#well. before all that traumatic shit happened yeah

[lenodrysalad]

"Eddie said he's straight! Buck said Eddie was straight! Buck said he's not in love with his best friend! They shut down Buddie in the show it isn't happening ya'll are delusional! Queerbait! Queerbait! Blah blah blah"

I feel like I'm going insane. I'm sure we're all tired of people shouting "media literacy" every five seconds, but like... Yeah, develop some media literacy, please.

I'm saying this as someone who doesn't usually like romance, despite being subjected to it in basically every piece of media. As someone who doesn't generally look for love stories. As someone who loved Buddie but didn't consider any serious possibility of it becoming canon before season 7/8, who refused to believe Buddie was truly happening until I couldn't deny it anymore: this episode is loud.

Please understand how narrative arcs work. How character arcs work. How character development works. How serial broadcast television works. Understand how writing works. Consider context; take the whole episode, the whole season, and the whole series into account instead of treating things like they exist in isolation.

I'm too tired to go through the step-by-step details of the episode to prove why these, "they said it on screen, therefore..." takes are shortsighted and ignorant; plenty of people have done that already.

But that episode, even if we do take it in isolation, is textbook. Do people really take everything characters say at face value? Do people not watch other character's reactions? Listen to what else is being said? Watch what is being shown? Consider the implications? Themes? Narrative devices?

Consider that maybe, just maybe, characters can be unreliable narrators, or believe something to be true only for that belief to change later. These things don't happen in one episode. There's such a thing as set-up, foreshadowing, the starting point of a plot. 911 is a serial drama, therefore it is going to have A) long-form story and character arcs, and B) drama.

Characters are not going to move in straight lines, or talk in therapy speak, or solve every problem in an hour. They are not always going to be right, or self-aware, or truthful, or rational. Direct dialogue does not equate to honest dialogue.

Also, saying, "well in real life, people do this, I do that, their feelings would be this, yadda yadda yadda" means nothing. Your experiences are not universal, and more importantly, this is a work of fiction. Realism is whatever the story says it is; it's going to do whatever creates the most dramatic, interesting, developmentally beneficial, or emotionally satisfying story. Whether you like that story or not is irrelevant to the fact that stories are not going to cater to all your expectations or real-world experiences.

To people pointing to Tim or the actor's interviews as "proof" they're shutting down Buddie: again, please understand how broadcast television works. They are not going to tell us everything that's going to happen before it happens. They are going to play the neutral zone, the "wait and see," the "will they/won't they." They are going to lie. That is television production 101. You can compare what they've said in the past with canon and list all the contradictions, misdirection, and twists you didn't see coming because they didn't spoil it for you. Watch the show. That is the canon.

They're also not catering to fandom--people they already know are devoted to the show, familiar with Buddie, and consistently tuning in. They're introducing the idea of Buddie to the general audience, people who likely haven't considered the possibility before. The GA has to see that Buddie is an option, so the show needs to manifest it as if it's a brand new concept. This episode pulled the pin on that grenade in a very obvious way; the idea that Buck could be in love with Eddie and that Eddie could not be straight has been planted. The next seed will be Eddie's feelings. Now the show needs to water it and let it grow.

One last thing. Been seeing a fair amount of hand-wringing and condescension over people interpreting this episode differently. As if this is some sort of "gotcha" for bad writing, baiting, or people being stupid. Listen, genuine complaints about this show's writing aside, different interpretations or inferences are completely normal. This isn't unique. That is how people interact with stories, through personal biases, experiences, emotions, and expectations. That isn't inherently a bad thing. It's totally fine to have your own views; media is all about interpretation.

However, it is also true that just because you have an interpretation, that doesn't make it true. Not all interpretations are equal in their validity, evidence, or warrants. The show has an intention, it has a story in mind. If you don't see it, sure, that could be a failure of the writing, but it could also very well be a failure of your analysis, especially when the show hasn't finished telling the story. Looking at one thing in isolation and forming your whole conclusion based around that makes for poor critique.

I guess we'll just have to wait and see who's right.

[captainsamuelmorrigan]

It's driving Eddie insane.

There's no fucking way the 2 things can be true. Either Steve stole Eddie's porn, his prized magazines full of hot boys covered in piercings, tattoos, and mouthwatering amounts of leather. Or... OR! Steve happens to own the same magazine. Eddie can't believe either thing is true. Maybe it was a prank? Some sick homo-mag that his basketball buddies slipped him some time... that he kept for over a year at least? Yeah. Sure, Munson.

"Soo... Beefcake?" Eddie leans over the counter at Family Video, making sure his tatted tits are on full view in front of Steve.

Steve lowers the paper he's reading. "Am I supposed to be Beefcake?"

Eddie plasters his world-famous shit-eating grin across his face, scooting slightly left so he chest is firmly in front of Steve's pretty eyes. "Only Beefcake I see regularly without some serious payment on my end."

Steve coughs in surprise. "Not taking the bait, Munson. What brings you in, anyway? Are you trying to get Rocky Horror again? I think someone besides you actually rented it this week."

"Really?" Eddie sighs, then perks up, remembering the real reason he was here. "No, uh, I wanted to ask..." His courage runs out halfway through his sentence.

Steve smiled softly at him, his cow eyes framed by those perfect eyelashes and... FOCUS MUNSON.

"I wanted to ask if you had read anything good recently? Maybe any good magazines?"

Steve raises an eyebrow. "Did Robin put you up to this? She said you freaked out after I left my porn out on my nightstand on accident when you slept over. Are you homophobic or something?"

Eddie practically loses his balance. "Steve- we- you- I'm-" He stumbles through forty different responses. "I'm not homophobic."

Steve shrugs. "Are you mad it had guys and girls in it? It's not the 70s anymore, Munson-"

"We own the same BDSM Leather Daddy magazine."

They stare at each other for a second.

Steve clears his throat. "Well, I was kind of hoping you'd have jock porn or something, but your type is your business."

"Why would you hope I had jock porn?"

There's a loud throat-clearing noise from the break room, Robin peaking her head out. "Can you two take your horrible flirting somewhere else? I'm getting traumatized over here."

"Sorry, Rob." They mumble in unison.

"Thank you." She says, before spinning away in her chair.

Steve leans in and whispers. "I was hoping you had jock porn because then all the times you bent over the counter and shoved your tits in my face would make sense."

[materia-girl88]

Third Date Shenanigans

18+, minors dni

you're on your third date with bucky and a little mishap and shared clothing leads to some good times

warnings: smut smut smut, oral (f and m receiving), fingering

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Bucky Barnes didn't have many weaknesses. Having a past as traumatic as his and pushing through to become a better person tended to strengthen someone.

However, you may just be his undoing.

Your third date was a more relaxed affair, the two of you enjoying some dinner you made together and watching a movie at Bucky's apartment.

You were both sat on the soft cushions of his couch with crossed legs, facing each other with bowls of spaghetti balanced on your laps as you talked and laughed.

It was nice.

However, things took a turn when you were both laughing over a story you were telling from your days in college, and as you were lifting a forkful of your pasta to your mouth the noodles slipped and slid down your shirt.

The surprise of it caused you to jump, and in turn your bowl tumbled and your jeans were ruined too.

"Shit, I'm so sorry, Bucky." you huffed, using your napkins to clean the mess on your lap. Thankfully none had gotten on the couch. "I swear I'm so clumsy sometimes. I knew we should've ate at the table."

Bucky let out a laugh as he set his own meal aside on the coffee table and helped you, "It's okay, doll. It happens."

Once the mess was cleaned, you both take in the damage done to your clothing.

While the noodles were cleaned up, there wasn't much saving the saucy mess left on the fabric of your shirt and jeans.

"Well this sucks. I guess I'm gonna have to go early so I can clean up. I really am sorry," you sighed, aggravated with yourself.

Bucky looked over you contemplatively for a silent moment before speaking.

"I could let you borrow some clothes if you want? We're just staying in to watch a movie. It's no big deal," he shrugged.

You bit your lip at him before a small smile spread across your face.

You really hadn't wanted to leave him this early anyways.

"If you really don't mind?" you said, and the way you peered at him through your eyelashes made his chest flutter.

"Not at all, one sec," he stood, heading to his bedroom and grabbing a black t-shirt and some sweats, taking his time to change into his own comfy clothes so you didn't feel alone, then leaving a quick scratch to his cat Alpine's head where she was snoozing on his bed before heading back you.

You smiled at his change of clothes and stood as he came back before you took the ones handed to you. As you passed him you raised on your toes to press a quick kiss to his cheek and give him a soft "Thank you" before you head to the bathroom.

He took the time that you were in the bathroom to clean up your dinner and head back into the living room to set up his newly acquired Netflix account.

He was settled back on the couch by the time you came out and all he could think as it was probably a good thing as he may have fallen over otherwise.

"The sweats were too big even when I tied them," you said, flushing as you fiddled with the soft fabric of the shirt that fell to just above your knees, you bare legs poking out underneath, "Is this okay?"

He couldn't help but have to swallow down the lump in his throat before nodding, "Yeah, it's uh. It's no problem at all."

You smiled shyly as you made your way to him, curling back up on the couch with your knees tucked under you.

The dark metal of his vibranium arm moved to grab the blanket he had on the back of the couch, bringing it to you.

"Don't want your legs to get cold, doll" he said and watched as you gratefully took the blanket and spread it over your lap.

You both bickered playfully on what movie you would watch before settling on an old horror movie that you loved and Bucky hadn't seen before.

You weren't long into the beginning of the film before you had scooted into his space, his flesh arm winding around you.

"I love this movie but I always forget how much it freaks me out," you said, looking up at him and a grin.

"It's a good thing I'm here, then," he said, leaning down to press a soft peck to your lips.

Your first kiss had been after your second date, chaste and with a taste of wine that you both had enjoyed at the restaurant you had gone to and since then you had been nearly craving the next one.

"My hero," you said softly, leaving one more kiss to his plush mouth before leaning on his shoulder.

Everything was going great.

Until, that is, you had shifted to get into a more comfortable position and stretched your legs out over Bucky's, letting the blanket rest on both of your laps.

It was meant to be an innocent cuddle, but the feeling on your warm smooth legs against him as you were now practically propped up on his lap was slowly becoming a distraction, his thoughts becoming clouded as the scent of your perfume overtook him, and he couldn't help the tightening he felt in his sweatpants.

Especially when he had risked a glance at you and saw a flash of dark blue lace where you hadn't realized that your shirt had ridden up some.

You could feel his eyes on you and you turned to look at him, wanting to make sure he was still enjoying the movie.

You couldn't help the way you froze when you saw the look in his eyes, hungry yet apprehensive.

"Bucky?" you asked softly, but you let out a surprised gasp as he leaned in and kissed you again, his lips harsh this time.

You couldn't help but let your eyes slip closed as you responded, shifting to wrap your arms around his neck.

Even if you were shocked at the slam of his lips, you weren't upset by it in the least.

You couldn't help but press your thighs together when you felt the slick heat of his tongue against your lips and you were quick to open up to him, letting it brush against yours.

"God, angel. You don't even know what seeing you in my shirt and feeling you against me is doing to me, do you?" he growled as he pulled back just enough to speak.

Your pupils were blown and your lips were red, a bit of stubble burn on your chin, but you loved it.

"I think I have a notion of it now," you said with a breathless laugh.

You made the move this time, leaning back in to kiss him again.

Before you even realized what was happening you were laid back on the couch, head resting on a throw pillow as he positioned himself between your thighs.

His shirt had fully ridden up to your hips now and he couldn't help the groan he let out at the sight of the dark blue panties you wore, a patch of fabric in the middle nearly black with arousal.

"Is this okay?" he asked, his vibranium hand on your right thigh. He wanted nothing more than to trail his fingers upwards and feel the warmth of your skin and the wetness of your need. He was grateful that having full sensation to match his flesh arm was one of the touches added in when he got this arm in Wakanda.

You smiled at him, a bit nervous, and nodded.

"I don't want to...do everything. Not tonight. But you can touch me, Bucky. I want to touch you. I trust you," you told him.

He grinned down at you before he kissed you once more with more heat and need than any of your previous ones.

A soft moan left you as his hips shifted and pressed against you and you reached down, your hand grabbing the metal of his on your thigh, and began to slowly push it towards your panty covered mound.

Your lips broke from his as he cupped you, a gasp leaving you at the sensation.

It didn't deter him as he began to trail his lips to your jaw and then your neck, soft sucks and kisses left to the smooth skin there, leaving marks that you would admire later on.

"Bucky, please," you whimpered, hips moving as he began to rub circles into your wet panties.

He pulled back from you, a whine leaving you as he gripped the bottom of his shirt that you wore, waiting for your nod of permission before he pulled it up and tossed it away.

Your nipples hardened in the cool air of the room and he couldn't help but admire you as he let his flesh hand come up to cup one of your full breasts, wasting no time in getting to work playing with your perked nipple.

At one particularly sharp pinch to it you moaned, back arching.

"Stop teasing me and do something," you huffed.

A chuckle left him as he leaned down to peck your lips once more.

"As you wish, doll."

His lips began back on their trail down your neck but this time they continued on, leaving kisses to your chest and licks to your nipples until you were squirming, before kissing his way down your belly.

When he got to the edge of your panties, he glanced up at you.

"Can I taste you?" he asked, lips brushing your abdomen as he spoke and causing your muscles to tense.

You bit your lip.

"Nobody's ever done that before," you told him, a bit embarrassed over it.

You were by no means a virgin but no guys you had been with before had ever taken an interest in giving oral, even if they received it themselves.

He shook his head.

"That's a crime, baby. I could live between these thighs." he said, turning to press a kiss to the thigh on his left, "We don't have to, but I would love to."

Fuck, this man was a dream come true.

"I want to. With you, I want to," you told him, and a grin graced his beautiful features.

He went back to trailing kisses along the waistband of your underwear before pulling back, hands sliding up your thighs and to your hips, grabbing the fabric and sliding it down.

You helped him get rid of them, lifting your hips and laughing as he tossed them carelessly over his shoulder.

You were naked beneath him now and you let out a yelp as he tugged you closer, your thighs being slid over his shoulders.

You had no time to say anything before you felt warm heat sliding over your clit.

"Oh," you gasped, thighs seizing at the sensation.

Your hands flew to the messy hair that was currently between your legs, fingers entwining in it while his head moved.

His tongue ran from your soaked entrance up to the hard bud of your clit.

"Doll, you taste amazing," he groaned against you, leaving a quick suck to the pulsing bud, "It's a shame nobody has done this for you. I could feast on this pussy for breakfast, lunch and dinner."

A breathy laugh escaped you before it turned into a moan as he got back to work.

"Bucky, holy shit," you whined, and he had to use one arm to rest over your hips as he worked to keep you still.

His free hand soon joined in and he pushed one, then two fingers into your soaked entrance, stretching you open. He explored for a moment before finding the spot within you that had you yelling out your release.

He continued flicking his tongue against your overstimulated clit until you couldn't take it anymore and you pulled him away gently.

He looked up at you, and you were sure your flushed cheeks matched his.

His lips were swollen and glistening but you didn't care as you pulled him up to kiss you, humming at the taste of yourself on him.

Your fingers fisted the fabric of his shirt and pulled it up a bit, "We're a bit unevenly matched here, babe."

He hesitated for a second before letting you pull the shirt off of him.

Your eyes landed on the scar of where his arm used to be where it met the dark metal of his artificial one.

You met his eyes for a moment before leaning in, kissing the gnarled skin.

"You're beautiful to me, Bucky." you told him and a soft smile graced him.

You leaned back up to brush your lips against his as you spoke.

"Now, lean back so I can suck your cock," you commanded softly.

Bucky didn't think he had ever moved so fast, leaning back and taking in the glory of your nude body laying in front of him.

You could see the evidence of his need pitching a tent in his pants and you sat up, quickly switching roles so now he was laying back as you hovered over him.

You leaned down and kissed him as your hands wasted no time in finding the waistband of his pants, tugging them down to expose his cock.

Your jaw dropped at the sight, easily the biggest you've seen.

But you were up for the challenge.

Your right hand came down to wrap around him, barely able to make it all the way around, and you laughed at the soft grunt he let out.

"This is impressive, baby." you told him as you began to stroke the hard length of him.

You straddled his thigh so you could reach him easier and you couldn't help but grind yourself against it just a bit, feeling arousal grow in you once more at the sight.

Bucky was unable to speak, jaw slack as he watched you.

After stroking him for a moment longer you leaned down and let your tongue come out, licking him from root to tip and feeling pride swell in you at his groan.

Your lips wrapped around the tip of him and you sucked, letting your tongue dip into the slit.

"Fuck, doll, you're gonna kill me," he growled, eyes nearly black with arousal.

A giggle left you, causing him to moan once more at the vibrations of it.

Your eyes closed as your head began to bob on him, cheeks hollow as you went.

Your hips began to pick up their pace as you ground on his thigh and he lifted it to help you get a better angle.

The feeling of your moans around him were driving him wild and he grasped the back of the couch with his metal hand, the wood base creaking with his strength as his flesh hand went to cup your cheek, thumb tracing your lips wrapped around him.

You opened your eyes to glance at him through your eyelashes, your free hand that wasn't holding him coming up to tease his balls, and he was done for.

"Goddammit, baby" he growled, and tried to tug you back in case you didn't want him to come down your throat.

You shook your head, speeding up both your mouth on him and your hips, determined to come at the same time as him.

A shout left him as he came down your throat and you whined as you ground your soaked pussy onto him, releasing for a second time.

You took a page from his book and suckled on his tip until he pulled away, unable to take it anymore.

You sat up straight, licking your lips before crawling up to lay on his chest, your naked bodies pressed against each other.

He grabbed the blanket you both had been using before, pulling it over you both before glancing at the movie on the TV that was now scrolling through the credits.

"I think date three was a success," he teased, and you laughed as you propped your chin on his chest to look up at him.

"I can't wait to see what date four brings," you said teasingly, leaning up to kiss him.

[cherry-pop-elf]

Kiss it Better Pt:2

Curly x Reader

AN: Holy shit I did NOT expect all the love and support from the original like god damn! People begging for a part 2 and everything (I’ll make sure to tag those who asked for one at the bottom) Like oh my god thank you guys so much! This means the WORLD to me! As a disabled person trying to make his medical issues more accurate it means so much that yall love it and how I write in general! Thank you!

SUM: You and Anya were busy dealing with changing Curly’s wrappings together. Sharing stories, and just trying to stay positive. That’s when you just had to ask. What’s going on between her and Jimmy?

Warnings: Jimmy, sexual assault, Anya sharing her trauma so pls take care of yourself, medical gore, medical situations, light violence,

“Thank you again for handling Curly’s medication. I’m sorry I just-“ Anya would try to explain again how sorry she was that she was struggling to do her job. A job you could never blame her for. She’s been through a traumatic event of the ship crashing, and already had to try and save a near corpse. She deserves to breathe.

“Anya it’s fine, really. I’m his romantic partner as well. It be weird if I didn’t pick up some responsibility and tried to take care of him. You also deserve time to rest. You’ve done so much for him, and saved his life. Give yourself more credit. It’s not a sin to ask for help.” You would try and comfort her, as you would grab the fresh bandages for Curly.

He needed a lot of them, and they had to be changed out relatively often. He’s basically just exposed meat after all. The risk of infection was high, which you were wondering how he didn’t even catch any yet, so he needed alot of attention and care.

If only Pony Express had packed more, because the med bay was running out of them fast. Very very fast. Might be only able to maybe re wrap him a few more times now. Had you terrified because as much as you wanted to take care of him you had to leave some bandages for the rest of the crew. In case of another emergency.

You wish you could be doing more.

“We’re going to undress you. Is that alright?” Anya would ask Curly, who in return would give two blinks to indicate that he consented to being stripped. Was gonna have to be done but it was still so kind of Anya to still ask before hand.

The two of you would soon get to work on changing out his bandages. A very slow, careful, tedious job. One that normally took over a hour to do properly. So it’s time to kill some of that empty space.

“Ya know, this isn’t the first time over had to wrap up a certain someone because they got hurt. I remember a time when we were at a Ski resort with his family. Someone wanted to try a path that was meant for experts and before you know it someone’s returning to the lodge with his leg bone sticking out of his pants.”

Anya gave a little ‘oh my’ as you just laughed at the memory. Curly just adored sports. Especially the winter variety. You felt so blessed that he had a job that paid so well. Well enough that the two of you, and his own family sometimes, could go and enjoy vacations like that.

You wonder if the two of you will ever see the snow again.

“That sounds rather nice, minus the whole breaking his leg. To share a cabin together with someone. Cuddle for warmth together by the fire place. Sounds really nice.” She would speak dreamily. As if she knew it was simply that. A dream. Something that will never happen again. No matter how hard she tried.

Like something was wrong with her.

“I bet you’ll get that moment. When we escape here you’ll have a flooding of men and women coming your way. The brilliant woman who managed to fight death and win. Again and again. The most brilliant woman to ever live.” You would praise her, as you were very mindful of Curly’s catheter. As if that needed to be messed with.

“Yeah…..Maybe……” Anya didn’t really seem to actually respond. Was like she was just saying words for the sake of words. Had you wondering.

Even before the crash she had just started acting off one day. From being a cheerful woman who was gentle and full of smiles, to being so quiet and scared by the littlest of sounds. Like she expected someone to jump from around the corner and attack her. Any feeling of safety and comfort vanished.

You were worried.

“Say, Anya-“ You began to speak, while disposing the bandages safely into the bio hazard bag. “-Is everything ok? I mean duh we’re not doing to hot with being, ya know, crashed and all. But besides that. You just seem…..different.”

Anya seemed to not hear you. She simply worked on checking over Curly’s body. Hunting down any infections, looking for possible bed sores, monitoring his healing, and getting ready to do the ever so gentlest of sponge baths.

Anya did always get in the zone whenever someone was hurt. You figured she didn’t catch what you said because of it.

So repeated yourself, as you stood next to her. Impossible to miss what you were asking, as you would help Curly sit up and just move his joints to better reach with the sponge.

The only sounds in that room were Curly’s whines of discomfort. Whines to indicate truly how much pain he was in when even the pain killers can numb it.

“Anya….I know you can hear me. Is everything alright? Not to be rude but I’m kinda asking you a question.” You would be gentle, but she still couldn’t help but looked distressed.

“Anya what’s-“ You would reach a hand out, to comfort her, but the second it was raised towards her she would immediately flinch. Her startled reaction ended up even making her drop Curly’s leg on the table.

Oh that’s gotta hurt.

For a fleeting moment you put Anya on the back burner, and just focused your attention on comforting Curly. How he gave a weak sob from the intense pain.

“Shhhh I know Curly Fry. I know. It’s gonna be ok. It was an accident. You know she didn’t mean it. Shhh.” You would kiss his forehead, as Curly had a muscle spasm through his body from the intense shock to his system. So exhausted and in so much pain.

“It’s gonna be ok. I promise. I love you so much. Just think about our future. How we will get off this ship, and have that family. Have our own baby-“

The moment you said baby, that’s when Anya finally cracked.

Her hands were now covering her face, as she just broke down into sobs. Sobs that sounded so hoarse. Like she’s done it so many times that her body was just abused from it. Left you so worried and confused.

What the hell is going on here?

“Anya, what’s wrong? What did I say?” You would gently guide her to a chair, and worked on stroking her hair. Giving her as much comfort as you would to Curly. The same gentle love as he would get. Love she deserved.

It took a while for her to catch her breathe, and you didn’t rush it because it really seemed she needed it, but her own trembling body was finally able to quite down.

“I need to tell you something. I need to tell you something about Jimmy-“

You were quick to kneel down infront of her, and was ready to take in every last word she was going to say. Maybe what secrets she held could finally explain why the hell you all were crashed here. Why Jimmy crashed you all.

“Jimmy ra-“

That’s when the door opened.

As if that bastard had a sixth sense for whenever people were talking about him. That same annoyed expression, same sneer, same empty eyes.

All three of you kinda froze in time now. Looking at him, as he looked back at you all. Scanning you. As if judging to figure out what was being said before entering.

“Hey….Captain….” You swallowed, as you would return to standing. Anya herself remained in her chair, with her head down. Didn’t seem she trusted herself in showing any expressions right now.

“What were you guys talking about?” He asked, as he seemed slightly on edge. Like he hasn’t been sleeping well or had too much caffeine. Just this tension of paranoia was in the air. Like he was worried about something.

“Just about the bandages. We’re starting to run low, and Anya is just getting worried about having enough.” Wasn’t a complete lie. The best lies were the ones with truth sprinkled in.

“Of course he’s wasting our supplies.” He scoffed, before walking over to the table. You were trying to give Curly some respect with grabbing something to cover him up with, but it was like Jimmy wouldn’t let you. The stare he gave you, when you grabbed the clean hospital gown, made you just freeze in place.

It was just so full of hate.

It was just so full of disgust.

It was just cruelty in dark eyes.

It was just focused on you. As if Anya didn’t even exist right now. Like she meant nothing to him. Nothing but the wind in the air. Something you don’t even bother in registering every day. Like how you breathe in air in your lungs.

You don’t notice until it’s gone.

“Has he been given his medication?” He would ask you, as his hands would be firm on the bed side. Just seeming to assert his dominance with standing over the man. Like some got over the little people.

“Yes Jimmy. He’s been medicated. We are actually in the middle of washing him. It would be nice if there was some privacy-“ You tried to gently hint at, only for it yo fall on deaf ears.

"The crash really did do a number on you. You don’t even have a dick anymore. Just holes huh-?” Jimmy would scoff, as that was your final straw. You would give Jimmy a hard hip bump, and quickly covered Curly up. To give him dignity and respect.

“Hey-! Watch it! Don’t think because you are Curly’s little eye candy doesn’t mean you can go pushing people around-“ Jimmy would bark at you.

You didn’t feel fear.

Jimmy was messing with YOUR man now. Curly deserved dignity and respect. He doesn’t deserve to be called a ‘set of holes’ no way in hell. No one deserved that and ESPECIALLY not Curly.

“Will you just shut up?! What the hell are you even doing here?! Aren’t you the Captain now? Captains are suppose to be doing whatever it takes to help the crew. All you’ve been doing is walking around and insulting everyone! It’s like you don’t want us to be saved. Be a Captain and take some responsibility already-!”

The anger that he had for you was terrifying. You swore it was like a switch. He suddenly seemed taller, bigger, angrier, more intense. You felt like you were shrinking more and more. Like you would melt into a puddle under that heated stare.

But you refused to.

For Curly.

“Listen here you-“

SLAP

You smacked him across the face. Was like the world went mute. No one was so much as breathing. Just the stares of shock from Anya and Curly.

“Get. Back. To. WORK.”

You ordered, and he listened.

He would hold his red cheek, and walked away like a dog with its tail between its legs. As if he was all talk and no bite. That he couldn’t bring himself to be more than an angry voice.

Someone needed to keep him in his place.

“Can this damn ship get any more hectic?” You sighed with your fingers to the bridge of your nose. Just trying to think clearly.

That’s when Anya found her voice.

“I’m pregnant.”

You opened your eyes wide, and was frozen in place.

Did you hear that right? No no. No way. Why would she be pregnant? How would she get pregnant? Who would get her…

“Oh my god.”

You slowly turned around to Anya with the puzzle pieces falling into place. You finally realized what had happened.

Jimmy never was a responsible man.

@meheheasasa @letmebedelutional @trashcansally @balanahala562

Prev 2 Next

[areyouwell]

Nyctophobia

Noun: An extreme fear of the dark. Children or adults may have Nyctophobia if they are afraid to be left alone in darkness

Ch.1

Pairing: Logan Howlett x F!Mutant!Reader

Warnings: None as of yet, but we'll get there ;)

Word count: 9.2k

A/N: RIGHT FUCKERS ITS TIME. i don't think i've written a fic this long in goddamn years but here we are. DEFO ooc Logan and also timeline what timeline? Kitty is older than the rest of the students cuz i love her and i said so. reader's mutation is currently shadow-walking but that'll develop as we go on so slay boots. also I have no concept of word limits sooooo 9k chapter let's fucking go

How long had it been? Six months? A year? Two years? Honestly, you couldn’t recall. It felt like it had been forever since ol’ Charlie had sent you travelling the continent. Sure, it had been your idea to try and find mutants before they experience the most traumatic event of their lives, but you didn’t think he’d send you, and certainly not immediately. Though you were glad he did, you didn’t think Scott would make as good an impression as you could.

But, now you were back. Thank fuck. You could finally rest your weary legs and put down your heavy-as-shit bag. And at least now you could work on developing your mutation. Shadow walking. Or at least, it is now. You thought that was the extent of what you could do, just disappear and reappear whenever and wherever there happened to be a shadow cast on the ground. Or on a wall. Or anywhere really. But, Xavier had gently suggested that, perhaps, those shadows could be manipulated one way or another. You wished to fuck you knew how because your bag was all but cutting right through your shoulder.

Your boots crunched against the gravel as you took a deep breath, making your way inside. It was nice to notice nothing had changed. The lawn was still neatly mowed, brickwork hadn’t aged a day. It smelt like comfort. It smelt like home. But before you could even knock on the door, at least being courteous enough not to slip through the shadows, the oak burst open and two unidentified arms had wrapped themselves around your neck in one of the most warming hugs you’d ever received, accompanied by a high pitch squeal.

You knew instantly who that would be. Brown hair spilled across her shoulders, smelling faintly of lavender. “Hey Kitty,” you grinned, dropping your bag to return her tight embrace. It truly did feel like forever.

“I’m so happy to see you it’s been years! We thought you were never coming back! Scott thought you’d died and Charles wasn’t telling us, Logan didn’t think you even existed and that we were all lying, Jean thought you’d just got sick of this place and dipped, it was carnage!” She rambled, her deep brown eyes sparkling slightly. You had to take a minute to actually comprehend what the fuck she was saying before your lips split into a broad smile.

“Well, I can tell you that I’m not dead, at least not yet, and I do very much exist and I am not sick of this place despite what Jean may think. And– wait who’s Logan?” Your brain had only just caught up with the fact that Kit had mentioned a name completely unfamiliar to you. Just how long had you been gone?

“Oh, right yeah. A new teacher,” Kitty kept one arm around your shoulder as she guided you back inside, stopping only when you realised your bag was still left discarded by the front door. “He uh, sorta took your position as PE and combat professor… sorry.” She looked genuinely apologetic, whilst internally, you couldn’t be more grateful. You always thought you weren’t ever cut out to teach, and whilst you sometimes enjoyed it, you were always too worried about the kids being hurt. 

“I’m hurt, a girl’s gone for a year or two and you replace her? What kind of school is this?” you cracked a smile, Kitty’s face morphing from remorse to relief. She really thought you’d be upset? You were touched. “Anyway, what time is it? Where is everyone? I thought classes stopped at–” You were cut off abruptly upon entering the lounge.

“Welcome back!” you covered your face at the chorus of voices, laughing behind your hands before clutching your heart dramatically. 

“Christ! You’ve all just knocked five years off my life!” you grinned, faces both familiar and unfamiliar laughing and smiling just to see you.

“They’ve been looking forward to this for days. Ever since rumour of your return started circulating, they’ve been pestering us nonstop for a date. Eventually, someone caved,” You didn’t need to see Scott’s eyes in order to know he was giving Kitty a pointed look behind his glasses. You looked back to see her looking sheepish.

“Yeah well… they can be really persuasive.” She shrugged, taking your bag off your shoulder and placing it out of the way. You sighed at the loss of weight, rolling your joint slightly. 

“It’s good to see you,” Scott pulled you in for a brief hug, clapping your back once before pulling back, letting the rest of your friends and pupils make their way over. You were consumed by various arms of embraces, questions about your travels, introductions to new students, reminiscing with old students. It was quite possibly the best moment you’d had since you left. But a face caught your eye at the back of the crowd. A young girl, with the same dark brown hair you remember, only now a streak of brilliant white framed her face.

You made your way over, shuffling through the crowd, clasping hands and shoulders with people you knew before finally getting to her.

“Hey you,” you smiled gently, remembering how timid and easy to scare she used to be. You were caught off guard completely by her sudden bright smile. 

“Hey.”

“How long’ve you been here? I didn’t actually think you’d listen to me to be brutally honest with you, thought you’d just shrug it off and continue your own path,” you were relieved to see she had listened to what you’d said two years ago. You’d urged her down this path, to find the school. You’d already known Charles would take her, it was just a matter of her taking herself here.

“Uh… about that…” you’d only seen a smile that sheepish on Kitty. You cocked a brow, head tilting to the side slightly before a hand on your shoulder caused you to whirl. But it was just Ororo. Clearly, your travels had affected you more than you originally thought. 

But Storm wasn’t looking at you, you could only see the back of her white hair as she frantically waved at someone through the crowd, beckoning them over.

“Logan!”

Ah, you guess that made sense now.

Whoever you’d expected to walk through the crowd, you threw that image out your mental window the moment you saw him. 

Now you understood why he taught combat and PE… he was fucking ripped. White t-shirt leaving nothing to the imagination. The facial hair was an interesting choice, but you couldn’t say it didn’t suit him. He was very… rugged lumberjack looking.

You placed a hand on your hip, brows raised in intrigue as he made his way over. You don’t think you’d ever seen a grumpier-looking man. 

“Logan, this is Phantom,” your eyes slid to Ororo as she used your mutant name. 

“Ah, so you do exist,” his voice seemed a perfect match for the rest of him, just as rough and rugged as the worn jeans he was wearing. You nodded, mouth quirking into a small smirk.

“Heard there was some debate over that, glad I could put it to rest,” you outstretched your hand for him to shake, something you were surprised he actually did, calloused palm encasing your own.

“Can ya blame me?” He asked with a raised brow, dropping your hand after a beat too long. Clearly unaccustomed to civility, judging from his appearance. 

“Guess not. You’re also the son-of-a-bitch that stole my position, right?” You asked, wanting to be a lot more serious than you actually were being, but for some reason, you couldn’t help grinning slightly. 

“Language!” Storm elbowed you slightly. Guess you’d forgotten how to behave around the kids too.

Logan held his hands up in surrender. “In my defense, I didn’t think you existed,” though he also seemed serious, you thought you could detect something that could be perceived as humour in his hazel eyes. You couldn’t keep up your poorly constructed façade anymore, waving your hand as if to physically clear the air between the two of you.

“I’m kidding, you can keep it. In all honesty, I was never really cut out for it.” You shrugged. “Besides, I’m–”

“She’s being super modest by the way, she rocked as that professor!” Kitty called from the other side of the room, somehow managing to listen to your conversation. You didn’t know how, since the entire welcome party was still chatting way, but you cast her a withering look nonetheless. 

“So I’ve heard,” Logan’s eyes slid from Kitty back to you as you scoffed.

“Though, of course, it was purely hypothetical, since I didn’t exist and all.” You teased, gesturing to your very much existing self. You silently triumphed over the fact you managed to drag a small smile out of him, realising that making this man pull any other expression other than irritation was something to be proud of. 

You hadn’t realised how completely caught up in the introduction you’d been before you noticed the girl still standing next to you, eyes flicking between you and Logan with a small smile pulling at the corners of her lips. 

“Anyway,” you continued pointedly, “you were saying? So you didn’t come to find this place?” your head tilted again slightly in confusion. “How did you end up here?”

Rogue looked from you to Logan, who’s eyes were still trained on you. You looked between them. “Nope, still confused. How did…?” 

“Well, after you found me, I did carry on my own path, which led me to some shady bar where Logan found me,” she explained quietly.

“More you found me but sure.” He shrugged. You could tell there was some kind of bond between them, one you could recognise was only built through trauma. You’d heard a little of what happened with Eric through Charles’ telepathic link, but he always reassured you to continue what you were doing. But you often wondered what could have happened if you’d returned. 

“So, you brought her here?” You asked, trying to prompt the story forward. Honestly, you wanted to know how he’d succeeded where you’d failed. You could be incredibly persuasive when you wanted to be, but Rogue was stubborn on another level. 

“Me? Nah, didn’t know this place existed at that point.”

“Seems to be a common theme with you,” you couldn’t help the subtle teasing grin spreading across your face, nor your laugh as he rolled his eyes skyward.

“Never gonna live that down, am I?”

“Not whilst I’m still breathing,” you winked, before turning your attention back to Rogue and completely missing the way his features shuddered slightly. “So how’d you get here if tall, dark, and broody over here didn’t know about this?” 

“Tall, dark, and– what?” He asked, bewildered.

Ororo snorted in amusement, before stepping in. “That would be us. We’d been tracking another mutant, Sabretooth, and he just so happened to be tracking Logan, or so we thought at the time. We found Sabretooth, and these two at the same time. Brought them both back.” 

You nodded in understanding, now finally having got through the whole story. Well, maybe not the whole story, you knew there were details you definitely were missing, but at least you got the jist.

“I see. Glad it wasn’t my lack of persuasive skills then. Though I guess a life or death situation isn’t much better. How’s your mutation coming along?” you asked, only now noticing the black, elbow-length gloves she was wearing. Ah.

“Still hard to control, but I’m getting better at it!” She looked genuinely enthusiastic about her mutation, so much so that it almost brought a tear to your eye. When you’d met her two years ago, you didn’t know if she even wanted help. She’d been so lost in her despair and self-loathing that you didn’t think she had long left with the way her mental health was going. So to see her so happy, your throat closed up slightly.

“I’m glad, I really am. You deserve this, Rogue. All of this,” you gestured to the room around, to the friends she’d made, to the haven she’d found.

“Oh, my name’s Marie. Guess I didn’t tell you before.” She shrugged, and you had to laugh to stop yourself from crying. 

“Marie it is.” Her story touched your heart, and to see she managed to get her happy ending… fuck you were so close to crying. You had to change the subject before you broke down in front of these people. “Oh hey, is my room still the same? Wouldn’t mind freshening up a little, been a long journey.” Two birds with one stone. You could leave the situation and cry in your bathroom whilst taking a shower so you didn’t smell like the wrong end of a skunk. Perfect!

“Uh…” Storm started.

“About that…” Kitty continued, coming over to stand alongside Storm. You looked between them, before shooting a glance to Logan who seemed to be showing absolutely no remorse.

“Your bed’s real comfy, bub” he smirked, and you gaped.

“You’re fucking kidding me?”

“Language!” both Ororo and Kitty said at the same time, and you winced.

“Fuck, sorry. Shit! Argh!” you gave up, throwing your hands in the air. “I’m not letting any of you off the hook. This is betrayal at its finest! Giving him my position I can handle, but my damn room? That’s shocking behaviour from the both of you!” You pointed at them accusingly, shooting a glare to the man next to you who was doing nothing but lowly chuckling. You breathe out a sigh. You had the best room in the whole mansion. Or at least you did, before Muscles McGee stole it from you.

“Don’t blame those two” Jean placed a calming hand on your shoulder. “we didn’t have another room made up when these two arrived. It was supposed to be temporary, but–”

“The view was too nice to pass up on,” Logan interjected. You realised he probably thought it was his turn to tease you. You knew that view was nice, it was overlooking the entire grounds behind the school. And whilst you were going to sorely miss it, you weren’t so heartless that you’d take it back from him. Besides, in a weird way, you felt like you owed him. He found Marie, and whatever transpired between them, she seemed happier now. You guessed you maybe had him to thank for that.

“Yeah yeah, alright fine. I concede. Where am I then?” you asked Jean, who broke into a broad smile.

“You’re in the one above, still got the same view, don’t worry,” she elbowed you slightly. That wasn’t so bad actually. Same view, same side of the mansion, just one story up? You breathed a sigh of relief. Yeah, you could do that.

“Good enough, I’m still mad about it though.” Your eyes narrowed at four of them, Logan included, before cracking your neck in preparation to take your bag all the way up the stairs.

Kitty clapped her hands excitedly, and you raised a brow in suspicion. “What’s got you so giddy?” you asked as she once again slid her arm across your shoulders, guiding you back towards the door. 

“Oh nothing, just glad you're home. It’s been kinda boring without you.” You laughed at that. With everything that’s been going on, you didn’t think any of them had time to be bored. But you appreciated the thought nonetheless. 

Eyeing your bag on the ground, there were times when you really wished your mutation involved some kind of super strength, because as happy as you were to be home and have a room just above your old one, you really didn’t want to lug that thing all the way up. And all the damn lights were on, so slipping up through the shadows was a no-go. You blew out a breath in preparation, rolling your shoulder once again, before you were stopped by a broad hand landing on your arm.

“I got it,” Logan’s voice weaved butterflies through your stomach. You hadn’t realised he was behind you before he was leaning down next to you and effortlessly slinging the bag over his own shoulder.

For the second time that afternoon, you gaped up at him, left almost speechless. 

“Super strength?” Was all you could say, hoping to Jesus he knew what you were asking. You watched his features morph from confusion to amusement as he shook his head slightly. 

“Nah, not quite.”

“Then how the fu–” you were reminded of the children present by a sharp elbow to the ribs from Kitty. “–uuun. How fun.” you gave up on your question, much to his mirth. The sight had your brain short-circuiting. You wouldn’t deny he was good-looking. You’d be fucking crazy to deny that. But there was something else hidden under all those knowing smirks and sharp glances. Something that you wouldn’t mind uncovering. 

Deciding that was a quest for another day, you turned abruptly on your heel, making your way to the staircase before once again stopping in your tracks. This was starting to get on your nerves a little. However, any irritation soon died as you finally saw Professor Xavier.

“Ah, I wondered whether the commotion was your return.”

You snorted a laugh. “No, you didn’t. You absolutely knew it was my return.” You quipped back, earning yourself a laugh from the man.

“As quick as ever. And I see you’ve met our Wolverine.” Charles nodded to Logan next to you, and you turned to him in bemusement. 

“Wolverine? Seriously?” you asked, laughing at his shrug. “Can’t think why…” your sarcastic jab paired with your pointed looks from his hair to his body brought another amused smirk from the man. 

“I thought you two would get along. Get yourself settled back in and meet me in my office and your earliest convenience.” You nodded back to Xavier, unable to take a moment to process what he meant when he said he thought you and Logan would get along before Kitty began dragging you towards the stairs.

“C’mon! You’re gonna love it!”You were slightly worried about what it was but followed her nonetheless.

Logan had to admit, he didn’t mind carrying your bag up four flights of stairs. It wasn’t the worst way to spend his afternoon. And as much as he wasn’t the kind of guy to stare at a woman’s ass, he wasn’t mad that he was behind you. 

Everything he’d been told about you had been proven correct. At least, everything he’d seen so far. Whether or not you could hold yourself in a fight was up for debate, but everything else, your wit, your charm, heartbreaking kindness, humour… it was all right there in front of him. 

Literally.

He’d lost count of how many times he’d had to bite back a smile or a laugh, stunned by the fact that you actually managed to break through and pull both from him. Even now, as you paused before the landing that lead to your old room and sighed wistfully, had had to stop himself grinning. And he was glad you turned back around quickly after throwing him a pointed glare over your shoulder because that was another smile he was struggling to rein in. Fuck, how did you do it? He’d only known you for half an hour and he’d displayed more expression than he had in his whole two years of being here. 

He was in huge trouble. 

The stairs finally flattened out to the top floor landing, Kitty still leading the way down the corridor until the final room. It was isolated, like his one floor below, and he guessed you must like it that way. Which he thought strange. The way you were with others, he hadn’t exactly pegged you for being someone who liked her space. But then again, he’d only known you for thirty minutes.

He had to remind himself of that. 

“Here we are!” Kitty grinned excitedly, stepping to the side to let you open the door yourself. Logan knew what you’d find behind the wood. He’d helped set it up after all. Some twisted guilt forced him into helping. At least, that’s what he told himself. 

You eyed Kitty suspiciously, before twisting the handle on the door, pushing slightly to reveal what she was so excited about. 

If Logan was being honest, your expression was worth all the consuming guilt he’d felt by taking your room. A smile of pure, unadulterated awe wiped all thought from his mind, your eyes were practically glowing.

“You… Kitty, you didn’t need to do this,” You looked back to the giddy girl and pulled her into a tight hug. Everything you remembered was here. Your posters, fairy lights, and every single plant you’d nourished and grown made your room look like a rainforest. The light in the ceiling had been covered by patterns to ensure there was always shadows cast somewhere, whether it be floor, wall, or ceiling. 

“It wasn’t just me! I employed help,” Kitty smiled, taking the liberties she knew she had to sit cross-legged on your bed. “And others offered to help.”

Logan held his breath as he felt your attention shift from Kitty to him, meeting your gaze of sheer wonder. 

“You helped?” you asked, taking your bag from his shoulder, though he was almost too caught up in your gaze to notice.

“Here an’ there…” he muttered, trying to calm himself by leaning against the doorframe, folding his arms across his chest, attempting to escape your eyes by looking around your room. 

“Here and there? That’s such a lie! He’d heard about your mutation, the shadow-casting thing was his idea!” Kitty grinned excitedly, and you all but choked on the realisation. He did this for you. He didn’t even know you, and he did this for you. 

“Kitty, that’s en–oof!” Logan barely had time to react before your arms were around his neck, your chin resting on his shoulder. Your scent hit him like a truck, and it was nothing like how he’d imagine it. Not that he had imagined it…

“Thank you,” you whispered earnestly, and any guard he’d put up previously melted away. He didn’t exactly return your embrace, but his hands somehow found your waist as you pulled back, keeping your arms across his shoulders. “Maybe I can forgive you for stealing my old room now. Oh! And my job. And not believing I exist,” your grin held more mischief than he ever thought possible, but now you were back to teasing, he felt his thoughts return. 

“Anythin’ else?” He asked, mirroring your expression.

“Not yet, but I’m sure I’ll think of something,” was it Logan’s sudden and overactive imagination, or did your eyes just flicker to his lips?

Was it the sudden physical contact that made your body hum this way, or was it just the fact that he could bench-press three of you? You didn’t care, and somehow, you didn’t think he did either. 

Until very suddenly and very abruptly, you did care. You stepped out of his hands far too quickly for his liking, your arms falling back by your sides. Though you didn’t look like you regretted anything. 

“I really appreciate this, from both of you. And whoever else helped. This is… well it’s better than what I was imagining,” you gestured to the room around you. It truly was perfect for you. They’d really outdone themselves. He’d really outdone himself. And you couldn’t help the warmth that spread from the centre of your chest to your limbs. You wanted to know more about him. “What’s your mutation, by the way? You never said,” you asked before you could stop yourself, and Logan blinked in surprise.

Holding his fist up, he flexed the tendons holding his claws. He no longer winced when his knuckles split. No longer grimaced as he sliced through his own flesh, though watching your face did cause him to worry just a little. 

You held your silence for a moment, not really knowing what to say. That looked painful as fuck, but you felt that asking might make it worse. “I see…” was all you said, before it hit you. “Wolverine! I get it now. It made sense before but now it actually fits!” You exclaimed, chuckling at his confusion. 

“Whaddya mean it made sense before?” 

“Don’t think too much into it,” you winked again, and Logan swore his heart stopped. 

“Yeah, alright Phantom.” He cocked a brow at the playful narrow of your eyes before you melted into the shadows right in front of him. He’d been made aware of your mutation, having overheard Jean using both you and Kitty as examples of phasing mutants, but to actually see it for himself? He couldn’t say he wasn’t impressed. He glanced around the room, retracting his claws as he looked for where you could have gone. 

“Get it now?”

Logan whipped around to see you standing behind him, arms folded across your chest, a mischievous grin plastered across your features. 

You always felt a sense of freedom when you released yourself into the shadows, like holding yourself in this corporeal state was somewhat of an effort. But letting yourself be free, to move like liquid amongst the darkness, it was like refueling a beaten truck. 

Logan’s lips quirked into a smile as he nodded once. “Got it,” the silence lingered once again, some kind of charge energy crackled in the space between the two of you before he cleared his throat. “Kitty, we should– the fuck?” 

You popped your head to the side, peering around Logan to see the space on your bed Kitty used to be sitting in was now completely empty. “Guess she left,” you shrugged. “Or she never existed.” That earned you a flick to the forehead from Logan, and you laughed, batting away his hand. How long had it been since you’d felt this comfortable with someone this quickly? Either it had been years, or never. 

“I’ll leave you to it,” he smiled, this time completely unrestrained. And fuck was he gorgeous. But you had to remember this was a man you’d just met. 

He had to remember this was a woman he’d just met.

“Yeah, thanks. I’ll uh, see you later?” You didn’t mean for your voice to sound so hopeful at the end, but honestly? It was worth seeing him turn back to you with that same smirk you’d seen countless times already.

“Sure.” He said, before closing the door. 

You sat heavily on your bed, your head in your hands. “What the fuck?” 

Little did you know, Logan was having a similar reaction right outside your door, his back against the wood as he pinched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger. “What. The. Fuck?”

Having almost drowned yourself in the shower, using that shampoo you’d missed so dearly on your travels, you’d changed clothes into something a lot more comfortable, a loose pair of sweats and a spaghetti strap tank top, before heading down to Xavier’s office where he’d just spent the last ten minutes explaining his plans to further your mutation. And to be completely honest with yourself, you hadn’t listened to half of it. 

“So, in short, your ability, whilst appearing similar to Kitty’s, is actually entirely different. Where Kitty phases through objects, you become those shadows. Your molecules break down completely, unlike Miss Pryde.” He finished his explanation slowly, and you didn’t have the heart to tell him you had no idea what he’d just said. Luckily, when conversing with a telepath, you didn’t have to.

Charles sighed, rubbing his forehead slightly. “You’ve always said you felt a strain on yourself whilst corporeal, yes?” He asked, and you breathed in relief. Finally, a question you could answer.

“Yeah, it’s like I’m holding water with my bare hands. Or something like that,” you nodded, looking at yourself slightly curiously. “So, I’m not like Kitty?” you clarified, looking back up the the professor, who shook his head. 

“I’m afraid not. We were mistaken before, simply assuming you were just another phasing mutant. But Jean ran some tests on your blood, and it was quite remarkable.” You’d almost forgotten the woman was in the room until she cleared her throat, her red hair pulled up in a tight ponytail. 

“I think you describe it perfectly. Your molecules are being held together, more or less, by string, or so to speak. Not real string, but I think you understand.” You nodded. You actually did understand, because that’s how you constantly felt. It was, however, incredibly unnerving. What would happen if that string frayed? Or worse, fucking snapped altogether? Sensing your distress, Charles covered your hand with his own.

“My dear, that’s why we brought you back. We’ve been incredibly lucky so far, and clearly, you have an innate ability to control the string. It’s led us to believe that your abilities don’t stop at shadow walking.” He looked at you with understanding as you took this all in. He’d mentioned to you previously that he thinks you could do more. 

“Shadow manipulation, right?” You asked though the question was rhetorical. You knew that’s where they were going with this. Charles glanced at Jean who nodded in confirmation. 

“Essentially, yes. We think you could pull shadows from an already existing cast and wield them to your heart’s content. In… theory.” She hesitated, and you blew out a breath.

“But in practice?”

“In practice… honestly we don’t know. It will be a learning curve for all of us, to be blunt.” You nodded a little numbly. You’d only just returned and already you were being bombarded with hard truths. 

Once again sensing your distress, Charles cleared his throat. “Well, I think we should continue this discussion tomorrow. You’ve had a long day and perhaps right now isn’t the best time to be entertaining new ideas.” He threw another look to Jean and she nodded again, standing from her seat.

You couldn’t agree more. This was a lot to take in. Especially since you’d become so comfortable with your mutation, believing that you were just another phaser like Kitty. But now, you were something else completely, something unknown. Even to yourself. It… scared you. And you didn’t scare easily. Worry? Sure. Impending sense of dread? Absolutely. Fear? Never.

“Right. Thanks, Professor. I’ll uh, see you tomorrow then.” You dipped your head goodbye, before leaving his office and closing the door behind you. Tea. You needed tea. Fuck you needed something stronger than tea, but since this was a goddamn school, alcohol was strictly prohibited. 

Fuck’s sake. 

Dragging a hand down the side of your face, you absently made your way to the kitchen and flicked on the kettle. Muscle memory guided you to the drinks cupboard, moving aside the jar of decaff coffee to reveal your personal stash of teabags. Whilst primarily you were a coffee drinker, when it was this late in the evening, you tended to steer clear of the caffeine. You weren’t the best at sleeping to begin with, let alone when your mind and body were buzzing. 

You didn’t turn when you heard footsteps behind you, and the scrape of one of the chairs against the wooden floor, too focussed on rifling through the cupboard adjacent to the drinks one for our favourite mug. A gift from Kitty, she’d had custom-made for the print on the side to say ‘Phasers Forever!’. It made you a little sad to think about now. But, thankfully you found it, nestled right at the back next to the mug you’d gifted her. Also custom-made, but this just had the image of two hands with their little fingers linked. You’d made sure the gloves matched the ones you both wore in your suits. 

Dropping the teabag into the mug, you instantly savoured the scented steam as you poured the hot water, even the aroma calming your slightly frayed nerves. Wow, that meeting had seriously rattled you. Looping the string and tag over the lip of the mug, you turned back to the room, only to almost drop your freshly made drink in surprise.

Logan. Hair slightly damp, in a white v-neck tank, sat at the far end of the table, leaning back in the chair with a bottle of what you could have sworn was larger in his bear paw of a hand. That same fucking smirk pulled at his lips. 

“Phantom.” He raised his bottle in greeting. You wished you could match his energy, but honestly, you were drained from the day and the meeting. But you tried nonetheless.

“Wolvie.” You smiled back, though you could feel it didn’t reach your eyes. And clearly, he noticed too, expression shifting from self-assured confidence to slight concern.

“You alright?” Logan had only known you for less than a day, and he already knew he really didn’t like seeing you despondent. 

“Yeah, fine.” It almost pained him physically seeing your eyes remain dull with your liar’s smile. That was something else he realised in that split second. 

He really didn’t like you lying to him.

“Uh huh?” Fuck, he definitely knew you were hiding everything. How the fuck could he possibly tell that? He didn’t even know you! You sighed heavily, hoping it would help your next half-truth.

“I’m just tired. Long day, lots of emotions. Are you hungry? I’m starved and was gonna make pasta if you wanted some,” You tried your best to steer the conversation away from how you were feeling. Once again it wasn’t exactly a lie. You were starving, having not eaten since this morning, and it was now ten in the evening. 

Logan knew you turned away quickly so you didn’t have to see his suspicion. If you weren’t ready to talk about whatever was bothering you, he knew he shouldn’t push. But, to his surprise, he found himself wanting to know. He wanted to know what was up, and maybe, just maybe, he could make you feel better. It seemed doubtful, but it was worth a shot. “How was your meeting with Charles?”

Your shoulders tensed, spine straightening. Gotcha.

“Yeah, fine. Just easing me back into life here basically. Nothing earthshattering.” Now that was a flat out lie, and once again you refused to turn around as you brought the kettle over to the tap, filling it to the max line before placing it back on the stand and flicking the switch. You found it easier to lie when you were busy doing something else and making pasta seemed perfect. Crouching to one of the lower cupboards, you pulled out the pack of wholewheat, refusing to eat any of the sugary white bullshit. Unfortunately, the one downside of busying yourself so remarkably well was that you weren’t always paying attention to what was going on around you.

For example, Logan walking up behind you to take the packet from your hand and place it on the counter. You turned, realising he’d given you minimal space to move. He was so close you could smell the gel he used in the shower. Woodsy and smoky, like a forest cabin. He smelt fucking great, but to be honest, you were too busy trying to avoid eye contact to care.

“S’that why you look like your pet just died?” You knew he was trying to be teasing, trying to lighten the mood, trying to create a comfortable environment for you to open up in, but you didn’t know him, and he didn’t know you. With a deep breath, you stepped to the side and out of his reach, opening the fridge to look for something to make a nice creamy sauce with.

“Look, Logan. I appreciate it, and what you’re trying to do, but at the same time, I don’t know you. And you don’t know me. So, and I mean this with the utmost respect, fucking drop it. I’m tired and I have genuinely had a long day, what more do you want me to say?”

Logan blinked. And blinked again for good measure. He wasn’t expecting you to be so sharp. He didn’t know why he wasn’t expecting it, but you really took him by surprise. That seemed to be all you were doing since the moment he met you. Though this one stung a little more than he cared to admit. “That might’ve been the nicest fuck off I’ve ever heard. But it was still a fuck off.” He shrugged. He knew deep down you were right. You didn’t know each other, and maybe was was expecting a little too much from a three-hour friendship. If he could even call it that. 

“I didn’t mean–” You turned back from the fridge just in time to watch his disappearing form leave through the door, hearing his footsteps recede back up the stairs. You cursed inwardly, hating yourself for how you handled the situation. Though, looking at the pasta on the counter, you had an idea as to how to fix some of this. 

It had been roughly half an hour since he’d left you in the kitchen, recognising you needed space, and in all honesty? Retreating to lick his own wounds. He didn’t know why he wanted you to open up so badly. It wasn’t like he had a long-lasting friendship with you. He met you today, for fuck’s sake. Only hours ago. Shit, this morning he still didn’t think you existed! Logan groaned at the memory of you shutting him down, wishing he’d handled the situation differently, and stopped prodding when he knew he should have. Fuck!

He’d just managed to resolve to come and talk to you, before there was a thump at his bedroom door, followed by another. That wasn’t any kind of fist knocking… 

With deliberate caution, Logan stood from his bed, shining claws sliding through his knuckles as he approached the door, only for his nerves to be calmed when a familiar scent wafted through the cracks in the door. He didn’t dare get his hopes up until he turned the handle, pulling the door open to reveal you, stood before him, two steaming plates of pasta held impressively in one hand, and two bottles of larger in the other, your foot raised to kick the door a third time. 

“Before you slam the door, I brought peace pesto pasta, homemade so you know it’s good.” You were honestly surprised he opened the door, though you eyed his claws cautiously. Who did he think it was?

Logan noticed your line of sight, retracting his claws to cross his arms, a brow raised. “Peace pesto pasta?”

You nodded. “Homemade, don’t forget.” Logan smiled slightly at the hope in your eyes. “And also beer so you physically can’t turn me down.” You raised the two bottles in your hand, and he sighed as if you were a nuisance. Unfortunately for him, that couldn’t be further from the truth. 

“Homemade peace pesto, beer, and…?” 

You stuck your tongue in your cheek. “An apology.” You reluctantly admitted, looking anywhere but his face. “Can I come in or are you gonna stare at me all evening? These aren’t the most balanced plates, been a while since I was a waitress so…” you mumbled in explanation, earning yourself a quizzical look.

“You were a waitress?”

“Yes and it was a long time ago but we can talk all about it if I can set these down somewhere they won’t fall on your feet,” you said hurriedly, borderline pleading with your eyes for him to let you in. It wasn’t as if he was about to say no, there was just something comical about the way you were managing to hold everything in your hands. 

With a click of his tongue, he gestured for you to enter with his head, closing the door behind you as you set one of the plates down on the window seat, rubbing the red skin of your arm where the hot plate had ever so slightly burned you. He instantly felt bad, crossing the room with the intention to take your arm to look at it before you stuck it into the shadow on the wall, removing it again to reveal your skin pristine again.

“It wasn’t that bad, just uncomfortable,” you shrugged, handing a plate and bottle to him. Logan shook his head at what he’d just seen, giving you a look of ‘fair enough’ before taking the plate and beer gratefully. How long had it been since someone cooked for him? Though you’d done it as a peace offering, it still warmed his heart slightly. That and the fact it smelt fucking divine. 

“I’m sorry…” you started, mindlessly poking your pasta around your plate with your fork after making yourself comfortable on his window seat. He guessed it used to be your window seat, but it still made him happy how comfortable you looked. “The Professor told me something in the meeting and… rattled me, that’s all,” you shrugged, popping a few pieces of green pasta into your mouth and chewing thoughtfully. 

Logan decided to wait for you to continue, cracking open the bottle top of his beer with his teeth. Raising a brow as you looked over at him in slightly disturbed awe. 

“How did you not just break your jaw?” you asked, flabbergasted at his seemingly endless pool of abilities. 

“Not much can break it, considering my skeleton’s adamantium.” Logan was starting to like when you gaped at him in shock, admiring the way you jaw went completely slack, eyes wide. 

“Wait, how don't you– ohhhhh…” It had taken you a while to notice just how much the bed dipped when he sat down. No wonder he was so ripped, he had to be that strong in order to fucking walk around. “Any other secrets you're hiding?” You asked, before instantly regretting the question when his eyes met yours.

“You wanna talk about keeping secrets now?” He asked curtly.

“Walked into that one…”

“Yeah, you kinda did.” 

You sighed, fiddling with the bottle cap of your beer. Not to remove it, just to feel the sensation of the almost serrated edges helped to ground yourself. 

“You know about my mutation, the whole shadow-walking thing?” You asked, to which Logan responded with a nod, finally taking a bite of the pasta you’d made. Your heart swelled with pride as he paused, looking from the food to you with an impressed smile. “So, turns out, it’s nothing like Kitty’s. It’s not phasing like we originally thought, but something totally different.” You started to explain to an intensely listening Logan. “Kitty phases through things. I actually become the shadows I enter. Like, it’s not still my body but just in the shadow, my molecules break down to literally be the shadow,” you could tell he was trying to understand, his head tilting slightly to the side in a way you genuinely found cute. “It’s like, I’m holding water in my bare hands,” you started to demonstrate, placing your plate and bottle down beside you to cup your hands in front of you. “And this, this is my body. My corporeal body. But, when I dive into shadows, that body breaks down,” your cupped hands splayed apart, fingers spread to simulate a liquid splash. Logan nodded thoughtfully through mouthfuls of pasta. “How Jean explained it was that my molecules are held together with some kind of thread, and I control that thread, but it’s a constant strain… Like, I can feel my body being held together. And it just… I don’t know. It scared me I guess.”

The room fell into silence as you finished your explanation, Logan setting his somehow clean plate to the side, leaning his elbows against his spread knees, beer bottle clasped in both hands. “I uh, don’t really understand what’s scary bubs, sounds like this is an opportunity to develop it, right?” he asked, eyes searching your face for any sign you were reassured.

You sighed, the back of your head softly hitting the wall behind you. “Well apparently we’ve been lucky so far, and my control over this string or thread or whatever the fuck is stronger than they thought but… I don’t know, I guess what first went through my mind was what would happen if the thread snapped. Would I just stop being able to shadow walk or–”

“Would you stop altogether, and be able to do nothing but shadow walk,” Logan finished, realisation dawning on his gruff features. You nodded slightly, not wanting to speak anything into existence. 

“Exactly.” You whispered, staring into your borderline untouched pasta. You honestly didn’t know what to do, and you didn’t know what could be done. Surely, at this point, it was just a matter of time, right? The thought hit you like a lightning bolt. If it was just a matter of time, you just burdened this poor man, who you’d only met hours ago, with the knowledge that, eventually, you were likely just simply dissolve into nothing, cursed to live forever in the shadows of others. “Anyway, yeah, that’s why I had a face like, how did you put it? Like my pet just died,” You did your best to imitate his voice, hoping to shit it would lighten the mood of the room, but it only earned you a look of sympathy.

Fucking sympathy. You hated sympathy.

You’d come in here in the hopes to make things right with him and apologise for how you were earlier, but the one thing you really didn’t want, and never fucking wanted, was sympathy. You sighed heavily, preparing yourself for whatever ‘I’m so sorry this is happening speech’ he was clearly getting ready to spill. 

But for the umpteenth time in the short while you’d known him, Logan surprised you. Taking your bottle of beer from your side, he cracked the lid off with his teeth, the same as before, before handing it back to you. You, as stunned as you were, managed to take it from his hand, the soft skin of your fingertips brushing the backs of his own. You smiled in resignation, raising your bottle in some tragic excuse of a toast. ‘To the inevitable’ you wanted to say, but you physically bit your tongue before taking a long sip of the slightly bitter liquid.

“It won’t come to that,” you’d forgotten, in the period of silence, that you were waiting for him to say something. You tilted your head in confusion, and it honestly took all of Logan’s willpower not to launch into you and wrap you up in his arms. He really needed to pull himself together. “Look, I was pretty fuckin’ helpless when I came here. And I know you remember the state Marie was in. Neither of us thought we were worth savin’, but look at us now,” in complete honesty, Logan still didn’t think he was worth saving, but that was neither here nor there. “He’ll help ya. You’ll get this under control. And it ain’t all bad. He already said you had more control than he thought,” You could feel his eyes search your face as you closed yours. Maybe he was right. Charles had said you had more control over these strings than he thought. 

Logan was right. That was a good thing.

“Well, we’ll see tomorrow. That’s when we really start everything. We have another meeting before we’re straight into training, seeing if we can really develop this mutation before I cease to exist. No pressure right?” You half-joked, your lips quirking up into what you hoped was a smile. Or, at least, a lopsided one. 

Fuck he wanted to kiss you. Kiss you. When the hell was the last time he’d felt like this toward anyone? He hadn’t wanted to kiss anyone in goddamn years, and here you were, a woman he didn’t even believe existed a few hours ago, waltzing into his life and making him feel things like wanting to fucking kiss you. 

“I uh… ya know I wanted to apologise too.”

Well, that caught you off guard. “Wh– wait what? Why? What for?” you couldn’t help firing off questions at speeds you didn’t know you were capable of, utter bafflement contorting your features. 

“You were right. I don’t know you. And you don’t know me.” Logan watched as your face transformed from confusion, to hurt, to acceptance. 

“Yeah…. I did say that didn’t I? I–”

“But,” he interrupted, stopping you mid-sentence. “That doesn’t mean I don’t wanna know ya…” Logan almost laughed aloud at how your eyes went comically wide. Did you know how cute you were? When you weren’t telling him to fuck off, that is.

“I– Uh, okay, sure… what d’ya wanna know?” you asked, hoping to fuck you didn’t sound ridiculous. If you didn’t, Logan didn’t seem to mind or care. 

“You can start of by tellin’ me how or where you learned to cook so well,” you scoffed loudly, rolling you eyes. “Nah I’m serious kid, that was fuckin’ great,” Logan leaned against the headboard, an arm positioned behind his head as you too made yourself comfortable again on the window seat, resting your elbow on your raised knee.

“Kid? Do you know how old I am?” you asked, smirking slightly. Though you were a little embarrassed, there was no way you’d show it. Kid? Did he seriously think you were that young? 

“Do you know how old I am?” he retorted, that same self-assured glint dancing in his eye. You peered at him in scrutiny, emphasising how hard you were looking at him by squinting intensely.

“I’d put you at around like, early thirties? Maybe mid? Am I hot or cold?” you asked, kinda hoping he was in the same sort of age bracket as you were. Not for any specific reason of course… just for… science.

Yeah. For science.

Though your heart deflated slightly at his bark of a laugh. “Not quite. Try mid to late hundred and thirties. Give or take a few years.” Once again you gaped at him, mouth wide open, jaw completely slack. He could get used to that sight. Dangerously used to it. “Take a picture bubs, it’ll last longer.”

“B-but… how–? Y–? Hundred and– what the fuck?” You couldn’t get over it. Though your mind was still reeling, you managed to recover quickly. “Why you don’t look a day over ninety. You’re in good shape for a fossil, though I was wondering why I was getting a lot of calls from museums recently… probably looking for their exhibit back,” you smirked wildly whilst Logan just stared at you, trying his fucking damnest not to let his disobedient lips quirk anywhere other than down. 

“Ya done?”

“I’ll probably think of some more. But, in all seriousness, how?” You asked, and Logan couldn’t detect anything other than genuine curiosity.

“Regenerative. I heal real quick, but that also keeps my body in good condition. Dunno exactly how old I am, but it’s around hundred and thirty,” he shrugged, and you whistled lowly. “So?” he prompted, and you looked up.

“So what?”

“How’dya make the pasta?” 

You snorted in amusement, before launching into an explanation about your brother and how he always had an interest in cooking and had taught you to cook simple things, like how to make a béchamel sauce, or how to make pesto from scratch. And if you weren’t so caught up in your storytelling, you would have noticed Logan drinking in every damn word like he was parched for conversation. Listening to you talk, the cadence of your voice, the way you pronounce every letter and the way you occasionally drop a letter, it was hypnotic. You didn’t have an abundance of energy, and whether that was simply because you were exhausted after the day you’d had, or if that was just who you were, he didn’t know. But honestly? He didn’t really care. 

As long as you kept talking, that was all that mattered. If he could take your mind off tomorrow, or your situation by letting you ramble about the smallest of things, he would. And he would pretend the whole time like he was doing this for you. And not because, at the end of everything, he liked listening to you. 

“Anyway, that’s how you tell the difference between a Thoroughbred and a Quarter Horse. And I will not make that mistake again.” You’d somehow weaved from topic to topic, the conversation ebbing and flowing for hours, you both taking turns in sharing random stories from your pasts, little anecdotes that gave context to who you both were as people now. And it was only thanks to the brief silence and the conveniently timed chime of the clock did you realise how late it was. Or rather, how early.

It was one in the fucking morning. How the hell did that happen? Your eyes slid back to Logan, who at some point had made himself comfortable on the opposite side of the window seat, and you watched as he had the same realisation. Holy shit.

“I should probably–”

“Look, you should–”

You both started to speak at the same time, before pausing to let the other talk first. It was gross and awkward and cringey but, for the life of you, you couldn’t find it in you to care. 

You stood, gathering your long abandoned, though now empty plate, and crossed the room to grab his from the bedside table. You heard Logan sigh heavily behind you in what you assumed was exhaustion. You couldn’t blame the man. You’d been talking for hours. 

Logan followed you to the door, holding it open for you as you stepped out into the hallway. You placed the crockery onto the floor, freeing your hands to wrap your arms around his neck in a similar embrace to the one before. Only this time, you felt his strong arms return your hug, wrapping you up tightly against his chest.

“Thank you. For letting me talk for hours. You don’t need to pretend you enjoyed it, by the way. But thank you all the same.” You stepped back, and Logan leaned against the door frame, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Yeah well, you brought peace pesto and beer. How could I say no?” He quipped, and you chuckled lightly. He wasn’t about to admit he enjoyed your company far more than he should have done, and he sure as shit wasn’t about to admit he wasn’t pretending to like it. His eyes softened at your laugh in a way he’d stopped them from doing all evening. “I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah?”

You peered up at him, a knowing spark dancing in your iris. You noticed. Of course, you’d noticed. That was almost exactly what you’d said to him earlier. The same hopeful lilt and all. 

“Sure.” Was all you said in return, before picking up the empty plates and bottles off the floor, and turning away to head back down the hallway. You refused to look back, worried that if you did, you’d run straight back to his room and never fucking leave.

But if you had. If you had just turned to look over your shoulder, you would have seen him leaning against the doorway still, eyes following you down the stairs, and lingering still, long after you’d disappeared.

Yeah… he was definitely in trouble.

[sunflowerwinds]

girl, so confusing | v.a

summary: your relationships are a jumbled mess all thanks to you. you try to make amends with caitlyn but she isn’t so forgiving. vi makes an appearance that has you questioning if this was all worth it.

prev. part -> lick it, spit it

pairing: fem!cheerleader!reader x soccer player!vi

contains: modern!au, angst and so much of it, rocky friendships, tw: alcohol consumption and intoxication, and useless lesbians.

word count: 3.2K

a/n: i hope y’all don’t kill me this being my first post for pride month. i love you all. HAPPY PRIDE MONTH, ANGELS!! be safe & enjoy <333

Two weeks of absolute silence from Caitlyn is what you received from that incident.

During practice, she would purposefully ignore you and talk to pretty much every member of the squad except you. After the first few days, you figured that you deserved it.

It’s fresh, you told yourself as you watched her turn her back to you to talk to a fellow cheermate while you stared at her back; facing the indignity of your actions.

But nearing week two, you were tired of being iced out from the one girl you wanted to talk to more than anything right now. The problem with all of this was that when something like this would happen you would go to… well, Caitlyn.

Every bothersome event that happened throughout your day, you would bitch about it to Caitlyn. Now, you were stuck with no one to help you fix this.

And Vi.

Fucking Violet.

You couldn’t even start on how Vi has been treating you since the event. She didn’t text you for about a day or two, giving you the space that you had asked of her but by day five, she was spamming your phone with anxious texts.

A mixture of ‘how are you feeling today?’, ‘text me when you can please’, and the most gut-wrenching one; ‘i miss you.’

Like she was blatantly unaware that what you two had ruined everything.

At that two week mark, you had 35 unread texts from Violet and it was killing you to not answer them. Every single time you saw her name, your mind flashed the memory of Caitlyn’s infuriated and betrayed face when she realized what you had been hiding from her.

It’s not like you didn’t want to talk to Vi.

The guilt of it all was what you couldn’t handle; not while Caitlyn was shunning you out of her life.

It was the week before your first big cheerleading routine for the football team and you have had enough of it. The side-eyes when you dared to be inches near her, the huffs of annoyance when she realized you had arrived to practice, the near childish behavior when Caitlyn hadn’t even given you the time of day.

Whispers of the truth amongst your cheermates.

‘I heard she fucked Caitlyn’s ex.’

‘I think she walked in on them, like, oh my god. Talk about traumatizing.’

‘Can you believe she just did that and for so long? I would’ve beat her ass.’

That’s the thing. Even though they were talking shit about you, to your face, you were still another pretty and sweet cheerleader, just like them.

Yeah, fucking right.

So, you decided that the morning before practice, you would approach her and attempt to finally explain yourself.

Coach Medarda dismisses your squad with a not-at-all disencouraging statement: “Ladies remember, this is our first routine of the football season. We cannot mess this up. You are one unit. Without one of you, it does not work. So be present. And complicit.”

You suck in a deep breath as you watch Caitlyn chugging her water bottle on the metal bleachers, alone. Her blue strands are stuck to her forehead as her head tilts up to the cloudy blue sky, eyes shut as she attempts to calm her heart rate from flying.

You’re in a similar position but, exhaustion aside, you’re focused entirely on something else. You take a few seconds to muster up the courage and open your mouth.

You speak softly, going to sit down next to her.

“Cait?”

Her eyes peek open to see you, and they roll like they have been for the past two weeks; a familiar scene. She sits up and attempts to stand and walk away, but you reach for her wrist as a silent beg for her to stay.

Her head whips towards you with an uninterested expression, but her shoulders tense, giving away how irritated she is.

“Please, Cait. Let me explain.”

Caitlyn blinks at you, eyes flickering down to yours, which causes you to release her with a muttered apology. She sucks in a long deep breath before situating herself next to you once again, but staring straight ahead.

“Okay.” She huffs.

“Okay?” You double-check to make sure you aren’t making it up.

Her head turns to you with a sharp glare, but you nod in understanding.

Don’t push it.

You suck in a deep breath, mentally preparing yourself for any reaction.

“Cait, I need you to understand I never ever meant to hurt you,” Caitlyn makes a sound similar to a scoff and a chuckle mixed into one. You ignore it for a moment as you continue. “I-I didn’t even know I was into girls until Vi and I got assigned to be partners in English Lit. It happened so quickly and one thing led to another and we were seeing each other every other day. I wanted to tell you that night about everything and come clean. It was killing me keeping that a secret from you.”

The navy haired woman turns her body to you as she questions: “Is that supposed to make me feel better? Knowing that you were doing that behind my back for weeks knowing what she did to me? That you felt guilty?”

“No. No, that’s not–” You shake your head rapidly. “That’s not what I meant–”

Caitlyn presses a palm to her damp forehead with a long sigh.

“Then what do you mean? What is the point of this… explanation?”

Your lips twitch into a frown at that, looking down at your cheer shoes.

“To try to let you know that I never wanted to keep it a secret from you. I thought it was nothing; that she wouldn’t mean anything to me but…” You trail off as you shove your face into your hand, shielding your eyes. “She does. That’s what I was going to tell you that night. That I stupidly caught feelings for her.”

Caitlyn snorts at that. “Yeah. That’s very stupid of you.”

You nod in agreement as you lean forward to look at her.

“Are we… okay?” You test.

Caitlyn sucks in a deep breath. “Why? So that you can feel better about what you did to me? Or so you can talk to me again?”

Your heart sinks at her words, and you shut your eyes, knowing you’re still not in the clear.

And your silence causes Caitlyn to shake her head with a low scoff.

“Cait—”

“I have to go so I’ll-” she stands to her feet, adjusting her ponytail. “I’ll see you around.”

Not a ‘fuck off’ or a ‘never talk to me again’, so you took that as a plus. She’s tolerating you now.

You watch her step down the metal bleachers, with that unsatisfied, hollow feeling still twisting in your chest.

Later that night, you decided to attempt to write your paper for Social Psych class but the only thing clouding your mind was a red haired figment that has been haunting you. You adjust your back, straightening it to release some tension, when you hear your phone vibrate from across the room.

You still haven’t opened your messages from Vi, refraining from giving in. But you know how easy it is for you to fold for her.

Headphones blasting the most depressing music you’ve ever heard, you type away at your keyboard with determination for any sort of distraction. You’re about halfway through when you swear you hear a thump.

Removing one headphone, you pause your movements to search for another sound. And before you put the headphone back in your ear, another thump echoes throughout the dorm.

You think for a moment that it could be Sky, so you remove both headphones and set them on the counter top. You push back on your swivel chair to leave your bedroom and make your way to the front door.

Then it hits you.

Sky’s been home for over an hour now.

You remember as she peeked into your room to ask if you wanted the leftover food from her lunch.

You're standing in front of the door when you hear another louder thump and then a groan. Curious, you lean forward to peer through the peephole.

In the warped view, you see Vi slumped against the door. One of her hands is pinching the bridge of her nose as she releases long and slow breaths.

What the fuck is she doing here?

“Vi?” You call out carefully, as you didn’t want to open the door and have her come in.

Her eyes widen as she pushes herself off of the door with a grunt.

“Hey, uh, can I come in?” Her voice is slow and has a slight slur to it.

You silently curse to yourself as it’s obvious now that Vi is intoxicated.

“How did you get here?” You ask.

Vi sighs as she shakes her head to herself. “I walked here. Got back from a party with the team.”

You blink. “It’s Monday.”

“Yeah, well, what do I have left to lose, y’know?” A weak laugh leaves her lips as she sniffles.

You shut your eyes with a long inhale before unlocking the door. You twist the knob and hesitantly tug the door open, eyes already glazed over threatening tears.

Vi stands upright to appear as sober as possible, but you aren’t blind. She’s sporting a replica of her jersey in a t-shirt form and a pair of baggy jeans.

You both just stare at each other for a moment; neither one of you is brave enough to make a move.

“Can I come in? Please?” Vi’s voice is low and a little raspy, thick with the alcohol she’s been drinking.

A beat passes. Contemplating on whether or not your choice is going to be a good idea or not.

“Yeah.”

You open the door wider and step aside, avoiding her eyes as she steps in. Her movements are lazy and careless as she looks around the space like she hasn’t been here a thousand times. Her cheeks are flushed, eyes glazed over with tears due to her intoxication.

At least, that’s what you tell yourself.

She points around the room with a soft hum. “Did you do something new with the decor or—”

“Vi, what are you doing here?” You cut off her joking manner.

You shut the door with a soft click and stare at her from a distance. Vi sucks in a sharp breath at your question, rubbing her heavy eyes with her thumb and middle finger.

“We ‘ave a project to do still, you know? You can’t-” she slurs slightly, raising her hand to your body that is keeping distance. “You can’t just ignore me out of nowhere for no reason. Ice me out and shit.”

You shut your eyes as you try to compose yourself, shaking your head.

“You know the reason, Violet.”

Vi takes a few steps forward, her pupils blown so wide you swear there’s only the thinnest ring left of that blue, that shade you would drown yourself willingly. Your arms stay wrapped around yourself, not for warmth, but to keep you from reaching out, from giving in to her touch.

“I wish I met you first.” Her voice is laced with misery, as one of her hands reaches for your face.

Your eyes prick with hot tears as you lean into her palm, giving in for a split second. You retract from her touch as if it's scorching, stepping away and walking around her, holding your hands up in defense. Vi sighs as you do so, turning her body to watch you.

“No. No. You can’t just show up to my place drunk and say that shit to me. I fucked up a friendship because of this, Vi.” You express, out of frustration.

Vi blinks and runs a hand over her face. “Because of this? W-What is this?”

You shake your head. She’s drunk and her knees are wobbling just standing in place, you tell yourself. You need to save this conversation for tomorrow.

“I can’t do this when you’re like this, Vi. Just– C’mon, let’s go to bed. You need to sleep.”

Vi takes a heavy step forward.

“I mean, you don’t miss me? Not even a little?” She questions, voice tight and vulnerable.

Your chest hasn’t felt this heavy in your entire life: facing a contradicting narrative over your life.

You sigh and shake your head. “Vi—“

“Because I do miss you. All the time.” She cuts you off, her voice cracking, exposing herself even more.

A deep cry settles in your throat, itching at the base, but you push it down. You can’t let yourself crumble from a few drunken words.

“Vi.”

She sniffles and breaths out a soft sigh, wiping over her dry mouth with one hand. Her eyes find yours as her bottom lip trembles for a second, before sucking in another deep breath.

You’re not sure what to make of the sight in front of you.

Is it real? Is it pathetic or an act of cowardice?

Maybe it’s both.

“Right. Sleep,” she smacks her lips. “I’ll jus’ sleep on the couch,” she waves you off as she attempts to stumble to the couch.

“Vi, please, just take my bed.”

“But where will you sleep?” She questions, blinking slowly at you.

The only thing you respond with is: “It’s a queen.”

Vi hums at that, before shrugging her shoulders, making her way to your bedroom and mumbling nonsense to herself. You follow behind her as you wipe the fallen tear that escaped from your tired eyes. Your eye catches Sky’s bedroom door slightly open and her head peeking out when Vi accidentally hits her hip on your door frame.

“Is that–” She begins to question.

“Yeah. She’s… drunk. I don’t want her going back home like that.”

Sky’s nods simply, seeming to hold back her true feelings about this situation.

“Okay. Just be careful.” Her curls fall a bit in front of her face as she shakes her head, sucking in a deep breath. “Night.”

You frown but nod back. “Night, Sky.”

Her bedroom door shuts with a soft click, making you sit with a bit of silence before walking over to your own bedroom. Stepping into the room, the first thing you see is Vi laying face first into your mattress.

In her outside scented clothes and shoes. Right in the middle.

You huff as you shut your door and lock it, walking over to Vi’s figure.

“Violet. I need to give you a change of clothes.” You tap her rising and falling back, ignoring the way she groans in frustration.

“Why?” She says into the mattress.

You sigh, rubbing your temple. “Because you’re getting your dirty clothes all over my comforter and I don’t want you sleeping in those.”

Vi rolls over on her back with a long grunt, smacking her lips and looking up at you.

“Like dirtier things haven’t been done on this comforter.” She snorts.

You feel your lips twitch into a smile because yeah, she got you there.

“Even so, come on. Stand up.”

Vi reaches for your arms to sit up and hoist off the bed onto her feet. You stare at her as you adjust your grip on her forearms to keep her upright.

“You okay?” You ask as you stare at her to try.

“Yeah, just… wanna lay back down.”

You blow out a laugh at that and shake your head. “Just give me a second and you can lay back down.”

You let go of her gently, turning toward your dresser to dig through the drawer where she used to leave her clothes, back when your routine was all fucking and studying, one bleeding into the other. You ignore the flashing of memories of you two clawing at each other the second you touch the clothes. You pull out one of her old band tees and a pair of joggers, clear your throat, and hold them out.

Her eyes are lazily blinking at you, in a daze like she’s trapped in her mind.

“I’ll turn around. Tell me if you need any help, okay?” You tell her softly.

Vi nods, eyes never leaving yours.

You tear yourself away from her and stand a few feet away with your back to her, wrapping your arms around yourself. A few seconds pass before the rustle of clothing being removed fills the still silence. That time period felt eerily long, Vi makes grunts of struggle but doesn’t ask for your help.

“‘M good.” Vi tells you after five minutes.

You turn to see her in the changed attire, her shoes now placed under your desk. She yawns and rubs a hand over her face.

“Okay, just give me a second. You can… go ahead and sleep, Vi.” You wave for her to lay back down.

Vi stares at you, eyes flickering over every inch of you. You suck in a deep breath at the intensity.

“You’re always beautiful, y’know?” She mutters before laying down with a grunt.

Jesus.

You refuse to acknowledge it for both of your sakes and watch her shut her eyes, relaxing into the mattress. You leave the bedroom for a second to enter the bathroom, shutting the door with a shuddering breath.

You need to recollect yourself before you face her again. You’re hoping she’ll be dead asleep by the time you come out.

Grabbing painkillers and nausea relievers, you tug the bathroom door open again to go to your bedroom again. Your eyes find Vi’s snuggled up body underneath the comforter now, her eyes shut and soft sighs leaving her lips.

A breath of relief leaves your mouth as you set the bottles on your bedside table, looking at her now relaxed figure.

Careful not to wake her, you shut off your lamp and lift the comforter and sheet to lay down next to her, your back to her. You believe she’s asleep until you hear her whisper in the dark.

“I promise ‘m not gonna throw up on you.”

You release a light chuckle at that.

“Violet, go to sleep.” You hum. “And you better not.”

Another minute of silence.

“Can I tell you somethin’? Before we go to bed?”

You hold back your irritated sigh, needing this sleep for you now.

“Yeah?”

Vi’s silent again, and you think she’s knocked out before she can get other words out. A trembling sigh leaves her lips before she mutters.

“I never liked Caitlyn,” she mutters with a long exhale. “But I like you so much… and I hate that I can’t fuckin’ say it when I’m sober.”

Neither of you move a muscle. A heavy silence falls over the moonlit room.

You open your mouth for a second before shutting it, knowing nothing you could say would make this situation any better. You purse your lips as you hear Vi shift from behind you, eyes prickling with emotional tears.

She’s quiet. She’s asleep.

You fall asleep next to her at last, your pillow damp with quiet tears. Hers is no different. Stained with guilt, softened by the weight of what neither of you can say.

TAGLIST: @korn-dawg @sawaagyapong @unear7hly @leeidk87 @childishname @ferxanda @whisperingcherub @rad-radical2 @strawb4kdior @natscloset @aliendustpee @satorix @rosieeteaa @moodient @mars4hellokitty @klallx @skzvilleshi @drunkenrosesluv @fairexy78 @angelynn-nicole @sevikas-baby @milanyas @jajsnjz @oatmatchalatte @laceyxrenee @kmhbygss @ariariarr @ghostlyvoidydragon @talyaisvalslutsoldier @miajooz @kitty-kei @jivimatcha @orchidprincesss @ilahrawr @morticeras @g4ys0n

[that-weird-thing-in-the-woods]

:) you all know what time it isssss

Danny Al-ghul

But not in the way you would think. So the Fentons find out about Danny being phantom (catching him changing or something) and {this is a Bad Fenton Au so we gonna traumatizing the fuck out of this boy} and they experiment and torture him for a few weeks to a month in this time frame Jazz, Sam and Tucker have died and have not come back as ghost due to dying by a ghost blaster ( hint hint )

And Danny eventually die (fully this time) due to torture and starvation (They didn’t think ‘Ghost’ needed to eat) and when Danny died he gets yeeted into a part of the Zone no one goes to and when I say no one I mean NO ONE and eventually crashes into it

And now into a bit into this part of The Zone it is actually The Home of the dead Al-ghuls and their assassins + some pit demons but they aren’t really that conscious…I guess I mean they move around and sometimes talk or well scream because they are infected by The Madness (Pit Rage) and kinda act like obsessiveness ghost…oh I never explained what that was well I do it in the next post or something but for the time it just means feral and more animalistic than a normal ghost would be

So basically Danny crash landed into a feral Pit {you see what I did there} and after some shenanigans and shit the dead and Feral Al-ghuls kinda just accepted into the family I mean the past tense assassins and the younger dead Al-ghuls listen to them so he’s a part of them now

And if you were to ask one of the Al-ghuls ( If they were sane enough for that ) they would basically say

=====================================

“Yeah that Danny we don’t know who’s kid he is and he’s not really into the hole assassin thing and he’s far to soft to be an Al-ghul but he heals us and takes care of the younger ones so he’s part of the family and no one’s going to take him away” * proceeds to rip out the core of the ghost who asks and eats it or brings it to Danny because he eats less than everyone else ( he doesn’t he just doesn’t eat fucking CORES)*

=====================================

What I mean about healing them is that Danny constantly carries around a never ending black marble bowl { like in my Snake Empress Au } of the purest ecto you can have ( Clockwork gave it to him for helping the Ferals and the LOLS by the misunderstandings from the future you’ll give it in a sec ) and when ghost are feral instead of cuts and stuff they break and crack like a porcelain doll or something else that cracks that like that and pours a bit into the crack/break

——————————————————————————

Now onto the DC part of this! So while Tim was looking for Bruce in the timestream {like in my Void and Prism Au} and somehow ends up in front of a giant temple like building that is surrounded by multiple lagoons and lakes of Lazarus pits ( and that a bit concerning in itself ) and as Tim walks in he hears footsteps and the pulling of fabric on the ground so he turns around not really knowing what to expect but he was most definitely not expecting the most beautiful boy he’s ever seen but what caught his attention is the black marble bowl that has the purest Lazarus water he’s ever seen and a few shenanigans and a get together later Tim is now dating this ethereal, beautiful, kind he should probably stop while he’s ahead before he goes on for hours {So basically Tim is down bad for our little ghost boy} who so happens to an Al-ghul and Danny helps Tim find Bruce but Danny makes Tim promise to keep in contact ( which Tim was going to do anyway and not to mention Danny’s literal Amy of Feral Al-ghuls/assassins/pit demons who will kill him and than hunt him in death for his core to give to Danny as a trophy and just for the LOLS let’s have everyone misunderstand that Danny is an Al-ghul )

So a few years later Tim and Danny are still in contact and Tim is still down bad but he still hasn’t told everybody about it until one day the Batfam fucks up and Tim fucks off to The Ghost Zone back to his boyfriend ( possible fiancé but still hasn’t told anyone)

=====================================

The JL-JLD: running around like headless chickens

The Batfam: Much angst

Tim and Danny: chilling out and being in love and shit

====================================

And now on to the details of this!

For Danny’s outfit I’m thinking something like this

And he’s wearing some jewelry like this

And for hair

also here is a pic of the black marble bowl ( it is the same in my Snake empress au and in this )

=====================================

nd that’s about it about this au and I hope you guys like it tell me if you want to see more of this byeeeee

[keeryhours]

the needle and the damage done - chapter five

Older! Rockstar! Eddie Munson x female! reader

Main Masterlist

Series Masterlist

Eddie Munson Masterlist

Join Taglist (if you’re on the list from a comment but haven’t filled this out, please do so!)

Summary:

The aftermath.

Warnings:

(18+) drugs, talk of overdose, pregnancy, angst, mention of CPS

Word Count: 3.5k

A/N:

So sorry for the late update! But I hope you enjoy this chapter <3

“Roz? I need you. Eddie OD’d. They took him. I don’t know if he…I don’t know if he’s okay. He didn’t look okay. I need you. I’m with the girls…we’re okay.” You whispered the next part - “Rhi saw.”

You didn’t go to the hospital right away. You weren’t sure if you were going to go at all. You called Wayne, sobbing into the phone - “He overdosed. Yeah. No, he’s…he’s alive. I thought he was dead, Wayne. We need you.”

Wayne was on the first flight to California. The girls were excited to see him, but Rhiannon hadn’t been the same since that night. You arranged a therapist for her, but she hadn’t been yet. It broke your heart that she had been traumatized so severely - you always swore you would protect her, all your kids. You had failed.

You had been having early contractions, too. An emergency visit to the doctor told you it was due to stress. You were terrified all of this would push you into early labor - you knew the emotions you’d been going through were bad for the baby, but it’s like it was never ending.

Ultimately, you decided not to go to the hospital at all. After you sat with it, after you knew he was going to be okay, you were angry. How could he do this? How could he do this to you, to the girls? To Rhiannon?

CPS was now involved, knocking on your door for random home visits and drug tests. They spoke to the girls, who talked of a great life with two loving parents and a dad who’s just sick a lot of the time. Rhiannon said nothing, just clung to Evie’s hand like a lifeline.

Whether you liked it or not, your life had changed. Eddie’s decisions had changed all of your lives in a big way. And all you could do was ride through it, hoping to make it to the other side intact and together.

When Eddie woke up in the hospital, he had a pounding headache. He felt like he was in the world’s worst hangover, like he woke up smack in the middle of the worst withdrawals of his life.

It was immediately obvious he was in a hospital, with the IV in his track marked arm and the gown on his body. He looked around, seeing the room empty except for Gareth, who sat on the couch, watching the TV.

“Gar…” Eddie started, needing to clear his throat. “Gareth?”

Gareth turned towards the bed. The look on his face was unreadable, but it wasn’t relief. “Eddie,” Gareth stated as he stood and walked to his bedside.

“What…what happened?”

Gareth pursed his lips, like he was figuring out whether to sugarcoat this or not. “You overdosed, man. On fentanyl and heroin.”

Eddie’s heart hammered in his chest. He looked down at his body, like he couldn’t believe he was still alive. “Oh, jesus.”

“Yeah,” Gareth agreed. Eddie could tell the severity of just how bad he had fucked up by the anger clearly written on Gareth’s face. And the absence of you.

“Where’s my family?” He asked, needing to know the answer to that question more than he needed to breathe. “Where are my girls?”

Gareth took a slow seat in the chair next to Eddie’s bed, and his heart sunk. “Look, man,” he started. He looked like he was arranging the words in his head before he spoke. “You…I mean shit, dude, you fucked up really bad.”

Eddie’s whole body felt cold. “What…what did I do?”

“You overdosed on the bathroom floor at home,” he said, “She had to find you like that.”

Eddie’s heart clenched in his chest. “Fuck,” he whispered, tears welling in his big brown eyes.

“And Rhiannon saw.”

That was the final hit for Eddie. His lips parted as the tears fell, and even through his anger, Gareth felt terrible for his best friend. He wanted to wrap him in a hug, but he still wanted to fucking strangle him himself.

“Jesus Christ,” Eddie whispered, his voice hoarse. “Is she…”

“She’s pretty fucked up about it to be honest with you, man,” he said, running a hand through his brown curls. “They all are.”

“And they haven’t come here,” Eddie said. It wasn’t a question.

Gareth met his eyes. “No.”

The brutal honest truth was that in that moment, Eddie wanted to die. He wished the overdose had actually taken him, had actually erased his miserable existence from this planet as a favor to his family and friends. Because he did not deserve to be here right now, and he did not want to be here right now. He knew his wife and kids probably never wanted to see him again. And how could he blame them?

Eddie sobbed. He felt as if he was seeing his life laid out in the harsh hospital lighting, everything ugly about it laid bare for him to face head on right now. Right fucking now, and he feels like he’s drowning in it.

Gareth finally sat on the bed next to him, wrapping an arm around his friend. “Ed…” His voice cracked, the sight of his lifelong best friend so utterly broken doing something horrible to his own chest. Eddie curled into Gareth’s embrace like a child, crying his eyes out like a man who knew he’d lost everything.

“Mama.”

“Yes?” You looked at your oldest with eyebrows raised, a hand on your 23 week baby bump. You had been put on bed rest, so Wayne was staying and Roz had practically moved herself in, too.

“Can me and Rhiannon go to the park?” She asked, a hopeful sparkle in her eye.

“Does Rhiannon want to go to the park?” You asked the true question, hoping with all your chest that the answer was yes.

Evie’s smile dropped. “Well, no, she didn’t say that. I just thought it might make her smile.”

You smiled tenderly at your daughter - always the carer, always empathetic and watching over her siblings. So mature for 10 years old. She’s had to grow up too fast. You failed her in that way. You failed your kids in a lot of ways.

“I know you want Rhi to feel better,” you told her, stroking her brown curls. “You can ask her if she wants to go, but don’t push her if she doesn’t. And take Auntie Roz with you if you go.”

Evie nodded, her smile back on her face. “Okay, mama.” 

You watched her hop out of your bedroom, and then you were left alone in your depression pit of a bedroom once again. HGTV reruns played on the TV, your hand lazily rubbing your belly. At least you weren’t completely alone.

“You okay?” A voice asked from the doorway.

You turned and smiled at Roz, patting the bed for her to join you. She sat next to you, leaning back on your pillows together.

“Not really,” you admitted. “My husband OD’d and almost died, but I can’t bring myself to go see him. My daughter is traumatized for life and her sisters are desperate to help. I’m huge and sore and stuck in bed 24 hours a day. Things couldn’t be better.”

Roz smiled at you sadly before she laid her head on your shoulder. “Things will get better. I know that sounds like a stupid, pointless thing to say, but it’s true.”

You chewed the inside of your lip. “Do you think I should talk to him?”

Roz sighed. “I wish I could answer that for you, but I don’t think I can.”

“He’s my husband,” you said. “I love him more than life. The love I feel for him and our kids is more than I ever thought I could feel.”

“I think maybe you’re answering your own question,” Roz said.

“But he can’t keep hurting us like this.”

Roz looked at you with sympathy. It didn’t bug you as much when she did it. “He can’t.”

“He has to go to rehab again. Or something. But it didn’t help the first time obviously, so who knows.” You sighed, covering your face with your hands as tears threatened to fall. You’d done enough crying for the whole year at this point. “I just don’t know what to do. I want him to stop. I need him to stop.”

“I know, I know,” Roz whispered soothingly as she held you. She stroked your hair with one hand, the other wrapped around your body.

When you spoke next, your voice was weak and small. “I want my Eddie back.”

“I know,” she said again. “I want him back, too.”

Being in the hospital was lonely. Eddie didn’t get many visitors. He longed to see you, but he knew you weren’t coming. He had fucked up too many times, too severely.

When he heard his hospital room door open, he assumed it was a nurse for the millionth time. But at the familiar sound of a man clearing his throat, Eddie looked up, his face immediately lighting up.

“Wayne,” Eddie said. “I…I didn’t even know you were in town.”

Hearing your name out loud from his lips only made his heart ache even worse. “She called me to come help with the girls. Told me what happened.”

Eddie looked as ashamed as he felt. “Wayne-“

“Son, listen,” Wayne said, sitting next to his nephew on the hospital bed. “You’ve made a real mess, you know that?”

Eddie looked down at his hands. The marks covering his arms. “I know.”

“I just…” Wayne sighed wearily, like he was letting out years of frustration. “I don’t get it, Ed. You have - had -  everything you could dream of. The career you always wanted, the girl you always loved, three beautiful children and another on the way. Great friends. Loving family.”

Eddie knew his words were true, and the guilt only gnawed at him deeper.

“I guess I just don’t understand,” Wayne continued. “How you could throw all that away just for some dope.”

“I don’t know, man,” Eddie said, squeezing his eyes shut as tears fell anyway. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

Wayne softened. “You know there’s a way out, right? Like in those choose your own adventure games you used to play. There’s an ending where you get clean and have your family back and find happiness. And there’s an ending where you keep using, lose it all, and end up alone.”

Eddie knew his uncle’s harsh words were true. It was in his hands entirely. So how did he keep fucking it up so bad?

“I know,” he said. “I want the good ending. I want my family back. I want the band back. I want to make music and laugh with my friends and hug my kids and kiss my wife.” Eddie sounded utterly dejected when he spoke, like he had already given up.

“You can have that,” Wayne promised him. “You can quit. You can turn this shit around.”

Eddie shook his head. “You have no idea what it’s like,” he said, utter despair in his voice, his mouth dry. “The pull. It’s like it’s impossible to resist. I did the shit one time, one time, and I haven’t gone a minute without thinking of it since.”

He was breaking Wayne’s heart. “People do it, Ed. You could do it. You could put this behind you.” Wayne’s voice cracked, and it only fractured Eddie’s heart even more. He’s never heard Wayne cry before. “Do you know what it felt like to get that phone call?”

Eddie said nothing.

“It was like…” Wayne scoffed, rubbing the skin between his eyes. “You’re my boy. Hearing what you’d done to yourself, to your girls…it made me sick.”

Eddie covered his face with both hands. “I’m so sorry.”

“I know you are, Ed.” Wayne placed a hand on Eddie’s slender back. Too slender these days. “If you don’t think anyone believes in you, I do. I’ve seen what you can pull yourself out of. I’ve seen your strength. You’re a strong man. A good man. Please don’t let your family down.”

Eddie nodded. “I won’t. I won’t ever again.”

Wayne smiled softly at him. “You’ve got this baby boy to think of now, too, Ed.”

Butterflies took flight in his stomach as he thought of his unborn son. Four kids. He never saw himself as a father, but the day you told him you were pregnant everything shifted. He couldn’t imagine anything better. He was so lucky, and so stupid.

“I want to be a good father to him,” Eddie said. “To my girls.”

“You have been. And you will be again. Put all this behind you now. Let this be one child that never has to face seeing you this way.”

Eddie nodded. Wayne was right. He could do this, and he would do it. His kids needed him.

“I’m going to go back to rehab,” Eddie said. “A different rehab.”

“I think that’s a good idea.”

“I don’t know if I was serious about it last time,” he admitted. “But I am now. I almost fuckin’ died, Wayne.”

“I know,” he said, an arm around Eddie’s shoulders. “But you’re serious this time. And you’re gonna do it.”

Wayne was right.

He was going to do this.

Eddie sat on the side of his hospital bed, pulling his shoes on. He was already dressed back in a clean pair of jeans and a t-shirt, hair pulled back in a low ponytail. He was finally being discharged from the hospital, but there was no joy behind it. He didn’t even know where he was going. Gareth was supposed to come pick him up. He’d been looking at a few rehabs.

The sound of his door opening caught Eddie’s attention, his head turning in that direction. His breath caught in his chest when he saw you walking into the room, dressed in a pair of maternity jeans you bought when you were pregnant with Ivy, a sweater hugging your body and showing off the belly. Eddie barely resisted the urge to reach out and touch you.

“Baby,” he breathed instead. He didn’t know what else to say. He wanted to reach for you, for you to take him into your arms and hold him until he truly believed everything would be alright.

You slowly walked over and took a seat in the chair across from him. “Eddie…”

“Baby, I’m so sorry,” Eddie said, reaching forward and grasping your hands in his in a moment of vulnerability. “I am so…god, there’s not enough words I can say. I don’t know if I can ever make this right. But I want you to know I’m going to try to for the rest of my life. I love you. I love our girls. I love our son and want to be here to meet him. I want to be with you. I want to be with my family.”

You pulled from his grasp and wiped tears away with the back of your hand, trying your hardest to keep it together. “Eddie…this was…it was the worst thing that’s ever happened to me. I’ve never been so scared in my life. I had never felt like a bigger failure of a mother. I thought I was going to lose you for good and Rhiannon was going to witness her father dying.”

Eddie’s hands shook as he listened to you, the guilt eating him alive. “I am so sorry. I know that’s not enough. But I was a complete idiot. I want to get better. I want to be better for you and our family.”

“You can’t want to get clean for us,” you said, meeting his eyes determinedly. “You have to actually want it for yourself. As long as you’re trying to do this for us while still dreaming about getting high, texting your dealer and sneaking around, it’s never going to work.”

Eddie nodded. “Yeah, I…I know. I want it. I want to be better. Please, baby, I need you to believe me.” He grabbed your hands again, desperation shining in his doe eyes. “Please, I can’t…I can’t lose you or the kids. I couldn’t handle that. Please believe me. Please give me another chance.”

Tears were properly falling now, sniffling as you tried to get yourself together. You had promised yourself you wouldn’t cry in front of him today. You were done crying.

“I’m supposed to be on bed rest,” you said randomly, gesturing to the bump.

Eddie’s expression morphed into concern. “You need to get home then. Can I take you home?”

You thought. “Yeah.”

Eddie picked up his small bag. “Let me take you home.”

You followed Eddie out to the parking lot, to where your car was parked. He took the keys from you and unlocked it, getting into the driver’s seat as you carefully lowered yourself into the other side.

“You’re so stubborn,” he said, shaking his head with a smile.

“I didn’t know if I wanted to see you,” you admitted. “I wasn’t going to come.”

A beat of silence as Eddie pulled onto the road. “Why did you?”

“Because I love you?” you offer, although you don’t know the reason yourself. “Because I miss you? Worry about you? Couldn’t stand the thought of you sad and alone for another second.”

Eddie softens. He reached over and took your hand. When he pulled up into the large driveway, neither of you moved.

“I don’t think you should come in,” you said. The words stung Eddie, but he wasn’t exactly surprised. “I just don’t think it’s the right time. The girls…”

Eddie nodded. “Yeah, I get it. Um…tell them I love them and miss them?”

“Okay,” you agreed. You still didn’t move. Eddie gave you the time you needed, not pushing you to say or do more. “I love you, Eddie. If you’re serious about being done, and you go back to rehab and show us, maybe…maybe we can work on things.”

“You mean that?” he asks, desperate for the hope to hold onto but unable to blame you if you never wanted to see him again.

“Yes,” you said, and he could tell you were being genuine. He gave you the softest smile that you returned with a halfhearted one. Finally you moved for the door.

“Gareth can bring me to drop the car back off tomorrow,” he said. “If that’s okay.”

“It’s fine.” You looked at the front door of the large house, then back to Eddie. “Please take care of yourself.”

“I will,” he said, and it was a promise. You took it, held onto it.

Eddie watched you walk up the drive and to the front door, letting yourself inside. One of the girls ran and hugged you around the legs, which made you smile down at her. Eddie wanted to be there more than he’d ever wanted anything.

He drove to Gareth’s, feeling sad but with some hope deep inside. He pushed away that nagging feeling tugging at the edges of his mind, wouldn’t things be much better if we just got high about it?

He made it to Gareth’s successfully, without stopping for a drug-related detour or driving his life right off the rails again. It was a small victory, hopefully the first of many.

Gareth and Roz were inside, both greeting Eddie with a hug. The amount of forgiveness he was being shown was blowing his mind. It helped that he seemed open to genuine change, like he was really ready to put the drugs behind him. It’s what everyone wanted to believe.

Eddie made himself comfortable in Gareth’s guest bedroom that night, showering before changing into a pair of boxers and sweatpants hanging low on his hips. He rubbed his hand over his face as he climbed into the soft bed. It was comfortable, but he couldn’t be satisfied without you in bed with him.

He picked his cell phone up from the bedside table. He dialed the number with one press of a button, the most familiar and most used number in his phone. It rang a couple times before your sleepy voice answered.

“Eddie?”

“Hi, baby girl,” he said, voice low.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” he said. “I just…wanted to hear your voice. I miss you.”

It was quiet over the line for a moment, nothing but the crackling of the connection. “I miss you too, Eds.”

“I want to come home to you so bad,” he admitted in the cover of the darkness. It was easier when he couldn’t see your face, couldn’t see the pain and betrayal written there.

“I know,” you said. “I want you to come home, too.”

“Can’t I?” he said, and he felt like a child begging for something he knew he couldn’t have.

“Eddie, it’s just…not yet,” you said. “I’m not ready. We’re not ready.”

Eddie nodded, even though you couldn’t see him. “I know. I know. I promise I understand.”

“But…” you started. “If we see you working hard, you know, it helps to build up that trust.”

“You will see that,” he promised you quickly. “I swear to you.”

“Then show me,” you said. “Please, Eddie. Show me.”

“I’ll show you,” he said. And he meant that with every fiber of his being. He was going to get better for you, and the kids, and Wayne, and his friends and band, and himself. He had never been more sure of anything in his life.

tag list

@kellsck @birdysaturne @emxxblog @iheartgrayson @ali-r3n @kthomps914 @mewchiili @browneyes528 @avobabe87 @themorriganisamonster @costellation-hunter @micheledawn1975 @wildflowerwattpad0217 @punkrockmlchael @avenjames-anderson @toomuchbucky @fandomsearcherforcuntymen @stylesxmunson @foreveranexpatsposts @losingmygrasponreality @mrsjellymunson @edsforehead @arabellagreenleaf @littlemissholy @fortheunsungheros @highinmiamiii @jeangeniex

[umbrelladripdrop]

DPxDC Idea 2

This one I've actually attempted to write at one point but only got a lil over a chapter done before I moved on and while I do want to write it, I'm also being realistic when I say I probably won't so for a compromise I'll post it here:

Basicly after DP canon has run its course (sans phantom planet obviously) Danny is just chilling with Sam and Tucker when suddenly there's a snag in the conversation that Danny just can't handle. They've all been working together and been there for each other through all the crazy that's happened after the 'portal incident', but at the same time, Sam and Tucker, and even Jazz, can't quite be there for Danny for everything. More specifically, when it comes to the fact that Danny actually died and the effects that has on him.

In my attempt at a fic it came up with Danny complaining to Sam and Tucker about Jazz being overprotective, even if she has been getting better at not being so bad about it all the time, and Sam ends up actually agreeing with Jazz. The friction comes from Sam and Tucker saying how they wish Danny didn't have to be a hero which hurts Danny because he needs to help, he needs to protect the town, and yet his friends are saying that they wish he didn't. It's a bit of a miscommunication sure, but it's also that Sam and Tucker just can't get it and Danny does eventually realize this but not before he storms off and flies all across town.

And on that flight, is where he says those dreaded words:

"I wish that I could just- just talk to someone who understands for once!"

And *boop*! In a sparkle of green dust pops out a real confused Red Hood stranded on a rooftop that has now been thouraly left in Danny's dust as the teen said the words while flying at least 100 miles an hour and therefore did not see the sudden appearance of a person who was not there five seconds ago.

Yep, Desiree is here but literally only for plot stuff as she's the jumping-off point for this fic. She's like the 'big bad' if you want to call her that, but only because they need to fight and defeat her to undo the spell but other than that this would be a pretty chill fic with some nice Jason and Danny (and even Tim and Danny) bonding and shenanigans.

The premise is that, after this wish and first instance of Danny accidentally summoning someone, it keeps happening. After Jason finally meets up with Danny (Red Hood finds himself in a new area so after like a day or two of research and no contact with the bats [ghostly/GIW caused radio black out or something] he does the smart thing and seeks out the towns resident hero) he gets flashes of why he's here and now he knows he's here cause both he and the kid share the experience of death so yeah he's helping this kid now. After that he and Danny (and Tucker and Sam cause they all made up now) find out that anytime Danny states a fact about his life that's weird or slightly traumatizing, he ends up summoning someone who shares that experience with him. Some examples/possibilities I came up with are:

"Who else fights eldrich horrors and what are essentially God's on the regular?" Cue John Constantine popping up, taking one look at Danny, and giving an emphatic fuck this and teleporting out.

"Well- uh- I bet no one else has had their DNA stolen by a freaky billionaire who's weirdly obsessed with them and then cloned them!" Cue Clark showing up frazzled until he sees Jason and just sighs in acceptance of the Weird Bat Shit.

"No! I refuse! There's no way in hell that someone's had to go and fight their future evil self because they came back in time to stop me from making it so their timeline never comes to pass!" Oh and now Tim is here, now him and Jason can start planin on how to fix this mess (and Tim and Danny can start to be friends too. All the bat bonding).

Those are just the first few back to back ones that Danny spews out in his denial that this is even happening after that initial meet up and explination with Jason. Clark ends up dipping with a promise to tell Bruce that Jason and Tim are alright an are just on a mission now I guess, they're not stuck since both Clark and Constantine could leave but it's not like they were just gonna let this shit slide, so yeah they're staying to help out.

Cue plot/shenanigans/accidentally trauma dumping since the spell makes Danny more suseptible to spewing his guts that way the spell can work more by summoning more people. The summons are based off proximity in a sense because they pull in the person closest that can relate to whatever Danny said.

This leads to Jason and Tim end up getting re-summoned again with a few other points like:

"Getting kidnaped by some old creep on the regular is not a fun time." Tim gets teleported back to Danny and they just... stare at each other because didn't this already happen? Aka this is when they figure out the summoning can apparently stack.

"Yeah like I was supposed to know that getting kidnapped by a ‘father figure’ for ‘my own good’ and wanting to strangle said father figure on multiple occasions was a universal experience." Jason who was sitting in a chair ten feet away is now only two feet away and no longer sitting in a chair and falls to the ground with a waterfall of swears.

"None of you get what it's like to have an older sibling as overbearing as jazz!"Jason teleports again and absolutely flips his shit and goes to fucking gag the twirp because this is the third god damned time Danny!

After Jason's 3rd teleportation, they pause the search for what's happening in favor of trying to figure out why he seems incapable of keeping his mouth shut. Literally. Even Danny says that he doesn't know why he's saying all this. They head down to the lab, which leads to this:

"Oh yeah we can go down here all the time, comes with the territory of borderline neglectful parents." Tim who wasn't on the stairs is suddenly now on the stairs (Jazz was leading the way and therefore farther away) and tips head over tea kettle which makes Jason laugh his ass off all while going how does it feel now?!

There's a potential for so many more summonings and accidentally trauma dumping shenanigans/emotional comfort opportunities but these were just all the ones I could come up with.

The day is eventually saved when they trick Desiree back but Jason and Tim end up staying in touch with Danny and end off with everyone being friends cause I'm a sucker for good endings and fluff. Again I might get to making this an actual fic but I'm already working on a big one (and slacking on it a bit my bad) so who knows? But I at least wanted to get the idea out there somewhere in case someone else wanted to play with the idea.

[jkg2197]

Do you ever wonder how low level villain and thieves and goons or just general population of Gotham felt when they saw #3robin pulling batman away from them than calm the victim while still lecturing batman about the fuck he is doing traumatizing other or shit!!!! Like just last month so many thieves/pickpocketer were left in urgent care(which Tim was paying for) and then suddenly this new robin comes and he is pulling batman getting in his way before he gets too far and then helping the victim as well as villain in the process. All of Gotham would have collectively took a breath of relief and thank the god for the kid who saved them. Like just imagine after learning that robin beat the shit out of Joker that one time, and just knew that this one will be safe as he can be. I just imagine that Gotham would love 3rd robin so much for keeping them safe and their protector from breaking after the aftermath of previous robin.

I imagine when robin was alone fighting someone like crane or something the goons would be like 'yeah we don't want to fight him man' 'he saved us from permanent injuries' 'do you want to step in his way he is really good with that bo staff and if he doesn't have that than he verbally demolishes us man, last time someone got a hit on him he made him question his whole life. And don't you remember jake he read his whole life to him while beating him it was brutal.' 'hey!!! If anything happens to him we don't know what we will be facing with. It could be anyone from a civilian to batman to villains(I saw him eating chilli dogs with red hood so many times/ he was helping Harley with her thing once/ saw him with Ivy she was telling him about something I did not understand but sounded really educational/ oh cat Catwoman loves that kid so much you should see when they meet up(one time I heard him call her mom) and we don't want to see what happens man one time was enough. Last time Nightwing almost killed Joker and Superman had to stop Batman from kill him and then this Robin I don't think anyone will stop them this time and I don't want to know.'/ even Riddler likes him man!!'

Like Robin (Tim) is the perfect robin for not just batman but for Gotham as well. this is the Robin that Gotham needed at its darkest moment and he stepped up for that role. Tim already knew what was needed to be Robin he was there from the very beginning, from the fall of flying Grayson's to the death of Robin. He saw what robin as a figure did for people of Gotham he saw how Jason's robin helped the people in Gotham he saw what kind of fear Dick's robin put in the villain's of Gotham. He saw all of it. He was there for everything that Robin brought to Gotham. And he knew the streets of Gotham like the back of his hand. He saw the people when he was stalking batman and robin. He saw what the people needed as well. He was out there on the streets of Gotham from a very young age. No one can say that he wouldn't help the street kids with foods or cold, he had the means and the heart for it. Tim would have always become something that the city needed even if in someway it wasn't robin he would have done still be something to help other. That's who he really is someone who wanted to help most like Bruce but still very different. Where Bruce didn't want what happened to him to happen to anyone. Tim just did what he thinks is right and what he should do and just does it. If Bruce's parents weren't murdered he could have been what Tim is. He is the hope for Gotham.

Gotham would love the Red Robin too. When they see him come back after a year gap from being Robin to Red Robin. They would have been so worried about him when they saw a new robin but didn't see any new heros name for a whole year and then he is back..... Like it would possibly be like -

Goon1- hey! Hey! Hey! I saw a new hero.

Other goons all groans

Goon2- agh!! Another one. Man I hate this!!!

Goon3- great 🙄😒

Goon4- aaawwwwww man!!

Goon1- no no no. This is good news.

Goon3- how can this be good news this is a disaster!!! Now we need to see what this one can do.

Goon2- seriously. So many heroes. Why can't we do crimes in peace???

Goon4- you know what I think that job offer for WE sounds so good right now.

Goon1- no no listen. This one has a bo staff!!!!✨✨✨✨

Goons- WHAT!!!!!!!!!

Goons- ROBIN'S BACK !!!!!!!!!!!! *They jumped with hands in the air*

Goon1- YES!!!!!! He bruised my ribs while he took down the scarecrow. It was beautiful. 🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩

Goon4- oh man I refuse to go today and he comes back.

Goon3- man I was fighting with the new robin.

Goon2- oh man I missed all the fun. Nightwing knocked me out before anything even happened.

Goon3- tell us more what's his new name. His costume and was he ok!!!!!!!🫣

Goon1- he came out of nowhere. Scared the scarecrow into tripping over himself before scarecrow even had time to react and knocked him out. No one was ready for it I didn't even realise this was the previous robin until the other start attacking him. He invaded all of our attacks and when he took out his bo staff I froze and he kicked me out. But other didn't really have that much time either half of us were down because we froze other that were new one still tried to attach got knocked unconscious. He told us to get out because police was just 3 minutes away and then he disappeared just like he did before. So we just ran but we couldn't take the one who were unconscious but the rest of us ran away.

I don't know his name but he is in red costume now.

Goons hanging one goon1's words like they were stars.

Goon4- I'll ask around about the name and spread the news the 3rd Robin is back with new name and everything. Everyone would be so relieved.

Goon3- yeah he had us worried man what the hell. Last year was a different kind of disaster.

Goon2- yeah there was this tension in the air but I couldn't put a finger on it. But it's good to know the kid's ok. Hey isn't this the first time we saw Nightwing after such a long time. Wonder if they had gone together somewhere again like the space or something.

Goon1- yeah I was also surprised when I heard them saying Nightwing before 3rd Robin got the drop on us. I thought I heard it wrong.

Goon4- did he make a bad pun while he knocked you out.

Goon2- yeah!! Man he is cringe. Like com'on man. He has been doing this for years now one would this he'll run out of ideas.

Goon3- at least his laugh has changed from his Robin days. *Shudders*

Other goons shudders as well.

[sadistic-kitty5601]

I JUST WATCHED THUNDERBOLTS—WHY IS EVERYONE HATING ON JOHN WALKER??! He’s literally so complex and cool, so let’s have passionate, hot sex with him!

Warning!!!—Porn with plot, m!sub John Walker, steamy, buildup—also, sorry for not posting, I haven’t had much passion!😭

You were a merc, a skilled one at that. Your kill count was like no other, being raised in a hardcore camp. It wasn’t like Yelena’s, but quite similar. The brutality, the training—ugh, it was traumatic, to say the least. However, at least it gave some character development? You were strong, independent, understanding, and respected. Your strength was like no other, your speed couldn’t be competed with, and your intelligence couldn’t be outsmarted. Now, you getting to the Thunderbolts was, well, quite a bumpy ride. See, you were in…I guess a little contact with Alexei? You’ve met him on some missions, so he was familiar with you..kinda. So, when he joined the team, he suggested you’d be a great asset—and don’t even get me started on teaching you down and convincing you to be apart of the team..

Anyway, this was how you and THE John Walker met. He was…God, he was just himself—insecure, aggressive, you name it. The team really didn’t like him, though. You never flat out insulted him or made fun of him like Yelena and Ava did…well, okay, maybe you teased him a little—but hey, you kept it real. You weren’t one to take shit, that’s for sure. Any time he’d insult your position, you’d snap back, not with an insult but with a blunt and..honest comment. Yeah, he didn’t like it, but at least he wasn’t being bullied?

In all, y’all’s relationship wasn’t the BEST..you two were often butting heads or bickering over who’s right. You didn’t actually think you cared about each other…right? It’d never come down to that, right?

Welp, Sentry came along and getting thrown around like rag dolls didn’t feel good, neither did The Void randomly coming out.

During the battle, you got hurt..like, really hurt. You had gotten a huge gash on your abdomen—you didn’t even know from what, you were so disoriented from the blood loss. You coughed, holding your stomach as you limped to somewhere you could at least sit at, finding a big concrete slab. You slumped with a grunt. The thoughts flooding your head weren’t good either because you weren’t even concerned for yourself, just..thrown for a loop—“Have I really gotten that weak?”, “What’s happening?”, “Where is everyone?”—Then, your thoughts were interrupted..interrupted by a pair of roughed, panicked hands.

Who was it?

“Stay with me now, Y/N..”

Oh, you know it is. Good ol’ John.

“You’re not exactly—cough..my first choice for rescue..” You rasped out, your eyes trying to adjust as your vision blurred in and out.

“Yeah, well—“ John hurriedly placed his shield on his back, grabbing the field kit on his belt. “—Looks like I’m your only choice,” He pressed some gauze on the wound before wrapping it tightly with bandages. “You’re lucky I got here when I did,” He let out a shaky exhale, applying some firm pressure to the wound.

“You’re only doing this ‘cause I’m an asset..aren’t you?” You grunted in pain, wincing.

That’s when John just looked at you—no, like, REALLY looked at you. There wasn’t that tough mask he always wore, this was raw. His jaw clenched as he stared into your eyes. “No, I’m doing this because I need you to stop bleeding out on me,”

That was real. He wasn’t doing this to get approval, to win some invisible metal—no, he was doing this because he didn’t wanna lose you. You shut up and just..nodded. You got it.

_________________________________________

After everything was settled, things got better. Your wound eventually healed after some treatment and time. And during that time, John was surprisingly a little more careful with you. You’d even see him check up on you, leaning on the doorway. He thought you were asleep, but you weren’t. It was nice. To be honest, it helped you see another side to him, a nicer, more genuine one. You liked it. I mean, I guess you always knew he had a good heart, but this made you really recognize it.

So, you decided to put more effort towards him. You began to sorta change your wording to be a little less harsh—defended him even when things got heated. This, of course, didn’t stop you from still being honest, but now, John appreciated it more. He went to you for advice, returning the favor when you needed some, learning more about each other on a deeper level.

Obviously, y’all’s relationship changed—you got closer, if it wasn’t obvious. The rest of the team, like Alexei, always made little comments on the tension between you two, or jokes on how “close” you both were. It was annoying but you never denied it..neither did he.

_________________________________________

Fast forward to a night later, in the New Avenger tower—

John had PTSD attacks, it was normal. I mean, he’s literally a war soldier and put his whole life and soul into it. On those nights, he couldn’t sleep, so around midnight, he’d begrudgingly get up, walk to the fridge, and eat/drink something. Tonight was one of those nights, sadly.

And as usual, he did his little routine. He dragged himself to the kitchen in his baggy pajama pants and white T-shirt.

John was digging through the fridge, looking at all the bitten and half eaten shit in there, grumbling as he rolled his eyes, tossing a sandwich back in there. Then, he felt a presence. He whipped his head around, already paranoid due to the PTSD. Phew, it was just you. He let out a little sigh, shaking his head while cursing himself under his breath.

“You okay?” You called out, noticing his restless demeanor. “Yeah—..yeah, I’m good,” He cleared his throat, closing the fridge, standing up. “Okay..” You muttered, knowing all too well that he was lying. You walked up next to him. “You don’t gotta lie, y’know..I get it,” You then walked to the light switch, turning on one that dimly lit the kitchen area. John softly grunted, his eyes blinking a few times to adjust to the light. “I know..I just don’t wanna talk about it, alright?” He snapped a little. “Okay, okay,” You put your hands up. “I won’t force you,” You nodded.

John recognized his snappy demeanor, getting more frustrated at himself. “Sorry, Y/N, I just—..” He sighed. “It’s a lot,” You nodded once more in acknowledgement, walking towards him, firmly placing your hands on his shoulders. “John, trust me, I get it. Don’t apologize for something you can’t control, ‘K?” “Okay..” He let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding in, looking off to the side before looking back at you. “Want me to..rub your shoulders or something?” You offered randomly, raising a brow. Comforting wasn’t your specialty, but you tried. John tilted his head slightly, a little smirk propping up on his lips. “You’d do that?”

“Shut up,”

You sat him down on a chair standing behind him. “Just let me work, alright?” You said, your fingers beginning to gently yet firmly rub into his stiff shoulders. John grunted, his eyebrows furrowing up. “No problem with that..” You continued as you felt his shoulders relax a little under your touch. “Right there,” John said, patting a specific spot on his shoulder. “It’s been giving me all sorts of damn trouble,” You nodded, your knuckles digging into the knot. “Damn, Walker…” You muttered. He must’ve been STRESSED lately. He groaned, nodding. “Oh, yeah, that’s good,” He sighed deeply. As you dug into that one knot, your other hand slid up his neck, your thumb placing pressure in certain areas to find more knots.

The scene was quite sensual—intimate even.

That’s when John felt it. Oh, God not now, not here! Did he seriously just get a hard on? It didn’t register right away, until he actually looked down. He immediately cleared his throat awkwardly, his hand rubbing his partially shaved beard for a second. “Alright, that’s enough,” He said. “What? Did I do something?” You immediately raised a brow. “No—well, yeah, just..” He sighed. He felt quite embarrassed and he hoped to God you wouldn’t notice the tent in his pants. Buuut of course you did, you just had to, right? “Oh..ohhhh..” You nodded, trying not to laugh. “Don’t laugh,” He scoffed, taking a quick glance up at you. “Listen, I just..haven’t felt the touch of a woman like that in a long time..” He admitted in embarrassment.

“No, no,” You let a little chuckle slip. “I’m taking this as a compliment,” “What?” He looked up at you, confused. “Nothing—I’m saying it’s okay,” You shook your head. “No, it’s not,” He persisted as he began to get up, but you suddenly pulled him back down, sitting him down yourself. You yourself were a little caught off guard by your own actions. You paused, a tense silence between you two. What were you doing? “John..” You started, not finishing before just going in and kissing him, your hand holding his jaw, not tight but definitely not soft either. He was surprised, his eyes wide for a moment, before fluttering closed, his hand going up to your wrist, holding it as you two shared a kiss.

You then pulled away. You both panted as you looked at each other with confusion but want. “What are you doing?” He asked. “I don’t know,” You both immediately went back into kissing, this time with some tongue. His cock throbbed—seriously, what was going on?? It’s not like it was out of the blue, just unexpected in the moment. His hand cupped your cheek, his fingers getting in some of your hair. Your hand that was on his jaw slithered to the back of his head.

After less than a minute, you two made it to his room. You hurriedly shut the door, locking it, your breaths heavy. You immediately hopped on him, his body slamming against the bed. As you laid there before John, he couldn’t help but admire you—your beautiful figure, your face. He pulled you back into a deep kiss, then pulled you away. “You’re really okay—“ “Yes,” You immediately responded. He smirked a little at that. “Good,” He began to take off your shirt, you taking off his. You sat right on the tent in his pants, which was QUITE visible. He groaned at that—damn, he missed this. You two got right back at it like animals, kissing each other all over, your tongues having minds’ of their own

You made your way down his neck, trailing kisses as your hands slid down his chest. He let out a shaky breath at that, his hands going to your hips, subconsciously grinding against you. He let out quivering pants and soft groans as you two dry humped each other. “You are so beautiful,” His whispered in your ear, running his fingers through your hair as he kissed your jawline. You hummed, kissing him again, then looked into his eyes. “I’m gonna make you feel like you’ve never felt before,” You said. He gulped, then nodded, kissing you again as his tongue tasted yours.

You then scootched back, pulling down his pants, his cock throbbing against his underwear. He gasped a little from surprise, however, before he could say anything, you came back up, kissing him as you took out his aching cock, giving it a good, slow stroke, squeezing firmly. He immediately moaned in your mouth, quite loudly. This was the first time in a long time anyone besides himself actually touched him, his wife most likely hadn’t touched him in a while before the divorce and such. You slowly—so painfully slow—rubbed his poor tip. His breaths and body were quivering like hell. “You—“ He gulped. “Really know how to work a—mmm~” His eyes almost rolled back for a second as his lips formed a thin line, trying to keep in all the noises as you touched him in all the right ways. “Don’t be shy, make some noise, Captain,” You cooed in his ear, causing a breathy and shaky chuckle from him.

Your thumb rubbed against his frenulum, making him moan. His hand grappled onto your ass for support as his hips bucked up into your hand. “Shouldn’t I be doing something for you?” He asked, already out of breath. Truth be told, he felt a little guilty—you had just given him a massage and now you were massaging him AGAIN, just..in a different way… “No, no, I’ll be getting my fill soon,” You grinned as you stroked his rock hard cock, getting all sorts of pants, groans, and moans from him. You then slid off your own pants, him staring at your sexy body once more, his dick twitching at the sight as he sat up on his elbows. You took off your panties, throwing them alongside y’all’s other clothing. “I’m gonna ride the fuck outta you, solider,” You bluntly said as you adjusted yourself on top of him. All he could do was simply nod—“Jesus..” He muttered. Those were some hot, bold words he’d never heard before.

Once you were comfortable, you sat down on his throbbing cock—not all the way, but enough to engulf the tip. You shakily sighed while John moaned, his hand going to your thigh, gripping it while his eyes closed. God, he missed that feeling, so warm and wet—tight. You then sat down all the way with a groan. “Oh my God, you feel so good..” He tried to regain some composure, breathing in through his nose and out his mouth, opening his eyes to look up at you. “You feel good, too…” You leaned down to kiss him, he accepted. You began to steadily move up and down on the dick. His breath hitched as he felt your perfect, wet pussy begin to ride him. “You enjoying yourself?” You teased. “Yes..” John said as his eyes shut once more, relishing in the feeling as he gripped your ass.

You hummed as you slid your hips up and down, feeling his cock rub against your wet walls. John shakily panted as he tried to hold back loud noises. “You think you can handle a faster pace?” You asked impatiently. He quickly nodded. “Yes—yes, please..” You began to bounce on his cock, a light clapping noise being heard. “Mmmmm…” He groaned as he bit his lip, his eyebrows furrowing. “You feel fucking amazing, Y/N…” He whispered, his hands roaming all over you, burying his face in your neck. Your hand went into his hair, gripping it slightly as you lightly kissed his ear. “Who knew..” You said as you swallowed down a moan. “Uh-huh—Oh~” He groaned slightly, his hands residing to gripping your hips as you bounced on his cock. “God, you are so hard..” You strained, breathing heavily. “Hard for you..” He whispered back, getting a chuckle out of you. You clenched down on him, earning a louder moan from him. “Fuck—keep squeezing me like that—“ His breath hitched, his hands natural guiding your pace.

“You like that?” You breathily moaned out. “Fuck, yes,” He groaned back. “When you said—groan—you were gonna ride the fuck outta me—ah~..When exactly are you gonna follow through with that?” You raised a brow, smirking. “I forget you’re a super soldier sometimes..” You laid him down, adjusted yourself—then slammed down! You bounced on his cock, rolling your hips as you went as rough as you wanted…which was rough. He yelped, gripping the sheets as he moaned and groaned out. “I—I forget—God!..Forget..how strong you are~…” He manage quiver out as his eye rolled back slightly. The bed with squeaking and creaking quite loud, shaking even—no doubt you could wake up everyone else in the tower with how loud y’all were being. “C’mon—ah—be as loud as you want, Captain!” You urged on, as you repeatedly slammed and clenched down on his poor cock. That got a loud moan out of him, his hands desperately reaching out for you. Yeah, he was a super soldier, but he hadn’t had sex, let alone good sex, in A WHILE.

You two lost the last bit of control you had the closer you got. He was bucking up into you, you were slamming down on him, somewhat trying to control y’all’s volume…but you were still quite loud. The more immersed you got the less you cared. “Fuuuck, I’m close—I’m close, Y/N—stop, stop—“ He groaned out, not being able to stop himself. “Fuck no, we’re continuing this—I can pull out,” You responded, out of breath. “What? A-Are you sure?” He moaned as he felt you clench around him, the knot he felt beginning to get tighter. “Yes—yes, let’s just keep fucking!” You moaned as you got closer. “God—yes!” He panted, his abs flexing as he tensed. The bed creaking and moving a little—it’s a surprise how it hasn’t broken yet—the clapping sounds were loud as hell too now, the sweat dripping off y’all’s bodies creaking suction, and the noises you two were making made it all too intense. “I’m—I’m cumming—FUCK!” You two shouted, you quickly pulling off as the ropes of hot, thick sperm squirted out his cock and the wetness oozed out of your pussy, you two moaning loud, holding each other tightly, eyes rolled back, bodies completely tensed. That had to be one of the most intense orgasms either one of you ever had. After a good couple of minutes, you guys gained some consciousness back, trembling and breathing hard.

“Oh, my God..”

“Oh, my God..”

_________________________________________

The next morning, after everyone was awake and after you two freshened up, everyone sat around.

Bob was eating cereal, you were drinking coffee, as well as Yelena and Ava, while Alexei and John ate an actual breakfast. The silence was unusually loud, until—“Y’know, you could at least be quiet,” Yelena said bluntly, giving you and John a look. John immediately looked away, clearing his throat. “Yeah! You sounded like two ferocious lions! Not like we didn’t see it coming..” Alexei laughed at you two. “At first I thought you were training..and then I heard it..” Bob frowned sighing. “I didn’t know John could even pull a lady like that,” Ava said, taking a sip of her coffee. “Alright, alright—that’s enough!” John said, embarrassed.

That whole day…and possibly every day from now on, they teased you for it. Was it worth it, though? HELL YES.

[anonymous-existences]

Chapter 3: New Faces, New Job, New Everything.

Continuation to the Prolouge, Chapter 1 and 2.

Danny stares at Dante in absolute shock, Red Hood? RED HOOD?? OF ALL PEOPLE. Dante had to meet the rumored and probably the most violent of the Vigilantes. And Red Hood being a literal Crime Lord makes this worse.

"He had a fat ass to be hone-" Dante Blurted with a smirk but Danny cuts him off, "No, No. Shut up. I don't wanna hear your- or my- wait no. YOU'RE gay shenanigans." Danny pinches the bridge of his nose, trying to process the whole story.

"Let me get this.. straight-... You ... Ugh.... Ancients save me. YOU. MET. RED HOOD. AFTER. Beating up... Someone in his HAUNT?? And what do you mean he's a revenant? I thought frostbite said those were the "rare cases" of semi-halfas" Danny tries to clear up all the information in his head through just yelling it out.

"Yep." Dante popping the "P" and does not elaborate on anything else but a simple 'yep'.

"Kill me fully- wait... No. Jazz wouldn't want that." Danny reminded himself and took a deep breathe.

"I am so telling Clockwork." Danny spoke out.

"Oh come on! I'm in physical probation! I defended someone from getting bad things happen to them—" Danny cut him off.

"You can say "Fucked up shit" you know stop physically censoring yourself." Danny just stared at Dante with a judgemental face. Dante gasped dramatically like he's offended by that statement.

"OH WOW. It's not like I'm trying to 'Censor' myself because you're a traumatized 13 year old kid and I'm an adult given the responsibility of YOU cuz I love you like my brother." Dante states emphasizing every word.

"You sound like a drag queen." Danny blurts out

"I look better in pink anyways." Dante smirked smugly and Danny just frowned and sighed as Dante Ruffled his hair Mischievously.

"Don't you have a job interview today?" Danny grabbed his hand and gently places it away from his poor hair.

"I already got hired. They said I fit the job." Dante sounded very proud of himself before Danny blurts out "I think they hired you on the spot because you're Eye Candy."

Dante was stunned and thought about it for a moment.

Hmm.

"Yeah I suppose but that doesn't matter now, I have a normal job and people doesn't seem to be bothered by me at all so it's very good." Danny imagined that if Dante had a tail he'd be wagging it and Danny didn't like that mental image of a fucking CATBOY DAN- "UUUUUGHH! I hate that." He drags his palm on his face dramatically.

"And you Danny. Is coming with me to work. I am not leaving you in the apartment because. I will list it.

1. Someone might break in and you're not safe.

2. You might kill that someone either through ghost or through your tendencies to grab that goddamn creep stick and hit without hesitation.

3. I am not letting you play DOOMED for 7 hours straight, But I will let you play Minecraft.

4. You or well, We. Tend to roam away from home when we are bored, in this case you do. And ding ding ding we're in Gotham.

5. If you ever got into any danger. I would not worry if you're okay. I would worry if you killed someone first.

That's your list."

Dante started Loud and Clear.

"Fine but I get to bring both my phone and headphones with my switch." Danny Complied with a deal making Dante smile triumphantly, "Fine with me Twerp, and you better behave at the cafe." He chuckles and Pats Danny's Head Gently but still mischievously.

Danny also giggled, Danny's chest felt warm. And his core buzzed in familiar happiness as Dante and Danny Pressed their foreheads into each other before Dante pats Danny's shoulder and stands back up with a groan.

"Let's go kid, get ready now." Dante stretched his body and cracks some of his "old bones" as Danny heads to his bedroom and takes his sling bag and puts his 'neccesities' inside with a smile.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

Tim heard about a new Cafe opening nearby Gotham U, although at first he was suspicious of how so many people are already visiting it and even the lines reach outside. He soon found out why. One of their workers was rumored to be apparently "eye candy" or whatever they called people who are very attractive.

This worker was the main Barista and he apparently makes the drinks Infront of the people and he was good at it.

That got Tim even more curious, How attractive does someone have to be that people of all genders are lining up on a new store as if a celebrity is inside. And so he decided to wait in line like any other student as to not direct any attention to himself because that would be utterly humiliating for him.

He waited.....

And waited....

And kept Waiting and Waiting....

Until finally, what felt like an eternity he finally got to order His Coffee.

It seems the rumors are true, the bartender is indeed attractive. Tim got even more curious about how the big man seemed to have canine sharp teeth, oddly pale complexion that almost looks... Purple? And Lazarus Green Water with Red Rims.

"An Americano with two shots please.." He states to the Cashier, "And name please?" The Cashier asks again.

"Timothy." He calmly tells her as she writes it down to a receipt and hands it to the orders That the "Eye Candy" Man and Another Worker was Making.

Tim sat on a nearby table. It was the only table that happened to be empty. Except a 13 years old kid just sitting there playing... Minecraft? Okay-.

The kid stared at Tim, Tim stares back. 'He looks like adoption Bait.' Tim thinks to himself then suddenly he slowly feels weird, as if he's being judged intensely, Unfortunately and possibly even worse than how Damian judges him.

"You look like an overworked 9-5 office worker that has no paid vacations or time off for a student." the kid suddenly speaks out and it felt as though Tim had just been shot with a non-existent arrow of truth.

"Wha-" Tim tries to ask but the kid interrupts him before he could even start, "you should really get some sleep and maybe lessen your intake of Coffee... Ah right. Name's Danny by the way. Sorry. You just started staring at me so I couldn't help but state my opinion." The kid, or well... Danny said as he went back to playing Minecraft on his switch.

"I- it's... It's fine. I know I need sleep... All college students do- it's normal." Timothy just sighs and nods subtly, knowing full well this random kid is right.

Goddamit, the kid acts like Damian a bit too- and he has the typical black hair blue eyes appearance, possibly an orphan attitude. Tim continues to have a subtle Life Crisis in his head.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

'Such a weird person.' Danny thought to himself and chuckled softly.

He continues to play Minecraft with Tucker and Sam to Pass his time and so he doesn't go all deppreso mid-daylight. The amount of people entering the cafe was still... Concerning at the very least, now that the customers have heard Dante's voice... They started to call him the "Everything in one Package." Which was way worse than "Eye Candy" to be honest.

'Vlad would be confused and shocked.... I wonder how Ellie is doing.. hopefully not too bad....' Danny hums to himself as he made a gravesite ingame for Jazz to remember her by.

It has become tradition for these teens to make jazz a gravesite whenever they start a new world and they always made sure it's beautiful and colorful in a way Jazz would have liked it.

Danny smiled as he finished up the ingame Gravesite.

Although it hurts to see and do this every time, he still loves it because then he has something to remind him of her existence.

Her precious Existence as he likes to call it.

"I miss her so much..." He mutters to himself.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

"I'm so... Tired." Dante was plopped onto the couch lazily.

"I am scared to be an adult like you..." Danny just stared at Dante as he Begrudgingly sat back up from the couch to stretch his body and head to the kitchen to cook.

"I met a random older student today, we kinda talked. He called me adoption bait which was funny because technically I am considering V l a d." Danny laughed.

"Adoption Bait my ass, who would want to adopt a little messy homeless looking goblin." Dante just chuckled smugly and Danny Pouts. " I am not a homeless looking kid" he tries to defend himself "that's the thing you're most concerned about in my sentence?" Dante tucked his hair back into a tight Ponytail and let's it flow naturally like fire.

"I know I'm a goblin, it's just how I am." Danny proudly says and pats his chest and puffs it out with pride.

"Ofcourse you do... Ah right. Kiddo I have a surprise for you tomorrow. So make sure to get enough sleep today alright?" Dante kneels down to Danny's Height to speak to him properly.

Danny thinks for a second, "Sure! I like surprises!" Danny giggled nodded profusely in excitement.

"Good." Dante smiled softly, he loves it when Danny is happy. His core loves when Danny is also happy. A happy Danny is a happy Dante.

He wishes this could go on forever. Just Danny smiling and not screaming for his life in his nightmares.

My Arm is cold from writing this <33

Enjoy though.

[igotanidea]

A biker and a bicycler

requested by @blooming4u : reader x Jason meeting for the first time.

AKA; what happens when it rains and someone causes a little water fountain out of the puddle.

***

“HEY! WATCH WHERE YOU GOING!!”

The sudden screeching of the motorcycle wheels on the asphalt quickly made her realize that yelling at this driver might have been a bad idea.

The driver getting off the bike and striding towards her without taking off his helmet only fueled that suspicion further.

Him standing way too close, as if waiting for her to apologize made her ….

Even angrier.

The hell was he thinking?!

Speeding on the street in the rain, not giving a shit about the cyclists?! Hello?!

Not taking a second to get his head out of his ass to maybe consider that there were puddles everywhere and fucking driving too close can fucking cause someone to get all wet?!

Oh hell no, she was not backing down from this!

“You were saying something, princess?” a muffled voice, came from behind the motorcycle helmet

“Damn right I was!” she exclaimed, pointing at her drenched jeans and bicycle. “See what you did?!”

“You sure that was me?” the guy chuckled, but due to that stupid thing on his stupid head it sounded more like Lord Vader joking around. “There are plenty other people who could have done it? How do I know you are not trying to trick me into taking responsibility?”

“Huh? What—” that little speech surely took her aback. A little though, since she quickly recovered. “Are you a lawyer now?”

“Far from it, believe me! But still, I’m going to need proof to that, princess. Otherwise, I might think you are doing shit like this on purpose, cause I caught your attention. You know, if you want to ask me out, you can just ask without all those charades.” His face was still hidden, but Y/N could swear he was smirking.

“Excuse me?!”

“Oh, I guessed right? Didn’t I?”

“Ok, let’s assume for a second that you are. That I am doing it to catch the attention of random guy-”

“Hey, no judgment, there are worse deviations.” He cut her off, raising hands up in mock surrender.

“Oh yeah, right. I am that desperate” Y/N rolled her eyes in response “but clearly you got some serious issues yourself. If we do go out, are you going to stay in that helmet? Ugly much?”

“Oh, sunshine—”

“Do not call me sunshine, idiot.”

“Feisty much?” he retorted

“You ruined my jeans.” She deadpanned.

“Poor girlie.” He mocked “who rides a bike in a rain either way?”

“I’m sorry I can’t see you having a sliding roof over your bike.”

“I got a helmet though. And you don’t. Feisty and reckless.”

“Yeah, true. You got a helmet, wonder why you’re hiding under it? Kinda rude to talk to a girl like that.”

“Well if you put it that way.”

“The hell does that mean--?”

Before she could scoff further or even finish the question he took off the helmet, revealing his face. And well, um, he didn’t look ugly at all.

Quite the opposite, actually, not that she was going to admit it out loud.

The guy, whose name she still didn’t know tried to smooth out frizzy hair, but ended up only ruffling them more.

“Do you need a mirror?” she mocked, raising her eyebrows.

“Nah, not really, the admiration in your eyes is enough for me” he grinned.

“You know I’m starting to hate you.”

“Oh no! You cannot hate me before you know my name!” despite herself Y/N couldn’t hold back an  amused snort at his joke and grin. “I’m Jason.”

“Y/N.”

“So Y/N. Since apparently I ruined your jeans how about I take you for a coffee to make it up?”

“Really? A second ago you were-“

“Yeah, yeah, traumatic past, let’s not get back to it. Seriously, my treat.”

“Um… why?” it wasn’t like she was just going to go out with a stranger. Not that type of girl even if the guy was handsome. Blame the bad teenage rom-coms that made her see herself as the object of mockery, rather then possible love interest.

“Why not?” he shrugged “seriously, what do you have to lose?”

“Sanity and a sense of humor in your presence?”

“Ouch! Rough! I’m hurt!”

“And I;m not sorry.”

“Okay then, now you got a reason to grab a coffee with me.”

“And what may that be?”

“Remorse?”

“Who’s desperate now?” she smirked, shaking head and following him to a café. If nothing more, she was at least going to wait the rain in a warm place. And if the company turned out bad? Well – she would get a reason to put her sarcasm and irony to the test, cause something was telling her, that this Jason guy would be a worthy opponent on the matter.

[phoenixyfriend]

Hey have a fun AU I came up with the other day after reading a bunch of fics with related tropes

It's a raised Sith AU. Anakin was found by Sidious well before he was found by Qui-Gon. He was raised by the Sith, is a classically horrible monster stalking about TCW to be Vader (mask and all, just as an intimidation factor instead of life support) while Ventress and Grievous and Dooku do their own things in a different section of the war. He's got a Really Fucking Weird dynamic with Obi-Wan, mostly attempting to kill him etc.

At some point, Palpatine allows Anakin and Padme to meet. The romance that blooms is one that Sheev decides is useful to him, so he lets it happen.*

Padme gets pregnant. Sidious arranges for her death. Anakin loses his entire shit and tries to kill Sidious. Obi-Wan is off trying to save Padme, unaware of Anakin getting his remaining limbs cut off by his this-universe Master. (This is important, because Anakin does remember Obi-Wan trying to save Padme.)

So we have Anakin, who was raised Sith, and just lost the only things that have mattered to him since his mom died when he was a kid, and Palpatine has pushed him further into the Dark than he ever has. Anakin… knows more about the Sith Secrets in this universe.

Anakin finds a Sithly Time Machine. Maybe on Malachor. There's an owl? Whatever.

Anakin, someone who's been Vader for the vast majority of his life, wakes up at age nine. Maybe even younger, like six. His mother is already dead at Sidious's hands. He's already roommates with Maul. He's already being trained as a baby Sith.

Anakin, being a 20 year old war veteran, is much better at escaping than Sidious has planned for. He reprograms a medical droid to take out his slave chip, steals a ship, etc. All the stuff that Maul wasn't very good at, and Anakin was too young for, so Sidious didn't have the preventative measures in place for yet.

Anakin heads for the one place and person he thinks he can trust: Obi-Wan Kenobi.

(Obi-Wan is still a padawan. But this Baby Sith just declared him Adoptive Teen Dad, so.)

@lizasweetling (all indented bits from here will be hers):

Because Sith. Bad for mental health of the user and generally bad for their environs But also baby. And if hes dragging Maul around no doubt the dude is constantly himself confused why he is here Like yeah, Sidious sucked, and this 6-9yo is way powerful and knowledgeable on the dark side (?????) But why are we going to the Jedi? And not even trying to kill them apparently?????

Anakin is very much being affected by Baby Brain and Baby Endocrine System. He cries a lot more than he should.

I WASN'T THINKING OF HIM BRINGING MAUL BUT YEAH. THAT'S. THAT'S A POSSIBILITY.

Jedi Council trying to decide if this is more "Adult Sith got shrunk" or "child got evil man's memories." Vader wants to know why it even MATTERS. (He didn't actually plan on telling them, but he has very little self control right now.)

The first Good Act he does is tell them where to find Ventress and Ky. (In the original timeline, he viewed Ventress as like. Cool older cousin.)

Vader's right, that distinction does not matter Aaaw, she deserves that, that's nice Maybe she will be like 20% less homocidally traumatized

Anakin is furious when Maul and Obi-Wan pick him up under one arm like a package. He is a GROWN MAN he is an ADULT he was a SITH LORD and about to be a FATHER, he is TOO OLD FOR THIS.

They point out that he is Baby.

😂 sorry lord of evil, you're too baby, have a nap and maybe your feel better. Assuming the crisis on Naboo is still happening, and as such the vote of no confidence is right now, it might be a great time to report Sidious as a Sith lord. Post-escape from Sidious, both he and Maul definitely will need a nap. It's that kinda place.

Oh, it's probably at least a year before. Anakin keeps trying to sneak off to kill the man himself, but the Jedi are more ready for his Sneaking than Mustafar was, so he keeps getting caught before he can reach the Senate.

At one point he tries to just CHARGE the place and you get Mace and Obi-Wan sprinting after him. The News captures videos of this very small child getting chased by an older Padawan and a Master and they are mostly yelling for him to PUT DOWN THE SABER.

(Sidious might see him but what's he going to do? Might cause too many problems for Sidious to be aware of Anakin's presence with the Jedi, though. Best not.)

It's probably more expensive on average to hire an assassin on a child, just in general But on a jedi youngling??? If he can even find someone to do that, it will be so very, ridiculously expensive And likely 70%+ upfront payments

Ahsoka definitely seeks him out. Toddler baby child. She adores him for reasons unclear to anyone and everyone.

!!! Baby has baby!! Vader's probably a little thrown by this. Been a while subjectively since someone just loved him. And not even for like, a reason. Baby Vader coerced into sitting obediently for nap by tired kiddo: [The council liked that]

The number of times that vader could only be convinced to nap by Obi-Wan grabbing him, caging him in his own lap, and forced to Sit Quietly until he just fell asleep like that...

He has things to do, he's not tired 😡😡😡💢 (He's 9. Distances are between 150 and 195% longer when measured with steps, he's hungry (subjectively) all the time, and has only middling coordination He so is too tired)

Anakin doesn't know Qui-Gon at all but he keeps getting stuffed into the man's top because he's just. Small enough to fit.

Like the bomb boobs gif, but it's a small child.

the indignity

You just. You can't let him get too self-important.

Vader is Disgusted every time the pediatric healers try to talk down to him like they do to other 6yos.

The difference between this and other "Vader goes back in time to the Jedi" AUs (like Force of Many Sights) is that this Vader has never been a Jedi, and doesn't know anything about them except how they fight when he's trying to kill their friends.

Also Maul's there.

Because even he has a hard time taking himself seriously when hes so easy to manhandle Rest of the time; I am fear, I am death personified As luggage child: I am so small. The tiniest. I crave violence He's probably very annoyed they keep taking away his saber And hey! Obi gets practice not losing his! Woooo!

Something something Anakin clinging to Maul's back (piggy back ride) and chewing on his head or something stupid like that. Perfect height for head biting.

You know, the classic anime head bite

Maul probably has been nominally talked into this because this 9yo is a powerful darksider But he is also the world's most annoying tiny kid Maul would've thought his phenotype would make him immune to this ridiculousness He was wrong At least the teeth are a bit less pointy than his other little brothers'? Appreciating the little things

tfw your unwanted little brother drags you to what you think is a cult but actually they're way less culty than your last two places so you just stick around to keep an eye on the little shit

Anyway. ObiMaul for this one.

They're peers They're tired They just want to sit down and not have to chase this weird little murder child They have a lot in common 😊

They are all just a little bit stupid, I love them.

Qui-Gon is a Cool Mom (throws condoms at them and books it).

Yeah, that's about as much involvement as would be appreciated They probably did a lot of sparring before the tension broke Which did not relieve said tension, generally made it worse (Competence, athleticism, sweat-) Vader is confused, but probably doesn't mind He's probably glad they're distracting each other from stopping assassinating a certain someone (Which- that is 9yo hubris. He would need help to do that)

I still can't decide where on 6yo-9yo he falls but somewhere in there

Babies means easier hiding in shirt, teenie Ahsoka, and longer for him to convince the Jedi council to do a Sith hunt before the Naboo situation

Also longer for Maul and Obi-Wan to faff about being all Tension

* Vaguely inspired by the backstory of Rulebreaker/Wildheart, which is great but significantly more of a romance fic than this.

[midnight1nk]

So, this week's episode...

[spoilers below cut]

*GASP*

...

how come the Team does this to me? They get me every. single. time. chat, I don't even want to click on the episode BUT I HAVE TO KNOW IF MY THEORY WAS RIGHT OH WHYYYY

(the following is my live reaction:)

starting off already? well no complaints from me

it's giving "Trust No One" from WOTFI 2023 arc

PFFT HAHAHHAHAHAHA

ok ok ik it's supposed to be serious, but that "wha happen?" audio clip from Mickey Mouse Shorts really caught me off-guard. Who in the Team did that? I want to say thank you

anyway, Mario dude you gotta tell everything, especially to Karen

...well, the minecraft part isn't wrong but he's not telling the whole story

omg 4 really is doing the same thing as 3 did a year ago

which is crazy considering that 4 wasn't in 3's interrogation on Mario. They're so cosmically linked that they came up with the same interrogation method, well it's also Mario we're talking about

yeah, we'll let Karen do the rest

might as well give in, Mario. it ain't worth hiding any secrets

...4?

he's so silly I love him 💙

idk 4, maybe you should be an inspiring VA (4 would be the type of parent who would do all the characters' voices when reading bedtime stories 😌↕️)

oh. oh holy shit.

well at least you're getting it out of your system, Karen. but I do feel genuinely concerned you. I still understand but worried.

the shadows making it look like she's stabbing Mario isn't helping with my concerns

...what was that?

*wheeze* no 4, it's not the IRS

OH we got a sniper here, folks. WPNZ?

AND A ROBOTIC HAND? yeah, we're not just guessing anymore. the anon from my inbox who said that WPNZ may be a cyborg, you nailed it man

Ain't no way, Mario died (he literally cannot)

THE GMOD GUN IS BACK

HOLY SHIT nice save Karen

it's confirmed: 4 doesn't pay his taxes

Mario: "I am..." [*Invincible title card*]

he still got the walkie-talkie.... what the hell did WPNZ say to him?

YEP now we're putting the pieces together

*wheeze* Mario what was that run?

pull some strings, you say? perhaps... CONNECTIONS?

GET EM GIRLS /ref

secretive, ay?

what's with the dark room?

*flashback* I just remembered a traumatizing experience in my past, hang on I have to stim and I'll feel better. /ref

damn Mario ok

oh wait, I recognize this animation style. Anaidon, did you work on this scene? :D

PFFT THE DISTRACTION DANCE FROM THE HENRY STICKMAN SERIES OMG

I did not see that coming, ok who in the Team did that bc that was good haha. nostalgia go brrrrrrrrrr

No, WPNZ, it really did work ngl

oh shit

yep it's a cyborg hand if it's compatible with an actual arm

Gear up, it's for a swell battle!!!

FLAMETHROWER?! even Mario's not liking this

no, 4! this isn't Mario, it's Mr. WPNZ

😦

*pauses episode* ...chat, can you do something for me?

hold me back, and don't let go until I'm done. ready?

*ahem*

...WPNZ YOU SON OF A BITCH WAIT UNTIL I GET MY HANDS ON YOU AND I SWEAR YOU'RE NOT GOING TO LIVE TO SEE TOMORROW— *10 minutes and a nuke explosion later*

ok I'm good.

4 I'm going to need you to wake up buddy. c'mon you can't die, especially not you. 4 don't do this to me, you can't. you faced way worse stuff before, this can't hold you down now. your friends, your family, they're waiting for you to come back home. you can't leave them. 4 please

WE GOT A PULSE OH THANK GOD

IT'S A WEAK ONE THO, WE NEED TO GET HIM TO A DOCTOR NOW

I KNOW YOU DIDN'T MEAN TO, IT WASN'T YOUR FAULT 😭

at least Karen could finally get some answers

...a surprise?! OH HELL NO that guy nearly got them killed for ENTERING, it's a trap for sure

LET'S GO GET YOUR KIDS BACK but do be careful, we still don't know what we're up against

😭

get 4 outta there!! oh god, is the Crew gonna see 4 in critical condition? Beeg4? *head in hands*

I swear the Team is out to get me (also Mario carrying out 4 strangely reminded me of a scene from a fic I read long ago)

and ofc the whole building on fire goddammit

(btw that fall reminded me of the insomniac spider-man teasers ifykyk)

no Karen, hun you aren't. you're like one of the best parents of the entire show

you're trying to be better and give your kids the life you didn't get to have, that pretty much makes you a good parent overall

YEAH LOCK IN

alright, the moment of truth

huh? radio interference?

I FUCKIN KNEW IT YEP IT'S CONFIRMED

MR. WPNZ IS KAREN'S EX LOVER AND FATHER OF THE KIDS

(well nicc, looks like you get you keep your script after all)

oh, so he's pretty much a psycho, good to know *starts curb-stomping him*

I TOLD YOU ALL THE "HALF PINTS* NICKNAME WAS TOO SPECIFIC

what kinda monster? oh the mentally-messed-up yandere ass one, yeah that kinda monster

HE'S AT THEIR HOUSE?! FUCKFUCKFUCK

ok yeah I see how it is. violence isn't enough, time to commit crimes :)

no, don't end it there. please don't

*flips desk* AND THE MUTED-COLOR CREDITS OH C'MON

looks like I got something else right, it was a mini-arc. it's all within the math

Congrats to daekim_26 for your art being featured at the end credits! 🎉 hey, I recognize this, Ben reblogged this over on Twitter. ig the Team really liked your art

.・-: ✧ :--: ✧ :-・.

I. I'm just speechless omg. Like what am I supposed to say to that? Shadow, is this what you meant when you said we're not prepared for this? I need to walk out a sec, hang on.

ok I'm back. I guess first off, Team, wow. What an episode, it is absolutely insane how good it all was. Especially the writing and the voice acting for Karen, it tugged on my heart strings. And Anaidon, I KNEW YOU ANIMATED THAT SCENE haha!

Genuninely, bravo 👏👏👏 and my calculations were right after all

Actually, for me to post my theory hours before the episode was dropped, I'm surprised how much I got it right. Most of it, yeah, though I didn't expect how insane Mr. WPNZ is. More so doing it for himself and not the corporation, but still a lot of dedication was put into this. And he got a robotic arm! Not exactly like Clench (who has a mind of its own and can talk) but definitely advanced. So, the point could still stand that the tech, skills, and resources were based on his job at Hitman Inc.

Poor Karen, you can tell she's been very desperate in finding her kids by the voice acting alone. You can't blame her for going to these lengths. Like I said, understandable, but I do still feel concerned for her. And then, her psycho ex on top of everything smh, I won't be able to handle it.

And you can't even blame Mario either. He did the mission thinking it would help Karen, and Mr. WPNZ told him what to do. Then with the prosthetic taking Mario's arm, it wasn't even him. It was WPNZ, but I do feel like Mario's going to feel so guilty for what he did to 4.

Wrong things for the right reason 😔↕️

Speaking of 4, NO NOT MY BOY. Chat, I'm not okay. Like I knew he wasn't going to die, he's literally one of the main characters, but my heart dropped at that scene. Through the floor and 6 feet underground. I did ask for 4 angst, yes, but damn. Can you imagine how the Crew would react? Since 3 & 4 are cosmically linked, would 3 feel that 4's in critical condition? Oh Beeg, 4's his dad dude. Beeg may be pretty tough but he still cares for 4, hope he gets a bit of revenge for it. (and a sprinkle of mar4 angst)

...am I going to bring in goop!4 into this?

Who do you take me for? ofc I am. As I mentioned, the parasite would still be in 4, and because of what happened to him, it might be the necessary trigger for it to activate. After everything that had happened to him, the explosion really knocked him out. This is taken seriously, this mini-arc starts really close to the IGBP anniversary.... I wouldn't be surprised if the Team tease for the future goop!4 arc. Not immediately after the Hitman arc, far later. Baby steps, chat. If the Team drops at least ONE frame, a SECOND, about goop!4, I'll take it!

Anyway, since it is a mini-arc, we're not getting another teaser or a trailer. BUT we are getting an episode special, so we'll have to look out for that. In meantime, that's all from me. I'll see yall next time and remember, folks: numbers always go first!

man, Ben. I gotta say, the thumbnail you made, it was a cool reference to the Parasite movie poster. Awesome job!

...huh.

[murderbot-moodboard]

Thoughts on Gurathin in ep. 3 (with some reflections on my own trauma recovery) :

Hrm, okay, I started out this post being all analytical and then I got sidetracked by having some emotions... Okay, the part where Gurathin accidentally startles Bharadwaj and then said he's used to being quiet (or however he worded it) intrigued me because I do the same thing. I accidentally startle people on a not infrequent basis because I move so quietly. And the main reason I do is probably learned hypervigilance: being overly aware of how much noise I'm making because there was a time in my life when being noticed by the wrong person could have negative consequences, and it was always safer for me to know what was happening in a room before anyone else knew I was entering it (so I could also make a strategic retreat if needed).

Here's the point where I got sidetracked, because I started thinking about if I wanted to get more specific than "a time in my life," and that led to me calculating how much of my life included trauma and how recently the trauma ended, and I realized it was only three years ago. And that kind of blew my mind because it feels like it's been much longer?

And I started having emotions, because I'm currently dealing with fallout of decisions I made during that time before I started active trauma recovery, and it's been tempting to be critical of myself and think I should've known better and then I wouldn't have gotten myself into such a mess. But hell, it's only been *three* years. Such a short time compared to the rest, and I already feel so much farther into trauma recovery than I thought I could be at this point.

So yeah, I definitely have things I need to work on, and I'm definitely dealing with mistakes I've made, as well as things that were out of my control and contributed to me making some of those mistakes (or made the results worse). But my time outside of actively traumatizing circumstances has been so short, and when I think of it that way, I feel a lot more compassion for myself, and a little pride over the progress I have made, and at the same time I feel a bit sad, but also grateful. It's no wonder I made mistakes, and I think I'm doing surprisingly well these days compared to where I could be.

And when I think of it that way, I also feel like Gurathin deserves compassion for being only six years out of whatever situation he was in (and based on his approximate age, it's likely he was in that situation for much longer than he's been out of it). Like, my dude, pillow-sniffing is creepy behavior, but you've obviously also been through some shit, and you're still figuring out how to deal with all that in a healthy way. You're probably doing really well compared to where you've been in the past. Maybe this situation of unexpected stress will force you to find better ways to deal with things, like by being honest with your friends about the fact that you're struggling and asking them for help/support. You deserve to have that support.