#the looks ranged from /poor helpless you what the hell was he doing/ to /goddamn girl you want to get away from THAT?/

[considerad]

shaved my legs so I'm a different person now

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 311: Hand Gun

Previously on BnHA: Horikoshi was all “thinkin’ about dropping in some woke analogies of the very real and very presently relevant issue of racial profiling idk what do you guys think” and then shrugged and did it without waiting for an answer, and ngl it was a bit sudden, but I’m here for it. All Might was all “DEKU YOU NEED TO EAT” and Deku was all “OKAY” and took his hero bento and went to go stand dramatically on a tower in the rain whilst having some highly anticipated Vestige flashbacks. OFA II was all, “sup, I guess I’m not Kacchan... OR AM I,” and ngl I think he is?? Alternate universes anybody?? Hello??? But anyway, so OFA the First a.k.a. Yoichi was all “remember that time you guys rescued me from my evil brother and Two took my hand and we Had A Moment?”, and Two and Three were all “ahh yeah good times”, and it was very nice and very, very gay. The chapter ended with it being very unclear if Two and Three have actually lent their power to Deku yet or not lmao. Y’all need to get your shit together dudes.

Today on BnHA: Horikoshi is all “what if I gave a random bad guy a fucking tommy gun that shoots nails” and jesus christ calm down son. The Hawksquad, a.k.a. SQUAWK as per @hotchocolatier​, are all “time to drive aimlessly around town acting like Deku has a restraining order on us because that’s literally the best plan to combat the League we could come up with,” and I have no further comment. Hawks is all “idk about you guys but I want to know more about AFO and Tomura’s whole deal” and I can’t remember the last time I identified so strongly with one of these characters. All Might is all, “[EXPLODES???]”, and the chapter ends with that mysterious hot girl from the Tartarus breakout being all “HELLO I CAN TURN INTO A GUN AND I LITERALLY DON’T GIVE A FUCK” and (1) WOW, and (2) IT’S TRUE, SHE CAN, AND SHE REALLY DOESN’T. GODDAMN.

(ETA: so this wholly escaped my notice on the first go, and also has nothing to do with the chapter itself, but I only just realized that this chapter was scanlated by a new group, TCB Scans. they actually did a very good job, and I’m curious if they’ve found a new RAW provider, because the quality this week is actually crazy good in comparison to what we’ve been dealing with for the past few months. I’m gonna have to get caught up on what exactly happened here lol.)

so what will it be this week? more Vestige antics? more of Sad Nomad Deku standing on buildings and pretending like he’s some cool aloof antihero, as if he could fool us when we all know his hero backpack is secretly stuffed full with his nerd diaries and the remnants of all the hero bentos that All Might keeps giving him?? or, just putting it out there, just a crazy thought, but you don’t suppose we might actually cut back to U.A.? mmm. side-eyes emoji

maaaaaan I’m starting to get tired of this trend of beginning chapters by dropping in on random power-tripping civilians and/or Shindou lol. just once can we get a chapter that opens with someone I actually give a fuck about

oh at least Endeavor is here

A WHAT SUPPORT ITEM!??! HOLY SHIT DDLKJSLFKJL

lol somehow that’s more terrifying than bullets for me?? like I’m fully aware that bullets will fuck you up way worse and that in real life nail guns probably don’t work like this AT ALL and only have a range of like... hold up let me just google... up to 100 to 150 m/s and distances of up to 500m wait WHAT

okay wait. hold up. like I was expecting google to tell me nail guns only shoot a few feet at most, and instead the first search result is some CDC blog article that’s “dispelling” the “””myth””” -- please note my repeated sarcastic quotation marks -- that nail guns can fire 1400 feet per second, by explaining that actually they can fire anywhere from 315 ft/sec to 1,295 ft/sec, and that “it is in the pneumatic nail gun user’s best interest to handle these tools as if they were a firearm despite having a lower velocity” dlkjdslkjflkl

SO THAT SCENE IN IRON MAN 3 WHERE TONY RAIDS A HOME DEPOT AND BUYS A BUNCH OF RANDOM TOOLS AND SHIT AND GOES ON TO STAGE A ONE-MAN INVASION OF AN INTERNATIONAL TERRORIST’S FLORIDA MANSION HQ IS ACTUALLY TRUE. YOU’RE TELLING ME THAT THE FILM “HOME ALONE” IS ACTUALLY A DOCUMENTARY. “the Discovery Channel television program “Mythbusters” compared the penetration capacity of an airborne projectile shot from a pneumatic framing nail gun to that of a 9mm hand gun” HELLO YES AND A MERRY “WHAT THE FUCK” TO YOU AS WELL

anyway, so. there’s apparently a reason why the Number One hero, who can burn people with the intensity of a sun going supernova, is hiding here behind this concrete support column making frowny faces. nope. nuh uh. he ain’t about that. I don’t blame you buddy

so now he’s barrel rolling out of his hiding place and setting this dude THE FUCK ON FIRE because HELL NO. BAD ENOUGH I HAD TO WATCH THAT FUCKING MUSHROOM EPISODE LAST WEEK! YOU TAKE THAT SHIT SOMEWHERE ELSE

LOL look at his face

I know the context is actually him being all “I know I’m responsible for basically everything that happened and so that’s why I’m so grim and serious about this mission to set things right piece by piece,” but in my mind this pissed-off face is 100% all because this dude tried to shoot his eye out with a nail gun. look at that. you made him go full flame face again. beard and all. protecting his face so that it can hopefully melt any stray nails that get too close. nope nope nope

good lord. so what’s up next. let me guess the guy fighting Best Jeanist has like an atomic chainsaw or some shit

lol nope we’re just cutting back to Hawks and Jeanist chilling in the Jesla after they’ve wrapped things up

Jeanist has got some serious Groot energy you guys jesus christ he’s like 12 feet tall

oh snap someone threw a pipe at him now

today is just the chapter of Endeavor being assaulted by random DIY tools I guess

I mean, I get why they’re pissed at him obviously; I would be too lol. but tbh I also don’t really understand the “get out of here we don’t want your help” attitude that all of these people suddenly seem to have?? like it if were me, I would be fucking DEMANDING for him and the other heroes to be working round the clock to fix their stupid mess. I mean who else is gonna do it?? it’s their mess, I sure don’t want to be the one to clean it up instead. anyways but whatever lol

oh shit?

so they haven’t dropped the whole “OFA secret potentially gets revealed to the world” thing yet after all. that makes sense I suppose, it did seem like that whole thing wound up playing out a bit too easily

anyway so yeah

the locals are definitely none too happy. well at least Dabi’s got something to be cheerful about I guess

so now we’re cutting to the interior of the Jesla and they’re chitchatting about the current investigation

oh wow this actually makes a bit of sense now. so there was a reason they were keeping their distance from Deku

please note that even in this abstract Endeavor’s-Mental-Image-Of-Him panel, Deku’s eyes still don’t have the light in them anymore :( my poor son

also ftr I still think using Deku as bait in this particular sense is the shittiest idea ever ngl. like sure, let’s let the sixteen-year-old run around battling miscellaneous escaped prison convicts while we stay several kilometers away ON PURPOSE despite the fact that you’re using him as bait to draw out the Big Bad, who just a reminder can destroy anything with a mere touch and who you were all basically helpless against. what exactly are you all planning to do if Tomura or one of the other League VIPs actually shows up to retrieve him?? are you even keeping tabs on him at all in real time?? jesus

(ETA: well that escalated quickly lol.)

Horikoshi is all of a sudden dropping whole pages of exposition here and I can’t be bothered to summarize this lol so just,

a big fat YES to what Jeanist said, though. that’s why imo they would have been better off laying a trap at U.A. rather than just wandering around out in the open. I assume they’re trying to cut their potential losses because U.A. is full of students (and civilians), but those students also happen to be more capable than pretty much anyone else in the manga at this point. and tbh they’re already in life-threatening danger regardless of how things play out from here on, so they might as well at least try to use the few advantages they have right now. U.A. is almost certainly going to come under siege at some point anyway, so they might as well prepare for it

lol I don’t think I’m explaining this very well because I don’t have the patience right now to break it down point by point like it really ought to be, so for now I’ll just say that imo “U.A. siege” stands a good chance of being the eventual endgame even now, and so this whole “Deku runs around being bait” arc is really just killing time until then lol. like and subscribe for more rambling nonsensical takes such as this. maybe next time I’ll even put it all into one single sentence for maximum meandering senior citizen rant value

well it’s nice that they’re finally talking about all of this I guess

we readers have known all of this for months now but this confirms the heroes are finally caught up. ALSO, Hawks is so fucking smart, as always. kinda wonder if things would have played out differently if All Might had let him in on the secret a bit earlier. probably that’s why Horikoshi made damn sure they didn’t find out until after the War arc lol

OH MY GOD YOOOOOO HAWKS OUT HERE ASKING THE REAL QUESTIONS

“anyone else wondering why AFO bothered to raise Tomura as his fake heir for fifteen years when he was secretly planning on taking over his body the whole time” YES, [raises hand] lmao Hawks where the hell were you when I was debating this “AFO is the final villain and Tomura is just his pawn” thing on multiple occasions over the past several years lol

lmao seeing them debate the metaphysics of OFA and all of its mystical bullshit is seriously surreal you guys

JEANIST HAVE YOU CHECKED OUT MY META TAG I HAVE WRITTEN SO MANY ESSAYS. I ACTUALLY WAS PLANNING ON WRITING ANOTHER ESSAY ABOUT THE THING THAT I’M PRETTY SURE HAWKS IS ABOUT TO BRING UP, BUT I NEVER GOT AROUND TO IT WHOOPS, BUT MAYBE I WILL NOW LOL LET’S SEE HOW IT GOES

yes!!

WHICH AFO FUCKING ENSURED HE WOULD BE BY LITERALLY PLANNING OUT EVERY LAST DETAIL OF HIS FAMILY TRAGEDY, FROM SECRETLY GIVING TENKO THE QUIRK TO MAKING SURE NO CIVILIANS OR HEROES WOULD HELP HIM UNTIL AFO FINALLY STEPPED IN. I’M 1000% CONVINCED THIS IS THE CASE YOU GUYS. NOT JUST BECAUSE I’M NOT A FAN OF “THE WORLD IS A FUNDAMENTALLY SHITTY PLACE, ACTUALLY” TAKES BECAUSE MISTER ROGERS TOLD ME TO ALWAYS LOOK FOR THE HELPERS, BUT ALSO BECAUSE IT LITERALLY JUST DOESN’T MAKE A LICK OF SENSE OTHERWISE. THEIR ENTIRE HOUSE CAVED IN FFS, YOU’RE TELLING ME NONE OF THE NEIGHBORS FUCKING OVERHEARD THAT SHIT AND WENT “UMMMMMMMMM” AND WENT TO SEE WHAT WAS GOING ON?? “DIDN’T THERE USED TO BE A HOUSE HERE, AND LIKE A WHOLE FAMILY, AND SHIT?”

LIKE I’M SORRY, BUT IT’S ONE THING TO SAY IT’S REALISTIC THAT NOT A SINGLE PERSON WOULD ATTEMPT TO HELP THE WANDERING TRAUMATIZED CHILD AFTERWARDS (WHICH I DISAGREE WITH AS WELL BUT AT LEAST THAT’S MORE SUBJECTIVE), AND IT’S A WHOLE OTHER THING TO ARGUE THAT IT’S REALISTIC THAT NO ONE WOULD BE FUCKING NOSY. LIKE THAT’S A WHOLE DIFFERENT LEVEL OF “THAT’S NOT HOW ANY OF THIS WORKS” ENTIRELY LOL. anyway tl;dr AFO is a piece of shit and Tomura’s entire worldview is based on a magnificently intricate and savagely cruel lie more at 11

anyway so after all that ranting it looks like that wasn’t even what Hawks was talking about after all lol. I just went off for absolutely no reason lol oh well. instead it seems that Hawks is suggesting that Tomura’s carefully cultivated hatred might not yet have actually reached “can defeat OFA” levels even after all of that trauma. interesting!

don’t mind me, I’m just sitting here while my brain furiously scrambles to put together all the parallels between Hawks and Tomura that it never noticed before until exactly this second. like I’m not even sure that was the intent here at all (I need to check out another translation or two lol), but regardless my mind decided that now would be the perfect time to make the connection between these two twenty-somethings who both had horrific childhoods and spent years being molded by their respective manipulative guardians, and developed eerily similar “laugh at everything because what else can you do” coping mechanisms to deal with it all hmmmmm

anyway so they were talking more about their strategy, but now all of a sudden Jeanist’s phone is beeping??

AND NOW WE’RE CUTTING AWAY TO ALL MIGHT AND HIS MIGHTMOBILE DAMMIT so that means the call to Jeanist was actually something important then!! WAS IT BAKUGOU OMG. DOES YOUR INTERN WANT A WORD FFFKLFSJK please it’s been so long I just need a little crumb or two to tide me over lmao have mercy

anyway so All Might’s following the GPS tracking device he’s apparently got planted on Deku (which in my conspiracy headcanons he’s actually had for a long time now, like since before DvK2 lol because HOW ELSE WOULD HAVE HAVE KNOWN THAT THEY WERE FIGHTING EACH OTHER IN GROUND BETA, PEOPLE) and thinking angsty thoughts about Deku’s sucky life

AND NOW ALL MIGHT’S PHONE IS RINGING TOO?? BAKUGOU HOW MANY PEOPLE ARE YOU CALLING. “WHERE ARE YOU HIDING THE NERD GODDAMMIT”

OMG

lol is he under attack or is he just finally giving All Might the slip like we all know he SECRETLY PLANNED TO ALL ALONG oh my poor dumb angstmuffin

OMG AHHHHHHH WHAT

DID ALL MIGHT JUST FUCKING DIE LMAO NO OF COURSE NOT, BUT WHAT

WHAT IS HAPPENING OMG

THE FUCK IS THAT. AT LEAST IT’S NOT A NAIL

OH IT’S A SPEAKER!! OMG DID THEY TAKE ALL MIGHT HOSTAGE

“THEY’RE HERE” WELP, TIME TO SEE JUST HOW SHITTY THIS SHITTY PLAN REALLY IS LOL

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

SHE!!!!

omg. AND OVERHAUL JUST CHILLING THERE IN THE BACKGROUND ALL “WHAT DO YOU EVEN WANT ME TO DO I’VE GOT NO FUCKING ARMS” YEAH GOOD RIDDANCE LOL

DOES THIS GIRL HAVE ONE GIANT LEG OR WHAT, LIKE WHAT’S THE DEAL HERE

-- HOLD UP WAIT, THE GUN IS HER ARM, HOLY SHIT SHE CAN TURN INTO A GUN -- OKAY HOLD UP BECAUSE I NEED TO SAY THAT IN BIGGER TEXT BECAUSE !!!!

YOU GUYS, THE COOL TARTARUS GIRL IS BACK AND HER QUIRK IS “CAN TURN INTO A FUCKING GUN.” THIS IS NOT A DRILL!! MY BEST GIRL MT. GUN IS FINALLY BACK ON THE SCENE WITH HER QUIRK “CAN DO ANYTHING A GUN CAN DO.” “I HEARD Y’ALL WENT AND NAMED ONE OF YOUR HEROES ‘GUNHEAD’ EVEN THOUGH HIS HEAD ISN’T EVEN A GUN, LIKE WTF IS UP WITH THAT LET ME SHOW YOU HOW IT’S DONE” DANG OKAY

lmao only fifteen pages this week, and STILL NO KACCHAN (THEN WHO WAS PHONE!!!), but man I don’t even care because finally we’ve got a cliffhanger that’s actually deserving of being a cliffhanger! hot dog. okay then

[lokischocolatefountain]

Reduced Sentence

Pairing: Loki x OFC

Rating: Teen and Up 

Word count: 3.5K

Part I, Part II

This is the unexpected Part II of Kitten from Hell. Can be read as a standalone fic, but it’s more fun to read Part I before this... 

Summary: The Kitten from Hell returns to torment him, and Loki's partner doesn't believe that he has the ability to communicate with animals.

Warnings: Swearing, a little smut (but no sex)

A/N: I was texting @deckerstar-trash​ about how wonderful it would be to talk to our pets and this happened...

She was drifting in and out of sleep, conscious one minute to her dreamlands the next. Next to her was the pup that took Loki’s place in his absence. She was afraid of sleeping in the living room all alone. They had tried to train her, but she regressed when Loki was called on an urgent mission to an unknown, secretive part of Asgard. The moonlight illuminated the pup, highlighting every detail of her soft fur. She absentmindedly caressed her fur and proceeded to slip back out of consciousness with a loving hand on the creature. 

They were the perfect picture of tranquility until a loud thud jerked her awake. It was followed by a whispered string of swear words. Still laying on her stomach, she moved herself to the edge of the bed, feeling for the baseball bat she always kept there. In her sleepy daze, however, she forgot to ensure Wiggle’s safety. He had somehow gotten out of the bed with his tiny, helpless, puppy legs and ran straight to the living room where the intruder was. She no longer had the option to wait for the right time to take the intruder by surprise. 

“Wiggle, hey! Did I wake you up, buddy?” 

The joyous barks, if not for the familiar voice, informed her that she had nothing to worry about. She huffed in annoyance at being woken up, abandoned the baseball bat and returned her limbs back under the warmth of her duvet. If he had woken up her last night in a similar fashion, she would have definitely used the weapon on him. Luckily for him, she had finally gotten some rest that day and hence not in a bad enough shape to destroy anyone who disrupted her beauty sleep. 

“Shh, shh! We must not wake her up,” Loki whispered, immediately quieting down the excited dog. 

It took a while for the two to come to bed. It warmed her heart when she noticed how careful Loki was to not wake her up as he changed into his pyjamas and climbed into his side of the bed. Her schedule was pretty erratic and he was always considerate to not disturb her when she rested. He took her hand that laid in between them and played with her fingers. For a man of enormous strength, he was incredibly gentle when he touched her. Loki’s comportment conveyed his yearning for her at having been deprived of her touch for so long, yet it somehow managed to show his considerate side as he restrained himself from inconveniencing her. Already tired of having let her fingers be still all this while, she reciprocated by entwining his with her own. Fingers interlocked with hers instinctively even before realisation struck him. 

“Hey,” she breathed in her still sleepy daze, continuing playing with his hand. Like being sprayed on with water, she was rudely brought to full attention by the God who pulled her to his side of their large bed. He crawled under the duvet and let his fingers slowly creep from her shoulder right to her hand. The tip of his pointed nose along with his warm breath on her neck combined to send a shiver down her spine when he nuzzled her. Early on in their relationship, his blatant breathing in of her scent made her shyly bury her face in her palms, but they were way past all that now. 

“You’re awake,” he said, his lips close enough to her skin for her to feel them on her as he spoke. 

“Barely…” 

“Did His Highness Wiggle Wagglesworth wake you up?” 

She laughed softly, still finding their Corgi’s name too funny. “No, it was you who woke me up, Your Highness Loki Odinson, Prince of throwing things loudly to awaken his girlfriend.” 

“My apologies, dear… Is forgiveness on the table?” 

“No way.” 

“Not even if I told you what was in the suitcase that woke you up? Not even if contains my armour that you found ‘hot as fuck’ when you went through old paintings of me? Hmm?” 

Her breathing quickened with memories of seeing him in an old armour that he didn’t use anymore- apparently it had gone out of fashion two decades ago. But, she desperately wanted to see him wear it just for her eyes. It was in no condition for him to wear when she asked him to and she had forgotten about it until now. 

He nipped her neck and she yelped before she involuntarily attempted to elbow him. It was unsuccessfully, as he was still holding her hand. 

“You could persuade me for a reduced sentence,” she said softly, employing a sultry tone. It made her cringe a little and she was anxious that he might laugh in her face, but his response conveyed otherwise. 

“I could…” 

She reverted to a normal, non-sexual tone to burst his bubble. “Yeah, tomorrow. With the armour on.” 

Tired from bifrsot travel, he gave in to her and their cozy duvet.

The next morning, Loki had singlehandedly completed all their chores and enthusiastically dressed himself in the old armour that managed to attract his partner’s attention. He didn’t know what she saw in it- or him, really- but he decided that whatever she wanted, she shall have. The day she showed interest in it and disappointment when he revealed that he no longer wore it, he rushed to his staff and ordered for it to be recreated to fit him with his changed dimensions. Initially, he waned to save it for a special occasion like a birthday or an anniversary, but then he was separated from her for a month, and decided that there was no occasion more special than when they were both unbelievably horny for each other. 

Clipping the cape on, he turned around to check himself out on the mirror. Goddamn, he looked good in it. His woman had great taste.

She stepped out of the bathroom, clad in his silk robes, when their doorbell rang. 

“I’ll get it,” he announced as he more or less stomped his way to their door. The robes could scare unsuspecting Midgardians, but he would rather a bunch of fools be frightened by him than see his woman look the way she did in his robes. Behind the door was not a poor unsuspecting Midgardian, but two.

Steve and Bucky stood with Fuzzy von Fluffykins and his luggage in hand. 

“I was not aware that he was coming over, today,” he said pointedly at the kitten who was encased in a sock. 

“We are so sorry, Loki. Our surrogate went into labor and Fuzzy’s sitter isn’t picking up our calls. I’m sorry to impose, but could you please, please take care of her until we come back,”  Bucky rambled. 

He should slam the door in the couple’s face. He did not like it one bit that they were taking advantage of his partner’s kindness and dumping their responsibilities on her. If they knew they could not handle caring for an animal, especially one so horrid, they should never have adopted one. But, they genuinely seemed to be in a tough predicament this time. So, he rolled his eyes and held his arms out for the creature as he prepared himself emotionally to deal with the insolent little thing. The men apologised again, thanked him, asked him to thank her and left in a hurry. 

He wasn’t exactly the ‘sex on legs’ she described him to be in the armour when she finally saw him in it. Who would be, when holding Fuzzy and his worn out bag of toys and cat food? The ties of her robe was undone, revealing her lingerie, and she was ready for their much anticipated activities. Her smile dropped in confusion when she saw Fuzzy with him. She definitely had a lot of questions, but it seemed she was not interested in any of them. 

“Okay, you’re going to set him down on that cushion and get your cute ass to the bedroom real quick.” 

“Oh, good!” He breathed in relief as he did what he was told and followed her into their room. It was an ego booster to know that she was attracted to him even after seeing him holding the dumpster cat.

He locked the door behind him as Wiggle had the bad habit of walking into the room whenever they were about to do it. It was as though she knew what they were going to do and stopped them intentionally. Maybe, she felt that they were trying to make a baby and it would result in reduced love and attention for her. So, she would follow them inside and stare at them. Loki had seen horrible things in his life that other hadn’t, but he had to confess that there was nothing creepier than staring into the eyes of you puppy when you’re having sex. 

“I have missed you so much…” he whispered, inching closer to her and backing her up against the wall. She reached out a hand, running her fingers over the bends and curves of the design on his armour. She traced her index finger on one such curve, inching slowly to his collar yet not touching him. As she was taking in the novelty of the armour, he moved her robe out of the way as he let his fingers slither to her back. Her breath hitched when he unclasped her bra, but it did not stop her from her admiration of him. 

She cupped his cheek and he hummed in satisfaction as he relaxed into her touch, his eyes closed on their own accord as his touch-starved body greedily lapped up her affections. He was finally home.

“You’re so beautiful, Loki.” 

Earlier, he believed that someday his heart would stop melting when she so openly appreciated him, but it was not today. It felt just as wonderful as the first time she ever told him that.

She saw the effect her words had on him, even when his eyes were closed. A whole beautiful God stood in front of her, wearing outdated clothes just because she asked for it, and he was all hers. He pulled against his body, and she pressed herself closer to him, the metal of his armour cold against her barely there lingerie. 

She looped an arm around his neck and stood on her tip toes to reach his lips while he carefully bent down to do the same. He was so gentle with her, so mindful of himself to not hurt her with his helmet. When their lips finally connected, it was bliss. 

Their long time apart had escalated their need for each other. Slow, soft pecks quickly turned into more as they pushed against each other in a desperate attempt to get closer to each other than they already were. Her robes lay forgotten and she might have even stepped on it a few times. Loki was awfully protective over his Asgardian silk clothing, but even he paid it no heed. Her hands hungrily roamed his body as she looked for a clasp or button or whatever the fuck she needed to undo to get to his body. She yanked his helmet off and threw it at the bed, grinning as she threaded her fingers through his soft hair and pulled, making him grit his teeth. In turn, she expect him to be more rough with her, but he ceased his ministrations abruptly. His grip on her loosened and he listened intently to something. 

His eyebrows furrowed and he focused on something intently. “Did you hear that?” 

“Hear what?” 

“The cat,” he said, untangling himself from her body. 

“No! Why are you ever listening to the cat now?” She asked, panting between breaths. 

“He said something!” 

“Oh, who cares what he meows-“ 

“Shhhh!” He said, raising his index finger. 

“What the fuck, dude!?” She whispered, confused by his sudden unusual behaviour. 

He gasped as though she said something to offend him, but with a delay of several seconds. It was almost as though it was a response to something said by someone else.

“That is it! He’s crossed the line!” Loki exclaimed before he angrily stormed out of the bedroom. Losing all hope of getting any, she hooked her bra, put the robe back on and followed him out to see what the fuss was all about. She found him in an intense stare down contest with Fuzzy von Fluffykins who tried to look more imposing than a squishy kitty could ever hope to be. 

“What did you say to Wiggle?” 

Meow

“Oh, I heard you loud and clear, you little demon!” 

Meow

“You are in my home and I will not have you, a useless miniature tiger, mock her under my roof.” 

Meow

“Oh, is that how it is now?” 

This time, the kitten meowed louder and Loki lost his shit. 

“How dare you!?” 

“Okay, if you don’t tell me what the fuck is going on right now, I’ll- I’ll-” She clearly hadn’t thought through this threat. “Tell me!” 

“He has been taunting and mocking Wiggle. He said she was a poor excuse for a dog, a failure in her basic function to humans due to her inability to protect us!” 

Meow

“It is not like you are of any use to humans! Wiggle here, provides companionship, plays games, fetches the newspaper every morning and she is younger than you are! You, however, are not just a waste of space, but a menace to society!” 

“Loki, that’s so mean! Stop it!” 

“I am not going to stand by and watch our as our puppy is bullied.” As though glad for the empathy, Wiggle cuddled up to his legs and Loki, being the caring pet owner he was picked him up and held him in his arms. The dog whimpered and Loki whispered words of reassurance as he cradled her. 

It seemed that all the non-humans in the room were in on something while she was completely out of the loop. It was exactly how she felt when they were around Thor and the two spoke of life experiences she was not a part of- those that happened before her great grandparents were born- and hence couldn’t understand. 

“He was just meowing! How did you get all that from meowing?” 

“His sounds are just meows to you, but I can understand them.” 

She raised her eyebrows in skepticism. What did he understand?

“Allspeak,” he said, waving his arm dismissively. 

“Wow, Oh My God. Really?” She knew that he could understand the millions of languages of the universe owing to Allspeak, but didn’t know that communicating with other creatures was a part of it.

“Yes,” he said, very casually as though he didn’t just confirm that he could Talk. To. Animals. Forget teleportation and cloning! This was his best ability. She began dreaming of all the things she could do with this special ability of his- she would finally know what dogs were thinking! She could tell everyone what dogs say when they were barking! It would be a blessing to humanity to finally understand what Man’s Best Friend really thought of them. She could- no, wait! 

He was messing with her! It was April Fool’s Day and he was feeding her shit about how he could communicate with animals. Last year, he told Thor that Crocs with socks and all denim outfits were the pinnacle of human fashion . The poor man walked around with no clue about why he was being stared at- more than usual, at least. 

“Okay, ha ha. You fooled me. Now, drop the act and come to bed.” 

“Act? Our puppy is hurt, honey.” He cuddled Wiggle closer to him as though she was out to get their puppy.

She pinched the bridge of the nose and let of a frustrated sigh. “I usually enjoy you April Fool’s Day pranks, but not when it involves you abandoning me after making me all hot and bothered.” 

“You think this is my prank?” He scoffed mockingly, “Oh, please! I have something big planned for tonight- involving mayonnaise and duct tape. Moreover, why would I fake a conversation with that abominable creature when I could choose the obviously favourable alternative of not talking to him.” 

“This is all shady,” She said, shaking her head. There was something going on. The kitten wasn’t even supposed to be here. “Why is Fuzzy even here? Bucky didn’t tell me anything about dropping him off. You set this up!” 

“Once again, woman, why would I intentionally put myself in close quarters with Fuzzy? I let him stay only because James and Steven dropped by with the creature and basically begged me to take care him. Their surrogate called and they had to leave town immediately.” 

“She’s giving birth?” She vaguely recalled Steve saying that the baby was due this month, but had forgotten about it completely.

“I do not recall. I was too focused on getting back to you to think about babies.” 

“I’m going to call them and check.” 

“You don’t trust me?” 

When she didn’t respond, and proceeded to text Bucky, Loki grew disappointed. 

“I’m taking Wiggle on a walk.” He mumbled before he left, still carrying the dog. He didn’t even bother to take Wiggle’s leash. 

After he left, she got the confirmation that Buck and Steve’s surrogate was indeed in labor. She congratulated the couple, changed into comfortable pyjamas and sulked on the couch with the kitten chewing on his toys next to her. She felt bad for not believing Loki when he told her about the baby and texted him her apology, hoping he would come back. She was however met with the ding of his phone which sat on the dining table. He didn’t have the habit of taking his phone with him when he went outside. It was understandable as he was not human and found no need for it, but annoying in situations such as this. 

The doorbell rang and she excitedly ran up to it, but was disappointed to find the wrong Odinson brother. 

“Hello, sister! Is Loki here?” 

“No, he just left, actually. Took Wiggle on a walk.” 

“Oh,” he said, sounding disappointed. 

“Is it something important?” 

“Yes. I came to collect my things. Long back, he stored my gifts for Jane in his pocket dimension. I forgot to get them from him and it’s her birthday next week.” 

“You could wait for him,” she said, gesturing to the sofa. He gave her his usual wide smile and headed to the sofa before he stopped in his tracks. He shrieked a very manly shriek and dragged her, putting her between himself and the sofa.

“Odin’s beard! Why didn’t you tell me he was here?” 

“Oh, Fuzzy? Loki and I are just taking care of him for a while until Steve and Bucky come back.” 

“I have to go, sister!” 

That was so silly! It was like the Odinsons had something against adorable, fluffy kittens. Were cats antagonised in their culture? Did they have a bad shared experience with one? She grabbed him by his wrist and stopped him from leaving. She had to know what this was about.

“It’s okay, Thor! He’s just a lil’ kitty. He won’t hurt you,” she reassured, but the tall, muscley God refused to forsake her as a human shield. She could feel his fear from the tight grip he had on her shoulders.

“He called me a big, dumb idiot with an empty skull the last time I met him!” 

“What? Did Loki put you up to this?” She asked, suspicious of his behaviour. Last year, she was in on Loki’s prank on Thor. So, it was possible that they were pranking her together. 

“No, why would he do that?” 

“Okay, be truthful. Can you actually communicate with animals?” 

“Yes, of course. Allspeak was a compulsory class for us, growing up.” As far as she knew, Thor was not capable of putting up an act for so long without breaking into laughter. He really was telling the truth…

“Shit! I have to go!” 

Thor tried to stop her and said something about being too afraid to be left alone with the creature, but she had no time to listen to him as she hurried out with her phone and purse. 

Thankfully, they had fitted Wiggle with a GPS collar, worried that he might get lost what with his habit of wandering off. So, she didn’t have to look for them everywhere. When she reached the park, she spotted Loki who was now wearing a black shirt and pants- his default when he got changed using magic. He was sat on a park bench while a couple of children played with Wiggle who was having the time of her life with all the attention being directed towards her. Loki constantly had his eyes on the pup, probably anxious that the children might hurt his precious creature. 

She was the first to speak as she sat by him. 

“I’m sorry. I really thought you were pranking me.” 

He turned to look at her, but said nothing. He was still mad at her, but let her loop her arm around his and lean on him with her head on his shoulder, so all wasn’t lost. The physical contact must’ve softened him because he suddenly looked at her and smiled his sweet, boyish smile that others rarely saw. 

“You could persuade me for a reduced sentence.”

[margoshansons]

Desperate Measures: 2/?

Part Two: Bellamy Blake x Reader

Summary: Unable to sleep, Miller and Y/N celebrate her birthday with some contraband moonshine, Clarke and Finn come back bearing bad news, and things come to a head between Y/N and Bellamy as they search for Jasper.

Warnings: swearing, violence, mild angst, 

Notes: Thank you for all the love! Also, goddamn that gif is beautiful. Based on 1x02 “Earth Skills”

She didn’t sleep at all that night. Instead, Miller snuck her into Monty’s tent, the kid who left with Jasper, he explained. 

“This kid makes the best moonshine I’ve ever tasted.” He explained, scratching at the patchy facial hair that had started to grow in. 

Y/N couldn’t help but laugh at the petty thief. Monty wasn’t even here, probably out trying to get his poor friend laid, but Miller still felt the need to sneak into his tent as if he would get punished for it.

“Isn’t this the Monty you had a crush on in fifth grade?” She asked, coughing down what Miller had now dubbed ‘birthday juice’. 

“Yeah, so?”

Y/N shrugged before taking another gulp, regretting it as the sun began to peek through the opening in the tent. “Ugh, we should get ready before Bellamy starts clanging the pots to get us to work.” She rolled her eyes at the thought of the older leader, annoyance erupting in her stomach as she recalled the events of last night. She pushed herself off the leafy ground, wiping the dirt off her hands as she stood.

“You know he’s not that bad once you get to know him” Miller offered, stuffing the canteen back under Monty’s bed while Y/N shrugged on her jacket. “I knew him a bit before I got arrested, he’s actually a pretty awesome guy.”

She smirked, resisting the urge to roll her eyes, “This is why I love you, Miller.”

“Because I can get you free alcohol and sneak you into places you’re not supposed to?” His eyebrow twitched upward as he smiled. Y/N holstered her makeshift knife in the band of her jeans, patting Miller’s shoulder. “Because you see the best in people, even little shits like Bellamy.”

As the two exited the tent to catch the first earthen sunrise in over ninety-seven years, Miller would not stop trying to defend the older kid. “I just don’t know why you won’t give him a chance. I think you guys would actually have a lot in common if you just talked to him.”

Y/N spun around, trying not to offend one of her best friends, “Look, Nate, I love you but Bellamy insulted my own family and personal life last night, not to mention him and Murphy don’t even care about the progress of this camp. He and I will never get along, now drop it.”

Miller nodded, the two teens watching the black sky fade into soft colors beyond their imagination. Pink, orange, and yellow stretched across the sky until they all mixed together to create the crystalline blue they had dreamed so long about seeing. 

“Now that you’re eighteen, what are you gonna do?” Nate asked, spreading himself out on the grass to watch the sky morph. Y/N joined him, her ponytail pressing against her skull as she thought it over.

“I don’t know.” She confessed, weight lifting off her shoulders as she played with the silver band around her other wrist, “Sinclair had promised me an apprenticeship back on Mecha, guess that’s off the table.”

A chuckle lifted both of them from their tired night. 

Y/N smiled, contemplating the possibilities. “I guess...I’m a free woman. I can do anything. I can do anyone.” She chuckled at her wordplay, Miller suddenly growing silent. She recognized that behavior. He was trying to find the right words to say something.

“What is it?”

“Your dad” Miller asked gingerly. “Do you think he would’ve floated you?”

She inhaled sharply, her mind racing at a thousand miles a minute as she tried to come up with a probable answer. Her gut told her no. Even if they didn’t share blood, she had to believe a part of him hurt when she had been taken away. But then she remembered the cold gaze in his eyes when he had wrapped the handcuffs around her wrists and, like most situations, her head won out. 

“Probably.” She breathed, the words tasting sour in her mouth. “I was a liability, someone who knew the two biggest secrets aboard the Ark. What better way to shut me up then to float me like my mother?”

Silence filled the space between them.

She continued her argument, more to convince herself than the thief beside her.

“Logically it makes sense, and Kane has always been motivated by logic.”

Miller sat up, turning on his side to face her, a regretful look passing through his eyes, “I’m sorry Y/N, I didn’t mean to bring it up. I guess, I just hoped--”

“I know what you meant Miller.” Y/N mirrored his position, placing a hand on his arm, letting him know his mistake was forgiven. “But that man is not my father. Of course, my real dad wasn’t much better.” 

The two friends shared another laugh until a scream ruined the moment between them. They launched to their feet, sprinting back to the clearing just in time to see Wells tackle Murphy to the ground. 

Emotions disappeared behind a steel wall as Y/N approached the two, ready to separate them again. 

“Hey! That’s enough,” She called, struggling against the raw strength of the boys. “HEY! I said that’s enough!”

She ripped the darker-skinned boy off the other delinquent, ready to defend Wells against another tirade of Murphy’s. “What happened?” Wells breathed heavily, a shaky finger pointing at the paler boy. “He was holding Roma over the fire, I tried to stop it and he attacked me.”

A sneer crossed Murphy’s face as he shuffled forward, launching toward Wells. Y/N reached underneath her shirt grasping the makeshift knife and brandishing it as Bellamy pushed Murphy back. 

“Murphy enough!” Bellamy stopped the delinquent, throwing a look of contempt her way. Her chest heaved up and down in an attempt to calm the anger rising in her throat.

“Crazy bitch” she heard Murphy whisper under his breath as Bellamy talked him down. 

She refused to put down the knife. 

Her hand was extended before her, guarding Wells in case Murphy tried to take him down again, which, from the hateful glare in his eyes, he was definitely thinking about. 

“What the hell is going on?” Clarke asked, mouth wide open. Y/N took a mental note of the campers who had returned. 

Four. One missing. 

No food.

Octavia was limping. 

“Murphy attacked Wells” Y/N responded, shoving her knife back into her jeans, trying to figure out what they had seen out there. “Are you okay?” She asked the group of returning prisoners, the group doubling over and panting from the run back. Finn’s eyes held a seriousness she hadn’t seen since he had been arrested. He shook his head.

“What happened to your wristband?” Clarke asked, rushing over to Wells and grasped his wrist. His empty wrist.

Wells shot a dirty look at Bellamy, Y/N followed suit. 

“Ask him”

Clarke strode over, anger increasing with each step as her brow furrowed, jaw clenching. “How many?” Bellamy was silent, cut off by Murphy’s proud: “Twenty-four and counting.” The freshly pummeled delinquent sent a glare toward Y/N as he said that, smiling at their growing statistics. She resisted the urge to tackle him then and there. One, because he had more strength than her, and because Miller’s words from yesterday rang in her head. 

He wasn’t worth it. 

“You idiots!” Clarke spat, “Life support on the Ark is failing!”

The kids began to murmur again as they realized that what Y/N had been saying last night was actually true and they were fighting a losing battle. Hushed tones began to wonder about the possibility of survival.

“Where’s the kid with the goggles?” Wells asked, suddenly realizing the low amount of returning campers. 

“We were attacked, and Jasper was taken.” 

Y/N’s chest constricted, breathing accelerating. Her body grew still, all of her fear carefully hidden behind the mask of stone she wore on her face. Down here fear is death.

“Attacked?” She asked, confusion crossing her face while she crept forward to join the exhausted group.

“Turns out when the last man from the Earth died on the Ark, he wasn’t the last grounder” Finn spoke ominously, shifting his gaze toward Clarke, apprehension on both of their faces.

“That means we can survive” Y/N spoke up, trying to remain optimistic, “Radiation won’t kill us.”

“But the grounders will” Clarke finished, eyes flickering toward her wrist, relieved to see Y/N still had her wristband on, retreating further into the camp as Bellamy knelt next to Octavia. 

Panicked whispers began to grow around the camp, spreading like a wildfire at the thought of other humans attacking one of their own. 

She flipped her attention away from the dissipating crowd back to the sibling duo. Something tugged on her heartstrings, almost as if the helpless look on Bellamy’s face was asking for someone else to step in. 

What little medical experience she had she learned from her mother and helping Clarke study for the doctoral exams. So it wasn’t much, but she knew how to wrap a wound and that was enough for now.

Y/N moved forward, palms open in an olive branch as she asked to inspect the wound. 

“Why?” Bellamy asked, guard up, “So you can make another sarcastic remark about us?” “Bell…” Octavia spoke softly, her nod enough consent to inspect the bleeding gash in her leg. 

“The good news is that it looks okay.” Y/N responded, cleaning the wound as best she could and retying the bandage, “The bad news is that I am not a qualified professional so take that with a grain of salt.” 

Octavia burst into giggles at the joke, Y/N’s chuckles mixing with the younger girls laughter. 

All Bellamy could do was stare. 

“We’re headed to find Jasper.” Clarke appeared from nowhere, toting Finn and Wells behind her. “We could really use you out there Y/N.”

“Try and stop me.” The engineer smiled, patting the knife on her side, her mind drifting to the scientific journal buried in her pocket, each page containing endless useful information about their unknown home.

Octavia struggled to stand up, “I’m coming too.”

“Forget it” Bellamy ordered, pushing her back down “You’re staying here.”

Octavia looked like she was about to protest until Clarke stepped in. “He’s right, your leg will just slow us down anyway.”

Y/N faced the reckless teen. “I’ll try and find something to use on your leg when I get back.”

Octavia shot a grateful look at the engineer, grasping tightly to the log she was sitting on. 

“I’m here for you” Clarke turned her attention to Bellamy, catching everyone in the vicinity by surprise. “I hear you have a gun.”

Bellamy lifted up his shirt, exposing the pistol stuck into the band of his jeans. Y/N scoffed internally, of course, he would have a gun. Of all the kids in the camp, he was the one with the firearm?

They must really be screwed.

“Good” Clarke began to move out, “Follow me.”

“Why would I do that?”

Clarke’s face pulled back in surprise, “because you want them to follow you, and right now they’re thinking only one of us is scared.”

Bellamy paused for a full beat before grabbing Murphy and following the group out of camp. Y/N rolled her eyes internally as the attacker joined their party, the group heading out into the same woods that had swallowed up Jasper not too long ago. 

“Let’s split up” Finn suggested, sending an incredibly unsubtle look toward Clarke. 

Wells gulped, stepping forward protectively, “I’ll go with Clarke.”

“No!” Clarke jumped in, a resentful look on her face, “Stay with Y/N.” The blonde shifted her gaze before following after the spacewalker. 

“Clarke wait!” She ran after the blonde, grasping her hand incredulously. “You’re just going to leave me with him?”

“You know the most about this place” She rationalized, gaze flickering to her pocket, “someone has to take care of those three” She flicked her gaze back at the trio, “Besides you get along better with him than I do.”

“You know that’s not true.”

Clarke smiled, tearing her hand out of Y/N’s grip. “You’ll be fine, now go.”

She nodded, swallowing the irritation into her stomach as she trudged through the greenery, unable to enjoy the beauty of the planet surrounding her due to the arguing behind her. She could feel eyes watching her every move, although she wasn’t quite sure if it was Bellamy or Murphy. 

The annoyance continued to build and twist until Bellamy spoke for the first time since leaving Camp.

“Must suck to be in love with someone who doesn’t know you exist.” He taunted Wells. 

“Shut up Bellamy.” The teen responded.

“I’m just saying” Bellamy continued, “with Finn around it’s like she doesn’t even see you.”

Y/N rolled her eyes, irritation pooling at the stupidity of the argument, “Can you guys finish your pissing contest later? I’m trying to concentrate.”

She pushed forward, her movements halting as Bellamy grasped her bicep, keeping her in place as his hand trailed down her forearm, landing on the steel wristband surrounding her hand. 

“Take this off and I’ll consider doing whatever you say.”

A laugh escaped her mouth involuntarily, catching the leader off guard. She ripped her wrist out of his enormous palm, tilting her chin upward to meet him in the eye. “You want the Ark to think I’m dead? Kill me first.”

“Believe me, it’s not for a lack of trying” Murphy interjected, crossing his arms, a sneer growing on his face as he recalled the events of the morning.

“You know what Blake?” Y/N had reached her breaking point, annoyance bubbling over until she couldn’t handle it anymore. “You can play leader all you want, but don’t pretend it’s for anything other than your own selfish motives.” The words flowed from her brain straight to her mouth, filter forgotten. “You can pretend it’s for your sister, or for some higher purpose but I know the truth. You’re just a scared kid afraid of getting in trouble because he did something the adults wouldn’t pardon him for.”

His jaw clenched at the accusation. 

She had found his weak spot.

Y/N smiled dangerously.

“So go ahead, play leader, hide behind your sister, hell, you can even pretend to see through me, it doesn’t change the fact that I. See. Through. You.”

Her thin finger poked his chest, emphasizing her point further. The guard grabbed the limb in his hand, eyes flickering from Y/N’s face to the bracelet.

Tense silence stood between the two, broken only by Clarke’s voice calling them forward, claiming to have discovered new tracks. 

“Jasper!” Clarke called, running toward the low moaning, Y/N following soon after. The tracks exited into a clearing, a bare tree standing in the middle, Jasper’s limp body tied against the bark.

“Jasper hang on!” Y/N called, searching the ground for a safe way to the tree, ignoring Clarke’s stride forward. “Clarke wait--”

The ground collapsed beneath her, spikes awaiting the kids beneath the trap, Bellamy’s arm the only thing keeping Clarke tethered to the world above. Finn and Wells hurried to pull the two delinquents up, Bellamy still entranced by the trap before him.

“They knew we were coming” Y/n murmured, “That’s why they kept him alive.”

Finn and Murphy moved forward, as the three remaining teens brandished what weapons they held, ready to fight off whatever grounders awaited them. Instead, they were greeted with a low growl and shivering grass.

“Bellamy,” Y/N warned, eyes never leaving the green stalks, “Now would be a good time to take out that gun.”

He nodded, hand moving to the hem of his shirt, ready to fire at whatever awaited in the grass. It only took a second for the panther to lock eyes on one of them. 

“Bellamy,” She warned, pulse quickening, “Now.”

The older boy nodded, hand grasping for the hilt, only to meet empty air. 

Gunshots rang out from Wells’ hand, forcing the panther back into the grass, Y/N’s eyes scanning the edges near her and Bellamy, watching for the slightest quiver.

Instead, she caught the slightest glimpse of black, the flickering of a tail slowing right near Bellamy. 

“Bellamy watch out!” Her heart took over her head, and she jumped in front of the taller kid, pushing him behind her as she braced herself for impact, a gunshot silencing the panther once and for all.

Her breathing grew ragged, eyes locked firmly on the dead animal at her feet, refusing to register any words other than Bellamy’s simple, “Now she sees you.”

His face dropped, mouth hanging open in an ‘o’ as his eyes threatened to bug out of his head. It was the perfect mirror image of Clarke’s, unable to believe someone he hated had risked their life to save his. Unable to believe someone thought he was worth saving.

But Y/N never saw his face.

***

Try as he might, Bellamy could not tear his gaze from Y/N. 

She sat with Clarke and Finn, refusing to take off her bracelet, sharing with the two other delinquents. 

The three people who kept challenging his position in the camp.

The three people he needed to deal with quickly. 

And yet...

He wanted to thank her. To go over and offer his piece of the panther as a peace offering for saving his life. To start a truce. 

She was smart. She was the top engineer back on the Ark. She could offer a lot. 

But she was right.

She saw right through him, and he couldn’t have that.

Ooooh, what’s this? A medium burn again? Perhaps, or perhaps I’m fooling you all, who knows?

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[caroline18mars]

A Man On Fire - Chapter 42

Awwwwawwww, sweet mother of Jesus, her head hurt, slowly she tried to sit up, impossible, no, stay down..was it..had it really..? oh yes..she curled back up like she wanted to disappear into the couch, tears bubbled up instantly as reality caught up with her. Why does this hurt so much? I was never gonna cry over some guy..stop trying to tell yourself that he's not some guy, that he's Jared..bullshit, he was just another jerk with a Dorian Gray complex, the only one that mattered to him was himself, nobody had a career like he did, right?. Well, fuck him, coffee, I need coffee, she slowly plodded over to the kitchen, “Are you gonna make coffee, get me one too will ya?” Sean yawned behind her, “why don't you go fuck yourself, Sean?” she bit back, filling the machine with water. “I don't have to” he grinned that foul grin again, just go away, can't you take a hint?, “which reminds me, me and some guys are going to this club tonight? why don't you come along?” he sat down on the other side of the kitchen counter, studying her every move. “Fuck's sake Sean, how do you expect me to go clubbing, when I can't even get through an hour..of this pain?” she shook her head, switched on the machine and turned to get a cup, she felt his eyes burn on the bare piece of stomach that crept from under her T-shirt as she stood on her toes to reach for her favorite cup. “It'll take your mind off that exact same pain, come on, it'll be fun, just a couple of hours, think about nothing, keep your glass full and your mind empty, what do you say?” he puppy-eyed her. “I'm saying you need to get the hell out of here, Sean, I don't trust you anymore, you're just as bad as that blue-eyed fucker in Europe, I don't trust either of you, so just get the hell out of my apartment and leave me the fuck alone” she raised her voice at him, her dark eyes burning holes in his soul. “Fine..do whatever the hell you want, I'm only trying to help ya, but don't ever compare me to that Jesus lookalike again, ok? We're not even one bit alike, oh and don't say I didn't warn you about him, I told you he was trouble, but no, madam here wouldn't listen..and look where all that attitude got you now?” he hissed as he slid off his chair again “if you change your mind, this is where we'll be” throwing a card of some club on the counter, he spun on his heels and slammed the door behind him. Phew, good riddance, fuckin dumbass...she poured herself a cup of strength and ever so slowly walked over to the middle of the room, staring at the giant painting that started all this mess..awful, godfuckinawful, get rid of it, cut it up to shreds, anything, just destroy it and go find yourself a real job!

Oh come on lady, surely you can check my passport quicker than that? Jared tried not to get agitated, despite the fact that he was jetlagged, hadn't slept a wink on the plane and to top it all off, she hadn't even bothered to reply. “Welcome to New York, sir, have a pleasant stay” the customs officer handed him his passport back but he didn't even hear the last part as he fled to the exit. Her address..he could walk straight over there but the name always escaped him, ok look through her mails..ok no, too stressed out for that, fine, then think! It was a white building..streetstreetstreet..C..no..housenumber fifty...four, right 54..taxi...54 something street..fuck's sakes, call Sean..nope, too much pride for that! “Where to, Sir?” the driver barely looked over his shoulder. “Uhmm, 54..Christopher..yes, 54 Christopher Street, please” he leaned back all relieved that he remembered the address, the driver put the car into gear and drove off into the dark, electric New York night. She'd been sitting on the top level of the scaffolding for hours, what had changed? Nothing, this painting was still absolute nonsense..and she still missed him like crazy. Slowly she pushed herself up, and jumped down the scaffolding with a painful groan, outta here, suffocated, going nuts, she grabbed her leather jacket, pushed some money and a bank card in the pocket of her jeans and ran out the door before she could change her mind. Hard thumping beats, stuttering strobes, escape central, escape from her mind that she was stuck in, “Harper!” really? How was it possible that he could actually overpower  this wall of sound and actually find her in the middle of this huge crowd. “You actually came, what do you want to drink?” Sean kissed her cheek, uggh, just get away from me, “I don't care, anything that'll get me hammered as quickly as possible” she pulled away from him, he deserved the disgusted, painful look on her face. “Coming up” he grinned and pushed himself a way through the swaying, dancing crowd while she wiped a secret set of tears away before she too pushed herself through the crowd to find her spot on the dancefloor, turn that goddamn music up, I want my ears to bleed, and I want my stomach to cling to my spine, as long as I don't have to feel this unbearable pain that is suffocating me.

Jared jumped out of the car, throwing way too much money at the driver, his hand trembled when his finger looked for her name on the various doorbells, 'Harper Coco' his heart jumped in his throat just looking at that beautiful name and pushed down hard on the button. He ran a hand through his long hair and pulled it up in a bun while he waited..and waited..ring it again..anxiously he looked up, had she seen him? No, not possible, she had the top loft at the back and all she had was a huge sky window. Come on babe..please, open up..ok..right, desperate calls for desperate measures, he pushed a random buzzer, fingers crossed someone opened..'buzzzzzzzzzz' just like that the front door opened for him, and he rushed in, taking three steps at a time flying up the stairs. “Harper? Babe?” he banged his fist on the door, getting no immediate response, he put his ear against the door, “babe?” still nothing, fuckfuckfuck, ok she had to be somewhere, but where?. “Bottoms up” Sean handed her two double whiskeys “you asked for 'hammertime' “ but before he could finish his sentence she had already downed one glass without even blinking. The second glass disappeared even faster than the first, and this time she pushed the glass back in his hands with a light groan and a couple of dollarbills “keep 'em comin'” before she lost herself to the thumping beats. The third and the fourth drink had her feeling nothing, by the fifth and the sixth she was getting comfortably numb, but it was only by the seventh that the drink was finally kicking in and calmed her racing, painful brain and lessened the tight grip that had her heart in a painful clutch. All that mattered was getting as drunk or high as possible and dance to keep the dark thoughts at bay, “easy babe! The night and you are too young to get absolutely wasted too fast too soon” she felt Sean's hands slide over her waist as he swayed to the music with her, holding her tightly against him. “I just asked you to get me drinks, not to put your hands on me, don't touch me, I'm not telling you again” she jumped out of his embrace and danced away into the crowd again, glaring at him, yeah you go take that booty call, I just feel sorry for that poor girl on the other side of the line, this type of guys, Mr. wannabe rockstar, included, could kiss her brokenhearted, sorry ass.

Half an hour later, she really needed to cool down, a drink and definitely a cigarette or two, where was the terrace in this joint, ah stairs, whoaaa room spinning a bit, deep breath, focus, ok, go away, let me through. Too frikkin crowded, she exhaled deeply as she pushed open the door to the terrace to find it empty except for two guys who sat on the other end, the cold air hit her hard and basically dropped her back into the dark pit of reality. She walked to the edge of the terrace where she had an amazing view on the New York skyline, this was her home, not some boot-shaped country on the other side of the ocean that held nothing but bad memories. Fishing a cigarette out of her purse, she lit up and folded her arms over her chest and let the smoke caress her face, what a mess..what a fuckin' mess, she closed her eyes as the images of all the turmoil started rolling. “Hey sweetheart, got another smoke?” a voice doomed up behind her, she turned to see the two guys walk up to her from the other side of the roof, “I'm not your sweetheart, and no I don't, that was my last one” she lied and turned away from them again. “Tsskkk, such a beautiful chick, damn shame about the attitude” one of the men came a little closer, trying to intimidate by towering over her, and it was working..ok, you're just drunk, try to keep a cool head, all you have to do is line up your knee with his crotch if he gets even closer. “Get lost” she hissed as she took a small step back, ugghh she could even smell this guy's foul breath, that's how close he was, “excuse me?” he closed the distance again, uh-oh, definitely trouble “what did you say? ain't nobody telling me to get lost, why are you being such a little bitch?”. A hand roughly clamped down on her face, “get your hands off me” she growled and quickly lifted her knee but he was quicker and slammed it down again before he and his friend launched forward, their grabbing hands all over her, feeling her up while she was being sandwiched between them, please god no, noooo, she kicked and screamed but she just didn't stand a chance against these two punks. She pushed and shoved until she had no more defense left and had to let these abusive hands touch, rip and squeeze, gasping for air she had no more voice left to scream and big tears of fear and helplessness started rolling down her cheeks.

Just when she felt her shirt rip at the seams, there was a sudden commotion and a shift in pressure , like turbulence, “take your fuckin' hands off her” half conscious and completely overwhelmed, but his voice rang loud and clear in her ears. A loud and unbearable crack like bone breaking, a fist that made some very brutal contact with a face, she felt herself getting shoved back real fast, losing her balance she tumbled to the ground. “Touch her again and you're a dead man” he yelled at one of the guys that lie groaning on the floor before he turned his attention to her and rushed to her side “Harper, you ok?” he breathed and tried to assess the damage. Everything hurt right now, especially his touch “leave me alone..” she swatted at his hands that wanted to help while she tried to get up on her own strength without much success. “Come here” ignoring her plea, he helped her back to her feet “let's get out of here” he put her arm over his neck and folded his arm tightly around her waist before her intoxicated mind could actually process what was going on. The minute they came down the stairs, Sean came walking up to them “what happened?” he looked at his semi-conscious friend that was hanging in Jared's arms, “is she ok?” he shouted over the music. “what do you think? I'm taking her home”.

[legendary-nerds]

right hand man

a half-baked plance fic idea from yours truly  

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

basically, the idea is that after the paladins fought sendak, somewhere near the end of the battle (i’ll explain how in a second, i promise) pidge loses an arm. she’s okay, for the most part, but until the garrison can get her a prosthetic with a hand capable of what pidge needs to do (coding, close/mid range combat, video games) she needs help. she finds that help in lance, who is just trying his best. 

basically, when keith killed sendak, his prosthetic wasn’t quite out of power yet. so it was basically twitching and moving on it’s own while sendak’s corpse was following the stages of decay. morbid? yeah. but stay with me. 

essentially, after the battle, pidge and some garrison techs took sendak’s body to the lab to ‘turn off’ the galran arm and study it.

it didn’t go well.

pidge what happened in the moments before. 

sendak’s arm glowing bright purple and swinging around in attack mode. the screams from the poor garrison kids tasked with helping her out. her own screams as the glowing hand sliced though her bicep.

from there, it was a blur. she could remember the cold linoleum floor, and someone screaming her name as they picked her up from the same cold linoleum and ran for the nearest health bay.

there was a lot of blood.

when she came to, she was alone. 

a nurse came in as soon as it was known that she was up again, of course. but when pidge reached for the hospital grade cup of orange juice, her arm didn’t move with her.

when she looked to her right side, all she could do was start to cry because there is no limb there and she could’ve sworn there was a limb there when she went to sleep, what happened?

shiro came in soon after to let her know what went down, and pidge didn’t stop crying until her family showed up. 

together the holts and shiro helped pidge through her shock until she could calm down a little bit. because hey, she was one limb short, but she was alive. and it never stopped shiro, right? 

after the shock, she realized that having one arm sucked. 

she needs help getting used to everything, but she hates asking for it. her family is usually around, and she knows that they want to help, but she can’t do anything, and it makes her feel helpless for the first time in a while. 

hunk tries to cheer her up with actual earth food, but it just reminds her that she can’t use utensils with her non-dominant hand. she almost feels bad for how much time hunk’s spending with her, since he could be with shay. 

she asks him to cut her food, and it’s embarrassing, but with hunk it’s a little less embarrassing.

hunk and shay sometimes visit together and they’re so sweet pidge thinks she’s gonna stay in the hospital when she gets type 2 diabetes from these nerds.

shiro takes off his new, shiny, altean arm when he’s with her (to show solidarity) and just kind of hangs out with her in between atlas meetings. pidge likes spending time with shiro a lot, it feels just as natural as before. they talk a lot about pet peeves,

“everyone looks at where your arm was like if they stare hard enough, they can grow it back for you.” 

“ugh i know! like, they mean well, but god, thanks for the reminder buddy! i’d wave if my hand wasn’t busy!”

their morbid jokes really unsettle the nurses but it feels good for pidge to laugh. 

keith doesn’t say much but he just hangs out and watches tv with her. it’s all pidge wants really. hanging out with keith is normal, until he remembers the situation. then it’s just funny.

while you’d think he’d be a natural, he wasn’t around to help shiro adjust since he was, you know, on a galra ship.

one time pidge woke up to keith swiping his hand under her stump, almost to verify that the limb wasn’t there and it was the funniest goddamn thing pidge had ever seen. he was so stunned.

keith is trying his best, and pidge loves him for it. 

allura and coran stop in all the time to give her updates on her new hand, but it’s taking longer than expected.

allura likes to help pidge do her hair or paint her nails, and one time without thinking, she asked if pidge would get manicures at half price.

pidge pointed out that she doesn’t really want to get manicures from anyone but allura, and the princess’s smile was a mile wide. it made pidge feel all warm to know that allura was happy. 

she doesn’t really see anything wrong with pidge’s unpredicted amputation.

coran keeps trying to encourage a balmera to “grow number 5 a crystal!” for her new altean arm but shay has to remind him it doesn’t work like that, and just because he rubs the balmera’s surface doesn’t make it work faster. it’s a valiant effort though, and coran always assures pidge that she’ll have a new, better arm “in a jiffy”.

and then there’s lance.

pidge and lance were used to hanging out before, but ever since pidge lost her arm, there’s been a rift. they hang out in pidge’s hospital room all the time, and he’s always okay getting pidge junk food from the vending machine by the receptionist’s desk, but something’s off. 

pidge eventually asks him what’s wrong. 

“it’s weird, i guess?”

“lance, that’s the dumbest shit i’ve ever heard. why are you acting like me without an arm is weird?”

“because i’m pretty much the only reason you don’t have your dominant hand anymore!” 

“lance, that’s even more dumb. what on earth are you talking about?”

“i saw sendak’s arm start to flip out. i saw it start to glow but you weren’t looking, and my keycard wasn’t fast enough so i couldn’t get in, and the techs were screaming, and i could’ve stopped this whole thing but i wasn’t in time.”

“you were the one who carried me to the emergency room, right?”

“the one and only.”

“god, lance. thank you so much. i’d be much worse off if i had died, you know.”

it ends with a hug. pidge wants so badly to wrap her arms around him, but all she can do is melt into lance and cling onto the back of his jacket while he holds her.

when pidge gets home from the hospital and takes off her bandages, she can’t look at her stump. it’s scarred, and it looks mangled. she’s cut off her hair and she started dressing in cargo shorts and been through hell, but she’s never felt less pretty than in this moment. 

the garrison standard issue homes assigned to the paladins families are in a cul de sac, so lance spends a lot of time at pidge’s house.

they play video games, but when lance puts in a street fighter type game they’re only allowed to use long range attacks (since pidge can’t use a joystick)

they also play fireboy and watergirl together.

“you know, i used to be both fireboy AND watergirl because it was challenging.”

“no, i’m pretty sure you played both because you were a massive nerd.”

“rude.”

“you’re my favourite nerd, pidgeon. don’t get mad.”

over time they start to grow more and more attached to each other, romantic-styles.

there’s a lot of cuddling.

one time pidge tried to throw her arm over his chest but she just forgot that she couldn’t. 

“thanks pidge, i get the idea.”

“you know, my phantom limb is pinching your nipple right now.”

there’s also a lot of pidge whipping her long sleeves around like a whip as an attack since she doesn’t fill it out anymore. 

they recreate the “don’t fuck with me! i have the power of goD and ANIME ON MY SIDE!” vine with pidge flailing the sleeve of lance’s jacket around

it makes matt cry laughing before he gives lance the “so you’re dating my sister” talk. 

life is good. lance is never too far behind when they go places, in case pidge is put off balance or needs help with something.

one time pidge started playing “every step you take” by the police because lance was almost stalker-ish with how he was watching her to make sure she was okay.

“rude, pidge. rude. maybe i should let you fall down the stairs when you can’t grab a banister.” 

lance is also acutely aware of how pidge’s scar tissue affects her self image, so he does constantly tell her she’s beautiful. especially if she wears a tank top of something that doesn’t hide her stump. it works too, because one day she looks in the mirror and finds it less ugly than she did.

when pidge’s arm is complete, shiro’s a little jealous.

it’s all white, with hints of green that match her paladin armor. the crystal that the balmera produced is also green, thanks to shay being extra and wanting to make pidge happy. it has a super acute wrist joint and finger joints so pidge can type at lightning speeds, and it’s easy to get on and off. lance watches her when she opens it, and plants a kiss on her forehead because his girlfriend is ADORABLE looking at her new hand, okay? 

“so pidge, i guess you won’t need me around anymore now that you’re back in action.” 

“oh please. i’m always gonna need my right hand man.”

YOU MADE IT TO THE END!!! CONGRATS!!! thank you to @justpidgance for motivating me to post this, she’s partially responsible ladies and gents. it’s just a cute lil thing i had floating around. thanks, drive home safe, wear your seatbelts.

[foolscapper]

Exploding Head Syndrome: A MCU Post-IW Fanfic | Ch. 4

(READ IN CHRONOLOGICAL ORDER.)

What happens when you pile a bunch of doctors into a medical wing with a catatonic spider-kid? A hell of a lot of things going on at once, it turns out. Bruce can't complain about it, because it at least keeps him focused on anything other than himself; life has been one big roller-coaster he hasn't been able to get off of since Ultron (no, wait, way before that), and all he wants is to sit in a lab and work on anything that isn't his own self-worth and mental capsizing. Two years killing aliens for sport as a gladiator will do that to you. Yeah, he still hasn't figured out how to work with this, so he just went ahead and put all that in a way-too-small box in his brain. Hooray for compartmentalizing.  Back to work. Cho has already gently pulled a sample of Parker's tissue from one of his arms to study his particularly complex cell structure, as is her particularly crucial talent, and Strange has returned from his own collection of ancient texts, Wong hovering at his side to offer whatever knowledge he can in the ways of the soul — to which Bruce knows Tony's grateful, but he also is well-aware that the man is running on fumes by the third day of diagnostics. The genius had been animated with the news of Peter's return, and that scene outside is still fresh in his mind as he eyes the reports that have come back from MRI scans of Peter's brain. There's no damage, no signs of anything that would cause this kind of dramatic loss of self, which Bruce semi-expected with the way Dr. Strange had gone on about the potential effects of the stones on a kid like Peter. There are variables. It's possible someone did this to him — that he was targeted, that maybe Thanos did something specific in the snap that left Peter completely vulnerable to complications. That doesn't too much sense in the grand scope of things, but it surely the madman had some range of control over who stayed and who went. The thing is, Thanos was dead. This shouldn't be a complication. Should it? 

Perhaps it's someone outside of Thanos. Someone from his roster, maybe. But that would also be an odd way to handle payback, especially when the Guardians and Strange were also at their mercy. Bruce didn't rule out the possibility that something from the planet itself might have effected Parker, especially when Titan may very well effect every one of them differently. Strange collected some of the dirt and debris carried over onto the Benatar, and from Peter and Drax's boots, but the results of the study yielded very little. "He's not completely human, that much is certain," Cho says, not unkindly. "If you look at the way his DNA is structured, it is much different than any string I would pull from myself or any normal boy off the street. But if there's a correlation with the way he's reacted to resurrecting, I have not found it yet." Bruce glances at Tony, biting his lip. "His brain scans are clean, too. I've sent everything to Shuri, though, just in case they can find something we don't. Which, you know, is a... pattern... lately..." Tony was up at all hours after the kid had been put to bed, compiling all manner of documents highlighting medical complications and disorders of the mind, and at this point Bruce is tempted to lock him out of the lab (though he's also more than aware he may also be punched in the teeth for it, and the last thing anyone needs is for Hulk to finally decide to pop back in)... Three whole days, though. It's not healthy, and yes, he's not the pinnacle of good mental health himself, but... He twiddles with a pen in his hands, once the two of them are alone (well, Peter is here, too... so they're alone enough). "Hey, we've got this. You're not gonna be any good to this kid if you're passing out mid-conversation." "We've got a bigger problem than that," Tony mumbles, rubbing at the exhaustion all over his face. They're both sitting at a counter near the lounge chairs; why aren't they sitting on the lounge chairs? Bruce is seeing a missed opportunity for comfort here. Peter has the right idea.

Tony adds, "... He hasn't eaten anything."

And okay, that is a pretty important thing to bring up. He'd been putting it off in the hopes they'd find something sooner, to avoid what he figured might have to be done. But even with practically living in the lab with this unresponsive kid, they're no closer to closing in on what's making him tick — or not tick, in this case — and resources are waning. Bruce bites his lip, not happy with what he'll have to say. "He's going to need a temporary feeding tube of some kind, soon. Until we can get any kind of result." "Oh, god." And Bruce sees in his friend's eyes, the slow unraveling that comes with helplessness. He wishes there was something he could say that was any more calming, but the fact of the matter is that Peter is his patient for the meanwhile, and he has to say exactly what's in the kid's best interest, whether it's emotionally draining or not. He's tired, they're all tired, Peter's probably hungry, and nobody wins in this situation. "He's not a typical case, either. His metabolism is too high to do anything different, Tony, I'm sorry. He's already losing way too much weight for just being a few days back, and IV drips are only gonna get us so far. Even if he's not mentally there right now, it's not humane to—" Tony's fist is a sharp, echoing sound against the metal table under his arm. "I know, alright? I know!"  A silence falls over them where they sit, and Peter — as always — only blinks and breathes where he sits nearby. It must be so much, to watch someone you love look like this for so long. Too long. Every glance in the boy's direction is a reminder of just how powerless they can all be, despite their collective minds, their hours and hours of best efforts. Bruce leans back, almost affronted by the simmering heat in Tony's rounded shoulders, tapping his pen to his teeth a few times before he says with a raised brow, "... Are you gonna hulk out on me? Do I need to get the armor out?" It works enough to tame the beast. And maybe even earn a hidden, miserable smile as Tony's face descends into shadow behind his fists. "Ha, ha. Very funny." More softly, Bruce replies, "... It won't be a big deal. It's an hour-long surgery at most, and it's extremely noninvasive and basic, and Cho can do it in her sleep. It's just a little button, practically — you won't even notice anything's any different, and he'll be all the more healthy for it, right? It's for Peter's well-being." Tony cards a hand through his hair, looking at Peter, who is sitting as compliantly as the day he'd been walked in.  "... You're a fucking pain in the ass, Pete," he says.  It's a strained response, and Bruce reaches out to cup one of Tony's shoulders. His doctoring isn't just limited to Peter, and he can see just how drained Tony is; he wears the bags under his eyes like a fashion accessory, and while that's usually all fine and good and expected of someone like him, enough is enough. He can't watch his friend self-combust in front of him."And you need to rest. I'm serious, man. Do you think he wants you to overwork yourself to death here?" "He doesn't want anything right now, because nobody's at the door, Bruce. And I don't know what to do." "Right now? Sleeping is what you do. You're no good to him if you're not at your best." A pause. "I'm getting Pepper." He stands, and Tony looks after him helplessly.  "No, hey — goddammit."

Stephen has met few as stubborn as Tony Stark, but he supposes that's one reason the earth had ultimately been in the best of hands, against Thanos and his unruly power. It takes a few arguments and a hell of a lot of coaxing and an unfair advantage of using a two year old baby, but eventually Tony relents with Bruce and Stephen's promise that they won't do anything until Tony can decide how to approach May Parker about this (this poor woman doesn't even know, she has no clue, and how are they going to explain to this poor woman that her adoptive son is here but not here at all?). Tony also adds an addendum, that he has to be present for every goddamn moment of any surgery involved here no matter how small, 'so help me god'. It's a fair request, one that Stephen gives his word to honor. He consults with Cho and Bruce, and they're in agreement: a percutaneous endoscopic gastrostomy, however temporary it is, is imperative for their patient. It would have never been something he would have cared about, in his professional career. He would have not given Peter Parker a second glance in the hospital, would have passed him off to someone else like he had been the most minor of roadblocks. A thoughtful silence falls over them as Dr. Cho talks about their short-term gameplan. Strange admittedly has a lot he should be doing; the Time Stone is back in its rightful place, and the whole world is reeling from the events of the last few years. He'd only given himself enough time to comb through old records at the Sanctum and remind Christine, rather lamely, that he's back from the dead.  She had nearly strangled him in her embrace, but it was a soft moment he wouldn't trade for anything.   "... I'll oversee the surgery as well," he finally speaks, glancing back at Peter. He's been there for every step of the conversation, and part of him hopes that a teenager hearing the word 'surgery' applied to them will make them suddenly spring to life with anxiety, like a kid realizing he's on his way to a dentist. Nothing of the sort happens, but even Stephen is not allergic to hopeful optimism. "I can promise you, he'll be in safe hands," Cho says worriedly, but he shakes his head with a raised hand. "It's not that. I trust you to be knowledgeable; you're a credit to your field. I just want to know for myself as well, that everything goes exactly as expected." If he can't take an hour out of his day to look out for a teammate, then he doesn't deserve to wear the cloak. "We'd love to have you," Bruce says, then smiles a little. "Are you, uh. Close with Peter?" He considers it for a moment, and only a moment, fleeting. For some reason, most of that moment comprises of memories, of one Peter Parker excitedly rambling at him about magic and floating cloaks for an hour prior to crash landing. He huffs a breath, almost a laugh. "Not particularly, to be honest. I'd only met him on an alien spaceship a day before we all were killed. But — his involvement in our timeline can't be overstated. And... the kid did save my life. And helped me avoid a great deal of torment. So I suppose he's a temporary... ward, of sorts. I'm indebted to him. What about you?" "This is the first time I've met him, actually. But... he means a lot to Tony. And..." The doctor grows quiet for a moment with folded, contemplative arms, and Cho and Stephen give him a moment to continue. "And — I know what it's like." Strange cocks his head. Bruce sighs through his nose, eyes darkening with discontentment. A storm of ugly memories, all kept under lock and key; Stephen knows about the Hulk, of course, but he can hardly imagine the sorts of horror shows only Bruce banner is privy to. The man says, "I know what it's like, to be trapped in your own body. Maybe he's not, not exactly, and nothing like how I've been before, but... either way, he deserves to have it back." That's all that needs to be said. Stephen rises to leave after some time and a couple of warm drinks, hearing Bruce speaking effortlessly to Peter from around the corner before he fades further and further from earshot: "Hey kid, you're pretty good at this whole meditation thing; I'm a pro at it, myself. We should go out and get some air, maybe practice on the lawn. You could use some sunlight before you turn into a lab hermit like the rest of us old men." Wong hovers in the main corridor, newly arrived. A good sign. Stephen walks with him.  "Anything from the Sanctum about the stones that might help this?" "Not very much," Wong relents. "What little can be found are based in texts that predate most everything we know as masters. However... I was able to look into what the Ancient One left behind in her many records and found something potentially helpful — and that is not necessarily something about the infinity stones, but about astral projection. I'll have to show you when we return, so you can help me decipher her chicken scratch." Stephen laughs softly, and they enjoy the sound of each other's footsteps. "... Do you have any theories, about what's actually wrong with the boy?" Strange purses his lips, and says at cautious length, "It's all just a theory, but... the woman, Mantis, she had been able to sense him within his body for a short time, even if it wasn't for long. I think more than anything else, it's possible that Peter returned to himself momentarily like the rest of us — and then panicked and let himself sink back into... wherever we all were." "Panicked?" Wong's brow furrows. "Over being alive again?" "... Over the pain of it. Stark had a hard time talking about it, but from what I can gather from his recollections, Peter's death was extraordinarily different from the rest of us. He felt that something was wrong before he'd passed, and it took him much longer than the rest of us to die. If I had to fathom a guess... I think maybe his composition was his own undoing. He's a scared child who couldn't cope with re-living that moment of suffering." "And what is the solution to that? Is there any?" Stephen looks to the side, where Bruce and Peter are resting in the sun, not too far from where the Benatar had landed — with them and bad news. For a moment Stephen worries about the safety of a mentally lost boy and a doctor sorely lacking in control over his green rage-monster, but then he notices the blot of red on the rooftops — Natasha Romanoff, accompanied by a suited-up Sam Wilson, watching with bird-like eyes over the resting figures.  Stephen smiles faintly despite himself. "None that I can offer anyone right now. There may not be a solution. Even the Scarlet Witch couldn't find any foothold in the kid's mind... There's no link that we can find between him and the physical world. But if there's any hope at all, and if all else truly fails... my personal bet is on the Soul Stone." Though maybe — and this is a fluttering, unprofessional thought in the grand scheme of things — the extended hands of Peter Parker's worried team may be part of that solution, too. Stephen makes a mental note to compile as much as he can to give to Stark from the Ancient One's writings. And he gives silent thanks to her, that even after her passing, she's managed to help provide obnoxiously useful words of wisdom, be it in slowed thunder storms or old, time-stained scrolls.

[girl-next-door-writes]

Unanswered Questions

Characters: Gabriel x Reader kinda

Summary: Gabriel is stuck up a tree.  How did he get there?  How will he get down?  Why are the police after him? What is he wearing?  

Word Count: 1373 words

Prompt: “I want to see you try to talk your way out of this one.”

A/N: So this is for @trexrambling and @wheresthekillswitch  and their amazing crackfic challenge.  It’s also kinda for my fellow Mitten @thewhiterabbit42 because it’s her fault I had this image in my head.  

Gabriel had been sitting there for forty minutes now and his ass was beginning to go numb.  This was absolutely not going to plan and he was running out of options.  Swinging his legs lightly he surveyed the drop once more on the off chance the ground had mysteriously got closer since the last time he looked.  Sitting at the base of the tree was that damned cat watching him somewhat smugly. “This is your fault fleabag. Consider yourself lucky I’ve lost my mojo or you would be in a world of pain right now.” He frowned.  This whole human thing was really not as easy as he had hoped, they were so damned breakable.  Sliding his phone out of his pocket he flicked through his limited contacts wondering which would be the least humiliating to call and help him out of this situation.  Cas? He wasn’t sure if he could put up with the endless questions.  “Why are you sat in a tree brother?”, “Why are you dressed like that?”, “What cat? I can’t see a cat Gabriel.”.  No, not Cas.  Dean?  Oh hells no. That wasn’t even an option.  His thumb lingered over your number for a moment but then explaining the outfit would mean explaining he had caught feelings and he really wasn’t ready for that rejection, especially while stuck up a tree.  The longer he sat here the greater the chance he would get caught so he took a deep breath and called the last option.  “Sam. I need your help.”

The Impala came to a stop at the end of the street and Sam climbed out and looked around, a grin spreading across his face when he spotted the former trickster perched in the lower branches of a nearby tree.  Dean emerged from the driver side followed by Cas and then you and Gabriel groaned.  Of course the whole team would show up, it’s not like he asked for help often and he’d been so vague with Sam they probably thought it was something bad.  As the whole gang made their way over he could see the amusement written all over the Winchsters faces, confusion from Cas and what looked like concern on yours.  He liked you were concerned about him but he didn’t have long to dwell on that. “I have a couple of questions.” Dean raised an eyebrow as he smirked at Gabriel.  “First of all, do you see the irony of a guy dressed as a firefighter stuck up a tree?”  Sam had his phone out taking as many pictures as he could as he flat out laughed at the ridiculous situation.

“Boys,” you looked at them seriously with just the hint of a smile. “the first question should be are you okay?  Then followed by, what are you doing up in a tree?” you called up.

“I want to know where he got that uniform from.”  A severe voice rang out behind you all and two police officers and a real fire fighter walked towards you all with a look of an angry mob.  

“I want to see you try to talk your way out of this one.” Dean muttered almost under his breath as Sam began to lead Castiel away before he could ‘help’ by explaining and words like ‘angels’ and ‘demons’ began to muddy the already murky waters.  Gabriel looked so defeated.  He never had to deal with this sort of shit before and it was so tedious and not at all fun.  

“Thank you for getting here so quickly officers.” You smiled at the policemen who seemed a little thrown by your response.  “My cousin is so confused, he only got out of the facility this morning.  He thinks he’s five years old and at that age he just always wanted to be a fireman and, well, can you please help us get him down safely then we can get him back to his medication?”   At the mention of a ‘facility’ the officials couldn’t do enough for you and once again Gabriel was impressed with how quick you were, how creative and just how beautiful.  He was so taken with what you had just done for him that he didn’t say a single word until you were all squished into the car and on your way back to safety.  

“So, you wanna tell us what the hell that was all about?” Dean glanced at Gabriel in the rearview mirror. “You could have been arrested man and that’s a whole load of paperwork we’re not prepared for right now.”

“I was just doing a thing.” The errant angel mumbled with a shrug as he pointedly looked out of the window.

“By ‘a thing’ do you mean felony?” Dean pressed, the amusement of the situation now coloured with a distinct pissed off vibe.  “You’ve not got your powers at the moment Gabriel, you can’t just go help yourself to things to amuse yourself.”

“I KNOW.” He exploded causing everyone to startle slightly.  “I know alright.�� Gabe folded his arms and huffed.  “Besides, it wasn’t for my own amusement and I’d have been home and dry if I hadn’t stopped to… you know what, never mind.”

“If you hadn’t stopped to what?” you asked softly, placing your hand lightly on his arm.  Turning his head his bright eyes met yours as he felt a tingle rush up his arm where your fingers lay.  

“There was a cat and it seemed in distress so…”

“Oh man, really?  You climbed a tree to save a goddamned cat?” distain dripped from Deans words and you giggled.

“Gabey, why would you do that?”

“I just thought it was the right thing to do, a kinda human thing? I don’t know.” He could feel the heat of humiliation rising to his face and he looked away.  Not only had he appeared helpless but now you were laughing at him. Great.

“Hold up, you were trying to do the right thing AFTER you had STOLEN a firefighter uniform?” Sam questioned, now turned in his seat to look at Gabriel with intense scrutiny.  “Why steal the uniform?”

And there it was, the question Gabriel couldn’t answer.  The real reason was that ridiculous calendar that was hanging in your room that Dean had bought you as a joke gift last Christmas.  For weeks Gabriel had been trying to get your attention and failed miserably each and every time.  Without his power he couldn’t just whisk you away to Paris for a candle lit meal or conjure up a feast of your favourite food.  He had to me more creative.  Noticing you found this look appealing he had tried to hire an outfit but none of them looked right, not authentic enough.  Then today as he walked past the fire station he wondered how easy it would be to just walk in and grab one.  The answer to that was surprisingly easy.  Strutting his way down the street he hadn’t gotten too far before the distressed mewling came to his ears and the thought of how impressed you would be when he came home dressed like this with a tale of how he saved a poor defenceless kitty had him shimmying up the tree before really thinking about it.  Once he reached the branch where the cat was he reached out, cooing gently, only for the little shit to leap from the branch and land completely unharmed on the ground below.  That was the moment he realised how high he was and that he didn’t actually know how to get down.  

“I just thought I’d look good in it.” He shrugged, plastering a fake smirk on his face.  Knowing he wasn’t about to get a real answer Sam just shook his head and turned back around.  You leaned into Gabriel and his body tensed as he felt your warm breath on his cheek.

“For what it’s worth, I think you look real good in that uniform.” You whisper before resting your head on his shoulder.  His eyes widen with surprise and a genuine smile breaks out across his face as he rests his head against yours.  It may not be how he’d planned things going but possibly it hadn’t been a total disaster.

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