herald (2)#ans when he transforms into the machine herald😁 THE FACE SPLIT IS JUST SOOO FRWAKING COOL#wht else . guys can i be honest can i be brave and honest w u all. hated the sky plot . hated#the scene of him crying over her i was like scratching my neck n pulling at my collar like u guys seein this … 🧍#the story never developed sky enough to make her death impactful#she only exists in the context of viktor and how she can further his story or personify his emotions ykwim . boringg#i think the timeline is such a big issue 4 arcane writing in general bc#they try to pass off their quasifriendship as something genuine bc theyre partners or have known each other for years#supposedly but they dont show it let alone say it . like i cant tell u the amt of times i saw something after watching that was like#oh this timeskip was a year or seven years or idk and aside from the obvious timeskip we see w charas aging up in s1#or the montage once cait takes power its just not . discussed . rmbr after the arcane anomaly ambessa was like theyve been missing for 6#months or something and if you didnt hear that one throwaway comment u would just be like wht is going on#all that to say they want you to believe they have a strong foundation 2 make her death and later reunion meaningful but they dont give you#anything to actually Feel it#so . MY TWO CENTS !!!!!!!!!!!ok#sorry im blowing up the tags in ths random post that never asked for this 💔#lg doodles#arcane#viktor#well ok bc im going on and on i will say . i thought singed was pretty interesting in the show but never rly cared for him#until i played him in aram n im like oh so ths guy is awesome actually#HAHHAAH#dude and b4 they got rid of the hectech chests i pulled his arcane skin . bsooo much fun#i also played jinx for the first time and now i understand why ppl like her gameplay so much . soo smooth w it like she feels soo polished
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moon n ballora
#my art#daycare attendant#dca fandom#moondrop#ballora#sorry to all the sl fans who r sick of hearing about the daycare attendant HFJSJGKDJG#anyway its real funny how i can draw the dca at a side view fairly well but ballora? fucking impossible#i wanted to keep it more in line w/ her canon design bc then otherwise moon would look weird but UGHHH i did NOT draw her well#this drawing is like. roughly a month old by now? but i wanted to post something#i havent been drawing as much bc of art block hell!!!!!! so if posts r slower thats why#i did go through my hundreds of drafts to put some posts in the queue though so those will be going for roughly 2 months at the current rat#theres still... a lot of posts in my drafts though... oops#also. did you guys hear that theyre making a whole ass dca pin set#the dca is like the perfect cash cow of merch now. pisses me off a little ngl HFJZJFKSJG#gonna be fun to see them release product after product as the masses go crazy over it again and again#im being kind of negative i know but. god#im honestly just posting this as an excuse to rant about it without making a whole post for it HFKZJFKD#i fucking knew this was gonna happen but man! it still sucks#anyway uhh if youre gonna buy merch buy fanmade stuff and bootlegs instead!#be aware of where your money is going!#... that's all i'll say about it
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since ive started my most recent playthrough of the series im just. constantly reminded of how shitty of a hand the bandits got dealt. starting with dahl dumping thousands of convicts into pandoras penal colonies, as well as establishing civilian settlements like fyrestone. this went on for generations, maybe. long enough for zed to be born and go grey. atlas shows up, chases off dahl and the planet is put under new, neglectful management. this opens the prisons, and the "unworthy" convicts clash with the "worthy" dahl settlers for resources. violence breaking out is inevitable because violence is the only thing the bandits have. BL1 VHs come in, killing their way through every camp and mine and settlement they can get into, for no other reason than Bandit Bad and theyre in the way of our money. lets go into their homes and kill them because they would have probably tried to kill us if we hadnt. the first people they meet are settlers, of course theyre going to feel this way. the only pushback they get is atlas trying to "protect" barons territory because they want the vault key from his men. and it doesn't stop them from throwing him to the wolves once his value as bait outweighed his value as an asset. atlas sends them after flynt with the false promise of a key fragment, something the VHs have killed for before, so why would this be any different? the vault key is reformed. destroyer pops out of the vault, cracks open the planet, and then hyperion hits pandora. i dont need to explain hyperion. everyone, if nothing else, has played BL2. more prisons, more exploitation, this time on a scale several times that of dahl or atlas. but the bandits still dont get the benefit of a doubt, even though they are facing the same dangers that sanctuary does. and worse, seeing as how they dont have a flying city with a bubble around it. once the BL2 VHs touch down, theyre mincemeat. all of a sudden, theyre fighting a war on all fronts. so they lose their leadership. captain, flanksteak, mortar, nisha in 2. nine-toes, sledge, krom, baron in 1. and they also lose a good half of of their population to boot. so...what can they do that wont get them steamrolled by pandoras benevolent saviors? they unite. BL3 rolls around and every bandit clan on pandora has been assimilated into the COV because that is the only level of security they have left. except it still isnt safe because now theyre quite literally being eaten and mutated by the ones who are supposed to be protecting them. and then theyre still being mowed down regardless, because the calypsos dont provide any real kind of safety, they just have a veil of community. which is then lost when the twins die and the world almost gets destroyed by the great vault. and now the crimson raiders are...leaving, maybe? which might be for the best. maybe what this planet needs it just to be left the hell alone.
#borderlands#this isnt worded very gracefully. alas. also part 1 of 2 bc i wanted to talk specifically abt the crimson raiders as well.#this thing has been in my drafts for. like two months.#anyways if youve made it to the end. ty for reading my rant im sure this has all been said before.#anyways its bandit apologism now and forever. those are just people!! theyre just people!
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no literally this is how its been the last couple weeks
#leaving the call center to start a job that'll give me a 'maybe rent an apartment' level pay increase and a 4 day weekend#antidepressants may or may not be working but I've been able to engage with my biggest hobby in a way that's been difficult for months#got a guitar so now i have ANOTHER hobby I'm having fun getting started in and not being discouraged when I'm not good at it right away#yknow for once. unlike i usually am with everything i try to do#and using a lot more of my second language and realizing that im actually pretty decent at it so i have a new motivation for practice again#also i was just luxuriating yesterday in the fact that i went a whole couple of weeks without any Fucking Things happening#you know how adulthood is just one Fucking Thing after another and every time you finally put out one fire theres like 3 more#well for the first time i went like 2 full weeks without any Fucking Things happening i got to just live my damn life.#so yeah things in late January were actually going really good for me as long as i don't remember every few minutes that#i and my community are at the center of the culture war and being directly targeted by several evil regimes around the world.#avpost
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Carry On - Bricks
These are Kuuga songs produced by Bricks (Katsurayama Shingo and Itakura Masakazu)
youtube
You can find the full EP here on youtube (uploaded by my lovely partner on his channel!)
The songs uploaded separated can also be found in this playlist
01 - CARRY ON
02 - 勇気をくれた人へ
03 - CARRY ON (ORIGINAL KARAOKE)
I've got quite a few kuuga related things to share (as well as more of Katsurayama's music!)
I keep an unrebloggable masterlist of posts here at this link, that I'll always update anytime I add something new 😊👍
Scans of the album, including lyric booklet included below the cut:
these scans are also mirrored here on imgur for safekeeping
unsurprisingly, I've ran these through machine translation out of curiosity multiple times, and you may do the same, but if you can accurately translate entire songs, let me know! I'd be happy to add it here (with credit, ofc) 😊👍
#kamen rider kuuga#kr kuuga#kamen rider#shingo katsurayama#katsurayama shingo#finally posting largely cus i saw ppl seeking stuff and i have like. more complete versions since i own these thigns physically#so i feel i have a responsibility to share ^^#and i wasn't like... trying to hide this and keep it to myself. i just have a life outside of sharing my niche things i collect#and due to my partner and i having a quite wobbly living situation for the past year and a bit it's been tricky#he had the ep uploaded like 2 months ago as a whole and weve had it for almost a year now#just. agh. time#also planning to post some other goods tomorrow if all goes well. it'll be a slow dripfeed happy 2025 :)#this is more archival than anything. it's of niche interest but it will always be here now#and my masterlist post can always be an anchor as i add stuff!
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it’s all chaos for the birds (april 2023)
#anthro art#furry art#anthro#bird anthro#artists on tumblr#i put up my art vs artist post on ig this year#idk if i’m gonna upload it here tho. go check it out if u want#this is one of the pieces that made it into the grid#bc it’s my favourite piece i’ve drawn all year#& sure it’s p old now#i’ve improved a lot since then#but i absolutely love it anyway#i remember how i felt when i finished it & i haven’t had that much pride in my work since then#still have been proud of lots of pieces ofc#but this one was like….woah dude#esp as 2 months earlier i was still drawing simplistic bgs#& i drew the inside of a car & a gun etc like woah#(it didn’t do as well as the pieces before & after it on ig hahah but still)#cw guns#cw smoking#cw alcohol#i’ll have some new art soon. been working on a commission & had wrist pain so yaknow
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so this is a pc drawing I started making for @darkbird-aus a LOONG time ago my pc was moved to my sisters room and she doesnt exactly use my graphics tablet so i havent really... drawn on this thing for a while?? and because i know im too lazy to go to my room take it out and plug it all in and everything im just gonna post it like this simply because, well.... im not exactly gonna shade splits hands and bottom half anytime soon so uh
#myeba art#art#undertale au#myeba shenanigans#myeba fucking procrastinates for hours at a time#splitswap au#splitswap janus#splitswap split#sans au#i sratred making this when icarus LITERALLY first shared this idea with me and i made janus in like 2 hours#and then i started split#and never finished#haha#i would finish it with my mouse but the pen i use on pc requires pressure sensitivity that i simply cant get with a mouse lol#its been a few months now and i am not really proud of this anymore because i got more sans practice in that time that im gonna have to#give to the other undertale characters as well if i want to make the acceletale designs lmfao
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awawawawawawa
#bunny rambles#i was “cleared” to go back to work yesterday but she told me i could use the rest of the time also if i wanted/needed#and im using it. but the little corporateanxietybot who lives in my head and tries to make me be a Good Worker[tm] is SCREAMING HER HEAD OFF#cause she thinks my boss/Dad is gonna scream at and hit her for being Lazy#this is a trauma post also um. didnt expect to name her rn but she's screaming and i cant scream back cause she sounds like alarms and those#scare crustywhitedog so i have to calm that one so i don't meltdown#my wife submitted the RTW date for me so like. its okay im actually taking the time and ik this is necessary also bc. it is clearly unwell#that its freaking out because it's gotten a more than a 2 day break for the first time in a year#ik corporateanxietybot has protected me in some ways but. i gotta kill her so bad. maybe H can help me reformat her somehow .....#i also hate her is the thing. she cant hear me rn bc she's just looping in circles alarming but anyway. i hate her. like Me. she's so#capitalismcorebootlicker and i hate that about her and i hate that she exists and i hate that she exists bc my dad raised me to be an#Employee instead of a person 🙃🙃🙃🙃#im not elaborating or explaining any of this. this is a diary entry now#i wish i could click her to kill her like the drones in hardcoded lmao it'd be so much easier. ik she like. lives in the work mode mask as#well which is also HARD bc if im not actively thinking Of work or At work she's nonexistent#but shes so LOUD 🙃🙃 like shut up. we're not gonna explode n die from taking an extra week off you're being dramatic our boss isnt Dad#like he LITERALLY isn't Dad. not even close. he's like the most docile man in the world come on ik they're around the same age and both hve#held authority over u but boss checking in wasnt a trap ur not ab to get caught doing wrong ur fiiiiIIIIIIINE#(also corporateanxietybot is not an adult. she's 15 and terrified but she integrated to my work mask which is the problem cause she makes me#a “phenomenal employee” and also makes me work myself sick when she is given the reigns. little devil on my shoulder except the capitalist#system we live under treats her as a positive thing so she gets positive reinforcement at work which only makes her more anxious 😭 i gotta#talk to H about this next Friday huh. also wow. parts work has made it a lot easier for me to acknowledge these behaviors so i can confront#them easier. weird. strange even. so many parts have gotten names this past month n im realizing also why its been so hard to process stuff#but it also has made me kinder to myself. anyway she turned off (her batteries are low since she's been home for a month too) so im gonna#clean myself up and get some food in me and then get some cleaning done
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