#weird things that scared me
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Autie Things: The Buildings of New Haven
Like most of my random hyperfixations, what I'll talk about in this post will get... Weird. To say the least. You onboard?
I grew up in and around New Haven, Connecticut. I frequently go through it or have to go there.
Years and years ago, my father used to live on a hill overlooking that whole city. New Haven is nothing like, say, New York. Or even fellow CT cities like Hartford. It has some fairly tall buildings, like the CT Financial Center and the Knights of Columbus building, but nothing truly towering. From my dad's house, however, the view showed me a nice assortment of different buildings of varying design styles. Many of them marked by the eras they were planned and built during.
The upstairs part of my father's house had a wide room, which he had used as the TV room and our room for when we'd visit on the weekends. There were two windows where one could look out, and on almost any day... You could see the whole city of New Haven. All of it, almost like it was laid out on a line. Every single building. One of my aunts would often tell me, "When you looked out those windows, you'd always say 'Castles!'"
And, thinking about that, in a way... To a roughly 4-year-old autistic kid, the eclecticism of those buildings would indeed suggest "castles"...
The above photo was taken by me in early 2022. The skyline was about the same back in the mid-to-late '90s, minus two buildings seen here: The wide and tall one off to the left was finished around 2009, ditto the tall rectangular one (that you can see between the two telephone polls). There was also another very visible building that used to be right next to the Yale New Haven Hospital... Come to think of it, it kinda looks like 4-bars forming a hand flipping the bird...
(Photo credit: Cuozzo Realtors / iStock)
The building that stuck out to me the most was the Yale-New Haven Children's Hospital... This... Very strange looking thing:
(Photo credit: Wikipedia)
From a distance, those top story windows with the blue paneling (?) looked like... Weird sorta "eyes" to me. Like it was a three-eyed alien building or something. Staring straight at me, looking out my dad's house's top floor windows... Okay, I probably didn't think it a creature or anything, but it always looked so weird and so idiosyncratic to me. It was, after all, probably the newest building of the bunch, as it had been finished in 1993. Everything else spanned roughly the '50s to the '70s. That Knights of Columbus tower, for example, was finished in 1969. It used to be right next to the New Haven Coliseum, which was destroyed in early 2007. I stood and watched the implosion, too, out in the cold that morning...
So, as a kid, whenever I'd visit my dad on the weekends, we'd go a lot of places. That meant, I saw this skyline from different angles all across the border of the city, and on the shores of various beaches as well. Lighthouse Point, for example, has a great view of the city. Two massive rocks overlook the city as well, West Rock and East Rock... Imaginative names, but whatever! The university I went to is right next to West Rock, which was always cool. And I've been up both of those rocks many times. And it was neat seeing the buildings in a different order, different from the view from my dad's house: From different angles, some buildings off to the side while others are a lot more front and center. My focal point was always the hospital, so it was interesting seeing it go from the far left to the middle and sometimes even the right... And then out of view! Such as this view from a cemetery at the bottom of the hills...
I also took this photo in early 2022.
But really, there's a charm - to me - with a city this size and all this land around it rather than just water. Driving through different sections of town, seeing this city - which I feel has a distinct character of its own, then and now - from all the different angles... Maybe this all, in some way or another, informed my general love of layout in animated movies. The perspective with which everything was mapped and planned out. Or just a general fascination with perspective, the way anything - be it a city or a small object - is drawn or photographed or shot...
As you may expect, if you've followed me for a while, I drew this city skyline quite a lot! I incorporate Connecticut settings, New Haven especially, into a lot of stories I write. As a child, I always asked my dad to pull out his New Haven County Atlas. Yes, I was a weird kid who could look at the atlas for like an hour or two. I'd draw maps of New Haven myself, because I was one of those auties who had to recreate things to understand them and break them apart and such... And also, I just found them fascinating! The ways the roads looked like grids, the way the highways and exits were all noodley and curly and such, it all just... Well, to put it the way the cool kids put it, it was SATISFYING to look at... It was to the point where my classmates knew me as the map-making kid. I loved globes and world maps and geography. The way things looked when drawn out, how some continents had weird shapes, etc... You'd guess right that I played SIMCITY a lot. I also had this... I wanna say it was a catalogue-order educational game from the late 1990s called MAKE-A-MAP 3D. I'd play those for hours! I'd fixate, as a teen, on the overhead maps seen in games like the GRAND THEFT AUTO entries or JAK II. And as an adult writer/artist/comic creator? You better believe I make maps of the locations where my stuff takes place!
The other day, when I thought I had gotten lost during a long night drive, I used those core memory New Haven County Atlas readings to help me find my way back without the Maps app! I knew one day, that "useless" knowledge I collected in 2nd grade would come in handy!
I'll go a little bit off track here, because that's what I do... Part of this was also fueled by... Fear...
There was a building that we went by on the way to my father's house back in the day. It was very visible from the highway. It was an apartment complex, and its first floor housed a bar and grill called Humphrey's. A massive, orange, cursive neon sign hung from the side of this complex, going vertically up the building. A very unique idea, for sure. Not the side of the building as a sign that juts out from the building itself, nor on top of the roof... Plastered onto the brick wall. At night, it glowed very brightly. It was freakin' BIG.
And for some reason, it FRIGHTENED me when I saw it close-up. From a distance, it weirded me out, but I was even more afraid of it when seeing it up close. I couldn't tell you why... Was it the weird cursive? The orange color? I already had a thing with neon signs because I assumed they'd burn me, like a light bulb would. I would have nightmares about the sign, such as particularly mean one (thanks a lot, brain!) where I was at my dad's house... And on the window, at night, was the sign. Plastered right against it! Ahhhh!
Sometimes, my autie brain couldn't wrap my head around how weird certain things looked... While, strangely, accepting other weird things. Even weirder things, stuff that was **meant** to be scary. Around the time I feared the "Humphrey's sign", I was watching shows like COURAGE THE COWARDLY DOG no problemo. I was a weird kid, okay?
Anyways, part of my interest in the county atlas was knowing where that Humphrey Street was. Where's that scary neon sign? But also, where is everything else?
The sign was taken down years and years ago, because all the Humphrey's Grille & Bar restaurants in the state went out of business. I had actually eaten at one of the suburban locations prior to closure, and found it to be... Okay? The owner, funnily enough, was arrested for tax evasion of all things! They should've included "giving nightmares to a young autistic!" hahahaha.
The only photo I could find of the sign, lit up no less, was on Flickr via uploader Adam Sears. So, if you're out there Mr. Sears, thank you for preserving proof of my childhood nightmares!
So where was I... Oh yeah, the skyline of New Haven... So, that's ingrained in me. An early hyperfixation/special interest, that came back every now and then...
And one time, it came back to chomp me in 2007. When I was turning 15 years old, entering sophomore year of high school, and about to mentally collapse due to a series of circumstances I won't get into on this post... There's a road that's largely lined with trees and houses that actually has a unique view of the city. Since it's a main road and you really can't stop on it, there wasn't really any way that I could feasibly get a picture of New Haven from that angle. At least, not back then. But what my dad did once, during that period, was take me up to the high school on the hill above that hill. Of course, on a weekend, so that we could get in. And there, I snapped some okay shots of New Haven... But they weren't exactly the same, but I made due with them. They were for a scene in a story that was specifically planned for that tree-lined road. (Can't you tell, newcomer, by this point that I'm not all there in the head?) Every time we'd go down that road, I'd look - as my dad was at the 40mph speed limit - at the skyline as it whipped by!
I had gotten my license when I was 19, in the year 2011, but I immediately got so scared of driving after an accident... that I wouldn't even dream to drive in and around New Haven. At least, nothing significantly far from home...
And my fear of driving wouldn't be fully kicked until a few years ago, a little before the Omicron variant of COVID-19 was spreading. I had gotten a new vehicle in 2019 and started driving more, starting to have more confidence in myself on the road... But then after COVID-19 first broke out in March of 2020, I wasn't doing... Much of anything, let alone driving! And I didn't practice much at the time, until it was kind of a necessity... A way to escape from certain issues, if you will. I started driving more in mid-2021, and then worked up the confidence to go to places I would've never imagined going. Once I mastered those trips, I was like... I can do anything!
So one day, in January 2022, I finally did it... I went to that road, parked somewhere on one of the neighboring small streets... And tried to get that angle... Tried, being the key word... There's just too many trees here...
And you're probably looking at that, thinking, "What... All that, just for that crumby view??" Yes, it's a crumby view from the photos. Actually being there, I always found it to be unique, and it kinda means something to me. One of those weird "the little things" scenarios, really. Maybe it's something, a feeling that a photo cannot capture.
I'll always love those "castles" and the land outside of those castles, even if they aren't New York's iconic skyscrapers or Los Angeles' landmarks...
#autistic things#autistic#autism#weird stories from childhood#weird things#little things#hyperfixations#weird things that scared me#weird childhood fears#i was a weird kid
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hold shifty gentle like hamburger
#desperately trying to break out of my art block with the guys#anyway happy friday#gravity falls#stanford pines#fiddleford mcgucket#fiddauthor#if u want#i still am disappointed w how the journal handled the shapeshifter. very underwhelming imo#we couldve had a fucked up parental relationship between these guys and their weird homicidal son#or the identity crisis implied by 'am i me? is he me?'#we could've had the thing (1982) but with a much smaller and gayer cast#but instead they just put fiddleford in a box and had him be scared again. lame#artwork of the damned
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i had a dream last night that i organized a tumblr meetup and we all agreed to go to a local bar together. so i go to the bar but it was a really busy night and i didn't want to ask every stranger "are u here for tumblr reasons" bc that's embarrassing and i'm shy. so i just got a drink and felt very awkward & hoped someone would approach me. tried to look inviting and like i was from tumblr but not like i was "from tumblr". when i left some girl stopped me to ask if i was there for the meetup but i was too shy and asked what's tumblr?
in the dream i went home to make a post about how nobody showed up to the tumblr meetup but my entire dash was people saying they'd gone to the bar but were too fucking shy to admit to being on tumblr so we'd all just had a drink and gone home
#i have very vivid usually very logical dreams due to my ptsd#i'm skipping the part where i was really nervous about what to wear bc i didn't want to wear the wrong thing#also the drinks were all pink & with umbrellas . also after this in the dream there was this guy#who had been there in a chicken costume and was ''funny'' but then he was always outside my window#down the street . in the store. etc.#just standing there . moving like he was drowning. he kept signing that he was choking#and i was too scared to help while his feathers .... floating and bloated in the dry air#.... while he begged me with his weird puffy wings. silently. choking and choking and choking. his toes barely touching down#and meanwhile im like sorry dude i gotta jump on tumblr to talk about this bar experience#dream me: okay the drowning on dry land chicken guy is fine. but i draw the line at social anxiety
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My latest completed commission may have been a bit ambitious... because I went wild with it. But I certainly relished in doing so :') Combining my favorite ship with my favorite-ever Disney movie is, uh... a dangerous concoction :'D
The commissioner specifically requested for Azula as Mulan, Sokka as Shang, and Xin Long (my OC dragon from Gladiator) as Mushu. The rest of the cast was up to me to choose, and I pretty much went wild rewatching this movie and picking out some of my favorite moments to recreate them in my style, with these characters. I came up with a lot of correlating characters between both ATLA and 1998's Mulan, but I couldn't hope to draw EVERYTHING, unfortunately. Still, if you want my reasoning for the cast correlation... check out the Read More! Beyond that, feel free to reach out to me if you'd like to commission me, or if you want to join my Patreon!
The Herbalist as Mulan's grandmother might feel arbitrary but she honestly felt like the ATLA elderly lady with the most similar personality to Grandma Fa. Fickle, with a unique connection with a seemingly perfectly ordinary animal, old and sassy? Figured it fit! So for once, the Herbalist is Azula's grandma! xD strange notion, I know, Azulon/Herbalist is not a ship I ever thought I'd accidentally put out in the world but there have been wilder ships than that in this fandom...
Momo became Cri-Kee, I wasn't 100% sold on it but when I considered that Avatar features soooo many hybrid animals... I figured he could be a hybrid cricket-lemur. Weird, I know, but eh? Better than nothing xD
Aang as Chien-Po was a no-brainer. He's the only character I settled on instantly, never even considered anyone else for the role. Their personalities line up really well, and Chien-Po's tendency to be OP and resolve things that are outside of other people's reach sounded like he was prime Avatar material! So, while their dietary preferences are an obvious difference between them, I decided to go for it nonetheless considering all their other similarities!
Kino (another Gladiator OC) is Ling, and he actually did give me a ton of trouble to choose. I considered many characters for the role right up until I realized that Kino's personality actually lines up fairly well with Ling's, down to being a class clown type (who ABSOLUTELY would have cut gym class!) and breaking out in song about the hypothetical woman he'd like to fight for? Yeeeeah that's right up his alley xD but there's another reason why I picked Kino...
... And that is my likely unexpected choice for Yao:
ZUKO.
ZUKO IS YAO.
YES.
I'M NOT EVEN SORRY.
(For the uninitiated, Aang, Zuko and Kino are best friends in Gladiator, very often together, and they make a really good team, so that's the extra reason why Kino became the obvious choice for Ling aside from having really similar personalities, definitely closer personalities than, say, Jet, for instance.)
People have likened Zuko to Shang a LOT since ATLA aired. This is the main reason why I'm even making this huge note! I suspect it's primarily because of the aesthetic, let's be real here, and because he becomes Aang's teacher, but people have exaggerated Zuko's alleged similarities with Shang, or taken them out of proportion, in many ways. I actually remember an AMV ages ago with "Be a Man" and it was Zuko "training the Gaang"?? It... didn't feel right to me. Obviously, someone might rebuff with "well, how does Sokka make MORE sense than that, though?" And believe it or not, I have arguments for that... (when do I not...?)
Not only is this what the commissioner specifically requested (and it obviously lines up with the ship we love!), but let's examine the actual reasons why Sokka as Shang adds up:
Sokka actually had to train a bunch of toddlers who weren't paying any attention to him. You know. Kind of how Shang had to train the unruly soldiers who weren't getting anything right. Sokka has a positive relationship with his dad (Zuko, ofc, does not). Shang also has a positive relationship with his dad! And not only this, but there's a military component to both relationships, specifically with Shang wanting to follow on his father's footsteps and aid him in the war... so much like someone else I know, who jumped at every opportunity to rejoin his father in the war, even wishing to join him as a child until Hakoda tasked him with protecting their Tribe instead (kinda like Shang is tasked with training soldiers rather than joining a battlefield).
And the final cherry-on-top that I'd loooove to hear Zuko fans try to argue against... is sexism :') didn't Sokka get characterized as a sexist guy for four episodes, which made people decide that this was his main character trait even if it went away that quickly? Um, yes, that happened. Shang literally sings the memorable song that's a crazy ode to masculinity, including the rather sexist line of "did they send me daughters when I asked for sons". Shang outright abandons Mulan once they discover that she was a woman all along (while, admittedly, choosing to abandon her rather than KILL HER, which as we saw from Chi-Fu, he was NOT supposed to spare her!)...
So, is this REALLY what Zuko fans, who willfully believe their boy is a feminist king (... why? beats me...) are trying to compare their unproblematic blorbo to? :'D Me? I have no problem linking Sokka with Shang due to Sokka's beginnings and due to the fact that both Shang and Sokka have similar growth when it comes to accepting femininity is as valid as masculinity, and as they both learn to respect women as fighters and potential heroes! (I simply do not believe Sokka's ENTIRE tenure in ATLA was about that, though, and that's what I continue to clash with the fandom over...) So... all this is why I've reasoned that Sokka is a VERY solid choice for Shang, in fact, better than Zuko could hope to be.
... but this isn't all.
Maybe some might accept my arguments for Sokka-Shang. And then, they might ask:
WHY ZUKO AS YAO, THO??
... And the truth is it took me long to see it, myself, but HOLY SHIT, DOES IT FIT!
What is the primary thing we remember about Yao in Mulan? This guy is constantly itching for a fight, to prove himself, surely riddled with insecurities that he exteriorizes through overcompensation of masculinity. He's funny as fuck, but he's taking himself 100% seriously as a manly man all the time, and he's always ready for violence. But there's one more thing...
He treats Mulan as his RIVAL.
And more often than not? SHE SCREWS HIM OVER. Intentionally or not.
What does that sound like? Why, yes, it sounds a LOT like Azula and Zuko's sibling relationship!
The fact that Yao is a temperamental dude who lashes out easily at things (oh, something he has in common with Zuko!), that he specifically resents Mulan (in this case, Azula, just as Zuko does!) and is either constantly looking to defeat her and prove his superiority over her (... wait, just as Zuko with Azula??), that he has a black eye perpetually across the movie, and it's his LEFT EYE (just as Zuko's scar is on his left eye! :'D), that he's friends with a pacifist he has basically nothing in common with, personality-wise (just like Zuko and Aang!), and that he pretty much has a REDEMPTION ARC in which he goes from a bitter, asshole rival to Mulan to treating her as a friend and ally, to the point where he was disappointed to leave her behind and THEN joined her at once when she says she has a plan? :') I have always been critical of Zuko's redemption arc, goes without saying. But if ANY of these characters redeemed himself in any significant way, it certainly seems to be Yao to me, and with people gushing NON-STOP about Zuko's redemption? Why, he ought to be the character who goes from bitter rival to loyal friend, right?
So. I'm not even sorry. Zuko is Yao. And I'd dare say that he should be flattered by the comparison, even, because Yao ends up being cool as FUCK!
I don't really talk about this much nowadays, but Mulan was my favorite Disney movie growing up, it ABSOLUTELY had a formative influence on me as a little girl, and Mulan was my favorite female character for a looooong time. Thus, any excuse to rewatch this movie makes me happy as heck. With the wisdom of age I know, of course, that it's not perfect, it's not what China wants, it's not the most thoughtful depiction of Chinese culture or the most faithful adaptation of Mulan's poem (... but I'd also dare bring up that the 2009 Chinese adaptation ISN'T all that faithful either...), but it has a kind of magic in it, a solid storytelling flow, so many memorable moments one after the next, that I could hardly choose which scenes to depict... Disney has never again seen the storytelling heights it reached with Mulan in 1998. I don't even care if that's a controversial opinion in any way... this is their best animated feature for me, and nobody can change my mind.
So... depicting Azula, my beloved, in all these scenarios as this character I adored and idolized as a child, was so damn fulfilling for me. While some might think that, personality-wise, these two ladies don't have much in common, the fact that Mulan is sent to a matchmaker who basically tells her she looks good but is going to be the worst wife ever...? Our girl Azula, with all those insecurities about being unloveable and a monster, probably would relate big time to that.
Mulan is also an INTELLIGENT soldier rather than a brawny one, which is how she starts to make progress in the army, it's how she manages to overcome the huns with that avalanche... and Azula's primary difference with most other antagonists in ATLA is that she's smart as fuck. She is very strong, no doubt, but a LOT of that strength comes from her intelligence, from assessing situations in unique ways, from planning and strategizing. The way Mulan finds the most unexpected solutions that still pay off reminds me a lot of how Azula achieves unexpected feats through rather unorthodox means, capable of taking over a city with basically no bloodshed while her nation has spent 100 years trying and failing to do so through major army incursions and who knows how much senseless violence. Obviously, I'm not saying what Azula did is GOOD and it's kind of dumb that we always have to point that out... I'm merely comparing the magnitude of the feats, and the fact that they both come from ladies who use strategy and intelligence to achieve their goals rather than muscle and physical power.
And while anyone would rage at me for the comparison between Fa Zhou (her dad) and Ozai, the truth is the dynamic between them CAN be compared, if loosely: Mulan literally goes to war to keep her father safe. Azula goes to war under her father's orders. Hell, she makes herself BAIT in the Eclipse to make sure the Gaang won't get to her dad?? While it's very much possible to say that both characters have different personalities and attitudes in life... I'd also bring up that their contexts are evidently completely different. I wouldn't say for certain that Azula, had she been raised outside a Royal Family, would be EXACTLY like Mulan... but they might have more similar traits than one might expect. Ultimately, though... I love them both. And this opportunity to swap their places was pretty much a dream come true!
Alright, that was plenty of rambling xD ultimately, I had a blast doing this commission, as I'm sure is obvious by now. So! If anyone wants to commission me, feel free to check out my prices right here and hit me up if you're interested!
#sokkla#sokka#azula#mulan au#xin long#zuko#aang#kino#the herbalist#momo#if you squint he's there okay he is just too damn complicated as a hybrid cricket-lemur alright#Xin Long is scale-less because he was too small and it was gonna look weird so for once he was a little less tricky :'D#I wish I could've had MORE epic scenes really this movie is a goddamn GEM#goldmine of glorious moments#it's just wonderful#I usually get sick of things as I work too much with them...#... Sokkla and Mulan are clearly a glorious exception to that rule#I wish I could've put in scenes with other correlating characters#Combustion Man was gonna be Shan-Yu#Chi-Fu was gonna be Long Feng#I can't remember who I had in mind for the emperor anymore#wasn't Kuei because he had to be old but welp#and yes it's too bad it's too sad there are not enough female characters here for the rest of the ATLA female cast...#but while I BRIEFLY considered making Toph one of the trio (Yao ofc)#the naked scene convinced me of the opposite quickly#... Toph would not succeed at convincing anyone that she was born a man she would straight up not even try#she'd just beat everyone up and scare them into shutting up#and while I'd LOVE to see that... it absolutely takes out the stakes from Azula being discovered as a woman pretending to be a man :'D#how tf would you kick one girl out while keeping the other one in the army#when the other one should be bold enough to stand on a rock in her birthday suit showing herself off in front of everyone
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KNOW THY ENEMY, katherine + elena.
#the vampire diaries#tvd#tvdedit#thevampirediariesedit#elena gilbert#katherine pierce#kelena#elenagilbertedit#katherinepierceedit#smallscreensource#femalegifsource#femalecharacters#katherine stan club#elena stan club#my gifs*#mine*#ik its small but i think nonstop about how nina put so much thought into how she interacted w herself in these scenes and just...#how elena exposes her throat... how katherine looks to her first and last always....#i think elena rly wasnt scared of kat because she appreciated herselfmore when she met her#and thought maybe she could really break katherines shell and they could be close eventually#even in her fake fight with stefan earlier in the season she chooses to say 'how could you love me but hate her' which is weird considering#all the other things katherine did lol
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I will never stop thinking about Red's "I'm your best friend?" scene because if you think about it the trio live alone so the only other person that he could consider Duck's best friend is Yellow, i.e. the guy he bites on a daily basis
#don't hug me i'm scared#dhmis#dhmis series#red guy#bird guy#duck#outdesign posts things#or he just thought one of the weird talking objects was his friend idk#greatest hits
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Finished themmm
Accidentally
I planned on going to bed early as a celebration, but then I looked at my unfinished pf of Siffrin in the sketchbook and boom couple of hours of sketching, lining and coloring and the beans are now officially paper figured
I can now randomly take photos of them in a forest whenever I feel like it. I have couple pfs on me every day just in case of this happening
#fanart#my art#paper figures#isat#isat siffrin#isat loop#siffrin#loop#in stars and time#Are you ready for me to break it to you? No?#That scene on the laptop? A screenshot#It is a recent one tho#I replayed that hangout just before finishing act 3 for the achievement that required act 4#But I did pretty much play like that#God just thinking about my first playthrough try on this fills me with anxiety#I was so scared it would be the only time they get to talk before actually playing through the game normally#Preparing for bed found me two coins I guess those two really are coin magnets#I actually did Siffrin's hat at least at line-color but I'm still figuring out how to get them to wear it#I THINK I have an idea tho#But anyway#it's 3:30 am#They're also so tiny#Like I worried they'd be too big so now they're pretty average-small next to my last ones#Drawing pf of Loop was actually a really random idea and getting them to mirror Siffrin's pose wasn't hard to think of#I don't usually draw characters facing the other way tho it was weird#The funniest thing was me forgetting Siffrin's eyepatch until the very end while being perfectly aware of making Loop's eyes different colo#That moment of realization was funny just as much as terrifying
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#genuinely who was the scientist who thought making this thing was a good idea#he will LITERALLY stomp you with his hooves#like. he's “grandma theres a weird fucking cat outside its scaring lucy” core to me#poppy playtime#poppy playtime spoilers#poppy playtime ch3#poppy playtime chapter 3#catnap#smiling critters#catnap poppy playtime#body horror tw#scopophobia tw
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Reread/skimmed my oldest Pharma apologism posts (mainly the ones about Pharma not being a functionist) and it just occurred to me that possibly another reason the fandom saddled Pharma with the "functionist bigot" label is because his introduction by First Aid says that everyone hates Decepticons, but Pharma really really hates Decepticons. Mix that with the portion of the fanbase that lionizes and whitewashes the Decepticons, and I can easily see it entering common fanon that "Pharma hates Decepticons -> the Decepticons are freedom fighters wrongly maligned by the Autobots/the franchise -> Pharma must be a bigoted functionist since he hates Decepticons who represent freedom."
The simpler explanation is just that Pharma is an antagonist and therefore gets the "everything about him must be evil and wrong" black-and-white analysis so common in fandoms in general, but given some of the bizarre Decepticon takes I've seen I can also easily see Pharma's Decepticon hatred being taken as a sign of him being bigoted and evil.
Though AGAIN in this case it would still be singling Pharma out as a bigot for crimes/flaws that multiple other Autobots are guilty of like.
Oh, Pharma hates Decepticons? Well a lot of other Autobots hate Decepticons too, First Aid's narration about Pharma even says "we all hate Decepticons"; for that matter, there are a lot of Decepticons who hate Autobots. It's a massive civil war that's lasted for a lifetime causing two groups of people to be stuck in a near-permanent blood feud, you can't assume that every Autobot who hates Decepticons (and vice versa) hates them because they're a bigot. Maybe there's been a war where both sides have been building an ever-increasing mountain of reasons to hate each other, so hating the opposite faction is a social problem caused by war and politics rather than a sign of individual moral failing.
Pharma worked at the New Institute so that means he must be evil/bigoted? Chromedome and Brainstorm also worked at the New Institute, but there's no widespread fandom shunning of them or headcanoning them as bigots.
Hell, even the very premise of assuming Pharma is a functionist bigot for hating Decepticons is ignoring the very premise of Pharma's motives, which are, uh... being blackmailed by the leader of the Decepticon Justice Division, who represents the ultimate form of Decepticon ideals to the point of literally wearing their symbol as his mask? So how were we jumping straight to "oh Pharma hates Decepticons bc he's a posh bigoted functionist" when there was a far more immediate interpretation/headcanon of "Pharma hates Decepticons because he's being tortured and blackmailed by one."
That's not to say that Pharma couldn't have hated Decepticons before Delphi, and I think you could make interesting headcanons/extrapolations based on either idea. But still. It kinda feels like people saw Pharma and just wanted to make him the Token Evil Autobot who's the opposite of our Good Heroic Autobots regardless of whether evidence from canon supported it or not.
Good riddance to bigoted functionist Pharma fanon, I'm so glad that the majority of Pharma fanon these days actually gives him a chance and puts him on equal footing as other Autobots.
#squiggposting#that and there's that weird thing where people treat(ed) pharma as if he's starscream lite#so like bc they see starscream as posh and elitist and vain (how did that happen btw)#they basically go oh pharma must also be the same way#also how did ppl ever see pharma as posh when he speaks in the same register as everyone else and if anything has a campy flair to him#you can't look me in the eye and tell me this chaotic theatrical gremlin ass freak is a posh elitist like slkfjsldk#not mentioning the flyers=oppressed thing in this meta bc that bit of worldbuilding was established way later#tho i cannot entirely fault ppl for painting pharma as evil and treating him with double standards compared to other autobots#i mean literally in the same issue he was introduced he caught flak for giving in to DJD blackmail#whereas other characters explicitly speak about how scary/scared they are of the djd#so like it's clear pharma WAS meant to be the token evil autobot with compromised morals#who was so selfish as to (gasp) take a blackmail deal to keep him and his facility from painful torturous death#and then when he was already trapped in the deal be forced to eventually kill patients to keep up#how dare he. should've stood up to tarn and instantly been murdered like a good autobot#sorry for being pithy lol the apologism got a little too strong there#pharma apologism#also i think the way JRO writes if pharma was supposed to be bigoted you would like. be able to tell#JRO is not subtle about writing p much every bigoted character as massively flamingly racist/functionist/etc
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Was kinda bored and thought of this :] (he's not making it)
Me and the homies when we're scared and don't hug
#dhmis#dhmis duck#dhmis red guy#dhmis yellow guy#yellow guy#duck guy#red guy#dhmis carehound#i love drawing the weird green quacker he's so fun#dhmis art#dhmis fanart#dont hug me im scared#don't hug me i'm scared#yay two .... things !! in one post !! hooray for me !!
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I’ve been seeing a lot of ST posts about the monsters and stuff with the tags ‘horror’ and stuff,sometimes I forget ST is a horror and not a silly little show about 2 boys in love 😭
#byler#stranger things#I do love the jump scares they have tho😭#That scene with Nancy and the weird fleshy thing😭😭😭😭#It’s more the suspense tbh for me plus I get scared quite easily 💀#mike wheeler is gay#michael wheeler i know what you are#byler endgame#will byers#mike wheeler#byler is canon#Thinking about it from a delulu perspective the monsters symbolise the ‘monsters of real life’#If that makes any sense-it’s the only way I could explain it without making a rlly long separate post😭
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Everybody has voting power! I have my own preference, but I'm really curious what would you chose! Let me know in the poll and don't forget to share so we reach 40 bundles sales! We are not that far!! If anything is unclear just let me know <3 Also, I imagine the button pin would do great on a grocery bag, I think it would associate for me with the calendar bundle, and therefore remind me to take the grocery list (written on the Klance seasonal to-do lists XD) mmezzy.bigcartel.com
#klance#laith#talking about reminders and all#i always thought of myself as an organised person - not very aethetic kind or organization but i always thought of myself as diligent#but apparently my methods to remember are unusual like leaving a bag in the middle of the room#like forming one habit and then attaching things to that habit (ex closing doors so things i need with me land next to the keys so i see it#i leave hints for my brain that will make it go 'huh weird'#literally if id be scared to forget something id change my phone wallpaper or leave a open book on the counter#but it does not happen THAT often i am constantly reality checking anyway#i just like to be prepared
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Hi, just saying, DMs exist for a reason, and if you're going to shit on fics/writers on tumblr dot com where they could VERY easily see it, maybe just don't? Have a shred of empathy and just imagine what it might feel like if you came across someone talking about you and something you were proud of one day. And no, obviously I'm not talking about fics that are racist. I'm talking about ones that just aren't to your taste. Nobody's saying you have to like them. Nobody's saying you have to read them. Just don't be a fucking dick about them in public.
#emynn.op#may regret posting this in 30 seconds but I've had really weird kind of blindsided day at work and my patience is zero#this kind of behavior annoys me in general but I have even less tolerance for it post-cancellation#if you want to go off and bitch to your friends in DMs or in a server go at it#but doing it in a place where the writer can see it is fucking rude#and leads to people feeling more scared to post their own works#which is the last thing we need right now#literally just try being a decent person I promise it does wonders
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thoughts on recent utmv news? personally im distraught
I feel very sad for Jakei, to feel run off from doing something that she loves. And it’s very sad that everyone is so angry all the time. I don’t understand these people who put all their efforts into getting back at others, rather then, I dunno? Enjoying their time? It’s also wild that no one seems to believe in people changing, that they are different from their past. To them, Jakei from years past matters more than the person she is present day.
I also don’t think this is the “end of the fandom”. It’s not like Underverse is why the fandom exists, it’s just a part of the whole picture. To say it’s going to die means that you’re ignoring other creators that you love, the people with their own little aus and fanarts. You feel just as much joy from those don’t you?
A fandom will only die if you let it. Reblog the shit out of stuff!! Idc about how ur blog looks, that’s what tags are for! And create only from the joy of your heart!
#IM SORRY TO ALL MY OTHER ASKS I GET SCARED TO ANSWER#BUT I ALREADY HAD A FORMULATED THOUGHT ON THIS SUBJECT#I hope this dosent sound weird#and by weird I mean I just word things kinda funny#I didn’t know how to say the last part#I dunno I can only draw if it’s something that makes me yayXDhoorrayomgYAY and that’s how you should always feel when making something!#it’s just something that makes me very happy!#smoke break
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Woah Keefe is so emotionally manipulative. Not like he got raised in a horrible household where being emotionally abused was the norm. Not like half of his ‘insulting’ things were just bad attempts to make people laugh because in his mind that’s one of the only things he’s good at. Not like he probably cries thinking about all the times he hurt people without even meaning to. Not like he says things that come across as manipulative without him meaning it to because again, saying things like that are normal to him. Not like he would do anything for his friends. Not like most of his decisions, in his mind at least, were to benefit everyone else. Not like he would probably rather die than be like his father. Of course not, that’s ridiculous!
#it’s two am I have lots of feelings about Keefe eek#this is just me saying my thoughts!!#Please don’t argue with me I will cry#ALSO#this isn’t me saying you’re not allowed to like Keefe BECAUSE YOURE ALLOWED TO HAVE OPINIONS#I think it’s just weird how people try to hate on him for things like this#Like his traumatic childhood affected him?? That’s crazy!#Can you tell how scared I am for getting hated on lmao#Well ANYWAYS time for the normal tags#kotlc#lexi says stuff#keefe sencen#keefe#kotlc discourse#<- idk if that’s really appropriate?? Idk I’ve seen people talking about Keefe a lot and arguing and stuff so I think it works#kotlc keefe#keefe kotlc
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If zedaph is in the new life series I will learn how to make animatics you all can hold me to this
#tempting fate just for the lols#but um. a LOT of things line up in a weird way and it’s scaring me#I’ve been thinking about it literally all day you have no idea how much that would break me#astro speaks
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