#well bribery
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pratchettquotes · 2 months ago
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"Well, if I can be of any help to the Times--"
"We won't be bribed, either," said William. He knew he was galloping in among the sharpened stakes here, but he'd be damned before he'd be patronized.
"Bribed?" said Vetinari. "My dear sir, seeing what you're capable of for nothing, I'd hesitate to press even a penny into your hand."
Terry Pratchett, The Truth
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rocketbirdie · 5 months ago
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*enters my own password* "i'm in"
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suguwu · 9 days ago
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how long does it take for last light on baby girl to take to sae? i feel like he’d really want her to acknowledge him and form an attachment to him as quickly she can manage, but he’d be so low key about it. i don’t think he’s above bribery…
it takes a lot longer than sae would like.
kids are so smart and your daughter picks up on your wariness about sae, to say nothing of how rin acts around sae. it makes her keep her distance despite the presents and your quiet encouragement. for all that you keep nudging her towards him, your body language is closed off, a door wedged shut.
he's casual about it; he's low-key. he doesn't pressure her. he lets her be and lets her come to him on her own terms.
but you see the cracks in the mask.
the way his fingers flex when she shies away from him to duck behind you. the downturned corners of his mouth, all wilting petals, when she ignores one of her new toys for one of rin's old gifts, a ratty stuffed giraffe she drags everywhere with her.
it's driving him insane.
she does come around, though—she's always wanted a dad. but it takes until you start getting more comfortable with sae, so at least a few months, if not more.
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katoska · 3 months ago
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Theory why Betelgeuse left Lydia's side to "go to the little boys' room" and took over for Richard at his booth for a bit:
Yes, he could have dealt with Jeremy without playing dress-up and taking over Richard's job, and didn't have to enable Richy to get a little more family time in the process. They could have saved Astrid just fine without that, so it seems unnecessary, for him to do that. OOC, even. Except
2) Richard wouldn't owe Betelgeuse a big favor for said taking over of his job and enabling the extra family time with Lydia and Astrid. Also, ofc, for saving his daughter from trading places with Jeremy. Betelgeuse did all that at great cost to himself: A Code 699 violation (see screenshot of transcript from reddit below) gets you extra time working as a civil servant, it gets your topside privileges revoked, and it voids any marriage you entered into, so his contract for payment from/marriage to Lydia was meaningless (well, if it had been a marriage certificate rather than just an agreement to get married in the future. and if he'd actually signed it. and then possibly only if he'd signed it before entering the Netherworld so there'd be a marriage TO void, rather than... not signing it at all... *sigh* he totally burned that half-signed and not-yet-binding contract himself bc he understood she wasn't ready to marry him yet, is what I'm saying, but I digress).
1) Lydia wouldn't have gotten closure for her ex's death without it. Closure which she sorely needed, because the fact that Richard's body was never found plus her seeming inability to see his ghost (Richard: "I know you two can't see me, but I check in on you all the time") add up to her having been in denial of his death. She couldn't see his ghost because she really really did not want to see proof that he was dead. So now she gets to move on from him. Which is very convenient for B. Especially as Richard is unlikely to be able to visit her anytime soon even now that Lydia has accepted his death and should be able to see him again, but I'm getting to that.
Still 2): Anyway, B doesn't do favors. He does business. If people are allowed to take over for others at their jobs in the afterlife, but those jobs are also a form of punishment where you have to "do time" at them for a specific duration, then those work hours are a currency that you can give away or trade. You can, if you find someone who is willing, get someone to do your time for you (hell, you can even get a naive Breather to trade their actual Life for your afterlife existence).
So yeah, I don't think Betelgeuse took over Richard's booth just out of the goodness of his heart. I think they made a deal, one that means that B will be topside again much sooner than the Deetz' will expect so he can get back to trying to seduce Richard's ex (hey, Richard always supported lost causes, so... 😆), while Richard will be stuck at work, unable to visit the Living for a long and unspecified amount of time. Not that his family's gonna notice, bc they never used to see him visit them, anyway.
And yeah, according to someone from reddit who decyphered that page in the Handbook, there's a bit about how the Deceased who violated Code 699 has to cease Trading, if applicable.
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But I think that only goes for post-conviction of the crime, not as an automatic consequence of the crime, as B was also still able to visit the Living World to attempt the church wedding. Which, actually, is yet more evidence that this latest marriage attempt was more for the sake of declaring his feelings and testing the waters (and showing off, and getting rid at the competition) than him trying to actually get, and stay, married. Cause the church wedding would have been voided by a conviction, too.
Anyway, that's my theory on B's incredibly considerate, and therefore incredibly suspicious, detour to Richard's booth and letting Richard have his heroic moment.
And tbf, Lydia and Astrid are Richard's family. So it wouldn't even be unreasonable to expect Richard to pay for the legal trouble B got into from saving them. Like, I'm sure he'd have done it anyway, but if B can pass on that buck then ofc he's gonna.
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stabbyfoxandrew · 8 months ago
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Happy Wednesday, Aerie! I'm loving the Mer Roadtrip AU, you're an incredible writer <3 I can't wait to see Neil's daring escape. Angel Neil for this week, as always, and I hope it gives you less trouble this week. I'm slowly collecting more questions I come up with about the AU in a silly little text file, so one day I can send you another ask (yes, Angel Neil consumes my thoughts on occasion). I hope you have a lovely week (even if it sometimes feels hard to get anything done, there's always the next day, yk?)
WIP Wednesday (5/8) | Guardian Angel Neil AU (Part 185)
On Friday night, Andrew finds himself perched on the back of the couch waiting for everyone else to put the finishing touches on their atrocious costumes. Well, he and Kevin are already done, but Nicky is debating whether he should wear the eyepatch that came with his pirate-suit.
“I sincerely think it’s a bad idea,” Kevin says from beside Andrew. He is sitting on the couch the correct way, but looking over the back of it at Nicky. He looks completely normal, his ‘costume’ even worse than Andrew’s. And sure to be lost by the end of the night. “I mean, you’re driving.”
“I think he could get us there with it on,” Andrew says, grinning. “It would be a fun challenge for you.”
“No, Kevin’s right,” Nicky says, tossing the strip of fabric onto the counter. “Besides, it would mess up my makeup.”
“I can’t believe that’s the problem you have with it,” Kevin mutters. But Andrew understands Nicky’s concern. His eyeshadow actually looks sort of good, a lot of smoky black with a bit of orange glitter mixed in. Andrew doesn’t know makeup terms. He’s never worn it himself, except for a tiny bit of eyeliner he tried once in Cass’s bathroom. He scrubbed it off immediately after.
“I can’t believe your costume is a tiny piece of plastic in your pocket,” Nicky pouts.
Kevin sighs. “Why would I pay forty bucks for a shitty cape and a vial of fake blood when the plastic fangs suffice? It makes no sense to spend a lot of money for one night!”
“You’ll get married in an exy uniform, won’t you?” Nicky asks, shaking his head. The parrot pinned to his shoulder flops around a bit making the bird look drunk. “I mean, you’re almost as bad as Andrew over here.”
Andrew is offended. He would never get married in an exy anything. He wouldn’t get married, period.
“At least my costume is visible,” Andrew says, pointing to the top of his head where sits a headband with a couple of pokey little horns sticking out of his hair.
“Barely,” Nicky tuts. “You need a haircut, you can barely see them. Where’s the tail?”
“I am not wearing something that sticks off my ass. Ever. Especially not at Eden’s.” Andrew says, holding his hands up. “Kevin, would you like to borrow it?”
“No,” Kevin snaps. “The teeth are fine.”
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dragonfire1000 · 1 year ago
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you cannot tell me Killer wouldn't do this
And Night certainly won't admit he likes it in a wierd way and he hates that .
Also a hypothetical scenario if nightmare still had the power of corruption but tamed it so that he didn't have to be caked up in goop 24/7 maybe flaring up if he got angry enough. Inspired by a drawing I saw of passive but with the tentacles and with killer just being killer. It was adorable.
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lixenn · 3 months ago
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A mishap with a malfunctioning Ten Year Bazooka resulted in some de-aging shenanigans. After the Varia got sick of dealing with a grumpy baby Chief who was suspicous of everyone except Squalo they called in the big guns aka Marina lmao
Naturally Marina was delighted by this turn of events because pocket sized Dan is extra cute so she instantly proceeded to dress him up in all the cute onesies (taking lots of pictures for bribery purposes of course). She picked a shark onesie because Rina looooves teasing Squalo nearly as much as she loves teasing her brother after the two of them started dating.
reference
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frolis-maneuver · 1 year ago
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Baby doll I recognize You're a hideous thing inside If ever there were a lucky kind it's You you you you [x]
sorry for being absent here been experiencing brainrot on a sideblog. can i interest you in some ocs perhaps
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day-night-darlix · 8 months ago
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i think that yuki from idolish7 would be able to therapy aventurine by sheer bluntness, good food, and brute force
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tenwhiteandalusians · 15 days ago
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pertaining to the idea of tenax’s band of strays i do think it’s touching that the kids are the ones who saved him and waited outside the door to make sure he’s okay. for all tenax claims to be harsh and cruel it’s a fine indicator of his character that the kids won’t rest without him and are there every time he’s in danger.
#AND I CAN’T FUCKING BELIEVE I HAD THEM STEALING THEIR WAY OMTO#THE PLATFORMS WHAT DO YOU MEANNNNNNN oh i love being right#also that all the kids are there watching when he kills the guy whose name i forget because i simply cannot hold names in my brain but the#evil one. who i was like oh thank GOD he died i was so sick of this plot he kept killing everyone & i screeched when he almost got claudia#something something calla saying ‘you’re not a child anymore’ about tenax’s cruelty to the brothers (which in my twisted narratives. sorry.#there’s only one scorpus who KNEW the child tenax was. the child he’s still healing and caring for. all of the children whose eyes he looks#into and sees a hurt that’s just like his? the children tenax saved whether he’ll admit it or not? scorpus saved him. and that’s all)#(also this is a terrible thing to say i knew it about but like. oh i knew it about the master of the house. tenax making sure NO ONE#touches the kids or does anything with them really but Claudia and him—the people he trusts which also now includes calla but he makes sure#it’s someone he knows. also do we have a claudia backstory??? or would i just get to invent a reason why she’s there and what she’s doing#and why she’s so loyal to tenax. did she also see the child he was and that’s why she’s so protective of him but also why she gets along#with calla so well because the two of them see how he’s festered in that. like calla fully has the rights here i think she should rip him a#new one for his lack of decency and good qualities he can be corrupt without being cruel y’know. and he should be called out on his#peter pan ass behavior you’re not a child!! there are such consequences!!! dream a little bigger a little kinder!!! change the dream you#made up with scorpus when you were a young angry teenager and make it fit who you are NOW. the life you want NOW not the life you thought#you should have & deserved. what did you learn from growing up. what changed. what do you need now & what do you want. not the same things#and i too wish that this was 30k and covered their entire backstory#BUT IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION of i also need it to be 100k canon-divergent (presumably. i’m only through episode eight. but i can’t imagine#that they will follow the plot EYE would write because they need to have a second season & you can’t have that without conflict which means#titus overthrown scorpus is gonna die metaphorically or literally etc etc the gold faction in shambles but technically triumphant with#domitian on the throne and tenax in a position of patrician power accepted into their society but still not equal and happy. whereas lmao#domitian you’re getting shipped off to some other city because your plot to overthrow titus failed and yet he is merciful enough he won’t#kill you he just sends you and hermes together (at which point over the months long journey you forgive and re-learn each other bc titus#didn’t know of the betrayal he thought it would be kind to send your (ex-)lover with you. do we see how this works perfectly) & tenax falls#back into the underworld where he now knows he belongs because blood is everything except when it isn’t. when he realizes what he has is#worth more. no matter if the blood he has is tainted or patrician the blood oath he swore with scorpus iron on their tongues means more.#calla’s split lip defending him and their winnings. kwaame’s blood on the hard packed sand of the arena fighting to stay alive and to come#home to them. the fire in aura’s cheeks when she laughs at ivy. SURPRISEEEE EVERY NARRATIVE IS A FOUND FAMILY I GUESS IT SPRUNG ON ME TOO.#and tenax doesn’t mind a little dirt and bribery every now and then. doesn’t aspire to former heights and shining brilliant out of shadows.#the gaudiness of gold &flash of fools��� dreams. YES CAN I FINALLY PLS GET MY BLACK FACTION TO REPLACE THE ILL-FATED GOLD THATLL COLLAPSE W/D
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tjerra14 · 2 months ago
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current state of my practicing vet med: inadvertedly sold some cat food while just trying to make things less stressful
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mantisgodsdomain · 2 months ago
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We actually got an advent calendar this year despite our lack of... celebrating christmas. It shall serve as a countdown to the end of quarter, and a bribe to make us keep doing things there. The struggle shall be, of course, not opening all doors immediately.
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tothepointofinsanity · 1 year ago
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[With my five hundred ongoing diseases I’m prepared to just give the JPJ agent my worst shit eating grin as he speaks to me in fluent motherland and I suddenly forget how to start the car. I’ll probably depersonalise out of Reality while driving as well since that seems to be the case everytime I’m behind the wheel.]
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thehallstara · 2 years ago
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hi there's a little less than a day in the first round of the @blaseballshipbracket and i figured i should probably do a round up of what i've promised lmao so!!!
-if BOTH famous/scorpler and nerd/famous win their rounds i'll write a famous pov 12x100 that covers both relationships
-if nerd/famous wins i'll release a [redacted] fic about them that's been sitting in my drafts
-if haruta/bright wins i'll post EVERYTHING i have in my drafts with them
-likewise, if gitajayden win i will do the same
-if you vote for leon/andrew and show me i'll write a 100 word drabble of a player of your choice 🥰
am i gonna regret all this?? maybe!! tylandry and edric/dec/baby don't need the help rn but i do have stuff to offer if they make it through lmao
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weatheredcopper · 2 years ago
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O_O
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pen-of-roses · 1 year ago
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Uuuuuuughhhhhhhhhh
#rye rambles#my grandmother is pressuring me about grad school#and my father is trying to bribe me to go to a college near him by offering to pay never mind it doesn’t offer programs in anything I’d want#and I’m expected to be thankful for this bribery#because the man owns a house with an entire level another family could live in without running into each other#and a bloody indoor pool and hot tub#and can afford to take expensive cruises whenever they damn well please#but bitches about buying me presents for holidays and scolding us all we need to appreciate them#and gets mad at me for spending the money my mother gave me on fun stuff on vacations#but yeah I need to be thankful he’s offering something I didn’t ask for that only benefits him#because he’d have easier access to me#never mind that he’s moved by choice so many times in my life and it was never once closer to ME#but I’m expected to uproot the little life I’ve created here for HIM???#when I know damn well I’d still be the one expected to visit them and drop everything for their plans#I don’t want him to pay for my grad school. I don’t want anyone to except maybe my employer and scholarships#I don’t want to be beholden to anyone in that way#and just honestly fuck him#fuck him and his money and rich little life that I was never really a part of#only a fucking trophy to show off about how well behaved I was because mom raised me#look at how smart they are! look at their achievements! isn’t what I created great!#he couldn’t even be fucking bothered to say congrats when I graduated with three majors#and gods forbid there’s the possibility I might be more knowledgeable on a topic than him#he can’t even respect my identity or friends or my girlfriend who I’ve been with for years#but no I’m the terrible person if I don’t thank him for his generous gift of trying to get me to fit his life when he’s the bastard#who forced me into existence and then didn’t try to be apart of mine
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