#well growing up watching this man holds 100% of the blame)
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Cesar Cielo (Olympic gold medallist, 6x World Aquatic Championships gold medallist, 50m freestyle World Record holder for 15 years and counting) swam his last Olympics in 2012, and spent Paris 2024 not in the (Olympic) pool, but as a TV Globo/SporTV commentator and Brazilian social media darling.
Bonus:
#braziliansource#brasildaily#swimming#cesar cielo#brazil#i have no idea how to tag this#DO YOU KNOW WHEN THE LAST TIME I'VE GIFFED SOMETHING WAS??????? WELL ME EITHER!!!!!#going through my tags i can find ONE pair of gifs. from 2013.#i have no idea what possessed me. it's 2am and i'm about to enter the 2 busiest weeks of my year tomorrow morning#and i still have to dry my hair and clean my bedroom#he just makes me insane#(you know how i said swimming is one of my fav things to watch in the olympics??#well growing up watching this man holds 100% of the blame)#anyway i though maybe i shouldn't post this rn bc of the time but i posted the medina video even later and it made 1k so *shrug*#c: swimming#p: cesar cielo#e: olympics 2024#kinda#brasil tag#mari edits
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Halsin and abandonment issues
One thing I've come to conclude about Halsin's character, based on many parts of his story and some lines he says, is that he might have abandonment issues.
To begin with: he lost his entire family over the years to accidents and disease, per his writer. That's the kind of thing that leaves deep scars- watching everyone you love fade away over years, until at a "comparatively young age" you're the last of your family and turned over to the Druids to be taken care of. (His writer didn't specify an age, but if he was young enough to be "turned over to the Druids" instead of "finding his way there" then it is likely he was not an adult.) There's no time to lose your family that isn't absolutely horrible, but as a young person is far, far worse.
Then there's Halsin's other traumas, all of which involve isolation; he was a prisoner for three years in the Underdark, and despite this, no one thought to come looking for him to save him. He lost most of his fellow Druids in the battle against Ketheric Thorm and the Shadow Curse that followed- and what few didn't die, he still lost their friendship to his leadership position, the "weight of responsibility". His one lasting friend in all of this, Thaniel, was lost to the curse and Halsin spent over 100 years blaming himself, fighting to be the best leader he could at the Grove, and having no one at all he could lean on for any of his burdens. And then he wound up kidnapped again, this time by the goblins, and when he returns, almost all his Druids have been turned against him, some even holding him in contempt. All experiences that are isolating in nature and reinforce to him that he can't rely on anyone else, that he is the only person he can depend on, and that in the end, everyone he cares for is going to leave or die.
It's not just speculation that he feels that way, either. He has several lines about his survivor guilt and isolation:
"[...] there is a burden to being the survivor... the witness to others' tragedies. It only grows heavier with time."
"[...] Grim as it is now, it was worse on the day of the battle. A vivid wound upon my memory. I was lucky - I lived, when so many did not. It would take me a day and a night to recite the names of all the friends I lost."
And lines that indicate he's used to being left, too.
If the player rejects him after he wildshapes (emphasis mine):
"Ah, I see. Well, of course. Back to camp then."
Saying "of course" implies it's not entirely unexpected.
After the final battle, if the player declines to have a celebration and says the party should split up:
"It was always destined to be so, if we prevailed. But the foreknowledge makes it no less bittersweet..."
He was expecting the party not to stick together.
Similarly, if a love-interest player breaks up with him in the ending:
"I see... After all my years of living, I know all too well that nothing lasts forever. Yet a parting can sting, nonetheless. But that just means what we shared was precious, and will live on in my memory. Thank you - I am a richer man for having met you."
The "nothing lasts forever" really sells it, to me, especially because the context makes it clear that he isn't just making a general statement- he's talking about relationships and people. Again- he was expecting it all to end.
His worry in the epilogue, when a solo-romanced player comes to the party with him, hints at this even more: "You could have done anything, gone with anyone... yet you chose me."
He's surprised that the player, even if they're in love, would want to live with him and share his dream. He can't believe they really wanted that- he even says that he keeps expecting to "stir from the dream".
I feel like that shows a lot about how Halsin feels after all the loss he's endured- he doesn't ultimately believe anyone is going to stay with him, whether because they choose to leave him, or because they'll die.
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what made/makes you fall in love with Akutagawa?
list as much reasons as you like!
asking out of curiosity. no pressure ask!
also please don't hold back anything if ever :DD
Hello friend!! Thank you for such a lovely ask!
Man, loving Akutagawa was such an experience– I imprinted on him as soon as I saw a video on tiktok, but that was like, a moment of interest only. I knew nothing about him other than his design was sick, so I had my eye on him before I gave Bsd another go.
Thing is, I had started Bsd like, three times, and every time I'd dropped it, because the first two episodes made me want to tear my hair out XD. I was not used to this kind of anime, to be honest; the tone and the characters threw me off. I gave it one last try because my friend swore up and down that Soukoku was like- an incredible ship. So I, like a good and intrigued friend, started it again, with great determination.
Akutagawa did me in instantly.
From the moment Kunikida showed his picture to Atsushi, I was like, "You have all my attention, I am listening, I am present, tell me more." And then he showed up, and like, introduced himself to his enemies?? With that soft voice of his?? Looking like the babiest baby to have ever babied??
I kept watching to see him again. And then, we got the scene where Akutagawa goes to meet Dazai in the dungeon, and boy, I already disliked Dazai 'cuz he was annoying, but once he did my boy like that?? I was like, "Well, I'm gonna love him then! Since you're a stupid asshole who can't see how great he is!"
And then it just– spiraled. I started liking him out of spite because I really disliked Dazai from the get-go, but the moments that I really started liking Akutagawa for real were small? When he apologized to Higuchi as soon as he woke up, when he admitted to himself that Atsushi had a point in "people need to be told they're worth something," when he told Kyouka he's happy for her, when Atsushi threw the fact that Dazai left him right at Akutagawa's face, but Akutagawa accepted it with grace, acknowledging the truth–
It takes an incredible amount of strength and bravery to be as honest with oneself and with others as Akutagawa is; he has a will of iron, an indomitable spirit that will shine even in the greatest dark. Where others would hesitate or run, Akutagawa will stand tall and fight, regardless of consequences, regardless of how difficult it is. And I don't mean just a physical fight– Akutagawa does not run when things get hard, it doesn't even occur to him as an option, he does not hide. He is 100% himself at any given moment, which is so admirable.
I don't understand how one can dislike Akutagawa; even as a villain, he is not cruel and he is not malicious. His life so far has greatly warped his view on things like death, and pain, and morality, turning him into violent man, but if Beast showed us anything, it is that just a tiny bit of kindness would have been enough for him to learn that there was value in living. He is blindly stumbling his way into a set of morals because no one took 5 minutes to straight up tell him there was more to life than survival. It took Beast Kenji all of one afternoon to teach Akutagawa that just because bad things happened didn't mean the good parts weren't just as important, if not more.
Akutagawa is such a special character to me, I hold him so dearly in my heart, because despite the amount of tragedy he has gone through, he blames no one and nothing, he rues no one and nothing, he has the dignity to accept everything that happens, and strives to grow in spite of life trying to beat him down and keep him there.
The only one who can beat Akutagawa Ryuunosuke is himself.
#bsd#bungou stray dogs#bsd akutagawa#akutagawa ryuunosuke#bsd ask#i love him so much#he deserves everything#his personality is everything to me#he is so strong#bungo stray dogs akutagawa#akutagawa will stand in front of god and say “no you move”
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Hello! I saw your tags on my post about Ossan’s Love Returns and just wanted to pop in and give you a little background on jbl that you might find helpful. It’s a misconception that all jbls are broadly comedic or done in an anime style. That’s certainly one popular lane of Japanese media, but there are many others!
I actually wrote a post with a suggested list of jbls to try to get a sense of the different styles and tones they do well, and I bet you’ll find something on here that’s more to your personal taste (https://www.tumblr.com/lurkingshan/736506298254884864/japanese-bl-starter-pack). And in my experience, a lot of that discomfort or inability to connect with a different country’s style resolves itself naturally through familiarity; the more of it you watch the more you’ll understand the cultural communication norms and rhythms, and it will open you up to enjoying and appreciating so much more. No country’s media is just one thing, and you really do have to be open to trying out a lot of stuff before you can know what you might enjoy. Maybe give it a shot!
Thanks for taking the time to send an ask, I have seen the post and I pretty much watched all the ones on there, I have also watched anime before (i have a few sitting on my hardrive just waiting for me to have the necessary spoons and spark to watch them), and it's true not all of them do have that style of humor i was generalizing a bit (my bad).
I have found a way to connect to some of the characters (and relationships) the way I usually do, like with Tanaka-kun to Amagi-kun or If it's with you and with His the movie (which I really enjoyed). And the Pornographer series which I re-watch often. I did also really enjoyed My Personal Weather Man and Utsusii Kare. I am also low-key a little bothered by how little some of these boys/men/adults are even allowed to hold hands (I do get why this happens, it's not their fault or anything, not blaming them at all, I am not neceserally talking about NC scenes, more just some of them just rarely touch or hug at all and it feels a bit weird, I come from a very touchy family and a low-key touchy culture so it is something I have to always keep in mind while watching)
In general when I say I have a hard time connecting to characters in jbl is more that while I understand what is going on and the emotions being presented to me I feel more external to them in a way that doesn't always elsewhere, it is 100% a me thing and the way my brain watches media weird. I have had this problem with other media not just JBL, some western media has left me like that too (sense8 is one, I struggled with that one, still haven't techincally finished it). And I have been watching western media in english for so long I even feel that way with Italian Media more often then not.
The humor thing is also a me thing, it took me ages to finish avatar the last airbender because i could not get pass the s1 humor given to aang (i didn't watch this growing up, I was an adult when I first came across it). I always I have a hard time with humor, of any kind of any culture, the best kind of humor for me it's the kind that I don't notice, meaning the unitrusive kind. The only times I laugh more then usual with media is when I am watching specific comedy specials and that is it. So honestly this is not on anybody but when someone says this thing is really funny i get this automatic hurge to back away slowly. I have a very weird relationship with humor.
#ask#lurkingshan#i am deeply weird (not deregotory just fact)#thanks for the ask#i do understand why people connect to jbl more especially if you value a good narrative and a tight plot
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Greetings Siblings of the church. Unfortunately, four more of our number was drastically cut short last night. They found them in Papa Primo's garden. Mountain's been sad and depressed all day- not about the dead siblings, but because the person who'd killed the siblings had taken the extra time to basically go on a rampage through the garden. Everything in it was destroyed. Mountain and Papa Primo had spent hours making sure that garden looked pretty, and now it had been razed to the ground.
The siblings are growing more terrified as well, and I've heard some whisper about transferring to lesser churches. Siblings, we will find out whose doing this, and whose causing us to live in Terror. The Papa's will protect us. Don't worry or be scared.
Mist was acting really weird this morning, and wouldn't let me come near her. She left me in Phantom's room- I was dragged here against my will last night, I haven't slept in my own room since like, last week I feel like :(- and when she came back, she had Omega with her. They quietly spoke for a couple of minutes, before Omega asked Phantom if he could watch over me today, as Mist was 'sick'. He then asked Aurora if she could help him with Mist. Mist didn't look sick, but the way she wouldn't look at me, and her cheeks were bright red, I think there's something more going on.
Phantom agreed though, and then Omega kicked us both out of the Ghouls wing. He told me I could reenter in about three days, and that it wasn't my fault, Mist was just really sick and they didn't want me to catch what she had. Phantom then said that Swiss had Rabies and he wasn't sure why they care now about me getting sick from anyone, but from the glare Omega sent him, something was going on. We headed to my room after that, and asked Phantom what was going on with Mist. He told me she probably started her rut and didn't want me around. Made sense- if they're like animals, and fuck anything that moves, it's wiser if I'm not there. We ran into a few of you nicer siblings, and I made sure to quell your fears, but I don't think it worked. I know you all were- are still terrified of something or someone running around here and ripping up siblings- brother, sister, or sibling. It's terrifying.
I changed my clothes in my room- although I did pack a bag so the next time I didn't have to come all the way back there- and we went to my office. There... We found the fire ghoul that everyone's been looking for. He was shuffling around my papers- not making a mess, but enough that I would notice someone's been in my office. I cleared my throat, and he instantly growled, stumbling back to the wall. I could feel the heat radiating from him- it was nice and cozy, to be honest.
When he noticed it was me, he calmed down, and called me Pandora again. I told him my name was Cardinal Dante, and he was in my office, and what the hell was he doing in the church while there was currently a man hunt in order to find him and send him back in the pit for killing those people. He looked very confused. He asked what the hell I ment by killing the people. I told him that there'd been people found, handprints found, and people were dead, and they were blaming this on him, as Sodo had alibis every single time one of the murders had happened, and plus, Sodo wasn't the one to brutally murder siblings. That was Rain, and even then, he drowned them.
Ifrit told me he hadn't been in the church since today. He'd been traveling around trying to find out how to cut the bond between him and Papa Terzo, but he hasn't found anything, so he'd been breaking into offices to find more books. He hadn't killed anyone apparently. I believe him. Like 100% believe him. If he was really lying... I asked him if he really was lying or not, and he told me he wasn't, taking a paper out of his pocket and holding it out to me. Phantom snatched it from him, and handed it over to me. On it, book names were scrawled in messy hand writing. Some, I knew. Others, I didn't. Most of them were about hypothetical bond breaking, and how to get rid of curses.
Phantom asked if we were going to trust Ifrit-, and I said yes. These books- well, the bond breaking ones- were in the Papa's personal library that I've been to only once. The others were in the regular library. I told Ifrit to follow me- if I could get him to Phil, maybe Phil would believe me? I grabbed his hand when he started lagging behind and dragged him the back ways to Phil's office. He was very, very warm, and his hand felt very nice in mines. Was this how Sodo felt everyday? I know Rain and Mist were freezing all the time because they were water ghouls. Maybe Fire ghouls always ran hot??
I just open the doors to Phil's office, and it was like he was waiting for us. He took Ifrits hand before giving him a hug, mumbling something in their language before shoving him twords another door. Phil thanked me for bringing Ifrit there, and asked if I belived the rumors. I told him I didn't, and that while I was still scared of Ifrit, he didn't seem like he wanted to kill me. Phil stared at me for a long time, before nodding and sending me out of the room. He told me to come back later if I wanted to check on Ifrit, and I told him I'd keep him to that promise. I went back to my office and cleaned up from what Ifrit had done before getting started on work. I wrote down the few things about Ifrit and the rumors before diving into my work. I want to talk to Mist badly about everything going on, but with her rut going on, I won't be able to talk to her at all. Hopefully it finishes up soon so we can talk. I miss her.
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I have some hard things to confront this morning, of the type that necessitate pulling out what I not-so-lovingly refer to as "the trauma notebook." The presence of that notebook and its associated loose papers are probably the reason I haven't been able to properly clean my desk in... 4 years now.
It's easy to blame that particular mess on ADHD. I've always kept a messier desk than most because of the way my mind works (or doesn't). But this? This is not just the ADHD.
God... it's almost been 4 years. It'll be 4 years next month.
Well, in any case, getting out that notebook this morning, I found some torn out pages from some other notebook stuffed in there. I don't remember writing this, but it's 100% me. It's a journal entry. July 1st, 2021.
This is not what I need to face this morning. I know it's a distraction. A delay of something harder. But revisiting it does remind me of some of what is important to me. It gives me strength.
That cedar is gone now. It's only me and the cherry left here, but I did visit home in the summer since I wrote this. Twice even! I got to say hi to all the relatives I'd been missing so deeply, and even start the process of reconnecting with others that I'd never met.
That has been so healing.
I am strong because of the beings in my life. I can do this.
I CAN do this.
Even though I wrote this journal entry never intending to share it, I'm sharing it now because this morning it gave me that tiny bit of strength when I need all the strength I can find.
------------------------
July 1st, 2021
We talk about a tree falling as if it were a singular event. “When a tree falls in the woods…” But trees don’t do anything quickly, do they? I’ve been watching this cedar out my window for five years now, and something is definitely not right. Every storm it leans a little heavier. I can almost hear it groan, tired of holding up its own weight. I can relate.
It seems like I’m always tired these days, like the weight of this life grows heavier each day I’m stuck here. I miss home. I miss the trees.
Now, a lot of people say that. “I miss the trees.” But I don’t think I mean it the way most people do. They mean camping. Or hiking. Recreating. But when I say it, I mean, “I miss my family.” I miss my dad and my older brother. I haven’t properly chatted with my older brother in a decade. It’s hard to chat when that old maple is always asleep, since I only visit at Christmas.
My new family here is small: an alley stand of cedar and one cherry. Except something is definitely Not Right with the cedar. I remember the way my dad talks to the trees—not like I do, not at them, with them—and I wonder what the cedar would tell him. What burdens does it carry that grow heavier every day? Is it looking for help? A way out? Would my dad take it down?
My dad’s a logger, you see. Or he was? Logging is a young man’s career, and while he held out in it far longer than one could expect, that phase of his life is over now. Over, but never gone. So I guess he is a logger still, in that way. Is and always will be. But not one of those white man loggers that prides themselves on bigger machines and an “efficiency” that really means speed and totality of harvest. He’s the kind that walks the forest and listens. He hears the complaints of the trees, makes the hard calls. He always seems to know better than anyone which trees are suffering, which trees are falling in that slow, silent way that trees fall for years before they come down.
He never taught me how.
I never learned to hear the trees. I can only talk at them, not with them. But right now, watching this cedar, I think I hear it. “The city’s too loud,” it says to me. The harsh pounding of construction, carried down through steel and concrete to soil and root, it’s too loud, and the tree is going deaf. The hairs on its roots are dying, like the hairs in our ears, and without them, the tree can’t find water. It’s dying of thirst in the rainy city, all for want of a newer building.
But maybe that’s just projection. I don’t have my father’s gift. I wish I did, but I’m so far from home now. So far from the trees that knew me. And here, soon it will be just me and the cherry.
“Next spring, I’ll spread your babies,” I promise. I hope she knows what she means to me.
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daydreams' marvel rec list!
wooo! we just hit 200 followers? it's only been like 2 weeks since 100, and i'm so grateful people have decided to stick around and read with me!
of course, i would've never started writing (fanfiction and in general) without having read some of the most incredible works on this site, and i'm here to present to you 22 of my favorite fics!
no smut is included, but there may be suggestive themes. please read the warnings on each individual fic! :)
literally, just check out each individual account, all of their fics are incredible
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
☺ fluff ☹ angst ☝ humor ✰ series
bucky barnes:
under oath ☹ ✰ @ugh-supersoldiers
-> the world needs someone to blame for the deaths that hydra facilitated for decades, and the target is on the back of the former winter soldier. the case is going to trial, and seemingly the guilt ridden bucky barnes can’t care less about the verdict. (lawyer! reader)
for the love of the game ☺ ☹ ✰ @pellucid-constellations
-> bucky barnes was a menace. NYU’s top baseball player, he was used to girls falling at his feet and could smooth talk his way out of just about anything. you hated him. he couldn’t figure out why. so when the novelty of weekend parties and quick hookups finally wore off—and his feelings for you began to grow—he made it his mission to fix it. (college athlete! bucky)
not happening ☺☝✰ @notimetoblog
-> an online dating site clearly makes a mistake when it matches you with the one person you cannot stand. (modern! au)
looped ☹ @softlybarnes
-> you are inadvertently trapped in a time loop without any memory of the last five years, including your relationship with bucky. but bucky would stay in the loop forever, explain everything again each day, if it meant getting to stay by your side.
safe with me ☹ ✰ @bitsandbobsandstuff
-> when an unknown threat enters your life, protection is offered at the highest level. as bucky barnes comes into your life, the game changes, and you realize falling for the man tasked with keeping you safe is the last thing you expected. (bodyguard! bucky x journalist! reader)
better ☺ ☹ ✰ @captainscanadian
-> dr. james barnes has it all: a loving family, caring best friends, and a successful career as one of the best heart surgeons in new york. he has everything he ever wanted his whole life… well, almost everything. one thing he never thought he could ever have was y/n y/l/n. she may have been a lot of things, but he loved her because she made him better. (modern! au)
grumpy sunshine ☺ ☹ ✰ @anonymityisfunwriter
-> you've been in hydra isolation your entire life, and sam is tasked to watch over you. bucky can't understand how you came out of hydra so optimistic and decides he hates you because of it. as you integrate into society, the avengers team, and SHIELD politics, bucky ends up being your biggest supporter. (inspired by taylor swift songs)
café crema ☺ ✰ @wonderlandmind4
-> the first time was an accident. the second time was coincidence. the third time is just unlucky. the fourth time is getting out of hand and the fifth may or may not be with intent. otherwise known as The One Where He Spills Her Coffee. (modern! au)
just one kiss ☺ ☹ ✰ @sarahwroteathing
-> bucky barnes has been chasing after you since he was ten years old, but you’re determined not to give in. how long can you hold out when all he’s asking for is just one kiss? (40′s happy ending AU)
dreamscape ☹ @wkemeup
-> when bucky falls under the spell of a djinn, the line between fantasy and reality blurs. in order to survive, he must fight his way back to the real world - even if it costs him everything he’s ever wanted.
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
peter parker:
far from you (full trilogy) ☺ ☹ ✰ @hey-marlie
-> y/n stark is really not here for this european school vacay because in this post-endgame world, she’s mourning the loss of her dad. but one (1) sticky boi peter parker is just trying to be the friend he once was while also trying not to flirt too much because if she rejects him (which she wouldn’t, not that he knows that) while they’re in venice holy hell he’ll just pitch himself off the gondola right then and there. (stark! reader)
was it worth it? ☹ @kelieah
-> you and peter are married and expecting, and after every mission, you ask him “was it worth it?" each time he would say yes. but as peter begins to neglect his family in favor of his work, he leaves his wife vulnerable. is it worth it?
it’s your voice ☹ ☺ @peteprker
-> after spiderman saves you while you were being attacked in an alley, he walks you home and his voice gives his identity away
the favorite ☹ @softspideys
-> you’re convinced your dad likes peter parker more than you, until he saves your life (stark! reader)
clause 3 of the friendship agreement ☺ @youlightmeupfinn
-> you and peter parker have always been the best of friends, even going as far as to enact a��friendship agreement like idiots. when you walk in, feeling quite touch-starved and desperate for cuddles, you go for clause 3 of the friendship agreement… cuddles.
your boy who is a friend, peter ☺ ✰ @luveline
-> you and peter are penpals from opposite sides of the country, but you manage to fall in love through letters alone.
the baby project ☺ ☝ @vendettaparker
-> when you and peter begin working on an assignment for your child development class and morgan overhears your discussions, she starts to think that you and peter are actually expecting a baby, leading to a lot of confusion and a very pissed off tony. (stark! reader)
sunset lovers ☺ ☹ @duskholland
-> you've never met your soulmate, but you know his handwriting like the back of your hand—literally. every word your soulmate writes on his skin appears on yours, and vice versa. you're desperate to meet him, but until the universe decides to introduce you, you're stuck with scribbled smiley faces and chemistry formulae. (college! soulmate! au)
close to my heart ☺ @peterbenjiparker
-> physical affection has been a part of your friendship since it began years ago, it was only a matter of time peter questioned why he was the only one…on the receiving end of your hugs and kisses.
my reverie’s affinity remains to be you ☹ ☺ @indouloureux
-> in a world where you see ten seconds of your soulmate’s life in your dreams, you already knew that spider-man was your soulmate. but what you didn’t know, was that you’d be vexed to see who was beneath the mask (enemies to lovers)
sleepyhead ☺ @flourgirl
-> peter will try just about anything to help out the very pretty insomniac from his math class.
taglist: (comment to be added!)
@yourallihave @bambamwolf87 @im-a-slut-for-fluff @cowboibeepbeep
#peter parker x you#peter parker imagine#peter parker x reader#peter parker fluff#peter parker masterlist#peter parker fic recs#marvel fic recs#bucky barnes x you#bucky barnes x y/n#bucky barnes angst#bucky barnes fluff#bucky barnes masterlist#bucky barnes fic rec
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Stuck With(out) You - Mob!Tom Smut
tom was having a really nice day until the metropolitan police decided to crash his date. or, when the law finally catches up to london’s most notorious mobster, tom learns that nothing is fair in love and war.
word count ↠ 15k. warnings ↠ angst with a happy ending, alcohol, a car chase, extensive depictions of prison, violence (very minor injury detail), tattooing, pregnancy, bad language, smut! there are extended nsfw warnings below the cut but this is 18+ so minors please do not interact. a/n ↠ this is a work of fiction and is not meant to be taken 100% seriously! similarly to every other fic I’ve written about mob!tom, I don’t condone any of the actions shown in this story and all depictions of the mob and prison are entirely fictional. please do not date members of the mafia even if they are tom holland !!!!! + this fic was conceptualised before the release of cherry, and there are no purposeful links to the content of that film! the image from esquire that I’ve used is what led me down this path lmfao...esquire I love/hate you. ++ the biggest thank you ever to the wonderful @uglypastels for helping me with the initial brainstorm on this one, and for just generally being so supportive as I’ve struggled with writers block :’) I wouldn’t have ever been able to think this up let alone have the motivation to write this without you, so thank you and ily z <3 +++ there is a pov change halfway through this fic! it is intentional and you should be able to see it pretty easily but I’m just flagging it so you don’t think I lost it halfway through ahahha. enjoy!
nsfw warnings ↠ car sex, soft!dom!tom ft minor sir kink, oral and fingering (fem-receiving), multiple orgasms with brief refs to overstimulation, minor pregnancy kink, unprotected sex ft cumshot.
✧ *:・゚Stuck With(out) You・゚:*✧
There’s something wrong with you, and Tom can’t quite put his finger on it.
He wonders if it’s the wine. He’d spent hours debating the type of grape and ideal bitterness, scouring his memory in search of the perfect blend to share with you on your date. Eventually, he’d settled on the same deep red that he’d shared with you the first time he’d visited your flat, back when your love was just a small spark. Three years have passed since then, the nerves of early romance melted away and replaced by knowing and love, but the wine has recurred each time one of you has decided to treat the other, so what better blend to bring along to the picnic that Tom had so meticulously planned?
You haven’t touched your glass, and Tom—for all his confidence and charm—is deeply unsettled by this.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” he asks for what feels like the tenth time, with brows furrowed so tightly his forehead aches. Tom reaches across the gingham blanket to join your fingers together, surprised to feel the clamminess of your skin as you gently squeeze his hand.
You hum. “I’m fine,” you say, voice devoid of any intense emotion. You sigh softly before bringing your eyes to meet Tom’s, and the man feels his heart constrict in his chest. You’re perfect, even with your hair messy from the light spring wind and the nerves that sit across your face. When you squeeze his hand again, and Tom glances down to see the engagement ring on your fourth finger, the ache in his heart sharpens.
He never knew love could be this fulfilling, nor so easy. Breathing is harder than it is to love you.
“Okay,” he replies. “Do you want to go home?”
You’ve been so quiet for the entire date, which is strange because usually, you match his energy effortlessly. Tom has been away for a few weeks doing business in Liverpool, and this date by the river is the first time you’ve been properly alone since he returned. He’d really expected you to enjoy the date—or, on a very basic level, at least look like you want to be here. With your quiet answers, avoidance, and nervous stares, he can’t confidently say that you do.
You shake your head. “No, no.” You fiddle with some of his rings before pulling your hand away from his. As you sit up a little straighter, you turn away from Tom to stare instead at the River Thames.
The river behind you is lit by the mid-afternoon sun and flooded with boats. It’s such a lovely day that Tom almost doesn’t notice the horrible brown tinge to the water. Lining the bank are small groups of people—families, friends, couples, tourists. They all stay clear of the two of you, undoubtedly wary of the security guards lingering near their boss. He rarely goes out so obviously like this, but you’ve always loved London, and he’d wanted to treat you. He’d wanted this to be a nice day.
“You know you can talk to me, don’t you?” he checks, voice catching slightly.
Your eyes snap up to his quickly. “Tom,” you say, voice wrapped endearingly around his name. Moving easily, you slip closer to him, carefully shifting around the food and the glasses until you’re close enough to reach out and touch his cheek. “I love you.”
Tom’s teeth graze his lower lip as he feels you pad your thumb across his jaw. “I know,” he murmurs, dropping his gaze. “I love you too.” He pauses for a few moments, savouring the closeness and the scent of your rosy spritz. He’d missed you so much that it almost hurts to have you so close again. “I know you have something on your mind, darling… Can you tell me what it is? I want to help you.”
“I…” A breathy exhalation follows. You bring your hand away from his cheek and rest it on the red silk material covering his shoulder. He’s in a loose designer shirt, the top two buttons unbuttoned and showing off the silver-linked chain he has hanging from his neck. “Tom, I just…”
“What?”
A small smile twitches at your lips. “Not here,” you seem to decide, voice a little stronger. “I have something I need to show you.”
“At home?”
“Yeah.”
Tom feels the weight rolls from his shoulders. It’s fine—everything is fine. You want to let him in, want to trust him with the cause of your anxieties. You still want him.
“Let’s go, then,” he decides, knowing he’s far too impatient to spend another hour laying by the river. Tom offers you a hand, and you take it. He tugs you away from the picnic setup with ease. He doesn’t need to bother with putting the things away—someone else will do it. Just one of the perks of his job.
“I missed you,” you say, smoothing your thumb over the back of his hand as you walk together towards the car. “It gets lonely without you in the house. Our bed is ridiculously huge without two people in it.”
Tom chuckles. “Good job I’m back now then, eh?”
The noise you release is stacked full of so much relief it makes Tom feel guilty for ever leaving to begin with. As he watches the bright, genuine smile flow across your face when you meet his eyes, he resolves to never leave for business again. Never. Not without you.
“A very good job,” you clarify. When you reach the car together, Tom holds the door open for you, ushering you in dramatically until you’re laughing and making fun of him for fussing. The only way he can stop you from your jovial whines is by leaning across the dashboard and pressing his lips to yours, so really he can’t complain. “This car is stupid, too,” you decide.
“Oh, that’s too fucking far,” Tom murmurs, glancing in the rear mirror as he peels away from the pavement. He’s glad the air between you has lightened. You seem happier now you’ve decided to spill your secrets. He rests his hand on the back of your headrest as he twists in his seat, eyes on the road as he reverses. “This car is a beauty.”
“This car is confusing,” you say, and Tom feels you staring at the flex of his bicep. “I tried driving it when you were gone.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Mmm. Couldn’t even get it up the drive.”
“Well, not to be rude, darling, but it’s hardly fair to blame my beautiful car for the fact that you’re an atrocious driver.”
If looks could kill, Tom knows he’d be six feet under.
“Fuck you, Tom,” you seethe, but your voice is charged with laughter. “I take it back. I didn’t miss you at all. Go back to Liverpool, see if I care.”
Tom cackles. “Maybe I will,” he teases, “just to see how long it takes you to start begging for me to come back again.”
You grumble something incoherent at that, then the words between you lull into a comfortable silence. After a few moments, you shift your palm to rest on his thigh, your hand gentle, warm. Your fingertips trace tiny love hearts over his slacks.
“Don’t,” you say eventually, voice quieter. “Stay this time.”
Tom risks a quick glance to you, growing breathless in the depths of your eyes. “Of course,” he says, voice thick. Tom returns his gaze to the road, his chest feeling tight. “I’m never leaving you again.”
“I mean, you can leave sometimes if you want—”
“No. Never.” Tom’s cheeks ache. “I’m never leaving your side.”
“Alright, Tom.” You sigh lightly, feigning exasperation. “I guess there are worse things than being stuck with you.”
“I’m charmed, darling. So relieved you like spending time with your fiancé.”
You shift in your seat at that, and Tom doesn’t have to look at you to know you’re flustered. You’re always shyer around him when he mentions the fact that your futures are intertwined, almost unbelieving that he’d slipped that ring onto your finger. It doesn’t matter how many times Tom tells you that he cherishes you—you never quite make peace with the fact that he wants to chase the moon with you. That doesn’t mean he’ll stop telling you, though. You hang the stars in his sky.
“I love spending time with you, Tom,” you mumble. “And I hope that what I’m about to tell you doesn’t change how you feel about me.”
His eyebrows raise. “Wait— what?” Tom scrunches the tip of his nose up as he squints in your direction. “Y/N, what—” He pauses, concentrating on keeping his voice level. “Angel, nothing you could ever do would change the way I feel about you. Nothing.”
You smile quietly. “It’s not a bad thing,” you add, almost sensing his unease. “I think you’ll like it.”
“Perfect.” Tom sits a little straighter in his seat. “Then there’s nothing to worry about—”
Sirens cut into his words. Tom startles, glancing in the mirror to see a police car with a whirring blue siren perched atop the grimy vehicle.
“Tom,” you say slowly, voice filling with dread. Your tone sends shivers down his spine. “Did you do something?”
Tom bites his lip.
He’s been trying his best to stay above the law recently, but… Liverpool had been messy. Very messy. He hadn’t intended on things going quite as terribly as they had, but one thing had led to another, and he’d had to fuck a few things up. The crime is nothing as intense as he’s been booked for in the past, but he’d had to write a few irregularities into his taxes and business agreements to smooth over the waters. It’s not as bad as murder, but it’s tax fraud nonetheless.
Tom had thought he’d been fine. Apparently not. He’s been a hot target for the Metropolitan Police for years, and they’ve consistently unearthed every tiny discrepancy he’s tried to get away with. He should’ve been more fucking careful.
“Shit,” Tom mutters. As he brings his eyes back to the road in front of him, he realises the police car behind you has been joined by another two, closing in from side streets and boxing him in amongst the traffic. He swallows thickly. “I messed up.”
You curse. “Idiot,” you mutter. You sit forwards in the seat and start to point to a gap in the traffic, right across the square. “Go there,” you say, voice pitching higher. “If you go fast, you’ll make it.”
He could book it. Tom’s run away before, in situations of peril where the alternative had been the law and escaping would give him the chance to alter some books and clear his name. It would be easy to slam his foot on the accelerator and dive down side streets, dodging the thick London traffic.
“Tom!” you say again, voice stressed with desperation. “Tom, go!”
The gap in the traffic is narrowly closing, the window of time Tom has to zoom through and get to safety shrinking before his very eyes. If he was alone, he’d do it without a second thought, but you’re here.
You’re here, and that means he can’t be selfish. Tom couldn’t ever risk you, not with such a treacherous manoeuvre like the one that you’re suggesting, nor with the repercussions you’d face if he books it. You’d either have to come on the run with him, or you’d end up captured and grilled by the Met, and neither of those options is the types of things he’d ever bring willingly upon you. You would never deserve that, and he refuses to make it a possibility.
Tom slows down the car.
“Tom,” you say, shock filling your voice. “What are you doing? They’ll get you.”
He nods. “I want you to listen to me, very carefully,” he says quickly.
“But—”
“—Darling, please. Please.” Tom stops the car abruptly. He calculates he has mere seconds before the officers ditch their vehicles and start storming across the traffic to haul him from his seat. “Don’t say anything to them. They want me, not you.” He turns off the engine and grabs your hands, holding them close as he stares into your eyes. “Call Harrison. Whatever shit they’re bringing me in for won’t hold up for long. They’ve— they’ve done this before. They never win. We have backup plans for this crap.”
“Tom,” you whisper, eyes welling with tears, “but they—”
“I know. I know, baby. I know.” He presses quick kisses to your knuckles, clinging so tightly to your fingers it’s like he’ll drift away without your touch. “I’m sorry. I am so bloody sorry. I love you so much.”
His throat hurts. The sight of the pain in your eyes makes him hate himself for ever bringing you into this faithless way of life. He doesn’t give a fuck that he’s destined for a cell—Tom cares that he’s hurt you.
“I love you too,” you say. You lean closer, undoing your seatbelt and popping his too as you reach up to cup Tom’s cheeks in your shaky hands. “It’ll be okay,” you stress. “I’ll get you out of there, baby.”
You lean in closer to kiss him, and Tom aches. The scent of your perfume is overwhelming, and he feels fragile beneath the hold you have on his face. The kindness in your eyes makes it hurt even more. It’d be easier if you’d let fury consume you and spend these last sacred moments denouncing him instead of loving him, but of course, you’re not like that.
The car door opens, and Tom is hauled from the car the moment his lips touch yours. Before he can process it, he’s being pushed up against his car, stiff arms keeping him pinned in place. He closes his eyes, firming up his face and shoving down his feelings as he forces himself to dry up, become stoic. He won’t show weakness now he’s outside.
Tom hears you exit the vehicle a few moments later, the crash of the door coupled with a few scuffles. He drowns out the words of the officers whilst they reel off a list of fabricated crimes, smugness evident in their voices. Good for fucking them.
When they eventually release him, he’s cuffed and weaponless, his spirit bent in two. The metal of his car had hurt his face, but nothing breaks Tom’s heart more than the sight of you being held back by two officers, tears streaming down your face. You bring your hands into the shaky outline of a heart, and it’s the last thing he sees before he’s pushed into the back of a van.
*:・゚✧*:・゚✧ *:・゚✧*:・゚✧ *:・゚✧*:・゚✧
Tom’s day goes from bad to worse.
It’s clear that everyone at the station has been waiting for him to fuck up. He’s met with sly smiles and teasing comments as he’s reacquainted with some of his most despised wardens and guards. He’s held in a temporary cell for almost a day and quizzed on the shreds of ‘evidence’ they’d procured from his house during a raid, and though Tom declines to answer every single question they throw at him, their smugness never fades.
He walks into the trial already knowing he’s going to be locked up, and not even the sight of you beside Harrison and Harry on the benches soothes him.
Five years. He’s charged with five years.
Now, Tom isn’t worried. He knows he won’t actually be held in a cell for that long. He’s already had correspondence with Harrison, who’s assured him that he’s working on it, and there’s really nothing much to worry about. Tom has been in this situation twice before, and on both occasions, he’d been released in less than a month. The connections he’s built from his years heading up the mob are reliant and unwavering, and he knows he won’t have to serve even a fifth of his sentence.
The only difference between the times before and now is you, and Tom can only fucking pray that you don’t despise him for dirtying your name with his crimes. You’d been normal before him—a waitress, aspiring painter, an innocent. Despite your insistence that you love him with all strings attached, his guilt weighs him down. He doesn’t give a fuck about the law and whatever twisted loopholes the jury had bought, but he does care about you and what you think of him. That’s the hardest part.
Two weeks pass achingly slowly.
Prison isn’t that bad for Tom. He’s pretty fucking lucky, all things considered. He has friends here—blokes he’d met around town, most of whom are willing to welcome him in. A few of his old guys are locked behind bars with him, unwavering in their loyalty and more than happy to absorb him as members of their group. Those who don’t know Tom know of him. His reputation as a murderous, cold-hearted killer follows him inside, regardless of its falsity. Tom hasn’t taken a life in three years, but these men don’t need to know that.
“Holland! Get the fuck up. You’re in the gym.”
Tom glances up. He’s lying on top of his bed, one hand propped behind his head, the other holding open a book. He isn’t an avid reader like you, but you’d sent him a copy of your favourite book with scribbled annotations in the margins, and he’s been spending every hour since its arrival clinging to the pages.
He sighs as he puts the book down and stands from the lower bunk. He’s in with a young lad, Ollie, booked on a minor drugs charge. Why they’d paired someone on such a minimal sentence with a member of the mob, Tom will never understand, but the fear in the lad’s eyes every time he looks at him is enough to keep his wavering ego bobbing just above the waterline.
“Step away from the door.”
Tom does as instructed. A moment later, there’s a loud buzzer followed by the swinging of the heavy metal door.
In walks Luther, Tom’s archnemesis. If the inmates fear him, the guards despise him, and to be fair, Tom understands why. He’s a bit of a dick when he’s behind bars. Usually, when he’s free, he operates with a level of poise and charm that comes with his position as leader. He speaks to his men with a firm but kind hand, respects everyone he deems his equal and commands supreme authority without becoming a tyrant. However, when he has his freedom stripped away, and he has to bend to fit the system’s will, his attitude becomes… problematic.
“Holland,” Luther barks. A moment later, he appears in the doorway, coughing loudly, cheeks flushed a ruddy red. He snarls at Tom, his voice like jagged glass. “Come on.”
“You alright, mate?” Tom asks. “You sound fucking terrible.” He looks it, too, with a dripping nose and red-rimmed eyes. He looks ill.
Luther’s features sharpen. “Get over here now.”
“Yes, sir.”
Tom swaggers to the door and dodges a little as Luther cuffs him, the man digging the metal into his skin with extra ferocity. They start to march down the long, grey corridor towards the fitness suite, Luther prodding Tom forward with a hand digging into his back.
“How’s your wife?” Tom tries, tired of the echoing footsteps.
Luther sighs. “How’s yours?”
“She’s doing very well, thank you.”
The guard tuts. “Does she like having a criminal for a husband?”
“Does yours like being married to such a wanker— hey!”
Luther pushes him down the corridor with haste. “Quiet, Holland,” he mutters. “I’ve had enough of you.”
“Well, then it’s too bad you’re stuck with me,” Tom replies. “Did you know that if me being here annoys you so much, you could always let me go? That would sort out your problem.”
He barks a laugh. “Yeah? Let London’s most wanted convict escape?”
Tom raises a brow. “London’s most wanted?” he echoes. “Wow.” Pride seeps into his voice. “That’s an accomplishment.”
“Not a positive one. Self-absorbed bastard.”
It’s easy to laugh. Letting the comments bounce off his back is easier than admitting the jibe about you has irked him. Do you like having a criminal for a partner? Even Tom, for all the world has jaded him, knows no sane person would rest well with the knowledge that their significant other has lied, stolen, and killed. It doesn’t lie well with him, and he was born into this.
They reach the gym.
Tom sticks to the same workout regime he has at home. He does his cardio for twenty minutes on the wobbling treadmill, then sits around on the bench press and does curls with a few of the guys. He keeps quiet, his mind loud, only adding a few comments when necessary. His sullenness adds to his image, and he’s busy with thoughts of you. By the time he’s finished, he feels arguably worse than before. The endorphins from his workout are overshadowed by the guilt Tom feels, clawing at his heart, heavy and persistent in its certainty that he’s a lousy partner.
He can handle being a bad guy, but a bad man? A bad brother, bad friend, or bad lover? The opinions of the guards mean nothing to him, and neither does the law, but when it comes to the people he cares about, their opinions mean everything. Tom has let Luther get into his head, and whilst he knows that was the guard’s intention, the seed of doubt has been planted. As he pumps iron, he feels it grow, taking root, blooming taller.
“Holland. Time to go.”
He grunts as he stands. Sweaty and sore, Tom hobbles to the doorway, feeling considerably smaller than he had when he’d left his cell. The cuffs hurt his wrists as his hands are clasped back together, and the walk back feels even longer than before.
“You had a parcel delivered,” Luther says, breaking the silence. “It arrived last week.”
Tom’s eyebrows pull together. “Last week?”
“I thought I should hold it back until you’d settled in,” comes the patronising response. “I didn’t want to overwhelm you with too many new experiences, Thomas. Not that being in here is anything out of the ordinary for you, though.”
He feels his jaw twitch. He flexes his hand, knuckles burning for movement. Not yet, not yet. He has to wait, has to play the long game.
“You’re a dick,” Tom decides. He doesn’t care that he gets thrown roughly into the cell. He trips over the floor and barely manages to scrape himself to his feet, but he throws out a smirking “fuck you,” before the door slams shut. He’d follow it up with more snide remarks, but he becomes distracted by the sight of the parcel sitting on his bed.
It’s neat, despite the obvious intrusion into its contents by the guards. He flops onto his lower bunk, glad his cellmate is absent as it allows him to drop the ruse. Lips sagging into a frown, Tom rips open the package.
He releases a fragile sound as the contents pour across his duvet. Polaroids fall across the sheets, glistening slightly, neat and pristine. A lump comes to the back of his throat as he shuffles through them, finding images of you, Harry, Sam, Tess… The list carries on. For every person he can think of, there’s an image captured perfectly in time. He even appears in a few of them, with his hand around Haz’s shoulder or his lips pressed to your temple.
He finds a note attached at the bottom.
Tom, I thought you’d want some reminders of home while you’re away. We’re all looking forward until the day you can come home to us. Love you forever, Y/N <3
As Tom traces the edge of his nail along the outline of your face, his eyes well with hot tears. You always know what he needs, even when he doesn’t. You know him, inside out, and you’re continuing to support him, despite it all. He is indebted to you, and he knows already that as soon as he’s let out, he’ll spend every second of his life trying to repay that.
The seed of doubt burns away.
*:・゚✧*:・゚✧ *:・゚✧*:・゚✧ *:・゚✧*:・゚✧
Two weeks later, Tom finally gets to see you again.
The prison visiting room is fucking grim. Toned in sludgy shades of grey and brown, it’s about as ugly as it could be. There are window slits pressed high into the walls, but the primary source of light is from the musky bulbs set above each table. The chairs are uncomfortable, and the decor lacks inspiration. Tom often wonders if the room was designed to be as revolting as possible.
Despite this, as Tom shuffles into the room that smells suspiciously of plasticine, he couldn’t be happier. It doesn’t matter that his wrists ache from the cuffs, nor that the garish shade of orange clashes horrendously against his skin: you’re here, and that makes everything better.
You’re sitting at the table in the corner of the room, drumming your fingers pensively over the surface. His eyes catch on the glinting ring wrapped around your fourth finger, and the sense of longing that had settled in the hollowness of his chest is quickly burnt away. Sensing his movements, you glance up, and when your eyes meet with his, Tom feels his heart come home.
You raise a hand in greeting, smiling shyly, and he tries to look as non-threatening as possible. He knows the new buzzcut and the stupid get-up probably don’t help, but you don’t look at him like he’s any different.
As he draws nearer, Tom finds himself blinking a few times, questioning how long you’ve been separated. The version of you he has holed up in his memories pales in comparison to the woman that he sees before him now, but he can’t quite pinpoint why. You seem fuller somehow—vibrant, glowing, alive, your face doused in a heavenly glow and your skin bright with health. Your figure has changed slightly, and Tom can’t stop himself from running his eyes all over you, trying to memorise every tiny detail his memory had blurred away. You look so beautiful, every single part of your form enhanced and bright, and your chest—
Fuck, it’s been a long time.
“Y/N,” he exhales the moment he’s been pushed into his seat. His guard unclasps his cuffs, and Tom immediately reaches out across the table, almost moaning from relief when you wrap your fingers around his. Your skin is so warm.
“Tom,” you whisper. Emotion seeps into your voice, and he feels his chest crack as tears pool in your eyes. “Are you okay? I— I missed you.”
He hums, biting his lip. “I’m fine, baby. I’m okay. Are you?”
You nod quickly. “I’m okay too,” you say. “Things are strange without you, but we’re working around the clock to get you out of here.” You drop your voice slightly. “I think we’re near a breakthrough.”
Tom’s teeth brush his lower lip. “Good, good,” he says. “How’s Tess? And Harry, and the others? Are they looking out for you?”
“Yeah,” you say. You squeeze Tom’s hands tightly. “They’re all okay. Mainly just worried about you.”
He shrugs, trying to lessen the furrow in your brow. “‘M all good, darling,” he promises. “Don’t worry about me.”
Your eyes skate across his face. “I like your hair,” you say gently. For a moment, Tom thinks you’re going to try and reach out to touch the buzzed fuzz, but you seem to remember that anything beyond handholding is prohibited. You have to settle for a slightly suggestive smile. “It looks good on you.”
“Thanks, lovie.”
Your smile is sad but it’s still hopeful. Whatever emotions you’re feeling, it’s clear that you’re trying to smooth them away and keep them to yourself. “There’s something I wanted to tell you,” you say, easing into the words with difficulty. Tom watches as you look away, doubt casting across your face.
“What is it?” Vaguely, Tom remembers how skittish you’d been the day he’d been taken away, the memory distorted from the noise of everything else that had happened. “Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, yeah.” You bite your lower lip. “Uh, just first… how are you holding up in here? Like, actually. Don’t bullshit me and play the tough guy.” Your eyes are wide and persistent. “How are you actually doing?”
Tom blinks a few times. “Fine,” he shoots immediately. He clenches your fingers tightly in his, clinging on for a moment until he exhales. “I wish I could be here for you properly, though. It worries me that I don’t know what’s happening on the outside…” He hates being left out in the dark, but it isn’t your fault. It’s his. “I wish I could be a better boyfriend to you.”
“Fiancé,” you correct, the word soft like it’d left your mouth without thought. “You’re already a good boyfriend, Tom. I knew what I was signing up for. I wanted this back then, and I still do now.”
“Still,” he grumbles. He tries to even out the heaviness of the conversation with a smile. “I think about you all the time, baby. And the others too, but… mostly you. I just hate that I’m missing out on our life together.” He has to stop for a moment as he recollects his thoughts. “I’m sorry that I did this to us, and I’m sorry I let you down.”
You crack a wry smile. “You can’t change the past, Tom. You can only affect the future.” You pause, your expression hardening. “I need to know that you’ll go slower when you get out. I know this is your life, but some things need to change. We— I need you to stay out of trouble. Do you understand?”
He nods his head immediately. “Of course, of course. I don’t ever want to get arrested again, darling.”
You drop your voice. “I’m not saying you need to quit everything, just… get better safeguards and be smarter. I love who you are, Tom, but this…” You break off to gesture around, pointing vaguely at his cuffs, the jumpsuit, and the guards. “This isn’t good for you or for me. And I love you, but I won’t stay if you don’t try.”
It’s hard to hear, but he knows it’s what he deserves to hear. He knows you deserve to stand your ground.
“I know,” Tom says gently. “I’ll get clean when I’m out, Y/N. I promise. I’ll be a good man by you.”
You squeeze his fingers tighter. “You already are,” you promise, “and I love you so much, even when you’re being an idiot.”
He laughs breathlessly. “Thank you, darling.” Tom tilts his head to the side. “What was it you wanted to say?”
Conflict briefly colours your face, manifesting itself in the arch of your eyebrow and the biting of your lower lip. You inhale sharply, only to exhale again a moment later.
“I’ll tell you when you’re out,” you say softly.
Tom scowls. There’s no anger there, just confusion. “What are you talking about? What’s going on?”
You shake your head. “I… Pretend I never said anything,” you say. You follow it up with a quick, “if I thought you needed to know, I’d tell you.”
He doesn’t want to push it, so Tom lets the topic slip away. You sit together silently for a few minutes. It’s hard to talk, difficult to express how much he misses you, how much he’s sorry. He knows that you understand—you always do, and you have similar tears wobbling across your eyes. Talking can come afterwards when he’s out and he’s free. All he needs now is the feeling of your hand back in his.
The visit is over far too soon.
Leaving you is difficult. Tom isn’t allowed to hug you or go any nearer than the linked hands on the table, but you tug at his fingers until he feels the imprint of your engagement ring rubbing against his skin. He even manages to kiss your knuckles a few times before he’s pulled up from the table and cuffed again.
“Be on your best behaviour,” you say, soft with your parting words. “The lawyer says the better you are, the easier it’ll be to get you out early.”
Tom has a bit of his spark back. Even as he’s pulled back, he manages a devious smirk. “When am I ever not on my best behaviour, darling?”
*:・゚✧*:・゚✧ *:・゚✧*:・゚✧ *:・゚✧*:・゚✧
A few days later, Tom snaps.
To be fair, it isn’t really his fault. He’s pushed to the very verge of insanity, prodded at and provoked beyond the point of return.
It happens when he’s in the barber, huddled in the back corner of the room as he gets a new tattoo. Tom is used to the pain of the burning needles as he already has a few pieces on his arms and his hands, so he’s able to take the fresh marks to his knuckles as the ink stains black against his skin. However, he’s a bit on edge from the sharp buzzing, which is perhaps why he responds so negatively to the taunting he starts to receive. It comes from Toni and the rest of his snivelling gang. They’re all members of the East London mob, ruled over by Tom’s nemesis Gordy. Most of the time, they stick to their side and Tom sticks to his, but they’ve caught him in a vulnerable position, and Toni never seems to know how to pick his timing.
It’s basic teasing, instilled with a brutal hard edge that would phase him if Tom cared enough about their opinions of him. It doesn’t hurt him when people attack his character or his honour—Tom knows the truth about his life, and he couldn’t give two shits about an outsider’s opinion of him. However, he finds it a lot harder to grin and bear it when the man changes angle.
“Word is, a couple of our guys saw your missus out with Haz the other day,” Toni taunts. “He said they were getting real close if you know what I mean.”
Tom’s jaw flexes. The action is minute, but it doesn’t go undetected. Toni smirks.
“Eh, you don’t like that, do you?” The man steps a little closer and Tom tries to ignore him by looking down at the needle pressing into his fingers. “Don’t like the idea of your best friend hanging around your wife. Can you even trust them?” He breaks off, laughing coolly. “They think you’re so stupid, did you know that? You’ll get out of here, and they’ll have cut you out of everything—”
“Shut the fuck up,” Tom murmurs. He flexes his right hand, shaking out his knuckles. With every passing day, he’s felt tetchier. He can feel his anger burning, churning deep within his stomach, growing brighter, harder. He knows he shouldn’t lean into it, but… He wants to. He craves that rush of the fight, selfishly so.
“But she’s not your wife, is she? You aren’t actually married. Have you ever thought that maybe she’s just using you? Maybe they all are? Look at you, Tom.” Toni breaks off to throw a disdainful hand in Tom’s direction. “You are so weak in here… How are any of your guys going to respect you when their leader can’t even stay out the slammer?”
The guy tattooing Tom’s hand finally pulls away, glancing up at him with knowing in his eyes. “You’re done,” he says. “Don’t do anything with that hand, though.”
“Thanks, man.”
Tom stands up, Toni mirroring him. The man looms in front of him, 6’2 and stocky. He’s larger than Tom in every respect, but he’ll never be the bigger man.
“Get out of my way,” Tom sneers.
“Make me, twat.” Toni smirks. “Or are you too much of a pussy to follow through on that as well?”
Tom sees red. Acting on the edge of adrenaline, he pounces, rushing the man and jumping with so much unexpected force that the larger man goes tumbling to the floor. Tom hears the shouts of the guards, but they pale in comparison to his need to straddle the man’s chest and make him pay. With each meeting of his fist with Toni’s face, Tom feels better. He’s never been an excessively violent person, but old habits die hard, and it’s so, so, so fucking easy to pummel the guy who dared breath an uncomplimentary word in his family’s direction. Tom would put the whole city six feet under if they so much as breathed wrong around his loved ones, so really, Toni had it coming.
The prison guards don’t agree.
He ends up in solitary, and when he’s put back into the normal population, Tom is given restrictions. He isn’t allowed visitors for a fortnight, and his calls are reduced to once a week. All other privileges he’d had are taken away again, and he’s relegated to the very bottom of the pecking order.
It’s still worth it.
When he’s finally allowed visitors again, Tom is surprised to learn that his next meeting isn’t with you or his lawyer. Things only make sense when he shuffles into the meeting room and sees his right-hand man settled in the corner, and if Tom had found the room drab before, it appears even more depressing with the addition of the blond man sitting in it. Harrison sucks the life from the room, any hints of happiness at being reunited with his friend overshadowed by the pinched expression on his face.
The guards don’t let Tom take off his cuffs. He has to sidle into the chair, falling into the heavy silence as he places his hands on the table. Metal links click, and Harrison just stares. He stares, and stares, and stares, his blue eyes almost black.
“So,” Tom eventually says. “Hello.”
Harrison’s jaw twitches. He brings his hands to rest on the top of the table, flexing them as he takes a moment to find the right words. “Tom,” he says, speaking very slowly. “You are a twat.”
He blinks. “Wow,” Tom mutters, chuckling slightly. “Okay. Good to see you too, mate.”
“Do you…” Harrison breaks off, groaning. His forehead develops angry ripples. “Do you understand how detrimental this has been to your case?”
Tom bites his lip, shaking his head slightly.
“You’ve been pushed to the bottom of the pile,” Harrison says, voice controlled but simmering with unspoken anger. “We were about to get your appeal passed for early release.” He sits back, crossing his arms as he shakes his head. “There’s been a penalty applied due to your stint in solitary. Your case won’t be assessed until it’s lifted.”
Tom feels his stomach drop. “Shit,” he mutters. “That’s not ideal.”
“No. No, it’s not.” Harrison sits forward, leaning on his hands. “You are a bloody idiot. Stop acting like a child… Why… Why did you even attack him? You must have known this would happen. Are you stupid?”
He doesn’t like the patronisation in his tone. Tom’s already beat himself up enough about this in solitary. He doesn’t need Harrison questioning his judgements, doesn’t appreciate his friend breathing down his neck so obviously.
“He deserved it,” Tom says firmly. “I would do it again.”
“You can’t. You absolutely cannot.”
“I think you’ll find that I can, Harrison.” There’s a stupid smirk on his lips now. Tom’s missed being a little shit to his friends. He knows it’s not the time, but he’s vibrating. The callous concoction of shame, anger and isolation make him volatile and abrasive. “I’m pretty sure I can do whatever the fuck I want, actually.”
The expression that mars Harrison’s face looks very out of place against his demeanour. The man is in a long black trench coat with a tight grey turtleneck layered beneath it. He has a few pendants hanging from his neck, the gold metal bringing out the warm tones in his curls, mussed in a way that screams of old charm and perfect romance. Harrison’s illusion of control falters only under the pressure of the anger that manifests itself so clearly on his face.
“Tom.” Harrison bangs his fist on the table. The ring wrapped around his pinky clangs against the wood. “You can’t keep this up. If you do, the case gets pushed further, and that is unacceptable.”
Tom scowls. “Well, Haz, last time I checked, I was the one who has to deal with the consequences of my actions. Not you.” He can’t stand the expression of condescension hanging over Harrison’s face. “If I want to throw a few punches, I bloody well will. You have no idea what it’s like in here. No idea at all.”
Harrison’s angered expression fades a little, but only for a moment. When Tom hardens the curve of his eyebrow, Harrison devolves into irritation again, almost snarling as he narrows his eyes. “Your actions affect everyone in your life,” he snaps. “Stop pretending you’re the only one paying for the things that you’ve done.”
“I’m the one with the cuffs, Harrison. I’d say I’m paying considerably more than anyone else.”
He shakes his head. “Yeah? Tell that to the men who had their property searched and their possessions seized. Tell that to your family, who continue to be pulled in for questioning. Tell that to Y/N, who—” he breaks off awfully quickly, cheeks flushing slightly. “Nevermind.”
Tom’s blood goes cold. “Y/N?” he repeats sharply. “What about Y/N?”
“Nothing.”
He sits up straighter. “What about Y/N, Harrison?”
“Nothing.”
Tom is angry now. “Tell me right now or god help me, I will find a way to kill you.”
Harrison rolls his eyes, then covers the movement with a sigh. “I can’t. It isn’t my place.” He seems regretful as he jumps in to add, “she’s fine. She just needs you. We all do.”
The guilt returns. It falls over Tom like a wet blanket, extinguishing his frustration and leaving him cold. “Does she… Does she hate me?” He’s looking down at his cuffs.
“What— no. No, Tom.” Harrison looks guilty for the first time, but at least he isn’t confirming Tom’s deepest insecurities. “Nothing like that at all. Just… Listen to me, alright? You need to behave. I know it’s hard in here, I know that, and I understand it must be frustrating. You just… You can’t let that rule you, Tom. You have to look at the bigger picture. You need to come home, and the sooner the better.”
It’s easier said than done, but he knows Harrison is earnest with it.
“Fine,” Tom grumbles. “I’ll behave.”
Harrison nods. “Thanks, mate,” he mutters. “We all miss you, myself included.” He glances up at him, eyes finally back to the cool blue tones Tom grew up beside. “It isn’t the same without you around.”
Tom manages a tight smile. “I miss you too.”
*:・゚✧*:・゚✧ *:・゚✧*:・゚✧ *:・゚✧*:・゚✧
IT’S BEEN THREE MONTHS since Tom was taken away, and you are miserable.
Every day has been the same. You wake up, nauseous and alone, always on Tom’s side of the bed despite forcing yourself to fall asleep on your own. The mornings are a blur of paperwork and phone calls that follow you into the afternoon. You work around the clock, Harrison, Harry and Sam at your side as you go over Tom’s case, again and again, only stopping when night falls, and one of you throws in the towel.
You had been so close to springing him until he’d gone and got himself demoted to solitary, and there’s not a morning that you don’t think about that. You’d submitted the appeal, stacked full of so much evidence that there was no way the judge would deny him freedom, only for Tom to get into a fistfight the day before the hearing. Just like that, the floor had vanished from beneath your feet.
You’d taken it badly, the others too. Losing Tom to the judge’s gavel had been hard enough, but for his escape to be taken away by his own actions hurt a thousand times worse. You know it’s worse for him, being alone in a cell, but that doesn’t stop the bitterness seeping into your mouth every time you think about the lost chance. Harry and Sam had been incensed, their anger fuelled by the void of a missing brother, and you know Harrison’s frustration comes from similar veins.
Even now that Tom’s served his time in solitary, the frustration lingers on, manifesting itself in the way none of you could decide who should go and visit him first. Under normal conditions, you would’ve been there in a heartbeat, but… Things have been complicated, even without recent events, more so than they’d been when you’d visited two months ago. When Harrison had bitten the bullet and volunteered himself, all of you had been more than happy to let him go.
He’d left this morning, and the house has been quiet ever since.
You’re sitting up in one of the spare rooms as you wait for Harrison to return, your back aching and your mind spinning. You twirl the rings on your fingers as you think, taking turns alternating between your engagement ring and the silver signet rings you’d taken from Tom’s dresser. Keeping him close makes everything easier. You’d take any reminder of him you could get, be that his rings, his shirts, his cologne, or…
The baby.
You shift a hand down to sit on the swell of your belly. Tears prick your eyes as you let them close, a frustrated sigh tumbling past your lips.
You’re four months pregnant, and that throws a spanner in the works.
Sure, you would’ve tried equally as hard to get Tom released under normal conditions, but the biological countdown that has now been sprinkled into the mix has only given everything an air of desperation. Even if it isn’t you vocalising what everyone else is thinking, the fervour to get Tom out before it’s too late is there. You can see it in the way Harrison never lets you go anywhere unaccompanied, and Harry and Sam have been working nonstop to get their brother’s freedom. Everyone around you is aware of how vital Tom’s release is, even when the man himself remains oblivious.
Exhaling gently, you shift around on the cosy armchair. The nursery smells of fading paint, and as you move around, you glance at the messy borders of the walls. The sex of your baby is still a mystery to you, but a few days ago, the twins had freshened up the room with a shade of light green whilst you and Harrison were in court. Neither of them is particularly artistically inclined, but they’d done a pretty decent job, all things considered.
Tom’s family have all been good to you—very kind. You haven’t felt alone, even with half your heart locked away in the outskirts of London. It just hasn’t been the idyllic pregnancy you’d dreamt about with your fiancé.
Guilt falls across you as you look down at the rising swell of your belly.
It’s been hard trying to decide whether or not to tell Tom what you’d tried to come clean about three months ago, down by the Thames. You’d wanted to tell him when you’d gone to visit him, but you couldn’t find the heart to come clean and admit that he’s missing out on the one thing he’s waited for his entire life. Telling him would hurt him immensely, and he’s already hurting being away from you. You don’t want to tell him until he can be part of it, and with that uncertainty present, you’ve kept your lips sealed.
Visiting him today in place of Harrison is all you really wanted to do, but you couldn’t bring yourself to do it. You’re vulnerable and explosive, and you want to come clean to Tom when the situation is better. There would be nothing worse than storming into that dingy meeting room, flaunting your obvious pregnancy but being too distracted by your anger at your fiancé to explain everything else. You won’t hurt him like that by taunting him with the one thing he wants but can’t have. You refuse to.
All you can do is hope that he forgives you for holding the information back, pray that he understands your motivations, and, above all, hold onto the hope that he’s there when your child comes into the world.
“Y/N? Where are you?”
Blinking yourself from your reverie, you look up through the open door.
“In here, Sam.”
A moment later, Tom’s younger brother appears in the doorway. The man looks as exhausted as you feel, deep shadows hanging beneath his hazel eyes. When he sees you, his mouth pulls into a small smile and he lifts his hand in greeting, and you can tell that he’s trying. You try to match him by sitting up a little straighter and smiling back.
“Hey,” he says. “I was just… bored, I guess. Thought I’d come and check on you.” Doubt briefly flickers across his face. “Is that okay? Are you busy?”
“I’m bored too,” you admit. You stand from the armchair and groan as you stretch your arms, your stiff back aching. “Do you want to do something?”
Sam grins. “Fuck yeah,” he says. “Can we try the mural?”
Wincing, you manage a smile. “Okay… But if it looks terrible, I will paint over it.”
“As if. I’m the artistic one here, Y/N. Just be glad Harry’s still away.”
“Did someone mention me?” Harry’s voice rings through the air, startling you. With a hand clutching your heart, you look to your side in time to see Sam’s twin taking his place at your side. Where Sam is in a shirt and tie, Harry is clad in a pair of deep denim dungarees. He offers you a rusty smile. “We’re just filling in these lines, yeah?”
Sam’s the one to nod. He gestures at the wall and you notice the faint outlines, scratched in pencil. “Be precise,” he informs, “it took me bloody ages sketching it.”
Harry rolls his eyes, shooting you a silent smirk. “Yes, sir,” he mutters. “Anything you want, sir.”
“Fuck off.”
Harry pulls a face. “Well,” he says, looking at you pointedly, “I hope you’re keeping a record of how many times Sam is swearing around the baby, Y/N.”
Brows furrowing, you pick up a paintbrush. “Why would I be doing that?”
The ginger grins. “Just betters my case for being the better uncle,” he says.
“Oh, what? Don’t you mean the boring uncle?” Sam chides, bristling beside you.
Harry laughs. “I will be the favourite uncle. I don’t care what you say, Sammy. Both of us know it.”
Rolling your eyes at the argument you’ve heard a thousand times before, you give them both a nudge. “Shh,” you plead. “Paint, don’t fight.”
Sam shoots you a soft smile. “Yes, ma’am.”
With a smile lingering on your lips, you watch as Harry puts on one of his playlists, then relax as the three of you get to work. None of you say anything, but the air is full enough—tickled to life with Sam’s quiet whistling and the sound of paintbrushes thick against the wall. You concentrate on the intricate details of the mural, like the outlines of the clouds and the spirals of the grass, and marvel at how wonderful it is to be so content in silence. It’s indicative of how tight your bond has grown, you think.
No longer despising solitude, you’ve found a comfortable middle ground around the men. You and Tom’s inner circle have learned to work together well, stringing together complex case files as you’ve organised accounts. Nothing you’ve been doing recently is legal, but you would’ve left a long time ago if you genuinely cared about the law. You can stomach a few fixed accounts if it means Tom gets to walk free—you can stomach a whole lot more than that, actually, for Tom. You’d set the whole world on fire just to see him smile.
Like the splotchy mural covering the walls, your team has got the job done. Your case for the court is watertight, if a little messy, but you know it’ll be enough to spring Tom. It has to be. You need him, and your child needs him. Everyone in the house needs him.
“Guys? Where are you?” Harrison’s voice joins the mix just as you’re stretching up to flick a few rays of gold into the sun. Harry is at your feet, crouching on the balls of his feet as he tries to paint a few red flowers to the sprigs of grass.
“Nursery,” Harry calls out.
A few moments later, Harrison joins you. You fail to meet his eyes as the focused man sweeps into the room, billowing coat swirling around his feet. His expression is terse as he jerks off his jacket and grabs a paintbrush, dipping the tip in a bit of sky blue paint before standing at the end. You don’t rush him. He’s vibrating with something, his face flushed and his eyes dark, so you give him space.
A few minutes pass, illustrated by Harry’s playlist and the colours of the rainbow. Just when you’re beginning to worry, Harrison speaks.
“Tom is an idiot,” he states, drawing a laugh from one of the twins.
You bite your lip. “Did you explain?” you ask.
Harrison nods. He glances at you, and you note the fleck of purple paint pressed into the pale arc of his cheek. “He said he wouldn’t do it again,” he tells you. “He was angry, though. I think he’s having a bad time.”
Harry hums. “It’s hard in there,” he mumbles. “Was he still himself?”
The blond nods. “Yeah,” he says. “As snarky as ever.”
Sam smirks. “That’s Tom, alright.”
“Good news, though,” Harrison adds. “I went to the courthouse on my way back.”
“Oh?” You look away from your cloud, your heart skipping a beat. “And?”
“And,” Harrison continues, a semblance of a smile twitching across his lips, “I submitted the appeal again. They said they’d probably process it next week. So, if things go according to plan this time, he might be out by next Friday.”
You almost drop your paintbrush. Eyes widening, you turn to face him properly. “Wait, really?”
Harrison’s expression softens. “Yeah.” He puts his paintbrush down, tugging yours from your fingers as if he can tell you’re close to dropping it. “He’s almost out, Y/N.”
Relief spills across you, uncontrollable and overwhelming. Closing your eyes before those easy tears can fall down your cheeks, you step closer and push your way into Harrison’s embrace. He’s ready and waiting for the action, eager to comfort his friend.
“Thank you,” you whisper. Harrison’s chest is warm, and though his hugs aren’t as good as Tom’s, you’ve come to rely on them. You’ve come to rely on all of them. “That’s amazing news.”
“Mhmm.” He squeezes you. “This nightmare is almost over.”
“Thanks, man,” Harry speaks up. You pull away from Harrison’s hold when you hear the quivering tones in his voice, quickly glancing to the man to find him glassy-eyed and flushed. Biting your lip, you extend a hand towards him.
A group hug unfolds, as it’s had the tendency to do since Tom was taken away. The first time had been stoic and cool, with frozen elbows and embarrassed shuffling, but slowly, each one of them has loosened. They’re tough men, burdened and hard, but love ties them to you, and at your request, you know they’d do anything for you. You also know that they all enjoy the physical comfort more than they’d ever let on.
It’s been hard without Tom, and you’d do anything to have him back, but if there’s anything his absence has taught you, it’s that his brothers have become your brothers as his best friend has become your own, and you’ve never really been alone.
*:・゚✧*:・゚✧ *:・゚✧*:・゚✧ *:・゚✧*:・゚✧
Tom’s release day comes quickly, hidden behind the retrial and the quick-paced days in court. It’s busy at the trial, and spaces are limited, so Harry and Sam attend in place of you and Harrison. You get them to take in a few letters for Tom and pass on your condolences for your absence, but you don’t allow yourself to get too hung up on it. When Tom’s release is announced, the weight that rolls from your shoulders is immediate.
As you wait outside the prison, you try to find solace in the rays of the mid-afternoon sun. It’s quiet in the car park, allowing you to ruminate in peace, and though you’re comfortable resting against the bonnet of Tom’s car, your thoughts are far from restful.
Anxiety weighs heavily in your chest, mixing with your excitement and creating a volatile concoction. You find yourself pacing, biting back your nerves as you try to reason with yourself. Draped around your shoulders is a long coat that obscures your bump, chosen as you’ve decided you don’t want to overwhelm Tom with too many things at once. You hope it does the job. The coat twitches in the wind as you walk, noisy and obnoxious.
Things around you are still until there’s a sudden, loud buzzing noise from the prison compound. You jerk your head around to see two men leaving the main building, small in the distance but gradually growing larger. They’re still enclosed in the fenced courtyard, but they’re on their way to the exit, and every rational thought you have flies from your mind as you see him. Tom. Your Tom.
He’s in the clothes he’d been arrested in—red shirt, black slacks, shiny shoes. Looped around his hands is his Rolex and his rings. Tom seems almost identical to how he’d been on that cursed day, just his head is buzzed and he looks a little smaller. He’s carrying himself with confidence, though, and when he looks fervently around the car park and spots you, his entire face swells with happiness. The sight of that large, lovely smile hanging from his lips brings immediate warmth to your eyes.
Every breath is easier now you have him in your sights. Overwhelming love gluts your insides, warm and emotive, choking you up. It takes everything in you to stay still as you wait for Tom to finish talking with his guard, a tall man you recognise from all of his stories, Luther. Tom’s smirking in a way that’s obviously infuriating, and the guard doesn’t hesitate to give him a light punch as your boyfriend saunters out of prison, leaving the compound with a swagger to his stride and a smile the size of Saturn.
The sight of Tom jogging towards you breaks you from your reverie, and you push yourself away from the car to meet him somewhere in the middle. Nothing matters until you’re colliding with his front, finding warmth in his arms, feeling his entire body shake as his tears fall into your hair. Nothing matters unless it’s him.
“I missed you so much,” you whisper. Your grip on the back of Tom’s shirt is hard, a violent sprawling across your knuckles, but you won’t let go. You’re giddy with love. “Fuck, Tom, I missed you so, so much.”
You pull away from his chest and look into his eyes, your lower lip wobbling as you note the fresh tears on his face. You use your thumbs to brush beneath his cheeks, flicking away the tears as you clean up his handsomeness.
“I missed you so much more,” he promises. Tom brings a hand to rest on the back of your head, breath hitching as he meets your eyes. “I love you.”
“I love you too.”
He kisses you, and it’s so intense you end up pressed against the side of the car. Tom moans with relief as he strokes his fingers over the side of your face, delicately reacquainting his lips with yours as they meet again and again. You keep your hands gliding over his back, his arms, his shoulders, letting your tongues come together as tears flow down your cheeks. The kiss is everything and nothing, familiar and new. The kiss says I missed you. It says I thought about you every day. It says I would wait a thousand dawns if it meant I got to wake up beside you again, but thank fucking god you’re here right now because I missed you more than I ever thought was possible.
“Baby,” Tom murmurs. He pulls away but keeps your foreheads pressed together, the cool tip of his nose brushing yours. “You’re so perfect. I missed you so much that it hurt me.”
He tries to move closer, but you become aware of the pressure to your belly, so bring a gentle hand to push his shoulder away. Hurt immediately floods to his eyes, his expression twitching as Tom takes a few steps back.
“Tom,” you say, voice soft. “I need to tell you something.”
Tom’s jaw twitches. “What is it?” he whispers.
“A good thing,” you clarify. You reach up to wipe the residue of your tears away, then bring your hands down to the tie of your jacket. Biting your lip, you take a steadying breath. “I hope you aren’t angry that I didn’t tell you sooner,” you preface, “but I did it for you.”
Tom nods intensely. “Okay,” he says. “It’s okay. Whatever it is, it’s fine. I’m… I’m here, okay? For anything. It’s me and you. Just… me and you forever.”
A smile flickers across your face. “Me and you, and…” You gently open the front of your coat, then reach out for Tom’s hands. Guiding them slowly, you bring the warmth of his palms to rest on the rise of your bump.
“Wait…” Tom shifts his hands around your belly before staring up at you, slack-jawed. He doesn’t try to hide the obvious tears in his eyes. “You’re…?”
Nodding your head is easier than trying to speak.
“Oh god.” Tom sniffles. “What?” He immediately drops to his knees in front of you, his fancy dress trousers getting dirty in the dust. “How— how far along?”
“Almost five months,” you whisper. “I found out right before you got back from Liverpool. I was going to tell you when we went on that date, but…”
“But I fucked up.” Tom sounds wrecked, his aching eyes fixed on the curve of your belly. “I fucked everything up. I… I left you alone for this entire time, and you had to do this all without me.” He rests his forehead against your bump, very, very gently, and you see him close his eyes. “I am a terrible partner.”
Rolling your fingers over the scruff of his hair, you guide him up to look at you. It’s second nature as you roll a thumb over his cheekbone, trying to instil the action with love and reassurance.
“I’m not angry,” you tell him. “You didn’t know, and you didn’t get arrested on purpose. If anything, you should be angry at me for keeping this a secret.” Your teeth catch your lower lip. “I didn’t want to hurt you, but I thought telling you would only make things worse. I’m sorry.”
Tom shakes his head. “No, no. Don’t apologise.” He rests a hand on your leg, the other still on the curve of your front. “I’m sorry.” He drops his voice and looks at the bump. “And I’m sorry to you too, little one.” He nudges his mouth forward and deposits a soft kiss to your stomach. “I love you too.”
Digging one of your hands into your coat pocket, you pull out a photo. “Here,” you urge, handing it to your boyfriend. Tom takes it after a moment, his eyes slow to move away from your front.
He releases a noise somewhere between an exclamation and a choke, nimble fingers gripping the image from your ultrasound. His cheeks flush a brilliant rose.
“When was this?” he whispers.
“At three months,” you reply. You continue to run your hand over the top of his head, trying to soothe him as he absorbs so much information at once. “I went with my mum and Haz.”
“Haz?”
You nod. “Harry and Sam lost a bet.”
Tom hums. He looks between the photo and your bump, then nudges forward to kiss the rise again. His lips are so warm you can feel them through the material of your dress. “Have they been looking after you well enough?”
A light laugh slips past your lips. “Yeah,” you promise. “They helped so much, Tom. It was hard at first… Really hard. Especially when we thought you’d be in there for five years, but… Things worked out.” You have to pause to gather your thoughts. “We converted one of the rooms into a nursery. There’s still stuff left to do, and we can do that together, of course, but… They were all really helpful.”
“Good.” Tom looks up at you, still kneeling, and your hand slips down to cup his face. “I’m sorry,” he adds. “I wish I could’ve been here for all of this.”
Shrugging gently, you squeeze his face. “You can be here for the rest of it,” you promise. “And, I guess… If we have another one, you’ll be there for all of that, right?”
“Of course, darling.” You smile as Tom tilts his lips to knock against the side of your palm.
“So it’s okay.”
“Are you sure?”
Chuckling softly, you nod. “Yes,” you promise. “I love you, and I’m so happy this has happened for us, even if the timing was difficult.” Feeling yourself well up, you exhale slowly. “We’re going to be parents, Tom. Isn’t that crazy?”
“It’s brilliant.” Tom’s eyes sparkle. “I’m going to be a father.” He blinks. “What the fuck.”
Laughing, you move your hands to the crown of his head. “Yeah, it’ll take a while to get used to that.”
“I’ll get there,” he states. Tom returns his attention to the bump. “Hey, little one,” he coos, voice all silk and amber tones, “it’s going to be the biggest honour of my life being your dad.”
Tom spends a while at your feet, speaking softly to you and your bump, and you keep your hand resting on the back of his head. He’s weary when he finally climbs to his feet but regains some of that spark when you step forward to kiss him. You don’t mean to make it as heated as you do, but it hasn’t only been your heart that’s missed Tom. You’ve craved him, constantly, during every single lonely night, and now that he’s here, you’re willing to take everything you can get.
“I love you,” you say, hushed against his mouth.
Tom’s teeth brush over your lower lip, and you moan when he tugs. There’s a fervour to it, hot lust burning through sensitive emotions. He releases your lip and pulls back to stare at you, his eyes rippling darker.
“I love you too,” he murmurs. He brings his hands to your waist, pulling you closer. “I love everything about you.”
Your mouths come back together, and it’s messier than before, your lips wettening as your kisses become wilder. Tongues dance and teeth clash as your body temperature starts to rise. Now you’ve moved through the emotional reunion, you’re left with an underlying pulse—a heat throbbing persistently between your legs. The fire builds as you hear Tom’s grunts and feel the desperation in his hands when they grab at your sides and jerk you closer, his mouth devouring yours until your lips are puffy and tender. You’re greedy, chasing more, desiring everything you’ve missed out on in the months you’ve been apart from your lover.
“Darling,” Tom murmurs, breaking the kiss to whisper hotly against your lips, “I missed you, but if you keep this up, we’re not going to get home.”
Desire takes hold of you. “Who said I wanted to go home?” You push in closer, shifting slightly until you’re able to feel the hardness of his crotch pressing up against your thigh. The familiarity of it all makes you inhale sharply. You drop your tone, trying to seem coy as you speak, “I don’t think you understand how badly I needed you whilst you were away, Tom. I missed you.”
The tips of his teeth glint as he arches his brows. “Well…” Tom mumbles. “I owe you about four months of lost opportunities.” He swallows, briefly breaking from the lust-filled headspace to look guilty. You smooth it away by reaching down to squeeze at his hands. “If my radiantly stunning fiancé decides she wants me to start repenting for that now, then who am I to stop her?”
Rolling your eyes, you step away from the car. “You’re a suck-up,” you taunt. You plant a light kiss to his lips. “C’mon,” you urge. “The car.”
He wiggles his eyebrows. “The backseat?” he teases. “Shit, angel. You must be desperate.”
Warmth tickles your face. “Shut up.”
Tom smirks deviously. “It’s okay,” he soothes. He darts forward to open the car door for you, resting his hand on your lower back as you step forward. “I’m just as desperate as you, baby.”
“I hate you,” you murmur. Tom follows you into the car, shutting the door behind you both. You wait for him to sit before straddling his lap, your legs stretching until you have a shin planted on either side of his thighs. The position is comfortable, with enough space between your bump and his chest for you to breath, and you whimper as Tom bends nearer to ghost his lips over yours.
“No, you don’t,” he murmurs.
You want to tease him, but you couldn’t even if you wanted to. You’re alright with too much adoration to even think about pressing it down.
“I really don’t,” you agree.
Tom makes a soft noise of vindication, the tip of his nose brushing yours for just a moment until he’s bearing down and bringing your lips together. You sigh, reaching up and urging him closer. His lips are lovely, and you enjoy kissing them for a while, but then you find yourself distracted by the open expanse of his neck. With his hair buzzed, you’re keenly aware of his throat, pale and sensitive, and if there’s one thing you remember about your boyfriend, it’s his affinity for lovebites.
You bring your lips to the side of his neck, nuzzling your mouth against the long, pale stretch of his throat. Smirking against his skin, you start to suckle deep hickeys against the side of his neck, revelling in the throaty gasps Tom deposits into the air in response.
“Fuck, darling,” Tom whines. He has a hand on your back, urging you closer. When you graze the tips of your teeth against his skin, he whimpers. “Shit. More.”
“More?” you tease. “Forgotten all your manners, Tom?”
He growls. The hand on your back shifts to the back of your head, and he jerks you ever closer. He’s still mindful, especially of the bump laying between you, but he knows just as well as you that you aren’t a piece of porcelain; you like being tugged around. You’ve missed it.
“Give me what I want, and maybe I’ll return the favour.” He says it like you’re oblivious to the desperation in his words. You decide to oblige him.
“Okay,” you murmur. You look up to meet his gaze, his honey-brown eyes full of appreciation. For a moment, it knocks you off balance. It’s so strange readjusting to having Tom back—almost overwhelming to be able to touch someone who had existed only in your memories for so many weeks. You drop your head and give him what he wants.
Tom’s skin tastes clean, and it smells distantly of pinecones. He groans, fisting at your hair and holding you close as you kiss and suck along his skin, drawing deep hues to the surface of his neck. He shifts in his seat, basking in the pain and whining every time you soothe a fresh mark with the warmth of your tongue. You keep your hand resting on his hair, the cropped length of his buzz prickly and coarse beneath the pads of your fingertips.
“Oh god yeah,” he murmurs, voice mingling with the wet noises coming from your lips. “Your mouth is so fucking good, baby. I missed it.” Grunting, he brings a hand to your waist, squeezing the flesh of your hips hard. “I thought about you all the time in there.”
Tom releases his hold on your hair and begins to stroke his hands over your back. As you continue to mark his neck, he starts to tease you, gradually dropping the heat of his palms lower and lower. You can’t stop yourself from bucking down into his hold, moaning against his neck as he grabs handfuls of your ass.
“Tom,” you break off to whimper, panting softly. You feel dizzy on the taste of his skin. “You’re being mean.”
“Mean?” you can hear the smirk in his voice. “How am I being mean?” Tom squeezes the curves of your figure, his slender fingers warm against your skin. You’re in a dress, the material thin, and he doesn’t hesitate to curve his hands beneath the hem and bring them to rest over your panties. “You’re the one who wanted to come in here and get your hands all over me… I’m doing what you asked.” He breaks off, chuckling darkly. “That’s not how things usually work, though, is it?”
The air between you shifts.
You pull away from Tom’s neck, your mouth inflamed and throbbing. You have to dig your teeth into your lower lip to muffle your whimper when Tom brings a hand to the front of your legs, gently brushing two of his long fingers over the front of your panties. He’s teasing with it, eyes alight with deviousness, jaw set in a determined line.
“I don’t know,” you whisper. “Maybe I want to be in charge this time.”
Tom laughs gently. “Oh, yeah?” He rubs your cunt a little faster, causing you to suck in a sharp breath as you feel the delicate pressure on your clit. The contact makes your passage clench, growing wet enough to dampen the front of your panties. “So you don’t like this, hmm? You don’t want me to follow through on everything I have planned for you?”
“What have you got planned?”
He tuts. “Oh, I’m not going to tell you, angel. That’d be too easy. Either you want me to be in charge, or you decide to call the shots.” Tom smirks as he feels you buck down against his hand. Maybe if the circumstances were different, you’d find the strength to push back, but you don’t. It’s been so long, and your cunt is weeping already just from the husky tones in his voice.
“You’re in charge,” you whisper. The vindicated smirk he flashes in response is enough to send shivers down your spine.
“Damn right, baby.” Tom moves his hands away, pressing them to your waist instead. “Can you lay down for me, please?”
You shuffle across the car seat as instructed, Tom shifting until he’s kneeling in the footwell of the backseats. It’s a good thing the car is obscenely huge, otherwise, the already-cramped fit would be unworkable.
Draping your legs over Tom’s shoulders, he pushes the hem of your dress up, bunching it just above your bump. The hungry fire in his eyes fades slightly.
“Is this okay? Are you comfy?”
“It’s fine,” you soothe. “Are you okay down there?”
Tom nods. The scruff of his buzzed head scratches against your inner thighs. “I’m bloody perfect,” he responds. “Can I touch you?”
“Please do.”
The tip of his nose nuzzles against your covered clit. “Perfect,” Tom purrs, his breath hot against your panties. “I think it’s time I remind you who owns this fucking pussy… As hot as it was when you were trying to tell me what to do, it’s not on.” He brings his mouth away from your core, and you whimper as his tongue laps gently across your thigh, the muscle deliciously slippery. “I’m the one calling the shots.”
You’re throbbing, every inch of you aching for his touch. The burn is visceral—pulsing, wet. “Yes, sir,” you return. Tom’s eyes snap to yours. “Do whatever you want.”
“Say please.”
Swallowing the dryness in your throat, you add, “please.”
“Good, baby. You sound so pretty begging for me.” Tom easily pulls your panties down your legs, returning to push your thighs further apart. He brings both of his thumbs to your sensitive lips, humming when you whimper. Using the pads of his fingers, he gently parts your centre, groaning softly at the sight. “Say it,” he murmurs, entranced by the paradise between your legs. “Tell how badly you want me.”
He’s incredibly infuriating, but you play right into his hand. “Please, Tom,” you whine. “Please touch me.”
He hums. “Of course, lovie,” he murmurs. He glances up at you. “All you had to do was ask.”
The first touch of his tongue against your slit makes your eyes roll back. A breathless whine slips past your lips as his mouth envelops your clit, the strong tip of his tongue nuzzling over your sensitive skin in a way you’ve only dreamed of. You’ve been able to get off in his absence, but nothing can simulate the sizzling heat of his mouth and his tongue, nor the scratching of his short hair against your fleshy inner thighs.
The way he unravels you is obscene, toned with the sounds of spit and lazy lips, the sensations of desperation. Tom devours you, using his elbows to push your thighs apart as he buries his face as close to your centre as possible. You can barely see him over the rise of your belly, but you can certainly feel him. When you start to grind down against his face, things only escalate, your eyes fluttering shut as your spine arches in response to his feverish movements.
“Oh god,” he murmurs, voice thick as it vibrates across you. “Missed this… Tastes so fucking good, sweetheart.”
Your high rolls over you suddenly and without warning, manifesting itself in a silent cry as your body goes rigid. You hear Tom hum in surprise, then feel his hands lock around your thighs, holding back your legs as they shake in the face of absolute pleasure.
“Sorry,” you pant, recovering gradually, “I didn’t know that was going to happen then.”
Tom runs his tongue over your slit, still sensitive and throbbing. “‘S okay, lovie,” he replies, voice warm. He nuzzles in closer and brings two slender fingers to push against your entrance. Your hole is hot and pulsing, pooled with your arousal. You hear it pucker as he gently presses against your cunt, teasing your entrance with his fingertips. “I’m not done making it up to you, though. Is that okay?”
Exhaling, you nod quickly. “Fuck yeah,” you say, struggling to think. “Oh.”
He slips two fingers into you, your eager walls parting and welcoming him in. Tom removes his mouth from your heat and replaces his tongue with the pad of a thumb, and when you release a loud noise of strangled enjoyment, he begins to crook his fingers into you. He strokes his digits against your walls with poise and elegance, nudging up against your g-spot and stroking, again and again, chasing the noises you release.
“So pretty,” he coos. “My pretty baby. Making all those beautiful noises.” Tom smiles almost proudly. His chin is wet with your arousal. “I love your cunt… Look at how well it's taking me.” To prove his point, he feeds a third finger alongside the others. “So greedy for me, eh? Greedy little pussy. So hot. So wet. God…”
Tom drops his head again, disappearing from your sight of vision. You moan, body jerking as you feel his tongue move around his fingers, catching the arousal that seeps from your pussy as he works you open. He releases an obscene moan before dragging his mouth to your clit, stimulating you with his hands and tongue in tandem.
“Holy fuck,” you whimper. You feel hot in the best way, your skin becoming sweaty as you writhe over the leather seat. “Feels so good, Tommy.” It feels like heaven—especially when he bends his fingers and the tips of them stroke up against your sensitive spot. “‘M gonna cum again.”
“Already?”
“Yeah.”
Tom chuckles. “I’m so good at this,” he murmurs. “Go on, angel. Don’t hold back on my account… You’re so pretty when you cum.”
The tide breaks, and your climax rolls across you, legs trembling as Tom holds you in place. You writhe as you bask in the heat, your knuckles losing blood as you clench your hands into hard fists. The press of your nails against the soft flesh of your palms hurts, but you don’t care. It feels far too good to think about anything beyond Tom.
You ride it out, and Tom eventually draws his face away from your clit. He kisses along your inner thighs as you gasp for air, only removing his fingers when you start to whimper. As good as the climaxes have felt, panting for breath on the backseat, it isn’t enough. It isn’t enough by far.
“Get up here,” you say breathlessly.
Tom chuckles as he appears from between your legs. He gives your thighs a little tap before he closes your legs, wriggling out of the footwell as you sit up. Easily, like you’ve done a thousand times before, you swing a leg over Tom’s lap, straddling him when he sits with his back against the car seat.
“Are you okay up there?” he checks, bringing his clean hand to rest on the curve of your stomach. When you nod, his brown eyes darken. “Perfect…” he hums. “Clean off my fingers, will you?”
You nod, opening your mouth expectantly and moaning as Tom slips three of his fingers between your lips. Fighting your smirk, you maintain eye contact with him, your pride swelling as you see his cheeks darken. He gently fucks his fingers into your mouth, making you moan at the movements and the taste of your heat as it spreads across your tongue. He’s messy with it, and you feel your lips and chin grow heavy from spittle.
“Pretty,” he coos, “so, so pretty.”
Tom goes to move his fingers from your mouth, only for a detail to make you pause. Eyes straining, you reach up to catch his wrist, holding his hand in place just as his fingers pull away from your lips.
“What’s this?” you query, narrowing your eyes. You drag Tom’s left hand nearer your face, gasping softly as you take note of a new tattoo resting at the bottom of his ring finger.
“Oh.” Tom shifts around slightly, biting at his lower lip. “I got your initials tattooed… When we get married, the ring will cover them, but I wanted you with me—I want you with me—all the time, even without a bit of metal.” He hesitates. “Is that okay?”
You press a delicate kiss across the letters. “Yes,” you say. You feel shy as you meet the eyes of the man who loves you so immensely. “That’s really, really sweet, Tom.” You bite your lip as you look up at him. “Gone soft on me, baby?”
“‘M always soft on you,” he says gruffly, guiding a hand to your face. He brings you closer, encouraging you to lean higher on your knees. “Love of my life, angel. You know that… My wife.”
You shift on his lap, smiling bashfully. “I’m not your wife yet.”
“Soon, soon, soon,” he whispers.
Both of you come together, no words needing to be exchanged for you to know what to do. Tom loses his clothes as you sit up a little straighter, one of your hands curling around the headrest of a seat as Tom angles himself slightly. With the rise of your bump between you, you aren’t able to be flushed together like times before, but the man beneath you is quick to readjust so he’s laying further back, giving you plenty of room to move in a way that’s comfortable. He kisses over your knuckles as you run his hard cock through your slit, his interested eyes fixed firmly on the sight of his length as you finally begin to move down.
The moment the head of his cock pushes into you feels indescribable. The ache of the stretch falls away as relief pours over you, the closeness satisfying far more than just your arousal.
“Gentle, gentle,” Tom murmurs, hand resting on your belly. “Be careful.”
You chuckle, beginning to move but only slowly. “It’s okay,” you reassure him, “it won’t hurt them.” Your eyes roll back slightly as you bring your hand down to rest on Tom’s shoulder, moaning quietly. “You can move too… Please, move.”
“Okay, darling.” Tom gently starts to move his hips. He groans as he slumps back against the seat, beautiful face coloured light pink. You’d missed the expressions he makes, how emotive the slants of his features can be. His nostrils flare and his jaw tenses as you ride him, your cunt so wet the movements are almost effortless. “That feels… so good.” His voice is hollow, gutless. “I can’t tell you how long I’ve been thinking about you. You, and your hot cunt.” He moans again, unable to sit around the words. Tom ruts into you a little harder, guiding you to move faster with the hand on your hip. “Taking me so well, darling. So fucking well. I’m not going to last at all.”
“That’s okay,” you murmur. “I won’t either.”
Tom manages a lazy smirk. He opens his eyes as he brings a hand to your clit, teasing the sensitive bud with his thumb. You jerk a little at the stimulation but start to ease into it, basking in the pleasure from the bud and Tom’s cock. He’s buried deep within you, pressing your walls apart, the curved tip of his head brushing deeper than you’ve felt in months.
“So tight,” he murmurs. Tom leans back, clearly enjoying the sight of you riding him. “My darling. You look so beautiful like this… I swear your tits are bigger, too.” The hand on your belly gently caresses the bump, Tom’s tongue briefly wandering out to wet his lower lip. “Look at how beautiful you are… I can’t wait to knock you up again.”
Stifling a moan, it takes everything in you to focus on your movements. “You feel so good, Tom,” you whimper, unable to hold back the praise he loves to hear. “I missed this so much.”
“I know, baby. I missed this too… Come on, now.” His voice hardens slightly. “I’m about to cum, but I don’t want to unless you’re right here beside me. So… will you be a good girl and finish with me? Please?”
Heat flushes through your system as you bounce your head quickly. Your eyes close, breath hitching as you feel your climax rise. It starts in the pit of your stomach, a coil pulling tighter and tighter until it bends and snaps, bursting wide and spilling pleasure across your body in warm waves of enjoyment. You cry out as you fall apart, holding Tom’s shoulder tightly as his hand clamps around your waist. You feel him mirror you, hear his loud groan as his cock pulses inside you, your movements unceasing as you ride it out together.
It ends, but you stay joined. Tom sits up, the distance put between you by your belly requiring him to stretch closer and seize your lips in a smouldering kiss. His hand returns to your cheek, yours to his, and the look in his eyes is dizzying.
“I love you so much,” he speaks, words soft like a promise. “Everything I do from here on out is for you, and…” He glances back at your stomach. “And our child.” Words thickening, you see Tom’s eyes well with tears again. He chuckles, cheeks flushing red. “Sorry,” he adds. “I get a bit choked up thinking about it.”
You stroke your fingers over the back of his hair, spiky strands smooth against your hand. “Don’t apologise for expressing your emotions, baby,” you whisper. “It’s been a very long day.”
Tom nods. “Love you,” he murmurs again. He nuzzles his head into the palm of your hand, his eyes closing.
“I love you too,” you say, words truer than they’ve ever been before. You bend down to kiss his forehead. “Do you want to go home now?”
He hums. “Y/N,” he whispers. Tom blinks up at you, eyes soft. He catches the palm of your hand with a few kisses as he sits up a little straighter. “I’m already home.”
Teeth grazing your lower lip, you hold back your smile as you marvel at how clichéd he’s become. You bend down and kiss him very gently. “Sap,” you murmur. “Love you, though.”
Tom pulls a face. He rolls his eyes, but there’s no malice—only love. “Love you too,” he says. “Yes, though,” he adds, “I would love to go home.”
*:・゚✧*:・゚✧
*:・゚✧*:・゚✧ *:・゚✧*:・゚✧
*:・゚✧*:・゚✧ *:・゚✧*:・゚✧ *:・゚✧*:・゚✧
finis
yay
that’s probably a wrap on mob!tom ! i don’t have any more fic ideas for him :( that being said, this was a lot of fun to write, and i really, really hope you liked it :D ik the theme isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, so if you read it all, i love you very very much
please let me know if you have any thoughts!!
masterlist through the link in my bio <3
#tom holland x reader#tom holland smut#tom holland x reader smut#mob!tom x reader#mob!tom holland#mob!tom holland smut#y/n#self insert#smut#mob!tomfic
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JJK when they want attention
warning(s): none !
a/n: just smth sweet rq by my mf baby 🥳!! Hope you guys like hehehehe
characters: yuuji, megumi, gojo, nanami, inumaki, nobara, & maki
Yuuji
Has literally no problem being bold faced about it I PROMISE. If he’s feeling cuddly and clingy and you guys are alone he’s whining and clinging onto you, doing any and everything in his power to convince you to come nap with him or cuddle on the couch and watch a movie. If you’re in public he has a ~method (which he definitely thinks is a total secret and he’s a genius mastermind but you’re 100% onto him and just thinks he’s so cute so you give in most of the time).
He’ll come up behind you, even if you’re taller than him, and hug you super tight around your midsection, mumbling about how tired he is and, oh gosh, how warm it would probably be under the covers if the two of you were cuddling right now. And, man, I don’t know, napping? When you giggle and give in he gets so giddy and holds your hand super tight all the way home.
Sometimes though he just wants your attention and praise so he’ll talk about things he did that day that he thinks you might be proud of him for 😭 and every time you say anything along the lines of “good job” or show your interest he gets so happy and lights up :)
Megumi
Megumi is a starer sorry not sorry LOL. You’ll even be alone, in your own shared home, and you’ll feel a pair of eyes staring at you from the other end of the couch and when you turn your head to ask what’s up he’s looking away super fast hoping you didn’t notice, as if him not so secretly turning his head away from you doesn’t give it away. He just feels so weird asking for your attention - and not just cause he’s shy but he gets all in his head about it.
He doesn’t want to seem weird asking you for attention, maybe you’re not in the mood. What if it makes you uncomfortable? What if you feel like you have to say yes? Or what if you say no and it’s awkward? How would he even ask for attention? He’s just generally an over thinker and slightly embarrassed over how much he just wants you to pay attention to him.
Over the course of your relationship though you’ve picked up on his little signs and have learned how to coerce him into letting you know what he wants, as well as giving him attention when he needs it.
Ask him a few questions about anything and through the course of the conversation you’ve somehow brought his head to your lap and are now playing with his hair until he passes out, and he’s in heaven <3
He’s very lucky to have such an attentive s/o :)!
Gojo
A WHINER. A LOUD BABY WHINER. He’ll often opt for making inappropriate comments too - even if you’re in public - to make it seem like ~that’s the reason he wants you in bed, but then he’s suddenly “super tired” and thinks cuddling is a better idea instead. Why he just can’t tell you he’s in the mood for cuddling you never know
He will blow your notifs up and not give af 😭 texting you endlessly like
(y/n)
(y/n)
(y/n)
(y/n)
I miss you :(
(y/n)
HELLOOOOO
[1 photo attachment]
it’s my penis 😜
14 missed FaceTime calls from “gojo.”
I’m sorry I’m joking it’s not my penis don’t be mad :(
It’s actually not his penis
If you do answer one of his spontaneous calls though it’s just him smiling at the phone like “whatcha doingggg?” Cause he misses you and your face
He also is constantly sending you things while he’s away with work, postcards, gifts, treats, you name it. You cant blame him for missing you sm :(
And when he does get home from a trip he’s actually a bit quieter, looking forward to just wrapping you up in his arms and cuddling with you until you fall asleep. But he makes sure to stay awake so he can look at your face and think about how cute you look sleeping and probably drooling a little <3
Nanami
No words, just sighs and hands. This was particularly common when he still had his boring office job - although now with gojo he just has to give you a look when he gets home that says, “this man is gonna kill me, please just hold me.”
He’s most clingy and cuddly when he’s tired/fatigued. It’s so easy for you to coerce him to bed or to relax when he’s visibly drained cause all it takes is some quick work of your hands on his sore muscles or running through his hair, or better yet undoing his tie for him, and he’s putty in your hands. He always watches so intently too when you take the time to take off his suit jacket and tie for him, even going so far as to unbutton his shirt. You know it’s been a long day when he lets you do this and after he’s decided he’s stared at you and basked in you long enough, he grabs your cheeks and leaves you a sweet sensual kiss. He always sighs deeply and then pulls you into a hug, every once in a while you even hear him mumble about how lucky he is.
If he ever just wants your attention though he kind of makes a fussy show about it 🤭 I’m talking sighing periodically and staring at you and once you look at him like ,, yes? He starts asking you random questions about your day or just in general. He just wants you to look at him and talk to him ok?
Inumaki
Ok he’s a very different person depending on whether you’re in public or in private:
In public it’s a lot more subtle cues. Like fidgeting with your hands a lot, tugging on your clothes even or sometimes staring at you really trying to work up the puppy dog act like :( cuddles please?? Or if you’re sitting down somewhere maybe he’ll rest his head on his shoulder to really signal to you he’s feeling cuddly. There was only one time where he had to take drastic measures and text you cause you just were NOT taking the hint.
You were busy listening to Yuuji and rambling back and forth with him when your phone suddenly went off and it was a text from Toge that just said “🤨 give me 10 reasons why I don’t have you in bed right now cuddling with me.😐 since when did yuuji talking about dogs suddenly become so interesting 🧐?” LIKE ABSJAJSJAA
In private it’s a very similar attitude at times he’s just physically more bold. Like he’s not above picking you up and carrying you somewhere he can hold you and kiss all over your cheeks <3 he’s a little less bratty about it when it comes to you two cause he knows you want affection just as much as he does at those times :) although he thinks making a show of things is very funny to him
Nobara
Her favorite form of affection and attention from you is lowkey head pats or when you ruffle her hair. It all started when she did some trivial thing and as a joke you reached your hand over to ruffle her hair and tell her how good of a job she did, and sure it was funny but man what she wouldn’t give to have you do that again.
So now she often finds herself babbling on to you about all the things she’s done recently that she’s proud of when she wants your attention, hoping you’ll praise her again in any way. She especially loves when it’s unexpected though, when she’s not fishing for praise and she just gets it. Or rather any kind of compliment really. Something about it makes her heart soar <3
She also really likes when you do her makeup so she’ll often ask you to try things on her or to even do your makeup <3 even if you’re just playing around, it feels so soothing and she loves getting to stare at you so close I love her I gtg
Maki
She likes to pester when she’s feeling clingy. Checks in with you and any responsibilities you may have so she can immerse herself in them with you and just work on things with you :) like no matter what it is she’ll find a way to get herself involved 😭 she really just wants extra quality time with you and will find any way to do it without seeming too ~mushy, mushy just isn’t really her thing
When she wants to cuddle though she’ll try to trick you into thinking you need rest HSKJJAJA
“You seem tired, why don’t you rest. I’ll help you fall asleep.”
Or
“Hmm you look pretty sore. I’ll go run you a bath, sit and wait here.”
Acts of service anyone?
Also, praise is actually kind of important from you, she never really received it much growing up having dealt with her family, and doesn’t feel like she needs it to feel proud of herself. But something about hearing you praise her over even the tiniest things has her feeling some type of way every single time.
Y’all just love and cherish each other what can I say <3
Pls leave comments, flood my inbox, Rb, whatever u prefer I just love hearing your kind words :D love and miss these fools 😪 and as always I really hope you guys enjoyed my first jjk piece :)!
taglist: @plutowrites @aracynthos
if you wanna be added to any taglist just ask!
#itadori yuuji x reader#yuuji headcanons#fushiguro megumi x reader#megumi x reader#gojo x reader#gojo satoru x reader#nanami x reader#nanami headcanons#inumaki x reader#inumaki to/ge x reader#nobara x reader#nobara hcs#maki x reader#maki x y/n#yuji itadori x reader#fushiguro headcanons#fushiguro fluff#jjk x reader#jjk fluff#jjk headcanons#jjk <3
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Albus Dumbledore is the worst.
Albus Dumbledore was written to be a hero, and that's what makes him such a good villain. Almost everyone in the Wizarding World trusted him and thought he was so incredible and amazing, but in reality, he was playing a brilliant game of chess, using them all as his pawns.
How? Let's start from the beginning with Tom Riddle.
Dumbledore first met Tom when he was eleven, and even then, you could see the warning signs. Dumbledore did too. He saw that Tom was dangerous and unstable, and Dumbledore, being Dumbledore, wanted to give him a chance at Hogwarts.
But, Dumbledore, also, being Dumbledore, was the only one who saw who Tom really was, and only "kept an annoyingly close watch on him." He saw Tom Riddle, at the age of eleven saying "I can make bad things happen to people who annoy me. I can make them hurt if I want," and did not think to do anything about it.
He said to Harry in Chamber of Secrets that, "help will be given at Hogwarts to those who ask for it," yet, here we have Tom Riddle, who desperately needed help, and did not get it. Could Dumbledore have prevented Tom Riddle from becoming who he was? I'm not sure. Could he have helped him more while he was at Hogwarts? 100%
Next up, Sirius (and a bit of Remus)
One thing I never understood while reading the books was why Sirius had to spend twelve years in Azkaban when there were literally potions that forced you to tell the truth.
The truth is, unsurprisingly, Dumbledore wanted him there. By keeping Sirius in Azkaban, there was no way he could adopt Harry (who was legally his), and ruin Dumbledore's perfectly thought out plan of manipulating Harry. Dumbledore was a high-ranking member of the Wizengamot, if he managed to get Snape off, he surely could've gotten Sirius free too.
But unlike Snape, and Remus, and Hagrid, and Harry, Dumbledore couldn't use Sirius. Remus was a werewolf with no job prospects in the Wizarding World, and no Muggle qualifications either. He spent twelve years alone, as he watched his friends die or get sent to Azkaban. But then here comes Dumbledore, who gives him a job and a home when no one else would. And suddenly, Remus is loyal to Dumbledore.
Hagrid, a half-giant, was kicked out of Hogwarts in his third year for something he didn't do. But Dumbledore comes along and suddenly Hagrid has a home and job, and owes it to Dumbledore, ensuring his loyalty.
Even Snape, Dumbledore saved him from a lifetime in Azkaban prison, securing his loyalty too.
But Sirius, Sirius was different. He saw right through Dumbledore and his manipulation. He was a rebel and chose his path. A path that didn't involve Dumbledore, which is why he was stuck in Azkaban for twelve years, despite him being innocent. Because him being around would've messed up Dumbledore's plan to raise Harry to die, because there is no way in hell that Sirius would've allowed that to happen.
Finally, Harry Potter, himself.
Harry escaped death at the age of one and then was essentially kidnapped by Hagrid on Dumbledore's orders. While there's no proof, surely James and Lily would've written a will, especially considering they were living through a war with their son being the target for the greatest dark wizard of all time. I believe that Dumbledore pulled some strings (because remember, he was a member of the Wizengamot, and despite not holding the title of Minister for Magic, he was as good as, especially considering how incompetent they were), so he could be in charge of Harry's living arrangements and manipulate him further. Sirius Black was his legal guardian, being godfather and all, and yet Hagrid had "orders from Dumbledore," so he got stuck with the Dursleys.
Harry grew up in this abusive home where he was unwanted, neglected, and bullied, so when he eventually finds out about the Wizarding World, he sees it as a home, a safe haven, away from the Dursleys. He feels grateful to the Wizarding World for saving him from them. And when he has to go back at the beginning of summer, it's a reminder that it can all be taken away, so when Harry has to sacrifice himself to save the world he's come to love so much, of course, he does! Because why wouldn't he? It's his home.
Dumbledore could've left Harry with Remus, or the Weasley's, or the Longbottom's, or literally any other family, but the Dursley's made Harry easiest to manipulate.
And before anyone mentions Lily's blood wards, Dumbledore says in Order of the Phoenix: "You need return there only once a year, but as long as you can still call it home, there he cannot hurt you."
There was no reason for Harry to grow up in an abusive household, isolated from the Wizarding World, but it made Harry an easier pawn to manipulate in Dumbledore's game.
Similarly, when Harry is in school, he rewards Harry's saviour complex through house points. In Philosopher's Stone, the trio very clearly go against McGonagall's orders and put themselves in dangerous situations to 'save the day.' But instead of facing any punishment, they are rewarded via the House Cup, and Dumbledore is buying Harry's loyalty.
It's always Harry being the one to put himself into dangerous situations, never Dumbledore. Chamber of Secrets, Harry and Ginny both nearly die, but oh, thanks to Dumbledore's phoenix the day is saved! But wait, wasn't Dumbledore there the first time the Chamber was opened? Was there nobody else in the entire Wizarding World who could fix this mess, without having to rely on a twelve-year-old???
Prisoner of Azkaban. Why were Harry and Hermione the ones to rescue Sirius? Why couldn't Dumbledore do it himself? Goblet of Fire. You're telling me the 'most powerful wizard in the world' couldn't break the magical contract? In all honesty, he probably could, but he said it himself, he wanted to see what would happen. He was using Harry as bait. McGonagall seems to be the only person who cares about this poor boy's life. And then we have Order of the Phoenix. Where Dumbledore isolates himself from Harry, gets Snape to teach him Occlumency instead of doing it himself, which leads to Sirius's death, which I believe was planned (to an extent).
And at the end of Order of the Phoenix, Dumbledore comes 'clean,' saying that the reason he ghosted Harry for the entire year, was because 'he cared for him too much.' That he cared more about Harry's happiness than the safety of others, that he put Harry's life above the life of innocent people. He was telling Harry, who watched his godfather die in front of him, and blamed himself for it, that him being happy would lead to the deaths of others. Dumbledore's exact quote was, "What did I care if numbers of nameless and faceless people and creatures were slaughtered in the vague future, if in the here and now you were alive, and well, and happy." And of course, Dumbledore said this, because he knows Harry has a tendency to sacrifice himself for others, and as a result, he'll choose to die when the time comes.
Dumbledore kept Harry's inevitable death from him for sixteen years, five while he was at Hogwarts. And guess what? By this point, Harry was wrapped so tightly around Dumbledore's little finger, and wouldn't say no even if he could.
Harry Potter was raised like a pig for slaughter, by a man he trusted. And this makes me so angry. Harry Potter was seventeen when he walked into the forest alone, more than willing to die. He was seventeen when he and his friends fought in a war against people twice their age. He was seventeen when he saw some of those friends for the last time, watched them die fighting a war that none of them had seen the start of.
He was fifteen when he watched his godfather die before him, and blamed himself for it. He was fourteen when he watched Cedric Diggory die at the hand of Voldemort. He was twelve when he had to fight a basilisk and Tom Riddle single-handedly while trying to save himself and eleven-year-old Ginny Weasley. He was eleven and having to find and protect the Philosopher's Stone, the first 'test' of many. He was a child battling an adult's war, with no choice in the matter.
Dumbledore manipulated them all, so he could get children to fight his battles for him.
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💞 MC is a Genshin Simp 💞
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{ AN: Omg! This is my first ask so thank you anon (๑ↀᆺↀ๑)/!! This is such a vibe too haha, I hope you like it! } Warnings: None [Maybe Refs and Chars you wont get if you dont play Genshin Impact] * Probably a bit OOC too *
Reader: Gender-Neutral [Default]
( ⓛ ω ⓛ *)
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< Genshin Impact was a game that took the human realm by storm, with its open-world gameplay, its competitive PvE and aesthatic settings, it was truly something that captured you the moment the beta was announced. Although, as with any Gacha games, you weren’t only attracted to the world and its setting.
No no.
The characters were truly the main eye candy of the game. You’d been worried that when you had been sucked into Devildom, you wouldn’t be able to access the game due to, yknow, realm differences, but luckily that wasn’t the case thanks to Levi, and hence why the moment it dropped, you had been spending your life savings simping for characters on every banner.
Yknow theres handsome bois in devildom too... Theyre just kinda waiting for you to put your game down for a moment and kinda notice em ~((Φ◇Φ)‡ >
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ฅ⁽͑ ˚̀ ˙̭ ˚́ ⁾̉ฅ Lucifer
He usually doesn’t mind you playing games
Although, He would’ve preferred if you didn’t cause you kinda need to focus on your studies yknow?
But hey he’s not stopping you
Usually you would stay with him as he works, but he can’t seem to focus with you constantly begging beside him
Small little ‘please’ would be heard every now and then, and a sudden look of disappointment would show on your face.
He tried to ignore it, even giving little cues for you to quiet down, like clearing his throat
You didnt seem to pick up the hint though
He was just about to ask you what you were doing in the first place that has you praying beside him (which is hella rude) but your scream of happiness has him a little more irked and kinda taken back
“LUCIFER! I GOT HIM! LOOK LOOK I GOT HIM!”
You show him the screen showing your pull results
The character held a giant claymore with bright red hair
Before he can get another word in, you snatch your phone back and just sigh as if youd just had a heavenly (ironic) experience and mumble
“I seriously love him, Im so happy...”
Bro same though, Diluc pls come home
You were truly one of a kind, because youve just managed to break the Avatar of Pride’s... well.... Pride.
Did he just get cucked by a man in a video game?
Truly outrageous.
He seems to scoff and holds back a bit of an eye roll as he tries to focus back on his work
But boy oh boy, his salt is high
“If you are going to be causing a ruckus MC, May i suggest you doing it with Levi instead, I have no time for such games. I dont see why youre so caught up in such a character anyways, he looks quite basic.”
His words were sharp, and that was enough to shake you out of your fangirl/boy mode.
You were literally ready to fight the first born, a literal fucking fallen angel, for dissing Diluc like that
like
how dare
But then you notice how he seems to avoid your gaze and a small little red tint was on the tip of his ears.
Lucifer wouldve wanted to see you that happy with him, but no, a game character steals that spotlight.
Angey.
Instead of being intimidated by the sudden coldness, you giggle and finally close your phone and set it aside
You can continue celebrating and bragging about it later, for now, you wrap your arms around his arm and give him a small smooch on the cheek, which definitely makes him blush a tad bit
“Awww Luci dont be like that, Yknow I love you more”
Potential apocalypse has been diverted
But Lucifer does smile the smallest of smiles as he sighs, finding it silly to really get jealous over such a small thing and says
“I love you too, my dear... but you do have to make up for distracting me from my work...”
Well you kinda deserve it, so it wasnt long before both his work and your phone had been ditched
( After a while you do kinda see him quite similar to Diluc and it just makes you smile everytime you think about it, seems you have a thing for the strict cold men huh?)
===
Σ(‘◉⌓◉’) Mammon
Why you simping for a fictional character when you already have him?!
He’s your first man!
Your homie!
“Yeah well hes my first 5* so can you blame me?”
S A D N E S S
But for real, this man is just so clingy
He has heard from Levi that you were playing a new game from the human world, and of course, he had wanted to see what it was about by watching you play.
But since it was quite grind-heavy gacha game, he grew a bit bored and asked you to come with him to hang out somewhere else, or even go to the casino and gamble his money away cause he just got goldie back
But no matter what he suggests, you were just so focused on your grinding.
He’d prefer a different kinda grinding right about now with how lonely he is, ya feel me?
But no, you still werent interested.
“Oi! Cmon MC, whats even so important about this?”
“I already told you Mammon, Im grinding for primogems from the event! Theyre gonna be gone soon and I just HAVE to get them! Ugh I swear to Diavolo, if I dont, Imma cry! I didnt get him on their first banner too... ugh!”
Wait no--
Cmon he doesnt want you to cry!
Mammon kinda stays silent for a bit as he watches you struggle to fight the monsters with your low level team, frustration growing on your face.
But as you finish, Mammon seems to snatch your phone
“Hey! whats the big deal Mammon?!”
“Shut up and show me where the store is geez”
Mammon’s demands kinda surprises you and you raise an eyebrow at him, but you do show where it was, and sit back for a while as Mammon just fiddles around with it. You werent sure what he was doing honestly, was he interested? Did you say anything that made him act this way? All you talked about the game was the gacha system so--
oh…
OH
“Mammon! Wait you dont have to---”
“There! I got you as much primo things, or whatever theyre called”
He already has tossed you your phone back and he crossed his arms, looking away as the red blush covers most of his cheeks.
You look at your phone and you honestly felt your heart speed up and stop at the same time at the amount of primos on your account, it was enough for a full 180 pull! If you dont get the limited character on the first 50-50, you have another shot!
You felt your own heart speed up and your face burn so hard, but you do mumble him a quick “But... But why though?”
“Cuz! If you start cryin’ Lucifer’s gonna beat my ass! Dont think I did it for you, you human! I just dont want him taking away Goldie again!”
“But I thought this was your gambling money, isnt it?”
“w-well!... I mean... Hmph.. Gachas kinda like gambling right?, I know Lucifers gonna hang me if he catches me in the casino again anyways, so I thought I might as well just do this... with you...or whatever...” Hes dying, help
But so are you!
Hes too fucking cute and you just glomp him and just hug him as tight as you can!!
Flusterred boi 100
But you do spend you afternoon on his lap, both of you rolling the full 180 in excitement, whether you get that boi/gal you simped for on the banner or not, you still were happy to spend some time with Mammon
He doesnt mind losing a bit of cash for you
but you do promise to pay him back (maybe with a few kissy)
But to be honest, Gacha probably will help him with his gambling addiction...
kinda...
He doesnt go to casinos anymore but he does whale with you now
Lucifer has such a mix feeling with these results.
But he still confiscates Goldie and your card on the end, yall need to chill.
====
ヽ(。_°)ノ Leviathan
He probably wasn’t even interested on the game at first
He already has enough games to play, and it just looks like another rip off of some other game he saw not too long ago with that elf looking guy
But when you came to him asking for his help to get the game, you bet your ass that he felt a switch click
Suddenly it was incredibly interesting!
You do share your interests to him almost immediately
By interests, of course i mean the peeps you simp for
The sexy ara ara in the library of mondstat, the pirate looking ass of the guards, the pirate looking ass’s brother thats a wine owner and still highkey reminds you of Lucifer, the demon slayer--- You were actually unsure if you should talk about Xiao but hey hes cool
You explain it all!
From their lore to their voice lines and whatever
But honestly what do you expect from the Avatar of Envy?
Of course hes gonna be a bit jealous! He cant compare to any of these characters! Hes not as witty as that eye patch man, hes not as sophisticated as that red head, hes not as flirty as that ara ara either!
As you go on, you notice that Levi was kinda... half listening....
It made you pout, but then, it made you worried
Uh-oh you know that look
its that, ‘im overthinking’ look
So to snap him out of it, you kinda grab his face as gently as you can
“Need Grimm for your thoughts?”
He flushes and he immediately looks away, but you usher him to look at you as you coo and ask him whats wrong
It takes a bit till he kinda explains to you how hes feeling
In your relationship, you both were practicing being more open with each other, hence why you were proud of Levi for saying it
but you did feel kinda sad and frowned as he finishes explaining
“You... feel jealous?”
“Ugh d-dont say it out loud normie....”
He covers his face with his arm and you just cant help but shake your head with a fond smile, but you do need to address this and comfort him.
“Levi... when you fanboy about Ruri chan, did you ever think she was better than me?”
Your question made him frown and look at you in absolute worry
Did you actually think that you were below Ruri chan?
Of course hes an absolute simp for Ruri but.. cmon
Now that he thinks about it, he does talk about her a lot doesnt he? oh no...
“MC O-Of course not! I love Ruri chan yes, but you... I... I Love... you more...” Levi exe do be dying
But you smile at his response and gently kisses his cheek
“I think thats sweet Levi... But thats how I am too... Youre still better than any of these characters, youre real and they arent, youre mine and I am yours~ Youre my personal 5 star!” You wink at him and Levi just dips
his heart couldnt handle the cuteness and he died, ladies and gentlemen
but for real he did pass out
Must be from all the blood on his head from the blush
But ah, he does get it, and after being showered with love from you, He kinda slowly got over his jealousy
its not immediate but with simple reassurances, you can manage to reel him in and have fun with you
He does end up enjoying the game cause he gets to spend time with you, and he gets to show off when events happen
He also goes out of his way to memorize locations for materials for you, and when youre sick or busy, he pilots your account
true gamer
But ironically enough hed probably start simping for a character too and of course, you both start bonding over that, which just makes Levi absolutely happy
I wonder if hed simp for Barbara, she is an idol afterall like Ruri chan
Probably lowkey for now
Afterall she looks like a minor so-----
( I dunno i searched shes 16-18 lol )
But regardless, I can imagine you both just cosplaying each others fav characters too
Its a wack looking ship cosplay but yall just simp for each other cause of it, its pretty fun but the rest of the brothers just finds it hella weird
----
I only have energy for these 3 as always, Im sorry! But i promise Ill do the rest!! I hope you guys do enjoy, and Id love some feedback on the characters personalities cause I know they can be a bit Ooc, But feel free to send me an ask! Im pretty open lol 〜( ̄△ ̄〜)
#Obey me#Obey me x reader#Obey me x mc#Obey me shall we date#obey me Mammon x reader#Obey me Lucifer x reader#Obey me Leviathan x reader#Obey me fanfic#Obey me HCs#anon request
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Rainbow
X Drake x Reader | 100 Music Milestone Event
X Drake + 🔀 + Fluff + 🥚 | Requested by: @musical-apple
Ashes littered the ground, building remains scattered across the ruined city. A year has passed, and X Drake has come across a hand full of survivors left. Life began fading of it's meaning, everything he saw only grew grimmer with each passing day. Though, when all hope was on it's final edge, he found you.
You were rummaging through the rubble, a smile on your face and humming a little tune. The sight was so out of place, Drake thought this had been a hallucination or a trick someone set up. Cautious, he placed his hand on the handle of the sword that rested at his side before approaching you.
"Excuse me, miss?" Drake spoke so he wouldn't startle you.
"Hm?" You looked up to meet his blue eyes. "Oh! Another survivor!" You immediately stood up and stumbled over the junk to him. "Hi there, I'm [Y/n]! I- woah!" You tripped over something braced yourself for impact but instead, you felt strong arms around your torso. You glance up and saw Drake had caught you in his arms. You bashfully smile and stand up straight and back away. "Sorry 'bout that, it's been a while since I've seen someone new."
"It's... It's alright miss."
"Oh no need to be formal, you already know my name."
"Right..." Drake deadpanned. He didn't understand how you can be so cheerful with the current post-apocalyptic situation around you. Then again, maybe you were just happy to see another person, it was a natural thing to do after being alone for so long. "How long has it been since you last saw someone?"
"Not long ago actually."
There goes his theory.
Clearing his throat, Drake held out his hand. "My name is X Drake."
"Nice to meet you, X Drake." You smile and shake his hand. "Tell me, do you have a place to stay, or are looking for one?"
"I've been roaming around to see how many survivors there are."
"Oh! That's perfect! Come, come!" You pulled his arm and begin walking towards a wagon you had stock up with supplies. Grabbing it and trailing it behind you, lead him to the outskirts of the ruined city you two have just been in. You could see the place had more space and tidy up, a few plants growing here and there-
"Is that [Y/n]?" A child's voice whispered.
"[Y/n]'s back!" Another kid cheered, coming out of a large makeshift tent.
"Yay! [Y/n]!"
"Welcome back [Y/n]!"
A bunch of children came out, greeting you with smiles and hugs. You laughed, acknowledging each one that came to you. A few of the older ones reported what went on while you were gone and you praised them for their good work. X Drake stood there in shock, he didn't know so many children had survived.
"[Y/n], who is that funny-looking man over there?" a little girl asked, tugging on your arm and pointing at the male you brought with you.
"This is X Drake," you introduce the children to him, patting his shoulder.
"Is he going to be staying with us?" a boy with raven hair asked, sparkles in his eyes. A few other children joined in, looking up at both of you with wide smiles.
Drake hesitated on answering them, he wasn't exactly planning on settling down yet. He planned on continuing his search for more survivors, or rather a purpose in this wasteland. You noticed the uncertainty in his composer, to be fair, you had just dragged him over to your camp without telling him anything so it was understandable.
"Nothing is set in stone but why don't we show him around and make him feel welcome," you suggested to the children.
"Yeah!"
"Okay [Y/n]-chan!"
"Good idea!"
Two children grabbed a hold of his hands, pulling him along as they showed him the campsite with the rest of the kids. From where they gathered rainwater to where they held medical supplies, Drake had been impressed the place was so well organized. One question bugged his mind, where were the other adults? Surely you weren't the only one, right?
Sundown approached, a few young teens came with animals they caught, surprised by Drake's presence but welcomed him nonetheless. Preparing dinner was a team effort and they did it with a smile on their face, sharing merry laughter. Their cooperation was more efficient than the majority of the survivor groups Drake had come across, which consisted of adults.
That's one of the reasons why Drake kept moving, most of the colonies people formed collapsed on themselves from disagreement and distrust. The ones that were somewhat stable weren't exactly welcoming to newcomers, he didn't blame them after all not every stray was trustworthy in this day and age. However, these children appeared to be the exact opposite of what he experienced in the other groups. He wanted to know where the other adults were, and he would've asked you but you seemed to have your hands full assisting one of the children with something.
"Hey, mister-"
"Onion, his name is Deric." A boy with green hair interrupted his friend who wore glasses.
"No, it's not," a boy with purple hair butted in. "[Y/n] said his name was Drake."
"Oh..."
Drake cleared his throat to regain their attention to see what they needed.
"Can you help hold the stew pot?" The boy who Drake assumed to be named Onion requested. "The others are starting to get tired."
"Of course." Drake obliged, and watched as the kids served everyone as he held the object for them. Just as the last of the kids were receiving their servings, you came over.
"Oh, thank you for helping the kids." You smiled to show your gratitude, and Drake couldn't help but rub the back of his neck bashfully due to your cute expression.
"It's no problem really." The question Drake had popped up in his mind and he thought this was the best time to ask. "[Y/n], are there any adults around here other than you?"
"Uh- well... no, not really," you tell him, your demeanour dropping down slightly. "These kids-"
"[Y/n]! [Y/n]!" the children called, catching your attention. "Come sing for us!" "Yeah!"
"Alright." You glance at Drake and put a hand on his arm. "I'll tell you later."
Getting a nod from the man, you then walk over to the children who were gathered in a circle. Some had finished their bowls of stew and started getting comfy as they waited for you, each one was filled with anticipation. Wearing a smile, you knelt down and boop a little girl's nose, beginning to sing.
"I know you, you're a special one"
You shift yourself back to the rest of the child, opening yours for them to come and hug you.
"Some see crazy where I see love"
Two small kids come to you and you scoop them up, spinning them around in the air.
"You fall so low but shoot so high"
You let one sit on your shoulders while the other stays in your arms, and you nod your head to the orange sky.
"Big dreamers shoot for open sky"
Turn the child in your arms so you can see their eyes and boop their nose.
"So much life in those open eyes"
Gently you put the two children down.
"So much depth, you look for the light"
You crouch down, opening your palm to show scratches and scars on them.
"But when your wounds open, you will cry"
A small girl slowly approach your hand and touches them, curiously looking in your eyes as you tuck a loose strand of hair behind her ear.
"You'll cry out now and you'll question why"
You pick up the small girl and rocket her to sleep as you continue singing the melody.
"I can see a rainbow
In your tears as they fall on down
I can see your soul grow
Through the pain as they hit the ground
I can see a rainbow
In your tears as the sun comes out~
As the sun comes out~"
Drake watches in amazement, witnessing how your gentle nature soothes the children. Blissful smiles grew on the kids face, some swayed to your tune, others yawned and rested their head on the one beside them. Though, what captivated him had been the sound of your soft voice and the way words would flow from out of your lips. As you sung, he had almost forgotten the post-apocolyptic lifestyle he was in.
When the last note left your lips, the eldest children of the group who didn't fall asleep began to carry the sleeping kids to the tent. You smiled, proud to see them taking care of the others. Your thoughts were interrupted by Drake humming in thought, who was also watching the teens take the younger kids to the large tent.
"Ah, right, I suppose we didn't finish our conversation..."
"It's alright, your main concern for the children so I can understand," Drake stated before turning his gaze to you.
"The children... don't have anywhere to go," you inform him. "Most lost their parents or family, and you've seen the other survival groups. They don't have children... they don't want them... People think a child will slow them down in this life, but they're not looking in the long run. These kids are our future generation, our hope for humanity to continue. I... I just have to take care of them, give them a reason to keep going. I have to stay positive for them... I have to be their rainbow." You face lost that glimmer of joy, displaying one that held struggle and worry.
So that's why you had been smiling, you were putting on a brave face for the children. It makes sense, but Drake is amazed how one could stay like that for so long, it must get tiring. Hesitantly, he spoke up.
"I can't imagine how hard it can be..." Drake told you and a few seconds of silence followed before he continued. "You're stronger than most of my old co-workers."
"Oh?"
"Yeah, I was a cop before this whole mess..."
"Ah... that's cool..."
"What were you back then?"
"I didn't really have anything... I was broke, in debt, about to lose my house... in a way... this new life is better."
Drake never believed someone out there would say those words, however, hearing her reasons it did make sense. He didn't think of looking at the positive this life had brought. Prehaps if he stayed his mindset could change.
"Do you think there's enough room for another person to settle here?" Drake asked rubbing the back of his neck.
"Of course, there's always room for you to stay." You smile, answering him.
An MLP song + an apocalyptic wasteland + wholesome & adorable children, if that's not a cracked combination than I don't know what is.
Anyway, thank you for reading, your request, and your follow ^-^
#one piece#one piece au#one piece scenario#one piece x reader#one piece oneshot#one piece x y/n#one piece x you#x drake x reader#x drake#one piece x drake#post apocalyptic#post apocalypse#post apocalypse au#request#milestone event#requested
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Teacher’s Pet (Remus Lupin x Reader) Part 6 SMUT
Summary: (Y/N) wants to be a professor at Hogwarts. Dumbledore offers her a chance to intern and figure out what she wants to do… hopefully she’ll make it through the year.
Pairing: Remus Lupin x FemReader
Warnings: Age gap, SMUT and language.
A/N: So idk I kinda hate this... idk why 😂 but the overwhelming consensus was smut so TA-DA! - S
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It was almost comical how quickly things had changed between the two. Somethings remained similar, like the playful flirting and the stolen glances were still there... but ever since their kiss, the tension in the air was thick enough that it could be cut with a knife. There just wasn’t enough time or privacy in the day to replicate the circumstances in the few days following. It wasn’t like they were really in the position to entertain a proper label or schedule; Remus flirted with the idea of asking her on a proper date, but that wasn’t exactly practical. Remus didn’t know which was worse: feeling like he hadn’t been permitted to act on his desires or rather knowing how it felt to give in and physically not be able to.
Remus’ lips twitched into a small grin when he saw (Y/N) smile at him from a few pieces of parchment. He watched as discreetly as he could, still trying to give as much attention as he could to the task he had at hand. Honestly, he wondered how (Y/N) was possibly juggling the workload she had... especially recently. He’d often see her running around like a chicken with its head cut off, sprinting from classrooms all over the castle. He’d seen her bring homework assignments with her to dinner and it seemed that in the past week or so the piles were getting bigger. It hadn’t really occurred to the man how much of the time they spent together happened during schooling hours or the occasional walk at night, but he hadn’t seen her outside office hours in what seemed like awhile.
Remus knew he was probably doing this for more selfish reasons. Honestly it was probably more of a chance to get her alone and to himself. An argument could be made that it was to give the struggling young woman a break though. Remus made his way over to her once he had his student working on something that didn’t require his complete attention. Wand movements usually did the trick. In a low voice he simply suggested, “If you’re feeling a little rebellious, meet me on the fourth floor tonight when everyone is in bed.”
Remus hadn’t been able to get any verbal confirmation before being summoned back to his responsibilities, but judging by the mischievous glint in her eyes he had assumed the answer to be a yes. He had very much looked forward to it all day, and he was more than please to see (Y/N) already waiting for him. She smiled sheepishly at him, “Guess I was a little early.”
He didn’t blame her, he would’ve been a bit earlier himself had he not misplaced his wand briefly. Remus chalked it up to feeling like a teenager again with the sneaking out and around, with all of the excitement an old habit of losing his belongings was bubbling up too. “Seems like I was running a bit late. Come on, I have somewhere in mind you might enjoy.”
(Y/N) eagerly followed him to a mirror, and though she didn’t often find herself avoiding mirrors she didn’t know if she’d go as far as to say she enjoyed them. It wasn’t very long at all though that Remus was carefully moving a mirror that revealed a passageway that had been carved out. Once the two had ducked into the clandestine hallway and he had lit up the darkness with the tip of his wand, Remus replaced the mirror. “Whoa! I didn’t know this existed!”
It was common knowledge there were many secret passageways hidden in Hogwarts. The location of which were less known, but if that had been common knowledge too they would no longer be secret. “James and- my friends used to have a knack for finding these things.”
“You all must’ve done quite a bit of sneaking out, huh?” She joked while following the passageway down a little bit.
“A fair share of it sure... though we weren’t supposed to tell anyone.” Remus wasn’t lying, but he knew that on more than one occasion James and Sirius used a few of these passages to impress a pretty girl. He supposed he was just a little late on the trend.
“Well, I won’t tell if you don’t. Where does this go?” (Y/N) asked out of pure curiosity, though now that she thought about it, it was probably good practice to know where you were going.
“It comes out right outside of Hogsmeade. Of course that’s a long walk, I know.”
“Well, that’s okay. I feel like I could use a break.” She smiled and began walking with Remus. (Y/N) felt like she’d gotten a good bit better at juggling what had left her so overwhelmed her first week officially working at Hogwarts. However, these past couple of days had been a little hectic and she should’ve 100% been grading those homework assignments McGonagall asked if she could take on, but couldn’t refuse the offer.
Remus quite fond of the walk they shared. He asked about her years at Hogwarts and her family and she inquired the same. He didn’t think he could recall the last occasion he’d really taken the time to get to know someone or had them try and do the same. By the time they reached the end of the passageway, (Y/N) knew that he was an only child and had quite the sweet tooth even as a boy. He knew that conversely she came from quite a large family, but she’d agree that dessert was definitely the best course.
The room they’d arrived in was quite large, but it was obviously that anyone who knew of its location has long abandoned it. It showed no signs of any visitors in probably years. Still, (Y/N) found it to be quite a fun visit. A little dusty sure, but nothing a quick flick of her wand couldn’t fix. “Well, now that we’re here what are your plans?”
“Right...” Remus didn’t think that far ahead, which he would like to say was a bit unusual. Of course the ultimate goal had been to spend alone time with her, but now that was accomplished... “I ought to be better prepared ne-“
She was well aware it was rude to interrupt people, but she she would do it anyways. (Y/N) stood on her toes and grabbed hold of the front of his sweater and yanked Remus down to her level. She thought the act of crashing her lips into his might’ve been a little sexier had she not been so short in comparison. Remus however did not mind one bit hunching down to her level. This thought had definitely crossed his mind, but hadn’t want to be too forward. Now that he thought about it, he should’ve seen it coming. (Y/N) was very forward with what she wanted. Back at the Three Broomsticks she’d commented that she didn’t make the first move, but he supposed that wasn’t entirely true. He wasn’t complaining though. It was quite the opposite as he immediately responded, kissing her back and circling his arm around her.
(Y/N) broke away with a wide grin, “That wasn’t your plan?”
Remus chuckled, and straightened himself out, “No, but I’m always open to suggestions.”
(Y/N) pulled away leaving Remus quite confused. Perhaps she was annoyed it hadn’t been his sole intention to snog the woman. He felt better when she made her way to a wooden table set in the center on the room. He was certain she would sit down but instead she turned to face him. A small moment of hesitation seemed to cross her mind before she spoke, “I hope you wouldn’t think too little of me if I confessed this had been my plan...”
(Y/N) wasn’t lying. She’d desperately been hoping for an uninterrupted moment alone and wanted to be prepared in case she got that moment. Now that she had it well she hoped it wouldn’t be entirely too fast for the man.
Remus watched as she kicked off her shoes. She then pulled her shirt over her head and her pants had been the next article of clothing to follow. The undergarments that had now been exposed to him were quite nice to look at, especially with the model wearing them. The way the lace laid so perfectly against her skin made his heart beat just a tad bit faster and left him staring, or better yet ogling her. He felt a little lame, just standing there. He had hoped, counted on being close to (Y/N). He’d hoped they would’ve had a chance to - This just far exceeded what he’d hoped to accomplish.
It also wouldn’t have been untrue to say he’d been a little out of practice. Not new or naive to the subject, but it definitely wasn’t something he did on the regular. He normally was well aware of the fact it was nothing to be ashamed of, but did feel himself grow a little uncomfortable with the fact as she stood there in front of him. He definitely hoped he wouldn’t disappoint.
Staring was probably a better sign than him getting up and walking away. (Y/N) did wish he’d say something though. She felt so entirely vulnerable and was now a little fearful of rejection... “Too much?”
Her voice snapped Lupin back to reality. Her face showed she was starting to feel uncomfortable, and Remus felt terrible. That had definitely not been his intention. He decided it best if he just shut off his head and led his instincts take over.
In an instant he was in front of her, lifting her into the table bringing her to a much more comfortable height for him. His lips were on hers and if the first kiss had been good, well this one had been amazing. (Y/N)’s confidence quickly regained and excitement took over knowing exactly where this was going. Her legs parted, allowing her the opportunity for Remus to settle between them and her to pull him closer.
Remus’ hands met the bare skin of her thighs and traveled up and down her leg. The skin of his hands was so rough comparatively, but the contrast felt so unfamiliar and welcome. (Y/N) couldn’t help but be hyper aware of everywhere he touched and everywhere she wanted him to do so. Patience was a virtue wearing thin on her at the present moment and she found her hands quickly pulling the cost from his shoulders and working a few buttons on the shirt that he was wearing underneath. She was much too impatient to care enough to rid him of the entire shirt, once a few buttons were undone and it had been untucked she gave up on the task. She favored dipping her hands underneath the fabric, she just wanted to touch. Remus shivered a bit against her fingertips.
(Y/N) abandoned his mouth and trailed her kisses towards his neck. Remus was being absolutely driven mad by the nibbling. A gasp interrupted her and Remus smirked as his fingers carefully brushed against her clothed core. His touch was so light it could’ve almost been construed as an accident, if the knowing look hadn’t completely given him away. Ever the tease, and partially because he was no where near done with her, Remus didn’t give any indication there would be a follow-up. He moved his hand up actually and drug his fingertips lightly across her shoulders and chest, outlining the bra she was wearing. She arched into him, whimpering just a bit; she had no idea Remus Lupin was such a tease and she wasn’t sure she’d be able to handle it. (Y/N) had never been one to beg in the bedroom, of course she’d never really been with anyone taking such time and care; it was usually a heated spur of the moment type of setting (kind of what she expected from this). Still, there was a first time for everything, “Please touch me...”
Really Remus could’ve been content sitting there doing nothing but stand there and egg her on. It would’ve been torture for him too, but listening to the noises she made and feeling her breath quicken under his fingertips would’ve made it worth it. But her plea was too much, and Remus not only felt obligated but he wanted to oblige her request. Reaching behind he unclasped her bra and threw the unnecessary article to the side. He placed a chaste kiss to her lips before getting right to what she wanted.
(Y/N) felt like he was setting his skin on fire, everywhere his skin met hers like a flame had been held to it. Remus’ lips trailed from her neck to her shoulders and finally... her breath hitched when he made it to her breasts. Though she didn’t have much time to think about the way his tongue flicked over her nipple, because almost simultaneously he’d pushed her underwear to the side and his fingers brushed against her again. “Fuck...” She hissed.
Remus used his thumb to rub circles across the bundle of nerves and sank another inside of her, and relished the way her hips bucked against his hand. The way she arched herself into him... Remus couldn’t help but imagine how good how much better it would feel to have his cock buried deep inside her rather than his fingers, especially when he felt her clench around his digit. He didn’t know how much more her could handle, so without a second thought when she asked her obliged, he gladly accommodated.
Remus withdrew his hands from her body and unbuttoned his trousers in record time, and in less than a minute his hardened cock was able to spring out of its confines. (Y/N) watched him almost as intently as he’d watched her. She was much too excited to just stare though. She’d thought about this more than she’d care to admit and after already having a taste of what he could do she jumped to her feet in front of him. (Y/N) had been ready to return the favor (plus a little extra), but even though the idea sounded heavenly Remus just didn’t have the patience.
Given her stature it wasn’t a hard task to turn her around and bend her over the table. Once she’d been fully laid across the table, only the tips of her toes touched the floor. It left her feeling rather small and like she was completely at his mercy, but the vulnerability just seemed to heighten her senses. She let out a low sigh of anticipation when she felt him line himself up with her entrance.
Remus felt a flash of reluctancy... this young woman had seen parts of him that people hadn’t in quite a long time. He didn’t think he could possibly pull himself away from her at this point, but should he try? He didn’t think, no he knew he couldn’t give her what she deserved outside. Her impatience put an end to his internal sabotaging, “Remus, I’m not sure how much longer I can wait.”
His response she quite enjoyed. A moan left both of their mouths as he entered her. She felt her insides stretching to accommodate the most pleasant of intrusions. Then he pulled out almost completely before thrusting back in earning a cry of approval from the woman beneath him. (Y/N)’s imagination couldn’t compare to the real thing and she hoped she would be able to remember every detail on his hands digging into her hips holding her still and the drag of his cock as he pulled out, or how amazingly full she felt when he slammed back in hitting spots she hadn’t been truly aware of herself.
Remus’ name fell from her lips like a prayer, a praise, a chant and he couldn’t think of a single thing he enjoyed hearing more in that moment. His rhythm was starting to suffer, but he was hanging on her dear life. As soon as he felt her body spasming around him, he let go. Emptying himself inside of her and feeling a joyous release of pleasure and pressure that had been building inside of him.
Remus stayed still for a moment before summoning the strength to pull out. His breath was labored and (Y/N) was also trying to catch her breath. “I think I might need just a moment before that hike back.”
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#harry potter imagine#fanfics#harry potter marauders#fanfiction#imagines#harry potter smut#remus lupin x y/n#remus lupin x reader#remus lupin smut
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Flutter
Fandom: Devil May Cry
Contains: pregnancy talk (kinda), angst, and drama
Pairing: Dante x GN!Reader
Word Count: 4.8k
Warnings: mentions of pregnancy and a brief mention of terminating (like a sentence but still)
Back on my bullshit with the baby fics lol. I love the trope idk why.
Thump thump thump-thump thump thump
Dante stirs with a huff of annoyance, his ears twitch focusing on the insufferable rhythm that was stopping him from resting. It started a few hours ago. Nothing major, something he could definitely doze through. The slow irregular was almost calming, until it got louder. At first he had chalked it up to one of the many freaky experimental weapons dangling in Nico’s tiny workspace at the back of the crowded van. They tended to pop and hiss if some raw materials got too close. But it had picked up in the past hour, growing consistent and strong, really strong. Strong enough to make it hard to ignore. Dante cracks open a bloodshot eye looking around at the van’s occupants to find the culprit.
Nero sat oblivious to the world on the floor across from him leaning on the side of the van’s tire well. His eyes are shut, and his face relaxes as the adrenaline of the day finally starts to seep out of his system. He nods his head along to the tunes blasting out of the jukebox in the corner. He was oblivious to the accusatory glare of his uncle. Dante crosses the kid off as the likely suspect of his annoyance. Nero looked about ready to pass out, each bobble of his head becoming more erratic and jerky as sleep started to take over. He clearly wasn’t hearing this.
So, he turns to the front of the van to check on the others. The ladies were chatting idly in the front. Nothing super exciting gossip wise. The three of them were tossing little jabs at each other. Well, Lady and Trish were, Nico was hiding a smirk behind a freshly lit cigarette as the two grew heated. The three of them called it “friendly bitching” but he still wasn’t all that sure. Whenever Lady or Trish used that tone with him he was about to either get robbed eight ways to Sunday by one of them or his ass kicked. The two human women seemed oblivious to the noise...perhaps Trish heard it? Hmmm-nah. Trish didn’t seem to notice the steady thumping that had now become a hyper fixation to him.
Huffing the hunter settles back down in the couch cushions of the couch to look out the window at the blur of the scenery passing by. The hum of the van’s engine and the low roar of the A/C were almost enough to drown out the noise filling his skull. He pops a finger in his ear digging out some wax. Did that smack across the head early knock something? Did a gun go off too close? Wait... shouldn’t he hear ringing if that was the case? Ye, the more he focused on it, it wasn’t inside his head. He checks out the window, his hand itching for a gun. Was a demon really that dumb to follow a van filled with demon hunters? He snorts at his question. Of course, they were. He was pretty sure they had finished the contract with a 100% kill count. Still, he checks out the window, just in case.
“I’m guessing you hear it too?” Vergil stirs from his meditative stupor, popping his neck with a satisfying grunt before turning his gaze to Dante. All of his younger brother’s squirming finally got too much for him to ignore. Vergil focused on his sibling, arms crossed over his freshly bandaged chest. “Really?” He looks down to his lap in disgust. Dante smirks, wiggling his muddy boots where they rested crossed on his thighs.
“What can I say? You’re ridiculously comfy.” Dante smirks. He knew his dick of a brother would threaten to stab him for dirtying his clothes, but he had a trump card, and he was going to use it. They both look down at your sleeping form sprawled on Dante’s chest and a part of Vergil's legs. You lay on him, curled up in a neat little ball on his chest. A dark spot grew beneath where your cheek was squished on his cotton shirt. Dante can’t help the smile that creeps across his face. He pulls his signature coat tighter around you and strokes your face with a only slightly grimy finger. Vergil sighs, settling back down, careful not to wake you either. He had a big ol’ sweet spot for you, and damn Dante couldn’t blame him.
Thumpthumpthumpthumpthump
Dante hisses, pulling away from your peaceful expression, jealous for a brief moment that your weak human hearing couldn’t pick up on the invasive noise. “You sense where it’s coming from?” He rumbles low in his chest, careful not to disturb you. His brother sits silently for a moment wiping at his drowsy eyes. Dante watches his ear twitch minutely picking up on every sound in the immediate vicinity.
“No, I-” His head snaps back to Dante so fast he was surprised Vergil didn’t give himself whiplash. His silver eyes are wide with shock for a moment before softening to an expression Dante only saw when he would talk with Kyrie over dinner. It was warm, protective, and far too gentle a face for him to be pulled out for him. Dante looks back over his shoulder on instinct before it hits him, hard. Vergil wasn’t looking at him, he was looking at you. Oh shit, oh shit.
Dante focuses his senses on you before he had been merely using his broad range listening figuring it was an outside threat. He smells you first, your natural scent was a soft and sweet thing, like moss by a river bed, or freshly turned soil. It only got earthier after a day of hard work. The faint scent of gunpowder lingered on you too, and something else, something more hormonal and almost floral. Beneath your changing scent, he hears your heart thumping steadily in your chest. That was always a comforting sound to him, an anchor whenever he worried for your safety. But underneath it, he heard it. It was a rapid rhythm over yours, in you.
Dante jerks up, tumbling to the floor and cracking his head hard on the metal guards of the stairs. You would have toppled with him if Vergil hadn’t lunged to grab you. “What?” You look around confused but alert. The van is silent in the aftermath of the sudden burst of energy, all faces now turned to the three of you. Vergil holding you close to his chest while you focus on Dante. “You ok?” You look him over, noticing how pale he suddenly was as he looked at you. He was breathing heavily and panicked. His silver-grey eyes flitting between yours and up to Vergil’s.
“Ye,” He croaks, running a hand through his dirty hair not moving from his spot on the dirty floor. “Ye-shit, sorry just slipped in my sleep.”
“Quite a ‘slip’.” You wiggle out of Vergil’s hold and come to bend over Dante. You put the back of your hand to his forehead. You had all gotten pretty banged up this mission, and as usual, Dante had taken the brunt of it. He laughs a little too forcefully to be considered natural and pushes your hand away to get up.
“You know me. I’m full of surprises.” He flops back onto the couch looking at you oddly before opening his arms up to you. He fights against the tremble he feels spreading across his whole body.
You catch the sour look growing on Vergil’s face, it was boiling over to murderous. He shakes his head before sitting back in his spot and reaching for a magazine.
“Everything alright back there?” Nico shouts looking up into the rearview mirror.
“Yeh-yeh.” Dante waves not taking his eyes off you. “Just my old man senses getting to me.” The van collectively snorts at that, all turning back to what they were originally doing. Picking up his discarded coat you climb back into the cradle of your boyfriend's arms.
Boyfriend. You smile into his sweaty neck. It was a new term for both of you and your relationship. You two have been skirting around the idea of a committed relationship for months now. You’ve been with the gang for years now, flitting in and out of each other's life mission after mission as a freelance mercenary. Dante welcomed you into the fold of his merry band of misfits well enough, but you could see the line in the sand he drew pretty easily.
You respected it. Life in this business was hard and sometimes very short. He was slow to open up and trust, not with just you, but anyone. You got it, you understand his hesitation. Once you both established that the feelings you felt for each other went beyond good friends the lines and walls he built began to fade. The few months of you two trying out the word have been going well. Or, at least you thought so. Dante seemed pleased enough too. The few dates you two were able to scrap your collective pennies together for were a blast. Spontaneous coffee dates, walks down none demon-infested streets and parks. Once he even took a weekend off to go cross country with you. That weekend had been the most relaxed you had ever seen him, and as a bonus, the sex had been phenomenal too.
“You ok?” You kiss the stubble on his strong jaw, taking in the hard look in his eyes. His arms were rigid around you, protective yet also isolating. He looked shut-off, lost deep in his mind back in that place you knew he went whenever something was deeply troubling him. Dante said nothing for a moment, his large palm rubbing your lower back in stiff robotic movements. “Dante?”
He snaps out of it with a jerk. “Ye babe- just tired.” He kisses the worry from your brow and slips back into your original position, arms locking securely over your middle. He listens to your breathing and heart slow as you drift off, the little thumping underneath beating on.
From the moment Dante stepped out of the van he shut down. Not just from you, but everyone. He wasn’t sure if it was intentional or just instinct after years of protecting himself. He noticed it happening from afar like he was on the sidelines and completely unable to control what he was doing. He took job after job that Morrison threw at him, not waiting for backup or help. He began staying in his room, slinking upstairs instead of his usual hang out spot down in his office to be social. He just leaves everyone behind. He knows Lady and Trish will blow it off, they were used to the odd mood swing by now, chalking it up to mission fatigue. You knew better though, and he loved you for it. Even if it irritated him right now.
The first few days after that mission Dante saw you trying to pretend like you didn’t notice the walls he was rebuilding around himself. He wanted to believe that you couldn’t see how he turned up the jukebox every time you stepped into Devil May Cry, or that you pretend not to notice how his eyes would drift to look at anything but you when you stood in front of him. It hurt, it hurt to do this, but he couldn’t stop this self sabotage he was inflicting on himself and the stress he was pushing onto you. He just couldn’t take it.
He saw his mother every time he looked at you, could smell the ash and sulfur, could remember how his young lungs filled with smoke as he cried for something he could never get back while his childhood burned around him. He couldn’t do it, so he stopped seeing you. Not that it helped much. He heard the beating every time you came near trying to talk to him, so he stopped listening too. He didn’t know what else to do.
“If you put your hair back I swear I wouldn’t be able to tell you apart from your brother anymore, especially with that new attitude you're sporting.” Dante hears the slight edge in your voice. You sat in your now usual spot on the edge of his desk, before that day his lap would have been filled with your warm sweet body. You didn’t look happy in the least bit. You looked exhausted. He doesn’t look up from his magazine, a slow buzz of panic begins to fill his ears. Were you sick? Did you know?
He puts up another wall. “Doubt it,” He flips a page of his magazine reaching blindly for his beer. “I’m still the better looking one.” More silence. Dante feels your hard stare from where you sat.
“Need something?”
Your shoulders slump. “No-it’s nothing Dante.” He feels himself break just a little at the moisture threatening to spill from your lashes before they are blinked away. You leave without saying goodbye. He doesn’t see you again after that, your spot is soon replaced with piles of empty bottles.
“I expected better from you.”
Dante chokes on his beer, the foam shooting up into his nose and bringing tears to his eyes as it burns its way back to his throat. “Damn it, Vergil! Knock sometime?” His brother says nothing storming over to his desk and kicking a chair out to sit next to him. The look on his face was venomous. “Don’t give me that look.” Dante sighs, popping the cap off of another beer bottle.
“What look?”
Dante waves the butt of his bottle at him. “That! That look. It’s the one you always give me right before you stab me.”
Vergil chuckles humourlessly. “I just might if you continue to ignore your growing issue.” He pushes leaning into Dante’s space.
Dante bristles feeling like a trapped dog. “They should find out on their own-”
“Brother-”
Dante cuts him off with a swipe of his hand, amber liquid sloshing over his desk and lap. He feels his control slipping. The heat of his devil form simmering just below the surface. “I don’t want to talk about this.” I don’t want to acknowledge this.
“It’s been weeks.” Vergil presses on lean in close to his twin. “Will there ever be a right time?”
Dante bares his fangs in warning. His fingers itching to curl up and punch his brother. “That is rich coming from you. Remind me again, how many times have you tried to kill your son?” He meant for it to hurt, to let that barb sink in deep and fester. Vergil doesn’t even react, his gaze still cool and steady.
“I regret it-in parts. But I am not doing this for you.” Dante frowns. He had figured that. When Vergil arrived with Dante all those months ago torn up and bloodied from quite literally crawling out of Hell the welcome he got from the crew had been...lukewarm to put it mildly. They weren’t openly hostile, but it got pretty close sometimes. Only you and Nero had been pleasant to his brother right off the bat. The others came around eventually, but Vergil had taken a real shine to you. You were inquisitive and hungry to prove yourself, but smart enough to know when to back down. It’s what drew him to you, so it would make sense Vergil liked it too. “I cannot change my past actions, nor would I,” Dante scoffs. “But you have been given yet another opportunity that I envy.” He looks over his shoulder to the empty office. He couldn’t lie and say that he didn’t still envy his younger brother and his successes. To be free-to have had a life, dare he say to act almost human? Dante had always been the friendlier and kinder of the two, even as kids. He was sociable and street smart. Most importantly, people trusted him.
Then he found you, a most extraordinary mate. Vergil knew Dante would never admit it vocally but he shows his love with how he acts around you. Dante was always brash and foolhardy but he was milder with you. Whenever you were in the room his sole focus was always on you. His eyes, his body, every part of his being just seemed to gravitate to you. Whenever you paced, pissed from a recent job he would follow in his chair rolling left and right to keep his body in line with you. Even on the field, he stayed close, a towering figure of red and flames. To have him cast you out like this... Vergil shakes his head. “Why are you stalling?” He asks.
“They should find out on their own,” Dante repeats himself.
“And what if they decide not to tell you? What if they decide not to go through with it? You are limiting their time frame, Dante. You are putting them both in danger.” Vergil’s words strike deep. If he can’t get his brother to see reason now, then he will have to intervene. If Dante never forgave him for this transgression, then so be it.
The roar of primal rage was the only warning Vergil got before he was airborne. His back colliding hard against the old oak bookshelves across the room, Dante’s splintered desk pinning him for a moment before he is being dragged up the shelves by his neck. Empty bottles and old tomes clatter to the floor. He matches his brother’s energy shifting in a blaze of blue fury until he faces his red counterpart. “You lash out, why? Because you know I’m right?” He hisses around bared razor sharp fangs. “Do you hope they will leave you?” Something passes through Dante’s scleraless eyes. “It won’t be like before, brother.”
The whine Dante emits sounds like a wounded animal. It was high and reedy, it was filled with turmoil. Vergil couldn’t stop the sharp bark of laughter that fell from his lips. Unbelievable. “Dante.” Vergil grabs one of the claws locked around his throat. “For all your foolish and idiotic behavior you have built yourself a family. Do you honestly think any of them would let something happen? Do you think I would let something happen?” The fist around his neck loosens and drops.
“I want them to live a normal life.” Dante steps away, his voice uncertain. “Look at us- at Nero and Kyrie. Being what we are, we have royally screwed them over.” He stares down at his rough armored hands. His elytra pulses red veins with demonic energy. “And a damn kid? Nero got by alright, but narrowly. Do I look like someone that can handle this?”
“No.” Vergil can’t lie, it would only hurt you in the end. “Not at first. While I have no right to talk about being a father, I know you can do it far better than I.” He smiles to himself. “‘sides, at least your better half has a head on their shoulders.”
“Gee, thanks.” Dante grunts retreating to where his desk used to be. He breathed deeply and shifted back to his human form. Damn it, he had just paid off the repairs from the last time he wrecked the place. Bending over to pick up his magazine, the two were interrupted by his door bursting open. Nero and Lady bursting through bickering heatedly at each other before they notice the mess.
“Did we interrupt something?” Nero steps open the splinters of Dante’s old desk taking in his half triggered father.
“No.” The brothers say in unison.
“Good-” Lady pushes forwards, tossing a missive to Dante. He catches it with deft fingers and rips it open. “Normally I would have taken this on myself with the kid-since you’ve been sulking.” She shoots him a scathing look. “But we need all boots on the ground. Trish and your flickering flame are already there, but this portal just isn’t budging.”
“What!” Vergil snaps. Dante stares blankly at the letter, a high pitch whining growing in his ears. It was getting hard to breathe. “You left them there? They are vulnerable.” The blue devil grabs the letter from his brother looking at the address briefly before grabbing Yamato before rushing for the door.
Nero shouts after his father in confusion, his outburst uncharacteristic for him. “The hell was that about?” Nero watches the skies as the blue figure disappears. “They are perfectly capable of handling themselves…”
“Get in the van. I’ll see you there.” Dante grits out, crumbling the paper up and tossing it aside. He flys out moments later, guns and swords are forgotten. Anything that touches you would be getting ripped to shreds with his bare hands. He travels in a blur of panic fighting the sense of guilt threatening to overcome him. How could he be so stupid? Just because you weren’t at the office didn’t mean that you weren’t still taking jobs. He always worried when you went out solo- or without him, but he was confident in your abilities. A few scrapes and bruises weren’t anything to stress over. It wasn’t something to stress about before. You were still on the field and it was his damn fault.
The sound of gunfire and the roars of dying demons draws him in. Dante’s sharp eyes find you immediately. You were holding your own. You back in a corner but your guns were hot, dropping demon after demon with near flawless aim. Instinctively his demon side rumbles in pride before he squashes the feeling. Now wasn’t the time. Vergil beat him there by minutes but was already covered in gore as he assists you from above, slicing through the almost endless wave of beasts. Dante lands near you grabbing a Fury in midjump throwing it away to splatter against a building yards away. “About time you showed up!” Trish shouted from her perch lightning crackling around her. He ignores her, instead he launches himself at the gaping maw of the portal. He fights with reckless abandon, each wound and injury fueling his fire. One more hit on him just meant one less directed at you.
The fighting didn’t last long after Nero and Lady arrived adding enough fire support that he was able to destroy the portal and clean up the remaining hellspawn. The moment it was Dante was on you. “The hell were you thinking!” He rounds on you his massive body crowding your space.
You hold your ground staring up at him. “Hey, so glad to finally hear from you.” You crane your neck up to meet his glowing eyes. “I love it when my boyfriend finally remembers I exist.”
“You could have gotten hurt!” He glosses over your snark and checks you out. You were fine, good.
You back away from him throwing your hands up in confusion. “Yes? That’s kind of par for the course isn’t it?” You were baffled by his behavior. Weeks. Weeks! Weeks of ignoring your calls, and a conveniently empty office every time you tried to drop by, and now that you have his attention the first thing he does is yell at you? Where did he get off? In fact, his shit attitude only angered you more. “Ya know what? I don’t want to hear it.” You turn your head to where Nico sat leaning out of her driver-side window. She waves at you. “Can you give me a lift back to my place? I got to grab some fresh clips before heading back out.”
A red hand blocks your exit. “No-” Dante grabs your forearm gently tugging you to look at him. His natural heat was a comfort you didn’t realize you missed so much. “Babe-let me handle it.”
“Dante,” You try to pull away. “It’s my job. What has gotten into you?”
He looks over to his brother, the conflict he had been trying to avoid closing in too fast for him.
Vergil holds his stare and shrugs. “Come-the two need to talk, let’s head back for now.” Asshole. The rest of the group follows his eldest brother casting curious glances over their shoulders as they pile into the van. He really wasn’t ready for this.
The two of you watch them go in silence. “Let me take you back? Please?” Dante let’s go of your arm. You nod, it’s not like you have any choice now. Well, you could walk, your body screams at the thought of moving any more than necessary. You’ve been getting exhausted faster and faster these days. Perhaps the stress of the job was getting to you. He scoops you up in his giant arms stretching his wings out to their full and impressive length before taking to the sky. He glides through the city taking extra care to make it as smooth as possible for you. His landing was as silent on the empty streets surrounding your apartment building.
The mid-afternoon sun was high overhead, the perpetual fog of the city finally breaking enough to let in the heat of the day. You slide from his arms and lead him up the steps to your door. Swinging the door wide you look up at him. “Do you mind?”
“What?”
You point to his devil form. “Shrinking? I don’t think you can fit.”
Oh right. He chuckles nervously. “Ain’t nothing a bit of lube and patience can’t fix right?” You don’t laugh, your lips pull taught. He coughs shifting in a flash of heat. Once he’s human he squeezes through the narrow door frame and just stares at you. Dante shuffles from side to side. Great. Now what?
You rub at your neck weary you could feel another knot growing. Weeks ago you had a whole speech laid out for when you got him through your door. You wanted to chew him out, to yell at him for cutting you out so unceremoniously. Shout that if he was going to break up with you at least do it cleanly, not this emotional roller coaster. A sense of anger fills you. Damn it, was this really it? It wasn’t like this was the first time a partner has done this. You just had hoped that Dante would be different. He had always been so dependable. “Just make it quick, Dante.” You didn’t have the steam for this right now. You felt nauseous and a pulsing head coming on. Ugh, and you still have that job waiting for you.
Dante’s silver brows scrunch up. “Make what quick?”
You wave at the distance between the two of you. “This. This breakup. Do it fast so it’ll give me the adrenaline to get through my next job so I can pass out tonight and get some sleep.”
Any other day Dante’s look of sheer shock would have been hilarious- today just wasn’t one of those days. “You think? Heh-shit yes, I can see why...” He rakes a hand through his disheveled hair. “It’s not like that, I- I was running from my problems again.”
Your hackles raise in anger. “I’m a problem now?”
“What! No, that’s not what I’m trying to say.” He points to himself. “I’m the problem. I ruin everything I touch!” His hurt cuts through your aggression.
“Dante-” You have had this discussion before. “You know I don’t think that.”
“You should.” He cuts you off, his expression imploring. “I messed up-I messed up big time with you. I should have said something the moment I knew but I just locked up and ran, like always.”
Knew? Knew what? “Dante, I don’t understand.”
“I-you...how are you feeling of late? I don’t know anything about this stuff, different?” His eyes swipe over your dusty battle garb. You feel his eyes stop at your navel holding there too long to be considered a coincidence before dropping to your feet.
“I’m sorry.” His breath hitches, getting dangerously close to a feeling he had been bottling up for too long. You are quiet, doing the math in your head. He hears your heartbeat pick up, your breathing becoming fast and shallow.
“Get out.”
His heart sinks. What did he expect? Closing the distance between you he reaches for you, his hand hovering by your face waiting to see if you will let him touch you. You don’t move, don’t even look up at him when his hands cup your face. So he moves crouching down to get a look at you. Your gaze is blank but resolute.
“I’m sorry.” He tries again. You ignore him far too engrossed in your revelation. Idly you trace a palm down to your stomach before flinching away is burned. “I’ll-I’ll be around…” He trails off all steam lost. At a loss he does the only thing he can think to do and flees, disappearing back into the streets outside your home like the coward he was.
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Prompts
1. "Hi, my ex just walked in. Would you hold my hand please?"
2. "I didn't expect to see you here."
3. "Have you seen this dog?"
4. “That mouth of yours, does it ever stop making noise”
5. “Seven minutes in heaven is for virgin teenagers”
6. “Slam that door one more time and I’ll shove my foot straight up your cute ass”
7. “Jesus! Knock next time would you”
8. “You have money go and get yourself a hoodie that’s not mine”
9. "I hate roses, I thought you knew"
10. "Do you think I am an angel? Ha"
11. "I wanted to sleep but someone decided to die"
12. "I can kill you right now, what are you talking about?"
13. "Hi, I am lost, can you come after me?"
14. "When I first saw you I wanted to date your best friend"
15. "I am so funny and you are just jealous"
16. "If I have to choose... no"
17. "Stop breathing like that!"
18. "I just did my nails"
19. "I'm the best driver în the world"
20. "Will you marry me?" "No"
21. "I think I broke my arm" "So?"
22. "I think I love you" "Thanks"
23. "My arms are lonely, don't you think?"
24. "Apparently we are dating"
25. “Well it’s kind of hard to move when you’re sitting on my lap”
26. "Those things you said yesterday, did you mean them?"
27. "If we elope, you think they'll kill us?"
28. "This is yours"
29. "You can’t just kiss me, laugh and then walk away."
30. "Are you using ass as a pillow?"
31." I find your lack of faith disturbing."
32. "And I took it personally"
33. "In here I am the boss"
34. "Oh, bite me!" "Where?"
35. "What will you do if we break up?"
36. "Where is my T-shit?"
37. "This is no time for sarcastic comments." "There is always time for sarcastic comments."
38. "I’ll keep quiet, you won’t even know I’m here."
39. "The way you flirt is just awful"
40. "Don’t be fooled. I’m the epitome of mess."
41. " If you are on TV should I congratulate you?"
42. "And this, is why we can’t have nice things."
43. "That's what he said"
44. "I am scared of your boss"
45. "You should know, a lot of girls have a crush on me"
46. "Everyone is afraid of you"
47. "If I'm watching that movie one more time I'll lose my fucking mind!"
48. "I thought being on vacation will be stress free"
49. "My parents don't trust you"
50. "I don't think I should give my last name so easily"
51. “I really wish I could unsee that.”
52. “Who would’ve guessed we’d be sharing a room.”
53. “I feel like you have an unhealthy obsession with me.”
54. “Nah he’s fine, it’s the other one you really got to watch out for.”
55. “I have a suggestion.” “I’m not taking my clothes off so forget it.”
56. “You’re the genius, why don’t you tell me?”
57. “Have I ever told you your accent makes me swoon?” “Really?” “No.” He/she smiles. “ that’s why I’ve never told you.”
58. “I’m alive? How am I still alive?”
59. “You’re crazy! I love it!”
60. “Never have I ever is about to get a lot more interesting.”
61. “What did they do?” “Dude. They did the do.”
62. "You can’t keep pretending it didn’t happen, cause guess what? It did!"
63. "Well this is awkward."
64. "Im too sober for this."
65. "Im pregnant." "Wall done, Virgin Mary!"
66. " I want to protect you."
67. "Kill that spider and maybe I'll forgive you"
68. "I have no one to go to the wedding"
69. "Don’t you dare touch _______!"
70. "I thought you were dead!"
71. "This is, without a doubt, the stupidest plan you’ve ever had. Of course I’m in."
72. "Take care of you, please"
73. "If your best friend single?"
74. "Just remember, if we get caught, you’re deaf and I don’t speak English."
75. "Why does everyone assume we're a couple?"
76. "Im craving something sweet" "Are you pregnant or something?"
77. " What is the magic word?" "I'll kill you în your sleep"
78. "When I see you my knees get weak"
79. "Finally you're single. Can I take you on a date?"
80. " So, I guess you don’t do after hours?"
81. "I know what I'm doing, I've watched two whole seasons of Grey's Anatomy."
82. "I can't believe I'm stuck here with you right now."
83. "Okay, this did not go as I planned it in the shower."
84. "I'm not going to sit around and watch you destroy yourself."
85. "You were my best friend"
86. "You did what?"
87. "Can you just pretend to love me for a second!"
88. "You are enough"
89. "Take the shirt off"
90. "Your nickname is bitch"
91. "What do you want to watch?" "You"
92. "How could you ask me that?"
93. "Your mouth does this thing and I can't resist it"
94. "Are you allowed to drink?"
95. "I said Im done, leave me alone!"
96. "Don’t raise your fucking voice at me”
97. “Yeah, I remember the drill”
98. “Tell me again, slowly this time, why that dog is in my bed.”
99. “Gave you so much, but it wasn’t enough.”
100. “You and me, we were destined to fall apart.”
101. “No, you don’t know who you are until somebody breaks your heart.”
102. “I want to tell you everything. The words I never got to say the first time around.”
103. “It’s better to feel pain, than nothing at all.”
Song lyrics prompts
1. “It’s the little things about us, that I love so much.”
2. “Last night I told you I loved you // woke up blamed it on the vodka”
3. “It’s a better place since you came along”
4. “You make me love the things I hate “
5. Just a paper sheet and half a cigarette are left in my hand
6. Your faith walks on broken glass
7. "And can you teach me how to dance real slow?"
8. "I'll throw away my faith, babe, just to keep you safe"
9. "One night, you won't forget the rest of your life"
10. "We only said goodbye with words"
11. "I'll try to give you love until the day you drop"
12. "I like the pretty boys with the bow tie"
13. "Lets get drunk forget what we did"
14. Your kisses lift me higher
15. When you're ready we can share the wine
16. "And if you don't love me now you will never love me again"
17. "Why'd you have to go and make things so complicated?"
18. "When there's nothing to lose and there's nothing to prove"
19. She's the kind of girl who only asks you over when its raining, just to make you lie there catching water dripping from the ceiling.
20. Now I understand, you're a human, and you got to lie, you're a man
21. The good and the bad times: we've been through them all.
22. Now I ain't educated but I sure ain't stupid
23. I grew up in the shoes they told me I could fill
24. It's hard to say that I'd rather stay awake when I'm asleep
25. A lover would just complicate my plans
26. And in the morning, i’ll be with you, but it will be a different kind
27. My heart is yours, it’s you that i hold on to
28. And with one kiss, you inspired a fire of devotion that lasts for twenty years
29. I let go of my claim on you, it’s a free world
30. I’m in my bed, and you’re not here and there’s no one to blame, but the drink in my wandering hands
31. Cause you gave me peace and i wasted it, I’m here to admit that you were my medicine
32. Oh, dear diary, i met a boy, he made my doll heart light up with joy. Oh, dear diary, we fell apart, welcome to the life of electra heart
33. For you, I would cross the line, I would waste my time, I would lose my mind
34. Is it really me you're missing?
35. Remember that night?
36. How many times can I break till I shatter?
37. As long as I breathe, I’ll call you my home
38. "You wouldn't know love if it crushed your fucking chest."
39. "When we scream our lips don't make a sound."
40. "Please don't let me sink, wrap your arms around me and carry me home."
41. "This hasn't torn us apart so nothing ever will."
42. "A long time ago we believed that we were united."
43. "I miss the person that you were but I don't miss you."
44. "If home is where the heart is, why do I feel so fucking heartless?"
45. "I can't live, I can't breathe with or without you just go away."
46. "I'm not afraid to die, I'm afraid I'll survive and have to watch you suffer."
47. "I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away."
48. "I'm not like you I just fuck up."
49. "All because of you I believe in angels, not the kind with wings, no not the kind with halos. The kind that bring you home when home becomes a strange place."
50. "I just want to go to sleep and never wake up again."
51. “I wish people liked me more.”
52. “How could I ever love someone else?”
53. “I guess you’re getting everything you want.”
54. “She probably gives you butterflies.”
55. “I hope that you’re okay.”
56. “I defended you to all my friends.”
57. “I never cared about what they say, only care about me and you”
58. “Either way i’m gonna lose, so i’m just gonna keep on loving you”
59. “You know i’m bad at communication, it’s the hardest thing for me to do”
60. “Iwas your lover, i was your friend, now I’m only just someone you call when it’s late enough to forget”
61. “It’s fucked up but it’s true that i love you like i do”
62. “Well we both had nights waking up in strangers beds but i don’t wanna, don't wanna, i don’t wanna give up yet”
63. “Tell me I’ve got it wrong somehow.”
64. “I’m begging for you to take my hand.”
65. “I can’t make it go away by making you the villain.”
66. “He feels like home.”
67. “I’d be breaking all my rules to see you.”
68. “But I know you’re not scared of anything at all.”
69. “When can I come back?”
70. “I’m ready to owe you anything”
71. “I’ll always look best in your head”
72. “I know you know it’s wrong, but I’m ready”
73. “All I ever want is breaking me apart.”
74. “Let's talk sweetly like all our love is false.”
75. “You put a fire in my heart, painted blood on my stars, gave me faith.”
76. “I wanna meet your girlfriend, she sounds nice.”
77. “How is kissing me so wrong?“
78. “Can’t you see that I’m already yours?”
79. “I’ve been losing track of the romantic sh*t I’m tryna say but basically I love you"
80. “I don’t wanna be your friend, I wanna kiss your lips, I wanna kiss you until I lose my breath”
81. “I apologize for all your tears, I wish I could be different but I’m still growing up into the one you can call your love”
82. “I’m out of my head, of my heart, of my mind cause you can run but you can’t hide, I’m gonna make you mine”
83. "I never loved someone the way that I love you"
84. "It's the way that you know what I thought I knew, it's the beat that my heart skips when I'm with you"
85. "I hope she gettin' better sex, hope she ain't fakin' it like I did, babe"
86. “I know we’re young and people change and we may never feel the same”
87. “I can’t change the world, but maybe I’ll change your mind”
88. "You don't own me. Don't tie me down 'cause I'd never stay."
89. "Leave everything that is worth a single cent and just take me instead."
90. "And then I got you off your knees, put you right back on your feet, just so you can take advantage of me."
91. "Hey, I can't let you go with nobody. Cause I love you, baby."
92. "Tell me that it wasn't my fault and that I was enough for you."
93. "We were good at faking forever, I get it, whatever."
94. "Cause you had your chance and you blew it. Yeah, you ripped it up and you chewed it."
95. "Well, I'm too busy for your business. Go find a girl who wants to listen."
96. "Stop looking at me with those eyes, like I could disappear and you wouldn't care why."
97. "Oh, we could do whatever you want, but boy, don't go falling in love, you can't stay with me, all you'll ever have is one day with me"
98. "I pray the medication slow me down, but that shit doesn't work when you're around"
99. "Told her that I loved her once and now she'd kill for me"
100. "What the tell were we? Tell me we weren't just friends"
Who I write for
Formula 1
Daniel Ricciardo
Lewis Hamilton
Max Verstappen
Charles Leclerc
Esteban Ocon
Carlos Sainz
Lando Norris
Lance Stroll
Sebastian Vettel
Mick Schumacher
Pierre Gasly
George Russel
Football
Erling Haaland
Jadon Sancho
Giovanni Reyna
Jude Bellingham
Julian Brandt
Marco Reus
Roman Bürki
Emre Can
Mats Hummels
Leon Goretzka
Joshua Kimmich
Kai Havertz
Mason Mount
Christian Pulisici
Ben Chilwell
Gerard Pique
João Félix
Ianis Hagi
Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain
Trent Alexander-Arnold
Virgil van Dijk
Jens Petter Hauge
Martin Ødegaard
Alexander Sørloth
#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#imagine#fanfiction#formula 1#football#my prompts#soccer#erling haaland#daniel ricciardo#max verstappen#charles leclerc#carlos sainz jr#lando norris#lance stroll#lewis hamilton#premier league#bundesliga#grand prix
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Belphie's Music Taste
Mammon's Music Taste
Asmodeus's Music Taste
Belphie listening to lofi songs is simultaneously the cutest and funniest thing that I’ve ever heard.
Aw is the bratty little cowboy gonna listen to windchimes and sparkles. Yes. Yes, he is.
Aight hear me out. JUST LISTEN
Belphie listening to country music.
HE HAS THE COWBOY AESTHETIC ALREADY MIGHT AS WELL GO ALL THE WAY.
He’d start it as a joke but he’d gradually love falling asleep to the slow drawl of the music.
he thinks their super cheesy but proceeds to press play
"ugh more country music?" *clicks play*
Or even listening to those sad country army songs about being soldiers and missing your family
He 100% relates these songs to Lilith and having to fight for/against the celestial realm.
AT SOME POINT he’s layed with Beel and they both cried about country music/Lilith (think If Your Reading This and a bunch more by Tim McGraw, Arlington, and Your Gonna Miss This by Trace Adkins)
Butterfly Kisses by Bob Carlise. FUCK. I’M GOING TO CRY.
I know some of these songs are from the point of view of a daughter and their dad but Belphie can’t help but think of being able to grow up and show Lilith how the world has changed.
Doesn’t even care that most of country songs are religion-based and yeah sometimes he gets so angry at Father for what he took from him but he remembers that now Lilith is up there still. Doesn’t make it hurt any less though.
Wishes he could still hold her, see her grow up, him and beel being her best men at her wedding, connecting the human and celestial realm
listens to circus songs and fucking cries
NICKELBACK. (he isn’t THAT bad okay, sometimes his songs SLAP) ((lullaby,,,belphie relates this song to his feelings of overwhelming anger in the attic)
Falling asleep holding each others hands, reminiscing about Lilith and the times they had together.
Mammon and satan, just to piss him off, played the wild west theme songs (The Good The Bad The Ugly theme) whenever he walked in a room and he would go demon mode (only for them to laugh harder, cowboy looking ass)
gets embarrassed if you hear him listening to country music
changes the song quickly, he can't have people knowing he genuinely likes it
listened to If I Die Young once and thought of Lilith
proceeded to block all mentions of this song
Anyway LOFI MUSIC.
He loves how soft and sweet it is even though it doesn’t match his “style”.
This motherfucker can be berated by Lucifer and he’ll put on headphones and just watch Lucifer scream at him and only hear soft Lofi music.
Lofi hip hop, Jazz, pop. He does not discriminate.
Very often gets the beats and small portions of the lyrics stuck in his head.
LOVES Shiloh Dynasty and all the remixes
But that is not the only thing that Belphie listens to. Oh no, definitely not.
Loves nightcore. Alvin and the Chipmunks who?
Alternatively likes listening to slowed down songs
Listens to the front bottoms and thinks about punching lucifer in his face
OUCH! By Matt Watson
HE LISTENS TO SCREAMO AND EMO MUSIC.
MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE, SLEEPING WITH SIRENS, PIERCE THE VEIL.
Emo headass.
Is very much stuck in the 2010s (probably the last era he was able to listen to before getting locked in the attic and since getting out has been stuck there) and if MC introduces him to any more then even 2020 music.
It’s the emotions that he relates so heavily to but it also helps him stay awake to do tasks.
His turn to do dishes? Unearthly screaming comes from the kitchen. Please don’t worry he is just vibing.
He has the screamo voice. He doesn’t use it often because I don’t see Belphie as someone to sing along, more bopping to the music and swaying, MAYBE mumbling under his breath but nothing more.
Will do it with Lucifer around just to fuck with him
Why is the thought of Belphie on stage, smudged mascara, black leather clothes and screaming on the top of his lungs hot????
would 100% let you dress him up in that outfit but acts like he doesn't like it
Stop *bonk* being *bonk* a *bonk* belphie *bonk* simp *bonk*
He doesn’t like making playlists because its so much work so if he puts on Lofi to go to sleep to and he will stay sleeping on wild screamo music.
Listens to it most in the attic because that’s where a FUCKTON of his resentment/rebellious vibes come from and because he doesn’t want to bother Beel while they are sleeping.
Asshole probably doesn’t use his headphones anywhere else tho.
Asmodeus and Mammon don’t understand him but they love him nonetheless.
*demonic screeching* “Okay sweetie don’t forget about the student council meeting later today <3”
If Mammon vibes with a song he WILL scream along, incoherently though because he doesn’t know the lyrics.
Beel just kinda sits there. Doesn’t get it either but loves seeing Belphie look so at peace.
Old man lucifer “is that what you kids listen to today?” (but can he talk?? really?? listening to cursed records bc iTs InTeReStInG)
Satan gets it the most out of anyone else. When they have Anti Lucifer-League meetings Belphegor puts on the most rebellious, and relatable (for their cause) at least, songs and they both scream the lyrics.
he isn't shy showing these songs to you but has once attempted to show off his emo scream please don't laugh at him
OKAY BUT CLEANING UP THE LIVING ROOM WITH BELPHIE WHILE YOU BOTH SCREAM IS SO CUTE
Trophy Father’s Son by Sleeping With Sirens, Can You Feel My Heart, Keep Myself Alive, Sleepwalking by Bring Me The Horizon, Last Resort by Papa Roach, A LOT OF LINKIN PARK, Monster by Skillet, and OF COURSE Bring Me To Life by Evanescence
He probably wouldn't listen to wolf in sheeps clothing but *pointing* THATS HIM
Belphie has spent time crying over these songs. On late nights when he can’t sleep he cries about how he thinks Lucifer doesn’t love him and blames him for Lilith’s death. How MC must really hate him for how he’s acted. How different he is from his brother’s. (part of why he won’t listen to it in front of Beel)
please hold him and promise him that you don't hate him
He also LOOOOOVVES classical music but due to his history with it will not listen to it.
Aka how he used to lay on lucifer’s lap while he plays lullabies for him.
If Lucifer is playing classical music in the area tho? He can’t help but suddenly feel really sleepy. And no he didn’t fall asleep close enough to hear Lucifer scribble away on his paperwork (Lucifer knows he does and always has a blanket ready for when this happens).
lay with him and if you listen very carefully you can hear him mumbling the lyrics under his breath as he runs his fingers through your hair
One of my biggest things about belphie is that he is really smart even though he doesn’t like to put in the effort.
He likes to dissect these songs (typically passing thoughts and really paying attention, he won’t put to much effort into it) and get into them and it backfires because that means he’s really listening to these lyrics and it hits him THAT much harder. (STICKING LITTLE WHITE FLOWERS ALL UP IN HER HAAAAAIIRRRR)
End Note: Belphie doesn't have the largest music selection but the songs he listen to either help him sleep or makes him get all up in his feelings (bc he is emotionally stunted and its the only way he can cry).
#do you know how unbelievably angry i am writing these#he made me remember the old country songs I use to listen to#my dad use to listen to country and Spanish music often and as I grew up I slowly got out of that and into other genres#thats why this specific playlist is so nostalgic for me#ALSO GO LISTEN TO BUTTERFLY KISSES DONT YOU DARE SAY BELPHIE DOESN'T CRY AND THINK OF LILITH#i listened to it and went damn I can't believe I just lost my bby girl despite not having any children#obey me shall we date#obey me#om! belphegor#om! headcanons#hcs#headcanon#om! hcs#om! shall we date#swd om#obey me swd#shall we date belphie#belphie x mc#shall we date belphegor#belphegor headcanons#belphegor swd#belphegor x reader#obey me satan#shall we date satan#om! satan#om! lucifer#obey me lucifer#shall we date lucifer#om! mammon#shall we date mammon
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