#weirder things happen in this fandom honestly

[ff7-has-taken-me-over]

The Hansen lads looking after Raleigh after he comes back for the final battle. Feeding him, helping him through nightmares or sleepless nights, etc.

Her’s the gentle words and firm encouragement where Chuck’s the silent support and constant affection. Herc gives his shoulder to hold Raleigh up when he feels like he’s about to collapse from exhaustion and Chuck has his back whenever someone picks a fight.

They help him through it all and allow him the time to grieve that he had never given himself in five years of living. It’s a weird little partnership they agreed on, one born from attraction old and new, one that - more often than not - sparks pointless pissing contests and dick measurings. More literal than Raleigh was ever prepared for.

The amount of times Raleigh ended up between the two of them, out of his mind with pleasure and hazing out their constant bickering is much more than he’s managed to count.

<><><><><><>

“Come back to us yeah? Don’t you dare leave us behind.”

Chuck huffed a laugh, kissing Raleigh’s cheek while ruffling his hair, “Should be telling you that darling. You’re the one with no self preservation.”

Raleigh let out a laugh of his own, nuzzling into the hand before turning toward a stoic Herc. Well… if you ignored the tears sitting in the corners of his eyes, “You both better come back to me. I will not lose a son and a partner in the same day.”

[palant1r]

funniest thing that ive seen happen in the saiki k fandom multiple times is that me or someone else who writes/draws a lot will reblog something with a comment and op will be like "OMG I KNOW UR WORK HOW DID YOU FIND THIS" and its like. the fandom is about 12 people gathered around a bowl of corn chips occasionally contributing various dips of our own. its honestly weirder if there's a tumblr post that ISNT seen by most of the saiki k fandom

[menlove]

i saw on some of your posts that you say you aren’t an india truther, out of curiosity what do you think caused john and paul to have a fallout? do you think the resentment was more gradual and happened over 68-69? im sorry if you’ve answered this before but i love hearing about people’s theories of what happened in india and the aftermath.

sorry I totally forgot to answer this but for me.... hm. tossing under a readmore bc it got long oops

I think it was more gradual. like the way they act w each other in the get back sessions & just in general speaks more to something more unspoken happening than some big dramatic break up or rejection, at least to me. esp given how john & yoko lived with paul for a while in the summer of 68 (and talk about the world's worst throuple)

I wouldn't say I don't think Anything happened in india, but imo it seems more like.... I saw someone talking about how up until that point they were all on a lot of drugs & india was them getting off them for a minute & they sort of looked around and went "what the fuck are we doing? do I even know these people?" and that rings the most true to me I think.

some of the bigger reasons I have my doubts abt india being some huge thing where they fucked for the first time and paul rejected john are a) they still got along after that. things were weird but not much weirder than they'd been after brian's death b) paul wrote "i will" in india and I've talked before about how I'm 100% convinced that's about john and to me "will I wait a lonely lifetime, if you want me to I will" doesn't sound like the words of someone about to do any rejecting c) the infamous blowing the mic scene in get back is way too lighthearted and makes paul blush and giggle like they're just referencing fucking as a part of their relationship that happened enough to not be disarming. doesn't seem like john is being bitter or trying to egg him on and paul isn't reacting like someone that got called out for fucking john and then rejecting him. it reads more, to me, like just two lovers slyly joking around about a time they fucked that no one else can know about

which brings me to d) I'm also a "they had a sexual relationship" truther (which would be a whole other essay tbh) and so For Me Personally that just doesn't jive w smth big and dramatic happening in india. I just don't think they ever talked about what the fuck was going on between them, whatever it was, and then the typical band breakdown reasons coincided w a breakdown of their personal relationship as well. like just sort of dying out without much fanfare which can honestly be worse than some big rejection or breakup. and then ofc john goes full in with yoko and paul flounders around trying to settle down with a woman and marry her in such a weirdly frantic way. like that quote where he asks if he was supposed to be a 26 year old queer that never got married....... I would wager, imo, that things breaking down w john & then jane would've lead him to a bit of a Crisis about all that. but he found linda and went all in w her and she wound up pregnant so there you go.

which would lead them to a really weird place by the get back sessions, which I at least feel like is reflected pretty well- this awkward tension, paul's nervous desperation, nostalgia for the old times, lingering sexual tension. but not the attitude like they hated each other yet or had some big breakup or rejection. they're still joking and flirting, it's just awkward. the Big Moment would've been something else after that imo, probably john announcing he wanted a divorce but could've also been something more private that would go a long way to explaining why they were basically not on speaking terms at all by the abbey road sessions

again this is all Purely Speculation. mostly based on my more conflicting view from the fandom at large that they did have a sexual relationship and paul isn't as repressed/clueless as he puts on. so w those Two Beliefs in mind, this is sort of the trajectory that would make the most sense to me!

of course, without those two Core McLennon beliefs of mine I can see why people would point to india as the game changer if they think paul is a repressed bisexual who thinks he's straight while john pined over him. like it would make sense in that scenario if that's where the tension snapped & it was just a mess after that. but I very firmly and adamantly don't believe that so it's just hard for me to see the india theory as anything solid when there's a lot of other explanations for why india was such a shitshow

but all that is just me personally! don't have shit to back it up beyond what I can bring up about the evidence of a sexual relationship and paul being closeted that then lead me to these speculations based on that but yeah lmao

(and fun fact lmao whenever we publish it this is gonna be like half of the story of "i need you" so yall will get to see my fully baked opinion there mixed w just what I think would be fun or angsty dbshsjss)

[kurorororororo]

It’s a shame. I’ve been into Chrollo before 2020 when the pandemic hit.

Those were new “fans” who created that mess.

They only got into that as a phase. Now that has fizzled out. They have moved on.

However, those that witnessed the Chrollo phase on Tiktok will assume any Chrollo fan are like that.

I didn’t experience the 2020-2022 Chrollo phase on Tiktok, but I have seen old videos.

It’s weird how that label is only put on Chrollo fans, when there were and are characters who fans do the most, and still do.

Can you clarify how this 2020-2022 Chrollo Tiktok thing happened?

honestly, i joined hxh tiktok just when the hype was dying out, so i didn't get to witness the chrollo stans thing to its full extend.

but from what i've seen, it just kind of spiralled. hxh was constantly going viral on tiktok. and most of the chrollo fans were just simps, they didn't talk about anything else beyond his appearance so any commentary they made on him was just surface-level. and how well-written he is as a character usually isn't immediately obvious to most people anyway, so he just became "that edgy mysterious villan who ppl are down bad for." the chrollo stans were also feeding into the attention they were getting and kept posting weirder and weirder videos until they became infamous. the pandemic also brought in a lot of new people who weren't used to fandom, so this kind of simping stood out even more.

and of course, there was that one viral sound: "bitches be like, chrollo's so hot... and then this is chrollo." which put even more spotlight on the chrollo simps.

feel free to add anything! i would love to see what everybody else thinks.

[candy-canes-and-tinsel-chains]

MOOTIE !?!?!!3!3

sorry if I am too early, but no way I am going to wait. If i'm too early, then just delete it or wait for a good time ykkk

I would like to request chasing stars with Rui (omsgshsjsjsnsj I love him jsjsjsjs) (yeah, i'm insane) (also if you'll make it super cool that i'll melt inside, i'll make you any request you will give me, i swear.)

SO GOOD LUCK MOOTIE !! AND CONGRATULATIONS FOR 15 FOLLOWERS SLAY 🫶🫶🫶

WOAH YOURE HELLA FASTT HAHA AND THANKYOUU MOOTIEE 🫶🫶

(honestly it's ok you're not too early lol) (and rui fangirling is perfectly normal in the fandom..right?)

ok so rui oneshot - i love shower thoughts i got myself out of writers block

also its not super great so forgive me please 🙏🙏

Chasing stars - It Was Enchanting To Meet You - Rui Kamishiro x reader

The person standing in front of you gave you a small, polite smile, which you could see was a huge contrast to the one you remembered. Perhaps this was Fate's way of making you atone for that sin you committed. Perhaps it really had to be this cruel. You supposed that all things would've led to this anyways.

You returned his smile with your own strained one, subtly searching his eyes for any recognition, or perhaps some sort of remembrance. Or at least some

Nothing.

You sighed a little and thanked him softly before taking that parcel out of his hand gently. You hoped he wouldn't notice the slight dusting of blush on your cheeks, and quickly looked back down as his eyes widened a little at the sight. He noticed.

Something seemed to jolt him a little.

You looked up, only to see his eyes widening more. What was happening? Did he finally remember? Was everything going back as previously? But then his eyes went back to that distant, polite look, and your face fell. He noticed and started to ask, "Are you...alright?"

You nodded quickly before moving your hand to the door, ready to just close. And yet, this was happening all over again. Again. He suddenly stopped you with a soft, hesitant, "Wait...do I...do I know you?" Now your eyes widened. Did he remember? Was there hope?

"Well...y-yes." You replied, a little reservedly, your tone had a slight hope and anticipation in it, showing your hidden feelings. Rui's eyes widened once more. "Really? How come I don't remember?"

Your hopeful expression turned into a frown. "You..."

A thought struck him. You were absolutely adorable like that. He shook his head a little, confused as to where it had come from. His intrusive thoughts were getting weirder by the day.

“You were…” You swallowed, hoping that your voice wouldn’t break on you, “You were in an accident…a couple years ago..” You whispered, slowly looking back up at him again. He met your eyes with his own confused gaze. Wait. Was that…adoration? That hadn’t come up in his expressions since before that accident…Was he finally recalling everything? Did he catch feelings once more?

“Well, what were we before that?”

“We were…together.”

Surprise washed over him, making it visible on his face. His eyebrows were raised and his mouth fell open just a little. "R-Really?" 

At the sight of your nod, he took a slight step back. "O-oh...I'm so sorry..." 

Now it was your turn to look surprised. Why was he apologising? 

"I'm so sorry," He repeated, "I...I don't remember a thing." Your head cocked a little to the side, "You were in an accident, it's alright."

"No it's not, I-" 

You cut him off with a soft, "Stop it, Rui," as you shook your head slightly. He frowned, meeting your eyes with confusion in his own. "It's really alright," You mustered, hoping to play it off. 

"B-but...do you- do you still have feelings?" 

That little question struck you speechless, at least for a little while. You paused and thought over it for a bit. 

"Yes," You replied, "I-I'll always love you, Rui."

He opened his mouth, ready to speak once morw, but you cut him off before he could start, "But it's alright, you don't have to- "

Just as you had cut him off, he interupted you as well, "I apologise." 

"What for?" You sighed. 

He took a deep breath, "I can't remember my feelings...I-I can't.." He let out a shaky breath, his tone turning guiltier, "I-I..." You gently placed a hand on his shoulder, "It's alright." Your mind pulled up a particularly fond memory, with balloons and flowers. 

Your one year anniversary. 

You smiled brightly, though your eyes held a different kind of pain, "It was enchanting to have met you, Rui Kamishiro." 

-end- 

hope you enjoyed 🫶🏻🫶🏻

word count : 672

wattpad - here

[charlottesbookclub]

which plants each of the greens would get from the plant shop where i work 🪴🌱🌿🍃

y'all i am so sorry for my sporadic activity on this blog and also for the chaotic jumble of fandoms i keep posting about with no warning 😭

so i was kinda into hotd last season, and with the new trailers coming out i was thinking about it again and this idea came to me like a revelation from on high so i decided to curse you all with these headcanons as well

for context, i work at a houseplant shop and was watering my own plants today when i was seized by the vision of which plant(s) each of the greens would get from the shop

i guess this is kind of modern au but not really?? like i guess i sort of envisioned it as the characters walking out of the world/canon of the show and into the plant store and so that's the characterization i went with idk

anyway sorry this is so chaotic – here are the headcanons:

alicent – def something pretty basic but classic like a pothos or a philodendron. a marble queen pothos would be especially appropriate, so honestly that's what i would probably recommend if she asked. is able to keep it alive just fine but i'm just not sure i would recommend anything too much more demanding – i just feel like losing a plant would be too demoralizing for her. also i feel like she would be one of those people who would come in and be like "i need a plant that filters air bc i need clean air in my living space" and i'd have to put on my best customer service voice/smile and be like "well actually ma'am that's all of them – that's kind of like one of their main things" lmaoooo

criston – i truly do not believe that this man could keep a plant alive; i'm just not convinced of it. i think he'd get a funky spiky little succulent or cactus and it would be dead within a week and he'd come back in and i'd recommend a snake plant (very hard to kill) and then he'd kill that too 💀 but also i think he'd be sooooooooo in denial about it and always come up with a bunch of other things that must've happened to it

aegon – also cannot keep a plant alive but is painfully self-aware about this fact. would def be one of those people who comes in, walks right up to the counter and instantly says "i need a plant i can't kill." so i'd point him to the snakes and zz's and he'd get either a nice black coral or golden hahnii snake plant. the funniest thing about this is that i'm convinced that aegon's snake plant would actually survive and criston would be sooooo pissed about it. like he wouldn't water it for weeks, and then when he finally remembered to, he accidentally (drunkenly) watered it with wine and it still lived and criston was fucking livid about it

aemond – would for sure have more success keeping plants alive than aegon or criston. i feel like he'd try to start with something cool but tricky, like a complicated carnivorous plant, and after excruciating months of going back and forth with it, it kinda just gives up because he tries to do everything precisely by the book rather than reading the signs of the actual living plant in front of him. he admits defeat only personally – he tells everyone else that he gave to plant to helaena. he comes back for something a little easier and goes for a nice dracaena marginata (yes, he did buy it mostly because the name sounds like "dragon" and also because it was spiky and cool). he's definitely able to keep that one alive and it lives in the corner of his chambers and he's secretly very proud of his success with it. also he does not even let criston or aegon so much as look at it lmao

helaena – my girl could buy anything in the whole store and keep it alive 😌😌 she for sure likes the "weirder" plants and has a whole bog garden situation of carnivorous plants aemond is insanely jealous of this but never admits it out loud. she's very drawn to strange-looking cacti and succulents, and also fun little novelty plants like goldfish plants, string of turtles/bananas/hearts/pearls, starfish snake plants, etc. also, whenever she comes in she always buys all of the scraggly discount plants because she feels bad for them and nurses them all back to health. she has not lost a single plant yet regardless of the state it was in when she got it, and she doesn't intend to start any time soon 😌

[dearweirdme]

I thank you for your detailed answer and I understand that things must not be easy for closeted ppl specially with their level of fame and I understand now the importance of choosing a bit more of artistic freedom and freedom in general but I still think that him agreeing to do this was one of the worse things he could have done for his career and i also feel now that him choosing to publicly do a lot of things that very much pointed at him and jk being together was really distasteful, I never would have thought this before but I just don't see the point of him wishing to make a point about his relationship with jk at all after doing what he did, I really wonder what was he thinking? Ppl won't take him seriously, won't take that relationship seriously at all, he's just harming his image bc he had that mediaplay above his head. There's just a lot of ppl thinking he's been gaybaiting all along instead of defending his gf, I guess this probably was important to him, sharing a bit about his real self while everyone was believing lies but it was such a bad choice now that I see it in retrospective. I didn't it take like that at all when all of this was happening I guess I just felt relieved that this hadn't changed and that he was still fighting but now it's like what are you even fighting? You did that and no one is going to seriously see anything statement in what you do with your bandmate, no one. And this will continue like that unless they ever come out which I doubt it will ever happen considering the choices they made. I remember even being somewhat upset back then for what I took as jk distancing himself from Tae publicly when I thought he needed the support the most but now I understand that he did it bc what is even the point in contradicting in any way a mediaplay he took part of and that has a purpose they must have agreed, was needed.

I really wish things would have been different and that Tae would have acted different, it's the way I'm 100% sure that tk are together and I have been for years and I still feel disappointed and I know is my fault for putting ppl I dont know personally into pedestals but it's just like I'm finding out that Tae is not as cool and brave as the person I had in my head and that also most ppl won't ever see him like that too and all the opposite bc of that mediaplay and the way he chose to act after it.

Seeing twt and TikTok and basically every platform after this is having a reminder that ppl really do see him as a coward, liar and a loser, even armys and idk when this will change, I don't think this at all bc i know it's not the truth and I used to get really defensive but now I have to accept that this are consequences of the choices he made, this and ppl never taking queerness related to him as anything but a joke or queerbaiting or fans deliriums

Hi anon!

responding to this ask:

Sorry for being late to respond to this, I've been sick these last couple of days (still feel awfull and pretty ligthheaded honestly, so If I seem weirder than usual... that's probably why.. also, I'm probably making more spellingmistakes than usual😶). I have had plenty of time to think about this though, because both this ask and your former one made me actually really sad... and I did want to think through why you felt like this, and why my feelings are so opposite. So here I go, and I don't mean to be harsh or insult, but at the same time.. this is how I feel.

We all have our own ideas about who we think an artist is. I think it is very clear that amongst fandom, there are many differetn thoughts going around about who Tae and Jk are as persons... what they are like on the inside. When we form an idea about who we think someone is, we also start getting expectations... and I think that is why it's almost unavoidable that at one point we get a bit dissapointed. It can be small disappointements (like, not liking an add, or a song, or that they smoke) but it can also be big dissapointments... like the one you are feeling right now. I think this also ties in with how so many were feeling negatively towards Jk when he didn't act how many wanted him to during Tae's Layover. Expectations were set (because of them being Tkk, but also because of how many perceived his actions during Jm's Face), and he failed misserably in many eyes.... but I digress.

We don't really know them well enough to be able to have that kind of expectations though.... especcially when it comes to their private lives (and when we talk about their closet, or their relationship... that is what those are). As Tkkrs we feel very connected to Tae and Jk. So much so, that at times we feel as though we are fighting alongside them. We make their battle ours. But ultimately it isn't. We can support them, and we definitely should.... but we should at the same time be aware that it is THEIR lives. Only they know the inns and outs of their lives, only they know what's at stake for real.. so they are the only ones who get to decide. So I understand that you might feel dissapointed because you feel you've been fighting for them so hard and now one of them made a choice that to you doesn't fit with what you think you've been fighting for... but at the same time I think you are wrong, because.. we don't know what it is that they are fighting for, and we don't know the exact inns and outs of their lives.

Personally, I've never fully felt as though they are fighting hard to be able to come out or to show us that they are romantically together. I just think that's not even an option for them at this point, both from a business perspective and a private perspective. There's a few instances where I feel Tae went a bit further (the insta pic before Paris, him posting only Jk and Bam before enlisting, the matching T-shirts). To me most of the other stuff is just them living their lives adn things we pick up on because we pay attention. So your and my starting point is different, I don't see them/Tae a someone who has been "wishing to make a point about his relationship with Jk". I think he has wanted to.. very much so, but don't think it is realistic to think that he wanted to out them. Your sentence "Ppl won't take him seriously, won't take that relationship seriously at all"... that's kinda what this is all about right, we're not supposed to take it seriously in a way. Because if everyone would take them seriously, they would be out.

Being in a shipping fandom will forever be weird. Would I reccommend it to anyone.. well, no 😂. It comes with a lot of highs but also with a lot of lows and I consider it to be a neverending rollercoaster of emotions in which you will actaully get bitchslapped from time to time. We will forever be fandom's punching bag. Are we to blame Tae and Jk for that? I personally don't.. and I've though about this hard the last few days. But my answer has continously been that: no, they didn't choose this. It's society that's wrong. That does not mean that I think they can never do anything wrong, there's things that would go too far for me as well. But imo that's not the case here. He did one walk, we don't know what he expected the fan response to be. Maybe he was expecting us all to brush past it with force like we do so many times. Maybe he thought it would have past already with that bua (which is what often happens). You are making a lot (!) of assumptions on his thought process and motives, when in reality we know nothing about it.

We know nothing about the actual hardships they have gone through. When I try to imagine what feelings they must've had throughout all these years of hiding is bad though. It's not just a case of not holding hands whne the camera's are off. It comes with being shamed, with feeling afraid, with feeling alone, with feeling wrong, with feeling you should let the other go because your just an obstacle to them, with feeling like maybe you should just leave, with feeling like you are letting everyone down... and that's just what I can imagine. We don't know the specific memories that haunt them. We know Tae has had mental health problems. To me it is not unimaginable that being closeted had a big part in that. I also think he always put the band before his own needs (wanting to resign for the members). I think the situation has been much more dire than any of us can guess. So when Tae chose an option (and we don't even know which other options there were) to maybe get some more freedom in at least one part of his life, I just think of him and his situation with a lot of empathy.

I suppose all the Taennie insanity from last week has bothered you. And maybe it made you feel as though we will never get rid of them. While I do think Taennie will have a bit of a long term effect, it's more in the sense of every now and then there will be an article refering to a rumored relationship. Taennies themselves will disapear sooner or later (as soon as Jennie is spotted with someone else basically). They are desparate, their ship meant nothing and is basically an empty vessel. Their is no real depth to it. I was kinda joking a while ago by saying I'll get a Jkk like essay in my inbox soon... but honeslty, Taennies aren't even able to leave an in depth essay.. because they have only bits of similar jewelry and edited pictures.

I have often said that Tae and Jk's relationship with Tkkr-fandom must be a complex one. It's a very onesided one, and I think we have to make amends with the fact that it's always going to be a one-sided one. That doesn't mean they don't appreciate us, but it does mean that they will probably never act out their appreciation.

[brakingpoint]

i love it when you get sustantiatedly bitchy about things that don't really matter like ships, so i'd love you to talk about some of the ones you feel most strongly about, but tbh now i am also curious what you DO see

strongly tempted to put "i love it when you get substantiatedly bitchy about things that don't really matter" in my bio 👍🏻

anyway i feel like most of my examples are honestly not down to anything wrong with that particular ship but moreso overall trends in f1blr shipping (and i think i have set forward this exact thesis before so apologies for repeating myself but i love getting bitchy as much as you love to read it so i will yap about it again 😁) so it's probably more productive for me to just moan about those. perhaps with examples. just to swing the bat at the hornets' nest a little bit harder

in my opinion all of these trends are also interconnected - although they may at first seem contradictory - and feed into and amplify each other's respective flaws to create one big mess of mediocre shipping

trend one: trying to make fetch (yaoi) happen for every combo of teammates, rivals, drivers who came up through feeder series together regardless of if there is any chemistry or even anything remotely interesting about the dynamic

trend two: when there is no chemistry or canonically compelling feature to a certain combo, instead of doing the tried and true crackship method of getting a bit silly with it and going "hey would this be fucked up/funny/sexy/cute or what" everythingggg has to be about overwrought tinhat soulmateism, which is what makes trend one so exhausting. you can't be telling me you actually think every single teammate combo on the grid are actually star crossed lovers with abundant genuine and compelling yaoi fodder. it's not possible

trend three: everyone on here has the attention span and object permanence of a six month old cocomelon addict and so instead of respecting and sticking to the genuinely fantastic "vintage" (read: they were teammates/friends 2-5 years ago and don't interact as much publicly anymore) ships that exist for several drivers the overwhelming trend is for people to flock to the next big thing (read: whatever two drivers are standing next to each other for this season). it's kind of like migratory slash fandom but it's even weirder because it's happening all within one fandom, and half the time you're abandoning a genuinely good fun interesting ship for something that fits trends one & two and is therefore, to me, a bit shit

anyway examples of ships i just don't really Get for one or more of the above reasons include: a lot of contemporary lando ships (i'm not actually saying this because i'm a lando hater on track. when it comes to yaoi i do not discriminate and i think carlando is an all time banger f1 rpf staple. which is why i'm baffled by so many people acting like landoscar is anywhere near a worthy replacement); certain other teammate ships like britcedes, alex/logan (🕊️), zhou/bottas; even (please don't kill me) lestappen to an extent which i don't mind and have even written multiple fics for but i think people are taylor swift easter egging it a bit too hard at this point

on the other hand some of the ships i DO still like and Get include: strollonso (genuinely top ship to me at this point, peak contemporary teammate ship), piarles (idk if this has fallen victim to the Vintage Ship issue as much as i think or if i just perceive it that way bc half the pierre blogs on here have me blocked), some maxiel (lowkey prefer it when treated as a Vintage Ship as opposed to trying very hard to prove it's still alive and kicking today), carlando as already mentioned, whatever was going on between lando and max fewtrell and their possibly shared girlfriend a couple of years back, charlos (another strong contemporary teammate ship), sebmark, and of course my beautiful iconic eternal brocedes. OH and max/gp 😜

[innitmarvellous]

Like last year I tried to compile a rather sad little list of positive (and positive-ish) things and accomplishments of 2024. There really isn't much I could come up with, but better than nothing, I guess? Dunno if it's too early for it, but I can still add to this post if I can think of something else.

- I randomly decided that I wanted to learn to play an instrument & that's why I started with electric guitar in February and added electic bass in Autumn. I'm not particularly good at either of them which often frustrates me a lot, but I still don't regret trying it. Well, not much. I just hate having to deal with expectations aka "oh, so you want to play in a band?". No, I don't, because I started way too late for that and no band needs a shitty guitarist/bassist, lmao. (Oh, and I'm already planning to try and learn the violin next. I'm even worse at that, so there's a lot of fun to be had, except for the people who have to listen to my playing :D)

- I also learned how to crochet, after huge initial frustration. That's a new skill acquired, I guess? I did a lot of crochet stuff over the year, but unfortunately it doesn't feel that fulfilling because I'm not that good and also don't know anyone to gift the finished stuff too. The scarves and shawls are piling up in my wardrobe and it's so frustrating, lol. But at least I could make myself very ugly little HIGNFY and Beatles dolls :3

- I wrote more unsexy porn fics, which might not be good for the readers, but is kind of good for me as it doesn't feel very cringe anymore. Now I only need to find a way to make them at least a little sexy!

- I didn't have one of these massive self-hate attacks for a silly small reason, which was good. Well, I had several small moments, but I hated the big ones way more...

- I at least tried to accept some things about me, like being possibly asexual and getting over the fact that I hate my name. Unfortunately I only tried without much success, but the attempt has to count for something. Since I don't want to accept that I might be aspec I'm just thinking of myself as queer now to avoid having to think about it any further - which is also rather practical for gender reasons since I've got no idea about that either :/ (Although using it still makes me feel like an intruder into queer communities, but the term is useful for me...so a big sorry to anyone who's truly queer. Hope that's a forgivable sin.) And I'm trying to come up with an alternative name I can address myself with in my thoughts, lol.

- I tried to work on my self-acceptance. Again: I tried. Some things happened that made me doubt myself again when I thought I had made some progress, so I'm not really sure about how successful I was. I wish I would just figure out whether I deserve to feel better about myself, that would be a nice start. xD

- I decided to develop a taste of my own. Sounds weird and is something I should have done long ago since I'm fucking old, but...I often watched a show or read a book I didn't like simply because of things like: 'but a comedian I like said that's his favourite book!'. Well, and now I'm trying to tell myself: if our tastes align on something, very good. But if not, whatever.

- I'm still rather insane about HIGNFY and religiously watch at least one episode a day. Also, I had two nice and very long conversations with other fans on AO3 and these honestly gave me such a good time. Too bad they didn't last even longer, but the other people probably moved on to new fandoms and even so, I had a blast. (And of course I'm also still weird about Paul. If anything I got weirder about him. Just look at my fics in case I still haven't deleted them yet! Actually, no, please don't look, but you get what I mean.)

- Not an accomplishment, but I'm kind of happy that I got interested in The Beatles at the end of last year. I read so many books and stuff about them in 2024 and wrote fics and listened to the music (of course) and that usually was a source of happiness, so yeah. That was good :D

[eveandtheturtles]

I saw that you wanted Donnie requests and I have so many ideas! First one of my SFW ideas I want is a general headcanon of Donnie with a s/o (any pronouns are fine) who is kinda chaotic and hyper but is a sweetheart and loves hearing him infodump about his projects (even though they don’t even know what he’s talking about) Sorry if that’s a strange ask 😅💜

Fear not! I heard weirder lol (not this fandom tho, y'all guys so nice). I love chaotic characters. In fact my own oc I ship with him is chaotic lol but this isn't about her. Here I will use they/them as gender neutral option but honestly yeah can be replaced with any pronoun! @littlebeanprotector

Chaotic S/O and Infodumping Donnie

The s/o and Donnie are a match in chaotic energy. Whenever there was a crazy prank going on it was these two usually behind it but Donnie has a much calmer energy to him than them.

List of things that happened (pulling in effect the other 3 brothers + Casey and sometimes April) California Reaper Pepper challenge, the googly eyes in unexpected places prank, cling wrap Mikey and Raph challenge that got mixed with a 100 layers challenge and most importantly - crazy pizza toppings.

Now with Donnie, the s/o heard from April that he used to infodump a lot in the past but brothers generally either were escaping or (*coughRaphcough*) let him know nobody fucking knows what he is on about, which is rather discouraging so over the years Donnie learned how to "contain" himself around other people.

He's not shy it would most likely be an annoyed huff through his nose and pressing his lips together.

The s/o noticed a couple times that when certain topics are mentioned Donnie perks up and it definitely seems he wants to say something but it quickly dies down and he merely nods along with a frown.

Whenever Donnie would start Infodumping and the brothers would groan the s/o would yell "Shut up! I want to hear this you asshats!!"

Another tactic was blowing up a kazoo whenever Raph would try and interject.

It was a surprise to everyone bc whenever they were at the lair they bounced all over the place, only matching Mikey in the amount of excess energy, so they thought you also would find Donnie lecture time boring.

But no. It was surprisingly soothing.

It took a lot of poking and prodding and gentle encouragement to finally have him talk.

And boy does he talk and the things he knows! He is a walking breathing encyclopedia on certain issues.

The first time he let go the s/o sat there with open mouth. Granted a lot of it went over their head. But what was important was

Donnie's face just lit up. As he spoke he got more and more animated. His hands moving with his mouth to even bouncing on his feet. And then-

"Oh, sorry, I hope I'm not boring you..." He asked suddenly dimming down, shy.

That broke their heart a little. "No! Please keep talking I love listening to you! I love your voice and gosh you know so much!"

That helped him relax and breathe out.

They weren't lying about loving his voice. Whenever their brain would refuse to calm down but you needed to chill you'd go to Donnie to listen to him talk.

Sometimes that was how they'd fall asleep, curled up in his lap.

Now the s/o could say:

XD hope you liked that!!

Tag list!

@turtle-babe83 @madammuffins @thelaundrybitch @pheradream15 @sharpwindow @dilucsflame33

Anyone who wants in or out of it let me know. Also if you got prompts requests! I'm open!

[jetgirl1832]

20 Questions More

This is a deeper and more detailed version of the 20 questions for AO3 fanfic writers. @nottawriter hit me with a tag, I have been attacked lol.

1) How do you keep getting ideas for your ship / fandom? A dash of shower thoughts, with a pinch of I watched a movie and couldn't help but think... Yes, that will work. They often feel like the come from nowhere.

2) Which authors inspire you in your fandom, and why are they so freakishly good? That's not fair how dare you ask me this!!!! Uhhh I'm mostly reading Supercorp stuff these days sooo... @jazzfordshire, @mycatismyeditor, @fazedlight, @innamorament0, @scribblingpunk, @fyonahmacnally to name a few. AAAAND my co-author and a vast array of things @tomatopudding! Why? Idk, I just get drawn a lot to these works and think they're lovely, and I love their depictions of these characters I love.... with @tomatopudding we just vibe very well, sharing the same five brain cells helps.

3) Aside from the characters of your main ship, who are the characters you love to write? If we're talking Supergirl... That's so hard, but I might have to say Brainy and Nia if really pressed... and Alex. I really enjoy Alex.

Otherwise, my other faves include all of the Les Amis from Les Miserables (if you know you know), specifically Courfeyrac and Marius and their hilarious dynamic. Other faves include Eliza Schuyler-Hamilton, Eponine Thenardier and... This could go on for a very long time, are you sure you have time?

4) Are there pairings or tropes you know for sure you’d never write about? Which ones? Not putting Kara and Lena together just makes me sad... So Supercorp ftw all the way, they are my top (I am a lot more amenable in other fandoms I've written for)

Tropes... I'm unlikely to do Omega-verse, I haven't done it and I can't see myself starting even if I sometimes read it.

5) What is your writing process and why is it cursed?

When I worked in retail I wrote on stupid little scraps and probably lost about 75% of them. Sometimes the method is hand writing, and then typing and making edits during that process as well. The handwritten can vary drastically from the typed draft lol.

I tend to fly by the seat of my pants unless someone is keeping me in line. I'm pretty darn chaotic.

I doubt myself a lot, so I always think whatever I write is garbage no matter how much proof there is that's not true. Also, sometimes I get burnt out, or my muse dies and then I feel terrible. Yay.

6) What is your favorite part of your writing process? Falling down rabbit holes, looking into fun topics. Likely ending up on a government watch list for the stuff I've searched up over the years

7) What’s the weirdest thing you’ve had to research for a fic? Uhhh.... hmm. I have no idea what the weirdest is lol. Cause it's on my mind, probably looking up what types of wood are easiest to chop, and why. (There is definitely weirder, but I don't remember right now).

8) Is there a particular writing rule you struggle with (grammar, spelling, tense, reality in general)? Commas. They hate me, and I hate them.

9) What was your hardest scene to write so far and why? Oof. Uhhh... This is so hard! Honestly there is a lot of stuff in my co-written very long series Hamilton Family Album that was *a lot* between research and feels.

Especially when you're co-author hits you with unexpected feels out of nowhere that you weren't anticipating (YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID).

10) Have your characters ever done something you didn’t expect, changing your plot completely? Of course, they have. It happens all the time.

11) If you could converse with any of the characters, who would it be and why? Ohhh... Hands down Kara and Lena, I wish they could be my friends and we could hang out. Why? I think that they are absolutely incredible, wonderful and I could just sing their praises for ever.

12) What are some of the tropes or themes that you find yourself returning to in your writing? Oooo, I'm a sucker for fluffy romances, and I've been dabbling in smut recently. Other themes for me can be like found family is a really popular one for me.

Since I've written both a lot of Les Mis and Hamilton stuff (among other similar things) I've done a lot of "Modern AU's" as well, which are uhhh varied to say the least. If I can treat anything they way the treat most Shakespeare pieces these days I do it.

13) What’s your most important resource as a writer? Asking for help! Soundboarding with other writers, I love doing it. It helps me make sense of my ideas... Or decide they're maybe too out there (almost never lol)

14) Can you share some of your strategies for editing and revising your work? Reading it out loud, I have a hard time noticing errors otherwise. Asking someone you trust to look it over as well, take your time and double and triple check if you're unsure about something.

15) Which is worse: making the summary, picking the tags, or the anxiety when you post your fic? D. All of the Above

16) How do you define success for your fanfic - hits? Kudos? Comments? Bookmarks? Or just if you like it? I try to just write for myself, usually because I haven't seen something like it and think it should exist. I do really enjoy getting comments if only because I'm always curious to hear what readers think about my work.

17) Do you have a playlist for your favorite character / ship? I don't, and if I did it would be odd... I'm the most massive theater nerd. I do have songs that I think fit the vibes, and some shows I listen to have more apt things than others. Or if it's Les Mis it's the whole dang album lol.

Supercorp things if anyone is curious (and wondering how odd it could get): Mercury Rising from Lizzie, Come Home With Me, Anyway the Wind Blows, Wait for Me and Wedding Song from Hadestown, In A Crowd of Thousands from Anastasia, Origin of Love from Hedwig and the Angry Inch. Maybe I introduced you to something fun today.

18) If fan art was going to be made from your work, which fic would you pick and which fan artist would you like to create it? Oh dear... I don't know. The thing I'd love to see art for isn't up yet and I just think it would be fun but it will be called What Was I Made For... And we're gonna leave at that for now.

19) How many WIPs do you currently have? I'm finishing up You've Got New Followers (One chapter left!), I think three other WIP's (two more plotted than others) and my WIP for May-Hem... So five?

20) What’s your advice to new fanfic writers? Don't be afraid just because you've never done it before. That's why fanfic is amazing. You can do what you want and in reality no one can stop you, just make sure you're having fun.

My fics: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JetGirl1832/works?page=1

Tagging but no pressure: @tomatopudding and @innamorament0

[macncherries]

am i the only one that thinks its crazy when women target popular gay men (or gay/ace/aro insinuated) men with romantic language? because to me its more of a realization that that person loves that character a lot and yet has absolutely no grasp on them as a person or concept. like, im not judging you, because thats your babygirl or whatever, but youve just twisted the image of that babygirl to fit your own notion; its no longer that same character/person anymore.

a lot of this was brought on by a Troye Sivan & Charlie xcx concert i went to a few days ago. there was a girl behind us screaming "thats my husband!" and other various romantically charged quips at him. which i never understood. why are you here? you cant not know that hes gay. if youre attending a concert of his, and comfortable enough to state hes your husband, you have to know hes gay. so why do it? am i taking this too literally? is it just one of those things that "people just say" and there is no deeper meaning behind it? the whole time i couldnt help but to think "girl, you are barking up the wrong tree" which was ironic because i think during "Rush" she was growling and barking at him as well. Also, side note, i love Rush's music video a lot.

this is a lot longer than i thought it would be. more below.

ever since then i realize that the same thing happens very frequently with fictional characters as well. I guess it just depends what fandom im in at the time, but obviously right now dungeon meshi is taking over my frontal cortex like spreading necrotic tissue. Laios specifically, people seem to do similar things with him. i think its because hes relatively 'malleable' as a character— hes easy to project onto and thus easy to mischaracterize. theres also a common theme with him being portrayed as puppy/dog-like and needy and whiny and stuff like that. this is more so in suggestive content. Im not disagreeing with that opinion; honestly i kind of like it, but thats another contribution as to why i think people choose him for the same kind of stuff. I will often see women or very fem-leaning folks hone in on Laios, romantically. And use the same kind of language. "thats my man!" "thats my husband!" "hes so mine" etc. Things that lay romantic ownership. and again, every time i see it, i cant help but to think "girl, you are barking up the wrong tree"

then again, self-ship has always been a little lost on me, so maybe thats where im not understanding. I dont dislike people who do it and i dont dislike it as a concept, i just dont understand why you would use that kind of language with a person who would realistically never be romantically interested in your gender. Obviously, Laios isnt canonically gay, but its highly insinuated he is both queer and autistic. and a lot of people who use the aforementioned language are, in turn, mischaracterizing him. Or at the very least ignorant to his coding and nuance within the character. This ties into the whole puppy/neediness thing earlier. The autism is translated into "dumb" to them, because they want to see the submissive behavior of a male character. Thats a whole different debacle. Im very tired of people categorizing Laios as 'dumb' as a general statement.

I think its still much more acceptable thing to do overall on Laios than it is Troye Sivan though. Doing that to a real person is much much weirder.

I also understand that the point of self-ship isnt necessarily to be realistic, that its more of a comfort thing, but doesnt that also kind of take you out of it? Like, every time i get romantically attached to a character romantically, its out of realism. As in, i would be at least somewhat attracted to them in real life. And inversely they would at least not categorically deny me outright. Getting attached purely sexually to a character is a bit different. And im guilty of being led by my dick to completely unrealistic characters. But im not talking about those, because the people who do this make use of both romantic and sexual language. So its not just a led-by-the-dick thing. Its a genuine belief that not only you "understand" that character, but that when using romantic language addressing that character, it is not just an outright lie.

am i just not understanding the tone? Is the whole "thats my husband" thing a joke and not laying any kind of romantic insinuation? ive only ever seen it used as such, but it could be different on tumblr.

[sineala]

May we have a fandom history lesson on all the times Tony has either gone blonde or worn Steve’s outfit?

Has Steve ever seen Tony blonde?

What would he think? I know he likes Tony’s looks just fine but maybe Steve has a thing for blondes it turns out lol

I currently know of two times Tony has gone blond (three if you count What Ifs) and one time he's worn Steve's outfit (at least once more if you're willing to count Tony wearing a Cap t-shirt).

Panels are below!

Tony wears Steve's outfit once, in IM v3 #33; he and Rumiko are going to a costume party and he dresses up as Captain America:

If you're willing to count Captain America shirts, we see Tony as a child wearing a Cap t-shirt in the style of Steve's uniform shirt in Avengers v8 #31:

That's all I know of off the top of my head.

Chronologically, the first time we see Tony go blond isn't 616; it's in a What If, specifically What If…? v1 #8; this is the 1989 series, because the previous series is named "What If?" with no ellipsis, so that is also "What If? v1" but that's not the same as "What If...? v1." I love comics numbering.

Anyway, this is "What If Iron Man Lost the Armor Wars?" and one of the things that happens in it is that Tony goes blond:

This issue is more famous in fandom for being the one where Justin Hammer makes Tony put on a mind-control collar, remove his armor, and walk around in his underwear for about half the issue.

You know, just your normal wholesome non-kinky villain requests. Right? Right.

As for 616...

Tony goes blond in the arc Manhunt (IM v3 #68); he is on the run from the law because, among other things, he has been framed for bombing an embassy, which he did not do.

Even though Steve is mentioned on this page, Steve does not appear at all in this arc.

The other time Tony goes blond is during Execute Program. He is on the run from the law for murdering a bunch of people (you may notice a theme here) and this time he did do it, although he was being mind-controlled, so he didn't do it of his own volition. Anyway, we see him dye his hair blond in IM v4 #10.

Tony's not really into this look, as you can see.

Steve does appear in Execute Program and he presumably does see Tony's dye job when Tony removes his helmet while Steve is fighting the Argonaut at the end of IM v4 #12, because they're both right there. However, Steve's being crushed by the Argonaut at the time so Steve doesn't really have anything to say about Tony's hair. But technically the answer to "has Steve ever seen Tony blond" is yes.

Tony then stops his own heart to stop the Argonaut and save Steve's life.

A couple pages later, canon establishes that after this point Tony has no pulse for 37 minutes. We don't see Steve on-page after this page where Tony stops his heart, but I feel like we can assume he's probably noticed Tony lying there dying and also probably has a lot of thoughts about Tony but at this point they are probably not about whether Tony is attractive.

As for whether Steve has a thing for blond(e)s -- I mean, his longest and most famous canonical relationship is with Sharon Carter, who is blonde. Sharon was canonically established as looking a whole lot like Peggy Carter, which is why Steve noticed Sharon in the first place -- so, yes, Peggy, his retconned wartime girlfriend who as far as I know he's never dated on-page, is also blonde. (In her recent appearances her hair is darker, presumably to be more like the MCU.)

Having said that, Steve hasn't exclusively dated blondes or anything -- he was engaged to Bernie Rosenthal, who is not blonde. It's not like Tony and the string of apparently-interchangeable redheads (Pepper, Bethany, Patsy) that Marvel likes to set him up with.

But, hey, if you want to say that Steve likes Tony when he's blond, I think that'd be reasonable; Steve is clearly willing to go for blondes generally, and he'd probably like the novelty of seeing Tony blond. Honestly I think seeing Tony clean-shaven is weirder than seeing Tony blond.

[claudeleine]

If lestat is a fictional character then why cant people talk about how he got to dropping louis from sky or to hurting claudia? I find it weirder that he is fictional yet if you want to talk about his existence and the plot and everything that build him up people get upset about it. Or if you think that being abusive isnt lestat's main defining quality like that's weird every other character allowed the grace of being complex but not lestat because if he is complex it takes away from the abuse louis and claudia suffered? Make it make sense

i mean i wouldn't say that every other character is given the grace of being complex except for lestat. i think it's largely the opposite - both within fandom and in-universe. for example: during the trial, lestat clarifies how claudia's turning really went down but also fully admits to hurting louis, and we saw tons of ppl whose main takeaway is that louis is untrustworthy and lestat is a victim. even within the actual scene, that's exactly how it's going down - the audience and the coven paints lestat as a victim and claudia/louis as the perpetrators.

i think where we start to run into issues, in my opinion, is ppl not wanting to really acknowledge lestat's negative behaviors/traits or trying to explain it away to diminish how bad it really was. it's one thing to be like character a did this bc of x, y, and z - so you can just...understand the character and their own internal logic and environmental factors, etc etc etc. and it's another to try to say that character didn't do that thing, or that it's not actually that bad bc there's a reason why it happened. like that's just..lazy and annoying. the latter is what i was referring to. i'm specifically talking about ppl who are also taking away lestat's complexity by diminishing the negative sides of his character.

and i do agree that some ppl can jump the gun and when ppl are just idk doing character/plot analysis, there can be a lot of assumptions made in bad faith that you're excusing or diminishing the behavior rather than just exploring how the character got from point a to point b. but there are a lot of ppl who are also just explaining it all away and effectively both defanging characters like lestat.

there's also a point to be made regarding ppl using language or rationale that's used to justify abuse irl which shouldn't be forgotten too, but that's maybe a whole extra essay. and there's also the aspect of how racism and specifically anti-blackness play a role. and how poc - especially black fans - have to see white fans fawn over lestat despite his extreme acts of violence against black characters. i don't think you can be all that upset that some ppl are going to be less interested in giving lestat a lot of grace.

but to summarize, generally speaking, i think lestat is really given the most grace to be complex but his own fans (and honestly anne rice herself lol) do his character a disservice by defanging him and writing off a whole part of who he is. and that's what i was getting at.

[kilowogcore]

Back to the Silver Age: Wally West's Origins

With all the excitement goin' on in The Flash ongoin' series, I figgured I'd go back an' read The Flash #110 from January, 1960, which wuz the first appearance of Wally West, my favorite Flash!

Unlike Barry Allen, who's a cop an' kinda self-obsessed, Wally wuz always about helpin' others an' connections with family an' friends.

We first get introduced ta' him as the head of a local Flash fan club. Back in' the olden days before the internet kids had ta' get together in a physical location ta' do things like play Dungeons an' Dragons.

Before even Dungeons an' Dragons, though, they got together an' formed fan clubs fer celebrities! Nowadays a lotta our knowledge a' fandom an' the activities of these celebrities come from the efforts of these fan clubs, not ta' mention they provided lotsa young Boomers ta' scream their heads off fer people like Elvis Presley in a way that puts the most ardent Belieber or Swiftie ta' shame!

Seriously, go look at video a' live concerts from the 60s, an' remember that next time any Boomer complains 'bout "kids these days." They were way, way weirder an' less socially balanced than us.

Anyway, Wally's a Flash fan, so Barry secretly becomes the Flash ta' shake his hand, a nice thing ta' do fer the kid!

Then, as a treat, Flash shows Wally the exact set-up a' chemicals that gave him his powers! Y'know, as ya' do.

An' then he puts Wally right where he wuz standin' when the accident happens! Which seems, um, irresponsible? Like where are ya' goin' with this Barry, what if--

Oh, a freak lightning bolt out of a clear blue sky just hit Wally. Huh. I feel like this wuz predictable an' coulda been avoided by, y'know, not posing a child near dangerous chemicals.

Anyway, Wally's Kid Flash now. Barry gets him a little costume (a duplicate of Barry's, he wouldn't get the iconic yellow costume 'til later), an' like any responsible adult of 1960 tells Wally ta' stay put an' not use his phenomenal new powers until he gets back from work. Then Barry wanders off ta' go, I dunno, it's 1960, I assume as a cop in the midwest he's pointing hoses at civil rights leaders or something.

I know, I know, he's not a beat cop, he's in the forensics lab. So he'd only be supportin' the cops who hold the hoses, but c'mon, comedic license!

Anyway, Wally is of course not goin' ta' stay put, an' since he's a true hero he immediately goes off ta' help people! A disgruntled former employee let a bunch of animals out of their cages at the zoo. This bein' a 1960s zoo that wuz probably the best thing fer those animals, but ya' can't have half-starved lions an' bears roamin' the street, so Kid Flash deals with the cleanup real quick.

Barry, lookin' on, reflects how wonderful it is that he's not alone, an' that he now has someone else with his powers. Which, again, adds the whole unnecessarily detailed re-creation of his accident a rather sinister bent. Did Barry do all this deliberately?

(Spoiler, it would later come out that Barry caused the lightnin' bolt that gave him his powers, an' in Mark Waid's run it's speculated that Barry's subconscious desire caused the lightnin' bolt that gave Wally powers. So yes, Barry did all this, though perhaps not consciously.)

Honestly, fer such an important story, it's kinda by the numbers. There ain't much character development, stuff just kinda happens. But it wuz the first sidekick creation of a major hero in the Silver Age, an' it wuz chock full of the comic book super-science that DC editor Julius Schwartz loved so much. An' important piece a' comics history!

An' Wally is still my favorite Flash. Even if he's been sinisterly isolated an' maybe possessed by Reverse Flash? I dunno, I look forward ta' Simon Spurrier's next issue!

[rodentgoth]

.X| "Answer Phone" - Ch.4 |X.

◄ Prev Chapter \\Fic Playlist\\Ship Playlist\\ Next Chapter ►

Once again thank you to my girlie @candy12110 for co-writing/editing with me for the rest of the story!

let's pretend the drones didn't blow up the train, M'kay?

Rating:: 13+ // Teen

Fandom:: Homestuck

Themes/Kinks:: None

Chixie sat on the floor of the train car, her anxiety rattling her just a bit. She had already been worried because of Zebruh, but seeing a purpleblood on the platform made it skyrocket. Her thinkpan was throbbing just imagining dealing with more highbloods at Jeevik week. Though, she wouldn't let the daunting thoughts ruin this for her. A week-long train ride might be the only time she could actually relax, despite the noise of the crowded car.  The universe was clearly moving things around for her.

 She had even made two new friends on the platform, a bronze blood, Joey, and a burgundy blood, Xefros. They were both nice enough, but what amazed her was when Joey just walked up to Marvus. She quickly turned her head the minute she saw her walk up to him. She expected to hear screaming, the sound of bodyguards or drones rushing in to defend the clown. So it came as a surprise when she heard none of that, but instead heard him talking to them. He seemed to be actually enjoying their company. Even weirder he appeared to be helping them, he didn't even ask for anything in return. Part of her wanted to believe he was doing all this with good intentions, but she was still skeptical. She'd had one too many fake friends, most of whom were highbloods, take everything from her. From her music to her whole persona as an artist, the only reason it hadn’t happened a lot recently was cause of Zebruh, and he was the fakest, horniest, “friend” she’d ever had. It was purely by the grace of Troll Jesus that he was such a simp she could just flatter him and get out of anything physical. Though she knew that won’t work forever, and that only added to her nervousness. 

She needed this protest to go well, she wanted…no- needed people to recognize her for who she was and not just the indigo who promotes her. And if she dies, then fuck it, at least she went out speaking her truth. She’d honestly rather get culled than have to spend another second with Zebruh. She was broken out of her anxious thoughts by the sound of her palmhusk going off. She checked her notifications to see messages from her favorite burgundy blood friend…and Zebruh. She stalled for a few seconds to decide whose message to answer first before. She chose to check Zebruh’s first to keep him from ruining whatever good mood Red would put her in::

THECODAKKEFFECT:: Hey do you want me to bring you to the indigo car? I know the lowblood cars can be pretty crowded! You can sit on my lap and stay in my room if you want!❤️

Chixie grimaced at the thought of having to have any more physical contact with him.She swiftly texted back::

Chixie:: No thanks. I found a seat so I'm fine!

She tried to be as calm and direct as she could, it was already taking all her strength not to completely go off at him. She was so tired of talking to him, she really thought he was done for the week. She assumed that with all the purple bloods and other blue bloods around he wouldn't have the energy to bother her but of course, she was wrong. He's still just as horny as ever and behaving like an absolute oinkbeast.

She heard the device ping again, but she didn’t bother to read it. She already knew he would just whine and beg until she caved in. She finally turned her attention to the message of Red::

R3dSplatter:: I’m on the train now! I’m helping out my matesprit in the teal and jade blood car. 

She cocked her head at the device. A burgundy with a midblood matesprit? 

Now, Chixie didn’t care or pay much attention to the hemospectrum when it came to quadrants, but that sounded highly unlikely, bordering on unbelievable. Jades never left the caverns and Teals never got into any relationships that didn't benefit them. Unless this relationship with Red's matesprit was of the Zebruh variety where they're being completely taken advantage of, it felt impossible.

Chixie:: Oh you have a matesprit…Are they nice to you?  R3dSplatter:: Of course, they're nice to me! They're my matesprit. Chixie:: No, I know. I just wanted to be sure. I'm also in contact with someone of a higher blood caste and they're not that great.   R3dSplatt3r:: Are they your matesprit?  Chixie:: Absolutely not! R3dSplatter:: Then why do you talk to them? Chixie:: I only stay near cause, right now, he’s my ONLY means of making ends meet. He's the only thing keeping me from losing all my gigs at this point. And he's a critic so he could ruin my whole career, if he wanted. But besides that, he's a skeevy creep that hits on every lowblood troll he ever meets. R3dSplatter:: Sounds like a real pain in the ass. You must really hate him. Chixie:: I do, Highbloods aren't all that great to be around for trolls like us. Sorry if I was being insensitive about your matesprit but I've seen what happens when a lowblood is in a relationship with a highblood. It's not pretty. R3dSplatter:: Don’t worry, I’ve seen it too. I can promise you they’re the sweetest I’ve ever met. But if I had to deal with someone like that, I’d be cautious too. Chixie:: That’s why I need this performance to go well, if everything works out at Jeevik Week, maybe I can finally move on from him! R3dSplatter:: I wish you the best, You deserve only greatness.

The bronzeblood felt her face grow warm at that comment, but something still didn’t feel right about all this. A voice in her thinkpan kept telling her something was off about Red but she just couldn't figure out what it was. She didn't hate or distrust them, in fact, they were the nicest troll she'd ever met. It didn't feel like they were only being nice because they wanted something from her but she kept doubting what they told her. It just felt like someone that was either really naive or hadn't experienced the terror of Alternia yet. And knowing what she knew there was no way someone of an even lower blood caste than her could be protected from the horrors of this planet for long. Even newborn grubs didn't get that privilege, let alone someone around her age. 

Chixie tried to not think about it anymore. Red had been the most supportive friend she'd made and they weren't looking to hurt or pail her. Why ruin such a pure relationship with hypothetical and vague doubts? 

Chixie:: Thank you! How about we meet up later? I'd be happy to meet your matesprit as well!

She closed the messages and put her palm husk away. No more interruptions and no more stress. A week of no Zebruh and no stress. Just her, the fifty other trolls in the car, and her thoughts.

**

Chixie's body was going to ache for weeks. The train had sped up out of nowhere, forcing her to hold on to the chair leg for dear life as a pile of bodies lined the back of the car. Miraculously, she was alive despite the violent speed of the train. If she were any weaker she would've splattered like a wriggler on the cavern floors, luckily, she only got whiplash. Unfortunately, she had no lodgings for the now week-long stay until Jeevik week started. Even worse, Zebruh survived and asked if she would like to share a hivetel room with him. She whipped out her palmhusk faster than Troll Usain Bolt to ask Cridea about accommodations. Cridea answered her, there was potential free lodging for performers. She, of course, took it in a heartbeat, she would do anything to avoid sharing a room with Zebruh. That reminded her she needed to check on Red, maybe Xefros, and Joey too.

Chixie:: Red are you okay? I hope you didn't get hurt on the train.

Chixie texted but received no answer. She waited a few minutes before she actually got worried.

Chixie:: Red are you good? You're worrying me. Please answer me.

Chixie started to panic, frantically texting her missing friend. Someone bumped into her, breaking her out of it. She took a deep breath and stopped herself. It was entirely possible Red was just busy with their matesprit or even could've lost their palm husk in the struggle. She decided to just keep calm. She had to perform in a week and wasn’t about to stress herself even more. She would take a walk to get her mind off of things.

She wandered around the concert venue and the various dressing rooms. To her surprise, the lowblood dressing rooms were pretty nice, at least compared to other places she performed. Despite being fully furnished, they were very spacious, there was even a food storage unit! Chixie put up her costumes and backup gear before going to look at herself in the vanity mirror. She's been waiting for an opportunity like this for a long time, and it still felt unreal that it was coming to fruition. She looked at herself for a few seconds more before taking a breath and turning with a skip in her step, walking to the door. Because they arrived so early she had time to take in the sites and actually enjoy herself. She opened the door, excited to look around, only to see a cluster of different casted trolls screaming and crowding around something. She was curious as to what was going on, and that’s when she noticed the lopsided horns and clown makeup. It was that Marvus guy again.

The bronzeblood instinctively narrowed her eyes to the exit, doing her best not to glance at him for even a second. Over the many sweeps she'd been alive she'd perfected the art of avoiding being on any highblood's radar. Unfortunately, her only and biggest failure to date was her meeting with Zebruh, that bastard could smell a lowblood from 50 miles away. Hopefully, the purpleblood wasn't as chronically horny for lowbloods as he was, so she could get by without getting sucked into the crowd and moshed to death. She moved along the wall as fast as she could, pushing past anyone in her way, and apologizing profusely while doing so. She jerked back when a hand grabbed her arm, and she spun around to face an excited olive blood.

"Hey! Can you take a picture of me with Marvus real quick?" She asked excitedly. It was more of a demand, but Chixie was too panicked to even care. She froze immediately, desperately wanting to say no, but this fan seemed awfully young and excited, borderline pushy.

"S-s-sure?" Chixie squeaked out. The olive blood squealed and shoved her palmhusk into her hands. She scrambled to grasp it before it could fall and break, potentially bringing her more pain than she was already going through.

Chixie held onto the device as if her life depended on it which, knowing how fierce olives tend to be, it just might. They both made their way to the middle of the clump, where the clown stood. Chixie did her best to avoid looking at him directly but her nerves were already on fire from being so close to so many trolls of a higher caste than her. She couldn't help but notice Marvus's eyes constantly flickering towards her in between sending smiles and waving at his fans. Why did she have to catch the attention of so many damn highbloods, and the day wasn't even over yet. She should've known only bad things would happen the second she left her dressing room and saw the same purple pecs that Zebruh was so obsessed with.

The small olive gasped and gawked as she walked up to him. She started going on about how much she loved him, how she wanted to be as rich and famous as him one day, prolonging the bronze girl’s torture. Luckily, Marvus eventually cut her off and offered to take a picture with her. It was like he had already heard the entire exchange and was just trying to move things along so Chixie could leave faster. If she didn't already know no highblood would be kind enough to care about her comfort, she would cry in thanks to him.

He scooped the olive girl up into his arms, giving his widest smile. It took Chixie a second to fully calm her nerves and take the picture. But, after the flash went off no more than twice Marvus immediately let go of the olive and moved on to the next person, leaving the girl just enthralled enough to take her palmhusk from Chixie without complaint, or a “thank you” for that matter. She immediately dived out of the crowd the second the device left her hand and jetted out of the hall. She didn't stop running until she was outside and could no longer hear the clatter of all of Marvus's fans.

She found herself panting and wheezing for air. She felt like throwing up, just barely managing to keep it in, when she felt a hand pat her on the back.

“Are you okay?”, a familiar voice said to her. She turned her head to see Joey, with Xefros standing behind her, both equally concerned.

“Ye-yeah I’m fine,” She said as she slowly straightened her posture. 

How embarrassing. 

Running into her newest friends only to be caught dry heaving outside.

“Just a bit…nervous.” She fidgeted with her fingers a bit, her nerves still rattling.

"Are you sure? We can go get something to drink to settle your stomach," Joey offered, offering her arm to Chixie in assistance.She wrapped her arm around Joey’s to settle herself.

“No, no! I’m Okay really!” 

"Hmmm- oh! We have some cookies! Maybe eating that will help?" She happily offered. It was becoming clearer to Chixie that Joey wasn’t gonna give up till she was one hundred percent okay. Which she admired deeply, she just really wasn’t used to being treated like this, by…anyone really. She settled on eating a few cookies, she actually hadn’t eaten anything all day. She wasn't expecting to be offered food either so this was a welcome change. She can now say she doesn't completely regret coming outside. Joey looked at the slight smile on Chixie's as she ate the cookie and sent a quick look to Xefros that he exasperatedly nodded to. She put on a gentle grin before looking back at Chixie.

"Hey, do you want to join us? We're looking around cause we've never been here before. We would love for you to tag along,"  Joey said with a friendly smile.

Chixie became extremely flustered. She had been referring to them as her friends in her head but she didn't expect them to actually want to spend time with her. 

Stress-free time spent with people that actually liked her for who she was and not what she could do for them? This was very very new to her, and she loved it. She tripped over her tongue for a bit before shutting her mouth and nodding rapidly.

"I'd love to hang out with you two!" She could see it now. No judgment, no expectations, no getting ordered around or felt up. It would be glorious. 

"Great, let's go!”Joey immediately grabbed her hand and Xefros’s and with a skip in her step, they were off exploring the various vendors and pre-shows.