#wee jas

[dailyadventureprompts]

I want a low level adventure for investigating an old abandoned (why) temple/jail? Why they have been asked to go in is the adventure but as a plot hook for a future adventure they will find a locked up vampire (how) who they can leave, attempt to kill or let go. The key thing is he will offer something if they do the latter pertainent to a later adventure.

Dungeon: The Bargain At Barrowfort

A grim history and rumours of haunting keep people away from the old fortress, Once the domain of a wicked count who was all too fond of brutality and torture as a means of keeping his power. Though it has been many years since a heroic rebellion ousted the count and his patrons from power, time has yet to banish the shadow that has come to dwell behind it's battlements.

Adventure Hooks:

Using the area's foreboding reputation to avoid detection, a band of outlaws has claimed the Barrowfort as their base, striking out at caravans and small settlements with weapons salvaged from it's old armouries. When the party eventually raids the crumbling fortress, the scent of ensuing death will awaken a long slumbering hunger; the Barrowfort's ghoulish final garrison, starved out by besieging rebels and driven to unspeakable acts that cursed them with undeath.

Local lore has it that the fortress was built on the burial mound of an ancient queen, who's tomb-curse doomed the original builders and all those who laid claim to the fort in subsequent generations. Due to a quirk of inheritance, an ailing relative of one of the PCs has left them a deed in their will, and the party best get to the root of the curse (and claim their sick new base) before it brings doom upon them.

In the dungeon's deepest vault resides the last victim of the Count's cruelty: Before his capture Ser Karagol was a ruby knight of Wee Jas, goddess of death, passion, and magic. Ser Karagol was a vampire, but he was also a dutiful and pious man, living his life according to a code that restrained his appetites and directed his long centuries of unlife to the goddess's service. The count hoped to force the vampire into sharing the "gift" of immortality, binding him with holy chains and starving him for months at a time in an attempt to break him down. Decades after being forgotten in the dungeons, Karagol is in a sorry state, slipping between lucidity and feral hunger as he struggles against his bindings. Deliberation and mercy in rehabbing the vamp can earn the party a powerful ally in both the knight and his church, but a slip of awareness might result in one of them becoming gravely hurt.

Repeated acts of cruelty and deprivation have stained the Barrowfort to it's very foundations, marking it for Yeenoghu: demon lord of insatiable hunger. Some time in the future, whether the party is holding a feast in their new hall, or when an ambitious occultist claims the ruins for their own, a portal will open and allow minions of the gnawing god to steal through.

Art

[noctilin]

i can't believe i haven't posted abt her yet but cimmorro has a tressym he loves very much, her name is jasper :) <3 he picked her name based on the gem and the goddess wee jas. she came from his mom's tressym's litter too

(drawings from 2021-2022)

[mordicaifeed]

The Trinity Coat by Robert Wun; jewelry by Anabela Chan.

[the-starfleet]

this looks weird but here ya'll go

a dime based off a palette a pal (you know who you are c: ) made!

[zenmom]

Nooooo! The today’s not over and I’ve already broken my processor!

I seriously need those clips so that they don’t fall off my head. And I don’t have any left.

[marmett]

also like, wotc has tons of adventure modules, so if ur new to dnd and dming dont feel pressured to make ur own homebrew setting and write ur own original adventure. im dm'ing for the first time and im relying on a book to run it. im using a premade campaign setting and some prewritten encounters and adventures but retooled and modified to suit my players and my own interests more.

[fallingforfandoms]

POV: Du willst dir noch ein bisschen GOT-Dialog zu Inspirationszwecken rausschreiben, bist aber mittlerweile bei Staffel 8 angekommen und musst dich jetzt entscheiden, ob du noch ein klitzekleines bisschen von den Szenen erkennen möchtest oder lieber vom strahlend weißen Google Doc erblinden willst. Seufz.

[itsmeishmi]

A creature Wee Zoraal Ja Skink >:]c

[lefarte]

Literally no one has done it so could you pretty please do Abella NSFW HeadCannons (or an m!reader fic if you got the time) 🙏. I'll name my protractor after you if you do

Who wrote this one 😭 yall are crazy

Also I expect that protractor to be named after me. Keep your promise anon

Reader is GN but has a pp… or I guess you could imagine it as a strap if you’re a coward

The nights in prehevil were growing longer, and colder.

At first it was a cold autumn chill. But as the days went by, the wind turned dry, the kind of cold that chills your bones. Your fingers stopped tingling, it got to the point where the numbness ached. Not even hiding in a house would help because the walls were so thin you could hear the banging from outside, and the thin layer of dust coating everything had turned into frost.

Abella was such a sweet girl. She even blushed when she offered to hold your hand.

It was hard to focus, was the thing. Abella would sometimes ruffle your hair when she gave you those huge bear hugs and… pressed you rather deep into her chest until you had to whine and tap her on the shoulder.

Once, she had bent over to pick something up - you don’t know what it was, you weren’t paying attention, and she kind of chortled at you and said, “I guess… people like this kind of thing, right?”

She thought she was being sly there.

As the night turned into the wee hours of the morning, she had begged you to get some sleep for five minutes straight. She was right, your eyebags were darker than they’d ever been when you caught your reflection in the old broken mirrors. You were becoming unsteady. You couldn’t hide it.

“Come on,” She tugged your hand. “I want you to sleep. I need you to sleep. We have to be in our best condition, ja?”

“Abella…” You rasped. “I can’t… I can’t sleep.”

“Do you not feel safe? I can keep watch-“

“No,” You swallowed. “You can sleep. I’ll keep watch.”

She gave you a disappointed look. “I won’t be able to sleep until you sleep. You know that.”

You looked at her for a moment, but quickly lost composure when she crossed her arms at you. Her strong arms…

“Fine,” You muttered. “Let’s go sleep.”

She nodded happily. She took you to a cozy little bookshop, a place you had stopped by before and deemed as safe enough.

“Oh no…” She looked away from you, to not expose her happy face. “…there’s only one bed!”

You paused. “We’ve been here before.”

“Oh, right.”

“…”

“Well… I guess we just… have to sleep in the same bed?” She looked at you hopefully. “It’s cold, anyway.”

“Fine, fine.”

She pumped her fist.

You crawled into bed, then her. She took off her boots, then undid her hair, and her overalls, though she was wearing shorts underneath. You simply sat facing each other for a moment.

“I don’t know if you noticed, but I like you.”

You smiled. “I did notice. You’re not as subtle as you think you are.”

“I don’t really… flirt with people,” She said. “I’m just doing what the books taught me.”

“Well, I like you too.”

“You do?” She smiled. “I’m happy. I’ve liked you for a long time. I think you’re my favorite person. I want to call you my honey, and my love, and I want to hold hands every day. Do we kiss now?”

“Yes, we kiss now,” You murmured. “We can hold hands whenever you want, every day. And I’ll hug you every day, too, and kiss you all the time… You’re too good to me, Abella.”

“Oh,” She leaned close, her nose touching yours while she looked into your eyes. “I really… you’re sweet… let’s kiss…”

She held your face for a moment, just looking. Your lips touched, you held each other. Relishing each others touch. For the first time since coming to this damn town, you felt warm.

“I want you,” she sighed. “I want you tonight. I’m so pent up, god.”

“I’ve been thinking about something for a while…”

She looked up at you confusedly.

“Show me how you touch yourself when you read those books, Abella.”

She gasped, her face flushing red. Her fingers quivered in excitement. “Oh god… you’re driving me crazy. Okay, I will. Watch me.”

She pulled down the blanket to reveal her muscular form, her pretty hips and her well-built legs. “This is how I do it…”

Her hand slid under her briefs, with her other hand, she slowly pulled up her shirt, holding it up by her teeth. She grabbed a tit, giving it a squeeze, before gently circling a finger around her areola. You could see how she grinded against her hand while rubbing her clit, looking at you with sweet puppy eyes, urging you to go on.

You were happy to oblige. You slung your shirt off in a hurry and pulled your pants down, your cock already upright and leaky.

“I’ve never seen one in real life!” Her eyes widened.

You slowly took a fist to your hand, giving it a long stroke. “What kinds of things do you read about?”

She sighed and rubbed her nipple with her finger. “I read books where… the handsome rich man sweeps the girl off her feet… then he takes her to his mansion, and he comes on to her… he touches her, and she raises her skirt, and…”

You can’t help but stroke yourself a bit more vigorously. “Go on. Don’t stop. Tell me it…”

“He picks her up, and puts her on the bed, and spreads her legs… then he starts kissing her thighs, and squeezing her hips… then he licks her, down there, until she can’t stop cumming…”

“You’d like me to do that to you? Tell me another…”

She’s pulled her shorts off entirely, letting you hear the pretty sounds of her wet pussy.

“Another… the man takes the girl out to the beach…” she moaned. “He starts going, ‘you’re so hot’… pulling her close, and they kiss hard… he takes her bikini off… she goes, ‘what if someone sees?’…”

“And then, let me guess, she rides him on the beach?”

“Yeah… backwards.” She laughed a little and closes her eyes, reveling in the moment. “I’ve never done this kind of thing in front of anyone… I like it… I don’t want to stop…”

Your hand gently traced over the soft skin of her chest. She nodded at you to go on. Squeezing it felt so good and soft in your hand, warm and squishy like dough. Even better than you’d imagined it to be. You felt it jiggle, it was mesmerizing. You were completely distracted until she pushed you straight into her chest.

“I like you there,” She panted. “I can keep you safe there…”

You might have choked in there, but the sweet scent felt so soft and intoxicating that you didn’t care. You couldn’t help but lather her chest in kisses, until your mouth suddenly met her nipple. She held you to it by your hair, rubbing her clit furiously with a wet, slick sound.

“I’m close,” Her breath hitched.

Your hands sped up too, fucking your hand like it was her. Your precum was dribbling onto the sheets, you didn’t even care. Her hand gripped your hair tighter as her moans became more frequent. Your tongue gently prodded at her nipple, playing with it and sucking on her.

“I’m really - ah —“

Her legs began to shake from how she was fingering herself deep past her knuckles. The bed was getting wet under her, from her sweat and her fluids. Her back arched with delight, and her head rolled back, gritting her teeth.

She suddenly relaxed deeply. She collapsed into the bed like all her strength had been drained. Slowly, a thick mess of cum gathered from her thighs.

“Oh, wow.. I.. that was really nice…”

She slowly climbed up, and then wrapped her legs around you. Her hand trailed over your body, before squeezing your hips.

“That’s not fair, is it…. You didn’t get to finish…”

[dailyadventureprompts]

Mystery: The Inheritance of Old Havoc

 After earning the favour and trust of the up and coming orcish trade magnate Kardin Havelock, it seems your party’s next adventure will be crashing a potentially violent family gathering. Kardin’s aging father earned great renown and a noble title some decades ago for his work as a privateer, but has been cagey about who will inherit the title since the death of his eldest child. Fearing the rash action and jealousy of his siblings, Kardin has hired you all on as bodyguards and passed you all off as servants as he joins his family at a distant coastal fortress. 

Hooks:

This adventure can either be run as a oneshot, with the party made up of sellswords and trusted employees in Kardin’s enterprise, or as part of a larger campaign. With the latter option, I’d suggest having the party run a mission or two for Kardin first to establish their relationship, perhaps defending his cargo from pirates or sorting out the difficulties when a monster decides to make a home in one of his warehouses.

I primarily built this adventure as a living example of my “how to run mysteries in d&d” system, so if you’re interested, pop over there to see how this is run under the hood. 

Secrets, betrayal, pirates, witchcraft, and murder. All these and more await you under the cut as I go into detail about this mystery’s many moving pieces. I had a lot of fun writing this one, and I hope you enjoy it too.

Briefing: Who the party knows, and what they can easily find out.

Kardin is the youngest child of the Havelock family, largely overshadowed by his brothers and sisters growing up, he struck out on his own as a merchant sailor and has done quite well for himself trading in ports both foreign and domestic. Thoughtful, though ambitious, Kardin believes his father sees him as the logical choice in inheriting the family title, and has only withheld from naming him as heir for fear of his sibling’s reactions. 

Kazdak is the family patriarch, a widower of some fifteen years, about whom the title of Count hangs uncomfortably as a fine silk shirt on a grey brindled boar. A born fighter who’s been forced to resign himself to old age, Havelock earned himself the nickname “Havoc” in his younger years, by carving a bloody swath through the pirates who prowled the kingdom’s coasts and tradeways looking for plunder. Kazdak was so effective the crown awarded him with with a title and a generous pension, on which he retired after surviving a pirate raid that killed most of his crew. Since then Kazdak has been cold towards most of his family, distant in person and communicating mainly through letters. In recent months he’s taken to staying up late writing or staring into the fire, having only his new dog for company. 

Akado, Oldest of Kazdak’s surviving children and a captain in the royal navy, described as a swaggering brute by her rivals ( and siblings). Growing up Idolizing her father and wanting nothing more than to continue her family’s reputation as terrors of the sea, Akado became a soldier of the crown and has been collecting scars and trophies from various battles for the past twenty years. Captian Akado believes she should inherit the title by virtue of being oldest, but deep down fears that her father has deigned not to do so because she has failed to live up to his expectations, or the name of Havoc

Zaddak (or Zak to her friends) is the imprudent socialite middle sibling, who used her father’s title to catapult herself into good society and all the bad habits that comes with it. Living for scandal, over indulgence, and illicit substances, Zaddak might be a total writeoff if she was not also a prodigiously talented mage capable of wielding lighting and famously once rending a deadly hurricane in half before it made landfall. Zak doesn’t care much for the title of Count itself, but whoever inherits will control the small fortune Kazdak made in selling commandeered ships to the crown, which means they can cut her off from the money that goes to feed her gambling debts and various addictions. 

Alyo (deceased). Wife to Kazdak, put much of her ambitions as an artist and own life aside to raise their four children nearly by herself while he was off privateering. Beloved by all and encouraged each of her children’s interests while allowing herslef to fade into the background, silently suffering from an illness that took her life a little over ten years ago. Kazdak has the only portrait of her but has kept it covered out of grief.  

Dalyk (deceased). Kazdak’s eldest son who died nearly fifteen years ago while at sea. Born before his father set off in service of the crown, mentored Kardin in sailing and was swept overboard when a vessel the two of them were in was caught in a storm.

Sequence of Events:

Kardin and the party arrive at Breakreef lookout by skiff, the skies promise a storm, as does their employer’s on edge mood.  Kazdak meets them on the stairs as they make their way up from the dock and welcomes his son up, directing him to his rooms and the party to their place in the servant’s quarters.

The party is allowed to get settled and do a bit of nosing around while Kardin and his father catch up, talking to the servants (and potentially being roped into preperations), poking around the fort, and potentially running into the other siblings: Akado is on the ramparts inspecting the old siege weapons used to hold off pirates back in the day, Zak is bored and has sulked off to the foretower, using her magic to doodle on the clouds. 

The Storm breaks. Zak and Kardin have tea together and gossip, during which Kardin encourages the party to go snoop around. Akado, a canny judge of character has sussed that the party aren’t infact servants and goes to see if she can goad the most dangerous looking one into making a move, confirming her suspicions that they’re hired muscle. 

Dinner is a shitshow, Kazdak has the portrait of his wife brought out and hung on the wall making all the siblings feel uncomfortable and Zaddak has gotten high to deal with her nerves and keeps wandering in and out of lucidity. Kardin and Akado quickly grow tired of talking around the reason that their father has invited them there and nearly get into a shouting match over the matter of inheritance as Kazdak gets more and more evasive.

In the middle of all the chaos the dog starts barking and the servants panic, apparently a ship (not a skiff, but a full on brig) has dropped anchor outside the fortress and those aboard are currently climbing the stair. The doors crash open with a peal of thunder and who should walk in but Dalyk, clearly alive, flanked by a dozen or so rowdy pirates sailors, soaking wet from the rain and chastising his old man for starting dinner without him. Kazdak doesn’t seem surprised by the fact that Dalyk is alive, though he does take exception to the crew of armed miscreants currently dripping all over his hall. If the party isn’t careful here, Akado and the frightened servants might just start a brawl, which Dalyk seems more than happy to join in with, though their father will put a stop to things before anything comes to blows.

With a promise by Kazdak that all will be explained in the morning, Everyone retires to their rooms, with Dalyk’s crew posted up in the hall. The servants are all a buzz and the siblings are in an uproar, but Count Havelock is master of the house, and folk tend to follow his commands.  The party will have to be careful if they want to investigate, but creeping about in the dark will let them spy on the secret dramas that play out over the next couple of hours. 

In the dead of night, with the storm not yet abating, those still asleep  will be woken up by the cries of servants. Akado apparently sent them searching after Kazdak half an hour ago when she went to talk with her father but couldn’t find him in his quarters or anywhere else sensible. They discovered him in the disused tower on death’s door, passed out from bloodloss, chilled to the bone from an open window, and with a strange dagger carving a terrible wound in his midsection. The siblings demand to know what happened, blame and accusations fly, and if someone doesn’t start answering questions soon, it’s very likely that Breakreef fortress will see battle once again.  

Some time after the party have become fully embroiled in the mystery and each of the Havelock siblings have barricaded themselves in a different corner of the fortress , the Count’s dog will rise from its place by the fire, stand up, remove his magical disguise, introducing himself to the party as Deacon Riax servant of the witch god, and inform them that unless they want a lot more people to die, they’re going to have to have to ensure Kazdak Havelock dies before dawn. 

Mysteries: Things the party can uncover, with minor requiring only a little snooping but major requiring the party to win trust and gather clues.

 (minor) Both Kardin and Zaddak are terrified of Akado, who bullied them relentlessly as children, once going so far as to nearly drown her sister when she stood up for herself. This latent fear and Akado’s history of military sanctioned violence spurred Zak to learn magic in order to defend herself, and prompted Kardin to hire the party in the first place.  Who knows? All the Havelocks, the oldest servants.

(minor) Kazdak has known that Dalyk has been alive and acting as a pirate for years, having maintained a lengthy correspondence with his apparently castaway son. The Eldest Havelock sibling apparently wants nothing to do with the title, despite his father’s insistence that he return home. Who knows? Kazdak, and anyone who reads the many letters stashed away in his office.

(minor) Alyo was a follower of Wee-Jass, a forign goddess of power, death, and passion, working much of the witch goddess’s iconography into her paintings. This includes a skull-ruby medalion which she wears in the portrait unveiled at dinner, and which Kazdak has carried since her death. Who knows? Anyone with theological training that looks at the portrait or the pendant. The Havelock siblings remember the pendant but don’t know much about religion between them, and their mother was private with her faith.

(minor) Count Havelock has been having terrible dreams this past year or so, and has been in frequent council with a mysterious foreign priest by the name of Riax who comes and goes from the fortress without anyone seeing how. The servants often hear them talking, but enter the room to find Kazdak alone.  Who knows? The servants, though they’ve been sworn by their employer not to speak to the siblings of the red robed priest.

(minor) Both Akado and Zaddak are well aware of Kardin’s ambitious streak, and have a sneaking suspicion that their younger brother had something to do with Dalyk’s disappearance. Ruthless Captain Akado believes it far more strongly than the ever sympathetic Zak does.  

(minor) Though muddled by blood, rainwater, and the actions of hasty servants, the disused tower room Kazdak was found in bears signs of being used for some occult ritual.

(minor) After dinner, Kardin snuck out to talk to his father but had to double back when he say Dalyk walking through the halls. For his part, Dalyk maintains that he didn’t get to talk to his father, hearing him having a stressed conversation with an unknown voice through the door.

(minor) Akado will patch up her father using some field medicine and whatever help the party can offer. In her estimation, anyone else would have died from a wound like Kazdak suffered, but like her, Old Havoc was toughened by many years of combat and held on by a thread. The knife itself is odd, ornamental though still sharp, not her first choice for a murder weapon.

(major) Though most think he made his name and fortune as a hunter of pirates and raiders, Kazdak supplemented his commission by engaging in the crown-sanctioned persecution of a local coastal people known as the Valtal, destroying their villages to push them out of land the kingdom wanted to occupy. An old man no longer proud of the bloody deeds that won him his title, guilt ways heavily upon the Count, doubly so that the navy continues his brutality as a matter of policy. Who knows? Kazdak, Dalyk and Akado, though she takes pride in being the hobnailed boot of the state.

(major) Lost at sea, Dalyk was taken in by the very people his father was set to exterminate, Outlaws and Valtal people forced into piracy through desperation. He rose in their ranks, and eventually married into their culture, renouncing his father’s name and swearing an enmity against the royal navy. Who knows? Dalyk and Kazdak, though the Count thinks he can convince his son to come back.

(major) Kazdak’s dreams are symptoms of a fiend’s bargin coming due, a thing of violence and fear that had been feeding off his evil deeds for years before he was struck down in a clash with pirates. On the edge of death and with a mouth full of blood, Kazdak wished more than anything to see his family again, which the fiend took as terms, driving its talons into his soul to afix it to his body until his flesh could heal. Dwelling on this unwitting pact during his recovery and long journey home, Kazdak developed a fear that if he ever saw his family all at once, wife and children together, that the fiend would take them in his place. Avoidance worked for many years, until dreams of his children’s violent death convinced him that the fiend was tired of waiting for him to fall into its trap.  Finding no solace in local temples, the Count sought out a priest of his departed wife’s god and enlisted his help. Together, he and Deacon Riax formulated a plan, gather his family and subvert the pact by performing a blood sacrifice before the demon could claim his due on the anniversary of Kazdak’s averted death. This likely would have worked had Old Havoc not been so hardy, or had his body not been found. Now time is running out and the only way to avert disaster is for the party to finish Kazdak’s self-assassination. Who Knows? Kazdak (unconsious) and Riax ( disguised as a dog)

From there the story branches: None of the siblings will be on board with killing their father and will likely think that any explination as to why is part of a botched scheme orchestrated by one of the others. Zak or Dalyk could possibly be convinced to help and Kardin might step aside, but Akado will hold out until the end. Right up until dawn breaks, the fiend possesses her father’s exhanguinated body, and snaps her neck.  Unless somehow exorsized, it will persist until it has killed each of the Havelock siblings, then retreat allowing Kazdak see his family one last time before his body gives out from under him.  A tragedy the party will be hardpressed to prevent unless they are lucky, tactful, and act very quickly on the words of a man who was pretending to be a dog for most of the last week.

[dawns-beauty]

Dev thoughts on Project ja-Kha'jay: Khajiit Caravan Kittens

-lil cheetah with a fluffy little mohawk

-baby lion with spots

-wee sandcat kitten

-Pahmar tiger babby

-smol caracal kiddo

-and a widdle Ohmes kid with hand-painted 'tattoos' and a rope tied around their waist like a tail (because everyone else has a tail) :')

[the-starfleet]

birthday time

wee

[fandom-junk-drawer]

The Witcher Headcanon (Modern Au) - Error 404 Brain Not Found: Bonus Scene - Part 23

Jaskier had glanced up at the eave of the garden shed, and there it was.

F**k me running, that's huge! Good gods, look at the size of it! I've got to get Geralt!

Geralt is minding his own business, hiding from Yennefer hanging out in Van Roach, when Jaskier bursts in. The bard is pulling at his arm and excitedly demanding that Geralt come see this huge a** hornet nest.

It's seriously huge!

Really big!

Bigger than Yennefer's a**!

Geralt: *raises one eyebrow*

Yeah, I know! It's hard to imagine that there can be anything bigger than her a**!

Just come look at it!

Geralt sighs and gives in, allowing himself to be pulled out of his Mobile Man Cave. He's dragged to the garden shed, and there, on the eave, near the point of the roof, is indeed the biggest d*mn hornet nest he's ever seen.

The Urge made the primitive part of his brain itch like a poison ivy rash. "We should, uh, get rid of that nest. Someone could get stung." Geralt said slowly and carefully, trying to keep the excitement out of his voice.

"Yeah..." Jaskier said just as carefully, "Wouldn't want anyone to get stung. Especially Wee Roach. We're going to have to get rid of it."

Geralt was silent for a minute as he looked up at the nest, then said, his voice trembling only slightly, "How should we, uh, get rid of it?"

"Burning it would be great fun-- I mean -- great. It would be great.

"Yennefer said no fire after we burnt that big patch of grass last week getting rid of that ant hill." Geralt said.

They both looked at the round, bald patch in the yard where the grass still hadn't grown back yet.

"Blow it up. We should definitely blow it up." Jaskier replied, voice humming like a bowstring.

"Yeah, " Geralt agreed, trying to sound nonchalant, "Wouldn't want to end up setting the grass on fire, or anything."

They were both still, staring at each other mutely for almost a full minute, then Jaskier blurted "I'm getting the M80's!", and skedaddled into the house.

The Urge was demanding to be scratched, and they were going to scratch the h*ll out of it!

Several moments (and one close call with Yennefer) later, and Jaskier was helping Geralt tie an M80 to a long pole. They kept looking nervously over their shoulders every few seconds, jumping at every sound like a couple of convicts trying to coordinate a prison break

The firecracker was successfully attached to the pole and everything was ready.

A whispered argument (and a tug of war) ensued when Geralt tried to walk off with the pole.

"I want to do it!"

"I found the nest, I should get to blow it up!"

"I dont' care if 'yOu'Re a WiTcHeR aNd hAvE fAsTeR rEfLeXeS' !"

"I know how to handle a pole!"

"That was a vague 'Hmmm.' What are you implying, Geralt?"

"Now is not the time for jokes!"

"I'm NOT going to get stung-!"

Jaskier gave a sharp tug, trying to wrest the pole from Geralt's hands, and the end of it tapped the hornet nest. Both men froze as hornets buzzed agitatedly around the nest. After a few moments, the insects settled down and went back about their business.

Geralt glared at Jaskier.

Jaskier raised his middle finger.

A hornet, seemingly offended by the obscene gesture, swooped down.

Jaskier yelped in lowercase and fumbled the pole as the angry little f**ker stung him on the palm of his right hand, which just so happened to be the hand he was using to flip the bird with.

Geralt used Igni to light the fuse on the firecracker, and quickly shoved the ignited explosive into the nest. There was a loud crack!, and the nest blew apart. Chunks of paper, dead hornet bits, live hornets, and charred larvae rained down.

The few surviving hornets were now very, very angry, and went on the attack, blindly stinging anything they could find. Geralt was hit three times on the back before he could drop the stick and throw up Quen.

The hornets didn't look like they were going to give up anytime soon, so Geralt grabbed Jaskier and they fled to the house.

Yennefer was just getting off the couch to go see what the loud popping sound had been, when Jaskier burst into the living room, clutching his forearm and wailing about having been stung by a 'big a** motherf***ing hornet.'

Geralt had waved off Yennefer's help for his hornet stings. They were only hurting a little now, and the itching was mild. His body was already fighting off the venom and healing the damage.

Jaskier was not so lucky. While blowing up a hornet nest had scratched The Itch in his brain, it did nothing to scratch the itch from being stung.

48 hours later, Geralt was perfectly fine, the three sting marks on his back looked no worse than mosquito bites, and they didn't even itch anymore.

But for Jaskier, things had only gotten worse.

He'd woken up that morning, convinced that he was having a terrible allergic reaction and was going to die.

He'd run, screaming, into Yennefer's bedroom and jumped into her bed to start rather ungently shaking her awake.

"Yen, Yen wake up! Wake the f**k up!!!"

"What the h*ll, you f***ing plum!"

"Look at my f***ing hand!" *Shoves hand in her face* "I'm allergic to hornets! The swelling's gone up to my d*mn elbow! It's going to go up to my throat and I'm going to die!"

Not only was his hand swollen up like a blown up latex glove, but his whole forearm was as well.

"Get your ballooned up tw*t ticklers out of my face!"

"Look at my--!"

"You aren't allergic! It's just a generalized reaction! It's normal, for chrissake!"

"It's normal for it to look like a f***ing Mickey Mouse hand?" Jaskier asked sarcastically.

Yennefer burst out laughing. She couldn't help it. The comparison was just too perfect. It was exactly what his hand and arm looked like.

"Yes, you n*b jockey!", she said, her expression softening as she reached over to play soothingly with the hair at the nape of his neck. "You're going to be fine, I promise." She leaned over and kissed his cheek. "Now get the f**k out of my bed!"

Fears assuaged, Jaskier went downstairs to get some breakfast, and spent the next few days terrorizing Geralt with his Mickey Mouse hand after he found out that the way it looked and felt gave the Witcher the Ick when it touched him.

[slaasherslut]

Same same same

Calder “Cal” Beachum Mixtape 🌊

Baroness - March To The Sea

Blue Öyster Cult - Subhuman

Mastodon - Seabeast

Rush - Fly By Night

Yes - Don’t Kill The Whale

UFO - Crystal Light

Black Sabbath - Children Of The Sea

Yes - Heart Of The Sunrise

Uriah Heep - Traveller In Time

Blue Öyster Cult - I Love The Night

Baroness - Sea Lungs

Mastodon - I Am Ahab

It struck me recently I haven’t made a mixtape in a while, so here is one for my totally real bf Cal, owned by @rottent33th! I love him 😍

[bisnes-socks]

The Big Finnish Music Project for International Kääryleet, part 3.

Go to part 1 for all the context. We pick up where part 2 left off, as the list is (more or less) in chronological order.

Turn of the century is upon us in Finnish music.

Nylon Beat

An iconic girl duo who were the it girls of the turn of the century. Two nasal glam girls, who annoyed the living shit out of most men, and empowered most girls. If you are old enough to remember the likes of Spice Girls or Britney, ou know how it was back then. Nylon Beat were our version of all that. This is their biggest hit, Viimeinen, from 1999. The video is hilarious btw.

Tiktak

More girl power! And these were GIRLS, they are like 13-15 years old in the linked video. They were huuuuge especially with young girls. Songs about very relatable things like friendship, girlpower, all that. If i rember correctly, Jere has used Tiktak songs in his instagram stories before. This is their break through hit Lopeta from 1999.

Bomfunk MC's

An iconic Finnish hiphop and breakbeat group. Referenced in Viulunkieli. Freestyler is a song that broke through and topped the charts in many European countries. It was released in Finland in 1999 and in Europe in 2000. An iconic video and a song that is basically every Finnish persons national duty to know.

Darude

Sandstorm. You know Sandstorm. I know you know Sandstorm. From 2000. So here, watch Finnish people partying to Sandstorm on New Years Eve in 2016, as we were counting down the minutes to kick off the year 2017, which was the 100th year of Finnish independence. Sandstorm is the logical way to kick off a special new year.

Fintelligens

You know Elastinen from Toiset samanlaiset. Elastinen and Iso H, aka Fintelligens, were like some of the OG's of Finnish hiphop. Their influence on pretty much all Finnish rappers is kinda undenible. I chose this song, because Jere also references this in his verse on Toiset samanlaiset: listen carefully at the beginning of this song, look out for televisiooo ja radiooo.

HIM

One of the most successful Finnish bands of all time, HIM is just an icon in the world of rock. Their influence on European rock in particular is also undeniable. They used to play Tavastia every New Years eve, it was tradition. Their logo, the heartagram, is still fixed to the ceiling of Tavastia. The singer, Ville Valo, has a well regarded solo career now, also known as VV.

This is their hit Join Me in Death from 1999.

Sidenote: back in the day there was a force in the Finnish music industry known as Dynasty. Dynasty was an association and a record label, and it was made up of the three bands next on this list: The Rasmus, Killer and Kwan. Their aim was to strenghten co-operation between bands within the industry. Dynasty is why you might come across Finnish people (like myself) to whom The Rasmus, Killer and Kwan are sort of a unit if you will.

The Rasmus

You've probably seen the photo of teen Jere with Lauri Ylönen from Rasmus? And you might have heard In the Shadows - probably have if you were alive in 2003. But I chose F-F-F-Falling, because this one was one of their biggest hits in Finland before breaking through internationally. Fun fact: the current guitarist of The Rasmus started her career in Tiktak.

Killer

Sadly no longer active, Killer was a pop-rock group that had a very strong run for about 3 years and produced nothing but bops and bangers. Not the most influential groups, but here because the song is a bop and because they were a visible part of the early 2000's music scene. This is their biggest hit All I Want.

Kwan

One of the most original groups in Finnish hiphop, Kwan were massively popular in the early 2000's. They were also critically acclaimed and well respected for their unique sound and style. They disbanded a long time ago but made a wee reunion tour last summer. This is their massive hit from their first album in 2001, Late.

The Crash

If you've heard pop music in the last decade, you've probably heard something Teemu Brunila has written. You might have even heard his voice, as Cherry from Studio Killers, but i think we're still supposed to pretend it's a secret. It was never a secret to Finnish people though, because we'd recognise that voice anywhere. Because of The Crash. An iconic rock group at their height in the 2000's. Here's one of their biggest hits, Lauren Caught My Eye.

End of part 3. The next part covers mostly metal but some other early 2000's mega hits as well.

[kristallbluemchen]

Okay! Ich hab Bock auf nen Thread für Nolin Songs (Happy, sad, destructive, hopeful, mir schnurz, alles was ihr mögt und für passend haltet!)

Haut eure favorites raus und lasst sie uns sammeln!

Love Situation (911) - Blanks

Ich würd‘ lügen - Kayef (irgendwie mehr Noah pov but still about them)

What you do to me - Blanks

love should be easy - Zoe Wees 

Hold on me - Ella Henderson

Back to December - Taylor Swift

Midnight Rain - Taylor Swift

You‘re losing me - Taylor Swift

Love lies - Khalid & Normani

Let somebody go - Coldplay & Selena Gomez

Letzter Song - Cro

Falling - Cro

Dich - Cro (OMG Leute! Hört den euch an und schaut dann noch mal Folge 1047!)

C'est La Vie (Graham Lake Edit) - Graham Lake

Scream - WTRGRL & Zhone

Just friends - Nuno Freitas

Gravity - Michael Johnston 

Just You and I - Tom Walker

Flash mich - Mark Forster (Ja, der obligatorische Mark Forster Song hat es auch in meine Playlist geschafft)

The heart wants what it wants - Selena Gomez

Sorry - Justin Bieber (fragt nicht)

Wish I could forget - SLANDER, Blackbear & bring me the Horizon

Dream Boy - Waterparks

Closer - Waterparks

Kiss me - Sixpence None the Richer

Smile again - Blackbear

You be love - Avicii ft. Billy Raffoul

Miss you - Oliver Tree & Robin Schulz

Lost without you - Kygo & Dean Lewis

Unendlichkeit - MilleniumKid & JBS

Mit dir - MilleniumKid

Dir ist es egal - MilleniumKid (AUA)

Until I found you - Steven Sanchez & Em Beihold (unser inoffizieller Endgame Song 💔)

Heaven - Bryan Adams

When you‘re gone - Bryan Adams ft. Melanie C.

Please forgive me - Bryan Adams

It must have been love - Roxette

Listen to your heart - Roxette

Liar - LOWLIVES

Let Em Go - Matt Hansen

Break my heart - Matt Hansen

Without you with me - Matt Hansen

Dead the day you‘re gone - Matt Hansen

Where you belong - Matt Hansen

Can‘t stop loving you - Phil Collins

True Colors - Phil Collins

Weißt du - Rowli

Durch die Nacht - Francis

Close to you - Dayglow

Had me @ Hello - Luke Benward (don‘t ask aber der Song ist gut)

Mine - Michael Gerow

Broken - Isak Danielson

Don‘t think twice - Hikaru Utada (any Kingdom hearts Fans here? 👀)

Alone Pt. II - Alan walker & Ava Max

Falling stars - Fabian Schuster

Missed chance - Fabian Schuster

Strangers - Jake Cornell

Count me out - HART (not really sure about that one but it kind of fits?)

Clarity - Zedd ft. Foxxes

I‘d rather die - Lost stars (das ist so Noah!)

Vertigo - Lost Stars

Something just like this - The Chainsmokers & Coldplay

no more days alone - Isaac Anderson