#we're literally fucking cooked

[vamp1re-bait]

sitting in my car at nearly 6 in the morning watching the sun come up and trying very very hard not to cry or vomit

[way2gosuperrstarr]

k so. two things to yap about

1) i want to be unemployed again but somehow still get money so badly GET ME OUT OF HERE (i dont hate my job itself i just. i hate . working)

2) I CANT OPEN MY WATERBOTTLE I SCREWED IT ON TOO TIGHT THIS MORNING ONCE IM OUT OF WATER IM FUCKING DONE FOR

[eff-plays]

"Astarion is more evil than Minthara but Astarion girlies aren't ready for that conversation 🙄"

Astarion girlies are rather confused and amused by the fact that you think evil lies on some kind measurable axis instead of both characters being the product of different writers writing different characters with different motivations and backgrounds, and the reason Astarion girlies are probably not willing to engage with this argument is because it requires one to legitimize it as a valid reading of the text in the first place, which is the biggest hurdle in this hypothetical debate and would put Astarion girlies on the same level as you, somebody who's not yet ready to understand the extremely rudimentary and hackneyed concept of the D&D alignment chart.

[sherlock-is-ace]

.

[comradecowplant]

so things are not going well with my new elderly socdem friend unfortunately.

[pumpkinrootbeer]

two game suspension. at this point our starting roster is going to be mikko and a prayer

[cemeterym]

i'm begging my uni to stop making every fucking student social activity something where you have to walk around a bunch if you are a slow walker who cannot help it they literally want you dead

[scringee]

[thatwillreallydoit]

watching a tiktok on syd's omelette scene and people in the comments INSIST "it aint that deep" "its just a cooking scene" LIKE BRO WE'RE SO COOKED IF YOU CANT SEE THE SIGNIFICANCE OF THAT SCENE ON SYDNEY'S ARC ON THE SEASON AND WHAT IT MEANS FOR HER CHARACTER AND THE AUDIENCE TO SEE HER AND UNDERSTAND HER DEEPER MOTIVES

[surpriserose]

there was a post going around a little while ago that had a link to like 100 classic books by authors of color and i picked out a few that were interesting to me to read so im doing that inbetween manga and hate reading coho so thumbs up emoji

the one i was able to get the easiest was kobo abe's the woman of the dunes and its about a dude who gets told to go into the sand pit with this lady against his will and tries to escape and well..... this is a 60s book which means yeah its good! its really thoughtful and the prose is really good (obviously translation isn't and shouldnt be one to one but it's still what abe wrote like janljkdnvd) but its also really misognyist! with the occasional gross racist or ableist comment too like christ......

like every time i was like okay im here with you im in the sand im feeling the sand im scared of the sand and im with you we're getting into philosophy im engaging with your metaphors theyre really good and complex loving the themes of stability and instability and work and purpose and then the main dude would sexually assault the titular woman and its like okay!!!!!!!! i get where we stand here buddy!!!!! oh now we're going off about sex and philosophy okay i can list 1000 other people i would rather listen to on this subject before you but i cant stop you!!!

[kokaibop]

not to be an exol gatekeeping a damn egg tray but the reason it worked with the exos bald heads was bc antis* have been using eggs / eggso (derogatory) for ages so it made sense, with other people it just doesn't hit 🤷🏻‍♀️

[mx-melancholic]

I hate the whole thing but I especially hate how disregarded young people are in the conversations about mandatory military service. "It's good if young people have to go, they need discipline" "It's good if it happens to young people but it's unfair for those who already have a life. A job. A family" "I agree with it but only for kids who are graduating now"

No shut up. You only "support" it because it doesn't affect you. You conveniently endorse it as long as your life isn't being disrupted, because you do understand that it's an unnecessary and unfair intrusion into personal autonomy but you enjoy the idea of it happening to solely someone else. "Young people have no respect" For who? Hypocrites like you? You don't have basic human respect for them, you literally don't value their lives as much as your own. "But their life is just starting" Fucking no? 18 yos have lives, dreams, plans, ideas, values, beliefs, personal style, ambitions, and most importantly, autonomy. They're not a blank slate with "nothing to lose". Also it's hilarious that you suddenly think it's so important they're "war-ready" but you're perfectly okay with you not being war-ready. You're the one with a family to protect. You go.

[xysidhequeen]

The King And His Red Knight

Part 13

Parts 1-7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11 Part 12

Warning: Frequent and prolific use of curse words. Neither I, Danny or Jason will apologize. Also 

Trigger Warning: Icky gross yucky food and disgusting living conditions as the result of depression. Generally safe after the hearts. 

Mentions of gross food stops at: ‘ Ah, the wonders of ribbing an older sibling, even if they were currently passed out. Fastest way to make any younger sibling smile. ‘ Mentions of cleaning and therefore bad living conditions stops after the hearts. 

"Okay I know I joke about being dead, but I think some of this stuff really might kill me. Again. Permanently." Danny had never been more thankful in his afterlife to not need to breathe if he didn't want to. 

Or for his telekinetic powers.

Currently he was carefully moving an entire stack of pizza boxes that still had what had maybe once upon a time, in a different life, in an alternate universe, been pizza inside of them. Now they had molded and mutated to the point that the pizza boxes had melded together and were sporting a fuzzy coat that Danny would swear he'd seen Mrs.Manson wearing the twin of. 

It was pink. He didn't even know mold could be pink. 

He wasn't sure if it was a Gotham specific breed of mold created from the frequent chemical attacks, or if some friend of Dick's had spray painted it pink and frankly, Danny didn't want to know.

"Dick has always been utter shit at cleaning." Jason had taken Danny's tactic of refusing to breathe as he swiped the floating pizza box monstrosity with a fur coat into a trash bag.

"We passed bad at cleaning a while ago, Jason. I think some of this might be alive enough to be considered pets." Danny shot off an ecto blast at a box of Chinese takeout he'd swear was moving. 

Too many experiences with Fenton food had taught him to shoot first and maybe ask questions later. He just never thought he'd have to deal with animated food again after leaving the name Fenton, and ecto-contaminated feral hotdogs, behind.

"I know." The bag in Jason's hands crinkled as he clenched his fists, eyes roving over the room. Danny felt a pang run through his chest and core.

MyFault/Left/Abandoned/Hurt/Hurt/Brother/Alone Jason's emotions were spilling out of him almost as badly as they had when he'd just risen as a halfa. 

Danny had expected something like this to happen. He knew Jason thought his family wouldn't still care, hadn't even believed they'd cared all that much to begin with. But Jason's low self esteem was something Danny had grown familiar with. And he'd known that there was no way Jason's family wouldn't still mourn his loss. Batman might have replaced Robin, but Danny had never though Dick could so easily replace his brother. 

Danny knew he could never replace one of his sisters. Not Jazz, who was more a parent to him than his own genetic donors had ever been. Not Dani, who was his clone and he hadn't wanted to begin with, but now he'd tear the world apart for her without a moments hesitation. 

Danny could easily doubt the love of a parent. Knew how quickly it could turn from love, to hate. But the love of a sibling? Danny could never doubt that.

Before Danny could send a wave of reassurance to Jason, both their phones went off with the soft chime associated with their group chat. Well used to checking their phones whenever the group chat went off, there was never any guarantee it wasn't an emergency, they both pulled out their devices.

[07:23 PhonePharaoh: So any thoughts on names for the new place?] 

Danny snorted as he crossed his legs midair, devoting most of his attention to the chat as he used his telekinesis to keep moving possibly sentient, furry, once upon a time food stuffs, into a floating trash bag held open also by his telekinesis.

Ghost powers were the best.

Danny scrolled back through the chat quickly to remember all that was said, starting from when he warned Tuck and Sam about their deviation in plans.

[05:11 CaffeinatedKing: Hey-Me and Jay found a lost Bird while we were out. We're making sure he's safe in his nest.]

[05:12 GoingGoth: Really? Really Danny? You two were gone for like FIVE hours]

[05:12 PhonePharaoh: Did you find this one in a cemetery too?]

[05:13 CaffeinatedKing: No, we did see a Bat at the cemetery tho]

[05:14 GoingGoth: Ugh. Did you at least get a shot in for me?]

[05:16 CaffeinatedKing: No, Jay just seemed to want to get out]

[05:49 CaffeinatedKing: Oh. Looks like we'll be here for a bit. The birds nest is a mess and Jay doesn't want to leave it like this]

[05:51 PhonePharaoh: .....do we need to get one of the extra rooms ready?]

[05:52 GoingGoth: We just moved in!]

[05:54 PhonePharaoh: Like you'd complain about Nightwing moving in Sam]

[05:54 PhonePharaoh: Remember the posters?]

[05:54 GoingGoth:Tucker think very carefully about what you plan to say next]

[06:01 PhonePharaoh: I still have pi-JajzbhHahJsishGHaisie]

[06:20 PhonePharaoh: I'm alive!]

That was the last of the conversation. Danny assumed Sam had burst into wherever Tuck was and likely thrashed him for trying to bring up her Nightwing obsession. Danny remembered that phase, and the amount of Nightwing merch that had filled Sam's room. He, however, had the sense to not bring it up. He valued his afterlife too much to risk her wrath, or her deadly mastery with a mace.

Besides. Sam had a point. Nightwing was a very attractive hero. 

Alright. Maybe Danny had had a few of his own posters too. However it was hard to maintain a crush on said vigilante when he was currently deep cleaning the man's apartment of moldy, most definitely alive and moving, food. Definitely killed whatever lingering feelings Danny might have had. Anything not already mercilessly murdered by his not so small crush on Nightwing's little brother, anyway. 

Danny looked up from his phone for a moment, eyes flitting between a passed out Nightwing and Jason, who was distractedly shoving things into trash bags and occasionally straight up burning suspicious looking 'food'. 

Yeah. Danny thought he'd made the right call in crushes. He'd take the tank of a man with killer aim, muscles for days, a nasty right hook and who was a literal magician in the kitchen over... well just about any other hero. If he was honest.

Not that Danny really was judging Dick on his interior decorating. Danny shot off a small ectoblast at a bowl of Thai food trying to make a runner. 

Well. 

Not that much. 

Right after... everything with the Fentons, Danny hadn't been the model of cleanliness either. The only reason his castle hadn't turned into a very fancy landfill was more due to the fact that his castle would straight up eat his trash if it got bad enough. 

So really, Danny had no room to judge. And he even understood, intimately, how when depression sunk its claws into you nothing mattered. And there simply wasn't enough energy left over to maintain a neat living environment when simply getting up from bed was a herculean task that you couldn't always accomplish.

So. He got it. He really, truly got it. 

Didn't make cleaning up what looked like the dumpster of a morally questionable biological lab bent on creating a super mold to take over the planet any more pleasant, however.

Danny shook off memories of days on end spent lying in his bed, Jazz calling him almost hourly while he ignored every attempt to reach out. Fright Knight standing by his door, day in and day out while his king tried his best to waste away. Pandora barging into his room only to be met with wall after wall of ice. Clockwork finally saying enough was enough and grabbing him by the scruff like a kitten and drop kicking him through a portal, with only the instructions to wait atop the grave he'd fallen onto.

It was a dark time, one Danny was never eager to remember.

Danny blinked down at his phone where a new text was waiting.

[07:26 GoingGoth: Crematorium?]

[07:29 CaffeinatedKing: What are we burning people now?]

[07:30 PhonePharaoh: Jay might]

Jason snorted and Danny laughed, both looking up and meeting eyes. Jason grinned and shot off a small ball of fire at yet another squirming bundle of mold.

[07:32 ZombieBitch: You're damn right I will]

[07:32 CaffeinatedKing; Okay no- Crematorium gives supervillain vibes.]

[07:33 GoingGoth: Are we not?]

[07:34 CaffeinatedKing: Sam. No]

"Sam, yes." Jason muttered and Danny rolled his eyes. He rolled them a second time when Sam responded.

[07:35 GoingGoth: Sam. YES]

[07:36 MentallyStable: Lair?]

Predictably the chat went crazy when Jazz appeared. She was very firmly the mom of the group, that designation only got worse after they all left Amity, somehow. 

Apparently with a lack of adults in their lives, despite them all being adults, Jazz had decided they needed someone. An adultier adult, if you would. So. She had stepped up, texting all of them with reminders to eat, and drink water, telling them to sleep. Even setting up doctors appointments for Sam and Tucker when it was clear both would rather die than talk on the phone to a receptionist. 

[07:37 GoingGoth: Jazz!🥰]

[07:37 ZombieBitch: Jazz🩷]

[07:37 PhonePharaoh: Mom's here!]

[07:38 MentallyStable: Shouldn't you all be sleeping?]

[07:38 CaffeinatedKing: Shouldn't you?]

[07:39 MentallyStable: Touche]

[07:40 ZombieBitch: Lair is a No. Bad names and bad puns must be fucking genetic]

[07:40 PhonePharaoh: Mausoleum?]

[07:41 GoingGoth: Mortuary?]

[07:42 ZombieBitch: The Morgue?]

[07:44 CaffeinatedKing: What if we named the normal part and the less normal part different things?]

[07:45 ZombieBitch: I vote we name the supervillain lair the Morgue. Sound badass, and we get to freak people out when we say it

Plus, two dead fuckers will be chilling in it and rising from under the ground regularly]

"Oh very clever Jay," Danny snorted.

"Better than the Ghost Cave or some shit," Jason retorted. 

"Ghost Cave is an amazing name! You clearly have no taste!" Danny pouted, Jason giving him a raised brow, utterly unaffected by Danny's puppy eyes.

[07:48 PhonePharaoh: All in favor of The Morgue?] 

Danny watches as the heart emoji reactions grew under Tucker's message, it was clear everyone was picking that as the name. 

Which. It was a good name, a funny one too. But come on! If Batman got the Batcave a pair of ghost superheroes should get the Ghost Cave!

[07:50 CaffeinatedKing: What's wrong with Ghost Cave?? 😭😢]

[07:50 ZombieBitch: Literally everyfuckingthing Daniel]

 [07:50 CaffeinatedKing: Well alright then Jasonathaniel]

[07:51 ZombieBitch: Did you just invent a longer name for me to try and one up me like a bitch?]

[07:52 CaffeinatedKing: Maybe I did. What are you going to do about it bird boy?]

Danny yelped as he dodged a box of what could have been Thai food, the box integrity so weak it fell apart midair. Danny was forced to summon a shield of energy around himself to avoid getting rotten food all over himself. The moldy, possibly wriggling, food dripped slowly down his shield. Danny canceled the shield just in time to go intangible as something so covered in mold Danny wasn't entirely certain it wasn't actually a dead opossum flew through him.

"That how you want to play this birdy?" Danny asked, eyes flashing as Jason grinned at him. His grin quickly fell when Danny used his telekinesis to tug a piece of stained clothing out of Mt. Doom and threw it as Jason's face. 

"Ancients on a fucking stick Danny, Dick's dirty underwear? Really, fucker?" Jason glared at the boxers as if they had personally insulted his mother, grandmother and sister all at once. 

"I just grabbed something! Besides you threw a fucking dead opossum at me!" Danny gesticulated wildly, his telekinesis picking up said offending dead opossum and waving it around. Jason glanced at it consideringly, head tilting.

"It's either an opossum or it was once a sandwich." Jason deduced as he swiped it into a trash bag, probably because it was getting far too close to his face for anyone's comfort.

"No more throwing shit at me. One of us might get the new ghost plague if this gets on us." Danny grumbled as he nudged more takeout containers losing the battle against the mold invaders with a foot.

"....You know what if it was possible to give a ghost the plague it would come from Dick's fucking apartment." Jason grumbled, lips twitching in a small smile. 

Ah, the wonders of ribbing an older sibling, even if they were currently passed out. Fastest way to make any younger sibling smile.

As they resumed their cleaning they checked the group chat again, Danny moving from food disposal to clothing detail, his telekinesis making the clothes dance like something out of a cartoon as he started organizing them by color. 

Or. 

Well.

He hoped by color. Some were so covered in stains, or dried blood, Danny could only guess at the original colors. He really hoped the detergent Dick had was industrial strength. Batdetergent? Did that exist? A Batwasher? Shit he wouldn't put it past Batman to have specialized detergent and washing machines made just to get stains out of costumes. You couldn't exactly drop off military grade hero suits at the dry cleaners.

[07:56 GoingGoth: Boys stop flirting in group chat]

[08:09 PhonePharaoh: Should we start checking the news for a new murder?]

[08:16 CaffeinatedKing: ....

He threw moldy food at me 😭]

[08:17 ZombieBitch: YOU THREW DICK'S DIRTY UNDERWEAR AT ME CUNTWAFFLE!]

[08:17 CaffeinatedKing: The food had enough mold TO LOOK LIKE A DEAD OPOSSUM]

[08:18 MentallyStable: Jason. Danny. Behave.]

[08:18 PhonePharaoh: Ohhhhh shit Mom is maaddd]

[08:19 CaffeinatedKing: Yes Jazz]

[08:19 ZombieBitch: Yes Jazz]

[08:20 PhonePharaoh: So the Morgue wins for the name of our supervillain lair]

[08:20 CaffeinatedKing: I've been betrayed by my own friends

What a cruel cruel world

Stabbed in the back

Left to bleed out on the cold streets]

[08:21 GoingGoth: So anyways]

[08:22 CaffeinatedKing: Ignored, abandoned, my heart ripped from my chest]

Danny made a face at Jason when he coughed out a surprised laugh. Jason held up his hands in surrender when Danny waved a pair of ripped and stained pants in clear threat. 

Danny had a load of laundry started now and was moving on to clearing the other rooms of accumulated piles of clothing, adding them to the vaguely organized piles he had started. He was glad he didn't have to actually walk on the carpet, which was so stained by now that the original color of it was hidden. 

Jason had gotten through most of the questionably sentient food, eight trash bags filled and waiting by the door. He was cleaning up the kitchen now, dealing with the leaning towers of dirty plates and cups. 

[08:26 GoingGoth: Mortuary or Mausoleum for the part of our house we're allowed to show any potentially normal people we bring over]

[08:37 CaffeinatedKing: HAUNTED. HOUSE. IS RIGHT THERE. RIGHT FUCKING THERE.

OUR HOUSE IS LITERALLY HAUNTED 😡]

[08:37 ZombieBitch: By the afterlife's biggest drama queen]

[08:38 PhonePharaoh: The undead Oscar goes to Danny King Of Drama Nightingale 🎆🎆🏆]

[08:38 ZombieBitch: What would you like to say to your adoring fans, Mr.DramaKing?]

"I'd like to tell you to suck a dick." Danny muttered as he grabbed a mop Jason threw at him and started mopping the ceiling. 

Something he'd never thought he'd do, but somehow Dick had gotten stains on the damn ceiling. And foot prints. Danny had no idea how a normal human had gotten foot prints on the fucking ceiling. The hell did they feed vigilantes in Gotham?

"Take me to dinner first, damn." Jason retorted, Danny nearly falling out of the air in shock. 

Jason chuckled, evidently entirely unaware of the effect he was having on Danny's poor undead heart. He focused back on the chat, it was easier than trying to decode if Jason was actually flirting or just joking around.

[08:40 CaffeinatedKing: I'd like to take this moment to tell the world that Jason Todd is an asshole

Thank you and goodnight.

[08:41 CaffeinatedKing: And that my friends are all fake bitches who stabbed me in the back]

[08:41 PhonePharaoh: F]

[08:41 ZombieBitch: F]

[08:41 GoingGoth: F]

[08:41 MentallyStable: F]

[08:42 CaffeinatedKing: JAZZ?! YOU'VE TURNED ON ME TOO?

This is my villain origin story]

[08:43 GoingGoth: You already have the lair for it]

[08:43 CaffeinatedKing: The old Danny can't come to the phone right now.

Why? Oh cause he's dead]

[08:44 ZombieBitch: Old news🥱]

[08:44 PhonePharaoh: Fake news]

[08:45 CaffeinatedKing: You're all dead to me]

[08:45 ZombieBitch: I'm already dead motherfucker bit late to the party]

[08:45 GoingGoth: I'm dead inside]

[08:46 PhonePharaoh: I'm dead in my heart]

[08:47 MentallyStable: You all need therapy]

[08:47 PhonePharaoh: We love you too Jazz 🥰🥰🖤🖤]

[08:48 GoingGoth: So. Mortuary, Mausoleum or, ugh, Haunted House?]

[08:48 CaffeinatedKing: Sam! I knew I could count on you!☺️😊]

"Ugh, can't believe she gave in." Jason muttered as he shut the dishwasher and started it up. 

The apartment was filling with the noises from cleaning and both halfas froze when Dick rolled over, muttering Jason's name quietly. They traded panicked looks and Danny held out a hand, a dome of green tinted ice covering the couch. 

It wouldn't be too cold, Danny had enough control to decide if his ice radiated cold, and it would block the noises. After a few minutes where Jason and Danny waited with bated breath they relaxed when Dick settled back to sleep.

"He could sleep through a damn earthquake, I swear." Jason murmured, shaking his head as he started washing dishes by hand, rolling up his sleeves and revealing well muscled forearms. 

Danny's eyes followed the movement. Was it possible to have sexy forearms? Cause Jason definitely did.

Danny swung his head around so fast it would've broken a human's neck when Jason looked up, feeling his face flood with heat. Shit. He'd almost gotten caught ogling Jason's criminally hot forearms like some kind of pervert.

"Um. I think his bedroom needs to be... uh. Steam cleaned! Yup! Gonna do that. Right now." Danny stammered out, flying off before Jason could use his far too smart brain to deduce the bi-panic Danny was in the middle of. 

Danny eventually located a steam cleaner, it looked like it had never been used and had a thick coating of dust on it. But it looked high end, with more buttons and attachments than the Fenton OPs center. Someone in Dick's life obviously wanted him to clean. If Danny was a betting man he'd put money on it being from Alfred, based in Jason's stories of the British butler. 

Danny started up the steam cleaner, fairly well used to using one from his time growing up. Fun fact, a good steam cleaner and strong carpet cleaner was the only way to get ectoplasm out of carpet. It was the only way he'd been able to erase the evidence of his ghost status after he returned to his room wounded countless times.

Since the steam cleaner was easier to manage with his hands he used his telekinesis with his phone, glad he'd used it so often he had fine motor control with it now.

[08:50 GoingGoth: My fingers are bleeding from typing that]

[08:52 MentallyStable: Haunted House. It's accurate.]

[08:58 CaffeinatedKing: Jazz! The best big sister in the world!!🥰🥰💚💚💚💚]

[08:59 ZombieBitch: Mausoleum. It has fucking class.]

[09:00 GoingGoth: Says the guy who can't go three minutes without cussing]

[09:01 ZombieBitch: What can I say? I'm a classy bitch.]

[09:02 PhonePharaoh: Mortuary, 4/5 residents haven't actually been put in a coffin]

[09:02 ZombieBitch: I can change that 😈]

[09:03 CaffeinatedKing: Haunted House. It's obviously the best]

[09:04 ZombieBitch: In no world is it the best you deluded fucknugget]

[09:04 GoingGoth: Mausoleum. It feels appropriately gothic]

[09:05 PhonePharaoh: Well damn we're at a tie

I'm not changing my vote. Mortuary FTW!]

[09:06 Dani2.0: Mausoleum 👻]

[09:07 CaffeinatedKing: DANI?!

BETRAYED BY MY OWN CLONE

MY FLESH AND BLOOD AND ECTOPLASM]

[09:07 Dani2.0: Jason is right it's a cool name]

[09:08 ZombieBitch: This is why you're my favorite halfa, little ghoul]

[09:08 PhonePharaoh: Votes are in. We have the Mausoleum and the Morgue]

[09:09 GoingGoth: "Where do you live?" "Oh just in the Mausoleum."

Hehehe can't wait to scare the normies😈]

[09:10 CaffeinatedKing: This is why we can't have normal friends]

[09:10 GoingGoth: Oh? Oh REALLY  Daniel I'm The King Of The Dead Nightingale? Thats the reason?]

[09:11 ZombieBitch: Hah get fucked ghost boy]

[09:11 CaffeinatedKing: Like you have room to talk Jason I Rose From My Own Grave Todd]

[09:12 PhonePharaoh: Ooooo]

[09:12 GoingGoth: Jason I Wanted To Behead Crime Lords Todd]

Danny could hear the loud groan and cursing from Jason even through the sounds of the steam cleaner and the walls. Danny chuckled shaking his head. Jason was as embarrassed over his plans to behead crime lords as Sam was over her Nightwing phase. And all of them loved to bring it up whenever they could, just to remind him of his very detailed plans for revenge and a hostile crime takeover.

[09:15 ZombieBitch: OH MY ANCIENTS

IT. WAS. A. FUCKING. PHASE.

You threaten to behead a drug lord ONE FUCKING TIME and NO ONE let's you forget it]

[09:17: PhonePharaoh: Dude. I think it had more to do with the 10 page plan and slide show you made]

[09:20 ZombieBitch: Ajsjdkaha I hate it here]

Danny finished his work in the bedroom, looking at the now sparkling clean room. The mattress was bare, the bedding added to the piles he'd sorted. Turning off the steam cleaner he floated out of the room to switch the laundry over and start a new load before getting out the vacuum to begin cleaning the living room. Jason had finished the dishes and was cleaning the counters, walls and cabinets of the kitchen. He had a blush high in his cheeks, undoubtedly from the teasing in the chat.

"Hey, if I give you a list, could you pick up some food? All Dickiebird has here is ketchup, expired milk, stale cereal and an egg." Jason piped up, looking firmly at the counter as Danny paused his vacuuming. 

"Will you be fine cleaning on your own?" Danny asked. 

Jason sighed, looking up at Danny and he could see the pain, the desperation in his eyes. Taste it in the air, the emotions floating between them.

Jason was never good at showing his emotions, for all he projected them for any ghost to read. But if one knew him well, they could see his heart on his sleeve. 

Cooking was one of the ways Jason showed his care for others, his love. It was his way of caring for those he loved the most. He didn't do comfort, he wasn't good at handling it when others were suffering. If it wasn't a problem he could punch or shoot, Jason was lost. 

Danny couldn't count the number of times he'd found Jason cooking up a feast in a kitchen when one of them was struggling. It was the only way he knew to help. To feed someone, to fill their stomachs even if he couldn't fill the holes in their hearts.

He could see that Jason was trying to fix the holes he'd left in Dick's heart by giving him food. By caring for him in the only way he knew how. 

"We've cleaned most of it, it's just the clothes, carpets and walls now." Jason waved at the apartment that had slowly begun to resemble a place a person could live in and not worry about being suffocated in the night by sentient mold out to murder its creator. 

It was rather impressive what could be done when you mixed supernatural powers into cleaning. 

"Yeah, alright. I can get some food so Dick here doesn't starve to death." Danny shrugged, a smile breaking out on his face at the pure gratitude that filled Jason's eyes and washed through the air. 

Jason pulled out his phone and started typing, Danny growing concerned when minutes passed with no clear end in sight to the list. Was he planning to make a five course meal??

...

That...was a distinct possibility actually.

Danny lifted his phone when it dinged and he blinked at the long list of ingredients. He wasn't even sure what some of them were! 

"Uh. Will the grocery store have all of this?" Danny asked hesitantly. 

"They should, there's a few shops in the area you can hit if one doesn't have everything." Jason informed him and Danny bit back a sigh.

"And uh. How, pray tell, am I to carry all of this?" Danny asked next, waving a hand around, "we didn't exactly bring a car." 

"Portals dumbass." Jason gave him an unimpressed look and Danny tilted his head back with a groan.

The things he did for love.

"Fine. Your supernatural royal express grocery delivery coming right up." Danny grumbled, rubbing his face as he walked to the door. 

"How gracious of you, your fucking highness." Jason's sarcastic drawl filtered after him.

"You're my knight, you should be doing errands for me!" Danny whined.

"Want a bullet to the knee? Cause that's how you get a bullet to the fucking knee." Jason warned and Danny hastened to open the door.

"I was a hero like you, until I took a bullet to the knee!" Danny called out, scrambling out and slamming the door when he heard a gun cock. 

Jason's aim was nothing to scoff at and Danny didn't want an actual bullet to the knee this morning. 

Danny looked at the list again and sighed. It would be a long morning.

♡♡♡ ♡♡♡ ♡♡♡ ♡♡♡ ♡♡♡ ♡♡♡ ♡♡♡ ♡♡♡ ♡♡♡ ♡♡♡ ♡♡♡ ♡♡♡

"Five stores, Jason. Five. Fucking. Stores. And a goddamn market." Danny groaned as he shut the door, dropping his bags, gently, to the ground. He'd spent hours combing Blüdhaven for those groceries, he wasn't going to break them in a fit of petulance and be forced to go back out.

He was exhausted. Opening so many portals to transport the groceries hadn't been easy, especially not in an area with lower ectoplasm. 

Sure Gotham and Blüdhaven had more ectoplasm than your average cities, but it wasn't nearly enough if Danny was using his more draining abilities. And opening portals was always one of his more taxing skills. He'd had to take a short rest in the Zone just to recover.

Plus. He'd had to deal with people. Which was exhausting on its own.

Making a permanent ghost portal was moving up his list of priorities. If only to increase the ambient ectoplasm in the area to better support two halfas in residence. And to give his friends in the Zone an easy way to contact him. 

He was still King and they needed to be able to reach him if something demanded immediate attention. Or because they were worried. They worried about him a lot, even if they all tried to hide it. Danny might have been a C average student but he wasn't entirely oblivious.

Besides he'd love to see some of his rogue gallery face off against the Gotham Rogues. Nocturn might very well give Scarecrow a nasty surprise, and he knew Skulker wanted to have some words with the Joker before Danny dealt with him personally. 

Danny couldn't stand that Jason had to be in the same city as the man who killed him. He was still trying to decide if his own no-kill rule might be open for an exception, if only because Danny wasn't sure he'd be able to control his anger when he saw the Clown Prince Of Crime. 

And if he came back as a ghost? 

Well he better fucking hope he didn't. 

"Here." Jason shoved a cup in Danny's hands, eyes raking over him and lips settling in a frown when he noticed the signs of tiredness on Danny's frame. 

"A...smoothie?" Danny asked hesitantly as he looked at the cup with a curly straw stuck in it. 

He noted the cup had a bisexual flag on it and he mentally filed the information it told him about Dick away. He took a tentative sip of the drink, eyes widening when he tasted the spicy flavor of ectoplasm mixed with mangoes, strawberries and pineapple. So that was what those were for? 

"I keep some ectoplasm on me at all times. Just in case one of us gets hurt and needs the boost." Jason sniffed, snatching the bags away and stalking to the kitchen. There was a light blush on his cheeks, as if the gesture was embarrassing. Like it said something, that he had anticipated Danny's needs and prepared for them.

Danny followed, floating along as he clutched his special smoothie tightly. Jason had been worried about him, and had made this because he thought Danny might have been tired. It was... thoughtful, and made his heart squeeze sweetly.

Danny perched on the island counter, legs crossed, as he looked between his phone at Jason. Jason started putting away the last of the groceries, pulling out what he needed. Danny tore his eyes away to look around the apartment.

The apartment had been completely transformed from what they'd first walked in on. It was unbelievable what they'd managed in the sevenish hours since they'd arrived. The apartment looked show ready now. 

Danny was a bit excited for Dick to wake up and see it... and scared too. He wasn't even sure he belonged here when the reunion happened. It wasn't his place. But... he couldn't just leave Jason. And Jason had relaxed as soon as he'd stepped back in, his shoulders slumping and tension flooding out of him. 

Danny would stay, until Jason asked him to leave. Dick might be confused, but well. That was his problem, Danny's main concern was Jason. 

Danny wasn't going to leave him to face a situation that was guaranteed to be emotional. The memories of Jason running off with no warning after finding out Batman had replaced him were still too fresh. 

If Jason ran off here, in Gotham where Danny didn't know the lay of the land, he wasn't sure if he'd be able to find him. And with how many emotional triggers there were here there was no telling what could happen. Jason could very well end up doing something he would regret, something that couldn't be easily undone.

Luckily at the moment Jason seemed more preoccupied with cooking a five course breakfast than running away. Every available surface was covered in ingredients and materials, and the heavenly scent of food was slowly filling the apartment. It paired nicely with the smell of detergent and floral cleaners, a much better smell than rotting food and dirty laundry. 

Danny snapped a quick picture of Jason cooking, face set in concentration. He was doing that thing with his face that always made Danny's heart skip several beats. His tongue was poking slightly out of his mouth while his brows were furrowed just so. It was utterly adorable and Danny couldn't resist sending it to the group chat, which had been rather active tonight. 

[12:06 CaffeinatedKing: CookingJason.jpeg]

[12:06 PhonePharaoh: MUST BE NICE TO HAVE SOMEONE COOK FOR YOU 😡]

[12:06 GoingGoth: Just rub it in our faces that we don't get a Jason Breakfast today asshole]

[12:08 MentallyStable: Aww he looks so cute Danny🥰]

[12:08 GoingGoth:I'm sure Danny thinks so 😏]

[12:09 CaffeinatedKing: Ajsgag SAM]

[12:09 GoingGoth: How many pics do you have Danny? Hm?]

[12:10 PhonePharaoh: He's got 25

Taken in the last 15 mins]

[12:10 CaffeinatedKing: Tucker GET OUT OF MY PHONE!!!]

[12:11 PhonePharaoh: No. It's nice in here]

[12:11 CaffeinatedKing: I will freeze all of your tech]

[12:12 PhonePharaoh: I'll send Jason your browser history]

[12:12 CaffeinatedKing: ......]

[12:13 PhonePharaoh: 😇]

[12:14 CaffeinatedKing: Delete your messages and never speak of this and I'll save you some food]

[12:14 PhonePharaoh: Done!]

Danny let out a relieved sigh as Jason turned towards his own buzzing phone. Tucker's messages were gone in seconds and Danny could retain some of his dignity. 

He waited for Jason to get caught up again with the chat as he sipped his smoothie noisily. He didn't have much else to do than chat and sneak pictures of Jason cooking. The apartment was clean and even all the laundry had been folded and put away. 

Jason snorted as he picked up his phone and read through the convo, easily juggling texting and cooking at the same time. Danny returned his attention to his phone as Jason entered the chat again.

[12:16 GoingGoth: Ugh. Tucker you cheap whore]

[12:16 PhonePharaoh: Don't act like you wouldn't sell all our souls to the devil for Jason's cooking]

[12:17 GoingGoth: In a heartbeat 

With no hesitation

No regrets]

[12:17 CaffeinatedKing: I-

.....

Yeah alright same]

[12:18 GoingGoth: Is he making crepes?]

[12:19 CaffeinatedKing: Looks like it

TastyBreakfastFood.jpeg]

[12:19 GoingGoth: motherFUCKER]

[12:20 ZombieBitch: Alright what are you chucklefucks talking about

Ah

I'll make you some ultra-recyclo-vegetarian crepes when we get back Sam]

[12:23 GoingGoth: Jason. Marry me🧎‍♀️]

[12:23 CaffeinatedKing: SAM 🤬]

[12:24 GoingGoth: Look if you're too much of a pansy ass bitch to ask I will]

[12:24 ZombieBitch: I'm sorry Sam but I can't marry someone who only wants me for 1 thing

You just want me for my skills in the kitchen 😢

My dad warned me about girls like you] 

"Really, Jason?" Danny asked looking up from his phone to see Jason grinning. 

"Well. He didn't. With words anyways, but you watch Batman and Catwoman fuck around for a couple years and you learn." Jason shrugged as he turned back to the food. 

"You're comparing Sam to Catwoman? Don't tell her that or she'll start her villain era." Danny snickered as he scrolled back through the chat as it went quiet for a bit. 

Sam and Tucker had apparently decided if Jason and Danny weren't sleeping because they had a wounded Bird to take care of, neither would they. 

Danny knew Jason had appreciated the levity and distraction they'd offered through the messages. Tucker, Sam and Jazz had obviously caught on quickly that Jason would need support today, and had all risen to the occasion admirably. None of them would let Jason feel like he was alone in this for even a second. He was part of their spook, and they always protected one another. 

"Wasn't she already in that?" Jason asked with a snort as he slipped the last of the crepes onto a large plate, moving on to focus on the pancakes, eggs and bacon cooking as well. If he and Jason weren't halfas Danny would worry the food was going to go to waste he was making so much.

"Shhh we can't let her become self aware of it, otherwise we'll have an emotionally constipated furry on our doorstep." Danny said in a stage whisper, Jason letting out a surprised bark of laughter, almost missing the pancake he was flipping. 

Danny smiled smugly as he settled down, glad he'd gotten Jason to laugh, and even happier that the Scared/Nervous/Brother?/Rejection?/DoesHeEvenCare?/WillHeHateMe? Had shifted to Amused/Affection/Safe/Warm/Care instead.

Danny watched with mild interest as Jason finished cooking. Danny knew how to cook the very basics. Cereal, toast, scrambled eggs, Ramen, and spaghetti. Enough to make sure he didn't starve to death but nothing that would impress a chef. Jason however was a magician in a kitchen, able to put together meals from reading a recipe once, or simply because he had an idea and managed to make it work. 

He'd tried to describe it to Danny before, how he could remember the flavors of things and could put them together in his mind like puzzle pieces. And in an abstract way, Danny understood. It was a lot like how he put together inventions. But Danny was more likely to make an unholy abomination than an edible meal. Still Danny would never tire of simply watching Jason in his element. Mixing ingredients together to create beautiful creations that tasted even better than they looked. 

Jason was always more calm in the kitchen. In an environment where everything was under his control, and the outcomes were never a surprise. As often as Danny could find Jason working out his feelings in a training room, he could find him in a kitchen. Both could help stabilize the halfa and help him get himself under control. 

When the last slice of bacon was put on a plate and the burners turned off Jason sighed, gripping the counter tightly. The food was ready, and now all that was left to do was to wake the guest of honor. 

Well, was he a guest when they'd invaded his home? Danny wasn't sure.

Luckily. Or unluckily depending on how you looked at it, the choice to wake Dick was taken out of their hands. Jason turned a little too sharply, arm brushing the handle of a pan and sending it clattering to the ground in a loud cacophony of noise that could only ever be achieved when someone was specifically trying to remain quiet. 

Danny and Jason's heads whipped around at a speed that would've broken the necks of a normal human as Dick awoke with a surprised shout, jumping off the couch with a grace that belied how exhausted Danny knew the man was. Danny, startled by both the noise and Dick's sudden movements, let go of gravity. He rose quickly in the air and flipped around until he sat on the ceiling, barely remembering to flip his cup to avoid spilling his smoothie.

"Wha- Who's there?!" Dick shouted, blinking bleary eyes around.

"Where am I? Did you kidnap me?" Dick turned around, visibly confused and not recognizing his own apartment now that it was clean. Danny felt laughter bubbling up in his throat and he tried to drown it under a sip of his smoothie.

"Wait, is this my apartment? What? Alfred? Did you do this? Wally is this a prank?" Dick was still confused as he kept turning around, until his eyes locked on Jason, who was standing frozen in the kitchen like a deer in headlights. 

Dick's face went pale as the blood rushed out of it and he took a stumbling step forward, a hand shooting out to steady him against the wall.

"J-Jason? Is? No, this has to be another hallucination." Dick was speaking so softly Danny wouldn't have heard him if not for his enhanced hearing. 

His sapphire eyes were filling with tears as he stumbled forward, harshly pulling out a barstool and collapsing onto it as if his legs couldn't hold his weight anymore.

"No. No. Not today. This is too cruel. Is it not enough to haunt me at night? Now you have to come in the day too, so you can remind me of how I failed?" Dick's head was hanging low, his hands buried in greasy, tangled hair. 

Danny took in a sharp breath as MyFault/Regret/Shame/Pain/Failure/Hurt/IHurtHim/Hurt/Hurt filled the air, on top of the choking grief oozing out of Dick like a toxic miasma. 

Here/ImHere/It'sOkay/YouNeededTheTime/Comfort/HelpNow/HereNow/Fix Danny pushed the emotions at Jason, trying to get his friend out of his frozen state. It seemed to work, shaking Jason out of his stupor. With almost robotic movements Jason made a plate and shoved it under Dick's face.

"Could a hallucination do that Dickhead?" Jason asked gruffly and Dick's head shot up, Danny wincing when he saw that some hairs had been torn away. 

Dick's eyes were still wet with tears but there was a small flame of hope in them as one hand reached out, shaking like a leaf in a storm, and he tentatively pressed a finger into Jason's cheek. The touch was so gentle the skin didn't even move, as if Dick was afraid his touch would shatter Jason.

"Jason?" Dick asked, his voice sounding small and broken. Jason closed his eyes and leaned into the touch.

"Yeah. It's me Big Bird." Jason breathed out. 

Dick let out a choked sob and, in a movement that proved he was a vigilante, vaulted over the island without disturbing the food and tackled Jason in a hug that almost sent the other halfa to the ground.

"Oi! Watch it dumbass! If you ruin the food I spent forever making I'll beat your ass!" Jason shouted but his arms were locking around Dick as if he would never let go and his own eyes were thick with tears. 

Danny watched the entire interaction from above, slurping his smoothie increasingly loudly just to see how long it took for Dick to notice his presence. He could feel emotions choking his own throat from just watching and feeling them in the air around them. He wanted to do something to break the tension before he had two sobbing birds on his hands.

"I'm so sorry Little Wing. So sorry I wasn't here. So sorry I didn't get you away from him before any of this even started. So sorry you didn't think you could come to me. I'm sorry I wasn't a better brother." Dick babbled, words tumbling out as if he'd been holding them in for years and the dam had finally broken. 

"It's not your fault, Dick. It's not your fault. I was never mad at you." Jason comforted, one big hand rubbing at Dick's shaking back as his brother cried between apologies. 

Dick sniffled and pulled back slightly, eyes roving over Jason's face as if committing it to memory, regret pouring from him in waves that had Danny pulling a grimace.

"Jason- how are you? When did you? I don't," Dick couldn't seem to get a full sentence out as he looked at Jason, wrapped around his younger brother like an octopus.

"And who is that," Dick turned to look up at Danny, the halfa freezing for a moment before taking another obnoxious sip of his smoothie, "and why is he on my ceiling?" Dick finished with a suspicious glare. Danny gave a fanged grin, hopefully not too wide, and a small wave.

"How about," Jason cleared his throat when the words came out husky and choked, "we all sit down to eat the food I slaved over a hot stove to make and we can play twenty questions?" Jason finished and Dick shot Danny one last suspicious look before he nodded and reluctantly peeled himself off Jason. 

Danny slowly floated back down, flipping right side up and settling on a barstool. Dick took the normal route around the island this time as Jason made two more plates with shaking hands. 

Dick sat back in his original seat two down from Danny, eyes locked on Jason as if afraid he'd disappear if he looked away for even a moment. Jason made his way around, sitting between Danny and Dick and handing Danny his plate. 

For a few minutes no one talked, only the sounds of forks on ceramic filled the air as the three men ate their food. Danny broke first, unable to take the tension in the air. It was ruining the delicious food!

"Nice pajamas, Nightwing." Danny leaned forward to shoot Dick a shit eating grin as he shoved a slice of bacon in his mouth. 

Dick startled, looking down at himself with wide eyes and realizing he was still in his vigilante costume.

"I- Uh. I'm a really big Nightwing fan. Huge." Duck scrambled to save himself and Danny snickered as Jason sighed, shooting Danny a glare that had too much affection and gratitude in it to really even be called that.

"He already knows Dickiebird." Jason cut off Dick's bad attempts to come up with a plausible cover story, making the vigilante droop before his eyes sharpened with suspicion again.

"I'm part of the masochistic spandex club too Blue Bird, don't worry." Danny waved off some of Dick's obvious and justified concern, glad to see and feel some of the suspicion turning to cautious curiosity.

"Name's Danny, or Phantom if you see me in my nightwear. Since I know your dirty little secret it's only fair." Danny answered the obvious question in Dick's eyes with a wink. 

The tension in the room was rapidly dissolving and Danny could feel Dick's growing amusement, even if there was still a hefty amount of suspicion. Jason was sending waves of gratitude at him and Danny hummed happily as he filled his mouth with pancakes.

"Got a last name, Danny also known as Phantom?" Dick asked and Danny swallowed his pancakes, using telekinesis to summon the pitcher of fresh orange juice and a cup to him, pouring it and taking a sip. 

He didn't miss how Dick's eyes had locked onto the actions, taking on a calculating gleam. He was sure the vigilante was already building a file in his head titled 'Danny aka Phantom' noting down every ability, his personality, behavior, and rating his threat level.

"Nightingale. But it won't do you any good to run a background check. Or to have Oracle look into me either. I'm sure you'll try anyways but sorry to say, our tech master is good at their job." Danny spoke up with a mischievous smirk after he finished his drink. 

He could tell by the way Dick's eyes lit up that as soon as possible Dick would be researching him, and inevitably pulling Oracle in on it. Tucker would be excited to finally pit himself against his idol. Danny couldn't wait to see how frustrated the vigilantes got when they came up against wall after wall. Firewalls with a ghostly touch had a little extra oomph to them.

"Danny, don't tease him like that." Jason chided with the first ghost of a smile Danny had seen since Dick woke up. 

Danny shot him an unrepentant smile and Jason let out a small noise of annoyance and grabbed Danny's face, making the older halfa yelp.

"You can't eat without making a mess for fucks sake." Jason chided as he used a napkin dipped in water to rub at the maple syrup smeared around Danny's mouth. 

Danny hissed like a cat and batted at Jason's hands to no effect as the large man quickly cleaned him off. Turning Danny's face this way and that Jason checked for any more stains and Danny could feel his face turning the same color as a tomato. 

There was something about the ease with which Jason could manhandle him that sent the butterflies in his stomach kamikaze diving at the walls of his insides and made his heart beat so fast it almost reached human levels. Everywhere Jason's skin touched burned like fire, but Danny would gladly let the flames consume him if Jason would just never let go. 

"There. Now you don't look like you were raised by wolves." Jason nodded as he let go and Danny could finally breathe. 

He took in a deep lungful of the unnecessary air as he ducked his head, face burning hotter when Dick let out a polite cough. Danny looked up through his bangs and was sorely tempted to phase through the floor at the amused and knowing glint in Dick's eyes.

Ancients. Danny's crush was obvious even to someone who had only known him for ten minutes. It was a miracle Jason hadn't caught on yet. He might as well be wearing a shirt that read 'Jason Todd's biggest Simp'. 

If one good thing had come of this, it was that Dick's suspicions had nearly entirely melted away. They were still there but almost undetectable under the feelings of curiosity and amusement the older vigilante was radiating so strongly he might as well be shouting them.

"So how did you two meet?" Dick asked around a bite of food as he waved his fork at the two halfas. Jason paused, looking at Danny.

Cautious/Honesty?/TellEverything?/Lie?/Secrets? Brushed against Danny's awareness. Danny felt his embarrassment step aside as he focused on the now. How much should they tell Dick? He and Jason hadn't exactly talked about this beforehand. Absolutely none of this had been part of the plan.

From what Jason had told him, Dick was rarely on good terms with Bruce. And based on what Danny had been able to piece together from following Nightwing and Dick Greyson on the news, that hadn't changed much. 

There was a good chance if they asked Dick to not tell Brice what they told him, he wouldn't. Even if they asked him to hide that Jason was back. Hell they might be able to get Dick in on the plan. Especially if Jason was able to explain his side of things and his reasoning.

Then again, did Danny trust Dick enough to tell him everything? He knew Jason trusted him, loved him. But they hadn't seen each other in years, and a lot could change in that time.

Some/NotAll/GhostsYes/KingandKnight/No/Death/IfYouWant/TrustYourDecision/TrustYou Danny sent back, finally deciding. Dick could know what they were but he didn't need to know who they were. Dick was Jason's brother, but he was also a hero. He didn't need to know that he had access to the King of the Infinite Realms. Not until he'd proven he wasn't going to use that information badly. 

If this had been Bruce Wayne, Danny wouldn't have wanted the man knowing jack shit. He knew from Jason that Batman had contingencies on everyone. And he personally didn't think he'd ever trust the man enough to give him the information he'd need to learn how to kill him. 

All it took was knowing Danny and Jason were ghosts and with enough digging in the right areas he might find out about Blood Blossoms, or ghost weapons. And Danny would raze the Earth before he'd let Batman have those as 'contingencies' in case he needed to 'eliminate' Jason. 

But Danny trusted the love he could feel pouring from Dick. Trusted that Dick would sooner burn every last FentonWorks weapon and blueprint before he let anyone have a weapon that could take his brother away from him a second time. 

Bruce Wayne might be so calculating and devoted to his Mission that he'd sacrifice even his own children, but Danny felt that Dick would pick his family over the world every time. And for that reason alone, for the love he felt in Dick that he'd only felt the match of in Jazz when she looked at him or Jason, he trusted Dick to know their secrets.

"He picked me up in a cemetery." Jason said bluntly, Dick freezing mid bite.

"Actually, I picked him up from his own grave to be exact." Danny corrected, Jason rolling his eyes and nudging Danny with an elbow. 

Dick's face went white again, his eyes widening comically as he looked back and forth between the pair.

"Y-Your own grave?!" Dick choked out.

"Well yeah. Where else would you find someone who came back from the dead? In Walmart down the zombie aisle?" Jason asked as Danny snickered.

"Right next to the Ghost aisle and across from the revenant aisle! And beside the Ouija boards!" Danny threw in with a cackle that had Jason snorting. "He cost me a whole thirty-nine ninety-nine!" Danny got out between laughs and Jason gave up, burying his head in his hands as he laughed. 

"How are you so-so flippant about this?! He died!" Dick snapped at Danny who went from laughing to straight faced with a speed that obviously threw Dick off.

"Yeah? So did I. Try having several millions volts run through you at the same time as a portal to fucking hell is ripped open on top of you at fourteen." Danny shot back coldly, but with no venom. 

Jason settled a warm hand on Danny's shoulder, pulling him close and making the stool screech against the floor as Jason fit Danny against his side. Danny let himself relax into the protective embrace, not oblivious to the way Jason shifted his body so Dick couldn't see Danny at all. 

He was fine talking about his death, had told the story enough times that it didn't affect him. Hell it hadn't even bothered him at the time, he'd gotten cool powers and he couldn't even remember the pain or it happening! 

It was only years later that Jazz sat him down and explained that was a trauma response, that the event had been so traumatic his brain had blacked out the memory of it happening to protect him. Had made him look at it as a joke to help him cope with the fact he'd died, and died in indescribable agony. 

Once he'd gotten through actually handling that with Jazz there to help him through he could talk about it even easier, and joke about it more. But that didn't change the fact he could remember it now. Remember the pain. Or the fact that electricity was now something he both feared, and was almost attracted to. 

If anything talking about his death was more traumatic to Jason, who always seemed to feel guilty he hadn't been there to stop it. Even though they hadn't known each other then. 

Danny pulled slightly away from Jason so he could see Dick again, but didn't miss how Jason kept his hand on his shoulder. As if ready to pull him out of sight at a moments notice.

"I-Shit. I'm sorry. I didn't. I didn't know." Dick deflated, shoulders slumping and looking so much like a kicked puppy Danny wanted to bundle him up and cuddle him. 

"It's fine. I got some cool bonuses out of it, and because of that I was able to find and help Jason when he needed it." Danny gave Dick a warm smile, glad to see the older man smile hesitantly back. 

"You'll find that people like me and Jason, those who have died and those who weren't lucky enough to come part way back, tend to be rather chill," Jason groaned at the pun, "about it. Most of us will even talk your ear off about how we died. So don't ask unless you're ready to hear the gorey details. It's only the ones who died recently that still have a lot of trauma connected to it." Danny elaborated, and he could practically see the questions spawning in Dick's head.

"How did. How did Jason come back?" Dick seemed to settle on one question out of the probably hundreds he had and Danny grabbed his plate, dragging it closer as he took a bite of a crepe, nodding at Jason to talk. Jason frowned at him and sighed.

"We still haven't figured it out. It was six months after I died. I just. Woke up. In my coffin and Danny was there. Apparently I didn't come back enough and he had to do some emergency ghostly first aid bullshit so I didn't croak again." Jason reluctantly spoke up, apparently not enjoying being the one to speak as Dick switched his attention back to him. 

Danny could see Dick thinking, doing the math. Saw and felt when he realized how long Jason had been back. Felt the pain and anger when he realized Jason had stayed away on purpose. Danny knew Jason felt it too by the way his body stiffened and the hand on his shoulder tightened, heating up as if the fire in his core was burning under his skin. 

"You've been alive for two and a half years. And you didn't come back?" Dick finally asked, voice soft and deadly. Jason flinched as if struck, leaning away from his brother. Danny stepped in, the urge to protect roaring to life inside of him.

"That's the thing. He isn't alive. Neither of us are. Not really. We're half dead, Dick. And that comes with a host of things Jason needed time to figure out, in a place with others like him who could teach him and help him. Protect him." Danny snapped, drawing those burning blue eyes onto himself and away from Jason who was wound so tight Danny feared he'd snap. 

"We-We could have helped him." Dick tried weakly and Danny let out a short, cruel laugh.

"Oh really? Do you know anything about what it's like to die, Dick? Do you know how to help someone who is half alive and half dead? Do you even know what abilities we have? Or what to do when the elemental core forms? Or even what we need to consume to stay healthy? No. You don't because there's only two others like us in existence. Your 'help' could very well have done more harm than good." Danny was ruthless as he shot Dick down. 

He knew he was being a bit mean, but he wasn't going to let Dick blame Jason for needing the time he took. He was not going to let Dick, or anyone else, think this could have played out any differently and ended better. 

If anything if they had found Jason instead  it could've ended up so much worse. Without someone as durable as a ghost around to help Jason manage his new abilities and the stronger emotions,  everyone around him would've been in danger. Let alone the damage Jason would've suffered being a new halfa in an area without enough ectoplasm to sustain him. That alone would've driven him half mad from starvation. 

"Besides. Why would he want to come back Dick? When it took Batman what, seven months to replace him? Why would he think any of you even wanted him back?" Danny knew it was a low blow, but it needed to be said. 

Dick rocked back as if Danny had sucker punched him, and Jason's grip on his shoulder turned crushing. Jason didn't speak to reprimand him, and Danny knew it was because he was saying what Jason had been thinking since he'd found out about the new Robin. 

"We still wanted him! I still wanted him! He could've come to me. I mourned him every single day for three years!" Dick slammed his hands on the counter, the plates and glasses shaking from the force. 

"How was he supposed to know that, Dick? Did you ever make him feel like he could come to you? Did you ever make him feel like you were really his brother?" Danny hissed, leaning forward as his lips stretched to reveal rows of pointed teeth. 

"Stop being so selfish. Realize that you fucked up, and stop making this about you. Jason's here now. Don't push him away because you want to throw a tantrum because I guarantee if we don't want you to find us you never fucking will." Danny warned, knowing his eyes were flashing toxic green based on the way Dick flinched back. It was as if Danny had poked a hole in a balloon, the way Dick's anger leaked out of him, deflating him.

"Danny." Jason spoke softly, a warning in his voice. 

Danny took a deep breath, settling back on his chair as he forced his form to revert back to something mostly human rather than almost his ghost form. If there was one thing guaranteed to set him off it was anyone hurting Jason. 

"I'm sorry Dick," Jason turned to his brother as Danny pressed into his side, partially kept there by Jason's restraining hand. Like the other halfa was worried Danny might actually attack his brother. 

"I know I was gone for a long time. And I know that... hurt you. But I couldn't come back. I wasn't ready." Jason forced the words out, and Danny knew it was only because of Jazz's influence that Jason was able to be this honest about his emotions at all. 

Danny would have to tell her about this, she would be so proud and it would make Jason blush to have her praise him for using what she had been teaching him.

"I'm sorry too Little Wing, that I failed you. If I had been a better brother you wouldn't have felt like you didn't have a home here. You've always had a home with me. You always will." Dick was on the verge of crying again as he looked at Jason.

"I accept your apology. We both messed up. But maybe... we can try again?" Jason offered hesitantly. 

A smile like the sun breaking out from behind storm clouds blossomed on Dick's face as he threw his arms around Jason, managing to even entangle Danny in the hug. Seriously, if Danny didn't know better he'd think Dick was a halfa with how far his arms could reach. 

"Yes! Yes! I promise I'll be a better brother! I'll be the best big brother in fact!" Dick promised as he squeezed Jason, and a bemused Danny, tight. It was a good thing neither halfa needed to breathe, because Danny wasn't sure they could. 

"Awesome. We talked about our feelings. Can we finish fucking eating now?" Jason demanded when he had enough of being used as a human teddy bear stress ball. Dick chuckled wetly as he pulled back,  looking at their half eaten food.

"Yeah. But uh can we also discuss the whole half dead thing? And the Ghost shit you keep mentioning?" Dick asked as he picked up a piece of bacon. Danny and Jason traded looks.

"So. What do you know about ghosts Dick?" Danny asked with a smirk.

"I've seen Paranormal Activity?" Dick offered and Jason snorted into his glass.

"Alright, I hope you don't have plans for today because this is going to take a few hours. Welcome to The Undead 101." Danny rubbed his hands together with a grin as Dick looked between them with trepidation. Danny cackling only seemed to make him more wary.

"So. When people die they don't always always stay dead..."

Red Knight Tag Cult

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The King and his Red Knight

DPxDC crossover fic

Part 1

Really sorry to everyone who suffered through the fact that I didn't know about the existence of readmore. I can't fix the thread now but the individual posts are better? Sorry I have like a very rough idea of how this site works 😭

Check the: The King and his Red Knight tag to find all the parts

"Go here, Danny. Go then, Danny. Go to a random cemetery in the middle of the night for no reason, Danny." A voice grumbled, accompanied by the sound of sneakers rhythmically tapping stone.

Danny Fenton, currently Phantom, sat on a gravestone, his white hair a beacon in the dark night. There were no stars in the sky for him to gaze upon, their light hidden behind swaths of smog and neon lights playing off the gray clouds.

Clockwork had dumped him here, with no explanation for why. Not that he ever really explained much when he sent Danny off on his tasks. He supposed he should be grateful, at least he was in the same when rather than being transported a thousand years into the past.

"Wait here King Phantom. You will understand in time." Danny mimicked his mentor's voice as he let himself float off the grave he'd been dumped on after Clockwork shoved him out of a portal. His body floated higher until he could flip around, his legs crossing. He sat upside down, his chin in his palm as he glared petulantly at the assembled gravestones surrounding him, his toxic green eyes glowing.

"So far all I've seen is a concerning amount of ecotplasm for a city without a ghost portal and some blob ghosts! How long am I supposed to wait here?" Danny asked the air, and the aforementioned blob ghosts who were hanging off his body, soaking in the ambient ecotoplasm he radiated at all times now.

Neither provided him with an answer to his question and Danny let out a frustrated groan as he lowered his still flipped body to look once more on the gravestone he'd been tasked with waiting on.

Jason Todd, the name read. The dates, too close together, made something in Danny squeeze painfully. He'd been young, barely older than Danny when he stepped into the portal. Only for this teenager there had been no ectoplasm to bind to his dying body and repair the damage of death and force him back into a semblance of life.

"Who were you and why did Clockwork send me to you?" Danny asked the gravestone, one clawed finger tracing the words before he pulled back with a sigh when the gravestone gave him no explanation. The dead didn't always speak, not even to their king.

Turning his body Danny looked over the rest of the cemetery. It was empty, as most usually were this time of night, of the living. There were a few shades wandering around, circling closer to him, drawn by his presence. No full ghosts though, but oddly enough there rarely were in cemeteries. This was where the dead came to rest. To remember, if they wanted to. Cemeteries were sacred spaces to the dead, much as a temple or a church would be for the living who were religious. Ghosts who still clung to life, to their obsessions, did not frequent cemeteries, did not dare trespass and disturb those who had already found their peace.

Danny himself was an oddity. He had never shied from cemeteries, enjoying the peace he found in them, the guarantee of safety offered. And perhaps, he mourned that he himself would never have a gravestone for the living to place their flowers and their tears at. Who would make a grave for someone who was both alive and dead? There would never be a body to bury for him. His human half would continue to live on so long as his ghost core remained and could fuel it.

Maybe that was why he found peace in cemeteries, for all his whining that Clockwork had dumped him here. Cemeteries were for the living and the dead, one of the only places both existed in harmony naturally. For someone who was as much dead as he was alive such a place held a certain degree of belonging for him.

Danny straightened out in the air, letting his body lie above the grave as he folded his arms behind his head and looked up at the covered sky. He complained and whined about this task, but he was secretly glad that Clockwork had given him something to do. Even if it was just 'hang out in a random cemetary'.

Ever since he'd graduated high-school, revealed himself to his parents and discovered how deep prejudice and hate could run, and he'd run away to the Infinite Realms for sanctuary while his friends moved forward with their lives, he'd felt unmoored. A ghost with no haunt. Bored was too light a word for the gaping emptiness he felt in his chest, for the loneliness clawing at him. Clockwork, Wulf, Pandora they could help chip at the ache inside of him but not banish it. Not now that his family, his friends, were spread so far apart and so distant from him.

Not that he resented their choices, their distance, in fact he'd fought for them to do just that, to get out of Amity Park, to go to college, to become more than overworked teen superheroes. Still he missed them, even if he could visit them whenever he wanted. It was becoming clear as time moved forward that the world they belonged to and the one he did were two different things.

Danny Fenton couldn't go to college when his parents had declared him dead. Danny Fenton didn't exist as far as the government was concerned. Danny Phantom couldn't return to Amity when those same parents were waiting to capture him and tear him apart 'molecule by molecule'. Danny Phantom couldn't go back when the GIW were crawling over the town like ants.

So neither Danny Fenton or Danny Phantom returned to Amity after that day. And he made sure they couldnt follow him when he ensured the portal that took his life to function never opened again. He didn't need the portal any longer to get in and out of the Infinite Realms, and it was safer for the ghosts, his subjects, if the temptation of the Fenton portal was gone.

The world of the living was not yet ready to accept that the dead didn't always stay dead. And Danny would keep his people safe until they were.

Danny jolted from his lazing state of reverie when a pulse of emotion rocked through him, the strength of it stealing his breath if he had any to take.

Fear/Trapped/Dark/Fear/Help/HELP pounded into him and Danny frantically flipped around, head swiveling, poisonous green eyes wide as he triedf to locate the source. The emotions, the plea for help, burned his core, his Obsession screamed at him.

Help/SomeonePlease/Dark/Trapped/CANTBREATHE/HELP another wave of messages, of emotions pushed themselves at Danny and this time underneath the onslaught he could hear a rhythmic thudding. Danny looked down, horror filling him when he realized the thudding was coming from under the ground. From the grave he'd been hovering over for an hour now.

Danny flew down, sending back a wave of I'mHere/HelpIsComing/I'mComing to the boy trapped in his own coffin, feeling the intense wave of relief and hope sent back before he dived into the earth as if it wasn't there. Danny paused for a moment when he passed the thick wooden coffin, seeing a boy in the dark with wide, panicked blue eyes and fingers tipped with shredded nails and fresh blood.

"Hey, I'm going to get you out of here, okay?" Danny told the boy, keeping his voice gentle, soft. The boy jolted, fixating on the only source of light, Danny's growing green eyes. Danny hoped his smile came off as calming instead of 'freaky AF' as Tucker liked to call it. He grabbed the boy, Jason, as carefully as he could and then let his intangibility wash over the terrified teen as he lifted them both out of the coffin.

When they emerged from the coffin and the ground Danny set the teen down, leaning him against the gravestone, his own gravestone, and pulled back a bit. The boy was gasping in air as if the fetid, polluted air was the sweetest thing he'd ever tasted.

Danny tilted his head as he watched the boy ground himself. Now that the emotions were leveling out and his Obsession was purring in contentment rather than growling in a frenzy, Danny could feel something off about the boy.

Disregarding the fact that he'd just come back from the dead, of course. But that wasn't the oddest thing Danny had seen in his afterlife. No the boy felt... not like a normal, living human. Not even like an Amity Park resident, who all felt more than slightly liminal. No this boy, this Jason Todd, felt closer to liminal than even Jazz, Tucker or Sam, who were three of the most liminal humans Danny had ever been around.

Jason felt almost...like a ghost. But not. Danny could feel the tickle in his throat that proceeded his ghost sense but the tell-tale mist never emerged. It was as if Jason was...like him. But Danny couldn't sense a core either. Even halfas had cores.

"Who are you?" Jason spoke, breaking Danny from his thoughts and examination. Jason was looking at him with a mix of gratitude and suspicion. Which, fair. Danny had just pulled him from his own coffin and there were so many questions that could stem from all of this, disregarding all the weirdness that was just Danny himself.

"I'm Danny, Danny Phantom. Or just Phantom. I go by either. And you're Jason, right?" Danny asked, smiling at the teen and oops, yeah that was definitely his scary smile based on the slight flinch there. It wasn't his fault his teeth were too sharp now and his lips split a bit too wide.

"How did you know that?" Jason asked, blue eyes narrowing. Danny nodded at the gravestone the boy was leaning against with a raised brow. Jason turned and almost toppled over from the movement. Danny frowned as the boy caught himself on his gravestone. His skin was still pale, too pale, and as Danny watched Jason swayed again.

"Shit. You're fading. You didn't form a core and your body isn't stabilizing." Danny cursed, moving towards the boy who scrambled back, only to be stopped by his grave.

"What the hell are you doing?" Jason asked, hands fisting as he tried to rise only to fall back to the ground when his legs refused to hold his weight.

"Saving your life. The dead aren't supposed to come back. There's always a price to pay, a balance that is struck. Currently, as you are, if I don't get enough ectoplasm in you to form your core, you'll fade and turn into a brain-dead husk." Danny told Jason, tone stern and no nonsense as he grabbed him. Jason made an effort to break free, but it was weak, and even at full strength, he wouldn’t have been able to break Danny's hold. Few in this realm could.

If they had the time, Danny would've approached this situation in a far different manner, but this close he could hear Jason's heartbeat, a weak flutter in his chest, skipping beats as it tried to fuel a body that was past saving. Jason didn't have the time for Danny to approach this gently and kindly, to coax trust out of the teen like he would a feral cat.

Jason had minutes left before his ectoplasm starved body consumed itself trying to make a core and failed because while wherever they were had more ambient ectoplasm than most places, it was far from enough to sustain the birth of a halfa. Maybe if Jason had stayed dead for another year, he'd have naturally formed a core and risen as a proper ghost. But that wasn't what happened, somehow he'd gathered enough to fix his body of whatever wounds or illness had put him in that coffin to begin with and come back to 'life' but without a core to sustain his body he'd be dead, again, in minutes. And Danny was not about to watch while a teenager, another teenager, died.

"How do I know I can trust you?" Jason hissed as Danny pushed his arms down and laid his clawed hands on Jason's chest.

"You don't. But you don't have another choice." Danny said with a shrug. "Now are you going to let me save your life or not?" Danny asked, not moving his hands. He'd save Jason either way but this would be easier if Jason worked with him.

"Fine." Jason spat and Danny smirked as his hands began to glow a toxic green that matched his eyes.

Ectoplasm pooled out of his hands and rushed into Jason, filling him until the boy glowed bright enough to rival the neon lights of the city around them. The green light flared around him like an aura, slowly shrinking but getting impossibly brighter as the glow centralized around his chest until a small glowing ball of green, like a trapped star, blazed from his chest.

Jason gasped, back arching as Danny pulled his hands away and the light vanished under Jason's skin. For a moment Jason's blue eyes burned green and his hair flashed snow white before returning to black, with one single lock of unearthly white left above his forehead. Jason collapsed back against his grave, chest heaving. Danny watched, eyes full of a sad understanding.

"What the fuck was that?" Jason panted out.

"Welcome to the world of the half alive, half dead." Danny said with a smile. "Want to get a burger and talk about it?" He asked, standing up and dusting off his hands.

"Make it a chili dog and you've got a deal."

~~~~~

Fixed some typos added some lines

Maybe I'll continue this AU. Maybe not. This scene was in my head for days and I wanted to share

[apothecareful]

telling nick about all the stupid things my coworkers and i do on the line to keep each other in a good mood is everything to me rn

[mingusdewofficial]

[scorpiontattoo]

sitting here fingers fuckin crossed that our mom is srs abt letting us apply to a paid internship over the summer at the place she works bc that money is very sexy step closer to getting away from her. also sorry fuck ton of venting in the tags.