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erodasfishtacos · 8 days ago

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Let's Be Alone Together - Trucker!H Prt II

prompt: harry doesnt understand why he asked her to travel with him, why he cares, or why he seems so drawn to a girl who cant stop apologizing and is too kind for her own good.

word count: 3.8k words

warnings: depression, suicidal ideation, lack of resources (food), childhood trauma - this is not a light-hearted read so use caution for yourselves!

author's note:

the first part was posted on tumblr here

there are currently eight more installments of this up on my patreon and still being posted

I upload a piece of writing every 1-2 days.

I recently started a second tier called The OG Tier where 2

one shots (1-4kish) are posted a week.

There are currently 350 + pieces available to read

Tier I - $3 USD where you get access to main stories, everything except the mini one shots.

Tier II - $5 USD where you get access to every piece of writing!

you can check it out here

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YN had laid back down in his bed after they had settled that she would go with him, that neither of them were attached to anyone else in any way, and all this was a bit of company - nothing more, nothing less.

Harry tried to keep his mind blank as he watched the road ahead of him.

It was a slippery slope that typically never led to happy thoughts when he lets himself be alone with them for too long at once.

They would creep in, like slow-cresting waves, and then hit him with the impact of a tsunami.

His body moved in practice, subconscious motions as he shifted gears with ease, flicking the windshield wipers up a notch because this weather was brutal and unrelenting.

Normally, Harry wasn’t concerned about such treacherous conditions where the roads were a sheet of white, snow flurrying rapidly and thick enough the clog the wind streams to make it nearly blinding.

He sickeningly enough enjoyed it because of the risk.

The higher possibility of death.

It was because what was the worst that could happen?

His truck could veer off the road.?

Hydroplane off the asphalt, hitting him into a guardrail, flipping it over until he’s falling down the steep embankment?

He would never want that to happen, only for Birdie’s sake, but if she wasn’t a factor then his answer would be different, most days.

Harry hated to admit that there were more days than not that he thought about how much he wouldn’t mind such a thing to happen to him.

His life had never been easy, it’s why he fled his home when he was sixteen, lied about his age, and had a rough-around-the-edges older man who had hired him for some odd jobs around his mechanics shop taught him everything he needed to know about driving a semi-truck.

And as soon as he could get his commercial license, he found a job that had him driving a truck from one end of the states to the other to deliver furniture from a custom brand out of Canada.

He didn’t mind the job, except for when he was granted his time off.

It was three weeks on, two off, and for people with families, children, it was rigorous schedule but they looked forward to having the extended time to relax at home before another three weeks took them away.

Harry didn’t know what to do with himself for that two weeks.

His bosses had looked at him like he was insane when he asked if he could just not take those two weeks off.

The first time, he came back to his hometown because he didn’t know where else to go, and it hadn’t ended well - he gave his mother too many chances and it resulted in him heading back out onto the road with twelve hundred less dollars in his wallet.

He never went back, left all of his belongings at his childhood home, changed his number so that his mother couldn’t get a hold of him, and cooped up in extended stay hotels wherever he landed for those two weeks.

Occasionally, he would meet a cute girl at the local bar or a waitress at the diner who he would spend a night with.

He really wasn't a one-night-stand guy or just a casual hookup either, but he sought out those women when the thoughts got dark, when the loneliness seemed overwhelming, and he really wasn't seeking out sex as much as he was comfort and intimacy even if just for a few hours.

He never felt enough of a connection with any of them to visit on his next off-time, even if he had promised it a few times to smooth over the hurt he had caused by crushing their hopes of a relationship.

His work paid for his meals during his weeks on, he stayed in cheap hotels, and didn’t spend money on anything except necessities that his company card didn’t cover which led to quite a hefty sum in his bank account.

Enough that he could purchase on his own semi-truck, used and beat to shit, breaking down every couple thousand miles and causing more financial burden than it was worth, but it helped him start his own business.

He had his own transport company now, just his truck and him, nothing fancy or overly complicated.

He could pick and choose his work, always picking the highest paid contracts, and it really made him successful.

Enough so that he could purchase a new, top-of-the-line semi which he reasoned was the best investment because not only was he purchasing his work truck but his home as he would be living out of it.

Ever since he started his own company, with no off time because he had contracts lined up to fulfill for the next year, and then some that never gave him a break - just like he wanted, no time to get too lost in his own miserable shit that he preferred to suppress.

No time off meant no life.

Harry hadn’t chatted anyone up at the bar, hell, he can’t remember the last time that he was even in one.

He can’t remember the last time he had sex either.

At some point, the company of a woman didn't quell those thoughts.

Sex workers knocked on his cabin door quite frequently, his flashy truck drew their attention with the hopes that he would be a generous tipper, but he always shooed them off.

He would be extra pissed if they woke him.

At some point between his first job and now, his depression had worsened to a deeper state than it had ever been in his life.

Life was a routine, monotonous and never-changing, miserable and defeating.

Harry convinced himself he didn’t need people, he only needed the open road and his dog, and that would be enough to suffice.

It was…

Somedays.

But other days (most of them), Harry found this sense of hopelessness, the weird in between where he wouldn’t do anything to end his life, but he wasn’t going to go kicking and screaming if it happened.

This world wasn’t made for him, he had told himself a long time ago.

It was destined to be a path of unhappiness from the moment he was born to the woman his mother was.

Happiness, prosperity, excitement towards life had never been an option when the woman who raised him rejected it all.

Harry couldn’t possibly start to consider his own behaviors of inviting this girl on a five-day trip with him around the country.

He was just being nice, is what he’ll tell himself because he’s fine being alone, really, he is.

It’s been this way for years; this was certainly just a blimp before his life becomes routine again.

Birdie is always sleeping in the passenger seat during the day.

It was weird to look to the side to see the seat empty, the expensive leather worn from the amount of time her lazy ass slept there.

However, Birdie was back with YN, tucked into her like they were the best of friends, and Harry never existed.

Traitor.

Acting as if Harry hadn't nursed her back to health when she was a puppy, too young to be away from her mother, and completely reliant on Harry to survive.

Could fool him.

Harry didn’t even want to acknowledge that Birdie has never taken to another person, ever, like she had with their visitor.

YN must have not slept well for weeks at this point, obvious by the dark circle under her eyes that had been covered with thick concealer when they’d first met.

YN didn't stir from his bed until nearly five in the evening, he had kept the blinds down, and the black-out curtains drawn so that no light was seeping in to disturb her as she slept, making up for lost time.

When YN finally does wake up, after using the bathroom, she pads up to the front of the cabin, and sits in the passenger seat, legs crossed and tucked under her as she glances out the windshield at the snowy mountains ahead of them.

Harry looks over at her, his eyes accidentally falling on her chest before they’re darting back up to her face - she wasn’t looking at him anyways but the henley she was wearing wasn’t the thickest and the pebbling of her nipples was obvious.

“Sleep alright?” Harry asks, eyes already back on the road, with this weather he didn’t have the luxury of not being vigilant.

“Yes, thank you,” YN replies as she curls her legs up, wrapping her arms around her knees, and resting her chin on her kneecaps.

Harry just nods, he’s not good at conversation, at one point he was but that was a skill he wasn’t familiar with anymore.

The extent of his communication was over the radio, letting other truckers know that they’re driving like assholes or the customers he had contracts with - that was really it.

They sit in silence for a few minutes, it’s comfortable for Harry but he can tell by the way that YN keeps looking over at him and then out the window, that it wasn’t the same for her as the only noise filtering in was the engine.

“Why don’t you have a home to go back to?” YN’s voice breaks the quiet, her voice is unsure because what were they supposed to being doing on this trip together?

Was YN supposed to keep him company by conversation since her purpose to come wasn’t sex.

Or did Harry just want the physical company?

Just a body in the seat, nothing more than that.

“Why don’t you?” Harry replies in a terse tone, it was defensive because he didn’t talk about his past, to anyone, fucking ever.

He felt emotion when he thought about what his home used to be.

It trudges up anger, helplessness, desperation.

All things that his depression helped him ignore.

He isn’t an open book, the most binded close, lock-protected type because he wasn’t going to share anything that made him vulnerable, weak, and the only thing that got him to the point was recalling what a shitty childhood he had.

Shitty was an understatement.

Harry feels instant regret for his choice of words when YN flinches at his response back, arms coming to wrap around her knees a bit tighter, and that has him cursing himself out in his mind.

He didn’t want YN to be scared of him, he could tell she was already a jumpy thing which most likely came with the required hypervigilance of the work that she does, and he doesn’t want her to have to feel that way with him.

“I’m sorry,” YN apologizes, a nervousness in her voice as she positions her body more towards the door, and away from him.

Fuck.

Harry doesn’t reply because he doesn’t know how to say ‘sorry’ without showing emotion.

As he never did before, vulnerability was his worst fear, and he was going to do anything and everything possible to never show it.

“I didn’t mean to snap at you,” Harry says instead, glancing over at her but she’s looking out the window, head now resting on the cold glass.

“It’s fine, I’m used to it,” YN dismisses easily, not turning to look back over at him.

And she didn’t say it in a way that she wanted sympathy or that anything like that.

Her voice was kind and forgiving, understanding which just shows how beat down she is.

Tired enough to just accept others' behaviors because that’s easier than fighting, accepting how people talked to her because she was so used to it that it didn’t seem like anything special when they did.

And God, that made Harry feel like absolute and utter shit.

He didn’t know YN, no, but he had a feeling that she really was a sweet girl under all the anxiousness and turmoil, and didn’t deserve that treatment from anyone.

Harry doesn’t want YN to feel like she has to get used to him treating her the same way that others have but they only have a few days together.

Why did this bother Harry so much when in the grand scheme of things, their time together was so limited that he shouldn’t care like he does, and he’ll continue to lie to himself - to chalk it up to a lame excuse.

Instead of apologizing, his voice is probably still too gruff when he responds, “You shouldn’t be used to shit like that. You need to stand up for yourself, not let people walk all over you. S’not right.”

YN picks at a loose thread of the pajamas pants she’s wearing, “I shouldn’t have asked, it’s my fault. I get why you said that.”

Harry hasn’t registered guilt as an emotion he’s had for a very long time, it hasn’t been a necessity, and it’s not YN’s fault that it's pounding inside his skull right now.

There’s something about how understanding she’s being, kind and giving him every opportunity to act like it never happened, and she deserves to be treated nicer - nicer than he was treating her too.

“S’not your fault,” Harry shakes his head, his fingers knuckling the steering wheel a bit harder because going from zero to a hundred of getting his feelings back wasn’t an easy thing to try to sift through - it was overwhelming, and he didn’t know why it was happening.

YN doesn’t say anything else, props her chin back on her knees after a while and watches the open road, her eyes trailing over the snow-capped mountain tops, to the wildlife they would occasionally see off in the plateaus.

Harry finds himself wanting to talk.

He wants to know more about her, but he can’t do that when he just shut her out.

“You can go nap again, if you want. It’s going to be at least another hour before we’ll stop,” Harry tries to keep his voice more friendly, but it just comes out flat, monotone, bored.

YN had been leaning down to scratch behind Birdie’s ear, lounging right at her feet on the floor, perpetually dozing off - “I won’t sleep tonight if I do. If I’m bothering you, I can go back there.”

She slips her feet out from underneath her, standing up with the intention to get out of Harry’s space.

“No, that’s-” Harry cuts off when he realizes he had wrapped his fingers around her wrist to stop her, light with no real intention to stop her actions.

They both look down but Harry’s dropping his hold on her, continuing where he left off without acknowledging the touch, “That’s not what I meant. I just know this can be boring. I didn’t want you to feel obligated to feel like you had to sit up here with me.”

YN doesn’t seem alarmed or angered by the touch, she didn’t try to rip from his hold or shake him off, her body language was as calm as it had been before.

It was a relief because Harry was starting to have a sense of anxiety that YN might be scared of him or intimidating, and he knew he came off…strong, unapproachable, unfriendly is just a few ways to describe him.

However, his intention is never to make her feel fear or concern about her safety around him.

His goal in these past twenty-four hours has become the exact opposite, an intense urge to protect her, even though he doesn’t know her or what she’s been through.

“I like sitting up here with you,” YN tells him shyly, her eyes darting away from him as she moves to sit back down in the passenger chair.

It had been a miracle that Birdie hadn’t snagged it in the short amount of time that YN had been out of it.

Harry’s chest warms at the admission, but he doesn’t let it show.

Of course he doesn’t.

Fuck, she’s pretty and Harry has to look back at the road because he could just stare, admire, and try to memorize her features because each time he gets a good look, he feels like he discovers something new about her.

He doesn’t say anything back, only leans over to turn up the heat a bit when he realizes that she has goosebumps on her arms, and she smiles to herself at that - almost like she doesn’t realize that she did.

And that anger floods in because all he did was turn the fucking heat up for her and apparently that gesture, that miniscule gesture, was enough to cause her to smile which make Harry wonder what the fuck she had gone through in her life.

Harry likes her smile, he thinks that he’d like to see it more often, and that thoughts are scary to him - all of this is more terrifying than it should be because his mind was becoming occupied with her.

So much so that he hadn’t thought much about his depression, his lowness, that dank place he tries to keep his mind out of at all today when normally it’s the only thing that is circulating in his mind.

Harry had been very spot on when he predicted that they would hit the next town in just a little of the hour.

He hadn’t eaten yet today and with a realization that he didn’t think that YN had either.

“Did you eat anything?” Harry asks with a frown, he knows that he startles YN a bit because they hadn’t spoken in that hour, and they probably would have if Harry had shut down the initial attempt at conversation, “At all today?”

“Not yet,” YN tells him as she sits up, stretching her arms above her head.

Harry knows to keep his eyes up because even out of his peripheral vision, he can see the flash of her smooth belly as the shirt rising just the slightest, and since when did he find his eyes wandering to that of any woman before?

It seemed that every inch of her body was of interest to him.

And even though that sounds bad, it truly wasn’t in a predatory or sexual way, it was more of an awe, admiration to how beautiful she was, and how perfectly she was crafted albeit much too skinny.

He can see the outline of her ribcage when she stretches, not enough fat on her bones to disguise them at all, her hip bones more prominent than they should be, and all of this a clear indication that she wasn’t eating enough.

And was Harry the person to talk to?

No, not really.

He was skinnier than he should be too.

Depression sucked the appetite from him, but he did enough to keep his muscles, even if his ribs are showing more than his abdominal muscles at this point but it was hard to have any motivation to care about his appearance that much.

“Aren’t you hungry?” Harry doesn’t mean for it to come out as accusatory as it did, he really needed to work on his tone.

YN pulls at the hem of her shirt, almost like she realized that Harry noticed how skin and bones she was under her clothes, “I am but I also learned how to cope with the hunger pains when I get them. I try to save my money to eat when it gets to that point, where it hurts.”

Harry doesn’t like that one fucking bit.

“You’re not going to do that bullshit when you’re with me, you got it?” Harry huffs, letting his irritation show and he doesn’t know how it translates - whether she gets that it is because it concerns him or that she thinks that he just finds her annoying.

It’s a tossup at this point.

“You’re going to eat when you’re hungry, no stomach pains, none of that shit,” Harry meets her eye, facial expressions firm to show that he means it.

“I’m sorry,” YN apologizes again, eyes wider and remorseful, “I’ll eat.”

Harry wishes he had the words to tell her not to apologize, to explain his behavior, and that it was all with good intent.

He wasn’t yelling at her, but he was concerned.

Instead of saying those things, he just grunts out, “Good.”

“Did you eat?” YN asks in return, not throwing it in his face but genuine concern in her words.

Harry holds up his coffee cup, “This is my fuel.”

“But…you have money to eat?”

The confusion knits her brow in a way that shouldn’t be as cute as it is.

“Yeah, m’just not hungry a lot of the times,” Harry shrugs, it’s not a lie.

YN’s lip twist at the side, thoughtful as she reties the knot of the pajama pants, too big and slipping down her hips, her voice quiet like if Harry hadn’t really been listening, he wouldn’t have heard it, and she probably wouldn’t have said it again.

“I really love McDonalds.”

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neonstahli · 10 months ago

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Alright, so to be as transparent as I can, yes we lost a pupper. It was hard, it financially drained us, and I felt awful to even ask for help because it felt like she was an excuse when she was never EVER a problem, I would've given my house or my left arm for that dog. Even so, we are in a financial hole with this, and my calling off work to spend a day with her made work graciously give me a 123 dollar check that I can do nothing with. I have to pay my gas bill and internet, the internet will be off soon and I don't really care much about that but it needs to be paid. We do need toiletries and since my check is already gone to an urgent bill, we need a bit of help with TP and such. All in all, this hole is only about 350 dollars deep. It is not that painful. But it is urgent as well, with it being the due date today for both.

Things will get better. I just need help again, I have overtime lined up 6 days a week until further notice, and I work 12 hour days so I'll basically no-life again in order to get my life back. Such is...life. Thanks for reading.

Paypal - Kofi - Venmo - Cashapp

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halalgirlmeg · 2 months ago

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🚨🚨🚨CONTRIBUTIONS NEEDED🚨🚨🚨

Hello everyone, I am still campaigning for Shimaa (@shimaa20sh) few contributions have been received but we still need to keep steadily going in order to get what is needed. It's Jummah/Friday, I know its a bi week for some, I know others may have gotten paid today so if you want to directly help a Palestinan family now is your chance. 5 dollars and 10 dollars are small amounts that can be shared to help this family. 25 and 50 are larger and much appreciated help as well. I know there's lots of campaigns everywhere but on the chance you can help here it is needed and your help is never a bad thing. @im-smart-i-swear is also offering commissions in exchange for your contributions. (Artwork pictured below) Last campaign it took a while to get things up and I really want to collect this one as quickly as possible and get to Shimaa and her family. Please also remember that currently her gf*m is frozen like many other accounts unfortunately so Pp is the primary method right now. Thank you for reading this far, please share. ❤❤❤❤

GOAL: 40/350

#art #commissions #art commisions #jummah mubarak #pink #cats #taylor swift

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fipindustries · 5 months ago

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a very tentative take because im not actually sure how economics work with regards to movie studios.

lets go back to this chart that i already shared a few days ago

it seems like 25% of their revenue comes from theatrical rentals and an 18% comes from home entertainment, that is to say, sales of physical media. i already presented my arguments for why i think those specific sources of revenue would more or less remain in a world where piracy is made legal and where streaming services wouldnt have to pay licenses to put movies on their catalogue.

so lets say a studio's budget is cut to 43% of what it used to be so that movies have to be made now with 43% of the budgets they used to have.

well a movie like, for example, avengers infinity war costs 350 million dollars to make, so the 40% of that is 140 million dollars. so now marvel would have to make movies with a measily 140 million dollars. you know, little experimental indie movies like mad max fury road (132 million adjusted for inflation) or The Matrix (119 million adjusted for inflation)

but maybe im being too generous, you know, what if investors want to keep their same returns? well then, what if we slashed the budget to a tiny 10% of what it used to be in order to compensate? we would still have some nice quaint little movies sure, but not the big ambitious overarching multiverse blockbusters that we have today, what movie of that caliber could you possibly make with less than 35 millon dollars????

which actually costed HALF of that. 16 million. so you know, movies could cost 95% less of what is done at the upper echelons of big blockbuster extravaganzas and still be *this good*. im not scared that studios having to cut costs will rob us of amazing transcendental experiences in movies.

#im open to be corrected on this #a lot of this is speculation based on some very rough estimates and back of the napkin math

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wingfril · 8 months ago

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My newest shipment just arrived so let’s talk about some (recent) lottery-only items! The picture above is from the most recent d.grayman playing card drawing, which you could’ve entered by subbing to zebrack comics.

They’re really pretty! I don’t know if it was worth $350 dollars though. There’s only 2 types of illustrations plus the card back and spades,

Funny thing about the prices — I’m pretty sure I’m the reason why the floor for this is 350 on mercari. When the drawing results come out, several people started selling the cards on mercari. I knew I wanted something that’s super exclusive like this, so I started paying attention. There were three sellers in particular competition against each other. over a span of around 2-3 days, the price dropped from ~100k yen down to 59k yen. Keep in mind that these drops were mostly happening while I was asleep being on the east coast. My ideal price would’ve been around 200 usd or ~30k yen, but I’m willing to pay more. Right before going to bed, I saw that the price has fallen to below 60k, and said screw it. Next morning, I woke up, and the main price competitor’s cards were also sold, and a few days later the third person, with a slightly higher price, also ended up selling. Since the price decreases happen primarily while I was asleep, and I knew that as soon as one sells, the other is going to get bought up too, might as well pay a little extra. I’m also 99% sure that at least 2/3 of the other sets on mercari was bought by chinese people, since I see their posts on chinese social media.

To be honest though, if I knew that there’s only two new drawings on these cards, I probably would’ve waited a bit longer before buying them. Oh well.

The other lottery item I had is from the vol 28 drawing.

They’re B5 sized manuscript replicas. They’re stunning — you can see so many details on these. Every stroke on neah/mana’s hair is clear as day. I’d like to frame them but *screams in nyc and paper walls*.

The other drawing item is a acrylic board of the vol 28 cover.

I’m still debating on buying that off of mercari. I think I will once the yen drops a little more, but we’ll see. I wouldn’t lose sleep over not getting it.

As a side note unrelated to dgm: the reason why I’m buying so much recently is 1. I realized that a few thousand literally makes no difference to me and my house owning goals (I LOVE NYC) and 2. The yen is incredibly cheap right now. Even though some Japanese collectors are price gauging, some of the items are not too much more expense than their originals price (there’s a few absurd outliers, which I’ll covered in two months… because I paid for some of the outliers and now they have to be shipped from China).

The Japanese fed has spent billions on trying to stabilize the currency, but to no avail. it’s really bad for any Japanese companies doing import, but it’s really really good for usd based consumers. As long as the US federal reserve and their interest rate remains high (and a bunch of other factors), yen is going to continue getting crushed against the dollar. There’s some items I’m eyeing on that I’ll probably only buy if the yen drops to at least 1:160 against the dollar. If you zoom into the last month of usd:yen, you can literally see when the Japanese fed intervened.

#d gray man #dgm #d. gray man #merchandise #merch

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mr3b · 14 days ago

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Deanna had always been considered an attractive woman. 5’ 9” (175cm) 140 lbs (66kg) she was also considered thick. Actually she had to work very hard to maintain just “thick” as her natural body tendencies and absolutely atrocious eating habits meant keeping her weight in check was difficult for her and took a lot of ongoing effort. All the food she ate were unhealthy and fattening. Fried food, appetizers coke nothing healthy in her diet. She ran on a cross-country team. I am sure her being a larger sized woman was what first attracted me to her to become my girlfriend although at the time I did not realize this fact.

From a young age she had actually participated in beauty pageants. Her parents enjoying the award dollars and scholarship benefits. She had what I consider, hot girl syndrome, where everyone men and women young and old let her get away with murder because she was so hot. To get into show shape she would absolutely quit eating, anything at all, for months on end. A very dangerous recipe for her metabolism. After starving herself down to show weight of 110 lbs she won the states Ms. Pageant. When she returned to eating within the next two months she quickly packed on 50 lbs. Dating me we realized that I was incredibly turned on by this event. As she fattened up I was absolutely aroused by her rapidly changing body and our sex life became even more & more vigorous. Deanna loved her shape and the ease of not having to constantly worry and work on her weight The Ms. pageant also noticed this development, and applied a lot of pressure and embarrassment for her to lose weight. Something snapped in Deanna’s brain, she gave in to her natural tendencies and hedonist desires. She realized that more than me found a larger woman desirable and it was easier to give in to her habits and stop the struggle to be thinner. She also got off on being fat and humiliated.

With this realization she absolutely ballooned in size. She was happily and quickly packing on the pounds and expanding rapidly. She out grew cloths on a monthly basis. She participated in the Ms. USA pageant at close to 220 lbs. She strapped herself into every shaping garment she could find, it did little to disguise her weight. She looked like a can of brisket dough popped open. Bursting the seams and straining out the material. When she showed me I striped her down for a frantic fuck. With her thick tree trunk thighs, fat ghetto booty and a very large rounded out, bulging gut of a tummy she did not do well in the competition. Her smile walking across stage was genuine because she knew it was not just me in the audience with a rock hard hard-on going on.

To console herself, my/our obsession with her body now or just her natural tendencies and desires for herself she had packed on another 130 lbs within the year. She was plumping up 10+lbs a month. Now at 350 lbs she embarked on a new career as a plus size model. Now the pressure was on, and she gladly gave into it, to gain and maintain a fattened quite plump physique. She enjoys her hedonist lifestyle, the money was good and there was no going back now. We no longer date but I remember our relationship fondly and we both discovered our hidden desires together as it happened She is well over the 400 Lbs (182kg) mark and is quite satisfied with herself and those that show her attention and appreciation.

You go/grow girl!

#weight gain #belly expansion #weight gain before after #growing belly #fat belly #huge inflation #inflated belly #making myself fatter for you #make me fatter #fattening myself #get me fatter #hedonism #hedonist #gaining weight on purpose #getting fat #getting fat for you

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tommyssupercoolblog · 5 months ago

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OMG OMG GUYS WE'RE GONNA GO SEE DAN AND PHIL'S TERRIBLE INFLUENCE TOUR

we're going to one of the October shows so it'll be awhile but i'm SO HYPE!!! I've had spoilers blocked for awhile so I have no idea what to expect (and want to keep it that way)!!! Dan and Phil is one of the things me and Seán both enjoy so i'm really really REALLY hyped

and of course being plural certainly helps with ticket prices ;0; and having the bestest mom ever. (thank u mom ily mom ur so cool mom)

I'm still saving up for dashcon though, don't worry- I didn't splurge my dashcon savings for this ;-; I would cry. So far i've got 176 dollars saved up but last time i checked ticket prices the plane was going to be 350, and it'll increase as the date gets closer; so I'll definitely have to keep saving. we've been putting in job apps though and we still have a year to try and get the money together. aaa i really hope I can make it!!!!

Anyways VERY EXCITED TO SEE DAN & PHIL IN THE REAL!!!

me and @septiccoffeefreak will straight up be going feral at the dan and phil tour and nothing can stop us

Also I just realized it makes no sense for his hat to be on backwards and him to have his hair up. Going insane. I spent like 2 hours on this.....oh well we stay silly

#i made a textpost #tommy's og art wow #undescribed

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scotianostra · 6 months ago

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On August 11th 1919 Andrew Carnegie, the Dunfermline-born steel industrialist and philanthropist, died. During the late 19th centuries, several entrepreneurs became famous due to their wealth and influence on society. Carnegie was mostly famous due to his reputation for philanthropy. When Andrew Carnegie died, they discovered a sheet of paper upon which he had written one of the major goals of his life: to spend the first half of his life accumulating money and to spend the last half of his life giving it all away. And he did! During the last 18 years of his life, he gave away around $350 million (roughly $6.5 billion in 2023), almost 90 percent of his fortune, to charities, I honestly can't see the likes of Bezos, Musk or Zuckerberg doing the same. I covered Carnegie's philanthropy in a previous post, this time I will take a look at his last will and testimony.

By the time of his death, Andrew Carnegie, despite his best efforts, had not been able to give away his entire fortune. He had distributed $350 million, but had $30 million left, which went into the Corporation’s endowment. Toward the end of his life, Carnegie, a pacifist, had a single goal: achieving world peace. He believed in the power of international laws and trusted that future conflicts could be averted through mediation. He supported the founding of the Peace Palace in The Hague in 1903, gave $10 million to found the Carnegie Endowment for International Peace in 1910 to “hasten the abolition of international war,” and worked ceaselessly for the cause until the outbreak of World War I. He died, still brokenhearted about the failure of his efforts, in August 1919, two months after the signing of the Treaty of Versailles.

I couldn't find out about his will in the US, except he left almost everything to his wife, Louise, and there only child, Margaret.

In Scotland Carnegie’s estate, saw each labourer on the payroll at Skibo who had served more than two years was given $50 (about £12.50 at the time – the average annual wage for an agricultural labourer was about £46) and those who had served five years got $100.

His estate in Scotland was modest compared to that in New York. His will was made up almost entirely up of lists of people who paid duties to him as a laird, with labourers getting payments connected to length of service and crofters being remitted two years’ rent if of good standing, with a third year’s rent paid to all crofters for improvements to their homes.

He also left money to friends and relatives in Scotland., a sum of five thousand dollars to his cousins in Dunfermline about $78,543.75, that's over $61,500 .

The inventory of his estate in Scotland was presented at Edinburgh on 21st October 1920. It was modest compared to that recorded in New York with a value of £67,541, 8 shillings (s) and 2 pence (d) which would be in the region of £1.96 million today (2023)

Back in the states, after his death his daughter eventually had to sell the family townhome because it was too expensive to maintain. But that was it—the rest of his immense wealth went to his charitable causes and endowments.

You might think that that would cause some resentment on the part of his heirs, but they apparently all agreed to the arrangement well before Carnegie passed away.

Apparently he wrote his own Eptaph, he wanted it to read, “A Man Who Knew How to Enlist in His Services Better Men Than Himself.” His wishes were not upheld, however—his gravesite includes a relatively simple Celtic cross bearing his name, birthplace, and lifespan.

To end with Carnegie's charitable foundations continue to comtribute tio good causes today, Through Carnegie Corporation of New York, the innovative philanthropic foundation he established in 1911, his fortune has since supported everything from the discovery of insulin and the dismantling of nuclear weapons, to the creation of Pell Grants and Sesame Street.

Barely anything is left of Andrew’s personal fortune, which was once valued on par with the oil tycoon Rockefellers and the banking Morgan family. The 13 fourth-generation members of Andrew Carnegie’s lineage now have the self-made wealth of white collar professionals. Their children and grandchildren make up a large fifth generation and a growing sixth.

Linda Thorell Hills, one of Andrew Carnegie’s great granddaughters, said her family has “lived conservatively and privately,” noting that it is easier to blend in since they are all descendants of his only daughter and none live with the Carnegie last name. Still, she said they’re emboldened by his legacy.

#scotland #scottish #history #steel magnate #philanthropist #fifer

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aloeverawrites · 1 year ago

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Hi all. So we're aware of what's going on in the world right now and how it's affecting children.

I know that it seems hopeless but there's always something we can do. Even helping just one person is massively important and that's within our reach.

So please if you can, help me fundraise $350 US for Save the Children.

$350 could "provide two families of five with basic food commodities for a month."

Just $10 could treat 5 children for pneumonia. $20 could provide two weeks of peanut paste to a malnourished child. $30 could give a child a safe place to recover for 5 weeks.

If just two of you donated $5 dollars you could make a massive difference to five children and potentially save lives.

There are other ways to help including reblogging to increase visibility.

Also since I know tumblr likes making people do challenges, I'm going to make one paper crane for every five dollars donated, which will be 70 cranes by the time we hopefully reach our goal. You can message me and choose the color of your cranes as well as a positive message for the inside.

Thanks for reading this and for caring. Let's get to $350❤️

#fundraising #human rights #children's rights #70 cranes for save the children #challenge #donations #charity #gaza #i/p #leftist #leftisim #also why do I start these things on vacation lol #in my hotel room folding like I've never folded before-

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lazarus-harp · 1 year ago

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okay, so. escape the night : the movie ... watched the video a little while ago and it's only fitting i share my brutally honest thoughts! they'll be put under a read more.

first thing's first, i did kinda see this coming. considering how tight lipped joey's been about calling it s5, i had a feeling it would be called something else which. viola! while it might not be a season whatsoever, i do think chronologically it'll take place after the events of all stars, which makes it the closest we're probably gonna get to a s5. there wasn't any talk of this being a 'spin-off' which is also worth noting.

ah okay so ... not gonna lie, i don't think it was a good move to lead fans on. maybe joey didn't see it like that! but that's kinda how it feels like. all those promos and teasers and everything etn twitter has said was entirely false -- since none of those clips are from the movie and was more so filmed for hype. i truly think joey should've just been honest from the jump instead of building anticipation, and letting people straight up believe we were getting a trailer or an episode today when there's not anything concrete filmed. i don't see how this was a good idea whatsoever! fans would've been eager to contribute even without all the false hype. if we've been around for more content despite the four year hiatus, we'd be willing to help out with a movie. honestly, this news would be way more exciting if fans hadn't been led into expecting something else. i just don't see why they thought this was the best course of action?

this might sound mean but i don't like the idea of fans having a say in the movie, like at all. i get it! it'd be fun, it'd show the community he cares and appreciates them, but to me fans getting involved in projects never ends well. it'd be one thing to have them appear on set, have their names be in the credits, but to actually have a hand in the casting and parts of the script? this does not bode well to me. while i talk obsessively about who i'd love for etn to bring back and how they should let me in the writer's room, this is usually a joke. i like seeing authentic projects! to see what the creators themselves come up with! and i've mostly loved what joey's done for the show so far. it just feels like this is such a dangerous position to give fans, who would've paid 350 dollars for this, because it can so quickly turn into a mess. on one hand, imagine you pay so much money to have a say in these things only to not get a single person in your dream cast into the final project? and on the other hand, imagine having someone who's paid you so much and then having them demand a pick that you're not really into but say yes to anyway. i would hope there's some clear boundaries in place and a mutual understanding, however i simply think this is better off not being a thing entirely. though i'll acknowledge this is partly due to my own distaste for a majority of old etn fan opinions and behavior. if i was gonna have anyone work on the movie there'd only be a select few i'd trust! i don't know, this feels like it's going to be such a wild card and not in the best way.

at least joey looks hot and handsome in his 1950s attire ... and him having a whole studious side to him was fun to see. but also? this man doesn't have a single thought in his head. he really was like “what's that mean? a box inside a box?” and kept acting confused when the obviously not human waitress turned out to be evil and weird. what did he expect?? he makes it seem like he knows he's in pandora's box ( says something like, “i'm trying to get home.” in the promo ) only to be shocked when evil things happen. i love you joey you stupid bitch <3

when the waitress asked if he was waiting for someone i was like MAT???? sorry i couldn't help myself i miss him so bad and i'm sure joey does too.

kinda got my hopes up thinking the new building he was in was the s1 estate but no ... it's the crimson manor apparently? which, also, might not be apart of the movie? so why are they selling merch of it? i digress, but um, i cannot believe we'd go back to another small location for this glance into what a movie could be like. this is pandora's box and you're telling me that all that's there is some manor and a diner? there better be more locations because we need to go big or go home. personally, i'm still attached to the idea of pandora's box opening for real and causing havoc in the real world -- forcing areas to be trapped in different time periods and such. it'd be a bigger scale thing while staying true to the foundations but what would i know? i'm not in the producer's circle ( thank god for us all ).

did enjoy joey's hand getting stabbed. i wasn't expecting it! and i would enjoy a movie purely because we'd see more of a maiming element rather than threat = instant death. we could get scars! i am quite fond of this idea to be honest. plus it's fun to see joey just react, instinctively, and be allowed to fight back. him picking up glass with his bare hands to attack the waitress? i like the idea ... it reminds me of when alex in s4 just started swinging on the egyptian men. give me more guests fighting back! give me more of them crawling across the floor and showing off their raw, survival instincts that are now so ingrained into them as people that they don't know who they are without it. it's fun!

i'll end it there for now, but full disclosure : i haven't eaten yet! so if this is a little everywhere i'm sorry. i knew if i didn't get my thoughts down asap i'd forget entirely and change my mind later, which is fine, but i wanted everyone to see my initial feelings. please note that none of this is said with malice! i love joey and etn and i'll still watch this movie when it comes out, maybe even donate to some degree, however all that love and respect doesn't negate my criticism or weariness. a movie could be really good! this could be exactly the newness the series needs. but my emotions are a little everywhere regardless.

#confessional - ( personal )#etn s5 spoilers #except not really but im using that for people who haven't seen the teaser yet #like idk! its so weird they'd announce this and have all this hype surrounding something thats not even done yet #much less been filmed at all #i am hopeful for the product we're getting but also it's just so. eh.#i just have a lot of mixed emotions ill have to let settle with time ... but until then ill respond to asks and keep going on like normal #for anyone who reads this thanks for ur time!! sorry if its incoherent adhskdks #oh and i havent seen what anyone else has said about it yet so i will look into that once this is posted 🫡 much love

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northwest-by-a-train · 1 year ago

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Mutual 1: I wish someone could kill me so I could be reincarnated as a saxophone solo in Al Stewart's 1991 song Year of the cat

Mutual 2: Horror keeps piling upon horror and we will live old and wrinkled in this time of horrors. The only cure is to post black and white pictures of men who have problems

Mutual 3: killing baby Caesar does lengthen the lifespan of the roman empire by ~350 years, as it dissolves into some sort of federalist-feudalist structure not unlike the Holy Roman Empire. The main difference is that a sort of loose syncretic pan-imperial polytheism is the dominant religion, leading to Icelandic temples of Isis and Ethiopian temples of Epona. As such, this timeline was spared the drawbacks of a centralized state-enforced organized religion. The main drawback is that being a furry is considered blasphemy by the vast majority of humanity.

Mutual 4: if Pendleton Ward does not make Mr Cupcake a Trotskyist I will set the cartoon network offices on fire

Mutual 5: if Serial Experiments Lain was made today they would make her cis. Well. Not on my watch

Mutual 6: Can we take a minute here and normalize arms trading? Marginalized communities need those 3D-printed untraceable ghost guns with Family Guy muzzles, I need to make a living since I was thrown out of the commune by Hannah-Arendts-Strap (message me for details), Seth MacFarlane needs people to watch season 27. But Academia will talk about Kant's white-ass categorical imperative to argue no one should sell guns. Typical.

Mutual 7: I am in your walls. Why is there lead paint on your radium plumbing my dude. You know that's not aryuvedic.

Mutual 8: I'm sorry but Robespierre was a scapegoat of most of the French revolution's atrocities, and bourgeois reactionary elements have tried to turn him into a proto-totalitarian crazed madman, but the historical record paints a much more complex picture. Which is why I don't believe he would ever whip Danton's ass like you just wrote. He would be the one wearing the ball gag. How can I make you see the truth my brother ?

Mutual 9: Arabic and Eastern European poetry have been superior throughout the late 20th/early 21st century. We also have the best cigarettes. If we keep going we can surround Constantinople in the next decade, and restore the Palaiologos to their rightful place.

Mutual 10: The callout posts are true. Reflecting on it, it was obvious that our attempt to create a secret #LiberateBelize discord channel without British people was chavphobic. We are listening and learning.

Mutual 11: Pinkie Pie could negotiate the Oslo Accords, but Bill Clinton could never bag pony Weird Al

Mutual 12: If I think about Betty Groff for more than two seconds I'll divorce my husband. I got the papers and everything. But I won't. I'm brave like that. #ChristianLove

Mutual 13:

Mutual 14: I was visited by the virgin Mary last night. Again. She told me I can't make my girlfriend pregnant like that. Again. But I know Ron L. Hubbard is with me, and it's all that matters.

Mutual 15: Mustard gas doesn't even taste like mustard. You guys lied to me. My Mac & Cheese is ruined.

Mutual 16: Stop saying my think tank advocates killing orphans. We're pro-harvesting organs in youth correctional facilities for reduced sentences !!! But again we see the pro-carceral bias inherent to Lutherans. Have you guys even read Angela Davis ?

Mutual 17: Here's my solution to the Israel-Palestine conflict: spend a hundred billion dollars for multiversal research, reach the mirror universe. Israelis get the biblical kingdom of Israel borders on this earth, Palestinians get the 1948 borders in the mirror universe. I think this is the fairest deal America can offer at this time.

Mutual 18: I tried to live the life of a restless European adventurer in Macau playing roulette and serving as a mercenary to various conglomerates. Turns out they also charge rent there. And income is taxable too. And I bet everything on Red. And I don't speak Mandarin, Cantonese or Portuguese. Help me pay for my flight home! 6¢/50 000$ collected!

Mutual 19: Yeah the canonization of Bolaño as the latest LatAm literary genius speaks to a sort of general malaise in post-colonial literature due to the collapse of magical realism as a viable tradition for meaningful political messaging. So the literature of unease and obsession and maladjustment itself is canonized, like an oyster canonizing the grain of sand that's tearing it apart. The fact that no other major voice has really appeared on the continent within the past 20 years should tell us this isn't working. Which is why the Brazilian JoJo fandom has a unique opportunity to meaningfully impact the course of world literature. #Multipolarity

Mutual 20: wow guys someone left a tray of perfectly good Mac & Cheese on a windowsill! Yummy!

Mutual 21: Did medieval surgeons pulling teeth get erections? I wouldn't normally ask this of my followers but I'm arguing about Sex Work with the ghost of Andrea Dworkin and I need hard evidence (no pun intended lol)

Mutual 22: Electro-Swing is a Belgian psy-op. I can't prove it, but I know it

Mutual 23: I'm the first neutered catgirl to be tried in a military court. But I know I'm not the last.

Mutual 24: Did you guys know you could eat olives? The thing they make oil from? I ordered three kilos of motors, so I can eat it with my roommate's Mac & Cheese

Mutual 25: Anglicans, amirite ? [Sounds of raucous applause]

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