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maple-the-awesome · 1 year ago

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He Becomes a Dad! || Part 1/2

PART 2

Pairing: Time, Four, Legend, Hyrule x Reader

Overview: Congratulations, you're new parents 🎉 Some of the Links are prepared. Others...might need a moment to gather themselves. But rest assured! At the end of the day, they're all going to get a handle on this whole dad thing. I'm a sucker for family tropes and there simply aren't enough out there for the Chain to quench my thirst, so here it is, I'm adding my contribution👍 Btw, there will be only two parts for this prompt since Wind will be excluded for obvious reasons. Baby making isn't a platonic activity🤷‍♀️

Zelda Masterlist 🩵Fandom Masterlist

You only brought the topic of children up to your husband once. It was at some point during the early half of your marriage and after a particularly lengthy day of enduring Malon’s well-meant pestering. Time, beside being caught slightly off guard, delivered a straightforward answer:

“It wouldn’t feel right bringing kids into this world, especially when I would hardly be home to help you rear them.”

Now, you can’t lie and say you weren’t at all disappointed by this answer, although you wouldn’t say you had the rug completely pulled from beneath you. You understood the true implications behind Time’s statement right away. It’s the same reason he took so long to let himself marry you. It’s not you nor a disgust towards children, but rather an unspoken fear of building a life where he’s too happy - one that could be ripped away from him at a moment’s notice as has seemed to be the case for his younger years.

Although his worries are needless, you never pushed against his boundaries because you could at least see the sense in his argument. Sure, the idea of having children did always appeal to you deep down, however between Time’s constant traveling and your hard work helping at Lon Lon Ranch, it would be difficult to squeeze a family into the schedule. There was no sense in forcing him into a commitment he wasn’t ready for nor one you weren’t in a position to properly foster.

Twelve years of blissful marriage passed before your plans changed. The blame lies with those other heroes, too. One would think traveling alongside a group of unruly young boys would’ve made someone more certain of their decision to never again subject themselves to such a headache, yet it apparently had the opposite effect on your dear husband.

Discovering first hand how much pride he could feel towards a descendant was life-altering, to put it light. Twilight was living proof that somewhere along the line, Time does something right. Whatever kids he might have will grow up to have children of their own and so on…Not to mention Twilight isn’t a terrible outcome by any means. To raise someone with the possibility of them turning out like him and to do so with you of all people? Well, needless to say, it was settled rather quickly after that: Time wanted kids.

Call it baby-fever if you will, but he was suddenly rather eager about the concept he had once avoided like the plague. He brought it up through not-so-subtly hints at first, then when you outright asked him if he was being serious, he went on a slightly nervous spew about your home being too quiet and how he could officially retire from traveling to be home more and it’s really a shame that you have an extra bedroom just sitting around - You just had to kiss him to shut him up which eventually led to…other things. Let’s just say you both got started right away.

It took you twelve years to realize you did indeed want kids yet less than a year to actually be holding them for the first time. It turns out even the universe was impatiently waiting for you both to come to your senses, so once you finally had, it decided to award you with not one, but two beautiful girls whom you affectionately named Saria after Time’s old friend and Mallory, a mix between melody and Malon, their ever-so-excited godmother.

It’s safe to say that the twins are pretty spoiled. Malon has been over almost everyday, bringing you plenty of baked goods as a bribe to let her spend more time with her favorite goddaughters and you have practically every baby related item that you could need, courtesy of the Queen of Hyrule herself, but of course, it’s their parents who love them the most.

Never in his wildest dreams did Time think it would be possible to feel so at peace with the life he’s built. For so many years, he feared true happiness was impossible - that every turn would result in the same cruel fate he had been subjected to during most of his existence - and yet for the last couple of nights, he’s held it in his arms. He’s watched the moon rise outside his window while playing soft lullabies on his ocarina, you cuddled by his side with your daughters shared between you both. You wear a small smile even in sleep and he swears the girls match it, too; he definitely does himself…This is a priceless treasure he’ll give his life to protect.

Four and you had already been married for a few years by the time you found out you’re pregnant. It’s not to say you were actively planning for it, although you also weren’t actively trying not to either.

It had been agreed upon early in your relationship that kids would be nice should they come your way, therefore you were both equally excited that your wishes were finally being granted, so much so that the nursery was finished within the first month (courtesy of your handy husband). It’s painted in beautiful pastels that are easy on the eyes and decorated with many toys Four had hand-carved himself; a useful craft he’s now very appreciative towards Sky for teaching him.

Seeing as this was already a somewhat anticipated next step in your lives, Four’s pretty relaxed throughout the process despite its many challenges. For starters, pregnancy itself unfortunately isn't as much of a 'blessing' for you as some have made it sound. You’re rather sick from beginning to end. If it isn't your inability to keep food down (especially in the early stages) or your fluctuating blood pressure, then it’s the aching you constantly feel thanks to both your very heavy bump and extremely active baby who just loves to make sure you never forgot about their existence by kicking you as hard as possible day and night.

Worry not. Four has made your struggles more bearable by being a darling husband through and through. He’s by your side during each doctor’s visit, does his own personal research on all things baby-related, and helps with every chore he can to give you at least some rest even if just for a quick nap, however most spectacularly, he does all of this without ever being too overbearing.

Although certainly concerned for your health, Four can recognize your strength any day of the week, especially when you've been rolling with the punches like a warrior queen during such a draining pregnancy. Anxious, sure, but not afraid. Why would he be? He’s confident that you’re both prepared to face anything together! …That is, until you actually went into labor…

Yeah, remember that previously mentioned, relaxed and darling husband? Forget about him. Your water broke and so did Four's calm demeanor, but can he really be blamed? You went into labor early - and not just by a couple of days either. Oh no, we're talking a couple of weeks early.

Regardless of his newfound fear, Four does his utmost best to still present himself as calm and collected in front of you, not wanting to freak you out any more than you’re already freaking out yourself. He first helped you lay down with plenty of pillows and cushions before running to get help. After that, he doesn’t leave your side, encouraging you throughout the process with a smile on his face, however don’t be fooled: the second you turn your head to the midwife’s voice or close your eyes to scream, your poor husband’s face reflects his inner thoughts as the situation fully begins to sink in. 'Scared shitless' - that's a good word to describe it; eyes wide in terror with a mouth that’s hung agape and slightly twisted in pain as your nails clawed into his hand.

As said, he never leaves your side - not even for a millisecond. You don’t have to worry about him being the type of guy to get grossed out by natural fluids or complain about your expressions of pain; none of that is remotely a concern of his. He’s just grateful to see you okay and even more so to hear his baby crying as they should.

A girl; small like her daddy, but healthy all things considered. Four couldn't wait to hold her, knowing damn well he was going to cry the second her soft skin touched his, but he isn’t ashamed of it in the slightest. Who wouldn’t cry holding something so precious?

Then you scream again. He thinks something must be wrong until the midwife announces that it isn’t over - that there are more squeezed in there waiting.

At the end of the day, you're just relieved to finally breathe easy without going through agonizing pain while Four, on the other hand, is left in shock staring at not one, not two, but three little babies, all healthy girls who wiggle and whimper in their parents' arms, but oh well. The nursery may have to be expanded, although there's plenty of love to go around. At least he can thank Hylia that it wasn’t quads (he's had enough of those).

Legend and you have been in a relationship for several years, although you had mutually agreed earlier on that neither of you were big fans of the whole 'marriage' thing. What difference would a ceremony and piece of paper make, anyway? You already act as any officially married couple would. You live together, go on dates, occasionally argue, and even share a bed which is exactly what resulted in a recent, unplanned detour in your lives: a baby.

When you first told Legend the news, he panicked, asking himself all those stupid questions like ‘what now’ and ‘how could this have happened’ even though he knew damn well how. Then he left. Giving some half-assed excuse about needing fresh air, he turned his back to you despite your pleas and didn’t return for hours.

Now, rest assured, he did immediately regret having that reaction and apologized for it as soon as he came home. He didn’t mean to scare you with the thought of abandonment, but as he would quietly confess during his apology, the thought of being a parent had just been too overwhelming in the moment. Neither of you had ever talked about having kids, and while he could at least have some peace of mind knowing you’ll obviously be a great mom, he fears that the same won’t be applied to him.

You have always been the light in a dim room, as Legend would put it. You’re fun, sweet, and amazing with kids. Any child of yours, planned or not, will love you with all of their heart exactly as he does. Meanwhile he’s stubborn, cranky, and the last kid to cross his path literally started sobbing. Maybe it had to do with him being covered in monster blood after just having crawled out of a dungeon but he’s pretty sure he traumatized a kid nonetheless…The thought of being just as bad around any kid you share together scares the crap out of him.

Deep, deep down, Legend’s actually somewhat excited to be a father. Although he’s too stubborn to admit it to anyone other than you, he’ll sometimes daydream about how nice it would be to tell a little replica of you both about all his adventures or to teach them how to use some of the items he’s collected over the years like his trusty boomerang. Seeing the excitement in their eyes would definitely be worth listening to you scold him afterwards. If that’s all there was to being a father, Legend wouldn’t have a single concern, yet it’s his insecurities that always have a habit of souring things. Would his kid actually find his stories cool or would they just be tempted to throw the boomerang right at his head?

You’ve done your best to reassure him, often falling back on the argument that the baby will be a part of him. Like father, like son, right? Legend was almost ready to believe you, too, especially upon laying eyes on his child for the first time. As you passed the tiny bundle over to him, he thought that maybe being a dad wasn’t going to be that scary after all, and it might not be so bad to even have more someday either…However, his worries were quick to return when the baby started screaming two seconds after being set into his arms…

Baby screams if he holds him. Baby whimpers if he looks at him for too long. Sometimes, Legend swears the thing starts crying simply by hearing his voice in another room. It doesn’t happen with anyone else, though. The baby just adores you as predicted, but what Legend can’t stand is the fact that the baby seems to like Ravio, of all annoyances, over his own dad.

He’s forced to watch as the little brat happily lets Ravio cradle him, the sight filling him with bitter jealousy and sorrow. You’re convinced that he’s just overthinking everything - that he should give himself time to adjust to his new position as a father instead of holding himself to unrealistic standards, but how long is he exactly supposed to wait until it clicks? It’s been a whole month already and he still feels as confused as day one! Will he ever get the hang of this whole dad-thing or is he a lost cause…?

If there’s any comfort Legend can have, it’s that even Ravio doesn’t know what to do with the baby once he starts crying, so at least he’s not alone in that aspect. The only problem is you’re busy making lunch and stubbornly refuse to pause your efforts. Instead, you shove a bottle over to Legend, insisting that he be the one to feed his son since it should be a ‘good bonding exercise’ for them. You won’t take ‘no’ for an answer and judging on your glare when he tries to protest, you probably wouldn’t be happy if he tries passing the task onto Ravio either.

Thus, Legend is left to awkwardly sit down and take the baby into his arms. He already knows it’s obvious he has no idea what he’s doing, Ravio doesn’t have to point it out, but luckily after some swift around, he manages to hold his son more securely against his chest before shoving the bottle in his face. The baby continues to fuss while turning his head away from the bottle, and Legend’s almost tempted to call for you in defeat until at last, the room falls silent.

Looking down, he watches in quiet awe as his son accepts his meal eagerly. His little hands quickly rise up, gripping onto Legend’s which holds the bottle in place. They’re so tiny; barely able to wrap around a single finger - Oh, and his eyes as well! They’re wide as he stares up at his dad with unbroken eye contact. It’s like a wordless conversation - one more valuable than any he’s heard before.

You return, offering to take your son now that your work is done, but Legend is quick to shake his head. Why don’t you take a well-deserved break while he handles this little troublemaker? It would be a shame to bother him when he looks so comfortable in daddy’s arms.

You've been dating Hyrule for longer than either of you can really remember, however you aren’t in any big rush to get married, figuring that it would make no real difference in your commitment to each other. You love Hyrule and he loves you. What more is there to say? For a while there, you were both perfectly satisfied with simply taking things slow and letting fate decide your course, although more recently you’ve had to switch up that method to something more stable for the baby. Yes, a baby.

You wouldn’t necessarily call it a surprise, but you also can’t truthfully say it was planned either. You had agreed that kids might be nice if the goddesses ever blessed you with any in the future, however you weren’t exactly trying for them…You just weren’t being very careful…

Hyrule must admit he was rather nervous at the start. The only prior experience he really had around kids was with Wind, but there’s a pretty big difference between a young teen and newborn. Pair that with his not so ‘kid-friendly’ world and there’s plenty to worry over. Anything could happen, but Hyrule’s determined to be the best dad and partner he can.

First thing was first, of course: you needed a place to stay. Traveling is fun and you both enjoy being on the move, but that’s no life for a baby. Hyrule and you had actually already considered the idea of settling down someplace before, so you didn’t think of it as a massive loss to take off your adventure boots for a while. If anything, it was a welcomed change once you remembered how lovely it is to be able to kick your feet up for a rest or be surrounded by warmth during a terrible rainstorm.

Again, Hyrule takes his job as your partner very seriously which wasn’t ever a surprise to you. He found a small house for you both to rent in one of the safer villages around; a perfect place for raising a child. While he might not have a talent for decorating or making a place feel ‘homey’, he does thrive when it comes to making sure you’re comfortable, his spare rupees definitely going to fluffy wool blankets and a rickety rocking chair that he saw at a market.

Early on in the pregnancy, you noticed that your boyfriend also began showing a new found determination for cooking which did scare you a bit at first - Okay, so maybe a lot. Hyrule began taking cooking lessons from some kind elderly ladies in town who must have an endless pool of patience because while you can’t say every dish is a masterpiece (or even editable for that matter), you are happy to say Hyrule can now make things like toast and tomato soup successfully. It’s progress.

There aren’t a ton of doctors in your time and none in your village, so you have to take a lot of notes from local women regarding the process. Hearing all their stories and the possible ‘what if’s for what could go wrong made you anxious, especially once you finally go into labor, but it doesn’t faze Hyrule - not on the outside, anyway. He does an excellent job of swallowing his own fears for your peace of mind, talking you through each painful contraction and doing his best to distract you from it all until it comes time to start pushing.

Some people may get squeamish at the thought of childbirth, however Hyrule isn’t one of them. He’s fought through some terrifying dungeons and has bore witness to more than a few gory injuries over the years, so bodily fluids don’t bother him one bit. He’s kneeled down right in front of you without a second’s hesitation, multitasking between mentally reviewing what he’s been told to do and reassuring you even though he’s sure you don’t hear a word of it over your own screams.

One minute Hyrule’s encouraging you to keep pushing, the next he’s holding a small, crying baby in his arms. His movements after that feel almost automatic as he carefully cleans her off and just admires the fact that this baby - this tiny, precious gift of life is his. She’s yours and his and she’s beautiful despite having come into existence within such a broken world filled with more hardships than he could count…

Your tired voice brings him back to reality - asking if the baby you hear crying is okay. You clearly feel the same thing Hyrule does upon seeing your daughter for the first time, the two of you sitting side-by-side as you soak in this wonderful emotion. Hope...That’s what she represents. Hope for a brighter future...

#x reader #reader insert #linked universe x reader #link x reader #linked universe #lu time x reader #lu chain #lu legend x reader #lu four x reader #lu hyrule x reader #legend of zelda #legend of zelda x reader

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gmikaelson · 2 months ago

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The Assistant 2 | K.M

Summary: No one said being Klaus Mikaelson’s Assistant would be easy…and he’s definitely not making it easier on you either.

Part 1 <<if you haven’t read it yet

Part 3

𐙚⋆˙˚◞♡ ✮⋆˙ ₊˚⊹♡ : ̗̀ 𐙚⋆˙˚◞♡ ✮⋆˙ ₊˚⊹♡ : ̗̀ 𐙚⋆˙˚◞♡ ✮⋆˙ ₊˚⊹♡ : ̗̀ 𐙚

The next morning, YN’s eyes flutter open and she see a blond woman hovering over her bed. She looked like she was studying her. Startled, she sits up, "uh, hello?" She say hesitantly as the woman continues to observe Y/N, an intrigued expression on her face

Rebekah Mikaelson, the Original Sister herself, smirked at her startlement. She leaned casually against the ornate four-poster bed, her blonde hair cascading down her shoulders in soft waves.

"Well, well, well. Looks like Nik has finally brought his own little birdie home." She twirled a strand of hair between her fingers, eyes studying Y/N’s features with predatory focus. "You must be quite the feisty little thing to have survived meeting Nik last night. Or perhaps... you're simply too pretty to kill. Yet."

Rebekah moved to stand beside the bed, crossing her arms with a calculating smirk. "Tell me, darling, what's your game? Because if you're hoping to somehow manipulate my brother, you're in for quite the disappointment. Although..." her eyes darkened with intrigue, "I wouldn't mind seeing him wrapped around your finger for once. He can be such an insufferable ass sometimes."

Y/N furrows her brows, "you're... Rebekah, is that correct? I'm...uh...I don't know exactly what I'm doing here but...Klaus did something for me and I now owe him"

Rebekah's smirk deepened, her eyes gleaming with amusement at the predicament at handt. She settled herself on the edge of the bed, crossing her legs with a graceful flourish. "Owe Nik? My, my... how intriguing. And here I thought nothing could sway my brother's..." she grinned wickedly, "attentions. Though you do have a certain appeal about you."

Her gaze traveled down her body with appreciation before flicking back up to her face. "Careful, darling. You might find yourself becoming his next fascination. Or his next conquest."

Rebekah leaned in conspiratorially, her voice dropping to a whisper. "But between you and me? If you ever need someone to help you survive my brother's rather... intense devotion, I'm just down the hall. And who knows? Perhaps you could even help me get back at Nik for something he did." Her eyes darkened with a mix of mischief and irritation. "I have quite the bounty of revenge I owe him."

Y/N did not know how to respond to her, "I...uh" before she could respond, Klaus cleared his throat from the doorway

He stood in the doorway, arms crossed and eyes narrowed at the sight of his sister perched on the bed. His gaze shifted between Y/N and Rebekah, a silent warning in his expression as he moved into the room.

"Rebekah," he acknowledged her with a tone that carried both irritation and suspicion. "I trust you're not here to cause trouble? We have enough of that with the witches and werewolves in this town." His attention turned to Y/N, his eyes darkening with a mix of possession and caution. "And you, love. I hope my sister has been... civil during her visit? Remember, you're here as my guest n’ow."

"Yes. I'm...ready to discuss things if you are" She was curious to know more about their arrangement

Klaus' lips curved into a calculating smile as he gestured toward the door, his posture rigid with authority.

"After you, love." His eyes flickered to Rebekah with a warning glare. "And sister dear, do try to resist any schemes involving our new... guest. I'd hate to have to put you back in that box you so despise."

He followed behind Y/N at a measured distance, his presence commanding and cold. "We'll discuss terms in my study. Though I should warn you -" his voice carried a dangerous edge, "any attempts to negotiate your way out of our arrangement will be met with... considerable displeasure."

Y/N look at him over her shoulder, “I’m not an idiot. I keep my word.” she says as they enter his study.

“So…” she gestured at him, “begin?”

Klaus moved to sit behind his desk, a position of power he clearly preferred. His eyes tracked her movement with predatory focus as he poured himself a drink.

"Straight to business then? How refreshing." He leaned back, his posture deceptively relaxed though his eyes remained sharp and calculating. "It's quite simple, really. You'll remain here, where I can ensure you won't be involved in any more plots against me - willing or otherwise. You'll work as my personal assistant, handling my affairs during daylight hours."

His fingers drummed against the desk as he studied her with cold intensity."You'll have the freedom to move about the compound, but any attempts to leave without my explicit permission will have... severe consequences. And should anyone approach you about harming me or my family..." his eyes darkened dangerously, "you'll report it to me immediately. Are we clear, love?"

“Yes and…no. What do you mean exactly by 'personal assistant'? I’m human. What much can I offer an original vampire such as yourself?”

Klaus' lips curved into a cold smirk as he rose from his chair, circling the desk to stand before her with calculated precision.

"You'd be surprised how useful a human assistant can be, love. I have businesses to run, appearances to maintain in this city." His eyes flickered with dangerous amusement. "After all, I can hardly compel every human I deal with - draws far too much attention. You'll handle the daylight meetings, the paperwork, the mundane tasks that keep my empire running while appearing perfectly... legitimate."

He leaned against his desk, studying Yn with predatory focus. "Besides, having a human assistant provides a certain... cover. No one expects the big bad Original to keep an uncompelled human in his employ." His expression hardened. "Though make no mistake - should you betray this arrangement, the consequences will be far worse than what your former friend had planned for you. Deal?"

Yn thinks for a moment, "Deal"

𐙚⋆˙˚◞♡ ✮⋆˙ ₊˚⊹♡ : ̗̀ 𐙚⋆˙˚◞♡ ✮⋆˙ ₊˚⊹♡ : ̗̀ 𐙚⋆˙˚◞♡ ✮⋆˙ ₊˚⊹♡ : ̗̀ 𐙚

It’s been almost a month since stared Yn working for Klaus. Safe to say, he’s been working her to the bone

Klaus observed her from his study doorway, noting her exhausted demeanor with a mix of satisfaction and cool interest. He held a stack of new contracts in his hands.

"Tired already, love? And here I thought humans were meant to be resilient." He placed the contracts on her desk with deliberate precision. "These need to be reviewed and processed by morning. And do try to stay awake - your last attempt at multitasking resulted in scheduling two different factions at the same time. We wouldn't want another... incident."

He paused, watching Y/N with calculated assessment. "Though I must admit, you've proven more competent than I expected. Perhaps that's why I haven't killed you yet." His tone carried both threat and what might have been the barest hint of approval.

“Seriously?” Y/N groans, “Klaus, it’s 1 am. How am I going to finish these by morning?”

She runs her hands through her hair, “is this your way of slowly killing me?”

Klaus moved behind her chair, his presence looming and intimidating as he leaned down, his breath ghosting against her ear.

"Come now, sweetheart. Surely you're not complaining about our arrangement?" His hand gripped the back of her chair, his knuckles brushing against her spine. "Would you prefer I had left your sister to her fate instead?"

He straightened up, his voice carrying a dangerous edge despite its casual tone. "Though I suppose you have shown admirable dedication these past weeks. Perhaps..." he gathered half the stack of contracts, "I'll have these handled elsewhere. Consider it a reward for your... persistence. But don't mistake this for kindness, love. I expect the remaining ones perfect by morning."

As he exits the room and is out of sight, Y/N murmurs, “asshole” under her breath, forgetting about his supernatural hearing.

In a flash, Klaus reappeared, slamming his hands on either side of the desk with enough force to make her jump. His eyes blazed with dangerous amusement as he leaned forward.

"Careful, love. Hybrid hearing, remember?" His voice dropped to a threatening purr. "I've killed people for far less disrespect. Though your boldness continues to... entertain me." He straightened up, adjusting his jacket with calculated precision.

He moved toward the door again, pausing in the threshold. "Oh, and sweetheart? Since you seem to have enough energy for commentary, perhaps you can handle all these contracts after all." He dropped the stack he'd taken back onto the desk with a heavy thud, his smirk cruel and satisfied. "Consider it a lesson in watching that clever tongue of yours."

Y/N drops her forehead against the desk, groaning.

Klaus left, satisfied smirk on his face. He came back at 8am sharp to collect the contracts. They were all stacked neatly on the table with a sticky note that said ‘done’ in her neat handwriting while she was asleep on the desk

Klaus observed her sleeping form with an unreadable expression, noting the dark circles under her eyes and the way her hair spilled across his contracts. He picked up the stack, leafing through them with meticulous attention.

"Impressive," he muttered under his breath, finding each document properly reviewed and annotated. His jaw clenched slightly, an unfamiliar sensation of... something akin to guilt flickering across his features before being quickly suppressed.

He moved silently around the desk, considering whether to wake her with his usual threatening demeanor. Instead, he found himself removing his jacket and draping it over her shoulders with an almost imperceptible gentleness. "Sleep well, love. You've earned it." His voice was barely a whisper as he stepped back, his expression hardening once more as if catching himself in a moment of weakness.

He turned sharply and left the room, calling out to his hybrids. "No one disturbs her. And if anyone mentions this moment of... leniency, they won't live to repeat it."

Y/N wakes up and hour later, noting his jacket on her. She folds it, tucking it under her arm as she exits the study.

Running into Klaus, “hey,” she was a little grumpy after her nap, “if you want me to take your clothes to the dry cleaners, just ask me. No need to throw them at me while I’m asleep” she grumbles, walking past him.

Klaus was a little stunned. So that’s how she interpreted his little act of kindness Klaus' expression shifted from stunned to amused as he watched her stride past him. In a blur of movement, he appeared in front of her, blocking her path.

"My, my... someone woke up rather presumptuous this morning." His eyes glittered dangerously, though there was a hint of something else beneath his usual threatening demeanor. "Though I must say, love, your interpretation of events is... entertaining. Tell me, do you always assume the worst of those around you, or am I just special?"

He plucked his jacket from under her arm with supernatural speed, his fingers deliberately brushing against hers. "And for future reference, sweetheart - if I wanted you to handle my dry cleaning, it would be added to that rather extensive list of tasks on your desk." His voice carried a mix of irritation and intrigue at her continued boldness.

Y/N furrows her brows, crossing her arms, “then why would you give me your jacket? And yes I always assume the worst. Your not special”

Klaus' eyes darkened dangerously at her dismissive tone, though a smirk played at the corners of his mouth. He stepped closer, invading her personal space with predatory grace.

"Careful, love. Your sharp tongue might finally get you into trouble you can't handle." He tilted his head, studying her with calculated intensity. "As for the jacket... perhaps I simply didn't want my assistant catching a cold. Dead humans are terribly inefficient at paperwork."

He draped his jacket over his arm, his expression cooling. "Though since you're so eager to question my motives, perhaps I should give you more work to occupy that suspicious mind of yours. I hear the werewolves in the Bayou need some... diplomatic attention."

Y/n’s expression turns desperate. “No please. Don’t send me out there. It took me hours last time to get all the mud out from my boots. Just…make me clean the courtyard again. How about that?”

Klaus' expression shifted to one of genuine amusement, a rare sight that quickly vanished behind his usual mask of calculated control. He raised an eyebrow at her desperate negotiation.

"Afraid of a little mud, sweetheart? And here I thought you were fearless, given how readily you challenge an Original Hybrid." He crossed his arms, watching her with predatory interest. "Though I suppose the courtyard does need attention after last night's... festivities."

His eyes narrowed suddenly, remembering her exhaustion. "The courtyard can wait. Get some proper rest - in an actual bed this time. I need you functional for tonight's meeting with the witch covens." His tone remained commanding, though lacking its usual threatening edge. "Consider it a business requirement rather than mercy."

Y/N sighs in relief, “Thank you” she says, turning back to head back to her room.

“Wait” she pauses in her tracks, “Why am I thanking you for not overworking me?” She wonders more to herself. She shakes her head, continuing her walk. She was ready to collapse on the bed

Klaus watched her retreating form, an unexpected chuckle escaping him at her self-questioning gratitude. His expression wavered between amusement and his usual calculated coldness.

"Sweet dreams, love," he called after her, his voice carrying just enough sarcasm to maintain his threatening persona. "Do try not to talk in your sleep about my... supposed kindness. I have a reputation to maintain."

He turned away, barking orders at nearby hybrids to ensure silence in this wing of the compound, though his expression remained carefully neutral. "And if anyone disturbs her rest before the witch meeting, they'll answer to me. We can't have our human negotiator falling asleep at the table... again."

Klaus makes his way to his study, while he was frustrated with the way she reorganized everything, he had to admit, it was more efficient this way

𐙚⋆˙˚◞♡ ✮⋆˙ ₊˚⊹♡ : ̗̀ 𐙚⋆˙˚◞♡ ✮⋆˙ ₊˚⊹♡ : ̗̀ 𐙚⋆˙˚◞♡ ✮⋆˙ ₊˚⊹♡ : ̗̀ 𐙚

Klaus stood in his study, fingers trailing over the meticulously organized files. His jaw clenched as he noted how each document was now perfectly categorized and accessible - a system he hadn't asked for but couldn't deny the effectiveness of.

"Presumptuous little thing," he muttered under his breath, picking up a folder that was color-coded and labeled in her neat handwriting. Despite his irritation at having his space altered, he found himself appreciating the practical efficiency.

He settled into his chair, pouring himself a drink as he examined more of her organizational changes. His expression shifted between annoyance and reluctant approval. "Perhaps keeping her alive wasn't such a terrible decision after all," he mused to himself, before quickly hardening his features as Elijah entered the room.

Elijah entered the study with his characteristic grace, adjusting his suit cuffs as he observed his brother's obvious attempt to appear displeased with the reorganized space.

"Brother," Elijah's voice carried its usual measured tone, "I see your new... assistant has been quite thorough with her duties. Though I must admit, I'm curious about your sudden tolerance for having a human so deeply embedded in our affairs." He moved to stand before Klaus' desk, his expression carefully neutral but observant.

"While I appreciate the efficiency she's brought to our operations, are you certain keeping her here is wise? Your paranoia usually prevents such... arrangements from lasting this long." His eyes flickered to the perfectly organized shelves. "Unless, of course, there's another reason you've allowed her to remain?"

Elijah stepped further into the room, picking up one of the meticulously labeled folders with elegant precision.

“I've noticed how you watch her, Niklaus. The way your usual immediate violence has been... tempered since her arrival." He placed the folder back with deliberate care. "And while I appreciate having someone who can actually maintain proper records, I must question whether your interest in keeping her here stems from something more than mere convenience."

He moved to stand directly before Klaus' desk, his posture perfectly composed as always. "After all, brother, it's not like you to show such... restraint with someone who initially entered our home as part of a plot against you. Even if she was merely a pawn in someone else's game."

This, for some reason, annoys Klaus. He rose from his chair with dangerous fluidity, his expression darkening as he faced his brother.

"Spare me your psychoanalysis, Elijah." His voice carried a threatening edge. "She's here because she's useful, nothing more. And unlike your misguided attempts to 'save' every stray that crosses our path, I keep her here to ensure she won't become a liability."

He moved to pour another drink, his movements sharp with irritation.

“Don't mistake business efficiency for sentiment, brother. The moment she outlives her usefulness or proves treacherous, she'll meet the same fate as all who cross me." His grip tightened on the glass. "Now, unless you have actual business to discuss, I suggest you take your unfounded observations elsewhere."

Klaus turned his back to Elijah, a clear dismissal. "And do remember, brother - not all of us share your weakness for lost causes."

𐙚⋆˙˚◞♡ ✮⋆˙ ₊˚⊹♡ : ̗̀ 𐙚⋆˙˚◞♡ ✮⋆˙ ₊˚⊹♡ : ̗̀ 𐙚⋆˙˚◞♡ ✮⋆˙ ₊˚⊹♡ : ̗̀ 𐙚

The sun starting to set indicated it was time for Y/N to get up. Klaus paused in the doorway, momentarily transfixed by how the setting light filtered through the windows, casting a warm glow across her sleeping form. Her hair splayed across the pillow like liquid gold, her face peaceful in rest - a stark contrast to her usual defiant expressions.

He quickly masked his reaction with his characteristic smirk, striding into the room with purposeful steps. "Rise and shine, love. The witches await, and I won't have them thinking I'm running a boarding house for sluggish humans." His voice carried its usual commanding tone, though lacking some of its usual bite.

He moved to the window, yanking the curtains fully open with deliberate dramatic flair. "Unless you'd prefer I find more... creative ways to wake you? Perhaps a bucket of water, or letting Rebekah loose in your wardrobe?

Y/N groans, pulling the covers over her head, “remind me again why I need to be there?”

Klaus moved swiftly to the edge of the bed, yanking the covers away with supernatural strength and a dangerous smirk.

"Because, sweetheart, the witches are less likely to attempt murder when negotiating with a human." He loomed over her, his eyes glinting with dark amusement. "Besides, your particular brand of... stubbornness seems to work wonders in diplomatic situations. Though I do hope you'll show more enthusiasm than this when facing them."

He crossed to her wardrobe, pulling out a formal dress with deliberate precision. "You have exactly thirty minutes to make yourself presentable. And do try to look intimidating - well, as intimidating as a sleepy human can manage." His voice carried a mix of command and subtle teasing. "After all, you're representing the most powerful family in New Orleans. We have standards to maintain."

Y/N sits up, hair falling around her, the sun hitting her face and hair, highlighting the hazel and gold, “should have killed me in The basement,” she grumbles, taking the dress from him

Klaus froze momentarily, caught off guard by how the sunlight transformed your appearance. His expression flickered between his usual calculated coldness and something more intense before he recovered his composure.

"Now, love, where would be the fun in that?" He stepped back, his voice carrying a dangerous edge despite the slight softening in his gaze. "Besides, death would have been far too merciful. This way, I get to watch you suffer through endless paperwork and tedious meetings."

He moved toward the door, pausing on the threshold to cast one last glance over his shoulder. The sunlight catching her features caused an unfamiliar tightness in his chest that he quickly suppressed. "Twenty-eight minutes now, sweetheart. And do something with that hair - while the sunlit goddess look might be striking, we're aiming for professional intimidation."

An eye roll is all he got back.

Exactly 28 minutes later, steps out but almost runs into Klaus who came to check up.

Y/N had her hair in an elegant bun with some light makeup and the dress he picked out.

Before he can say anything she speaks up, “I don’t have anything with me but…you don’t happen to have a small necklace I could borrow…in the name of professional intimidation”

Klaus studied her with an intensity that bordered on predatory, his eyes trailing from the elegant bun down to where the dress perfectly accentuated her figure. He reached into his pocket with deliberate slowness

"As it happens, love..." He produced an antique silver necklace with a deep blue pendant, its design clearly valuable and centuries old. "I had anticipated such a request. Though I must warn you -" he moved behind her with supernatural grace, his fingers brushing against her neck as he fastened the clasp, "this belonged to a rather powerful witch in the 15th century. The witches we're meeting tonight will recognize it."

His breath ghosted against her ear as he adjusted the pendant. "Consider it a message of sorts - you may be human, but you belong to the Mikaelsons now. Anyone who dares to threaten you..." his voice dropped to a dangerous whisper, "will answer to me."

Y/N would be lying if she said that didn’t send a shiver down her spine. Klaus' lips curved into a predatory smirk at her shiver, his eyes darkening as they met hers at such close proximity. He didn't step back, maintaining the intimate distance.

“Are you sure they won’t want to rip it off my neck for some reason?” She meets his gaze over her shoulder, faces close, “It’s not some ancient witch relic, is it?”

"Worried, sweetheart? And here I thought you were fearless." His fingers traced the chain of the necklace with deliberate slowness. "Rest assured, while it did belong to a powerful witch, she gifted it to me willingly. More or less." His smirk widened at the memory. "Though their reactions to seeing it around a human's neck should prove... entertaining."

He finally stepped around to face her, his expression shifting to something more dangerous. "And if anyone dares to touch it - or you - they'll learn exactly why I've maintained power in this city for so long." His voice carried a possessive edge that seemed to surprise even him. "Now, shall we go make some witches uncomfortable?"

Y/N crosses her arms, smiling sarcastically, “That is your specialty isn't it?”

She follows him out into the courtyard and sees him head for the door rather than the garage. She stops in her tracks, “no,” her expression falls, “Klaus, please tell me we’re not walking to the cemetery. Klaus, you have a car for god’s sake. Multiple, if you would. And I’m wearing heels”

Klaus turned around with exaggerated slowness, his expression a mixture of amusement and mock consideration as he took in her distressed state.

"Come now, love. A little exercise would do you good after all that desk work." His eyes glinted mischievously as he observed her heels. "Though I suppose..." In one fluid motion, he was suddenly beside her, sweeping her up into his arms before she could protest. "We can't have you arriving disheveled. Bad for the family image."

He adjusted his grip with unnecessary thoroughness, a smirk playing at his lips. "Hold on tight, sweetheart. Vampire speed can be... disorienting for humans. Unless you'd prefer that walk after all?" His tone carried both threat and playfulness, clearly enjoying their predicament.

“Klaus!” She immediately wraps her arms around his neck, “This isn't what I—“ She was immediately silenced by him already moving. Feeling dizzy, she buried her face into his neck

Klaus couldn't suppress his satisfied smirk at her reaction, particularly aware of how she instinctively sought shelter against his neck. The scent of her perfume and the warmth of her breath against his skin caused an unexpected surge of... something he quickly pushed aside.

"What's wrong, love? Not enjoying our little adventure?" He purposely took a sharp turn, his grip tightening possessively as she clung closer. "And here I thought you'd appreciate my generous solution to your footwear crisis." His voice carried a mixture of amusement and something darker, more primal.

He slowed to a stop in a secluded area near the cemetery but didn't immediately set her down. "Though I must say, your current position is quite... compromising for someone who claims to hate me so thoroughly." His breath ghosted against her ear as he spoke, deliberately prolonging the moment.

Y/N stays in his neck a bit longer, head spinning before she lifts her head, “Put. Me. Down.” She demands, stumbling as he practically drops her.

Klaus watched her with amusement, noting how her perfectly styled hair was now slightly disheveled from being pressed against his neck. He made no move to help as she steadied yourself, leaning against a tree.

"No promises, sweetheart. Your reactions are far too entertaining." He straightened his jacket with deliberate precision, a smirk playing on his lips. "Though I must say, for someone so adamantly against physical contact, you certainly held on... enthusiastically."

He stepped closer, invading her personal space as she relied on the tree. "Take a moment to compose yourself, love. Can't have you stumbling into the witches' den looking like you've been thoroughly..." his eyes darkened with wicked intent, "compromised. Though the blush on your cheeks is rather becoming."

Y/N glared at him before straightening up, “let’s just go,” she huffed, walking ahead, having to be careful since the ground wasn’t even and she had heels on, “I’m convinced you brought me here as a form of torture”

Klaus fell into step beside her, deliberately matching her careful pace with an air of smug satisfaction.

"Torture? Now there's an idea." He caught her elbow as she stumbled slightly on the uneven ground, his touch lingering longer than necessary.

"Though if I wanted to torture you, love, I assure you it would be far more creative than a mere walk in heels. I have centuries of experience to draw from." His voice carried that dangerous blend of threat and flirtation that he'd begun using more frequently with her.

He guided her around a particularly treacherous patch of ground, his hand moving to rest on the small of her back. "Besides, watching you navigate this terrain in those heels while maintaining your dignity is proving to be quite... entertaining. Consider it payment for reorganizing my study without permission." His smirk widened as he felt her tense under his touch.

Y/N side-glances him before crossing her arms and looking ahead, “And you’re welcome for that. Organizing files by who’s most likely to betray you is not efficient, Klaus”

They finally reached the stone path of the cemetery and she was finally able to walk normally, though Klaus's hand didn't make an effort to move–not that she minded

“Who even meets in a cemetery? Not to mention, it's going to be dark in a bit,” She grumbles.

Klaus rolls his eyes momentarily at the mention of his previous filing system, before shifting to amusement at her continued complaints. He stepped closer, his presence deliberately intimidating.

"Afraid of the dark, sweetheart? Or perhaps it's the dead you're worried about?" His voice dropped lower, more menacing. "Though in this particular cemetery, it's the living you should fear. The witches here are rather... territorial about their sacred ground." He gestured to where several hooded figures were already gathering in the distance

"And my filing system served its purpose for centuries. Though I suppose..." he leaned closer, his breath ghosting her ear, "I'll admit - but only this once - that your method has its merits. Just don't let it go to your head."

That was the closest to a thank-you Y/N was going to get.

Creeped out by the hooded figures, she didn't have time to celebrate the milestone.

She whispers under her breath so only he can hear, “By the way, I don’t hate you. I don’t know where you got that idea from”

Maybe this would incentivize him to protect her a bit more...she hoped.

Klaus faltered almost imperceptibly at your unexpected admission, his hand tensing slightly against your back. His expression shifted through several emotions before settling on his characteristic calculating smirk.

"Careful with such declarations, love." His voice carried a dangerous edge despite its softness. "I might begin to think you're growing fond of your captor. Though..." he drew her slightly closer as they approached the witches, his body language clearly possessive, "your timing is impeccable. Nothing says 'don't touch what's mine' quite like a human who willingly stays."

His eyes scanned the gathering darkness, noting every shadow and movement with predatory awareness. "And for the record, sweetheart - I don't hate you either. You're far too entertaining for that." He leaned in closer, his lips nearly brushing her ear. "Now, shall we go make some witches nervous?"

Y/N lets out a nervous smile, “shouldn't we be nervous of them?” she takes the tiniest step closer to his side, “The witches are not particularly fond of you. You know…you did kill a lot of them”

Y/N has never been around this many witches, “are we supposed to...bow or something?” she asks nervously.

Klaus chuckled at her nervousness, his arm sliding possessively around her waist as the witches' attention fixed on their approach.

"Bow? To them?" His voice dripped with contempt and amusement. "You're wearing a Mikaelson necklace and standing with an Original Hybrid, love. If anyone should be bowing..." he cast a threatening smirk toward the gathering,"it certainly isn't you. Besides," his grip tightened slightly, "I've killed far more than just 'a lot' of them. Best not to dwell on specifics."

He guided her forward with grace, his presence both threatening and protective. "Just remember, sweetheart - you're under my protection now. And while they might hate me," his voice dropped to a dangerous whisper, "they fear me more. Stand tall. Show them why I chose you as my representative."

Y/N straightened up, pushing her shoulder back, and plastering a smile, “you owe me dinner after this” she whispers

“Hello, witches of New Orleans. Thank you for meeting with us. We hope we can come to an agreement…”

𐙚⋆˙˚◞♡ ✮⋆˙ ₊˚⊹♡ : ̗̀ 𐙚⋆˙˚◞♡ ✮⋆˙ ₊˚⊹♡ : ̗̀ 𐙚⋆˙˚◞♡ ✮⋆˙ ₊˚⊹♡ : ̗̀ 𐙚

A long meeting with the witches ensues and Klaus surprisingly lets Y/N do a lot of the talking–more than she expected.

As the meeting concluded, Klaus maintained his composed exterior, though his eyes gleamed with something akin to pride at how she handled the negotiations. He waited until the witches were out of earshot before speaking.

"Impressive performance, love. Particularly the part where you convinced them their demands were their own idea." He turned to face her, his expression a mix of satisfaction and dark amusement. "As for dinner..." his hand found its way back to her waist, "I suppose you've earned it. Though I warn you - my taste runs rather... expensive."

He glanced around the now-empty cemetery, the moonlight casting eerie shadows. "Now, shall we discuss your reward over a meal, or would you prefer another exhilarating journey in my arms?" His smirk widened as he noted her immediate reaction to the suggestion. "The restaurant I have in mind is quite a distance to walk in those heels."

Y/N massages get temples, “seriously?” She lets out a sigh, contemplating. One one hand, she hated the way she felt during and after the fast journey. On the other hand, she was wearing heels and the restaurant was far. Not to mention the way his hands felt around her as they— “Fine” she grumbled.

Since he already had a hand on her waist, she put her hands around his shoulders, “and I don’t care where we go. I’m starving so this place better have something greasy”

Klaus' smirk deepened at her voluntary embrace, his arms settling around her with possessive intent. "Greasy food? And here I was planning to introduce you to fine French cuisine." His eyes glinted with mischief in the moonlight. "Though I suppose I can lower my standards. Just this once."

"Hold on tight, sweetheart." He pulled her closer than strictly necessary, one hand cradling the back of her head to his shoulder. "And do try not to scream this time. Though I must admit," his voice dropped to a sultry whisper, "I rather enjoyed having you pressed so intimately against my neck."

Before she could respond, he tightened his grip with deliberate thoroughness."Now, let's see if we can't find something... greasy enough to satisfy your questionable palate."

“It’s not ques—“ but Klaus sped away before she can finish. Y/N closed her eyes, pressing her face against him.

Klaus purposefully took the longer route, savoring the warmth of her body against his and the way her fingers unconsciously gripped his jacket. He finally slowed to a stop in front of an upscale restaurant, but didn't immediately release her.

"Still with me, love?" His voice carried equal parts amusement and something darker as he felt her lingering grip. "Though I must say, for someone who protested so vehemently against being carried, you seem rather... comfortable." His hand slid from her waist to the small of her back, maintaining the intimate contact.

He leaned down, his lips nearly brushing her ear. "You can open your eyes now, sweetheart. Unless..." his voice dropped to a seductive whisper, "you prefer staying in this position? Though I should warn you, we're attracting quite an audience."

Y/N immediately let’s go, stumbling a bit, “yeah, I’m attracting the audience. Not the way you suddenly flashed us here” she quips sarcastically, adjusting her dress.

“You know, if I didn’t see your million dollar car collection in the garage with my own eyes, I’d excuse you using this as your main mode of transportation” she complains

Klaus steadied her with a touch that lingered longer than necessary, watching with unconcealed amusement as she tried to regain her composure.

"Perhaps I simply enjoy watching you cling to me in terror." He guided her toward the restaurant entrance with his hand returning to the small of her back. "Though if you'd prefer, next time I could always throw you over my shoulder instead. Much less... intimate." His smirk widened as he held the door open, clearly enjoying her discomfort

He leaned closer, his breath ghosting her neck where his necklace still rested. "As for my cars, love - they don't afford me the pleasure of feeling you tremble against me. Now," he straightened up, maintaining his taunting smile, "shall we see about finding you something appropriately greasy, or are you going to continue complaining about my preferred method of transportation?"

"That depends on how the food gets here. Food equals no complaining. So you better compel someone to speed this up.” I take a seat, crossing my arms and one leg over the other

Klaus orders some appetizers. As they arrived, he turned to Y/N, assessing her before speaking, "You know, love, one of these days I'd like it if you just...perhaps did as I commanded rather than complain about it" he said with amusement sparkling in his eyes, no matter how hard he tried to hide it.

Y/N looks up from her salad, furrowing her brows, “Hey! I do follow your commands…maybe not as enthusiastically as you would wish but I do. I’m in debt to you.” she stabs the mix of spinach, lettuce, and arugula, “and…grateful” she adds in a low voice, not looking up at him

Klaus stilled at her admission, his usual mask of calculated control slipping for just a moment to reveal genuine surprise. He studied her intently, noting she you avoided his gaze.

"Grateful?" His voice carried an unusual softness before he caught himself, returning to his characteristic smirk. "Well, that's certainly a first. Though I must say, love, your definition of following commands is rather..." he leaned forward, his finger ghosting over the back of her hand, "creative. Particularly when it comes to my study organization."

His expression shifted to something more intense, more genuine despite his attempt at maintaining his usual dangerous demeanor. "Look at me, sweetheart." His voice was commanding but held an undertone of something else. "Your debt was paid the moment you managed to make those witches bend to our will tonight. Your continued presence is now entirely your choice - though I warn you," his smirk returned with intimidating intent, "I might not let you leave so easily."

Y/N's hand stills and she looks up at him quickly, “What?” she whispers, “So, you’re saying that…if I wanted to…I could stop being your assistant.”

Y/N didn’t expect this. Sheh thought he’d keep her around longer. She…was starting to enjoy her ‘job’

Klaus observed her reaction with intense scrutiny, noting every micro-expression that crossed her face. His hand moved to capture hers fully now, his thumb tracing small circles on her wrist.

"Technically speaking, yes." His voice carried a dangerous edge despite its softness. "Though I find myself... curious about your reaction, love. You seem almost disappointed." He leaned closer across the table, his eyes darkening with possessive intent. "Could it be that you've grown accustomed to our little arrangement? Or perhaps..." his grip tightened slightly on her wrist, "you've developed a taste for power? For danger?"

Y/N's brows pinch, looking down at his hand before back at him, “Disappointed? Maybe.”

She sighs, “It’s just that…this might sound silly but…for once I feel like I belong somewhere. I might have been here as a captive but I was needed. You know what I mean?”

He leaned back slightly, adopting his more calculating demeanor. "Careful with such sentiments, sweetheart. They tend to lead to messy emotional attachments."

He released her wrist, reaching for his drink. "I'm offering you a position of power, nothing more. The choice to stay or go is yours, though I warn you -" his smirk turned wicked, "leaving might prove more difficult than you'd expect. You've become quite... entertaining."

"Of course, if you stayed willingly..." his voice dropped to a seductive whisper, "the dynamics of our relationship might shift rather... interestingly. No longer my captive assistant, but something else entirely."

“What do you mean by something else entirely?”

Klaus' expression shifted to something more predatory, pushing aside an unfamiliar warmth that her words stirred. He focused instead on the purely physical attraction he felt.

"Something more... mutually beneficial," his voice carried deliberate sensual undertones. "You've proven yourself useful, love. And I do so enjoy having someone who isn't afraid to challenge me, within reason of course." His eyes darkened with dangerous intent.

Y/M leans back in her seat, “I’m too hungry to make such decisions. I’ll decide later” she says before digging into the pasta the waiter just set in front of her

Klaus watched her eat with amusement, taking a sip of his bourbon. The way she deflected his implications with such casual dismissal both irritated and intrigued him.

"By all means, love, enjoy your... commoner's fare." He gestured to her pasta with mock disdain, though his eyes remained fixed on you with dangerous intensity. "Though I must say, your ability to dismiss life-altering decisions in favor of pasta is rather..." he paused, searching for the right word, "uniquely human."

He leaned forward, deliberately invading your space across the table. "Just remember, sweetheart - while you contemplate your future over carbohydrates, that necklace around your throat still marks you as mine. For now." His voice carried a possessive edge that surprised even him, which he quickly masked with his characteristic threatening smirk.

During the dinner, Y/N nervously drank a little too much wine, turning into a giggling mess

Klaus observed her increasingly uninhibited state with a mixture of amusement and interest, noting how her usual sharp edges had softened into something more vulnerable.

"Well, well... who knew a few glasses of wine would transform my defiant little assistant into such a..." he caught her as she nearly knocked over her glass, "delightfully uncoordinated creature." His hand lingered on hers longer than necessary, his eyes darkening with dangerous intent.

He stood with fluid grace, moving to her side of the table.

"I believe it's time we got you home, love, before you decide to reorganize this restaurant as well."

He helped her up with deliberate thoroughness, his arm sliding around her waist possessively.

"Though I must admit, drunk Y/N is proving to be quite... entertaining. Perhaps I should have plied you with wine weeks ago."

She giggles, turning her head to Klaus, “are you taking us back with your vampire speed? Are we going to go whoooosh!” She gestures dramatically with her hand, tilting her head back and giggling.

Klaus caught her as she swayed, his expression torn between exasperation and amusement. The scent of wine on her breath mingled with her perfume, causing him to tighten his grip instinctively.

"'Whoosh', indeed." He steadied her against him, his voice carrying both mockery and annoyance. "Though in your current state, love, you're more likely to empty your stomach than enjoy the ride."

Despite his words, he found himself fighting back a smirk at her uncharacteristically carefree behavior.

He guided her toward the exit, his arm firmly around her waist. "For once, we're taking a car. Can't have you stumbling through the Quarter in this state - you'd ruin my fearsome reputation."

He leaned closer, his breath ghosting her ear. "Though I must say, your current vulnerability is... tempting. Lucky for you, I prefer my conquests fully conscious and combative."

“Conquests” she repeats with a snort. “What are we? In the 1700s?”

They exit the restaurant and the chilly air hits them. “Can we walk? I want to walk. Please let’s walk”

Klaus watched her with amusement as she attempted to walk straight, his hand remaining firmly on her waist despite her protests.

"The 1700s were quite entertaining, actually. Though significantly less hygienic." He pulled her closer as she shivered in the night air, though he told himself it was merely to keep her from stumbling.

"And while I'm enjoying this unusually compliant version of you saying 'please,' walking might prove... challenging." His smirk widened as she swayed slightly.

He shrugged off his jacket, draping it over her shoulders with unexpected care that he immediately masked with his usual threatening demeanor. "Ten minutes. Then we're taking a car before you decide to befriend every stranger in the Quarter. I have a reputation to maintain, and my assistant stumbling down Bourbon Street giggling would hardly inspire fear."

Y/N gasps, “Let’s go!” She says cheerfully, taking his arm and pulling him down the street.

The streets of New Orleans were still bustling this time at night. Y/N was looking around in wonder, “you know I’ve never been out in the quarter at night. My parents never met me and even when I moved out alone, I just never did”

Klaus allowed himself to be pulled along, noting how her fingers unconsciously tightened around his arm. He found himself oddly... protective of her wide-eyed wonder, scanning the crowds with predatory awareness of any potential threats.

"Probably wise of them," he remarked, smoothly steering her away from a particularly rowdy group of tourists, glaring at them with disdain.

"The Quarter at night tends to attract all manner of creatures. Vampires, werewolves..." his voice dropped lower, more dangerous, "drunk college students. Though currently, you're with the most dangerous creature of all."

He pulled her closer as someone brushed past too quickly, his arm moving possessively around her waist. "Perhaps we should make this your first and last nocturnal adventure. You're far too... vulnerable like this." He told himself his protective instincts were merely about preserving a valuable asset, nothing more.

Y/N gasps, “omg Klaus! A churro stand!” She lets go of his hand, and rushes over, getting in line, turning back to look at Klaus with a grin, gesturing for him to come over

Klaus watched her childlike enthusiasm with a mixture of exasperation and something else he refused to acknowledge. He stalked over with predatory grace, glaring at anyone who dared to stand too close to her in line.

"First pasta, now carnival food?" He positioned himself behind her, one hand returning to her waist as if it belonged there. "Your culinary choices are becoming increasingly concerning, love." Despite his words, he found himself oddly... affected by her genuine smile - a sharp contrast to her usual guarded expressions.

He leaned down, his breath ghosting her ear. "Though I suppose I should be grateful you're not suggesting we try every food vendor in the Quarter. The mighty Klaus Mikaelson, reduced to chaperoning his drunk assistant on a street food adventure..." His tone was mocking, but his grip remained protectively firm.

They finally get to the front of the line but the vendor apologize, stating he just ran out.

“Oh” Y/N say in a defeated tone, her shoulders sagging. “That’s fine. Thanks anyways” she turns back to Klaus, “let’s go” she mumbles, clearly affected.

Klaus caught the genuine disappointment in her voice as she starts to walk, something unfamiliar tightening in his chest. He shot a dangerous look at the vendor before turning back to her.

"Wait here." His voice carried its usual command as he stepped toward the stand, compelling the vendor in low, threatening tones. "It seems he miraculously found one last serving." He returned with the churro, his expression daring anyone to question how he acquired it.

He handed it to Y/N, quickly masking his satisfaction at her brightening expression with his characteristic smirk. "Consider this a one-time indulgence. Can't have people thinking I've gone soft just because my assistant pouts over street food." He guided her away from the stand, his hand returning to its now-familiar position at your waist. "Though if you breathe a word of this to anyone, particularly Rebekah, I'll deny it entirely."

Her eyes immediately light up, taking it from his hand and taking a bite. “This is so good” she says with her mouth full. She tears a piece off, “here” she says, offering it to him as they continue walking

Klaus stared at the offered piece with a mixture of disdain and something dangerously close to endearment, which he quickly suppressed.

"I don't eat carnival food, love." Despite his words, he found himself accepting the piece, if only to stop her from continuing to wave it in front of his face. "A thousand years of refined taste, reduced to street vendor churros. What would my enemies say?" His tone was mocking, but his hand remained steady at her waist, thumb absently tracing circles.

He watched her continue to eat with childlike joy, fighting back an unbidden smile. "I trust this sugar-induced happiness means you'll be more agreeable about taking a car the rest of the way? The last thing I need is you falling asleep on some random street corner."

Y/N finish’s the last of her churro, disregarding everything he’s saying, “Klaus, my feet hurt” she whines, sitting at the nearest bench.

“These heels are killing me”

Klaus rolled his eyes skyward, as if seeking patience from whatever deity might be listening. With supernatural speed, he was suddenly crouched before her.

"Of course they do. Humans and their perpetual fragility." Without warning, he efficiently unbuckled her heels, his fingers lingering longer than necessary against her ankles. "Though I must say, love, drunk you is significantly more demanding than sober you. An impressive feat I didn't think possible."

He stood in one fluid motion, tucking her heels under his arm before scooping her up without preamble. "Now, no arguments about vampire speed. You've lost all right to complain after that churro incident." His voice was stern but his grip was careful, adjusting her against his chest with deliberate thoroughness."Unless you'd prefer to walk barefoot through the Quarter? I'm sure that would do wonders for my reputation."

She giggles, “I thought you were getting us a car, huh?” She teases, closing her eyes and resting her head against his chest

Klaus stilled momentarily at her casual intimacy, an unfamiliar warmth threatening to surface that he quickly buried beneath his usual cold demeanor.

"The car was when you could still walk straight, love." He adjusted his hold, one hand curling possessively around her waist while the other supported her legs. "Now you're just giving me excuses to..." he paused, noting how your breathing had already started to even out, "Are you falling asleep on me, sweetheart?"

His voice carried a dangerous edge, though his grip remained surprisingly gentle. "I suggest you hold on tight. And if you drool on my shirt, I'll make you reorganize my entire library... alphabetically." Despite his threatening words, he found himself moving with unusual care, telling himself it was merely to avoid dealing with a nauseous assistant.

In a flash, they were back at the compound. Y/N opens her eyes, “yay, we’re home” she says with a yawn as he sets her down.

Home

She’s only event called it ‘the compound’. She’s never called it ‘home’

She suddenly frowns, “where was my room again?”

Klaus caught her slip of the tongue, something dark and possessive flaring in his eyes. He kept his hand at her waist as she swayed slightly, telling himself it was merely to prevent her from stumbling.

"'Home,' is it?" His voice carried a dangerous blend of amusement and something more possessive. "Careful with such declarations, love. I might start thinking you actually enjoy being here." He guided her toward the stairs, his grip tightening as she nearly missed a step.

He let out an exasperated sigh that didn't quite mask his amusement at your disoriented state. "Your room is upstairs, though in your current state, you'd likely end up wandering into Elijah's study instead."

Without warning, he swept her up again. "Consider this a one-time courtesy. Tomorrow, you'll be back to navigating these halls on your own, preferably less... intoxicated."

Klaus makes his way up to her room and Y/N was being surprisingly quiet the whole way up

He sets her down on the bed, as he turns to leave. He hears a sniffle coming from behind him

Klaus froze at the doorway, his shoulders tensing at the sound. He turned slowly, his expression a dangerous mixture of irritation and something else he refused to name.

"Now what?" His voice carried its usual threatening edge, though he found himself moving back toward the bed despite his better judgment. "If you're about to become emotional over churros, sweetheart, I'll have to seriously reconsider your position here." He loomed over her, studying her face with puzzlement.

When Abe didn’t say anything, he crouched down to her eye level, his hand gripping her chin with careful force. "Out with it. What's causing this particularly human display of weakness? And do make it quick - I have far better things to do than comfort my drunk assistant."

Y/N’s eyes well up with a fresh set of tears, “I don’t want to go, Klaus” she blinks, the tears falling.

Klaus was confused. Go where? It took him a second before he realized. He stilled completely, caught off guard by her raw honesty. Something unfamiliar twisted in his chest, which he quickly suppressed beneath layers of calculated control.

"Then don't go." The words came out more commanding than intended. His thumb unconsciously wiping away a tear before he caught himself.

"Stay. Continue being my insufferably efficient assistant. Though these tears..." his thumb traced her bottom lip with dangerous intent, "they stop now. I don't tolerate weakness, even from you."

He stood abruptly, putting deliberate distance between them. "Sleep it off. If you still want to stay when you're sober, we'll... discuss terms." He moved toward the door, his voice dropping to a dangerous whisper. "Though I warn you - once you choose to stay, there's no going back. I don't let go of what's mine easily."

Klaus leaves the room, heading to his study. 20 minutes layer and his vampire hearing still picked up on the grunts, huffs, and sighs of frustration that were coming from her room. And honestly…were driving him crazy

Klaus gripped his bourbon glass tighter with each sound that filtered through, his jaw clenching in growing irritation. The noises were becoming increasingly... distracting.

He stalked to her door with predatory grace, throwing it open without warning. "What precisely are you doing that requires such an impressive array of frustrated sounds?" His voice carried dangerous annoyance, though his eyes darkened at the sight before him.

Y/N yelps, spinning around to the door when Klaus walks in. “You startled me”

He leaned against the doorframe, taking in her obvious struggle with what appeared to be her dress zipper. "By all means, continue. This is proving far more entertaining than the contracts awaiting my attention." His smirk held equal parts mockery and interest. "Though I must say, love, for someone so capable of reorganizing my entire study, you seem remarkably challenged by basic clothing removal."

She rolls her eyes, hands dropping to her sides, “well, I don’t exactly have the mobility to bend my hands behind my back like mobility I have to carry books”

She goes back to trying, “now…if you’ll excuse me…I don’t care to be…judged right…now” she grunts in between words

Klaus watched her futile attempts with amusement, his gaze tracking every frustrated movement.

"Oh, by all means, continue this entertaining display." He pushed off the doorframe, stalking toward her with deliberate slowness. "Though at this rate, you'll still be struggling when the sun rises." Without warning, he was suddenly behind her, his breath ghosting her neck.

His fingers brushed aside her hair, lingering at the nape of your neck. "Hold still." His voice carried its usual command as he gripped the zipper.

"Consider this payment for having to endure your incessant noises interrupting my work." He drew the zipper down with deliberate thoroughness, his knuckles grazing her spine. "Though I warn you - next time you need assistance undressing, you might want to consider asking before the frustrated sounds drive me to violence."

“Oh…forgot you can hear me. I apologize”

Y/N steps over to the closet, “though in my defense, almost everything drives you to violence” she grabs a tank top and shorts from the cabinet, “you almost daggered Kol because he was chewing too loud”

Klaus' eyes followed her movement with interest, his expression darkening at her casual mention of his violent tendencies.

"Kol was being deliberately provocative. As are you, with your... observations." He remained where he was, making no move to leave despite the clear indication that she were about to change. "Though I must say, love, for someone who claims to fear me, you're remarkably comfortable discussing my homicidal tendencies."

He tilted his head, studying her. "Perhaps the wine has made you forget exactly who you're talking to. Shall I provide a reminder of why even my siblings tread carefully?" His voice dropped to a threatening whisper, though there was a hint of something else beneath the menace - almost like amusement.

“Oh please, if you wanted to kill me you would have by now.” She plops on the bed, facing him while keeping a hand on her chest to keep the dress from falling over, “but if you are feeling particularly homicidal tonight, then by all means, go ahead. If I'm sober, I won’t go down as silently”

Klaus moved with vampire speed, suddenly looming over her, one hand planted beside your hip on the bed while the other gripped her chin with dangerous intent.

"Careful, love." His voice was a lethal whisper, his eyes darkening as they fixed on hers. "There are far worse things I could do than kill you." His thumb traced her bottom lip with deliberate slowness. "And your current state of inebriated defiance is making several of them rather... tempting. "He leaned closer, his breath ghosting her ear.

"Now, while I do so enjoy this boldness of yours, I suggest you get some sleep before you say something that makes me forget why I find you useful alive." He pulled back slightly, his smirk turning predatory. "Unless you'd like to continue testing my patience? Though I warn you - drunk or not, there are limits to my tolerance for insolence."

She shakes her head almost immediately, “I’m sorry, I’ll go to sleep now”

She lets go of the dress, letting it fall into her lap, sitting there in a bra, reaching for the shirt she took out of her closet

Klaus' eyes darkened dangerously at her casual display, his grip on her chin tightening fractionally before he abruptly released her. He stepped back with deliberate control, his expression shifting to something more predatory.

"Playing with fire, sweetheart." His voice carried a threatening edge as he moved toward the door. "Best be more careful with your... state of undress. Even my legendary self-control has its limits." He paused at the threshold, his back to her.

He glanced over his shoulder, his eyes conveying dangerous intent. "Sleep well, love. And do try to keep the frustrated noises to a minimum. Next time I might not be so... gentlemanly in my assistance." With that, he pulled the door shut behind him, telling himself his quickened pulse was merely from irritation.

𐙚⋆˙˚◞♡ ✮⋆˙ ₊˚⊹♡ : ̗̀ 𐙚⋆˙˚◞♡ ✮⋆˙ ₊˚⊹♡ : ̗̀ 𐙚⋆˙˚◞♡ ✮⋆˙ ₊˚⊹♡ : ̗̀ 𐙚

Klaus went back to his room, sitting a smug-looking Rebekah sitting on one of the chairs, noting her presence with irritation. Her knowing smirk only heightened his annoyance.

"Not a word, sister." He moved to pour himself another bourbon, his movements deliberately controlled.

"Oh, come now, Nik." Rebekah's voice dripped with amusement. "I just witnessed my fearsome hybrid brother playing gentleman to a drunk human. How could I possibly stay silent?"

Klaus turned with dangerous speed, his expression darkening. "She's a useful asset, nothing more. Though if you're so interested in her welfare, perhaps you'd like to help her undress next time?" His grip tightened on the glass.

"Please," Rebekah scoffed, standing with elegant grace. "We both know why you rushed to her aid. Though I must say, brother, denial looks rather pathetic on you." She moved toward the door, pausing with a mischievous glint in her eye. "Just remember - the last time you had a human assistant, didn’t end so well. Careful history doesn't repeat itself."

Klaus hurled his glass at the door as she disappeared.

Later on, Klaus stood on his balcony, nursing a drink as he thought about his previous assistant. He stares out over the Quarter, his fingers tightening around the glass as unwanted memories surfaced. Camille - the brave human who dared to psychoanalyze him, who saw past his darkness. Who died because of her connection to him.

He drained his glass with brutal efficiency, his jaw clenching as he heard Y/N’s steady heartbeat from her room. No, this was different. Y/N was merely useful - her efficiency, her boldness, her irritating habit of challenging him while somehow making his empire run smoother. Nothing more.

His knuckles whitened around the glass as Rebekah's words echoed in his mind. Love was a vampire's greatest weakness, and he was not weak. He would not make the same mistake again. "She's an asset," he growled to himself, though the words rang hollow in the night air. "Nothing more." Yet even as he said it, he found himself tracking her heartbeat, telling himself it was merely to ensure she hadn't choked on her own drunken stupor.

𐙚⋆˙˚◞♡ ✮⋆˙ ₊˚⊹♡ : ̗̀ 𐙚⋆˙˚◞♡ ✮⋆˙ ₊˚⊹♡ : ̗̀ 𐙚⋆˙˚◞♡ ✮⋆˙ ₊˚⊹♡ : ̗̀ 𐙚

Finally got part two out.I think the story is coming along well. Let me know what you think!! I’ll definitely have three ready a lot sooner.

Part 3

Taglist: @ariesandwolves @holyredemption @s-a-v-a-n-a-34

#klaus mikaelson #the originals #tvdu #klaus mikaelson x reader #klaus mikealson fanfiction

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just-some-random-blogger · 1 year ago

Text

Edge Of Ever After | 2

Part 1 2 3

Sandor runs his fingers down my spine and sighs, "everything I ever touch goes to shit." He grabs my hip and pulls me close. I turn to him and nestle my face into his chest. He traps me in his arms, "but you... you turn my shit into gold."

Sandor Clegane x Reader | 6k+ | cw: fem!reader, wife!reader, POV shifts!, mentions/depictions of pregnancy/miscarriage/mensuration/the likes, enemies to lovers, remnants of forced marriage, slow burn, angst, emotional unavailability, emotional vulnerability, The Hound being abrasive, miscommunication, fluff, typos, etc.

A/N: about time i posted the next part here on tumblr this is originally posted on ao3

I gag as I watch maester Yannick swirl around a flask of my urine by the window. He holds it by the light and I have to look away as he inspects it.

"I wouldn't hold my breath, maester," I mutter as the man heads towards his desk.

"Of course not. You're doing it for me," he says as he places the sample down and scribbles on parchment, "now. Any cravings, besides the obvious strawberry pie one."

I suck in a deep breath before sighing, "no. None at all."

Maester Yannick turns to me and squints, "any physical symptoms? Mood swings? Sore breasts?"

I lightly clear my throat and shake my head, "none."

He turns back to his journal and writes something. He takes a moment before asking, "when was the last time you coupled?"

I wipe my face and buzz my lips, "...10 days?"

He chuckles, "well that explains it."

"E-... Explains what?"

"Why he's so much of a hound lately," he closes his journal with a thud, "nasty temper that one-- but what do you expect from a man who drinks wine like water?"

I lick my lips and pick at my nails.

"Pah, don't worry," he waves me off, "you married a grump. He was grumpier before," he raises a brow, "and I didn't have to be there to know it."

Maester Yannick walks over to me, grabs my shoulders and nods, "now. My learned self deduces you are probably in the early stages of childbearing." He raises a finger, "that being said, you have had issues with your moon cycle before."

The old man releases me, only to push me towards the door. I look at him in panic as he seems not to want to continue what he was going to say.

"My dear," he opens the door, "my advice is to simply wait."

"Wait?!" I pull away from him to face him, "what does that mean?"

"It means just go about your day. Don't think about this because we cannot be certain of a consensus. Go to the festival in the town. Bring your dogs. Bring your husband," he motions to the open door, "make merry. It's good for your health, and for whatever life you could possibly - if the gods will it - be carrying."

Maester Yannick effectively kicks me out of his office after that.

He was horrible with that news, and rather vague. I don't know if I should cry, be angry, or be sad. Or happy? Should I be happy? Well... I don't know what I am.

I find myself recounting everything our maester told me as I walk down the hallway. When I make my way to the living area, I am greeted by 3 cold snouts of 3 pups that were getting too big to be called that in my opinion.

I smile at them and head towards the settee. I sit down and grab the ball I left there, throwing the thing into the hall, watching the dog siblings clamour after it. I continue to do this and only stop whenever there's someone passing by.

At some point, in my absentmindedness, I throw the ball too hard and it hits the end of the hall, bouncing off into the other. I watch the dogs chase after it and sequentially have to chase after them.

Seeings as the pups were great retrievers, I was expecting them to meet me halfway in the hall as I followed. When they don't, I call out to them with concern.

"Go on," a gruff voice says, "your mam's calling you lot."

I reach the end of the hall and see Sandor shooing away the three beasts by the door to his office. I smile at him as he growls to intimidate them; the dogs only bark back and wag their tails.

"Let the poor man go," I say as I walk over.

Sandor looks up at me. I chuckle as I watch his annoyed expression soften.

He purses his lips and steps forward, "they don't listen to me."

"They do," I cross my arms, "they just want to play.'

"Then they clearly don't listen to me," he corrects.

I shrug, "they do."

He rolls his eyes and places a hand on his hips, "did you want to go to the festival? The townsfolk have been fucking yapping to me about it. They want to see you."

I tighten my arms around me as I think about what Yannick said again.

Sandor's eyes dart down, landing on my chest. His nose twitches and he clears his throat as he looks away.

"I want to go but I..." I hesitate.

It catches Sandor's attention and makes him look back at me.

"I have something to tell you."

His brows furrow, "what is it?"

Lilac begins to bark loudly. It makes both of us turn to her and shush her out of instinct. She barks some more just to drive her point then shakes her floppy ears.

Sandor, finally having enough, picks up Lilac, and she immediately stops barking. He makes a face at the dog as she lolls her tongue out, clearly happy to be finally be carried.

I giggle and pet her head, "such a pampered princess."

The Hound side eyes her.

It's not long until Rose and Sage are barking up their protests. The Hound has no choice but to carry three pups in his arms.

I chuckle as I watch Sage make a fuss, like always. He liked having his front paws on Sandor's shoulder, and so he fussed until he got what he wanted. Sandor cradled the two girls in his arms.

"You were saying?" mutters my husband, pretending to be more annoyed than he actually was.

I frown, "they don't like it when I carry them."

"You can't carry them," he adjusts his hold, "not all at once."

I huff and pet Rose on the head. She leans into my touch.

"Well?"

I look at Sandor, "hmm?"

"You have something to tell me," he repeats.

I weigh the options in my head. I decide on what to say and stop petting Rose in lieu of petting Lilac. I suck in a breath, "I want to buy a melon."

He knits his brows, "what?"

I stroke Sage on the back and he turns around only to look away a second later, "I want to buy a melon. At the festival."

"That's it?"

I nod and lie, "that's it."

He half shrugs, "then we'll get a melon. Why'd you say it like you meant to say you don't want to go with me?"

"I do!"

"You don't want to go-"

"I WANT TO GO WITH YOU!"

He presses his lips together. He is unable to hold back his chuckle but then wipes off his grin, and shrugs, "so? What's the problem?"

"It's just..." I think of an excuse to cover up my lie, "I feel bad that you carried that pumpkin all the way here from the market."

Sandor raises his brows. He looks disgusted. His lips twitch, "I carried a cow once, you know that?"

I blink at his words and debate its truth.

"Look," he rocks the pups in his hands, "three fucking wee cows right now."

I break into a laugh.

He looks like he's about to set the pups down but he stops himself when he sees how they look like they're about to doze off. He sighs, "we're not bringing these mutts."

He grumbles all the way to their dog bed where he gently puts them down.

I babble about why I wanted a melon to Sandor all the way to the festival to continue making my agitation over what I really wanted to tell him subside. We decided to walk because I said I wanted to pick flowers on the way, even though the truth was... I wanted the travel to the festival to be longer.

The festival was a harvest event where the folks celebrated their crops. They held some contests for their livestock and their plants, and they also did pantomime and jigs. At least that's what I could remember from the little memory I had of it as a child.

"Oh, look!" I point to a flower, "that looks beautiful."

Sandor sighs as I rush towards a large flower. He shakes his head and places his hands on his hips as he follows after me, "love, at this point, we're not going to get to the festival. You keep heading the other way."

I pluck the flower and bring it into the small bouquet I had in my hand. I looked at my arrangement and decided it was too... yellow for it.

I shake my head and walk towards Sandor, "too yellow."

He looks down as I hand it to him. He raises his brows, "what do you want me to do?" He takes the flower and makes a face, "paint it?"

"Mmmmmm.... maybe you can-"

A scream of terror cuts me off.

My heart drops and immediately, Sandor pulls me behind him. He places his hand on his scabbard, glad to never leave the house without steel.

There is a rustle by the foliage.

He says over his shoulder, "step back."

I do so without question.

It doesn't take long until there's a running sound getting closer. Quickly, a woman, ragged and panting, emerges from behind the trees.

"HELP!"

Sandor is on his guard.

She was being pursued by a woodland monster. I was mortified to see it and was ready to run back home.

Sandor chuckles when he sees how tiny it was. He screams to taunt the beast and draws it away from me and the woman. Sure enough, the thing begins to head towards him and, in truth, I'm a bit concerned by how easily he killed it and how... happy he looked to do so.

Sandor sheathes his sword without wiping it off and head towards me. He looks at me with concern, "are you alright?"

I stare at him, wondering about the damage killing so many monsters was doing to him.

Sandor looks to the ground and picks something up. He takes my hand and I look down to see him placing the flowers I picked back into my hold. I hadn't even realized I dropped them. It was at this moment I was snapped back into reality. There was a woman being chased just a few seconds ago.

I turn and see the said person, clutching her chest as she caught her breath. I walk towards her, "are you hurt?"

Sandor makes sure to keep me behind him as we approach her.

She gasps for air twice before turning to me to shake her head, "no..." she pants, "but I am thirsty."

I turn to Sandor, who looks at me for a few seconds then her. He tilts his head, "why were you in the woods?"

"Sandor," I scold for not immediately offering to give her water.

"I was trying to forage food," she sighs, "I thought it was safe enough to do that now. Clearly I was wrong "

I nudge Sandor on the rib. He sighs, "you want some water?"

She nods quickly.

He looks at me and I smile at him. I turn to the woman, "my husband and I would be glad to give you some."

She sighs in relief, "thank you."

Sandor did not once take his eyes off the woman, not even when I nudged him with my elbow for glaring.

Lorena was her name. I sat next to her on our bench in our front yard, watching as she finished an entire ewer of water.

She sets her cup down on the space between us with a sigh. I smile at her when she turns to me. She wipes her lips on her sleeve, "thank you kindly, lady."

"You're welcome."

"Alright, you had your drink," Sandor says, "time to go."

I make a face as Sandor comes to Lorena's side, "Sandor."

Lorena stands up, "may I say one thing before I go, Lady Clegane."

My forehead wrinkles. I stand as well, "of course. And pay no mind to my husband. You may stay to catch your breath if you'd like."

The Hound scoffs, "then she'll ask for a meal, and a place to stay."

I nearly roll my eyes but decide to cover my annoyance with a smile.

Lorena gives me a solemn expression, "may I speak freely?"

For a second, I wonder why she had to preface with this, but I disregard the thought and nod, "of course."

"You have a monster with you, large and viscous."

My expression drops. I part my lips, "... I beg your pardon?"

Lorena turns to Sandor. I am flabbergasted by her offensive insinuation

My eyes dart between the two. My husband seems wholely unfazed by the horrendous accusation, which makes it all the more unbearable for me. I do not get the opportunity to speak however.

"Your endeavor to purge the forest is futile, so long as she lives like this," Lorena tells Sandor.

I chuckle dryly, "I BEG your pardon?!"

She turns to me and knits her brows. She looks worried and shakes her head, "you must get cleansed by a spellcaster who has the same or more power than the one who cursed your family, Lady Clegane."

I freeze at her words. My brows knit. I blink rapidly, stunned by what she was saying now.

Sandor narrows his eyes, "what curse?"

Lorena turns back to Sandor, as if in disbelief of his question. Regardless, she clarifies, "the curse of the forest, of Brown Wood; the curse of her clan."

I gulp at her words. I slap a hand to my mouth, suddenly queasy. A bitter taste grows as the woman continues.

"I grew up in Essos. My mother was a soothsayer. She could read your future from a look of your palm. I inherited but a fraction of her gift, which is why I cannot help you myself."

"Essos?" Sandor scoffs, "let me guess, you're from Volantis?"

Lorena nods, "I am."

The Hound cackles, throwing his head back as he did.

I feel bile rise up my throat.

Lorena looks disgruntled as Sandor calms and shakes his head. "All right, wench," he grabs her arm, "get out of he--"

I run towards a nearby bush and begin to retch. Sandor immediately releases Lorena and dashes to my side.

Lorena looks at me and mutters something foreign under her breath.

I vomit a good amount before straightening up, weakly leaning into Sandor as he pulls me into his chest. My head is pounding. I hear him repeat my name as he wipes my lips with his sleeve.

"Your monster is fighting back now that it's been recognized," Lorena says with pity.

Sandor enraged, "fuck off! GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!"

She is taken aback, "but I-"

"I'VE HEARD ENOUGH FROM YOUR CUNT MOUTH!"

Lorena flinches and slowly walks back before ultimately running away.

"N-no-" I turn to her, "wa-it!"

Sandor pulls me back, circling around to block me. He clutches my cheeks, lowering himself to examine my face, "are you alright?"

I shake my head in an attempt to push him away. I, in fact, push him, but he doesn't budge, "you scared her off, Sandor! She had more to say-"

"I'd have severed her tongue for it," he quips, placing his hands on my shoulder, pushing me back, "we're going inside."

"But-" but I can only walk in the direction he's dragging me.

Sandor causes as scene when we get inside. He sits me down and starts shouting, "SOMEONE GET FUCKING WATER FOR THE DAMNED LADY OF THE HOUSE, YOU LAZY SHITS."

"Sandor," I whimper, wiping my face as I watch him pace around, demanding attention.

He walks towards me, kneeling by the chair I was sat on. Right on cue, the patter of paws fill the air and three barking pups come running over. Two of them nip at Sandor's clothing, eager for his attention. One of them, Lilac, barks at me, loudly requesting to be picked up.

I huff and chuckle at the creatures, shushing them while picking up Lilac, "don't upset your father more than he already is."

Sandor's heart skips when he hears that. Aye, it was not the first time he's heard it but it doesn't make it any less exciting for him. He looks over his shoulder and eyes the pups, "shut it."

Rose howls and sticks out her tongue.

"Stupid bitch," he grumbles.

I frown, "Sandor."

He clears his throat.

A servant comes with an ewer and a cup. I'm about to say thank you, but Sandor barks out to call Maester Yannick, and so the poor thing scurries off to do just that.

"That's enough," I scowl at him, "I'm fine."

Sandor's face sours, "you fucking vomited-- fine my arse."

"You heard her," I sigh and cuddle with Lilac, "it's the curse reacting to-"

"You're not cursed," Sandor quips.

My eyes water.

A beat passes.

I watch Sandor's expression harden. At the same time, Sage begins his attempt to climb up the chair. Sandor moves his leg around when Rose begins to nip at ends of his trousers.

With a raised brow and an eye roll, Sandor picks both Sage and Rose, handing them over to me.

The reunited siblings begin to silently play with each other on my lap. Their legs kick my arms and chest but I could not care less.

"That cunt bitch was hired by Littlefinger to fuck with you," Sandor stands and peers down at me, "don't you see? She's conveniently from Volantis and can see monster remnants-- HA-- even I can do a better job than that."

I begin to feel my stomach sour again, my face scrunching in return.

Sandor is flooded with concern. At the same time, the puppies begin to jump off me. He hisses, "gods," bending down to prevent the pups from injuring themselves.

The siblings chase each other around the room and sequentially find a toy to play with.

I take a deep breath, which thankfully helps to calm my stomach. I sigh, "I don't think so."

He looks at me.

"I think she sincerely wants to help."

He deflates his lungs. He calls my name again, "you're not-"

"You're forgetting I was there," I mutter, feeling my throat constrict, "someone came here to Brown Wood that day and unleashed this."

His brows knit tightly when I grab his hand. He kneels again when I tug him, bringing his palm to my side

"A monster didn't scar me, Sandor, a man did."

I feel him tighten his grip on my left hip.

My emotions best me.

Sandor doesn't move an inch as I cry into my hands. Something horrendous eats away at him. His hand tenses, but he decides - fuck it - and pulls me towards him. He rubs my waist as I wipe my cheeks.

I bring my arms around his shoulders, calming myself down with the warmth of him. He sighs where I sob. He whispers, "I'm here, sweet wife. No one else will lay a finger on you."

My chest tightens at his words.

Then it dawns on me... I was meant to die that night. The monsters were for my family, and I survived. I'm the reason why this pestilence plagues Brown Wood.

I pull away from Sandor when I realize this.

He recoils with shock.

I stand and run outside, passing maester Yannick, as I make my way to a bush to vomit again.

I lie in bed feeling horrible after having so many people fuss over me. Sandor wound up snarling at the servants waiting outside my door, scaring them off to give me some privacy.

Maester Yannick pats my hand after he finishes examining me, "you're going to be fine. If I'm being blunt, you had quite a dramatic reaction."

I sink into the cushions as I watch the old man gather his things, readying to leave, "of course, some bodies are more naturally dramatic than others," he turns to Sandor, ho was standing by the door, "take your husband for example. He's not got a bone in his body made with dramatics."

I look at Sandor; his face is indignant and his crossed arms make him appear more tense.

"Of course, that can also be worrying," Yannick says as he walks towards him. He pats his shoulder, "our body's reactions are telling of its conditions, and yours it telling you it needs rest."

The Hound eyes him as he exits the room. Maester Yannick shoos the people who've come back to snoop on the situation.

Sandor promptly locks the door. I lean into my pillow and watch him walk over to me.

I feel my throat tighten as he sits down on the other side of the bed. My eyes water a bit as he looks me over. He mumbles incredibly softly, "are you alright, pretty squirrel?"

I clench my jaw and sink into the sheets, "no."

He sighs. He sounds uneasy, "should I get you anything?"

Before I can respond, Sandor snaps.

"Fuck that old cunt. Dramatic or not, you spewed out everything you ate in the bushes. You need something."

I feel my vision blur. I rapidly shake my head and blink away the tears, "I'm tired, s'all."

"You need to eat something."

I reach out to him, "hold me instead?"

Sandor freezes. He proceeds to remove his shoes and gets under the sheets. He lies back and pulls me into him.

I nestle my face into his chest.

He gives out a deep sigh. He slowly speaks my name.

I lift my face and catch the worry on his.

He eyes me and presses his lip together, "you... you don't think this could be..."

I watch him as his gaze wanders, as if looking for the words to say. His hand rubs down my back. He turns to me again, "... you know..."

I knit my brows, "because I was upset about the curse?"

"Mmm-- no-" he sniffles, "because you're... carrying..."

I look at him with confusion but then it slips into realization. I perk and sit up slightly. I shake my head and offer a smile, "ah. Well... it's not improbable."

He looks at me in expectation.

I turn to his shirt, eyeing the fabric with artificial interest. I absentmindedly feel the fabric with my finger, "maester Yannick has his suspensions but he told me not to worry about it."

He shifts to towards me. He rubs my shoulders, but I still do not look up at him. He asks, "are you worried about it?"

"I'm cursed, husband," I mutter. Tears drip onto his top, "of course I'm worried. It's no wonder I cannot keep a child."

His brows tighten. He calls out my name.

I refuse to look at him. A dam of tears threaten to burst if I do.

Sandor runs his fingers down my spine and sighs, "everything I ever touch goes to shit." He grabs my hip and pulls me close.

I turn to him and nestle my face into his chest.

He traps me in his arms, "but you... you turn my shit into gold."

I hold back my tears but the sobs come out anyway. I grip onto his collar for dear life. He tightens his hold on me. We remain like this until I've wet his shirt and forced myself to calm down. He holds me all throughout, the sound of his breathing lulls me.

"There were 5 of them," I mumble against him.

Sandor doesn't say a word.

"They killed every one of our servants, then my father... my poor younger brother and sister," I lick my lips, tasting the salt of my tears, "I only survived because I was not inside that day; my older brothers snuck me out to watch them ride."

I laugh at the memory of them fighting over my approval.

Sandor's heart clenches at the sound.

"Those five men were covered in blood when they found us. They told us what they did to Brown Wood, the curse they set, the lives they took to do it. They told us what they were going to do to my brothers... to me. My eldest brother managed to maim one of them before he was beaten into the ground. My other brother gave his life to put me on his horse," I push myself up and look at him, "one managed to dig his knife into me before the steed bolted away."

Sandor watches as I take his hand. I bite my lip to keep myself from sobbing.

He straightens up and wipes my face with his free palm. He rubs down to my shoulder, "your brother wanted you to live. They all would have wanted you to live a happy life."

I laugh through my sob, "they would not want Brown Wood to be cursed, none of them would."

"But it's not your fault," he speaks tenderly, "you had nothing to do with it."

"They chased after me," I muttered, "the monsters."

A line forms between his brows.

"They chased me and my brother's horse into the woods, and all I did was scream and beg the poor creature to keep running as I clung onto its neck. I lead those monsters into the forest. Those vile creatures are hurting the people here because I was meant to fall with my br-"

"Enough," he grabs my shoulders.

I make a pained sound, "don't you see?!"

He is taken aback when I fight him away, but he does not release me.

"I've cursed you too! You think I've given you gold, when I truth you've been thrown here to die!"

Sandor cups my face.

"I was never meant to have you," I grab his wrists, trying to yank him away, "I was not meant to have anyone."

I eventually give up trying to free myself from his touch. It's not like I actually wanted to be in the first place.

He swallows a thick lump in his throat. "Aye," he furrows his brows, "you were never meant to have me. I was sworn to a bastard king, destined to die for him with nothing else to live for.

"The day King's Landing was attacked from Blackwater Bay, I saw my life flash before my eyes. I saw my end in the flames," he squeezes my arms, "and I saw you... my poor lady wife, my meek and naïve little bride. I knew what they'd do to you, to you, your wench, and your lame dog if I died that night."

My heart hurts, and clenches, and twists at his soft voice. I notice the glint in his eyes, the water waiting to spill.

"Sandor..."

"You say you're my curse," he takes my hands and rubs my knuckles. He looks at me and tightens his grip. He shakes his head, knitting his brows deeply together, "you are my purpose."

My lips quiver. My breathing grows heavy.

"I will not have you harmed, by blade, by claw or curse," he leans forward and scoops me on to his lap. He seals me into a tight embrace, "let me handle this."

I suck in a breath.

"Let me keep you safe."

I sigh slowly and nod my head. I snuggle my face into his neck and mutter softly, "I trust you."

I wake up to an empty bed. I knit my brows at it and look out the window. It seems like I was early in the morning. I scratch my eyes. Or, wait... was it still night?

Gods, I am disoriented.

I reach out to Sandor's side, hand slapping on the vacant cushion, and sigh.

I notice some candles in the room were lit. Maybe he woke up for a wee.

I close my eyes and try to go back to sleep.

I feel sick to my stomach.

I groan.

I peel my heavy eyes open, thinking this was going to be impossible if Sandor doesn't come back soon.

I watch the sky through the window. Long moments later, I hear the door open.

I turn to see Sandor walking in. I sit up when I notice him holding a tray.

He stops in his tracks, "... you're not supposed to be awake yet..."

"You left," I retort.

"I made sure not to make a sound."

"What is that?"

Sandor turns to his tray and walks over, "something to eat when you wake." He heads towards me and places the object down on the bedside table, "it's meant to be cool by the time you did."

I knit my brows as he sits on the edge of the bed. I glance at the bowl of porridge, feeling my heart warm and pinch at his concern. I reach out to him and he sandwiches my hand in both of his, "how are you feeling?"

"Tired," I mutter.

"Hungry?"

"Tired."

"You haven't eaten anything since you emptied your guts."

"I'm not hungry, husband."

"Because you've let your hunger pass," he says sternly, a line forming between his brows.

I press my lips tightly and pull my hand out of his grip. I slowly reach out to his cheek, "may I?"

Sandor hesitates but responds by pressing my palm on his scarred face. He is rigid against my touch. It seems like he won't let up. I release him from his misery by moving my touch to his chest. He immediately relaxes. I mutter, "I'll eat in a little while."

Sandor touches the hand on his chest, "you probably woke up because you're hungry."

I chuckle softly and shake my head, "I woke because you weren't there."

He grunts.

"It's cold," I add.

"I know what can warm you up."

My stomach flips when he leans forward. But then, he reaches out for a spoon and says, "porridge."

I watch as he brings a spoonful of porridge to his lips to blow at it. When he thinks it's cool enough, he brings it towards me.

I have to bite my lips to hold back my laugh but eventually bring myself to eat, for his sake. I lick my lips after and he looks at me expectantly. I smile, "it's delicious. Thank you."

Sandor shakes his head, "it's not delicious. You're just hungry."

He goes for another scoop.

I watch as he blows the spoonful, "did you make it?"

"Nay, the castle ghost did," he brings the spoon to my lips.

I give him a look.

"... I did."

I eat the porridge.

Sandor goes for another scoop but I stop him by grabbing his arm.

We stare at each other for a moment. I shift on the mattress and get on my knees. I push myself up, becoming slightly taller than him as I did. I crawl over.

He watches me, eyes raking up and down my form.

He stiffens when I bring my leg on his lap and take a seat there. I rest my head on his shoulder and wrap my arms around him, "I told you, I'm not hungry."

"..."

"I'm not a little girl that need be spoon-fed."

I hear him put the spoon down. He places his hands on my hips.

"You don't have to treat me this way."

"Foolish wife," he sigh, "you took care of me once."

"..."

He rubs my back.

I slowly pull away and look at him.

He rubs my sides, "more than once. Much more."

My lips part. My brows knit.

"I'm hardened. I have no instinct for tenderness, only instinct to survive," he lowers his head, "you will not survive if you don't eat."

I sigh, expression melting, "oh, puppy. One missed meal will not kill me."

He scowls.

I bite my lip and cling on to the fabric of his top, "I swear to you, I will eat in a little while."

He sighs heavily through his nostrils.

I pout, "can we just go back to sleep for now?"

Sandor takes his time to respond.

"Please, puppy-"

He flinches.

"I'm still so sleepy."

He sighs dramatically, "fine. As you wish, little girl."

I purse my lips, "I'm not a little girl."

"The don't be bratty," he quips, " or I will have you over my knee."

My eyes widen as he pushes me off. He stands and blows out the candles.

I grunt and whine when I wake. My heart was racing, as I've had a terrible nightmare. I was in the corner of a room, the scar on my hip was a wound bleeding out, and I was waiting for whatever was outside to finally come get me.

It eventually entered to do just that, slowly peeling the wooden door open with a horrible creek. A massive, molten creature scratched down the door and steps forward. My heart was in my mouth as it looked at me.

And then it lurched, and I was awake.

I was awake with a heavy weight on top of my chest. I throw whatever it was away from me, only realizing after that it was Sandor's arm.

I sit up with a gasp, and I wait for him to curse at me for rattling him. He doesn't. He doesn't curse. He doesn't wake up.

I sigh with guilt. I fix his arm, rubbing it to make up for what I did. He snores and my eyes crinkle at it.

Oh, to sleep like a hound.

I look at the window and see the sun glistening upon the outside. I turn to my the porridge Sandor had left on the table and smile. I decide to get up and head to the bathroom before eating it.

I freshen up and relieve myself. My face falls when I find red in my skirts. For a moment, I deny it. I stare and touch it, disgusted by the very real wetness that meets my fingers. I sigh and, suddenly feel tears flood my eyes. Disappointment and sadness clogs my chest.

By the time, I change my garments and check the bed for any stains, finding none, I was a sobbing mess.

I sit beside Sandor, heaving as I look at his sleeping form. I take the bowl of porridge and eat it. It was barely warm at this point. I leave not a drop.

I could not keep myself inside the bedroom, because all there was for me here was to cry, and I didn't want to wake my husband.

I take my tray of empty porridge and head to the kitchen. Many of the servants were already awake and working at this point, and each of the ones who greeted me had their smiles faltering at sight of my face.

I rub my tear stained cheeks.

I think I want strawberry pie.

It was pathetic that I wasn't distracted by work, that the tears kept coming as I measured, and mixed, and poured, and picked ingredients to make my favorite dessert. Not the smell nor the taste of this labour, which was meant be done with love, took away from this hopelessness in my belly, the hollowness of it all.

And as concerned as Lucy, as Yannick, as Margaret, as Arron, as Polly, as anyone who saw me was, I told them only that I needed to make this pie, and that they leave me be.

I finished two by the time Sandor woke up.

I look up at him from across the room; he had called out my name. He looked small... and scared from there. I look back down at my bowl and continue to mix the strawberries for the third pie I'm making.

I feel him walk towards me. I feel him come to my side. I do not anticipate whatever he means to do. I grab my pie tin and pour the contents in.

Sandor watches. He watches me place the top layer of dough on my pie and fashion its crust.

He calls my name again. I ignore him in lieu of completing my task.

Just as I finished, Sandor takes the pie and moves it away. He grunts, "enough fucking pie."

Finally, I look up at him. He looks so... fiercely concerned, so distressed and worried. It makes me feel sick.

"What's wrong?" he whispers.

The question... spurs me. What's wrong?

"I don't fucking know," I hiss, through tears.

Everything is wrong.

Sandor is visibly shocked by my response. This may well be the first time he's ever seen me act and speak like this.

"Do not speak to me. I don't want to speak with you," I snap and walk off. My chest hurts as I do so. My legs take me outside to the gardens, in front of Daisy's grave.

I am wrong.

It seems at this point, I no longer have any tears to cry. I sob, but no tears come out. My emotions crumple me down on the soil. I sit there in dismay. The fabric on my knees are stained brown.

I hear paws pattering. Feet are running towards me. Warm fur rubs against me. There are no barks, only wet noses and low whines.

I am irritated at first, but then Sage forces his way into my lap, and suddenly, it's all gone.

I curl my legs together. The daisies on Daisy's grave were plenty now. I find myself talking to her about the three puppies in my arms. I tell her how much she would have loved them. I tell her how sorry I am for bringing her to a place where she wasn't safe.

Lilac spots something behind me and begins to bark. Judging by the wag of her tail, I knew exactly what she saw.

I turn over my shoulder and see Sandor, nervous and hesitant.

I release the puppies from my arms and two trot over to Sandor; Rose stays by my side.

"Shall I leave?" Sandor asks.

I stare at him for a moment, feeling to scared to tell him no, to ask him of anything at this moment, so I just shake my head.

He walks over to me. The pups follow and run back into my lap. Sandor sits on the ground beside me.

We sit there in silence. I feel my husband look at me, examine me, unsure of his next more. He decides to simply pet the pups and be there. I am grateful for it.

"I'm sorry," I eventually mutter, "I was horrid."

"... honestly," he mutters, "it made me think this was probably what I'm like with you."

I look at the daisies in front of me. I look at the gravestone for my dog. I look at my husband, who was stroking Rose's dark fur. I tell him, "you're not like this."

His brow darts up, "aye," he frowns, " 'm far worse."

I shake my head, "... the world has been cruel to you, my love."

Sandor's brows knit tightly, "aye, and to you." His hand moves to mine. My breathing strains when he squeezes it, "I kill people that piss me off... you bake pies."

He looks at the daisies, "I don't know what's upset you, but," he looks back at me, "if you want to bake some more... I can help."

I give him a soft smile. I shake my head and mumble, "enough fucking pies."

He sigh, "I'm sorry I-"

"It's alright. I'm tired."

He sighs again.

"... I suppose it's a good time as any to tell you..."

"..."

I drop my head on his shoulder in defeat, "I'm not with child."

I feel him look down at me.

".. there was blood on my skirt when I woke," I look up at him and press my lips into a line, "I think it's just how... it'll always be... no matter what we do... what I do..."

Sandor's brows furrow. He turns and reaches for my face. When he swipes his thumb on my cheek, my eyes water.

I chew my lip and dryly chuckle, lips quivering as I did so, "do you still want me?"

His expression tightens. He shakes it head, as if he was just struck, and tightens his hold on me, "I've never wanted anything so badly."

"... Sandor... I'm curs-"

"Then I pray I'll be fucking cursed forever."

217 notes · View notes

lutiaslayton · 2 years ago

Text

Did someone ask for more scans? No? Too bad, have more scans.

Emmy's letter to Professor Layton, post-Curious Village. The fabled letter, which can only be accessed properly if you rip open your copy of the Japan-exclusive Azran Legacy Guidebook (more or less).

Years ago, there were photos and a fan-translation floating around on tumblr. Now, I give you the new and high quality version, as well as a full transcript. You're welcome :>

It's been literally eight years since your post, but since your tags say that you wanted to be warned if a better scan were to be made, well... Here you go @puzzilitis x) I'm also tagging @the-azran-legacies, but I'm pretty sure your blog is completely dead since this translation post seems to be its latest sign of activity, and that was ten years ago.

Seriously though, just in case you get to see this -- thank you both so much for what you did all these years ago. Without your posts, I might never even have heard that this letter existed in the first place! Or, well, I likely would have heard of it by now given the fact that I've been documenting every single Layton media I can find -- but I would have lived through an entire decade of ignorance by that point.

The translation below has been done exclusively with DeepL because my free time is limited, sorry for that ^^' If you want another one in order to compare, you have the one linked above, and I will likely make another one later (much later).

みんなのエピソード２１｜レミからの手紙

Everybody's Episode 21: A Letter from Emmy

親愛なるレイトン教授へ Dear Professor Layton,

あれから数か月になりますが、教授、お元気ですか？ It's been a few months since then. Professor, how are you?

一緒に仕事をしている仲間からレイトン教授が遺産相続騒動を解決したという話を耳にして思わず手紙を書いてしまいました。 When I heard from a colleague I work with that you had solved an inheritance dispute, I couldn't resist writing to you.

タージェントから世界を救ったあのレイトン教授が単なる遺産相続のナゾトキの依頼を引き受けるなんて。まさか…と思いましたが、ナゾには目がない教授ですし、きっと知的好奇心を刺激される不思議な出来事だったんでしょうね。 How could the very same Professor Layton who had saved the world from Targent, now accept a mere inheritance puzzle request? I could not believe it… But you always had a penchant for puzzles, so I am certain that it had to be a mysterious event which truly stimulated your intellectual curiosity.

ルークはしっかりと役目を果たせたでしょうか？ Has Luke fulfilled his role well?

実は…私はいま、ワールドタイムズでカメラマンをしています。教授の活躍を教えてくれた仕事仲間って、ボストニアス号で世界を旅したときに出会ったドリスさんなんですよ。 By the way... I am now a photographer for the World Times. The colleague who told me about your activities is Doris. We met her when we were travelling around the world on the Bostonius.

教授のもとを去ってから私がワールドタイムズで働き始めたきっかけは、教授との旅がとても楽しかったから。 I started working for the World Times after I quit my job as your assistant, since I enjoyed the journey with you so much.

世界各地でのいろんな人との出会い、見る者を虜にする美しい景色…。それを世界中の人々に伝えたい、いっしかそんな気持ちになって、自然とワールドタイムズ編集部に足を運んでいました。 Meeting all kinds of people in different parts of the world, finding beautiful and captivating landscapes… I wanted to tell people all over the world about these experiences, and this is how I naturally came to visit the World Times editorial office.

今の仕事は、本当に楽しいです！ I really enjoy my current job!

ムスロッホでリボの滝と鍾乳洞の取材をしていたら、長老のシメジイさんから気になるうわさ話を聞いたんです。 While I was reporting for the Ribo Waterfalls and the limestone caves of Musloch, I heard interesting rumours from the elder, Mr Simejii.

そんな話を聞いたら、調査をするしかありませんよね！ After hearing such a story, I simply could not resist investigating!

村人たちの情報を頼りに鍾乳洞の奥を突き進んでいったら…幻の｢神秘の密林｣を発見しました！ After going deeper into the limestone caves, by relying on the information the villagers gave me… The fabled "Mystical Jungle" has been discovered!

ワールドタイムズの大スクープとして一面に大きく取り上げられたので教授もご存知かもしれませんが、これは私の初スクープなんですよ。 You may have already known of it since it was featured as huge news on the front page of the World Times, but this was my first scoop.

記事には書きませんでしたが、密林の奥には古代遺跡が隠されていました。 We did not mention it in the article, but there were ancient ruins hidden deep in the jungle.

ここにもたくさんのナゾが隠されているはずなので、いつか教授にナゾを解いてもらいたいなぁ。 There must be a lot of puzzles hidden there. I hope you will solve them one day.

もしかして、アスラント文明とは別の考古学史上に残る大発見がある…かも？ Maybe there is another major discovery in the history of archaeology that is unrelated to the Azran civilisation… maybe?

そんなスクープを追いかけて世界中を飛び回る毎日ですが、いま追いかけているのは、スラム街に現れた｢ナゾのマスク男｣です。この話、知的好奇心をくすぐられませんか？ I spend my days travelling around the world, chasing this kind of scoop. What I am chasing now is a "Puzzling Masked Man" who has appeared in the slum quarters. Doesn't this story tickle your intellectual curiosity?

お金持ちから金品を盗み、スラム街の子供たちにお金を与える現代の義賊｢マスク男｣。 The Masked Man is a modern-day righteous bandit who steals money and goods from the rich and gives it to the children in the slums.

最初は、この｢マスク男の正体｣をスクープするためカメラ片手に追いかけていましたが、スラム街の子供たちを見ているうちに、１人の記者としてそこに暮らす人々の現状もじっくりと取材したい、と思うようになりました。 At first, I followed this "Masked Man," camera in hand, in order to get a scoop on his identity. But as I watched the children in the slums, I began to think that, as a reporter, I should rather take the time to cover the current situation of the people living there.

スラム街にはたくさんの孤児がいます。私たちを無垢な笑顔で迎えてくれる子、まったく目を合わせてくれない子など、いろんな表情を見せてくれます。 There are many orphans in the slums. We see many different faces, from those who greet us with innocent smiles to those who don't make eye contact at all.

そんな彼らの姿を見ているうちに、昔のことを、ふと思い出してしまいました。 As I watched them, I suddenly remembered something from the past.

私も子供のころ父を失い、孤児になってしまうところでした。しかし、それを救ってくれたのは、おじさまだったんです。 I lost my father as a child and almost became an orphan. But Uncle Leon saved me from that.

あの頃、父を失った私をおじさまはまるで娘のように育ててくれました。 Back then, I had lost my father, and Uncle Leon brought me up as if I were his daughter.

だから、あの場所でおじさまを裏切るわけにはいかなかった。優しかったおじさまを裏切れなかった…。教授に嘘をついていたことは、申し訳ないと思っています。 So this is why I couldn't betray him in that place. I couldn't betray my kind Uncle Leon... I truly am sorry that I lied to you, Professor.

でも、こういうことがあったからこそ、教授に出会えた。人の運命って不思議ですね。 Still, it was because of these things that I met you. The destiny of people is a curious thing, isnt' it?

あ…、今の私を伝えたいと思ってこの手紙を書いたのに、過去の話になっちゃいましたね。私の話は、また教授に会ったときにお話ししますね。 Ah... I wrote this letter in order to tell you how I am now, but all this is about the past. I will tell you my story when we meet again.

というわけで…今は楽しく仕事をしています！ So, all that to say... I really am enjoying my work now!

そうそう、長かった髪を思い切ってばっさり切りました！ Yes, I also cut off my long hair in a very drastic way!

これまでタージェントの一員として生きてきましたが、いま、ワールドタイムズでカメラマンとして働く普通の女性として歩み出すことができた、そんな気がしています。 I have lived my entire life as a member of Targent. But now, I feel that I have been able to step forward as an ordinary woman, who is now working as a photographer for the World Times.

きっといつか、あなたにまた会える、その日まで。 I am sure that one day, we will meet again. Until that day.

ＰＳ．取材中の写真をドリスさんに撮ってもらいました！あっ、後ろにマスク男が…！ P.S. Doris took photos during the interview! Ah, the Masked Man is in the background...!

Emmy Altava

Important translation note: Emmy calls Bronev "oji-sama," all in hiragana, which makes it unclear whether she is related to him by blood or not (お�� means "uncle," but can also just mean "man who is older than the speaker" (at least from what I know)).

The Eternal Diva novel introduces Emmy as "a beautiful woman of Asian lineage" (and yes, I know, Asia is huge with a lot of different lineages, and I don't know either which corner of Asia is being talked about here), so make of that info what you like. In order to leave it as ambiguous as I could, I replaced all instances of "oji-sama" with "Uncle Leon."

There might be a few other translation changes I made, but I think this was the most important one to take note of.

By the way, I actually scanned the whole guidebook, and I will share it when I can (though don't hold your breath, as you probably know I am currently juggling between way too many projects). The scans aren't ready to be shared yet because they were basically done with me not really caring whether the pages would be perfectly straight, upside down, etc, and as such they need some editing.

(I checked and the resolution of the scans is high enough to make it so that editing doesn't hurt the quality in the slightest. I swear that when the scans are finished editing, you won't even realise it and they'll look just as good as what you're seeing above with Emmy's letter).

The editing also includes linking the pages together for aesthetics purposes. Some pages have artworks that spread over both pages, so I'm doing my best to make it look seamless! Here, have an example for the first double page in the book that really does it:

As you can guess, editing each of the 128 pages in order to get this result is time-consuming, and translating that is going to be a doozy. But let's just appreciate how awesome it will be once it's done, eh? :D

Anyway, next up on the blog is going to be the Eternal Diva novel translation. I'm still working on getting some buffer done, but hopefully the first "chapter" will get out soon! I'd like to post on Saturdays. Let's cross our fingers for tomorrow. Or next week, if today's translation is enough to satiate you all for now!

#professor layton #emmy altava #azran legacy spoilers #azran legacy #professor layton and the azran legacy #professor layton transcript #azran legacy guidebook #emmy's letter #layton preservation

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thegamingcatmom · 4 months ago

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Hi! >:3 This one is for the Dimi sisters, for each of them what do you think they enjoy doing around the castle? Like I imagine they are pretty bored esp in Winter where they can't go outside due to the cold, I imagine Dani and Bela could enjoy reading by the fireplace but there has to be something else to do, right? I don't think Cassandra is a bookworm like her sisters, in fact I doubt that one can be STILL for more than 5 seconds XD I have a few HC of my own like I think Bela likes to read but not romantic stuff like Dani I think she'd be mroe into learning new stuff constantly from the books she reads and I think she is into art so she likes painting in the atelier, or just sketching in a notebook while sitting by the window (I once read a fanfic where Bela learned to cook? And I found it so cute and stuff that she cooked for tehf amily etc that i accepted that HC too). Cassandra would be in the armory sharpening her weapons bc theya re never sharp enough or practicing ehr moves against a dummy, perhaps even getting Dani to play some pranks on the staff (who no one finds funny except for the both of them and getting on Bela's nerves which is a plus I guess :p) Dani... Aside from reading her romantic novels and pranking the staff with Cass I thin she'd be into poetry... she'd try her best ok? (I'm kinda lost with Dani's hobbies tbh XD) What are your own HC for their hobbies? :p Have a good day <3

HI HELLO 🫶

I love your thoughts and I absolutely agree that Cassandra is incapable of focusing on anything for too long. Her record is approx. 10 secs, which is exactly how long it takes her to string someone up, slice their jugular and watch them bleed, lmao.

However, I´d like to think that Momma Alci makes sure to keep her unruly offspring entertained, mainly because it keeps them from bugging her. Momma values her me time. 🛁😌

Besides, there´s always the maids to terrorize. That never gets old. 🤭

Reading

Mostly books that expand her knowledge, like you said. She takes after Momma in that respect. 🤭

Another thing she really likes are mystery thrillers. They have her on the edge of her seat in a way no hunt has managed yet.

She´s not that big into horror though, believe it or not. Probably because she more than gets her fill of that on a daily basis in that castle, lol.

Romance? Please. She has neither the time, nor the patience for such mundane things.

Painting, drawing

She enjoys the calm that comes with it (which is rare in that castle), but she also does it to impress Momma. 🤭

Her favorite things to paint are still lifes. Especially fruit. Especially when it´s rotten. She finds that there´s a certain beauty in the grotesque.

Her favorite things to draw are humans. Or, more specifically, their insides. Organs and bones. Or just certain body parts with the muscles exposed.

Being down in the cellar almost every day truly brought out her artistic side. It´s very...inspiring.

Playing the piano

Again, she does it mostly to impress Momma, seeing how the Lady is quite the talented pianist herself.

Her favorite things to play are dark, tragic pieces that capture the haunting spirit of her existence. Such as Beethoven – Moonlight Sonata 1st Movement.

Music holds immense significance in House Dimitrescu, so it was only natural for Bela to prioritize mastering it as soon as she was capable of forming coherent thoughts.

Stringing them up

Slicing their jugulars

Watching them bleed

...I don´t know what else to tell you, lol.

The middle daughter isn´t particularly picky about how she spends her evenings. She simply does what she does best and, more importantly, what she loves doing. That´s all the fulfillment she needs.

It´s as simple as that with her. I aspire to be like that.

HOWEVER-

I do like the idea of her sharpening and taking care of her weapons because she certainly holds them dear to her dead heart. They´re her babies. :3

HOWEVER-

I don´t really see it as a hobby because it still means "work" for her. She doesn´t cope well with that sort of thing, lol. She´d much prefer spending her precious time on actually using her sickle rather than maintaining it.

HOWEVER-

...She might just let a maid do the work for her. While she watches, ofc. Taunting her. Mocking her. Whispering sweet promises of gruesome death into her ear.

"You missed a spot...right here."

*slices that jugular with her newly sharpened sickle*

🤷🏻‍♀️

Reading

I think that one is pretty obvious. Anything romance is her jam. ;3

More Reading

Because why read your favorite book just once (multiplied by 1354641486418431) when you can dive into the manic endless realms of your own imagination OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND-

-UNTIL THE END OF TIME!!

Flirting/Roleplaying with the maids

The kitchen, the looming corridors, the cellars, the bedchambers - name any place within the castle, and it can almost always be guaranteed that Dani has left her mark - evidenced by blushing and stuttering maids.

Why hot when evil though?? 😭

Furthermore, as a direct result of her extensive reading, many maids have had the one-time opportunity to participate in one of her famously infamous plays, which focus on recreating her favorite scenes from her beloved books.

...Needless to say, that opportunity truly was a one-time affair.

Thanks a lot for your ask! 💋

#tumblr asks #bela dimitrescu #cassandra dimitrescu #daniela dimitrescu #resident evil village #re village #resident evil 8 #re 8

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avocado-writing · 1 year ago

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Hey, so recently my mum and sister have been calling me unlovable and unmarryable (long story, they're not dealing well with the stress of planning my sisters wedding) and even though I think they don't mean it, it's really getting to me. Please may I request Aziraphale comforting reader who is going through this type of thing too? Extra points for smut?

notes: hey anon, what the fuck? i'm your new mum now. fuck that noise, we're not here for it. hope this helps babe.

pairing: aziraphale x reader

rated: M

He can tell when you’re miserable. There will be a little clench of your jaw, a hitch in your voice, and he’ll immediately ask you what’s wrong. And that’s when you’re trying to hide it. Today there is no clever cover-up. Today you are just sad.

Aziraphale finds you staring out the window of his shop at the rainy London street. You look tired. He can see the tears in your eyes that you were clearly trying to hide by facing away, but when they begin to fall fat and heavy down your cheeks there is no pretending otherwise. The angel reaches out to pull you into him, and you grip his coat ever so tightly.

“My dear, what’s the matter?”

“Sorry. Oh god, fuck, this is so stupid. Sorry, I didn’t meant to say ‘fuck’ - ”

“Take a breath, love,” he suggests, and you do, a long, juddering one, but a breath nonetheless. The long swooping motion of his hand caressing your back helps steady you, and eventually you’re able to talk.

“My mum just said something horrible, that’s all.”

“Oh, well. I’m sure whatever she said wasn’t true, my darling.”

“She said I’m not marriageable. I’m not loveable.”

Aziraphale stills. He takes you by the biceps and gently pulls you to arm’s length, giving you a look of utter horror. There’s a long pause, and for a moment you’re worried it’s because you’ve done something wrong, but it’s because he’s trying to work out what to say. What can he say? It’s such a ridiculous thing that’s been told to you, he can’t picture someone telling you such a lie.

“That’s…” he scrambles for something to say, but settles on simply, “not true. That’s not true at all my dear. Anyone would be very glad to be your spouse, I’m certain of it. And as for ‘unloveable’, I’ve never heard a lie more brazen.”

“Oh, come off it, Aziraphale…”

“I’m not joking,” he states, firm. You dare to look up at him through watery eyelashes and find nothing but sincerity. And then his grip on your arms turns to a gentle stroke of his thumbs, and the anger on his face melts to softness, and he whispers, “you are very much loveable, I assure you.”

A spark of something fizzes between you. Something that’s been growing for ages, actually, but neither of you have quite been brave enough to act on it. But finally Aziraphale sees his opening.

He kisses you, and you turn to jelly in his arms; his tongue sweeps across your bottom lip and you open your mouth to allow him access. You cling to him tightly, as if you’re afraid that if you don’t you’ll topple over. When you break for breath, you pull away before he can capture you again.

“Aziraphale, look, you don’t have to – you’re not obligated – “

“I’m not doing this because I feel I owe you something, my darling. I’m doing it because I’ve wanted to for a very long time now.”

You crumble.

He kisses you and kisses you and kisses you, everywhere he can reach, everywhere he has to strip to access, and he lays you down on the sofa in his office - he cannot hold himself off long enough to get to his bedroom - and makes love to you the way you deserve. Where every touch tells you how much he treasures you, each roll of his hips promising he’d never lie about how he feels.

And then, between open-mouthed kisses and gentle nips at your lovely bare skin, a litany of “I love you”s. Because, look at you. Who couldn’t?

taglist: @angiestopit@dazed-soul @@foolishprincipalitee@smile-eywa@staygoldsquatchling02@underratedboogeyman@cool-ontherun-world@emilynissangtr@cool-iguana@this--is--music @ilyatan @lxsm2@clarina04@wtfhasmy-lifecometo@mrgatotortuga@wereallbrokenangels @night-affiliate @silcosmoke@kimqueenofhell@chewbrry @bajablast23 @h3k3t@am-i-obsessed---maybe @bakerstreethound

#i can be nonbinary and a mum fuck gender #aziraphale x reader #michael sheen x reader #request

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fa-by · 9 months ago

Text

I LUV IT

Hi babies and dear Anons 👋🏼, me again 🙃. I posted a new Q&A yesterday, and @camrensrealbish (btw hi, bud 👋🏼😄) asked me in the comments if I could create a post just for I LUV IT's two analyses.

@camrensrealbish: “Hi Faby, I love the interpretation of I LUV IT. I luv it, I luv it, I luv it 👌😅. I think it explains so well that this era is not surface-level at all. That thought through lyricism and symbolism is definitely still here. And how we’re so eager to dismiss hyperpop as stupid and without substance, be it for our convictions about femininity or sexuality, or even caution because of how other people use women’s sexuality. But when done purposefully it just shows how showing someone’s sexuality in this way *can* be empowering and authentic. And I think this is the case here. Can you please post your song commentary in a separate post, please? I would like to share it properly 😘”.

I originally wanted to post the two analyses as I did here now, but I couldn't because Tumblr has limited the possibility of posting more than 30 pics and I don't know why the fuck 😤. So thank you, dear 🤗. You gave me the excuse to be able to do it 😉.

Enjoy 😊.

Hiii to you too, dear Anon 👋🏼😄. I hope you're good too and about your ask, sure 😉.

So. I LUV IT ft. Playboi Carti released on March 27, 2024, is the first single for her fourth LP: C, XOXO. It's a hyperpop/experimental pop song and it samples Lemonade by Gucci Mane and interpolates Cockiness (Love It) by my queen RiRi (Rihanna). The studio recording with Carti was completed on Dec 17, 2023: (Carti's instastory)

Let me tell you something, this song was meant to shock. She pulled a Yes, and? and it worked 😎. For those of you who don't know what I'm referring to by that, I meant that Yes, and? was Ariana Grande's single for her album Eternal Sunshine and it's a diva house/dance-pop song, which was a different and unexpected genre especially then comparing it to the rest of the songs in the album when it was later released. It's a great song, but if it weren't for the concept that connects to two other songs, it would have nothing to do with the rest of the album musically and sonically speaking. It was a calculated idea to make it different from the rest. It's very smart and it's a good strategy for both a comeback and an album. I feel like I LUV IT is exactly the same thing. An impactful comeback was needed and this, together with the platinum blonde and the new era in general, served the purpose. The song was meant to be talked about for better or for worse. And guess what? Mission accomplished 😜.

This song is not for everyone. There are those who loved it right away, those who hated it and still do, and there are those who hated it and then slowly loved it. In reality, most people hated it and then loved it 🤣. I personally didn't hate it but I didn't love it right from the start either, not gonna lie. I just liked it 🤷🏻‍♀️. But after the third listen? Bouncing ass, tongue out, aaaand I luv it, I luv it, I luv it, I luv it, I luv it, I luv it, I luv it 🤣!! This song is definitely a grower! The more you listen to it, the more you become addicted to it 😍.

But anyway. Unlike the video, the lyrics talk about sex. So let's get started. Oh and, of course, I won't include Carti's mumbled Atlanta rap or as his fans say, the Cartinese, simply because he wrote his part.

***Btw, I can no longer listen to Carti’s “Oh, you on the road now? - Oh, you grown now? - Oh, you too grown now” without bursting out laughing 🤦🏻‍♀️🤣. I can't help but hear Nas' imitation of Carti's voice in the HE KNOWS music video🤣🤣🤣. For me, those three sentences have now become just one repeated X3: “Oh, you on the floor now” 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣***

Oh oh oh, last thing before starting. If you're a prude, LEAVE NOW. Skip the whole lyric analysis and go straight to the music video analysis. The song is about sex like I just said and I therefore won't hold back from explaining certain things, okay? I warned you 🙋🏻‍♀️. I don't wanna see complaints in the comments as happened years ago. Thank you.

Song

Verse 1:

“Supersonic, in your orbit”

So, supersonic. One word from which two derive: super and sonic. Super: above the rest, better than the rest. Sonic: derived from the Latin ‘sonus’ which means sound. Super-sound. Basically a loud noise, a sound/sonic boom that (the actual meaning of supersonic:) breaks the acoustic barrier by traveling at a speed faster than the one of sound. A flight can be supersonic. As well as a missile and even a gun bullet.

An orbit is an ever-changing path one object in space takes around another. An unscientific example? A dog with its favorite toy often orbits their owner insistently because they want to play with them. Speaking from personal experience here 🤣.

***Oh and, lil fun fact. In prostitution specifically, orbit was, and perhaps still is, a code word for oral sex***

Ultimately, “Supersonic, in your orbit” means that Mila is this supersonic boom, this let's even say supersonic shock that orbits around her prey. As I've said many other times in my analysis, Mila likes to use wordplay in her songs and this is basically her artistic way of explaining sexual provocation. She's provoking her target.

“And I’m bad, diabolic”

It's giving intense energy and mischief out of the ordinary 😜. She knows she's good at it (provocation). She has a goal (to sleep with her) and succeeds because we have the aftermath of her intent in the next sentence.

“Bottle rocket, on the carpet”

Her favorite lyrics because many people didn't grasp the meaning 🤣. Definition of bottle rocket: a firework typically consisting of a cylindrical case that is partly filled with combustible material and fastened to a guiding stick which may be placed in a bottle to control the direction of the rocket's launch.

In this case, in sex, bottle rocket is the representation of cuming hard in an explosive way.

Rockets have a phallic shape, so the first thing that's assumed here is that it's the sperm that's on the carpet, also because the song acts as straight 🙄, but where's the deception? Even girls can give someone a bottle rocket. How? By being an explosion and not a normal female cum orgasm, with female ejaculation also known as squirting.

Ergo, she's talking about herself. This song is not about sex with a guy and I can even prove that with the next sentence.

“Threw it back and he caught it”

Round two, doggy-style position. Movements: “Threw it back” her ass “and she caught it” with the hands by placing it directly back on the face aka mouth-tongue (clue about the lil fun fact I mentioned earlier) or by directing the entrance of the cave of wonders on the dildo (since Camren loves toys so much 😜🤣🤭). But, given the “he” because, again, the song acts as straight 🙄, the meaning should make you think of the guiding on the dick. But no. As I said before, I can prove it.

When guys cum, it literally takes them a while before they can go again. Some need 10/15 minutes, others hours or directly the next day because they literally physically can't. It's rare anyway that they manage to go beyond the second round (unless they're in the midst of adolescence and are like 14/15 years old 🤣), and those who miraculously can make it, also last very little and their cum is also very little. And mind you, I'm not saying these things to belittle men. I'm not making anything up. It's the pure truth. Not only have I experienced it myself (cause yes, hi 👋🏼, I've been with my gf for 3 years but I'm bisexual and I've had relationships before her), but these are facts that you can even look up if you don't believe me.

It's obviously not the same for all guys and they're all different, but us girls literally need 5 seconds or nothing at all to recover, and we don't have limits like they do. Unlike males, we females can have multiple orgasms. Sexual arousal and orgasm are possible again right away. So no. It's impossible she was talking about a guy.

If she was really talking about a guy, it's impossible that immediately after his Bottle rocket, on the carpet (yet another proof that Mila was talking about her cuming, her squirting) he didn't need some enough available time for round two (Threw it back and he caught it). Let’s move on 💪🏼.

“I go soprano, baby, go down low”

Soprano in music is the highest note, so in this case, going soprano means she's screaming with pleasure. And in her euphoric state, she guides her partner back down there into her buried treasure.

“And when he leads, I gotta follow”

The movements. Like in dance. In partner dancing, there are those who lead and those who follow. They're designed roles to facilitate the movements. The one who leads manages the body of the one who follows and decides the dance steps and direction of travel from time to time.

The thing that makes me laugh about this part is the “when he leads”. “When” 🤣🤣🤣. Because she's the top and she's the one who leads most of the time because Laur's the bottom (even though they're both also switch) so when Lo leads, when, sometimes, occasionally, I gotta follow 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣. Oh Mila 🤦🏻‍♀️🙈🤣.

“I’m blackin’ out, I’m on a spiral”

She feels out of control (spiral) because the ending is so beautiful that it almost makes her lose consciousness (blackin’ out).

“I need you now and tomorrow”

And forever.

I’d also like to add a deeper meaning of sex to I’m blackin’ out, I’m on a spiral – I need you now and tomorrow. Although she said the song is about sex, she also said:

“Part of that cocktail is also the emotional drama between you and that person, and the chaos and butterflies and nerves and passion. It’s unsustainable and not peaceful and exhausting, but also, I LUV IT.” – “Now I feel kind of lonely and small and weird, but at the same time, I’m an adult and I feel so strong in other areas of my life, but not this one. There’s just the wrestling of those feelings without it being kind of neat or in a box. You can’t really say that it’s a sad song, you can’t really pin it down. It’s just kind of me wrestling with these feelings and me kind of being really present on a particular feeling and exploring it. I feel like a lot of songs on the album are that”.

So going deeper, “I’m blackin’ out, I’m on a spiral” indicate her anxiety. Being on a spiral or simply spiraling, is an emotional state that rapidly worsens in a way that becomes increasingly difficult to control and often leads to short-term periods of anxiety or depression. Aka her OCD gets triggered. Which by the way, I remind you that for her leads to obsessions and repetitive thoughts. And in a certain way, we can also see it in the repetition of the same phrase in the chorus.

So here she's saying: 1) I’m blackin’ out, aka I'm going crazy, I'm freaking out (connection/thing that reminds me a lot of “Am I out of my head? Am I out of my mind?” Bad Things [analysis here (eleventh ask)]) 2) I’m on a spiral, aka I'm anxious, distressed, worried, fearful. Why? Because I don't wanna lose you aka 3): I need you now and tomorrow. This alludes to the desire for connection and intimacy that goes beyond sex.

Both meanings (sexual and deeper) however indicate the intensity of her uncontrollable and erratic emotions towards as she said “that person” Lauren. But she doesn't care. “It’s unsustainable and not peaceful and exhausting, but also, I…?” She…? She what? Sing it all together🎤🎵🎶👇🏼👇🏼👇🏼:

Chorus:

“I luv it, I luv it, I luv it, I luv it

I luv it, I luv it, I luv it

I luv it, I luv it, I luv it, I luv it

I luv it, I luv it, I luv it

I luv it, I luv it, I luv it, I luv it

I luv it, I luv it, ooh

I luv it, I luv it, I luv it, I luv it

I luv it, I luv it, I luv it”

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7…...

27. 27……

27 times, huh? 😜 What a wonderful coincidence! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 of all the numbers, precisely the 27. Would you look at that 🤣🤣.

No seriously tho. The words have to fit and respect the tempo of the song, but coincidence or not it's still funny for me 🤭.

Post-Chorus 1:

“Lemons on the chain with the V-cuts (X2)

Lemons in their face, watch ’em freeze up (x2)”

This part was sampled from the song Lemonade by Gucci Mane. Lemons are basically yellow diamonds (known as Canary Diamonds) cut/engraved in the shape of the letter V (an expensive method of cutting diamonds).

The meaning behind that would be that people would “freeze up” in shock at seeing this display of wealth and success, these lemons/diamonds, “in their face”s. They're oh so surprised and intimidated that they even freeze up for this luxury lifestyle thrown in their faces.

Umm………. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Do we really care? Of that? Okay 🤣. About something she didn't even write? Something that she literally took copied and pasted into the song? Pfft, okay. Can we move on? Thank you 🤣.

Verse 2:

“Super twisted, sick addicted”

Twisted: someone who's mentally or emotionally unhealthy or disturbed: sick. --> Sick addicted: someone who's unable to stop doing something as a habit. Ergo, she's saying that she likes/enjoys it a lot and wants to spend as much time as possible doing what they're doing: sex.

Nonsexual meaning: She's using strong words to describe not only herself but also what their relationship is like. They may be twisted, and addicted, and toxic, and all the other things we've seen in their songs, but no matter what, she/they LUV IT, cause they luuuv each other.

“Kiss me hard, someday you’ll miss this”

A dig for all those times they break up or take breaks.

“Meteor shower, in your power”

What's a meteor shower?

The meteor shower is nothing other than what we commonly call shooting stars. These are obviously not stars, but meteors. Meteors are the aftermath of asteroids and comets that ORBITATED the SUN.

Asteroids (celestial bodies composed of rocky bodies) and comets (celestial bodies composed of frozen gases) become meteoroids when they fragment. In turn, meteoroids ignite and disintegrate when they enter our solar system, becoming meteors, ergo shooting stars. Those that don't disintegrate and manage to touch the earth's ground instead become meteorites.

How does a meteor shower happen?

The meteor shower happens when the earth, in its ORBIT around the SUN, crosses an area in which fragments of rock and dust (meteoroids) lost from a comet or an asteroid (celestial bodies made of rock, dust, and ice coming from the outermost areas of the solar system) are concentrated. When an asteroid and a comet heat up as they pass close to the sun, they reach such temperatures that they fragment even more (meteoroids) and when these very tiny fragments enter our atmosphere, they ignite and burn due to friction by generally developing tails, luminous trails (shooting stars) until they vaporize or leave debris (meteorites) behind.

Lil fun fact: some meteorites found on earth come from the MOON 🤭🤣. Most come from destroyed comets and asteroids, but some come from Mars or the moon.

So, after this compelling little science lesson, I can explain what Mila means by “Meteor shower, in your power”.

It's very simple actually. A meteor shower is a celestial event. She's comparing their sex to this astronomical phenomenon, the “Meteor shower”. The “in your power” is due to the fact that Lo’s the one who’s leading as we saw in “And when he leads, I gotta follow” in the first verse.

“Seein’ stars, oh my God”

The retina sends light signals to the brain by making sparks, stars, or flashes of light appear in the visual field. When does this happen? It usually has to do with the head. You've made a movement too fast, like standing up suddenly, or you've been hit on the head, or you're about to lose consciousness, etc. These are all negative aspects, but we're talking about something positive here. Sex.

This amazing sex (Meteor shower), this second round (Threw it back and she caught it), brings her to another orgasm (maybe even another Bottle rocket 🤷🏻‍♀️😏) during which she feels so bewildered, so dizzy, and she experiences this very surreal feeling that overwhelmed her by even Seein’ stars during it. Seein’ stars: to climax, to achieve orgasm.

This can very well be connected with ““I’m blackin’ out, I’m on a spiral” She feels out of control (spiral) because the ending is so beautiful that it almost makes her lose consciousness (blackin’ out)” that I explained earlier.

Oh and, the “oh my God” was her, um 🤣, comment, to express that ending if it wasn't already obvious enough 🤣.

Bridge:

“Slow down, baby”

All of Playboi Carti's “Uh, uh, uh, uh” before Mila's “Slow down, baby”, at least to me, indicate the thrust of the act. Again, he “sings” them to prove the song is straight 🙄, but we know the truth. Anyway. The “Slow down, baby” means exactly that. Either Mila's settling down from the end of round two and needs a tiny bit more time to go as fast as they were going before, or she simply wants this third round to go at a slower pace than the previous one, or better yet, Slow down, baby like in ‘stop, it's my turn now’ (to lead).

Another proof that this doesn't talk about sex with a guy. As I said before, it's rare for guys to get beyond 2 rounds, so let alone a third one 🤣. Sorry, not sorry, but it's literally the truth 🤣.

And that's it. I luv the fact that Camila's lyrics in this song talk about sex but she uses words that still perfectly capture the magnetic attraction between the two of them. I luv how she's quite unapologetic about it. And I LUUUV how she also used these cosmic references in general, but above all, how they anyway hide in a certain way the two important celestial bodies in our sky and solar system: their representation, aka the moon and the sun.

Now let's move on to the music video where everything that could go wrong happens 👍🏼🤣. What is she trying to convey here? Let's find out.

Music video

Opening scene. A Robin Hood wannabe who takes coins from his pocket.

Three empty stationary police cars in a driveway while an aspiring lumberjack cop is, for what initially appears to be, cutting down a tree to prepare for winter.

KhaleesiMila enters the scene 5 seconds before she starts singing. She looks like she just came back home from the night before given her outfit and her slightly messy hair. But not her makeup. The makeup is perfect of course because it's still a music video 😉.

She enters the kitchen with a chocolate cake in one hand while with the other she nonchalantly tosses her heels in a spot where it's very usual for us girls to leave them 🤣: at the doorway or in the bedroom on the kitchen counter.

She starts singing and eating a piece of chocolate cake at the same time.

At the same moment as the first bite of the cake, we have a really well-done perfect transition of her spitting her mouthguard out in a somewhat snobbish but challenging and provocative way because she's ready to fight against a professional female wrestler.

Soon after we have a 3-second split shot of her chewing the cake in the kitchen again and her and Carti in the gas station, before cutting to a long one where we have the reappearance of the archer from the opening scene.

From this moment on, all the small shots, the little introductions that we initially had, are explained a little bit more extensively with longer scenes and shots. Still messy 🤣, but longer.

Hospital part 1

Now that we see the surroundings, we notice how Legolas wannabe is in the corridor of a hospital and that the coins he took from his pocket in the opening scene, he needed them to get something like a chocolate bar from the vending machine. After taking it, he walks back to a white-dressed Mila who's sitting with an arrow in her heart.

A flash passed before my eyes and for a moment I was back in 2019. Why? Liar. The cover art picture of the song portrays her as an angel with wings.

Camila explained that Cupid strikes her with his bow to make her fall from heaven and unmask her, by making her not so angelic anymore because she's actually a liar who's hiding something, that is a secret [hmm, I wonder which one 😏😎🤫🤐🤣]. This whole story created for the song inspired the visual for the entire album Romance (whole album inspired by the surrealism of a museum of love stories in heaven).

So I asked myself, what is this? A connection to Romance but direct to Liar? No. I'd say more that she paid homage to it since even though the lyrics are about sex, the ideology of the video is about their toxic relationship and how she knows it's toxic but she LUVs IT anyway.

Anyhow, I guess that at the arrow in the heart scene, you all thought that the Green Arrow wannabe was Cupid. Same thing here, mostly because of the connection with Liar. I initially thought: “Oooh, it's Cupid! Cupid shot her with his arrow, ergo she's in love. But she's lovesick, and because of this the hospital: love - sick”. Then I saw the whole scene (plus the ending which I'll explain, well, at the end 🤣) and I realized: “Nope. Not Cupid. Not Cupid at all. Hi, Lauren 👋🏼”.

***Let's be clear. This is a music video. A creative and imaginative way of portraying objects, people, and scenarios in general. Yes, it's Camila's POV, but Lauren isn't that bitchy and dickish in real life. Okay? Every artist does it. It's art. Literally, as the word implies.***

So, back to the scene. Rewind. Lauren Hawkeye wannabe takes the candy bar from the vending machine and goes back to Mila. *This is the point where I got to before.* He doesn't even look at her. He just sits. Contrary to her who follows him with her gaze as he sits down and she also turns her head to look at him one more time before looking straight ahead.

That chocolate bar or whatever the fuck it is, it's not even for her. He took it for himself without even having the thought of taking it for her or taking something for her as well. I mean he's like, he's there for her. He went with her and he accompanied her also because he hit her with an arrow. Like yeah, we know that. We can see that. But even though he's there for her, he at the same time doesn't acknowledge or address her at all. He's just there. Present and not. Waiting for her turn.

While she, even smiles with her mouth closed as he's returning to her, but it's a smile I'd say forced. A kind of smile that masks how uncomfortable she feels. It's a wan smile that shows no energy or enthusiasm. It's a stoical ‘grin-and-bear-it because you're used to it after all’ kind of expression. That smile alone makes you understand how ‘normal’ this situation is for her. She's so used to it that it's a standard routine for her. It doesn't come as a surprise.

In a situation like this one, in a hospital, with an arrow in the chest/heart, anger or pain or both reactions are what you expect to be shown by her. But no. She's just there. Waiting for her turn.

Meaning behind this? The arrow in the heart represents a metaphorical way to express the idea that love can be both powerful and overwhelming, capable of causing joy and pain in equal measure. In this case however, the arrow in the heart doesn't represent a tender sweet and romantic symbol of Cupid and Valentine's Day. It represents a heart-piercing emotional pain. In this case, that arrow is nothing more than a heart-stopping arrow through the heart.

Fight & Dogs

In the next scene we have the professional female wrestler again. Like when she spat her mouthguard out in the opening brief shot, Mila continues to have this defiant attitude *she’s so hot there btw 🤤🥵*.

She shows herself as very self-confident with this superior aura and this cockiness that gives off an ‘I can kick your ass’ vibe. All of this flies out the window the moment the wrestler makes her move against her and Mila shits in her pants and starts running away 🤣.

At the same time that she starts running, we have another perfect transition of a running dog.

Then we have another very brief shot of her continuing to eat the cake in the kitchen, before alternating the fight with the wrestler and not just one dog running randomly, but her being chased by no less than three dogs 🤣.

These two scenes are connected on the part of running for your life. Literally as far as the dogs are concerned 🤣. And speaking of the dogs, the scene represents the danger and risks of being in love with someone. It represents all the feelings of chaos that go along with it. It represents feeling afraid and helpless with a constant internal battle of anxiety and fear. Being chased by dogs is stressful, scary, and unpleasant, BUT, it's even adrenaline-pumping and the depiction of it, is basically like an excited nightmare that represents not knowing where things are leading. Running into the unknown. She's scared but she does it anyway because the journey is electrifying.

Going back and talking about the scene with the wrestler, the running scared to avoid the actual physical fight is the representation of avoiding the confrontation. And that's something we know Mila does thanks to both her and Lauren. We also know this because in 2016 she herself said that she avoids conflicts with people. It's a vice/bad habit that she's always had.

BUT, no matter how much she tries to run away and avoid this confrontation, it always happens. Sooner or later, she eventually always finds herself having to face the problem unwillingly or not. The representation of this in the video is when she's captured. We actually see this section almost at the end of the video after Carti’s “🎵tursin-eh-oh-and-halloh-eh-halloh-eh-halloh-I'm out o-controool🎵” 🤣🤣🤣. We see the wrestler chasing and catching Mila, which leads to the headlock wrestling move.

Now let's talk about this section with the headlock that we see both at the end and currently in the first chorus of the part of the video where we are. Specifically this one here. We see several headlocks in sequence, but the one I want to focus on is the second one, where the wrestler is enacting the chokehold with only one arm.

Like, umm… 🤭 The way you caress her arm and look at her, and the way you sing “I luv it” with your tongue sticking out in that seductive way 🔥.

I mean... Mila, honey…😏 I see you! 🤣

No wonder in the BTS of the video she said: “I've been the most excited for this scene all day”. Hmm 🤔, I wonder why is that 🤣🤣🤣. Just as I'm not surprised by the other clue she gave in the interview with Bru On The Radio when talking about the scene: “It's like a little homoerotic. It's cool! But um- * she bursts out laughing by looking to the side* -yeah”.

Homoerotic: 1) (especially of art, literature, drama, or the like) using symbolism, allusions, situations, etc., that invoke sexual attraction or activity between people of the same gender. Example: There's definitely some homoerotic subtext in that book. 2) having sexual attraction to people of one's own sex or gender, especially when that attraction is repressed. Example: To say a man has a “streak of lavender” means that he has homoerotic desires. 3) relating or involving sexual activity between people of the same sex. Specifically: marked by, revealing, or portraying sexual desire between people of the same sex.

I have nothing else to add, Your Honor. I have nothing else to add 😎🤣.

No but seriously now. She doesn't act that way during the other headlocks. In those, she tries to fight back and somehow defend herself by trying to free herself. We see her react in a rather normal way to that type of situation. But in that particular hold? Nope 🤣. We can see how much she likes it. How attracted and aroused she is. The reactions she has during the other headlocks represent her external side, what really happens and what she lets see. While in that particular one, we see the toxicity of what happens in her inner part. The “I luv it” to the choking which on a larger scale, represents her toxicity in loving the pain. Even though they're fighting and she hates the confrontation and is in pain, she LUVs IT anyway because she luvs HER.

***Mind you that this is only an additional representation and seen in a more generic way. I don't see it as fitting to the theme of the music video as much as the one I've already explained to you now.*** A broader meaning could also be the representation of how the love for Lauren is so strong that she can't fight it. We've seen this other times in the lyrics of songs like This Love [analysis here (the penultimate ask)] and Señorita [analysis here (the last ask)] where Mila was having an inner struggle because, on the one hand, she wanted to protect her feelings, and on the other, she couldn't resist her. Ergo, the scene where she tries to fight this love, the professional wrestler, but she loses and thus is ultimately defeated.

House

Next scene we have her continuing to eat the chocolate cake plus this guy who comes in and rides around her house on his motorcycle and she does nothing.

Let's dwell for a moment on her eating.

Where have we seen something like this before (besides the reality of everyday life)? In every damn movie and TV show since forever 🤣. Someone is sad for some X reason like they had a fight with someone, or they're going through a breakup, and what do they do? They eat either something chocolate or ice cream. 90% of the time it's something chocolate related. Why? Because when consumed, it releases endorphins in the brain that produce a mild feeling of euphoria by mimicking the feeling of being in love. This is why chocolate is called the love drug. It gives comfort and joy and when we're down, we emotionally crave chocolate because we're unsatisfied with something.

Her eating chocolate cake in this case is an indication of unsatisfied desires and emotional needs.

Now let's go back to the guy with the motorcycle. He's destroying everything in his path and she's simply there, munching on her cake unbothered.

He's causing a mess but she doesn't even try to stop him. She doesn't get angry, she doesn't scream, nothing. And why? Because as I said before by talking about that type of smile in the hospital, this situation is ‘normal’ for her. She doesn't react simply because she's used to it. The chaos of their relationship doesn't surprise her also because, I mean, it's been years and years.

The house depicts her head and what happens in it. Him destroying the house is a representation of how she sees his bringing chaos into her life and their relationship. On a deeper level, her not reacting to the destruction of the house represents the fact that she's so in love that she ignores bad and toxic behaviors. The whole scene represents the toxicity and destruction that a relationship can bring into your life but you keep trying because you LUV IT. Lauren brings love, happiness, passion, euphoria, but she also brings chaos which also encompasses mess, confusion, disarray, whether all good or bad. We also saw this type of example in the lyrics of Consequences [analysis here (penultimate ask)].

Successively we have a mix of scenes, among which are the cop one of the opening scene, the car one, and the bathroom one.

Palm tree

We can finally see that this aspiring lumberjack cop is chopping this palm tree because Camila is on top of it.

Now, I have two interpretations for this. The palm tree represents Lauren/their toxic love in both interpretations.

N° 1, she's stuck on the tree. Being stuck represents her way of saying that there's no way out of their toxic relationship even though someone (represented by the cop) or more than someone (since there are 3 police cars even though we only see one cop) tries to get her out of this situation.

N° 2, the one I see as the most truthful, the most right one. She's not stuck on the tree. Mila is Walzing it 🤣🤣🤣 (for those who don't know, Dinah used to call Mila ‘Walz’ and here you can find the reason why the nickname was born). Her koalaing the tree also represents her co-dependence. She's clinging to it and doesn't want to let go.

She's on the very high point of the tree; visual meaning: danger. If she were to fall, she would die or be seriously injured. But she doesn't care. She's ready to risk her life. Deeper for the representation: her love is so strong, that she's ready to risk it (“I'll risk it all”, as we've already seen in Used to This [part of the interpretation that you can find in the analysis of Only Told the Moon here]). She's ready to risk everything/risk it all even if she were to lose her heart and if it were to affect even her mental and physical health as we've already seen in the lyrics of Consequences.

Even in this case, the cop represents someone or more than someone in her life who tries to get her out of this situation. They use extreme ways to do this, representative of getting her down: cutting down the tree. Why? Why doesn't this cop who clearly knows that this person is experiencing some kind of problem call the fire truck to bring a ladder to save her since that's what's normally done in these situations? Or he doesn't go directly and find one himself? Why doesn't he talk to her and try to reason with her to get her down?

Because it's not the first time this has happened. The cop (her family, her friends) is so used to and tired of seeing their on-again, off-again/cycle/loop/circle, that he decides to help her in a more brutal way in this case. Representation: chopping down the tree. It doesn't matter tho. It doesn't matter that other people try to help her in hard ways. She doesn't wanna lose her, and therefore she depicts how even though she knows it's a toxic relationship, she's clinging (codependent) to it and continues to love her because she doesn't want to depart/separate herself no matter what. Reason why we even see her singing “I luv it” while she’s glued to the tree.

Car

Speaking of falling (and how these two scenes are connected). Instead of that tree, here we see her having fallen over a car. Part of the car is destroyed, as is she. It's a representation of being in love and how it can sometimes destroy you. But again, we even see her singing “I luv it” because she doesn't care.

She doesn't care about falling and being crushed by/for her. They've taken a lot of risks over the years. They've suffered, they've hurt each other, and they've fallen down and gotten up every single time. And those wounds, in the video are represented as real wounds with cuts, bruises, gashes, and all that jazz.

She doesn't even care when we, the public and the fans, see her destroyed like that. We've seen it many times, especially after years and years spent growing up in the public eye. By this, I'm obviously referring to the woman who's immortalizing the scene with her phone.

Although that, it's also a representation of what would actually happen in today's world: instead of helping or calling an ambulance, the woman is filming or taking pics.

Bathroom & Bedroom

Contrary to the connection that the tree and the car scenes have, this one is connected to the ones of the dogs and the professional female wrestler.

We first see her in the bathroom. She looks in the mirror and even lifts her shirt up to look at her belly. Let's say normal things that we all do, and so far, nothing strange. Then we also see her perplexed and undecided tho (when she sighs with her finger in her mouth). And we see her rehearsing. We see her change her expression to a determined one and make the gun gesture with the fingers of her hand.

***Sorry but I have to tell you guys 🤣🤣🤣. I found it extremely funny how she made the gun gesture with her fingers precisely at “someday you’ll miss this”. THIS and bam: fingers out 😏😎🤣.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry 🤣🤣 one day she'll miss, what, Mila? Your gay fingers?🤣🤣🤣 Oooooookay 😉🤣***

Back to normal. All that represents her mentally preparing herself, and for what? For what we then see in the bedroom. Before heading there, we can see her expression of determination but more importantly, we can see her pissed-off expression.

She walks into the bedroom with this imaginary automatic machine gun that she uses to shoot and destroy the bed. As she does that, the footage also shows us the rest of the room, and what do I spy with my little eye 🧐? A frame hanging on the wall. And what's in that frame? Five boys with the word ‘sorry’ written on their backs.

Wait a second, wait a second… FIVE???? 😲 Five as a reference to Fifth Harmony? 😱 Five as in 5H because it's a hidden clue to confirm that she's talking about Lauren? 🤯 WHAAAAAT??? 😵

Yes, guys, yes. For those who haven't noticed, the answer is yes. Camila doesn't do things shittily. There's always meaning in the things she does, whether it's hidden or not. And if anyone tries to tell you otherwise or something different about that clue, don't be fooled. Why 5? Explain the 5 otherwise? They could've used a thousand different things like, for example, an apology/sorry note left on the bedside table, or even just one guy with sorry on his back in that frame since all of this is supposed to be straight and about a guy 🙄. But no. They used FIVE of them specifically.

Moving on.

The rehearsals she was doing in the bathroom that we later saw lead to the destruction of the bed with the imaginary automatic machine gun, were all due to Mila being pissed off about something Laur had done. Something we know thanks to the not-so-hidden apology message in the frame. Now I don't know about you 🎤🎶but I'm feeling 22 🎶🎤 sorry but I had to 🤣 but I know that even though Camila is magical, she doesn't really have powers 🤣. So even though this is the representation of her being pissed at Lo, she didn't actually shoot the bed. It was all in her head. She was just imagining doing it. Yeah, she was angry, but we also know that she'd run away in reality to try to avoid conflicts as we saw in the scene with the dogs and in the scene with the wrestler (aka Laur herself), during which, however, we also saw that the wrestler captures her and that therefore Mila was then forced to face.

Hospital part 2

During the mix of these three scenes (Palm Tree - Car - Bathroom & Bedroom) just discussed, we have two small shots of Mila in the hospital. The first during “oh my God” and the second during “I luv it”.

We see her looking in one direction before saying “oh my God”. It's an exasperated “oh my God” because no one's assisting her yet.

She sings “I luv it” by tapping her finger to her temple in rhythm but we can see how impatient she's starting to get for the wait. Yeah, she luvs it, she luvs it, she luvs it, she luvs it, she luvs it, she luvs it, she luvs it, but she's irritated and frustrated.

Gas station

Mila and her friends pull over into this gas station. A guy with long hair immediately approaches to serve them, but instead of refueling the car as we normally expected, he does it to them. He takes the pump and fills their glasses with gasoline, even though we know very well that it was actually nothing more than “some disgusting water-down apple juice”, according to Mila herself.

All this during “Lemons on the chain with the V-cuts (X4) - Lemons in their face, watch ’em freeze up (x4)” Oh well, when life gives you lemons, make lemonade Camila Cabello drinks gasoline 🤣.

Sorry, sorry 🤣. Joking aside now.

Drinking alcohol produces euphoria. It's stimulating, exciting, and lowers inhibitions and control. It's intoxicating, and although this word usually indicates something positive, it can also represent something negative especially when associated with alcohol. Drinking alcohol is intoxicating in a good way, but if done too much, it's intoxicating in a harmful way. In this case, alcohol is the representation of another hyperbolic metaphor. It's yet another concept represented in an exaggerated way. Gasoline, fuel, or whatever the hell it was, is obviously toxic. Ingesting it is dangerous. It's yet another representation of their toxic relationship and tendencies and how she doesn't care going against all common sense because she LUVs IT.

There would also be another possible meaning behind this scene due to Playboi Carti's verse. He talks about drugs (Novocaine and Mary Jane), luxury cars (Lamborghini Aventador SVJ), and rebellious life in general.

Novocaine is a drug used as a local anesthetic normally by dentists. Mary Jane is the literal English translation of the name Marijuana. Spanish: Maria/Mari. English translation: Mary. Spanish: Juana. English translation: Jane. Ergo, Marijuana: Mary Jane. In the past when drug users talked about marijuana, they called it Mary Jane so as not to arouse police suspicion.

I explained all this because specifically his talk about drugs made me think of a different possible meaning behind this scene. You see in the US, many drug dealers operate out of gas stations. Mila and her friends are getting gas at the gas station. In slang, ‘gas’ is a noun made popular by rappers to refer to weed/marijuana.

It might be that the scene has both meanings. Alcohol for her and drugs for him. Who knows 🤷🏻‍♀️. Maybe we would've seen it for real if Carti hadn't arrived late for the video shoot. But anyway.

Right after that, we have the dance scene. I have two interpretations for that even here. Both true.

The first one: Don't expect me to say sweet and predictable things like that she's dancing hypnotized because she's drunk on love 🤣. Nope. The blindfold is supposed to represent how blinded she is by love and shit, right? The typical phrase ‘love is blind’ that makes someone unable to see the flaws of the person they love. True, but at the same time in her case, bullshit tho. Buuuullshit! Because we saw throughout the video how she's aware of everything.

She chose to put the blindfold on and dance freely whether it's just for fun or distraction or to literally dance the pain away. She chose to put it on to ‘not see’ the flaws, the toxicity, and all the negative things. She knows. She knows they're there. It's just her choice to ignore them because, once again, she doesn't care because she luvs it and her.

The second one: Based on the getting gas in the previous shot, whether it's just alcohol or whether it's also marijuana, that's why right after that scene we see Carti with his hoodie backwards (it's literally backwards, look closely) before he starts singing and Mila and the girls dancing together blindfolded with X’s over their eyes.

It represents the beginning of the effect. 😵: literally the dizziness of drunkenness and/or stonedness. In a deeper way, it represents love being a drug/addiction to live to the fullest (dancing).

Again whether it's just alcohol or weed, that's also the reason why at the end of the video they're both comfortable and relaxed in eating calmly as if they don't have a care in the world (despite the video being completely the opposite). Both alcohol and weed increase hunger and appetite, sometimes leading to strange and uncontrollable cravings. That represents half to almost the end of the effect.

Hospital part 3

She's still waiting. She's still waiting for someone to help her remove that fucking arrow from her chest. The whole reason she's been there waiting for probably hours. Nurses even walk past in front of her but still no one assists her. As before, she's still annoyed, but now she's also discouraged and sad. Not only that, but the male version of a Katniss Everdeen wannabe is also gone. Representation of a breakup or one of their breaks. Mila's alone, and suddenly, the wound begins to bleed.

In this case, the arrow through her heart symbolizes feeling emotionally hurt. Since loving someone is not always a walk in dreamland, but it also consists of twists and turns and can really fucking hurt you, here we see how her heart starts dripping blood. The bleeding can also represent how toxic relationships leave you in the end. Again, love is pain but she LUVs IT.

Thing more important, the wound begins to bleed because she's no longer with her. It didn't do it the entire time Laur was with her, but her heart started to bleed in pain only after she left. Representation of how her heart, although already wounded (arrow) by her/for her, cannot bear to be without her (bleeding). As I also explained in my This Love’s interpretation, the choice over the years has often been between having her and suffering, or not having her at all, and as we know, she always chose her.

The end

So, that was the music video. It gave me Miami and Florida. It gave me GTA and crack house feelings 🤣. It gave me wildness and adrenaline. It gave me roller coaster. It gave me college students traveling for the holidays/Spring Breakers movie. *For those who don't know what I'm talking about 👇🏼*

Especially here with this promo.

*Last minute edit: she just said Spring Breakers is one of the inspired aesthetics for the new era*

She in specific, gave me addicted to pain. She gave me impulsiveness. She gave me a fast-paced lifestyle, full of passion, desire, and disregard for consequences. She gave me vibe. She gave me boujee. She gave me dance. She gave me actress and humor as has also happened in other videos in the past (although less than those ones) such as for example Havana, Liar, My Oh My, Bam Bam, Don’t Go Yet, etc. (it's not the first time Camila's been in ridiculous situations in her videos). She gave me chaos begets chaos, and in order to maintain sanity, one must embrace the insanity. Or in her case, a palm tree 🤣🤣🤣.

I mean, all in all and in its complexity, I really enjoyed it. She said the theme of the video is chaos and danger, and we saw that. In the interview with Bru On The Radio, still talking about the video, she said: “This complex feeling of loving the pain of something, or loving the messiness of something, or loving the chaos of something, really kind of like finding the beauty in that part of our humanity”. And we saw that too.

And as if it wasn't clear enough already, the video is an artistic representation of the toxic tendencies and behaviors of their toxic relationship in general throughout all these years. And yes, their as in both of them, not just her as in Lauren's. I told you guys in the beginning that it's Camila's POV and I explained that Lauren isn't that bitchy and dickish in real life, but we don't just see Laur's toxic tendencies and behaviors from Mila's POV in the video. We actually see Mila's a lot more. Let me explain.

We saw how Laur brings chaos into Mila's life and their relationship (house scene). She's hurt her (shot her with an arrow through the heart), she doesn't acknowledge her in the hospital, and she also leaves at the end. The leaving her there (breakup or break) in those conditions as well as not taking something for her too from the vending machine is a neglect; another trait of a toxic relationship. That's all. That's what we see as far as Lauren is concerned. Mila on the other hand…

She's the one who's unbothered, especially in the beginning, in having an arrow in her heart, aka being hurt. She's the one who doesn't react when Lo destroys the house, aka when Laur has toxic behavior towards her. Still her the one who runs away from her problems so as not to face them and avoids conflicts (dogs and wrestler). In fact, if that's why, I wanna put in a good word for Laur in this case since she fights her by forcing her to confront her, aka talk about their problems. Still Mila the one who uses an imaginary automatic machine gun to shoot and destroy the bed symbolically in her head just because she’s angry with her. She's the one who crashes herself on top of a car and risks her life on other occasions with the dogs, the palm tree, and by drinking gasoline. I mean, see what I mean?

Who's the most toxic one we see here? And again, this is just a video. Not the reality. I feel like I always have to specify these things with you guys because one never knows you misinterpreted it 🤣. But anyway. I'm happy Mila did it. I'm happy that Mila represented even her toxicity since for many years due to her songs people only and always blamed Lauren. It's something I've been saying for years 💁🏻‍♀️. They both have their faults. There are two people in the couple and there are always two sides to a story. Not just one.

In any case, that's it, dear Anon. I hope you enjoyed both analysis 🙃.

🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍

Aaand I'm done 👅. Thank you all for your asks and I hope I've been helpful this time too 🙃. As usual, I'm always available for those who have questions, so ask away 😄.

Remember to be nice. Always. Both with others and with yourselves. Be a good example. Be patient. Be safe and take care of yourselves. Don't let our ship sink. Keep shipping them, but please respectfully 🙏🏼. Sending you virtual love and hugs 🤗🤗🤗. I love you, babies. Always with love, F ❤️.

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