#welcome to WORDPLAY HELL

[serendertothesquad]

Seren's Studies: The Odd Squad UK Trailer

Well, 8 days after my birthday really ain't bad for a belated gift. At this point I'll take what I can get.

Even if it means I have to crawl out of sleep to do it.

*deep sigh*

So you might be thinking, "Hold on, we got a new trailer?" And to that I say yes. Yes we did. PBS grew enough balls to actually give Odd Squad some love during a programming initiative that has absolutely nothing to do with it. And they put it on Vimeo, apparently, which puts all the audition videos that have been unearthed (for OSUK, OSMU, and Odd Squad) in an entirely new light.

But wah wah wah, you didn't come here to read my ding-dong ramblings. You came here to watch me be the biggest loser to ever lose at losing and dissect a 30-second trailer on a weekend. You know how movie trailers stuff all the important bits about a movie into 30 seconds? This is the telly equivalent.

Below the break, I'm going to shred this trailer to pieces, scream, cry, and of course, analyze. Come join me, if you dare.

So I'm going to reiterate a point I made in the Seren's Studies essay for the gadget competition video in regards to Ozzie, in that he's wearing an outfit that looks like it belongs to some kind of Flight department. (And yes, my headcanon about there being a boat that can travel in the sky shall remain strong in spite of this trailer. Whether it will be shot down like a cannonball through a boat that can travel in the sky remains to be seen.)

But anyway. We have him carrying a box (transferring departments?), what looks to be some kind of agent in the back (Security?), and what looks to me like an old Nissan logo against a map (of the UK? yes, of the UK, duh). Off to a hell of a start here.

The trailer doesn't give us the name of this girl -- which is odd, considering she's one of the protagonists -- but just as a refresher: this is Orli, who is from the Canadian side of the Niagara Falls (because of course) and transfers to the UK precinct in order to help with rising oddness rates. My guess is that, while Ozzie transfers from departments, Orli will transfer from precincts. Essentially, she's there to help Americans like myself (and also children, and also parents) understand British terms and culture. Which is fine, because otherwise kids would understand jack about how the United Kingdom does things beyond what's represented in media.

And we have a look at our first villainess! This is The Trifler, named after a British dessert and armed with the power to turn things into...well yeah, trifles. If you've been keeping up with the news, then you're probably aware that a BTS photo of her was found last year when OSUK was getting off the ground. Now, we have her in an official capacity!

I will say that I love the wordplay used here. Combining the British and American definitions of the word "trifle" into a badass introductory phrase is absolutely beautiful and I want more of it.

Haha lol shot from the press release big funy now laugh.

...Wait, hold on, does that mean the image used for the press release was a BTS photo? Because this sure as hell isn't the same angle.

Oh my God.

Not my absolute dumb ass thinking the context of this scene was a welcome party for Orli, only for the celebration to be for a fucking movie opening that got the attention of local news outlets and Eric Stonestreet.

...Okay, the telephone box is great too, and if there's not another Doctor Who reference they can yote in there then we riot, but I- a fucking opening of a movie?

...

Hold on, I'm noticing the Odd Squad logo on the popcorn and the cup.

This is Odd Squad: The Movie opening in the UK, isn't it.

Ah yes. Because I sure would fuckin' love to relive the joy I had when the "Odd Beginnings" two-parter decided to make the movie an in-universe piece of media. Look, I me- you guys had to be there when I recorded the Seren Reacts video. I was taken aback. I nearly fell off the bed. I was tempted to go to the neighbors and sit on their picnic table and cry. And that was when the COVID pandemic was a new thing!

And now I get to experience the hell all over again, four years later, when the pandemic is (largely) over and I'm in my mid-20s.

Look, if they're keen on torturing me like this, then that's how you really know it's a return to form. All they need to do is drop the word "serendipity" somewhere in there and I'll launch myself off the cliff and into the water and hopefully not on a pointy rock.

Normally I'd say how happy I am to see the tubes again after they got one dedicated episode and a handful of appearances and mentions besides that in Season 3, but..."Down the Tubes" is one of my favorite episodes for sleep-talking Oswald alone. And in Season 3, my total count for favorite episodes I can count on only one hand.

Worth noting, though, that in addition to the UK Headquarters being located in an abandoned train station, the tubes are named after the London Underground. Because...y'know, the Tube, and...yeah, they couldn't pass that pun up because they need Britain money somehow.

See, this is how you can tell I'm an Odd Squad veteran.

I can, with about 90% accuracy, pinpoint the context of a scene only seen by few. For example, I can tell you that this is Orli fighting with a woman over tour bus tickets by playing RPS. Because fuck her American money, American money does not net you tour bus tickets to tour the UK and...uh...well, I don't know if Ozzie has any pounds to buy any.

Ah? Aaaaaaaaaahh? Man, I'm good!

Unless Oddmented Reality had some (and please don't ask me, I've never played it), we've now had flying books in every season bar Season 2.

Honestly, that's a sin.

If this means the return of cold opens, then bless them.

It's 12 episodes with 11-minute time limits, though, so I'm a little wary...but bless them. Season 3 had only a select few before they laughed and tossed the concept out, so this is a good return to form.

Also, this is hella good camera work.

I'm...at least inclined to believe this is Ozzie attempting to boost workplace morale by getting a few agents-in-training to cheer.

Which is great, but I'm just thinking of Olympia asking Otis how he feels about his cheerleading skills and and him telling her they're perfect. It works, because Ozzie kinda looks like Otis!

Hey, hey, you guys remember aaaaaaaall the way back in "Zero Effect" where they had that shot of the agents cheering?

You guys also remember the last episode of OddTube S1?

This is like a mishymashy of that and it is glorious.

Also, our first look at the girl who is, by every sense, part of the Flight department. And Onom, even though he got a mention in the gadget-making competition video.

A few folks were asking about this, so I feel the need to clarify that this is a thing in the Oddverse that has been done numerous times before, especially in the first two seasons. You don't wanna blow 10 seconds of airtime on having two agents find the nearest tube entrance, let 'em phase through the floor.

'Tis magic, baby.

I can also predict, with about 70% accuracy, how the OSUK premiere is gonna go.

...

It's gonna end with Ozzie being transferred/promoted/demoted to the Investigation department, isn't it.

Look, the franchise's timeline is a bitch and scares all the neuroscience people at Harvard Medical School, but I did this before with a simple Season 3 trailer and I got a fair bit of it right. When a few OSUK episode titles and synopses come out, then we'll see if I'm gonna reach for the stars or fall hard on my ass.

Okay, I'm inclined to take the logic applied to New York City and apply it here, in that it's too much money and effort and time to edit every piece of signage here into a Shmumber-fied equivalent...

But that's a fucking McDonald's ad up there near the top, and let's be honest, that's one of the most gobsmacking things about the whole damn trailer. We already have a Burger King replacement, so having a McShmumber's is absolutely not out of the question.

(Also, that meal deal is $5 USD. If you're an American, I don't need to explain why this makes me more irrationally angry than it should.)

Besides that, Orli, this is a one-way, two-lane (with possible merger) street, which can absolutely be seen in areas like this in the United States and I don't know why I'm bringing this up since agents cannot and have not been automotively inclined.

"No, that's not odd. It's Britain."

Dumb lil' American I am (who is, in fact, aware how British people drive), but I gave a visceral cough at this line. This is the kind of shit OSMU should have gotten, and failed to deliver.

That aside, though, Ozzie has a bit of a different icon on his shirt now. It's either the London Bridge or a black H, and I know Fergie would cry her eyes out looking at it, bless her soul.

"I'm blue! And if I were green I would die! If I were green I would die, if I were green I would die, if-"

Okay, okay, I had to get that out of the way. I'm sorry. I'm never sorry.

The smartwatches were also something seen in BTS photos back when OSUK was first announced to be a thing. Still running on that Apple technology and crushing creativity.

Perhaps the best sleep paralysis demon I've seen since Yui in the Precure All-Stars F movie.

All right, I'm starting to see the massive differences between this Headquarters and the Headquarters of yore. Keyholes, the blue thing meant to be a simpler copy of the metallic circle structure, the...I mean it do be fuckin' big...

Also, we got our first look at a moving breathing Chef O, who's on promotional material at the very least but isn't exactly a main character. Sort of like what Oksana was: a side character.

Hey, it could be worse. It could be a Ginormouse coming to eat you up for lunch.

(For the non-believers: this is the Oddverse. I'm not explaining shit.)

I see somewhere in the crew of this show we have a boomer who still believes in the usage of the digital camera in the year of our Lord 2024.

No, but seriously. It wasn't believable in 2014 when Otto owned one, and it's less believable now. I've been more frustrated about this than about the badge phones, because there's only so much ironic low-tech stuff I can take before I drop everything and leave.

I was gonna write a joke about how they used to feed cocaine to mice in the 80s for anti-drug PSAs, but someone apparently wrote it for me. Which, unsurprisingly, is not the first time that's happened.

That's on you for not being Odd Squad-savvy.

All of you.

Yes, even Captain O.

-------------------------------------

And that's it. A short trailer, but a hell of a goodie. I'm honestly hyped for this return to form, especially as we approach the franchise's 10th anniversary. Hopefully, the crew has at least learned from its mistakes with Odd Squad Mobile Unit, and will make the most out of these 12 episodes.

And because even this show isn't immune to the curse: if you like what you see here and want more episodes to come beyond the 12 we're getting, watch the ever-loving hell out of this show. Legally, of course. Boost its ratings. The crew is definitely up for making more.

...And donate to your local PBS station if you got a Lincoln or two lyin' around. That too.

Thanks for reading. If you want to view the trailer for yourself, you can do so here:

[smurphyse]

Ten Minutes To Curtain | Spencer Reid

Series Masterlist | Smurph's Masterlist

Part 19 of Room 405

Warnings: angst, tension, awkwardness

Summary: Spencer and Hotch head to the Nocturne to talk to Charlie... meanwhile you're getting ready backstage.

Spencer shifted uncomfortably as Hotch drove them to the Nocturne, tugging at his collar even though he’d unbuttoned the top few like you’d asked him to do.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Hotch snapped after a while, glaring at his constant adjusting.

“I’m nervous, I guess,” Spencer shrugged, but he tugged at his sleeves under his blazer. “You and Mr. Arends both said this woman is… angry and hates cops.”

“Good thing you don’t look like a cop,” Hotch offered, and now it was Spencer’s turn to glare. 

When they pulled into the parking lot of the Nocturne, it was already bustling with people and energy and it was only eight thirty. Hotch wanted to be early so Mrs. Arends couldn't sneak out when she found out they were coming. 

Men and women, customers and performers alike, milled about outside, smoking cigarettes and hanging out in elaborate outfits. Hotch had worn a sportcoat and dark slacks that were tighter than he'd wear normally, trying to blend in. Spencer was glad you'd given him some direction on what to wear as he didn't look much different from the rich clientele that waited outside. He'd worn one of his nicer watches and styled his hair just to try and fit in. 

He eyed the dancing neon sign as he had the night they found the body in the alley. Her pink leg kicked in and out as it had months ago when he first confronted you about having a husband. It felt like years now. 

They went in the front door and down a hallway that led to another door. It was dark, lit with dim fairy lights and old burlesque pictures lining the walls. Spencer tried to keep his eyes forward and not gawk at the half naked women behind the frames, but he couldn't help but think how some of those outfits might look on you. 

When they entered the next hallway, a brightly lit booth sat at one end. The woman behind the counter wore sultry makeup, dark dusted eyelids and deep plum lipstick with teased blonde curly hair. She was as scantily clad as the women in the pictures, in a pointed black bra and garter belt, but Spencer couldn't see much below that. 

"Welcome to the Nocturne," she said sweetly with a dramatic flourish of her lace gloved hand. She waved it until her palm reached out, curling her fingers in a beckoning motion, "Entry fee, fifty dollars, gentlemen."

"Fifty?" Hotch scoffed, raising an eyebrow at her. 

The woman waved her hand to a sign on the edge of the booth that read, Fifty Bucks! No ifs ands or… with a graphic of a woman's ample backside to finish off the wordplay.

They flashed one another an uncomfortable look and dug through their pockets for their respective wallets. They fished out fifty bucks and set the bills in her open palm. She brought the money up to sniff it, smirking at them over the bundle of cash. Hitting a button under the booth, the door to the right of it popped open. 

"Remember, boys," she called as they went toward it, "no touching unless you're willing to pay for the privilege."

Spencer let out an awkward breath and followed Hotch through the doorway and into yet another hall. This time there was no door blocking them from the sights inside, just a frame with music and lights emanating at the end. 

It was like they stepped into a den of sin. 

Velvet lined the walls, sultry purple booths and tablecloths scattered around the packed lounge on a Saturday night. The place was lit with dimmed fairy lights, the stage still dark, with a bar to one side that was backed by large mirrors. 

Waitresses in sky high heels and waiters in sleek oxfords wandered the lounge, dressed in…not much and leaning provocatively as they gladly took tips and slipped them into private places. Hotch and Spencer stood, starstruck, as their eyes struggled to make sense when both were so far out of their elements. 

Drag queens, drag kings, dancers and musicians all walked past them in sparkly outfits and ridiculous shoes while clients lounged about handing out cash and taking drinks. Spencer recognized a few CEOs, senators, and to his surprise an FBI agent or two among the throng of people.

It was like a circus in here, a ridiculously rich and expensive circus, but a circus nonetheless. 

"You two don't belong here," a dark voice came from behind, making both of them turn toward the bar. 

A tall drag queen in a bright green feathered robe lounged on one of the stools, sipping from a sparkling martini glass. Her slick lipstick stained the side as she smirked and set it down. Her bright orange hair was piled high on her head, curls trailing down to frame her pretty face. 

Her long legs were crossed as she leaned back on the bar, neon green platforms bobbing up and down as she watched them. She beckoned them with a finger, "How can I help you, gentlemen?"

"I'm Aaron," Hotch said smoothly, holding out a hand for her to take. She did, and he brought it up to his lips to kiss the back of her knuckles. 

When he let her go, Spencer decided on a wave. You were the only person he really liked to touch. Hotch waved a hand at him, "This is Spencer, and you are?"

"Miss Fierce," she smiled brightly, but she made no move to stand. "I'm the makeup artist here."

"We have a meeting with Mr. Arends," Hotch told her, "We're a little early, but we'd like to speak with him."

She looked off toward her right and shouted, "Daddy!"

When they turned, Charlie Arends stood up sharply from behind the bar holding a case of wine. His face went red when he spotted Spencer and Hotch, but he came quickly around the counter and set the wine down. 

Spencer had expected him to be in some sort of costume, but instead he wore a tight shirt and jeans with sneakers. His muscles were insane, but now that Spencer knew this to be a kind and sensitive bear of a man, he didn't feel intimidated by it much in the way he wasn't intimidated by Morgan anymore. 

Charlie flashed them a crooked grin and leaned on the counter toward Miss Fierce. He put his chin in his hand and smiled at her, "Trust me, these two aren't good candidates for sugar daddies."

"Oh," she tutted, waving an acrylic nail at him, "why would I need them when I have you?"

She stood on those towering platforms a head over even Charlie, leaned down and pressed her lacquer lined lips to his for a quick second before pulling away. Miss Fierce waved her glass at them as she passed, purposely walking between them so she could flash a wink and say, "Play nice, boys."

"Don't take it personally," Charlie chuckled as he stuffed his hands in his pockets, "she flirts with everyone."

"She's…sweet," Hotch smiled, looking off in the direction Miss Fierce had gone, down a hall and up some spiral stairs. 

"You guys are early." Charlie's smile turned into a twitchy grimace. He was nervous, that much was obvious. "I haven't seen my wife all day, so I haven't told her you were coming."

"Is she here?"

"Yeah, yeah," Charlie nodded, pointing off toward the spiral stars case, "Miss Fierce told me she's getting ready up behind the stage. The performers all have vanities back there."

"Shall we?" Spencer asked, but Charlie blanched. 

"I'm gonna wait until after her set…" he trailed off awkwardly. "She likes to step on my toes when she's mad at me, and if she knows you're here she's gonna be pissed. Best to have witnesses."

Spencer tugged at his collar, his eyes going wide when he noticed two women dressed in sparkly barely-there underwear smiling at him. They waved at him and an embarrassed blush ripped across his cheek. 

"What's up with you, doc?" Charlie asked when he noticed them. The girls let out playful yelps and dashed back up the stairs at Charlie's glare. 

Spencer cleared his throat awkwardly when Charlie turned back his way, "I'm…uh, highly uncomfortable."

Charlie gave Hotch an exasperated look and waved an upset hand at Spencer, "She's gonna eat him alive!"

Hotch set his own hand on Spencer's shoulder, "Charlie, it'll be fine. Just go do your set and we'll be here when you and your wife are done."

Charlie grumbled to himself and snatched the wine case from the counter, "I gotta get ready anyways. Don't get too excited by the girls, my wife is as protective of them as our kids."

"I have a girlfriend…" Spencer trailed off awkwardly as Charlie stomped away. 

Hotch huffed a laugh and steered Spencer toward the thick of the lounge. Smoke and shimmering lights flooded over them as they made their way to the center crowd, a lone table for two open for them. 

A girl in pink underwear scooted up on roller skates and deposited two whiskey tumblers on the table. She popped a large bubble from the gum in her mouth that matched her hair color, holding her hand out for a tip.

"We didn't order these," Spencer said slowly, but she shook her hand and stuck it out further expectantly. 

"Courtesy of Miss Fierce," she squeaked cheerfully, popping her gum again. "Not courtesy of me. Tip your waitresses, folks."

She pointed to a metal 50s style sign that reiterated her statement, so Spencer handed over a ten as it was the smallest bill he had. 

"Knew you cuties were good for somethin'!" she said, smiling wide and stuffing his cash in her bra, "Enjoy the show!"

Spencer cocked a brow at Hotch, who took the glass and a large pull on it, so he did the same. It was a sweet bourbon, just a hint of spice. Miss Fierce picked a perfect drink. 

He settled into the soft velvet backed chair, a perfect view of the stage in front of him. The presenter's voice rang out above the crowds in a 20s style circus MC.

"Ten minutes to curtain, friends and fiends��� get your drinks now to get your kicks soon."

Spencer took another drink. It was going to be a long night. 

---------------------

You dusted body glitter over your breasts as you sat in front of your vanity. They were nearly spilling out of your bra with the bit of pregnancy weight you'd gained. You could have smacked yourself for stupidly thinking it was your period after four pregnancies and five kids. 

You were still nervous to tell Spencer, and you hadn't seen Charlie all day, so you were still holding onto your secret. It ate at your insides and made you feel sick, but you hoped dancing would take some of that away as it usually did. 

You loved performing. Even after your original shame from your origins as a stripper and call girl, you loved it. It gave you a chance to let go, your only outlet before you met Spencer. 

"Mmmm," Miss Fierce hummed as she came up the spiral stairs, her large platforms clomping and her feathered robe flowing gracefully behind her. "There's some handsome men out there tonight, Momma."

"Any eligible bachelors?" you crooned sweetly as you watched her come up behind you in the mirror. 

"There's a sweet one with puppy dog eyes you could eat up," she purred, setting her hands on your shoulders and smirking at your reflection. 

You reached up your little glitter brush and dusted her nose with it, "I'm taken lady, there's only one pair of puppy dog eyes for me."

"He the reason for those bruises on your neck?" Tessa called as Miss Fierce swatted your brush away and plopped into the seat next to you. 

"Yeah, and what about those tits you got all of a sudden?" Fierce smirked, waving a hand at your swollen bosom. "You get a boob job we don't know about?"

"Hey," you scolded playfully, trying and failing to cover them with your hand. "I've had five kids hanging off these things, of course they're big."

"That's why I'm glad mine are fake," one of the other drag queens laughed, shaking her silicone chest. "I can change the size any time I want."

You all laughed as the announcer Marty, a tattooed man with a slick handlebar mustache, called out for the ten minute curtain. The crowd roared with excitement, amping you and the other performers up. 

Charlie came up behind you in just his pants as he tugged on the top of his costume, kissing your cheek. He sat down next to you and pulled on his dancing shoes as Tessa leaned over and smiled. 

"Daddy, did you knock Momma up again? We're in a fit over her new boobs."

Charlie looked up sharply, his gaze landing on your breasts. He squinted at you but he shook his head, "Nah, we haven't shared a bottle of wine in a while."

"Shame," Miss Fierce frowned, twirling a makeup brush in her hand, "you two make such pretty babies."

Charlie looked rushed as he finished getting ready, so you turned in your seat and leaned your elbows on your knees. Tapping his forehead with your finger, you smiled softly when Charlie finally met your gaze. 

"You okay?" 

Charlie swallowed thickly like he did when he was nervous, but he flashed you a smile back, "Yeah, baby. Just got distracted."

"I told you, puppy dog eyes out there is cute," Miss Fierce crooned, and Charlie blanched. 

He stood quickly and held out his hand for you, "C'mon, they're waiting for us."

You took his hand, watching him with concern. He led you over to the stage, the large red velvet curtain waiting to be pulled up so you could be presented. 

You squeezed Charlie's hand, and he gave you a small smile as he squeezed back. You wanted to tell him about the baby right then and there, but you weren't sure what his reaction was going to be since it wasn't his. And you had work to do. 

"Do you need Manny to step in?" you asked, talking about his backup dancer. 

"No, this is our number, baby," he said with a prideful grin. "Our song."

"Okay," you hummed, deciding you'd press him on it later. "Let's make rich men spend some money."

Charlie chuckled lightly and nodded, "Let's do it."

Marty's voice echoed out, promoting a round of yells and table pounding in the crowd's excitement. 

"And now, the moment you've all been waiting for…"

Notes: oooohhhhh... you guys are not prepared.... How do you think Spencer and Sweetheart are going to react when they notice eachother in the Nocturne??

CM Taglist:

@thedancingcostumeyoungadult @muffin-cup @simplyparker @spencerreidsmommy @hotchandspencearedilfs @gspenc @kbakery @nomajdetective @givemeth @hoshihiime @halloween-is-my-nationality @reidselle @thisiscalmanditsdoctorreid @dreatine @thebloomingeagle @fortheloveofwonderland @theforgottenwinter @parkerreidnorth @reidselle @randomhoex @scargarcia-magshotchner @stitchwrites @pygmygoat-bicyclehelmet @cle13 @aysixdy @elhotchner @directioner5life @elhotchner @loveeee2134 @preciousbabypeter @la-stuffs @stories-you-wont-hear @hotchlover @fortheloveofwonderland @lokiandhisdagger @bellanutellababyyy @dark-night-sky-99 @straightforbuckybutgayfornatasha @maltamurdock @charelletjee @kansas-reid @zephyrmonkey @spencer-reid-wonderland @spencersprettyslut @im-sure-its-fine @tvdstelenaforever @teddylupintonks  @lilibet261 @kneelforloki @dirtytissuebox @almostgenerallyalways @whovian378 @cl0udyqu33n @thegettingbyp2 @averagestudent03 @the-sun-died-out @squishycalumxo 

Room 405 Taglist:

@rexorangecouny @nomajdetective @halloween-is-my-nationality @spenciesprincess @hoely-scripture @gspenc @princesssmooshie @loveeee2134 @reidslefteyebrow @this-is-doctor-and-its-calm @hotchandspencearedilfs @barbietiingz @riverjane-d @2-gay-possums-in-a-trench-coat @simplyparker @thebloomingeagle @pygmygoat-bicyclehelmet @fangirling-galore @randomhoex @drspencerreid80 @kbakery@fortheloveofwonderland @athenabrown @yukachankyu @matthew-gray-gubler-lover @baciamisottolalucedicentostelle @athenabrown @theforgottenwinter @parkerreidnorth @elhotchner

[bapydemonprincess]

So we all universally agree Seb LOVES his Safety Blanket Pun "One Hell of a Butler", and its so so obvious even in canon there's the servants, the young master and others that have been around him more than once that are obviously sick and tired of it.

...HOWEVER

What if suddenly Sebastian stopped for like... a week or two? What if he didn't say it at all or didn't say it the same?

"Oh, my, you're so amazing, well done!" "Ah, thank you for the compliments but I'm .. just a lowly servant 😊"

"You made all these preparations yourself, amazing!" "I.. do what I can as merely a butler. 😌"

"You're the most elegant, efficient butler I've ever seen!" "You flatter me... but I'm just doing my best. 🙂"

....

The servants start to get.. annoyed.. at this. This sudden change is so... so.. WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON??? It feels wrong...

And so, suddenly, without a word to each other on it, they start picking up the.. slack.

"Ah, this wine is lovely, and thank you miss!" "O-Oh you're welcome, miss. J-just doin' my job, I am.. A-as one 'ell of a maid! 🙈"

"My the Phantomhive Gardens are astonishingly beautiful! You're very diligent for a young man in your position!" "Aw thank you!! I try my best and um, I'm... just one hell of a gardener, I guess! 😄"

"This donburi stuff is quite good, my compliments!" "Heh, well jus' doin' my job, y'know! As one hell of a chef, haha! 😁"

...

"Earl Phantomhive, this night has been magnificent. You've pulled off an event tonight that will likely be remembered for years! How does one so young continue to accomplish such feats?"

"Well, I'll admit I have had my hands full covering such a heavy burden as Early Phantomhive as well as running a toy company, too.. But at the end of the day, when things do go this smoothly, I'd like to think it comes down to the fact that I've become one hell of an earl at this point. 😈"

"....Haha! Oh hahaha, "one hell of an earl", my goodness! Such rousing humor to boot! Hahaha.. Where'd you get such gall, my lord?? Honestly, we could use more of that kind of silly riffraff wordplay around here, if you ask me!"

"...Hmph, I agree.. And I suppose it's merely something I.. overheard once and thought I'd try picking up."

"Well, here's to hoping it catches on!"

...

Sebastian smiles to himself when he leaves to the kitchen to start cleaning up, a funny little warmth brewing in him every time these humans of his do that, actually.

[theomnicode]

Burden of prophetic sight

I'm checking out our national hymns and shit because it's our national day in 3 days and all of a fucking sudden, I'm punched in the gut about the knowledge of what could have scared Psykos so fucking badly that she refused to talk about and she wanted to stop remembering it and she looked like death warmed over in webcomic.

What would be the worst thing you could see in the future? To you personally and not distantly enough to just ignore if it's too impersonal and wanting to forget it?

What would evoke your survival instincts down to the core in effort to prevent it from happening?

Your own inevitable death and your worst fears.

That is the burden of possessing the ability to see to the future. To see not just your own death, but also the death of everyone else and your loved ones.

She probably saw her own death at Tatsumaki's hands here or Fubuki's death. Or both.

And in the manga...I wonder if it's the same but this time, false memory that were implanted to her head. Or she saw her own demise in the hands of the Tsukuyomi group.

Lady shibabawa died after she had looked into the crystal ball and predicted Earth was in danger, because she took on a cough drop after that and then choked on it, but was still able to write down the prophecy.

Somehow. Not likely.

I think...she made her own prophecy to come true. Or that she wanted to avoid a far worse fate because the prophecy scared her so and she wanted to go out on her own terms because she was already old. She even had assistants around who would've made sure that she'd get help upon seeing she was choking. But that did not apparently happen and they just...let her choke and write her message.

So what is the timeline when she made that prophecy again?

The moment when Saitama realized that he had started caring about potential casualties again. That he would do anything in his power to prevent it from happening.

(haha ominous moon haha)

When the sky was still dark with clouds during daytime.

(Saitama does not consciously even remember Satoru, because he never sees his full face I bet. And Satoru does not remember Saitama back from school because Saitama does not have hair. But the subconscious does.)

(Inb4 Saitama and Satoru used to date too, like Psykos and Fubuki have implied relationship.)

(Purple colour scheme is often used to depict evil in japanese anime, like sasuke's curse mark had evil purple aura on it, but also: "As in the West, purple stands for royalty in Japanese culture. It is also considered the color of warriors, symbolizing strength. Purple flowers are very popular too" So you could say that Saitama gets strenght to protect in that scene from his conviction to care.)

--

I thought of this because my SO shared with me his thoughts about:

Michael Hartnett's poem of Sibelius in Silence.

Irish drunk and disorderly writer writes from Finland and about himself and sibelius at the same time hartnett is Irish but grew up in England, speaks English and never felt welcome among the Irish irish was not his mother tongue Sibelius was a Finn but grew up in Sweden, spoke Swedish, never felt welcome among Finns… both were alcoholics who drank themselves to death and hartnett foresaw his own death and equated it with the death of Sibelius in that poem there's nothing left but hands shaking with drunkenness, no swans of hell, no sketches (luonnotar, virgin of air, this is a wordplay), no compositions

(The black swan of tuonela reference and Saivo-lake, tuonela as concept meaning both heaven/hell, the afterlife)

"vodka ebbs in tremors from my hand" is fucking brilliant that part of yourself that hasn't disappeared yet, no matter how ethereal, you still feel it when it's still there despite everything. OR ether (aether) no matter how puffed up you are, yeah, I'm still there, yeah, hic wakes up at night at odd hours because genius is a burden and inspiration comes at any moment and voila, finlandian magic is just out of thin air OR can't sleep because drunken insanity ruins your sleep completely and solves the problem by pulling out a bottle of Finlandia

Me: or did he get his strength from the concept of finlandia that hasn't left him yet? SO: or the fact that it listens to finlandia, if you think from hartnet's point of view yeah me: what did he want the anthem to represent SO: you can think of it that way but that whole last verse is a double-meaning at the same time that it hasn't lost itself and is still creating art which was true for both of them. and at the same time that he has completely lost himself to alcoholism and is nothing more than that which was also true for both of them fucking brilliant and rough as fuck ;_;

SO: I suppose that being undead there's not much to life, a soul is needed for loving, feeling

Funnily enough, my SO also pointed out that Saitama's dream being a forewarning of Saitama losing himself, things that are important to him and his being when I said that he prolly foresaw the loss of his self and people who were important to him like Genos, is akin to conspiracy theory and ahaha...this personality type has a tendency to get caught up in conspiracy theories.

I mean, I can pull out outrageous meta which sound like conspiracy theories (like this one) out of thin air. Woosh.

Because cognitive bias is seeking out patterns even when there is none. xd

(I swear I'm just doing this for fun and not seeking out if there is a hidden conspiracy theory. I am making up shit though)

--

Unfortunately, how does this relates to Saitama?

Chances are, he has already intuitively foreseen his own death, at some subconscious level. Because he started to care again. Since he knows himself well enough that he would know that if he started to care about people again to the degree that he now cares for Genos, he would sacrifice himself for them, because of his caring nature and not having any self-worth.

(Thanks Murata-sensei, I can now see the tired, dark bottom eyelids that are only more pronounced in versus Garou.)

(Ugh now I'm crying again)

(The wounded healer archetype is to be self-sacrificial.)

Or that he will come to consciously see his own demise/fears at some point, when his third eye that is referenced to exist in the Orochi fight opens.

(I bet we will revisit the demise of Orochi as well....thanks Murata-sensei for the hint...)

Saitama is willfull. But what he is susceptible to doing is chasing dopamine highs and addictions. Adrenaline. Gambling. Spontaneously buying some weird shit. Indulging himself with his favourite foods. Because depressed people often are susceptible to doing that stuff because of dopamine deficiency to get dopamine fix.

Including binge drinking alchohol.

Fate can be changed though, due to intervention. Just like Saitama is intervening on Psykos' fate.

But yea, turning to alchoholism would probably be the way for Saitama to try and forget if say, he somehow accidentally managed to kill Genos, if Genos happened to be say, not in complete control of his faculties. Saitama is motivated to forget all sorts of bad stuff even at the cognitive level.

Or hell, feeling guilt over pushing Genos into being a bloody hero, like how Genos decided to confront Awakened Garou while only being a torso. Or worse, compelling him to be self-sacrificial and heroic because of his divine power.

--

One thing for sure though, Saitama seems to be a person who has the capacity of changing the fate of people around him.

Because conveniently, prophecies can't be trusted. But they sure can become self-fulfilling.

[suhjihanma]

Update

Well, this is a long time, no see type of post.

It’s been months since I’ve been on here and due to creator’s block, it’s been hard. From lurking here from time to time, I once again say my thanks to those who continue to support and comment my work. I know my descriptions, characteristics, and settings don’t be the best in my limited wordplay but, at least I try my best with my limits and emerge from my personal box.

You all mean so much to me.

It’s been truly a moment since I wrote something and I want to get back into the groove of things. To become more creative in my work takes time for those who deal with mental illnesses but, in the end it greatly pays off. Everyday seems like a complete struggle, yet the passion for writing pieces never went away. Hell, it never went away since I was doing fanfics for the boy band group, B5 (for my black, millennial readers, if you know then, you know. Breeding5.com).

I’ll say that off topic conversation another day.

I’m starting to get back into writing for Jujutsu Kaisen again, along with trying to dabble into Haikyuu!! again as well. Like always, requests and suggestions are welcome here. Be it wholesome or raunchy, I’ll try to make it happen for you readers. Hopefully I’ll post a new fanfic after going to see the movie, “the end of evangelion” tonight.

Once again guys, it’s been hell for a couple of months but, I appreciate every single one of you.

Take care of yourselves. Be nasty. Also, safe.

-Mai.

[sparklyjojos]

Joker recaps [3/3]

[tw: mentioned csa, suicide, obvious-murder-case-related-deaths, questionable treatment of the trans character]

----

Before Ryuuguu reveals his solution to the case, he asks Kirika to explain the locked rooms first.

First, the Stage of Light surrounded by snow. While everyone assumed it’d been the murder scene, the Artist actually killed Ryousho and Fuumonji somewhere else, and later flung an axe and some frozen blood to the Scene from one of the towers. The ice was melted once the reflected sunlight hit the Stage of Light, and the blood with anticoagulants would flow around like it was fresh.

Second, how the Locked Room was filled with water. The murderer must have created a thin wall made of ice that separated the majority of the room from the part near the door, filled the bigger part with water, closed the door, and simply waited until the ice melted.

Ryuuguu interrupts Kirika as he wants to talk about who the Artist is before revealing the last few locked rooms (although he still has no clue about the head in a helmet).

The key to the case is a certain theme that showed up each time a body of a writer was discovered.

Flowing blood. A mandarin orange. The yellow Room of Judgment. A weeping fig. Water. An indigo carpet. Amethysts.

Red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, violet. The colors of the rainbow.

Like the rainbow, niji, contained in Nijikawa’s name.

Nijikawa killed seven other writers and himself, resulting in eight sacrifices. Even if his room was guarded, he could’ve just employ a simple psychological trick (a G.K. Chesterton trick, as Ryuuguu calls it), casually walked out, and the exhausted police officers would just think they hallucinated it, or fell asleep for a second and only dreamed about it.

What pushed Nijikawa Ryou to murder? It’s too late to discover the truth. The answer will forever remain in the shadows.

The curtain has fallen.

Everything ended.

--

--

The curtain was brought up once more.

--

“It was a magnificent case, Mr. Ryuuguu,” says someone from the dining hall’s entrance, and it’s only now that everyone notices the two men standing there. One is Tsukumo Juku, his long hair and sunglasses instantly recognizable, and the other is his assistant Hikimiya Yuuya.

Kirika asks just how long the two have been standing there listening.

“Since about five pages ago,” Juku answers.

“You’re going to investigate too?” a police officer asks him.

“Forgive me, but I cannot do that… since I’ve already solved this case.”

Juku then takes Nemu along and leaves for a few minutes to check a few places in Geneijo, and Hikimiya takes a moment in the library to count something in Dakushoin’s manuscript, but soon everyone gathers in the dining hall again.

Juku finally announces the Artist’s name: Satou Ichirou. One of the police officers thought to be dead in the case. Juku doesn’t explains anything just yet, instead saying that he’ll continue his reasoning after the meal.

Once the meal is done, Juku says Satou Ichirou was NOT the Artist, and while Juku’s very sorry to tarnish the name of the dead like that, he had to say it so he could observe everyone’s reactions to the news during the meal. This allowed him to make sure of the murderer’s identity.

The Artist isn’t any police officer, or any Geneijo employee, or detective, or Tae. It is someone already dead.

But before the reveal, Juku tells them that there was something that everyone missed. If you transcribe the first kanji of every murdered writer’s real name and put them in order of their deaths, you’ll get:

Ka-rei-naru-(h)o-tsura-kuno-tame-ni. “For the Great Downfall”. There should be a ‘bo’ instead of ‘ho’, but that was exactly what the symbolic dakuten was for.

As for who is the Artist... Nijikawa was unlikely to do a rainbow-themed crime, as he was likely colorblind, just like his daughter Megumi. The latter fact was easy to guess: just like it was noted in Dakushoin’s manuscript, Megumi looked at Wasserman’s innocent painting of a castle and saw a monster. Wasserman seems to have put a few secrets in his paintings that could be noticed only by a colorblind person like him… and anyone who would just happen to be always wearing sunglasses.

Juku shows everyone a suicide note signed by Nijikawa that was found in Tae’s room. The writer of the note shortly describes the crimes, claims that he wanted to poison either Miyama or Dakushoin but it went wrong, and that he didn’t kill Megumi. He wasn’t trying to fulfill the 30 elements at all. He recalls the event from when he was a child and his father, a mystery writer, murdered his wife in a drunken rage before his son’s eyes, and later fell from the stairs and died while attempting to chase the terrified child. Since then Nijikawa believed the mystery novelists were monsters desensitized to human death. He decided to infiltrate the ranks of mystery novelists and enact revenge. But soon he realized that he turned into his own father, and so chose eternal slumber.

But if we assume this note was really written by Nijikawa, then it shouldn’t be found in Tae’s room.

Everyone gathered is losing their patience a little, so Juku announces the name of the Artist:

Miyama Kaoru.

--

The note found in Miyama’s pocket said “boku mou TAErarenai”, but as far as Juku knows from reading the manuscript, Miyama only ever used the pronoun watashi. So even if it was written by Miyama, it wasn’t Miyama’s suicide note, but a fake one that she intended to put next to Nijikawa’s body.

Miyama’s death wasn’t suicide, but neither was it a murder. At the time of her death at 3 am, Miyama happened to be in the middle of arranging a scene of Nijikawa’s “suicide” for later, standing on a chair and tying a noose. She couldn’t have predicted that a sudden earthquake would make her lose balance in the most unfortunate way possible.

But before she died, Miyama still managed to arrange Dakushoin’s death: she put a thick sheet of ice on top of two taller statues, towels on top of that, and Dakushoin drugged with sleeping pills on top of that. The ice eventually melted, making Dakushoin fall and get impaled on another statue.

Nijikawa’s death, on the other hand, was simply suicide.

Megumi’s death was accidental. She slip and fell after being startled by… something (Juku carefully doesn’t elaborate, but Ryuuguu suspects that the ‘something’ may have been Shouri knocking on the door, and Juku doesn’t want the boy to blame himself.) She hit her head on the floor, and the impact made the flower pot fall off the shelf and hit her again. Since she broke her left wrist falling, she had to use her right hand to write the message.

As for that upside-down painting of Mother Mary, Miyama as a Christian just couldn’t help but make it look proper.

Since Miyama was good enough in baseball pitching to teach it to Shouri, it would also make her able to accurately fling the axe and frozen blood to the Light Stage.

Dakushoin brought attention to facts like that in his manuscript, almost like he knew and desperately wanted someone else to realize the truth. In fact, there was a random poem inserted after the scene of finding Megumi’s body, and the first syllables of each line made the sentence “ko-no-ka-ba-tsu-ha-shin-ji-tsuwo-tsu-ta-e-te-i-ru...”, “this Kabatsu [a shortened name of the manuscript] is conveying the truth”. Similarly, reading the names of each big chapter of the sadly unfinished manuscript revealed a message: “Han-nin-no-na-ma-e-ha” (“the name of the culprit is...”), proving that Dakushoin knew the truth.

The message was so well hidden that only someone specializing in reading the intention of a writer would be able to find it.

But wait! There’s more. Juku shows everyone the 99 cipher and points out a tiny line near one of the numbers. If you read the numbers left-right, top-down (so in the normal Western manner) and stop at the line, you’ll have read 82 numbers, exactly how many numbered subchapters there is in Dakushoin’s unfinished manuscript. The prologue had 4 subchapters, the 6 normal chapters after that had 13 subchapters each. Dakushoin probably wanted to write another ‘prologue’ and another chapter afterwards, which would bring the total of subchapters to 99. One for each number in the cipher.

If you write down the title of each subchapter in hiragana and pick the consecutive character the number in the 99 cipher points to, and also read it backwards, you’d get a message…

[missing part] Kare wo sodateta tokushuna kankyou ga kare wo shite renzokusatsujin he to hashirashimeta no de aru. Nijikawa no shi ha jisatsu. Ta no hankou ha kare naraba jyuubun ni ji(tsu)kou ga kanou de aru.

Translation:

[missing part] Unusual circumstances in which he grew up pushed him to serial killing. Nijikawa's death is suicide. If the other crimes were [commited by] him then this could be an accident.

Of course Dakushoin couldn’t know about Nijikawa Ryou’s future death – who he meant by ‘Nijikawa’ here was Nijikawa Megumi. He correctly assumed that Miyama would be able to kill everyone else but not the girl. He wasn’t that off on the ‘suicide’ part, since Megumi’s death was technically caused by her own actions. Dakushoin probably didn’t know about Miyama’s gender and so used the incorrect pronouns. If he had a chance to write the last 17 subchapters, their deciphered titles would probably directly accuse Miyama Kaoru.

--

But the case reaches much, much deeper than that. Dakushoin was smart, but wasn’t able to notice a certain astounding series of coincidences. The events of the case – the way Dakushoin wrote it, even – were all foreshadowed a thousand years ago in the famous work The Tale of Genji.

Out of 53 chapters of The Tale of Genji, each one’s title was somehow referenced inside Dakushoin’s manuscript. Some are more obvious (aoi, kirigirisu, sakaki…) and some are deeply convoluted worplays on details like what exactly the characters ate or what was the name of a random police officer’s girlfriend that was only ever mentioned once. [Juku spends entire pages going through FIFTY THREE CHAPTER NAMES and explaining whatever horrible pun is related to it. It’s kinda amazing.]

When everyone is still stunned, Juku says that from this moment on even he’s not sure of his reasoning, but he believes he knows the truth. He turns to Teru and asks:

“Mrs. Mamiya, wouldn’t Miyama Kaoru happen to be your and Kirigirisu Tarou’s child? Or should I say, your and Hirai Genji’s.”

Teru can’t deny that. She guessed that Kirigirisu was her Genji, but decided to keep quiet. Hirai Tarou admits he knew about Miyama’s true identity too, but couldn’t recognize his brother after all these years.

Since the man was named Genji, then he obviously could name his child Kaoru, just like the legendary Genji’s child was called. The pen name ‘Miyama’ is fairly close to ‘Mamiya’ as well, as if intentionally chosen. Miyama apparently knew the identity of her mother. After Genji and Teru split, they left the baby in Geneijo, and Hirai Tarou had to give it up for adoption. Maybe Miyama’s motive was a revenge on Geneijo itself, the place in which she had been so profoundly rejected.

--

After everyone but the detectives leave the dining hall, Juku adds that, intentionally or not, the Geneijo case managed to fulfill all the 30 elements from Dakushoin’s list.

The others think that maybe if they were as capable as Juku, they could prevent the last few tragedies… but even as they thought about the past, they had to keep moving forward and finally leave Geneijo behind.

Hoshino Tae leaves Geneijo too, having both lost and learned so much.

--

--

On 31st December that year, a day before Tsukumo Juku is supposed to leave for England, he returns to Geneijo carrying flowers for the dead.

He’s not the only one there. The First Group’s leader Yaiba Somahito is already waiting there in silence. After some pleasantries Yaiba says that he checked the Geneijo case files once more and noticed that Dakushoin had been found to have terminal stage cancer. The man truly put the rest of his life into his writing – for the sake of a grand downfall.

As an aside, Yaiba also contacted Dakushoin’s editor and learned that there was some other book planned that Dakushoin’s sister Nagisa was supposed to be writing under a weird pen name, “Seiryoin Ryusui” or something like that.

Yaiba and Juku stand in silence for a few moments before Yaiba asks:

“Tsukumo, why did you lie that Miyama Kaoru was the Artist?”

“What do you mean, Mr. Yaiba?” Juku’s voice is still beautiful, but without its usual warmth.

Yaiba shows him an envelope with a message saying just “Please help me. TEL”. TEL was Teru’s signature. She knew Yaiba and tried to summon his help, but Yaiba returned to Japan from a case too late to read it in time.

Yaiba explains in a voice full of sadness: “Miyama Kaoru was mine and Mamiya Teru’s child. 22 years ago, my family was employed by Geneijo. My father was the butler before Kosugi Kan. When I was 12, Mamiya abused me. Since I know from her that Hirai Genji wasn’t able to have children, only I can be Miyama’s father.”

In The Tale of Genji, Kaoru wasn’t actually Genji’s biological child, but was fathered by another character, Kashiwagi. Kashiwagi was also the last name Yaiba once had.

Yaiba is convinced that Juku’s meta-reasoning told him the truth about the case and he just disregarded it in favor of a fake explanation. Yaiba’s only question is why. Was Juku protecting the actual culprit? There was obviously someone else who could commit the murders – the only other person who trained their baseball pitching well enough: the butler’s son Shouri. That’s why some tricks seemed childish. That’s why Shouri was hanging around in the greenhouse before a murder was committed there.

Juku finally admits that the true culprit of the case was Kosugi Shouri. But at the same time, this wasn’t the truth. Shouri may have been the “perpertrator”, but it’s unthinkable a boy like him would come up with the entire plan on his own. There was a mastermind; a frightfully powerful someone.

This case is truly unsolvable. Finding a solution would probably require them to unravel the strings that hold the world, the story and all the mysteries together, would take some sort of divine reasoning.

Dakushoin knew about it too, and put one last clue in his manuscript; maybe even by sheer writer instinct more than actual knowledge. A well hidden “AB ; 10101011” that seems like a random error of the word processor. AB meant 171 in hexadecimal, and 10101011 meant 171 in binary. 171 = i(chi)-na(na)-i(chi). Inai, meaning that something doesn’t exist. There was also a seemingly random part named Kimi~1/2 Hanashi. Kimi ½ = a half of “kimi” [“you”] = half-person = literally a han-nin = hannin [culprit].

Hannin ha nashi = “There is no culprit”.

Lost in thought, Juku looks up at the sky for a long time.

Yaiba still wants to know the ultimate truth, and Juku says that this shall stay a secret between them just like Yaiba’s past. Juku can only give one clue -- the personality of the mastermind can be derived from answering a few questions: who would want there to be so many misdirections and tricks? Who would want there to be a lot of unexpected twists in the case?

Juku adds that after the case was done, Hikimiya led by his detective instinct counted how many times each writer’s full name showed up in the manuscript. 37 for each of them. 37 = mi-na [“everyone”], so if everyone had ‘the same 37 times’ worth of mentions, then maybe the message was that “everyone is the same”. Anyone can be anyone. Maybe it means that all the categorizing of people based on their race, gender and so forth is meaningless; people are in the end just people.

The two detectives finally leave Geneijo and the story.

--

(There is one more chapter after that, called the Phantom Chapter. It’s long and poetically complicated, but the gist of it is that the story rests in the hands of the reader. For example, if a Reader stops reading the book in the middle out of boredom, then as far as that Reader is concerned, the true criminal is someone else. If after long years a Reader will forget the disliked parts, the story will show another face, and the Reader will think the true criminal is someone else.

The last answer bestowed by the godly detective isn't certain. Nothing is certain. Knowing this, the Readers may decide for themselves how they want to explain things. (For example, what if all the misdirections were in fact the signatures of the culprit(s)?)

The truth can be understood only by the reader who – as the narration prompts in the end – uses the 99 cipher to discovered the missing part of Dakushoin’s long message, using the titles of the last 17 sub-chapters of this 99-subchapter-long book called Joker:

Shin-han-nin-ha-da-re-de-mo-i-i-no-de-aru

The true culprit can be anyone.)

THE END

[incorrectbatfam]

Hi. I love your work it's super hilarious and always makes me smile no matter the bad I had. I know you mostly only do bat family only. But I really love the BuzzFeed unsolved segment you did with Batman villains. Would it be alright to ask if you could do more of that?

Again love your blog. It's so refreshing.

"Hello and welcome to another season of Buzzfeed Unsolved. Today we'll be covering the enigmatic case of the Riddler."

"I see what you did there, Ryan."

"Thanks, I appreciate it."

"Yeah, I love a good wordplay."

"It's a double wordplay, actually, since his true identity—as we'll dive into—is Ed Nygma."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"That's a stupid name."

*wheeze*

~

Shane: "I'd love to sit down for a dinner with Poison Ivy."

Ryan: "Except she could strangle you with her plants."

"She seems like a decent lady."

"She's an eco-terrorist!"

"But she's got a good point."

~

"—and that's when Roman Sionis became the notorious crime boss Black Mask."

"Wait, so he fused a mask to his face?"

"Pretty much. Kinda gross when you think about it."

"I can imagine. Like, you know when you were a kid and you'd cover your head in saran wrap and try to melt it on with a hair dryer?"

"No?"

"You didn't try to encase your head in plastic when you were a kid? That was a whole thing at my school."

"The fuck kind of school did you go to?"

"You didn't do that?"

"Why the hell would I do that?!"

~

"Harleen, known for her genius-level IQ, got her PhD in psychiatry at Gotham State University."

"But Gotham's not a state."

*wheeze* "I mean, it's so cut-off it might as well be."

"Also, if my math's right, that means she went to school with Bruce Wayne."

"What are you implying?"

"You know how college is."

"So you think Bruce Wayne and Harley Quinn were—"

"Smashing pumpkins?"

"... Sure. Let's go with that."

~

Shane: "If I was Mr. Freeze, I'd give up evil and just drive an ice cream truck."

Ryan: "No offense, but you'd be the stranger danger that parents tell their kids about."

"You don't want my ice cream? My evil Arctic laser ray sundaes?"

"Actually when you put it like that it sounds pretty good."

~

"Here we are in the Joker's abandoned theme park. I'm gonna turn on my spirit box and see if we can pick something up."

"I thought he was alive."

"Depends on your canon."

~

Shane: "Fuck, marry, kill: Two-Face, Mad Hatter, Man-Bat."

Ryan: "Kill Man-Bat and uh... fuck Two-Face and marry the Hatter."

"Interesting. Care to explain?"

"Well, Man-Bat's, like, an animal, right? Or at least part animal. And I'm not into the furry stuff anymore, so—"

"Anymore?"

"It was an experimental phase."

"Sure. A 'phase'."

"It was!"

"Don't worry Ryan, your secret's safe with me." *winks*

"I'm not—" *takes a deep breath* "Anyway, so kill Man-Bat. Then I'd have a one-night with Two-Face 'cause I think his two halves can get creative, you know?"

"Why're you asking me if I know? Do I look like I know him?"

"Honestly I wouldn't be surprised at this point."

"And then I'd marry the Hatter 'cause Batman's gonna send him back to Arkham in like a week anyway so I'll be free."

~

"Welcome back to Buzzfeed Unsolved: Postmortem, a show where we answer your most pressing questions about the latest episode of Buzzfeed Unsolved, which was Red Hood. All the questions we have today are from our Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and directly on the video on BUN."

"Our first question comes from user@jasontoddsnotdead on Twitter: Is it possible that Red Hood was actually a former protogé of Batman who felt he was let down because Batman won't do what's needed?"

*Shane and Ryan glance at each other*

Both, in unison: "Nah."

~

Ryan: "Our next fan art comes from @robin4 on Instagram. It's basically the Ghoul Boys as a vigilante duo."

Shane: "Would you ever become a vigilante, 'cause I wouldn't."

"Sure. Just not in Gotham."

~

"The Hotdaga's coming to Gotham City, and this time, they're facing off against the evil Condiment King."

"That's not a real villain."

"It is."

"I don't believe you. It's too over-the-top even for Gotham."

"Well, you better believe it, 'cause we even got a special performance from Catwoman herself."

"Why did I agree to this show?"

[blu-joons]

DATING SUPER JUNIOR HEADCANON A⇴Z ⇴ Park Jeongsu

A ⇴ AFFECTION

Jeongsu is very affectionate with you, always with tinted cheeks as he gets so shy. He’s very cuddly, especially late at night when he’s tired. He loves to make sure that you feel loved and taken care of whether that means pulling you into a tight hug or simply holding your hand.

B ⇴ BEFORE DATING

He talks to anyone, and you were no different, so it didn’t take long before the two of you got to know each other. You weren’t sure if he was just being friendly, as he was to everyone, or if he really did like you, but he was more than sure. The boys couldn’t shut him up from the moment he started to tell them all about you, from then, they knew you were the one for him.

C ⇴ CONFESSION

Surprisingly, he became very shy when it came to confessing to you. He tried to avoid the topic a few times by making himself busy with work, but eventually he realised that this wasn’t something he could put off forever. He was surprised to see how relieved you were when he confessed to you, all your worries about whether the feeling was mutual finally disappeared. As soon as you confessed your feelings too, he pulled you into the tightest hug to hide his red cheeks.

D ⇴ DATES

Your dates typically ended up at his apartment to give you both plenty of privacy, not to mention how much Jeongsu loved to cook for you. People of all generations know exactly who he is which makes dates in public quite a challenge, so if you do go out for dates, he’ll tend to take you to a restaurant where you can sit somewhere secluded and out of the way. Luckily for him, your favourite dates were at his house too, just the two of you with a good meal, and then cuddling up on the sofa at the end of the night. They never stayed the two of you for long however, Koongie was well known to interrupt you both at the worst moments.

E ⇴ EXPERIENCE

At his age, it’s only natural that Jeongsu has been on a few dates and had a couple of short relationships, but never anything long term. He’d never found someone that was able to work alongside his career, until he met you. As the leader, he felt a duty to conduct himself in the right way as an idol should, but he wasn’t getting any younger and he was desperate to find love. Finding someone like you, he couldn’t bring himself to let you go, unlike any other girl he had dated he was determined to make it work with you so that he could look more to the future.

F ⇴ FIGHTING

There are very few arguments between you both, usually you’ll end up squabbling like children and then quickly making up, he’d had enough arguments with his members over the years to add you to the list. Sometimes he tends to keep his feelings bottled up to try and protect you, but they end up blowing up and he’ll eventually shout at you, but quickly apologise. No arguments ever blew up like the Incheon Battle, he’d matured a lot since those times, and the two of you were much more similar than he and Heechul were. If the two of you did ever argue, he’d tend to walk away from the situation, using time as a healer for you both.

G ⇴ GETTING TO KNOW HIS FAMILY

The issues his family has had over the years have been well publicised, so Jeongsu will be desperate for you to get on with his family. You could never fill the hole his family had left but you tried hard to impress them all. Seeing how happy you made Jeongsu though after a lot of pain, they loved you and soon warmed to you and welcomed you into the family.

H ⇴ HOME

It didn’t take long before the idea of moving you into his home came to Jeongsu. He was quite keen on having someone around to listen to him rather than walking around and talking to himself. Whilst he knew that for most people his mysophobia would be difficult to deal with, he was more than willing to try and find a compromise in order to make you happy at his home. Only a few months into your relationship he was ready to hand over a key.

I ⇴ “I LOVE YOU”

Jeongsu was the first to say, ‘I love you,’ when you surprised him at a taping one day. He’d had the day from hell, but seeing your face just made everything better. As soon as the take was over, he was straight over to you and pulling you into a giant hug, whispering the words into your ear, still making the effort to hide his face so that you couldn’t see his blush.

J ⇴ JEALOUSY

He didn’t tend to get jealous too often, even if he did struggle with his insecurities at times. He likes attention, which everyone knows, so if he doesn’t have your attention then he’ll do whatever it takes to make sure he has it. He tries hard to mask his jealousy, but everyone can tell whenever he’s feeling envious just by the look on his face. Out of the two of you, you tend to get more jealous. Seeing how social he is and how loved he is can be a little hard on you at times, any event that the two of you go to people want to speak to him, but you try hard to be a supportive girlfriend, and Jeongsu will always make you feel better when you’re alone again.

K ⇴ KIDS

All of the boys have expressed a desire to have children, but none of them are more desperate than Jeongsu. Most nights he’ll find himself dreaming of what the house will be like with children running around and what they’d look like. He’s very open with you that he wants children, and he’s more than willing to wait a year or too, but after that, he’ll be desperate to start a family with you and finally become a father.

L ⇴ LAUGHTER

He tends to make you laugh when he least realises he is doing out. You’ll always tune into him talking away to himself around the house which makes you smile, shaking your head in disbelief at him. When he does want to make you laugh, he knows exactly what to do, he’s well known for his dad jokes and wordplay, and he knows it works on you too. Your laughter really can brighten up his days, coming home and hearing your giggles solves everything, even just for a few moments. He knows exactly how to cheer you up, as you do with him.

M ⇴ MISSING

Jeongsu is used to putting on a brave face whenever the group is away from home, but that all changed when he met you. Video calls and texts just weren’t the same for him, he liked to have the physical contact with you. You’d try and contact him as much as you can, but time zones never worked in your favours. If you took too long to reply or answer he tended to get quite agitated and worried, and that would definitely show onstage. His members, especially Siwon, tried hard to comfort him, but when he was really missing you it was hard for anyone to know exactly how to make him feel better, especially when you still weren’t around.

N ⇴ NICKNAMES

You always remembered on your second date how Jeongsu told you how he liked to be called, ‘bub,’ which stuck throughout your relationship. He was very traditional with his nicknames for you, more often than not he’d refer to you as, ‘bub.’

O ⇴ OBSESSION

He was obsessed with your smile; it was his favourite sight in the world. He loved seeing you happy, especially when he was the reason for it. He’d spend all day making you smile if he had to, he just loved to see it.

P ⇴ PDA

Whilst he’s very protective and private of your relationship, that doesn’t stop Jeongsu from being affectionate with you in public. His hand can usually be found holding onto yours to make sure that you’re close to him, or if he has a small break he’ll try and cuddle up to you for a while to keep himself calm. He’ll try to private in interviews too, but as everyone knows, once you get him talking, he doesn’t stop.

Q ⇴ QUESTIONS

Being so talkative, he’ll ask you a question about literally anything. Sometimes it will just be to make sure you’ve eaten, other times he’ll ask your opinion on flat earth theory or something just to initiate a conversation.

R ⇴ RANDOM FACTS

One thing he’s learnt to love recently is his YouTube channel, and so for any special occasions in your relationship, he’ll always upload a little video of videos he’s taken of you, without you even knowing. It’s the only real time the fans get to see any part of your relationship too, but he also loves to look back on all your memories whilst also showing off how good his editing skills are getting too.

S ⇴ SEX

He likes to dominate during sex and show off his tones body to you. He’s very protective and loving and will tend to hold you in his arms to keep you close to him. He’s a busy guy, but he’ll always make time for you. Sex is never rushed with Jeongsu, he likes to take his time with you, and also make sure he can absorb as much of your attention as he possibly can for a while. He takes great care of you and will only ever do what you’re comfortable doing.

T ⇴ TEXTS

If he wants you, he tends to call you so he can carry on with work whilst talking to you, but if he’s on tour, he’ll always text you. Anything that comes to mind he’ll send you a text so he can remember to talk to you about it on your next call.

U ⇴ UNIVERSE

Everything good in his life felt like it came from you. Over the years he’d began to feel quite lonely and disconnected, but you brought him back into the real world and picked him up every time he felt himself experiencing a low point.

V ⇴ VACATION

Jeongsu very rarely had time to go on vacations, so when he went overseas with the band or an individual, he tried hard to make sure that you could go to. Whenever he had free time, he’d find something for the two of you to do or explore. If he did have time to take you on holiday, he’d make sure to pull out of all of the stops as a thank you for putting up with him and his incredibly busy schedule.

W ⇴ WHINING

Again, if he doesn’t have your attention, he’ll definitely whine. He won’t stop at anything to make sure that he has your attention and you’re listening to him.

X ⇴ XXXXX

He absolutely loves to kiss you when he’s got you close to him, but as with any affection, it always makes him shy around you. He’s very loving with his kisses, always lingering for a little longer than he needs to, to make sure that the emotion is felt in his kiss. When he wants a little more from you too, he’ll always make sure to tell you with a kiss.

Y ⇴ YOU

You were his best friend, the light that he needed to really feel like Jeongsu.

Z ⇴ ZZZ

At the end of a long day, he loves for nothing more than to hold you in his arms as he falls asleep. He refuses to let you go all night when he’s got you, he always sleeps peacefully when he’s close to you, especially if Koongie is there too.

---

Masterlist

[scarlettaagni]

Bhu’ja-Lulij a.k.a. Bhu’ja-Hulij (Mad Ghost)

Mad Ghost is M’hsi’s great-great-great granduncle and the third disgraced Odd Crest within recent history, as well as the oldest surviving member. He is also the only Odd Crest to be formally declared a Bad Blood, for his crime of partaking in tough meat, the cannibalization of another Yautja. He has since disappeared into the desert for the following 600 years, eluding capture.

Before committing the actions that led to that, he was named Mad Ghost in part of his split-strategies during Hunts- alternating being elusive and silent despite his massive size like a ghost, or charging like a bat out of hell as if gripped by an all-encompassing rage with his trademark axe. Mad Ghost was also named for his habit of sleepwalking and talking, which usually increased in frequency in times of stress. Wandering in the middle of the night muttering ominous nothings, with blank but open eyes and becoming violent when trifled with earned him a name befitting someone who acts like a restless spirit.

Mad Ghost was always eager to go on Hunts and relished in the bloodshed and recovery of trophies. In his free time, he either trained, observed and upkept his trophies, or played music. When he wasn’t slaughtering during a Hunt, he recorded human music he heard (typically church songs and choirs).

He was in his 300s when a Hunt on NV-39W resulted in a cave-in that trapped him in an air pocket with the already deceased body of his Hunt-brother Tieri. Presumed dead, the Hunting party (including a then-young Zazin) returned a few months later to retrieve the expected bodies, instead finding a starving Mad Ghost digging into Tieri’s disembodied leg next to his ravaged corpse. He was accordingly subdued, put under, and given medical attention while transported back to Yautja Prime for his sentence, either death or exile on a hostile planet.

Before a conclusion was reached, Mad Ghost awoke and escaped containment, disappearing into the deserts of Yautja Prime.

Over the following 600 years since his escape, Mad Ghost sought to demonstrate that his crime did not define who he was, never again partaking of tough meat and telling anyone he could have a conversation with that he only did it out of desperation. Believing that he was not the same as other Bad Bloods and to show he belonged back in normal society, Mad Ghost also tracked down and killed other Bad Bloods, especially those whose crimes were not as forgivable as his.

Spending the majority of his time alone in caves or makeshift shelters, he privately grappled with the trauma of the accident, being trapped with the body of a Hunt-brother he could not save, and being forced to eat it until his capture. He will not know rest until he knows if Tieri forgives him or not. Since the incident, Mad Ghost’s sleeptalking subjects have been exclusively about his experiences wasting away next to and eating Tieri’s body.

Enforcers and cocky Hunters had tried their hand at tracking down the legendary Mad Ghost, who typically avoided even being spotted. In the rare cases he was discovered, he easily won the skirmishes and purposefully left his assailants alive, just short on weapons. Careful not to take any weapons that could track him, Mad Ghost was seldom seen, never heard, but a popular urban legend among the clan in his absence.

Mad Ghost’s story was recorded accurately within records of the incident and the memories of those still alive to have witnessed it, but word of mouth has warped the story so heavily as to demonize Mad Ghost as Tieri’s murderer, a willing cannibal, or an unwilling cannibal warped into a beast who hungers for flesh and continues to crave and feast in the desert on stragglers. Even his attempts to garner support by killing Bad Bloods has been spun by mass opinion into him betraying his own kind yet again: first by turning on Yautja society by eating tough meat, and again by killing his fellow Bad Bloods. Some believe he has died given his obscurity, and some even doubt his existence in the first place, considering it a wild story to malign the clan’s resident punching bags, the Odd Crests.

The local plays have rendered Mad Ghost a sort of pierrot/harlequin/trickster stock character, with protagonists being lost in the desert as a fictionalized and flanderized version of Mad Ghost portrayed by an actor appears to lead them astray, terrorize them, or devour a side character. Few plays are actually about him, instead relegating a fictionalized retelling to a side plot, or feature him nearly contextlessly without dedicating a scene to his “backstory”. Even his name itself had been run through the mud, as the Yautja words for mad (angry), l’ulij-bpe, and mad (crazy), h’ulij-bpe, rhyme, resulting in insulting wordplay.

His time spent in the desert, through both sun-bleaching and age, has turned his hair and spines white. Though 900 years old and nearly an Ancient himself, Mad Ghost still clings to his wasted youth and as a result, uses the tar pits in the deserts of Yautja Prime to dye his hair black. His lack of spines and the dye cause him to look as young as he did before the incident.  When he is seen with white hair, he is perceived as a spirit or crazed old man, and with black hair, regarded as potentially some kind of eternal supernatural being that Death has abandoned.

Mad Ghost constantly forgets his age and generally acts as he did when he was 300, with a few added behavioral tics such as a tremor, a perpetually unhinged mouth, and a lack of indoor voice. His true age is usually remembered when recalling the past, winning an argument, or making a joke.

After centuries of processing the grief and guilt, Mad Ghost finds himself secure enough to joke about his experiences, insisting he’s finally over it. When asleep, his grief and guilt manifest through his sleepwalking and talking.

When M’hsi returns from her trials, given Mad Ghost’s known slaying of Bad Bloods, sparing the lives of Enforcers, and the ambiguous nature of his original crime, her restoring the Odd Crest honor will revoke his Bad Blood status. Upon her return and recuperation, M’hsi will don her mask, and carrying his previously confiscated axe, find Mad Ghost to tell him the good news. Upon seeing her face and odd crest, he stops reacting with hostility and welcomes his new family with open arms and eagerly fawns over his niece and nephews as they house him. Zazin helps catch him up to speed with modern Yautja society (and providing him with the company of someone actually his age).

Given his streak of victories when barely armed in the desert, he spends his twilight years training M’hsi alongside Vosandi, under Halkrath’s guidance. Depending on how long Mad Ghost lives, he plans on training Lo’bane as well (wishing to wait until Lo’bane is old enough to stand a chance against him).

Mad Ghost’s biggest issue with his newly normal lifestyle is the repetitive debunking of rumors about him and his life. He is especially disgusted with how everyone has memorized his name, yet rarely speak of Tieri, whom he remembers well as a friend and real person (which the public treats him not). Enraged to the point of hilarity at their joint portrayal in the clan’s media, he pens his own account of events titled The Dark Well of Sweet Light in an attempt to set the record straight.

During his time in the well, Mad Ghost did not come close enough to death to meet Cetanu, unlike Halkrath. However, his survival, too, was a result of the whim of Cetanu, who chose to take Tieri’s life and spare the Odd Crest rather than the other way around. Mad Ghost suspects this is so but will not learn the truth and Tieri’s feelings until he himself passes. As he nears the end of his life, like an Ancient, he becomes more in tune with the abstract and spiritual as Zazin is.

[youngash]

Your Chosen One Has Fallen From The Sky!

The Entity’s realm howled with a gust of wind so strong that even the trees danced within its glory. The whole sight was chaotic, a portal opening from the sky with a black and orange hue. It felt inexplicably deep, similar to the ocean. Even a scream could be heard from it, though not one of pain or fear but more like shock? It was not a random woman's voice, as it sounded more like a man’s voice.

In a sudden surge of light, Ashley J. Williams himself had fallen from the sky, yelling at the top of his lungs before taking a great fall, slamming right into the floor with a thud and a bounce that soon accompanied it. He checked his body and right hand frantically, a frustrated expression plastered onto his bloody face. His Boomstick? Gone. Chainsaw hand? Gone; now replaced with his old metal hand that was fashioned from medieval armor. 

“Geez, a man can’t recite a little wordplay from this bad boy?” His voice broke the monotone noises of the forest, his metal hand slapping against the Necronomicon Ex-Mortis strapped to his waist. Speaking of, what the hell was this place. He looked down only to see letters with splattered blood and chainsaw stamps on them. “Great, a fan signing. What is this, an ask me page on a bulletin board from school or something?” Ash joked, only to come up with the greatest idea possible. Maybe these would help him find his way out of whatever the hell this place was. “Booyah, baby! Now, this is where the money is!” Sure, he wouldn’t be able to find his way out of here, but maybe he would get the answers soon.

Groovy.

(Welcome to the Ash Williams ask blog/rp blog! Feel free to catch some info from here and maybe it’ll help you out a little! Let’s have a fun one.)

[shallow-seas-we-sail]

£ (A Girls Night Out on the Town)

Alex taps the center of the table, “Okay, call it. Fifty bucks in the pot. Shot glass in five. Lets go.”

“The barstool in ten.” Sam grins and smacks her money into the center of the table. Nia rolls her eyes over the glass of her fruity concoction before setting it down and turning in her stool to rummage through her purse, “Shattered cue ball in fifteen.”

Alex lifts her chin towards Kelly, “What do you think?”

Kelly shifts in her seat, and absently picks at the label of her beer bottle, “I think this is a bad idea.” 

“Boo, okay mom.” Sam deadpans into the top of her bottle before taking a sip. Alex snorts as she throws back a shot, the tequila nearly burning its way out of her nose.

Kelly drums her fingers impatiently on top of the table before reaching into her jacket pocket, “Fifty on the table in..,” she pulls her lip between her teeth and narrows her eyes towards the bar where Kara is waving down the bartender, “eighteen.”

“Why do you always pick such a weird number?” Nia asks, poking at the small umbrella sticking out of her drink, “This isn’t the Price Is Right.”

“Isn’t it though?” Kelly retorts with a sideways smile as she slides the bill across the table.

“Alright, you’re last, Luthor.” Alex jabs Lena with a playful elbow, “Main event. Whatcha got?”

Lena presses a single finger to her lips thoughtfully and her eyes flit over to Kara, who looks confused as to how to precariously balance the six drinks the bartender has placed down in front of her. 

“The jukebox is getting fried tonight in twenty.” Lena says ruefully as she opens her wallet and lays a crisp bill down. Alex smiles, and pokes a shot glass across the table towards Lena that she waves off, “I hate tequila.”

Alex gives a knowing look, but doesn’t stop the forward momentum of the glass until it is bumping against Lena’s knuckles, “Come on...”

Lena licks her lips, and plucks her wine glass up, giving a tight smile towards the older Danvers sister, “Fine, but this is,” she taps the side of the shot glass, “contingency. plan. only.”

continue on ao3 or

Alex scrunches her face up, a little drunk and a little excited as she reaches into the center of the table, collecting the money in a scramble and shoving it into her pocket, “Okay. okay, okay, okay, here she comes. Shh.”

“You are literally the only one talking.” Nia says, flicking a rogue pretzel across the table towards Alex.

“Talkin’bout what?” Kara asks, carefully setting down the drinks and glancing around the table.

Alex freezes for a moment, a tight smile plastered across her face and narrows her eyes, “Uh...”

“My semester abroad.” Lena finally interjects.

Sam’s eyes widen, a devious smirk pinching at the corner of her lips, “Oh?”

Lena glances towards Sam, giving a subtle wink as Kara takes the seat beside her, “Play along.” she mumbles half-heartedly out of the side of her mouth.

Sam’s eyes narrow for a moment as she weighs her options. If Lena is giving her the green light to improvise, she is going to take it and run. Decision made, she gives an emphatic nod, “Right. You semester abroad in..”

“London.” Lena finishes.

Sam snaps her fingers and pushes lightly against her friends shoulder, “Of course. London.” 

Sam is sure that was a semester she visited, but can’t quite remember. She does distinctly remember the apartment Lena had sublet above a bar and the fish and chips smell that clung to everything. That doesn’t mean that she can’t work with this tiny sliver of information. She is also in a wicked dry spell in their betting pool, so, whatever it takes to get a barstool shattered, she is ready to take on. She needs to poke Kara juuuust enough, and honestly, it won’t take much, and Sam is teetering on the sort of drunk that she will absolutely use to her advantage to bend the rules in her favor. 

Kara takes a sip of her drink, the strong taste burning in the back of her throat and winces as she lowers her glass, “I didn’t know you did a semester abroad.”

Nia’s face screws up in bewilderment as she looks between Sam and Lena, “What the fuc-? OW.” she snaps towards Alex, who is digging the point of her boot into her shin beneath the table.

“Are you okay?” Kara perks up.

“Yeah, just a little bitch.” Nia says curtly, cutting her eyes at Alex.

“Hmm?” Kara hums, half paying attention as she leans back and stretches her arm out so it rests on the back of Lena’s chair. She barely contains her smile when Lena gives an assuring shoulder shimmy, and pushes in closer, settling into the crook of her arm.

“Itch. Just a little itch.” Nia laughs mirthlessly, bending forward, and swatting at Alex’s foot under the table, “It’s fine.”

“So,” Kelly intervenes, resting her hand on her girlfriend’s thigh and giving a tighter-than-warranted squeeze, “how did you like London?”

“It was beautiful. I enjoyed the autonomy of being out there and exploring a new place on my  own,” Lena says wistfully, “especially becau-..”

“Because I was there.” Sam finishes, her head falling forward and sucking in a breath as she slams her shot glass down on the table, “Visiting and pulling the stick out of this one’s ass and dragging her out all over the city.”

Sam grins, Oh yeah, it’s all coming back to her now. 

Lena’s distant, nostalgic look shifts into something more dumbfounded and with a pinch of horror as she turns her head slowly towards her friend.

“Don’t you dare.” she warns.

Sam wiggles her eyebrows and gives a faux pout towards her friend as she leans in conspiratorially and whispers, “Playing along remember?”

“I thought you went to school with Andrea?” Kara asks, absently twirling the stirrer in her glass.

“I did. Sam visited, usually around finals to cause trouble.” Lena says, side-eyeing her friend.

Sam waves off the comment, even if it is true, “No. I came to loosen you up because you were, and continue to be, a nerd.” she mocks in a low tone, “Plus you were literally living off of Wispa bars and black coffee. I was doing you a favor.”

Kara smiles and leans in, and goosebumps begin to prick up on Lena’s arm as warm puffs of breath pass over her ear, “Oh, so that’s what you keep stowed away in your desk drawer.”

Kelly turns over her hand, ignoring how insufferable those two are, and glances at her watch, “Three minutes. You’re about to be out.” she whispers out the side of her mouth to her girlfriend.

“Like hell I am.” mumbles Alex, shooting her hand up and snapping her fingers. She presses her beer bottle to her lips, finishing the last of the amber liquid as a waiter approaches the table, “Six shots. I don’t care. Anything.”

The waiter gives a tight smile and nods as she heads back towards the bar. Alex drums her fingers impatiently against the table as she tries to peer around the throngs of people crowding the bar and glances down to her watch.

“You think showing up to my flat in the middle of finals and dragging me out to every bar so you could find someone and get laid was a favor?” Lena asks incredulously. 

“Come on, come on.” Alex pleads, biting her lip, and gives a small fist pump when the waiter returns, “Thaankk you,” she sing-songs as she picks up the glasses from the waiter’s tray and passes them around table.

“Pffft, that flat was a glorified closet at best,” Sam says, lifting her shot glass. Lena scrunches up her nose and makes a face, “and secondly, I wasn’t the only one getting laid.”

Kara stiffens and her hand tightens around the shot glass as she raises it. Alex is so, so sure she hears it crack.

“What are we cheers’ing to?” Kelly asks, picking up her glass, and studying reddish liquid, “And what is this?”

Nia lifts her glass to her nose and grimaces, “Oh, that’s a Washington Apple,” and she wafts the offending odor away from her face.

“Okay, okay. To Lena’s semester abroad.” Alex chortles and raises her glass.

“To Lena’s semester abroad!” the other women echo, except Sam, whose eyes stay fixed on Lena as she raises her own glass.

It is too easy, honestly.

“To Pound Town.” Sam crows and throws back her head, the drink easily sliding down her throat.

Lena nearly chokes as she swallows, and quickly Kara’s hand is on her back, shot forgotten on the table and eyes wide with worry, “Are you okay?”

Nia licks her lips and shakes her head, trying to loosen the disgusting taste in her mouth, “What did you just say?”

“I-.. I’m fine.” Lena waves a hand and presses it against her chest, sucking in a breath.

Alex clenches her jaw and reaches across the table, snatching Kara’s drink and begrudgingly finishing it, “Damnit.”

“Sorry, babe.” Kelly consoles, rubbing her girlfriend’s shoulder.

Alex sits motionless for a moment before snapping her head up and staring at Sam, “Did you just say ‘pound town’?”

Nia nods in agreement as she sips on her drink, trying to get the bitter taste of cranberry and whiskey out of her mouth, “Yeah, what the hell is that?”

Sam leans back in her chair and brings her arm around Lena’s shoulders, squeezing and pulling her in close to her side and out of Kara’s loose embrace.

Kelly sucks in a breath and glances down to the table, eyes wide by the sheer audacity of Sam. While Alex audibly scoffs at the power move. Nia sways in her seat, and points an accusatory finger in Sam’s direction.

“I see your angle. Rein in it, why dont’cha?” she laughs, drunk and proud of her wordplay, and raises her hand for a high five. When no one at the table moves, she lowers her arm and rolls her eyes “Whatever,” she mumbles, poking at her umbrella again. 

Kara looks over to the growing space between herself and Lena and leans forward slowly, her eyes fixed on Sam and set to kill.

“Pound town,” Sam twirls a finger into Lena’s ponytail, her tongue peeking out between her lips as she glances at Kara, “We used to go there all the time.”

And this must be what death feels like, calmly and cold, settling into her palms, its icy grip moving its way up her back. And Lena is going to welcome it right here and now. Just to die and be dead and cease to exist. Lena closes her eyes, ready to welcome oblivion. She should have known better than to give Sam an inch. Because if she gives Sam an inch she takes a whole goddamn marathon mile.

Alex lifts a single finger and motions between Sam and Lena from across the table, “You two used to...” her eyes wide and expectant, but mostly pleading for her question not to have an answer. Not for her sake, but for Sam’s.

“Go to Pound Town?” Sam finishes as she lifts up her beer bottle and takes a sip, “almost every night.”

“Stop saying ‘pound town’.” Kara pleads and squeezes her eyes shut as she pinches the bridge of her nose.

“Pound City, then.” Sam quips, and waves her hand in a flourish as her other dips down into the collar of Lena’s shirt, tracing abstract patterns just below the nape of her neck, “Whatever, Lena loved it.”

Lena tucks her head, chin pressing against her chest, and glances woefully over to Kara who will likely pick up her body from the sticky bar floor and be writing her obituary by morning. Lena gives herself over to something greater and makes her peace that the only monument to the Luthor name will be an “In Remembrance” plaque hung up above the jukebox in an alien bar.

Sam presses a wet, drunk kiss against Lena’s temple; which causes her to jerk up, ramrod-straight in her chair. Maybe if she doesn’t move, she will just disappear. 

“Shit, babe, remember that night you were all like, ‘no, we can’t go again,’ and I told you we totally could, and finally, you were like, ‘okay but this is the last time Sam-a-lamb,’ and one time became three times and then six times, and finally you had gotten so much you couldn’t even walk straight.”

Kara’s eyes slowly grow wider, and Alex realizes with growing horror that her sister is possibly about to commit murder. Like, public execution. Like, kill-Sam-and-stick-her-on-a-post-in-front-of-Al’s-as-a-warning-to-all-others-not-to-remove-Lena-Luthor-from-super-cuddles assassination.

“Is she always this extra?” Nia asks painfully, lowering her head down onto her crossed arms, and resting on the table.

“She’s insufferable, and obviously she is embellishing.” Lena says, jabbing an elbow into an amused Sam’s side, “But you can practically get anything you want. We did spend many an inebriated night there.”

“Kara!” Alex yelps, slipping out of her seat with a small, drunken stumble, and linking her arm through her sister’s. “How’bout a round of pool, huh?”

Kara plants her feet, and the dirty linoleum floor cracks beneath her, “Shiiit,” Nia slurs, lifting her head up, “should’ah bet on the floor.” Alex bungees back into sister’s side, and tugs her arm again. This time Kara’s relents and allows Alex to pull her away.

“She’s messing with you.” Alex hisses as she shuttles them away from the group towards the pool table. Kara’s gaze stays planted directly over her shoulder, eyes flickering with cerulean heat as she half-listens to her sister.

“Six.” Kara says resolutely, hands nearly on her hips as she turns before thinking better of it, “Six, Alex.” she hisses back at her sister, “6.” she says, defeated. 

“How in the hell can I compete with that? Bring gatorade and trail mix to the bedroom?” Kara says, worry edging into her voice.

“Like Lena is ever going to be in your bedroom at this rate.” Alex slams the rack down on the table, and Kara straightens up, “Do you know what Pound Town even is.”

Kara waves her hands in a flourish, and plugs her ears, “La-la-no-no-no. Stop saying that.” she squeezes her eyes shut.

Alex juts out an arm, and collects a pool stick propped up from against the wall. She leans down, squaring up over the edge of the table and strikes a perfect break against her sister’s abdomen. Kara looks down in faux shock at the perfect blue ‘o’ dusted on her shirt.

“It’s like...the limey version of a Dollar General.” Alex pushes herself up from the table's edge, and leans back, rolling her eyes, “Kelly looked up on her phone while you were death-glaring at Sam. You fall for this every time she does it.”

“I do not.” Kara tuts, crossing her arms.

“The Rail Yard?” Alex drops her chin, giving her sister a blank stare.

“Tha-..that could’a been a sex dungeon.” Kara protests, pointing an accusatory finger at her sister.

“It was literally a restaurant they remodeled from an old train depot.”

“How was I supposed to know that?!” Kara throws her hand ups

Alex’s eyes go white for a moment as they roll into the back of her head, “This is it. This will be the time you two idiots finally make me stroke out.”

Kara’s head falls back and she stares up at the ceiling, a frustrated groan rumbling in the back of her throat.

“Look, she knows how you feel about Lena. Hell, anyone with eyes knows, and both of you just sit there, ocular intercoursing each other out in the open and we all have to suffer as unwilling voyeurs every time you two are within ten feet of each other.”

Supergirl looks off into a distant corner of the smoky bar, eyes shining with the knowledge of the cosmos. She also doesn’t need this shit. She is practically a god.

Alex snaps her fingers in front of her sister's face, “Don’t go all smoldering and stoic. This is the same thing she did at game night.”

“What game night?” Kara drops her arms, relenting to her ever present weight of loving Lena bearing down on her shoulders.

“The best of fiv... ya know what,” Alex shoots up her hands, effectively cutting herself off, “wrong timeline.” Kara blinks, “The point is, she is trying to rile you up so you finally make a move.”

Kara’s brain short circuits and boots back on, “I can make a move.”

“It’s been four years.”

“I can make all kindsa moves.”

Alex purses her lips and frowns, “You are drawing up blueprints to plan the plans for your moves.”

“Whatever,” Kara groans, changing the subject “What’s the bet tonight?”

“FIfty on what you break.” Alex taps her hand over the bundle of cash in her pants pocket.

“What did you have?”

“Shot glass in five.”

Kara blows out a low, sad whistle and clutches her hand to her chest, “Rao, have a little more faith in me then that.”

“Sam has the barstool in ten.” Alex smirks deviously, “And, there is a contingency plan.”

“What?” Kara whines through her teeth, eyes widening behind her glasses, “I thought that was a myth.”

“Someone has to make a move. And it’s not like you were ever gonna get around to it.” Alex snarks, widening her stance, arms akimbo, “Plus it’s not a myth, super dork. It’s just in a group chat that you’re not a part of. Tonight is the night, so if you don’t, Lena is.”

“That’s rude you know.” Kara chastises, and drops into a take-off stance, rubbing her hands together and a little giddy at Alex’s revelation. She bites her lip in thought and glances up to her sister, “How much time do I have?”

“Almost...” Alex looks at her watch and winces, “six and a half minutes give or take? Where are you go-..” But a gust of air is already hitting Alex’s face as she stares at a swinging alleyway door. Kara is gone, and a distant boom echoes in the distance as the sound barrier cries out, cracked by one lovesick and slightly horny Kryptonian.

“Oh shit.” Alex breaths in, and then forces a bright smile as she turns, making her way back to their table of friends.

“Where did Kara go?” Lena asks more jovially than necessary as she pushes a hand into the side of Sam’s laughing face. 

“Probably flew to Sexless in the City.” Sam blurts out, busting into another fit of hysterics as the front door blows up. The gust of accompanying wind sweeps up a dusting of leaves that silhouettes Kara, box tucked beneath her arm in its threshold.

“God,” Kelly whines, “Good or bad. You Kryptonians and your dramatic entrances.”

Sam throws a thumb over her shoulder towards the door, “I wasn’t that dramatic.”

“Mmm, but weren’t you though?” Alex tilts her head side to side thoughtfully.

“Took a trip over to Pound Town and got this one her own girlfriend.” Supergirl says, voice low, dripping with bravado and jutting a finger at Sam as she stalks forward.

“Told ya to Rein it in!” Nia perks up, and gives herself an astral high five, incandescent purple sparks fading off the tips of her fingers because, Boom. Fireworks.

Kelly lolls her head in Alex’s direction and screws her eyes shut because she is just so tired™ and because ‘these fucking idiots’ need so much therapy.

Alex blinks, and gives a quick, agreeable shrug as she comes up beside her girlfriend.

Sam tips her bottle at Nia, “Fair. May have crossed a line.” she concedes as a gust of wind blows up through her hair, sweeping it across her brow and obscuring her view.

“Shit, or a few lines.” Sam grits through her teeth as she runs her hands back through the tangles. She immediately chokes out a breath as the sharp corner of a box slams into her solar plexus and the barstool being kicked out beneath her shatters. Before Sam realizes she’s in a slow motion free fall, she is on her back in a crater of shattered linoleum, box clutched to her chest and gaping up at very pissed Kara Zor El.

“Here.” Kara snarls, pressing the box into Sam’s chest with a final push, eyes pulsing with heat behind skewed glasses.

All higher brain function shuts down for Lena then, her eyes fluttering shut for the briefest moment, and Nia juts out her bottom lip as she cheers her astral-projected self, “Girl, same.”

Back online, Lena reaches out, hands flexing needy, open and shut towards Kara. But before she can grab the fabric of Kara’s taut shirt, straining over those flexed biceps, she is face to face with a disheveled and flushed Kryptonian.

Kara throws a thumb over her shoulder towards a wheezing, supine Sam’s direction, “I’m sorry.” She confesses through her teeth.

Lena licks her lips, and does her best to suppress a dangerously bright smile, “Did you really...” she trails off as a laugh tumbles out of her, and Kara swears it is the only sound she wants to hear for the rest of her life.

“Go to Pound Town?” Kara asks leaning in conspiratorially, and with a little too much confidence, “Why? Would you like to come if I did?”

“Oh shit. That’s a move.” Alex mumbles under her breath.

Heat race under Lena’s skin, like a fever in her blood, and the flush creeps up all the way to the tips of her ears. And no, this is how Lena is sure she dies, by some corny double entendre from Kara that shouldn’t be having the effect on her that it does but absolutely is. So she plays it cool, feverish expression and all by resting a hand on her hip and giving an over exaggerated eye/head roll combo.

“Did you really think that line would work?” she says about an octave too high as she reaches around Kara and grabs her contingency plan. “Sláinte.” And Lena tilts her head back, throat open and burning with tequila. After a moment of reckoning, she brings her head forward and is met with a smug smirk pulling across Kara’s mouth.

“Did it?”

Lena schools her painful expression to something sadly more concerning; the inherent awe that comes with the knowledge that she is hopelessly in love with one (1) alien himbo.

“Unfortunately, yes.” she says in a huff, wrapping her arms around Kara’s neck, and pulling her into a hard kiss.

Their friends and the bar patron’s lets out a collective sigh, and the voices of ‘finally’ and ‘bout fuckin time’ are mumbled in concordance around the bar.

Sam raises a limp hand that Nia takes, helping her to her feet, “What’s the time?” she asks, pulling herself up.

Kelly turns her wrist over, and gives an approving nod, “Barstool in ten.”

Sam presses a hand into her lower back and slowly straightens herself up, rolling her eyes at the public love fest happening beside her, “Ew, gross, but worth it. Gimme my money, Danvers.”

Alex begrudgingly digs into her pocket, and smacks the wad of bills into Sam's outstretched hand, “Why can’t you just do this normal for once?”

Sam waves off the comment as she slips the money into her pocket, and brushes a few stray pieces of floor off of her shoulder, “Because where is the fun in that? It works every time.” 

Lena gently pulls away from the kiss and stares into the clear skies of Kara’s eyes. She adjusts her glasses and turns in their embrace towards Sam, and dips her head, motioning to the box her friend is still holding.

“Looks like someone is getting lucky tonight.” Lena murmurs as Kara’s warm lips move up her neck, nipping and kissing along the underside of jaw.

Sam arches a questioning eyebrow, and turns the box over in her hands. She is met with the plastic, blown up, cartoonish face staring dead-eyed back at her, mouth positioned in a perfect ‘O’

“She kinda looks like you.” Nia observes over Sam’s shoulder.

Kara’s hums in agreement as she walks her fingers around Lena’s back, pulling her close against her chest, “Yeah. So she can go fuc-...”

“Myself, yeah.” Sam cuts in, raising and shaking the package, conceding to Kara, “I deserve that.”

[sugargliderowl]

Thoughts About Remus' Playlist

So as usual, this is my first reaction/rant/analysis about the playlist! This time, it’s Remus’ Playlist. I think it’s going to be cursed. But a... good cursed, if that’s a thing. As usual, feel free to add on to this! It’s good to share thoughts and talk about meanings, even making predictions about the future! 

General Overview Before Listening: I love Yugen_sama ‘s artwork; her style makes me happy! Also, Remus doing that? TOTALLY HIM. Just looking at the choice of songs does mirror Roman’s playlist in a way with their own anthems, Tenacious D, maybe an etc. We’ll have to see on that. His explanation with all the emojis is definitely him, and I think that’s all I can say. Just look at it.

Reminder: Before we go on, a little reminder for your safety. The songs can be quite... a handful. If you know about Remus’ personality and interests but still wanna read the overall analysis, go to the TL:DR at the way bottom without reading the specific song analysis. If you remember the TW from the video, that really applies here. Stay safe. 

Song Analysis:

This Devil’s Workday: Genius told me that this is about a criminal going mad. Yeah. The blazing trumpets and the really radio-like voice in the song is kinda creepy, but that goes with Remus as intrusive thoughts! He’s very obtrusive, and he’s everywhere without any filter. It’s a good intro to his character. The poor sack of puppies in this song goes back to his theme’s lyric, “your pet dog stuffed into a sausage” Also, the repetition of “All the people that you know / Floating on the river are logs” is like what he does to Thomas (repetitively reminding him about the bad things). The  “Oh I am my own da[ng] God” goes along with all the biblical references he makes in his theme (and just the dark sides in general). All in all, this song/introduction just is him screeching, “HI, I’M YOUR INTRUSIVE THOUGHT WITHOUT THE UGH.” 

Forbidden Fruit (the Duke’s Theme): If you are a Fander, you definitely are singing/screaming this on top of your lungs as you listen to this. I did that, and I love that. This song itself has a lot of good analysis online, so check them out! It was the intro song of the Duke with all his motives, thoughts, and everything beyond that, so it’s definitely on here. Also, it mirrors A Gay Disney Prince from Roman’s playlist by both being their own “I want” songs as well as their character role songs. The Creativitwins strike here once.

Double Team: Tenacious D! The Creativitwins strike here again! Wonderboy was on Roman’s playlist, which is also a Tenacious D song, so you can definitely say there are some mirroring going on here (also! YES the artist choice seems like a definite factor in choosing these songs). So this song is about having sex. Okay. And having a threesome. Okay, Remus. This song, even though it’s from the same artist as Roman, has a really different theme. If the Tenacious D selection is about the twins, would this mean that Roman wants them to be a really good team who, even though are opposites, can get along, while Remus wants them both to lose the filter and have fun? Overall, it could mean that the twins both want to get along, just in different ways which contradict one another. I’m not going into the lyric details because oof.

Man: I just noticed that Yeah Yeah Yeahs was on Patton’s and Virgil’s playlists. On Remus? I didn’t really expect that, but that’s a pleasant surprise. This song is really interesting because it’s not like the other two. This song, for me, is about someone who is obsessed with a man who would make her do anything, and she’s just hooking up with him or something. Also, the whole, “You're all gonna burn in hell / I said we're all gonna burn in hell” goes back to the biblical references that the Dark Sides make as well as the lyric of “Cause your head's not in the gutter, pal / It's in Hell.” Who is the man? Thomas, probably. This probably directs back to Remus convincing Thomas to drop the filter.

Freeee: “When man becomes possessor of the knowledge of himself, he becomes the master of his environment“ in the beginning of the song is Remus telling Thomas to learn about himself by possibly accepting Remus. The lyrics “One day they hate you / Next day they love you / I'm still yellin' "F[*]ck 'em" / I could never trust—” show how Remus doesn’t trust the society like Janus, and that’s just one of the main core of the dark sides. They don’t trust people that much. This does include Virgil since he is anxiety, so he can’t trust everything immediately. They all have different ways of showing the distrust. For Remus, it’s the layback, “frick it” attitude. “I don’t feel pain anymore” and “nothin’ hurts me anymore” seems to be a potential for Remus angst of being rejected from all the sides and being the “Evil Twin”. Does he care or not care? No one knows yet.

In The Room Where You Sleep: Sleep from the shorts and Virgil will both react really strongly to this song. Why? “There's something in the shadows / In the corner of your room / A dark heart is beating / And waiting for you” (Telltale Heart reference-). Yeah. Remus listening to this would go back to that end card of Remus being creepy (and eating deodorant). Also, it possibly demonstrates Virgil and Remus’ relationship; Remus scared Virgil because of his thoughts and conjectures. The repetition of “You better run / You better hide” would also contribute to this thought, definitely. But then again, that melancholy keyboard... Why that montage at the end?

No Reason Boner: The song is very catchy and funny. But ASDKLFAJSD. This is definitely Remus’ type of song. That means that the sexual information is given control to Remus, and he probably uses the information for his jokes and intrusive thoughts. This song is what Remus' personality is: goofy yet NSFW. This intrusive thought without the ugh is probably lovable in this fandom because of that. Also, I don’t know why, but he can have that naivete even though he’s the one in charge of stuff like that. A nice juxtaposition right there.

I Told You I Was Freaky: This playlist is a RIDE. VERY MUCH A RIDE. Just all the sexual references in this song are just 1000% Remus. The song itself is quite whispery, and I guess that goes with Remus because he whispers the dirty stuff into Thomas’ ears. Well, whisper is very much an understatement. But I have to admit, if you listen to the lyrics, there are some very creative ways that people don’t think of. It’s usually a bed, a car, or in a club or party, but the lyrics are more than that. Then, we can assume how capable and skilled Remus is as the Dark Creativity; he’s as good as Roman, just in a different category. 

Queef: If you don’t know what a queef is, I didn’t too. I just looked it up while I was typing this. Wait, isn’t Awkwafina in like a movie? This, like that last song, is basically him going off on his creativity and wordplay. In future episodes, I would love to see how Remus can go off with his wordplay because if Roman’s good at all the nicknames, and if Remus is basically him but darker, that means he’s good. Like really good. This song is also very, very catchy, and I kinda jammed through it because of the beat.

Manners: According to genius, this song is a "sexually-charged bad b[*]tch anthem on which Ashnikko displays her “IDGAF”-attitude.” Basically, the vine, “I’M A BAD B*TCH YOU CAN’T KILL ME” would equate to Remus as well as the meme, “Aren’t you tired of being nice? Don’t you want to go APESH*T-.” This might connect with his facade in a way because he seems to be naive and goofy at times (although NSFW), but when he drops it, he drops it fast, and he drops it hard. For example, his facade drops when he threatened Logan in DWIT, and his facade can be picked back up quickly, too. This song also has the element of “Frick this world” attitude, which Remus showed in the previous songs, and I stan him. As the fandom did an edit once, he would definitely wear acrylic nails if he wants to. A thing that I did notice though is the lyric “Fight or flight, I’m fighting for my life.” HI VIRGIL!

Ben Bernanke: I don’t know who Spencer is, but a big OOF for him. This song’s structure is really unique because I have no clue where it’s going, and it’s going with Remus’ personality of just randomness and intrusivity (is that a word?). ALSO, the continuing snakes in these songs. So is Spencer Janus in our context? If so, Remus is quite mad at Janus. I do see why though, after that last video implying that he’s the Evil Twin. “Do you think you can mock me, Spencer? / Do you think you can capture my essence / And throw it back at me with / Humor and rhetorical devices?” Gosh, Janus and Remus could have beef with one another. Also, that “Avada Kedavra” and “I’m... a furious magician” could definitely foreshadow something in the future. Additionally, “You're the architect of my dreams, Spencer / You plan them, and build them on blue paper / And hand them to me / And then I dream them, Spencer.” 

Worldwide Torture: “I never come second place / Always been a big disgrace Smell the fear, I know you see / High achiever (Yeah, that's me!)” Welcome to Remus’ angst that we do not know much about yet. It’s great. It’s just like Roman, but in a more “I’m a disappointment” way! However, what’s quite different is that Remus is pissed. Beyond pissed about it, so he acts up unlike Roman who tries to mask it. Because he knows that he’s not regarded nicely with any of the sides, he wants to molest them and destroy the world, shown by the lyrics “A pure violation of God's great creation / It’s an infestation, it’s world domination.” I think this issue might pop up more frequently as more episodes come out, but for now, this is my assumption. Out of context, “The highest score” goes with that last episode, since Remus was present as the 80085. 

Na Na Na (Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na): I DIDN’T EXPECT THIS TO BE HERE, BUT I LOVE IT. THANK YOU. WOOOOOO YASSSS. This is actually one of the “pump me up” songs. First, “Eight legs to the wall, hit the gas, kill them all” is, obviously, a spider in the song, but in our context, we can also call it an octopus because Remus’ animal is an octopus, which has 8 tentacles (6 legs and 2 arms). Second, Remus is PISSED. He definitely has a punk aesthetic, shown by all the songs about flipping the world. The lyrics “I’d rather to to Hell / Than be in purgatory” definitely shows his determination of doing so since he’s saying that he won’t sit back. Somehow, for me it’s a growth from the beginning of “I don’t care” to “I actually care, and I’m fighting for that sh*t”. Pissed off Remus is scary Remus.

Trash People: Trash rat boiiiii. But this song is more than that. It’s showing that trash people aren’t really... trash people. “ Art is love and love is sloppy / Nothing is all pure / Nothing is all dirty” really shows the whole duality aspect in the entire series. Everything is gray. And that’s what Roman and Remus need to work on since they were divided by the black and white mentality. If Remus is okay with the gray morality, then who would be the one that he’s directing this song to? Roman. “Wearing a smile and a heart on my sleeve” though. I don’t get this lyric, but then again, tell me what you guys think! Does this mean that Remus is actually trying to be like this, or is he mocking Roman... The “no time to start over” also sounds really ominous.

Tranz: Gorillaz! Same album as Roma-OKAY THIS IS GETTING REAL. The last one with this artist had the lyrics, “I’m the lonely twin, the left hand... I don’t want this isolation.” People were screaming about this because, of course, this refers to Remus, but who knew that this was going to pop up again! That’s why I loved the artist connections during these analysis. Anyways, this goes back to the twin duality, but more of an angry tune. Take a look at this: “Do you look like me? Do you feel like me? / Do you turn into your effigy? / Do you dance like this forever?” Remember Roman’s whole monologue about Remus as someone he sees in the mirror with all the things he doesn’t want to be? This song is Remus asking Roman about that statement. Keep in mind that effigy is a sculpture that is usually used to mock or burn and is used as a negative connotation (thank you my English teacher). Remus doesn’t like that comparison at all, and I’m more concerned for him now than I was ever before after Janus saying that too. 

Death as a Fetish: Wow, this is sad. “And I will never be good enough, quietly / And you will never be good enough, just like me.” If the twins have the time to reconcile, this is probably the first thing they need to help out on each other. Remus knows more about his twin than we all thought, and he knows that both of them have problems about that. On the other hand, this song, when I looked at some of the annotations on genius, has a sad connotation. Life is so short, and it ends, and you know for sure that death is there at all times with that repetition of “death as a fetish” after everything we find positive. For Remus, I guess he knows about this. He’s a deeper character than we credit him as.

Don’t Stop Me Now: TONIIIIGHT IM GONNA HAVE MYSEEEELF A GOOD TIIME- okay. This song is something I scream my lyrics to. I also didn’t expect this, but in a calmer manner (because I wasn’t calm when this was on), yes please. Basically, DON’T STOP ME NOWWW! I don’t know how to explain this in a deeper way. Yeah. I LOVE THIS SONG THOUGH!

Things I Don’t Remember: “Things I don't remember / How the hell'd we get here? / How the hell did we get here?” This can be interpreted in a lot of ways. It could either be how all the sides came to be, how Roman and Remus came to be by both having the role of creativity, or just where Thomas is mentally since they are all Thomas. I think that’s depending on how you want to go about it. The last point is the strongest for me because of this one phrase of  “There were endless conversations / No one's mouths were really moving” maybe referring to the sides’ conversations around Thomas’ dilemmas. They sometimes only make it worse until someone has to kick in to change the viewpoint around, and that’s the reason why it feels like nobody’s mouths were really moving. Also, dressed up alligators? Okay, Remus.

F*ck It!: (Censored by yours truly with her notecard of “note your language”) The album name of taxidermy... fitting. Back to the song. “Why abstain? Why jump in line?” and “They say don't take the risk you're sure to fail... But what's the worst that could happen, end up in a coffin? / Isn't that where we're all headed anyway?” really highlights Remus’ spontaneity, which is a big factor in intrusive thoughts. This is back to the “frick this”, but more a “frick it I’m doing that sh*t, and I don’t care about the consequences” (going back to Na Na Na on that). Also, “'Cause it's easier to lie to yourself than to face reality” reminded me of Janus, but does this also apply to Remus in a way? Or does this apply to all the sides who are lying to themselves, especially Roman? Anyways, Remus’ spontaneity is something to kinda look up to at times. Not... not all the time. 

fReAkY 4 Life: Dorian Electra... the one behind Flamboyant from ROMAN’S PLAYLIST! The Creativitwins music solidarity number I-forgot-to-count. To the lyrics! “They just don't understand me / I'm not like them, I'm freaky” does go to all the other sides and Thomas because Remus really stands out from all the other sides. Silly yet NSFW, weird, and very new. Also, he seems to want some attention from all the sides with “ I like to be in the spotlight / Step on the scene ’cause it feels right / I freakin' scream, baby, all night / I do it, I do it, do it all the time,” but is it a distraction or legitimate attention? I love how this song is the finale because this song is the fireworks that says Remus. All the lyrics really match him, and especially with the “I hear what they call me / I hear what they say / I'm not very cool, yeah / But I'll never change,” it cements how Remus thinks. 

TL:DR: 

Remus is a character deeper than we already know him as. There are a lot of him that hasn’t been introduced to us since he’s pretty new. He has been on for about 2-3 episodes (only 1 with his full participation), and he never really interacted with Roman nor Janus, both who has a history with our little gremlin. Yes, Remus is the Duke of Dark Creativity and intrusive thoughts; there are so many references that are R-rated in this playlist, but in the end, he is another side. He more than the trash boi who gleefully talks about sensitive topics. 

He still has a connection with Roman with all the overlaps in their insecurities and artists, and he’s probably the one who’s more knowledgeable about their relationship as a twin. He could even want to reconcile with his twin, but in a way that Roman would not approve. That doesn’t mean that Remus is kinda mad at Roman. A fun house mirror.

Next, He doesn’t want to change himself in the sake of others although he knows that the others hate him for being him, and he’s actively going against it, not caring about the consequences. That’s what drives him to be really good at his job. He’s as good as Roman on doing his job. Along with that, he wants Thomas to embrace him as one of the sides and come over to the dark side of creativity. It’s one of Remus’ biggest dreams: acceptance. I want to see how this plays out with him and especially him.

Finally, he’s pissed. Very pissed. After all the berating at his back from all the other sides, including Janus, he’s PISSED. He’s ready to throw hands and wreck the world. I’m starting to be worried for how his character would develop. If he goes apesh*t, I’m getting popcorn and coke. Maybe drink every time we see him go feral. Eat a popcorn every time someone is disgusted by Remus. 

Overall, I love him more than I ever did because of this playlist since music is the window to the soul. It’s like knowing a person and learning about them. Also, by doing this, it really develops the character and lets the people look inside the character’s deepest thoughts and desires. I don’t know if there will be any additions to these, but if not, I really want to thank the entire group who made this happen! I found some songs that I really love now, and it’s such a good way for the fanders to have fun! (also, the content inspired from this is going to be very interesting)(the ANGST) 

Thanks for reading if you came til here, and feel free to add on to this! I would love to see how you guys think about this playlist!

[concussed-to-pieces]

The Mettle Of A Man; Part Nineteen

Fandom: Fallout (4)

Pairing: Eventual Paladin Danse/Female Sole Survivor

Rating: Holy shit M.

AN: Welcome, one and all! I hope your day is going well. Tagging @anonymouscosmos​, @culturalrebel​, @mercy-and-malice​, @deepkittycollecto​, @nelba​, @mechanicalism​ and @commandershepardshtole. Enjoy!

Part One: ArcJet

Part Two: The Prydwen

Part Three: Orders

Part Four: Finding Brandis

Part Five: Weston Water And Oberland

Part Six: Meeting Preston And Matthew

Part Seven: Radstag And Radstorm

Part Eight: The Return To Sanctuary Hills

Part Nine: Domestic Ruminations

Part Ten: Institutionalized

Part Eleven: Two Weeks, Three Days

Part Twelve: Haylen’s Warning And The Glowing Sea

Part Thirteen: Under Fire

Part Fourteen: Dichotomy

Part Fifteen: The Litany Trial

Part Sixteen: Nice Try

Part Seventeen: Preparations

Part Eighteen: Divide And Conquer

[!TRIGGER WARNING!: This installment contains distressing flashbacks, gratuitous violence and extreme emotional duress. Stay safe!]

Paladin Logan Danse, pride of the Brotherhood of Steel, had never really considered that he may not be the sharpest tool in the shed. Oh certainly, he had heard many a 'Paladin Dense' joke in his time with the Brotherhood; his name made it far too simple to engage in semi-witty wordplay.

  Here and now though, facing down seven coursers with nothing except his laser rifle and power armor, he was beginning to slightly... slightly doubt his own intelligence. 

  The first courser was managed easily enough, rushing him in a suicidal dash. Danse blew their head off without missing a beat, continuing his march forward. The worst part of it all was the silent hatred he felt radiating from the coursers, like a thick miasma of ill will. He wondered pointlessly whether this was how he would meet his end. Trapped in the sterile halls of the Institute, torn apart by this rabid crew of synth hunters.

  "I escaped from you all before, if your records are accurate." The paladin snarled as two of the coursers vanished into thin air. "I doubt any of you would recall. I myself do not recall much of this place."

  The spinal recalibration chair crouched in the center of the white room, needles gleaming in the brilliant light--

  A laser pinged! off his chest plating and Danse bared his teeth, taking another step forward. "I know all of your weaknesses, every last one of them. You might as well give up and face Commonwealth justice." He advised them sternly, brandishing his laser rifle in further threat. 

  "Forget about him, go and find Vega!" One of the cloaked coursers spat from somewhere behind Danse's back. "Father wants her dea--" The paladin pulled a sharp turn, putting a laser bolt directly through the invisible courser's skull with... alarmingly precise accuracy. Of course, that may have been their tactic to begin with. A body crashed against his back and Danse heard the tell-tale alert beep of an unmounted fusion core.

  "A Brotherhood soldier is nothing without their power armor." The third courser taunted while Danse slowed under the ponderous weight of his armor. However, the courser's confidence was short-lived as the paladin used the little momentum he did have to instead fall backwards, crushing the synth beneath the massive frame of his armor. 

  The fusion core clattered and spun just out of reach on the floor, but Danse didn't even have the time to think about moving to grab it before two coursers were on him. Gloved hands clawed at his helmet; a fist slammed into the side of the metal with a resounding impact. Thank Steel the gorget seal held, and Danse managed to move his arm quickly enough to batter one of the coursers away with the sheer bulk of the gauntlet alone. The courser crashed into the wall and slumped to the ground, lifeless.

  Danse frantically tried to count in his head, tried to recall how many coursers he still had to manage. He could barely move, already stringing himself along on little but adrenaline and the promise of seeing the sun again. How many hours had they been down here? It seemed like an eternity.

  What would the EMP do to him? God, should he even risk it? 

  The paladin dragged himself up onto one knee, scrabbling at his waist for the grenade while that other courser seized the back of his helmet and ripped it off. The crackle of his mouthpiece dislodging itself from the helmet to dangle limp over his gorget seemed almost too loud.

  Danse pulled the pin on the EMP as the square barrel of a laser rifle buried itself beside his ear, and his world went white.

  …

  The smooth, cool surface of the floor that his cheek rested on was the only thing he could feel. 

  - No! Voice cracking, screaming as he was wrestled down into the chair by the scientists, needles punching through his skin until the largest caliber ground into the nape of his neck please don't please don't -

  - No! Cutler shrieking, misshapen green flesh pouring out around the strangling confines of his armor, his eyes gone mad but it's still him it's still him I can't -

  - No! Elizabeth collapsing on top of him, the heat of her blood soaking through his shirt, her whole body thrown between he and Maxson no no no no NO -

  Danse noticed, with a sense of detached horror, that his heart appeared to have stopped. The lack of pulse rang in his ears, one agonal gasp crushed his chest and then another rattled his body while everything in him fought to inhale. His consciousness was fading, flickering out like a candle in a gale as his rate of respiration continued to plummet.

  Elizabeth, I'm so sorry .

  His eyes were heavy, gritty with exhaustion. He should sleep. Just for a moment. 

  "- anse? Danse! Paladin Danse!"

  Someone was yelling his name, and another voice that was closer shouted, "Open fire on the courser! Advance to secure the paladin!"

  Suddenly, his heart shuddered to life, his pulse returning with a vengeance that seemed like it would deafen him. Danse heaved in a gasp of air, wheezing, body awash with clammy sweat as he tried to turn his head. Nausea sent his stomach rolling at the motion and a headache throbbed behind his eyes but he was alive --

  Boots on the floor beside his head, someone standing over his body. "Grab his core and plug it back in! We need to get out of here!" Minutemen, Minutemen . It was Delta squadron doing their final sweep. Muskets roared overhead like death from above, the cacophony serving to further deafen the battered paladin. 

  He forced himself up onto his left elbow so that one of the Minutemen could slam the fusion core home in his back plating. The servos in Danse's armor creaked and groaned once more, and the paladin rose with relative ease. 

  "Our egress has been secured, sir!" A young soldier informed him loudly, her cheek smeared with the blood that trickled from her left ear. 

  Danse, still queasy and unsteady after his near death experience ( had he technically died? Did synths die? ), simply nodded and reached to accept his helmet from another Minuteman. 

  A laser bolt cracked! off the side of the helmet and the Minuteman dropped it in surprise. Danse lurched around, hauling up his gauntlet to shield his head from the next bolt that came. His free hand shot out of its own volition and he grabbed... something , slamming it back against the wall with all his strength 

  The courser flickered into view, Danse's gauntlet wrapped around his throat. The paladin almost wanted to wonder at his good fortune, but then the synth simply evaporated out of his grasp. " Dammit , his emergency relay." Danse swore hoarsely.

  "Sir, we don't have time. The reactor is due to go at any second!" The armored man was all but dragged along, pushed and herded by the soldiers around him. His heart kept skipping beats, leaving him breathless and lightheaded as he struggled to keep up with his battalion.

  "What news do we have of General Vega?" He yelled to anyone that would answer him. The shot from the courser had entirely destroyed what was left of the two-way transmitter in his helmet, rendering him unable to communicate with their main forces.

  "No news, sir! Alpha squadron has already pulled out! We have reports from squadrons Echo, Foxtrot and Golf that synths have been sighted relaying in to their respective territories!" One of the soldiers replied, his tones clipped to be heard over the sound of the cabal's battle-rattle. "No word from Beta squadron on casualties yet, and Charlie is still waiting on us as of two minutes ago!"

  The paladin cursed under his breath, his step hitching and nearly causing him to fall. Elizabeth, please , please be alive! He wasn't sure who he was praying to, or even why the hell he was bothering. He should have known better than to think his foolhardy plan to secure her escape would work.

  Back through the old robotics area they stormed, everyone moving doubletime at this point. Alarms blaring overhead, PA system calmly announcing their fast-diminishing window to flee. Blood trickled down into his eyes from somewhere up on his scalp, stinging badly enough to briefly take Danse's mind off of his other injuries.

  The door at the top of the stairs was wide open, and Danse's relief was crippling when he spied Sturges still at the control panel. The engineer whooped upon seeing the ragged group of men and women. "First in, last out! Now let's get the hell outta' here!" He shouted, waving the soldiers into the relay area. "We only got a minute or so until the whole place goes!"

  Danse opened his mouth to ask whether Sturges had already transported Vega, but he was too late. Blue-white energy crackled and fizzled around him and the next thing he knew, he was being unceremoniously deposited on the ground in the shadow of the Prydwen.

  …

  "General, it's time." Preston said quietly. Backhand stared off into the distance, every fresh crackle of radio static making her heart drop. "We have to get this done. It needs to be finished," he continued when she stayed silent. "If you can't push it, that's fine. I know we did our best." 

  Reports had come in left and right that synths were being sighted across the Commonwealth, emergency relays dropping them in the most random of places. Every squadron had been accounted for, aside from Delta and Charlie. 

  "Did we do the right thing, Preston?" Backhand breathed. "Just think of all the good -"

  "I don't think we'll ever know for certain, General. That's the reality of these kinds of scenarios. But you don't need me to tell you that." Preston interjected, his practical words shoring up her limited resolve. "You want me to do this?"

  Vega closed her eyes, nodding rapidly. She heard the rustle of that outrageous coat, and a moment later there was the soft click of the charge being armed. 

  "It's done, General."

  "Thank you, Preston." Vega sank down on the rooftop, tugging her knees into her chest and burying her face in them. The distant explosion tore a sob from her throat and as the Institute collapsed in on itself, General Vega dissolved into tears.

  It felt like an eternity before Preston coaxed her to her feet, the lieutenant pressing his canteen into her hands. "Drink." He urged, his own eyes less than dry. " Drink , General. You're gonna' be okay. We'll get back to the Prydwen, back to your son. It'll all be just fine."

  "I know." Vega mumbled through a mouthful of stale water, doing her best to ignore the plume of smoke that rose in the distance. "I'm okay, I promise. It's just a lot. I'm okay." She tried to assure Preston, huffing at his watery chuckle.

  "No, you're not. You're exhausted and busted up and scared. This is a hell of a thing we've done, you've done. It's okay to be overwhelmed." Preston reasoned, grimacing. "We've got a decent walk back, if you need to talk."

  "What about you , though? How are you holding up?"

  "I'm not sure if it's real yet." Preston admitted. "It'll take some getting used to. But...I'm glad to know that we don't have to fear the Institute anymore."

  His lapel radio crackled, Pride squadron requesting verification on successful detonation.

  "Relay our message to the Castle: mission accomplished, the Institute has been leveled. I repeat, mission accomplished." Preston replied into the handset, seeming a little shell-shocked at being able to say the words.

  Mission accomplished .

  Backhand sniffled, a new wave of emotion threatening to send her spiraling yet again. 

  Shaun . The synthetic child. A child. A son . A second chance that she didn't deserve.

  She fished the holotape he had given her out of her pocket, slotting it into her Pip Boy after a momentary struggle. To her shock, it was Father's voice that issued from the speaker.

  " If you are hearing this, then whatever conflicts you and I have endured are over… "

  …

  Danse wandered across the airport tarmac, some distant part of him aware that he was in a state of shock. He had dropped his helmet. Where, he couldn't say. His head was still bleeding and he was certain that other areas of his body needed medical attention, but he couldn't seem to get himself to stop searching the area for Elizabeth.

  He hadn't seen her, the child or that courser that had warned them of the ambush. His heart sank as he wondered whether the synth had simply been a tool to get him out of the way, separating the paladin from Vega.

  Why had Vega parted from Alpha squadron in the first place? Oh surely, he knew exactly why. She had wanted to confront that man who had once been her son on her own. But it had been reckless , and it may have cost them dearly. 

  Danse groaned, very nearly attempting to rub his eyes before he remembered he was still in his armor and he would probably blind himself in the process. 

  All around him were wounded Minutemen, scribes and aspirants rushing back and forth to try and mediate the damage that had been done. The synths and scientists were easy to spot, each one clad in brilliant white Institute garb. They huddled together in small groups, some crying, some silent, others staring around wide-eyed in wonder. 

  Danse realized suddenly that this would be the first time many of them had even seen the sun. He must have been like them once, all curiosity and fear. He shook his head, more blood dripping into his eye causing him to wince. The paladin grunted, clumsily smearing the trickle from his hairline across his forehead with his gauntlet. It must be mixing with his sweat. 

  "Danse!" That voice…

  The paladin racked his brain, trying to recall the name of the person who owned the voice. 

  It started with a P. 

  Writing. Writer? Wright .

  Piper?

  The woman materialized out of the throngs of scribes, her cap set at a steep angle. In her hand she clutched a battered notepad, and she waved it furiously as if to get Danse's attention. "Hey, big fella'! Over here!" She called, rocking on her heels impatiently while the paladin trudged towards her. "What the hell happened to you in there? You look like a stretch of lonely road!"

  Danse hiccupped, trying for a salute. His arms felt like lead. "I...There was--I-I was separated-" The words wouldn't come, the paladin still reeling from his near-death experience, the loss of Vega, everything , it was too much.

  Was he crying?  

  "Oh Danse, hey, c'mon, easy." Piper soothed, one hand tentatively hovering over his right gauntlet. "It's okay big fella', it's alright." 

  Danse shook his head, utterly mortified as he tried to regulate his sobs. 

  "I was about to ask for a full run-down from a tactical perspective. Y'know, to uh, ease the fears of the Commonwealth populace at large. but I can see that you're in a...er, state right now." Her attempt at delicacy didn't go unnoticed and Danse gritted his teeth. His hands clenched into tight fists as he fought to get himself back under control. These damn emotions-!

  "The operation appears to have been successful." He rasped finally. "We are still...waiting on confirmation. But I am c--I am confident in our success. I am...uncertain of our losses. My two-way was destroyed in the fracas." He gestured at the mangled mess of wires and what was left of the coupling attached to his gorget. God only knew where he had dropped his helmet, but it didn't really matter. If the coursers tearing it off of him hadn't broken the two-way wholly, that final laser had finished the job. "I have no method of communication, I'm afraid. We should...we should find the field scribes and comms."

  Danse could feel the haze of trauma dissipating the longer he spoke, the tactical compartmentalization that had served him so well taking over once more. There would be time later to mourn what he had lost. Right now, it was the Brotherhood's sworn duty to ensure that the Commonwealth remained safe and, more importantly, informed .

  "Come with me, Miss Wright." He ordered, using the advantage of his height to search for the elevated ground of their radio shelter.

  "It's Piper ."

  …

  Vega's boots kicked up a cloud of dust, her footsteps weary. Preston was silent alongside her, the young man clearly deep in thought. Backhand was still reeling from the holotape, Father's words playing over and over in her mind...

  I had hoped to gift this child to you as some sort of consolation for losing me all those years ago, but your actions have proven you unreasonable. If you are hearing this message, no doubt you have found this unit's corpse and stripped it clean.

  Did you think I had no idea you were working with the Brotherhood? The Railroad? You cannot be so naive, Mother. I am merely stunned that it took you so long to gather your forces.

  On the off chance that your bloodlust can be slaked before the total destruction of everything I have built, I would ask that you still take this...synth. This boy, rather, as you would no doubt insist on calling him, has been programmed to believe he is your son. Should he survive you and whatever rampant destruction you have planned, I ask that you raise him as your own. 

  You have no real reason to do so, of course. There would be no tangible benefit, and I know all too well of your callous disregard for life.

  Sleep easy tonight, knowing that you've rid the Commonwealth of its greatest hope for prosperity.

  Backhand cleared her throat. "Preston, do you-" She hesitated. "What if I'm not...what if I'm not cut out for this mom stuff? What if all I'm good for is military shit?" The woman asked plaintively. "I was willing to do anything for my son, back before the bombs dropped. But now...I mean, what the hell kind of life can I even offer to the...to Shaun?"

  "A life at all, I suppose. The freedom to choose." 

  Backhand closed her eyes, forcing a breath out. "Yeah?"

  "Yeah. I think so, anyway. You've fought so hard for folks you don't even know, General! And it isn't like you'd be doin' it alone." Preston reasoned with a smile. "If it seems a little too overwhelming, just remember: there at a moment's notice . We're with you, no matter what."

  "I was kinda' hoping I'd put you guys out of a job!" Vega tried to joke.

  "Nah, we've still got a lot of work to do. Commonwealth's a big place, General." Preston patted her shoulder, waving to the sentries on the Brotherhood retaining walls at the airport. Far overhead loomed Liberty Prime, all gangly steel limbs as its head slowly turned back and forth in a scanning motion.

  Vega began skimming the crowds of wounded from force of habit, her eyes stopping dead at the sight of a black leather coat.

  X6-88 . The courser looked dazed, a singular patch of reddened gauze gracing his forehead. His body was still wrapped protectively around the child, around Shaun , who seemed to be sound asleep. The synth kept snarling at anyone who got too close. Vega wondered who on earth had managed to dress his head. Had someone just tossed him a gauze pack and fled in terror?

  She received her answer a second later as Curie emerged from the crowd, the young woman sporting her usual nearly-spotless white coat to denote her medical ability. X6 would have known her by a different name, however.

  G5-19 . 

  Backhand's heart broke at the way that the courser was obviously struggling to contain himself, the general watching Curie swap out the soaked gauze for a fresh bandage. When Curie reached for Shaun though, X6 said something to her that made her tilt her head in confusion.

  "- know me? Monsieur Courser, I am afraid I do not have zee pleasure." She was saying as Vega and Preston drew within earshot.

  "You were...in the Institute, I...we knew each other." X6 replied in a fragmentary fashion.

  "Ah! I must apologize, Monsieur Courser. I am afraid zat zis body was wiped nearly clean when I acquired it. Zee original owner was in a catatonic state. Somezing about EMP grenades and raiders, if I recall." The former Nanny bot squinted at the courser, pursing her lips. "And yet, you are... strangely familiar! Ah, zis body is a marvel." She continued cheerily, producing two small, plastic-wrapped snack cakes from her doctor's coat. "One for you, and one for zee child when he wakes." 

  X6-88 accepted the prepackaged treats with a nod, spotting Elizabeth over Curie's shoulder. "General Vega, is it?" The courser asked, his voice weary.

  "How you holdin' up, X6?" Vega queried in turn, startled when the killing machine offered her a tight-lipped nod.

  "The wound is not too grievous, even with the limited amount of medical prowess it seems the surface has. She appears to believe I will survive."

  "Madame Vega, it is such a relief to see you in one piece!" Curie exclaimed warmly, the synth hauling her into a hug and planting a kiss on either cheek. "It would appear your mission was a success, yes?"

  "I'd say so." Preston answered for Vega, the lieutenant observing the courser with a fair amount of trepidation. "General, are you sure you...uh. Well, y'know."

  "Lieutenant Garvey," Preston flinched when X6 used his name, "If I intended to cause you harm, you would already be dead." 

  Remarkably , that attempt at reassurance did very little, and Vega smacked herself on the forehead as Preston went a touch gray. "You sure keep some interesting company, General." He commented, his voice cracking.

  "Listen, I said you'd be safe and I'm a woman of my word. But please don't give any of these Brotherhood weirdos an excuse to shoot you." Backhand requested of the courser. "If you want, I'll take over on babysitting duty and you can get the hell out of here. I know it probably feels like you're sitting in the middle of a hornet's nest."

  X6-88 hesitated, his eyes darting to Curie and then back to the general. "I will stay, ma'am." He answered her staunchly, looking weary all of a sudden.

  "Okay. But if you do want to leave, just have them walkie for me. Find basically anyone with a radio. You don't have to stay if you don't want to, I need that to be clear. You're free to go wherever you want, X6."

  "I…" The courser's brow furrowed and he merely nodded silently after a moment, readjusting his grip on the sleeping Shaun. 

  Vega knew she had so much to do, so much to continue planning, but she took a self-indulgent second to brush Shaun's hair back out of his eyes. Dark, dark brown, almost black, just like his father…

  Elizabeth smiled sadly, and then set off in the direction of the communications tent.

  …

  "No word from her yet, sir. Lieutenant Garvey told us of the success of the mission, but it is unclear if she is with him or not." 

  The field scribe's words burrowed into Danse's gut like a knife. Fear, anxiety, the unstoppable creeping sensation of realizing that he had been too late or not enough -

  The paladin shoved the emotions down, all too aware of Piper waiting at his elbow with baited breath. "The reports from the other squadrons then, Scribe."

  "Emergency relays began to activate at five minutes to meltdown, sir. Several synths were spotted in the outskirts of Diamond City and were quickly scooped up by the citizens of Goodneighbor, or Golf squadron, in conjunction with John D.'s forces." The young man replied, tugging one side of his headset off of his ears. "Foxtrot and Echo encountered the most resistance, as a platoon of coursers and gen one synths were sent to both the Castle and Bunker Hill. It seems that both locations held out well. Minimal casualties reported."

  "What's your take on this whole situation, bud? Would you consider this a victory?" Piper asked, leaning around Danse to speak with the scribe. "Enquiring minds want to know!"

  "I-I am not at liberty to pass judgement, civilian, b-but it seems that the operation has gone well!" The scribe stammered, darting his eyes at Danse as if fearful of the paladin's discipline.

  Danse snorted, a touch amused despite the distress that threatened to engulf him. Piper was far more formidable than a cursory glance would assume. It wasn't Danse that this young man needed to be concerned about.

  The doorway at the other end of the tent was flung open, sunset light pouring in with the influx of more bodies from the triage area. Danse didn't really pay any mind to it, more invested in hearing the rest of the field scribe's report. 

  That is, until a certain voice broke through the dull roar of radio static and muffled transmissions. "I need news of Delta squadron!" Vega barked, "particularly of Paladin Danse! Who has eyes on Danse?"

  The scribe across from the dumbfounded paladin looked up at him slack-jawed, then bolted to his feet. "G-General Vega, ma'am! The paladin-!"

  "Elizabeth." Danse breathed, his voice nearly inaudible as he straightened up from the table. 

  When her eyes met his, it was as if something broke inside him. Danse covered the ground between them in a heartbeat, gathering her into a fierce, armored embrace. " Logan! " Vega cried, her arms flinging open to cling to his sides. He almost dared to believe that she sounded relieved or delighted . "You're okay, you're okay, thank fuck ." She mumbled against his breastplate, clutching the lucky bandanna she had tied to his arm like she wasn't sure if he was real. "We did it, we did it, holy shit." 

  Vega appeared to be in a state of shock, finally lifting her head from Danse's chest when Piper hollered, "Blue!", the reporter hugging her from behind and sandwiching the general between herself and Danse. 

  Danse's heart ached as he watched Vega dissolve into tears, Piper gripping her tight and his own hold unwavering. Preston entered the tent as well, the younger man clapping Danse on the pauldron to congratulate him on his survival.

  We did it .

Part Twenty

[the-phoenix-heart]

Sorting Hat Chats - Animaniacs

THOSE ARE THE FACTS!

(How did you know I was working on this?)

Anyway, welcome to my new hyperfixation! So obviously I decided to sort them. Description of the system I’m using here as sometimes. 

Also, the movie Wakko’s Wish has questionable canonicity, seeing as it takes place in another universe and it could said is just a movie the Animaniacs did in universe, but seeing as this was made by the same people as an excuse to give their characters a happy ending after the cancelation of the show-I’m going to say it counts for characterization. They’re pretty much the same characters, just in a different story. 

I should also mention that as toons, they’ve modeled every secondary out there, so their secondary sorting is to find their actual sorting under all the modeling and performance. 

YAKKO WARNER was the easiest to sort. He’s a Snake primary, here for his family, maybe Dr. Scratchansniff, and that’s about it. He’s the oldest, it makes sense. I mean, in Wakko’s Wish he literally gets a promotion to parent. That scene at the beginning where he and Dot are just sitting at the train station, implied to be sleeping there to, as they wait for Wakko to get home-FOR AN ENTIRE YEAR-it’s so soft and easy to forget about with later scenes but it shows how much they love him. 

Anyway, Yakko is extremely protective and needs to be around his family. His fear in the IT parody is being alone with no one to talk to him, and his first worry after is he funny is where his siblings have been. Plus, he doesn’t really show a strong preference for the rest of the primaries. 

I know that the first thought for the Animaniacs is that he’s a Snake secondary like Bugs Bunny, but remember, they’ve had every secondary as a model/performance ever. Yakko, I believe, is a Bird secondary through and though. 

Yakko has the most songs of his siblings, and seeing as a joke in the reboot was that he kept trying to sing his educational songs and he kept getting interrupted-he clearly loves doing them. Yakko’s World, Every Word in the English Dictionary, Time, Multiplication, these are things that he clearly studied for the songs and require extreme memorization (I mean every country in the world and every world in the english language??). He also almost always has his lines memorized, and his sister’s, and probably Wakko’s. Part of his problem with Nicklewise is the fact that no one is acknowledging what he’s saying, and then he’s tongue tied. One of the first things he does when he gets back to the lot is swallow a tablet and learns everything about the past 22 years. 

When describing himself in “To be like us” he literally starts it off, “To be like me? Well buddy here’s the key/use the pen not the sword when you’re in a fight.” 

When he does just charge in like a Lion he loses. Plus, dad jokes and puns are just a Bird thing. If you have a Bird secondary you are going to have an appreciation for wordplay, trust me I’m a Bird secondary. 

DOT WARNER is an actual Snake secondary. She’s the unprepared one. She doesn’t know her lines, and she didn’t practice her song on the first ladies before she sung it, which is how she learns that you cannot give a significant amount of time to each first lady in two minutes-and she didn’t even remember them all. 

This exchange is peak Bird v. Snake:

Dot: “It’s a little ditty I’ve composed detailing the accomplishments of the women behind the men...Every single first lady of the United States of America! Please put two minutes on the clock!” Yakko: “Oh, no no no no no. Hold on. You’re going to sing about every First Lady in two minutes? Have you practiced this?” Dot, possibly sarcastic but probably telling the truth: “Well no, I have not.”

She’s also the one who always uses how cute she is to get people to do what she wants. The big scene of Wakko’s Wish is Dot pretending to die so effectively that she fooled everyone but (maybe) Yakko and Wakko, and even made the guy who “killed” her feel remorse for his actions. Also, in the intro she’s described in the original as cute and in the new one as witty-which that combination feels very Snake. 

Unlike her brother Dot is a Lion primary. It might be a new addition for the reboot, but if she wasn’t originally a Lion primary I think this is just a case of character progression. In the show she calls out people for being sexist or mansplaining, and (possibly my favorite segment) has her singing about women getting the right to vote. The great thing is that this segment addresses the fact that just because women got the right to vote didn’t mean every woman could vote, because she finds out that as a toon she can’t vote. In less than a day she brings together Looney Toons and Hanna Barbera cartoons to go to Washington and lobby congress for the right to vote. And wins. 

Yeah, Dot don’t play around. Also she calls out fear-mongering (Had to fit that in somewhere). 

WAKKO WARNER (YES I KNOW HE’S THE MIDDLE CHILD BUT HE HAS THE LONGEST SECTION) was the hardest for me to sort out. Literally of course. He didn’t feel like any of the primaries to me for a while and what I really needed to look at was Wakko’s Wish. In Wakko’s Wish he’s the one telling everyone that they have to keeping hoping for something better and never give up while his siblings seem to be more out for themselves. Wakko’s the one who interacts most with the town as a whole. He gives Plotz a drink of the elixir after Plotz just tried to murder him and his siblings. There’s also a good argument to be made that Wakko wished for the ability to give everyone in the town what they wanted. He didn’t need to wish for a second ha’ penny, but he has it and it helps the town return to prosperity, which is why I rule him as a Badger primary. 

You can also notice it in the original series with how he interacts with other people, but we don’t have enough time to talk about that since we still have to talk about his secondary. Fucking hell his secondary. Wakko’s secondary is the hardest to parse out of them all. It’s opposite problem I had with his primary, he fits all of them. 

Like I said earlier, they have models for all the secondaries because they’re toons and they have to get into a lot of situations. But there are certain secondaries they favor over others which help you to see what the real secondary there is under all the models and performances. But the problem I ran into with Wakko is he uses all of them at a ready amount!

I first considered that he was a Bird secondary because of his gag bag, or the clown episode with his extremely well thought out ideas on how to torture the poor clown (don’t feel too sorry for him he’s very annoying), and segments like Wakko’s Gizmo. In Wakko’s Gizmo he builds this very overly complicated and super badass device just so he can make a whoopie cushion go off. But that was what tipped me off, it’s a toy. Wakko’s Bird secondary is just a model he has as a toy, something to have fun with (I won’t say he got it from Yakko but he got it from Yakko). Plus, Wakko’s just to intuitive and spontaneous for an actual Bird secondary. The way he uses his gag bag is just in a way where he just understands what to get. 

The fact that that he’s very intuitive with his gag bag and impulsive also set me off that he wasn’t a Badger secondary. Of all the secondaries he uses this one the least in the original series. However, interestingly, this is the only secondary he uses in Wakko’s Wish. He works his ass off for a year to make a ha’ penny to pay for Dot’s operation, he makes the wish on the star, he plays sort of a peace maker with the town and others. It’s something he used more specifically for that movie though.

The big debate was whether he was a Snake or a Lion, but-BUT-I’m gonna be kind of controversial and say that he has a Lion secondary. Yes-he’s very situational, but his go to course of action is to hit people with his mallet. Plus, the way he uses his gag bag is he just goes for it, because he feels it. He’s always in the moment, which is how he’s able to use his gag bag. Also, there’s a difference between the way Dot and he usually do things, if they were both Snake secondaries they’d look more similar, but they don’t. And he doesn’t always have what’s needed for the situation, he needs to feel around for it. I could be talked into a Snake secondary but for now I’m pretty happy with Lion. 

So...

Yakko Warner - Snake primary/Bird secondary, has all models and performances

Dot Warner - Lion primary/Snake secondary, has all models and performances

Wakko Warner - Badger primary/Lion secondary, has all models and performances (specifically uses his Badger secondary model in Wakko’s Wish, and specifically uses his Bird secondary model as a toy)

[enemyofrome]

dear yuletide author

Hello, Yuletide Author!

Thank you so much for writing for me! I hope you have fun with this, and I’m already super excited to read whatever you come up with! :D

Things I like: enemies-to-lovers, enemies-as-lovers, subtle humour, competence kink, characters who appear imperturbable or flippant but are riddled with painful vulnerabilities, and the reluctant showing of that vulnerability. I’ll read anything from plotty intrigue to plotless fluff. Also 1000000% here for AUs (modern, ancient, coffee shop, soulmate, whatever) and crossovers between any or all of my requested fandoms. Historical accuracy appreciated; historical liberties welcome.

Things I’d rather not read: original characters in a major role, genderbends unless specified, A/B/O, conflicts based on misunderstandings or romantic jealousy.

Things I don’t want to read: “period-typical” misogyny/homophobia, graphic violence or torture, erasure of canonical disabilities, animal death, incest, rape, abusive relationships. Toxic family dynamics are a particular trigger and I’d rather a fic not focus on them too much, even if it’s canon. I read all ratings, but I tend to skim sex scenes unless they do something for plot and characterisation.

Past letters: 2020 | 2019 | 2017 

Requests:

1. Punic Wars RPF (Hannibal Barca)

I love that Hannibal was not only good at War Things but extremely well-read and erudite; he spoke multiple languages, wrote treatises in Greek, enjoyed wordplay and snark, etc, and was a grumpy introvert who disliked posturing and had to be wheedled away from his work to go to banquets and such.

Competence kink is what I’m saying. Competence kink.

(I love all of the Barcids, and would happily read anything about any of them, so don’t feel like you have to focus exclusively on the Hannibabe himself!)

Ideas:

I ship Hannibal and Scipio to hell and back but would also enjoy them as best friends/frenemies with benefits/partners-in-crime etc, though I would rather you not pair them with anyone else but each other. (That being said, Scipio is optional. Rome is optional. War is optional. If you wanted to write a fic that focused exclusively on Hannibal and his family, I’d be so down.)

This is a fandom where I’d particularly appreciate light-heartedness, not least because Hannibal was a historically attested Little Shit with a wicked sense of humour. Sibling bonding! Cracky extended family gatherings! Giving Romans aneurysms! Giving his allies aneurysms!

Honest efforts at historical accuracy will be very, very appreciated, but I would also enjoy alternate universes of any sort. Modern AU! Space AU! Carthage Wins AU! Etc. (Just no The Barcids As Romans AUs, please.)

If you're looking for more inspiration, or just eye candy, here's a docudrama starring Alexander Siddig as Hannibal. There's also Extra History for a quick and humorous if not wholly accurate crash course on the First and Second Punic Wars, featuring some adorable stick figures. And here’s my Punic Wars tag on tumblr, where I yell often and copiously.

(Don’t erase Hannibal’s canonical disability, please! See above for more detailed DNWs.)

2. Howl Series - Diana Wynne Jones (Howl Pendragon)

Ideas:

A pre-canon fic set in Wales would be amazing. What was Howl like in university? We know from DWJ that he majored in philosophy—why? Did he ever finish writing his dissertation on spells? When did he first know he was a wizard? How, exactly, did he find the door to Ingary? Was he telling the truth when he said he never met Suliman in Wales? (My ship of choice is Howl x Ben Suliman—my take on it here and here—and I would literally liquefy if you wrote this for me, but you don't have to.)

Howl's early years in Ingary are also really interesting to me. Like, it can't have been easy setting up a life in an entirely new world where he had no money and didn't know anyone. How did he get by? Why on earth did he catch Calcifer? Did he have to use Sophie's cayenne pepper trick a lot when he was first "starting out in a small way"? How did he meet Mrs. Pentstemmon? How many aunts brained him with their frying pans for seducing their niblings?

Or something that fills in the gaps in HMC. Sophie is a really unreliable narrator at the best of times, which is one of the most intriguing and frustrating things about the book, because there's so much we just don't know. What was Howl doing behind the scenes to try and save Suliman and Justin? Where did he really go when he was supposedly out courting? What were his first impressions of Sophie (besides DEATH BY CLEANING)? When did he fall in love with her?

(My HMC tag is here!)

3. Lymond Chronicles - Dorothy Dunnett (Francis Crawford of Lymond)

Ideas:

Injury! Sickfic! Huddling for warmth with a person of your choice! In a series that is about 99 parts hurt to one part comfort, I will take all of the hurt/comfort tropes, romantic or platonic. (The scene in Game of Kings where Richard nurses Lymond back to health is one of my most favourites --  it’s quite possibly the point where I was like, oh no, this series is going to be ingrained in my brain forever.)

Any sort of AU where Lymond and Marthe grow up together/are raised as siblings, and get up to all kinds of shenanigans. (Unpopular opinion: Marthe is one of my favourite characters, and while you don’t need to include her at all, I’d love it if you did!)

An exploration of the many, many people who had fleeting (or not-so-fleeting) crushes on Lymond, and perhaps even his perspective on said crushes -- I’m talking Will, Jerott, Mariotta, Mikal, etc.

Something stupidly, unapologetically cracky, that makes it impossible to take Lymond seriously. Because let’s face it, we deserve it. A wild sheep chase? Some ridiculous harebrained plan to accomplish some impossibly obscure objective? Lymond accidentally discovering the one thing on earth he’s not good at? Bonus points if Philippa has to rescue him, and someone ends up under the table laughing.

(Dorothy Dunnett tag here and here!)

[mercuryislove]

I love hearing about your characters soooo... 7, 41, and 43 for that OC questions thing! Feel free to answer for any character. I’m sure the answer will be super interesting no matter who it’s about 😊

sorry it took me so damn long to respond to this lol i kept wanting to sit down to answer it and then other shit came up but! i’m here now at 1am or so so i’m sure i’ll answer this fully coherently.

i’m going to answer these about Anwei bc you said you were her fan :)

7. what makes them laugh?

even though she pretends to be very calm and collected and cool, she has an extremely colorful sense of humor! she loves puns and wordplay and will laugh her ass off at dirty jokes. she also loves to roast people to hell and back to the point that people have had to ask her to tone it down because sometimes her words cut too damn deep :c also like. if vine existed, her favorite would be the “welcome to my kitchen” one

41. what would a cry for help look like from them?

UM. this is tough to answer. Anwei is one of the most aloof people on the planet. she hardly ever asks for help for ANYTHING (or wants it, for that matter). typically, no matter how much she is struggling she will NOT reach out and instead internalizes everything (wow please get therapy). most of that stems from the fact that she’s a leader and doesn’t ever want to show what she considers to be her own weakness, but it also comes from her deep-seated fear of... well. I guess rejection isn’t the right word for it. basically she doesn’t want to be shamed and denied the help she asks for so she has learned simply to NOT ask for it. SO. that’s a very long-winded way of saying that if Anwei asks for help at all, then she is desperately crying out for it. everyone that knows her well knows she Really Means It when she asks for help in any situation.

43. what do they see as their biggest weakness?

ANOTHER TOUGH ONE. if you asked Anwei herself, she would probably say something like “i put my duty before everything always” or some bullshit, but as the author i would say it’s probably her neverending need to remain detached. she does NOT allow herself to get close to people easily. she keeps everyone except her brother ciaran and a select few people (like three or four) at arm’s length and doesn’t even try to open up to others. she tells herself it’s the right thing to do because like. when you live forever what’s the point of opening up and getting close to and making friends with people that are only going to live for a mere fraction that you do? at the same time though she is constantly jealous of ciaran because he doesn’t give a fuck about that and makes friends everywhere he goes and she sits in the corner at parties and is like “why won’t these people stop worshiping the idea of me and just be my friend :/”