#well I mean
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I fucking hate drawing loons. It’s built like if you asked a 10 year old to draw a duck
anyway this piece is probably gonna be called ‘getting shot on sight for entering the employee only area’ when I actually carve it (yes I’ll make the ripples better they’re kinda just placeholders atm)
#linocut#well I mean#not yet but you get the idea#art#drawing#pencil sketch#common loon#birds#wildlife#bird art
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It's time to get Kwahu back to running at Full Power Plus™ with a brand-new bionic arm
He's so happy to be able to hi-five people properly again <3
And it's not long until Mechi is fitted out with a new bionic, too. He's one step closer to matching Yamka!!
Look at him gooooo!! <3 <3
Aww, Mechi apparently doesn't cope with anesthetic as well as Kwahu does. I think this might actually be his first mental break of the series, if we don't count the cube ones.
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#rimworld#gracie plays#A Mechanitor's Message#art#my art#traditional art#rimworld art#unpolished art#slightly more polished art than usual#shiny new bionics that match the colours in their house#they're very stylish that way#I'm so relieved to finally have them feeling happy and better again#I did NOT like drawing them hurt#well I mean#I did a little bit#but I like drawing them healthy better#Now I just have to remember to draw the bionics every time. Hooray -.-#I like Mechi's bed hair#he's cute even when he's unkempt#have a stupendous day y'all!!! <3 <3 <3
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love putting on the baggiest most oversized dad fit ever only to be wearing hot pink panties underneath🤭🤭
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au where everything is the same but there’s just a really low quality png of a horse in every single TOA entry
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#shitty mh au#marble hornets#jay merrick#tim wright#brian thomas#alex kralie#Brian's just a horse girl#well I mean#a horse is a horse (of course‚ of course)#and no one can talk to a horse‚ of course#unless of course that horse is the famous Mr Ed
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A little preview of the pic I've done for @daflowerzine 👀
You need to keep an eye on that, because of the care and quality of the writing and the illustrative works inside 💛🌸
#dragon age flower zine#a very inspirational experience!#I keep repeating 'you're not ready' because I've seen most of the stuff that'll be inside and I'm still not ready lmao#the writing is so fun and creative#and the illustrations are truly gorgeous#prepare your wallets lol#not only because I'm part of it#well I mean#that too. but the creators involved are just. too. good. omg#also shoutout to the mods who were there for everyone and managed to create a thriving and supportive environment
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I love love love that every time before the ark, we only ever see Vash horrified and fighting against who he is. Which, honestly, is understandable when you've been traumatized by what you can do and don't understand anything about yourself! And the only thing fueling Vash before now was fear and anger in itself--the same thing fueling Knives.
But then it shifts, doesn't it? Because a man like him, a man like Wolfwood, is worth fighting for. It's worth finding faith in himself and a true love for humanity--fighting for it beyond just keeping Rem's dream alive. He's a long way away from self-love, if he can ever find it, but he's found love elsewhere to carry him through.
#Trigun#TrigunBookclub#Well I mean#He's about to lose it#But we'll ignore that for now#I know other people have made this comparison#But I wanted to bring my own thoughts to the table
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Sirius: *is naturally highly intelligent and learns new things almost effortlessly*
Also Sirius: *head empty only gay thoughts about remus*
#me??????????????#posting wolfstar content??????????#who wouldve fucking thought#well i mean#I originally thought of the text post for 2 of my ocs#but it reminded me of them too so-#harrypotter#remus lupin#sirius black#james potter#lily evans#maraudersheadcanons#padfoot#wolfstar#marauders era#wolfstar text post#wolfstar textpost#wolfstar incorrect quotes#harry potter marauders#the marauders era#the marauders#the maraunders map#the maruaders#marauder incorrect quotes
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stop sending me asks about tragic jesskas angst i ain't ever doin any of that !!! me no like !!!
#this is a wholesome happy jesskas only space#well i mean#there's still going to be a ton of angst#but i will never make them toxic nor will i kill either off#so quit it 🫵
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I feel like Yun must've given Rangi the most vague orders ever sometimes to fuck with her
#this meme has a chokehold on me#rangi sei'naka#avatar kyoshi#avatar yun#rise of kyoshi#rangi rok#yun rok#koyshi rok#the kyoshi novels#it is so hard to tag for these damn books!!#GET SOME LAST NAMES 😔😔#well I mean#kyoshi sei'naka#<3#ayyyrt#it gets the art tag bc. sure
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I've been browsing Sidlink a lot on pinterest lately, and I guess that means pinterest seems to think my horny ass is into any and all anthropomorphic sharks, so my fyp is basically all this now lmao:
Pinterest: So I heard you're into shark men?? Glub, glub b*tch 🦈🦈
Me: I sure hope this doesn't awaken anything in me lol * starts browsing *
Sorry this was dumb, just wondering if anyone else's algorithm has gotten completely f'd because of the red shark boi on here??
#well i mean#sure why not#not a furry but#or scalie?#scaly?#sidlink#zelda humor#botw totk#totk memes#botw memes#prince sidon
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i know i havent posted in 2 billion years but have this doodle page from school (i've been trapped in school)
#splatoon#side order#splatoon side order#idk what else to tag this enjoy#well i mean#ig#dedf1sh#marina ida#pearl houzuki#agent 8#agent 4
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🎶We're gonna have androids soon! We're gonna have androids soon! We're gonna have androids soon!🎶
I didn't know that The Empire could just grant you a new title without you doing anything??
Maybe it's just because the Jones Boys are so pretty that the Stellarch wants to befriend them in any way possible.
"It's some luciferium! ... Thaaanks..."
Just a reminder that Mechi really does like Ivy and carries her around to cuddle and play with her at every opportunity. The Jones Boys are excellent adoptive uncles.
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#rimworld#gracie plays#A Mechanitor's Message#art#my art#traditional art#rimworld art#unpolished art#slightly more polished art than usual#🎶We're gonna get androids soon!🎶#I'm ITCHING to draw cool robot colonistssss#C'mon c'mon!!#Study FASTER boys!!!#Mechi will not be accepting the Yeoman title until Kwahu gets one too btw#they do it together or not at all#it's the Twin/Clone Creed#I have just decided#I have neither twin nor clone#well I mean#my baby sister (12 years my junior) looks like a clone of me when I was a kid#but that's probably not quite the same#anyhoo#Luciferium bad#Baby good#have a great day!!! <3 <3
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[kenta and i]
we just saw a flashback of you two kissing
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Thinking about zukaang.
#thats it.#just thinking about it#well I mean#theres their collective anger issues#theres the symbolism of sacrifise in zuko leaving everything he knows for aang#theres more to be said about “well youre just a teenager”#i also think abt zuko talking to aang in the nwt#and zuko literally fighting katara (aangs canon love interest) for aang#not in a like#kataang is bad#just think its funny that that LITERALLY happens#theres the fact that a year without aang leads to zuko going nuts#theres just so much to be said about the promise#theres aangs comfort with zuko#ugh#thinking about Them#woodlaflababab#zukaang
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first taking on Robin's debt, Alex asking for a paternity test and now this..... why are these men so expensive 😭😭😭???
#when can i get pampered and spoiled huh.#well i mean#there's avery and i like him...enough#but#HJBREFHJJRBHEFHJ#I WANT TO BE PAMPERED BY THE OTHER LOVE INTERESTS!!!!!!#also wHITNEY YOU'RE ASKING ME TO SMUGGLE SHIT IN WITH BAILEY!!!!! BAILEY!!!!!!!!!#whitney the bully#whitney christmas event#dol whitney#dol related#degress of lewdity#you better make it worth my time fucking asshole#dean rambles
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Unfamiliarity [four]
word count: ~13, 2k
genre: Hybrid AU, no pairings
warnings: panic attacks, heavy signs of PTSD, even heavier hints of being experimented at, past abuse, occasional curse words, hurt/comfort, the inability to recognise and process emotions well, fear of doctors and needles
summary: Bae was making good progress at healing, but then the others decided to house another trauma-magnet.
a/n: Hey-ho! I SO BADLY wanted to post it on Han day, because he finally appears in it, but I was late like, 8 minutes. I am devastated. But at least it still makes sense to read on Felix day, because he channels his babygirl energy in this chapter dangerously well. As promised, here is an even longer chapter, as compensation for disappearing last time, I hope you'll enjoy. At this rate I won't even hit 10 chapters, the story will end because I keep posting over 10k word long chapters...
Please let me know if I left a warning or anything out, I will add it in! Reblogs, likes and feedback are greatly appreciated!
!This is just fiction, my interpretation of Stray Kids. By no means is this how they are and how they behave in real life!
previous II masterlist II next
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“Aagh, the female lead is so stupid! How can she not see he loves her?! It’s painfully obvious!”
I nodded at the raging feline next to me, my arm stolen to be held by him as usual, the motion not even surprising me anymore. Although I did hush him a bit, not wanting to wake anyone up with our late-night program. We usually did it after the human had gone into their room, so I could safely come out of my den without running into them.
Originally, everyone sat together on this sofa, but as the night kept going on and it became later and later, they left one by one, leaving only me and Jin sitting here. Neither of us had a normal sleeping routine, so it wasn’t unusual, really. There were times when the others woke up, only to find us still watching the TV, Jin ranting about something that happened and me silently nodding along, commenting occasionally.
Today seemed to be like that as well, the room slowly brightening around us, our faces not illuminated only by the artificial light of the TV anymore.
It was Lino who joined us first; he usually woke up early to prepare a few things in the kitchen so he could use them to cook breakfast and later lunch with. It never took him too long, his form draped over ours not long after. Being a feline, this usually meant we were his pillows as well; he liked taking short naps throughout the day wherever he deemed it comfortable to do so.
Binnie was usually the next to wake, but only because he went out to train. He would not return for an hour or so, his sweat-drenched form usually disappearing down the halls quickly for a shower.
That was why Channie joined us before him most of the time, Lixie snoring away in one of the rooms peacefully still. Sometimes, they switched up the orders they arrived in; rarely Channie even stayed up with me and Jin when his insomnia acted up. But no matter when, the wolf would always worm his way between my and the felines’ cuddling form. A lot of the time it meant picking someone up and plopping them in his lap; today it was Lino’s turn it seemed.
Lixie’s footsteps reached my ears right as Binnie closed the bathroom door, my attention from Jin’s rant stolen.
“The male lead is just as stupid as the female lead, it’s like they were made for each other. How can she not see the sacred dagger is with him? And how can he not see she is the reincarnation he had been searching for?!” - the agitated leopard half-shouted, making wild gestures with his free hand and tail. “Good mornin’. Another all-nighter?” - Lixie’s even deeper morning voice greeted us and we confirmed his suspicion after greeting him back.
The sleepy snow leopard didn’t even need an invitation to join us, he immediately circled around the sofa and plopped next to the animatedly talking feline. Soon after the little pika sat with us as well, making the pack complete and content; his fresh citrus scent mixing with the bountiful forest’s, calming my nerves slightly, something I appreciated.
Because for the past episode or two, Channie and Lino had been stealing glances at me, their forms strangely tense.
I knew why, of course I did.
It was around the time I would go back to my den, to avoid running into the last inhabitant of the house.
I simply ignored their gazes, my eyes focused on the TV and Jin’s hold on my arm. Lino had his feet draped over my lap too and I gently squeezed one of his calves, hoping it would ease his mind just a bit.
It didn’t take long for the others to catch on too, all except Jin, who was way too engrossed in his TV show. Glances were thrown back and forth, bodies agitatedly shifting around in place. The notion did nothing to help with my own nerves, causing me to gently push Lino’s feet away and drag the drama-loving leopard into my lap. He didn’t protest much, just a surprised little sound leaving his lips before settling into my hold, quiet purrs reverberating in his chest soon after. I nuzzled into his neck, the scent of charcoal and paint familiar and soothing; that underlying cleanness almost non-existent by now.
I could feel his calm pulse, the blood leisurely pumping through his veins. It had a nice rhythm to it; the vein throbbing thrice, no, twice every second.
One.
Two.
Three.
Four.
One.
Two.
Three.
Stop.
The newly appeared footsteps halted, their owner frozen behind the couch somewhere.
Then they picked up again, softer, quieter.
I gently squeezed the now still feline in my arms, eyes slowly opening to look up from his shoulder, only to be met with the gaze of the human. I nodded at them, gaining a nod back in return. The atmosphere warmed up instantly, everyone around us heaving out a silent breath, as if they forgot how to breathe previously. I simply flicked one of my ears, not fully understanding the reason for their behaviour.
“Ah, good morning, Jisoo-ya. Sleep well?” - Channie’s voice broke the veil of silence, pushing the attention onto the human alone. “Mh, yes, thank you. What about you guys?” - the human answered back, his voice on the deeper side of the spectrum compared to the average human. “We did, except these two idiots -Lino pointed at us-. You’re off to work, right? Breakfast is on the table, eat well before leaving.” - the cat answered him, voice stern as the human just airily laughed and scratched at his neck.
The human thanked Lino and left for the kitchen, his lanky form leaving us to pay attention to the TV show once more.
It was quiet between us.
The male in the kitchen didn’t seem threatening at first glance, really. He had relatively short brown hair that turned golden under the sun, dark pools for eyes that seemed suspiciously warm, and a tall stature, but he always stood in a way to not seem threatening; his form was always open, never guarded. His scent was weird too, just like everything else about him: freshly cut grass with an underlying hint of sweetness.
He didn’t look at me weirdly either after the initial surprise and shock of seeing me still here, he simply acknowledged my presence and talked to the others. No side-glances in my direction, or pitying looks, nothing. He looked at me the way he looked at everyone else, and that scared me to my marrow.
Because he looked at them with so much adoration and love, it hurt.
I nuzzled into Jin’s neck instead, feeling that calming rhythm once more instead. He curled his tail stronger around my right leg in response, body completely lax in my hold. It drew out an elated growl from my throat, only for it to collide with his own happy purrs. Or should I say two separate purring sounds? Because Lixie decided to join in too, his body completely pressed into my side. I pressed my nose into his neck too, cavity-inducing sweetness flooding my senses immediately. He craned his neck further to the side, granting me better access as I nuzzled into him even more.
A kick to my leg on the other side interrupted me.
“Yah, get a room you three, jesus.” - Lino shouted, a playful smirk sitting on his lips.
I merely glared back at him, until I realised what his words meant. My ears and cheeks instantly gained a red colour, embarrassment flooding my veins as I released Jin from my hold, leaning back from the felines as much as I could.
W-we didn’t-...I wasn’t–
“Minho, you interrupted their bonding time, you menace!” - Channie laughed as he playfully slapped the sly cat, who was laughing so hard he almost fell off the couch altogether. “B-but the look on his f-face, haha. It was worth it, oh my god. Even you can’t deny that, Chan hyung.” “Ah, well… Cough Of course we know you guys weren’t doing…that… Sigh I swear to god Lee Know, if you traumatised Bae with this so much he will never try to bond with us ever again, you will change rooms with Felix and bunk with me.” “NooooOOOoooO, anything but that! Let me gooo, you old man!”
“What’s happening here?” - Binnie suddenly asked, his form standing in front of the couch, observing the wrestling duo on the floor.
We merely shrugged, my eyes wandering away as I was still completely embarrassed.
“So you don’t know why you’re so red then, hmm, Bae hyung?” - he sang in a higher pitched voice, merely causing my blush to deepen. “Minho hyung teased him, saying we needed to ‘get a room’ for ourselves. Now he won’t look at us, or even touch us, look.” - Lixie explained, his hand nearing mine, but I hastily pulled it towards my chest, whole body scooting away from them -as much as it could with Jin still in my lap-. “Tch, he’s just jealous, don’t listen to him.” “I’m not! Yah, sToP–” “Yes he is. Now come here.”
With that, the little pika plopped right next to me, cornering me in with the two felines. Channie and Lino were still tangled up on the floor, the wolf having that menace of a cat in his hold. I simply froze up, not seeing any way I could escape from this.
Binnie just laid his head on my shoulder, careful to not put his entire weight on top of me.
“Oh yea, Changbinnie hyung, where were you?” - Lixie asked, his hands finding one of mine and gingerly massaging it, no matter how much I tried to wiggle out of his hold. “Ah, since you all were too busy, I said bye to Jisoo-ya. Helped him with his bags too.” - he casually replied, never once taking his head off of my shoulder. “What! He left already?! I wanted to say bye too…” “Ah, me too…” - Jin commented, worming his way back into my lap properly. “Well, we can all greet him when he gets home, how about that instead?” - butted in Channie, having finally finished wrestling with the sly cat.
I just silently watched as they happily made plans, their love for this human apparent. How could they trust him so easily? It made no sense to me, at all.
“Alright, let’s go and eat breakfast now, otherwise none of you will get lunch later. No, don’t look at me like that Hyunjin, off you go now. That episode of your drama can wait for you after you get back.” - Lino sternly said, ushering us away from the couch towards the kitchen.
While we all sat down around the table, he took out bowls from the fridge and some the microwave -its sound still unpleasant- and placed them in the middle of the table. Their contents all differed, so you could pick and choose from the ones you liked. I gathered some meat and rice with my sticks, not in the mood for vegetables at the moment.
Although the second I took my eyes off my plate, pieces of food appeared on it: some egg, steamed vegetables, things like that. When I looked to my left and right, the obvious culprits just giggled and continued stuffing their faces with the contents of their own bowls. As if their tails weren’t contently swaying behind them, these dummies.
They did this a lot, actually, placing food pieces on my plate. With the others, they bickered over it, stealing each others’ food as if their life depended on it, but with me, it was the total opposite. And when I tried to give them back, they shot me down so fast, I could only blink in response. So with a silent sigh, I ate everything on my plate, even as the portion nearly doubled in size.
“Alright, who wants to play some Monopoly?” - Lixie asked after we all finished, used bowls and sticks now clean and drying.
The others immediately perked up, fighting spirit burning in their eyes. The snow leopard raced to get the mentioned game, the others bounding over towards the couch, pushing things around so we could all sit at the table in the middle comfortably. I sat down with them, the game now being unboxed on the table.
“I wanna be the boot.” - I muttered while snatching the aforementioned figure, excited to play the game after many years.
“Huh?”
I looked up, only to be met with confused gazes. I tilted my head at them, ears flopping around with the motion.
“Don’t you need to choose one to play? I always liked this one. Ah, you wanted it?” - I asked, offering the metal figure to them.
Silence greeted me back, making my eyebrows only draw closer towards each other.
“Ah, uh, no, baby, you can have the boot. Then, everyone knows how to play I assume? Bae, Hyunjin?” - Channie finally answered with a pointed stare at the others, me and Jin nodding at the question directed towards us.
And thus, the long and arduous journey of us playing Monopoly started.
By the end, there was money thrown everywhere, the board was flipped upside down -courtesy of Lixie, who was crying on the floor under the table-. Lino was minutes away from murdering a very boastful Hyunjin -who had somehow won, even though he almost went bankrupt several times-, had a very tired looking Channie not held the cat back. Changbin simply gave up playing halfway, pouting and stuffing his face with snacks while watching us from the couch. And I was just a silent spectator of it all, because I was in jail 90% of the game.
Or, you know, some regular, fun Monopoly times.
I sighed in amusement, silently picking up the thrown away game pieces from the floor -some of them were even near the stairs and the kitchen, impressive-. The figures and little house pieces went into one hand, the paper money and cards into the other. Once my hands were full, I crawled back towards where I originally sat and placed everything down, turning around to gather more. This cycle needed to be done a few times before I collected them all, then I started assorting the money and cards out. Same coloured ones went into the same pile, and soon enough, I was done and ready to put them all away into the box.
By the time the others stopped their shenanigans, I was done packing up the game completely, now sitting next to a sulking Lixie and caressing his forehead. He hit his head on the table when he tried to sit up, the spot slightly red and angry. With how many times this had happened, you would think he did something unforgivable against these pieces of wood.
“Lix, look here.” - the wolf said, his fingers swiftly putting a bandaid onto the leopard’s forehead. “Be more careful mate, I’m afraid you’ll get permanent brain damage at this rate.” “Oi, it ain’t that bad.” “Felix, last week you hit your head so hard, there was a bump on it for several days.” - Binnie commented, earning a glare from the injured feline. “Oh come on…” “Hey, at least you can join Bae in the clumsy club.” - it was Lino this time, earning both of our glares as a reward.
Had Jin not stopped me from getting up, I would have pounced on that kitty cat.
Realising how late it had gotten, Lino went to make lunch, everyone else piling on top of the couch, Channie joining them after putting away the board game. I sat with them as well, although a bit further away this time, having had enough physical contact for a while.
“Wait, Bae hyung, you’re not helping Minho hyung this time?” - Lixie sweetly asked from Binnie’s hold.
I merely shook my head in response, still not over the cat’s teasing comment.
“Hang on, baby, are you pouting?” “No.” - I said but as I looked away, my eyes locked with the working feline’s in the kitchen, a wide grin spreading across his face. “Oh he definitely is!” - he shouted, making my ears burn in embarrassment.
I could only cover my face with my hands to hide, pulling my tail up to it as well for maximum coverage.
What was with them and making me absolutely and completely flustered lately?
Channie only giggled at my reaction, saying something along the lines of ‘shy baby’, Lixie and Binnie joining him. Jin wasn’t far behind, quickly realising he liked seeing me like this as well, much to my demise.
Weighing my choices, I immediately realised staying in the living room was to my disadvantage, so I hastily stood up -wobbling and almost hitting the arm of the couch on my way- and went into the kitchen. Dealing with one sly cat was still easier than dealing with four teasing hybrids.
"Look who showed up." - he greeted me, mischief flashing in his eyes.
I only glanced in his direction as a response, too tired to do anything else. As if sensing it, he stopped with the comments and teasing, peacefully telling me what to do in the kitchen.
We started gaining a certain rhythm the past few weeks, one we easily fell back into.
Thanks to it, the food was done in no time, the table ready and made. We quickly called the others to eat, lunch going much like how breakfast did. Maybe there was a bit more bickering than usual, everyone still feeling the effects of that Monopoly game, but nothing too tragic happened.
Soon enough we were on that sofa again, a sappy romance movie playing on the TV, like it usually did. I swear, if it wasn't Jin's series, then it was some kind of random, romance movie. Nothing else.
Its story was bland, not too bad, but not that good either. My interest quickly diminished, not helping the sudden feeling of exhaustion that swept over me. Not having slept for the night finally caught up to me, pulling my eyelids closed even as I fought against it.
But I couldn't win, sleep taking over me, head lolling onto the back of the couch.
-.-
Soft murmurs woke me up, the voices hushed and soft around me.
“Hyung, you knew this was coming sooner or later, we have to tell him.” “I know, I know, but…” “Chan hyung, it’s gonna be alright. He’s not as fragile as you think.”
The wolf merely sighed, as if the weight of the world sat upon his shoulders. I raised an arm to rub at my eyes before opening them, seeing everyone gathered together a small distance away from me. A quick stretch later I gazed up at them with a tilted head, not understanding, nor liking how tense they all seemed as they slowly approached me.
“Baby, you know how you’re part of our pack, right?” - Channie asked, his hands gingerly taking mine into their hold.
I nodded back with uncertainty, because even though I had a hard time wrapping my head around it, they always made sure I knew. I had no idea why they decided to accept me, the concept foreign to me, but every single time I thought about it, warmth spread through my veins.
It still felt like a lie to me.
“And because you are, we value your opinion too. So… how would you feel about a potential new pack member?”
A new… what now?
I glanced at Jin, the latest addition to the pack. It felt natural to have him around by now, his presence soothing, if not chaotic at times with his dramatic personality.
But it wasn’t always like that.
It pained me to remember the days we avoided the other, how he flinched whenever our gazes met. The way my body tensed up even against my will whenever I caught a whiff of his scent, how it reminded me of times I wished I could forget.
What if the other hybrid would react like that as well?
As if sensing my spiralling thoughts, the wolf gently squeezed my hands.
“Jisoo-ssi met a hybrid in the rehabilitation centre. We already met him one by one, but we don’t want to continue with things until we know you’re fine with it. He’s a sweet little squirrel hybrid, timid for sure, but he would never judge you, if that’s what you’re afraid of.” “Mhm, you don’t have to be scared of that, Bae hyung. He doesn’t care about how you look like, or what you smell like. Right, Hyunjinnie?” - Lixie added in as he sat down on my other side, the taller leopard humming in response. “He likes to eat and he’s not afraid of this house cat. What more proof do you need?” “What’s that supposed to mean, you little pika?” “Nothing!” “Guys, not now.”
The two immediately shut up at the wolf’s warning, only continuing to glare at each other.
“Will…you guys come too?” - my voice was quiet, unsure if I had the right to ask this of them. “Of course we will! As a matter of fact, we were thinking that we could visit him right now, if ya wanted to. Jisoo-ssi’s already there, waiting for our answer.” - Channie enthusiastically answered, his hand ruffling my hair aggressively.
Everyone started excitedly rushing around the place, each going to their rooms to get ready as fast as they could. I followed their example, walking up towards my room to change into a different set of loose pants and a hoodie. Maybe I could wear that red one? Or maybe that black one, with the thumb holes?
After a few minutes of thinking, I settled on the comforting black hoodie that now draped over my tall form, ready to depart.
Arriving back at the living room, mostly everyone was there, except Jin, who was still unable to decide between two shirts. Lixie just rolled his eyes and went to help him, the pair arriving back not even a minute later. Soon we were walking towards the car after getting our shoes on -such an uncomfortable thing, really-, and off we went towards that centre thing, sadly only after the wolf put that dreaded collar on me.
-.-
Fitted with a hat and a mask once more, I stepped out of the vehicle, only to have my arm immediately snatched by Lino. He didn’t even spare me a glance, just started walking towards the entrance of the building once everyone was ready to go.
And holy shit, there were a lot of people inside.
Everything hit me at once: the cacophony of smells, the rushing form of humans and hybrids, the sounds that bled together in disharmony.
It was all too much, my body already protesting and begging me to turn around and run away; to just shut down silently in a corner, surrounded by walls.
“Come on, this way baby.” - rang Channie’s soothing voice through my ears over the chaos, grounding my overwhelmed self.
His warm hand gently pushed on my rigid back, urging me forward along with the two hybrids holding my hands; they led me through the sea of people, their human now standing before us in a much less crowded space.
“Everyone okay, nothing happened while coming here?” - the tall human said -he was taller than even Hyunjin, i noticed-, worried eyes sweeping over all our forms. “No, no, we’re okay, no need to worry.” - the wolf replied, his hand still resting between my shoulder blades. “You’re always such a worrywart, Chan hyung has driven a lot of times before, have some faith in him.” - Lixie butted in, swinging our conjoined hands quite happily. “Yea, besides, we’re not children!” - at Changbin’s comment, the human levelled at him a stare so cold, the words froze into his shrinking form.
They all just laughed at his misery, some even doubling over and wheezing for air.
“Now that you all laughed yourselves out, kids, let’s go before we grow old just standing here. Wouldn’t wanna worry our little squirrel either, now would we?” - the human sent a wide smile at us and walked away, his steps seemingly confident in their path.
The walls along our journey were colourful, vibrant, hand-painted symbols and figures cluttering their forms. The overhead lights were warm, not too bright, but not too dim either; my eyes quickly adjusted to them without the need to squint or blink excessively. The air was fresh, a slight breeze pushing past our walking forms, carrying along the confusing mess of scents.
I… didn’t expect this.
Where was the white, the dull walls, the blindingly bright cold light, the stuffy, clean air? The quiet, neverending halls, the thick doors?
Where was it all?
“...ople can enter, 4 of you will have to stay behind, sorry.” - a different human’s voice slowly registered in my mind, body immediately going fully rigid once more.
When did this one appear?
“Oh, it’s alright, I’ll stay behind with Hyunjin, Felix and Changbin hyung. You three can go in, how about that?” - their human answered, his gaze landing on us.
Channie and Minho responded, a squeeze on my hand and a little push on my back was all I got before I was ushered into a small room, the only occupant already up and walking around nervously. Lino squeezed my hand once more before letting go and joining the unknown hybrid, the two interacting as if they were long lost friends. My presence was momentarily forgotten by the duo, something I used to my advantage in observing this new place and hybrid.
The air was filled with the salty smell of the ocean, as if it was trying to drag me down and drown me in its depths. I didn’t need to take a deeper breath to feel it, my sensitive nose able to feel it even with the smallest intake of air; just the thought alone made my stomach roll violently. The source of the smell was the jumpy little squirrel; small little ears peeking from his mop of dark brown hair, a bushy tail curled up behind him. They all shared light colours, like grey and white, immediately tickling me strangely.
Usually squirrels were some type of brown or red coloured, maybe even black. But he had a different colour scheme, one that for some reason didn’t sit well with me. One that was slightly familiar, but not fully? It was weird, really weird.
Before I could dwell on it more, the wolf -who i had forgotten about in all honesty- led me to a chair, wordlessly telling me to sit down. I abided, even though we were closer to the two conversing hybrids now as a result, causing my body to shudder. I wasn’t paying attention to their conversation, but a whisper of ‘Is he okay?’ hit my ears, causing my brows to furrow. Was the squirrel talking about me?
“Baby, I’ll get you some water, stay here, I’ll be right back.” “N-no, don’t–” - I tried to say, but why did my voice waver and shake so much?
Oh… my whole body was shaking.
“Jisung-ssi, can we move some of your things from a corner of the room? Preferably one that has the least of your scent.” “Y-yea, uh, l-lemme help, here.”
There was some shuffling and moving around as I desperately clung to Channie, his familiar scent my last line of defence before I completely gave up and emptied my stomach then and there. He held me close, hand rubbing little circles into my shoulder, providing me the minimum of comfort he could.
Why was this happening to me? Again?
Was I so weak that being in a new place caused me to crumble and become undone so easily? Was I really?
I hated this so much. So, so much.
“Alright baby, I’m gonna pick you up, is that alright?” - his gentle voice asked and I merely nodded, too busy trying to control my body and not appear any weaker in front of them, if that was even possible.
True to his words, he picked me up, my body gingerly placed in an empty corner of the room, the walls feeling nice and cool as I pressed into them for more. In that chase of the calming cold, I let my head fall back with closed eyes, no doubt messing up the hat that sat upon it. But I really did not care about that at the moment, not at all, that was the least of my worries.
Feeling that the walls had more or less warmed up thanks to my feverish skin, I let my head fall onto my knees that were pulled close to my chest, the position slightly helping me with my nausea.
“Bae, can you hear me?” - Lino’s voice reached my ears, a hum leaving my lips as a response.
“Baby, do you want to leave the room?” “Nno… outside worse… nausea” - I somehow gritted out and opened my eyes, not feeling the room spinning anymore.
Worried gazes and scents greeted me back, only causing my ears to push into my head under the hat even more in guilt.
“Sorry, am good now.”
“You don’t have to be sorry, baby, you did nothing wrong. Do you need anything to make you feel better?”
I merely shook my head as an answer, the guilt not dissipating in the slightest.
I felt like a burden, always needing some type of care and special attention. They couldn’t go out with me and not worry, someone always having to be by my side and literally hold my hand.
It was frustrating.
I was frustrated with myself.
“Y-you know, it always helps me to cuddle with a plushie after an episode. The bigger, fluffier, better smelling, the better. I would lend you one, but that would be uh… quite counterproductive, dontcha think?” - the squirrel quietly said, his far away sitting form almost in the middle of the room; his comment made a sweetly mellow smelling hoodie appear in my arms, my appendages gathering the fabric together in a ball and cuddling it.
“Counting my breathing and tapping to it also helps. Sometimes it gives nice ideas for songs too, heh.” - and he was right, silently following my breathing did smooth it out a bit.
Closing my eyes and taking a deep breath of the hoodie in my arms, I could feel my pulse calming and the knot in my stomach slightly unwinding. It wouldn’t become completely undone, no, not when I was not in my den, my home, but being in this room was still a much better choice than being out in that busy hallway.
Opening my eyes once more, I inhaled that comforting scent yet again and looked at the owner of the hoodie. His expression softened out, eyes slightly crinkling up in happiness. His scent sweetened, taking me to that flower field I loved so much.
And that field was surrounded by the vast forest, moss and other creatures abundant in it. It felt freeing, something I desperately needed in this closed off building. And Chan gave it to me, his dimples peeking out as a reward when I glanced at him.
My chest felt lighter, the room becoming brighter.
But through it all, the underlying smell of salt and wind and rain remained there.
Glancing at the last occupant of the room, my eyes met with the squirrel’s, his dark ones lighting up in response. He smiled, lips turning heart-shaped and I just didn’t understand.
Why was he so happy? Was it because I looked at him?
Why?
I could only tilt my head in confusion before nodding at him from behind the hoodie in my arms, thankful for his advice. He let out a breath he held, his form sagging as he laid down on the floor. The other two next to me lightly laughed at his reaction, their forms sagging a bit too and sitting down heavily on the floor from their crouched position.
I had no idea what was happening, but they smelled fine and they were laughing and smiling, so I guessed it was okay. Even though it made no sense to me.
“Bae, you sure ya don’t need anything?” - Chan asked once more, Lino looking at me as well.
I just shook my head, but then realised something.
“Go, calm the others down. They smell panicked. Worried.” - I grated out, my throat still clogged up and voice raspy.
I didn’t need to tell them twice, Chan was out the door in an instant, his surprise from my statement wearing off quickly. I could hear them through the wall, my worry proven to be right. As Chan was speaking, their scents slowly turned back to their normal state, becoming less sour and tainted.
It allowed me to let out a sigh of relief, my brows letting up a little.
“Bae, did you smell them?” - Lino’s soft voice cut through the silence, gathering my attention immediately. “Mhm.” “I’m always amazed by how impressive that nose of yours is. We couldn’t, not even Chan. And he’s the pack leader.”
Ah, so that was why the wolf looked so surprised initially. I nodded back at the cat back slowly, unsure what to make of this. But before I could think more on the matter, the smell of sand and sun picked up, the little squirrel in the centre of my attention.
“Ah, s-sorry, I just wanted to stand up and stretch a bit. I won’t go closer, promise!” - the herbivore quickly added in, his arms flailing around in panic.
I gently shook my head in response, silently telling him that it was fine. I could handle the smells for now, Lino’s hoodie strong enough to deter them until I could fight them off by myself. But if that skittish boy made himself panic even more, causing his smell to become the epitome of salt and storm, I would probably empty my stomach sooner rather than later.
So I looked next to me, at the sitting form of our cat, and I made sure to look into his eyes, then look back at the squirrel a few times. His eyebrows furrowed, mouthing an ‘Are you sure?’, but I nodded at him firmly.
With a last squeeze of my arm, he stood up and went to the squirrel, dragging him to the bed in a half-hug. They plopped onto it with a force, only thanks to Lino.
“E-eh? But, but the wolf, he-” “Will be fine, Han. He asked me to come to you. See? No need to be afraid. Told you he will like you.”
They whispered back and forth, probably thinking I couldn’t hear them. But I could, my ears flicking once or twice in response, messing up the hat even further. Their conversation went away from me quickly though, venturing into the territory of everyday topics and similar interests. I tuned them out soon after I realised that, not wanting to eavesdrop.
There was no need for that now.
The door opening stole my attention, my head craning to the side to see the wolf creeping in, quickly shutting the door gently after he squeezed himself through. His face lit up when he saw I was already watching him, those dimples of his apparent.
“Hiii baby, how’re you doin’?” - he sang out as he sat back next to me, the lush forest back with full force in my senses.
Before I could even hum in response, he playfully glared at me, making me huff.
“Fine.” - I replied instead vocally, not happy about the situation. “Good job baby. Brought you some water, in case you actually needed it.”
I thanked him quietly and took the offered bottle, my limbs aching from the sudden movement. The joints groaned and popped, my muscles tensed and relaxed. My position suddenly felt uncomfortable, everything ached and protested. Still, I took the bottle and with a satisfying pop, it was open, the contents downed in a matter of seconds.
Licking my lips to catch an escaping droplet, I wiped my face with the sleeve of my own hoodie and put down the now empty bottle onto the ground. I felt fine enough, my stomach not rolling in waves of nausea, so I gently stood up and watched the two on the bed cuddle and talk.
“You can join them, ya kno’.” - Chan’s whisper entered my ears, his form next to me as he gently grabbed my shoulders.
I glanced at him, then back at the two.
“Or ya can stay here. It’s fine.”
With a squeeze, he finished what he wanted to say and grabbed the empty water bottle, going to the little trash can on the other side of the room to dispose of it.
But I stayed in my spot.
The two hybrids seemed to be absorbed in their own world, their scents happy and content. Their eyes shined in the other’s presence, their smiles just a bit brighter.
When they caught me staring, they directed those smiles at me, the squirrel even shyly waving in my direction. My eyes widened in surprise, but I tried to wave back, my hand half-raised and stiff. They both laughed at that, but no malice was in it. No, the sound was light as it rang through the air, as if we were home in our den, the pack together and having fun.
A knock broke the serene atmosphere.
Their human peeked his head in, searching for Chan and looking at him with an apologetic expression as he whispered a ‘We need to go, sorry.’ to him. The wolf nodded back, then the door closed again and we were alone in the heavy atmosphere.
I watched as Lino said goodbye to the little herbivore, the latter looking really sad. But the cat ruffled his hair and promised him that he would come back soon, improving the mood a little.
The wolf was next, playfully tousling the squirrel’s hair as well, promising him the same thing. With a final hug, they were done, all eyes set on me.
I waved at the little hybrid, slightly dreading going out to the hallways again. He waved back with a small smile, something sad hidden on his face.
The other two hybrids walked to the door, looking at me expectantly to join them.
And yet, I didn’t.
No, I looked back at the sad little boy on the bed and walked up to him, fidgeting slightly in my spot once I reached him. He looked up at me, eyes wide and glistening.
“Can I… Can I ask for something of yours?” - my voice was so quiet, it was a miracle he heard it at all. “Oh uh, of course, what would you like?” - he quickly answered after he got over his surprise, expression brightening.
“Just. Just something that has your scent on it.” - I muttered out, embarrassed of my request.
His whole face lit up after a few seconds, quickly standing up and scrambling around for something to give me. Eventually he settled on a big plushie, just the right size for cuddling. He shyly extended it towards me, and I took it, equally embarrassed. I was sure my cheeks were gradually heating up with every second, and gosh did I not want the others to see it. I wouldn’t be able to escape their teasing…
Hugging it to my chest in my arms, the smell of sunshine and salt hit me, along with the scent of mellow flowers. Only then did I realise I was still clutching onto Lino’s hoodie as if it was my lifeline, my knuckles white from the force. I quickly relaxed my hold, nodding in thanks to the little herbivore and taking a last glance at his now much brighter expression as he waved at us.
The door closed and the chaotic arrangement of smells was back, making me lean down and bury my nose into Lino’s hoodie that was draped partly over the plushie. Looking up afterwards, I was met with the playful look on Lino and Chan’s faces, and the surprised and somehow betrayed look on everyone else’s.
I tilted my head at that, not sure why they looked at me like that. Their human merely chuckled, pushing Lix into my direction. That broke the boy out of his stupor, quickly coming up to me and looking into my eyes with his own sparkling ones.
“Is that Jisung’s? Is that plushie Jisung’s, Hyung? Is it?” - he rambled out and I lightly nodded at that, holding it out for him to take if he wanted to.
The boy snatched it quickly, looking at it and back up at me in disbelief.
“Channie hyung, are ya sure Bae hyung is fine? He didn’t hit his head or… he didn’t get any permanent side effects or anything…?” “I can assure you Lixie, that is the Bae you’ve known from the beginning.” - the wolf answered back, a playful lilt in his voice.
Lix looked at the cat next, disbelief still evident on his face. But Lino merely nodded, amused by the whole shenanigans in front of him. A hand was suddenly on my forehead, my out of place hat not helping in blocking it.
“You don’t feel hot either. That can only mean one thing: Hyung, you betrayed us! You like him more than us!” - there went Jin with his theatrics, looking hurt.
I quickly learned that he was just faking it, his scent easily betraying his true mood. And he was just mildly annoyed, if at all. But behind his tall form was a pouting little pika, his arms crossed in front of his chest and his lower lip jutting out. He was half turned away from me, his usually fresh scent a bit too sour.
Was he… was he actually hurt by my actions?
He kept glancing at me and away, but as he saw my expression he suddenly walked in front of me and hugged me, his face smushed into my chest.
“Stupid Bae hyung, I’m not actually angry at you. But I do require cuddles from you when we get home! As payback!” - his voice was loud, even muffled. “Hey, me too!” - Lix butted in, quickly catching up to the situation. “Me three!” - Jin shouted in as well, making me start to dread going home. “Yah, don’t leave us out! Right, Minho?” - Chan said as he giggled, Lino sighing because he knew he couldn’t back out of this one.
And that cat enjoyed it anyway, he just denied it. I could tell.
Glancing over their forms, my eyes reached their human’s, his expression gentle and warm. When he noticed I was watching him, his smile widened a tad bit before he looked away, telling the others that it was time to go home. They whined a bit, but eventually started following the human, Lix taking his hand and swinging it around happily. This drew a laugh out of the human, but his grip only tightened on the feline’s small hand. The excited feline’s scent sweetened impossibly, his happiness apparent to everyone around them.
Changbin went to the other side of the human, chatting with the two, a big smile on his face. He hooked his little pinky together with the human’s, the latter quickly accepting it without hesitation. The herbivore’s scent was the freshest I had ever felt, the citrus mixing with the candy and happily wafting through the air.
That was when I’d truly realised just how important that human was to them.
My eyes drifted to that familiar hand holding mine, the motion feeling a bit wrong now. Would they leave me if I disliked their human? Would they force me out, just because of that? What would they do if I accidentally attacked him when I wasn’t myself? When the terrors of my past choked the life out of me?
What would they do then?
As if sensing my thoughts, I felt a small squeeze on my hand. Looking up, I saw that he wasn’t looking at me, no, he was invested in talking with the other three in front of us, but the way his grip subtly tightened felt good. It felt comforting, as if I was needed.
Looking to my other side, where my other arm was clutched at, I saw Jin. His hold was gentle, careful to not twist the hoodie out of my hold against my chest. He occasionally ran his thumb over my arm, going back and forth in a soothing motion. Maybe he did it unconsciously, or maybe he didn’t, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Glancing slightly behind me, I was met with Chan, the plushie I got from the little squirrel under one of his arms -why and how it ended up with him, i had no idea-. He smiled at me brightly, his dimples fully on display. It eased the knot in my chest, his expression softening. His hand reached towards my head, fixing my hat and brushing a few stray strands of hair out of my face. His eyes roamed over my form and with a satisfied hum, he turned towards the others and told them we were ready to go.
When did we stop and for how long had we been standing there, I had not the slightest idea.
I only blinked at them as I was tugged away by my arms, soon sitting in that hateful car and speeding off towards home.
-.-.-
The next few days after our visit to the little squirrel went by uneventfully. Mostly.
I spent my days in the presence of others, like I usually did. I watched his shows with Jin, providing him company. I cooked with Lino, even though he teased me and for some reason seemed really interested in my bottom. Changbin and Felix usually stole me away from the others for cuddles, sometimes even at night. And Chan…
Well, Chan felt stressed.
His scent was off, the forest drowning in rain and the roots rotting. I could feel it immediately, the smell hitting me after he disappeared to talk with the human. And I suspected he knew it too, because he had been avoiding me as much as he could. No more was the cuddly, giggly wolf, there was only an awkward, colder version in its place.
I hated it.
So the next time I caught a glance of the human -because Channie shut himself in a room-, I decided to take action. Carefully extracting the sleeping snow leopard off my form, I hastily strode towards the kitchen where my target resided. He was getting himself a cup of water, but he must not have heard me, because as he turned around, he almost immediately dropped it.
“Jesus christ, you fucking scared me.” - he whispered out, a hand clutching his chest in panic.
I apologised, my ears lowering towards my head in guilt. It was never my intention to scare him, I just wanted to talk, nothing else.
“Don’t worry, I’m just a scaredy cat. The others like to tease me for it actually.” - he chuckled out, waving his hand in the air in a dismissive manner, causing me to relax a bit.
“So, what brings you here?”
I looked at him as he was watching me, sipping on his drink and waiting for my reply patiently. He didn’t seem annoyed or angry, his faint scent still the same, giving me enough courage to actually ask him what I had wanted to.
“3 days ago, what did you talk about with Chan?”
He lowered his cup, his expression dimming immediately. His eyes had a sad glint in them, even though his lips were slightly curled up.
“So you noticed, huh? Agh, Channie hyung, you always make stupid decisions when trying to protect others. Come, I’ll tell you.” - he grunted out, a hand messing up his hair in stress.
I raised an eyebrow, not understanding why we needed to change rooms, but followed him nonetheless.
His smaller form led the way into one of the boys’ rooms, hand still messing with his hair, all the while muttering light profanities at the wolf and the situation. It was a bit amusing, to be quite honest, because he wasn’t truly angry. No, he still smelled like cut grass next to a candy shop, even if it was a bit sour now, as if the shop closed for the day.
“ Sigh The reason why he’s avoiding you is because some problems came up… regarding you. No, no, not with you, just about you! Don’t look like a kicked puppy, please!” - he said as he leaned against the door, arms frantically flailing around at the end.
Before I really had any chance to think about what he said and start thinking how they might be planning on getting rid of me, he continued.
“Remember when you were out clothes shopping with the boys? Apparently you caught the eye of a few people, desperate to learn more about you and your species. They’ve gone so far as to approach me about buying you when we went to visit Ji. The fucking gall of those people. Had Hyune and the others not been there, I would have punched them in the face straight up. That’s what we’ve been working on, just me and Chan. But they’re really persistent, no matter what we do, they keep making a scene on the internet. It’s giving me a headache, in all honesty. Chan’s avoiding you because he didn’t want you to know, to worry and potentially have an attack. You already have enough on your plate, he didn’t want to add more onto it.”
The human, no, Jisoo rambled on, massaging his head in frustration and exhaustion. Now that I paid more attention, there were dark circles under his eyes, his skin was even paler than usual and his voice quiet, borderline whispering.
I felt…conflicted, weird.
He… he’s been protecting me this whole time, and I was afraid he was planning on doing the exact opposite of that. Just the thought made me push my ears into my head, tail lifeless and between my legs. My lips curved slightly downwards, my chest feeling heavy with emotions.
He did all that, even though…
“Bae hyung?”
Even though he probably knew what I had done. What I had been running from all this time.
“Hey, do you need me to call one of them here for you? Just sit down, please.”
It hurt.
“You knew all this time, didn’t you?” - my voice whispered out, eyes cast downwards and hands clutching my hoodie. “Knew what?” - he asked back, voice now impossibly soft. “You never asked questions. Not about my species, my presence in this house, your house, and not about my previous owners. Even though you must have gotten access to my files after the checkup.”
His legs entered my downcast vision, a hand slowly reaching towards mine. I could have stepped away at any given chance, but… I didn’t. No, I simply stood there, letting him take one of my hands into his, allowing him to gently cradle it.
“I do.”
He didn’t say anything more. No, he just stood there in silence, holding my hand and drawing shapes in it as my vision blurred and lower lip wobbled.
Jisoo said nothing as he allowed me, a murderer, to silently cry in the room, giving me comfort I didn’t deserve.
-.-
After that fateful day, Jisoo must have told Chan about what happened, because the wolf just stopped avoiding me completely. He greeted me with an apologetic smile, allowing me to wrestle him into my lap with a huff.
Fucking idiot, worrying me and the others.
Because while they knew about the situation, what he’s been dealing with, they were still incredibly worried and wanted to help. Help, that finally wasn’t rejected by him, lightening up the atmosphere immediately.
So as we were just sitting on the living room’s couch, Channie in my lap as I completely engulfed his giggling form, he and the others were talking about possible solutions for the thorn in their side. I didn’t understand a lot of it, only some computer-related words making sense to me.
“What if we just dox them?” “Felix, we can’t just do that!” - Chan immediately shot down the idea, causing the others to groan in protest.
I just sighed and buried my head into his neck, unwanted wisps of past conversations and scenarios popping into my head. Back when I wasn’t like this, when I had a stable job and a clear future.
“Just let them be.”
Getting no response, I looked up from my hiding place and was met with surprised and confused expressions.
“Baby, we can’t just do that. It’s your life on the line.” “Yeah, what makes you say that?” - Felix asked me, his brows furrowed and lips slightly jutted out in a pout.
I sighed out at what the two said, tired of this already.
“My face and ears were hidden, right? Then it’s fine, they can’t recognise me. Besides, if you really won’t sell me, they’ll give up eventually, just keep rejecting them.” - I replied, head laying on Channie’s shoulder as a wave of exhaustion hit me. “Oh my god, I’ve never heard him speak so much.” - Lino added in, a genuine shocked expression sitting on his face along with the others’.
I furrowed my brows at that, rolling my eyes in response. First I didn’t speak enough, then I spoke too much.
“Good job baby, I’m so proud of ya!” - the wolf giggled out as he wriggled in my hold, reversing it even against my protests.
Eventually I accepted my fate, laying in his arms as he cooed at me. Although that proved to be the wrong decision, as the others came to their senses and piled on top of me. Even that menace of a cat, only to slap my bottom and earn a strangled sound out of me. I couldn’t retaliate or stop him even if I wanted to, Channie and the others basically held me down as they snuggled into me, as if they wanted to crawl into my skin.
Needless to say, the felines started purring immediately in the cuddle pile, while Channie let out elated growls and Binnie just happily absorbed it all, occasionally giving out his own short, high-pitched chirps. Their scents enveloped me, allowing me to take a moment and walk in my favourite place and relax.
My eyes crinkled as I saw the trees were now enveloped in sunlight, the rot in their roots now nowhere to be found. Even though the wind sometimes picked up, it was quickly balanced out by the scent of sugar and citrus it carried along. They danced around in the air as I ran, following a path that I took so many times that I knew it by heart, just to arrive in that flower field with an easel in the middle. The flowers were still mellow, their colour faint and pastel. But they were constantly there, livening up the place with their presence. The easel had a canvas on it, paint tubes sitting on the little shelf at the bottom. The white fabric had splotches of colour, all different, yet harmonising perfectly.
It was my safe haven.
The thought wasn’t scary anymore, I was happy that I had a place I could call my own. To call people my own.
No, I wasn’t afraid of that, not anymore. Only the thought of what I would sacrifice for them froze the blood in my veins.
Because deep down, I already knew the answer.
-.-
When I awoke, I found myself on the couch, a blanket draped over my form. The room was plunged into darkness, only the soft light of the moon illuminating the furniture.
I was alone, the warmth of the others having lost disappeared, yet the blanket still smelled strongly of them.
Slowly sitting up, my joints cracked and popped, making a satisfied sigh leave my form. I draped the blanket over my shoulders, its scent giving me a sense of comfort. As I silently padded over to the kitchen -my throat was absolutely parched-, I thought over what to do.
Sleep eluded me the moment I opened my eyes, having slept over most of the afternoon, so that was out of the question. Watching something on the TV was also in a similar situation, because I was afraid it would wake someone up accidentally. And also because they still wouldn’t let me use the remote by myself. I had no idea why.
But then a ray of moonlight caught my eye, its faint, bluish shine drawing my gaze to its source. The moon looked alluring, its form full and radiant.
Not even a minute later I found myself on the patio, sitting down on the small stairs that led to the lush grass and laying against the railing next to me.
It was peaceful, something I never really had the chance to just… admire. To take a moment, sit down and relax, enjoy what was around me.
Living on the streets was stressful.
But now, I didn’t have to worry about that anymore, something still hard to believe. The others worked hard everyday to drill it into my head, so it wasn’t a foreign concept anymore, but still.
I could just sit down and gaze at the moon whenever I wanted to, not needing to look over my shoulder every second. So I did exactly that, letting my mind wander around from topic to topic, creating new worlds and stories.
I didn’t even know how long I had been sitting there, until the scent of charcoal and paint caught my attention, the sound of footsteps soon following. My ears flicked in response, my body still relaxed, knowing it was just Jin and I was safe.
He soundlessly sat down onto a chair behind me, granting me a silent companion for the night. I didn’t mind, his presence soothing on the cold night, thankful that he didn’t cuddle up to me. I hit my limit for the day with that last one.
As I was connecting the stars in my mind, creating different shapes, the sound of graphite on paper hit my ears, soft strokes leaving a trail on the paper. It wasn’t hard to guess that Jin was the source, probably sketching something out as inspiration hit him.
His scent was strong, as if he himself was turning into a work of art, an obvious sign of his elated mood. It drew a small smile on my face, my tail swishing a few times lazily on the wooden boards.
That was how we spent our time, me, silently gazing at the sky and the slowly rising sun, him, silently sketching. We existed in each other’s presence, taking a break from the chaos that the group usually brought with itself.
But even the most tranquil of times had to be broken, as the sun had completely risen and woken the others up, based on the soft taps of socked feet I started hearing.
“Come on Dal hyung, let’s go greet the others.” - Jin suggested, making me stand up and follow him out, his little dimples peeking out as he smiled at me brightly.
I didn’t even question the name he used, his smile was way too cute to possibly ruin.
“Oh, good morning. How was your night?” - surprisingly Jisoo asked, surprised at our forms coming in from the backyard. “Morning! It was good, we were stargazing the whole night.” - Jin answered for us as I just nodded in response. “Sounds good boys. Little reminder that we’ll be picking up Ji to foster today, so don’t be late please. And Bae hyung, don’t forget your appointment. Bring anything comforting with you for it, but the doc needs to check if your injuries are properly healed. Have fun, I’ll see you guys later.” - with a headpat for Jin and a smile for me, he dashed out the door, seemingly in a hurry.
The others heard it and hurried to say goodbye to him, either in the form of a hug or a headpat. Felix even almost fell down, he was so determined to get that hug in. I almost laughed at him, almost.
Knowing that I couldn’t escape that visit because of the doctor, I headed up to my den and gathered a few things up. First was the squirrel’s plushie, placed away on the table, so it wouldn’t have any other scent sticking to it too much. I didn’t want to bring it with me, but I needed to smell it, so I wouldn’t get immediately overwhelmed by the herbivore himself. But that was why I asked for the plushie in the first place, to get used to his scent and not have an accident like with Jin. And it worked, the salt and sun wasn’t tainted by the smell of rotting seaweed and fish. It was very faint, so I was satisfied.
Secondly, I laid out my comfort hoodie that was stashed away in a box. I put it there because it was scented by everyone and I was afraid it would disappear if I left it with my other clothes. But the more I thought about that visit, the more nervous I became, so I opted to just put the clothing on instead, letting its big form engulf me.
It only took one sniff for my shoulders to start relaxing, my thoughts straying away from those darker places.
Grabbing the round plushie -it was a white rabbit, extremely soft and plush-, I went out of my room to join the others, knowing it was time for breakfast soon and Lino would barge into my den no problem.
The moment they saw me, everyone greeted me, Lix waddling up to me and making grabby hands, eyes still full of sleep and dreams. I sighed lightly, a small smile on my face as I knew what this meant already, witnessing him doing it to the others plenty of times. He just never asked me of this.
I threw the plushie onto the couch, my arms now empty and already lifting up the feline, placing him onto my hips. His limbs instantly latched onto me, purrs erupting from his chest as he nuzzled into my neck. I pat his back a few times, going to join the others as I greeted them with a little nod.
“Damn, I’m jealous.”
Bin?
“Yah, me too.”
Channie??
“Me three.”
Jin???
“We can eat snow leopard steak tonight.”
Lino?!???!
I couldn’t help, but step back and shield the already sleeping boy in my arms, horrified eyes fixated on the feline brandishing a knife. He quickly put it down, striding towards me with raised and open hands.
“I was joking, just joking, jagi. Go and sit at the table with the others, breakfast will be done soon, okay?” - he apologetically whispered out, tucking a strand of hair away from my face.
I nodded, cheeks heated as I silently took my seat with the little feline in my hold.
“Lix, hey, Lixie, wake up.” - I tried to gently nudge him awake, but he only groaned and buried his face deeper into my chest, earning a sigh from me.
I knew how he got in the early morning, I witnessed it a few times already after all. He was basically stuck to you, as if you were his personal radiator.
So I simply wrestled his limbs off of me -with great force, even though he was still half asleep- and turned him around in my lap, so he was facing the table as well.
The others just gaped at us, mainly me, as the boy in my lap just widely blinked up at me before a bright smile broke out on his freckled cheeks.
“Okay so you just need to make grabby hands at him. Now we know the strategy.” - the wolf said, as if it was the most normal thing to blurt out. “Didn’t think it would be this easy, but here we are. I wanna be the next.” “That’s unfair, Hyunjin, I wanted to be!” - Binnie shouted out, making me slightly startle from the volume. “You were too slow, get fucked.” “Hey! Language!” “Oh come on Chan, just shut up and eat. You two as well.” - Lino exclaimed with a pointed look, having finished with bringing out the food.
I was already busy with filling up my plate, all with things that Lix liked and made his eyes sparkle. It drew a little chuckle out of me, because I basically had to feed him, seeing as he refused to eat on his own. Every bite earned a delighted hum from him, his tail happily curling around in the air.
Being so absorbed in feeding him and watching his reactions, I had forgotten to eat, thus I found myself face-to-face with a piece of food. It was Lino, something that didn’t surprise me, because he did this a lot. It was his silent way of taking care of the other, so I accepted the food with no complaints. His scent sweetened, earning a little hum from me.
“Look, Dal hyung’s tail is wagging so much. I’ve never seen it like that before.” - Bin whispered to Channie, the two’s eyes trained on my form.
I instantly looked behind and sure enough, he was right. Blood rushed to my cheeks, my tail stilling as I willed it to do so and fed Lixie the last of his food. He leaned against me, content purrs never stopping leaving his chest. I slightly tightened my hold on his waist, my other arm collecting food for myself. Even though Lino fed me -and the others a bit too, even though they were jealous-, I was still hungry.
“Babyyy, why did you stop? It was sooo cute!” - Channie whined, deepening the blush on my cheeks. “You’re going to turn him into a tomato at this rate, Chan hyung.” - Jin butted in, snickering. “Oh as if you aren’t part of this!” “You’re damn right I am.” “Lix, you can borrow that sweater I never let you have if you let me have your place.” - Binnie took the chance while the other two bickered. “Deal.”
That was how I found myself with a pika stuck to me on the couch after we all finished eating, the small herbivore not letting me go even when I went to get some water from the kitchen. No, he was just like Lixie, while Channie and Jin pouted on the other end of the couch. Lino just watched it with amusement in his eyes, taking some pictures for future blackmail against all of us.
I just let it happen at that point, ready to accept that I would not be left alone for the rest of the day.
And I was right, because when I went to help Lino in the kitchen with lunch, I had to do so with a pika stuck to my torso. I managed, but thanks to that I couldn’t dodge all of Lino’s slaps, his satisfied chuckles still ringing in my ears.
They would be the death of me, I was certain.
I was only let go when it was time to go, my mind having forgotten about that due to all the shenanigans that had happened. My pulse immediately picked up slightly, only rising while I went and changed my pants into something else that I could wear outside.
The collar I had to wear didn’t help.
-.-
Once again I found myself standing before that hybrid rehabilitation centre, fitted with a mask and a hat, one of my hands held by Lino.
In we went as a group, the young ones leading the way, while Chan brought up the back. It was the usual setup, me in the centre somewhere, supported and comforted by everyone’s presence. My stomach was rolling from the presence of people and all the smell, the thought of what was going to happen soon not helping the slightest.
But I followed them silently, obediently. I had no choice, but to.
“Did anything happen while I was away?” - Jisoo asked, his eyes looking over our forms critically and meticulously. “Dal hyung cheated on me!” - I could only stare with wide eyes at Jin, caught by surprise, while the human just laughed. “And how did that happen, Hyunjin hyung?” “First of all, if you call me so formally once more, I will have revenge. Second of all, he cuddled AND fed Felix! Then he cuddled Changbin! Can you believe that??” “Sorry, sorry, it just feels wrong to not call you guys like this. Forgive me Hyune.” - Jisoo laughed, bending over to gasp for air as the others laughed with him, Jin’s theatrics amusing them.
Not me though, I would have ran away and dug myself a grave had Lino not been holding my hand so tight, his knuckles were turning white.
After everyone calmed down and teased me until I swore my ears were red under my hat, the human asked me something weird.
“And Bae hyung, how do you like the name Hyune came up with?” - his eyes were warm and held no malice, only some teasing lights could be seen shining in them.
Ah, so Jin really did give it to me.
I merely smiled, eyes turning into crescents as I looked at the floor, not giving them a verbal response. But they knew, they could tell what my answer was. I felt it.
“Alright, I’ll get the papers done then. Let’s go, before they usher us out for lazing around and being in the way.” - Jisoo instructed lightheartedly, leading the way down a hallway.
We took different turns than last time, but the place remained the same; colourful walls illuminated by warm lights, fresh air being let in by huge windows littered on them. It allowed me to stay relaxed just enough to not bolt, my shoulders hunched as I squeezed Lino’s hand for reassurance. He responded every single time, not late even by a second.
“Baby, do you want someone to go in with you?” - Channie asked, his voice low and soothing.
I instantly nodded, hesitantly grabbing onto his shirt. He smiled, taking that hand in his and rubbing over my knuckles gently. He talked to the others for a bit, but I zoned out as I was focusing on my breathing, trying to not let my body shake and panic consume me.
It would be fine, it was just a quick checkup, nothing more.
“Ah, Bae-ssi, there you are. I assume you arrived fine?” - the doctor greeted me enthusiastically, but his eyes drifted towards my companion as the question left his lips. “We did, don’t worry, doctor. Thank you for accepting us.” - the wolf replied, bowing. “Oh come on Chan-ssi, I keep telling you not to be so uptight, but you’re so stubborn. I’m just doing my job, nothing special. This treatment should be the norm, so shush. Now, Bae-ssi, please sit down with your back facing me and pull up your hoodie.”
I did as the human instructed, Channie’s form in front of me as my eyes were cast down towards the floor, his hands massaging my shoulders. I felt some light touches along my back and heard the human hum sometimes, but nothing else happened. Then he asked me to face him, his hands now hovering near my head.
Thankfully he only touched me if it was purely necessary, the wolf behind me helping him with getting my hair out the way most of the time. I was grateful for that, the knot in my stomach not tightening more thanks to his actions.
“Alright, I can happily announce that you’re completely healed, only the faintest of scars remaining in some places. You wouldn’t even notice them if you didn’t know they were there. Really, Bae-ssi, your healing factor is amazing. Now, any discomfort, pain or anything that I should know about? Have you been alright?” - the human said in a cheerful voice, his chair rolling along the floor as he was searching around for something on his desk.
I hummed in denial, after all, I felt completely fine. Even my throat seemed to have recovered, speech not painful anymore. I still preferred non-verbal communication, much to the dismay of the others.
The human hummed in reply, accepting my answer. But then my vision directed upwards, my eyes staring into Channie’s. He smiled at me, his eyes warm nebulas I could get lost in and I almost did as his thumbs gently went back and forth on my skin.
I heard the wheels on the human’s chair squeak as he rolled back over, but the wolf didn’t let go of my head to let me look. Not even as my sleeve was rolled up, no, his hold on me was firm as he changed position and came to my other side in front of me, pushing my head into his abdomen.
That left a weird feeling in my chest, my heart starting to hammer in its little cage.
And then I felt a stinging sensation in my arm.
My body immediately tensed up, hands flying towards him, desperately trying to push him away by gripping onto his hoodie, even as he tightened his grip on me. But I couldn’t win against him, not when one of my hands was held in place, another sting following the previous one.
My mind was spiralling, taking me back to places I didn’t want to ever go back to.
The fabric on my back was suddenly too thin, as if nothing was there, leaving me feeling vulnerable and exposed. Feeling the clean air on my skin always meant one thing, the thing I despised the most. I desperately wanted to get out, to push my back against the wall or run away, but they always caught me.
Not my back, please, anything but–
“ –by, baby, you’re okay. It’s over, you’re here with me. Take deep breaths with me, just like I taught you. In, then out. Yes, like that, good job! In, and then, out.” - Channie’s voice entered my ears, drowning out the screams I had heard in my head.
His scent was strong, the dirt and moss overpowering my senses as the picture of white walls and cold lights disintegrated, replaced by darkness as my face was still smushed into his hoodie. A hand was gently carding through my hair, his lips murmuring comforting nothings into my ears. I flicked them in response, my tail swishing once.
I was alright.
In a few short seconds we were out, Channie thanking the human, the latter only smiling and waving at us. I didn’t do much, I only remembered holding the wolf’s hand, following him out the door and towards the others, who smelled a bit worried seeing us.
“What happened?” - it was their human, Jisoo, who asked what was on all their minds. “What we feared was true… The doctor gave him a slight dose of something to help him relax, that’s why he’s a bit out of it now.” - Channie’s hand never left mine, his thumb only stroking gently over my knuckles.
Immediately the others surrounded me, worry oozing out of their every pore. It saddened me, how their scents were sour, the flowers trampled over and the easel knocked over. With every inhale I felt it, my heart cracking in response.
My body finally responded to my calls, letting out a low growl and a whine, letting them know it was okay. They responded within the same heartbeat, chirps and growls entering my ears. Their scents let up a bit, satisfied for now after hearing me.
And I was fine, until I remembered my back was still wide open, the thought itching me wrong.
Thus I walked in front of Jin and picked him up on my back, a surprised yelp leaving his lips in response. He latched onto me, confused, but letting me do my own thing. The others were similar, but they let it go with a small laugh.
I felt safer this way, something primal inside me satisfied for now.
“Alright, we’re here. Let’s take Ji home, even if only for a few weeks, shall we?” - Jisoo said, a smile as he looked at us before opening the door.
The scent of the ocean hit me, my eyes greeted with an excited little squirrel. He bounded over to us, the clothes on him a bit too big for his stature as they practically consumed him alive. His lips were in that heart-shaped smile, his hand waving excitedly as he went over to hug practically everyone. When he was coming towards me, Jin hopped off my back quickly, making me confused and a bit hurt.
“Woah, are you okay? Your pupils are wide open.” - the squirrel rambled out, his eyes wide as they stared into mine.
I blinked and looked away, nodding as I turned towards Jin, wanting an explanation. Instead I felt a weight hit my back, my arms quickly flying up to support the little herbivore that practically flew onto my back. The others panicked, ready to catch him in case I threw him off or anything, but…
I didn’t.
His presence was fine, surprisingly familiar. There was a connection between us, one that reminded me of Jin.
And as he leaned onto my shoulder, our cheeks touching, I finally realised why.
He had that extremely faint smell of clean and antiseptic, making me realise why his colours struck me weirdly. He was like me and Jin, well, like one of us, making my lips curve downwards.
I was hoping I was wrong. I was so, so hopeful…
And yet, here we were, walking through colourful hallways as I was carrying him on my back, silently listening to him and the others converse. They chatted as if it was normal, as if somehow this little squirrel had been the part of the pack all along. They immediately clicked, like puzzle pieces of the same picture.
“How can you guys not be on him all the time? He smells like hot cocoa you drink on a snowy winter day in front of a fireplace, all cosy and bundled up.” “That’s the thing, we are. You just need to use your puppy eyes on Bae and you’ve already won.” - Binnie answered the squirrel’s question, making me whip my head towards him.
They were talking about me AND outing me right under my nose??
“Hey, look, we’re right.” “No more snacks for you.” - I answered the pika, making him whine and fruitlessly beg me to change my mind.
Amidst all that, I smelled a human rushing towards us, its footsteps echoing down the hall. I let out a growl, my stance wide and ready in case of anything. The others immediately quieted down, standing next to or behind me, alert.
Just as it was about to touch Jisoo, I growled once more, the sound frightening the poor thing.
“Uh, s-sorry, but Jisoo-yah, I’ve been looking for you. I know you already have like six hybrids and you just took one in to foster, but I am BEGGING you, take this one puppy with you. He’s constantly causing trouble, pranking us and I’m losing my mind!”
Sorry, what now?
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next chapter
#uh...more fluff and angst for you guys? : )#well i mean#enjoy the fluff while you can#because once Jeongin joins#shit will go d o w n#stray kids#skz#stray kids oc#skz oc#male oc#stray kids 9th member#skz 9th member#unfamiliarity#glacial prince#lee felix#bang chan#seo changbin#lee know#lee minho#hwang hyunjin#han jisung#hybrid au#stray kids fanfiction#stray kids fanfic#skz fanfiction#skz fanfic
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