#well well well... if that isn't me writing a whole novel in this post

[lenteur]

random thoughts about castaway diva, episode three

(read more because i always get carried away lol and this post might contain spoilers)

i'm glad we're getting to see more moments of mok ha during her time on the deserted island.

I'm also glad we're seeing so many parallels between her and yoon ran joo and i really hope the show will develop the relationship between the two women because the story is very interesting.

I'm just speechless because both women have so much in common but they don't know it yet. They're both born in the same island, they have a passion for singing, they went through the same hurdles at the same time. It's details like these that make their bond so special.

The su*c*dal ideation for both mok ha and ran joo is understandable. Mok ha has spent a long time alone on that deserted island that she lost hope of someone finding her. She figured no one would miss her/no one thinks she's alive after all that time. It's not easy being alone for more than a decade with no one to talk to. For the latter (ran joo), I think her dark thoughts occurred when the public turned on her because of her attitude. The only thing that made her happy (singing) was no longer an option because no one wanted to listen to her. Or maybe it's because of the band-aid on her neck? I don't know what it is but it could be the cause of her distress and less than happy thoughts?

I see ran joo's ex manager turned into her new CEO profited from her to become some hotshot in the entertainment industry. It seems he forgot about her and invested the money he promised to her on new and younger artists.

It's really telling how women are more affected by time in the entertainment industry. Once she became "too old" or "too diva-ish" (sorry for my lack of vocab), lee seo jun (finally found his name) along with the public diverted his time and attention to someone else. I'm saying the entertainment industry is more severe on women because only one little tiny mistake can make them fired/erased from public attention. For men, it seems the industry and public is lenient on them. This is only my opinion that I based on things I've seen in the music industry as a whole.

Lee seo jun compared the artist to flowers that wither with time. I think it's the perfect image to describe what I was trying to say earlier (cf. Previous point).

So yes, it is only natural for yoon ran joo to be sad because she can no longer do the thing she loves the most: singing.

The audacity to name the company RJ Entertainment and mistreat the artist who started it all!!! And to rename it RNJ so it won't be based on ran joo's name anymore. I'm seething. All men do is lie and cheat. BOOOOOOOOOOO!!! tomatoes tomatoes

Mok ha is so cute as a fangirl. Park eun bin really nailed that part lol.

I find it both sad and beautiful that the only person that seems to pay attention to/care about yoon ran joo is mok ha when lee seo jun should be the one to do so.

Woo hak insulting ki ho stating a literal teenager should be able to throw down a whole adult, an adult that is as tall as a fridge? He's lucky I wasn't right in front of him or else I would've slapped him so hard he would've landed on the moon. How can you blame a child for that?

So it's both the abandonment from her company and the vocal nodules that made ran joo spiral into alc*h*l and dark thoughts. This must have been painful to hold in for so long. And the fact that mok ha is the first person she told this to is another proof of how strong their bond is. It might not have been long but they both are each other's confidant/emtional support.

It seems that even ran joo disappointed mok ha by giving her false hope when dr*nk. Even then, mok ha is worried about her and wonders what she went through to change so much. Mok ha is the only one who hasn't changed that much after all that time. It's like time stopped for her while everyone else moved on and changed.

Just like ki ho said, mok ha liked ran joo because she lacked worries and gloominess. But now it's not the case so i'm wondering if mok ha will stop being a fangirl and see ran joo in another light.

Okay so bear with me while i try to write my thoughts. I just find seo mok ha empathetic to the point where she sometimes forgets herself. She's willing to protect ran joo and pretend she didn't hear her beg for an audition. She's going as far as giving her compliments that no one has told her (ran joo) in a very long time. I think this is both a strength and a weakness because I can predict some people will take advantage of that (and her credulity) to manipulate her. However, just like I mentioned before, Mok ha still hasn't changed at all and has kept her naivety. So yeah, I'm very interested to see how or if she will evolve in that sense.

I'm just saying that because mok ha was ready to throw hands when she understood how lee seo jun took advantage of ran joo, but it seems she puts others before her.

The man that took over the seafood restaurant is a betrayer. First he told ki ho's dad how he was working and earning money to save for the future. And now he's also telling the father that mok ha came to visit him. It's disgusting because he's trying to hide it behind a smile. He's on the father's side because ki ho never dared accuse his own father of ab*se. I mean when his own dad is a police officer, it's difficult to do so.

The truth bomb scene is exactly what i said previously. Women in the entertainment industry are aging way quicker than anyone else. The truth hurt mok ha and it's like she's submerged with it. She doesn't know what to do. Even then, she finds it in her heart to have empathy for ran joo. Mok ha is an incredible and strong woman.

I am so happy they developed the story around mok ha and ran joo. They're helping each other out and making the other realize things that they wouldn't be able to see otherwise.

I'm relieved someone opened ran joo's eyes about lee seo jun's goals. He wants to wait until the end of ran joo's contract just so she won't become the majority shareholder of the company. That's why he left her. He doesn't want her to sell 20 million albums. GOOD JOB MOK HA! GO KICK LEE SEO JUN'S ASS RAN JOO!!!

i'll give this episode a 9.5/10 as well

[archaeren]

How I learned to write smarter, not harder

(aka, how to write when you're hella ADHD lol)

A reader commented on my current long fic asking how I write so well. I replied with an essay of my honestly pretty non-standard writing advice (that they probably didn't actually want lol) Now I'm gonna share it with you guys and hopefully there's a few of you out there who will benefit from my past mistakes and find some useful advice in here. XD Since I started doing this stuff, which are all pretty easy changes to absorb into your process if you want to try them, I now almost never get writer's block.

The text of the original reply is indented, and I've added some additional commentary to expand upon and clarify some of the concepts.

As for writing well, I usually attribute it to the fact that I spent roughly four years in my late teens/early 20s writing text roleplay with a friend for hours every single day. Aside from the constant practice that provided, having a live audience immediately reacting to everything I wrote made me think a lot about how to make as many sentences as possible have maximum impact so that I could get that kind of fun reaction. (Which is another reason why comments like yours are so valuable to fanfic writers! <3) The other factors that have improved my writing are thus: 1. Writing nonlinearly. I used to write a whole story in order, from the first sentence onward. If there was a part I was excited to write, I slogged through everything to get there, thinking that it would be my reward once I finished everything that led up to that. It never worked. XD It was miserable. By the time I got to the part I wanted to write, I had beaten the scene to death in my head imagining all the ways I could write it, and it a) no longer interested me and b) could not live up to my expectations because I couldn't remember all my ideas I'd had for writing it. The scene came out mediocre and so did everything leading up to it. Since then, I learned through working on VN writing (I co-own a game studio and we have some visual novels that I write for) that I don't have to write linearly. If I'm inspired to write a scene, I just write it immediately. It usually comes out pretty good even in a first draft! But then I also have it for if I get more ideas for that scene later, and I can just edit them in. The scenes come out MUCH stronger because of this. And you know what else I discovered? Those scenes I slogged through before weren't scenes I had no inspiration for, I just didn't have any inspiration for them in that moment! I can't tell you how many times there was a scene I had no interest in writing, and then a week later I'd get struck by the perfect inspiration for it! Those are scenes I would have done a very mediocre job on, and now they can be some of the most powerful scenes because I gave them time to marinate. Inspiration isn't always linear, so writing doesn't have to be either!

Some people are the type that joyfully write linearly. I have a friend like this--she picks up the characters and just continues playing out the next scene. Her story progresses through the entire day-by-day lives of the characters; it never timeskips more than a few hours. She started writing and posting just eight months ago, she's about an eighth of the way through her planned fic timeline, and the content she has so far posted to AO3 for it is already 450,000 words long. But most of us are normal humans. We're not, for the most part, wired to create linearly. We consume linearly, we experience linearly, so we assume we must also create linearly. But actually, a lot of us really suffer from trying to force ourselves to create this way, and we might not even realize it. If you're the kind of person who thinks you need to carrot-on-a-stick yourself into writing by saving the fun part for when you finally write everything that happens before it: Stop. You're probably not a linear writer. You're making yourself suffer for no reason and your writing is probably suffering for it. At least give nonlinear writing a try before you assume you can't write if you're not baiting or forcing yourself into it!! Remember: Writing is fun. You do this because it's fun, because it's your hobby. If you're miserable 80% of the time you're doing it, you're probably doing it wrong!

2. Rereading my own work. I used to hate reading my own work. I wouldn't even edit it usually. I would write it and slap it online and try not to look at it again. XD Writing nonlinearly forced me to start rereading because I needed to make sure scenes connected together naturally and it also made it easier to get into the headspace of the story to keep writing and fill in the blanks and get new inspiration. Doing this built the editing process into my writing process--I would read a scene to get back in the headspace, dislike what I had written, and just clean it up on the fly. I still never ever sit down to 'edit' my work. I just reread it to prep for writing and it ends up editing itself. Many many scenes in this fic I have read probably a dozen times or more! (And now, I can actually reread my own work for enjoyment!) Another thing I found from doing this that it became easy to see patterns and themes in my work and strengthen them. Foreshadowing became easy. Setting up for jokes or plot points became easy. I didn't have to plan out my story in advance or write an outline, because the scenes themselves because a sort of living outline on their own. (Yes, despite all the foreshadowing and recurring thematic elements and secret hidden meanings sprinkled throughout this story, it actually never had an outline or a plan for any of that. It's all a natural byproduct of writing nonlinearly and rereading.)

Unpopular writing opinion time: You don't need to make a detailed outline.

Some people thrive on having an outline and planning out every detail before they sit down to write. But I know for a lot of us, we don't know how to write an outline or how to use it once we've written it. The idea of making one is daunting, and the advice that it's the only way to write or beat writer's block is demoralizing. So let me explain how I approach "outlining" which isn't really outlining at all.

I write in a Notion table, where every scene is a separate table entry and the scene is written in the page inside that entry. I do this because it makes writing nonlinearly VASTLY more intuitive and straightforward than writing in a single document. (If you're familiar with Notion, this probably makes perfect sense to you. If you're not, imagine something a little like a more contained Google Sheets, but every row has a title cell that opens into a unique Google Doc when you click on it. And it's not as slow and clunky as the Google suite lol) (Edit from the future: I answered an ask with more explanation on how I use Notion for non-linear writing here.) When I sit down to begin a new fic idea, I make a quick entry in the table for every scene I already know I'll want or need, with the entries titled with a couple words or a sentence that describes what will be in that scene so I'll remember it later. Basically, it's the most absolute bare-bones skeleton of what I vaguely know will probably happen in the story.

Then I start writing, wherever I want in the list. As I write, ideas for new scenes and new connections and themes will emerge over time, and I'll just slot them in between the original entries wherever they naturally fit, rearranging as necessary, so that I won't forget about them later when I'm ready to write them. As an example, my current long fic started with a list of roughly 35 scenes that I knew I wanted or needed, for a fic that will probably be around 100k words (which I didn't know at the time haha). As of this writing, it has expanded to 129 scenes. And since I write them directly in the page entries for the table, the fic is actually its own outline, without any additional effort on my part. As I said in the comment reply--a living outline!

This also made it easier to let go of the notion that I had to write something exactly right the first time. (People always say you should do this, but how many of us do? It's harder than it sounds! I didn't want to commit to editing later! I didn't want to reread my work! XD) I know I'm going to edit it naturally anyway, so I can feel okay giving myself permission to just write it approximately right and I can fix it later. And what I found from that was that sometimes what I believed was kind of meh when I wrote it was actually totally fine when I read it later! Sometimes the internal critic is actually wrong. 3. Marinating in the headspace of the story. For the first two months I worked on [fic], I did not consume any media other than [fandom the fic is in]. I didn't watch, read, or play anything else. Not even mobile games. (And there wasn't really much fan content for [fandom] to consume either. Still isn't, really. XD) This basically forced me to treat writing my story as my only source of entertainment, and kept me from getting distracted or inspired to write other ideas and abandon this one.

As an aside, I don't think this is a necessary step for writing, but if you really want to be productive in a short burst, I do highly recommend going on a media consumption hiatus. Not forever, obviously! Consuming media is a valuable tool for new inspiration, and reading other's work (both good and bad, as long as you think critically to identify the differences!) is an invaluable resource for improving your writing.

When I write, I usually lay down, close my eyes, and play the scene I'm interested in writing in my head. I even take a ten-minute nap now and then during this process. (I find being in a state of partial drowsiness, but not outright sleepiness, makes writing easier and better. Sleep helps the brain process and make connections!) Then I roll over to the laptop next to me and type up whatever I felt like worked for the scene. This may mean I write half a sentence at a time between intervals of closed-eye-time XD

People always say if you're stuck, you need to outline.

What they actually mean by that (whether they realize it or not) is that if you're stuck, you need to brainstorm. You need to marinate. You don't need to plan what you're doing, you just need to give yourself time to think about it!

What's another framing for brainstorming for your fic? Fantasizing about it! Planning is work, but fantasizing isn't.

You're already fantasizing about it, right? That's why you're writing it. Just direct that effort toward the scenes you're trying to write next! Close your eyes, lay back, and fantasize what the characters do and how they react.

And then quickly note down your inspirations so you don't forget, haha.

And if a scene is so boring to you that even fantasizing about it sucks--it's probably a bad scene.

If it's boring to write, it's going to be boring to read. Ask yourself why you wanted that scene. Is it even necessary? Can you cut it? Can you replace it with a different scene that serves the same purpose but approaches the problem from a different angle? If you can't remove the troublesome scene, what can you change about it that would make it interesting or exciting for you to write?

And I can't write sitting up to save my damn life. It's like my brain just stops working if I have to sit in a chair and stare at a computer screen. I need to be able to lie down, even if I don't use it! Talking walks and swinging in a hammock are also fantastic places to get scene ideas worked out, because the rhythmic motion also helps our brain process. It's just a little harder to work on a laptop in those scenarios. XD

In conclusion: Writing nonlinearly is an amazing tool for kicking writer's block to the curb. There's almost always some scene you'll want to write. If there isn't, you need to re-read or marinate.

Or you need to use the bathroom, eat something, or sleep. XD Seriously, if you're that stuck, assess your current physical condition. You might just be unable to focus because you're uncomfortable and you haven't realized it yet.

Anyway! I hope that was helpful, or at least interesting! XD Sorry again for the text wall. (I think this is the longest comment reply I've ever written!)

And same to you guys on tumblr--I hope this was helpful or at least interesting. XD Reblogs appreciated if so! (Maybe it'll help someone else!)

[orphiclovers]

Avatar - fundamentally broken skill?

This is a thing I have been thinking about. The way powers (skills, stigmas, whatever) work in the world of ORV is fascinating in that they are not designed to help the incarnation or adjust to their bodies like a classical superpower. It's repeated many times that the Star Stream is a cruel place, so of course it makes nothing easy on them. Just look at how many times Shin Yoosung and Lee Gilyoung bleed when using their skills. Or how Anna Croft and Yoo Joonghyuk were destroyed mentally by their repeated lifetimes - don't even get me started on Regression.

And Avatar is one of the skills that is the most developed. I've talked about how manifesting it seemingly splits you in two (I recommend reading this previous meta before this post) but what does that split entail, exactly? Here's my theories.

1. Author/Character divide.

If we take 1863rd Yoo Joonghyuk as an example, it's very clear cut. The black coat wearing YJH would be the 'character' who stays and dies and the white coat wearing YJH would be the 'author' who choses to write another story. 'Character' used here in the sense that Kim Dokja would look at them and be able to see/assign them this metaphysical trait, as he does for everyone else.

With Kim Dokja, it is basically easy too. 51% is the author, while 49% is the character, probably.

Han Sooyoung is more difficult. I think since Kim Dokja looks at 1863rd and says she is already a 'character', while 3rd stays a person the whole time IIRC, 3rd would be the 'author' self, even if this seems counterintuitive and like it should be the opposite - this makes the most sense with the second part of this theory.

Technically every author (or reader - someone with the knowledge of the narrative) becomes a 'character' (i.e forgets everything) at some point as per Star Stream rules, but this has not yet happened to Han Sooyoung of the 3rd round.

Still, it's not a perfect fit. Both Han Sooyoungs write novels and neither Kim Dokja does (not that writing is 100% necessary to be an 'Author', since YJH is one and barely writes anything until the epilogue) But it's still an interesting connection to explore.

Onto the second part.

2. Does the divide into two...actually work long term, because it doesn't seem to, based on the evidence we have?

First, let's look at 49% Kim Dokja. Perhaps Kimcom would have accepted him as the real Kim Dokja, like they do with Han Sooyoung, if he didn't ACT like a wet paper towel. The detoriation in mental faculties is very apparent and jarring and soon he falls apart physically too. This doesn't happen to 3rd Han Sooyoung, who is also an avatar, so what gives?

Well, it might not happen to 3rd but definitely did to 1863rd Han Sooyoung.

A 'probability storm is gnawing at her memories' and there's physical effects too. She says this has been happening for a while. Even though she has found a way of slowing down the effects it clearly doesn't fix the issue and eventually, despite her resistance, she might have become like 49% Kim Dokja.

(Maybe that's why she was so ready to leave her companions after the scenarios were over. If rereading stuff helps, perhaps that's also why she kept a diary of her round that 3rd YJH eventually got? Just spitballing, this isn't part of the theory.)

She names two possible causes to this detorriation - exessive use of the Avatar skill or Ways of Survival. 'Ways of Survival' probably refers to the Star Stream rule that once you reach the end of your knowledge you forget you were an author and become a 'character', which 1863 justifiably doesn't want to happen. Later, Kim Dokja comments on her 'status as a character' too, so it is related to that.

With 'overuse of Avatar' she could be refering to the way she makes thousands of them in her mind, but if we look at 49% Kim Dokja and the way their sympthoms match pretty closely, it's likely also the fact that another her - the main body/'author' - is running around in another worldline.

So for these two it checks out that one of the halves is always unstable.

With 1863rd Yoo Joonghyuk, well, it's hard to tell how it would have gone, since black coat YJH dies almost immediately. But the very fact that his avatar didn't even make it a couple minutes is also pretty telling.

As previously stated, nothing is stopping a skill from being harmful for the user. So maybe, one half of the initial avatar pair gets the short end of the stick and ends up slowly disintegrating. That's the basics of this theory.

Technically 51% Kim Dokja disintegrates into the Star Stream too but it is by a different mechanism, unrelated to the Avatar skill. First, he overconsumes probablility and shrinks into a child - this happens to Secretive Plotter too, it's just a thing.

Then, he loses his memories and if Kimcom hadn't interviewed would have become the same exact child that SP takes away in the subway, so that was just the time loop asserting itself. Like alt-1863rd YJH losing his memories when regressing to the 3rd round, or 1863 Han Sooyoung going dormant in Young Han Sooyoung's mind on the day the scenarios start. (Each of these are the looping points of the universe for yhk.)

But something about the way 1863rd Han Sooyoung in those 13 years sheds pieces of her story to create TWSA is very reminiscient of how 51% Kim Dokja disintegrates into the Star Stream on that subway. So perhaps there is some kind of connection there too.

[asleepinawell]

sorry if this seems a bit out of the blue, but ever since youve been posting about fallen london, im a bit curious about it! What is the game about and where can I get it?

oh no worries! I'm happy to ramble about it

fallen london is a free to play browser game you can find here. the basic premise is that sometime in the 1800's the entire city of london is engulfed in a swarm of bats and then falls through the earth into a cavern a mile below. this is the neath, a huge underground cavern where london sits on the shore of a vast ocean. queen victoria is still around locked in her palace being a typical shitty british monarch, who, amongst other things, decided that 1900 was cancelled and we were just going to have 1899 for a second time

things are a little...different down there. humans are far from the only ones running around. there's devils, rubbery men (think mind flayer vibes), clay men, and the shadowy cloaked figures running the bazaar (and the city) called the masters. death mostly isn't permanent and the dream world is a little too real. also, most importantly, cats can talk! and there are tons of them! and tigers too

it's got victorian, gothic horror, dark humor, lovecraftian vibes. also it's extremely queer as is everything the dev, failbetter games, makes. something I especially appreciate is that you don't have to give your character any particular gender (though you can) and some of the little avatars are very gender neutral:

since it's free to play it comes with the normal things that type of game has such as real money transactions (completely optional and unnecessary for enjoyment (though some of the bonus side stories you can buy are extremely cool)), limited number of actions you can take (max of 20 at a time and refills 1 per 10 minutes). it is definitely grindy too though there's so many things to do (cannot emphasize the insane amount of content enough) I will usually just switch things up every so often

it's single player for the most part but you can ask friends to assist you in certain actions and there are some specific items that can be sent to other players

(if you like the setting but not the free to play part you can check out mask of the rose which is a visual novel they just released set right after london fell. it's a romance but with full aro and ace options (which I actually preferred) and a murder mystery. that one is a normal just buy the whole game deal and I think it's on most platforms. there's also sunless seas and sunless skies which take place in the same world but are a very different type of game and would require their own post. all of these have great writing in them)

but back to fallen london. it works based off of 'storylets', or little short stories when you usually do a skill check to accomplish something in return for advancing the story, levelling your skills, and reward items. you unlock more and more things as you go and get access to new stories and areas. here's an example of one of the little activities and its resolution

since it's a game designed to be able to play endlessly there isn't really a way to lose or game over. you can die but dying is just a minigame of its own and sometimes even a thing to do purposefully. (the only actual way to die is the notorious story called seeking mr eaten's name which you may have seen me post about, which is a very unique story that will permanently erase your character at the end. why you'd ever want to do that would also be its own post. it's pretty hard to stumble on accidentally I think and extremely well-marked as a thing with severe consequences that you probably shouldn't do. or should you...)

anyway I'd definitely recommend giving fallen london a try if you're interested in the premise and aesthetic

[queer-reader-07]

a love letter to trans romance

because i can't be normal about media and i'm making it y'all's problems

hi hello and welcome to my mildly unhinged ramblings about love and gender. this post comes to you in three sections, enjoy <3

--

t4t romance novels made me believe in love again

the first romance book i ever read was The Feeling of Falling in Love by Mason Deaver. TFOFIL is a t4t (trans for trans) romance that follows a teenage trans boy, Neil Kearney, and a figuring-out-their-gender teen, Wyatt Fowler, as they get themselves wrapped up in peak YA romcom shenaniganary and eventually fall in love. cute, right? just a fun little romcom, not much more to it?

yeah well that's what i thought going in, but coming out of that book i was in tears. tears because i'd never read a story about trans love before. tears because at that point in my life i'd never allowed myself to fully claim the word "trans." tears because Wyatt made me feel so seen and so real.

there's this one scene where Wyatt is talking to Neil and they describe themself as being the kind of person who sometimes wants to wear makeup and dresses, but other times they like their body hair and scruffy beard. and i just remember nodding along and then absolutely melting because Neil takes it in stride, he comforts Wyatt and let's them know that they don't need to have it figured out just yet. Neil makes it clear that he's there, and that Wyatt doesn't need to come out to anyone unless they're ready.

Mason Deaver has another t4t romance, Okay, Cupid. and that similarly had me in my feels because there is something so special about finding people who embrace you for all that you are.

every t4t romance I've read has one thing in common, the fact that the love interests do not love each despite the other's transness. their transness is not an obstacle to love or to attraction or to adoration, it is an object of it. their transness is something to be admired and to be loved and to be cared for. it is not something the other has to "get over."

reading The Feeling of Falling in Love was the first time i ever thought to myself "maybe, just maybe, i can call myself trans and still be loved." because up until that point i hadn't let myself accept that i was some flavor of trans. up until that point i'd said "not cis" without ever saying trans because i was so scared my being trans would make me unlovable. t4t romance books showed me how wrong i was. they showed me that my ability to be loved was not dependent on my girlhood.

ha you thought i could write something this long on tumblr and NOT mention good omens? think again bestie

i have held a trans reading of crowley since i read the book and the show only solidified it for me. crowley canonically plays with gender.

he's dressed femme during the crucifixion scene, his modern look is a mix of men's and women's pieces, his hair is a Whole Thing in and of itself. i could go on but i digress.

but it's not just the way he plays with gender that informs my trans reading of him. it's also how his character arc can very easily be read as an allegory for transness.

an angel who falls (a girl who isn't a girl anymore)

a fallen angel turned demon (a girl who is a boy now)

a demon who isn't really a demon anymore (a used to be girl, a thought to be boy, is now nonbinary)

girl = angel and boy = demon is entirely arbitrary in this please don't read into it

now, you may be thinking "A how in god's name does this apply to trans romance?" to which i say, aziraphale falls in love with every version of crowley. aziraphale beams heart eyes at angel!crowley before the beginning and loves crowley as a demon for millennia and is so deeply and unabashedly in love with crowley in his not-quite-demon form of s2.

aziraphale loves all the versions of crowley because crowley's angel or demon-ness (gender) is not the reason aziraphale loves crowley. aziraphale doesn't love crowley because he's a demon or because he used to be an angel, aziraphale loves crowley because it's crowley. crowley in whatever clothes he chooses to where, crowley with whatever hairstyle he's fancying at the moment, crowley as he inhabits the shades of grey just a little more.

to me, that is so easy to read as a trans love story. you could argue it's t4t depending on how you read aziraphale, but to me, it's at the very least a love story between a mostly-demon who gets down to some gender fuckery and an angel who loves him very much.

fuck it let's talk about fanfiction

i don't think i could make this post without mentioning @ineffabildaddy's fic I'm Beginning to See the Light.

i have a complicated relationship with my body. i don't plan to ever medically transition because i don't want to make any permanent changes to my body. but there are days where all i want is to have a flat chest and hips that are flush with the rest of my body but instead i'm stuck with tits and an hourglass figure cis people always seem to focus on.

i don't hate my body, but the idea that anyone could look at it and not just see A Woman is beyond me. i walk through life being perceived as a very feminine woman even on the days that i feel the most androgynous. the idea that a lover could look at my body and still see me for who i am feels like a dream that could never happen.

and IBTSTL slapped me (lovingly) across the face with the message that, actually, i can be loved as my whole self and that there are people out there who don't look at me and see A Woman and those people don't love me any less. IBTSTL made me feel safe in my trans body because it said "you are worthy of love and adoration because your transness is not something to get past it is something to admire. it is something to love."

--

i think the point i'm trying to make here is this: trans love stories are so special to me. they've been so vital in my own journey to love and accept myself. they're the reason i can imagine myself maybe having romantic love in the future.

representation matters, it can quite literally change your life.

[lurkdragonstuff]

I'm an atheist and a philosophical materialist. I don't think there's anything more to the universe than what can be observed and measured. Disagree if you want, that's fine, but take as read that this is where I'm coming from.

As you can imagine, this makes it very strange to me that my brain thinks I'm a dragon.

I have been trying to square this circle for years. Since around the 2000's, when I first made contact with the Internet, I would look in on the otherkin community, and the draconic community nested inside it, and I would think, man. I wish I could believe that. I wish I could believe that souls were real, and that I had one, and that it was a dragon, and that's why I was so odd. For quite a while, I just explained it as a furry fandom thing. Sure, yes, my fursona is feral, but ferals are furries, too. This is still true! I'm still in furry fandom, and my dragonself still acts as my fursona. But they are also, in a deeper sense, me.

I'm a secular pagan. I don't think gods exist, and I don't think magic is literally real. I can't really cast a curse on shitty charities. The moon's a big shiny rock. It doesn't care if I roar at it when the sun reflects off it just so and I can see the whole of its tidally locked face.

But my dragon brain doesn't know that. It likes the big shiny rock. It likes little shiny rocks, too. It likes to light things on fire, and considers this a sacred act, both bringing destruction to noxious things and bringing honour to things worthy of it. It likes to growl and hiss when things annoy it. It likes to collect things, to have a hoard. It likes to range around its territory, keeping an eye on what's around in what season. It finds it frustrating that its wings don't seem to work at all, and its other limbs barely better. It wants its tail back. It wants its fire breath.

I'm autistic. Sometimes speaking is hard, and I growl and hiss when things annoy me. I like to collect things related to my special interests; I have a sprawling collection of cetacean, Nintendo, and SEGA figurines, as well as lots of little animal figures. Plushies, too, and videogames, and books. I do wildlife photography, as well, marking who's around in what seasons. This is, to my frustration, limited a lot by waning energy because of chronic health problems.

If backed into a corner, to say what I really believe, of course I'm a human. It is in my DNA, expressed in a bipedal body plan, five fingers on the forelimbs only, nails and not claws, no wings, no muzzle, no tail, short neck, skin and fur instead of scales. Not even any horns. I find this frustrating, but it is what it is. I also find it frustrating when people call me 'she' and not 'they', and that really there is no feasible gender presentation that would guarantee that strangers would use the right word. The best I can hope for is that people will read the 'they/them' button on my hat, or otherwise call me 'he'. Still wrong, but at least novel.

I honestly think my draconic identity developed when I was younger as a way to explain why I was so weird. I have never been normal. I will never be normal. As an adult, I have fancy words like "autism" and "anxiety and depression secondary to post-traumatic stress disorder" and "seasonal affective disorder" to explain why I'm abnormal.

But a part of my brain, I think the same one that still believes in magic and deities even though I don't, tilts its head, then grins a sharp grin and says, "Cool story, bro. I'm still a dragon."

I generally have, for any given of my eccentricities, the philosophical materialist explanation (generally that I am either brainweird in some way or another or am playing pretend for placebo purposes to manage executive function etc.) and the dragon explanation (generally what the pretend play revolves around). But - and this is hard to explain - it isn't exactly playing pretend, either. It's me.

When I'm pretending to be Link, either playing a Zelda game or writing Zelda fanfic, Link isn't me. I might be inhabiting him as an actor, but he isn't me. When I play Animal Crossing, and I'm playing a character named after me, that's closer. It's me but greater. Me but more. Me existing in a life I wish I could have.

When I put on my mask, when I sit and daydream about the multiverse-hopping shenanigans I get up to, when I hiss at someone startling me by getting into my space, that's me. I'm not a dragon, I'm a human wearing a mask, daydreaming, hissing because "back the fuck off!" isn't allowed in the workplace.

Yeah. Cool story, bro.

I am still a dragon.

[emotionallychargedtowel]

Hira's parents and his self-defeating tendencies

I was talking to @sorry-bonebag and @wen-kexing-apologist about what role Hira's parents might have played in creating the weirdness he displays throughout both seasons of Utsukushii Kare & Eternal. I started writing a response and it got too long and, well, now it's a post.

Before I talk about Hira's parents and the tendencies in him that they helped to create, I want to note that family of origin is just one of the influences that form us as people. Parents and caregivers have a huge influence, as do other family members. But so do peers. The bullying about his disability that Hira experiences nearly constantly is one of the biggest influences on his personality.

Hira's parents appear extremely briefly at the very beginning of the series. His mom fusses a bit about him being on his own and his dad is very "he has to take care of himself sometime" about it. We know they took him to specialists for his dysphemia, bought him his camera, etc.

Their departure is a show thing, by the way, and isn't present in the novel. In the novel they continue to live with him through high school and, if I remember correctly, part of college. But they don't play a big role in his life. The main things that happen involving them are either instances of Hira hiding things from them (or attempting to) or instances of his mother briefly, sporadically, having a big burst of worry about him. It would make sense if the show version of his parents were the same way aside from the leaving-him-to-live-alone part of things, though that’s not shown.

The rest of my thoughts are largely headcanon since I’m working backwards from his personality to guess about his formative years, but they match up with the little bit that’s shown in the series and how his parents are in the novel. I see Hira as having a self-defeating personality in a lot of ways. The typical etiology of this kind of personality (the set of conditions that lead up to it) is supposed to be a rather deprived childhood that is punctuated by occasional bursts of parental attention when the child is seen as in crisis somehow (or when they attract attention in other self-defeating ways, like intentionally getting in trouble).

This reminds me of something Nancy McWilliams writes about in Psychoanalytic Diagnosis, attributing the idea to someone named Emmanuel Hammer: “a masochistic person is a depressive who still has hope.” [I should note here that “masochistic personality” is an older term for self-defeating personality that is not meaningfully correlated with masochism in a sexual sense. I think that, despite how he might appear at first glance, Hira actually isn’t sexually masochistic or submissive. I have a whole mostly-written post about this that I hope will see the light of day eventually.] In other words, whereas the background that creates a depressive personality involves deprivation that's intense enough that the person gives up on the possibility of receiving the love they need, the self-defeating personality has had enough success with occasionally getting their needs met that they keep trying. If that’s what happened with Hira, it would be consistent with what we see of his parents in the series. We know they pulled out the stops at certain points when it comes to his dysphemia. Anyone who’s a parent can tell you how hard it is to get a good specialist to see your kid, even when they have some kind of glaring issue and you have decent healthcare access overall. The fact that they managed to get him in with a specialist is notable all on it own. (I actually have some stressful phone calls I need to make today in a similar vein, seeking specialist help for one of my kids.) They also spent a lot of money on a DSLR for a young kid. And yet they’re OK with letting him live alone and after that point remain very hands-off. It also seems like despite the attention they paid to his dysphemia during that one period, by the time of the series they’ve totally stopped trying to support him about it.

Basically, I think his parents are largely neglectful (emotionally rather than materially) but that every so often, they freak out and pay a bunch of attention to him because they perceive him to be in need of rescuing. When he was young, he probably appreciated the attention when it happened, but at the time of the series he gets those needs met in other ways and/or displaces that need for attention onto Kiyoi. The idea of seeking attention in this way maps especially well onto his relationship with Kiyoi, because he seeks Kiyoi’s attention and approval through exactly the sort of strategies typically used by people with self-defeating personalities. Here’s McWilliams again:

Reik (1941) explored several dimensions of masochistic acting out, including (1) provocation [she refers to a previous anecdote about a woman who feared angry outbursts by her partner because of experiences with her father; she would act out in ways that antagonized him in order to “get it over with”], (2) appeasement (“I’m already suffering, so please withhold any further punishment”), (3) exhibitionism (“Pay attention: I’m in pain”), and (4) deflection of guilt (“See what you made me do!”).

I can think of plenty of instances of provocation (the first type). Hira often does things he knows will make Kiyoi angry, and sometimes visibly relishes the negative attention.

One good example is the scene in Eternal where he creates a totally avoidable misunderstanding by vaguely talking about how “a divorce is going to happen” because of an affair, which Kiyoi takes to be referring to their relationship and specifically, to Hira cheating. When Kiyoi rears back to punch him, Hira protests for a moment but then says being killed by Kiyoi is actually a longstanding wish of his. It turns out it’s Naho-chan who is getting divorced because her husband cheated. Hira could easily have spoken more clearly when he brought this up by using subjects in his sentences. When he first brings up divorce, Kiyoi says, “Who are you to decide on your own without me agreeing? What dissatisfaction do you have with me?”, which makes it clear he thinks Hira is referring to something involving him. Yet Hira continues to speak without subjects when he elaborates and says the reason for the divorce is an affair. He only clears up the misunderstanding after Kiyoi has lost all patience and is (legitimately!) freaking out. There's no way this isn't, on some level, intentional.

One version of appeasement (the second type of self-defeating acting out) that McWilliams talks about is criticizing oneself before others can do so. It’s no exaggeration to say that Hira talking himself down to Kiyoi is a defining characteristic of their relationship. There are lots of examples of this but a particularly classic case is his constant refrain about being a “pebble.” His invitation for Kiyoi to “Please hit me as much as you want” after their fight in season 2 is another example of appeasement. 

It’s hard to pin down specific examples of Hira employing the third type of acting out, exhibitionism. It makes sense that they wouldn’t be easy to find, though. This is a very covert type of exhibitionism that doesn’t announce itself. I think you can observe it in subtle ways, though. For example, when Shirota dumps tomato juice on Kiyoi, a bunch of it gets on Hira as well. Afterwards, Kiyoi cleans the juice off of himself as best he can, seemingly as quickly as possible, and changes his clothes. But when he talks to Hira afterward, dried drops of juice are clearly visible on Hira’s face. Acidic juice on one’s face would probably feel uncomfortable, but he intentionally doesn’t wash it off. It’s like he’s wearing these stains as a badge of honor and proof of his mistreatment.

I think deflection of guilt, the fourth type, is less characteristic of Hira than the others. He tends to absorb guilt rather than deflecting it, blaming himself in a way that often takes the form of the self-critical form of appeasement.

I think it's worth noting that he also employs appeasement as a strategy in the hostile environment of high school. His biggest rule in school is to avoid attention as much as possible, so exhibitionism and provocation aren't acceptable options. (He does disobey Shirota in a way that could be considered provocation when the rift between Kiyoi and Shirota first starts to form, but I think that's more a case of overt rebellion.) We don't see him employ deflection of guilt, though his teacher does seem a bit more forgiving of his attack on Shirota given what he knows about Hira's experiences with bullying. But appeasement? When he can't avoid attention entirely, that is his go-to strategy. It doesn't draw much, if any, additional attention this way. He can demonstrate to people who pose a danger to him that he's not a threat and is ready to comply with their orders if it will allow him to avoid mistreatment. It's only when he finds a kind of vicarious strength in Kiyoi (see my post here for more on that aspect of Hira) that he starts to deal with the bullying in other ways.

So, yeah. Hira's parents initially formed these patterns in Hira, peers deepened them, and they came out in his relationship with Kiyoi. A big part of the shift that needs to happen in order for their relationship to last is for Hira to stop using self-defeating strategies to sneakily get his needs met by Kiyoi and start seeking what he needs openly and assertively.

Maybe now would be a good time to brush off those other in-progress Utsukare posts and try to finish them off while I have a bit of momentum, huh?

By the way, if you’re interested in my previous Utsukare posts, I have a master post here with links to everything.

[emiliosandozsequence]

Tell us about sjm. Spill the tea.

oh man there really is SOOO very much of it that idk how i'll fit all into one response, but i'll do my best 🫡

so sjm or sarah j maas is a very popular fantasy writer (she is the origin of 'feminist' romantasy as a genre because her writing has just been THAT influential (in some good ways, but mostly in bad ones for reasons i'll get to in a minute). she's jewish and has white skin, blonde hair, and blue eyes (this also is relevant i promise).

anyway, despite her writing being so influential it...is really not that good (it has the potential to be tho which is one of the (many) reasons why reading her stuff is so frustrating) and she has a HUUUGE problem with putting her biases in her writing, in particular her racism, misogyny, and ableism.

her racism is at a level that i truly find unbelievable. in every book of hers, every character that is seen as good/smart/beautiful/brave, is a main character, or, at the very least, starts out that way in the story and doesn't have a redemption arc later after the narrative has already taught you to hate her (because it's always female characters this is done with too), has fair hair and light colored eyes (and almost always light skin too); on the opposite end of the spectrum, every single (female) character that either is in the story for not very long, isn't a main character, starts out a bad or undesirable person in some manner, or isn't considered good/smart/beautiful/brave has dark hair, eyes, and/or skin.

this is a tame tho in comparison to the fact that in the first two throne of glass books (one the series she's written), the only black character is considered a manipulative liar (she's even described as such on the wiki lmao) despite being the main character's best friend before she's summarily killed off in an extremely violent manner all for the development of that main character. she also has an asian character in the acotar series that is considered rude and emotionless, despite, again, being a best friend of the main characters. oh and of COURSE the asian character doesn't have dark eyes lol. because...can't have that in a sjm book!!!! no one can look like an irl person of color AT ALL!!!! g-d. and then, ofc, there's the illyrians, which are 100% coded as people of color and are a violent and misogynistic group of people lmao. as if htat weren't bad enough, she also tried to trademark illyria/illyiran even tho (and this is what made me make the post this morning) that's a REAL PLACE with REAL PEOPLE LIVING THERE.

and even THAT is tame to the fact she posted a promotion for her own book on the same day breonna taylor was killed and, not only that, but used her death to promote said book because she mentioned the murder in one (1) line of the post. to this day she has STILL NOT taken down that post.

compared to that, her misogyny in her novels (the main character constantly competing with other girls and always thinking she's better than they are and 'not like other girls teehee') and her glaring plagiarism (she uses terminology not only directly pulled from asoiaf (wolf in the north; the queen who was promised; oathbreaker; breaker of chains) but is used in exactly the same context as asoiaf too as well as some pretty significant plotlines of dany's (in particular her freeing the slaves of several cities and gathering up everyone on her continent to support her claim to the throne and unite in defense against a common foe that will turn all of them into walking zombies basically....SOUND FAMILIAR??????)) is a pretty tame offense, but imo it all adds up to just one disgusting whole of a person to me.

oh and, to top it all off, she's a zionist. there's a video essay about her i watched on youtube that explains the proof for this, but i do Not remember what it was she said now, so i'll link it here.

she's also ableist too, which expresses itself in how nesta archeron is treated throughout a court of silver flames (g-d forbid a traumatized woman be hypersexual and an addict and get sick of being treated like shit by the peope around her or she deserves to get thrown out of her home to a place her 'loved ones' know is going to be openly hostile to her lol). i don't think sjm even realizes how ableist she is throughout this book bc she claimed it's a healing journey and like...lol. lmao even.

also (i'm 100% being petty here) i hate how fake she comes across. in every time i see a picture of her, and the one interview of her i saw, she reminds me so much of my mother to the point it makes me physically ill.

i'm almost certainly forgetting something because there's just SOOO much about this woman to dislike, but this is everything that immediately came to mind.

anyway her fans are also rancid and believe she's some sort of goddess of writing when she's not even that good and is 100% a fake and shitty person that doesn't truly care about them at all whatsoever.

[transandersrights]

Bioware's dislike of the mage rebellion

I really enjoyed Absolution, but it continues to immensely frustrate me that people writing for Bioware refuse to write pro-rebellion mages. Qwydion is a "rebel mage" - whose introductory line about the topic is that she isn't actually a rebel. She's a mercenary who pretends to care about the rebellion because people pay more for a cause. It annoyed me, but also got me thinking:

Since Anders, there have been no (afaik) pro-rebellion mages in major roles in Dragon Age media - and very few pro-rebellion characters have ever been portrayed in a favourable light.

Major mage characters since the start of the mage rebellion (I'm counting from the end of DA2), excluding comics/short stories/Tevinter Nights:

Rhys (Asunder). He starts as a Libertarian who defects to the Aequitarians because of disagreements with a pro-rebellion mage. He votes in favour of mages leaving the Circles, but he's not exactly happy about it.

Felassan (Masked Empire). Not particularly concerned with the rebellion. Definitely has other priorities - the Circle can't really touch him.

Valya (Last Flight). The whole premise behind her existence in the novel (I haven't finished it yet) is that she doesn't want to fight in the rebellion. She would rather die as a Warden than take her chances as a rebel.

Vivienne (Inquisition). We know how this one goes. Pro-Circle, fervently anti-rebellion.

Solas (Inquisition). Not pro-Circle, but he's more apostate than rebel and more *gestures at his whole deal* than apostate.

Dorian (Inquisition). Tevinter, with little to no stakes in the rebellion. Will specifically voice his doubts about whether a full alliance with the mage rebellion is actually a good idea.

Mage Inquisitor (Inquisition). Can absolutely hold anti-Circle and pro-rebellion views. Only a Trevelyan mage Inquisitor can have been a rebel, though.

Qwydion (Absolution). As discussed above, more of a mercenary than a rebel and her only comment on the matter is stating that she isn't one.

Saphira (Absolution). Again, a Tevinter mage with no real stake in the rebellion. Was seemingly in Ferelden during Inquisition, but makes no comment on the rebellion.

And what about the narrative's general treatment of mage characters, particularly mage rebels? Well, it's not good. People have already discussed at length that Anders is almost universally demonised in post-DA2 Dragon Age media that mentions him, but he's not the only one.

The most fervent mage rebels in Asunder are Adrian and Fiona - the former is generally discredited as a scary radical who alienates people with her actions, and the latter is portrayed largely as foolish/weak in Inquisition (I disagree, but the narrative of Inquisition has little time for it). The mage rebellion in Inquisition is seen as a terrible, dangerous group destroying the region just as much as the Templars and for just as bad a reason.

More recent Dragon Age entries are also more generally anti-blood magic - no blood mage companions in Inquisition, no specialisation, characters who will speak against it frequently (most notably Hawke), and a blood mage villain in Absolution. Not to mention that Absolution also inadvertently reinforces the "necessity" of Harrowings by showing that Rezaren failed his.

And that isn't even the end of it!! There's a general narrative arc in Dragon Age which serves to validate the Chantry view of mages - the Blight was (seemingly) caused by Tevinter mages. The elven gods were just powerful mages - and they were slavers just like in Tevinter (making our only two examples of mage-dominated societies also slave-based). Mage companions deceive or betray you, their actions responsible/anticipated to be responsible for hundreds of deaths in a way that isn't the case for other former companions. The mage who found the cure for tranquility accidentally killed everyone in the city. From the Chantry boom onwards, 3/5 of our biggest in-game antagonists/bosses have been mages. If we're counting Absolution, that brings us up to 4/6.

This means that the general message of recent Dragon Age isn't just a disdain for the rebellion and its participants, but also a general lean towards saying that the rebellion should never have happened in the first place - because the Templars are right. Mages are Bad.

This probably isn't much of a revelation for a lot of people, but it stands completely in contrast with how I (and a lot of people) understand mage-related conflicts in Dragon Age. How Bioware have managed to set up a compelling narrative showing oppression+attempts to deconstruct it and then decided that no one should resist it (and if they do, they're never good people) is just.......what.

[copperbadge]

Usually I post short stories as little tags after posting up novels from the Shivadhverse, and I recently came up with one when I realized that for a significant portion of the next book, Noah's going to be figuring out where he wants to go to college.

I have a pretty good idea of where he's going, but I am introducing, eventually, a very small and new university in Askazer-Shivadlakia, the Royal Shivadh University (currently 78 undergraduates and 15 graduate students). It occurred to me that Noah would be torn between repping for RSU and getting it some international attention, or attending a school with better name-recognition in a country where his stepbrother isn't king.

The central plot of the story is that Noah is taking a poll, and the whole country is basically involved in one massive wank in the comments about where he should attend. So I thought a poll here would be fun. Feel free to get fighty in the comments as well. Presuming he's accepted to these schools...

[burning-academia-if]

Hi again. If you've been around a while you're probably going to be like "Em, again??" But guess who got sick for the 6th time this year and this time it was a full on chest infection!! It has been three weeks, and somehow I am still Not Free!!

Anyway, BA fell to the wayside this month because it was Velox Fabula time and I've yet to miss a Velox jam (also...chest infection). I also needed to get my sudden and newfound Pirates of the Caribbean obsession out of the way so! I made a short pirate visual novel for the jam and I'm normal again. I also released the prologue of my side IF To Taste Sweet Silver (@sweetsilver-if) just to have it out. Feel free to check it out if you want, but it likely won't be updated for a while as I'm shifting gears back to BA for September!

I don't have much to report but:

UI update should be out in the next week or two depending on how I'm feeling. It won't look like much to y'all since it's more for my sake via cleaning up the code LOL but there were things added (friendship indicators, open dyslexic font option, character page updated, stat page updated, glossary page added) I'm not a graphic designer but it's better organized I think. There won't be an Official Post about it because it isn't new content, but I will make a small announcement when it's out. It'll also include the originally deleted Lars/Zoe/Nevio lunch scene in Chapter 2 as well. Sorry this is taking so long, I just really struggle with the coding side of things which has made the process slow.

Writing in August was also slow, and honestly, I think I really needed those few weeks off not thinking about BA. My inbox being very quiet helped as well, so I really did take a real break from BA. When I opened up the writing doc, I felt a whole lot better about working on BA again, and we have hit 100k words finally!

Anyway, I don't want to lament much, but I did have a personal goal of releasing up to Chapter 4 this year which obviously is Not Going to Happen. It honestly sucks I got sick so often this year because it cut into so much time for creative projects, be it BA or anything else.

I'm not really going to be hard on myself for it, though. I think releasing 3 chapters this year considering everything that kept Going Wrong this year is actually pretty good. I just think its annoying when I know I could have done it but the universe said no instead akfjalfa Anyway, I'm not sure when Chapter 3 will release but I do have a good feeling about September and I think I'll be able to at least get a decent chunk done this month!

Finally, September marks the one year anniversary for this blog and October marks the one year anniversary of BA releasing!! I feel like I literally just started writing this, the fact it's September already is wild.

I was going to do art commissions, but due to surprise car issues, I don't really have the money for that now (next year for sure though!!), so I was thinking of maybe doing character Q&As to celebrate? I've also seen some authors do raffles, but I'm not entirely sure what I would raffle off? Maybe personalized short stories with readers MCs if there's interest in that? I'm not sure yet, but I have a month to figure it out lol

But also thank you to everyone who has followed along!! It's been a really fun time both writing BA and on the blog. I know I say this a lot, but I'm really glad this is such a chill place. It's nice for me the author obviously, but it's also nice because I always want the spaces I have to feel like safe places for others as well so! Thanks again!

Lastly, I normally would end on a little snippet or preview but since most of what I wrote was just the two different openings, I feel like I have nothing fun to tease (or maybe I'm too picky about snippets idk). Hopefully Zoe's bday post tomorrow makes up for it, and I'll post some snippets later in the month instead!

Thanks for reading!

[bethanydelleman]

do you have any book recommendations beyond classic lit + Jane Austen? Love your blog by the way!

Thanks! I read/have read a ton of books. My favourite genre as a child was fantasy, but I read almost everything except true crime*, thrillers, murder mysteries, self-help, and biography. But I do sometimes read those, my favourite thriller is Sometimes I Lie by Alice Feeney. I'm going to start with children's books because honestly, I find so much imagination in that genre.

Children's/YA Books: Gail Carson Levine, specifically The Princess Tales 1 & 2, and Ella Enchanted, among others Jean Little/Kit Pearson - these authors have the same vibe to me. Willow and Twig is a favourite from the first one, The Guests of War trilogy and Awake and Dreaming from the other. They both write coming of age novels for girls, both Canadian. Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children by Ransom Riggs - I loved the whole trilogy (haven't watched the movie). The story being based around real antique trick photos is my favourite part The Echorium Sequence by Katherine Roberts - a trilogy of books about magical singers with blue hair and their interactions with half-human magical creatures Margaret Peterson Haddix, specifically Running Out of Time, the Shadow Children series, and Double Identity. Margaret Buffie, who writes stories about teenage girls and ghosts. Also Canadian, which I guess isn't that surprising. The Hunger Games series by Suzanne Collins. Re-read it last summer and it's as good as I remembered. Roald Dahl, I really loved Matilda as a child, it's been fun to read some of these novels with my kids. Sideways Stories from Wayside School by Louis Sachar - and it's sequels. Amazingly quirky and funny stories about a class of students in a weird school

Fantasy: Mercedes Lackey, specifically the Five Hundred Kingdoms series and The Obsidian universe. I also loved the Elvenbane series, but due to the death of Andre Norton it may never be finished. I would advise caution if sexual assault is triggering for you, the ones I like are mostly free of it but that can come up in her other works. Lord of the Rings by J.R.R. Tolkien - obviously. Also loved The Hobbit, have not read further The Broken Earth trilogy by N.K. Jemisin - the book opens with the triggering of an apocalypse. The world contains people who can control earthquakes A Baroque Fable by Chelsea Quinn Yarbro - this book is so hilarious but I don't know if anyone has heard about it Once Upon a Winter's Night by Dennis L. McKiernan - and it's sequels. This is a romance retold fairy tale series

Science Fiction: Michael Crichton - who spans a bunch of genres but I'll put him here. I've read everything he's written and I recommend most of it. State of Fear has not aged well. His books are very fast-paced and Timeline has one of the best enemies to lovers. Orson Scott Card - I am aware, but Ender's Game is a masterpiece. He also has this single novel called Magic Street that is a sequel to A Midsummer Night's Dream. I also loved Memories of Earth but it's been a while since I read it. I, Robot by Issac Asimov - short stories about artificial intelligence and how it might go weird

Graphic novels: Astro City by Kurt Busiek - superhero, but more focused on how living in that world would affect normal people Y: The Last Man by Brian K. Vaughan and Pia Guerra - every male on earth dies, except for one, and his monkey Fables by Bill Willlingham - after being attacked by an army of wooden soldiers, fairy tale characters and creatures seek refuge in a non-magical world (ours) Nimona by ND Stevenson - a villain gains a shape-shifting sidekick, but she is not what she seems Scurry by Mac Smith - post-apocalyptic earth, the main characters are all surviving mice. Best artwork I've ever seen in a graphic novel American Vampire by Scott Snyder- vampires have different traits depending on their home country, this is about the new, American species. Asterix and Obelix by René Goscinny and Albert Uderzo - a small group of powerful Gauls defend themselves against the Romans using a magical potion

Non Fiction: Stephan Pinker, I've read both of his trilogies on language and the brain. Trying to get through his huge book about violence The Man Who Mistook His Wife for a Hat by Oliver Sacks - writen by a neurologist, fascinating book Doing Harm: The Truth About How Bad Medicine and Lazy Science Leave Women Dismissed, Misdiagnosed, and Sick by Maya Dusenbery - what it says on the tin

Toddler/Young Child Books: The Monster at the End of This Book by Jon Stone - I give you a 100% guarantee that if you read this book aloud, the kids will be fascinated. It is literally always a hit Robert Munsch - most of his books are amazing, but if you don't want to cry, DO NOT read the backstory of Love You Forever. The Paper Bag Princess was one of my favourites as a child. Little Critter - only the older ones, the new ones are religious for some reason. Just for You and I Was So Mad were favourites for my kids. Early lesson in unreliable narrators. Phoebe Gilman - Something From Nothing, the Jillian Jiggs series, The Balloon Tree... so many good ones! Really good illustrations too Little Pea by Amy Krouse Rosenthal - a book about a pea who hates eating candy. This book is fun to read and my kids loved it (I have the box set) The Book with No Pictures by B.J. Novak - kids love when adults have to do weird things I Want My Hat Back by Jon Klassen - perfect opportunity to do a lot of funny voices The Mitten by Jan Brett - a whole bunch of animals squeeze into a mitten. That's the whole thing. It's great. The Very Cranky Bear by Nick Bland - and the rest of the series. These are fun to read because they rhyme. Jonathan Stutzman - my kids LOVE Tiny T. Rex and the Llama series. We haven't read the others An Elephant & Piggie by Mo Willems - we have this entire series, they are a delight. An elephant and pig are very silly friends. Good drawings Dr. Seuss - be careful with him though, his books are quite long and can be hard to read, so I recommend waiting until your kids are a bit older. But The Lorax slaps and my personal favourite as a kid was The 500 Hats of Bartholomew Cubbins

Other: Still Alice by Lisa Genova - or any of her books really. She is a neuroscientist and her books are really interesting explorations of different disorders. Book is better than the movie Warm Bodies by Issac Marion - zombie Romeo and Juliet Sophie's World by Jostein Gaarder - a novel that is also an intro to philosophy course Calvin and Hobbes - I own all of them, so excited for when my kids can understand them. I also love The Far Side, Zits, and the earlier Dilbert comics The Women in Black by Madeleine St. John - this book is absolutely charming. I saw the Netflix movie and then bought it right away.

*I avoid true crime because I have heard that the genre causes harassment to victim's families

General Note: I am aware that some of these authors are now considered controversial, some for more serious reasons than others. Sometimes flawed people make really good art. I mean, flawed people make all art because nobody on earth is perfect.

[one-flower-one-sword]

alright, I'm going to start a new post because I'd really like to continue this discussion but my post about the contrasts between Jun Wu and Hua Cheng that started it all has been getting too long to keep adding to it. me and @illuminatedferret were discussing whether or not Jun Wu knows Hua Cheng and Wuming are the same person. I'm also going to tag @csilla-nocturine because you had also commented with similar points but I forgot to tag you yesterday, I'm sorry T_T. this was my response to both of your very interesting points on my last reblog on the original post, which I've copied over to this post:

First of, I think Hua Cheng being right there ready to voice his own feelings on the matter wouldn’t take away from Jun Wu's satisfaction in reminding Xie Lian of what he almost did while at his lowest - and what happened to Wuming as a consequence of that. In fact, Hua Cheng revealing then and there that he is Wuming might have played right into that - regardless of Hua Cheng stating that it's an honor for him to die for Xie Lian and that he never blamed him and so on - Xie Lian would still feel like he's caused his beloved's second death. like you said though, interpreting that scene precisely is difficult!

the second thing is that if Jun Wu has no idea who Hua Cheng is and thinks he and Xie Lian have basically just met, it doesn't really make sense to me that he'd immediately and repeatedly try to separate them, the specific ways he goes about doing that, and that he'd call Hua Cheng "a very faithful believer" of Xie Lian's, as he'd have no evidence that Hua Cheng sees Xie Lian as his god and worships him as he knows Wuming did:

"Do you know who that ghost was?" White No-Face asked.

"A... A soul of someone who died on the battlefield?" Xie Lian tried.

"Yes," White-No Face replied. "But he was also your very last believer in this world. And now, he's no more. [...] Oh yes, that's right. This wasn't the first time you've met him," White No-Face continued. [...] "That ghost had been following you for a while. At first, I thought he was simply deeply resentful, so I caught and interrogated him; his answers were quite interesting. The Zhongyuan Festival. A night of lanterns. A wandering ghost fire. Do you remember? [...] In life, he was a soldier under your command," White No-Face lazily hinted. "In death, his soul followed you, turned into a wrath ghost because you were pierced by a hundred swords. And now, his soul has been obliterated because you unleashed the plague of Human Face Disease."

Xie Lian seemed to vaguely recall something, but he hadn't even seen his believer's face, he didn't even know his name - what could he recall?

TGCF Volume 6, page 339

then @illuminatedferret your response to this was:

Those are some good points! I could definitely attribute the kinda weird feeling of the dialogue to Jun Wu being increasingly unbalanced and desperate, rather than him not knowing about Wuming. The 'faithful believer' bit, I just figured he saw Hua Cheng as a threat to his plans for Xie Lian. You're right that his immediate actions to separate them make more sense if he already knows their history together. But, by this point(the initial dialogue from Book 5, I mean), he has explicitly seen the Cave of Ten Thousand Gods, so no matter what he definitely knows Hua Cheng is a believer of Xie Lian.

First of, I want to thank you both for being so interested in my original post and taking the time to write down and share your arguments! like I said in my initial response, I can see both your lines of reasoning as well :) for me though, there's too many scenes throughout the whole novel that either hint at Jun Wu knowing or that don't make sense to me if he doesn't. Like the Cave of Ten Thousand Gods... isn't that actually more evidence that he knows Hua Cheng is Wuming? Because from the above quote I included, Jun Wu knows exactly where Wuming had met Xie Lian before, which are also things Hua Cheng depicted in the murals in the cave. Now, the murals were covered by butterfly silk, but iirc it's not clear if they always were or if Hua Cheng just ordered the silk to cover them once Xie Lian, Mu Qing, and Feng Xin started to investigate the cave. in any case, they tear it down. plus, in addition to the murals, the statues depict Xie Lian in situations that would also match what Jun Wu "interrogated" out of Wuming. Even if we assume (which personally I don't) that Jun Wu didn't know before this point, I can't imagine him seeing all of that and not realizing that Hua Cheng is Wuming, not with everything he already knew about the latter.

also... the irony of Jun Wu knowing all this but not Xie Lian. and not just that, from the fact that Xie Lian wasn't aware of any of this until he lands in the caves, Jun Wu also knows that Hua Cheng has not told Xie Lian any of this, even with how much time they've been spending together, because Hua Cheng either doesn't want or doesn't dare to tell him - the latter being correct, as we know:

"San Lang, what kind of person is your special someone? Why haven't you won them over yet?"

[...] "It's alright if gege finds it funny," Hua Cheng replied. "But, truth is, I'm afraid. [...] That person saw me at my worst." (Vol 4, page 181).

also, from certain murals and/or statues that are implied or outright stated to depict things of a more sexual nature, he would know that Hua Cheng not only worships but desires Xie Lian - information he then tries to use to, again, drive a wedge between them and provoke Hua Cheng into hurting Xie Lian, like when he disguises himself as Mu Qing and Feng Xin:

"Hua Cheng! What do you think you're doing to his Highness?! You're disgusting! [...] Keep your filthy hands off him. Does the ugly toad want a taste of swan meat?" Mu Qing sneered. "Never mind dreaming of it for eight hundred years - you can hope for a thousand more, but don't even think of touching a single one of His Highness's fingers!"

Xie Lian's heart dropped. But while the comments annoyed him, he could sense that something was amiss.

What was wrong with those two? [...] It seemed that they were purposefully trying to provoke Hua Cheng. But there was no reason for that; they knew they couldn't beat him, so what did they want? Moreover, their tone subtly pointed the spear in Xie Lian's direction. It was like they wanted to stir up confusion - as though they wanted Hua Cheng to do something to Xie Lian in a fit of anger.

TGCF Volume 6, page 72

Hua Cheng has been dreaming about being with Xie Lian for eight hundred years - so this barb feels way too pointed and knowledgeable for Jun Wu to just randomly be accusing him of this, especially with this exact number.

This has gotten quite long again, so I'm gonna cut myself off here (I could talk about this topic for hours as you can surely tell by now, I think it's super fascinating). feel free to reply to this post/reblog with a response, but I also completely get if you're not as into this discussion and want to be done with it by now, no hard feelings! also, if we have to agree to disagree after all, that's also fine, and I'll thank you both again for your interest :)

okay one last thing I swear - since this was all spawned by comparing and contrasting Jun Wu and Hua Cheng, I also just realized how poetic it is that to Jun Wu, Mount Tonglu is where he releases all his hate, whereas Hua Cheng literally carved out a place there where he pours out all his love. damn do I love this novel

[darkstarofchaos]

Ableism in Transformers: EarthSpark

So I didn't plan to post this during Disability Pride Month (I actually started writing it before Season 2 came out), but you know what, it's thematically appropriate, this post was nearly done anyway, might as well finish it off.

Also, happy Disability Pride Month.

Transformers historically does not handle disability well. From the earliest days of Chip Chase - a disabled character - declaring that no one is truly disabled as long as they have courage, to TFA Blitzwing being a DID stereotype and beyond, ableism runs rampant in the franchise. So when EarthSpark made Dot disabled - thus giving us a disabled character who isn't the villain or a stereotype - I actually thought it was a step in the right direction.

Then I saw someone point out that the hero got the disability that can be hidden, while the villain's disability is scary and deforming. And you know what? They're right. In fact, not only is Mandroid's disability portrayed in a far more disturbing way, Dot's disability just never comes up outside of plot-relevant moments (this includes episodic plots like that of Bear Necessities).

I'll come back to Mandroid's Disabled Villain status later, but suffice to say, the show's ableism only gets worse as it goes on. Credit where credit is due, I liked the bit in Bear Necessities where Nightshade learns not to mess with Dot's prostheses. That was a good message. But we do see a lot of other characters fall into ableist tropes. I might miss a couple, but here's at least some of the major ones (under the cut for length, but also, minor references to Season 2 ahead):

Jawbreaker Jawbreaker is widely perceived by fans as having autism, and while he's not confirmed as such, his struggle finding an altmode does feel like an analogue for delayed development. Which makes it kind of infantilizing that he's the one portrayed as sweet and naive. Yes, he's very young and socially isolated, and yes, people mature at different rates. But his siblings are also young and isolated, and they all get to grow as characters very quickly (well, most of them).

Twitch, Thrash, and Hashtag all start in a similar place of innocent enthusiasm, but their personalities develop beyond that within a few episodes. Twitch is shown to be more responsible than Thrash long before she takes on a leadership role, Thrash's initial rebelliousness fits well with his later cynicism about inheriting the consequences of the war, and while Hashtag matures a bit more slowly than her older siblings, she has distinct hobbies and interests. Nightshade doesn't really have much emotional development, but even they have clear interests (anyone who says their character revolves around being nonbinary is willfully ignoring both their scientific proclivity and their instant and enthusiastic attachment to a sci-fi/fantasy novel).

None of the triplets get as much development as their older siblings (yes, I'm saying that Thrash, largely ignored by the narrative, gets more development than they do. I'll talk more about Hashtag in a minute), but two of the three at least have their own identity. But what about Jawbreaker? What does he like to do when he's on his own? What are his interests? Aside from a passing mention of wrestling, I have no idea. There's not a whole lot to his character except "sweet", "naive", and "wants an altmode".

Don't get me wrong, I like Jawbreaker. And it's not ableist to show a character feeling left out or less capable because he can't do things other kids his age can. But he should have been allowed to develop as a character, regardless of what he can or can't do, and he wasn't given that. His entire motivation and defining trait prior to having an altmode was wanting one, and lamenting his inability to help the others at various points because he doesn't have one.

Originally, I finished the above paragraph by saying that has to change now that he does have an altmode. However, I can no longer say that because Season 2 took all the problems of Season 1 and made them worse. He still has no motivation or personal goals outside of those shared by the group, still has no clear interests, and his naivety has been boosted to socially oblivious, overly trusting, and a stereotype of chattiness who can be outright told he's bothering someone and keep doing it. Even thought he's more confident now (and good for him, truly), his portrayal has somehow become more infantilizing. Someone give this mech a hobby and a focus episode that isn't about how sweet and naive he is, please.

Grimlock Soooo. Character with trauma gets triggered and attacks people. We're really going there, huh.

Honestly, I'm not sure I need to say more about this. Grimlock's episode was one of the most disappointing S1 episodes to me for a lot of reasons, but his rampage at the end was the icing on the cake. Even if you assume Grimlock was one of the (rare) cases of trauma leading to a violent reaction, literally nothing was forcing him to go into town. If he was overwhelmed and upset, there is no reason why he would beeline to the most stimulating area possible instead of literally any other direction that wasn't as busy. Entire latter half of the episode was just manufactured drama to hit a robot battle quota.

(Random PSA, Grimlock does not have PTSD. Not yet anyway. A diagnosis of PTSD requires symptoms to last at least a month. If they resolve sooner, it would be Acute Stress Disorder instead).

Additional tangent, but I personally think that episode should have been a Hashtag episode. Or at very least, her side role should have been more relevant to the fact that she and Grimlock both experienced the same thing. Yes, Jawbreaker needed to get his altmode, and I understand making him the focus of the episode because of it, but there would have been plenty of time for Hashtag to have a talk with Grimlock or one of the other adults if the whole rampage thing was cut. Maybe she couldn't tell Elita what happened to her because the kids weren't supposed to be out that night, but she could have asked if Grimlock was okay and learned a bit about trauma that way. And it would have been a natural steppingstone to her being surprisingly insightful with Starscream later.

But no. We needed "dino rage". Because apparently some people are just inherently violent. Really do not like that episode. And speaking of episodes I don't like:

Robby I know this post is the ableism edition and not the "things happen because plot" edition, but I just need to throw out there that the entire episode where Robby got hurt should not have happened. The entire series is about keeping the Terrans hidden from GHOST, neither Dot nor Optimus should have even considered that a secret field trip to GHOST Headquarters might be a good idea. Not for the human kids, and especially not for the robot kids.

Anyway.

Not gonna lie, I thought they were going to go in more of a chronic illness direction with Robby when he was struggling in the following episode. He seemed fine apart from not being able to keep up with the others (okay, not fine, but I didn't look at him and think, ah yes, this child is dying. No one was treating it like it was that serious). I don't think it would have been too dark, either - certainly not as dark as Robby almost dying to this thing twice - because there are plenty of kids out there with acquired disabilities. It happens (in retrospect, the action cartoon for kids was not going to take one of the main kids out of the action, but I still feel like it was a reasonable assumption at the time).

And of course, we heal the mysterious illness with magic in the end. Even though they could have just, y'know. Made it nonlethal and chronic, and then they wouldn't have needed a magical cure. Or even just nonlethal and lingering, there were plenty of options apart from deadly and cured by magic. I guess I can't complain too much about the magical cure when the illness might have been magical in origin, but honestly, if I can't complain about that, I'm just gonna complain about the lack of explanation regarding the illness instead.

Twitch Honorable mention goes to Twitch having an optic broken and then magically repaired a minute later. I actually didn't mind the magical life tower that much - the healing powers were foreshadowed with the above Robby arc, it may have been a copout, but it was a copout that made sense with the established story - but I was really annoyed that Twitch's optic got repaired. Specifically because I had an OC once who was blind in one eye, and while roleplaying with my brother, he decided to magically heal the character. Magical eye-healing has been a weirdly specific pet peeve ever since.

Hardtop Honorable mention #2 goes to Hardtop, not because of the show, but because of the viewers who keep asking why his arm isn't fixed. Neither side has a medic, and it's unlikely the Decepticons have the knowledge or the resources for that kind of repair. I'm sure Hardtop, like many disabled people, would love to get the medical help he needs. Alas, that requires having access to it. And he doesn't.

I guess we should get to the elephant in the room now, shouldn't we?

Mandroid So. Yeah. Disabled villain who's a villain because he's disabled trope.

I gotta be honest, I had no interest in Mandroid as a character. We didn't get enough time with the villains to fully develop more than one, and I'd rather have seen more focus on the leader of the evil organization that the heroes were working with (I am admittedly biased, since "protagonists are forced to work with antagonists who have all the power" is a favorite of mine and we don't see it enough). But of the characters who actually needed more development, we could have used a few more sentences for Mandroid. We could have had them, too.

I don't have a problem with a villain claiming their path to villainy started when they were disabled. I don't even necessarily mind if they believe it, because harmful people will use whatever they can to excuse harmful behavior, including disabilities. But if your villain is going to use it as an excuse, it needs to be clear that it is an excuse: not "well, I was disabled too, and I'm not a villain", but "they were always the kind of person who would do something like this".

To put it another way, Mandroid's hatred for Cybertronians should predate his becoming disabled. At bare minimum, he should have been predisposed towards hating them (not seeing them as people, working with them only grudgingly, resenting both factions for bringing their war to Earth, etc). This way, he's already antagonistic towards them before becoming disabled, and it's a logical step to blame Cybertronians as a whole for his injury. And we even had a means of learning this information, because Alex knew him. A bit more insight into that history could have told us a lot about what kind of person Mandroid was before the war.

Would this have fixed the problem? Maybe not. Frankly, the best solution would probably have been to make his disability incidental to his motivation and not the reason he started down this path. But disabled people are still people, and sometimes people suck. Better to show that they always sucked than to make them suck because they're disabled.

[toomanywatchers]

Why I Love Travel Season’s Editing Style:

Okokok- I already made a post stating my love for Travel Season after my first initial watch-through of the first two episodes, but I have more to say. Last night, I could not stop rewatching these episodes. Possibly because I am just over the moon seeing Steven, Andrew, and Adam back in action in a show created 100% by them, and where they are allowed to make it their way- BUT there is another reason I could not stop watching it. All do in part of the editing style.

As a self-taught (and soon to be academically-taught) video editor, my favorite thing when watching digital media is seeing what techniques and styles creators use to convey an overall concept to their videos/shows. Some of the more detail-oriented editing I see in today's climate of internet content comes from Watcher's shows. For instance, Mystery Files with the corkboard graphics. Are You Scared of the hand-drawn art from illustrators Mollie Ong and Rafael Mejia. Dish Granted with the use of circle cutouts and white negative spaces. Weird Wonderful World with its cartoon sound effects and stylistic graphics/music to fit whatever atmosphere the boys are in. Puppet History with the motion graphics being put within the confines of the puppet theatre and just everything that goes into the post-production process of the lore events of that show. I could go on, but I might end up writing a whole novel in the process.

Plus, this is about Travel Season... so let's talk about Travel Season.

I was barely 5 minutes into the first episode when I realized just how different Travel Season stands out against anything Watcher has ever created. The overall vibes of the show are calm, peaceful, comforting, and relaxed. The whole show feels like I am watching an old family home video made in the 90s with a camcorder. This style of content that isn't constantly moving at a fast pace and in your face would not perform well in the YouTube algorithm, and I am glad that Watcher was able to launch their own platform to make shows like Travel Season because gosh, this is the kind of content I miss. Oversaturation and pleasing the algorithm can only go a long way as a creative, trust me.

Anywho- back to editing. I am going to point out just some of my favorite editing details that were showcased in the first two episodes of Travel Season. Starting off with probably my favorite scene from both episodes:

This small clip highlights many of my favorite details of the post-production of Travel Season. The first detail I brought up in my previous post involves The Brick aka the camera. The concept of The Brick ties in with what Meredith, Watcher's Development Coordinator, said in Pod Watcher episode #23 about physical hobbies. Something that we can create in a physical sense that does not belong to a digital realm ala the internet/social media. The idea of having a functional prop with The Brick can tie a whole show aesthetic together, but in this case, The Brick also aids in the post-production allowing the team to make smooth-flowing transitions. What I mean is sometimes, especially with a show like Travel Season where they cover many different locations/activities in one video, finding a perfect, easy-flowing transition can be difficult. Jump cuts can be useful in certain cases to hit a comedic mark or shock the viewer, but that is not the overall vibe of Travel Season. The pictures taken on The Brick from their work tripe an easily organized B-roll for harder transition points and simple things such as finding Seoul provide space for much-needed voiceovers for context.

Another editing point that is provided in this clip is the audio. Watcher has never missed the mark regarding audio choices and the addition of sound effects in their work. Sometimes people think that when editing, the editor finds a song that fits and slaps it on the timeline, but here showcases the idea of editing for the environment. What really stuck out to me is the jump cut to the location and using an effect like Lowpass on the audio to make the audience feel as though they are truly standing outside of this nightclub-esk restaurant. Then it jumps to the audio back to normal with Steven dancing as Andrew browses then back to Lowpass edit as they introduce this next location. It's just such a subtle touch that had me all giddy because small details as this audio editing elevate the scene to another level. Showing that Watcher was trying to make you feel like you are there with the boys on their travels. A true immersion effect that I just love.

Also to Adam and Annie who were both camera operators, your b-roll is absolutely superb and adds to the overall vibe of Travel Season.

The last point of editing I want to bring up as it's on the top of my head are these moments:

When they use a frame hold and then change the aspect ratio for a transition. I just find it such a charming technique in video editing. Plus I feel like this transition fits in with the whole "taking photos" approach because in a way the changing of the ratio on a frame hold is like taking a snapshot of that frame like a picture.

I just... I just love it, okay?

Honestly, I could go on and on about every little detail of this show and how they decided to overall produce it, but like I said- novel.

Watcher just puts so much love and care into all the shows they make. Even when it comes to the last process of video production which is editing the episodes together. I have not seen many channels put this much thought into the specificity of their videos like Watcher. This is why I gravitate towards them so much they care about the little things in the shows they create.

Moral of the story: I am in love with Travel Season and with Watcher as a whole.

thank you for listening to my ted talk aka my nerdy ramblings

[deandoesthingstome]

Hall Pass - Masterlist - Complete

Paring: Henry Cavill x Reader (RPF) NO MINORS!!! (Please do not read or interact if a) you are a minor or b) this isn't your thing. Nothing against you, as I hope you hold nothing against me for this.)

Series Summary: You run into Henry Cavill at the start of a two-week house-sitting vacation. You had some previous plans. Some were ruined by your now ex-boyfriend. Some were made better. Guess by whom? See also: this ask

Series Warnings: I’ll be honest, this whole thing is just self-indulgent smutty fluff. Here’s what I offer: meeting, making out, and having sex with Henry Cavill (rpf). I’m probably NOT going to be adding chapter warnings unless I get a bug to re-write and something worms it’s way into the story that I wasn’t expecting.

A/N: I edited this teaser post to act as the masterlist for this story and so I could take the novel out of the remaining chapters. ;)

A/N 2: I started this story shortly after the fiasco of The Witcher and Superman announcements. I thought about how great it would be to try and cheer him up a little. For the purposes of this story, he is single. No hate to anyone in his life right now, in whatever way you imagine that to be. I also understand if you do not read rpf. Feel free to scroll on by. I don’t need to hear about it.

This was going to be a looooong one-shot, but solicited feedback prompted me to break it up for you. 

Playlist: I will add to Spotify with each chapter.

Word Count: 15K over 4 5 chapters (if you were here before, it said 12K; what can I tell you?)

Posting Schedule: Based on the responses to this post, I decided on a series instead of single post. Every Tuesday and Thursday at 6 am Eastern time, starting February 14th.

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Epilogue

Tag Info Below the Cut (I have not updated this original detail at all; if you are on the current tags for Ch 1 and 2 you will be tagged in the rest, as well as if you've asked after the fact.)

Current Tag Lists: Please let me know if you want on or off. @liveoncoffeeandflowersss I moved you off Other Stories as I assume from our chat about "horse boy Henry shit" you want in on this.

Anything - If you are on Anything and I don't hear from you, I'll assume you DO want the tag: @sillyrabbit81 @kittenofdoomage @mayloma @kebabgirl67 @fvckinghenrycavill @beck07990 @mysweetlittledesire @itsrubberbisquit @feelmyroarrrr

Other Stories - If you are on the Other Stories taglist for my other stories and I don't hear from you, I'll assume you DON'T want a tag for this: @angelcavill66 @lizzystuffsthings @augustsprincess @alexakeyloveloki @enchantedbytomandhenry @kingliam2019

@henryownsme @littlefreya @marantha @angelcavill66 @sweetdreamsofgelato @jeremyrennermakesmesmile @greensleeves888 @dinoswierdmom @geralts-yenn @wabi-sabi1090 @bourbonwithice