#I was riding the glass onion highs while writing this

[dailyadventureprompts]

Mystery: The Inheritance of Old Havoc

 After earning the favour and trust of the up and coming orcish trade magnate Kardin Havelock, it seems your party’s next adventure will be crashing a potentially violent family gathering. Kardin’s aging father earned great renown and a noble title some decades ago for his work as a privateer, but has been cagey about who will inherit the title since the death of his eldest child. Fearing the rash action and jealousy of his siblings, Kardin has hired you all on as bodyguards and passed you all off as servants as he joins his family at a distant coastal fortress. 

Hooks:

This adventure can either be run as a oneshot, with the party made up of sellswords and trusted employees in Kardin’s enterprise, or as part of a larger campaign. With the latter option, I’d suggest having the party run a mission or two for Kardin first to establish their relationship, perhaps defending his cargo from pirates or sorting out the difficulties when a monster decides to make a home in one of his warehouses.

I primarily built this adventure as a living example of my “how to run mysteries in d&d” system, so if you’re interested, pop over there to see how this is run under the hood. 

Secrets, betrayal, pirates, witchcraft, and murder. All these and more await you under the cut as I go into detail about this mystery’s many moving pieces. I had a lot of fun writing this one, and I hope you enjoy it too.

Briefing: Who the party knows, and what they can easily find out.

Kardin is the youngest child of the Havelock family, largely overshadowed by his brothers and sisters growing up, he struck out on his own as a merchant sailor and has done quite well for himself trading in ports both foreign and domestic. Thoughtful, though ambitious, Kardin believes his father sees him as the logical choice in inheriting the family title, and has only withheld from naming him as heir for fear of his sibling’s reactions. 

Kazdak is the family patriarch, a widower of some fifteen years, about whom the title of Count hangs uncomfortably as a fine silk shirt on a grey brindled boar. A born fighter who’s been forced to resign himself to old age, Havelock earned himself the nickname “Havoc” in his younger years, by carving a bloody swath through the pirates who prowled the kingdom’s coasts and tradeways looking for plunder. Kazdak was so effective the crown awarded him with with a title and a generous pension, on which he retired after surviving a pirate raid that killed most of his crew. Since then Kazdak has been cold towards most of his family, distant in person and communicating mainly through letters. In recent months he’s taken to staying up late writing or staring into the fire, having only his new dog for company. 

Akado, Oldest of Kazdak’s surviving children and a captain in the royal navy, described as a swaggering brute by her rivals ( and siblings). Growing up Idolizing her father and wanting nothing more than to continue her family’s reputation as terrors of the sea, Akado became a soldier of the crown and has been collecting scars and trophies from various battles for the past twenty years. Captian Akado believes she should inherit the title by virtue of being oldest, but deep down fears that her father has deigned not to do so because she has failed to live up to his expectations, or the name of Havoc

Zaddak (or Zak to her friends) is the imprudent socialite middle sibling, who used her father’s title to catapult herself into good society and all the bad habits that comes with it. Living for scandal, over indulgence, and illicit substances, Zaddak might be a total writeoff if she was not also a prodigiously talented mage capable of wielding lighting and famously once rending a deadly hurricane in half before it made landfall. Zak doesn’t care much for the title of Count itself, but whoever inherits will control the small fortune Kazdak made in selling commandeered ships to the crown, which means they can cut her off from the money that goes to feed her gambling debts and various addictions. 

Alyo (deceased). Wife to Kazdak, put much of her ambitions as an artist and own life aside to raise their four children nearly by herself while he was off privateering. Beloved by all and encouraged each of her children’s interests while allowing herslef to fade into the background, silently suffering from an illness that took her life a little over ten years ago. Kazdak has the only portrait of her but has kept it covered out of grief.  

Dalyk (deceased). Kazdak’s eldest son who died nearly fifteen years ago while at sea. Born before his father set off in service of the crown, mentored Kardin in sailing and was swept overboard when a vessel the two of them were in was caught in a storm.

Sequence of Events:

Kardin and the party arrive at Breakreef lookout by skiff, the skies promise a storm, as does their employer’s on edge mood.  Kazdak meets them on the stairs as they make their way up from the dock and welcomes his son up, directing him to his rooms and the party to their place in the servant’s quarters.

The party is allowed to get settled and do a bit of nosing around while Kardin and his father catch up, talking to the servants (and potentially being roped into preperations), poking around the fort, and potentially running into the other siblings: Akado is on the ramparts inspecting the old siege weapons used to hold off pirates back in the day, Zak is bored and has sulked off to the foretower, using her magic to doodle on the clouds. 

The Storm breaks. Zak and Kardin have tea together and gossip, during which Kardin encourages the party to go snoop around. Akado, a canny judge of character has sussed that the party aren’t infact servants and goes to see if she can goad the most dangerous looking one into making a move, confirming her suspicions that they’re hired muscle. 

Dinner is a shitshow, Kazdak has the portrait of his wife brought out and hung on the wall making all the siblings feel uncomfortable and Zaddak has gotten high to deal with her nerves and keeps wandering in and out of lucidity. Kardin and Akado quickly grow tired of talking around the reason that their father has invited them there and nearly get into a shouting match over the matter of inheritance as Kazdak gets more and more evasive.

In the middle of all the chaos the dog starts barking and the servants panic, apparently a ship (not a skiff, but a full on brig) has dropped anchor outside the fortress and those aboard are currently climbing the stair. The doors crash open with a peal of thunder and who should walk in but Dalyk, clearly alive, flanked by a dozen or so rowdy pirates sailors, soaking wet from the rain and chastising his old man for starting dinner without him. Kazdak doesn’t seem surprised by the fact that Dalyk is alive, though he does take exception to the crew of armed miscreants currently dripping all over his hall. If the party isn’t careful here, Akado and the frightened servants might just start a brawl, which Dalyk seems more than happy to join in with, though their father will put a stop to things before anything comes to blows.

With a promise by Kazdak that all will be explained in the morning, Everyone retires to their rooms, with Dalyk’s crew posted up in the hall. The servants are all a buzz and the siblings are in an uproar, but Count Havelock is master of the house, and folk tend to follow his commands.  The party will have to be careful if they want to investigate, but creeping about in the dark will let them spy on the secret dramas that play out over the next couple of hours. 

In the dead of night, with the storm not yet abating, those still asleep  will be woken up by the cries of servants. Akado apparently sent them searching after Kazdak half an hour ago when she went to talk with her father but couldn’t find him in his quarters or anywhere else sensible. They discovered him in the disused tower on death’s door, passed out from bloodloss, chilled to the bone from an open window, and with a strange dagger carving a terrible wound in his midsection. The siblings demand to know what happened, blame and accusations fly, and if someone doesn’t start answering questions soon, it’s very likely that Breakreef fortress will see battle once again.  

Some time after the party have become fully embroiled in the mystery and each of the Havelock siblings have barricaded themselves in a different corner of the fortress , the Count’s dog will rise from its place by the fire, stand up, remove his magical disguise, introducing himself to the party as Deacon Riax servant of the witch god, and inform them that unless they want a lot more people to die, they’re going to have to have to ensure Kazdak Havelock dies before dawn. 

Mysteries: Things the party can uncover, with minor requiring only a little snooping but major requiring the party to win trust and gather clues.

 (minor) Both Kardin and Zaddak are terrified of Akado, who bullied them relentlessly as children, once going so far as to nearly drown her sister when she stood up for herself. This latent fear and Akado’s history of military sanctioned violence spurred Zak to learn magic in order to defend herself, and prompted Kardin to hire the party in the first place.  Who knows? All the Havelocks, the oldest servants.

(minor) Kazdak has known that Dalyk has been alive and acting as a pirate for years, having maintained a lengthy correspondence with his apparently castaway son. The Eldest Havelock sibling apparently wants nothing to do with the title, despite his father’s insistence that he return home. Who knows? Kazdak, and anyone who reads the many letters stashed away in his office.

(minor) Alyo was a follower of Wee-Jass, a forign goddess of power, death, and passion, working much of the witch goddess’s iconography into her paintings. This includes a skull-ruby medalion which she wears in the portrait unveiled at dinner, and which Kazdak has carried since her death. Who knows? Anyone with theological training that looks at the portrait or the pendant. The Havelock siblings remember the pendant but don’t know much about religion between them, and their mother was private with her faith.

(minor) Count Havelock has been having terrible dreams this past year or so, and has been in frequent council with a mysterious foreign priest by the name of Riax who comes and goes from the fortress without anyone seeing how. The servants often hear them talking, but enter the room to find Kazdak alone.  Who knows? The servants, though they’ve been sworn by their employer not to speak to the siblings of the red robed priest.

(minor) Both Akado and Zaddak are well aware of Kardin’s ambitious streak, and have a sneaking suspicion that their younger brother had something to do with Dalyk’s disappearance. Ruthless Captain Akado believes it far more strongly than the ever sympathetic Zak does.  

(minor) Though muddled by blood, rainwater, and the actions of hasty servants, the disused tower room Kazdak was found in bears signs of being used for some occult ritual.

(minor) After dinner, Kardin snuck out to talk to his father but had to double back when he say Dalyk walking through the halls. For his part, Dalyk maintains that he didn’t get to talk to his father, hearing him having a stressed conversation with an unknown voice through the door.

(minor) Akado will patch up her father using some field medicine and whatever help the party can offer. In her estimation, anyone else would have died from a wound like Kazdak suffered, but like her, Old Havoc was toughened by many years of combat and held on by a thread. The knife itself is odd, ornamental though still sharp, not her first choice for a murder weapon.

(major) Though most think he made his name and fortune as a hunter of pirates and raiders, Kazdak supplemented his commission by engaging in the crown-sanctioned persecution of a local coastal people known as the Valtal, destroying their villages to push them out of land the kingdom wanted to occupy. An old man no longer proud of the bloody deeds that won him his title, guilt ways heavily upon the Count, doubly so that the navy continues his brutality as a matter of policy. Who knows? Kazdak, Dalyk and Akado, though she takes pride in being the hobnailed boot of the state.

(major) Lost at sea, Dalyk was taken in by the very people his father was set to exterminate, Outlaws and Valtal people forced into piracy through desperation. He rose in their ranks, and eventually married into their culture, renouncing his father’s name and swearing an enmity against the royal navy. Who knows? Dalyk and Kazdak, though the Count thinks he can convince his son to come back.

(major) Kazdak’s dreams are symptoms of a fiend’s bargin coming due, a thing of violence and fear that had been feeding off his evil deeds for years before he was struck down in a clash with pirates. On the edge of death and with a mouth full of blood, Kazdak wished more than anything to see his family again, which the fiend took as terms, driving its talons into his soul to afix it to his body until his flesh could heal. Dwelling on this unwitting pact during his recovery and long journey home, Kazdak developed a fear that if he ever saw his family all at once, wife and children together, that the fiend would take them in his place. Avoidance worked for many years, until dreams of his children’s violent death convinced him that the fiend was tired of waiting for him to fall into its trap.  Finding no solace in local temples, the Count sought out a priest of his departed wife’s god and enlisted his help. Together, he and Deacon Riax formulated a plan, gather his family and subvert the pact by performing a blood sacrifice before the demon could claim his due on the anniversary of Kazdak’s averted death. This likely would have worked had Old Havoc not been so hardy, or had his body not been found. Now time is running out and the only way to avert disaster is for the party to finish Kazdak’s self-assassination. Who Knows? Kazdak (unconsious) and Riax ( disguised as a dog)

From there the story branches: None of the siblings will be on board with killing their father and will likely think that any explination as to why is part of a botched scheme orchestrated by one of the others. Zak or Dalyk could possibly be convinced to help and Kardin might step aside, but Akado will hold out until the end. Right up until dawn breaks, the fiend possesses her father’s exhanguinated body, and snaps her neck.  Unless somehow exorsized, it will persist until it has killed each of the Havelock siblings, then retreat allowing Kazdak see his family one last time before his body gives out from under him.  A tragedy the party will be hardpressed to prevent unless they are lucky, tactful, and act very quickly on the words of a man who was pretending to be a dog for most of the last week.

[kitchfit]

Year in Review: Movies Part 1

I don't have that great of an attention span. If its something I am invested in I can spend hours upon hours reading or playing through it until I get a headache telling me its time for bed, but if something doesn't hook me after around 30 minutes I'm probably turning it off or putting it down for a bit. It is for this reason I don't finish a lot of movies unless there is another reason to watch through it all. Usually that means watching it with other people. If there aren't friends to help me finish this movie it's probably going back in the case, which I think is true for all but one movie on this list.

Glass Onion

Knives Out is one of my favorite movies of all time. I've not read any of Agatha Christie's works which is who Benoit Blanc is largely parodying, but I do love other things inspired by her such as Columbo, and the first movie is a stellar deconstruction of that genre, while still providing an engaging mystery. I saw this movie's baby brother at the dawn of the New Year alongside my cousin, both fervently pushing out trope appropriate theories only to be completely wrong at the twist ending in plain sight.

This sequel is not anything as elegant as the first, but still seeks to deconstruct mystery tropes in a very similar fashion. The mastermind behind a series of murders or even one murder is a role often given to rich, suave, and intelligent people of high standing. It is this role that Edward Norton's character sees himself as, but while he is a rich dude of high standing, he is a more realistic rich dude than most murder mystery antagonists; that is, an arrogant dumbass who got where he is by manipulating and screwing over everyone he can. He wants to be complex while being transparently simple. Also he smells. LIKE AN ONION. WHOA. ONE MADE OUT OF GLASS. THANKS JOHN LEMON.

A Silent Voice

A good way to get me to watch a movie until the end is to make it animated, that way even if its boring as all hell I still get to look at some pretty art. That's not the case with this movie. I first watched this on a bus ride when I was sixteen with one earphone on while the girl next to me held it up on her phone. That was a good memory, but seeing the gorgeous animation on the big screen was a nice treat.

I love the dynamic between the two main characters. I wouldn't say this movie is a romance in any real sense of the term, but is about a relationship. Both of these kids spend most of their adolescence admonishing themselves for hurting the other, believing everyone hates them for what happened when they were 10. This is especially tragic for Shouko, the deaf girl who did literally nothing besides exist and try to make friends. The fact that she blames herself for her bully becoming ostracized is even played as a twist, but its a very realistic mindset anyone can fall into. The theme is forgiveness of the self after others have already forgiven you, which can be pretty tough to do, especially when you've done some genuinely shitty stuff.

I also showed this movie to my mom, an ASL instructor and translator, cause I thought it might be interesting for her, but she lost interest and fell asleep after she realized it was JSL and couldn't understand it.

Puss in Boots: The Last Wish

My friends were freaking out about this film, one of them going so far as to watch it like six separate times within the span of a couple weeks. This made me expect it to blow my mind, but it was just a very well written, beautifully animated movie about a cat coming to terms with its own death. I think the drought of movies with good writing from mainstream studios really elevated this one further than it would have normally. It was nice to return to this character, having grown up with the Shrek films, and doubly nice to see his character arc being used to discuss a serious topic in a healthy way.

The central conflict is the most compelling aspect of the story, the John Mulaney villain and Goldilocks subplot are funny and entertaining, but the effectiveness of Death as the main antagonist is genius. The Shrek universe has always been a conglomeration of fairytales and folktales brought to one setting, and who is most common death metaphor than the big bad wolf? Or I'm sorry. Not a metaphor. He's just Death. Straight up. You don't outrun death or win against it in any meaningful capacity, and the story could only end with Puss' acceptance that he will die. There's no Sisypussing his way out of this one. Pussyphusing? Pfft.

X-Men: First Class

My dad and I decided to watch through every X-Men movie earlier this year. We managed two of them. They're good movies, most of them at least, but marathoning all *looks at watch* eleven films just never came to fruition. This one might be in my top 3 for X-Men movies, though. Xavier and Magneto's relationship has always been the most interesting part of these films, and this movie puts it front and center. Xavier's focus on helping his friend make peace with his traumatic past is something so genuinely sweet that ultimately empowers his greatest enemy. It's this understanding they have with each other, established in this movie, that underlines every interaction they have in the future.

The rest of this movie is pretty standard origin story stuff for the ensemble cast. How the Beast Became Blue. How Mystique Stopped Pretending and Became Her True Blue Self. How the Guy Who's Power is To Never Die, Died. It's fun for what it is but overall pretty generic.

X-Men: Days of Future Past

This is also one of the better X-Men films, not sure if I'd put it in the top 3, but there's enough time travel nonsense in this movie to make me giddy. I love paradoxical bullshit. This movie works as both a direct sequel to First Class, while also working in the continuity of the first 7 or so films. It's the Apocalypse, baby! Okay, not that Apocalypse, I still haven't seen that one, but we are introduced to one of the more famous fascist genocidal hellscapes to come out of Marvel comics. The story starts at the very end of this murderous crusade, only a handful of mutants are still alive, grouped together as a unit in some abandoned... temple bunker? I'm sure this is explained somewhere in the movie, but it makes a cool setting to fight for your life in.

Most of the plot, however, takes place in the 70s. It was a big twist in the comics that the girl who can walk through space without hindrance can also walk through time the same way, but in this movie Kitty Pryde can only send other people into their past selves, meaning it's once again Wolverine's turn to take the spotlight, because Hugh Jackman is more expensive than Elliot Page. It makes less sense, but this movie still has a lot of fun jumping between the past and future versions of established characters. Angry, passionate Magneto in his 30s vs the wizened Sir Ian McKellen Magneto. At some point the X Man himself gets to talk directly to his depressed, 70s incarnation. Not to mention Quicksilver is there, which is always nice.

This was the "Rogue Cut," which adds cut content about Rogue infiltrating a sentry factory to blow it up. The new stuff doesn't add a lot, but I did like her character from earlier films, so it was cool to see her again.

Shrek

After the joy of obsessing over Puss in Boots: The Last Wish, one of my friends insisted that we all catch up on the deep lore of the franchise, and go through every Shrek movie in order. Unlike with X-Men, we succeeded in one marathon through them all. The dude who suggested this also made the assertion that PiB: Wish was the first Shrek film to feature blood and cursing. This is patently false and I took immense pleasure in proving him wrong. *whispers* Shrek says ass within the first twenty minutes, don't tell mom!

The first movie got memed on quite a bit, but I think most people have come around to enjoying it in a genuine sense. It's a cute love story with a good message and funny fard jokes. I don't think the gross-out humor really oversteps in bounds, and it would feel pretty bizarre in hindsight if a movie like Shrek ever toned that stuff down. There were a lot of movies with "fairytales come to life and their rude and goofy," as their premise, (think Hoodwinked, another fun movie) but I think the style of the Shrek world comes off in the most endearing way. Or maybe that's just nostalgia talking.

Shrek 2

I have the soundtrack of this movie embedded into my skull. I had the CD growing up and would make my mom play it in the car on the way to primary school ad nauseum. I also had the entire movie with incredibly compressed graphics on my GBA. This classic film is synonymous with my early childhood, and it holds up really well. It's shorter than I remembered, but I think that's just because it's so expertly paced.

It also introduces our favorite fearless hero, who blends effortlessly into the main cast. All of the character's play off of each other really well, actually. The gags of a royal knight planting catnip on Puss or Gingy yelling "IT'S A THONG" to get Pinocchio to lie still get me. Not to mention the perfect fight scene scored by "I Need a Hero." Every studio with rights to that song have been chasing that high ever since.

Shrek the Third

Some people hate this movie with genuine vile and malice in their hearts. Maybe that's harsh. It definitely doesn't match the highs of either of the first two, but I still enjoyed it a lot as a kid and had a good time with it now. My friend noted that the first half of this film has a lot of funny gags that peter out in the second half, where the focus is on Shrek's complicated feelings on fatherhood. There are moments in the movie where I can tell it can't decide whether to write a scene with appropriate drama or make a stupid joke, which is odd as the first one balanced those aspects pretty elegantly.

This movie does have a sequence where the classic fairytale princesses learn martial arts from Julie Andrews and kick the bark covered asses of the trees from Wizard of Oz, all to the beat of Barracuda. Disney could never. I also like that Prince Charming takes a more central role as antagonist in the story this time around, which feels very appropriate for the setting. Justin Timberlake is here too I guess. Damn, I forgot about him. Sorry Justin.

Shrek the Final Chapter

This movie came out when I believed myself toooo olllllllld and MATURE for silly animated movies with farting in them. I had grown, and was ready for stuff like *looks at movies that came out 2010* MEGAMIND, an even sillier animated movie with still probably several fart jokes. I had a bunch of reasons for disliking this one when it came out, but I don't really recall any of them. This movie is pretty wild upon revisiting. Shrek pulls a It's a Wonderful Life with Rumpelstiltskin and is pulled into an alternate universe fanfiction where he never existed, joins an Ogre resistance and tries to get his wife to fall in love with him again. It's such a goofy premise with some fairly well constructed dramatic moments. It's also very good 3D animation for its time, which might be consistent with the rest of the series.

There's a scene where Rumpelstiltskin jumps off a ledge and makes a weird noise that I cannot for the life of me find on youtube, but it sticks in my brain for some reason. He's a pretty fun villain, overall, all of his scenes made me laugh. I think we watched the other Puss in Boots movie after this, but I fell asleep. Sorry Justin.

Ghostbusters: Afterlife

This franchise got reimagined with a new cast a few years ago, and for some reason became a controversial focus of American politics for several weeks. I mean not for some reason, it was really just sexism. Women? Fighting ghosts??? Only men fight ghosts in real life, everyone knows that. This movie, on the other hand, is a direct sequel to the original film and also didn't come out during an election year, so even though Girls do be Fighting Ghosts in this one, there was less outrage around it. It's a fun homage to the original, but doesn't acknowledge the original Ghostbusters 2 in the least, and that movie genuinely freaked me out as a kid with its pink slime that kills you.

The film focuses on the very autistic granddaughter of the late and famously autistic member of the original cast, Egon. She's a delightful protagonist throughout the story, working with the ghost of her grandfather to uncover the truth behind the natural disasters plaguing her Podunk town. There are also some fun new ghost designs our child heroes have to overcome. The supporting cast is serviceable, mostly focused around Finn Wolfhard and Paul Rudd's eternal struggle to get dates before the world is eaten by Gozer, or whoever. There's a lot of nostalgia bait in this movie. The OG Ghostbusters even make a Deus Ex Machina style cameo, saving Baby Egon at the last moment aside a CGI Harold Ramis that did get me to tear up a little. This whole movie was dedicated to him, which is sweet.

Kingdom Hearts: Back Cover

Remember when I said I was done talking about Kingdom Hearts for this year? No? You haven't been reading these? That's okay, I was lying anyway. As part of my full bodily integration into this series, I watched the entirety of the KH Union X Cutscenes interspersed with clips from the Back Cover movie in order of the proper timeline of events. This is probably the sanest way to experience this story. The original has you play a mobile game where you are updated on the plot every ten or so boring ass missions and then watch the movie as a companion piece. It's a pretty engaging narrative by KH standards, but its told in the most batshit way possible, which I guess is also up to KH standards. You can watch it here, if the embeds work:

The first part of this story focuses on a member of the Keyblade Guilds, who is slowly encroaching upon the reality that the organization they're apart of is tearing itself apart. All of the Guild Masters are in conflict over a potential traitor, and this suspicion eventually spirals into an entire war. The Master of these Masters, or MoM, is largely implied to have orchestrated the entire event. The second half focuses on the fallout from that war as the surviving Guild members try to escape the end of the world.

I got pretty attached to several of the characters and their ultimate fate, but I think this could have worked better as a TV show rather than a REALLY BORING MOBILE GAME. I guess you can watch it as a TV show, if you watch the video above in 30 minute chunks, and if you're okay with beautiful 3D animated cutscenes transitioning into kind of stale sprite art at random.

Alright ending this here. I didn't finish this on Friday as I had some other Things going on, so we're in for a double feature! Hopefully, I'll continue on the games list which will be out this evening. I'm writing these ahead of time so who knows???

[fleckcmscott]

To Have and To Hold

Summary: Y/N makes an oversight at work. The resulting extra hours with Arthur delight them both.

Warnings: Swearing, Smut

Words: 4,272

A/N: This story had been kicking around in my head for about two months, but I hadn’t been sure if I was going to write it. Then I read @sweet-nothings04‘s amazing Hand-in-Hand (which you all need to check out, if you haven’t), and knew I had to put it on paper. Thanks to her for the inspiration to finally develop this, and for the title, too!

If you have any thoughts or questions, please comment, feel free to message me, or send me an ask. Requests for Arthur and WWH are open! 

Perhaps it was the sunshine that stirred her. Or the horns of traffic on congested streets. The hammering of a distant construction site. The chatter and occasional yelling of passersby.  The hum of Gotham awakening.

Y/N blinked in confusion - how could it be so bright this early? - and squinted at the clock at Arthur's side of the bed. No numbers greeted her, just its blank, plastic display. Stretching, she reached to her left for her watch, in its spot by the beige rotary phone on the nightstand.

"Shit!"

Nearly knocking over her glass of water, she clambered off the mattress. Arthur had warned her the lights could go off in his apartment. Not often and not for long. But enough to annoy. Naturally, his building's shoddy electricity had to mess with the alarm today. When she'd stayed up too late. When he'd had to leave ahead of her to commute to the other end of the city for a rare winter gig. When her body had chosen to oversleep in the coziness of his blankets.

Her nylons had never been yanked on with such haste. Arthur had made coffee but she skipped it in favor of brushing her teeth. Pausing on her way out, she took a calcium supplement and grabbed a note from the counter. She read it while riding the wood-paneled, graffiti covered elevator: "Your presentashin will be great. You snored a lot. Good thing your cute. - Arthur." He always signed his name. As though she wouldn't recognize his scrawl. As if anyone else wrote her sweet, sassy missives. She grinned until she hopped on the for-once punctual subway.

The presentation he'd referred to was set for that afternoon. She was expected to discuss the evidence and court file for this week's contested hearing. Last night, she'd sat at Arthur's breakfast bar to compile the case's final details and finish prep sheets. Gently, she'd rebuffed his subtle advances. His attempts to draw her attention from work to him.

Excitement had been palpable as he'd hovered near her. She was fairly certain she knew the cause because it enthused her as well. In three and a half short weeks, he'd be moving in with her. They'd officially begin traversing whatever the future held for them together. Hesitation had been clear in his posture, his drawn shoulders when (after plenty of convincing on her part that yes, she really, really, wanted him) he'd finally accepted the key to her place. But since he'd added it to his own keyring, he'd brightened. Strode a little taller. Walked a little prouder. Touched a little bolder. As though the weight he carried had lessened, at least by a couple cinder blocks' worth.

At his slight pout, she'd decided to find a way to involve him. He'd perched on the stool next to her, rested his cigarette in the pink ashtray to the left, and taken the proffered exhibit stickers with a quirked brow. Y/N had handed him papers, which he'd added labels to for her to write on. Then she'd stacked them in four different piles according to type. It had taken longer than usual - she was faster alone. But the intimacy of sharing the professional elements of her life with Arthur (besides the office wear he liked, claiming it showed how "smart" and "pretty" she was) had tightened her chest. And the curved-up corner of his thin lips had reflected how pleased he was, too.

They hadn't been able to collaborate on everything, however. It was past midnight by the time she'd joined Arthur, who had retreated to the bedroom an hour or so earlier. He'd been sitting against the headboard, half under the cover. The harsh blue light emanating from the old black and white TV at the foot of the bed had sharpened his features. Deepened the set of his eyes. He'd stubbed out his smoke as she closed the door. "I taped The Honeymoon Game. We can watch it when you're here again." A beat. "If you're not busy."

"This is supposed to be my last big project for a month or so." Sighing, she'd gotten her nightgown from her overnight bag. "I didn't mean for it to take all evening." She climbed in next to him and threw her arm across his lap. "I'm sorry."

He'd been stiff. Unyielding. The telltale signs he was miffed or upset. But he'd twined her hair around his finger, let his touch fall to her brow bone. "It's okay," he'd said lowly, adjusting to lie alongside her. "I don't want to be... I'm not being fair."

"You don't have to pretend with me, Arthur. It's all right to be annoyed." Tiredness had pulled at her as she'd fought to watch the rest of Gotham Tomorrow Tonight. The contact of his socked toes to her bare ones had made her smile, though, and she'd nuzzled his bicep. "I missed you," she'd mumbled, then promptly passed out.

The squeal of wheels on metal tracks prompted her to sling her canvas tote onto her shoulder. Shaw & Associates was a short sprint from the nearest station. She was certain she looked ridiculous, running down the street in her high heels. But she managed to slip into the office with two minutes to spare. Once she poured herself a cup of joe and straightened her blazer, she settled in her cushioned chair to get started.

It was only when Matt told her he wanted to meet before lunch that she'd rummaged in her bag. And realized she'd neglected to bring the file. Recalled it was sitting on Arthur's kitchen counter.

Fuck.

Her nails tapped the wood surface of her desk. Excusing herself to the bathroom so she could go retrieve it wouldn't fly. Matt would send a search party. She could try to discuss everything from memory, tell him documents were still being gathered. But he wasn't that oblivious. She settled on owning her error. "It's at home." Her delivery was nonchalant.

He waited until she'd loaded her typewriter with paper, then responded wryly. "You're not supposed to take files home anymore. Remember what happened last time?"

She leaned back as he stepped in front of her. "There was the slew of family cases that came in. With Patricia on leave, I'm handling all our calls and mail. Not to mention paperwork on her filings. It wouldn't have gotten finished if I hadn't taken it." Snorting, she shook her head at herself. Heat bloomed in her neck. "Not that it matters when I don't have it."

Expression softening, Matt stuck his hands in his pockets and jutted his chin at her. "How long did you work on it?"

It was hard to discern if he actually cared about the hours she put in. Or if he merely wanted to gauge the possibility of her doing investigations off the books again, something he'd explicitly prohibited. "I don't know." She waved dismissively. "Three or four hours?"

He let out a huff. "You put in enough time already. Go home at noon. We'll get to it first thing tomorrow."

"I have a lot to do." Her eyes widened at the myriad piles of folders laying around. "And I can't imagine you playing operator."

"I've managed when you've both been in court or at appointments. Besides," he continued as he headed back to his office. "You never take days off."

Straightening, she wheeled her chair to watch him plop down on his leather seat. "I'm taking three days next month," she countered.

His glare contained an unequal mix of mirth and consternation. "Y/N?"

The phone started ringing. She succeeded in making one ear ignore it. "Yes?"

"I know you haven't forgiven me for that whole Renew Corp. thing." She flinched at the casual mention of the company she loathed. Of her failure. But she forced herself to listen. Matt picked up a pen and started writing. “Rather than being stubborn, try saying, 'You're right.'"

~~~~~

Y/N stood in front of the narrow, white stove, stirring the soup she'd thrown together using bouillon, carrots, onions, and pasta. Ingredients she'd found in Arthur's kitchen. Music poured, at a respectable volume, from the radio on the windowsill. Swaying out-of-time, she added a sprinkling of black pepper, one of the only three spices he had (along with powdered garlic and salt). Wearing a content smirk, she sampled the steaming broth.

When she'd left the office, she'd been frustrated at herself. Yes, she was human. Everyone made mistakes. But she wasn't the forgetful type. Particularly if someone was depending on her. However, as she'd stopped in Burnley for another change of clothes, hopped on the train to Otisburg, and pictured Arthur's reaction to finding her in his home instead of having to call to wish her sweet dreams, her disposition had improved. Not only would he have her for an extra night. He'd get a late lunch, too.

The click of the deadbolt and clank of his keys on the entrance table came the second she turned off the stove. She listened to his heavy exhale as his bag dropped to the floor and shut the door. In her peripheral vision he froze, then approached tentatively. She reveled in his delicate hold on the dip of her waist, the peck he planted on her cheek. The smell of greasepaint wafted to her nose. "I hoped I hadn't made this up," he sighed with what sounded like relief. "But your meeting."

She angled herself towards him, gaze roving over his red and blue plaid blazer. The painted-on smile. His irresistible brown curls, mostly flattened by the wig he'd worn. Fidgeting with the petals of the squirting flower on his lapel, she scrunched up her face. "This morning went to shit." She explained the power outage, the clock, her own stupidity at leaving the file in his apartment. "I've packed it. Don't worry."

His posture grew pensive. "Sorry. Maybe- Maybe we should have stayed at your place. Your building's better."

Him thinking her error was somehow his fault had to be nipped in the bud. "No," she said. "You asked to make more memories here before we move in together. I'm happy to do that."

He paused, long enough she could have sworn she'd heard the gears in his head grinding. "Are you in trouble?"

Not unexpectedly, he had put together her mistake and her early dismissal from work and assumed the worst. "If I wasn't fired for trying to stop the Waynes, it's going to take more than an oversight to get me thrown out on my ass." Her brow furrowed. She sneaked a hand under his jacket and placed her palm on his chest. "I just hate that I wasted last night for nothing."

Soft lips, slightly sticky with red paint, grazed her temple. "It's okay," he said. "You're here now. And I got to help you."

The balm of his kindness loosened her rigid stance. His zeal to assist her, to ask questions, to learn about every aspect of her branded her heart completely. She leaned into him, kissed the squishy fold of skin under his chin, and nudged his ribs. "Food's ready. Go change. I want to hear all about your day."

Arthur emerged from the bathroom within minutes, clad in his worn, blue house pants and toweling his hair. Dimples were on constant display while they ate. The glint in his eyes was the one he usually had if his act or a job had gone particularly well, if he was pleased with himself. Was the one starting to be an almost weekly occurrence. Was the one that made his green eyes sparkle and caused her stomach to flip. He inched closer to her with every sentence.

The kids at the new children’s medical center had liked Carnival, he said. They hadn’t minded that he’d "filled in" for Gary. The magic tricks had all gone without a hitch, and the clinic had provided the balloons, which was a savings. The nurses and doctors had been nice; they’d even asked for his card. He’d had to provide a slip of paper with his address and telephone number instead. But he was sure he’d be invited to perform again. And he asked Y/N for help writing Gary a thank you note for the referral, claiming, “You’re better at that than me.”

“You’re the one who journals every day.” Her bowl and spoon clattered in the sink. “And your letter to me was beautiful. Just let me proofread it.”

Soon they were reclined on the sofa, sharing the flat pillow he’d used when he’d had no choice but to sleep there. The tape he’d recorded yesterday was playing. The Honeymoon Game had been a casual watch before, he’d explained. Not a nightly ritual like Murray. Given that he had a girlfriend and was a boyfriend himself, it had become fun to view.

She was only half-focused on the TV’s talking heads. Her mind was drifting to moving day, which filled her with gladness. She examined the plaid walls, the white cream color ceiling, the knick-knacks strewn about in the glow of the setting sun. The lantern with an owl hanging in the corner; the green, plastic drawers by the television; the curio cabinet... They were all a part of 8J, but assuredly not a part of him. How much would he be bringing with him, she wondered. And what would he be leaving behind?

“With one sugar and a shot of milk.” Arthur’s lively voice broke through her contemplation. Ah. He was reacting to the questions posed to the contestants, and making the answers about her, as he was wont to do.

She nestled back into the pleasant warmth of his firm frame. “Three sugars,” she replied, confirming she knew how he took his coffee. They continued to play along, with him showing off everything he’d memorized about her, and her replying with what she’d gathered about him.

Eventually, he shifted behind her. Raised himself on his elbow. “How did you know you loved me?”

Her hum was soft. Short. Possible responses were multitude. She’d suspected she could fall for him early on. When he’d wanted to repay her for doing what anyone should have done on the subway. And the first time he’d had the courage to call her after they’d split a slice of pie, his slight stammer revealing his nervousness. Maybe she’d say it was how slowly he’d drunken his wine during dinner, initially squinting as he sipped, his inexperience with alcohol obvious.

But she chose to go with what she believed was truest. What she assumed he’d hear most keenly. “Before we slept together, I hadn’t been with anyone for four years. And even then, it was different.” His hand splayed on her abdomen, thumb dragging along the waistband of her green leggings. A delightful ache flared in her center. “When I woke up, I felt perfect.”

“You felt like you were perfect?”

“No, silly,” she laughed, batting his forearm. “I knew I hadn't made a mistake. I reached out to your side, first thing - I’d thought of it that way, even then.” At the sensation of his hardening shaft against her rear, she giggled. “You’d made me so happy. You always do. I wanted to you to bed me again.”

The round tip of his nose skimmed her cheek, and she shivered at the dip of his fingers into her panties. “I want to again,” he rasped, paraphrasing her. The grind of his length was making her light-headed, and she twisted her torso to look at him. “I’ve been thinking about it.” Cheekbones glowing, he averted his eyes. “Ever since I woke up.”

“My monthly started,” she said regretfully. His descent halted, and a groan of frustration left him as he lowered his forehead to her shoulder. She mused. While he was becoming more apt to say what he desired, it happened rarely. But she loved it and didn’t want to discourage him from letting himself be assertive. Would he be offended by her suggestion? “I freshened up before we laid down. I have a tampon in. There are other things we can do.” She pressed her lips together, hoping she didn’t sound presumptuous. “If you’re comforta-“

“I’m comfortable.” His mouth quickly claimed hers, opening on a sigh. The tip of his tongue laved at the seam of her lips, and his messy enthusiasm made her whimper. Leaving a scorching trail in its wake, his hand traversed to her upper leg, gliding over the crease where her thigh and vulva met.

Shallow breaths caressed the nape of her neck, stoking the heat threatening to consume her. But the studio audience blaring from the television’s mono-speaker kept wresting her out of her haze. She snatched the VCR remote from the coffee table and hit the pause button.

The tease of his fingertips at her dark curls caused the peaks of her breasts to stiffen. She gasped as the rough fabric of her sweater dragged along them. His fore- and ring fingers spread her outer lips and she shuddered. The leisureliness of his fondling didn’t detract from its intoxicating effect.

Though it was a tad rough. “You’re kinda dry. Hold on.” Swiftly, he brought his hand to his mouth and wet his fingertips. Y/N blinked at him. It was clear he thought nothing of it, which shouldn’t have been a surprise, considering he’d confided he liked going down on her. Still. Seeing this normally reserved man improvise so he could pleasure her made her center throb with need.

Y/N was doing her damnedest to get her leggings and underwear down. Arthur snorted at her spirited, failed attempt at kicking them away. “It’s okay,” he chuckled, pushing them off her ankles with his foot. Then his touch fluttered at her swollen folds. She arched into him, already feeling as though she would burst. Bent at the knee, her leg lifted until her foot was flat on the couch cushion, allowing him easier access. He took advantage, sweeping forward and back along the rigid line of her engorged clitoral hood. She rolled towards him subtly, her moans getting louder with each tap to her sensitive nub.

Still holding himself up, he cradled her head. "Your sounds make me crazy," he said lowly. Once his hips started following hers, faintly rutting against the flesh of her backside, she closed her eyes. Hurriedly, she reached behind her to yank at his pajamas. "What?" he asked.

"I want to feel you," she whispered. There was a huff and some fumbling. And moments later his cock was settled at the cleft of her bottom. She bit her lip, savoring the weight of him. God, he felt wonderful.

His fingertips whispered over her clit, daring to follow the edge of her inner labia. She heard him gulp. "How does it feel when we're together? When- When I'm in you?"

"Warm. Full. Like you belong there," she replied with a smile. That last part of her response must have been unexpected, given that his grazes ceased and he trembled. "Don't stop," she whined, placing her hand on his. "Please, Arthur. You know just how to touch me."

Groaning, he started anew, deftly swiping quicker and quicker. The undulations of her pelvis hastened unevenly, begging both for release and for their coupling to last forever. She ran her palm up her torso, kneading her breast and plucking at her nipple. He nuzzled at her ear, grunting low in the back of his throat. Winding her fingers into his loose waves, she tugged lightly. Her belly twitched. Her whole frame tingled.

His skillful touch. The love they had for one another. The noises he was making in the crook of her shoulder. They all combined to throw her over the edge, and a wave of pleasure crashed through her. She cried his name brokenly, feeling empty without him inside her. But he kept holding her, guiding her through the crests of her climax. She was gasping, struggling to suck in air. Surely, she thought, he could detect the thundering of her heart against her ribs.

Gradually, the quivering grip she had on his locks eased. The kisses he planted on her neck were open-mouthed, desperate. And he hadn't halted the ardent movements of his hips. Y/N turned onto her other side. Gazing at him, she raked his curls out of his face, caressed his cheekbone with her knuckles. His look was hungry, darkened with need. The creases between his brows deepened as her hand trailed through the sparse dusting of hair on his chest.

There was a youthful charm to this situation, she considered. To them craving each other but not completely joining. It reminded her of being a teenager. When she'd been curious and horny, but nervous and not quite ready to go "all the way" with her ex. Being with Arthur allowed her to do all that again. To relive those experiences, to explore and make discoveries with him. To fall further in love with him daily.

She tenderly pecked the freckles at the top of his sternum, nestled against the notch above his clavicle. "I'm lucky to have you."

He didn't miss a beat, even as she trailed past the ticklish spots on his flank. "I'm luckier."

"I disagree." She outlined the slender muscles of his stomach, the v-lines leading to his cock. Played with the springy, brown curls at the base of him. "Without you, I'd only have my work. Which was enough before. But not now." After a moment, she concluded she was being sappy. She had to change it up. "And I wouldn't be having the best sex of my life."

Clearly flustered, he muffled his laugh. "Really?" His blush was prominent, his grin ecstatic.

"Really." Groans short and sudden, he rocked into her touch when she encircled his ample girth. Her fingers danced along his shaft, marveling at the contrast of his velvety skin with how hard he was. Pumping up and down, she tugged at him, trying to match the speed of his thrusts. He nudged his nose to hers, gazing at her before his hooded eyes flitted to watch what she was doing. Then she looked, too.

The sight of him fucking into her hand made her dizzy with want, even though he'd just gotten her off. The crimson, swollen head glistened, slick beading generously at the tip. Y/N licked her lips and spread it around him with the pad of her thumb. Moaning sharply, he bucked harder. Her motions quickened, flicking repeatedly at the notch on the underside.

Demand was implicit in the grasp he had on her upper arm. And it strengthened as his hips' stuttered, becoming unpredictable. Ragged pants hit her face. "I'm- I'm gonna make a mess.”

"It's all right," she soothed. Keeping ahold of him, she lay on her back. He followed and settled on top of her. Whimpering her name, he rubbed himself against her labia. But she gently pushed him onto his knees and continued palming him, her fingers teasing the ridge on his erection. It wouldn't take long to make him come. She could see it in the clench of his jaw, the tightening cords in his neck, his abrupt, needy cries...

Plunging forward, he held himself in place, grunting, clutching her urgently. His release hit her abdomen, warm and wet, and she gasped, her body curving up towards him. The feel of him spilling onto her couldn't completely distract her, though. Not from the beauty of his parted lips. Not from the relief that gradually spread across his features. Not from the slackening of his muscles as tension ebbed.

Sweat had gathered on his forehead. A droplet ran from the end of a dark brow to his jawline. Then he kissed her, his mouth groping at hers. "I love you," he said. He gave her one last peck and sat up on his knees. Holding onto the arm of the sofa, he retrieved her underwear from the floor and wiped her belly off. "That was fun." He tucked his chin bashfully.

"I concur." She entwined their hands and sat, then stretched as she pushed herself to stand and walk to the bathroom. The washcloth he'd designated as hers hung on the hook by the towels. She cleaned herself, listening as Arthur started the show again.

A new round of questions was just beginning. "When you and your spouse first met," the host started, "what was your first impression?"

Arthur's answer was instant. "Nice."

Y/N said the first thing that came to mind. "Handsome."

She popped her head out of the room to find him leaning on the entrance of the short corridor, beaming at her with hitched giggles. He was probably waiting for his turn to clean up. Like he normally did. But she couldn't stop herself from staring at him. Loving eyes met hers and his brows lifted expectantly. "Yes?"

Smiling, she wrung out the washcloth and put it back in its place. She stepped to him with a smile and smoothed his hair back. The rush of happiness in her soul, one she wasn't even sure she had, enamored her. Not only at what they'd shared on his old, scratchy sofa. But at Arthur being Arthur. At knowing soon she'd get to sleep next to him every night. Build a life with him, one she hadn't dreamed of even six months ago. Nothing she could say seemed adequate. So she went with a kind gesture, one she knew he'd appreciate. "I'll make us some decaf. And I love you, too."

~~~~~

Tag list (Let me know if you want to be added!): @harmonioussolve​ @howdylilflower​ @sweet-nothings04​ @stephieraptorr​ @rommies​ @fallenstarsabyss​ @gruffle1​ @octopus-plasma​ @tsukiakarinobara​ @arthur-flecks-lovely-smile​ @another-day-in-chuckletown​ @hhandley80​ @jokerownsmysoul​ @mrscarnival

[malereaderinsert]

Wildfire - Part One

Fandom: Game of Thrones.

Pairing: Jon Snow x Male Targaryen Reader

Warnings: I tried to get the most accurate translations for this chapter, but it`s not 100% perfect sorry. Italic words: Dothraki and High Valyrian. Bold Words: Translations.

Aside from that there are no warnings (I know, shocking).

Word Count: + 7.000

Summary: (Y/n) Targaryen, was separated from his twin sister Daenerys on birth for their own safety. He eventually found his way back to Westeros in search of his destiny. But, will his growing affection towards the Stark bastard get in the way? 

Set on the beginning of Season 07, but I plan on writing until the end of Season 08.

Sub: (Y/n) your name. (Y/D/N) your dragon’s name. (Y/D/C) your dragon’s color. There are no options for choosing your eye and hair color cause you know, pure blood Targeryen, so white hair and purple eyes it is.

-

“Dany, you're doing it again.” (Y/n) spoke after taking another bite from the apple in his hand. His sprawled limbs occupied the entire throne, that was rather uncomfortable since it was made of stone.

Daenerys’s only answer was to give her brother an eye roll while resuming her pacing in the throne room.

“Don't speak with your mouth full.” It was (y/n)'s turn to give his twin sister an eye roll that was considerably more dramatic than her's. “You know I can't sit still when I'm nervous brother.”

“I still don't know the motive of your unease, dear sister.” At that the woman stopped pacing and gave her brother an incredulous look. “We both know the white wolf needs our help. The people from the North can be quite headstrong and I heard this Jon “Snow” is rather stubborn too, but he needs something from us and we can use that in our favor.”

(Y/n) rose from the throne and started lazily walking towards Daenerys with a smirk. “And I heard whispers that he's still unmarried and is quite the charming.” The man knew his sister was in need of a distraction. All she could think about was the damned iron throne. She deserved the best and (Y/n) knew more about Jon than he was letting on.

The northerner was indeed headstrong and stubborn, but the way he fiercely defended his family and men was something you didn't see every day. That, certainly, made him a great man and an admirable leader.

“You know I'm not interested in romance.” (Y/n) knew his sister was clinging to her past, to the love that was taken from her and to the son she could never have. And seeing the mournful look in his sister's face made his heart ache.

“I'm sorry. I'm just trying to look out for my little sister, huh?” The male reached out and tucked a stubborn strand of white hair behind his sister's ear while giving her a teasing smile.

“You were born ten seconds before me, ten! There's barely any age difference between us.” Daenerys had an indignant expression on her face but an easy smile graced her lips.

Missandei chose that moment to arrive in the throne room and the attention of the twins were draw to her.

“I apologize for the interruption my king, my queen. Your guest has arrived. Tyrion is greeting him at the beach as we speak.” The interpreter gave a slight bow after delivering the message and narrowed her eyes when (Y/n) started laughing.

“That's great news!” The man begun walking towards the door before being stopped by Daenerys's voice.

“Where are you going?” Her voice held doubt and apprehension at what (Y/n) was about to do.

“Well dear mandia, I'm going to greet our guest of course. The king in the North deserves a proper reception, don't you think?” Mandia = Sister

“He's not the king in the north, lēkia. At least not yet.” Daenerys tone were reprimanding, a tone she used a lot when speaking to her brother. lēkia = Brother.

The white-haired man’s only response was to chuckle and turning his back on the two woman that looked at each other with knowing looks.

“The king is going to ride (Y/D/N), isn't he?” Missandei asked her queen which responded with an amused and exasperated smile.

“You know how he loves dramatic entrances. I just hope he doesn't scare our guest to death and causes another war.” At the mention of Jon Snow the interpreter remembered something.

“Your brother has been very interested in the bastard, don't you think?” The ex-slave was trusted enough by her queen to have that kind of conversation.

“What do you mean?” Daenerys asked while eyeing her friend with interest.

“He's been asking for many whispers about the man, and a lot of them aren't about politics.” Missandei grinned when her queen understood the implications of the information. “And if I might say, he is indeed very handsome.” The woman gave a shy smile which was responded with a curious and surprised one from Daenerys.

“Come, you must tell me everything. Is he as short as they say…?” The queen and her interpreter proceeded with linked arms out of the throne room.

The mother of dragons was very protective of her “older” brother, as he liked to put it. As a matter of fact, they hadn't even grow up together.

(Y/n) came back to Westeros after spending almost all his life back at what was left of the home land of the Targaryen’s, Valyria. But his identity was known to Daenerys, so when a man with white hair and purple eyes came riding on the back of a (Y/D/C) dragon she knew what to expect, but the moment still came as a surprise.

(Y/n) was a laid-back guy, with a sassy and cheeky attitude. He was instantly liked and disliked by many. Most men envied the king due to his swordsmanship and physique while the women would swoon every time he spoke.

The striking similarity between the twins was proof enough of (Y/n)'s heritage. They were quick in warming up for each other and soon became inseparable.

Daenerys made the decision to share the rule of the seven kingdoms with her brother, after he proved to have a sharp mind and “unusual abilities” that made him invaluable to their success. And she needed someone she could trust by her side and the queen knew she wouldn't find that in any other man.

So, it was only natural for Daenerys to know everything about the man her brother seemed to be infatuated with. She could only hope the situation didn't came between them and the iron throne.

(Y/N) strode confidently across the many stone halls of the castle until he reached the side exit. His crimson cloak was blowing in the strong wind that was coming from the sea, and the family crest embed in the metal of his armor, right above his heart, shone in the pale morning light.

The winds were getting colder by the day, but the young dragon had fire in his blood, it warmed his body and soul against the freezing air.

(Y/n) crossed rocks and grass until he reached the dragon nest.

On a burned patch of stone, surrounded by bones and other animal remains, stood four dragons. Two smaller ones, Rhaegal and Viserion. And two bulkier ones, Drogon and (Y/D/N), the latter being the bigger of the four.

Dany was afraid at first that Drogon would get too territorial and would eventually try to kill her brother's dragon, but the opposite happened. Both dragons turned out to be best buddies, if you could explain their relationship the same way humans do.

The four giant beasts turned to look at the man as he approached, raising and flaring their frills in excitement. Drogon got closer and gave the young rider a small bump on the sides with his giant head, his way of greeting.

“Is good to see you too, you rascal.” (y/n) gave the dragon a teasing smile and a few head rubs, then after getting what he wanted, Drogon turned back the way he came.

The giant beast bumped its head on the other dragon's neck and went to lay down not too far away.

It was (Y/D/N)'s turn to come closer to the man, lowering himself and silently asking for a head rub, just like Drogon.

“Someone's feeling needy today, huh?” (Y/n) reached with both hands and started scratching the hard scales. The dragon let out a puff of hot air that warmed the man's skin.

The dragon rider gently touched their foreheads together as they often did, and the beast made a purring noise similar to a cat, tough much louder.

(Y/n)'s magical bond with his and Dany's dragons was deeper than the one between parents and their children. He could feel their spirit and the fire essence running through their veins. Five consciences melding into one, becoming hard to determine when one ends and other begins.

The peaceful silence was broken by the young man that remembered why he came to see his dragon in the first place.

“Let's greet our new guest (Y/D/N). He deserves a proper welcoming committee.” The dragon let a sound that looked awfully like a chuckle.

The stories about dragons that mimicked their rider's personalities were very much true. While (y/n)'s dragon was playful and mischievous, Drogon could be as brooding and frightening as Dany in a bad day.

The young rider moved easily when climbing his dragon's shoulder, the action almost automatic.

The beast's huge horns served as a make shift ladder and soon the rider were positioned on the dragon's back.

“Sōvēs!” “Fly!” At the command, (Y/D/N) arced his back and extended his wings, each as brilliant as stained glass, and with a powerful movement they took off.

Tyrion and Grey Worm stood by the beach, the former had just greeted the bastard of Winterfell and his advisor Ser Davos Seaworth.

Dothraki men surrounding the four figures regarded the visitors with wary curiosity, they trusted their khal and khaleesi, but one could never be too careful.

“Come now Snow, it's time for you to meet the rightful rulers of Westeros.” Tyrion remarked while leading the two men through the stone staircase.

After a few seconds of hesitation, the Onion knight and the bastard followed the dwarf, with the Dothraki men right behind them.

“If you don't mind me asking Lord Tyrion, but when did the Queen's brother arrived in Westeros?” Jon asked while eyeing his surroundings. The topic of the male Targaryen was one that came in many conversations between him and Sansa.

Since his appearance rumors were quickly spreading to all the seven kingdoms, but what Jon and his half-sister knew was probably just that, rumors.

He couldn't deny his curiosity anymore, the man intrigued him.

“Oh, he arrived a few days before Daenerys and the Unsullied took the city of Meereen. He was actually detrimental to their victory that day. If you're concerned about his heritage, don't be. They're very much alike, frightening so. And something tells me you'll be meeting soon.” Tyrion had his eyes set on the horizon, right above the man's right shoulder.

Jon had just followed the dwarf's gaze when he heard a loud roar and a pair of giant (Y/D/C) wings blocked his sight. He could barely dive in time before being decapitated by huge sharp talons.

The winged monster took another turn, and Jon could only gape and stare at the creature with wide eyes.

The dragon finally landed on the staircase making the whole structure shake and blocking the way.

Jon's attention that until now was set on massive black teeth, each the size of a man's arm, snapped towards the dragon's back where an armored man sat.

Brown eyes met purple ones. The man on the dragon's back had white snow hair, tied in a single long braid that went past his waist and a playful smile graced his lips when he looked at Jon, sprawled on the ground.

“Aena Shekhikhi. Qhono!” “Good Morning.” (y/n) greeted his men, the Dothraki, and called the attention of the taller one that stepped as closer to the dragon as he could. “Zhey qoy qoyi! Hash yer dothrae chek asshekh? Chek?” “Blood of my blood! How are you feeling today? Better?” The dragon rider asked the man, that bowed respectfully. 

“Anha dothrak chek asshekh, Khal vezhven.”  “I feel well today, great Khal.” Since arriving on the island, a large number of riders were getting sick, their bodies were not accustomed to such cold weather. (Y/n) was paying close attention to them and did what he could to speed their recovery using his medical knowledge, and other means.

“Akka zhey Moro?”  “And Moro?” The male inquired about the other rider.

“Mae's davra ale, khal. Vo afazh asshekh. Anha tih mae dothralat disse ajjin.” “He’s better, Khal. Not hot anymore. I saw him riding just now.” The rider's mouth twitched and (y/n) was pretty sure the man was fighting a smile, happy that he's fellow rider was finally getting better no doubt.

“Hazi davrae. Hezi davrae.” “That’s good. That’s good.” Sighted in relief. He had been worrying sick, and the good news were definitely welcome. “Astat mae tat jadat tihat anna. Haje? Akka zhey Qhono, zhorre yeri mahrazhi akka mithri. Yer tat davra.” “Tell him to come see me later. Okay? And Qhono, take your men and rest. You deserve it.” The young dragon spoke respectfully with his bloodrider.

“Ven yer astat, zhey Khal vezhven.”  “As you wish, great Khal.” The dothrak then spoke with the rest of his men and they began descending the staircase.

Only when the last Dothraki was out of ear shot did (Y/N) spoke, eyeing the man that yet had to get up from the ground.

“Lord Stark, it's an honor to finally put a face to the name. I promise the view is much better when you are standing up.” Jon seemed to come out of his haze when Tyrion came close and offered his hand.

“I'd say you get used to seeing them. But you never really do.” The dwarf shared his mind while giving the dragon rider a knowing and amused look.

Jon was able to recollect himself pretty quick and greeted the male Targaryen.

“Your grace, it's an honor to finally meet you too.” The white wolf gave a slight nod while looking from the dragon to his rider.

“If you don't mind me interrupting your grace.” Ser Davos came forth and spoke directly with the king. “You addressed Jon Snow as Lord stark, but that's incorrect. He never took his deceased father's family name and Jon is a king not a Lord.”

“With all due respect Ser Davos, from where I come from we never punished the child of the unfaithful. We punish the unfaithful. And we shall see about the king situation soon enough.” (Y/N) said the next words to Jon, and the intensity of his gaze almost made the man squirm. “You have the blood of the first men running through your veins Jon, you have every right to be called a Stark. And if that wasn't enough, your actions in protecting the north and your house speak for themselves.” Only the strong wind could be heard while the two men stared at each other's eyes.

(Y/N) could see that his words pleased Jon in a deeper level, maybe the man was just seeking approval and the young rider was happy to oblige.

“What happened to the unfaithful in Valyria, if you don't mind me asking your grace.” Tyrion spoke breaking the uncomfortable silence. The dwarf had an insatiable curiosity about everything related to Old Valyria.

“Well Lord Tyrion, let's just say there was amputation of certain limbs involved and leave it at that.” (Y/n) was the only one smiling at what he just said while the other three men looked at each other and gulped.

Suddenly (Y/D/N) advanced towards Jon. The man was caught by surprise, but still held his ground. It took every ounce of courage for him not to cower in the face of such monster.

(Y/n) could only look in surprise at the scene unfolding beneath him. He didn't detect any violent thoughts coming from his dragon just curiosity, so he only watched.

The dragon's massive head got closer enough to touch. He took his time inhaling the man's scent. Big and slitted orbs perused every inch of skin it could find before focusing on auburn colored eyes.

Jon did not blink or moved while the other three men watching could only gawk at the scene. (Y/n)'s expression was one of pure amazement and awe when suddenly an idea popped in his head.

Dany would probably ground him for life for even having this idea in the first place, but when did that prevented him from doing anything.

“Lord Tyrion, Aegon's Garden at this time of day is strikingly beautiful if I recall, and it has a lovely piney scent that I'm sure Ser Davos would find quite pleasing.” (Y/N) had a sweet innocent smile on his face, however Tyrion could see right through it, but knew better then questioning the king's motives so he simply nodded.

“I don't think that's wise Jon.” The old knight was quickly interrupted by the man.

“I'm going to be fine for now Ser Davos, you may accompany Lord Tyrion.” Jon removed his eyes from the dragon rider just enough to dismiss the knight from his services.

The dwarf went first to guide the way and soon the old man reluctantly followed.

When both men were far enough the young rider started to climb down from the dragon. His agile limbs made quick work and he was on the ground in a few seconds.

(Y/N) lazily walked towards Jon while caressing his dragon's scaled neck. Heat radiated through the thick plates, warming his hand.

“(Y/D/N) seems to really like you my lord.” The male Targaryen got closer to the man and was surprised that Jon stood a few inches shorter than him, a fact that brought a predatory smile to his lips.

The white wolf would be disturbed if someone else looked at him like that, but he just felt a heat spreading through his body that only worsened when the young rider started to circling him.

(Y/n)'s violet eyes roamed every inch of armor, leather and skin. His intense gaze focused on the slight blush on the other man's cheeks and ears, making them even more vivid. Inching his nose a little closer to the man, (y/n) breathed his scent in, which was earthy and reminded him of freshly cut wood, like the damp forest after a snowy day.

Jon finally was able to fight through the intense heat coiled in his belly that was clouding his mind and making his whole body ablaze. He cleared his throat before attempting speaking.

“Y-your grace, you've said earlier that you're from Old Valyria. Wasn't Valyria destroyed millennia ago?” As soon the words left Jon's mouth the man wished he could take them back.

(Y/N)'s face once joyful became full of sorrow and hard as stone. The man turned his back to Jon and looked up, meeting his dragon's slitted eyes. The immense creature stared down at him. Whatever he saw in those big orbs made up his mind.

He would trust a piece of his past to a man that he knew nothing about, or only knew what his dreams had shown him, and what his spies had uncovered. The bastard could turn out to be the enemy depending on the reason of his visit, but a feeling from deep down told him that he could trust the white wolf, the same gut feeling that led him to his sister all those years ago. The feeling he learned to follow without question.

The truth was, (Y/N) had already fallen for the man, a man he didn't met until that day. But he knew Jon to be compassionate, brave and stubborn. A man that refused to stay dead when his people still needed him. A man that would sacrifice himself to protect the family that never returned his love.

Jon was about to apologize for his lack of manners when the white-haired man started talking.

“You probably already know of when I came to be. The story goes about a great storm, that wrecked ships and shook the very foundations of this island. Me and Dany were born during that storm, hence her title, Stormborn.” Now that the gates were open the words came flowing. “My mother, gods bless her, had what the Dothraki calls a bloodrider, dothrakhqoyi, as said in dothraki language. He would kill and die for her without a second thought.” (Y/n) finally mustered the courage to turn back around. His piercing eyes focusing on Jon's brown orbs.

“That Dothrak warrior I talked to a few moments ago is one of those, my bloodrider, Qhono. Every respected Khal and khaleesi have a few warriors that had pledge their life and service to them. I'm really lucky to have two of those warriors, Moro and Qhono. We didn't come from the same womb, but they're blood of my blood nonetheless.”

“It amazes me how the Dothraki followed you and your sister here, your grace. From what I've heard they are not very fond of the sea.” After the north proclaimed him as King, Jon was set on a quest to know everything he could about his potential “enemies”, and that included the Horse Lords.

“They are not. But they are a strong people that value strength above all. When I arrived things were hard, they were wary of the new comer which is understandable.” (y/n) talked about those times with fondness, his eyes became distant probably remembering something from the past. “In time, after many battles fought, I proved my worth. Some of them died in the process, as their culture dictate, but then I became their Khal. My greatest honor. A day I'll never forget.” The man's purple eyes were glistening in the pale light of the rising sun, but he quickly wiped the tears away.

“Your grace seems to really care about the Dothraki.” The, even though they are not really your people part was left unsaid by Jon.

“They are my people. Dany tends to forget that they are her's too. I would give up everything for them, even my own life.” (Y/n) stated with such raw honesty that the bastard had no doubt the man was telling the truth. Jon felt his stomach fluttering and his heart swelled in admiration.

The bastard didn't know from where those feelings were coming from, but he smiled through the confusion making the other man frown.

“As a true king should do.” (y/n) stared into the man's eyes, that were a deep, earthy brown — the color of earth after torrential rains.

“I'm right to assume you would do the same for the north, Lord Stark?” The young rider asked, his soft lips stretching into a smile that didn't quite reach his violet eyes. The bastard thought he would never get used to be called like that, but it would be a lie if the man said he didn't like it.

“Without a second thought.” Jon answered with no hesitation and (y/n) had no choice but believe him.

“I hope we never come to that.” The king replied giving Jon a sad smile, one the man mirrored.

(Y/n) started climbing the stone steps that would eventually lead them to the castle. Jon followed close behind and soon they were faced with a giant (Y/D/C) dragon. The young rider gently caressed the smooth and hard scales.

“Jikagon hae se jelmio.” “Go like the wind.” The words were said to the dragon that after nuzzling his rider's hand took off towards the cliff. The two men stood there, silently watching the immense beast flying away, well (Y/n) was at least. Jon's eyes were admiring the man's profile. The dragon rider had a soft expression, making his eyes less intense and more peaceful. This look suited him better, Jon thought.

It was time for the bastard to blush again when the male Targaryen realized the man was staring. With a soft and teasing smile (Y/N) got closer. 

“It's amazing how a man that faced the frozen hard winter of the north, can blush with just a cold breeze.” The young rider reached with his fingers, caressing the other man's cheek that was like ice to the touch.

Jon closed his eyes and breathed a heavy sigh. He couldn't remember the last time someone touched him without ill intentions. And the ones who actually did it caused him great pain, physically and otherwise, and he had the scars to prove it.

But (Y/n) touch, despise his teasing tone, was gentle and radiated warmth. A warmth that Jon didn't know he craved until he had a taste of it.

“Or maybe is something else entirely.” Jon felt the warmth leaving his cheek and for just a second he chased after it before snapping back to reality. 

Jon couldn't look (Y/n) in the eyes so he focused on a very interesting patch of stone close to his feet. The bastard could feel the other man stare a hole in his head, which made him even more embarrassed. He was regretting ever letting Ser Davos leave with Tyrion.

(Y/n) didn't know Jon would react the way he did, but it was a nice surprise. The lord commander,  the man rumored to have come back to life, the king in the North, and he was blushing to the tip of his ears and all it took was a slight brush of his fingers. (Y/n) could only imagine how the man would react to a real touch, or maybe something more.

The young rider finally took pity of Jon and diverted his eyes towards the horizon. The bastard looked up when (Y/n) started speaking again.

“As I was saying, my mother's knight sailed to the continent of Essos a few months before my birth, in search of what was left of the Valyrian Freehold, now known as Old Valyria. He found great many things. One of those being, the stone men were not the only living beings residing in the ruins of my city. My people still lived, a few of them at least, and our culture lived with them.” Jon could only listen to the man. What he described should be impossible. Every tale he had ever heard about Valyria depicted the city to be nothing but ruins. Nothing could leave there.

 “He stayed in the city for a few weeks. Helping where he could, building trust with the locals, and making connections. When he returned to Westeros the war was already happening. The War of the Usurper, primarily instigated by Eddard Stark, your father.” (y/n)'s expression didn't betray any emotion as the words left his mouth, and Jon stared in confusion. “What wouldn't we do for the ones we love, huh? If I were in his place I might have done the same thing. The world would burn before anyone could laid a hand on my sister.”

“I know the story. It seems our families have quite a history.” Jon stated, giving a smile that looked more like a grimace than anything. The topic wasn't a pleasant one.

“Indeed we have. Much blood was spilled between our houses, but that's in the past. The sons shouldn’t be blamed on the mistakes of their fathers. I hope we can agree that our real enemy are one and the same.” (y/n)'s eyes were holding the wisdom of the words he left unsaid, and Jon could swear the man knew more about the reasons of his visit than he was letting on.

(Y/n) diverted his eyes before the bastard could decipher the information they held.

“Needless to say, my mother died giving birth to me and my sister. But before that, she instructed her trusted knight to protect me with his life, and they knew I wouldn't be safe in Westeros. The Targaryen twins would draw to much attention if we stayed together, making us easy targets.” (y/n) started climbing the stone steps once again, in a lazy pace.

“So, your mother's knight took you to Essos?” Jon inquired, walking side by side with the taller man.

“Yes, he did. Ser Willem Darry, the former master-of-arms of the red keep, led four other loyalists in smuggling my brother Viserys and Dany from this island in the middle of the night. They ultimately sailed to Braavos across the Narrow sea. I went next, with only my protector and a wet nurse. We took the route south towards the summer sea, arriving at our final destination weeks later, the Valyrian Peninsula.” Of course (y/n) didn't remembered any of those facts, but his caretaker told him all about those early years.

Jon couldn't wrap his head around what he was hearing, but something told him he should trust the man walking beside him, and that had nothing to do with his growing feelings towards the male, he told himself.

“How was it? Growing in such place, I mean.” Jon's curiosity wasn't academic like Tyrion's, he wanted to know (y/n) and for that he needed to understand his upbringing.

The man gave a humorless chuckle before responding.

“It was no place for a child to grow. But it was better then death, that's certain.” (y/n) joked, and this time both men laughed.

Jon's laugh was followed by small giggles that made his whole face flush. The laughter created a small vacation for both men, a blessed relief from all the distress that didn't seem to have an end. For a single moment Jon forgot about the night king, the white walkers and all the people depending on him. He lost the tightness in his chest. The muscles in his neck relaxed, and his shoulders sagged. He couldn't remember the last time he felt that good.

(Y/n) lost all sense of his surroundings. Staring wasn't quite the word for what the male was doing. His eyes rested, not unblinking but slowed; yet the effect was soft and inviting instead of harsh.

(Y/n)'s violet eyes focused on Jon's figure and everything about him. His hair, black and tied in bun, seemed to engulf every ray of sunlight. The male knew that underneath all the thick clothes was a powerful and strong body, able to withstand the cruel and harsh life of the north, and certainly marred with scars. (Y/n) never wanted more to strip the man bare, to break him apart just to… The male snapped back to reality.

“Ao mittys, ao mittys.” “You fool, you fool.” The white-haired man whispered over and over again between gritted teeth, cursing himself. He had done it again. A stupid thing, letting his feelings cloud his judgement. Tyrion always said he had too much heart, a growing rarity those days.

“Is everything all right, your grace?” Jon asked while his hand hovered above the man's shoulder, uncertain if the touch would be welcome or not.

“I'm fine my lord. It's just, I have a lot on my mind right now.” (y/n) answered with a fake smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. Jon let his hand drop while giving the man a slight nod, his brows squished together in a concerned frown, but it was not his place to call the king out of his lie.

 “Where were we?” (Y/n) asked no one in particular.

“Your upbringing, your grace.” Jon responded after a few seconds of silence; the man seemed lost in thought.

“Right, how death can be compared to my childhood days. Gods how I can be morbid sometimes.” The king gave a humorless chuckle. His past wasn't a pleasant memory but it had its good moments. For the most part he chose to focus on those times, the happy ones. And yet his mind had other plans.

“Isse iā dārion hen perzys ānogār, mērī se quba kostagon umbagon paktot.” The words came flowing from his mouth, as it did years before from his protector's.

“What does it mean?” The bastard inquired in a soft tone. He knew the topic wasn't a pleasant one for the man.

“In a kingdom of fire and blood, only the wicked can stay sane.” (y/n)'s face was hard as steel, his eyes grew dark and haunted, but he forced the words out. “My guardian told me those words when I killed my first man. I had no choice, it was me or him, and I didn't take pleasure doing it. For me life is important, more than anything, but sometimes death it's the only way.”

“I learned great many things from him, my protector, particularly the best way to swing a sword. But to survive in Old Valyria one needed more than a metal stick.” (y/n) responded while taking a detour, so instead of going towards the castle, both men were heading to the other side of the island.

Jon realized this and almost told the king he had taken the wrong path, but decided against it. If anyone knew how to navigate the island was him.

“Do you believe in magic, my lord?” The white-haired man asked while taking careful steps between the rocks that littered the ground close to the cliff. The question caught Jon by surprise, but he answered after a few seconds of thinking.

“Well, I heard old stories. Warlocks on Qarth, red priests capable of seeing the future by gazing into flames and pyres. Men who are able to control untamed beasts by entering their minds. There was an old woman in Winterfell that used to tell all sorts of crazy stories, and I've seen things that I can't explain too.” At that Jon stops talking. His memories flashing back to what he saw during his time beyond the Wall. White walkers, the wights and the night king. He knew that that was true, because he had seen it with his own two eyes. The same couldn't be said about the rest.

“A skeptic, my lord? I understand. You can't believe in everything you hear, you need evidence. I like that.” (y/n) nodded his approval as a slight smile tugged his lips. “When I was a child, I used to believe in all sorts of fairytales that my wet nurse used to tell me. As I grew older I discovered that some of those tales were false while others were very much real. All proved to be true: blood magic, fire magic, greensight, skinchanging and finally, the darkest of them all, necromancy.” At the last word the white-haired man gave Jon a dark look, a look that made his skin crawl and the fine hairs covering his body to stand on end. Could the king be talking about the army of the dead? That was the reason Jon had come to Dragonstone in the first place. But how could (y/n) know about what happened beyond the Wall, the Targaryen’s never ventured so up north.

“What your grace meant about necromancy?” Jon asked when he was finally able to move his mouth again.

“Patience my lord. I have a feeling that all your questions will be answered soon.” The male twin replied giving Jon an enigmatic grin.

Soon they stopped at the edge of a cliff, and both men admired the sight before them.

Four giant beasts flying in front of the rising sun. The dragons had a way about them, a slowness and grace. Their immense leathery wings, each as brilliant as stained glass, blocking the pale rays of sunlight, casting the island in a dragon shaped shadow.

“They are beautiful, aren't they? How can you not believe in magic when the proof of its existence is right in front of you?” (y/n) asked the man beside him. Jon stared at the flying creatures in amazement and scoffed.

“With all due respect your grace, I don't even know how dragons are born, or created for that matter. All I know is that they went extinct hundreds of years ago and then suddenly they were back.” The bastard replied with crossed arms and a sarcastic expression, one that (y/n) couldn't help but laugh of. And damn it if Jon didn't want to hear that laugh many times more.

“So allow me to educate you my lord. Dragons lay clutches of eggs that are roughly the size of a human child's head, but much heavier. The spark of life inside these eggs can last for decades or even centuries, no one really knows. But the secret key to hatch a dragon's egg is made very obvious in my house words. Fire and blood.” The king then returned his gaze towards the flying dragons, while Jon took the opportunity to marvel at the man's profile.

“So you see, to give birth to a dragon one must have magic in their blood. The connection between rider and dragon can't be explained, it goes beyond our flesh. I would die for my ride Jon, as a mother would for her children. Do you understand?” (y/n) searing purple eyes focused on Jon, the man felt as if his feet were rooted to the ground, unable to move, he could only stare back. Whatever the king saw in those earthy brown orbs convinced him. Convinced him to show the bastard another piece of his past. “I want to show you something.” 

(Y/n) closed his eyes and gave a deep sigh, emptying his lungs. He focused on his dragons, their connection, and in their shared spirits. The man was able to feel every inch of scales and every shift of the powerful muscles underneath them. He watched from their eyes and heard from their ears. At that moment they were one. The same fire that burned in him burned inside of his children.

When he felt that their connection was complete (y/n) finally opened his eyes, and they were milky white. If Jon wasn't so engrossed at what he was seeing he might had fallen from the precipice. The sight scared him to his core, but it also amazed him. Of course, he had seen the same thing when he was beyond the wall, but this time it felt more powerful, more raw.

Jon could only gawk and hope the man couldn't see how much he was shaking.

“Māzigon.” “Come.” (y/n) whispered. If the bastard wasn't so captivated by the whole thing, he surely would've missed the moment when the four dragons started flying towards them. When the creatures were close enough to the cliff they dived towards the sea, dipping their tails and huge talons into the water. When Jon was sure the dragons would hit the rocky side of the island they extended their leathery wings, gaining speed towards the sky, only a few inches from where the bastard and the king stood.

If it wasn't for (y/n)'s good reflexes, Jon would had fallen face first on the ground. The king maintained a strong hold on the man's arm, keeping them both on their feet. Each dragon gave another turn before landing right in front of the two men, making the ground shake.

“Careful where you step my lord.” Jon looked at the man startled, half expecting to see eyes glazed white, but the foreign violet orbs were back and they were looking at him in amusement. “And now I scared you to silence. Great.” (y/n) chuckled while Jon diverted his eyes between him and the dragons, his mouth kept opening and closing like a stranded fish.

“H-how did you…? Were you controlling them?” The bastard spoke, after finally being able to form coherent words.

“Controlling? No. I was part of them, as they were part of me. I can control them if the situation requires, but is not something I would like to do. They are intelligent creatures my lord, more than certain men I know.” The snark comment drew a laugh from the bastard, that was watching the male twin caress the scaled head of his dragon. “They have affection for their friends and fury for their enemies. They grieve for the dead and rejoice at every victory.”

(Y/n) still had his hand around Jon's biceps. The male twin slid his fingers down the bastard's arm that was covered by hard clothing, the rough fabric was definitely made to protect the wearer from the cold.

Jon's breath hitched, all of his attention was focused on the soft feeling of the other man's touch, that radiated warmth even through the thick leather.

When their hands touched the world around them seemed to fade. (Y/n)'s hand was calloused but not as Jon's. His felt more like sandpaper, or perhaps stone, rough, unfinished and cold as if all heat had been sucked out of it. It suited him, the king thought, looking into his deep brown eyes, that held a gentle glint that seemed to reflect the corners of his mouth, which were fighting a shy smile. The male Targaryen brought Jon's hand up to his lips, the warm breath graced the man's fingers and goosebumps flooded his skin.

(Y/n) marveled at the harsh feeling of the man’s palm. A hand of a warrior. His lips caressed every callus and rough patch of skin, without taking his eyes off the bastard that had become a blushing mess. The king then took Jon’s hand, guiding it towards the awaiting dragon, that was still close. The irregular scales were warm to the touch, more so than the king’s hand, that was still on top of his, the bastard realized. (Y/D/N) nuzzled at the two hands in an affectionate manner, making both men chuckle, Jon in amazement and (y/n) in relief that his dragon accepted the man that he was, probably, in love with.

They were so immersed in the moment that Tyrion was able to sneak up on them. The only warning been the sounds of protest coming from the three dragons. Jon reluctantly removed his hand from the dragon’s warm scaled snout when he saw the dwarf making his way towards them.

“I’m sorry for the interruption your grace, but the queen awaits.” Missandei spoke while bowing in respect.

“Certainly. I think I kept you to myself for long enough, my lord. Believe me, you don’t want to leave my sister awaiting.” (y/n) said, giving the man a fake  frightened look, for which Jon responded with a chuckle. Missandei only eyed the interaction with amusement. “I trust Missandei to show you the way. I’ll be there momentarily.”

Jon gave the king one last lingering look and an awkward bow before following the ex-slave towards the castle. 

(Y/n)’s eyes followed Jon’s retreating figure for a few seconds before looking at his dragon and saying.  “Issa, kesi gaomagon bisy.” “Yep, we'll keep this one.”

[roswellroamer]

Day 8. February 6, 2020. Owaka to Invercargill (the long way). 275km

Woke up and commenced packing. When staying at a place for more than one night, most of the gear and clothes get unpacked so it takes the better part of 45' to reorganize and repack then reload and secure the gear in and on top of the bike. It was about 50° this AM so left a polartec layer to soften the chill and a perusal of the NZTA government site showed the southern route directly west to Invercargill was open. Yeah! We rode out about 8:15 and cruised on what was now a somewhat familiar scenic ride westward. We made it to Papatowai and once again, as we saw yesterday, there was a police car in the road. Immediately the pit of your stomach churns. Having checked out and a reservation awaiting in Invercargill for the next three nights along with the Burt Monro rally fun all contributed to some anxiety that we might not be able to make it happen. Every other thought was about the more than a meter of rain which fell in 48 hours earlier this week and where and how would ALL that water make its way south. But the NZTA site said the road was open! The officer was very nice and explained that we needed to return to Owaka and make a left turn at the Lumber Jack (last night's tasty dinner location). Then we'd proceed over a gravel road through the Owaka valley and up to Clinton and head west to Mataura en route to Invercargill. We rode back the 27km to Owaka and then proceeded through the scenic valley and westward to Mataura. We should've been more suspicious of the lack of bikes within 150 km of Invercargill. As we pulled into the central area of Mataura the main Hwy 93 was completely blocked by sand bags at least 4' high. Although the road was dry, it was apparent that floodwaters had swirled there in the recent past. We saw three other bikers who approached us and explained that they weren't able to bypass the flooding in town. It's heartening to wake up to What's App messages complaining/wondering what happened since I fairly abruptly ended my blog as I was just too tired to continue. (Richard!) At least I know someone is reading... I don't write this for others, mostly for myself to have a record of these adventures so I don't forget the little and interesting things that happen on a daily basis. One of the daily pics shows the sand bag barrier on route 93 and the fire/rescue folks who described for us the next route to take to attempt to get to Invercargill. We rode again eastward on the opposite direction of our destination to Clinton and found the only cafe open for a quick drink/bite and a bathroom break. At Clinton we noticed one thing right away. For the first time in days we were on a busy road (Hwy 1) and it was steadily streaming trucks and more interestingly to me, bikes! Now, with a brief stop, we joined the flow again towards the elusive Invercargill after a 170km double detour. At least we got some fantastic scenery and rainbows so no complaints.

The highway from Clinton to the next town of Gore has prompted a humorous gesture by the NZ transportation agency. They have a sign as you depart Clinton heading the 44kms to Gore that proclaims it the "Presidential Highway". 😆 Very funny! Gore was surprisingly large with loads of bikes getting gas and finding one of the dozens and dozens of restaurants there to eat. We continued on after passing over the Mataura River bridge where the railroad trestle immediately downstream was nearly submerged. The road continues along the river and was closed due to flooding so all traffic was diverted about 30km on a series of more western roadways and eventually we met up with 1 again for the half hour ride remaining into Invercargill. Mother Nature opened up on us for a while but only hard for 15-20 minutes and it abated just prior to entering town. We rode in by the much discussed transport museum and into center city. We got an apartment in a Quest building right next to the central traffic circle in the town's center. Fantastic location. Not a full service hotel, but a building of nicely appointed apartments with a front desk that is manned for check-in hours only. Only a couple blocks from both the Classic Motorcycle Mecca museum and then the other way to the famous and historic E. Hyde hardware store. The store that is not only huge but houses Burt Monro's workshop (behind glass), loads of vintage bikes on display interspersed with their merchandise, a full Indian dealership within and of course anything you could think of to purchase! The motorcycle museum was also visited and did not disappoint. Over 300 very significant bikes of marques that extended beyond my knowledge base. They also have in their basement a collection from a NZ motorcycle racer named George Begg who became a car designer (he didn't race the cars). He made stunning and well known cars which won races around the world. We decided to then ride out to the official rally site towards the beach. About 9 km to Oreti Beach. There was a tent and a steady line of people filling out registrations. I opted for the $60NZ rally pass which provides access to the rally site which includes camping and the vendor and food tents as well as evening entertainment tents. It also provides a 50% discount on all rally event tickets which are normally $20NZ (less than $13). I bought all the remaining event tickets. Drag races today, beach racing tomorrow, Saturday's sprint races and speedway races ending with Sunday's street races.

We toured the motorcycle safety tent and picked up some safety swag (earplugs, visor cleaning cloth, kickstand pad) and were then drawn into a discussion with a researcher from Australia who is trying to promote two things. One was a geometric design that allows urethane to be produced into a much more flexible design than the D30 armor. It is much more ventilated, flexible and lighter than the armor used by most manufacturers. He had printed it up on his 3D printer and it slowly crushes under pressure. Made great sense to me, hopefully more companies will adopt this. Also he was promoting "MotoCAP". This is a way of testing all motorcycle protective gear in three modes (abrasion, impact and a third one involving energy dispersion that I can't remember now that I'm typing this the next day!) in the same way that cars in the USA get a crash rating, clothing would all be ranked and consumers would be informed about which items perform well in which modes for their information. This guy is conducting the tests on various items. He did say that the Klim Badlands jacket (one version heavier than the Latitude I wear) was the best textile jacket they had tested to date since he saw me wearing my Klim. We strolled through the entertainment tent which was largely empty save for a stage and an official merchandise vendor. We got in line and bought a couple items to remember this event by in the future. There was also a food tent with 5 food trucks set up to deliver to campers and anyone wanting some unhealthy treats while on site. Who am I to talk! 😉 The drag races we're getting ready to start at 6 or so it said on the ticket so we rode the short distance over to Teretonga race track. They have a gravel road that connects the rally campgrounds directly to the track area so the rally campers don't need to put a helmet on for the short ride to watch the race. We strolled through the paddock area and saw a large diversity in the bikes. Some modified Hayabusas, some extended swing arm bikes with wheelie bars behind and some 150cc Vespa scooters rusting out! The drags were sponsored by Harley and we met the Harley agent in our apartment/hotel as she unloaded flags destined to the track event we were now attending. Speaking of unhealthy foods, we both decided to support the local netball team by purchasing a sausage from them for $2NZ. What a delicious bargain. Complete with Cole slaw, cooked onions and mustard and wrapped by a piece of bread. Best deal ever. The track was not really that organized. I don't think the first racers went off the line until 6:45 and it was not warm but the setting sun kept the hard chill away. Maybe it was 56° but very windy. In fact they discussed shortening the 1/4 mile distance due to the risk of blowing racers across the track but they kept it at the standard length. The races were fun to watch. Especially the unmodofied and less experienced riders with incredibly powerful machines that had difficulty keeping their front ends on the pavement. One guy went nearly vertical and somehow managed to save it! A grizzled biker with a nearly as grizzled brown duster unloaded his brown duffel from his shoulders and spent the time smoking hand rolled cigarettes by us. There was also a Maori with full face tattoo art by us. And some rubes as well. (Rich urban bikers) Varied bikes and diverse crowd. A little bit of everything here and lots of eye candy. Even saw a "new" Triumph Rocket 3 R down the street today. The guy should've cleaned it up! It was showing loads of dirt from riding in the rain. I just picked up my new Triumph Rocket 3 TFC two days before departure. I had placed a deposit on it when they announced over 6 months ago and I am very impressed with that machine... 🤩 Ah, I digress.

With the sun setting on the Twilight event, we did decide to leave before it was over after standing for more than 2 hours (no bleachers/seats) and the cold setting in. We found a mini market to get a few essentials for the apartment and headed back to town. After some vino and snacks we meandered down the street to find a cafe that was part of a hotel and we enjoyed a mushroom pizza and a beer before the day caught up with me and I was unable to put much down on the blog before nodding off.

https://www.transportworld.co.nz/motorcycle-mecca/

[thehomierobbstark]

Slow Ride

Pairing: Erik Killmonger x Reader [#TeamErikDon’tDateWhiteChicks]

Prompt: @eriknutinthispoosy would not leave me alooonneeeeeeee (love u girl lmfaooo)

Warnings: I wanna try something new with my fics where I put the warnings at the bottom so that if you wanna read the story and be surprised with the outcome you can. I’ll never put dubcon/rapeplay or any other fics of that nature with warnings at the bottom just because I want to be very upfront about that should I ever start writing those type of fics. But if you wid it wid it, peep the warnings at the bottom if you wanna know, or wait until after if you don’t.

A/N: This is...???? Idrfk what this is 😂😂 but its not good, just a quick little shit I put together last night and part of today. I dunno thats all I got, enjoy I hope?

This is for all my lil cute ass black gorditas out there rockin back fat, belly rolls and thick ass thighs that touch!!  x Reader is always gon be black, chubby, and sassy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Daddyyyyyyyy,” Ashleigh whined from her spot on the counter top, swinging her short legs back and forth while she watched Erik cook breakfast over the stove. He looked so fucking good in his black wife beater and grey basketball shorts, the keloid scars peppering his arms and back out on display. His dreads were up in a messy pineapple on top of his head, the only accessory other than the Diamond Cuban Link chain that hugged his thick neck being those damned gold rimmed glasses perched on top of his nose.

Wasn’t no damn reason for him to be wearing them in the house like that on this Sunday afternoon, but he loved being extra for no reason, and dammit she couldn’t deny how fine they looked on his ass.

And they weren’t even prescription! Which made her even more mad considering the fact that her blind ass owned two pair, one for night driving and one for reading, and she didn’t look nearly as good as that whenever she had to wear them 🙄.

Erik whisked away at the eggs in the bowl, adding in garlic and onion powder before pouring it into the hot skillet, adding a pinch of salt and pepper while he let it cook. It was hypnotic watching him work, the muscles in his back rolling and glistening under the soft sunlight that peeked through the balcony window into the kitchen.  

The sound of the bacon grease popping away at the egg mixture filled the room, and Erik turned the fire down low before placing the bowl and whisk into the sink and turning to finally give his baby girl some attention.

They’d both enjoyed a lazy morning, sleeping in til 11 and lounging around in bed for an hour or so while they smoked a couple blunts, letting the Pineapple Express and Hindu Kush cloud up their bedroom to create a comfy haze.

It wasn’t until Ashe’s stomach started growling that Erik decided to finally get up and make breakfast, hoping to fiend off the hangry monster that would no doubt rear its ugly head soon if he left her stoned and starving any longer than necessary. She was usually a sweet little princess, well, mostly, but hell hath no fury like a ravenous little brat like Ashleigh.

He thought making her favorite breakfast might help to keep the demoness at bay, but unfortunately for Erik, she had other plans.

“What you want on your omelette baby,” he asks her, nodding over to the bowls filled with various meats and vegetables for her to choose from.

She ignored his question, going straight in for the kill.

“When you gonna let me ride your face Daddy?” she gnaws at her lip, batting her eyelashes innocently while she scans over his face. “Your beard would look so sexy covered in my cum, don’t you think?”

Erik opens his mouth to respond, but drops his head with a smile and just laughs when nothing comes out, not at all expecting her outburst. Surprisingly, of all the kinky fuckery they’d both engaged in in their last 6 months together, face riding had not been one of them.

Now, he never needed an excuse to eat her like Sunday Dinner, but he also never heard her talk or act this filthy before. And on the Lords day of all days?

He wanted more. Had he known this was the kind of fiend that could be unleashed with a little Sativa and Indica, he’d have been blowing her back out during smoke sessions a long time ago.

“Unless you want burnt egg, I suggest you tell me what you want inside your omelette lil girl.” He crosses his arms over his chest in a faux show of seriousness, an eyebrow cocked while he stares her down. If she wanted to suffocate him between those big juicy thighs of hers, a beautiful way to go by the way, she was gonna have to work that mouth a little bit harder for him.

Again, Ashleigh steamrolls right over his words, not realizing he’d already peeped her game and was playing with her. That was the one thing she always forgot about when she was high as shit; she was unaware as fuck and it always took her a second to figure it out.

“Can I get you inside of me instead? Or, more specifically, your tongue inside this pussy?” She smiles devilishly, fingering the hem of his overlarge muscle tee she was wearing before spreading her legs wide to expose herself.

She wasn’t wearing any panties, which was typical considering she never slept in any, but what he wasn’t expecting was for her to already be so wet for him.

“Damn girl, how long you been like this?” Erik asks her, hissing at they way her pretty pussy glistened on top of the counter top, putting him in a trance. He absentmindedly reached down to his shorts to pad himself through the material, forgetting about the game as he zeroed in on his breakfast.

“All morning, Daddy.” She purred, snapping her legs closed as soon as she saw him getting too interested.  She finally caught up.

“But… you look busy. So I’ll let you finish.” Hopping down off the counter with a sigh, she saunters away from him, heading into the living room toward the couch.

“All veggies and no sausage for mine.” she tosses her order over her shoulder at him, voice laced with boredom now that the chase seemed to be over.

Erik kissed his teeth, flipping off the stove before following her and looming over her splayed out form on the loveseat.

“So you just gon dangle my meal right in front of me and then leave?” He asks her, reaching one hand behind his back to whip his shirt over his head, already getting ready.

“Whatchu mean? Your meal is in there on the stove, you better go get it.” She half heartedly points back in the direction he came from with the remote in her hand before aiming it at the TV to turn it on.

“Come on and quit playin. You wanted your pussy ate and here I am, now get up off this couch ma.” He moves to grip her legs but she takes one and places her foot on his hard chest, holding him back from her.

“Nah,” she dismisses him, a realization starting to form somewhere under the curly mess atop her head.

“I shouldn’t have to beg you to let me ride your face Erik,” she states, her words riddled with attitude. She was faking it, but the cute little pout plastered on her face made it sound damn convincing.

“Matter fact,” she removes her leg, her boldness coming back full force. “You should be begging me.”

The next few moments are tense as the two stare each other down, neither willing to give in to the others demands. Pussy was on the menu, and pussy was definitely going to be eaten, but the question of who would be begging who for it remained unanswered.

Erik steps forward, bending low to get eye level with his baby girl before snatching up her jaw in one quick motion.

“You gon keep runnin that nasty ass mouth of yours?” He baits her, already knowing what she’s going to say.

“Always.” Her lips spread wide, grinning like a Cheshire cat.

He returns the smile with equal enthusiasm, dropping his hand around her throat to sit down on the floor.  “Then come ride Daddy’s face babygirl.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Warnings: Daddy Kink, Dirty Talk, Face Riding, Bratty!sub, Pre-Smut

Tags: @kxnfuzed @sweet-epiphany85 @blackpantherismyish @huuniii   @wawakanda-btch @ljstraightnochaser@bearhuggingbaby @drsunshine97@hearteyes-for-killmonger@maliadestiny @lucidaquarian @theunsweetenedtruth@sicksadgen@louisdimuccis @blackchunkyqueen @ash-moneyy@blowmymbackout @buttercup812 @minkyomom  @softnani @curls-and-crosses @lunaerly @lovemekaycee @uhlxis @blackgirloneshots @thecaptainofamerica @wakandas-vibranium @teheeboo@scrumptiouslytenaciouscrusade@whorderofthepheonix @youreadthatright @killmongerdispussy@cawifornia @tchallamakesmeh0lla @siriuslycollins @panthergoddessbast  @blue-ishx@shesfromwakanda @amethyst1993 @bartierbakarimobisson @whoramilaje @muse-of-mbaku@eriknutinthispoosy @wakandas-vibranium @wakanda-inspired @thickoreo@allhailnjadaka @wifeyofnjadaka @hidden-treasures21 @killmvnger@tgigoldie @killmongersgurl @princessstevens @beautifulqueenflaws @cocooned-butterfly @chaneajoyyy @ange-sensuel@laketaj24 @chasingsunlight @vikkidc@shadowkissedprincessofheart @wakanda-inspired

IfIForgotToTagYouImSorryButIGottaRunAnErrandRNI’llBeBackSorry!!!!

[spongiform-encephalopathies]

In light of the update, I’m going to share a WIP that I started probably last summer while I was playing Harvest Moon like it was going out of style. 

Title: A Bountiful Harvest

Pairing: Jack Zimmermann/Eric Bittle

Rating: T (for language, sorry folks!)

Word count: 1485

Status: Unfinished

Excerpt: "What the hell did I just witness, Lards?" Shitty hisses to her across Jack, as if Jack can't hear him. 

"I think we just witnessed the most epic flirting since Rans and Holtzy had it out last spring" Lardo replies, leaning over in front of him. 

Shitty nods. "I thought that's what I was seeing, I just thought I'd make sure." 

"Oh, stop," Jack chuckles. "We were just introducing ourselves." 

"Maybe you were," Lardo says, sitting back up and crossing her arms, "but Bits over there was flirting." 

It's been two years since Jack first moved to the island. He started off with next to nothing: A plot of land riddled with rocks and weeds, poor soil, a ramshackle chicken coop, a barn with no roof, a hammer, a watering can, a hoe, and a dream. Thinking back on it, Jack realized that he had exactly what he needed, even if he thought he had nothing at the time. It was hard work, but it all paid off. He's got sixteen chickens, three cows, two sheep, a beautiful and fertile field, and a great fishing spot downstream from a waterfall.

He sells yarn, eggs, milk, and produce from his garden at the local flea market every weekend. The local tailor, Adam, buys yarn from Jack exclusively. The proprietor of the hotel, a man whom the entire town knows only as "Shitty", uses Jack's fruits to make liquor that he sells at the hotel bar for top dollar, of course giving Jack his fair share of the profit. His head chef Larissa swears by Jack's produce, having won the  cooking contest three seasons in a row by making dishes made only from fruits and veggies grown in Jack's field.

Jack had to admit that moving to the island after his overdose was the best idea his father has had in a very long time. Jack wasn't meant to take over the family business, Bob reasoned.

"You're meant for great things, Jack," he said to his son after he made his recovery. "Why don't you go out to your mother's hometown for a while? Take it easy. Find out what it is you need to do to be happy. We'll support you no matter what you decide."

His mother's hometown, he recalled from the few times during his early childhood years, required a long ferry ride. What he didn't recall was that it was a small island with an even smaller town in the middle of a warm sea. That it was covered in grassy knolls and lined with white sand beaches. That the townspeople were jovial, animated, friendly, and more than happy to help.

He never imagined that he could be where he is today.

Bob and Alicia send him letters and sometimes packages. He writes them every week to tell them about the newcomers, the fishing, his friends, and his ranch. He receives nothing but loving encouragement in response.

--

It's a warm fall day - sunny with a light, fragrant breeze. Jack has finished his morning check-in with the animals, paying special attention to the newest members of his flock: a goat, a foal, and an ostrich chick that he's named after his uncle Wayne. He divides up the eggs he's collected over the week into three baskets: one to keep, one to sell at the weekend market, and one for Lardo (Larissa continues to insist he call her by her nickname, rather than "ma'am" and "Miss Duan"). He's sure to remove any feathers and stick-on bedding with a light rinse, then loads the baskets into his cart. The milk goes in next, the large metal containers perspiring in the morning sun. Then go crates of lettuce, spinach, cabbage, carrots, onions, beets, and leeks. Lardo will have her pick of them before he takes the rest to market.  

There aren't many wild predators on the island, so he lets the chickens and sheep out to graze before checking that Belle, his most trusted cart cow, is securely harnessed. Then, taking one last look at the farm, he leads Belle and the cart toward town. Taking care to ensure that Belle isn't over-exerted, it's a good forty minute walk into town, one that would take him about thirty minutes on his own if he were just going to have dinner with Lardo and Shitty or visit with Adam and Justin 

When he and Belle finally arrive at the Samwell Inn, he unharnesses her and leads her to the small pavilion in back usually reserved for horses.

"Thank you for your hard work today," he whispers to her, patting her shoulder.

He then grabs a basket of eggs from the cart and heads into the inn through the front door. While Shitty would normally be behind the bar counter and Lardo would be in the kitchen preparing for lunch service, they appear to be having some kind of party. Jack stops just inside the door, wondering if the postmaster, Johnson, forgot to bring by a notice from them about the celebration.

"Jack, my boy! Come in! Sit the fuck down and have a drink!" Shitty calls from one of the tables in the dining area of the lobby.

"What's the occasion, Shitty?" Jack asks, walking to the bar to set the crate down for Lardo.

"Today's new arrival is a old friend," she explains, handing Jack a glass of orange juice. "Last of the summer batch. Your fruits are miracles."

He raises his glass to her, smiling easily, "Not miracles, just quality."

"And he's modest too," Lardo laughs.

Jack takes a seat next to Shitty and sighs, "So where's the newcomer-slash-old friend? 

Shitty grins. "Bits is upstairs putting away bags and things."

"Bits is…?"

"My apprentice," Lardo supplies, sitting down beside Jack and leaning against him. "Bits went to the mainland to train to be a pastry chef a few years ago."

"My ears were burnin', someone must be talkin' about me," a voice drawls from the stairs.

Jack looks up and feels like he's been kicked in the chest. Standing on the bottom step, wearing a pink apron over a powder blue button down and khakis, is the most beautiful boy he thinks he's ever seen. His smile is as bright as the sun, his big brown doe eyes warm as a summer day, and his hair the color of the honey that drips from the comb when he collects from his bees.

"Oh!" he exclaims, putting a hand on his chest. "You must be Jack!"

"You must be the infamous Bits," Jack responds, standing.

"Eric," the boy - young man, really; he can't be much younger than Jack - introduces himself, offering a hand. "Bits and Bitty come from my last name, Bittle. I answer to all of the above."

Jack shakes his hand, unable to hold back a smile. "You're from the South."

"Georgia," Eric confirms, smiling himself. "Though I think that we're a bit further south than that here. Where are you from? You have an interesting accent, Mr. Jack."

"Zimmermann," Jack supplies. "And I'm from Quebec."

"What brings you to our island, Mr. Jack Zimmermann from Quebec?" Eric asks Jack, like he isn't only just arriving on the island himself.

"Needed to start over," Jack says. That's way oversimplified, but essentially true 

"You aren't a murderer, are you?" Eric asks, his eyes narrowing in mock suspicion.

Jack laughs, "No, not a murderer. Just retiring from the family business."

"I see," Eric muses. "Well, seeing as how you aren't givin' me any specific answers, I'm gonna assume that you don't wanna talk about it."

He looks to the kitchen, then back at Jack. "Do you like apple pie, Mr. Zimmermann? Made it myself. 

"I love apple pie," Jack replies, grinning. "And, please, call me Jack."

Jack turns to sit back down while Eric makes his way to the kitchen. Shitty and Lardo sit, dumbfounded, on either side of him. Shitty's mouth hangs open, and Jack can imagine that his eyes are wide underneath his aviators. Lardo's got a knowing grin spreading across her face.

"What the hell did I just witness, Lards?" Shitty hisses to her across Jack, as if Jack can't hear him.

"I think we just witnessed the most epic flirting since Rans and Holtzy had it out last spring" Lardo replies, leaning over in front of him.

Shitty nods. "I thought that's what I was seeing, I just thought I'd make sure."

"Oh, stop," Jack chuckles. "We were just introducing ourselves." 

"Maybe you were," Lardo says, sitting back up and crossing her arms, "but Bits over there was flirting."

"No way," Jack scoffs. But he isn't sure. Shitty and Lardo have known Eric - Bitty - for years. They would know better than he would if Bitty was flirting. And even if he was flirting, what would that mean? Does he like Jack? Does Bitty find him attractive? From their reactions, Jack figures Bitty isn't someone who flirts much.

He's still pondering possible meanings behind their first conversation when Bitty comes out of the kitchen with a tray loaded with plates of apple pie. They're heaped high with what looks like vanilla bean ice cream and each is topped with a sprig of mint. Bitty smiles warmly when he places a plate in front of Jack.

"Bits, this is a work of art," Shitty gets out around a mouthful of apple pie. And Jack has to agree.

"Aw, shucks," Bitty chuckles. "Thanks, Shitty."

[madfatty]

this here and now with you is how - an mmfd fic No. 21

First of all, lovely anon, thank you for asking.  It’s been a long six months of me trying to write anything, and your ask gave me a direction to go in, so ta very much. I think this is a much happier concoction than my usual fare.  I hope that’s what you were hoping for.

In the interest of full disclosure “she’d start an argument in an empty room” isn’t mine.  I heard it on telly and it struck me as exactly the way Finn would have thought about her, so I’m borrowing it. It comes from S1E1 of Shetland. Another excellent show.

I cannot state loudly or often enough just how vital @how-ardently is to you seeing any of this.  She is amazing and I couldn’t do it without her. If it turns out that no one else likes this thing, I will be forever sustained by the little gleeful noises she made during our editing session. Erin gives great squee.

Much love and thanks to @bitchy-broken for some pertinent information, mainly pickled onions and Peugeot 205’s.  Turns out, Finn’s favourite is Dawn’s favourite too. Who’d have thought! Thank you darling girl. xo

The title comes from the Cure song, This. Here and Now. With You. from the album 4:13 Dream. 

I haven’t tagged anyone, save to thank those who helped, because interest seems to be waning and I don’t wish to assume.

I thank you for your interest. xo

this here and now with you is how

If you’d asked Finn that morning how he thought the day would go, it would be nothing like this. It’s not how his life usually works, but as he’s about to discover, the universe hasn’t completely given up on him just yet.

He’s spent the morning moping about the house, growing more and more disheartened with every passing hour, the prospect of the rave without Rae sitting heavy on him. He needs to find a way to tell Chop and the others that he’s changed his mind about going, without Chop making a big deal out of it and maybe saying something to Rae before Finn gets the chance to. He’s working himself up to calling her and seeing if she wants to hang out, at the pub or the chippy, or even here at his. He’ll walk up and down the high street for three hours window shopping, or sit in her room and silently watch her read all night. Whatever, wherever she wants, as long as it’s the two of them.

He keeps sideling up to the phone, as if he’s trying to take it by surprise. He picks up the receiver and dials the first four digits of her number before hanging up and scuttling back to the safety of the front room. To his great relief, attempt number eight is interrupted by a knock at the door and suddenly the girl in question is standing on his front step, shrugging her way past him and apologising for showing up unannounced. He’s had fantasies that started like this.

Rae tells him she’s had a huge, hurtful, screaming row with her mum, so awful that she threw some things in her backpack and slammed the door behind her, with no idea where she was going. She says she just started walking and before she knew it, she was outside his house.  She hopes he doesn’t mind.

Mind? Finn knows it’s bad and that she’s upset but he can’t stop smiling. She’s come to him. Not Chloe, not Archie; him. His face is starting to hurt. He has to drag himself away, offering tea so he can get himself together, but it’s no good; a glimpse of his reflection in the kitchen window while he waits for the kettle to boil only proves how horribly he’s failing.  

When Gary strolls into the kitchen on the lookout for a cuppa and a biscuit, Finn doesn’t even pretend to hide his excitement.

Gary knows all about Finn’s romantic woes, since the evening, not two weeks ago, when a very drunk Finn had come home fed up and forlorn after a particularly dismal night at the pub of not snogging Rae. It had taken very little prompting on Gary’s part for a weepy Finn to share the whole sad and sorry tale. He been supportive and sympathetic and a little damp eyed himself, so it’s hardly surprising that this latest development has Gary wearing a grin to match his own.

There’s an embarrassing but endearing bum wiggling dad-dance that would normally have him groaning, but all is forgiven when Gary offers to go and make up the spare room for Rae. It earns him a fierce bear hug and the last of the Hobnobs. The pair stop short of high-fiving each other, but continue giggling like three year olds. It takes Finn another couple of minutes to compose himself before he can head back upstairs. He really should be at least a little bit ashamed of just how pleased with himself he’s feeling, but he’s not. She picked him.

Before she can change her mind, he calls to tell Chop that there’s been a change of plans; Rae isn’t just going with them, she’s stopping at his (That’s right, Chop. Rae Earl is staying at mine. How’s things with Izzy?), so Chop’s going to have to collect Chloe, because of course, Rae will be riding with Finn. Even Finn can concede that the thrill it gives him to say those words out loud is borderline pathetic. He’s still buzzing when he hangs up midway through Chop’s razzing him for finally making a move.

The thought of her getting ready behind his bathroom door has Finn reciting starting line ups from the last ten Cup finals and trying not to touch himself.  He has to hold his shirt down in front of him quickly when she appears shyly at his bedroom door, all powdered and perfumed in the prettiest blue dress and leggings.  It’s an awkward shuffle past her to his turn in the bathroom where he’s immediately enveloped in a sweet scented cloud of her making, and he spends the next three and a half minutes moaning her name into a washcloth while the hot water runs.

+++

She’d start an argument in an empty room, he used to gripe to anyone who’d listen, but it’s mostly him she seems to argue with, and he doesn’t pretend to not know why. It was all his fault, them not getting along from the beginning.

He’s always been a bit shit about new people and by the time he’d figured out he’d fucked up, she’d decided she didn’t want a bar of him either, and the more he tried to fix it, the worse it got. Every time she’d make an effort he’d get all flustered and think she was taking the piss and he’d snark at her, earning her silent, seething ire and even the pursed-lipped disapproval of the gang. So he couldn’t really blame her when her response to his feeble, yet heartfelt attempts to make amends the next time he saw her was to snap and snarl and roll her eyes.

Thankfully, he stopped being quite the dickhead and she eventually took pity on him. Now they’re friends. He wants them to be more, and he wishes he knew if she did too. It keeps him awake nights, trying to figure out if she likes him as much as he likes her. It’s so hard to tell sometimes.  

It’s easier in his fantasies. She leaves no room for doubt there.

+++

Not an hour goes by where he’s not thinking about Rae Earl.  

The sun is warm on his bare skin but it’s nothing to the heat coming from Rae’s gaze. She doesn’t like football, she’s said it a million times and yet here she is, sat in the middle of a beautiful summer Sunday watching him intently, albeit surreptitiously.

It’s just a friendly kick-about with some of the lads but skill will always out, and he makes a blinding break down the length of the whole field. He’s so fast, none of his team can keep up with him and he has to go it alone. The opposition are so flummoxed by his dexterity that the goal he scores is inevitable and nothing short of poetry.

The tiny crowd of assembled friends goes wild and Finn waves humbly in their direction.

Out of the corner of his eye he catches Rae on the move. One minute she’s sitting on the sidelines pretending to read (he knows she’s pretending because he hasn’t seen her turn a page since he took his shirt off) and the next she’s walking straight across the pitch. The other lads have to run round her as she cuts a determined path directly to him. He’s all sweaty from scoring his goal and he’s pretty sure he smells but it doesn’t stop her. In front of God and everyone she wraps him up in the tightest of hugs. This time she uses both arms, it’s not just an awkward pat on the back and when he chances to squeeze her, she squeezes him back. Her breath is hot on his already overheated skin when she whispers, ‘I have to have you. Now. Fancy coming back to mine?’ He doesn’t even stop to pick up his shirt.

Or he’s sitting across from her in the pub when she goes off on one, her perfect mouth going a mile-a-minute as she rants and raves, holding everyone around her in her sway. She is majestic and unstoppable and everybody wants her. He takes a shallow sip of his beer, licks at the foam on his lips, and in a strong, sure voice that carries through the pub, says something inflexibly flirty and devastatingly funny and Rae is undone. She reaches for him across the glass strewn table, knocking over drinks in her haste to get to him. The pub erupts in catcalls and cheers and he smiles in the knowledge that every man in that room wishes they were him.

Sometimes they’re in his room, just the two of them and he’s searching for the perfect record to tell her how he feels. He’s spouting some insightful and practiced nonsense about the band or a particular song or whatever and she’s suddenly overcome by how smart and cool he is and Rae can no longer keep her hands off him. Many an album has suffered in this scenario, as she throws him up against the wall to have her way with him. No matter that the stylus skates heavily across the imaginary vinyl causing irreparable damage. In Finn’s mind, there is no sacrifice too great for the taste of Rae’s kiss.

That’s one of his favourites, because after the mind bending, body melting sex, it’s just them lying on his bed, the room full of music and his arms full of her. He can look at her as long as he wants. He gets to hold her, and listen to all her secrets and tell her all of his, and when she goes, he can still smell her on his pillow.

Finn’s got a million of them, lots of little dreams to shore him up and keep him going on those days when nothing else can.

There is a pain, a tiny little hurt, an ache that he carries every day. It’s sits in his chest, in his throat, in his belly and it belongs to her. It flares when she’s with him and it screams when she’s not. It’s not a sad thing, at least he doesn’t think so. It has a sweetness and a softness that soothes and comforts him. He wouldn’t know himself without it now. It’s how he knows he’s alive.

+++

The Lou Reed line drifts in and out, too impatient to wait it’s turn among the other thoughts in the loop tumbling around head, Bright blue and yellow. Green apples. Happy. It feels like forever since he’s held anything as sharp and real as the hope that’s filling him now, the promise of something wonderful a definite taste on his tongue. The road rolls out before them, straightforward and clear and he follows it eagerly.

What if he just keeps driving?  Down this road as far as it will take them and then onto the next, with Rae wrapped around him for warmth, for safety, forever. Into the dark, into another place where he can have this all the time.

He’s not going that fast, but her hands tighten around him until her fingers lock together and her palms are flat across his chest. She shifts a little further forward until all he can feel is all of her pressed up close behind him and the poke of her pixie chin resting on his shoulder.

Finn’s heart is tilted so far forward in his chest it’s up against his ribs and the butterflies in his belly are doing cartwheels. He may be about to black out. The scooter jerks and swerves. He can’t keep his eyes on the road or his hands still on the throttle.  Everything in him is drawn to the girl at his back. If he doesn’t tell her now, they’re going to crash. There’s a stretch of road just up ahead that’s shaded by an avenue of trees. At the first opportunity he pulls over onto the grass verge and stops the bike.

“What happened, what’s wrong? Is the bike broken?” Rae frets, as she steps off the back of the scooter.

“No. I… I just,” he begins, shaking off his helmet.

“Then why did we stop?” She’s standing there with her hands on her hips, her helmet still on and framing the soft roundness of her face.  God, she’s adorable. It takes him a second or two to answer her.

“You need to know something.”

“Are we out of petrol? Did you get us lost?” The worry is gone from her voice and she slips back into her teasing tone. Always teasing.

“No. We’re not out of petrol and we’re not lost. I need to tell you something.”

“It couldn’t wait till we got there?”

“No. I have to tell you now. While we’re on our own.”  

“We’ve been on our own all afternoon, you could’ve…” She’s still teasing, and he does like it, but there are times when he wishes she didn’t feel the need to fill the air with noise. When she’d see that he just needs a moment to get there and he’ll tell her what she wants to know. It comes so easy to her, she’s so sure of everything, maybe she thinks it’s easy for everyone.

“Please, shut up Rae.  I need you to shut up and listen to me. Christ,” he groans, “I can’t breathe.”

“Oh God, Finn.  Sit! Sit! Put your head between your knees.”

“I don’t need to…”

“Put your head between your knees, Finn. Breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth… slowly.”

“Just stop!” Finn’s hands fly up, a barrier between them, a physical attempt to stop the flow of her words. He might have been a little too loud and a little too adamant. He’s not cross, just desperate to get her attention. He’d hoped it would be obvious but from the look on her face, he’s doubtful.

He’s long been a fan of her facial gymnastics, he has an actual list of his top ten favourites and if the stakes weren’t so high, he’d be admiring the current set of acrobatics that are rapidly manifesting themselves into an impressive expression of outrage. There’ll be no way back from it if she gets a full head of steam so he’s got to get in first. It’s now or never.  

“What you need to know is; I like you Rae. A lot. Proper, full-on, hand-holding, snogging, you’re-the-one-for-me ‘fancy’ and I think you might fancy me too, well I hope you do, but I can’t tell for sure.”

There was a plan. He’d had a plan and this was not it. In all the time he’d practiced this, never once did he imagine that it would be happening by the side of the road. Shit. And now he’s lost control of his hands and his feet. He’s pacing up and down like a mad man and waving his hands about but he can’t stop moving.

“I was going to wait to see how tonight went, but today has been so amazingly perfect and I figured if I wait, I’m gonna blow it. I’ll do something or I’ll say something stupid and it’ll cock everything up and I don’t want everything cocked up, I’m sick of everything getting cocked up.  I just want to be with you, Rae. That’s all I want and I don’t want anything to get in the way. Not me, not our friends; not anything, because, because…” He stops in front of her, scared shitless because he could be about to commit romantic suicide, but he needs to see her face when he says this next bit, “I think we belong together Rae.”

He’s compiled a list (another one, he has many), collecting all their similarities like some cheesy TV detective in the hope that she’ll see they are meant for each other. He’d had thoughts of introducing the contents of his list gradually, over a period of time but he’s about to burn up the first four or five casual ‘me too’ conversations due to blind panic, because she’s starting to open her mouth. She’s not supposed to talk yet.

“Listen Rae, just listen.” And there go his hands again, waving frantically between them, without his permission “We’re the same, you and me. You bite your nails, I bite my nails too.” It’s not the strongest of openings, but he can still feel her hands on his chest and his are flapping about like landed fish and it’s the first thing that comes to mind.  The pacing starts again. “We have all the same posters on our walls. You can talk shit about music for hours; no, not shit, stuff, smart stuff, and music is the one thing I feel confident talking about because I know my stuff too. You always choose pickled onion flavoured Monster Munch. Pickled onion is my favourite. I’ve got a whole drawer full of tazos saved for you because I know you collect them.”

“You prefer Q to the NME and you think Select and Melody Maker are okay but Vox is a try-hard Q and you never buy Smash Hits ever,” he forces himself to look at her. Her eyes are so wide he has to look away again or he’s never going to get it all out. “It’s just for nicking the posters out of in the newsagents if there’s anyone decent in them. And you’re right. About all of it.” He’s rambling, he can hear it, but it’s so important that she knows.  He studies the flattened grass beneath his boots for a moment before he continues.

And, and… we dress the same.” He stumbles here, his voice breaking just a little because this one makes him giddy. They wear the same uniform, and it has to mean something. It’s partly how he recognised her. When he thinks about her red flannel shirt and how he has one almost exactly the same… the idea that it could be one of his shirts she’s wearing, that it would still be warm from the heat of her… it’s one of his favourite thoughts.

At some point, she’s taken off her helmet while he wasn’t looking. He’s looking at her now. It’s cooler here under the trees, but her face is still flushed. Her hair is flat against her head except for the bits that the breeze has stirred up. It’s caught the hem of her dress too and her frustration at trying to contain them both is evident, but there’s an underlying agitation he knows has nothing to do with the wind. There’s an anxiousness about her, something that says she wants to run. He rushes on.

“But it’s not just that. The sameness. There’s loads of things, Rae. How independent you are. You never just follow along and you can exist outside the rest of us.” His voice is lower, he’d been excitable with the urgency of the situation before, and it had all come pouring out at high speed and possibly top volume, but now the seriousness of what he’s saying sets in. He wishes he were physically closer to her, but she may not be quite ready for that yet so he stays where he is. “How smart you are, and brave. And fierce and kind. And how you look after everyone. How you looked after me the night Nan died. I don’t think I would have got through that night, or the funeral, if it wasn’t for you. Did I ever say thank you? I hope so. I’ve thought it a million times since.”

It’s no good.  In his room, where he’s practiced this a hundred times, he’s already touching her by now, but she’s still so far away. On shaky legs he takes a deliberate step forward and waits.  

“Have I said pretty? Because you are Rae, so, so pretty. Sometimes, when I’m looking at you, I forget to breathe.” He can’t breathe now. While he was speaking he didn’t dare look at her and now that he’s stopped, he can’t look away. Her hands are knots, one around the strap of the motorcycle helmet, which she’s banging painfully against her knees and the other, still gripping the hem of her dress, is clawing at her thigh.

He’s never seen her lost for something to say before. It’s probably the shock, which Finn can understand, as he’s a little stunned himself. It’s killing him not knowing what she’s thinking, but he doesn’t dare ask.

“Is this a joke? Is that meant to be funny?” she says finally, her face a sour twist.

“Jesus no, Rae. I’ve never been more serious in my life.” He thought he’d been very clear. What did he miss? What didn’t he say?

Well done fuck-face. Happy now? You’ve broken her. Any other time you can’t string two words together, now you can’t shut up, and she thinks you’re joking.

He’s not stupid, despite recent appearances. In the beginning, he let his wariness and his mistrust override his good sense and so everything that came from his mouth was petty and catty and cruel. Since then, he’s fought so hard for her to like him that he rarely says anything at all in case it’s the wrong thing. He’d hoped the impression he gave off is of the thoughtful, strong, silent type, but he’s afraid he just comes across as thick and surly.

Before Rae, he always thought of himself as maybe kind of cool, but she reminds him who he really is, some saddo teenage boy trying desperately, and failing miserably, to impress someone infinitely cooler.

It’s such a specific feeling, this thing for her that’s been growing steadily inside him for weeks now and he knows what it is.  He’s not sure if the feeling is enough though.  He knows he should tell her before someone else comes along, someone smarter, who sees what he sees and who can say the words in just the right way so she’ll get how amazing she is, because Finn’s been trying to tell her through touch when maybe what Rae needs is the words.

He didn’t mean to hit her with it all at once, he was going to take it slow. The latest plan, formulated in the bathroom while he got his breath back, was to spend tonight glued to her side, take every opportunity to touch her, to finally let her know how much he feels, but when he started, he couldn’t stop.

The hope that filled him and encouraged him to speak up wobbles at the look on her face. She looks like she’s trying not to cry. This is not how this was supposed to go.

“I… I’m sorry, Rae. I didn’t mean to upset you.  I’ll, I’ll take it all back if it’s not what you want, if I got it all wrong.” He can feel the panic rise as his world falls. He’s going to lose her. She’s going to break his heart. “I like you so, so much Rae, please don’t say we can’t be friends. That I can’t be around you. I know I’m an idiot and I’ve probably ruined everything, but please don’t say that.”

She’s fidgeting with the strap of her helmet but her eyes are locked on the grass beneath her. She’s quiet for the longest time, each second drags heavy before the next.  More than ever, he wishes he knew what she was thinking.  And the next moment, there’s that steel he knows and loves. Rae takes a deep breath and squares her shoulders. She stands more solidly on the ground. The looks she gives him is of reservation and resolve.

“Finn…” she stops. She starts again. “So do you mean you…” she swallows thickly, “want to… that you really… fancy me? That you want to snog me?”

“For starters.” His smile is small and tentative at first until his face gets the better of him and he can no longer contain it. It splits sharply in two. “I want to snog you senseless,” he confirms eagerly, “all day, every day, and buy you chips and make you mixed tapes and hold your hand…”

With each new declaration, Finn inches closer, until she’s within his reach.  He leans in slowly because she hasn’t said yes yet, and he doesn’t want to count his chickens. The helmet she’s still holding comes away from her grasp with the lightest of tugs. Finn throws it behind him and it bounces noisily off the back of the scooter. Oh so gently, he takes the tips of her fingers between his and smiles at their ragged edges.  

“Well, go on then, if you’re going to.” She whispers, her eyes crinkling. It’s a challenge, just like she is and he wouldn’t have it any other way. It’s one of the million things he likes about her, it’s on more than one of his lists, but what he also likes is that it’s coloured by a hint of nervousness that stirs a tiny hope in him that he may not be the only one who’s thought a lot about them doing this before.  There’s nothing but a breath between them and then there’s not even that. It’s the softest of touches, his lips on hers, and he’s lost.  

The pressure increases when she fits herself to him and it happens exactly like he knew it would. It drops like a stone down the middle of him, there’s a shift and a ‘click’, the last piece of the puzzle. Whether she realises it yet or not, she’s stuck with him now.

She’s got him caught up by the front of his jacket and the leather squeaks and sighs in the clutch of her fingers and he can’t think straight.  All the times he’d dreamed about her hands being on him.  

Her body against him like this is a gift he thought she’d never give. Her mouth is a revelation.  He searches out the softness of her skin. First the bits he’s learned by sight. He cradles the cool length of her neck, because he always wanted to know if she’ll shiver when he runs his finger from her hairline down beneath her collar. He traces the shell of her ear, brushes the apple of her cheek.  It’s a start and it’s perfect, but he wants to know all of her.

Finn bends himself to her, his grasp moving, greedily exploring. He’s hard for her and he wants her to know that it’s all her doing. He rests his hips against her and squeezes the delicious curve of her arse. He drags his eyes open to watch. Rae gasps a tiny ‘o’ and it’s devastating and addictive. She grips him harder, gently buffeting against him as if they were floating in a deep dark sea of green. She presses back into him with equal enthusiasm. She’s a natural, her mouth hungry and insistent, expertly drawing soft vowel sounds from Finn’s throat. He’s going to die here. They’ll find nothing but a little pile of ash and leather.

“Did I mention inappropriate touching? I meant to.” He murmurs, barely moving his mouth from her mouth. “Lots and lots of...”

“Walk before you run, okay Nelson? Let’s see how the kissing thing goes, shall we?” she chides him, before she falls on him again. He can taste the smile in her kiss and when her hands go through his hair he all but swoons.

The kissing goes great and for a long, long time.  So great, in fact, that between it and the face-splitting grin he’s wearing, his jaw is starting to ache, but there’s no way he’s stopping.  He will stand here by the side of the road in the growing dark surrounded by bugs and foxes and all manner of weird night-things as long as he can keep kissing her.  He doesn’t even care about the hooting and jeering coming from passing traffic, not even when he recognises the familiar grind of the not-quite-in-gear engine of Chop’s Peugeot 205.

Despite all her bravado, Rae becomes a little skittish when the car idles beside them and Finn swears by all that is holy that he will kill Chop a thousand times over, if he does anything to shatter the divinity of this moment. He can’t have that, so while Chop makes crude jokes and the others whoop and holler, Finn keeps his mouth on hers, not sparing a single breath to tell them all to bugger off,  just gathers Rae up closer, hums his pleasure across her tongue. He won’t risk even the slight movement of extending his middle finger to flip them off in case the spell breaks; instead, he chooses to ignore them until they get bored and drive off. He’s beside himself that she does too.

Whatever happens next is entirely up to Rae.  If she wants to find their friends and dance, he’ll dance, if she wants to ride around all night, just them and the dark, he’ll drive, and if she wants to see where all this kissing leads, Finn is more than happy to oblige.

This here and now is their beginning and he can’t wait to see where it takes them.

[cnfhumss12a-blog]

BinondHoe

By Alfred Keegan S. Bernardo                  

   It’s really ironic that I was born without an ounce of Chinese blood but all the things I prefer are Chinese. The food, history and of course, the guys. And when I heard that we were tasked to go to Binondo for a writing activity, you bet that my little chinito loving heart was internally screaming in excitement.

    Our expedition for hot chinito guys, I mean for an authentic chinese experience rather started along the busy sidewalks of Vito Cruz on one Tuesday afternoon as me and my friends Dana, Emiliane, Lianne, and Trisha waited for our ride which was provided by our opulent friend Trisha. As the big black SUV arrived we quickly hopped in and much to our surprise Tita Jasmine (Trisha’s mom) was by the passenger seat and cheerfully said that she would be accompanying us all throughout our whole Binondo Escapade as our tour guide which I was very grateful to her for.  The trip took about 30 minutes with the usual Manila Traffic. Our vehicle passed through different eskenitas and shortcuts to expedite our trip and save time which actually worked because we arrived at Binondo sooner than we expected.

   Binondo is the oldest Chinatown in the world and has been standing for 425 years strong. From far away it almost seems like a mixture of modern high rise condominiums and old baroque style buildings that reminded me of the buildings in old Europe There were also oriental style buildings with red roofs that resembled Buddhist temples. This urban sprawl was teeming with Chinese owned businesses, authentic Hokkien restaurants, and various kinds of vendors selling all kinds of goods and produce. But I’ve heard that there are also Traditional Chinese Drugstores selling illegal animal parts, shops that sell all types of charms and bracelets, and of course, cute chinito guys that you can take home to your parents.

  The driver dropped us off at Quentin Paredes street and which I’ve noticed had banks scattered all around throughout the area. BDO, EastWest, BPI, you name it and they’re all here literally a few meters from each other. But then I remembered that Binondo was once the Financial and Banking district before Makati and Ortigas we’re even established and so that explains the prevalence of banks and different financial institutions along Quentin Paredes.

Our ride dropped us off at the entrance of one tiny street. Carvajal was definitely a street that had a lot of stories to tell. With its orange-tiled pathway with specs of white and diversity of the vendors, you’d think that it was a wet market on the street.

    As we walked along Carvajal, there were different scents and sights all around but the most overpowering came from one particular fruit, the durian. The smell was obnoxious as it wafted all around and to our noses which I wasn’t really happy about. Aside from Durian, the fruit stalls also had pineapples, papayas, bananas, mangoes and other varieties of fruits. The vibrant colors of the fruits almost created a sort of a mural of tropical colors of yellow, green and red. The street also had vendors that sold all kinds of seafood in baby blue buckets with cardboard squares where their prices were written on. Snails, eels, sea cucumbers and different types of fishes were being sold all along Carvajal. It was hard to not be impressed by the variety and selection of produce and products sold along one measly narrow street.

    Among the stalls and vendors was a wooden door with glass windows that offered you a sneak peak inside one of  Binondo’s hidden gems which was Quik-Snack.  

    As we opened the door we were greeted with the aroma of spices and different scents that we could not quite distinguish. Quik- Snack is the restaurant if you want to be served with the most authentic and tastiest Hokkien food in all of Manila. But surprisingly the design and decor of the restaurant was not quite, er Chinese per sé. It had plain white tiled floors that were squeaky clean and the wall on the upper half was a cream colored white while the bottom half was made of exposed brick. It almost seemed like one of those restaurants from the spanish colonial era that was misplaced in the middle of Chinatown.

     The restaurant had a variety of dishes to offer us. From noodles to soups and appetizers you can see that there’s a wide array of ingredients that they use and they even had vegetarian options!  There were some recognizable dishes such as Lumpiang Shanghai, Chopsuey and Leche Flan but there were also some Hokkien Dishes such as Kuchay-ah, Stir-Fried Mi Noodles and Oyster Cakes. The prices ranged from 150 to 300 pesos depending on what the main ingredient is. Tita Jasmine suggested that we try the Iced Coffee with Ice cream since it is one of their best sellers so I opted to order one for myself and Dana decided to get one too since we both love and adore coffee. It took us quite a bit of time to choose what to order but eventually after some questions I’ve decided to get the Stir Fried Mi Noodles that had Pork and Shrimp. My friends decided to order noodles as well but in different variants with different ingredients.

    While waiting for our food to be served I was curious to know about the history of Quik-Snack so I asked the cashier who was a middle aged guy with a receding hairline and he told me about the owners of the restaurant which was actually from Cebu and and they moved to Manila in the 60’s where they established Quik-Snack and it was passed on from the owner’s grandson in the 80’s and he was still managing it up till today which was quite fascinating since the restaurant had different generations of management.

     After about 10 minutes our dishes were served to us and surprisingly they all looked quite appetizing and unique. The first one to be served was Emiliane’s dish which were long thin white noodles served on a bowl with a broth that was almost clear and hers had different toppings such as spring onions, leeks and parsley which was quite an attractive garnish. Me, Dana and Trisha ordered the same dish but with different ingredients. Trisha’s noodles had chicken and Dana’s had Beef Sate Sauce. But I’d like to think that my order looked the most sumptuous with the different colored toppings that were on top of the noodles. The pink juicy shrimp, crunchy green cabbage, perfectly sautéd pork and crispy bits of garlic.

    As i took my first bite of the dish, I was greeted with a strong savory taste that instantly impressed me. The combination of the different textures and tastes of the toppings with the well-cooked noodles and savory sauce created this symphony of flavors and textures in my mouth that was almost too good to be true. I did not hesitate to tell the whole table on how good the noodles were and everybody seemed to agree with me. The oyster cakes that Tita Jasmine ordered were also good. The contrast of the eggs and oysters with a bit of ketchup was just the bomb dot com and it paired well with everyone’s noodles. As we were in the middle of our feast our Iced Coffees arrived and boy did they look good. Two of my favorite things in one? And as we expected it was the perfect dessert/drink that complimented all the dishes we ate perfectly.

    The best part of the lunch? Tita Jasmine paid for everything and I wanted to protest and tell her that we’ll pay but she told us that it was her treat and we just could not argue with her because who doesn’t want a free meal right? After Tita Jasmine paid for our meal, we left Quik-Snack with full bellies and satisfied cravings for a full on authentic Hokkien meal.

     We turned left to the other end of Carvajal towards Ongpin which was the main artery or passageway of Binondo. We went to check out the flagship store of Eng Bee Tin one of the most popular brands of Chinese treats and delicacies. As we approached the facade of the building you can already tell that it’s gonna be an explosion of yellow, red and purple and boy I was not wrong. Everything in the store was either yellow and red. The red pineapples hanging by the ceiling, red dragon statues by the entrance the shiny foiled yellow walls that were almost blinding. As we were checking the stuff up in the second floor we came across a barrel man. If you don’t know what the barrel man is, it’s a wooden carving of a man inside a barrel. Sounds innocent right? But what you don’t know is that you can remove the barrel and a surprise will be springing into life. Let’s just say that it’s big, long and hard as wood .

    We traversed through Ongpin and we specifically stopped at this one store that was selling different types of Chinese snacks and drinks that I could not recognize since all the labels were in Mandarin. The store also had keychains and bracelets made up of different colored stones. There were also these weird paper like stacks that had white paper and red chinese characters drawn on them. Trisha told me that these were sort of offered to your dead ancestors and when you burn them, it serves as their money in the afterlife which was quite an interesting story and showed how much the Chinese respected their ancestors. As I glanced over at the counter I saw Tita Jasmine buying several circular containers that had dark wrinkly circles in them which I guess was dried fruit and to our surprise she handed one to each of us which shookt me to the core because she’s just so nice and generous.

  As we left the store stepped back into Ongpin something caught my eye. On the opposite side of the road was a tall Chinese guy that seemed to be in the middle of a phone call. He was definitely taller than 6 feet and had a good physique (yikes!). He had small thin eyes, an average sized nose and lips that looked so juicy. He didn’t have the sharpest features but whatever he had going on with his face was working. All of his features were sort of symmetrical and balanced everything out. He was neither too thin nor too fat he was in-between with a lil bit of muscle definition. I literally can’t even remember how I memorized his looks but I did. But well, I couldn’t really do anything about it so I just mustered all my willpower and moved on along to our next destination.

  Walking along the streets of Binondo didn’t really scare or bother me since I was with a group but also since the locals are not really sketchy so I didn’t have to worry about snatchers and holdapers which were usually present all around Manila. As we traversed through Ongpin, we arrived at an intersection where we transferred to another street named Sabino Padilla Street. It was lined with stores on both the sides of the street selling various things from charms to traditional Chinese medicine that were sold in strange looking pharmacies.

    On the way back to Trisha’s place, we passed by this Noodle and Siopao restaurant named Ling nam where they serve the freshest and tastiest siopaos in the whole of Manila. Tita Jasmine got about 8 pieces of Siopao and no doubt that she’ll probably give each one of us a piece. The inside of the restaurant was quite steamy and humid probably because of the steamer that’s used to cook the siopao and other dumplings. The steamy atmosphere created this veil of mystery that have the restaurant an almost ethereal feel which was cool to be honest.

    Trisha’s place was just by the end of Ongpin near the Carriedo LRT Station. It was almost sunset as we were walking along Ongpin towards Trisha’s place. The dwindling orange light shone all throughout and Ongpin and to the rest of Binondo giving the area a timeless glow. It was an eventful day indeed. We had class and headed to Binondo for a one-of-a-kind experience and boy did we get one (for free). From the diverse and authentic food to the cute chinitos just waiting to be discovered, and to those hidden charm shops and traditional pharmacies it was like any other ordinary day in Binondo but for us it was a feast for the eyes, ears and mouth (literally). We didn’t get a Chinito boyfriend but that’s okay because we got a wholesome experience in BinondHoe. Gallery: https://cnfhumss12a.tumblr.com/tagged/Keegan

[referrina]

My Bucket List

Have One Million Dollars

Visit the Globe Theatre

Visit Madame Tussauds

Go Rock Climbing

Run in a Marathon

Get a professional makeover

Learn to play the Piano

Learn a Martial Art

Try out vegetarianism for 28 days

Learn to fold and origami crane, then make one every day and keep them in a jar. 

Go rock climbing 

Visit the Dead Sea

See the London Eye (or ride on it!)

Go on a Meditation Retreat

See cherry blossoms in Japan

Hit bull’s-eye on a dartboard

Visit a Volcano

See the Mona Lisa

Pose nude for an art class

Get a tattoo- Got my first one 2011, it was the Deathly Hallows symbol behind my ear! 

Get an exotic piercing- Got my nose pierced in may 2010 at the ink shop on independence.

Learn archery

Reach 100,000 views on DeviantART

Attend a traditional circus carnival- Went to see the final Barnam and Bailey show with Allie and her family! The tigers were my favorite part! 

Learn a foreign language

Make a mural/do graffiti (chalk counts)- That time I illegally chalked campus with Cassidy all day. Happened April 2013.

Celebrate my birthday at some other country

Graduate high school- Graduated in May 2009 from the AIS 

Visit all the continents

Have a white Christmas- It snowed one year at 11pm on Christmas day in 2011. That counts! Me and dad went out for a walk in the snow at midnight. 

Write a song/sing it and put it on the internet- I wrote The Date Song in Summer 2012 while ‘dating’ Kyle. It got 10k notes on Tumblr!

Give my hair some kind of color treatment- I got blonde highlights that I died purple in October 2011. Then I dyed my hair under my top layer blonde! I prefer my natural color now. 

Kiss in the snow - Allie and I did this in 2017! It snowed at her old apartment.  

Kiss in the rain- I kissed Kyle in the rain after school circa 2006 while we were waiting for our parents to pick us up. We kissed behind the cafeteria while it was pouring. I remember he smelled like a wet dog and I was worried about my hair the whole time.  

Lose my virginity- I lost my virginity to Jeremy April 5th (the day after Easter) in 2010. It was nice, we had lamb roast after. 

Sing in public- Done it loads of times since the talent show in high school (Feb 2009), but my most notable time was when I sung Ariana’s part in Bang Bang with my a capella club in college (Nov 2014)

See the pyramids

Go to a concert for an underground band- Went to go see HEALTH with Kyle and Jonathan in summer 2010. I also so Motion City Soundtrack’s final show in Nov 2013, and discovered Now, now at the same show. 

Learn how to juggle

Own an I Heart NY Shirt from New York- I bought a black one from my New York senior trip in high school. 

Sleep in a cheap motel- Me, Allie, and Mariana slept in a waterfront hotel for 40$ a night (thats cheap!). It was pretty nice for the price, would try again!

Watch the sun rise- Me, Cassidy, and Lynn Jia stayed out all night one Thursday and saw the sunrise from east deck. 

See some World Wonders:

Great Pyramid Of Giza, El Giza Egypt 

Great Wall of China, Huairou, China

Machu Picchu, Andes Mountains, Peru

Taj Mahal, Agra, Uttar Pradesh, India

The Colosseum, Rome Italy 

Eiffel Tower, Paris France

Leaning tower of Pisa, Italy 

Stonehenge, England

Salar De Uyuni, Bolivia

Plitvice Lakes National Park, Croatia

Bora Bora, French Polynesia

Angkor Wat, Cambodia

Venice, Italy

Lençóis Maranhenses, Brazil

Victoria Falls, Livingstone, Zambia

Santa Maria dell’Isola, Italy

Sydney Opera House, Australia 

Quinta de Regaleira, Portugal

Montreal Botanical Garden, Canada

See the  Sistine Chapel

Visit some USA Wonders: 

Glacier National Park, Montana, USA

Redwood National Park, California, USA

Yellowstone National Park, USA

The Grand Canyon, Arizona, USA

Mount Rushmore, South Dakota, USA

Statue of Liberty, New York

Seattle Space Needle, Seattle

Walk the Freedom Trail in Boston

Niagara Falls

Drive from Miami to Key West

Visit the Alamo in San Antonio

French Quarter in New Orleans

Ride the Millennium Force at Cedar Point

Visit the Iowa State Fair

Swim in a Great Lake

Walk across the Golden Gate Bridge

Visit Vegas (as an adult)

See the northern lights in Alaska

Go to the State Fair- Went to the state fair September 2013 with Ron, Allie, and Amanda Honey. I ate so much fried food, I got sick when I came home. To this day, smelling onion rings still makes me nauseous. 

Be on a reality TV show

Graduate from college- Graduated with a Bachelors of Science from UNCC Dec 13th 2014

Sleep under the stars- Went camping plenty of times, a few with my dad (May 2015 Kings Mountain, Nov 2015 Cherokee), and most notable with Allie and Jaden in April 2017 (Asheville).

Live past 50

Spend a night in an igloo

Plant a tree

Get a speeding ticket- My first speeding ticket was Oct 2010 going 55 in a 25 zone off of farm pond road. The police officer was nice and only gave me a ticket instead of arresting me. I was also high as a kite, coming from Saun and Tylers house. 

See the sun set in the desert

Go to all 50 states

Milk a cow

Go to a drive in movie

Stay awake for 24 hours

Sleep on the beach

Send a message in a bottle

Visit all Disneylands

Have a picture taken in a photo booth - Did this at work for NH! 

Find a four leaf clover- I have 2 that I found in my parents backyard. I have them preserved between two strips of clear masking tape. 

Watch all Disney Animated Films before 2000

Skinny dip

Get a masters degree

Get a book published

Run though a field of wheat

Wish on a shooting star- Wished on a shooting star on my way home one night from college in summer 2013. It streaked across the sky and I wished that I would find someone to love me. I met Allie that year. 

Get featured in a magazine/newspaper

Have my portrait painted- Allie did this October 2013 and its still THE BEST THING EVER. She drew me in a watercolor with a flower crown!

Swim with a dolphin

Be an extra in a film

Write a fan letter to someone who inspired me- I wrote a fan letter to Marina Herald, who wrong the ‘Through a Glass Darkly’ fan fiction novel which was a HUGE part of my life in 2010. She wrote me back and complimented my art and asked me to keep drawing things for her story because I was as important to the VR fandom as her. It meant alot. 

Learn to ballroom dance properly

Sit on a jury

Stay out all night dancing and go to work the next day without having gone home (just once)- Summer of 2011 I went out with Ashley and her Brazilian friends from NY. We went to no less than 5 bars and I didn’t get home until 9 am, and I had to be at work at Healthy Home Market by 10 on Sunday. I was dog tired all day, but I made it until 6 and passed out at home. It was a good day. 

Go out dancing period for that matter- I’ve gone out dancing a few times since. 

Spend a night in a haunted house

See a lunar or solar eclipse - 2017 I went with my family to the zoo in South Carolina and we saw the solar eclipse! 

Write my own will

Spend a whole day reading a great novel- Summer 2015 I spent all of a single day reading A Thousand Splendid Suns in my hammock. That same summer I spent a day reading A Great and Terrible Beauty, also in the hammock.

Animate something!- I learned how to animate GIFs in 2010!

Go up in a hot-air balloon

Create my own web site

Make a hole-in-one

Make a sex tape

Fly a kite- I flew kites with my friends at Kitty Hawke in April 2013

Ride a mechanical bull- I rode a mechanical bull while in Cherokee 2007 with my family during Christmas.

Ride a roller coaster- My first Roller Coaster was Thunder Road at Carowinds

Adopt an accent for an entire day- 2012, adopted a British accent at work with Healthy Home Market for a Sunday, and literally it was all anyone could talk about and people were SO much nicer.

Fire a gun- Shot my first gun at Megs house in Marion with Cassidy and Lynn Jia. I found it exhilarating, but not something I was good at. Spring 2013.

Climb a tall tree all the way to the top (or as far as you can go!)

Meet someone I met on the Internet in real life- Krystal Johnson, Dec 2013.

Vote- First vote cast during Obama’s second term, Nov 2012

Be on TV/radio - When I was in line to meet Hilary Clinton, NPR interviewed me and put it on thier show! I am still embarrassed!! 

Provide the police with an anonymous tip- Called about a car accident both me and Allie witnessed. The driver ran into an electrical pole during a rainstorm.

Hitchhike

Dance in the pouring rain- When Robbie died, I was alone in the house and I listened to the Edward Scissorhands soundtrack while dancing out in the pouring rain on a summer afternoon, 2008.

Receive a dozen roses- For the first time from Hayden during Valentines day 2013. 

Get drivers license- Licensed driver in NC since Summer 2008. I got my first car (a chevy Lumina) in summer fall 2009 for community college.

See the Ball drop for New Years in Times Square

Donate Blood- Donated blood fall 2013 and faint during a group fitness class the next day.

Witness a miracle

Get Contacts

See a muscial ON BROADWAY- Saw Mama Mia in New York on Broadway, spring 2009.

Make $10 dollars an hour- Myers Park Presbyterian, May 2015

Make $20 dollars an hour- Novant Health, July 2016

Make $50 dollars an hour

Ride in a horse and carriage

Have my fortune told

Own a diamond

Buy a piece of art from a street artist- Bought two prints from a street artist in New York after seeing Mama Mia on Broadway, Spring 2009.

Receive a love letter

Read a book to a child- Read a little readers book to my niece in Summer 2015 to help her with her homework. She is not very bright.

Play in the mud during a rainstorm

Have a snowball fight- Had one with Allie Amanda Honey, Ad, and Meg at their apartment when it snowed, spring 2014.

Go to Japan

Go to England

Go to Australia

Go to Greece 

Read a work of fiction more than 300 pages long- Harry Potter, naturally. But I had read many long books (HP was just the first)

Smoke a joint- Smoked my first joint with Sean and Tyler at thier house on Farmpond road. I also got pulled over for speeding that night.

Drink champagne FROM champagne- My parents brought back Champagne from France and I had a glass when they opened it (Spring 2014). It tasted more or less the same as regular champagne.

Build a sandcastle WITH a moat- Built plenty of sandcastles with my father, the most notable one was a mayan temple we made in the Dominican Republic that a kid smashed once we had left.

Go camping. In a tent.- Camped with my dad in May 2015, and Nov 2015, and then again with Allie in Spring 2016, and again with Jaden and Allie in April 2017. I love camping.

Cook a meal over an open flame- Cooked my first meal over an open flame with my dad on our May 2015 camping trip. I even made the fire. It was hot dogs and baked beans.

Smoke a cigarette- Smoked my first cigarette with Cassidy and Lynn while staying up late on campus, Fall 2012.

Be someones brides maid or maid of honor - I was my sisters maid of honor! 

Learn how to whistle with a blade of grass or an acorn top

Catch a fish- I caught my first fish with my father when I was about 11, and my second fish on my own with Meg on our second solo trip to Marion one weekend at the lake.

Drink Absinthe- Drank authentic Absinthe with India at her parents house in Asheville. It was bitter and made us sweat and text our exes.

Sign up to be an organ donor- Signed up to donate organs in Spring 2017

Go to a drag show- Saw a drag show Dec 2011 with David, Jarrell, and Renee at Scorpios.

Watch a sunset, then stay up to watch the following sunrise- Did this with Cassidy, and Lynn on campus. We smoked cigarettes at sunrise, had waffle house at midnight, and drank orange juice at sunrise on east deck.

Meet a Drag Queen- Met a famous Queen City Drag Queen with Violetta at the annual summer heart walk in 2011. Also met two Drag Queens at pride 2016.

Go on a cross-country road trip (at least 3-5 states!)

Learn to surf

Volunteer at a soup kitchen

See gay marriage legalized in all of USA- June 26th 2015 :)

See marijuana become legal in my state

Bet on the Kentucky Derby

Cosplay

Break a world record

Open a Swiss bank account

Start a food fight

Go the wrong way on an escalator - I did this ONCE in New Jersey and I fell and busted my ass. I ripped open an injury on my knee. It was chaos. 

Get buried in the sand- Got buried in wet, cold sand by Allie in Oct 2015 before our parents knew we were dating. It was so ridiculous and fun!

Sleep on a roof

Play hide and seek at night in a graveyard

Kiss someone underwater- Kissed Allie underwater at her friends pool. It was oddly difficult!

Go to a midnight movie premiere- Went to the midnight premier of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 with Liz, Pippin, and Zoe at Concord Mills. Many people dressed up, and there was a fan play before the screens came on. We made a lot of friends and the movie was amazing!

Buy something with all pennies

Be in 2 places at once- On our trip to Carowinds, me, Kat, Joey and Allie stood on the two state lines dividing North Carolina and South Carolina.

Ride on the top of a double decker bus in England

Dress up as Waldo and walk around a crowded place

Be in a musical

Have a song written about me

Ride a horse- I ridden a horse to a spa with my parents, but more recently I rode one of Megs quarter horses both times I came to visit her in Marion (once during Spring of 2013 with Cassidy, and Lynn, and another time during Summer 2013 with Kat)

Go to the spa

Have a pint in England

Go on a helicopter ride

Go to a Mardi Gras in New Orleans

See ‘the wizarding world of harry potter’ in orlando- My parents took me Dec 2013 to celebrate my making the Deans list for a year! It was wonderful, AND I got to meet my internet friend Krystal.

Go to a convention, of any sort- Went to Heroes con Summer 2011 with Raven, Pippin, and Zoe! I bought a batman shirt. 

Go to San Diego Comic Con

Learn to make candles - I do this every fall now! 

Solve the Rubik’s Cube

Go to a SuperBowl

Learn to sculpt with clay, throw pottery on the wheel- Beka taught me how to throw on the wheel during the Raku event in Fall 2015. Allie taught me how to hand build that same year. I prefer throwing.

Learn to knit

Join a roller derby team

Read every novel that has won a Pulitzer Prize in the Fiction Category

Read every novel in TIME’s most influential novels of the 21st century category

Have a threesome

Make a web comic - I made a web comic in 2017! I got 4 issues in before I realized this was NOT for me. Maybe I’ll try again! 

Audition for American idol- Auditioned summer 2012. Did not get in, but had a blast!

Have a tea party with a child- Had a tea party with my nieces in Summer 2016 with my old tea set and yoohoo. 

Try yoga (in a class)

See the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade

Try churros- Had Churros from the State Fair in 2013. I have loved them ever since.

Own a real fur coat

Have sex in public- Allie, Caleb, Jason :)

Eat a girl out- Allie :)

Try anal- Caleb :)

Play slots (gamble)

Adopt a kitten - I adopted Anders the same year we put Jinxie down. Hes my baby boy :)

See my name in the credits of something

Go on a blind date- I went on a date with Dale. We saw a movie and got Mexican food. It was awkward, and he kissed me like he was starving for attention back at his car.

Skip school- Me and Courtney skipped school during a fire drill (we escaped from the track where we were all being held). Another time with Renee where we went to the Bistro and said school let out early for exams (it had not.)

Witness someone die

Swim in the Atlantic Ocean- Myrtle Beach with Allie and Mariana, Spring 2013.

Swim in the Pacific Ocean - Did this when I saw Jaden! It was SO COLD!!

Make prank phone calls- Once with Violetta, Audrey, and David, we made prank calls until sunrise.

Laugh until some kind of beverage comes out of your nose- Did this once while eating at crown. It was orange juice.

Catch a snowflake on my tongue- Caught a snowflake on my tongue during the snow of Feb 2013 with my friends. We went outside at night while snowing so meg could get some snow for snow cream.

Write a letter to Santa Claus - I used to do this all the time as a kid. I never realized they probably didnt go anywhere. 

Kiss under the mistletoe - Allie and I do this every year now. Its her favorite thing! 

Blow bubbles in summer- I’ve done this many summers since the first time making this list in 2004.

Go to Disneyworld- On my freshman trip during high school, I got my first kiss from Kyle at Disneyland, during the fireworks event at the castle. Our friends had been tricking us into hanging out together all day, and mysteriously disapeared once the fireworks started. When Kyle kissed me, our friends reappeared an started clapping. A few teachers said it was about time. It was a good trip.

Ride on an elephant

Go water-skiing

See the Northern Lights

Swim in the Mediterranean- Swam on a rocky beach in 2009 while visiting Croatia. Dad tried to eat a raw sea urchin. It was a good vacation.

Have a one night stand with a stranger- Jason, Andy :)

Have one of my videos go viral

Own a Niner Nation shirt- AD gave me her stash of Niner Nation shirts and I think I wore them a grand total of once. My mom also bought me one when I graduated.

Eat at Bistro 49 at UNCC- The Dean of Students is a personal friend and took me here during my first semester in Spring 2012. I had a spinach salad because I wanted to be fancy and could barely choke it down.

Have a bake sale outside the Union- Had a Bakesale for PotterWatch in Spring 2013 with Mariana, Cait, and ANel.

See a concert on campus- Saw Motion City Soundtrack play in the Student Union during my first fall semester with ANel

Go see KEANE live

Go see Tswift Live- Went to my first Tswfit concert March 2013 with Meg and Kat after I had JUST broken up with Hayden. I had a GREAT time, and it was really uplifting.

Go to Amelie’s in the middle of the night.-Me and Cassidy went at 3am and talked to these two guys (both named Keith) til sunrise. It was so weird, but it was good conversation and I’m still friends with Kieth #2.

With friends, create photo evidence suggesting that you went on an adventure that didn’t really happen.

Build forts out of furniture and blankets, and wage war with paper airplanes.

Write a book.

Have that book published.

Play hide and seek in the park.

Drive somewhere unknown and have dinner in a city you’ve never been to. With fake names.

Get both a red card and a yellow card in quidditch- My first Yellow card was in our first game every at Blacksburg Brawl. I pulled a girls hair. My first Red card was at the Greensboro Gauntlet when I knocked a girl unconscious (I had to sit out for one game)

Play a movie you’ve never seen before. Set on mute and improvise dialogue.

Go to the airport, get the cheapest, soonest departing flight to anywhere when you show up, and stay there for a weekend.

In the Middle of the night, drive to the beach, so you arrive just as the sun is rising. Have a breakfast picnic, then fall asleep together. Bring a sun umbrella.

With camera and pair of boots, make photolog of a day in the life of the invisible man.

Write an autobiography

Make pressed flowers

Purchase a house- I bought my first house on September 16th 2016 at 3015 Summercroft Lane for 78k.

Own more than one housing property

Throw Tomatoes at La Tomatina

Visit Area 51

Solve a 100+ piece puzzle

Eat a meal in a really famous / expensive restaurant

Help a complete stranger in trouble

Get a Deep-Tissue Massage

Get a Volcanic Clay mud mask 

Find my way through a hedge or corn maze

Ride in a gondola

Get Married

Go on a Cruise - Did this in 2018! 

Fly first class

Help someone cross something off THEIR bucketlist

Learn the Thriller dance routine

See Wicked- Saw it with my Mom in March 2013 and it was JUST AS AMAZING AS I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE.

See the Phantom of the Opera- I saw it with Renee in 2010 and it was actually REALLY good!

Go to a real Ballet. Dress up.- Allie has taken me to 2 ballets, Peter Pan (March 2016) and Sleeping Beauty (2017)

Do the 365 day project (Take picture everyday)

Make a music video

Be able to do a split

Throw a surprise party for someone Did this for Allie in 2021! it was only a few people but she really was surprised. 

Have a surprise birthday party thrown for you- Amanda Honey, and Allie got me to go outside in the snow while Meg stayed upstairs and baked me a cake! Then we all ate tacos and watched Game of Thrones. It was a REALLY good birthday, because of the snow and the surprise! 

Sing at a Karaoke Bar- Sang ‘You Oughta Know’ at Jeffs Bucket Shop and dedicated it to every girl who has ever been cheated on by a guy. I got everyone cheering and singing along and Allie said it was the best performance of the night.

Audition for a game show

Attend a Murder Mystery Dinner

Ride a Cable Car in San Francisco - Did this during san fran pride when we all visited Jaden. 

Visit Hershey’s Chocolate World

Take a Cooking Class

Visit Toys ‘R’ Us Times Square- Visited during my Senior field trip Spring 2009

Go to homecoming- The only UNCC football game I ever went to was Homecoming. I tailgated with my friends in Fall 2013.

Take a picture with UNCC mascot- Took one with Allie during Fall Fest 2014

Visit the botanical gardens on campus and Bonnie Cones Grave- I did this with Allie and Lucas Nov 2014 right before a graduated for good luck

Join an acapella group- Joined the Finer Niners in Sept 2013 after a girl interrupted quidditch practice to leave to go audition. I went with her with a few friends from the team and I was the only one who made it in.

[carolcooks2]

Welcome to Saturday Snippets were anything goes…whatever catches my eye or my imagination could be on this post…something for everyone…I hope so…so whatever your timezone grab a coffee or a glass of wine and enjoy!

Everyone knows how I love to cook and I am pretty good now at cooking Asian food I have had a few years practise and practise makes perfect…Fried Rice …all the chefs are making fried rice some better than others…my grandson showed me this video and although there are a few foofs in it it is funny…so just a little warning there are a few profanities personally I  am not given to profanities myself but I found this very funny…I give you Uncle Roger reviewing for want of a better word Jamie Olivers Fried Rice…

Personally, I will never eat fried rice for a while without thinking of Uncle Roger…

How many boys ask for a metal detector I know Aston did as did my sons they took them to the beach, the local woods and parks and unearthed a few things but mostly nothing of any worth…This young Irish lad however like my boys started out with a dream and that dream became a reality when he unearthed a Historic Irish Sword as he was prospecting along a local river bank…How often does that happen?

Sadly Johnny Cash passed away on September 12th 2003…he was an American Singer and Songwriter who fired up country and western music…raised in the rural South he grew up listening to songs of work and lament, hymns and folk ballads it wasn’t until he joined the army that he learnt to play the guitar and write songs when he reti=urned from his military service in Germany he settled in Memphis, Tennessee with the aim of pursuing a career in music…He sang at county fairs and local events until he was signed up after auditioning with Sam Phillips of Sun Records, who signed Cash in 1955. Such songs as “Cry, Cry, Cry,” “Hey, Porter,” “Folsom Prison Blues,” and “I Walk the Line” brought him considerable attention, and by 1957 Cash was the top recording artist in the country and western field. His music was noted for its stripped-down sound and focus on the working poor and social and political issues. Cash, who typically wore black clothes and had a rebellious persona, became known as the “Man in Black.”

Did you know?

Elizabeth Barrett eloped with Robert Browing on September 12, 1846.

Barrett was already a respected poet who had published literary criticism and Greek translations in addition to poetry. Her first volume of poetry, The Seraphim and Other Poems appeared in 1838, followed by Poems by Elizabeth Barrett Barrett (1844). Born in 1806 near Durham, England, at her father’s 20-bedroom mansion, she enjoyed wealth and position, but suffered from weak lungs and tended to be reclusive in her youth. She became even more so after the death of her beloved brother in 1840.

Recycling is high on my agenda and especially circular recycling especially when the artist produces something like these …

I think they are spectacular I just wish I had a talent like that…Awesome use of scraps of wood…

Wellness Corner by Sally Cronin…Liver health and the Milk Thistle.

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2020/09/10/smorgasbord-health-column-the-medicine-womans-treasure-chest-herbal-medicine-liver-health-and-milk-thistle/

This week I have been soup making...Carrot Soup normally I stick to chicken, mushroom or tomato but this week it has been carrot soup..which was really nice very orange but a soup I would make again it needs a few tweaks and then the recipe will be in my cookbook …

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sauteed carrots

Carrot Soup

But I will as I promised to give you the recipe for foraged wild mushroom soup…

Here in the northeast of Thailand, there are various kinds of tasty mushrooms (hed), all filled with nutrition. Three favourites are hed kay, hed tub-tao and hed ra-ngok. In the villages, these mushrooms are often prepared in a soup along with bai yangang juice (Tiliacora Triandra), sweet basil and pla-ra ( fermented) fish which is often added to the soup…

I have adapted the recipe as you would most probably not be able to get some of the ingredients or want to use them like the Pla-ra…

Ingredients:

2 cups various kinds of mushrooms

2 stalks lemongrass, lower tender portions, cut into 2-inch pieces and slightly crushed

5 – 7 each chillies, slightly crushed

3 – 5 each red shallots, slightly crushed

2 stalks spring onion, cut into 1-inch pieces

2 tbsp pla-ra juice (liquid of pickled fish) (optional)

1 tbsp fish sauce

2 cups of water

4 – 5 sprigs Thai basil leaves

Let’s Cook!

Pour the water into a pot over the high heat. When it begins a boil, add lemongrass, chilies and shallots. Then follow by adding the mushrooms. Let simmer briefly until cooked. Season with the fish sauce and pla-ra liquid. Add  basil and spring onion. Remove from the heat.

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wild mushrooms

wild mushroom soup

Serve in a bowl.

Thais would also add some local vegetable called Cha-om which is a vegetable native to here… It has a particular fragrance that may seem unpleasant at first to the unaccustomed, but when it’s cooked up, it’s so tasty that most people can’t stop eating it and the aroma is just part of the package and soon becomes quite likeable.

Many Northern Thai dishes use quite sour tasting vegetables and of course Phla the fermented fish…it is a taste our western palates are not used to but if you eat it enough your taste changes and it becomes quite palatable.

Now for some music…I have selected “Million Dollar Quartet” which is a recording of an impromptu jam session with Elvis Presley, Jerry Lee Lewis, Carl Perkins and Johnny Cash …recorded on December 4th 1956 in the Sun Record Studios in Memphis Tennessee…

Impromptu jam sessions are one of my favourite kinds of music…

How young is Elvis there he must have been star struck…

That’s all for today’s Saturday Snippets I hope you have enjoyed it…xx

About Carol Taylor: 

Enjoying life in The Land Of Smiles I am having so much fun researching, finding new, authentic recipes both Thai and International to share with you. New recipes gleaned from those who I have met on my travels or are just passing through and stopped for a while. I hope you enjoy them.

I love shopping at the local markets, finding fresh, natural ingredients, new strange fruits and vegetable ones I have never seen or cooked with. I am generally the only European person and attract much attention and I love to try what I am offered and when I smile and say Aroy or Saab as it is here in the north I am met with much smiling.

Some of my recipes may not be in line with traditional ingredients and methods of cooking but are recipes I know and have become to love and maybe if you dare to try you will too. You will always get more than just a recipe from me as I love to research and find out what other properties the ingredients I use contain to improve our health and wellbeing.

Exciting for me hence the title of my blog, Retired No One Told Me! I am having a wonderful ride and don’t want to get off, so if you wish to follow me on my adventures, then welcome! I hope you enjoy the ride also and if it encourages you to take a step into the unknown or untried, you know you want to…….Then, I will be happy!

Thank you once again for reading this post I hope you all have a fabulous week and stay safe these are troubling times xx

Saturday Snippets…12th September 2020…

Welcome to Saturday Snippets were anything goes…whatever catches my eye or my imagination could be on this post…something for everyone…I hope so…so whatever your timezone grab a coffee or a glass of wine and enjoy!

Saturday Snippets…12th September 2020… Welcome to Saturday Snippets were anything goes...whatever catches my eye or my imagination could be on this post...something for everyone...I hope so...so whatever your timezone grab a coffee or a glass of wine and enjoy!

[princesstadashi]

Get to know me tag

Tagged by @princess-kidatheart17​

Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people

1. Drink: Mountain Dew (although I’m trying to cut down on it ‘cause I know it’s hurting my teeth... ^^;) 2. Phone call: NYOPE BYEEEEEEEE 3. Text message: Better than call, but still not great.  4. Song you listen to: “If I Die Young” (there’s a cover I love done by a guy but it was in an AMV and no source to the artist so I don’t know who sang it :() 5. Time you cried: Most days.

HAVE YOU: 6. Dated someone twice: Had a couple dates about two years ago but for the most part no reciprocated romance </3 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: Never kissed anyone.

8. Been cheated on: Nope.

9. Lost someone special: No one has ever died IRL that I’m close to, but I’ve had some people move away/move on that have been hard. Now if we’re talking fictional characters? ...I AM RIDING THE DENIAL TRAIN FAAAARRRR AWAY. 10. Been depressed: There’s an option other than being depressed? 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: No drinking for me with all my mental illnesses.

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 12-14: White, pink, charcoal grey

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. Made new friends: Yeah, lots of awesome new tumblr friends this year! :D 16. Fallen out of love: It’s... Complicated. 17. Laughed until you cried: Oh yes, just last night XD 18. Found out someone was talking about you: Apparently the kids in my high school had rumors that i was gay. Joke’s on you guys, I actually AM gay and I can’t wait to see their faces at the reunion when I hopefully walk in with a girl on my arm XD 19. Met someone who changed you: Yes, my best friend <3 20. Found out who your friends are: Yeah 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: No kissing for me so far :P

GENERAL: 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: Almost everyone--have a couple people from cosplay groups, but I don’t usually add strangers. 23. Do you have any pets: Sadly no, not right now. I want a cat! 24. Do you want to change your name: Sometimes I wish people IRL would call me Dashi. 25. What did you do for your last Birthday: Day of I worked, but my bro took me out to the mall the Sunday after and my birth parents took me to see Cars 3 the weekend before so that was nice. 26. What time do you wake up: If I’m on vacation/weekends, if I can I’ll stay up ‘til 4:00 am and sleep in until 2-2:30 pm XD 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: Crying about having to go home... 28. Name something you can’t wait for: For me and my best friend actually to live in the same state and hopefully have an apartment together! 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: Last week for my adopted mom and a couple weeks ago for my birth mom (which I’m not complaining about on the latter...) 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: Main one is private, but maybe that all my online friends actually lived close to me? 31. What are you listening to right now: My best friend playing Disney Infinity 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: I had a teacher named Coach Thomas, if that counts! 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: When I go out of my way to be noncontroversial/spare other people’s feelings to be nice and then people don’t extend me the same courtesy. (Especially when it come to ships.) 34. Most visited website: Deviant Art or Tumblr ^^

LOST QUESTIONS. I JUST PUT IN RANDOM INFO ABOUT ME 35. Mole/s: Lots, but most noticeably one below my nose on the right side and one by my left ear (I worry that they might end up being cancerous so they might eventually have to be removed, yikes...) 36. Mark/s: A weird bump on my scalp, some old *trigger warning* self harm scars that show up when I tan too much 37. Childhood dream: Be a cowgirl (after seeing Toy Story 2), to run a bed and breakfast, or to be a mermaid (would still love that one <3), to publish a book (still working on that!!!) 38. Hair color: Dark blonde, almost brown 39. Long or short hair: Really freaking long. (Down to my waist, but I definitely want it longer!) 40. Do you have a crush on someone: My romance life is a hot mess, let’s not go there. 41. What do you like about yourself: I’m really good at writing and doing arts and crafts stuff. :) I also like that I’m apparently a pretty good listener ^^. 42. Piercings: Naw, I’m scared of needles ^^;  43. Blood type: O- (I think--I just know that I’m the universal donor!) 44. Nickname: Dashi/Nii-chan/Oneesan/Mein Schwester  45. Relationship status: Very much single with no real prospects.  46. Zodiac: Cancer 47. Pronouns: She/Her, but I’m genderfluid so I’m cool with They/Them or He/Him ^^ 48. Favorite TV Show: Oh man, too many to choose from! XD Star Wars Rebels come to mind for cartoons, and I also love Glee and Parks & Rec for live action shows!

49. Tattoos: None at present. I’d love to have Tadashi tattooed on my back and possibly a Baymax or Hiro on my right ankle ^^ 50. Right or left hand: Right. 51. Surgery: None, and terrified of anesthesia so hopefully none for a good long while... 52. Hair dyed in different color: Never permanent dye (sprayed it a couple times for Halloween as a kid), and I’ve considered long and pink or a boy-short chop and dying it black, but I like my hair the way it is for the most part so I just use lots of wigs for now XD 53. Sport: NOOOO. I mean, I did ice skating for a bit in 6th grade and it was fun, but other than that I absolutely hate them, watching or participating >.< 55. Vacation: Going to see my best friend, of course! And anywhere Disney! Me and the best friend want to visit all the Disney Parks at some point so there’s that! (I would also love to go to England someday!) 56. Pair of trainers: I’m assuming this means the U.S. word “sneakers”? I personally love high tops but only ever owned one pair and they’ve not particularly practical. ^^; Same thing goes for boots (my favorite type of footwear, although I only have, like, one pair that are pretty beat up at this point.) So usually I wear my really comfy plain black work sneakers if I want to be comfortable ^^

MORE GENERAL: 57. Eating: Nothing right now, but possibly some chips and french onion dip in a bit 58. Drinking: Sparkling lemonade 59. I’m about to: Get food, probably XD 61. Waiting for: My life to sort itself the fuck out  62. Want: Same as above. Fredashi and Hezra being canon would also be awesome. More realistically? To finish my book and maybe be lucky enough for it to be mildly successful. 63. Get married: Probably not unless things sort themselves out :/ 64. Career: Someday hopefully a librarian and an author

WHICH IS BETTER 65. Hugs or kisses: Probably hugs since I love cuddling but I’ve never kissed anyone so no real experience to go on. 66. Lips or eyes: Definitely eyes! 67. Shorter or taller: I like being short-ish for the most part--most of my friends are taller than me, but it is fun meeting people who are actually shorter than me XD 68. Older or younger: Probably older? Most of my friends are older than me ^^ 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: Nice stomach, maybe? TBH I have some body image issues/*trigger warning*mild anorexia so I try not to put too much focus on my physical appearance 71. Sensitive or loud: EXTREMELY sensitive 72. Hook up or relationship: Relationship, definitely. (I’m ace, so no hooking up for me ^^;) 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: Very much hesitant.

HAVE YOU EVER: 74. Kissed a Stranger: NOPE. 75. Drank hard liquor: DOUBLE NOPE. 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: Yes, and also broken glasses. 77. Turned someone down: Yeah ^^; 78. Sex on the first date: Nope, I’m ace so none for me 79. Broken someone’s heart: I hope not, and if so, I’m very sorry!!! 80. Had your heart broken: Yep. 81. Been arrested: No, and I pray it never happens to me! (If I did, it wold probably be for being in the wrong place at the wrong time, I try to avoid doing anything even remotely illegal ^^;) 82. Cried when someone died: Yeah, I cry about everyone and everything, IRL or fictional 83. Fallen for a friend: Yep....

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. Yourself: Sometimes yes, sometimes no. 85. Miracles: I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for a whole bunch of miracles, so hell yeah. 86. Love at first sight: I believe in attraction at first sight, but I really think you need to get to know someone in order to truly be in love with them. 87. Santa Claus: I was brought up not believing in him, but I would love for him to be real <3 88. Kiss on the first date: Definitely not for me, a kiss is something very sacred to me. But if that’s your thing, go for it!!!

OTHER: 90. Current best friend name: KingdomHeartsLover! 91. Eye color: Bluish/Greenish, depends on what I’m wearing/lighting 92. Favorite movie: BIG HERO 6, you guys should know this XD

((Randomly doing this while on vacation for fun, but I probably won’t actually be on until Thursday--see you guys then!))

[ramialkarmi]

Doing a detox is possibly the worst way to start the New Year

Ever wished there was an easy, quick way to cleanse your body of all those 2016 toxins?

Turns out you're already equipped with everything you need. They're called your liver and kidneys.

Together, these two toxin-bashing organs act as a super-efficient system for filtering out the vast majority of the harmful substances we eat and drink.

In other words, you never need to detox. Not for New Year's Day. Not after too much Thanksgiving turkey. Not even because you spent most of last year subsisting on greasy take-out from the C-rated "restaurant" next door.

Here's how it works: While our kidneys filter our blood and remove any waste from our diet, our liver processes medications and detoxifies any chemicals we ingest. Paired together, these organs make our bodies natural cleansing powerhouses.

"Unless there's a blockage in one of these organs that [cleanse our bodies] day and night, there's absolutely no need to help the body get rid of toxins," family physician Ranit Mishori of the Georgetown University School of Medicine told NPR. Mishori has spent years reviewing the medical literature on cleanses.

If detoxing is bogus, where did the idea come from?

The original detox diet, called "The Master Cleanse," was thought up in the 1940s by Stanley Burroughs as a "natural" way to treat stomach ulcers. The method was never substantiated by any research.

He published a book describing it called "The Master Cleanser." The cleanse consists of a daily regimen of six to 12 glasses of water mixed with lemon juice, cayenne pepper, and maple syrup, plus a laxative at bedtime.

Yum.

Cleanse proponents like Peter Glickman, who helped resurrect the cleanse in 2004 with a book called "Lose Weight, Have More Energy and Be Happier in 10 Days: Take Charge of Your Health with the Master Cleanse," say dieters begin to feel "euphoric" and "serene" after about a week of not eating.

We could think of better words to describe the sensations of incipient starvation.

Ok, so the lemon detox is out. What about a juice cleanse?

Other less-extreme alternatives to Burroughs' and Glickman's self-deprivation plans exist, from swapping a few meals a day for a $12 pre-packaged bottle of green liquid to juicing up a few bags of fresh produce at home each day.

Unlike the Master Cleanse, a juice diet won't totally starve your body, but it will drain your wallet, and the benefits are dubious at best.

For starters, you have to practically buy out your grocery store's produce department for just a few days of juicing. Take the list of ingredients for this recently posted three-day juice cleanse from the Dr. Oz show: four carrots, four apples (type not specified), two golden delicious apples, two 1-inch pieces of ginger, three cucumbers, six celery stalks, 14 kale leaves, half a lemon, one lime, four plum tomatoes, two red bell peppers, one-fourth of a small red onion, two cups parsley, one large sweet potato, two large red beets, one orange, eight Swiss chard leaves, and six clementines. Disclaimer: this list is only for one day on the three-day cleanse. ($40 at our local grocery store, multiplied by three days = $120.)

Or you can buy the premade version: Suja offers a bottle of its cold-pressed "Green Supreme" kale, apple, and lemon juice for $9 a pop. (Three days of three bottles of Suja each day = $81.)

Juicing removes some of the healthiest parts of fresh produce

When you juice fresh fruits and veggies, you remove all of their fiber, the key ingredient that keeps you feeling full and satisfied until your next meal. What you keep is the natural sugar in the produce (a bottle of Suja's "Green Supreme," for example, has more sugar than a can of Coke).

The immediate effects of a high-sugar and low-protein, low-fiber diet, are felt almost immediately: You're constantly hungry because there's no fiber to fill you up. Meanwhile, the sugar you're consuming is temporarily raising your blood sugar, but with no protein to stabilize it, you're on a roller-coaster ride of high and low energy. The long-term effects are more severe: a lack of protein, when prolonged for even a few days, can cause you to lose muscle rather than fat, because protein is what your muscles feed on for energy.

But there's another reason juicing isn't the best idea for some people that goes beyond depleting your body of muscle, and it has to do with behavior.

Cleanses can mimic other dangerous eating habits

Cleanse advocates describe their plans as quick fixes that clean up the mess of processed carbs, sugar, and booze we throw in our bodies each day. In reality, though, this type of eating pretty closely mimics the dangerous binge-and-purge style of eating recognized globally as indicative of an eating disorder.

For people who are prone to disordered eating, juice cleanses could serve as a gateway to bigger problems.

At one eating-disorder treatment clinic in New York City, more than half the patients report having tried a juice cleanse, Marie Claire reports. "Maybe a patient tried it and became obsessed, or maybe the eating disorder was already there and the juicing became part of it," the clinic's director of nutrition services Debbie Westerling told the magazine.

Eating nothing but juice for several days can also cause eating problems from the past to resurface, writes registered dietitian Megan Holt in a post about cleansing on her clinic's website. "I tend to discourage fasting because it can reactivate disordered eating behaviors," Holt writes, "whether that’s restriction or feeling out of control with food or feeling disconnected from hunger and fullness cues when one does start to eat again."

In other words, you can't simply drink your way to health — hundreds of dollars' worth of freshly liquefied produce or not.

READ MORE: The sugar industry is quietly funding one of the biggest misconceptions in modern nutrition

SEE ALSO: 14 seemingly harmless things you eat, drink, and use all the time that could kill you

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