#alchoholism

[astralfandoms]

Father's Day Headcanons

we were thinking about the different managers/bosses and how they interact with their fathers so let's gooo

Duck Shuffler: Has no memory of what his father was like because orphan so is honestly just confused about the hype around it. Usually hangs out with Graham, Dave, and Flint during the day.

Prethinker: Has an awful relationship with his father so is extremely hostile/hates people who have a good relationship with theirs (ex. Cosmo, Cathal)

Derrick Man: Has a lukewarm relationship with his father so calls for formality's sake but doesn't do anything otherwise.

Rainmaker: Has a single mother whose father was never there so never celebrated

Deep Diver: Has two mothers so never celebrated Father's Day

Land Acquisition Architect: Has two fathers who he loves very much and they love him back lots so he goes to visit them every year.

Gatekeeper: Her father is on thin ice and will go dinner with him but will be in a bad mood for the rest of the day (usually solved with sparring)

Witch Hunter: Likes his father but never visits him due to his poor relationship with his mother so just handwrites and sends a card.

Public Relations Representative: Parents are long dead and doesn't talk about it unless pressed (usually in the form of riddles).

Bellringer: Laments the fact that he has a bad relationship with his father but tries not to be too bitter about others having a good relationship with theirs. Keyword: tries.

Multislacker: Usually spends half of the day with either dad before they have a family dinner together at the end of the day.

Senior Vice President: Is the father! Spoils his husband rotten in an effort to not think of his own father.

Mouthpiece: Spends the whole day with her husband and kids, spoiling her husband so that he doesn't have to do anything strenuous the whole day. Usually is too distracted by her kids and husband to think about her not-too-great father.

Major Player: Has a great relationship with his dad and usually has a family brunch with his father and then chills with Buck, Graham, and Flint for the rest of the day.

Chief Financial Officer - Buys things to cope with the fact that he hates his parents and his parents hate him the same.

Firestarter - Has a bad relationship with his father due to him being unaccepting of who Flint is. Usually spends the day with Graham, Buck, and Dave to keep his mind off of it, though.

Plutocrat: Usually is too busy to visit his fathers but usually calls and has gifts delivered to his parents' house because they have a pretty good relationship.

Chief Legal Officer: Has a cordial lunch with her father but otherwise doesn't do anything for Father's Day due to her uneasy relationship with him.

Treekiller: Has a great relationship with his parents and usually drags Chip to go see them (his parents also love Chip).

Chainsaw Consultant: Doesn't have a good relationship with his own father so usually goes to see Spruce's instead.

Chief Executive Officer: Drinking. Lots and lots of drinking to forget.

Featherbedder: Visits parents' and husband's graves with his children and grandkids. Otherwise just burns a candle in remembrance of them.

Pacesetter: Blocked his parents out of his memory so just doesn't have many feelings about his father. Tends to hang around Buck, Dave, and Flint during the day to help cheer Flint up.

[madame-helen]

[tea-and-secrets]

My moms an alcoholic and I feel terrible because she’s been sober for a month but I still hate her and think she’ll relapse. I can’t shake off all the things she’s done while drunk she gets violent but police don’t do shit cause she’s a white woman

.

[thenumberfives]

take a swig for all the foamstars out there

[schmedterlingfreud]

🏥🩹🍶🍲🖌📓

膵臓がこわれたら、少し生きやすくなりました • My Pancreas Broke But My Life Got Better by Kabi Nagata

[aquato-family-circus]

i think my hcs abt truman's age kinda conflict with other ppl's so i feel like outlining it. take my hand, see my vision

- Truman's born to his mom, Barb, and a dad whom I don't name bc like w/e

- He's around 10 when his Grandma Tia dies and he first meets a 18 to 20-something Uncle Bob at the funeral

- the two interact sporatically over the next 10 years as Bob oscillates between connecting w/Barb again, hanging out with Truman and maybe even babysitting the kid til he's old enough to be at home alone -- or Bob getting drunk, and isolating himself, and Barb/Truman not hearing for him for stretches of time

- When Bob's in his early 30s - Truman, 18-19, he moves away to join some research group in green needle national park

- Truman decides to go visit a few years later and meets all of Bob's little psychic friends, starts getting into the research aspect and decicates the rest of his schooling to psychic-subjects

- The deluge happens when Truman's in his late 20s/early 30s

- so Truman in the current day is in his mid-late 40s ish

[sunbugg]

How Iifes been feeling

[bananitryithegoatman]

[glassheartstonesoul]

the way westerners demonize cigarettes but will drink themselves into an early grave like bitch ??? both are bad for u

[timetravelingthroughspace]

I see now that I was the monster.

I don’t know how to fix that. Fix the past, or assure anyone, or free them of the negativity of all that.

I know only that more self-reflection is necessary to fix me.

There is in me a very hurt, paranoid, manipulative, controlling, insecure, hateful person.

I don’t know what all underlies that. Why I’ve felt that way. I only know that feeling those things isn’t what I wanted.

So I disassociated. Disavowed.

I think alcoholism at some point became the means by which I could “safely” feel those things. I could feel them and forget them.

That seems correct, anyway. It’s difficult to be sure, I just know that the voice of those feelings would speak and write to others in my most blacked out states.

The things I didn’t want to feel I made others feel.

Hangovers were a kind of shell, protection from feeling and recognizing what I’d done.

Unable to recognize what I’d done because doing so threatened to reveal to me what I didn’t wish to feel.

But now I see how that made the world close in around me. I was more in control than I realized. I was the monster terrorizing me.

I hope this is the last time death drives me.

No more psychonautical psychodrama.

No more projection.

I’m so very sorry.

I’m so much closer now than I ever have been.

I hope I won’t fail again.

[vividviolence]

mfw the cool sideblog name I thought up is taken by some inactive account with zero fucking posts

[theomnicode]

Burden of prophetic sight

I'm checking out our national hymns and shit because it's our national day in 3 days and all of a fucking sudden, I'm punched in the gut about the knowledge of what could have scared Psykos so fucking badly that she refused to talk about and she wanted to stop remembering it and she looked like death warmed over in webcomic.

What would be the worst thing you could see in the future? To you personally and not distantly enough to just ignore if it's too impersonal and wanting to forget it?

What would evoke your survival instincts down to the core in effort to prevent it from happening?

Your own inevitable death and your worst fears.

That is the burden of possessing the ability to see to the future. To see not just your own death, but also the death of everyone else and your loved ones.

She probably saw her own death at Tatsumaki's hands here or Fubuki's death. Or both.

And in the manga...I wonder if it's the same but this time, false memory that were implanted to her head. Or she saw her own demise in the hands of the Tsukuyomi group.

Lady shibabawa died after she had looked into the crystal ball and predicted Earth was in danger, because she took on a cough drop after that and then choked on it, but was still able to write down the prophecy.

Somehow. Not likely.

I think...she made her own prophecy to come true. Or that she wanted to avoid a far worse fate because the prophecy scared her so and she wanted to go out on her own terms because she was already old. She even had assistants around who would've made sure that she'd get help upon seeing she was choking. But that did not apparently happen and they just...let her choke and write her message.

So what is the timeline when she made that prophecy again?

The moment when Saitama realized that he had started caring about potential casualties again. That he would do anything in his power to prevent it from happening.

(haha ominous moon haha)

When the sky was still dark with clouds during daytime.

(Saitama does not consciously even remember Satoru, because he never sees his full face I bet. And Satoru does not remember Saitama back from school because Saitama does not have hair. But the subconscious does.)

(Inb4 Saitama and Satoru used to date too, like Psykos and Fubuki have implied relationship.)

(Purple colour scheme is often used to depict evil in japanese anime, like sasuke's curse mark had evil purple aura on it, but also: "As in the West, purple stands for royalty in Japanese culture. It is also considered the color of warriors, symbolizing strength. Purple flowers are very popular too" So you could say that Saitama gets strenght to protect in that scene from his conviction to care.)

--

I thought of this because my SO shared with me his thoughts about:

Michael Hartnett's poem of Sibelius in Silence.

Irish drunk and disorderly writer writes from Finland and about himself and sibelius at the same time hartnett is Irish but grew up in England, speaks English and never felt welcome among the Irish irish was not his mother tongue Sibelius was a Finn but grew up in Sweden, spoke Swedish, never felt welcome among Finns… both were alcoholics who drank themselves to death and hartnett foresaw his own death and equated it with the death of Sibelius in that poem there's nothing left but hands shaking with drunkenness, no swans of hell, no sketches (luonnotar, virgin of air, this is a wordplay), no compositions

(The black swan of tuonela reference and Saivo-lake, tuonela as concept meaning both heaven/hell, the afterlife)

"vodka ebbs in tremors from my hand" is fucking brilliant that part of yourself that hasn't disappeared yet, no matter how ethereal, you still feel it when it's still there despite everything. OR ether (aether) no matter how puffed up you are, yeah, I'm still there, yeah, hic wakes up at night at odd hours because genius is a burden and inspiration comes at any moment and voila, finlandian magic is just out of thin air OR can't sleep because drunken insanity ruins your sleep completely and solves the problem by pulling out a bottle of Finlandia

Me: or did he get his strength from the concept of finlandia that hasn't left him yet? SO: or the fact that it listens to finlandia, if you think from hartnet's point of view yeah me: what did he want the anthem to represent SO: you can think of it that way but that whole last verse is a double-meaning at the same time that it hasn't lost itself and is still creating art which was true for both of them. and at the same time that he has completely lost himself to alcoholism and is nothing more than that which was also true for both of them fucking brilliant and rough as fuck ;_;

SO: I suppose that being undead there's not much to life, a soul is needed for loving, feeling

Funnily enough, my SO also pointed out that Saitama's dream being a forewarning of Saitama losing himself, things that are important to him and his being when I said that he prolly foresaw the loss of his self and people who were important to him like Genos, is akin to conspiracy theory and ahaha...this personality type has a tendency to get caught up in conspiracy theories.

I mean, I can pull out outrageous meta which sound like conspiracy theories (like this one) out of thin air. Woosh.

Because cognitive bias is seeking out patterns even when there is none. xd

(I swear I'm just doing this for fun and not seeking out if there is a hidden conspiracy theory. I am making up shit though)

--

Unfortunately, how does this relates to Saitama?

Chances are, he has already intuitively foreseen his own death, at some subconscious level. Because he started to care again. Since he knows himself well enough that he would know that if he started to care about people again to the degree that he now cares for Genos, he would sacrifice himself for them, because of his caring nature and not having any self-worth.

(Thanks Murata-sensei, I can now see the tired, dark bottom eyelids that are only more pronounced in versus Garou.)

(Ugh now I'm crying again)

(The wounded healer archetype is to be self-sacrificial.)

Or that he will come to consciously see his own demise/fears at some point, when his third eye that is referenced to exist in the Orochi fight opens.

(I bet we will revisit the demise of Orochi as well....thanks Murata-sensei for the hint...)

Saitama is willfull. But what he is susceptible to doing is chasing dopamine highs and addictions. Adrenaline. Gambling. Spontaneously buying some weird shit. Indulging himself with his favourite foods. Because depressed people often are susceptible to doing that stuff because of dopamine deficiency to get dopamine fix.

Including binge drinking alchohol.

Fate can be changed though, due to intervention. Just like Saitama is intervening on Psykos' fate.

But yea, turning to alchoholism would probably be the way for Saitama to try and forget if say, he somehow accidentally managed to kill Genos, if Genos happened to be say, not in complete control of his faculties. Saitama is motivated to forget all sorts of bad stuff even at the cognitive level.

Or hell, feeling guilt over pushing Genos into being a bloody hero, like how Genos decided to confront Awakened Garou while only being a torso. Or worse, compelling him to be self-sacrificial and heroic because of his divine power.

--

One thing for sure though, Saitama seems to be a person who has the capacity of changing the fate of people around him.

Because conveniently, prophecies can't be trusted. But they sure can become self-fulfilling.

[bigfuckingcrab]

Gonna be streaming at 11PM PDT so for any other late night FREAKS out there

Come watch me drink myself to death 🤣🔥🌿🚬✝️🙌

[progrockers]

Yeah Kendricks Swimming Pools (Drank)

[remembertheplunge]

March 22, 1995 10:20pm

“John Roster called. “You been drinking, Lewey? You don’t want to end up like me. Two drinking driving convictions. That was a warning Call. He almost convinced me to quit drinking again. I feel physically jammed and achy now as a result of booze, caffeine and work hell. How can I ignore a fellow human’s call in the rainy night? John  said “I know you, because I know me.” Interesting he knows it’s ok to call this late on a rainy night. How did he know it’s ok? Why did I feel warmth at his call?

“A set up to drink” he called my impending San Diego journey. I said “the magic is out of the drink for me.”  He replied “There is no magic in the drink. I grow fatter with each swallow.”

I said “I’m trying to figure out my life.” He said “Don’t stay out too long. I knew it wouldn’t be easy for you.  Why did you go out?" Me “because Sunday was brutal emotionally.”

Monday March 27, 1995

I feel pretty beaten up by alcohol  just now. Good talk with John Roster this evening.. we talked of symbols. Symbolic living to express meaning.  Espresso equals meaning. Martini equals symbol. Probably would feel much peace if I just let go.

End of entries

Note

“Going out” meant to start drinking again. —————————————————————————————————————————

Some thoughts can ritual and symbol:

I believe that the body needs ritual and symbol.

Drinking involves the ritual of the drink along with the symbols of the glass and the bottle. If you can substitute another form of ritual and symbols, the body will release you from alcohol, The body’s need for ritual and symbol having been satisfied. The gym involves ritual and symbol. The ritual of the movement and the symbol of the weight. I drank and trained until finally the drinking left and the training thrived.  My body was satisfied with the ritual and symbol of the gym and it released me from needing to drink alcohol.

[edgytransgirlusername]

Day 500 without a drink