#well whatever the fuck weezer is

[camellcat]

starlight by weezer is such a post-doomsday tenrose song... every time I listen to it I just see ten curled up on her bed in the TARDIS desperately clutching at something of hers

[oozeandgoo-art]

[gracieblood]

it’s about fucking time i made a new intro post, so hi

last edited: jan 5th

ive gone by a shit tonne of fake online names in the past just to avoid using my actual name because i hate it. rn i mostly use red (because im a redhead. creative, i know). if you’ve known me for a while then feel free to just call me whatever ur used to i literally do not care whatsoever. i change this basically every week, but it really doesn’t make a difference to me.

currently matching icons with @cringelordofchaos (the silly) 😽😽

i am fully aware that i am probably autistic (thank you to the many people who informed me. i got the hint.) but i don’t wanna self diagnose

the only pronouns i use are they/them so please do not call me anything else.

this is mostly a fandom blog. i use it as my main, so sometimes there’s other stuff, but don’t expect much else. if you’re interested in my other blog dm me, but be aware there’s a chance i won’t share it depending on who you are.

music i like: destroy boys, msi, icp, weezer, femtanyl, muse

games: class of 09 - all games (fuck sbn3), mouthwashing, the stanley parable, cooking companions, omori (not finished)

shows: south park, uzumaki (as well as other junji ito creations, but i won’t list them all here. you know them), scott pilgrim takes off, tokyo ghoul, moral orel, the walten files, skins uk, arcane (also not finished)

theatre: heathers, book of mormon, school of rock, ride the cyclone, dear evan hansen, blood brothers, wicked

movies: scott pilgrim vs the world, superbad, orgazmo, heathers, team america, baseketball, cannibal the musical, fantastic mr fox, the corpse bride, nightmare before christmas

feel free to dm me or send an ask but be warned that i’m apparently quite mean sometimes 🤷‍♀️

[deadguywalkin]

MORE sebsamalex hcs because i am GAY and EVIL + music taste and bodies hcs

in a relationship together

sam bursts into song at any trigger word. alex joins in. sebastian gets annoyed. (affectionately)

sebastian likes his personal space. sam also likes sebastian’s personal space. 

sam shoves his hands up their shirts while they’re just talking. about anything. he’s clingy and needs skin contact 

‘i don’t feel like talking to anyone right now, but i guess i’m not opposed to silently being held.’

sebalex always do ‘the hand thing tm’ for sam when he’s overwhelmed or nervous.

“Alex save me alex” “WHO NEEDS SAVING?????!!!!!!!!🗣️🗣️🗣️‼️🔥🔥‼️‼️‼️‼️”

“i’m out of facepaint! gimme your eyeliner” “..no?”

tucking seb’s hair behind his ear before they kiss him

hands definitely go through sams hair when they kiss him

hands go to alex’s neck, shoulders, chest,… this guy gets violated compared to the cute hair touching honestly. 

kidding they also just hold his face gently. alex my love grbrbrgrnrbbrbfnf

alex has to take everything verryyy very slowly to adjust to actually dating a guy for the first time. 

he’s also very very surprised to be actually loved and known for the first time, ‘what do you mean you recorded the game for me because i forgot to…? bro, i’ll cry’

sambastian just constantly making out. any time. any where. gay emo boys who don’t care about their reputation sighs

sambastian also love giving each other a shit ton of prominent and visible hickeys to the neck, collar, shoulders and jaws.

general stuff 

seb unintentionally has very flirty body language. he’s just naturally a man whore. the way he moves physically is stiff but he still looks up at taller guys with half-lidded eyes while talking in a low voice. looking down at shorter girls with a soft smirk with his dimples.

samalex are unintentionally flirty vocally. “i wouldn’t want you to go hungry. i care about you. you should be eating well. we could grab some breakfast. you and me. alone.” “why don’t you come to my next gig..? i’ll save you a special spot. just for you.” which they mean as friends but they just don’t hear the underlying tones.

alex would have a good voice if he wasn’t constantly straining it, unfortunately he loves belting passionately and straining his voice for whatever reason

sam is actually GOOD at singing. he’s also a natural when it comes to anything that’s artistic (painting, sketching, music, etc)

alex snores LOUDLY sometimes

sam drools in his sleep also sometimes

sebastian does not sleep. or is never awake. what the fuck is going on with him

all 3 of them got something going on. autism+dyslexia, depression+some sleep disorder, adhd. soorgy :( i don’t make the rules it’s canon :(

sam has a little nose bump like this :3

——

sam: [insert sam talking way too much]

seb: *throws a ball* go fetch, boy

sam: *does it no questions asked, happily*

alternately he would also just feed him any chewy candy he has on hand.

——

sam: i can’t wait to see you again. i love you, alex.

alex: dued 😆 like in a bro way? 😆 i bro you too bro 😆

sam: alex, please be my boyfriend.

alex: boyfreind? like a boy and a friend? i already am! 😆

sam: alex, i want to make out with you.

alex: dude? takeout with me?! one step ahead of you, foods on the way! 😆

——

seb: i wanna grab a midnight snack

alex: you’re the midnight snack.

seb: …?ew

alex: sorry. i mean. um. sorry. i mean. dude. you are. um.

music:

alex: listens to ‘whatever comes on the radio while i’m working out’. hype songs that get him in the mood. also kebby implanted abba into my brain. he just doesn’t listen to music that much.

he’s also somewhat into the strokes, the only band he likes/is consistent with. (reptilia, someday, ode to the mets)

sam: high energy rock, experimental rock, and pretty much anything honestly. 2000s/2010s rock mostly. he listens to everything. anything that sounds good no matter what genre immediately goes into his playlist. he just has an ear for good music.

weezer

blink 182

sublime

the white stripes

wheatus

the frights

and probably every single music artist to ever exist

also sambastian listen to csh together. you’ll have to fight me on this and lose if you disagree

sebastian: grunge, rock, nu metal, general metal, emo, and punk. dabbles in some goth. mostly stuff from the 80s/2000s. he listens to ‘that one time your dad’s friend picked you up from school and played music in the car’

the smashing pumpkins

green day

siouxsie and the banshees

soundgarden

alice in chains

pearl jam

and probably a shit ton of underground stuff i can’t think of 

bodys /ref

alex: not much to imagine here since he’s very confirmed LOL god bless that 6’1 beefcake. dude’s a statue

sam: pretty tall. good looking legs because he was a skater boy (she said see you later, boy) perfect ass. some scars from skating incidents because he’s clumsy

not too much muscle but has that little vertical line down his stomach that indicates he’s growing some abs (not sure what the english word for it is) 

his arms are also pretty thick ? big ? idk

broad shoulders, nice legs and okay arms. he has some bandaids on him aswell because this guy cannot catch a break. he’s not boney nor meaty, a good inbetween.

a few stick and pokes ? i think thats what people call them like a diy tattoo

also his hips don’t lie 🤫

sebastian: lanky, slightly visible ribcage. he’d have broad shoulders if they weren’t slightly curved inwards from having shit posture all his life. upsidown triangle build. contrary to popular belief, he has some muscle in his arms. to work under a motorcycle on your back has to give you some strength. maybe a sleeper build.

cis seb has a very very defined addam’s apple

i can also see a different version of him where he could be stubby looking and have some chub to him.

i also think he’d have some tattoos on him. t-scars and a more defined waist if we’re also mixing in the trans hc. maybe bat tattoos or some kind of fantasy themed tattoos covering over his t scars?

bonus: 

them as kitty breeds

alex: bengal

sam: classic orange cat

sebastian: one of those rustic black cats with the orange patches

+ this image of soogyu is engraved into my head i think this is very them with seb.. the jacket sharing and sleepy head drooping sobs it’s them

shorter dump today aswell bleg

[funstyle]

ok dinosaur jr was Fucking Phenomenal as expected (possibly even more phenomenal than expected. couldnt feel my hands after. im really exercising self control by not writing more about it here) i was the only bitch dancing which was medium humilating but idgaf it's yalls loss its fucking DINOSAUR....🤷🏻‍♀️

Low Point: i was not big on the flaming lips in the first place and they were following the best half hour of beautiful noise of my life so i was like. well. maybe it'll be good. GIRLS......idk. idkkkk wayne coynes kind of annoying as fuck. he kept saying GO ON GUYS!!! SCREAM!!!! SCREAM MORE!!!!! KEEP SCREAMING 🤓 and the songs were all kind of mid is the thing. i never liked she dont use jelly. do you realise is just fine to me. yoshimi etc.. and there were so many goddamn lasers and balloons and inflatables and i was like......ughh i felt like they were in some way compensating for the music being not that great. maybe it's just cus im not into them that much in the first place but it generally just pissed me awf. THAT being said the best part by far was the dorky middle aged guy in front of me visibly having the time of his goddamn LIFE 🥺 shaking his fists in the air and hugging his partner and singing to her. like this guy was so purely happy it was amazing to see :) bro was radiating joy

weezer was doing too much tbh but it was kind of endearing to see them have some sort of goofy KISS-esque stage production. like why did this fuckin weezer show have a plot. it was rlly sweet tho and they played several songs i adore that i did NOT expect (burndt jamb 🥰 PErfect situation!!!)... lot of pinkerton they played fucking getchoo 😫... they sounded so so so good but there was this weird vocal filter on rivers like it was compressed or pitched up or something...yea. i was exhausted by the end but hearing only in dreams with my bf was extremely special to me :0) fun nite overall i know probably no one cares but whatever where else am i gonna write this. yeah

[lv3buzzz]

Frankie, my mate

You really helped me out when I was shadowbanned

( Well for starters, you told ke that I was shadowbanned and all the emotional support too )

SO PAYBACK TIME BITCHESSSS

A lil shitty powerpoint collage I made <3

Link to playlist-

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2pVjh7R28QDxDXx28YOMjL?si=-jBowIuWSPedn9xlp2XvFw&pi=a-uIbAM0XJRmWw

In laws should be like you fr

finally answering this instead of staring at it and giggling /pos

did all the necessary googling to help you win the battle against tumblr that i have lost one too many times

HOW IS THAT SHITTY?

EVERY SINGLE THING IN THERE IS LITERALLY ME

ITS SO BEAUTIFUL THAT YOU REMEMBERED ALL THAT?! IM DKSKDJDJ

THE MARAUDERS?? 70S VIVIENNE WESTWOOD?? THE SMITHS?? MCR?? HOLE?? COURTNEY?? LANA?? PERKS OF BEING A WALLFLOWER?? THE ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW?? MONSTER ENERGY (loml)?? CONAN GRAY?? WINONA RYDER?? KURT COBAIN?? CHAPPELL ROAN?? SIR CHLOE?? TODD ANDERSON?? JEFF BUCKLEY?? MITSKI?? THE LESBIAN ROBOTS??

all (mostly) small things ive mentioned to you and you still included them.

AND SWAGALICIOUS SJDJDJ. i think thats mt word now

AND I LOVW THOSE FUCK THE PATRIARCHY THUNGS ON PINTEREST. THEYRE SO RIOT GRRRL I HAVE A WHOLE BOARD FULL OF THEM DJDJD

thank you for loving my weezer blue buddy holly eyes 🙏

will male manipulate anyone /j no one can manipulate me cus im already one step ahead😔

I HAD A WHOLE HEART PALPATATION OR WHATEVER IDK WHAT THAT MEANS BUT IT CAME TO MT HEAD

AND THE PLAYLIST?? ITS SO PRETYYDYDUHDDJ

EVEN THE COVER IS SO ME ITS NOT EVEN FUNNY

AND YOU ADDED THIS SONG IS A CURSE. FRANK IERO MY ABSOLUE BELOVED

SORRY I HAVENT PROCESSED IT YET BUT IM SO GREATFUL DJDJJD THANK YOU SM???

[bummeryumedanshi]

hiii stoked fandom ^____^ i love music sooo hereis my music taste headcanons for the characteres...

reef:

-He would listen to white rappers. but not the eminem type i mean the jack harlow/tommy richman/yung gravy type

-Ohh i kind of dgaf about him. He would just listen to whatever is popping off on tiktok I guess

emma:

- any taylor swift album idk i dont listen to her but shes definitely a swiftie

-I haven't thought of Emma enough for her to become a lesbian in my head but if she was then i'd see her listening to stuff like P.U.N.K. girl by Heavenly

fin:

-she never grew out of her emo phase so she would listen to paramore and fall out boy

- Youuuuuu sink intooo myy clooooootheeeees...... This invasion makes me feel Worthless hopeless sick... Im so sick Infected with where I live let me l

-Clocking her as a musical fan idk why i just have a feeling

lo:

-lo IS brat 💚

-She would like azealia banks i believe

-Oh god anything that serves cunt really I love her thats sister

broseph:

-when kendrick lamar said "are you myy friendd?? Are we locked innn??" broseph would have went "yessss kendrick we areeee T____T" out loud

-Aside from being familiar with a lot of reggae music which I'm not that well versed in. I don't know why my mind palace is saying he would like ecco2k. Maybe that's incredibly wrong and he just listens to it because reef listens to it though

- i think he wiuld like gorillaz

johnny:

-He would tell people he likes artists like steve lacy to look normal in front of people but he would be a kpop gg stan on twitter under a different name and his pfp is his bias and he has all the other staff members preemptively blocked so no one finds out about his stan twt account

-He has definitely also had an emo phase so maybe him and fin can queen out sometimes

-Staceys mom has got it goin on.... at first i gave this to reef but its kind of not jock-core enough in 2024. i believe johnny would also be the type to enjoy a few white boy songs

andrew:

-God knows

-Boku wa naze... Kaze no you ni...

-in reality he wouldnt know what the fuck vkei is but its in his soul. (I am delusional.) In reality he probably listens to something completely normal like Radiohead

-I really dont want to say itbut he probably listens to classic rock

kahuna:

- He wiuld like ska music but i only know about ska music because of Sublime so what im saying is he would probably like Sublime

- ithink he would also enjoy a bit of 90s r&b

snack shack:

-weezer

[g0ttal0ve101]

🎶💯💤🎄😖🎮 for any of ur little shits :3

they are little shits………my little shits 🫶

TW: obsessive behavior, a lil suggestive, and implications of trauma.

🎶 - what type of music does your oc like? do they listen to music very often?

Sam: weezer/the front bottoms….like. mentally ill homosexuality shit. yes he listens to this shit 24/7….(he j like me fr.)

Evelyn: Beethoven? i mean what else do British people listen to? IM PLAYING-uhh probably shit like the cardigans/cults. and yes, she listens to music when cleaning :)

Thomas: Nirvana/Radiohead. yeah. it’s sickening. no, he doesn’t listen to music often unless it’s on in a party……

Lucian: he listens to literally anything. he doesn’t care. i mean like he doesnt really wanna listen to WAP or something but-yeah no he listens to whatever’s on the radio (he’s fucking weird.) and he doesn’t go out of his way to listen to music.

💯 - share three random facts about your oc that others may not know.

Sam:

1. ALWAYS wants to be riley’s type. so whenever she was dating jordan, HE WOULD DRESS LIKE JORDAN. if he saw riley spare a glance over at some girl, HE WOULD DRESS LIKE THAT GIRL THE VERY NEXT DAY. in other words he has no sense of style himself.

2. he didn’t ALWAYS have his stutter. it developed by the time he was six. also it’s genetic, not any sort of brain trauma or anything - his dad had a stutter when he was young too, but went to speech therapy and eventually fixed it.

3. speaking of which HE DOES HAVE A DAD YALL!!! HE’S ALWAYS OVERSEAS FOR WORK!! VEGA DADDY FOR THE WIN!! and no he’s not abusive or anything either lmao he’s just a busy man.

Evelyn:

1. yes she lived in the UK up until she was fourteen. she’s sixteen now. so she’s only been in the USA for about two years and she regrets coming.

2. she lives with her uncle alfie after the passing of her parents. he’s very distant and barely associates himself with her, but makes sure she’s well taken care of before she turns eighteen and gains all the money her parents left behind. so yeah he’s aight ig

3. she’s very good at horseback riding. (she took lessons from the time she was a kid.) however, she never puts any of that talent to use considering she HATES TOUCHING ANIMALS so yeah that ended quick.

Thomas:

1. had a prosthetic arm (left side) since the time he was nine. how did he lose the first arm? that’s a good question you should ask him!! sometimes it’s because of self harm and losing all circulation after trying to commit, other times it’s because he was kidnapped and the joker himself sawed it off. (he will never tell anyone)

2. he has his own band and plays at parties sometimes. the cooler thing is that david nixon is the drum player even though he despises thomas <3 but a deal’s a deal right? also it works out in the end for both of them bc thomas gets all the chics after singing and david gets all the dudes after playing.

3. a bit of common knowledge but - he has three siblings. an older brother, a younger sister, and a little brother. he hates them all equally. however, they aren’t actually full siblings. they’re all half. Adrian (their father) had babies with FOUR DIFFERENT WOMEN!! role model, am i right? also thomas hates every member of his family lmao.

Lucian:

1. LUCIAN WILLIAMS HAS A TYPE!!! fluffy hair, freckles, a grunge/gothic style, and FUCKED UP TEETH!!!!! GAAAAH!!! both his exes had fucked up teeth (aka sophia had braces and david was missing a lot of his), and now his current boyfriend does. (bitch is a shark.) like shit. he loves those fucked up teeth. <3

2. he has tons of scars. like. tons. and you might be thinking TRAUMA!!!!! bc yes. trauma. however, a lot of them are from him being a dumbass as a kid. he would climb the top of a tree and fall off it. he would swing on his neighbor’s tire swing and fall into a pile of hoarded trash with glass in it. he would try to pull a root out of the concrete stairs and slice his shins after he fell. he is clumsy.

3. it’s time fess up….he’s not a total skinny legend no mo. he works out and is actually PRETTY BUILT. he ain’t got no six pack or nothing but he has nice ass triceps tbh……..and that’s on having an axe as a go-to weapon <3

💤 - is your oc a light sleeper or a heavy sleeper? how are their sleeping habits?

Sam: pretty light sleeper. he’ll wake up whenever he hears footsteps, or when his curtains blow in the wind, or when the fridge turns on. he usually peeks under his eyelashes and then just goes back to sleep.

Evelyn: light sleeper. any little noise makes her sit up and check her surroundings, even if it’s just her furnace turning on. she’s still half asleep when this happens though, so she goes back to sleep pretty easily too.

Thomas: DEEP FUCKING SLEEPER LMAO. you think he cares if there’s a nuclear war outside his window? bro as long as it don’t make one side of his pillow hot…

Lucian: deep sleeper when it comes to noise, light sleeper when it comes to any movement in the room. if anyone touches him, he’s up. if anyone applies pressure to the mattress, he’s up. if any footsteps are in the room, he’s up. you get the point. he will jerk awake if he feels someone else is there with him. (trauma) it’s not so easy for him to lay back down either. depending on what happened, he usually stays up for the rest of night. (this improves if kai’s sleeping with him bc he feels safe.)

🎄 - what’s your oc’s favorite holiday?

Sam: HALLOWEEN! 🎃

Evelyn: EASTER! 🐣

Thomas: HALLOWEEN! 👻

Lucian: CHRISTMAS! 🎄

😖 - is your oc an introvert, an extrovert, or an ambivert? do they let people in easily, or are they more reserved?

Sam: not even a question lmao. INTROVERT. and he does NOT let people in easily. only if it’s a pretty young woman named riley morg-

Evelyn: honestly i’d say she’s an ambivert solely because she doesn’t care about being out in public. (she cares about the GERMS.) she doesn’t avoid talking to anyone but she doesn’t go out of her WAY to do it either.

Thomas: EXTROVERT? HELLO? HE’S THE LIFE OF THE PARTY. Thomas knows everyone and their mamas atp. he’s so extroverted that he would commit a crime in the middle of the street and no one would give a fuck because he’s Thomas Hall. and if someone has a problem with him, they’ll just be gone in like 2.0 seconds lmao.

Lucian: this might be a shocker but…introvert. yes lucian is definitely an introvert. he avoids crowds, he doesn’t like talking in front of people, and he definitely doesn’t like people acknowledging him. when he doesn’t know someone, he’s not all bubbles and flowers like he is usually - he’s on high alert. Lucian only shows his true colors around his friends!!

🎮 - what are your oc’s favorite hobbies?

Sam: Reading, mostly. His favorite genre is romance and horror so he can take notes lmao……….

Evelyn: idk what British people do to pass the time…..JK!!! Evelyn loves crocheting and sewing, and designs clothes for her gf a lot <3

Thomas: this man is so talented and yet his favorite hobby is having sex 💀-no but seriously. he can play piano, guitar, and drums. he can sing. he can draw photo realism. he can skateboard. etc. etc. etc. and yet he spends all his free time partying………

Lucian: everyone knows he loves gardening, but he also likes skating and coloring too. :33

[moved-please-leave-me-alone]

Ok not to be a boomer but I hate how albums have gone out of fashion in favor of singles.

Like. Albums are the way god intended for music to be listened too. And I don’t even like god!!! You play it on a CD and go on a musical journey with THEMES and EMOTION and WHATEVER THE FUCK. You CANNOT tell me that albums like fucking. Blue Album by Weezer (i don’t listen to many popular bands sorry guys) would be the same if it was just singles, or even just in a different order.

Albums make music into a well crafted art. Where the fuck did they go.

[paranormeow7]

Ok here it is

Ok so . Alberta Weezer. HAKLRJTLKA

Cw ahead of time for anyone else for child abuse n inhumane experiments death everything in that range basically . Also this is obviously abridged I'm one autisitc cat speaking take this all with some salt and homosexuality

Ok so <3 Albert Wesker !! To start off things there's the umbrella corporation, which is a pharmaceutical company started by a few guys but most notable rn is Spencer. As expected by a giant company they're fucking Evil Actually and Spencer strives to find out how to become immortal ! Fun. He discovers a virus that can grant someone super powers basically, if they survive it. It has a VERY low chance of not killing it's host and even if it doesn't it almost always leads to the subject being terminally ill. So ofc he decides the best way to test this out is to kidnap a bunch of kids based on their genes (basically set to be super smart from birth or whatever) and raise them to be perfect. The top 13 kids from this program, which while not gone into detail in canon is implied to be.. as bad as you'd expect and Albert's hatred of Spencer says a lot too BUT back to the virus shit. As a late teen Albert and his adoptive sister, Alex, who was also part of the experiment are against their will injected with the progenitor virus.

Albert and Alex are the only kids to survive the virus, Alex is left terminally ill and Albert... Is a success. For note Alex was the top in the project, Albert was the second. Wesker also isn't their real last name, project Wesker is where he gets his last name from as they gave all the kids that last name. ANYWAY after this, Albert having gotten a degree in virology by this point at the age of 17 because he's a super smart guy, he's then taken to study at the umbrella training facility up in the Appalachian mountains while Alex stays and works close with Spencer.

The head of the facility is fucking horrible, Dr Marcus experiments on his own students in. Very very horrible ways. Iron maidens, gas chambers, dissections, anything to study the way the body reacts to the new virus he created from the one Albert was given.. the T Virus. Albert is spared mostly from these experiments as he is deemed important to umbrella and made a head researcher by Marcus ! Along side other child prodigy William Birkin :] !! William is Albert's one friend ever basically, they meet at the facility and remain friends up until well. We'll get there. There's also only one bedroom for the chief researchers which is really suspicious what do u mean Capcom gay p

ANYWAY! Eventually Spencer gets too worried about Marcus betraying him and hires him to be assassinated and William and Albert r like ^^ yahoo yippie!!!!!!!!!! And participate in it and watch him die and everything but it's resident evil so he doesn't stay dead. BUT THATS NOT IMPORTANT RN William takes his research on the T virus and him and Albert go to work at umbrella for reals this time as the facility is shut down.

They work together, making plans to betray umbrella together. William creates his own virus, the G virus, and Albert goes undercover in the local cities police station as the captain of their special unit STARS. Wesker skips around with his team and they're silly and he says he never cared for them but he's really bad at showing that then HAKFJSKSN. Eventually Wesker goes through with his side of the plan, leading STARS back to the old mansion to test out the T virus's power and see if the monsters it creates can best military trained personal. William meanwhile is still perfecting G.

Things however don't go as planned because Wesker for Some Reason decides not to kill Chris Jill and Rebecca and instead leads them around and monologues to them at the end and Chris calls him pathetic it's super funny. Wesker gets pissed at being called out on his pathetic behavior and releases the T virus's greatest creation, a Tyrant. However the tyrant turns on him, impaling him and flinging him across the room.

There Albert is left assumed dead but thanks to his silly little virus he doesn't die. Chris and co kill the tyrant and escape while Wesker starts his recovery and.. gasps... His eyes turn orange and his pupils change to cat puipls. Catboy time I guess. Umbrella found out his ass was betraying them and locks him out and is SUPER pissed. This leads to them also finding out about Williams side of the coin, which leads to his assassination like.. two weeks later I believe.

That is when re2 happens aka the racoon city outbreak because Birkin spills evil virus chemicals everywhere after he's shot HEOTJSKA oops ! He also, before he dies, injects himself with the G virus in hopes he'll survive... He is not compatible. Williams body is slowly overcome with flesh and bone and muscle and eventually his body is no longer even visible in the mass of flesh. Its unknown how long he was sentient during this, but eventually he is for sure dead.

During all the chaos of this, near the end of things Wesker saves agent Ada Wong from death and offers her to work for him again, as she was his spy already, and she says yes. They leave racoon city before it's nuked due to the unstoppable zombie outbreak, and this begins Weskers real supervillain bitch arc.

Next game in his timeline is code Veronica but I haven't finished that game yet so I don't know everything oops ! Him and Chris fist fight though and he gets burned at the end and laughs evily and skips off I know that .

After that he shows up again in re4, where he's not actually there but cameos through phone calls with Ada as she works to get him a sample of the plagas parasite for his evil plans. In the original re4 he also has Leon Kennedys crazy (ex) old co worker working for him but in the remake Krauser works for the cult so shrugs pick ur poison. Either way, Ada ends up betraying him because she kinda goes ok ur a little crazy dude . And like yeah no shit . HELFKDPALALB he's pissed but like oh well he makes do

Now we get to his last game he shows up in re5 which I .also haven't finished HAODKGPSJALA THSRES A LOT OF GAME S but I do know a lot of what happens. Kinda. Wesker kills Spencer at the bastards mansion, but not after Spencer tells him Wesker was never important and was simply a stepping stone in Spencer's plans to become a god and that his ideals and plans were all his instilled at a young age into him. Wesker gets pissed and rips his heart out mortal combat style and then Chris and Jill show up and are like CUNT !! BIYCJ!!! and they fight Jill shoves Wesker out a window and they both fly out into the ocean sad anyway cut uh sometime later. Ofc they're both alive and Wesker has Jill working for him now as he plans to release the virus HE created the oroborus virus in his plans to basically kill everyone who isn't compatible with the virus because ? Idk tbh he's just having a hashtag girl moment idk man . There's also excella who is his right hand but she wants him really badly but he does Not like her back at all the scenes r so awkward I hate it

Anyway yeah as expected Chris shows up they have their weird gay fights and banter and all that, Chris and Jill stop his stupid plan and he gets super pissed and fuses with oroborus himself and attacks them. They end up in a volcano ? Idk how Chris punches bolders n shit in there and they knock Wesker into the lava at some point and he's like uhm this won't kill me and they're like ok and blow him up with rocket launchers THE END ding dong the bitch is dead . He is actually dead this time, sadly, because he's a fun and also funny villain .

Good lord I'm so sorry this is so much does this even make sense ? I don't know. <3 it's funny though and was written while I was half awake

no this makes sense thank you for enlightening me <3 wesker is so silly i love him

[heatwayve]

NAOMI & JOSH & ANGEL — DAY FORTY.

location : daybeds.

time : day 40, morning

summary : naomi completes her challenge by getting angel to spoon her and josh hates it

featuring :  angel / @dobits + josh / @graftisms

naomi: on the surface it seems like a simple enough task, but it's not like you go up to some guy who's not your boyfriend like, 'oh my god, please, spoon me, i'm desperate.' it's actually so silly, and naomi feels like she's got her work cut out for her even when she talks to callie about it – obviously giving her a heads up. she takes the opportunity when angel's alone on the daybeds, curling up close next to him. "hey," she greets, voice and demeanor all soft, though kind of a hard sell to seem like a girl in need of some comfort after the night she had. "i'm sick of this, both of us being, like, wifed up and busy. you gotta make more time for me," she says.

angel: “sup, babes,” angel says. then, tongue firmly in his cheek, “i mean, mrs. josh.” mostly ‘cause he has no idea what the dude’s last name is. in any case, he reaches over to teasingly pinch her cheek. at least she can admit to being wifey, angel smiles at their paralleled domestication. “i’m a househusband, actually. different vibe.” he’d been stretched out on his back, arm tucked back behind his head, but rolls to his side to give naomi his full humored attention. “m’kay, gimme the gossip then. what’s been goin’ on with you?”

naomi: "yeah, yeah," she rolls her eyes, a smile playing at her lips, "whatever, mr. callie." maybe they're not as official in nomenclature but they may as well be, really, and she'd fight him on that. teeth snap at angel's fingertips as he reaches over to pinch her, trying to bite back. "yeah, what's the distinction then?" she asks him, moving in close so their bodies are touching, her head resting in the crook of his arm. "please, everybody in the villa knows what's up with me. though, wait, actually -" god, she actually has such a story to tell him about a missing vibrator, but it's so not a spooning vibe. she needs to temper the mood down or she's gonna have him giggling instead, calling callie back over to conspire or something. she takes a breath, "if i ask you something, you'll give it to me straight?"

angel: “the distinction is that i’m a big, manly husband, obviously,” he says like duh. like it wasn’t just yesterday he was proclaiming himself jude’s wifey. well, naomi’s right about that, it’s hard to miss updates about her when josh is literally shouting them from the rooftop. he interjects playfully in her pause, “what? is it true you were dressed up in a canadian flag when you asked him to be your boyfriend?” words travel in the villa, for sure, but not before getting goofily jumbled. plus, angel just likes to tease her. he turns more serious at her question though, brows popping up on his forehead as he nods earnestly. “yeah, of course. what’s up?”

naomi: "right, so that means you . . . mow the lawn, love to grill, listen to weezer?" she asks, nose crinkling. the suggestion that she'd be dressed up in the canadian flag to dtr sounds like something out of jay and silent bob go canadian, eh? (real film) so she's got to roll her eyes, but truthfully, angel's not even that far off. but all the cringe was kind of worth it for the look on josh's face. "mmh, yeah," she nods, playful smirk tugging at her lips, "and i was covered in maple syrup, too." endeared by the earnest shift in angel's demeanor, she smiles slightly. her comfort around him isn't a charade, though she's subtle about the way she turns her weight, glancing over her shoulder at him. at what point does it start to count as a full spoon? "do i look a total fucking mess right now? rate these eyebags."

angel: “mhm, m— weezer?” nose scrunches in a mimic of her’s. “iron maiden, baby. does your old man listen to weezer?” that would be hilarious, especially considering who her dad is (whose identity he’s learned since casa). there’s a distinct sweetness to her smile, probably not even related to the supposed syrup. he’s surprised she doesn’t argue that he was the one to ask her to be official, obviously. something cute about that, too. “awww,” angel squeezes her upper arm, shaking her a bit, before he lets it lay awkwardly between their bodies. he snorts some at her question, his arm still a barrier between them as he tries to lean over her shoulder to be able to get a look. “naomi — jesus, i can barely even see you.” it’s not as if they both aren’t touchy feely people, he’s not really thinking twice about it except that maybe she is trying to hide something with her back to him. he’s chuckling patiently. “the hell are you doing? swear, i’m getting flash backs to when we shared a bed.” with her pointing the opposite way and angel probably taking up too much room, except now there’s proximity. “of course you don’t have eyebags.”

naomi: "well, no. but he doesn't mow the lawn or like to grill either," she adds. she's basing this off daytime comedies. "he likes italian operas. you can have that one for free, in case they have another islander trivia night," she adds with a wry smile, the first indication that she might be slightly bitter about the last one. "shut the fuck up," naomi says, though he's barely said anything, his perception of her and the possibly adorable nature of her current relationship status makes her blush. "nuh-uh, if you were getting flashbacks, you'd be starfishing right now," king of taking up space. "i'm just actually so exhausted, i feel like it shows," she sighs, shifting her weight back against him, hoping she sounds pathetic enough to be taken seriously for the allotted time before she can pop up with a surprising amount of energy. "can you just hold me for a sec?"

angel: “oh, right, yeah. who doesn’t get down with an italian opera?” chock full of sarcasm. “man, really hoping we don’t. think we all know each other a little too well now.” at least they can rest easy knowing there won’t be another movie night, though, with that consideration, angel’s a little wary what people might do with that knowledge. “hey, i gave you plenty of room. you only take up, like, this much space anyway,” he argues, fingers pinching a teeny bit of air. it’s a far cry from sleeping with callie, both of them tangled up in each other. angel frowns a bit, is about to offer to give her space to sleep when she poses her question. “oh —,” he naturally gives pause to the newness of this kinda favor coming from naomi. but far be it from angel not to cuddle. “yeah,” he says softer, vaguely confused, like when he’s trying to figure out what one of his little cousins are wanting from him. in any case, he throws an arm over naomi and scoops her into his chest, his head still inclined up a bit so he can see just the edge of her profile. “everything’s good, right?”

naomi: "i only took up that much space because you were taking up the rest," she retorts, flicking at his pinched fingers. honestly, it's a funny comparison that in casa, naomi flirted with angel on the first day and callie compared angel to her brother. now, angel feels like family to naomi and callie's railing him in the hideaway. his reaction to her request is so endearing, unexpected, especially because she would've never asked something like this of him – to be held – without prompting from producers. she feels so when he wraps his arms around her without question, almost feeling guilty that she'd pictured it like a challenge. "yeah," she nods, "everything's good, i swear." she makes eye contact with adela as she walks by and flashes her a grin and a tiny thumbs-up close to her chest, like, victory, bitch. "you can go now, if you want, i'm like, two seconds from crashing."

josh: he's walking by, minding his own business, used to the tangle of limbs that usually decorate the daybeds. but it's the sight of naomi's face that makes him do a double take, pressed against—fuck, what's that guy's name again? jenny's back-up guard dog, if last night was any indication of it. he doesn't mean to interrupt them, but by the time he recognizes what's going on he's stopped in front of the bed, eyes narrowed despite trying to not completely lose his cool. is this what having a girlfriend means, that she can press her ass against any other guy and it be okay? it doesn't help that he catches the tail end of the grin meant for adela, assuming it's because of angel. "what's so funny?" he asks, with only a little snark. he's trying to check himself, fully aware of how much of a mug he looks like right now, towering over them. "oh sorry, am i interrupting something? i can go." doesn't this guy have a girlfriend? ffs.

angel: it seems like naomi’s halfway to lullaby lane by the way she keeps her back to him, so he’s keen to give her the space she asks for. naturally, it’s then that josh throws a snarky (but only a little) shadow over them. angel’s aware of how it might look, he’s also aware that josh might still be bent out of shape by the presumably un-fun night he promoted for himself, so angel’s willing not to make matters worse. “no, no,” he tells josh as he carefully snakes his arm out from under naomi’s head before leaning over to smack a kiss against her cheek. “don’t throw me in a locker, i’m goin’, swear,” angel tries to show him a smile to imply his joke as he lifts himself off the daybed, then amiably taps josh’s arm. “she was just saying she was, like, mad tired. you two kids feel better, ‘kay?”

naomi: she has to fight the urge to literally facepalm when she hears josh's voice. she thought she'd been more tactical – trying to be quick about this while josh was inside somewhere so she could just regale him with the funny story about it later. maybe on the dance floor at tonight's party. "seriously, don't go," naomi's lips turn downward into a pout as she sits up a little on the daybed, positioning her arms so they push her chest up – like maybe he'll forget to be pissed (or at least he might forget to bother with angel) if she uses the right distraction. she reaches her hand out, beckoning him closer, "c'mere."

josh: "who, me?" a hand reaches out like he's gonna grab her, until it dramatically splays across his chest instead. his head makes a show of moving around, watching angel walk away (completely ignoring him as he got up) and looking around to see if there's anyone else nearby. "i thought you wanted him not to leave," he nods in angel's direction, voice a little too breezy. "it's okay, i can get someone else for you. dylan's gotta be around here somewhere."

naomi: jaw drops comically when he fakes her out, a scoff of disbelief on her lips as she tries to keep from grinning at him. naomi can't help but be amused by the dramatics, because from her vantage point, it's all so silly.  "oh my god, i literally just told him to go," she says, getting up on her knees so that she has the vantage point to try and reach for his hand again, to try and reel him back toward her. "don't be a prick," she's choosing not to play into the low blow any further than that considering the circumstances, "you might as well stick around because i'm not gonna let you go anywhere." she ducks her head slightly to hold his gaze, wishing there was a chill way to tell him to just trust her. "please," is her best attempt, a word she doesn't use too often. "stay."

josh: damnit, why is she smiling? now he wants to smile, momentarily forgetting the whole point of being mad at her for being pressed against some other dude, especially when she's looking up at him like that. stifling an exasperated groan in the back of his throat, he comes a little closer until his knees are nearly against the daybed, reaching down to hook two fingers to the bottom of her chin, drawing her a little closer. when she's looking at him like this, on her knees, it does help his mood. "you're not gonna let me go anywhere?" he scoffs, not sure if he should be entertained or annoyed. he's mostly the latter, but her shamelessness in this moment makes him feel like he's missing something. "you gonna tell me what the hell that was about?" his voice drops a little, not trying to make a scene of the scene he already caused.

naomi: "nope, no bailing now," she says this matter-of-factly, arms snaking around his waist as she rests her chin on his chest. there's still that smile tugging at the corners of her lips, especially as she watches him fight to keep his annoyed resolve. her gaze darkens a little as she looks up at him through her lashes, honestly a bit turned on that he's gotten all bothered about this – she wouldn't like the alternative. "josh," his name comes out like a sigh, though it's a little bit of a placeholder to give her an extra second to gather her words. "we were just laying out and talking, and i started falling asleep. like, it was a late night. i barely realized," she explains, as if she didn't specifically ask angel to hold her. but hey, she's already lying, so might as well. as hot as the edge to his voice is, she doesn't want him pissy at her all day over a stupid challenge. "i'm sorry, i totally wasn't thinking."

josh: josh sees through the puppy dog eyes, he really does. he can only assume that she's laying her charm on thick because she knows he's in the right and doesn't want to admit it. he just wishes that her look wasn't so effective on him, having to glance away to keep any semblance of cool, even if his hand reaches down to run his fingers through her hair—not particularly lightly. jaw tightens slightly at her comment, because it's not like he enjoys hearing that she was sleeping with some other dude, even if it was platonically (or he can only hope it was).  "he was putting you to sleep, then?" josh snorts (derogatory), finally looking back down at her. his hands move to grip the side of her face, two fingers pinching her cheek. "i'm also tired, you know," he says, voice low, "because someone kept me up all night. maybe i should go nap... you think adela's available for a spoon?"

naomi: a low, frustrated moan builds from the back of her throat as he tugs at her hair, surprising even herself with the sound – she didn't expect him to be so rough with her. maybe that's why she expected him to say something more possessive, rather than bringing up another girl. there's hurt that briefly flashes through her eyes before they fill with fire, aware that dare or not, she wouldn't have intended to hurt him. "angel and i are friends. he's just someone i'm comfortable around – it's platonic," she clarifies, because she hadn't really thought that she needed to until now. she doesn't make jokes about fucking him. "is that really what you want to do? you wanna go?" she hopes to call his bluff, her hand reaching up toward her face to touch his. "because i can find someone else to put their hands on me, but if you just don't want anyone else to touch, then say that," her voice is low, more honeyed than it is aggressive though it's not without a certain edge. naomi's gaze meets his as she guides his hand lower so that he can feel her pulse, the rise and fall of her chest – and then she reels back slowly, falling back onto the mattress so she's just propped up by her elbows, looking up at him with dark eyes. "so, which is it?"

josh: "adela and i are friends, too," he counters, "platonic." does platonic count if you wanted to fuck them at one point? it doesn't really matter, because josh thinks he can tell from the look in naomi's eyes that he had made his point. or maybe it's just because he doesn't actually want to go right now, the air between them crackling with intensity—the sexy kind. josh's eyes darken as he looks down at her, holding himself back from touching her exactly how he wants to right now, because of the vague recollection that they're in public. but it's hard for him not to want to react physically when she talks about other people touching her, even if josh knows she doesn't actually mean it. he can feel the rise and fall of her chest beneath the palm of his hand, his own breathing beginning to match hers, even their heartbeats feeling in sync. sometimes it feels like they know each other so well, josh can anticipate her moves; so when she abruptly pulls away to make her point, it doesn't even surprise him. her elbows have only touched the mattress for a beat before he's grabbing her by the ankle and pulling her towards the edge of the bed he's still standing in front of, so when he finally kneels onto it her body's pinned between him, and he's towering over her. "i wasn't aware i needed to clarify that, as your boyfriend." the word feels pointed, but it's only because josh is still trying it on for size. it fits like a new sweater, needing a few more cycles in the wash before it fits snug. "but fine," hands find hers to pin them against the mattress, fingers interlocking with her own, "i don't want anyone else to put their hands on you. least of all some fucking guy." sorry to angel, but he's just some dude. the bottom half of him leans down so their hips are pressed together, and josh gives her a serious look. "okay?"

naomi: god, she's going to owe angel such a massive apology later. if he'll even hear her out, that is, considering he's just been upgraded (or downgraded?) from mere challenge target to foreplay. she's got twice as much to talk to him about now. still, it's hard not to feel like she's won when josh's eyes go dark and he doesn't pull his hand away from her. naomi's usually turned on when josh is pissed, but usually she's pissed too and trying to hold back. this is kind of fun, feels like a new range of territory for them, and her eyes are charting out all of his mannerisms in a new light, the way his jaw tightens, raising the vein in his neck. there's a gasp from her lips that dissolves into surprised laughter as josh tugs her across the mattress, and she's equal parts turned on and amused by josh's macho display of bravado an utter seriousness over the whole situation – one that she has the perspective of knowing that there's absolutely nothing for him to worry about. she's so aware that he's absolutely going to kick himself over this later. naomi's quiet again as he leans closer, gaze flickering between his eyes and his mouth, not sure where to look as he pins her hands above her head. naomi's tongue swipes across her lips to wet them as she nods, wishing that she could lean up to kiss him in this moment, but she doesn't have the range of motion while she's pinned underneath him. her only weapon is her ability to carve her hips into his, which she does, slow and teasing. "okay, baby," her tone is placating, but a little breathless, "you're the only one." she has no idea if the rest of the villa can see them, but she does have the teeniest bit of self-awareness, and interest in more privacy. "now," her tone is measured, wrists tugging lightly to test his grip, "will you take me inside and prove it?"

josh: they go inside and bang.

[down-thedrain]

Ok so . Alberta Weezer. HAKLRJTLKA

Cw ahead of time for anyone else for child abuse n inhumane experiments death everything in that range basically . Also this is obviously abridged I'm one autisitc cat speaking take this all with some salt and homosexuality

Ok so <3 Albert Wesker !! To start off things there's the umbrella corporation, which is a pharmaceutical company started by a few guys but most notable rn is Spencer. As expected by a giant company they're fucking Evil Actually and Spencer strives to find out how to become immortal ! Fun. He discovers a virus that can grant someone super powers basically, if they survive it. It has a VERY low chance of not killing it's host and even if it doesn't it almost always leads to the subject being terminally ill. So ofc he decides the best way to test this out is to kidnap a bunch of kids based on their genes (basically set to be super smart from birth or whatever) and raise them to be perfect. The top 13 kids from this program, which while not gone into detail in canon is implied to be.. as bad as you'd expect and Albert's hatred of Spencer says a lot too BUT back to the virus shit. As a late teen Albert and his adoptive sister, Alex, who was also part of the experiment are against their will injected with the progenitor virus.

Albert and Alex are the only kids to survive the virus, Alex is left terminally ill and Albert... Is a success. For note Alex was the top in the project, Albert was the second. Wesker also isn't their real last name, project Wesker is where he gets his last name from as they gave all the kids that last name. ANYWAY after this, Albert having gotten a degree in virology by this point at the age of 17 because he's a super smart guy, he's then taken to study at the umbrella training facility up in the Appalachian mountains while Alex stays and works close with Spencer.

The head of the facility is fucking horrible, Dr Marcus experiments on his own students in. Very very horrible ways. Iron maidens, gas chambers, dissections, anything to study the way the body reacts to the new virus he created from the one Albert was given.. the T Virus. Albert is spared mostly from these experiments as he is deemed important to umbrella and made a head researcher by Marcus ! Along side other child prodigy William Birkin :] !! William is Albert's one friend ever basically, they meet at the facility and remain friends up until well. We'll get there. There's also only one bedroom for the chief researchers which is really suspicious what do u mean Capcom gay p

ANYWAY! Eventually Spencer gets too worried about Marcus betraying him and hires him to be assassinated and William and Albert r like ^^ yahoo yippie!!!!!!!!!! And participate in it and watch him die and everything but it's resident evil so he doesn't stay dead. BUT THATS NOT IMPORTANT RN William takes his research on the T virus and him and Albert go to work at umbrella for reals this time as the facility is shut down.

They work together, making plans to betray umbrella together. William creates his own virus, the G virus, and Albert goes undercover in the local cities police station as the captain of their special unit STARS. Wesker skips around with his team and they're silly and he says he never cared for them but he's really bad at showing that then HAKFJSKSN. Eventually Wesker goes through with his side of the plan, leading STARS back to the old mansion to test out the T virus's power and see if the monsters it creates can best military trained personal. William meanwhile is still perfecting G.

Things however don't go as planned because Wesker for Some Reason decides not to kill Chris Jill and Rebecca and instead leads them around and monologues to them at the end and Chris calls him pathetic it's super funny. Wesker gets pissed at being called out on his pathetic behavior and releases the T virus's greatest creation, a Tyrant. However the tyrant turns on him, impaling him and flinging him across the room.

There Albert is left assumed dead but thanks to his silly little virus he doesn't die. Chris and co kill the tyrant and escape while Wesker starts his recovery and.. gasps... His eyes turn orange and his pupils change to cat puipls. Catboy time I guess. Umbrella found out his ass was betraying them and locks him out and is SUPER pissed. This leads to them also finding out about Williams side of the coin, which leads to his assassination like.. two weeks later I believe.

That is when re2 happens aka the racoon city outbreak because Birkin spills evil virus chemicals everywhere after he's shot HEOTJSKA oops ! He also, before he dies, injects himself with the G virus in hopes he'll survive... He is not compatible. Williams body is slowly overcome with flesh and bone and muscle and eventually his body is no longer even visible in the mass of flesh. Its unknown how long he was sentient during this, but eventually he is for sure dead.

During all the chaos of this, near the end of things Wesker saves agent Ada Wong from death and offers her to work for him again, as she was his spy already, and she says yes. They leave racoon city before it's nuked due to the unstoppable zombie outbreak, and this begins Weskers real supervillain bitch arc.

Next game in his timeline is code Veronica but I haven't finished that game yet so I don't know everything oops ! Him and Chris fist fight though and he gets burned at the end and laughs evily and skips off I know that .

After that he shows up again in re4, where he's not actually there but cameos through phone calls with Ada as she works to get him a sample of the plagas parasite for his evil plans. In the original re4 he also has Leon Kennedys crazy (ex) old co worker working for him but in the remake Krauser works for the cult so shrugs pick ur poison. Either way, Ada ends up betraying him because she kinda goes ok ur a little crazy dude . And like yeah no shit . HELFKDPALALB he's pissed but like oh well he makes do

Now we get to his last game he shows up in re5 which I .also haven't finished HAODKGPSJALA THSRES A LOT OF GAME S but I do know a lot of what happens. Kinda. Wesker kills Spencer at the bastards mansion, but not after Spencer tells him Wesker was never important and was simply a stepping stone in Spencer's plans to become a god and that his ideals and plans were all his instilled at a young age into him. Wesker gets pissed and rips his heart out mortal combat style and then Chris and Jill show up and are like CUNT !! BIYCJ!!! and they fight Jill shoves Wesker out a window and they both fly out into the ocean sad anyway cut uh sometime later. Ofc they're both alive and Wesker has Jill working for him now as he plans to release the virus HE created the oroborus virus in his plans to basically kill everyone who isn't compatible with the virus because ? Idk tbh he's just having a hashtag girl moment idk man . There's also excella who is his right hand but she wants him really badly but he does Not like her back at all the scenes r so awkward I hate it

Anyway yeah as expected Chris shows up they have their weird gay fights and banter and all that, Chris and Jill stop his stupid plan and he gets super pissed and fuses with oroborus himself and attacks them. They end up in a volcano ? Idk how Chris punches bolders n shit in there and they knock Wesker into the lava at some point and he's like uhm this won't kill me and they're like ok and blow him up with rocket launchers THE END ding dong the bitch is dead . He is actually dead this time, sadly, because he's a fun and also funny villain .

Good lord I'm so sorry this is so much does this even make sense ? I don't know. <3

sorry i had to read this like 3 times in order to get it (my reading comprehension is terrible) but holy shit hes a fucked up guy ....... i love that he just has a whole joker arc after his manguy dies i think thats funny. hes so weird

[dilfzziie]

howdy, welcome to my blog. 

I reblog a lotta stuff and sometimes I make text posts if I'm feeling especially freaky 

my name is Kazoo, you can call me Kaz for short, or Kazzy for the exact same length. I also respond to Miyaa, Bunny, and Thingy. 

I'm in my 20s, and my pronouns are He/Him, It/Its is also good. I'm just a guy, take that as you wish, rest of my alphabet is a secret. I have a wife, whom I absolutely adore.

under the cut are just some cool lists of stuff I like in no particular order :) as well as a DNI and stuff I guess? I'll update it as interests change.

games: Ryu Ga Gotoku, Ace Attorney, Stardew Valley, Fallout, Elder Scrolls, Lethal Company, Gourdlets, WebFishing, Mouthwashing, Bugsnax, My Sweet! Housemate, Your Boyfriend, Red Dead Redemption/2, Disco Elysium, The Long Dark, Needy Streamer Overload, and i like Tetris 

series/movies: Heathers, Grave Encounters, Pan's Labyrinth, The Shape of Water, Bluey, My Little Pony(all gens!), Squid Game, Ghosts(BBC), Butterfly Kisses, Rick & Morty, Like A Dragon(2007), and Breaking Bad with its variants 

anime/manga: FullMetal Alchemist(2003), Lucky Star, Umaru-Chan, Toilet Bound Hanako-Kun, Golden Kamuy, Way of The House Husband, Watamote, DanDaDan, Death Note, Jujutsu Kaisen, and Mob Psycho 100

music: Ghost (BC), Mannequin Pussy, Kocchi no Kento, Weezer, Destroy Boys, Porno Grafitti, Deftones, and most of the music from Ryu Ga Gotoku also 

I do art sometimes: @maybemuzziie

here is an approximation of what I look like

picrew sauce

my text posts are under either #bundog yaps or #yeagh or sometimes both 

on rare occasions I post images, those are under #bundog irl but are probably found in other tags too

mutuals can DM me whenever about whatever they want also, I do not mind

"hey, what does 14106 mean?" it's a pager code! it's also a reference to Heartbreak Mermaid from the Yakuza series! the code means I love you

DNI

people don't usually read or respect these, so if you or your vibes suck I will personally trap you in the chain email dimension as one of those shitty scary ones no one enjoys.

that being said, fuck TERFs, radfems, zionists, zoophiles, and bigots of any flavour 

[ethicalelle]

HAZY ENCOUNTERS | CHAPTER 3

3 | is that my weezer shirt?

ANDREA

Another night, another boring evening at Ulta.

Working at Ulta, the casual beauty store that is either filled to the brim or empty in between makes you wonder if your life is real sometimes.

The clinking of foundation bottles as Jaya stocked shelves and the quiet murmur of Sabrina Carpenter’s new song played as I weaved through the shelves, expertly balancing an assortment of misplaced items that people had scattered around the store.

As I made my trips to different shelves, ranging from NARS to elf, all the way to Good Molecules, my mind wandered.

"Hey girl, can you take these people?" Cora, a fellow employee, asked, handing me a slip of paper that was a coupon.

“What? Why?” I peered over her shoulder, looking at the right-hand counter, which had two girls who looked around her age.

“I know them from high school. I left before they could recognize me.” She turned around and looked at them in disgust. “I think they did recognize me though because they kept looking at each other.”

Cora was 24, and I think she graduated from college a couple of years ago. She was around 5'4" and had long bleached blonde hair, which she had dyed from her natural black hair.

“What the fuck did they do to you?” I snickered, and she rolled her eyes. She tucked a hair behind her ear that was tickling the side of her face, her large gold hoops clinking against her hand in response.

“Andi, please. I never asked you for help, like, come on.”

Which was true.

"Fine," I replied, my voice lacking its usual enthusiasm as I headed over to the counter to check them out.

Despite the long hours and demanding weirdos, I found solace in the rhythm of the job. The routine of stocking shelves, being a cashier, and swatching products was familiar and comforting, but also a stark reminder of the lack of progress in my life.

I was a marketing major at UMass. I genuinely have no idea what I want to do after college.

As the afternoon wore on, I found myself continuously thinking about my recent encounter with Irene.

After Esmé asked Irene for her Instagram, she gave her mine later on, and Irene followed me.

I followed her back. Finally, after three years of us knowing each other, we have each other on social media. 

"If you got time to lean, you got time to cle—" our manager, Joanna, called out jokingly, snapping me out of my thoughts.

“Shut up, Jo.” Cora scoffed, pushing past her and bringing a toner to the back.

“Do you want a write-up?” Joanna threatened jokingly, and Cora rolled her eyes. Then Joanna turned to me again. “Ooh, your hair is cute, Andi. Did you do it yourself?”

My hair was in pigtails and the ends were curled daintily. 

“Thanks, Joanna," I replied with a smile, touching my hair. "Yeah, I did it myself.”

“Jaya, where are the lip liners?” I asked another employee, Jaya, who was the rather quiet one among us.

“Oh, my bad.” She turned around before putting down her box of Anastasia Beverly Hills foundations and taking out the company cellphone, which we use for orders and whatever.

“Um. The NYX liners? I think someone already stocked them. Also, we have a pick-up order for two of them in about 15 minutes.” She responded before putting the phone away.

While nodding my head, I felt my phone ding in my pocket. As I checked it, I noticed a notification from Instagram. It was Irene, responding to my story.

My story was just a mirror selfie and a Weezer song was attached to it.

Her message read, "name 3 songs”

She was probably talking about my shirt, which was a blue Weezer shirt I stole from Esmé.

I barely listened to Weezer, so I replied, “shut up”

As I returned to my section, I couldn't shake off the feeling of giddiness from Irene's message. It was a small thing, but she liked my selfie as well.

I know I looked good in that selfie, and she liked it.

I didn’t post it for her, but still.

It’s funny because when I like someone’s story, it’s usually one of the following.

I think their background is pretty.

I like their outfit.

I’ve been to the place they are at.

Or the food they’re eating looks delicious.

Liking a story because I think their generally attractive is rarely the case. But, when someone likes my story. I think that they think that I’m hot.

It’s weird.

Finally, I finished up my shift at Ulta Beauty.

As I stepped out into the cool night air, between Jaya and Cora, with Joanna behind us, I hesitated for a moment before opening up Instagram.

I clicked on my DMs, and it said 4+ new messages under Irene’s user.

just say you don’t know nigga

where you get the shirt though

depop

r u a depoper

I smiled before giggling and typing up a response, “i am not a depoper and the shirt is from esme”

“Who are you texting, Andi? We can hear you giggling.” Cora said. Joanna’s head popped over my shoulder, and she looked back at Cora. “You’re so nosy.”

“Shut the fuck up, Joanna.” Cora scoffed before Joanna shoved her a little, and Joanna rolled her eyes. As I approached my car, Esmé called me. I waved to the three, entered my car, and immediately locked it.

My phone started to ring, and the contact name “essie poo 👅💦” flashed across the screen. I hit the green answer button before I got interrogated, “Is that my Weezer shirt? On your story?” Esmé aggressively asked. I put my phone on speaker before putting it in my cup holder.

“Sorry,” I winced, before turning my keys in the ignition. I heard a man’s voice in the background, and I recognized it as Jay. Attempting to distract her, “Is that Jay? He’s back?”

Jay is Esmé’s boyfriend. He sometimes acts like an older brother to me. I see no red flags.

Clearing her throat, and I could literally hear her smile, “Uh, yeah! I’m at his dorm right now, and oh my God, this nigga is saying he needs a haircut, but he looks cute. Isn’t that right, booboo bear?” she asked jokingly, and I heard him go “unt unt.”

“Yo, Drea.” I heard Jay greet me, and I said hi.

“Okay, and also I left a burrito for you in the microwave. I made it,” Esmé said. “You made food? Also, Jaya gave me some leftover fries from her lunch today.”

“Ooh la la, and I am coming back over because he said his TA is checking things.” Esmé said, and I heard a laugh, “Jay, I am not sleeping under your bed.”

I chuckled to myself and then peeled out of the lot.

┆彡

I arrived at my apartment, and I actually stopped at a gas station to get a Slurpee because I was quite literally dying for one.

As I slurped on my straw, I left my car, locked it immediately, and took the pepper spray I keep in my pocket any time I leave the house.

As I looked up, sitting on the steps was Esmé, smoking a blunt. She looked up as I approached, a smirk playing on her lips.

"Well, well, well, look who finally decided to come home," she teased, flicking ash onto the ground.

"Very funny. All I did was get a Slurpee on my way home." I replied, rolling my eyes.

Esmé raised an eyebrow, taking another drag. "Anything cool happen at work? Your job has like no drama.”

I glanced at her before taking out my keys, and shaking my head. "Bitch, what are you on about?”

She looked me up and down. “You remember when I worked at Sephora. Every worker in there messed around with each other."

I pinched my nose. “Wha—”

She continued to stare at me, and I sighed. “I did get a message from Irene though.”

Esmé's eyes lit up with curiosity. "Irene? What did she say?" Esmé has been nagging me recently about Irene recently. On a recent car ride to school, she was on Irene’s story, insisting that Irene was my type and continuously.

FLASHBACK

“I saw Elanna at Ulta yesterday,” I noted, and she looked at me, “Oh, yeah?” I nodded and she continued on with her rant about how she has 5+ crochet orders.

“She was with someone,” I said again, and she looked at me, but with her eyes widened, 

“Elanna has a new man? What? Why would she bring him to Ulta?”

Before she went on about that, I interrupted her, “No, a girl—“

“A girl? Elanna’s bi? What? Was she hot?”

“Jesus, Essie. It was Irene.” Esmé looked at me stupidly as she rolled her eyes, her golden tooth gems shining from the sun shining into the car. “Why didn’t you just say Irene?”

“I don’t know.” I shrugged.

“You know,” she began, “Irene’s kinda cute.”

I side-eyed her, “Cute like, ‘Oo, that girl’s cute,’ or cute like, ‘Oo, she’s fine?’” I asked with pure intrigue.

“Girl, the second one. Irene is fooinne.” She dramatically said, and I snorted, “You have a boyfriend remember.”

“Nigga, please. But she is. She’s kinda your type.” She gestured to me as she did the hand motion of sucking dick.

I looked at her with disgust, “First off, she isn’t. And Irene doesn’t even have a dick.”

“You don’t know that.” She shrugged and pulled out her phone, clicking on Instagram.

“Did you know she boxes?” She commented, pulling up Irene’s Instagram page and clicking on her story.

She eyed me and continued to scroll, “See, look.” She shoved the phone in my face and I cursed at her, “I will crash this car,” I deadpanned, and she clicked on her story, “You should text her,” 

I glanced at the story, a knot forming in my stomach. Her hair was tied back, not slicked back, like she just put it up. The story included a punching bag and a girl with blue hair next to her. That’s all I could gather because I’m quite literally driving.

“And why would I do that?” I asked and paused at a red light, and sighed.

Esmé looked at me, “Your chance to get out of that stupid situationship with Liana.”

PRESENT

I shrugged, pulling out my phone to show her the message. "Calm down, damn. It was just about my Weezer shirt.”

She glared at me. “My Weezer shirt?”

I rolled my eyes, shoving my phone back into my pocket. "Bitch, please. You steal my makeup all the time.”

Esmé stood up from the steps. “Okay, but without me, the love of your life wouldn’t have texted you.”

“Esmé, please, I barely know her. She’s just like, a friend of a friend. Simple.” I shrugged, entering the lobby of our apartment. But for now, I was weirded out with the excitement of getting closer to Irene.

As we rode up to our floor, Esmé jumped up and down, and I looked at her in confusion. “What are you doi—”

“I’m trying to touch the light,” she said as the doors opened, and I rolled my eyes, leaving the elevator.

Back in our apartment, Esmé immediately headed for the bathroom. “Burrito’s in the microwave.”

“Mhm,” I hummed, grabbing the burrito and popping it into the microwave. While it heated up, I grabbed the container of fries from my bag and took a Coke from the fridge, dumping it into my Slurpee cup. Then I settled on the couch, pulling out my phone to check Irene’s messages again.

Irene had responded to my last message, and her reply made me laugh. “ok weirdo”

“whats her depop”

Typing out a quick response, “just type in in her name..  how many esmés would be on depop”

Satisfied with my reply, I leaned back, taking a bite of my burrito as I scrolled through my feed.

I heard Esmé yell, “Where is my scarf for my braids?” 

I thought to myself, and snapped my fingers, “Oh, in your laundry basket. I washed it the other day.”

“Thank youu.” she dragged out the you, and I heard her enter her bedroom.

My phone pinged.

    rationalren_

just give me her user

erm can i get a please or what

what do u think this is

sounds like ur not getting that user

ok

rude

..

plz

okay here

@ethoesmé

She hearted my message, and I exited out of the chat and went to her profile.

She only had one post, and it was a picture of the sky, and the caption was kewl

It was a slideshow, with an assortment of photos of her, some of her friends, and a random cat that she took a picture of on the street? Afterward, I went on her highlights.

It was eerily quiet, as the quiet ambiance of Crack Rock by Frank Ocean emitted from my phone.

“Why are you on her highlights?” Esmé whispered in my ear, and I let out a blood-curdling scream, and I slapped her straight in the face.

“Ow?!” Esmé exclaimed, and I covered my mouth, “I’m so sorr—“

“Ow,” she said again, as she cupped her face, and I winced, “Why would you sneak up on me?”

“Because!” She groaned, “Hey, don’t ignore my question. Nigga, I saw you on Irene’s fucking highlights.” She pointed at me, whilst holding her nose, “You aren’t my mother, I can view anyone's story however I want.”

“Nigga, get me a tissue,” she said, and I hurried over to the kitchen, and grabbed a paper towel, “This is your fault. Not mine.” I looked at her, and stuffed the tissue up her nose, “Why? Just why?”

“I was intrigued!” she threw her arms up, and the paper napkin fell out her nose, and plopped on the floor.

“There’s no blood on the tissue.” I sighed, picking it up with a pinch, and throwing it in the trash, “You’re so dramatic.”

“You didn’t answer my question.” She crossed her arms and continued to stare at my phone, then back at me, “You have a crush, ooo—“

“Shut up,” I grumbled, and I grabbed my phone and Slurpee, and headed to my room.

I closed out of Instagram before someone wanted to sneak up on me again.

[tunawithsoysauce]

Day: 3???

17/4/24

Hiya!!!! Sorry i didnt write. Ive decided the most i'll pause the blog is three days. Also, shoutout to my sister that now reads this! Gonna be careful with what I put her now, haha. That's a joke. Er.

So! Hi. Been busy. With tests n stuff. Also kind of relapsed. 17 days and I throw it away. I c-t myself like an hour ago writing this too haha.

Well, I wont be pessimistic. I'll be fine. Its just a blip. I hope so, at least.

Enough about not-today-days. Here's my day today!!!

Woke up at six. Mentally prepared me for in total four hours of english exams. UGH. It sucked, but I did good. Anyways.

C-t myself in the morning. It was to prepare myself. I think. Yeah, it was.

I took the bus. I listened to some Weezer (Pinkerton, blue album, and green album!!!) And met Leija on my way from the bus station. She cheered me up so much. GOD I love her.

We settled in in the testroom thingie, and started. I got done super early (duh) and read Solitare (Alice oseman) for like 50 minutes. ITS SO GOOD. Ive read it at least eight times by now. But still. Epic. Book. (Sprolden AJSKSJDJ)

Me n Leija ate lunch. I actually ate (unlike any other day lmao) and it was fish burgers. Yuck. No im kidding. It actually tasted okay.

The rest of the break i just ran around with Leija. And Deim. I think I yelled so much my lungs would collapse. (Outside ofc)

And then the next test. It was super slow since we had to listen to some guy talking. BORING ASF. Anyways I fell asleep afterwards while the writing time was still going and Elsa woke me up.

I jumped around agressively and climbed a tree out of exitement. I scraped my knee falling from it :[

Anyways. We had homeroom (YUCK) and I was kind of riled up. Anxious. Whatever. My teacher looked at me and used his serious voice telling me to breathe. I rolled my eyes at him. But I was thankful.

Me and Leija just goofed off that lesson, lol. Not being annoying to anyone else ofc, just yk.

Then we had P.E. or well, I didn't. My wounds where fucking BOLTING and it hurt like HELL. I told my teacher. She looked at my wrist, looked at me, took me to another room and asked the standard stuff.

I answer truthfully.

(I downplayed it)

Anyways. She said a bunch of sentimental pitying stuff but then said:

"Nobody wants you to be gone."

And I resisted crying at that.

I spent the rest of the lesson watching Doctor who. Specifically any episode with Amy and River.

It was fun.

When It was over Leija asked if I wanted to walk around in the mall for a bit. Of course i said yes.

Deim came too.

Before we left i gave Sofia a hug.

She's practically my mum at this point.

Anyways. We sat in the mall for a while. We talked about pointless stuff. Leija gave me a cookie. I said I loved her. It was supposed to be a sort of joke.

She said it back.

Deim said they loved me too.

I hugged them and said it back.

Anyways. I went home. Bus. I took the pencil sharpener I stole from school and..

..figure out the rest.

Yep. I called my sister. I freaked out because I made it too deep. I got it to stop bleeding.

I don't have anymore urges right now, so ill be fine tonight.

Anyways. Orchestra tonight. Fun.

It'll be fun.

[tricobicoart]

tf2 mae also started off as a crossover where she got kidnapped/captured near the base by the mercs so here's some text & text exchanges abt it

ath: mae gets dropped into a universe & interrogated by likeable & eccentric people but who are Not her boyfriend & boyfriend's boyfriend: I will betray all of you when the opportunity arises.

THEY GIVE HER TRUTH SERUM AND SHE JUST STARTS VENTING ABT MUNDANE SHIT, OR SINING THE PRAISES OF DAN & APOLLO & ATLAS & AMBROSE BC THEY;RE SO COOL & SHE LOVES THEM SO MUCH, YOU GUYS

atlas: OH MY GOD???? I LOVE THAT ZHE GETS INJECTED AND JUST MAE JUST RAMBLING ABOUT ALL THE WAY SHE LOVES HER PARTNERS "YOU WANT THE TRUTH?? OKAY FINE MY BOYFRIEND AND MY BOYFRIENDS BOYFRIEND ARE BOTH COOL AS SHIT, ALSO I SECRETLY LOVE (insert random guilty pleasure here) HAHA"

ath: JG;LKSFJGKH LMAOOO YEAH SHE JUST SINGS LIKE. AN ENTIRE ALBUM'S WORTH OF WILL WOOD SONGS

atlas: YESSSSS "my boyfriend said my eyes are WEEZER BLUE!!! He also said I might have autism??"/ref

ath: KLFJDSJGHKLSJFH YEAH!!!

atlas: SHE JUST PURPOSEFULLY IS EXTRA OBNOXIOUS TO GET ON THEIR NERVES 😭

ath: JG;LSCHG LMAOOO YEA MAKES STUPID ASS MEME REFERENCES *one of soldier's raccoons bites her* WAS THAT THE BITE OF 87!?!? KEKEKEKEKEKEK

ath: if mae ever gets captured by the tf2 mercs again or the elites she just starts explaining fnaf lore to them & it feels like this, despite her being the one restrained in a chair lol https://www.reddit.com/r/GameTheorists/comments/gvptak/when_you_try_to_explain_the_fnaf_lore_but_it/

atlas: LMAO "please, for the love of God, I do not know what the bite of 87 is!!!" - soldier "Sounds like someone is uncultured." -mae

ath: FLDHGJKDF LMAOOOO sniper: *bites a dude* mae: WAS THAT THE BITE OF 87!? entire tf2 team: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, PLEASE SHUT THE FUCK UUUUPP

atlas: LMAOOO Apollo, appearing next to zer: I'm sorry, do you wanna repeat that? Did you just tell zer to shut up??? Mercs: HAHA NOOO OF COURSE NOT * TOTALLY NOT ALL SCARED OF APOLLO*

ath: JFSLK;SGH;LDFJ LMAOOO AND THEY JUST LET THE TWO WALK OUT SAFELY mae, talking to apollo on the way out: anyways, that's why i think michael is the older brother. because it's funny. apollo: of course, honey

atlas: AGKHSHLKDFJKDDGJJFF every time Apollo reminds them all that he exists, they start internally shitting themselves

ath: HAJSJGSJS YEAH The only one the least scared of him is sniper, & that's bc the dude knows not to fuck w ppl more powerful than him Once Apollo meets him while he's in the middle of nowhere being high & they become like. Friendly acquaintances

atlas: Do you think they'd have to play rock paper scissors on who has to face him/LH YEAH ACJK THEY JUST RUN INTO EACH OTHER WHILE THEY'RE BOTH SMOKING AND APOLLO SILENTLY OFFERS HIM A JOINT

ath: JAHDGDJ ABSOLUTELY THEY DO. THEY GET IN FIGHTS OVER IT JAJDGDJJD AND HE VEEERRY CAUTIOUSLY TAKES IT BC IF HE SPYCHECKS THE MAN HE MIGHT KILL OR MAIM HIM

atlas: "I had to take him out last time!!! He blew up my head!!" "Well, don't look at ME!!! He broke my bones last time!!!!" Heavy finally offers to do it 😭

ADJKHDFJJFD AND APOLLO JUST LIGHTS A JOINT OF HIS OWN AND THEY KINDA JUST STAND THERE SMOKING IN SILENCE

ath: FJDSLKJGHSLFGJ LMAOOOO JUST "You make baby men very nervous. Can you leave? They're annoying."

SPY CATCHES A GLIMPSE OF THEM SMOKING & TELLS EVERYONE BUT THEY SAY HE MUST HAVE BEEN MISTAKEN BC SNIPER DOES HIS BEST TO AVOID HIM

atlas: "Do I make you nervous?" "….No." "Liar." AND HE JUST SHOWS UP WHERE THE MERCS WERE ARGUING AND THEY ALL SCATTER

YESSSSSSSSSS AND IT JUST BECOMES A THING THAT THEY DO

ath: FKSHDGLJFH LIEK CATS CONFRONTED WITH A CAT MASK and bc apollo is gone heavy can show relief that they've left him jhdksg

YESSS AND THEY START AHVING CASUAL CONVERSATIONS ABT WEED STRAINS & EDIBLES & THEN WHATEVER KILLS THEY GOT OR DIDN'T GET THAT DAY

atlas: THATS SO CURSED I LOVE THAT "WAIT, WAIT WAIT WAIT, I WANNA STRIKE A DEAL WITH YOU IDIOTS." and Medic perks up "Stop kidnapping my partner and I'll help you in fights or something."

HEHEHEHE YESSSS AND APOLLO BRINGS HIM SHIT HES NEVER TRIED BEFORE

ath: FH;SDFHJD MEDIC, THE DEAL-MAKING EXPERT after hammering out like a dozen details medic agrees pffffft what if mae accidentally made friends with pyro while captured & zhe just like. tries to sneak out one night to "accidentally" get kidnapped & see 'em bc she misses 'em

BROOOO "THIS EDIBLE AIN'T SHI--" BUT WITH SNIPER KDHFKJL apollo just "oh yea i forgot humans have different weed tolerances. uh. whoops"

atlas: AFKKDDHKJS SCOUT IS IN THE BG THE ENTIRE TIME SAYING HOW BAD OF AN IDEA THIS IS BUT ITS TOO LATE ZHKVDGMK MAE NO!!! Apollo and Mae just running into each other sneaking out "Where are you going…?" "Out. Where are YOU going?" "….Same here." "Cool, cool." And Apollo just slowlyyyyy walks off while staring at Mae

AGKKDFKJD LITERALLY!!!!! Apollo has to carry Sniper back to the base 😭

ath: SLKG;J;DLJFGHLKDJ LMAOOOO AND THEY BOTH GLANCE AT EACH OTHER BY THE BASE LIKE