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typically-untypical · 3 months ago

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The Last Experiment

I wrote this for this years @tss-storytime! It is also a sequel to one of my most popular fics, The Logical Exception.

Read the whole story here on Ao3, but have a taste of the first chapter!

Also please check out this post for @starsinger 's art work!

CW: This first chapter does mention blood and injury

Chapter 1 - Aftermath - Isolation

Typically, Logan was a very literal person. Most of the time, exact language was a better way to express his thoughts. Sometimes, words weren’t enough. Literally, Logan could pull oxygen into his lungs. Literally, the world hadn’t changed it’s gravitational pull, yet he couldn’t breath, and the world was heavy.

Roman’s blood was on the pavement.

Small droplets outlined the path to their home, their safe place, yet Logan couldn’t seem to care. All that mattered was getting Roman to safety. He had been downed. He lay unconscious in Remus’ arms. It was Logan’s fault. His brother had stepped in the way. He had protected Logan and now his life was in danger. A hospital would have been closer, but they couldn’t risk it. They couldn’t risk what doctors would do with a powered person.

Instead, they had to risk Roman.

“Pat, I need you!” Remus shouted after kicking open the door. Logan hadn’t even been able to help, he wasn’t strong enough to carry Roman. His leg was still unstable. Remus had had to step in. He had held Roman the entire way, briefly using his powers to conjure something similar to a horse. Remus had gotten them all to safety. He had conjured two ‘horses’ and guilt flooded Logan knowing Remus had still been thinking about him even with Roman injured in his arms. He hadn’t trusted Logan to take care of himself, and Logan couldn’t blame him.

The house smelt of paprika. It should have comforted Logan, the smell of Patton’s cooking was the smell of home.

Instead, his eyes tracked Remus, watching as he placed Roman on the couch and Patton’s healing warmth lit up the room. Logan was thankful he had purchased a house where the front door walked into the living room. More than once Patton had had to help them after patrol. Typically it was minor bruising, or a few scrapes that healed in barely any time at all. This injury…. This time….

Logan swallowed, his throat tight as he continued trying to breathe. Color was returning to Roman’s face. His breathing evened out and he groaned in his unconsciousness. Relief flooded Logan’s senses. Roman would be fine.

Roman would have been fine if Logan wasn’t a failure. He couldn’t rest. This was his fault. If he rested for even a moment it might happen again. Turning from the living room, Logan walked to a door that connected to a second house. He had bought a duplex, able to get both houses to give the six of them more living space. He had expended the resources he had. He had spent all of the money he had saved trying to make sure the six of them would be safe and comfortable. He had at least outfitted the house with security. Logan had thought of everything, everything but his own ineptitude.

Once through to the other house, Logan turned right to a coat closet, slipping behind the long peacoats into a hidden door. He stripped off his visor, hands shaking, and plugged it into the charging base. He had to work harder. He had to fight to protect them. He knew it wasn’t going to be easy. He knew that.

His hands were shaking.

“Welcome back Sherlock, shall I start the post patrol protocol?” his computer called but Logan didn’t respond. He couldn’t open his mouth. The vision of Roman’s blood was burned into his brain.

Logan collapsed into the chair by his computer, he closed his eyes, feeling the tears streaming down his face. He wanted to go numb. He didn’t want to feel any of this. If he had to feel hollow from missing his powers, why couldn’t he feel hollow with this as well? For the past few months he and his brothers had been going on patrols, attempting to help those who needed help. His brothers had been against Logan joining in, telling him he needed to rest further, that his leg would keep him from being helpful, but he insisted. Logan had fought, and clamored, and worked to make himself useful to his brothers, to be what they needed and still he was the reason Roman got hurt.

Logan clawed into his leg, nails attempting to bite into reinforced clothes. They did nothing. He didn’t feel an inkling of pain. He should at least be able to carry some of Roman’s pain. He shouldn’t be fine while Roman was unconscious on a couch. Logan wanted to slam his head into the desk, to pay for what he had done to his brother, but he knew that wouldn’t help. Self destruction wasn’t how he fixed things. Instead, he could work. It was the one thing he was good at. He would work on his visor, he would work on his strategies, he could work on the serum.

Logan finally turned to his computer, “Irene, please start the post patrol protocol.” For a moment he hesitated before pulling up another file. This one didn’t have an automated command, and it was locked behind multiple layers of encryption. Logan hesitated as his finger hung over the enter button. He had saved his parents' research. He had recreated his own research. He wanted to make sure he could combat it if his parents ever came back, and in the darkest parts of his heart, Logan wondered. His parents’ experiments had never been ethical, and though experimenting on himself was far more ethical, it was also dangerous. Not everyone who had asked for powers had made it out alive. Logan shouldn’t rely on something so destructive to make him useful, but if there was a chance to feel less hollow…. He knew how to use his powers. He could be useful if he had control again. He knew how to help when he could feel the world around him.

Logan looked at the screen, at the number of scenarios he had run. Theoretically, because he had had powers before, the serum would be less deadly, but Logan had a sample size of one, and that had been a very different scenario. He could make a serum, but it would take doing a few illegal things. He had promised his brothers he would behave; he would abide by the ideals they wanted to see in the world. Logan shouldn’t risk everything he had built.

But Roman had gotten hurt.

“You slammed your way in here quite dramatically. I almost thought one of the twins had been kidnapped.” Logan jumped as he heard the voice behind him, immediately slamming the escape key on his keyboard. Everything shut down. It had been a dumb idea to begin with. Since the fight with his parents, Logan had done his best not to keep secrets from the others. He didn’t need to intentionally start something that would require lies and secrecy. He wasn’t going to use the serum.

“What do you want, Deceit?” It was hard to keep the frustrated edge out of his voice. If he wasn’t going to use the serum he had to think of something else, some other way he could prevent Roman, or any of them for that matter, from being hurt.

“It’s Janus, now, actually. I found a name that perfectly suits me. God of duality and beginnings.” Was this really the time for Janus to be expressing his name change? Roman had almost died, and Logan was spiraling. He knew that’s what was happening. He had to stop. He had to breathe. His chest puffed out as he filled his lungs with air.

“I’m happy for you, now what do you want Janus?” His voice was softer, and he slowly let the air out of his lungs. Closing his eyes, Logan counted. Virgil had taught him what to do when he spiraled, late at night when the world was quiet, his boyfriend would hold his hands and count. In the shadows Virgil was learning to be comfortable again, he would turn his focus to Logan. He would count slowly, quietly, and as Logan counted now he was able to calm his mind. Anxiety slipped away as guilt crawled its way back in. Logan had been lucky to be born with powers, but Virgil, Janus, Remy, everyone his parents had hurt had been forced to attain their powers through the worst possible means. How could Logan consider going down the same path the others had been forced to walk? How could he consider putting his life in danger like that?

“I came to check on you? After all, your brother was injured because of your idiocy. I’m sure that’s weighing on you pretty heavily.“ Janus traced along one of the training dummies at the side of the room before moving forward. He walked across the floor mat without taking his shoes off, disrespecting the space Logan had set up to let people train. Something in him tightened, each condescending foot step dropping him deeper inside of his own mind. He forgot to breathe again.

Janus turned his eyes to Logan, staring him down, and Logan had to look away.

“Is that why you ran in here? To hide from your responsibilities?”

He wasn’t hiding, he was finding a way to move forward. He was pushing himself so he wouldn’t fall apart. He was trying. Logan desperately wished he could be numb. He hated how the past few months with Patton and Virgil had started to break down the walls he had set up to protect himself. “If your sole purpose was to check on me, I am fine. However, your words suggest you came to taunt me instead. If that’s the case, please leave.” He was trying so hard. His computer was filled with strategies, planning, work outs, anything and everything he could get his hands on that might make him a better fighter, that might make him useful.

Janus didn’t seem to agree. He was staring at Logan, even without looking at him Logan could feel the burning his eyes left. Janus was judging him. He deserved to be judged.

“Pity doesn’t suit you, Logic.” He heard the other man turn, stopping his feet across the mat again as he walked away. Logan was certain if he had been looking at Janus’ face, the other man would be rolling his eyes. He was right, pity didn’t have a place here. Taking in a deep breath, Logan squared his shoulder, watching the screen. His hand hovered a moment before he clicked on information for the serum one more time. Who would it hurt if he tested this? Only himself.

“Irene, please initiate lockdown protocol.”

He heard the door lock and Logan turned his eyes to the ceiling. He wasn’t a religious person, but hopefully if there was a divine being in the world who judged people on their actions, that being would forgive him.

Pity didn’t suit him, but power would.

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oatmealdaydreams · 10 days ago

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the same shards of a mirror not meant to reflect us

Don't repost; reblogs are appreciated!

(ramble/lore below the cut)

I was thinking about how to illustrate the shards they share. I like to think that they may have broken in similar ways when the twins were created, embedding into their metaphysical being in such a way that no other could know about unless they found a way to rip their literal souls outta their bodies. Not sure if I'll keep the 'glowing in their respective colors' aspect, but damn was it fun to draw.

Someone in a reblog of my first post mentioned the possibility of the twins being able to talk to each other via telepathy, and I love this idea very much. The amount of shenanigans they'd get into. It's not officially a part of the au lore (for now, at least; may change it later), but it's very fun to mess around with. It could help highlight the twins' bond as brothers who are very intertwined, no matter if they're on great terms or not.

I have little bits of what I think the Others' creations were like. Logan, as Logic, is probably the closest to being kind of similar to the twins in the way that he's something so deeply embedded into the human brain. Virgil would probably tie with Logan in that regard as Fight or Flight & Anxiety. Then Patton & Janus would be the furthest from the twins because of them being things that aren't very instinctual to the human brain. Self-Preservation would be closer - in a similar way to Anxiety, I suppose. But Morality? The one closest to being the sense of Piety? Ehh, I'd say Patton would be the furthest in total. The twins are different in the way that they're stemmed from something breaking/leaving/dying in the deepest core of the Imagination. None of the Others' creations were like that (in this au).

Think of it like the twins are like a pair of Gems (SU style) and the others are more like humans with relatively applicable powers (like generic superpower-having humans). Their abilities are similar in being something only they can do, but the origin and base instinctual process of them are different. If that makes any sense at all.

Basically, the twins were created to do what they do already without a say-so, minus the manifestation of Remus being the conduit for Intrusive Thoughts because that developed when shit hit the fan as the concepts of Welcomed & Unwelcomed got more rigid. They are pieces of something that came before them and didn't form because they were there first. Something broke and they're the literal 'leftovers' of it. They got all their roles--mostly--when they formed, unlike the Others who grew into theirs.

The Others were formed with a base function that they've built upon since then, added on to, changed a little, etc.

The twins have 'fate' or 'destiny'; the Others have 'choose your own adventure'.

I hope at least some of this makes sense.

#mirrored souls au #sanders sides #sanders sides au #sanders sides fanart #oatmeal trash art #remus sanders #roman sanders #creativitwins #my au #my art #digital art #beginner artist

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tallochar · 1 year ago

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Inspired, in part, by this post by @mzminola but also something I've been ruminating on for a couple of years now.

Talking about pre New52 canon here mostly, though opinions about New52 or post Rebirth canon are also welcome to be added on, just specify it so we don't talk at cross purposes?

One of the thing that messes with me as an adult thinking back on comics is that you simply cannot put Alfred as the single member of staff who is dealing with all of the Manor.

I mean you can, comic logic, Alfred Is Not Of This World, whatever you want personally want.

Me personally, I cannot.

I need Harold to be down in the Batcave dealing with that part of the property until he dies in the 2000s at the very least, but also, consider how many hours there are in each day and how much Alfred has to do and how he's always serving dinner in time and laundry is done and everything is restocked and yet he also has the time to be personally chaffeuring the members of the family around and someone is also going to be having to deal with the household expenses and count balancing and -- and --

Like all of that PLUS keeping up with the superhero stuff PLUS cooking what sometimes are LAVISH spreads (WHICH TAKES TIME! PREP WORK TAKES TIME! COOKING TAKES TIME! ESPECIALLY IF YOU ARE ONE PERSON AND ALSO HAVE TO GO PICK THESE PEOPLE UP AND MAKE SURE THEY HAVE THEIR LAUNDRY DONE AND THE GARDEN IS NOT OVERGROWN AND THE HOUSE IS CLEAN AND -- AUGH)

I cannot just accept that Alfred is doing it all, on his own, with the occasional WE-affiliated-and-vetted company called in to deal with, say, catering for a big event or whatever.

Especially not if Bruce is young and Alfred's supposed to be raising him, like oh god no, which is why the idea @mzminola talked about in their post (Bruce raised by his relatives) has taken root in my brain and is now my own personal very much cherished headcanon and a source of plenty of excuses for Bruce but also varied and eclectic skills and connections.

But okay, let's say that Alfred got left in charge of just managing things for Bruce until Bruce is of age and can take over things himself (in theory, in practice Bruce definitely pushes all he doesn't want to deal with about the house on Alfred and all he doesn't want to deal with about the company on Lucius Fox and sets up a contingency to get Tim to deal with shit for Bruce if Bruce were to be unavailable / unsteady / acting sus), while Bruce is being passed around from relative to relative.

There's still the staff that the Manor had before the death of Thomas and Martha to deal with. Gotta downsize that but you cannot just boot everyone and close shop.

I mean, yeah you can, but also, some of those people were probably there for a long time and Alfred wasn't just going to throw them out.

The way things work out in my brain is if Alfred is the "face" of the staff and the only one who, usually, interacts directly with The Family, while the others are in the background minding their own business, asking no questions at all.

They probably lost some people in NML during the Manor collapse, and the staff had to go through the harrowing process of getting new people that they didn't know nor trust in and then do their own version of vetting and making sure there was nothing hinky about any of them and that they understood the importance of the privacy of their employers, etc. etc.

Some of them must have retired at some point or moved on and were let go with more than fair compensantion and retirement packages and some stuff actually got outsourced a bit as technology progressed and things changed.

Especially after NML, actually.

Alfred is not going to hire someone just to come by to do all of the laundry, but he might have a trustworthy laundry service that is Bristol-based and is used to dealing with Rich People without asking questions.

And I am not say that they have to be In The Know life Alfred and Harold.

Actually, I prefer the idea that they aren't and that they just have this cushy job and loyalty to the Waynes and are all well compensated for being quiet and dealing with stuff on their own.

Sure, Alfred deals with the supernatural side of things, absolutely, and I am sure he has state of art machinery for, say, dealing with the costumes after patrol, but the Manor is huge and the upkeed is time consuming and exhausting and Alfred is too busy to do everything on his own.

So basically what I am saying is:

I have a might need for Alfred and his skeleton crew of long-time, trusted employees who keep the Manor running and stay out of the way of the bosses and everyone lives better like that.

I need Alfred's list of Trusted People who can deal with the family's laundry without messing it up and come do repairs when they are needed Upstairs since Harold won't leave the cave.

Give me Bruce's different childrens' different relationship's with said skeleton crew and Bruce's own distant relationship with them too and their reactions to things.

Allow me to have the skeleton crew sticking around and keeping the Manor up and running whenever Alfred is off around the world with Bruce for recovery / training / support purposes or who are still there and keeping things going when Alfred is too busy feuding with Bruce to look after everything else.

#meta #dc meta #my worldbuilding #things that haunt me #alfred pennyworth #running a Manor is not a one person job #The Skeleton Crew

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v3nusxsky · 2 years ago

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Lunch date

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*A/n~ i was going to write NSFW with this prompt however the fluff works best here it is coming tho. A new story will be released soon ;) this is a bonus chapter I will still update later and for todays fun fact ironically this was written while I was eating cookies*

TW~ eating d!sorder

Prompt~ sleepy fluff just fluff fluff fluff please (I'm going to very loosely continue the one shot body image in this one. So if you read that one shot this one will make more sense, however it can be read alone)

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Since that night in your room, Larissa made every effort to ensure you were getting the correct amount of food. She was gentle but persistent on the subject which eventually broke down your walls. Any information you offered about your eating disorder was eagerly listened to and stored in her brain so she could find the best ways to help you. So when you revelled that you often skipped meals if you were alone due to the fear of eating more than everyone else, well the only logical solution was to have lunch together. These lunch dates were a routine that you grew to look forward too. On the good days, company was amazing and you felt good just sitting in silence, enjoying her company and eating. On the bad days you would sit and anxiously watch how many bites Larissa had compared to yours, picking at your own food and pushing it round the plate. Those days you'd struggle only to be met with comforting words and reassuring touches to your arms or knees. Never in your life had anyone put this much effort into ensuring you ate and were well. It was an odd feeling but not one that wasn't welcomed. Over time Larissa learned your safe foods, and the foods that you couldn't even look at without panicking. When Larissa started to make you both foods that you'd not longer ate out of fear or just foods you'd been too scared to try, you became aware of the part of her desk that had your safe foods safely tucked away in.

The impossibly loud bell rang out as you were mid way through a sentence, signalling lunch was here. Today was definitely a bad day for you, and as the students fled the room to go and have a well earned lunch you debated not going to Larissa. You'd had bad days before which she had dealt with beautifully as always. But this was different. You knew the principal was stressed with the recent events at Nevermore and the last thing you wanted was for your bad day to burden her. In an attempt to protect Larissa, you settled at your desk ready to work through the lunch break. Your lesson plans would provide an excellent distraction from the guilt that was gnarring at your stomach. You felt worse by not going. But it was for the best. Right?

Wrong. Oh how you were wrong. Larissa anxiously waited for you assuming you'd just ran over into lunch. You'd be there soon right? You'd never missed lunch with her since that night. The halls went quiet as the students settled in for lunch and still there was no you. Larissa couldn't explain the feeling but somehow she knew. Something was wrong. And that's what lead her to your classroom. Peering through the little glass window she was met with the sight of you hunched over your desk scribbling notes. With a small sigh she knocked on the door watching as you jumped straight of of the chair in shock. Making her way to you she could see that you were fighting and internal battle here.

"Y/n? Are you quite alright? I was worried when you didn't come to my office like normal dear." Her gaze was unwavering as she observed your reaction and behaviours. She was pretty good at depicting the bad days from the good based on your body language alone. Today was most definitely a bad day. You looked tired, shoulders slouching ever so slightly and your delicate arms wrapped around your middle as if you were holding yourself up. All things easily missed if she were anyone else but herself.

"I-I I'm sorry I just it's bad today and you have so much going on I don't want to make you deal with me I'm sorry I didn't want to worry you I just I can't add more to your already full schedule." You rushed out the panic evident in your tone as you dropped your head down in guilt. You only wanted to take something off her plate. After all she wasn't required to help you at all. The relationship you and Larissa had engaged in was growing more than a boss and employee and maybe even more than friends at this point. This terrified you. How could anyone want to be with you? Negative thoughts continued to swirl round your head in a never ending cycle causing you to miss the reply to your rushed statement.

"Are you still with me little one?" She hummed out eyes softening as she could see you were heading well on your way to a panic and anxiety attack all in one."y/n? Can I touch you please? I'd very much like to take this to my office. It's a lot more private there dear."

You found yourself nodding watching as she took your hand in hers and held it tightly. She motioned to the door as an incentive for you to come with her, however your body was stiff. Her office meant food. You knew that. You really didn't need lunch. She really didn't need to concern herself with this. It was the arm coming round your shoulders guiding you to the door that broke your thoughts. Soon enough you were sat in the office seeing the usual set up of your lunch dates. Panic and guilt made themselves present again. Larissa had gone through a lot of effort and you didn't even show. Tears silently trailed over your cheeks. Why couldn't you just be normal?

Soft pads of the older women's thumbs brushed the tears from your cheeks and she spoke in the sweetest voice it may as well have been angel Gabriel speaking. "Little one, it's okay. I'm not mad. Try to ignore the food for the minute and focus on my voice okay? I'm here. I'm not mad. And I'm not leaving you okay? "

This invoked a small nod as you tried to do just that. Focusing your gaze onto her beautiful sky blue eyes. You could get lost in those easily. The lighter shades mixing with the slightly darker shades swirling together creating its own unique shade that was hers and hers only. They say eyes are the windows to the soul and now sat here like this you could confirm it's accuracy. The women sat in front of you was pure of heart and soul and you could see that in her gentle gaze. Without realising you seemed to have calmed yourself right back down before the attack could reach its full height. The gentle strokes of her thumbs on your cheeks had helped greatly.

"That's it good girl. It's going to be okay. Now do you think you'd like to try what I prepared today?" She questioned you the tone of her voice letting you know you could say no. It was completely up to you. The small nod she received caused her to smile and lead you to where the food was set up. "Little one how many? 3?"

You paused assessing the situation of the food in front of you. They were quite small and looked inviting. How many calories- no no no you wouldn't do this. You were going to be okay. Larissa is here and wouldn't give you more than you needed. You're safe. The next sentence you mumbled shocked yourself and the older women briefly.

"I uh um can I have four?" You whimpered quietly. What had you just done? Oh god. The panic began to rise but being vanquished when you saw the beautiful eyes light up and respond "you can have five little one"

"I only want four" you replied with your voice shaking

"Okay" her voice would solve world wars one day you swear it.

"Okay" you whimpered back watching as she plated your plate before doing the exact same for herself. Knowing this was a big step for you. Especially on a bad day. She was so proud of you, you could practically feel it radiating round the room.

You struggled carefully watching Larissa in a comfortable silence. Her smile was magnificent as she saw the empty plate. Immediately coming round to you and gathering you in her arms.

"Oh my darling girl, you did it. You did amazingly. I know that was hard for you but I'm so proud of you. Such a good girl for me hmm?"she whispered into your hair before absentmindedly placing a kiss to the crown of your head. The bell rang in the distance and it was then that you were glad for planning periods.

You stayed in her embrace just soaking in the comfort she was offering up. "I'm sorry for not coming myself Rissa. I just don't want to burden you're already so busy and everything is so hectic I just didn't want to be extra work..." you trailed off the emotion was thick in your voice letting on just how badly you believed you were a burden.

"Darling, you're never a burden. When you love someone it's never extra work. You did amazingly today little one I'm so proud of you. Remember you never have to face the bad days alone I'll always be here with you."

"I-uh- you love? Me?" You stuttered out not quite sure you heard her right.

"I do yes. You're absolutely beautiful inside and out what's not to love?" Her admission causing tears to fall freely once more. "Oh little one don't cry it's okay you're okay come here." Her arms opened and on instinct you threw your tiny body into her strong arms. You choked back your tears as you whispered "I love you too Rissa" into her neck.

Maybe you we're flawed. You knew this would never go away. But maybe just maybe you could deal with it. As long as you had her.

Word count~ 1754

*A/n~ I never originally planned a sequel but I love how this one could flow from Body image. I hope you're all okay and remember my messages are always open to any of you struggling. Remember to look after yourselves dear readers. *sips water and continues to write more for you all*

#anon answered #v3nusxsky answers #fanfic #principal larissa weems #larissa x reader #larissa weems #larissa x you #principal larissa weems x reader #larissa weems x reader #weems x reader #principal weems #anon requested

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haunted-vespera · 11 days ago

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Ok it's time everyone.... MY CHEM THEORY POST AWAWA

WARNING ⚠️: spoilers(?), the topics of the black parade, danger days and the new stuff, some info may be wrong but idgaf, also topics of dictatorship, revolution,kinda hunger games esque type stuff.

You have been warned.

DANGER DAYS AND BLACK PARADE ARE A CONNECTED STORYLINE!!!!

okay so, I noticed that in black parade it's a very sullen ,post apocalyptic, downfall of society type videos but, when you put together the teasers we have now that are very dictatorship-y and government propaganda type style, possibly even representing the seven deadly sins.

Following that logic, it would put things backwards, so basically: new teaser stuff, danger days,black parade.

So I think the direct storyline is that : in a large city of many people, multiple dictator rulers run the country, keeping a sterile, white and emotionally blank environment to keep the people brainwashed into believing that they are the best people ever.

BUT! eventually, the rulers start to fight, dissatisfaction and disorganization take over, inequality and aggression begin to take hold and the government is slowly collapsing. THEN the people revolt, rioting and killing and fighting for survival, very dystopia type thing. Soon, the city is rubble and vandalized, people fighting in the streets and the dunes outside of the city as more people expand to making their own territories for residence. Soon 'BETTERLIFE inc.' blooms in the societal collapse, taking over food production, weaponry, residence, etc, and people are basically forced to use their products as they have no other options.

Now they have a bunch of sterile looking people in masks running around, attempting to control or profit from the chaos, leading to the killjoys.

The process starts over again, the killjoys expose secrets in the 'BETTERLIFE inc.' company, possibly revealing that a previous dictator was running it after surviving injury from the collapse. The dictator begins to order the company to find and end the killjoys, because if they didn't, the dictator would lose all of his power.

So the killjoys attack, effectively resulting in an extreme collapse or power, to a whole hunger games esque situation, more fighting for survival, safety,food,water ect.

Eventually leading into 'welcome to the black parade' where the parade guides the dead to the afterlife. The patient we see is the last survivor of the doomsday event (as I will call it), finally dying due to an illness resulting from the collapse. Possibly ending the storyline (😉😉) as we know it.

Now this is a complete theory based on personal opinion, creative thinking and magical clowning, so I could probably be extremely wrong, or get it completely right. Do I know? not as far as I'm aware, but I'm really excited to see how this plays out and see what is going on in the brain of Michael romance.

So, in the end, it's all just a theory.

A MY CHEM THEORY 🤸

(yes that's a game theory reference)

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xiaonesis · 2 years ago

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Soft Serve 13 // Flavor 1

Flavor 1: Rainbow Sherbet (Suna x Reader)

Tags: Romance, Fluff, Awkward Romance, Summer Romance, Growing & Learning, Miscommunication

A/N: I started writing this more than half a year ago and decided to pick it back up and finish it but I forgot where I was going with it. I initially wanted to write something more light and introspective, on the pains of growing up and the awkwardness and inability to communicate many of us have, as this fic is partly based off real life experiences, and thus it is a slightly personal fic to me as I reflected on my own past, experiences, and regrets, and hopefully, growth. Then, I had a breakdown and lost the plot lmao. Anyways, have this melting cone of chaos and idk's.

(This fic is cross-posted to my AO3)

Suna Rintarou doesn’t believe in love at first sight.

He thinks that people who fall head over heels for someone at first glance are fools. Love is something that is grown into, to be slowly nurtured with time and dedication. To his logic-based brain, the entire idea of smashing head first into love at a glance is ludicrous, like a bad car crash where you never see it coming until it's too late. And that doesn’t sound very pleasant, does it?

But you know what else they say about love at first sight?

That everyone becomes a believer when it happens to them.

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Suna first meets you in his hometown of Aichi in the summer of his fifteenth year.

He is there for summer break, helping out at his uncle’s ice-cream shop a stone’s throw away from the nearest beach. He didn’t want to be but his parents had insisted, claiming that it would be good for him to spend time with his grandmother and uncle.

Had he been given the choice, he would be spending his break lazing at home playing video games instead of being dressed in this ridiculous pink and yellow striped ice-cream boy cap and uniform, scooping out cones of ‘Soft Serves With A Smile.’ He’d rather be slamming hard serves into the twins that made it onto the same volleyball team as him.

AC doesn’t even exist in the shop as a silver lining. There are only three fans on maximum power, twisting and churning air as they swivel. With the unbearable heat amplifying his discomfort, days at his seaside hometown pass slowly, thick and syrupy from dawn to dusk.

It doesn’t feel like summer at all.

That all changed the day the shop bell chimed and you walked in.

“Welcome to Soft Serve 13–”

People often say that love at first sight is similar to a lightning strike, fast and purple hot. But there was no purple summer lightning electrifying him, no volcanic eruption setting his heart on fire for Suna.

There is only a great void, white and silent, that descended upon his mind unforeseen; a tsunami that crashes down his frozen body, washing away all sensible thought and bodily functions before leaving him stranded on unknown, pristine shores.

For the next twenty seconds that stretches like a lifetime as he is caught in his first glance of you, Suna is suspended in that void. White sand in his ears, and his eyes sees nothing and everything simultaneously in an ivory world.

(It feels exactly like the moments before a car crash where life flashes by in a white blind)

Suddenly, his hand is freezing hot and Suna is dragged from that sandy void.

“Shit–”

Dulcet chocolate covers his hand, trickling from the melted cone he was supposed to hand to the perturbed, waiting customer in front of him. Uttering a quick string of apologies, Suna sets about serving a fresh cone whilst enduring your barrage of giggles as you wait next in line, his face hotter than summer itself.

The door chimes again, and he is left alone with you in this tiny, humid shop with fans blowing revoltingly loud and you’re still grinning teasingly – blinding – at him. He pulls his stupid pink and yellow cap down over his eyes.

“If mine melts, can I get a free scoop?”

‘No,’ his mind says but his mouth fires off a “Yes.”

He didn’t think it was possible for your smile to grow any wider. Windchimes jingle in the timbre of your pleased laughter, not expecting his answer. “Guess I’ll have to make sure to distract you long enough for it to melt,” you chirp, browsing the display with an impish smirk.

Suna knows right away he wouldn’t mind getting ice-cream all over his hand again if it means you’ll stick around longer.

By the Gods , was he always this much of a chump?

He’s not a casanova (that’s Atsumu’s shtick), but Suna never gets nervous around the opposite sex, and he likes to think he can pull in girls if he wants to. However, between school, games, and volleyball, there was no space for romance in his life yet Suna finds himself pulling and fanning at his collar as he tries to maintain eye contact with you. He’s strangely nervous and it shows in the way he continuously drums his fingers on glass.

Suna never talks to customers beyond what is necessary but he continuously finds ways and topics to keep you around. Usually, he works fast to have all his customers served so that he may return to his phone. Yet, thirty minutes has passed since you entered the store and you’re still standing without a cone in your hand and he’s leaning across the glass, handing you your thirteenth free taste.

In that period, he’s found out that you’re visiting the area with your mother for two weeks, that you’re his age, and attend school in Tokyo. And he’s shared that he’s originally from Aichi but goes to school in Hyogo, is working here for the summer, and this is his uncle’s shop. Favorite music, recommended sights and places, food, hobbies, and a slew of other random tidbits about each other were also mutually exchanged in between.

(He wonders if he can entice you to stay with the other flavors available.)

Another ten minutes later and you finally settle on a flavor, but Suna knows by that curl in your lips that’s been there since twenty-five minutes ago that you already knew what you wanted the moment you stepped foot into the shop.

“I’ll have Rainbow Sherbet.”

He makes a face. “I’m judging you.”

“It’s a good flavor!”

“It’s sour–”

“And sweet.”

“–and leaves this tart, prickly taste in your mouth. It’s terrible.”

“No it isn’t! Here, try some!” You bring a small spoonful to him.

“No–” he swats your hand, “I know what Rainbow Sherbet tastes like. I work here.”

You press against the glass– he’s going to have to clean it of your grubby hand prints later – but he doesn’t mind it one bit when he sees you straining over the display in an attempt to reach him. Honestly, if his uncle saw him now, he’d get an earful for ‘messing and flirting’ with a customer but Suna is unable to stop himself from gravitating towards your hand and the spoon pinched precariously between your fingers.

“Just try it!” you insist.

Suna frowns at your persistence, adjusting his cap with one hand as if he’s about to tell you off. But he tips it up instead, so that he has a clear view of you when he grabs your wrist and leans in to close his mouth around your spoon. His cheeks hollow and Suna sucks the sweet ice with an obnoxious slurp that has him smirking around the spoon and you, gaping.

Zesty lime and sour raspberry goes off like fireworks on the roof of his mouth before melting with a trail of fragrant pineapple on his tongue.

Your eyes widen, clearly not expecting him to do that, thinking that he would at least take the spoon from you first.

To be honest, Suna didn’t expect himself to do that either, especially not with the rapid pace of his heart. It’s worth it though, to see the obvious flush racing up your neck to fill your cheeks. It matches what is on his but he tells himself it’s the heat.

He releases the spoon with a pop but keeps his grip on your wrist. He can’t stop grinning but forces an impudent gag through the stretch of his cheeks.

“Yuck.”

He lets you go, fingers sliding soft on the back of your hand.

The spoon is brandished at him. “You liked it. Don’t lie. I also demand a free scoop.”

“But it didn’t melt?”

You stick your hand out and sure enough, there’s a trail of sticky green and orange running down your arm.

“You took too long,” you murmur, avoiding his eyes. “Could have just eaten it normally.”

Another smug smirk. “Where’s the fun in that?”

The fans are deafening but its winds are cool on his hotter-than-ever skin and lovely in the billow of your dress. The bell chimes and a gaggle of children rush into the store alongside a woman that taps your shoulder with a call of your name. He guesses that’s your mother, wondering where her daughter’s been for almost an hour.

He realizes then that neither of you introduced yourselves.

Your mother leaves and your eyes flicker to the tag pinned to a strip of pink right above his heart. “I will collect my free scoop tomorrow, Suna Rintarou.”

The promise of your return lingers in this tiny, breezy shop, and tomorrow can’t come fast enough.

It finally feels like Summer.

(And he’s on his way to a car crash)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Why here? There’s not much to do in Aichi in general, needless to say here.”

You shrug. “We just wanted some place a bit more slow, more relaxing, you know? My mum’s tired of the city and I don’t really mind. She’s paying for everything anyway.”

“Where would you choose to travel though?” He steals a spoonful of colorful ice-cream from your cup and you let him.

“Hmm, I don’t know for sure,” you muse. “Probably somewhere outside of Japan. I’ve always wanted to go abroad. What about you, if you’re not working here?”

He shrugs. “Nah, too much effort.”

“Can’t believe you got scouted for volleyball with that lazy-ass attitude.” You fling your crumpled tissue at him.

Suna catches it and shoots it straight into the bin without moving from his seat. “Work smarter not harder.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two weeks whirl by quicker than a sunshower.

Suna spends it chatting with you during your frequent visits (your hotel isn’t too far) to the store, hanging with you at the beach (the one a stone’s throw away), and texting with you till late night in the comfort of his bed.

Your mother definitely gave him a few looks during the times she came to the store with you. Her flavor of choice is caramel coffee and yours, rainbow sherbet.

He gave her a free scoop once, and now she praises him, “You’re such a good kid,” every time before leaving. You’ll roll your eyes and he’ll give you a peace sign.

He stays in touch with you for the rest of summer break after you leave.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When school restarts, the two of you are still in contact. You don’t use social media, but you’ll send him photos of your life in Tokyo and he’ll send you links to his posts and stories.

September wind blows and this gradually peters out in autumn as the Inarizaki High Volleyball Club shifts into full gear for Nationals in winter.

[Good luck preparing for Nationals! Maybe we can catch up in Tokyo when you’re here!]

He’s so tired from practice, he tells himself he will reply tomorrow. But Suna forgets, and he does reply, only two weeks later. Yours come in another week. Then his, the week after.

Eventually, rainbow sherbets and the girl he met over summer fades to the back of Suna’s mind, just as the last leaves of autumn sheds.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It momentarily crosses his mind to contact you again, two nights before Nationals.

In the rush of prepping for the games and packing for the trip to Tokyo, it slips his mind until he’s standing outside the stadium gates. But they lose to Karasuno, and the message is never sent as he is once again packing to leave.

He suddenly feels like eating rainbow sherbets, but it’s too cold for ice-cream.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next time Suna sees you, it is once again in Aichi, in the summer of his sixteenth year.

He didn’t plan on coming back here, but after their loss at Nationals and the rigorous training in the following months, Suna decided he needs a break away from Hyogo and the goons he calls his teammates.

He definitely did not expect to see you again.

The sight of you, fingers waving timidly from the sunlit entrance accompanied by bell-chimes, melts the cone in his hand. A fuzzy, sticky repeat of last year.

He’s in that void again, where everything else seems to vanish and there’s hot sand in his ears, between his toes, warm wind in his stomach running up his throat– déjà vu has never felt more full yet it’s different. It’s the same blank space, only less… empty. Less white. There’s color to the sand this year, and he can hear rustling in trees that weren’t there before, only it’s not the wind but fans.

“What’re you doing here?”

“I had fun here last year so,” you shrug, small and shy, head tucked into yourself. “I asked my mum if we could visit again.” A finger twirls a lock of hair.

Suna’s heart leaps as his mind races, jumping and wondering if it was fun because of him because he remembers how you brought Summer into his August. Even if he hasn’t tasted rainbow sherbets since he last saw you, and cannot remember what you talked about under the cover of night and cotton sheets.

In a close replay of last year, Suna feels rejuvenated with your presence in this tiny, warm shop. The fans are a godsend.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He wonders if he should apologize for not responding about Tokyo and his haphazard responses until that point. It’s probably weird to do that now.

You don’t mention it either so he figures it doesn’t matter.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I wondered if you would be here, but didn’t think that you actually would,” you say, licking at your rainbow sherbet. Typical.

“Me? I’m more surprised you’re here again. There’s nothing to do here.”

“That’s not true. My mum liked it. She likes that it’s close to the ocean but she can still hop on a train and go shopping.”

Suna side-eyes you with doubt but finds you facing him with a grin. His body naturally turns towards you.

“Besides, you’re here too!” you giggle, meaning nothing more than a joke easily said between friends. His chest thrums all the same and white shores seep into his vision.

Suna flicks your forehead in response.

“Hey–”

“Gimmie a bite.”

“I thought you hated rainbow sherbet!” you protest, but bring your cone up anyways.

“Maybe I’ve changed my mind.”

He grabs your wrist as if to steady the cone and prevent any attempt to smash the entire thing into his face. The way he looks at you, steady and unwavering, from underneath the hood of his uniform cap is telling you something else.

Cracks dance up the cone from where your fingers press tightly into the biscuit, raining crumbs onto the space between your bodies. Suna pulls back and you take a large bite opposite of where he sunk his teeth into yellow.

“Yep, it still sucks.”

His face scrunches and you punch his arm. At least he didn’t gag this time.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Suna keeps in touch with you regularly through the year, until the following summer.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

On his seventeenth summer, Suna plans to go back to Aichi again. This time, he knows you will be there because the two of you planned it.

Now that you’re older, your mum is allowing you to travel on your own; she also trusts the ‘good kid’ to take care of her daughter, to your chagrin.

The Miya twins are constantly bothering Suna this year, wondering why he keeps going back to Aichi when all he’s done is complain about how boring it was in previous years– which it is, besides you. They’ve heard about you before though, the girl he met in the summer of two years ago.

“Ya’ know, she must really like ya’ if she’s goin’ all the way there again to visit ya,’” Atsumu comments, chomping on yakisoba bread. Osamu makes a garbled sound of agreement through his food.

“We’re just friends,” Suna says, face straight, but he wonders if you know how the world vanishes into nothing when he’s with you. He feels anxious merely thinking about it.

“Sure, friends,” Atsumu waggles his brows and Osamu nods.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This year, his uncle invites you to join them for dinner at his grandmother’s home.

He’s spotted you a few times over the years, and gives Suna much grief about the girl his nephew's constantly loitering around with outside of work, and during work. He often says with a wink, “I’m paying you to work, not to flirt!”

Suna never says anything in response, only squints his eyes and shakes his head at the older man that acts younger than Suna himself; he knows he does the work expected of him even if he may slack here and there.

Dinner with his uncle, grandmother, and a cousin that decided to join them last minute is a simple yet loud affair.

Suna’s uncle is rowdy with a positive outlook on all things in life; says he chose to open an ice-cream shop because ice-cream makes everybody smile. His grandmother is along in years, silver crowning her demure frame and lovely smile. She absolutely adores you.

“I’ve never seen Rinrin bring a friend, much less a friend, around. You are his girlfriend, yes?”

Suna’s never had miso up his nostrils before but there we go. A first time for everything.

“Grandma–” he groans but says nothing more; doesn’t attempt to deny it, only glance at you snickering next to him. He notes with a little shake of his leg that you didn’t either.

(He’s overthinking, he’s assuming, he definitely is–)

It’s late when you finally leave, and Suna volunteers to walk you back to your lodge before his uncle can offer to drive you. He can feel their grins burning into his back as he puts on his shoes after you, and throws them an exasperated glare before the door closes.

“Your family is really nice.”

He rubs the space between his brows. “I’m glad they live here and not in Hyogo. They’re too much.”

“What are your parents like?”

“Like that . My mum had to get it from somewhere. My father’s quieter.”

You laugh and conversation flows easy as it always does when he’s with you. He doesn’t have to think about anything in particular; colors naturally flow to color the void without his intention. It’s all peaceful, the world vanishing and leaving a blank canvas that’s meant for you to cover with pale cream footprints, and greens, pinks, and oranges.

Night zephyrs slap a leaf onto your face and you throw it at Suna. A splotch of green spreads on the canvas.

You’ve long since walked by your lodge and Suna follows without question, trailing gravel crunching beneath your shoes and the ocean breeze in your hair. The stars are out in full force tonight but the brightest star is next to him, voice shimmering with August life.

His Summer.

The ocean, pulsating in deep indigo, stretches beyond concrete barriers erected on the road side.

Suna watches when you ignore the barrier’s sole purpose and climb onto it, inviting him to join you with the beckoning of your hand and a pat to the empty space next to you; a space he gladly fills.

“You don’t see stars like this in Tokyo,” you whisper, afraid of shattering the quiet seaside.

Suna takes his phone out, wiping at the black of his screen. You tilt your head, asking doubtfully if he can even snap a photo of the stars with that, but it changes to pleasant surprise when he flips the camera and shifts closer to you.

The dim light from a nearby lamp is barely enough to illuminate your features but if he squints and zooms in, barely – just barely –, you can make out the ridge of his nose below glinting chartreuse through prismatic noise. And Suna can somewhat trace your teeth glowing baby blue and the push of your cheeks.

“It’s so shit,” you guffaw, snatching his phone to zoom around your unrecognizable faces.

“It’s natural lighting. None of those disgusting filters you kids like to use.”

“We’re literally the same age!”

His phone is returned, and Suna’s fingers tap on the back of his case as he deliberates, jittery under the universe and you, wholly unaware of his nerves.

In another 3 hours, the sun will rise and when you finally stand, he finds the courage to blurt the words that have been spooling in his head since midnight.

(He wishes for a longer Summer with you)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

All the nervousness that hounded Suna when he invited you to the local fireworks festival a few nights ago? It’s all gone the moment he sees you in your yukata, the folding fan his grandmother lent you slipped neatly into your obi.

Never mind that you packed one for your trip. “Swimsuits are not the only essentials for a summer vacay~”

So you say. Suna isn’t complaining.

Festivals have never been his thing; it’s hot, humid, crowded– moist . Yet, he looked forward to this one with you. He’s never been to this festival until now, walking next to you with a cooler in his hand.

“What’s in there?” you peek curiously at the box, reaching for the clasp.

Suna lifts the box up high where your grubby hands are unable to grab them.

“Later.”

You pout; long fingers poke your cheeks but later comes sooner than you expected. Sitting on a green picnic sheet that has seen better days, Suna opens the box. A pint of rainbow sherbet beams from a bed of ice, to your great pleasure.

“I thought you hated rainbow sherbet!” you exclaim, heartily accepting the spoon he hands you.

Suna shrugs, struggling to keep his expression even at your simple joy. “It’s alright,” he says coolly, popping the lid off and letting you take the first scoop.

A triple-colored wave curls against your spoon just as the first boom goes off, splashing starlit skies with fiery flowers of red, green, and gold.

The plain skies above white shores he shares with you, too, are filled with bursts of rainbows.

(Perhaps it isn’t purple lightning. Instead, it is a pint of ice-cream between your bodies. Love at first sight is a trifecta of colors, exploding)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Do you believe in love at first sight?”

Your jaw drops, not expecting that question from Suna Rintarou. Nonetheless, you pause, and Suna can see the gears churning in your head. He doesn’t know why, but he appreciates that; a certain pair of twins wouldn’t have given him the same courtesy.

When you finally answer, Suna leans in. “It’s hard to say for sure but I probably do.”

“Probably?”

“I mean, I don’t know if it is love at first sight, but maybe more like wanting to know a person more. Way more than other people, right away.”

Your answer, though not bad, makes Suna a tad nervous.

“It’s like discovering a new place, you know?” You nod to the world outside the shop window, sweltering in the unforgiving sun. “I didn’t think I would love this place the first time I came here. Now I’m here for the third year in a row!”

“With this shop or my hometown?” Suna wears a teasing smirk but it feels like he’s about to have a heart attack.

You smile furtively and Suna never gets an answer. “Wouldn’t you like to know?”

He very much does.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

On your last night in Aichi before you take Summer away with you, Suna unlocks the door to his uncle’s ice-cream shop. He has received express permission to “help yourselves” to a buffet of ice-cream as your farewell gift (until next year).

He’s never eaten so much ice-cream in one sitting before in his life, and likely, neither have you judging by the way you’re massaging your stomach. His own hurts, and the sugar running in his blood makes him want to grab your hand and run out onto the beach.

You groan, poking at the remains of your rainbow sherbet. “Rin~ help me finish this!”

His tongue juts out. “Ew, rainbow sherbet. No thanks.”

“Please! I’m struggling,” you bemoan, listlessly swallowing another spoonful.

Torn between sighing and chuckling at your torment, Suna moves his chair next to yours. His acquiescence revitalizes you, and you immediately bring your spoon up to feed him in a familiar repeat of the first time you met him.

And just like the first time, Suna wraps his hand around your wrist, pulling the spoon– you– closer as he leans in. His palms burn like the mid-August sky over your midsummer skin.

His lips part.

Lime and raspberry. The sour taste makes him squint.

His expression makes you grin, causing the little stripe of green lime on the corner of your mouth to stretch.

It’s that damn stripe’s fault.

It compelled Suna, pulling him beyond the spoon falling loose in your hand to touch his lips on that stripe of green.

A soft taste of lime. Sour. It makes him squeeze his eyes shut, or so he tells himself.

It’s not the hard beating of his heart, the panic that lances him when he realizes what he has done, the fear of seeing your reaction and feeling your mouth tremble against his.

Surprise and nerves, he likes to think, and tells himself.

Suna keeps his eyes squeezed closed, the layer of sweat between where his hand meets your skin palpable as the damning taste of lime on both your lips.

Hours seemed to come and went in the seconds he allowed his hormones and stupid, summery feelings get the better of him and you only sat there, still and silent. Suna still has his eyes sewed shut, and can’t see your expression. He can’t see jack shit and the only thing telling him that you’re still there is the unbroken touch of your lips against his and your shaky, warm breaths.

It was only seconds but it felt like an eternity to Suna, before you finally moved and saved him from his spiraling mind and the awkwardness that was creeping upon him.

It’s tentative, unsure, and Suna wasn’t sure if he imagined it at first but there’s no mistaking the light press back and gods, Suna would have heaved in relief if he wasn’t still connected to you by the mouth, featherlight it may be.

At seventeen, you and Suna shared your first kisses with each other. It was awkward, weird, sticky and tasted like lime. Short. But sweet.

Perhaps rainbow sherbet isn’t as bad as he thought.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He’s not sure why but in the weeks, then months, following that kiss– unaddressed, unspoken of henceforth– the two of you don’t speak as much anymore. The messages petered out like the end of a summer shower, muggy and uncomfortable, and clings to him long after summer and rain have gone.

The last exchange had been amiable.

‘Good night.’

Yet, it was excruciatingly hard picking it up again as the days slipped by.

The last of autumn’s leaves fall and Suna wonders if it would be strange suddenly messaging you out of the blue. He stares long at the ‘seen’ and timestamp from hotter days.

Gods, he’s seventeen and thinks it’d definitely be lame to do so. Besides, if you wanted to talk to him, you could always message him first too.

And you haven’t.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You too, stare at the ‘seen’ and timestamp recollecting balmy days. With cheeks pressed deep into your arms and blankets wrapped tight all around against the encroaching winter, wondering what it’d feel like if it were the arms of a certain ice-cream shop boy instead.

But you’re seventeen and the future is scary and uncertain.

The letter confirming your acceptance to your chosen study abroad program peeks tauntingly at you from underneath stacks of books.

You were happy– still are– when you received the news back in July. You had planned to share that joy with Suna when you met him in Aichi in the summer. Yet, something held you back, kept the words from being spilled even as ice-cream melted and foolish secrets were shared under starry skies and blanket of waves.

You were resolved to tell him and had been prepared to do so on your last night in Aichi–

Then he kissed you. And you kissed back, with surprise and an elated heart.

And you didn’t say anything after that.

Stupid.

It’s all so silly. This crushing in your chest– you want to stay, to visit Aichi and see Suna again. You want to go, pursue your dreams and studies abroad as you have always planned before him and his damn pink-yellow cap ever appeared in your life.

You want more summer days with Suna, and autumn, winter, and spring! You want all the seasons with him, to explore this undeniable attraction but–

‘Good night.’

It’s been weeks since either of you said anything. They always say that if a guy truly likes you, he would reach out no matter what.

And he hasn’t.

You’re going abroad. You already know that, deep in your mind, despite what your young heart longs for.

You’re seventeen and decided that it would be illogical to pursue anything with the ice-cream boy, with the most brilliant, unforgettable set of eyes you met over summers.

And just like that, it was as if neither of you were ever in each other’s lives.

Like fireworks, the two of you splashed and burned brief, shared months and dispersed in wisps of smoke to the world.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

On his eighteenth summer, Suna returns to Aichi again to work at his uncle’s shop.

He has since moved to Tokyo to pursue his own ambitions, but something he wishes to not name pulls him back to his uncle’s shop, like it had every year, for the past three years.

His eyes constantly dart to look at every shadow that passes by the windows, and his head zooms up with every ding of the bell. The days pass slowly, more excruciating than usual, thick and syrupy from dawn to dusk.

You never showed up.

(It doesn’t feel like summer at all)

The bell chimes for what would be the final time for Suna. As the last customer of the summer and the rest of his life ponders what flavor they will have, Suna impetuously stabs the tasting spoon he had been holding into the swirly tub of green, orange, and pink– and takes a bite.

Yuck. Rainbow sherbet isn’t as good as he thought.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You are eighteen and abroad, young and excited.

Yet everytime you come across an ice-cream shop, hear waves and feel the sand between your toes, see the occasional, miraculous starry sky–

From halfway across the world, you are reminded of brilliant yellow eyes and a boy in pink and yellow stripes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

On your nineteenth summer, you return to Aichi.

With a thudding heart and hopes and young daydreams of what could be.

Will it be awkward? What shall you say first? Something witty or nostalgic? What will he say when he sees you? Will he be happy to see you?

The bell chimed and none of those mattered when it wasn’t Suna at the counter but his uncle instead.

“Didn’t he tell you? He isn’t returning to Aichi this year.”

“Oh.” Your throat is closing up. “I wanted to surprise him so I didn’t ask him in case it tipped him off–” You rub your neck to alleviate the embarrassment burning hot there and blink multiple times, forcing away the rising pressure in your eyes.

“You silly kids!” Suna’s uncle laughs. “He was here last year but you weren’t! And now you are! Wait till I tell him–”

“Please don’t tell him! He might feel bad if you did, and it was entirely my fault for not checking with him.” In truth, you called but the line didn’t go through. His number has changed.

“You sure? Knowing Rintarou he’d just scratch his bum about it–”

You giggle despite your falling heart. “I’m sure. Perhaps next year.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You return to Aichi again on your twentieth summer. And your twenty-first.

Unlike previously, it was less for the specific purpose of seeing him and more to visit a place, and its inhabitants, that has grown close to you.

But the hope that he would be there never truly died, and each time you entered the ice-cream shop with a full heart close to combusting, that does, inadvertently burst.

For Suna never visited Aichi again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It’s been four years since Suna last visited his hometown. He is now twenty-two.

In his defense, he presently plays for EJP Raijins and has been incredibly busy with his career; the last few years have been tough: training, press, tournaments, and everything else that comes with becoming an upcoming pro athlete.

His family understands that. Still, it has been a while since he saw his grandmother and uncle; his parents visit him in Tokyo every year. So he’s invited them all to his game this year, fully paid for by him.

Only, in place of his grandmother, he saw you instead when he went to greet them in the hall before the game. There you were, shuffling nervously next to his uncle, looking as if you haven’t changed at all in the last four years, even if you have grown up. The both of you have.

Suna felt it again, the same feeling he had when he saw you all those years ago. It’s faint, dimmer than when it first manifested in his fifteen year old self; a white void, great and silent, cascading onto him. But it’s the same one, he’s sure of it. Because he’s never felt it with anyone else he’s met, and he’s met a lot of people in recent years.

Suna doesn’t know why; it’s illogical, but he supposes that everything concerning this feeling is, though he is reluctant to name it. He’s always thought that, long before it happened to him.

Long before he met you.

“Hi,” you say shyly.

It feels like he freshly emerged from an overtime match when he breathes out, “Hey.”

These two words are all that is said between you before he is marching off to the locker rooms with an empty head– white shores– ‘Hi’s and ‘Hey’s etched in the sand. Suna wants to ram his head onto the lockers for reasons he cannot comprehend.

Seeing you again after all these years…he is transported back to his uncle’s shop, wearing that stupid pink and yellow striped uniform with chocolate dripping down his hand. The EJP Raijins jersey he’s quietly proud of melts away in the face of you, an occurrence he never fathomed.

The void stays when the whistle blows, but he isn’t distracted. On the contrary, the thought of you in the crowd, watching him, sustains the quiet shores inside of his mind and heart; its peace drowns out the cheers.

And Suna played the best he has ever played since he joined the team.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Rintarou, stop being dumb. I thought you’re smarter than this.”

“Uncle, what are you talking about–”’

“You know what I’m talking about! Watching you two during dinner was embarrassing! You barely spoke! Your grandfather’s rolling in his grave!”

“...no one asked you to look,” Suna counters weakly. “And leave grandpa out of this. Have some decency.”

His uncle rubs the palms of his hands into his eyes before carding them through his graying hair.

“I’ve watched you dance around each other since you were fifteen! Especially you, Suna!” he complains then repeats, “Fifteen! I didn’t let you have an ice-cream buffet for it to turn out like this!”

“We weren’t doing anything–”

“Rintarou.”

The serious tone his uncle took on made stops Suna mid-sentence. “She visited Aichi the last three years that you haven’t. She says it’s not to see you but she always asks how you’ve been doing.”

The information stuns Suna. You went back to Aichi? Why didn’t you say anything– oh. He changed his number. Well, why didn’t his uncle say anything?

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he inquires.

“She told me not to tell you, says she didn’t want to bother you and that ‘it’s weird.’ You kids and your social taboos. Still, I promised and I don’t break my promises.” He jabs Suna on the chest and adds, “You better not too!”

“It’s why I don’t make promises,” Suna mumbles and swats his uncle’s hand away. “Anyways, there’s nothing to say–”

His uncle lets out a loud, garbled cry of random sounds. “Your grandmother didn’t give her tickets away for you to chicken out! Your parents raised you better than this!”

“I can’t believe even grandma is in on this…”

Strong hands clasp him on the shoulders and Suna is forced to look his uncle in the eye.

“Go and talk to her. Properly. Like an adult.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

knock knock

‘Talk to her or I’ll tell grandma about the things you post on your Instagruel, Instrument– whatever it’s called!’

Suna sighs as he wonders why he never saw his uncle as the extortionist that he is. The man quite literally made him promise, with linked pinkies and all, to go talk to you before the night is over.

Suna doesn’t make promises but he keeps those that he does.

It’s not that he doesn’t want to talk to you. But what is there to say? Things weren’t exactly… clear , the last you and him spoke and saw each other, for that matter. He kissed you, you kissed back, and then poof. In modern dating terms, it’s safe to say that you mutually ghosted each other out of sheer– he doesn’t know what on your end– but definitely young stupidity on his.

“Rin? It’s getting late, what are you doing here?” You blink at him, surprise plain on your face at the unexpected guest.

Suna almost smiles at the nickname. It’s been a while since he heard you address him by that. At all, really.

He takes in your appearance, notes your fingers tugging at the hem of your shirt and the drumming of the other on the doorknob. Have you been as restless as he was this entire evening?

“I was wondering if you’d like to go for a walk with me?” Suna winces at his unnatural politeness. It’s you; he’s never this polite with you, not even when you were a customer. It’s bizarre.

There’s a brief moment of hesitance, unconscious, in the way you took a small step back before you’re nodding and asking him to wait whilst you went back inside your hotel room to change.

The winter air is crisp, wind tunneling between the buildings whipping at your figures as Suna leads you around aimlessly. Truth be told, he had no idea where to go or what to say.

“How have you been?” You break the ice.

Right, that’s a good place to start.

“I’ve been good. You?”

“I’ve been good too.”

“That’s good to hear.”

“Yeah.”

Suna wishes a truck will run off the curb and hit him now. His fingers are freezing off in his pockets and somehow they’re still sweating.

This is absolutely terrible.

A ray of hope cuts the grey path ahead, and Suna manages to peel his eyes away from his shoes to gaze upon his salvation–

Oh. It’s an ice-cream shop.

The irony isn’t lost on him. You don’t miss it either, for you peek up at him shyly, scratching at your cold cheeks, and ask, “Do you want to get any? For old time’s sake.”

When he nods, you turn and lead the way, grabbing the handle and missing how Suna stops following you just shy of the shop’s awning. He prefers to quickly rip the bandaid off.

“What happened?”

“Huh?” You look over your shoulder, confused. “What do you mean?”

Suna buries his face into his scarf as if to hide the burning ridge of his nose. “That night… you kissed back,” he mumbles. He has to force himself to look back at you, to discern and verify the rapid changes in your expression as you look for an answer.

Surprise, self-consciousness, bashfulness, nervousness, nostalgia–

“I–,” you clear your throat, the shop light shining like a beacon on your blushing skin, “I did.”

“Why did you kiss me back?” he addresses the giant, tri-colored elephant that has been slumbering in the back of his mind for years.

You sputter. “Why are you asking this all of a sudden? It was so long ago.”

“Tell me.” Suna persists, taking a step forward with narrowed eyes, pushing for a reason, an excuse, to justify the cloudy feelings he has been harboring for all these years and now jostled up by your unannounced appearance in his life again.

He’s not mad, he doesn’t not want you here, but the lack of closure for his young feelings, your reaction, and the lack of events that followed all those years ago isn’t pleasant. It leaves a muddy clog in his chest and quite frankly, he dislikes it. There was so much left unsaid and unexplained; perhaps he should have let it go and Suna thought he did. Until he saw you again.

And Suna knows, he just knows, that you feel the same way as he did.

Why else would you come see him play? Why else would you go back to Aichi the last couple of years?

Why did you two simply drift apart?

He’s so close to you now that he can see the perspiration beading on you, feel your warmth radiating and seeping into the folds of his clothes. You refuse to meet his eyes, looking here and there and everywhere but him right before you. Similarly, his heart is beating so loud that he’s sure you can hear it.

“Tell me.”

“Because I liked you! Okay?!” You finally cave, admitting with eyes squeezed tight. It reminds Suna of how he too kept his eyes closed as if his life depended on it when he first kissed you.

“Then why didn’t you say anything!? Why did you stop responding?”

“Don’t try and pin it on me. You didn’t contact me any further!”

“Neither did you!”

“Well, you changed your number and didn’t tell me!”

“That’s because I thought we’re no longer speaking with each other!”

You’re both breathing fast, hearts and emotions rising, and Suna glimpses the shop staff staring in concern through the glass. He deflates with a sigh and steps back before the staff misunderstands the situation and calls the police.

The streets of Tokyo are rarely silent yet somehow, this little area in the big city is exactly that. There’s only the sound of distant cars humming like waves on distant shores, and the muted chatter of people buzzing like summer cicadas; it reminds Suna of the times he went on late night walks with you along the beaches of his hometown.

You slap your hands over your face. “Oh my god…”

He snorts and laughs in turn at the incredulous conversation that took place. It doesn’t take long for you to peek through your fingers and join as well, chortling in disbelief.

“We were fucking dumb ,” he states.

“In our defense, we were young.”

“Still dumb.”

“Yeah, we were.”

An embarrassing silence follows as you stare at each other. Sunca can see the gears in your head churning, processing the revelation that the two of you had been, well, dumbasses for years. He can empathize, for his brain hurtles through the same process.

You break eye contact and look down at your shoes, scuffing them against concrete. “I guess there’s also another reason why I was hesitant to contact you after,” you begin mumbling, and Suna reflexively curls his hands into fists within the confines of his pockets.

“Yeah? Besides being a teenager incapable of communication?”

“It’s a better reason than that!” you pout furiously, head sinking into your scarf. “I was going abroad. I have been abroad, the last few years. College.

Suna whistles, sincerely impressed. “Nice. Where at?”

“Irrelevant. I’ll tell you later,” you brush off his question to continue your explanation– reasoning– to why you stopped contacting him.

Suna watches intently as you take a deep breath, idly noting how the ice-cream store staff are still staring at your figures with too much curiosity and intensity, the shop door failing to completely mute his conversation with you, bits and pieces filtering through the little vents at its foot.

One male staff even holds a cone in his hand, watching the scene unfold as if this were a movie. The man takes a long lick, eyes all the while glued on your figures.

“That night when you– we, well, you know–” you stumble over your words and Suna finds not much has changed; you were still as bad at communicating your feelings as you were at seventeen. You clear your throat of the clogging shyness, “At that time I already knew I was leaving Japan as soon as I graduated. I planned to tell you but then you–”

“I kissed you,” he supplies plainly.

“Yes. And, well, there didn’t seem to be a good moment to tell you after that,” you finish softly. Regret isn’t the right word to describe your feelings in this moment, reflecting back on that summer night and the next four years without closure. You do not regret ever following your aspirations abroad, especially not over a boy in your youth. You weren’t that dumb. However, you admit that you could have handled it better, communicated it, talked with him– “I should have handled it better.”

“Yeah, you should have.”

A disbelieving gasp leaves you, head whipping up angrily to tell Suna off but the teasing grin that greets you has your anger easily deflating.

Suna understands. He really does, because he would have done the same thing in your position. Had he known you were going to leave the country, would he still have kissed you? Probably, only because his body moved on its own that night. Though it doesn't mean he forgot the flutters, the want, whenever he was with you back then. It’s not too far off from what he’s feeling in the present; it’s dimmer, but it has grown, matured with him in age. He’s no longer as jittery and blinded by white shores.

He’s grown. You’ve grown.

“I should have done better too.”

A cloak that has long rested on the depths of his heart– of gray clouds and why’s, unnamed yet felt, ignored but not forgotten, existing as surely as he does breathes– lifts the moment he utters these words. He feels revivified– released, of this midsummer memory that has crawled into his mind countless times in the minutes before sleep takes him (his brain has a penchant of replaying it for him unbidden at 2am). Suna shudders to think that had his family not invited you to his match, he and you would have continued on with your lives carrying overcast hearts caused by something as silly as simply being teenagers still learning and growing.

Judging by the smile dimpling your cheeks, Suna knew you felt the same.

He nods at the shop door behind you. “We should probably go inside. That is…if you still want to?”

Your answer comes in a shy smile burrowing into clothes and a blast of hot air that his chilled body welcomes. The shop bell chimes and you are both transported to past summers and the first time you met in a wave of nostalgia.

Suna hasn’t gone to an ice-cream shop since the last time he worked for his uncle, having subconsciously avoided them in the shadow of his volleyball career as an excuse; your love for ice-cream shops developed because of many days spent at one with a special boy, and many more visited over the years in reminiscence and perhaps regret.

“There’s a buy one free one scoop deal for couples.” The male staff, the audacious one from before, announces when you reach the counter.

“Oh, we’re not–” you begin but Suna nudges you sneakily.

“Pick whatever flavor you want, honey. My treat.”

You had been his first love at first sight. And likely, you are the last.

Because Suna thinks that people who fall head over heels for someone at first glance are fools. Love is something that is grown into, to be slowly nurtured with time and dedication. To his logic-based brain, the entire idea of smashing head first into love at a glance is ludicrous, like a bad car crash where you never see it coming until it's too late.

He knows because he’s experienced it. Both the unexplainable, ridiculous butterflies sprouting into existence the moment you stepped through the door and into his life, and the subsequent 7 years it took to nurture it.

There was no car crash however, only teen folly and human imperfection.

You glance up at him with a cheeky grin as you answer, sing-song and all-knowing.

“I’ll have a rainbow sherbet.”

“Yuck.”

“It’s a good flavor!!”

An expression you’re not sure you have ever seen Suna make before lights his face for but a transient second. It’s one of those laughter-smiles, all teeth with wide lips and wrinkles accompanied by tuneful joy. Suna knows it too because the muscles pulling at his cheeks are unfamiliar, straining wider than he usually lets them in his side smirks.

“In that case, two rainbow sherbets please,” he tells the staff. He can feel your gaze pressing onto the side of his face with a question unspoken, and this is when Suna brings out his infamous smirk.

He takes both cones and turns to you with green, pink, and orange in the palms of his hands. A trifecta of colors.

They say that everyone becomes a believer of love at first sight when it happens to them. Well, Suna rightly doesn’t know.

All he knows is that, instead of purple lightning striking, there was only a void filled with empty white shores whenever he saw you; it didn’t matter how many times or how long in between. All Suna knows is that the world fades away in the presence of you.

As he hands you your cone, Suna sees colors dyeing the white shores below his feet once more.

And Suna knows he will do it right this time.

#suna rintarou x reader #suna x reader #haikyuu x reader #suna rintarou x you #suna rintaro x reader #inarizaki x reader #hq x reader #suna rintarou #suna x you #hq!! x reader

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hyuukais · 1 year ago

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okay so i just finished The Sun and The Star and thus am plagued with thoughts of demigod au’s so here are some of the thoughts:

(some of this is also inspired by The Star Seekers lore and what not)

Yeonjun: okay so,,,i’m kinda torn between child of ares and child of aphrodite. on the one hand there’s that firey almost aggressive drive and ambition. his agility and strength pose a threat on both the battlefield and the dance floor. then there’s also his,,looser temper. however, a lot of that can also translate over as a child of aphrodite. his intense passion and overwhelming compassion. his love and passion for performing such a prime motivator to continue pushing himself. a huge heart with so much love for all those in his life. Not to mention his interests in fashion and beauty and creating statements with clothes (or his flirting on weverse). children of aphrodite do also have their snappy moments as well. which is why i’ll say Yeonjun is a Child of Aphrodite.

Soobin: okay, so, i was actually having a rEALLY hard time with soobin. originally i thought perhaps athena, natural-born leader, but that didn’t feel entirely right. then maybe hephaestus? but definitely not right either. Demeter is a little too child-of-the-earth for him and Iris just doesn’t seem to work. Of course in Star Seekers soobin is an archer, but even Apollo doesn’t feel right. It was only after talk with someone else that it kind of settled where he belonged. Now, it’s be a little weird for a demigod to be unfit for the domain of their parent, but it’s not uncommon. In fact, many children’s mortal parents will actually instill fear of their godly parents element as though it will keep them safe. It’s odd that soobin, despite his inability to swim, comes across most accurately as a child of poseidon. however, the sea is equal parts powerful and terrifying and calm and comforting. a gentle giant, an imperfect leader, introverted and rarely commanding, but caring and willing in all of the ways needed. he reflects well in the push and pull of the tides. plus, getting the entire cabin to himself is kinda perfect. also, horse girl soobin 🤷 thus ends my long-winded, hard-to-decipher reasoning as to why i think Soobin is Child of Poseidon.

Beomgyu: gyu’s very base disposition is rather quiet and muted when you aren’t as close. as soon as you get to peel back layers you find the playfulness everyone talks about. Teasing is a form of affection yet he’s never devoid of kindness and a warm smile. Despite his nature as an introvert, he’s a very good addition to any welcoming committee. Also, the intelligence of children of Hermes is so often undermined despite them being incredibly resourceful and smart, both traits of Beomgyu’s that are commonly ignored. He has a compassion and sense of empathy that aligns well with those who take in all travelers, all those lost or forgotten. somewhat similar to a lost boy, beomgyu finds friends and family in everyone, with time of course. Hence why i think Beomgyu is a Child of Hermes

Taehyun: in an effort to not reduce Taehyun in to the tired “only braincell” stereotype, i wanted to avoid categorizing him under Athena. And after some consideration, i have come to a conclusion. Tyun is smart, he’s seen to be a very logical thinker and seems to have a lot of trivial knowledge. He has great emotional intelligence and physical strength. In any case, he would be able to fight a battle with both brain AND brawn. He’s an eloquent speaker with a dry sense of humor and a teasing nature. It’s a wonderful encapsulation of both a scholar and a fighter; someone known for knowledge AND strength on the battlefield. It’s often forgotten that those are both things honored in Athena’s name as the goddess of knowledge and warfare. Therefore, i think it’s very fitting to place Taehyun as a Child of Athena

Hueningkai: i think it’s really often forgotten that hueningkai is quite literally a musical prodigy. Drums, Guitar, piano, & vocals!!! Like that one clip of him casually playing Beethoven while talking about pikachu stickers ?!?!?? not to mention his almost sunshine-like disposition. there’s absolutely zero question as to whose kid he is. sure,,he could stand to improve his first-aid skills but, in times of need, there is no better quality than his compassion for every person in need. however, not even training from his father himself could save Kai’s archery skills 💀 of course, all of the members are incredibly talented artists, but Kai’s musicianship is on such a level i have no choice but to say he must be a Child of Apollo.

#txt #tomorrow x together #txt imagines #txt taehyun #txt huening kai #txt beomgyu #txt yeonjun #txt soobin #kpop imagines #percy jackon and the olympians #percy jackson headcanon #txt hcs #txt headcanons #kpop headcanons #kang taehyun #choi soobin #hueningkai #choi yeonjun #choi beomgyu

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twistedberri3z · 1 year ago

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☀️Sims 4 : Fruity Days Challenge☀️

Welcome to the Sims 4 Fruity Days Challenge!

If you can’t guess. This challenge is about fruit.

They don’t need to be red, green, blue etc.

The inspiration for this challenge actually came when my sim Iris’ mum Peach died hence the fact she lost her mum at a very young age. I don’t really know what came to me it was just a spark of inspiration

You can use the gallery for items (When stated)

You start out on 20000 simoleons

Please use #fruitydayschallenge when you play this challenge so I can see your sims!!

Generation 1 : Blueberry

You lost your mother at a very young age and you continue to mourn the loss of her. Your loved to sky gaze with your mother and you have always liked the color blue since. Your love for astronomy comes from your mother’s career and you want to follow in her footsteps and decide to follow on. You also have a weird loving for sad music and violins.

Base Game Traits : Gloomy, Loner, Creative

DLC Traits : Gloomy, Socially Awkward, Creative

Career : Astronaut

Aspiration: Nerd Brain

Note : If you start in a legacy you are already doing it and not starting a new save. Move your Blueberry sim out as a teen! (It’s fine if you can’t!)

Rules :

•Master Astronaut Career

•Complete Nerd Brain Aspiration

•Build a rocket and woohoo your partner in it

•Visit Sixam if you have get to work

•Visit Geekcon (Requires City Living)

•Master Rocket Science, Handiness and Logic Skill

•Open up secret hatch in Oasis Springs

Places you can live

Base Game : Willow Creek - Live anywhere in courtyard lane

Get Together : Windenburg - Live anywhere in world

Generation 2 : Watermelon

Part 1 :

You loved to write, you had many journals as a kid and would always wake up around 2 am and moon gaze just to see what your parent was really interested in. When you became a teenager you wrote a book about your parent and all of her achievements in her career. You just love writing and another interest that comes in another part down below…

Part 2 :

(REQUIRES GET FAMOUS EXPANSION PACK!!!)

Nothing other than that and acting! Acting sure is a wonderful thing, to stand up to an audience and act! Except one problem... Your audience is a mirror… You didn’t really have time for your kid since you were so hooked into doing your writing you basically forgot about them and just hired a nanny or just relied on your mother.

Part 2 :

Base Game :

Nothing other than Charisma. It’s an alright thing except your just talking to a mirror all the time… You didn’t really have time for your kid since you were so hooked into doing your writing you basically forgot about them and just hired a nanny or just relied on your parent.

Part 3 :

(REQUIRES CITY LIVING EXPANSION PACK!!!)

Just for the cherry on top, your a hopeless romantic. Everything for you just goes wrong in terms of love. You know that you hate romance but you know you have to get somewhere in life so you marry your love later on in life as an elder.

Part 3 :

Base Game :

You never had good love lives. You had so many failed relationships, you began to loose hope on ever finding love again until you find someone who you truly love…

Part 4 :

(REQUIRES MY WEDDING STORIES GAME PACK)

You have always dreamed of going to Tartosa on vacation… You fall in love with someone on the beach and you marry happily as an elder… Happily Ever After? Hell no. You’ve got a rebellious person to look after. It’s called regrets of having a child.

NO BASE GAME PART 4

(No, you do not break the rules because of this it just means that you can’t do it.)

DLC Traits : Unflirty, Ambitious, Materialistic

Base Game Traits : Loner, Ambitious, Materialistic

Career : Writer

Aspiration : Best-Selling Author

Rules :

PART 1 RULES

•Have only one child

•Master Writer Career

•Complete Best-Selling Author Aspiration

•Master the Writing Skill

PART 2 (GET FAMOUS VER)

Master Acting Skill

PART 2 (BASE GAME VER)

Master Charisma Skill

PART 3 (CITY LIVING VER)

•Have 2 unsuccessful relationships before you settle in and marry as an elder!

PART 3 (BASE GAME VER)

•Have 4 unsuccessful relationships before you settle in and marry as an elder!

PART 4 (MY WEDDING STORIES VER)

•Find and marry someone in Tartosa

•Marry in La Coppia Serena

Extra Rule : Wake up at 2am everyday and stargaze

Generation 3 : Plum

You were never cared for as a kid which gave you as much freedom as you needed to mess around with computers! You discovered around the age of 13 how to program and around 15 learnt how to steal money and hack. Your parent never found out as you always locked your door and they never came in anyway due to them being so hooked into their writing. You also never really did much and either lied in your bed or just hacked or played games that you were obsessed, not to mention you loved doing mischief so much you liked to break into people’s houses to clog stuff.

Traits : Lazy, Mean, Evil

Career : Tech Guru (start up-entrepreneur) Aspiration : Chief of Mischief

Rules :

•Master Tech Guru Career

•Complete Chief of Mischief Aspiration

•Master Programming, Mischief & Video Gaming Skill

Generation 4 : Pineapple

You grew around an environment that made people suffer and mean things and you just grew up to me that personified. You love to see misery and for some random reason you hate the colour red. You love breaking people’s hearts and love to have affection so your literally a human version of a devil.

You love stealing things, especially money…

Traits : Evil, Kleptomaniac, Romantic

Career : Criminal (Boss)

Aspiration: Public Enemy

Rules :

•Master Criminal Career

•Master Charisma, Mischief

•Go to every outing you can in opportunity to meet new people

•Romance every single person you know (except your family because that’s just gross or people who say “I’m flattered but I’d rather we just be friends”)

Generation 5 : Pomegranate

Ok look, your mother doesn’t like pomegranate’s or the color red so she doesn’t like you, basically for context of this, the person in the video is your mother : https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=6oN5p5opst8 Other than your crazy mother you love art and cooking more than anything in the world (apart from your lover of course!!!) You also had a random thing to swim.

Traits : Art Lover, Foodie, Creative

Career : Painter (Master of the real)

Aspiration : Painter Extraordinaire

Rules :

• Master Painter Career

• Master Painting, Cooking Skill

• Reach Fitness Level 3

• Master Painter Extraordinaire

Generation 6 : Kiwi

PART 1 :

DLC VER :

(REQUIRES DISCOVER UNIVERSITY EXPANSION PACK)

You always seem to have the giggles and are just generally silly. You have always considered taking the career path of a teacher so you can be as silly as the kids are! You love alternative teaching methods to help your kids! Your dreams are to become a comedian but you can’t because your a teacher. You quit your career to become a comedian (mid-life crisis much so??)

PART 1 :

Base Game :

You always seem to have the giggles and are just generally silly. You have always considered taking the career path of a social media star so you can see what the kids are doing and want to become a social star! Your dreams are to become a comedian but you can’t because your a teacher. You quit your career to become a comedian (mid-life crisis much so??)

MC COMMAND CENTER : PART 2

It’s too bad your end was miserable though… You cracked up a bit too much at one of your jokes and die of hysteria.

NO PART 2 FOR DLC AND BASE GAME

Traits : Childish, Cheerful, Goofball

Career : Education / Social Media / Entertainer

Aspiration : Joke Star

Rules :

PART 1 DLC :

• Become a teacher and quit to become an entertainer 5 days into the adult lifespan.

• Complete Joke Star Aspiration

• Master Comedy, Acting, Charisma Skill

PART 1 Base Game :

• Become a social media star and quit to become an entertainer 5 days into the adult lifespan.

• Complete Joke Star Aspiration

• Master Comedy, Charisma Skill

PART 2 MCCC :

• Kill your sim of hysteria with the following down below

Maintain Sim / Kill Sim / Death by Laughter

ONLY DO THIS AFTER YOU HAVE FINISHED ALL THE REQUIREMENTS!!

Extra Rule : Your spouse must be cooking level 7.

SPOUSE RULE : Marry someone a life stage over your sim

Generation 7 : Peach

After you lost your parent things haven’t been the same. You had the most perfect life you could ever ask for, but your parent just tipped you over the edge and you decided to stay away from anything that your hysteric parent to avoid an unfortunate demise, because it terrified you. You like ghosts and like to speak to them, so much you decided to bring one of your ancestors into your home and invite them to live with you! Of course it would be weird but you decided to go along with it and mix it with your passion of cooking that you had picked up from your other parent who you loved to cook with because they are no longer here as well. One day you randomly decided to being your ancestor back to life, that would be cool right??? right… You decided you wanted to become a master chef (alright mini gordon ramsey?)

Traits : Foodie, Loves Outdoors

Trait Rule : Have your trait as cheerful and when Kiwi Generation heir dies use “cas.fulleditmode” to change it to gloomy.

Career : Culinary

Aspiration : Master Chef

DLC RULE

• Master the median skill

Normal Rules :

• Complete Master Chef Aspiration

• Master Culinary Career (Chef)

• Master Cooking & Gourmet Cooking Skill

• Buy the mentor reward

AMBROSIA RULE :

• Bring back a ghost from the dead

YOU CAN USE THE GALLERY TO GET ANGELFISH, DEATH FLOWER!

• Buy a potion of youth from the rewards store

GHOST : Your sim that was brought back to life your peach generation must mentor the sim to cook and reach level 6

Generation 8 : Lime

You had a stressful time growing up so you always went out on jogs and danced! You don’t like cooking. You always distanced yourself from your family and you had basically no relationship you like romance but you prefer to do athletic things. You had 2 kids and you looked after them, moderately…

Traits : Neat, Active, Loves Outdoors

Career : Athlete

Aspiration: Bodybuilder

Rules :

• Master the athletic skill

• Master Athletic Career

•Master bodybuilder aspiration

• Order takeout every time you need it (after previous generation dies)

• Have 1 failed relationship before settling in

• Have 2 kids

Generation 9 : Tangerine

You never really cared about your parent’s career you rather cared about working a boring 9 to 5 business job like your teachers told you that you would end up as and you took that on board a little bit to seriously and you have many friends and enemies in your lifetime!

You have always been clumsy since you were a little kid but you try to fail at things less.

Traits : Outgoing, Snob, Clumsy

Career : Business

Aspiration : Friend of the world

Rules :

• Make 30 friends and 13 enemies

• Master Business Career

• Complete Friend of the world aspiration

Generation 10 : Cherry

You make friends with your parent’s enemies and you are the complete opposite of your parent. Your parent hated you for doing that and you argued very often over it. You live a very busy life and you accomplish a lot making this the longest generation possible because you wanted to make your mark much more than your ancestors did and mark your history with them!

DLC TRAITS : Over-Achiever, Ambitious, Self-Assured

Base Game Traits : Perfectionist, Ambitious, Self-Assured

Career : Freelancer

Aspiration : Big Happy Family

RULES

•Master Charisma, Cooking, Gardening, Handiness, Logic, Mischief, Piano, Violin, Guitar Skill

•Complete Big Happy Family Aspiration

•Have a secret affair and have 2 kids with them without your spouse noticing

•Have 6 kids (including affairs kids)

•Have 6 failed relationships

•Become best friends with Peach Generation and bring them back into the household as a ghost and give her a gift of a death flower and bring them back to life and get the other ghosts of your ancestors and get peach to bring them ALL back to life!

•Have all the generations work to help raise your kids and grandkids

• Have atleast 3 grandkids before you die

You can use 3 potions of youth MAX for this generation (on the adult stage only, only FROM THE REWARD STORE!)

•You get angelfish and potions of youth (not for your own use) from the gallery

•Grow 9 death flower’s for your generations

#sims 4 challenges #sims 4 #sims 4 simblr #sims 4 legacy #the sims community #simblr #ts4 #the sims #the sims 4 #sims 4 story #sims 4 maxis match #sims 4 edit

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trenchcoatimpala · 2 months ago

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hi! i'm so sad i missed enrollment for your dean studies 101 course (my hyperfixation activated a few months too late unfortunately for me). do you have an archive of these posts/plan to do another course in the future? ty!! <3

Hi!

Unfortunately, my Dean Studies 101 course was a kind of one and done deal (as of now -- I will never say never to doing it again, because I know for certian that I will continue to rewatch this show and pick up on things I didn't before, and need to scream about my findings). I do still have my master document of all my little notes and things, but I have no plans to make them public as they're kind of a mess haha.

However, I am always down to discuss Dean! My dms are open and I literally leap at any chance to be insane about Dean and talk about all the things I discussed during the course. There is so much to unpack about him as a character!

I'll give you a run down on what was talked about and if you'd like to hop into my dms we can talk further about any topic! Discussion topics were as follows:

Dean's childhood/upbringing which includes his parentification at a young age

His abandonment issues

His masculinity/performative nature

His smarts

His self hatred

His trauams which included: Childhood, Hell, Purgatory, The Mark of Cain, and Michael

His coping mechaninsms

His death

I was very careful to keep disucsssion limited to purely canonical things the show has given us about Dean. There was of course room for speculation as well, but I would only speculate based on logical assumption from canonical evidence. I didn't want the course to be about headcanons a lot of the fandom seems to collectively agree are true, but about things the show told us outright. Not to worry, though, I allowed a class period at the end of the course to talk about all that stuff!

This is my long winded way of telling you that you are more than welcome to pick my brain about Dean and my silly little notes that I took during a particuarly deranged rewatch (that was totally the fault of Jensen Ackles himself).

Thanks for reminding me that I still have Dean Winchester Derangement Syndrome and that it's never going away 😅

#ask box #answered #dean studies 101 #dean studies #lmhf1 #dean winchester

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taekooktimeline · 2 years ago

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Help!

Hey everyone!

I want to open this up for discussion. I can’t seem to create a poll on here (that I can see) so a blog post will have to do. I may delete this post to keep the blog clean of this type of thing but let’s see ☺️

Do you think the Taekook Tik Tok video was filmed

1) in the first two weeks of November 2022, around sunrise, when Jungkook was back from Qatar the first time

2) November 22, 2022 around sunrise, literally right after Jungkook came back the second time from Qatar

I didn’t factor airport outfits into why I went with 11/22, but was going off a general consensus and discussions I saw on social media.

However, I just watched Vante Kim’s latest video, and while I always caution about relying heavily on analysis videos, she tends to be very sound and logical.

Based on her video, I’m apt to change the date to a blanket “first two weeks of November 2022” but welcome thoughts before I do that.

I feel bad for people who’ve reblogged my post, since when I edit, the reblogs don’t modify. I’m really sorry about that.

As you know, dates aren’t my strong suit. As long as I have a general timeframe, I’m happy with that. To say it took place at the start of November, or the end, isn’t too terribly far off. But my OCD is fixating on it so let me know what you think ☺️💜💜

Update - I’ve had a lot of AMAZING feedback in the last 24 hours. It seems like a general consensus is after the second trip. Y’all left some incredibly pertinent facts so I’ll leave this up as an archive for the discussions part of the blog☺️my gut said after the second trip, especially because of the hair band, but my OCD wouldn’t let it go. I know it’s not too far of a time difference, whether it’s after the first or second trip to Qatar, and the primary point of preserving that piece is because we got an adorable Taekook Tik Tok video. Still, I’m incredibly grateful to everyone for leaving their thoughts, since my brain wouldn’t quit worrying💜It was really neat reading some of the things being pointed out, such as the Celine hoodie, the timing between Yoonmin’s and Hobi’s uploads compared to theirs, etc🥰 thank you so much 🙏🏽

(Keep your feedback coming if you have anything else you’d like to add!)

#taekook #taekooktimeline #2022 #asks #discussions

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thiinka · 2 years ago

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Ok, I have seen TONS of posts about Josh Hutcherson complaining or observing that, “he didn’t do barely anything after Hunger Games! I wanted to see him in more stuff!” And with the new trailer for it, some want more Hutcherson content before the FNAF movie.

Well. I have a Hulu original (looks safe from the evil mouse merge)/yarr harr high seas (looks like at least 1337x has all 3 seasons) show recommendation for you. It’s taken up welcome space in my brain, for many good and funny reasons. I’m not a Hulu or executive producer Seth Rogan shill, this show is just surprisingly damn good.

Future Man, starring and produced by Josh Hutcherson.

Josh Hutcherson is Josh… Futturman, a janitor at a local biotech research lab which is doing work on curing all illnesses. He finishes a particular video game in his spare time, which turns out to be a scenario sent from the future to the past as a way to find someone to save humanity’s future. Future freedom fighters Tiger and Wolf, the other two main characters, time travel into his bedroom, and the story kicks off. Turns out the biotech research lab isn’t doing the good work it says it is.

Yes, there is time travel. Multiple forms of time travel are used in intelligent ways to the service of the story and the characters, not just to “be smarter than you.” Alternate timelines, doomed timeline individuals, altered main timelines, facilitated by multiple kinds of time travel devices with different capabilities. You’ve seen time cops done before, well here they are again but better and funnier. You’ve seen a time loop done before, well here it is again but with more horrifying implications.

Yes, the characters do start off fairly one-dimensional. You have a weak gamer, a strong woman, and a tough man. Then both the main characters and recurring side characters have arcs and development that make sense with their foundations and personalities, both individually and as a group. It’s consistent, they use skills they picked up in a time travel stint, plot lines that affected them come back. Same thing with the world setting. I really don't want to spoil it, it's so damn fun to see these guys pick up skills and traits.

Yes, the humor is ALSO very crude and sometimes fluid-based. A couple of the writers also worked on Sausage Party. I don’t have a lot of points here: if you’re ok with sex and nudity humor erring on the (well done!) practical effects gross-wise, go for it. If you’re not, I hope you can forgive me but this show might not be for you. However, some of these physical jokes come back for the sake of the story and character development, sometimes in surprising ways. For example, something that happens early season 1 comes back in mid season 2 to connect characters, and it's an incredibly touching payoff for how crude the setup was.

For having such crude humor, with such a tropey beginning to the story, with such basic characters, I was shocked by myself a couple episodes in: I was really invested in what these guys would do next and what would happen next. Wacky stuff happens every episode that still manages to logically follow what happened before. I know, it's the minimum for a fun show, but it was also emotionally engaging. I wanted to see these jackasses win and understand and work with each other! With the least amount of damage to themselves and the world! Their motivations change and shift and become more personal and come into conflict with the goals of others and their group! Holy shit, these are well written dynamic people who remember (or don't ;) ) things that happened to them!

Did I mention there are three complete seasons, each with its own different but logically connected arc, that it’s a finished story, and it was not cancelled midway through? Give it a shot!

#future man #josh hutcherson #hulu #there's only like... two pieces of wolf fanart on tumblr #so like. I think this show needs more attention #especially for y'all who like hutcherson :) he's a suuuuper sweaty pathetic guy in this and it's funny as hell #actually everyone has turns being sweaty and pathetic and also sexy #first big original post in a while lmao #josie muses #hope at least one person gives this show a try from this post

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fantasy-scientific · 6 months ago

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Fantasy-scientific approach: Halflings

I am glad to welcome you, dear users, to this near-scientific blog! Here, together with those who want to help, we create the most detailed and realistic descriptions for the phenomena of the fantasy world. In this post we will talk about the race of halflings, please, if you have any ideas to supplement the article, then write! Here is the result of my compilation of many disparate internet ideas:

Humites (Humit sapiens sapiens) are a humanoid race, somewhat lower than humans. Due to the unusual structure of the Humite brain, their logical and mathematical abilities are much higher than those of other races. The abilities of mathematical calculation and logical analysis reach the physiological level for this race, as well as digestion. Due to the extreme prudence, precision and meticulousness of this species, their character is direct and heavy. However, at the same time, it is very difficult for them to fantasize and imagine something abstract. Art is almost not developing, and the Humites themselves consider fiction to be just a waste of time. It is very difficult to find writers and thinkers among them, such a kind of activity belongs to them idleness. However, legends and myths are very popular among the population, which brighten up their free time and are classics of the people. Humites also have a highly developed cerebellum and a system for transferring information from the brain the cerebral cortex in the same cerebellum, which gives the humite structure a rounded occiput. The average height is 120-130 cm. In battle, they are vulnerable against blunt weapons, relatively protected due to the accuracy of their body from cutting. Due to the fact that the humite's body is small, the flowing armor will have a better protective effect against piercing weapons. The main weapons of the Humites are short swords with shields. The Humite cavalry also fight on horseback on riding sheep or hounds. Cavalry consists mainly of crossbowmen, as they are weak in close combat, because it is extremely inconvenient to fight with a spear or a skewer on horseback with short limbs. Armies move for a long time, so they perform better in defense with formations using large shields than in attack. Military tactics most often consist of sabotage. Humites are divided into three subspecies:

1) gnome (earthids, earthlook, mountain-born) are the most technically developed subrace, with pale skin and developed muscles, they often live in the mountains, spend most of their lives in mines, grow underground edible crops, mainly vegetables, berries and mushrooms, fruits are considered a delicacy imported from outside their native mountains tops thanks to one of the largest retail chains. Almost the entire gnome social system is based on the trade in inventions and metals . They are famous for their luminescent hypocrisy based on wine made from luminous cave berries.

2) dwarves (redskins, warids) are the most aggressive subrace of Humites, strongly developed muscles and slightly tanned skin, live in mountains or hills, however, unlike their fellow dwarves, the sun is not alien to them. There are farming mountain lands at the foot of the mountains and on plains close to settlements.

3) hobbits (Hillids) are the most peaceful subrace, live in fields and have similar human musculature, which is why they are often condemned by other Humites.

#literature #race #dwarf #dwarves #the hobbit #gnome #creature #humanoid #fantasy #fauna #science #pseudoscience #halflings #fantasy creature

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oatmealdaydreams · 1 year ago

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Invisibility vs Visibility

Theory Time!

A shorter theory because brain is low on braincells. Enjoy :D

Edit: haha, nope. Not short. It is, in fact, very long. Biggo post. Extra long motherf*cker. Giraffe-long theory we've got here.

Disclaimer: I am referring to the character Thomas Sanders, not the real person. I may make reference to the real person for a few different things, but the main one I will be discussing is the character.

Trigger/Content Warning: discussion of morals/morality, religious themes, discussion of intrusive thoughts, brief discussion of self-harm & grief/death

[Masterlist]

Thinking about the 5 Years Anniversary video, and how Remus mentions whispering the whole 'bubblegum shrimp' thing to Roman in his sleep. Then, I thought about how in Remus' introductory video (DWIT), there's the sticky note that says "Aunt Patty Naked" in the background. I remember how Roman had said the whole 'Aunt Patty Naked' thing in a previous video.

Which got me thinking: what if some of Roman's weirder outbursts were from Remus' influence?

And that got me thinking: but how would he be able to whisper things like that during a video? And before his introduction??

One answer: twin telepathy, which would be both funny and fun to mess around with as a fanfic writer.

However, I thought of something else.

What if the Sides had an Invisibility side effect?

I'll explain.

===

A. Imaginary Characters

The Sides are all imaginary characters, made of Thomas' psyche to better help him through dilemmas. They're all aware of being technically-real-but-also-not-real people. Metaphysical, as Logan might say.

They're just parts of Thomas, given specific roles to what they represent. Originating from Vine characters and turned into their own personas, sans Remus and Janus. They're fictional. They are aware of them not being entirely real, to some degree (the dark Sides moreso as they constantly break the fourth wall).

So, how would the imaginary appear on screen as if they were real?

Ignoring the fact that they're fictional and played by Thomas himself. We're focusing entirely on the Sanders Sides canonverse/Sanders Sides universe.

Anyway: they appear on screen like real people because it's Thomas' knowledge and awareness of them. They're Thomas' Sides. They're as real to him as the parts of his personality they're based on. It's his psyche, his imagination, his characters. As long as Thomas is aware of them, they appear on screen and become somewhat real (in the SaSi universe).

To prove my point: remember the first and only three Sides we saw visibly for the first two episodes?

Logan (Logic, Sense of Reason), Roman (Creativity, Passion, Ego), and Patton (Morality, Emotions/the Heart).

The "light" Sides, as they're called.

Why are they the only three on screen? Because Thomas is aware of them and already knows about them.

Just because the Others aren't seen doesn't mean they aren't there.

They're just not known to Thomas yet, sans maybe Virgil.

(he's a special case; you'll see what I mean a little later into the post)

-=-=-=-=-

B. The Lights & Being Visible

The Lights: Logan, Patton, Roman

Thomas knows these three the most out of the six of them. The Lights are the ones in the forefront of his mind, in the 'spotlight'. They're the ones labelled as 'welcomed' and 'good'.

Logic and Sense of Reasoning? Humans have Logic instilled in them since the beginning of their creation. Logic isn't just intellect and smarts, it's literally what helps the brain most when functioning a human being. It's something so physical that it'll never go away. It cannot fade away. It's there to stay.

That being said, it's still a part of personalities because it's also intellect and smarts. It's also Common Sense. It's Learning and Wisdom and all that entails.

Thomas is a very smart individual. He's neurodivergent (irl Thomas literally has ADHD and made a whole video about it). Neurodivergents (NDs) tend to have a higher intelligence. So yeah, Thomas is very intelligent and curious. He depends on his Logic for a whole sh*t-ton of things. He's used to Logan, his Logic.

Morality and Emotions/the Heart? Morals are such an important part of humans and their values. Emotions are something we can't always control. Our Heart and Morality goes hand in hand. Our morals can shape our heart and vice versa. Both are equally important.

Thomas has a big Heart. He feels things and Emotions very deeply. He's a sensitive person. Dare I say, he's an empath. His morals lay heavy on his Heart. Because of his Catholic upbringing, his Morality tends to follow that of a religious standpoint. And that affects how his Heart grew and got shaped during his childhood development.

Since Patton is also his Love for Dad Jokes, and an obvious dad character, it makes sense for him. Morality and morals? Well, who teaches you morals, right from wrong? Your parents do. The people who raise you do. So yeah, Patton has this Preacher Dad thing going on. But I digress.

Anyway: Thomas is used to Patton. He's the embodiment of some of his core beliefs. So yeah, definitely a Side he's well aware of.

Creativity, Passion, Ego? So many things to tackle here.

First off, Creativity is literally where a lot of his intelligence comes from. Thomas is a creative type, a creatively intelligent person. He made his entire livelihood based on his creative merits. Though only half of his Creativity, Roman is definitely an important character of Thomas' personality.

Passion means many things: romance, career/hobbies, creative passion, and just a whole lot more. Since Roman is definitely one of the gayest motherf*ckers in terms to romance, it's safe to say him being Thomas' Passion means a lot of different things. He plays a big part in Thomas' romantic love life. He's passionate about his creations, as Creativity, and what he provides for Thomas. He's passionate and dramatic in general, especially considering he represents most of Thomas' love for theatre and acting.

The Ego? Oh boy, is this an essential part to Thomas. The Ego, put simply, is a person's sense of self-worth and self-esteem. It's kept healthy by positive reinforcement and attention. It's in no way bad. In fact, it's a very good thing. It keeps peoples' mental states healthier.

Which explains c!Thomas' mental breakdown, but I digress.

Anyway: The Ego (aka: Roman) is super f*cking important and essential. Thomas knows Roman as the Ego (amongst other things). He's very much used to his Ego, his [family-friendly half of] Creativity, his Passion and romantic Side.

Thus: yes, these three are known enough by Thomas to be appearing on screen. They're visible to us because they're visible to Thomas.

Which explains the dark Sides (and Virgil).

-=-=-=-=-

C. The Darks & Invisibility

The Darks: Janus, Remus, Orange

As I mentioned above: the Lights are visible to us because they're visible to Thomas, known by Thomas.

So, it follows that because Thomas doesn't know the Darks until later, they aren't visible to us until they're visible to Thomas.

Deceit and Self-Preservation? Deceit/Deception and realizing your capacity for it is very important. Lying and deceiving others isn't exactly the best thing on its own, but it can keep you alive. It's a part of emotional/physical survival. It keeps you out of trouble. It can help protect your being and Self. Self-Preservation is, put simply, preserving your Self and your sense of Self. It's protecting your mental and emotional health. It's protecting your Ego and self-worth. It's keeping you alive, trying to preserve your mental state. It's trying to keep you from snapping and completely losing it. Self-Preservation will keep things from you because you aren't ready for them yet, because forgotten memories hurt you, because you need to be in a different place to handle certain things better. Having Deceit and Self-Preservation paired together makes more sense than not.

For Thomas, I'd say he had a lot of Deceit going on for the purpose of Self-Preservation and protection. Especially considering he grew up as a gay Catholic kid in 90s Florida. And thus is a similar experience for most of us fellow queers.

Anyway: Thomas hadn't realized his capacity for Deceit yet, not had he brought his Self-Preservation to light. His mental was indeed suffering, and he wasn't being entirely honest with himself. He was a bit deep in Denial. His Self-Preservation was keeping things from him (other Sides of him, Janus himself, the hard truths he had yet to face), which plays into Denial and possible Self-Ignorance.

The other Sides, that he knew at the time, were trying to hide the existence of Janus as well as convincing him Lying Is Bad, period. His Morality swore off lying, it wasn't right, we shouldn't lie. His Anxiety went off at the thought of lying, even if for good reason (this also had something to do with Virgil's general distaste for Janus). His Logic was a bit neutral to it, as far as I saw. His [known] Creativity, as well as his Ego and Passion, wavered between lying and telling truth. Roman mostly acted in Self-Interest, if only to boost Thomas' Ego or play positively into his passions.

Only did Thomas start to realize his Deceit, and his Self-Preservation for mental health specifically, when his Morality is faced with a more shades-of-grey question. Janus shifts into Patton to appeal to him as something he already knows and is aware of before revealling himself (CLBG). Things go from there to Janus helping him realize how truly f*cked his mental is (SvS & POF). Only then does he become visible.

Intrusive Thoughts and [Darker] Creativity? As much as they aren't welcomed, Intrusive Thoughts are important to note. The more frequent you have them, the more likely your mental health may need to be checked in on. They don't make you any less of a good person. Thoughtcrime isn't real. Thought doesn't equal action. You choose whether or not to act on the thoughts you have. You have control. You'll be okay.

I digressed a little bit. Whoops.

Anyway: Darker Creativity is super f*cking important, especially for a creative person (like Thomas). The darker side of Creativity helps explore more mature ideas and concepts. Without it, many things might not get addressed in your creative works. Things like self-harm, the darker things of mental health, the cruel reality of many different things, grief and death, etc. That includes Intrusive Thoughts (heh). With Darker Creativity, you could explore gore and such monstrosities. Horror games? Thrillers? Cruel realities and dystopias? Body horror? All from that comes from Darker Creativity. Your favourite shooter games? Zombie Apocalyptic fiction? Yep, Darker Creativity.

Having Intrusive Thoughts paired with Darker Creativity makes a little too much sense, honestly.

For Thomas, he had shunned away his Darker Creativity. He repressed his Intrusive Thoughts. Repression does no one any good. Ignoring something like that is more harmful than anything. He shackled his Creativity by repressing and shunning the darker parts of himself like that.

Funny how both of his Creativities feel shackled and restricted, huh?

Moving on: his Self-Preservation helped hide away (in a way) his Darker Creativity. A part of himself that just wants recognition and attention. Remus literally said, and I quote, "Thomas, you made me this way." When you shun a part of yourself and repress it, especially so deeply, it becomes intrusive. When something is so foreign to you and labelled as 'bad', it becomes intrusive. No matter how dark your mind or Creativity is, you're still a good person. Thoughtcrime isn't real.

I need to stop diverging from my point, jfc-

The point: Thomas didn't know his Darker Creativity until much later. He didn't recognize his Intrusive Thoughts as Intrusive Thought until much later. He was denying himself until much later.

Only when his mental was really drowning in the depths of a self-deprecating sea did he see those things. Only when he was so close to a mental breakdown did he start stop repressing those parts of himself.

Only then did Remus pop out, finally able to be recognized for something, and got seen.

Wrath, Jealousy, Regret, and every mystery of Orange? Yeah, this will be a tricky one. We haven't seen Orange on screen just yet, so this is heavily theoretical territory.

Basing everything of Orange on all the random theories I've collected in my lil theory hoard of him.

First off: Wrath relates to anger (it's literally defined as 'extreme anger'). Among that, I believe it can also relate to Righteous Anger. Both are 100% important for humans to have. Wrath, both repressed and expressed, is just as needed as any other feeling or emotion. You're going to feel angry when you're hurt or upset. You'll feel angry or mad when you've been wrong, or at least when you feel like you've been wronged. When you've been mistreated or shunned, there'll be angry. In the case of Thomas, and my fellow queers/minorities, there is the feeling of Righteous Anger. Not righteous in a religious sense/context, but in a sort of vengeful way.

When you've been mistreated for things you cannot change about yourself, you are angry and want Justice. Who are they to say such things about you? To assume this and that? They hurt you, so you want Justice. Sometimes, this can come in the form of vengefulness.

Aka: Karma.

Jealousy? You most often get angry when you get jealous of someone or something. You want to have what they have. You should have or be what they have or who they are. You want that career, that attention, that romantic partner, that family life, that friend, that house or car, etc. It's important to pay attention to that Jealousy, and to see what you really want. Chances are it's more than just wanting something of someone else's. Jealousy is what I believe to be a form of anger.

Regret? This can be more of anger directed at yourself. Guilt. Shame. Regret. You can be angry with yourself for doing or saying something dumb (or that you think is dumb). Why would you do that thing? You hurt that person; now look at the mess you've created. Why would you do that/say that? Why, why, why?

^Regret is important. It's a form of Shame and Guilt unlike any other. Regret also comes from your sense of Morality, and it can be a result of Anxiety.

And all those things I've said for Orange? They're all equally important things Thomas could learn and realize.

Only then, when he finally realizes whatever Orange represents, will we see Orange.

Overall: the Darks are not seen by us until they're seen by Thomas. They remain invisible to us, though they're still there. They're known to us once they're known to Thomas.

And Thomas still has some learning to do.

-=-=-=-=-

D. The Neutral Side & His Flickering Visibility

The Neutrals: Virgil

Virgil represents Anxiety. There's already a two-part episode entirely about him and his role (AA, part I & II). There are many parts to Anxiety, as we've seen. He's a former Dark, a current Light (as far as it's somewhat implied), and a definite Neutral. He's a bit in-between the black-and-white imaginary for the Lights and the Darks. He's both sides and neither of them at the same time.

And how does this affect his visiblity?

Well... it does and it doesn't.

The defining factor of being seen or unseen is Thomas himself.

Virgil is first seen, assumingly as a Dark, in the third SaSi episode (Taking on ANXIETY [TOA]). He goes through his arc and (also assumingly) becomes a Light during AA (parts I & II).

Going back to TOA: Thomas was already aware of his Anxiety, to some extent. Virgil popped in, scared Thomas (lmao), and Thomas immediately recognizes him for who he is. He recognizes his Anxiety; Virgil's no one new. However, at that point, Thomas recognized Virgil as a somewhat obsessive Anxiety. An overbearing Anxiety. Something only there to be negative and annoying.

This, of course, changed as the series progressed. Not the point, though.

He is seen because he is already known. BUT! He was seen as a Dark because that's how he was known.

He is then seen as a Light because that's how he becomes known as.

He never once, to Thomas, is seen or known as a Neutral.

This is important. Virgil is already seen. Then he is seen again, in a different spotlight. But he still isn't seen.

It's almost like his visibility shifts and changes, almost like a flickering streetlight. Like a transparent png file, he isn't all there. Not yet, anyway.

Virgil isn't entirely seen until Thomas recognizes and realizes him as a Neutral Side. As far as I know, that hasn't happened quite yet. Perhaps, with the coming days of Orange, he will be seen then.

And only then will he be seen in his entirety.

*Side Note: I cannot articulate clearly of what I mean exactly about the 'flickering visibility' yet. Brain ain't got the braincells for that today. May revisit and expand on this later.

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