#weird: my humanoid body is a colony of living bugs

[elgaberino-mcoc]

InfoGraphic: The Trope Road to Spiders-Man

Originally posted as part of a mailbag reply about Spiders-Man.

[cupofsorrows]

A Conceptual Post About Pokémon as D&D Monsters

I know, I know, it’s been done before, but I’ve been having a lot of ideas about D&D lately and it occurred to me that it might be fun to try to adapt Pokemon to the standard dnd setting(s) - that is, not just copying them wholesale as in, “you open the dungeon door and see a pikachu” but taking the concept of the creature and placing it in your world as something that genuinely belonged there. Like, say, You confront your party with a large turtle-monster that sprays high-powered water jets as its primary mode of attack. It’s essentially a blastoise, but that isn’t what it’s called and it doesn’t necessarily have to follow the rules that an actual blastoise would in the pokemon games. I’ve seen pokemon stat block writeups before, but they’re usually pretty straightforward “this is a psyduck” type deals, and what I’m interested in is retooling the monster to fit in a different world (while keeping the core of it intact). What’s it called (if it has a different name)? Where does it come from in your world, and where does it live? If the original had evolutions, does this version? Lots of potential there. To that end, here are a few pokemon that I think have particularly interesting concepts:

Phantump: Honestly all of the ghost pokemon have interesting concepts but I didn’t want to have a disproportionate number of ghost-types so I chose this one. Core concept is a furtive little forest spirit that uses old tree stumps (or perhaps fallen logs) as surrogate bodies/protective shells. Canon lore says they’re supposedly the spirits of children who died in the forest, so take or leave that as you please. Now, none of these suggestions have to look exactly like their inspirations as long as they convey the idea - for instance I sort of imagine these guys as little humanoid figures made of gnarled wood, which also gives me distinct skull-kid-from-LoZ vibes (but maybe that should be a separate post...)

Heliolisk: I don’t really know what drew me to this critter in particular, except that ‘solar-powered lizard that can shoot electricity and stuff’ is just a good creature to put in a made-up world (probably in a desert region). It even has “-lisk” in its name, like the more infamous basilisk, so it already sounds like it SHOULD be a mythical creature. As I’m writing this I realize that it strongly resembles the already-in-dnd shocker lizard, but come on, this thing is way more badass. Also I was just reading about it on Bulbapedia and apparently it can run super-fast? so... that’s in there, too.

Snorlax or Slaking: Look I just like the concept of a big hairy beast that’s super strong but spends almost all of its time asleep. Not even sure that would affect its stats but it’s great flavor.

Zygarde: A host of tiny organisms - maybe even single-celled - which can come together to form larger gestalt creatures (most famously a massive serpent/worm, but even more powerful forms may be possible). Should be a very powerful, possibly unique, individual, since it is a legendary pokemon.

Dhelmise: Sentient algae that uses marine detritus as a ‘skeleton’? The ghost type delivers again! I imagine that before humans were responsible for so much stuff being in the ocean these must have used a lot of animal bones (and maybe some driftwood) instead.

Seismitoad: I think there are already frog monsters with sonic attacks, but that was only half of the appeal for me here, the other half being ‘large bipedal frog’. I hold this as being very different from bullywugs, grippli, or any other amphibian-based humanoids: While froglike, those are all still fundamentally types of people, whereas this beast is first and foremost a frog. A frog that walks upright and has opposable thumbs. This also works with poliwhirl/poliwrath and croagunk/toxicroak, but then the sonic/vibration stuff won this one out for me by a slim margin. (Addendum: I have come to the realization that seismitoad and croagunk don’t actually have opposable thumbs according to their artwork. Whatever, just fudge it.)

Tropius: This one’s just plain weird. Like, almost exeggcutor-level weird (dang, maybe I should have chosen exeggcutor instead. But tropius is less famously weird. Side note: what’s up with pokemon based on palmlike plants?) It’s part small sauropod dinosaur, part banana tree, and while I’m not sure whether it should be classified as a plant or not, I do know that it can definitely fly. Also, it produces delicious fruit you can eat!

Parasect: You probably figured I was going to mention this one. Everyone thinks of paras and parasect when they think of pokemon with weird but cool concepts. MY take is that the fungus could infest different types of giant vermin, perhaps making it the basis for a template. Or not; these are just suggestions. Do whatever.

Larvesta and Volcarona: Maybe I’m just on a kick from all the GKOTM fanart I’ve been seeing, but giant fire-spitting caterpillar + giant fiery moth adult seems like a creature idea worth exploring. Larvesta also takes longer to evolve than any other stage-one pokemon, which I see as representing a long time spent in larval form (or pupated), which in turn resembles kaiju’s long periods of ‘dormancy’, bringing us back to Mothra (as all things must). Also, I think larvesta/volcarona are the only bug/fire types in the whole series so far? That’s nuts to me but it just makes them even more special.

Abra: Honestly the way this guy looks is like 90% of the appeal for me here. Abra looks like an armadillo tried to evolve into a monkey and somehow ended up with psychic powers in the process. It levitates and teleports, and according to the lore it’s usually asleep but thanks to its psychic powers is still aware of its surroundings. That’s right, its eyes aren’t really narrow, they’re just closed all the time. Do any images of abra with its eyes open exist? If they do, are we prepared to see them? As always, don’t feel like you have to give any of these guys evolved forms just because they evolve in the games. I’m definitely not saying this here specifically because I like abra’s design more than its evolutions, no sir.

Pinsir or Heracross: Pretty much the same as with the toads a few entries above. Clearly not people, but just vaguely reminiscent enough to maybe be just a little unsettling. C’mon, I know they’re cute in the games and the show but tell me you wouldn’t be at least slightly perturbed if you saw a real-life beetle the size of a 10-year-old trundling around on two legs. Even if you thought it was rad as hell you’d still get out of there pretty quick if it started trundling towards you.

Slowpoke: Listen if you don’t get the appeal of a semi-aquatic, ambiguously mammalian quadruped that has psychic capabilities but is also comically oblivious to external stimuli then I just don’t know what to tell you.

Barbaracle: Colonial organism sort of like Zygarde, except the individual parts are bigger. It could even be modular, with the various ‘limbs’ combining in different ways, although that could also complicate the stat block.

Gothitelle: Conceptually I suppose this is just another humanoid psychic creature, but a while ago I saw someone point out how its frills and whatnot are sort of reminiscent of a sea slug, and damned if ‘anthropomorphic nudibranch’ doesn’t get my blood flowing.

Rapidash: Pretty simple, a unicorn variant/non-evil fire horse. Who wouldn’t want one of those?

Necrozma: I never actually played Sun and Moon 2, nor did I get too deep into the postgame ultra beast stuff in SuMo 1, so regrettably I missed out on a lot of the wonderful interdimensional weirdness. While each ultra beast is appealing in its own way, Necrozma is practically a Lovecraftian Great Old One already what with how it was once an interstellar being of heat and light but was somehow injured or depleted and has now become a completely different creature that travels from world to world absorbing all light. That’s a pretty raw concept for any story, let alone a cute kid’s game. And it’s always a plus when something can be cool and threatening while still being safe for a G rating! You could also do what SuMo2 did and take your heroes to a world that’s already had its light stolen by the beast, to explore how the inhabitants of that world have been affected as well as show what awaits the heroes’ world... or just as a nice change of scenery. Lastly there’s the possibility that Necrozma must ultimately be defeated not through violence, but by figuring out how to restore it to its original form. It isn’t too often that the cosmic monstrosity could actually use your help, and it might leave the PCs feeling like they really accomplished something epic. Alternately, it returning to its original form also makes a great homage to the multiple forms of every JRPG final boss ever, a trope that has been under-represented in D&D for TOO LONG.

...and that’s it, at least for now. Naturally, there are about a thousand other possibilities, including different ways of interpreting the examples I’ve provided here. I suppose they could also be used for purposes besides D&D, although if you’re going to put any of this in the fantasy novel you’ve been working on I suggest you be extra diligent in obfuscating the creatures’ actual origins so as to avoid a visit from any lawyers. I don’t know if anybody is actually even going to see this post at all, but if it does end up getting around, then I fully encourage all of you to put your own spins on this if you’re inspired to do so! I’d love to see what other people might come up with.

[thesumlax]

Introduction to the Wyrmspawn

Alright, I can`t really draw right now, but I can at least somewhat explain what the hell do I want to do. It`s kind of a mishmash of my older ideas given a (hopefully) more original new form.

At the beginning, the world was populated by gigantic Wyrms, each one of a kind, who for one reason or another battled each other until they died out. From their bodies appeared Wyrmspawn - multiple more or less sentient, eusocial “species” (the Broods), each with a wide variety of forms or castes. Broods generally consist of multiple separate colonies. Each Brood is markedly distinct from others, but they all have a few things in common, differentiating them from the Unspawned (aka normal creatures). 

Ormotes are something between immune cells and magical nanobots. They`re very Brood-specific and have a wide variety of functions. Ormote exchange between individuals is crucial to maintaining colony integrity and inducting new members, and can also transfer genetic and other information.

Substratum is something that marks the colony`s grounds - from almost mundane micelium to a layer of magical goo. It`s functions are also highly variable depending on the Brood, of course.

Lesser forms are more simple and animalistic creatures created by intelligent Wyrmspawn for various tasks.

***

There is a great number of different Broods, but let us begin with just two of them.

Ambolokoth may be probably described as “forest elves”, but this won`t really do them justice. They`re kind of part fungus, and by extension plant (since fungi and palnts are best friends) and bug (since bugs and fungi are both chitionous). They have relatively soft bodies protected by a shapeshifting-capable fungal mantle that forms a variety of structures (like “clothing” and “hair” in the more humanoid Ambolokoth, or just carapace). 

Their ormotes are sort of like fungal spores that can even be released as dust, and their substratum is a mycelium that can produce a variety of useful fungi and plants. 

They live in giant trees (that are technically Unspawned infected with ormotes) and feed mostly on things like carrion and other rotting garbage, cause that`s what fungi do. Interestingly, they produce something between milk and honey to feed their larvae and non-foraging colony members, instead of just regurgutating their food like bees. 

Ambolokoth`s reproductive caste are the Rootmothers - enormous sessile creatures living attached to the roots of ther home-trees, who collect genetic material of colony members via the polyp-like organs at their root-like tentacles, and produce gelatinous egg-friut from appendages that grow into special cavities in the tree`s trunk.

***

Amvalassar are basically polymorphic sentient rocks - their semiroganic bodies consist of a variety of crystalline organs and “bones” in a somewhat gelatinous flesh that shifts shape not unlike the Ambolokoth`s mantle. Their more mutable bodies don`t make them more adaptable though, since their unusual biochemistry imposes a series of drawbacks.

Their ormotes are very similar to their normal cells and less mobile that in other Wyrmspawn, often forming macroscopic crystalline structures. Theri substratum is a weird crystal mold that`s vitally importantto their lives - generally, Amvalassar can only eat the “fruit” it produces, while the mold itself gladly digests almost anything organic (and a number of minerals Amvalassar need). It`s also able to photosynthesize, but this isn`t usually sufficient. 

Reproductive Amvalassar are the Miners - heavy-set, intelligent, and secretive burrowing creatures that dig deep underground to repdoduce. They collect spermatophores (for the lack of a better word) from other Amvalassar - these carry not just genes, but everything the Miners need to know about the individuals producing them. Only Miners themselves really know how their actual reproductive processes work, but the typical end result is a seed that`s implanted in the mine`s wall via Miner`s powerful stinger. These walls are covered in a thick layer of crystal mold that nourishes the offspring and allows it to be born large and well-developed, but the mines demand a steady supply of nutrients. Therefore, Amvalassar are always looking for anything edible to throw down the mineshaft - and it turns out, all these groves and forests around their home mountains are full of food...

...and angry territorial Ambolokoth. Oh boy.

[elgaberino-mcoc]

MAILBAG: SPIDERS-MAN not a typo

(for context)

The idea that a swarm of bugs could eat you while your psyche survives as their hive-mind—forming the bugs into a humanoid shape—is decades old. Cf. the villain Swarm, the Other, Bride of Nine Spiders. 

For the MCOC Wishlist, Spiders-Man is low priority.