#well okay!!! i usually avoid toll roads anyways!! i just. want to get to my destination with actual time to enjoy myself

[autistic-shaiapouf]

Prepping my little transponder to go on my car so I can pay for toll roads with it but it's refusing to let me finalize my account due to "unpaid debt" associated with my bank account :')

[honeypiehotchner]

illicit affairs (Spencer Reid one-shot)

This is wayyy overdue! It’s just been sitting in my drafts, waiting for me to edit her, but she’s finally here. This is very loosely based on Taylor Swift’s song of the same title. And it’s 100% me writing out some feelings through fanfiction, so it’s also loosely based on true events. Enjoy!

Summary: You and Spencer have been “dating” without a label for a few months now, until you witness something that has you wondering if it was too good to be true (as always).

Warnings: it’s so dramatic. Angst with a happy ending!

Spencer has no fucking clue what he did.

Well, to be more accurate, Spencer has no idea if he even did anything at all.

One second the two of you were acting as normal as ever, attached at the hip and nothing less, and the next you’re barely able to look at him. You won’t speak to him, you insist you’re fine, and you ask him to leave you alone -- please.

A new case comes and he thinks things will fall back into their rightful place. He expects you to sit with him on the plane, but you choose the farthest seat away from him. He expects you’ll be paired with him when he says he’ll go to the local station to work on victimology, but instead you agree to Morgan’s offer to look at the crime scene.

He’s desperate. He’s a so-called genius, and he’s losing his mind.

“Morgan, help me out here, man,” Spencer pleads, cornering Morgan when he’s getting a coffee. He’s just returned from the crime scene with you, but of course, you’ve ducked away from Spencer.

Derek’s eyebrows raise. Slowly, he turns around, eyeing the desperate genius. “You’re asking for my advice?”

“She won’t talk to me,” Spencer whispers, eyes cutting to you, but only for a second. He doesn’t want you to think he’s creepily staring at you all the time. So far, you haven’t caught him (that he knows of).

“Well, what did you do?” Morgan asks like the answer should be blatantly obvious.

“I don’t know!”

“Alright, let me rephrase that for you,” Morgan’s tone is bordering on teasing, but he can’t help it. The resident genius of the BAU is having trouble talking to a woman. Who knew? “Have you done anything that would lead her to believe you’re not interested in her anymore?”

“What? No!”

“Think, Reid,” Morgan replies, tipping his cup of coffee in the air. “And when you figure it out, apologize.”

He leaves without another word. Morgan joins you and Emily back in the room where the team has set up base. You share a particularly heated look with Morgan, but he shakes his head, letting you know he didn’t betray your confidence. You relax.

Spencer doesn’t know this, but earlier when you were riding with Morgan to the crime scene, you confided in him.

It had been completely accidental. Something about car rides brings out the need to ask for advice. Maybe it’s the fact that there’s the road to focus on, or the case to segway into, you don’t know. But what you do know, is that when you confided in Morgan, he shook his head, and called Spencer a dumbass.

“Hypothetically,” you had begun, and Morgan remembers wondering if you were going to talk about the case, but you didn’t. “If you’ve been talking-- flirting with a guy and going on a few dates over the past few months -- but there’s no label -- but so if you’ve been doing all this and then you suddenly see him outside his apartment hugging another woman -- like arms around her waist kind of deal, face in her neck...what does that mean?”

Morgan had nearly slammed on the brakes. Reid? A two-timer? He never would’ve guessed. The kid could barely get his words out when he first met you, and now he’s playing you?

“Well, hypothetically,” Morgan played into your game. “I’d be suspicious. Personally, I don��t just hug any woman like that if I don’t have other intentions,” he shook his head. What you’re describing is intimate, especially for Reid. “You’re right to think something else is going on.”

“Who said it was about me?”

Morgan looked at you with his usual knowing stare. Sometimes you forget you’re all profilers. You’ve made deals not to profile one another, but you’re sure it still happens. You all have another silence agreement to never voice it aloud, unless needed.

“Fine,” you caved, crossing your arms over your chest. “I don’t know, I just-- I was going to drop off his stupid jacket that he left in my car the night before, and I saw him hugging her right on his doorstep and she kissed his cheek and I just-- I bolted. I don’t know.” You had let out a frustrated sigh. “I thought he was different.”

“If it helps,” Morgan shrugged, “I’ll kick his ass.” He might protect Reid like a mother hen, but he’s not afraid to give him a hard time, either.

“No, no, don’t,” you groaned. “I’m just gonna keep my distance. No sense in putting effort into something that clearly is never going to happen.”

“Oh, come on, don’t talk like that,” Morgan said. You used to talk that way all the time when you first started at the BAU, but it slowly died out the more you hung out with Spencer. Morgan connected the dots, but never told you.

“You know I’ve never been in a relationship?”

This time, Morgan did slam on the brakes.

“What?”

“Never,” you shook your head, motioning for him to keep driving. “Not one. They all fall through. I started thinking something was wrong with me, you know?” Morgan gave you another look, his sad, big brother one this time. “But then Spencer and I started getting closer, he took me on what I thought, I guess, were a couple of dates. I mean, he paid and drove and walked me to my door and all that cute shit. That’s a date, right? I mean, he never kissed me on the lips, but it’s Spencer.” You didn’t even look to see Morgan’s reaction, but he was nodding. “I started to think maybe it was never me, maybe it was the guys--”

“It was the guys,” Morgan argued. “Alright? You’re amazing. Anyone would be lucky to have you. It would be a damn honor. Don’t let that head of yours convince you otherwise.”

You shook your head, the crime scene rapidly approaching. “I’m not so sure anymore.”

You were out of the car and introducing yourself to the police on the scene before Morgan could even blink.

Morgan can only hope Reid had a good reason for having a woman at his door and hugging her, and letting her kiss his cheek. Reid doesn’t give hugs to just anyone, let alone accept a kiss, so whoever it was, obviously she was more than a friend.

The thought of Reid being a player makes Morgan smile. On the one hand, he’s a little bit proud. On the other, he’s pissed. It’s one thing to have one night stands with women who are into that sort of thing, but it’s another to drag someone along -- someone like you, someone who is too good, who deserves better than that.

Morgan had thought about telling you to just talk to Spencer, in hopes that there was a good reason for what you saw, but you’ve made it painfully clear over the past two weeks that you’d rather keep your distance instead.

So, he lets you. He can’t say that he blames you, really. Not after what you told him. He can only hope Spencer will figure this one out before it’s too late.

+++

After the case is closed and you’re back home, you immediately head for the shower. Cases are exhausting enough, but avoiding Spencer made it worse. Going from being attached at the hip to trying to be anywhere except in the same room as him took a toll on you. Not to mention, dodging everyone else’s worried looks. Morgan is the only one you’ve confided in, but that hasn’t stopped Hotch, Emily, JJ, and even Garcia from constantly asking if you’re alright.

Once you’re finished showering and in your pajamas, you head back to the living area. Spencer’s forgotten cardigan lays on the arm of your couch, lonely.

You know you shouldn’t, but you shrug it on anyway. No harm in wearing it. Not like he misses it. He probably has a hundred others.

You head to the kitchen to make yourself some tea, hoping it’ll soothe your nerves and help you drift off to sleep before your mind has the time to make you think of Spencer.

Too late.

Sighing heavily, you place the kettle on the stove. You hum a song while you’re at it, knowing that you’re being endlessly dramatic.

It’s not like you had sex with Spencer. Hell, the most the two of you did was hold hands and you kissed his cheek. He kissed your head once, though you think it was an accident.

Still, there was never a label. Why are you so upset?

Don’t call me kid, don’t call me baby/Look at this idiotic fool that you made me

It’s stupid, really, how hung up you are over this. A few dates don’t exactly mean anything at all. Flirting nowadays can mean nothing, too. You don’t understand any of it.

You cup your cheek gently, foolishly wondering what it would feel like if Spencer’s hand was there instead -- maybe even as he kissed you, but you don’t want to get too carried away. It’s not like anything will ever happen now.

And you know damn well/for you I would ruin myself/a million little times

Maybe you just need more time. This was the first time in a long time that you had let your guard down, let yourself go on dates. So many times it had all gone wrong, so you closed yourself off and focused on your career. You thought since you were stable at the BAU that now it was okay.

You thought Spencer -- Spencer Reid, of all people, you really thought he would’ve been different.

Maybe it’s just your type. Maybe that’s who you attract. The men who don’t want anything serious and never will. They’re stuck in Peter Pan mode. You must be Wendy. It must be a curse.

The kettle boils and you cut the burner off, fixing your tea.

You’re just walking back to the living room when there’s a knock on your door. You freeze, your panicked mind expecting the absolute worst, until you hear Spencer’s voice.

“Y/N?” He calls out. “It’s Spencer-- You probably knew that already.”

You smile into your tea, but you make no move for the door. You want-- no, you ache to let him inside, but you know it’s a bad idea. He’s probably here to ask if you’re alright, and you don’t have the energy to answer him. He’s probably going to go back to his girlfriend after this. You really don’t know that you can handle a face-to-face rejection.

“Y/N, please,” Spencer says again, pleading. He knocks once more, quietly. “I see lights are on, so I’m just going to...assume you can hear me.”

You walk a step closer. You don’t want to let him inside, but maybe you can listen. That won’t be too bad, right?

“Y/N, I’m...I’m sorry.”

Oh, tears. Stupid, stupid tears. You wipe them on the sleeve of his cardigan, glad that they’re at least falling quietly right now.

“I don’t know what I did, but I’m...I’m just sorry and I miss you and it’s killing me that you won’t even look at me. I…” Spencer pauses, and you walk closer, biting on the sleeve to keep from letting out a sob. “I’m sorry, I don’t… Please, just tell me what I did.”

You press your back to the door, sliding down until you hit the floor. You keep your knees against your chest and set the mug of tea down next to you. The noise causes Spencer’s ears to perk up.

“Y/N? Is that you?”

“Yeah, Spencer,” you barely speak loud enough for him to hear. “It’s me.”

“Please, tell me what I did,” he pleads, voice breaking. Is he crying, too? “I don’t know what it was, but I’ll fix it. Or I’ll try-- Please, let me try.”

“Spencer…” You sigh, tears falling down your cheeks with no restraint. “Be honest with me, are you seeing someone else?” You pause, choking on a sob. So many times you’ve had this conversation, the rejection, finding out you weren’t the one they wanted. Too many times. But none of them ever hurt this bad. “Do you have a girlfriend?”

“What?” Spencer nearly falls over. Why on earth would you think that? “What are you talking about? Of course not.”

“Don’t lie to me, please,” you groan, pressing your hand to your forehead. This is pathetic. You shouldn’t be showing him how upset you are. And through a door, no less. Can you get any more dramatic?

“What are you talking about?”

“I was at your apartment, Spencer,” you mutter, wiping angrily at your cheeks. “I went to drop off this stupid cardigan of yours and you-- You were hugging a woman outside your door and I saw it and I saw her kiss you--”

You cut yourself off, choking on another sob, and Spencer sighs. He understands now.

“Open the door. Please,” he says.

“Why?” You reply quietly. “If you’re just going to reject me, please, just do it through the door.” The last thing you want is for him to see you like this when he tells you he’s seeing someone else, that he didn’t even know you liked him, and so on.

“I’m not rejecting you,” he says softly. “Please.”

You know it’s a bad idea, but how much worse can things get?

You stand to your feet and open the door, careful of the mug of tea on the floor. Spencer’s heart drops at the sight of you. Tear stains on your cheeks, red eyes, your quivering lip as you try to hold things together, and...his cardigan hanging off your shoulders. Somehow the last tops it all off, sends a strike of pain right to his heart.

You wipe some more tears away with the sleeve, motioning for him to start talking. “Go on.”

“She’s an old friend. We did kiss before, once. But she’s not my girlfriend. She was in town and wanted to stop by to tell me she’s getting married...to her girlfriend of three years.”

You nod slowly. For some reason, that doesn’t even make you feel better. “Okay.”

“Okay?” Spencer asks, hopeful tone and all. “Are we okay?”

“What are we, Spencer?” You ask, eyes still watering. “I can’t keep going on the way we were going, you know? It’s agonizing, I just want to know what’s going on in your head.”

Spencer smiles softly. “I want you to...to be my girlfriend.”

Your ears are deceiving you. They must be. “Are you sure?”

“Of course I’m sure. I thought it was obvious,” he chuckles. “That’s one of the things I talked to her about -- her name’s Jess. She invited me-- us to the wedding. I was gonna ask you to be my girlfriend-- I still want to, I mean, if you’ll have me.”

More tears spring to your eyes and Spencer’s heart jumps, thinking he did something completely wrong.

“What happened? Did I say something?”

“No,” you shake your head. “God.” You wipe at your cheeks before turning and retreating back into your apartment. Spencer has no choice but to follow you.

He spots your mug of tea and places it on the coffee table as he shuts your front door gently with his foot.

“I’m so...stupid,” you mutter, jumping when you see he’s followed you inside. He’s not unwelcome here by any means, you’re just an idiot. A huge idiot.

“You’re not stupid,” he argues. “I wish you would’ve talked to me.”

“Would you believe me if I told you this has happened to me before?” You murmur pathetically, propping your body against the arm of your couch.

Spencer’s heart breaks more. You won’t look at him again.

“I’m sorry,” you sigh, clasping your hands together, fighting the shakes. “I should’ve talked to you, I just-- This has happened before and those times it was… Well, you know.” You finally look up at him, tears falling. “The first time the guy didn’t even try hiding it. The second one did, but not very well because I still found out. The third wasn’t even aware that he was flirting with me, I guess. I don’t know how you can take someone on dates for months and not be aware, but he said he wasn’t.” You pause, looking away again. “I just saw a pattern and I freaked out and I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Spencer whispers, even though you still feel like it’s not.

You shake your head.

“Y/N, it is,” he presses on. “I should’ve...talked to you about how I’m feeling, but I was scared. You’re the first girl that’s-- I don’t know, liked me for me, I guess. Dorkiness and all.”

You chuckle, and Spencer nearly grins. He got a laugh. That’s something.

“How about we both make a deal to communicate better?” He offers. You nod, so he keeps going. “I’ll go first. I really want you to be my girlfriend.”

You can’t help but smile now, all dumb and trying to hide it in the sleeve of his cardigan. “I’d really love to be your girlfriend.”

“Yeah?” He asks, almost like he wasn’t even expecting you to agree, but you nod, confirming it for his genius brain.

The kiss the two of you share is a long time coming. It’s gentle and warm, relaxing your muscles and easing the tension you’ve held in them for the past two weeks. Spencer gathers you in his arms, keeping you close, with zero intent of ever letting you go.

+++

When you walk into the BAU the next morning, you are painfully reminded that you are surrounded by the best profilers in the country.

It’s no secret that you and Spencer have been “dating” for a while, but you never showed PDA -- partly because the two of you were fumbling around your true feelings, and partly because you’re not too sure how relationships stand with protocol here.

Apparently, despite coming in fifteen minutes apart from one another, everyone can see right through you both.

Morgan is the first to say something. He catches you when the elevator doors open and you have Spencer’s cardigan hanging over your shoulders. In your defense, Spencer forgot to grab it when he left your house sometime this morning, so you were just trying to return it -- again.

“Late night?” Morgan raised his eyebrows.

Realizing your mistake, your eyes widen. “Shut up.” You step off the elevator and point a threatening finger in his face. “Not a word.”

Morgan’s hands raise in surrender, but he still has that goddamn smile on his face. “Might wanna take off that cardigan, sweetheart. You’re too obvious.”

Angrily, you shrug it off and walk into the bullpen.

Spencer is at his desk, so you shove his cardigan into his chest. “You forgot this.”

Upon seeing that it’s you, Spencer’s lips stretch into a grin. “Thanks.” He pauses, folding the cardigan over his arm. “I was kind of hoping you’d keep it,” he whispers, eyes darting around to be sure no one is listening. “It looks better on you, anyway.”

You bite down hard on the inside of your cheek. “Give it to me tonight, then,” you wink, earning a light blush on Spencer’s cheeks.

Hotch watches this encounter from the railing and smiles. He’s sure neither of you will do anything to warrant him giving you a stern talk about relationships and work, so he won’t mention anything for now.

Instead, he retreats back into his office, glad you’ve finally gotten over yourselves.

Garcia catches on when you come to visit her in her office only to find Spencer already standing there. He’s animatedly talking about Doctor Who, but stops abruptly when he sees you. It doesn’t take a profiler to understand the glances, the smiles, and awkward goodbyes that were shared so you could ask Garcia a question.

Prentiss is just glad the two of you will look at one another again, but the way you keep glancing over her shoulder to see Spencer is more than obvious. It’s so obvious that Prentiss and JJ share a knowing look, but say nothing. They should’ve placed bets.

You and Spencer catch each other’s eyes more than a dozen times every hour, and he follows you to the break room to conveniently get a coffee at the same time as you.

Yeah, you’re not being obvious at all.

Neither of you notice that the team has caught on, so you take your chances when you find yourselves alone in the break room. You can practically hear the conversations the rest of the team is having out in the bullpen, so you let Spencer pull you into his arms, his chin resting on top of your head.

This is a lot for Spencer, and you too, if you’re honest. Hugs are something you never found yourself enjoying, but when you’re tucked into Spencer’s chest, you never want to leave.

You’re both too busy holding one another to hear Hotch’s footsteps as he enters the room. The clearing of his throat is what finally breaks the two of you apart.

“Agent Hotchner,” you blurt, straightening yourself and taking one too many steps away from Reid.

Hotch smirks. You haven’t called him that since your first day. “New case. Looks like a short one. Conference room in five minutes.”

And he leaves as quick as he came, chuckling under his breath.

You and Spencer share a look before dissolving into laughter and fixing your coffee. You don’t try to walk out of the break room separately, knowing that there’s no use.

Especially not when you get cold on your way to the conference room, and Spencer promptly wraps you in his cardigan.

[unprofessional-bard]

Chapter 9 - Love Among the Ruins

Losing My Religion Series Masterlist

Unprofessional Bard's Masterlist

Previous Chapter • Next Chapter

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female!Reader/OC

Warnings: Angst in the beginning, some fluff in the middle and smutty smutty smut with dirty talk(?) at the end with a surprise 😌

Summary: The lovers finally confront each other.

Word Count: 5.925

Author's Note: For those who are wondering about the date - it's mid September & October, 2035! I'm so sorry for the late update, my inspo was a little low; writing this chapter was disastrous because I changed the course of the story halfway through but after many proofreading's and editing, here we are. My apologies again for keeping you all waiting for so long, I hope y'all are still interested in this series 🥺

Enjoy!

As you had predicted, you hadn't healed an ounce. All your bruises did was change colour and, according to Katherine, it was a sign that you were healing. Bullshit, you had said. You didn't say you knew better than a doctor, but you'd had similar scars like these and they healed quicker in the span of a week than these had in ten days.

"I'm sorry-" You had immediately apologised to Katherine after you let your frustration slip. "I didn't mean to offend you."

"No offense taken," She smiled sadly. "I understand your frustration, (Y/N). Physical damage like yours takes its toll on the person."

"I ain't healing, Katherine." You croaked, sighing. "It doesn't have anything to do with your treatment."

"I know," Katherine caressed your shoulder gently. "You went through hell and you need to rest. You need to heal emotionally so the rest of you can too."

The words stuck to you, of course you knew it had something to do with your mental health, but you didn't know exactly what you needed or needed to do.

But deep down, you knew exactly what you needed.

So that's why -after a total of a week and a day in the infirmary had passed and Tommy visited you by himself on a rainy morning- you decided to confront Joel.

"Hey," Tommy appeared by your door with that stupid smirk and Texan drawl.

"Hey," You chuckled through your nose at the sight of him. Your voice was better than it was a couple of days ago: "You look cheerful."

"No more than usual," Tommy sat down. "How're you feelin' today?"

"No shittier than usual," You scoffed, making him chortle. Before you knew it, the following words rolled out of your tongue: "I want to see Joel." Tommy's expression morphed into a shocked one, as he clearly wasn't expecting you to say that, so you added while he remained silent: "That ass hasn't visited me once."

"He... actually did- does," Tommy cleared his throat. "But you don't know that 'cause he does when you're asleep."

Your eyes widened at the new information, your brows immediately knitted: "What?"

"Dolly, look-"

"Don't you Dolly me!" You hissed. "Tommy Miller, you're no less of an ass than your brother!"

"Why am I an ass now?!" Tommy objected.

"You knew he visited me and kept it from me?!" You raised your voice.

"What's going on?" Daisy suddenly walked in, hearing the commotion from meters away.

"Nothing- don't worry," He quickly lowered his voice and reassured her. "Something bit Dolly in the ass."

"Oh fuck you Tommy," You flipped him off. "You're lucky I'm stuck to this damned bed, or I'd smack the shit out of you-"

"Why is my husband's sister-in-law smacking the shit out of my husband?" Maria appeared out of nowhere, smirking as she looked at the scene in front of her.

Tommy liked to refer to you as her sister-in-law, even though you weren't labelled as married with Joel; it unintentionally became a habit of the actually married couple and, even though the road ahead wasn't clear for you, they made you a part of the family. You didn't mind, you didn't try to protest against it because this was exactly the same case with "Dolly".

"Your husband is being an ass!" You groaned.

Tommy stayed quiet for a moment, then sighed in defeat. "You know what? You're actually right. I should've told you."

"...It's okay," You didn't look him in the eyes as you exhaled heavily.

A confused Daisy walked out of the room with an okay, nevermind kind of expression on her face, making Maria walk into the room and close the door behind her: "What happened?"

"Joel visits me while I'm asleep and none of you bother to tell me about it?" You looked between them in a displeased manner.

Maria and Tommy exchanged a guily look between themselves, then Maria spoke: "Yeah, we should've told you, you're right... but you said you weren't ready to face him just yet. He knows this and he's ashamed of what he did, so I think he thought it was better to visit you like that than not visit at all."

"Well, I'm not going to pussy out and avoid this furthermore, I want to see him." The couple exchanged another worried look before you added: "Bring him here- to me."

Tommy chuckled. "He'll come running, don't worry, but he just left for patrol..."

"Oh... okay. Afterwards, then." You said, calmer now.

"I'll let him know when he returns," Maria turned to her husband and then back to you. "I'm glad you decided to talk to him - one of you had to do it sooner or later and, well, I knew it was going to be you."

You gave Maria an alien look, many emotions running through your mind as she continued: "You may not be aware, but you're quite confrontational. I think Ellie got that from you."

"Oh, no," You smiled a little. "I got it from her. She's the most confrontational kid I've ever seen."

Maria smiled back: "As I was saying, you're confrontational, but Joel isn't - according to Tommy, anyways."

"You're right, to some level anyway," You looked at Tommy, then leaned back on your pillows.

Whether they liked it or not, a person has to come face to face with their mistakes, accept them, learn from them and move on. It was easier said than done of course, you knew this better than anyone - suddenly you felt sick to your stomach, memories of your first weeks in Jackson interrupting your train of thought, all of a sudden making you nauseous and giving you a desperate urge to be left alone.

"Are you okay, (Y/N)?" Maria sat beside you. "You're going paler by the second-"

"I'm fine," You gulped. "Just- old memories-"

Maria immediately took your hand which was closest to her in both of hers: "It's going to be okay, nothing that can't be sorted out."

"I know," You smiled weakly, the need to empty your insides crawling up your throat. "I should rest a while, I don't feel too well-"

"Should I call Kat?" Tommy asked and Maria gave you a concerned look.

"No, no, I'm fine, I just- I need to sleep for a bit..." You gave her hand a weak, reassuring squeeze, then closed your eyes and pressed your head against the pillows. The couple took this as their cue and left quietly, letting you fall into a long sleep.

----

It was a tough day for the eldest Miller brother. He was absolutely drained and currently sleeping on the uncomfortable, leather chair outside your room after a rather harsh patrol; his arms were crossed and legs were spread and he was sure his neck would've snapped in half if he hadn't woken up to the echoing of a door opening. He quickly sat up, all those years out in the wild having made his hearing hypersensitive, and cursed quietly, rubbing his neck and groaning. The watch on the wall read 19:07 and his head snapped towards your door immediately, but before he could get up, a voice he wasn't entirely fond of scratched at his ears.

"Hey man..." It was Walt. He scratched the back of his neck as Joel slowly turned his head toward him. "I- I wanted to see how she was doin'..."

Joel just nodded: "She's cross with you, but she'll appreciate that."

"Wait- you cool with me visiting her?" Walt halted, making Joel sigh and cross his arms.

"I am- unless you give me a reason not to be." He said and told the redhead not to push his luck. Walt just nodded and sat beside Joel.

"Would ya mind if I asked what happened?" Walt spoke, his green eyes falling on Joel's hazel ones.

"I do." Joel didn't look at him, focusing on the floor instead. "I don't wanna talk about it."

"Oh, I'm sorry."

"It's okay."

"It's just that, I saw Tommy and Maria talking with Eugene and I overheard how your relationship was ah..."

Joel's head snapped at Walt's words which trailed off: "Didn't I just say I don't wanna talk about it?"

"Right- you're right, I'm sorry." Walt apologised as Joel gave him an irritated look. "I am, really."

Joel turned his head forward and leaned back, sighing through his nose. He couldn't believe you would've ended up with Walt, of all the people in Jackson, if Ellie hadn't set you two up on Christmas- or, well, if he had died in that hospital while saving his daugh-

"I just wanna say," Walt interrupted Joel's train of thought. "She'll come around. She always does. I pulled off some real stupid shit ever since we became friends and she always forgave me. She's a good person."

Joel side eyed him: "Yeah, she is..."

"But don't tell me you're gonna wait here until she makes up her mind and decides to forgive you Lord knows when?" Walt chuckled. "You don't wait for someone that long..."

Joel turned his head toward him once more and straightened up, hands squeezing his arms tighter at his nonsense: "I am gonna wait. You bet your ass I will - as long as she wants me to. She's broken, but healing- and that kinda healin'?" He pointed at your room. "It takes a lotta time... She has all the time she needs to make up her mind- don't really care if it takes days or weeks. I'm heartbroken too, but in the end, I'll wait."

Walt's smile immediately dropped the second those words left Joel's lips. He was frozen on spot, totally humiliated and couldn't do anything as he added: "I don't expect you to understand. If you loved her like I do, you'd wait."

Joel could tell Walt wanted to be swallowed by a deep hole in the ground - he was utterly dumbfounded and clearly wasn't aware of how your relationship with Joel was love at its truest form.

"I think it's best if you leave now." Joel sighed once more, got up without sparing another look at the shocked man, then quietly walked into your room.

----

You woke up from a reoccurring nightmare right when the chatter outside had began. It's the same scenario: You're captured by Axel, but there are different endings sometimes.

Usually, it's just the image of Axel's ruined corpse. You knew you'd done some pretty fucked up things in the past as a FEDRA soldier and you acknowledged them, but none of them was as bad as this one, you thought. Beating a man to death to the point of bringing his insides out? Even though your acts were mostly justified in your head and by the people who knew the story, you simply couldn't believe you went as far as to torture him to death.

He was right, he did ruin you.

Sometimes, right before you're captured, he shoots Joel in the head while negotiating your surrender. This is the worst one next to the one when you let the darkness envelop you whole- let it embrace you and you end up losing everyone and everything, including your mind. Those are the ones that wake you up with a brutal scream, that has the nurses rushing into your room in panic.

Sometimes it'd be after he captured and tortured you: After hearing the gunshots from outside and fleeing, you'd die and wake up in cold sweat with trembling hands. Sometimes, one little mistake and either Tommy or Joel -or both- would die. Sometimes you'd die right in front of them- Axel would shoot back instead of running like a coward and the bullet would put a hole between your brows. The thing that scared you wasn't the dying bit, it was the fear of failure and agony you'd cause to your family: To Joel and Ellie, Tommy, Maria and to the others who cared for you. The way Joel told you not to go after Axel or to not do certain things echoed through your subconscious and you acknowledged just how right he was.

That was what you were afraid of.

Disappointment, disapproval and failure.

In this nightmare, however, you were going hand to hand with Gabe. You remembered how scared you'd felt when he pulled off that move with his legs, trapping your neck between his ankles with incredible flexibility and slamming you to the ground while you were trying to stab him, almost crushing your neck - that scene was replaying in your head, but in this version, he cut off your breathing and you could't get up on time when Joel pushed through. Just as he got into your line of vision to shoot him, however, Gabe reached for the pistol strapped to his thigh and shot Joel in the head; you woke up with a gasp, eyes wide and you were trembling everywhere. You were sweating as if you'd ran a marathon under the sun and your breathing was heavy just as much.

As you laid in the bed, stunned, you heard everything that was being said outside. At first you couldn't hear anything other than your breathing and heartbeat, but as you forced yourself to calm down, the voices got clearer and clearer: It was Walt and Joel.

Your teeth were about to crush from clenching them so tight, you still weren't processing the chatter completely, but you managed to understand only these words:

"If you loved her like I do, you'd wait."

You felt like you were paralyzed on spot, tears rolling out of the corners of your eyes and running down the side of your nose were mixing with the droplets of sweat formed around your face when you heard a soft knock on your door and the opening of it: "Hey..." You were looking bewildered, as if you'd seen some supernatural creature, making Joel alert: "Hey, are you alright?"

You just blinked a couple of times as you shook your head sideways. There was a barbed wire wrapped around your throat, you couldn't reply as he walked to your side, stood just above you and asked: "What's wrong, what happened?"

You were expecting Joel to give you a hug or- just caress your back- anything. But he didn't. He didn't touch you, or call you baby, sweetheart, darling...

Dolly...

For an insane second, the failure you were so afraid of came crashing down along with the lines he spoke outside, making you gasp after realising you'd been holding your breath: "Oh Joel," You finally reached out for him, voice cracking, which reminded him of when he pulled Ellie off of that cannibalistic maniac. He gently took your hand in his and immediately sat down beside you without wasting another second. "I'm so sorry-"

"Don't be sorry, darlin', you got nothing to apologise for." Joel put an arm around your shoulders, pulling you flush against his chest. You were his darlin' again, just like that. His chin rested on your head as you trembled and cried: "You heard what I said, didn't you?" He felt you nod against his chest: "I meant every word of it."

You two stayed like that for awhile. Joel eventually leaned back on the bed with you in his arms and let you snivel, tears of his own rolling down his cheeks and onto your pillow in the meanwhile. His hold never loosened around you: As if, if he let you go at that moment, he'd lose you forever. He suppressed the whines that were stuck in his throat - he didn't want to upset you furthermore, didn't want you feeling guilty than you already were.

"Let me look at you," You whispered after a long time, face pressed against his brown jacket you adored, his scent making it's way into your lungs despite your blocked nose.

Joel reluctantly pulled away then, letting you raise your head so that you could take a proper look at him. His eyes were puffy and wet, just like yours: "You got a lil' something on your nose, miss."

You giggled as he reached for napkins from behind him, stayed quiet and gazed into his eyes as he wiped your nose clean; then he moved onto your wet cheeks, then the corners of your eyes. He was so gentle with you, so gentle, that you almost cried again. He took another napkin and wiped the sweat around your temples, forehead and neck; once he was done, he put the napkin away, then looked into your eyes. You shook your head and looked down, embarrassed: "Will you ever forgive me? I-"

"Shh," Joel carefully grabbed your chin with his thumb and pointing finger, pushed your head up slowly and looked deep into your eyes: "I ain't mad or upset. I would've waited for as long as you needed, if it meant bein' yours again."

Your eyes looked away, feeling more ashamed than ever. After a moment of silence, you figured, you shouldn't be upset any longer -for his sake- and spoke: "Since when were you so fancy with words?"

He chuckled softly: "Ever since I figured you like 'em." You chuckled as well and looked lovingly into his eyes. "Know this, (Y/N): I'd do anything for you. Anything."

You realised then, that a kiss much needed by both parties was long overdue, so you leaned forward and attached your lips onto his, cupping his cheek. He kissed back, passionately and full of emotion with a hint of aching, acknowledging the fact that you'd do anything for him too. Neither of you were aware of Tommy and Ellie watching from the door, the younger Miller smiling to himself, then leaving you two be while your daughter watched her parents, finally reunited and in each other's arms.

Things escalated pretty quickly after that. Your healing improved massively, but the road ahead was still long. Your nightmares were still a thing, but you slept better, so you didn't complain. Everyone's moods had improved as well, the Millers were finally happy which boosted other people's morals. You and Joel did a lot of talking and explaining, promising each other that from then on, you'd be more open to each other about the things that disturb you. Joel had explained how one of Axel's guards had taken his jacket off of him before they left because he knew you'd try to escape and it'd be a convincing trap - you, most importantly, opened up to him about how you felt as you killed the man in question.

"You said that nothing could give you more joy than... killing him," Joel cleared his throat awkwardly. "Did you... did you really mean that?"

You stared and blinked. Of course it hadn't, it could never: "Do you actually think that brought joy to me?" Joel nodded sideways. He knew you didn't enjoy it of course. "You do know that, nothing brings more joy into my life than you- and Ellie, right?" You questioned with a tense expression. Had he really seen through you that clearly to assume that the act of torturing someone gave you joy? But you relaxed when Joel let out a relieved sigh, then nodded up and down. "There's never a single truth spoken on a battle if your aim is to anger or scare your opponent..."

"I know, it's just," Joel looked up at you from where he was seated. "I'd've never thought I'd see you like that. You were... you weren't yourself."

"Were you really surprised?" You asked. "Or were you scared?"

Joel thought on your words for a moment: "I guess... I guess I was scared an' upset. To see you like that- I love you darlin'. I wouldn't want anything makin' you like- like that. I... I almost thought I wasn't-"

It was you who nodded then, letting him sigh in a frustrated manner when he struggled to explain himself, but you understood him: "I know Joel... There are ugly sides to the both of us, but- Trust me, I know."

Tommy was glad Joel had found someone he could comfortably open up to like that, it made him happy to know that his brother was in good hands- your hands, unlike his ex-wife's. A month had passed ever since and you were allowed to leave the infirmary and move back in with your lover. You were able to walk without crutches but you needed someone's help like a pregnant lady who could give birth any minute and, 98% of the time, that someone was Joel, of course.

And as soon as you got home, on a chilly October evening...

"Missed me, did you?" Joel chuckled when you didn't let his hand go after he laid you down on your shared bed. You gave him a shy smile and tugged at his hand, biting your lip as he sat down beside you.

"I'm feeling a lot better because of you," You placed soft kisses on his knuckles. "I wasn't healing properly, you know, before we talked." Joel nodded slowly and returned the gesture on your unoccupied hand - your knuckles, the back of your hand and slowly turning your arm and kissing a trail down to your wrist as you continued: "I've wanted to kiss you for so long, to hold you and to be held by you - I got all of that... But there's another thing I want."

He was no fool, he knew exactly what you meant: "Hm? Whatever could that be?"

"Come closer and I'll tell you," You smirked and that line earned you a hungry kiss as your lover placed himself gently on top of you, getting rid of his clothes in the process.

"Oh, I've wanted this too, would you believe that?" Joel smiled into the crook of your neck as he unbuttoned his shirt.

"Really?" You said, your voice quiet in a whisper, as your fingers went under his shirt and trailed up his ribs. "What a coincidence."

Once his shirt came off and he stood above you, his hungry eyes eating you up with a stare which always had heat pooling between your legs, your playfulness dropped as you took in his features. It had been so long since you'd seen his body, you immediately noticed a few changes: Like a new small scar by the side of his chest and the weight loss, of course: "How much weight did you loose?"

"Well," Joel was caught a little off guard and since you were distracted, he slowly began undoing the buttons of your blouse, invisibly wincing at the few bruises decorating your skin. "I can't exactly know, can I?"

His playful tone put a smile on your lips regardless: "I'm serious Joel- is that a new scar?"

He quickly left your blouse's buttons and dipped down, grinded his aching member against yours, his lips finding yours in a hungry kiss. When you parted for the sake of getting some oxygen into your lungs, he spoke: "Darlin', it's been some time since we saw each other - it's nothin' to get upset over. Trust me." You nodded and smiled, hands cupping his ass and pushing them up to indicate that you required another kiss, which Joel gladly obliged: "There are more... pressing matters to attend to."

The best part about this sex was, almost nothing hurt. You had taken a good amount of painkillers before you left and, it was like he knew exactly where you were hurt from your encounter a month ago, so he placed his body on yours accordingly. He slowly moved his head down your neck and then to the valley of your breasts, your hands going into his hair as soon as his teeth were nibbling at your nipples, giving each an equal amount of attention which had you soaked already: "Oh Joel-"

"Yes baby," Joel hissed as he planted passionate kisses around your chest, leaving a wet trail on your breasts which he missed very much; he was having a hard time controlling his urge to decorate them along your shoulders and neck with different shades of red and blue, but of course he held back. Your blouse was all the way open as you rubbed your clothed core against his hard cock. Katherine had suggested that you wore a skirt to make things easier for you when you were getting ready to move out, which you had gladly accepted as wearing pants would be uncomfortable difficult... Little had you known it'd make things easier for Joel too.

Your thighs were bare - somehow, only your underwear was covered by the edges of the skirt and the sight almost made Joel moan, much to your delight, so you grabbed him through his underwear and heard the most beautiful sound as a result: "Fuck, (Y/N)," Joel groaned, face twisted up in yearning and pleasure, which inevitably made you moan. "I don't wanna hurt you, baby."

"You won't," You pleaded as he leaned down and pressed his forehead against yours while settling between your legs, his grip on your thighs were somewhere between hard and soft. "I'll tell you if anything hurts, I promise, but for the love of god, just fuck me Joel."

This was probably a stupid idea. The activity would be too tiring for your body and the last thing Joel wanted to do was cause you distress instead of pleasure, but that was just unfair to the man. It was as if you were provoking him to play rough, because despite what you had told him about letting him know if anything hurt, he still was going to hold back... but what you said afterwards gave him all the permission he needed. Your wish was his command.

His pupils dilated before he lifted your skirt up and dipped his head between your legs, pulling your underwear aside and licking a long stripe up your folds after giving your inner thigh a gentle bite. You gasped loudly, his tongue brushing directly over your clit: "God- fuck!" You were loud, but you didn't care, because he was eating you up just like a man who hadn't eaten anything in a month - which was exactly his case. This felt like the first time again. His tongue expertly worked you to your orgasm, licking between your lips as his beard scratched your inner thighs from time to time; holding you down with his arms around your legs, parting them wider and moving his tongue in a variety of directions as he made you moan over and over again. He hummed against your pussy but suddenly stopped and got up to his knees. You whined at the contact loss, never having felt more disappointed in your life: "Joel..."

He quickly but carefully climbed on top of you, then laid down beside you, diving his fingers between your folds and making them linger around your entrance. With a deep kiss, he inserted a finger into you and you thought you were gonna come right then and there at the feeling. You were partly trapped between his body and the bed and you loved it, moans stuck at the back of your throat as you made out a little roughly, his finger an absolute bliss as it reclaimed its place inside you.

"Joel," You gasped. "More... I need more."

"Hm?" Joel groaned into your ear. "More of what?"

"You- Ah-" You moaned when he inserted a second digit inside your walls, leaving you scratching at his back and possibly leaving a few marks in the process. "Fuck..."

"I bet you missed this, huh?" Joel growled quietly into your ear, grinding his erection to the side of your leg as he stretched you with his thick fingers. "I know I did, seeing you like this..."

"Yes," You moaned, your hand going to grab his cock as he lightly sucked hickeys onto your lower neck and collarbone. Joel moaned when you did, a thrill went down your spine at how hard he was and when he unintentionally thrusted his hips up in your hand, your eyes rolled to the back of your head: "Ohh Joel, t-touch me-"

He thrusted his hips one more time into your hand and as soon as his thumb brushed against your clit, a not so subtle and a rather pornographic moan left your lips, head falling back on the pillows with your grip on his shoulders and nails embedded in his skin. You held onto him for dear life as he fingered you through your orgasm, the wet sounds driving him wild: "There you go, baby, you did so well..."

His words of praise and encouragement weren't lost among your shallow breaths - your body was trembling, not having had such a powerful orgasm in a long time took a toll on you. You'd never seen Joel this desperate and shaky too, like a teenager who was about to have sex for the first time (not that your case was any different).

"Does it hurt?" Joel asked while carefully spreading your legs apart. "When I hold you here?" He grabbed your waist gently - you nodded yes. You weren't exactly sure why it hurt, but you must've taken a few hits there. "Okay... How about here?" His hands smoothly moved to your hips and when you made his hands squeeze a little tighter and noticed you were okay, you nodded no. "Good... I'm gonna turn you over, yeah? Is that okay?"

You nodded, and helped him turn you around and lay your lower body on the pillows. He gently placed your legs as far away from each other without hurting you, exposing your glistening pussy and presenting your ass to him in the perfect angle. A rather animalistic grunt left his lips at the sight, but still he made sure you were okay: "You alright baby?"

"Yes..." You moaned eagerly, secretly not really looking forward to the pain you had to endure for a short while before adjusting to his size again - but you needed him, which was enough to take your mind off the pain. Plus, it was going to be like your first time with him, which was an out-of-earth experience; you were excited that you were going to relive something similar to that again.

At first, his hands pressed down on the bed so he didn't apply pressure to you from anywhere as he lined himself up and pushed slightly. You were already stretched by Joel's thick fingers -which you had missed oh so much- and you were absolutely soaked, it took you only a moment to adjust and let him move deeper into you. He lightly snapped his hips into you, making you moan simultaneously.

"F-fuck-!... You good sugar?" Joel whispered, in an unintentionally seductive tone, which made you clamp down on his length. "Fuck..."

"Yes, yes, yes, Joel-" You whined, absolutely losing your mind over the way he filled you up. "Fuck, ohmygod, please-"

"Shit," Joel growled and started to push in and out of you at a very gentle pace. "You feel so good- Oh Dolly, I'm gonna fuck you so good, darlin'-"

"Yes!" You cried out, tears at the corners of your eyes from the immense pleasure you were receiving. "I'm all yours- ahh~"

Being embarrassed by the noises you made was thrown out of the window a long time ago, thank goodness, otherwise you would've been a little too self-conscious about how loud you were and how much you talked or made noises in general. Joel was exactly in the same state, you two just couldn't keep your mouths shut even if you didn't say a word - neither of you were complaining about the other being loud, of course, it was delightful.

Your jaw hung open when he started going a little faster and harder, your mind going blank at how big and good he felt from this angle, the small bites you felt around the back of your neck wasn't helping your case in any way. You could only hold onto the pillows your head was resting on and moan into the soft material as he reclaimed what was always his.

You could tell he was having a hard time to not grab your hips, or ass, or any part of you; so you decided to spare him the agony and grabbed his wrist which was right next to your head: "Joel, oh- wait..."

"Did I hurt you?" He immediately froze on spot.

"No, no," You reassured him, a whisper of a moan leaving your bruised lips. "Help me up?"

He was confused at what you meant, but quickly got the idea once you pushed yourself on your knees. This position was particularly one of his favourites and you, despite your current state, wanted nothing more than to be railed by this man at the moment and he did it best when he held you close and slammed into you from behind.

You got on your knees and spread them wider, lowering your lower body down while you supported your upper with your arms; Joel immediately pressed his body against yours, hugged your frame with an arm across your chest and pushed into you once more, getting the loveliest sound out of you: "Look at you- couldn't even wait to heal properly..." He growled into your ear, biting the shell of it gently. He groped your breast with the hand on your chest and pinched your nipple between his pointing and middle fingers, which had you throwing your head back right onto the crook of his neck. He kissed your cheek as he continued pounding into you: "You like it when I fuck you like this, huh?"

"Yes," You whined, face twisted up in utter pleasure and somewhat overstimulation. "So good, Joel, so fucking good~"

You felt his hand, which wasn't on your chest, suddenly lift off the bed and sneak down to your clit, causing you to arch your back and have Joel deeper inside you, if that was even possible at this point and a few strokes to your clit had you coming undone around his cock with a high pitched moan.

"Shit," Joel growled and pulled out right before he came, spilling his seed all over your back and ass. The both of you saw the stars because of how powerful the orgasm was, taking a while to recollect yourselves and just panting and trembling. Joel tiredly reached for napkins which were on the nightstand and wiped you clean with them, gently turning you around and laying on your back. He rested his head right below the valley of your breasts, he couldn't seem to catch his breath; you ran your fingers through his hair slowly, looking at the ceiling then chuckling: "Was that too much for you, cowboy?"

He chuckled lightly: "No... maybe..."

You giggled at the exhaustion in his voice, then placed a kiss on the top of his head; a gesture which made him look up, then rise himself a little upwards so he looked directly down at you. You gave him a warm smile and a quizzical look, then, finally he whispered: "(Y/N)..."

"Joel?" You flashed your teeth at him when your smile widened. You really wouldn't know what to do without him, you could confidently say that he was the love of your life.

And, just like he had read your mind, with a shy smile stretched across his lips, he spoke, voice husky yet silvery:

"(Y/N), will you marry me?"

[brucewayneargento-moved]

To All My Fathers (Chapter 1)

Summary: Damian Wayne, a fourteen year old with Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia, goes onto a road trip with the four men who shaped him as a person before his bone marrow transplant.

Fic also avaliable on FF.net

Damian had definitely decided he would not wear a fanny pack.

It didn't matter that it was the most convenient and comfortable way to take a chemo pump iv from place to place. He'll much rather attract attention with a backpack connected to a pump than to regress back to the eighties in the most horrendous fashion. Sure he might pick up unwanted attention from strangers but A) He could always stare at them back; B) He was past the time to care and C) He already didn't have eyebrows so that was kind of a moot point.

The boy was currently seated at the med bed of the 666 room. (Drake had made several jokes about it, which Damian didn't mind and in fact encouraged, because with his diagnosis came a morbid sense of humor and he was also glad at least one person still treated him like a human being). He was practicing violin while he could still hold it and also enjoying the fact that he was wearing actual comfortable clothes and not a paper robe that made his autism completely and utterly fucking lose it.

Some kids from the other rooms had come to see him perform and Damian loved to have an audience. Because he had an ego, not as much and not as evil as people usually thought, but still. Most of them were children younger than ten who just needed some entertainment that wasn't a superhero.

"This was Ode To Joy by Bethoveen," Damian explained. The three children around him applauded. When they stopped he could still hear hands clapping, he looked up and his eyes met his father's.

Bruce came closer to him and the kids left after being called by a nurse. Boy and man looked at each other for a few seconds.

"Are you ready?" Bruce finally asked

Damian might have sounded insane if he said it outloud, but his father and Jon were very similar.

The blue eyes, the black hair and the fact that they both cried before or after entering a room with Damian in it, bonus points if he was being stabbed with a needle right at that moment, then you could see their eyes getting crystalized almost in slow motion.

And it's not like Damian was annoyed by their emotions as one might have thought, it was more of a...sting, (man being stabbed with a needle on a daily basis was really taking a toll on him, wasn't it?) like, something that hurt but it wasn't enough for him to do anything about it more than to grit his teeth and power through it.

Numbness was apparently a common thing among patients. But Damian thought of himself as many stuff, but common wasn't one of them

And perhaps his ego was the only thing keeping him optimistic, perhaps thinking that he was too special to die alone in a hospital room was what made him stronger against the whole GvHD thing.

Leslie had told him that he was lucky to find a donor that was relatively near, in Kansas nonetheless, home of Superman and. So now he had just to keep up with the program: L-asparaginase,dexamethasone and vincristine several times a day and wait.

Or at least that was the original plan.

"Yes." he finally answered, standing up.

When all you receive in your life is gaslighting, you don't even notice the medical gaslighting.

Maybe it was the whole "being indoctrinated since birth by an ecoterrorist death cult" thing but his ability to exercise his free will hadn't been particularly developed.

The bruises? Vigilante stuff. The fever? Probably the flu. Weight loss? Maybe he had gotten a growth spurt that just made him seem thinner…He had to throw up blood to even be admitted into a hospital.

The Wayne-Head name allowed him the finest care probably ever known to man. "Nepotism: where you can die comfortably" that was an actual thing he had said while high on sedatives. He could only imagine his mother's face upon hearing it.

When he woke up both his parents were there. Damian could immediately tell something was wrong. His father was crying and his mother was stoic.

"Oh, ok, so I'm dying" He said, grabbing their attention. Both Talia and Bruce turn to look at him. Damian tried to sit and noticed his arm was cranked to an IV. "Oh, I'm actually dying."

"Do not speak like that." His mother warned him with a threatening voice. Bruce kept quiet but still with a face wet with tears.

Next to them there was a third person. She was an older woman with gray hair and glasses. Doctor Thompkins, his father's godmother. She went over to the medbed and sat on the foot. Damian crossed his arms. She was a smart woman but had the annoying habit of treating him like a perpetual child. Probably the closest thing he had to an actual grandmother.

"Damian," she fixed her glasses and looked at the clipboard she was holding. "Your blood count is in the 200.000 white cells."

Damian's eyes slightly widened, which covertly hid how much of a gut punch he just received.

"I can't have leukemia," he simply stated. There was a slight pained sound coming from his father's mouth which made Damian look him in the eye…that's how he knew it was true.

He started to grin which turned into a giggle which turned into a laugh.

Bruce and Talia looked at him with worry.

"Denial is very common," Leslie stated, trying to remain calm and also sooth Damian up. The teen kept laughing and then stopped to talk.

He had tears in his eyes. "I mean... so much for being an eugenics frankenstein monster, I've failed at even that."

The rest of that afternoon was a blur for him. Except for the being stabbed with needles on his spine parts, that one he remembered very well. Since he had such a high tolerance for pain, the fact that he was casually hurt was news to him.

Of course Dick had been the first one to enter the room.

Damian had hoped that he wasn't but after all it made sense that he did, he was his Robin. He could imagine him punching a wall and screaming when he heard the news. That mental image didn't upset him at all, clearly.

Damian was pretending to watch TV where his oldest brother entered the scene. He had prepared what he was going to say. How he was okay and how he was too stubborn to die anyways. But all of that went to hell when Dick entered the room and immediately ran up to hug him.

All of the walls he had been building up until now feel down hard. Damian just had to press his head against Dick's shoulder for the tears to start running.

"I want a falafel."

They were in the hospital room after a particularly hard session of chemo. His brother was on a chair in front of him reading a book and not looking at him.

"You just threw up on my shoe," he reminded Damian.

"I'm here for a good time, not a long time"

Dick rolled his eyes, now accustomed to the fact that his sibling had developed a morbid sense of humor because of his condition. Right at that moment the door opened and Doctor Thompkins entered the room.

"How are we?" She asked.

"Great." Both responded almost robotically. Damian gagged.

"I wanted to talk to you, Dick, about the bone marrow transplant."

"Why not talk to me?" Damian intervened. "I'm the one whose blood isn't working."

"Because you're still a child," Dick answered as a matter of fact. And despite everything he was glad his older brother at least now had the courtesy of treating him like he had always done. "What's the prognosis, doc?"

"We're considering the umbilical cord transfusion." Leslie explained. "But you will have to ask my godson first.

"Why would he need to...wait...Selina's pregnant?!" Damian asked but then he threw up again. "That wasn't meant to signify my feelings on the matter."

Leslie continued. "But that will still take a few months and...I'm afraid we don't have that much time."

Damian pretended to gag and looked down at the bucket, all to avoid looking at Dick's face.

"But the good news is that we found a match."

Damian hadn't even had time to think about that sentence before he blurted it out, but now it was there, out in the open. For everyone to hear.

"I want to have children."

Everyone being an hyperbole since Alfred was the one who was actually there. His father had to go to patrol so the butler had the night shift to take care of Damian while at the hospital to which the boy was appreciative of. Except for this moment when he was mentally slapping himself for letting on too much. Side effects of being raised to be a killing machine.

"I...did not know that." Alfred admitted. Up to twelve seconds ago he had been standing up listing the symptoms of chemo at Damian's request since he didn't trust Leslie to do it without sugarcoating it and his father might burst into tears in an attempt to do so. Damian had been listening attentively before Alfred mentioned that it was possible that he might wind up being infertile.

The boy simply turned around to the other side of the bed and sighed as tears left his eyes.

Dear Damian

I could not be more content that you are receiving the transplant that you so much need. I wish I could accompany you on the journey to Kansas, but sadly Lady Talia needs me to look out after Bialya...I wish you nothing but a rapid recovery. I implore you to remember that you are not alone in this, to remember that there is a plethora of people that adore you with all of their souls and that you will always have their help. Even when you do not want it.

Best Wishes

Ravi.

Damian looked at Alfred who glanced at him for a nanosecond in the mirror of the car. He knew he was the most active ally he had in this game. Since he not only advocated to his father for this trip to be possible but he also was the only person to always show his compassion in spite of if he actually deserved it or not. Bruce was next to him while Richard sat next to Damian and assesed his condition.

They stayed in comfortable silence in the car with only the sound of "dad music" on the radio for background noise. Damian allowed himself to close his eyes and to feel the soothing bounce of the car against the pavement on his skin...

They stopped suddenly after a while and Damian opened his eyes, he frowned in confusion as Alfred parked the car in front of the airport.

"What are we doing here?" he asked curiously.

Alfred turned around to look at him. "Your father , Master Richard and I thought It'll be a good idea to fly in a friend of yours."

Damian's frown deepened. "A friend?"

Suddenly a tap was heard on the window. They both turned around to look at the front window. It was being slightly knocked on it by a man with a white cane and a bald head who was smiling at them.

"Ravi?" Damian rubbed his eyes and felt them watering up.

Damian knew that he could never make up to Ravi for being responsible for losing his vision. And he also knew that in spite of that the man would still love him unconditionally.

That could be proven easily by the letters that he had written to him when he found out about his diagnosis…

All his father figures were here, suddenly he felt an internal strength he hadn't felt in a while.

[dripkingpetey]

us-j.virtanen

a/n:ahh okay omg, this was supposed to be the fic for me hitting 100 followers (thank you btw🥺 ) but i’ve had no motivation so here's a jakey fic!

1660 words

“Sorry that was kind of a dick move,” Jake mumbled as he tried to wipe the ice off of your body and shot an apologetic smile at you. “It’s all good, Petey does it to me all the time. It made a pretty sick shot though, wanna check it out?” You quickly accepted his apology and showed Jake the photo you had just taken of him, the extra flurries from Jake skating flew perfectly into the camera and a cheeky smirk was plastered across his face in the picture. “Woah that’s sick!” Jake exclaimed while taking another look at the photo. “I feel really bad though, you’re all soaked now. Let me take you out to lunch as an apology?”

You knew about jakes reputation, how he’s the biggest player in town and he would probably never talk to you again but that didn’t stop you from accepting his offer. Although you were pretty good friends with Petey and Quinn, you haven’t had many conversations with Jake so you agreed.

“I’d stay and talk for longer but coach is going to get mad at me if I do, meet you back here after practice?” Jake started skating back into his drills as you gave him a big thumbs up and continued on working. 

You were one of the main photographers for the Canucks which is what led you to being friends with most of the guys on the team.

“Hey, sorry it took me so long. Coach was talking about the next road trip.” He shoved his wet hair back away from his face while seeing if you were ready to go. “It’s alright, I had to talk to the pr team anyways. What were you thinking of for lunch?” You smiled at him before he lead you out to his car. “There’s a new lunch place downtown I was thinking we could check out?” He suggested as he opened the door to his car and motioned for you to get in.

“I had a really fun time with you today y/n, we should go out for lunch again sometime.” Jake grinned at you at he walked you up to your apartment. “I did too,” you said as he pulled you in for a quick friendly hug, you and Jake quickly exchanged numbers before you headed into your apartment.

-

It had been a couple months since you and Jake had gone out. You guys were pretty good friends at this point, going out for lunch all the time cause its your “thing” now. Sharing occasional drunk late-night conversations, going over to check on his apartment when he was out on long road trips and spending a couple nights there cause you missed him. 

a couple of the younger guys were going out to the bar for drinks and they invited you to go as well. You couldn’t help but stare at Jake as he was talking to a girl at the bar, you guys have never done anything romantically before but you knew the feelings for him were there. You were usually fine with Jake talking to other girls but for some reason you couldn’t help but feel jealous.

“Dude you look like you’re going to kill her,” Quinn chuckled and shot a concerned look at you as he took a sip of his drink. “Do I?” You sighed as you leaned your head onto his shoulder and kept on staring at Jake and the beautiful girl he was talking to. You tried to shake everything off as you saw the girl walking away and Jake getting a refill for his alcoholic beverage.

Your anxiety was at an all time high as Jake made his was back to the table everyone was sitting at, you weren’t sure if it was the fact that you had poured your feelings out to Elias about Jake last night or cause you were feeling a bit tipsy. The night came to an end as everyone started heading home, a few went home with girls they had met doing god knows what and the rest just went home by themselves which left you and Jake alone.

“C’mon, I’ll take you home y/n it’s too late.” Jake said as he got into the Uber with you because he had a couple of drinks and didn’t want to drive. “Can we go to your place? I don’t want to be alone tonight.” You mumbled just loud enough so Jake could hear you as you settled your head into his chest. “Yeah of course.” 

It wasn’t unusual for you and Jake to be this close, if anyone who’s never met you before saw the both of you together they would assume that you guys were in a relationship.

“Those clothes are probably uncomfortable for you to sleep in, I found your shorts in my drawer and here’s my shirt.” Jake said to you as you were laying down on his bed lazily and slowly pulled yourself up and took the clothes from him. “Thank you,”

You got changed quickly in the en-suite bathroom and went back to Jake room when you were greeted by Jake pulling his sweatpants up and his shirtless body, it wasn’t anything you’ve never seen before but tonight everything felt different. You were more attracted to him but you kept on convincing yourself it was the alcohol taking a toll on you. “Is my toothbrush still in the bathroom? Or should I grab a new one.” You asked Jake trying to distract all of the thoughts that were going on in your head. “Yeah its probably there,” Jake headed into the bathroom to brush his teeth as well and you followed him. 

As weird as it sounds, standing in Jakes bathroom brushing your teeth felt right. It felt like a part of your daily routine even though it wasn’t, you were once again distracted in your thoughts but snapped out of it and flinched a little when Jake wrapped his arms around your waist and kissed the top of your head. “What are you thinking about?” 

You quickly spat out your toothpaste and rinse your mouth as you turned around to look at him. “Nothing, just sleepy.” You smiled before wrapping your arms around him for a hug. “You’re really warm,” You giggled into Jakes chest as he picked you up and brought you to his bed. “And tired, get into bed so we can snuggle. Jake got into bed and spread his arms for you to get close to him. “You act like such a tough dude when you’re actually a baby.” You scoffed laying down right where he wanted you to and got comfortable. “Yeah I am, and you’re the only one that knows.” Jake settled his head right behind your neck and started falling asleep almost right away, you scrolled on your phone for a little bit while enjoying his company before falling asleep as well. 

You were woken by Bruce and Donny jumping all over you when Jake let the dogs into his room which he regretted immediately. “Guys! Come here.” You could hear Jake whisper yell trying not to wake you up. “It’s okay Jake I’m already up anyways,” you reassured him am you went to pet the dogs and smiled at how cute they are. 

“Sorry,” Jake mumbled laying down in front of you and admired how gorgeous you looked although you would disagree. “You look beautiful,” Jake smiled and moved closer to you. You smiled and took the compliment not wanting to argue with him. “Will you kiss me already?” You mumbled under your breath as Jake inched his face closer and closer to yours. Jake lifted your face to meet with his as he leaned in and pressed his lips on yours, you lifted your hands to grip his face gently and pulled away from him for a second so the both of you could get air before you continued the kiss. “Fuck,” Jake huffed under his breath and brushed his hair out of his face while you looked at his bright blue eyes. You guys ended up in a heated make-out session which ended in something more.

“Tell me why we haven’t been doing this,” You breathed out heavily as you were laying on top of jakes chest. “I truly couldn’t tell you.” He planted a kiss on the top of your head before playing with your hair.  

You ended up spending the rest of your weekend at Jakes place, you were sitting on Jakes couch thinking about what you guys were right now. There was no label on the relationship but you knew that you wanted something more than being friends with him.

“What’s on your mind?” Jake turned down the country music he had blasting in the kitchen so he could hear you, he filled up the dogs food bowls and sat on the arm of the couch so he could talk to you. “Us,” You looked at him trying to avoid eye contact. “What about us?” Jake questioned while petting Bruce who was dying for attention. “I don’t know, are we labelling this or are we just going to not talk about it ever again?” You questioned him, feeling a little frustrated for no reason. “ I mean, I would like for it to be exclusive. I’ve never felt this way about anyone else but you and I don’t think I want to feel this way about anyone but you. I know I have the player reputation or whatever but I mean it, I really like you.” Nothings ever made you more happy than those words coming out of Jakes mouth. “I feel the same way too Jake,” You moved closer to him and gave him a quick kiss before sitting back down. 

“As much as I’d like for this to be romantic, we’re pathetic aren’t we.” You laughed as Jake nodded and agreed with you. “We are,”

[dc41896]

Winter Wonderland

Pairing: Ransom DrysdalexBlack Reader

⚠️: Ransom being a tiny bit of a jerk, the usual fluff

Sat on the couch comfortably wrapped in your boyfriend’s burnt orange throw blanket, your eyes stay glued to the meteorologist pointing to the map on the wide screen in front of you as you mindlessly bite your thumbnail.

“This again?,” Ransom asks returning from his shower to sit next to you. Forest green tee shirt over his black sweatpants, the scent of sandalwood wafting off his skin brings you closer eventually resting your head on his shoulder while you silently take in a couple deep breaths to savor the smell. “What, are you trying to be a weatherwoman now or something?”

“No, I’m just trying to stay updated. You know, watching to see if it’ll maybe rain or snow...”

Moving his laptop from the glass coffee table to his lap, soon his fingers tap away at the keyboard below as he tries to answer emails he missed while being away with you and your family for Thanksgiving.

“Hopefully it doesn’t. I’ve got too much to do for the power to be turning off.”

“...It would be nice to see though you know?”

“Mm,” he simply replies, mind still comprehending the email from his assistant with his schedule for the upcoming month.

“Snow covering the ground perfect to make snow angels or a snowman with a cute little scarf and carrot nose. Ooh and maybe a snowball fight-!”

“You sound like a kid who’s never seen snow before,” he chuckles. Noticing your extended silence, he sits up meeting your innocent eyes as you play with one of the tassels from the blanket. “You’ve never seen snow, have you?”

“I mean yeah in movies and pictures, but never in person. Remember, it doesn’t really get that cold where I live.”

Only four months in, your relationship was still fairly new. And most of that time he was flying to see you, which was slightly concerning at first. Once he told you about his dysfunctional family though, and you briefly heard it firsthand, it made sense why he wanted to get as far away as possible.

It was just a small mistake when some of his business documents were sent to his parents’ house, but of course they assumed it was his sly way of asking for money. Not even giving him a chance to explain, a shouting match soon ensued and hence why Thanksgiving was spent with your parents.

He still wanted you to come visit to show you his home, where he grew up, and some of his favorite places especially since you showed him yours. He’d just have to be extra careful to avoid any of his family members or those who worked at his grandfather’s home if the two of you went to town.

So far though, you two didn’t have to worry since you’d either been happily snuggled on the couch or in bed since you arrived.

“Well, it’s more of a pain than anything. You need the right tires to drive on the road and even then you have to worry about them being too slick. Then sometimes the snow is like mush that basically starts melting as soon as it falls, and don’t even get me started on the shoveling,” he rants as the small smile on your face slightly falls.

“Yea I’ve uh heard that it’s not so great once you get used to it,” you respond turning the channel to some random movie before handing him the remote. “Looks like it’s not gonna snow anyway though so no worries.”

“Good, I’ll be able to make all of my meetings then.”

As you sat in silence, Ransom could feel that you were disappointed about the sunny and clear forecast. He still stood by all the negative things he said earlier, but he also remembered how excited he’d get as a kid once it started to get colder. That meant snow would eventually come, bringing snow days from school and playing all day in the backyard. That is until his mother would yell at him from the back door not to mess up his clothes or send the nanny out to get him if she felt he wasn’t listening.

Hearing your soft snores, he carefully removes his phone from his pocket, moving his typing from his laptop to the smaller device in his hand as he sends a quick text to someone who might be able to help.

———

The soft chime of your alarm from the bedside table causes you to mentally groan as you reach to silence it before it could disturb Ransom. However feeling his arm tighten around your waist bringing you closer to his bare chest, you could see you were too late.

“Sorry babe. Go back to sleep, you still have time before your meeting,” you whisper.

“No,” he mumbles, face falling to the crook of your neck making you giggle from the sensation of his breathing paired with his pouted lips against your skin.

“Can you let go then? I have to log in for work.” Shaking his head, you roll your eyes at how clingy he could be under that tough, careless facade. “Ransom come on it’s my last workday before Christmas so I can’t call out. As soon as I’m done though you can have me all to yourself okay?”

His only response is silence as you try to escape his grip thinking he drifted back to sleep. You’re slightly startled as your body is turned to face your boyfriend with his eyes still closed and a tired yet playful smirk gracing his lips.

“I already took care of work for you,” he replies opening one eye while the other stayed pressed against the plush pillow.

“What do you mean?”

“That you don’t need to worry about work until the new year.”

“How? You just told my boss I wouldn’t be in for a while and she said okay?”

“Well darling as you know I can be very persuasive,” he cockily states with a wink. Sitting up with arms crossed over your chest, he chuckles at your unamused expression sitting up himself to lean against the headboard. “I told her how I had a secret trip planned for us and asked if you could be out until you were due to be back in January. She said you had the time so it was okay and for us to have fun. If you don’t believe me call her yourself.”

“How long have you had this planned? And where is this secret trip too?,” you finally speak trusting his words.

“A while now, and it wouldn’t be a secret anymore if I told you dear.”

“Then how am I supposed to pack for said trip honey?,” you ask matching his sarcasm.

“Already took care of that too. All you have to do is get ready so we can leave in a couple hours,” he smiles gently grabbing your chin to kiss your lips. “Unless you want to go to work then-,”

“No, I’ll get dressed!” Giving him one last peck as you crawl over his relaxed form, he chuckles watching you excitedly hurry to the bathroom to start your morning routine.

After both of you were dressed and Ransom placed your packed bags in the trunk of his newly rented Range Rover, his hand stops you from entering the passenger side slightly confusing you.

“It’s a surprise remember?,” he smirks pulling a black blind fold out of his jacket pocket.

“You know, this is how a handful of those lifetime movies start before the main character goes missing and her family then sets out to find the boyfriend even though he swears he’s innocent,” you state making him deeply chuckle as he finishes tying the cloth over your eyes.

“Relax, you’re fine. Plus how do I know this isn’t like those movies where the gorgeous girlfriend acts all innocent and sweet until she gets her boyfriend away so she can kill him and take all his stuff before moving on to her next victim?”

“Touché. I guess we’re gonna have to trust each other then.”

“I guess so,” he laughs kissing your cheek before carefully helping you in your seat and closing the door behind you. The drive there didn’t seem too long as you and Ransom talked about everything from each of your favorite vacations over the years to his new book ideas and what was soon to be published under his company. Of course you tried to get him to slip and say where you were going and what he had planned, but his lips remained sealed.

Every time you asked, he’d just chuckle telling you to be patient before kissing the back of your hand.

Soon enough your questions would be answered as the car slowed while it turned maintaining the same speed until coming to a complete stop. “Are we there? Can I take off the blindfold now?,” you excitedly ask.

“Go ahead before you bounce a hole in the seat.”

Removing the cloth, you blink your eyes adjusting to the brightness of the remaining daylight outside before they can focus on what was exactly in front of you. Dark brown wooden outside with a blue green roof and stone chimney, the modern looking cabin with wrap around porch peering into the surrounding woods on one side and the calm lake on the other.

“I hope your silence isn’t because you’re currently regretting coming with me,” he speaks peering at you with soft crystal blue eyes. Leaning over the middle console, your hand finds the back of his neck bringing him closer to connect your lips with his.

“It’s beautiful! The perfect Christmas getaway,” you smile.

“Well not perfect yet. This is just part one of your surprise.”

“Ransom, you don’t-,”

“I know, I don’t have to. As you see though, we’re here so are we gonna sit in the car and stare at it or go inside?,” he smirks before getting out to open your door.

You weren’t surprised to find the inside just as charming as it’s outside view. The modern, minimalistic aesthetic along with high vaulted ceiling and open concept made it seem as if there was no end in sight for the cozy cabin. From it’s overall inviting warmth enveloping you as soon as the both of you crossed the threshold, you weren’t sure if your boyfriend, or anyone, would get you to leave when the time eventually came.

Once settled and full of dinner made from what was in the fully stocked fridge and freezer, courtesy of his assistant, you could feel the day’s toll finally weighing on you as multiple yawns escaped your mouth and eyelids began to droop.

“Don’t fall asleep on me yet, you still have your last surprise to see,” he chuckles gently nudging your arm.

“Ransom seriously everything has been more than enough. What else could you possibly have planned?,” you sleepily smile peering up at him through partially opened lids. Gently pulling you up with him, he guides you to the porch with muscular, sweater covered arms wrapped on your chest just under your neck. He places a kiss on the top of your head as you lean back into his broad chest admiring the bright crescent moon along with the shimmering stars scattered behind it in the black sky.

“Although I do love gazing at the moon with you, and think this is a really nice surprise, it’s getting cold,” you speak feeling the vibrations of his quiet laugh through his chest.

“You really need to work on your patience dear,” he whispers, lips resting next to your ear. Watching the breath from your nose turn to smoke, you soon see something fall from above making you slightly lean forward to see if your eyes were deceiving you. Sure enough, a similar white speck descended with a small swirl as you gently gripped Ransom’s arm gasping. As more and more fell, you reach out over the banister feeling bits of cold ice touch your palm before melting into miniature puddles.

“Is this real?!”

“No, there’s a man on the roof with a wind machine. Yes, it’s real honey,” he chuckles kissing your cold cheek.

“But the forecast said there was none coming.”

“Yea for where we were. That’s why I brought you a bit further north where it usually snows around this time of year. Luckily it still happened or else everything would’ve been ruined.”

Turning to face him, your arms wrap around his neck as you reach on your tip toes to deeply kiss his lips. You prop your chin on his chest, adoringly looking up at your boyfriend with a soft smile.

“Yea no snow would’ve been a bit of a bummer, but everything would still be wonderful because I’m here with you.”

“Stop you’re gonna make me blush,” he dismisses with a dramatic wave making you giggle.

For the next few moments, you both comfortably stand in each other’s arms with your head now lying on his chest gazing at the steady falling flurries, and Ransom doing the same finding himself truly happy to see snow for the first time in a long while.

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[shikastemari]

— goal; shikatemadai. ࿐ྂ。

written for Shikadai Week 2019 | day 02 - betrayal

words | 1704

rating | K

warning | none

a/n | i have no clue where i was heading with this and i made this way more dramatic than it probably should’ve (honestly, there’s someone rubbing off on me a lot lately) but here it is. also, maybe, there’ll be a part two but who knows, i don’t really like doing those.  👀

masterlist in bio

-

Shikadai never understood why the hell his parents cared so much about sports.

Yes, the two of them were respected shinobi, known worldwide by their actions in the last Shinobi War, but somehow, Shikadai doubt his father could run a mile without his smoker lungs taking a toll on him, and his mother, although incredibly talented, probably hadn’t cardio exercises as her strongest suit. 

So, the fact both were fanatic over football just made the young Nara head to hurt.

He didn’t even have to ask why both of them were arguing when he got home from school. Him being 12 years old, he had seen how argumentative both get every time a World Cup starts. Shikamaru always liked to point it out how weak Suna strategics to win games were, and Temari was a fan of showing how many times Konoha could lose opportunities to win the matches.

In other words, all of it was a real drag.

Shikadai tried to sneak in without making too much noise. If he wanted to reach his room, he would have to go through the living room, where the loud screams and curses were coming from. They were usually bad, but when the game was Konoha versus Suna? 

They were unbearable.

He was sure his father didn’t even like soccer that much, that he would do it just to piss his mom off. She was a huge fan since Shikadai could remember. The woman wanted him to learn how to kick before even learning the family jutsu’s, she was that obsessed.

“See? Your team sucks!” Temari’s cheerful voice reached his ear. Suna was probably winning if she was happy.

“Temari, we both know Suna’s goalkeeper suck. The penalties are about to start, we are still in the game,” Shikamaru retorted.

Passing through the living room, giving one quick glance to tv and he noticed the players getting together in a line, middle field. The game ended up in a tie, and now it was going straight for penalties. His parents would be hard to handle after it’s over.

“Shikadai, we didn’t see you there,” his father pointed out and the boy noticed too late he stopped to stare at the tv for too long. “Now that you are here, you can help me to put some sense into your mom’s head.”

“Dai, tell him our goalies are the best and we can totally crush his team,” Temari said, narrowing a copy of his own eyes to her husband.

Shikamaru had a cigarette on his lips, but it wasn’t lit. Temari imposed a very strict rule of no smoking inside the house. Shikadai knew it meant his father was nervous, not actually believing Konoha could win against Suna.

“Tem, the guy literally couldn’t defend a goal from Kiri. It was just terrible to watch, and you know that” Shikamaru looked at his son, waiting for some backup. He chose to remain in silence, though, earning a sigh from his father.

“It happens! It doesn’t mean he’s bad because he screwed up one time,” Temari argued.

“He did it against Iwa as well,” Shikamaru raised an eyebrow.

“He isn’t bad if he screwed up tw-”

“Remember when he-”

“OKAY!” She folded her arms against her chest, “I got it. Repeat one more time and I’ll tear your tongue out.”

Shikadai didn’t know how long it took from the end of the game to the penalty to start, but he was sure today was longer than usual. He did think of staying there until it started, although it would be too risky for him. There was one particular thing he was desperate to avoid.

“Who are you cheering for, Shikadai?” Shikamaru changed the attention to his kid.

And it was that exact question. Every single World Cup, Shikadai had been running away from choosing a team. As both of his parents looked at him with expectation, he felt the anxiety building up. How was he supposed to choose one of them? Why would they want for Shikadai to choose one?

He had tried before. “Both” and “none” never made a real effect and they never took it as an actual answer. “I don’t care about football” apparently wasn’t an answer good enough either. They tried hard not to push him, but deep down he knew they were eager for an answer.

“To whoever wins,” Shikadai shrugged. 

“Just tell your father you’re a Suna fan.”

“End your mom’s craziness and tell her the truth.”

“Craziness?”

That was how another fight started.

They kept arguing, although he was aware it wasn’t a real argument. Both could annoy the hell out of each other, but they would always go back to their usual self once the game was over. Shikadai would even risk saying they had a really fun dynamic. 

Shikadai risked another glance to the tv, the goalie from Suna and the opponent from Konoha were getting ready to start. Shikadai just sighed once before speaking.

“Suna won the World Cup 5 times,” he started and both of his parents turned to him, “y’a know they have a huge shot of winning also this one,” he said the last part looking at his father.

Temari smiled proudly, ready to tease Shikamaru when Shikadai kept going. 

“However,” Shikadai completed, “Konoha’s team is doing an amazing campaign this year. The attack is the best of the competition so far, and they have been destroying their opponents one by one. I think they’ll take this one.”

Both stayed silent and stared at their son, with his mouth agape. Not even his dad saw it coming. Only when Konoha scored the first goal, the couple came out of a trance. 

Shikamaru turned to say something to Temari, but stopped midway as he watched her hurt expression. Shikadai knew she must have been feeling a little betrayed and he hated he was the one causing it. He never wanted to stab any of his parents, but that was what his mom tried to hide with a sad smile.

She turned back to the television, waiting for Suna to have the next penalty, without saying a word. Shikamaru joined her, and the young Nara spotted when his old man covered her tiny hand with his own.

The path to Shikadai’s bedroom felt longer than usual. He couldn’t shake this bad feeling away for hurting his mom’s feelings. He threw a few curses at himself for not choosing to stay quiet. As soon as he reached the room, he realized there was a package over his bed.

Opening it carefully, Shikadai got himself looking at a Suna football team jersey. The shirt was beige and carried the simple shield on the right side, and behind there was his name, Nara Shikadai, in white with the number one.

Next to the bed, there was a little note with his mom handwriting. “You’re always my number one.”

The crack in Shikadai’s heart was almost audible, the weight on his heart getting worse and worse by second. He couldn’t understand why such sport could mean so much to her and he realized he never asked. Not once. While he was sure his father turned into a football fan after he met his mother, she had been on this road for a while.

Shikadai didn’t know much about her, he noticed. Not the woman behind the mom. The Temari before the marriage, before Konoha. He didn’t know her hobbies, or what she liked to do when she was young. He didn’t know about her past much, except both her parents died when she was pretty young. 

He felt terrible. As in, he failed her as a son, and as a human being. Every time they went to Suna, he was way more focused on playing with Shinki or asking his Uncles to show something cool with their jutsus.

Suddenly, Shikadai knew how to fix it. 

No clue how much time he got stuck in his room, lost in his thoughts. When he reached the living room, his parents weren’t there anymore. So, he followed to the next possible room. 

His mom sat on the kitchen table, reading a newspaper while his father was next to the oven, preparing something to eat. The scene in front of him was so unusual, it could only mean one thing.

Konoha lost.

Shikadai almost wanted to laugh, but he held it in. Again, his father was the first to spot him.

“Hungry? Hope you like ramen,” Shikamaru said and his son noticed there was a red spot on his pink apron. He couldn’t remember something red going on the ramen, but he decided not to mention it.

“Starving,” he replied, looking at his mom now, who stared him back. “Did Suna win?”

“5-3.” She replied with a small smile, “one more time, Suna is the best in the world.”

“Speaking of which,” Shikadai blurted out, taking a deep breath. He didn’t know why he was so nervous. “I want to go there.”

“To where? The stadium?” Temari questioned.

“No, to Suna.”

“But you’ve been to Suna before,” his mom pointed out.

“Yes, but I never really paid too much attention to it, did I? I wanna get to know your favorite places, where you grew up, what you used to do when you weren’t kicking dad’s ass-”

“Language, young boy,” Shikamaru intervened and Shikadai doubted the interruption was due to the wording there.

“Anyway, just show me, teach me about Suna and your past,” Shikadai let out a breath. “What do you tell me?”

His mother just stared at him, completely inexpressive. He remembered his dad once saying she could hide emotions like no one, and Shikadai didn’t quite understand it until that moment. 

It was like he blinked and the next second, two arms were wrapped around him, pulling him into the tightest hug he had been to. He heard his mother sniffing next to him, and all he could do was to involve her back.

Over her shoulder, Shikadai spotted his father’s proud smile and the older Nara blinked back at him, approving of his way of fixing things, and that was when he realized, he had scored the biggest goal of the night.

[araminia16]

Not An Illness After All (The Birth)

A/N: So I was originally going to post this tomorrow (Tuesday) but after I did another read through tonight after working on my tablet for my job for an hour and a half I realized I probably wasn’t going to change anything else so I’ll be merciful on you and post it today but it’s nearly tomorrow anyway. I hope I did these two continued justice in my portrayal.  Keep in mind I’ve gone through labor but not actual deliver but I am an RN and have watched loads of Call the Midwife so....  

XxOxX

The carriage lurched to a halt and Claudia’s foot slid unsteadily on the wet floor. A quick glance behind her and she could have snorted with the look of bewilderment on the elf’s face.

Claudia brushed white locks behind her own ear as Callum stumbled off his horse and nearly collided with Claudia on her way out.

He poked his head into the carriage and surveyed the liquid on the floor then assessed his wife, “Rayla. Are you okay?”

She had to blink a couple times before she answered, “Does it look like I’m ‘okay’ husband? I’ve made a mess all over the floor and--oh there’s another one.” She grimaced and held her back while she took several deep breaths.

“Okay. Well. This could have been timed a bit better with us being on the road and all.” He tried to sound flippant but it came out strained.

“I heard the commotion. Get in you fool boy so I can have a good look at her.”

Callum scrambled up and tried to avoid the worst of the water on the floor while he situated himself awkwardly at her back. The moon elf healer possibly midwife also entered the small space.

“This will hardly be the best area for a good once over and you will likely have very little in the way of modesty by the time this whole bit is done with so do as I say and I will make this as painless as possible.”

“What are you going to do?” Callum eyed her hands suspiciously as she pulled out a flask of something on her person and gave her hands a good douse.

“That’s alcohol.” Rayla sniffed and sneezed at the strong odor.

“It will do until we can find a better substitute. Now. Legs spread. Lean on your husband and bring your bottom down for me.”

“I don’t even know yer name and ya expect me ta give ya all that?”

“I’m Gellie. Now. Do as I say.”

Rayla managed to get into a position which was uncomfortable but sufficient as the healer reached up her dress and further. Callums hand quickly became uncomfortable as she squeezed his fingers for dear life and uttered a low whine of pain as more of the healers arm disappeared. Callum was about to utter  a word in some concern when she pulled back and Rayla relaxed her grip. “That bloody well hurt.” She hissed out.

“Three fingers. Mostly soft.”

“What does that mean.” Callum rubbed Rayla’s shoulder and arm soothingly.

“She’s a long way yet to go. A few hours at least.”

“Hours?” Came the outraged reply. “What do ya mean hours? It hurts now.”

“That won’t get any better I’m afraid. You aren’t open enough for the babe to come through. Your body will take care of that. We should get moving unless you want to wait here for the appearance of the little one?”

“So she’s not going to have it now then is she?” Callum wished he hadn’t spoken at all with the look of exasperation Gellie gave him.

“Not likely.”

“How unlikely? Give me a percentage.”

“I can give no guarantees but I can tell you first time mothers often go the longest with the first baby. There is time to get somewhere safer than the road, warmer, and cleaner as well.”

“Let’s go then. I want to be home. In the bath like we talked about.” Rayla huffed out.

“Katolis is too far. I can tell you that you will cross the border but you will likely have to stay at the fort close by.”

“My aunt Amaya is still stationed there. She helped my mom with this stuff.” Callum was pretty sure he remembered his aunt mentioning it when he told her about Rayla’s pregnancy.

“We should go then.”

“We should send and arrow to Katolis. Tell Ezran about the baby.” Rayla looked back at him as she sat up. “And tell your Aunt she should be expecting visitors.”

Callum reached up and rubbed the back of his head with a nervous smile, “We don’t have any.”

“What? What have I told ya about keeping at least one in a group with us?”

“That we should but I was busy. I’ll go ahead and let them know.”

Claudia piped up from outside, “Are you insane, Callum? Rayla’s in labor. You need to stay here. I’ll go ahead.”

“Claudia.” Callum started.

“Look. Soon you are going to have to start trusting me again. I know it’s been a long time and everything with Soren and my dad but we’ve stopped the dark magic. It’s already taken its toll on my body. I want to help you guys.”

Rayla and Callum exchanged a long look and he sighed, “Go and come back.”

“Thanks.”

“I’ll be out there. It’s a bit cramped here. Oh and we will get some towels to soak up the mess.” Gellie exited the carriage just as another contraction started up.

Rayla’s hand clenched at the seat and she huffed and gave a low groan, “These hurt worse than the practice ones. It’s no’ fair.”

“Didn’t you feel them before?” He realized after he asked it might have sounded confrontational but if Rayla thought so she didn’t comment.

“Well I had a bit of a back ache. I still do. It just started getting bad when my water’s came.” She gestured to the floor. “It’s just our luck. A week overdue and on the road. The timing could have been better.” She rubbed her belly fondly despite her irritation.

“Well then we will just get to the border and cross it, then go from there. Perfect plan.” He opened the door. “Let’s move. We’ve got to get to the border to Xadia sooner rather than later.”

The carriage lurched forward and Rayla had to put a hand out to stop from lurching with it while Callum sat across from her. One of their party brought some towels to the two of them to put on the floor.

Though now that the healer had said the baby wouldn’t just drop out onto the floor and they had some time before the show would begin. Callum’s anxiety as well as Rayla’s had diminished but the nervous energy he exuded usually made her roll her eyes and smile. Now with his finger tapping his leg and said leg in a bounce with his eyes going from her to the carriage to wherever else she sighed, “Callum. You need to go outside.”

“Why? What’s wrong?” Eyes instantly wide as he looked her over for any injury.

“Nothing but I think that if I you stay in here for much longer we both might lose our minds.” Another contraction pressed at her back and squeezed her belly as she breathed through it. “There will be some time yet before there is anything to be with me for. I want to get some rest if I can. This will likely take a while.” Rayla leaned over and placed a hand to his cheek before she kissed him sweetly.

Callum looked guilty, “But--I want to be here.”

“I know. And I want you to be here but this is not the most ideal place for you to hover. Ride next to the carriage if ya want. Or leave the window open.”

“Are you sure?”

“Positive.” In truth she had her own anxiety and didn’t want Callum to see her fear yet with it being so early in the labor. The same thoughts from earlier in the pregnancy chose now to surface. Thoughts of being unworthy, of something being wrong with her child, or if things would change between them with this child. This wasn’t the place to address it and the labor would help her to distract herself. It was a good plan.

Callum still looked apprehensive but exited the carriage after a brief stop while Rayla continued to breathe through the contractions which were growing slowly and steadily more intense but not more frequent.

“Almost there, Rayla. Are you still okay?”

“Yeah. Just fine. Not having some wee thing try to get out o’ somewhere far too small.”

“The bridge is just ahead, okay?”

“Yeah.”

She heard the pattern of hoofbeats and the sound of the wheel change as they started across the bridge back to the human kingdoms. The crossing was so much longer than it was to Xadia and by the time they reached the dirt road beyond she had started to shake a little.

“Aunt Amaya.” The carriage stopped and she heard the sound of a few people dismounting. “Rayla’s here.”

The door opened to reveal the general with a stern eye but warmed when her gaze settled on Rayla.

“Are you well?”

Rayla nodded. In the past few years the she and the General had reached the level of a friendly relationship. Not quite the warmth of family but with the years of war and the death of her sister those prejudices were difficult to break. It had taken some time as well for Callum to teach Rayla sign language. It was a language she could understand more than speak with her four fingers some signs were impossible. Over time she had developed a type of shorthand for simple phrases her aunt in law taught her. “Hurts.”

Amaya chuckled soundlessly and offered a hand for her to take. When Rayla had managed to hobble her way out of the carriage with Callums’ help she surveyed her surroundings.

The fort looked so much more welcoming than it used to with banners aloft and the absence of so many guards. Callum spoke behind her, “Do you have a room for her?”

There was no reply from Amaya and Rayla couldn’t see them sign behind her.

“Good. I’m glad we can count on Claudia. No. Stop. She was absolved of her crimes and the ones her father made were punished accordingly.”

There was silence again.

“I trust her. At least with this. Do you have a midwife?”

Rayla knew Callum’s vocalizations were for her benefit as they moved slowly up to the door to the fort. She felt another contraction build and clung to the two people at her sides while she sagged and let the pain run through her while she huffed short breaths until it passed.

To her left someone put a lock of her hair behind her ear and she glanced over at Amaya who offered a small smile and released her to sign, “You remind me of my sister. She tried not to make much noise either. Everything will be fine.”

Somehow the older woman’s words made some of the unease dissipate. “Thank you.” She said slowly and Callum squeezed her side in comfort as they continued up the stairs and into the fort.

Eventually they made their way to a large room with a bed, chairs, a few tables and a decently sized bath along with a woman in a chair.

As they entered a woman stood from one of the chairs, “Hello your highness’s I’m Emily, a midwife. I came as soon as I was sent for.”

“You aren’t needed.” A voice from behind them called out. “She should be tended to by her own kind.”

“The child is half human. Do you have any idea if there are differences between a human and elven pregnancy? Or if the child will need things you have no knowledge of?”

“This isn’t a pissing contest. There will be a bairn exiting my body in what seems like a short while from now and I want all the help I can get with tha’. Okay?” Rayla put a stop to the impending argument before it could begin. She didn’t have the patience for it.

“Yes, ma’am.” They intoned.

“That’s my girl.” Callum kissed the side of her head. “Where to?”

“There.” She gestured to the bed.

“You will need to disrobe and put a birthing gown on unless you prefer to be naked.” The human Emily spoke up.

“In a while. I’m starving and I need to pee and I hurt.” She whined and Callum sat next to her.

“If you need anything at all send the guards for me. But I think you have all the help you need here.”

Rayla and Callum nodded and were both enveloped in separate hugs before the General left them to the mercy of the healers.

“How long has it been since your water broke?”

“A few hours.” Gellie replied before Rayla could tell the human midwife herself.

“When was the last time she was checked?”

“Just after the waters appeared. We do not check frequently after the water has broken. It leads to more childbed deaths and I will not allow you to check either for at least a few more hours. Her labor seems to be progressing well.”

“Good enough then.” The human woman approached the two of them now.

Callum extended his hand and gave Emily a handshake, “Is there any way the two of you could find us some food and drink? We didn’t have much on the road and I think it would be better for her to have something, right?”

The two women couldn’t exit the room fast enough and as soon as the door closed they both relaxed. “Callum. I don’t think I can handle it if they are going to do nothing but bicker the whole time.”

“I can send one of them away if you want.”

Rayla sighed and laid her head on Callum’s shoulder while he rubbed at her upper arm. “No. I think it might be best if they both stay for now.”

“How are you feeling?”

“One moment.” Rayla shifted as another contraction began its rise until it peaked a short time later and she relaxed, “I’m miserable. Can we be done with this?”

“You heard your mother. You better get moving. You really don’t want to see her when she’s mad.” He directed his words down to her bump and used his free hand to give it a rub. “I’m terrified.”

His confession didn’t surprise her but the fact that he voiced it did, “I am too.” She placed her hand atop his and fit her fingers in between the spaces there.

“Better to be scared together then.” He took a deep breath and released it. “Let’s do this. How hard can it be. We took an egg almost to Xadia while being accosted by various individuals in my kingdom then had to take a baby dragon all the way to the Dragon Queen. This is nothing.”

“Says the one who doesn’t  have to push this thing out of a place that should be far to small for it.”

“Oh.” The word laced with dread. “It’s why you are tougher than me. I could never do it.”

“No. You couldn’t.” She teased just as the door opened again and the two midwives brought several food and drink options and discussed the benefits of their choices to Rayla who didn’t particularly care she just needed to eat.

“Would you want to walk around the room a while? It might help the babe get into position and speed along your labor.” Gellie suggested after they had eaten.

Rayla and Callum shared a look, “While I’m contracting?” She couldn’t help the incredulity in her tone.

“We would be next to you as well as your husband though I can say it is rather unorthodox for a man to be in the birthing room.” Emily commented.

“This man isn’t leaving so you can forget that. We do this together.” Callum declared in a tone which brooked no argument. “Do you want to walk?” Gentler now.

“Anything to help get this wee beastie out of me I’ll give a go.” Callum helped Rayla to stand and as she began to walk he followed a few paces behind her. Contractions came and went as she walked determined around the edge of the room with the midwives taking shifts in and out of the room. She leaned against the walls with each ascent and peak with Callum as he pressed the heel of his palm into her lower back. Emily showed him that trick when they first began their walk and Rayla seemed to think it made them hurt less and so he would do it for as long as he needed to.

It had been a few hours since they had come to the makeshift birthing room and Rayla desperately needed to get some air especially with the contractions coming every three minutes.  Coupled with the fact they lasted for at least a third of their frequency it made her miserable. It wasn’t quite enough to take her breath away but she was getting there. “I want to walk the hall for a few laps. Callum?”

Callum took her arm in hand and they walked to the door. He crafted the symbol for Aspiro and let out a small breath to open the door. His self satisfied grin prompted a chuckle as they entered the deserted hall. Amaya must have ordered her guards to avoid this area.

Rayla had just completed one circuit around the hall when the next contraction buckled her knees and Callum caught her as she braced palms on the wall and moaned against the pain. “It feels worse down under.” She managed to pant out after the contraction finished. He hurried her back to the room just as she announced, “I’m going ta be sick.”

Luckily Gellie managed to bring a sick bowl just as she emptied whatever was left in her stomach with a choked off sound of despair. “Get her clothes off and get her where she wants to deliver.” The order was one that Callum had no objection to.

He helped Rayla toward the tub and let her take off as much of her clothing as she could before the next contraction and her moan of pain was almost too much for him to bear as he rubbed her back through it. He pulled the rest of her clothing off and she stood naked as the day she was born when the midwives returned.

“The tub then? Good choice. We might need to warm the water a little.”

They had talked at length about the way she wanted to deliver and after she spoke to other women who were in her same situation or had been in it before they all prefered the tub and though Rayla still had a fear of deep running water she enjoyed a good soak in the tub. “Ya going ta help him get my fat arse in here?” She bit out and the two midwives had a good chuckle as they joined Callum to maneuver her into the tub after Callum warmed the water with a rune from the sun arcanum.

She let a moan of relief escape her when she sank into the warm water. “This is moon sent.”

“Good. Now I get to climb in there with you while your man will stay at your back and hold your hand.” Gellie hitched up her skirt to her hip with short leggings underneath. Another contraction hit and they had to wait while Rayla breathed through it while she had death grip on Callum’s fingers. After the contraction finished Gellie gave orders for her to tilt hips up and spread thighs while she performed her check, “Excellent. Fully dilated and the child is working it’s way down well. Another few contractions and you should be able to start pushing.”

“Thank the gods.” Callum and Rayla whispered gratefully.

“Almost there.” He whispered into her ear before he kissed the top of her head and rubbed the back of her hand with his thumb while the other rested on a bare shoulder while she leaned back into his chest where he sat on a chair behind her.

“When we tell you to start pushing you will have to feel it here and bear down as if you were trying to move your bowels but you must feel it here.” Gellie pressed down on a the bottom part of her vaginal canal. “I will be able to tell you if you are doing it well.”

Callum looked over from Rayla to the other midwife who set up a table with carefully placed instruments on a white cloth. She folded up towels and blankets as well and placed them nearby. “How long will she have to push?”

“Could be a few minutes or a few hours depending on how big the child is and how eager it is to come into the world and how well the mother does her job.”

“Five. At the most. You will listen to me and I won’t have any more of this foolishness ya ken?” She poked at her abdomen which definitely had changed shape even from a few hours ago. The kick she received in response choked out a laugh from her.

It was a few minutes and at least three contractions later when she felt the unbearable urge to push. By that time her position changed to where she was now on her knees and faced the edge of the tub where she could cling fully body to Callum and bury her head into his chest while her hands grasped at his shoulders and neck as she sobbed and groaned in pain.

Callum watched Gellie move behind her and downward. “Nearly there.” She encouraged gently .

Rayla shouted something intelligible into his shirt and though he couldn’t make out the words he knew they were not in the least bit kind.

“You have to push when the next pain comes, girl. Once the babe is born the worst is over.”

“You can do this. All you have to do is breathe. Breathe and push, okay?” He mumbled into her hair near her ear and Rayla remembered a time years ago where she thought Callum was dying and she spoke similar words to him. Where she first had the inkling of deep care for a boy she had only known for a short while. A care that developed into a deep friendship and into love over time. This baby was proof of it.

When the next contraction began it’s agony she gritted her teeth and tensed downward while her nails dug into cloth and flesh with a moan long vibrated into Callum’s skin while his arms wrapped around her held her upper half steady.

“That’s it. Give me two more of those and this little one shall be here in no time at all.”

Rayla panted wearily and looked up at Callum and he grinned down at her. “Did you hear that?”

“I did. I have ears. I’m already so tired, Callum.”

“It’s not just you. It’s me too. We help each other. You can do this. You have to.” The gentle encouragement chased away some of her annoyance at his part in this predicament she found herself in now.

“Then you can get in here and do this for me.”

Callum laughed and the rich sound danced in her ears while she laid her head back down onto his chest. He knew how to move so her horns didn’t catch him on the cheek or chin. Pain makes one learn quickly though Rayla tried to be conscious of them herself.

When the next contraction hit she screamed into the cloth again while she bore down but this time the pain did not leave her when she stopped. It remained a constant stretched burn though she felt a little something give way this time. .

“The head is born. Not much hair to speak of. You can look if you want.”

“No.” She muttered. “I’ll look after the rest of it shows up.”

“This next contraction I want you to relax your pushes. Little ones on my command. Pant instead of groan, yes? Do not give me a strong one. The child has to work it’s way free and turn a little.”

“Yes.” Rayla managed and felt so bone tired.

When the next contraction surged up she did as the midwife said and panted harshly from turned head into the air as she felt things move down there that shouldn’t. “Pant. Pant. Good girl.” And suddenly the pressure let up and she felt such euphoric relief she would have collapsed if not for Callum’s embrace.

The disturbance in the water behind them prompted her to turn around as the second midwife wrapped a stick armed creature in a towel and began to rub it vigorously. A strange flesh colored rope dangled from the child into the water. The cord. Callum thought absently though his focus was on the obscured bundle in the midwife’s arms.  

They didn’t dare breathe as they watched the midwives work. One of them brought a tube and Gellie placed it into the still not breathing child’s mouth while she put the other side into hers and sucked in. The sound of thick mucus loud in the near silent room.

The bundle gave a jerk and then a cough before the arms and legs properly pulled in as the child began to squall in earnest. The relief in the room almost something palpable as the midwife handed Rayla the new bundle with minor instruction on how to hold it properly.

It was the most beautiful sight either of them had ever beheld, “Hello then, little one.”

XxOxX

A/N: So now is where you get to leave me a comment on if you think it’s a boy or girl.. You don’t get any prizes except knowing you were right. :) I am also cruel to not reveal it yet but the next chapter will be out sooner than you think. Probably by the weekend if my work week doesn’t go to shite. But with another nurse gone it probably will. So give me some motivation. I’m going to need a lot of good vibes this week. See you soon Lovelies!

[hyukmark]

Teasers || Next

Kaizen - Masterlist

↳ A Reader X Mark swimmer!au series in which Johnny’s little sister Y/N finally moves back to Korea after graduating high school in Chicago. A written/social media fusion au!! ↲

CHAPTER ONE

“How long is this flight?” You groaned to your parents next to you as you watched the clouds go by your window. “I feel I’ve spent my entire life on this plane!”

Your dad just shook his head at your impatience whilst your mum laughed besides you, “Not long now sweetie.” She quickly glanced at the time on her phone, it showed 1:47 AM in South Korea. “Probably around two more hours left, you’ve coped better than I thought considering it’s a thirteen hour flight.” She teased earning a slight pout from you.

“Johnny won’t be there when we land either so it wasn’t even worth it.” You huffed, crossing your arms across your chest and slouching further into your chair. You saw your parents quickly glance at each other then back at you. 

“I’m sure he’ll visit us in the morning when he wakes up, he is training for an upcoming competition so cut him a little slack.” Your father scolded slightly, you nodded in response and returned to looking out of your window.

You reached into your pocket for you phone deciding you might as well ‘catch the moment’ as Johnny usually says. You took a few photos, none showing up too clear because of the darkness outside. Oh well I still got a few good ones when it was daytime, you shrugged putting your phone away. 

Moving back to Korea was probably the best idea your parent’s have had in a while, they had it finalised in junior year that when you graduated you’d move back and live close by to your older brother Johnny. Your parent’s decided to leave him in Korea under your grandparent’s care since he had already made his life there, whereas you were too little to understand. Now though you were a little upset to leave the few friends you had in Chicago but you shook it off determined to make new ones in Korea. Which might be a little easier than you had first thought.

Following your tweet about returning you had an ambush of followers and attention from all of Johnny’s swim team, NCT. Your brother had apologised in advance for the outburst that was to come once you landed but you had said it was fine, after all you wanted to be introduced to them anyway since they all shared the same passion with you. Swimming. You had always wanted to join a swim club but your parents had been a bit more cautious telling you to wait till you get to Korea, not wanting you to become too attached to too many people, now you thought it was a bit too late.

Staring out the window you realised you were struggling to keep your eyes open and you hadn’t slept for the entirety of the flight so far. You lifted your feet onto the chair and rested your chin on them, allowing your eyes to droop and for you to catch some well earned rest. 

“Y/N..” Your mum cooed in your ear, shaking you gently. “We’ve landed, we are in Korea sweetie.” Your eyes shot open, going straight to the window. Outside you could just make out the airport through the dark, your mum was right; you finally were in Korea.

You shot up out of your seat, a big mistake as you hit your head on the carrier above you. “Ow!” You exclaimed, falling back down with a hand to your head. Your dad sighed as he reached up to get your bags, “Don’t be too excited remember? Johnny isn’t here.” 

He helped your mum out of her seat and took the bags off the plane whilst you both followed behind him. Even after your parents had said your brother wouldn’t be here you couldn’t help but scan every face in hopes they were joking. No luck.

“Mum is Johnny really not here? You’d think he’d make an effort with it being his favourite sister.” You huffed, sticking your hands in your pockets.

“You’re his only sister honey.” She deadpanned, although it looked like she was also looking for someone.

“Hmm.” You mumbled, suspicious at your mum’s actions. “Are you sure?” You questioned further, your eyes following hers.

“Yes I’m-- Honey isn’t that Johnny there! Look how tall our baby is!” You beamed, looking at the man your mother was pointing at. Yet again she was right, there was your older brother, doing nothing but having his eyes glued to his phone whilst his family were right here.

“Johnny!!” You yelled overjoyed, running over to hug him, leaving your suitcase behind.

He looked up with a smile, his arms open for your embrace. He wrapped his big arms around you with a squeeze, you released with the biggest smile on your face. “Hey little Y/N~” He laughed, ruffling your hair. “What happened to oppa, or are you too cool for that now you’ve graduated?” 

“Shut up.” You laughed, gently punching his arm.

“Hey mum. Hey dad. Was the flight okay?” You brother immediately went to help out your parents, checking up on them to make sure they weren’t too tolled by the long flight. “Let me take some of these bags off of you dad. I’ve got Y/N’s suitcases too don’t worry about it.” 

“Sorry dad I should’ve offered earlier...” You said guiltily after realising how much he must’ve struggled. “I’ll take mum’s suitcases!”

“No no it’s okay can we just hurry up home please, I’m exhausted.” You all nodded in agreement, the time catching up with all of you.

You woke up just after midday not even remembering going to sleep that night, since stepping in the house everything was a blur. You checked the time on your phone, 1:24PM, it seemed like a good time to get food. You walked out your room to see Johnny in the kitchen cooking pancakes, you’re favorite.

“Wow you still remember.” You rubbed your eyes, coming up behind him to see if there was any ready for you to eat.

“I saw you four months ago, not that long.” He said, serving two strawberry with cream pancakes on a plate and handed it to you.

“Oh yeah, you’re right.” You said, still too tired for your brain to remember anything.

“Hey I know you’re tired but do you want to meet some of my members today?” He suddenly said, taking a seat next to you.

“Now?” You were wide awake, shocked at his abrupt question.

“Just the sane ones, I promise.” You were still unsure. “The older ones, they might be helpful in picking out a college?” Now you were listening.

“How many?”

“Five max. I promise.” He looked slightly desperate now, you couldn’t help but give in.

“You’re making a lot of promises dear brother of mine, but you got yourself a deal.” You poked at your pancakes feeling like you were forgetting something. “Oh yes! Give me three hours to get ready then the deals on.”

“Two and I’ll buy you an ice cream.” He bargained, one eyebrow raised.

“You’re good.” You said, pointing your fork with a strawberry topped with cream on it at Johnny. “Any priced ice cream?”

“I already hear my bank account screaming but yes, any price.” He sighed, seeming like he got the short end of the stick.

“Deal.” You smiled, glad you got your way. “Why do you want me to come so bad?” You burrowed your eyebrows, suspicious of his actions.

“College.” Was all he said before standing up. “And so mum and dad can get some rest.” He added with a smile then left the room, leaving you with your pancakes. Suspicious, was all you could think but you let it slip, excited to meet a few of his members.

“That was longer than two hours.” Your brother huffed as you walked out of your room, you rolled your eyes and checked the time on your phone. “Wow six minutes late.” You sighed, raising your eyebrows at his impatience.

“Don’t roll your eyes at me young lady.” He smirked, ruffling your hair. You slapped away his hand and groaned in annoyance as you patted down any out of place stands.

“This better be worth it.” You pouted, slightly worried about what his member’s would think of you. Your brother walked alongside you his tall figure looming over you.

“Honestly they’re really excited to meet you so don’t be worried, especially Doyoung for some reason.” He tried comforting you but instead put even more pressure on you, what if you didn’t live up to their expectations? “We are here now so no more time to worry about it."

You looked up, shocked that you were here already. In front of you was an ice cream shop, it looked cute too but you couldn’t help but feel nervous. You grasped his shirt before he opened the door and pulled him back slightly. He looked at you with an understanding smile and pulled you into a hug.

“You want to have a quick photo shoot?” He asked, pointing to the wall on the opposite side of the road. “That usually cheers you up.” You nodded, your heart beat instantly calming. You loved being Johnny’s model, he always knew the right lighting and angle to make you seem that little bit taller.

“Be a ballerina!” 

“Give me a heart!”

“One. Two. Three...Jump!!” 

He’d shout out several poses for you to do and you followed each one trusting his judgement, you were grateful you had a brother like Johnny who always knew how to relax you.

“Aww look at the cute Seo siblings.” You heard a voice say from behind your brother, you saw a group of young men and instantly recognised them as some of Johnny’s swimteam. You bowed down instantly feeling embarrassed that they saw you acting like that but also to avoid them seeing the blush on your cheeks.

“These guys get a bow like that but your older brother doesn’t?” Johnny feigned hurt as he looked amused at you’re embarrassed figure.

“Johnny, shut up.” You hissed quietly, not sure what to say to the boys.

“You must be Y/N.” One of the boys said, taking a small step towards you. “I’m Taeyong~ we’ve heard a lot about you.”

“All good things I hope.” You smiled, moving besides your brother.

“You really are Johnny’s little sister. I’m Doyoung and here we have Taeil, Yuta and Jaehyun.” He motioned at the last three and they all bowed at hearing their name.

"It's nice to meet you too." You smiled.

“Okay okay let’s stop bombarding my sister and get some ice cream!” Johnny said, ushering you inside before a forever lasting conversation happened outside.

Just as you were about to step through the door there was various shouts from behind you, you and Johnny both turned to see three young figures running at you.

“Hyung did you really think you could go out without us?” The tallest one said, pausing in front of you both.

“Why the hell are you three here? I thought I made it clear you weren’t going anywhere near my sister.” Johnny moaned, pulling his hair back in annoyance. You noticed the boys were also Johnny’s members, recognising that they were from the dream team.

“Well here we are, it was Jun’s idea anyway.” The other said, pointing at the third boy who instantly put him in a head lock.

“Renjun, really? I expected Jaemin and Haechan, but you?” It all came to you now your brother had said those three names, these three were the first ones to follow you on twitter after your announcement.

“But hyung~ We wanted to see Y/N” Renjun complained, then shot you an innocent smile. Johnny put his hand out in front of you, his big brother side showing.

“This is why I said no.” He stated blankly.

“You’re no fun hyung.” Jaemin pouted giving puppy dog eyes.

“Johnny just let them in, a few more can’t hurt!” You pleaded, earning a look of disbelief from Johnny. “Please oppa~” This was his weakness and he finally gave in, moving his arm to let the boys in.

“Thank you hyung, now I can get Y/N’s number!” Haechan stated then winked at you as he walked past.

You could feel the heat rushing to your cheeks and your heart rate quicken, “M-my what?” Was all you could say as you watched the boys pile into the booth with the others.

“This is why.” Your brother laughed, “I hope you realised what you got yourself into, the dream team are no joke.” He smiled, then walked off towards the booth leaving you in a state of bewilderment and questioning how this managed to happen to you on your first day of living here in Korea. Only you could do that.

[tarasstorybook]

Bad Ideas Part 5

Adonis was sitting through yet another dinner at Lilith's castle when he sensed something off with Tarq, excusing himself rather quickly. Finding his lover was rather easy, though where he found him wasn't exactly what he was expecting.

"You're absolutely insane." Amabiel claims. "You can't do that to people, it's unjust."

"What's unjust is letting an opportunity like this slip through my hands."

"Tarq aren't you going to say anything?" Gaviel looks to his brother, nudging him with his shoulder. Tarq doesn't react to his brother's touch, just continues staring off into the distance as his mind races through possibilities of what would happen. He stopped listening a long time ago.

Adonis snuck through the hideout invisibly, quietly listening in on the conversations he passed until he heard something about three travelers they'd jumped in the forest. Something about selling a magic user for profit. "Tarq." Adonis growled to himself, anger rising in his chest as he followed his scent, pausing just outside the doorway when he heard someone other than the three speaking.

"It seems like he has nothing to say. That's fine, the less back talk the better, go ahead and take those two away." He gestures to Amy and Gav.

"Don't touch me." Amy threatens, already prepared to kick them if need be.

Adonis silently walked up behind the man, pulling a dagger from thin air as the blonde spoke.

"Tarq don't just sit there react or something!" Amy screams trying to get her brother's attention, kicking at the person trying to grab her.

"He seems to have a bit of a glazed look over his eyes." The blond waves a hand in front of Tarq's face. "I don't think-" He was cut off by a sudden gasp of pain, freezing where he stood as Adonis materialized behind him driving a dagger into his back.

"I'm sorry were you saying something..." Adonis grinned wickedly, his purple eyes solid gold in anger.

"Adonis, thank god you're here." Gaviel can't help but smile in relief.

"A second longer and Gav and I might have wound up dead." Amy puts in. "I think Tarq slipped into a coping mechanism and fell inside his own head."

"Yes well," Adonis twisted the blade then removed it, the man dropping to the ground dead. "I have a feeling someone did something stupid to initiate this." He looked pointedly at Amy, his eyes still glowing gold as the rest of his glamour threatened to drop.

"It seemed like a good idea at the time." Amy shifts at his look, avoiding his gaze.

"Tarq come back to us." Gaviel shoves him over with his foot.

Tarq blinks a few times before doing the same thing. "Why would you do that?"

"You slipped from reality for a minute." Gav answers. "Look who's here." He gestures to Adonis.

"Hello erastís." Adonis smiled, his eyes finally slipping back to purple. "It seems I'm your rescuer today."

Tarq's face blushes slightly at the nickname. "How did you know we were in trouble? We must be miles away from any nearby town." He manages to get himself sitting upright again.

"... Tarq, I'm a demon..." Adonis looked at him incredulously.

"Right, I forgot."

"Not that this little reunion isn't cute and all but could we jump to the part where the captives are let go?" Amy buts in. "Out of the three of us Tarq is the only one with iron."

"Ah right." Adonis snapped his fingers and they were all released. "Now if you excuse me, I have some more vengeance to exact."

"Thank gods." Tarq murmurs, rubbing his wrists.

"I think you lost your chance." Gav points at the people running off in different directions.

Adonis laughed darkly. "Oh don't worry, they'll get what's coming to them eventually." He reached out, grabbing something unseen to the others before showing he was holding a glowing red orb. "As for you my friend... well let's just say you're in deep shit."

"Adonis." Tarq gives the red orb a glance before wrapping his arms around him. "Thank you." He mumbles into his shoulder.

"You're welcome love, you should know by now that I'll do my best to protect you. And your siblings." Adonis planted a kiss on his forehead before throwing the orb towards the floor where it went right through. "Incoming!"

"Aaww, didn't know you cared for all three of us." Amy smiles. "Where'd that go?"

"Hell." Adonis responded nonchalantly.

"Oh, well then."

"Can we get going?" Gav breaks in. "I'd like to leave this place before they decide to come back."

"I dunno, our brother seems fairly attached to Adonis at the moment."

Adonis chuckled. "Even if they did come back I'd just send them the way of their friend."

Tarq blushes at Amy's comment and lets go of Adonis. "Right we should get going anyway, hopefully we aren't too far off our path to get to town. But maybe we should take the road and not go through thieves forest."

"Okay I get it bad idea, we’ll take the road." Amy huffs.

"I'll come with you, just in case." Adonis nodded. "It's this way out."

"Sweet, travel buddy." Amy gladly follows him out.

"It wouldn't hurt." Tarq shrugs.

"I suppose not." Gav muses.

"So how have you been Adonis?" Amy asks, trying to make light of the situation.

"Good, I was actually in the middle of dinner at Lilith's when I came. She understands however, you seem to get yourselves into trouble constantly."

"That happens a lot now." Gaviel says.

"Unfortunately we're used to it but it still takes its toll." Tarq tries to flex his magic but it's faint, he didn't know how long he was out for but he still felt tired.

"You need rest dear, it seems you extended yourself too far. You should be more careful, that can have permanent consequences if you do it too much." Adonis looked concerned. "How did you even manage to run yourself out?"

"You'd do anything to protect your own right? Their wellbeing came before my own, I guess I let it take more from me than I meant to. It got to the point where the mark of strength came to life, that eventually ran out too and I just collapsed from pure exhaustion."

"You must not know very good combat magic then. I thought the point was to take out your opponent as quickly as possible and get out without draining yourself."

"I'm a healer not a fighter, I don't know much. Something I know I should fix, I wasn't expecting twenty thieves though. My magic doesn't drain that easily when I have to fight."

"That's not an exaggeration, we were greatly outnumbered." Amy adds on.

Adonis shrugged. "I know some people who might be able to help you. It wouldn't be easy though and they live with a dragon. I'd have to convince them too."

"That's okay." Tarq smiles slightly. "I'm not the only one in our family with magic."

"Really? What do they do?"

"Are you talking about Torquaret?"

"Yes Amy that's who I'm talking about. He's more of the fighter than I am. I'm more of a healer really but I don't think it'd hurt to ask him for help."

"So that's where we were going, I thought it was going to be a supply stock thing." Gav says impressed how Tarq was able to keep quiet about that.

"Who's Torquaret?" Adonis asked.

"He's our older cousin, he has a younger brother Guabarel." Amy explains.

"We used to visit them when we were kids, Torquaret seemed excited to hear that Tarq had magic." Gav adds on.

"Unlike him though I followed the path of healer, and adventurer I guess. He learned how to fight and teaches those that want to learn combat magic." Tarq finishes.

Adonis nodded. "I see, so I agree going to see him would be a wise decision."

"He'll be disappointed to hear Tarq's magic ran out and drained him."

"He'll also be disappointed to hear that you nearly got us killed Amy." Tarq glares at her.

"Guys please." Gav pleads with them. "We just got out of nearly being killed. God knows how long we've been out but it looks like the sun is going down."

"Ah shit, thieves ruin everything." Amy complains.

"Any chance he'll freak out on account of me being a demon? I usually have that effect on people." Adonis questioned.

"No, his brother is part angel so I don't think he'll be too surprised." Amy says.

"Oh look the road." Gav points out. "Guess we're at the edge now."

"Yup." Tarq nods. "I don't know about Torquaret, it's more of we'll see really."

"Then I guess we'll see."

"Yeah, in the meantime we should make camp. Rest up after a stressful day." Amy suggests, already getting started in setting up a campfire.

Adonis shrugged. "Sure. Where are your tents?"

"We're more of star gazers." Amy shrugs.

"It is kind of peaceful at night, the stars are nice to look at." Tarq admits, he was helping Gav set up other things.

".... oh." Adonis chuckled. "Guess I've never really slept outside so I wouldn't know."

"In case of emergency Tarq would help out with that, but since his magic is still recovering we won't be asking him to push it tonight." Gav pauses, rubbing the back of his head.

"You okay?" Tarq looks at him concerned.

"Yeah I'm good, I think we all got hit in the back of the head."

"And then some." Amy grumbles.

"I'm sure you did, and don't worry about me, I'll probably just be up a tree." Adonis chuckled. "I don't have to sleep if I don't want to."

Amy laughs a little at that. "Like a cat."

"Amy." Both of them scold her.

"....." Adonis looked less than impressed at her comment. "You know, you're the one who got them into this mess in the first place. And try to be more original next time, we get called that all the time."

Amy just shrugs and starts making dinner for the three of them. "We got out alive."

"You want help Amy?" Gaviel offers.

"That would be nice thank you."

Tarq sat with his back against a tree and tried to get his magic to shine brighter. His hand glowed but the light was still faint, Tarq sighs and sits back, resting his head against the tree.

"I'm sure it'll come back soon, just give it time." Adonis did his best to reassure him.

"Remember what mom said." Gav reminds him.

"If you've extended your magic give it a day and it'll come back." Tarq repeats. "I know."

"Just eat something and then rest, that's what mom always said." Amy recounts their mother's teachings. "Which is almost ready, Adonis you want some?"

"No thank you, I've already eaten."

"Okay."

"Someone remembered mom's hospitality teachings." Gaviel teases her.

"Shut up Gav."

Tarq chuckles at the two of them go back and forth, it wouldn't be an adventure if they actually went a day without doing so.

Adonis sighed. "Your siblings have a very interesting relationship."

"Pretty sure it's love hate." Tarq says around bites of food. "They've been like that since we were four."

[all-sortsa-stuff]

Natural

Pairing: Eventually Klaus Michaelson x Reader

Word Count: 2477

Warning: Language, talk of depression

A/N:  A witch loses her parents and is trying to make sense of her much altered world. What happens when she meets the vampires of Mystic Falls and New Orleans?

 “How far from Mystic Falls are you?” Your sister was checking on you for the second time since you left Salem.

“About forty-five minutes. You know I am perfectly capable of driving ten hours.  I’m a rather good driver; I even stopped to fill up my own gas tank.”  The sarcasm would not be lost on her.  There was a drawn out sigh from her on the other end.

“I know.  But I am allowed to worry about you, you know. You are all I have left and I will be really pissed if I have to clean out your bedroom after you die.  That closest alone probably has something that would devour me whole.”  A giggle escaped as you continued down one of the back roads in Virginia.

“Not in the closet.  I would stay out of my greenhouse though.” Since the death of your parents, you and your sister were the only ones left of you family.  Yes, there were cousins and probably a distant great aunt or something but no one close.  Just you and Scarlet.  Your big sister worried over damn near everything now.  While it was nice to be living in the same house again it got old when she checked up on you multiple times a day.  In time you hoped she would calm down a bit and give you space to breathe. It had been about six months since their murder and Scarlet had not eased up one bit.

“I try and stay away from that place as much as possible.  I don’t want to kill anything in there.”

“I appreciate that.  I don’t know how the Gods could have created a witch that kills any plant she touches.  I mean I feel like it’s sin against nature at the very least.”  

“Hey maybe it’s my super power or whatever.”  Knowing your sister as well as you did you knew there was an eye roll in there.

“That is a really shitty super power.  You know if you actually let me teach you some better spells or something you wouldn’t have such an issue with magic.”  

“No I’m good.  I like the almost magic free life I live thank you.” Now it was your turn to roll your eyes. There had always been some resentment from your big sister regarding magic.  By blood, she was your half-sister and had never been as powerful as you or your mother.  Growing up it had caused issues until the day when Scarlet decided that she was completely done with it all.  She only tolerated it now because you two lived together in your parents’ old house.

“Whatever you want, Scar. I am going to go I want to enjoy the rest of this drive before I drop this stuff off.”

“Fine, just please be careful.”  Just another time she wanted to take the motherly tone with you.

“I will.  I will call you later.”  Ending the phone call quickly, you did not want her to start in on something else.  You loved her, she was your big sister but damn she was trying to suffocate you.  It was one of the reasons why you wanted to take the road trip to deliver the orders yourself instead of sending them through the mail as you usually did.

You grew plants, flowers, and herbs to sell to mostly witches and covens throughout the world. Many of the items you grew were rare and it made it easy for you customers to find them.  The money was decent and you loved what you did. Working with your hands and digging in the earth made you feel connected to everything.  Today you were delivering an order to Sheila Bennett in Mystic Falls. She was a loyal customer, as she had known your family for many years.

Finally, driving into town after the long trip, dusk was falling, cooling the air.  It felt even better in your opened cover Jeep.  The center of town was alive with all the lights and people.  It was a peaceful looking town.  The feel of it all was refreshing compared to Salem.  Maybe you just needed to get away from home for a few days.  The last six months had taken its toll on you.  You were worn down and exhausted all the time. It was affecting your everyday life.

Sheila’s house was ten minutes from downtown and before you knew it you were walking up to knock on the front door.  A beautiful girl opened the door with an inquisitive look.  “May I help you?”

“Hi, I’m here to drop off an order for Sheila.  Is she home?” The girl raised a brow for a moment before turning back into the house.

“Grams, someone is here about an ‘order’.”  You could hear from somewhere in the house Sheila’s voice as you stood with yours hands clasped behind your back.

“An order?  All right I’m coming.”  As soon as she saw you standing, at the door a wide grin broke across her face.  “[Y/N] Avery! Child what are you doing here? Give me a hug.”

Her embrace was comforting, as she held tight.  “I can’t believe you are here.  I did not expect personal delivery service.”  You laughed as she pulled back to look at you.

“I know.  But I wanted to get away for a little while and thought this would be a perfect time.  I’ve filled all my big orders and the smaller ones have been put on hold for now.” Sheila cupped your cheek looking you over carefully.

“Honey, you look tired. You should use some of your own herbs and make something to help you sleep.”  You sighed before shaking your head.

“Too many nightmares. Every time I close my eyes… But that isn’t why I’m here.  I will grab your stuff from my Jeep.”  Wanting to avoid that conversation as much as possible, you turned back to the vehicle and the two boxes that were belted safely in the backseat.

“Bonnie help her, there shouldn’t be too much.”  The girl followed you out towards your Jeep, waiting patiently next to you as you unstrapped everything.

“I’m Bonnie, by the way.” You smiled over at her as you handed her the lighter of the two boxes.

“[Y/N].  Nice to meet you.”  Taking the second box, you headed back to the house.

“What is all this?”

“I grow herbs and other plants.  I sell mostly to witches who use it for their spells and practices.”

“Oh so you are a witch too?” Nodding, you entered the house.

“Yes, I’m a witch too.” Sheila motioned for you to set the boxes on the table.

“[Y/N] comes from a long line of witches just like us.  Her mother was a very powerful practitioner.”  She rubbed your back as a grandmother would.  “Now my girl what do I owe you for the personal delivery?”

“Nothing.  You already paid for everything.”  Her brow raised mirroring Bonnie’s from earlier.  

“Seriously. Nothing.  I just wanted to get out of town for a few days and was coming down this direction anyway.”

“How about if you are around tomorrow you come have dinner with us.  You can have a home cooked meal and we can catch up.” Hugging her tightly you agreed.

“That sounds wonderful.”

 Once you had left the Bennet’s, you found the little bed and breakfast you had registered at online. It was a quaint little place you could see having a honeymoon at someday.  However, that would require a significant other of some sort.  Your plan was to stay there for three or four days to explore the town and perhaps the surrounding area.  Maybe a bit of hiking and shopping before you headed home.  You had not told your sister yet and you knew it was not going to go over well.

A little after nine pm your phone rang signaling it was time to let her know just that.

“You can’t be serious? You aren’t coming home tomorrow?” The ‘mom voice’ was in full effect.

“I am taking a few days for myself Scar.  I need it. A change of scenery and peace.  I am a mess and I can’t take it anymore.” There was a pause from her before the sigh.  No doubt, she had a lot to say but she refrained from saying it.

“Okay…”

“Okay? Really? Just okay? No demanding I return home this instant? Who cast a spell on my sister?”  Her quiet laugh sounded in your ear.

“[Y/N], I love you. You are right about everything you said. Get out of town for a while and see what the rest of the world looks like.  I can’t keep you all to myself without hurting you further.  I thought I could make you better but you are right. You’re a mess and you need to the time to fix yourself.  Just be safe please.”  The defeat in her voice hurt.

“Scarlet, it’s not like I am not going to go home.  I just…”

“I know [Y/N/N].  Take the time sweetie.  You need it.  Look call me tomorrow or whenever you want.  I will back off, I promise.  Let you be yourself.  Love you.” The call disconnected before you had the chance to respond.  You thought you had hid your depression and exhaustion better.  Obviously, you had not and people were seeing through the front. The guilt that swelled inside of you made your stomach turn.  No other being should have to take on the chaos that swirled around within you every moment.  Especially your sister.  She too, had to deal with the death of her parents.  

It was difficult to fight back the tears but you did it.  Swallowing them down and pushing against the darkness that tried to take over your thoughts.  The exhaustion this caused only furthered your desire to rest and find some sort of peace with the new day.  As you lay in bed trying to find comfort in the strange place a few of the errant tears streamed onto the pillow.  “Goddess please give me the strength to find what will bring back the light.”

 Your hopes had been that you would feel completely better after a good night’s sleep.  That the heaviness in your chest would no longer plague every breath you took.  It was not what would happen.  Though, you were slightly more rested, it all remained.  There was a text on your phone from Scarlet wishing you a good morning. It took a lot of will power to not call her sobbing.  You wished it would all go away.  The exhaustion, the depression… Was it too much to ask to feel human again?

Once you stood up from the bed, you took a few long deep breaths to assist with pushing on through your day.  Calling on your powers, you tried to fill yourself with light in an attempt to reenergize yourself.  Even if it was only for a short time.  As you made your way downstairs, the woman who owned the B&B met you at the base of the stairs.  “Morning Miss Avery.  I have breakfast ready and waiting in the dining room.  Would you like any coffee?”

You could smell the sugary sweetness of syrup coming from the direction of the other room. “Actually do you have any tea?”  The woman beamed at you as she nodded.

“A girl after my own heart. I have a lovely mint, chamomile and a black tea.  Which would you prefer?”

“Mint please!  Thank you so much.”  That little bit of comfort in the form of hot liquid and a pinch of sweetness, helped make the rest of your morning.  With the belly full of food and tea, you set out to explore the little town.

You knew there was a lot of history in this town just as there was in Salem.  But in Mystic Falls, there were just as many stories of vampires as there were witches.  Walking along the streets it was easy to feel the power the emanated from everything.  Perhaps before you left you would perform a ritual to see some of the old events, see what had been covered up in the history books.

Being out in the clean air helped your mood a great deal.  Paired with the tea and breakfast you had, everything did not look as dark as it felt the previous night.  By lunchtime, you were starving from all the walking.  The Mystic Grill was downtown and looked to be fairly busy.  Busy by this little town’s standards at least. You found a quiet booth off to the side of the main dining area.  It gave you the vantage to people watch around the room and private enough for you to read one of the books you had packed in your bag.

A good-looking guy, who introduced himself as Matt, came to take your order.  “What can I get you?”

“Umm how about… a burger and fries, a water and two shots of chilled tequila.”  He laughed at the combination.

“Sure thing.”  As he walked off a group walked in, talking loud and all over each other.  Bonnie was talking to another pretty girl with long dark hair.  Your eyes made contact, causing her to smile and wave. You returned them both as she told her friends she would be right back.

“Hey, [Y/N].  How goes the exploring?”

“Actually not bad. This town is beautiful and so much history.  I have had a good time.  Now I am going to eat and decide what I want to do for the rest of the afternoon. Maybe explore more, maybe nap. Who knows.”  Matt returned with your drinks as he said hello to Bonnie. Of course, everyone here knew each other.

“Oh a little liquid lunch?” She laughed as you downed one of the shots.  The cool liquid burning as it slide down.  It was wonderful.

“Nope just an appetizer.”

“I need to get back to my friends but don’t forget Grams wants you over for dinner tonight.  She said six sharp.”  

“I will be there.”  The burger was delicious and it hit the spot.  Combined with the two tequila shots you felt ten times better.  You left Matt a big tip and a wink as you waved goodbye from across the room.  As you left the Grill, you were not paying attention to where you were going and walked right into the solid chest of someone else.  Your bag fell to the group as a flurry of apologies flew from both of your lips.

“I’m so sorry…”

“I’m sorry!”  When you had the chance to look up to see who you had run into, all you could see were forest green eyes, wide with shock.

“Mary...”  Hearing the name of your mother sent your heart racing.

“How do you know my mother?”

 Part 2

tags: @feelmyroarrrr  @bolontiku  @aquabrie   @malindacath  @almondbuttercup @hellkat2  @dustycelt

[softforimjaebum]

lost my mind

Im Jaebum x Reader

Chapter 1

Word Count: 2.2k

Genre: Angst

Summary: Two strangers, one park, a lot of emotions.

Author’s Note: This is most definitely be a series, mostly full of wholesome nihilism.

He hated himself.

This was no secret to his own mind, but to the world, he was invincible. He had to be. He had six boys depending on him to carry them through a world so competitive that most people didn’t make it as far as they did. Any signs of weakness, especially coming from him, could potentially ruin them.

And he could never stand to watch the boys he loved as dearly as he loved his family fade into the oblivion, not because of him, and never ever on his watch. He was their leader, after all.

He had stopped questioning why he hated himself, he just did. It wasn’t as if it was stopping him from functioning on a fundamental level, so he saw no use in trying to figure it out. It would just be a waste of his time. There were better things he could be doing. There was always some excuse he found to avoid thinking too much.

He had realised early in his idol career that auto-pilot was the best way to survive the life he led. When you constantly avoid emotions, it isn’t so difficult to be unfazed.

Tonight, he had decided when he snuck out of his dorm, would be chalked up as a particularly bad night. He felt too much. The boys had decided to put on a particularly inspirational movie, the ones that show a struggling protagonist overcoming some adversity in their life. It usually did not get to him, but he had been on the edge for the last couple of days, after all, they had a comeback in exactly a week; and it had taken a toll on him.

As soon as he saw traces of his own struggles in the protagonist, he felt the all familiar numbness spreading through his arms along with his chest tightening painfully. He clenched and unclenched his fists, but the strange feeling his arms refused to leave.

Once he was sure that the rest of the boys were well engrossed in the movie, he had walked back to his room. He hurried to find his hidden pack of cigarettes, grabbed the nearest warm clothes he could find and rushed right out.

He was currently walking through the streets of Seoul, on his way to a park that was usually abandoned enough at this time of the night to let be alone for a while. Suppressing emotions on a daily basis had certain repercussions, such as this particular night. He was full to the brim of emotions he hadn’t dealt with properly, not that he knew how to anyway, not that he wanted those emotions to exist anyway. He didn’t like feeling like this when was around people and especially around his members. They needed him to be the strong and dependable leader, and the strong leader can’t be having anxiety and feelings such as his own.

A loud sob pulled him away from his thoughts, and he found himself looking straight at a girl sitting on the sidewalk, crying her eyes out. She looked dressed up, and extremely messed up. He figured by the way her hair was all over the place and just how loud she was that she had a little too much to drink. And he knew he should have been helping her get into one of the many taxis flying past them on the road, he knew he should have felt sad at her sight, or pity, or just anything at all. But he didn’t. He was numb. He had too much on his own plate to feel anything for a stranger he didn’t know or care for.

Maybe this is why you can’t be anything to anyone, Im Jaebum. Your heart is as cold as the weather is.

It didn’t take him long to reach his destination. And just as he had expected, the park was deserted and dark, barring a couple of benches which were lowly lit lamps. His plan was to smoke, listen to music, and just zone out. But these things never really go to plan do they? He hadn’t planned on being a crying mess in the middle of a park, not that it hadn’t before, but that wasn’t his plan. But then a sad song made its way onto his playlist shuffle, and the dams just burst.

He didn’t remember feeling this lost in a long time. He knew it was probably the stress making him so volatile, but he just couldn’t stop crying. The pressure of the path he had chosen, the responsibilities he didn’t quite know how to handle, the constantly sadness he lived with; it was all just too much for him. He wasn’t the type to believe crying helped with anything, but here he was, a crying mess in a random park, all alone. And the loneliness, god that didn’t help him in the least.

He hadn’t thought about it much before, but writing for this new album had made him reflect on his life a lot. And he had realised how he didn’t have anyone to get inspiration from when his boss had asked him to try his hand at a love song. After a week of trying to write, trying to find inspiration in movies and books and booze and girls, he came up empty. He wasn’t allowed to date before this year, but he hadn’t had anyone before that ban either. And even during the time, he didn’t feel anything for anyone, not strongly enough to invest his time in them anyway. He had little time to himself, and spending that on just some girl didn’t make sense to him.

There were girls, but they lasted a night, two if he couldn’t find anyone more interesting than them. It always started at some random private club, and ended with him sneaking out. And it made him feel emptier. Like he was missing a vital emotion, or a vital part of his brain that he just couldn't find it in him to feel any attachment to these people.

Not that he thought he was capable of feeling that way for a person anyway. He saw the way his members reacted to sweet things being done for them, to love, to sadness. He saw them feeling without pretending to be feeling, so unlike him. He knew when to feel, but he more often than not didn’t feel it. And on the off chance he did, it was sadness. Its like he was constantly stuck in a fog of sadness. He was jealous of them on nights like this, because no matter how sad they were, he knew any one of them would help that girl. And it was because of this very reason that he had convinced himself that there was no way a person could make him feel a certain love for them.

He was crying, and sad, and empty. And he didn’t know how it was possible to feel so sad and so empty at the same time.

And that is how she found him. A mess on the grass, crying, wearing a black hoodie large enough to engulf him.

She knew she should have just turned out and left, because why the fuck won’t you? She was seeing an unknown man, sitting there crying, who was probably drunk. Why else would anyone be crying at a park than at their home? Everyone wasn’t crazy like her. Staying there looking at him was not the safest idea and definitely not the brightest either.

But she just couldn't leave him. As much as she despised humans, she knew what it felt like to come to secluded places to be alone, after all, she was doing the same thing here. If he indeed turned out to be a drunk creep and things out out of hand, she had a pepper spray large enough that if she emptied it all on him he would probably pass out from the pain. But in the slight chance that he wasn’t a drunk creep, her heart wouldn't let her live if she left him alone.

This is it. This is why you are an idiot. Why the fuck do you care about people so much?

She knew this though. She cared way too much, and then she cared way too little. She had realised a long time ago that there were certain things, certain situations that she couldn’t stop caring for, and then certain others she couldn't even give a fuck about.

In this situation, for example, something in her just wouldn't let her leave. Maybe it was the broken people radar she joked with her friends about, maybe it was the universe. She wished she could be unfazed about this man because there was too much she felt that she needed to get rid of instead of trying to talk to a stranger about his problems.

While she had made up her mind to stay, she didn’t quite know how to approach this man. Trying to talk to a crying man at a park was awkward, but just standing there doing nothing but staring at him was even worse. If he caught her staring she would want to dig a grave and die of embarrassment right there.

In the end she decided to just approach the bench he was sitting on and hope he heard her footsteps. If not, well, she would just have to wing it.

As she walked towards him, she noticed his body tensing up, guessing he had heard her. But he never turned around to look at her.

“Excuse me” she spoke when she was at a respectable distance from him, not too far away and definitely not too close.

He only lifted his head as a response, waiting for her to continue.

“Are you okay? Are you drunk?”

Yes, well fucking done. Of all things to ask a man in such a situation, asking whether or not he’s drunk is totally the best option. Totally not insensitive in the least.

As she waited for his response, she continued to curse herself mentally for asking a question that dumb.

He cleared his throat, and her hands reached inside her own hoodie, just in case she needed that pepper spray.

Still not turning to look at her he replied, “Yes. And no. Now can you leave me alone?”

Harsh. But hey, what else was she expecting going up to a crying stranger?

“Oh, sorry, I didn't mean to disturb you. Its just that not many people come here at this time of the night and I just wanted to make sure you were okay”

She waited a short while for his response, and he just continued to be silent.

“Well, okay then. I’ll leave you alone. Sorry again for disturbing you”

She spotted another dimly lit bench, a little farther to his left and decided to set up camp there. Stepping forward to cross the bench, seeing as there were bushes right behind his bench, she heard him speak lowly.

“Why?”

She stood frozen, right in front of him, not understand what he was asking her. He seemed to have sensed that, seeing as he clarified his question.

“Why did you want to make sure some stranger in a park was okay?”

Oh boy. She didn’t necessarily know the answer to that herself, and if she tried explaining that to her, she would ramble for longer than he would probably want to listen. This was the sort of question she would chalk up as ‘deep existential talk’ under her ‘only talk about when high’ folder. She waited a little while, thinking about the right way she could put her thoughts in a sentence.

He waited patiently, and she looked down at him. His face was dimly lit under the street light, and his hood along with his hair covered most of his face. His head still wasn’t held high, but she could vaguely make out his features. He looked young, maybe around her own age; and perhaps it was the dim light or the shadows on his face because of his hoodie, everything about what she could see of his face was soft, from his nose to his chin to the curve of his cupid’s bow. She couldn’t see his eyes, his fair falling thickly over them. But he looked so beautiful. No, cross that, he looked poetic. And she was a sucker for poetic boys.

Forcing herself out of her trance, she answered his question.

“Because feeling like no one cares for your pain is the worst feeling”

And with that, she walked to the bench she had spotted earlier.

[emma-writes-stuff]

I’m ready for the last part and once again thanks sm for putting up with my technical difficulties💕💕

No problem! I hope you like the last part!

https://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=232702376

 It had been a few weeks fromthat night, and nothing had changed. Other than the fact that Eleven was back,Max was officially “part of the group”, Billy hit on you slightly less thanusual, and your nightmares were worse than ever before. But this time youdidn’t have Steve to get you through them.

You and Steve were still bestfriends, nothing had changed there. You were still inseparable. He was alwaysat your house, at your locker, driving you home, etc. But you just couldn’tbring yourself to pick up that phone and call him anymore after he had kissedyou. At school was fine, but at night, when you were alone in your bed, youcouldn’t bear to have him hold you and whisper in your ear and fall asleep nextto you, knowing that nothing would ever happen between the two of you becausehe was so appalled by kissing you he would apologize for doing it. And youdefinitely didn’t have the will to tell him that most of the time yournightmares were about losing him.

So, you told him thenightmares had stopped. And whenever he asked why you had black rings underyour eyes or hadn’t slept the night before, you lied.

That day was the middle schooldance, which you were volunteering at for your brother. Hence, you needed aquick ride home, and Steve was the man for the job.

As you climbed in the car, yousmiled at him, throwing your backpack to the floor. “Hey, beautiful,” he saidwith a smile.

“Hey, Mediocrity At Its Best,”you grinned. “You bringing my brother and I to the dance tonight?”

“You know it.”

“Great,” you smiled at him. Itwas just a small smile, but he lit up inside, knowing that that flash of whiteteeth and the happiness on your face had been caused by him. God, he was introuble.

You yawned, only thenrealizing the full extent of your exhaustion and the toll that going three dayswithout any sleep was taking on you. “Hey, Steve, do you mind if I nap the wayhome? I’m so tired.”

“Yeah, go for it. Get in asmuch rest as you can. You know Dustin and the rest of them’ll be so hyper afterthe dance neither of us are gonna get to sleep tonight.”

You laughed a little. “Yeah,you’re right. Alright, ‘night Steve.”

He laughed, too. “Night, Y/N.”

As you closed your eyes, youalmost immediately sunk into a deep sleep. And, with deep sleep, came thehorrible nightmares you had been avoiding for days.

You hadn’t realized it, butafter only a few minutes, you had started thrashing around, whimpering andcrying out in your sleep. Steve was trying to push through, to not mess withyou and to just let you sleep and get you home, but when you screamed out hisname in terror he pulled the car to the side of the road as quickly as possibleand grabbed your hand.

“Y/N! Y/N, please, please,wake up,” he said, emotion filling his voice.

Your eyes flew open and youpanted heavily, the tears racing down your face quickly and without control.You wiped at them frantically, your breaths getting heavier and more ragged bythe second.

“Hey, hey,” Steve saidquietly, reaching his arms around you in an embrace. “It’s okay.” He strokedyour hair as you cried into his shoulder for a moment, only letting go of youwhen you suddenly pulled away and wiped at your tears quickly.

“I thought the nightmares wentaway. What—what happened?”

Suddenly, you were angry. Youwere angry about these nightmares that haunted you everywhere you went, angryat the world for shoving you in this mess, angry at Steve for making you fallin love with him. You were frustrated, and finally you were ready to snap.

“I had the same nightmarethat’s kept me up the last month, Steve. The same one that leaves me screaming my head off and sobbing myself tosleep every night. Well, every night that I actually go to sleep, anyway,I’ve been mostly trying to avoid sleep lately, it hurts too much to go to bedevery night and know that I’m going to watch you die in a million ways rightbefore my eyes. Most of the time it goes a little something like you and me inthe Upside Down, I’m hugging you and then out of nowhere Dustin’s voice screamsthat I have to choose to save you or let you die, and I never know what thatmeans, and then Dart leaps out of the wall and shreds you to pieces right infront of me, but somehow I can never move because I’m trapped, and you laythere screaming and bawling my name, yelling at me and telling me that I couldhave saved you, that I’m doing this to you, that I’m killing you, and thenDustin starts yelling the same thing, then Mike, then Lucas, then Max, untilI’m screaming my lungs out over it all begging it to stop, begging for me tojust die and let it all be over, until I’m not trapped anymore and I collapseto the ground and crawl over to you, and you just grab my hand and say—say thatyou had loved me and then I killed you. And then you just die on the spot, butI can’t wake up. No, I just sit there with your blood spreading all over mewhether I’m touching you or not, and then I finally die and ‘wake up’ again insome new hell where you die again. And it happens over and over and over againuntil I wake up. And then the next night it happens again. And again. Andagain.”

He stared at you as tears randown your face and you angrily yelled all that you had been going through thelast month, and he felt genuine pain gather in himself and tears begin to prickat his own eyes. And when you had finished, his eyes looked right into yours ashe whispered, his voice filled with hurt, “Why did you lie? Why didn’t you tellme about this, or call me, or anything—”

“Why do you think, Steve?” yousnapped, your tears finally ceasing as you grabbed your backpack off the floorand pushed open the door.

“Thanks for the ride, but Ithink I’m just going to walk the rest of the way home,” you whispered, pain inyour voice. “See you at 6.” And with that, you slammed the door shut with aloud bang.

 ~

 https://www.polyvore.com/untitled_237/set?id=232398726

 You stood in front of yourmirror in your room, smoothing out your dress and nervously re-adjusting youralready perfect hair. It wasn’t that you wanted or needed to look goodchaperoning for a middle school dance, it was just that you were so nervousabout seeing Steve after snapping at him today you felt a compulsive need to keepfidgeting with your hands. You felt awful about what you said, yet somehowrelieved. He hadn’t deserved for you to yell at him like that for something sofar out of his control, but he knew now. And with fear of him knowing camealmost a relief that you didn’t have to hide your nightmares from him anymore.You didn’t have to layer on concealer under your baggy eyes or drink ungodlyamounts of disgusting black coffee in the morning to convince him you werefine. But, you would have to eventually explain to him why the kiss had hurtyou so much—and that was what scared you the most.

Even though you were sure thetwo of you would be able to work it out tomorrow, you didn’t think you couldbear to see him tonight after only a few hours had passed between yourbreakdown. So, you had arranged a ride with Nancy and Jonathan, who werechaperoning with you, and you were hoping to sneak out before Steve even gotthere to pick up Dustin.

Unfortunately, fate was not onyour side tonight, because the doorbell rang that second, and your mother’sever-cheerful voice chimed through the house, “Steve’s here!”

You sighed, leaning your headagainst the wall. You weren’t only going to see him tonight, you were going tosee him in the tightest, most form-fitting, sexiestdress you had ever worn, heels, and more makeup than you would ever usuallywear. The dress wasn’t even that promiscuous by most standards, but themedium-sleeved blue lace top hugged your curves tightly, showing off your body,and the dress flared out just below the waist, making your boobs look bigger,your stomach flatter, and your waist smaller. You couldn’t believe your mom hadpicked it up on a whim that night for $5 while looking for a tie for Dustin.You looked and felt more beautiful than you ever had before. Your hair cascadedin perfectly done curls around your shoulders, and your silver make-up madeyour eyes shine, a glittery dusting of silver making you look magical as thelight rested on your collarbone.

“Y/N! Come on, Dustin’salready down here and I want pictures!”

You took a deep breath andstepped out into the hallway, not noticing Steve’s sharp intake of air when he caughta glimpse of you at the top of the steps.

With each step you took, Steve’sheart was racing faster and faster, his mouth dropping more and more. You wereabsolutely stunning.

Your mom clutched at her heart,exclaiming how beautiful her daughter was, but all Dustin noticed was the lookon Steve’s face and the blush on yours as you tried to avoid his gaze.

“Hey, Dusty!” you said with agrin. “Don’t you look handsome?” You adjusted his tie proudly. “All those girls’heads are gonna turn when they see you walk in. Especially with that hair, itadds an extra foot.” He smacked your arm, and both you and Steve laughed. “Wasthe hair his idea?” you laughed, pointing your thumb over at Steve, temporarilyforgetting all of the afternoon’s events.

“Yeah,” Dustin blushed.

“Well, you look way betterthan he does with it,” you said teasingly, to Steve’s dismay.

After a few pictures with youand Dustin, you, Dustin, and Steve, just you, just Dustin, and one very awkwardone with just you and Steve, a car honked outside.

“Sorry, Mom, that’s Nancy and Jonathan,”you said.

“Alright, honey, see you afterwards,”your mom said with a smile.

Steve looked over at you, surpriseand hurt in his eyes, his smile falling. “Wait, you’re not coming with Dustinand I?”

“I—I’m sorry, I just…” youtook a deep breath. “I gotta go, Steve. I’ll—I’ll see you tomorrow.”

And before he could sayanything else, you ran out the front door and jumped in the backseat of Nancy’scar, as Steve stood inside and watched it speed off.

After a minute of silence,Dustin looked up. “If we leave now, you can still get to the dance before Nancyand Jonathan. We have the shortcut back road they don’t know about.”

“Why would that matter,Dustin?”

“Because you need to get to mysister before she gets into the dance and win her over, damn it!”

 Steve’s car pulled into themiddle school parking lot and he turned to Dustin, who had a nervous look inhis eye as he looked in the doors at everyone dancing.

“Alright, so…we’re here. Justremember, when you get in there—”

“Pretend like I don’t care.”

“You don’t care.”

“I don’t care!”

“There you go, you’relearning, my friend.”

As Dustin reached up to pulldown the mirror, Steve turned to him.

“Hey.”

“What?”

“You look great, okay? Youlook great. You look great.”

“Great?”

“Great! Now, you’re gonna goin there—”

“Yeah!”

“Look like a million bucks—”

“Yeah!”

“And you’re gonna slay them.”

“Like a lion.” Your brotherlooked over at Steve with a sly look and attempted a cross between a tongueroll and a growl, making Steve shake his head.

“Yeah, uh, don’t do that,okay?”

“Alright,” Dustin noddedsolemnly.

Steve raised his hand andclasped it with Dustin’s before nodding. “Good luck.”

“You too.” At the look onSteve’s face, Dustin said, “It looks like Y/N just got here. Don’t screw up.”

And before Steve could sayanything else, Dustin hopped out of the car and walked over to his sister.Steve smiled as he saw Dustin’s mouth say something that looked like a “youlook great”. Those were the people he loved most in the world right there, you smilingthat beautiful smile of yours and Dustin grinning up at you, excited to go intohis first middle school dance. Before he knew it, the two of you began to walk,and while Dustin walked right in, being one of the last ones to arrive, youpaused at the bottom of the steps. You said something to Nancy and she gave youa sad smile and a comforting pat on the shoulder before she and Jonathan walkedin, leaving you standing on the bottom step alone.

Before his head even knew whathe was doing, Steve’s legs had pushed him out of the car, his arms slammed thedoor, and his beating heart was walking you over to the beautiful girl sittingdown on the steps of the middle school, staring at the sky and looking like shewas carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders.

“Y/N?” he said softly.

Your eyes immediatelybrightened at the sound of his voice. You loved his voice, something you toldhim frequently. Nothing about it in particular, you just loved the way itsounded. Sometimes, you made him talk just so you could listen more intently totry to figure out what it was that you loved about his voice so specifically.But, you never found it. All you knew was that when he laughed or smiled while hespoke it was your favorite sound in the whole world.

“Steve? What are you doing here—”

“Y/N, I’ve never been more terrifiedof anything in my life than saying what I’m about to say, but I’ve held it infor a year and now I’m afraid I’ll never get another chance to say it again, soI’m just going to blurt it out now—I’m in love with you.” He didn’t notice yourwide eyes, or the tears gathering in them as you stood up and moved closer tohim. “I’m in love with your smile, your laugh, your voice, your personality,your eyes, and the way you make me feel when I’m around you. And even though Iknow, I know, that I could never doanything to make me deserve you, I just want you to know that—”

He was cut off by your lipsgently connecting with his, your hands intertwining in his hair as his arms instinctivelywrapped around your waist to pull you closer. The kiss was short, but as you pulledaway, the look in his eyes said it all.

“I’ve been head over heels foryou since you first picked up that stupid baseball bat a year ago and jumped infront of me to hit a Demogorgon into Ms. Byer’s dining table.”

“You…you really—”

The childlike grin spreadingacross his face was contagious as you buried your face in his sweater, gigglingagainst his chest. You felt his warm hand make its way to your face, his fingergently guiding your chin up so you were looking into his eyes that looked likethey had been melted into a soft, gooey chocolate. “I don’t think I’ve everbeen this happy in my life,” he whispered, the words making your heartdissolve.

You raised up onto yourtiptoes, pressing your lips against his again, but this time, when you parted,you rested your head on his chest, swaying back and forth to the music inside.

“You know, I should really goin there. Mr. Clarke’s gonna come out looking for me if we stay out here anylonger,” you said with a grin.

“I’d like to see him try.” Bothyou and Steve laughed, your voices filling the air.

“Do you want to come in withme? We were missing a chaperone, anyway. Then both of us can keep an eye onthose little shits in there.”

He grinned at you, his eyesfilled with adoration. “Sounds good to me.”

As you grabbed his hand and startedto pull him up the steps, you turned around and smiled at him, making his heartflutter. Everything he had wanted for the last year was finally right in front ofhim, and it was better than he ever thought it could be.

[queen-of-deans-booty]

Hell House- Part 1

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Word Count: 2,386

Warnings: Typical Supernatural violence, angst, language, minor character death, blood, you know the usual

Summary: You have to get your mind off tings so to do so, you take a case in Texas. It’s not what it seems.

Author’s Note: I do not own anything from Supernatural. All credit goes to their respective owners. Please, if you want to be tagged for this series, let me know and I’ll add you! If you want to be tagged for my other fics, I’ll add you! I want to hear what you guys think about this. If you want something requested, send it in!

Feedback is always appreciated

Tags at the bottom

Read the backstory here:

Smoking Pot with Dean

Events from the past few days were taking a real toll on your body. You were exhausted and worn out. You were sad ever since you met Meg. You felt numb and you didn’t know how to cope with this new information.

Meg was the one who killed your mother and there was nothing you could have done to stop it. Days after the recent events, your heart was still heavy and you didn’t feel like doing anything. Yeah, Meg was dead and she wouldn’t be any harm to you but you had the feeling that she was the one who won.

You spent your whole life trying to find the thing that killed your mom only to come face to face with it years after it happened. Somehow, your mother’s death was your fault and you had no idea why it was. Were demons coming after you because of something your mom did?

What was that evil thing she mentioned in her letter? What was she keeping from you? Even in death, your mother was trying to protect you. But she wasn’t here anymore so it was up to you to get answers. All you could do right now is save people and hunt things while you searched for answers.

That is why when you found a case, you were eager to get a jump on it. You needed something to distract yourself with because otherwise, you wouldn’t be able to survive with the thoughts running through your head.

“Okay, munchkin, do you remember what I taught you?” Your mother asked with a huge smile.

“Yeah! You have to stir it a lot until all the stuff mixes together.” You giggled, standing on a step stool while you mixed the cookie batter as best as you could.

“That’s right.” Your mom said, kissing your head.

“I hope Dean likes the cookies. He’s sad all the time and I just want to see him smile. He’s my friend and none of my friends are allowed to be sad.”

“Honey, I bet Dean will love the cookies. He’s lucky to have a friend like you. You know he’s been through a lot recently.”

“His mommy died.” You said quietly as you stirred.

“Yeah, she did. That’s why he needs a friend right now and you’re the best friend he will ever get.” She said, watching you stir.

“You’re not going to die, right mommy?” You asked, looking at her. She smiled and brushed some hair away from your face. She kissed your cheek and shook her head.

“I’m not going anywhere.”

“Sweetheart?” You were pulled from your thoughts and you looked at Dean who was driving.

“What?” You asked, not knowing what he said, if he said anything.

“I asked if you were okay. You looked like you were spacing out.”

“I’m fine. Where are we?” You asked, changing the topic quickly.

“A few hours outside of Richardson. We are almost there.” Dean said, looking back at the road.

“Look at Sam. He looks so peaceful.” You said, sliding closer to the younger Winchester who was fast asleep.

“Let’s wake him up, shall we?” Dean grinned and felt around his car and held up a plastic spoon. For how much the man loved his car, he kept it rather dirty. He gently reached over and placed the spoon in Sam’s mouth, careful not to wake him up.

“He’s going to get pissed at you.” You sang and leaned back to watch the show. Whenever the boys played little pranks on each other, you were always the one to step back and watch it happen instead of participate. You didn’t want to relieve the tragic times you got hurt because of them.  

“He’s a big boy, he can handle it.” Dean grinned and took his phone out and flipped it open, taking a picture of Sam with the spoon.

“Dean, eyes on the road.” You warned. As much as you loved Dean’s driving, no one should be on the phone while driving. Dean put his phone away and grinned, looking back at you.

“Cover your ears, sweetheart.” You did as you were told and Dean put the music all the way up, singing at the top of his lungs. Sam jolted awake and once he realized something was in his mouth, he spit it out and grimaced. You giggled and kept your hands over your ears, waiting for Sam to turn down the music.

Dean started drumming his hands on the steering wheel and you grinned, thinking Dean was so adorable. You were glad he was yours.

“Ha, ha, very funny.” Sam said, turning the music down.

“Sorry, not a lot of scenery here in East Texas, kind of gotta make your own.” Dean said, driving. You put your hands back down and grinned, watching the exchange.

“Man, we're not kids anymore Dean. We're not going to start that crap up again.” Sam scoffed quietly.

“Start what up?” Dean asked, trying to feign innocence.

“That prank stuff. It's stupid, and it always escalates. Right, Y/N?”

“Oh no, I am not getting involved this time. Remember what happened last time I got involved? You broke my arm and I couldn’t hunt for three weeks. This is why I stay out of this. Prank each other all you want. I’m done with it.”

“See what I mean, Dean?”

“Aw, what's the matter Sammy, scared you're going to get a little Nair in your shampoo again?” Dean joked around.

“Alright, just remember you started it.” Sam said after a while. You rolled your eyes and promised yourself you wouldn’t help either boy with any of the pranks; no matter how hilarious it might seem.

“Ah ha, bring it on baldy.” Dean grinned.

“Where are we anyway?” Sam wondered, dropping the topic of pranks.

“Almost to Richardson. About a month or two ago, this group of kids goes poking around in this local haunted house.” You started to say, leaning forward so both boys could listen.

“Haunted by what?” Sam asked.

“Apparently, a pretty misogynistic spirit. Legend goes, it takes girls and strings them up in the rafters. Anyway, this group of kids see this dead girl hanging in the cellar.” You said, looking out the window. You memorized what you read on the computer so you didn’t have to look at it later.

“Anybody ID the corpse?” Sam wondered.

“Well, that's the thing. By the time the cops got there the body was gone. So, cops are saying the kids were just fooling around.” You shrugged.

“Maybe the cops are right.” Dean said.

“Maybe, but I read a couple of the kids’ firsthand accounts. They seemed pretty sincere.” You said, not believing what Dean said. You had a knack of knowing when things were wrong and when they were right. You couldn’t explain it away.

“Where'd you read these accounts?” Dean asked, suspicious as to where you got the information. You blushed immediately and tried to avoid both Sam and Dean’s stares at you. You had to do some serious digging on this case and you couldn’t help yourself.

“Well, I knew we were going to be passing through Texas so, last night, I surfed some local paranormal websites.” You said quickly so the boys wouldn’t understand you but luck was not on your side today.

“And what's it called?” Sam asked.

“HellHoundsLair.com.” You said quietly.

“Let me guess, streaming live out of Mom's basement?” Dean said with a scoff.

“Yeah, probably.” Sam answered for you.

“Yeah. Most of those websites wouldn't know a ghost if it bit them in the ass.”

“Look, we let Dad take off; which was a mistake, by the way. Now, we don't know where the hell he is, so in the meantime, we gotta find ourselves something to hunt. There's no harm checking this thing out. Maybe Y/N is onto something.” Sam said, coming to your defense.

“Alright. So, where do we find these kids?” Dean wondered, giving in for now.

“Same place you always find kids in a town like this. Remember where we always used to go Dean, back home?” You grinned and thought of the fond memories of the place.

“Oh yeah, those were some good times, sweetheart.”

“Why? What happened? Are you talking about the place you and Dean went to without me?” Sam asked. He was always too young to hang out with you and Dean and the stuff you did were pretty illegal for under aged kids.

“Yes I am. We had to go without you. If John found out what we did, he would have never let us out of the motel rooms.” You giggled, seeing a smirk form on Dean’s face. It was probably a good thing he didn’t say anything.

“Why? What did you do?”

“Let’s just say we were lucky we didn’t come home drunk or stoned.” You giggled and looked at Sam.

“You really did that stuff when you were 17?” Sam said like he was judging you.

“Like you never wanted to.” Sam chuckled and shook his head, looking at the road.

It was night when you arrived at the local fast food joint called “Rodeo Drive”. You knew that the kids who went to the haunted house would be here. You knew what they looked like and it wasn’t hard finding them.

They were scattered throughout and you, Sam and Dean interviewed them all. You had 3 very different stories come from three very different people. While one thought the room was red, the others thought differently.

One said that there were crosses and stars but another thought pentagons. However, two things were the same in all three stories. There was a girl, hanging from the rafters and a man named Craig Thurston took them there.

“Holy shit, there is 2 hours I won’t get back.” You said after you were done. You looked at Dean to see him still processing the information they gave him.

“I think we need to go talk to this Craig guy. They told me where he was. He works at a music shop near here.” Sam said, looking at his brother.

“I thought I saw the shop when we passed by. It wasn’t far at all. We can walk there.” You said. You grabbed Dean’s hand and you three walked to the shop. When you entered, you smiled, seeing all the albums. You were always fond of record albums and record players but with hunting, you could never have one.

“Dean, these record albums are amazing.” You ran to one of the tables and sorted through them but you had work to do. This would just have to wait. You looked up when you saw an attractive young man walk from the counter and over to you three.

“Can I help you with anything?” He smiled.

“Yeah, are you Craig Thurston?” Sam asked. The man nodded and waited for more information on you and the boys.

“Well, we're reporters with the Dallas Morning News. I'm Dean, this is Sam and that’s Y/N.” You smiled when your eyes met his. He seemed excited by this and walked closer to you.

“No way, I’m a writer too. I write for my school’s lit magazine.”

“Well, good for you.” Dean said sarcastically. The look on Craig’s face faltered and you touched his shoulder.

“Don’t listen to him. I think that’s pretty cool. You like writing? Is that what you want to do?” He smiled again and nodded. “Then do it. Don’t let others discourage you.” You heard Dean clear his throat and you stepped back, remembering why you were here in the first place.

“Umm. We're doing an article on local hauntings and rumor has it you might know of one.” Sam said after.

“You meant the Hell House? I didn’t think there was a story to tell.” Craig shrugged.

“Come on, there has to be some story to it if people are so interested in it. Why don’t you tell it to us?” You smiled sweetly. Craig looked behind him as if he didn’t want others eavesdropping on him but he talked anyways.

“Well, supposedly back in the '30s this farmer, Mordachai Murdoch, used to live in this house with his six daughters. It was during the Depression, his crops were failing, he didn't have enough money to feed his own children. So, I guess that's when he went off the deep end.

“I guess he figured it was best if his girls died quick, rather than starve to death. So, he attacked them. They screamed, begged for him to stop but he just strung them up, one after the other. And when he was all finished he just turned around and hung himself. Now they say that his spirit is trapped in the house forever, stringing up any other girl that goes inside.” You looked at Dean and for once, you were thankful you were a girl. Maybe you could lure him out but you figured Sam or Dean wouldn’t let you.

“Where did you hear all of this?” Dean asked.

“My cousin Dana told me. I don't know where she heard it from. You have to realize, I didn't believe this for a second.” Craig said in a hushed whisper.

“But you do now?” You asked.

“I don't know what the hell to think. You guys, I'll tell you exactly what I told the police, ok? That girl was real and she was dead. This was not a prank, I swear to God. I don't wanna go anywhere near that house ever again, ok?” Craig looked genuinely scared and you nodded, not wanting him to break down.

“Thank you for your time.” You turned away from Craig and walked out of the shop.

“What do you think about it?” You looked up at Sam and Dean.

“I think we should pay a visit to this Hell House while it’s still daylight out.” You completely agreed and that is what you did.

The place was so isolated that you weren’t sure how people found out about this place. The path was muddy and as much as you hated getting mud stuck on your shoes, you didn’t complain. You and the boys always wore working boots and you were thankful as this time they came in handy.

Masterlist // Series Rewrite Masterlist // Buy me a Coffee?

Series Rewrite tags:

@helllonearth @amyisabellal @deanwnchstr @caseykitten6 @roxalya19 @quixoticcat @supernaturalblogging @notmoose45 @crowleysminion @mina22

Forever tags:

@that-annoying-band-potato @maddieburcham1 @ginamsmith @mogaruke @whit85-blog @inlovewithbja @spn67-sister @kdfrqqg @jarpadandjensenaremyheroes @roxyspearing @supercalifragilistic26 @mishamigose

Dean tags:

@akshi8278 @mega-mrs-dean-winchester @winchesterandpie

Other tags:

@jensen-jarpad @notnaturalanahi @deathtonormalcy56 @27bmm

[the-adorable-vinnie-dakota]

HoM: It All Started With An Outing Part 1

"Hey Milo! Ready to go?" Melissa asked through her friend's room door in waiting for him to come out. "Almost! Give me another minute!" Called Milo from the other side in response. Zack, a friend of hers and Milo, stood beside her with a chortle. "Is he always slow to get ready? It's already been five minutes." "Obviously yes." Melissa mused. "Of course he takes long to get ready. This is Milo Murphy - The guy who ends up getting combs stuck in his hair and spending half of five minutes packing his backpack." Zack did a double take. "Half of five minutes?! I can finish packing mine in less than a minute..Oh right," His voice drained away when he recalled something. "I take that back." She teased. "Slowpoke," Zack huffed when Melissa gave him a soft shove. Another five-! Nearly seven minutes have passed and yet no Milo is yet to come out. Deep inside, Melissa could feel herself getting impatient though ironically, Zack managed to maintain himself and patiently kept wait. Normally it was Melissa who often kept wait for Milo. This time however, her patience bar has run out if juice. It's been far too many times that a simple day out like this can be ruined - by not Murphy's law. "Okay he's taking too long! Milo's gotta hurry up or the best slushee dogs will sell out fast! I don't want us to have to miss that for the fifteenth time!" She muttered in sheer impatience. Zack's eyes grew wide. "Fifteenth time? Seriously?" Melissa didn't say nothing but only cursed in a hissed tone - putting her hand in her coat pocket out of instinct and sighing in relief. Her run out patience bar refilling. At least I have a reservation... It's a good thing I remembered it. She glanced at the door with a smile. He can take his time. We could be finished there before the end of the day anyway. Unknown to her, she didn't realise how close she was to the door and that there are ears perked up on the other side. ~MML~ Milo was only putting in the last few supplies in his backpack when the frustrated voice of Melissa reached his ears. He froze in guilt when she mentioned the number of times they missed the fast food delicacy and it was all because of him and delaying in preparation for Murphy's law. Dodging it is fun but packing... Takes up a lot of time. He should have expected this to happen. Even from Melissa. Oh Melissa. He felt guilty. I've been letting her down all this time. He stared at his backpack and then at the things he was supposed to put in. He knew he was delaying them in his preparations. The young Murphy pondered over. The stuff yet to be packed are merely a fifth set of ropes, a utility knife, night goggles and a container filled with tablets - A medicine Milo was prescribed in case the defect in his heart started acting up. Leaving the latter four objects shouldn't be too hard - Milo prayed that he wouldn't need them today. But the tablets are something that always went along with him. Nothing bad happens, but he'll never know... Should he? He reached out but his hand abruptly stopped, inches away from the medicine bottle. It's just for one day. Milo sighed in shoving away the doubts he had. As long as I stay slow, take easy breaths and don't overwork myself. He shrugged with a chuckle. "Oh what could go wrong in going without it for a couple hours?" I'll just have to take extra care on the road. Piece of cake! The Murphy tween wore the backpack around his shoulders and opened the door, his eyes momentarily glancing at the bottle that stood on his desk, before heading out fully… ~MML~ "I'm all packed up and ready!" Milo cheerfully spoke as he came out of the room, his friends showing relieved smiles. Melissa was the first attempt his side. "It's about time!" She linked arms with him before tugging. "Now come on, we gotta get to the Slushy Dawg fast." She stopped in abrupt remembering. "Or on second thought, we'll just go a regular pace." Zack frowned. Regular pace?!"We can always jog you know? The place is like only about six minutes away! We'll get there quicker if we speed up!" "Well we could do that but..." Milo and Melissa exchanged sad glances. The gesture worried Zack and Milo saw it. The air around them grew uncomfortable and Milo wanted to get out of that. "I can't run because of... Certain issues." He meekly spoke while rubbing his head. "And those issues are?" The dark-skinned boy inquired. I didn't know he had other issues outside of Murphy's law! What could those be? Melissa gave Milo a look of questioning. Should we tell him? Her look seemed to say. Milo just turned to Zack with a light smile. "I'll tell you at the Slushy Dawg later. Now we just gotta go as slow as possible to avoid triggering." He looked guilty. "I'm sorry I have to hold us up. Really, you two can just go run ahead to the place and I'll follow. That way it'll be easier on all of us." Melissa and Zack stopped and turned to Milo with firmness. "Oh no can do Milo, doing that is completely out of the question." Said the girl, her thoughts of not wanting to delay fully diminished. "There's no way we're leaving you behind!" Zack added and placed a hand on his shoulder. "You're our friend and friends don't leave each other behind." Milo felt touched. "Aw guys..." The two briefly leaned close for a one-arm hug before linking their arms around both of Milo's. "Now let's go get some slushy dogs, and maybe a sundae to top it off?" Melissa suggested to the eagerness of her friends. "I'm going for that as long as there's chocolate," Zack started to lick his lips. "I give two bucks for extra bananas!" Milo squealed - The other two shooting him amused looks. "What? I love banana sundaes!" He chuckled meekly while his friends either laughed or rolled their eyes. ~MML~ I hate it when this happens. Milo panted as he sat on the public bench, a hand clasped on his chest as he tried to catch his breath. His chest was acting up from the brisk walking he did. It didn't hurt, but it felt tight and Milo felt like his lungs had to shrivel really hard just to get a good amount of air. His breaths are raspy and Milo would splutter in hoarse coughs. Melissa and Zack winced as they stood in wait for Milo - His coughing and wheezing made them cringe. It was only a couple meters from the Murphy home when a fire hydrant burst and splashed an unlucky canine. Aside from that, Murphy's law occurrences are less, except breathlessness took it's toll on Milo and he had to stop to rest. "Does this happen to him a lot?" Zack frowned in worry. "Because usually when that happens to some people, they usually have either chronic lung illnesses or something to do with the heart." Melissa bit her lower lip and sighed. This is something she didn't want to be reminded of - Milo's had to avoid so much but yet his illness had to hinder him. Zack saw her worry. "He's got something to do with what I said, doesn't he?" The redhead looked back at the boy sitting on the bench. She made sure Milo wasn't focused on them before talking to Zack in whispers. "Did Milo ever tell you about his having certain health issues?" Zack tilted. "Well he did sorta. He told me he's gonna tell me about it in the Slushy Dawg," The two looked at Milo once more and over their shoulders - The Slushy Dawg stall can be seen across the road from the little hill they stood on. Zack decided he couldn't wait any longer. "So he has health issues, that I get. But what are they?" "Oh it's just one that we both knew of so far but it's something Milo is in deep risk of if he doesn't take it easy." She was about to whisper the next words in Zack's ear when a strong gust of wind blew past them. Melissa's coat fluttered in the air and a piece of pamphlet-like paper flew out. To her horror, the paper flew all the way across the road and splat, into the window of the fast-food place. "Oh no..." Melissa's hands flew to her hair in exasperation. "That was our lunch reservation! You know, so they can save the best for us when we get there?" She added quickly when Zack gave her a look of surprise. "Oh..." Zack scratched his head. Milo came to the two feeling slightly better from his bench rest. "Hey guys! What's with the-! Oh," His cheery tone drained when he saw a very familiar coupon for stuck to the slushy dawg window, a distance from where they are. By the look on Melissa face, he immediately knew it was a ticket to their hangout today. "Gosh Melissa, I don't know what to think of this," Milo felt down at the thought of him being responsible. "I'll get it for ya," He went forward only for Melissa to hold him back, with a kindly smile. "Don't blame yourself Milo. That," She pointed at the far window. "Can't be Murphy's law. Remember the law of proximity." She patted his shoulder. "I'll go get it. They don't call me Melissa Chase for nothing!" She proudly grinned before speeding off - an all orange, pink and tan blur. Zack immediately followed along. Milo did too and in quickened steps. "Milo maybe you should slow down," Zack stopped halfway before the crossing road pavement so he can stop Milo who was panting once again. "You'll over-work yourself again!" "Sorry Zack, I didn't realise I was getting fast back there," Milo rasped as his friend was quick to pat his back while he threw a coughing fit. "I swear I was only doing big steps to quicken my pace!" Zack shook his head. "Well that's still on the list of work and if you overdo it..." He frowned for he ran out of words to say. "You know the answer." Milo shakily nodded and inhaled - Feeling the tightness in his heart and lungs fade again. "Thanks for reminding me Zack-!" A scream cut him off as Elliot Decker ran past them, a couple of mad ducks nipping at his feet. Zack chuckled. "And now we're back on track," His compliment made Milo hold in a laugh. "Murphy's law, boom." A moment of silence passes. Milo didn't reply for his stare aimed up ahead where Melissa is standing. "Uh hello? Milo?" Zack waved a hand in front if the boy. "You've been staring at Melissa for quite a while," Milo continued to stare and started to shake. "I feel something… My chessy sense is tingling!" He held up a finger with a concentrated furrow of the brows. Zack blinked. Cheesy sense? He lowered a brow and was about to ask, only to see Milo growing stiff with his eyes fixated on a spot some distance away from Melissa who was crossing the street - the retrieved papers in her tight clutch. Zack finally saw why and horror began to sink in. Yet to fully recover from her minor frenzy to get back the reservation paper, Melissa did not notice the steamroller speeding her way. "Runaway steamroller!!" A couple men in construction uniform ran after the vehicle yelling in distress. The yells reached Melissa's "Milo?" He reached out to hold his shoulder only for Milo to suddenly run to the road where Melissa stood, screaming her name. "Melissa look out!!"

[the-angelsong]

Teardrops and Words left Unsaid

Sherlock Holmes had always avoided sentiment. That included all celebrations to that effect. Though he had, in recent years, been unable to avoid all traditional celebrations -Christmas was the bane of his existence- he had for the past twenty years at least, been able to slip past the day that marked his birth unseen.

Until today that is. Damn The Woman and her ridiculous flirting. Though she texted far more sparingly these days, her interruptions were always met with unseen consequences. Today's being an extremely awkward date with John and Molly.

John had gone through his own revelations today and Sherlock was pleased to see that his friend was finally on the road to recovery after Mary's death. But after going through such emotional turmoil, it is hard to get into a celebratory mood, despite his attempt at humor regarding the damn hat.

Add in to that equation Dr Molly Hooper, and things had gone from bad to worse. The short lived date had been filled with silences as all three participants had much on their minds. John had bowed out early, pointing out that Rosie was due to be picked up from her sitter. That just left Molly and Sherlock.

She was angry... more angry than he had ever seen her. He would have preferred her slap him again to the cold rage she exhibited now. But they were stuck together for the next eight hours at least. Damn John and his babysitting schedule. Sherlock could understand it he supposed, his friend's concern with his drug use. But the case was over, and he was still recovering from the toll of the drugs he had taken. He had no intentions of adding anymore right now. In fact he would say, it's safe to assume the next several months would be sober. But no amount of arguing would change the cold walk back to the flat with the angry pathologist at his side.

He did need to apologize to her, he knew this. But nothing he could think of was sufficient against this level of hostility. As he settled himself into his chair he regarded the small woman sitting opposite him. "You look well Molly, have you lost weight?" He tried to ask casually. Of course she'd lost weight, almost five pounds by the look of it. She looked tired and pale, and generally unhappy.

Molly Hooper fixed her stare at the man. "Really?" She asked, raising one carefully sculpted eyebrow.

"What?"

She scoffed, shaking her head. "So, what? I'm just supposed to pretend nothing happened, pretend everything's fine and forget that you just tried to kill yourself."

He thought about it, searching through the Rolodex of emotions and social cues he had learned. He didn't understand, he was fine now. Why should she still have a problem? Why should she be concerned with his health when her own was obviously in disrepair. "Yes?" He tried. Molly clenched her jaw tightly. Okay wrong answer he thought.

"You are unbelievably Sherlock." A tear made the mistake of leaking out of her eye and she viciously swiped it away. Sherlock opened his mouth to reply but she refused to let him get the last word. "And don't say it was for a case. I don't believe you."

There was nothing he could possibly say right now to help the situation so Sherlock sat in silence waiting for her to find the words she wanted to say.

"I know, John didn't want you around after..... after Mary. But we were all hurting." She started. God what am I doing? She asked herself. She wanted him to care, she wanted him to see her, to really see her. He needed to see that what he did effected more than just John. "Mary was a shining light that brightened everyone she touched. She was my friend too." Molly stared into his blank face praying for some kind of reaction, anything! That showed her the man she knew was in there. Did his eyes just soften?

She was in pain! Suddenly it all made sense. He had underestimated Molly's attachment to Mary and how she was feeling. He looked back on the interactions they had shared since her death. Molly at the funeral, back straight, holding John's hand. Molly in Baker Street, checking on Mrs Hudson. Molly taking Rosie for days on end so John could have a break. When was the last time she had been to work? He wondered.

"You just don't get it, she died, and you tried to kill yourself."

"I didn't!" He argued. "Molly I promise I didn't, it was for Mary. Molly please believe me." Had he tried to kill himself? Why would he have done that?

"Don't Sherlock, just don't. I examined you, I know exactly how close you came." Her voice trembled as she tried to reign in her emotions. Calm down Molly! She told herself. Getting emotional won't help anything, not with him.

His brow creased in worry. "Are you alright?" He softly asked her. Has anyone actually asked her that?

She let out a small laugh. "Look at yourself Sherlock, your a mess and your asking me if I'm okay?" She closed her eyes, needing some space from the man who tore her heart out.

She felt a warm hand encircle hers and opened her eyes in surprise. Sherlock had gotten out of his chair and was kneeling by her feet. "Yes, I am. Are you okay? Molly Hooper." He said his eyes piercing into her.

All at once she was undone, all of the pain, the heartbreak, the loneliness... everything, just everything, came out. And for the second time today, Sherlock Holmes held a friend as she cried in his arms.

There was nothing more he could do right now except press his nose to her hair, her shampoo smelled stronger than usual, probably because the underlying smell of formaldehyde was missing. Her sobs were gut wrenching and he felt utterly ashamed. How could you miss this? How did you not see her pain, you always see her.

When the tears finally ceased she looked up to the man who held her. He had been drawing daisies on her back for a while now and the comfort pained her. Why is he doing that? Why does he care? She looked down at his shirt which was stained with her tears and sniffed. "Sorry, about your shirt."

"It's fine, I have lots of shirts." He replied making no attempt to sever contact with her. It felt nice, having her in his arms. It felt.... right? What does that even mean? Honestly Sherlock, pull yourself together.

She sighed and wiped her eyes. It's time to let go now, that's enough, that will be enough. "I'm going to make some tea, did you want one?" She asked breaking away from him and standing up.

He waited till she had stepped away before standing and clearing his throat. "Yes, thank you. I'm going to, change my shirt." He said and headed for his room, closing the door behind him. He leaned against the frame unbuttoning the moist grey shirt. He had hurt so many people, so many and he never cared. Not like he cared for them, John Watson, Mary Watson. Molly.... Molly Hooper. He wished he didn't, he wanted so badly to go back to before. Before the fall at St Barts. You should have just stayed away, it would have been better for everyone.

He pushed down the self loathing and forced himself to change and head out into the kitchen, Molly was just finishing the tea and handed him his cup. "Sherlock I, I just wanted to say thank you for what you did back there." She nodded to the sitting rooms where he had held her. " I'm not sure I'd let myself cry really, about everything. I feel much better now." This was a lie, but a necessary one.

He nodded awkwardly rocking back on his feet. "I'm glad." Say something! For god sake man say something! If you don't say it now you never will! "Molly?" He asked stepping towards her.

"Hmm?" She replied taking a sip from her tea.

Sherlock took a deep breath and prepared himself. "Would you like to... watch the telly with me?" Good, don't say anything. You're kidding yourself anyway and you know it. It's a mild infatuation at best. Besides she is far too pure for you. Text The Woman back, she's more your style, a liar who doesn't really care about anyone unless it suits her... that's just like you.

"Ah, okay?" Said Molly, that was odd, I wonder what he's playing at now.

And so the detective and the pathologist settled in for a night of crap telly, both knowing and feeling more than they ever want to admit... little do they know when the east wind blows, everything will change.