#well not so hyper right now - kind of unconscious right now

[friendlylocalwhumper]

It looks peaceful. Soft, short hair flowing in the water, pretty green eyes squeezed shut, freckles blended in with tanned skin by the haze of the water… Jaylen would almost look majestic under there, if he wasn’t jerking with the failed attempts to hold his breath.

At the tap on his shoulder, the silent commend, Corbett pulls his boyfriend back up with a worried grimace. Jaylen’s head lolls back as he’s lifted out of the metal tub where his back was bent over it, hair hanging straight back and slicking to his skull as he flops forward.

“Ghh, guh…” The hand cupped at the back of his head is all that keeps Jaylen from slumping against the tub and falling into a heap. He relaxes into the support, even as Corbett has to twist his fingers into that slicked hair to keep him upright.

“Sorry, sorry, Jay,” Mutters the unwilling torturer, sharp teeth gritting with his apology. His pink fluffy hair has gone dull and fine, his bright eyes a pale blue.

“Again.”

The voice above and behind him comes with an impatient shove. Corbett’s expression twists further, his grip tightening on his gasping boyfriend’s hair. “He can’t breathe. He can’t, he can’t-!”

Knees pressing harder into the floor for leverage, Jaylen sprays droplets across the room as he shakes his head. Leans backward with water still dripping from his nose. “C-, Cor. ‘s okay. ‘s okay.” Star-studded bandaids across Jaylen’s cheek and nose flop wetly. He tips his head to smile. It is pained, apologetic. Those breaths sound clogged. His fingers tap an anxious rhythm, where his arms are bound tight around his back.

At least there’s no shortage of sensory input for him right now. In fact, Corbett thinks as he wipes wet hair from Jaylen’s brow, there might be too much. Water is good and neutral for a path, for sensitive magic reading pasts and feelings, but it’s not so nice when it’s forcing itself down and up your nose and throat. A lot of pain, a lot of stress. If Corbett pays close attention, he feels a buzzing, a twitching of muscles where Jaylen needs to bolt.

Corbett took too long, staring forlornly at his soggy boyfriend. A hand shoves at his back, forcing him toward the tub and dropping Jaylen back into it. Skittish hands scramble to scoop Jay back up, but there’s no room to get him into the air again, so they settle for covering Jay’s eyes. There’s no point to it, but for some reason, Cobett doesn’t want him to see. No pretty jade eyes blinking feverishly under the swirling water. No fear that Corbett cannot soothe.

Jaylen’s stomach is bare with how he’s twisted backward, his colorful jacket riding up. The smooth expanse of chilly skin is too much, and Corbett finds himself biting down onto it, jaw locking. Bubbles rise in the water as Jay tries to cry out in surprise, maybe tickled by the bite. Blank, panicked, now-lavender eyes stare out at nothing as Corbett latches on with another bite, seeking comfort, frowning around the mouthful as he tastes blood. Oops, didn’t mean to chomp that hard. Poor Jay.

The drowning one writhes spasmodically until he can angle his legs differently, putting more pressure on the edge of the tub digging into his back, just to press his knees in at Corbett’s side. A makeshift hug, clinging. The biting is painful, but always a comfort. Always. An anchor of pressure, of familiar input. Corbett nuzzles miserably as he continues to hold him down. Until the bubbles slow to a stop, until the legs around his sides relax. Corbett doesn’t get to decide when it ends, that’s the job of the man standing over them. Bruised arms slide around Jaylen’s chest, feeling for any more twitches of failed breaths, ready to pull him up as soon as it is allowed.

[honeytonedhottie]

HONEYS IT GIRL MAGAZINE august edition⋆.ೃ࿔*:･🎀

welcome back to honeys it girl magazine, this is the august catalog. get ready for the inside scoop on data that i've collected, things i've learned/started doing, and just general info like that organized in kind of a teen-magazine inspired fashion. a magazine for it girls ✨ and now please enjoy, the it girl magazine.

WHAT UR DREAMS REVEAL ABOUT YOU ;

have u ever woken up from a vivd dream and thought "what does that even mean?" yeah same. so i decided to dive into this for this catalog and here's what i found. dreams represent unconscious desires and wishes. we have dreams that mirror our emotional state.

three of the most common dreams that people have are falling, being chased, and dying. which are all inherently negative things. when u dream of falling, it shows a loss of control over an important situation. when u dream of being chased, thats ur brains way of telling u that ur stressed out. and when u dream of dying, it could represent a part of you that is dying or something you'd like to escape. 

and dreams about death are the most scary to me cuz i have MASSIVE fear of death but there are more than just negative dreams. usually my dreams consist of things that radiate positivity, or my dreams can be flat out weird. either way, if i remember my dreams i like to write them down and yap about them with my friends.

HAIR HEAVEN ;

i thought that since its leo season and leo's have the BEST hair its only right that hair is the topic of this month's beauty section. so im going to focus on talking about styling, treatments and general care.

how you style ur hair is SO super important to ur whole vibe and aesthetic. hair styles look different on everyone for a multitude of reasons but one of the most obvious is that people have different face shapes and different styles are flattering on different faces.

remember, u dont have to get the same haircut as ur favorite celeb bcuz its so much more cute and original when u get ur own haircut…💬🎀

now unto hair treatments. hair treatments are so important to keep ur hair healthy and lustrous and just well taken care of. so im going to give some hair mask and treatment recipes to keep ur hair healthy and radiant…💬🎀

now finally lets talk about some general tips to keep ur hair gorgeous and lovely on a day to day basis.

♡ use scrunchies instead of elastics when u can to avoid putting strain on ur hair

♡ incorporate collagen into ur diet with supplements or vitamins because its rly rly good for hair skin and nails

♡ when using heat on ur hair, use a heat protectant and try not to apply heat to ur hair on a daily basis

AUGUST MUSIC ;

this month i've really been listening to CHECK by the girl group FLO and let me just say, that song is an absolute MASTERPIECE. the music video was amazing. i love love the cinematography and the concept cuz its super hyper girly just like me and the girls looked so amazing and beautiful.

one of my favorite albums that also dropped this month was latto's sugar honey iced tea album. latto is so so talented and gorgeous and she rly ate down with this album so i highly recommend it to anyone who's been thinking about giving it a listen. my favorite songs on the album are shrimp & grits, look what u did and S/O to me.

BACK TO SCHOOL SEASON ;

for a lot of us, its back to school season and its the time to kind of transition from summer -> into the school year SO here are 5 tips on how to seamlessly transition from ur hot girl summer into a successful school year…💬🎀

♡ get urself an established routine

get urself an established routine 2 weeks before u start cuz the earlier u start ur routine, the quicker it'll be for it to become a habit. adjust ur sleep schedule by sleeping a little earlier, and going to bed at a reasonable time.

♡ reflect and write down some goals

reflect on ur last school year, what u did good and what u did not so good and based on that formulate a couple goals that u can commit to and hold urself accountable to so that then ur making progress thats trackable.

♡ be organized

organize ur notion, ur space, ur school bag EVERYTHING. organization is so crucial especially for school and can protect u from feeling overwhelmed and cluttered.

♡ brief review

im not the kind of person that like summer work, in fact i hate it. but a week or two before school starts i'll do a quick refresh or research the classes that im going to be taking to kind of set myself up for success.

♡ fix ur attitude

stay POSITIVE and dont take on a bad approach to this school year before you've even started. believe in urself, ur discipline and ur abilities and stay in a good mindset.

i have lots of back to school content planned still that hasn't dropped including studying, resources etc so that we can slay this school year…💬🎀

BACK TO SCHOOL FASHION ;

details for back to school fashion/academic princess style :

♡ plaid

♡ grey, pink, black and white color scheme

♡ collared shirts and jackets

♡ pleated mini skirts

♡ sweaters

♡ headbands

♡ knee/thigh high socks

long bouncy curls with a headband that matches something on ur outfit. ballet flats and leg warmers. baby pink gloss and square shaped french tips, delicate necklaces and bracelets…💬🎀

when i think of pink academia fashion the first person that comes to my brain is cher from clueless. here are some of her most princess academia moments in the movie.

cher emphasizes literally everything i've talked about in the pink princess school fashion scheme. the pretty socks, fluffy pens, collared shirts and pink->white->grey color scheme. even the way that she does her hair is very very pretty and flattering.

WHATS MY HOROSCOPE (AUGUST 25-31) ;

♡ you’re the star of the show this month, virgo! it all begins on august 4th with a leo new moon that awakens your zone of spirituality. you could be focused on sacred release to clear space, welcoming in new beginnings. confidence is cultivated through deep soul-searching. on the same day, venus enters your sign, bringing a boost to your energy, creative projects, and style. mercury stations retrograde, also in virgo, encouraging self-reflection.

♡ for aries, it’s an exciting month ahead! the action begins on august 4th, when the leo new moon activates your zone of pleasure, inviting you to follow your passions! a playful approach in romance and creativity can inspire new beginnings that feel fun and stress-free. on the same day, venus enters virgo and visits your sector that rules self-care, encouraging you to embrace healthier habits. In the evening, mercury goes retrograde in virgo, signaling a time for you to get centered.

♡ for taurus, it’s an emotionally powerful month. it all begins on august 4th, when the leo new moon activates your zone of intuition, bringing major insights that lead you to new beginnings. with your environment in the spotlight as well, you might use this time to beautify your living space, pulling in bold animal prints and patterns. later in the day, love planet venus enters virgo, activating your zone of pleasure. take a practical approach to love, money, and creativity. then, mercury stations retrograde in virgo, urging you to release perfectionism and rest.

♡ for gemini, his month is full of connection! the magic starts on august 4th, when the leo new moon activates your communication sector, inspiring you to shine your light, share your ideas, and express yourself. leo’s passion blends with the fresh slate of the new moon to bring you an exciting new path to explore. later, venus enters virgo, awakening your intuition so you can manifest! mercury stations retrograde in virgo as the evening comes to a close, marking a period of rest and awareness.

♡ for cancer, success is yours this month! it all begins on august 4th, when the new moon in leo visits your money zone, inspiring you to share your talents and build up your resources. the bold expression of your skills impresses others and serves as a beautiful boost of confidence for you too! you’ll crave more meaningful conversations when venus enters virgo, awakening your communication sector. mercury stations retrograde in virgo at the end of the day, signaling a time of required pause.

♡ for leo, it’s an expansive month! the excitement starts on august 4th, when a new moon in your sign ignites a path to new beginnings. you’re stepping into the most confident version of yourself! set intentions for the future with courage and inspiration. on the same day, venus enters practical virgo and visits your financial sector, helping you organize money matters and work projects. mercury goes retrograde in virgo that night, encouraging you to embrace stress reduction and physical relaxation.

♡ for libra, it’s an enlightening month ahead, libra! the leo new moon on august 4th activates your friendship sector and invites you to step into the social spotlight. you could be making plans with friends or passionately helping others. set intentions for the future and remember that dreams do come true! venus enters virgo later to help you get grounded as you explore your emotional realm. mercury stations retrograde in virgo that night, highlighting the importance of practicality.

♡ for scorpio, prepare for a month of empowerment! the leo new moon on august 4th inspires you to showcase your talents. by doing so, important people take notice and doors of opportunity open. don’t be afraid to courageously share your expertise. venus enters virgo later in the day, enhancing your powers of negotiation as well as your charm. mercury stations retrograde in virgo before the day ends, signaling a need for patience.

♡ for sagittarius, it’s an adventurous month! the fun begins on august 4th, when the leo new moon lights up your travel zone, encouraging you to explore on physical, intellectual, and spiritual levels. embrace new beginnings that bring abundance into your life. venus enters virgo on the same day, inviting in well-deserved acknowledgment and opportunity. mercury stations retrograde in virgo, asking you to review your long-term commitments and responsibilities.

♡ for capricorn, it’s a month of personal growth, capricorn! the leo new moon on august 4th awakens your zone of transformation and brings change. you could be healing your relationship with money or crafting a plan to tackle debt. when you surrender into evolution, manifestations become reality. venus enters virgo later and lands in your adventure zone. seek out experiences that feel fun, expansive, and abundant. mercury goes retrograde in virgo before the night ends and asks you to slow down.

♡ for aquarius, your relationships are highlighted this month, aquarius! the leo new moon on august 4th activates your relationship zone and opens new paths in love. create heart-led manifestations and enjoy quality time connecting with others. venus enters virgo on the same day and visits your sector of intimacy, encouraging you to bond beyond the physical plane. communicate with care when mercury goes retrograde in virgo that night, marking a time of potential misunderstandings and snafus.

♡ for pisces, get ready to fall in love this month, pisces! it begins with the leo new moon on august 4th that encourages you to love the most important person of all: you! this is the time to take excellent care of your mind, body, and soul so you can feel rejuvenated. venus enters virgo the same day, activating your relationship zone. strengthen your bonds! mercury goes retrograde in virgo that night, marking a time of healing.

CELEBRITY GOSSIP - BLAKE LIVELY ;

this month the movie "it ends with us" was released starring blake lively and justin baldoni and it has been gaining LOTS of traction on the internet for a multitude of reasons. i haven't been to watch the movie yet but if u have, tell me how it was!

the reason why im going to be talking about this in the celebrity gossip section is because of the fiasco blake lively and how out of touch she is…💬🎀

blake is getting called out for how shes been acting during her press tour for it ends with us and her past actions and behaviors that rly showcase how tone deaf she is. the movie is based on the book it ends with us that was written by colleen hoover, and in the book it explores topics such as domestic violence, emotional abuse etc. because of the serious nature of the movie, her saying "grab ur friends, wear ur florals" was a tone mismatch.

a clip of her is going viral where she was asked by the interviewer on, what was the best way someone who understands the themes of the movie, could talk to her. and she responds with literal sarcasm. leaving everyone confused and kind of put off. furthermore during the filming for the movie about literal DOMESTIC VIOLENCE. she launches a haircare brand. which could just be unfortunate timing but i feel like with how good marketing is, this wasn't a coincidence but thats just my opinion.

the last thing i wanna talk about is an interview a while back when blake was pregnant. the interviewer congratulated her saying "congrats on ur little bump" which is so sweet. blake responds "congrats on YOUR little bump" which was SO uncalled for because one, the lady wasn't pregnant and two, the lady literally couldn't have kids. throughout the interview blake just continued to be absolutely obnoxious, ignoring the interviewers questions and just being such a horrible guest.

anyways i'd love to hear ur thoughts and opinions on this situation in the comments and if ur kinda curious about the celeb gossip i recommend watching this video bcuz d'angelo rly explains everything well.

STYLE DISSECTION MARILYN MONROE ;

marilyn monroe is an absolute ICON and legend in literally every form of the word. shes an amazing role model and something that i rly rly love about her is ur style and her beauty which is why im doing this month's style dissection on her…💬🎀

one of my favorite marilyn monroe outfits was her gorgeous deep burgandy silky dress in the film how to marry a millionaire. in this film we get the ICONIC diamonds are a girls best friend and honestly they're right. marilyn sports GORGEOUS diamond jewelry in this movie that rly tie her outfits together and give the air of luxury and opulence that is so so hard to recreate which is why no one can do it quite like marilyn.

marilyn rly made the iconic 1950s glam what it was. everything from her signature platinum blonde bob to her gorgeous, feminine allure. in her film gentlemen prefer blondes shes wearing an absolutely stunning orange dress that shows off her body. it has a super flowy mermaid cut at the bottom which compliments the snugness of the dress around her waist, hips and chest.

i could talk for HOURS about the fashion icon that marilyn monroe is but we dont have that kind of time in this years august issue of the it girls magazine…💬🎀

[meowjaa]

✧ handcuffed together ✧

context: levi ackerman x fem!reader, handcuffed together, experiment, hange's enthusiastic self, undeniable tension ;))

a/n: yes yes being handcuffed for 24 hours like those youtube videos but its a cute little scenario cause while writing this I really thought of one of those titles that are like "HANDCUFFED TOGETHER FOR 24 HOURS?!?!" by a random youtuber living in los angeles its very specific but anyways enjoy <33

"Hange, unlock these handcuffs right now or so help me…" Levi growled, holding up his right wrist shackled to Y/N's left.

"Not a chance, my little lab rats!" Hange cackled with delight. "You two are stuck together for the next 24 hours for my experiment."

"What kind of half-baked experiment is this?" Y/N asked incredulously.

"I'm so glad you asked!" Hange exclaimed. "I want to observe how two subjects are affected by being in forced close proximity for an extended period of time. Will they learn to cooperate? Or kill each other? So many possibilities!"

Levi lunged for the key around Hange's neck but they danced out of reach. "Nuh uh, these handcuffs stay on for the full 24 hours. No getting out of it."

Y/N sighed heavily. "Fine. But you better believe we'll get back at you for this, Hange."

Hange just waved and sauntered off, leaving a fuming Levi and irritated Y/N shackled together.

The first few hours were awkward, to say the least. Every little movement pulled at their wrists. Levi refused Y/N's attempts to help make tea, resulting in spilling hot water. Y/N got in Levi's way while cleaning, earning her icy glares.

Sitting down to dinner with the squad was a challenge with their hands bound. They bumped elbows and knocked over cups clumsily.

"Need a hand there, Captain?" Jean quipped.

"Say one more word and I'll have you cleaning the stables for a month, Kirstein," Levi spat back.

Things went a little smoother when it came time to bathe. Y/N kept her gaze averted as Levi disrobed enough to wash up, her own cheeks flaming.

Getting ready for bed brought a whole new predicament. After arguing over sleeping arrangements, they reluctantly agreed to share Levi's bed out of necessity. Y/N got in first, sticking close to the edge. Levi slid in carefully, hyper aware of her presence. They shifted awkwardly trying to get comfortable.

"Your elbow is in my ribs, Y/N," Levi muttered.

"Well, I can't move with you hogging all the space," she shot back.

With an aggravated huff, Levi shifted onto his back, giving Y/N a bit more room. Their cuffed hands rested uncomfortably between them. Sleep did not come easy.

But in the early morning hours, they unconsciously rolled toward each other, hands settling gently together between them. Y/N's head found a spot on Levi's shoulder, his chin tilting to rest lightly on her hair.

When Hange barged in to wake them, they were met with amused laughter at finding the captain and soldier still fast asleep and cuddled up together.

Levi and Y/N jerked awake, faces burning red. But secretly, neither really minded the forced closeness. Maybe Hange's insane experiment hadn't been an entirely bad thing after all.

[lovechrissturniolo]

reading & answering

"weird" fan questions leads to more

* friends with benefits *

built up & foreplay

ends before the actual sex

short review

Y/N and Chris had been close friends for a while, but a week ago they had - by accident - become intimate: Y/N had spent the night at the Sturniolo's place after a party because she couldn't get a cab.

They both had been longing for physical contact. In Chris's cosy bed, cuddled up under the covers - the desire for each others touches had overcome them.

They agreed afterwards that it should remain a one-off incident. Their friendship meant a lot to both of them and nobody should get hurt.

now

Chris had just posted a story on Insta when the two of them were on the couch, Y/N lay on her side, her head resting on his shoulder.

"Can't wait to see the weird shit." Chris smirked, stretching and making a growling noise.

Y/N enjoyed the view as his body tensed:

his upper body in a black tank top

his stomach briefly to see

the waistband of his boxers peaking out

the outlines on the grey sweatpants

"I can't believe you're up for this right now." Y/N yawned, trying to distract herself from staring at his lap. "It's been such a long day!"

Chris slid a little deeper into the sofa and sighed deeply. "I don't know. I have so much pent-up energy in me - and my head's all over the place right now."

"Maybe I should go soon, it's pretty late." Y/N murmured as she saw the time on his lock screen.

"Nooo, you can't go now!" he replied, jokingly upset. "You have to go through this with me!"

Chris always became very cuddly when he was exhausted and hyper. It brought him down to feel her so close.

Y/N unconsciously put her leg over Chris' lap as she tried to find a more comfortable position. It was not unusual for them to lie cuddled up together, but Y/N immediately realized that it was risky now.

The tension between the two became more intense every day since they slept with each other a week ago.

"Look." he murmured, pointing at the screen. "I knew it wouldn't stop at one!" and pointed to a fan's question:

Favorite position sexually?

"Well, answer then!" Y/N said jokingly and looked up at him. "That's a fair question!"

"Pah," Chris felt a little awkward and rubbed his eyes to avoid eye contact. "I wouldn't even answer that to my friends!"

Y/N smirked. He looked so damn cute when he was a little bit irritated. "Maybe I already know."

Chris eyes got back to hers. "Because we had a drunken quickie once, you think you know everything, huh?" Her eyes being fixed on his lips as he spoke made him slightly nervous.

"Can I take a guess?" Somehow she liked it to tease him a little right now.

"Go for it."

"Regardless of my personal experience with our 'quicky' - I'd say you're the doggy kind of person?"

"Not bad!" he replied in a hoarse voice and cleared his throat. Their faces were so close together that he could feel her breath on his neck. "What's yours?"

"I like the way we did it the other day. Spooning cuddle sex-" Y/N realized that her teasing had the price of becoming increasingly aroused herself.

She lay her head back on his shoulder and took a deep breath. "But it depends, you know?"

Chris swallowed a lump in his throat. "Depends on what?" and wondered why he was even asking. He hadn't been able to think about anything else since they fucked last week. This conversation certainly wouldn't make it more bearable.

"To the mood, the situation, probably?" she mused. "I mean, I love cuddle fucking, but for harder sex, doggy style is wonderful. So rough and animalistic somehow..."

"Fuck yes." Chris rasped, leaning his head back and exhaling deeply, trying not to get too worked up.

"You should pick a new question." Y/N suggested to break the tension a little and leaned on her forearm.

"You pick!" he replied quickly and held the screen in front of her face. Y/N should be in charge of where it would lead, what she started.

It was only fair!

Y/N surrendered to the fact that she was dying to sleep with Chris again since they did it last week and chose another one of the "weird" questions:

Oral - giving or receiving

"Jesus, Y/N!" Chris groaned with a flustered laugh and put his forearm over his face.

Her squirming around, with her leg on his lap, while asking these questions started to make him crazy. "How about you start this time?"

"The questions are for you, not me." Y/N smirked and bit her lower lip.

"Alright." Chris returned somewhat desperately. "Hold on." He took a deep breath and his hand subconsciously reached for her leg to hold it in position.

Y/N's mouth went dry with excitement as she felt his clearly hardening member against her thigh.

"That's actually easy. I love both," he whispered, looking her straight in the eye.

"Same for me." she replied husky and glanzed at the screen again.

Tits or ass?

"That's a shallow question!"

"Why?"

"Because I don't look at tits or ass first."

Chris licked his upper lip with the tip of his tongue. "A nice neck is hot for me." and ran his finger along her neck.

"Waists are sexy, too." he added, tracing hers with his fingertips.

Y/N's pulse began to race and she got goose bumps from his gentle touch.

"Your mouth is beautiful." he added in a quivering voice and pressed his lips to hers.

Y/N put her hand on his chest and pressed herself against him while their mouths opened and their tongues met.

Chris pulled her on top of him and moaned softly from the pleasant feeling of her abdomen on his lap.

"Tits or ass?" he groaned between their kisses, put his hands on her breasts and pressed them gently. "Whatever I can reach..."

Y/N moaned from pleasure burrying her hand in his hair.

length of your dick?

she added breathless, "was one of the questions!" while her free hand wandered between his legs.

"Fuck, Y/N!" Chris moaned as she gently grabbed his cock and tilted the head in his neck from pleassure.

"One more exception wouldn't hurt, right?" she moaned in his ear.

"Fuck, you don't even have to ask!"

I love describing the built up/foreplay part more than the actual act, so I leave the rest to your imagination.

Hope you like it! 💕

⬅️ more

[inchidentally]

Something that i really noticed with that last video mclaren posted, the way oscar talks when he’s around lando vs how he talks when he’s alone. Like that aussie vs british words video which was probably filmed not that long ago from now, oscar is completely showing his sass and not holding back at all with his thoughts, doesn’t even care what the interviewer finds weird (obviously still in a respectful way, bc he was raised right) But when he’s with lando it’s like he reigns himself back because he wants to relish in lando’s sass instead, he wants to hear his thoughts and he’s genuinely interested in him and what he’s saying. Everyone keeps saying we miss prema Oscar, but prema oscar never left, based on that video he’s obviously still like that. it’s not even that he wasn’t comfortable enough as a rookie or not well settled in yet to show his character in his first year or that he was only following lando’s lead(which he was to some extent) but it’s been an entire season and he STILL waits for lando to speak first and waits for him to finish his sentences with exceptionally long pauses. He just loves hearing him. And even with lando’s tendency to ramble sometimes and oscar wioild still listen to a meaningless ramble from him bc he adores him. Sigh

They’re made for each other(I’m delusional)

OKAY BUT I hear you so much anon and I just want to lead into smth that has been cooking around for me about this since I fully agree w you, the Oscar we see with Lando is curiously different and quieter than Oscar with anyone else.

and I think this comment on the latest video hit the nail on the head?? in a way the person prob didn't think was that deep ??

bc of speaking the same language to the point of semi-mind reading but now ugh you've got to bring Other People along on your conversations and translate everything..........

so like y'know how Lando and Max F always look a little like they're going to burst out laughing when they have to put on their on-camera personalities in a Quadrant video? when you're around a close friend where you both normally speak in like half sentences bc you don't need to fill in the rest, it gets weird when you have to translate all of that out loud for the benefit of other people watching?

seeing Lando and Oscar's relationship develop over the season and now into the new one with this interview, I'm actually starting to think that's way more the case w them as well. we all joke about the twinning and unconscious mirroring but it makes all kinds of sense that considering how similar Oscar and Max F are in many ways that Lando would have a similar dynamic with Oscar - where it's not always easy to include the general public and have to bring all of us along.

the like, overlapping sentences and watching each other's expressions thing is so similar in both those relationships as well. same as when Lando is in A Mood where he's either hyper or giddy or low-blood sugar argumentative and Oscar and Max are basically following around after him like adults making sure a worn out toddler doesn't smash their head into sharp edges lahflashf.

and with the other F1 Lando friends like Carlos, George, Daniel Alex, Yuku, Max V etc, Lando is fully a gossipy chatterbox and pretty high energy - even when they're filmed casually or candidly. those friendships revolve around F1 and shared activities like padel, golf, gossip or going out/partying. it isn't that guys like Max F or Oscar couldn't easily slot in with those groups, I just think it's more that they're a different type of friendship with Lando. the streams don't usually cross in Lando's life, or very very occasionally. and I feel like he's even said he likes keeping the different parts of his life a bit separate?

so initially it kind of threw a lot of us when he seemed so relatively quiet and less of his usual 'on camera personality' around Oscar rather than seeing his usual teammate Lando Effect of jumping into a bromance, leaning into humor and figuring out a shared activity. and that usually includes lots of social media content together for fans.

but Lando and Oscar never post about when they hang out - even when 'contractually obliged' - and we only find out incidentally or bc someone else mentions it or posts pics. and from what we do find out incidentally, it makes you wonder about what else we're missing. it's just the usual things that a lot of drivers do together but Lando and Oscar prefer not to broadcast it for some reason.

and when you think about it both Oscar and Lando keep a certain percentage of their lives strategically offline already (Oscar way more obv) and it's like they automatically inserted each other into that part of each other's social life rather than a fan-facing one?

like obviously I'm just going off what we can see but they've been pretty damn consistent about it. Lily is obv a major part of Oscar's life and he has this whole set of close friends from boarding school who've gone to races as well as a set of old friends back in Australia - but apart from the occasional post of Lily, we only know any of that part of his life from Oscar mentioning it in passing or incidentally from a post by someone else or a fan sighting. Lando has a whole existence with close friends in Monaco that fans have tried and failed to squirrel out that Lando himself only mentions in passing and never posts about. he posts Martin but goes very shy and doesn't want to talk about him or their friendship in interviews.

and then Lando and Oscar have all these little in-joke moments and watching each other super closely and almost actively concealing the time they spend together that isn't requisite… and then little touching moments like Lando posting Oscar giving him a small smile on lando.jpg as the first slide so that the black heart caption sits underneath. and Oscar staying up all night after Vegas liking comments about Lando's crash and leaving that little papaya heart under the post of McLaren announcing that Lando was discharged safe and sound from hospital. at like 5am and apparently either when Lando was with him or after he'd left him.

idk it's just such a weird case of kismet that Oscar became a serious Lando fan when they were 14 and 16 respectively, their karting journeys both went through Ricky Flynn, Oscar and Max F knew each other in the Renault Academy, their paths crossed in an interview where Lando (who doesn't really talk much about the junior categories) said "not yet" when asked if they'd raced each other. and then Oscar arrives against a LOT of odds as Lando's new teammate and he's got zilch in common with Carlos or Daniel for Lando to fall back on and it's the worst start to the season of Lando's entire career… yet it ends up being the most immediately strong partnership Lando's ever had ?? there's no mixed dynamic to overcome or huge disparity in anything, not even an age difference and they share a double podium not once but twice while Oscar is still a rookie ??

and like, Oscar's in so many ways set up to fit in perfectly with the more low-key friendships Lando has in his non F1 life. bc from what it seems, Lando likes hanging out at home playing games and eating takeout and just chilling quietly as much as he does the glamour of F1 and touring the world and being a businessman. and I feel like he's even said somewhere how he needs to have that balance in his life rather than just being an F1 guy or just being the guy who stays at luxury resorts with famous friends.

so this separate little world that even casual fans seem to pick up on feels like it's because they genuinely fit together so well as people but also happen to make extraordinarily great teammates and I get why Lando keeps bringing up what will happen when they're battling for a WDC with that worried little shadow over his face bc it's one thing to have a bromance buddy teammate where you can shove each other around and laugh and hug off the tension… totally another when it's someone you feel is so similar to you and feel so strange when you're both having to pretend to talk 'normally' on camera and even weirder imagining you both on separate sides of a competition rather than joined together for it ???

like, they wouldn't necessarily have known each other if they weren't teammates and as teammates they're both talking about WDCs in cautious but confident tones and saying how they have 'years together' but also the tension of being each other's biggest competition and measure of success without any of the usual bro-ey fun of being Good Mates or Cabrones bc Lando and Oscar aren't bros and they're not dudes and they don't shove each other around or make loud jokes so how do you diffuse tension when you can psychically sort of connect and the bleed of what you want for each other and yourselves doesn't have that easy delineated relationship boundary bc Lando and Max have had to delicately and carefully navigate something similar and they couldn't just crack a joke or slap each other on the back in a hug and sort it all out bc that's now how they are together they actually talk and they make considered kind and gentle effort and it's too embarrassing to tell people about that unless you feel absolutely safe and chat is unusually chill and idk idk idk the similarities with Lando and Oscar and the complexities man !!!!!

idk as per usual this JUST my brain chewing all of this over and is NOT me thinking I actually know what's going on but it sure helps to offload it here where I know some of us will prob be like 'oh yea I get what that btch is saying' <3<3

[camillahex]

okay i've been thinking a lot about the rat grinders (abbreviated as rgs) and here are my ideas on the different roles they could have this season and an analysis of their appearance so far (putting this under a read more bc it got long)

major antagonists - the rat grinders are directly involved/responsible for whatever the big bad is this season. something like they are causing the quangles in order to get aguefort to leave school and take over w/ Grix to change everything to be hyper rules oriented in order to fuck over the bad kids or take over the world or whatever the big bad actually ends up being. quite frankly, i don't think this is at all likely and it wouldn't make for a very good story imo

minor antagonists - not directly in league w bb but indirectly a part of the problem. one theory i've seen around is they have somehow reprorammed grix (potentially with henry the artificer teacher who has the same last name as the rg bard) and are trying to change the school bc they are fed up w agueforts loosey-goosey ness (this is mainly based on kipperlilly) and they tangentially aid the big bad by doing this as well. i think this is more likely and could be good depending on how it unfolds

antagonistic but not antagonists - feud stays purely in the academic/school life. the rgs maybe show up the bad kids a little, do better than them in classes or at sports, take some of the wind out of their popularity (like at this now abandoned party), maybe kipperlilly even wins pres - but it's not deeper than just being the school worsties of the bad kids

reluctant allies - kind of plays off previous; rgs and bad kids end up having to work together at various points and even battle together (maybe for like the big finale battle) bc they can recognize that saving the world id more important than their school feud

genuine understanding - also plays off previous two; interactions lead to interpersonal conflict at first but through being forced to work and battle together they each begin to see that there is more to the other. bad kids acknowledge that rgs have a lot of raw skill and strength in their own right (as already evidenced by mary ann's athletics and kipperlilly's inplied rogue abilities) and that it takes a lot of dedication and (especially) discipline to work as a party killing rats for three hours every day. rgs acknowledge that large-scale adventuring requires a certain loose attitude for the "rules" and that having being specifically subject to arthur aguefort's chaos may not necessarily be a good thing

now, narratively speaking, i think the rat grinders as a party will have immense specific strength and skills, but will not be prepared for more "real" life or death battles. improvisation really is the better part of planning (thanks calroy) and a plan never survives first contact with the enemy, but they likely have not needed to create complex, or on the fly plans, or improvise when the bad guy throws out some insane shit, while simply killing tens of thousands of rats, spiders, and tree gremlins. none of those beasts would have taught them how to practically deal with ranged weapon attacks or any kind of spell attack, and i could also see them not being the best with playing to each others strengths and covering each others' weaknesses due to the sheer monotony of only ever battling the exact same creatures. i'd also be surprised if they have any experience at all with genuinely dying and having to be revived or even with going into unconsciousness. i do think classes go over that kind of thing but learning the theory of something and then actually having to apply it under pressure are two radically different experiences.

one thing that could complicate this is that the rgs have recently gotten a new cleric party member, who we know is a transfer from highcourt, helioic, and loved by kristen's parents (as an aside, this is going to be so juicy and cause so much conflict w kristen, i'm so excited). clerics are pretty vital for parties going on intense adventures, being the strongest healers of the group, so there are two ways i see a cleric introduction as having to occur. one, is that the rgs have never had a cleric and spending your days killing low level creatures likely does not create much in the way of life threatening scenarios or injuries a long rest couldn't heal. and now that they feel they're strong enough, they want to move to more extreme adventures and feel they need a cleric to make it work

however, option two is that the rgs did have a cleric, and that at some point their cleric fully died. as we've learned, parties who have a member die immediately go on pass/fail and don't have to do a yearly project. if this happened to the rgs last year (or maybe even their first year, i forget if the pass/fail was only through the year or not) they would not have had to do the sophomore year project, and it would explain how they've manages to keep only killing low level creatures. also, this could be especially narratively significant, because, the bad kids had party members die on their very first day of school, one of which was their cleric kristen. they were only revived by aguefort committing ritualistic murder-suicide to bring them back to life. this could definitely read as preferential treatment from aguefort, even though the bad kids could have been anyone and aguefort was just doing his own plan to sneak into heaven and stop being poisoned. a dead cleric would be another level of parallel the rgs would have with the bad kids and could be an aspect of their resentment.

on a more meta/symbolic level, i feel like the rgs, and in particular kipperlilly and her campaign spiel, are representative of an intensely regimented, regulated education system where everyone must do the exact same things, get the exact same help, and all be measured on the exact same axes of success, in a very standardized testing kind of way. now, abstractly, in a vacuum, in a perfect world, this is fine; this is equal treatment under the rules. but the realities on life and people are messy and complex. there's any number of reasons why someone might need more help, different accommodations, and be measured on a different metric of success than someone else and none of it makes it preferential treatment; it's just that everyone has different needs. the solution should always be more diversity in accessibility, not less.

and to bring it back to the narrative, we've been told that adventurers, and by extension the students of the adventuring academy, are basically vigilantes doing, uh, extralegal vigilantism. a regimented system based on grinding out experience by killing rats in the woods would in no way produce successful adventurers, just like really strong exterminators. the things the bad kids have gotten in trouble doing are things it has been explicitly said they are supposed to be doing ad burgeoning adventurers, and the only reason they got in trouble in the first place and weren't allowed to do their thing solving mysteries (as presumably, many many parties before them have done) was because aguefort was missing. even when adaine was kidnapped by fallinel, the school protections she invoked protects all of aguefort's students. we have heard many times that students throughout the adventuring academy's history have been encouraged to act as the extralegal vigilantes they are training to be, and haven't seen anything that suggest it's only been selectively applied to favorites

ultimately, i hope that the realization develops that the school has been failing both the rat grinders and the bad kids. we haven't seen a lot of the rat grinders but based on kipperlilly's complaints i think it would be a failure in a lack support in helping the students find their own adventures (as opposed to just keeping on going killing rats in the woods) and/or a lack of protection for when they bite off more than they could chew (if they did in fact have a cleric who died). for the bad kids, it would be a lack of support and accommodation for when you do find a big adventure and can't keep up with schoolwork, a failure to recognize and interfere when you see students struggling before it reaches a critical breaking point (kristen and fig being close to expulsion), a lack of support wrt university funds/scholarship or required school supplies funding (riz and adaine), a refusal to recognize when students exceed in ways outside of the typical curriculum (gorgug and fabian).

the enemy is the system, not your fellow classmates

[pick-me-up-im-scared]

Sea You Again (Fluff) (Hiccup x Mermaid), Chapter 1: What Was That?

Author´s Note: I've been reading a lot of "Hiccup x Mermaid" lately. I actually don't know why since I didn't thought I would like them. But, surprisingly, I did! It made my imagination go off and now I want to try to make my own attempt. And "yes", the title for this "book" is a pun. Sue me!

Words: 692

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Hiccup's pov:

Being the Chief of Berk, well New Berk, has really been taking a tole on me. All the new responsibilities I've got has really been overwhelming. Makes me wonder 'how did my father do it so well?'. Even though it's been a while since I inherited the "Chief"-title, I'm still struggling. But I have got a few "tricks" to help me. One being me going down to the water by the end of every day. I've found this ocean with a beach connected to it, which allows me to get the taste of the water without actually getting wet. I like to just sit there, enjoying to peacefulness of the water. Being able to rest my mind that's so hyper the rest of the days. Usually, Toothless likes to join me. We don't get that much bonding time with him being the new alpha and me being the Chief. So I value these moments really high nowadays. It's crazy how things you took for granted when you were 18 now takes place as your most precious things. But I guess he values chasing a rabbit over spending time with me.

As I looked at the mountain on the opposed side of the ocean, I could have sworn I saw something moving in the corner of my eye. In the water. Out of reflex, I snapped my head at the direction I, half a second ago, had seen something... moving. I let my eyes go from left to right, scanning everything 110% that's in my field of sight. But with no luck. Knowing my lack of sleep, I convince myself 'it was probably just some illusion'. Just as I was about to go back to my mountaingazing I saw it again. This time by a rock, only a few meter away from where I'm sitting. It being so close to me allowed me to hear it too. Water waving, due to its movements, and..... clicking?

I walked towards the rock, trying my best to be as quiet as possible, not wanting to scare it way. As I reached the water I knew I was screwed. There's no way the "creature" behind the rock won't hear me now. I looked down, praying for my steps to not flop so much. But of course it didn't help. As I raised my glance at the rock again, with an unamused face, I quickly stopped in my tracks. My expression changed to a shocked one. By the side of the rock I could see a face peaking out.... a human face. Even though I only saw half of it I could still tell we had eye contact. Its (e/c) eye looked deep inside my emerald green ones. My mind was racing, trying to tell me what to do. Should I walk up to it and risk being eaten alive? Should I run back to the village? Still standing in my spot, I unmanageably began to fall. I felt as my legs no longer could hold me up. As if a 100 kilos worth of weight was thrown onto me. The shock of seeing the face, apparently, lead to me passing out. Right where I was standing. A thump and I was under water. I felt the water surrounding my face and slowly clogged my airways. Just before I went unconscious I felt a pair of arms around my waist, pulling me up.

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Auther´s Note: Hope you liked the first chapter on this book. I'm already working on the second one, so I hope I'll be able to publish it very soon. Also, this chapter was kind of short, I'll aim to make the other chapters around 1000 words.

[fawnaura]

this is the only place where I feel like I can vent & I’m going to. It is so exhausting hating yourself & criticising yourself before you’ve even gone to speak or say something. I feel like I’ve been programmed to to find the flaws in everything I say / put out there, even in just how I operate or exist. I feel the need to explain & justify myself to such a crippling point. I’m always finding the flaws with what I go to say, before even saying it. Or mid-way through, trying to acknowledge this or that, recognise the different points of view or perspectives. The list goes on. I talk so much because my mind is like this. Hyper vigilant & extremely critical of myself. I’m aware my brain is complete chaos. I feel this intense need to cover all grounds. But right now I just want to express. I don’t know why friendships & relationships seem to be near impossible for me. Friendships more so. As soon as I say that, I think about the whole concept of ‘well if your the common denominator, maybe it’s you.’ Sure. But also, I just don’t get a lot of people? Perhaps all the trauma has made me unconsciously attract certain people in my life? But I actually don’t feel like it’s coming from some unconscious thing on my end. But who knows? Sometimes I feel like shitty people are just drawn to me? Or… I just struggle to attract the right people? Maybe it *is* on me. Maybe I am just annoying because I’m messed up internally (even though I try not to expose that to people.. at all irl). I think all the conflict inside myself / different sides to me, makes me a bit of a pain. I don’t have multiple personalities (at all) I think I just have this weird mix of a ‘lighthearted’ side 2 me & then a really serious side. I want to be authentically myself, so I’ll let both sides to me exist. But it feels like I have to be one thing or another. Maybe all my trauma has left a stain on me, people can sense something about me. And end up treating me the same way I’ve been treated throughout my life. They think it’s ‘okay’ coz they can pick up on that that’s what I’ve experienced, what I know. This was a massive rant that I’m just putting into the abyss. I’m just exhausted. I just want to be myself. And I want to be appreciated. Ofc I want people to like me. And sometimes it feels like people don’t. When it comes to real life friendships, I know that I care deeply, I know that I’m kind to people, have empathy, put effort into *them*, understand boundaries, try not to be a pain or expose the annoying sides of me, but somehow, I’m still unlikeable? I’m friendly, warm, try to be funny. Considerate. I just don’t get why things pan out the way they do. I’m so tired.

[underratedmurder]

Wake Up Captain! (Mack iswm/The Captain (reader)

They are in love!!! A short and sweet little Mack drabble of him reluctantly tucking the captain into bed.

~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~

The captain was slumped over in a chair in the control room. It was late at night and a single light was on, illuminating their stack of papers and random equipment. Mark was passed out on the floor, a bag of sour candy in his hand, and a stream of blue drool falling down his cheek. 

It was one of those nights that the Captain and the Head Engineer hopped themselves up on sugar to stay awake.

It didn’t work.

The captain had dozed off just minutes ago, but after sitting in that chair for hours, they were hard asleep in no time.

Quick traveling footsteps could be heard approaching from the hall.

“Captain, I have a request for the-” Mack stopped in his tracks.

His hands slowly fell to his sides in disappointment.

He bent down to pick up an empty bag of candy from the floor.

“Slobs,” he scoffed, his mouth twitching in that horribly bothered way it always did when he was positively disgusted by the buffoonery going on around him.

Because he was so much better. The captain kind of despised that about Mack, he had such a stick up his ass, and always had so much to say. Judging and peering over people's shoulders. Not to mention how manipulative he was. If there was one thing they were dreaming about in their sweets induced coma, it was Mack being pleasant for once.

“It’s time to wake up Captain,” he called out in a sarcastic tone, sighing as he walked over in his methodical pace.

When the captain didn’t respond, he nudged their shoulder. 

“Captain?”

Not even a flinch.

I should wake them, he thought.

But for some reason, he didn’t.

His eyes traced over the papers on the captain's desk, notes and blueprints with barely legible writing scribbled all over them consumed page after page.

All Mack knew was the captain was tired. And he'd be lying if he said he didn’t know how that felt.

Then again, Mack usually lied about how he felt.

He gave them one last nudge for good measure, and still, nothing.

Mack braced himself, pulling down his gloves extra tight, and straightening his belt, before he knealed down and lifted the captain from under their arms.

Slowly and steadily, Mack began to carry the captain, his hold as light and as gentle as he could muster.

Every instinct that he had was telling him that he should not be doing this. But there was an aching feeling in his stomach that told him he should.

Imagining what it would look like if someone walked in right now and saw him holding the captain bridal style while Mark lay unconscious on the floor was a thought that almost made him chuckle.

Then he’d really look like a maniac. Though he always denied it, Mack was a little closer to killing his peers than most were comfortable with.

The captain smelled like blue raspberry, and upon further inspection, it was because of the blue stains on their lips from the candy.

Mack suddenly became hyper aware of just how close the captains face was to his own, and he shivered. He was just thankful they were asleep.

Mack made his way quietly out of the control room, walking past locked crew members doors, all of them supposedly dead asleep as well. He reckoned it wasn’t actually normal to be up and functioning this late, but to him, it was. He didn’t sleep very often, maybe 3, 4 hours every night. An amount he was sure would upset the captain if he told them. He usually kept those things to himself.

With each step he took, the captain's weight felt more and more comfortable in his arms, and with great surprise, it seemed they were becoming comfortable as well. A single hand wrapped around Mack's neck and clung onto the back of his uniform.

Mack tensed up. Looking down, he prayed they hadn’t woken up, but when he did, they were still sound asleep. 

He sighed in relief. The last thing he wanted was to make the captain uncomfortable if they woke up. That kind of confrontation might have made him explode out of embarrassment.

Simply at the thought of such a thing, Mack was surprised to find that he was blushing. Like, really blushing. His whole head was hot, his ears and neck red as a tomato. He frowned.

Please please don’t wake up.

He never begged, but in this case, he was willing to.

Making it to the captain's quarters was easier said than done, as he had to bend down to unlock their door, nearly dropping them in the process. He really needed to work on his core strength. 

He slid through the doorway and went to lay the captain down on their ‘cosmic couch’, as Mark and the rest of the crew liked to call it. Mack had always heard about it in conversation, but had never actually seen it. He was surprised to see that it was a completely normal piece of furniture that had the occasional planet printed on it.

“How dumb,” he half whispered, forgetting that he had a literal unconscious human being in his arms.

He gingerly laid the captain to rest, throwing a blanket over their body and awkwardly patting their shoulder before he turned to leave.

A drop of sweat fell down his forehead.

Stop being so nervous.

He was leaving now, as quickly and as professionally as he could, though the circumstances didn’t call for it at all. He was almost out the door before-

“Thanks Mack,” 

The voice behind him was quiet and drowsy, he froze.

His mouth slightly agape, he almost dared to look behind him, before he swallowed, cleared his throat, and quickly left and shut the door behind him.

Safe to say, the captain was definitely awake now.

[yourgamemasterthewhiterabbit]

The great regular sleep experiment of 2024 day uh... "too much tea"

Well it turns out that while caffeine helps me sleep fine for my morning slot... Drinking a lot of fluids doesn't...

Other than being up to pee a whole lot, I slept well enough, ended up staying in bed till closer to 3 on account of the getting up to pee a bunch. Lesson learned. That could have gone way worse.

I *think* these sleep shifts are as good as it's going to get. One is even right after morning errands where I get in, put stuff away and want nothing more than to shower and fall into bed.

Also Pumpkin will let me sleep for 4 hours at a time, if it's at times he's used to me doing it and if it doesn't go on much longer than that... Because babies [cats] need to be fed every 4 hours :/ [this one does]

Right now I'm still a bit hyper-thyroid though, and it just got warm out, and I think my immune system is 'activating' against something again, so I have been trying to push myself to do chores if I am going to be awake and feel physically horrible anyway.

I did that thing where after scrubbing the floor yesterday and letting it dry, I swept it again today in greater detail and washed it again. Ooooh aaaah clean floors. Cleaned the toilet, washed dishes, did some sink laundry.

AND I FOUND MY 'O' KEY!!! I have a full keyboard again!

The main thing is I am trying to keep all the cleaning and organizing 1. Quiet and 2. done at a pace I could maintain on most days, because if I get a bee in my bonnet about it and wear myself down, i might get a huge chunk done... I might even get the 'rest' as done as it can be, but then I will crash and have to recover, which might mean falling behind on everything again and breaking any fragile habits, and I don't want to do that...

The only issue I see with this sleep schedule is it tends to take me 4 ish hours to wake up after sleeping and a bit to wind down... So the 5 hours between my sleeps works fine on days where I can spend that 5 hours doing nothing much, but on days where I need to do stuff --that isn't groceries before morning bedtime and crashing-- it means 8 hours spent sleeping, plus the five in between that I can't use, plus another 3 minimum to get running, plus whatever hours I sleep past 2pm because i need extra sleep, and then having those remaining hours be in the middle of the night.

The only other way to approach it is by waking up and immediately throwing myself into doing things before I am awake enough to process anything, like how much it hurts... And that can be okay for basic cleaning, but I am so out-of-it when I first wake up that doing anything with anything heavy or sharp or powered becomes actively dangerous. ... Which is why it usually takes me 4 ish hours to get running because otherwise I am not alert... and that leaves... maybe 7 hours. Mostly being at night will add to my ability to being alert, and those hours would be great for working on art or writing and quiet creative projects, but it's not workable for any kind of tool use, or any heavy cleaning or organizing. [If I had my own house it would be fine]

And the problem is that if I am left with no times of day that are convenient to do a thing... I end up unconsciously avoiding it without realizing what's getting in my way. I KNOW I do that, so I am trying to set myself up for success instead of failure.

My remaining hope is that as I get used to this schedule, if I can keep it without the *symptoms*... I'll start to get alert or sleepy faster when it's appropriate and struggle less to do things during the 5 hours between sleeps.

On the bright side at least I am *mostly* only fighting my own body for this, but not having roommates to also have to work around... Just apartment neighbours.

If I can just get really used to a half-awake 5 hours of misery on any morning I have to get shit done, it'll be mostly fine, probably??

[ghetsis]

@heroftruth cont.

Her stomach twists as Eelektross charges forward, electricity slamming its way into her partner quickly. The speed of it all leaves her Samurott no time to do anything other than brace. For a terrifying moment, it appears to Hilda that the move had knocked him unconscious and she finds herself taking a rushed step toward him. But her Samurott lifts its head and steadies its frame. The action is slow, and Hilda knows instantly that his health is low, another hit of that caliber will result in him fainting. She’s quick to withdraw Percy, the panic that has filled her since the initial sight of Ghetsis growing slightly. Her plan had simply been to look around Dragonspiral tower, not to end up fighting against the very man who haunted her nightmares. She wasn’t prepared for this. The entirety of the team she normally battled with was not on her, an Umbreon far too low-leveled and young for such a fight filling one of the spots. As strong as she and her pokemon have become, he’s caught her off guard. Unlike their last fight, she can’t see a way through this. The only hope she has is to take a defensive stance, to try and protect her pokemon the best she can.

   Stoutland is swiftly released, and Hilda forces herself to stand straighter despite the terror flooding her, determined to not let it show. “Go ahead, but then you will never find Reshiram. They aren’t on me.” She knows she’s playing a dangerous game by voicing this, that it’s only going to aggravate him further, but she does so regardless- hoping to find a way to get her pokemon out of this battle. “Kamali, Hyper Beam.”

Predictable of her to withdraw the Samurott rather than let him faint. Ghetsis withdrew his Eelektross in kind to avoid being outnumbered later. At the sight of her Stoutland, he released Bastiodon, a newer addition to his team. The steel type took the Hyperbeam in stride, its shield-like head protecting the rest of its body.

Ghetsis was taken aback by Hilda's claim that Reshiram wasn't with her. What kind of trainer wouldn't arm themselves with the most powerful pokemon available to them? Oh, right... The kind who saw pokemon as treasured friends with free agency and all that... He snarled in frustration before collecting himself.

"Is that so," he huffed. "Well, that certainly does put you at a disadvantage, doesn't it? As I recall, Reshiram's awakening was the only reason you and your pokemon walked away alive all those years ago. Do you remember that feeling of being so close to utter failure? I wonder if it's a familiar feeling now. How long until Reshiram senses the danger you're in and comes to the rescue? How long before you can no longer bear the suffering of your pokemon and call in your only hope of survival? I guess we'll see which comes first."

He pulled another pokeball from his coat and released Toxicorak alongside his Bastiodon. He was aware that the use of Hyperbeam left Hilda's Stoutland open to attack and now was not the time to play fair.

"Close Combat," he ordered and the Toxicroak charged forth in its assault.

[aiyexayen]

what is best friend's squad and hello dolly and healer's hands?

you have a knack for picking out the ones that are the most different from each other lmfao i love that.

best friend squad is an au of the untamed where wei wuxian doesn't go back to cloud recesses with lan wangji--he actually manages to convince lan sizhui and lan jingyi and the other juniors to let him help with their investigation, so they never call in hanguang-jun to help. this is my wei wuxian/lan sizhui/lan jingyi agenda.

excerpt:

Wei Ying is thoroughly ignored. He retracts every charitable thought he's had about Lans since they arrived. "I mean," he says, louder, trying belatedly to infuse eagerness, reliability, into his tone, "you don't need to bother him at all. I can solve the problem." He'll gladly sacrifice his poor-crazy-Mo-Xuanyu image in exchange for not dealing with Lan Zhan. For a second it looks as though they'll continue to ignore him, though, and Wei Ying curses himself for so efficiently becoming unremarkable. How far the great Yiling Laozu has fallen. How far Wei Wuxian, first disciple of his generation, pride of Yunmeng Jiang has fallen. To be slandered and defamed, vilified, cursed for all eternity by everyone he's ever loved? That's one thing. To be tossed aside as totally useless? That grates. Sure, he brought it on himself, but the act is over now. Can't these Lans keep up? But the second-in-command turns to him, then, disdain etched across his sour face. "You? You can solve this problem?" Wei Ying was waffling between thinking of him as the fun one and the rude one, and finally makes up his mind. The nice one is quicker on the uptake, though, and quells his shidi with a raised hand, tilting his head consideringly. "They're your relatives," the Lan says. "Do you know something about what they've been getting involved with?"

meanwhile, hello dolly is a word of honor rpf hello dolly au hfkdfhskfhdjfh i don't have a decent snippet to share right now since it's in the planning stage and kind of on the backburner but i thought it would just be really fun to cast junzhe in an au as a stingy old rich business person and the free-spirited jack-of-all-trades matchmaker hell bent on marrying him.

and third, but far from last, healer's hands is a character study of wen kexing and how he uses his hands. in lieu of an actual writing excerpt i will give you a snippet of my breakdown that inspired it, just to shake things up:

it's less "he kills with these hands but when it's time to heal, he's also gentle"

it's less a duality, and more...he kills with the hands of a healer. as much as anything else. as much as he heals with them, as much as he loves with them. he doesn't turn the healer in him off even at his most violent and it shows.

he knows how to channel energy very, very well through his hands. he's extremely aware of them and how they interact with the world. his primary tool and primary weapon, more than even his fan. it's not accidental or unconscious. it's very deliberate.

he knows what energy to push through them to snap a neck or to cradle it, he knows how to play music and warm a flask of jiu. he automatically reaches to check for a pulse, to check meridians, to channel healing qi. and it's all part of the same thing--that fine-tuned hyper-awareness, specifically of his hands and the myriad ways they can affect those around him.

he makes things very personal. he doesn't shy away from intimacy even in violence. he accepts it, relishes it. he turns that ease and efficiency with which healers learn to touch and he flips it around, taking the tools and skills of his parents' legacy, the future that zhen yan should have had, and using it!! the only way he could in the place he grew up!!!

[flfverse]

TRANS KIRI RIGHTS!!!!!

Oh my god I read it last night before bed and it’s ALL I could think about!!! And it’s STILL all I can think about!!! I’m so in love with this concept and so glad you ended up writing this. The slow realization, the denial, the imposter syndrome, the perceived selfishness—it’s all soooo good and really speaks to what I feel like is kind of this internalized orientationism that exists unconsciously in the greater society of your worldbuilding from which a lot of the trans issues or Hawks’s internalized subphobia (is that a thing? Is now) kind of stem insidiously. Kirishima is like “I’m a dom! It’s my job to protect ppl and I’m a hero anyway so it all works out!” But that’s a trap he doesn’t realize he’s stuck in until he’s really forced to confront it, and I’m soooo in love with how you handled him avoiding the issue until it blew up in his face (because I’m an angst/hurt/comfort lover). Got all the swoopy feelings in my stomach about it and even when I go back to read it again I still get em 🩵

Kiri’s evolution is something I’m so excited to read further about… I really hope you’ll explore him trying to hide it from his friends, who are so used to using him as a dom sounding board when they need help. I can’t imagine he’ll find it easy to give up that role easily, since he cares so much for his friends and wants to support them in any way he can, and also because I wonder if the weight of their expectations will be hard to get out from under without outing himself? Like I can just see Sero torn on the sidelines watching Kirishima do things that hurt himself but not knowing how to intervene in a way that respects Kirishima’s boundaries but also is healthy for him?

Which also makes me wonder about our dear, beloved, hyper vigilant Aizawa-sensei… because I’m an ever-guilty Aizawa lover…….!! But that aside, my excuse for bringing him is that I think he would at least notice something off with kirishima and his dynamic w the class (unless he’s not their teacher at this point? Tbh I’m admittedly not sure how school is looking for these kids at this point in your story ehehe). But I can also picture sero going to him like “girl help! My bf is (redacted) and he’s hurting himself over it and idk what to do!” Or also kiri showing up in the office like “Sensei help! I’m (redacted) and idk what to do!” And Aizawa being like “well I can’t help if I don’t know the root of the problem but also I respect boundaries so….”

Sorry got carried away a bit. But the point is! I loved this fic and CANT wait to see where you’ll take it next.

Enjoy your hiatus! You’ve more than earned it. Until the next update, I’ll be lurking on old chapters and poking you in your asks 🩵

—V

TRANS!!! KIRI!!! RIGHTS!!! 🩵🩵🩵

oh yeah, i definitely want to explore him hiding things from the others. we loveee that angst. i don’t know when i want him to come out…in Cross the Line i did write a little throwaway convo about him and sero both being doms before i decided to hit him with the trans beam, and i’m still undecided on what to do about that. they’re all around 23 at that point, which is a pretty long time to hide, so i might change it. i can definitely see him only coming out to a few people for the sake of his hero career….we’ll see.

aizawa is definitely still around! in my head they keep the same homeroom teacher bc i loveee dadzawa and it makes sense?? right?? if he’s training them?? yeah.

i lowkey forgot he would be around noticing all of this but yeah, he would definitely notice the dynamic was off and be like, waiting for the right excuse to poke at the issue. and sero would absolutely come to him well before kiri would :(( ack i’m making myself sad thinking about him now

i like this version of kiri (and all versions of trans kiri) bc he has this kind of comedic level of emphasis on manliness and being the steady unwavering rock for his friends, which is very wholesome, but also BUDDY. you need to base your identity on more things than that. i think it is very genuine, which is why i love him, but also you could play it like he’s compensating, like if he just says it enough it’ll be true.

augh. enough sadkiri thoughts. let’s think about puppykiri again and ask the REAL question which is: why does his costume have a psuedo-muzzle, hm? what’s happening here

thank you for coming to my ted talk. i think the next little edition of this mini saga will just be focused on kiri and sero and puppy play (and some trans feelings), but after that it’d be fun to do some angst. or before. depends which i finish first, i guess?

[foxsoulart]

Feral mode is triggered aka Chapter 4

‐----

The boys had returned from patrol arguing. Tension had been high the last few days and it escalated that night. A few cross words and everyone spiraled into yelling. Master Splinter couldn't stop them no matter what he tried. "Boys please-" "IF YOU HAD JUST LISTENED TO ME-" " AND WHY THE SHELL WOULD I DO THAT OH HIGH AND MIGHTY" " RAPH YOU REALLY SHOULD HAVE LISTE-" "BUT DON LEO'S PLAN DIDN'T WORK ANYW-" "IT WOULD HAVE IF YOU HA-" "LEO, IT WOULDN'T HAVE"

They all paused to breathe in. Then Leo was tackled by a snarling Ali. "Ali stop! That's Leo!"

"Ah, let her he needs a few-"

"Raph she's using her claws!" Oh shell. Rushing forward they managed to get her off him; but not without getting hurt in the process. She lashed out at all of them, attacking anything that moved. Something was wrong, she was too animalistic, too savage and she had never attacked them before.

"Ali calm down its us!"

"We're not gonna hurt you!"

She hissed and spat from Splinter's hold. Thrashing as she tried to attack them. She flung her head back smacking Splinter's chin causing him to lose his hold.

"MIKEY DUCK"

Mikey hit the floor just in time as she lunged at him. "Sorry Ali" Raph murmured as he hit the back of her head with his sai's hilt. She collapsed unconscious, a snarl on her lips. "What was that?" Donnie asked as his legs gave out from shock and he sat down with a thump.

"I am not sure, but we must tend to you and your brothers first my son. As much as I hate to do so...Michaelangelo please go grab the rope, I'm afraid she can't be loose until she is in her right mind." Splinter's ears drooped at the thought of having to tie up one of his children. "Raphael can you help Leonardo get to the medbay? I will help Donatello" "Yeah, I got him"

The mood was somber as they patched everyone up. "I think...I might have an idea as to why Ali went....feral" All heads turned toward Donnie. "I think she sensed our hostility and anger, and maybe that triggered some sort of defense mechanism and I've noticed she's been hyper focused or hyperobservant the past few days plus she doesn't seem to do well with a ton of noise or things going on at once cause it would be harder for her to concentrate so our yelling may have startled her and kinda pushed her over the edge meaning she was probably overwhelmed or overstimulated or some form of that and her body's and mind's reaction to that may have been to regress into a more animalistic state and attack everything in an attempt to protect herself but I could be totally wrong I have no idea how exactly her mind works."

"And how would we fix or prevent that?" Donnie rubbed his head "I have no idea, not yelling at each other would probably be a good start. But I haven't researched enough on overstimulation to know for sure."

"So how do we get her back to normal?"

"I highly doubt simply not yelling would cut it."

"Hah, talk about an impossible task"

"Perhaps we should ask what exactly triggered it and work from there"

Donnie hmmed in agreement, hopefully she'd be back to normal when she awoke, otherwise they'd have a bigger problem on their hands.

Ali's face twitched and scrunched as she blinked awake. Shifting she noticed that she was tied to one of the pillars. Her ear flicked and she looked up at Raph. "How ya feeling?" She looked him over "Ali hurt you"

"No. That wasn't you"

"was"

"you weren't yourself-"

"was, Ali was. Ali hurt what supposed protect. Ali fault, should punish"

"No, it wasn't your fault it was ours. If we hadn't freaked you out you wouldn't have felt unsafe, so stop that kind of thinking right now." Her ears drooped "angry?"

"Not at you, let's get those ropes off" Untying her he sighed at her aversion of him like she was afraid of hurting him. "Do you know what triggered...the... aggression?" "Loud, bright, nightmare, family not safe, must protect, too much, too loud."

"Oh." He had not been expecting that knowledgeable and detailed of an answer. Great, that is alot of stuff to handle, ugh. "Well, Dad wants you to talk with him about it, he'll see what he can do to help. Donnie'll want to know too."

Quietly "okay"

Ali had been doing alot better after her talk with Splinter. And the boys now knew how to spot her warning signs and help her de-stimulate. The first and what they hoped was the last time they encountered feral mode, slipped into the past where it belonged as time wore on.

~~

Previous Chapter

Next

Summary

[inkblot-inc]

"The Hand Thing"

Summary: [JAWS AU] Just putting a zoom lens on an aspect of Jaws and Nat's relationship.

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Mutant!TigerShark!Reader

[JAWS AU Masterlist]

Warning(s): None, just about all of it is fluff

Note: I'm really just out here talking about Jaws and Nat because I love them together and I wanted to write something about them. I hyper focused on this shit, so here it is :3

Word Count: Somewhere floating past 1.1k

*squints* I give NO ONE permission to repost or translate my work. Make your own shit

One of the things Jaws and Nat have in their dynamic is holding/entwining their hands together. They generally like to keep contact with each other, but they will do this without fail

Since the first time that Jaws and Nat met officially, this has been their thing. To start, everyone was undoubtedly on edge and distrusting of Jaws due to the circumstances of which they met (understandably so). Natasha however understood their initial attack on the Avengers to be reactionary and even absentminded. The clothes they wore were evidence of a subject of some kind, not a mastermind. That and there was a difference in behavior and thought process that Wanda noted that led Natasha to take a careful approach. Suspicion? Definitely present, but there was also a latent curiosity that she wanted to sate.

With just about everyone keeping their distance, Natasha was the first to take the plunge and literally close the gap between Jaws and the rest of them.

The first time Natasha held Jaws’ hand, their heightened senses immediately tuned in to her level pulse, not once was there an uptick while she was explaining their new living situation and where they would be staying. Her willingness to be close to them made Jaws feel lighter with a sense of comfort.

That ready contact showed that Natasha wasn’t afraid of them did wonders toward Jaws' own trust in at least one of the people they'd be in the company of, and the easy reassurance also helped motivate Jaws to progress in their sessions and want to try and be better.

Now that Jaws and Natasha are together, that repeated action has only come to mean more to them. Unconscious the not, that physical touch pioneering part of their connection.

-----

Pretty woman holding hand make brain go brrRR-

But seriously, it’s a general comfort thing for Jaws to have that steady pulse help bring them back to ground zero in different instances. Whether it's for calm, reassurance or comfort

Nat holding Jaws’ hand to make sure that they’re only focusing on her in high stress/high tension situations

The entwined hands also do a lot for Natasha as well. Natasha has no problem with being flirty and provocative and all of that has its place, but she can still be hesitant when it comes to showing affection in earnest.

I imagine this is important to Natasha in light of how her previous relationship dynamic with Bruce was mainly different lead ins to sex and one-sided conversations with no room for smaller moments of affection.

Jaws wanting to be around Nat for more than just sexual intamacy, to have that simple interaction is something she thinks on a lot in private.

Both of them kissing their knuckles as a version of “I love you”

Jaws definitely holds their hands in their pocket while their out together

It’s just easy for the both of them

Holding hands = "I'm here"

Holding hands = "Everything is okay"

Holding hands = "I trust you"

-----

Jaws is on the couch watching good ole backseat gaming while Peter plays Apex in the common room. They hear the elevator open before recognizing the step patterns of Nat and Sam coming back from the store. Jaws keeps their eyes on the screen as they raise a hand behind them. “They’re to your right, Pete…”

After setting the bags on the counter, Natasha walks over and clasps her hand in Jaws’ before lifting it and pecking their knuckles. Bracing her grip, Natasha lifts herself over the back of the couch to the empty spot next to them before moving into their lap. Jaws rests their head on top of Natasha’s as they both focus on the tv again as Peter gets fried by the same Valkyrie player you’d been warning him about.

“Alright, what’d I miss?”

“Peter proving that I’m the one that carries all of his matches.”

“Hey!”

---

It’s been a couple of hours since Secretary Ross left the compound (thinking of the instance here). Natasha makes her way to the training area to see Jaws sitting on one the benches off to the side with four punching bags leaking sand on the ground beside them.

“I’ll say sorry to Steve about his equipment later, I couldn’t find mine-”

“It’s fine, there’s more in storage,” Nat walks further into the room before she settles on the bench next to Jaws. 

Jaws kept their eyes on their wrapped knuckles, grumbling as they continued to flex them. “The government fuckin’ sucks…”

“Amen to that,” Natasha picks up Jaws’ hand, her fingers naturally sliding through the spaces in between, unknowing or rather uncaring of the bit of blood from their bandages smearing onto her own hands with her thumb slowly running over their knuckles. "The earth won't stop turning because of the words of one man."

Jaws’ eyebrows furrowed, “Who said that?”

Natasha didn't skip a beat. “I did, because it’s true.” Jaws nodded, giving a brief squeeze to their hands. Both of them sat in silence watching the sun begin to fall behind the horizon.

---

Natasha stops looking in the closet to look back at Jaws grumbling while lacing up their boots. “You know we don’t have to go out if you don’t want to,”

Jaws looks up with a quirked eyebrow. “Nat, you’ve been looking forward to that new art exhibit thing all week, we’re going.”

Natasha adjusts to hold her towel with one hand as she brushes her hair back with the other. “It’s not a big deal, we can just stay in,”

Shaking their head, Jaws gets up and makes their way over to the redhead. Taking her free hand into their own, Jaws nudges Natasha’s hip. “Look at me Natty,” They lower their head to try and catch Natasha’s eyes. “You lookin’ at me?”

Finding Jaws’ small smile, she nods “Yeah…yeah I’m looking at you.”

“Good. Now hear me when I say that I don’t give a shit how tired I am, this is something you want to do and had planned for the last few days. I’m the dumbass that took a nap in the middle of the day, alright?”

Watching Natasha’s own smile grow, Jaws brings their hands up to peck her knuckles. “Now, go ahead and finish getting dressed before that towel decides we don’t go anywhere.”

---

They're watching late night Boomerang cartoons, probably Snorks or Tom and Jerry at this hour.

“Go on ahead and sleep, Natty.”

“Hm? I’m awake, Jayjay…” Jaws gently holds up her wrist, their thumb lightly on her pulse point with a small smile. “Try again, sweets.”

Jaws isn’t tired so they’ll just have the lights turned off and the tv volume lowered to a hum as they secure their arms around Natasha’s waist.

She let out a small huff, almost ready to protest before giving in and fully resting her weight on Jaws.

[bi-bard]

I'll Let You In - Castiel Imagine (Supernatural)

Title: I'll Let You In

Pairing: Castiel X Reader

Based On: That's When

Word Count: 2,490 words

Warning(s): mentions of death

Summary: (Season 7 + 9) After gaining his memory back, Castiel has to leave to go help the Winchesters. (Y/n) promises to leave the door open to him. They weren’t expecting him to actually come back.

Author's Note: This was the first imagine I thought of when I was getting this writing challenge arranged.

Also, the Netflix captions and the Supernatural Wiki have different spellings for Emmanuel, so... I'm following the wiki.

Masterlist for From the Vault - Taylor Swift Writing Challenge

Hey! I did a rewrite of the ending of Supernatural. It took a really long time to complete, so it would mean a lot to me if you check it out. Here’s a link! (it’s on my personal account)

------------------------------------

I was trying to adjust to my new surroundings.

Moving had sent my brain into overdrive. I just became hyper-aware of everything going on around me. It sounds great, but after a while, it just felt like nagging anxiety.

I tried to find ways to relieve those feelings. To ground myself in my new surroundings.

So, I started spending my mornings on my new porch with my coffee. I would sit in my chair with a blanket over my legs. I would just try to relax.

It had been working pretty well.

I found myself being calmer throughout the day. It was nice.

One day, it didn't work all that well.

I was sitting and relaxing... and then I saw someone walking out of the lake. It genuinely looked like a naked man was walking out of the lake.

I blinked a couple of times, thinking that I had to have seen something.

I wasn't.

"What the fuck," I muttered.

I stood up and grabbed my blanket before walking down the front steps. The man had already been walking toward my house anyway.

"Hey," I called.

The man looked at me. He looked completely out of it. Confused and overwhelmed.

"Are... Are you okay," I asked.

He furrowed his eyebrows before looking down at himself, like he was checking on himself for the first time. He looked back at me after a minute.

"I-I don't know," he mumbled.

His next step was a stumble.

"Hey, hey, hey," I stepped forward and helped him stay standing. I quickly wrapped the blanket around him, trying to cover him as well as possible. "Okay, okay. Come on."

I guided him to the house. We got to the living room before I let him lay on the couch. He only blinked a few times before losing consciousness. I adjusted the blanket on him and checked his pulse.

Still had a pulse. Still breathing. He was okay.

I slowly turned his head. That's what you do so you know someone won't choke on their vomit while they're unconscious... right?

"Great idea," I muttered to myself. "Bring in some random naked stranger. That's a great idea. Shit."

I pinched the bridge of my nose and stepped away. I took a deep breath before looking at my couch. What do I do now?

I kind of just followed my gut after that.

I snagged some of the very baggy clothes I owned and laid them on the table. I scribbled a note saying that I would be in my office. I was just hoping that he would wake up and feel... okay, at least.

"Please don't die on my couch, I don't know how to explain that one," I muttered before walking to my office.

I managed to work for a few hours in silence.

"Hello!"

My head popped up when I heard a voice from the living room. The man.

I walked out to see him dressed and was clearly concerned.

"Hi," I said. "Are you okay? Are you feeling alright?"

He nodded.

"Is there anyone I can call?"

He paused before shaking his head and shrugging. I sighed. Of course, why would it be that easy?

"Are you hungry," I asked. "I could make you something."

"Okay," he replied.

He followed me into the kitchen and sat at the table. I just put together a sandwich. I kept an eye on the man in the corner of my eye.

"So... what's your name," I asked.

"I... I don't know," he muttered. "I don't know my name."

I saw him starting to worry.

I walked over and sat in the chair next to him, "Hey, hey. It's alright. We'll get this figured out, okay?"

He took a breath before nodding. I smiled and walked back to the counter. I grabbed a knife to cut the sandwich, not paying enough attention.

"Crap," I muttered as the knife slid on my finger.

"What happened," the man stood up. I waved him off. "Let me help."

"I'm okay," I promised. "Just a small cut."

He grabbed my hand, looking down at the cut for a moment. He then held his hand a few inches above it. I watched as his hand started to glow and my cut healed.

"What the hell," I mumbled. "What are you?"

He shrugged, "I don't know."

--time skip--

After that, the man and I fell into a bit of a rhythm. We had gotten him clothes. He decided to dedicate himself to helping others. I was still doing my normal work while simultaneously helping him with his work.

He still didn't have his memories back. Sometimes I would see him sit and try to figure things out. It was like there was a wall in his head that he couldn't break through.

He decided on a name for the time being. Emmanuel.

I thought it was nice.

I thought he was nice.

One night, I came downstairs to see the kitchen light on.

Emmanuel was sitting at the table, head in his hands with a mug sitting in front of him. I tried to take slow steps. I didn't want to overwhelm him.

"Hey," I said, leaning on the doorway.

He looked up quickly.

"Sorry."

"You're... It's fine," he replied quietly.

I walked over and sat next to him, "What's wrong?"

"I just... I want to remember so bad," he muttered. He paused for a moment to dig the heels of his hands into his eyes. They fell back onto the table. "I can feel it. It's all right there. I just... can't get to it."

I reached over and grabbed his hand. His other hand rested on top of mine.

"It's okay," I said. "I understand you want to feel whole, but this pushing... it's going to hurt you. You aren't solving anything. You're just causing more pain."

He sighed.

"I want to help you... and I'm trying... I just won't stand by and watch you hurt yourself. I can't."

Emmanuel nodded.

There was a long pause, "Why did you take me in?"

"What," I asked.

"You didn't have to take me in," he continued. "I was naked and confused and dirty... and you still took me in."

"It...," I paused. I hadn't even thought about it. "It just seemed right. I wouldn't have been able to live with myself if I let you just wander off."

He grinned. I grinned back.

"Thank you," he said. "I don't think I ever said that."

"It was implied," I shrugged, smiling a little wider when he chuckled.

We sat at the table for a minute in silence. I was about to lean back when he leaned over and pressed his lips to mine. My eyes went wide for a moment before the shock wore off and I slowly kissed him back.

I slowly pulled back and smiled at him.

This was all worth it. I could tell.

--time skip--

We continued on as normal.

We helped people when they needed it. Found a way to be somewhat normal without needing to hide who Emmanuel was.

I was just getting to the point where I was used to it all when I got a phone call. I didn't know it at the time, but it would be one of the most important phone calls I would ever receive.

"Hello," I said.

"(Y/n), it's Mackey."

"Hey," I greeted. "How's your eye?"

"Better than ever," he replied. "I have a buddy that needs Emmanuel's help. A hunter. His brother had some kind of mental break. Think he can help?"

"Maybe," I shrugged. "He hasn't really gone beyond physical injury. Go ahead and give him the address. We'll see what happens."

"Alright, thank you."

"You're welcome," I said before saying goodbye and hanging up the phone. "Emmanuel!"

"Yeah," we met each other in the living room.

"We have a hunter coming out here," I explained. "Brother had a mental break. I don't know if you can help, but I offered to try."

He nodded, "Okay."

"Do you think you'll be able to help," I asked.

"I might," he replied. "I soothe your nightmares, so there's a definite chance-"

"I'm sorry, you do what?"

"I soothe your nightmares."

I paused for a moment. Oh my God, I hadn't had a nightmare since he got here.

"You didn't know that?"

"Not in the slightest," I muttered before chuckling. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," he replied before pulling me close to him. He kissed my head. "(Y/n)."

I hummed.

"I... I love you," he confessed quietly.

I smiled, "I love you too."

About a day later, there was a knock on the door. Emmanuel was upstairs, so I walked over and looked through the small side window. I pulled open the door when I saw a guy that looked... like a hunter.

"Hi," I said.

"Hi," he replied. "Mackey called you about me."

"The hunter," I guessed.

"Dean," he introduced.

I nodded, "Come on in. Emmanuel's upstairs. You can wait in the living room for him."

"Thanks," he walked into the living room while I jogged up the steps.

Emmanuel was just walking out of our room.

"The hunter is here," I said, pointing backward over my shoulder.

"Okay," he replied. He grabbed my hand and walked downstairs with me.

Dean stood up when he heard our footsteps. He froze when he saw Emmanuel. I tilted my head.

"Hi, I'm Emmanuel," he held his hand out to the hunter. The hunter paused for a moment before shaking it. "You came concerning your brother."

"Umm, yeah," Dean cleared his throat, still clearly confused about something. "He's... sick. Hallucinations of the devil. He's being tortured. Like some wall suddenly gave way."

"Where is he," Emmanuel asked.

"In a mental institution," Dean explained. "Checked himself in."

"I'm so sorry," I added. They both looked over at me. I stammered for a moment.

"It's okay," Dean nodded. "You two are... together?"

"We have been for a while," Emmanuel looked at me with a grin before looking back at the hunter. "I'll go with you. See what I can do. Wait here. I'll get a bag together."

Emmanuel went back upstairs for a moment. I looked at Dean.

"Would you like some water," I offered. He shook his head. There was a moment of silence. "You know him, don't you? The version of him that has his memories."

Dean blinked at me.

"I saw it when you walked in."

"Yeah, I do," he nodded.

"I want him to help you," I said, stepping forward. "I want him to have his memories back. But don't push him. I... I don't want him to get hurt. I care for him... I... I love him."

"I'll... I'll do my best," he promised.

I nodded and waited for Emmanuel to come back down the stairs. He pulled me into a soft kiss before kissing my forehead.

"I'll be back soon," Emmanuel said.

"Be careful," I mumbled. He nodded.

The two of them left the house soon after. I let out a sigh. I never realized how big this house was.

It didn't feel right without him here.

I got a phone call that night.

"Hello," I said, barely glancing at the caller ID.

"(Y/n)."

"Emmanuel," I sat up a little bit straighter. "How... How are you? How's the case?"

"We... I have my memories back," he explained immediately. "All of them."

I let out a shocked laugh and smiled, "That's amazing. Gosh... what do I ask first? Start with your name."

"Castiel," he replied.

I repeated the name, "I like it."

"I'm an angel," he continued. "That's why I'm able to do what I can."

"Wow," I mumbled. "That's... That's... I don't know how to feel about that one."

He chuckled through the phone, "I still love you."

"That's nice to hear," I chuckled. "I love you too."

"But I can't come back," he added. My heart and smile dropped. "What happened to Dean's brother... it's my fault. I've done awful things, (Y/n)."

I blinked away some tears, "Oh."

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay."

"I need to help him," he explained. "I need to be here to help him."

"That's okay," I repeated, a little louder.

There was a long pause, "Will I be able to come back? Or do you never wanna see me again?"

"Emman- Castiel," I corrected. "As long as I am alive and own this house, you will have a place here. I still love you. The door will be open for you when you're ready."

I heard a relieved sigh through the phone. I smiled.

"Goodbye, (Y/n)."

"Goodbye, Castiel," I replied as the tears finally started falling. "It was nice to finally meet you."

"You too."

I listened to the call end before I let a sob out. I placed my hand over my mouth. That was it. I got all the answers I wanted... and lost him in the same breath. What a cruel trick of fate.

--time skip (Season 9)--

I let out a groan when there was a knock on my door. I stormed over. I hadn't been able to get any work done that day, so I was ready to hit anyone that interrupted me the moment I got into work mode.

I yanked the door open, ready to snap at whoever was there.

"Hi," I froze.

"Castiel," I replied in a questioning tone.

He nodded, "I know I've been gone for a long time-"

I stepped forward and hugged him. He slowly wrapped his arms around me, hiding his face in the crook of my neck.

"I'm so sorry," he mumbled. "I shouldn't have abandoned you like that."

"It's okay," I hugged him a little tighter. "I'm just happy you're back."

I stepped back, taking a moment to study him.

"Come on," I grabbed his arm and dragged him inside. "Are you okay? Do you need anything?"

He shook his head. He placed his backpack on the floor and settled on the couch. I sat down next to him.

"What happened," I asked. "Why did you come back?"

"I needed a place to stay," he replied. "I tried to stay with Dean, but he turned me away."

I reached over and grabbed his hand.

"I'm not surprised," he muttered. "I messed up."

"That doesn't mean you should be abandoned," I said. "You... You still deserve to be helped, Castiel."

He gave me a forced grin.

"I'll help you see that," I muttered, pressing a kiss to his shoulder. "No matter what."

"I don't deserve your kindness."

"Yes, you do," I replied. "Thank you for coming back."

His grin was more genuine that time.

I hesitated for a moment before leaning over and pressing my lips to his. He kissed me back gently. I let out a sigh against his lips. I had missed him so much.

I was just so happy to have him back... no matter what condition he came back in.

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Masterlist (Includes links to All Writing Challenges)

What I Write For

Some Original Characters