#wedgied by uncle

[momotonescreaming]

Teenage Dream - Part 5

AKA - the Jeff and Eddie have crushes on jocks series Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four

“Jeff!” Eddie shouted, voice raised over the roar of the cars entering the student car park. Jeff whipped his head to look over at his friend, waving his arm from the other side of the car park, hanging out of the side of the van. “Dude!”

Vinnie gave him a look, raising a judgemental eyebrow in such a way that only middle schoolers could, as Eddie hollered for his attention. He was in no position to judge, Jeff’s met his friends.

Jeff sneered back, gently shoving at his brother’s shoulder, pushing him in the general direction of the middle school. “Move it, squirt, or you’ll be late.”

“As if,” Vinnie huffed, rolling his eyes, but walking off anyway. Brothers.

By the time Vinnie had left, Eddie was across the car park, leaning on the roof of Jeff’s old Ford. Keys in his hand, jingling against his rings. “He giving you shit?”

“When is he not?” Jeff replied, swinging his bag over his shoulder as he locked his car. Falling into step with Eddie, the pair walking in tandem towards the doors to Hawkins High. He found himself scanning the crowds, looking for Frank, or Gareth, or any of the Hellfire freshies. He found himself scanning for strawberry blonde hair, for blue eyes, for the familiar green of the cheerleader uniforms.

“He giving you shit about Chrissy,” Eddie sing songs, biting his lip and smiling as he nudges his shoulder against Jeff’s. He’s not shouting it from the rooftops, which is nice, but man, Eddie could stand to be a lot quieter. If anyone heard, Jeff was going to give Eddie a wedgie.

“Oh shut up,” Jeff replies, although he laughs as he shoves at Eddie back. “He doesn’t know and he’s not gonna.”

“Boo.” Eddie says, fake pouting. “That’s no fun.”

“You’re just saying that because you have no siblings,” Jeff replies, pushing open the doors and heading into the halls of Hawkins High. “Would you want someone in your house constantly giving you shit? I’m not giving them both any ammunition to be more annoying than they already are.”

“I mean,” Eddie starts, dragging out the word. “I have Wayne.”

“You told Uncle Wayne?” Jeff asks, brow furrowed as they manoeuvre through the halls to Eddie’s locker. He knew Eddie was out to Wayne — that it was part of the reason he was staying with Wayne and not his father (before he got shipped off to prison. But he didn’t think Eddie would openly admit his crush on Harrington to him like that. It would open a whole can of worms. Imply that there was something more. Something serious. If he was telling Wayne about it. It’s basically one step removed from meeting the parents. “About you and you-know-who?”

“Well no,” Eddie admits with a tilt of his head, swerving out of the way of a gaggle of sophomores, taking up the entire width of the hall. “But the old man can read me like a book. He knows things, I’m sure of it.”

Jeff snorts, leaning against the lockers as they stop at Eddie’s. Watching as he unlocks it, and sifts through the piles of shit he’s got in there. “You always say that about him, though. What makes this different?”

“He’s giving me looks, you know?” Eddie says into his locker, pulling out a ragged notebook and a stray textbook, before turning back to Jeff. “He’s figuring things out and he's going to be insufferable about it.”

Jeff snorts as Eddie shuts his locker, books in hand, as they head towards Jeff’s. They’ve still got time for once, normally Jeff heads to his locker alone, and Eddie arrives in a flurry later — speeding into the parking lot with a screech of his tyres. “Because your uncle has nothing better to do than speculate about your secret love life?”

“Exactly,” Eddie jokes, grinning back at Jeff. “But enough about me. Do you think you’ll meet her in your free period again?”

And thank god Eddie didn’t say her name, not here, surrounded by the teenage sharks of Hawkins. Any glimpse of vulnerability, something to exploit, the bottom feeders getting too big for their station — it was brutal.

“I’m not that lucky,” Jeff laughs, nudging Eddie’s side with his elbow.

“Wanna bet?” Eddie jokes, nudging Jeff’s side with his elbow. He’s biting his tongue to hold back his laughter.

“One’s enough thanks,” He replies. “And I am winning that one, by the way.”

“Oh eat shit Jeff,” Eddie laughs, before sobering dramatically, whirling around to face him. Continuing to walk down the hall at an angle, not looking where he’s going, Eddie continues. “But anyway, you can tell me how you wrong you are about you-know-who at band practice tonight.”

Jeff just rolls his eyes again, smiling, and heads to class.

—

There’s a buzzing, an itch, an anticipation, the second the bell rings and it’s Jeff’s free period. It bubbles up underneath his skin, threatening to break through, and nothing will quell it. Nothing except seeing her, or perhaps the confirmed absence of her presence.

He packs up his things, leaves the classroom, and heads towards the library. He has all his things — he can’t procrastinate by getting something from his locker. Plus, someone will absolutely try and steal his table if he does.

That’s his table, dammit.

So Jeff sighs — quietly, under his breath — and weaves through the halls to the library, hitching his bag further onto his shoulder. Eyes down, walking fast, avoiding the eye of any jock or jerk who might be lingering in the halls. It’s easier, when Hellfire is all together, a united force. It’s also easier with Eddie, acting larger than life, scary and dramatic — to scare the jocks away. Also helps that he’s the high school’s only dealer. If he cuts them off — and he will — then they’re fucked.

So he makes it to the library without incident — nodding a silent greeting to the librarian — before he weaves through the stacks to the shelf he needs. There’s a book he needs to check through for his English essay, and he’s reached the point where he’s stuck without it.

Bag hanging off one shoulder, weighing him down, making him feel more off kilter than normal — Jeff tilts his head as he reads through the spines of the books. Gently tabbing through them, pushing them aside with his fingers, trying desperately to ignore the swooping of his stomach. His wandering mind.

He’s not alone in the library, there are others wandering the shelves, claiming the tables, and Jeff absently watches them out of the corner of his eye. He doesn’t see any strawberry blonde hair, no cheerleader uniform, so he averts his gaze back to the stacks. Swallows his tongue.

Sighing — he tries to be quiet about it, so people don’t glare at him, so the librarian doesn’t shush him — and eventually finds his book. Slides it out of the shelf, tucks it under one arms, and weaves his way back to his table. Off to the side, near the back of the library, nice and quiet. Undisturbed, not like the tables in the centre, right by the librarians desk. There’s always chatter, always people, always large study groups. It was peaceful at his table, no one else usually came by, but Jeff couldn’t help but wish for company this time.

And it was like he had jinxed it.

Rounding the corner, Jeff looks over to find someone sitting at his table. Jolting in place, eyes wide, he finds a pair of clear blue eyes looking at his.

Chrissy shrugs, almost shrinking into herself as she gives him a little wave. Smiling shyly, cheeks flushing, as she looks at him from over the table. Sat in her seat from last time, leaving Jeff’s usual seat free, her books and papers spread out on her half of the table. Hair curled out of her face, pinned back with pale green pins. Her eyeshadow matches, because of course it does. It’s cute. She’s cute, as usual.

“Funny seeing you here,” Jeff jokes, smiling shyly back at Chrissy, heading closer so he can take his usual seat. Puts his book on the table, places his bag down at his feet, and slides into the chair.

“Hey Jeff,” She says, voice light, almost a giggle as she watches him from over the table. He likes the way his name sounds in her mouth, the way her tongue forms around it, shaping the sounds. Lips curling around the letters, pink and pert,  and shining with gloss. “Hope it’s okay I’m at your table. I was a little worried you weren’t gonna show up in time and wanted to save it for you.”

“That’s okay,” Jeff replies, smiling, feeling his heart flutter in his chest and butterflies swoop in his stomach. Was Chrissy waiting for him? Did she sit at his table so she could see him? Was he someone she wanted to take the time to see? He felt a little giddy, lost in the feeling, the delusion of it. The fantasy of being someone Chrissy wanted to see. “Thanks for saving it for me.”

“It was no worries,” Chrissy giggles, and he tries not to look at the subtle flush across her cheeks. “As long as you don’t mind a little company?”

“’Course not,” Jeff replies, trying to smother his own smile, not look too obvious. “It’s nice to have you.”

He watches as she bites her bottom lip, looks down at her notes, and then back up at Jeff, looking through her lashes. Coy, almost shy, tentative. Looks away himself, dragging his gaze away from hers, reaching down to get the rest of his things out of his bag. His notebook and pens, a worn copy of the book they’re supposed to be writing an essay on, dog-eared and sun-faded. Places it on the table next to the book from the stacks — from the same author, so he can do some fancy compare and contrasting that he knows the teacher is a sucker for.

Opens his notebook, finds his essay draft, and tries not to let his mind wander. To let his gaze find its way back to her like a magnet, pulled together inevitably. To find himself doodling love hearts on the page. So he finds his place, and tries to write. To let the ideas flow through him, seeping into the page along with the ink of his pen.

He lets the ticking of the clock fade into the background, with the hum of students going out their business, and the scratch of his pen on the page. The sound of Chrissy’s pen on the page. Actually gets some writing done, makes a solid dent in his English essay.

And so he lets himself drift for a second, sneak a glance at Chrissy — only to find her looking back. She curls into herself — shy, embarrassed, giggling — with a hand over her mouth to smother the sound. But she can’t stop looking at him. And he can’t stop looking at her back. Maybe he’s imagining it, but it feels like there’s something there. And if that something is only friendship, a fleeting crush — he’ll take it. He won’t push her for more than she’s willing to give. He’s lucky to get this much. Her sitting at his table, remembering his name, waiting for him.

He ducks his head, huffs out a laugh that’s more an exhale of air than anything else, and looks back up at Chrissy. She’s still looking at him.

“Sorry,” she says through her hand. “I’m staring like a total weirdo.”

“I like weird,” Jeff says, feeling like he’s melting and sounding entirely too sincere about it. “If you couldn’t tell.”

“Well in that case, thanks.” She laughs, moving her hand away so he can see how much she’s smiling. She looks down and bites her lips, pausing, considering — before looking back up at him. Locking eyes.

“We share all the same free period’s right?” Chrissy continues. “Would you want to meet here tomorrow, like, officially. Be study buddies.”

Oh fuck, Jeff thinks. She’s so cute. She wants to meet him again. Eddie is going to be absolutely insufferable about this. Because of course he is. Jeff’s glad he didn’t take that bet.

Something swells in his chest, expanding his lungs, covering his insides with something as sweet and sticky as honey. He smiles at her, letting that sweetness seep out of him. “I’d like that.”

Tag List: @goosesister @scarlet-malfoy @mavernanche @manda-panda-monium @yoriposts @grtwdsmwhr @panicatthediaz @m-owo-n @goodolefashionedloverboi @chaosgremlinmunson @thespaceantwhowrites @perseus-notjackson @eyesofshinigami @hotluncheddie @novacorpsrecruit @nburkhardt @pansexuality-activated @silentiumdelirium @steaddie-on @steddie-as-they-go @redfreckledwolf @lavender248 @actualwakingnightmare

[anonymouspuzzler]

you know what? fuck you (heartbreak gulch's my own guys)

(@heartbreakgulch courtesy of the inimitable @strangegutz & collaborators, also miscellaneous Thoughts under the cut bc it's my blog no one can stop me the doors have closed behind you)

HEARTBREAKER BULKHEAD:

Probably does not have superpowers anymore but still came from a family of considerable influence and was under pressure to inherit, pressure which he very much Broke Under.

Turned to a life of crime, definitely got in over his head with it, and essentially got rescued by Eddie, who he is Utterly Obsessed With And Heartsick For.

Has spent literal years as one of Eddie's attack dogs and generally jumping through hoops for him for Whatever Scraps Of Affection He Can Get, though he's still kind of squeamish around Literal Murder and thus tends to be assigned to supply runs and such most of the time.

Amateur mechanic and car enthusiast. Probably did a lot of McGyver-ass fixes around the Gulch-slash-generally assisted Ami til Davey was recruited.

Speaking of, was still the guy who recruited-slash-rescued Davey. They fell for each other hard and are in a committed relationship now, which has helped Buck take a little bit of a healthier step back with whatever the hell he and Eddie have going on (and helped him be a little less jealous and curmudgeonly about the Hot Young Things In Town, ie Zeki and Felix).

Absolutely not prepared to be a guardian to Minnie which has led his and Eddie's whole Relationship to enter a fun new stage of "hey man can I ask you for parenting advice nothing weird"

HEARTBREAKER DYNAMO:

Pretty similar backstory to the Villain-Coded version. Civilian turned criminal, lost his arm when he got in over his head on a job and Buck rescued him.

Has a bunch of different prosthetics he swaps out for different purposes, ie. one for combat, one to use for mechanic work, a kinda general use/everyday one, etc. That said, he goes without a lot to make sure he's prepared for a situation where he doesn't have access/one breaks or fails on a job/etc.

An alarmingly good recruit; I feel like originally Eddie kind of let him stick around as a kind of "gift" to Buck, but now that he's actually got him on jobs he's become a real rising star. Real good in a scrap and is a little more flexible with his moral lines in the sand compared to Buck. Outside of that he works with Ami a lot doing mechanics and repairs - probably interested in learning CompanDroid maintenance/repair but figures it'd be skeevy for him to push that point too much.

He and Eddie have a complicated relationship I think. They'd be kinda suspicious/distrusting of each other but also have a LOT of similarities and work really well together. To say nothing of their respective relationships with Buck.

I don't think he's Trying to Uncle the younger recruits in the Gulch but he definitely Does. He likes White a lot. He and Ami would also definitely get along really well. He is being The Bigger Man and Mature Adult and not giving Felix a wedgie no matter how badly he wants to

HEARTBREAKER(?) MINNIE:

From the same family of prominence as Buck and is currently very much on the run after a failed attempt to kill her own dad.

Extremely a city kid and is Not necessarily adapting well to Middle Of Nowhere Self Sustained Living.

Knew Of Buck but never met him before this so his whole Life and Little Criminal Commune featuring Multiple Guys He's Got SOMETHING Going On With is. it's a lot

Would like to do some crime actually but is A) still a little traumatized and adjusting to the whole Situation and B) 13 Whole Real Human Years Old.

Fascinated by Zeki's whole deal and his work but I think they would absolutely bring out the worst in each other they would fight so much. Autism to autism hostility

Having a very complicated response to White and Ami wherein she thinks they're SO cool but interacting with them at any length would make her realize Things About Herself that she's not consciously ready to confront so just like. Imagine being White and looking over your shoulder and that 13 year old is just Intensely Staring At You Unblinking from around a corner and as soon as she realizes you've seen her she turns around and runs off as fast as she can directly into a wall

Zarita absolutely hitting that Cool Just Slightly Older Kid niche for her.

[sarnai4]

Concept Art

I found some concept art of Dagur and just feel the need to share for anyone who hasn't seen it yet. I'm soo glad they went with the one we got.

No offense to the other designs, but I just think it fits him better. I personally like Dagur being a redhead anyway, so I'm partial to those designs. But let's not focus solely on that.

The one in the middle underneath the official design looks like Gustav turned into somebody's creepy uncle. Could be a neat character, but he doesn't have the commanding look of a new chief or threatening villain.

Beneath that, there is 0 chance Stoick is letting him and Hiccup be unsupervised long enough for Hiccup to almost get drowned. This man looks like he's at least in his late 20s. Step away from the child, sir. Plus, he's so buff that it wouldn't have allowed for a nice visual passage of time with Dagur growing up more in prison.

To the left of that...I kind of want to see this guy as another character. I think he could be interesting, but again, too old to have been Hiccup's semi-playmate. Back to the hair (one more time, I promise), I like that Dagur's one of the few characters with thick hair, so it would've been a bit of a shame for it to be as thin as it is in this design.

The one to the right with the dark hair for some reason reminds me of Grimmel. I think it's the build. He looks a little too lean since they always make a big deal about Hiccup being thin.

I don't have much to say about the top right or the one diagonal from it. They look a bit too old again to seem like a kid just became chief, but that's it. I like that the one has tattoos, though.

Of the batch, my favorite concept one is the top(ish) right with the red hair. He's big, but he still looks youthful. I could imagine him being 18-19 and just having a muscular build for his age. That devious smirk too! He is up to something for sure. If I had to pick one reason why I'm glad that's not the official, I'd say it's because it almost reminds me of a traditional bully design. I think he's going to be giving Vikings wedgies and that might just be all the cartoons I've watched.

As it is, I really like what we got! Which concept is your favorite?

[my-mt-heart]

What else can I do, other than giving ol’ “Uncle Norm” a virtual atomic wedgie? I noticed it’s been days since you updated your blog and since Nine Lives Two Mics is on hiatus, it’s awfully quiet. Caryl fans are excited about Melissa’s stunt double’s horse, which is so stupid my eyeballs nearly rolled out of my head 🙄🙄🙄 The fandom needs more REAL content.

Anyways, hi! Hope you write more of your minsode, it was so good! How awesome would it be if you could write for Book of Carol??? 😍🤩🥰

Hi 😊

That’s one way of putting it 😂😂😂

The excitement shows that fans are ready for Carol to get a strong hero arc and go canon with Daryl (a white horse is a romantic image). They’ve been waiting a long time. That’s why the apparent lockdown on real Carol promotion—with Melissa, not just her stunt double—and Caryl hype is bothering me among other things 🤨 Lean into the audience’s desires. Capitalize on the goldmine you’re sitting on, AMC.

Thank you for reading the minisode. I do hope to write more, if not that prompt specifically, than another one. As for TBOC, I’d only write for a showrunner I trust 🤷🏻‍♀️

[thenewcaptainunderpants]

ACT 1 - PART 1: The Origin Story

In the years since Captain Underpants’ disappearance, his existence in Piqua has become an urban legend. Those able to give testimony decline, and the existing footage is blurry enough to be unable to identify a bald Mr. Krupp.

After graduation Jerome Horwitz, Kipper and his friends leveled up to middle school and then high school shortly after. In that time, Kipper started being taught how to drive by his uncle, Benjamin Krupp. During one of the lessons, the two ended up in a car accident that nearly killed Kipper. Benjamin donated some of his blood to Kipper, and that ended up saving his life. Unbeknownst to Kipper, Benjamin had also inadvertently given him superpowers.

In the present day, Kipper, Bugg, Loogie, and Fink have moved in together in an apartment complex in Piqua. While Bugg and Fink wrap up their third year of college, Kipper and Loogie have dropped out. Loogie’s taken a job as a video game beta tester, meanwhile Kipper is able to get a paid internship at Jerome Horwitz thanks to his uncle and dad. Kipper laments to himself about his stagnation, being stuck at the place where he was at his highest while his friends move on to better things. It feels like the others have everything figured out…so why doesn’t he?

The last day of school has passed and Krupp tests Kipper for the following year by unpacking old boxes from the storage. Kipper finds a box full of peculiar comics, and decides to take them home out of interest. 

Kipper arrives home with the comics, realizing they were written by old enemies George and Harold. The two admitted on his last day of Jerome Horwitz that the Wedgie Magee incident (which left the quartet emotionally scarred for several months) was a prank, but by that point it was too late for any of them to do anything. Kipper took it the hardest out of the group, so he’s the most reluctant to read the comics. Eventually, however, he gives them a try alongside his friends, and ends up liking them. Alongside the entire first volume of Captain Underpants comics, the reboot series co-written with Melvin Sneedly is present in its entirety as well, having far more issues. With it is a whoopie cushion, a picture of George and Harold with Captain Underpants that they think was photoshopped….

And the 3D HYPNO RING.

Bugg searches it up on Google and finds an old manual. For fun, the group decides to test it on each other, with Kipper reluctantly going first. While Loogie lures him into a trance and decides to turn him into Captain Underpants for kicks, Fink finds one last comic left behind in the box, titled “The TRUE Origin Story of Captain Underpants: A Cautionary Tale”. Fink reads it and interrupts the hypnosis, causing Kipper to go in and out of trance. He takes off his clothes and rips off a curtain before stepping onto the balcony and teetering on the edge. The trio realize Kipper has left and go after him, reversing the process by Bugg saying “Kipper Krupp, wake up!” and snapping his fingers. Kipper awakes, realizing what’s going on, but it’s too late.

He falls off the balcony, stopping just above the cars and floating in place. In a panicked, stressful night for the four, Kipper discovers his powers and gets into several accidents trying  to get back into his apartment. Kipper becomes incredibly frustrated upon reading the True Origin Story and heads to bed angry. 

In the distance, Captain Underpants’ energy signature is detected by a mysterious robot from within an underground bunker. That robot breaks out of the bunker and begins to make its way towards Piqua.

Kipper and Loogie hitch a ride with Bugg and Fink, carrying the comics. Kipper plans to burn the box at a dumpster near the grocery store, only for the ride to be interrupted by the arrival of the robot, called The Slammer by the panicked civilians as the car pulls into the parking lot of a nearby mall where the group ducks into a store with broken lights. While the group panics, Loogie tries in a desperate effort to convince Kipper to go out there and confront the robot, as he’s the only person who can right now. 

Kipper finally reluctantly agrees, but on the condition that he goes out in the cooler (and less revealing) costume in the reboot comics. Kipper takes flight for the first time and confronts the Slammer head on, a battle ensuing and lengthened both by the robot’s durability and Kipper’s inexperience. Taking notes from his school sports days, he’s able to get an upper hand on the robot before pinning him down, taking him out. The citizens of Piqua cheer on their new hero as he disappears into the light..

The next day, Kipper arrives at Jerome Horwitz for the next day of his internship, meeting up with his uncle. Having read the origin comic, he repeatedly snaps his finger to test and yet…nothing happens. With questions in the air and new responsibilities laying on Kipper’s shoulders, the new waistband warrior wonders what’s next in store for him…..

----------------------

The news spreads of a new tighty-whity sensation in Piqua. In the nearby futuristic city of Heiwise, Melvin Sneedly sees the news from his dorm in Elitinati Academy. Surprised by the news, he contacts two old friends.

----------------------

The Society of Robes senses a disturbance in the natural order as they continue their search for the alien robe that broke free years ago. Reality as they know it is going to change forever, and Piqua is going to be the epicenter. Upon receiving the news of a new Captain Underpants, Robicus is assigned to finding this new caped crusader and preparing them for the shift to come.

----------------------

A phone call is held between the CEO of the new booming toiletries company, Body’s Delights, and an executive at the Piqua Order Of Professional Space and Interplanetary Explorers (P.O.O.P.S.I.E.) regarding the storing of some “precious assets” that got prematurely released for unknown reasons. The CEO reassures the executive that it was a mere technical failure and that he’ll make sure it doesn’t occur again.

With P.O.O.P.S.I.E. subdued, Theodore Murdsley hangs up and looks out the window, the news of a new Captain Underpants on his mind.

“It’s finally time, isn’t it….?”

----------------------

[dr-jem-nutcase]

I got bored so I made some MvA parenting HCs

Susan

Her kids are probably named after their grandparents and/or great-grandparents

From day one, her lock screen and home screen on her computer, tablet, phone, etc. are pictures of her kids

The best monster with babies

Does her best to be really gentle, considering her size and strength

Holds her kids when they cry (no matter how old they are) and puts together/orders their favorite snack if they had a bad day

The type of mom who lets her kids' artwork cover the fridge doors and later keeps them in a box in her storage space for all eternity and only throws away stuff like any food crafts that started growing mold

Lots. And lots. And lots. And lots of pictures and videos

Bedtime stories every night, no matter how she feels. And almost always from a book

If she has daughter, she LOVES styling their hair: pigtails, curlers (for stuff like Christmas pictures), hair clips, you name it

As a former fashionista, she loves coordinating her kids' outfits. But if they don't want to wear matching outfits, she'll respect that

Watches a movie first to see if there's anything she thinks is inappropriate and keeps her own streaming accounts under lock and key (albeit digitally). She wants to protect her kids' innocence while she still can

Handling the other monsters in occasions like their two visits to Modesto (in the movie & Halloween special) gave her plenty of practice for handling problematic kids

The teen years are hard because she's learning to give her kids some sense of independence and just the fact that they're growing up, as much as she always wants to be there for them. Just wait until they graduate high school and leave for college

B.O.B.

Everyone knows he means well but they know better than to leave him alone with a child. It'd be no better than leaving a toddler alone with an actual baby

Has a baby doll or animal plushie instead and takes VERY good care of it...until he gets distracted

So yeah, no different from a three-year-old with a baby doll

Link

More comfortable being the uncle type than a dad

The awkward but fun uncle who lets his nieces/nephews do a lot of the things their parents wouldn't allow like staying up past their bedtime, wrestling, driving his jeep before the legal age, having Twinkies and root beer for breakfast, etc.

He goes into a mild panic when he loses sight of them

He tells the kids embarrassing stories about their parents in their younger years

He'd also teach them "valuable life lessons" like how to give someone a wedgie or actually legit stuff like "follow your heart but for Pete's sake take your brain with you"

Ok, now to the parent part!

NOT fond at all of late nights or early mornings when it comes to babies and kids

Scared to death of holding babies, even if they were his own babies. Like he's gonna accidentally break them or something. Also he's also very uneasy when a baby cries in a close proximity, like he has no idea what to do, like how do you make it stop?

You know what? Be a dear and don't leave him alone with anyone under the age of two, just to save his poor nerves

Rarely calls his kids by their names. He calls them nicknames like kid, squirt, slugger, champ, etc.

Likes to roughhouse with his kids but has to remember not to be too rough. Lets them win in a wrestling match and then denies his defeat, playfully of course

Lots of beach trips and trips to anywhere without cold water. Those kids will learn how to swim before they learn to walk

Lets them turn up the volume on any music. Anything except classical, traditional country/bluegrass, 2000s-early 2010s boy bands, or anything that gets easily gets stuck in your head ("Let It Go" was the worst 3½ minutes of every day for at least 1-2 years)

Mess with his kid(s), and he'll knock you into next week

He would rather have his kids go after sports and athletics than chess, spelling bees, or piano lessons. He says, "how are those gonna prepare them for the future?"

Handles teenagers better than the other monsters. He's a cool dad

Graduations and sports games/competitions? Proudest papa there ever was

Dr C

We already got to see a bit of dadroach in the TV series, but let's add some more, shall we?

Measures their height and the circumference of their heads on a regular basis as they grow up, a nod to Marie Curie and her 2 daughters

Helps out with their homework, that's a no brainer [TV show h/c: Smarty is strictly forbidden to help, as much as he and the kids might try]

Sets curfews, limits their amount of screen time and junk food, works out a nutritious balanced meal plan complete with daily vitamins

Wants everything, from media to pastimes to outings, to be educational and intellectually stimulating but enjoyable, which he has to work on the latter

Posh and elegant upbringing. Girls are brought up as fine ladies and boys as refined gentlemen. Not that they can't be rambunctious or play tough sports or anything, but they're brought up to not slouch or put their elbows on the dining table

In the meantime, he has to try to remember to not be an overly practical parent. As Link says, "Doc, you gotta let a few of their brain cells rot every now and then"

Reads books on child psychology every night, albeit when everyone else is asleep. He's quite thankful for these

Nobody's allowed in his lab [area], not until they're in high school. Though one time 1-2 of the kids snuck into the lab when he was away. He found out about this later; he didn't say or do anything, no grounding or lectures or anything, but he installed security cameras around the area with a big warning note on the entry way

Has a really hard time with teenagers, probably the hardest time out of all the monsters or Monger

Embarrasses his teenage kid(s) to no end. Most of the time he doesn't mean to. The lame "dad" jokes (like "cat's me-wow") and the maniacal laughter are always gonna be the death of them

Graduations? He wants his kids to go on and succeed in colleges and universities but he has had to learn and accept the fact that it won't be the end of the world if they pursue something else besides a degree

(Criminelly! I really need to relearn to draw this guy again!)

Insecto

Two words: Mama Bear

Makes this soft purring sound as a means of comforting

Monger

It's kind of a sick idea to make a 90 y.o. man a father to children, so let's time travel to the 1940s-60s

His kids are early risers, no sleeping in

They wake up every morning to that same bugle wake-up tune from the military

Instills patriotism into them. They stand for the national anthem with their hands over their hearts, know the pledge of allegiance, etc.

Nobody gives an evil eye like Papa Monger

They eat whatever's set in front of them at the table. No ifs, ands, or buts

The upbringing and memories of his Mama Monger are his bible

The only lazy days are Sundays. He holds that old school/southern regard that Sundays are different from the other days of the week (he's not religious btw)

If he has daughters, they're going to get their hands dirty. No sense in get a manicure hours before working in a barn, so prettying up is for special occasions only

His sons are manly men and are taught how to treat a lady

After-school activities other than homework include helping out at the farm and extra PE

Thinks public school PE is inadequate and "for sissies". His kids might as well train for the army or a post-apocalyptic world: chin-up bars, rope climbing, the mother of hopscotch, target practice, survival skills, even parkour, etc.

Takes them camping every summer, and we're talking tents, campfires, etc. No glamping, let alone any electricity (except for flashlights)

The only pets allowed are herding dogs (collies, shepherds, heelers, etc.). They're not just pets; they're working dogs for the farm too. They get to sleep on the front porch, much to the kids' chagrin

Believe it or not, he gets pretty uneasy when it comes to a girl's time of the month. He hides it pretty well though. Shopping for female sanitary items and any food cravings is one of his worst nightmares

Probably the most intimidating dad to meet if someone wanted to date his daughter(s)

Nobody's allowed to use his jetpacks, though he does want to teach his kids how to use a parachute. They'll get one of their own when they turn 18 or 21

On their graduation or wedding day? so proud that he could cry...if he hadn't lost his tear ducts in the war

Invisible Man [my h/c is that he had 3 kids, so let's go!]

Was pretty stinkin excited and nervous about being a dad. He fell in love with it all on the day his eldest was born

His eldest, a boy, is an almost literal clone of him, minus the invisibility of course

The favorite parent hands-down

Waited until his kids grew up a little to take them on road trips or any special vacations because he wanted them to remember those experiences for themselves. "You can't take a six-month-old to the Grand Canyon." He told his wife. "They'll never remember it!"

The type of dad that hugs his kids and picks them up when he gets home from work

Best piggyback rides in the world

Didn't mind it one bit when he carried his sleeping kids to bed, even if they pretended to be asleep

Bedtime stories every night to the best of his ability. Most of the time, he'd ditch the books and create his own stories

The one way his kids could REALLY make him mad was by disrespecting their mom in any way, shape, or form

The warmest his heart had ever been was when one of his sons told him, "I wanna be just like you, daddy". That man was over the moon for quite some time

[paladin-of-nerd-fandom65]

You’re welcome for the asks, got some more for you :)

1: do they give each other piggy back rides?

2: how often do they hang out besides at school? Everyday, once a week, etc

3: when Jake performs a wedgie on a goon does he pull the waistband up or pulls the part of the underwear underneath the butt up? Also I can see him pulling the underwear down causing Chris to cover his eyes XD

4: do they plus mar’i have any mental issues besides PTSD? Like OCD, autism, etc…

5: what was Chris’s relationship like with Jon & Kon when he first joined the family?

6: what’s their favorite thing to do in December?

1. Oh most certainly they will, especially after long missions and patrol nights should either of them be exhausted. Despite Jake’s insistence and the few exceptions he’s been able to, majority of the time, Chris is the one carrying Jake like that. Jake doesn’t mind it too much though, he’s quite used to it and if anything it’s as comfortable as when his Big Sis and Uncle Tim(my) piggyback carry him

2. About Every Once a week, mainly at their respective central city parks if crime rates are relatively slow or maybe even if they have their allowances saved up, at their local theme park packed with massive roller coasters, arcade games and snack stalls. Usually they go there for testing new dares in said roller coasters or if new rides are built and open. Plus also, numerous ride photos they post later online because it’s always fun to look out how much either they freak out or even not when in a coaster train going at 75 mph down 189 ft.

3. He always aims for the waistband as he has the strength to successfully lift the crook with even a single arm without any fabric being ripped apart. Plus while that sounds funny, even Jake knows a bit better than going that far with pantsing crooks. That’s more or less actually something Lian as Speedy would do with her arrows, courtesy of being trained be her dad.

4. As explained, Chris can reasonably be diagnosed with C-PTSD and Anxiety Disorder due to his past with his birth Father and all the horrors he had bare witnessed to even prior to meeting Clark.

Now as for Mar’i, she herself has so far not displayed major symptoms of mental disorders but is nonetheless researching on the subject so she can properly understand to the best of her abilities how it works and what are the best treatments when those conditions are active, so that she can be a comforting presence for a prison suffering a mental breakdown.

Then there’s Jake. Prior to his duel with Zsasz, he already exhibited some symptoms of social anxiety, especially prominent almost every single start of a school year which has new teachers, new potential classmates to meet, new expectations and an overall feeling of a differing crowds to try blending into from before, making it difficult for him to feel like he fits in.

Post Zsasz, though no doubt he exhibits symptoms of PTSD, haunted in his mind more so by the gruesome marks and wounds those poor orphans in that orphanage he investigate were left in, no doubt in his mind in betting that they actively suffered being their lives end. The fact many of those slain orphans were around his age range with 8 years at youngest and 12 at oldest, he feels a sense of survivor’s guilt and shame in that he feels he could’ve saved them had he only known. Couple that with how sadistic, cruel and diabolical Zsasz himself was in their duel with each thrust, swipe and twisting of that blade onto his then powerless self at that very duel, he perfectly then understood what those orphans had felt and likely would’ve died the same exact way had it not been for the timely intervention of his allies that moment (whether it be Chris in the revised version or his family in the original version as seen in my fic ‘Broken Wings’).

5. With Jon, the then 4 year old was curious and quickly ecstatic of having a big brother to be around, like having a brand new friend. Chris was very first was a tad nervous around Jon, afraid to hurt or scare him away with his background and where he came from. But over the course of the first few weeks of staying over, Chris started clicking with Jon all too easily as they bonded with numerous brotherly things they did together, helped along by Clark being there for the both.

Then there’s Conner, who first emerged at least in the timeline around when Chris and Jon were 7 and 5 respectively in the aftermath of the emergence and defeat of Doomsday (Clark himself actually survived this encounter but he was left in critical condition and taken to a hospital. However the press had claimed of Superman being killed in the process and Clark had lost his powers for a good while. It was in the period between this Doomsday encounter and Clark’s powers being restored did Conner, Steel, Eradicator and Cyborg Superman arise to fill in for his role).

Conner had thought of Chris like someone that embodies the awkward nature of his relationship with Clark, in that Clark was so quick to take in this unrelated child yet with him there seems being some sort of rift from the get go. Conner can understand where that rift comes from but it still annoyed him a bit. He didn’t wanna break Chris and Jon’s hearts though so he accepts looking over them whenever Clark, Lois and Kara were extra busy.

During these times they stay with him, mainly at Martha and Pa’s place at Smallville, he finds a sort of kinship with the boys. The fact they look up to him as a big superhero and are awe of his own tales of hero work while being all the cool certainly helps. Sure he twitches every time they refer to him as ‘Superboy’ instead of ‘Superman’ but it’s the thought and appreciation that truly counts. It’s about weeks of doing this and having the bond firmly in place when Conner begins to think of maybe….making these two as cool as him one day, as he’ll show them the right way of being a superhero.

6. Since both Hamilton County and Bludhaven can get a good amount of snow fall and frozen lakes that are available for skating, making snow angels, building snow replicas of Haley and Krypto and even some hockey on said frozen lakes with their siblings are what I envision Chris and Jake doing in December, let alone the winter

[vampirekittn]

some of my eddie munson headcanons <3

• the first song he learned on the guitar was "smoke on the water" by deep purple

• he always has a giant pile of dirty laundry in his room

• babies kind of freak him out

• he had a pet lizard as a kid that he found outside one day & just decided to keep him

• he sniffs his hair to see how much longer he can go without having to wash it

• loves super cheesy horror movies & loves adding his own commentary & making fun of them

• his favorite holiday is halloween & he dresses up every year

• him & his uncle wayne like smoking w33d together

• the stains on his mattress are a combination of old sweat stains & bong water stains

• even though his favorite holiday is halloween, he also has a soft spot for christmas bc he loves giving his friends really random gifts

• his favorite judas priest song is "the sentinel" & will argue that it's the best judas priest song ever created

• very clumsy & trips over his own feet a lot

• loves when he comes across stray cats in his trailer park & will feed them whatever snacks he can find in his pantry

• his favorite anthrax song is "metal thrashing mad"

• often drools on his pillow when he's asleep & is a surprisingly heavy sleeper

• loves thumb wrestling & will win every time

• has given dustin countless wedgies (out of love)

• despite being kind of uncoordinated & clumsy, he's great at climbing trees

• eats meat but can't think about it too much or he'll get sad because he'll start thinking about the animals

• when he has a crush on someone, he loves to tease them & act cool & tough but actually gets really nervous & flustered around them

• he's read the lord of the rings series countless times

• forgets how loud he left the radio on the last time he was in his van & scares himself the next time he starts it

• has an incredibly fast metabolism & is almost always hungry

• is almost always late for school but is never late to hellfire club

• very very rarely lets people touch his hair, he'll only let you touch his hair if he likes you

• same goes for his guitar, he'll only let you touch it if he likes you

[sofiiel]

I've got so many headcanons about what Eddie Munson was like a kid. So just going to drop them here.

Little Eddie sleeps with a night light. His dad doesn't approve, and his mother while she's still in the picture doesn't care one way or the other. His Uncle Wayne gives him a lava lamp to use instead, that way his dad can stop giving him the blues.

When he was five, his dad tried to teach him to ride a bike. He skipped over the tricycle most kids start out with and tried to teach him on a bike handed down from a work friend's child. The kid was older than Eddie, so the bike was too big. His dad pushed him around the trailer park for hours. Little Eddie is enjoying the time with his dad that isn't strained and keeps telling him his not ready for his dad to let go, so he can ride on his own.

His dad made him get buzz cuts because his hair reminded him too much of Eddie's mom, who left them both behind wanting a career for herself and having a child young was not ready for the responsibility.

Little Eddie's musical taste comes from both his parents, but he doesn't like to admit that his dad got him started on a love for metal.

Eddie's mom inspired him to learn guitar, she had an acoustic and used to play for him to help him sleep. He remembers those days well.

Little Eddie liked to catch frogs, slugs, and bugs. Keeping them jars because he wasn't allowed to have a pet. The Pet rock just didn't cut it. In his pursuit of having a pet, he also offered to watch or play with the neighbors dogs.

He gets letters and gifts from his mother for every holiday and his birthday. She comes to town to visit sometimes. She's out traveling the world, or that's what the letters say.

Little Eddie tried to find a shortcut around learning to tie his shoes and used the twist ties from bread bags to twist the laces together.

He and Jeff go way back and used to play pretend out in the woods, LARPing pretty much in the same way they would at a DnD table. Pretending to fight off trolls and go on grand adventures.

Eddie's dad, Wayne and Reefer Rick, were friends in high school and in the summer they take Eddie out fishing near Rick's house.

Little Eddie helped his dad get dates by being adorable with the 'single dad' routine at the park and at the store. It worked pretty well, but Eddie was never really keen on any other woman being around, as he still had hopes that his mom would come back one day.

Uncle Wayne used to give Eddie's dad money to put under Eddie's pillow from the tooth fairy. His dad didn't believe it in at first, but the two men got a laugh when Little Eddie started putting his friend's teeth under the pillow for extra money. He'd talk them into saving their teeth and giving them to him. He's always had a hustle.

Eddie's first guitar was the acoustic his mother left him. It was far too big, but he grew into it eventually.

He was the kind of kid that always came home filthy and found some kind of mischief.

Eddie was protective of his friends, and would try to be the big bad around bullies, but in reality he wasn't very tough at all, and it usually ended with all of them getting swirlies or wedgies from the bigger kids.

His dad taught him how to even the playing ground in a fight. Using ab object to protect himself.

His dad worked as a mechanic for a while as a side job, and Little Eddie used to help him work on cars on the weekends out in front of the trailer. Handing him tools and sitting in the cars while his dad showed him various things.

Before his mother left, she tried to be a good mom. She's pack him lunches for the day, cut him heart shaped sandwiches and leave him notes. She'd make him pancakes on Sundays and read to him before bed. Not only that, but she's the one who got him into fantasy.

Wayne would pick up Little Eddie early in the morning when he got home from the plant. Still in his footie pajamas to take him to the local dinner to eat breakfast together.

When he was 10 he took his dad car out on a joyride with his friends and almost made it completely out of Hawkins before getting it stuck in a ditch.

Little Eddie used to get in trouble at school for having too many doodles on his homework and not enough actual work.

Little Eddie was a fire alarm puller.

A/N: well that went on forever and that's not even all of them lol

[adultswim2021]

The Boondocks #30: “The Uncle Ruckus Reality Show” | March 23, 2008, - 10:30PM | S02E15 Aired on Teletoon. Aired on Adult Swim May 30, 2020 @12:00AM

Eagle-eared viewers of last week’s episode may remember dialogue suggesting Uncle Ruckus having his own reality show on BET. BET was established as being actually evil, actively trying to harm black people with it’s programming. This episode follows that one, but also gives you an ample introduction to the concept of BET as an evil force in case you didn’t catch the first episode. I genuinely wonder if these two episodes were intended to be run back to back or what.

A connection I failed to make while covering the first episode is that Wedgie Rudlin is a parody of Reginald Hudlin, who LITERALLY HAS AN EXECUTIVE PRODUCER CREDIT ON THE BOONDOCKS. He helped develop the pilot. So, the man they are mocking (the part where he instructs the entire boardroom to take out a copy of the Black Panther comic he wrote and read it feels particularly scathing to me) is also legally recognized as an Executive Producer for this show. Hilarious. 

This episode is pretty great. It’s just Uncle Ruckus being Uncle Ruckus, which is to say he’s saying all the things every single one of you racist bastards is thinking but are too chicken to say out loud. He shows off his shrine to people my father unironically also has photos of (Except for Manilow, replace that with a photo of himself shaking hands with Newt Gingrich). The plot is basically Ruckus believes that he is actually white, so he goes to one of them Ancestry experts and has his DNA tested. He finds out he’s extremely African and has an existential crisis (102 percent African with a 2 percent margin of error - GREAT JOKE). He eventually attempts suicide, which is the funniest scene: they cut from him hanging up the noose in his house to the camera crew ghoulishly capturing it.

It ends sorta predictably, where BET has the doctor redo Ruckus’ test with new results, bringing back the status quo of the show. But that’s okay, this one’s about the hang more than anything. There are good Ruckus episodes, but this might the SIGNATURE Uncle Ruckus episode. It’s also a very funny episode in general. Best of the season? Maybe?? I don’t feel like figuring it out so I’ll just say “Maybe??”! 

MAIL BAG

do you have a favorite "wurster-ism"? a least favorite?

Well, I--

a "wurst", if you will? LOL

LOL. The man is a treasure, I’m not sure I can think of a least favorite. There was a thing he does very infrequently that always gets me, which is that Tom will say “excuse me?” and the Wurster character says “did you fart?” like it’s the most clever thing ever said. 

Okay, this is a mild cop-out, but the time he DID NOT make me laugh was when I had a VHS compilation of Bob and David stuff, and it included the Superchunk video for “Watery Hands”. The joke of the video is that David Cross and Girl David Cross make a very bad video, and the band is sitting on a couch watching it and sometimes we cut back to them looking puzzled by it. At the end, Jon Wurster goes ���BRA-VOH!” and starts clapping, only to get stared down by his bandmates. I remember being an arrogant comedy-liker and scolding him in my head for DARING to out-funny David Cross and Girl David Cross. I truly is my “Moment of Irony” like in that one routine by Fat David Cross.

[rancid-rotten-slobs]

Initially Katie thinks she’s going to the failing casino to cover its redesign as a puff piece. That is until she’s handed her uniform and informed the recent change in her contract

"Sigh... Welcome to the Happy Devil's play palace were fun and food combine... I'm sour pants Katie and I'll be your waiter for the evening, please enjoy out all you can eat pizza buffet or try out our arcade section." Katie wanted to smash her head against the wall as she repeated the lines Charlie drilled into her head. After the TV network was bought out by the princess of hell Katie was immediately reassigned to work at the princess' new passion project she inherited from her uncle.

The form news anchor was forced to be one of the many mascots of the establishment and serve all the gross slobby customers that made up the target audience. Instead of being a girl boss news caster she was a punching bag for the customers to toy with and tease. She had soda poured down her pants, pizza slices stuffed in her rolls of fat and had been wedgied to the top of the jungle gym on atleast 3 separate occasions.

"Someone kill me..." she groaned her childish outfit crinkling as she served a table their pizza. Instead of a tip she was given a disgusting fart to the face as her reward for putting up with this hell hole.

"Don't forget to smile Katie! You look perfect! Oh don't forget you and Verosika have a show in five minutes!" Charlie giggled as she passed the tormented employee carrying a clip board in one hand and a rolled up pizza burrito in the other.

[fzzr]

The Three Supernatural Threat Levels

I posit that there are only three levels of threat a superhero or similar stronger-than-average-person-who-defends-others can face: Danger to people you know, your home city, or everyone everywhere. I believe that the city level is the true ideal, and it's possible to get its benefits without sacrificing the increased stakes of everyone-everywhere threats.

Pretty much every origin story by necessity starts at "people you know". Uncle Ben gets capped, you realize the only person who can dig your friend out of that mess in time is you, this classmate of mine has a supernatural affliction I can solve if only they let me. Whether it ends in relief or tragedy, this crystallizes the idea that you have the ability to be the person who keeps others safe and great responsibility etc.

Not too long after the origin story the scope often scales up to "your home city." Naturally to keep things somewhat personal there will be regular returns to the smaller scale to dig Lois Lane or MJ out of whatever mess they coincidentally or deliberately ended up in, but that's often just to keep a human face on a city-wide catastrophe. This combination of ability to raise the stakes and keep familiar characters involved is what makes protect-my-city the sweet spot for this kind of story. Even Superman, who is fully equipped to grab every arms dealer on the planet in under a day and drop them in front of the Hague, usually just hangs out in Metropolis keeping an ear out for supernatural terrorists or extremely unlucky purse snatchers.

In the fullness of time, the writer(s) will inevitably want to raise the stakes by making the scope of a threat bigger than the city. The trouble is, once you're past this point there is no longer a natural ceiling. A tidal wave is going to wipe out the whole east coast! If you don't stop the villain from setting off that nuke, volcanos will cause an ice age! That space wedgie is going to eat the sun! If you don't convince an incomprehensibly powerful alien that life's sweetness outweighs all its suffering, they will wipe the universe out and start over! Every multiverse is colliding and an infinite number of everyone will never have existed unless you dethrone and replace God!

It's all the same. Once you're outside a place where the reader can recognize landmarks they've seen imperiled and rescued countless times, what's the difference? There's a reason the Golden Gate Bridge and Lady Liberty get fragged so often - they are so recognizable that they act as partial replacements for the neighborhood donut joint your protagonist always hits after a long night of roughing up mentally ill thugs.

Thankfully, there is a way to balance raised stakes and constrained scope. It's simply to keep the focus on the city scale while still addressing the larger scope problem. Sure, a zombie apocalypse has reduced humanity to a remnant of a remnant, and only you can save everyone - but for the purpose of this story we're just seeing the impact on your city. Use some Pripyat imagery and the reader will be able to extrapolate the damage to "everyone".

I used mostly superhero examples so far, but this was primarily inspired by two anime series: Shakugan no Shana and (Bake)monogatari. In both of them, the main character enters the hidden world where they try to fix supernatural problems with varying degrees of success.

Shana spends most of its time at the city level. In the end it follows the conventional progression from saving your friends to saving the world. I like how it balances all three scales in the final battle. The well-intentioned "I'm not the bad guy says guy laughing maniacally in his throne room in a floating fortress" character is about to cause a supernatural apocalypse, but his floating fortress is positioned right above the riverbank where the protagonists first agreed to work together to help people however they can. (Of course, as is tradition, a close friend is held hostage in the throne room.)

Monogatari spends most of its time at the personal level - indeed each arc is roughly named after the single character in peril and the peril they are facing. In a mid-series arc, the protagonist and his vampire partner break the One Rule Of Time Travel and return to realize they butterfly-effected a zombie apocalypse. There is not a single person to be found - until they visit the park from episode 3 and speak to a familiar but changed character.

This is how you do it. The threat isn't to the world, it's what the thing happening to the world will do to the people and places the reader actually cares about.

[pantypup]

Presuming wedgies reign on top, what's the hierarchy for bullying tactics?

Wedgies

Pantsing

Swirlies

Wet-willies

Titty-Twister

Ball Busting/Crotch Shots

There's weird nuances to this where like, I guess noogies are bullying but thats like, annoying uncle and less cartoon jerk and name calling is fun, but like, on it's own is just alright, add it in with this stuff, is v good hehe

[2klover]

I need someone’s dad or uncle to pin me down and give me a wedgie so bad.

[brookston]

Holidays 4.2

Holidays

April Facts Day

Arizona Gives Day (Arizona)

Autism Acceptance Day (Abeldane Empire)

Education and Sharing Day

Elevate Your Sprinkler Day

Flag Day (Azores; Portugal)

Great Lovers Day

Green Day

Hecuba Asteroid Day

International Children's Book Day

International Fact-Checking Day

International Passover Joke Day

International 2x4 Day

International Wedgie Day

Love Your Produce Manager

Malvinas Day (Argentina)

Mint Day

Morel Day (French Republic)

National All Things Detroit Day

National Buy a New Dildo Day

National Cryocooler Day

National Day of Prayer & Fast (Liberia)

National DIY Day

National Elevate Your Sprinkler Day

National Ferret Day

National Handmade Day

National Love Your Produce Manager Day

National Out to Win Day

National Reconciliation Day

National Ride Your Horse to a Bar Day

Odisha Day (India)

Pascua Florida Day (Florida)

Pharmacists in Public Health Day

Preen-tail Day (a.k.a. Tallie Day; Scotland)

Reconciliation Day

Taily Day (Scotland)

Thai Heritage Conservation Day (Thailand)

Velcro Day

Veterans Day (Argentina)

World Autism Awareness Day

Food & Drink Celebrations

National Peanut Butter and Jelly Day

1st Tuesday in April

Garlic Tuesday (in “The Legend of Dick and Dom”) [1st Tuesday]

National Family Caregiver Day (Canada) [1st Tuesday]

National Healthy Schools Day [1st Tuesday]

National Service Recognition Day [1st Tuesday]

Oncology Nursing Day (Canada) [1st Tuesday]

Sexual Assault Awareness Month’s Day of Action [1st Tuesday]

Southland Anniversary Day (New Zealand) [Tuesday after Easter]

Weekly Holidays beginning April 2 (1st Week)

International Dark Sky Week [thru 4.8]

Independence & Related Days

African Federation (Declared; 2001) [unrecognized]

Capi (Declared; 2017) [unrecognized]

Punjab (Annexed by UK; 1849)

Southland Province Day (New Zealand)

Union Day (Russia and Belarus; 1996; Belarus)

Festivals Beginning April 2, 2024

Pan Celtic Festival (Carlow, Ireland) [thru 4.6]

Feast Days

Abundius of Como (Christian; Saint)

Æbbe the Younger (Christian; Saint)

Amphianus of Lycia (Christian; Saint)

Apian of Lycia (Christian; Saint)

Apphiam and Theodosia (Christian; Martyrs)

Bronach of Glen-Seichis (Irish martyrology)

Constantine, King of Scotland (Christian; Saint)

Day to Carry Death Away (Parts of Ancient Germany; Everyday Wicca)

Ebba (a.k.a. Abba; Christian; Saint)

Émile Zola (Writerism)

Existential Angst Day (Pastafarian)

Euclid (Positivist; Saint)

Feast of Acan (Mayan God of Alcohol)

Francis of Paola (Christian; Saint)

Francisco Coll Guitart (Christian; Saint)

Hans Christian Andersen (Writerism)

Henry Budd (Anglican Church of Canada)

James Lloyd Breck (Anglican Church)

Kanamara Matsuri (Festival of the Steel Phallus; Japan)

Macha’s Race Day (Pagan)

Mary of Egypt (Christian; Saint)

Max Ernst (Artology)

Nicetius of Lyon (Christian; Saint)

Night of the Evil Clown (Church of the SubGenius)

Passouter (Church of the SubGenius; Saint)

Pedro Calungsod (Christian; Saint)

Semana Santa (Spain)

Sizdeh Be-dar (Nature Day; Ancient Persia) [13 Days after Vernal Equinox]

Spring Fever Medical Aid Appeal (Shamanism)

Theodosia of Tyre (Christian; Saint)

Urban of Langres (Christian; Saint) [coopers, drunkards, vintners]

Wheel and Trisket Day (Celtic Book of Days)

William Holman Hunt (Artology)

Christian Liturgical Holidays

Easter Tuesday (Australia, Cyprus, Nauru) [Tuesday after Easter]

Lucky & Unlucky Days

Lucky Day (Philippines) [19 of 71]

Lucky Green Day

Sensho (先勝 Japan) [Good luck in the morning, bad luck in the afternoon.]

Premieres

The Ant from Uncle (Ant and the Aardvark Cartoon; 1969)

As the World Turns (TV Soap Opera; 1956)

The Beatles 1962-1966, by The Beatles (Greatest Hits Album; 1973)

The Beatles 1967-1970, by The Beatles (Greatest Hits Album; 1973)

Blue Monday (MGM Cartoon; 1938)

Bosko’s Party (WB LT Cartoon; 1932)

Canyon Bomber (Atari 2600 Video Game; 1979)

Cat People (Film; 1982)

The Crush (Film; 1993)

Dallas (TV Series; 1978)

Der Wald (The Forest), by Ethel Smyth (Opera; 1902)

Doraemon (Anime Series; 1979)

Geri’s Game (Pixar Cartoon; 1997)

Gustav (a.k.a. Gustavus or Gusztáv; Hungarian Cartoon Series; 1966)

Hellboy (Film; 2004)

Home on the Range (Animated Film; 2004)

House Hunting Mice (WB LT Cartoon; 1947)

I Walk the Line, recorded y Johnny Cash (Song; 1956)

The Long Good Friday (Film; 1982)

Mama Said, by Lenny Kravitz (Album; 1991)

Oh! Susanna (Terrytoons Cartoon; 1933)

Popeye’s 20th Anniversary (Fleischer/Famous Popeye Cartoon; 1954)

Private Pluto (Disney Cartoon; 1943)

Ready Steady Goes Live! (UK TV Series; 1965)

Rituel in Memoriam Bruno Maderna, by Pierre Boulez (Orchestral Work; 1975)

Rock and Roll All Nite, by KISS (Song; 1975)

Sandy Claws (WB LT Cartoon; 1955)

The Singing Nun (Film; 1966)

Slink Pink (Pink Panther Cartoon; 1959)

A Star is Hatched (WB MM Cartoon; 1938)

Symphony No. 1 in C, by Ludwig Van Beethoven (Symphony; 1800)

The Twelve Chairs, by Ilya Ilf (Novel; 1928)

2001 A Space Odyssey (Film; 1968)

Wolf! Wolf! (Oswald the Lucky Rabbit Cartoon; 1934)

Today’s Name Days

Franz, Mirjam, Sandra (Austria)

Božidara, Dragoljub, Franjo (Croatia)

Erika (Czech Republic)

Theodosius (Denmark)

Ene, Eneken, Enel, Eneli, Enelin (Estonia)

Pellervo (Finland)

Sandrine (France)

Frank, Franz, Mirjam, Sandra (Germany)

Áron (Hungary)

Emilia, Francesco, Ginevra, Grazia, Graziella, Isotta, Regina, Selene, Selenio (Italy)

Glita, Irmgarde, Zemvaldis (Latvia)

Elona, Jostautas, Jostautė, Pranas, Pranciškus (Lithuania)

Sigvard, Sivert (Norway)

Franciszek, Sądomir, Urban, Władysław, Władysława (Poland)

Tit (Romania)

Svetlana (Russia)

Zita (Slovakia)

Francisco (Spain)

Gudmund, Ingemund (Sweden)

Rad, Radoslav (Ukraine)

Ebba, Eboni, Ebony, Gardenia, Gardner, Garnet, Garnett (USA)

Today is Also…

Day of Year: Day 93 of 2024; 273 days remaining in the year

ISO: Day 2 of week 14 of 2024

Celtic Tree Calendar: Fearn (Alder) [Day 17 of 28]

Chinese: Month 2 (Ding-Mao), Day 24 (Bing-Shen)

Chinese Year of the: Dragon 4722 (until January 29, 2025)

Hebrew: 23 Adair II 5784

Islamic: 23 Ramadan 1445

J Cal: 3 Cyan; Threesday [3 of 30]

Julian: 20 March 2024

Moon: 44%: Waning Crescent

Positivist: 9 Archimedes (4th Month) [Aristæus]

Runic Half Month: Ehwaz (Horse) [Day 8 of 15]

Season: Spring (Day 15 of 92)

Week: 1st Week of April

Zodiac: Aries (Day 13 of 31)

[brookstonalmanac]

Holidays 4.2

Holidays

April Facts Day

Arizona Gives Day (Arizona)

Autism Acceptance Day (Abeldane Empire)

Education and Sharing Day

Elevate Your Sprinkler Day

Flag Day (Azores; Portugal)

Great Lovers Day

Green Day

Hecuba Asteroid Day

International Children's Book Day

International Fact-Checking Day

International Passover Joke Day

International 2x4 Day

International Wedgie Day

Love Your Produce Manager

Malvinas Day (Argentina)

Mint Day

Morel Day (French Republic)

National All Things Detroit Day

National Buy a New Dildo Day

National Cryocooler Day

National Day of Prayer & Fast (Liberia)

National DIY Day

National Elevate Your Sprinkler Day

National Ferret Day

National Handmade Day

National Love Your Produce Manager Day

National Out to Win Day

National Reconciliation Day

National Ride Your Horse to a Bar Day

Odisha Day (India)

Pascua Florida Day (Florida)

Pharmacists in Public Health Day

Preen-tail Day (a.k.a. Tallie Day; Scotland)

Reconciliation Day

Taily Day (Scotland)

Thai Heritage Conservation Day (Thailand)

Velcro Day

Veterans Day (Argentina)

World Autism Awareness Day

Food & Drink Celebrations

National Peanut Butter and Jelly Day

1st Tuesday in April

Garlic Tuesday (in “The Legend of Dick and Dom”) [1st Tuesday]

National Family Caregiver Day (Canada) [1st Tuesday]

National Healthy Schools Day [1st Tuesday]

National Service Recognition Day [1st Tuesday]

Oncology Nursing Day (Canada) [1st Tuesday]

Sexual Assault Awareness Month’s Day of Action [1st Tuesday]

Southland Anniversary Day (New Zealand) [Tuesday after Easter]

Weekly Holidays beginning April 2 (1st Week)

International Dark Sky Week [thru 4.8]

Independence & Related Days

African Federation (Declared; 2001) [unrecognized]

Capi (Declared; 2017) [unrecognized]

Punjab (Annexed by UK; 1849)

Southland Province Day (New Zealand)

Union Day (Russia and Belarus; 1996; Belarus)

Festivals Beginning April 2, 2024

Pan Celtic Festival (Carlow, Ireland) [thru 4.6]

Feast Days

Abundius of Como (Christian; Saint)

Æbbe the Younger (Christian; Saint)

Amphianus of Lycia (Christian; Saint)

Apian of Lycia (Christian; Saint)

Apphiam and Theodosia (Christian; Martyrs)

Bronach of Glen-Seichis (Irish martyrology)

Constantine, King of Scotland (Christian; Saint)

Day to Carry Death Away (Parts of Ancient Germany; Everyday Wicca)

Ebba (a.k.a. Abba; Christian; Saint)

Émile Zola (Writerism)

Existential Angst Day (Pastafarian)

Euclid (Positivist; Saint)

Feast of Acan (Mayan God of Alcohol)

Francis of Paola (Christian; Saint)

Francisco Coll Guitart (Christian; Saint)

Hans Christian Andersen (Writerism)

Henry Budd (Anglican Church of Canada)

James Lloyd Breck (Anglican Church)

Kanamara Matsuri (Festival of the Steel Phallus; Japan)

Macha’s Race Day (Pagan)

Mary of Egypt (Christian; Saint)

Max Ernst (Artology)

Nicetius of Lyon (Christian; Saint)

Night of the Evil Clown (Church of the SubGenius)

Passouter (Church of the SubGenius; Saint)

Pedro Calungsod (Christian; Saint)

Semana Santa (Spain)

Sizdeh Be-dar (Nature Day; Ancient Persia) [13 Days after Vernal Equinox]

Spring Fever Medical Aid Appeal (Shamanism)

Theodosia of Tyre (Christian; Saint)

Urban of Langres (Christian; Saint) [coopers, drunkards, vintners]

Wheel and Trisket Day (Celtic Book of Days)

William Holman Hunt (Artology)

Christian Liturgical Holidays

Easter Tuesday (Australia, Cyprus, Nauru) [Tuesday after Easter]

Lucky & Unlucky Days

Lucky Day (Philippines) [19 of 71]

Lucky Green Day

Sensho (先勝 Japan) [Good luck in the morning, bad luck in the afternoon.]

Premieres

The Ant from Uncle (Ant and the Aardvark Cartoon; 1969)

As the World Turns (TV Soap Opera; 1956)

The Beatles 1962-1966, by The Beatles (Greatest Hits Album; 1973)

The Beatles 1967-1970, by The Beatles (Greatest Hits Album; 1973)

Blue Monday (MGM Cartoon; 1938)

Bosko’s Party (WB LT Cartoon; 1932)

Canyon Bomber (Atari 2600 Video Game; 1979)

Cat People (Film; 1982)

The Crush (Film; 1993)

Dallas (TV Series; 1978)

Der Wald (The Forest), by Ethel Smyth (Opera; 1902)

Doraemon (Anime Series; 1979)

Geri’s Game (Pixar Cartoon; 1997)

Gustav (a.k.a. Gustavus or Gusztáv; Hungarian Cartoon Series; 1966)

Hellboy (Film; 2004)

Home on the Range (Animated Film; 2004)

House Hunting Mice (WB LT Cartoon; 1947)

I Walk the Line, recorded y Johnny Cash (Song; 1956)

The Long Good Friday (Film; 1982)

Mama Said, by Lenny Kravitz (Album; 1991)

Oh! Susanna (Terrytoons Cartoon; 1933)

Popeye’s 20th Anniversary (Fleischer/Famous Popeye Cartoon; 1954)

Private Pluto (Disney Cartoon; 1943)

Ready Steady Goes Live! (UK TV Series; 1965)

Rituel in Memoriam Bruno Maderna, by Pierre Boulez (Orchestral Work; 1975)

Rock and Roll All Nite, by KISS (Song; 1975)

Sandy Claws (WB LT Cartoon; 1955)

The Singing Nun (Film; 1966)

Slink Pink (Pink Panther Cartoon; 1959)

A Star is Hatched (WB MM Cartoon; 1938)

Symphony No. 1 in C, by Ludwig Van Beethoven (Symphony; 1800)

The Twelve Chairs, by Ilya Ilf (Novel; 1928)

2001 A Space Odyssey (Film; 1968)

Wolf! Wolf! (Oswald the Lucky Rabbit Cartoon; 1934)

Today’s Name Days

Franz, Mirjam, Sandra (Austria)

Božidara, Dragoljub, Franjo (Croatia)

Erika (Czech Republic)

Theodosius (Denmark)

Ene, Eneken, Enel, Eneli, Enelin (Estonia)

Pellervo (Finland)

Sandrine (France)

Frank, Franz, Mirjam, Sandra (Germany)

Áron (Hungary)

Emilia, Francesco, Ginevra, Grazia, Graziella, Isotta, Regina, Selene, Selenio (Italy)

Glita, Irmgarde, Zemvaldis (Latvia)

Elona, Jostautas, Jostautė, Pranas, Pranciškus (Lithuania)

Sigvard, Sivert (Norway)

Franciszek, Sądomir, Urban, Władysław, Władysława (Poland)

Tit (Romania)

Svetlana (Russia)

Zita (Slovakia)

Francisco (Spain)

Gudmund, Ingemund (Sweden)

Rad, Radoslav (Ukraine)

Ebba, Eboni, Ebony, Gardenia, Gardner, Garnet, Garnett (USA)

Today is Also…

Day of Year: Day 93 of 2024; 273 days remaining in the year

ISO: Day 2 of week 14 of 2024

Celtic Tree Calendar: Fearn (Alder) [Day 17 of 28]

Chinese: Month 2 (Ding-Mao), Day 24 (Bing-Shen)

Chinese Year of the: Dragon 4722 (until January 29, 2025)

Hebrew: 23 Adair II 5784

Islamic: 23 Ramadan 1445

J Cal: 3 Cyan; Threesday [3 of 30]

Julian: 20 March 2024

Moon: 44%: Waning Crescent

Positivist: 9 Archimedes (4th Month) [Aristæus]

Runic Half Month: Ehwaz (Horse) [Day 8 of 15]

Season: Spring (Day 15 of 92)

Week: 1st Week of April

Zodiac: Aries (Day 13 of 31)