#well i sure as fuck am not going to write it so if anybody else feels inspired PLEASE DO

[tathrin]

Oh no help, why is my brain suddenly full of an RAF (or RFC) AU where Legolas is a pilot who gets the nickname “Greenleaf” because of how lightly and acrobatically he flies (and also he should probably be Irish or Scottish so the Brits can be derisive about his “more dangerous and less wise” people hmm? ooh or Indian! doesn’t really matter as long as he wears a lot of green so the nickname makes sense lmao) while Gimli was too short for the army but is a fucking amazing mechanic and basically single-handedly responsible for how amazing this unit’s planes are and how no matter how wrecked their planes are if they can get them back to base at all he can fix them, and Legolas fell in love basically the first time he saw Gimli work his miracles with that wrench and Gimli is not in love thank you, he is very very annoyed by this chipper pilot who keeps getting holes shot in his fucking wings and he definitely doesn’t like him at all and certainly doesn’t go out of his way to tinker with Legolas’s plane all the time and make sure it’s the absolute best machine in the air oh no nope definitely not dammit and he certainly doesn’t fret every time Legolas flies off into battle or comes back with his engine smoking again that fucker oh how Gimli loathes him! until one day he finally hops out of a just-barely-landed-successfully plane that is literally on fire Legolas what the fuck you idiot and oh and he stumbles what’s wrong oh no is he hurt oh no and Gimli runs over to help him up and instead they kiss right on the runway oh fuck—!

And the whole unit has been taking bets on this forever, so Commander Strider has to come break up the fistfight between Éowyn-who-definitely-isn’t-using-her-brother’s-ID-and-the-whole-unit-doesn’t-know-she’s-secretly-a-girl-NOPE and Boromir over who now owes whom money before Boromir’s little brother, the only one in the unit who hasn’t figured out that Éowyn is a girl yet, does something stupid trying to stop his brother fighting with “the fellow” he definitely doesn’t have a crush on Boromir please—!

Strider is so tired. He didn’t sign-up for herding idiots in love, he’s just trying to win the damn war, do you lads MIND???

Lord Mithrandir is sitting in his office watching the show from the window and laughing so hard, he fucking loves his deranged pilots so much. He has pulled  so many blatant cover-ups for their hijinks, and everybody in high command knows that he’s tossing aside regulations left and right, but his units are the most successful pilots in the damn skies so nobody can do anything about it dammit. (He’s also definitely in cahoots with General Galadriel, who pulls his ass out of the fire every damn time somebody tries to bestow some kind of reprimand or punishment, and who gets regular “briefings” about his pilots that absolutely aren’t just gossip in disguise, and which she certainly doesn’t pass along to her granddaughter who’s engaged to Commander Strider, who definitely isn’t royalty in disguise, nope nope and also nope.)

[midnightsnyx]

girl at home | mat barzal | part 9

pairing: mat barzal x fem!reader

warnings: angst, mentions of pregnancy, not edited word count: 2.1k authors note: i am back with a little less brain!! (literally) it took me a bit to start writing again cause I had some slowness on my right side so I wasn't quite up to writing. BUT i hope you guys like p9 and thank you so much for the continuous love on this story <3 the first bit is marlee's POV and after the * it's back to readers pov. hope u all like & pls lmk what you think <3

masterlist masterpost ask box

MARLEE

Marlee Jones loved her job. It was something she took pride in; helping bring new lives into the world and being there for all the mamas. Of course there were always the hard days, the days that made her hug Stella a little tighter when she got home from a shift. Her job had its ups and downs, but at the end of the day, she wouldn’t want to do anything else. 

So, her panic is warranted when she comes across a certain patient file. She wasn’t looking for it, but when her eyes caught the name and there weren’t any other people nearby, she couldn’t help herself. It’s against HIPAA, and if anybody found out, she would be fired without question but she slipped the file in between a couple others and walked to a random supply closet. She closed and locked the door behind her before pulling the file out and opening it. Her eyes quickly scanned the pages, the words Hysterical Pregnancy making her heart race. She had to double check the name on the file twice, before believing it. 

She knew that someone would notice the missing file, so she quickly found a printer and copied the pages, tucking them in her tote bag and putting the file exactly where it was. 

Nobody would know.

*

Your first instinct is to calm Marlee down. Her panicking is making you panic and at least one of you needs to keep a straight head. You’re trying to let her words sink in without letting your mind go down a rabbit hole. You need to see all the facts before letting yourself do that.

“Marlee,” you reach out to grab her shaking hands. “What happened?”

She looks up at you and takes a deep breath. “I can’t- I can’t tell you the details but she’s not pregnant. She lied, and it’s already caused so much damage between you, and Mat and Liana… and Nora.” She pulls her hands away from yours and buries her face in them.

You decide not to remind her that Mat already fucked things up before Calista dropped the baby bomb on him because she knows that. Focus on one disaster at a time. 

Calista lied about being pregnant. Mat doesn’t know this, and even if you try to tell him, you have no idea how he’ll react. Really, it’s none of your business and you can very well go on with your life because Mat has let you know loud and clear what his feelings are. He wants Calista in his life despite you not wanting her in Nora’s life. He technically has no rights, no say in what happens but when he first found out about her and asked to be in her life, you’d so desperately wanted to let him. 

“How long can she pull off this lie until he finds out the truth?” you ask quietly and she lifts her head from her hands.

“Depends,” she mumbles.

“On what?”

“How deep she has him pulled into her fantasy.”

. . .

You let Nora spend a little more time with Stella, mainly wanting her to burn as much energy from the sugar high she’s on from the ice-cream. She’s sleepy when you buckle her in her carseat and you’re pretty sure she’s asleep but she mumbles something and you look to see her looking at you with droopy eyes.

“What was that?” you ask softly.

She looks down, avoiding eye contact with you which is worrisome. 

“Do you think Mat would want to see me?” she whispers. “Without her?”

She obviously doesn’t need to clarify who she's referring to and it breaks your heart that a six-year-old has to worry about things like this. 

“I can ask,” you tell her, unsure why she wants to see him suddenly. “You don’t have to go see Mat if you don’t want to, baby.”

By now, you’re pulling into your driveway so you can turn the jeep off and turn to give her your full attention. She still won’t look at you so you reach out and tap on her leg until she looks up. 

“I want to,” she says but doesn’t elaborate so you don’t push. 

“Okay, I’ll call him tomorrow.”

She just nods and starts to unbuckle her seatbelt so you get out and help her. She doesn’t complain when you carry her inside, helping her change into pajamas and brush her teeth. When she asks if she can watch a movie before bed, you don’t have the heart to deny her, even though it’s close to her bedtime so you set her up on the couch and put her favorite movie on. She’ll be out like a light in less than twenty minutes so while you’re waiting, you grab your phone and pull up Mat’s contact. Your finger hovers over the call option but you’re not sure you want to talk to him over the phone so you go into your text messages instead. The last messages between the two of you were when you last met up and even then they were short and to the point which makes this text easily simple.

To Mat: Nora wants to see you.

You lay your phone on the counter and get a glass of water while waiting for his response. You’re unnecessarily nervous, mainly because you are expecting him to start an argument the moment you tell him that Nora doesn’t want Calista to be there. You don’t even feel comfortable letting Mat see her because of what he said, but you can’t turn her request down. Not when she was so adamant about not wanting to see him, and out of the blue deciding that she does. 

When you check on Nora while waiting for a response, she’s asleep so you pick her up and carry her to bed. You spend a minute just watching her after you’ve tucked her in. You’re desperate to see what’s going on in that little head of hers.

Just as you walk back to the kitchen, your phone buzzes and you freeze. Maybe messaging Mat tonight was a bad idea, and you should’ve just waited until tomorrow. It’s too late now though so you walk over and look to see Mat’s name and an unread message. 

From Mat: ok

From Mat: when?

It bothers you, how nonchalant he’s acting after everything that’s happened. This is about Nora though, so you take a breath and try to decide on a date.

To Mat: Sunday?

From Mat: ok

You want to scream at him and take back the offer but remind yourself again that Nora explicitly asked to see him and it’s her decision to make. 

So, you set up a place and time and tell him that she doesn’t want to see Calista. You expect him to argue, but he responds with another simple ok, and that’s that. 

. . .

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Marlee asks, crossing her arms and glaring at Mat who’s sitting on a bench at the park you agreed to meet at. The two of you are standing outside her jeep, stalling a little before going over there. 

Nora asked if Stella could come to the park too and Marlee was pulling out of her driveway before you could finish asking. You’re a little worried that she’s going to yell at Mat, but you figure with the kids there, she will contain herself unless he says something out of line.

“Nora asked to see him,” you remind her but she just grumbles something under her breath. 

You’re ready to get this over with so you open the door and let Nora and Stella climb out of the jeep. Normally, they would race to the playground but Nora is hesitating, glancing over to where Mat is. He hasn’t noticed that you’re here yet which is good, because you are about five seconds away from just putting the kids back in and driving away. 

Nora sighs quietly before walking over to Mat. You and Marlee hang back a little but Stella grabs her hand and sticks close to her. 

When Mat sees her, his face lights up and for a second, you want to forgive him so everything can go back to how it was before. You can’t though, not when what he said is still so fresh and not when you know about Calista’s lies.

“Hey peanut,” he says softly, staying seated while Nora stands in front of him, looking down and scuffing her shoe on the gravel. He looks at you when she doesn’t say anything but you just shrug even though you’re confused. You’re about to ask Nora if she wants to just go to the playground when she breaks her silence.

“Are you not my daddy?” she asks quietly and it takes you off guard. You had this conversation with her, assuring her that Calista was lying but she must want to hear it from Mat.

“What?” he asks, looking at you before turning his attention back to her.

“Calista told me that you’re not my daddy,” she says more firmly, finally looking up at him. Her arms are crossed and she’s glaring at him. You’d be impressed if you weren’t so worried about what Mat may say.

His mouth opens and closes a couple times and he looks like a fish out of water. He looks at you again, as if he’s expecting you to step in but you just raise an eyebrow at him as if to say I told you so.

“I think she was confused-” he begins to say which is absolutely the wrong thing to say because it sets Nora off. 

She stomps her foot and her glare hardens. “No! She said that mommy lied and that you’re not really my daddy. She told me that I don’t have a daddy.”

Before he can say anything, she’s storming off toward the playground, Stella chasing after her. 

“Do I need to say I told you so?” you ask sharply, now that the kids are out of hearing range.

“You just did,” he mumbles and Marlee, who has been quiet up until now, steps towards Mat.

“You’re a piece of work,” she snaps and Mat looks at her confused. 

“Excuse me?” 

“Do I need to repeat myself?” she says, and you’re more than happy to let her say what’s on her mind. 

“You’re letting your girlfriend tell your daughter that you’re not her father, and instead of comforting Nora, you’re trying to defend your girlfriend!” 

For a moment, you’re scared Marlee is going to get angry enough that she’ll tell him the truth about Calista, but she takes a deep breath and turns away to go to where the girls are playing. You watch her walk over until she reaches them before turning back to Mat. 

He’s staring at the ground and you don’t know why you’re still standing here but you guess you’re just waiting for Mat to say something.

“I fucked up,” he eventually mumbles and you scoff. 

“When did you come to that brilliant conclusion?” 

There’s the tiniest part of you that wants to bring up Calista, just to see if he’ll tell you anything but you’re not sure you’re in the mood to hear about her. Not when you know the truth. 

“Liana is mad at me,” he tells you, which is news, because you thought she was just angry at you. 

“I can’t imagine why.”

You look back at Nora, smiling when you see her laughing. She looks more like herself, rather than the gloomy kid she’s been the past couple days since she asked to see Mat. Like she got what was bothering her off her tiny shoulders. 

Out of the corner of your eye, you can see Mat doing the same but his smile isn’t as real. If you weren’t still angry at him, you’d feel bad but you can’t let go of what he said and the fact that he tried again to defend Calista. 

“She’s a good kid,” he says softly and you hum in agreement. 

“Did you know?” he asks, “that she was going to say that?”

“No,” you tell him. It’s not a lie - she didn’t tell you why she wanted to see Mat, and you didn’t want to push. 

“I’m sorry,” he says, but you shake your head and look directly at him.

“Sorry isn’t going to fix it this time. Marlee was right, instead of apologizing to Nora, who deserves to hear that more than me, you won’t stop making excuses for Calista,” you tell him. “I don’t know what you’re expecting from Nora and I, but sorry isn’t the answer.” 

He frowns, but nods, seemingly accepting your response. You leave it at that and walk over to where Nora, Stella, and Marlee are, grinning when your daughter reaches for you. She hugs you when you pick her up and when you look back at the bench Mat was sitting at, he’s already gone.

tag list: @literatureluster @dasiysthings @barzyblogbabe @diary-of-jj @heatherawoowoo @fallinallincurls @lovinbarzal @whatthepuckisgoingon @teapartydreams @alilstressyandlotdepressy @keiva1000 @hischiershoe @bellstwd @alwaysclassyeagle @brrbrina @nonsensical-nonsence

@love-like-woaah @cycy9 @swift-sos

if you want to be added or taken off the tag list please let me know! & if you asked to be tagged and I didn't it's cause your @ didn't come up when i searched

[jewish-sideblog]

hey, so im Palestinian and a strong activist for my people's liberation. i wanted to ask for some info/advice on avoiding antisemitism in my activism for Palestine. im on anon bc i don't want to be called a racefaker for caring about Jewish ppl. i know antisemitism is on the rise right now (and generally over the past few years) and i want to make sure i'm not unintentionally contributing to it.

Hey there! I wanted to start by genuinely thanking you for asking this question. Partially because I don't actually get any well-intentioned or helpful questions in my inbox anymore, but also because I understand the amount of bravery it takes to reach out with a question like that at a time like this.

Next, I want to apologize to all my followers who hate long posts. Judaism is a very complicated ethnoreligious group, antisemitism is a very complicated form of bigotry, and the Israeli/Palestinian conflict is arguably the most complicated international issue that has ever existed. I'm going to try to go through everything as succinctly as possible below the cut-- I am also going to ask other Jews to contribute to and make edits to this list as needed.

And finally-- I'm writing this as though I were speaking to someone with very little knowledge of the subject. I understand that as a Palestinian, you probably know a lot about what's going on here. But I want to make sure that I'm covering bases for anybody else who might need to use this post. So if you're like, Yeah, Obviously I Knew That. Please remember that a fuckton of people on tumblr are engaging in Israeli criticism without obviously knowing that.

There are two primary forms of antisemitism in anti-Zionist spaces-- antisemitic conspiracy theory, and criticism of Israel that no other country receives. The first kind is the easiest kind to pick out, and it makes a nice bulleted list, so we'll start there.

Dual Loyalty. A global stereotype that has skyrocketed since the establishment of Israel, but it's been around for a lot longer than that. Simply put, it's the idea that Jews are more loyal to Israel (or some global secret kabal) than we are to the countries we currently reside in. With I/P, it manifests as the idea that All Jews are directly responsible for Israel or the idea that All Jews secretly support Israel. If you see a Jew who isn't directly engaging in I/P topics, don't ask them what their stance is. Plenty of us have never even been to Israel, and it's fucked up to assume that we're all experts in geopolitics.

The Holocaust was a Fabrication or a Lesson. The idea that Jews made up the Shoah has been around since the Shoah was still happening, and it's always been ridiculous. Today, you'll see three primary lines about this. Either it's that Jews made up the Shoah as an excuse to establish Israel, that the Jews deserved the Shoah because of what's happening in Israel today, or that the Jews "should have learned their lesson from the Holocaust" because now Jews are "the new Nazis". Frankly, I wish goyim would stop treating the deaths of millions of Jews like a TV show. Palestinian deaths are genuinely horrible, but this isn't some kind of "narrative parallel" to the Shoah.

The Kazars Theory, or All Jews are White. This is the DNA test nonsense. The idea is that Israel (or Jews at large) are only pretending to be indigenous to the Levant and that secretly Jews as a whole are actually indigenous to Eastern Europe. It's a lie, started by a German professor of Russian history in the early 1800s. Meanwhile, the vast majority of genetic, historical, and archaeological evidence points to Jewish origins in the Israeli/Palestinian region. There have been literal hundreds of genetic studies on this. Most of them suggest that Jews, even "white" Ashkenazim, are nearly genetically identical to Palestinians.

World Domination. The idea that Jews control the world began with the Protocols of the Elders of Zion in 1903. If you're encountering criticism of Israel that suggests that world governments, particularly European or American ones, are being controlled by Jews, you've got yourself antisemitism. White supremacists like to use the term "Zionist Occupied Government" or "ZOG" as shorthand for this conspiracy. The next two points are born out of this same ideology.

Controlling the Media. The idea that Jews are in charge of Hollywood and/or major news organizations around the world. Regarding I/P, I've seen a bunch of people say something like "Western media outlets won't cover this! (Because you know who controls them!)" only to look online and see... Western media outlets covering it. See also: "My source is tiktok! I don't trust the news!" While it's obviously a fair criticism to say that some Western news outlets certainly have a pro-Israel and anti-Palestinian bias, it's certainly not every single one of them. Reuters and the AP are once again my go-to's here.

Controlling the Financial World. I haven't actually seen this come up regarding I/P, but considering how things have been going, it's only a matter of time. We don't control the banks. We don't control the stock market. We're not in charge of American aid being sent to Israel. HaShem knows that if we controlled all the money, I'd certainly be living larger than I am now...

Those Bloodthirsty Jews. This one arguably started with Blood Libel in the 1100s, when Christians started accusing us of stealing and eating their babies. Straight up, I have met Christians who still believe this in 2023. You see this a lot with I/P-- the Al Ahli Hospital is the biggest example. More than a month later, most reliable intelligence organizations agree that a misfired Hamas rocket landed in a parking lot, killing about 100 people. But a ton of people are still saying that Those Bloodthirsty Jews intentionally bombed the hospital dead on, killing 470 people. I want to be clear-- Israel is killing a lot of civilians. But if you see a bandwagon of people focusing on the one group of deaths that Israel probably actually didn't cause? Consider why.

Causing wars, revolutions, and calamities. Hamas has straight-up got this one in their founding charter. No, the Jews are not responsible for any major global conflicts, revolutions, or counter-revolutions that don't directly involve Israel. We didn't do WWII. We didn't do the October Revolution. See above-- we're not secretly plotting massacres on Shabbat. A lot of people are saying that Netanyahu and Likud let Hamas in to justify the invasion of Gaza... I'd be shocked if that was the case. All evidence points to a classic intelligence failure. We're not orchestrating bloodbaths.

Section 2: Criticisms only levelled at Israel

It's important to recognise that Israeli civilians are no more collectively responsible for the actions of the Likud coalition than Palestinians are collectively responsible for the actions of Hamas. No Palestinian deserves to be stripped of their rights to self-determination in their ancestral lands because of the October 7th attack. Likewise, no Chinese person deserves to be displaced from China because of the CCP's human rights violations in Tibet, Uyghur and Hong Kong. No Russian person deserves to be ethnically cleansed from Russia because of the Kremlin's invasion of Ukraine. But plenty of people do believe that Jews should be stripped of their rights to self-determination in historically Jewish indigenous lands because of the actions of the Israeli government.

After October 7th, I've seen people argue that Israeli babies deserved to be kidnapped because of their national origin. I've seen people argue that Israeli women deserved to be sexually abused because of their nation of origin. I've seen people argue that the seven million Jews living in their ancestral homeland deserve death or displacement because of their nation of origin. Justifying or allowing brutal harm against people because of their national origin is hateful.

I want to make this part very clear-- I do not have an issue with calling out Israeli war crimes or crimes against humanity. But I do have an issue with treating Jewish civilians differently than civilians of other nations responsible for similar horrors. Amplifying bias against a particular group because of that group's nation of origin is called bigotry. Taking a stand against Israeli settlements in the West Bank is anti-Zionism. Collectivizing the label of "white colonialism", and forcing that label upon refugees forced to move to Israel, or Mizrahim with uninterrupted 8,000-year histories in Israel, is antisemitism.

Part 3: Moving Forward

So where do we go from here? If advocating for the destruction of Israel is advocating for the elimination of Jewish self-determination in our ancestral lands, but advocating in favour of the Israeli government is advocating for the elimination of Palestinian self-determination in your ancestral lands, then we must find some middle ground. A solution that allows seven million Jews and five-and-a-half-million Arabs to share the same holy land, without fear of persecution, displacement, or death. For me, this means a few things.

First of all, the recognition that most Israelis disagree with Netanyahu's approach to Palestine, and most Palestinians disagree with Hamas's approach to Israel. And that brings up a question-- why are Likud and Hamas in charge of Israel and Gaza respectively if most people disagree with them? Without getting into the complicated intricacies of the Knesset and the PNA on an already very long post (and without explaining your own government to you), the simple answer is international funds.

Israeli crimes against Palestinians are bankrolled by American Evangelical Christians, who believe that when Palestine is gone, all the Jews will go to Israel, and Jesus will come back to kill the world's infidels. They actually fucking believe that. Meanwhile, Hamas is bankrolled by Iran, which believes that the more often Jews and Sunni Muslims kill each other, the easier it will be for Iranian Shiite Jihad to take over the world. They actually fucking believe that.

So what steps can we take during our advocacy? Not for the destruction of Israel nor the destruction of Palestine, but for America and Iran to get their noses out of our damn business. I genuinely believe that a defunded Likud and a defunded Hamas will allow Israelis and Palestinians to work together for a peaceful two-state or joint-rule solution. Something that will keep my Palestinian friends from feeling like they can't safely travel from Jaffa to Tel Aviv. Something that will allow my Jewish family to visit and pray at the Cenotaphs of Isaac and Rebecca and the Temple Mount. Something that will let Israeli children from Kibbutz Nirim and Palestinian children from Khan Yunis play on the same playgrounds together, instead of sheltering from missile fire.

Frankly, we nearly had that when the Supreme Muslim Council and the Assembly of Representatives began collaborating against the British Mandate instead of against each other. Clearly, it's possible, we just need to stop being pitted against each other by foreign powers.

[drdemonprince]

to the anon who sent me the message that took them 4 hours to draft.

I think your experience both with organizing and disability has probably provoked you to rethink the entire concept of "success" as our culture has defined it, even if you feel yourself still longing for some of the comfort and ease that capitalistic success can seemingly provide (or that we are conditioned to believe it can provide). im not sure what to say that can match the effort your put into your message, in fact i am galled by the fact that i know that i can't match that effort. i don't know how to make sense of the fact that a person who is finding it incredibly difficult to remain connected and engaged during this time, due to disability, has decided that i was worth that level of effort when they don't have the energy to message people they know. i don't think i am worth that effort. but i also respect that mired in all that you're mired in, it's a meaningful gesture toward engagement and connection to even bother writing such a message. i just think in a lot of ways i am a misplaced target for it, because i am a ridiculously privileged and publicly exposed individual who receives dozens of heartfelt messages that he doesnt find the time to respond to every single day. i think if anything that i've written rubs you the wrong way you'd be right to approach it with cynicism. because what the fuck do i know, banging around on my laptop every day and getting paid for it. how dare i lecture anybody about not unlearning capitalism adequately enough. i am one of capitalisms little milking cows. a massive publishing company makes a weekly profit off of me, off the byproduct of the worst years of my life and my worst traumas, as well as the meaning i've made from the scholarship of others.

i'm so enraged for you that you got a debilitating case of COVID (after several other cases) on an encampment, and that now the community you foster at that encampment is not there for you. i am disgusted at how more seasoned activists and organizations have regarded student protestors as disposable this entire year, selling them out to the cops, cutting bad deals with campus administration, and sending them to yellow and red risk level actions without adequate communication and getting them kettled and beat, or else nullifying their efforts with mealy-mouthed talk about keeping things peaceful. i see so many toothless, neoliberal protests happening here, ones that serve only as fundraisers for massive nonprofit orgs, and i also see literal teenagers being dragged right into paddy wagons by the likes of the PSL or the RCP while the Dems deride them and dance to Brat tracks, not even pretending to care the way they unconvincingly did in say 2020.

It's all making me terribly cynical, wondering where we are headed and whether i can or should encourage people who are younger, stronger, more energetic, more pliable, and more vulnerable to me to give up all that they've got for a cause when it's likely gonna be chewed up and spit out and not met in effort by anyone else. i am mournful of the fact that even i can't match that effort. every time i get a message from a friend or acquaintance who is going through some new awful traumatizing event i want to just curl up and disappear, because i can't even keep up with sending compassionate messages to all of them, let alone actually showing the fuck up and doing anything for them. and so sometimes i slip into the disaffected, blunted feeling that once led me as a younger man into libertarianism, thinking that all i can or should do is look after my own wellbeing, and fuck everybody else. and obviously that is a horrible path that is not by any means moral and certainly didn't help me anyway. it felt like we were on the brink of a great paradigm shift of some kind, a collapse of these evil systems, and now it feels like all of that is as far away as it's ever been, and that there aren't enough people with class consciousness and care for one another to make it happen.

i don't know. i think we all have to abandon our dreams of success, of comfort, of saving the world, the fantasies of everything being fine. i think we need to look to our immediate surroundings and our communities. i think we need to ask for help a whole hell of a lot more than any of us are doing, and to recognize that that is a form of helping. i think we need to get small. and remember we are weak animals. and stop thinking there is anything special or chosen about us. and to remember that nature can often be very cruel and that there is nothing we are owed. disabled people already know this of course, we know life isn't fair. we try to do what we can and yet we wake up feeling even less capable the next day, and it knows no logic and the universe remains indifferent to it. but there are people around us who can care, when we ask them to. and ways that we can just be there alongside one another in the muck of it all. not even necessarily making things better. certainly not being a savior and making the pain go away. maybe just sitting in the muck together.

all of which is to say, i am feeling stuck and overwhelmed and useless myself, anon, and i dont have any more answers than you. but thanks for messaging. im sorry people have taking advantage of you. including in my opinion lots of other activists. looking after yourself and not letting people guilt you doesn't mean turning into a conservative. the kind of anarchy that i am embracing right now is one that goes beyond linear change, beyond making meaning, beyond any idealistic visions of the future, beyond even fighting for some kind of symbolic survival. it's just being. none of it has to mean anything, none of it has to be headed anywhere. it just is. there is plenty for you to be bitter about.

[34saveme34]

So, when did 3 fall for 4? Also a "tiny" 3 analysis, and other stuff because what the fuck is OP on - the Post

Now let me preface this by my credentials, if you are not aware of my expertise. Which is countless posts about 34, mainly 3, I saw ALL the episodes with 3 in it, and in general I think I could be classified as an overanalyzer in the fandom. Like, I don't like to be overconfident of anything but I think I earned that title.

Now, onto the topic as I'm sure I had convinced you I am qualified.

3 and his love for 4. It existed in many ways. The funny thing about SMG4 canon is it's- quite- not as clearcut. It's obviously not a fnaf security breach major blunder but things don't always align.

Regardless, I think we can say, 3 loved 4 in many ways. If we concentrated on that, I think we could say he fell at first sight. But when I say fell for 4 I don't just mean a crush or simple infatuation, I mean fell for him so hard he could imagine a future beside him, as much as he lets himself daydream, like he didn't only want him for his good looks or fame, but for who he is, deeply. I'm talking when he fell for him so hard, he could not only view him as a crush to long for but someone he wanted to connect with so so badly.

And the first time he fell, it wasn't that. It was a sort of obsession. A one sided rivalry at first. Because he was jealous, he wanted to be like 4. It's- a very toxic form of love. And it indeed persisted for long, for so so long because he felt overshadowed by him with everything. Which is so interesting to me because it makes it feel like there weren't anybody else in that school. But there- definitely was. It's a school afterall. So, his obsession in that regard was definitely unhealthy. And due to something he didn't realise then.

And then like, if we try to apply classic times to modern stuff, he fell for him for his looks as well. I don't think much time passed for that as well. I just genuinely think he had the most homoerotic one sided rivalry with 4 which went unaddressed for so long it blew in their face and 4 started caring about it more.

You know, I just realised. Really stupid that I realise this while writing my analysis but I'm a honest man so I tell you that I just thought of this. We- never exactly see how memewarts was like from 4's perspective. Like maaaaaaybe the slight idea he didn't hate it because he never mentioned hating going there. The things we see of it could definitely be the worst moments or exaggerations. And it makes me realise that- I don't know exactly how memewarts was like for them, I don't even know if what we know about it is all there is to it. Because I think it's less 3 being this unhealthy and more that maybe it wasn't a one sided rivalry. Maybe 4 was just thinking it was more friendly while 3 was actively coping with his self esteem dropping from it. And if I remember right, he was actually failing at school. Probably why he went to get a psychology degree, that maybe he could learn something to better himself but that didn't work lol. Especially because right after this, his more unhealthy but honestly not one without reason obsession came. Which I'm guessing was when 4 started youtube. And yknow, after everything he went through beside him, of course the rivalry reignited and they started all over again more heated and homoerotic than ever. And then he like, had a phase of trying to be a villain in general but always went back to 4 in a way. Like sure, he talks about ruling over the world but when you strip it back it's always about how he wants to be better than 4. NO I'M NOT SAYING IT'S THE ONLY REASON. 3 has a rotten moral compass, I don't think he would be really against ruling the world if it wasn't for 4, but 4 is definitely a big motivator. Because he felt like nothing, he wanted everything so badly. To make the feeling go away. Which is why, even with its flaws, youtube arc is so immaculate. It shows him going through it, going through what 4 goes through and understanding. and I mean REALLY understanding. Because of It's Gotta Be Perfect, we know it affects him to this day.

And this is WHY when they meet the next time, he was so much chiller. Not just because the graveyard let him turn over a new leaf, but because he really understood. However things were still kind of- unsure with the 2.

I think a sliver of hope to connect, different from falling so hard that not connecting is unimabinable

in that it isn't about wanting to connect so badly, but a bit of "he isn't so bad afterall"

which was the 10 year anni movie, which is also really really awesome

Like, 3 wasn't letting go of his petty rivarly still but it became a lot less- heated. In the angst way. He could appreciate 4 from a new angle, one no one else could. Even at this point, like it was only brought up in Perfect but I promise you, I think even around these times if they just spent a little more time together, he would've been able to deliver those beautiful lines. You know the ones. I think Perfect easily would've been reasonable after Revelations. Because like, I'll be real, Lawsuit was all mainly plot and less- lore. No hate though, I like Lawsuit. AND not just because of mar4. I just had a thought that if I included here, it would get too much. Might make another ramble post after this one.

Anyways, to be back on topic. They were acquaintences with deep connections by like, middle or so of, but especially later in Genesis.

And actually, there's a really. And I mean REALLY important moment in genesis for them. Many actually but one SO SO important to 3 it might keep him up at night.

YEAH BABY

I'M MAKING THE CASE WITH MY F A V OU R I TE EPISODE THAT'S RIGHT.

I'm not saying he fell at this point. 3 in 2024 and further is so deep in the gay soup it's crazy.

I'm saying the moment they used the meme energy together was when he fell so hard. He wanted to connect so blissfully for the first time with 4. Things fell in place so well. He probably wanted this to last forever. It was probably the first time he could just- ignore the anguish and the grief he had when concerning 4. He fell for him badly then. And what else is my proof for this? You say if you aren't easily convinced.

And of course, what kind of deranged poster would I be if I didn't include further evidence of my very absolutely outragous idea!

I think 4 was less in like, deeply love at this point- but 3 was. 3 was so deep at this point. Look at that expression. That expression of "I'm really opening up to the person I hated the most because when I stop and think about it he isn't so awful and- FUCK I'M IN LOVE WITH HIM but I'm managing (not) (he's lying)"

while 4 is like. wow. this guy who was so bitter then. as a friend. I want it REALLY badly for some reason <- proceeds to not think too hard about it right now. It's very sweet anyways. Especially with Mario's line after because he's right. I wish they continued with Mario teasing them about it. I know all of us unhealthy lovers of Cosmology miss that tiny part of it. I know THAT'S why there's so many fics where Mario almost openly talks about these bitches being gay asf. And he is right each time.

Anyways while I'm at it and because I can't stop yapping about it.

I do think 4 kind of- fell here- or well started to and it slowly started to seep into him. Which is why I think Mario was also teasing him about it. I mean, Mario IS his best friend, as someone who also loves mar4, when it comes to like, general knowledge, I think, even when we consider 3, Mario is actually unbeatable. Like I think if like, 4 held a quiz for Who Is His Best friend with the crew, 3 and Mario would be the finalists and Mario would win. (they should make this into a real episode UGHGHGGGH) He knows 4 so well. Which is ALSO why his whole teasing is important. Especially because he isn't THAT stupid. I think he moreso often but not all the time lacks common sense. Like he lacks smarts when the plot demands.

Anyways, Mario aside, I'm saying Mario knew 4 fell for 3 earlier than 4 himself knew. (throwback to forced to hold hands, I think he's just waiting for something at this point because he then so easily took the idea that they're dating. he FUCKIN knooooooooooows ALSO THE HI TWITTER THING. He's tired of it at this point but he KNOWS)

But I think 4 realised his feelings when

when it hit 4 so badly that he snapped out of something awful.

Perfect.

it was then that he knew. Then that he realised how much 3 cared for him, through all of that that he- he let it out in a way. He let himself put his guard down finally. He wasn't being a bitch now. He saw just how much 3 cared about him and that care finally let him realise like, full on. anyways petition for a reverse situation where 4 can show how deeply he cares for 3. I don't even care if it makes 34 canon, I just want 3 to be weeping to see how much he means to 4. I want him to know so badly, for him to see it. We deserve it, as the collective fandom. I want it to be Trash Friends but on steroids. Like my fanfic Se- [*BANG* I am hit with with a flying stainless steel pan, cold on the floor]

[klausysworld]

Hi I am absolutely obsessed with your writing can you make a klaus being possesive headcanons?

Possessive Klaus HeadCanons:

Klaus is naturally possessive, he doesn’t like to share, what’s his is his and that’s that.

This won’t change when it comes to you.

Possessiveness and jealous sort of blur for Klaus because he is on the high end of the spectrum for both.

He sees someone, anyone looking at you a little too long and he can feels that ugly emotion bubbling inside him. He can’t stop himself from storming towards you and dragging you away from whatever conversation you were in

As soon as he had a grip on you, you’re being passionately kissed, his mouth devouring yours hungrily.

You’re given no breathing time as he shoved you against the wall groping you aggressively

Once he pulls away your panting, lips swollen and pupils blown with lust. His ego is instantly boosted and he’s confident that you aren’t going to be wanting anybody else

Klaus is quick to have a hand on you when in social situations, a room full of bloodthirsty vampires, pissed off werewolves and overconfident witches does not pair well with his paranoia.

Arm round your waist while your back is pressed to his front as he guides you to get a drink. He’ll lean over you to grab your glass, he would tip it into your mouth if you’d let him but you manage to rip it out of his hand with a huff

He would then keep himself pressed against you, swaying to the music as he spoke to his brother, you knew better than to walk off, his grip was strong anyways so there wasn’t much point in trying.

He would later have you twirling around the dance floor, spinning back into his arms and listening to your laugh. His smile would be bright as he whispered in your ear “you have no idea just how gorgeous you look”

On the rare occasion that somebody would attempt to steal you for a dance he would just straight up tear their throat out. There was no wiggle room when it came to that. Nobody would have their hands on you, whether it was ‘innocent’ or not. Especially the not so innocent.

A lot of the time you would have to pull him away from situations, tugging at his jacket “klaus please, let’s just go upstairs okay?” you would whisper, his gaze would soften when he saw the slight fear in your eyes and so he would follow you back to your shared bedroom.

It may start with an apology for his violently nature but he would then progress back to his animalistic ways and be thrusting roughly into you to the point where the bed smacks the wall and the frame breaks

“tell me your mine” he would husk into your ear, “i’m all yours, only yours” you would pant back

He makes sure to leave many many marks along your neck, chest, thighs and anywhere else he can get to. These may be love bites or just bites. He wants all supernatural creatures to know that he has both fucked you and marked you recently, that you are not available for taking and are already owned. Humans shouldn’t even think they had a chance with you anyway but on the odd chance they did, they should be able to see the layers of hickeys and back off.

The next morning hell have you in his arms, probably sat on his hip wearing only panties and his henley, marks on display and drowning in his scent. His ego would be peaked as he sat with your tired body straddling his, seeing his girl all weak and reliant on him while other vampires walked around the compound to see her clung to him, god he could just fuck you right there.

He’s definitely up to make you scream his name loud enough to echo through the entire compound, the entirety of New Orleans if your able.

He is however very careful with public sex because if anyone were to ever see your body, your most vulnerable state, he would go mental. He would personally gauge their eyes out and apologise relentlessly for putting you in such a position

Speaking of public situations, he doesn’t like you going out alone. Possessive Klaus isn’t as bad as yandere Klaus but also not far off.

It’s not that he doesn’t trust you or think that you would run off, no he loves you and he knows you’re feelings a genuine and real.

He just doesn’t trust a single living thing on the planet. He gets jealous of everything, once you asked for a puppy and he could already picture you giving more attention to the dog than you would him, it was an absolute no… until you wear him down.

Klaus makes sure you have something of his on you at all times. Its often a necklace, he has quite a few so it’s easy to have you wear it. Sometimes he gets you to wear his boxers instead of your own underwear, this is normally when it’s going to be a busy supernatural environment, he had to make sure they could smell him on you. On days where you just wore jeans he would make sure to slip his shirts into your wardrobe, a silent demand to wear it.

One time you told him you were upset that he never wore anything of yours and got insecure that he might be as much yours and you are his. He was quick to aid those thoughts, he made sure you understood that he belonged you and only you. From that day he has worn a bracelet of your choosing each day.

Klaus loves you and is going to want everyone to know that.

(sorry this took so long to write)

[visionsofmagic]

make you regret. | miguel o’hara x spiderwoman!reader  

[ao3 | masterlist | part 2]

summary: “keep talking shit and i’ll show you the other things i can do with that mouth of yours.” & “aw, it hurts? too bad. you’re gonna keep taking it until I’m satisfied.”

part 1 • wc: 2.4k • warnings&tags: nsfw, minors dni!, fluff (so little), chocking, oral > m!receiving, kissing, pet names, explicit language, angry and mad!miguel, SPOILER FOR THE MOVIE, biting, licking, squeezing, dominant!miguel, mentions of miguel’s features such as his teeth, brat!reader, no use of y/n, growling, moaning, getting used, roughness, harshness, and more in the story. enjoy! • couldn’t resist to write about him since I saw him in every app I use and well, I have a thing for him like the rest of you, so, hoping you will like this one. part 2 will come soon! [credits for the prompts]  

miguel was angry. you knew it. the moment you entered his personal room to give him a piece of information about the spot and miles morales, a spiderman from earth-1610 dimension, both are anomalies, and miguel needs to stop them before all things crash into each other. he thinks he has to do it - to keep everything in line, in order to prevent any unexpected event happen in a non-canon way.

however, you don’t agree with him, not after you and gwen talked about miles, seeing how she believes in him - how she has a soft spot for him. you know she tries to save miles, nothing wanting him to get hurt. you see your own reflection in her eyes. she cares for miles and you care for miguel but still, you believe he isn’t right completely, no, you believe there is another way to make everything right without hurting anybody.

so, he is mad at you and you know it from the way he looks at the door, then when sees you, he rolls his eyes, turns to the window, and looks outside.

“what is it?” he asks, clearly wanting you to leave soon because, well, you know how he acts when he is mad like this - nothing soft, just roughness that he chooses to show within his body language by fucking you hard and well, you are in a state in which you want him to devour you because you need it too, so, you tease him.

“what a beautiful greeting you have there pretty boy.”

“don’t call me that.” he nearly growls in annoyance.

chuckling, you get what you want; a miguel on edge, ready to make you regret speaking to him like that. “oh, you liked it yesterday, though, when you were -“ pointing to your thighs after sitting on his big bed. “between my thighs.”

only the memory of it made your stomach twist in pleasure and anticipation. he looked so pretty with his cute and teary eyes, looking up to see your face overflowing with the pleasure he was giving to you. your mind goes from his presence to last night and your thighs press into each other to feel something – but you stop when you hear his voice so closely than before. looking up, you see him right in front of you, his tight suit is on like yours, but you believe his suit is the best of you all – probably because of how his body looks thanks to it. his arms folded on his well-built chest, making him look bigger than before. his one eyebrow raised as he talks, “you have guts to come here after you tell me I am doing wrong in front of every fucking else and keep talking about last night?” he is more furious than he looks, you realize and well, it doesn’t help at all, especially when you feel the excitement. luckily, you are his ally, maybe more than that as you hope, not his enemy.

“yeah, I kinda do,” you say with a smirk on your face, being a brat, totally. “the expression on your face at that moment was surely worth seeing! I should take a photo of it only to put it on my wall and see –“

“huh,” he interrupts you, realizing what you’re trying to do and it makes him calmer now but you know he will make you going to pay, and when he says, “you sure have bravery today, not that I complain,” he smirks, holding your chin with his two fingers, making your head raise up as he kneels a little closer, “keep talking shit and I’ll show you the other things I can do with that mouth of yours, pretty girl.”

the air in your lungs decreases each second as your nose can’t find a source of air to breathe because of his words that made you freeze in your place, looking up at his determined face – he is about to make you regret.

“m – miguel – I.” you try to say when you see his eyes getting darker with each passing time and his fingers play with your parted lips.

“shh, keep it,” his fingers travel to your hair, playing with it softly, “you will have all night to say you’re sorry – that you didn’t mean to get me so angry, right, my pretty girl?”

gulping in both excitement and fear, you let him hold you by your neck, kneeling down to your level, pulling you closer, and beginning to kiss you passionately – reliving a lust through his lips mixed with madness on it as well which can be felt clearly since his hold on your neck become unsteady, making your hands grip the sheets of his bed.

moaning into the moan, you realize your legs begin to shake due to the weakness you begin to have – only because of knowing what will come next, still excited as hell for it to come sooner but you can’t say it aloud, not when he only acts to give you pleasure full of pain. “miguel! I – fuck –“ you moan when he bites your bottom lip, his teeth begin to appear slowly, alerting you that the night will not be easy.

“yes, like that, take everything I give to you while just moaning like a dumb for me,” he chuckles, that dark side of him taking some control of his soft side. fear and passion can be felt at the same time by you. “I bet you wanted it even before coming in here, didn’t you?” he asks, not seeking any answer to his questions – he just loves to talk in order to make you weaker each moment before him. “thought about it, planned it, wanted to make me wanna use that mouth of yours with the way I like most.”

he was right – he knew you more than you knew yourself and when words left his mouth, you came to the conclusion that you did it all on purpose all along the moment he looked at you with an angry expression and left you in there and still, letting you go after him no matter how he was angry with you. the bond you have is a complex one, both you and he knew it; him being what you need fully and you being his blood – the only taste he finds amusing to have.

“then, I will make your dreams come true,” you look at him with hope but his smirk only grows wider and darker, “In my own way, of course.”

oh, shit – you thought, he was going to do it roughly.

taking a little back, he looks down at your body, making you close your thighs together but he stops you, putting his legs between your thighs, opening them wider as you go back a little, palms behind you – on the surface of the bed, head raising up. “wider.” he commands, the voice turns into something that gives chills down to your spine as you open your legs wider – wide open that he can look at right into thighs, watching how the suit cling to your body fully, leaving lots of specific parts of your body visible to his eyes – another thing you did on purpose before arriving into his room.

“good – “ he says, “good girl.” so, he begins to use pet names now, well, it is a sign that these are the times he still acts soft before turning into a beast.

“miguel,” you try to say before his hands found your breasts over your suit, gripping them with his big hands. you can’t feel the warmness of his hands though and it only makes you want more, to feel him closely, not over your suit and not when his gloves are still on, “please. let me – let me take this off.” you point to the suit, hoping he will let you before it continues to give you half pleasure and half annoyance.

“huh,” he chuckles, playing with your hardened nipples, squeezing them not so gently. “did you believe I would be – nice enough to let you get pleasure so easily like that? oh, how delicate of you,” he kisses you again, biting it again. you sure he will leave a few red marks on there. “to think that I will be soft tonight.”

he then goes back, standing with his all glory, taking his hands back to put them on the lower part of the suit, and before your mind can make a comprehension of his actions, he opens his zipper, freeing his half-hardened thick and long cock right into your shocked face. saliva begins to appear on your half-open mouth when you see it. your hand makes an attempt to hold his cock but he is faster, gripping you from the wrist, tightly. you look at his face, “not hands. mouth.” he is not smirking or teasing no more, he just stands there, waiting for you to use your mouth.

“c’mon, open it,” he orders, and you listen to him without wasting any time, opening it widely enough but still, he is bigger than you can take. however, it isn’t like he used your mouth before – gently of course, but now, it doesn’t seem so gentle. “yeah, like that. a cock dumb – I will make you a cock dumb.”

you already are – just for him. however, you can’t tell it when he gives a few strokes to his cock, making it hardened and put it right into your open mouth in an instant, making you choke on his cock.

“m- mi – guel!” your voice is blurry as you close your eyes when he makes you take it all as much as you can.

“can’t speak freely when you have my cock in your wet mouth, huh?” he smirks again, taking his cock back, leaving so much salvia on your mouth that even a few of them connects your mouth with his cock, dripping into your suit from there and you only can cough in pain. pain – it is what you get a minute ago but still, you want to take it again. so, you look up at miguel’s face – satisfied expression on.

“again,” you say, confident of yourself. “I want it.” then, you open your mouth wider than before, leaning closer to his cock enough that its tip touches your lips from time to time as he strokes his length.

he chuckles, a little surprised by your words. “you are already a cock dumb for me, don’t you? fuck – I want to ruin you without even making you suffer. but, it should wait,” he puts his hand on your cheek, caressing it and then, moving to your back hair, pulling it roughly, earning a low growl from you which he enjoys – always. “I need to fill up that mouth of yours first fully.”

he nods to you and you know what you should do. firstly, you let your tongue slide on his cock from tip to the end, even giving a few licks on his heavy balls, making him growl – coming like melodies into your ears that you keep licking more and finally, you take half of it, trying to get used to it but miguel has other plans with you – rough and harsh ones; he holds your hair, pushing you forward. his cock touches the back of your mouth and you literally begin to cry in pain, choke on his cock, gasping, you try to take breaths but it is so hot – he is so hot.

salvias appear in your mouth, dripping from your lips onto his cock, making you move easier than before and you know he will not stop until he cums, so, you let him have his way with you; holding you from the hair, pushing your head forward and backward rapidly – roughly, moaning as he looks down at your pathetic face, his cock disappearing inside your wet eager mouth, earning beautiful sounds from you too.

holding his thick thighs, you try to find a source to stay still, not to fall into the ground because of the impact of him – fucking your mouth without thinking about the air you need, the pain you get, blurry vision because of tears running from your half-closed eyes to your cheeks, finally finding their places on his cock.

“m – mi –!” words can’t go out of your mouth which is getting used by miguel.

his gloomy eyes found yours, and the sight he sees makes him go deeper, want to remind you that silly actions and talks mean no good for you, not when you use them against his, even if they only have a purpose to be in a state like this, but apparently, you didn’t wait for him to be this rough. he didn’t too. nevertheless, he is having one of the best moments of his life.

“aw, it hurts? too bad. you’re gonna keep taking it until I’m satisfied,” he says, closing his eyes again as he throws his head back, feeling your warm mouth and lips around his cock. your nails scratching his thighs. “you gonna make me cum hard.”

and you do. it doesn’t take him any longer when you begin to moan in pleasure rather than pain, sending radiations to his cock, hands hug to his wrists, and you literally bounce on his cock. his hands hold you from the cheeks.

moaning, leaving a few growls, he says, “fuck, fuck – so good, so fucking good – !” and he cums into your mouth.

he stays still for a moment before looking down, seeing you look at him too. his one hand leaves your cheek while the other stays to caress it. he slowly takes his cock back from your mouth, letting all his semen stay in there too. when he takes off, you close your mouth, gulping a few times in order to leave no semen to go wasted, not after he gives you all.

breathtaking voices come from both of you. hotness spreading through your veins, keeping you warm. he says, “open your mouth.” you do, opening it. he nods in a satisfied manner.

your chest raises up and down while you are taking deep and rapid breaths to calm yourself down and miguel’s fingers find your eyes, cleaning tears away, getting softer.

“you look so pretty now,” he says, kissing your forehead, “but you will look prettier when you have my cock buried deep inside your walls doll.” he gives you a smirk and you realize it is not over – you're not even close to it.

“still wanna make me regret my words?” you ask, smiling, knowing damn well this is going much better than you think.

“no, not at all,” he shrugs, “I just want to put you in a position that you forget what you were having regret for.”

to be continued.

[waitmyturtles]

THE MORNING AFTER: ONLY FRIENDS, EPISODE 7 ("YOU GOT TO KNOW WHEN TO HOLD 'EM / KNOW WHEN TO FOLD 'EM") EDITION

Whew, baby. Well, I found this episode particularly brutal.

I've been noodling this week on the following theme: the mundanity of toxicity. The everyday-ness of bad in people. I think this episode captured this well (cc @lurkingshan, @neuroticbookworm, and @bengiyo, who all got a little preview of this thinking).

But I caught some other themes in this episode, too, which I'll quickly hit and list:

2) The elements of life, and 3) Gambling.

As a devoted meta writer, writing about Only Friends is hard. Because: I want to think that there's a lot more to what I'm seeing. I am certainly missing cinematic references that Jojo and team are making (I haven't watched Queer As Folk, for instance). Mew's face popping out of the bathtub? That has me wondering if I'm missing a cinematic reference there.

But at the same time, I wonder if by just observing the Only Friends crew, that I'm picking up on enough. When I was in my twenties, living in New York City, going to college...I was still trying to figure people out. I was absolutely SURROUNDED by people, and I couldn't help but think, everyday -- what is it that makes these people tick?

And I found myself regularly shocked at how mean people were. Very often, I'd just be like -- what the actual fuck, why are you trying so hard to be a massive dick? And, who knows -- maybe people were thinking the same thing about me.

That was when I was young. I just -- I didn't know that much about people. Really, what I didn't know -- and what I really NEEDED to know, and what I learned about myself in that decade and the next -- was how to manage myself around anybody, so as to preserve myself from any unpredictable pain that might come from someone else. In other words... I needed to fucking grow up.

Part of that self-management was trying on identities. Could I fake being a stronger person? Sure, I definitely tried. I tried with clothes, with new slang, with trying new activities, with drinking. That's just normal for a lass in their twenties.

The Only Friends crew -- they are assholes. Many of them were trying on change a couple of weeks ago. Mew experienced a HUGE identity shift during this episode.

But what they all embody to me, in this moment in their lives, is a kind of everyday toxicity -- a self-absorbed perspective, so tunneled internally into each and every one of them, that none of them are realizing that the energy they put out is colliding and having effects on others.

Like -- it's kind of shocking and twisted to watch. But when I think about it, when I remember what it was like to be in a huge city and to be in college and post-college: there's a part of me that remembers being CONSTANTLY surprised that people were just massive jerks, everyday, and again, who knows -- I think people likely thought that I was a jerk, too, for thinking of myself and leading myself with my life.

People, most people, grow out of these stages, as they get older, get more experienced in their years, maybe get more political in their dealings with others. I can't condemn this group of university students fully, as I hold hope (I'm a mom, damn it) that they'll grow into more fully robust and empathic people. But they ain't there yet. I'm not sure my turning stones gives me more insight to them than in relating to my own experiences as a former twentysomething. It has me thinking, as someone who loves turning those stones in my beloved dramas.

That all being said. Those two other themes in this episode have me thinking -- the elements of life and gambling.

We saw Mew play with fire (fucking finally, my man). And we saw lots of water -- water in the pool, water in the tub with Sand and Ray.

Water puts out fire. Mew tries to fake-drown (lol) Boston in the pool. Later on, Mew lets Boston know that he (Mew) can take Boston down, but won't. Mew is trying to control the fires that he's lit, and the ones that have already been burning.

My question to Mew is: do you know how to do what you are doing, or what you want to do?

I don't quite think so, and I think that "Welcome to Las Vegas" shirt he was wearing at Boston's house indicated as much.

(Uh, first of all, chain life, Book! MORE, MORE!)

Mew has decided to become a gambler. Let's think of all the metaphors! Mew has decided to roll the dice and possibly move past the pass line. He's decided to play his odds. He even STACKED his odds -- going to a new gay bar, enticing Drake Gap, going back to Gap's place, stealing the sex tape from Gap's computer, threatening Gap with reporting him for a crime, going to BOSTON'S HOUSE, TALKING TO BOSTON'S DAD, showing Boston the copy of the sex tape, THREATENING BOSTON, MAKING BOSTON BEG, showing MORAL SUPERIORITY OVER BOSTON, throwing the flash drive at Boston, and walking away. Like, if that were a metaphor for actually playing craps, first of all, lol, the pit guy would check Mew's ID, get him a players' card, and encourage him to move to the high limits room, being like, WHAT is this motherfucker DOING, but we want him doing more of it, he'll make us more money -- once he starts fucking things up.

Mew's trying on a new identity. He already was on the road to it, getting that LASIK for Top. He's just continuing to move forward with it. He's going to play with nastiness, but still try to come out on Top.

Trying on new identities. It is so normal when you're young -- I did that. Trying on what fits for whatever reason you are feeling at that moment -- if you're rebounding, if you're healing, if you're bored. Mew is embarrassed, maybe even ashamed, maybe even regretful that his first relationship ended up as a failure.

And now he's figuring out how to recover -- by taking a gamble, and playing with the exact same mundane, everyday nastiness that he's seen in everyone around him.

P.S. Ephemerality and permanence? That fire burned the memory that Top tried to create with Mew (cc @twig-tea and @lurkingshan here). And, gambling? SO ephemeral. Buh-bye, money and pride. Ray switching back and forth between Mew and Sand? Ephemeral crushitude. (SAND. SMDH. I KNOW RAY'S DAD SAID SOMETHING TO YOU, BUT STILL, SMDH.) Nick turning on Boston. Boston begging Mew to hold back on the permanent impact of the sex tape on Boston's dad's career.

And the ephemerality of movement: the clothes in this episode said it all. Las Vegas, NYC, Stanford. These young folks can just... disappear if they want to. And they just might.

(G'DAY, EPHEMERALITY SQUAD! @ranchthoughts @slayerkitty @distant-screaming @twig-tea @neuroticbookworm @lurkingshan @clara-maybe-ontheroad @thatgirl4815 @chickenstrangers @wen-kexing-apologist)

[yumizcorner]

All in~

Skz Ot8 x Reader

!!fem reader | gangbang | creampie | filthy smut | dirty talk | pet names (daddy etc.) | Oral (f and m rec.) | cum eating | degradation | squirting | everything else I forgot to mention!!

A/n: i tried my best to write this and I hope y‘all like it

„hey y/n…how are you?“ the guy on the phone asked. „I‘m good…how come you‘re calling so randomly?“ I asked him since it was 00:20am on a Sunday. „Oh well…I just wanted to check up on you“ he said and I could hear that he was nervous. „come on hyung you lost the bet so you gotta ask her.“ a voice in the back whispered wich made me chuckle. „Come on Chan whats wrong?“ he exhaled deeply and then talked again. „you know…it might sounds weird but me and the other guys thought about…well…you know…“ i sighed. „What Chan? You guys thought about what?“ I kinda lost patience on him since we already were in a call for 5 minutes now.

„Me and the members saw a video somewhere wich we found…interesting so we thought..“ He was getting nervous again so another one of the boys shouted from the back. „we wanna fuck you.“ I could hear 6 shocked inhales after he said that. „Please what?“ I said with a slight amused smile on my face since I found it funny. „Lee know is right.“ suddenly my face freezes. I thought they were joking. „Wait..all eight of you?“ i said in disbelief. „We know it’s much that we‘re asking for but we thought asking wouldn’t hurt anybody.“ I let out a small giggle. „Y‘all can stop playing now I was shocked already.“

for a few seconds,that felt like half an hour,nobody said anything. My mouth ran dry as I noticed. „You guys are playing aren’t you-?“ I asked with a blank face. I heard Chan clearing his throat before speaking up. „well we aren’t…b-but it’s okay if you don’t want to.“ he said in one breath. „I don’t really-“ before I could end my sentence I got interrupted by Chan. „You know what…just forget about it. We‘re sorry that we disturbed you. Sleep well.“

Before I could speak up again he ended the call. I just sat there in silence and tried to realise the situation.

After a few more minutes I came back to reality and decided to just go to sleep.

I woke up at 2pm the next day. I got ready and went to the city. I decided to visit the boys later on. Maybe but only maybe I also decided to accept the boys offer.

I told me best friend Yuna to come with me. I wanted to buy new lingerie for that day since I wanted to look as pretty as possible.

(just imagine any pretty lingerie you like. I couldn’t find any that I liked)

Once we were done with all the shopping we hang out a bit. „You really wanna get railed by eight man?“ she said while she drank her iced coffee. „Yuna- I-“ it’s not like she wasn’t right tho but I felt kinda weird when she said that. I mean it’s not that usual am I right? „Aren’t you afraid that they….yk…rip that wap apart?“ she said and took a sip of her coffee. I choked on mine and started to laugh. „Omg Yuna Stop.“ i said in disbelief and kept on laughing. „I trust them with all my life so I’m pretty sure they won’t do anything that I wouldn’t want.“ I said in a serious way. „I know I was just joking. And I also know that you know what you’re doing so I think you‘ll have a fun night tonight.“

Yuna went back home when it was about 8pm so I walked a few minutes with her until her way and my way were different. Nervousness started to take place in my whole body as I stood in front of the door wich belongs to the dorm of Chan and the others.

It felt like my heart stopped beating for a second as the door opened revealing Hyunjin. „Oh- hey y/n“ he said,sounding a little confused. „Hey Jinnie…could I come in?“ he nodded and stepped aside. I walked into the dorm and walked behind Hyunjin who took me where the other boys were. As soon as we arrived at the living room,everybody looked at me. „Hey“ I said blankly. They all greeted me and told me to sit down. We sat there in silence for a few minutes,only the voices on the tv making noise. God damn why is it that akward. „So why are you here?“ Jisung asked,desperate for an answer. „I bet she‘s here because she‘s accepting our offer.“ Lee know said giggling,with a smile on his face. „Minho!“ Chan said with a scolding tone. „h-he‘s right…“ I said looking down at my fingers while playing with them. „Really?“ Chan asked in disbelief. The other members just stared at me blankly. I nodded and could hear Lee know giggle again. Suddenly I could feel someone lifting up my chin. I looked up and looked into some brown eyes wich belonged to Lee know. „why would we waste more time hm? I think we should go to my bedroom and take the others with us. What do you think pretty girl?“ he asked while his lips were dangerously close to mine and his fingers still under my chin. I nodded in response since I was too stunned to speak up. „Use your words pretty girl. You should talk as long as you’re able to.“ he kissed me suddenly for a short moment then he left my lips again and looked into my eyes again. „I-I wanna go to your bedroom with the others.“ I managed to get out of my mouth. Lee know smirked and said „good girl.“ he backed up and picked me up from my seat. I squealed a little out of surprise. Minho took me to his bedroom while the others followed us. He placed me on the bed and kissed me again,this time way more passionately. After a few second I could feel someone’s hand resting on my inner thigh. I gasped a little as the hand went upper and made it to my clothed cunt. Minho started to kiss my neck,leaving marks wich also allowed me to look who’s hand was touching me.

Surprisingly it was the youngest who started to please me. „Can I?“ he asked softly with a smile on his face as he wanted to take off my clothes. „Of course.“ I said and helped him a little. Minho and Felix took off my upper clothes. Jeongin started to eat me out while Felix and Seungmin kissed my breasts. Minho was still marking up my neck. I moaned as Jeongin inserted one finger into me.

„we‘re gonna make you feel good tonight y/n.“ Lee know whispered into my ear. I looked around the room,searching for the others. They all stood closely,watching us.

„She tastes so good~“ Jeongin said. „And she feels so tight.“ Jisung hissed at his comment and unbuckled his belt. He wanted to touch himself but Minho stopped him. „Let y/n do that for you.“ he turned to me. „Will you help our little sungie out?“ he asked and I agreed. Lee know changed places with Jisung and sat down on a chair. Han didn’t really know what to do since he stood there like he‘s a lost child. „Sungie?“ he looked in my eyes as I continued to talk. „Don’t be shy. You can use me…I’m yours tonight.“ I started to lick around his tip since I wanted to help him a bit. He didn’t seem to be uncomfortable it just felt like he wasn’t really sure about if I wanted to do this. Jisung whimpered a bit as I took him fully into my mouth. Suddenly I could feel something big entering me wich caused me to moan around Han‘s dick. At this point he lost his sanity and started to fuck my throat while I tried to discover who fucked me. It didn’t take Han too long to cum since I kept on moaning. Once he came into my mouth I swallowed and showed him my empty mouth. „shit you’re so hot baby~“ he said and smiled. I turned my head and saw that it was Chan who slowly pushed into me. „Finally“ he said and bend down to face me. „now you‘re mine.“ he started to thrust roughly into me,making me moan. He laid his hands on my throat and started to choke me. He kept on thrusting roughly and fast. I felt like I was going to lose my mind any second. I felt like a moaning mess and I was one. „Fuck she‘s so tight.“ Chan groaned. „She looks so fucked out even tho you’re the first one that uses her.“ Changbin said. I don’t know why but I had to moan at his comment. It perhaps was because he said that Chan is the first one to use me. It did something to me. „God she clenched around me.“ Chan said.

„oh look at that…our little innocent girl is a cute precious slut.“ Lee know said. „Are you our slut? Come on say it for us. Tell us how slutty and dirty you are y/n“ I stuttered as I tried to focus on his words. My mind was foggy and I couldn’t seem to be able to think of words I could say. „awww is channie fucking you too good? You like how he‘s railing you?“ Hyunjin said while he sat down besides me. All those words that Lee know and Hyunjin said made me go insane. I felt how my first high build up and how amazing it made me feel. Chris fucked me harder with every single thrust wich send me over the edge. „Daddy~ fuck fuck fuck~“ I said as i came hard around Chan‘s cock. This also made him cum deep inside of me. I could feel how his seeds spilled into me. He thrusted a few more times and then pulled out. I could feel my pussy throb at the lost contact wich made me whimper.

While I tried to calm down from my high I felt someone teasing my clit. I opened my eyes,revealing Seungmin. He rubbed his dick against my entrance,spreading his pre cum on it. I whined as I wanted and needed more. „D-don‘t tease me Minnie please~“ Seungmin just laughed at my comment and pushed his tip into me. He hissed and then pushed in further. „gosh you feel so good.“ Seungmin said as he moved in and out. He started slowly but lost his control after a few thrusts.

Suddenly Hyunjin forced my mouth to stay open and laid his fingers into my mouth. I instantly started to suck and lick them while looking in his eyes. „She looks so adorable like this.“ Jeongin said and the others agreed while they all watched the scenario. „Can I cum inside you princess?“ Seungmin asked while fucking me sloppily and chaotically. „y-yes“ I managed to get out of my mouth while Hyunjin‘s long and slim fingers we‘re still in me. He forced his fingers into my throat and watched me closely as Seungmin came in my cunt,being the second one to fill me up. Hyunjin pulled his fingers out of my mouth and messily smeared the spit that was left on his hand onto my breasts.

After that he stood up and looked down at me. „will you suck me off just as good as you sucked my fingers?“ I looked up at him and smiled before removing his clothes hungrily. I gulped a little when I saw his hard cock in front of me. He was very big wich made me worry but I was too horny and fucked out to think of anything. I kissed his tip and then started to take him into my mouth. He thrusted a bit into my mouth wich made me even more needy. I sucked him off fast and messy but it seemed like he liked it since he groaned a few times.

I gasped around his cock when I felt someone entering me again. The way how they just used me when they wanted to,without asking turned me on so much.

I looked to the side and saw Changbin who entered me slowly. His dick was way thicker then the others I had so far. He stretched me out so much i felt like he was gonna rip me apart. Before I could look back to Hyunjin myself,he took my face and forced me to look at him. „Don’t take your eyes off of me.“ he looked at me with a serious dominating gaze that made me even more wet. He started to deepthroat me at the same time that Changbin started to move inside of me. „oh my god guys look at that.“ Jisung said and pointed at my throat. „Ahw baby~ sad that you can’t see yourself right now because you look too pretty with my cock lining out in your throat.“ I moaned around him wich made him hiss again. „Fuck Baby~“ Hyunjin said and gripped my hair with one hand. He held my head with the other and started to fuck my throat. Tears started to run down my cheek but I enjoyed every single second of it. He came with a moan and I swallowed instantly. Hyunjin sat down on a chair and rested while I was now focusing on Changbin.

„I wanna ride you please~ can I?“ he smiled at my request and said „anything you want.“ he picked me up and sat down while placing me on top of him. I sat down on his dick and started to move up and down. It hurt a bit but I couldn’t care less. All I wanted was to please Changbin. Out of nowhere somebody pushed my upper body down onto Changbin‘s. A few seconds I felt something poking my ass. „Relax baby~“ I heard Jeongin’s voice. I tried to do as he told me and relaxed as good as I could since Changbin‘s cock was still inside of me. Jeongin prepared me with two fingers and then entered me with his dick. He moved a few times until I told him it was fine. After I said that,Changbin also started to move again. Jeongin thrusted into me from behind while Binnie thrusted into me from under me. At this point I became a moaning mess again. The only thing I felt and could focus on was how their cocks were basically destroying me and how I enjoyed it. „she‘s even taking two cocks at the same time well.“ Jeongin smirked and kept on moving. I screamed and came loudly while both we‘re fucking me through my orgasm. The overstimulation caused me to moan again and louder. After a few more thrusts Changbin came,followed by Jeongin. They pulled out and laid me down on the bed again. I breathed heavily as I was calming down. „You think you can handle one more time baby?“ Lee know asked softly. „Yes yes yes. Please Lee know I need you.“ even tho I wasn’t really sure if I could make it I still needed him. I was craving him. „Are you sure? I‘m not sure~“ he said teasingly and lined his fingers through my wet folds. „Please Minho. I‘m begging you please. Please fill me up with your cock please I need you. Use me please.“ Lee know scoffed and spitted out a "pathetic" before entering me completely without a warning and moving instantly. I started to scream out my moans and gripped onto the bedsheets besides me. Lee know thrusted into me roughly and hard at the same time. „How can you be so tight even tho you got fucked by someone guys? God you‘re such a good slut.“ he laid his hands onto my hips and laid my legs onto his shoulders,hitting me deeper. It caused me to come already since it was too much for me to hold in but Minho didn’t stop. He kept on trusting at the same pace wich made me start to cry in pleasure. „you like how I’m fucking their cum into you y/n?“ I just moaned loudly at his comment. He made me feel so good that I started to drool. „Feels so good so full so big~“ I mumbled since I was fully out of my mind. „oh yeah dirty slut.“ he slowed down his pace and thrusted harder. I let out a scream at every single thrust he did. I looked to the side and saw Felix who jerked himself off to the whole scenario. Lee know also noticed and told him to come closer to the bed. „Cum on her face.“ Minho said blankly. Felix nodded and kept on jerking himself off. As soon as he started to moan louder I opened my mouth and stuck my tongue out wanting to taste him. He came with a groan and spilled his cum into my mouth and some onto my face. I closed my mouth and wanted to swallow but Lee know interrupted me. „don’t swallow got it?“ I nodded and kept it in my mouth while he kept on railing me. „You‘re such a pretty slutty fuckdoll it’s insane“ he praised. He hit my sweet spot one hard time wich made me cum again but this time way more intense then the other times. My mouth was open wide,showing off all the cum that was in my mouth mixed with some of my spit. „Holy shit she squirted.“ I heard Chan saying. I couldn’t even think wich was why I just laid there moaning with my mouth slightly opened only feeling Minhos hard thrusts. „You‘re so dirty fuck~ you look like a disgusting whore with that cum leaking from you’re mouth~“ he said and thrusted two last times. He came while gritting his teeth and closing his eyes. I could feel him spilling a lot of cum into me. „You filled me up so much~“ I muttered under my breath. „Oh my god she’s so fucked out Hyung.“ Jisung said. Minho pulled out and gave me a kiss on the forehead.

„Guys get something to clean her up and make sure that y‘all are free tomorrow we will take care of her…she‘ll need it“ Lee know said and gave me one last kiss on my cheek. „You did great y/n we‘re all so proud.“

[metalnecklace]

There Was Heaven In Your Eyes

Pairing: Javier Peña x Reader (plus size)

Word Count: 647

Warnings: none in this chapter

Notes: Welcome to my new fic! This is my first time writing for Javi, I hope I can do him justice. I’ve been wanting to write a Pedro character for a while and absolutely loved him in Narcos, so I figured why not! I do have Spanish in here (with translations right after when I feel they’re needed), but I am just learning how to speak it. So if there’s anything that needs to be retranslated or adjusted please let me know! I will also be posting this on my AO3 under the same username.

Summary: Reader has left her home country suddenly, finding herself teaching in Bogotá. When she ends up becoming a nanny for the Escobar family she isn’t sure if it’s any better than her life before. A certain Agent seems determined to help her, but will she let him?

Javier Peña is in the thick of finding Pablo Escobar, but ends up finding someone else. Will he let her be the one to break down his walls?

Masterlist

Prologue

The night was sticky. There was no other way to describe it. It was the type of night where Javier’s skin was on fire as it came in contact with the rolling condensation on his glass of whiskey. The drink is his usual, taken dry unlike the air he took into his lungs as he reminded himself to just keep breathing.

Things had been getting tougher when it came to catching Escobar. Javi’s nights stretched longer until they were no longer moments laying wide awake and restless in bed, but were instead short breaks of sipping alcohol to soothe his nerves until he went back to it.

Steve still tried to go home, even if it meant he was just waiting by the phone in the hopes that Connie would show him grace. Even when Javi didn’t feel he deserved it. He had seen firsthand the way Steve had started to slip into the habits that Javi lived day to day. Hidden flasks, reaching for his gun instead of his reason. But at the end of the day Javi had to admit that Steve was still the better person, the bigger man.

Javi downed the last of his drink, no longer feeling the burn that he used to. He longed for it some days, wishing that he had something to ground him.

He scrubbed a hand down his face and let out a sigh from deep within his lungs. His finger itched for his pack of smokes when he felt the stretch in his lungs. With his back aching he leaned down and grabbed what he needed out of his jacket pocket and placed a cigarette between his lips, feeling more comfort as he brought the lighter to its destination than he had since his last smoke.

“You really gotta lay off those things,” Steve’s voice rumbled from behind Javi. “Gonna slow you down even more.”

Javi had jumped after hearing Steve, not expecting anybody in the office at that hour.

“Fuck you,” he retaliated, twisting to face the taller man who waltzed to the opposite desk. “What’re you doing here? Thought you went home?”

Steve sighed and buried his face in his hands once he sat down. “Connie called, told me to hurry up and do my job so I can come home.” He raised his head, causing Javi to notice the dark circles contouring his bloodshot eyes. Since when did Steve look so burnt out? Javi shuddered to think of how he looked these days. “I figured I might as well get back to it.”

Javi puffed on his cigarette and exhaled, following the smoke up to the lights before looking back at his partner.

“There’s not much going on here,” Javi started, “if you did wanna get back home.”

Steve shook his head and reached for some of the files on the brunettes desk. “Nah, not like I need to do much there, anyway.”

The two men worked in silence together. It was comfortable, with a certain tether of understanding that not many others in the DEA respected. Javi loved to push Steve’s buttons, but at the end of the day he had really come to love working with him.

Silence was broken when Steve suddenly stood and moved to Javi’s side in three strides. He put a folder down over top of the one Javi had been sorting through and pointed his finger at a name with a snap of skin against paper. The folder was containing names of people Pablo had helped get fake passports. Most had already been done away with, almost all Javi had heard of. All except for the name Steve’s finger pointed at.

“Javi, we found it! Someone we’ve overlooked.”

Javi narrowed his eyes before looking up at Steve. “Well? Who is it?”

Steve lowered his finger on the page to where it showed their occupation.

“The nanny.”

[bugslaststraw]

Oh yeah. I'm tired and feel a bit out of body from morning to night dance moves pat and immfeelingalright right now but I had an idea about why Murdoc got like that with 2-D to begin with. Like yes okay I understand that once the stone is kicked down the road there's no way of stopping it; I always accepted that Murdoc was just never gonna be normal about him, but I also can't... Recall any one moment when we were ever told why, like. Why.

Why what? Why everything, why the core question at the centerpoint of everything, why is Murdoc so fucking angry with him all the time. Cos it sure as Hell isn't because he hates him; we're way beyond that now, and we know that that's a lie and most likely always has been. But Murdoc really likes Noodle too, she's his kid after all, his little girl, and he's never treated her the same way even remotely. If the reasons why he's always bullying 2-D is simply "well he's a control freak and gets affection mixed up with beating people half to death because that's what his dad did so he does this to everyone" then why doesn't he ever act this way with anybody else?

Well, the reason I accepted up until now is because Noodle and Russel can't be pushed around as easily. You try to hit either of them and they hit you back way harder and you crumple to the floor like a sack of wet rags. Obviously the logical next move after that is to try to suck up to them instead so you can get them to at least tolerate you, and maybe decide to stay and not set off the ole' abandonment issues as bad. Russel states at one point that 2-D is the only person Murdoc can reliably win a fight against, presumably because he'd never have the idea to swing back. It's not that he's that weak or whatever. He's just, well. Not a fighter.

I had another idea though. A real devious one, this one. Evil shit cooking. I'm an angst wizard where was I going with this

Ever notice how when Murdoc opens up to someone emotionally it's somehow always 2-D? Like, without fail? Okay, sometimes he has full scale mental breakdowns and opens up to Literally Everybody (see; Pirate Radio) because lord knows he isn't very good at keeping secrets, or at pretending to be cool. But also remember that comment he makes about making 2-D dictate his autobiography during, like... YouTube comment section impromptu QnA, space between Song Machine and Cracker Island, I believe. We never got that autobiography. We probably never will get it to be honest. All I remember is 2-D broke his fuckin hands writing it all down.

And, okay, time to beat the same dead horse again, I'm about to bring up arguably some of the most infamous 2-D Moments™ in GZ history but behold;

the other two times. I'm not sure how to put this objectively. Whenever Murdoc ends up crying and spilling his whole tragic backstory in someone's arms it's, like, 2-D 90% of the time. Coincidence? Gods no 2-D is just the person who's around him the most. Because he can't leave. He's also just more... Compassionate and forgiving. At the risk of making him sound like a dumb little baby again #let2dsayfuck he's been shown to be very empathetic and quick to forgive and all. If someone's having a mental breakdown, you try to comfort them. Isn't that how it works? But Noodle is too practical (and doesn't deserve to deal with her own shit father's mental breakdowns, trust me, speaking from experience, it sucks ten times more when it's your parent, especially if they do it often, you do NOT wanna parent your parent it's the most unfun experience I've had period, and I think or at least hope and headcanon that she's resilient enough to go no I am not dealing with this why are you crying get the fuck off the floor) and Russel possibly too mad at Murdoc to even get himself into this situation, so if there's any one person in the band you *want* to be crying in the arms of, it's probably 2-D, right? At least if you're Murdoc.

But. That's a bit annoying, isn't it. You slip up one time and suddenly you wake up the next morning and realise that this... This little fucking twerp has suddenly got immense power over you. Last night you took a Floor Pill off the dance boards of a shady nightclub and it made you think you were legitimately dying, and he was the only person technically in the band at the time, and you'd only first met him a couple weeks ago, but he was the person to go looking for you. Nobody's ever really done that before. And then he tries to help you, shit, he even gets on his knees on the pavement to help peel you off it, and you can't recall anybody ever being that kind to you in your life, and you break down completely, and you cry and hold onto him so hard he complains you're gonna break his spine and you make him promise to never ever ever leave you et-cetera. And instead of going "fuck off man" and disappearing into the night like everyone else you've done this with he actually does promise. Which has also never happened before. And then you wake up the next morning and have to deal with the fact that, on pure god damn accident, you gave that skinny little fucker your whole heart, and you can't take it back.

What's worse, 2-D doesn't understand the weight of what's just happened. Nor does he understand it the next time, or the next time, or the time after that. He doesn't think he's special, he doesn't understand what he's got and that you can't take it back. He's not malicious. He's not laughing at you. He's just confused, confused and very, very open. He's practically parading around your biggest secret like it means nothing.

And don't get me wrong: Murdoc is fine telling people about his past, in fact he seems to like it; he tells Cass Browne about his childhood so he can put it into Rise of The Ogre. He slips in that bit about the lunch lady iykyk as a joke, mid-interview. It's not about the backstory itself. It's about the emotional distance he has from it. And when you're fresh off an acid flashback I don't think you've got any emotional distance from it at all.

2-D doesn't connect the dots at least not until specifically Song Machine If Murdoc thought he was special he wouldn't be hitting him, right? He probably isn't even in the top ten of his favourite people. That's why the times where he's suddenly so familiar, and on top of that so vulnerable, just confuses him. He tells the story about the strawberries as a "weird thing that happened on tour," and the subtext (which we can quite easily spot from an outside perspective, like, come on,) flies completely over his head.

Can you imagine being Murdoc, and reading that interview after it was posted? Skimming through 2-D's synth article in the G-mag while editing because it's probably just stupid anyway, missing the bit about the acid flashbacks, and only noticing it two months later and everybody acts surprised you even care in the first place?

I think if I was Murdoc and I accidentally laid bare the depths of my soul (got a normal amount of vulnerable) and the mother fucker I did it to just started telling random people about it I would become the Joker immediately.

[nakanotamu]

Rossy got fired from stardom??????????

LMAOOOO I was just about to post "lmao Rossy got fired" and then I saw this yeah apparently he got fired after the show last night. I never got around to writing that post about the management issues so I guess I'l try and summarize some relevant points before people panic

Okay so Rossy was off of booking since some time last year. We don't know for sure but my guess is that All Star Grand Queendom was his last show as booker, based on the belt going to Tam apparently being his decision and the timing of when stuff started to fall apart very shortly after that.

He was highly critical of the last president (who had been booking) once that guy got fired - and the issues with him were more than just booking. This was the stuff Giulia talked about. Like the schedule he booked was way too grueling on the wrestlers with non-stop big matches & shows back to back to back, and he would book matches just out of the blue without paying any attention to the stories the wrestlers were trying to tell, where Rossy's style was to just let the wrestlers throw out story threads themselves and then book what he thought would sell out of what they wanted to do. He also just was an idiot and didn't seem to think particularly highly of wrestling in the first place, pushing tons and tons of product tie-ins and advertising shit and the fucking NFT shit and. Yeah he sucked

However despite being highly critical of the last guy once he was gone, Rossy also said he didn't comment on the decisions he was making. He also may have been the one who decided who won or lost in the period before the new president came in, but from what's been made public at least, as soon as he came in he took over, so Stardom since whenever that was like the start of December has been the new president in charge.

So what I'm trying to say is, at least creatively, this probably isn't actually a huge change for Stardom compared to the past roughly a year of the product. People freaking out that the booker is just suddenly gone, he apparently hasn't been the booker for a while already now anyway. If you didn't notice a change in booking twice last year you probably won't notice this either.

So, yeah, Rossy did get fired. Bye bitch, it would be nice if this meant Sonny is on the way out too. Rossy is absolutely fucking not the guy who saved joshi wrestling or whatever the fuck narrative he & a lot of western wrestling media have been trying to present him as for years now. This probably isn't going to lead to a massive shift in Stardom's booking compared to what it's already been for months, and just as a fan we have no way of knowing what else this is going to impact, because it's hard to tell how much influence he even had for the past year, which was admittedly bad but more recently imo showing signs of turning around.

I think it's worth pointing out that one of the things that drove me off of both Reddit and Twitter wrestling fandom is that whenever shit like this happens everybody's gotta be a fucking insider or whatever and we don't. Know. Anything. But further than that it's not our fucking problem. We don't work for Bushiroad and we don't know anybody involved. We don't NEED to worry about what this means for The Business or whatever the fuck because that doesn't matter to us. I care about the roster being treated well and the product being one I am enjoying, and Rossy already couldn't prevent both of those things from not happening last year, so obviously he's not gonna be the difference maker.

My concern if I have one though is mostly the roster. If people are loyal enough to him to start jumping ship that would really suck. If the rumours that are already going around that he was poaching people for a potential NXT Japan pan out in any way that would REALLY suck. Even if the entire roster went I'm not going to watch a WWE product or even a show that isn't women in every match. So I guess as ever all we can do is wait and see.

[katyawriteswhump]

WIP Weekend

Thanks to @medusapelagia for the tag :D You are too kind!

Here’s how it works:

In a reblog of this post or new thread, post up to five (5) filenames of your WIPs

Post a snippet from one of them. Snippet must be words you wrote in the last 7 days. We’re posting progress here. If you haven’t made any, go make some and come back to play!

After you’ve posted, people can send you an ask with one of your file names. You must then write 3 sentences in that file. If the filename is one you can't share from, write 3 sentences on it anyway, and then 3 more on another to share.

That’s it! You can invite others to join in, or just post.

If you’re reading this, you’re invited! If you see someone posting a WIP Game snippet, send them an ask! Make them write.

These are the options:

the freak in the penthouse (steddie au, eddie is an accidental video game milllionaire/steve is a (part-time) sex worker) snippet below!

dragon's pet (steddie, third instalment of my dragon's hoard series--subby steve/occasional-dragon eddie)

tree-shifter fic (harringrove bingo, honestly, if anybody asks they are truly brave because I am a truly weird person and my writing gets even odder)

no upside down au lifeguard fic (harringrove bingo)

Ask away... if you're brave.

A little snippet from 'the freak in the penthouse' chp 2

“Hey, should we put music on?" asked Steve. "Or do you wanna jam? You know, I kinda dabble myself from time to time… uh, you okay?”

Eddie had finally got up. He took two paces across the room and yanked the guitar from Steve’s grip. “Nooooo music.”

“Is that some kinda rule?”

That teeniest smile again. “Shouldn’t you be telling me your rules, Steve? Like how much is a ‘party’ with you gonna set me back? Not that I give a rat’s ass, but…”

Another internal facepalm. Steve had intended to be upfront about that. Then again, it was the first time he’d negotiated for himself. 

“Okay, so you want me to stay the whole night?”

Eddie shrugged. Up close, his dark eyes were intoxicating, sucking Steve in, which was probably why he said, flustered: “Two hundred bucks, okay?”

You were gonna quote four! If Kline comes sniffing, he’ll have at least a hundred off you.

Eddie nodded, laughed. The air reeked of vodka. As well as the weed. Steve pressed on:

“Rules. Okay. Nothing that leaves any marks on my skin. Got any weird kinks?”

“Not right now.” Eddie started fiddling with his rings, suddenly squirmy. “Nothing other than a hankering to sleep with a really cute guy.”

Steve blushed like an idiot, and his heart gave a crazy leap.  What the fuck? “And we gotta use rubbers,” he said.

“Obviously. Anything else? Like, do you kiss on the lips?”

Steve snickered. “You watch too many movies, Eddie.”

“Not much else to do, stuck up here with cable. So, you do kiss on the mouth?”

“Sure thing.” 

Truth was, Steve had been hungry for Eddie’s soft-looking lips since that first merest hint of a smile. He edged forward so they stood pretty much nose to nose. He slipped a hand to cup Eddie’s jaw, and plastered his mouth enthusiastically to Eddie’s. Eddie gave a surprised grunt, not yet parting those enticing lips. 

Steve panicked. Shit, too much?

Then Eddie plunged his tongue straight towards Steve’s tonsils and they started kissing for real, and… Wow! 

It was some kiss.

Chapter one is now up here on ao3. Might post on tumblr later not sure... sort of nervous about it :P

[h00nerz]

h00nerz 1k celebration!

˚⁎⁺˳. ⊹ wowowowow we did it!!! thank you so much for 1k followers!! to celebrate, i am going to be hosting a oneshot game! below i will list the rules as well as some prompts you can use to send in! thank you again!!

RULES!

⊹ i will be accepting requests for mostly txt members, though you may also request enhypen or nct (maybe skz too) members and i may accept if i have enough inspo

⊹ to send a request, please send me the idol of your choice as well as a number from the prompt list. you are also welcome to include some plot points you would like to see, feel free to get as specific as you’d like!

⊹ i don’t write smut, pregnancy or any super dark themes so don’t ask please

⊹ if your request doesn’t inspire me, i might not write it.

⊹ please be patient and nice!! if you’re rude or try to rush me, i won’t do your request.

⊹ UPDATE : please send more hyuka and soobin requests pls pls pls pls pls i’m not accepting anymore for anybody except for him

PROMPTS!

i used this post and this post to come up with a list!

1. “shit, i think i’m in love with them.”

2. “i could never say no to you.”

3. “they would be so mad if they found out.” “fuck ‘em.”

4. “i’m tired of having to pretend we hate each other.”

5. “why are you crying?”

6. “i wish i met you sooner.”

7. “i told you not to fall in love with me.”

8. “let’s not go back. not ever.”

9. “i’d shout it from the rooftops if i could.”

10. “you know i only tease you cause i love you.”

11. “you’re cute when you’re jealous.”

12. “we should compare hands. y know, science.”

13. “you’re lucky that you’re cute.”

14. “i just wanted to make sure you’re okay.”

15. “you feel like home to me.”

16. “how about a kiss before i go?”

17. “you always see the good in people. even me.”

18. “let’s go somewhere. just you and me.”

19. “we’re a team.”

20. “i’m not ever leaving you.”

21. “don’t listen to them.”

22. “i love you. every single thing about you.”

23. “i’m not blushing. i don’t blush.”

24. “friends kiss each other, right?”

25. “i was sort of hoping you needed me. is that selfish?”

26. “i want to deserve you. i’m trying to deserve you.”

27. “just let me look at you for a little bit.”

28. “i never realized how much i needed you until you weren’t there.”

29. “look at me.”

30. “is this what you think love is?”

31. “i didn’t know where else to go.”

32. “you don’t mean that.”

33. “i can’t pretend anymore.”

34. “you’re all i can think about.”

35. “i am so very in love with you.”

36. “it’s you. it’s always been you.”

37. “i cannot stand you, and yet, i cannot fathom being away from you.”

38. “you are everything. everything.”

39. “no one will ever come close to you.”

40. “you’re so cute when you’re half asleep.”

41. “i’ve kind of been in love with you since we were kids.”

42. “you don’t have to pretend around me.”

43. “all i want is for you to look at me the way you look at them.”

44. “can i convince you to stay?”

45. “close your eyes.”

46. “i really want to kiss you right now.”

47. “everyone else might be buying it, but i’m not. what’s wrong?”

48. “don’t change the subject. i saw you crying.”

49. “i can’t get you out of my head.” “…thanks?”

50. “i feel weird when you’re around.” “do you have a fever?”

[34saveme34]

thinking about 3 and him making friends

I don't know how everyone handles him but 4 is definitely not the only one who cares about him

also I wish they showed it more but Meggy definitely considers 3 a friend

Mario also cares about 3 in his own way

He gets along well with Bob when they both want to

he can be nice to Boopkins

we don't see him with Melony which is a shame, they should touch on that more ugh

but yea like Idk the idea that 3 is isolated in 4's grasp to justify the idea that 4 could be abusive-

Sure, he revolves around 4 but it's not really fully his fault, they're cosmically assigned as a pair so like, the fuck can he do but make the most of it?

Like I'll say, he's definitely not fully integrated in the friendgroup and he still has a lot to work on in that regard but he's far from having only 4 as his friend

I think it's just rather that HE thinks that but like he doesn't even know if he should cuz his stupid ass is constantly scared, got them trust issues

You know who has that problem though but doesn't appear a lot so we don't think about it too much? Kaizo. Bro only really knew Saiko and like, that's all we really know of him besides like being irresponsible as hell

but we didn't really like, see him bounce off with anybody else

3-Meggy bouncing off works, similarly to how honestly 4-Meggy works, it's the competitive shittalking kicking in with both, although we saw less of it, since the 34 dynamic really took over

I bet Kaizo could have a great dynamic with someone other than Saiko but he doesn't get enough screen time for that

anyways I'm still fucked over the whole 34 thing. There's so much of them. I don't know, if their whole gay little thing is gonna forever stay a bit and nothing more, it's- gonna get boring real quick

like you can try and dangle the treat in front of us, the animals, but at some point after waiting for it long enough, we'll grow bored.

But really, it feels like such an odd writing decision to focus on them so much if they're just meant to be a bit and they don't want to progress their relationship further. Like it's not like that's what people prefer. Sure, there's a minority who would want only that forever but then it's just pleasing a tiny crowd which could drive others away. It just feels like it wouldn't worth going through so much trouble with them all for that

Like if they just wanted to keep it a silly bit, they shouldn't. focus on it so much. Like, logically if they put so much emphasis on them and tease the hell out of us with things like the end of wotfi23, forced hold hands, elevator, the god damn titanic scene, squidbob34, Perfect, them bitches always being next to each other, like you'll find them mostly next to each other in most scenes they're present in

like, logically, LOGICALLY, this shit's supposed to become more than a god damn bit. Why would you put so much in a ship, the actual like, majority of your fanbase doesn't really care as much about (see: that one youtube ship popularity poll on another yt channel) and some (although a minority) even despise and call the idea of making it canon the end of the world

I am just, you know, left wondering, what the hell is it for- if not for them to make it fuckin canon at some point?

Honestly, I think I said it before, maybe not publically but I'd find it really fun if wotfi24 somehow drove them to be canon

not like as an arc thing, just a fun thing yknow.

but then again, this pair has been a thing for a really long time now

like it makes you think about like, what would even be grand enough to match them, the anticipation that is if those 2 could ever get together, what could match that?

Or would it become like the Puzzlevision movie where it's like, it's fine but still kind of weak. Like sure, but, eh, I expected it to be more cool and like making the wait worthy

then again it would be really funny if they didn't make them canon on camera, we'd just see kiss them in the background while other characters get focus. Like Idk, maybe some random characters we don't see enough, getting together in 3's cafe and like. In the background we see 4 walk over to the counter and very clearly kiss 3 and then them talking. But like they aren't the focus so imagine people actually missing it LJLKLFFL

imagine being a shipper, missing the scene and then losing your shit when people post screenshots of them kissing and you have to go back and check and lose your shit even more

Idk I'm just rambling at this point

[tamblrtrain]

feel like someone's said this already but jimmy absolutely feels like he's cluster b. i'm saying this from a semi-detached pov bc i've not talked to anyone i knew for sure was cluster b but from listening to. a lot of theramintrees. and also given jimmy's larger than life personality he really bridges on being cluster b.

i get anybody saying he has a sort of superiority/inferiority complex because he absolutely does. but it's so drastic that it really does border on cluster b. specifically i feel like it's aspd but npd and bpd can be argued.

i'm going to reiterate that i do not know anybody with diagnosed aspd nor am i a psychologist or psychiatrist. i also do not want to portray the idea that i hate cluster b people. i just hate jimmy who i think exhibits cluster b symptoms. i'm also a fucking nerd up at midnight. and i'm flipping between tumblr and a wikipedia tab abt aspd so there's that. yapping under the cut.

hoo boy okay. this is really complicated. first off looking at the diagnosis bit of the wikipedia article where they cite the dsm, jimmy fits under more than enough traits (the dsm lists 7 and requires at least three be present)

failure to conform to social norms and laws: this one is the biggest stretch and i can't really cite anything in the game for it, but if you find something that genuinely isn't a stretch, i'd love to see it.

deceitfulness: genuinely look at him and tell me this doesn't fit. he tricked daisuke several times to his gain and daisuke's loss every fucking time. spiked cocktail? yep. the fucking vent? jesus christ.

exhibiting impulsivity or failing to plan ahead: man he fucking crashed the tulpar because he didn't wanna deal with the consequences of his actions. he forced himself onto anya and then nuked the ship because he forgot things happen after you do things.

irritability and aggressiveness: anya. curly. swansea. genuinely there are too many instances for me to name one. he assaults curly while administering the painkillers. he yells at anya for daring to ask him to give curly painkillers. the whole 'shoot swansea so you don't fucking die' sequence. there's so much i'm going to be sick.

reckless behavior that disregards the safety of others: crashing the fucking tulpar!

irresponsibility: one of the major themes in mouthwashing is taking responsibility and the way jimmy goes about doing that is genuinely horrible.

lack of remorse after hurting or mistreating another person: do i even need to explain this? he doesn't spare any thoughts for anya. he thinks of her as a fucking womb and nothing else. do you call that remorse? i fucking don't.

now. i don't know shit about jimmy's childhood but just considering 6 of 7 are already exhibited well enough it's kinda easy to see. it's impossible to know for sure, but jimmy's behavior is well enough argument in my mind. you can absolutely disagree with this ofc, i'm just saying what i think. and you can argue about jimmy being something completely different, i'd love to hear it.

personally, though, this is just my take on him. i think he's likely to have aspd. this will not affect the way i write him, this is just me trying to understand his character a lil more. if you have different thoughts or even just want to explain, please yap to me, it'll help me string together my thoughts better. yapping over