#weird and cringe and sad. also not free.

[neilphen]

starts rocking back and fourth because all of my favorite musicians are dead or retiring/retired and i cant see them live and ill never see them live

[finelinevogue]

sad beginnings,

summary - everyone sees you as this weird and crazy ravenclaw. everyone except remus and sirius. part 2

pairing - ravenclaw!reader x wolfstar

word count - ~1.5k

tw: angst | no happy ending (yet) | bullies | blood | scratches | self deprecation | she pronouns used

[part 1] [part 3]

Your face stung like a swarm of bees.

The pace you were running through the corridors, causing the cold wind to cut through the cat scratches on your face were so sore. Cat scratches that had been put there purposefully by someone who didn’t like you; Darcy.

Her and her band of Ravenclaw elites thought they ran the House, including Philip who was like the devil incarnate. They have never liked you and have turned the majority of the school against you, claiming that you’re weird and crazy.

Weird? Maybe. Crazy? Well, you certainly wouldn’t use your pet cat to scratch out someone’s cheek just because you had a little more power over them.

Now you were going to have to walk in late to Potions, all because you’d left your textbook in your dorm and then had a run-in with Darcy and her cat.

You’d cleaned up the wound the best you could, but it was just so sore now.

The tears stung in your eyes, willing you to set them free. However, you had already figured out that tears in your cuts were worse than holding back the tears.

You took a deep breath before walking into the Potions class that Professor Slughorn taught.

He didn’t particularly care for favourites and he didn’t really have least favourites, but he did make a deal about his students being late to his lessons.

The door made a loud screech as it opened. Way to walk in subtly.

You kept your head down as everyone’s eyes turned to yours.

Lots of whispering started up and it no doubt had everything to the scratches down your cheek, and the fact you were never ever late.

“Ah. Nice of you to join us, Miss L/N.” Professor Slughorn spoke, making you cringe at his tone.

“Sorry I’m late, Sir.” You looked up at him and saw him cringe in return as he saw your cheek. He made no move to comment on it though.

“Take a seat now, please. See me after class for a detention.”

You shamefully dropped your head. Now your perfect record would be screwed over.

Sirius dramatically stood up from his chair, the sound of metal upon the stone floor grating everyone’s ears to pieces.

“Actually that won’t be necessary, Sir. Y/N gave me her textbook since I’d forgotten mine at breakfast, so Y/N went to the Hall for me to retrieve it. Wouldn’t want your precious textbooks going missing, Professor.”

“Oh, well, never mind then.” Slughorn shrugged. Sirius knew he was wrapped around Slughorn’s finger and used it to his advantage to save you a detention.

You looked over to him and smiled in thanks, but Sirius didn’t smile back. Neither did Remus. They were both looking at you with concern, or at least what you thought was concern. It might be anger for nearly getting them in trouble.

James tugged on Sirius’ shirt for him to sit down again. Sirius tugged away from him though, fists clenching against his sides as he watched you.

You attempted to find a seat then.

You walked over to a table full of other Ravenclaw girls in your year, but the one empty seat at the table instantly became unavailable as a girl dumped her bag on the chair next to her.

“Seats taken.”

“Oh, sorry.” You said softly, walking to another table where there were only three of them sat. Plenty of room.

You went to pull out a chair next to one of the guys there, only to realise there was black ink all over the stool for some reason - meaning it was also unavailable.

“Tough luck.” One of the boys said and the rest snickered.

“Miss L/N, why don’t you just go and sit over there.” Slughorn pointed his hand over to where an empty table was. It should’ve seated 6 people, but currently no one was sat there.

You nodded your head and quickly made your way to the table before any more attention could be drawn towards you.

It was a table at the back of the room and quite far out of sight of the blackboard, making it difficult to copy out the notes. You tried your best.

At one point during the lesson you turned your head to the wall to let out a few tears, knowing no one could see you. A few salty tears burned over your wound, but you bit on your lip to cover the sob that wanted to erupt from your chest.

This really fucking sucked.

You were all for self-wallowing, but when it was in the middle of a class you hated it.

There was a time and a place for it and it was not here and it wasn’t now.

You dug your blunt fingernails, from all the anxious biting, into your palms to suppress the emotions you wanted to let out. Focusing on the lesson and Slughorn’s words were your best chance of getting through this.

You were busy writing away, trying to keep up with the notes, when you felt someone sit down next to you. Your natural instinct was to tense and shuffle away only slightly, because who wanted to sit next to you if not to torment you further?

“Y/N?”

You were shocked to see Remus sat next to you.

“Oh, hi, Remus. Are you okay? Am I in the way or something?” You looked around you to make sure you weren’t.

“No, no! We- I mean, I, just wanted to ask you something?” He stumbled over his words.

“Sure.”

“Uh.. Well….”

“Oh my God, Remus! Are you okay?” You gasped when you saw a cut along his forehead, which was hidden beneath his hair and you’d only seen because of how close you were sitting.

So close, in fact, that you could smell his cologne: Cedar wood and… something else.

“Me? Are you seriously asking me that right now?” He looked shocked and you blushed like mad.

“I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have asked, it wasn’t my place. I apologise.” You shook your head and tried to refocus on your work.

“Y/N…” Remus said ever so softly.

His voice was so pretty. So delicate.

Sirius’ was more rough and deeper. Both were a song to listen to.

You didn’t reply, thinking that if you just ignored them he wouldn’t be mad at you anymore. Because he was mad, right? You shouldn’t have questioned something so personal about him.

“Y/N?” He asked again.

You’d never get over hours name sounded coming from him.

Slowly, you tilted your head towards him. Instead of being met with a furious gaze you were met with something much softer. His warm eyes looked troubled.

You looked at him nervously, hoping for the best out of whatever this situation was.

He reached up a hand towards your face, a couple of rings placed on his ridiculously well structured fingers. You followed the movement of his hand, whilst Remus followed your eyes.

His fingers carefully brushed your fallen hair that covered your cheek and only slightly pushed it to the side, his fingers barely touching your skin.

You let out a shaky breath.

You were one to wear your emotions on your sleeve and Remus had you feeling very nervous in that moment. Not nervous like you’d been around Darcy or Philip. A different kind. A better kind.

“Who did this to you?” He asked.

You looked up to see him studying the cuts like you’d seen him in the library studying for a test. He was trying to map out all the details of your scratches, so it seemed.

“What?”

“Please, Y/N. Let us know who did this to you? Hell, even what did this?”

“Us?” Was the word you chose to focus on.

“Yes—.”

“Mr Lupin, there’s a time and a place for funny business and it won’t be in my classroom.” Slughorn broke whatever moment had happened between you and Remus.

Remus had been quick to drop your hair, apologise and return to his seat.

Your cheeks flushed red with the thought of someone catching you looking, almost, intimate with Remus.

Oh God.

What if Sirius had seen?

You looked over to where Remus had rejoined Sirius. Remus was whispering to Sirius whilst you watched Sirius’ jaw click.

The chill that surpassed you when Sirius turned to face you across the room told you everything you needed to know.

Stay. The hell. Away. From. My boyfriend.

•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•

As Slughorn finished the class Remus quickly tried to stuff everything into his satchel before everyone left without him.

“C’mon! Hurry up!” Sirius urged him - only because he obviously didn’t have his own bag and made Remus carry everything.

“Shut it.” Remus snipped, shoving his textbook in his bag before grabbing his cloak and moving.

“Hey, calm down.” Sirius tried to soothe him, slipping his hand into Remus’.

“Calm down— Are you insane?”

“A bit.”

“How am I supposed to be calm when half of Y/N’s face is missing?” Remus whisper shouted and Sirius quickly pushed him back against a stone wall for a time-out.

“Calm down. I mean it, Rem.”

Remus let the cool of the stone wall sink in through his skin and allow him to breathe again.

He didn’t know what was coming over him recently.

“Y/N’s gone now, because I couldn’t pull myself together.” Remus sighed.

Sirius brought his hand up to cup underneath Remus’ chin lightly, making it so he had no choice but to look at him.

“Look at me.” Remus tried to move away, but Sirius’ hands held strong. “Hey, don’t. Look at me. We are going to find Y/N and get to the bottom of whatever has happened, okay? But you need to calm down first.”

Remus let his shoulders exhale and he nodded. “Okay.”

Sirius smiled, leaning in to give Remus a few kisses. One for listening to him and another just because he loved him so much. Sirius could really feel Remus calming down after those.

“I just… Y/N is… she means…” Remus struggled to find the right words to say, but it didn’t really matter.

“I know. She means the same to me.”

Sirius rested his forehead against Remus, as they calmed each other and maybe one day hoping you’d be right there beside them.

[notyourhetloki]

boy doll (Ken x male Reader)

Reader: he/him

/Ken x Doll!Reader/

A/N: No one asked for this but I was inspired so here you go! I'm cringe but I'm free!! Requests are open btw

Warnings: NOT spoiler free, slightly possessive Ken

Song Rec/Mentioned: Hozier - Like Real People Do

—

Just like Allan or Midge, you were one of a kind. A new doll to grace the streets of Barbieland... how exciting!

You were quickly one of the boys, getting along immediately especially with Allan and... one blondie named Ken.

Your favorite place in town was the beach, so you naturally became friends first with beach Ken (you know... the one whose job was to beach).

At the beginning he was shy, but soon warmed up to you as you seemed to get him. He even asked for advice on some personal problems.

For example, there was something about him bringing patriarchy to Barbieland and brainwashing all Barbies a few months ago... yeah, he still needed to address that. But after some help with his guilt and long apologies to each and every Barbie, he started feeling more like himself.

You liked his personality, he was funny and charming and always excited about his favorite activities. It was truly enjoyable watching him do his thing, and you weren't afraid to let him know that.

"Good job, Ken!" or "Keep going!" made part of your daily vocabulary.

And oh, he noticed that. I mean, his other Ken friends also hyped him up but... you actually felt so genuine, so... different somehow.

For whatever reason, Ken began feeling jealous of you. He hated seeing you compliment any other Kens or Barbies... He just felt possessive and he didn't know why. You were just his friend, after all...

But one day he snapped once he saw you sharing a laugh with Simu!Ken, joking around innocently. He grabbed you by the wrist and took you to his Mojo Dojo Casa House, where he could have you all by himself.

You thought to yourself that maybe he was acting jealous, but you didn't want to create any expectations... You could be one of a kind but you were still a boy doll, not a Barbie...

In reality, you really liked him... and were not sure where to put so many feelings all of a sudden. You wanted to be his boyfriend, but that just felt weird, right? To want to hold his hand and walk around with matching clothes, to call him 'love' and 'baby' and even... kiss him...

NO. You couldn't think that! That was ridiculous, and it would never happen anyway... he didn't want you.

Or so you thought.

At his house, you were sitting side by side listening to music when Ken decided to look at you. Focused on the lyrics, you didn't notice him staring, looking at your perfect hair and beautiful eyes, and... inviting lips.

He felt crazy, completely out of his mind! What was going on with his feelings? A few months ago he was simping for Barbie and now... now he wanted you. He felt seen by you and that made his chest ache (weird).

The reality was, Ken liked Barbie because that was what he was made for... but now that he was free, he liked you because... because he chose you.

In an involuntary motion, he moved his hand to brush yours. The touch was swift but electric, and you both felt it.

You quickly shot a look at him, confusion and hope mixing inside you... but as soon as he touched your hand, he was up and gone.

"Ah, sorry... I-I have to... I have to go." He stumbled out of the room and ran outside, not looking back.

You were left sad and confused, did you do something wrong? Was it just a mistake? You didn't know...

After what seemed like a couple of hours, you decided to go to the beach to ease your mind a bit. The sun was setting and there shouldn't be a lot of people to disturb you.

But Ken was there, playing his guitar. You walked slowly so you didn't startle him, and gently sat by his side. He immediately stopped playing, looking at you with big blue eyes. "Hey..."

"Hey... May I?" you responded, pointing at his guitar. He nodded, handing it over to you.

You started playing a Hozier song, you figured he wouldn't know it, and you hoped he picked up on the message.

"I will not ask you where you came from I will not ask you, neither should you Honey just put your sweet lips on my lips We should just kiss like real people do."

You looked at his eyes while singing, and immediately felt a shift in the air. His teary eyes shone while he admired your face, your voice... you were singing to him, right? He couldn't possibly be this delusional.

After you were done, you quickly got up to leave but were interrupted by a hold on your hand, pulling you down.

"(Y/N)! Don't go just yet..." You sat down again, face burning with sudden embarrassment. You couldn't believe you had played guitar to him, but you did!

Ken looked at you in awe, not knowing what to say. His head was full of a thousand things he wanted to confess but, nothing could evoke what he felt just right.

He looked down and up at your eyes again a few times before deciding... suddenly he grabbed both sides of your face and kissed you tenderly.

You were shocked at first, but not a few moments later started kissing him back, lips gently meeting each other in tandem.

When you finally parted, Ken breathed a sigh of relief, smiling while taking your hands in his. "No one has ever played the guitar for me before..."

"Well, I'm here for whatever you need me." You grinned back, squeezing his hands gently. "I've always been here..."

"I know, baby boy. I know..." You laughed a little at the way he called you, drawing a big smile from him. "You like that? Baby boy?"

"I'm fine with that, sure..." You continued to grin, holding his hands while admiring his face. He looked so beautiful when he was happy...

"Woo woo! Go get it, boys!" A sudden voice cheered from the sea, Mermaid!Barbie rising her arms in excitement as she looked at you both before disappearing again into the sea.

You and Ken laughed hysterically at the scene... and for the rest of the night, he never released your hand from his.

—

[profectua]

》ＢＬＵＥ ＬＯＣＫ Ｈｅａｄｃａｎｏｎｓ

ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢꜱ; ɴᴏɴᴇ! ᴘᴜʀᴇ ᴄʀᴀᴄᴋ ʟᴍᴀᴏ

ᴄʜᴀʀᴀᴄᴛᴇʀꜱ; ɪꜱᴀɢɪ, ʙᴀᴄʜɪʀᴀ, ᴄʜɪɢɪʀɪ, ᴋᴜɴɪɢᴀᴍɪ, ɴᴀɢɪ, ʀᴇᴏ, ʙᴀʀᴏᴜ, ʀɪɴ, ʜɪᴏʀɪ, ᴋᴀʀᴀꜱᴜ, ʏᴜᴋɪᴍɪʏᴀ, ᴏᴛᴏʏᴀ

Isagi: Back when he was younger, he had a phase where he would do the dab whenever he scored a goal. It could be completely outdated too and people would cringe at him LMAO. Might’ve also done fortnite dance (he doesn’t even play fortnite). His teammates try to go over and celebrate but he randomly breaks into the orange justice (he can’t even do it properly) so they end up just standing there like 🧍. Let him have his moment I guess???

Bachira: He was one of those kids that played with insects outside or something (speaking from experience) 😭. You’d catch him playing outside and there were 3 worms, each with different names. He probably gave them sad backstories too. The neighbors thought he was weird as hell. If someone pointed it out, he’d be like “Stop being rude to them! They’re my friends!” And he’d actually look pissed off, exactly like this emoji 😠. If he comes back to the same spot only to find that they aren’t there, he’ll come home crying 😭 🙏 Please help him.

Chigiri: He’s canonically a moody guy…I feel like he ‘decides’ his mood for the day ykyk 😭. If it’s a clear sky, sunny day, he’ll choose to be happy but if he wakes up and it’s raining, he decides that he’s gonna be angry. Always ends up breaking character though. If he's laughing and suddenly remembers that he's supposed to be angry, he’ll immediately put on a blank expression again like 😐 and the people around him think they did something wrong LMAOO. Like??? What happened bro???

Kunigami: His go-to pose for photos is the thumbs up or the peace sign and HE LOOKS SO STIFF. He’s just there like 🙂 ✌️. He looks so awkward pls 😭. His little sister is trying so hard not to laugh and he’s just like ???? What's so funny?? If he’s accidentally photo-bombing and realises too late, he’ll strike that EXACT POSE until someone tells him to move cus his brain couldn’t process it ITS SO SAD 😭

Nagi: Once, when he was younger, he tried doing one of those free robux application things where you play a bunch of games for robux and he thought it was legit because some youtuber did it. His parents were like “Seishiro what are you even doing” and he was like “I’m grinding robux mom, you wouldn’t understand” Like Nagi…don’t even get your hopes up 😬. Long story short, it didn’t work and he ended up with some virus on his ipad. He woke his parents up at 3am and was like “um…I think I got hacked ☹️” His parents WERE NOT pleased 😭

Reo: Had a little rebellious phase where he only used cringey Gen Z slang. In front of his parents too and they’d stare at him like 😨. “Zamn ngl this food is bussin’ fr goated no cap,” said young Reo, at a luxurious 5-star restaurant. His mom almost choked on her food. Probably got side-eyed by the waiter too. He didn’t even realise that it wasn’t cool until he found out that NOBODY actually says all that 😭.

Barou: When he’s eating other people's food or eating at a restaurant, he judges it like he’s Gordan Ramsey or something??? Imagine he’s at someone's house for dinner and then when they’re eating he has this whole routine. First he sniffs, feels the texture, then he examines with his eyes, and finally starts eating. You’ll tell if he likes it or not from his expressions 💀 He’ll start interrogating too LMAO. He’d be like “What kind of spice is this?” “How much salt did you add?” HE’S NOT PLAYING YALL.

Rin: Took elementary dodgeball SERIOUSLY. He’d yell at his teammates. Losing? Not on his watch. “WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING?! IT’S DODGE BALL NOT GET HIT IN THE FACE BALL YOU LOSER!”. If he ever lost a game in PE, he’d start crying and throwing a fit, all while blaming his teammates. He would act like an angel if Sae was there though LMAO.

Hiori: He tries to re-enact cool moves from video games. Like if there's a character that has a cool playstyle he’ll literally hop out of his gaming chair just to swing a spatula around 😭. He got the sound effects goin on too, you can hear little pews and booms. Or if there’s a specific voice line from the final boss that he thinks sounds cool he’ll say it out loud (sometimes his parents hear and they think that he’s lost it not that they care though.)

Karasu: He had a huge chess.com phase, probably in middle school. But he was that one kid that goes ‘I wasn’t even trying tho lol’ when he lost (behind the screen he is SCREAMING in rage). ALSO He’s the type to be super expressive (kinda like Barou) 😭. You’ll know when he’s judging you cus’ his face will go 😬 😲 ☹️ 😧 🤔 in that order 💀. He could say something but his expressions reveal all there is.

Yukimiya: When he first got his glasses, he probably forgot them a lot LOL. Like he’d show up to football practice without them and one of his teammates would go “Yo where’s your glasses, Yukki?” and he’d be like…oh yeah. There was probably one point where he thought his eyesight was getting better. He woke up one morning and just decided that he suddenly felt like he had good vision again. It was all in his head 💀.

Otoya: He once tried hitting on a girl when her boyfriend WAS RIGHT THERE and he didn’t even notice. Let’s just say he ran for his life. His older sister has a video recording of it and uses it as blackmail. Worst of all he genuinely thought he could've ‘stolen’ her from him 😭 LIKE OTOYA NO. 😭

[sourbinnie]

☆ pretender.mp3 ☆

♡ genre ¿? ♡ -> angst ♡ pair ¿? ♡ -> ot8!skz + 9th member!reader (gender neutral) ♡ plot ¿? ♡ -> a night to remember starring your mom & dad (in the worst way possible) ♡ warnings ¿? ♡ -> family issues (toxic parents) ♡ request ¿? ♡ -> yes!

a/n -> i'm not writing from personal experience but i've seen a lot of people not have the best relationship with their parents. it's not easy to stand up to people you love and you want that love back too right? so it's not you to blame. please know that families are not always blood, sometimes they're chosen and the best experiences come from those who actually care and show you that they are there. if this one's too personal or too triggering, feel free to skip it! i love you all, my dms are always open.

it wasn't a good idea from the start. you have always been on a tightrope with your parents but you couldn't really deny their request since they invited everyone when they were backstage and your bandmates kindly agreed. so now everyone was ready to actually meet them and to have a pleasant evening but you expected the worst. everyone saw how your attitude completely changed when you were in your family home, well if you could call it that.

it was never easy to be on the same level as your parents, for them to understand you. at first they didn't even want you to become an idol since you were risking so much by it but they eventually came to terms with it. right now though you could say you didn't have a relationship with them, your teenage years have gone to waste because of them leaving you in a fragile state. 

it was like you didn't connect anymore to what was going on. they might express and say that they're proud of how far you've gone but when you stumbled and you fell, they didn't catch you. now that they're back in your life (since you didn't see them for so long during your trainee and debut days) and showing up to events to support you, you felt odd. maybe you just weren't used to it and things would get eventually better but you couldn't help but doubt everything in your mind as you sat there and saw the boys interacting with your parents. 

you could feel someone sitting next to you and as you turned to see who it was, it happened to be felix. it was no secret that you had a fake smile the entire time and that your interactions were kinda weird. so you weren't really surprised when one of them noticed it. 

"your parents aren't like this always aren't they?" he asked and you nodded as you took a sip from your drink. considering everything you went through and all the things that they made you live, you could not really lie. you didn't want to pretend everything was alright 'cause you truly didn't feel like you could. you also didn't want to act like my parents were monsters but they weren't really nice people either.

"i just feel so weird being here right now." you mumbled and felix did try to comprehend you but at the end of the day couldn't. your past wasn't something you talked about with the boys and you were sure no one would have agreed to come here tonight if they actually knew the story behind your sadness.

"lighten up kiddo, you've always been this way!" your dad said which caught you off guard since you were sure that he was having a different conversation with someone else seconds ago. you didn't expect him to interrupt what you were gonna say to felix but also you knew this is where the weird comments would start.

"oh our (y/n), never bring the mood up" your mother said and it physically made you cringe but you let it pass. the night had just started yet you wanted it to be over already. it's not like anyone else noticed that you were suffering because of these things they were saying (or that's what you thought).

as the night progressed, you could hear compliments left and right. how much they admired the work and the effort that your members put in, how they were absolutely stunning to look at and just the best of the best when it came to everything. you couldn't recall the last time that they admired you like that and you had to hold back the tears because it was all too much. 

and then it finally arrived, what you were expecting and in front of your friends, your actual family. 

"our (y/n) always wanted to become an idol. we don't know how it happened but now they're here and that's what matters." ouch, they really called you talentless like you just got lucky by chance and they selected you out of pity or something.

"i truly think (y/n) is a crucial part of the team." chan said to lighten up the mood and give you a little smile on the process which you responded to by just shaking your head. he didn't need to defend you, it was fine, you were used to this kind of bullshit. "we wouldn't be where we are if it wasn't for them being with us."

"hard to believe, you're all talented young men!" your dad added leaving you out once again. it was inevitable that everyone was feeling kind of uncomfortable, it was like the attitude your parents were showing before was just a mask and these were the actual people behind it.

"(y/n)'s talent is immeasurable and their kindness is what i like about them the most." changbin said, trying to change the subject so that they would say something positive for you. it wasn't gonna happen, you already knew but you always had hope in your heart that maybe something nice would come out of it.

"well you should've seen them growing up, it wasn't easy." your mom commented and if the humiliating wasn't enough, it just kept going. 

"i'm sure most of us weren't easy teenagers to deal with." minho said and he looked completely done with everything. you knew how protective he was towards you but you also didn't expect him to jump on the train trying to defend you from your parents.

"yeah well it was probably very different to what we had to deal with. (y/n) was a difficult kid and now they're better but sometimes we wish they would open up more." wow you wonder why you didn't do it. with parents like that, better keep everything to yourself right?

you shook your head and grabbed your things to go outside. you weren't gonna say anything, you couldn't, you were never the type of person to confront. at the end of the day nothing was gonna change as much as you grew as a person or as a musician, they would never take you seriously. you didn't expect all of them to follow you but they did as you let your tears slide down your face. your relationship was never gonna mend, it was broken before you could fix it.

"i'm sorry. i should've told you all before we even came here, it was so awkward too." you said in between tears and sobs. you wanted nothing more than for the car that brought you here to arrive and drop you in the dorms. jisung reached for you as he hugged, holding you tightly as you let everything out.

"you don't have to say you're sorry. you didn't do anything wrong and we should've never accepted if you didn't feel confident and comfortable about it." chan said as he looked at you, he felt like he let you down but it was from that. you were so happy to have band members that looked after you in such a way, that cared about you so deeply and would stand up to your biggest fears.

it was hard saying that your biggest fear was your parents' opinion. you could act like you didn't care, like it was so easy to ignore it but you knew deep down all you ever wanted was for them to accept you. to love you for who you are and not who they had a vision of you being.

"i already called for them to pick us up." minho said as he grabbed your hand and squeezed it. 

so you guys stayed there in the cold night, holding you and whispering sweet nothings as they tried to calm you down. it was for sure a night to remember for all of them but especially for you, the embarrassment was immeasurable but the scars will always remain. 

[rafyki]

Goth! Nico/ Surfer! Percy AU Part 4!

Just a little thingy about Nico talking about what happened with Jason and Leo - I added some more valgrace for you @neo-kid-funk! I hope you enjoy it! 💕💕

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

~~~~~~

“Oh my god, he was flirting with you”.

Nico rolled his eyes at his friend. Leo hadn’t been there he couldn’t know that - it had been weird, sure, but that didn’t mean it must have been flirting, right?

The only thing Nico was sure of was that whatever that conversation he had had with Percy that afternoon had been, even just thinking about it was making butterflies fly like crazy in his stomach.

“For the umpteenth time, Leo, he was not flirting with me”.

Leo got up from where he was lying on the floor with his head on Jason’s lap just to fix Nico with the most judgemental look ever.

“Let me teach you how to surf”, he said, making air quotes with his fingers. “That definitely sounds like flirting to me”.

“Yeah, ‘cause you’re such an expert in flirting, aren’t you?”

It was Leo’s turn to roll his eyes at him. 

“I know we all love talking about me, but somehow I’m not the main topic right now”, he said. “Also, I am the one with a boyfriend here, Goth-boy, so…”.

Nico scowled at him. God, he hated his friends.

It wasn’t not like he hadn’t expected the teasing that would come from telling them everything, but somehow Leo always managed to go beyond his expectations for how annoying he could be. 

Nico hated how he couldn’t help but think that what he was saying made sense, couldn’t help the hot burning of hope growing inside him; he hated it, he could not allow himself to hope for real just to end up disappointed in the end.

Maybe Percy was just the kind of person who went around asking people if he could teach them how to surf? Maybe it was his way of showing off? It wasn’t like Nico knew him well enough to know this.

I know he loves the Little Mermaid though, his brain very usefully reminded him. I know he looked so embarrassed when I told him I don’t want to learn how to surf.

And I know he smiled at me when I told him I would look at him.

The last thought made his face burn. He didn’t even know how he had managed to recount the whole conversation to his friends without dying of embarrassment. 

The more he thought about it the more the whole conversation with Percy sounded weirder and weirder if he removed the chance that it was indeed flirting. His heart jumped in his chest at the thought.

“Come on, Leo”, Jason stepped in. He wrapped his arms around Leo’s middle and pulled him to lay against his chest, resting his head on top of his. 

Nico wasn’t jealous of them in any way, but he still felt his insides twisting around in a knot at the sight. He wondered how it would feel to have Percy’s arms around himself like that, if they too would fit together so well. 

Don’t be ridiculous, Nico. You barely know the guy.

“Nico”, Jason said, pulling him out of his thoughts. “We’re not saying he was one hundred percent flirting with you - but really, he does sound interested in you at least in some measure”.

Nico hated how reasonable he made it sound. It was easier to get lost in the banter with Leo, but Jason was so pragmatic it was impossible to respond back to him.

“Also, you said he smiled at you when you told him-”

“Please don’t say it out loud”, Nico pleaded, cringing at himself. He still thought that burying himself under the ground somewhere could be his best option out of this,

Jason smiled at him, Leo laughed.

 “Well”, Leo said. “One thing’s for sure - at least you were definitely flirting with him”.

“I’m going to kill you, Valdez”.

“You can’t! That would make Jason sad”, Leo replied. “Also, you know you love me, Goth-boy”.

Nico hated that he was right after all. 

Jason was looking at them with a fond look in his eyes.

“I wasn’t flirting”, Nico mumbled in the end. “I just- I just happened to say that. I wasn’t really thinking”.

Percy made his mind go blank, free from any thought that wasn’t about how handsome he was, how Nico wanted him to keep smiling at him, and how much he wanted to get to know him. Really, all Nico had been thinking about was that he didn’t want Percy to leave, that he wanted that moment to last for as long as possible. 

He let himself fall on the floor, lying down with his arms open. Biting on his lip rings had become a nervous habit, and he found himself doing it again as he stared up at the ceiling.

“Even if you weren’t thinking, it was still a pretty flirty thing to say”, Leo said. “And you said he looked pleased at that - so really, it’s a win-win situation”.

“Leo is right”, Jason added. “As awkward as it might have been, it sounds like all in all it was good. You talked to him for a while, you flirted, he seemed interested in you - so, what is it that’s making you being negative about it?”

Nico hid his face in the palms of his hands. He wanted to scream. 

“I don’t know”, he pushed out through his dry throat. 

Maybe it seemed too good to be true? Maybe he was afraid that even if Percy really was interested in him now he wouldn’t be anymore once he would get to really know him? Maybe he was just too embarrassed. Or maybe he simply wasn’t used to things going his way. He really didn’t know. 

He suddenly felt two warm presences around him. He moved his hands away to see Jason sitting close to him with a hand on his shoulder, and Leo laying down next to him with his head resting on Nico’s side.

“You have this horrible habit of self sabotaging yourself, man”, Leo said.

Jason nodded. “You’re allowed to have good things, Nico”.

Oh Nico hated his friends. 

“Shut up”, he said, hiding behind his hands again.

“Just talk to him again next time”, Jason said.

“Flirt with him again”, Leo added.

“See what happens”. 

“And anyway you’re both so bad at flirting you must be made for each other”.

Nico blindly reached out to hit Leo on the head, and smiled when he got an offended ‘ouch’ in response.

Maybe he did love his friends after all.

[hackedmotionsensors]

lol i've complained about this a fair amount on twitter but I got a comment last night? that made me think about this again.

And its ...getting weird comments that I cannot tell if they're being RUDE or there's a language barrier or some combination of both.

I finished a standee art last night and posted it and this morning I get a reply from someone who's replied very confusingly before...."You're tired and need to go to sleep"

Which LMAO wasn't entirely untrue but that was the whole comment on the art.

Not to put this person on blast and obviously do not go bother them if you know where the comment is at.....

But like what the hell does that mean? I F E E L like this is a translation error or a miscommunication. But thats the ENTIRE problem. THAT IS THE ENTIRE PROBLEM. I'm tired of getting comments that are CONFUSING to me AT BEST...and more often just fucking rude.

Like....its weird. Bc i've been on the internet for close to 3 decades now??? Lol I'm so old. But.....I've been more confused in the past year or so with how people talk to perfect strangers on the internet. I think it might be a generational thing but like LMAO ARE THE "KIDS THESE DAYS" just ......fucking RUDE??? Like I've heard pre-teens and teens talk to each other and its pretty mean but so were a lot of kids when I was a teen. So maybe its a language barrier there.

But I feel like....because everyone is so comfortable talking to perfect strangers on the internet, and getting EXTREMELY overly close? or thinking they have the right to speak to people as if we're super besties (which in turn means saying a rude backhanded compliment thats intended to be nice but just sounds mean??)...its just....so common lately for me to just be like "Why the fuck would you say this to me?"

I'm not your friend. I'm just a random artist online that draws from a fandom you probably like (or hate? Idk your life lol)

I think this whole thing STARTED with Japanese and Korean artists (and probably lots of other languages that aren't English) begging people to stop leaving horrible reaction images or people saying "I'M GONNA K*LL YOU!!!!! THIS IS DEVASTATING!!!! I'M DEAD!!!!" and the poor artist being like...okay well this is a thing I have to live with now.

And I thought we DID move past that but I feel like its back just without the reaction images bc Gen Alpha and Z thinks reaction images are cringe LMAO (small blessings)

But ....I forget which drawing I did.....It was something sad. I think it was a sad zosan?? And this person LITERALLY said they were going to hunt me down. And that wasn't the initial comment. They said something equally as rude and when I asked for clarification for what they meant they were like " I'M GONNA FIND OUT WHERE YOU LIVE"

GIRL ITS FANART OF ZORO AND SANJI!?!?!?! WHAT DO YOU MEAN

Again. I've talked about this til I'm blue in the face (fingers?? since its typing??) about this on twitter. And I've been sitting on this comment for nearly 24 hrs just....fucking confused. And I hate this ....confusion. Bc In My Day(tm) .....lol I didn't like mean comments then either but it was usually some asshole in my tumblr mail being like "YOU FUCKIN SUCK!!" lol

I might just be too stupid to interpret these quirky little comments but like

guys please if you like something. Just be normal and say "omg I love this" or like a cute reaction that is APPROPRIATE to the situation lol Don't demand things from me when I'm already giving you something that I'm doing in my free time for fun. Lol And stop asking me if there's a fic for comics or art that i TELL you came from me asdfasdfa I don't know where the fic is. I'd like to know too. (but also if I draw from a fic I link to the fic but I've decided to stop that for the time being. Any comics coming from me will be mine wholecloth for the foreseeable future)

[kabuki-draws]

I watched Ridley Scott's NAPOLEON yesterday and it was a complete Waterloo.

Yes, I am a big history nerd with a giant heart for movie adaptation of historical topics. But when I watched NAPOLEON I sat there... and tried not to laugh. It was not only so historical inaccurate, that I wanted to cry, at the same time it was filled with cringe dialogues, red flags and terrible color grading. This whole movie made me so sad yet so angry, that I HAVE to write this review:

(Disclaimer: This review is based on my own opinion. If you enjoyed the movie, it's completely fine. Btw. in that case or if you agree with me, feel free to tell me your opinion. I would love to know!)

First of all: Don't get me wrong, the medium film has its own rules and you can't put as much historical accuracy into a big scale movie as you would into a documentary - sometimes the story needs to be altered to be a good movie. And that is fine. Even if Gladiator is a complete fictional story set in the Roman Empire, I can still enjoy this movie for what it is: A good-written story with great characters, a beautiful score and iconic scenes. With Kingdom of Heaven it's kind of the same - and while the movie cut was very inconsistent, I still kind of liked it. But then the Directors Cut made it a a masterpiece for me.

Funny enough, both of these movies are made by the same person: Ridley Scott. So naturally I thought: Well, Napoleon won't be a historical accurate film, but I surely will enjoy it anyways. Well, ...no. It is not only historical incorrect, it's also a bad movie overall.

To start it short: NAPOLEON clearly lost itself in all the various topics it wanted to tell within a runtime of two and a half hours. It made the whole storytelling very weird and inconsistent, causing the problem, that the audience even loses itself in the questions of when and where. Where is that scene located? When did that happen? And then comes the question: Why is this even happening?

Ridley Scott wants to depict Napoleon as a lover, a military genius, a big political figure, a revolutionary and more. But in the end he tells all of this in the most shallow way possible, which waters down Napoleons personality traits and achievements to a series of small scenes. You never get a glimpse of the "true" Napoleon, who was described as a highly intelligent and charismatic man. In fact, you never really feel ANYTHING about him except that he was a cringe red flag in front of his wife. He just stands there, stares and has very limited dialogue scenes to get a picture of that man. What are his overall motivations? Only Josephine? If so, why is this motivation only vaguely explored?

The whole love story between him and Josephine feels so unnatural and got to the brink of being disgusting. This is particularly sad because I deeply respect Vanessa Kirby and Joaquin Phoenix, they're both stunning actors. I don't know if they just couldn't fit the role or if it was rather a problem of the script (the last one is my guess). Yet whenever I saw Josephine and Napoleon on screen, I felt like acted very stiff and forced. Napoleon seemed more obsessed with her than actual love and that can be a character trait, but there wasn't a chance to explore that deeper. Before the movie entered the cinema, the lovestory between these two was marketed as intense, obsessive, deeper than you could imagine. What the audience got was a few scenes without real conversation, much staring and a bunch of cringeworthy s-scenes. And seriously, these "sexy" scene were the worst. I was so disgusted by them because they were SO DAMN WEIRD. There are no scenes that undermine ANY deep love between Josephine and Napoleon. It felt therefore so off, when they still longed for each other after their divorce.

And let's not start to ramble about the fact that they depicted Josephine ONLY in a somehow sexual way. Yeah, there is that scene where she says to Napoleon, that he is nothing without her. BUT SHOW, DON´T TELL! You never see her doing something instead of sitting there, talking with others or when the plot needs her to have sexy time with someone (not only Napoleon). As a woman myself this makes me so freaking furious, you have no idea. I don't need a marvel-coded super-strong woman with unlimited talents - I just need a female character that is written GOOD and plausible! Make me CARE for her plot and for the plot of Napoleon! Both of them don't even feel like normal human beings because they're like blank pieces of paper with their names written on it!

And don´t make me start to talk about the historical inaccuracies. At first I didn't want to draw that card. Actually, I don't need a historical movie to present 100% facts. If the movie is still enjoyable, it's okey. But even if many people say that the war scenes were awesome, I can only partly agree. Yeah, we have that cool ice-lake Austerlitz battle, but it took me a couple of minutes and a better look on the uniforms to know that Napoleon is now at war with Austria! You get nearly ZERO context to Napoleons battles. Yeah, nice, the scenes look cool - but there is nothing more to it? Is that all you need to show for the audience to care? For me at least, I just didn't care at all and I was very happy when I got out of the cinema. Overall this movie is full of messy non-sense choices that don't contribute to the story. Many moments just confused me and it left me with the question why Scott couldn't simply hire some historians to put together a consistent story. Everyone who read about Napoleons life knows that there are so much cinema worthy moments in his career that would've been so much better than what we now got.

I could ramble about that movie for hours if I´m honest, but I hope this little TED talk was enough to make my statement clear.

In the end, it just makes me sad. I wanted to like this movie, I wanted it to be good. For months I hyped myself up to this, read books about Napoleon, watched the trailer all over and over and talked with friends about how great this movie will be. Now I am just disappointed and frustrated. Oppenheimer was such a great biopic of a historical person that became a great success at the box office - even without great battle scenes. I hoped that Napoleon would push a cinema revolution, that shows people want big scaled films about historical personalities and history topics. But now I just want to forget this Napoleon movie to be honest.

[riddle-rosethorns]

I can't believe I missed the fact that your requests are open! I've failed you, Mr. President... ;_;

Request time: could I get some headcanons for what kinds of music the housewardens listen to?

The Housewardens' Music Taste

Summary: Having your own private dorm room at NRC means having the freedom to blast whatever you want through your speakers. But just what exactly are our dorm leaders listening to when nobody else is around?

Characters: All Housewardens Pairings: None CWs: Swearing, she/they pronouns for Idia.

A/N: I'm sorry this took *checks calendar* almost ten months for me to answer, I promise it hasn't been for lack of interest! Sometimes writing is hard and my brain is mean. Thank you for your patience! These takes are admittedly heavily biased by my own music taste and knowledge, so feel free to let me know if you think I missed any artists!

Riddle Rosehearts

You can't convince me his mom wasn't constantly playing classical music for him when he was growing up. I honestly think he still defaults to classical music, especially to improve his focus while reading or studying.

I also think Cater has definitely exposed him to a lot more modern music and, though he is undoubtedly very picky, there's even some of it he likes.

Artists that come to mind for Riddle include Vivaldi, Tchaikovsky, Red Velvet, and Mitski.

Leona Kingscholar

For the most part, I'd imagine Leona mostly listens to pretty chill music that's easy to nap to, like R&B or soft rock.

That's not to say he doesn't actively enjoy listening to music though. If he's in the mood to jam, I could see him turning on some hip-hop or even some angry punk music.

Artists that come to mind for Leona include Lil Nas X, Gorillaz, Gym Class Heroes, and The Weeknd.

Azul Ashengrotto

Lounge music feels like the easy answer here. Lots of smooth jazz and easy listening.

However, I also can't resist suggesting that Azul might have a secret fondness for electro-swing that he keeps secret due to the genre's reputation for being considered "cringe".

Artists that come to mind for Azul include Frank Sinatra, Kenny G, Michael Bublé, and Caravan Palace.

Kalim Al-Asim

Kalim strikes me as one of those guys that would say that he likes every genre of music, only he would actually mean every genre- rap and country included.

That being said, his preference definitely skews heavily in the direction of songs that he can dance to. Bonus points if the composition and instrumentation have a clear Scalding Sands influence.

Artists that come to mind for Kalim include Cascada, Saint Levant, Shakira, and Christina Aguilera.

Vil Schoenheit

For Vil, my brain immediately jumps to all the gayest, poppiest, cunt-serviest stuff I can think of. Imagine every song you and your friends might put on a playlist for pride with some sad girl music sprinkled in for flavor.

Being in Film Studies Club, I'd also imagine he spends a decent amount of time listening to and analyzing movie soundtracks, though whether this counts as part of his "music taste" is up for debate.

Artists that come to mind for Vil include Lady Gaga, Todrick Hall, Britney Spears, and MARINA.

Idia Shroud

This bitch's playlists are absolutely filled with Vocaloid songs, nightcore remixes, anime openings, and video game soundtracks. She is an absolute fucking nerd and I know her music taste reflects this. Let's not forget she is canonically an idol stan.

As for "normal" music, I think they probably listen to about what you'd expect- weird emo shit.

Artists that come to mind for Idia include My Chemical Romance, Utsu-P, Yasuharu Takanashi, and Will Wood.

Malleus Draconia

I genuinely don't even know where to start with Malleus. I feel like this guy listens to Gregorian chants and spooky Halloween sound effect compilations.

In all seriousness, I feel like Malleus would greatly enjoy pieces involving stringed instruments, seeing as he has a talent for playing them. The rest of his music taste probably stems from whatever Lilia and the others have exposed him to, and so is likely very strange.

Artists that come to mind for Malleus include The Correspondents, Burn the Ballroom, Scissor Sisters, and Lindsey Stirling.

[chaisshitposts]

Hi chai hope your doing good sending this anonymously because my sister is following me here so;-) english is not my native language i am arab i hope there is no mistakes I am nervous because it is the first time I write a lot in English and also because this is the first ask I send to someone in this app. Please be patient with me if there are mistakes. Thank you.

I think this is a success story even tho i did'nt fully shift but i got into the void, i did psych-k for the past 4 days i did it when i woke up and when i went to sleep i listen to affirmations tape bc my english suck and it was so hard for me to pronounce words correctly and it was so cringe in arabi bc i don't talk like that lmao anyway whenever i imagine myself getting into the void i thought my first time would be in a lucid dream but my past self had this limited belief that i never lucid dream or even have dreams like all my dreams are just blank space and i wake up and remember nothing so she did'nt take it seriously and thought it was impossible but when i visualized in my psych-k Sessions it was always in a lucid dream so anyway when i fell a sleep last night i had this weird dream where i was in our old house and i was 12 again the whole dream i thought something was off and weird stuff would happen like there was a Rhinoceros (وحيد القرن) flying above our garden! but somehow i did'nt notice it was a dream until i saw my mom and she said hey darling how are you(اهلين حبيبتي كيف حالك) and i was like wtf that not my mom she never called my darling before (حبيبتي) 😭

Anways i ran so fast to my room and looked in the door and i visualized a portal and said it well get me to the void state and i did it and god it felt so good like i am just being without effort or negative thoughts with no hate or worrying i was just a free spirit full of love and happiness. It was a very pure state i sayed there for sometime but i am not sure bc time really did'nt seem real to me there, i did'nt shift which is sad bc that was my goal but i got into the void and now i am sure It’s real and i can do it again

Also i think i been in this state before it felt so familiar when i woke up that felling i had i knew very well like i just felt like i always got into that state but this my first time being aware while experience it so that was beautiful

Thank you for introducing me to this wonderful technique

شكرا لك من كل قلبي حبيبتي💞

Love you chai<3

first of all, your english is super good. second of all, holy crap, congratulations!!! I'm excited for you!!! the void is indeed a wonderful place to be in. lastly, thank you for not giving up on yourself, and good luck to you! I wish you nothing but greatness and prosperity. 🕵️

[auncyen]

I have no idea where this goes in the ISAT dc and I need to get it out of my brain so I'm lobbing it here

I wanna make this into fic form but basically initial meeting Isabeau actually being STARRY-EYED about Siffrin. That crush came fast. Like, Isabeau left the Defenders because they wouldn't help Mirabelle and here Siffrin saw three people fighting a strong Sadness and was like "here I am!" Fighting for Vaugarde and they're not even from there. Isabeau asks where they're originally from because the clothes intrigue him and Siffrin says "nowhere in particular", they've been traveling so long they don't really consider anywhere their home, and that's like. WOW that's so cool, because while Isabeau might know they're older he doesn't think they're that much older and like. How badass is that. Just striking out on your own, surviving on your own, living free as a bird and unafraid to be quirky. It took Isabeau a long time to get to being confident and Siffrin seems so nonchalant. Sure, Isabeau is aware Siffrin's not perfect, has some shortcomings in the memory and like. communication department, but who's perfect anyway?

By the time the party reaches Dormont Isabeau is deep in that crush. He's also been paying attention to Siffrin enough to notice that like, huh, sometimes Siffrin being nonchalant kind of seems. avoidant. And sometimes he's a little worried that Siffrin took losing an eye too well, like it didn't matter? I mean he's glad they're not holding it against Bonnie or anything, but... it's just little things. He wonders what they plan on doing after the journey.

Two extremely weird days later.

And then maybe some additional explanation from Siffrin, over time, about what was going on. How he got to that point.

Isabeau is cringing at how he first interpreted Siffrin. Not because they aren't amazing! They're incredible. He just wishes he'd realized before that Siffrin wasn't strong because they struck out on their own and did their own thing, Siffrin was strong because they were surviving being cast out into a foreign world with no memory of the past and ongoing memory problems and Change, if he'd just been bold enough before to tell Siffrin he wanted to still be with them after the journey. He knows he shouldn't beat himself up about it but sometimes he thinks maybe it would have avoided the whole problem in the first place, maybe Siffrin would have looped until they got to the Head Housemaiden but then felt safe enough to end looping there if they'd already had a promise of a future. Or maybe they would have told him about the looping like. Isabeau can't imagine it would have been right away, maybe it would have taken a few loops, but at some point before having a mental breakdown

Basically I just like the idea of Isabeau having a very starry-eyed first impression of Siffrin and then post-game looking at that and being like "well I was right to love them, but wow did I miss. A lot of That."

[momo-shut-the-fuck-up]

So i ve done the main story in infinity nikki and im gonna stop playin now, before i squeeze the game dry of content and have nothing (new) to do on release.

Time for a lil review/thoughts post

I m not gonna review every single mechanic in the game, simply things that stood out to me or that i wanna talk about. I also wont add more images, i kinda want ppl to see the world for themselves... i ll share more when the game comes out tho.

There s a lot of text under this. Tldr, i like the game i think it's a solid, enjoyable experience with a good gameplay loop, the story isn't for me, and i'll keep playin of course. And u should try it too if ur device wont blow itself up tryin to run it.

Dress up

The bread and butter of Nikki games... it's good as usual. Game doesn't shy away from long skirts or coat tails or complicated ballgowns just cuz nikki can run and jump and dash now and i'm very happy bout that. There's some clipping issues once in a while, but it's nothing major and the clothes we do have in the game are lovely. There s an evolution system for some of the sets, which makes em a diff color.... usually they can evolve once, but i saw Three extra evolutions for one of the UR sets and that scares me. Bcs to evolve them u have to craft the suit again. So u have to pull 4 copies of a suit to max it out..

Combat

Game's definitely succeeding in its quest for being cozy. There's no real stakes, combat isn't difficult in the slightest but i do welcome it- super simple but it's pretty fun regardless. The boss fights were surprisingly creative and fun for what they are, it's just unfortunate that you have to do them more than once or twice (crafting mats)- but they do change what the boss does so it's different depending on what mat u are farming for... and u can claim double or triple or however much stamina u got-le of the mat after u complete it once. So that s rly nice.

Exploration

I actually think it's really really good. Again this isn't a difficult or complicated game, not yet i guess... but with the major goal being "get new clothes" and "take pretty pictures maybe", the open world feels actively engaging to participate in. There's collectibles everywhere, little challenges you can do that are diverse but quick, styling battles, collecting everythin from animals fur to bugs to fish, and allll of this brings u closer to that never ending goal of woo more clothes.

However even if a challenge doesnt give you a blueprint, it's still just. Really Nice to exist in this world. It's very whimsical, as expected of Lilith, and the world has a combination of realism and cartoon artstyle that is just soso appealing to me. It's genuinely how i would've imagined miraland to look in 3d. Shame it's not the same miraland we know..

Story

Hmm... silly is one word i could use for it. Cute also. The story isn't doin anythin bad per se, and i did start skippin dialogue near the end w the pieceys because i want to keep at least Some part of the story for the game's release... but i get the gist of it, and it s just not my thing.

It feels like a story made for children, and it definitely would get a G rating. Easy and simple to follow, there's moments of tension or sadness sure but with the antagonist bein a literal babie lookin cutey fairy with a grown man's voice, or the creatures that i'm interacting with are a bunch of. Fuckin weird lookin big eyed balls of fabric that look closer to plushies than somethin Alive... it's all so silly and dramatic sometimes i can t help but cringe.

Part of it is a me problem, if u just open ur heart and free urself from the cringe the story is fine. It's just a little too kiddy for me and i so desperately hope it won't stay like this forever. My prayers might be answered though, there's a whole war beyond the borders and we have refugees around... shit's lookin bad for Umbrosa.

Other things i noticed that i liked:

The effect on nikki's skin when it's raining, she actually has water dripping down her face... its so cool

Momo capes are actually kinda neat ngl. Especially cuz the fucker follows u around everywhere, at least i can bedazzle him

Npc models look really good im a fan. They do suffer from "everyone is very beautiful" syndrome, which makes some of the npc villains look/sound ridiculous, but they have kid-teen-adult-elderly versions of models (i never see teen models in these games! Its cool!) And some body variation. The grandmas look so lovely i cry

The dark skin tone is really dark, and it looks quite nice and natural.

The lighting engine in this game is just rly good in general. God bless UE5

The edges of the map where there s forest, which u obv cant go thru, the forest is made to be darker, thicker.... i m a huge fan of this idk y. It's not just *invisible wall in front of an open field* nopee cant go there lets explore that area later tee hee. And it looks good to boot.

Camera function is p robust, has more options for changin brightness/saturation/contrast etc which i feel Shining Nikki lacks.

Some of the creature designs are so good man i looove themm <3.... the pieces are awful tho. Ok creature design is a hit and miss sometimes but the stray hatty? Peak. All the weirdy fashionable animals? Peak.

Bein able to quick switch thru ur saved sets while in the overworld is real neat

Oke that was it. Bye

[nalyra-dreaming]

I’m finding the Rockstar Lestat discussion interesting! Partly that people are saying it would be cringe if set now… as if ‘80’s rock isn’t the cheesiest of all! 😋

Personally, I think Lestat can be a rock star in 2022 (or 2024/5/6 by the time we get to it.)

He only has to do one concert in the end & he isn’t eternally famous or The Most Famous person on the planet. Everyone (human) soon forgets him afterwards… he just has to be famous enough to get a few thousand bodies in a room (a fair amount of them vampires who’ll be there anyway already!) & to make songs/music that would awaken Akasha.

And I think the fact that music stardom is a lesser thing nowadays in a way is a bonus, because while in an era with very defined popular style there are constraints on the musical possibilities that would work, nowadays I think it is totally free so that Lestat could have wondrously weird music… it has to have something vampiric & gothic & rock-based, but I think something really out-there & unusual & unlike any band that exists is better myself, as as well as words relating to Those who must be Kept, the music can be unique enough that it truly would awaken Akasha as she’d never have heard the like before! I want rock violin & rock HARPSICHORD in there myself. And heaviness, yet also influences from the eighteenth century & New Orleans jazz in there! And already Sam has such a unique voice to add to this all!

Yeah, personally I’m really excited by the idea of rock star Lestat!

Book-canonically I can’t imagine Lestat having social media skills, though he’d surely enjoy the popularity! But it’d be so the antithesis of Gothic Romance, I think to go down a more 2020’s fame route would be really sad & disappointing. Also you have Sam’s voice & performance skills to USE! And Lestat’s theatre & music experience & importance to his existence!

I trail off… this isn’t even a question! 😂🤣💀

Anything involving Sam, singing, and performance is going to be fine with me, tbh. 🤪

But yes… glam rock and mesh shirts and leather pants… would definitely be a bonus, ahem 😈

But yes, Lestat was pretty much a one-hit-wonder. IF it happened yet then Akasha didn’t rise…. yet.

Sooooooo. Whatever way they’ll do it - I just hope it will be glorious 🤓 And they are so free for the style!!! I would absolutely adore goth metal and something like Nightwish could fit very well, too, imho.

[swordfright]

do you have any c!awesamdream fics recomendations?

Honestly, I don’t have a ton of recs. c!awesamdream fic is mysteriously hard to find, and I also wouldn’t want to recommend you anything super E-rated in case that’s not your jam. Personally I’ve had more success searching the Sam & Dream gen relationship tag than the slash tag. That said, here are my no-brainer recs, most are gen with some exceptions:

inosculation by @theminecraftbox - canon compliant, reflection on how their relationship progresses during the prison arc, how c!sam’s authoritarian tendencies bloom in pandora, and the weird symbiosis he and dream achieve. technically not a slash fic but like it is To Me!!

saltwater on rock by @elmhat - also not technically a slash fic but it is a fun exploration of their relationship post-prison: who are they to each other, now that they aren’t prisoner and warden? what power has dream reclaimed, what power has sam ceded? or is it the other way around? fun stuff.

the trees deny themselves nothing by @lookinghalfacorpse - if you’re asking for recs you’ve probably already read this one (it’s basically THE awesamdream fic at this point) but i think it lends itself to re-readability! and if you haven’t read it: dream loses his leg in pandora, phil n techno conscript sam to make him a new one after the jailbreak, things get interesting. OP also wrote a post-fic oneshot which you can read here.

everlasting evermore by @elmhat - incomplete atm and also not slash but definitely awesamdream vibes. sam is a sad widower king who interrogates dream in his dungeon so it scratches the fantasy itch. this fic does some cool things with the cloning lab lore and i’m really excited to see where it goes!

21 steps in the desert by @airrec - banger. it's short so i won't describe it in detail. banger tho!

scream eureka by @cgogs - basically a post-canon domestic horror fic, sam and dream are married (with a kid on the way) but neither of them is able to move on from pandora. this fic deals with issues of bodily autonomy very well and it’s also refreshing to see trans pregnancy handled with tact, rather than treated like a fetish or a joke. IIRC this fic is an AU of an AU so be warned, it does come with like 30 pages of background lore which isn't necessary to understand the fic but does make it easier to follow.

all these lives by @lookinghalfacorpse - reincarnation drabble, plays with sam’s obsession in fun ways. not really sure how else to describe this one but i reread it sometimes! it’s good!

you don't have to be like that by @dr3amofagame - incomplete, i haven't reread this one in a while but i remember enjoying it at lot! dream gives sam the book in a moment of desperation and then has to navigate the fallout.

accident by @airrec - another fave. concise, fucked up, and very well written.

i’ve also been working on a multichap awesamdream fic (am i allowed to rec my own fics??? is that too cringe??) that’s gonna be wrapping up soon. pandora's vault gains sentience, that's the whole plot. like most of the other works on this list, it’s not technically ship fic but it is very much about sam and dream’s...situation. full warning tho, it’s long and rambly and weird, sorry for that!

i also wanna add that pretty much any fic that explores the scrapped lore is gonna have to deal with awesamdreamisms by necessity, owing to the nature of, well, the lore. there's a decent amount of fics about it, here's one that I found recently and enjoyed a lot.

Have fun, mind the tags. And if you find more then by all means, feel free to add to this post! I know there's a lot of tumblr-exclusive content floating around out there that can be harder to find than stuff on AO3.

Also, it's worth mentioning that some of the most compelling c!awesamdream content I've read were brief interludes in fics about much broader subjects in the fandom; I've read a lot of great c!awesamdream moments in c!rivals fics, prison trio fics, c!dnf fics, etc. So my advice is to cast your net wide, if that makes sense? Happy reading!

[imtrashraccoon]

Bit of a vent, feel free to keep scrolling.

About two weeks ago, I came to the realization that I don't have the motivation to finish The Hand We've Been Dealt and I hate it. It's been a year since I wrote anything for it and the place where the story is, isn't something I'm happy with but I don't want to try fixing it. I put over a year of my life into it before attempting to post it online and at the time I thought it would be the first fanfiction I'd ever finished. I've learned a lot about structuring a story this year and I wish I had known this before.

I could restructure the story or completely rewrite it but I have so many other projects that I'd enjoy more. It's also a remnant of my old Undertale Multiverse I had created before I joined Tumblr. Most of this I've never posted anywhere and in my opinion it's too cringe to even bother doing. In a way, I'd like to retire it and move on to my new multiverse that I've been building.

Maybe one day I'll write a fic with a skeleton MC or rework the story like I am planning to do with my first ever Undertale fic. I know I'll feel better with it not being one other thing to complete but it's still sad. So, while I doubt any of you are following me because of it, this is me officially concluding that fic. I'll post the remaining chapters to my AO3 and write up a brief epilogue before marking it complete.

If you read this far, I applaud you. I'm only posting this because I needed to get it off my chest but also, I may have randomly gotten inspiration for a writing request one of you sent me. Is it weird that I'm debating "killing off" the main characters of The Hand We've Been Dealt and having their (eventual) daughter survive them? It feels edgy for no reason to me and I may end up changing my mind.

[dakotac0le]

Should I start listening to jrwi?/gen if so where should I start ?

OH YOOO !!!! I mean yes absoutlyllly jrwi r the silliests ever absoulslty. i started watching and now my brain hurts forever an di have been cursed. Join me dear mutual . Where to start uHHH perosnally id recomend blood in the bayou (bitb) cause rhats the shortest campaign (4 eps) and easily digestable. thr first ep is up on thier yourube and the rest is paywalled by patreon for 5 bucks a month but . Theres always other options . Wink wink nudge nudge to be noted abt bitb tho : Deffo got a lot of horror gore fuckery and drug usage jsut ^^ heads up and whatnot

annother one that exists is the sucking and i have no feelings abt it whatsoever. Or about aurthur bennet resident loser or about shilo residnt loser or about emizel resisdnt badass losser. I love them all so bad and the npcs r . Iconic. So iconic. This is the vampire campaign !!!!! Its peak sillysims ( and also quite a lot of horror esque elements here its the vampire campaign so also blood and gore and whatnot ykyk) The first 5 eps r up on yt for free and the rest r on patreon and theres no other way to watch it at all whatsoverr

BUT !!! If u dont vibe w wiether of those or horror is not ur speed theres a v swag campaign currently running (3 eps in and next ep come sout this sayurday !!) called Wonderlust highly recomend theres a gay frat boy , weird autistic rat and Blink (loser) (affectionite) . Its up on youthbe on thier chanel for free and its very funky fresh UHHHH theres also riptide !! The big one . tbh i havent ever watched it all the way thro cause theres sm eps and its veyr intimidating bUT i hear great things and ep 114 is sick as fuck to watch even w out the larger campign (same w ep 52 and 53) basiscally weird found family pirates love whatver theyve got going on AND that campaign is compeltly free up on thier yoruube

and the one u have probaly seen rbed the most by me is apothieosis aka weird gods lore . religion . canon gay sex . miserable robots. Like . Neon evangelion but WORSE !! (Patreon exclusive but not nessaraly :3) this is proably my favorite campaign its jsut. Brain altered .

AND THE OTHER one that i am normal abt and doesnt . Kill u . Dead. is prime defenders !!! Akaa !!! The one im veye nromal abt !!!!! normalll !!!!! This ones . Ahhhhhh uh hard to get into potentially erm . Theyre quite cringe but take my hand dearest mutual thecringe is apart of it they r cringe loser teenage superheros trying thier best. It also goes from cringe lighthearted cartoon physics to AH FUCK verrry fast and suddenly everything is . Bad. IF u like superheros or discussions on morality of kilkign people or father figures or being . Very . Very sad. I cant recomend enough !!!!!!! I mean i dont and dont watch this this one hurts physically and mentally and spirtually and bibblically and. GRRRR (this ones also technically patreon exclusive)

If u enjoy absousllty any of this i do recomend joining patreon if u have the ablity cause theres a loot of sick stuff up there including a mini campaign called tmk im v obbsesed w . And unforutnalty idk how to pirate thta uhhHh the world of tmk is slowly worming its way up to being one my faves tho and the story is great so !! Yk !!!