#weekly rant

[quartz-clusters]

Do you ever envy who you used to be?

While to many it is their body, their beauty

And I am no different from the masses

Do others ever envy their mind?

I used to be a poet, an artist

Spinning painting of words and stories of many

I used to live and desire

Consumed by a want, no a need

Create, passion for the doing.

What does one do when they lose all they once were

Burnt to a:

a crisp is too much to compared to what is left of me.

Depression and me are synonymous beings

Born in the same breath

I wish to be consumed by the madness once again

A lust for thought and desire to speak

Consume me and eat my soul

I am not a being pure

I always did say I wouldn’t live past 25

Is this it then? A life of a walking corpse

To feed, to clean, sleep and sustain my passive existence

Passivity is a pain oh so torturous

There is where I find myself in madness.

Cannot consume or be consumed

I do not eat or serve myself on a platter

There is no delicious feast of me

But let me be thy sustenance

as you feed me life

I will not bare my teeth

I shall not growl

Let me consume

[hairbrainedmolecules]

Weekly rant: someone commented on one of my fics and I’m pissed (I sound like a bitch, but I’m being honest)

I had someone comment on a fic something to the effect of “I wouldn’t have written X-character this way, next time you should…”

First off. Bitch. This fic is not for you. I post it so I can share it with others who might want to read the same thing I do (and so I can read my fics on my phone). That’s a privilege, you’re welcome.

If you don’t like it don’t read it. It is a waste of your time which becomes a waste of my time when you complain. I will not hesitate to not approve a comment if it is too rude or pisses me off.

I always make sure to tag pretty well (not a million, there is no need for that many tags unless is a compilation of one shots). If you miss a tag, don’t tell me, that’s on you. If you think one is needed, I’ll re-read my fic and see if it’s needed. No, I will not add a smut tag (bdsm/fetish always tagged) if it’s explicit. if violence or gore is not a tag and you can’t figure out what it could be, maybe you shouldn’t be reading my stuff.

For me, fanfics are a way for me to write down the ideas that have been running through my head. I plan these elaborate fics all day/night and only about 30% of those ever get written down somewhere (quote, summary, main theme, etc.) and about 2% of those will see the light of the internet.

If you go into a fic expecting it to be 100% your vision, write your own. If you can’t find a fic that has exactly what you want, write your own. That’s why I post. So that I can read them myself later and smile because I finally have a perfect fic.

Fanfic/fandom has been part of my life for about 15 years. I have been writing stories since I could write. I am in no ways perfect. I just want to share my little stories with people to show them different perspectives and possibilities. I am not planning on stopping or changing the way I do things.

TLDR: My fanfics are for me. Not you. I share them because I want to. Not for you to be a dick. There are bigger issues in the world than me writing the same people fucking again and again with my headcanons.

Thank you.

Points for reading till the end.

It’s three am

[lotus-lamps]

tysm the weekly light for giving me motivation to draw LMAO

a lil messy but thats ok. it was a lot of fun so thats all that matters haha (I LOVE RENDERING AND DO THE LIGHTING AND ALL THAT SHIT ITS SO FUN) rip mothy gilbert also had too much fun ig lmao

[can-of-w0rmz]

My thoughts on Frankenstein can basically be summed up in, “Victor is a dickhead but at least he’s not an incel,” and “The Creature is a dickhead but at least he’s not a rich prick”.

To this day “ermmm Victor/Creature is the innocent guy and (X other character) is the bad guy achtually 🤓☝️” takes make me so fucking mad. THEY BOTH SUCK, AND THEYRE BOTH STILL SYMPATHETIC PROTAGONISTS. THATS THE POINT OF THE FUCKING BOOK😭

Also people who think Victor was the bad guy for refusing to make the Bride and going “huh, maybe making a creature for the sole purpose of suffering and fucking you is really fucked up and not my place at all actually?” legitimately need their fucking heads checked because do you genuinely have zero reading comprehension or life experience??? Can you read a book? Can you understand basic themes and concepts? Are you actually stupid?

Victor is a terrible guy for being self absorbed enough to cheat God and nature itself, creating a being that was never meant to be born and inflicting immense suffering on it by the nature of it existing in a way that fundamentally can not be balanced out — following the Christian influences and background in which the novel was written at the time, Victor is not God, he can’t offer the creature salvation or in any way metaphysically balance out his suffering, so he just introduces him to a life of a living hell by his own design and by the nature of the fact that Victor is just a man, and the Creature himself is terrible because the nihilism inherent to his condition as Victor’s creation turns him into a murderous incel who wants to just further the suffering Victor caused, because if he can’t be happy, nobody should, so he kills every innocent bystander who Victor loved and demands that he makes him a woman like Eve who’s equal to him in suffering, who exists for the sole purpose of being his, who was created to be his.

And Victor says no, because he has actual character development and realises it isn’t his place (also, very likely mirroring his engagement to Elizabeth if you kinda follow the same reading as me that Victor never really loved her romantically and felt forced into the marriage because of his mother), which, shock horror, makes Victor a more likeable protagonist, because again, shockingly, he’s actually a pretty good guy in this one situation making a really good moral decision for once by saying “yeah I’m not going to create a woman whose sole purpose in life is to fuck you and suffer as much as you, also what if she doesn’t want to fuck you???”

Are people allergic to the concept of character development or something?? Are people allergic to multifaceted complex characters?? You feel terrible for the creature because of what Victor has done to him by bringing him into existence, and you feel terrible for Victor because of how doomed he is (in the worst way, it’s not just him suffering, he has to watch everyone he loves being forced to suffer because of him) by his one mistake and how he doesn’t have any way to fix it. A creation with no God, and a Man with the weight of God upon him because of his own mistake. They’re both doomed. That’s why it’s so good, THE BOOK IS A FUCKING TRAGEDY WHY IS THIS SO DIFFICULT FOR SOME PEOPLE TO GRASP???😭

[kayatoastkkat]

OWW. HYDE. HYDE NOOOO

THE SCRATCHES OMG THE LOOK ON HIS FACE THE REALISATION BEHIND THAT LITTLE “no”

THE WIP SKETCH!!!! IT'S HERE IT'S HERE IT'S FINALLY HERE BUT AT WHAT COST

"I didn't mean to" OUCH???? Jekyll you better come back up RIGHT FUCKING NOW PLEASE TELL HYDE THAT WAS ALL /J PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE-

"I'll fix it, I'll put you back together" Hyde says, after shattering all of Jekyll's reputation to pieces, saying he'll fix all the damage he made. also the SYMBOLISM in his face reflected in the glass??? broken in two pieces and still no Jekyll??? ow??

hey guys. uhm. uhm. correct me if I'm wrong but I don't think you can. fix a shattered glass once it breaks. what does this mean

this whole scene?????? the moment Hyde realised he hated the silence more than any horrid insult Jekyll could throw at him?? the way he'd give anything, do anything, just to hear his other half's voice again and oh ow. oh. I think i need a moment.

I think it was a favourite taunt of Hyde's to mock Jekyll for being an empty shell, for showing no emotion underneath that shiny facade that is his smile. that underneath his perfect gentlemany suit there is not a heartbeat there.

however I believe Hyde is as much of an empty shell as Jekyll is, albeit one built out of Jekyll's discarded emotions. he's just a pile of unrepressed emotions that grew out flesh and blood. he has nothing that he can call truly his, not his memories, his family, his Identity. it was all built around Jekyll, and without Jekyll he is just a shell of who he once was, so in this essay i will-

[omensofatimelord]

The thing about testosterone being a controlled substance means that acess to it for hrt is restricted. While it makes access a significant issue for many people and an easy and effective way to prevent trans men and mascs from transitioning (as we've seen terfs campaign for and succeed at doing in Britain) it also means that is very easy for health care professionals to be able to take it away from trans men/mascs arbitrarily. This is most aborant in cases where trans men/mascs are forced to detransition to gain access to abortions after being raped. However, the first sign of an issues tangentially related to hormones a gp, without any training in trans people or hormones, can and will stop a person's testosterone. Apart from how stressful it is to know that for the rest of your life you'll be dependent on the goodwill of a random person, this has measurable negative consequences for a trans person subjected too it.

Going off t fucking sucks at the best of time, but being forced off t will most likely result in depression and worsening mental health for a trans man/masc, who are already one of the most likely groups to attempt suicide. It can also put a trans person at risk if they suddenly start being visibly trans again, especially if they're closeted in, say, a work place environment. Trans people, including trans men, are already one of the most targeted groups of harassment and violence and sexual assalt and forcibly reducing or stopping t can out people and risk their safety. And a gp won't see this or care about this, or attempt to treat a trans man/masc first or ask for their opinion or situation.

Ultimately, testosterone is seen as entirely optional and so the first resort when something goes wrong it to take it away, when it should be considered the last resort, and is considered the last resort for cis men. And as long as testosterone continues to be a controlled substance it will remain like this.

(edit for clarification: I am a kiwi, this post was intended as a general critique of accessing t through health care systems - based in my lived experience in NZ and what ive heard from international trans ppl; including but not limited to the USA)

[abattre]

You know,, if the story was told from Sasuke's point of view literally nobody would actually expect or want him to return to the village. And like, I get why it's a touchy thing for a lot of Naruto fans. The circumstances for Sasuke's departure and the entire Valley of the End fight were upsetting. Bad time all around, yes, but that doesn't mean leaving Konoha was the wrong choice for Sasuke to make. Avenging the clan was like the only thing keeping him alive at that point, so expecting Sasuke to just sit back and let the Curse Mark slowly kill him without having achieved any sort of justice for his family is ludicrous actually. But besides that, learning the truth about the Uchiha's genocide is like the ultimate determinant that Sasuke has no obligation to the village whatsoever. Like at some point, no matter how much you dislike or resent him as a character, you have to realise that everything Konoha did to Sasuke and the rest of his family was absolutely despicable and he genuinely does not owe that place anything.

[bootlegramdomneess]

Thinking about how every time Jeremy and Ayo talk about Sydney and Carmy's relationship they give us this bland ass explanation of their dynamic. "oh they respect each other. it's all about respect. It's not romantic." Like...sure

The agony between these two. you don't have this much tension and unsaid words unless it is someone you have romantic feelings for. I don't care what anyone says. They're awkward but they didn't have a lot of trouble communicating their thoughts and feelings compared from season 1 to 2 and now..something has shifted from season 2 to now in a short fucking amount of time.

you mean to tell me, the writers created such a beautifully poetic and complex show about love and legacy and connection and romance. it's a show about romance. IT'S A SHOW ABOUT ROMANCE.

YOU CAN'T SIT UP THERE AND TELL ME OTHERWISE. YOU CANNOT SAY THESE TWO SIMPLY RESPECT EACH OTHER. CARMY HAS NOT SAID THIS TO ANYONE ELSE. HE IS NOT ONLY TALKING ABOUT THE KITCHEN, HE IS TALKING ABOUT LIFE IN GENERAL BECAUSE THE KITCHEN IS HIS LIFE.

oh yeah she's just his future because they are both passionate about cooking. WHEN THAT IS THE WHOLE FUCKING POINT. IT'S NOT THAT SIMPLISTIC. IT'S MORE THAN BEING PASSIONATE ABOUT THE COOKING. IT'S THE CONNECTION. THE FOOD IS THE CATALYST FOR AN UNSPOKEN LANGUAGE. STOP TRYING TO SIMPLIFY SHIT ON A SHOW THAT IS WHOLLY COMPLEX.

*taking a deep calming breath*

We are being shown something without words. We are being shown what is happening between these two from their pov.

[demonsandpieohmy]

I hope Neil gets his wish and they release Season 3 weekly (or at least in chunks) instead of all at once. There’s just such a specific experience of getting to digest episodes one at a time and giving them room to breathe. Especially since this is the last season, we may as well take the time to properly enjoy it.

[pyxes]

I hate to sound like an obnoxious grandmother, but the amount of people who have no clue how to sew a button is shocking and disappointing.

I could go on a long rant about capitalism and the mass extinction of practical skills. Or even the loss of said skills being viewed as “women’s work” which were demonized by both men and third wave buzzfeed feminists alike but I would never leave this draft. DO NOT get me started on both parties feeling entitled to your labor when they find out you have a semblance of knowledge.

What I’m saying is that I urge everyone to learn simple garment repair. It’s not expensive and it’s not hard no matter what asshole online tells you otherwise. It doesn’t even need to look nice. I am completely self taught and it all started when I wanted a lanyard that would match my greasy, pre-teen, vampirefreaks.com aesthetic. I made that shit out of left over Christmas ribbons, an old keychain, and rotted thread. And guess what, it was so badass that it inspired me to dig deeper into sewing and diy in general.

There is so much pride in taking care of what you own. What you own is meant to get beat up, so beat it up, fix it, then beat it up again. Your body grows, it shrinks, you expand out, you contract in… That’s how your body works. Deal with it you can’t prevent natural function. Instead of consuming on mass learn to adjust your clothing to your needs!!

I wish the world was more resourceful and considerate. Please if you read this consider messing around with a needle and thread. I am open to helping anyone if they have any questions. I have worked as a tailor and alterations specialist. I have worked on everything imaginable; men’s suits, patching jeans, adding gussets in jeans, gun holsters, chaps, wedding dresses, doll dresses, pants with literal shit, and yes, buttons.

Please hear my plea and discover a whole new world of a forgotten form of resistance to capitalism. Fight against mass consumerism. Pick up that pack of needles and tangled thread and sew something awful.

[mejomonster]

I am begging you, if your partner insults you, curses at you, screams at you, starts many conversations by accusing you of something (and if you two talk about this situation - you continue having arguments instead of just solving problems together), you feel in danger when near your partner, you feel safer when away from your partner, or your partner hits you, please please consider leaving them.

Just consider leaving the space they're in, and going to a friend's house or a family member's and staying for a day. Do you feel safer? Calmer?

You do not have to be friends with a person who disrespects or harasses you. You do not have to be friends with someone who hits you, who tells you you're stupid/ugly/annoying whatever, who screams at you when you spill food or forget to do the dishes instead of just asking "hey could you please clean this?", who doesn't accept a "no" from you such as "No I do not want to be touched right now." Please tell me you'd be kind enough to yourself to stop seeing a friend who hit you or told you you're worthless or screamed at you for not reading their mind (no one can read minds).

So if a partner does those things, you're allowed to stop seeing them too. You are allowed to love someone, to care about their wellbeing and want good things for them, and also REMOVE YOURSELF from their space and life. You're allowed to think "wow I love this guy, I am sad he's depressed, I hope he feels better" and also think "but he keeps calling me ugly and stupid, and every time I see him he insults me and screams and I get scared, I should stop visiting him and stop answering his calls and texts so I am no longer in situations where I could be insulted and screamed at." You are allowed to love someone, and ALSO protect yourself from them! You deserve to be safe! You deserve to protect yourself first, care about your own wellbeing first, care about if YOU are safe and content, even if it means upsetting someone else. Even if someone else would rather you were hurting, if it meant you kept seeing them.

You deserve to be respected. You deserve to be spoken to kindly, to feel you are safe from physical harm, to be talked to as a person with value. From strangers, friends, and lovers. If people are hurting you, if you feel worse being around them, you are ALLOWED to leave and put yourself in a place where you are no longer being hurt. You deserve to prioritize your own well being.

[triglycercule]

idea. since askdusttale answered an ask about where dust got his determination from (because dust has SOME determination just so he can remember the timelines and keep going against the human) and said it was totally up to personal interpretation on how he got his determination. so so so like what if what if dusttale's player did something similar to something new's player and changed dust's code to give him determination??? so dust and killer COULD BOTH had their codes tampered with??? the parallels would be INSANE. they both started off as sans and got their codes tampered with by the player but dust and killer went on two opposite paths. dust out of his own voalition decided to go against the human but killer had to team up with the human no choice at all. the opposite parallels go CRAZY oh god im tweaking

killer doesn't know exactly (since i forgot whether or not he can see codes or something like that. i swear there was an image of him describing fell and swap's code and then his own) but he can SENSE that something's off. something's different about dust that he doesn't quite know about. maybe it gets him to ask a bunch of questions that dust is definitely not open to answering because jesus man mind your own damn business but the question that really sets killer off is the way dust answers when he asks "so if you have determination then how did you get it?" and dust just shrugs his shoulders and said that one day he suddenly remembered the resets and then that's when he got it (and then goes back to mumbling to phantom paps or wtvr) and killer's just like. zomg. a sudden change in behavior or mentality that seemingly has no apparent reason related to the human???? like like like when he suddenly had to agree with the player despite literally never wanting to????? killer is over thinking the implications behind this

meanwhile dust is just annoyed now because killer keeps on following him. he keeps asking him strange questions. wtf why is the guy asking to see his SOUL that's incredibly personal???? he just wants to be left alone man he has no idea what's going on

[abilai]

Fem hthm!!!!

[imminent-danger-came]

If I think about this end credit art too hard I explode

[rayssion]

Percy: how's the food?

Annabeth: it's great! Send compliments to the chef!

Percy: okay.

Percy: goes to the kitchen.

Percy: you have beautiful eyes.

Nico, blushing: thanks.