#we're supposed to live in nature we're supposed to be surrounded by it and i think it's normal to

[gougarfem]

controversial take: i actually think therians aren't as cringe as people say and i want to go back to the time where teenage girls wrote essay-long forum posts about their spiritual connections with nature instead of identifying as buggender demipanromantic asexuals with DID fictives of their favourite anime characters. i just don't think it falls into the same category idk

[pa-pa-plasma]

I hate how half of people think "natural climate change = humans cause all climate change" & the other half thinks "natural climate change = no climate change is caused by humans at all"

"the Earth's climate naturally changes over time" & "human activity has caused rapid, unstable climate change" can & should co-exist

[headspace-hotel]

There's a plentiful supply of nature and ecology writers that criticize "Anthropocentrism" and tell readers that we shouldn't consider ourselves more important than other life forms, and then they write things that are like "We evolved to live in Nature in a Natural environment...Long ago humans lived as hunter-gatherers instead of farming and domesticating animals...But when civilization was created, man unnaturally subjugated and modified plants and animals...Bringing them under human control for his own benefit...Man replaces natural ecosystems with artificially created "post-natural" environments...Now humans live in an unnatural environment that is separated from Nature...and i'm like buddy. do you even hear yourself

Since I have access to a bigger library now, I've explored "deep ecology" and "green anarchism" and "Biocentrism" a bit more and what i've seen is still kinda silly. The writers have very thoughtful theory and philosophy of diverse subjects relating to morality, society, power, and liberation, but...they just don't know very much about Nature.

I mean several things by that: first, they're not clear on the boring, practical details of things like food systems and the way construction alters ecosystems, second, they don't try to clearly define what "nature" is, and third, they act like "nature" has a clear definition anyway.

Now nature is pretty much undefinable anyway, a couple possible definitions are "all things that exist, have existed, or are possible in the universe" and "the thing that a forest has that a parking lot doesn't." You can say "biodiversity," but every space has biodiversity, and it's not clear how much biodiversity a space is "supposed" to have, we're just going on vibes. And the vibes are right, in a way; I visited an old-growth forest and it was DIFFERENT than any place i'd ever been in a way that is hard to describe. A flourishing, biodiverse ecosystem is different than a parking lot, a lawn, a monoculture field of corn. They say it's good for your health to be "in nature." What does that mean? At what point does a place become "nature?" How many trees does it have to have?

Something that is so painful to me is when people write "Human activities" as a cause of biodiversity loss. This is an act of cowardice. WHICH human activities? Name them.

A lot of nature and ecology writings treat humans like they have an anti-biodiversity force field that emanates from them. They write like lands on Earth are each contested between two inversely proportional forces, "Nature" and "Humans."

Without any more information, this is ethereal bullshit on par with crystals having energies. I am totally perplexed at the lack of curiosity about the specific causes and details of "human impacts." The division of habitats by so many roads and relentless speeding of cars with no way for wildlife to cross...the dumping of massive amounts of poison into soils and water...the wounding and disturbance of topsoil...these are the "human activities," but we can imagine a world without such destruction, and we can create that world.

Too many essays and papers talking about Nature non-specifically, an Idea of Nature, a Concept that everyone just intuitively knows. Nature is...you know...wildness! and trees! and...well, you know, NATURE!

And we do know! When we step out into the parking lot surrounded by low, squarish buildings and blaring signs and the stink of car exhaust, we know that something is very wrong with this place! Even we find these horrible un-places harsh and unwelcoming.

But it is very hard to imagine something different, because the other type of place, the place that is beautiful and soothes the spirit and is full of life, is by definition the place where humans only go to visit, the complete opposite and inverse of a place where humans work and live! Wherever humans live, shop, eat, fulfill their daily needs, that place is Not Nature.

The huge mistake, is that we believe that it is necessary to have places that are Not Nature. We believe that for humans to exist, areas must be set aside where the very concept of Nature is utterly obliterated.

From this imaginary and dismal point of view, we have to carefully confine our own lives to places that are utterly poisoned, sterilized, made into a hostile wasteland, and leave all the rest of the living biosphere to itself in pristine preserves.

And in this imaginary and dismal point of view, the one that divides Earth into Nature and Humans, it is okay to poison and to sterilize and to destroy, because humans must live SOMEWHERE, therefore Nature must be utterly excluded from at least SOME of Earth.

BUT...WHAT IF EVERYWHERE IS NATURE? What if the dandelions in the cracks of the pavement, the lichens growing on the park bench, the wildflowers on the side of the road, the sparrows in the parking lot—what if they are all Nature just as much as anything else? What if they too are sacred? What if it is our responsibility to see the connectedness of all life and to care for all ecosystems, however broken and hurt they may be?

What if Nature is not distant and abstract, untouched in some pristine place, but always reaching out, digging into the crumbled concrete and gravel and compacted ground, clawing to return to us and bring us back home?

It does not take away from the value of the old-growth forest or the unplowed prairie if we open our eyes and see even the scraggliest patch of overgrown weeds for the powerful manifestation of Nature it truly is.

Nature is not a place or a thing. Nature is the Movement, the Endless Happening, constantly alive throughout all life, the way of all things being family, the way of all things taking care of each other, the way of all life being constantly transformed through one another. You breathe the breath of the trees of your home, you drink the water of the streams of your home, you eat the sunlight that falls on your home, grown in the soil where all things go to be transformed through death into a new form of life, fed by the mycorrhizal network, pollinated by the bees, wasps, flies, and moths, nourished by the bone, blood and manure of beasts, and ultimately the fertile river valleys where agriculture first began, were replenished by the rich silt that washed down the river, which came from the forests in the mountains that shed their leaves to make a feast for a million decomposing critters, which is how the rich soil is made.

In this way they all take care of you, and in return you are asked to Live—to take care of them in return, to live as part of the great family of everything alive, to live, to live

What are human activities...? Deforestation? Mining? Spraying pesticides? Building housing developments? But is that all? Are we inherently a "bad" and "destructive" species, or is our ability to acquire and pass down knowledge, use tools and novel behaviors, alter our surroundings, shape ecosystems, adapt our lifestyles almost infinitely, and persist in almost any environment, simply incredibly powerful for good or for evil?

First of all, what better way to demonstrate a contrast to anthropocentrism...than to compare the impact of humans alone to the impact of an ENTIRE KINGDOM OF LIFE, the fungi????? Of course all of Fungi are more important than one single species??? Wtf?!?!?

But also, we should not convince ourselves of our own insignificance and worthlessness to the biosphere, because in the same way that individual self-loathing can be a way to avoid the hard work of loving oneself and advocating for the love one deserves, collective self-loathing as a species is a way of avoiding the responsibility we have to other life forms.

How can this author not think of a single role Humans play in the ecosystem?? What species plants trees, saves seeds, documents rare plants, rescues injured animals and heals them, raises orphaned chicks, manages controlled burns, digs ponds, thoughtfully harvests in anticipation of future seasons, mercifully culls in understanding of suffering that cannot be fixed? What species writes a new chapter in the genome of the American Chestnut so it can be saved from extinction? What species mends the broken kakapo egg with sticky tape? What species addresses their own habitat with that fondest name of Home?

[ash5monster01]

Hii! I’ve just seen a prompt that goes: “You don’t talk much.” — “I just really like listening to you, that’s all.” and it made me think of Todd Anderson ✨🥰 soo, if you could do something fluffy based on that prompt, it would be great

Enough For The Both of Us

Pairing: Todd Anderson x FemReader

Warnings: fluff, blabbing, minor sadness, mentions of being shy, lack of friends

Summary: When getting partnered up for class, you’re desperate to make this mystery guy your friend. Yet maybe things work out a little better than that.

word count: 1k

Masterlist

College was supposed to be fun. At least that’s what you thought. It had been two weeks and you had yet to make friends. Even your roommate had left you behind, finding a group she didn’t bother to include you in. It had become hopeless, that was until your English professor announced an assignment. An assignment that required you to partner up and work on for a full two weeks. A golden opportunity of guaranteed time to make a friend. Yet with just your luck the name placed beside your own on the list is not a female name. Instead you eye the suspicious lettering of a boy named Todd.

Yet you don’t falter, you take it with stride. Boys and girls could be friends right? At least not in your experience but you had also never tried. It didn’t help you went to an all girls school before this. Boys were new territory, something meant to explore once you made friends in college. You’d just have to do things out of order now, which you remind yourself of that as you start your trek to the school library. The very place you had agreed to meet this so called Todd.

He’s not hard to find, a blonde boy with shy eyes who raises a sheepish hand to flag you down. You shuffle towards him immediately, dropping your school books as you sit in the seat beside him instead of across from him. The action makes him blush while you pull out the assignment from class. “Hi Todd, it’s nice to meet you. I’m excited for us to start working on this project together”

“Y-yeah. Me too” the boy stutters, eyes never quite meeting your own as he turns to face his own work on the table.

“I was thinking we could be friends Todd. I need a friend around here and the person forced to work on a project with me is better than any” you tell him, filling in the conversation where he lacks. You figure with his shy nature he won't put up much of a fight. Perfect.

"Okay" he sounds uneasy but you don't give him much time to think about it as you finally organize all the papers in front of you.

"Not to say I'm not cool or anything. I'm really cool, I just haven't found the right crowd around here yet. If I'm being honest I was kind of upset I wasn't partnered with another girl. Not that a boy is bad but it would be nice to have a girlfriend first to talk to about all the boy stuff. Like you're cute, but I couldn’t tell you that" you ramble, not even a semblance of vulnerabilty as you speak. That's why Todd stares at you with such awe, shocked at how easy it is for you to communicate and not regret it after. He had been better, no longer the meek boy he once was, fading like a dying flame but he also was no where near the level of confidence you were.

"You just did" Todd points out, the tips of his ears burning red as he tries not to dwell on how pretty you are. He had thought it had to be some curse that the beautiful girl he couldn't stop staring at in class somehow got partnered up with him.

"I guess you're right, well either way I'm sure you have some guy friends and get what I mean. It's not like we can share every detail of our lives with each other, it's unnatural. We're so different" and as much as Todd wants to disagree, having only been surrounded by boys his whole life he would have to understand.

"Different how?" Todd inquires, other than the obvious gender difference he wants to hear what this gorgeous girl had already deemed of him in only five minutes of her blabbing and him sitting here and silently listening. If he had the confidence of Charlie or Neil he would’ve asked you on a date already, stopped this silly friend train because there was no way he could possibly be friends with someone who looked like you.

"Well you know, boy, girl. I'm outgoing and you're, well you're just sitting here" you say with a serious look that has a laugh escaping Todds lips and betraying him. The minute the sound reaches your ears his face is as red as a tomato, but she only finds the boy impossibly cuter. Curse you for all this rambling about being friends when you really should've been flirting this whole time.

"Okay" Todd agrees after a moment, nodding his head along and trying to look away before you could see just how red his whole body was from this simple conversation with you. To think you hadn't even started working on a project yet.

"You don’t talk much" you state, looking at him with suspicous eyes and trying to understand the entirety of him. What a mystery this boy was.

“I just really like listening to you, that’s all” he finally says with a slight confidence you hadn't thought him capable. The shock of his words makes your nerves buzz inside you. You knew you could talk to much but to have someone speak so fondly of it was different. Mainly you were picked on for never holding your tongue and instead a boy had complimented you on it. A cute boy at that.

"So I haven't annoyed you yet, scared you away?" You ask curiously, hoping he won't say he was just messing with you. It was possible he could still up and leave, request another partner, and you had humiliated yourself.

"The opposite actually. It's nice being around someone who talks enough for the both of us" the sentence reminds him of Neil, a sad smile painting his features as you let the words wash over you. The most he had said directly to you since you had sat in this seat.

"Than this partnership might just work Todd" you grin and he blushes again, liking you hadn't used the word friend. Especially now that he wanted to be much more than your friend.

"Agreed"

[emeritusemeritus]

George and y/n asking Fred to be the godfather of their (first) daughter

I wanted to carry this on from my Poppy HC so here we go! 🖤

Warnings: mentions of war, previous battle, Fred lives. Pregnancy/ baby.

Word count: 800

When you first started going out with George Weasley, you'd been worried that Fred would take it badly. They'd been a duo their entire life, naturally strung together through every part of their upbringing and their lives. You were in your third year of Hogwarts when you noticed George for the first time, really noticed him. He was an incredible quidditch player, funny and sweet all in one so when he noticed you looking and started looking back at you in a similar way, you were done for.

Your worries about Fred's reaction had been completely unfounded. Sure he was a prominent fixture in your life, your husbands closest friend, sibling and business partner but George had always held a very clear boundary with Fred right from the start that he was not to interfere with your relationship, or you.

Fortunately for George, You and Fred got along like a house on fire, finding that many of the good qualities of George were also held by twin.

Sure there were squabbles along the way, a few crossed words occasionally but you found pretty early on that Fred really had become something like a brother to you. Never more so than when the war was over, all of you dirty and exhausted from the battle. You'd been separated from the twins as they defended the passages and the battlements whilst you joined the rest of the order holding back the courtyard.

The second you'd walked into the Great Hall, tired and covered in mud, blood and sweat, desperate to find George, you'd spotted someone else first. Fred saw you by the doors and instantly ran to you, pulling you into his arms and holding you protectively against him until George clicked on, realising you were there, too lost in his worried thoughts.

You and George married not long after the war, no longer wanting to wait after the war had shown you how precious life was. Fred had naturally been the best man and you'd had a wonderful family wedding, surrounded by the people you loved and who loved you.

Finding out you were pregnant just two months after your wedding was slightly shocking, not having expected it to happen so quickly but you and George were elated, as were all the Weasley's.

When Poppy Weasley was born, her first visitor was her Uncle Fred, followed closely by her Granny and Grampy. Fred's beaming, proud smile was infectious and though it might have been your hormones, it brought a tear to your eye to see the three people you loved the most all huddled together, happy.

Fred visited most days, even just to chat and watch Poppy sleep for a bit or hold her whilst you showered. He'd say that it was because she had so many aunties and uncles, that he needed to bond with her to ensure he would be her favourite. You loved having him there and so held back from telling him that he would undoubtedly be the favourite on account of him looking nearly identical to her daddy.

"We have something to ask you," George says one night as you all sit around the lounge, Poppy cradled into the crook of Fred's arm, her favourite place for a snooze. He was always more than happy to oblige and took great pride in the fact he could lull her to sleep.

"We're identical mate, if you want my dna for the next one that's a bit pointless," Fred says with a grin, a devilish twinkle in his eye. "But I suppose if it's my baby you want next then it's a sacrifice I'm willing to make." He finishes his point with a wink in your direction.

You scrunch up your face in disgust at the thought and Fred laughs at the sight, receiving the reaction he'd hoped for.

"Watch it," George says with a firm look on his face, feeling that his twin was beginning to cross a line. You slip your hand onto George's knee and he grabs your hand, linking your fingers.

"We wanted to know," you begin, looking briefly at George who nods with a smile, encouraging you to carry on. "If you'd be Poppy's godfather."

"Me?" Fred says completely bewildered.

"Of course you," you reply with a smile, not imagining anybody else got the job.

Fred goes quiet for a moment and it's clear that he's feeling rather emotional at the question, his eyes secretly tearing up as he looks down as his niece, seeing her chest rising slowly up snd down, softly breathing bundled up in blankets.

"One question," Fred says a minute later, having recovered from his emotional moment.

"Anything mate," George replies, a little concerned that Fred hadn't accepted yet.

When you see the telltale smirk appear in the corner of his mouth, you know trouble will follow but you listen anyway, anticipating Fred's next joke.

"If you both die do I get to keep her?"

[aois-amaterasu-painting]

GiGS vol. 520 - interviews with the 5 members (2021 July)

Interviewer: This time, with "MASS", the production was carried out over a long period, wasn't it?

RUKI: At the time when we were talking about releasing songs, the COVID-19 pandemic happened, and as I was considering how to proceed, I realized that the songs we had made until then were not something I wanted to listen to in this situation. What I wanted to present gradually changed. Rather than having a specific concept, I wanted to convey the latest evolution straightforwardly. That was quite the aim.

Interviewer: Among the songs born in that period was "BLINDING HOPE," which was released in advance.

RUKI: Yes. "BLINDING HOPE" had 4 to 5 different versions, and it was still uncertain how it would turn out. So, while making various changes, we created it with the idea that it would be the first song for the fans who had been waiting, serving as a starting point.

Interviewer: Around spring last year, when you were supposed to be deep into song production, you mentioned that you hadn't yet created a core song. When the members heard this song, they all felt it was the lead track. How would you describe the elements of a lead track in your words?

RUKI: In the past, a lead track might have been imagined as a song for a single. While it's the standout track of the album, it's also a kind of middle-ground song. With something thematic like "DOGMA," it's different, but it's important that the song conveys the overall atmosphere of the album and the current direction of the band. It's also something that can be listened to as the entry point to the album. I wanted it to be the trademark song of the album.

Interviewer: It's truly a song that represents the GazettE, and it seems some fans are already covering it.

RUKI: I've heard a few covers, and you know the crunchy sound that kicks it off? For some reason, everyone delays it. That's where you have to play it down with full force. That's what I want to say. It was good to have the opportunity to say that (laughs).

Interviewer: That's valuable advice (laughs). Did the other songs develop from there?

RUKI: Yes. "BLINDING HOPE" took an unusually long time to finalize. So, as a sort of reaction, when we started working on "THE PALE" and "NOX," the general image came together fairly quickly. At first, we kept creating the foundational tracks of the album one after another. As we went on, we integrated ideas like wanting to include certain types of songs and thinking about how they would be performed live.

Interviewer: It's an album that makes you really want to see the live performances, and moreover, it's catchy.

RUKI: Yes. We're not an overly niche band to begin with, so we focused quite a bit on the melody and catchiness of the riffs that we naturally have. The early version of "BLINDING HOPE" was extremely complex. There were many other songs with intense structures and very complex compositions. But after that, we aimed to create something simple and cool with a certain momentum.

Interviewer: What was the intention behind "NOX" and "THE PALE"?

RUKI: "THE PALE" came after "BLINDING HOPE," so initially, I was trying to make something that would rest my ears a bit. Then it ended up having a lot of elements. So, in contrast, "NOX" started with a phrase that came to mind while playing the guitar, and I wanted to shape it somehow. It was an extremely simple creation process, and then we added touches like violin for flavor.

Interviewer: "THE PALE" also features string sounds, but the violin in "NOX" stands out.

RUKI: It really does. It felt like the song was finalized because of that. It's something that hasn't really been seen in the GazettE until now.

Interviewer: The track order of the album is exquisite. Especially placing "THE PALE" and "MOMENT" in the middle section, surrounded by intense songs.

RUKI: It incorporates elements of the GazettE's live performances. The dark parts, the spatial elements like in "THE PALE," and songs like "MOMENT," which we haven't really had before.

Interviewer: "MOMENT" is indeed a rare type of song for the GazettE.

RUKI: Yes. This type of song usually has distortion in the middle, but this time I deliberately excluded it, adding a folk-like feel. The songs created later have many elements, so I wanted to do something extremely stripped-down and raw. Also, I always jot down ideas as they come to me.

Interviewer: How about "Daku"?

RUKI: "Daku" was something that happened by chance. When I was thinking about what to create next, I came up with the dissonant-sounding part at the beginning. At that time, I had a slightly grunge, somewhat weathered-sounding melody recorded in my voice memos, and it fit perfectly with that. I just wanted to incorporate a dirty feeling into the melody, but it surprisingly turned out to be something I really liked.

Interviewer: "ROLLIN'" plays a role of continuing the momentum from "BLINDING HOPE," doesn't it?

RUKI: Actually, "ROLLIN'" was initially a ballad made before "BLINDING HOPE." I originally wanted to have a lot of percussion and a bit of a folk music vibe in the album, and I thought of making it a main feature. But then I realized it wasn't right, so I significantly increased the BPM and added the guitars on top. So, the kind of music I initially wanted to make is quite close to the opening SE of the album.

Interviewer: In the track "COUNT-10" positioned at the beginning of the album, there's also an industrial atmosphere that's quite characteristic of you, RUKI. You can also hear a percussive rhythm.

RUKI: Yes, that was something that came about during mastering (laughs). It felt good to return to the original idea at such a timing.

Interviewer: "BARBARIAN" is an aggressive song as the title suggests, with a sharp riff driving it forward.

RUKI: Yes. Initially, I played with it without any particular plan and was struggling with how to develop the chorus. I wanted it to become increasingly decadent. It's not just intense, but also somewhat unpredictable towards the end.

Interviewer: This track probably has the most variations in the album.

RUKI: Yes. Even during recording, there were moments of, "Wait, what was this melody?" (laughs). It was originally all over the place, and I just wanted to somehow connect everything nicely.

Interviewer: Since it appears suddenly in the latter part of the album, it keeps you on your toes until the end (laughs).

RUKI: Especially since it comes after "MOMENT" (laughs). In terms of how it was made, it's similar to how we approached "DOGMA." While making simpler tracks, I felt the need for something complex. Without such elements, the album would feel lacking to me.

Interviewer: The album concludes with "LAST SONG," which has a very weighty presence that carries everything.

RUKI: Yes. I wanted to end with a song that could hold its own more than "BLINDING HOPE." It was a song we put a lot of effort into. I felt it had to be something truly satisfying, and it was a challenging process, but I aimed to create something quintessentially the GazettE. This song gave me confidence in the album as a whole.

Interviewer: The words in the lyrics also seem to be fitting for these times.

RUKI: I never expected the state of emergency to continue like this. In a sense, I was thinking of preserving what we could only create in 2020 and 2021. These words are not just directed at the fans but are also for ourselves, aiming to return to our original state amidst the ups and downs. It's also about reminiscing about live performances. If these feelings can be conveyed throughout the album, that would be great.

Interviewer: When did you start working on the songs for the album?

Uruha: We had our first selection meeting in December two years ago, and from then on, each of us started composing songs. Initially, we didn't have a specific concept when we began production. So, we were making songs as we liked, but as the songwriting progressed and recording approached, we began to see the path we needed to take. It felt like we had reached a point where the goal was unexpectedly narrow. Also, in August last year, RUKI brought in "BLINDING HOPE" and proposed making it the lead track. It seemed like RUKI saw something within that song, and from then on, RUKI started bringing in more songs. As a result, all the songs on "MASS" this time were either written entirely by RUKI or he was deeply involved in them.

Interviewer: Did you feel any resistance to not having your own compositions included?

Uruha: As musicians, we have the desire to create and express ourselves through songs that we want to release to the world. However, when it comes to releasing music as the GazettE, the personal aspect has gradually become less important. Rather than who composed the songs, what's more important is how we create works that will impact our listeners. So, it didn't really bother me that my own songs weren't included this time. It turned out to be a good album, so I'm satisfied with that.

Interviewer: Indeed, it doesn't feel like a solo work by RUKI but rather an album filled with the essence of the GazettE. Next, let's talk about the guitars on this album.

Uruha: This time, there were many instances where we reproduced the guitar parts based on the demos RUKI created. RUKI had a strong will to achieve a specific vision. As a result, while we did change the irregular parts musically, we tried to stick to the approach of the demos as much as possible. When I really wanted to change something, I would throw it out there during pre-production, saying, "I've changed this," and there were songs where those changes were incorporated, and other songs where we discussed and decided that the previous version or a different pattern was better. We experimented with various things and reached the current form after being satisfied with the results.

Interviewer: That's a good approach. However, unlike the previous stereo-oriented guitar sound, there are more parts where you play in unison with Aoi. How do you feel about that?

Uruha: This time, we focused on the sound pressure throughout the album, so I think that's the right approach. I've always wanted to establish the individuality of the left and right guitars, but this time we decided to respect the composer's intention more. For RUKI, it was important to consider what melodies would work against the background guitars and rhythm. Also, this kind of approach was refreshing as we hadn't done it much before.

Interviewer: Even with the unison, the subtle differences in nuance and tone create depth and breadth, and I think this way of handling guitars is nice too.

Uruha: I wanted to highlight those aspects. We wanted to avoid having one person play all the backing tracks or doubling them mechanically. In fact, we tried an approach where one person played all the backing parts. But we found that the sound created by both of us playing the same thing felt better.

Interviewer: I think that was the right decision. Which songs do you think have a strong impression in terms of guitar parts?

Uruha: "BLINDING HOPE" has a strong impression in many aspects. The song starts with an introduction and then the band kicks in with a bang. It was crucial how we started the song because it was our first release in a long time and our lead track. I felt that if this part wasn't impressive, it wouldn't work. Until we arrived at the current form, there were many twists and turns. Also, when this song came up, I reconsidered how we were recording. The recording process completely changed my thoughts and approaches. Initially, we recorded in the studio using a cabinet and stood the mic up to capture a realistic sense of space. However, with the traditional method, I felt that the impact was lacking. So, we stopped using the cabinet and searched for the best way to record.

Interviewer: That was quite a process. The guitars on "MASS" have a clarity and quickness in their attack that's unique to digital, yet they don't sound too close to the ear, which I think is excellent.

Uruha: Thank you very much. Through trial and error, we concluded that we needed to use a cabinet plugin, and the choice of cabinet was extremely important. Also, RUKI wanted to distort the guitar quite a bit, but my personal guitars didn't quite achieve the sound he wanted. So, we borrowed a guitar with active pickups from ESP and used active pickups for the first time this time. "BLINDING HOPE" used passive pickups, but the rest were all active. However, for the leads and guitar solos, we recorded them all using a cabinet. We recorded the sounds that were meant to stand out in an analog manner and the backing parts that were meant to be more in the background digitally to achieve tightness. We valued this front-to-back contrast.

Interviewer: That's a method befitting someone well-versed in both analog and digital techniques like yourself. Since you mentioned guitar solos, could you talk about the guitar solos on this album?

Uruha: I had set aside the guitar solos for a while. I was focused on exploring the texture of the backing tracks, so I put the solos on hold. Towards the end of the production, I recorded them all at once. I particularly like the guitar solos in "BLINDING HOPE" and "MOMENT". For "BLINDING HOPE" I felt I should play an aggressive solo, but the length was quite long, so starting aggressively wouldn't last (laughs). Instead, I thought it was very important to create a dramatic development and changed direction midway. I tried various things from there and finally settled on the current form, focusing on building up towards the end. For "MOMENT," the backing is entirely acoustic, so I decided to play the solo on acoustic guitar as well. From the beginning, I wanted the sound to be acoustic and never considered using an electric guitar for the solo. In terms of phrases, RUKI had played some in the demo stage, so I used those as references.

Interviewer: The high-quality guitar solos deepen the world of the songs. How did you record the acoustic guitar for "MOMENT"?

Uruha: I recorded the acoustic guitar at home. I simply set up two mics and used compression while recording. When you play arpeggios, the volume level is low, and it's difficult to control dynamics. The engineer processes this with compression later on, but I wanted to control the dynamics myself while playing, so I decided to record with compression. Being able to play while visualizing the finished product was the most beneficial thing for me. Also, I enjoyed being able to do everything myself, such as mic arrangement and EQ adjustment.

Interviewer: That's very characteristic of you, Uruha, with your engineering skills. Now, the album "MASS" is a must-listen, combining the GazettE’s essence with a fresh feel. How do you feel now that you've completed the album?

Uruha: First of all, I really want to express my gratitude for completing this album. Production took a lot of time, and there were times when I wondered if we could really do it. However, with no live performances scheduled due to COVID, we had the opportunity to thoroughly focus on recording, and there was also the feeling that our efforts would be in vain if we didn't do this well. So, we put in more effort and spent more time than ever before to create something we can confidently call our masterpiece, so I hope you look forward to its release. However, since the songs grow when performed live, "MASS" isn’t complete yet.

Interviewer: I understand. Because of that, I think there are many listeners who are eager to see the GazettE live as soon as possible.

Uruha: Although I can’t promise exactly when we will perform live, we are constantly working towards it. Ideally, we want to perform live, not online. Even if the venue capacity is halved, we want to do it live. Also, if we do perform live, I want it to be a level beyond just not showing any signs of our hiatus; I want to show an evolved the GazettE. So, when we do hold a live concert, please come to the venue and experience it.

Interviewer: As the work on "MASS" progressed, RUKI ended up writing most of the songs. Did you have any resistance to not including your own songs?

Aoi: Not at all. I thought that RUKI probably had a lot of things he wanted to express and convey, and if that was the case, he should be the one to transmit it. While asserting what I want my instrument to sound like is important, I felt it was better for someone with a clear vision of what they wanted to express to take the lead. Everyone seemed to feel the same way, and there was no pushback like, "I want to do it this way." If it had been just 2-3 years since we started the band, it might have been different, but we’ve created many works, and this isn't our last album. So, this way of making the album was totally fine and an interesting experiment.

Interviewer: Even though RUKI took the lead on the album, it’s still overflowing with the essence of the GazettE. I heard that "HOLD" and "FRENZY" were mainly created by the instrumentalists.

Aoi: RUKI kept bringing in songs, and before we knew it, there were only two slots left. Initially, RUKI and Kai had started working a bit on "FRENZY," but it was put on hold. We decided to work on "HOLD" first as an instrumental group, aiming for a straightforward song that would grow well in live performances. So we shaped it with that in mind before handing it over to Ruki to reflect his intentions and complete it.

Interviewer: The hard tunes on this album are both intense and easy to listen to, and "HOLD" is dark yet catchy.

Aoi: I thought it was okay even if it didn’t have much melody because we were focusing on a “frenzied” feeling. But when we passed it to RUKI, he added a solid vocal line, making it both dark and catchy. For "FRENZY," RUKI and Kai had only made the intro, which initially wasn’t to my personal taste (laughs). I thought it was a bit too pop, at first. But since the intro was a must-keep, we worked on the other parts, and eventually, even the intro was reworked. We created multiple versions for every part of "HOLD" and "FRENZY." So, we were able to make it complex or straightforward, and decided the current form was the best.

Interviewer: Both songs are really high-quality compositions. Now, let’s talk about the guitars on "MASS."

Aoi: This time, we mainly reproduced what RUKI had included in the demos. If there were parts where I thought I’d do it differently, I suggested changes, but usually, we ended up going with RUKI’s ideas after trying both versions. So, the guitar parts are quite simple this time. There are parts where we deliberately simplified RUKI’s phrases, not breaking them into finer notes but making them larger. We have two guitarists in our band. Visual kei twin-guitar bands often create competing guitar phrases, but I felt we’d already done that enough. This time, I wanted to focus on clear roles for lead and side guitars. I was interested in this approach and wanted to experience the side guitar position. I wanted to explore songs from the side guitar perspective.

Interviewer: The side/rhythm guitar might seem plain, but it’s deep and fun when you get into it.

Aoi: Yes, it’s great as a musical instrument. It felt really good. "Feeling good" is a very vague expression (laughs). There are layered phrases, rhythms, and sequences, and the role of the side guitar is to connect them well. In the past, I thought as long as the bass kept the rhythm tight, the guitar could just hit the main points and follow the broader rhythm. This time, though, I matched the drums closely and paid more attention to filling the guitar's frequency range and determining what to cut. This approach was very enjoyable and made me appreciate the importance of backing guitar.

Interviewer: So, you had new discoveries with this approach. Which song left a strong impression on you with its guitar work?

Aoi: "MOMENT." In this song, both Uruha and I played acoustic guitars throughout, with Uruha handling the arpeggios while I focused on strumming. It was a first-time approach, and it was fulfilling. Also, I used the acoustic guitar version of the IR (cabinet simulator) to record the acoustic guitar. Nowadays, when you hear an acoustic guitar in music, you sometimes can't tell if it's live or programmed. I wanted to explore that aspect a bit, so I decided to use IR. I recorded it with just the sound of the piezo pickup without setting up a microphone, and then I refined it.

Interviewer: The gentle texture and appropriate airy feel are pleasant, and it's surprising that you recorded it with only the piezo pickup sound.

Aoi: I did my best (laughs). I only knew the sound of K. Yairi and Martin guitars. But this time, I used the modeling of a Gibson Hummingbird. It has a very beautiful sound. In reality, I wouldn't want to buy it because the care is troublesome (laughs). When I recorded it, it had a more acoustic guitar-like sound with resonance, but since Uruha wanted to go thicker with the arpeggio, I thought it would be too much if I also made my sound rough. So, I deliberately made it thinner. I aimed for a fullness like the strumming of pop artists in Western music, while incorporating a slightly darker feeling from Japanese music. I like the darker tone of Japanese acoustic guitar.

Interviewer: Choosing to make the sound thinner shows a sharp sense. Also, the electric guitar sounds on this album are even more refined.

Aoi: When we first recorded "BLINDING HOPE," we used a cabinet, but the closeness of the sound wasn't what RUKI had in mind. So, we stopped using the cabinet and tried using IR, and finally settled on a plugin cabinet. At first, Uruha used a plugin, and I used IR, but the IR sound became too rich, so I adjusted to match Uruha. I didn't expect the sound to change so much with different cabinets. We tried various amps, but RUKI kept rejecting them, saying "This isn't it, this isn't it." In the end, we switched to a plugin cabinet, and it turned out that any head would do (laughs). The sound isn’t too close to the ear but still has the fullness of a cabinet, making it hard to believe it was recorded direct.

Interviewer: Another impressive aspect of your guitar sound in this album is the wide range.

Aoi: That’s something that changed over time. Originally, Uruha had a wider and more dynamic range. But that reversed at some point. This time, we worked on that a lot. My sound was wide-ranged and loud, so I narrowed it down. Uruha’s sound is more solid, so if we don’t adjust, the two guitars won’t sit well together.

Interviewer: The careful crafting results in a pleasant thickness and spread created by the two guitars. Now that "MASS" is finished, how do you feel?

Aoi: "MASS" might sound very simple at first listen. What the band is doing is quite simple, creating the atmosphere with sequences. While I have no complaints about this approach, there are parts where I feel my guitar might have become too simple. I am satisfied with my role, and enjoyed supporting the overall sound as the side guitarist. However, there are fans who could be called "Aoi enthusiasts", who favor my compositions specifically, and I wonder how they will take it. I feel confident about what I did in "MASS," and I want people to understand that my passion for music and the GazettE hasn't diminished just because the guitar parts are simpler. The simplicity gives me more leeway in my playing, allowing for a different kind of performance on stage. Therefore, if you listen to "MASS" and think, "What's this?" I hope you look forward to the live performance.

Interviewer: Can you tell us your honest feelings now that the album "MASS" is complete?

REITA: Among all our albums, this one is probably the most suited for live performances, so I really want to showcase it soon. The track order also closely resembles a live setlist. When we released "NINTH," I thought we had an amazing tour, so I aimed to create an album that evolved further from there, and I think we achieved that.

Interviewer: "BLINDING HOPE" was released as the lead single, and I heard that it was recorded ahead of the others.

REITA: Yes, that's right. It was similar with our previous album and "Falling" as well. We finished mixing one song first and used that as a guideline to record the others. It helps create a framework.

Interviewer: How did you approach the recording this time?

REITA: I bought a lot of equipment beforehand. Even just with compact effects pedals, I bought around five… Honestly, it was quite an expense (laughs). We had used the equipment from the previous recording and tour extensively, and I wanted to advance the sound further. There is still a lot of equipment I haven’t tried, and I hoped to find something even better. Renting for just a day doesn’t really give you a good idea, so even though it might end up being a waste, I decided to buy and try everything. In the actual recording, I ended up using the orthodox SansAmp. I had been using it in live performances before, but a new version with mids was released. In the end, I didn't tweak the mids much and used it flat, but it fit the current songs perfectly.

Interviewer: I heard you bought a new bass too.

REITA: Yes, I bought two, but the one I used in the recording was the second one, a Dingwall Z3, a 2020 NAMM SHOW model. Initially, I used the first bass I bought for "BLINDING HOPE," but after re-recording with the new one, it sounded even better. Time was tight, so it was hard to suggest replacing it, but everyone agreed the new one was better, which was a relief (laughs).

Interviewer: I see. How did you approach the bass line in "BLINDING HOPE"?

REITA: The song is dark, so I tried not to stay too high up. I aimed for a slightly heavy feel while having the phrase move, going back and forth to lower chords. The bass volume is a bit higher in this song, and I think the bass presence fits the tone.

Interviewer: "ROLLIN'" has an intense sound that promises immediate impact in live performances. It's quite an interesting track.

REITA: I struggled a lot with the sound production for "ROLLIN'." Nothing seemed to click, so we re-amped it again on the last day of mixing. For example, in "BLINDING HOPE," the intro has a ground-shaking lower end, but that's because I’m playing open strings. However, in "ROLLIN'," I'm holding down the second fret continuously, so even if I tried to make the same sound, it wouldn't turn out the same. So, we adjusted it to fit between the kick and the guitar.

Interviewer: The slap bass at the end of the chorus is also impressive, but adjusting the sound with other parts seems difficult.

REITA: Originally, the song had everything up to the end of the chorus. During the mix of "BLINDING HOPE" or something, RUKI brought in the continuation, saying something like, "There's a bass solo, so do it." In the demo, it was programmed, but the nuance suggested it was supposed to be slap bass. However, running it through an amp made the sound too wild, so we ended up using a plugin. I'm still not sure how we’ll reproduce it live.

Interviewer: How about "NOX"?

REITA: "NOX" has a tempo that’s quite different from what the GazettE usually does, so I’m looking forward to playing it live. In the past, I might have thought this kind of song wouldn’t have a great groove live, but after the "NINTH" tour, I believe it will work well. Playing at this tempo feels really good, so I hope it creates a big wave in the audience.

Interviewer: The bass line in this song gives the impression that it's playing the absolute correct answer.

REITA: The phrase itself isn’t difficult, but the picking was really tough. I focused on keeping the pick level to ensure a clear "terodero" sound throughout. I didn’t want it to sound like alternate picking, but using down-only picking didn’t flow well, so I tried to find a balance.

Interviewer: The bass has a unique fret design, right?

REITA: At first, I wasn’t sure how it would feel, but I got used to it right away and didn't find it difficult to play.

Interviewer: The ballad-like songs such as "THE PALE" and "MOMENT" have interesting approaches too.

REITA: In intense songs, there are many unison parts, but in ballads, I think the bass has moments to shine (laughs). Especially in "MOMENT," which progresses with acoustic guitar strumming, the bass can handle intricate arrangements.

Interviewer: Was there any key song that stood out during the recording?

REITA: Ah, for example, I moved quite a bit with the phrase in the chorus of "濁 (Daku)."

Interviewer: I'm also looking forward to seeing how "MOMENT" will be performed live. "HOLD" seems to embody the intensity of a live performance.

REITA: This might be the song most tailored for live performance. The phrase itself is almost in unison with the guitar, so there’s nothing particularly standout, but it has a sense of band unity and isn't just intense; it has dynamics. We shared tracks on Pro Tools and discussed them over Zoom while creating this song. This was our first time using this method, but I think it might be a viable approach for future projects. We worked until someone said "I can’t go on anymore," which was tough but also fun (laughs).

Interviewer: The bass drives this song as well.

REITA: Mixing the bass within the double bass drum parts is challenging. It often gets buried. I can’t count how many times I said, "Isn’t the kick too loud?" (laughs). We approached "FRENZY" similarly to "HOLD." For the bass, I aimed for a cohesive sound without cluttering it, sometimes reducing the picking to avoid interference.

Interviewer: The bouncy rhythm in the chorus is excellent.

REITA: This was quite difficult. At first, Uruha played the phrase and asked, "How about this chorus?" We all played along with the strings, but the drums didn’t quite fit. The bass rhythm is tricky too. Avoiding ghost notes makes it harder to catch the rhythm. The energy should rise sharply, but the hands need to stay calm to pull it off.

Interviewer: The last song on the album, "LAST SONG," feels like a particularly important track, doesn't it?

REITA: As soon as the song starts, it gives off a strong feeling of "the beginning of the end." From the bass perspective, I played the chorus not with detailed phrases but with a slight undulating sensation, aiming for a bit of a driving feel. The intro is tightly synchronized vertically. This became clear once the piece was finished.

Interviewer: With this work completed, do you have a vision of the musical future of the GazettE?

REITA: Musically speaking, I think this album represents evolution rather than a new challenge. When the GazettE makes it, it really becomes a GazettE album, and I was reminded of that again. But I also realized the difficulty of the bass guitar again. This past year, I’ve particularly focused on the bass. I’ve watched a lot of playthrough videos on YouTube and bought a lot of gear. When you buy equipment, you naturally end up spending more time playing the bass, right? I want to bring those experiences to our live performances. However, while I can clearly envision the live performances, the uncertainty of the tour schedule due to COVID-19 is quite frustrating. Nevertheless, I want to keep honing my skills so that we can fully express this album when the time comes.

Interviewer: Did you have any themes or concepts in mind when creating the new album?

Kai: No, we didn’t. It’s always like that with the GazettE. We speak through our music; without songs, there’s nothing to talk about. Starting with a concept is quite rare for us. Usually, as we create songs, themes and concepts naturally emerge. Through the song selection process, we find how to express the current GazettE. Initially, each member was making songs, but later, we started shaping the songs RUKI brought in. There wasn’t a standout song for a long time, but then the pandemic hit, our March concert was canceled, and we had time to reflect on ourselves. During that period, I think RUKI found the concept. "BLINDING HOPE" came together in April, and we unanimously agreed it should be included. After that, RUKI kept bringing in songs, and by shaping them, we completed most of the album. The last couple of songs were made by all of us, but even those were strongly influenced by RUKI. So, "MASS" ended up being entirely RUKI's work, which is a first for us, but it still feels very much like a GazettE album, so it doesn’t feel strange to me.

Interviewer: It’s more important what kind of work it is, rather than who made the songs. Let’s talk about the drums in "MASS." The drumming throughout the album is very energetic.

Kai: Everyone says that (laughs). People often say that, but I don't really feel that way.

Interviewer: Really? The approach of incorporating intricate patterns, fast fills, and double bass throughout the album made me realize once again how amazing your drumming is.

Kai: I wonder... People often say it's busy (laughs). To me, it's just a continuation of the approach I've always taken, so I don’t feel like I’m doing anything special. When I listen to a demo, I naturally hear the drum patterns in my head and then just bring them to life.

Interviewer: It's impressive that such intricate drumming comes naturally to you and that you can actually play it. Do you ever think that a drum pattern you came up with is too difficult and consider simplifying it?

Kai: No, I don’t. It’s important to bring the imagined patterns to life, and if something is difficult, I just practice it. Besides, the other members have also gained knowledge about drumming, so these days, they don’t suggest physically impossible drum patterns like they used to. There used to be many times when I'd think, "I’d need three legs and four arms to play that" (laughs). Now, the drumming is more logical, so with practice, I can play it.

Interviewer: Thrilling songs have thrilling drums, and songs with a sense of speed amplify that feeling even more. Your drumming really pushes the music forward.

Kai: I'm glad you feel that way. I don't know how other bands construct their music, but for us, the speed and everything is carried by the drums. The drum is our standard. First, we create speed with drums, and then we discuss how to hook onto that. So, drums don't really go off into a different world.

Interviewer: It seems like many patterns amplify speed by adding sequences, but your approach is quite the opposite.

Kai: Yes. Also, even if you want to create momentum and speed with drums alone, it's different from just running. You need to pay attention to keeping the rhythm, and especially in intense songs like "HOLD" and "FRENZY" this time, you can't just go with the flow. It's meticulously crafted phrases as a band sound, so you need to integrate well with guitars and bass. If you go with just momentum, it becomes messy. Therefore, I consciously try to play tighter, and I think it requires a lot of attention during live performances.

Interviewer: The rhythm that combines tightness and momentum feels incredibly good. Another thing is that with drumming like yours, sound is also important. The drum sound in this work, with its blend of sound pressure and clarity, is ideal.

Kai: We've tried many different things with drum sounds, but this time we used the same method as on "NINTH." Basically, we recorded separately: just the kick, just the snare, just the cymbals. We record like that, but we also use off-mics, not just close mics. This way, we can achieve the clarity unique to separate recording along with the natural airiness you get when recording normally.

Interviewer: Setting up off-mics is an unexpected approach. However, I often hear that multi-tracking is more challenging than simply playing drums.

Kai: It's really challenging. Just playing the kick alone is quite difficult, and you can't play fills smoothly within the flow. Also, you can't hit the crash in the middle of a fill. So, while rolling the toms, you end up hitting a sponge where the crash should be (laughs).

Interviewer: Especially in Western music, many bands avoid such intricacies and opt for programmed drums. Your skill in doing this live is impressive.

Kai: I wonder about that. It might come down to being about programming if you pursue it deeply. But right now, we're allowed to do it with live multi-tracking. By recording separately, there are parts where you can focus on other aspects. For example, when putting a crash at the end of a fill, you need to keep it in mind, but if you don't worry about the crash, you can strike with edge until the last hit. I changed my approach this time and got closer to the ideal sound.

Interviewer: It must be challenging, but if possible, I hope you won’t switch to programming in the future. So, what drum set did you use this time?

Kai: I used my Yamaha set. It's the oak one I use for live shows, and it's really good. I decided to use it because I like the tone of the toms, and overall, its quality is high. For the snare, I used both Sonor’s bell bronze and TAMA’s bell brass, depending on the song. I like the sound of bronze and brass, and it’s easy to shape the GazettE's sound with them. We really like tuning it low to get a solid, rich sound. I tried various options, but in the end, I settled on those two.

Interviewer: "MASS" indeed has many highlights in its drumming. How do you feel after making this album?

Kai: Through the production of this album, I once again realized that the GazettE is a very forward-looking band. It’s easy to fall into negative thinking, like "we can't do this because of the pandemic," but we took it as a driving force to keep moving. We released a new music video on March 10th, exactly one year after canceling our concert on March 10th last year. This shows the strength we have as a band to reach that point. Personally, I was very affected by the cancellation of the March concert. The pandemic took a toll on my mind, and there were times when I thought it would be dangerous for us to remain silent for so long. I realized how weak I was as an individual. But I was greatly saved by RUKI bringing in "BLINDING HOPE." The way the band picked up from there was truly amazing. I feel that this strength is unique to the GazettE, and "MASS" is packed with the GazettE's resilience and unwavering spirit. So, I hope it reaches as many people as possible.

Interviewer: I'm sure it will. Also, I’m looking forward to your live performances.

Kai: I really want to perform live again. When we perform live, I want to surpass fans' expectations...or rather, I think we must. As time passes, fans’ memories get idealized. We can't betray that, and I also have a desire to always surpass it. So, it can't just be a "long time no see!" kind of live show. We have accumulated something within us, and there's a strong desire to release that. I don't think it will be an ordinary live show, so please look forward to it.

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All translations are ChatGPT Scans: rad-is-more

[06sunnybunny06]

Part 2 (Aren't we friends?)

♡♡♡♡

The next morning, when the sun was just rising above the horizon. You went on a treasure hunt. Why Child could control you so easily by playing his weird games. He seems to be quite good and looks like a good guy. It's just that Childe is your friend. That's the whole conversation.

The ancient map of Li Yue differs significantly from the modern one. Many buildings, at the moment, have turned into ruins. There may be a whole story behind a broken column. In fact, you are now watching the ghosts of the past. It would be interesting to move back in time and compare "before" and "after".

Come to think of it, you've never traveled outside of Li Yue. Before that, your home was a small village, hidden from prying eyes. The parents weren't bad, they just tried, as if they were hiding from something. The villagers loved to live the old-fashioned way. Thanks to them, you had a good childhood, but one question haunted you all the time.- "Why live in such a wilderness if there is a big city nearby?". No one tried to answer. You were greeted only with meaningful stares, as if you were asking stupid questions. As someone who grew up in the wilderness, far from crowded places, you wanted to see a different life. In the city, everything was different: the houses were tall, the rhythm of life was faster, even the people were completely different. My parents didn't really approve of the decision to move, but there was nothing they could do.

- Okay, we didn't break up on the best note, but so that we wouldn't even send a single letter all the time? And what is that supposed to mean?! Did they just forget about me?!

While unpleasant thoughts were wandering in my head. There was a crunch a few steps away. You were hiding behind the trees nearby without thinking. No matter how beautiful nature and ancient structures are, this world is still dangerous. Any evil spirits can appear from anywhere.

Two figures appeared in the distance, looking like masked soldiers. If one of them is a little taller than you, then the other is quite huge. They also seem to be armed. The first one has a gun sticking out behind his back, and the second one has a gun...what is it? A huge hammer?! Just don't tell me that these are the fatuis that are not pleasant rumors about.

"How long do we have to stay here?" - you flinched when one of them started grumbling.

- Until the harbingers finish their work in Li Yue. Our task is to look for traitors, if you haven't forgotten.

A heavy sigh followed. - "Our work is hard in itself. You can simply be sent to another country and not be brought up to date for a long time. Some stay because they are simply forgotten! Fatuis are not liked by everyone anyway. What should we do then? Wait for the locals to devour?"

The soldier with the hammer turned his head. "Watch your mouth. If anyone finds out, you will be executed on the spot. Submission to the Queen is the law. It's better not to say too much."

- And yet I feel sorry for these people. They lived as if they didn't exist. Oh, I would also like to settle in a quiet village to meet my old age in peace, but that's all.

The second soldier nodded. - "Yes..."

- Considering who our boss is, we're not going to get it. They say he's a real psycho.

Their voices could be heard for some time, until they completely subsided behind the dense foliage. After waiting for some more time, you got out of your hiding place. Everything seems to be calm. They're gone. It was eerily scary to even move. Who knows what they are capable of?

You've looked around the area again. The map shows the way from point A to point B and nothing superfluous. It seems that you are close to your "treasures". Whatever it is.

As the journey continued, the familiar surroundings attracted attention. You've seen this place before. I'm just remembering when it was. "This can't be happening." - The legs walked faster. A familiar sight opened up on the hill. It was your native village. Is this really the destination? You were already suffocating from the strain. Childe couldn't have known about this place…

When you went downstairs, the familiar house of an elderly woman appeared around the corner. She used to look after you when your parents were away on business. Today she has been dead for a long time. Someone had to occupy an empty house. But there wasn't a soul on the street. The wind walked alone between the houses, leaving a void in its wake. Now you're really scared.

You found yourself near your house. It became so quiet that even the creaking of the stairs underfoot seemed like a thunderclap. When the hand reached for the handle, the door opened quietly. The house is not only empty, but also as if no one has lived here for a long time. Mom would never have allowed such a layer of dust, knowing her cleanliness.

You were trying to find at least some signs of life with your eyes when you noticed a piece of paper lying on the table. It seemed to have been placed in a prominent place on purpose. The piece of paper was quickly in your hands. A message was written in it:

"Hello, my dear. Congratulations to you! You've won our little game! I would like to see your smile, but there were some difficulties, so I couldn't come in person. I'm sorry, and I promise, this is the last time! A gift is waiting for you in your room!

With love, your friend is Childe.

You were in shock. How the hell does he know?! How does he know this place? Where are all the residents, and most importantly, where are your parents?!

The head turned towards the door. A little girl used to grow up behind her. The walls of the room remember a lot of emotions - from loud laughter to bitter tears. There was a small box with a bow on the bed. His hands trembled as he opened it. There was a silver ring inside. It wasn't just a decoration. It belonged to your mother. Fingers gently pulled it out of the box. Something else was born. Tears rolled down your cheeks when you noticed the dried maroon spots. The legs immediately rushed to the exit. Maybe they were running away from something, or it was all a bad dream. In the morning you will wake up in a cold sweat, not thinking about him anymore.

When you ran out of the house, a sharp pain pierced your head. The unconscious body collapsed to the ground. You distinctly heard someone say the word "damn." The tears continued to flow until my mind completely shut down.

You woke up in a dark room. Although there was a lamp on the bedside table, some dark areas were still difficult to see. The pain was sharp in the back of the head. You tried to sit up when a familiar voice rang out. "Are you finally awake?"

Your body is numb. It was Childe. He was waiting for your answer. You could barely squeeze out a couple of sentences in a painful voice. - "Yes. My head hurts terribly."

The guy almost purred when he heard your voice. So you're more than okay. "One of my soldiers underestimated his strength. He hit you on the head, but don't worry. I punished him personally." He sighed, suppressing his anger. Some fool dared to harm you. Tartaglia made it clear that you needed to be caught and disabled, not knocked out with all your might. Fortunately, he is no longer a tenant.

- A soldier? "there are memories behind the transparent veil. How did you come to an empty village, how did you find your mother's ring in the house..."

His right hand rose involuntarily, revealing a silver ornament on his index finger. You've always admired him. The image of the snowflake accurately conveyed the connection with its owner. Your mother, like you, had the vision of a Cryo. There was a midnight jade in the core, which shone with a blue light in the dark. My father gave it to me for their anniversary. This time it was completely clean.

- Why do I have my mother's ring on my finger?

Chade shuddered. He sighed heavily, sitting down next to her on the bed.

- The fact is that... I don't think there's any point in lying to you. Since you're in danger, it's better to find out everything at once.

You looked at him expectantly as he began his story.

"I am the eleventh harbinger of Fatua, and it is my duty to do the Queen's will. She is the ruler of the Snow Kingdom. Each fatui must take an oath of allegiance, entrusting his life to her. If the oath is not fulfilled for one reason or another, the person will die. Those who shirk their duty become traitors and face the same fate. I have nothing against your parents, but they were previously from Fatua, and I think you know how it ended....

You didn't believe his words. More precisely, they didn't reach you. - "No. This is your stupid joke again, isn't it? Are you lying to me as always?" "You didn't even notice yourself when you started crying again. Everything fits together very well. The puzzle is coming together. Their caution was always infuriating. It seemed to you that a free person should be happy and not be afraid of anything. But they were trapped in their fears from the very beginning. The Fatuis were hunting for them. As a result, they are no more. And whose fault is it? "Are they dead? Did you kill them?"

Childe began to shake his head negatively. "I wouldn't dare. You know, I have a family myself..."

You sobbed, burying your face in the blanket. What's going to happen now? How to live with the thought of the death of your family now. You didn't even have time to say goodbye.…

Childe hugged you. His heart hurt more with every tear that fell out of your eyes. If there was an option not to cripple your psyche..

- You know, I helped you with something.

You lifted your head, wiping away the remnants of your tears. - "What are you talking about?"

"You would have suffered the same fate if I hadn't intervened. The authorities wanted to get rid of all the recalcitrants, but you were not in Fatui when they escaped.

You nodded, and the guy smiled with satisfaction. "I have an idea. In order not to attach you to this dangerous organization as another unfortunate soldier. So I decided to marry you.....Ta-da!"

Your eyes widened and stared at him, but Childe continued. "The Queen has approved our marriage. It turns out that you were born in Snezhnaya. This means that it will be right to return you to the embrace of your native land. My family is waiting for my return. They will be glad to meet you."

"Are you saying that our marriage is my salvation?"

The guy nodded. "I personally buried your parents in another place. It seemed to me that it would be better than lying in a mass grave. Your mother's ring will be our bond. It will be difficult to accept their death, but nothing can be done. I'll be there to help you deal with everything."

You were grateful for his help. Although this is not the life you planned, it's still better than serving a dangerous organization.

Your face brightened, and you nodded approvingly. Childe could barely restrain himself from grabbing you and kissing you. He must not spoil this moment. Everything is going too well.

"I'd like to see the graves." I need to say goodbye to them at least like that.

Tartaglia nodded at your wish. -"Of course dear. You need to visit them so they don't worry about you. Then you will definitely be free." - He took you in his arms again. This is the best day of his life, and it will be even better when you get married....

[thecrustiestpurp]

Genius writing of Pavitr Prabhakar

They made an ass of a spiderman in theory yet he's my favourite out of all of them and naturally I'm thinking why.

Ignoring the aesthetic aspects like his sick design and his distinctive web slinging style. I think it's most interesting how they do this through the writing, the way they tackle his fatal flaw, his fat ego and blind optimism by creating a really sharp interval logic and communicating this within the space of 15 minutes.

We understand that his big ego is all earnest and out of naivite rather than him putting down others. He just so happens to be the best and perfect, and therefore everything is great for him. He was given a blessing at a very young age to be a spider and he happens to be good at it of course he's going to be prideful how can it not be. And why would he not gloat, he's a perfect guy perfect grades perfect hair and he knows that makes him special. Especially considering the rest of the Spider-Verse, having a perfect one like Pavitr is unexpected so we're at least intrigued by him.

But why do we like him despite characters with perfect lives and a big ego typically being frustrated. Using his humour the writers made his introduction it as playful as possible so we laugh at how him you know. One of the first things he says is "being Spiderman is so easy" and knowing he's been at it for 6 months it's super funny. He's also relatable, the successes he points out, skipping working out because he has a perfect body, having a girlfriend her parents don't know about, doing well in school are all things that are relatable to us especially if you're Indian, it feels like a real student who's living their best like. Also playfulness is maintained when they go to unglitch spots thing the collider scene, he treating it with even less seriousness "just another easy day of being spiderman" he says and is subsequently blown up - it's funny. We also can't get annoyed during that scene really being invasive to Miles' attempts and channelling the electricity so he's not being frustrating to us or to Miles, just a little naive. We can get humour from it but we also understand this as a flaw too because of the dramatic irony, we're hinting that he's not supposed to think this way.

They also give him the nice internal logic making his mindset sympathetic by testing it within the movie. In the saving India scene, what's most notable is the line "I can do both" turning his idealism into tragedy when he's faced between saving his girlfriend and saving his girlfriends dad. The surrounding microelements and whatnot making the atmosphere feel dire which contributes to the tragedy. But it's that were seeing the life that he easily lives turning on its head. His mentality given definition as a this it will work out so long as I do it, a noble origin for his confidence. Though he knows he's special but he doesn't think he's any more valuable. "do both" showing no real bias towards to what directly affects him - he can empathise with his girlfriend and recognise loosing her and her dad would be devastating. He's not egotistical like thinking he's better than others, he's empathetic and values the people he saves as well as the people they value. The words "do both" colours his saving as this as being an overexertion, he's unaware of what he can't do solidifying his perspective of viewing this as easy coming from a place of naivite. Additionally he has to be the one to save people - "I can do both" - and this is why being Spider-Man is easy for him, it has to be. This all makes him more understandable and the fact this is clearly failing him and tragically makes him sympathetic. Moreover, we care about the love for his girlfriend and for his people because it was fun hearing him explain it earlier so its even more sympathetic that he's loosing what he loves. I think this also stops being a careful what you wish for where we could reproach him because of the scenery we understand him to have.

It seems more he does everything because he's so loving, and he just so happens to be blessed and stuff. Which is super enjoyable to watch! and this burst of characterisation happens in like 20 minutes so like wowowowoowwwowoowowowowow

Anyway, this isn't the greatest most insightful analysis but I just had to ramble about my favourite boy!!

[deke-rivers-1957]

Charro! Review

Before Elvis could start filming, numerous changes were made to the script. Everyone who has heard of this movie knows about a cut opening scene featuring female nudity as well as the director having other violent scenes cut. Elvis himself was disappointed that the script he accepted ended up changing by the time he got on set.

Fans however were disappointed for other reasons. They supposedly didn't like that Charro! only had one song. A soundtrack album couldn't even be made due to only 2 songs being recorded with one of them not even being used in the movie. Critics were also unhappy as they considered it to be a cheap attempt at a western and panned Elvis for his dull acting. But were those the real reasons why this movie is considered to be his least viewed? Did this movie genuinely fail to live up to the standards Western moves established before them, or was it judged too harshly for not living up to expectations of both Western fans and Elvis fans? Let's find out.

"Charro" is a quintessential Western intro song. The score as a whole is a hit and it wasn't a surprise at all to see Hugo Montenegro was the composer. He is after all famous for his "The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly" theme cover that reached the #2 spot in US charts June of 1968. I personally don't even mind that this is the only song in the movie that plays as Elvis rides a horse into town. It would've made the movie too hokey if it was stylized as a typical Elvis vehicle.

I love the town's aesthetic. The scenery throughout the whole movie is amazing and I'm so glad they filmed on location throughout Arizona and not simply use rear screen projection. Jess speaking in Spanish so the other patrons don't get hurt is a nice touch. Even though the situation was obvious, it was great to see a character moment where he didn't want to assume anything.

Billy Roy getting slapped adds a level of corny that's sprinkled throughout what's an otherwise serious film. It's very odd to have his line delivery sound the way it does then not even a minute later, Jess is being held at gunpoint to mount his horse. While it's true that even serious movies can have some comedic moments, the nature of this comedy here only feels out of place.

Jess' relationship with Vince is very odd. Vince claims that he's upset that Jess left because of Tracy but I personally don't think that's the only reason. Jess claims that he left because he felt that there was no future with Vince. I don't believe that either. There's a certain amount of complexity would give us a greater insight to their character motivations.

Vince reveals that he stole Emperor Maximilian's cannon. Now his reasoning for getting Jess Wade involved makes absolutely no sense. Vince says that one of their buddies got shot in the neck. So Jess would be framed, they put out his name and branded him so he'd have the matching scar. There are a lot of factors that would have to work in Vince's favor for this plan to work. You are more likely to die from a gunshot wound to the neck given the amount of blood vessels in that area and the lack of fat covering the area. To avoid death by blood loss, let alone infection since this is the late 1800s, you would need an act of God to help you.

Vince's plan only works because the writers says it does which leads to a lot of problems down the line. The biggest issue being that he expects everyone who sees the poster to immediately associate Jess' new scar with a gunshot wound. I know the scar is makeup and might not fully reflect the injury Jess is supposed to have, but if we're assuming what we see is what the characters see, I don't think they would see a branding scar and realistically think it's a gunshot wound. Again based on the setting, people should know what a gunshot wound would look like and how it would damage the surrounding skin. Even if they're not a doctor, they at least would have functional enough eyes to know the difference.

I love the scene of Jess taming the horse but man is it obvious at times that Elvis isn't actually riding it. However, him getting water from a muddy river is the scariest thing I've ever seen. Knowing that in real life, water like that would cause so many problems like cholera or dysentery, Jess probably is God for somehow not coming down with either of those illnesses. It's even worse when you notice that he wiped that same water on his wound. Granted a burn wound from a branding iron isn't exactly an open wound, but it still doesn't mean there's no chance of an infection. Unless the writers specifically wanted Jess to use dirty water to wipe his wounds, I would've changed how it was shot so the water didn't look obviously undrinkable.

Now what is absolutely amazing was the weather effects. Seeing Jess having to ride his horse while a dust storm is forming is incredible. I have no idea if they purposely created a dust storm or if the camera crew manage to capture the perfect moment. Either way it's nice to see that this was the real life middle of the desert as opposed to using a soundstage. Having that atmosphere really draws you into the movie. I almost wish it was filmed in that classic black in white film to really capture that old, gritty Western aesthetic.

I love Jess' relationship with Sheriff Ramsey. Even though we don't know the full details, you can tell there's some type of mentorship role involved. It's especially clear that the sheriff is meant to be a grounding figure in Jess' life given how they emphasize the numerous lectures he had to listen to. Even when the sheriff chews out Jess for getting involved with Vince again, he at least believes him when Jess said it wasn't his choice.

Now Jess' relationship with Tracy really falls flat for me. I don't even care that her nude scene is cut, they just have no chemistry. Tracy in general not trusting Jess despite kissing him makes no sense. Especially when she's going on about how Jess is worse than Vince when she doesn't even give him a chance to tell his side of things. It only makes her look flakey to have her chew Jess out and not trust him, only to give him a gun as a means of helping him. I know she's conflicted on what to believe, but it would be best to frame it as a conflict and not something she's so adamant about.

Billy Roy shows up at the saloon and I have no idea what to make of it. He acts all sinister with Marcie yet also acts like a complete ham with Jess. Everyone knows he's part of Vince's gang yet none of the men do anything about it. Tracy is the only one who outright confronts him about his presence being unwanted and Jess only gets involved when he's called out.

Sheriff Ramsey getting shot should've never happened. You mean to tell me there wasn't a single person in that saloon with a gun that could've done something? No one knows about Vince having the cannon so they should have no reason to be afraid. This is an example of an idiot plot where the plot only works because the writers purposely make everyone dumb or inactive. The men dragging Billy Roy to the jail shows just how easy it should be to deal with one person.

I have no idea why we're supposed to think Sheriff Ramsey's wounds are considered fatal. Perhaps it's because the visuals don't fully reflect the extent of his injuries since it's only makeup, but I don't think it was that bad. The "bullet wounds" to me doesn't indicate that he'll die from blood loss. If anything, he's more likely to die from the infections brought on by Opie trying to dig the bullets out.

Sheriff Ramsey swears Jess in as his deputy. The fact that there's multiple witnesses shows that this is official. Since Jess is now in charge what does he do? Actively passes out rifles to the business owners so they can protect their property. And to think most of the town doesn't trust him because he was part of Vince's gang. I can understand being wary of Jess, but once he's actively taking the time to ensure the town's safety, tensions should've gone down. Especially since literally anyone could verify with Sheriff Ramsey that he sworn Jess in himself.

It's now daybreak and we get an idea of how small Vince's gang really is. Unless there's a whole bunch of people offscreen, I can only count a total of less than 10 men including Vince and Billy Roy. Vince freaking out about his brother being gone and one of his guys saying "I didn't wanna wake youuuuu" is one of the funniest line deliveries in this movie. I can't take anything he does seriously because there's just a lot of mood whiplash between him slapping someone then immediately apologizing like nothing happened. Then again it's possible that Vince was purposely supposed to be this way as a way to showcase how scary he really is. That unlike Billy Roy, Vince is capable of having normal human emotions so showing that he's still willing to commit a significant amount of atrocities for money makes him even more dangerous.

Tracy sees Jess at the barber's shop and immediately scolds him for leaving Billy Roy unguarded and not having armed men on the roofs. I have no idea why Tracy genuinely thinks Jess is that stupid to leave Billy Roy alone and leave the rest of the town unarmed. I actually chuckled when she realized that she was wrong because it's hilarious how for someone who's supposed to love Jess, she has absolutely no faith in him.

Because this issue happens throughout the movie, I'm only going to mention it here to avoid repetition. Vince being allowed to ride freely in town is the most nonsensical thing I've ever seen. The townsfolk know that he's dangerous. There's a bunch of them and only one of him. Jess gave them guns for a reason so why aren't they using them? Unless Jess specifically gave them orders to not shoot unless fired at first, there shouldn't be anything stopping them.

The fact that he's even allowed to be in the jail shows just how unclear his status is in this town. His plan to turn that cannon onto the town if Billy Roy isn't set free only showcases that he shouldn't just be allowed to roam freely. So Jess makes the active decision to do absolutely nothing. Even if we're supposed to infer that he needs Vince alive, why couldn't he use his power as Deputy Sheriff to arrest him? He literally admitted in plain English that he's going to commit an act of terrorism against the town. I would think that is a big enough of a crime to put him in jail so he can't carry out that plan.

The Mexican Army arrives and Vince threatens to rat Jess out. Jess meanwhile, continues to do nothing but threaten him back into convincing them to leave. So Vince decides to lead the Mexican Army away from Jess by leading them right to a pass that results in them all getting blasted by a cannon fire. What's lost on me is that this whole scene was kept in despite being the most violent scene in the movie. I know that we needed to know why the Mexican Army just disappears but how can you claim to want a film that isn't very violent yet keep a scene that features a mass murder?

Meanwhile, absolutely nothing is being done to prepare for an evacuation. Sheriff Ramsey's the only one with sense by telling Jess to not be a coward and give into Vince's demands. It's funny how immediately after his wife is like "don't let my husband convince you to let him die because he can't be moved. Set Billy Roy free" as if that would solve everything. Vince turning the cannon onto the town already proved that he's someone who can't be reasoned with. There's absolutely no proof that simply letting his brother go would make him not attack the town. Evacuating the town is the easiest solution to have Jess not give in and let a potential terrorist get what he wants.

It's honestly incredible how Jess is the one who's blamed when Sheriff Ramsey is killed by falling debris, when Vince is right there in front of them. Vince is the one who can tell his men to not fire. Vince is the one who gave them the ultimatum to let Billy Roy go when his actions got the sheriff injured in the first place. But no it's all Jess' fault. If you're going to blame Jess for anything, blame him for not doing anything to stop Vince when he was well within his power as the Deputy Sheriff to do something.

Mrs. Ramsey bringing out the posters as if he's a liar the whole time is pointless. No one in the town except Sheriff Ramsey ever fully trusted him, so bringing out the poster doesn't change anything. If anything it should show how irrational she is from grief because she actually believes it to be true without questioning anything. Tracy even buys into this idea despite supposedly loving him that it makes me not care that she apologized. I feel nothing for their relationship because even though she kisses him, at the end of the day, she didn't have his back when he needed it.

Despite Jess being gone, Mrs. Ramsey still thinks he's a rat when the cannon still fires on the town. What makes it even worse is that, she herself says that Billy Roy being let go might result in the cannon fire ending. Meaning despite being so adamant that Jess should rot for not letting him go, even she isn't sure about it ending. And yet after all this cannon fire, no one leaves town. The amount inaction when there doesn't need to be is so baffling. Unless Vince somehow has invisible guards keeping everyone but Jess and Billy Roy in the town, there's no reason for them to still be there.

It's now night time and Jess has Billy Roy handcuffed around some tree branches. I love the amount of tension in this showdown. The look in Jess' eyes when he sees the cannon rolling down into Billy Roy is amazing acting. Even though the whole series of events that resulted in Billy Roy's death could've been executed better, it doesn't take away from the genuine look of helplessness on Jess' face. As soon as he took in what was happening, he knew there was nothing he can do to stop it. And he felt absolutely guilty about. It once again shows that just because Jess is this stoic character, he's not a man who is completely unable of expressing emotion.

As much as I understand people thinking it's weak for Vince to still be alive at the end of the movie, this was the best way to go. When you look at his relationship with his brother, you know that the worst thing you can do to him is to let him live. Forcing Vince to live with the guilt that his actions caused Billy Roy to die, would be an even better comeuppance than simply killing him. Plus Jess realistically still needs Vince alive so he can have his name cleared of all charges. Killing him wouldn't have helped him accomplish that. On the opposite side, I love how Vince curses out Jess Wade but when he sees the man right in front of him, he does nothing. It shows that Vince is so broken by this death, that killing Jess wouldn't have changed anything. It wouldn't have brought his brother back. So he gives up knowing he has nothing left to live for.

I don't like how the townsfolk all apologize because it feels forced. Mrs. Ramsey especially going as far as to kiss Jess leaves a bad taste in my mouth since she was the reason why everyone ganged up on Jess in the first place. Even Tracy's part feels forced because of how she didn't show a level of loyalty that would make a happy ending feel earned. At least Jess got to ride off into the proverbial sunset knowing his name will be cleared.

The sad thing about this movie is that it had a lot of chances to be good. The concept of a man having to clear his name over a crime he didn't commit is a classic story for a reason. The problem is that the path the writers chose to get there had more holes than the town Vince attacked. It's incredible how one little detail can result in so much chaos. I'm well aware that a novelization exists, but since it was released separately from the movie, I'm not including that in my opinion. To me, a novelization of a movie shouldn't have to make up for details that weren't included in the movie.

Despite all of my criticisms, I still give this movie an 8/10. Even though some of the acting is corny, Elvis' portrayal of Jess Wade is amazing. I know it's a common criticism that Elvis' acting was flat. That. Was. The. Point. Jess is meant to contrast the chaotic nature that is Vince and Billy Roy because he's a man that has done wrong in the past but now wants to better himself. So why do I think this movie failed compared to Elvis' more musical ones? It's because it's a victim of circumstances. Westerns have been done to death and Clint Eastwood was the biggest contemporary name in that genre since John Wayne. Even though Elvis did a great job, he just didn't stand a chance because the heart of what makes a good Western story was lost.

An: Thank you @xanatenshi for requesting this. I understand why he has a following since Elvis did a great job portraying him. If I didn't tag you and you left a note on my previous reviews, please let me know and I'll be sure to tag you for Jess Wade's rank and my next review announcement.

Tagging: @whositmcwhatsit, @hooked-on-elvis, @smokeymountainboy, @atleastpleasetelephone, @stitchlover0112,

@tupelomiss, @vintagepresley, @eapep, @almightybigbrain, @coltswael,

@cieloestrelladoluna, @huhhhhsthings, @arrolyn1114, @peaceloveelvis, @peskybedtime,

@mercsandmonsters, @tacozebra051, @valloos, @ilovequeen978, @elvisvideos,

@presleyhearted, @depressedfairie, @kawaiiwitchy, @swingdownsweetchariot, @ruggednessworld,

@southcarolinawoman, @atrophyingaphrodite, @jrbrandi13, @summer56, @elvismylove04,

@eptodaytommorowforever, @lookingforrainbows, @araiarts, @fharysa, @lett-them-eatt-cake,

@fryb0rg, @wanderlustingtomboy, @slayingjd, @wildhorseinkansas, @somethingaboutelvis,

@jhoneybees, @elvisbooty76, @iloveelvisss, @presleyheart, @anakinsvault,

@illtakeyouhomeagain, @callieselvisobsessed, @50sexyshadesfashionista, @memphisflash, @arianatheangel-girl,

@madslovesmaws, @lucy114505, @presleygarden, @earthbaby-angelboy and @nicferg068.

[silverofthunder]

☆ life eternal ☆

Papa Emeritus IV x GN Reader

summary: Copia’s smile was all fangs, holding that dangerous edge but to you it was like home, old and new.

content: 3.8k words, mystery (kind of), drama, fantasy, romance, friendship, blood drinking, ritual elements

♡♡ part 1 ♡♡ part 2 ♡♡ part 3 ♡♡ part 4 ♡♡ part 5 ♡♡ part 6 ♡♡ part 7 ♡♡ part 8 ♡♡ part 9 ♡♡ part 10 ♡♡ part 11 ♡♡ part 12 ♡♡

This is it. The end. Feels so strange but I'm glad we're finally here. It's been quite a long journey. Not 100% happy with this part but at least the end is what it's supposed to be. Hope you enjoy!

During the next few weeks life returned back to normal – or as close to normal it could. It was easy to fall back in the same pattern you had been living before all the shit with the dead bodies and Sister Imperator had happened. It felt good to live life again and not worry too much about what danger might lie behind the next corner. But of course, you and Copia had needed that break and eventually you had took it in the form of an extended weekend spent at the mantion. You had taken Thursday and Friday off from work, Olivia kindly offering to do your shifts.

Copia had wondered why you wanted to stay there after everything but as you had looked at him with your best puppy eyes, he had had no choice but to agree and come with you. Yes, the mantion might have reminded you of the incident but it was still an amazing place and you had wanted to enjoy of it fully. And there was always time for making new, better, memories.

The extended weekend seemed to go in slow motion and you loved how you didn’t need to rush anything. Copia let you do most of the decisions and he happily just followed your lead but there had been one thing Copia had not told you about, wanting to surprise you.

It was late Saturday evening as he softly asked you to get dressed and as you had done so, he lead you to the garage – you hadn’t even know there had been one, though you weren’t surprised. There was five cars parked side by side – four clearly older ones and one newer.

”You all have cars?” you asked, staring at the line of cars. ”And one extra?”

Copia chuckled softly.

”Yeah, we have cars. Don’t really use them much, obviously.”

You didn’t really know what to say so you just turned to Copia, offering him a smile.

”And you are taking me for a ride now, I suppose?”

”That is the plan,” Copia answered and started heading towards the car on the left. He stopped beside the red one and opened the door, motioning you to go in.

Smiling you shook your head and made your way to the car.

”You sure you still know how to drive?” It was meant as a good-natured teasing and Copia understood it, immediately playing along as he shrugged.

”We’ll see soon.”

You laughed a little before going into the car and waited Copia to come to sit on he driver’s side. He started the car, the engine coming to life without any hesitation, the purr sounding oddly sweet.

”Ready to go?” Copia asked, a crooked smile on his lips. You took a better position in your seat, reaching out your hand and placing it on Copia’s thigh and giving it a light squeeze.

”Yes.”

The route Copia had chosen, was mostly unfamiliar to you but the scenery looked lovely in the dim city lighting. You had no idea for how long the ride had lasted until Copia took a turn to the smaller road, and the surroundings turned eventually completely dark, the headlights of the car being the only source of light.

The ride came soon to an end and Copia told you to get out of the car so that you could continue your way with foot. Excitement was bubbling in your stomach as you followed Copia, his hand firmly holding yours. The walk wasn’t a long one and when Copia stopped, he guided you to stand in front of him, your back pressed against his as he wrapped his arms around you.

”Look up,” he spoke softly close to your ear and you lifted your gaze up to the sky. The moon was shining there, among the countless of stars and you couldn’t help but smile.

”And now look down there,” Copia said, pointing the right direction and you gasped as you realized that there was a frozen lake. To someone it might have not been anything special but to you there was something magical in the sight. The moon and stars shining above you, casting their light faintly upon the lake and surroundings…

”It’s beautiful,” you breathed out. ”Another one of your fave places?”

”Sí,” Copia answered, tightening his arms around you, resting his chin on your shoulder. ”This is beautiful in the summer, too, but I prefer this sight in the winter.”

You hummed, trying to imagine how it all would look in the summer. Maybe you could visit there the next summer to find it out. Though by then everything would be different as you wouldn’t be a human anymore.

”Are you ready for me turning into a vampire?” you asked quietly, finally voicing the thought in your head. You had of course talked about the matter but you hadn’t really asked Copia how he felt about it all. There was a moment of silence and an unnecessary sigh before Copia answered.

”Yes, and no. On the other hand I would love to keep things like this but…” he paused for a moment, shifting behind you slightly. ”It wouldn’t work in the long run if you stayed human. And one thing I fear the most, is losing you.”

You wiggled out of Copia’s hold so that you could look at him. You gently cupped his face and offered him a smile.

”I kind of understand how you feel. I would love to keep things like this, too, but as you said, it wouldn’t work. And that really sucks but so does many other things in life,” you said, then grabbing a hold of the collar of Copia’s jacket and giving it a few gentle tugs. ”I’m sure forever with you will be worth it.”

You could see the way Copia’s lips curved into a small smile and he leaned in to kiss you. Despite the cold air and him being a vampire, his lips felt unusually warm and your heart melted in your chest. Copia’s hands found your sides and he pulled you flush against him and you hummed against his lips.

If you could have paused the moment, you would have done so. The tranquility of it all was where you wanted to linger.

You pulled away in need of air soon and immediately slipped your arms around Copia, resting your head against his chest, taking a deep breath before releasing the air slowly. Copia pressed his face against your head, and you could feel how his chest moved as he inhaled deep.

”I’m scared,” he admitted quietly. Your heart felt like someone squeezed it in your chest and you hugged Copia tighter.

”Me too,” you said. ”I know I want it but my life is still going to change so much. And the turning itself… The whole process, it’s going to be wild.”

”Yeah, that’s the part I’m not fond of.”

”Me neither but I have no other options if I want to become vampire.”

”Sadly no,” Copia said, squeezing your sides. You had a feeling that he wanted to say something more but he stayed silent and you didn’t want to pressure him. You still had at least a few weeks to enjoy things as they were before you would turn. Sighing, you turned around and let your gaze go back to the sky, admiring the moon and the stars.

Copia nuzzled your cheek with his nose and you couldn’t help but smile and when his lips met your rosy skin, warmth filled your heart, pushing away all the uncertainty.

After your little weekend off, it was time to start planning your turning. Together with the Emeritus brothers and Olivia you spent a lot of time outside of work preparing the cellar room of the mansion as it was going to be the place where the turning would happen and where you would spent a lot of time after it.

The cellar room looked pretty much empty now, there was only an older bed left and a table where the blood bags would be. The hunting part would come later as you would gain some kind of control of yourself.

”This looks… rough,” Olivia stated as her eyes took in the room.

”Yeah, but at least tons of stuff won’t be broken,” you said, grinning at her and she stared at you with eyes before shaking her head.

”So… This is really happening, then.”

”It is,” you said. ”It’s wild to imagine that by the end of the week I will be a vampire.”

The look in Olivia’s eyes turned sad and you immediately took a step closer to her and took a hold of her hands.

”Hey, it’s not going to be the end of the world.” You gave a light squeeze to her hands. ”I’ll do my best to learn to control myself so that we can hang out as soon as possible after.”

”You better or I will…” Olivia didn’t finish her sentence as her voice got a bit broken and you offered her a soft smile. She tried to smile back but it didn’t reach her eyes and something in your chest moved unpleasantly. You released Olivia’s hands and drew her in an embrace straight after, holding her tightly.

”It’s going to be okay,” you said and Olivia let out a shaky laugh as she buried her face into your shoulder.

”I’m being so silly,” Olivia mumbled. ”Acting like this is the end of everything. But it feels like it.”

You understood what she meant. In a way, things were changing and it wasn’t going to be a little change.

”It’s alright, you are allowed to feel sad, overwhelmed and so on,” you spoke softly. ”You haven’t really had time to get used to all this as there’s been a lot happening but I admire how well you have adjusted to the situations.”

Olivia didn’t say anything, only slid her hands around your shoulders and squeezed tight, so tight you almost couldn’t breathe and then she pulled away, meeting your gaze. Her eyes were moist as she had most likely shed a few tears but she was smiling, nonetheless.

”I think I might need to take some time off, too, at some point, but most of these changes around me have been positive ones,” Olivia eventually admitted. ”I’m glad I got pulled into this part of the world. Life certainly won’t be boring when you’re surrounded by vampires.”

The light chuckle that left from you, echoed in the cellar room and Olivia’s eyes lit up, her usual grin rising to her lips. You slid your hands to her shoulders and gave her a little shake, making her laugh.

A clinking sound made both of you startle and you turned to look at the open door, seeing Terzo standing there.

”Sorry to interrupt your moment but Primo suggested that we all could head back to the Hunter’s Moon and close the place a bit earlier and spend some time quality time together,” he said and you quickly shared a glance with Olivia.

”That sounds nice,” you said and Olivia agreed with you, then happily skipping to Terzo. Terzo was grinning like a lovestruck fool when Olivia grabbed his hand and started to lead him away. You smiled widely, shaking your head and followed them, happiness bubbing within you.

The pair had grown even closer as the days had gone by and you were so happy for them. That had been the progress you had wanted to see – the pair really was good for one another and Olivia was finally able to experience how it was when someone was treating her right. She deserved only the best and Terzo undoubtedly would give her that.

It was only a few days left until your turning and you were sitting at one of the back rooms of Hunter’s Moon, reading a romance novel you had caught from the mantion’s bookshelf. You needed to think something else for at least a while, otherwise you were sure your head would explode of all the information about vampires you had been getting lately.

Soon you heard the door opening and footsteps approaching and then someone occupied the armchair next to you. It wasn’t hard to guess who had joined your company and with a small smile you just continued reading, waiting if the vampire next to you would have something to say or if he had just wanted to take a short break from the paper work.

You managed to get to the bottom of the page when the vampire finally spoke.

”You seem so calm.”

Your tore your eyes of the book, meeting Secondo’s studying gaze.

”Hmm, I feel oddly calm,” you said, flashing a small smile to Secondo. ”Not what I expected, considering what’s about to happen.”

Secondo nodded slowly.

”Most don’t have the luxury to make the decision and plan the turning so well.”

”I know I have that privilege and I appreciate it.”

Silence fell between you after that. You didn’t feel like talking about the turning and you knew Secondo could sense it as you turned your attention back to the romance novel. You had time to read at least a few pages more, smile rising to your lips as there was such a sweet scene between the two main characters. Then Secondo’s abrupt hop up caught your attention and when the vampire started pacing back and forth in the room, you got a feeling that something was up. Secondo seemed nervous which was unusual for him and you furrowed your brows, a tiny bit of worry settling into you.

”So… Has something happened?” you asked, tentatively, and Secondo stopped, his back towards you.

”You could say so,” he said, slowly turning to you. His body might have been a bit tense and fidgeting but the small curve on his lips told you that whatever this was about, couldn’t be anything bad.

Your brow quirked up, curiosity levels rising quickly.

”I suppose it’s something good.”

You could swear that you saw a proper smile passing Secondo’s lips but it vanished quickly.

”I have a date tonight,” he said.

You blinked, the words slowly sinking in. Secondo just stared at you, a slight amusement evident in his expression.

”Don’t look so surprised,” he continued and you grabbed the nearest thing you could get your hands on and threw it towards him. It happened to be a pen and Secondo swiftly dodged it due to his vampire reflexes.

”And you’re telling this me because…?”

You were confused. It wasn’t like Secondo to just randomly open up about things like that. Or at least you had never before heard him talking about dating people or vampires. Sure he had mentioned that he had had some relationships in the past but that was it.

”I was hoping you could help me.”

”Help you?”

You stared at him with wide eyes.

”Yes,” he stated. ”I would need someone to take care of the bar for a few hours.”

”Oh… So your brothers don’t know about it, do they?”

Secondo shook his head and you sighed, thinking about it. Surely it would give you something else to think.

”But I don’t know anything about bartending…”

Secondo offered you a small smile.

”Well, I was planning on teaching you a few things about it as there is still time.”

With a sigh and a shrug you stood up, placing the romance novel on the nearest table.

”Well then, I guess I can help you.”

Secondo looked pleased and then he turned to leave the room. You followed after him, ready to learn some secrets of bartending.

”You ready?” Primo asked gazing you and Copia in turns. You shared a quick glance with Copia before nodding, your heart beating rapidly in your chest. Obviously now that the moment was so close, you were nervous but you still trusted that you were doing the right decision. Copia’s hold on your hand tightened as you watched Primo going to get some supplies.

The cellar room was dimly lit and it didn’t feel so empty even though it was. When Primo returned to you with a glass and knife in his hands, your stomach made a little turn. It wasn’t nausea, just a thrill making itself known. You watched as Copia took the knife and let go of your hand, lifting it up and placing the knife against his wrist.

He waited a moment before sliding the sharp blade along his skin, a quiet hiss escaping from his mouth as the blade cut open his wrist. Then Primo handed out the glass and Copia settled his wrist upon it, letting the blood drain into it. As there was enough Copia pulled his hand away and gave Primo the knife back.

Then you and Copia headed to the bed. You preferred the rest to happen somewhere more comfortable and when you both sat down, Copia cupped your face.

”This is your last chance to call this off, amore,” he spoke gently and you drew in a breath, shaking your head.

”Not going to back away,” you said, lifting your hand up to caress Copia’s face. A soft smile rose to Copia’s lips and he leaned in, capturing your lips in a kiss. Your body relaxed immediately, your heart feeling all warm and fuzzy. The kiss lasted a moment longer as you wanted to convey as much as you could through it. This was going to be your last kiss a human and you wanted to make the most of it.

As the air became eventually needed, you parted, gaze meeting Copia’s. His white eye shone in the dark, the other changing into its usual shade of red. You felt the claws appearing, his hands still holding your face and lastly he bared his fangs. Your eyes darted quickly to Primo who was standing close by, holding the glass of blood.

The next few steps would be the easiest but after that… In order to become a vampire you also had to be killed and you had discussed that if Copia wouldn’t be able to do that, Primo would step in. You breathed in slowly and released the air, your gaze now focusing on Copia. After a more seconds you nodded, tilting your head and baring your neck to Copia.

The sting didn’t come as a surprise anymore when Copia’s fangs pierced your skin. It still hurt but you had learned to focus on anything else but it and as the venom kicked in, the pain subsided. Copia’s hands were now wrapped around you, holding you tightly as he fed off from you. Technically this part hadn’t been necessary but you had wanted to include this and this time you allowed Copia to take a bit more. And he did, he drank like his life depended on it and soon your vision started to blur.

Just as you felt you were going to pass out, you were pushed back and then something was pressed against your lips. You opened your mouth and soon the metallic taste hit your tongue. But there was something else you could taste, too, only you couldn’t name it as your head was spinning. You swallowed it down and drank more until the glass was removed.

It was hard to keep your eyes open but the soft words kept you grounded as long as needed.

And then complete darkness swallowed you.

.

.

Flashes of your life passed in your mind, fire spreading and burning everything and you tossed and turned but couldn’t move away. You felt trapped and panic started to rise within you. This had to be a nightmare. The burn seemed to get worse and you tried to breathe but it felt your lungs didn’t work. You grabbed something with your hands – something soft, remotely familiar – as the voices filled your head.

They were loud and you felt like your head would explode. The pain had consumed your whole body by now, the flames eating you from inside out.

Stop, stop, stop!

You weren’t sure if you shouted the words or if they were just a trick of a mind. When you finally opened your eyes, everything felt too bright and you blinked rapidly. As you finally could see properly, you realized you were staring at the ceiling of a room.

”Amore…” A soft, this time much quieter, voice reached your ears and in an instant you were on your feet, beside the bed, facing someone.

Copia.

Your partner.

Your whole body seemed to be on alert even though it shouldn’t be.

”It’s okay, you’re safe.”

”Hurts,” you croaked out, your voice sounding so weird.

”I know, my love,” Copia said, eyes full of sympathy. ”This will help,” he said and threw something at you and you grabbed it into your hand.

The smell hit you like a tidal wave, the sweetest aroma filling your nostrils and kicking your instincs on. The next moments turned into a blur but you recognized the hunger and the satisfaction when the red liquid hit your mouth. The burn within you eased the more you drank and as you had drained the last bag, you dropped it to the floor, among all the others and took in the sight.

What a mess it was, destroyed bags all over, blood stains covering the foor, bed, even your skin and clothing. With wide eyes you looked up at Copia who was now stepping closer to you.

”Better?” he asked, reaching out for your hand.

You nodded – you certainly felt better, the burn now being only a little tingle on your skin. However, you didn’t feel completely yourself yet. You licked your lips, only your tongue came in contact with something sharp.

Your fangs.

Copia smiled at you softly while his other hand settled under your jaw and you took a hold of his extended hand. The touch – he – felt familiar, more than anything else in that moment. You let out a sigh, though it felt strange, like you didn’t have to do that.

”It’s overwhelming right now but you’ll get used to it all,” Copia spoke, his voice sounding so soothing. His gaze studied your face and your lips curved up into a smile. His thumb brushed over your fangs, the look in his eyes darkening. The softness was still there, though, love bleeding through like the warmest of streams, and your chest felt full.

You stared at each other for a good while, marvelling in this novelty, and you were fascinated by all the details you could see on Copia’s face, the little things you hadn’t seen before.

”Welcome to our world.”

Copia’s smile was all fangs, holding that dangerous edge but to you it was like home, old and new. Everything had gone as planned, it seemed, and now you were there, ready to take the next steps in your life as a vampire, the love of your life beside you.

This was the start of your forever.

taglist: @nijiru

[thelampisaflashlight]

You Are A Haunted House

[Don't you just hate it when your boss places a curse upon you post mortem? Or, what happens when Bea gets promoted Sister Imperator. Feat. Mountain and Rain.] Below the cut.

There is a notion that all old buildings are haunted; That the creaks and groans are not that of the ancient wood settling, nails squeaking as it expands and contracts with the seasons, but rather the forlorn groans of those long since passed.

Whether these ghosts are real or the conjuration of of an excitable mind is left up in the air, no one has indisputable proof of life after death, and yet, so many hold to superstition, even if they are not wholly aware of it.

Those who hold onto traditions passed down through the generations, despite their original purpose being lost in the relative comforts of modern living.

Few have to worry about wayward spirits leading them astray in the forest, nor need to fear that the creature they are viewing prancing about the meadow is not really a deer, but we as human beings know almost instinctually when something is not as it seems.

And in those moments, even the faithless turn to God.

Beatrix Milne, however, turns to Mountain.

"It's fuckin' creepy is what it is."

Before the pair stands the ruins of the former "Little Chapel" -it never had a proper name before, always referred to as either the small or little chapel- that sits a ways into the forest surrounding the abbey's grounds.

Despite only amounting to a singular room with no roof or even a door to speak of, Bea finds the structure... ominous and dark, though not the sort of darkness she's grown accustomed to working around the abbey.

The forest is still here, and while Bea may not know much about the natural world beyond what is necessary to do her job, she knows this stillness, this deep, unsettling quiet, is not normal.

Mountain, too, is silent as he takes in the wreckage.

"...You think it's haunted?" Bea laughs nervously, trying to bring a little light to the situation, but the ghoul gives her a look that has her stepping just a smidge closer into the safety of his towering form.

"For such a brash young woman, you certainly frighten easily, Miss. Milne." Mountain chuckles, offering her his hand as he walks towards the burnt out building, dry leaves crunching under his cloven hooves, "Not all places touched by man are left with an impression of them."

"There are no ill memories in this place, save for that of its end."

Bea follows the ghoul through the narrow threshold, her boots finding stone where she thought she might hear the soft squeak of weathered boards or damp soil.

The interior of the building is not in much better shape than the exterior; Though, Bea supposes, this may still count as being outside, given the lack of protection from the elements.

A cold drop of rain water manages to make its way down through the dense canopy and lands directly in the space made by the hood of her jacket and her bare neck, causing her to yelp, and the earth giant to snort.

"Fuckin' cold!" she hisses, shaking her shoulders as she feels the water trickle down her back, "Remind me why we're out here again??"

"A bit of water isn't the end of the world." Mountain smirks, earning a harrumph from the small woman, "In order to properly care of the grounds in my absence-"

Bea narrows her eyes at him.

"-Which I know you're already doing just fine-" he adds quickly to avoid starting an argument, "You need to be more acquainted with the parts of the property that you weren't allowed to visit before."

"Now that Sister Imperator has..." he inhales deeply, "...gone to see the father... It has fallen to Papa... Frater Imperator to decide how the staff will manage things in her absence."

"...I don't know whether I'm being promoted or being set up right now, Mountain." Bea says after a moment of quiet contemplation, "Sister Imperator forbade me from coming out this way for the sake of my personal safety, I don't think Copia changing his title means I am any safer here now than I was before..."

"It's true that parts of the grounds are more dangerous than others, and that this place is no exception, but if you want to stay-"

"-I do." she interrupts, then frets, "I-Is that old man thinking of kicking me out??"

Mountain stiffens, "I, well... He..."

"Does he think I'm not capable of doing my job??"

"No, but-"

"Mountain, I can't lose this fucking job." Bea pleads, grabbing hold of the front of Mountain's shirt, "I can't fucking go back to-"

"Bea." Mountain grabs her shoulders, "I am doing this so you don't have to worry about that."

"...What... What are you going to do?" she asks, feeling the air around her grow cold, "Mountain, what is this? Mountain, I'm scared-"

"Just close your eyes and it will all be over soon..." he whispers, moving his hand up to cup her face, "...Just..."

"-Wake up already!"

Bea bolts upright in bed, her eyes searching the dark expanse of her bedroom, coughing a little as she groans and falls back down onto the mattress, cringing when she's met by the pool of sweat that had gathered beneath her in her sleep.

"Fuck..." she wheezes out, "That was a fucking stupid nightmare..."

She coughs again, pulling herself upright and kicking her feet over the side of the bed, "Water..."

Wandering over to the sink, Bea turns on the tap and runs it for a short while until the water turns cold, rinsing out the mug she used for her tea earlier before filling it up.

She stares out the window as she drinks, eyes trained on the lake beyond her garden gate.

Slightly obscured by the waves rolling over the water from, Bea can see the shine of Rain's scales growing beneath the surface, and stares quietly as the ghoul slithers about in his beastly form.

It's an oddly soothing sight for what it is; A monster, impossibly large and frightening making its presence known to her, because he somehow always knows when she's awake... but Bea will take comfort where she can find it.

Lately -at least since Sister Imperator's passing- Bea's been feeling... out of sorts.

She has to wonder if the spell the older woman had cast upon her were beginning to fade now that she was gone.

Bea thinks of her nightmare, and the many more that came before it.

Oddly specific, always featuring Mountain, always ending in... not quite death but something akin to it.

She's not sure how to describe the sensation.

With a spluttering cough, she is brought back to the present, having inhaled a bit of her water trying not to spit out the contents in her mouth, but unable to swallow.

She stands over the sink hacking and wheezing for a solid minute before she manages to get her lungs to cooperate with her, again.

She swallows and goes to pour the rest of her drink down the drain, when she notices a splattering of dark liquid standing out against the metal; Acrid and watery, so dark it almost seems black until she pushes herself away from the counter and her shadow moves, revealing the rosy red hue of it.

Blood.

She brings a hand to her lips, feeling it stick to her thumb as she tries to wipe her mouth clean.

It's not... She's not...

What is this?

Why is this...

Why is this happening?

And then suddenly...

"Mountain?" she calls out weakly, looking towards the door, and she can almost see him in her head, hand poised to knock, now frozen in confusion.

"...How did you...?"

And then she can see him.

As if she's standing on the porch beside him, like she's outside, she can even feel the night air on her overwarm skin, and-

"...Mount, I think I'm gonna throw up..."

[personwithatophat]

everyone always insists ranboo is the "hero." Showfall dubs them the hero so the audience is okay with it. A hero is supposed to have trials, right?

What if this version of ranboo is actually like... a bad person and Showfall basically put them in purgatory to make up for it? Showfall insists he responded "naturally." Screw some kind of major happy time filter, it just allowed ranboo to behave as per usual not thinking anything more for it

Now we're cooking with gas! excellent question and theory Both of these points are actually incredible examples of audience manipulation that is written into genloss. This is the general idea that showfall doesn't nessesarily have to convince us that what we're seeing is what's really happening, just so long as the characters believe it's real and the surrounding supports it. To the first point, The Hero feels more like a title of mockery. Ranboo gets puppeteered, strung along, and actively has a hand in several of the shows deaths because showfall prompted him to. Ranboo tears into charlie Ranboo points ethan to the wrong door He shoves austin into harms way He abandons sneeg to the sharkicklester etc etc etc. Through the show, ranboo portrays more like a survivor who proves that when his back is to the wall, he will choose to save himself instead of others. but that he does so with tremendous guilt. this is another reason why the end was so poignant, because he believes he killed these people. As soon as escape clearly wasn't an option he preferred not to live then continue on if the sacrifice wasn't worth it. As for ranboo 'acting natural', this would actually be part of The Filter. The filter doesn't just make things look different, it's the live censoring of information that not only we experience but the cast themselves. The filter is why they can't see past the fourth wall, it's the reason why ranboo can get driven around by us instead of solving puzzles the way you typically would, it changes the perception of how they view the world around them. one way to think of it is like in a dream when weird things happen but you just don't question it? kind of the same idea. it keeps the cast in line and the show running smoothly without having a huge chunk of the plot being dedicated to "how did I end up in a warehouse, why does this door travel to hell, why do my eyes hurt if I look at the fourth wall" This kind of audience manipulation is what I mean when I say if the characters act normal then the audience perceives it as normal. if you're interested in more stuff like that, I made a bunch of other theories like cutscene theory that go against that grain of what showfall shows us so check them out if you're interested :) Remember that we have no reliable narrators, any information we see is being curated, and that they WILL lie to you!

-Tophat

[bad-as-me]

i think in the best timeline, the dlc is trying to say that jar burials and erdtree burials started off with the same intent - "the cycle of death and rebirth, taken into the hands of mortal men".

its possible that not unlike the golden order, this intent was corrupted over time or one subsection of zealots took the process and committed atrocities with it

that said

i think a big theme in this story, one that might supercede the cycle of violence angle, is the flawed thinking of one person or one group believing they know whats best for others. manipulating or using them for the supposed "greater good"

i think the hornsent/crucible (and possibly certain groups of shamans, see the Greatjar helmet) genuinely believed this form of death was a good thing to do for people. they see life as this intermingled thing, where the holiest of beings are ones that have aspects of every part of nature. they're more than comfortable with death, given the many rituals surrounding it in the shadowlands. It's living as a way of preparing for the life to come, rather than focusing on life as it is for the living.

that in itself isnt a "bad" faith to have, but imposing that belief on others, insisting that you know better than them and this will all be worth it in your next life, well. thats bad.

marika started her kingdom on the ideals that she would bring a sense of Order to the world, after witnessing what she saw as pure chaos and senseless cruelty in the shadow realm. by staunchly opposing the crucible's ideal (death is natural, all things should be conjoined/mixed together with one another), her process was one that left everyone... unalloyed, for lack of a better term. but its too aggressively independent, too cruel towards even the idea of variance, and shes limited by what she knows in her upbringing. hence, the erdtree burials and jar burials are very similar. hence, she imposes the Golden Order on all of the land and refuses to compromise that.

where we're at now, I think, leads to us seeing the same cycle with miquella. I don't know (or at least, don't agree with) whether the lore implicitly states one viewpoint is inherently Good or Correct, but I think that hardline approach that all these groups eventually develop is whats killing them. they refuse to allow other worldviews, or permit a cycle to change, because they genuinely believe their faith is best for everyone's interests and worth the sacrifice

and in a way, we the player are potentially continuing this track record too if we seek lordship, aren't we? it's up to us for sure, but most of the npcs in the base game don't tend to describe us as good or evil. More often than not, they say we are tremendously uncompromising.

[writtenjewels]

Day One: Poetry

The first night on the station, everyone kept to themselves. There were the ones trying not to make noise as they cried, while others were almost excited to be there. Everyone was from a different time zone, many still feeling like it should be midday. Then there was the natural shyness some of them felt being in a strange place surrounded by unfamiliar people.

By the second night, they already found some common ground to start bonding. It should have been enough that they were all biotics, but after years of being treated like a freak or worse, none of them were eager to embrace that part of themselves. Easier to complain about Vyrnnus, or the food, or the lump mattresses.

But that tension and stress didn't leave. If anything, it was getting worse.

“We need to do something,” Kaidan said to Shelby as they prepared for light's out.

“About what?” the other boy asked.

The two had bonded over their mutual interest in tech. Conatix confiscated everyone's omni-tools when they arrived but the boys still sketched out the schematics of one and talked over how they would use different functions. One day in and Kaidan already got used to running ideas by Shelby. It was just that this one didn't have anything to do with tech.

“Us,” he answered. “Vyrnnus is running this like it's boot camp.”

“He's a turian,” Shelby snorted. “They're all like that.” He pursed his lips in thought and added, “Boot camp. More like brain camp.” That made Kaidan smile. He liked the sound of it. “Anyway,” Shelby said, “what are we going to do about it?”

“I think we need to find a way to relax,” Kaidan answered.

“Relax?!” Shelby gawked at him. His voice was loud enough to grab the attention of the other kids. “We were taken away from our homes and our parents, forced to live in this place and nearly kill ourselves under the watch of a psycho turian, and you want to fucking relax?!”

“Yeah,” Kaidan responded calmly. “I do. We need to find a way to de-stress, or we're all going to snap. We need to...” He hunted for the right words. “We need to just be kids for a few minutes.”

“How are we supposed to do that?” another kid asked. Her name was Natalia, if Kaidan remembered correctly. Everyone was watching him, waiting for an answer.

Kaidan's mind went blank. Back home, there were plenty of ways Kaidan found to feel like a regular kid. He would sit and watch hockey with his father, or help his mother cook dinner in the kitchen. During season, he would walk through the orchard and pick apples, tossing the bad ones around with his biotics. Even if Kaidan could think of an equivalent here, it didn't feel right to suggest it. They needed something to cut through all this tension.

“A recruiter brought me to space,” he began, “to this old, abandoned base. I gave him some sass because he's an ass, but I wish that I punched in his face.”

The other kids burst out laughing. It was like a crack that broke through all their stress and tension. Kaidan's heart lightened.

“Do another one!” one of the girls encouraged.

So he did, making up silly limericks for the other kids to laugh at. Eventually the other kids got in on it, making jokes or performing little tricks to amuse everyone.

This was exactly what they needed: a few minutes to be normal, just between them.

[witheredsnow]

My first blogged short story awhile ago that I just thought of posting to... Idk. I guess to relieve myself of some things by turning it into embellished fiction. It was more well-received than I thought. Now this is the third. Thanks for reading. -Rei

It's Not the Same, a short story on an aroace POV

Sunny mornings, cool windy breezes and the sparse green. That was what most days were like with you, my dearest friend.

Sprawled on the ground of your small yard. Green was hard to come by sadly.

We were both young and lived like the world was a fantasy.

Although, I wished I could be in a better fantasy. With you, of course.

A cottage in the woods, surrounded by green, yellows, blues, pinks and violets. Even young, I wanted an idyllic life.

Wouldn't that be a great fantasy.

And I told you about it. Would you want to be there with me too? When we're both older and have to live in reality, let's have this piece of fantasy. Together.

Oh how happy my words made you look. Sparkly eyed youth with red tinted cheeks.

Then you held out your pinky... Oh, right. Of course I would promise.

I want to be with you even years later. And I know you feel the same way as you told me too.

...

.....

But perhaps, it wasn't exactly the same way.

...

We grew older into bigger kids though still kids and still the closest of bonds there is.

Adults say we look cute together as we continue to grow older. Mmm... I mean, I suppose? Individually we look cute, so together we're cuter. I think I understand the logic.

Or maybe I misunderstood.

... I don't know.

Hm? You seem more timid when they say that.

Everyone looked on with a knowing smile or glance.

I... Really don't understand.

...

....

And sometimes I wished I continued to stay ignorant.

But that would be unfair to you, no?

...

Getting even older. It wasn't that exciting to me, in all honesty.

I think I'm starting to get into the reality of growing older... Not that fun. Oh, how I daydreamed of our childhood fantasies when I'm bored.

I never gave up on that dream as I continue to dream it night and day. Do you still remember?

Of course you do. You would encourage and support me too. I know I will want you to be there with me.

You know, that was what I was most looking forward to in getting older. To be with you in that fantasy like I've told you many years ago.

You smiled softly at the declaration I said out loud.

Although, these days... I don't think it'll be just as I wanted. I... Don't know what it is. I don't know where is it not what I wanted.

...

....

But later, I know what it was.

....

Huh? Pardon? What did you say?

My mind stopped working. Or rather, it was working but it was working to block out the words I don't understand why I was denying. Did that make sense?

Hm... Anyway, erm, I understand what you said that you were feeling. Towards me to be exact. And I understand the context of said feelings...

Maybe I did a while ago...

If I said I don't feel the same way or rather, I never will feel the same and I never did feel the same... No, that's not an 'if'. I should say it and I did.

The eyes that looked at me fondly and with growing attraction I chose to ignore when I became aware of its nature now looked hurt. Because I hurt you with this truth.

You thought I felt the same. That I liked you... Or possibly even loved you.

And I did and still do. But... It wasn't ever the same way as you. It took me long to be aware of that.

I... I'm sorry.

...

.....

It wasn't the same ever since that day and I sometimes grieved because of that fact.

So this is reality for us, huh.

....

You looked great together.

I said that as I attended your wedding. Now those words are truly fitting.

You smiled a small smile as I did the same.

It really wasn't the same anymore. But that's not always a bad thing. If it meant that I could see you smile again and have your heart be reciprocated the same way, then it definitely isn't now.

You're still my dearest friend... No matter what.

...

.....

"Hey... So house—or rather, cottagewarming party soon?"

"Yeah. Don't be late."

...

[onyxandemerald]

Having Religious Trauma when your family Wasn't Religious; A Story Time

This was a super weird memory to unpack and honestly I was laughing at it the whole time. You can too, its okay. Its funny.

My family was not religious. My dad was a '60s Catholic school dropout who worked on a farm at 8 just to get by, and I now fully believe my mom's ancestry was full of cunning folk from Poland that fled to USAmerica during WWI. They had assimilated, so we took turns making Polish food on Christmas, but that was the closest thing I had to a tradition my entire childhood. Not even the language had been past down. However, there was an unspoken understanding about things like the horseshoe above the front door ("It brings us good luck") and great-grandma's terror around dolls.

I grew up a Harry Potter kid. My dad was my best friend and loves reading but it gives him a hard time, so we watched the movies together and its still a pillar of our friendship (He Knows). My mom read me real old-timey fairy tales like she grew up on, and was obsessed with The Brother's Grimm. A copy follows me everywhere I live even if I barely read it now as an adult. My mom was another kid who grew up outside with her brothers and sister just playing in the woods and has always has been obsessed with owning a farm and being surrounded with animals and greenery. Growing up she made sure I always had a yard to play in and chickens to hold. It was natural to catch me running around the yard naked as a toddler, but I was chronically bullied by my peers in school and my cousins at family gatherings. My only solace ever was in the trees in the yard and those trees became my best friends and at times my only friends.

The way my childhood went, I grew up way more attuned to nature and spirit, a comfort I never felt in my culture or around people, any people.

So cue middle school, and some of my friends start talking about this youth group. I've never heard these words before, but I would love any opportunity to meet new kids my age who might not instantly hate me. I begged my parents to go. I knew nothing about religion other than it existed, and sometimes they spoke in funny languages and did things with their arms that- holy crap that looks like a spell! Those guys are wizards!! I'm in!!!! My parents had no idea what was going on but they gave in and I went to a church youth group and I was forever scarred.

You guys know what happened. It was a stuffy, mildewy building that was not old enough to be as dusty as it was. The music was Not Good, and the messages kept contradicting itself or dropping in and out of tune. The crafts weren't fun and everybody looked like they hated being there. We did. I was so MAD!

These guys were supposed to teach me how to do spells! I know its real, so why are you wasting my time! I came here to learn MAGICK! I knew that I felt magic, but this church was making a mockery of what the sacred is supposed to be. Religion is supposed to uplift us. Spirituality is meant to heal us and our wounds. Our souls are designed to bring us together in harmony. But in that building, I felt none of that. It felt like an elementary school gymnasium. I knew immediately there was no spirit, no Gd there, and they were lying about being holy men.

As a 13 year old, the conclusion I drew from this was that Gd was dead and we had killed him. I felt cheated, and my instinct was to refute the entire institution.

I had absolutely lost all faith in myself. I don't know what I was hoping for, maybe I was expecting lightning out of my finger tips, but this experience had eroded any idea that magic could be inside of me. It gave me the illusion that religion is just a cheap trick and magic was just a fantasy plot meant to entertain us while we all just accept that we're dying a slow and agonizingly boring death. I began to believe this about all religions, and religion as a concept. Up until this point I had never met a religious person who genuinely enjoyed it. Going to church always was treated like a chore, and so I thought hating religion was going to save people from this same fate.

This left me super confused and frustrated. I already had a full and flesh belief of animism and the power of the universe and then within a couple of hours it was all stripped away. I knew things about spirits and the fae and I think I was already Hellenistic by then, too. I was desperate for materialism to not be all there was to life. I could not accept it. I knew there was something mystical going on behind the scenes and nobody could describe it to me or even admit that they were as confused as I were.

The trauma I got was the underlying perpetuation that I was misled by my own senses and that what I had understood so fully in my heart was a lie. I did not have anyone in my life to reflect my experiences to and no one who could relate, and this institution had been a massive joke. I realized I would have to find out on my own what religion and spirituality meant. As this went on, I got stuck in a loop of;

"Well I'm getting correspondences and I'm reading all the spell recipes and I'm reading about paranormal experiences and I'm obsessed with ghosts and cryptids, but like I'm still not really understanding. Like nobody can just give me an answer! Is magic real or not?! How does burning leaves make me rich?!"

I think that in some sort of effect, I had turned off my emotions and intuition once I had the idea in my head that it was just stupid background chatter and my feelings were annoying and cumbersome and getting in the way of my learning. And then I beat myself up for not understanding spirituality! Not only were my feelings painful, they didn't make sense, but they didn't actually matter in the grand scheme of things. All Gd wanted from me was macaroni art and pony bead bracelets.

The moral of the story is this; even events that don't strike you as traumatizing can still have long term effects on your life. This is why we do shadow work because It wasn't up until I really sat down and picked apart this particular feeling that kept following me, that I was able to really understand how to let these beliefs go. I had accepted religion to be exactly what someone had told me it to be, instead of what I knew I had felt to be true in my blood and bones, and this crushed my confidence and faith in myself. Then I finally realized that I can just follow however I feel, and I can just do that with an infinite success rate for the rest of my life. Maybe I was right and there was no Gd in that building. But I have met Gods in forests, waterfalls, in my best friends' laughter, in my kitten when she falls asleep in my lap, in the jewelry I make, and in my tarot readings. Religion is meant to connect us. Spirituality is meant to uplift and empower us. Our Souls naturally want to draw us together through art and music and love. In this way, each person's spirituality will always be as unique as they are, and that's something to be celebrated. That is Magic.