#we've had it too good for too long
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S&S D Arriving Today!!! Ch 13 Out of Context...
#its almost time#12 hours or less#my fics#dipplinshipping#kieran pokemon#kieran x juliana pokemon#juliana x kieran pokemon#juliana pokemon#kieran x juliana#juliana x kieran#nemona pokemon#arven pokemon#penny pokemon#paldean squad#red flags :)#flower lore#whoops#prelude to beach episode#we've had it too good for too long#ty for being patient I wanted it to be good <3
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Hello! I hope I won't sour your mood with this ask but I have been thinking a lot about your gay dogs this month especially.
I'll just try to keep the context short but in general I'm someone that has accepted being romantically undesireable. It was hard but in the end I have built my life just around me, my humble family and at this point in time I don't even think I have the time for a partner. And considering that it's the love month and a lot of people are preparing to celebrate it with their SOs I assumed that, actually, this is a thing that I sort of have in common with Machete.
From the miscellaneous lore on your profile I see Machete as someone that also has kind of rejected love. That also has built his life around his job, possibly hobbies, his family or mentors (depending if we're talking about canon or modern au). Who kind of forgot that relationships are a thing and that people bond with others in that way. Well, at least he did until meeting Vasco.
I just love thinking about their awkward beginnings. Machete being 100% sure that Vasco is just joking, maybe even sometimes teasing him (in a friendly banter type way) or just explaining to himself that all that kindness and interest is just him being a very considerate friend. And then we have Vasco that just tries to be subtle, as if he was trying to pass a fawn without it noticing and running away, but also with time gains confidence and tries more risque moves. Vasco being all smug and Machete being flustered when their hands or shoulders or tails brush in passing. And then when both are sure of their feelings we have Machete who has to choose between God and his love. Who, at first, unwillingly accepts that divine wrath will be worth their brief love.
I just love your boys. I swear they are all the love supply one might possibly need
Thank you for such a long and thoughtful message! I don't know why you thought you might accidentally sour my mood, I'm utterly delighted whenever I hear that someone has been pondering my little guys (rotating them in their head, as they say), and when they go through the trouble of sharing their findings and conclusions I'm so happy I could crawl up a wall.
I think you deciphered Machete's inner workings very well, especially those of the original canon version. The concept of love is of course prominent in Christianity, so even as a kid being raised in a religious environment that discouraged overt displays of affection and close personal bonds, Machete wasn't completely alienated from it. But it has always been a nebulous, unperceivable and unattainable thing for him. When he was old enough to lock down his career choice he readily accepted he'd never have romantic relationships, spouse or a family, and I think he must've been too young and socially inexperienced to think of it as a significant loss. Either he consciously blocked out the need for companionship by studying and working like his life depended on it, or he didn't really consider that being genuinely befriended, appreciated and loved as a person instead of a respectable and competent authority figure was even an option for him, at least not until Vasco came along.
#I think it took some time to get through his initial defences#especially since when they first met the stressful apprenticeship period was still fresh in Machete's mind#the years under his explosive and gaslighting mentor's wing had made him very distrustful so he preferred to just stick to himself#Vasco is good at winning people over and once he convinced him that he didn't have any ulterior motives they became besties pretty quickly#and even though the line between platonic and romantic started gradually blurring Machete kept convincing himself#that his feelings for Vasco were just Very Deep Friendship#and Vasco has an eye for noticing these things and a bolder personality#so when he tried to reciprocate a little bit Machete thought 'what a good friend he is'#'so kind and considerate and I'm so grateful and lucky to have him and I must not ruin things by getting too personal'#it was awkward and at times a little bit painful but I'd like to believe the progression was for the most part smooth and natural#considering the circumstances it could've been a lot more distressing#as corny as it is I think they were just happy to have found each other#they advanced at the same phase and reached the 'I think we've become a couple actually' stage at the same time#at least that's how I imagine it at the moment#answered#anonymous#Vaschete lore#long post
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my honest reaction
#once again the trailer just kind of makes me feel nothing but confusion at why theyre doing things the way they are#why is gerald still alive. even if it turns out to be time travel or him being frozen alongside shadow or something#it still takes away a lot of the emotional impact of shadows story ... why .....#the fact that theyre just seemingly having gerald be rouge's replacement in the dark story trio too???? what. thats stupid .#and speaking of rouge. where are rouge and amy. ive never seen a single good argument to justify their exclusion here#why is the only girl character from the games whos present the one who famously dies horribly for male characters' motivation#(to be clear im not saying the way maria's death is handled in the games is bad writing or anything#just that having her be the only girl character to have a movie counterpart is certainly A Choice.)#and. why are team sonic (and human characters associated with them who are supposed to be the good guys) working with gun .#gun literally does nothing but cause problems for sonic in sa2 ?!?!?!??!?!#even if it does turn out theyre not being completely honest with sonic about what shadow's whole deal is thats still. why ...#i wasnt expecting an exact recreation of sa2 but that doenst mean i have to be okay with every possible change they make either#especially when a lot of this stuff just actively makes the story worse. sa2 im so sorry they did this to you#honestly probably wouldnt bother me quite as much if this was a comic or tv show or something#and not . a big popular movie that is probably going to overshadow the game in a lot of peoples minds. ughhhh#also shadow has still only had a couple lines so maybe its not fair for me to say anything just yet#but i dont . really like how he sounds from what we've heard .. why did the ycast keanu reeves this sucks#idris elba as knuckles is starting to annoy me too tbh . like i didnt care for it at first but then it grew on me#and now im back to not really liking it . that is NOT knuckles#anyway. im honestly struggling to understand how so many fans of the games are uncritically excited about the movie ?#and dont have any problem with the writing choices being made here.. ?#do they just not care how shadow's story is portrayed as long as he looks cool doing it .. ?#im not saiyng the people who are excited are fake fans i just . dont get it
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i've seen the minecraft movie trailer
who was the writer that decided to make steve reference "the children yearn for the mines"
i just want to talk
no ignore the baseball bat in my hands
#ashton is talking#minecraft movie#everything else about the trailer sucks ass as well#'there are evil forces trying to destroy this world'#and they cut to the piglins#you know#the guys that just chill in the nether#and are relatively harmless so long as you're wearing gold/don't hurt/steal from them#yeah i'm#i'm sure they're a huge threat to the world#uh huh#god i already hate the iseki'd into a video game angle they're taking#but to then add a boring 'evil forces are destroying this world' angle on top that we've seen a million times?#i feel bad for any writers that had actually good ideas but were shot down for this cheap cash grab slop#god forbid we just use minecraft as a setting and make a story set in it a la minecraft: story mode!#anyways i'm so sorry msm i was too harsh to you#what's funny is so many youtubers with little to no budget have created FAR better stories just by playing minecraft#shoutout to my childhood that was the haunting of herobrine series#shame what's happened to it but that was far better story telling than a movie with probably millions of dollars behind it could make#although i do swear to the stars above if herobrine shows up in the movie SO HELP ME-
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gonna be so sad when tonight is the first preshow space with good audio and i'm asleep because i have a psych appointment tomorrow
#life update if anyone gaf we're now at the point where i know i'm getting the adhd diagnosis and yet i STILL HAVE TO WAIT#like she just isnt sure if it's adhd or add (its norway theyre not gonna update the terms any time soon just roll with it)#and im just like. girl i don't give a fuck#its been so many years i cant do this anymore#we've talked to my fucking kindergarten teachers like 😭 they've investigated my entire life atp#to make sure i did in fact have all these issues from birth#because my word and my mum's word just isn't good enough i guess#like lets rely on the selective memories of random ass people ive encountered growing up this is ASININE#anyway my godmother had a 4h consultation the other day and got diagnosed on the spot#so now my mum is mad at her LMFAO#cause my mum's like. that bitch doesn't even have adhd. shes fine.#which i feel like is probably wrong but i agree with the sentiment#where is the deep dive investigation into her wholeass existence 😭#its cause she got to go private but they refuse to refer me to a private specialist so i have to keep going publuc#public#and if i go private on my own its too expensive plus the waitlist is years long#so. whatever. i guess.#man im so tired.#i will never ever ever forgive my psychiatrist from when i was 15 who said i probably had adhd but because i did ok in school its fine#and they wouldnt set the diagnosis#because the fact that i have papers from when i was 15 saying i don't have it is what's making this all so difficult#even though if you read all the papers it says i hit on EVERY SINGLE POINT#which is why the One Psych who listened to me is absolutely fuming losing her mind cause she can't understand why any of this happened#man i hate my fucking life lol
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church today was SO good
#julia.txt#my church started out as an arabic church#but then ppl started having kids and we ran into the problem of these kids dont know arabic well enough to understand whats being said#so we started doing two meetings one in arabic and one in english/french#but it was kinda discouraging bc it meant the arabic meeting (which is the one i attend) is very sparsely populated#the bilingual one too but like. theres still more people#but today we tried combining the two so like#singing hymns in arabic and english#if someone could pray in both languages they would#the sermon had a real time translation#AND IT WAS SO GOOD. IT WAS SO NICR#its been so long since we've had everyone in the same room i almost started crying with the first hymn because it sounded so FULL#praying that we make the switch to that
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#sorry sorry I just woke up and im having yesterday-was-weird thought again#and they are going here so i don't have to talk to the person that they're um about yet#basically im glad that im in a good enough space now that um#someone ive ive had text-based sex with and uhhh sent an ill-advised video to in like oct when i was Feeling Bad™ and doing. hm. too much.#like 6 months post text-based sex/ill adised video now aha and we've not spoke at all since like january and that was 'how was hols'#they asked to meet up 'not for sex just as friends' or i forget exact wording but basically that#no-pressure museum not-a-date#and i said I'd think about it. because i am as everyone knows a fucking idiot.#basically im glad that im in a better place now than the last time someone like expressed an interest in me as a person#because while this did give me a day long wobble i didn't have a full weekend long actual panic about it#tho they are two v different situs#an ace poly friend asking to go out with me vs someone i uh virtually fucked aha um asking to meet up for (mostly) being-friends purposes#same several-hours-later 'oh god no what have i done bad bad bad no thank you actually no sorry i cant sorry' but less intense this time#but at least i only said ill think about it?#and not actually immediately said yes because it's nice to feel wanted#and then gone Maximum Regret™ because actually all of this is way too much i don't like it i don't want it thank you but im sorry no#weird. i guess i don't have such a high baseline stress level any more? since i'm not at uni n stuff#and someone over messages going no pressure you want to be irl friends (maybe fwb no pressure)? is um#is different. to someone irl going you want to go out acely? yeah? awesome lets hold hands here is the discord with a whole buncha people#i guess#but i am being equally aro-not-super-ace Autism™ about it aha#and i am. eventually. going to be like. thought about it and no sorry. eventually.#if they ask again#i am kinda hoping they'll leave it there and forget they asked so i don't have to navigate social stuff#im much better at navigating canals everybody leave me alone please thank you#(everybody over there leave me alone. y'know. you guys are fine.)
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shaved my legs so I'm a different person now
#I was impressed that my dinky armpit-hair razor actually held up to the furred terrain it was dealing with#we've had water shortages 3 years in a row so the legs just weren't a priority. this might be the first time in a year or so#exciting stuff lol#also today I got crowded into a corner in the metro by a guy who was in the ladies carriage (?)#he was a good two heads taller than me. no mean feat. and stunningly well-proportioned#like a Greek statue tbh. just someone god took his sweet sweet time on y'know?#but like we're in *ran and he wasn't even supposed to be in the ladies carriage let alone literally squashing me into the wall#so I escaped under his arm#and got my first set of non-ooh-look-an-Asian-tourist looks from the other women in the carriage#the looks ranged from /poor helpless you what the hell was he doing/ to /goddamn girl you want to get away from THAT?/#yes ma'am I'm practising to be a monk you see. and also I'm not interested in getting arrested on my morning commute.#and t h e n (adding to the confusion we all had about him) he wedged himself into a newly vacated seat in between two chadori women#and got out a crochet hook and headphones#clarifying: no room to move either of his arms where he'd chosen to sit (also he's! not allowed to sit there!). barely room to BREATHE.#and this man really goes no no the commute needs Enrichment. sat there crocheting.#two things: he was diverting attention away from me which I always appreciate bc I'm tired of getting stared at everywhere#and: am I in love with no-social-cues Adonis who I'll never see again? Have I just been away from people my age too long? wth#thought
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I'm talking to my friend on the phone and we somehow landed on the topic of ~~alternative medicine~~ and oh my god I want to rip my own head off 🙃
#she's so smart and kind and lovely I really don't want her to keep going in this direction 😭#every talk we've had lately she says something that makes me go hmmm oh no#yes positive thinking is good okay yes but no it won't cure someone's cancer and neither does moving to Greece 😭#I think I just went on a very long rant about how thoughts aren't real and they do not influence illnesses in that way and all that does is#lead to blaming people for their chronic illness or disability 😭 there was also something about intrusive thoughts and mental illness idk I#wasn't fully there 😭#I'm very stressed#we talked for 3+ hours and the last 2 were about this stuff#she's very optimistic and always tries to see the best in people so she didn't think of any of the things I brought up and I felt so mean#I wasn't judging *her* I was trying to explain how dangerous this stuff is 😭#anyway I found a way to end the conversation without her thinking I'm mad at her. I think. 😭#great now I'm too exhausted to do anything#personal
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#okay I'm talking in the tags of this post cause shit is happening in my life and I gotta talk about it somewhere#one part of it is my step brother crashing and burning before my very eyes and there's nothing I can do to stop his own destructive actions#so it's just me watching this poor kid ruin his relationships and blame everything and everyone around him as he does so#despite the fact that he's undeniably been treated horribly at times- he's just turned that anger back onto others and himself#and I have no idea what to feel as I watch him get arrested. have drug problems. because I'm just waiting for the inevitable spiral#it doesn't help that my mom has been comparing us and saying that I'm the much better child and she wishes he was like me#not understanding that I could’ve been him if I was just more angry at the world at that age instead of being so sad and scared#and that leads me to my fucking mom cause like- I love her. we've been through alot of bad shit with her#I've almost done some really bad shit for her and I know that she loves me more than anything else#but it feels like its been getting more and more suffocating cause I'm not sure she's able to start seeing me as an adult#and start loosening her grip around me and let me breathe. to have my own experiences without her by my side#to be able to go places and imagine a future without her constantly by my side#she talks and it's like she doesn't even think to wonder that perhaps I want to form my own experiences#and experience the world on my own terms because I feel like I've spent my whole life having so little damn control#religious family. shit and neglectful father who turned into the exact opposite and nearly killed me. family who refuses to listen and talk#having to move and run immediately. put survival above all else. go to school. get out. and god I just wanna breathe#she loves me so much and I love her too. but I feel like I'll be sooner crushed if I stick here for long enough#I'm just mad that my life has been nothing but absolutely no love. sudden waves of intense love. absolutely nothing. sudden spike#and I feel like I'm just finally starting to form good. healthy relationships on my own terms and actually make friends#because I had no idea what I was doing when I was a kid cause I was so fucking lonely and hurting#now I just. gotta figure out how to tell my mom that I can't carry this expectation that I'll continue to stay forever by her side#it just feels like I'm her child first and a person second. and it sucks. it really sucks.#ough. spins and spins and spins and spins-
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#okayokayokay though#i just had the cutest fucking video call with a guy who's so unbelievably sweet#we've been on and off slow-burning for like a year now and the more we talk the more i like him#and DUDE#i just had the gayest interaction#i'm floored by the fanfic nature of this exchange#because this is a long distance 'what even are we' dynamic so it's not like we're gonna say i love you really casually#and idk for sure that i would in person (i probably would have ages ago but that's not the point)#but i said i wished i could kiss him good night and he said he would like that too#and that he'd like to hold me and that it would feel meaningful#and i said 'i would find meaning in holding you too' and OMG#it didn't *totally* whollop me until I'd sent it that that's a really fucking good line (also this last exchange was textjng after the call)#fuckin...#on signal we don't say i love you we say i'd find meaning in holding you and i think that's beautiful#likely this will get deleted someday but i had to freak out about it somewhere#he's so hot and kind and genuinely interesting! and he likes hearing me talk about stuff too!
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Hi iI'm gonna dip you midway through dancing and furiously make out a you in the crowd bc your ace posts are so real so true you truly hit the mark.
(つ╥﹏╥)つ ty so much for this comment annon mwah mwah
I'm always happy to serve the Ace lovers and intend to continue to do so, please look forward to it (☆`• ω •´)b
#<3 asks#twisted wonderland#i was so fucking drunk when i saw this last night and cried a little because i knew i couldn't spell well enough to tell you thank you <3#i think after i finish up trey's long fic i'll do ace's#we've had too many good discussions about him lately not to ( ◡̀_◡́)ᕤ
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is it silly that i applied for jobs at pizza places so i can be like both peppinos?
honestly that's valid 👍👍👍 if the silly Pizza video game has inspired you to go on a pizza journey of your own then i'd say go for it!!
heck getting inspired to do something based on your own interests is pretty common! i had a summer job at a dog kennel once, because i watch too many pet rescue videos and love the idea of working with animals. when i start looking for jobs again i'm probably gonna try to find another animal care job, it was honestly a lot of fun!
..... where was i? oh yeah. pizza. yeah man go ahead and chase those pizza dreams though, Peppino Spaghetti will be watching over you proudly ✨🍕✨
#hey working at a pizza place doesn't sound too bad honestly. as long as it's not like a super-busy chain place.#like the dominos near us. they used to be good but nowadays every pizza we've had from there sucked.#little caesars is our go-to now though because they're cheap and easy. pretty good for the price too. their pepperonis are awesome.#.... this has just turned into me rambling about pizza but HEY i have pizza opinions!!! i love me a good slice of pizza.
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#is it even possible to end a dnd campaign without crying???#like yes the story is coming to an end and i've known that for a long time. even informed my players about it in the summer#but now that the final boss territory is very close at hand i only have two modes:#a) crying about how happy i am to have had these wonderful players at the table. how lucky we've all been to experience this thing together#and b) crying about how terrifying moving on will be. will there be a new campaign after this? is anyone willing to continue#with me as their dm?#(one of the players is Very likely to drop off once the campaign ends. she moved to a different city during these years and#playing remotely has been really tough for all of us. having even one of the players Not There just makes things very hard)#(and because of that i'm worried about the other ones too. if the group is already losing an entire person who knows who'll stay after it)#i'm afraid to talk about The Future with them before the game actually ends#cause y'know. what if it turns out they'd rather not do this thing anymore after this one ends? would it make things weird until the end?#would *I* make things weird??#idk i'm just. tangled in my head. happy about this wonderful game and terrified of the social aspects of doing it with other people#is there like. a good guide book or something about gracefully ending a very long rpg campaign?#sussitalk
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Going from Ancillary Sword into August Kitko and the Mechs from Space is such like... whiplash to my brain. Ancillary Sword was challenging to read in a way I wasn't expecting but man was it rich as hell, the depth of the worlds and characters in that book are insane. Meanwhile reading AKatMfS is like... the premise is so cool and seems right up my alley but something about the writing is just not gelling with me for whatever reason. I want to get through this book so badly because I am interested but like... part of me is just wondering is this it?? Is this all there is to it?
#cat rambles#spoiler talk in the tags now because I'm just thinking about this too much#like... I think around the same points in either book is when the big bad is revealed or like... shows up more prominently I think#and in AJ it's like FUCK that's Anaander Mianaai and holy SHIT she's such a huge threat but she's really only a threat to the main characte#she doesn't become a bigger civil war threat until a lil later and thats like god damn okay now people are really dying because of that#then in AKatMfS the threat is humanity ending like it wants the humans to go extinct and like SHIT that's pretty intense and it wants#humanity's knowledge and memories and shit which thats cool!! I enjoy that!!#Why the fuck does that not feel like as intense of a threat in my mind as like... the Lord of the Radchs????#it's weird... it's so weird because I WANT to enjoy this book I really do#it reminds me of pacific rim in all the good ways but also it just like doesn't go over the details I'm really interested in#and maybe it's just that I'm not as into Gus and Ardent as main characters as I am Breq but then again how the fuck do you top Breq#i also don't think it helps that the creator of the mechs/what is killing humanity was revealed so fast in AKatMfS#Like I started reading that chapter and.... I felt udnerwhelmed???#the twist was kinda neat like we've known about this AI since the beginning parts of the book#but idk.... it's like.... okay... AI knows it's going to be archived once it's no longer useful bc it was built on the corpse of its#predacessor and THATS INTERESTING!!! I LIKE THAT!!! so why then does it feel like such an old cliche#maybe I just gotta read more but I just feel... underwhelmed I guess for lack of a better term#fucking mitchells vs the machines did this shit and that had so much heart in it#back to the pacific rim comparison#this book is also about climate change and war and how bad humanity is and like???? fuck man.... idk do you have anything else to say#besides humans do bad shit and are unredeemable???#I'm sure it does I'm like so sure it does but god#anyways at least I get to read another Andrew Joseph White book after this :]#sunk cost fallacy has my ass unfortunatley#wow this got to be long
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JOB ACHIEVED. FINALLY
#it's only 16-ish hours a week and the pay kinda sucks BUT it's a job and it's a job I can do without killing myself so#$600/month is miles better than $0/month let me tell you#and I'm probably gonna apply for food stamps as well which will help a lot. then I can save a lot more bc I'll have smaller food budget#but god I'm so happy like. $400/month to my parents is going to make such a huge difference#like that'll make up the difference in bills PLUS give us enough extra grocery budget to eat actually good meals#like we've been surviving on mainly canned tuna and white bread and like. very cheap dinners#like the most vegetables we eat is when we have cheesy brocoli rice for dinner rip#I miss when we had curry and pesto pasta and homemade lo mein and stir fry and egg rolls...#we used to have vegetable heavy meals almost every day and now it's just sadness#recently I was craving vegetables so bad I drank a v8. I normally hate that shit but that day it was delicious#(tbc I hate it as a drink but it makes a fantastic ingredient for like. chili and stuff)#anyway all this to say vegetables are on the horizon!!! as are having little treats and stuff!!#also also the vocational rehab place FINALLY called my mom back (apparently the person in charge of returning messages#got fired because they just. weren't doing their job for months 💀)#so my sister is gonna start the process of working with the vocational rehab ppl to get her a job too#which is good bc like. she needs it she really does. she's the kind of person who NEEDS a reason to get out of bed or she just. won't.#and she also hasn't had a job since high school and she only had it for a few weeks before they fired her for a stupid made up reason#(really it was ableism but it was a trash company anyway. glad covid put them out of business. good riddance)#ack these are really long tags sorry but. I'm happy!!!!#shit has been so bad for so long and I finally have a tangible thing I can point to and say look!! it's getting better!!!
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