#we're uh. having some issues lately lol

[neganium]

Doin some quick shitty sketches whilst contemplating hunger. Anybody wanna pay me to draw a quick shitty sketch of ur blorbo or whatever?

[littleskeletonprincessss]

Anniversary

Congratulations you all get a lil schlatt smut that my brain won't let go so i'm writing it so I can get enough sleep to go to church tomorrow. MDNI below the break!

Lol I thought about titling this 'blurb' but uh nvm i guess.

"Shut the fuck up, broad."

"Oh real original, Schlatt. That's all you can come up with? Dumbass. I know it's so terrible that I wanted you home at a decent hour on our goddamn anniversary!"

"You know what, you're on your own tonight. I'm going out where I won't be annoyed to shit."

Schlatt had slammed the door shut after grabbing his keys and jacket.

Schlatt had had a slight temper as long as you'd known him, and you were usually able to put up with it. You were usually the one to talk him down from his tantrums.

But tonight you were in a bad mood when he finally opened the front door after being at work all day. It was your anniversary, and not only had he done nothing to acknowledge it all day, not even a quick text, he was late for the dinner you'd spent all week learning and all afternoon cooking. You'd even told him that morning that you were making something special for dinner and to please not be late.

You knew how hard he worked to provide for your little family, and it's not that you weren't grateful, it was just less of a family without him and instead a pathetic lonely woman with her cats.

When he'd finally opened the front door, he'd walked in, stumbling over one of Jambo's toys that the tabby had dragged around all day wanting to play with you.

"Y/N what the fuck is this? I spend all day at work and you can't even bother to clean up?"

That's what had started the back and forth yelling match bringing you to your current place, sitting at the kitchen counter, picking at the meal you'd prepared, the spat chasing your appetite away, but not your thirst, which was evident by the emptying bottle of wine you'd opened.

You missed the Schlatt you dated before Youtube, Twitch, Chuckle Sandwich, Sleep Deprived, and the growing list of his companies. Before he was always so high strung and stretched this way and that. He'd come home, excited to sit down for dinner to tell you about his day. You two would move to the couch for a movie before eventually making your way to bed. You missed the simple, happy moments when you'd adopted Jambo, and then later when you'd adopted his brother.

You loved Schlatt, you really did. But did you deserve the attitude that he always seemed to have?

Deciding you'd had enough, you pushed your plate away and climbed the stairs to your bedroom. Opening the closet you reaching to the top shelf to pull down your suitcase, laying it on the bed and unzipping it to start filling it with anything you'd need for a temporary hotel stay.

While putting the last few items in, you heard the front door for the 3rd time that night. Schlatt didn't say anything, but you heard him hanging his jacket and walking to the kitchen before starting towards the stairs.

"Honey?"

You stayed silent, as you heard him move his way down the hall, his heavy footfalls signaling his every move.

Zipping your suitcase you lifted it off the bed and onto the floor as Schlatt stepped into the doorway.

"Baby, what are you doing?" he asked, eyeing the suitcase in your hand.

"I think we need some space, Schlatt. Obviously we're having some issues and I think it's best we spend some time away from each other."

"What? No. Sweetheart, please." Schlatt grabbed your wrist trying to pull you to him.

"Let me go, Schlatt."

"No, y/n. Please lets talk about this." Being as strong as he was, despite your resistance Schlatt was able to sit on the bed, pulling you into his lap.

Pushing off his lap, you opted for sitting next to him, crossing your arms and bringing your knees up.

"Baby i'm so sorry for earlier...It'd been a long day, and I know that's no excuse for yelling but I--"

Sighing, you uncrossed your arms slightly, leaning your head back against the headboard.

"It wasn't just that, Schlatt." you said, cutting him off. "I'm used to being your punching bag after work. Someone to vent you frustrations to. But what made it worse tonight was that tonight, of all nights, I asked you to be home on time for dinner. I thought I'd do something nice for our anniversary." You whispered sadly, your head falling to look at your lap.

"Shit, I forgot. Baby, I'm so so sorry." Schlatt brought an arm around your shoulders, leaning and pulling you to rest on him. He placed a gentle kiss to the top of your head. "Let me make it up to you? We can go downstairs, heat up dinner, pretend earlier never even happened. We can even watch one of those cheesy movies you like. Cuddle on the couch, just you, me and the boys. Huh? How's that sound?" You could hear the hope in his voice.

"Schlatt, I'm sorry. But I don't think i'm in the mood for any of that anymore."

Schlatt let out a defeated sigh. "Okay, baby. How about a bath? I'll make you up a nice one with candles, a bath bomb, nice warm water, a nice relaxing bath."

"I don't know, Schlatt-"

"Sugar, please. Let me try and fix this." Schlatt looked at you with the desperate puppy dog eyes, big and brown, he'd learned you couldn't resist over the course of your relationship.

Seeing those eyes made you almost forget why you were upset with him. Hearing his desperate pleas, and how much he wanted to set things right, this was the Schlatt you'd fallen in love with.

Giving in, you pull him into a kiss. Feeling his shoulders relax some, knowing he'd broken through the icy exterior you were giving him, he whimpered into your kiss, he wrapped one arm around your back, holding you close as he leaned more into the kiss, moving to lying you down, hovering over you.

As the wine you'd had earlier started to kick in, the kisses got less gentle, and the touches got a little less innocent, while the feelings of love, passion, sorrow, forgiveness, were all heightened. This was nowhere near your first time having sex with Schlatt, but few times before had it felt this way.

As you drew closer to your climax, you looked up at the man hovering over you, arms on either side of your head supporting the majority of his weight as the rest pressed deliciously against you, his hips snapping at a steady rhythm into you, soft grunts escaping his lips.

Threading your fingers through his dark curls, you pulled him into another kiss, one that your tried pouring your entire heart into. Every feeling, every thought you tried conveying through it. Schlatt did the same, as his thrusts sped up, pressing deeper into you, and you moaned into each others mouths as you came together.

Pressing his forehead against yours, grounding each other as you came down from your high, Schlatt pressed a chaste kiss to your lips.

"Please don't fucking scare me like that ever again, y/n. Please don't give up on me. Don't give up on us."

"Oh baby, I won't. I promise."

"I'm serious, Princess." Schlatt stated, looking into your eyes. "My love, you are the most important thing in my life and the greatest thing that has ever happened to me, bar none. If I ever lost you-" Schlatt choked out the last sentence, as he looked away.

"Schlatt, baby are you crying?" You whispered, bringing his face back to yours. He wasn't making eye contact with you anymore, but now that he was facing you, you were able to see the tears forming in his eyes. "Oh, handsome, come here." You cooed, pulling his head down towards you. Schlatt buried his face in your neck, and you could feel the hot tears he had been trying to hide, your fingertips trailing across his bare back as you comforted him, trying to calm the deep breaths he took as he cried into your neck.

"I love you, Schlatt." You whispered in his ear, once his sobs had quieted.

"I love you, y/n. So much."

A few minutes passed as you laid in each others warmth, soaking in the raw feelings hanging in the air.

"So about that bath.." You started, smiling feeling Schlatt grin into your shoulder.

"Yeah, yeah. In a minute. I was at work all day you know and just went through some very extraneous activity."

[aihoshiino]

chapter 145 thoughts!

what even was this chapter, y'all. i'm getting a migraine.

While it certainly wasn't actively bad, it basically hits on enough of the issues I've been having with the Movie Arc that if you've been reading my chapter reviews lately, you could probably write this one yourself. Weird pacing, skipping over interesting parts of the movie, continued framing of AQRB as a shallow gag and failing to follow on any of the implied development from or literally any referenced fallout of the kiss in 143? It's all here, babes. It would ultimately just be boring and redundant for me to go over all that at length again, so I won't.

I will however say that I'm pretty disappointed we're blasting through what had the potential to be some really interesting bits of postmortem characterization for Ai, even filtered through 15YL. I don't mind the manga breezing past scenes we saw firsthand but like… how did Ai react when she realized she was pregnant? How did she feel, especially given that Spica once again emphasized her longing for a family of her own? IDK. The way the story is suddenly jolting forwards in these last few chapters and skipping such huge chunks of Ai's life ultimately feels very strange and I don't know what to make of it yet.

Everyone reacting to Crow Girl's acting was pretty funny though I'm kind of exhausted with Ruby's Gaga-For-Oniichansensei Gag Character flanderization. IDK if my tolerance for it is just decreasing or if it really is amping up, but at least in the 125-137 stretch I at least got the sense that they could be in the same room and have a normal conversation but ever since 139, it feels that bit more relentless. I imagine this would be less irritating if we knew how the aftermath of 143 had played out but it really seems like the manga is going to drag this out until we're all old and grey.

THAT SAID, this chapter does confirm that Aqua's hoshigan stayed white after that chapter and… eh. Who even knows what that means lol. It does at least imply that his talk with Ruby has brought him back to Baseline Aqua but Baseline Aqua is still a guy with every single mental illness on planet earth so I don't know if that's the world's biggest W quite yet. It certainly implies an improvement over double black hoshigan but… again, with Aqua being so totally cut off from the readers this whole arc and no idea of what happened in the aftermath of 143, it's impossible to make a meaningful guess as to wtf is going on with Aqua right now.

Oh yeah, uh. This chapter also I guess constitutes the reveal of how the AQRB reincarnation happened. I guess LMAO. Honestly, I don't have much to say about it other than it feels like a bit of an anticlimax for me? The idea works fine, the execution just left me… idk. Whelmed at best, underwhelmed at most. I feel like this backstory and the implied deep fondness for GRSR -> AQRB it implies doesn't really like up with the personality she displays in the Private arc but like, I kind of feel like she was tossed into the story without Akasaka having a clear idea as to what her role was even going to turn into so maybe that's not a surprise LOL

I will say I'm glad this seems to quash the theory that Aqua and Ruby were secretly capital-G Gods, instead framing it as a Tsuru no Ongaeshi type return of kindness to two otherwise mundane people. There was some fun fan theorizing around the idea, but for me personally, Oshi no Ko is most interesting when it focuses on that aspect of the story Akasaka highlighted in an interview recently, of human relationships being warped by the entertainment industry and I think an explosion of the emotional stakes to the cosmic scale of AQRB (or tbh any of the characters) being Secretly Gods All Along would be a bit of a shark jump for me and would really shift away from what I like about the series most.

That's kind of it for this one…! Not really a lot to say about this chapter, which is why most of this review was me explaining why I didn't have a lot to say about it.

[roguemonsterfucker]

My poor younger sibling is the only member of my family that actually wants to see people. Like. In real life.

They get so excited when extended family may come visit.

So uh. Yesterday, a somewhat distant relative said they were coming to town and wanted to make plans to meet up with us. Now, making plans to go somewhere for my family is. Complicated.

My younger sibling has a lot of disabilities that make getting out of the house quite the production (wheelchair, medical equipment that has to travel with us, etc, etc). But uh. People don't usually understand this. They don't really process the fact that leaving the house takes real effort for us.

But we were gonna do it because my younger sibling really wanted to meet up with this person! Because my sibling is a fucking weirdo who actually likes people for some reason. 😂 Very much the black sheep of the family. We're all anti social losers.

Anyways, so this person last night says that they'll get back in contact with us to make plans to meet up today.

So my sibling gets ready for the day as if they're gonna be leaving the house.

And then we wait.

And wait.

And wait some more.

Finally my mom is like, no. It's too late in the day now. It's an hour drive there and traffic will be bad and we can't be out late in the evening anyways for reasons. So she texts the person that they'll have to cancel.

And uh. The person texts back basically saying that they're at the airport right now, leaving town, so they wouldn't have been able to meet up anyways. Plans got changed so they didn't end up staying as long as originally thought.

🙃

So uh. Yeah. My younger sibling is really upset. They even said "This is gonna turn me into you!" lol. 😂

This person had all fucking day to let us know plans changed. But didn't say anything until we had to cancel.

Odds are they just forgot about the plans they'd been making with us. But fucking hell.

I'm very angry on my sibling's behalf because they actually like spending time with our extended family! They like hanging out with people! And this happens to them all the fucking time.

And then *we* get labeled as the people that don't make an effort to spend time with family. Because no one understands how much fucking effort it takes to even leave the fucking house and no one's willing to accommodate for that. They always expect us to be the one to drive an hour. They expect us to be the one to stay over at their house (with a fucking ventilator no less 🙄).

We can't just jump in the car and go anywhere we want. Just getting my sibling into a car is a long, hard process because of their mobility disabilities. Then if where we're going requires them to get out of the car again... Oh boy. That's a lot of moving around that is very difficult. That's not even mentioning the like three bags of medical equipment my sibling has to have nearby at all times (some of which is attached to them!).

And yet. My sibling loves going places. They love meeting people.

My sibling, the one of us who physically can't go places too much both because it's difficult and because they're prone to getting sick.

And the *one* time in months that we were gonna put forth the effort and take that risk... and the person doesn't even have the courtesy to let us know they needed to cancel.

anyways, i'm kinda pissed off if you couldn't tell. I figured a lot of y'all might be able to relate to part of this struggle at least.

I don't have my sibling's physical disabilities but I have a lot of my own issues that our extended family over the years has thought they could fix by just forcing me to do what they wanted me to do. I've had people just not understand the depth of my problems and never care to accommodate me or even just accept that part of me. But I also fucking hate people and don't care to talk to any of our extended family if I don't have to, so it's whatever. It just breaks my heart to see my sibling be so excited for something only for that person to be an inconsiderate jerk and crush their excitement.

[alterrune]

ATO UPDATE LOG: WISDOM TEETH REMOVAL & HARMONY'S GOLDFISH

"hey, it's harmony again."

"so it turns out kyle's getting wisdom teeth removed in november. i know that's a month away, but...kyle insisted you guys know that. he said he doesn't know when in november he's getting them removed, but he says it won't be fun."

Harmony? What are you doing?

"oh, hey. morning, sleepyhead. you were out like a light, so I thought i'd tell them about your wisdom teeth removal thing."

Harmony, I was out like a light because of the pills I take for my insomnia issues. They've gotten really bad as of late. Plus the whole thing with the Midnight Channel left me even more tired than usual, so I think I definitely slept through my alarm today.

WAIT HANG ON DID YOU SAY YOU WERE TELLING THEM ABOUT MY WISDOM TEETH GETTING REMOVED?!

"yeah. why do you sound angry? is that a problem?"

Harmony...I'm sorry, but you know we're still in early October, right?

"yeah. you said you wanted to get this out there as soon as possible."

Okay, Harmony. Tell me honestly right now. Are you high?

"YES, SHE IS. OFF HER OWN SEA ANEMONE VENOM. IT'S NOT POISONOUS, BUT IT DOES MAKE HER A BIT SCATTERBRAINED."

DAAGH!! Who the hell was that?!

"oh. hey, synth."

"HELLO, HARMONY."

"sorry. synth is the little fish that lives in my hair. he's a funky little guy."

"YES, AND I WOULD BE CURRENTLY DYING FROM NEGLECT, BUT, BY SOME CRUEL TWIST OF FATE, I CAN'T DIE."

Uh...okay, Synth. (Damnit, Harmony!)

But anyways, Harmony's right. I will be having my wisdom teeth taken out sometime in November. I have no idea when specifically, but it'll definitely be November. So, yeah, for now, we have no plans for anything in November, but when I can get a definitive date, we'll schedule things around that.

"hey, quick question."

Yeah, Harmony?

"why haven't we gotten any asks yet?"

Well, because we were busy with that whole shadow thing. (By the way, I recently tagged all those posts with #ato: shadow hunt for easy browsing purposes.) Thanks for the assist, by the way.

"no problem lol. don't worry, i can wait for these guys to start asking me stuff now that that whole shadow thing is over for now."

Glad to hear it. Oh, and by the way, Harmony?

"yeah?"

FEED. SYNTH.

"alright, alright, fine. here's some fish food, synth."

(chomp, chomp) "THANK YOU SO MUCH, KYLE. IT'S BEEN SO LONG SINCE HARMONY HAS ACTUALLY FED ME THAT I CAN'T EVEN REMEMBER THE LAST TIME I WAS FED."

You're welcome, Synth. Anytime.

(click "Keep reading" for a summary of this announcement)

So, just to summarize:

My wisdom teeth are getting removed in November and we lack any plans in November because of that

We'll reschedule stuff once I know more about when the surgical operation is taking place

Harmony's been waiting for y'all to ask her stuff after our skirmish with Shadow Laurence and Shadow Lily finally has stopped

Harmony's little pet goldfish in her hair is named "Synth"

I've added #ato: shadow hunt to all the posts regarding our skirmish with Shadow Laurence and Shadow Lily

I think I'll start doing these little summaries in update posts from now on. This way, the info can be seen in a clear and consice manner without interrupting the main update post.

[danses-with-dogmeat]

🦀👑

CONGRATS ON 1.5K!!!! (I hope I got that right I’m kinda half asleep lol) I always loved your writing and you def deserve it! Can you do “you feel like home to me.” For maccready? Super excited for you but make sure to drink water!

-🌱 leaf anon

Yay leaf anon! It's good to see you! 😊

And this is so cute, omg, you absolutely got it right. This is perfect for Mac 😩

I hope you like it!

"Hey." Mac's knuckles tapped on the doorframe as he peeked inside the room. You could hear other patrons milling around outside, in one of the larger rooms of the house. It was a little odd, the way they'd converted this old home into a proper inn, but... It would work for tonight well enough.

You motioned for him to come in, setting the bag you were rifling to onto the floor so he could sit.

"How uh, how are you feeling?"

He was speaking delicately enough that you thought something might be wrong, that he was tiptoeing around some bad news he had harbored away somewhere.

"I'm... fine? I guess. Why are you asking?"

You turned towards him as he sat down on the bed beside you, a curious look in your eye.

"Well, you know..." He rubbed at the back of his neck, "Everything that happened with the house-- your house. Us staying in this inn, even when we're in Sanctuary, I mean... this was your home before it was anyone else's, wasn't it?"

Your eyes widened slightly in surprise.

Maybe Mac was right, maybe it should've bothered you more. It was your first house, after all... so many memories were stored in its walls, so many late nights and early mornings, happy memories of good times, and grief-ridden ones you'd rather forget, and maybe... Maybe that was it. After everything that's happened, maybe it was good now, to see it in someone else's hands, to move on.

"Well, I suppose, but... I'm alright with it." You told him simply, "Marcy and Jun will have more use out of that old house than I will, and with us leaving for DC tomorrow, who knows? We may end up staying there, right? Or if we come back, well... it'll be nice to have a fresh start."

MacCready nodded, still looking concerned for you, and you smiled reassuringly, placing one hand over his and squeezing gently.

"But that was your home." He said quietly, still fixating on the issue. It hit you then, that maybe he was seeing it this way because, at one time, MacCready would've done anything to remain in his own home, on that farm with his son.

But this was different. He didn't want to stay for the structure of concrete and wood, he wanted to stay because of Duncan.

But you... you had no Duncan anymore.

"You feel like home to me now, RJ." You said softly, hardly realizing you were speaking aloud. "It's not that old building anymore. I only liked it there so much, because it reminded me of my family, but..." You smiled sadly, and took his hand in yours, drawing his ocean-blue gaze to meet you. Mac brought his other hand over, covering yours, and holding it snugly in his hands' embrace.

"Now... that's you. And soon, Duncan too." MacCready grinned at that, showing off his crooked teeth as you continued. "Wherever you are, that's home to me now."

MacCready's brows creased together as emotion glistened in his eyes. Gently, he released your hand and pulled you forward and into his tight embrace. You closed your eyes at the warm feel of him, returning his smile as your hands wrapped around him and held him close.

[addict-for-poison]

I think someone irl knows we're a system, but is completely wrong about it lol.

Uhh backstory. We're close to our aunt, and we talk to her extremely frequently about our mental health issues. But she doesn't know about the system since we brought up system stuff before and talked about other systems, and she said that all alters are just the host. She's never had any other bad takes about mental health besides systems and is genuinely the most supportive person we're really close to so we just avoid bringing the system up.

Well tonight we were telling her about some stuff related to hallucinations and delusions we've been experiencing lately and also for the last several years, which we've talked about countless times before, and at one point she said the hallucinations were alters. I asked what she meant, because I thought maybe she meant some other then system alters. She clarified she meant multiple personalities. I denied it and said it definitely wasn't alters or did, but didn't say why.

Long story short, I think she knows we're a system, but I think she thinks the hallucinations are the alters LMAO. Uh idk how to go about this next. I plan to eventually ask her if she thinks we might have did/mpd, but wow I didn't think we sucked THAT BADLY at masking lol. I'm not too surprised, just kinda funny. Idk what I'm gonna tell her if she thinks we do have it. I guess I could explain that we're a system, but idk how she's gonna react to us not having a proper host. I can't really deny that we don't have it, because she could just think that we're in an early stage when the sysmates are hiding from the host.

[finch-the-foolish]

Okay boys we're on an adrenaline rush from going to a dance with our friends and more than happy to ramble so it's time for celestials, their issues, our girl gemmy gem, and the joy that is today's Horror of the Heavens.

Alright so the horrors (abbreviation pending) includes many a fun gang of individuals, with the basic premise being the server's resident eldritch horrors are trying real hard not to be discovered as eldritch horrors, as most of them are generally seen in a negative light. It's a bit messy atm, but feel free to ask about it and help me flesh out the world!

Anyway, today's topic is the starry bois gang, from which our girly geminislay originates for au purposes. Our token traveler of the stars and wanderer of the cosmos, leading a double life to deal with her otherworldly nature. (A forewarning, we know little about the actual canon and at this point do not have the energy to research, so this is your This is an AU, Do Not Yell at Me warning)

First off, celestials. As previously mentioned, these are beings of the stars, heavily connected with the universe and it's multitudes. They're wanderers by nature, needing to edge across the solar winds, to soar across the void fast as the lights which carry them. It's very difficult for a celestial to stay within one realm, their disconnect with the greater universe growing worse the longer they linger, eventually driving them mad, or, worse, make them snap outright.

And so they wander, putting up masks of identity and traveling through the multiverse. This is a common practice among Celestials, and unlike some other groups, they are very scattered throughout the multiverse. They often choose to reside in multiple realms, managing their needs of travel and movement in a slightly more healthy manner, though it can often be a cause of stress.

There's a thing I mentioned in the gem fic, imploding. And that's a Very Very Bad Thing for celestials. They're decently powerful, growing stronger with time, though incredibly volatile in power and emotion. When they feel, they feel strongly, and those emotions can drag their powers to the surface. There's a certain point where a celestial snaps, a point of emotional and mental turmoil where their powers go into defense mode, and turn very destructive. Especially for a newborn celestial, whom are often very unstable and struggle with controlling their powers, the danger is present and real. If bad enough, this reflexive defense can destroy regions, worlds even. There have been stories of a whole realm which was destroyed in one such implosion, though whether it was on purpose or a tragic accident has since been lost to history.

Many of the well-known stories are neutral, if more negative, largely due to their unstable powers and usage of false selves in their travels. There are some positive views of them, but generally they're in a fairly neutral light.

They have a heavy variation in personalities and colour schemes, though many align with some form of star-related scheme. Their defining feature, regardless of form, is their eyes, which are continually dark, holding a multitude of bright speckles like a miniature sky. They can minimize this with their abilities and reality warping, but can never hide it.

Aight uh it's late so ima end there but feel free to ask questions (in fact, please do! Questions about the au in general, the characters, our gangs of eldritch dudes, the world, anything and everything. Please I'm so lonely I need to talk lol-) goodbye for now, may your journeys be safe and the fates kind in their pulling of future.

[bucky-bucky-bucky-bucky]

Something Came Up | Bucky Barnes x Reader

So once again, I can’t seem to write smut because of my Catholic guilt. Here we are with some flirtatious banter and implied smut. Fun fact: the idea for this came from an old Bo Burnham song lol it’s called High School Party.

As always, send me any comments, questions, or suggestions you may have! 💘

Tag list of lovely individuals: @beefybuckrrito, @shadytalementality, @everything-burns-down, @rainbow-unicorn-pony, and @mandersshow 🥰

—————————————

"You're sure this is mandatory?" Bucky groaned as he trudged behind you at an almost comically slow pace, delaying the inevitable. "That's what Nat said, and she's in charge today. I don't wanna be on her bad side", you said with a shrug. An expected laugh ripped though Bucky's chest and he stopped walking all together, almost doubling over in his amusement. "I'm sorry, what?!" he exclaimed when he finally caught his breath, "Nat is in charge of this?! Our Nat is leading... a yoga class?!"

A loud thud resounded through the hall as Nat turned the corner and smacked Bucky with her rolled up yoga mat. "What's so funny, Barnes? Don't think I can lead a yoga class? I'm zen as fuck," she quipped before shooting you a wink and making her way into the gym. Bucky slung a heavy arm around your shoulders and reluctantly began pulling you in the direction of the gym. "Better get to class, sweetheart, the teacher seems to have no issue with corporal punishment," he joked. Your laugh came out just a moment late, seeing as all you could focus on was the fact that Bucky’s warm body was pressed so closely against yours.

The two of you entered the gym and quickly realized you were the very last people to arrive. There were two mats left and they were right next to each other, which you knew would make the class way more tolerable- perhaps even fun. You couldn't wait to listen to Bucky mutter jokes and sarcastic comments under his breath for only you to hear. The two of you had too many secret jokes to count, to the point that sometimes it felt like you had a secret language.

"What's the point of this again?" Bucky muttered in a strained voice as he struggled to get comfortable in child's pose. "Uh, team bonding...I think? Team unity? Team...something" you whispered back. Moving through the warm up poses proved easy for you, but the same could not be said for Bucky. "I thought you were some kinda expertly trained super assassin or something," you joked, "how are you this bad at yoga, Barnes?" He stuck his tongue out at you and you did the same in response, prompting a not so subtle 'knock it off' throat clearing from Nat.

"Alright, we're gonna move into partner work for the duration of the class! Everyone pick a partner and let's get started," Nat announced. Bucky's cold, metal grabbed yours before you could even blink, claiming you as his partner. "A little presumptuous, aren't we, Barnes? Who says I wanna be your partner?" you teased. He rolled his eyes at you and gave your hand a small squeeze. "Yeah, like you wanna get stuck with that douchebag Walker," he retorted with a wink.

As the class continued, Bucky's lack of flexibility and perfectly timed quips made it difficult for you not to disrupt the class with your laughter. He really was your favorite person to spend time with, and doing so in a setting that allowed you to marvel at his perfect physique had your face set in what felt like a permanent grin. With each pose, you felt like Nat was playing some kind of prank on you. Every instruction she gave had you touching or being touched by Bucky in an increasingly intimate way. At one point Bucky found himself in a pose that required his hand to tightly grip your upper thigh and a nervous smile broke through your composed facade. “Yeah, this is some team bonding, alright,” Bucky murmured as Nat instructed you to place both hands on Bucky’s chest. You stifled a laugh and leaned close to his ear, whispering “yeah, I’d say we’re bonded now”.

Everything was going okay until it was time downward dog. There you were, ass in the air, just trying to find your zen or whatever, when Nat called out yet another instruction. "Those of you who are not in downward dog: I want you to take hold of your partner's hips and pull them back toward you" she directed. You waited a few moments, but never felt Bucky's hands come to meet your sides. "Pssst, Barnes" you whispered, "you gonna participate?"

His hands reluctantly gripped your hips and pulled them slowly toward his body. Suddenly, it seemed like he couldn't stay still; he was constantly shifting and fidgeting every other second. "You good, Buck?" you heard Sam whisper from one mat over. Bucky stammered for a second, searching for his words, and then lowered his voice to an almost inaudible whisper. You strained to make out what he was saying, but all you caught was "I shouldn't have worn sweatpants". Sam erupted with laughter and you felt Bucky's hands release from your hips suddenly.

You watched as Bucky hurried out of the gym and toward the elevator, no doubt going to hide out in his room. Quickly, you rose from downward dog and experienced an immediate head rush. Nat was there to keep you from stumbling as she leaned over to Sam, asking what had made Bucky ditch with no explanation. Sam's quiet answer caused an uproarious laugh to escape from Nat's throat, and the two of them shot you a look almost in unison.

Confused, you headed for the exit in pursuit of your partner. You had no idea what could've caused him to leave so suddenly and you were determined to find out.

When you arrived at Bucky's door, you gave it three knocks and called out to him gently. He had had semi-frequent panic attacks and if he was in the midst of one, you didn't want to make it any worse. After what seemed like a long time, Bucky opened the door a crack and leaned his head out. He was clearly avoiding eye contact with you and had a nervous smile plastered across his face. "Um, hey" you murmured, "are you okay? You ran outta there kinda fast...made me worry".

He let out an awkward chuckle and his face slowly began turning scarlet. "Oh, yeah, I'm fine-I'm okay. Didn't mean to worry you," he stammered, "I just, uhhh...something came up". You stood there quietly, waiting for him to elaborate. But he never did.

"Um, alright. So... is everything okay now?" you asked. His face grew even redder and he began chewing on the inside of his cheek as part of a nervous habit. "You can tell me, Buck. What's going on?" You waited a few more moments in silence before Bucky let out a deep groan and rested his forehead against his bedroom door, shutting his eyes for a moment.

"Um, okay...I don't want to make you feel weird, but um", he mumbled, "when I say something came up, I mean that...literally." He made a small motion with his eyes, indicating that his problem was located...downward. Now your face was the one getting redder by the second and your heart began to pound wildly. "It's not- I'm not trying to make you uncomfortable…" Bucky stammered. "I just-I had to grab your hips and pull them toward me and- you just look so good in those leggings and honestly t's my fault for wearing these fucking sweatpants".

An unexpected laugh left your mouth and you shook your head. "I'm not uncomfortable, Buck," you murmured. "Um, how’s your situation doing now?" Bucky's mouth ran dry and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't seem to form a full sentence. "Oh, it's um-I mean, I'm...I'm still-" You laughed again at how not-smooth he was. "I was just about to take a shower," he finally managed to get out.

Your heart began to pound as you thought of Bucky in the shower, and butterflies swarmed in your stomach. "Oh…I need to shower too, actually. Sweaty from yoga, ya know?" you murmured. "I guess I'll just have to walk all the way back to my room...unless, I could just join you? Ya know, we’d save water that way…”

Before you realized what was happening, Bucky's strong arms were wrapped around your waist, pulling you into his room. "Well I'd hate for you to have to walk all that way, doll," he whispered against your neck, his stubble prickling at your sensitive skin. He slammed the door behind you and pressed you up against it, pulling you in for a deep, hungry kiss. "And after all, we are partners," you whispered, “let me show you what you missed in class”.

[akiizayoi4869]

ooh okay here's something that may or may not be unpopular: in some ways (in SOME ways. not all ways) the reason I want the fire siblings to reconcile is just as much for zuko's character arc as it is for azula's. I think originally before I got really into azula's character & I had just watched the show that's all it was about for me. I think it should be obvious I've changed my tune lol now azula is my fave character, but I still find it unsatisfying that zuko never learned to see himself outside of what he represented compared to his sister. he deserved an arc where he realized that he's his own person & also where he learned to view his sister as human & reconnect with the only family he has left who isn't uh. ozai. obviously in our little corner we all agree azula deserved better but it's been on my mind lately that zuko did too tbh. idk if that's unpopular (well, loving zuko isn't at all unpopular ofc, but maybe the specifics of what I'm saying are. I really don't know lol)

I completely agree with this. That was one of my biggest issues with his redemption arc, aside from him not learning to actually think for himself instead of just hanging onto Iroh's every word. Zuko not coming out of the abusive mindset that Ozai implanted in him, and what Iroh encouraged, was a huge letdown. If we're supposed to see that he's realized that his father was an abusive asshole and he didn't deserve that kind of treatment, then why not have him come to the realization that he doesn't have to measure his self worth based on what his sister can do? Zuko eventually coming to the realization that he is his own person, that Azula is her own person and not just the perfect princess that he's been raised to see her as, would have been a satisfying end to his arc. THAT would have really driven the point home that he did indeed change: he learned to let go of his toxic masculinity issues that he had in regards to Azula, realized that Ozai was wrong with the whole born lucky bullshit, realized that not everything that Iroh says is necessarily true or right, and he shows that he actually cares about his little sister. Of course we couldn't get this because the jolly old war santa/ Jesus Iroh had other ideas and decided to instigate an already toxic sibling rivalry, all because he saw his 14 year old niece as nothing more than an obstacle, a stepping stone that needed to be crushed so that Zuko could realize his true destiny. Instead of, you know, actually seeing her as her own fucking person and not just Ozai 2.0. And this is definitely an unpopular opinion with the vast majority of this fandom since they all seem to think that Zuko's redemption arc was the best one ever.

[theconstitutionisgayculture]

Do you listen to podcasts? I’ve been watching to You Are Here hosted by Sydney Watson and Elijah Schaffer a lot lately and usually I end up liking their guests. They host a wide variety of people with different views and I enjoy the conversation and learning in depth about how other people around the country view politics and their various ideas for solutions. I’m listening to their most recent episode as of 12/4/21 and I really want to be able to at least finish the episode before making judgments on their guests but one of them is an anarchist who seems to think anarchy means small government and the other is keeps going on tangents about how he believes tyranny is Good Actually if, say, Trump was the ruling tyrant. He also explicitly stated that he believes women are inherently inferior to men specifically because Eve was created from Adam’s rib which is… yikes. Honestly this ask is more a vent than anything else. I really like Sydney and Branden(I think he’s their producer? Not sure what his job title is be he throws in commentary sometimes and manages the tech) Elijah can be a little crass and there are some things I just outright disagree with him on, like the belief that being gay is a choice even if mostly subconscious??? Which is something he said on his show Slightly Offensive although I don’t remember which episode. Anywho from what I gather I think you’d at least like You Are Here, maybe give it a shot 🤷‍♀️. Sorry for the rambling, I don’t really have anyone IRL who’s interested in this stuff 😬. Thanks for listening, have a nice day !

I don't actually listen to podcasts, sorry. The most I'll do is put on Crowder clips when I'm on the treadmill, but even that is rare. I'd much rather read articles about politics and interviews than listen to other people talk about it. I always want to argue with the people when they're wrong, lol.

Those guests sound, uh, interesting, though, lol. As for the host, I think there's definitely more we need to learn about why we're attracted to what we're attracted to. It can't be 100% genetic or 100% choice/society. I think there's probably a mix. Obviously some people are predisposed towards certain attractions because there are people who are 100% gay and 100% straight, but even within those groups what those people are attracted to varies. Why do some straight guys hate fat girls, and some love them? Why do some gay guys only want twinks while others only want bears? I think there's a lot we don't know that we like to pretend we know, and I don't think the right studies are being done because the issue is politicized from the start. Anyway, that's just what I think, lol. Thanks for the ask and the recommendation, though ^_^

[m-aster-of-spinjitzu]

orange and gold

...I just need more Cole and Vania content, they seem like they'd be great friends.

Basically it's just 'Cole goes to visit her there, they almost burn down the kitchen, and make way too many puns', lol.

Set a few months after Master of the Mountain, but before Seabound or The Island.

Also yeah, I couldn't think of a better title, sue me- I just know that they wear one of the colours at some point, so... 🤦‍♀️😂

Trigger warnings: none I think? Huh-

Also, bingo!! I really need to learn better time management, dear freaking gosh- I hope I'm not too late though? I know it's like half a day late, eek- and I was supposed to post this earlier, but I ended up literally falling asleep while writing it😂

Thank you so much Fabro, for hosting such a cool event!:D Your comments on my fics literally never fail to make my day<3. And I'm so glad that I met so many awesome, really skilled people through this event too - it's been a lot of fun working alongside y'all:D, I wish I'd had more time to interact instead of posting stuff and vanishing lol, but exams be like:////

Prompt: cooking (does baking count as cooking? I realized too late lol-) from @ninjago-bingo 's warm board.

Word Count: 2497

---

Trying to escape from killer dire-bats hadn't been on Cole's to do list today - although the mountains were kind of beautiful.

It was a bit difficult to see them while he was being dragged to his death, but hey, didn't Jay always tell them to be more positive?

That was, until he made the mistake of looking down.

Miles of snowcapped mountains touched the pastel blue sky, but he was more focused on exactly how high he was from the ground.

Great.

Trying to swing back onto the Bounty, he didn't notice a golden-winged blur shoot past the bat, almost dropping their spear in haste.

"Let my friend go, or I'll-"

"Vania?"

She throws the spear at the bird, successfully knocking one of its wings.

Huh. She must've been practicing - throwing with accuracy while flying seemed kinda difficult.

"I'm so sorry!" she replies, grabbing his arm before he fell down too. She winces at the strain on her wings, almost dropping him onto the deck. "I was supposed to come earlier, but there was an issue with one of the mines, and it took forever to-"

"There ain't anything in this world that's managed to kill me yet," he replies jokingly, checking that the autopilot hadn't been damaged. "I doubt an angry bird is going to be the first."

"Didn't you mention that you became a ghost once? Pretty sure that means you were dead-"

"Shh, that's not an important detail," he jokes.

"If you say so," she replies with a grin. "Did I mention that Chompy's been tearing down the palace flower arrangements again?"

"Send my regards to the gardener-"

"Did you just make a pun?"

"Remind me why I decided to visit you again?"

"Because you love me?" she asks stepping onto the ground as the Bounty landed gently.

"I hereby crown you as my platonic soulmate," Cole deadpans, taking her hand. "Vania and Cole-"

"Destined to annoy each other for eternity," she giggles, swinging their hands up and down. "But seriously - thanks. I don't think I realized how much work being a queen was."

"What's it like?"

"I mean - I'm glad that people trust me, and they come to me if they have a problem, but the paperwork is a nightmare. I never get to go outside anymore, I swear."

"Paperwork? Also, you just invited me here for a week. I don't wanna disturb you?"

"Nah, I cleared my schedule, don't worry. And trust me, you don't want to know. Everything requires some sort of official written thing, and it's so boring-"

"Official? But you're the queen?"

"Well, yeah, but I don't really want to change something unless it benefits the people. Not after..."

Her smile dims, eyes straying to the palace walls.

Oh- oh.

"You're nothing like him," Cole says firmly, squeezing her hand. "I mean, if you need to take a break, or you can make your job a bit easier by cutting out something unnecessary, that's just gonna help you become a better queen. You've definitely got the interests of your people at heart, and that's the most important thing, you know? And well, uh, everything seems to be going great so far - you don't have to beat yourself up over someone else's mistakes."

"Thanks," she replies softly, her smile slowly returning. "Speaking of breaks, what do you think we should do this time?"

"You could show me around the city again?"

"You've already seen everything cool," Vania giggles, skipping ahead of him. "We don't renovate much - unlike you guys-"

"Hey, it's not our fault that our city gets destroyed every few months-"

"More like every few days," she teases, tying back her golden hair. "How about we find some dragons to adopt?"

"Tempting, but where would you keep them?"

"They could sleep in my room-"

She breaks off when she notices him laughing. "What?"

"N- nothing," Cole replies, in between laughs. "Jay and I just made a bet."

"On what?"

"How many dragons you've adopted. I bet at least six, he bet fifteen."

"Well, jokes on both of you - I'm pretty sure my advisor's going to throw a fit if I show up with another one," she starts, giggling. "We've got twenty living in the palace right now."

"Twenty dragons?"

"They're so cute! You just look into their adorable little eyes," Vania pauses for breath, continuing her animated gesturing, "and you can't help but wanna hug them!"

"Oh, Jay's going to be so mad."

"Aww, I'm sorry guys. They're just too adorable!"

"...Wanna hear a funny story?"

"Yeah, sure!"

"I actually used to be terrified of dragons-"

"No way!" Vania exclaims. "Y'all have been on a lot of adventures though, so-"

"Nah, we used to have our own dragons at first. They were pretty cool! I just- I'm a simple guy! Huge animals with wings are scary up close when you're barely a teenager."

"Or when you're really short-"

"We're the same height!" Cole exclaims, facepalming in a bit of a fondly exasperated way.

"I'm two years younger than you-"

---

"Ugh, whose idea was this?"

"Yours," Vania grins, sitting down on the kitchen counter.

"You were supposed to help me, not leave me high and dry!" Cole accuses jokingly, staring at all the appliances they'd found in the cupboards.

"'One must always be prepared for new adventures,'" she quotes seamlessly, waving one of- what was his name again? Mulch something? Oh! Clutch! Some explorer he was, leaving them to die in the pyramid - Clutch Powers' books in the air.

"Fine," he sighs, staring at the old recipe book she'd found in one of their back cupboards. "But you've gotta help me? I almost burned down-" "Woah, what? If you finish that sentence with 'kitchen'-" "In my defense, Kai was playing a prank on me-" "In my defense, I wouldn't like to explain how the queen of Shintaro burnt down the palace by teaching one of her friends to cook," she grins, flipping through the pages. "What do you wanna start with?" "Something simple?" "Have you ever tried baking bread before? It's a lot of fun!" "I haven't really had the time, but that sounds kinda interesting."

He skims the recipe, raising his eyebrows. "Wait, why does this take hours? I thought you said it was simple?"

"Trust me, it is," she laughs, adding, "besides, I still wanna hear about all your adventures!" "Uh... okay," Cole replies hesitantly, "but if this fails, I'm so sorry." "Give yourself some credit, you guys literally saved the world! Multiple times!" "Bold of y'all to assume we know how we did it," he laughs, only half-kidding. "Besides. I botched soup once."

"I've botched toast," she mock-sighs, smiling. "Pretty sure that makes us even."

"Lemme get this straight. You've messed up toasting bread, but you can bake it from scratch?"

"Trust me, I don't know either," she giggles, trying to open a brightly coloured packet of... something? Did flour come in packets that small?

"Uh, why are you opening something called 'feast'?" he asks, eyebrows creased in confusion.

"Feast," she echoes, trying to stifle her laughter. "Off to a... rocky start, aren't we?"

It took him a second.

"I already regret this," he jokes, facepalming. "But I'd say that your puns are, uh, gold."

"I've un- unleashed-" breaking off, she half-falls off the counter, laughing so hard her face starts to go red, "a monster."

---

"Uh, is it supposed to look like that?" Cole asks, frowning.

The mixture looked less like the dough he'd been expecting - more like one of Jay's inventions gone wrong.

Badly wrong, he thought, eyes widening at the goopy mess of foam that threatened to spill over the jug.

"The yeast?" Vania echoes, poking her head out of one of the cupboards. "Yeah, all good! It always looks a little gross, and you're gonna doubt ever eating bread again, but at least it doesn't taste like it's fermented-"

"It's what?"

"Yeah," she grimaces, exaggerating her disgust a bit. "If aliens ever fell from the sky, they'd think we were crazy for eating bread-"

"Aliens? I think we're a bit crazy!" Cole exclaims, trying not to laugh.

Vania smiles, then sighs, lugging a huge bag of flour onto the counter. "I can never open these bags properly," she starts, eyeing the the bag a bit warily, "and it always makes such a huge mess all over the kitchen. You'd think they'd make it easier for people to use, right? I swear-"

He jokingly puts his hands over his ears. "I can't hear you!" "But you know that I've sworn off swearing-" she replies, breaking off with a laugh. "Pun not intended - that actually made sense in my head. I swear!"

"No," Cole interjects with a grin, shaking his head. "You don't, remember?"

"See, this is why we're friends-"

"Friends? Is that all I am to you?"

"Oh, be quiet," she shoots back, exaggeratedly dragging a hand down her face. "I mean, sure, just because everyone thinks that we're dating doesn't mean that we-"

Wait. What?

"People think that we're dating?" he asks, clamping a hand over his mouth in a poor attempt to muffle his laughter. "I- I- really?"

"I know, right?"

"Even my friends thought so at first," he confesses, dragging a hand down his face. "I mean, as much as I love you-"

"I love you too," Vania replies, completely seriously. "Even if you'll always be more like an annoying-"

"Hey-"

"Sibling to me than anything else," she finishes, grabbing a pair of scissors. Cole watches, a little alarmed, as she stabs them into the flour bag over and over.

"Is it... supposed to be this difficult to just open the bag? Seems kinda stupid-"

"Well, er, they have this piece of paper with glue that you're supposed to pull away from the rest of the bag, but it never works properly and I-"

"Well, we could always make our own flour," Cole interjects, laughing. "I mean, I've got a scythe? Let's go!"

"Uh, but we don't have wheat growing here. I don't think it'd suit the climate very well?"

"Wheat a shame," Cole sighs jokingly, measuring out the flour (which had, finally, escaped the bag).

"Oh my gosh," Vania deadpans, "you did not just-"

"Yep, I did."

"You're horrible," she giggles, "then again, I was the one who started this whole debacle, so I think we'll share the blame."

"Debacle? Where'd you pick that one up from? Sounds kinda cool-"

"Oh, it's from a book someone wrote about you guys," Vania says casually, pouring a cup of water into the bowl.

"Hey, uh-" Cole starts hesitantly, twisting his fingers back and forth, then breaks off. "Why'd you read all that stuff about us, anyways? Adventure books don't really seem like something you read a lot, since we have similar favorite books. I mean..."

"Well, um..." Vania trails off, clearly uncomfortable. "Uh- I guess, well, it sounds kinda stupid, but I'd never really met anyone my age who wasn't a royal or something. I... er, I didn't want to be left out, you know?"

Cole thinks back to a scroll; a quest, a sacrifice. One that his friends never seemed to really notice, unless it was with horror or flinches. Not that he blamed them, but - joking about how he was much more useful to the team when he was freaking dead than he was before he'd stumbled and fell in the temple?

That had been a bit far, even for his best friend. Locks could always be picked or something, he didn't need to be a ghost to provide some sort of value-

Well, that's not completely true, is it? a small voice questions, and he can't keep his hands from shaking a little.

"Jay here thinks you're the least valuable ninja."

Not enough to be a performer. Now, not good enough to even be a ninja, apparently.

Well, he reminds himself firmly, you don't have to be the best - just stand up to those who are cruel and unjust.

Nothing but a scar that glowed warm orange occasionally left of the whole Cursed Realm ordeal, sometimes it was all too easy to forget - or pretend - that it had never even happened in the first place.

Other times, like when he'd dropped a glass of water on the floor and his hands hadn't stopped shaking for hours, or when he woke up screaming, expecting to fall through his bed again, it still felt like he was trapped as a ghost. Literally - and maybe a little figuratively as well.

Yeah. Yeah, I know.

"Thanks for trusting me with that," he replies softly. "And I'm sorry. That sounds... horrible, but, honestly, you're a pretty cool person, and I ain't just saying that because we're friends. People can be awful, and they can- they can leave, but you don't need to pretend to be someone you're not for people to accept you. I kinda know what it's like, and it's... just, uh, not great."

"No, thank you," Vania says, rubbing her eyes. "You're pretty cool, too. And I'm glad that we become friends, even if wasn't in the- the, er, greatest circumstances."

"Right back at ya. The fall was pretty terrifying, though," Cole says casually, as if memories of that nightmarish plunge into the depths of earth don't still send shivers down his spine.

"No, definitely! I was so sure we were gonna splat onto the ground or something, thank gosh we didn't."

"Yeah..." Cole trails off, reading the recipe they'd been following. "Oh- do we just leave the bowl somewhere for a few hours now?"

"Oh, yeah," Vania answers. "Other than clean up the kitchen, what else do you wanna do?"

"That's kind of you, but, ah, I don't mind. You can choose something."

"I don't mind either," she replies, covering the bowl with a dishcloth. "Seriously, I don't."

"Same here though."

"Really, I don't mind-" Vania breaks off with a laugh, adding, "Well, actually, there is something."

She doesn't elaborate, thoughtfully gazing out the window.

"Well, what is it? Don't keep me in the dark."

"Ugh, it's kinda stupid-"

"I'm sure that it's not- well, unless you want to try to jump off a flying ship with a homemade parachute to prove a bet to someone-"

"Do I even wanna know?"

"...uh, probably not. We're way too crazy sometimes, our Master has a hard time keeping us in check. Your thing, though?"

"Can I give you a hug?"

Cole blinks for a second, expecting some sort of punchline.

"That's your thing?"

"Well, yeah- I mean, I said it was kinda stupid-"

"No no, that's not what I meant. You're so sweet - that's all."

"Well, not more than you-"

"Nah, you're sweeter-"

"Let's just call it a tie," Vania says with a smile, reaching over to give her friend a hug. "Thank you so much, I swear- well, no, I don't, but you know, anyways-"

"Yeah," Cole replies, laughing softly. "I know."

[antirealisation]

That not-really-a-person stuff has been The Issue lately, but the current wave just now was triggered by something that was meant to be a positivity post (on Twitter) lol. About how in a system, one system member can't manage everything alone, you're a system so rely on your headmates, multiplicity doesn't work that way etc. (Note, from a system with DID, but framed inclusively.)

And it's like, shouldn't our system, though? That's why we're not "parts" -- nothing would be lacking, on a personhood level, if suddenly everyone except one of us disappeared one day, not integrating either. We share front not for functioning or anything (I think I've mentioned that that line of reasoning... doesn't exactly reflect well on me specifically), but for respect for personhood.

Before this system, I handled everything myself (... selves). And like, bad example, "handling" often meant not handling anything well at all, but that's not the point. The point is that I'd like to view myself as basically a singlet who happens to share a body with other singlets, and maybe (probably) that's just not correct.

And like, whatever, not all posts are for you specifically, move along. But it ties into worries I've been having around, uh, let's say the possibility of psychiatry paying attention to plurality and going "oh, that's when you give different names to your different ego states :) send tweet."

And when you hear that over and over, it's hard not to question yourself, right? Maybe we are too invested in separateness, maybe I just Accept™, maybe I do some sort of radical redefinition of personhood that nevertheless feels like some mental gymnastics to cover for me no longer being as much of a person as I used to be (and I didn't exactly do a great job at that to begin with).

[neo-culture-mafia]

My Peace (w.ykh)

the cutest boy ever

— Warnings: Bruises

— Genres: Fluffy, warm and overall adorable uwu.

— Words: 1.6k

— Summary: “He used to think he didn't deserve to be loved, and that the life he had was too dangerous for him to ever let anyone in. But you worked your way through his heart and proved him wrong, right when he thought he could never enjoy being wrong before.”

— Requested by @min-inu “I'm new to this blog (I love it) and I'm a huge fluff enthusiast 🥺 Can I request something with Lucas (+ female reader? I don't know if I have to specify) where he comes home from work late at night and he's stressed because a deal went wrong (or something else) but as soon as he sees the reader who is barely awake and waiting for him he feels calmer and she does things to cheer him up (lots of cuddles and kisses, maybe a cute date too). Also can I request more than once if it's not a problem?”

— A/N: I absolutely loved your request 🥺 I was craving for some Yukhei's content and didn’t even know it lol And please, feel free to send in more requests, okay? I hope you enjoy this!!

To say he was pissed was an understatement. When Lucas came back to the base and Kun put his eyes on him, he already knew Yukhei was about to explode. After he got in Neo Culture, Yukhei learned how to control his anger issue, but he still had problems with coping with failure.

“Can I give my reports to you tomorrow?” Yukhei asked, staring right at the floor, too afraid that he would explode at himself if he looked at his leader's disappointed expression. If only he knew Kun was way more worried than disappointed.

“You don't have to do this, you know?” Kun turned his chair so he would be staring at the window instead of Yukhei's face. “Avoid looking at me. Feeling shame at yourself. We'll manage to close that deal.”

“They attacked us. I don't think there's a deal to be considered anymore.” Yukhei murmured, closing his eyes and trying the hardest that he could to not start punching and kicking stuff around him. Neo Culture was the family he had never had. The feeling that he somehow had failed the only people who welcomed him do their own home was barely unbearable.

“We're all alive, aren't we?” Kun questioned, slightly turning his face to the side so he could look at the younger one behind him. Yukhei was still afraid to look at his leader, but as he managed to shily give him some attention, he was met with a warm smile coming from the older one. “Then, we'll figure out something. As long as we're together, we can achieve whatever we put our focus to.” He turned his chair back to its initial position, forcing Yukhei to stare at the floor again as he checked his wristwatch.“It's late. Don't worry about your reports, we can do this tomorrow. Go be with Y/N. She is in your dormitory.”

For the first time since he had entered the room, Yukhei face seemed to be no longer twisted by anger anymore, thanks to the mention of your name.

“She's here? I thought she was at home.” He looked right at Kun's eyes, making the leader's smile go even bigger from before. Young love was really adorable. “Yeah, she said something about not wanting to leave you alone after a tiring mission,” Kun added, grabbing a few papers and starting to go over them. He only looked at Yukhei again when he realized the young man was still sitting on his office’s chair. “... why are you not running there yet? Go! You're dismissed!” he exclaimed, pointing at the door and proceeding to laugh at the sight of Lucas running out of his office.

If before Lucas' heart was beating fast from anger, now his heart was beating fast at the thought of seeing you. Besides Neo Culture, the only person who allowed him to be himself with no judgments at sight was you. You had nothing to do with his lifestyle. You weren’t part of the mafia, and God forbids if you ever demonstrated any interest in the business. Yukhei's mind wouldn’t even know how to proceed with the constant feeling that he could lose you at any second.

The only thing that kept him from exploding when he was in the field was the thought of being in your arms again. He needed to come back and see that beautiful smile of yours one more time. And that’s the first thing his eyes started to look for after he had opened the door.

You were close to his desk, apparently taking some food out of plastic bags, and even if he was indeed almost dying from starving, his first impulse was to run and hug you from behind. Your perfume turning to be the only thing he could smell, blocking all of his senses from anything else that wasn't related to you. He could tell you were tired since your whole body almost jumped when he suddenly hugged you.

“You’re back!” You exclaimed with a smile on your face as you felt your boyfriend's face resting on your shoulder. He had his eyes closed and some bruises on his cheek, but he looked pretty much alive to you, and that was all that mattered. “Uh oh. We should take care of those. Sit on the bed, I prepared everything. Including food, but since I didn’t know if you preferred Mexican, Korean, or Japanese, I ordered them all.” You started to blab, hoping to get a smile from your playful boyfriend, but as he just stayed still, you began to worry. “Baby? What is it? Is everyone okay?” You asked, turning around to face him properly, being careful when touching his body.

As he opened his eyes to look at you, any words he could possibly say just disappeared at the sight of you. Your messy hair confirmed his suspicions that you had probably dozed off at some point of the night. Your swollen eyes tipped off that at some point you thought he wasn't coming back and then proceeded to cry. Your worried gaze confirmed how relieved you were for seeing him only with a few bruises. Your lips saying that you loved him made his smile finally appear as he realized how much he loved you. And he hated the thought that Neo Culture wasn't the only one who he failed tonight. He failed the person he loved the most in the entire world when he didn't show you how grateful he was for still being alive. For being by your side. His favorite and most loved place to be.

You were his personal place of peace. And you needed to know it.

“I love you. Oh God, I love you so much. I never thought I would love someone as much as I love you.” He pushed you a little so he could start pecking all over your face, making both of you giggle at his action. “You kind of scared me for a second.” You pushed him a little and smiled at how bright his face now looked. “There is nothing to worry about. Not when I’m with you.” He replied to you with the words he was actually saying to himself.

The world outside could wait. All the violence, gunshots, and uncertainty could wait. Now, he was with his personal gift from heaven. The one capable of bringing the best out of him. His one and only. His Everything.

“Look, I do appreciate all the kisses and stuff but I won't stop bothering you until you let me take care of your bruises.” You pecked his lips and then started to walk backward, holding both of your boyfriend's big hands, seeing the biggest smile appear to his face. “Okay doc, treat me.”

In a matter of seconds, you were sitting on your bed, having Lucas’ head laying on your lap as you cleaned his cheek bruises with a cotton pad. He had his eyes closed so he could just enjoy your touch, and as much as you loved seeing him relax, which rarely happened, you wanted to fill him in on what you did during the days he spent on mission. Especially when you knew he didn’t like to talk about the missions when he was tired.

"So, I met Mark's girlfriend." You started, causing Yukhei to look at you with a puzzled expression on his face. "Mark's girlfriend? What was she doing here?" "She came here to get a few papers. Something about her and Mark going on a vacation." You shrugged, gently closing Yukhei's eyes with your fingertips so you could clean the bruises on his eyelid. "We went out for a meal together. She reminds me so much of Mark, it's almost like they're the same person. No wonder she's dating him for four years, they really complement each other well." 

"They really do. I'm still waiting for the wedding invitation of those two." Yukhei commented, making you laugh at the situation your newest friend had told you. "Oh, you're gonna have to wait a little more then. Mark almost freaked out some days ago thinking that she wanted him to propose when she actually wanted to adopt a dog together!" Yukhei couldn't help but laugh at how Mark that sounded like. "That sounds like something Mark would do, for sure." 

"I know, right? He almost freaked her out too, she thought he wanted to break up or something." You added, putting two stitches on your boyfriend's worst bruises and letting your hand go and play with his messy silver hair. "I'm done. Now, we should get some food in that belly of yours." 

"What? No, right when it's starting to get good!" he whined, pouting like the big baby you knew he was. "You can take a shower first if you like, but if I know you enough, you're starving,” You pointed at the small desk full of delicious smelling food. "and that’s why I got your favorites. The burrito is smelling especially nice tonight." "You're unbelievably perfect, and that was the lowest punch ever, but I still love you anyway.” He stated, giving you a quick peck before getting up from the bed and running towards the desk. 

                                                            ...

"So, now that I'm no longer starving and smelling nice thanks to that cologne you gave, what do you say about..." Yukhei stopped himself from talking and drying his hair with a towel when he noticed your sleeping figure evolved in a warm blanket. 

I knew you were tired. Yukhei smiled at the view, silently giggling at his own thoughts. There weren't enough words to describe how much he appreciated all the effort you did to make him feel comfortable after missions. He knew you abdicated a lot from your life for the two of you to be together, things you thought you couldn't live without, like your freedom to walk around with no bodyguards. And even though he tried to push you away to stop you from getting too close to him, you two just couldn't be apart. You consciously chose to be with him, and he loved you so damn much for that.

As he laid down next to you, slightly pulling you closer, and placing a soft kiss on your forehead, he voiced out the words with the most affection he had ever put into words before: 

"You are my peace, baby. I will always come back to you, no matter what happens.”

[orange-waterfalls]

Then Leave

Yancy x gender neutral!reader

@spycii ty for the prompt!

A/N: holy shit this took so long lol. I suck at writing angst unless it's with my own characters,,, this is so very bad I'm sorry,,, also Yancy has anger issues apparently. Rated T for some cursing. Angst(?) w/fluff at the end. I'm sorry I can't write straight angst it's too much for me.

Word Count: 2k

---

Yancy was elated when you decided to stay with him. He'd been pretty interested in you since you showed up, and didn't want you going and breaking out. When you told him you were staying, he was happier than he had any right to be. Yes! He got to spend more time with yous! That's amazing!

The first few weeks were great. You two loved talking and hanging out. Yancy could sense the others were a bit jealous of you, but he really didn't care much. You were all he really needed. After about two months, he noticed you distancing yourself. You were keeping a space between you and him when you hung out, and not talking as much. Half a year had passed and you just stopped. You stopped talking, stopped actively hanging out with him, stopped acknowledging him. He was disappointed, to say the least. The other inmates started to be around him more, but he didn't pay any attention to them. He thought of different ways to get you back. He convinced one of the cooks to bake you a cake for your birthday. You seemed to appreciate the effort and started talking to him again. You talked to him about how you missed your family, and Yancy tried to convince you to not care about it.

"C'mon, yous has a new family! We're your family!" He consoled. "Yous needs to leave the past in the past." You smiled at him appreciatively. He loved it when you smiled. So when you stopped smiling altogether, he got worried. He told you about his worries, and you told him you were fine. He didn't believe you. To sell the fact that you were fine, you forced yourself to smile more often. He'd tell you a joke to make you feel better, and you'd smile at him. But he could tell it wasn't a real smile. It was a smile to make him feel better.

It didn't, really.

But he pretended like it did so you didn't have to worry.

You two would always meet out in the yard at the same time every day, but one day, you hadn't shown up. Yancy waited in you guys' spot for half an hour before thinking to look somewhere else. He started to go back inside when Bambam stopped him.

"Hi, Yancy!" He greeted happily. "How've you been?" Yancy smiled at him, slightly aggravated, not wanting to show it.

"Hey, Bambam. I've been alright," he answered. Bambam looked around.

"So, where's the new family member?" he asked. The fact that Bambam was stopping him from finding exactly who he was talking about angered Yancy. He knew you wouldn't want him to snap at his family, so he kept it to himself.

"That's what I was hoping to find out. They's been… upset lately…" he explained. Bambam frowned.

"Oh. What do you think the problem is?" He asked worried.

"I'm not sure…" Yancy sighed, "they's… talked about missing their family…" Bambam scratched his neck.

"You know, Yancy, they seemed pretty attached to their family… maybe it'd be better for them if they left…" he suggested. Yancy clenched his fists.

"No, it wouldn't. They like it here. They don't want to leave," he growled. Bambam stepped back at his violent tone, and Yancy walked past him and into the prison.

He wandered the halls, looking for you. You weren't in any of the places you two hung out. Finally, he checked your cell, where you've said you don't like going. You were there on the bed, curled up on your side in a fetal position. He sighed in relief and opened the door. You flinched as you heard the door creak. He walks into the cell quietly.

"There yous is! I was starting to get worried you'd taken parole." He joked. You didn't respond or even acknowledge he'd walked in. He stood there for a minute, not knowing what to do. Eventually he sighed.

"Ok, can yous just… tell me what's wrong? I've been worried about yous and… I'm not sure what to do about it… tell me?" You don't respond. "Please?" You sighed.

"I miss Mark." You said bluntly. Yancy stood there, not really knowing how to respond.

"Mark? Didn't he… you know… die? Or did he just… take parole? There's really nothing I can-"

"I miss Mark, I miss my friends, I miss my family…" you said, voice wavering. Yancy knits his eyebrows, not understanding what you want.

"So? I don't know what you want to-"

"I want to leave, Yancy." You finally turned to look at him and he saw your red eyes and tear-stained cheeks. He frowned at you.

"Leave? But… you decided to stay!" He started to get angry. "Why would you want to leave?!" You stood up.

"Because I miss the people in my life Yancy!" You raised your voice at him.

"Then why did you stay?! Why haven't you broken out or taken parole or… or…" he was cut off by you.

"Because I'm in love with you, you fucking moron!" You yelled. He steps back at your accusing tone. In love… with him? That made him happy, but the tears flowing from your eyes destroyed that feeling and replaced it with guilt. "You love it here. You love your family. And I love you and I want you to be happy. So I stayed." You explain. "I had a family! I had people who loved me and now they don't even visit me! I am not happy! I haven't been happy in awhile! I want to leave!" Yancy stopped thinking clearly and blurted the first thing that came to mind.

"Then leave! Just fucking go, then!" He said, his voice venomous. You stare at him and compose yourself.

"Maybe I will."

And you did.

You broke out of the prison after two days. All the inmates were happy that you'd be with your people again, but they saw something was different with Yancy. He was more distant. More angry. He snapped at them a lot and made rude comments. Tiny decided that she was going to confront him about it. He had no right to do this to them. She was gonna march into his cell and give him a piece of her mind. That's what she'd do.

She walked into his cell and…

He was there. On his bed. Sobbing into his hands. She could see the tears seeping through his fingers.

And all her plans were flung out the window.

She tiptoed over and gently sat next to him. He flinched before turning away, wiping his face.

"What do you want?" He asked, attempting to sound tough. He just sounded sad. Tiny put a hand on his shoulder. He turned to her, looking at her hand weirdly. She sighed.

"What's the problem, Yancy?" She asked gently. He tried to glare at her, but his lip started quivering and he let out a sob, burying his face into his hands again. Tiny patted his back in an attempt to make him feel better.

"I miss them… I miss them so much…" he cried. Tiny frowned and furrowed her eyebrows.

"Yancy..." She began. She was going to try to convince him to get over you. But before she could, he just went on rambling on and on about everything he loved and missed about you. Your skin, your eyes, your smile…

She could tell this wasn't going away anytime soon.

"Yancy…" She sighed. "You need to make parole." Yancy looked up at her.

"W-What?"

"You need to be good. You need to not be seen as a threat anymore. You need to leave."

"But-"

"You love them. There's nothing you can do about that, except be with them."

"Tiny… I've done-"

"Yeah, yeah, bad things. You killed people. Yancy, I'll be honest, none of us really care about that. You're the only one. We think you deserve to be happy, and if being with them is how that's gonna happen, then so be it," She explained. Yancy was about to argue, but he thought about your face when he told you to leave, and he closed his mouth.

"Ok…"

He turned into the perfect prisoner. He did everything he was told, he didn't speak out of line, he worked as a cook in the cafeteria, he got rid of his shank. He eventually made parole. That was great, but he wasn't exactly sure where to go from there. How was he supposed to find you? He was on his way out when he saw the guy you came in with. What was his name… Mark? You had mentioned that you were roommates, so he figured this was his best chance. Yancy walked up to him and tapped his shoulder. He turned towards him, startled.

"Uh… hi? Can I help you?" He asked.

"Where do you live?"

"Pardon?"

"Sorry… I'm Yancy. I want to find your friend and… I figure… you would know where they live… since you live together…" he explained awkwardly. Mark stared at him for a moment.

"Why do you want to find them?" He asked, suspicious. Yancy blushed a bit and scratched his neck. Mark rolled his eyes before taking a piece of paper and writing an address on it. He handed Yancy the piece of paper.

"Knock when you get there." He explained. "You don't look like a serial killer… this may be a bad idea but… I suppose I can trust Y/N to take care of themselves. Besides, this year's already been weird as hell... I'm sure it'll be fine." Yancy nodded and thanked him. He asked his parole officer to take him to the address. On the ride there, he bounced his leg, anxious for what you'd say. Would you forgive him? Would you still be mad? Would you hate him? He'd deserve it…

"Here." The officer said as they parked near a house. Yancy nodded and got out of the car, approaching the house. He stopped at the door and raised his fist to knock. He stopped, suddenly realizing that he'd rather not have you tell him he wasn't worth a visit every three weeks. He slowly lowered his arm to his side and sighed. He turned back towards the cop car and-

click

"Yancy?"

creak

Yancy spun back around to look at the door, where you were standing. You looked… better than in the prison. Less tired. Less sad.

"Hey! How's it going?" He asked nervously. You weren't smiling, you weren't asking a bunch of questions about him, you didn't seem very interested in him or what he was doing there. That made him nervous. He shifted in his spot. You both were silent for a moment. You crossed your arms and took a breath.

"I thought… I thought you liked prison, Yance." He smiled at the nickname.

"Oh, uh… I…" he swallowed, his throat dry. "I-I like yous a little more than I do prison…" you stared at him. He shuffled his feet. You sighed.

"Yancy…"

"Ok, look. I know I messed up. I know. But I want to make it right, and I want to be with yous." You raised an eyebrow.

"Be with me… as in…?"

"Dating. Yes." He said quickly. You tap your arm.

"Yancy… I don't…" you start. He can feel his heart shattering already. "You're the one who told me to leave the past in the past… that's what I was doing with the prison." You explained.

"Well… maybe… since I'm in yous' present… I can be part of your future!"

"What?"

"I'm not sure…"

"Yancy…" you started. He looked at you hopefully. You sighed. "I'll… think about it."

"Oh… right, sure…"

"You have a place to stay, right?"

"Yeah! Yeah, I'm good."

"Ok, good."

"Yeah… well…bye" he turned back towards the police car and started walking. You stood at the doorway, watching him. You bit your lip before taking a breath.

"Yancy!" You called. He spun back towards you. You grin slightly. "Let's get coffee sometime." His eyes widened.

"O-Okay! Sure!" He agreed. You closed your door. He got back into the police car, smiling widely.

"So…" the officer started. Yancy turned to him.

"Hm?"

"That was the most Hallmark thing I've ever seen…"

"Shut up…"

"Seriously! That looked so cliche!"

"SHUT. UP."

"I thought I was about to hear some romantic violin,"

"Please just drive…"

GOD this SUCKS I'm so sorry

[abbiegail200]

ok les go

absolutely, I love them both dearly, and I'm very thankful for them

my cat lmao

hahah yeah my breakup

a little. I dont like showing skin so I'm always worried about keeping my clothes in place. sometimes when I realize my teeth are showing, I'll hide them.. they're not terrible I'm just not that great at keeping them brushed 😅 .. I also have pretty bad dandruff so I'm always worried about that too 😭

single and sad

uhh no clue lmao

those breakfast corndogs, sausage on a stick with pancake around it yknow

yeah a few years ago my parents made me play softball :| I played for two years. I have a good arm just terrible aim

YES ITS REALLY BAD I vs manage to not bite them when I'm wearing a mask but I still pick at them, idk how to stop aaa

uh? I mean me and my sister mess around but we don't really fight like that so never?

not really.. I did have a small crush on my friend but he uh straight up told me he wouldn't date me BECAUSE I'm his friend lmaoo but its fine, I still cant get over my ex :') lord help me

hmm i don't think so..

myself LMAO

..what do y'all think ._. also all my friends who just dont talk to me anymore too :')

just a cat, Cinnamon Toast. I had another one but we had to put him to sleep in February because of his age.. sleep well Butterscotch

a little tired, kind of excited. I made a friend with a vet in need (he's technically not homeless so I don't wanna say that) and Im gonna give him a $50 gift card as an early christmas present 😊

no lmao we had to be sneaky, especially after our moms found out about the park activities ;)

not scared, grossed out

ugh yeah and smack myself upside the head and tell her to take her fucking meds 🙄

uhh lets see.. I think his house

*shrug* work I guess

No.

nope but I wanna get my ears pierced

math

again, all those friends that don't talk to me anymore weeee

nothing really, its still pretty early

man

god I hope not..we both hate cheaters but i don't know everything in the world..I never suspected anything though

no he couldn't cry and he hated it 😔

my cracked ass screen, I dropped it on the stairs at work yesterday 😭 its so bad uuughh

well I mean my family says they love me LMAO idk about anyone else

PURPLE FOR THE WINNNN blue next

no not really

uhh I don't really remember lol

u h h fuck idk probably my mom??? bro my memory is shit

idk I've never really had issues with friends and I've only ever had the one relationship

again idk

FUCK NO I think the best years so far were middle school to the beginning of high school.. great times

16

no wtf

CAN YALL TELL ME WHY IT SKIPS THE FOURTIES ????

never

gonna

give

you

up

never

gonna

let

you

chicken wings

uhh

ate some beef jerky

relationship wise NO there's no fucking reason, work wise you really shouldnt but if you get caught thats on you

I feel like I am.. its why made that mistake...but also I was off my meds like a dumbass hahah

none

uhh

early/late summer, I hate the cold but I also dont wanna be cooked yknow

yeah again its the COLD I don't like

I guess eventually?

I guess, we never used that one

uh fuck uh my cat?

probably not

family wise we're all really close so we kiss and hug and stuff all the time so no, now.. uh maybe a little..

he doesn't we start dating I guess ??

yeah same guy we have a lot of the same humor and stuff and his family is cool, they even swear freely lmao

my dad LMAO

hmmmmg idk

nice uhh

any of my friends and family but top would be my sister, only I am allowed to mess with her lmao

ok have a nice day bye

70 horrible questions ... Fuck it

01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents?

02: Who did you last say “I love you” to?

03: Do you regret anything?

04: Are you insecure?

05: What is your relationship status?

06: How do you want to die?

07: What did you last eat?

08: Played any sports?

09: Do you bite your nails?

10: When was your last physical fight?

11: Do you like someone?

12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours?

13: Do you hate anyone at the moment?

14: Do you miss someone?

15: Have any pets?

16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment?

17: Ever made out in the bathroom?

18: Are you scared of spiders?

19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?

20: Where was the last place you snogged someone?

21: What are your plans for this weekend?

22: Do you want to have kids? How many?

23: Do you have piercings? How many?

24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)?

25: Do you miss anyone from your past?

26: What are you craving right now?

27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart?

28: Have you ever been cheated on?

29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?

30: What’s irritating you right now?

31: Does somebody love you?

32: What is your favourite color?

33: Do you have trust issues?

34: Who/what was your last dream about?

35: Who was the last person you cried in front of?

36: Do you give out second chances too easily?

37: Is it easier to forgive or forget?

38: Is this year the best year of your life?

39: How old were you when you had your first kiss?

40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked?

51: Favourite food?

52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason?

53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?

54: Is cheating ever okay?

55: Are you mean?

56: How many people have you fist fought?

57: Do you believe in true love?

58: Favourite weather?

59: Do you like the snow?

60: Do you wanna get married?

61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?

62: What makes you happy?

63: Would you change your name?

64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?

65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around?

67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?

68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

69: Do you believe in soulmates?

70: Is there anyone you would die for?