#week 8 reading

[hoshiina]

pairing: hoshina soushirou x short!gn!reader (no prns)

request: i’m loving your works omgg sooo i have a request for vice captain hoshina! can you do one where soshiro and reader are holding a training session together and they’re sparring rookies and they’re both just staring at each other cause damn why’s my s/o so fine while fighting? fem reader who’s a captain or higher rank would be so cool hehealso bonus points if the rookies ask soshiro and reader to spar against each other and they do! 

warnings: rather small and short reader, i had written it with a fem reader in mind like you had mentioned but i realized there were no actual fem terms used (or prns) so i tagged it as gn! however the reader is described to be rather short with a small build, TYSM FOR THE REQ !! so sorry it took so long to get to !!!!

wc: 1300

It wasn’t like Hoshina to space out during work, but he knew this would happen the moment they assigned the two of you to help with sparring trainings together. Watching you spar, he just wasn’t able to take his eyes off of you— it was truly beyond his control, unfortunately.

“Uh, Vice-Captain,” the next one in line said, trying to get his attention. It was Iharu.

“Oh, sorry,” he said, snapping out of it finally and focusing on the officer in front of him. “Alright, whenever you're ready.”

Now, once he had started sparring, his full attention was on his opponent. He would never spar with anyone distracted if they wished for it to be serious— not even a kid. He'd move quickly and swiftly, precisely hitting Iharu wherever he showed any openings. When Hoshina sparred, it was usually over before the opponent knew it. Iharu would be on the ground and Hoshina would have his arm by his neck to show what would've happened if he had a sword. It was beautiful, to say the least.

Iharu’s eyes were wide in shock— he knew Hoshina was strong, but he thought he'd be able to do a little more.

“Iharu, you need to calm down a little more,” he said.

“I know, I need to think a few steps further and I just—,” he started to explain.

“No, I can tell you're trying to think ahead. However, you're stressing out over that way too much. I’m sure you're trying not to move only by instinct, which is definitely a good idea, but sometimes I think you can trust your gut a little. Calm down, I'll guide you a little more next round,” he said.

“Thank you,” Iharu said, grateful of the feedback and quickly moved to the back of the line again.

Now, his eyes were on you again. They always were. You were going against Aoi, and it was truly a sight to see. You weren't all that tall, rather short if anything compared to all these tall men, and definitely far shorter than Aoi, but that wasn't going to hold you back. Not one bit.

The way you'd move swiftly but confidently always made him beam. It wasn't like you were doing anything flashy, or insane, it was just every move you did had a purpose. With absolutely no unnecessary movements, your every move was precise.

It was rather obvious that Aoi had subconsciously let his guard down from the difference in your builds, even if he didn't mean to at all. Though that only lasted a few seconds. Immediately, he knew you were leagues above him. You'd observe so carefully— predicting his next move, watching for cues, reacting on time. There was so much thinking you did while you sparred, but it worked so well for you, and when you succeeded in such a method, it truly looked like magic from afar. Quick and precise dodges, a jab in the slightest opening, a swift hit where it was least unexpected (or rather, seemed impossible for do).

And Hoshina loved watching you spar. Because you looked so thrilled doing so. You seemed to be having just as much fun as he was excited to watch you fight. Of course, he loved the pure skill in your craft that you had acquired through loads and loads of effort, but he loved how you looked so excited sparring someone new. How you jumped around in seemingly glee and not just the calculated steps you made. 

You were so attractive when you sparred, he was afraid all these new officers would fall for you after this.

Your sparring with Aoi was over soon enough, and he finally realized how long he was spaced out for.

“Sorry, I'll get it together,” he said to the next officer in line, but they were all looking at your match too. Just watching.

Perhaps it was mesmerising to see someone with a smaller build show absolutely no disadvantages you faced, even if there probably were many. Or rather, inspiring, might be the word.

“It feels like I watched a magic show on one end,” Reno said to Hoshina. He was next.

“Doesn’t it?” Hoshina replied, rather smug, which perplexed Reno.

“Entranced by me, over there?” you teased from the lack of, well, sparring happening in Hoshina’s line.

“Bullseye, I fear,” Hoshina replied, to which you blushed a little. He wasn't one to reply so genuinely with so many people around.

“Oh, shut up, get to work,” you said, immediately feeling slightly flustered. “Next!”

“Is that how you talk to your Vice-Captain, Platoon Leader (L/n)?” he asked and you jutted your lips out in frustration. So now you were Platoon Leader (L/n).

“Apologies, Vice-captain,” you said.

“Hmm… what should I make you do,” he pondered out loud. You didn't think he'd actually make you do something. “You should spar with me.”

You blinked. “You could just ask normally, you know?”

“Shut up, you're no fun,” he said.

“Alright, I'll spar you later,” you said.

“Woo-hoo!” he said and that made you laugh. You were feeling rather ‘woo-hoo!’ about sparring him too. It's been a while since you had done so.

He was actually far more excited than he'd like to admit. If there was one thing he enjoyed more than watching you spar, it definitely had to be sparring against you. As soon as the training was complete and everyone had the advice they needed, it was finally time for you.

“Would it be okay if I watched?” Reno asked, and you grinned.

“Absolutely,” you said. “Make sure you go spread around that I absolutely beat his ass later.”

“Beat who now?” Hoshina asked, but you just smiled.

After all this time working and sparring with him, you had only actually beat him once. Perhaps today would be your second.

“Whenever you're ready,” he said and you sneered. You got the first move. You stayed low, keeping yourself small. Hoshina specialized in going against smaller kaiju, but they were all still larger than him. Even when he sparred, he wasn't the tallest nor the largest, so it wasn't often he sparred with someone smaller than him.

After a few seconds you jumped right back. You remembered to breathe. Hoshina was a horrible opponent for you because you centered your moves on openings you could observe, but Hoshina hardly had any openings to begin with, and the ones he did have were far too fast to deal with. You'd have to focus more than ever. You took another deep breath again.

“Okay, I'll go ahead then,” he said. You had to force yourself to relax. It was just human instinct to stiffen at the sight of him coming at you. Relax, but stay focused.

He knew you'd stay low so he kept his body rather low too, but everything was terrifyingly fast. However, as time went on you found yourself focusing better and finally you managed to land a hit on him. You both took a step back, catching the breath you didn't realize you had lost.

Again, without a word, the two of you started to spar again. This went on and on until finally your knees hit the floor and you didn't seem to have the strength to stand.

“Ugh,” you said, frustrated. You flopped onto the floor and lied down, the exhaustion immediately catching up to you.

There were still a few around who had stayed to watch, but it was as if he didn't remember. Or didn't care.

“Love,” he said, crouching down by your side to face you. His eyes were wide and he had a smile he couldn't hide. He looked absolutely in love with you, to which you had to blush at. “Wanna go again?”

You laughed. You could hardly even stand.

“Absolutely.”

[surreal-duck]

live drama adaptations part 2 (prev)

cast reveal and girls movie night 🔥

[literallyjusttoa]

Realized I've barely talked about like, any characters in the riordanverse other than Apollo and Meg, so here's a list of my top ten riordanverse characters in order.

Apollo

Meg

Jason

Annabeth

Leo

Grover

Thalia

Commodus

Hazel

Octavian

I am very biased in some regards lol. If y'all want some general hot takes send me an ask I feel like being kooky and crazy today lmao

[collegeboysam]

So, rewatching armandaniel scenes til the finale drops, I randomly noticed that when Armand apologizes to Daniel about them bringing up Alice rejecting his marriage proposal, he basically tells Daniel "Louis shouldn't have done that". As if only Louis went into his memories and read his mind.

Does that mean Armand didn't? I always thought this was him reading Daniel's mind, since he's the one who notices and brings it up first:

If he wasn't reading his mind, then how did Armand know Daniel was thinking of his own bad memories of France in that moment instead of Claudia's?

If he wasn't reading it off of his head...was Armand realizing and remembering? As if he was there?

Sure, the next part of him telling Daniel what Alice was feeling was suspicious too and we keep mentioning it since the episode aired. That alone is fishy and fuels all our Alice theories. But Armand basically implying he didn't go into Daniel's memories is crazy, then how the fuck did he realize where Daniel's mind was going with "France sucks"?

Is this anything?

[zephyrine-gale]

working on sumeru charms ft sumeru boys i’ll be adding baizhu, scaramouche/wanderer, and maybe another dottore :>

[witchcraftandgeekness]

Wouldn't it be funny if the whole deal in CK would have ended with Kaz randomly falling over without consciousness cuz he was not sleeping, eating or drinking the whole time

[desperatecheesecubes]

I like how Razer is debating drinking just to cope with Hal and Carol fighting

[moregraceful]

It feels like getting pulled underwater—the sharp sideways tug, the slight drag of resistance, then falling, falling, till the waves close over his head. But Logan can breathe when he rights himself again, even if the light has a watery filter to it and the voices have a distant echo. // Sometimes Logan gets a glimpse of guys who've been long gone from the teal, clustered at the far end of the bench or sitting in the box across the ice. He heard Jason's voice in the hallway loud and clear, that infectious laugh. And he could have sworn he saw Raffi fucking Torres getting out of a car in the players' lot. Something tells him not to look up the rosters.

Commissioned @impmakesart to make a painting based on the Sharks' Cali Fin hype reel + the flip side by frausorge. Imp was amazing to work with and I could not be more emotional about this piece and so, so pleased with how it turned out!! 🙇🏻‍♂️🙇🏻‍♂️ Commission him here. Thank you Imp!

[faaun]

we sang in the aeroplane over the sea tgth ☆

[inact-ice]

henren are still together but most of their plots are about their kids or issues in their marriage. They did have the set up for an interesting plot involving a corrupt public official in season 8 but the show resolved it in a single episode. There problem is there's one other gay man on the show, Josh, but he doesn't get relationships or even much focus outside of his work so Tommy being written out is pretty much the death of rep for gay men who started the show because of bucktommy and because they saw themselves in Tommy.

Idk this is kind of weird to me, I’m a black nonbinary bisexual person, and there’s not a single black nonbinary bi person in the show (as far as I know idk again I’m only on the beginning of season 2). And I’m really happy with the queer representation on 9-1-1 for the most part? Even w/ the henren cheating arc (ugh) and even though I can’t 100% relate to any of the queer experiences on the show, a show having a main couple that’s unapologetically black and Lesbian, is still representation for the community and the loss of 1 gay white man doesn’t mean that we’re losing representation in my opinion.

Though again, I haven’t met Tommy yet so idk, maybe he’s way better written than Hen or Karen. Also, I feel like all of the couples on the show have had marriage or kid issues? Maybe that’s all HenRen becomes, but if that’s the case, why are people less angry about that than Tommy leaving? If 9-1-1 is fumbling this badly with like the only black lesbian couple as main characters representation on network tv, that’s kind of a big deal.

Idk I was just kinda side eyeing some of the comments I saw like this, it feels like people are saying that Tommy is more important and better representation than HenRen and it’s making all my fandom racism alarms go off, like again, maybe they totally fumble HenRen and Tommy is like a beautifully written gay character the likes of which we’ve never seen before, but the things people have been saying have been WEIRD!

Also I just met Josh! Does he really never get a boyfriend??? UGH! And I know Athena’s mean gay husband doesn’t show up in later seasons bc the actors anti mask allegedly too, so I do kinda understand the frustration! It’s just like, still weird. But when I get to season 8 in 2045 I’ll do like a whole fun analysis thing with bucktommy in mind.

[makorragal-312]

Here's the thing:

I can empathize with Emma to some degree. At the end of the day, she's just a girl with an intense crush on Itsuomi and constantly makes her feelings known to him hoping that one day, he'll feel the same way. Just peek high school girl behavior.

HOWEVER...

It has been literal years and Itsuomi has made it clear more than once that he is not interested and he's now in a relationship with Yuki. And Emma refuses to get the hint and even went as far as to try and make up a lie about spending the night with Itsuomi to chase Yuki away. So when she's at her job crying about how Itsuomi "ghosted" her over text, it's hard for me to feel even remotely bad for her.

Again, I feel for her on the "unrequited love" front. But for everything else, she needs to move on.

[princeofuchiha]

Every once in a while something will happen in naruto that just makes me go,,, Kishimoto,,, have you ever actually interacted with a child,,,

[give-grian-rights]

can someone tell me why im being abnormal about a character i've barely touched the content of. like yay yippie i watched like 20 hours of you. there's fucking 80 years of content get me OUT OF HERE?

[jamiemaybeme]

Doing This Again by Bears In Trees: An Unnecessarily Deep Analysis by me

( @bearsintreesofficial please if you only see one of my posts ever let it be this one i worked so hard 🥲)

i'm bored, and i want to yell about my hyperfixations on the internet, so have fun :D

(i will preface this by saying that it will be LONG. i wrote this in a notebook and initially i was going to just upload a photo, but my annotations are too small to be seen on camera. make of that what you will.)

!!ALSO THIS IS IMPORTANT!!: these are my interpretations. i do not know if the band intended to communicate everything i've understood from this song (i expect they didn't actually), and it's perfectly valid for you to have different interpretations to me. it's encouraged.

also (sorry one last thing) i will refer to "the singer" like i would a poet, even though i know the singer didn't write the song. just roll with it.

okay now onto the actual analysis (below the cut off so people who don't want to read it don't have to scroll for ages). enjoy!!

verse one:

i hope to be happy, i hope to be calm

i hope to be somewhat content

the song begins with an expectation. the singer 'hopes' to be something, which is a goal for the future. the repetition adds to this. it shows the amount of expectations the singer has. it reads like the beginning of a new year, when one makes new year's resolutions. this comparison could imply the singer is unlikely to stick to these expectations, as people are infamous for only sticking with new year's resolutions during january. this sets up the mood of the song: the struggle of attempting to break free from old habits and the mundanity of life, and the frustration that comes with that.

however, the singer only hopes to be 'somewhat content'. the word 'somewhat' makes it clear the singer is trying to lower their expectations to be achievable. the word 'hope' is also not a guarantee. the singer does not know if they will feel the way they want to. it is a 'hope' they are holding onto, perhaps to help them keep going.

the word 'calm' directly contrasts the name of one of the band's previous eps, i want to feel chaotic, which features their most streamed song ramblings of a lunatic. the ep focuses on struggling to cope with trauma and turning to your friends in times of difficulties. this song is a step away from processing trauma, and instead focuses on day-to-day life. this contrast is shown through the choice of the word 'calm'.

(also there's the whole i wanna feel calm/i wanna feel chaotic comparison but that's not directly related so i'm ignoring it. maybe i'll post about it later 👀.)

verse one (continued):

every morning, i wake up

and think to myself, "oh God, we're doing this again!"

'every morning i wake up' is also repeated throughout the song as the first line of the chorus. the repetition combined with the hyperbole communicates the singer's frustration. they feel stuck in a loop, which the structure of the song shows us.

'"oh God"' can be interpreted in a few ways. (this is actually the main reason i decided to analyse this song specifically, because it felt like i had so much to say.) interpretation number one: it could, simply, be a blasphemous curse. a teenage rebellion against parents or school. (context: nick - who i'm 90% sure wrote this - went to a catholic secondary school with two of the others. i believe. i think those two were iain and callum.) it also could show how the singer is just like everyone else, as this is a common phrase. this adds to my previous point about being stuck in a loop, except now it includes other people. it makes the song feel more relatable. i feel like this one is more accurate to what the singer is trying to convey. and interpretation number two: however, it could also be read as a cry for help, to God. 'God' could be interpreted as anyone or anything, but in the context it's in, i'm assuming it is talking about God in christianity. it sets up the next verse nicely too.

verse two:

i hope i'll be resilient

i hope to be brave in the face of another family cancer

my mother cites a rosary downstairs

but Lord these blessed words fail me

first i'll talk about the religious imagery, linked to the last line of the previous verse.

'rosary', 'Lord' and 'blessed' are all directly related to religion, specifically catholicism (a branch of christianity if anyone is unaware). throughout most bears in trees songs, there runs a theme of religion, and with it religious trauma. a 'rosary' is, i believe, a string of beads which you move as you pray. (please bear in mind i do not follow catholicism so i am not sure how accurate this is. i could look it up but in all honesty if i stop writing rn idk if i'll continue.) the singer seems to be attempting to reach God, but is struggling due to some unseen reason. perhaps it is something they themselves are also unaware of.

the theme of 'hope' is once again repeated in this verse, carrying it on from verse one.

'another family cancer' talks about an awful event. we are not told whether it ends in tragedy (death), joy (being cancer free), or continues as an ongoing battle. this a) makes the song more relatable, as most people have known someone who's battled cancer, and b) may potentially mean the singer has not yet experienced this but is expecting to (expectations again). the word 'another' adds to the idea of being stuck in a loop. (if you're starting to notice a pattern: congratulations! you've cracked the code.)

the word 'downstairs' shows separation between the singer's mother and themself (is it themselves or themself i can't work it out?), but could also be a metaphor for the distance the singer feels from God or even religion entirely. this is portrayed by having their mother praying at the same time the singer is struggling to connect with the words. the physical distance between the singer and their mother is a symbol of the metaphorical distance between the singer and God/catholicism.

the verse ends with the phrase 'fail me'. in the context of the analysis, it seems they are either struggling to turn to God for help, or do not feel God is helping. however, they may believe God is the one failing them. it can be extremely difficult to pray to someone or something that you can't see, especially when there doesn't seem to be a response. they either believe they are failing God because they can't communicate properly, or God is failing them because there has been no (obvious) response. alternatively, if we take it in the context of the song it could show how the singer is struggling to live up to the expectations (🙃) set by themself or others, and feel like a failure. (i will admit, this one is a little bit of a stretch. but it's analysis, everything's a stretch 🤷.)

pre-chorus? (i don't think it is but idk what else to call it so w/e):

i just wanna welcome all the broken people

the juxtaposition (i love that word) of 'just' and 'all' really communicates the singer's expectations of themself. they are under playing welcoming everyone into some sort of family or home, by specifying 'just' the 'broken people'. however, everyone is 'broken' in some way or another, so the singer's desire to accept the 'broken' people essentially encompasses the whole world. this is a high expectation. it is quite literally impossible. yet the singer seems to believe they should be able to to do it, as the word 'just' makes it sound easy. potentially they haven't fully considered the situation.

the word 'welcome' could have biblical connotations. Jesus was all about welcoming people, even those on the outside of society, the 'broken people', some might even say. (some being me. i'm saying that.) the singer seems to be attempting to fulfil the role of God in their life within which God is not present - either by their choice or by their interpretation.

chorus:

every morning i wake up, and i drink my silly little oak milk coffee

and i text my silly little texts, and my phone's still on autocorrect

just going to briefly remind you of the repetition of 'every morning i wake up' continued from the last line of verse one. okay that's it.

the singer decribes their interests as 'silly little' things. it's sung twice per chorus, which shows it's not just one aspect of their life. this could be read as a dismissal of their interests, but could equally be seen as them embracing their interests being seen as 'silly'. they are claiming their interests with the personal pronoun 'my'. this could show how they're not ashamed of the things they like.

chorus (continued):

so i gotta backspace, take my caps out

'cause i'm too lazy to change the settings, too hazy to hum myself to sleep

oh my God, we're doing this again

once again there's the idea of expectations. the modal 'gotta' shows the singer feels like they must do things they have decided to (in this instance type in all lower case, something that is considered trivial and unimportant).

the singer is aware of the fact they might be perceived as 'lazy'. this might be because they genuinely are lazy, or it could be a sign they are struggling, potentially with a mental illness or being burnt out.

they decribe themself as 'hazy', which implies they are disorientated or overwhelmed.

the pronoun 'my' has been added to the last line compared to the first verse. this makes it closer to blasphemy than a cry for help, but it still could be either.

the collective noun 'we're' addresses the audience directly, letting them know that they are not alone and the singer struggles with the same things they do (basically 🎶 we're all in this together! 🎶).

verse three:

i hope to be neurotic, go lucky

young upstart and plucky

there's the repetition of 'i hope' in this verse once again, but it's only in this verse once. this could show the singer either losing hope or struggling to keep up with all their expectations. (i know it's almost certainly for timing reasons but i didn't title this over analysing for no reason.)

(psa: this paragraph is almost entirely irrelevant i just wanted to rant about psychology) neuroticism is one of the three personality traits in eysenck's criminal personality theory. it is a trait that measures how anxious an individual is. the theory states that criminal behaviour is fixed from birth, and is mostly affected by biological factors. it theorises people are born with the urge to commit criminal acts. the other two traits featured in this theory are extraversion (how out-going an individual is) and psychoticism (how aggressive and impulsive an individual is). there was also a study done by heaven in 1996 based on this theory, but he did not measure neuroticism as he felt that would have been too hard (instead opting for self-esteem, which showed no correlation to criminality). none of this is particularly related, i just think it's cool and wanted to infodump :].

my gcse psychology textbook (this is pretty much the only time i've actually used it btw 😭) says about neuroticism that "people who score high on neuroticism are anxious, angry and prone to feeling guilt. at the opposite end is stability. stable people tend to be calm, even-tempered and not easily stressed. of course, it is possible to be in between these two extremes too." i'm not really sure what to think about this, but it's certainly interesting to think that the singer wants to feel/be this way. idk man i'm too tired to think about this too deeply.

'go lucky' is shortened from the phrase "happy go lucky". the lack of the word 'happy' shows the singer doesn't even have it in them to yearn for happiness, they just want to be anything other than apathetic.

I'VE JUST REALISED THAT THE FIRST LINE OF THIS VERSE CONTRASTS THE FIRST LINE OF VERSE ONE OMDS THIS IS CRAZY. the opposite of being 'neurotic' (i hope to be neurotic) is being 'calm' (i hope to be calm), and the word 'happy' (i hope to be happy) completes the phrase "happy 'go lucky'" (i hope to be..., go lucky).

verse three (continued):

anatomically correct beating heart of the party

and i could be your vena cava

pumping small talk between your trauma

while the red stains your new carpet

the specification of an 'anatomically correct heart' shows the singer's desire to not be artificial. it may also be a way to show they want to embrace a nerdier side of themself.

being the 'heart' or "life" 'of the party' means someone who is at the centre of the party. often the party properly gets started when they arrive, and ends when they leave. it is a common trope in teen films, which links back to the recurring theme of being stuck in a loop with everyone else.

the 'vena cava' is a vein (?) in the heart. i'm not really sure what it does but i have a biology exam in two days at the time of writing this (one day at the time of editing oh no) so i probably should. it might be an artery. either way, i THINK it carries blood away from the heart. whether it goes to the lungs or some other part of the body i am unsure. i should probably find that out soon. anyway.

the heart is a muscle that pumps blood - that is its function. the singer could be saying they want to be strong for their friend, or be crucial for them to live, much like the heart is. 'small talk' has replaced blood in their veins (metaphorically just in case that was unclear), showing how everyone else seems to live off of small talk. in 'i am cold', a song from the ep 'i see blue', the first two lines are 'don't talk about the weather / i wanna know what makes you sick'. in some interview or something somewhere either nick or iain (this is so specific ik) explains that this line means the singer wants to skip small talk and get straight to the deep things. this combined with this song makes the singer feel different to everyone else. they seem to be breaking the cycle but at the same time still contributing to it by helping their friend make small talk (it's 1am sorry if that made no sense).

in 'i wanna feel calm', a song from bears in trees' latest album 'how to build an ocean: instructions' which was also released as the second single out of four before the album, the first line is 'i try not to let my trauma do the talking but from time to time the "t"s add up'. this shows how the singer struggles not to trauma dump as a way of making conversation (relatable), but here they are helping their friend avoid doing the same thing by 'pumping small talk between their trauma'. alternatively, it could be that their friend is trauma dumping to a third party and the singer keeps interjecting (is that a word?? i thought it was but my keyboard didn't recognise it?) with 'small talk' to try and lighten the mood/distract from their friend.

the colour imagery choice is interesting, as 'red' has a lot of connotations. first and foremost is obviously blood based on the previous imagery used. it is also the colour of passion, whether that be passionate love, hate, anger or fear. it also signifies danger. the point is, passion is the opposite of apathy, which is the way the singer has seemed to portray their reaction in relation to the mundanity of life throughout the song so far.

however, whilst 'red' is more subjective, the word 'stains' has way more negative connotations than positive. a stain is generally unwanted, like a weed. it's a memory the singer it their friend wants to forget, but can't.

the 'new carpet' could refer to them trying to start afresh, the 'new carpet' being a new mindset. however, it very quickly gets stained showing the inevitably of life. alternatively, the singer could be referencing red wine- a red liquid which stains- or something similar, ie it could be literal.

(the chorus repeats here but i'm not repeating my analysis because there's literally no point [: )

bridge:

every sunrise, every street sign, every goodbye

every moonbeam, every fever dream

every sunrise, every street sign, every goodbye

every moonbeam, every fever dream

'every' is once again repeated here, but 10 times instead of 1 (20 in the whole bridge but 10 in each section i've split it into).

once again, it is a reminder of the inevitably of the existence of the mundane, everyday things of life. 'sunrises' and 'moonbeams' directly contrast, to show that the cycle happens all the time. these two things are also part of nature. they also happen everyday, whether you see them or not. 'street signs' are man made, but are still very common. 'goodbyes' are inevitable. for every hello there is a goodbye; they are unavoidable. they can be sad, they can be bittersweet, they can be happy (if you dislike the person enough). 'fever dreams' are uncontrollable. they happen while you are in a state that you cannot control, and are weird. this line feels like the singer is embracing the weird parts of life, even things they cannot control.

bridge (continued):

wouldn't you love to be happy? (every sunrise, every street sign, every goodbye)

wouldn't you love to go outside for a change? (every moonbeam, every fever dream)

and i don't mean in body (every sunrise, every street sign, every goodbye)

i mean embody, i mean embody (every moonbeam, every fever dream)

(note: this is pretty much where my notebook annotations end; i gave up and forgot about it. the rest is likely to be less coherent than the above, just a warning. okay back to it.)

the singer begins to directly question the audience here, addressing them like at the end of the choruses. however, they could be just using the audience to address themself. this is the final reference to expectations in the song, and now it's more of a wish than something that the singer feels they should be. "'wouldn't you love' to do these things? it would be amazing if i could, but i can't. i would love the ability to get myself together, but it feels impossible right now." this reminds me of the chorus of 'great heights' a song from both the album 'and everybody else smiled back' and one of three songs released earlier as singles. 'we'd reach such great heights / if we could just make our beds in the morning.' this is a reference explained by nick in a tiktok video somewhere to a sign he is entering a dissociative episode: he stops making his bed. this whole song ('doing this again') tackles the issue of mental illnesses and struggling to cope with the mundanity of life. the singer feels if they could just complete these simple tasks that seem so huge, bigger things would be so much easier to tackle. they feel if they can get out of their head, they could take over the world. but they can't take over the world without going outside. 'outside' could mean literally out their house, or could be outside their mind. (this is confirmed as being mental in the next two lines 'i don't mean in body, i mean embody'.)

the singer finally suggests 'a change' could be good. this is the first (and only) time in the song anything other than the "same old thing"™ is mentioned. they are trying to entice themself into wanting this by asking it as a question. this is a psychological trick often used on children - if you make someone think it was their own idea they are way more likely to do what you want them to do.

the word 'embody' crops up later in 'bart's bike', a song that wraps up how the years 2022 - 2023 (i believe. from what i've heard) felt, and reminisces on them. that would include this ep/song, which was released in november 2022. 'i know you meant embody / when you looked to the mountains, towering above us'. this callback shows how far the singer has come. either they are talking to themself in third person, or their friend is saying this. the friend may be someone who has helped the singer through the period of their life where they struggled with apathy. another song from this era is 'apathy is boring', which talks about rejecting apathy as a coping mechanism and embracing our emotions. 'the mountains' are symbolic of the tasks they've been talking about struggling with the whole song. the pronoun 'us' shows how the singer is not alone, and even though they still have struggles they don't have to face them alone. the parallels between this song and the 'how to stay shining' era shows the singer's improving mental health. the band have talked before about how they don't like dwelling on bad things that have happened, as good things happen too and it's important not to focus on all the wrong things. healing is a progress, and these two songs ('doing this again' and 'bart's bike') were released almost exactly a year apart ('bart's bike' was released on december 1st 2023. 'doing this again' was released on october 28th 2022, but 'every moonbeam every fever dream' (the full ep) was released on november 11th 2022.) this is both symbolic of a person healing over time and shows the band maturing/getting better over time. it's sweet and it's not unrealistically fast.

there's also the repetition of 'every sunrise...' here, which is just another example of the mundanity of everyday life.

(the chorus repeats one more time here)

outro:

every sunrise, every street sign, every goodbye (again)

every moonbeam every fever dream (again)

every sunrise, every street sign, every goodbye (again)

every moonbeam every fever dream (we're doing this again)

this is how the song ends. it feels bittersweet. the singer seems to have accepted their fate of continuously doing the same thing. the word 'again' is repeated 4 times in this section. the singer is focused on it now more than the rest of the song. (this probably means something but it's like 2am so ifk whay.) this is the last section of the song, but the singer is showing that their everyday life is not over. however, they may choose to find hope in this. we don't know, because the song ends much like the rest of it: with repetition symbolic of the middle of life.

the last line is 'we're doing this agin' which uses the pronoun 'we're' and also extends the phrase. the audience is left on the note that whilst the mundanity of life still repeats, it's easier when it's not just you. this relates to the 'bart's bike' line i referenced earlier, when the singer talks about mountains towering above 'us'. the use of collective pronouns throughout this song give hope to the audience. the song tells us that we are not alone, and there is hope to be found.

okay i've just fksihed writing this and it's like 2:15 am i'll edit it later i have an exam in <7 hourd i'm gonna fail yay :')

alright, 'nught :]

okay it's now 4.30pm and i've just finished editing. if you got this far, thank you so much. if you didn't, thank you anyway. i repeated myself so much in my analysis, but maybe that's to communicate meaning! (it's not but we can pretend it is.) i hope you enjoyed reading this. have a good timezone and please tell me if you want me to repeat this with another song. it might not be quite to this extent but i can try. (also i don't think i failed my english exam so that's good :D)

see you in the next one! (maybe. hopefully.) and go and stream how to build an ocean: instructions!!!

[icewindandboringhorror]

I occasionally wish to reach out to old friends/acquaintances I haven't spoken to since high school/some other even earlier time in my life, but I have SOOO little social energy even for required tasks (like making dr phone calls or etc), I never have any leftover for extra ones, and it would be very odd to message someone I haven't spoken to in like 5 years out of the blue but then take 4 entire months to respond back lol.. My natural curiosity with nostalgia/collecting details of the past/etc. (literally if I were born a little earlier I would definitely do scrapbooking or something lol) is very strong, but, alas, not strong enough to beat out the Social Issues Demons apparently

[thisbuildinghasfeelings]

I will be starting us off on the fic rec game for Week 8! (This week’s episodes: 2x05 Difficult Conversations & 2x06 Everyone and Their Brother)

Here are the prompts for this week’s fic rec game:

Owen and Gwyn

Gwyn's pregnancy

Paul and his family and/or his life in Chicago

TK's decision to become a paramedic

Brothers

TK driving (firetruck or otherwise)

The rules are simple: every week there will be a different prompt, and everyone is encouraged to share a fic (or a few!) recommendation that meets the prompt and tag a few fic-reading friends. The game can be played all week, so no pressure to post right away. I will kick us off with a few recs and then I’ll tag some folks below to get us going! Please feel free to use the banner above, to make your own, or to not use one at all!

Finally, please use the tag ‘Rewatch Read-Along Week 8’ and at the end of the week @911lonestarrewatch will post the link to the tag for the comprehensive list of fic recs!

Thanks to @guardian-angle22 for the banner!

i don't wanna wear this cape by @marchingatmidnight

A really lovely fic that includes Carlos and TK talking through TK's decision to become a paramedic, which is something I desperately wish we had seen on the show! It also includes some discussion of TK going to meetings, another thing that was missing from season 2. This fic also provides an explanation for something I had been thinking about recently...why would it have been so ridiculous for Tommy to go into the minefield with Owen in 2x06? Here it's explained as a bad idea because it would have been both captains going into the same significant danger. I'm not sure if it was thought through to that extent by the show's writers, but you know what? That works for me. I will accept it!

Rest My Head on Your Chest by @bellakitse

Another excellent little fic about TK talking through his decision to become a paramedic with Carlos. This is something that MUST have happened. We didn't get to see it, but thankfully we have fanfiction to help us with that!

Back to the Remedy by @paperstorm

A Missing Moments installment for 2x06, including TK finding out about Gwyn's pregnancy and (what is clearly my favorite topic for fic this week) TK and Carlos talking about TK's decision to become a paramedic. I think what I love so much about this topic is the inevitable loving support from Carlos, which is something this fic has in abundance!

Baby you can drive my car by Uny_Kitty

An adorable fic that features Carlos teaching TK to drive. He even lets him drive the Camaro!

Tagging some fic readers who might have recs of their own: @lemonlyman-dotcom @carlos-in-glasses @bonheur-cafe @reyesstrand @chicgeekgirl89 @redshirt2 @lightningboltreader @herefortarlos @heartstringsduet @im-overstimulated-and-im-sad @sznofthesticks @strandnreyes @alrightbuckaroo @noxsoulmate