#well ok except satan

[theothervonkarmagirl]

🍭:

always wonder how her partners feel about the completely one-sided Apollo feud lol

I know at least a couple would want her to stop. Especially if they had children. Because is that a good example for them? Someone embarrasses you one time and you terrorize them forever????

(Maria vc yes)

(Fun fact: It is hard to truly humiliate Maria, so the few people who manage to do it will be on her shit list for eternity)

I wonder if any would be indifferent or even encourage it tho omg

[oflgtfol]

im only like 25 mins into a walkthrough of cult of the lamb but it seems to be mocking like, christianity? even more so than just the whole satantic cult thing in and of itself. like it doesn’t seem to be edgy just to be edgy, like a lot of the way this religion functions, it has all the aesthetics of stereotypical evil satanic cults, but it borrows a lot of the language and organization of christianity, in a way that i can see as being purposefully mocking of modern christianity, though maybe thats just the ex catholic in me. lol.

[kxllerblond]

[rainbowsunshinegeesus]

i just went to some church thing and i found someone who said they remember me from high school 😦 which means they probably remember me walking round the school looking like this

[zephyrchama]

"Do I have to?" Beelzebub asked hesitantly.

"You chose dare!" Asmodeus exclaimed. "You have to! Call him!"

Belphegor sighed. "Why didn't you choose truth instead?"

"I wanted to know what the dare would be," Beelzebub said, truthfully.

Mammon grabbed the D.D.D. out of his hands and punched in Simeon's number himself. "Hurry up 'n make the call! We ain't got all night!"

Everybody huddled around as the phone line started ringing. They wanted to be within range to hear it. Everybody except Lucifer, who wanted no part of it. He was sipping a glass of Demonus across the room and making sure this party game didn't get too rowdy.

It took five rings for Simeon to pick up. He sounded a little groggy, like he'd been woken from sleep. "Hello?"

"Simeon? Hi." Beelzebub's greeting was ordinary, but it sent Mammon into a fit of giggles. Somebody had too much to drink.

"Shut up, he's gonna hear you," Satan growled. Mammon's laugh turned into a shriek of pain after receiving a sharp elbow to the side. Belphegor shushed them both.

"Beelzebub? Are you there? Are you with your brothers?"

Leviathan grabbed Beel's shirt. "He's on to us! Abort mission!"

"I can't hear, shut up, shut up!" Asmodeus leaned in closer and urged Beel, "keep going!"

"Simeon." A bead of sweat rolled down Beelzebub's brow. "Is your refrigerator running?"

Silence. It only lasted seconds, but it felt like an hour. Then, "the refrigerator? One second." Footsteps could be heard on the line as Simeon walked through Purgatory hall. "It was fine when I made dinner this evening. Why?"

"I need to know if your refrigerator is running."

"Ok, ok. Hold on..."

The demon brothers waited for an answer with bated breath. It was probably the most quiet they'd been in a century. They heard a heavy door being opened, and finally. Simeon's answer.

"Nothing looks broken. Everything inside is still cold, and the light is on, so... yes? I believe it's running fine."

"Yesss," Leviathan whispered. "Finish the job, Beel!"

Asmodeus could hardly contain his snicker. Satan had a hand over his own mouth, but his leg bounced in anticipation. Belphegor was mouthing the ever-so-important punchline with a twinkle in his eye.

"I see. Well, then. You better go catch it."

Everyone in the room exploded into laughter (except Lucifer, who rolled his eyes), and Beelzebub quickly hung up the call with a confident smile. Mammon whooped, Belphegor fell back in relief, Levi and Satan high-fived, and Asmodeus jumped on Beel to give him the tightest hug he could muster. This monumental success was worthy of another round of drinks, and another round of Truth or Dare.

----

Minutes later, Leviathan's D.D.D. pinged. It was a text from Simeon.

"How do I 'catch' a refrigerator? Everything looks alright, but I can't risk the food inside going bad. Please assist."

[experimentfae]

Alastor x Wife! Reader

Oneshot / fluff

After you and alastor had moved into the hotel to “help.” Let’s just say that the rest of the hotel residents saw pda all. The. Time.

Vaggie watched as alastor kissed your hand again! “Sweet satan can those two get a room already that’s literally the seventh time he kissed her hand.” She grumbled out “aw come on vaggie you have to admit it’s sweet seeing love like that’s down here, it’s rare, except our love of course.” Stated Charlie.

“I get it, we get like that, but the difference is that we do it SOMETIMES they do it EVERY TIME they have the chance.” She Argued “and besides I just really don’t like that radio dipshit.” “Oh please you don’t like anyone attached to a dick.” Angel dust butted in while he laid on the other couch busy looking at his phone.

Vaggie could only roll her eyes in response “well I think our pda is not of your concern.” Spoke alastor with a smug look which made everyone except you jump a little “satan’s asshole do you always have to come out like that?!” Argued angeldust “it’s more entertaining to watch all of you jump in a little scare.” Alastor replied proud of himself to make them a little scared.

“Dear even if it was quite hilarious we can’t do that to them all the time… it wouldn’t be entertaining anymore like that.” You advised him while you walked towards him to be next to him. “You’re right my dear, wouldn’t wish that.”

“Yep a match made in hell.” Grumbled out husk then he continued to take his beer “husk is right my dear we the perfect pair.” “I don’t think that’s what he meant sorta, but we are perfect for each other.” Just then you looked to see the clock then you let out a gasp “oh Al we don’t want to be late for our dinner reservations.” You stated, “oh yes, we must get ready.”

With a simple snap of his finger’s you and alastor were completely dressed “what’s up with the getup?” Angeldust questioned “it’s our anniversary, so we going to the cannibal colony to alastor’s favorite restaurant.” You smiled “wait you’re a cannibal too.” Vaggie asked in shock “well… I did try demon meat and it’s not that bad.” You answers shrugging your shoulders “so that’s a yes? Or … no?” Charlie questioned further “mmm yeah I believe so.” You answered again.

“Huh didn’t take you for a cannibal.” Spoke husk “yeah have you ate another’s man pecker and Al if she did would you be ok with that?” Questioned angeldust “absolutely not.” You both answered “enough with the questions we must hurry (y/n).” Demanded alastor “goodb- you didn’t get to finish you’re farewell due to alastor, once again he snapped his fingers and you were at the restaurant.

“Thankfully my love we made it on time.” Alastor spoke while he grabbed your hand and guided you inside the restaurant. A host was at the front seeming to writing something “welcome to the FedOnPals how may- when he looked up he immediately panicked “T-The alastor by hen smiled wider “yes me the radio demon and my lovely wife!” Alastor stated proudly also just because you knew he was an attention whore so he wanted others to know he was there.

Of course some of the cannibals in the restaurant seemed nervous. “Well- yes um of course I see you’re name on the list so… let me b-bring to your table.” The man said clearly wanting to get out of this situation as fast as possible.

Of course you two got the best seats in the house “a waiter will be with you shortly very… shortly p-promise.” The host immediately left with only made alastor chuckle “I do love the perks of being an overlord.” “Aw even more than me?” You teased with a smirk, he smiled wider “no dear you know I can’t love anything more than you.”

You smiled “I love the outfits you picked for us by the way very classy.” “Of course, only the best for my wife.” Just then a waiter came in “hello I’m Mindy and I’ll have your orders.” The demoness spoke as she gave you two the menus.

As the demoness left you two picked out your orders, ate, alastor paid then you two left to go to a jazz club to dance “oh honey you rembered my favorite spot.” You spoke with pure joy “I could never forget, besides our love for jazz is how we meet.” You smiled brighten as you pecked his cheek making him lightly blush “adorable.” “Me? adorable!? dear don’t joke like that.” Alastor demanded making you laugh “oh honey alright just having a little fun.”

Alastor opened the door for you, the song ‘lets misbehave’ by Irving Aaronson filled you’re ears “oh that’s a good song.” You stated, you thanked alastor and went through and he went after you.

You immediately dragged him to the dance floor which he happily let you, both you begin doing the Charleston funny enough this song always reminded you have alastor.

He then brought you into the foxtrot dance, you both looked into each others eyes that are filled with love. He the suddenly gave you a kiss making you blush but immediately kiss back.

You two continued dance, happy to in each others arms and having a loving relationship and knowing that you two where always will be inseparable.

<- Back to MasterList or back to Hazbin Hotel

[anauwhere]

Me: mh maybe I was over reacting when I blocked-unfollowed them gotta check them out again cause I'm bored

Satan: *left the chat at the sight of their url*

Me: do u know what? I should trust past me more she's always right

[koolades-world]

Hello hello I’ve had another idea!! For the bros

Ok so. This MC is a real solemn person. Hardly ever smiles. Loves their demons a lot, doesn’t hide that, but is always so serious about it. Doesn’t really laugh or goof off or play with them or anything…

Except! One day, one of the demons impulsively kisses MC on the forehead/cheek/tip of their nose/on top of their head. Something real quick and innocent like that. A small gesture of affection.

Turns out that has a hell of an effect on their solemn human! It makes them light up like the dawn! They’re all smiley and bouncy and giggly for the rest of the day! They’re all like :D :D :D about it

(Seeing them smile for real like this for once, the demons notice that MC has dimples. They didn’t know that before!)

Write it if you want, no pressure as always, have fun :) also, if all 7 is too many, you could make it Asmo, Beel, and/or Satan. I think they’d work well for this. Do what you like though, your writing is always good! :)

hello!!!! i can already imagine mc's face going from :| to :D. and the brothers reactions. so cute!

enjoy <3

Serious Mc who lights up after receiving affection

Lucifer

he's not one to impulsively give out kisses, since they're usually planned and deliberate

but he's very glad that he did

he wouldn't trade that smile, or anything about you for the world

you demeanor for the rest of the day determines his too, since he also finds himself more happy and smiley than usual

Mammon

he cannot stop thinking about your dimples

i love the idea that he has them too, and obsess over the fact that you're matching

the first chance he gets he snaps a candid photo of you with that gorgeous smile

anytime he feels down, he just looks at it and thinks of you <3

Levi

it took him a while to work up the courage to give you that kiss

and he's sure glad he did

he was initially embarrassed at first, but he warmed up to this bubbly version of you

he will start to blush and try to brush off the subject if anyone asks why you were like that though haha

Satan

he didn't think such a switch up in demeanor was possible, until he met you

he equally loves the usual you and this new side of you

it makes you human, and while he would not know what that's like, that's what he adores about you

although he won't lie, he loves your dimples since they remind him of one of his favorite book characters

Asmo

and he thought he was the most beautiful thing in all the realms!

seeing you absolutely light up at something he gave you made his day

it's like you're a different person

since it's asmo, he'll be making a routine out of this to see that lovely smile more often

Beel

he didn't think it was possible to like you more than he already did

spoiler alert: he was wrong

when he looks at that smile, it's like there's nothing bad in the world and he can forget about what plagues him

he'd do anything for you and that precious grin <33

Belphie

he finds it a little eerie at first

he didn't even know you were capable of smiling

but he quickly grows used to it once he learns how infectious it is

he's got a cheeky little habit of tickling you while the both of you are relaxing as a way to make you laugh and smile at the same time

[incarnadin3]

Random conversation between MC and the Obey Me! Brothers that I thought of in the shower

A/N: I got this idea from a video of two fathers talking about one of their daughters having OnlyFans and they thought she genuinely was selling fans, and were talking about her adding other appliances to sell. Idk I was bored and I just remembered that.

MC *walks in Lucifer's office to find him setting up a table with stacks of random items next to it*: Hey Luce, watcha doin?

Lucifer *looks up at MC and smiles*: Hello MC, I'm just setting up for some stuff. Mammon went into debt again and I'm afraid I have to start selling.

MC: Selling what?

Lucifer: OnlyFans

MC *speechless*: W-what?

Lucifer: You heard me. Now could you please leave me alone so I can get ready?

MC: Uh...o-ok.

1 HOUR LATER IN ASMODEOUS'S ROOM

Satan: And then what?

MC: And then he said he was gonna sell OnlyFans!

Leviathan: Woah, this is just like that manga abou-

Asmodeous *cuts him off*: My my! I didn't know my older brother was into that kind of stuff! I should joi-!

MC: Asmo, NO.

Asmodeous *whines*: Whyyyyyyy?!

*Mammon walks in*

Mammon: Hey guys what are y'all talkin bout?

Satan: Lucifer

Mammon: Uh, what bout him?

Everyone except Mammon: He's selling OnlyFans

Mammon *eyes wide*: WHAT?! WHY?!

MC: Cuz he needs to pay off your debt.

Mammon: But why only fans? Why not add variety? I've got at least 50 air conditioners lying around somewhere. He should sell those too!

MC: Ok...1. Why do you have so many air conditioners and 2. That is not the type of OnlyFans we meant.

Mammon: What other-

*Lucifer walks in*

Lucifer: Hello guys. What are you guys doing?

Asmodeous: Ah! Here's the man!

Satan: Lucifer why are you selling OnlyFans?

Lucifer: Ah, that's what I came to talk about. Do you guys have spare things I can perhaps sell?

Mammon: Sure! I got a bunch of air conditioners lyin round. But why are you selling your stuff to pay my debt?

Lucifer: Bold of you to assume I'm selling my stuff.

*Mammon's eyes go wide as he runs to his room and shrieks*

Mammon: My stuff! ITS ALL GONE!!!!

Lucifer *looks out Asmodeous's window*: Would you look at that, all the buyers are here. Well I must go now.

MC: So that's why I saw those belts and collars

Lucifer: Oh no those are for the exact reason you thought they were. I'm not selling them. Goodbye!

Satan *once Lucifer leaves*: I did not know my brother had the ability to get laid.

[midnightsunnyday]

Whips, Cuffs, And Edible Thongs? (Part One) '*•.¸♡ ♡¸.•*'

A/N: so does anyone (over the age of 21, obviously) browse adult toys with their friends? Is that just me? Well, yesterday my friends and I went to a toy shop for the hell of it and laughed at the improbably large and adorably small um, "items" they had on display, and in between our playful banter, for some reason I got the crazy thought to make a headcanon about it.

Warnings: obviously NSFW and MDNI. Mentions of various kinks, sex toys, and cursing. MC is in a polyamorous relationship with all the brothers btw. Definitely a crack headcanon.

*MCs overly dramatic monologue begins*

It was a risk, coming here alone, yet the reward would be worth the treacherous journey. I left the House of Lamentation under the cover of dusk, dawned in my best disguise. I stayed low, keeping shadows close. I snuck through alleys, crept down streets, jumping, paranoid. I could trust no one. Rely on no one. For this was a mission I must tread alone.

Finally, my destination was in view. The shop was not unlike the others surrounding it, except for the black and pink sign offering something a bit more...stimulating. I grabbed the handle, pushing slowly, only to be washed in a flood of pink neon and the scent of roses.

"Welcome to Cleo's Circle, hun. Tell me, what's your pleasure?"

MC: um, well you see, it's kind of my first time here. Not my first time in this kind of store, but for demons. Not that there's anything wrong with being a demon but I um...I'm just a bit embarrassed.

"Oh sweetie, you just hush those silly fears. Now, I'm not too keen on human culture, but this is the Devildom. Things like shame and sin are like a tick on a six-horned goat's ballsack."

MC: so...worthless then?

"You got it, sugar."

MC: ok, well in that case *looks around* I think I'd like to look at--

Asmodeus: --everything you've got in stock!

MC: fucking...Asmo? What the hell are you doing here? 

Asmodeus: *gasps dramatically* honestly, it's like you don't even know me! Are you really asking why I, Asmodeus, Avatar of Lust, would patronage a sex shop?

MC: hmm. Fair point.

*clicks her tongue* "Asmo."

Asmodeus: oh, well if it isn't my favorite little kitty Mynxie.

Mynxie: you know, I didn't realize that "I'll call you later" meant six months from now.

Asmodeus: oh Mynxie, you just have to understand. When one is as renownedly known and loved as me you can't possibly recall every single, little lover you've had, right? 

Mynxie: that right, huh? Well in that case, I also might fail to account for that little 80% discount at checkout and charge your ass full price.

Asmodeus: *gasps* you wouldn't?

Mynxie: oh, I would.

MC: maybe I should come back some other time. 

Mynxie: oh no, don't go! See what you've made me go and do? You're making my customers uncomfortable *clears throat* Forgive me for mixing business with pleasure. All are welcome and made to feel comfortable here in Cleo's Circle. As a sexual education succubus and proud business owner, it is my sworn duty to ensure it.

MC: wow. Those are...some words you just said. Well, then I suppose I'll look around.

Mynxie: if you need anything just ask.

MC: ok. And actually, it's probably best that you're here too, Asmo. I actually wasn't sure what to do.

Asmodeus: oh sweetie, of course! Why didn't you tell me you wanted to explore your kinkier side sooner? I would've gladly shown you every single thing you needed to know. Oh, but um...just so you know, this isn't one of my usual outings.

MC: what does that mean?

Asmodeus: so...promise you won't get mad, ok?

MC: why would I get--

Mammon: --sup.

MC: FUCK.

Mammon: oh no. Ain't none of that happening while I'm here.

Beelzebub: hey, MC. Oh. Is that candy?

Belphegor: Beel, no.

Satan: so this is why you were ducking behind every dumpster in the Devildom. For a moment I thought you were mimicking a frightened raccoon.

Leviathan: *in a very convincing announcer voice* By day they're an average RAD student just trying to survive, but by night they're a crime-fighting, bondage-wearing vigilante saving the day with whips...and love.

Mammon: this ain't one of the plots to one of your low-budget hentai movies, Levi!

Leviathan: oh? And how do you know what hentai is, hmm?

Belphegor: looks like he got you there, Mammon.

Mammon: s-shut up!

MC: please don't have Lucifer. Please don't have Lucifer. Please don't have Lucifer.

Satan: be careful. I heard that if you chant his name five times he'll appear and lecture you to death.

Mammon: but nah, that buzz kill ain't here. Went to some fancy upper-echelon party with Lord Diavolo.

MC: thank Diavolo.

Satan: indeed.

MC: so then why are you all here?

Mammon: invite only. We may be avatars, but Lucifer is the avatar. Pff, whatever. I'm way cooler than him anyway.

Belphegor: plus, we saw you sneaking around and thought hey, that looks like a fun way to spend one's Saturday. Let's follow them.

Satan: but we didn't expect you to end up...here. Even so, why hide such a thing from us?

MC: because it's embarrassing! Why would I want you all with me buying sex toys?

Mammon: cause we're fun?

Belphegor: because it's hilarious?

Asmodeus: because we can help you find a good one?

Leviathan: that and it's not really that embarrassing.

MC: huh?

Asmodeus: we're demons sweetie, not prudes. We wouldn't judge you for this.

Beelzebub: what if we all brought something? That way, no one feels embarrassed.

Mammon: um, Beel. You realize what you're asking, right?

Mynxie: well, this is all good and heart-warmin' but are y'all gonna buy something? You're crowding up my store and frankly scaring the poor dear.

MC: thank you, um, Mynxie?

Mynx: it's just Mynx. Mynxie if you're naughty.

MC: ok, so then Mynx, I appreciate your consideration, but...I'm ok with them here. 

Mynx: are you sure, hun? Cause I can kick them out if you need your privacy. Avatars or not, I know my way around a metal pipe.

MC: I'm sure. They can stay.

Asmodeus: yay!

Mynx: ok then. Let me know if you need any help. As for you all *pulls out a pipe and slams it on the counter* no funny business.

Everyone: yes ma'am.

Mynx: that's madam. Now, y'all be good, ok?

[tyrantisterror]

The Fuck's Up With Mammon?

Ok, so, in the grand history of Christian folklore, there are dozens of different ways that the society of Hell and its various demons can be structured. One of the most popular is The Seven Princes of Hell, which divides Hell between seven ruling demons, each of which represents the seven deadly sins (and is opposed by saints who represent the seven heavenly virtues). It's fun because it's got a solid theological theme and not too many working parts - seven is a more digestible number than nine or, like, however the fuck your sort out all the demons in the Lesser Key of Solomon, each of which has some arbitrary number of legions of demon soldiers under their command, and the deadly sins theme gives you a clear way to make each prince's domain stand out.

(Obviously I'm a bit biased here, since I used a modified version of the Seven Princes of Hell for my own story about demons, but still, I think the point stands.)

Now, who the seven princes of Hell are can differ. Binsfield, the guy who coined the name, lists them as follows:

Lucifer, Prince of Pride

Mammon, Prince of Greed

Asmodeus, Prince of Lust

Leviathan, Prince of Envy

Beelzebub, Prince of Gluttony

Satan, Prince of Wrath

Belphegor, Prince of Sloth

However, there are earlier versions of the seven princes that rearrange things. Beelzebub has been given the sin of Envy at times, Belphegor has been given gluttony, and both Belial and Abaddon/Apollyon have taken the role of prince of Sloth. With me so far?

Right, ok, so here's the thing: ALL of these demons have shit going on in folklore outside of their role as potential princes of Hell. Well, all except one. To wit:

Lucifer, despite being a translation error, quickly became the front-runner in the grand race of "Who is THE Devil in the Bible, i.e. the leader of Hell itself?" It helps that said translation error was made by King James in his version of the Bible, which, while a terrible translation, is an amazing piece of poetry in its own right and beloved by many Christians because of it. Notably, Lucifer is The Devil of Paradise Lost, which is up there with Dante's The Divine Comedy in being one of the most important and influential depictions of Hell of all time.

Beelzebub is one of the oldest demons in all of demonology, predating Christianity itself, and is pretty close to Lucifer in the race for "Who is THE Devil," with arguably a better claim to the position despite Lucifer being the more popular candidate for the role.

Satan gets kudos for being one of the few devils that's ACTUALLY named in the Bible... even if it's less a name in context and more a title akin to "prosecuting attorney." Because of that, he's arguably got the greatest claim to being The Devil, and in most works where a different devil gets the title, Satan is treated as one of his alternate titles anyway.

Asmodeus was set up in folklore to be The Devil, and has a pretty strong claim to the title because of that. He's also clearly what Dante based his description of the devil's physical appearance on, with his three different colored heads and all, and that gives him some major props.

Leviathan is also a rare demon who gets mentioned in the Bible, although in the Bible it's pretty clear he's not a demon but rather a big sea monster, and a lot of Christian folklore treats him as such instead of as a demon. So that's a pretty big "other thing going on" for him - sometimes he's not even a demon, but more of a godzilla.

Belphegor was mentioned in a good number of texts predating the concept of arranging demons by the seven deadly sins, and while he was mostly a minor demon (akin to most of the other residents of the Lesser Key of Solomon, like Shax or Marchosias or what have you), that's still something. Becoming a Prince of Hell gave him a greater claim to fame, but still, he had a career before it.

Abaddon/Apollyon is one of those demons whose name is ALSO a synonym for Hell itself, which is a pretty big deal. He can be a demon, or he can be hell, or he can be BOTH, like in the takes where Hell has a literal mouth to swallow sinners and is portrayed as kind of a living monster in its own right. He also got to be The Devil in Pilgrim's Progress, and that's pretty cool.

Belial is one of the absolute earliest demons, having been cast as The Devil in the Book of Enoch, which is kind of the O.G. Abrahamic demon story (as much as any written story could be the source of it, anyway). Thus, while Belial may not have the most popular claim to being The Devil, he arguably has the best claim to it, or at least the earliest. Also, Belial is just as often depicted as a lady demon as he is a male demon, which means Belial is the best candidate for a Princess of Hell.

But that leaves... Mammon. And as far as I can tell in all my research, Mammon's claim to fame is and has always been being the Demon of Greed. Like Lucifer, his existence is owed to a translation of the Bible personifying something that was not originally a person - "mammon" was just supposed to mean money and other material wealth, but then it became, well, Mammon, the demonic personification of Greed.

He's the demon who was made for his sin, rather than being given it after his creation. The only demon whose existence purely hinges on needing a personification of a sin, the only one who has no other shit going on. Lucifer, Beelzebub, Asmodeus, they all have rich histories as demons in folklore, but Mammon? He's just greed.

And that's weird to me. Were there no other, more popular demons who could embody the concept? How does Mammon feel having nothing else to him beyond his sin? It's kinda weird, right?

I've got no greater point to this, I just thought it'd be fun to share.

[skyeslittlecorner]

not sure if this was posted before. can we get the classic scenario of some brave (read:unfortunate) soul trying to flirt with the mc and how will the kings (+sitri and belial if it's okay) react to it? thank you :3

Ahh, that's one of my fav kind of headcanons! And! Sitri!!! Belial!!! I love kings, but I'm a noble's girlie~ Let's make them jealous. See them doing their best, it's not enough to be hot to win our hearts... ok maybe it is BUT, it doesn't change anything!

Assume that some cutie like our Dong-gyun is flirting with us. Nobody dangerous or slick. This way they will only be jealous, not mad, and we will see how they want to prove themselves.

꧁:･ ✡ ･:꧂

Satan will be ready to fight at first, but when he sees that you are having fun and no one is trying to hurt you, he will let go. Of course, he will be jealous. You are his. He will make sure to remind you, and do everything to impress you and win your attention back. Over time, he will get to know you better and learn what you like best. If his strength turns you on and you want to see him fight for you, he will. If you'd rather see a room strewn with roses when you return to the palace, then be it. If a devil flirts with you too intensely (in his opinion, always), he will come and grab your waist. We know he has guts, and anyone who allows himself too much deserves a kick. Unfortunately, he can't kick them because it's like a reward, and he doesn't want any more devils hanging around you.

Mammon won't care too much if you're flirting with someone. Everything his master does is perfect. If this is your wish, he will choose the best lovers in the country who will fulfill your desires. He will make every dream come true. You own him, not he you, and he waits patiently until one day you want to be his. You are free and can do whatever you want. As long as no one tries to get their hands on you against your will, Mammon is going to watch with amusement those poor attempts. After all, that funny little devil who thinks he has a chance with you is his too.

Beelzebub has a whole story dedicated to the cute guy who flirts with us. On the outside, he looks as chilled as ever, but there's an underlying menace lingering in the air. “Don't cross the line, or you'll be devoured.” You have to have some restraint, if you don't want this poor devil to end badly. Actually, no one knows what Beel is capable of, because the surrounding rumors say that he deprived one devil of the hand he used to hug you, and sewed another's mouth shut for daring to kiss you. But you know how exaggerated the rumors surrounding him are. He himself always behaved impeccably (as much as you say it about him) around you, and the fact that he clearly showed that you belonged to him... it only makes you wet, admit it.

Leviathan, oh well. If anyone *dared* to flirt with you near him, they would not only hang, but fly out the window and land on a wall. The only people he would not hang, because he cannot, are those who are equal in status to him, i.e. other kings. If he saw you flirting with one of them... remember how in ch4 Satan's wrath was so tremendous that it began to choke his subjects? This is exactly what would happen with Levi's jealousy. Except not only the devils who stand close will suffer, but half of Hades. Since he can't hang other kings, he could hang you... but with each king the scenario would be different, so it's hard to say in general. Either way, prepare for chaos.

Belial is very composed. He'll let you do whatever you want, after all, you're not married to him or anything. He just respects you and your freedom. You'd even think he didn't care when Jiyu stepped in. Without Belial's consent, of course. You only managed to hear “Know your place, your fucking maggot-!” before the noble catch him and silence him, blushing furiously. You see how he squeezed poor little thing so much that their eyes popped out of their sockets. You can't help but giggle, because it looks like someone is jealous after all.

Sitri will be both jealous and sarcastic. Very openly. He doesn't even try to hide it, the poor devil will be scolded and sent to help clean up the rubble or in the medical tent. War is neither the place nor the time for flirting! Especially if he's trying to flirt with you. Why did you even want to waste your time on him? You have so many nobles to choose from, aren't they good enough? Isn't he good enough? He needs to try even harder... And his spiral of overthinking continues until you dispel his doubts with a kiss.

[evereverest2]

I noticed art requests 👀. Might I request some Alpha and secondo being angry and so gay for each other <3

hello crow i love having you here

i have for you ART and my alpha x secondo headcanons under the cut

OK I GOT A LITTLE CRAZY WITH THE LORE BUT I REALLY LIKE THEM

so i had a lot of thoughts about them while i was drawing

alpha acts machismo, angry, burning hot like his flames. he gives off this stereotypical bad boy exterior, even when everyone knows how affected by his own emotions he is. he’s not just a hot head— he’s really sensitive and it embarrasses him. he cares a lot about many things but he hates when people know it.

secondo is just a hard ass consumed by the marrow of tradition. rooted in old beliefs and ancient rules. he’s full of himself and nearly delirious with power, enforcing his law like a corrupted judge. but that also makes him the biggest hypocrite, because he’s also above his own rules. fucking around with ghouls is no exception to his hypocrisy.

secondo hates ghouls. they’re lesser than humans. satan’s slaves are now his slaves. he cares to keep his ghouls at the top of their game, but not as humans. they’re more like pets, liek prized pigs he feeds well to make sure they impress.

alpha is his favorite pig. and alpha loves it.

alpha always fought back the most with him. refusing to back down, always slinging insults to his face. secondo worried his rebellion would inspire it in the other ghouls, and he thought for a long time how to make alpha back down. he studied his enemy, and realized there was only one way alpha turned placid.

sex.

alpha loved to fight back until he was getting dominated and destroyed, usually by omega. secondo noticed this and eventually tried it for himself. alpha folded instantly. no one had the power or ruthlessness to make him so submissive so quickly. with the other ghouls, it was pretend. with secondo, it was terrifying, and that exhilarated alpha.

alpha became more rowdy, but not with the ferocity he used to. he often saved it for when the two were alone. he was placated, and secondo again had his pets in line.

but it’s a horrible, awful relationship. secondo could not care less about the ghoul, he really only does it to keep him under his thumb. alpha will do him favors too, even get rid of certain rivals that go against him. secondo hardly touches alpha except to hurt him. he rarely lets alpha touch him sexually, no matter how much he begs. at first it’s foreplay, but then it begins to affect alpha. his tendency to suffer from big feelings bites him in the ass. he talks to omega about it, cries to him like a 19 year old in her first situationship, but he never stops crawling back to secondo. because sometimes there’s a glimpse, a look, a touch that alpha deludes himself into believing there’s more to it. ghouls and humans can’t be together, that’s why he acts this way. if things were different, they would be in a relationship.

well, that’s what alpha tells himself everytime hes trying to sleep, trying not to set his room on fire again

[zziridian]

When it comes to you they can't help but be utterly smitten from your smile to the way your hair frames your face they love you.

NOW expressing their love is a completely different story

Love languages (brothers additions)

Lucifer knows how he comes off to most he cold and unfeeling the demon lords merciless right hand man but with you he's simply Lucifer an overprotective brother who shows love through acts of service for the most part But when it comes to you words of affirmation are his go to but he wouldn't be the avatar of pride if he didn't claim you.

"My beautiful MC, you are simply exquisite"

Mammon, for as often as people call him selfish, it's simply not true or well not as true as they make it out to be. But when it comes to you, he loves to shower you in gifts. He thinks he slick, but he's not and he definitely doesn't have a mental list of all of his family and friends likes and dislike and you definitely not on the top of that list what do you take him for a simp? He is we all know it

"Hey Mc, I saw you look'n at this the other day and well I had a little extra on me so I got it for you" he pick up a few extra modeling gigs to get it

When it comes to leviathan, most people tend to assume that he simply doesn't participate in such silly normie activities. They'd all be wrong for he likes to give you gifts, and like to talk to you, But above all else he simply like to be with you it's doesn't really matter what you guys are doing he just likes to be with you.

"Hey MC, a new season of that show you love just dropped! WE HAVE TO BINGE IT"

Love is a difficult emotion for Satan, being born from wrath he never found it necessary to love not in the way others did, he did love his family and that was it for a very very long time, he was OK with that, or he thought he was then you came along. His world was flipped upside-down and truth be told he didn't want it to go back. He wants to hold on to you and be by your side. For Satan he found that cats show their love by head butting he tried that a few times but found he prefers to kiss you much more.

Together, you sat in his arms as he reads to you as the language of demons is not the easiest to read when one is not accustomed to it luckily for you Satan will read it to you with him you never have to feel out of the loop.

Asmodeus has never been afraid to love unlike his brothers he welcomes love with open arms. And why shouldn't he? People are always throwing themselves at him it be rude not to acknowledge them at least. But everything they said was enthusiastically empty platitudes. They like how he looked. Asmo knows he's hot and is proud of it. Then a human came along who was unaffected by his Beauty. He won't lie at first he was very insulted by this but the to of you talked and talked he found himself absolutely entranced by you. He thought he had to be more beautiful for you to truly fall but when you told him that you couldn't care less about how he looked that he was sweet and kind. He thought you were full of shit but you said it over and over again how he was more than his looks. He soon found himself believing your words. He was happy you took the time to know him when nobody else cared enough too.

Beel is a sweetheart. Ask anyone who knows him, and they'll agree, though they tend to undermine this fact about him. Unlike his brothers he's never been afraid to show that he loves someone with belphie he'll carry him whenever he needs to with asmo he'll carry his brother copious amount of bags from shopping with lilith he'd listen to her, it didn't matter what she wanted to talk about he'd listen when it came to you it's much the same as anyone else he cares for he'll carry this or grab this off of a high shelf. He liked to see your smile when he did anything . He tends to look out for the well-being of those he loves you are not an exception did you eat? Have you had enough water? He's a caretaker at hearts

Love used too come easily to belphie, he loved to nap, he loved his family he even loved humanity. Life soon taught him that love can hurt, love wasn't fun anymore it just hurt, he told himself that he wasn't going to love again or well anyone new or anything it'll just hurt won't it. He loves his brothers they wouldn't hurt him. For belphie love and trust go hand in hand if he trust someone he loves them and well if you trust him that must mean you love him right? He took advantage of that trust and deeply regretted it yet you still tried to talk with him, you helped him talk things out with his brothers. He would be lying if he said he didn't love you. But why would you love him. He broke your trust he doesn't deserve your love right. Wrong you told him that sure you were very pissed and yes he broke the trust you put into him. Yet you still told him that you cared you held him as he cried he loved you it was something he couldn't deny.

Lucifer- words of affirmation, acts of service

Mammon- gift giving,quality time

Levi- quality time all the way

Satan- physical touch,quality time and acts of service

Asmo - physical touch, words of affirmation

Beel- acts of service, quality time

Belphie- quality time physical touch

[froggibus]

Taking Care Of You While Sick - Obey Me!

Includes: Lucifer, Mammon, Levi, Satan, Asmo, Beel & Belphie

Genre: hurt/comfort + fluff!

Summary: you get sick, and your favorite demon knows (or tries his best) just how to take care of you

CW: sick! Reader, fever, lots of medicine, satan being Satan, wholesome Beel

wow i wonder what could have possibly inspired me to write this one….weird. anyway I am still sick but thats okay cause i got to sleep 20 hours one day and watch all the marvel movies so pog. anyway enjoy <3

————

Lucifer 

doesn’t know much about human illnesses but knows when you’re getting sick 

 makes you get lots of bed rest

 will have medicine and fresh water for you around the clock

 offers to do his paperwork in your room to keep you company 

 you don’t really notice either way cause you’re asleep mostly 

 he does anyway tho cause he’s worried and wants to keep an eye on you

 corrects your temperature in your sleep too

 shivering? adds another blanket

 sweating? pulls the covers back and puts a cold cloth on your forehead

 “luc did you…swaddle me?”

 “you were cold”

 even after you get better he’s extra adamant about you taking vitamins 

Mammon 

 thinks you’re dying at first

 notices you’re much warmer than usual and actually thinks you’re going to light on fire

 panics and thinks lucifer is gonna kill him 

 you have to explain that you’re not actually dying but that you’re sick 

 probably has no idea what to do to help you

 just does what he likes when he’s sick

 brings you lots of fluids (especially juice)

 and soup

 expect lots of soup/ramen

 is with you 24/7

 “you’re MY responsibility so I gotta keep an eye on you”

 probably forgets to take care of himself in the process 

 so you make him drink your water/eat your soup/sleep 

 definitely sleeps with you with the excuse of ‘watching out for you’

Levi

 its just like in that anime he watched 

 except he really hopes you’re not dying like the MC in the anime was

 just does exactly what they did in the anime (but with a lot more blushing and stuttering)

 probably thinks you’d rather lucifer or mammon take care of you 

 you try to comfort him but you’re so tired that it just comes out as a bunch of mumbles 

 definitely has to give himself a peptalk (or five)

 “y/n is really sick rn, this isn’t about you, ok?”

 will feed you medicine if you’re not strong enough to do it yourself 

 you’re surprised at how well he’s handling things

 “ok y/n im gonna head back to my room but if you need anything tonight just text me ok?”

 “levi can you stay with me”

 thinks he’s misheard you at first

 malfunctions for a really long time 

 you’re already falling asleep by the time he decides to climb in bed with you

Satan

 has been waiting for this moment since you arrived 

 literally read so many books about human illness and immune systems 

 figured it was only a matter of time until you got sick

 is ready with juice and water and medicine 

 literally has everything you could possibly need 

 checks your temperature VERY delicately

 “fuck y/n you’re burning up”

 gets you a cold cloth for your forehead 

 even tho he knows everything he still is really nervous

 checks on you like every five minutes (if he even leaves your room)

 would make himself a bed on your floor so that if you need him in the night he’s there

 somehow you convince him to come lay with you 

 even tho you’re a million degrees 

 he’ll stay with you all night just to make sure you’re okay

 would definitely try and hunt down whoever infected you 

Asmo

 can tell you’re sick just by how clammy and washed out you look

 but he won’t say anything 

 probably makes you one of his ultra healthy super food smoothies

 even if it tastes gross he makes sure you drink it

 would probably spoon feed you food too

 insists you get lots of rest

 and when you can’t sleep he’s there to keep you company

 keeps up with your hygiene too

 will brush your hair/tie it up so that it doesn’t get tangled while you sleep

 gets a cloth to wipe down your face and applies lotion and chapstick 

 probably wouldn’t sleep with you cause he doesn’t want to get sick (even tho demons don’t share the same sicknesses with humans)

 but will stay in a phone call with you from his room all night and if you need anything he’s there in a heartbeat

 more medicine?

 he’s there

 but he’s so tired don’t expect him to return to his room after

Beel

 doesn’t know whats going on at first but makes an educated guess

 asks what you need instead of assuming 

 makes you lots of snacks + drinks

 i feel like he would hide your medicine in food like they do for dogs??

 idk it seems up his alley 

 also helps you with any tasks you may possibly need with

 homework? he’s on it (just don’t tell Lucifer)

 need to wash your hair but you’re too weak? all you gotta do is lean your head over the bathtub 

 he’ll take really good care of you

 would probably baby you a little tho

 like cut up your food into really small portions 

 and give you juice out of a sippy cup

 “beel where did you even find that?”

 “i-uhh—“

definitely watches movies with you until you fall asleep and stays to make sure you don’t need anything

Belphie 

probably knew you were sick before anyone else

tries to ignore it cause he totally doesn’t care

but your skin is hot!!

and you’re sweating a lot 

and your voice sounds…different?

eventually he has to give in and admit he’s worried about you

and since no one else is around he takes care of you

brings you water and medicine and offers to let you sleep in his bed

“just so I can wash your sheets! you’ll feel so much better in clean ones…”

even lets you sleep on his pillow

probably watches you sleep to make sure you’re still alive 

but can’t help and admire how peaceful you look 

pushes you to drink fluids and sleep LOTS 

and if you refuse to sleep?

well he’ll just have to make you sleep

masterlist

[lost-in-lamentation]

Would you consider doing "I trust you." with Satan?

a/n: a bit short but god i love this demon

prompt #4: satan + "i trust you."

content: satan feeling cozy and safe around you.

no warnings but nothing is beta read so ignore all the mistakes

fluff. satan × gen!reader (you/your).

somehow, over the course of the last week, you had made the library at the house of lamentation practically your property. you spent all your time in there finding books to help you in your studies. and of course, you had landed yourself an accidental roommate. satan, the bookworm he was, also stayed in the library as much as he could. today was no exception; it's just that today, you sat much closer to him than usual.

your shoulders brushed when either of you turned a page, and it was often that satan would try and steal a glance at your focused expression. occasionally, his leg shifted closer to you, knees knocking together before he shoots you a smile and a gentle "sorry". you giggled every time at the action, and satan relished in the sound of your laughter.

the hours passed by like that. it was never dull or boring when it was with satan, and you were glad he felt the same. few words were exchanged in between, and it was only when satan finally released a yawn that you decided to strike a full conversation. "gonna head to bed soon?"

the blonde stifled another yawn, bringing his novel to a close as he set it down on the table in front. "that depends. what will you do?"

"me?" you're caught off guard, the pen in your hands slipping from your grasp. a quiet sound of surprise escaped you, pulling a laugh from the demon. you pouted at his reaction, but a smile tugged at the corners of your lips when you saw the way he gazed at you. sighing, you gave satan a shrug in return. "well, i'll probably stay here for a bit longer. i want to finish this section of the book."

satan never brought his eyes away from you, his sleepy gaze trained on how you fiddled with your stationary. "i'll just take a nap here then."

gaping, you watched as he adjusted his jacket around his shoulders. "what? just go to your room, the couch here isn't that comfortable."

"i'd rather stay here."

"but what if your brothers try and mess with you while you sleep here?"

"i trust you."

three simple words had you reeling. it was unlike satan to admit something so bold, so you keyed it up to be the fact that he was on the verge of losing the war to sleep. regardless; you couldn't hold back the joy you felt from hearing him say it. "if you trust me so much, you'll lie down with me while i read."

gone was the air of confidence satan always wore. red spread like wildfire up his neck and onto his cheeks, and his words were a mess as he tried to get them out. "you- how dare you- what gives you the idea that i want that?!"

"satan, don't be so skittish." you placed your book off to the side, adjusting yourself on the couch so that your back leaned against the armrest and your legs were spread out on the cushions. with a cheeky grin, you extended a hand, waiting for wrath to take it. "you said you'd sleep here, didn't you?"

satan gritted his teeth, but accepted the invite anyway. gingerly, he placed his hand in yours, hoping that you would take the initiative. to his relief, you did, pulling him down so he could slot himself between your legs and have his head resting on your stomach. "this feels..."

"nice, i hope," you chimed in, scratching just behind his ears. gently, you tousled his hair, untangling any knots you came across.

underneath your touch, satan relaxed, more of his weight pressing into you as you kept up your actions. "yeah. it's nice," he hummed into your stomach, feeling himself drift further into dreamland.

a part of you worried that satan would be able to feel the way your heart pounded inside your chest. but then again, there was nothing wrong with satan realising that you were endlessly, hopelessly, in love with him and the way he trusted you.

a/n: ok goodnight and thank you guys for requesting ㅠㅠ it means a lot to me ♡

reblogs are really appreciated (´ω｀) ♡