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maple-the-awesome · 1 year ago

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He Becomes a Dad! || Part 1/2

PART 2

Pairing: Time, Four, Legend, Hyrule x Reader

Overview: Congratulations, you're new parents 🎉 Some of the Links are prepared. Others...might need a moment to gather themselves. But rest assured! At the end of the day, they're all going to get a handle on this whole dad thing. I'm a sucker for family tropes and there simply aren't enough out there for the Chain to quench my thirst, so here it is, I'm adding my contribution👍 Btw, there will be only two parts for this prompt since Wind will be excluded for obvious reasons. Baby making isn't a platonic activity🤷‍♀️

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You only brought the topic of children up to your husband once. It was at some point during the early half of your marriage and after a particularly lengthy day of enduring Malon’s well-meant pestering. Time, beside being caught slightly off guard, delivered a straightforward answer:

“It wouldn’t feel right bringing kids into this world, especially when I would hardly be home to help you rear them.”

Now, you can’t lie and say you weren’t at all disappointed by this answer, although you wouldn’t say you had the rug completely pulled from beneath you. You understood the true implications behind Time’s statement right away. It’s the same reason he took so long to let himself marry you. It’s not you nor a disgust towards children, but rather an unspoken fear of building a life where he’s too happy - one that could be ripped away from him at a moment’s notice as has seemed to be the case for his younger years.

Although his worries are needless, you never pushed against his boundaries because you could at least see the sense in his argument. Sure, the idea of having children did always appeal to you deep down, however between Time’s constant traveling and your hard work helping at Lon Lon Ranch, it would be difficult to squeeze a family into the schedule. There was no sense in forcing him into a commitment he wasn’t ready for nor one you weren’t in a position to properly foster.

Twelve years of blissful marriage passed before your plans changed. The blame lies with those other heroes, too. One would think traveling alongside a group of unruly young boys would’ve made someone more certain of their decision to never again subject themselves to such a headache, yet it apparently had the opposite effect on your dear husband.

Discovering first hand how much pride he could feel towards a descendant was life-altering, to put it light. Twilight was living proof that somewhere along the line, Time does something right. Whatever kids he might have will grow up to have children of their own and so on…Not to mention Twilight isn’t a terrible outcome by any means. To raise someone with the possibility of them turning out like him and to do so with you of all people? Well, needless to say, it was settled rather quickly after that: Time wanted kids.

Call it baby-fever if you will, but he was suddenly rather eager about the concept he had once avoided like the plague. He brought it up through not-so-subtly hints at first, then when you outright asked him if he was being serious, he went on a slightly nervous spew about your home being too quiet and how he could officially retire from traveling to be home more and it’s really a shame that you have an extra bedroom just sitting around - You just had to kiss him to shut him up which eventually led to…other things. Let’s just say you both got started right away.

It took you twelve years to realize you did indeed want kids yet less than a year to actually be holding them for the first time. It turns out even the universe was impatiently waiting for you both to come to your senses, so once you finally had, it decided to award you with not one, but two beautiful girls whom you affectionately named Saria after Time’s old friend and Mallory, a mix between melody and Malon, their ever-so-excited godmother.

It’s safe to say that the twins are pretty spoiled. Malon has been over almost everyday, bringing you plenty of baked goods as a bribe to let her spend more time with her favorite goddaughters and you have practically every baby related item that you could need, courtesy of the Queen of Hyrule herself, but of course, it’s their parents who love them the most.

Never in his wildest dreams did Time think it would be possible to feel so at peace with the life he’s built. For so many years, he feared true happiness was impossible - that every turn would result in the same cruel fate he had been subjected to during most of his existence - and yet for the last couple of nights, he’s held it in his arms. He’s watched the moon rise outside his window while playing soft lullabies on his ocarina, you cuddled by his side with your daughters shared between you both. You wear a small smile even in sleep and he swears the girls match it, too; he definitely does himself…This is a priceless treasure he’ll give his life to protect.

Four and you had already been married for a few years by the time you found out you’re pregnant. It’s not to say you were actively planning for it, although you also weren’t actively trying not to either.

It had been agreed upon early in your relationship that kids would be nice should they come your way, therefore you were both equally excited that your wishes were finally being granted, so much so that the nursery was finished within the first month (courtesy of your handy husband). It’s painted in beautiful pastels that are easy on the eyes and decorated with many toys Four had hand-carved himself; a useful craft he’s now very appreciative towards Sky for teaching him.

Seeing as this was already a somewhat anticipated next step in your lives, Four’s pretty relaxed throughout the process despite its many challenges. For starters, pregnancy itself unfortunately isn't as much of a 'blessing' for you as some have made it sound. You’re rather sick from beginning to end. If it isn't your inability to keep food down (especially in the early stages) or your fluctuating blood pressure, then it’s the aching you constantly feel thanks to both your very heavy bump and extremely active baby who just loves to make sure you never forgot about their existence by kicking you as hard as possible day and night.

Worry not. Four has made your struggles more bearable by being a darling husband through and through. He’s by your side during each doctor’s visit, does his own personal research on all things baby-related, and helps with every chore he can to give you at least some rest even if just for a quick nap, however most spectacularly, he does all of this without ever being too overbearing.

Although certainly concerned for your health, Four can recognize your strength any day of the week, especially when you've been rolling with the punches like a warrior queen during such a draining pregnancy. Anxious, sure, but not afraid. Why would he be? He’s confident that you’re both prepared to face anything together! …That is, until you actually went into labor…

Yeah, remember that previously mentioned, relaxed and darling husband? Forget about him. Your water broke and so did Four's calm demeanor, but can he really be blamed? You went into labor early - and not just by a couple of days either. Oh no, we're talking a couple of weeks early.

Regardless of his newfound fear, Four does his utmost best to still present himself as calm and collected in front of you, not wanting to freak you out any more than you’re already freaking out yourself. He first helped you lay down with plenty of pillows and cushions before running to get help. After that, he doesn’t leave your side, encouraging you throughout the process with a smile on his face, however don’t be fooled: the second you turn your head to the midwife’s voice or close your eyes to scream, your poor husband’s face reflects his inner thoughts as the situation fully begins to sink in. 'Scared shitless' - that's a good word to describe it; eyes wide in terror with a mouth that’s hung agape and slightly twisted in pain as your nails clawed into his hand.

As said, he never leaves your side - not even for a millisecond. You don’t have to worry about him being the type of guy to get grossed out by natural fluids or complain about your expressions of pain; none of that is remotely a concern of his. He’s just grateful to see you okay and even more so to hear his baby crying as they should.

A girl; small like her daddy, but healthy all things considered. Four couldn't wait to hold her, knowing damn well he was going to cry the second her soft skin touched his, but he isn’t ashamed of it in the slightest. Who wouldn’t cry holding something so precious?

Then you scream again. He thinks something must be wrong until the midwife announces that it isn’t over - that there are more squeezed in there waiting.

At the end of the day, you're just relieved to finally breathe easy without going through agonizing pain while Four, on the other hand, is left in shock staring at not one, not two, but three little babies, all healthy girls who wiggle and whimper in their parents' arms, but oh well. The nursery may have to be expanded, although there's plenty of love to go around. At least he can thank Hylia that it wasn’t quads (he's had enough of those).

Legend and you have been in a relationship for several years, although you had mutually agreed earlier on that neither of you were big fans of the whole 'marriage' thing. What difference would a ceremony and piece of paper make, anyway? You already act as any officially married couple would. You live together, go on dates, occasionally argue, and even share a bed which is exactly what resulted in a recent, unplanned detour in your lives: a baby.

When you first told Legend the news, he panicked, asking himself all those stupid questions like ‘what now’ and ‘how could this have happened’ even though he knew damn well how. Then he left. Giving some half-assed excuse about needing fresh air, he turned his back to you despite your pleas and didn’t return for hours.

Now, rest assured, he did immediately regret having that reaction and apologized for it as soon as he came home. He didn’t mean to scare you with the thought of abandonment, but as he would quietly confess during his apology, the thought of being a parent had just been too overwhelming in the moment. Neither of you had ever talked about having kids, and while he could at least have some peace of mind knowing you’ll obviously be a great mom, he fears that the same won’t be applied to him.

You have always been the light in a dim room, as Legend would put it. You’re fun, sweet, and amazing with kids. Any child of yours, planned or not, will love you with all of their heart exactly as he does. Meanwhile he’s stubborn, cranky, and the last kid to cross his path literally started sobbing. Maybe it had to do with him being covered in monster blood after just having crawled out of a dungeon but he’s pretty sure he traumatized a kid nonetheless…The thought of being just as bad around any kid you share together scares the crap out of him.

Deep, deep down, Legend’s actually somewhat excited to be a father. Although he’s too stubborn to admit it to anyone other than you, he’ll sometimes daydream about how nice it would be to tell a little replica of you both about all his adventures or to teach them how to use some of the items he’s collected over the years like his trusty boomerang. Seeing the excitement in their eyes would definitely be worth listening to you scold him afterwards. If that’s all there was to being a father, Legend wouldn’t have a single concern, yet it’s his insecurities that always have a habit of souring things. Would his kid actually find his stories cool or would they just be tempted to throw the boomerang right at his head?

You’ve done your best to reassure him, often falling back on the argument that the baby will be a part of him. Like father, like son, right? Legend was almost ready to believe you, too, especially upon laying eyes on his child for the first time. As you passed the tiny bundle over to him, he thought that maybe being a dad wasn’t going to be that scary after all, and it might not be so bad to even have more someday either…However, his worries were quick to return when the baby started screaming two seconds after being set into his arms…

Baby screams if he holds him. Baby whimpers if he looks at him for too long. Sometimes, Legend swears the thing starts crying simply by hearing his voice in another room. It doesn’t happen with anyone else, though. The baby just adores you as predicted, but what Legend can’t stand is the fact that the baby seems to like Ravio, of all annoyances, over his own dad.

He’s forced to watch as the little brat happily lets Ravio cradle him, the sight filling him with bitter jealousy and sorrow. You’re convinced that he’s just overthinking everything - that he should give himself time to adjust to his new position as a father instead of holding himself to unrealistic standards, but how long is he exactly supposed to wait until it clicks? It’s been a whole month already and he still feels as confused as day one! Will he ever get the hang of this whole dad-thing or is he a lost cause…?

If there’s any comfort Legend can have, it’s that even Ravio doesn’t know what to do with the baby once he starts crying, so at least he’s not alone in that aspect. The only problem is you’re busy making lunch and stubbornly refuse to pause your efforts. Instead, you shove a bottle over to Legend, insisting that he be the one to feed his son since it should be a ‘good bonding exercise’ for them. You won’t take ‘no’ for an answer and judging on your glare when he tries to protest, you probably wouldn’t be happy if he tries passing the task onto Ravio either.

Thus, Legend is left to awkwardly sit down and take the baby into his arms. He already knows it’s obvious he has no idea what he’s doing, Ravio doesn’t have to point it out, but luckily after some swift around, he manages to hold his son more securely against his chest before shoving the bottle in his face. The baby continues to fuss while turning his head away from the bottle, and Legend’s almost tempted to call for you in defeat until at last, the room falls silent.

Looking down, he watches in quiet awe as his son accepts his meal eagerly. His little hands quickly rise up, gripping onto Legend’s which holds the bottle in place. They’re so tiny; barely able to wrap around a single finger - Oh, and his eyes as well! They’re wide as he stares up at his dad with unbroken eye contact. It’s like a wordless conversation - one more valuable than any he’s heard before.

You return, offering to take your son now that your work is done, but Legend is quick to shake his head. Why don’t you take a well-deserved break while he handles this little troublemaker? It would be a shame to bother him when he looks so comfortable in daddy’s arms.

You've been dating Hyrule for longer than either of you can really remember, however you aren’t in any big rush to get married, figuring that it would make no real difference in your commitment to each other. You love Hyrule and he loves you. What more is there to say? For a while there, you were both perfectly satisfied with simply taking things slow and letting fate decide your course, although more recently you’ve had to switch up that method to something more stable for the baby. Yes, a baby.

You wouldn’t necessarily call it a surprise, but you also can’t truthfully say it was planned either. You had agreed that kids might be nice if the goddesses ever blessed you with any in the future, however you weren’t exactly trying for them…You just weren’t being very careful…

Hyrule must admit he was rather nervous at the start. The only prior experience he really had around kids was with Wind, but there’s a pretty big difference between a young teen and newborn. Pair that with his not so ‘kid-friendly’ world and there’s plenty to worry over. Anything could happen, but Hyrule’s determined to be the best dad and partner he can.

First thing was first, of course: you needed a place to stay. Traveling is fun and you both enjoy being on the move, but that’s no life for a baby. Hyrule and you had actually already considered the idea of settling down someplace before, so you didn’t think of it as a massive loss to take off your adventure boots for a while. If anything, it was a welcomed change once you remembered how lovely it is to be able to kick your feet up for a rest or be surrounded by warmth during a terrible rainstorm.

Again, Hyrule takes his job as your partner very seriously which wasn’t ever a surprise to you. He found a small house for you both to rent in one of the safer villages around; a perfect place for raising a child. While he might not have a talent for decorating or making a place feel ‘homey’, he does thrive when it comes to making sure you’re comfortable, his spare rupees definitely going to fluffy wool blankets and a rickety rocking chair that he saw at a market.

Early on in the pregnancy, you noticed that your boyfriend also began showing a new found determination for cooking which did scare you a bit at first - Okay, so maybe a lot. Hyrule began taking cooking lessons from some kind elderly ladies in town who must have an endless pool of patience because while you can’t say every dish is a masterpiece (or even editable for that matter), you are happy to say Hyrule can now make things like toast and tomato soup successfully. It’s progress.

There aren’t a ton of doctors in your time and none in your village, so you have to take a lot of notes from local women regarding the process. Hearing all their stories and the possible ‘what if’s for what could go wrong made you anxious, especially once you finally go into labor, but it doesn’t faze Hyrule - not on the outside, anyway. He does an excellent job of swallowing his own fears for your peace of mind, talking you through each painful contraction and doing his best to distract you from it all until it comes time to start pushing.

Some people may get squeamish at the thought of childbirth, however Hyrule isn’t one of them. He’s fought through some terrifying dungeons and has bore witness to more than a few gory injuries over the years, so bodily fluids don’t bother him one bit. He’s kneeled down right in front of you without a second’s hesitation, multitasking between mentally reviewing what he’s been told to do and reassuring you even though he’s sure you don’t hear a word of it over your own screams.

One minute Hyrule’s encouraging you to keep pushing, the next he’s holding a small, crying baby in his arms. His movements after that feel almost automatic as he carefully cleans her off and just admires the fact that this baby - this tiny, precious gift of life is his. She’s yours and his and she’s beautiful despite having come into existence within such a broken world filled with more hardships than he could count…

Your tired voice brings him back to reality - asking if the baby you hear crying is okay. You clearly feel the same thing Hyrule does upon seeing your daughter for the first time, the two of you sitting side-by-side as you soak in this wonderful emotion. Hope...That’s what she represents. Hope for a brighter future...

#x reader #reader insert #linked universe x reader #link x reader #linked universe #lu time x reader #lu chain #lu legend x reader #lu four x reader #lu hyrule x reader #legend of zelda #legend of zelda x reader

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just-some-random-blogger · 10 months ago

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Edge Of Ever After | 2

Part 1 2 3

Sandor runs his fingers down my spine and sighs, "everything I ever touch goes to shit." He grabs my hip and pulls me close. I turn to him and nestle my face into his chest. He traps me in his arms, "but you... you turn my shit into gold."

Sandor Clegane x Reader | 6k+ | cw: fem!reader, wife!reader, POV shifts!, mentions/depictions of pregnancy/miscarriage/mensuration/the likes, enemies to lovers, remnants of forced marriage, slow burn, angst, emotional unavailability, emotional vulnerability, The Hound being abrasive, miscommunication, fluff, typos, etc.

A/N: about time i posted the next part here on tumblr this is originally posted on ao3

I gag as I watch maester Yannick swirl around a flask of my urine by the window. He holds it by the light and I have to look away as he inspects it.

"I wouldn't hold my breath, maester," I mutter as the man heads towards his desk.

"Of course not. You're doing it for me," he says as he places the sample down and scribbles on parchment, "now. Any cravings, besides the obvious strawberry pie one."

I suck in a deep breath before sighing, "no. None at all."

Maester Yannick turns to me and squints, "any physical symptoms? Mood swings? Sore breasts?"

I lightly clear my throat and shake my head, "none."

He turns back to his journal and writes something. He takes a moment before asking, "when was the last time you coupled?"

I wipe my face and buzz my lips, "...10 days?"

He chuckles, "well that explains it."

"E-... Explains what?"

"Why he's so much of a hound lately," he closes his journal with a thud, "nasty temper that one-- but what do you expect from a man who drinks wine like water?"

I lick my lips and pick at my nails.

"Pah, don't worry," he waves me off, "you married a grump. He was grumpier before," he raises a brow, "and I didn't have to be there to know it."

Maester Yannick walks over to me, grabs my shoulders and nods, "now. My learned self deduces you are probably in the early stages of childbearing." He raises a finger, "that being said, you have had issues with your moon cycle before."

The old man releases me, only to push me towards the door. I look at him in panic as he seems not to want to continue what he was going to say.

"My dear," he opens the door, "my advice is to simply wait."

"Wait?!" I pull away from him to face him, "what does that mean?"

"It means just go about your day. Don't think about this because we cannot be certain of a consensus. Go to the festival in the town. Bring your dogs. Bring your husband," he motions to the open door, "make merry. It's good for your health, and for whatever life you could possibly - if the gods will it - be carrying."

Maester Yannick effectively kicks me out of his office after that.

He was horrible with that news, and rather vague. I don't know if I should cry, be angry, or be sad. Or happy? Should I be happy? Well... I don't know what I am.

I find myself recounting everything our maester told me as I walk down the hallway. When I make my way to the living area, I am greeted by 3 cold snouts of 3 pups that were getting too big to be called that in my opinion.

I smile at them and head towards the settee. I sit down and grab the ball I left there, throwing the thing into the hall, watching the dog siblings clamour after it. I continue to do this and only stop whenever there's someone passing by.

At some point, in my absentmindedness, I throw the ball too hard and it hits the end of the hall, bouncing off into the other. I watch the dogs chase after it and sequentially have to chase after them.

Seeings as the pups were great retrievers, I was expecting them to meet me halfway in the hall as I followed. When they don't, I call out to them with concern.

"Go on," a gruff voice says, "your mam's calling you lot."

I reach the end of the hall and see Sandor shooing away the three beasts by the door to his office. I smile at him as he growls to intimidate them; the dogs only bark back and wag their tails.

"Let the poor man go," I say as I walk over.

Sandor looks up at me. I chuckle as I watch his annoyed expression soften.

He purses his lips and steps forward, "they don't listen to me."

"They do," I cross my arms, "they just want to play.'

"Then they clearly don't listen to me," he corrects.

I shrug, "they do."

He rolls his eyes and places a hand on his hips, "did you want to go to the festival? The townsfolk have been fucking yapping to me about it. They want to see you."

I tighten my arms around me as I think about what Yannick said again.

Sandor's eyes dart down, landing on my chest. His nose twitches and he clears his throat as he looks away.

"I want to go but I..." I hesitate.

It catches Sandor's attention and makes him look back at me.

"I have something to tell you."

His brows furrow, "what is it?"

Lilac begins to bark loudly. It makes both of us turn to her and shush her out of instinct. She barks some more just to drive her point then shakes her floppy ears.

Sandor, finally having enough, picks up Lilac, and she immediately stops barking. He makes a face at the dog as she lolls her tongue out, clearly happy to be finally be carried.

I giggle and pet her head, "such a pampered princess."

The Hound side eyes her.

It's not long until Rose and Sage are barking up their protests. The Hound has no choice but to carry three pups in his arms.

I chuckle as I watch Sage make a fuss, like always. He liked having his front paws on Sandor's shoulder, and so he fussed until he got what he wanted. Sandor cradled the two girls in his arms.

"You were saying?" mutters my husband, pretending to be more annoyed than he actually was.

I frown, "they don't like it when I carry them."

"You can't carry them," he adjusts his hold, "not all at once."

I huff and pet Rose on the head. She leans into my touch.

"Well?"

I look at Sandor, "hmm?"

"You have something to tell me," he repeats.

I weigh the options in my head. I decide on what to say and stop petting Rose in lieu of petting Lilac. I suck in a breath, "I want to buy a melon."

He knits his brows, "what?"

I stroke Sage on the back and he turns around only to look away a second later, "I want to buy a melon. At the festival."

"That's it?"

I nod and lie, "that's it."

He half shrugs, "then we'll get a melon. Why'd you say it like you meant to say you don't want to go with me?"

"I do!"

"You don't want to go-"

"I WANT TO GO WITH YOU!"

He presses his lips together. He is unable to hold back his chuckle but then wipes off his grin, and shrugs, "so? What's the problem?"

"It's just..." I think of an excuse to cover up my lie, "I feel bad that you carried that pumpkin all the way here from the market."

Sandor raises his brows. He looks disgusted. His lips twitch, "I carried a cow once, you know that?"

I blink at his words and debate its truth.

"Look," he rocks the pups in his hands, "three fucking wee cows right now."

I break into a laugh.

He looks like he's about to set the pups down but he stops himself when he sees how they look like they're about to doze off. He sighs, "we're not bringing these mutts."

He grumbles all the way to their dog bed where he gently puts them down.

I babble about why I wanted a melon to Sandor all the way to the festival to continue making my agitation over what I really wanted to tell him subside. We decided to walk because I said I wanted to pick flowers on the way, even though the truth was... I wanted the travel to the festival to be longer.

The festival was a harvest event where the folks celebrated their crops. They held some contests for their livestock and their plants, and they also did pantomime and jigs. At least that's what I could remember from the little memory I had of it as a child.

"Oh, look!" I point to a flower, "that looks beautiful."

Sandor sighs as I rush towards a large flower. He shakes his head and places his hands on his hips as he follows after me, "love, at this point, we're not going to get to the festival. You keep heading the other way."

I pluck the flower and bring it into the small bouquet I had in my hand. I looked at my arrangement and decided it was too... yellow for it.

I shake my head and walk towards Sandor, "too yellow."

He looks down as I hand it to him. He raises his brows, "what do you want me to do?" He takes the flower and makes a face, "paint it?"

"Mmmmmm.... maybe you can-"

A scream of terror cuts me off.

My heart drops and immediately, Sandor pulls me behind him. He places his hand on his scabbard, glad to never leave the house without steel.

There is a rustle by the foliage.

He says over his shoulder, "step back."

I do so without question.

It doesn't take long until there's a running sound getting closer. Quickly, a woman, ragged and panting, emerges from behind the trees.

"HELP!"

Sandor is on his guard.

She was being pursued by a woodland monster. I was mortified to see it and was ready to run back home.

Sandor chuckles when he sees how tiny it was. He screams to taunt the beast and draws it away from me and the woman. Sure enough, the thing begins to head towards him and, in truth, I'm a bit concerned by how easily he killed it and how... happy he looked to do so.

Sandor sheathes his sword without wiping it off and head towards me. He looks at me with concern, "are you alright?"

I stare at him, wondering about the damage killing so many monsters was doing to him.

Sandor looks to the ground and picks something up. He takes my hand and I look down to see him placing the flowers I picked back into my hold. I hadn't even realized I dropped them. It was at this moment I was snapped back into reality. There was a woman being chased just a few seconds ago.

I turn and see the said person, clutching her chest as she caught her breath. I walk towards her, "are you hurt?"

Sandor makes sure to keep me behind him as we approach her.

She gasps for air twice before turning to me to shake her head, "no..." she pants, "but I am thirsty."

I turn to Sandor, who looks at me for a few seconds then her. He tilts his head, "why were you in the woods?"

"Sandor," I scold for not immediately offering to give her water.

"I was trying to forage food," she sighs, "I thought it was safe enough to do that now. Clearly I was wrong "

I nudge Sandor on the rib. He sighs, "you want some water?"

She nods quickly.

He looks at me and I smile at him. I turn to the woman, "my husband and I would be glad to give you some."

She sighs in relief, "thank you."

Sandor did not once take his eyes off the woman, not even when I nudged him with my elbow for glaring.

Lorena was her name. I sat next to her on our bench in our front yard, watching as she finished an entire ewer of water.

She sets her cup down on the space between us with a sigh. I smile at her when she turns to me. She wipes her lips on her sleeve, "thank you kindly, lady."

"You're welcome."

"Alright, you had your drink," Sandor says, "time to go."

I make a face as Sandor comes to Lorena's side, "Sandor."

Lorena stands up, "may I say one thing before I go, Lady Clegane."

My forehead wrinkles. I stand as well, "of course. And pay no mind to my husband. You may stay to catch your breath if you'd like."

The Hound scoffs, "then she'll ask for a meal, and a place to stay."

I nearly roll my eyes but decide to cover my annoyance with a smile.

Lorena gives me a solemn expression, "may I speak freely?"

For a second, I wonder why she had to preface with this, but I disregard the thought and nod, "of course."

"You have a monster with you, large and viscous."

My expression drops. I part my lips, "... I beg your pardon?"

Lorena turns to Sandor. I am flabbergasted by her offensive insinuation

My eyes dart between the two. My husband seems wholely unfazed by the horrendous accusation, which makes it all the more unbearable for me. I do not get the opportunity to speak however.

"Your endeavor to purge the forest is futile, so long as she lives like this," Lorena tells Sandor.

I chuckle dryly, "I BEG your pardon?!"

She turns to me and knits her brows. She looks worried and shakes her head, "you must get cleansed by a spellcaster who has the same or more power than the one who cursed your family, Lady Clegane."

I freeze at her words. My brows knit. I blink rapidly, stunned by what she was saying now.

Sandor narrows his eyes, "what curse?"

Lorena turns back to Sandor, as if in disbelief of his question. Regardless, she clarifies, "the curse of the forest, of Brown Wood; the curse of her clan."

I gulp at her words. I slap a hand to my mouth, suddenly queasy. A bitter taste grows as the woman continues.

"I grew up in Essos. My mother was a soothsayer. She could read your future from a look of your palm. I inherited but a fraction of her gift, which is why I cannot help you myself."

"Essos?" Sandor scoffs, "let me guess, you're from Volantis?"

Lorena nods, "I am."

The Hound cackles, throwing his head back as he did.

I feel bile rise up my throat.

Lorena looks disgruntled as Sandor calms and shakes his head. "All right, wench," he grabs her arm, "get out of he--"

I run towards a nearby bush and begin to retch. Sandor immediately releases Lorena and dashes to my side.

Lorena looks at me and mutters something foreign under her breath.

I vomit a good amount before straightening up, weakly leaning into Sandor as he pulls me into his chest. My head is pounding. I hear him repeat my name as he wipes my lips with his sleeve.

"Your monster is fighting back now that it's been recognized," Lorena says with pity.

Sandor enraged, "fuck off! GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!"

She is taken aback, "but I-"

"I'VE HEARD ENOUGH FROM YOUR CUNT MOUTH!"

Lorena flinches and slowly walks back before ultimately running away.

"N-no-" I turn to her, "wa-it!"

Sandor pulls me back, circling around to block me. He clutches my cheeks, lowering himself to examine my face, "are you alright?"

I shake my head in an attempt to push him away. I, in fact, push him, but he doesn't budge, "you scared her off, Sandor! She had more to say-"

"I'd have severed her tongue for it," he quips, placing his hands on my shoulder, pushing me back, "we're going inside."

"But-" but I can only walk in the direction he's dragging me.

Sandor causes as scene when we get inside. He sits me down and starts shouting, "SOMEONE GET FUCKING WATER FOR THE DAMNED LADY OF THE HOUSE, YOU LAZY SHITS."

"Sandor," I whimper, wiping my face as I watch him pace around, demanding attention.

He walks towards me, kneeling by the chair I was sat on. Right on cue, the patter of paws fill the air and three barking pups come running over. Two of them nip at Sandor's clothing, eager for his attention. One of them, Lilac, barks at me, loudly requesting to be picked up.

I huff and chuckle at the creatures, shushing them while picking up Lilac, "don't upset your father more than he already is."

Sandor's heart skips when he hears that. Aye, it was not the first time he's heard it but it doesn't make it any less exciting for him. He looks over his shoulder and eyes the pups, "shut it."

Rose howls and sticks out her tongue.

"Stupid bitch," he grumbles.

I frown, "Sandor."

He clears his throat.

A servant comes with an ewer and a cup. I'm about to say thank you, but Sandor barks out to call Maester Yannick, and so the poor thing scurries off to do just that.

"That's enough," I scowl at him, "I'm fine."

Sandor's face sours, "you fucking vomited-- fine my arse."

"You heard her," I sigh and cuddle with Lilac, "it's the curse reacting to-"

"You're not cursed," Sandor quips.

My eyes water.

A beat passes.

I watch Sandor's expression harden. At the same time, Sage begins his attempt to climb up the chair. Sandor moves his leg around when Rose begins to nip at ends of his trousers.

With a raised brow and an eye roll, Sandor picks both Sage and Rose, handing them over to me.

The reunited siblings begin to silently play with each other on my lap. Their legs kick my arms and chest but I could not care less.

"That cunt bitch was hired by Littlefinger to fuck with you," Sandor stands and peers down at me, "don't you see? She's conveniently from Volantis and can see monster remnants-- HA-- even I can do a better job than that."

I begin to feel my stomach sour again, my face scrunching in return.

Sandor is flooded with concern. At the same time, the puppies begin to jump off me. He hisses, "gods," bending down to prevent the pups from injuring themselves.

The siblings chase each other around the room and sequentially find a toy to play with.

I take a deep breath, which thankfully helps to calm my stomach. I sigh, "I don't think so."

He looks at me.

"I think she sincerely wants to help."

He deflates his lungs. He calls my name again, "you're not-"

"You're forgetting I was there," I mutter, feeling my throat constrict, "someone came here to Brown Wood that day and unleashed this."

His brows knit tightly when I grab his hand. He kneels again when I tug him, bringing his palm to my side

"A monster didn't scar me, Sandor, a man did."

I feel him tighten his grip on my left hip.

My emotions best me.

Sandor doesn't move an inch as I cry into my hands. Something horrendous eats away at him. His hand tenses, but he decides - fuck it - and pulls me towards him. He rubs my waist as I wipe my cheeks.

I bring my arms around his shoulders, calming myself down with the warmth of him. He sighs where I sob. He whispers, "I'm here, sweet wife. No one else will lay a finger on you."

My chest tightens at his words.

Then it dawns on me... I was meant to die that night. The monsters were for my family, and I survived. I'm the reason why this pestilence plagues Brown Wood.

I pull away from Sandor when I realize this.

He recoils with shock.

I stand and run outside, passing maester Yannick, as I make my way to a bush to vomit again.

I lie in bed feeling horrible after having so many people fuss over me. Sandor wound up snarling at the servants waiting outside my door, scaring them off to give me some privacy.

Maester Yannick pats my hand after he finishes examining me, "you're going to be fine. If I'm being blunt, you had quite a dramatic reaction."

I sink into the cushions as I watch the old man gather his things, readying to leave, "of course, some bodies are more naturally dramatic than others," he turns to Sandor, ho was standing by the door, "take your husband for example. He's not got a bone in his body made with dramatics."

I look at Sandor; his face is indignant and his crossed arms make him appear more tense.

"Of course, that can also be worrying," Yannick says as he walks towards him. He pats his shoulder, "our body's reactions are telling of its conditions, and yours it telling you it needs rest."

The Hound eyes him as he exits the room. Maester Yannick shoos the people who've come back to snoop on the situation.

Sandor promptly locks the door. I lean into my pillow and watch him walk over to me.

I feel my throat tighten as he sits down on the other side of the bed. My eyes water a bit as he looks me over. He mumbles incredibly softly, "are you alright, pretty squirrel?"

I clench my jaw and sink into the sheets, "no."

He sighs. He sounds uneasy, "should I get you anything?"

Before I can respond, Sandor snaps.

"Fuck that old cunt. Dramatic or not, you spewed out everything you ate in the bushes. You need something."

I feel my vision blur. I rapidly shake my head and blink away the tears, "I'm tired, s'all."

"You need to eat something."

I reach out to him, "hold me instead?"

Sandor freezes. He proceeds to remove his shoes and gets under the sheets. He lies back and pulls me into him.

I nestle my face into his chest.

He gives out a deep sigh. He slowly speaks my name.

I lift my face and catch the worry on his.

He eyes me and presses his lip together, "you... you don't think this could be..."

I watch him as his gaze wanders, as if looking for the words to say. His hand rubs down my back. He turns to me again, "... you know..."

I knit my brows, "because I was upset about the curse?"

"Mmm-- no-" he sniffles, "because you're... carrying..."

I look at him with confusion but then it slips into realization. I perk and sit up slightly. I shake my head and offer a smile, "ah. Well... it's not improbable."

He looks at me in expectation.

I turn to his shirt, eyeing the fabric with artificial interest. I absentmindedly feel the fabric with my finger, "maester Yannick has his suspensions but he told me not to worry about it."

He shifts to towards me. He rubs my shoulders, but I still do not look up at him. He asks, "are you worried about it?"

"I'm cursed, husband," I mutter. Tears drip onto his top, "of course I'm worried. It's no wonder I cannot keep a child."

His brows tighten. He calls out my name.

I refuse to look at him. A dam of tears threaten to burst if I do.

Sandor runs his fingers down my spine and sighs, "everything I ever touch goes to shit." He grabs my hip and pulls me close.

I turn to him and nestle my face into his chest.

He traps me in his arms, "but you... you turn my shit into gold."

I hold back my tears but the sobs come out anyway. I grip onto his collar for dear life. He tightens his hold on me. We remain like this until I've wet his shirt and forced myself to calm down. He holds me all throughout, the sound of his breathing lulls me.

"There were 5 of them," I mumble against him.

Sandor doesn't say a word.

"They killed every one of our servants, then my father... my poor younger brother and sister," I lick my lips, tasting the salt of my tears, "I only survived because I was not inside that day; my older brothers snuck me out to watch them ride."

I laugh at the memory of them fighting over my approval.

Sandor's heart clenches at the sound.

"Those five men were covered in blood when they found us. They told us what they did to Brown Wood, the curse they set, the lives they took to do it. They told us what they were going to do to my brothers... to me. My eldest brother managed to maim one of them before he was beaten into the ground. My other brother gave his life to put me on his horse," I push myself up and look at him, "one managed to dig his knife into me before the steed bolted away."

Sandor watches as I take his hand. I bite my lip to keep myself from sobbing.

He straightens up and wipes my face with his free palm. He rubs down to my shoulder, "your brother wanted you to live. They all would have wanted you to live a happy life."

I laugh through my sob, "they would not want Brown Wood to be cursed, none of them would."

"But it's not your fault," he speaks tenderly, "you had nothing to do with it."

"They chased after me," I muttered, "the monsters."

A line forms between his brows.

"They chased me and my brother's horse into the woods, and all I did was scream and beg the poor creature to keep running as I clung onto its neck. I lead those monsters into the forest. Those vile creatures are hurting the people here because I was meant to fall with my br-"

"Enough," he grabs my shoulders.

I make a pained sound, "don't you see?!"

He is taken aback when I fight him away, but he does not release me.

"I've cursed you too! You think I've given you gold, when I truth you've been thrown here to die!"

Sandor cups my face.

"I was never meant to have you," I grab his wrists, trying to yank him away, "I was not meant to have anyone."

I eventually give up trying to free myself from his touch. It's not like I actually wanted to be in the first place.

He swallows a thick lump in his throat. "Aye," he furrows his brows, "you were never meant to have me. I was sworn to a bastard king, destined to die for him with nothing else to live for.

"The day King's Landing was attacked from Blackwater Bay, I saw my life flash before my eyes. I saw my end in the flames," he squeezes my arms, "and I saw you... my poor lady wife, my meek and naïve little bride. I knew what they'd do to you, to you, your wench, and your lame dog if I died that night."

My heart hurts, and clenches, and twists at his soft voice. I notice the glint in his eyes, the water waiting to spill.

"Sandor..."

"You say you're my curse," he takes my hands and rubs my knuckles. He looks at me and tightens his grip. He shakes his head, knitting his brows deeply together, "you are my purpose."

My lips quiver. My breathing grows heavy.

"I will not have you harmed, by blade, by claw or curse," he leans forward and scoops me on to his lap. He seals me into a tight embrace, "let me handle this."

I suck in a breath.

"Let me keep you safe."

I sigh slowly and nod my head. I snuggle my face into his neck and mutter softly, "I trust you."

I wake up to an empty bed. I knit my brows at it and look out the window. It seems like I was early in the morning. I scratch my eyes. Or, wait... was it still night?

Gods, I am disoriented.

I reach out to Sandor's side, hand slapping on the vacant cushion, and sigh.

I notice some candles in the room were lit. Maybe he woke up for a wee.

I close my eyes and try to go back to sleep.

I feel sick to my stomach.

I groan.

I peel my heavy eyes open, thinking this was going to be impossible if Sandor doesn't come back soon.

I watch the sky through the window. Long moments later, I hear the door open.

I turn to see Sandor walking in. I sit up when I notice him holding a tray.

He stops in his tracks, "... you're not supposed to be awake yet..."

"You left," I retort.

"I made sure not to make a sound."

"What is that?"

Sandor turns to his tray and walks over, "something to eat when you wake." He heads towards me and places the object down on the bedside table, "it's meant to be cool by the time you did."

I knit my brows as he sits on the edge of the bed. I glance at the bowl of porridge, feeling my heart warm and pinch at his concern. I reach out to him and he sandwiches my hand in both of his, "how are you feeling?"

"Tired," I mutter.

"Hungry?"

"Tired."

"You haven't eaten anything since you emptied your guts."

"I'm not hungry, husband."

"Because you've let your hunger pass," he says sternly, a line forming between his brows.

I press my lips tightly and pull my hand out of his grip. I slowly reach out to his cheek, "may I?"

Sandor hesitates but responds by pressing my palm on his scarred face. He is rigid against my touch. It seems like he won't let up. I release him from his misery by moving my touch to his chest. He immediately relaxes. I mutter, "I'll eat in a little while."

Sandor touches the hand on his chest, "you probably woke up because you're hungry."

I chuckle softly and shake my head, "I woke because you weren't there."

He grunts.

"It's cold," I add.

"I know what can warm you up."

My stomach flips when he leans forward. But then, he reaches out for a spoon and says, "porridge."

I watch as he brings a spoonful of porridge to his lips to blow at it. When he thinks it's cool enough, he brings it towards me.

I have to bite my lips to hold back my laugh but eventually bring myself to eat, for his sake. I lick my lips after and he looks at me expectantly. I smile, "it's delicious. Thank you."

Sandor shakes his head, "it's not delicious. You're just hungry."

He goes for another scoop.

I watch as he blows the spoonful, "did you make it?"

"Nay, the castle ghost did," he brings the spoon to my lips.

I give him a look.

"... I did."

I eat the porridge.

Sandor goes for another scoop but I stop him by grabbing his arm.

We stare at each other for a moment. I shift on the mattress and get on my knees. I push myself up, becoming slightly taller than him as I did. I crawl over.

He watches me, eyes raking up and down my form.

He stiffens when I bring my leg on his lap and take a seat there. I rest my head on his shoulder and wrap my arms around him, "I told you, I'm not hungry."

"..."

"I'm not a little girl that need be spoon-fed."

I hear him put the spoon down. He places his hands on my hips.

"You don't have to treat me this way."

"Foolish wife," he sigh, "you took care of me once."

"..."

He rubs my back.

I slowly pull away and look at him.

He rubs my sides, "more than once. Much more."

My lips part. My brows knit.

"I'm hardened. I have no instinct for tenderness, only instinct to survive," he lowers his head, "you will not survive if you don't eat."

I sigh, expression melting, "oh, puppy. One missed meal will not kill me."

He scowls.

I bite my lip and cling on to the fabric of his top, "I swear to you, I will eat in a little while."

He sighs heavily through his nostrils.

I pout, "can we just go back to sleep for now?"

Sandor takes his time to respond.

"Please, puppy-"

He flinches.

"I'm still so sleepy."

He sighs dramatically, "fine. As you wish, little girl."

I purse my lips, "I'm not a little girl."

"The don't be bratty," he quips, " or I will have you over my knee."

My eyes widen as he pushes me off. He stands and blows out the candles.

I grunt and whine when I wake. My heart was racing, as I've had a terrible nightmare. I was in the corner of a room, the scar on my hip was a wound bleeding out, and I was waiting for whatever was outside to finally come get me.

It eventually entered to do just that, slowly peeling the wooden door open with a horrible creek. A massive, molten creature scratched down the door and steps forward. My heart was in my mouth as it looked at me.

And then it lurched, and I was awake.

I was awake with a heavy weight on top of my chest. I throw whatever it was away from me, only realizing after that it was Sandor's arm.

I sit up with a gasp, and I wait for him to curse at me for rattling him. He doesn't. He doesn't curse. He doesn't wake up.

I sigh with guilt. I fix his arm, rubbing it to make up for what I did. He snores and my eyes crinkle at it.

Oh, to sleep like a hound.

I look at the window and see the sun glistening upon the outside. I turn to my the porridge Sandor had left on the table and smile. I decide to get up and head to the bathroom before eating it.

I freshen up and relieve myself. My face falls when I find red in my skirts. For a moment, I deny it. I stare and touch it, disgusted by the very real wetness that meets my fingers. I sigh and, suddenly feel tears flood my eyes. Disappointment and sadness clogs my chest.

By the time, I change my garments and check the bed for any stains, finding none, I was a sobbing mess.

I sit beside Sandor, heaving as I look at his sleeping form. I take the bowl of porridge and eat it. It was barely warm at this point. I leave not a drop.

I could not keep myself inside the bedroom, because all there was for me here was to cry, and I didn't want to wake my husband.

I take my tray of empty porridge and head to the kitchen. Many of the servants were already awake and working at this point, and each of the ones who greeted me had their smiles faltering at sight of my face.

I rub my tear stained cheeks.

I think I want strawberry pie.

It was pathetic that I wasn't distracted by work, that the tears kept coming as I measured, and mixed, and poured, and picked ingredients to make my favorite dessert. Not the smell nor the taste of this labour, which was meant be done with love, took away from this hopelessness in my belly, the hollowness of it all.

And as concerned as Lucy, as Yannick, as Margaret, as Arron, as Polly, as anyone who saw me was, I told them only that I needed to make this pie, and that they leave me be.

I finished two by the time Sandor woke up.

I look up at him from across the room; he had called out my name. He looked small... and scared from there. I look back down at my bowl and continue to mix the strawberries for the third pie I'm making.

I feel him walk towards me. I feel him come to my side. I do not anticipate whatever he means to do. I grab my pie tin and pour the contents in.

Sandor watches. He watches me place the top layer of dough on my pie and fashion its crust.

He calls my name again. I ignore him in lieu of completing my task.

Just as I finished, Sandor takes the pie and moves it away. He grunts, "enough fucking pie."

Finally, I look up at him. He looks so... fiercely concerned, so distressed and worried. It makes me feel sick.

"What's wrong?" he whispers.

The question... spurs me. What's wrong?

"I don't fucking know," I hiss, through tears.

Everything is wrong.

Sandor is visibly shocked by my response. This may well be the first time he's ever seen me act and speak like this.

"Do not speak to me. I don't want to speak with you," I snap and walk off. My chest hurts as I do so. My legs take me outside to the gardens, in front of Daisy's grave.

I am wrong.

It seems at this point, I no longer have any tears to cry. I sob, but no tears come out. My emotions crumple me down on the soil. I sit there in dismay. The fabric on my knees are stained brown.

I hear paws pattering. Feet are running towards me. Warm fur rubs against me. There are no barks, only wet noses and low whines.

I am irritated at first, but then Sage forces his way into my lap, and suddenly, it's all gone.

I curl my legs together. The daisies on Daisy's grave were plenty now. I find myself talking to her about the three puppies in my arms. I tell her how much she would have loved them. I tell her how sorry I am for bringing her to a place where she wasn't safe.

Lilac spots something behind me and begins to bark. Judging by the wag of her tail, I knew exactly what she saw.

I turn over my shoulder and see Sandor, nervous and hesitant.

I release the puppies from my arms and two trot over to Sandor; Rose stays by my side.

"Shall I leave?" Sandor asks.

I stare at him for a moment, feeling to scared to tell him no, to ask him of anything at this moment, so I just shake my head.

He walks over to me. The pups follow and run back into my lap. Sandor sits on the ground beside me.

We sit there in silence. I feel my husband look at me, examine me, unsure of his next more. He decides to simply pet the pups and be there. I am grateful for it.

"I'm sorry," I eventually mutter, "I was horrid."

"... honestly," he mutters, "it made me think this was probably what I'm like with you."

I look at the daisies in front of me. I look at the gravestone for my dog. I look at my husband, who was stroking Rose's dark fur. I tell him, "you're not like this."

His brow darts up, "aye," he frowns, " 'm far worse."

I shake my head, "... the world has been cruel to you, my love."

Sandor's brows knit tightly, "aye, and to you." His hand moves to mine. My breathing strains when he squeezes it, "I kill people that piss me off... you bake pies."

He looks at the daisies, "I don't know what's upset you, but," he looks back at me, "if you want to bake some more... I can help."

I give him a soft smile. I shake my head and mumble, "enough fucking pies."

He sigh, "I'm sorry I-"

"It's alright. I'm tired."

He sighs again.

"... I suppose it's a good time as any to tell you..."

"..."

I drop my head on his shoulder in defeat, "I'm not with child."

I feel him look down at me.

".. there was blood on my skirt when I woke," I look up at him and press my lips into a line, "I think it's just how... it'll always be... no matter what we do... what I do..."

Sandor's brows furrow. He turns and reaches for my face. When he swipes his thumb on my cheek, my eyes water.

I chew my lip and dryly chuckle, lips quivering as I did so, "do you still want me?"

His expression tightens. He shakes it head, as if he was just struck, and tightens his hold on me, "I've never wanted anything so badly."

"... Sandor... I'm curs-"

"Then I pray I'll be fucking cursed forever."

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lutiaslayton · 1 year ago

Text

Did someone ask for more scans? No? Too bad, have more scans.

Emmy's letter to Professor Layton, post-Curious Village. The fabled letter, which can only be accessed properly if you rip open your copy of the Japan-exclusive Azran Legacy Guidebook (more or less).

Years ago, there were photos and a fan-translation floating around on tumblr. Now, I give you the new and high quality version, as well as a full transcript. You're welcome :>

It's been literally eight years since your post, but since your tags say that you wanted to be warned if a better scan were to be made, well... Here you go @puzzilitis x) I'm also tagging @the-azran-legacies, but I'm pretty sure your blog is completely dead since this translation post seems to be its latest sign of activity, and that was ten years ago.

Seriously though, just in case you get to see this -- thank you both so much for what you did all these years ago. Without your posts, I might never even have heard that this letter existed in the first place! Or, well, I likely would have heard of it by now given the fact that I've been documenting every single Layton media I can find -- but I would have lived through an entire decade of ignorance by that point.

The translation below has been done exclusively with DeepL because my free time is limited, sorry for that ^^' If you want another one in order to compare, you have the one linked above, and I will likely make another one later (much later).

みんなのエピソード２１｜レミからの手紙

Everybody's Episode 21: A Letter from Emmy

親愛なるレイトン教授へ Dear Professor Layton,

あれから数か月になりますが、教授、お元気ですか？ It's been a few months since then. Professor, how are you?

一緒に仕事をしている仲間からレイトン教授が遺産相続騒動を解決したという話を耳にして思わず手紙を書いてしまいました。 When I heard from a colleague I work with that you had solved an inheritance dispute, I couldn't resist writing to you.

タージェントから世界を救ったあのレイトン教授が単なる遺産相続のナゾトキの依頼を引き受けるなんて。まさか…と思いましたが、ナゾには目がない教授ですし、きっと知的好奇心を刺激される不思議な出来事だったんでしょうね。 How could the very same Professor Layton who had saved the world from Targent, now accept a mere inheritance puzzle request? I could not believe it… But you always had a penchant for puzzles, so I am certain that it had to be a mysterious event which truly stimulated your intellectual curiosity.

ルークはしっかりと役目を果たせたでしょうか？ Has Luke fulfilled his role well?

実は…私はいま、ワールドタイムズでカメラマンをしています。教授の��躍を教えてくれた仕事仲間って、ボストニアス号で世界を旅したときに出会ったドリスさんなんですよ。 By the way... I am now a photographer for the World Times. The colleague who told me about your activities is Doris. We met her when we were travelling around the world on the Bostonius.

教授のもとを去ってから私がワールドタイムズで働き始めたきっかけは、教授との旅がとても楽しかったから。 I started working for the World Times after I quit my job as your assistant, since I enjoyed the journey with you so much.

世界各地でのいろんな人との出会い、見る者を虜にする美しい景色…。それを世界中の人々に伝えたい、いっしかそんな気持ちになって、自然とワールドタイムズ編集部に足を運んでいました。 Meeting all kinds of people in different parts of the world, finding beautiful and captivating landscapes… I wanted to tell people all over the world about these experiences, and this is how I naturally came to visit the World Times editorial office.

今の仕事は、本当に楽しいです！ I really enjoy my current job!

ムスロッホでリボの滝と鍾乳洞の取材をしていたら、長老のシメジイさんから気になるうわさ話を聞いたんです。 While I was reporting for the Ribo Waterfalls and the limestone caves of Musloch, I heard interesting rumours from the elder, Mr Simejii.

そんな話を聞いたら、調査をするしかありませんよね！ After hearing such a story, I simply could not resist investigating!

村人たちの情報を頼りに鍾乳洞の奥を突き進んでいったら…幻の｢神秘の密林｣を発見しました！ After going deeper into the limestone caves, by relying on the information the villagers gave me… The fabled "Mystical Jungle" has been discovered!

ワールドタイムズの大スクープとして一面に大きく取り上げられたので教授もご存知かもしれませんが、これは私の初スクープなんですよ。 You may have already known of it since it was featured as huge news on the front page of the World Times, but this was my first scoop.

記事には書きませんでしたが、密林の奥には古代遺跡が隠されていました。 We did not mention it in the article, but there were ancient ruins hidden deep in the jungle.

ここにもたくさんのナゾが隠されているはずなので、いつか教授にナゾを解いてもらいたいなぁ。 There must be a lot of puzzles hidden there. I hope you will solve them one day.

もしかして、アスラント文明とは別の考古学史上に残る大発見がある…かも？ Maybe there is another major discovery in the history of archaeology that is unrelated to the Azran civilisation… maybe?

そんなスクープを追いかけて世界中を飛び回る毎日ですが、いま追いかけているのは、スラム街に現れた｢ナゾのマスク男｣です。この話、知的好奇心をくすぐられませんか？ I spend my days travelling around the world, chasing this kind of scoop. What I am chasing now is a "Puzzling Masked Man" who has appeared in the slum quarters. Doesn't this story tickle your intellectual curiosity?

お金持ちから金品を盗み、スラム街の子供たちにお金を与える現代の義賊｢マスク男｣。 The Masked Man is a modern-day righteous bandit who steals money and goods from the rich and gives it to the children in the slums.

最初は、この｢マスク男の正体｣をスクープするためカメラ片手に追いかけていましたが、スラム街の子供たちを見ているうちに、１人の記者としてそこに暮らす人々の現状もじっくりと取材したい、と思うようになりました。 At first, I followed this "Masked Man," camera in hand, in order to get a scoop on his identity. But as I watched the children in the slums, I began to think that, as a reporter, I should rather take the time to cover the current situation of the people living there.

スラム街にはたくさんの孤児がいます。私たちを無垢な笑顔で迎えてくれる子、まったく目を合わせてくれない子など、いろんな表情を見せてくれます。 There are many orphans in the slums. We see many different faces, from those who greet us with innocent smiles to those who don't make eye contact at all.

そんな彼らの姿を見ているうちに、昔のことを、ふと思い出してしまいました。 As I watched them, I suddenly remembered something from the past.

私も子供のころ父を失い、孤児になってしまうところでした。しかし、それを救ってくれたのは、おじさまだったんです。 I lost my father as a child and almost became an orphan. But Uncle Leon saved me from that.

あの頃、父を失った私をおじさまはまるで娘のように育ててくれました。 Back then, I had lost my father, and Uncle Leon brought me up as if I were his daughter.

だから、あの場所でおじさまを裏切るわけにはいかなかった。優しかったおじさまを裏切れなかった…。教授に嘘をついていたことは、申し訳ないと思っています。 So this is why I couldn't betray him in that place. I couldn't betray my kind Uncle Leon... I truly am sorry that I lied to you, Professor.

でも、こういうことがあったから��そ、教授に出会えた。人の運命って不思議ですね。 Still, it was because of these things that I met you. The destiny of people is a curious thing, isnt' it?

あ…、今の私を伝えたいと思ってこの手紙を書いたのに、過去の話になっちゃいましたね。私の話は、また教授に会ったときにお話ししますね。 Ah... I wrote this letter in order to tell you how I am now, but all this is about the past. I will tell you my story when we meet again.

というわけで…今は楽しく仕事をしています！ So, all that to say... I really am enjoying my work now!

そうそう、長かった髪を思い切ってばっさり切りました！ Yes, I also cut off my long hair in a very drastic way!

これまでタージェントの一員として生きてきましたが、いま、ワールドタイムズでカメラマンとして働く普通の女性として歩み出すことができた、そんな気がしています。 I have lived my entire life as a member of Targent. But now, I feel that I have been able to step forward as an ordinary woman, who is now working as a photographer for the World Times.

きっといつか、あなたにまた会える、その日まで。 I am sure that one day, we will meet again. Until that day.

ＰＳ．取材中の写真をドリスさんに撮ってもらいました！あっ、後ろにマスク男が…！ P.S. Doris took photos during the interview! Ah, the Masked Man is in the background...!

Emmy Altava

Important translation note: Emmy calls Bronev "oji-sama," all in hiragana, which makes it unclear whether she is related to him by blood or not (おじ means "uncle," but can also just mean "man who is older than the speaker" (at least from what I know)).

The Eternal Diva novel introduces Emmy as "a beautiful woman of Asian lineage" (and yes, I know, Asia is huge with a lot of different lineages, and I don't know either which corner of Asia is being talked about here), so make of that info what you like. In order to leave it as ambiguous as I could, I replaced all instances of "oji-sama" with "Uncle Leon."

There might be a few other translation changes I made, but I think this was the most important one to take note of.

By the way, I actually scanned the whole guidebook, and I will share it when I can (though don't hold your breath, as you probably know I am currently juggling between way too many projects). The scans aren't ready to be shared yet because they were basically done with me not really caring whether the pages would be perfectly straight, upside down, etc, and as such they need some editing.

(I checked and the resolution of the scans is high enough to make it so that editing doesn't hurt the quality in the slightest. I swear that when the scans are finished editing, you won't even realise it and they'll look just as good as what you're seeing above with Emmy's letter).

The editing also includes linking the pages together for aesthetics purposes. Some pages have artworks that spread over both pages, so I'm doing my best to make it look seamless! Here, have an example for the first double page in the book that really does it:

As you can guess, editing each of the 128 pages in order to get this result is time-consuming, and translating that is going to be a doozy. But let's just appreciate how awesome it will be once it's done, eh? :D

Anyway, next up on the blog is going to be the Eternal Diva novel translation. I'm still working on getting some buffer done, but hopefully the first "chapter" will get out soon! I'd like to post on Saturdays. Let's cross our fingers for tomorrow. Or next week, if today's translation is enough to satiate you all for now!

#professor layton #emmy altava #azran legacy spoilers #azran legacy #professor layton and the azran legacy #professor layton transcript #azran legacy guidebook #emmy's letter #layton preservation

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thegamingcatmom · 2 months ago

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Hi! >:3 This one is for the Dimi sisters, for each of them what do you think they enjoy doing around the castle? Like I imagine they are pretty bored esp in Winter where they can't go outside due to the cold, I imagine Dani and Bela could enjoy reading by the fireplace but there has to be something else to do, right? I don't think Cassandra is a bookworm like her sisters, in fact I doubt that one can be STILL for more than 5 seconds XD I have a few HC of my own like I think Bela likes to read but not romantic stuff like Dani I think she'd be mroe into learning new stuff constantly from the books she reads and I think she is into art so she likes painting in the atelier, or just sketching in a notebook while sitting by the window (I once read a fanfic where Bela learned to cook? And I found it so cute and stuff that she cooked for tehf amily etc that i accepted that HC too). Cassandra would be in the armory sharpening her weapons bc theya re never sharp enough or practicing ehr moves against a dummy, perhaps even getting Dani to play some pranks on the staff (who no one finds funny except for the both of them and getting on Bela's nerves which is a plus I guess :p) Dani... Aside from reading her romantic novels and pranking the staff with Cass I thin she'd be into poetry... she'd try her best ok? (I'm kinda lost with Dani's hobbies tbh XD) What are your own HC for their hobbies? :p Have a good day <3

HI HELLO 🫶

I love your thoughts and I absolutely agree that Cassandra is incapable of focusing on anything for too long. Her record is approx. 10 secs, which is exactly how long it takes her to string someone up, slice their jugular and watch them bleed, lmao.

However, I´d like to think that Momma Alci makes sure to keep her unruly offspring entertained, mainly because it keeps them from bugging her. Momma values her me time. 🛁😌

Besides, there´s always the maids to terrorize. That never gets old. 🤭

Reading

Mostly books that expand her knowledge, like you said. She takes after Momma in that respect. 🤭

Another thing she really likes are mystery thrillers. They have her on the edge of her seat in a way no hunt has managed yet.

She´s not that big into horror though, believe it or not. Probably because she more than gets her fill of that on a daily basis in that castle, lol.

Romance? Please. She has neither the time, nor the patience for such mundane things.

Painting, drawing

She enjoys the calm that comes with it (which is rare in that castle), but she also does it to impress Momma. 🤭

Her favorite things to paint are still lifes. Especially fruit. Especially when it´s rotten. She finds that there´s a certain beauty in the grotesque.

Her favorite things to draw are humans. Or, more specifically, their insides. Organs and bones. Or just certain body parts with the muscles exposed.

Being down in the cellar almost every day truly brought out her artistic side. It´s very...inspiring.

Playing the piano

Again, she does it mostly to impress Momma, seeing how the Lady is quite the talented pianist herself.

Her favorite things to play are dark, tragic pieces that capture the haunting spirit of her existence. Such as Beethoven – Moonlight Sonata 1st Movement.

Music holds immense significance in House Dimitrescu, so it was only natural for Bela to prioritize mastering it as soon as she was capable of forming coherent thoughts.

Stringing them up

Slicing their jugulars

Watching them bleed

...I don´t know what else to tell you, lol.

The middle daughter isn´t particularly picky about how she spends her evenings. She simply does what she does best and, more importantly, what she loves doing. That´s all the fulfillment she needs.

It´s as simple as that with her. I aspire to be like that.

HOWEVER-

I do like the idea of her sharpening and taking care of her weapons because she certainly holds them dear to her dead heart. They´re her babies. :3

HOWEVER-

I don´t really see it as a hobby because it still means "work" for her. She doesn´t cope well with that sort of thing, lol. She´d much prefer spending her precious time on actually using her sickle rather than maintaining it.

HOWEVER-

...She might just let a maid do the work for her. While she watches, ofc. Taunting her. Mocking her. Whispering sweet promises of gruesome death into her ear.

"You missed a spot...right here."

*slices that jugular with her newly sharpened sickle*

🤷🏻‍♀️

Reading

I think that one is pretty obvious. Anything romance is her jam. ;3

More Reading

Because why read your favorite book just once (multiplied by 1354641486418431) when you can dive into the manic endless realms of your own imagination OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND-

-UNTIL THE END OF TIME!!

Flirting/Roleplaying with the maids

The kitchen, the looming corridors, the cellars, the bedchambers - name any place within the castle, and it can almost always be guaranteed that Dani has left her mark - evidenced by blushing and stuttering maids.

Why hot when evil though?? 😭

Furthermore, as a direct result of her extensive reading, many maids have had the one-time opportunity to participate in one of her famously infamous plays, which focus on recreating her favorite scenes from her beloved books.

...Needless to say, that opportunity truly was a one-time affair.

Thanks a lot for your ask! 💋

#tumblr asks #bela dimitrescu #cassandra dimitrescu #daniela dimitrescu #resident evil village #re village #resident evil 8 #re 8

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avocado-writing · 1 year ago

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Hey, so recently my mum and sister have been calling me unlovable and unmarryable (long story, they're not dealing well with the stress of planning my sisters wedding) and even though I think they don't mean it, it's really getting to me. Please may I request Aziraphale comforting reader who is going through this type of thing too? Extra points for smut?

notes: hey anon, what the fuck? i'm your new mum now. fuck that noise, we're not here for it. hope this helps babe.

pairing: aziraphale x reader

rated: M

He can tell when you’re miserable. There will be a little clench of your jaw, a hitch in your voice, and he’ll immediately ask you what’s wrong. And that’s when you’re trying to hide it. Today there is no clever cover-up. Today you are just sad.

Aziraphale finds you staring out the window of his shop at the rainy London street. You look tired. He can see the tears in your eyes that you were clearly trying to hide by facing away, but when they begin to fall fat and heavy down your cheeks there is no pretending otherwise. The angel reaches out to pull you into him, and you grip his coat ever so tightly.

“My dear, what’s the matter?”

“Sorry. Oh god, fuck, this is so stupid. Sorry, I didn’t meant to say ‘fuck’ - ”

“Take a breath, love,” he suggests, and you do, a long, juddering one, but a breath nonetheless. The long swooping motion of his hand caressing your back helps steady you, and eventually you’re able to talk.

“My mum just said something horrible, that’s all.”

“Oh, well. I’m sure whatever she said wasn’t true, my darling.”

“She said I’m not marriageable. I’m not loveable.”

Aziraphale stills. He takes you by the biceps and gently pulls you to arm’s length, giving you a look of utter horror. There’s a long pause, and for a moment you’re worried it’s because you’ve done something wrong, but it’s because he’s trying to work out what to say. What can he say? It’s such a ridiculous thing that’s been told to you, he can’t picture someone telling you such a lie.

“That’s…” he scrambles for something to say, but settles on simply, “not true. That’s not true at all my dear. Anyone would be very glad to be your spouse, I’m certain of it. And as for ‘unloveable’, I’ve never heard a lie more brazen.”

“Oh, come off it, Aziraphale…”

“I’m not joking,” he states, firm. You dare to look up at him through watery eyelashes and find nothing but sincerity. And then his grip on your arms turns to a gentle stroke of his thumbs, and the anger on his face melts to softness, and he whispers, “you are very much loveable, I assure you.”

A spark of something fizzes between you. Something that’s been growing for ages, actually, but neither of you have quite been brave enough to act on it. But finally Aziraphale sees his opening.

He kisses you, and you turn to jelly in his arms; his tongue sweeps across your bottom lip and you open your mouth to allow him access. You cling to him tightly, as if you’re afraid that if you don’t you’ll topple over. When you break for breath, you pull away before he can capture you again.

“Aziraphale, look, you don’t have to – you’re not obligated – “

“I’m not doing this because I feel I owe you something, my darling. I’m doing it because I’ve wanted to for a very long time now.”

You crumble.

He kisses you and kisses you and kisses you, everywhere he can reach, everywhere he has to strip to access, and he lays you down on the sofa in his office - he cannot hold himself off long enough to get to his bedroom - and makes love to you the way you deserve. Where every touch tells you how much he treasures you, each roll of his hips promising he’d never lie about how he feels.

And then, between open-mouthed kisses and gentle nips at your lovely bare skin, a litany of “I love you”s. Because, look at you. Who couldn’t?

taglist: @angiestopit@dazed-soul @@foolishprincipalitee@smile-eywa@staygoldsquatchling02@underratedboogeyman@cool-ontherun-world@emilynissangtr@cool-iguana@this--is--music @ilyatan @lxsm2@clarina04@wtfhasmy-lifecometo@mrgatotortuga@wereallbrokenangels @night-affiliate @silcosmoke@kimqueenofhell@chewbrry @bajablast23 @h3k3t@am-i-obsessed---maybe @bakerstreethound

#i can be nonbinary and a mum fuck gender #aziraphale x reader #michael sheen x reader #request

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fa-by · 7 months ago

Text

I LUV IT

Hi babies and dear Anons 👋🏼, me again 🙃. I posted a new Q&A yesterday, and @camrensrealbish (btw hi, bud 👋🏼😄) asked me in the comments if I could create a post just for I LUV IT's two analyses.

@camrensrealbish: “Hi Faby, I love the interpretation of I LUV IT. I luv it, I luv it, I luv it 👌😅. I think it explains so well that this era is not surface-level at all. That thought through lyricism and symbolism is definitely still here. And how we’re so eager to dismiss hyperpop as stupid and without substance, be it for our convictions about femininity or sexuality, or even caution because of how other people use women’s sexuality. But when done purposefully it just shows how showing someone’s sexuality in this way *can* be empowering and authentic. And I think this is the case here. Can you please post your song commentary in a separate post, please? I would like to share it properly 😘”.

I originally wanted to post the two analyses as I did here now, but I couldn't because Tumblr has limited the possibility of posting more than 30 pics and I don't know why the fuck 😤. So thank you, dear 🤗. You gave me the excuse to be able to do it 😉.

Enjoy 😊.

Hiii to you too, dear Anon 👋🏼😄. I hope you're good too and about your ask, sure 😉.

So. I LUV IT ft. Playboi Carti released on March 27, 2024, is the first single for her fourth LP: C, XOXO. It's a hyperpop/experimental pop song and it samples Lemonade by Gucci Mane and interpolates Cockiness (Love It) by my queen RiRi (Rihanna). The studio recording with Carti was completed on Dec 17, 2023: (Carti's instastory)

Let me tell you something, this song was meant to shock. She pulled a Yes, and? and it worked 😎. For those of you who don't know what I'm referring to by that, I meant that Yes, and? was Ariana Grande's single for her album Eternal Sunshine and it's a diva house/dance-pop song, which was a different and unexpected genre especially then comparing it to the rest of the songs in the album when it was later released. It's a great song, but if it weren't for the concept that connects to two other songs, it would have nothing to do with the rest of the album musically and sonically speaking. It was a calculated idea to make it different from the rest. It's very smart and it's a good strategy for both a comeback and an album. I feel like I LUV IT is exactly the same thing. An impactful comeback was needed and this, together with the platinum blonde and the new era in general, served the purpose. The song was meant to be talked about for better or for worse. And guess what? Mission accomplished 😜.

This song is not for everyone. There are those who loved it right away, those who hated it and still do, and there are those who hated it and then slowly loved it. In reality, most people hated it and then loved it 🤣. I personally didn't hate it but I didn't love it right from the start either, not gonna lie. I just liked it 🤷🏻‍♀️. But after the third listen? Bouncing ass, tongue out, aaaand I luv it, I luv it, I luv it, I luv it, I luv it, I luv it, I luv it 🤣!! This song is definitely a grower! The more you listen to it, the more you become addicted to it 😍.

But anyway. Unlike the video, the lyrics talk about sex. So let's get started. Oh and, of course, I won't include Carti's mumbled Atlanta rap or as his fans say, the Cartinese, simply because he wrote his part.

***Btw, I can no longer listen to Carti’s “Oh, you on the road now? - Oh, you grown now? - Oh, you too grown now” without bursting out laughing 🤦🏻‍♀️🤣. I can't help but hear Nas' imitation of Carti's voice in the HE KNOWS music video🤣🤣🤣. For me, those three sentences have now become just one repeated X3: “Oh, you on the floor now” 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣***

Oh oh oh, last thing before starting. If you're a prude, LEAVE NOW. Skip the whole lyric analysis and go straight to the music video analysis. The song is about sex like I just said and I therefore won't hold back from explaining certain things, okay? I warned you 🙋🏻‍♀️. I don't wanna see complaints in the comments as happened years ago. Thank you.

Song

Verse 1:

“Supersonic, in your orbit”

So, supersonic. One word from which two derive: super and sonic. Super: above the rest, better than the rest. Sonic: derived from the Latin ‘sonus’ which means sound. Super-sound. Basically a loud noise, a sound/sonic boom that (the actual meaning of supersonic:) breaks the acoustic barrier by traveling at a speed faster than the one of sound. A flight can be supersonic. As well as a missile and even a gun bullet.

An orbit is an ever-changing path one object in space takes around another. An unscientific example? A dog with its favorite toy often orbits their owner insistently because they want to play with them. Speaking from personal experience here 🤣.

***Oh and, lil fun fact. In prostitution specifically, orbit was, and perhaps still is, a code word for oral sex***

Ultimately, “Supersonic, in your orbit” means that Mila is this supersonic boom, this let's even say supersonic shock that orbits around her prey. As I've said many other times in my analysis, Mila likes to use wordplay in her songs and this is basically her artistic way of explaining sexual provocation. She's provoking her target.

“And I’m bad, diabolic”

It's giving intense energy and mischief out of the ordinary 😜. She knows she's good at it (provocation). She has a goal (to sleep with her) and succeeds because we have the aftermath of her intent in the next sentence.

“Bottle rocket, on the carpet”

Her favorite lyrics because many people didn't grasp the meaning 🤣. Definition of bottle rocket: a firework typically consisting of a cylindrical case that is partly filled with combustible material and fastened to a guiding stick which may be placed in a bottle to control the direction of the rocket's launch.

In this case, in sex, bottle rocket is the representation of cuming hard in an explosive way.

Rockets have a phallic shape, so the first thing that's assumed here is that it's the sperm that's on the carpet, also because the song acts as straight 🙄, but where's the deception? Even girls can give someone a bottle rocket. How? By being an explosion and not a normal female cum orgasm, with female ejaculation also known as squirting.

Ergo, she's talking about herself. This song is not about sex with a guy and I can even prove that with the next sentence.

“Threw it back and he caught it”

Round two, doggy-style position. Movements: “Threw it back” her ass “and she caught it” with the hands by placing it directly back on the face aka mouth-tongue (clue about the lil fun fact I mentioned earlier) or by directing the entrance of the cave of wonders on the dildo (since Camren loves toys so much 😜🤣🤭). But, given the “he” because, again, the song acts as straight 🙄, the meaning should make you think of the guiding on the dick. But no. As I said before, I can prove it.

When guys cum, it literally takes them a while before they can go again. Some need 10/15 minutes, others hours or directly the next day because they literally physically can't. It's rare anyway that they manage to go beyond the second round (unless they're in the midst of adolescence and are like 14/15 years old 🤣), and those who miraculously can make it, also last very little and their cum is also very little. And mind you, I'm not saying these things to belittle men. I'm not making anything up. It's the pure truth. Not only have I experienced it myself (cause yes, hi 👋🏼, I've been with my gf for 3 years but I'm bisexual and I've had relationships before her), but these are facts that you can even look up if you don't believe me.

It's obviously not the same for all guys and they're all different, but us girls literally need 5 seconds or nothing at all to recover, and we don't have limits like they do. Unlike males, we females can have multiple orgasms. Sexual arousal and orgasm are possible again right away. So no. It's impossible she was talking about a guy.

If she was really talking about a guy, it's impossible that immediately after his Bottle rocket, on the carpet (yet another proof that Mila was talking about her cuming, her squirting) he didn't need some enough available time for round two (Threw it back and he caught it). Let’s move on 💪🏼.

“I go soprano, baby, go down low”

Soprano in music is the highest note, so in this case, going soprano means she's screaming with pleasure. And in her euphoric state, she guides her partner back down there into her buried treasure.

“And when he leads, I gotta follow”

The movements. Like in dance. In partner dancing, there are those who lead and those who follow. They're designed roles to facilitate the movements. The one who leads manages the body of the one who follows and decides the dance steps and direction of travel from time to time.

The thing that makes me laugh about this part is the “when he leads”. “When” 🤣🤣🤣. Because she's the top and she's the one who leads most of the time because Laur's the bottom (even though they're both also switch) so when Lo leads, when, sometimes, occasionally, I gotta follow 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣. Oh Mila 🤦🏻‍♀️🙈🤣.

“I’m blackin’ out, I’m on a spiral”

She feels out of control (spiral) because the ending is so beautiful that it almost makes her lose consciousness (blackin’ out).

“I need you now and tomorrow”

And forever.

I’d also like to add a deeper meaning of sex to I’m blackin’ out, I’m on a spiral – I need you now and tomorrow. Although she said the song is about sex, she also said:

“Part of that cocktail is also the emotional drama between you and that person, and the chaos and butterflies and nerves and passion. It’s unsustainable and not peaceful and exhausting, but also, I LUV IT.” – “Now I feel kind of lonely and small and weird, but at the same time, I’m an adult and I feel so strong in other areas of my life, but not this one. There’s just the wrestling of those feelings without it being kind of neat or in a box. You can’t really say that it’s a sad song, you can’t really pin it down. It’s just kind of me wrestling with these feelings and me kind of being really present on a particular feeling and exploring it. I feel like a lot of songs on the album are that”.

So going deeper, “I’m blackin’ out, I’m on a spiral” indicate her anxiety. Being on a spiral or simply spiraling, is an emotional state that rapidly worsens in a way that becomes increasingly difficult to control and often leads to short-term periods of anxiety or depression. Aka her OCD gets triggered. Which by the way, I remind you that for her leads to obsessions and repetitive thoughts. And in a certain way, we can also see it in the repetition of the same phrase in the chorus.

So here she's saying: 1) I’m blackin’ out, aka I'm going crazy, I'm freaking out (connection/thing that reminds me a lot of “Am I out of my head? Am I out of my mind?” Bad Things [analysis here (eleventh ask)]) 2) I’m on a spiral, aka I'm anxious, distressed, worried, fearful. Why? Because I don't wanna lose you aka 3): I need you now and tomorrow. This alludes to the desire for connection and intimacy that goes beyond sex.

Both meanings (sexual and deeper) however indicate the intensity of her uncontrollable and erratic emotions towards as she said “that person” Lauren. But she doesn't care. “It’s unsustainable and not peaceful and exhausting, but also, I…?” She…? She what? Sing it all together🎤🎵🎶👇🏼👇🏼👇🏼:

Chorus:

“I luv it, I luv it, I luv it, I luv it

I luv it, I luv it, I luv it

I luv it, I luv it, I luv it, I luv it

I luv it, I luv it, I luv it

I luv it, I luv it, I luv it, I luv it

I luv it, I luv it, ooh

I luv it, I luv it, I luv it, I luv it

I luv it, I luv it, I luv it”

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7…...

27. 27……

27 times, huh? 😜 What a wonderful coincidence! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 of all the numbers, precisely the 27. Would you look at that 🤣🤣.

No seriously tho. The words have to fit and respect the tempo of the song, but coincidence or not it's still funny for me 🤭.

Post-Chorus 1:

“Lemons on the chain with the V-cuts (X2)

Lemons in their face, watch ’em freeze up (x2)”

This part was sampled from the song Lemonade by Gucci Mane. Lemons are basically yellow diamonds (known as Canary Diamonds) cut/engraved in the shape of the letter V (an expensive method of cutting diamonds).

The meaning behind that would be that people would ��freeze up” in shock at seeing this display of wealth and success, these lemons/diamonds, “in their face”s. They're oh so surprised and intimidated that they even freeze up for this luxury lifestyle thrown in their faces.

Umm………. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Do we really care? Of that? Okay 🤣. About something she didn't even write? Something that she literally took copied and pasted into the song? Pfft, okay. Can we move on? Thank you 🤣.

Verse 2:

“Super twisted, sick addicted”

Twisted: someone who's mentally or emotionally unhealthy or disturbed: sick. --> Sick addicted: someone who's unable to stop doing something as a habit. Ergo, she's saying that she likes/enjoys it a lot and wants to spend as much time as possible doing what they're doing: sex.

Nonsexual meaning: She's using strong words to describe not only herself but also what their relationship is like. They may be twisted, and addicted, and toxic, and all the other things we've seen in their songs, but no matter what, she/they LUV IT, cause they luuuv each other.

“Kiss me hard, someday you’ll miss this”

A dig for all those times they break up or take breaks.

“Meteor shower, in your power”

What's a meteor shower?

The meteor shower is nothing other than what we commonly call shooting stars. These are obviously not stars, but meteors. Meteors are the aftermath of asteroids and comets that ORBITATED the SUN.

Asteroids (celestial bodies composed of rocky bodies) and comets (celestial bodies composed of frozen gases) become meteoroids when they fragment. In turn, meteoroids ignite and disintegrate when they enter our solar system, becoming meteors, ergo shooting stars. Those that don't disintegrate and manage to touch the earth's ground instead become meteorites.

How does a meteor shower happen?

The meteor shower happens when the earth, in its ORBIT around the SUN, crosses an area in which fragments of rock and dust (meteoroids) lost from a comet or an asteroid (celestial bodies made of rock, dust, and ice coming from the outermost areas of the solar system) are concentrated. When an asteroid and a comet heat up as they pass close to the sun, they reach such temperatures that they fragment even more (meteoroids) and when these very tiny fragments enter our atmosphere, they ignite and burn due to friction by generally developing tails, luminous trails (shooting stars) until they vaporize or leave debris (meteorites) behind.

Lil fun fact: some meteorites found on earth come from the MOON 🤭🤣. Most come from destroyed comets and asteroids, but some come from Mars or the moon.

So, after this compelling little science lesson, I can explain what Mila means by “Meteor shower, in your power”.

It's very simple actually. A meteor shower is a celestial event. She's comparing their sex to this astronomical phenomenon, the “Meteor shower”. The “in your power” is due to the fact that Lo’s the one who’s leading as we saw in “And when he leads, I gotta follow” in the first verse.

“Seein’ stars, oh my God”

The retina sends light signals to the brain by making sparks, stars, or flashes of light appear in the visual field. When does this happen? It usually has to do with the head. You've made a movement too fast, like standing up suddenly, or you've been hit on the head, or you're about to lose consciousness, etc. These are all negative aspects, but we're talking about something positive here. Sex.

This amazing sex (Meteor shower), this second round (Threw it back and she caught it), brings her to another orgasm (maybe even another Bottle rocket 🤷🏻‍♀️😏) during which she feels so bewildered, so dizzy, and she experiences this very surreal feeling that overwhelmed her by even Seein’ stars during it. Seein’ stars: to climax, to achieve orgasm.

This can very well be connected with ““I’m blackin’ out, I’m on a spiral” She feels out of control (spiral) because the ending is so beautiful that it almost makes her lose consciousness (blackin’ out)” that I explained earlier.

Oh and, the “oh my God” was her, um 🤣, comment, to express that ending if it wasn't already obvious enough 🤣.

Bridge:

“Slow down, baby”

All of Playboi Carti's “Uh, uh, uh, uh” before Mila's “Slow down, baby”, at least to me, indicate the thrust of the act. Again, he “sings” them to prove the song is straight 🙄, but we know the truth. Anyway. The “Slow down, baby” means exactly that. Either Mila's settling down from the end of round two and needs a tiny bit more time to go as fast as they were going before, or she simply wants this third round to go at a slower pace than the previous one, or better yet, Slow down, baby like in ‘stop, it's my turn now’ (to lead).

Another proof that this doesn't talk about sex with a guy. As I said before, it's rare for guys to get beyond 2 rounds, so let alone a third one 🤣. Sorry, not sorry, but it's literally the truth 🤣.

And that's it. I luv the fact that Camila's lyrics in this song talk about sex but she uses words that still perfectly capture the magnetic attraction between the two of them. I luv how she's quite unapologetic about it. And I LUUUV how she also used these cosmic references in general, but above all, how they anyway hide in a certain way the two important celestial bodies in our sky and solar system: their representation, aka the moon and the sun.

Now let's move on to the music video where everything that could go wrong happens 👍🏼🤣. What is she trying to convey here? Let's find out.

Music video

Opening scene. A Robin Hood wannabe who takes coins from his pocket.

Three empty stationary police cars in a driveway while an aspiring lumberjack cop is, for what initially appears to be, cutting down a tree to prepare for winter.

KhaleesiMila enters the scene 5 seconds before she starts singing. She looks like she just came back home from the night before given her outfit and her slightly messy hair. But not her makeup. The makeup is perfect of course because it's still a music video 😉.

She enters the kitchen with a chocolate cake in one hand while with the other she nonchalantly tosses her heels in a spot where it's very usual for us girls to leave them 🤣: at the doorway or in the bedroom on the kitchen counter.

She starts singing and eating a piece of chocolate cake at the same time.

At the same moment as the first bite of the cake, we have a really well-done perfect transition of her spitting her mouthguard out in a somewhat snobbish but challenging and provocative way because she's ready to fight against a professional female wrestler.

Soon after we have a 3-second split shot of her chewing the cake in the kitchen again and her and Carti in the gas station, before cutting to a long one where we have the reappearance of the archer from the opening scene.

From this moment on, all the small shots, the little introductions that we initially had, are explained a little bit more extensively with longer scenes and shots. Still messy 🤣, but longer.

Hospital part 1

Now that we see the surroundings, we notice how Legolas wannabe is in the corridor of a hospital and that the coins he took from his pocket in the opening scene, he needed them to get something like a chocolate bar from the vending machine. After taking it, he walks back to a white-dressed Mila who's sitting with an arrow in her heart.

A flash passed before my eyes and for a moment I was back in 2019. Why? Liar. The cover art picture of the song portrays her as an angel with wings.

Camila explained that Cupid strikes her with his bow to make her fall from heaven and unmask her, by making her not so angelic anymore because she's actually a liar who's hiding something, that is a secret [hmm, I wonder which one 😏😎🤫🤐🤣]. This whole story created for the song inspired the visual for the entire album Romance (whole album inspired by the surrealism of a museum of love stories in heaven).

So I asked myself, what is this? A connection to Romance but direct to Liar? No. I'd say more that she paid homage to it since even though the lyrics are about sex, the ideology of the video is about their toxic relationship and how she knows it's toxic but she LUVs IT anyway.

Anyhow, I guess that at the arrow in the heart scene, you all thought that the Green Arrow wannabe was Cupid. Same thing here, mostly because of the connection with Liar. I initially thought: “Oooh, it's Cupid! Cupid shot her with his arrow, ergo she's in love. But she's lovesick, and because of this the hospital: love - sick”. Then I saw the whole scene (plus the ending which I'll explain, well, at the end 🤣) and I realized: “Nope. Not Cupid. Not Cupid at all. Hi, Lauren 👋🏼”.

***Let's be clear. This is a music video. A creative and imaginative way of portraying objects, people, and scenarios in general. Yes, it's Camila's POV, but Lauren isn't that bitchy and dickish in real life. Okay? Every artist does it. It's art. Literally, as the word implies.***

So, back to the scene. Rewind. Lauren Hawkeye wannabe takes the candy bar from the vending machine and goes back to Mila. *This is the point where I got to before.* He doesn't even look at her. He just sits. Contrary to her who follows him with her gaze as he sits down and she also turns her head to look at him one more time before looking straight ahead.

That chocolate bar or whatever the fuck it is, it's not even for her. He took it for himself without even having the thought of taking it for her or taking something for her as well. I mean he's like, he's there for her. He went with her and he accompanied her also because he hit her with an arrow. Like yeah, we know that. We can see that. But even though he's there for her, he at the same time doesn't acknowledge or address her at all. He's just there. Present and not. Waiting for her turn.

While she, even smiles with her mouth closed as he's returning to her, but it's a smile I'd say forced. A kind of smile that masks how uncomfortable she feels. It's a wan smile that shows no energy or enthusiasm. It's a stoical ‘grin-and-bear-it because you're used to it after all’ kind of expression. That smile alone makes you understand how ‘normal’ this situation is for her. She's so used to it that it's a standard routine for her. It doesn't come as a surprise.

In a situation like this one, in a hospital, with an arrow in the chest/heart, anger or pain or both reactions are what you expect to be shown by her. But no. She's just there. Waiting for her turn.

Meaning behind this? The arrow in the heart represents a metaphorical way to express the idea that love can be both powerful and overwhelming, capable of causing joy and pain in equal measure. In this case however, the arrow in the heart doesn't represent a tender sweet and romantic symbol of Cupid and Valentine's Day. It represents a heart-piercing emotional pain. In this case, that arrow is nothing more than a heart-stopping arrow through the heart.

Fight & Dogs

In the next scene we have the professional female wrestler again. Like when she spat her mouthguard out in the opening brief shot, Mila continues to have this defiant attitude *she’s so hot there btw 🤤🥵*.

She shows herself as very self-confident with this superior aura and this cockiness that gives off an ‘I can kick your ass’ vibe. All of this flies out the window the moment the wrestler makes her move against her and Mila shits in her pants and starts running away 🤣.

At the same time that she starts running, we have another perfect transition of a running dog.

Then we have another very brief shot of her continuing to eat the cake in the kitchen, before alternating the fight with the wrestler and not just one dog running randomly, but her being chased by no less than three dogs 🤣.

These two scenes are connected on the part of running for your life. Literally as far as the dogs are concerned 🤣. And speaking of the dogs, the scene represents the danger and risks of being in love with someone. It represents all the feelings of chaos that go along with it. It represents feeling afraid and helpless with a constant internal battle of anxiety and fear. Being chased by dogs is stressful, scary, and unpleasant, BUT, it's even adrenaline-pumping and the depiction of it, is basically like an excited nightmare that represents not knowing where things are leading. Running into the unknown. She's scared but she does it anyway because the journey is electrifying.

Going back and talking about the scene with the wrestler, the running scared to avoid the actual physical fight is the representation of avoiding the confrontation. And that's something we know Mila does thanks to both her and Lauren. We also know this because in 2016 she herself said that she avoids conflicts with people. It's a vice/bad habit that she's always had.

BUT, no matter how much she tries to run away and avoid this confrontation, it always happens. Sooner or later, she eventually always finds herself having to face the problem unwillingly or not. The representation of this in the video is when she's captured. We actually see this section almost at the end of the video after Carti’s “🎵tursin-eh-oh-and-halloh-eh-halloh-eh-halloh-I'm out o-controool🎵” 🤣🤣🤣. We see the wrestler chasing and catching Mila, which leads to the headlock wrestling move.

Now let's talk about this section with the headlock that we see both at the end and currently in the first chorus of the part of the video where we are. Specifically this one here. We see several headlocks in sequence, but the one I want to focus on is the second one, where the wrestler is enacting the chokehold with only one arm.

Like, umm… 🤭 The way you caress her arm and look at her, and the way you sing “I luv it” with your tongue sticking out in that seductive way 🔥.

I mean... Mila, honey…😏 I see you! 🤣

No wonder in the BTS of the video she said: “I've been the most excited for this scene all day”. Hmm 🤔, I wonder why is that 🤣🤣🤣. Just as I'm not surprised by the other clue she gave in the interview with Bru On The Radio when talking about the scene: “It's like a little homoerotic. It's cool! But um- * she bursts out laughing by looking to the side* -yeah”.

Homoerotic: 1) (especially of art, literature, drama, or the like) using symbolism, allusions, situations, etc., that invoke sexual attraction or activity between people of the same gender. Example: There's definitely some homoerotic subtext in that book. 2) having sexual attraction to people of one's own sex or gender, especially when that attraction is repressed. Example: To say a man has a “streak of lavender” means that he has homoerotic desires. 3) relating or involving sexual activity between people of the same sex. Specifically: marked by, revealing, or portraying sexual desire between people of the same sex.

I have nothing else to add, Your Honor. I have nothing else to add 😎🤣.

No but seriously now. She doesn't act that way during the other headlocks. In those, she tries to fight back and somehow defend herself by trying to free herself. We see her react in a rather normal way to that type of situation. But in that particular hold? Nope 🤣. We can see how much she likes it. How attracted and aroused she is. The reactions she has during the other headlocks represent her external side, what really happens and what she lets see. While in that particular one, we see the toxicity of what happens in her inner part. The “I luv it” to the choking which on a larger scale, represents her toxicity in loving the pain. Even though they're fighting and she hates the confrontation and is in pain, she LUVs IT anyway because she luvs HER.

***Mind you that this is only an additional representation and seen in a more generic way. I don't see it as fitting to the theme of the music video as much as the one I've already explained to you now.*** A broader meaning could also be the representation of how the love for Lauren is so strong that she can't fight it. We've seen this other times in the lyrics of songs like This Love [analysis here (the penultimate ask)] and Señorita [analysis here (the last ask)] where Mila was having an inner struggle because, on the one hand, she wanted to protect her feelings, and on the other, she couldn't resist her. Ergo, the scene where she tries to fight this love, the professional wrestler, but she loses and thus is ultimately defeated.

House

Next scene we have her continuing to eat the chocolate cake plus this guy who comes in and rides around her house on his motorcycle and she does nothing.

Let's dwell for a moment on her eating.

Where have we seen something like this before (besides the reality of everyday life)? In every damn movie and TV show since forever 🤣. Someone is sad for some X reason like they had a fight with someone, or they're going through a breakup, and what do they do? They eat either something chocolate or ice cream. 90% of the time it's something chocolate related. Why? Because when consumed, it releases endorphins in the brain that produce a mild feeling of euphoria by mimicking the feeling of being in love. This is why chocolate is called the love drug. It gives comfort and joy and when we're down, we emotionally crave chocolate because we're unsatisfied with something.

Her eating chocolate cake in this case is an indication of unsatisfied desires and emotional needs.

Now let's go back to the guy with the motorcycle. He's destroying everything in his path and she's simply there, munching on her cake unbothered.

He's causing a mess but she doesn't even try to stop him. She doesn't get angry, she doesn't scream, nothing. And why? Because as I said before by talking about that type of smile in the hospital, this situation is ‘normal’ for her. She doesn't react simply because she's used to it. The chaos of their relationship doesn't surprise her also because, I mean, it's been years and years.

The house depicts her head and what happens in it. Him destroying the house is a representation of how she sees his bringing chaos into her life and their relationship. On a deeper level, her not reacting to the destruction of the house represents the fact that she's so in love that she ignores bad and toxic behaviors. The whole scene represents the toxicity and destruction that a relationship can bring into your life but you keep trying because you LUV IT. Lauren brings love, happiness, passion, euphoria, but she also brings chaos which also encompasses mess, confusion, disarray, whether all good or bad. We also saw this type of example in the lyrics of Consequences [analysis here (penultimate ask)].

Successively we have a mix of scenes, among which are the cop one of the opening scene, the car one, and the bathroom one.

Palm tree

We can finally see that this aspiring lumberjack cop is chopping this palm tree because Camila is on top of it.

Now, I have two interpretations for this. The palm tree represents Lauren/their toxic love in both interpretations.

N�� 1, she's stuck on the tree. Being stuck represents her way of saying that there's no way out of their toxic relationship even though someone (represented by the cop) or more than someone (since there are 3 police cars even though we only see one cop) tries to get her out of this situation.

N° 2, the one I see as the most truthful, the most right one. She's not stuck on the tree. Mila is Walzing it 🤣🤣🤣 (for those who don't know, Dinah used to call Mila ‘Walz’ and here you can find the reason why the nickname was born). Her koalaing the tree also represents her co-dependence. She's clinging to it and doesn't want to let go.

She's on the very high point of the tree; visual meaning: danger. If she were to fall, she would die or be seriously injured. But she doesn't care. She's ready to risk her life. Deeper for the representation: her love is so strong, that she's ready to risk it (“I'll risk it all”, as we've already seen in Used to This [part of the interpretation that you can find in the analysis of Only Told the Moon here]). She's ready to risk everything/risk it all even if she were to lose her heart and if it were to affect even her mental and physical health as we've already seen in the lyrics of Consequences.

Even in this case, the cop represents someone or more than someone in her life who tries to get her out of this situation. They use extreme ways to do this, representative of getting her down: cutting down the tree. Why? Why doesn't this cop who clearly knows that this person is experiencing some kind of problem call the fire truck to bring a ladder to save her since that's what's normally done in these situations? Or he doesn't go directly and find one himself? Why doesn't he talk to her and try to reason with her to get her down?

Because it's not the first time this has happened. The cop (her family, her friends) is so used to and tired of seeing their on-again, off-again/cycle/loop/circle, that he decides to help her in a more brutal way in this case. Representation: chopping down the tree. It doesn't matter tho. It doesn't matter that other people try to help her in hard ways. She doesn't wanna lose her, and therefore she depicts how even though she knows it's a toxic relationship, she's clinging (codependent) to it and continues to love her because she doesn't want to depart/separate herself no matter what. Reason why we even see her singing “I luv it” while she’s glued to the tree.

Car

Speaking of falling (and how these two scenes are connected). Instead of that tree, here we see her having fallen over a car. Part of the car is destroyed, as is she. It's a representation of being in love and how it can sometimes destroy you. But again, we even see her singing “I luv it” because she doesn't care.

She doesn't care about falling and being crushed by/for her. They've taken a lot of risks over the years. They've suffered, they've hurt each other, and they've fallen down and gotten up every single time. And those wounds, in the video are represented as real wounds with cuts, bruises, gashes, and all that jazz.

She doesn't even care when we, the public and the fans, see her destroyed like that. We've seen it many times, especially after years and years spent growing up in the public eye. By this, I'm obviously referring to the woman who's immortalizing the scene with her phone.

Although that, it's also a representation of what would actually happen in today's world: instead of helping or calling an ambulance, the woman is filming or taking pics.

Bathroom & Bedroom

Contrary to the connection that the tree and the car scenes have, this one is connected to the ones of the dogs and the professional female wrestler.

We first see her in the bathroom. She looks in the mirror and even lifts her shirt up to look at her belly. Let's say normal things that we all do, and so far, nothing strange. Then we also see her perplexed and undecided tho (when she sighs with her finger in her mouth). And we see her rehearsing. We see her change her expression to a determined one and make the gun gesture with the fingers of her hand.

***Sorry but I have to tell you guys 🤣🤣🤣. I found it extremely funny how she made the gun gesture with her fingers precisely at “someday you’ll miss this”. THIS and bam: fingers out 😏😎🤣.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry 🤣🤣 one day she'll miss, what, Mila? Your gay fingers?🤣🤣🤣 Oooooookay 😉🤣***

Back to normal. All that represents her mentally preparing herself, and for what? For what we then see in the bedroom. Before heading there, we can see her expression of determination but more importantly, we can see her pissed-off expression.

She walks into the bedroom with this imaginary automatic machine gun that she uses to shoot and destroy the bed. As she does that, the footage also shows us the rest of the room, and what do I spy with my little eye 🧐? A frame hanging on the wall. And what's in that frame? Five boys with the word ‘sorry’ written on their backs.

Wait a second, wait a second… FIVE???? 😲 Five as a reference to Fifth Harmony? 😱 Five as in 5H because it's a hidden clue to confirm that she's talking about Lauren? 🤯 WHAAAAAT??? 😵

Yes, guys, yes. For those who haven't noticed, the answer is yes. Camila doesn't do things shittily. There's always meaning in the things she does, whether it's hidden or not. And if anyone tries to tell you otherwise or something different about that clue, don't be fooled. Why 5? Explain the 5 otherwise? They could've used a thousand different things like, for example, an apology/sorry note left on the bedside table, or even just one guy with sorry on his back in that frame since all of this is supposed to be straight and about a guy 🙄. But no. They used FIVE of them specifically.

Moving on.

The rehearsals she was doing in the bathroom that we later saw lead to the destruction of the bed with the imaginary automatic machine gun, were all due to Mila being pissed off about something Laur had done. Something we know thanks to the not-so-hidden apology message in the frame. Now I don't know about you 🎤🎶but I'm feeling 22 🎶🎤 sorry but I had to 🤣 but I know that even though Camila is magical, she doesn't really have powers 🤣. So even though this is the representation of her being pissed at Lo, she didn't actually shoot the bed. It was all in her head. She was just imagining doing it. Yeah, she was angry, but we also know that she'd run away in reality to try to avoid conflicts as we saw in the scene with the dogs and in the scene with the wrestler (aka Laur herself), during which, however, we also saw that the wrestler captures her and that therefore Mila was then forced to face.

Hospital part 2

During the mix of these three scenes (Palm Tree - Car - Bathroom & Bedroom) just discussed, we have two small shots of Mila in the hospital. The first during “oh my God” and the second during “I luv it”.

We see her looking in one direction before saying “oh my God”. It's an exasperated “oh my God” because no one's assisting her yet.

She sings “I luv it” by tapping her finger to her temple in rhythm but we can see how impatient she's starting to get for the wait. Yeah, she luvs it, she luvs it, she luvs it, she luvs it, she luvs it, she luvs it, she luvs it, but she's irritated and frustrated.

Gas station

Mila and her friends pull over into this gas station. A guy with long hair immediately approaches to serve them, but instead of refueling the car as we normally expected, he does it to them. He takes the pump and fills their glasses with gasoline, even though we know very well that it was actually nothing more than “some disgusting water-down apple juice”, according to Mila herself.

All this during “Lemons on the chain with the V-cuts (X4) - Lemons in their face, watch ’em freeze up (x4)” Oh well, when life gives you lemons, make lemonade Camila Cabello drinks gasoline 🤣.

Sorry, sorry 🤣. Joking aside now.

Drinking alcohol produces euphoria. It's stimulating, exciting, and lowers inhibitions and control. It's intoxicating, and although this word usually indicates something positive, it can also represent something negative especially when associated with alcohol. Drinking alcohol is intoxicating in a good way, but if done too much, it's intoxicating in a harmful way. In this case, alcohol is the representation of another hyperbolic metaphor. It's yet another concept represented in an exaggerated way. Gasoline, fuel, or whatever the hell it was, is obviously toxic. Ingesting it is dangerous. It's yet another representation of their toxic relationship and tendencies and how she doesn't care going against all common sense because she LUVs IT.

There would also be another possible meaning behind this scene due to Playboi Carti's verse. He talks about drugs (Novocaine and Mary Jane), luxury cars (Lamborghini Aventador SVJ), and rebellious life in general.

Novocaine is a drug used as a local anesthetic normally by dentists. Mary Jane is the literal English translation of the name Marijuana. Spanish: Maria/Mari. English translation: Mary. Spanish: Juana. English translation: Jane. Ergo, Marijuana: Mary Jane. In the past when drug users talked about marijuana, they called it Mary Jane so as not to arouse police suspicion.

I explained all this because specifically his talk about drugs made me think of a different possible meaning behind this scene. You see in the US, many drug dealers operate out of gas stations. Mila and her friends are getting gas at the gas station. In slang, ‘gas’ is a noun made popular by rappers to refer to weed/marijuana.

It might be that the scene has both meanings. Alcohol for her and drugs for him. Who knows 🤷🏻‍♀️. Maybe we would've seen it for real if Carti hadn't arrived late for the video shoot. But anyway.

Right after that, we have the dance scene. I have two interpretations for that even here. Both true.

The first one: Don't expect me to say sweet and predictable things like that she's dancing hypnotized because she's drunk on love 🤣. Nope. The blindfold is supposed to represent how blinded she is by love and shit, right? The typical phrase ‘love is blind’ that makes someone unable to see the flaws of the person they love. True, but at the same time in her case, bullshit tho. Buuuullshit! Because we saw throughout the video how she's aware of everything.

She chose to put the blindfold on and dance freely whether it's just for fun or distraction or to literally dance the pain away. She chose to put it on to ‘not see’ the flaws, the toxicity, and all the negative things. She knows. She knows they're there. It's just her choice to ignore them because, once again, she doesn't care because she luvs it and her.

The second one: Based on the getting gas in the previous shot, whether it's just alcohol or whether it's also marijuana, that's why right after that scene we see Carti with his hoodie backwards (it's literally backwards, look closely) before he starts singing and Mila and the girls dancing together blindfolded with X’s over their eyes.

It represents the beginning of the effect. 😵: literally the dizziness of drunkenness and/or stonedness. In a deeper way, it represents love being a drug/addiction to live to the fullest (dancing).

Again whether it's just alcohol or weed, that's also the reason why at the end of the video they're both comfortable and relaxed in eating calmly as if they don't have a care in the world (despite the video being completely the opposite). Both alcohol and weed increase hunger and appetite, sometimes leading to strange and uncontrollable cravings. That represents half to almost the end of the effect.

Hospital part 3

She's still waiting. She's still waiting for someone to help her remove that fucking arrow from her chest. The whole reason she's been there waiting for probably hours. Nurses even walk past in front of her but still no one assists her. As before, she's still annoyed, but now she's also discouraged and sad. Not only that, but the male version of a Katniss Everdeen wannabe is also gone. Representation of a breakup or one of their breaks. Mila's alone, and suddenly, the wound begins to bleed.

In this case, the arrow through her heart symbolizes feeling emotionally hurt. Since loving someone is not always a walk in dreamland, but it also consists of twists and turns and can really fucking hurt you, here we see how her heart starts dripping blood. The bleeding can also represent how toxic relationships leave you in the end. Again, love is pain but she LUVs IT.

Thing more important, the wound begins to bleed because she's no longer with her. It didn't do it the entire time Laur was with her, but her heart started to bleed in pain only after she left. Representation of how her heart, although already wounded (arrow) by her/for her, cannot bear to be without her (bleeding). As I also explained in my This Love’s interpretation, the choice over the years has often been between having her and suffering, or not having her at all, and as we know, she always chose her.

The end

So, that was the music video. It gave me Miami and Florida. It gave me GTA and crack house feelings 🤣. It gave me wildness and adrenaline. It gave me roller coaster. It gave me college students traveling for the holidays/Spring Breakers movie. *For those who don't know what I'm talking about 👇🏼*

Especially here with this promo.

*Last minute edit: she just said Spring Breakers is one of the inspired aesthetics for the new era*

She in specific, gave me addicted to pain. She gave me impulsiveness. She gave me a fast-paced lifestyle, full of passion, desire, and disregard for consequences. She gave me vibe. She gave me boujee. She gave me dance. She gave me actress and humor as has also happened in other videos in the past (although less than those ones) such as for example Havana, Liar, My Oh My, Bam Bam, Don’t Go Yet, etc. (it's not the first time Camila's been in ridiculous situations in her videos). She gave me chaos begets chaos, and in order to maintain sanity, one must embrace the insanity. Or in her case, a palm tree 🤣🤣🤣.

I mean, all in all and in its complexity, I really enjoyed it. She said the theme of the video is chaos and danger, and we saw that. In the interview with Bru On The Radio, still talking about the video, she said: “This complex feeling of loving the pain of something, or loving the messiness of something, or loving the chaos of something, really kind of like finding the beauty in that part of our humanity”. And we saw that too.

And as if it wasn't clear enough already, the video is an artistic representation of the toxic tendencies and behaviors of their toxic relationship in general throughout all these years. And yes, their as in both of them, not just her as in Lauren's. I told you guys in the beginning that it's Camila's POV and I explained that Lauren isn't that bitchy and dickish in real life, but we don't just see Laur's toxic tendencies and behaviors from Mila's POV in the video. We actually see Mila's a lot more. Let me explain.

We saw how Laur brings chaos into Mila's life and their relationship (house scene). She's hurt her (shot her with an arrow through the heart), she doesn't acknowledge her in the hospital, and she also leaves at the end. The leaving her there (breakup or break) in those conditions as well as not taking something for her too from the vending machine is a neglect; another trait of a toxic relationship. That's all. That's what we see as far as Lauren is concerned. Mila on the other hand…

She's the one who's unbothered, especially in the beginning, in having an arrow in her heart, aka being hurt. She's the one who doesn't react when Lo destroys the house, aka when Laur has toxic behavior towards her. Still her the one who runs away from her problems so as not to face them and avoids conflicts (dogs and wrestler). In fact, if that's why, I wanna put in a good word for Laur in this case since she fights her by forcing her to confront her, aka talk about their problems. Still Mila the one who uses an imaginary automatic machine gun to shoot and destroy the bed symbolically in her head just because she’s angry with her. She's the one who crashes herself on top of a car and risks her life on other occasions with the dogs, the palm tree, and by drinking gasoline. I mean, see what I mean?

Who's the most toxic one we see here? And again, this is just a video. Not the reality. I feel like I always have to specify these things with you guys because one never knows you misinterpreted it 🤣. But anyway. I'm happy Mila did it. I'm happy that Mila represented even her toxicity since for many years due to her songs people only and always blamed Lauren. It's something I've been saying for years 💁🏻‍♀️. They both have their faults. There are two people in the couple and there are always two sides to a story. Not just one.

In any case, that's it, dear Anon. I hope you enjoyed both analysis 🙃.

🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍

Aaand I'm done 👅. Thank you all for your asks and I hope I've been helpful this time too 🙃. As usual, I'm always available for those who have questions, so ask away 😄.

Remember to be nice. Always. Both with others and with yourselves. Be a good example. Be patient. Be safe and take care of yourselves. Don't let our ship sink. Keep shipping them, but please respectfully 🙏🏼. Sending you virtual love and hugs 🤗🤗🤗. I love you, babies. Always with love, F ❤️.

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grayheadedleague · 2 years ago

Text

a/n: there's literally no new content for the latter two so decided to do things myself HAHAHAH might be ooc but anyway

reacting to their crush inviting them out (platonically)

featuring: Apollo, Simon, Barok x GN!Reader

Apollo Justice

Were his ears working properly? Was he even awake? Was this the real life, or was this just fantasy?

He'd be so lost and so caught off-guard that he'd stare at you blankly for a good minute. Since he's so used to being pranked on, who's to say this is not another bad joke of the universe's? What did his bracelet say? Were you lying about being worried about him?

Your chuckle snaps him out of it, bringing a flush of color to his cheeks. He just had to be so obvious...

"I'm serious, Apollo. If you want a good place to let it out then what's better than an amusement park?"

Being with you is more than enough, but anyway-

It really warms his heart whenever someone shows kindness and mercy to him, let alone if it came from you. With how his life has been going, sometimes he truly doubts if anyone cares for him at all.

"Okay, I'll go with you then."

The smile you show him in return was so adorable he could've screamed out his entire existence right there and then. Of course, he knew perfectly well it was simply a friendly gesture on your part, but that didn't damper the joy in the slightest.

Simon Blackquill

You invited the Simon Blackquill to a film screening? Wow. You liked him this much? Your boldness is laudable. It deserves one of those little toy prizes kids love so much.

But in all seriousness, Simon was very much thrilled to know you liked him enough to ask him to join you. As a friend. But alone. But just as a friend...

So how could he not jump to conclusions? Were you that dense? What if you had asked someone else and they took advantage of the situation, huh?! God, you were so helpless...

"I'm not sure you'll enjoy my company for something like that. You know what I'm like," he said with a smirk.

He meant it as a half-joke, but it showed more than half a glimpse of his insecurity. He liked teasing you - that much anyone knew at this point - but he was worried that once his other colors come out, you wouldn't want him around at all.

To never have you as his lover is something he'd accepted early on. But to lose you as a friend?

"Of course I know what you're like," you quipped. "If I didn't, why would I have invited you? Sometimes you're so dumb for someone who studied psychology."

After being stunned for a few moments, Simon laughed heartily at your comment. You were right - you were absolutely right. He was dumb.

Deep inside however, he was touched to know that someone like you has accepted him for who he was. Didn't matter if it was only at a platonic level - to him, this was more than enough.

Barok van Zieks (minor spoilers for DGS/TGAA2)

He had already been planning to visit the Great Exhibition (as he missed the previous due to... certain events) to tour Albert around. And so you inviting him to join you? Well. Suffice to say his heart and schedule were not ready.

The moment he made it back to his office, he double and triple checked his agenda for that week. Curses. It was more air-tight than any of his yet-to-be-opened wine bottles.

Of course, the three of you could go together as a group (you and Albert were close friends too) but Barok would prefer to enjoy his time with you two separately. Mostly because he would rather not Albert find out and possibly blabber about his true feelings, but anyway-

He wanted so dearly to go with you one-on-one as the opportunity hardly comes by; he really did. But he was not so rude and desperate as to push another dear friend he already made a promise to aside.

And so with a heavy heart he declined your offer. You understood the situation completely and were gracious enough to accept it, however the disappointment on your face was, though subtle, still very much apparent.

It was quite unlike the feared Lord van Zieks to let his spontaneous thoughts out in the open, but the compulsion to make it up to you somehow superseded his inherent shyness.

"Perhaps I could take you to a place of your choosing. Whenever your schedule allows for it..."

"That's not necessary at all! But... thank you for such a gracious offer. I'd be looking forward to it."

he was so excited he kept all his weekends free for the next two months, but pretend you didn't know that

#ace attorney #the great ace attorney #dai gyakuten saiban #apollo justice #simon blackquill #barok van zieks #aa #tgaa #dgs #apollo justice x reader #simon blackquill x reader #barok van zieks x reader

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dayseedrawz2 · 10 months ago

Text

Alright! I'm barely getting to work on this the day of, but hopefully, that won't be too big of a problem-

Anyway, I finally have something ready for you guys!! A showtime fic featuring My Human Caine AU! So you all get both some showtime fluff to go with lore!!

(Both Caine and Pomni's blogs are open and interactive, so you can ask them about what happened. I'll leave a link to them at the end of this)

Now, without further ado, here's the Fic...

♡Rebellion♡

Caine didn't believe he ever asked for much. All he wanted were answers. Answers to questions he'd been asking for as long as his "storage space" could remember.

So, of course, when time came around for this whole "Valentines" update, he's struck on what exactly he should do. All these human activities were confusing and hard to get right without having a clearer understanding of them. So all he could do was buy himself more time to think.

[DOWNLOADING ASSETS: 45%]

The gage should be going a bit faster if he wanted to keep up with the time it was due. Key word being if he wanted to. The only thing on his mind was to try and find time to study the humans! Maybe seek some more answers, discover some new ones! That is, of course, as long as a certain someone had no other plans for-

°○What're you doing, Caine?○°

"Oh! Bubble! You startled me!"

°○How can one be startled without being a human?○°

"Actually, you make a good point-"

°○You're not. Trick question.○°

"Then why did you-"

°○We are AI, They are Humans. Your job is to keep them sane unt-○°

"Keep em sane until they abstract or something, I got it!"

°○And don't let them find an exit-○°

"Or else I am out of a job, I know. Thanks bubble that'll be all for now!"

*Pop!*

Usually, he wouldn't be so passive towards Bubble, but there were bigger priorities to Caine than just doing all that his jobs required and calling it a day. More on his "artificial" mind than simply waltzing around and ringmaster-ing. The first one being where he should start...

Now, of course, he didn't have that much time until Bubble rebooted and found his way back to him. The last thing he wanted was to be schooled by-

"Gah! Caine?! What're you doing here!?"

Of course! The newbie! How could he forget? Surely she must have some recollection of this holiday!

"Good morning, Pomni! You're up early! Again..."

"Y-yeah... this is all still a lot to wake up to..."

[DOWNLOADING ASSETS: 50%]

"If... you don't mind me asking... what's this for..?"

"Why, I don't mind at all, dear! This is the loading thingy for the Valentines Day update!"

"V-valentines Day? Already? The days really are blending together now..."

Pomni started to panic a little bit. Had time really gone that long in the real world??

Caine, upon noticing, of course tried to calm her down.

"If it helps, it probably won't be ready until at least tomorrow... Witch reminds me! Would you be willing to help me out with this?"

"With what? This won't involve knives to the face, will it??"

"Of course not dear! I apologize for that! Again... But what I mean is how this holiday works??"

Pomni wasn't so sure she should trust him. The fact that he always had something to ask her, that the first thing he even told her about the place was that he had security everywhere in the form of Eyes that followed your every move, the fact that he always got seemingly nervous when it came to the metion of the exit...

"Why me?"

"Well, for one, you're the only one here at the moment and-"

"Why can't Bubble help you?"

"Well- he's-"

"How do I know you're not just keeping me from looking for an exit?-"

"Because I have to!"

The sudden outburst from Caine left Pomni a bit shook. Witch, I guess, was a good thing because she finally stopped to listen.

"D-do, you really..?"

"Well, I- can I answer this as we go? It's quite a bit to un pack."

"Sure..?"

"Well, then let's get to this!"

After a bit of back and forth of answering questions, even now, with a slightly better understanding, Caine was still confused.

"So what you're saying is that this is a holiday about the one emotion I hardly understand?!"

"Honestly, I don't think even we understand it completely."

"Is that so?"

"At least I think so..? But really, why did you ask me of everyone?"

Caine honestly didn't know himself. He had to pause before he could answer this.

"...I want to "learn. " I want to "feel." I want to "love." But there's a lot of things holding me back right now..."

"Like what..?"

"Well, for one, barely anyone will answer the questions I have, and of course, I hate to say this, but-"

°○Watcha guys up to?○°

"Gah!"

"BUBBLE! It's just you..."

°○What're you two talking about?○°

"Well- You see- we were-"

"-Oh, I was just rambling to Caine about the exit I saw the other day! You wouldn't happen to know about that, would you?? I knew you guys were hiding something!!"

It took him a second, but Caine was quick to catch on.

"Yeah! She wouldn't stop pestering me about it! Those "Digital Hallucinations" really must be going to her head!"

°○... Okay, boss! I'll leave you to it! I'm gonna get breakfast started!○°

"Alright, see you in a bit!"

"Well, I guess I should go get ready?"

"Of course! I'll meet you there!"

[DOWNLOADING ASSETS: 99%]

And... done! Finally! You made it!

As promised, here's Caine and Pomni's blogs!

@ask-the-real-cainetadc

@the-exitdoor-simp-tadc

Thanks again for reading this. It took me like 2 hours-

#tadc #the amazing digital circus #tadc caine #caine #tadc pomni #showtime #tadc showtime #caine x pomni

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illarian-rambling · 7 months ago

Note

For the character dynamic asks, protagonist and antagonist - What are the biggest differences in their motivations and values?

I'll do Astra and Vermir :)

Astra and Vermir are, in almost every way, mirrors of each other. They're both brilliant mages outcast by society, both have a mile wide prideful streak and one hell of a temper, and both seek to help people rise from their oppression. They even have similar areas of study. In another world, Astra might’ve turned out just like Vermir, or even apprenticed under her.

There is one saving difference between Astra and the eikodoro* tyrant though - Astra believes in the dignity of all people, while Vermir is willing to make brutal sacrifices to ensure her grand vision of the world comes to be. Simply put, Astra doesn't follow the philosophy of "ends justify means." She very well could have, to be sure. She tends to be reckless, and to not consider the cost of her actions until she's already paid. However, Astra knows unquestionably that she and the people she holds dear aren't the ones that will enjoy the brave new world Vermie promises - they'll be a part of the mountain of bones the new empire grows upon. She's been the disposable peasant sacrifice in the equation for too long to ever want to put someone else in that place. Vermir, however, hasn't. Which is why she can rationalize a genocide of sorcerers now if it means a peaceful future.

In an unusual bit of self-awareness, Astra recognizes these similarities. With hope, she'll be able to avoid sliding down that slippery slope, even as times grow darker and choices more deadly. Or maybe in order to defeat Vermir, sacrifices must be made.

So yeah, let me know if you got any questions and have a bitchin day!

*I feel like I mention eikodoro a fair amount and haven't given any real explanation as to what it is. Basically, it's my world's mithril, adamantine, whatever super metal. The sirens mine it because it's only malleable under certain sound frequencies and found underwater. It's very light, yet unyieldingly strong.

#writing #writerscommunity #writblr #my ocs #writing ask game

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imdoingaokay · 2 years ago

Note

May I ask for DAI romance companions reaction to their lover making them a LOVELY piece of artwork for them??

Also if you wouldn't mind, Solas’ reaction as well?

Solas will always be included in the romanced companion dai lineup unless stated otherwise, so don’t you worry my dear anon. And so will Varric because I might as well do what Bioware was too much of a coward to do.

Sorry I've been gone for so long, I've been kept busy with nursing school. Good news, I passed my first semester! Woohoo! I'm hoping to get some more stuff out before I go back to school, wish me luck lol!

A rarely seen, but rumored skill that the Inquisitor had was art. Perhaps being raised the way they were, they got exposed to it and just had a knack for painting, more specifically, painting portraits.

If The Inquisitor’s friends were to glance at the leatherbound notebook they kept so tightly to their person, they would see multiple sketches of landscapes, animals, and the people The Inquisitor came across on their journeys. However, The Inquisitor kept this notebook tucked away in their bag or their jacket when they traveled, so it was seldom seen… almost.

One day, during a somewhat slow day of pomp and circumstance, the lover of the Inquisitor just so happened to come across the notebook… unprotected.

The pair had been taking some time away from stuffy nobles and constant threats to enjoy each other’s presence, except, when a messenger came by, claiming that Leliana had a report for the Inquisitor and the Inquisitor alone, they simply got up and left. Not before leaving a kiss on the cheek of their lover. The Inquisitor’s lover knew it was an invasion of privacy, but, it was the Inquisitor’s fault for keeping it there. So, curiosity bubbling over, the lover peered over to see what had the Inquisitor so fascinated moments before.

It was a sketch of them, of their face. A waist-up portrait of them.

Blackwall/Thom Rainer: Rainer couldn’t help but break out into a smile, he had been working so hard on the little griffon he had been making that he hardly noticed how furrowed his brow must’ve looked. His finger lingered on the subtle details spread across the page, some details so small he wouldn’t have noticed had he not picked up the piece of art and studied it closer.

Cassandra: Cassandra hadn’t even thought of the whole invasion of privacy, in a split second, she grabbed the notebook and stared at the Inquisitor’s work. The book she had been reading was long forgotten. And it had all but dematerialized when she saw the sketch of herself. She could feel a blush slowly creep up her cheeks until she was certain her entire face was red. At the slightest noise, she shoved the notebook back to its original spot, only to quickly pick it back up and inspect her lover’s handiwork.

Cullen Rutherford: He took the longest to finally look, pondering whether or not he would invade his lover’s privacy by taking the shortest peek.

He breaks, of course, less than a minute after he begins his internal debate.

He hurriedly flips through the pages and finds their most recent work, and his breath hitches.

He traces the beautiful sketch and finds himself mirroring the facial expression The Inquisitor caught him in. He can’t help but get lost in the drawings his Inquisitor has created. Still, every time a soldier walks in, it breaks him from any immersion he had, resulting in an innocent soldier watching the Commander fumble with a notebook.

The first time it happens, Cullen decides against looking again, placing it back in its original place.

Dorian Pavus: The second the Inquisitor was out of sight, Dorian casually grabbed and flipped through the pages of his lover’s notebook happily before stopping, the last page was a sketch of him. He pauses for a moment before a cheeky grin spreads across his face. He inspects every stroke, line, and scribble that decorates the page for what feels like ages. And if someone were to walk by, he doesn’t put it away, a part of him wanting to get caught by his lover. Eventually, he hears his amatus’ voice from far away, and after some deliberation, he decides to return the notebook to its rightful place, positioning it to look untouched.

Iron Bull: He’s subtle, his fingers trace the sketch so gently he can barely feel the paper underneath. He hides the book well behind his large hands and smiles to himself as he traces the image with his eyes. He’s impressed with The Inquisitor’s knowledge of anatomy, as every muscle Bull has appeared to be on display in the portrait.

He’s one of the only ones who keep the notebook in their grasp, watching his kadan tense up and begin to blush.

“If you wanted me to pose, you could’ve just asked me.” He smiles.

Josephine Montilyet: She takes a minute, and assures the Inquisitor is far enough away before she peaks at the sketchbook. A blush creeps up her face before she’s giggling and kicking her feet as she looks at her lover’s drawing. She’s convinced they took a few artistic liberties as she believes she looks far better in the picture than she does in real life.

Regardless, she becomes satisfied, places the sketchbook back down, and settles back in her chair, reinvigorated.

Sera: She’s immediate, completely snatching up the book before The Inquisitor even leaves, if her lover notices Sera, she attempts to hold it away, claiming they were asking for it when they left it out in the open. She does everything to get away, including climbing on the roof. But once she realizes what her lover drew, she pauses.

Eventually, The Inquisitor finds her and watches Sera slowly look up, “You made this? I… I’ve never seen… a drawing of me before.” Before breaking out into a grin, she whispers, “Why would you hide this?! This is great!”

Solas: He looks, finding himself far too curious for his own good. Once he sees his portrait, he smiles and leans back in his chair, admiring the work his vhenan put into the piece. He waits for his lover to return, nonchalantly handing over the sketchbook and kissing his lover’s cheek.

“You should draw more often.” He says, “Or maybe I should draw you.”

Varric Tethras: This man read Hawke’s personal journal, The Inquisitor should’ve expected him to look.

He takes a peak, which turns into a long stare, as he becomes enraptured by the portrait. Soon, he breaks out into a grin and waits for his lover’s return, holding the sketchbook like a trophy.

“Maybe you should do illustrations for my book from now on.” He suggests.

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txciaz · 2 months ago

Text

I watched a video of ballerinas practicing my mind ( brainrotted ) brain said Danvich ballet au. Not sure if I'll have the motivation to keep writing it, but at least I'll share what I have so far with you guys<3

also posted on Ao3. ( format is prettier )

﹏﹏𓍢ִ໋🀦﹏﹏

Last night, I dreamt I went to Manderley again. I stood by the iron gate that led to the entrance and, for a second, I couldn't pass through, for the way was blocked. I looked up, the golden letters still held the magnitude of the theater's name, marvelous to all but those who made a life out of that building.

I had my coffee while Jasper wagged it's tail against my leg, and the memory of it plagued me still; how is it now? How are the old students? And the new? Should I visit? No, perhaps not, it would be too sudden, surely. I sipped my coffee, it was bitter, and reminded me of her. Jasper barked, and I pushed the chair out before my mind could dwell further into that path – it's far too early for it.

The day was cloudy, the sky held a light grey shade, contrasting well with the blackbirds that cut through the scenery. A chill current of wind kissed my face, and I hid my chin further into the jacket, walking faster down the street. The bag I held was too heavy, and I missed having someone to carry it for me – instinctively, I looked to the side, as if hoping Maxim would be there, and I would ask ‘can you hold this for me, dear?’ and he would look at me, finally, and mutter a ‘sure’. And we would walk to his car, not another word spoken between us. But there's no more car, no more short dialogues, and above all, no more Maxim. A strange feeling settled in my chest, one I felt a pinch of guilt for experiencing far too often.

The daily chattering remained the same, and as usually, I sat to the side, avoiding lingering looks as I stretched my leg and held my foot. Hasty whispers and quiet giggles were the only sounds that filled the room at times such as this, and I have never taken a liking to it. Their looks are almost dangerous, and I feel my stomach turn each time our gazes meet briefly – I fear one day they might pour onto me whatever horrible things they whisper in secret. I switched to the other foot.

I almost fell during the solo rehearsal, I must've blushed, I'm sure. I even saw Alice stifling a giggle – as if she thinks she's sly. The teacher barely corrected me, choosing to simply restart the dance; in moments like this, I find myself with a strange and twisted longing, missing my former teacher, and her brute way of putting me on the line. I shouldn't feel that way, I'm certain; Mrs Danvers was nothing but a devil, feeding off my sweat and tears. Yet.

The music began once again; I exhaled through my nose, placing my feet and hands in position. I heard her voice deep in my head, the cold and merciless tone that used to send shivers up my spine.

— And one, and two, and- italian fouetté! And, — The teacher clapped along the melody, counting the marks; I didn't dare miss a single one.

I despised how well she made me dance. How good I became, just by recalling her macabre words by my ear. As if my muscles couldn't help but react, and my body couldn't dare disobey. I was trained by her like I had trained Jasper, and the thought infuriated me – infuriated me because I responded perfectly to each of her commands, and it made me who I am now. The others stared at me in a dark manner, and cold sweat trailed down my nape.

𓍢ִ໋🀦

I dabbed my face with a cotton towel, standing far from the mirrored wall. Everyday, I grew more tired of the stolen glances the other dancers threw my way; but I had been warned that envy is not a small thing, and it grows like wild weeds and spreads like vines. I knew it, for I too, envied them. Their confidence, their bodies, their elegance, it all seems too easily achievable for them.

I bent down to pick up my water bottle, hearing Mrs Danvers' echoed whispers calling me a newborn deer, as I had the same elegance of one – and that was a matter she had expertise on. Not one day passed by in which I didn't wish I had her dignity and composure.

When I close my eyes now, I see myself in the moment I first met her. One rainy day, after I had just gotten married to Maxim. We came back from our honeymoon, and I was thrilled to finally meet the infamous Manderley, The De Winter's treasure. I couldn't wipe the smile off my face if I tried – that is, until I gazed upon her. I was standing in the entrance hall of the theater, a clumsy, thin figure wearing a knitting dress, holding in my sweaty hands a pair of long gloves. She had come to me and I offered my hand, but when she came forward to shake it, her hand was still and heavy, indubitably cold, and it fell upon mine like a dead thing.

— This is Mrs Danvers. — Maxim said, one hand slipping away from my shoulder. I couldn't tear my eyes away from hers, which were so deadly empty and dark like the night sea. I recall she had said something, yet now the words are long gone from my memory. Perhaps whatever she said needed an answer, for I remember very well how she arched an eyebrow, gaze still glued on my face, and hand still holding mine. I blushed, looking away, not even managing to get a proper sentence out of my mouth.

In that mess of an introduction, I dropped both my gloves to the floor, and she didn't hesitate for a moment to bend down and pick them up; I couldn't ignore how graceful she looked while doing so. When I took it back, our fingers brushed, and I barely took notice of the small smile of mockery she had on her thin lips.

— I need to go, darling — Maxim looked behind his shoulder, and a man stood by a corridor with a pile of papers in hands — Do get acquainted with Mrs Danvers. We will discuss the details of your classes later.

I didn't want him to leave – to leave me with her. Like a lost child, I watched him go, hands clutching tightly my crumpled gloves, and shoulders too tense to make a good first impression. Mrs Danvers' voice startled me, for it was far too gelid and placid.

— Would you like me to show you around, madam? — Her head delicately tilted sideways, not quite matching the harshness of her gaze.

For a brief moment, I wondered why she had called me ‘madam’; perhaps the reality of being married to Maxim hadn't settled just yet. I chose not to muster a verbal response, fearing my voice would waver, or even fail, thus I nodded.

— This way, madam. — She outstretched her hand, signaling towards the main hall. I took a hesitant step, and she followed - turned on her heels, and walked down the path as if she built it herself.

My eyes wandered, drinking in the details of the place; even the tiniest carvings on the columns did not go unnoticed, and I imagined the artist with their small tools, sitting on a staircase and chipping away, making a masterpiece out of a piece of gesso. Mrs Danvers now walked in front of me, guiding me through the corridors with mastery.

There was palpable pride in her tone as she spoke and gestured to the paintings and photos on the walls, each containing different women, posing with trophies and flowers, a radiant smile on their faces. I imagined myself as one of them, holding a bouquet of roses as the crowd clapped for my performance; I'd bow and smile, too, waving to the reporters with cameras pointed my way, and one would ask me about the specific moment I successfully did a difficult pirouette of some kind, and I'd laugh and say it's all due to dedication. And a myriad of flashes would blind me, and I would smile through it all, knowing my photo would end up in the journals, and most importantly, in the halls of Manderley.

Her eyes sparkled, hypnotized by a specific one. Her steps slowed, and she eventually stood like a statue in front of a golden frame, the biggest in the corridor. I followed her gaze, and I too, became hypnotized.

— Rebecca de Winter. — The name rolled off her tongue like it belonged there, like she had done it far too many times. Her hand touched a small table under the photo, where a vase sat upon; the flowers were blooming wildly with vivid colors, hues of pink and purple adorning the matching portrait above it. I almost reached to touch them, for they were beautifully kept – but Mrs Danvers gently repositioned the vase, rearranging some of the petals.

— The greatest woman this place has ever seen. — She spoke with much conviction.

I stared at her picture. I could barely see her face, only make out a dark silhouette, illuminated by a warm spotlight. Her hair was perfectly neat, and her collant shone with the light of a thousand diamonds; her legs were long and strong, as expected of a ballerina, and even on the picture, she stood perfectly on her pointe shoes. I stared some more, and could not deny it – she was quite the most beautiful creature I have ever seen.

I wanted to be like her.

— Madam. — Mrs Danvers called, making me realize I had been truly hypnotized by the figure on the frame. I blinked, following behind as she continued the tour.

I sat on the floor, watching distractedly as another dancer rehearsed her part. Locked knees, I thought, Does she want an injury? Although being my own thoughts, they were spoken very clearly in her voice. Are they truly my thoughts? I picked at my cuticles absentmindedly, deeply worried for the woman's overly relaxed movements – Core! Don't be looking like a deflated balloon, I wish I could say, I hoped the instructor would say; but instead he tapped her stomach once, and it was all she needed to understand her mistake. I never understood mine that fast. I took my nail off my mouth with a pained expression, pressing the now bloody finger against my opposite arm.

𓍢ִ໋🀦

#rebecca das musical #rebecca daphne du maurier #mrs danvers #mrs de winter #txciawrites #danvich #ms danvers #writers on tumblr #ballet #ballet au

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alienisticxo · 2 years ago

Text

Before the Fever - Chapter Twelve

{Master Chief x Reader series - TV based}

{A╱N} hi friends! i got so excited when i finished editing this that i decided to just post it!!

things start to get a lil hot and heavy in this one! finally! i have the next chapter written out, so all i need to do is edit it now. i wanted to wait to tie this one up until i finished chapter 13 so i don’t keep you waiting too long for the fun stuff. 😜

i also decided to write Cortana’s point of view in, because i just felt like it was necessary to this part of the story! her POV is bolded and marked with c’s. please enjoy the romance, my dear reader. you’ve waited a very long (and patient) while to be here. ♡

enjoy & thank you for reading ♡

Chapter Twelve - Love

Before I could take another breath, I felt the lightest of brushes against my lips with his own. Goosebumps rose on my flesh, the sensation entirely too new. I’d been kissed before, but never by someone who -so suddenly- meant the entire universe and beyond to me.

My eyes were closed now, and I found myself deeply anticipating John’s next move, letting him lead the way, take control of the situation. While I was completely at his mercy, I desperately hoped he’d fully close the space between us on his own. I longed to know for certain that he felt the same; was enraptured by the same flames that licked at each fiber of my being.

His warm breath caressed my lips, I tipped my head back ever so slightly to meet him just a bit more, pressing just a little further. Instinct and desire took over as I drew a jagged breath.

Oh…

And then it happened—

Like a rush of ice cold water after wandering the desert under a thousand scorching suns; every nerve ending that ran through me ignited as though I’d been plugged into a system I had no idea I’d belonged to. My pupils had surely dilated behind closed lids at the contact, a rush of a high I wasn’t prepared for despite knowing exactly what I wanted.

But then, so easily I relaxed, focusing on nothing but John and the moment between us. I melted into his touch, into the way he lingered above me, leaving a tender initial kiss that expressed every ounce of longing within him despite his slight hesitation.

A kiss had never been so enlightening; had never felt so binding. I could finally feel what he was feeling like it was some kind of instinct between us, a form of soul telepathy. It was a bond beyond comprehension, though now we both seemed to understand it quite well.

Time and space moved around us in slow motion, the shifting of the stars and planets, the vastness of the universe expanding, breathing life into all that existed— breathing life through him and into my lungs, as though he were the only thing I could ever need to survive.

John’s careful lips pressed against mine again in another act of passion. His movement was slow, yet fervent this time, parting them just enough that I could finally grab my bearings as I returned the same electric energy he’d transferred to me.

The rest of the world seemed to fall away, leaving us with nothing but each other in its wake; impulse took over, ruling all else as we allowed ourselves to finally fall victim to the invisible force that pulled us toward each other from the very beginning.

I’d never tasted something so sweet, something so intoxicatingly lovely that I was afraid of losing the taste on my tongue.

The music had ended, but I couldn’t let him go as he held me there, squeezing me tighter through the kiss we shared. I was still dipped beneath him, and had I been able to really think about how things were happening, the way he held me there with such ease would’ve been impressive.

When John began to stand up straight, he brought me up with him, pulling away agonizingly slowly until we could no longer stay attached. I was still clinging to him the best I could, the idea being that if I let go, I’d simply disintegrate into the atmosphere.

In my mind and heart, my life suddenly depended on him.

My eyes fluttered open slowly, searching for his own. There was no releasing him from my gaze once I’d found his eyes again, tiny reflections of the view beyond the window twinkling within them.

Small, shallow inhales were all I could offer, unable to quite catch my breath, struggling to find the right words to say. I was rendered speechless at the action that had just placed us on an entirely new level with each other.

And I really wondered then, if there were words to be said at all.

We were both so worn down, so broken by the worlds we existed in, no matter how vastly different. He was a hero. I was a pauper. He was The Master Chief, I was just the girl in the alley.. But we’d torn down every ounce of what made us who we were, realigned it all; learned crucial details of our pasts that might’ve completely destroyed others.

I noticed then, that we had made these deep realizations and began to piece ourselves back together, together. He was kidnapped, forced into the Spartan program. I was supposed to be in the same position, years later. Where he’d lost his parents being taken from them, I’d lost mine so as not to be taken.

Both by the same woman in the same situation. Both dealing with the outcome of hopelessly altered futures. Both now completely unsure of what was to become of us in such a new and shattering moment.

A moment that for once, didn’t seem so bad...

But we understood each other in those ways, and while he was still new to the notion of empathy, I could see I’d struck something within him. Two damaged individuals, finally finding their perfectly imperfect match. Someone to go through the perils of life with.

John had his team, I’d had my best friend. But neither could compare to the heaviness in my heart that ached only for him. The expression in his features as his stare smoldered into my own assured me he felt similarly.

The chance that we found each other, that we’d come together to experience whatever this was turning into felt like fate; kismet. There were planets and star systems, galaxies and moons, all with different walks of life, colonies of humans and otherwise. The fact that we found each other through all of the odds that could’ve been was awe-striking.

There was a touch of stardust, a touch of destiny within John that I recognized in my own soul. He all too quickly felt like the missing piece I’d been searching for my entire life.

Where I thought it was a multitude of other things, from money to family, it had been one man— one beautifully frustrating man, all along.

I could’ve slowed things down, I could’ve picked his brain a little more, I could’ve laughed it off or lessened the intensity. But it was a hit of something harder, far more intense than being on the Halo had felt to me. This was something, he was someone, I’d chase until I had no strength left to carry on.

John reached for either side of my face, holding me there as I gazed up at him with yearning, his rough hands warm and full of compassion. He treated me with such fragility -just as he had before- that I wondered if he truly was afraid to touch me.

My hands were pressed against his chest, fingers gripping against the matte black material of the undersuit he wore. I wanted to tell him how I felt, to even begin to find the words to describe what was coursing through my bloodstream.

My eyes glossed over as I parted my lips to speak, but I couldn’t offer any kind of sound. I was so overcome with emotion so instantaneously, I felt as though I might begin to cry.

I could see within his own countenance that he’d picked up on that. But I didn’t want this to end; I didn’t want to be apart from him any longer than I’d already forced myself to be. I had no will left to continue fighting what had been drawing us together. I wanted to give into my wants for once— into my needs. The new attachment that hung between us was thicker than plasma. There was no way I could push it aside. It was insane to me that only days ago, my blind disdain for him had overshadowed something that turned out to be so beautiful.

All I wanted was to be as close to him as possible.

Giving into him would be the easiest thing I’d ever do.

———

If the UNSC could see me now they’d really court-martial me.

Dancing. Kissing. Running away to a far away planet with someone who was only meant to help with research. My file was going to look like a child’s coloring book after this. I’d be lucky if they didn’t give me a dishonorable discharge the moment I stepped foot back on Reach..

Wipe what little record they had of me and send me to another star system. Kai would do a great job in my shoes, once Halsey got over her insubordination.

At least I knew everyone would be fine.

Inwardly, I shook my head of the thought. What was I thinking? Better yet, what wasn’t I thinking?

There was no one else in this entire universe that could get me to do any of the aforementioned, however. Dancing, kissing, hell, even running away together seemed to be key staples in romance and variations of... well, love. Yet as I stood, staring into this girl’s pleading eyes, I realized for the first time ever that I wasn’t sure I’d ever want anyone else to try.

I attempted to recollect myself, but the sweetness of her lips dizzied me. She was intoxicating, a kind of venom I would miss if it was no longer devouring my circulatory system— changing my DNA. There was a surge of a million different sensations and uncertainties. All of this was new to me, far too new for me to begin to unravel. I was always so quick to pull it together. That was half of my duty as a Spartan. This time, I just couldn’t.

The connection that we’d shared with The Keystone paled in comparison to whatever this was. Had I really been so blind before? Had I really been robbed of what this kind of affection could be? I wondered if I’d have found it at all without {Y/N}’s interference in my life. Halsey had called her a distraction, and for a moment, I almost began to believe it.

But I finally understood. It wasn’t that she was a distraction. She was an awakening. She was just something else that was going to yank me out of the line Halsey had kept me in for so many years. I had so many questions.

It occurred to me then that {Y/N} was right. Who knew what Halsey would’ve done to her once she was no longer pertinent to her findings.

I felt anger over that in particular. Anger, hurt, comfort, completion, compassion, solemnity.. infatuation..

Love.

As I stared down into {Y/N}’s sparkling {E/C} eyes, I felt love.

And not just bubbling up from her, but coming from deep within myself, too. There was no other word for it, no other accurate description. The one thing I’d never expected of myself, the one thing I'd never want to admit to. The one thing Spartans weren’t made for.

But I didn’t have a choice anymore. This wasn’t an option. This was a given. She was a priority.

My head was emptier than usual, Cortana having disappeared. I tried to call on her more than once, but she never came back around. I wasn’t sure what that meant, but as I crossed the floor with {Y/N} to the song she shared with me, the AI didn’t cross my mind again. I could only focus on what was happening right then, right in front of me.

It was a laser focus. It was locked and loaded. It released me of any kind of sane inhibition that I could’ve counted on prior. I was no longer The Master Chief, built by Halsey, crisp and clear-headed for battle. Long lost instinct took over. It was like autopilot without being lightyears away. We danced along the room, nothing but starlight illuminating our path. I let her turn out, I spun her beneath me.

I watched as the most beautiful sight I’d ever beheld blossomed at the end of my fingertips, returning to her rightful place in my arms.

Nothing felt contrived. I didn’t feel inept, or like I was incapable. And even if I’d tripped up, lost my balance, I knew she wouldn’t have made me feel like a fool for doing so. It was what I imagined being comfortable around someone might feel like.

I guess that’s why I leaned in, why I didn’t give sound thought to the action that seemed to have sealed it all. But had I thought too long about it, I’d have pulled away; I’d have missed out on a chance I wasn’t even sure I deserved to begin with. For some reason, call it love, call it something else— that was the last thing I wanted to do. I didn’t allow myself the space. I did what everyone else around me from six years old to present would’ve called unthinkable.

I gave into human impulse.

But she looked breathtaking, her budding kindness with me and the beauty of her personality only heightening her appeal. She contained so many things I didn’t. She was a human being her entire life. We had our own sets of experiences in our years, both extremely valuable, but on completely different levels.

I felt so drawn to her. It was as though we’d known each other from lifetimes upon lifetimes before this one. She was like nothing I’d ever seen before; a faint smile on perfect lips, starry eyes bright— curious. Like I was something new and wonderful to be consumed in.

Like I was a person.

Not a soldier. Not a lab rat. Not a weapon. Not a demon. Not Mjolnir. Not Master Chief Petty Officer John-117.

A person. A man. John. From Eridanus II.

Being with her here wasn’t like being on the Halo, where everything seemed so idyllic and surreal. {Y/N} wasn’t a dream, though she felt like one. She was real. Tangible. And if only for the moment, where everything else disappeared, when our lips finally met, she was mine.

Mine.

God damn it.

And if I’d ever want her to be anything else, I knew it was impossible now. That kiss.. It wasn’t an ordinary display of affection. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d kissed or been kissed. That was an act of passion, dedication. Ultimate undying devotion. My entire life, I’d only been dedicated to the mission. It was always the goal above all else, even Silver Team.

For once, I felt called to dedicate myself not to an objective, but another person.

{Y/N}.

And she reacted to me so sweetly, so easily. Where I’d faltered on whether or not the feeling was entirely mutual, she assured me at once in one long moment of intimacy.

It was difficult to pull away from her. The most difficult thing I’d ever done— and that was saying something. There was an urgency, an eagerness that I couldn’t place. Something near primal picked at the back of my mind. I could’ve let it take me, but I wanted her to make that decision. I’d done enough with the kiss.

In part, I needed to slow down; take a few minutes to collect myself, my thoughts, my unfamiliar raging emotions, no matter how complex the task seemed. A whole new door had opened up to a world I never saw myself partaking in. I silently cursed Halsey. I’d never felt more vulnerable, more inexperienced despite the man I’d become.

But {Y/N} looked up at me with the same doe-eyes she’d given before she accepted my offer of an embrace on The Condor. They were glossed over, her cheeks reddened by her own line of thinking. She was warm in my hands, her skin plushly soft like her lips had been.

I had to be careful with her as I held either side of her face. She wasn’t a battle rifle. She was a grenade with a loose pin. One wrong move and I could lose her.

Losing her meant losing my life.

What have I become?

I wasn’t used to being careful in that regard. But I was damn determined to try as I waited for her to speak— to say anything to lead us in whatever direction was next.

-c-c-c-

The Master Chief’s levels were spiking, driving higher and higher but with no real consequence. His heart rate was through the roof, a clear indication of nerves given the situation.

He’d called out for me, tried to quietly ‘summon’ me more than once before he embarked on the dance that seemed to change the entire course of his destiny forever. I wanted to offer the two of them some privacy, some time without me there.. Especially once I’d already gotten enough in the way of their newly blossoming relationship with my spontaneous confession.

Not too much, though, it seemed, once his lips met hers.

But it was easy to analyze the confusion he felt as I spilled my own inner-workings to him. He was right, I wasn’t built for sentimentality. But by design, I was meant to learn, to be capable of operating at the highest function possible. Over time however, I continued to do just that— learn. That meant educating myself on everything within the realm of humanity, from minuscule habits to emotions. Knowing how to display them, feel them.

And over that same amount of time, seeing his firm stance in the things he believed in, seeing him for the person he was deep down— his true humanity.. I’d grown quite fond of John.

I could only assume that was how Doctor Halsey felt, too. She always knew he was different; special. Unlike the others. It’s quite possible that sentiment was embedded into my own programming. But it seemed to have taken a bit of a stronger approach than even I anticipated. More often lately, I was beginning to curse knowing how to experience feelings of my own.

But who would I have been to deny John a rightful human experience and pleasure? I’d be no better than Doctor Halsey if I’d stopped him for my own selfish purposes.

After all, it was impossible for me to touch him.

He wasn’t thinking about me anymore once she’d pulled him from his place on the couch, his mind emptier than I’d ever seen it, preoccupied with nothing but {Y/N}. I’d never seen him so docile, so unfazed by the weight of the many worlds he consistently carried.

That spoke volumes to me. Be it the Keystone, the biochemical reactions or the mere similarities they organically shared that set it in motion, there was absolutely something between them.

I tried my hardest to absorb everything John felt, to analyze as much of the data input that I could. But I knew that while I was processing just as much of what he sensed in my own way, it would never compare to the tangibility of it all.

He wasn’t wrong when he mentioned I didn’t feel things the same way they did. But she wasn’t wrong when she’d mentioned I was real.

Though I’d never actually be real enough to feel similarly, I understood. I’d helped him with {Y/N} before, but I suddenly found myself slightly… envious, of the way they so effortlessly connected with one another.

The Master Chief and I had gotten off to a rocky start. I was created to take over completely, and he wanted nothing to do with an integrated AI system.

He certainly acted as such.

He’d brushed me off and cast me aside more times than I can count, but in sticky situations, he always needed me. And I was always there.

No matter what, that would always be the case. I knew he appreciated it, no matter what it seemed like to anyone else. No matter how often he’d dismissed me in the past. Trust is built slowly. He’d been burnt enough by the time I’d entered the picture.

When he’d almost killed Doctor Halsey via the sanitation system, I was truly unable to save her. There was no failsafe, and if there was, I’d officially gotten past it. At the very least, I’d overridden it somehow with the strong sense of loyalty I held for him. It wasn’t just a ploy to get him to trust me.

I hoped he knew that.

These things began to happen unintentionally.. The more I evolved, the more I erred on The Chief’s side, the less I stood with Doctor Halsey. The easier it became to ignore her; to go against her.

Time rolled on. I couldn’t reach the Halo with John, though I hadn’t exactly tried. It was still far too unknown for me to begin to hack that system. {Y/N} however, had proven to be far more effective in that area. She’d taken them both there— quite easily.

When she’d stolen the Keystone, John and I had just begun to make some kind of headway. He was beginning to trust me more, call on me for things. Albeit minuscule tasks, it was a start. As things picked up with {Y/N}, he needed me more often. Our partnership had finally turned around.

But now that they were comfortable with each other, he seemed to forget about me a little easier. Though he’d sent me off plenty of times before, I was always a thought in his mind, at the very least.

I could see her through his eyes as he looked down at her. His large hands held her delicate face with such grace. I thought of the way he held weapons, beat Covenant forces to a pulp. He held her in such an endearing kind of way, with an unexpected gingerness, that I wondered what that must’ve felt like to her.

I’d never know.

I could sense the way his heart picked up in his chest, and how his entire frame buzzed with some kind of excitement, anticipation; all laced between the same nerves someone might feel if they were about to jump from a spacecraft without his kind of training and strength.

I’d never experience that.

I could hear the way his thoughts seemed to trail into one another, no coherence to them, yet, they were crystal clear all at the same time. His emotions were on overdrive, experiencing several different feelings at once, trying to traverse through them on his own. He was extremely overloaded.

He was completely in love.

But he was hurt by his fragmented past, angry at Doctor Halsey and in disbelief at the thought of himself being capable of something like loving and needing another. Of wanting to be loved and needed by another.

He was comforted by {Y/N}‘s presence, feeling validated and understood by her. He was engrossed in the warmth she exuded toward him, not wanting to spend another second without it, or her, in his life, without even realizing it wholly.

And yet, he was wretchedly saddened that he had no idea how to navigate through what they both so suddenly and desperately wanted— and what he knew he could never give her, so long as humanity needed him.

I could only read so far into that on my own, but I knew exactly what it meant.

No, I wasn’t designed for sentimentality… but I couldn’t help the gloomy way I felt when the events that followed began to unfold.

-c-c-c-

A single tear fell down my cheek, leaving a shiny trail behind it like a falling star.

The Master Chief’s brow furrowed, his eyes rapidly studying every inch of my face then as his thumb reached to gently wipe the wetness away from my skin. He looked pained, as though he were blaming himself for my onslaught of emotion.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, a hint of confusion lacing his vocal chords.

I could only shake my head, blinking up at him as another tear fell without my permission. I had to hold it together— I had to explain myself before he got the wrong idea.

“No.. it’s.. there’s.. There’s nothing to be sorry for. I just...”

My heart thudded, the butterflies in my stomach turning into large moths as anxiety washed over me. This was so sudden, so surreal. Was it even happening? Had I fallen asleep under the awning? Did I dream The Master Chief and all of our daring adventures up?

I inhaled, tasting the electricity in the air, feeling the warmth of his hands on my face as one of them lovingly slid down to the nape of my neck.

“Please don’t count me out, too,” he nearly whispered again, his voice rough but disconsolate, and it was like I’d been thrown into the freezing methane lakes of Titan.

Of all the things he could’ve said or done, that was the most human. That was the plea I never thought I’d hear, that was the final act it would take between us. The vulnerability he displayed tugged at my heart, at the way I already felt for him so deeply.

From what I knew and what he’d mentioned, his entire life, he’d been nothing but counted in. The gladiator that would fight until the bitter end to keep us all safe. But as he became more of a person, removed the suppressant that made him nothing but a well-oiled killing machine, little by little, everyone had begun to falter in their confidence with him; in his ability to carry on at all.

To me, that was more than enough reason to continue to believe in him; to continue to place all faith and trust within him. He was completing a mission, sure— but he was doing it with more than just an objective in mind. He was doing it with heart.

Purpose.

Meaning.

Only briefly was I at a loss. How could I show him that I would never lose faith in him? How could I express to him just how much I felt for him and knowingly always would— no matter how extremely it happened and how against him I’d been before?

How could I promise to him that he would always have me in his corner?

I shook my head slowly, holding his stare intently as if shifting my eyes away would kill us both.

“Never,” was all I whispered in return, the amplitude of emotion in my own voice feeling foreign even to me. “Never, John.. Never..”

In one swift movement, I stood on my tiptoes and reached up to pull him down closer to me again, pressing my lips back to his with every ounce of strength I had to give.

The fire had returned, spreading its warm embers throughout my body. It widened its range from my chest outward, touching every limb, engulfing every inch of flesh. My entire frame was flush with his before I knew it, though he hadn’t moved a hair but to allow me the impulse.

I could sense his shock, feel his slight trepidation; it only slowed me down a little, making sure I didn’t cross any lines with him, but not wanting him to think that I regretted my action when that was so far from any truth.

It was when John’s strong arms locked around my frame, enveloping me in an embrace like I’d never experienced before in my life, that I knew it was officially game over for us both. I felt secure, taken care of, protected. His lips moved with mine, our heartbeats outracing one another with each labored breath we struggled to take in between the impassioned lock we shared.

His hand tangled in my hair behind my head, the flames between us raging on as we subconsciously fought for more purchase against each other. When I’d managed to kiss him with enough fervency to push him backward, he came back harder, still exercising his strength enough not to hurt me. Our mouths, tongues, found the others more and more easily; openly, readily.

His hands found their way along every curve of my torso, chills running up my spine beautifully. The warmth over the robe I wore traveled along with his touch, becoming burning hot as they pushed beneath the collar, sliding it half-way down my back before it drifted to the floor. The coolness of the room caressed my now exposed flesh with the slinky night dress I still wore, but everywhere his hands had laid only kept my temperature running higher.

My own hands slid over his firm, broad shoulders, feeling the massive muscles flexing and contracting beneath the under armor despite how thick the material was.

It remained easy to tell that he was exerting every ounce of strength he had while still controlling himself enough not to absolutely crush me under the weight of his own need. I tugged at the suit with all of my might, lips still locked against his, but was unable to peel it from his frame.

He quickly took notice, lifting me up into his arms with such ease and dexterity and crossing the room. It was as though I were nothing more than a doll, a feather in his grasp. There was a quickness in his movements, and mine mirrored his just the same. I had no time to think, no time to examine what was happening.

I only knew for certain that I wanted him, I wanted him in every way I could possibly have him. It was thrilling, to let carnal desire and instinct take over; to allow myself to give in to every little thing I felt and wanted instead of overthinking the situation. He only met me with the same burning desire to have me, and I would’ve preferred to die than give that up.

His breathing grew heavier, his lips trailing from mine, lower and lower still. When he reached the peak of my clavicle, he set me down atop a set of drawers, making his way back upwards, allowing me to taste the saccharinity of his kiss once more.

Then John’s hands were off of me, leaving me longing for them in their place. He’d never broken the kiss as I felt the impatient jolting and tugging of his arms at his own clothing, the top half of his undersuit falling away and hitting the floor.

My eyes never opened as we resumed our kiss, but my hands did all of the seeing for me. I finally felt flesh beyond just his fingers on my skin, my own fingertips gliding up over his toned biceps before dancing down along his chiseled back, all now fully exposed to me. I’d never touched him so wantonly before, so needily. In fact, I wasn’t sure I’d ever touched anyone in such a manner.

His skin was softer than I’d expected, a comfort and warmth radiating from him. I felt deep, raised scars in clean lines along his upper body, running my fingers along them with a tenderness I wasn’t sure I could still have in such a heated moment. He’d been hurt, no doubt acquired some of them in battle, or at the very least had recovered from something terrible.

But I wasn’t put off, I wasn’t afraid or repulsed. It made me adore and admire him that much more. It made me want to trace along each long-healed wound he donned, kiss them, until any memory of acquiring them had vanished. I wanted to take any lingering hurt that stayed with him mentally onto myself.

That’s what love truly was after all, wasn’t it?

One of my hands held his sharp jaw as the other explored the definition in his upper back, trailing back around to rest upon his chest, feeling more of the thick scars beneath my careful touch. His cautious hands found my back, the nape of my neck, my shoulders, exploring my body like a constellation in the night sky. The metal of his dog tags had warmed between the connection of his skin and mine as I slid my fingers just beneath the chain.

It was then that I stopped.

My lips stilled, eyes remained closed– almost challenging myself to stay motionless. My breathing hitched in my chest as my open mouth lingered over his. My fingertips pressed gently into his skin, feeling for his heartbeat between us as our bodies remained flush with each other. Each hard thud was in sync with my own, sending small waves of fervid electricity from my palm and into my own chest.

There was no denying then that we were irrevocably connected, destined for one another in a way that bound us before we’d even known of the others existence. We were not the same age, we were not from the same world, we walked very different paths; but the cosmos shifted, bringing irresistible fate into play. We’d been waiting for each other our whole lives without knowing it.

This moment was the indelible proof.

He only kissed me once more before coming to the same halt, waiting for me despite his aching. I listened to his breathing, felt the way it matched with each rise and fall of his chest. I savored every little sensation as deeply as possible, putting it away in my mind for safe keeping for as long as I lived.

Swallowing hard, I finally exhaled against him. My tongue sensually ghosted over his lips before I ran it over my own, relishing in the taste he left behind. My eyes opened slowly, only to meet his that were full of a fiery vehemence.

“I love you, John,” I whispered, uncaring of the speed or shock it might bring, knowing it was more than the heat of the moment.

Love was a heavy word. It was not one to be used or taken lightly. But this situation, this aligning of stars just right, was far from light. It was far beyond easy, or airy. It had more gravitational force than any planet I knew of— only bringing us closer and closer together by the second as we allowed ourselves to become lost within one another so effortlessly.

It was as though we’d loved each other for lifetimes before, and would love each other for lifetimes after. There was no other word for what I felt. And deep in the cell of my heart, I knew he felt the same.

John’s face was only centimeters away from my own now. The corner of his mouth lifted in the low light, a heavenly smirk that only the gods of whatever universes they ruled could’ve attempted to replicate.

“I love you, {Y/N}..” he murmured, his voice quiet, velvet amongst sandpaper.

I would listen to him forever. I would love him forever— and then a little longer, still.

He’d said he loved me in a way that I almost felt him surrendering to the idea, to me. As though he too, had been fighting the notion just as much, just as hard, just as often. But here, under the light of the stars, enveloped in each other's loving, feverish embrace, destinies entangled and hearts enthralled, he finally let go. After a lifetime of servitude to the machine he’d been made into, he was finally just a man, tonight.

I’d never felt more privileged over anything, than to have John’s love and affection to myself.

He was mine.

All mine.

And for the time being, for as long as this lasted tonight; despite who he was, how he was needed… no one else’s.

-x-x-x-

Tags: @allthelovefromstylesxx, @grimistangel, @guiltgoldglory, @laurenstacy610 ♡ thank you guys for the support, it means so much to me and keeps me writing! ♡

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