#weird coke apparently

[doodlboy]

Gamer coke...bad

[sampilled]

thinking about the time i did ketamine and the guy who gave it to me made a point of showing me how he was using a £50 note to snort it and then i fell asleep on his couch while he played videos of orchestras on the tv

[psilactis]

just watched venom the last dance and am about to be INSSUFERABLE about it

[adverbally]

Face to Face in Secret Places

Written for the @steddiesmuttyseptember prompt “sneaking around” | wc: 1,576 | rated: E | cw: none | tags: set pre-S3, established relationship, in public (school library), fear of getting caught, exhibitionism (but no voyeurism), making out, dry humping, oral sex | title from “A View to Kill” by Duran Duran

———

“Ow, shit!”

“Shh, someone’s gonna hear you!” Steve hisses, covering Eddie’s mouth with his hand.

Eddie jerks his head away and whisper-shouts back, “Then stop hurting me!” The Hawkins High School library apparently has extra-sharp shelves, which Eddie knows because they’re digging into his back where Steve has him pushed into a corner in the reference section. “Plus nobody comes in here during class time and Mrs. Wright already left for her lunch break, like, five minutes ago. Who’s gonna hear?”

Steve rolls his eyes as he leans in for another kiss. Eddie accepts it happily, even if he still hasn’t fully come to terms with the fact that Steve Harrington is ditching class with him so they can make out in the library for the third time this month.

Once “King” Steve was dethroned last fall, Eddie found that Regular Steve wasn’t actually bad company. They got to talking after Tina’s Halloween party, where Steve got so shitfaced that Eddie had to physically peel him off the lawn before he could take him home. Their truce extended to their shared classes as the semester came to a close: Eddie proofread Steve’s essays for English, while Steve walked him through the problem sets for Algebra II. They hung out after school when they didn’t have basketball and Hellfire Club, growing closer by the day.

Steve had made a move first, leaning in for a kiss when Eddie dropped him off after a study session around Valentine’s Day. Now, in March, it was looking like Eddie might actually graduate on his second attempt, as long as Steve didn’t get them both kicked out for dry humping in the library.

Well. Actually, that doesn’t sound so bad right now, with Steve’s tongue hot in Eddie’s mouth and Steve’s thigh pressed between Eddie’s legs and the soft noises Steve’s making as Eddie sticks his hands in the back pockets of his jeans and squeezes.

“Eddie, I swear to god, if you make me come in these pants, I’m never touching you again,” Steve says, burying his fingers in Eddie’s hair like he’s hanging on for dear life.

He laughs in Steve’s ear. “As if you could keep your hands off me.” He licks over the moles just below Steve’s jawline to make him squirm.

“Eddie!”

“Shh,” Eddie teases.

Steve growls in frustration and pulls Eddie’s hair until his mouth is close enough for another kiss. He tastes like Eddie’s cinnamon gum and the can of Coke they had shared at lunch. When Steve slips a hand between them to grope Eddie’s cock through his jeans, Eddie’s head buzzes like carbonation is trapped in it.

“Jesus Christ,” he breathes against Steve’s lips.

“Mm-hmm.” The sound travels through Steve’s tongue to vibrate against Eddie’s teeth. It’s a weird feeling but a good one, too, one that has Eddie’s hips bucking up and the shelf behind him jabbing into his kidneys.

He grunts in pain. “Wait, wait one second.” When Steve pulls away, Eddie uses the leverage from his hands in Steve’s back pockets to spin them around, pushing Steve up against the shelves.

“Shit, those are sharp,” Steve says to himself.

Eddie doesn’t respond, too busy sinking to his knees on the ancient carpet and unfastening Steve’s jeans.

“Hold on, Mrs. Wright might be back any minute!”

“We probably have ten minutes, at least. And frankly, I don’t think it’s gonna take that long to get you off.” Eddie pointedly looks down at Steve’s cock tenting his boxers through the open fly of his pants. “So be quiet, keep a lookout, and let me suck your dick, okay?”

Steve’s eyes are wide, almost glowing in the harsh fluorescent lighting, but he doesn’t protest. He nods, brushes some of Eddie’s hair away from his face, and watches intently as Eddie takes the head of his cock into his mouth.

It’s not the first time Eddie has done this with Steve, but it is the first time they’re doing it in public (Eddie’s van doesn’t count as public, does it?). It’s a little thrilling, the idea that anyone could come in here and see Eddie on his knees with Steve Harrington’s cock down his throat. It makes Eddie want to show off.

When Eddie pulls back to lick into his slit, Steve lets out a shuddering moan, hunching over and scrunching a fist in Eddie’s hair like he’s in pain.

“Are you—?” Eddie starts to ask, but Steve quickly cuts him off.

“Don’t stop.”

It’s punctuated by a whine when Eddie does it again, lapping Steve’s precome straight from the source. It tastes even better with Steve trying to muffle his cries with the back of his hand, with him staring down at Eddie like he’s something out of a dream. Eddie looks back at him while he mouths at his tip, flushed bright pink with the need to come.

“Eddie, please, I’m close,” Steve begs in a strained whisper.

He squeezes Steve’s hips in encouragement, then he sinks down as far as he can around his cock. Eddie’s not, like, a professional at this yet, so he can’t deepthroat him or anything, but he takes Steve’s dick deep enough to nudge at the back of his throat without making him gag. He bobs his head slowly, relishing the drag and the wet noises and Steve’s unblinking eyes full of awe and desire.

Steve’s hand tightens in Eddie’s hair. He whispers his name like a prayer, “Eddie. Eddie, Eddie—” He goes quiet when he comes, throwing his head back and staring at the dirty ceiling tiles with his mouth wide open.

Eddie holds Steve’s twitching hips in place against the shelf as he swallows him down. It goes better than his past attempts, with much less choking and spluttering involved, but he still has a little come dribbling down his chin when he gets to his feet.

To his surprise, once they’re standing eye-to-eye again, Steve leans in and licks his own jizz off Eddie’s face before pushing it back into Eddie’s mouth in a filthy kiss. It’s probably the dirtiest, sexiest thing Eddie has ever experienced, and it’s happening in the school library. Incredible.

Steve pulls away, still breathing heavily, to ask, “Did you come?”

Eddie grinds his still-hard cock against Steve’s hipbone. “Not yet,” he responds, a little pointedly. “But unlike you, I don’t care if I come in my pants.”

“Great, that’s great,” Steve babbles, already going in for another kiss and propping his foot on the lowest bookshelf so his thigh is in a better position for Eddie to ride. His leg fits between Eddie’s like it was made for him, the thick muscle surrounded by soft-worn denim providing the perfect amount of friction when Eddie’s hips start to rock.

Steve cradles his face and kisses him with a gentleness that’s at odds with the frantic rutting of Eddie’s hips. They haven’t had a big discussion about their feelings yet but it’s almost like they don’t have to, not when Eddie can feel Steve’s care and affection in every touch. He tries to kiss Steve back with the same intensity, like Eddie can telepathically project how much he likes him with his mouth.

It’s not long before Eddie’s rhythm starts to falter. Steve whispers, “C’mon, baby, come for me,” and Eddie is helpless to resist when Steve’s looking at him with his eyes like liquid honey and his lips shiny with Eddie’s spit.

He buries his groan in the crook of Steve’s neck, biting at the skin just below the collar of his shirt, while his cock spills in his boxers. Steve cradles Eddie’s head against his shoulder and gently runs his fingers through Eddie’s hair while he catches his breath.

Once his heart rate settles, Eddie jokes, “Maybe I should’ve cared a little more about coming in my pants.” He’s sticky and damp enough that he’ll probably skip the rest of his classes for the day so he can go home and change.

Steve tucks himself back into his pants with a smug look. “I tried to share my wisdom and you rejected it. Now you’ll pay the price.”

“Are you going back to class?” Eddie asks. He hopes Steve picks up the underlying invitation to ditch with Eddie.

He tilts his head with a grin. “Geez, you’re clingy,” he teases. “If you don’t want to be without me for the rest of the day, just say so.”

“Mm, how about every day?” Eddie pecks him on the lips.

“I think I could make that work,” Steve says, looping his arms around Eddie’s neck for a final, lingering kiss before they sneak out of the building. “Your car or mine?”

Wayne is home and Steve’s parents are out of town, so it’s a no-brainer for both of them. ”I’ll drive us to your house?” Eddie suggests.

“It’s a date.” Steve smacks his ass as he turns to go out the side door, making Eddie jump. “You better get going if you don’t want to get caught in the hallway between classes.”

“Meet you out there.”

Five minutes later, they’re giggling together in Eddie’s van, giddy with the feeling of getting away with something and being alone together and tangling their fingers together on the gear shift. Eddie can’t stop turning to look at Steve’s face, scrunched up with a smile, and thinking about how much he wants to have this every day for the rest of his life.

[miaoua3]

I Know You…Or Do I?

Pairing: vernon x gn!reader

Genre: fluffiest fluff to ever fluff, a little bit of comedy, first kiss scenario, childhood best friends to lovers (finally)

Synopsis: vernon decides to give you a heart attack and kiss you for the first time.

Note: i always thought that vernon would be such a friends to lovers guy and 2 minus 1 solidified that so here i present to you how i think a first kiss with this guy would go, enjoy!

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

it is clear to anybody who has known vernon for longer than one minute that he’s a bit…on a peculiar side. that wasn’t an insult, but rather a truth acknowledged by a wider audience.

you, of course, knew what was an usual and an unusual behaviour coming from him. this skill didn’t come up all that easily to you, but rather from knowing him since you were but an infant. you both had your mothers to thank for that, considering that their own history goes years beyond your births.

knowing someone for that long of a period is certainly admirable. you’ve always looked up to your mom’s and auntie melody’s friendship, ever since you were a child.

but now, you are an adult yourself, with your own decades long friendship.

you could confidently say that you knew vernon better than the back of your hand. so, as already mentioned, you know what’s usual and unusual for him, even though everything about him is a bit unusual.

for example, for usual behaviours we have his weird thoughts that he would message you at 2am, his weird food combos and his weird way of texting that nobody really gets except you and sofia, his angel sister that you love (sometimes more than him), to name a few.

for unusual behaviours we have the fidgeting when he’s nervous, getting unusually quiet (i mean, sure, he’s more on the quieter side as it is but…there’s just certain times when his quiet is just…off, yknow), trying to hide himself behind you in uncomfortable situations and not answering your messages for longer than 15 minutes.

oh, and kissing you out of the nowhere in your kitchen for the very first time to thank you for getting him his favourite snacks, apparently.

you’re not very sure if this has really happened or if you maybe accidentally did coke and this is just a weird hallucination as a side effect, but it got you so shocked to you just stood there, in your kitchen, with his favourite cookies in hand that you started to unpack and put on a plate before he waltzed in.

see, the reason why this is a really big problem and why it got your heart beating faster than a a racing car is because you have had the biggest crush on your best friend since you were 13. and you did such a good job at hiding your feelings and acting normal around him, even when you wanted nothing more to kiss those plush and soft lips of his.

and now it will all go to waste because how do you go back from this? how do you go back to being his friend now that you know how his lips taste, how soft they are and how much it makes your heart race?

see, you were always under the impression that, other than your friendship, vernon wanted nothing more from you. it seemed like he was perfectly okay with just having you as his platonic partner in crime.

or apparently f*cking not.

after another few second, you quickly finish platting the cookies and go back to the living room, where he’s sat, watching the movie he picked, without a care in the world.

you sit a respectful distance away from him, just watching him watch the movie, apparently feeling perfectly fine.

if only you knew.

with what must sound like the tone of a dead person, you more-so inform him “you’ve kissed me.”

the beautiful bastard has the audacity to not even turn his head in your direction, he just answers “i did”.

pondering over all the possible reasons as to why he did it, you gulp, and with all the courage left in your body, you hopefully ask him “do you like me?”

his answer makes you want to punch him…with your lips against his own, either very aggressively or very gently.

snorting, he answers “have for the last 10 years, thanks for finally noticing.”

you don’t give him any time to prepare or to see it coming for that matter-as soon as the last word leaves his mouth, you are pouncing on him, arms going around his neck, lips colliding with his, clumsily, at first, until you find your balance and climb on his lap.

it is clear that he both didn’t expect you to pounce on him like a wild animal and that he has been waiting for this moment for a very long time.

because as soon as your knees are on both sides of his hips, he’s wrapping his arms around your waist, pulling you as close as the universe will allow him to and kissing you back like a starved man, like he’s dying and you’re the only antidote that could save him.

your hands finally-finally-sink into his silky soft brown hair, scratching his scalp to see how he would react.

and his reaction doesn’t disappoint-he immediately groans in your mouth, his hands starting to wonder themselves, squeezing your thighs before they travel over your butt, over your back all the way to the nape of your neck, pulling your head closer to his so he can deepen the kiss.

your own arms tighten around his neck, your bodies so close that there isn’t a single part of your body that isn’t touching his. your thoughts are both running and are nonexistent. thinking “finally, this is all i’ve ever wanted to know-the taste of his lips and the strength of his love”, but at the same time, your mind is nowhere to be found, it’s probably floating somewhere between the cotton candy soft clouds.

after many minutes, your kiss turns from hungry and rushed to intimate, soft and tender, until it eventually comes to a stop, your noses still touching, foreheads leaning on each other.

in what must be the softest whisper you ever heard him speak in, vernon says “took you long enough”.

you lightly pinch his cheek and smile “could say the same thing to you. been waiting since we were 13 for you to finally get your head out of your ass and kiss me.”

his heavy eyes fall on your mouth, inviting him to get himself lost in them again “well, the good thing is that now that i finally did, i don’t plan on ever stopping”.

and he never did.

as it turns out, you didn’t know him as well as you thought you did-there were still some things you had yet to find out about him. luckily, his kiss was officially off that list.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••

(somewhere, not that far away, your mom gives auntie melody 10$ for losing their bet that they had going since you and vernon were both 10.)

[rosepinks-world]

FUCK IT I LOVE YOU, I REALLY DO (cherry waves pt2)

summary: wade helps you patch things up with Logan via a party.

taglist: @justaleksss @fallout-girl219 @fandomsunited @midnights-afternoons

It had been at least a week since you’d last seen Logan.

You hated to say it but you’d been a wreck. The whole point of casual sex was that you wouldn’t get your heart broken and yet here you were with your heart broken. The fact you felt this way made you realise that you felt the same way about Logan. I mean if you were that bothered about not seeing him that had to mean something.

One weekend you were in a blanket cocoon on the sofa binge watching some shit reality tv when you heard a knock on your door.

Logan.

He was all that came to mind as you fixed your hair and outfit slightly. You excitedly whipped the door open to reveal:

“Oh. Hi Wade.” You said your smile leaving your face.

“Well fuck you!” He said inviting himself in dropping some flowers onto your counter. “I was chased by an old lady for picking those from her front garden so you better put them in the best vase you own.”

You laughed but returned to being a bit miserable.

“What are you doing here Wade?”

“I’m throwing a little get together and you’re invited! How fun is that?”

Really he came all this way to invite you to a party?

“Wade you have my number why didn’t you just text me.”

“Okay you’re really missing the point.”

You furrowed your eyebrows.

“Logan is doing my fucking head in.” He complained emphasising the ‘ing’. “He keeps moping around the apartment like he’s been told he can’t jerk off for the rest of his life and it’s got to stop.”

You rolled your eyes, “Wade he’s a prick I don’t want anything to do with him.”

He tilted his head pulling out a stool and sat at the counter.

“Okay you had argument apparently but I need more, tell daddy the drama.”

You cringed at the nickname. “Never say that again.”

“Noted. Now carry on!”

You huffed slightly annoyed and embarrassed about explaining what Logan had said to you.

“We were gonna have sex like usual. He ate me out…”

“Yum.” Wade said interrupting.

You gave him a look and he quickly apologised holding his hands to his mouth.

“When I … finished I hit my head on the bed it was funny so I started laughing and then straight after he… finished in his pants from just that. He got up to the balcony smoked a cigar told me we shouldn’t fuck anymore, went to leave with no explanation, then told me that we shouldn’t because he’s falling in love with me and it’s the last thing any of us needs.”

Wade for the first time in forever was speechless.

“So yeah forgive me for not really caring about his moping.”

Wade shook his head laughing, “Never would’ve guessed that Wolvie was the Boston cream his pants type of guy.”

You threw the flowers at him. “That’s not the point Wade!”

“Woah! What’s the point then?”

“He made me feel like I’m unloveable!”

You sighed and continued explaining your point.

“I would’ve accepted him worrying about catching feelings but he said it’s the last thing any of us needed. Am I that bad?”

Wade gave you a sympathetic look as he placed a hand on your shoulder. He thought for a moment thinking of the right thing to say when he gasped.

“Ohhh! I know what his problem is.”

You perked up, “What is it?”

He shook his head no. “I think it’s better if you work it out yourself.”

You threw your arms out aggressively. “What the fuck Wade?”

“Y/n. You’re an incredible, funny, kind hearted person with an amazing ass! Of course Logan fell for you. How could he not? He’s a really sexy but really complicated guy which is why, like I said you should be getting your answers from him.”

You didn’t say anything and Wade sighed.

“Look come to our apartment tonight. Wear something slutty and go get your man. Just warn me if you’re gonna fuck because I really, really, really want to listen.”

You smiled at Wades weird way of comforting you. “I’ll think about it.”

Wade nodded looking at his watch, “Well I’ve got to go and pick up Als coke. See ya y/n”

You decided to take Wades advice.

It was ten pm. Loud music thumped through the door as you stood outside Wade and Logan’s shared apartment. You had a ‘slutty’ dress on and you’d done your makeup to the way you liked it. You went to knock on the door when you stopped just infront of it. What the fuck were you doing?

You went to walk away when the door swung open as if Wade could sense you.

“Y/ns here!” He screamed to the large collection of people as they cheered. He pulled you through the room whispering about how he was proud of you and something about how your ass looked great.

As Wade got distracted your eyes landed on a familiar brown leather jacket. You smiled slightly, you couldn’t help it but it quickly faded when he moved to the side slightly to reveal a woman. She had opposite features to you and she stood in front of him giggling and touching his arms and face. She then leaned up to kiss him and you quickly turned away.

You were angry.

Furious to be exact. You weren’t official but he obviously didn’t fall for you that hard if he was kissing another girl. You snatched a drink from Colossus’ hand downing it as you went to find more.

You were pretty far gone. Not on the verge of blackout (yet at least) but the type of drunk that would explain what you were doing right now. You were on top of a table with a crowd around you as you threw your hips around to the song playing. The cheers from the crowd encouraging you to carry on dancing and to go even further.

You felt yourself reaching to the strap of your dress pulling it sultrily down your arm the top of your bra showing. The cheers only got louder distracting you from the random guy who leaned very close to the table. He placed his hands on the top of your legs grabbing your thighs. He reached his hands around and harshly smacked your ass. The flashing lights around you combined with the thumping bass and cheers were disorientating. You barely saw as the guy who’d grabbed you was harshly shoved away a voice bellowing out,

“Get the fuck out of here! What sort of people did you invite here Wade?”

You squinted to try and make out what was going on when your legs were swept off the table. You were hoisted over the man’s shoulder the front of your body draped over his back your ass extremely close to his face. You got worried for a second wondering who the hell was picking you up and whether the intentions were right until he spoke.

“What the fuck are you doing y/n?”

Logan.

The happiness of seeing him quickly wore off. God who does he think he is getting mad at you? You returned to being angry.

“Why do you care? I’m not yours to worry about anyway.”

He let out a sigh and kicked the door to what you now realised was his bedroom. You’d been there so many times that the fact you could barely walk in a straight line didn’t stop you from recognising it. He put you down on the bed gently as he went to remove your shoes.

If you had been sober you would’ve shrugged him off to show that you didn’t need him but all independence went out of your mind the minute he’d picked you up. If you had been sober you also wouldn’t make yourself seem so jealous but words left your lips quicker than you could think.

“Who was the girl you were with?” You asked as you kicked off your now undone shoe.

He looked genuinely confused. “What girl?”

You threw your head back on the bed annoyed.

“The girl that was rubbing up against you and kissed you.”

He smirked slightly, he couldn’t help but like the fact you were jealous.“Never seen her in my life. She came onto me, tried to kiss me I declined. She was pretty fucked up I think she got into Als coke so I called her a cab.”

Always a gentleman.

You rolled your eyes as he went to take off your other shoe. “Why are you so nice?” You huffed.

He smiled at the compliment. “Nice? I don’t think that’s me bub.”

You shook your head rather erratic due to the state you were in. “Nope! You are nice you just don’t let other people see it.” He smiled at your compliment.“Well you were nice until you made me feel like shit.”

He frowned guiltily as he helped you up to the pillows on the bed and placed the duvet over you. Logan stood back up and turned towards the door.

“You gonna leave me again?” You asked disappointed. God sober you would be so angry.

He shook his head. “I shouldn’t be here with you when you’re like this. It’s not right.”

You laughed hiccuping as you did “You’ve literally been inside me multiple times and this is where you draw the line? We’re not fucking! Just lay with me.”

He looked skeptical until you tilted your head your eyes shining brightly as you grabbed his arm. “Please?”

How could he say no to you when you looked like that? He cleared his throat and sat next to you on the bed. “You want anything?”

“Yeah. I want you.” You replied not looking at him, eyes fluttering open and closed. You were exhausted.

He shook his head. “Bub, no you don’t.”

You tiredly laughed in disbelief. “What do you mean? I really want this to happen you’re the one that said falling in love with me is the last thing any of us need? Am I that unlovable?”

You wanted him? You were drunk but they do say drunk words are sober thoughts. He wanted to tell you how he felt but there was no damn way you’d remember any of it the next morning. “I’m not answering you when you’re drunk I want you to remember what I say.”

His answer lingered in the air with no reply. He thought you had given him the silent treatment but then he heard soft snores coming from you. He laughed a little.

“And that’s why.” He whispered pushing your hair out of your face.

He sat on the bed next to you the whole night. He didn’t even bother sleeping, too worried about what he was going to say to you when you woke up. The only time he left was to prepare you aspirin, water and some food he knew you liked.

You turned over eyes opening as you moaned clutching your head. Logan gestured to the items he gathered earlier and you fixed yourself up. As you downed the glass of water he spoke up.

“You remember what we were talking about last night?”

He didn’t even bother beating around the bush. You paused gathering your memories it didn’t take you long and you felt like your brain had caught you up to speed. You started to remember all the things you had said and did and groaned head in hands.

“…Yeah.”

He pulled his lips into a straight line.

“Right well, I’m really not good with things like this but I’m sorry for making you feel like shit.”

You kept a straight face wanting to see where this was going but you were grateful for the apology.

“Y/n… you were the one that wanted a casual relationship. For me it was great because I didn’t have to worry about hurting anyone or getting hurt but I fell for you. How could I not?”

Your eyes widened. Logan was renowned for being unemotional so you couldn’t believe he was saying these things. You were also flattered you thought you had flaw after flaw but to Logan you were perfect.

“You didn’t want anyone to love you because you didn’t want to get hurt. I’m a terrible person. The worst version of Logan. And I got scared because I don’t want to hurt you. I also really don’t want to lose you.”

You shook your head ‘no’ at his self depreciation. He felt at ease knowing that you disagreed but he continued, “And I’m an asshole for making you feel unloveable because god y/n how could anyone not fall in love with you?”

Wow. For the first time ever Wade got something right. You smiled at him swinging your legs over his body so you were straddling him against the headboard. You leaned forward studying his face whilst the pads of your thumbs gently rubbed his rough skin.

“Logan you’re worried about hurting me but you’re the first person I’ve met that’s made me feel the safest. And I’m not going anywhere- unless you kill me or something.”

He laughed at your joke. Another reason he adored you. He leaned into the touch of your hands.“So, fuck it Lo, I love you too.”

He grabbed your face with urgency as he kissed you. You couldn’t help but smile into the kiss. God you two were so stupid. Why didn’t you just tell each-other this ages ago? You went to tell Logan what you were thinking when a bang on the wall pulled the two of you away from each other.

“Guys! That was so much better than listening to you fuck!” Wade yelled through the very thin walls of your apartment.

“Have you been listening this whole time prick?” Logan shouted back.

The two of you were met with a silence that strongly suggested that the answer was yes. You laughed leaning your head onto Logan’s shoulder.

“I’ll kill him.” He announced pointing to the wall. Logan was half joking but you could tell he was a little embarrassed. To open up to you clearly made him feel very vulnerable, it was understandable he didn’t want Wade to see that side of him. You tried to make him feel better by playing with the tufts of his hair. “Kill him later. Just stay here for a little longer.”

He nodded obeying you as he drew random patterns on your back. He felt like the luckiest guy in the world. You who looked beyond beautiful at six am in the morning, you who brought light to his life and you who loved him no matter his flaws.

He really did love you and you loved him. Feeling slightly giddy he reached for his cigars and lighter with you still buried into his shoulder.

“Baby..” you started pulling away from his shoulder.

He paused a cigar hanging from his lips. “Yeah?”

“Do I look like a clown?” You asked referring to your messy makeup that hadn’t been removed from last night.

“Yeah. Sexiest clown at the circus.” You cackled hitting his chest jokingly. He went back to his cigar when you started speaking again.

“Also.”

He quirked a brow up pausing in lighting his cigar bringing it away from his mouth. You leaned forward seductively inches away from his lips and paused.

“Don’t even think about smoking one of those fucking things in here.” You ordered smirking as you plucked the cigar from his lips placing it back on the table.

He rolled his eyes chucking the lighter next to the cigar saving it for later. He acted like he wasn’t but really he was happy. Now, he could put your hatred to cigars to a happier memory. He cupped your face. “That’s my girl.”

[altruistic-meme]

i already know im going to regret having gotten my latte given that it is almost 5pm and also it hurt my stomach, but i want the ROUTINE goddamnit

i love my sister she's forcing my ass to go to the cafe

[nico-di-genova]

I have more Rossi lore :)

Lost to James at a cornhole game one time, and proceeded to order professional cornhole gear with the correct dimensions and everything so he could practice properly, and thus ensure he would remain the number one victor at all times for the rest of time. Joked about going pro, but I don’t think it was fully a joke tbh, he probably fully thinks he could.

Was once denied entry to a steakhouse in Detroit, despite the fact he had reservations. Says he “pulled up in an Audi (weird flex but okay) in dark wash jeans and a sweater” and was told he couldn’t come in because he didn’t have a collared shirt. Later, three of his friends sent him photos eating at this same steakhouse. They were t-shirts and sneakers.

Alex “loves to sleep in” according to James. Didn’t want to wake up early to care for his plants so he spent a (assumedly substantial) undisclosed amount of money on an electric controller that takes care of his plants and comes on at 5:30 in the morning. You will not catch him missing out on his beauty sleep apparently.

Doesn’t like when people are bubbly and talkative at restaurants, hostesses and waiters specifically. Being social stresses him out, he doesn’t like it, don’t try to talk to James about ketchup while Alex is trying to order a Diet Coke, he will become annoyed and stressed because he “waited his turn” to speak and things aren’t going right. Clearly he prescribes to rigid social cues and structures and is thus annoyed when these are not followed. Don’t piss him off, don’t be nice apparently, this is a serious problem for him. (He’s so real for this tbh. I too become stressed annoyed and overwhelmed when waiters are overly talkative and I no longer have an established script to follow. Not their fault to be clear, I just don’t know how to process that.)

Went nonverbal once at the start of a podcast episode and was asked by James “is this a no talking day”. Alex was too involved in eating his gold fish to give more than one word answers. (Also relatable.)

Also, this whole interaction between him and Tim:

Tim: I’m over at Alex’s and he’s struggling to open this one package. He stops in the middle of opening the box, and he just looks out the window and goes, “I need to trim my roses”. And then he just- he returns to the- he gets the box open and then doesn’t even take time to put shoes on, goes out in his socks and trims his roses. Like, we were in the middle of a conversation…

Alex: the reason why- I was using my rose scissors to open the package, so it reminded me.

He’s too relatable I fear. Antisocial, frequently nonverbal, easily sidetracked king.

[maple-tree-hills]

Percy Jackson AU where instead of Poseidon being absent in Percy’s life, he helps raise him. But Percy doesn’t know his dad is Poseidon. He thinks Peter Johnson is a marine biologist and a fisherman who is frequently on long business trips for his job. Maybe Sally and Poseidon are divorced, and she marries Smelly Gabe or maybe they’re still together, who knows.

Just, instead of Percy being in anger at the gods for neglecting their children he’s in disbelief that his very normal father is Poseidon. They go on fishing trips together all the time and he dresses like a tacky Hawaiian tourist. Not a god. He refuses to believe this despite Grover being a satyr, and Mr. Brunner being a centaur.

I’m not sure if Percy should know all of the gods or not. Maybe he knows Mr. D already as Cousin Dexter. Cousin Dexter has shown up a couple of times in his life. He’s a devil for the drink and a known alcoholic, so why is he at this weird camp playing cards with Grover and Mr. Brunner? And they start talking about the gods and demigods again. And Mr. D calls him ‘mortal.’ And Percy’s like yeah, no Cousin Dexter has had a bit too much to drink despite the fact that he can’t smell any alcohol on him, and he’s only been drinking Diet Coke. Percy switches subjects as to why Mr. D isn’t drinking any alcohol. Apparently, his father won’t let him drink alcohol anymore and is forcing him to work at this summer camp. Percy is happy to hear this because at least someone isn’t having Cousin Dexter’s shit anymore.

Then they switch gears back into the conversion about gods existing and he’s sure Grover, or Mr. Brunner, or Mr. D will say sike, but none of them do. They all seriously believe in the gods. Well Percy is stubborn and won’t be convinced this easily.

And then he finds out that Hades stole the master bolt and has his mother, and he’s like uncle Hector? Uncle Hector is a god of the underworld? And he has my mother and stole Zeus’s lightning bolt? No way. Uncle Hector lives in LA and works at a music producing studio. He is not the god of the underworld. He is not Hades, this is insane and Percy does not appreciate being punked. He’ll admit some supernatural stuff is real because a minatur killed his mom, but being a demigod no way.

And they keep telling Percy about the family drama and he’s still in disbelief. All he knows about uncle Zane is that his father is not on good terms with him. There’s no way uncle Zane who his father HATES, who works in the Empire State Building is Zeus. There’s just no way.

And then he finds out about the Big Three and forbidden children thing. And he goes ‘That can’t be true uncle Hector has two kids: cousin Bianca and cousin Nico.’ And he just accidentally spoils to everyone that Hades has not kept his end of the pact about fathering more mortal children.

And then they’re on the road going through quests fighting against Alecto again, Echidna, and Medusa and Percy still can’t believe the gods are real.

It isn’t until he gets to the underworld that he starts believing. There seated on a dark throne surrounded by skeletons is Uncle Hector? Uncle Hector is actually Hades? He’s freaking out he’s never seen his uncle this way before. He’s terrifying and keeps demanding this Helm of Darkness thing in exchange for his mother. Where’s Nico he wants to hang out with his cousin?

And maybe Percy sasses him because what the heck uncle Hector sending furies after your nephew and holding your sister-in-law hostage and accusing your nephew of theft is not cool. And things for the most part will proceed like they do in the book for the most part. I could see Hades when he’s pretending to be a human behaving similarly to Jay Duplass’s portrayal of him in the TV show. Just a comical uncle who is most certainly not lord of the underworld.

(I’ve only seen the TV and I’ve almost finished the first book so far, but I do know Hades has two kids named Bianca and Nico)

[tkingfisher]

The exact variety of my neurospiciness is undetermined, but I’ve found that with enough enthusiastic questioning, many people will absolutely infodump about something. Usually somewhat nervously at first, as if they are doing something illicit, but if you ask questions that show you’re interested and paying attention, they will go.

I did this a lot on book tours and convention appearances, when you get lots of teachers and librarians or some nice person driving you from point A to point B, and I think they expect you to talk about yourself or something? But damn, I’ve probably been talking about me for days at that point, I know me, I am not interested in more me! Tell me about your job or your hobbies or the local drama where you live!

There was a woman who told me all about the problems of displaying old fabrics in museum collections, the doctor who dealt with a syphilis outbreak in a nursing home, the school principal with a neighborhood infestation of feral peacocks, the vet who was absolutely done with the paint horse people, and my personal favorite, the guy who was a former Coke spy.

(Apparently back in the day, Coke was very concerned that the soda being served as Coke at various restaurants actually be Coke, and furthermore that it be purchased from the licensed vendor of their cola syrups from that area. Buying syrup from someone else out of the area was a legal issue, I guess, but also you had lots of franchise owners who would try to buy a cheap knockoff soda syrup and pass it off as Coke? So this guy’s job for years was to travel, go into restaurants, and order a Coke. Then he’d scoop some into a vial when the waitstaff wasn’t looking and send it off to an actual lab to see if it was the real thing. There was a lot of syrup being imported from Mexico, and this was a big legal deal before NAFTA, I guess? Anyway he said the worst offenders were Howard Johnson’s.)

I suspect I left a trail of somewhat confused people behind me going “She seemed pleasant enough but then I mentioned the feral peacocks on the playground and she grilled me for ten minutes?”

The only place this absolutely failed me was in L.A. I had multiple people who just started name-dropping and if I’d ask what was cool or interesting about their job, they’d name-drop harder. My agent sighed heavily when told this and said that yeah, that’s just a Hollywood thing, you’re only as interesting as who you know. It was extremely weird and awkward and probably as frustrating for them as it was for me.

(Years later I learned that my publicist had literally put into the little fact sheet for book tours that I was terrible at small talk and please not to take offense, which may explain why a couple of media escorts treated me like an unexplored bomb at first.)

[beth-purcell]

Finding Frankie Ficlet: First Impressions Made

A little fic where the Contestant gets to meet the IT Guy and impressions are definitely made

Swearing from the Cartoon, and technically set after the events of the game.

Enjoy!

“Oh! IT Guy!” The contestant turned to see, surprisingly, a human in the place’s work uniform, large coke bottle glasses obscuring most of their face, as they adjusted the stack of papers. “Why are you here?”

“Oh cool, all of you are here, makes it easy,” The contestant looked at the Frankies, curiosity not so obvious because of the stupid mask. “Marketing wants to touch base about how we’re doing next season. We ended up finding old archival footage and turns out that early days there was a thing…”

“A thing?” The Cartoon snarked.

“Yeah, apparently the mask thing was always a thing, but apparently the ones that completed the course and won….didn’t wear it the following season.”

“What?” Those in the real world looked up at the monitor that contained the cartoon rabbit. The rabbit frowned.

“You’ve got to be shitting me.” The IT person didn’t seem phased as the rabbit pulled up the data, and an old clip began to play on another monitor. “I was the one to bring up the mask idea-” The contestant looked and saw kids in rabbit masks get ready, the ‘Real’ Frankie in a visible booth about to start the race, though at the top of one of the hills there was another contestant, stretching and bouncing from leg to leg. There wasn’t audio, but it was clear that this was supposed to someone important as the camera panned to them and with a dramatic flourish, the contestant threw off their mask, the transition also showing off a variant of the costume that had more shiny elements. “What the absolute-” Cartoon Frankie started swearing up and down, beeps littering his audio as he cursed everything and anything.

“From what they were able to find,” The IT person explained, the real rabbit and the contestant turning to look. “The idea was that the previous season’s winner would act as both an obstacle and as a contestant as well; if the new contestants were able to beat the previous winner, they were able to gain a free pass.”

“Free pass?” The real rabbit asked slowly.

“Basically a get out of jail card; fail a challenge, and you could move on to the next section. Barring the last challenge of course; there you just reset,”

“Huh…that would be an interesting incentive…and it would make sense that didn’t last particularly long after the shake up,”

“Yeah, the details aren’t super clear outside ‘no mask’ and ‘if they catch the winner, free pass from a challenge’.” The IT person turned to the contestant. “Hence why Marketing wants to know how you wanna do this; you are the first winner in a long while and I need to make sure that regardless what the expectation is, the chat doesn’t get….weird.” There was a pause as they set the stack of papers on the desk by the control panel. “Weirder than usual.”

“How could they get weirder?” The cartoon snapped irritably. Without missing a beat, the IT person retorted.

“You want to see the smut I’ve had to pull?” The contestant barely managed to catch their horrified and slightly panicked laugh as the real rabbit nervously rubbed the back of his head. “The shipper sent a new one this morning.” Real Frankie’s eyes went wide.

“A new one!? Didn’t they get banned for last time?”

“Last…Time?” The contestant asked slowly, and the IT person turned to them with a small smirk.

“The Boss didn’t think we needed to vet the donations for the text to speech, and then we all got to hear about the various skill sets that apparently he and-”

“GET THE FUCK OUT!” Cartoon Frank snapped, blush marks on his face, pointing angrily towards the door. “We’ll figure it out later! Just go and make sure the shit works for when Lucky practices!” The IT guy raised their hands slightly, in mock surrender.

“Alright, alright, I’ll pass it along. I’m going,” They said, turning to leave, offering a playful wink towards the contestant. “You know where to find me, if you need me.” The person waltzed off, the cartoon rabbit giving some colorful choice in commentary. The contestant looked at the real rabbit, who understandably between a rock and a hard place.

“Uh, I’ll just give go and see if the deputy needs his tablet recharged,” The contestant offered, earning a grateful look from the real rabbit and a deadpan look from the cartoon.

“Sounds like a plan…we’ll catch up in a bit…”

[3n1gm4blogs]

Texture issue? I totally get it, don’t even get me started on pineapple!

how's the date with riddler going?

Horrible. I had to cut the experiments short because I can't stand the child currently running around. Then I had to comfort Jervis and kick out a hatter Edward.

and now I need to prepare fucking stake. I hate making stake.

[ @3n1gm4blogs ]

[cicenice]

I REQUEST YOUR BEST SILLY HEADCANONS ABOUT YOUR FAVORITE CHARACTER!!

((Bonus points if you make me laugh, good luck :3 ))

right now im in my lietuva era so let's do this. hrmngh.. some of these are for humanverse shit but others are just general.

1. He has IBS. Sad!

2. Is pretty tall, but slouches. So he's definitely 182-185 but comes across as ~175.

3. He's one of those people who says he doesn't have a type, but actually has a cartoonishly stupid type. (Blondes)

4. In Lithuanian, the diminutive “-elis” is added to express endearment. In Latvian, “-elis” is actually kinda pejorative. So Tolys refers to Raivis as “Raivelis” and it's ambiguous whether it's meant to be a cute nickname or mildly insulting.

5. I think he's capable of murder and I think he's got a nasty temper in general! It's fun to imagine him as perpetually gloomy/grumpy/stressed/world-weary. Makes it more satisfying when you actually get him excited about something.

6. Has sanpaku eyes. Apparently, having these eyes means you're cursed with bad luck or will meet an unfortunate fate.

7. His Body Wants to Return to The Forest. I think if he were to live alone, he'd definitely be living in a cabin in the woods.

8. For someone who puts little effort into his appearance, his hair's pretty nice.

9. I imagine him and Feliks becoming friends thru the shared connection of being the weird kids at Catholic school fjsjfkghh. Cute

10. Apparently, in some parts of Lithuania, the Fly Agaric mushroom was soaked in vodka and enjoyed at weddings? I know from people in my circle that it's possible to eat them, but it makes you hallucinate like crazy. When I tried to find more info, a bunch of Lithuanian sites selling fly agaric mushroom caps came up…so maybe Tolys doesn't snort coke or anything but he definitely goes shrooming and…imbibes.

Enjoy gkdnfmgngh spent way too much time on this because i want him

[writing-whump]

Hitting the limit part 2

You guys were apparently missing an ending of the previous fic, lol. Lots of aggressive cuddling and fluff with Matt, Isaiah and Sel.

Matt had never been so tired in his life.

While he opted to walk back from the campus instead of running as a sort of break, it wasn't cutting it. His bones seemed to have been magnetized to the ground, dragging him down. His eyelids were heavy, his thoughts were a jumble, and to sweeten the bitter deal, he now had a nauseous sticky feeling at the back of his throat. He could swear he could feel his flesh rub against his bones in pain.

Yeah, he was so done.

Just the last series of steps and he made it upstairs. Fulfilled his routine, everything was fine.

Matthew knew Isaiah and Seline were worried about him. He also knew that he had withdrawn from them - the idea of Isaiah apologizing to him for offering the apartment for Rip to heal or Seline feeling guilty for helping out her brother was disgusting to him - and he was incredibly grateful they respected this.

He wasn't sure they would, Isaiah could be pretty forceful, when he had a goal and Seline was fussy, once she got convinced something was wrong...

But they did.

So it wasn't weird, when he reached the apartment, shook off his shoes and the first thing he headed to, was the bathroom. He meant to just splash his face with some water to wake himself up, but instead ended up gagging over the sink.

Totally out of control heaving had him spitting up a mouthful of the coke Hector forced him to drink. He braced himself against the sink. It was wonderfully cool against his overheated skin. Sweat was dripping from his face like he just got out of a shower. Christ, okay. Okay.

He had to try two times to hit the light switch, forcing himself few more steps.

Seline was reading on the sofa in the living room. It was her thing, when she kinda wanted to socialize, but didn't want to feel awkward. When she really wanted to work, write or concentrate, she stayed in her room. On the couch, she was basically in the center of the apartment, right under the stairs, on the crossroads between the kitchen, the entry hall and the bedroom Matt and Isaiah shared.

It was an offer. Quiet but obvious.

Matthew hauled himself over to the couch, collapsing face-first into the pillow next to her tight. He let out a muffled groan to announce his presence.

"Hey, Mattie. That was one hell of a run, huh? Must be a new record." She still held her book in her lap, but one of her hands went into his hair. "You are so sweaty," she said with a grimace he could hear all over her voice.

Matthew hummed noncommittally. He wanted her to talk, but had nothing to say.

Her fingers carded through his hair, from the top all the way to his neck. Gently, like she was running her hand through a tiny stream. She made two rounds before she explored further, suddenly shrieked that it had him jumping up.

"Matt! Your shirt is completely soaked!"

"Heh?"

"You can't be lying around in that, you know how much you can hurt your back like this? Your muscles are going to stiffen and then inflame and you'll get chronic pains from it!"

Matthew shook his head, lifting himself up on his arms. They were shaking slightly. "Don't be so dram-"

Seline gave him a stern look, eyebrows meeting in the center of her forehead in a think line. "You are getting out of that shirt. Right now. Hands up." She was pulling it over before he even caught his balance.

Matthew grumbled, barely managing to sit so she could peel off his shirt like he was a small child. She threw it on to the floor, then wrapped her hands around his arm. "Alright, come on. Up with you?"

"Where to?" He wanted to just nap on the sofa, please.

"To your room. Change of clothes and to bed with you. You can't even keep your eyes open."

She ignored his protests, dragging him upwards. There was no way she had the strength to do it, so Matt forced himself up. He was never going to let her carry anything heavy, if he was around.

Her sliding under his arm despite it was weirdly...affectionate from her. It was like she looked for any excuse to keep touching him.

"What do we have here?" Isaiah turned on his chair as they came into the room.

Matthew rolled his eyes and almost forgot how to open them again. Seline pushed him towards the bed, rampaging through his closet like she owned the place.

"I have a shirt right under-"

"Nope, you are getting into pajamas," she said decidedly, "fresh ones."

The sound of a book closing went through the room. "Are we having a sleep party?" Isaiah asked curiously like this was a vacation. It was half past seven in the evening, it was way too early for anything.

"This is too much," Matt complained. The fresh set of clothes smelled way better than him. He ended up wiping off his back with his old pajama top before getting into the new ones. "Okay, all clean. You can stop now," he said with a sigh. Was she going to put him to bed too or what?

Seline gave him a satisfied nod, then eyed Isaiah. She sat down next to Matthew, rubbing her hands together. "Hey, Matt...I got an idea. If you don't want to, we don't have to-"

Matthew glowered at her. "What is it?"

"What would you think if we all slept together...in your bed?"

Matthew stared at her uncomprehendingly. It wasn't the first time they all shared a bed or fell asleep together, but it was usually the others gravitating towards one bed or Seline inviting them to hers...

Until it clicked. She was changing the framing. Instead of inviting him to hers, she wanted him to let them stay in his space, his safety, his most vulnerable territory.

With what he had been doing for the last few days— yeah it kinda made sense. He gave a minuscule nod, sliding back to finally lie down.

The light went out soon after.

No more questions asked, Seline came from one side and Isaiah from the other. He had the honored spot of being in the middle. Neat.

Seline propped herself up on his pillows on the side, her hand coming to rest on his cheek. Her forefinger rubbed the skin up and down. She was never this forward with touching his face.

Isaiah came even closer than her, basically burying his face into his back, hands wrapping snuggly around Matthew's waist. The red-haired wolf let out a startled yelp at the contact. Isaiah was never this forward either.

"What's gotten into you?" He made sure to say it with annoyance, though he didn't need an answer.

Seline leaned her forehead against his, brushing some hair from his face. Her touch was so light and he let himself relax at it.

Matt didn't want to demand her touch, just because she was their only witch. There was comfort in her magic for his shadow, of course there was, but he didn't want her to feel like that was her worth in his eyes, like that was the only thing he needed her for. Right then, he was so numb, he could barely feel the effect on his shadow. He felt mainly her, the softness of her fingers, her scent this close all up his nose.

He never wanted to make her feel like she owned him something. It was different when she offered it like this though.

But here they were, both somehow fixing him up. How could it be so powerful? Just the simple act of being held.

Isaiah's presence was on another level, too. The air of calmness and the serious pose were gone, instead there was this clingy man with his long wavy hair tickling Matthew at the nape. Something about Isaiah's chest pressed against his back, being basically cocooned in his arms...it filled the chasm in Matthew, the gap he had been carefully harboring and staggering in.

For the last weeks, he felt like he was falling apart, inside out, and too ashamed of the reason why that was. He was so tired of feeling like a burden, especially after Isaiah finally took him on missions, finally trusted him with things. He wanted to be an equal and support for him, not someone he had to constantly guide and watch out for.

His chest was unknotting, relief flooding over the exhaustion that didn't feel unnerving and grating anymore. He felt a hiccup coming, his stomach muscles spasming a little, but Isaiah's hands were on his waist. Massaging gently against the middle, like he knew exactly what's been going on in the bathroom.

Matthew couldn't fight that sensation at all. He melted completely in Isaiah's arms, Seline's fingers still stroking his cheek, the side of his face, all the way to the chin. As if his face was the most precious piece of glass she owned.

He let his eyes fall shut against the darkness, something wet sliding from the corner of his eye. Seline's finger caught it on his cheek, thumbing it away.

Matthew shuddered under her touch, the arms around him tightening further.

The chasm was closing.

[myveryownfanfiction]

18+ MINORS AND THOSE WITHOUT AGE IN BIO DNI

tags: @illiana-mystery, @iobsessoverfictionalmen, @lulusplaycorner, @psychokinetic-ectoplasm

warnings: swearing, Jake is a bit of an ass, Elwood is objectified and sexualized

AN: thanks @illiana-mystery for helping me get this idea and letting me go on and on when it wouldn’t leave my head. Ur the best! ❤️

“Elwood! Come on!” I called. I leaned against the wall as I waited for him. We’d decided it would be fun to pick each others costumes this year. I had taken one of Elwood’s suits since he wanted me to dress like him. Jake had been in and out of my apartment all day, glancing at me each time.

“give me a minute!” He called back. “You didn’t pick the easiest costume for me to wear.” I rolled my eyes and headed into the kitchen. Jake was raiding my fridge.

”any idea…” Jake asked, looking up at me.

“how long he’ll be? No. He’s apparently having issues putting on the costume.” I shook my head.

“still weird to see you in his suit.” Jake muttered, grabbing a coke and closing the door with a small bang. I shrugged. “What did you get him to wear again anyway?”

“uh well…” I laughed. “You know those magazines you’re fond of?” Jake had the decency to turn a little pink. “Well let’s just say Elwood is fond of them too. So it’s a little pay back on my part.” Jake snorted as he took a drink. “Also beat him to the punch. He couldn’t ask me to wear it since I asked him first.”

“oh this is gonna be good.” Jake laughed. I nodded and looked back as I heard the door open.

“it’s showtime.” I whispered, making Jake laugh again.

“(Y/N)?” Elwood called. I smiled and turned in my chair.

“in the kitchen with Jake!” I called back. There was a noise of complaint and I bit my lip as Jake snickered. “Come on Elwood! We’ve waited long enough! Get on with it!” I heard shuffling as Elwood came down the hall.

“I don’t know why I let you talk me into this.” He muttered as he came into the room. Jake sputtered on his coke, hand pressed to his mouth as I smiled over at Elwood. “Oh hell no!” Elwood groaned, pointing at Jake. “No. Nope. Not happening. I’m changing.”

“el!” I called as he turned to leave. “Come on! Please! You promised me!” I grabbed his hand and watched his bare shoulders move as he breathed deeply to calm himself. “Please. Jake will behave. Right Jake?”

“yeah. Yeah. Whatever they say.” Jake said, wiping his tie with a napkin. “You damn bunny.”

“Jake!” I cried, holding fast to Elwood’s hand. “Get the fuck out of my apartment if you can’t behave yourself!” I motioned with my other hand and Jake stuck his tongue out at me.

“you ass!” Elwood shot at him. Jake flipped him off. “(Y/N).” He whined as he pulled me into my living room. “Why’d you pick this?” My hands hovered over the black satin bodysuit. Elwood frowned at me as I adjusted the chest. Elwood watched me carefully as I smoothed it out. He grabbed at the crotch and pulled it, adjusting it and making my cheeks heat up as his dick pressed against the fabric. “Had to take off my underwear.” He muttered.

“Elwood.” I whimpered as he noticed where my eyes were at. He smirked at me and I smacked his chest. “Ass.”

“so are you.” He shot back as he pressed my hand against his chest, letting my fingers curl into the costume and brush against his chest hair.

“el, please. Just for tonight. Be my personal bunny.” I whispered. He sighed and nodded. “I’m not wearing the ears though.” I smiled at him as I leaned in to kiss him. Elwood sighed through his nose and pulled back with a shake of his head. “Dammit. You minx. Fine but the tail and the bow tie stay here.” I kissed him again and squeezed his sides.

“thank you Elwood.” I said softly. “I promise I’ll keep Jake preoccupied tonight. Or I’ll have someone else do it.” Elwood waved his hand at me before sliding his hands down to my ass.

“yeah yeah yeah.” He muttered as he squeezed. “Long as I’m getting some tonight I don’t care.” I laughed and kissed him deeply.

“oh you are definitely getting some tonight. That is guaranteed.” I promised, sealing it with a kiss.

[justdiptych]

General Fallout gripe: it is weird how often the games assume that all drug use is recreational, rather than performance-enhancing. It's particularly weird, given that the only illicit drugs in the original game were performance-enhancing - steroids (Buffout), study drugs (Mentats) and some sort of secret rage-inducing military concoction (Psycho).

Nominally recreational drugs started appearing in Fallout 2 with Jet (super-meth with a side of shrooms). 2 also featured characters discussing other drugs - weed, coke, peyote - but they didn't appear as in-game items. A few more fun-style drugs have been added since then - Daddy-O, Day Tripper, and such - but they don't get as much attention as the Big 4 of Buffout, Mentats, Psycho and Jet.

So, people talk about using these chems to party, and assume the player does too. Troike in New Vegas says that his standard Saturday night entertainment is Buffout. Hancock in 4 says his favourite indulgence is Mentats. And... I'm not a drugs person, really, but are people really taking steroids to have a good time at the club? And, even if they are, why would they assume that's why the player is using them?

The player doesn't experience any of the pleasures their character is experiencing when they use chems, any more than they can taste the food their character is eating. They're most likely just using them to increase their stats - to pass a check, or do more damage in combat, or whatever. In short, as a performance enhancer. I assume that's why all those drugs discussed in 2 didn't actually appear in-game - because they wouldn't be useful stat-increasers and so didn't make sense to include as, effectively, RPG potions.

I feel like this might come down to maintaining a sense of familiarity and brand recognition - everyone knows Buffout et al. are the Fallout Drugs, so they get plugged in everywhere drugs are needed in the story, whether or not it makes sense. Plus, using the made-up, silly-sounding names helps avoid another morphine/Med-X fiasco (thanks to my country's ridiculous government and its persistent terror of any technology newer than the rotary telephone.)

In which case, well, credit to 4 for inventing some suitably-sillily-named recreational drugs... and I can only attribute it to that game's famously uneven design that it then failed to properly feature them in its story or draw much attention to them at all. I'd be interested to know who made them, who uses them, how they work! But, we got nothing - apparently, they're much less popular highs than combat enhancers and Ritalin.