#weaponizing the dog in the divorce

[everykillerbee]

[heterorealism]

Check his dogs teeth. That’s the big one.

[lavernius]

Locus as a metaphor for colorism/racism

Some people were interested in this take so I'm going to go over it really quick. I am brown, a lot of the experiences I talk about here are lived (and a lot of them I experienced from this fandom, ironically enough). Warnings for discussion of racism and colorism + abuse.

Don't be weird, keep it civil! I'm not telling you what to think I'm just giving my two cents as a person who has experienced all of this.

Note: I don't think RT intentionally did any of this because they couldn't even treat their real life employees of color well so I don’t trust them with a character of color LMAO. “Colorism” is specified here because being brown affects every part of life in a way that's difficult to explain if you haven't experienced it firsthand.

Locus experiences very true aspects of real-world racial profiling: he's a big, dark-skinned, reserved brown man who is heavily demonized—both by the narrative/show AND in-universe. The fact that the “scary” merc of the duo is the one who was confirmed brown in 14 is likely colorism on RT's part, yes, but it doesn't change that Locus is painted as an aggressive monster canonically (a common stereotype of brown men, and a cause for code-switching in many POC). He's a monster, a dog, a weapon, a machine—all words that are used to describe him in the show, some he even uses on himself. Obviously not words you should be applying to a brown person good lord!

Locus’s apathy isn't inherently part of him. Maybe he wasn't always kind or gentle, but he was forced into a violent situation and TRIED to stay empathetic, wanting to spare his enemies at times, before he was forced out of the mindset—something that still bothers him to this day, even if he's repressed it! Brown people commonly have mental health issues and trauma that doesn't get addressed because of cultural expectations and medical racism, to the point where a lot of our cultures normalize very unhealthy behaviors. More of a stretch, maybe, but it reads like racial trauma if I ever saw it (and I have). Specifically because:

Felix sees him starting to lose his empathy, which is VERY BAD for Locus’s mental health, and takes advantage of it to use Locus as something of a “guard dog”. Erm, white people benefiting from racism and colorism? White people forcing stigma on brown people to gain power over them? What a surprise!

On the note of Felix: while Santa’s reveal that Felix is afraid of Locus can have several meanings, a lot of them can still lead down a road of (abusive) racism. He's scared of Locus because he's a “merciless killer”, isn't the same person he used to be? Who caused that, I wonder? Scared because if Locus found out he was being manipulated he’d immediately abandon Felix? Yeah, because he's being manipulated and abused, of course he’d leave… if I found out I was being manipulated by a white man I'd be uncomfortable too! Victim blaming is EXTREMELY common with racist white people because there is POWER in being white and blaming the brown man.

I like to see Locus’s divorce from his given name and visage as a symbol of cultural isolation. POC are so frequently made victims of identity crises because we’re expected to conform to a white world, whether we try to be white people or try to be what white people expect us to be. The latter in Locus’s case—they want a violent brown man, they have one. It keeps him alive at the cost of taking his sense of self away. He's safer as Locus, the armor, than he is as Ortez, the person.

There's not like, canonical evidence I can point to, but Locus feels like a catch-22 of “I want to be angry that people see me as a monster for being brown, but if I’m angry they’ll see me as a monster because I am brown”. It's a cycle that's hard to escape because when you ARE a righteous brown person who wants to be angry because the world has hurt you, it's so easy to paint you as an animal.

Um the fandom is extremely racist to him in ways I don't think they're even aware of. He's got it all! Fandom whitewashing and stereotyping and sexualizing and demonizing, people shipping him with a white person who hurt him (because a brown person cannot be hurt by a white person without SOMEONE wanting to forgive the white perpetrator for it LMFAO, many such cases where it’s done for the sake of shipping too), performative diversity and a lack of actual depth in his culture bar the fact that he speaks Spanish and has a Hispanic name…I don’t even think the guy who MADE him gives a shit that he’s brown (past it giving him brownie points) and how it affects him. Yeah who’s surprised. (EDIT: did not know Miles was mixed, but POC are still capable of colorism, etc. I still think Miles, as a lighter skinned person, doesn't fully comprehend how Locus being dark plays into the dynamic/Locus's character as a whole. Still, entirely my mistake.)

So basically: brown guy gets dehumanized, white guy takes advantage of it, systemic colorism and stigma helps white guy get away with it, brown guy is alienated from himself as a result and thinks he genuinely is a monster because everyone treats him like one. I see myself in him as a brown person who has experienced colorism for having low empathy and not connecting with society. It's awesome.

He is a textbook traumatized brown guy. He's got internalized racism/colorism. He's going to meet other brown people and unlearn it. He’s going to connect with his culture again. He’s going to realize he never owed the white man power over him just because he was convenient to control. He's going to be okay!

No thanks to RT because they couldn’t write a good brown guy if they tried + it falls on us brown people to give coincidences this kind of personal meaning. LOL

Next week (not really) I get into how Lopez is an incredible accidental portrayal of alienated brown people who have pride in themselves and want justice for being mistreated all the time.

[thebearme]

Got any re8 Heisenberg headcanons? (I definitely am so normal about him)

Don't worry, I'm completely normal about him too.

Ethan works with Karl to stop Miranda, but they aren't exactly friends after that, but they learn to like each other.

Chris was originally was going to put Karl into the military as a living bioweapon, but with enough convincing. Ethan got him to just let stay with him and Rose. They're roommates now.

Karl is thankful for Ethan to help him avoid that fate, but he is still frustrated on how his life is in someone's hand. Now he has to listen to Ethan or run the risk of being killed or weaponized. So the anger is the living arrangement is mutual.

Karl tends to be untrusting of everyone, like a feral stray dog. So Karl stays in the basement and minds his business.

Ethan and Mia had a mutual divorce, The relationship was built on rocky ground, and they understand that. But what Mia doesn't understand is why Ethan would have this moldy hobo live with him, and frankly- he doesn't know either.

Karl was a stinky man. His hands are rough and dry, chipped sharp nails that seem to always have something underneath them despite that fact of him wearing gloves most of the time. He covered in a layer of grease, sweat and car oil, smells like copper, gasoline, sweat, cigars, rain dew and a hint of mold and rot. LOVEY ISN'T IT! A sensory overload dream. His hair WILL make a crunchy noise if touched, and don't bother trying to comb through it.

Ethan made sure that his mf got a shower with some actual soap. He may look the same but trust in the fact if you were in a room with him, you'll actually be able to hug him without getting high from the gasoline.

Karl's hair gets so fluffy when conditioned.

It took months before Ethan trusted Karl in watching Rose or let alone hold her.

Karl LOVES sweets.

He originally didn't know about Home Depot because Ethan was worry that there will quickly be no Home Depot.

There's no longer a Home Depot.

Heisenberg will melt when he hears Rose's first words.

The day that Heisenberg finds out what a Samsung fridge is- IT'S OVER!

Heisenberg lived off of military ration meals till now, so he has to resort to the next best thing here: hungry man TV dinners. And kid cuisine when Rose goes into solid food.

HE CAN COOK! To be particular, grill. But he's kinda going through that depression that led you to not take care of himself.

Karl HATES the rain, It rusts all his metal, and he is in content risk of getting struck by lightning, He's a living lightning rod. Ethan tries to be nice and help him by giving him a rubber rain suit, leading him to wear three layers of protection: fishing overalls, rain boots, raincoat, rubber gloves, rain hat and a rubber poncho.

You can hear him from a mile away with all that rubber squeaking.

Heisenberg surprisingly was a virgin for a long time, and it makes sense. He was too busy in his factory to be with anyone romantically nor platonically, let alone get laid. He never really cared till he thought about it now, especially when Ethan has living proof that he fucked. *CUT TO FUNNY KARL SPEED DATING SEQUENCE* this is probably a very sharp contrast to others hc of karl but idc it's my hc

Heisenberg and Ethan have that opposite attract dynamic, Karl gets to teach him that life doesn't end or need to be tense just because they're mole zombies. While Ethan teaches Karl to unpack his years trauma, cuz that shit will come to haunt you.

Ethan found some room for Heisenberg to sleep upstairs instead.

Eventually Ethan gets so close with Heisenberg he actually starts calling him by his first name.

That was noticed by Mia and Chris, which made them nervous in where Ethan loyalty would lie when something were to happen.

Heisenberg never had clean water before, so just imagine him with the crisp 3am water.

Chris only allows Karl to experience the outside monthly. But Ethan sneaks Karl with him when he can. As long, he doesn't scare anyone in town.

Karl is like a caveman entering the present day, He's culture shock is out of this world.

He loves the phrase "metal as fuck."

When Karl has a nightmare he rearrange his room to push all the metal out or nap in the living room. When Karl and Ethan got closer he started sleeping in Ethan's room. Even though their hearts beat slow, the human warmth is still there.

Karl never wants to talk about what his nightmare was about or why he feels better sleeping in a room with less metal.

Here some songs that I always relate to Heisenberg:

Now I'm about to go into what my hc is for Heisenberg before re8.

tw body horror and child abuse

I have the headcanon that Karl wasn't from the village, but his family was. He was born in the states and unknowingly has the genes that make him very susceptible to the mold mutation. Eventually, after his grandfather died and passed the factory/mines to his parents, they all moved to Europe. Explaining the contrasting transatlantic accent.

But like all things, Miranda had to ruin. She noticed the newcomers of the village; she saw how they also have a child and decided to take action. Miranda killed Karl Heisenberg's parents and took him in to experiment on with the cadou parasite.

His gift was unknown till one check up later after all of his complaints of feeling of something tearing into him. Miranda realized that there seems to be scraps of metal like nuts and bolts dug and tear through into his body to his bones like a magnet.

When he's in is REM sleep, his electromagnet powers moves and attract scraps of metal to him. Leaving him to wake up with blood on his sheets, but the wound already healed like nothing happened. But Karl does know it feels harder to move every day.

Miranda made sure to test him on his gift. He looks completely human and is powerful, he was almost perfect… The one single flaw in him is the fact that even as a helpless child that had no one else to rely on but her. He still hated her.

Heisenberg was the youngest of the four lords and the favorite, and he hated it. Dude would just spend all his time by himself, leaving himself tape recorders. He eventually started to entertain himself as if he was a radio host. The theater kid possesses him.

Eventually when he got older he got into contact with The Duke and was able to purchase tapes and machinery scraps from him. The tapes turned out to be American documents of ww2, leading Heisenberg to his American freedom fighter rhetoric.

When he detransform from his big monster form, he has to go get a lil help. He has to get rid of the pieces of metal without just tearing off pieces of his flesh, That shit is hard to grow back you know!

[fitzs-space]

I want to talk about all the details I put into the Ties comic cause I worked on that thing for like a week and my brain likes to think about many things

Anyway, pspspsps I'm info dumping about my own designs gather round.

Notes for the character designs themselves

-The colours show if they are Red/Yellow/Green are different per character. Tango with bright colours, Skizz's are cool and dark, Impulses are more yellow, and Ethos are more desaturated. -Not all characters in the Life Games will get colour indicators in their eyes, the fact 3/4 of the designs here have it is unimportant shut -Impulse has a heart knot in his tie!! Look at it!! -Impulse cannot tie a tie. Tango does it for him. -Tango having his tie undone is his own choice -The choice of them having/not having pupils is intentional. -Etho only has the one on one side, maybe its cause the red eyes a little fucky in the vision, who knows though -Impulse has i's in the eyes -Skizz just straight up doesn't have em, but I normally don't draw pupils with that iris shape anyway. something something normally only draw that iris style with certain magical characters -I just stopped drawing with Tango with iris' at some point, idk -Skizz is designed as a fallen angel. that's why the halo's are all separated/broken, and why you can see darker feathers growing -maybe Impulse used to help him dye them white cause of some insecurity, maybe not -the lower his lives go, the less dark feathers are seen in his wings. like a cruel joke the watchers get a kick out of

-mullet Skizz MULLET SKIZZ!!!!!

-Etho is a sentimental mf /pos. they will keep and make a lot of patches for memory's and stuff. notable patches are, The NHO patch, a creeper cause of general Spazz, Canada flag cause Canadian /j, I normally add rainbow ones for the button saga of s7 but forgot to this time. -the rings are from all their divorces /J -the colours on the rings correlate to their owners (Bdubs, Cleo, Joel) lives. ie will be red if one of them is red kinda thing.

think that's the most of the design thoughts, now the Details in the comic itself,,,

-Skizz is the kinda mf who would fiddle//stim with random things in his hands. Many times its other peoples hands -dude will just hold peoples hands randomly when talking to them, team Ties just got used to it -That's why Etho took so long to notice the bracelet!

-their ass isn't phased by this kinda stuff anymore /hj -Skizz just enjoys contact man let me be -Throughout most of the comic Skizz has some sort of contact with Etho

-Tango and impulse also end up giving Etho bracelets as well -All the bracelets Etho gets share their colour indicator + the colour form the person who made it!

-you can see the colours slowly shift when Skizz ties on the bracelet, something something the magic of the world does some shit sometimes man.

-Skizz taught Impulse how to make the bracelets, so they have similar styles, Skizz's is more of a simple braid style though. -Tango went for something that took longer to do. it is a little scuffed /pos

-Ethos been getting their ass handed to them the episode before this, had to rightfully reflect that. you know? /j -the Slashes across their chest where form when Gem/Cleo killed them twice in that one episode. -The bite was originally supposed to be cause of Scars dogs. But someone in a reply made a joke about it, and frankly I think it'd be funnier if it was cause of Joel or some shit like they said.

-Had the axe as more of a battle-axe style. It was something Impulse made for Skizz (I forget who actually made it//Didn't want to go back to check) -I like showing characters having specific styles/ways they make armor and tools. -It's fun to show characters with tools and armor that can be distinctly seen as being made by another player

-That being an axe Impulse made adds more weight to the narrative of this moment and I want people to cry -something something for Etho its a moment of taking a weapon that Impulse made to protect Skizz, and using that as the tool that finally kills him -For Skizz this is a moment of his trust and care for his teammates. Being surrounded by people that he cares about and tokens that show their love for each other.

-Suffer, I could have been angstyier, and I will be actualy.

-Skizz is the one putting the axe to his own neck in this moment. Etho is putting as little force into it as they can. -Red king parallels who- -Etho also gets cut by the axe, something about sacrifice and how no life/time can truly be free in these life games -The blood wasn't actually intended to be golden ichor, I was just lazy and didn't want to draw red blood// wanted to have the cool lighting effect -Etho has the same colour in their blood too so, take it as you will

-I've had this comic planed since EPICODE ONE. had full intentions for it to go angsty in the end, and dam if the narrative didn't play right into my grubby little hands.

-I also just love how well I could parallel the moments in this comic. the comparison of the pages where both their faces are visible? the Joy in ethos face turning to complete anguish? the fact Skizz never stopped smiling? the way both moments start with an outstretched hand, and end with Skizz still holding onto Etho in a moment of trust? beautiful

-all the pages in the second part of the comic were framed specifically so I could avoid drawing Skizz ass.

[squeakadeeks]

I wanted to compile a super post for all the worthwhile stitch in the ditch OCverse art so when needed i can reference it all in one go haha.

to establish the background context:

Stitch in the ditch is a fantasy OCverse that takes place in a patchwork quilt world that's falling apart and characters are working to either repair it, scrap it, or actively make it worse lol. The realm is comprised of micro-biomes confined within their respective quilt patches in the fabric of reality but it overall has a taiga/cold northern forest feel. Within the fabric world there are people known as stitch witches who can see, manipulate, and craft with the fundamental threads that compose the quilt world to cast fiber-based magic. a stitch witch known only as Brother is known historically as the greatest switch witch of all time.

about the characters:

Pupet is the MC and is a living doll made by Singer. he is made from the living threads of reality and is able to directly intermesh with the world fibers, letting him directly repair tears and damage to the quilt. He has a loving, curious, responsibility-minded personality. His body is constantly falling apart because he is made of fabric and has to be pushed to the limit to accomplish the herculean task of saving the quilt world. He uses a large needle and the red thread of fate as his weapons!

Singer is Pupet's mom and the most famous stitch witch of her time until she gave up her magic to create Pupet. She has a big, bold personality and loved being the top dog of the magic world. She has a strong sense of duty and believes in noble sacrifices to a fault. Although she has complicated feelings about Pupet (hes why she lost her prized magic and he is created in the image of her late son) she loves him dearly.

Altan is pupet and singer's travel companion + pupet's partner. Hes a worldly outdoorsman who knows the lay of the quilted land and is deft with a rifle to dispatch monsters known as the Oose, beings created from the lint of the unraveling seams. Hes extremely sociable and personable, he gets along with Pupet perfectly but clashes heads with Singer constantly.

Husqvarna is Singer's ex-wife and instead of following her plan of repairing the world, Husqvarna wants to collect and tidy the scraps of the patchwork world and only salvage the most intact portions to be repurposed into a new, unknown, smaller world. (her plan is akin to cutting apart an old shirt to be used as something else as opposed to constantly fixing it). She believes strongly in herself and her ideals and has a strong sense of objective justice. She employs stitch and seam as her henchmen, still squabbles with singer post divorce (they still love each other but its complicated) and feels angry that Singer used their son's visage and memory to create Pupet, who she first sees as a cruel, stupid play on singers part (she recreated their son who died of illness in a body that will also fail quickly for the sake of a plan that she thinks is foolish)

Seam is a ball jointed doll who was created by Brother many years ago to be one of his perfect companions. She absolutely detests Brother now, seeing him as a pig-headed, immature, narcissistic, explosive nightmare. She has a deep sense of loyalty and is desperate for someone to have a happy, close bond with. She finds this in Husqvarna, as the two have a mother/daughter bond, as well as her brother Stitch, and Pupet (who she also sees as a brother). She can be fickle and lackadaisical, loves cute things, looking pretty, and taking care of others. She has a giant seam ripper to pick out patches cleanly for Husqvarna.

Stitch is the other doll created by Brother, but he has a less black and white view of him. He had admired Brother and enjoyed feeling special as one of his creations but came in time to realize how dangerous he was and ultamately sided with Seam when she chose to leave. He was still conflicted about Brother until he damaged him for the first time in his life by breaking off his arms. (both stitch and seam are akin to demi-gods when it comes to physical harm, they didnt even know they could be hurt until then). Hes currently terrified of Brother. Hes not as close to Husqvarna as Seam is, but still views her more as family than as a boss. He also likes Pupet and sees him as family too. Stitch is kind of a weird, awkward guy who marches to the beat of his own drum and is probably one of the only characters in the story who is fine to be left to his own company. Hes got a huge pair of scissors for his weapon.

Brother, also known by his actual name Rulon, is the primary antagonist. He's the one that instigated the rips in the patchwork world to make his own personal kingdom, and commands the oose, which are monstrous balls of lint and loose thread created by the fraying edges. He's lived for hundreds of years and is loosely based on rasputin. He believes himself to be a living god and the most powerful, objectively perfect thing in existence. which is unfortunate bc hes kind of right, but he insists that because of his talent and ability he should be the king of all things which is where things get messy. he is also incredibly manic, impulsive, immature, reactive, delusional, narcissistic, and controlling. unbelievably its not in bad faith, he does genuinely want to do good and help people/the world, but he cant wrap his head around the fact that he might not always be right. He loves Stitch and Seam as what he believes are his only two equals and is deeply hurt and confused that they dont love him back the same way, he thinks singer and Husqvarna are foolish and wildly out of their depth, and thinks pupet is a shoddy slight of the act of creating living dolls, since his body is constantly falling apart and he will die soon. he thinks its cruel that singer created him at all.

[the-everqueen]

wip tag game

tagged by @two-hands-toward-the-sun. i have...more wips than i remember at any given time, and i just peck at whichever one when the spirit moves me (usually when i'm procrastinating actual work). currently there's eight active in the rotation, with another handful that are more conceptual/bits and pieces i want to come back to later.

Sandman

Lucienne takes the Corinthian for walkies: this is in response to a Valentines day prompt @two-hands-toward-the-sun sent me, "going on a platonic date and being mistaken for a couple." Dream weaponized his sad wet eyes at Luce to make her take some PTO and also provide some enrichment for his recreated masterpiece. they go to the MOMAT

As though attuned to her thoughts, the Corinthian hangs back at a respectable distance—not out of sight, but perhaps out of mind, if she wished. When Lucienne frowns at him, trying to discern whether this is some kind of trick, he makes a show of fiddling with the audio guide, head turned away as he hooks the piece over his ear.

does your husband know the way the sunlight gleams on your wedding ring: Corinthian/Calliope fic in the period between Orpheus and Calliope & Dream's divorce. once again, a woman takes Coco out for her idea of a good time and proves literally anyone else would be a better owner for the Corinthian than Dream.

He means to retreat. He doesn’t think she’s noticed him, and he wouldn’t impose on her privacy. Calliope was always nice to him. But grief smells like weakness, and a Muse’s grief smells different from that of the humans he stalks in dreams, wearing the faces of their long-departed. His mouths water at the scent, unfamiliar but delectable. For a fleeting moment, he wonders what her eyes might taste like, what he’d see if he took them in his own.

gay coworkers: words are HAPPENING in the next installment!

“Technically—" “C’mon, a memory wipe is hardly better—" “I’m not defending his actions, I’m simply pointing out—" “Stop talking about me like I’m not here,” the Corinthian snaps. Matthew and Lucienne exchange guilty glances. “You could at least wait until you’re back at the palace. Doing it in my house, that’s just fucking rude.”

la guard dog literal: Morpheus recreated the Corinthian as a (sort of, semi-eldritch) dog because surely that will fix his behavioral issues. Daniel still rehomes him with Rose Walker.

Jed twists around in his seat. The Corinthian snuffles obligingly at the hand he offers, gives the fingertips a quick swipe with his tongue. Jed’s face splits into a smile. That smile makes something warm unfurl in the Corinthian’s belly, prompts him to worm closer with a thready whimper. No threat. Which is maybe the biggest lie he’s ever told and he didn’t even speak it in human words, but in the moment he desperately wants Jed to believe it, and not just so he can sink his teeth into that vulnerable neck still soft with baby fat.

what if we made those daddy issues literal: semi-period accurate 1920s fic where the Corinthian is Dream's troublesome ward and Matthew is the tutor Dream hires to bring him in line. is this because i'm obsessed with Assad Zaman's outfits in hotel portofino? yes.

“Dream’s not my father.” “I thought—" “He’s my guardian. Keeper. Master. Whatever.” “He—" “Of course he’s benevolent. Can afford to be, I suppose. So long as I perform well.” “Does he—?” “Not how you’re thinking.” Cori barks a short, humorless laugh. “That wouldn’t be conducive to his long-term plans, would it? Breaking his toy before it can be of any real use.” “That’s—" “Good? Yeah. Sure.” Something shutters in his expression. “After all, what would become of this poor orphan child without some generous benefactor to mold him into a productive member of society? Why, then he might just be a scoundrel or, worse—an inconvenient corpse rotting in the road.” “I—" “Well. No use speculating, right?” He flashes a grin that makes Matt think of a dog baring its teeth. “I’ll see you after lunch.” Matt, dumbfounded, watches him walk away.

Logan/X-men

rehome that animal: sequel to the dog crate fic

Mendez isn’t sure what he expected to find in the Wolverine’s hideout. It certainly wasn’t this. This being his former boss, presumed dead after A-T’s last (as in latest, as in final) attempt to retcon its X-23 project several months ago. Mendez didn’t recognize him at first, but he thinks he’d be forgiven for the slight: the Donald Pierce before him looks a lot different from the Reaver commander who’d swanned around in a leather duster and tinted sunglasses, barking orders. Now he’s mostly naked and washed-out looking like maybe he hasn’t seen much sun. His once carefully groomed beard has been shaved to expose sharp cheekbones and a delicate chin. All his muscle and fat is gone, so the jut of his ribs and spine and pelvis show with every small twitch. There’s a lot of twitching, like his body can’t decide whether to prepare for fight or flight.

horse is a one-trick pony and the trick is Werewolves: if you didn't foresee me turning the Reavers into a (literal) wolf pack...well, that's on you at this point.

The pack leader is keeping an eye on him. Not quite staring: casual flickers of his attention between Donald and whatever is happening on the laptop. Mendez’s eyes shine almost green in the bluish screen light. His face looks sharper. His lip twitches and shows the barest glimpse of fang.

...tagging @evenmyhivemindisempty, @cosmictapestry, @aisalynn, @crimeronan, and @stellerssong. no pressure, i just like seeing what people are working on.

[phoenixyfriend]

We keep discussing fem!Sanji in the groupchat, courtesy of @professorsparklepants, and so I presented her with this concept:

Context: AU, possibly modern, where Sanji is technically still in contact with the Vinsmokes but moved out with mom when she divorced and then remarried to Zeff and only sees the paternal side of the family for like. Weddings and the occasional new year's eve

(This could, in theory, be a fem!Sanji AU. Could even be a Zoro/fem!Sanji. But it could also just be regular Sanji and Insert Random Crew member. I err on the side of Zoro or Nami, or both.)

But this is the conversation that needs to happen, with the 'reasonable' requester being Sanji:

(Tiktoks still can't be successfully embedded in tumblr posts but this is the source, and this is the tumblr post I originally saw it on.)

Obvious thought is Zoro because of the sword, but it could easily be Nami with the end bit.*

And as Prof herself responded:

Nami AND Zoro. Sanji has two hands and now no longer has to sit next to any family members. The swag of showing up to your divorced father's house with your bisexual fake polycule. Sanji, watching the music video for Rina Sawayama's This Hell: I could do that

Nami shows up with a slutty outfit and outrageous stories, Zoro shows up with weapons he has to check at the door and a ludicrously high alcohol tolerance.

They both have ludicrously high tolerances, but Zoro's the one that collects empty bottles at his seat to cause drama.

I think Nami has to hit on some of Sanji's brothers. Zoro should also hit on some of Sanji's brothers. Possibly their dad. Just to fuck with them a bit more.

Nami takes turns sitting on Zoro and Sanji's laps and being all giggly, pretending to be just a little tipsier than she actually is, just to see the offense at being Improper, and also the Jealousy from everyone who Wants Her, but instead she's with The Disappointment and the guy that said disappointmend must have found under a bridge or in prison or something.

* Unfortunately, the rest are out for various reasons: Luffy and Brook and Franky can't be purposeful enough, Usopp and Chopper would have difficulty with being intimidated by the Vinsmokes, and Jinbei is not meant for this purpose. I Loev Robin but she's the wrong call for this one: not as Fabulous about it as Nami, not as rude as Zoro. A bit less "let me tell you about this time I stole a guy's dog" and a bit more "let me tell you about this dead body I found." She's more likely to scare people than piss them off, and in this scenario, Sanji wants them pissed off.

[dreamsontheirway]

Cynophobia | S.R.

Summary: the reader has cynophobia, the fear of dogs, and spencer is there for her. Warnings: fears? Word Count: 0.9k

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"What's your biggest fear?"

You recalled asking Spencer the question several months ago, while the two of you were curled up on his couch. The two of you had enjoyed a typical weekday night; the dishes from dinner were running in the dishwasher and the show you were binging played softly in the background.

Spencer hummed, brows furrowed as he considered your question.

"I know it sounds silly, but probably losing something or someone I love," he said, a small smile playing at his lips. "I guess my biggest fear is losing you."

You smiled at him, and rubbed your hand along the stubble on his jawline. You reached up and placed a soft kiss where your hand had been.

"You're so cheesy."

"What's yours?" Spencer asked, peering down at you through hooded eyelids, his long lashes on display.

"You'll laugh at me."

Spencer's brow furrowed, his mouth opening before lifting up slightly.

"I won't laugh at you."

"I'm afraid of dogs," you admitted, shying away from him in embarrassment.

"I had to get stitches as a kid because I got bit by our neighbor's rottweiler. Ever since then," you trailed off, shivering at the memory.

Spencer's brow furrowed at the idea, and he rubbed your goosebump-covered arms.

"Cynophobia," Spencer stated, and despite your reddening cheeks, he only looked at you with adoration.

-----

It was an average, summer day in Virginia, and the team had just been assigned a case. It was a hostage situation; the unsub had several people trapped inside of a bank. Fortunately, his only weapon was a knife. In theory, it should be easier to get him into custody without the possession of an automatic weapon.

You, along with Spencer and Emily, were driving in one of the BAU's black vans. Spencer drove, with you in the passenger's seat, and Emily in the back reading through the case files.

"His name is Edward Fisher," Emily stated, her eyes skimming the paper. "He's twenty-seven, no priors, but it looks like he was recently divorced."

"I'm sure that's the stressor," Spencer offered, his eyes squinting as he drove.

Upon your arrival at the bank, you were met by the rest of the team standing alongside some local officers. You and the others were beginning to craft your plan of action, when another van pulled up.

Another group of local police exited the van, and what followed them shook you significantly. Three large dogs exited the van with the K-9 officers, two German Shepherds and, much to your dismay, a large rottweiler.

You would have been able to compose yourself if it wasn't for the fact that one of the dogs got loose and began running towards the team. Of course, the dog was trained, so it merely sniffed around on the ground, but you immediately backed up in fear.

You backed up straight into the strong chest of your boyfriend. Your eyes were wide, frantic, and your breathing began to pick up rapidly. You felt hands grip your shoulders - Spencer - as he pushed you behind him.

As observant as he was, Spencer had immediately noticed the dog that was set loose. He remembered your fear despite talking about it months ago and protectively stepped in front of you, hollering towards the officers, who were approaching in order to retrieve their dog.

"Hey! I thought these dogs were supposed to be trained, keep a hold on them, would you?!"

The officer nearest to you mumbled an apology, giving Spencer an odd look, and pulled the dog back towards their group of K-9 officers. You let out a large breath that you hadn't realized you were holding, and relaxed against Spencer.

He turned to you then, his eyes wide in concern and anger.

"Are you okay?" He asked you, and his thumb wiped under your eyes. No tears had actually fallen, but Spencer noticed the wetness that began to pool, both from fear and relief.

"Yes, thank you," you spoke and let out another shaky breath.

"You're really scared of dogs, pretty girl?" Morgan chimed in, smirking at you.

You could feel the arms that were wrapped around you tense.

"Morgan," Spencer gave him a stern glare, warning him not to continue with his jokes. Derek's hands went up in joking surrender, despite Spencer's seriousness.

"Y/L/N, go back to the van. Reid, you go with her. Catch your breath," Hotch ordered, and nodded towards the vehicle near you.

Spencer wrapped his arm around your shoulders and guided you to lean against the door of the van. He leaned next to you, wrapping his hand in yours.

"So you remembered," you started, a hint of embarrassment in your tone.

"Of course I did," Spencer joked, hinting towards his eidetic memory. "Don't be embarrassed, love."

"I can't help it! I'm an adult woman who just cried at the sight of a dog."

Spencer's face appeared in front of you then, his brown eyes trained on yours. He leaned his forehead against yours and planted a sweet kiss on the tip of your nose.

"It's okay to have fears," he cooed, and leaned in to place a chaste kiss on your lips, which were pouting.

"The whole team saw that, Spence. It was mortifying."

"If they say anything about it, they'll have to deal with me."

You smirked at him, admiring your tall, lanky boyfriend. You knew he couldn't hurt a fly, unless he absolutely had to, which made his statement all the more amusing.

"Don't give me that look, I'm serious," Spencer gawked at you, incredulous.

"Sure, sure,” you waved your hand at him, giggling. You gave him a peck on the lips before continuing.

“Whatever you say.”

-----

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[gmanwhore]

I want to hear your random headcanons of every nightmare resident

Because I just love nightmare mode

Ok ok I'm gonna go through. And give them their role in the hierarchy, their alignment (Death, War, Pestilence, Famine), and a random headcanon. I have more headcanons for certain characters but :3 Also alignment is just. Which Horseman they align with and which values they follow related to each idea. Yeah. If you want I can go into more detail but yeah.

Also also. The hierarchy goes Horseman -> Consort -> Ritual Performers (including the guy who provides sacrifices) -> Common Nightmare

Also another general headcanon! All romantic/familial relationships are the same :3

Xesbet:

Role: Common Nightmare

Alignment: War/Famine

Random headcanon: Xesbet is actually a lot like his human counterpart, a fairly chill guy who just wants to do his job. He just has a resting smile now instead of a resting frown.

Drugia:

Role: Common Nightmare

Alignment: Pestilence

Headcanon: Drugia can actually like. Make arms for the hands on her head. Also she's almost entirely blind, despite the number of eyes she has.

Exael:

Role: Common Nightmare

Alignment: War

Headcanon: He is incredibly methodical with his torture, and is very professional about everything. He's genuinely not into this, guys.

Barbatos:

Role: Ritual Performer

Alignment: Death/War

Headcanon: He strikes such fear into mortals he can simply open a sack and tell someone to get in. And they will just do that. Also, like his brother he is not a bad guy he's just chill.

Abducius:

Role: Common Nightmare (used to be a Ritual Performer)

Alignment: War/Death

Headcanon: He does get off of torturing people.

Lilith:

Role: Ritual Performer

Alignment: Famine/Pestilence

Headcanon: I don't CARE she is Nightmare Selenne to ME. Also she provides potions for rituals and is basically in charge of outside supplies. Also also she's dating both Famine and Pestilence so like.

Anazareth:

Role: Ritual Performer

Alignment: Famine

Headcanon: She is the man reason they have like. Half their Common Nightmares. Specifically Barbatos, Exael, Izanami, Abducius, and Nyogtha. She also just kind of does that when she gets pissed off.

Chaugnar:

Role: Ritual Performer

Alignment: Famine/Death

Headcanon: He is a perfectionist. He's not rude but he will passive agressively rearrange whatever was done wrong and be like "oh no it's fine don't mind me"

Nyogtha:

Role: Common Nightmare

Alignment: Death

Headcanon: She is worms baybayyyyyyyyyy like she is just a bundle of sentient worms. She's just piloting a rotting flesh mech.

Zoth:

Role: Ritual Performer

Alignment: Famine/Death

Headcanon: He is out preparing their ritual grounds almost constantly because plants grow very fast, but he doesn't mind and he enjoys his job.

Shub:

Role: Horseman of Famine

Alignment: Famine

Headcanon: Her symbols are snakes, dogs, and apples. Her season is Summer, and her festival is a huge feast! Her weapons are a Bear trap, and a morning star. She also has a garden for herself and spends a lot of time there. She's also one of the two Horsemen who are also technically elder gods because she is OLD and has never passed her title on.

Yog:

Role: Common Nightmare (former Consort)

Alignment: Famine/Pestilence

Headcanon: He genuinely doesn't care about anyone. He's always on the damn tome. He goes out very rarely.

Quachil:

Role: Consort

Alignment: Pestilence

Headcanon: PUT THIS GIRL BACK WITH HER MOM NOOWWWWWWWW she is a mama's girl she has to live with her dad because Yan Luo was salty at Ishtar for getting divorced. Quachil acts like she doesn't care but she HATES it here. She was also cast out of Heaven as a baby.

Yan Luo:

Role: Princess/Horseman of Death

Alignment: Death

Headcanon: She is from a long lineage, but she's the first woman like. Ever. Her symbols are dragons and skulls, her season is winter, and her weapon is a scythe (she can't use it). She is also the youngest of the Horsemen, and the least experienced. Her thing is a week long funeral, and during the winter she slips into a depression for. The whole season.

Orcus:

Role: Consort

Alignment: Death

Headcanon: He likes his wife :D

Ishtar:

Role: Horseman of Pestilence

Alignment: Pestilence

Headcanon: Ishtar's symbols are rats and locusts. Her season is Spring, and her weapon is a sword that she can grow vines up to STAB people. Her festival is. I shan't say. She is as old as Shub. Yeah ok she's a fertility goddess and is the only one who's festival doesn't include a sacrifice. She's also the kind of lady who will see a child and ask "is anyone gonna adopt this" and not wait for an answer.

Teutates:

Role: Horseman of War

Alignment: War

Headcanon: Teutates' season is Fall, and his symbols are horses and wolves. His formal weapon is a cudgel, but when he's just out and about he uses a baseball bat covered in barbed wire. His thing is a giant tournament where humans have to fight each other, than Teutates kills the winner. He is the only person who is chill with dopplegangers apparently, he likes keeping them as pets.

Ah Puch:

Role: Common Nightmare (formerly Horseman of War)

Alignment: War

Headcanon: He really needs a break, that's why he retired. He's mostly just annoying now.

Dagda:

Role: Common Nightmare

Alignment: Death

Headcanon: Dagda was sewn together by Yan Luo, and Xesbet put a soul in him. He sees Yan Luo as a mother but she doesn't like him. He is literally just a silly idk what to say.

Izanami:

Role: Common Nightmare

Alignment: War/Pestilence

Headcanon: You would think she's like. Quiet and sneaky but her ass is NOT she's very agressive and quick to anger.

[bellatheinkdemon]

Stuff from the first episode of The Last Cookie Standing I found neat

Tea Knight's hair is tied up with a tea bag. I mean, it's obvious why it's a tea bag, but still.

He is such a dog dad

Licorice looks so weird without his weapon

The Last Cookie Standing shows us some new sprites like this one. I wonder if they're ever gonna be public

Espresseleine divorce arc real

(Also this reminds me of a song, but I can't remember its name. Childish war or something? Idk.)

"*Disclaimer* This production does not support Dark Enchantress Cookie."

If you don't support it, then why do you have not one, not two, but THREE MEMBERS OF COD ON THIS SHOW?! (Four if we're counting Strawberry Crepe. I'm still confused if they're still a member or not.)

Welp, Chiffon is definitely dead. Though out of all the members of CoD, Poison Mushroom is probably the safest option for pet-sitting.

[hazardtoons]

Did a bit of a poster for the upcoming tournament over at @tf2shipswag ! I hope she gets in and I hope she gets far.

The Therapist’s job is to provide help and therapy to the mercs to help them work healthy. However, she can be vicious and merciless, using the sensitive information she’s given as a weapon. Perhaps she doesn’t have their best interests in mind…?

She is also…

Trans gender

divorced (in canon!)

failgirl

mean as fuck

fucked scout’s ma while also giving him therapy about it

pretended to be religious to hit on the priest in a confession booth and it worked

Muscular

disabled (shes blind)

owns a cute dog

If that helps?

[thesilliestrovingalive]

Updated: November 11, 2024

Reworked Character #7: Ralf Jones

POTENTIAL TRIGGER WARNING: Viewer discretion is advised due to references to divorce, death, and crime.

Real name: Rafael Paul Jonesbury

Esper title: Avatar of Flaming, Renewal, Controlling Quietus, and Physical Destruction

Aliases: One-Man Army and Marauding Lupine Carnivore

Occupation: Colonel of the Ikari Warriors

Retirement plans: To open his own fighting tournament and experience all thrill-seeking activities that society has to offer

Special skills: Driving military vehicles, close quarters combat, orchestrating stress relief programs, proficiency in all weapons, and training recruits

Esper abilities: His go-to esper ability is the Vulcan Punch, a rapid-fire series of punches capable of obliterating everything from humans, riot shields, bulletproof armour and glass, cars, all known Slugs, small to medium-sized tanks, and smaller helicopters. His second go-to esper ability is the Galactica Phantom, which he activates by leaning back, rearing his arm, and then flinging himself forward to unleash an incredibly powerful and explosive haymaker.

Despite his belly being constantly bloody and inflamed, he experiences surprisingly little pain due to his exceptional pain suppression, increased blood vessel density, resistance to extreme temperatures, and rapidly regenerating organs. This unique combination, coupled with a secondary esophagus lined with razor-sharp, spiky hairs, enables Ralf to harness the inflammation and blood to vomit a controlled stream of scorching, burning red liquid that incinerates his enemies. The sole drawback of his perpetually bloody and inflamed belly is impaired digestion, leading to difficulties in processing food, which in turn causes persistent vomiting and diarrhea.

The skin on his torso, arms, and legs can harden into diamond-hard scales, providing impenetrable protection against bullets, blades, small bombs, and weaker cannon blasts. He can move at incredible velocities, effectively achieving infinite speed, allowing him to move indefinitely while time appears to stand still around him. Ralf can manifest up to twenty invisible arms composed of solidified telekinetic energy, which can be utilised to move around easily as well as bludgeon and slice through people and objects with precision. These arms appear to be malnourished and exhibit constant, erratic movements, reaching up to 20' 5" (622.5 cm) in length. He possesses the hearing and smell of a dog as well as the ability to manipulate red and orange flames. He can also induce explosive blasts with his punches or a mere touch of any of his fingers.

He has the ability to split his arms into six parts, exposing his coppery muscles and a gaping, organic muzzle that fires ten tentacles with sea lamprey-like mouths. These tentacles can insert themselves into the spine or brain of deceased enemies, injecting a tar-like orangish-black substance to reanimate them. In the process, they augment their physical strength and render them obedient to Ralf's commands. Whenever Ralf is killed, his body rapidly transforms into a cocoon adorned with serrated shell plates, as his corpse dissolves into a mushy, visceral substance. This cocoon then violently pulsates before rupturing, giving birth to a new, fully formed Ralf, covered in bloodied slime and emerging stark naked, with no visible injuries or scars on his body. Whenever this occurs, he experiences temporary blindness, dizziness, and intense, bitter coldness.

Hobbies: Baseball, participating in the biennial fighting tournaments that the Ikari Warriors host, taking his friends to carnival rides, camping trips, and science and art museums, rewatching his favourite anime movies and shows, and playing arcade games and iconic riffs on the electric guitar

Likes: A medal awarded from the President of the United States, the natural sounds of the jungle, collecting blades that look cool in his eyes, alebrije sculptures, and Clark

Dislikes: False rumours, venomous snakes, abuse of power, children being killed, and people hurting and insulting those he considers as “family”

Favourite food: Intestinal sausages and bubblegum that taste like watermelon and blueberry

Favourite drink: Root beer floats and brandy

Sexuality: Biromantic asexual

Gender: Male

Age: 25 (in 2022), 31 (in 2028), 33 (in 2030), 35 (in 2032), 37 (in 2034), 44 (in 2041), 46 (in 2043), 47 (in 2044), and 50 (in 2047)

Blood type: A+

Weight: 243 lbs. (110 kg)

Design: He's a 6' 2" (187.96 cm) American mesomorph of Latino, Ojibwe, and British descent with a robust build, decently chiselled musculature, broad shoulders, and a bit of a beer belly. He has almond skin, sunburst amber-sage green eyes, toes tipped with black wolf claws, and bear-like teeth. His hair resembles Ralf's from KOF XII and KOF XIII, but it's slightly tousled and a shimmering ash brown, and often tied into a long braid that falls to the middle of his back. His back and armpits are covered in golden brown otter fur, accented with streaks of olive green and tan. Additionally, his back features distinctive white spots outlined in black.

On his left deltoid, he has a tattoo of a stylized red otter playfully escaping the jaws of a black-furred wolf with piercing yellow eyes, clutching a ball of purple fire in its forepaws. On his right forearm, he has a tattoo of an alebrije with undulating cerulean horns, an orchid purple eagle head, languid lavender eyes with aquamarine pupils, a fiery mane, a forest green elk body, and a hot pink salmon tail with red-orange tiger stripes. Sprawled across the right side of the creature in a vertical line is a Spanish phrase in silver: "La sangre nos fortalece", which translates to "Blood strengthens us" in English.

Ralf's military gear consists of a chrome orange bandana with shaky rifle green spots and cinnabar fingerless driving gloves with four ivory spikes on the knuckles. He wears a waterproof dark green vest with the Ikari Warriors logo emblazoned on the back, and a coyote-fur trimmed collar. He wears cargo pants with an army green, brown, and silver-grey camouflage pattern, which aren't tucked into his beige jungle boots. He wears a grimy asparagus-hued sleeveless shirt paired with a yellowish-tan belt featuring four black pouches for bullets and a holster for his handgun.

Attached to his belt are two swords: Harpe, a khopesh-like sickle sword with a flint-encased adamant blade, and Yawarakai-Te, a double-edged katana featuring a green-grey hilt and a hardwood sheath adorned with iridescent crow feathers. When the air gently blows past Yawarakai-Te's blade, it produces a soft hissing sound. Yawarakai-Te's blade is unnaturally frigid, able to cut a leaf in half with ease, and compels its user to spare the innocent and undeserving from attack. Ralf dons a cardinal red waist pack that holds two cans of root beer as well as black elbow and knee pads. He also wears a black drop leg sheath for his Zantetsu sword, which features two pointed silvery stripes that form a triangular pattern.

Over his shirt, he dons a Soldier Plate Carrier System (SPCS) with a MultiCam pattern, which carries around his walkie-talkie and ammo for other firearms. Above his belt, he has a dark brown bandolier for holding sticks of dynamite. Ralf carries around a yellowish-tan load-bearing backpack that contains camping equipment, tactical explosives, portable ammo boxes, a canteen full of water, maps for all continents, an extra pair of clothes, and a bag of THC-infused box gummies in light orange (mango peach), red (strawberry), and pale yellow (pineapple). His backpack also contains a faded photograph of him and Clark in their twenties, an army Medal of Honor, a silver milagro charm in the shape of a fiery heart for good luck and protection, a bottle of his chosen brandy, an empty spotted turtle shell, and a dreamcatcher adorned with a grey web design, song sparrow feathers, and colourful beads in red, white, yellow, and black.

He occasionally brings his copper-hued electric guitar and goldenrod-coloured pick holder, containing a rainbow of guitar picks (he jokingly says that he dislikes the purple one the most), on deployments and during downtime in the field. He wears hook earrings, each featuring three porcupine quills tipped with gaspeite beads, and a Jocla necklace made of alternating white wampum beads, copper beads, and raven feathers.

Thanks to Tarma, he owns a key to access his red-violet Matchless G3/L motorcycle, which has a purplish-black sheen. The gas tank features a sky blue fish scale pattern with malachite green dots at the centre of each scale.

Super Devil form: He's a 15' 7" (474.98 cm) draconic entity with a grotesque musculature and scaly rifle green skin that shimmers with a vibrant hot pink iridescence. He has a cerulean coyote-shaped head with sunburst amber-sage green eyes, hot pink slit pupils, a cardinal red nose, and a wispy ash brown goat's beard. Ralf also has horse ears, an orchid purple snout, two rows of olivine shark teeth, and a slimy, pointed tongue. His arms and legs are enveloped in a thick layer of otter fur, matching the tufts found in the armpits of his human form. He has undulating cerulean horns, a fiery mane, spiked knuckles, eagle-like feet, and razor-sharp wolf claws that tip his fingers and toes.

Three rows of symmetrical, deadly sharp, conical spikes are positioned on his back, running from the base of his neck to just before the start of his tail. He has two massive bat-like wings, boasting an impressive wingspan of 21 ft (640.08 cm). Despite being dull and tattered, the wings' membrane displays silvery spots and a striking gradient from grenadier red to flush orange to selective yellow. Additionally, Ralf has olivine thumbs tipped with copper claws, and his forearms, wrists, and five fingers are dark green. He has a long, winding, serpentine tail, twice his height in length, with fur and colouration matching the fur on his human back. The tail culminates in a silver arrowhead-shaped tip.

Character summary: He's a rowdy and outgoing individual who inspires others to step out of their comfort zones and discover new reasons to live. He's a sassy, stubborn, and refreshingly honest thrill-seeker with an unrelenting passion for action and living dangerously. He prioritises relaxation and makes sure those around him take time to unwind and recharge regularly. He strives to maintain an optimistic outlook and is frustrated by pessimism and cynicism, wishing others could focus on the positive and appreciate life's blessings.

After forming a new connection, he rapidly becomes emotionally invested and starts to regard the person as a close family member. He's extremely protective towards new recruits under his command, comrades, and friends, viewing them as family. Ralf is willing to go to great lengths to ensure their safety and the security of innocent lives, even if it requires taking bold action or putting himself in harm's way. However, he harbours a deep-seated hatred for betrayal, particularly among those in the Regular Army or whom he considers family.

He often enjoys teasing Clark, playfully poking fun at his serious nature while showing him brotherly affection, but also treats him with great respect and compassion. The thought of potentially losing his brother-in-arms, Clark, through unfair circumstances is unbearable to him. He secretly resents being scolded for harmless fun, but Clark's disappointment stings the most, filling him with remorse. Ralf is captivated by Hyakutaro's enigmatic past, pioneering status as the first known esper of contemporary history, and his free-spirited nature. He finds Tarma and Nadia to be absolutely hilarious and has a soft spot for Trevor's nerdy and laid-back demeanour.

He deeply cares about children, recognizing their importance to the growth and future of humanity, and is appalled by those who abuse and harm them. The thought of inadvertently causing harm to a child or being forced to do so is utterly devastating to him. Whenever possible, he enjoys connecting with children through entertaining storytelling sessions and lively games of baseball.

Notably, he shares a surprisingly close bond with Heidern, with many speculating that he views him as a father figure. This connection likely stems from Ralf’s gratitude for the opportunity to train under Heidern after being accepted into the Ikari Warriors. He regards Leona as a younger sister, frequently joining her in playful pranks and good-natured teasing of their friends. He goes out of his way to lift her spirits and offer comfort during her most challenging moments. He’s close friends with Nathalie Neo, and relishes the opportunity to work alongside her on missions. He holds her in high esteem as a skilled and proactive member of the Peregrine Falcons Squad, admiring her willingness to boldly take initiative in battle without hesitation. After discovering that she was the daughter of 2nd Lieutenant Cook, he made a promise to protect her and keep her safe from harm. This was because she was the only thing left that reminded him of one of his deceased superiors and best friends.

He strongly disapproves of Gimlet's misogynistic behaviour and objectification of women as well as his aggressive tendency to provoke physical confrontations with Tarma and Marco. Ralf has a tendency to speak passionately about his interests, which range from his favourite anime movies to his admiration for Marco's team and Division 6. As a confident, self-sufficient, and resourceful individual, he thrives on hard work, deriving a profound sense of fulfillment from completing challenging tasks. When not fuelled by excitement or anger, he exudes a calming presence, often serving as a mediator to resolve disputes among friends and comrades as he detests conflict. His insatiable curiosity drives him to explore thought-provoking questions and his surroundings, usually alongside those close to him.

Similar to Marco, he has a habit of concealing his deepest emotions, particularly those related to the many people he has lost during countless wars and terrorist attacks. Instead, he often tries to drown his sorrows with a few drinks, seeks comfort in the company of friends or indulges in reckless activities. Whenever he gets drunk, he exhibits forgetfulness, clumsiness, mild paranoia, excessive joviality, and loquaciousness. He has a habit of frequently mistaking people's names, often using similar but incorrect variations (e.g. calling Marco "Mark" and Fio "Fia"), which greatly embarrasses him, prompting him to profusely apologise for the mistake. He tries his best to avoid water activities like cruising and canoeing as they make him prone to seasickness. He's a deep sleeper, periodically punctuated by soft snores, but his restlessness is evident in his frequent tossing and turning.

He believes that immortality is unattainable for espers and humans, reserved for the psyche and most powerful deities. He's an animist who believes everything is interconnected, and everyone has a vital role in stewarding the earth. He's a devout believer in manitou, which represents the mysterious power of life and the universe. He loves participating in Talking Circles as it gives him an opportunity to connect with friends and comrades through shared stories. Surprisingly, Ralf is a skilled storyteller, often recounting his past experiences and sharing entertaining moral stories his father once shared with him. Although he's a fun-loving, hot-headed enthusiast of arcades and classic anime with a great sense of humour, he possesses remarkable wisdom and generosity. He dislikes the false rumours that surround global events and people's personal lives.

Backstory: Rafael Paul Jonesbury was born on August 25, 1997 in North Dakota, United States. His father, Gabriel Jonesbury, was an Ojibwe shaman and owner of an arts and crafts shop with a spirit name of Kechewaishke. His mother, Javiera, was a British-Latina mercenary who served in the Regular Army. Like Ralf, she was an esper with the esteemed title of the Avatar of Physical Decay, Luminosity, and Fogginess. Gabriel would often share moral and entertaining stories that connected various figures from Ojibwe spiritual beliefs, such as the Thunderbird, Great Serpent, Mishipeshu, and Nanabozo. He also taught him about other important beliefs valued among First Nations peoples, including the Grandfather Teachings and the Medicine Wheel. He sparked Ralf's love for nature and encouraged him to fearlessly explore his identity and interests.

Javiera taught him numerous Latinx cultural values, the importance of family, and how his faith in God would be greatly rewarded. She often crafted wooden alebrije sculptures for him when she was away from home. She usually encouraged him to be proud of his cultural heritage and not let others bring him down for being different. While she appreciated his fondness for nature, she found his love for arcades and anime perplexing. She would unknowingly spark his interest in the military, particularly the mercenary lifestyle, through her stories and experiences.

At age 7, his parents decided to get a divorce due to their differing spiritual beliefs, which were starting to clash more and more. He lived with his father for the most part but was allowed to visit his mother whenever she was between assignments or not away on mercenary work. He also began to take up baseball, which became his favourite sport to play and watch on the big screen. He also developed a passion for extreme sports, often watching them on TV. Meanwhile, Gabriel would take him on extensive trips across the western, northern, and midwestern United States, exploring America's natural wonders, visiting First Nations communities, and attending conferences focused on Indigenous issues.

At 12, with the support of his father and his Ojibwe community, he embarked on his spiritual quest. Due to the extreme fasting, it put relative strain on his body, which activated his esper abilities. Ralf recalls that it produced visions of his future life as a great warrior and storyteller, revealing that he's an esper and teaching him how to harness his powers and access his Super Devil form. After a period of isolation and fasting, it revealed the spirits of his ancestors and his three guardian animals: the wolf, turtle, and otter. Through this experience, he developed his survival skills, gained maturity, and strengthened his connection with nature and the divine forces of life.

At age 14, before embarking on a mission against mysterious terrorist cultists, Javiera gave him her silver milagro charm for safekeeping, telling him it would bring him good luck and protection. Tragically, that mission proved to be her last, as she was captured and tortured to death. When Ralf received the devastating news, he struggled to come to terms with it and felt overwhelming guilt, as if her fate was his fault because he possessed her milagro charm. Although his parents were divorced, Gabriel was deeply saddened by the news and did his best to support Ralf through his emotional turmoil.

Contrary to rumours, Ralf didn’t drop out of high school and become addicted to LSD after losing his mother. Instead, he channelled his energy into his education, using it as a focus for his future. During this time, Ralf briefly explored dating, going on a few outings with both women and men, but eventually stopped searching for love when he couldn't find the right match. Ralf did experiment with LSD once, but the intense anxiety and hallucinations dissuaded him from ever trying the drug again.

When he turned 20, his father was killed during a robbery at the arts and crafts shop he owned. To make matters worse, he was facing financial difficulties at the time and struggling to find a stable job. In his desperation, he turned to an illegal fighting ring, drawn by the promise of cash prizes likely funded by other criminal activities. He participated in numerous fights, both in the ring and on the streets, for profit, eventually becoming the most skilled fighter among them. Ralf also discovered a fondness for THC-infused gummies, which provided relief from his emotional pain and served as a pleasant indulgence.

All of that changed when the Ikari Warriors discovered the famous street fighter's true identity as an esper after he joined their biennial tournament. With little convincing needed, Ralf joined the Ikari Warriors, driven by a desire to carry on his mother's legacy and explore the world. He excelled in all aspects of the military training he received, particularly in utilising his esper abilities and mastering hand-to-hand combat. The news that the Ikari Warriors had recruited another esper caught Clark's attention, but he was hesitant to approach Ralf. However, after a mission against a corrupt politician attempting to seize control of Brazil, Ralf and Clark became fast friends. During his time with the Ikari Warriors, he formed close friendships with several comrades, including General Kawasaki, 2nd Lieutenant Cook, Eikichi, Leland, and Byron. Leland gifted Ralf his copper-hued electric guitar, complete with a pick holder, as a birthday present and a symbol of respect—a treasured keepsake Ralf still holds dear.

Ralf has been on numerous missions for the Ikari Warriors, rising through the ranks to become a colonel due to his natural leadership skills and courage on the battlefield. He and Clark played a crucial role in defeating a secret society, referred to as the Serapion Fellowship, that had infiltrated and influenced much of Latin America's political and religious landscape, a group that would later evolve into the Ptolemaic Army. During a battle against the Serapion Fellowship on Ilha da Queimada Grande, Ralf narrowly escaped being bitten by a venomous golden lancehead viper. Later, in the Ecuadorian Andes, he had a harrowing encounter with a fer-de-lance, but in a panic, he managed to deflect it towards a group of Ptolemaic Army guerrilla troops. These two chilling incidents instilled in him a deep-seated aversion to venomous snakes.

Rumours have spread that Ralf and Clark might have battled a group of invading Martians in the Baja California desert and emerged victorious. However, they haven't addressed these claims publicly, despite knowing they're entirely false.

In another notable operation, Ralf, Clark, and a few comrades successfully rescued Elise, the U.S. President's daughter, from a massive criminal organisation that had planned to exploit her to gain access to the President's funds and harvest her organs. Ralf fondly recalls this mission, as it earned him a Medal of Honor from the U.S. President. He acquired Harpe during a mission in Greece where terrorists had raided a recently discovered catacomb. Additionally, he obtained Yawarakai-Te during a separate mission in Yamagata, Japan where a cult with illegal weaponry had taken over an old village, intent on instigating a nationwide war.

Ralf has endured numerous tragedies, fueling his determination to improve and protect the innocent. He witnessed the devastating loss of General Kawasaki during a battle against a cartel in Mexico, where he was tragically crushed and burned alive by flaming debris from a missile strike. 2nd Lieutenant Cook fell victim to a traitor within the Ikari Warriors, who ratted them to a bioterrorist group during a mission in Czechia, resulting in her assassination. While investigating a town ravaged by a guerrilla army in Saudi Arabia, Byron was horrifically devoured by a swarm of Man Eaters. Leland met a brutal end during a mission on a stolen submarine, where he was fatally gutted by a criminal. Eikichi suffered a terrifying fate when a Mutated Soldier latched onto him while investigating an abandoned laboratory, promptly exploding shortly after.

During the Great Morden War, Ralf made a name for himself as he single-handedly successfully defended the United States against the Rebel Army's invasion. Notably, he destroyed a massive Rebel aircraft that had been using captured men, women, and children as hostages and human shields. However, upon destroying the aircraft, Ralf was met with devastating news: there were innocent civilians on board, and they had all perished in the attack. This heroic yet tragic act caught the attention of the Regular Army's high command, who subsequently approached the Ikari Warriors to propose a strategic alliance. The offer was readily accepted, and as a result, the Ikari Warriors were integrated as the elite mercenary branch of the Regular Army.

Following the Great Morden War, Ralf was deployed on a mission to assist Nathalie Neo, a new recruit from the Peregrine Falcons Squad. Their objective was to track down and eliminate a rogue cell of Rebel Army soldiers planning to spark chaos for unknown reasons. During a nighttime operation in a dense forest, they discovered that the Rebel soldiers they had neutralised were, in fact, robotic and biomechanical in nature. Upon inspecting the bodies, they noticed a suspicious logo on the necks of each one, which Ralf recognized from Clark's accounts of being experimented on by a notorious organisation. This revelation led them to realise that the Amadeus Syndicate was behind the sinister operation. They promptly reported their findings to the Regular Army and continued to combat the rogue cell, aiming to disrupt the Amadeus Syndicate's plans.

After Ralf's Vulcan Punch and Galactica Phantom obliterated the Hellfire, their battles raged on through treacherous landscapes. He and Nathalie navigated a jungle waterfall, where they clashed with the Arachnid Bot. They raided an underground base containing numerous cargo crates of trafficked weapons and drugs to launch a daring assault and destroy the Cyclops. Taking to the skies, Ralf and Nathalie eliminated the Mega Laser Turret, cleverly disguised as a Rebel Army plane. While Nathalie fought soldiers on the wing of the plane and attacked the aircraft's weak point, Ralf broke into the aircraft and battled cyborg Rebel Army troops. He stole classified documents, but they turned out to be decoys, containing only basic information on genetics and brain psychology in serial killers and soldiers. This made the reason behind the Amadeus Syndicate's operation a mystery. After destroying the Mega Laser Turret, Ralf swiftly rescued Nathalie using his own Slug Flyer because hers had been obliterated by the aircraft’s laser beam.

As a way to support the Regular Army and show his respect, Ralf frequently trains new recruits to hone their melee combat skills. Due to his mercenary work, he rarely had the opportunity to meet members of the Regular Army's other special forces. He had always heard heroic stories about Hyakutaro and the elite members of the P.F. Squad and S.P.A.R.R.O.W.S., especially those from the Great Morden War and the Extraterrestrial Alliance Clash. He initially hoped to meet them in person, fascinated by their tactical prowess and teamwork. This dream eventually became a reality during a mission against the Invaders.

[iravaid]

sry if this is random but will u tell us what english au is? i remember seeing it passing re: codposting and im so curious

Hi i'm so happy you asked

English AU came about when me and @farramint started bonding over how much we hated the comics and talked about how things might look if Roba was more competent.

English AU sprouts from the concept of what would happen if Simon let the brainwashing 'work' and started complying with Roba, to an extent, as his personal attack dog. Both as a way to get the torture to stop (so he would be healthy enough in the future to escape on his own, when the opportunity arose), and to stall Roba getting bored with Simon and killing him (as, in this AU, Roba had Sparks killed, leading Simon to realise his time is limited here, and dependent on that sadist's interest in him).

It's also a fun, morbid enough exploration on how low Simon will be forced to stoop while 'working' for Roba (murder, torture and such, yknow how it is), as well as the harassment, humiliation, and torture (of all kinds) he'd have to tolerate within the Zaragoza cartel. Things like forcefully being tattooed, mocked for the sexual assault and torture he'd been subjected to, and being referred to by 'English' as opposed to his actual name. I can see Roba subtly holding Simon's family hostage (to where they don't know they're in danger), and making sure Simon knows that any step too far out of line will lead to their harm. Gripped by the idea that the first time Simon hears his brother's, or mother's, voice in months is a conversation secretly recorded between one of them, and someone Roba had planted in Manchester in order to keep tabs on them.

It also lead to the idea of Roba, in all his arrogance, seeing a weakness in Las Almas following the upheaval within the cartel causing El Sin Nombre to rise to prominence. And this spurs him to try and expand operations. One thing leads to another, and Valeria convinces 'English' to help her against Roba, in exchange for his own freedom. Roba eventually dies, Valeria and Simon are violent girlbosses in arms, and Simon is coping sooo well after the torture nexus that he's just going to brutally hunt down the remaining Zaragoza cartel lieutenants while in this tenuous alliance with El Sin Nombre, who is also unsure how much to trust this man, as well as unsure if she wants to even let him go - Simon is very good at what he does, and in all honesty he knows too much about her identity. Also extremely to draw parallels between Valeria and Rudy, but if people want to read about that lmk because that's a separate post entirely.

And it makes sense for the 141 to eventually appear, maybe somewhat faithful to the plot of MW2, with the missiles and such <3. Except now there's some ulterior motives from Price, who might be aware of the MIA SAS serviceman who got tangled up in rumours of corruption and cartels. Leading to him trying to find Simon Riley and bring him back home with this sense of duty/honour to uphold, in the wake of higher-ups failing this man.

Simon then going from one master (Roba) to another (Valeria) to another (Price) is very fun to consider, as well. Valeria giving Simon more independence than Roba ever did, with shreds of respect to stop him from rankling under her thumb as badly (but still keeping Control, at the end of the day). Price is very much a man who knows how to utilise the men under him as Weapons, and while he respects his subordinates as people (versus Roba seeing Simon as a convenient attack dog he used to make kneel naked, arms behind his back, in a wire kennel for hours on end), Price ultimately values them by their individual abilities to keep the 'bad guys' afraid of their own shadows, and to 'save' the world.

This au has everything. Alejandro-Valeria bitter divorce, competent Roba horrors, Graves is there for some reason (he explodes in the tank again), Simon slaughter hashtag girl momen with a cunty silk buttonup a (with the buzzcut no less)(and houndcoding)(and corruption. but how much is merely just building off his sas conditioning), Price's vague sense of corruption but 'for the greater good', Soap and Gaz's horror at Simon's situation in a 'this very easily could've been us' way, and Gaz gets thrown out of another helicopter.

augh this became long, i hope it makes sense. The idea is ultimately that simon gets to go home, too, and tries to readjust to a 'normal' life, reuniting with Tommy and Sharon and Beth and Joseph. But I can see Price convincing him to return to the service (he knows a lifer when he sees one, and why waste a good soldier), potentially as a private contractor with the 141.

[nemainofthewater]

Masterlist of polls

If anyone wants to filter out the polls, I'm going to tag everything with '#cdrama poll' going forward! (and please let me know if I forget!)

Current poll:

Eunuch most likely to survive several emperors

Minipoll - best pasta shape

Minipoll - most likely to do well in a cdrama 2

Mini poll - best allium

Past polls are under the cut!

Masterlist of minipolls

Worst played instrument | Best opening song | Best end song | Best cover | Most dramatic weather | Best non sword weapon 1, 2

Lying liar who lies | Doctor most likely to tie their patient to the bed |Character most likely to be responsible for the invention of ancient fantasy China bleach | Most long suffering lieutenant

Goodest boi | Heroine most likely to kick your ass | Female antagonist most likely to awaken things | Amazing cooks | Most convincing cross dressing

Most likely to fake own death to avoid committee meetings | Precious cinnamon roll, too good, too pure | Best Character with [X] Surname polls part 1, part 2 | Most Likely to be Anaemic | Worst Shixiong | Best OT3

Best Jin Yong Adaptation Masterlist | Best Book Adaptation (Animated) | Best Book Adaptation (Danmei) | Best Book Adaptation (BG/Het) | Best Book Adaptation (Other)

Worst (Alive) Father | Best (Alive) Father | Most Expressive Fan | Poorest Little Meow Meow | Cdrama most likely to be stuck in a time vortex

Brattiest Younger Sibling Energy | Funniest product placement | Most likely to write a trashy romance novel | Drama/film most likely to give you the munchies | Most gremlin to ever gremlin

Most likely to be in deep debt with their tailor | Most puppy dog vibes | Cdrama mum most likely to help you successfully plan a coup | Worst cook | Most divorced energy | Best white haired character

Most chaotic workplace | Biggest brother energy | Best neurodivergent character | Most likely to booby trap their house during lockdown | Sexiest white hair streak | Characters most likely to cause chaos after switching with a character played by the same actor

[ragedagainst]

bold what applies to your muse; italicize what sometimes applies; strike what never applies.

► AESTHETIC -- dark colors. bright colors.  neon colors.  soft colors.  blood.  forests.  space.  mansions.  ghosts.  asylums.  wastelands.  fire.  injuries.  hands. dolls.  fog.  storms.  galaxies.  snow.  dawn.  midnight.  cold.  animals.  sharp teeth.  neck.  shoulders.  bruises.  freckles.  legs.  feminine.  masculine.  burns.  weapons.  colorful hair.  witchcraft.  lips.  webs.  fields.  corn fields.  tears.  sweat.  glitter.  flowers.  plants.  magic.  fear.  pain.  murder.  guns.  scars.  missing posters.  old paintings.  strange eyes. explosions.  creatures.  lingerie.  kissing.  playfulness. metal.  diamonds.  rust.  iron.  stealth.  running away.  steel.  glass.  wood.  porcelain.  paper.  fur.  lace.  leather.  synthetics.  robots. droids.  monsters.  childhood fears.  cigarettes.  alcohol.  cameras.  video cameras.  polaroid cameras.  phones.  computers.  war.  peace.  angels. demons.  decay.  sadness.  red lipstick.  powder puffs.  abandoned cars.  skeletons.  strangling.  overcoats.  puppets.  torture. ptsd.  insomnia.  old cottages.  loyalty.  hospitals. syringes.  bared teeth.  scary basements.  butterflies.  prosthetic limbs.  cats.  dogs.  dreams.  burned-out buildings.  armor.

► APPEARANCE -- thick waist. narrow waist.  narrow hips.  average hips.  wide hips.  curvy frame.  muscular frame.  chubby frame.  petite frame.  lanky frame.  voluptuous frame.  lean frame.  skinny.  long legs.  stumpy.  average legs.  thick thighs.  muscular thighs.  toned thighs.  slender thighs.  beer belly.  toned stomach.  flat stomach. feminine frame.  masculine frame.  six pack.  harsh facial features.  baby face. shaved face.  soft features.  angular features.  square jaw.  beard. five o'clock shadow. freckles.  scars.  moles.  dimples.  braces.  tattoos.  piercings.  pigtails.  messy hair.  pixie cut.  bald.  long hair.  shaved head.  ponytail.  clipped-back fringe.  shoulder length.  bob cut.  old-fashioned hairstyle.  dreadlocks.  bun.  braids.  shaved side.  mohawk.  buzz cut.  afro.  asymmetric.  crown braid. wavy. short.  cotton buns.  fade.  comb over.  side part.  other.

► WARDROBE -- tight pants. denim jeans  cargo pants.  fatigues.  chinos.  khakis.  dress slacks.  slim-fit.  dockers.  pajama bottoms.  shorts.  short-shorts.  jean shorts.  dungarees.  skirt-overalls.  pencil skirt.  long skirt.  mini skirt.  tutu.  leggings.  sports bra.  yoga pants.  basketball shorts.  joggers.  sweats.  sweater.  sweater vest.  vest.  t-shirt. tank undershirt. long-sleeve.  tight shirts.  polo shirt.  athletic shirt.  cardigan.  button-up shirt.  v-neck. henley.  flannels.  plaid. crop top.  tank top.  blouse.  racerback shirts.  boob tube.  sundress.  1-shoulder dress.  strapless.  jumper dress.  apron dress.  dress shirt.  ball gown.  nightgown.  hoodies.  army jacket.  mechanic coveralls.  trench coat.  bomber jacket.  sport coat. leather jacket.  lots of layers.  uniform.  dress uniform. armor.  bare feet. high heels.  ballet shoes.  jelly shoes.  flip-flops.  sandals.  rain boots.  sneakers.  pumps.  flats.  thigh-high boots.  cowboy boots. timberland boots. doc martens.  slip-ons.  slippers.  motorcycle boots.  chukkas.  loafers.  dress boots.  knee boots. riding boots.  knee-high socks.  socks.  hose.  stockings.  beanies.  top hat.  sunhat.  newsboy cap.  fedora.  baseball cap. belt.  tool / utility belt.  gloves.

► HAS YOUR MUSE EVER… broken a bone. had a near death experience.  killed someone (and succeeded). saved a life.  self-harmed.  attempted suicide. had surgery.  kissed the same gender/sex.  had sex.  had sex and regretted it. lost a loved one.  had a pet.  gotten arrested.  gotten married.  divorced. cheated.  gotten shot.  been stabbed.  witnessed death.  taken drugs. gotten drunk. kept a promise you regretted.  played with an ouija board. seen a ghost.  been in a car accident.  gotten stitches. suffered from amnesia. survived a natural disaster. survived an assassination attempt. survived a plane / ship crash. been framed. gone undercover. faked death. assumed a fake identity. led a double life.  invented something. had something slipped in their food / drink.  been kidnapped. been taken hostage.  been sexually assaulted.  been bullied.  bullied someone.  had a stalker. been betrayed.  been a traitor. been blackmailed.  been abused.  gotten away with crime. killed someone (and failed).

tagged by: @stillsolo thank you so much! tagging: @deadmare , @proditeur , @enchaentd , @strnza , @guttcrson , @sectyr , @profecier , and you !!