#well. and how to write a single word

[bookwyrminspiration]

got miffed thinking about vespera's signature again, so decided to try and figure out some kind of writing system that looked similar but could. theoretically. maybe work

however. did it very informally and neglected to include r in the bank of sounds I was using. so I had to transcribe it vespewa

[six-of-cringe]

Something that has been on my mind is what Kaz says to Nina at the end of Crooked Kingdom about Matthias's share of their money. He offers Nina that share, and then says, "I know it doesn't matter".

Kaz, who has spent this entire series insisting to the others that kruge means retribution, safety, success, comfort, and thus is the driving factor in his life, is sort of accidentally revealing how little he believes it. He knows Nina disapproves of his purported obsession with profit and is not motivated by money, and he also knows from personal experience that no matter how much he insists otherwise, having money will not fix what has happened to you. Maybe it will kind of buy you retribution or a degree of safety, but it will never bring back who you lost - it's too late for that. Kruge is a shitty consolation prize, and Kaz knows it. This is the only time he explicitly lets it on to the others - as emotionally constipated as he might act, he knows Nina's pain and knows that even suggesting that money would in any way fix it would be an insult.

[envyenvys]

Some scenes from the Stevie Harrington au I’ve been rotating in my mind for months

Details & IDs under the cut:

[ID 1: Stephanie Harrington speaking into a walkie-talkie, her text bubble reads:

“Sound off, shitheads.”

She has long brown hair with big waves, and is wearing a white tank top and blue jeans. She looks vaguely annoyed or exasperated. End ID 1]

[ID 2: Steph lying stomach-down on the end of a bed, propped up on her elbows so she can hold hands with Chrissy Cunningham, who’s speaking. Chrissy’s text bubbles read:

“Jason just doesn’t get it. I wanna hang out, and shop, and cheer, and beat the shit out of interdimensional man-eating monsters. You know, I wanna do girly stuff!”

Steph looks indulgently down at Chrissy, who’s smiling and sitting on the floor. Steph’s wearing a red crop top and blue jeans, and Chrissy has on a yellow and white striped headband, a white and pink floral print button-up shirt, and sunny yellow overalls, which have multicoloured flowers embroidered around the hips and ankles. End ID 2]

Chrissy’s dialogue here is inspired by a similar quote from Buffy the Vampire Slayer, because I thought it would be a fun & cute thing for her to say, and her outfit is inspired by one of princess Diana’s bc she’s a fashion icon.

[ID 3: Steph and Robin Buckley, both in their Scoops Ahoy uniforms, complete with the hats. Robin’s holding up a whiteboard divided into ‘hit’ and ‘miss’ sections. ‘Miss’ has twelve tally marks, and ‘hit’ has a single tally with a small question mark beside it. Their dialogue reads:

Robin: Board’s getting full, Harrington. You’re a real heartbreaker today.

Steph: Told you I could make this outfit work.

Steph is smiling, holding an ice cream scoop, and her hair’s braided over her shoulder with a red scrunchie. Robin looks amused, like she’s teasing. End ID 3]

[ID 4: Steph and Dustin Henderson in the scene from season 2 where they’re leaving a trail of meat for Dart on the railroad tracks. They both have yellow gloves and are holding buckets of meat, and Steph has her bat over her shoulder. Their dialogue reads:

Steph: I’ll bring you some of my Farrah Fawcett spray.

Dustin: Isn’t that for girls?

Steph: It’s for hair.

The word ‘hair’ is underlined. Steph is wearing a light blue and purple jacket over a red turtleneck and blue jeans, and her hair is in a ponytail with a red scrunchie. Dustin is wearing his canon outfit, complete with the baseball cap and headset. He looks skeptical. End ID 4]

Bonus transcript of me explaining the single tally + question mark in dms:

🍓[me]: Snappy dialogue to indicate that the board is abt men failing to flirt with her and not the other way around 👍

🍇[beloved]: who's the hit?

🍓: Eddie lmfao

🍓: The question mark is there bc Robin was so baffled by Eddie’s complete lack of rizz that she’s not sure she even interpreted that correctly

🍇: KNEW it

🍇: robin watching the entire time: 🤨

🍓: He wasn’t even trying to flirt is the thing he just got up there and lost his mind and his friends were standing behind him clearly being like “we don’t know this guy” and somehow steph got like… giggly??

🍓: Robin, afterwards: what the hell was that

🍓: Steph, clueless: what was what? 😀❓

🍓: Eddie crouching down behind one of those large decorative plants for ten straight minutes desperately holding his head in his hands shinji-style to stave off the cringe

🍓: His ice cream melts btw

🍇: his friends are standing a full meter away from him, pointedly not looking

🍓: Yeah they’re on the other end of the food court sitting at a table facing him but very carefully avoiding actually looking at him. They’d put their backs to him but the last time they did that (different mall, long story, they aren’t allowed in anymore) Eddie got kicked out by mall security and it took them like three hours to find him

🍓: This was before Gareth’s time and no one’s ever actually explained the full situation to him bc 1) they keep embellishing it and 2) eddie gets screechy when they try

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

I wouldn't really agree that boys are just arm candy in magical girl shows and only there to look cute. Yeah, sure the girls' friendships are the focus, but the boys are usually very much involved in the plot and most shows do explore their feelings about the odd things that happen due to magical shenanigans even if they aren't in the know (It's why ML baffles me even more with how they screwed up Adren's arc when he's the deuteragonist, when all these boys are supporting cast and get well rounded arcs)

I'm not much of a winx fan, but the specialists were very much not arm candy. Did the girls talk about them being cute? Yes, it's what teenage girls do. Did the narrative suggest they were good looking? Yes, but that's standard for most love interests in any genre. But we still got scenes with them talking amongst themselves about how they themselves feel and they got a fair share of badass fight scenes even if they wield no magic. A large amount of episodes actually included the boys and girls working as a team solving a mystery or fighting a villain. The girls might deal the finishing blow but the boys were still integral to the plot.

I hope this doesn't come across as hate, it definitely wasn't my intention. I'm just a bit too passionate about the magical girl genre.

I do think you have a good point with ML having a problem choosing a genre or blending two genres successfully.

For the CCS fans, I will add though that Cardcaptor Sakura had both Tomoyo and Syaoran serve as sources of motivation for Sakura. And both Sakura and Syaoran collecting cards even if Sakura is the only one who could seal them and yet never made you question whether Syaoran was even necessary for the job the way ml does with Chat.

I wasn't trying to say that boys have no part to play in magical girl team shows or that they're always treated as having no lives beyond the girls, that's why I mentioned that the Winx Club boys - aka, the Specialists - have their own (mostly off screen) lives and occasionally show up help the girls:

the boys are usually off doing their own thing and only occasionally show up for a date or to give the girls a ride on their cool bikes or magical spaceship

Even then, this is certainly a simplification of the roles that they play in the story, but I kind of had to simplify their roles down to their base components for the original post's discussion as I was talking in broad strokes of how these stories are written.

In terms of those broad strokes, the Specialists are absolutely only there for shipping fodder. That's why each one is assigned to a girl from the start and why their main role in the narrative is supporting their assigned love interest or causing relationship-based drama for their assigned love interest. If it weren't for shipping, then the Specialists would not exist.

While the Specialists do have fleshed out characters and may even effect the plot, the execution of those elements is designed around the girls. A really obvious example of this is the character Timmy, who has character development as the boy's tech guy. Why is he into technology? Because he's the designated love interest for the fairy of Technology and we have to show why they're a good match. Along similar lines, the boys don't really get plots that are removed from the girls because this is the girl's show. Every episode features one or more of the Winx, but the boys are optional and often don't appear.

This is because, narratively speaking, the boys are just love interests and that brings us back to Miraculous' big problem. You can't have a show where Adrien is written like a Specialist while also being part of the Winx Club and where Alya is written like she's part of the Winx Club while technically being more of a Specialist in terms of power set and actual narrative role.

I'm was thinking back to my memories of various Winx Club plots to find one that really highlighted what I mean here and I remembered that one of the big dramas in season one was the reveal that Bloom's love interest - Sky - was in an arranged marriage and had just never told her. As it turns out, that's a great example of what I'm talking about re Adrien!

Is that plot line technically based around Sky and letting his life effect the plot? Sure, but the fallout of that reveal revolves around Bloom, not Sky. The story doesn't really care how Sky's feeling as the conflict progresses. Instead, it focuses on how it affects Bloom and her friends because of course it does! She's the main character. It would be really weird if that plot suddenly focused on her side character love interest and his friends during one of her darkest hours/biggest moments.

Think of that and then consider how the ending of season five is written. Notice any similarities? Sure, this is Adrien's family drama, but because he's just a Specialist, the focus isn't on him. It's on Winx Club member Marinette and Adrien only shows up at the end for a kiss. That is the problem. That is what I'm talking about when I say that Miraculous will randomly write him as if we're watching a magical girl team show where Adrien is just the love interest.

In fact, let's really dig into this example because it's a good one.

You can have a look at the transcript for the finale episode of Miraculous season five here and see for yourself that Adrien doesn't even show up on screen until the final scenes when the big drama is over. The Winx Club wiki also has episode transcripts, so I took a look to see what happened in Winx land during the arranged marriage reveal plot (I love that this is a thing. It's so useful for fact checking myself!) This is the script for the episode after Bloom learns the truth. Sky does not appear even though his lies and family drama are the fuel for this episode's events, which are a major part of the season's arc. Note how perfectly that matches Adrien's writing?

Similarly, Sky's dialogue in the reveal episode is all about Bloom. He's worried about her learning the truth and thinking less of him. To match that, here's Adrien's only real dialogue in the penultimate episode of season five (full transcript):

Adrien:(Covers his ears.) I cannot transform... (Looks at his ring and tries taking it off.) Plagg: What are you doing?! Adrien: I'm not in my right mind. I'm too angry — at myself for falling short of Marinette's love, at my father for sending me here in London, at this stupid app and these rings that use my image... it makes me sick! This nightmare is giving me the horrible feeling that, if I transform, I'll get akumatized and destroy everything with my Cataclysm — Marinette, Ladybug... (Takes off the ring and hands it to Plagg.)

Switching back to Winx. After Bloom learns the truth about Sky, bad things happen because she's depressed. This results in her and the Winx going off on a journey to learn the truth of who Bloom is. After the girls share this big plot moment and Bloom gets her mojo back, the boys show up to be their ride home and to give Bloom her romance moment where Sky wins her back by declaring that he broke off the arranged married because he loves her.

Sky notably doesn't get an arc about choosing between his arranged marriage and his true love. We don't even know that the marriage is broken off until he tells Bloom because that was never really a conflict as far as the narrative was concerned. Of course he's going to pick Bloom! He's her designated side character love interest! He only exists to be with her. We don't need to treat this as a serious thing for him. The arranged marriage plot was never about him anyway. It was about giving Bloom a reason to have a darkest hour moment that moves the plot forward. Similarly, Sky calling off the marriage is nowhere near as important as him telling Bloom that he's called off the marriage to be with her in a grand romantic gesture.

This perfectly mirrors Miraculous' season five ending where Adrien doesn't appear until after Marinette is done fighting her big girl power fight against his father. As far as the writing is concerned, that fight isn't about him. His connection to the villain only really matters in terms of how it affects Marinette's actions during the final battle. Then, when the battle is over, Adrien shows up to give Marinette her big romance moment because, while the plot may be driven by Adrien's family, he is not a Winx club member. He's just a Specialist. Or, in the words of the head writer:

[image text: She's Barbie, he's Ken. You don't like it. I get it. It won't change. Anything else?] (The full, even more damning context of this tweet can be found here.)

What else can I say other than, "I rest my case."

Oh, and also that I didn't take this as an attack. I just thought it was a good opportunity to really dig into the nuances of this and what I was talking about in that original post as I never know how obvious this stuff is if you don't closely study story telling. As this case study hopefully shows, if a show is about a group of girl friends using the power of friendship, then their love interests may have important roles, but the boys are never going to be more important than the girls and most of the boy's screen time will be focused on romance and how their existence effects the girls because it's ultimately the girls' world. Without them, the show wouldn't exist. Without the boys? Well, then we just wouldn't have a romance plot.

[sophistired18]

No one talk to me. I fell in love.

[nemaliwrites]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Miraculous Ladybug Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Félix Fathom & Amélie Graham de Vanily Characters: Félix Fathom, Amélie Graham de Vanily, Colt Fathom Additional Tags: POV Second Person, Writing Exercise, Quintuple Drabble, Experimental Style, Implied/Referenced Abuse, POV Félix Fathom, Pre-Canon, Bad Parent Colt Fathom, Sentimonster Félix Fathom Summary:

Open your eyes. Breathe. Remember that you are alive.

--

so @torvalvt recommended me The 3AM Epiphany the other day, which is a book full of ‘uncommon’ writing exercises, and i decided to give it a try! 1 out of like...200 done 💪🏽

[skunkes]

might sound weird to say as a person with a couple ocs who have Big Horrible Event(s) in their backstories or as a person who has like 3 ocs total bc he sucks at writing and as a person who hopes their ocs arent too Boring with [the thing im about to mention] but the thing about writing [characters] and [people] is that like.

any little thing a person experiences can take up their whole existence... its actually something "fun" to experience as i meet new ppl and do more things. My friend had something happen that she'll be talking about forever. I had several things happen last year that ill never stop talking about, some of which other ppl think werent that bad actually. In the same way I'll forever remember about the way my sister accidentally insulted me almost 10 years ago, it's really interesting and Fun to find and assign smaller things like that to characters...its really Real. some people's dealbreakers are other people's solvable problems etc etc

[razzle-zazzle]

would you still love me if i was a corpse?

7361 Words; Cleaved AU (Show)

TW for discussions of death and allusions to corpsehood, brief moment of self-harm and tiny mention of blood

AO3 ver

Silence.

Only moments before, the night had been a riot of light and noise. The humming vibrations of the Rift of Return, the howling winds, the screaming light dancing across the sky—the ninja could feel the magic in the air vibrating in their bones, the Destiny’s Bounty shuddering against winds too powerful to cross over.

All of that was gone now. Silence reigned, and even the moonlight itself seemed to have been snuffed now that the Rift had closed. Only moments before the Bounty had been groaning and shivering with the impending crash against the floating island, and now—

Silence.

Silence, as Zane picked himself up and Pixal ran a systems diagnostic in the background. Silence, as the ninja disembarked from the Bounty onto the island. Silence, as the now-human former students of Yang milled about in the yard in confusion.

Silence, as Cole failed to appear.

Despite having the memory of a computer, Zane still had the heart of a human. Metaphorically speaking, of course—his physical heart was made of metals and wires. But his emotions were fully human, something the nindroid took pride in. Right now, as he replayed his memory of the night up to the point where the Rift’s closing had made everything fuzzy, those emotions were a chaotic riot of worry. Was everyone okay? What had happened to Yang? Was Cole okay?

“Where’s Cole?” Jay was the first to speak, the first to voice the fear everyone was feeling. He looked around at the Temple’s former students as though Cole would be standing among them—but Pixal had already run facial recognition. Cole was not there.

“He can’t be gone.” Kai argued softly. “It’s—it’s Cole. He’s gotta be around here somewhere.” He unsheathed his sword and squeezed the handle tightly. Zane could at least assuage his worry regarding the safety of the others—a quick scan revealed that nobody was the worse for wear despite being thrown about the Bounty.

“Guys, the temple!” Lloyd pointed, as the previously run-down Temple of Airjitsu suddenly revitalized. Withered trees grew full leaves, cracks mended over, and any debris covering the temple walls or roof seemed to melt away.

“It’s been restored to its former glory.” Wu commented, stroking his beard.

“If the temple’s back, then Cole—Cole had to have made it through, right?” Jay asked, leaning against Nya for support. “Even though he went through at the last second, and the RIFT CLOSING could have CUT HIM IN HALF OR OR—” Jay cut off as Nya grabbed his arm. He swallowed.

“This island’s not that big,” Nya started, “Cole’s probably on the other side of the temple, just fine.” Despite her words, Zane noted that her face was creased with worry.

“Yeah!” Kai added, already walking towards the temple, “Less talking, more searching! Cole’s gotta be around here somewhere.” And with that, the whole group spread out, making their way around the temple while calling out for Cole. Despite Nya’s words, the floating island was still large enough to house the Temple of Airjitsu and a sizable chunk of surrounding land—the addition of leaves to the flora didn’t help, either. Still, it would not take long to cover the whole island, and indeed, Pixal picked up on a heartbeat just past a copse of bushes. Zane walked around the foliage—

And there was Cole, sitting down in the dirt, hands cupped around the petals of a flower rooted before him. Zane called out to the others—not that they were very far away. Jay was the first to get there, falling to his knees and flinging his arms over Cole’s shoulders as he exclaimed wordlessly.

Cole blinked. The rest of the group was quick to crowd around him. Zane found himself pressed up against Cole’s side, helping him to stand. Relief flooded his circuits, even as some small part of him in the back of his mind stung with bitterness at once again being the only unaging ninja. He shoved that part down—it was more important that Cole was here and alive again, heartbeat and breathing steady and present.

Crushed flower petals fluttered to the ground as Cole stumbled forwards. Pixal made a noise at the detail, but otherwise said nothing. Zane pressed his face into Cole’s shoulder, amazed at how solid it was. Cole was alive!

Zane supposed it should have been obvious, then and there—but crushed petals fluttering to the ground were as easily brushed off as the blank look in Cole’s eyes, any and all notice swept under the rug of relief over his return to corporeality. Cole was quiet all the way to Destiny’s Bounty—surely, going through the Rift of Return after everything else had simply left him exhausted, and he would have all the energy he’d need to regale them with the animated tale of his victory the coming morning.

In the corner of Zane’s vision, Pixal frowned slightly.

+=+=+=+=+

“Now that you are finally able to taste again,” Zane started as he monitored the pancakes cooking before him. “I believe a celebration is in order. It’s no cake, but,” Zane paused to flip the pancakes, pleased to see they were at the perfect shade of golden-brown, “I know how much you’ve missed chocolate chip and blueberry pancakes!” With more syrup and whipped cream than Zane would ever recommend, but this was hardly the time to grudge Cole’s sweet tooth.

“Fuck yeah!” Lloyd cheered from where he was sitting beside Cole at the table. He nudged Cole with his arm, grinning widely. “I bet I can eat more cakes than you.” He teased. Zane fought to keep a chuckle escaping his throat as Kai and Jay immediately turned it into a full-fledged bet and then picked sides, while Nya laughed and declared them all idiots.

Cole grunted, staring straight ahead.

Jay chuckled uneasily. “Guess you’re still tired, huh?”

Any further conversation was halted as Zane flipped the pancakes out of the pan and onto plates for everyone. Fluffy golden-brown deliciousness dotted with blueberries and chocolate chips, two on each plate. Zane set them out before taking the seat across from Cole. Zane beamed; Cole stared.

Lloyd snatched the syrup and whipped cream, wasting no time in rendering his plate a sugar-covered mess. Jay grabbed the whipped cream next while Kai reached for the syrup—Nya didn’t reach for either, instead opting to draw the very syrup that Kai was attempting to drizzle onto his plate over to hers with her powers. Wu took a sip of his tea as the usual breakfast chatter started to emerge.

Except… “Cole, is something wrong?” He hadn’t moved to grab the syrup or whipped cream—in fact, Cole had barely moved at all, just… sitting there.

“‘M fine.” Cole mumbled, lifting his arm. Everyone leaned in as Cole reached for the syrup. Zane was particularly anxious for Cole’s approval—the loss of taste had led to Cole withdrawing from meals, and was a large sore spot for him. It would be so nice to see him indulging his sweet tooth again, to see Cole at the table with the rest of them instead of his empty seat.

The bottle slipped from Cole’s fingers. He moved to grab it again—it wobbled dangerously before tipping over, and Cole stared at it in what might have been mortification.

“Here, lemme just—” Lloyd grabbed the syrup and all but drowned Cole’s plate in it—just the way Cole used to like it. Cole’s hand landed on his fork as Lloyd applied the whipped cream until their plates matched in unholy sweetness. “Go ahead,” Lloyd nudged Cole, “enjoy being human again!”

Cole picked up the fork. With some difficulty, he lifted a piece of pancake, soaked with syrup and crowned with whipped cream. Everyone watched as Cole took that first bite, eager to see his reaction.

Cole dropped the fork. His face pinched—he swallowed.

Zane froze. Did—he didn’t mess up on the pancakes, did he? He made them the same as he always did—he took a bite from his own to confirm, and indeed, they tasted the same as always—

But Cole looked like he had just swallowed poison. He stared down at his plate like—like it had personally offended him—something Zane had never, in any memory he or Pixal could pull up, seen Cole do.

“Buddy, you okay?” Kai asked, placing a hand on Cole’s shoulder.

Cole jerked at the unexpected touch. He stood, pushing the plate away. “Sweet.” He mumbled, turning around and leaving. Zane watched as he left—it almost looked like Cole stumbled before he was out of view.

Ice crept across the table. Zane sat still as a statue, frost clinging to his fingers. He hadn’t made the pancakes wrong. What had just—Cole had never, in any of Zane’s memory banks—never ever—reacted like that to food. Being the Master of Earth allowed Cole to eat near anything with no problem—Zane had seen him eating peanuts, shells and all, biting through utensils on accident—and though he hadn’t been there, he had at least heard of Cole eating an explosive fortune cookie. Cole did not shy away from food of any description. The only time he had ever avoided eating was when—

Was when he was a ghost.

“—was that?” Zane came back into awareness to the sound of Jay speaking. Kai was blowing fire onto the table in precise streams—Zane realized, with some mortification, that he had coated nearly the entire table top in frost. He had let his emotions get the better of him, it seemed.

Wu hummed, stroking his beard. “It’s possible that after so long without taste, such a strong flavor would be overwhelming.” He suggested. “Perhaps Cole simply needs more time to adjust.”

That… would make sense. Zane couldn’t believe he hadn’t thought of that.

Of course none of you thought of that. Pixal said. Your excitement at Cole’s newfound humanity overrode any concerns at the adjustment. You really do care for Cole.

Zane chuckled internally. It was true, he had been excited. It had been too long since Cole had enjoyed Zane’s cooking.

Zane frowned as he looked back at the door. It seemed he would have to wait a little longer for that. He looked at Cole’s plate, almost entirely untouched, then at his own.

Zane didn’t feel hungry anymore.

+=+=+=+=+

Lloyd pushed the door open as gently as he could manage. He had kind of knocked, but also not really—not that it mattered, since Cole was just lying flat on his bunk staring at the ceiling.

“Heyyy,” Lloyd greeted, pausing awkwardly in the threshold. “You, uh, doing okay?” Ohhh, he was not good at this. This was something Kai should be doing, not Lloyd. But it was Kai’s turn to handle dishes today, and that always took him forever because he’d spend at least half an hour trying to get Nya or Zane to help. So Lloyd figured he could be the responsible leader that destiny wanted him to be, for once, and check in on Cole.

Lloyd closed the door behind him and leaned against it. “Sorry about earlier.” He said, for lack of anything else to start the conversation with. “Guess we should have realized that much sugar would be pretty intense for you after so long without…” He chuckled weakly.

Cole’s head lifted to peer at Lloyd. He was lying supine on his bunk, arms uncharacteristically straight at his sides. It wasn’t at all what Lloyd expected—Cole had always been more of a face-down or on-his-side guy when he was moping. Lloyd was pretty familiar with it, seeing how prone Cole was to depressive spells—especially as a ghost.

Like this, Cole looked stiff. Lifeless, even—wait, no, scratch that, that was an awful word to use.

The point is that it didn’t look natural. Cole’s head fell back onto the comforter—he wasn’t even using the pillow, what was going on—and he sighed.

“It’s Kai’s turn on dishes today.” Lloyd tried, slowly walking over towards the bed. “I bet he’s still begging Nya to use her powers to help him.” Any other chore, Kai could and would do, but dishes were like, his mortal enemy chore or something. Lloyd got it, though—dishes sucked. He brightened as he sat down on the edge, just inches from Cole. “Hey, now that you’re human again, you’ll probably have to do dishes soon!”

…Why did Lloyd say that? Was he stupid? Way to go, Garmadon, master of conversations here. Lloyd buried his face in his hands with a groan. “Shit, sorry, that was stupid—”

“I’ll probably break them.” Cole muttered.

Lloyd lifted his head to look at Cole. His expression had not changed, he hadn’t moved—Lloyd wasn’t entirely sure he had spoken at all. That uncertainty must have shown on his face, though, because moments later Cole clarified, “The dishes.”

“Oh.” Lloyd nodded. “‘Cause you’d try too hard to grab ‘em?” He asked, before pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration. What a stupid question.

“Hmmm.” Cole responded.

Lloyd winced. Wow, this was going great (it wasn’t)!

They sat there in silence, Cole staring at the ceiling while Lloyd marveled at the complete and utter lack of green across his skin. No more glowing in the dark for Cole, it seemed—good.

“We really are glad to have you back—not that you ever really left us in the first place!” Lloyd hastily added. “But I mean it—it’s great that you’re human again.” He placed a hand on Cole’s, smiling at the solidity of it. “That you’re you again.”

Cole jerked his hand away, face pinched. He rolled over onto his side, his back to Lloyd.

“Yeah.” Lloyd’s shoulders hunched. “Good talk.” He stood as Cole scooted further away, fighting to keep his voice from cracking. “Look, whenever—if you ever need—if—” He growled, nails digging into his palms. “We’re here for you no matter what, okay?” His words felt so hollow. Lloyd felt hollow, a pale imitation of everything he was supposed to be. He couldn’t even comfort his friend without somehow screwing it all up. What a joke.

He wondered if that was how Cole had felt as a ghost.

“Sounds like Jay’s starting up a video game.” Lloyd tried, ears twitching. “Wanna come backseat game him?”

Cole didn’t respond.

“Okay.” Lloyd opened the door slowly, casting one last look back at Cole. “Whenever you’re ready, we’ll be there for you.” Readjusting to being human must be way harder than they were all expecting. That, or Lloyd really did suck at comforting. There was no way Cole wasn’t devastated by his reaction to breakfast, Lloyd knew—ugh, if only it was Kai coming in here doing the comforting. He’d have had Cole sitting up and laughing again in a heartbeat.

Lloyd closed the door behind him with a grimace. Maybe Cole just needed some time. Lloyd couldn’t really imagine how devastated he’d be if he finally got the ability to taste again only for his first bite of something sweet to be too much. Yeah, Cole probably just needed some time. Kai would probably go in there if Cole was still moping at lunch time, and Cole would come back to the table to eat lunch and it’d all be fine. Yeah.

Yeah. Just fine.

+=+=+=+=+

“Dude, just go left!”

“No way!” Jay protested, continuing to move his character across the parkour. “I know what I’m doing!” His character then proceeded to miss the jump and fall onto the spikes. Kai and Lloyd shared a look.

“Suuuuure.” Kai’s doubt was palpable. “Just know that when you die for a stupid gold brick I will be saying I told you so.” And taking the controller, too—they didn’t play on “til death” rules regarding turns that often, since someone—Kai—tended to end up with shorter turns that way. But Zane was busy meditating with Wu after what happened at breakfast, and Nya was out training in the yard, and none of the boys assembled before the tv wanted to set up the timer themselves. They could have been playing a co-op game, or even just any old multiplayer, but Jay had gotten there first and this was the game he’d chosen.

If he was making more mistakes than usual because of stress or whatever, neither Kai nor Lloyd commented on it. Which was all the better, because Jay was not making stupid mistakes, not at all. This game was just unusually hard today. For some reason.

“You don’t need to get every gold brick.” Kai was saying, proving why he wasn’t the gamer of the group. “Just go left!”

“Absolutely not.” Jay said, finally making the parkour necessary to reach the hidden area. “Look at that! Badges! It’s totally worth it to explore.” He grabbed the collectibles, including the gold brick, and maneuvered his character back onto the main path. “Besides,” he added, “There’s no way I’m taking advice from the guy who always loses at Brawl.”

“He’s got you there.” Lloyd poked Kai in the side, prompting Kai to shove him away with a hand on his face. Lloyd retaliated by blowing a raspberry into Kai’s hand, and Kai gasped in disgust while yanking his hand away and it was getting really hard for Jay to concentrate with those two play fighting in the background, could they just let him game in peace—

“Hey.”

Jay yelped, nearly dropping the controller. He recovered, narrowly avoiding an onscreen enemy and hitting the pause button. Kai and Lloyd had gone quiet behind him.

Cole stood in the doorway before stepping forwards. He stumbled, caught himself, and grabbed the arm of the couch as though he might fall over. Kai scooted over, and Cole lowered himself down onto the couch.

“Cole!” Okay, near in-game loss aside, Jay was happy to see Cole up and about. “You feeling better?” Jay really hoped that Cole didn’t have any other problems adjusting to being human again—adjusting to being a ghost had been bad enough, and Jay felt the universe owed them all a win at this point.

“Not really.” Cole grunted, eyes fixated on the screen.

“Oh.” An awkward silence descended upon the room. Jay turned back to the game and unpaused it, letting the music and sound effects fill the silence. Cole became a weirdly looming presence behind him, prompting Jay to turn around several times. But nothing changed in Cole’s posture or expression, no matter how many times Jay glanced back at him. It was… weird.

“Soooo,” Lloyd said, more to fill the silence than anything, “Gaming! That’s fun, right? This is fun!” But the energy from earlier was already lost, and Jay felt like a jerk for it. Cole was human again. They should all be able to go back to annoying each other with backseat gaming and play fighting on the couch. Just because Cole was acting way off—

“I’m pretty sure I’m dead.”

Jay almost dropped his controller, fumbling to catch it and navigating back to the menu in the process.

Cole’s expression did not change, despite the ominous statement. Everyone was staring at him now, ranging from confusion to concern.

“Uh,” Kai started, “What gave you that idea, buddy?” He leaned forwards, placing a hand on Cole’s arm. Lloyd noticed—with some bitterness—that Cole didn’t jerk away from the contact.

Cole said nothing.

The silence stretched on.

“Ha,” Jay started, grasping for a change in subject, “Remember when we were fighting over Nya? Man, those were the days. We were both being so stupid over it…” He swallowed, and looked Cole dead in the eyes. “I’m just glad to have you back.”

Cole stared blankly. “I don’t remember that.” He said, with all the energy of a sloth.

“Oh.” Jay gripped the controller a little more tightly than necessary as his character took an unnecessary hit. “Like, not even a little?” They had joked about wanting to put the whole incident behind and forget it, but—no, surely Jay was just misreading an attempt at a joke.

“Well,” Kai interjected, “I know you remember winning the Ninjago Talent Show with the Triple Tiger Sashay to get the Fang Blade. Right?” He cast a hopeful look Cole’s way—surely, he had to remember the day he got his true potential.

Cole blinked. “I did that?” He barely even sounded interested.

Jay stared at the screen—in his distraction, he’d hit a game over. Kai and Lloyd’s faces fell.

“Cole…” Lloyd began, “What do you remember?” He knew how to walk and talk, so he clearly hadn’t forgotten everything—

“Dying.” Cole was staring up at the ceiling, now. “Dropping the scroll.” His expression didn’t change. “Last night.” He added, after a moment’s thought. “This morning, too.”

“And that’s… all you remember?” Jay asked. C’mon, this wasn’t funny!

Cole’s blank stare was answer enough. Jay broke the eye contact first, staring down at his controller. The game’s menu theme buzzed against his skull. It felt like an omen.

“Hey, isn’t it Kai’s turn?” Lloyd asked. It was, because Jay had hit a game over, but—

“I think Cole’s memory loss is more important.” Kai sounded pained. “What do you mean, you only remember dying?” He grabbed Cole’s shoulders. “You’re not dead.”

Jay nearly threw the controller to the floor. “Yeah! You—you went through the Rift of Return!” He was kneeling before Cole, who looked like a deer in headlights under everyone’s attention, Kai’s hands on his shoulder and Jay’s hands on his knees and Lloyd leaning in from the other side of Kai. “You’re alive! You’re here!” No, no, this wasn’t—Cole was gonna be okay. He would.

Cole blinked.

“Uh…” Nya’s voice broke the tension. “What did we just walk in on?” And indeed, Zane and Wu were behind her, peering into the room with near identical expressions of perplexion.

As one, Kai, Jay, and Lloyd turned their attention to the doorway. “Cole doesn’t remember anything!” Jay yelled through eyes starting to prick with tears.

Nya’s face fell. Zane’s expression melted into naked worry, and Wu began to stroke his beard. “Is this true?” He asked, though the expressions on everyone’s faces was answer enough. “Perhaps going through the Rift at the last second had… consequences.” Wu suggested, stroking his beard.

Heat pricked up in the air around Kai. The tv screen flickered, and Jay twitched. Wu sidled away from Zane as the air around him dropped slightly in temperature.

Cole looked about helplessly, before moving to pry Kai and Jay off of himself.

“Well, whatever!” Nya declared. She pointed directly at Cole. “We’ll just have to make new memories!” The confidence in her voice didn’t quite match the storm in her eyes.

“Yeah.” Lloyd agreed. He turned to Cole. “And maybe your old memories will come back someday.” It sounded more like a question, when he said it—but nobody challenged the notion. Wu even hummed in what might have been agreement—and if anyone would know, it’d be Sensei Wu.

Jay breathed, staring up at Cole. All of their history, from the stupid parts to the best parts—all of it was forgotten, just like that. It was almost akin to the night after Nadhakhan’s defeat, when only he and Nya could recall the entire experience; it had been jarring, to have memories that the others didn’t. But this… no, Jay wasn’t going to think like that. Cole was human again, and that was all that mattered.

It would get better. It had to.

+=+=+=+=+

Things did not get better. Cole did not get better.

If anything, he was getting worse. He was barely eating, he seemed to stumble every other step—Kai was pretty certain he wasn’t sleeping, either. He wasn’t forgetting anything that happened since the Rift, but—it was almost like he just didn’t care, no matter what it was. Kai hated that. He wished Yang was still around so he could punch his stupid face. He wished Cole had made it through the Rift intact.

Kai wished for a lot of things he couldn’t have, really.

It all came to a head when Kai found Cole in the bathroom at—well, Kai didn’t know the exact time, just that the sun wasn’t due to rise for another hour or more—at ass o’clock in the morning, standing in front of the sink with the water on full blast, hand in the spray.

Kai almost didn’t notice him there—but he could have sworn that Cole’s reflection had a soft glow to it in the unlit bathroom. At the sight of what looked like glowing green eyes in the mirror, Kai choked, flailing for the light switch.

The light was blinding. The water continued to pour as Kai stumbled back, moving to cover his eyes against the sudden onslaught he’d brought upon himself. Cole didn’t move at all in the time it took Kai to recover his ability to see.

In the bright light of the bathroom, any glow that Cole may have had was gone. It was probably just a trick of the light, if Kai thought about it. Cole wasn’t a ghost anymore—there was no reason for him to be glowing.

“Heeeey buddy.” Kai gripped the door frame as casually as he could manage. Cole stared back at him blankly, water still going. “Uh, whatcha doing with that water?” Man, what would it take to be able to piss in peace on this ship? There was always something.

“It doesn’t hurt.” Cole said, turning his attention back to the sink.

Kai chuckled awkwardly. “Course it doesn’t, Cole. You’re not a ghost anymore.” He walked over and reached for the faucet. “C’mon, let’s turn it off before Sensei gets on our asses for wasting water.”

“It’s supposed to hurt.” Cole said, as Kai gently pulled his hand away and turned off the water. “I’m dead—it’s supposed to—”

“Whoa, whoa, hey.” Kai grabbed Cole’s shoulder, looking him directly in the eyes. “You’re not dead, Cole.” His eyes narrowed as he spoke, something like frustration creeping into his throat. “Remember? You went through the Rift of Return?” He wrapped his arm around Cole’s shoulders and started to drag him towards the door. Pissing could wait… apparently.

“I…” Cole’s brow creased. “I did do that, didn’t I?” He stumbled on nothing, his full weight swinging into Kai as he lost his footing.

“Yeah,” Kai grunted as he caught Cole. “Let’s get you to bed, okay? Since you’re alive and all, and you need to sleep just like the rest of us—”

Cole jerked away, leaning against the wall. “But I’m not.” He whispered. “I’m not alive.”

“Cole.” Kai hissed. “This isn’t funny.” The memory loss was one thing, and the lack of appetite or interest was another. But this—this strange insistence on death, when Cole was right there, was starting to get on Kai’s nerves.

“I’m dead.” Cole repeated, hand grasping at the wall he was leaning against. It landed on a door handle, and Kai could only lunge forwards uselessly as Cole tumbled backwards into whatever room he had opened. Kai landed between Cole’s legs, the wooden floor rough against his palms. Cole scoot-crawled backwards—in the low light of this new room, his skin seemed to take on a very faint glow.

More than that, Cole looked scared.

“You all want me to be something I can’t.” Cole moaned, grasping blindly behind him and shoving his foot against Kai’s chest. “You want—you want me to be him.” Kai shoved Cole’s leg to the side and scrambled forwards, intent on scooping Cole up into a hug until he came down from whatever was making him freak out so badly.

“But I can’t be him.” Cole was saying, scrambling backwards and upwards until he was leaning against—a counter, it looked like—were they in the kitchen? “I can’t be him, because he’s dead and gone.”

“Cole—” Kai grunted, “Just because—” Cole’s hand shoved at his chest, and Kai stumbled backwards several steps before regaining his footing. “Just because you can’t remember who you were before doesn’t mean you’re dead.” Okay, so subduing Cole was a no-go. Kai raised his hands nonthreateningly, fighting down the urge to spark. “C’mon buddy, let’s just… calm down, and take a deep breath, okay?” He took another step back, but Cole didn’t relax.

“He’s dead.” Cole muttered, still pressed as firmly against the counter as he could be.

“But you’re not.” Kai insisted. Fuck, he was never good at deescalating—that had always been Lloyd’s talent, not Kai’s. “Look, it’s late, you haven’t really been sleeping—” Kai also hadn’t slept super great, if he was being honest. “Let’s just take a deep breath, okay? Get some sleep, buddy, you’re too tired to think straight right now.” Before becoming a tireless ghost, Cole would have made a joke about never being able to think straight. But Cole only stared back at Kai, hand grasping at something on the counter. With only what little light from the bathroom made it down the hall and into the room, Kai couldn’t quite tell what Cole had grabbed.

“No, you don’t understand.” Cole breathed. Was it just a trick of the light, or were his eyes glowing faintly? “Cole is dead.” He swung whatever he had grabbed forwards, his other hand moving to meet it. “I’m just the corpse.”

Kai lunged forwards the moment he registered what Cole was holding. He grabbed at Cole’s wrists—but the knife had already been plunged into Cole’s hand, sticking straight through to the other side. It looked like one of their good steak knives, too.

Kai wasn’t thinking. He tore Cole’s hands apart, yanking the knife out without a second thought about the potential bloodloss. “Fuck fuck fuck—” He cradled Cole’s injured hand in his own, almost dizzy with panic.

“I’m dead.” Cole repeated, voice oddly even given the knife wound in his hand. “I shouldn’t be here. Not like this.”

“Shut up.” Kai hissed. Fuck, where were the bandages? Not in the kitchen—the supply closet? The bedroom? Fuck, he should try yelling to wake everyone else up—

The tiniest trickle of blood traced a line in Cole’s palm. Kai grabbed Cole by the arm and began to physically drag him out of the kitchen, to where one of the medkits should be.

Pissing could definitely wait.

+=+=+=+=+

“Don’t mess with your bandage.” Nya warned, voice tired. Cole looked as miserable as everyone felt, sitting curled up in his bunk. Dark bags had formed under his eyes, and his hand was still bandaged from when he had stabbed it the night previous.

Honestly, Nya didn’t know what had gotten into him. It was almost heartbreaking, to see someone who had always been so strong and steadfast looking like he might fall apart at any moment. Cole hadn’t been eating, he clearly hadn’t been sleeping—he looked like he’d rather be anywhere but here, curled up on his bunk being watched in case he tried something else drastic. The lack of food and rest had taken its toll on his body, leaving his skin looking almost discolored. If Nya thought about it, it almost looked tinted green.

But that was just a trick of the light, because Cole was alive. He had just barely eaten or slept for two weeks. That was all.

Not that that was good in any sense, but—Cole was alive. He wasn’t a ghost anymore. He just wasn’t.

“What’s the point?” Cole grumbled, tugging at the bandage. Nya glared. He stared back and didn’t stop messing with it. “I’m already dead.” His insistence on that fact had gone from annoying to worrying all the way back around to frustrating, but no arguing otherwise could convince him. Even though he had a heartbeat, even though Nya could still see his chest rising and falling, however slight—whatever had afflicted Cole—whatever had taken his memories and scraped him of seemingly everything that made him Cole—had him convinced he was dead.

“Dead.” Cole repeated. “Dead, dead, I’m dead and gone.”

“Cole, shut up.” Nya hissed. “Don’t talk like that. We’ll fix this.” They did not go through the Great Devourer, the Overlord, Chen’s cult, the Preeminent, and Nadhakhan just to give up now. There would be a way through this. There had to be. And they’d find it, no matter what, because ninja never quit.

“He’s dead,” Cole said, ignoring Nya. “Dead and gone, dead and gone.”

“SHUT UP!” Nya huffed, leaning forwards. “You’re not dead! I can see you breathing!” She poked his chest, “You have a heartb—” Wait.

That… didn’t feel right. Nya pressed her fingers against Cole’s chest, feeling it through the shirt—

That… that didn’t feel normal. Nya pulled down the hem of Cole’s shirt, revealing just enough of his chest to see—

Nya let go like the shirt had burned her, and Cole stumbled back. She could have sworn that it looked like—but there was no way. It just—it couldn’t—

Nya grabbed at Cole’s shirt and pulled down the hem again. The shirt couldn’t actually stretch very far, so the moment Nya saw the flash of green again she switched tactics to just grabbing the bottom hem and shoving the whole shirt up onto Cole’s shoulders. Cole barely reacted at all—not that Nya noticed, when all of her attention was locked onto the glowing green gash covering Cole’s chest. It throbbed in time with the rise and fall of Cole’s chest, shimmering with unearthly energy.

Had that been there the whole time? Nya racked her brain, trying to remember any point in the last two weeks where someone—anyone—would have seen Cole shirtless. He hadn’t really changed out of his gi that first night, having been too tired… and everyone but Wu’s bunks were all in the same room, Nya included. Not once could she remember Cole changing without facing the wall.

The green gash seemed to flare, pale light dancing through it. It extended from just above Cole’s collarbone down to his stomach, jagged and ugly and rotting. Nya took the only course of action available to her. She opened her mouth, took a breath, pitched her voice—

—and screamed.

+=+=+=+=+

Everyone was crowded into the bedroom within moments, staring at the bright green gash across Cole’s chest in varying states of horror.

“That’s not natural.” Jay began to panic. “Anyone else notice that that’s not natural? Because thAT’S NOT NATURAL! IT’S A GIANT GREEN THING IN COLE’S CHEST!” Nya grabbed his arm, and Jay cut off with a gasp, still staring at the glowing green gash.

“This is a terrible omen.” Wu’s voice was thick with worry.

“You know what this is?” Lloyd asked, glancing at Wu before going back to staring at Cole’s chest gash thing.

“There is a rift in his heart.” Wu stroked his beard as he spoke. “Something has been torn from him, and unless it can be returned…” He let the words hang in the air, but the implication was clear. Cole wouldn’t be Cole until he was whole again. If he could be whole again.

“So how do we find this something?” Kai asked, gripping the hilt of his sword.

Wu sighed. “I… am not certain.” He admitted. “It is possible that whatever has been torn from Cole no longer exists to be found.” His voice creaked as he spoke, brow pinched in worry, nails quickly turning to claws carding through his beard.

“That’s not good enough.” Nya spat. “Whatever’s wrong—we’ll fix it.” We have to went unsaid.

“But how?” Jay’s voice was reaching a very high pitch. “Where would we even start?”

“Yang’s the one who cursed him in the first place.” Kai hissed Yang’s name like it was poison.

“But Yang disappeared when the temple restored itself!” Jay argued back. “And all his students went off to who-knows-where!”

Cole had pulled his shirt back down, covering the rift. “He’s gone.” He said, staring blankly at nothing. “Just give up and bury me already.”

“Absolutely not!” Kai snarled. “Ninja never quit!”

Jay stumbled forwards, hands trembling. “Please,” He gripped Cole’s shirt with white-knuckled fists, the fabric bunched in his hands. “I just want my friend back.”

Cole had nothing to say to that.

“We need to start looking somewhere.” Zane interjected into the silence. Everyone looked at each other, as if a suggestion might miraculously appear.

“We gotta go back to where it all started.” Lloyd suggested. “To the temple, and the rift.”

“But didn’t Cole shatter the Yin Blade?” Jay pointed out. “And without a Yin-Yang Eclipse, there’s no way to open the Rift of Return anyway!”

“It’s our only starting point.” Nya argued. “It’s where Cole was cleaved.” She clasped Jay’s hand in hers, grim determination etched into her face.

Jay swallowed. “Right.” He clenched his hands into fists, static sparks dancing over his knuckles.

“Let’s start getting some answers.”

+=+=+=+=+

The sun was dipping below the horizon as the Temple of Airjitsu came into view. The Bounty pulled up alongside it as the last slivers of light clung to the horizon. Slowly, the Bounty parked—Jay couldn’t stop his leg jittering with impatience as the gangplank extended to the floating island.

Why was this place still floating anyway? Jay hoped this wasn’t some kind of sign that Nadhakhan would return someday. Facing the Djinn once was more than enough.

“Alright, we’re here.” Kai broke the silence as everyone made their way across the gangplank, Cole following along behind Zane. “Now what?”

“Go into the temple, I guess.” Lloyd suggested. “We can start looking for answers there.”

With that, they all headed towards the temple. Lloyd reached for the doors—they swung open seemingly on their own.

“Oookay, that’s creepy.” Jay commented.

“Seems this place isn’t as empty as we thought.” Kai gripped the hilt of his sword anxiously. “Let’s stick together.” He added, to general agreement.

They all made it just inside the entryway when the floorboards creaked ominously. Candles set along the edges of the room that hadn’t been there before suddenly flickered to life, bathing the whole group in gentle golden light.

And there, standing just in front of the stairs, was the pale ghost of Kodakuna Yang.

“You!” Kai lunged forwards, but Yang simply sidestepped him.

“There’s no time for petty squabbles.” Yang hissed. “Your friend is unwell.”

Indeed, whatever was going on with Cole’s chest had suddenly escalated, green glow starting to eat through the fabric of his shirt.

“Do you see the new moon? Do you feel the winds starting to build?” Yang asked, walking in a circle around the group. Indeed, there was hardly any moonlight coming in through the open door—but wind was already creeping in, making the candle flames flicker erratically.

“Whatever you’re trying—” Kai started, stopping when Yang raised a hand.

“I’m not doing any of this.” Yang said. “Something else is acting upon the world, trying to get in.” He gestured to the floor, where the ninja had unknowingly smudged a massive circle. “Something that sings of earth.”

“How are we supposed to believe you?” Nya demanded, water swirling around her hands.

“You have no reason to, it’s true.” Yang admitted. “But Cole helped me come to terms on the Day of the Departed. I only wish to return the favor.”

The wind began to really pick up, now, despite the fact that the ninja were inside.

“You have to close the circle.” Yang urged. “Or your friend could be forever lost!”

The ninja erupted into a cacophony of noise. Could they trust Yang? When he was the person to turn Cole into a ghost in the first place? What choice did they have? What if it was a trick? What did they have to lose?

It was Cole who settled the argument, walking to the center of the circle. He bent down, gently touching the paint lines—green light traced its way out from his fingers, matching the green light of the rift on his chest.

The winds blasted into the temple, now, putting out half the candles in the process. The roaring din shoved all of the ninja to the floor. When they picked themselves up, they were scattered across the room—except for Cole, who stood unmoving in the center of the circle.

There seemed to be little other choice. They had to close the circle.

“Kai!” Lloyd yelled, “Relight those candles!”

“On it!” Kai started blasting thin streams of fire out at the candles. The winds tore at his fire, but he adjusted and pushed more into the fire springing forth from his hands.

Nya and Zane moved without needing to be told, Nya re-wetting the paint and directing it to rebuild the circle; Zane froze the lines in place the moment the green glow spread through them.

Another blast of wind rattled the temple. Outside, the moon became a riot of colors. Everyone stumbled to the floor, fighting against the winds to stand again.

“Close the circle!” Lloyd urged, fighting to stand despite the winds.

“But what if it’s not a good idea?!” Jay asked, only faring slightly better.

“It’s the only idea we’ve got!” Kai responded, shooting flames at the final unlit candles. Zane froze the final section.

Silence.

The wind wailed as the circle began to glow in earnest, Cole standing in the center of it. Kai’s hands burst into brilliant scarlet flame—and as he looked around at everyone, he could see their elements forming around their hands. By some miracle they were each standing at equal points around the circle.

The circle glowed a brilliant green.

Cole stumbled back—they all stumbled back as the glow intensified and lifted up from the ground. The air itself split open, the green glow of Cole’s chest drowned in the light. Several shapes tumbled from the hole in reality, and the green glow intensified to blinding. The winds roared, the sky screamed, the ninja all grabbed onto each other—

The shapes that had tumbled from the rift resolved into a pile of people, all groaning as they attempted to disentangle themselves. Above that, though, casting a flickering green glow matching the hole in Cole’s chest—

Jay gasped. The ghost floated forwards, staring at the body standing just before it. Holes ate through the ectoplasm of the ghost’s form, and it seemed to flicker in and out of visibility—

But it was unmistakably Cole floating there, staring at the body. Cole stumbled forwards as Ghost-Cole floated forwards, the two seemingly drawn towards each other. Both raised their left hands, tentatively reaching forwards until their fingers touched—

There was a very bright explosion.

.

Silence.

.

.

.

When the ringing finally faded from Kai’s ears, he sat up, coughing. Everyone else was picking themselves up—and the people that had fallen from the rift had been flung onto the stairs, still piled up.

Cole was kneeling in the center of the circle, staring at his hands. Was he… ?

“Cole?” Zane was the first to speak. “Are you—”

“I’m alive.” Cole breathed, as if he couldn’t quite believe it. He flexed his hands, breaths coming in harsh and fast turning into teary-eyed laughter. “I’m alive!”

It was at that point that he was dogpiled by the rest of the ninja. Cole laughed, bright and alive—as his family hung off of him, all of them cry-laughing with relief. Cole was alive. He was alive!

A jagged scar crept down the side of his head, and there was surely a similar scar across his chest. But Cole was alive, heart beating, breaths coming in and out uneven from the sheer joy of being alive again. Kai buried his face in Cole’s shoulder, pleased to feel it shaking with Cole’s overjoyed sobs.

Slowly, with great reluctance, they all untangled enough to stand. “I can’t believe it.” Cole breathed, arms slung over the shoulders of Kai and Zane—only because they were the closest. The group as a whole moved to head out to the door and regale Sensei Wu with their near-miraculous success—

“Hey, wait!” The ninja finally turned their attention to the interlopers, the bodies that had accompanied the ghost through the sudden portal—

The teenagers who bore a strong resemblance to the ninja, and were staring at them all with equal surprise. There was no mistaking the resemblance—not with the obvious color-coding.

Kai—the Kai standing next to Cole, rather than the lookalike in the pile—broke the silence first, and summed up everyone’s thoughts in the process.

“What the fuck?!”

[skoulsons]

“Ellie?”

She had kept herself closed off most of the day, doing as much as skipping meals, not sketching, and declining their routine movie night.

Joel turned the knob, opening the door only slightly. “Ellie?”

“What?” She bit. She was around the corner, still in bed.

He bit his cheek. “Can I come in?”

She sniffled, a mumbled yeah from around the corner to let him know it was okay. He entered, keeping the door somewhat open behind him. He found her on her back, covers pulled up to her shoulders as she stared at the ceiling, counting imaginary stars.

The look on her face was a sure sign, as any, that things were not good.

He sat by her feet, the corner of the mattress sinking down as he sat, her feet following suit and lightly falling against his lower back.

“Do you need something?”

Joel inhaled and exhaled. He kept his hands awkwardly in his lap. “I wanted to check up on you.”

“Why? I’m fine,” she grumbled, eyes still glued to the ceiling.

“You sure?”

She wasn’t. She knew she wasn’t fine. Every possible thought about Joel, Tommy, Maria, Riley, Sam, or Henry that wasn’t positive made its way to the forefront of her brain, twisting everything she knew about them. Making her believe things that she was sure weren’t true. Convincing her of truths that were hard to shake.

Everything is still so new to them. Young and needing navigation and direction. Their relationship and being together now, no plan in sight of leaving or disregarding the other.

She has someone in her life now who cares about her. Who has cared about her for over a year. Someone who dedicates every single day to being present. Who always makes breakfast for the two of them. Someone who holds her when she cries and who lifts her up even higher when she’s happy. Who carries her to bed when she needs it and finds her new comics when he’s outside the walls. Who protects her at every moment and encourages her to eat and shower when she struggles.

Someone who loves her.

And that revelation is what makes these days even harder.

“Hey…” he nudged, turning his body slightly more towards her. “What’s goin’ on, baby?”

Ellie sighed, closing her eyes tightly, waves of colors forming in the black of her vision the harder she squeezed. She opened them, her eyesight wavering as tears pooled at her eyelids. The imaginary stars on the ceiling kept her gaze, still avoiding Joel’s concern.

“Today just… hasn’t been good.”

And while he knew it, hearing it from her still hurts to know. Whatever happened, it hurts to know she’s struggling.

“I think it’s been little worse than hasn’t been good.” It felt inappropriate to point out her near crying and the tight-lipped expression on her face in an attempt to keep her emotions at bay.

“I’m just… having fucked up thoughts,” she sighed, tracing all the constellations she knew into the white of the ceiling.

Joel didn’t say anything. In all honesty, he didn’t know what to say.

Neither of them were the best at talking. Sharing something that pissed them off, frustrated them, or upset them and navigating that conversation in a healthy manner always felt like forcefully pulling teeth before they ever broke the surface of the gums.

Joel hopes his silence is an invitation for her to continue. He wants to help, to walk through what bothering her with her.

“I…,” she started, choking slightly on the syllable. “I feel like people don’t care. They don’t care, they don’t…love.”

Joel tilted his head to the side, eyeing her avoidant gaze.

Ellie brought her hand up and wiped it across her right temple. Her voice wavered, her lip quivering as she spoke, “me.”

Joel had an inclination, but hearing it still hurt all the same.

“I feel like people…” she paused, sniffled heavily. She lazily raised her arm off the bed in his direction, “you… don’t.”

Frustrated, Ellie sat up, her back making content with the headboard harder than she intended. She locked eyes with him momentarily before avoiding his gaze again, fixing hers around the room. Her dresser, a heap of clothes on the floor, her blinds, and the open door.

She stopped keeping her head upright and let the crown of her head fall back, banging against the headboard. She sighed, a wet, embarrassing laugh escaping her. “I… I know. I know you do. I do. But sometimes, I just… get convinced you don’t.”

She fiddles with her hands in her lap as her tears threaten to spill over, Ellie massaging her fingers and cracking her knuckles, even with nothing left to crack. She picks at her cuticles and nails uncomfortably, clearing her throat to get rid of the tight burning that has coated it.

“What convinces you?” Joel asked, his eyes looking twenty years younger—like he’s talking to someone else entirely. Like he’s held a similar conversation before.

His question stumps her.

And she realizes it’s nothing. Nothing has ever convinced her. Nothing could convince her that Joel doesn’t care about her. Nothing could ever truly convince her that Joel doesn’t love her.

He may get frustrated over something. He may be extra tired some days. He may spend a little more strength some days fighting his own demons that it’s hard to be there 100% for her.

But those things don’t mean he doesn’t love her. They don’t mean he wouldn’t lay down his life for her at any given moment. They don’t mean he doesn’t look at her with anything less than adoration, devotion, and appreciation for who she is. Who she is and what she has come to mean to him.

“Have I ever done anything-“

She cut him off. “No. No, no. Fuck no, never.” She threw the crown of her against the headboard again, a few tears spilling down the side of her face and flowing along her jawline. She hastily wiped them away, clearing her throat.

“I don’t know. I don’t know. I guess I… don’t think I deserve it or something. So I look at you or Tommy or I… I remember Riley or Sam or anyone else and I… I think they don’t—didn’t care.”

She knows they do. Riley—she knows. Sam she knows. Henry, too. Tommy and Maria—she knows. Joel—he she knows better than any of the others.

“I remember them or I…” she brought her head down from her gaze on the ceiling and looked at him, clearly, for the first time. “I look at you and I wonder why.”

She cries. Her lips pressed together, not enough breath in her lungs to combat the tears falling down her face and slipping down her neck, soaking the collar of her shirt. She wipes and wipes and wipes until her tear-soaked hands can’t catch anymore and they flow freely. She dries her hands on her sheets and it’s still not enough to catch every single one.

Joel moves quickly, his right hand lightly on her shin as he reaches his left out towards her, keeping it held right above her lap for her to feel.

She can barely see, and yet she reaches out, knowing he’s there. Trusting he’s there.

She grabs his left hand with her right, holding it until her knuckles turn white and it hurts. Until it stings and her fingers go numb. Until her hand shakes and the blood flow is cut off from her fingertips.

He moves his right hand from her shin to press a fist into the mattress on the other side of her, scooting himself closer to her. He settles closer to her, bringing his right hand up her shoulder and eventually finding its home on her cheek. He strokes his thumb across it, more tears falling as she leans into it. She turns her head into it, her lips in his palm as he continues wiping her tears.

He pulls his hand back from her face and brings it to her other cheek, sliding his knuckles across to clear the streaks of tears. He returns his hand back to her other cheek, lightly scratching at the roots of her hair on the back of her neck.

Ellie grabs the collar of her shirt with her left hand, wiping the snot from her nose and using any drier part of her shirt to dry her neck and chin.

Joel lifts his left hand to bring up to her face, but a mumbled, snotty no keeps it in her lap, Ellie still clutching it.

She continues to sniffle, finally opening her eyes to see Joel looking back at her, a streak down the left side of his face, right by his ear.

“I’m sorry,” she says, quickly averting her gaze from his.

He smiles slightly, rubbing those all-comforting circles with his thumb over hand. He brings his hand up from her cheek as she closes her eyes, using two fingers to drag hairs down her forehead and tuck them behind her ear.

They didn’t need to be tucked away—but the affection always comforts her.

She takes his right hand in her left, bringing it down into her lap next to their other hands. She watches their hands intently as she rubs circles on his with her right hand and he rubs circles on hers with his right.

“Hey,” he whispers, trying to get her attention. It does, and she looks up at him. The tug on the corner of his lips reaches his eyes. “You don’t have to apologize.”

“No it’s… it’s stupid. I shouldn’t be crying over something I know isn’t true…”

“You know it’s not true?”

She inhales a shaky breath and exhales one just as heavy. She focuses on it, keeping any other tears down as best she can through controlled breathing.

“Yeah. Yeah I… I know.” She pauses for another breath. “But sometimes it’s… fucking difficult. I don’t…” she hesitates, shaking slightly, “I don’t want to look at you and wonder why.”

She chokes, wiping her cheek on the shoulder of her shirt. She feels her back against the headboard and adjusts slightly, rolling her shoulder blades over it.

She looks up at him. His eyes still hold that twenty-year-old look. They glisten because of the tears gathered in them, and the loving smile that hasn’t quite reached his lips has already hit his eyes.

“I’ll remind you. Every day, if I have to—if you want me to. Even if you don’t, I might jus’ have to-“

She laughs—giggles—at that. He laughs too, the kind of laugh that resides deep in his chest. The one that sounds better through his rare toothy smile. The laugh she only hears so often. The laugh when he thinks he’s done something right. The almost triumphant laugh when he seems to have cheered her up.

Ellie smiles, watching his own unwavering smile. “You can, if you think about it. I mean, I won’t expect it every day. If you forget some days, it’s fine. I’m not-”

“Ellie.”

“Sorry.”

Joel takes note of her. The dried tears along her cheeks. Her red and puffy eyes. The way her nose is red. The soaked collar of her shirt.

He doesn’t want to see her like this again. Not over thoughts like this.

“Will reminding you help? You know… keep thoughts like this away?”

She opens her mouth to speak, but it hits her that she doesn’t know. She’s never been positively reminded, certainly not daily, that someone cares for and loves her. No one’s been constant enough to tell her the truths she missed out on as a child. No one’s stuck around long enough for them to mean anything. No one has ever loved her enough to say them and mean them. Nothing other than doubt, hesitation, or reluctance has followed such reminders.

“I don’t know. I think, I… I hope. I don’t know, I’ve… never had someone who did something like that.”

He doesn’t frown at the thought, but his smile fades. Sadness, disbelief at the thought, the truth that she’d never had this before. “Well… we can try it out. You can tell me if you hate it ‘n we can try something’ else.” He smiled again as he rubbed more circles along her hands. “Sound fair?”

She smiles, tears welling at her eyes again. One spills over, Ellie fervently nodding in response to Joel’s question before too many more tears follow.

He lets go of her left hand and opens his arm up, welcoming her in. She scoots into him, tucking her body against him. She lets her legs freely fall into his as she leans against his body, his right arm coming across her back and holding her shoulder tightly. She keeps her face hidden away as best she can in the crook of his neck and shoulder. Her right hand finds the bottom of his shirt, rubbing the fabric back and forth between her fingers.

Joel kisses her head, leaving his lips pressed into her hair briefly. “I just… I don’t want this to become something you know is true. Cause it ain’t.”

“It won’t. I… I know it’s not true.”

He kisses her head again, a muffled good reverberating through her. He rubs her upper arm a few times.

“Come here,” he says, letting go of her shoulder and standing up.

She smiles shyly, standing up and wasting no time to hold on to him, her arms wrapping around his middle and settling behind his back. She rests her ear right over his heart, the thump-thump drowning the world out. Drowning her thoughts. Her feet stand in between his, Ellie attempting to get as close to him as she can.

Joel, just like every time before and every time to come after, keeps a steady hand across her back and one behind her head, carefully threading his fingers through her hair. He tilts his head down, pressing a kiss to the crown of her head.

He sways them gently, covering her back in hand-drawn lines, circles, and a myriad of other shapes. “This is your first reminder.”

She giggles at that.

Something bubbles in her chest. A fire. Butterflies—as cheesy as she thinks that is—it fits. It tickles, in a way. It reaches her finger tips and warms her skin. It helps her breathe easier and keeps her heartbeat beat in rhythm with his. It slows her thoughts and relaxes her shoulder. It lets her relax completely against his embrace.

The reminder is there. The reminder of his care and protection, no matter what. The reminder of the steadfast, uncompromising, sacrificial love that he has for her.

[b4kuch1n]

took a mock ielts test today

[seventh-district]

not even gonna tag this properly bc i don't wanna get Involved but i do have some Thoughts i need to get out into the void so here we go

(aaa quick edit: CW for mention/discussion of Boothill leaks)

[gigantomachylesbian]

Guys. I did not know before now that writing could be painfully millennial in a full prose book but the pho*nix ke*per has proven me wrong and I have to complain about it in the tags

[mallach]

(Palpably delirious) yueah?

[memento-morri-writes]

It's been well over a week now (maybe two??) but I'm still plugging away (ever-so-slowly) at this vignette about Zara and Rook. Zara's POV is a lot of fun to write, now that I have a better sense of her character. Writing this has really solidified in my mind the kind of person she is and how she acted when she was Rook's captain and mentor. She's very calm and collected in comparison to Rook, even when under a lot of stress.

Anyways, have a little snippet that I'm proud of from today, featuring the origins of the coin trick!

Pacing back and forth across her cabin floor, she rolled the coin back and forth over her knuckles again and again. The motion was easy, almost mindless, more muscle memory than real intent. The coin trick had been her favorite way to soothe her nerves for years now. She’d picked it up out of idle curiosity after watching a street performer dining in a tavern in Bon Largo, who had chatted with her for over an hour as she fretted about something mundane, never once dropping the coin from their fingers. The same performer had later tried to steal her coin purse and ended up with nothing but a new scar for their trouble, but Zara had learned two important things from the encounter: Not to trust a warm smile and a pretty face, and that keeping her hands moving kept her mind from dwelling too much on worrisome things.

one-time tagging @space-writes because they commented on my tags about Rook learning the coin trick from Zara in one of my other snippets from this piece.

[ghosttrolls]

When I was a teenager, when I made this blog, I somehow always had a project going on in my mind. I had stories spinning in my head, and I couldn't write them down fast enough. But now im older and more tired and the stories aren't there anymore. How do you.... create things????

[sualne]

that guy