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popculturebuffet · 4 years

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Ducktales: Terror of the Terra-Firmians! (Lena Retrospective) (Commission by WeirdKev27): Launchpad Looses his Last Brain Cell and I Loose My Patience

Welcome back Weblena Warriors to the second part of my look at everyone’s favorite Emo Teen Shadow Lesbian Duck... and probably the only one but hey, semantics, Shadow Into Light, which was made possible by viewers like you, the ultra humanite and a commission from WeirdKev27. Picking up where we left off, we have our first episode that has a different intended order than airing order.

As most of you probably remember, but some of you who joined later might not be aware of the broadcast order for the first half of season one is, in the academic sense, pretty fucked. It’s not Darkwing Duck’s entirely fucked by a web of badger spiders and a queen snake on top to make it some sort of train situation, but by just sorta airing whatever episodes they wanted to, Disney messed with the character balance so Huey got less focus, not that he got a ton of focus this season but still, as well as leaning into the episodes focusing more on the kids with less involvement from the adults which gave the wrong impression about the series. While it IS very focused on the triplets and webby, the show isn’t entirely about them, but as Frank has mentioned a few times, Disney Channel apparently has this WEIRD thing where they assume kids won’t like stories starring the adult characters.

Yeah I’ve been wanting to talk about this for a while. Mostly how it’s so dumb I could swear Pauly Shore was an exec at Disney Channel. And he might be I don’t know what he’s doing these days and i’d like to keep it that way. For starters, the Scooge comics, while barely published in the US these days, are still popular globally and have appealed to kids and adults for generations and are mostly focused on him, with the kids in a supporting role and Ducktales, you know the thing your directly remaking here, was also mostly about him with the triplets supporting, if a bit less than the comics. Most of the Disney Afternoon was about adult characters, with any kids in side roles in the main cast. And it comes off entirely hypocritical of them to say this when the MCU is easily marvel’s biggest cash cow at the moment, and marvel properties have appealed to both kids and adults, like the duck comics, for decades. And if it’s because the marvel cartoons weren’t doing well , I’ll let you in on a little secret: Those didn’t do well because they looked bland and from what I’ve seen of them felt kind of bland, though I haven’t seen enough to fully judge. Kids LIKE adult characters as much as kid characters, and also like teen characters despite not being teens. Focusing on either is valid and while I LIKED Disney’s youth starring shows I also want another X-Men cartoon before I turn 50, and I bet kids would like that too, with the last one only failing because you bailed on it because you were throwing a hissy fit over fox having the movie rights, and do not get me started on that. Point is this argument is horse shit and should stay in the stables.

So yeah I do think this episode came too soon and it’s placement effected it at the time and as such it dosen’t have the best rep with the fandom aside from the Lena bits and that includes me. The fact it was very early in the series and the characterizations hadn’t yet sunk in really hurt this episode in places but is it really that bad? Join me under the cut to find out

We open at the movies! Which scrooge apparently hasn’t been too since the 1930′s or seen any on video despite Della existing and being really stubborn.

A rant for another episode. But the kids just got out of a Mole Monster movie, along with Lena, Beakly and Launchpad. Their reactions are as follows: Lena, Webby and Dewey really enjoyed it, Huey found it unrealistic... says the boy whose uncle fought a dragon made of gold a month or two back but we’ll get to that, and Louie was bored and felt it didn’t have enough of the ultra violence, kids these days it’s not about the gore it’s about the tension. And Beakly.. is just pissed Lena tricked them into seeing this and said it was educational. And the more I think about it the more this sounds like BEAKLYS fault than Lena’s. BEAKLY is the one who likely bought the tickets, who saw it was likely an r or pg-13 and who as we’ve seen HAS A PHONE, and ulnike scrooge probably isn’t so stingy she wouldn’t spring for a smart phone, so she could’ve just googled it, or whatever bird related pun is in this version.. gandered it.. yeah let’s go with that, gandered it, and SEEEN it wasn’t appropriate or walked htem out of the theater and ate the cost if she was that bothered by it. Sitting through a Horror Movie you didn’t research, didn’t pull the kids out of and dind’t bother to even check the poster for or use basic common sense is YOUR fault. And this could’ve worked fine, had Lena talk the kids into begging for it or had launchpad take them and have Beakly find out after, having driven to pick them up as she didn’t trust launchpad to take them home. Instead it makes the former super spy look REALLY stupid and feels really out of character for a SPY to not to do research. And it wasn’t like they decided on this later, Bentina being a spy was part of the character’s backstory from day one and its made clear as early as episode 2 in both airing orders. This is just lazy writing to justify the episode and I expect better from this crew.

But an argument errupts between Huey and Webby over the Terra-Firmians, a hidden race of rock people living in Duckburg’s discontinued sewer system, allegedlys. So Lena suggest simply going down which gets a disapproving look from Beakly, despite you know this being their bread and butter, and the fact that if she had a problem with Scrooge not being involved.. she could just call him. Exploring fabled rock people is something he’d be into. I mean there’s a low profit margin but it also costs him almost nothing to walk to the theater or have launchpad swing around and pick him up. Just gas which given how much he pays for jet fuel isn’t a big ask. But Beakly soon gets distracted by Launchpad whose convinced the film is real and is attacking the poster a grim sign of things to come as while Beakly annoyed me in this one on rewatch, especially after realizing the above... Launchpad annoyed me both times and for VERY good reason we’ll get into. This provides a distraction and allows the trio to escape. Cue titles.

After the title sequence, our heroes head deeper underground, there’s too much panic in this town... I mean props to Donald for trying something new but he really needs to rethink his cologne choices. Sex Panther is just.. not a good smell on.. anyone.

So our heroes journey through the depths of the subway system, and we find out part of why Huey’s so skeptical, as he finds anything that isn’t in the Junior Woodchuck Guidebook to not exist, though the cracks in this already show as he’s added anything that does. We’ll get back to this later but as you can tell the basic dynamic for 24 minutes is Webby being a wholehearted True Believer and Huey being a Skeptical Sally. And Lena is just sorta “Eh gives me an excuse for shenanigans” about it. We also get a peak into webby’s mind as we see her notes .. which really just come off as Terra-Firmian fanfiction involving a war of succession between two sides, the terra’s and the firmies, something based on previous media, and also some doodles of a fictional candy called webby-dings and herself as a superhero, both things I want to see.

But yeah the first third of the episode is pretty simple, just them journeying, the occasional shift in the firmament, and it’s not bad, and there are a few great bits: Huey nerds out about rocks, and finds them way more interesting than a possible rock monster.

Which leads to the best gag of the episode as when Huey tries to pick up a big sample Webby, annoyed at his hyperfixation on the JWG, asks him to ask his book for help.. which he does by reading it and actually manages to pick the large rock up. This is halted though when Lena screams.. though she really just did it to draw them to an abandoned subway car full of glomgold posters for glomgold products because of course a failed subway project has his name plastered over it. You can’t spell glomgold without failure.. the failure is silent. Glomgold is not.

The fun is interuptted though by a livid Beakly who had realized they were missing in an earlier scene, after telling the Manager that McDuck Industries would pay for the poster.. and then found out Launchpad also destroyed the toilets “They come up thorugh the sewers!”. Launchpad that’s CHUDS, Ninja Turtles and Rats who raised Ninja Turtles like their own sons, mole people dig or use old mineshafts. It’s basic mole science. Also Beakly really shouldn’t sweat it, I just assumed the city has had a runnig bill witht he company for “McDuck Family and Employee Related Accidents, Mayhem and Shenanigans”. I mean he’s had Gyro on his payroll for at least a decade and a half by the series start, Gyro has leveled whole sections of city in an afternoon more than most giant monsters. Of which several have destroyed Duckburg. It got better.

Point is she’s livid about them sneaking off with Lena pointing out their some sort of adventure family and Beakly.. saying she won’t see them again, or at least implying it hard. I’ll put a pin in this, as the train buckles and a bit of seismic, or rock men, activity means their stuck. So they divide into teams: Beakly will go try and unhook the train car from the busted cars so they can ride out, Launchpad will go try and fix it, and we get this lovely exxchange as a result

Launchpad: Cool never crashed a train before Beakly: Can’t you try driving it without crashing it? Launchpad: Wha?

His face in that scene is priceless. He takes Dewey along. More on that in a second. Webby, Huey and Louie are told to stay put with Beakly only bringing Lena along because she dosen’t trust her. So since we have three split plots for a second... let’s split up gang, starting with the most aggrivating, middling with what you all came here for and why this is part of the retrsopective, and ending with the plot that directly heads into the final part of the episode.

Launchpad and Dewey: GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Okay starting with the most infamous plot and easily the worst part of this episode, probably the worst plot in any Ducktales 2017 episode. That’s not hyperbole it’s really that bad and really pissed people off, as fans of the original launchpad felt they made him overly stupid. This is where the airing order’s a problem as putting an episode with a subplot where one of your characters is obnoxiously dumb right up front means they assume this is his charcter and not just one poorly written chapter in a very dumb but very loveable characters life, likely because the writers hadn’t figured out how to properly scale his stupidity with comptience.

So as a result we get a good 3-4 mintutes if not agonizingly more of Launchpad assuming something he saw in a fucking movie film was real. That.. that’s his actual plot. Need I remind you, he’s in his late 20′s early 30′s. He’s not much older than me. While other episodes have him as dim this one claims he CAN’T TELL FACT FROM FICTION.

There are lines you have to keep with your characters to keep the audience from hating them. They crossed it about 80 times with this plot and make Launchpad into a gibbering dunderhead who can’t do anything right versus a regular dunderhead whose good at one or two things and loveable enough for us to like him and not care about his numerous safey violations and child endagerment charges. Thankfully this is the ONLY episode that gets this bad and they clearly learned from this, but it dosen’t make it any less of a tough sit.

Dewey spends most of the subplot with a look on his face that just screams that he’s as done with this bullshit as we are, as Launchpad assumes he’s a mole person and brought along a pipe to presumibly bludgeon him, because wanting to cave his best friends skull in over stupidity is a GREAT look> Thankfuly he does not. And when the lights come back on Launchpad.. assumes he’s a monster because of bright light, GAH, and locks him out before they end up outside and the plto resolves itself by Dewey pointing out by Launchpad’s utterly baffling logic that he could be a mole monster, so Launchpad.. assumes he is.

The subplot’s later buttoned up as he claims “I love being a mole monster”, again diffrent subteranian creature launchpad, she says he’s not and my suffering is thankfully at an end. This plot just sucks, it’s bad, overly stupid and dosen’t work with an adult character. Someone like say Ed from Ed, Edd N Eddy, or someone who belivies in weird conspiracy stuff like Dale Gribble or Stan Pines. with either of them this plot would’ve been fucking great. I could buy it from Dale and it just comes off as his normal paranoid weirdness. With Launchpad it comes off like he seriously needs help because the episode frames it as if he can’t tell ficton from reality, and his splotlight episode later would directly contridct this and make this episode even more aggrivating, as he’s a fan of Darkwing Duck, and KNOWS it’s acted out by an actor, so why wouldn’t he get this? It’s just....

It sucks, it sucks and I thankfully get to move on to a better subplot

Beakly and Lena: What You Are in the Dark

Beakly tells Lena she’ll never see Webby again after this.. then chastises her when she won’t help despite you know having just said she’s going to force their friendship apart, which Lena points out. She then gets mad at Lena making a sarcastic comment at her. Okay she’s lived with Louie for at least a week in airing order and a month or two in actual order. She has to be used to this by now. She’s insolent.. because you show her no respect, blame her for something that while sure she talked you into, you should’ve known better, and top it off by saying you want to keep her from the kids because they have bright futures and come from good familes and asks who rasied her and her face.. well.

Yeah wheras Launchpad and Huey, more on that in a second, were hurt by this being some of their earliest big roles, Bentina wasn’t.. until later when we found out just HOW bad Magica is to Lena and how much she dosen’t care about her other than as a tool to use. At this point we didn’t know just how much Lena was playing webby, how much she was only manipulating her, and even with her heroic act here we didn’t know if she only saw Webby as her way to break free. The next episode makes it clear she dosen’t and genuinely does care, 100%, so in hindsight it makes Bentina come off as ghoulsih for horribly asssuming about a girl she dosen’t know, and even if she did know about Magica wouldn’t know the full story, just like us, and then BERATING her after already saying she’s going to rip her away from Webby, which itself is PRETTY bad as she’s the only friend the girl has and sh’es doing so on... talking them into a horror movie, which as I outlined was more Bentina’s fault than Lena’s, and leading the kids into a dangerous place whicha gain, Lena pointed out is something she lets Scrooge do. And trust me i know that she actually knows Scrooge, and we later find out, as we’ll cover next month, that she isn’t ware HOW dangerous things are with Scrooge. It dosen’t change the fact she knows they do dangerous stuff to a point and that Lena may just be acting out. It also dosen’t change the fact she drove three children, yes including launchpad, down here with her instead of sending them home with Launchpad.. granted that option isn’t the safest but it’s safer than taking her with them thena cting like it’s ALL lena’s fault when three of the children, again including launchpad, are down there because of HER. Not Lena, HER. I’m harder on her because she’s older, wiser and was “raised properly” apparently. Though given the way she treats a random teen off the street she again knows nothing about and dind’t bother to ask... it begs the question.

IT’s a good question. I could see the classism coming from being raised in 40′s and 50′s britain, judging by the timeline.. but even then she’s seen the world, and while her nature is supscious, the classit bullshit makes no sense after presumibly working with, and later spymastering for, various agents of various backgrounds. How has she not dropped this in decades. Scrooge very clearly dropped the racisim and homophobia of his time, so it still stands on her for not dropping this. And Lena’s hurt shows under hte mask for the first time, that beneath the snark and secrecy.. is just an abused teenager with nowhere else to go and no way out being bullied by an older woman whose cutting off the only light at the end of the tunnel nto for good reason but out of classist, overprotective mallice. My issues, which to be fair probably were intentional in the episode but sitll are a bit overblown, aside we do get an absoluttley tremendous moment later as a car falls on top of Beakly.. and Magica, speaking once more urges Lena to leave her, let her die and let their plans progress. And while that iself is.. dumb, what if someone finds her or her corpse later, especially since Scrooge would likely perosnally want to retrive the body to give her a proper burial as she’s his only friend at this point, or the rest of the family questoin the story?, it fits Magica’s lack of foresight we see throughout the season. But Lena... saves her. While she later gives an explination, and a valid one at that, it’s clear from her expressoin, her actoins and how she does it... that this is her. Part of it is defiance, as she glares at Magica before doing it, her own stubborn nature mixed with her hatred of her “aunt”, meaning Magica just made it all too easy for her to do this. But the real reason is clear: It’s the right thing to do. While pissing off her aunt and getting away with it is the cherry on top.. the real reason is that unlike Magica.. Lena is not a killer, not a monster, and not a heartless vacum ofa person. Even if she doesn’t like Beakly, for good reason.. she can’t, she WON’T leave her to die and leave Webby an orphan again. She loves Webby too much to do that to her and while she may deny it.. she’s too good a person to leave someone to die for something so petty. Even if she never sees webby again and the plans ruined. It’s better than the weight of knowing she let someone who wasn’t trying to harm her and whose actions, while terrible, were out of misguided protection of her granddaughter, die like this. She saves her. And as we’ll see it pays off.. but before that.

Huey, Webby and Louie: Into the Unknown This plot’s a bit shorter, as Webby and Huey continue their argument, with Louie eventually making it clear, and not even hiding it when directly asked by Huey, that he’s playing both sides with a delighted expression on his face as the movie was boring but this, this is interesting. Which it is. But it’s interupted by dings on the roof and while Huey assumes i’ts just a regular rock, it moves while their not lookiung.. and soon red eyed, horrifying beasts look out at them and the kids flee back to the car. This dosen’t pan out as the car starts to shake and is clearly going to collapse.. and while Webby and Louie are prepared to flee, rock monsters or no, Huey, in an utterly heart shattering image.. stays in place, terrified of moving.

This is where this plot goes from mildly aggrivating, as Huey’s Skeptic shenanigans can get on the nerves.. to BRILLIANT. See at the time this was more annoying because it was assumed the skepticsim would be a part of Huey’s character and we’d get more episodes of him being annoying only to be proven wrong, as he semeingly dosen’t learn his lesson at this point, looging the terrafrimians in the guide book. But on rewatch.. this plot is amazing. For starters the plot subtly introduced the defening characteristic of Huey’s personality, one that’s become more prounounced in Season 3: His need for Order. He needs things to make sense: He solves stuff because he likes there to be order in the world and something he can understand, he can put in a box in his head. Like a lot of neurotypical people, myself included, he struggles horribly when the clearly defined boxes of his life and things he undestand have wrinkles or complexities he can’t get. I for instnace easily got it when I was introduced to the concept of trans people or being non binary.. they just make sense in hindsight: given how our brains are messya nd complicated it makes sense some people would be born in the wrong ones, and tht with all the science and medicine we have to correct that, should be allowed to transition if they so choose. It makes equal sense that some people just don’t have a gender or are gender fluid, being both or neither. Despite struggling with non binary prounouns due to force of habit.. I get the concept with no real difficulty. But when it comes to accepting I don’t have to apologize for everything and that everyone is not angry or that anger is natural and people sometimes get mad and you can’t and shouldnt’ fix it.. it’s something I STRUGGLE with even knowing it’s not right, because my brain is just wired that way.

That’s how Huey’s struggle comes off here.. he reveals he’s willing to stay and die.. because he’s SO scared of the unknown, that the idea of dying from something he at least knows what it is versus something he dosen’t.., so paralizyed by his own brain he can’t figure out the obvious.. it takes Webby reaching out to him figuratively and literally, to show him that sometimes you have to face the unknown. The unknown is fucking terrifying.. but it can be good and it’s better than sitting there, scared and unable to move. You have to try, to grow and take that risk that things may not go well to really LIVE.

So he does.. and they reunite with the rest of the group.. and soon find the terrafirmains.. who as it turns out once we get some light on them... are actually just goofy looking, brightly colored, each one matching one of the kids, kids themselves, and Huey reaches out and touches one, which by ET logic means their friends now, and the terrafirmians help them get out. And this lesson sticks. While sure Huey catalogues it and it seems it didn’t.. he’s never this skeptical again. This douchey skepticsim was only for one episode, his fear of the uknown replcaed with boundless curosity and from here on he’s CURIOUS about new stuff as long as it’s not trying to kill him. He loves taking in new experinces, maybe not to webby levels but he does actually try them and study them instead of just fearing them.

Before we wrap things up, obviously we need to talk about the JWG not having entries on a lot of stuff. This would be corrected next season as it returns to being a big book of everything, but dosen’t completely contridct this as Timephoon! shows there’s stillcgaps.. which i’m fine with. While it knowing EVERYTHING was fine for the original series here, with things being slightly more groudned, it’d just be an obvious plothole if Huey didn’t use it every single time they ran into something and that’d get boring. Instead it’s simply that it dosen’t know everything, and really in the comics at times it didn’t and the triplets found out new things. It knew almost everything mind you, but having some gaps for dramatic tnesion is fine with me and Seasons 2 and 3 decided on that instead of just having it being a scouting manual which wa sfor the best. And even by later in the season hit has guides to getting a small buisness loan, so they already course corrected.

So everything’s wrapped up and while Magica berates Lena for disobeying her.. Beakly interputps, thankfully not seeing magica and admits she was wrong and invites Lena for pancakes, even taking a crack about if their actually pancakes or english muffins with syrup, which sounds like my own living hell, in stride, having clearly grown. And Lena explains to Magica that this was the better approach: now she’s got the in theyw anted, and is above suspcison for now. Still not so much that an obvious act won’t be detected but enough that she dosen’t ahve to work actively around her anymore. Magica scoffs.. and while part of it is probably rage.. part of it is deep down both of them know she did it out of defiance.. and only Lena knows that she did it for the right reasons... she just dosen’t get why. She probably justifies it as playing the long game.. but deep down she knows something’s changing about her.. and she’s not sure if that’s a godo thing or not.

Final Thoughts: This episode is as you can tell a mixed bag. It’s 2/3 of a good episode, with the Lena plot, my issues aside, being excellent and the Terra-Firmian plot likewise fun, even if Huey can get grating the payoff is worth it, and the jokes are really high quality. It’s just bogged down by that fucking launchpad plot that just crushed my soul in it’s palms every time it came back. I went on at length why i hated that one but boy oh boy was the hate of that subplot warranted and I stand by calling it the worst plot of the series. It is: it’s not funny, it makes no goddamn sense, and it drags down what’s otherwise a pretty solid epsiode.

Next Time on Lena: Jaws the shark, lurking in the dark, in the depths of the bin one day of a lark decides to get rowdy, get real violent takes a vacay out to Duckburg er.. Island.. also Scrooge faces his greatest Nemesis.. a PR Tour to clean up his image after an unfortunate giant Beanstalk Incident. Be there and be hip to be square.

Next Time on This Blog: I Tackle a DCOM for the first time for another commissioned review as we take a look at racisim, specifically Apartheid and breaking indoctrination, with The Color of Friendship. See you next Rainbow.

#ducktales #ducktales 2017 #lena sabrewing #webby vanderquack #weblena #bentina beakly #launchpad mcquack #huey duck #louie duck #dewey duck #terror of the terra-firmians!#disney channel #disney xd #disney plus #disney #disney ducks #comissions

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spencersstrawberryjello · 3 years

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Inside Scoop (Chapter One)

Chapter One - The Greatest Regret of my Life

Previous Chapter < - > Next Chapter

Chapter Summary: Dahlia Silvers is on her way to work when she makes a horrifying discovery that will change her life... and lead to her getting tangled up with the Behavioral Analysis Unit.

Chapter Warnings: Swearing, descriptions of corpse (violent death), police interactions (please let me know if I missed anything)

Word Count: 2417

A/N: Yay new story!! Ok, two quick things I need to mention before we get into it: one, I have absolutely no clue about the roads in DC and I merely listed two ones that I knew were on a corner. And two: I also have no clue where the Washington Post office is, and am not trying to make any claims about the company in any way, it’s just a reputable news place in DC so I wanted to use it for the story (please don’t sue me Jeff Bezos). Ok that’s all - hope you enjoy!! :)

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It was raining.

I knew we were supposed to get a short shower this morning, but I still groaned as I walked out into the disgusting downpour bombarding the streets of DC.

The only positive thing about days like this was the lack of people on the sidewalk. Generally everyone was dashing to the subway before they could get too soaked, but I only lived a few blocks from work. So I elected to walk.

Usually, that was fine. I had my umbrella, and I got into the office in about fifteen minutes, give or take a few. After that I got my writing assignments for that day within ten, and I got to work.

Usually.

The smell hit me first. Initially, I thought it was just rotten fruit, or something similar that someone had thrown out, but the closer I got the more it smelled rancid, impossible to describe.

The next thing I noticed was the bag.

The woman’s purse had been thrown from her hand. Or maybe it had fallen, I had no way of knowing. All I knew was that I saw it sitting on the sidewalk at the mouth of the alleyway I was about to walk past.

One of the greatest regrets of my life was picking up that purse.

Because when I picked it up, I had to turn and see who it belonged to. And that’s when I saw her.

I wasn’t sure how long the blood had been pooled around her body, but it was dried on the concrete. Her head was twisted at an unnatural angle, revealing the deep slash wound across her throat. Her hands were bloodied, and I had no way of knowing if it was her blood or someone else’s. All I knew was that this woman was dead, and there was no way in hell it was due to natural causes.

The combination of the sight in front of me and the smell of decay permeating the air sent a wave of nausea through my body, and my eyes watered as I turned away, vomiting on the sidewalk not far from where the woman laid. I fumbled to pull my phone out of my pocket, my hands shaking as I dialed 911.

“911 what’s your emergency?”

“Someone’s dead. It’s a woman, she - I was on my way to work, and I just found her - holy shit…”

“Ok ma’am, I’m going to need you to calm down please, everything will be ok. Can you tell us where you are right now?”

“Yeah, yes,” I forced myself to breathe, stepping out to the edge of the sidewalk in an attempt to read the street sign in front of me. “Right by the corner of 9th and G Street NW. There’s an alley a few feet away from the intersection. She’s…” I turned back to the woman’s body for a moment before forcing my eyes away again. “I don’t know what happened. It looks bad, I -”

“It’s ok ma’am. What is your name?”

“Dahlia. Dahlia Silvers.”

“Ok Dahlia. Is there anyone else with you? Or around you?”

I scanned my surroundings before responding shakily, “No.”

“Is the woman alive?”

“No.” I don’t know of anybody who could survive their throat being slashed.

“Ok. A team is on their way, but I need you to stay calm for me, ok?”

I nodded, despite the fact that she couldn’t see me. “Alright.”

“Good. Can you stay on the scene so that investigators can speak with you when they arrive?”

My first thought was that I was going to be late for work. It’s actually kind of funny, in retrospect, how unimportant that is compared to the discovery I just made. But the thought was still there.

“I think this would be a valid reason to call in sick.” I replied. The woman on the other end of the phone laughed lightly.

“Yes, I think it would. Would you like me to stay on the phone with you until the team arrives?”

“No, I’m just… I’m going to walk away a bit? Is that ok? I can’t… I mean, I’ve seen pictures and videos of stuff like this, but I didn’t think it would be so -”

“As long as you’re nearby, everything should be fine. It’s understandable that you would need to move away from the body.”

“Ok. Ok,” I took in another deep breath, “I’m ok.”

“A team should be there in a couple of minutes.”

The line went dead, and I sunk down against the wall of the building by the alley, far enough away that the smell of death couldn’t follow me. I felt like it was in my clothes, in my hair; for a second I thought I was going to throw up again, and I put my head in my hands, forcing myself to breathe until the investigators arrived on the scene. I had half a mind to realize that it wasn’t raining anymore, but I couldn’t be bothered to figure out where I’d dropped my umbrella. My clothes were sticking to my skin, and everything on my body felt viscerally wrong.

It wasn’t like I hadn’t seen images of dead people before; I was a young adult, and I liked movies. Obviously I was used to gore. But the stench… nothing could’ve prepared me for that.

I was surprised at the sheer number of people that showed up: I mean, there was a CSI van, which I expected, but a black car pulled up behind them, as well as two city police cars. Immediately, the CSI team got to work, and the rest of the people began piling out of their cars. The first person to take notice of me was one of the police officers, and he immediately made a beeline for where I was sitting on the sidewalk.

“Are you Dahlia Silvers? The woman who called in the body?” He asked. I nodded, and he held out his hand to me, helping me up on unsteady feet.

“Thank you.”

“‘Course. Now, I’d like to ask you a few questions if that’s ok?”

I nodded again, and he began a surprisingly long tirade of questions. Why was I passing by, where was I going, did I walk this street every day, what did I see first, did I touch anything on the scene, did I know the woman, had I seen anyone else - everything I should’ve expected but didn’t even think about in the wake of everything I’d just witnessed.

I answered accordingly: work, work, yes, the purse, the purse, no, no - I mentioned that the vomit was mine, and that I’d picked the purse up with the intent to return it to whoever dropped it. I mentioned that the first thing I picked up on was the smell, and that I had no idea what happened. Only that my day was perfectly normal, and then -

“Excuse me, officer?” A new voice cut into our conversation, a woman. I turned to look at her, noticing the FBI logo on her jacket immediately. “I’d like to speak with Ms. Silvers for a moment, if you don’t mind?”

“Of course Agent,” He nodded, rejoining the larger group that we were standing a bit away from. I knew he was still watching me, but I couldn’t be bothered to worry about my status on this case’s suspect list right now. I was still trying to process the fact that there was a fucking dead body about five feet away from me.

“Dahlia Silvers?” She asked, as if she didn’t already know. I nodded, and she smiled, introducing herself as well.

“I’m Special Agent Prentiss, I’m with the FBI’s Behavioral Analysis Unit.”

Immediately my brow furrowed with confusion. “What are you guys doing here?”

“Well, we study -”

“No, I’m sorry, I should’ve been clearer: I know what the BAU does. What is the BAU doing here, in DC?”

“We’re investigating a string of recent murders, and we believe that this one is most likely connected to the case.”

“... If there have been enough murders here that your team needed to come down, why aren’t any of the news stations covering it? I haven’t heard anything about this.”

“We’ve put a block on most of the press until we can gain a better understanding of the situation. I understand why you might feel betrayed by the media -”

“It’s not like that at all,” I rushed to correct her, not realizing I’d cut her off again, “I’m a journalist. I work for The Washington Post. Our office is like three blocks away, that’s where I was headed when - when I saw her.”

The woman nodded, a sympathetic expression on her face. “I’m sorry that you had to see all of this.”

“Thank you,” I gave her a small smile. I did appreciate it, but honestly, I’d recovered from the sight pretty quickly. I’d started working in crime journalism recently, and that came with it’s fair share of gruesome images and stories of tragedy flooding my computer. Hence the reason why my lack of knowledge on these murders was a concern. “I’m just confused as to why I didn’t hear about the murders, while working for a news site. It would make sense for a few stories to slip through, or for our CEO to announce something to us writers - how the hell did you manage a full media block?”

She laughed a bit at my bluntness, but said, “We got here very shortly after the first murder. We were able to restrict almost all stories about the event immediately.”

“Almost all? No, you guys got all of them - I have a keyword filter set up on Google to email me whenever a seemingly newsworthy event happens in the surrounding area, and I feel like ‘local murder’ would definitely count as newsworthy.”

“That’s… surprising, but it makes sense. Never underestimate the power of Jennifer Jareau - that’s our press liaison, she handles -”

“Oh yeah, I know her! I’ve spoken with her a few times when you guys have had cases in DC.”

“Right! Yeah, she’s great…” She got a sort of far-off look in her eye for a moment before she cleared her throat, “But that’s not what I’m here to talk to you about. I know that you spoke with the local police already, but I was wondering if you’d be willing to return to the station with us so we could interview you a bit further - you’re not under arrest, you’d be free to go at any time, we just have a couple more questions.”

I was hesitant, but at the same time, there was an itch in the back of my mind. An itch to know more. If this was a chance for me to find out what’s been going on, no way in hell I’m saying no to that.

Plus, if I did say no, that would be incredibly suspicious.

So I nodded, allowing Agent Prentiss to lead me back to the black vehicle that arrived with the slew of police cars. She opened the passenger door for me before shouting to someone who I’m assuming was one of her coworkers.

“Reid! Stay here and investigate the scene - I’m going to escort Ms. Silvers back to the station, and I’ll be back to pick you up.”

I heard a faint response before she shut the passenger door, climbing around to the other side and allowing me a glimpse of whoever she was talking to.

He was standing on the pavement, still looking at the car, nodding as I’m assuming Agent Prentiss said something else to him. The blue sweater he had on over his button up presented an interesting contrast between the pantsuit I’d seen Prentiss wearing, and the ridiculous query of the nature of the BAU’s uniforms crossed my mind before I turned my attention back to the matter at hand.

The matter at hand being, of course, discreetly staring at the man in front of me.

His curly hair rested almost at his shoulders, and I was mesmerized as I watched him speak, one hand flying and the other holding onto a thin wooden cane. Finally, he nodded definitively before turning back to the crime scene, and my eyes snapped to the driver’s side door as I heard Agent Prentiss slide into the seat next to me.

“Oh please, don’t let me interrupt your staring at Dr. Reid,” She held up her hands in mock defense, trying to keep herself from laughing, “I’m merely the driver.”

“Sta - what, I wasn’t staring, I -” I immediately started to defend myself (even if I totally was staring at Dr. Reid), but Agent Prentiss laughed again.

“Relax, Ms. Silvers. I’m only teasing. He is quite a good-looking man, isn’t he? Not my type, but I’m not blind.”

I blushed, acknowledging her statement with a nod as she put the car in drive, pulling away from the curb. As we started down the road, the full weight of the events that just occurred finally hit me.

I found a corpse.

I was on my way to a police station.

I might be the main suspect in an ongoing murder case. I hadn’t actually asked about that yet.

It was almost as if Prentiss had noticed the shift in my mood - honestly, there’s a chance she actually had, she was a profiler - because she broke the silence with a question.

“Ms. Silvers? How are you feeling?” She asked. I just shook my head.

“Please, call me Dahlia. And honestly, I have no idea how I’m feeling. I… well, I’m sure I don’t need to say that nothing like this has ever happened to me before.”

“I’d be surprised to hear you say it had,” She laughed. I laughed a bit too, though I couldn’t ignore the anxiety eating at me.

“I’m pretty sure I haven’t processed it yet,” I said honestly.

“You’ve gone through a lot in the last hour,” She agreed, “And I hate to say it, but you’re going to have to go through a little bit more. We’re here.”

We pulled into the police station, and she put the car in park, hoping out. I followed suit, and we both headed up the walkway to the front doors.

I was practically trembling with nerves, but at the same time, excitement coursed through my veins at what I might learn.

The BAU might’ve put a blockade on the media from the outside, but I was getting the inside scoop.

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laulink · 4 years

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A.N. : Alright, so since the graduation party is now done in the anime as well and it’s not a spoiler anymore for anyone who’s up to date with at least one of the three medias, I decided to do Maria justice and give her what all her friends decided she wasn’t allowed to have : time to explain her words to Katarina (and time for Katarina to digest them and react upon them). @the-woundupbird and @i-hate-liking-batman, as promised !

The sun was slowly descending toward the horizon, colouring the sky in shades of pink, violet and blue, while Katarina Claes and her friend, Maria Campbell, walked around the school grounds, looking for familiar faces and enjoying the food. The graduation party had been beautiful, as expected of an event organised by the Student Council, and Nicol had been delighted by his vegetable bouquet, as Katarina had predicted… or at least she assumed he had been delighted. His expressions were still quite hard to read. Still, she felt proud of herself : she really had a great idea with that one !

Her train of thoughts was interrupted by Maria asking her a question :

“How did you like the party, Lady Katarina ?

- It was wonderful ! So many tasty sweets~ Oh, and the flower bouquets on the tables were really pretty too !

- You should tell Lady Mary then,” giggled Maria, “she was the one who provided the flowers and made the bouquets. I am sure she would be delighted to hear your praise !

- I’ll make sure to tell her then !”

The two girls kept walking as they chatted about the ceremony, Nicol and Giordo’s speeches, the food, the presents Nicol received… After a while, Katarina noticed that the sky was turning dark as the sun disappeared behind the mountains on the horizon and that they had drifted away from the party to a rather secluded part of the school grounds. Remembering why she had spent the entire day glued to Maria’s side, Katarina started to panic.

“Wait a minute, that’s not good ! By that time, Maria should have been approached by one of the capture targets who would confess his undying love to her ! What’s going on ? Why is no one here beside the two of us ?”

Before the panic could really sink in, Katarina took a deep breath and decided to ask Maria directly who’s route she had pursued over the course of the year… but maybe not in those terms.

Turning toward her friend, Katarina grabbed her hands, the sudden movement prompting Maria to look up at her in surprise.

“Maria, I meant to ask… Is there anyone you like right now ?

- Huh ? … Well, I adore you, Lady Katarina !”

As usual, huh… But this time, Katarina wouldn’t stop there ! She needed an actual answer, now !

“While I’m happy to hear that, that’s not what I meant… Do you have someone you’re interested in ? A boy that you’d want to go out with ?

- Someone I’m interested in and want to go out with ? A boy… ? No, there isn’t one !” Maria answered with a cheerful smile.

Meanwhile, Katarina was lost for words.

“Huh ? No one ? What does that mean ?”

“I’m not interested in any boy. For me, there’s only one person I’m interested in and admire from the bottom of my heart. The person who’s side I never want to leave… It’s you, Lady Katarina. So…”

Maria moved her hands around Katarina’s to hold them between her own, then lifted her gaze up to meet Katarina’s, trying to convey all her love for the girl through her eyes as well as her words.

“Please let me stay by your side forever, Lady Katarina.”

Katarina was speechless. She hadn’t anticipated Maria to tell her such passionate words and didn’t know how to react. At the same time, something about this declaration felt familiar…

“Oh, that’s right ! This is the line the heroine is supposed to say to her chosen capture target at the end of the game ! But why is she saying it to me ?! What’s going on ?!”

Thinking she might have just misunderstood, Katarina tentatively asked :

“Uh, Maria… What do you mean by that, exactly ?”

Maria blushed. Her pink lips parted as her gaze somehow turned even more tender. Katarina suddenly found it hard to breathe.

“I mean that I’m in love with you, Lady Katarina.”

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Katarina’s brain was a mess, almost all of the small versions of her running around screaming while an alarm was blaring. The chairwoman lifted her hammer high over her head and slammed it down on the table, once, making the others stop running, twice, cutting off their screaming, then a third time as the alarm quieted down, plunging the mental space in an eerie, uncomfortable silence.

“Everyone,” said the chairwoman with a calm voice, “losing ourselves to panic will not help us make sense of this situation. We need to stay calm and examine the evidence laid before us to understand what has led us to this development.”

Studious Katarina nodded and went back to her seat.

“You are right, Chairwoman. We need to consider this situation carefully. Maria confessing to Katarina is not something that could have happened in the game, not only because they were enemies but also because Katarina had been killed or exiled already at this point.

- But Katarina isn’t a villainess this time.” Fearless Katarina reminded them. “We aren’t even a rival since we made sure to stay out of Maria’s way to Giordo’s heart. So if we’re neither a villainess nor a rival, did that make us automatically become a capture target ?

- It seems that is how Maria views us at least, or she wouldn’t have fallen in love and confessed.

- I can’t believe Maria has fallen in love with us.” Spineless Katarina murmured, cheeks blazing red. “She’s so amazing, and cute, and kind, and hardworking, and honest, and sweet, and funny… She’s just the perfect girl !”

All the Katarinas nodded, blushing a little as they remembered everything good about Maria.

“It is true that Maria is quite the amazing and alluring girl,” agreed the Chairwoman, “no one can say otherwise. Being the target of her affections is certainly not a bad thing.

- Thinking back on all the time we spent with Maria… It makes me want to ask her to be our wife !” exclaimed Fearless Katarina, rising from her seat in her excitement.

- Thinking back on all this time, huh…” Studious Katarina took a moment to gather her thoughts. “Now that I think about it, we did steal a couple of romance events from Giordo and Keith, didn’t we ? The first big ones on top of that. And we are clearly the one who spent the most time with Maria compared to the other capture targets. According to the game’s rules, it was obvious, in retrospect, that she would fall in love with us. But what about us ? Are we in love with Maria ?”

All the Katarinas paused what they were doing and took a moment to consider the question.

“It’s a hard question.” said the Chairwoman, a frown on her face. “Maria is certainly an amazing girl, but since we have only ever viewed her as a friend, suddenly trying to change our point of view is a bit difficult.

- Still, I think we are in love with her.” Happy Katarina said, looking unusually solemn. “When I try to think about life without Maria, it hurts in my chest and the resulting life feels hollow.

- You’re right,” Fearless Katarina nodded, “I remember when Maria was kidnapped by Raphael… Those three days where we didn’t know what happened to her, if she were still alive… It was awful. The idea of seeing her get hurt now…”

All Katarinas shivered at the thought.

“But is that romantic love ?” asked Studious Katarina. “No one wants to see their friends get hurt after all. We cried when we dreamed of our friends being killed by Raphael. Are our feelings for Maria really that different from the ones we harbour for our other friends ?

- I… think they are.” This time it was Spineless Katarina who voiced her thoughts. “I don’t want any of our friends to get hurt, but it’s only when I think of Maria that I feel the need to hold her tight and never let anything happen to her.

- I have a similar feeling.” said the Chairwoman. “And I have a proposition to make, to really ascertain our feelings for Maria. I think you all know what I am talking about ?”

All the Katarinas nodded solemnly.

“Then, all in favour of confirming our feelings for Maria through this mean ?”

Everyone voted “yes”.

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Katarina blinked, coming back to her senses. Maria was still in front of her, holding her hands, but now looked worried.

“Lady Katarina ? Do you hear me ?

- Maria… Yes, I hear you. Sorry, I was lost in thought.”

Maria sighed in relief, then offered Katarina a little smile.

“I am relieved. I was starting to get worried, since your trances don’t usually last this long.”

Katarina scratched her cheek and let out a nervous giggle.

“Yes, well… It’s not every day I am confessed to. I really didn’t see it coming.”

Maria chuckles.

“I thought as much. So it’s ok if you don’t want to give me your answer right away. I’ll wait as long as you need.”

Maria’s sweet smile made Katarina’s heart clench. She wanted to take her in her arms. To hold her close and never let go. She wouldn’t feel that way if she only saw Maria as a friend, right ? But to be sure…

“Actually, Maria… I think I know the answer I want to give you, but I want to confirm my own feelings first. So please, forgive me for being selfish.

- Selfish ? What do-”

Before Maria could finish her sentence, Katarina snuck an arm around her waist to bring her closer, the fingers of her free hand tangling in blonde locks as she brought her lips to Maria’s in a chaste and a bit sloppy kiss.

And it clicked.

Suddenly all felt right in the world and Katarina felt as though her heart just got bigger, fuller, ready to envelop Maria in her embrace and never let her go. She tightened her hold on Maria and deepened the kiss, desperate to feel the other girl as close to her as she could be.

After a second of confusion, Maria cupped Katarina’s face in her hands and kissed her back, a low hum of contentment escaping her as Katarina deepened the kiss. Soon after, her hands moved, one to Katarina’s shoulder, holding onto it as though she needed it to stay upright, the other to the back of Katarina’s head, caressing a sensitive spot at the base of her neck that made her moan in Maria’s mouth. Their kiss only grew hotter and more desperate, the two girls holding each other as though their lives depended on it. They only separated when the lack of air made them feel lightheaded, but even then they didn’t break their embrace, instead resting their foreheads against each other’s, gazing lovingly into the other’s eyes. After a couple of seconds, Maria had regained enough of her breath to ask :

“So… I take it that’s a “I love you too” ?”

Katarina couldn’t help but laugh breathlessly at that, love and happiness too large to contain. She buried her face in Maria’s neck, too overwhelmed to use her voice yet, but unable to resist the urge to lay feather-light kisses on the soft skin beneath her lips… then, hearing Maria let out a sigh of pleasure, laid a few more to draw out another which soon turned into a moan when Katarina found a more sensitive spot. Something in Katarina awoke at that, something she didn’t even know existed, and she started sucking and nibling on the soft flesh, then soothing it with gentle kisses and licks before starting all over again. She could feel Maria tremble against her, hear her moans, her breath coming out shorter and shorter… Then it was her name that Maria was moaning in her ear and Katarina almost lost herself in the sudden wave of desire that engulfed her in that moment. She was saved by Maria’s gentle hands bringing her face back in front of her own and away from her neck. A chaste kiss on her lips anchored her back into reality and she smiled sheepishly under Maria’s tender, amused gaze.

“Sorry, I got carried away.

- I can’t say I disliked it. But we should probably avoid that while we are in the school’s gardens.”

Katarina blushed as she realised they were still out in the open.

“Right, anyone could have seen that… Mother would kill me if she heard rumours of me passionately making out with one of my classmates.”

Maria gently extracted herself from Katarina’s embrace before taking one of her hands and leading her back toward the school’s building.

“The party must almost be over by now, so we should get back inside anyway.”

Katarina nodded absentmindedly, thoughts still filled by what she just experienced. But she had the feeling she was forgetting something… Thinking back on what happened, she realised what it was and stopped Maria in her tracks.

“Huh ?” Maria turned toward her, surprised. “Lady Katarina, is something wrong ?

- I got so carried away I ended up forgetting maybe the most important thing.”

Maria stared, confused, as Katarina stepped closer and hugged her around the waist, bringing the two girls chest to chest again. Then, with a sweet smile and gentle voice, Katarina finally gave her answer :

“I love you too, Maria.”

A.N. : taking the opportunity to say that I’ll post everything I’ve written so far as a compilation of short stories on AO3. My pseudo there is also Laulink in case you want to check it out and follow the collection to be alerted next time I post something.

If I write short stories in the form of series of dialogues, like the “Like Mother like Daughter” one, I’ll post it on tumblr, but the more novel-like stories, like this one, will be put only on AO3 and I’ll just post a link here on tumblr.

Also I might write a couple more short stories for this series and Beware of the Villainess, but once that’s done, I’ll start working on a multi-chapters AU that’s basically a mix of Hamefura and I favour the Villainess, where Maria is the one who has memories of her past life in our world instead of Katarina and she decides to save the villainess from her doom. I don’t know when I’ll post it yet, but stay tuned !

#my next life as a villainess #katarina claes #maria campbell #sweet villainess #katamaria #katarina x maria #marikata (apparently that's the japanese shipname)#my post #my writing

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sepublic · 4 years

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Sorry about the double ask so here's a fun idea, Emperor Belos wrote The Good Witch Azura books. Like he wrote them in his younger years before becoming a parasitic tyrant. - Pixel Anon

That seems like it’d be the perfect opportunity to segue into a lesson about Death of the Author, which- Given Sense and Insensitivity, and how this show already discusses how fiction affects reality and connects with it… Would be VERY refreshing to see, especially as a moral that I don’t really see other kids’ shows exploring! I do recall OK KO bringing it up with the Hero Cards not representing Kappas, but the more the merrier. It’d also be fitting to discuss Death of the Author, and separating a work from a terrible creator- Given the show’s frequent references to Harry Potter, which has a rather infamous author…

For neurodivergent kids who really get into hyperfixations and fandoms, which Luz and Amity basically are- It’d be fascinating to see them navigate this kind of twisted revelation! And it’d also force them to really re-examine The Good Witch Azura, because sometimes a work can’tbe separated from the harmful ideas of its creator, especially if it was made to transmit them… If Azura ever talks about dealing with ‘savages’, that’d be VERY sus and make matters a lot more complex. But then again, Azura also reconciles with Hecate, so it could be a matter of recognizing a work’s more problematic areas and criticizing them, while still enjoying it.

And, this makes sense, as The Owl House really does convey that experience of engaging with media and fiction, and how it relates to real life… And how media and fiction CAN mean a lot to people, it’s perfectly valid for one’s hyperfixations to mean the world to them! It’s treated as objectively terrible for Luz to throw away her Azura book, and bar a few social misunderstandings, the Azura books have otherwise brought nothing but happiness for her and Amity, and even functioned as something for them to bond over!

It’s perfectly okay for fiction to mean a lot to Luz, and she’s not being childish for wanting to hold on, to keep enjoying it- So it’d be an interesting discussion when Belos’ authorship is thrown into the mix, amidst potential problematic bits here or there. Then again, Luz is an ND-coded kid who continues to find solace in these stories, which would suggest that there isn’t anything there that would bother her- At least, nothing she’d have really noticed until someone pointed it out to her.

Then there’s the appropriateness, of Belos’ own fantasy being what could’ve led to Luz being deluded in her own right, projecting fantasies and dreams onto reality, wanting to be a chosen one… It’d be an extension of the kind of harmful delusions and ideas he puts into others, tying it back all the way of Luz herself, prior to arriving on the Boiling Isles! It’d give us insight to Belos as someone who really gets people to believe in the idea of being special, of being chosen, specifically for the Emperor’s Coven… And how this could relate to HIS character, if he himself is also a victim of these kinds of issues. If Belos is Luz, in that she never learned to differentiate fantasy from reality, and felt entitled towards bringing her stories to life.

Perhaps Belos isn’t REALLY chosen by the Titan, he just likes to think of himself as a Chosen One- Or he was, but others can also quality for this honor, which is something that aggravates Belos because it alludes to him not being more special than others. Because to Belos, it’s not enough to be unique and valid in your own way; You must be actively better than others, and the creation of the Emperor’s Coven above all reflects this. The belief that magic is a privilege, a luxury, something you must actively earn or be more worthy of than others for…

It’s also an interesting contrast, as if Belos has also been influenced by his works, or his works are a reflection of that- Then it’d set him apart from Luz as someone who actively deludes himself. As someone who is voluntarily blind, and willfully ignorant- Just like Lilith, who was inspired by Belos and looked to him as a role model when she was younger. Even before becoming a parasitic tyrant, Belos was a dark reflection of Luz, subjecting others to fantasies and delusions… Maybe not initially maliciously nor willingly, maybe it was just him having fun like any author. But then this innocuous action became very dark in retrospect, as Belos and his ‘hobbies’ worsened and took on a more harmful role for the people of the Boiling Isles.

I suppose it’s worth noting that Belos’ imagery invokes a lot of white, which is also seen with Azura’s predominantly white-and-purple robes… While Belos is white-and-gold. If Belos is a dark deconstruction of Luz’s assumption of a Chosen One narrative and fantasies, then maybe he’s also a deconstruction of Azura herself; And this of course suggests that he actively emulated his own creation. He’s artistic and a writer like Luz is, but it seems Belos got TOO convinced by how good he was, and couldn’t take constructive criticism- Which could be like King as an author in Sense and Insensitivity, up until he realizes that Luz’s input helped make him so great!

Luz and Amity can still engage in fantasy and fiction, the show always lets them find joy in this… It’s just a matter of finding the distinction between the two and recognizing it. Fully indulging into fantasy is what could’ve led Luz to accepting Adegast’s illusions… But entirely rejecting is is the path that is the Reality Camp, which would’ve sucked the fun and joy out of Luz and turned her into a hollow, soulless imitation of herself. It’s okay to find comfort and media and even be inspired by it, to even take lessons from it; And while you should always prioritize listening to real life when it says otherwise, I think it’s worth observing that Luz’s quest to be a good person like Azura… Well, influences her to be kind!

And it’s this desire to emulate Azura that influences Luz to learn magic, which creates yet another hyperfixation that brings the girl joy, and leads to her connecting with Eda and everyone else in the Boiling Isles in the first place by staying there! Perhaps Belos will contrast with Luz in that while he recognized media’s ability to make him feel happier, he ultimately used it as a crutch, a substitute for actual meaningful interaction and connection with other people- Thus creating the monster we see today. There could be the idea of finding role models, people you want to emulate- But also recognizing their flaws, where to criticize them, and not be like them. That could tie into how Eda is a teacher to Luz, but isn’t always right and excels by taking Luz’s feedback into consideration, instead of assuming she always knows better and will never be wrong.

All in all, this is a fascinating idea Pixel Anon! Even if Belos has no literal connection to the Azura books, I am a big fan of the idea of him being a dark reflection to Luz… A Luz as we see her start out in the series, only to be a Luz who never learns the lessons we see her go through. Belos wanted to be a hero, a main character; But he never went through the actual arc and character development of one, and instead ended up as the static villain, the main antagonist who causes problems for actualheroes. If some characters become what they despise most by trying to avoid that, then perhaps Belos is someone who avoids becoming what he wanted to be, in his attempts to be like that.

Whether or not media has played a role in Belos’ life has yet to be seen, but there is the idea of him having lived out a traditional ‘fantasy’ without realizing it as such, because to him this IS his reality- So it’s ironic then that Belos deludes himself while Luz doesn’t. Maybe it’s because of this, because Luz has that self-awareness to consider the divide between her fantasies and what reality actually is; Because she has an actual frame of reference for what fantasy and fiction is. Suddenly I’m reminded of that joke in Lost in Language, when Gary sees “Fiction-Fiction” because the Non part, the reminder of reality, was erased; And he has an existential crisis, wondering if any of his life was real…

Imagine this being foreshadowing to BELOS, of all people, having an epiphany- Realizing that so much of his ‘reality’ was just his own fiction, that he questions what things were real and what things never were. Belos realizing he forgot to consider reality, and now he’s questioning everything he knows, if his arcane knowledge is all for naught if he can’t even distinguish facts from fantasy… etc. What is real and objective- What if all of his ‘Non-Fiction’ was simply just Fiction, and Luz the troublemaker must reveal this to Belos? I’m just imagining Luz very awkwardly cringing and navigating around Belos’ breakdown, but also sort of relating to his dilemma and helping him recover; At least for the sake of everyone else, because a reformed Belos makes life easier than a dead one.

Plus, Luz is very compassionate in that sort of way… And while Belos’ radiance has blinded him for so long; Now, it’s Luz’s less harsh Light, which helps open his eyes and allow Belos to properly see the world around him. Eyes DO seem to be a major motif in the Boiling Isles, and with Belos, whose eyes need to be fixed by some palisman bile… If Belos’ light has blinded all, himself the first victim; Then Luz’s more Night-time, Star-oriented Light can bring a sunset to Belos’ shining era, for now the sun sets on his empire after all these years. And with the lights dimmed, Belos can appreciate the darkness around him as a contrast, and truly recognize things for what they are… And Luz can metaphorically open his eyes and mind.

If Luz illuminates others to the truth of their situation and what they’re doing- Then maybe her final obstacle can be Belos… Alongside her mother Camila, when Luz reunites with her and reveals just how much happier she’s been in the Boiling Isles, instead of the Reality Camp that was actually going to hurt her. THAT would be an unusual parallel, Belos and Camila, as two significant adults in Luz’s life… Potentially ones who taught Luz everything she knew prior to Eda, with Camila providing social interactions to the girl, while Belos provides lessons through his Azura fiction and media. If Azura and Camila were all Luz knew and learned from, it’d be interesting for her to teach THEM something herself- Again, a continuation of that theme of the teacher having a lot to learn from the student, and not being so infallible and all-knowing themselves. Even a teacher like Eda can still enjoy the wide-eyed opportunity and curiosity to learn as a student, once more…

#the owl house #owl house #the owl house belos #emperor belos #the owl house luz #luz noceda #the good witch azura #speculation #ask

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perriewinklenerdie · 4 years

Text

Heat in the rain (Ethan Ramsey x MC)

Open Heart, Ethan Ramsey x MC

A/N: Hello, hello, hello! How is everyone? I hope that we are all kicking ass and enduring it as best as we can. It's AU time again (can be read as a regular fic though). I got carried away (as I usually do) and this got so long that I had to chop it in half. This is part 1, part 2 will be out later this week I hope.

AO3 link:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/23863984

Tag list: @paleweasels, @hopelessromantic1352, @kittykatchoices, @valiantlychaoticbarbarian , @radlovedreamer , @usuallyamazinglyaverage, @strawberrwess @palestazure, @cordoniaqueensworld, @universallypizzataco, @princess-geek, @faithhasnowords, @mightyfangirlofthefandoms, @drakewalkerfantasy, @timmagicktoad, @laceandlula, @greywitchyshots, @llamasgrl, @gingerjane15, @bucket-harrington , @marywrites-things , @ethanplaysfavorites , @mfackenthal , @betelgeusebee , @simsvetements, @i-only-signed-up-for-fanfiction, @buzz-bee-buzz, @owleyes374, @cora-nova, @aworldoffandoms, @l822, @cream-ray, @ughhhxjazzy, @silverlitskies, @justendlesssummerfeels, @togetherwearerapture, @desmaranj, @edgiestwinter, @friedherringclodthing, @daisy-ashton, @waytooattuned, @choicesgremlin , @lapisreviewsstuff, @the-soot-sprite, @writerapprentice, @chasingrobbie, @choicesobsessedd, @x-kyne-x, @thisperfectmemory, @drakewalker04, @rookie-ramsey, @jlynn12273, @thepinknymph @dr-brianna-casey-valentine, @a-i-n-a-a-s-h Enjoy! <3

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„Mom, calm down, we’ll be home in an hour at most.” A heavy sigh escaped her lips, her fingers wrapped tightly around her phone. The commotion happening next to her was making her head spin, shouts and raised voices enhancing the shallow feel in her chest. Her mother’s voice rang in her ear as she tried to explain to her that she couldn’t exactly hurry the plane up and that as soon as it touched down, they got to the waiting area waiting for the suitcases to be available, so they could pick them up, and get home, just in time for dinner.

They’ve been dating for what felt like forever, and Ethan has met her family, piece by piece. They adored him. While at first, he was nervous, so nervous in fact that his hands were shaking and his heart was racing, the moment he exchanged two sentenced with her parents, he was pulled into the Herondale family with a warm welcome. His relationship with his own family was complicated, so the openness and honesty of her family was like taking a breath of fresh air, an entirely different world.

It’s the middle of February when she makes the decision to travel all the way back to England to visit her parents. Just a couple of days before her birthday, and stay there until March, with her classes being over and her exams all passed.

Ethan encouraged her to let herself take it easy for just a moment, to stop and look at the world for what it was. She turned around to look at him, tearing her eyes away from the picture she was observing, the walls of the museum surrounding them from all the sides. Her eyebrow strikes up slightly in amusement and her lips curl in a cunning grin as she took a slow step towards him, looking up at him.

“Are you that eager to get rid of me?” she whispered, looking at his lips intensely before averting her eyes to make their gazes meet. His pupils dilated at her words, first in shock, and then, upon registering her actions, in a spark of unexpected desire.

“Me? Never.” he embraced her, pulling her up slightly to leave a kiss on her lips. One touch of his was able to reduce her into a mess that was impossibly hard to reassemble, and complete with that infuriating smirk of his that told her that he was planning something, there was just no way not to believe every word he was saying. “Your Mom misses you, so does your Dad, and I’m sure Will would love to have his sister back.”

“Did you let him convince you to make me go back home so he could have someone to argue with again?” she asked, her voice full of suspicion, noticing how a shadow passed his face. “I knew it! You really want to get rid of me.”

“I don’t, but your parents said that they would like to have you home for your birthday.” Draping his arm over her shoulder, he pulled her to his side, kissing her forehead, the soft touch lingering for just a moment.

“But what if I want you with me for my birthday?”

“I already talked to Harper. She said that if you agreed to go and visit your parents, I can get the last week of February off, so I can join you and your family in England. Spend some time with them, celebrate with you…” his voice trailed off, the tips of his fingers outlining the side of her arm.

“I am so impressed with the level of preparation that went into that little plan of yours. Okay, fine, I’ll go.” Claire muttered under her breath, allowing him to pull her into a tight embrace, knowing that there must have been more to the story.

By the time she arrived at her parents’ house, she managed to forget what that story could have been. Far too ecstatic about finally seeing her family, after so much time away, she let it go, brushing it off as something that most likely was just a passing feeling.

Not much has changed. Her room was still her room, just like she left it before she flew all across the ocean to work alongside Ethan. Her walls were covered with books and music sheets, the piano still stood proudly on the far end of the room and her bed was still covered by that horrendous blanket from the time when she decided that she would make her own. In retrospective, it was not the worst experience of her life, and looking at the blanket now, it could have been much worse, but to say it was great would be an overstatement.

Keeping in mind that Ethan would arrive in the next couple of days, a thought of getting rid of all the embarrassing stuff crossed her mind once or twice, but as quickly as it entered her field of vision, it was thrown out by her just as fast. He let her see his personal space that one time when his parents invited them both for dinner, and while his cheeks reddened, she couldn’t have asked for a better inside view of what made him the man he was now. To take that opportunity away from him would be a crime.

An itch in the back of her mind began to appear more and more the closer his arrival date was. An evening before, she got out all the art materials she owned, grinning wickedly. If it was anybody else, she probably wouldn’t put so much effort into welcoming them, but it was Ethan. And she liked being overly excessive with him, even if just to tease him. His reactions were so predictable to her at that point that she could almost see the blush that would color his cheeks the moment he saw her. It’s been almost a week, and while he did get her a proper sendoff, she couldn’t wait to see his face, to be back in his arms.

Now, standing in the crowded room, surrounded by all the people that wait for their loved ones, that embark on new adventures, she felt a familiar tingle run down her back. It felt cliché, to get ‘butterflies’ at the mere thought of him, and she was sure that he would laugh and taunt her with it, but she just couldn’t help herself. She could argue that she loved him, most probably would tell him that ‘she’s not going to apologize for getting lost in him when she knew damn well he did that with her too’ and then attack him with kisses until they were out of breath. She knew he would not complain, he never did.

Ethan took a deep breath as he took the last step down the stairs, walking out of the plane. The air was different than in Boston, almost lighter, but he most likely was biased. The quality of air had nothing to do with any natural reasons, nothing to do with cars and pollution or the proximity to the water.

It was her, and only her. And he knew it damn well.

His jacket did a poor job at protecting him from the biting cold that tore itself underneath the thin fabric of his shirt, brushing over the skin of his abdomen. It felt like a thousand needles of ice, pricking his skin every time he moved, and he was ready to get inside. Not because it was warm in there, but because every room he crossed, every meter he encountered, brought him closer to Claire. And he couldn’t wait.

The baggage claim couldn’t take any longer. Every other time he flew on the plane, it was frustrating, but this time, it was seemingly worse. Restlessness made his muscles ache, made his skin crawl, caused him to walk back and forth.

He could still remember, very vividly, the times in which upon seeing a man act the exact same way he was behaving now, his mind would be swarmed with thoughts of how impatient the man was and how ridiculous he looked. Now he understood, more than he ever thought would be possible, that it was nearly impossible to sit still, because every cell in his body told him to go.

The amount of people in the waiting area was giving him a headache. He was never good with crowds, any person working with him knew how much he hated crowds, so the sea of people he saw before him was too much. Most of them were standing or sitting, and there were a couple of people holding the cards with names written on it. One card stood out from the rest, at the very end of the line. Blue and green glitter, hearts and flowers, handwritten in a neat style.

Your pancakes suck

The card covered the face of the person holding it, until it moved down, revealing the very smug Claire, her lips curled in a satisfied smirk. He moved towards her, his suitcase behind him, walking fast, but never fast enough. She threw the card aside, meeting him halfway. Her arms wrapped tightly around his neck, her face buried in the juncture between his neck and shoulder. Her chest moved as she took a deep breath, his scent so familiar to her now, calming her raging senses and emotions. His hold on her was tight and firm, just as she remembered it to be, one hand pressing her against him. He ran his fingers through her hair, closing his eyes, taking a moment to register that it was not one of many dreams he’s had this past week and that she was actually there, in his arms.

“You’re proud of yourself, aren’t you?” he muttered into her ear, his tone making it sound like a statement more than a question, and the warm breath that brushed against his skin was the only confirmation he needed.

“I was looking for that blush of yours. It’s a myth, a legend, and I just really like proving you wrong.”

He was about to retaliate, when he felt two points of contact, pressing sharply into his sides. A gasp of shock escaped his lips as he jerked away from her, his eyes wide. Claire grinned, winking at him playfully, then took a slow step towards him, brushing his cheek with the back of her fingers.

“I missed you.” she whispered, pulling him down for a tender kiss, so warm it made a hot shiver run down his back. He felt electricity tingling in the tips of his fingers, sparks so tangible he got worried she would feel it when he touched her waist. Nothing could keep him away from her at that moment, not hundreds of people around them, not endless amounts of announcements flowing from their speakers, not the bright lights above their heads. Nothing.

Their walk to the car would have been a whole lot slower if it wasn’t for the downpour that fell from the sky. She pulled on his hand, laughing breathlessly as rain soaked their clothes and hair, making the strands stick to their faces. They threw his suitcase into the back of the car and stumbled inside, turning the heating up to full power. She sent a text to her Mom that they would be a bit later than she previously thought due to the rain, and then pulled out of the parking lot.

“How was your flight?” she asked, taking a careful turn left, turning the radio on and turning the music down so they could talk.

“There was some turbulence, but other than that, it was just a plain, long flight.” he sighed heavily, reclining in his seat so he could look at her without straining his neck. She glanced at him every now and then, her eyes sparkling brightly.

The rain drummed against the outer surface of the car, muffling the sound of music and her humming. She could feel his gaze on her, a flash of heat, pressing against the line between her neck and cheek. The situation on the road got significantly worse and it made her unable to look over to him, so she had no way of knowing that he has leaned so close to her. The first sign of him being close was his breath, making goosebumps rise on her skin. She took a shaky breath, the tension palpable in the air.

“Are you nervous?” he muttered against the slope of her neck, pressing his lips to her pulse point and sucking gently, stealing the last of air she had in her lungs. The back of his fingers brushed her hair back, exposing her shoulder to his ministrations.

“Try ‘excited’.” She panted, her grip on the steering wheel tightening, her knuckles turning pale. He gave her a laugh, a deep rumble that made his chest tremble. His teeth grazed her flesh vaguely, a tease that made her blood run faster in her veins, heading towards her cheeks. She bit her lip, fighting the urge to close her eyes and let him do whatever he wanted to her. He aimed his kisses upwards until he reached her ear, breathing heavily.

“Pull over.”

“What?” she stammered, her green irises darkening significantly, even though he had no way of seeing it.

“Pull over, Claire.”

He spoke clearly, confidently, and his voice was filled to the brim with want. She looked in the rearview mirror, checking to see if anyone was driving behind them before taking a sharp turn left, coming to a stop and turning the lights off. She half expected him to pull her to him right away, but when she turned to him, his eyes were trained on her, focusing on one thing at a time. From her soaked clothes, clinging to her body, outlining her curves, to her hair, stuck to her face in soft curls.

Next thing she knew, he was all over her, pressing their lips together with an impatient growl. He grabbed her hips, his height allowing him to tower over her as she sunk into her seat, grabbing fistfuls of his hair and pulling him against her. They kissed with abandonment, so lost in each other that the rest of the world began to melt away.

He bit her lip, pulling on it with a low hum while his hand reached for the lock of her seatbelt, undoing it and flinging the restraining stripe of material away from her body. His palm run over the side of her body in great haste, reacquainting himself with her again, before his hand dove between her legs, grabbing the handle beneath her seat and pulling it, sending her backwards, making room for him to pick her up and pull her to him.

She straddled him, gripping his shoulders to settle herself against him. His arms went around her, pressing them together, causing a choked moan to escape his lips. Her knees pressed into his thighs, her fingers digging into his shoulder blades as he assaulted her neck, biting and sucking on her skin until it turned pink.

“It’s very rude to display such affections in public, Mr. Ramsey.” She breathed heavily, grinning as she put every last bit of her energy into channeling her British accent. He laughed shortly, leaning back to look into her eyes, nudging her nose with his.

“It’s rude to keep me away from you, Ms. Herondale. I can’t be held accountable for all the ungentlemanly things I’m about to do to you.” he whispered, trailing off as he leaned into her again, pecking her lips teasingly a couple of times.

“You never were a gentleman in the first place.”

Ethan shook his head at her comment, grabbing the back of her head and pulling her back into him, kissing her again and again, his other hand running all over her body. She gripped the lapels of his jacket, using the newly found leverage to grind herself against him, eliciting a low growl that escaped his lips.

It was her turn to reach behind him, pushing the button that reclined the back of his seat, causing them both to stumble backwards. His hands flew to her backside, pressing her downwards as his hips moved upwards, a string of muttered curses falling from her lips in broken accent.

“Claire-“ he started saying, his tone warning her that he would lose control any second now, when an obnoxiously loud sound of her phone ringing blasted from the speakers of her car. He groaned, falling back against the seat, covering his face with his arm as she giggled, kissing his cheek briefly before answering the call.

“Claire, are you two alright? The weather is getting worse and worse, do you need help?” her mother’s voice rang in the small space, filled with worry.

“We’re fine, Mom. Going a little slower since it’s so bloody difficult to maintain control…” she winked at Ethan, pressing a finger to her lips and his eyes widened as he realized her Mother could hear every little thing that happened inside of the car. “We’ll be home in about twenty minutes.”

“I’ll make some tea. Does Ethan like chocolate? I baked a cake.”

Claire had to bite her lip to keep herself from bursting out laughing before she answered. “He loves it.”

The call ended and his heavy sigh was the only thing that could be heard in the otherwise completely silent car. She kissed his cheek softly, then moved back to her seat, fixed its position and started the car back up. As it rolled back onto the road, she turned the music on the radio up. He rolled his eyes so loudly she could practically hear it, her laughter ringing in the air.

“That sure sounds familiar.” He muttered as a song from one of their first dates blasted from the speakers.

“Then you won’t mind if I sing along. For old times’ sake.”

#ethan ramsey #open heart #ethan x mc #mc x ethan #open heart fanfiction #choices fanfiction #fic #fanfiction #dr. ethan ramsey #ethan ramsey x mc #mc x ethan ramsey

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daisylincs · 4 years

Note

12 + 80 for Staticquake?

12 = Roommates AU, 80 = Green-Eyed Epiphany

Ahahah thank you so much, anon, I LOVE green-eyed epiphanies! I was actually hoping someone would send in a prompt like this, so big hugs to you. I hope you enjoy this!! 🤗

Daisy and Lincoln have been roommates for about eight years now, and it shows, in everything - like the way they know each other's routine so well by know that he'll yell "remember to put milk in the coffee maker first" from the shower when he hears her getting up, because he knows she's far too sleepy in the mornings to remember the quirks of their temperamental old coffee machine; and the way she'll leave him a sticky note on his stack of patient files for the day reading pick up Chinese for dinner, yeah? because she knows he'll pass right by that Chinese place they both love on his way back from the hospital; and the way he'll pick up all the socks and stray printouts she'll leave lying around, while she'll be busy fixing him a bowl of Ramen because she knows he'll have forgotten to eat on his shift.

Daisy could probably have moved out years ago, technically, because her job at Shield Programming pays, like, off-the-books well.

But she likes living with Lincoln, even though she stopped needing the money long ago. Besides, he's still finishing his residency, and she'd be a sucky roommate for ditching him now.

She wouldn't mind staying like this for the rest of her life, actually. Jemma would roll her eyes, but Daisy maintains her point: they've got a good thing going here; the kind of steady, unquestioning friendship that can only form after years and years of knowing each other.

And, you know, living in close proximity to each other for all those years. You stop being awkward around someone after about the fifth time you see them shirtless - after that, things are just good.

As in, knowing-each-other-so-well-you-can't-imagine-a-life-without-them-in-it good.

Daisy and Lincoln have so many inside jokes by now that nobody else can keep track of them. They've also picked up the habit of finishing each other's sentences - Daisy blames Fitzsimmons.

But the best part about this is the blackmail material they have on each other. Like that time Lincoln forgot to do the laundry, and went around wearing her "Golden Girl" T-shirt for the rest of the day. (She has photos.) Or that time when she was having an impromptu singing concert to the tomato sauce in the kitchen, and he recorded it.

They're so tight that pretty much everyone asks them if they're dating. Daisy and Lincoln are so used to it by now that they even have this whole elaborate story about an epic romance that failed because of dramatic and irreconcilable toaster preferences.

But, really - them dating? Pffft. Don't be dumb. They just don't think of each other that way.

They're both dating other people, for crying out loud!

Well. Technically, they were both dating other people. Daisy and Grant (lying cheating asshole, she thinks automatically) broke up a few months ago, and Lincoln hasn't dated anyone in a while.

But that's just because he's really busy completing his residency.*

She's sure he'll be bringing a girl around soon enough.

The thing is, Daisy didn't expect to actually be right. She expected to be going around saying "oh, no, I'm sure Lincoln will find someone soon enough" for a long time yet.

And it shouldn't, but it really bothers her.

She didn't okay this new relationship. She didn't okay this girl. She didn't okay any of this!

In some distant corner of her mind, she knows she's being utterly ridiculous. Lincoln is her roommate, not her dog. She doesn't get to okay this kind of thing in her life.

But this girl. Oh, dear God, this girl.

She's the worst - even worse than that Deke guy who keeps mailing her lemons, for some weird reason.

I mean, she drinks her coffee wrong! All black and without even a drop of sugar.

And she doesn't like Harry Potter!

Every little thing she does is just wrong, wrong, wrong, and irritatingly out of place in her and Lincoln's routine.

Plus, she's really not that pretty. At all. Daisy has eyes, she knows Lincoln can do better.

When Daisy explains all of this to her, Jemma just gives her a long, flat look. "You're sure you're not jealous?"

Daisy splutters, nearly spitting out her coffee (with milk and sugar, thank you very much, Alisha.) "Jealous?!?! Why the hell would I be jealous? What gives you that idea? There's nothing about this that says jealousy!"

"I just think," she says, stirring her coffee, "that Lincoln can do better than that little weasel."

Jemma's eyebrows fly up, and it looks like she's biting back a smile. "Weasel?"

"Yes!" Daisy says emphatically, slamming her coffee down on the table. "She's all, that's so cool, Lincoln and your flat is so nice, Lincoln and I worship the ground you walk on, Lincoln. Weaselling. All. Of. The. Time."

"You've met her once," Jemma reminds her, looking more amused than ever now.

Daisy scowls into her coffee. "That's more than enough, believe me."

Jemma is wearing her deluxe uh-huh face. "You're sure you're not jealous?"

Daisy glares at her. Is Jemma being deliberately obtuse? "Of course I'm not jealous! I'm just a concerned friend who knows he can do better." Obviously.

Jemma mutters something that sounds oddly like what, like you? under her breath, but when Daisy narrows her eyes, she drops it.

But the subject won't leave Daisy's mind.

Not her nonexistent jealousy, of course. Don't be daft.

Alisha.

How she's ruining everything.

How she keeps trying to get all of Lincoln’s attention. How she keeps putting stuff out of order in their flat.

How she’s only been over once, but Daisy can already see that she’s just not right for Lincoln.

Speak of the devil! When she gets home, there's Alisha, sitting in her spot on the couch next to Lincoln.

Daisy doesn't even think they hear her come in - Alisha's too busy laughing at one of Lincoln's jokes (probably one of those really-not-funny science puns he loves so much, she thinks, glaring) and Lincoln's got his arm slung around her shoulders.

It makes her blood boil.

That's her spot, there next to Lincoln. That's her spot, rolling her eyes and punching him lightly in the arm when he makes a dumb joke, not laughing like an idiot.

That's her spot, not Alisha's.

She belongs there. She, Daisy Johnson.

And that's when she realises: she's jealous.

She's completely, totally jealous.

Jemma was right.

(Well, no surprises there.)

But the point is - she, Daisy Johnson, is completely jealous of her roommate's girlfriend.

And she's not an idiot. She knows what that means.

Well, shit.

Her hands spontaneously unfreeze, and she drops her car-keys onto the floor with a loud clatter.

Well, double shit.

She curses under her breath as Lincoln and Alisha whip around, eyes widening at the noise.

"Hey, guys," she says, in the most casual voice she can muster. Lincoln cannot know something's up - not until she's had the chance to figure out what exactly she's going to do about things.

Lincoln frowns. "Are you okay?" he asks, his blue eyes searching her face.

Daisy plasters on her most convincing smile. "Of course I am," she says. "I'm just heading to my room now."

Alisha nods, as though this is perfectly normal, but Lincoln's brow is furrowed. "Are you sure you don't want to stay and watch for a bit with us? You've seen all The Good Place, so I'm sure you could just drop in whenever -"

"No," she interrupts, so sharply that he looks taken aback. "I mean, no," she says, deliberately softening her tone and adding a small smile. "I've got… stuff to do. Have a nice date. Binge-watch. Make-out session. Whatever."

She wants to hit herself very hard on the head with a heavy object, repeatedly, because if that's not the most awkward rejoinder in the history of all rejoinders…

She rushes across to her room, feeling her cheeks blazing, and praying to everyone who's listening that they leave her alone.

Lincoln follows her, of course.

"Daisy, you're not okay," he says, standing in her door with folded arms and a deep frown.

"Get back to your date," she says, just a little hysterical, because honestly, she's just had a big revelation dropped on her head and absolutely no time to sort out how the hell she feels about it all.

"Uh, no," he says, like it's obvious. "Alisha can wait. You're obviously not alright, and you're my friend, so -"

Oh, he really shouldn't go about saying things like that. Her head is a total mess as it is - that's just going to make her think that he's implying that she's more important than Alisha.

That is what he's implying, though, right?

"Daisy?" he asks, taking a step towards her when she just stands there like an emotionally confused statue.

She instinctively steps back, and oh, wrong move.

They're roommates. They've never been shy with physical touch - she's fallen asleep on his shoulder too many times to count, and he's used her legs as a pillow about the same amount. They've held each other for nights on end when the nightmares come, or after breakups, and they hold hands when they can see the other one needs it. They bump shoulders, brush against each other, shove at each other and tug on each other's arms all the time.

... In retrospect, she's feeling like a prize idiot for not realising she liked him till now.

But. Anyway. Here she is, shying away from physical touch, which she never does.

She sees the moment when he goes from "rightfully concerned" to "seriously worried," and it's right at that second. He takes her by the shoulders - gently, so she can still pull away if she wants to - and guides her to sit down on the bed.

"What's wrong, Dais?" he asks, and his voice is so stupidly sincere she thinks she might lose her mind completely.

He obviously cares so much.

But just not in that way.

"Daisy," he prompts, putting a gentle hand on her cheek to ground her, because he just knows she'll be getting dragged down in her thoughts.

She’s just about to reply when Alisha yells from the living room, "Linc, are you coming?"

And she can't be imagining the annoyance that flickers across his face. "Just a moment, Alisha," he says impatiently. "I'm busy."

They hear a sudden clatter as Alisha stands up sharply. "Really, Lincoln?" she asks, and she's full-on yelling now. "Is Daisy really that much more important than me?"

She doesn't give him the chance to continue, blazing on with her rant. "Well, I'm sick of it. All you can talk about is Daisy, and how smart and pretty and perfect she is. And you know what? I'm done. She's obviously the only one you'll ever have eyes for, and I'm really not in the mood to be stuck as your second-best for the rest of my life. That's it."

There's a shocked silence in the apartment for a full minute after Alisha slams the door, and her angry footsteps fade down the stairs.

Daisy and Lincoln gape at each other for a minute, neither of them quite sure what to say.

Then a thought - a memory that had been niggling at the back of her mind for the entirety of Alisha’s rant - pops up to the surface.

"You know," Daisy says, feeling as though something important has dawned, but not quite sure what it is, "that's exactly what Grant said. He said he cheated on me because, and I quote, he could never be the most important guy in my life."

"Yeah, well, Grant is an asshole," Lincoln says immediately.

"And Alisha's a weasel," Daisy counters.

His eyebrows fly up, and he looks so much like Jemma that Daisy wants to laugh. "Weasel?" he repeats.

Daisy rolls her eyes - but she can't help but notice that Lincoln isn't looking nearly as upset as he should be.

"Did she have a point?" she asks, dropping all jokery and looking seriously up at him.

He sighs, running a hand through his hair. "Daisy…"

"Does everyone have a point?" she interrupts, standing up so she's almost level with him. "Does everyone see something we don't?"

Lincoln is frowning, obviously not getting it. “I don’t -”

“Everyone always assumes we’re dating, or says we should be dating,” she cuts him off, quick and sharp.

She takes a breath, channels May, and says it. "Are they right?"

Lincoln's hand freezes in his hair. "What?"

"Are they right?" she repeats, louder this time.

His mouth drops open a little, and he closes it quickly when he realises. "Well," he says carefully, "we have known each other for eight years, and it’s only to be expected that we’d be close -"

“I don’t care about what’s to be expected!” she cuts him off sharply. “I care about what’s true. For you, and for me.”

She’s slightly out of breath, and her gaze is locked on his, and she doesn’t think she could look away even if she wanted to.

“Do you think,” she says, “that they’re all right? That we’d work, if we were dating?”

The question hangs in the air between them for a moment, crackling and intense.

Then Lincoln answers simply, like it's the only answer there is: "yes."

Because yes, it is the only answer there is.

If they were dating, they would work.

They already know each other better than anyone else in the world, and mean more to each other than, well, anyone else in the world.

Grant and Alisha were sort of right, she realises. No relationship with anyone else could come close to what she and Lincoln have.

They’ve always done things together, and she can see him coming to the same conclusions at the exact same time.

His blue eyes are wide as he meets her gaze again.

“So,” he says slowly, and he sounds uncharacteristically uncertain, “what do we do now?”

“Well,” Daisy says, just as slowly, but with significantly less uncertainty. She can already feel a grin beginning to tug up the corners of her lips. “You’re the one with the scientific mind, Mr Med Student. If there’s a theory, you need to -”

“Test it,” he finishes for her, an answering grin playing on his lips. “You want to kiss me?”

Daisy shrugs one shoulder, trying to ignore the sudden explosion of butterflies in her stomach. “Well,” she says, shifting closer so she’s inside his space, “there’s only one way to confirm this theory once and for all, isn’t there?”

His gaze is soft as he looks down at her, so soft that she thinks she might melt into a puddle of mush. “I guess so.”

And then he’s closing the last bit of distance between them, slipping his hand into her hair and gently tilting her head up, and she’s stretching up on her tiptoes and placing her hand on his cheek.

They share a long, soft look - both of them with smiles still playing on their lips - and then her eyes are fluttering shut, and they’re kissing.

And if she thought she'd had good kisses before? Well. This is like nothing she’s ever experienced before.

She’s always known she and Lincoln work well together, but this is a whole new level. It’s like they were always meant to fit together like this.

It feels like coming home.

When they finally have to break apart for breath, Daisy opens her eyes to find Lincoln looking at her with a thoroughly shell-shocked expression.

She can’t help but grin at the sight. “I think it’s safe to say the theory is proved,” she says, nudging his nose with hers.

He rolls his eyes, but there’s only affection in his gaze. “You think?”

Daisy pulls back a bit to tilt her head, pretending to seriously consider it. “Actually, no, you know what? I think I’ll need some more proof.”

He’s shaking his head, eyes full of fond exasperation, but he’s not complaining at all when she presses up on her toes to kiss him again.

And if some tiny part of her had thought that first kiss was just a fluke... nope, that part was completely wrong.

This is still the most incredible thing she’s ever felt.

A sudden thought occurs to Daisy, and she has to stifle a small laugh against his lips.

He quirks his eyebrows at her, keeping his forehead pressed against hers. "What?"

"A week or so ago, Jemma was rolling her eyes at me when I said I wanted to be your roommate for the rest of my life," she says.

Tilting her head, she smiles up at him, with the kind of absolute happiness you can only get in those rare moments when everything is exactly right. "And now," she tells him, "that's exactly what I'm going to be."

His gaze goes all kinds of soft again. "That's what you think this is going to be? For the rest of our lives?"

She doesn't even hesitate for a second. "Hell yeah."

The End.

*For those of you who, like me, didn't know until now, a residency is the period where someone studying to be a doctor works in a local hospital under supervision. It's a very important part of the whole becoming-a-doctor process, and forms the last 3-4 years of your studies. (Thank you very much to Grace for explaining this to me!! Fic writing has turned out to be ever such an informative process, it's honestly amazing.)

Anywho, I hope you guys liked this bullet-point fic - it's definitely one of my favourites, and feels like a nice place to end the series.

#tropes mashup #roommates au #green-eyed epiphany #staticquake #bullet-point fic

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militant-holy-knight · 5 years

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Castlevania Season 3 Review: Ellis is Gonna Ellis I Suppose.

Warning: Massive spoilers ahead because I don’t give a shit anymore so scroll down really fast if don’t want to get spoiled

Being a Castlevania fan is pure suffering, man. Not only is the video game franchise being put on ice by Konami at the time of writing, but your only form of enjoyment is a hit-or-miss Netflix Original written by a guy who admits never playing the games. I tried to enjoy the first season despite it being only four episodes long, and same thing with the second one which was longer but had a plethora of issues. Now it’s the third season, which took a year-long break to be made, and I am absolutely sorry to say it’s the absolute lowest point of the show: not only repeating the issues from the previous season, but amplifying them and failing to do anything interesting with anything new that is given. I will elaborate why I think so in this review.

So after Season 2, Dracula has been destroyed, our heroes have split up with Trevor and Sypha going their own way while Alucard has stayed behind in his father’s castle overlooking the Belmont Hold. Carmilla and Isaac have survived and are preparing to build an whole new army, the former to establish a new empire and the latter to get his revenge on her for betraying Dracula.

Even though the stakes are lower than the possible extinction of the human race which was the (possible) outcome from Season 2 which never actually came into fruition, you’d imagine they would do something inciting with this new status quo... But you’d be wrong. This season as a whole felt like padding in all conceivable manners. Not only was the pacing atrocious (which I will get into a minute), but really, nearly all of the events that occurred could have been omitted and the storyline as a whole wouldn’t have been affected somehow.

The pacing was the worst problem in Season 2 since you had the protagonists locked down inside a hold to do research on how to kill Dracula and endless exposition among the bad guys that some defenders call “vampire politics’ which ultimately went nowhere. The pacing in Season 3 is even worse since not only is it longer (10 episodes this time), you have more storylines now but each of them move at completely sluggish pace with a disproportional large amount of exposition and comparatively few action.

The Castlevania games were level-based games which had you visiting several distinct locations whether if it was inside or outside the castle. An adaptation series of Castlevania would make more sense if it was episodic in nature, perhaps even with monster of the week formula. It would have been better off for it, but the show is attempting channel Game of Thrones with an over-aching arc with sprawling individual storylines whose episodes are build up for an epic confrontation at the end, but it fails in that regard.

Trevor and Sypha’s storyline was absolutely pointless - they have no idea of the larger threat brewing with two demonic armies about to clash against each other, but they are stuck doing what basically amounts to a sidequest, investigating a evil cult operating in a small town which takes a needless long time to conclude. They completely fail in saving the townsfolk from being sacrificed and end up discovering that one of the characters that has been helping them is actually a monster all along. This only serves to make their effort completely pointless and leave the pair absolutely bitter and angry.

Not that there is any urgency in stopping Carmilla or Isaac since they come nowhere near close to trading blows to one another. In fact, Carmilla doesn’t come anywhere close to achieving her goal of raising an army of demons with Hector (who has been enslaved by her for this purpose) and it’s actually one of her lieutenants Lenore that solves this problem at the end. On the other hand, Isaac gets the closest thing to an highlight in this season by experiencing something of an character development since he is questioned by several characters that maybe humans aren’t so bad as a whole. The problem is that his development becomes inconclusive since he doesn’t learn to be anymore different than he used to.

Alucard gets sidelined like you wouldn’t believe. He spends the entire season in his castle now with two new characters, Japanese twin hunters that seek to be training so they can free their people from the vampires... Aaaaand they try to fuckin kill him, which comes out from nowhere specially after an extremely uncomfortable threesome between him and the twins. And just in case you thought the previous season was depressing enough with Alucard breaking down in tears completely alone in his castle, this one ends not only with Alucard still alone, crying, but now emulating his dad by leaving the impaled corpses of the twins in the castle’s entrance to scare off any trespassers which is the closing shot of this season.

But for me, the biggest letdown has to be Hector. He was one of my favorite characters from the games, having starred his own entry Curse of Darkness for the PS2 where he actually turns on Dracula on behalf of humanity and pursues Isaac for murdering his wife. Here, he does absolutely fuck all during the entire season except being bossed around by Carmilla’s sisters. The guy had such cool powers of summoning Innocent Devils and wielding all types of weapons (including a lightsaber) is reduced to a whimpering slave, whom I have absolutely no hope of seeing in his absolute glory. The worst part is that it was very predictable - the moment I saw Lenore saying that both her and Hector should flee together, I knew she was gonna screw him in some way. The irony is that unlike the other storylines which pull some kind of mean twist in the last second, here you already can tell what is going to happen next.

The new characters frankly do nothing for the story. The aforementioned Carmilla’s sisters are pure window-dressing and only Lenore gets the shit done by herself might I add completely independent from the others and specially Carmilla herself (who does nothing). A video game character actually does get featured - Comte of Saint-Germain, who is some kind of magician in search of his loved one who got lost in another dimension. Another step down from his video counterpart who is a time guardian that preserves the cosmic balance (though it seems they were channeling the historical figure rather than the character that happens to share the same name given their ignorance for the source material).

There are of course those typical Warren Ellis moments like three mentions of bestiality (and one goatfucking as usual) and anti-Christian commentary, though it seems to be sending some kind of mixed messages this time: in one hand Sypha comment that while she hates God, she at least admires Jesus because of his sacrifice which can be considered one of nicest things that atheists can comment about Christianity... And then the next episode features an demon that used to be a Greek philosopher who lived during post-Constantinian Roman Empire and was persecuted by Christians because of his intellect. Oh dear. With that said, it’s rather odd this guy became a demon so maybe he had it coming?

Overall, this season is a lot more weaker and lacking than Season 2, which at least had the climax in Episode 7 which some people were willing to forgive the dullness from that season. But Season 3′s climax is completely unfocused, interlaced with unnecessary and uncomfortable sex scenes and doesn’t even feature classical music from the games, which was the saving grace from the last time.

So did it have any upsides? I guess so if you look hard enough like Isaac’s schizophrenic “should I hate all humans or not” dillema which goes unresolved. Hardly anything that elevates the season or make it redeemable in some way. To be perfectly frank with you, I don’t know if I have any interest in keeping with this show. It blew away any good will Season 1 and 2 did, it barely moved the plot forward (and that if it has an overaching plot at all), the protagonists being disconnected to the main threat at large and quite frankly, none of the antagonists are as interesting as Dracula, I just don’t care what happens next. Specially if the pacing and exposition remain in place. In theory, if the series was restructured to be episodic instead of trying to be Game of Thrones, my interest in the show would have been renewed but it’s too little too late.

I guess in retrospect I should be grateful that Season 1 was so short had I knew later ones would be so tedious. There is so very little to do with Castlevania: Dracula’s Curse when you already got rid of the main villain and you don’t move the plot forward. If they want to regain my interest, do a Leon Belmont season that is episodic or heck anything else, but I don’t see them doing this because they have to give closure to this story arc, which already grew past it’s welcome and wasted everyone’s time with a season that amounted to nothing more than filler. Well, my patience has been worn thin.

#Castlevania #reviews

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eponymous-rose · 6 years

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Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role C2E55

This week’s guests are Laura Bailey and Taliesin Jaffe! This week’s theme: leaning hard into the post-con tired. This week’s conspiracy: beards. Why? How? WHEN?!

Announcements: General Admission tickets for Gen Con on August 2nd go on sale tomorrow at 10 AM Eastern Time! Everyone was really blown away by the love at ECCC (over 200 people were at one of the CR cosplay meetups!). Kickstarter update: with 30 days left in the campaign, over $7.6m has been raised thus far. If the next stretch goal is hit, there will be an entire 10-episode series. Brian and Laura also know Ashley’s idea for a one-shot and he’s excited to see it happen.

There will be no episode on Thursday, March 28th and no TM on the following Tuesday due to family commitments and half the cast being out of town.

Without further ado, it’s time to discuss Episode 55: Duplicity!

This episode sets the campaign 2 record for most player d20 rolls at 211. 230 was the record number of d20 rolls in campaign 1, in episode 114. 752 damage was dealt by the Mighty Nein, 280 of which was against each other. Jester and Caduceus both dealt 44 damage, none of which was friendly fire. By the end of the episode, the M9 had 8 spell slots left among them (of 45 total).

Taliesin’s reaction to last episode: “Maaaan. Ow. That hurt.”

For Clay, Taliesin only keeps notes for things he thinks he’d pay attention to. He occasionally peeks at Laura’s notes, mostly for entertainment value. Sam has the most detailed notes at that table right now.

Laura’s strong reaction to Caleb going bad was partly Laura just “giving Liam a lot of shit, because we’re actually siblings,” but this kind of betrayal was also a new experience for Jester.

Are they feeling betrayed by the M9? Taliesin: “Nah, he had siblings, man. He’s fine.” Laura: “Jester does not have siblings. She was pretty distraught about Caleb doing that.”

“This doll definitely comes alive at night.”

There is a very strange puppet show with Laura playing Caleb and Taliesin playing Jester until they decide it maybe makes more sense to swap.

Taliesin’s first thought with the explosive arrow was “Fuck, that’s expensive.” He knew Jester had the spell slot and he knew Clay would be okay. “That was not dumb. It would’ve been worse to be at the mercy of that creature there for a moment. I was toast no matter what. Better to do that there so we could get it in right away.” Laura points out that Sam had the explosive arrow prepped for that action regardless.

Jester is “definitely fighting the fear that she faces during battles now, because she feels mortal,” especially after seeing Caduceus fall. But at the same time, she is “at her core, a protector, both physically and emotionally, of people.”

Laura points out that she doesn’t heal in battle as much because she knows that she won’t be able to overcome the damage enemies are doing; it makes more sense to save lower-level spell slots to bring people back from unconsciousness than to heal people who are nearly down.

Gif of the Week: an extensive (and amazing) dice fail compilation!

Taliesin: “Oh man, that vision from the Wildmother was really good. That was Matt just giving me a big hug for everything that happened.” He’s excited to see some backstory hints there. “This is not what rattles him. Other things rattle him.” He’s of the opinion that grave clerics have probably been pushed to this place in ceremony a few times before.

Jester feels good about the revivify spell, but it’s also made the power of her abilities feel a lot more real. “Healing’s always second for her.”

Clay’s death experience was mainly just significant to him because it involved the Wildmother basically giving him a thumbs-up. “He definitely has a philosophy on the notion of destiny that’s very specific.” Taliesin’s excited to see how Caduceus will act if and when siblings show up. “I think he’s a trash fire. I don’t think this is the Caduceus you get when his siblings are around.”

Laura mentions the blood lust that comes up whenever Matt mentions that a baddie is “looking pretty rough”; it tends to make it tough to concentrate on anything else.

Fan Art of the Week: the revivify spell and Caduceus’ vision.

Jester’s bravery pre-dragon came from naiveté. Now it comes from love, and the people she surrounds herself with. “It’s like she’s trying to find the bravery herself.”

A question points out that Percy’s inventions indirectly led to Nott firing that explosive arrow... and hence he was somewhat responsible for killing his own character. “This is literally what the character was intended to do. This is literally what Percy was invented to do.” He absolutely thought last campaign that he may be killing a future character with his actions as Percy.

“Jester believes in the other gods. She just thinks that the Traveler is way cooler than any of them.” In her mind, the Wildmother has the same sort of relationship with Clay as she does with the Traveler. That’s why she immediately took the “go get his mom, he needs help” approach with her plea to the Traveler.

Is Caduceus holding a grudge against Nott? “I think there’ll be a little bit of a ‘hey, little buddy, be a little more careful there going forward’ talk.” But things happen.

Jester has had a bit of a “Fuck, I should have been there for Molly, too” reaction after the revivify.

In Clay’s mind, fiends are slightly better than the undead. “They’re better, but they don’t belong here. It’s like having an infestation in your home.”

“In retrospect, Nugget really should’ve stayed with Momma a little longer.” Sprinkle’s well-protected. “That’s how I’m saying Sprinkle is not dead.”

Taliesin has really been enjoying his first experience as a cleric. "There’s a lot of satisfaction to looking Matt in the eye and ruining something he’s been working on.”

Search for Grog Questions! CR1 SPOILERS ENSUE!

Taliesin and Laura felt like they didn’t miss a beat going back to Vex/Percy: “Fuckin’ power couple, man.”

Laura had no recollection of the joke about Percy losing his arm in the original episode and was extremely confused. Taliesin honestly didn’t believe Matt was going to do it, but he respects Sam’s commitment to the bit.

The Golden Snitch actually got stolen at some point when Matt’s car got broken into. Taliesin now has an Anti-Snitch that’s been working pretty well.

There’s some ideas thrown around about what to do with Percy’s arm. Some sort of greeter/wacky inflatable tube guy is the general consensus.

#critical role #critical role spoilers #talks machina #talks machina spoilers #long text post

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nxtherold · 5 years

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[ canon muse questions | still accepting ]

@theharellan said: 2, 3, 13 Isabela!

2. Do you have any controversial headcanons that go against what is generally accepted by the fandom? Do you incorporate this into writing your muse or keep it to yourself?

Hmm for the most part I tend to avoid the headcanons circulated by the general fandom because lets be honest, the DA fandom is THE WORST about pushing headcanons on other people and attacking people who accept anything contrary, so I prefer to just....stay away from the non-rp sectors of the fandom. So with that being said, there aren’t many specific fandom-originated headcanons that immediately come to mind. The only thing I can really think of off the top of my head is any of those white-washing headcanons. Thankfully it’s not the fandom at large, and I feel like most people realize how horrible those headcanons/mods/etc are, but there is still a large enough sect of people that accept or perpetuate these things and it makes my skin crawl.

3. What is something that was never addressed at all in the canon material that you have independently developed for your muse?

Pre-pirate Isabela is the aspect of her backstory that I’ve spent the most time contemplating because it really sets up the basic idea of her character, her motivations, and why she behaves and believes as she does. We do get some information as to what her early life was like, some detailed and some vague, but not a complete picture. I feel like the most formative years for Isabela were her late years with Luis and the first few years after his assassination, and I feel like I’ve spent more time developing a solid personal timeline for that period than any other part of Isabela’s life.

That period is where Isabela truly became who she is today, before she ever settled in as a pirate. Her defiance, her resilience, and her resolve to live her life for herself; all of these things had to come to her before she became the pirate queen we know and love, because otherwise she would not have survived. So that’s what I’ve focused on the most, figuring out where it all comes from and why she is such a powerful figure, especially having entered a pirate’s life with nothing. No connections, not much coin, no advantages. She fought for everything she has, and not always through her blades.

No, her skills with her blades are remarkable, but they are not her strength. They didn’t win her early battles in life. Not the battle against her mother. Not against her horrid husband. Not against the gilded cage she’d been trapped in. Those battles were won through her own willpower and drive to reclaim her own identity. So many people tried to rob her of who she is, which is why her most guarded treasure to this day is her sense of self and the power she holds in being able to make her own choices.

13. What canon character do you really wish your muse could interact more with?

I’d love more interactions with DA2 companions. All of them, really, but especially Merrill and Aveline. I also want to see her have positive interactions with Qunari. I feel like she and the Iron Bull would get on well, and it’d be surprising to her to find herself enjoying the company of someone who follows the Qun, a doctrine that she wholly believes destroyed her childhood. It’d be a good chance for some retrospection on her part. Apart from that, I’d also love for her to interact with Josephine or Alistair, especially with events from the comics taken into account.

#theharellan #[isabela ; asks]#thank you Tas <3 #I really rambled on the second question but I just fell into a ''wow I really love Isabela'' hole lmao

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cielrouge · 6 years

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Voltron Legendary Defender NYCC 18' Panel Recap

Ahhh okay here’s the recap post I promised! It took a little while to transcribe all the individual videos I had (I think almost 11 in the end? lol). So, normally I’m not a morning person at all, but as soon as I saw NYCC announce the Hammerstein panel and realizing this might very well be the last VLD panel ever, you can betcha that I got up at the crack of dawn to get my ass down to Hammerstein this morning pfftt. I got there around 9ish, and while there was already a line it moved fairly quickly after a quick bag check. Since I was by myself, I managed to get a pretty decent seat, actually much than I anticipated, located in the early middle-ish of the ground floor seating.

The panel began with the moderator (I forgot his name, sorry mod! D:) with introducing the cast and crew: Joaquim Dos Santos & Lauren Montgomery (Executive Producers), Josh Hamilton (Story Editor), and the VA’s for Allura (Kimberly Brooks), Pidge (Bex Taylor-Klaus), Shiro (Josh Keaton), and Lance (Jeremy Shada). Keith’s VA (Steven Yeun) didn’t make it, but I’m assuming maybe this was because he had prior commitments to promote BURNING at the New York Film Festival this weekend?

Joaquim and Lauren started off the panel regarding the Shiro and Adam storyline in S7, and some “understandably hurt reactions to it." Joaquim stated that they emphasize with everyone’s reactions and "really do feel for you,” while Lauren added: “so we clearly can’t change what’s already happened, but this experience has stirred conversation about what meaningful representation is, and we hope that this leads to better representation in the future.”

VLD Show Retrospective & General Fan Appreciation

Lauren then changed gears to take a moment to say: "how proud we are of our crew who has worked so hard, and our amazing cast who has bought so much life to these characters over these past four years," and a "huge thank you to all of the fans who have just showered us with so much love and support."

Joaquin added that they wanted "our final New York Comic Con, really our final con of the entire series to be a celebration of everyone's hard work. And a really awesome look back at what came before this and an awesome look forward to our final season, of a show that we're so proud to be a part of, and had you guys along for the ride."

The moderator asked what it's been like throughout the years to get to this specific part (season 8) and Joaquim said: "It's amazing for us. It's grown every single year, you guys [the crowd] is the best. It's been an absolute honor working on the show."

Josh H. (VLD's Story Editor) also noted: "It's weird being in the office alone, maybe five of us writers in one room," and they question what will or will not work story-wise, but "then you come to Comic Con and people start to cheer because they love a moment so much."

"It's so different when you're alone by yourself as a writer, and then when you're with an awesome crowd of people. It invigorates you."

Josh K. (Shiro's VA) added that it's been amazing for him to meet and work with the cast, but specifically highlighted his appreciation for seeing all the "incredible talent that's been peppered throughout the fandom.

Specifically emphasizing how the cast and crew "see so many amazing cosplay, so much incredible art, videos, everything. You guys [the fans] really dove into this show and we love it. We're just as much fans as all of you, and we love sharing the show with all of you. It's been a fantastic experience and I'm sad it's coming to an end."

Jeremy (Lance's VA) chimed in: "You don't to be part of many shows like Voltron in your career, so it's been a blessing to be a part of this show. Everybody here puts in so much hard work into their craft and what they do, but you never know what's going to do well or not, and this show DEFINITELY did very, very well." And this was because of the fans, particularly highlighting the passion and dedication, and how "it means the world to us."

Jeremy then pointed out this was a crowd where there actually seemed to be more cosplayers than non-cosplayers, prompting Josh K. to note: "I love going to these cons and looking at everyone cosplaying, and pretending in my head that Voltron is real and now I'm at Space Mall."

Bex (Pidge's VA) chimed in to say that she would make things a little more selfish since: "I've always wanted to play a cartoon character so this was very literally a dream come true for me." But not only to play a cartoon character, but to play a powerful female warrior."

Bex additionally noted how amazing how that's what's resonated most is "for young kids to see themselves in Pidge and Allura. It's just been the most heartwarming experience."

Kimberly (Allura's VA) then spoke to the experience among the cast and crew and how they've become good friends with one another, and how it's "bittersweet that this is our last convention, but it's been amazing."

Season 7 Retrospective (General Storytelling Approach & the VA's Favorite Moments)

Josh H. started off that: "S7 was meant to be putting our paladins at a disadvantage."

So the writers came up with the concept of a 3 year timeskip and "all these stories about going home, and Hunk with his family kind of sprung up naturally from that."

"There's also a story about Allura. It's kinda subtle, but Allura lost Altea, and now she has a chance to redeem herself and help save Earth."

"A lot of these personal moments start to pop up when we got this new angle, so starting off with this 3 year time gap really helped us."

Joaquim noted it was cool seeing the fan buildup with getting the paladins back home to their families, and "knowing for us, from a story perspective that it was coming down the line, and seeing everything get to that fever pitch point. It was a really great payoff to see it all play out."

Lauren switched gears to comment on the "insane logistics" of the whole big Galra attack at the end. They had some initial trouble figuring out how the Zaiforge cannons were supposed to work.

Josh H. chimed in to note that Joaquim kept coming to the writers room to say that something needed to be different about this Galra attack, so he and Mitch Iverson would kind of go on walks and try to figure out how the Zaiforge cannons worked.

While Lauren noted that the logistics was a "massive headache, they were still pretty happy with how it turned out since "it was pretty suspenseful, never a dull moment."

Josh H. added that plot-wise, he liked how the storytelling perspective got to stay on Earth. "We knew that there were going to be seven, Earth-centric episodes," so that gave a lot of time to "meet some new people and come up with MFE pilots."

The writers really enjoyed cracking who the MFE pilots were individually, particularly with the way that Leifsdottir thinks and speaks, so "having this time to stay in one place and time was really fun."

Jeremy noted that they were really happy to have AJ LoCascio (Lotor's VA) still stick around and voice James Griffin in S7.

Joaquim mentioned that for a show of this nature, with all the focus on action-adventure and big explosions and giant robots, it was unusual to "take two episodes and just focus on the logistics on what's going back on Earth while madness is happening. Essentially you had all these meetings going on for what's ostensibly a kid's show."

In terms of trying to find a fine balance between the Earth storyline and Paladin storyline, Lauren and Jaoquim did wonder whether they could spend that much time on Earth without "seeing Voltron punch something" (ROFL) but they knew it was the right decision as they were reading the scripts when they came in, and it just felt right, and "that's ultimately been a testament to the show. Just going with your gut."

Favorite, Standout Moments of Season 7

Bex noted that her favorite episodes of S7 were the Earth-centric ones where "we got to experience what was happening on Earth while we [the paladins] were gone. It was everything I got to see and nothing I got to see in the scripts since we weren't there."

Kimberly noted that the Hunk love was amazing, since he's so "lovable, and we got to see where he was inspired to cook and do all the things that he does, and why he's such a cool guy."

Josh K. added that Hunk really proved himself as the heart of the team.

Jeremy noted that the VA's knew that the Atlas was going to be a thing through the scripts, but they weren't aware of what it actually looked like beforehand.

Bex humorously chimed in to offer that "Atlas is thiccc. I needs that workout routine, okay?" (omfg)

Jeremy agreed that it has a "nice big booty. It's a thick robot." (And at that point, everyone in the audience started wheezing, shrieking, or cackling).

Josh K. added that the day the episode aired, there was a group chat among the VA's where someone just texted "Atlas is thiccc" and Bex admitted that she had this saved to her Tweetdeck for a longgg time.

Josh K. admitted that while he's probably biased, this was still his favorite episode, since Josh wanted Shiro to have everything that he deserves, and he loved how "everything was falling apart and everyone was looking for Shiro to lead."

And in terms of the words and the stage direction, Josh remembered just even reading the script just made him swell up with pride for Shiro and think: "This is amazing. Everybody that didn't believe him in the Garrison came back, those that strapped him to a gunnery, and didn't want to listen to him about Voltron is now looking at him to save them."

Bex added the part where Coran calls Shiro 'Captain' for the first time was one of those moments.

And when Shiro finally makes that connection and is able to transform the ship, Josh knew that while this moment was going to happen, he still had no idea how the Atlas transformation was going to look like beforehand.

Josh fondly recalled that he was hoping to see his wife's reaction to the Atlas transformation for the first time, but he missed her whole reaction since he himself couldn't take his eyes off the scene.

Entire Show Retrospective: Favorite Moments and Why

Jeremy’s Pick (Lance and Keith rescuing Shiro in ep 1): "It's special to me, because I think this may have been one of my audition scenes, but it was really one of the first scenes where you get to see Lance's personality and I love these little moments where he's just very kinda funny and such a goofball, but he still has this goal and is a loyal person. So, when we were recording this scene, I thought: 'Ok I get the character now and this sets the tone for what I wanna do with his character."

Bex’s Pick (Pidge confessing her true identity as a girl): "I love this part. This was something that was in the very beginning not in the audition side, but the character breakdown of Pidge's masquerade as a boy in order to find her family. And who doesn't want to play Mulan? So, it was something that I was waiting for and I remember going back and forth on whether this scene was going to happen in episode 4 or 7. It was really exciting when we got to that part of the script and how we were doing this, and I loved how easy it is."

Josh K's Pick (Shiro rescues Slav): "The thing we know about Shiro, at least in the beginning, is that it seems like there's nothing wrong with him. He seems perfect, he can do no wrong, he's a nice guy, and can kick butt. So sometimes you think, 'can he do no wrong? What's his deal?' and in S2, Shiro meets somebody named Slav and it's once meeting Slav, you start to see that Shiro is not completely perfect. Shiro can get upset, and there definitely is a crack in that paladin armor.”

Josh H's Pick (The 'Slipperies' Scene): "Tim Hendrick came up with the concept of the slipperies as Coran sweating too much and slipping everywhere. Everytime I watch this scene I still legitimately laugh even though the script went through several rewrites."

Kimberly's Pick (Allura and Coran and the milkshake origin): "I think the clip is self-explanatory in terms of our reaction to it."

Lauren’s Pick (When the Paladins hoot fun-sentry into space): "So my clip isn't any moment in the series, but a moment that embodies what our crew does when it comes together, and everybody brings their own thing to it, so it culminates into something so much more."

How Much of the VA's are like their Actual Characters

Josh K. noted that back in 2014, he had just become an actual dad, so he made that weird transition from "living for yourself to having a life were you hold someone else's life in your hands.

”So, he drew a lot of Shiro's "dedication to his team from that feeling. That's really where it all came from.”

While he confesses to generally being more like Lance in real life, still with age and parenting, Josh admits that he's become more of that "space dad type of guy, having to wrangle kids and all that."

Likewise, he's always liked telling bad dad jokes and now revels in still being able to tell them as an actual dad.

Bex admits that for her, she feels that "Pidge is so powerful in her own way and so confident, which is so rare for someone so young." So, while Bex isn't sure if she's entirely become the Pidge that she wants to be, but she's getting there.

Kimberly notes that she strives to be like Allura (Jeremy interrupted to say that Kimberly is a queen and has gotten the queenly wave down).

What Kimberly finds appealing about Allura is that she's a flawed character, but also beautiful, generous, smart, and strong - "these are all things I strive to be, and I feel like I'm becoming more and more like Allura as the show progresses."

Kimberly also added that Allura is her favorite character that she's ever had the pleasure to voice. Even after recording many, many sessions, Kimberly still had no idea what Allura physically looked like, so the first time she was shown the character concept artwork, Kimberly was "so choked up and blown away," since she had no idea what her skin tone was going to be and so on.

Jeremy confesses that he kind of leans into Lance's personality in real life, but in a joking manner since he likes making people laugh. He finds Lance to be such a goofball and that 'adorkable' type of person, and "that's definitely me in real life, but Lance also has all that sensitive loyal side to him which I have and relate to as well."

"He's fun to play, but while Lance tries hard to be very flirty at times, I'm not really like that way. Maybe with my girlfriend, I'll try to say flirty jokes and she'll just laugh and tell me to keep trying."

The Existence of the Voltron Scratch Reel

Lauren explained the concept of a scratch reel where in between the storyboarding, animating, and voice acting process, sometimes they realize that they might need some additional lines, maybe lines get condensed, change names, and so on.

But they don't always have time to get the actors back in, so "a lot of times, it falls upon one of us to put in some temporary dialogue and fill that space, they animate to it, and then we get the animation back and the actors replace the dialogue and it sounds great. But in the meantime, we get to watch some ridiculously horrible acting on behalf of the entire staff - editors, assistants, etc."

Bex noted: "It's always breaks my heart a little to dub over the scratch tracks, because it's so beautiful," while Josh added that he'd love to see an episode just entirely of scratch tracks."

Joaquim chimed in that they had two seasons of the 'Scratchy Awards,' where they handed out staff awards for the best scratch tracks produced (hahaha), where Mitch Iverson spraypainted a bunch of backscratchers with 'Scratchy' Awards' on it.

After they aired the scratch reel, Josh H. noted that there are still some times where scratch ends up being in-screen and it's an unexpected surprise when they're reviewing the editing process.

The most popular scratch reel choice among the VA's is Director Steve Ahn, who had a lot of the 'Ok, calm down' scratch scenes, and Steve Yeun once asked: "Could I get that as my ringtone?"

Jeremy said his favorite parts of the scratch reel were when half the scene were the actual VA lines, and then it was one non-VA word.

Benjamin Kaltenecker did all of the 'moo' sounds for Kaltenecker.

Josh K. noted that Joaquim voices a pretty decent Shiro, and "that's why you didn't see any scratch scenes of that because it's not bad."

Bex noted that she loved it when Lauren had to voice some of the Galra men for the scratch scenes.

Lauren noted that most of the scratch scenes were recorded late at night and the cast & crew weren't really fighting to do a scratch scene, and "we're not usually fighting to voice a character, but it's more like 'who has to do it now? Who hasn't done it in awhile??’

“While we're in shame of our bad acting...poor Rhys [Coran's VA] had to sit through and be insulted since nobody can actually pull off Coran's accent.” Though, Joaquim pointed out that Jeremy does a decent Coran impression which he then demonstrated for the crowd.

Joaquim added: "The hardest thing to do is to record scratch in the booth and it's played back to the actual VA's and we can't hear them because their mics are off, but they're pantomiming the loudest laughter."

Kimberly reassured that the VA's loved hearing the crew's voices for the scratch reel.

Josh K. added that "it's like hearing your friends do an impression of you and makes ADR sessions fun, since they can be so technical at times. It's like getting to watch bloopers."

Getting Some of the Awesome Voltron Guest Stars & Fun VA Recording Moments

Joaquim & Lauren: "We bat around some ideas internally, and couldn't believe when the casting directors were on board with some of our ideas: like getting Vince Shlomi or the ShamWow guy to voice the knife store owner in the Space Mall."

The show's head of casting, Anya's eyes light up this suggestion, and it was kind of a celebrity moment when he came in to record.

Weird Al Yankovic was a fixture of Lauren's childhood, and it certainly helped having a voice director legend like Andrea Romano to fall back on.

At one point, they had Rhys Darby (Coran) and Paul Rubin sort of 'battling it out in the Space Mall haggling sequence' and it was like 'the Lake House of back-and-forth, like they were on two astral planes' but when it came together, it was 'magical.'

Since Nolan North voiced both Sam Holt and Commander Iverson, there were literally scenes where he was just literally talking to himself, and Lauren noted that "the guy's such a professional that he does things straight through instead."

Lauren also noted that Cree Summers is one of those VA's who will sideline an entire session, since she's such a hilarious, big personality.

Jeremy and the other VA's said that recording with the cast was always the highlight of his week. But one of the coolest things was when they had the entire, locked-in VA cast together for the first time, and they realized that they had picked the right people.

"I know I'm doing my job right in the recording booth when I'm making my cast mates laugh."

Sometimes the cast would get into fun side conversations catching up that Andrea (the voice director) had to interrupt and remind them that: 'We're literally in a take right now and you're having a full conversation. You can catch up later.'

Bex once freaked out Josh K. and AJ since they were in the middle of a conversation and they didn't hear the sound beeps, but Bex did and suddenly yelled 'GO!'

Season 8 Plot Teasers

Lauren: "Basically our paladins have freed Earth from Galra rule and all that's left to kind of finish the job and free all the universe."

Joaquim: "We do have this one character that you might have noticed in a clip that becomes pretty pivotal, and she's been gone for a bit..." (Which presumably was Hagger/Honerva since the S8 was then aired)

Fun Misc. Show Tidbits

Bex apparently came to Pidge's audition in a Batman onsie.

During the 'Slipperies scene', the little side panels of Coran's pants come apart and flap like little tails. This wasn't something that was originally in the design, but the animators added it.

The creators once had an original design where Coran had a tail, and Lauren noted "it was super cute."

Jeremy thought the whole Shiro clone saga was awesome, and he specifically loved the Black Paladins episode.

Lauren and Joaquim admitted that they were even shocked by that storyline since they had a very different storyline at first - "that's the interesting thing about the creative process, since you'll get notes and have to make some changes, but it then takes you to really unexpected places and make for some unique and interesting storylines."

There wasn't time for a Q&A portion, and the panel ended with the Season 8 teaser/first look. Though, I'd have to say that it was still definitely fun watching the teaser with such a large crowd of fans, and basically shrieking and gasping together at different intervals hahaha.

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scripted-dalliances · 5 years

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Rest In Peace: Chapter Seven

Title: Rest In Peace

Chapter: 7

Summary: A part of Faithless Fairy Tale, a more in depth look at how they brought Laura back to life. Appearance of old faces, creation of new ones and if you’re looking for canon, it left a long, long time ago. If you squint you might be able to see some pieces from the book.

“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up." -Neil Gaiman

He hates her, he hates her, he fucking doesn't hate her at all and that’s a major fucking problem.

This repeats over and over again, driving him from her in attempt to soothe the beast in his chest. The furious feeling of his heart beating wildly and every inch of him vibrating with unwanted energy. Like he had been shot up with pure adrenaline, like he could start a fucking war and win it.

Like liquid golden luck has been poured into his veins.

Everything in him roars and heats, his cock is hard enough to cut fucking steel at this rate, and the pounding of his blood threatens to make him go deaf. He hasn't felt this rush in years. Possibly decades, and it burns him inside and out knowing that some how Laura Fucking Moon is the cause.

-because this shit is addictive.

“Fuck, fuck, FUCK!” He roars, slamming into the first empty bedroom he finds. Tearing off his clothes as he heads to the connected bathroom. Not even waiting to lose his boxers to jump in under the running shower head. Its cold as hell, but he doesn’t budge. Forces himself to stay under, intent on driving out all the warmth in his bones.

He can not get addicted to her. It's just not a fucking option.

It's one thing to fancy her, to make a deal with her and help bring her back to life.

He owes her that much.

Even the idea of her sticking to her end and giving him a bit of her hard earned faith is just a fancy. A bit of leftover desire from the old days, of Essie and her clan. A selfish, ego centered day dream. One where she goes off to live the life she wants and he can maybe get an ounce of who he was at the end of all this hell.

That's the reason he can't get addicted.

Laura needs him for now, and maybe she even believes in him enough for that to mean something but if there is one thing he knows all too well is that eventually belief will fade.

All it takes is time.

Laura allows Mad Sweeney his space. Despite the clawing need to recapture the odd feeling from before, or the deep unsettled tension developing in her the longer he is gone.

Death has made her clingy.

When she was alive, she enjoyed her space. Loved the days off when no one wanted anything from her and she was allowed to simply be. It would just be her, her cat and a good book, perhaps Shadow out to work or minding the backyard. Back then, she even enjoyed the silence.

Now, it grates on her nerves. Just as darkness reminds her of the grave, now being left alone in silence sends her back. Trapped and scared in a box, confused as hell.

She screamed at first, before realizing quickly that this far down under the earth no one could hear her.

It wasn't until she became enraged, and struck her fist upwards through the wood paneling that she discovered how strong she was. Even then it wasn't an easy climb, the soil was thick and wet, and six feet turns out to be a long way up when you can't fucking see or hear.

More than once, she choked on grave dirt.

After breaking free, it was a blur of rain and violence. Of tracking Shadow and quickly realizing, oh yeah, she was a walking fucking corpse with a missing arm.

She had lied, back when she told Sweeney she didn't have any shame. She did have shame, at least in that moment and that’s what made her turn away from Shadow. She hadn't wanted him to see what death had done to her.

Even now. In retrospect of everything, she finds herself ridiculous, the earlier shame replaced by indifference. Shadow was going to eventually see her, and her shitty sewing job wasn't going to change what he saw.

Fuck, not even the polished, professional look changed that fact.

Just remembering that night, when she had gone to him and posed on his dirty motel bed like a gift makes her insides curl with disgust for herself. She had gone all out. Nice dress, nice hair and gone the extra mile afterwards to warm herself up. Did she really think that would last?

Did she really think Shadow would touch her cold skin and want more?

She decides that at least some of her disgust belongs to the brothers of death, it was their words that had given her false hope. Small as it might have been, it fueled her enough to be brave and confront Shadow.

Any man will be grateful, they had said.

Only Shadow hadn't. He had been horrified.

Scared. Shocked. Hurt.

All well within his right, because she was the corpse of his cheating wife. Who died with his best friend’s dick in her mouth. Who had smelled like rot and lies, trying desperately to pretend she wasn't.

Maybe if she hadn't kissed him, things could have been different. She will at point blank refuse to admit Sweeney might have been right about that too. As far as she is concerned he is at max, allowed to be right once a day.

Any more than that and he would just be an insufferable prick.

The morning shifts to afternoon and Laura goes stir crazy trying to keep herself busy. First she cleans the kitchen (Sweeney had made a mess) and then she goes through the library, this time with a fine eye. Picking out all that she can find on Egyptian mythology.

Truthfully, she just skims. The names are complicated in different tongues, none of which she can get her dead one around. Each entry is miles longs with histories that extend not just to Egypt but to Greek and Rome. Of the resurgences and connections to more modern ideals, basically making her unable to read more than a handful of paragraphs.

She was a shit student, okay?

Afterwards does her best to find something to wear, just because she's dead doesn't mean she likes wearing week old pants.

It was only by luck that Ostara's height and body shape was similar enough to her own that she could borrow an outfit or two. The goddess had offered earlier to help pick things out for her, but Laura worried that it would be extra frilly pink monsters. Like the kind her mother used to set out for her on Sunday mornings for church. All pastel colors with seas of lace and flowers, that only succeeded to wash her out. The kind she’d never be caught dead in.

Which is why it’s worth a laugh at, since it’s exactly the kind she was buried in.

In the end, she doesn't find a lot that suits her tasted, just a pair of dark fitted jeans and a few plain colored t-shirts, that still have the tags on them. She slips on a deep blue one and looks down, it manages to just cover her open chest stitches.

Another thing she attempts to fix on her own.

This time goes a little better than the first, the angle not as awkward as her shoulder. It helps that Ostara's needles are thinner than Aubrey's, and the thread finer but Laura has never been gifted with sewing.

She was good with her hands in other ways, with the smooth flex of cards and coins. Needle work had always been beyond her, those were the skills of her mother and grandmother. She remembers watching them stitch flowers, cute little sayings and mermaids with shiny tails. They recreated famous art pieces, of medieval maidens begging for love and Greek heroes slaying monsters, every fairy tale she had ever heard had been stitched into neat little pillows. Every delicate detail perfectly etched by hand, needle and thread.

The stitches she makes now, don’t even come close. They are uneven and crooked, the dead skin she punctures the needle through bunches up and makes it look like the work of a child compared to the beautiful thick straight lines of the god of death's skilled work. Anubis would probably laugh at her attempt to copy his work at all.

Laura traces them both, and looks at herself in the mirror.

Shit, she is starting to look like a fucked up Raggedy Ann doll.

By six in the afternoon, Laura is done waiting.

Any longer and she is going to start foaming at the mouth. She has given him enough space to get over his weirdness, a lot more than she normally would.

Her search doesn't take long, her feet leading her to him in record time. She is only mildly surprised to find him passed out on a grand king sized bed with several empty bottles of booze. Only surprised in that he still has pants on and there is no sign of vomit on him.

For a second she almost decides to shove him off the bed or perhaps pull the sheets out from under him…but then she looks again and stops.

He is shining.

Not blinding like Shadow, who seemed to vanish under the furious glory and fire of a sun being born. This is altogether softer, his skin seems to shimmer and move. Soaking up the natural light of the setting sun peaking through the blinds. Making every inch of him glitter like gold.

She is touching him before she even realizes she has moved. Climbing into the bed carefully as she can, so not to wake him, she crawls forward on hands and knees. Until she is poised above him, staring down at his sleeping face.

The second her finger comes in contact with the skin of his cheek, she loses any grace to back out of this easily. Just one touch has her gasping, the same spark of lightning hits her again, just as strong as the last time. Maybe even harder because now she can chase it.

Laura's thumb strokes the surprisingly soft hair of his beard, followed by the rest of her fingers drifting down and giving into that long ignored urge of tracing his jaw line.

The longer she touches, the warmer she feels and it makes her nearly sick, the slow push of something white hot and slick being poured into her dry veins.

Like a balloon being filled to the brim, it hurts to feel the pressure building but the heat of it all only makes her ache for more.

Under her touch Sweeney sighs softly, still asleep but seeking her out until his head is resting against her palm and his whole body is radiating delicious warmth into her own.

An insane thought crosses her mind to curl herself around him, to just give in completely and hug him. Or kiss him, Sleeping Beauty style. And just like that, the slow push ache turns into a flood of actual desire. She would melt, wouldn't she?

But in a way that would feel amazing, a little voice inside her says.

The only thing stopping her is the fact she knows if she dares, and he wakes up, she will never hear the end of it. And then she might accidently-on-purpose murder him, and then what she will she do?

So she pulls back the touch, despite her bones screaming at her to not and not so gently shoves him -right off the bed.

“FUCK!”

“Wake up Sleeping Beauty. We have a road trip to start.”

#madwife #mad wife #mad sweeney #laura moon #mad sweeney x laura moon #madwife fic

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that-curly-haired-lesbian · 6 years

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The Seven Husbands Of Evelyn Hugo + Taylor Swift: a master post - Part 5/6

Hi guys, welcome to part 5 of my masterpost regarding parallels between Taylor Swift and Evelyn Hugo, the fictional actress from the book The Seven Husbands Of Evelyn Hugo by author Taylor Jenkins Reid!

Before proceeding please be aware that there will be

**MAJOR SPOILERS**

for the book ahead and please also read my disclaimer!

It’s very important that you read these in order so if you haven’t yet go ahead and check out the previous part right here, thank you and enjoy!

“And then she calmly, confidently took my hand. I bristled, unsure if we should be touching in public, scared of what people would do. But the rest of the people on the street just kept on walking, kept on living their lives, almost entirely unaware or uninterested in the two famous women holding hands on the sidewalk.” (Pg. 234)

Admittedly not holding hands here, but this was actually the first thing that came into my head when I read the scene above…Here are some actual pictures of the girls holding hands in public though:

“We went out to dinner in public, the four of us looking like two pairs of heterosexuals, without a heterosexual in the bunch.” (Pg. 234)

This is once again Evelyn talking about their foursome of beards during the New York years and I believe this is something akin to what Taylor and Karlie were hoping to have with Josh and Joe/Tom (or whoever Taylor was meant to beard with long-term) pre-election disaster, hence that retrospectively embarrassing pap walk of Josh with Austin as a way to try and integrate Josh into to Taylor’s social circle so that her, her beard and Karlie and Josh could become “America’s favorite double daters” (as Evelyn describes it)

Obviously with the election turning out as it did Team Swift quickly reworked the plan.

Pages 234-238 is Evelyn talking of the Stonewall riots and how she remembers those days and there are specific parts of it that are interesting from a Gaylor/Kaylor point of view.

“Harry and I campaigned for Bobby Kennedy. Celia posed with Vietnam protesters on the cover of ‘Effect’. John was a vocal supporter of the civil rights movement and I had been a very public supporter of the work of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.” (x) (x)

“This was our people. And here they were, revolting against the police, in the name of their right to be themselves. While I was sitting in a golden prison of my own making.”

Gold cage, hostage to my feelings (x)

Evelyn, Celia, Harry and John discuss going to participate in the Stonewall riots, wishing they could be a part of this, of fighting for their own people, but ultimately Harry explains why they can’t best when he says:

“We go down there all we do is attract attention away from the cause and towards us. The story becomes about whether we are homosexuals and not about the rights of homosexuals.”

Still wanting to help make a difference the gang discuss how they best can help and come to the conclusion that their best contribution is funding.

Evelyn says about it all:

“Because of who I was, because of the sacrifices I made to hide parts of myself, I was able to give more money than most people ever see in their entire lifetime. I am proud of that. But it does not mean that I wasn’t conflicted. And of course, a lot of the time that ambivalence was even more personal than it was political. I knew it was imperative that I hide, and yet I did not believe I should have to. But accepting that something is true isn’t the same as thinking that it is just.”

Remember kids, closeted does not mean ashamed! Taylor accepting that she has to beard does not mean she likes it or even supports the practice. She uses her voice and her money to stand up for the LGBT+ community continuously and that in itself is a brave act for someone who is so deeply closeted!!

On page 241 Evelyn refers to herself as “the sort of person who liked being extravagant and absurd.” Basically she’s saying she was extra af™ which just sort of reminded me of how we often comment on how extra™ Taylor is with her hints and teases and it also reminded me of that time Taylor sarcastically referred to herself as “a very subtle person” The two quotes have the same energy if you will!

On Evelyn’s birthday the gang goes out to dinner and Celia makes a small “happy birthday, I love you”-type speech which was reminiscent of the birthday posts, sweet! (pg. 242)

(one of many of course)

“’You love me?’ She said. ‘Oh my God, what an understatement,’ I told her. ‘You love me so much you can’t see straight?’” (Pg. 245)

Too in love to think straight……………

Years after they last saw each other Evelyn meets back up with her abusive ex-husband, Don (one out of only two of her husbands who wasn’t a beard) when she’s put in a situation where the two of them have to do a movie together.

“‘I know it doesn’t make up for what I did to you,’ he said.

‘Good,’ I said. ‘Because it really doesn’t.’

‘But I hope it might make you feel a little better,’ he said, ‘to know that I know I was wrong, I know you deserved better, and I’m working every day to be a better man.’

‘Well, it’s awfully late now,’ I said. ‘You being a better man does nothing for me.’ (Pg. 256)

I wonder what we would’ve becomeeeee If you were a better mannnnn We might still be in loveeeee If you were a better mannnnn You would’ve been the onoooooe If you were a better mannnnnn

*The rest of Better Man plays softly in background*

On page 164 Evelyn gives Celia a bouquet of lilies which happens to be Karlie’s favorite flowers, Celia calls the flowers Gorgeous

When Celia finds out that Evelyn filmed a sex scene with her ex-husband without telling her she’s so upset she threatens to leave again, Evelyn’s reaction:

“I sobbed. And I pleaded. And I groveled, desperately, on my knees, having long ago learned the lesson that you have to throw yourself at the mercy of the things you truly want.” (Pg. 267)

If you walked away I’d beg you on my knees to stay

The scene on pages 267-268 where Evelyn begs Celia to take her back has major How You Get The Girl/Delicate/Don’t Blame Me vibes…It’s too long to quote, but I dare you to go read it and tell me I’m wrong!

“’I made people money. No one turns away money. They were all too happy to get me in their movies and then talk about me behind my back.’” (Pg. 270)

Evelyn says this after discussing the rampant slut-shaming of her following her many marriages and her 1970’s film 3AM which people deemed both unbecoming of a lady and unfeminist. She goes on to point out the duality of her image, while studios acknowledge that “sex sells” and therefore want Evelyn in their movies due to the audience pull she has they also slut shame her for her numerous marriages and choices in roles. When Monique points out that this eventually turned out fine as people these days praise Evelyn for her role in the film Evelyn points out:

“’It’s all fine in hindsight,’ […] ‘Except that I spent years with a scarlet A on my chest,’ […]” (Pg. 270)

Does the phrase “a scarlet A” sound familiar? Well, I bet ya:

You were Romeo I was a scarlet letter

and

We show off our different scarlet letters

Trust me, mine is better

Also sound familiar, right? In several of my queer analyses of Taylor’s songs I bring up the fact that “scarlet letter” refers not only to the literal scarlet A on main character Hester’s clothes, but also to the concept of sin in Nathaniel Hawthorne’s 1850 novel The Scarlet Letter. (x) (x) (x)

I continue to point out that I think Taylor uses the concept of the scarlet letter as sin to refer to her (in the eyes of the entertainment industry) scandalous secret homosexuality, the “celebrity sin” she’s guilty of.

Evelyn uses the analogy here to refer to her own status as “a sex pot” (her words, pg. 269) in Hollywood. She says that she is a “sex pot” of Hollywood’s own creation not only by the increasingly sexually charged roles she took on during the 70’s but also because of the numerous husbands the industry forced her to take as to not be outed. By forcing bearding on her the industry opened the doors for the constant slut shaming directed at Evelyn and I feel the industry has done much the same to Taylor. The recent for the slut-shaming she’s had to endure is (like Evelyn) the numerous men she’s dated, but she only did that to hide the truth of her (far fewer) true (gay) relationships. Considering my previous points on Taylor and the scarlet-letter/sin-metaphor I thought Evelyn’s use of the analogy here interesting and noteworthy. It is of course interesting too, that the movie for which Evelyn received the most scrutiny and shaming happens to be called 3AM, we all know that Taylor mentions 2AM rather frequently in her songs about love, which are of course where she has received the most scrutiny, her songs and all the “numerous boys” they are supposedly about. I pointed out this similarity between Evelyn’s movie title and a frequent motif in Taylor’s music earlier in this analysis, but thought it was worth pointing out 3AM as a possible blanket-metaphor for Taylor’s music within the context of this book yet again.

“I broke Celia’s heart because I spent half my time loving her and the other half hiding how much I loved her.” (Pg. 271)

Sometimes when I look into your eyes I pretend you’re mine all the damn time

Your love is a secret I’m hoping, dreaming, dying to keep

“I loved Celia and I shared my truth only with Celia.” (pg. 271)

Even in my worst light, you saw the truth in me

Just like Evelyn Taylor is saying that even when her public reputation is bad and also very far from the actual true narrative of her life Karlie is the one that actually knows the truth and the only one she can share the full extent of that truth with.

“I did a lot of things that hurt a lot of people and I’d do them all again if I had to.” (Pg. 172)

Those are Evelyn’s words and yet all I can hear are Taylor’s…

Theeeeeey say I did something BAD […] And I'd do it over and over and over again if I coUUUUld

“I had very little energy left to try to hide who we were. I had learned all too well that pain is sometimes stronger than the need to keep up appearances.” (Pg. 274)

It would seem that in the Reputation era Taylor too has very little energy left to try and hide, she has previously learnt all too well what keeping up appearances can cost you.

Thanks so much for reading, check out part 6, the finale!

#tshoeh #tshoeh spoilers #the seven husbands of evelyn hugo #gaylor swift #kaylor #masterpost

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beca-mitchell · 6 years

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Aubrey Posen's Guide to Using Social Media Effectively

summary: Aubrey learns that knowledge isn’t always power. In fact, she’d like to forget that she ever believed that.

aka this is an Aubrey-centric fic in which Aubrey learns that Beca and Chloe are seeing each other through various social media and how she deals with this.

word count: 6.5k

author’s note: Happy birthday @velmster!!!

Thank you for keeping me somewhat calm when we met bsnow. Thank you for helping me write my Pitch Perfect lectures. And thank you for being an incredible friend. I know how much you were looking forward to this story, so I really wanted to make sure it was finished for your bday!

For everybody else, this story is based on a true story about how I found out my roommate and best friend were dating each other. Some embellishments here and there, but otherwise, yes I am crazy.

Also on AO3.

“Let your plans be dark and impenetrable as night, and when you move, fall like a thunderbolt.”

- Sun Tzu, The Art of War

Aubrey Posen dislikes social media.

It’s not that she’s old, it’s more that she just doesn’t get it. Every day, it seems like a new social media network is created and Aubrey has pretty much only just figured out how to make a Bitmoji for her Snapchat account.

It’s mildly irritating that Chloe spends most of her time on one social media platform or another, flitting between her laptop and phone and persistently attempting to show Aubrey cute photos of corgis.

Well, she doesn’t dislike the content, it’s just that social media seems like a really difficult thing to keep up with and she has to worry about not flunking out of her MBA program.

Her buzzing phone jolts her out of her musings.

Instagram: chloebeale has sent you a video.

Knowing Chloe, it’s probably a meme, a topical video, or just a cute fluffy video of a corgi or a pug. Somehow, Chloe still manages to suss out when she’s feeling down because the videos tend to be on point with everything she’s going through at the moment.

She supposes just one more Instagram video of a corgi lying on its back won’t hurt.

Living with Chloe after Barden only makes sense. By the time Chloe finally graduates from university, Aubrey is done with managing the lodge and wanting to pursue something a bit more prestigious again.

They somehow both end up in New York, though Chloe has started working for an advertising agency and Aubrey has started school at NYU. Aubrey recalls that living with Chloe for their first year of Bellas co-captaincy had only been natural - as much as it had been a necessity. They weren’t allowed to have the Bellas house all to themselves because their entire team would be primarily first years. Without the allure of having a full team, student government had elected to allocate their treasured house to yet another sorority on campus.

Back then, Aubrey immediately shot down Chloe’s idea to join the sorority. Instead, she got to work and found a cute two-bedroom townhouse, small enough for the two of them and yet large enough that she doesn’t necessarily have to see Chloe’s things encroaching on her personal space.

If Aubrey’s being honest, Chloe’s ‘things’ might be a misnomer.

The absolute parade of people she’s seen (and heard, on many occasions) leaving Chloe’s room in previous years? That might be more accurate. It had admittedly stopped when Chloe set her eyes on one Beca Mitchell in the fall of 2011 and Aubrey saw significantly less people leaving their comfortable little townhouse. Instead, she saw more of Beca Mitchell than she would have liked back then, absolutely pestering Chloe with her latest music innovations or whatever the hell she called them.

And the next year, Chloe stayed back at Barden for another year with Bellas (read: Beca), she helped Chloe wrangle their treasured Bellas house back from the sorority and the rest is history.

Now, in New York City, freshly graduated, Aubrey has a little trouble finding something as cozy considering rent prices in New York City and the budget they’re both working with. She finds a nice two-bedroom (read: two-closet) apartment in East Village, with a functioning bathroom, kitchen,and , thank God, a working dishwasher. It’s a steal, even if Aubrey had flirted a little with the landlord and his wife to get a good price.

It’s a steal and she doesn’t have to share a bedroom with Chloe. She won’t have to hear Titanium for the millionth time.

Ultimately, Chloe is a good roommate. She picks up after herself. She cooks. She cleans.

(Aubrey has heard nightmarish stories from Chloe about what it had been like when Beca and Fat Amy shared a room in the Bellas’ house.)

The thing about Chloe is that she really has no sense of personal space. She enjoys shoving her phone into Aubrey’s face to show her a funny text or a cute image. She’ll ask Aubrey loudly and inappropriately whether she needs more tampons halfway down the aisle in the supermarket. She tries to braid Aubrey’s hair sometimes when they’re both lazily waiting for their laundry in the dingy laundromat - emphasis on tries . She sets Aubrey up on about five blind dates only their third month into living together in Manhattan.

In fact, Chloe’s fairly infuriating because she does all these things without asking and never wants anything in return. She never talks about her own feelings - the ones that Aubrey has to draw out of her with painstaking precision. In fact, Aubrey sometimes worries that her obsession with Beca Mitchell might be getting out of hand. Aubrey tries to remind Chloe that Beca isn’t so bad without her ear monstrosities and that maybe Beca just needs time to see the light (read: Chloe), like she did with her ear piercings.

Chloe just smiles and asks her whether she wants to get McDonalds for dinner.

Aubrey would never ask for another best friend.

“You know what you should do? Download Tinder, Bree. I’m sure the selection here is much better than Georgia.”

“No.”

(She downloads Tinder.

It is admittedly not horrible.

She ignores the smug look Chloe shoots her.)

Aubrey should have seen it coming, in retrospect. There’s something about Beca Mitchell that makes Chloe completely lose her mind whenever they come within touching distance of each other. Aubrey can’t recall Chloe ever being so touchy with anybody else, especially not when she vehemently reassures Aubrey that they’re “just friends, besides Beca is seeing Jesse.”

It’s weak and they both know it, but Aubrey supposes that the fixation on Beca means that Aubrey will get some peace and quiet in their apartment for the time being.

Until one day, Beca is very much single. It’s not even news that comes directly from the woman herself since Beca pretty much moved immediately to Los Angeles after graduating to pursue the first label that offered her a job. No, the news comes from Fat Amy who actively updates their group’s Facebook chat with whatever gossip she can find...usually about the Bellas themselves.

It’s actually kind of deja-vu, seeing the hurricane that has seemingly gone through her home. Aubrey comes home to a mess of crumpled-up pieces of paper and about five empty cans of cider.

“Oh, Chloe,” she murmurs, reaching for the blanket draped over the back of the couch.

Sitting with Chloe on the couch while she sleeps restlessly? That’s kind of deja-vu as well.

Instagram: chloebeale has sent you a photo.

It’s a photo of Jesse with his arm around a woman’s shoulder.

chloebeale: i can’t believe he moved on already!!!!!

Aubrey scowls, typing back. She doesn’t understand how she has five separate conversations going on with Chloe. Can’t she stick to just one account?

aubreyposen: You’re literally in the living room. You couldn’t have shown this to me in person?

aubreyposen: why don’t you message Beca if this is bothering you so much?

An hour later, Aubrey notices the Seen receipt and suspicious lack of reply from Chloe.

Aubrey finds out that Beca is actually living in New York before Chloe does. It’s only because she bumps into her at their local Trader Joe’s and is about to berate Beca for not knowing how to use her eyes when she realizes-

“Beca?”

“Aubrey?”

Aubrey is pleased to note that Beca looks mildly terrified of her in that moment, but she can’t quite dispel the warmth that rises up when she sees her friend. She had missed Beca, despite all her original reservations about her.

“I’m going to hug you now,” Beca states, somewhat awkwardly before proceeding to do so. When she pulls back, she looks equally astounded. “Wow, what the hell? This is crazy. I didn’t know you’d be here.”

“In this Trader Joe’s?”

Beca laughs at that, shaking her head. “No, I just meant...here, I guess. Manhattan.”

“How would you? You never message us.”

The mild terror is back in Beca’s eyes, alongside a glimmer of genuine regret and sadness.

“I thought I knew what…” Beca trails off, looking absently at her full cart. “How is Chloe?” she asks, lowering her voice. “I never…”

In a sympathetic streak, Aubrey shakes her head, stopping that difficult line of thought. “Why don’t we set up a kind of reunion dinner or something? Get more Bellas down here.”

Beca brightens and relaxes at that. Aubrey takes the opportunity to critique Beca’s choice in fresh produce.

There’s nothing quite like a Bellas party, even if the entire evening had been hijacked by Fat Amy. Somehow, she manages to wrangle them all into a party near Columbia.

“Do you go here?” Aubrey asks. She realizes that she’s not exactly sure what Amy is doing in New York. They had kept in contact sparsely over the years, but Aubrey knows stuff about Amy mostly through Chloe’s updates over the years.

“No, not really,” Amy answers vaguely. Aubrey doesn’t bother pursuing that. “Hey, do you think Beca and Chloe will finally figure it out?”

“Figure what out?” Aubrey asks absently.

There’s a long silence while Amy drinks from her cup, watching her carefully. Aubrey waits, raising an eyebrow in response to Amy’s silence. Amy finishes her entire drink first before saying “never mind.”

Aubrey shrugs and squints through the darkness. She still feels a protective streak flare up in her at the thought of her teammates, even though she’s long been off the Bellas’ team. She takes in how far they’ve come - how distant and precious their years at Barden seem now, compared to everything. She is so grateful for the experience. Even though these are mostly Chloe’s friends, if anything, Aubrey feels like there’s definitely a connection and bond with this set of Bellas - one that’s stronger than ever before. She begrudgingly attributes it to Beca’s hand in reshaping the Bellas, and though she’d love to maintain that she finds Beca irritating about 90% of the time, she knows how untrue it is and how much she considers Beca a friend.

Looking back up, Aubrey scans the crowd again, relaxing against the cushions of the couch, which she has deemed the perfect vantage point.

She pauses.

She thinks she sees Chloe grabbing Beca’s hand and pulling her out onto the makeshift dance floor and Beca’s expression indicates mild protest and discomfort, but she follows obligingly. Aubrey thinks she sees this because they disappear as quickly as it happens.

She actually doesn’t think too much of it until much later. She sees what appears to be Beca and Chloe in a heated argument on the couch she had once been sitting on, now haphazardly pushed to the side. They are angled towards each other with a familiar comfort emanating from both of them.

“-didn’t mean it! God, Beca,” Chloe is exclaiming - loud enough for Aubrey to hear as she passes on the way to the kitchen.

She wonders if it was a mistake, introducing Beca back into Chloe’s life so soon after her break-up with Jesse. She stops walking and hovers near the doorway, trying to look as nonchalant as possible.

Aubrey watches the tension rise and fall in Chloe’s shoulders, the way she turns her body towards Beca. She can no longer hear their conversation, but she watches anyway because a part of her kind of wishes they’d figure it out and - oh , that’s what Amy meant.

Aubrey wonders if Chloe will finally leap at this very perfect opportunity to reveal her ever-growing feelings for Beca. It’s a constant back and forth between them. Aubrey had been mildly interested in this fixation back when they had first met Beca, but now she’s kind of tired and wishes they’d just get their crap together.

Aubrey doesn’t see them for the rest of the night, but she might have been fairly distracted by the competitive karaoke game going down between Flo and a few other students.

“I think you’re right,” Aubrey tells Amy the next day. She hands Amy a bottle of Advil and a water bottle. “About Beca and Chloe.”

“Of course I’m right,” Amy mumbles. “Hey, can you go grab me a burger from Shake Shack?”

Chloe (4:41 p.m.) I’m gonna be visiting my parents this weekend in Portland! Don’t wait up ;)

Aubrey (4:50 p.m.) Say hi for me! Also, we’re rescheduling movie night.

Chloe (4:51 p.m.) Totes!

It’s not uncommon for Chloe to visit her parents. She did fairly frequently while they were in school together. The quiet weekend means Aubrey can tackle that case study that had been evading her focus for the past few days and she can work on a few other assignments she wants to get out of the way.

She’s about a quarter through an assignment when she gets a text.

(Fat) Amy (5:29 p.m.) the big bm is away for the weekend. Want to hang?

Aubrey considers that heavily. She waits an hour before replying.

Aubrey (6:34 p.m.) Sure.

Aubrey (6:34 p.m.) Also, stop calling her that

Hanging out with Amy is kind of fun, Aubrey supposes, so long as she takes everything with a grain of salt. She lets Amy tell her about her part-time job as a mail courier and makes it a point to ignore her stories about her more peculiar clients and their oddities. She tuned out after the story about a man with long toenails and tries to ensure her dinner stays down.

Aubrey finally focuses when Amy says, seemingly out of the blue, “So, how are we getting Beca and Chloe to admit their feelings for each other?”

She considers denying it or feigning confusion.

It’s tempting because Aubrey has always enjoyed a good scheme, but she doesn’t want to interfere too much, knowing that Chloe will likely want her privacy on this front. “Aren’t they figuring stuff out themselves?” she asks.

Fat Amy scoffs. “Please. Your hair is going to be grey before they actually sort everything out. We need to give them that little push.”

It’s already sounding better than working on tedious assignments, but Aubrey’s still cautious. “We shouldn’t meddle,” she says half-heartedly. “We really shouldn’t.”

She receives a glare in response. “We definitely should,” Amy retorts.

Well, Aubrey doesn’t know how to disagree with that. “What’s the plan? We need a plan.”

Instagram: @becamitchell has posted for the first time in a while. Check out their post!

Aubrey frowns at this very specific notification. Why has Instagram deemed this as important material? That seems invasive - both to her and Beca. She opens it regardless and tilts her head, trying to suss out what exactly it is that Beca posted. It’s a photo of Coney Island with the sunset in the background.

She notices that Chloe has already liked the post. She shakes her head. Chloe’s addiction to social media will always evade her understanding.

(Fat) Amy (2:57 p.m.) SHE LIKED HER POST!!!!

Aubrey (2:57 p.m.) Calm down, she likes everybody’s posts.

That is true, as far as Aubrey is aware. Chloe likes everybody’s Instagram posts. It’s not really that which is most interesting to Aubrey. There is something more interesting about the fact that Beca had apparently been at Coney Island all day, especially since Aubrey distinctly recalls that Chloe mentioned she had been planning to go over the weekend.

Aubrey (3:01 p.m.) Do you know if Beca went with anybody to Coney Island?

(Fat) Amy (3:03 p.m.) No, she never tells me anything.

Aubrey (3:03 p.m.) understandable.

If Aubrey knew that scheming with Amy meant reactivating her Facebook account, she would have declined immediately.

“Do I just create a Facebook group or something?” Aubrey asks, frowning at her phone. “Why can’t we just text them and tell them we’re having a movie night at our place?”

“What era are you from?” Amy demands. “Just make a Facebook event. I know Beca needs her entire life scheduled or she’ll never show up to anything.”

Aubrey grumbles and sets up a Facebook event. “It’s literally just going to be the four of us,” she mutters. “This is so unnecessary.”

“Fine,” Amy exclaims. “Let’s invite the rest of the Bellas.”

“Amy, no!”

Her cry is to no avail as Amy immediately invites the Bellas and a few other people whose names Aubrey can’t quite recognize at first glance. Aubrey’s first thought is how their landlord is going to receive a few complaints over the weekend because of course Amy would somehow turn a small gathering into an impromptu party.

She sighs, mentally doing calculations in her head as to how much food she should buy as well as how many drinks she’ll need to get.

“This is going to be amazing, Aubrey. I’m so happy you agreed to this.”

She tacks on a couple extra drinks to her mental list because she’s sure she’ll need it.

Leading up to the movie night in question - an event that once only belonged to Aubrey and Chloe - Aubrey tries to figure out if Chloe and Beca are still talking to each other.

Chloe has been quieter and more reserved recently, though she cites stress from her job as the primary reason.

There’s a part of her that knows instinctively that Chloe likely had some kind of falling out with Beca, or maybe she’s mulling over her own feelings, but Aubrey just wishes Chloe would open up to her.

“Chloe?” she tries tentatively one evening while they’re scarfing down take-out from their favourite Chinese restaurant.

Chloe glances up at her from where she’s reading text messages on her phone. It’s a bit too far that Aubrey can’t quite see who she’s texting. “Yeah, what’s up, Bree?” Chloe asks, clicking her phone off casually.

“You’d...tell me if you were seeing somebody, right?”

There is a very brief pause, but a pause nonetheless.

Then, Chloe, as quiet as Aubrey has ever heard her, murmurs “yes,” softly. “I would.”

“That’s good to know.”

Aubrey lets it go for the moment. She has assignments to worry about and this damned Bellas party.

Chloe is ridiculously excited about the movie night extravaganza Aubrey and Amy planned. They somehow manage to wrangle 12 women into their tiny apartment, with enough seating (most of it improvised) for everybody.

They opt to watch horror movies, starting with It . Aubrey is not sure whose brilliant idea this is, but she feels like it could be either Lilly’s or Amy’s.

Aubrey grumbles as she retrieves another roll of paper towels from underneath the sink. Amy has somehow spilled her third drink of the night - none of which have been her own drinks.

Aubrey notes that Chloe isn’t being particularly helpful either because she’s immersed in a conversation with Beca on the loveseat - the most comfortable seat in their apartment currently. Chloe has her arm casually draped around the back of the couch to play with strands of Beca’s hair and Beca seems to either not notice or not care , but it’s then that Aubrey realizes that it’s neither . Beca is enjoying it if the smile on her face is any indication.

God, they’re dating, Aubrey thinks, resisting the urge to point at them and yell out her triumph.

Instead, she tilts her head, observing in silence.

They’re sharing a blanket too, which Chloe brought out from her room. Neither of them notices anything about the movie that’s playing and it’s dark enough that Aubrey only catches glimpses from time to time of their expressions.

It’s enough to see that Chloe has never quite looked so happy and Beca has never quite looked so relaxed.

The next time Aubrey glances at them, Beca has seemingly fallen asleep, completely pressed into Chloe’s side with her head tilted onto her shoulder. Chloe isn’t bothering to watch the movie at all even though her conversation partner has knocked out. Instead, she watches Beca, eyes trained on her the whole time.

Aubrey can’t help but smile even if it briefly hurts her that Chloe evidently didn’t bother telling her about this little development at all.

Mostly because it’s such a significant development in her best friend’s life.

(Aubrey is ridiculously happy for her. And Beca too.)

While sitting next to Chloe on their couch, Aubrey tries to focus on reading her textbook, but she finds her eyes drawn to Chloe’s phone because it continues to vibrate with a new message every two seconds.

Chancing a glance at her best friend, she sees the slow smile spread across Chloe’s face - a smile that is so smitten and grossly cute that it makes Aubrey shudder because she knows who Chloe is talking to without having to see the messages.

When Chloe gets up to retrieve their mail from downstairs, Aubrey bites her lip before pressing the button on Chloe’s phone. She sees a slew of messages from Beca. Except, it’s not just ‘Beca’. Chloe has changed her name on messenger to read as “grumpy becs” followed by three emojis: a blue heart, a raincloud, and a star.

The messages themselves are all the more incriminating, if the display name change weren’t enough.

Beca I miss you

Beca Just thought you should know or whatever

Beca When can I see you again?

That alone is enough to make Aubrey sit back firmly and contemplate. She vaguely wonders how long this has been going on - how long Chloe has been hiding this from her.

She wonders when Chloe will just tell her.

Her plan evolves.

Aubrey attempts to set Chloe up on a few dates, just to test the waters. She does so right in front of Beca. She’s really just testing the limits of Beca and Chloe’s strength because she still can’t quite believe that they’ve been hiding this from her for so long.

It was kind of cute at the beginning, now Aubrey is wondering how long it’ll take for either of them to crack. It’s like a fun game, sometimes.

Today, they’re enjoying brunch in Brooklyn. It had originally been Aubrey and Chloe’s pre-arranged brunch, but Chloe had tentatively asked Aubrey if Beca could come along because she was “feeling down from her job” and “we should totally show her this brunch place, Bree!”

Aubrey had agreed because she kind of just wanted to put Beca on the spot again. It’s a little fun to watch them both squirm.

“Chloe,” Aubrey states, primly folding her napkin. She waits until both Chloe and Beca have taken sips of their mimosas. “I would like to set you up on a date with one of my classmates.”

Chloe looks mildly curious, which is fine.

It’s Beca’s reaction that almost cracks Aubrey’s facade. She chokes on her drink and turns to Aubrey with wide eyes, like she can’t quite believe what she’s just heard.

“You would?” Chloe asks at the same time Beca asks, rather loudly, “Why?”

“I would,” Aubrey agrees, ignoring Beca. “I just think you’ve been single for so long. Not that you need somebody to make you happy. Just. Something to take your mind off things because I know how stressed you’ve been at work.”

“You’ve been stressed?” Beca asks, so softly that Aubrey momentarily forgets that she’s sitting across from Beca Mitchell. The amount of tenderness in Beca’s eyes directed straight at Chloe is kind of alarming if Aubrey didn’t already know they were in some kind of relationship.

“No, just,” Chloe sighs. She directs her attention fully to Beca. “A little. It’s just some personal things going on right now.”

Aubrey decides to let up on her line of questioning and drinks some water, watching them carefully. She decides not to bring it up again, feeling only more certain that they are dating , like officially.

When she gets up to go to the washroom, she can hear Chloe and Beca begin to whisper to each other, catching the tail end of their conversation: “-tell her?”

Aubrey smiles triumphantly.

“What made you bring that up today?” Chloe asks quietly, when they’re doing some weekend cleaning.

Aubrey frowns, focusing on a coffee stain plastered on their counter. She is sure she didn’t see this just a week ago and Chloe doesn’t drink coffee.

(Aubrey also knows that she always uses coasters and cleans up after herself.)

“What did I say?” Aubrey murmurs.

“About setting me up with somebody.”

Aubrey straightens, eyebrow rising slowly. “Chloe,” she starts.

“I’m happy right now,” Chloe says, not allowing her to finish. She fiddles nervously. “I can tell you that much. I appreciate the offer, but no.”

It warms Aubrey’s heart somewhat, when she notes the sincerity in Chloe’s tone. She can’t help the smile that rises on her lips and she nods encouragingly at Chloe to continue.

She wants to hear all about it - she wants to hear how happy Chloe is and how far they’ve come.

“Okay,” Aubrey says slowly. “You’re happy.”

Chloe bites her lip, looking like she’s about two seconds away from spilling everything. Aubrey restrains herself from excitedly wringing the cloth in her hands.

“I’m happy,” Chloe says after a moment, shrugging a little.

When she catches Aubrey staring at her, she smiles, a little apologetically and hurriedly returns to vacuuming.

Aubrey sighs.

She’ll accept that for now.

(She is so happy for Chloe.)

Amy sighs, stretching out completely on the couch and leaving a little place for Aubrey to perch herself at the end. “If only there were a way to see where they were at all times.”

Aubrey agrees absentmindedly, feeling like there’s something that she’s missing - maybe something that she has completely overlooked.

“Oh, hey, look. Beca’s in DUMBO.”

“That’s nice,” Aubrey replies. Something buzzes through her body. It feels like excitement. Maybe anxiety. Maybe indigestion from Amy’s food.

Vaguely she recalls that Chloe said she’d be away all weekend for an office retreat in -

She pauses.

In Brooklyn.

She latches onto it because she had given Chloe a little shit for it when she heard about it. She hadn’t understood why Chloe opted for separate lodging in Brooklyn when she had a perfectly good home in Manhattan, but now ...

Aubrey scrambles for her phone, nearly leaping clear over the couch and dislodging Amy in the process.

“Where are you going?” Amy calls, peeking over the couch. “Washroom?”

“No,” Aubrey says briskly. “Even better.” She swipes open her phone, navigating to Snapchat like Chloe once instructed her. Opening it, she sees missed notifications from a number of people, including Chloe.

It takes her about an entire minute to click through all of the missed photos and videos from Chloe when she finally gets to one from just half an hour ago. A vague photo from somewhere that looks like it could be Brooklyn, but it’s not quite discernable to Aubrey.

She furrows her brow before pinching her fingers on the screen, enabling the map function.

She’ll never get over how creepy this is, but she’s is suddenly immensely grateful for it.

She notices that Chloe’s Bitmoji is back in what Aubrey assumes to be her Airbnb.

“This is the most useful thing that Snapchat has ever done,” Amy mutters as they stare at the little circle enclosing both Beca and Chloe’s tiny figures in the same space.

“They’re together!” Aubrey yells. “They’re in the same place! That’s what that means, right?”

Amy is nodding vigorously. “Yeah! Should we go over there now?’ She’s already grabbing her shoes from the front door.

Aubrey’s arm flies out. “No, no. We should…” She can’t stop the grin that stretches across her face. “We should send them a Snapchat.”

“Uh, what? Why?”

“So we can be sure. Amy, you don’t understand. She was so close to telling me. Maybe this will be the exact guilt trip she needs to finally tell me!”

It had not been the guilt trip Chloe needed.

She sent back a few selfies. Beca ignored Aubrey’s Snaps mostly, but at least it updated their locations frequently enough that Aubrey could tell exactly where they were all weekend.

Aubrey diligently keeps track of all their movements with this newfound power.

On Saturday, they spent most of the morning inside, before Chloe seemingly met up with other friends or coworkers for a few hours while Beca wandered around DUMBO again.

Then, they went for dinner at a place Aubrey had been dying to try.

Then, a movie.

Aubrey is shocked at how much information she suddenly has at her disposal. She feels simultaneously torn between continuing to keep this information from Chloe or just revealing all her cards at once.

She discusses this properly with Amy while they’re at Pinkberry on Sunday evening. Aubrey is expecting Chloe to return home soon, but her action plan has yet to be completed.

“Do we tell them we know?” Fat Amy asks as she continues piling toppings in her cup. "Oh, this is like that episode of FRIENDS. Excellent.”

“We?” Aubrey questions.

“Yeah, we’re partners in crime. Practically sisters.”

Aubrey shrugs at that. “Well, I’m thinking of just asking Chloe if she’s hiding something for me.”

“How well did that work out for you last time?”

Aubrey scowls at her friend. “She’ll tell me. I have all the evidence I need.”

“Ah, so you’re going to ambush her. You're an amazing best friend.”

“I’m going to gently nudge her,” Aubrey says delicately. She turns on her phone, navigating to her notes. “I have proof that she and Beca have been going on secret dates for at least the past three months. Maybe more.”

“Well, how are you going to bring it up?”

“I’m going to casually bring up all the places she was today.”

“Casual,” Amy agrees.

Aubrey opens Snapchat, wondering where Chloe is at the moment. Her eyes widen and she splutters, dropping her spoon.

“What is it?” Amy demands excitedly.

“Chloe’s home,” Aubrey says stiltedly. “And Beca’s with her.”

She has barely thought about talking to Beca about all of this. She obviously has to go through her whole spiel as Chloe’s best friend.

Amy is already standing and holding out Aubrey’s purse for her. “Let’s go.”

Aubrey stands, chair scraping back loudly. “Let’s get them.”

By the time they end up reaching Aubrey’s apartment, she is primarily trying to slow her breathing and put on an air of unaffected nonchalance. She makes extended eye contact with Amy before sliding her key into the lock.

Beca and Chloe are sitting on the loveseat again, though they’re not sitting close together. They’re chatting casually, facing each other. Both turn towards the door when it opens all the way.

“Hi roomie,” Chloe greets.

“Hi Aubrey. Amy,” Beca says, waving a little.

“Chloe. Beca.”

They all stare at each other for a moment before Amy breaks the awkward silence by moving to sit on the other couch, stretching out.

A million things run through Aubrey’s mind as she stares at Chloe and Beca. There are so many ways to go about this - so many opportunities for embarrassment and amusement.

Also, so many ways that they could continue to lie to her.

Chloe coughs, standing up quickly. “I’m just going to run to the bathroom. One sec, guys.”

Three pairs of eyes swivel to watch her leave.

“Is there something you’d like to tell me?” Aubrey asks Beca once Chloe has disappeared to the washroom.

Beca stares back at her, a little insolently, a little nervously. “I don’t know. Is there something you’d like to tell me?” she fires back.

Aubrey is surprised at how easily Beca placed the ball back in her court. She practically handed it to her. Aubrey gracefully accepts.

Staring at Beca, Aubrey watches the way she seems to wither under her gaze. Aubrey’s not sure why it comes out exactly like this, but it does: “Not really,” she says slowly. “Except, maybe - Beca, please leave smaller hickeys on Chloe’s neck.”

Her voices rises a little at the end and her arms cross as she stares her down. Beca flushes deep red. Aubrey grins triumphantly when Beca squeaks "what?"

Beca seems to shrink into herself and she gapes, sinking into the couch a little. Amy unhelpfully laughs - or shrieks - and contributes nothing more to the conversation.

“You know, it was one thing when I thought you two were just trying out a friends with benefits thing, because God knows that you’ve both needed to get this fixation with each other out your system, but -” she holds up a finger when Beca opens her mouth. “-My roommate , Beca Mitchell? My best friend? How could you?”

Beca’s brow furrows. “I’m not exactly sure what you’re upset about, but I’m...I’m sorry-?”

“You two,” Aubrey says, sighing. She pulls out her phone, consulting the list of places they went all weekend. “All weekend, while Chloe was supposed to be away for work, and instead, you went to the movies, went to DUMBO, went for a nice stroll in the park,” she continues listing off places and Beca looks increasingly freaked out with each item.

Aubrey can hear Chloe rushing back down the hall. She heaves a breath when Chloe skids into view, eyes wide as she takes in how traumatized Beca looks, how delighted Fat Amy looks, and how pleased Aubrey looks.

“What’s going on?” she asks, her voice rising nervously in pitch.

Amy grins. “How long do you have, Chloe?”

Aubrey is about to settle down for bed after finishing off a bottle of wine with her friends. After all the drama, they had laughed it off - Beca more hesitantly than everybody else - and drank some wine, reminiscing on Barden and everything in between.

Chloe and Beca had cuddled immediately on the couch, limbs tangling, pleased smiles on their lips.

Now, Aubrey hears a quiet murmur of voices from the hallway.

“I tried to tell you,” Chloe whispers, hushed. “I knew she had an idea.”

“I really thought she didn’t,” Beca mutters back. “You didn’t tell me she’s fucking crazy. I felt like I was on episode of Maury or something. I've never been screamed at like that before.”

Aubrey scoffs. Beca is a baby. She had only raised her voice once. Hardly screaming.

Chloe laughs. “Hey, that’s my best friend you’re talking about, babe. I know her better than almost anybody else.”

“And I’m your girlfriend,” Beca says, in a voice that is so foreign to Aubrey. It is tender and affectionate.

Chloe giggles in response. “Well, I did try to warn you.”

“Chlo!”

Aubrey smiles.

Now that Beca and Chloe feel like they don’t need to hide anymore, Aubrey sees more of Beca than she ever did before, especially with how often she stays overnight. Especially on weekends.

Aubrey hears more of Beca’s music everyday. She also hears Chloe happily humming to herself whenever she’s making dinner.

Aubrey huffs, bumping into Beca on the way to the bathroom.

“Sorry,” Beca says, a little too cheerfully for Aubrey’s taste.

“I didn’t realize you were here,” Aubrey mumbles, blinking to make sure she’s not imagining Beca Mitchell in one of Chloe’s old oversized shirts in the middle of her hallway.

“Here I am,” Beca parries back.

“Bec!” Chloe’s voice calls from down the hall.

“Coming!”

Aubrey makes sure to take her time in the bathroom, hoping against hope that Beca and Chloe are going to sleep in.

She is very wrong.

Aubrey stares wide-eyed up at the ceiling, regretting her decision to forego the earplugs while she was in line at the check-out today.

This is her third traumatizing weekend in a row.

It is only 7:30 a.m. on a Saturday morning.

That’s early, even for Aubrey.

She doesn’t even want to think about whose idea this is.

Aubrey has had enough.

She barely resists the urge to just smack her hand against Chloe’s door to tell them to keep it down.

Aubrey (7:29 p.m.) Chloe Beale. Get out here. I have to tell you something.

She sends it off and doesn’t bother waiting for a reply considering she had just been freshly traumatized.

Aubrey privately wonders how Beca finds energy considering how much time she used to spend trying to make Bellas’ rehearsals difficult for everybody. Aubrey assumes Beca spends more time figuring out ways to annoy her than humanly possibly.

“Hey,” Chloe says, startling Aubrey out of her hypnotic trance by the stove. She turns to lower the heat on the stove before facing her friend. “Whatcha making?” Chloe asks, grabbing two - Aubrey’s eyes zero in on the action - water bottles from the fridge.

“Chloe, I have something to tell you,” Aubrey says briskly. She wants to get it over with. Chloe nods, uncapping one water bottle and taking a swig. Aubrey tries not to think about it too hard. “Chloe, you...I -” Aubrey tries to think about what Fat Amy would say, or even do. Chloe continues to stare at her, growing more concerned by the second. “I...no longer wish to have surround sound to your…” Aubrey puts her hand on her chin, tapping contemplatively. “Your...activities,” she finishes delicately. She mentally congratulates herself on her word choice.

It’s interesting, actually. Aubrey kind of wishes she had a secret camera set up somewhere because the next progression of events is simultaneously mortifying and hilarious. Chloe tilts her head in confusion, taking in Aubrey’s words. Aubrey only narrows her eyes further, willing her roommate to just...get the point, so neither of them have to be subjected to this awkward silence any longer.

“Oh,” Chloe says, finally. Quietly. Her cheeks grow red. It’s only temporary while Aubrey thinks that she can maintain the upper hand. Unfortunately, Chloe’s lack of boundaries means that she often bounces back from embarrassing moments with lightning quick reflexes. “I mean,” Chloe says, maintaining a hesitant tone. “It wasn’t me, right? I tried to tell Beca you’d be able to-”

Aubrey drops her spatula in the sink in horror. “No!” She wants to die. “I don’t want to - Jesus Christ, Chloe. Just, I’m letting you know that I can hear you, okay?!” Then, quieter, after a brief pause, “it was definitely you this morning,” she mutters.

Chloe blushes again, though she seems less embarrassed. “Oh, right.”

About an hour later, Aubrey finally settles back in bed with her laptop, determined to watch a movie and just relax for the rest of the night. She quickly stuffs her headphones into her ears, wary of the fact that both Chloe and Beca are still in the apartment.

Her phone buzzes just as she’s about to recline further into her pillows.

Chloe (8:47 p.m.) Oh, haha, I just saw your message.

Chloe (8:47 p.m.) gotchaaaa

Aubrey (8:48 p.m.) I hate you. And I hate Beca, too.

#bechloe #aubrey posen #beca mitchell #chloe beale #mine #my fanfic #social media #text #fanfiction #pitch perfect

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stateofgrace-acoustic · 6 years

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Why Speak Now is a lyrical masterpiece: an essay.

//it’s here!! i really wrote a 6000 word essay on Speak Now. yep, I’m a nerd and also slightly crazy. have been working on it for the last two weeks. i am really proud of this and i’m excited to share it, even if not many people read it.

Special thanks to @bridgesburn-i-neverlearn who encouraged me to write this and also is an angel in general. Thank you for being excited about it as much as I am - I hope you enjoy! //

Speak Now is a fan favorite among Taylor Swift’s albums, even though it has always been painfully overlooked in the mainstream. It is undoubtedly amazing on more than just one level - musically, it is diverse, uniting not only country and pop but bringing rock into the mix as well; the songs are confessional, heartfelt, each one telling a different unique story. They feel almost theatrical at times, which the Speak Now tour with its musical appeal - the elaborate stage design, background dancers, and dramatic performances incorporated into the songs - capitalized on in captivating fashion.

What has made me fall in love with this album most of all, though, has always been its storytelling - and I’m sure most fans will agree with me here. In this essay I want to highlight what I believe to be a central reason behind the charm of Speak Now: its thematic cohesion, exploring the intricacies of confessions through songwriting, and of speaking - or not speaking - in the right moment. I will go through the songs on the album looking for these thematic ties, while highlighting what makes each song special in my eyes, pointing out subtle subversions and added subtext that make the songs more complex than they might seem on the surface. I’ll argue that these little subversions are what situate Speak Now in an in-between stage between naivety and maturity - between idealism and realism. It is this space of being in-between, on not quite having arrived at a specific point, but trying to make sense of the world through storytelling, that make the album so compelling.

Taylor talked about the central idea behind Speak Now being confessions. ‘Each song is a different confession to a person.’, she stated before the album came out. ‘In the past two years, I’ve experienced a lot of things that I’ve been dying to write about. A lot of things I wanted to say in the moment that I didn’t.’* In the album prologue, she mentions specific, crucial moments where the decision between speaking or not speaking up can make or break a situation - situations in which she could have spoken up, but didn’t, and so she wrote songs about them. Songs that are, by nature, retrospective - confessions kept past the time that they should have been said, emotions bottled up from the moment they were felt. And retrospection always has something wistful about it, the knowledge of not being able to turn back time, even if your reflections may have made you wiser in time.

This idea is central in Back to December, an apology to a lover she mistakenly let go. The progression of the relationship, but also her different states of mind associated with it, are symbolized by the different seasons - starting off light and sweet with ‘then i think about summer, all the beautiful times’, turning to the realization of love in fall, until ‘the cold came, the dark days when fear crept into my mind’. Here she directly references her fear keeping her from holding onto the relationship. Now, the constant urge to relive the mistakes she made keeps her from moving on: ‘staying up, playing back myself leaving’. But she pushes the message of the song further than regret and apology - she knows that, as much as she would want to, she can never ‘go back in time and change it’, and as much as she loves daydreaming about it, that will never make it real. With that in mind, she tells him, ‘so if the chain is on your door, I understand’. She accepts that her apology might not be enough, that she might not be forgiven; she knows she needs to make her peace with that. This sense of acceptance not only shows maturity, but gives the song an undercurrent of sincerity; otherwise it could have been perceived as manipulative, an apology constructed to win back someone’s heart. Instead, it expresses an earnest sense of regret, and at the same time, the heartbreaking realization that regret is not always enough, and fixing the past is something beyond our control.

The pain of reflections bringing back detailed memories of something that is forever lost is also a central focus on Last Kiss. One of Taylor’s biggest strengths in her songwriting is her focus on detail - rather than talking about the relationship in general terms, she evokes specific images of ‘the smell of the rain, fresh on the pavement’ and ‘that look on your face, lit through the darkness at 1:58′. Playful moments in the relationship and traits of her former lover that she found endearing earlier - ‘you’re showing off again’, ‘you kissed me when i was in the middle of saying something’, have now become bitter as she misses not only the big emotions, but the little quirks and small moments that made her fall in love. The chorus shows the pain of having to face dreams shattering; ‘I never imagined we’d end like this’. The way she continuously recalls beautiful moments from the point of view of her naive, lovestruck side, and crushes them with questions - ‘why did you go?’- and pain from the present, gives the song a structure that parallels the repeated, sinking feeling of heartbreak. This is brought to its most unfiltered expression on the bridge, where his current life and distance from her is directly contrasted with the intimacy they used to share: ‘so I watch your life in pictures, like I used to watch you sleep. And I feel you forget me life I used to feel you breathe.’ As in Back to December, she also dedicates the bridge to a central message to the person the song is about - but it is ultimately not only one of hurt, or even anger, but of being lost: ‘I never planned on you changing your mind’. The central idea of the song is that she feels deeply insecure because she does not understand why she was left. It becomes clearest when she expresses the hope that he might feel the same longing for their times together as she does: ‘I hope it’s nice where you are [...] and something reminds you, you wish you had stayed.’ This is not the scathing goodbye to an old lover that she can master just as well on many of her other songs; its heartbreaking nature lies in the simple, evocative way it talks about the pain of being left alone without knowing the reason.

If the communication on Last Kiss is one-sided, as her former lover is long gone, on The Story of Us, it is dysfunctional and characterized by the growing divide between two people - another variation of the topic of speaking and confessing that ties together the album. Besides the many metaphors related to stories themselves - ‘i don’t even know what page you’re on’ - the clear structure stands out here the most. The first verse recalls the effortless chemistry they had at the beginning - ‘we met and the sparks flew instantly’ - and the dreams of the time when everything seemed stable. But soon the distances are too far to cross, at least for one person alone - ‘so many things that I wish you knew, so many walls up I can’t break through’. She now desperately wants to know how the other person feels, but has no way of knowing: ‘I’m dying to know, is it killing you like it’s killing me?’ The disconnection is illustrated in the second verse as the actions of both people are separated and contrasted - “see me nervously pulling at my clothes [...] and you’re doing your best to avoid me.’ and ‘how I was losing my mind [...] but you held your pride’, unlike the first verse where the ‘we’ was central. In the middle of the isolation, she feels the weight of the things that are unsaid: ‘I’ve never heard silence quite this loud’, and perhaps also the weight of her own inability to articulate her thoughts and emotions: ‘I don’t know what to say since the twist of fate when it all broke down’. The song illustrates the difficulties of communicating once misunderstandings and emotional walls are built between people. She realizes that to break down these walls, both partners would have to put in effort - “I would put my armor down i you said you’d rather love than fight’, and recognizes that she is likely not the only one who has things to say that she cannot put into words: “There’s so many things that you wish I knew’. At the same time, the issue can never be resolved if her partner is not willing to take a step forward, and so, the relationship is breaking apart without either of them finding a way back to each other.

Instead of real life issues with communication, the idea of speaking up in a crucial situation is taken to the realm of daydreaming where situations play out perfectly on the title track, Speak Now. It presents itself innocently - the speaker being an uninvited guest at a wedding, secretly having a crush on the groom. And in fact, at the beginning, the speaker illustrates herself as the total opposite of trouble: ‘I am not the kind of girl who should be rudely barging in on a white veil occasion’. However, from verse one, a sense of cheekiness runs through the song - ‘her snobby little family all dressed in pastel’ doesn’t make the bride look too appealing, and ironic remarks like ‘it seems that I was univited by your lovely bride to be’ makes her seem quite a bit more feisty than she makes herself out to be. And indeed, at the end of the second verse she directly tells him , ‘You wish it was me, don’t you?’ It is still sweet, but also slightly taunting - he is the one who should have known better, and he picked the wrong girl. The part of the wedding ceremony where guests are allowed to speak up one last time, gives the song, and the album its name: ‘Speak now or forever hold your peace’. Even in a song as generally lighthearted as this one, the sentiment itself is quite serious, and runs through the sadder songs on the record as well - the fleeting nature of chances and opportunities to speak up, and the possibilites of regret if you let it pass. It is a challenge, in the moment, to raise your voice, but - as Taylor says in the album prologue - ‘if there’s something you should say, you’ll know it. I don’t think you should wait.’ In her daydream, she doesn’t wait, and speaks up despite of her nervousness to a happy ending - and the guy in the song eventually thanks her: ‘so glad you were around when they said speak now’ - suggesting that he was actually unhappy with the situation as well and was too afraid to speak up himself. Even though it is, of course, not a line that is supposed to be taken too seriously and is simply the fulfillment of her romantic fantasy, him echoing her words, it can also be seen as a reaffirmation of raising your voice, as you might not only change your own life to the better, but effect others with your courage, too.

Even when Taylor sings about stories of love in a light of positivity and liberation, she inserts more complex emotions into it than obvious on the surface. On the opening track Mine, she recalls the classic narrative of two lovers meeting, falling in love, fighting and finally reconciliating with a happy ending, but gives it a few subtle but meaningful twists that sets it apart from her earlier, more simple and naive stories in the like, as Love Story. Suggestions that the speaker of the song had to witness love breaking apart in her childhood and grew up not believing in ideals of happily ever after are woven through the song - lines like ‘wondering why we bother with love if it never lasts’ seem upon focused listen, quite dark and uncomfortable in a song this upbeat and optimistic, even if the story does get a happy ending. And the central fight that occurs in the bridge of the song is directly followed by the insecurities boiling back up and threatening to end what both of them have built. At the end, the song is about the power of love to set you free and make you believe that stories of happily ever after are possible - but it does not happen on its own. The repeated mentions of ‘hold on, make it last’ at the end of the song suggest that only if both partners continuously put work into it, the happy ending is truly possible. A subtle sense of maturity that the simple ‘baby, just say yes’ at the end of Love Story does not carry.

Enchanted may be seen as the most straightforwardly romantic song on the album, but there are undercurrents of darkness here as well: the entire first verse speaks of being in a situation of loneliness and alienation from all the people in a room: ‘walls of insincerity, shifting eyes and vacancy’. It is a deeply sad image that is relieved by meeting the one person the speaker does have a real, intimate connection with. And while it is sweet and beautiful, the loneliness from the beginning of the song never vanishes entirely, as the entire song is a daydream - it is left open how the person that she has caught feelings for actually feels and responds. The sense of agitation that comes with overwhelming happiness is never really resolved - she expresses it in ‘dancing around all alone’ and daydreaming about a happy ending - but the song is never grounded back into reality, which gives it its momentum - it exists and stays in its own sphere of joy and hopefulness.

In this song, as in so many others, the important, revealing emotions occur at specific nighttime hours - here it is the anxious reflection on who the other person might love, in Mine it was the crucial fight between the lovers, in Last Kiss a remembered moment of intimacy. It is at these hours that emotions are most raw and unfiltered - which ties into the confessional nature of the whole album.

Taylor explores the intricacies of love further on songs like Sparks Fly, which, in its lyrical themes, can be seen as a predecessor to her album Red, as she talks about falling for someone that might not be the best choice, infatuation taking away her capacities for rational thought - ‘my mind forgets to remind me you’re a bad idea’, a recurring idea on her fourth LP. As happy and liberating as the song is, there is a certain danger to the attraction that Taylor is aware of - it could all end up badly, but she is too caught up to care. She paints herself as helpless to the feelings at first - comparing herself to a house of cards and saying ‘you’re the kinda reckless that should send me running, but I kinda know that I won’t get far.’ However, this simple image of total helplessness that does not give her any agency in instigating the relationship is subtly challenged on the bridge: ‘Just keep on keeping your eyes on me, it’s just wrong enough to make it feel right’, she sings, suggesting that in some capacity she simply does not want to think about the possible results of giving into her feelings - she is aware there is something off, but prefers not to follow the thought further. It is a moment of almost conscious self-denial that not only draws strong parallels to songs such as I Knew You Were Trouble, but to another song on Speak Now that dramatizes the opposite of falling in love: a relationship falling apart - Haunted.

Haunted with its deeply dramatic presentation gives the impression of Taylor being caught up in memories and feelings she cannot escape or move on from. More straightforwardly than on Sparks Fly, however, she states right at the beginning that she could see the damage coming: ‘I have known it all this time, but I never thought I’d live to see it break’. A small part of her held onto the hope that is might still work out. However, after everything is inevitably broken, she cannot find consolation or a sense of stability anywhere: ‘It’s getting dark and it’s all too quiet and I can’t trust anything now’. Her sensation of having lost her partner to a mysterious force that made his ‘eyes go cold’ perfectly fits the gothic atmosphere of the song, and the chorus shows that she is still to a certain extent in denial and shock as she pleads to him to come back to her - ‘something’s gone terribly wrong’ she sings, completely lost as to what caused him to turn away after she thought she knew him so well. The amount of shock she is still in is powerfully illustrated in the second verse as well: ‘Something keeps me holding on in nothing’. She is self-aware enough to know that it is senseless to keep coming back to a broken thing, but her emotions keep pulling her in. Finally, denial takes over again during the bridge as she repeats to herself: ‘I just know you’re not gone, you can’t be gone’. The song illustrates the precise state between realizing something is over, and dediding to move on. It’s the state of lingering for a while longer, being pulled from either side and being unable to let go - being ‘haunted’.

These same emotions of denial and helplessness are central in the next song as well, but it discusses many more emotional states, too- Dear John, which might be the center point of my analysis, as I consider it to be one of the most complex and impactful songs Taylor has ever written. It is a song about the dynamics of an abusive relationship and about heartbreak that gradually turns into self-empowerment.

Taylor uses a wide array of images to convey her feeling of being trapped in the relationship in the first verse, always feeling like the weaker partner at the mercy of the other - she compares herself to a chess figure being rendered powerless by constantly changing rules, and evokes the image of a blue sky being turned into rain. At the same time, she discusses the anxiety that comes with being so powerless and being the subject of constantly changing moods - ‘counting my footsteps, praying the floor won’t fall through again’, as well as bringing up the already mentioned self denial that she is now aware of and that her worried mother brought to her attention.

In the prechorus she frames the song as an explanation as to why she walked away from the relationship: ‘This song is to let you know why’. Then the chorus turns reflection of her emotional states into accusation, the first step on the song’s way toward empowerment. ‘Don’t you think I was too young to be messed with?’, she asks her partner to evaluate his own consciousness. But eventually, the chorus ends on a somber note as the accusation is directed not at him, but herself: ‘I should’ve known’. She regrets her denial in retrospect and blames herself for the way he treated her, a common reaction in emotionally abusive relationships.

The second verse, then, takes the next step: she examines the reasons behind the relationship not working out, and explicitly incorporates both partners into the conversation. However, while she accuses herself of naivety, the majority of the blame lasts on him this time, presenting him as having ‘a sick need to give love and take it away’. She further disects his personality, stating that he would not actually listen to her criticisms - or anyone else’s -, but simply think of her as misunderstanding him, refusing to see any position but his own- everyone else is on his ‘long list of traitors who don’t understand’.

Finally, on the bridge, she takes the crucial step up: instead of remaining a passive marionette in his hands, she takes back her agency, escapes his influence and therefore takes away his power: ‘took your matches before fire could catch me’, and, with her life back in her own hands, she is not only free, but a better person with a brighter life than his will ever be: ‘I’m shining like fireworks over your sad empty town’. It is the central climax of the song, but I would argue that it has a second, just as important one, as the central moment of subversion is reached at the end of the song. She turns the last lines of the chorus on its head: ‘cried the whole way home’, an image of humiliation, sadness and brokenness, is turned into the triumphant ‘wrote you a song’. And instead of the self-accusing ‘I should have known’ comes one small, but immensely weighted comment that not only makes him look like the naive fool instead of her, but places her in a position of strength on the basis of her songwriting: ‘You should’ve known’. It carries a double meaning - he should have known not to mess with her that young, but he also should have known that she would fight back by writing a song. She uses her own public image as a weapon in a line that manages to both be slightly self-deprecating, and ridiculing her former lover for underestimating her. He might have broken her heart, but she can write about it and find protection and self-worth through her art - here, Taylor discovers the power of the song as a weapon, a concept she would later bring to heights of success on mega hits like Blank Space.

Thus, Dear John takes the journey from a place of complete helplessness to strength and empowerment through art, and it chronicles the variety of emotional states on the way with captivating precision.

As multifaceted as Taylor’s songs about love on Speak Now are, it is not the only topic she sings about, so for the last section, I’ll take a look at the songs that illustrate topics of empowerment, revenge, and forgiveness, as well as the overarching theme of growing up.

Mean might be seen as just one of the many Taylor songs about getting back on a hater, but it is a truly special one, as she grounds the song in different emotions that all play together; a confronting attitude, making her critic responsible for his words and actions, a sense of the cheekiness from Speak Now, and genuine expression of the effect his words had on her wellbeing. She is not afraid to call out his behavior as hypocritical and unfair - ‘switching sides, wildfire lies, humiliation’, the accusatory ‘you’ hanging over the beginning of every verse. At the same time, ‘you have knocked me off my feet again, got me feeling like a nothing’ opens up a complete insight into the devastating effect his comments had on her. At the end, ‘you don’t know what you don’t know’ is her way of telling him that as long as he does not actually know her and makes up accusations, his words do not have legitimacy at all. She even searches for roots to his actions - ‘I bet you got pushed around’ before stating that she will not stoop so low to use his own methods: ‘the cycle ends right now’. Following up on this idea, the chorus is her big, triumphant refusal to further engage with him at all, saying that some day, she will be so big, he will not even be relevant enough to hurt her. It is a much more scathing comment than actually directly getting back at him would be, completely stripping him of any relevance. Toward the end of the bridge, she seems to leave it at ‘all you are is mean’, but then fires off some more accusations: ‘and a liar, and pathetic, and alone in life...and mean’ It is intentionally slightly petty, playing with restraint before she gives into her desire to express herself honestly and to get a bit of revenge, after all. She is having her fun with the rebuttal as much as she is genuinely expressing her emotions and making a mature statement about taking the higher road. She proves, on the song, that these do not have to be exclusive attitudes - you can send an important message while still having fun with the song.

But as effective as Taylor can be at balancing revenge and forgiveness, she can dive deeper into either side of the scale as well if she wants to. On Better than Revenge, she fully embraces her anger and fury to call out both her ex boyfriend and his new girfriend. She paints him as a possession of hers that was unrightfully stolen, and equates her rival to a child that hasn’t learned proper manners when she lectures her that ‘stealing other people’s toys on the playground won’t make you many friends’. Thus, in the word choice alone, she takes the conflict to a childlike level. Taylor shows herself as a person with mature attitudes who has to teach the other girl about proper behaviour - and she does have real points to make: ‘sophistication isn’t what you wear or who you know’ - but at the same time, her wilingness to engage in the battle and her desire to ‘always have the last word’ reveal her own motivations which come from a place of impulsive emotions and wounded pride, too. The triumphant and gratified way she sings ‘Let’s hear the applause, come on, show me how much better you are’ shows her taking pleasure from the fact that her rival was, after all, not worth it anyway - an attitude that is very much not mature, but she knows it, and she embraces it fully in the song, which no doubt felt cathartic to write. And here, again, we have the function of songwriting reflected in an actual song. It is only implied, but after all, the titular revenge she gets is the song itself - even if she could not win him back, she can make sure that she has the last word.

Innocent can be seen as the opposite twin of Better than Revenge - even though they are about different issues - when it comes to attitude. The song is all about giving a person who slighted you a second chance, the reasoning for it being that stumbling at a point in life is an experience everyone shares, and so everyone deserves a fresh start at one point with no past baggage keeping them down - ‘who you are is not what you’ve been’. She expresses sympathy in the verses, comparing adult life to easier days of childhood when a sense of safety and security was taken for granted, and you had people to look up to and guide you in life - ‘always a bigger bed to crawl into’. The line ‘wasn’t it beautiful when you believed in everything and everybody believed in you’ expresses both a sense of disillusionment that comes with adulthood and the loss of the support structure that seemed completely self-evident for all of childhood - being left alone, knowing that no one will be there to catch you once you fall, is a terrifying situation. Adulthood is the time when ‘the monsters caught up to you’, a simultaneously sinister and sad image for everything that caregivers cannot shield from us anymore after a certain age. And as this is an experience we all share, Taylor implies, we need to look out for each other instead, and give each other second chances when needed. She talks about regret, too, an idea that was already discussed in other songs: ‘Did some things you can’t speak of, but at night you’ll live it all again.[...] If only you had seen what you know now, then.’ This part not only incorporates the album theme of speaking into the song - in the form of words you won’t even admit to yourself - it also calls back to the idea of knowing a better route to past events upon reflection, but the wistful knowledge that turning back time is impossible. As Taylor herself relates heavily to this experience, as she has illustrated on songs like Back to December, she can apply the feelings to others and empathize with her supposed enemy. The song in that way shows itself to be about the power of empathy to remind us of experiences we all share and are bonded by, and, at the same time, it is just as much about growing up as it is about forgiveness. The key to dealing with the fleeting nature of life and the possibilites of missteps and missed opportunities, as is suggested in the bridge, is to keep reminding yourself that changes also bring chances, and as humans we are capable of constantly renewing ourselves: ‘Today is never too late to be brand new’.

The topic of growing up is not left to Innocent alone to reflect; in fact, it has its very own song dedicated to it, titled Never Grow Up. The wistfulness of remembering the safety and effortless happiness of a childhood long gone takes center stage here, as she talks to a young child who stil has her entire life in front of her - yet, over the course of the song, Taylor gets lost in her own reflections and reminisces on what she has lost of her own childhood. The child’s innocence makes her think - in a heartbreaking way - of the inevitable time when this carefree nature - ‘to you, everything’s funny, you’ve got nothing to regret’ - will be lost and disillusionment will replace wide-eyed optimism. Having experienced it herself, Taylor wants nothing more than to shield her from the same fate - ‘I’d give all I have, honey, if you could stay like that’, but she knows that it is impossible. And so the chorus with its repeated mentions of ‘oh, darling don’t you ever grow up’ is steeped in a deep sense of sadness, as it’s clear that this wish can never be fulfilled. On the second verse, Taylor flashes forward to the teenage years and once again, recalls an image of naive, boundless joy, struggling to hold onto it - ‘don’t lose the way that you dance around in your PJs getting ready for school’. At the same time, she never loses sight of the fact that everyone shares the fate of growing up, and struggles with it, which might help us understand other generations’ struggles, too: ‘Remember that she’s getting older too’. The central idea of the song is the tragedy behind the constant wish to grow up as a child - ‘you can’t wait to move out some day and call your own shots’ - just to want to go back to the simpleness of childhood once you actually get there. Thus the mantra of the chorus can also be seen as a wish to hold onto childhood just a little longer, or preserve what is possible from it. But at the end of the song, when Taylor relates her own experience to the rest of the song, she comes to a rather defeating conclusion: ‘I just realized everything I have is someday gonna be gone:’ The only thing that is possible to do is hold onto the memories, they will hold on to you - ‘keep pictures in your mind of your childhood’ - and try to keep them safe in your heart.

Finally, the song that is left is the last song on the album, Long Live - and this song, too, is a reflection, but it is a much more hopeful, enthusiastic one that celebrates the people that helped Taylor get to where she is and all the memories that were made on the way. She consistently uses plural ‘we’ on the chorus of this song, illustrating the fact that it is not about her own success and story only, but about the community she has built along the way - with her band, her entire crew, and most importantly her fans, and just how much this community means to her. The song is a celebration of the things that can be moved when people come together - the way it can make the seemingly impossible come true - ‘long live all the magic we made’, and the way it can make seeming underdogs the ‘kings and queens’ of the world for just a night. She feels like she can take anyone on in this situation - ‘bring on all the pretenders, I’m not afraid’. This momentum, this power and beauty is something she wants to keep safely stored so that the memories can never be lost. At the same time, she takes a wider look into the future on the bridge, breaking her celebration for a while to think about the consequences of the fairytale ending, of things falling apart - and all she wants in this situation is the magic of the memories to be remembered, and felt even by people who were not directly there. It is, at the end, a love letter to her fans, for all that we have achieved together with her and that is yet to come: ‘I had the time of my life with you’. Thinking back on the album topic, it illustrates the wonderful things that can happen if you do take chances - if you take the courage to speak now. It leaves the album on a note of joy and a sense of magic the belief that even the highest dreams can be achieved, and everything is possible - when we find a way to connect with each other and fight for it together.

At the end, with Speak Now we are left with an album that examines love and life in all its complexities; incorporating fantasy and reality, regret and denial, revenge and forgiveness, loneliness and connection, wistfulness and hope into fourteen songs, each painted in muliple shades of emotion, all of them tied together by the topic of confessions and speaking up. It is an album that is both deeply personal and universal, and I have loved it for all of that for many years - I hope this love came through in this piece of writing, and I hope that I could make you relive your own love for Speak Now while reading it.

(If you’ve made it all the way to the end, thank you so much!! I don’t really expect anyone to read this, so if you did, I really really appreciate it. I hope you could get something for yourself out of it. And to Natasha, thanks to you more than anything - without you I never would have written this!)

*https://www.rollingstone.com/music/music-news/taylor-swift-announces-third-album-speak-now-186288/

#taylor swift #speak now #vanessa talks #for a very long time #vanessa has never talked this much #she is currently questioning her sanity #she loves speak now way too much

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