#well see what they think but im really nervous
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jay-will-dictate · 4 months ago
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I've got an appointment with a psychiatrist in a moment, I feel so sickkkk
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st4rstudent · 3 months ago
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bugthinker but I just did whatever to him
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bonus slop
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bunnihearted · 1 month ago
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🫖🐭☁️🍚
#so i did ​meet my old friend from years ago yesterday. i was sooooo nervous omgggg. and i was waiting outside the café we agreed on#and then saw them walk in and i was like omgggg. the anxiety... but then i gathered courage and walked towards it and thry saw me thru the#window and came out and immediately hugged me. then they were like 'omg i've been so nervous. even more than before like a date!!'#so that made me relax a bit. i feel like i dont really fully estimate what i mean to them. maybe they care about me as well haha !!#then we just got our stuff and i chose a smoothie and was ready to pay but they just got it with their stuff (they work at this chain so#they got a discount). i feel so so bad & anxious when someone else pays for me. like i feel like a burden#but i asked twice if i should send them money for it and they were like no that's fine. so i had to tell myself to just shut up abt it 🥲#bc if u keep asking u make it into a thing and make them uncomfortable etc. so i really appreciated that and it was nice even if i felt bad#but yeah then we just sat down and talked. and it was so much easier to talk to them than i had been worried abt#like it flew nicely and yeah.. i feel like i forgot a lot abt them. like they're good at conversating. so they kept it going & even if i was#awkward it was fine for them. i did however get swept up in my own anxiety so as they asked me questions i answered#but then was too whirlwindy so i didnt really ask as much back and there were things i wanted to ask but didnt :')))#then they had cards and a card game with them. so we played for a bit too. and it was a lot of fun!!! (i was anxious and kinda slow lmao#bc when i dont know smth or the rules etc already my brain stops working so yeah.. even if it was simple games i was like um um what do i do#felt stupid but yeah again they didnt do anyhing to contribute to me feeling stupid but i still felt slow >.<#but i still thought that was so much fun. i wanna do more of that T-T like yeah...that was nice#then we took a lil longer walk to a bus stop before hastily said goodbye bc the busses came T-T#it was really really really nice tho. i have missed them a lot#and i didnt .. think we would ever see eachother again. i really didnt think this could happen#im so glad i somehow got brave enough to message them and im so so glad they wanted to see me too#i cant help but wish i could go back to when we were younger#and we spent every day in school together and messaged during the days and evenings and spent sm time together#when we went into the city like several times a week and took long walks. ahh... well. im glad we got to have those moments#& idk what will happen now. i really really want to see them again. even if we'll never be that close friends again i'd *wish* that we could#still be in touch. but im so bad at replying which doesnt go over great with them.. i'll try my best to reply quicker to them#*if* they message me. sadly i cant erase my avpd but i'll try my best to reply faster if and when they message)#they also complimented my sweater i was wearing (which is my fav sweater) !!!! and yeah.. they looked so cool. which they always have#and i kept thinking abt how nice their eye makeup was (i was too shy to compliment it tho bc im really bad at like 'nice' affectionate and#anything feeling related. like im so bad... so i couldnt say anything </3)#ugh it was just so nice to sit and talk with them. im so glad i went despite my fears. bc this was so good and nice :')))
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radio-and-the-dirt · 8 months ago
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dude i don't really care if people ship aroace characters just please acknowledge that they're aro and/or ace. like,, aro and ace people still can and do enter into relationships of various types at times and not every aro or ace person completely lacks attraction anyway and some date even if they do, so like, ship them if thats what you want but please just be respectful.
just acknowledge that the character is aro and/or ace. do some research about what that might mean for them if you need to. treat those characters in a way that respects their identities and doesn't completely brush them aside.
im just tired. we can be in relationships. we can not be in relationships. we are still aros and aces. dont try and erase what little representation we get.
i would like to note that i see things in this way because i have never seen a 'professional' writer (like non-fanfic or not a small online creator) specify where an aro/ace character sits on those spectrums or how they actually view relationships of any type. i've also never seen any 'professional' writer's characters get to explore or express that part of themselves enough in their stories to give much better an understanding than just "not really interested in sex or romance".
if a more specific understanding of a character was provided and it meant that that character wouldn't be involved in romantic and/or sexual relationships or was repulsed by them than yeah, I wouldn't want people shipping them at all but i dont think i've ever seen that so thats not what this is about.
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kn11ves · 5 months ago
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my comic is live right now!
kyle and rex is an absurdist drama set in a stagnant afterlife where everyone lies, cheats, manipulates, and hurts each other in order to gain political power and admiration from the public.
with characters constantly haunted by ghosts of the past, trying to stay on top of the food chain despite constant betrayals and having their secrets held up above their heads, comes back kyle, from his long stay back as a guiding spirit on earth, to take back reigns of the throne in the inbetween. though much like everyone else, hes got a long list of dirty laundry that many are aching to reveal. there are no real friends here.
updates every 2 weeks, at 6:30 pm central US time! (SP & ENG)
WEBTOON: english link + spanish link
TAPAS: english link + spanish link
FANEO: spanish link
#HI. GUYS. PUKES EVERYWHERE#im SO FUCKING NERVOUS#oh but first of all the link on top is a link to the promotional animation that goes along with the airing of my comic :) so if you want to#watch that you can. smile#anyways im just. really beyond excited and also terrified to start. cus you know#once i upload this theres no going back and im going to be constantly then publishing project after project thereafter and thats pretty muc#what ive been wanting to do all my life#so im just like this is the start of it this is going to set everything into motion!!!#im not expecting to get a ton of followers or readers or anyhting this soon specially since i think it starts to get GOOOOOD#after you learn some context but this is my first first original launch and im really excited!!!!!#i usually dont do this because i dont find it very important to me not as much as telling a really good story at least but obviously i have#tons of trans and lgbt just entire rainbow up in there and the majority of the characters#are not white they are from different cultures AND times#so if youre looking to read brown and queer stories by authors of the same there is that#anyone is fully welcomed to send any asks with questions or anything whatsoever!!!#i know its sort of a long post but as a notice i will be reblogging this every time i finish an entire new chapter#to keep people aware!!! c: i know it may be a bit annoying but i just want to get the word out !!#if youre bilingual i think it would be fun to see the differences between the translations i put i translated it myself since spanish is my#first language and well i think is funney :3#smile!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#kyle and rex#my comic#webtoon#tapas#faneo#what do people tag these things wif.....#my art#technically!#i supourse ill have to rb it to my art blogs too yipee!!!
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carcarrot · 5 months ago
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do i really want to make individual drinks again
#reaching back into the file cabinets of my mind to remember how i made certain drinks when i worked at the cafe#in preparation for the possibility of this new job#it would certainly mean far less goofing off time than i have at my current job. and i value my goofing off time dearly#but the people here are so fucking annoying lmao. i hate them soooo much#not that the people at this new job would be any better. we're still dealing with investment bankers#godddddd. what i really would want (which would be impossible)#would be to go back to working at the cafe but like. still have paid time off and insurance lmao#but the cafe was a small business and he was not offering paid time off and insurance. and the pay was way less#but i did get to play whatever music i wanted. unfortunately you cant live on that#like i can always say no to this new job if its offered to me. but is my goofing off time worth:#2 dollars less in pay and a half hour to an hour's more commute. well i dont know#a shorter commute would mean i could sleep more. and have more time at home .#i mean i probably don't Need all this goofing off time. but its nice#i dont knowwwwwww#like even though im a bit nervous abt doing it again i know that i would easily fall back into the routine of making drinks#which i was fairly good at. my one drawback is that i cant do latte art but i dont know that theyd really care here#and (because i found the menu of where id work) theres not a ton of drink options?? just the standard stuff#its being called a starbucks cafe but 1) its not managed by them and 2) it does not have their 5 billion drink options#so thats good. less to worry about#doesnt look like i even have to make anything foodwise which i had to at the cafe#here it looks like people can just buy a pastry and thats it#the hours are like. the same i work now. also good#sorry im like using this post to think through my thoughts.#uhhhh oh i looked up the manager who looks like a weenie so im not keen on the prospect of interviewing with him#but i probably would have thought that about my current manager if id seen a pic of him prior to interviewing. i guess???#and with these kind of catering units it seems you dont often deal directly with the manager that much anyway#i just gotta see if i get good vibes#rn i have unsure vibes. but i need a sign to see if this could be good for me#oh id also save money on transportation. and taxes! bc i wouldnt be working in ny anymore#lol oops tag limit. well i hope you enjoyed my job thoughts you probably didnt i know i didnt
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ialwaysknewyouwerepunk · 6 months ago
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yo9urt · 2 months ago
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falls down
#mine#today was day 2 of job and it seems like a really good deal...the benefits are CRAZY#depending on the healthcare plan i pick i could literally pay $0 a month as my premium#great day to be single with no kids <3#and the PTO is great and they have short term disability insurance which seems like a great option for when i get hysto#other benefits are all awesome and i know theres upward mobility which is really big for me#theres a part of me thats like...well...what if i did this job for a while...got my hysto next year...#saved up...got promoted...#then at some point move out...i was eyeing REDACTED CITY IN MY STATE#as a place to live especially post promotion (assuming i would get one) when i have more $$...#just a good way to sort of start my real adult life and all#but then i have an interview next week with a umm. i think it was a community college#over in another part of the state and then i got an email from a DIFFERENT cc#idk if we can interview because of schedule stuff we'll see. but that job pays GREAT money especially for my age#so im like ummm!!! hello...but i'm also not sure about the location...#i would definitely interview at least once just to get a feel for it#but im like arrrghhhh so much uncertainty...#raaaaggghhh#i've spent all summer saying i just want to skip ahead to the part where i have the job im sticking with#and everything is settled and nice#and it seems we're getting closer to that point but as we get closer i get more and more nervous#URRGH
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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year ago
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...
#ever sit like a corpse in your own body?#im doing a job i wasnt designed for. theres this funny thing we do in academia where we beg for money. write in consise phrasing why we#deserve funding. what it is about our project what it is about our personhood that makes us deserving. what we're doing in our present to#give back and ensure a better future. and i can pull together a description of a nervous kid who couldn't read but loved to learn anyway.#who didnt kno how to hold proper a conversation until college and so tried and got better at ppl. who wouldnt let a language problem get in#the way of information gain. who cares about making complicated info visually digestible. and that's a nice story. but it falls apart when#projected into the future. what r u doing for the future? im just trying to continue existing#dont u want to help other ppl like u? sure but i dont have anything nice to say to them. does it ever get easier? no. it probably never will#ur brain was not built for reading. sometimes things r just terrible and u have to accept that. develop a crippling mental disorder or do#something where u dont have to read. see. not helpful. bad attitude. im just too full of blood and broken glass. all my achievements r#stained red and it hurts to look at them. to get myself to function i have to squeeze so tight i can feel the strain in my head. and even#then its not enough. do u kno what its like to spend ur whole life building something only to watch it burn to ashes in front of u? just a#broken machine rotting away underground where no one will see it. but dont let things fester. speak up if somethings wrong. and say what?#lmao i wrote this last night and then today when my advisor was like: hows it going? do u feel like u have enough time to get everything#done? and i had the gall to be like *voice strained high to prevent crying* its alright i think ive got enough time. bc yea technically i#think there r enough hours in yhr day that if i really tried i could get it all done. but that doesn't count the time i spend laying with#thr absolute desolation of my mind. so no. there isnt enough time bc im not doing well. but there's nothing he can do abt it so ya kno#whats the point in talking abt it except to say ya sorry im such a wretched miserable person. i dont kno how to fix it. my enthusiasm is#hidden under layer upon layer of pain. i burnef out before even getting here and im only making it worse#but whatever ill see my therapist Tuesday#unrelated
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fellhellion · 1 year ago
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I have one (1) fear that btsv will reveal Miguel gets his spider powers from his T-shots.
Stabilisers for his spider dna/power was my original thought except I think Miguel took his shot right before throwing the bin at Miles so uh, doesn't seem very stabilising. And now my personal theory is that, given how they seemed to be "hugging" the cells, maybe Miguel spent too long LARPing as his alt self he became part of that universe. And now that that universe is gone he needed to give himself shots to stop from glitching out. Which, may not make sense since that's what the watch is supposed to do, but I think it'd be a neat parallel to Miles having cells from 42.
ehhhhh i don't think miguel exploding really swings the pendulum in either direction (in terms of what the shot actually does), at least in my conception of a dna stabaliser. your theory is a neat one though! it would be interesting if miguel was dealing with some longlasting sideeffects from dipping dimensions.
personally, i think given the visuals of the scene, the most likely answer is that it is to do with spider powers (very similar visual to miles's spider bite, the blue blood cells, the actual needle mimicking a spider bite in terms of the literal injection etc) but it's a toss up right now as to whether spiderverse's iteration of miguel is going to have him be irreversibly changed (and have that change be one out of his control like in the comics) or have it be a self inflicted transformation. the latter possibility of which im personally ehhh not a fan of. but again, at this moment just a possible direction and not a certainty.
#im hoping its not the latter because i just really like miguel's comic backstory yeah. but also because i think miguel being a self#inflicted spiderman just makes his dimension dipping and miles issues less??? interesting??? like if it's a self inflicted transformation#and miguel doesnt enjoy what he does but does it because has to. why not just stop being spiderman.#it also would make his thing @ miles just. honestly kind of boring hypocrisy instead of what i find the more interesting route#of miguel seeing a mirror of himself in miles (as well as a beacon of doubt) and not being able to handle it#i personally find THAT the more interesting story#but again. its all up in the air right now and we dont KNOW how this character is going to be conceptualised in btsv#there are certain creative liberties which - if taken - id personally find not v interesting but im not going to blast people for something#i have literally no information on. id rather evaluate the entirety of this iteration of miguel once i have the pieces atsv doesn't show#but invites speculation on (the backstory and the nature of his powers)#this isnt intended to be critical of you or anyone else i need to say. i totally understand being upset and nervous about the direction of#character you care deeply about. im just personally going to hold off on speaking about elements which i just dont have the evidence to#evaluate the nature of their integration in and effects upon the totality of miguel as a character within spiderverse#ask games#anon
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bugmistake · 1 year ago
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so transgender i could cry
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acrobattack · 8 months ago
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I'm excited but like also a little nervous to see the boys in the eventual reboot
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hmsmilkbone · 1 year ago
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I know we joke about jjk causing depression and discussing all the awful stuff that's going on and how low it makes us like it's funny, but if it's causing you emotional or mental distress, put it down. Just don't look at jjk stuff for a week. Limit your social media time.
All stories and series have the ability to interrupt your life and daily activities as you fixate on them, or the story unravels in an unfortunate way. It can be difficult to put a story down when you're really into it, even if it's only out of morbid curiosity for how the story will continue, but I'm very serious when I say you shouldn't let it ruin your life.
If you're friends with someone that posts constantly about your favorite character dying or constant angst and you notice it's affecting your mental health, take a break. It's not funny. I'm getting really concerned and frustrated with the way people are joking about suicide and depression when they read heavy stories like this. Those are real, legitimate, dangerous issues that you shouldn't joke about, and if you're experiencing those thoughts because of jjk or a series you're engaging (whether it's the story itself or the people you talk to about it), please try to manage your exposure to it and reach out for support.
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heyitslapis · 11 months ago
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vent
#haha now im fucking sobbing im my bathroom bc i was texting one of my only 2 friends (not including my ex) about how nervous i am#then i started in about how i actually dont really want to go out & meet people & go on dates but at the same time#im so extremely tired of being lonely/alone & having absolutely no one to consistently hang out with & im so starved for love & gentleness#and tbqh all i want rn is someone to hold me. i want someone to actively want me/pursue me. i want someone to choose me & care about me#it really fucking hurts & sucks being on everyones backburner. im such a loving person. i have such a big heart & so much love to give#ive always been like that. ive always loved people with my whole being. always been happy & happy to make others happy#ive always prioritized peoples happiness & comfort & well-being FAR above my own#ive always heard the universe gives back what it receives from you......so whens it my turn to be wanted fully & loved in an unwavering way#my love has always been give give give...... i just want to receive the affection. the devotion. the loving tasks. for once. please.....#im not even looking for my forever or for my life partner or w/e. i just want someone who's excited to see me & wants to be in my presence#someone who; even if only for 1 day or 1 week or even 1 month; chooses me. chooses to stay.#i think......im tired. im gonna go play fallout nv until i pass out from exhaustion. im tired#emma vents#vent tag#sad boi hours#sad bitch hours#2023 tag
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youssefguedira · 2 years ago
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idk i love breath of the wild w my whole heart and i am excited for tears of the kingdom but if its not The End of zelda (which i don't think it will be for the simple reason that zelda's a big money maker) i dont know how i feel about the idea that they want to move away from the formula entirely because i personally love the typical Zelda Formula™ and id be kinda disappointed if they just. decided to stop you know
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milkteamoon · 1 year ago
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You're right and you should say it
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Reading too much between the lines yet again, but someone I was talking to brought up this part from mag88 the other day and I have to wonder if maybe Martin knew Jon was ace way back in s2? Like much of fanon has Martin learning said fact from Melanie's comment in the mag106 recording, but there's something that sorta sweet to me about the idea that Martin could have known way before that and (more likely) from Jon himself.....
This would also definitely would support the fact that Jon and Martin had a pretty strong bond back in s2! Even with their limited interactions and with Jon's paranoia, we do know that they seemed to get along best out of all the archive members (with Jon and Tim at a standstill and Sasha being...all of that), that they were lunch buddies, and that Martin likely took Jon to get stitches after his encounter with Michael... Idk, it's just sorta nice to think about that Jon "never shares anything personal about himself with anyone" Sims maybe felt close enough to Martin despite everything to explain this very private, very personal bit about himself to him even way back then
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