#we're literally fucking cooked

[vamp1re-bait]

sitting in my car at nearly 6 in the morning watching the sun come up and trying very very hard not to cry or vomit

[aro-culture-is]

aro (allopl) culture is (from the anon who gives lots of flowers to their friends) also cooking (mostly baked goods) for your friends as a way to show them you love them! "Oh but giving someone x y z type of baked goods is romantic" "oh but putting that amount of effort on meals for someone has to be romantic (3+ hours)" WRONG!!!! 🔪🔪🔪🔪 my friends are getting nice food because they're great and no one can stop me *evil laugh*

.

[v-tired-queer]

I really, really need to stop signing up to cook things for church when I hate cooking

[dollyprincessollie]

had a dream last night that i like sang your bed by cub but kept like changing the lyrics to be about ygor universal studios epic universe Dark Universe. idk what this means.

it was specifically these parts btw ider what i changed it to but looking at this makes me like ??? what was going on in my subconscious

[dykekarkat]

forced to help my sister with her world history work on christmas eve and im currently extremely scared for highschool students and their ability to understand and apply information

[pumpkinrootbeer]

two game suspension. at this point our starting roster is going to be mikko and a prayer

[thatwillreallydoit]

watching a tiktok on syd's omelette scene and people in the comments INSIST "it aint that deep" "its just a cooking scene" LIKE BRO WE'RE SO COOKED IF YOU CANT SEE THE SIGNIFICANCE OF THAT SCENE ON SYDNEY'S ARC ON THE SEASON AND WHAT IT MEANS FOR HER CHARACTER AND THE AUDIENCE TO SEE HER AND UNDERSTAND HER DEEPER MOTIVES

[vivus09]

2024 was the tutorial for 2025.

[psychoticwillgraham]

back <3 made my 'famous' (among my family lol) chicken wings for rich last night as his early bday dinner (his bday's tomorrow) and and he told me that they were better then the vast majority of restaurant's wings he's ever had, bested only by the ones he regularly had in new mexico when he lived there and legit that comment gave me so much serotonin yall have no idea.

[apothecareful]

telling nick about all the stupid things my coworkers and i do on the line to keep each other in a good mood is everything to me rn

[yuquinzel]

atsumu who goes above and beyond to impress you, his crush and classmate of four years, in all definitions of “impress.”

honestly how the fuck isn't it obvious to you by now, he might as well be walking around with “i like y/n” tattooed on his forehead.

you mention you like guys that can cook once and holy fuck atsumu who still doesn't know how to use the microwave without quite literally burning the food, who's never chopped onions before without ending up with enough cuts to bandage his whole hand— that atsumu practices for weeks and stays up till 2 am to prepare for the lunch he'll make for himself, because osamu said said no and then because you bring homemade lunch to stay and eat in class with your friends— he'll casually just plop down on the seat next to you, his friends will then very obviously willingly talk loudly about his lunch and he'll just throw in a, “yeah, made it maself, 'm a solid chef, who do ya think taught 'samu?”

okay if that didn't get your attention, no worries, what are his friends there for?

if atsumu gets lucky in a day and catches you chatting away with your friends in the hallway, then he instructs his friends to walk past you, hover in the corner, just within your earshot— “'kay, so when we pass her by, ya gotta speak ma name real loud, loud enough so she can hear it, but don't annoy her”

and so for the time you stand there, trying to hold a conversation with your friends, all your mind can really focus on is the, “atsumu was so fucking good in practice today, if we're gonna win, then it'll be all him”

and then you hear the subject of the conversation speak, “nah, we're a team, every time we win, it's all thanks ta you guys,” because you also mentioned you like modest, humble guys.

god forbid the days you're absent in class.

atsumu who's sulking all day, doesn't know what the fuck is going on in classes, he's half in and half not in every conversation, even his passes are sloppy and weak. to the point osamu and suna are concerned, well, in their own ways, “are ya constipated or something, yer missin’ your spikes and yer passes as clumsy,” osamu says off-handedly.

“i heard y/n didn't come today, i think her friends said she's sick.” suna chips in, and atsumu shrinks in his spot like a grumpy cat.

“i already know that, wouldn't have come today if i knew she wasn't comin’.”

“you'd miss practice then.”

“don't care, don't talk to me, don't wanna do anything, what's the point.”

“down fucking bad,” suna muses, and atsumu glares at him.

atsumu's day is ruined and his disappointment is immeasurable. why did you get sick? how could you get sick? now he's worried and half of himself and his passes are shit and god, he wants to see you. he feels like he could die.

then when you finally show up the next day after what felt like eternity to atsumu, you find on your desk a pile of snacks with a little note— banana milk, everyone knows it's your favourite, the bar of chocolate they only sell down the convenience store near the school, the glazed donuts that you're always eating in class, and a lot of bubblegums that only one person in class knows you like— atsumu's handwriting is rushed and barely comprehensive but you know it by heart because he doesn't know you saw him slip the note you found in your locker this morning, and countless other mornings—

“i hope you smile because of this”

atsumu as a secret admirer is... not so secret because he's still unaware that you see him every morning, and let him giggle to himself as he slips the notes and the strips of bubblegums in your locker— you don't even like that flavor.

but he gave them, so you think they might just be your favourite.

then again, maybe atsumu doesn't want to be a secret admirer.

atsumu has a crush on you and you know that— he's very obvious. but he's also very dense and doesn't realise that everyone besides him can see you like him too. he doesn't know the only reason you bring homemade lunch is because he had started to eat lunch in class with his friends. you stand in the hallways with your friends pretending to talk so that when atsumu's walking past you, his friends will practically yell his name and you'll see him blushing shyly. he still doesn't know you come to his every match, cheering for him and scream with joy at every one of his scores.

atsumu makes it obvious he has a crush on you but is stupidly dense that you reciprocate all the same :'))))

© yuquinzel 2024 [ plagiarism is a violation of moral rights ! ]

POSTING BECAUSE WHY TF NOT HUH HUHHHHHHHHH

@kyoghurts hi bbg

[ggidolsmuts]

The Girl That's Out of This World - tripleS Yooyeon

"Liftoff in 3, 2, 1!"

You're slammed into your jump seat, the g-forces pressing against you, metaphorical straps against the literal straps around you. Your ears are filled with the loud roar of thruster explosions, your eyes only seeing blue, then white, then grey as your vessel strives to break through the atmosphere. It's a rough launch, there's lots of rattling, maybe this is the one time things go sideways—fuck why are you thinking like that, fuck fuck fuck—

Everything goes black, and you blink, finding yourself in the stars.

"You good?"

"Yeah, bit of a bumpy launch eh?"

"Eh, it was fine." That's Kim Yooyeon for you, your fellow astronaut on this trip, utterly unflappable she might as well be gliding through life, so unfazeable that she might as well be her own phase of matter. She's already unbuckling herself from the seat and floating to the back. The mission is long, 2 months to be exact, but there's lots to do. "Monitor the systems."

"Copy." You stay seated, coordinating with mission control until finally you call out to her.

"We're enroute to the space station."

"Copy, support systems are operational, no damage from the launch."

"Really? After all that rattling?"

"All bark and no bite, luckily." Yooyeon straps in again next to you. "Get some sleep, it'll be a few hours before we get to the station." You lean back, and allow yourself to fall asleep to the beeps of the systems and the silence of space.

A higher pitched beep jolts you out of your sleep, and you see the space station ahead.

"Beginning docking maneuvers," you announce, and Yooyeon has shaken herself awake, repeating your order back to you. Both of you hold your breath as you watch the station loom over your craft, and the screen shows your shuttle closing in on the docking port. You move the controls slightly, there's a rumble as contact is made, followed by the whirr of locking mechanisms, and finally—

"Docking complete." Both of you lean back in your seats as the most stressful part of the mission is done.

"Good job, let's get out of here." Yooyeon floats to the shuttle exit ahead of you, and after disengaging the door locks you're both drifting into the space station. "Ah, finally out of this suit."

As you step out of your spacesuit, the helmet catches on your head, giving you a proper smack. You had forgotten—no, not forgotten, gotten used to—how pretty Yooyeon looks. She was the belle of the space force, as pretty as she is sharp. Many of your colleagues were envious that you got to go on a space mission with her, to accompany the angel on her way back to heaven, so to speak. Over the multiple weeks of intense training and preparation though, Yooyeon became your colleague, your teammate, responsible for your life just as you are responsible for hers on this mission, with safety being the priority above all else.

So you stopped seeing Yooyeon superficially, and yet, a far way from the surface of the Earth, you catch yourself staring at her beauty—long black hair, round eyes, ruby lips, delicate as a flower. Yet she's up here in space with you, suffering through the grueling launch and coming out looking like that, while you just... look like you.

"Have you forgotten how to remove the jumpsuit already? We spent so much time training on that."

"Just adjusting to the low grav environment," you mutter as an excuse. The two of you tour the space station, floating through the various segments that make up the station. You arrive at the living quarters—they're small and claustrophobic, but as with anything when you're in space, ironically space is at a premium. Your sleeping cabin is effectively an open coffin, complete with straps to stop you from floating away, there's a curtain for privacy, but that's about it.

Then there's a small kitchen, which is basically just the area that has the "cooking" machine, reheating and rehydrating space food for human consumption. There's a bathroom, also small, and finally the main body of the station where you'll be conducting science experiments, observing the stars, and watching over Earth.

"Everything is operational," Yooyeon speaks into the microphone, communicating with mission control.

"Roger, please begin the experiments whenever you're ready."

The two of you throw yourselves into the work, working with the command center and logging experiment results. In between experiments there were a lot of maintenance to be done, and you two find yourselves in the little nooks and crannies of the space station, checking for cracks, leaks, and loose bolts. It put the two of you in close quarters, and with no perfect substitute for weightlessness there was no small amount of accidental touches and brushes—you didn't notice your hand drifting close to her chest, she didn't notice her leg drifting between yours. But things remained professional for Yooyeon—everything addressed without fluster or embarrassment. You are in space after all, there were much bigger things to be worried about.

You wish you could say the same for yourself. You knew you would have to abstain as much as possible in space, as any cleanup would be quite hard when everything is quite literally floating about, but over time it became harder and harder to ignore Yooyeon. She dressed simply in a t-shirt and shorts most of the time, and even that was enough to distract you—when did her legs look so good, and her thighs muscled yet juicy, how did you not notice it before?

The breaking point came when Yooyeon pushed herself off a wall to get through the station quickly, only to collide with you coming out of the sleeping quarters and sending both of you spinning through the corridor.

"Ah! I'm sorry, I didn't realize you were awake— Ah!" After the collision her top had come loose and it had ridden up, floating well above her waist, giving you a peek at her midriff and simple bra underneath. Hastily she pulls it down, a light blush on her cheeks. "Sorry about that, I thought the coast was clear."

"Yeah, no problem, go ahead. I'll sleep in for a little longer." It was an excuse, as your morning wood had come back in full force—you're way too frustrated to function. As Yooyeon floats away you make the decision to get yourself off, to just get it out of the way. You pull out a foil packet—condoms that your colleagues had pushed on to you.

"Dude why would I need condoms in space?"

"You're up there with Yooyeon, just the two of you, literally no one else in the world there."

"But we're in space, nothing's going to happen, we're not going to have sex in space."

"Who said anything about sex? Sure she wouldn't have sex with you, but just looking at her might be enough after a few weeks up there! What if you just need to get one off, you want your cum floating around in the space station? If you don't take this, when I'm next on the space station I am bringing a black light."

"You guys are fucking ridiculous!" You stuff the foil-wrapped rubbers into a discreet pocket just to shut them up.

Annoyed at your colleagues being right you wrap your tip with the rubber and wrap your hand around your shaft. Your colleagues missed on something though, that it is fucking weird to masturbate in space, in weightlessness, while trying to make sure the condom doesn't slip; while you have no material to work with at all, just the memory of Yooyeon's midriff and bra and thighs; while Yooyeon's looking at you.

Wait what?

"Y-Yooyeon!" you choke out.

"Shh!" She glares at you, and you remember that the monitoring mics are live as work hours just started—two way communication with mission control is great, making you feel less lonely on the space station, but now is the worst time for that! "Do you need my help?" Yooyeon whispers. She's tying her hair up, your brain short-circuting as the ponytail floats in mid-air.

"What? Sorry I— Let me—" Your hands waves about frantically, trying to remove the condom, pull your boxers on, stuff your cock back in, pull your pants back on, and not float towards her while you do it all at the same time.

"Just let me help you." Her hand stops you from pulling up your boxers, and in the next moment Yooyeon's lips are wrapped around your shaft. Your mind is spinning, from the absolute shattering of the image you have of her, to the fact that both of you are floating in space. You grab on to a bar that's in reach, making sure that the sight of Yooyeon giving you a blowjob doesn't float through the space station for any cameras to catch. Your other hand is on Yooyeon's head, presumably to make sure she doesn't float away from you, but more because you never wanted to leave her mouth!

The two of you are near horizontal, lying in weightlessness as Yooyeon continues to push her gorgeous face on your cock. Her tongue swirls, her cheeks hollow, Yooyeon is doing everything to get you to cum.

"Yooyeon!" you whisper harshly, and she flicks her eyes up at you. You throb one last time, and Yooyeon devours you to the base, her nose bumping into your crotch as you begin spilling everything into her mouth. You're pent up after weeks without satisfaction, and now all you can do is keep yourself quiet, biting your t-shirt as you watch Yooyeon stay planted on your hips, your thick and salty load going straight down her throat. Your hips buck, and the motion moves Yooyeon with it as you spurt one more shot into her mouth.

When she finally gets off your cock, her eyes are a little watery, but other than a little swipe of her lips there's no indication that Kim Yooyeon just swallowed the biggest load of your life like it's just another Tuesday (or Wednesday, time gets funny in space).

"All good? Be sure to clean up," she mumbles, and floats away.

What the hell just happened?

Yooyeon leaves you to collect yourself, and she collects her own thoughts too—she had wanted to check in on you, make sure you weren't hurt from the collision earlier. Yet when she saw you in that state, she wanted to make sure things were safe—it wouldn't do to have globs of cum or a filled condom floating in space, an actual choking and biohazard. So she took it upon herself to swallow it all and—

"Mmgh!" Yooyeon can feel it inside her—digesting food is a little odd in space, and when she's swallowed an extra meal worth of seed it is more than a little off, and she suddenly feels full. She puts a hand over her midriff, but has to resist moving it lower. Just as you were pent up, Yooyeon was equally frustrated. She had wondered if you were able to sneak in a self-love session or two, but she never noticed any signs or traces of it, which is good. Now with your abundant load inside her she realizes why that was.

Sadly for her there's no way she could do it, and she shudders and tries to calm herself, to think about the work ahead and not what's in her... No, better to not think about anything being "inside" herself right now.

As the work day winds down on the space station you approach Yooyeon.

"Hey, I just wanted to say I'm sorry, I thought I was alone. You didn't have to, you know."

"I— Yeah, it was unprofessional of me, I just wanted to make sure there wouldn't be anything floating around, I'm sorry."

"N-No no, not at all." You can't believe your ears, Yooyeon's apologizing for blowing you! "Thanks for keeping us safe, I guess?"

"Yeah. Is there anything else?"

"No, please let me know if you ever need some privacy, so we can avoid something like this in the future. I can give you plenty of space."

"That won't be needed, it is infeasible for me to do it in space." You blink rapidly at Yooyeon admission—what does she even mean?

With your pent up frustration relieved you don't think too much of things, and nothing seems to have changed with how Yooyeon treats you, so it fades a little into the background for you as you are consumed by the work that needs to be done.

But for Yooyeon her frustration only builds, she catches herself looking at you below the waist on more than one occasion, wondering if you were hard, wondering if she could see it again. She had not planned on masturbating on this mission, but after what happened she's finding herself flush and warm often. Yet she can't take any more clothes off, taking off anything more would be because— No, she shouldn't think about sex, it doesn't help things! 

The breaking point comes quietly for Yooyeon, on another chance collision. The two of you are passing through the narrow corridors in opposite directions—Yooyeon has just washed up, and you're on the way to do as well. She slips when she tries to push herself through the narrow gap, sending her bumping into you.

"Yooyeon, are you okay? You feel really warm, is it a fever?" You're holding her close, a hand on her forehead. "You're burning, let me get a thermometer."

"No! I just need some rest, I'll turn in early tonight." The truth is Yooyeon's effectively in heat, the sudden close proximity and touch catching her off guard. She retreats to her "bed", strapping herself down and trying to calm herself. She presses her thighs together, hoping her shorts and underwear can absorb enough of her wetness, but it has the opposite effect, as the added friction makes her rub her legs together subconsciously.

When you finish cleaning yourself you return to the sleeping quarters and tie yourself down, but as you try to fall asleep you realize that the usual white noise of the space station is not as it usually is. You hear a continuous rustle, like someone tossing and turning. Yooyeon having trouble sleeping? You debate if you should call out, potentially disturbing her rest even more. Your attentive ears pick up on more detail—the rustle is persistent, less tossing and turning and more rubbing together of fabric. Every so often there is a deep exhale, and you realize what is going on.

"Yooyeon, do you need my help?"

Yooyeon freezes in her bed, like she's standing in front of a line. She knows what you are asking, and you know that she knows, which is why you asked; and she knows that you know that she knows, and so she answers...

"Yes."

She can hear you undo your straps, and soon you would be floating towards her, and then— You're here already, pulling open the curtains! In the dark Yooyeon prays that you don't see her blush, but everything else is showing—her thighs tightly pressed together, her hand down her own shorts, a fistful of absorbent sheets in the other.

"Tell me what you need."

"I need— Want to get off, but the sheets need to be there."

"I can umm, just swallow it all." Yooyeon's heat only grows, now she's thinking about you down there, eating her out and— oh god...

"No, I get really wet when it happens." There's little embarrassment left in Yooyeon, she needed to get off more than anything else! You pause for a moment, and Yooyeon gets even wetter, watching you watch her.

"Give me the sheets." You move in close to Yooyeon, taking them from her. You gently nudge her thighs open with your knee.

"Do you want to take off your shorts—" She pulls one leg out, enough to give you access to her over her underwear.

"No, just like this is good," is her immediate reply. You press the sheets against your thigh and then nudge up between her legs. Instantly Yooyeon traps you there, and so forceful is the shove of her hips downwards that you have to hold on to her to not be pushed away. When you steady yourself to look at Yooyeon the view is mesmerizing—from the neck up, Yooyeon might as well be asleep, eyes closed and breathing deeply. From the waist down however she's outright riding you, grinding herself on your thigh with hip gyrations you didn't even know she could make. She's grinding down on you so hard you have to push up against her, to counteract her strength in the weightless environment.

You're glued to Yooyeon's gorgeous face, even in the dark she looks like she's glowing. You watch her bite the inside of her cheek, her brow furrow slightly, and then she goes slack.

"I'm done," she says quietly. "Thank you."

"Hmm?" It was barely noticeable! Yooyeon was stoic but you never thought she would be this restrained even in climax. "Right."

"Do you need me to help you with that?" You look down at where she's looking—your stiffness poking into her thighs.

"N-No, I'm good, it'll go down. I'll dispose of these, you should rest."

"Okay, thank you." You realize you have to peel the absorbent sheets off your thigh—despite her lack of reaction to her orgasm, she's completely soaked through the multiple layers. As you hold it in your hand you squeeze it a little too hard, and some of it is released. "Oh there's—" Yooyeon can only blush as you catch them in your mouth, swallowing her juices. "You didn't have to do that."

"You did for me, I'm just making sure there are no choking hazards. Good night."

Yooyeon watches you drift away without another word, and her mind is a jumble. She's basking in the glow of her orgasm, oh how she needed that! But she's also conflicted—it was professionally inappropriate, she should never have agreed to your help! She probably should not have sucked you off before either, and it's all a big mess now. Disturbingly, after feeling your hardness poke against her, it's all she can think about even after getting herself off. 

Having disposed of the sheets you float back to bed, trying to calm yourself down and go to sleep. When you hear Yooyeon move in her bed, you clear your throat softly, reminding yourself to not treat every noise from her as sexual.

"Good night." Yooyeon's voice comes soft and clear across space.

You realize neither of you are going to get much sleep that night, and you take a deep breath, trying not to think too much about Yooyeon still being awake.

"G-Good night."

The last two weeks were borderline unbearable, and both of you were on edge. Far above earth, in your little space haven, you and Yooyeon felt like Adam and Eve, having sinfully tasting the sweetness of the forbidden fruit that one time. Yet you're unable to consume each other, to relive it over and over again. Yooyeon has tried to remain professional, but you know she feels the same way, as you've caught her staring just as she has caught you looking—not once has she said anything, reprimanded you for letting your desires get the better of you. Every time you have to slip past her in the corridors, your bodies close to touching, is when space has felt the most dangerous. Even when you had to go on a spacewalk, to fix something on the outside of the station, when all that keeps you from drifting into the void is Yooyeon making sure that you remain tethered, the most dangerous time was when you returned to the station, and Yooyeon was there to help you out of the spacesuit, stripping you, her face at eye level with your crotch. It was almost too much for either of you.

Almost. Somehow nothing happens, and you're strapped into the return capsule with Yooyeon, both of you ready to head home.

"Disengaging the locks."

"Triggering push-off mechanism."

It's almost imperceptible in space, but you're lightly nudged against your seat as the capsule pushes away from the space station. A few minutes later you trigger the thrusters to put you on a trajectory back to Earth. It begins to take up most of your view as you get closer, and you monitor the panels in front of you, watching the readings go down until...

"Entering atmosphere!" Yooyeon starts the return sequence, and all you can do is wait. It gradually gets louder in the capsule as you fall at terminal velocity, and the capsule rattles and shakes. You look out the capsule window, and all you see is red, the air now superheated as it rubs against the surface of your survival cell. A boom, intended of course, is heard as the heat shield around the capsule, having served its purpose, is blown off. Then a second explosion, and you're snapped back even harder against your seat as the parachutes deploy, slowing you down further. A loud continuous roar fills your ears as thrusters fire up, and you and Yooyeon brace for a hopefully survivable impact.

No training could prepare you for this, it still feels like you're going down too damn fast, and all you can do is close your eyes and hope it's enough. Your bones rattle when you finally hit the ground, but you breathe a sigh of relief when everything goes quiet.

"Yooyeon?"

"Yeah, I'm here." She gives you a thumbs up. "All in one piece." You fire one back at her. The capsule door opens up to a rush of people, and both of you are extracted. Quickly you are transported to a hotel, where the two of you are sat down and given a physical.

"Okay, so you two are in good physical condition it looks like, but we're going to keep you in this hotel under observation for another week."

"We can't leave?"

"Preferably not, there will be media hanging around, and we need to do the debrief before you speak with them. You're free to order room service or have food delivered, anything else you need, just let us know."

"Got it."

"Will we have clothes?" Yooyeon pipes up.

"Yes, we'll have a suitcase of your clothes brought up. If there's something missing your family is free to send stuff over." With no further questions you and Yooyeon are led to adjoining rooms. Although your body has no idea what time it is, as soon as you fall on the bed you moan at finally feeling a mattress on your back and a pillow under your head, and you quickly fall asleep.

Until a rude banging at your door wakes you.

"What the hell? I just got here!" you mutter as you pull the door open annoyed, only to see Yooyeon.

"It's been 5 hours." Yooyeon clarifies. You blink once for every hour you have apparently slept for.

"Has it? Damn, sorry. The bed felt so nice I must have just, yeah."

"Same, I just got up too. It's midnight though and nothing's open, do you want to order room service?"

"Sure but... You want to eat with me?"

"Well we ate every meal together on the space station so I thought—" Yooyeon drifts off, a little abashed. "Sorry, I got too used to the routine out there, have a good night!" You hold the door ajar before she can close it.

"No wait, you're right, let's get some food."

Neither of you order much—despite it being midnight, having just gotten up both of you eat only enough for a "breakfast". As soon as that's done, there's an awkward silence—in space there's jobs to do, experiments to check on, on Earth, right now there's nothing to do, only each other for company, and soon all the "non-work" stuff that happened on the space station floats up in your minds. Yooyeon's the first to breach it, and she does it in the only way she knows how.

"We should have sex."

"Yooyeon what?"

"After... that time, things changed slightly on the station, I know you felt it too. We couldn't get it out of our system then, but you know, we can now. I haven't had a chance to, you know, satisfy myself. Unless you have already, then I'll just—" Yooyeon's words speed up as she realizes what she's admitting to you, that sex has been on her mind since landing back on Earth, that she hasn't gotten herself off yet. With her words, you realize of course, that you haven't gotten yourself off either.

"We should do it, I want to do it too." You barely recognize your own husky voice. The two of you almost defy gravity, flying to the bedroom. There's no shame or shyness, Yooyeon's naked and you're nude in a flash—this was pure need, the tension that built way above Earth crashing down on your bed. No foreplay, no checking with Yooyeon, you needed to be in her. She's tighter and wetter than anything you could imagine in your frustrating fantasies, and you moan, enjoying the feeling of being able to sink into her.

You start with a few thrusts, groaning at how she grips you—she needed this as much as you do! But when you don't hear anything from her at all, you stop and check on Yooyeon—she has her eyes closed again, her chest lightly moving, like she was riding your thigh instead of your cock. You didn't expect a strong reaction from her, but you definitely expected some reaction.

"Yooyeon? You okay?"

"Yeah, it feels good. Why?"

"Just um, couldn't tell if you were enjoying it. I thought you would like it more than what we did on the space station."

"Oh, sorry, yeah it's good. I'm not... very fun in bed. You're my third and... The first two guys didn't go so great."

"How so?"

"The first guy, we broke up because I was too messy in bed." After seeing how wet Yooyeon got, and how she's already making a small wet spot on the bed, you disagree but his loss is arguably your gain.

"And the second guy?"

"Said I was like a dead fish in bed, I ditched him because I caught him with someone louder and more 'fun', his words."

"Damn, that's rough, I'm sorry to hear that."

"Don't be, but yes it's great for me, I'll try to be more responsive if I can."

"Just tell me what you're feeling." You start moving in and out of her again.

"It feels good." You hug her, whispering into her ear.

"Tell me more, more than good."

"You're stretching me, I haven't done this in a while, so it's really intense. You're also... wide? It's different." It's both hot and a bit disconcerting, hearing Yooyeon's version of dirty talk.

"What do you want from me? Should I go slower, faster, deeper, shallower?"

"I..." Yooyeon falls silent as she tries to process your words and feel you at the same time. She didn't lie when she said she felt good, and maybe it's because she's finally getting some after the tension in space, but Yooyeon knows she's wetter than usual, her walls extra sensitive. She's too tense, she should relax more, enjoy the sex and—

"More!" Yooyeon's yelp surprises both of you. As she consciously relaxes, her walls give a little, and when you thrust you end up just that little bit deeper in her. It hits her like a comet—Yooyeon's hand on her mouth, eyes wide open, but her pussy flutters around your shaft. You pull out slowly, and when you sink back in, making sure to get just as deep as you did before, Yooyeon whines—she wants this, this is different!

"Something tells me you're not wholly at fault for being a dead fish in bed."

"Deep! It feel so— Mmm!" Yooyeon tries to muffle herself with her hand, and you have to pull it away. "I'm sorry I can't—"

"Don't hold back, now you sound like you're having fun."

Yooyeon can feel her cheeks heating up—normally she's reserved, in control of herself. Even when she's horny she just gets wet, but she never makes a sound, not if she doesn't want to—feeling good is one thing, showing that she's feeling good is another thing altogether. And yet as she looks down her body, when she watches your slick covered shaft enter her and feels the immense pressure as you push in, like you're splitting her open; when she hears the squelch of her own pussy, and feels her thighs get wet when she leaks and squirts more juice; when her chest swells, and the moan she's holding back pushes its way out of her mouth, Yooyeon can't help but think that losing control of herself feels good, that feeling so much pleasure until she loses control is amazing.

"It feels so good, don't stop, don't stop!" Yooyeon cries out, like you've unblocked or unsealed something deep inside of her. Your own head is spinning, her sudden transformation shocking you and pushing you to go even harder, to hear more of her. You grab her thighs, squeezing them and pulling her towards you on every thrust. She's splattering against your hips on every thrust, your grip on her thighs is fucking slippery. You notice her thighs are around red around where you're grabbing her, but then no, the flush is spreading throughout Yooyeon's body.

"Oh!" It's a sharp yelp, one that gives you pause—Yooyeon's looking down her body at you, and you feel her legs shaking. She opens her mouth to say something, but it's too late.

"FUCK!" Yooyeon throws her head back and screams. Her hips buck strongly, causing you to slip out of her. You suddenly feel something warm on your stomach—thick and translucently white, sliding down your body.

Kim Yooyeon's girl cum, ejaculated, ejected, expelled! Splattered all over you.

The sound of Yooyeon swearing for the first time you can remember, the sight of Yooyeon's body twisted in ecstasy, and the warm, gooey sensation of Yooyeon so thoroughly losing it—everything combines to send you over the edge. You're cumming too, your cock throbbing with a mind of its own, leaking onto Yooyeon. You're just as pent up as her, and you let out a low moan as your hand moves automatically, stroking and firing your load all over Yooyeon's trembling body.

"Ah... Damn Yooyeon!" You manage to roll yourself on your back, not landing on Yooyeon and not getting too much of her cream on the bed. The two of you just lie there, breathing heavily, riding the high of finally getting to fuck.

"Mmm..." Yooyeon's mind is floating like she's back in space, and she has to curl her toes to remind herself she's still alive and conscious. She swears she can still feel you throbbing inside her, something more alive than her. When she opens her eyes again she finally sees the ceiling instead of stars, and she hears your rough breathing next to her. Yooyeon runs a hand down her body, finding herself sweaty and sticky—it really happened, you two just had sex, and it was the most intense pleasure she ever felt. "Wow."

"Yeah. You okay?"

"Yes, just, never felt quite like that before." She has to bite her lip to stop a whimper from coming out—just your touch on her body, the tissues you're rubbing on her to clean her up, is sending sparks flying in her head. An irresistible urge is building inside Yooyeon, a newly awakened need. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Can I kiss you?" You blink at her, confused, but you see her squirming under your gaze.

"I mean, we've done everything past kissing so, why not?"

Yooyeon climbs into your lap, resting her hands around your neck. Your eyes rove up her body, from her thighs straddling you, pussy lips still parted slightly, to her chest, nipples still stiff, at attention, yearning for more. Your gaze goes to her lips, and you can see the teeth mark, where she bit down on earlier, and you look to her—

Her lips are too close!

"Mmph!" Yooyeon's short hair tickles your shoulders, but more importantly her lips are soft against yours, and she's leaving her marks on your lip, lightly nipping and tugging. Yooyeon pushes herself more insistently on to you, you have to take more of her weight until—

"Yooyeon!" You have to lie down, and Yooyeon's clinging to you on top, her arms wrapped around your neck and shoulders.

"Can we cuddle like this?

"If you want." To your surprise Yooyeon sighs, and she melts into you, face buried in your neck and completely relaxed.

"You okay?"

"Mm, let's just stay like this." Finally satisfied and happy Yooyeon lets her mind wander, her breath warm on your neck. She never felt like cuddling with her exes, but then again she's never felt this good sleeping with them. They would be out of bed by now, leaving Yooyeon alone in bed or worse, having to get herself off. "Why didn't we do this sooner?" she sighs, whispering to herself.

"We were in space." Yooyeon freezes—she didn't think you heard that! "The cleanup would have been impossible."

"I know, I meant, before that."

"Well, you were you, and I was I."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"You're not dumb, you know we do not look... good together." Yooyeon pushes herself up, and she looks annoyed, almost angry.

"So? What about now? We work well together, I know I can trust you with my life, we can rely on each other even in space, there's nothing more important than that."  Yooyeon's gaze is piercing through you, she's dead serious. "Don't you agree?"

"Yeah but, that's different—" Yooyeon kisses you again.

"I like you, I can't say I love you yet, but that comes with time right?" Her confession keeps you silent. "Besides, we're having sex, making love, as they call it. We just need to make more love."

"I don't think that's—" She nips on your earlobe, and you're finding yourself speechless more often than not around Yooyeon.

"I do think we feel good together, I don't think you dislike me, so I would like us to feel good, a lot." You never realized Yooyeon could switch on a dime like this, she's trying to seduce you.

"I don't dislike you, of course," you answer, throat dry, scarcely believing what's happening.

"Good, I'm happy. We just need to make lots of love then. Can you go again?" She's reaching down your body, finding your cock and stroking it, feeling it's firmness in her grasp.

"Yeah." You manage to confirm Yooyeon's findings, choking out a gasp at the end as she runs a finger over your tip.

"I'll be on top, I think I'm wet enough already." She most certainly is as your cock feels like it's being covered by the best "wet blanket" ever when she sinks down on to you. "You're getting really... Ah! Deep in me!" Her hand flies down to her flat tummy, right below her bellybutton, as if showing you just how far you're reaching into her. "I'm surprised you're not pushing a bulge out of me, it certainly feels like it."

"Yooyeon you can't just say that!" you murmur through gritted teeth. Yooyeon's weirdly technical interpretation of dirty talk is very effective, making you process what she means, and immediately allowing your imagination to show them to you in vivid detail.

"I'm just telling you what I feel. I'm sorry I'm getting you so wet, you remember how I was on the space station right? This is like ten, no, a hundred times more intense!" It certainly is true for you—you watched Yooyeon grind herself on your thigh to get off, and have replayed that scene in your head numerous times afterwards. Yet nothing prepares you for how Yooyeon's grinding down on you now, arguably even more strongly and demanding. With gravity and a bed to push against, Yooyeon's half bouncing and half grinding herself into you, and every time she sinks down on to your shaft, it's like she's pumping herself for juices, leaking her slick all over your crotch.

Except this time you can see her expression—her eyes are still closed, but her mouth is slightly open, letting out small moans. Her brow tenses and relaxes, as do her lips, the edges of her mouth curling into a smile every time she does so, like she's cumming again and again. It is as if Yooyeon has let all her guards down, and she looks utterly divine, like she does belong in heaven.

Oh, and her pussy has a velvet grip around your cock the whole time, trying to tug and suck and pull the cum right out of you.

"When we fall in love, I want us to procreatively fornicate like this."

"Pro-what?"

"Procreative fornication. You know, babymaking sex, breeding."

"You can't just say that, unless you want that to happen right now you should get off!"

"What? Why?"

"I can't hold on much longer, I'm going to cum in you!"

"Oh, you want to start right now? That's a little early but I don't mind..." You were going to stop her, trying to stop yourself, trying to clarify that she misunderstood, but Yooyeon leans in and whispers in your ear.

"You can fill me up."

With a rasp you draw a deep breath and grab Yooyeon by the hips, pulling her down fully. It is the best misunderstanding of your life as you unload deep inside her, with Yooyeon narrating dirtily into your ear the whole time.

"Ah! It's so warm inside me, you still have so much for me? You're really filling me up I— Nngh it's too much!" Yooyeon moans and buries her face in your shoulder. She shudders, and sighs, cumming again and prolonging your climax. You continue to weakly thrust up into her, and Yooyeon's body undulates with you, both of you trying to milk each other for all the pleasure you can get.

You're cuddling Yooyeon again right after, your load still freshly dripping between her legs—you wanted to clean her up, but she refuses to, insisting on cuddling first.

"Why did you let me cum in you?"

"I thought you wanted to."

"I do. No I mean, eventually, but not right now!"

"Are you worried about being safe?" You nod. "We're not in space anymore, we don't have to be safe on Earth." You can't tell if Yooyeon's messing with you, or if your point is orbiting Earth and has sailed over her head completely.

"No safe like, what if you get pregnant now?"

"Oh, I'm on pills, can you imagine ovulating in space? I'll go off it slowly so, it can't happen right now, but in the future." You breathe a sigh of relief.

"Good, we really shouldn't rush into things like that." You watch Yooyeon dip a hand between her legs, swiping up some of your seed before smearing it on her thigh.

"Of course, but for the time being, you can finish in me whenever you want, it felt really nice." You shake your head, and Yooyeon looks at you quizzically. "What?"

"How can you just say that so casually?"

"You told me to tell you how I feel. I just stated a fact, and then how I felt about it."

"You're impossible, say it again?"

"You can finish in me whenever you want, it feels really good?" You chuckle and kiss a nonplussed Yooyeon.

"You have no idea how hot you sound."

The first night Yooyeon returned to her room to sleep, but by Day 3 you're going to her bedroom to sleep, because you've discovered that Yooyeon was, for lack of a better term, a wet nympho, and she has completely ruined your sheets by coming over nightly.

That's not the only thing you've discovered about Yooyeon either—she's wet when she's on top, but when you're in charge Yooyeon can't help but get sticky, creaming around your cock instead of squirting on you. Yooyeon's discovering a lot about you too, encouraging you to find out more.

"I like grinding on your thigh, do you want to see if you like rubbing yourself on my thighs?" You do, and to her surprise Yooyeon finds the back of her thighs sticky and warm after giving you a thighjob.

"Do you want my hair up or down when I use my mouth? Oh, or you can decide!" That's how you find yourself holding on to Yooyeon's hair, tugging it as she sucks you off. There's no need to keep her from floating away, and you can't help but push her down on to you. She forgets about gravity, and your load spills out from her mouth, prompting an emergency cleanup for the both of you.

Yooyeon's discovering a lot about herself as well, and she tells you every single lurid detail.

"Oh, right there... you're pushing against my cervix there, it's so... nngh! You're so big!"

"Put your hand here, press down and— Ah! You feel even bigger like that, can you feel yourself? You're rubbing my g-spot so well. I think I like it more from behind, you seem to thrust harder from behind, is it because you like it more?"

"Yes," you growl out, answering Yooyeon's rambling dirty talk succinctly, thrusting into her harder.

"You're throbbing so hard, how are you getting bigger? Are you close? Can we finish together? I want us to finish together, and I'm so close I— Nnngh thank you!"

By Day 5 both of you are down to only one set of clothing left, which you wear only when the two of you have debriefs or checkups during the day. Yooyeon decides to completely forgo clothing around you otherwise, and right after that you make the same decision, the two of you going from forward-looking astronauts to Adam and Eve in about a week.

"I'm so tired, but I don't want to stop..." Yooyeon whines as you pound down into her prone form.

"We should, ugh, take a break soon."

"After this, maybe. Can you mating press me?" It's so completely casual now the way she asks for it, and you comply just as naturally, kissing her as you bend her knees all the way back to her shoulders.

"I'm so sore but it still feels so good!"

"Same, I'll cum with you, cum hard for me!" You pin her wrists with your hand, rendering her powerless to do anything, and she loses it.

"Ah! I will if you ask me to—" Yooyeon screams as you bend her knees back just that little bit more, thumping against her sweet spot, and she splatters you with sticky creamy girl cum right as you flood her womb with thick seed. Your arms give out and you collapse on top of her, utterly drained. Yooyeon giggles as she strokes your hair, knowing that you've spent yourself completely in her.

"My turn to cuddle you."

And on the seventh day you rested. The two of you come out of the observation period more ragged and drained than when you entered. You were able to explain it away as recovering from getting acclimated to Earth's gravity, but from the looks housekeeping gave you they definitely knew that you two were busy acclimating to each other instead, you just pray they don't tell anyone. 

"We should go out," you bring up to Yooyeon once people are out of earshot.

"We are outside," Yooyeon answers nonchalantly.

"No, like on a date."

"Sure, which day did you have in mind?"

"No Yooyeon, like—"

"Friday at 7?" She's smiling—she really does have the ability to render you speechless.

"I uh, yeah, that sounds good."

"Great, see you at 7 am!"

"I— Wait what?"

Regardless of her communication quirks you start dating Yooyeon and things progress quickly. A few months later she asks you an odd question.

"We've made a lot of love since our first week right?"

"Yes, during that week and after." You've gotten used to Yooyeon's phrasing, but you wonder where she's going with this.

"So how do you feel about us? Should we continue being together? Have we made enough love?"

"Yes." You quickly pick up on her choice of words. "Do you want me to say I love you?"

"Yes."

"I love you Yooyeon." She kisses you, and then proceeds to drop a bombshell on you.

"Good, I love you too. I quit the space force."

"What! Why?"

"They would never send us to space together, they know we're a couple now."

"Yeah but still, I thought you wanted to be in space!"

"I saw Earth from space, that was a lifelong dream of mine."

"I know, so why did you quit? I could have stepped back instead."

"No, that still keeps us apart. I don't need to go to space anymore, because I found someone on Earth I'd rather spend the rest of my life with." She produces a ring, a simple band with a bluish-green gem on top. "I won't get on my knees because I'm already shorter than you, but—" She fumbles the ring, as if trying to figure out which is the right orientation to present the ring before giving up.

"Will you stay on Earth with me?"

A/N: Bit of a random one, there was some discussion of sex in space I saw, and I wondered if it would work, then I wondered who would work in that context, and came up with smart and pretty Yooyeon lol. Also fits with the whole tripleS thing in my mind, I tried to work in a cosmos thing but eh, didn't try very hard lol. I tried to capture some of her...aloofness? Some of the stuff she says makes you do a double take or can be a little goofy so yeah. Thanks for reading!

[stitchposts]

like. fuck. does the general USA knows that washington dc doesn't have representation rights? do you know that 700,000 of us are on the edge of having our services slashed by a literal billion dollars - which was already slated for us to get - and having limited buses, no fire department, no school, no local government? do you know that we're a bargaining chip being tossed to the fucking wolves by dems in the hopes it appeases the gop bloodlust for control? just like the joke 'you dont need to run faster than a bear, you just need to run faster than the guy next to you.'

the region has been in fucking hell for the last two months economically because of the slashes to federal workers. Friends of mine are cooking dinners for interns so they can get hot meals and stretch their money longer. I've been out of work for over a year and no places are hiring.

call your fucking reps and tell them that dc residents are already planning whose doorsteps to leave our trash on when sanitation gets cut. reminding them that we're people who deserve goddamn rights already promised to us didn't seem to fucking work.

[intertexts]

i think it's just that the dissociation brothers have the same amount of secret sauce as like, canon ghostkicks to me. canon ghostkicks has, like..... heart transplant, and kemuri, and dakota cole medical trauma, and william wisp real actual death, and like, there's so much there. there's so much there. and the dissociation brothers have. nearly untenable amounts of brain breaking trauma and are incredibly bad at being people. i do need to think abt nhw ghostkicks a lot more though.

man i really need to do some more wibbyposting and dakotaposting.....

[taasgirl]

somethin' stupid - oscar piastri

summary: carlos sainz's sister, y/n, owns a bakery in barcelona, and during the spanish gp, she begins to see a certain face a little more

a/n: there is no face claim so imagine y/n as you wish!

liked by carlossainz55, landonorris, and 16, 287 others ynbakery Make sure you head into the bakery before the Grand Prix this weekend (don't worry, I will NOT be selling whatever Carlos is making)!

carlossainz55 Plenty of people will want the pancakes I made 😡

landonorris Don't worry Carlos I will try some ynbakery landnorris Get a room you two

carlossainz55 Best bakery in Spain!!

user52 aww carlos is so supportive

lilymhe barca weekend + y/n's pastries = heaven

ynbakery LILY I LOVE YOU

user91 i may not have tickets to the gp, but i do have 3 euros to spend on y/n's famous muffins

user67 I'm so ready for all the drivers to be at the bakery HAHA

liked by ynsainz, oscarpiastri, and 82, 932 others lilymhe the fia need to make barca the only circuit all year round purely because of y/n's pastries tagged: alexalbon, ynsainz, ynbakery

ynsainz you are welcome at my bakery whenever you wish

alex_albon If you haven't had that croissant, you haven't lived

georgerussell63 Real

user28 Y/N'S BAKERY!! PLEASE SOMEONE GET THE GRID IN THERE

user63 IF OSCAR WENT HE WOULD LITERALLY BECOME OSCAR PASTRY LMAOOO

user59 lily and alex are so cute i cant

liked by oscarpiastri, lilymhe, and 33, 209 others ynsainz slide 3 trigger warning tagged: carlossainz55

landonorris HAHAHA

carlossainz55 hermana...

ynsainz sorry king I had to do it

oscarpiastri Will the bakery be open all weekend?

ynsainz yes all days except for sunday!!

user74 y/n you are so beautiful

lilymhe Such a pretty girl 💜 liked by ynsainz

view oscarpiastri's story...

tagged: ynbakery

liked by ynsainz, charles_leclerc, and 3, 726, 198 others scuderiaferrari Raceday pancakes?

ynsainz SOMEONE STOP CARLOS FROM THIS PANCAKE BUSINESS I CANNOT DO IT ANYMORE

user87 i'm crying 😭😭

charles_leclerc I think we should leave the cooking to y/n

ynsainz I agree thank you

landonorris I've never seen someone look worse in an apron and chefs hat @ carlossainz55

user22 what is carlos' obssesion with pancakes...

user98 RACEDAY PANCAKES?? GET THEM IN THE FUCKING CAR

liked by oscarpiastri, charles_leclerc, and 44, 827 others ynsainz race day bitchesss 😎 #idratherbeatmybakery

oscarpiastri I'd rather be at your bakery too

lilymhe excuse me oscar but i was just abt to comment this

user55 y/n clutching up with the charlos pics

user60 sorry but umm oscar??

scuderiaferrari End of race pancakes?

ynsainz STOP NO. NO MORE FUCKING PANCAKES

liked by mclaren, landonorris, and 2, 198, 277 others oscarpiastri Barcelona recap ft. a non-edible y/n croissant

mclaren 🧡

ynsainz hope you enjoyed the gift!!

user87 Y/N GOT OSCAR A JELLYCAT

user52 wake up babe, oscar piastri is making moves on his enemy's sister

carlossainz55 ...

user98 IM SCREAMING

user53 official y/n bakery verdict?

oscarpiastri Really really delicious

liked by carlossainz55, charles_leclerc, and 11, 727 others ynbakery Aaaaaand we're back open! First twenty people in store receive a free muffin from our new range!

oscarpiastri Yummm

ynbakery oh hey pastry boy 🥐

landonorris Oh we'll be stopping by then

user61 we?

lilymhe breakfast, lunch, dinner, and my snack are now sorted for the day (please never close again)

ynbakery I think we need an honorary lily cookie...

view oscarpiastri's story...

tagged: ynbakery

liked by charles_leclerc, ynsainz, and 4, 982, 129 others carlossainz55 Proud to be back at home, we go again 👊

scuderiaferrari 🏎️💨 liked by carlossainz55

oscarpiastri Great race brother

user50 we really got oscar complimenting carlos before gta 6

landonorris Sexyyy

user81 Carlos Sainz the man that you are

user93 thoughts on y/n and oscar 😏

carlossainz55 No thoughts.

view ynsainz's story...

tagged: oscarpiastri

liked by landonorris, alex_albon, and 17, 823 others ynbakery For everyone asking if I can get Carlos to bake some things for the shop... NOOOOOO he only makes pancakes 😢

carlossainz55 They are good pancakes y/n

ynbakery yeah okay.

landonorris Don't let him anywhere near any machinery, you're whole place would be shut down

ynbakery HAHA carlossainz55 Says the man who won't eat fish

liked by lilymhe, ynsainz, and 2, 822, 376 others oscarpiastri My girlfriend is a baker so does that mean I should change my username to oscarpastry? tagged: ynsainz

ynsainz yes i think it does

oscarpiastri Good to know

user44 Y/N AND OSCAR MATCHING JELLYCATS??

carlossainz55 @ ynsainz Are you making pancakes without me

oscarpiastri Don't worry we followed your recipe 🤣 ynsainz oscarpiastri OSCAR DON'T EXPOSE ME

user92 GIRLFRIEND AHHHHHHH

landonorris I am praying for your well being now that carlos is technically your brother in law

oscarpiastri Thanks mate

please let me know if you liked this, i know it's been a while since i last posted! reqs are open!!

[astonmartinii]

ultimate wing man | daniel ricciardo social media au

pairing: daniel ricciardo x horner!reader y/n is notoriously single, and her dad decides to take it into his own hands.

masterlist

if you want to leave a tip x

yourusername

liked by christianhorner, danielricciardo and 603,561 others

yourusername: galentines was a must this year

view all comments

user1: this girl cute and rich how come no man has come in for her?

yourusername: i ask myself that everyday tbf i am a catch 🎣

user2: i need to be her friend asap

christianhorner: looking lovely darling as usual

yourusername: thank you papa

yourbff1: thank you for the champagne father horner

yourbff2: thank you for driving to london to pick us up at 2am father horner

yourbff3: sorry for throwing up in the porsche father horner

christianhorner: no worries girls, all will be forgiven if you convince y/n to go on the date i set up for her

yourusername: will you stopppppppp i just got out of a relationship ur not gonna be grandpa for a good fucking while

christianhorner: you can be the one to tell your mum that

yourusername: please your ego can't take being called grandpa

user4: so what i'm hearing is i need to be friends with y/n to get my nights out paid for by christian horner

user5: i know yall hate christian but his relationships with his kids kinda make me like him

user6: no i agree with you, it's super cute and you can't handle that he's just good at his job

maxverstappen1: oh i see, @danielricciardo why didn't we get our tabs covered?

danielricciardo: clearly aren't loved as much here :(

yourusername: i mean i'm his literal flesh and blood

maxverstappen1: but we make him money ???

yourusername: and i spend it?

danielricciardo: so we're funding the galentines benders?

yourusername: eh probably, i do have a job but i'd rather spend other people's money lol

user7: she's so real

user8: she is my professor of girl maths

christianhorner

liked by maxverstappen1, yourusername and 408,943 others

tagged: yourusername, maxverstappen1, danielricciardo

christianhorner: had to get the grill out for this bank holiday weekend with the family

view all comments

user10: christian referring to max and dan as family sergio i am so sorry

user11: the state of the seasoning makes me think that sergio dodged a bullet

yourusername: thank you papa but disappointed not to see you wearing the apron i got you for christmas

christianhorner: i'm sorry y/n but i'm not going to wear a "this chef wants to fuck toto wolff" apron at a family event

yourusername: shame, you wear daniel's merch all the time

danielricciardo: awwww christian i'm blushing

user12: i'm sorry christian horner owns a "this chef wants to fuck toto wolff" apron and we haven't seen it

user13: y/n horner you are a national treasure for real

maxverstappen1: woah who are those sexy guys in the last picture?

yourusername: the way i can't escape yall even at family events

maxverstappen1: not our fault ur dad loves us

danielricciardo: though there are definite perks

christianhorner: my cooking skills?

danielricciardo: sure...

user14: christian's obsession with daniel needs to be studied

yourusername: i think it's just a horner thing tbf

user15: HUH?

user16: i mean who isn't obsessed with daniel

liked by yourusername

user17: to be honest i would love for y/n and daniel to be a thing i am TIRED of constantly reading about how her latest bf has cheated on her

user18: for real that girl is in the trenches all the time she needs a good guy

yourusername

liked by danielricciardo, alexalbon and 650,450 others

yourusername: not really the dress for a pasta dinner but look at the material

view all comments

user22: miss ma'am i thought we were a no on the dating thing for a while

yourusername: i'm dumb i know but i have a good feeling about this one !!

user23: i think i've seen this film before

yourusername: have some faith my dad picked him so it's not my terrible taste

maxverstappen1: wait so you actually went on the date your dad set up for you?

yourusername: uh yeah when you have taste this bad you need intervention

maxverstappen1: you said it not me

yourusername: you said nothing every time i brought them to the garage

maxverstappen1: not to your face lol i was trying to be nice in front of your dad

yourusername: hmmmmmm well part of me thinks you guys won't have any complaints about this one

user23: i hate that i am so invested in this

alexalbon: so the date happened and lily and i still haven't gotten the debrief yet? i see how it is.

yourusername: bro i just got home and sat down give me some time

alexalbon: let me put the kettle on and then call us

yourusername: i can't promise i can tell you who it was just yet

lilymunhe: you're such a tease !!!

yourusername: gentleman don't kiss and tell

user24: walk with me: christian set this date up, christian loves daniel, daniel and the guy in the picture both have tattoos, daniel usually comments on all of y/n's posts but is silent on this one

user25: get a life (i believe you 100%).

danielricciardo

liked by christianhorner, yourusername and 1,209,667 others

tagged: yourusername

danielricciardo: enchante

view all comments

user26: WHAT IS GOING ON IN THE HOUSE OF COMMONS

user27: daniel really said fuck y/n's soft launch

maxverstappen1: YES the garage owe me $50

yourusername: you bet on who my date was?

maxverstappen1: well i bet even though it was the most obvious thing in the world who your dad would choose

yourusername: my dad has good taste?

user28: it's annoying me how cute this is

user29: i need it to be me next time

yourbff1: father horner can you matchmake for me next please, anyone on the grid will work

christianhorner: my days of being cupid are over unfortunately, pulling this off was way too stressful

user30: you telling me horner gets more stressed over setting his daughter up rather than whole ass races

yourusername: you're lucky you're sexy i had the whole soft launch planned out

danielricciardo: my sexiness has gotten me out of a lot in life

yourusername: it won't get you out of this family dinner though

danielricciardo: oh please your dad is only having dinner so he can see me

yourusername: unfortunately true, at least i love you as well now

danielricciardo: you always did, don't lie

yourusername: yeah but i don't want to inflate your ego any more

maxverstappen1

liked by charles_leclerc, yourusername and 803,459 others

tagged: yourusername, danielricciardo

maxverstappen1: someone save me from the constant torture of third wheeling

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user32: max is such a mood, i too become suicidal around any happy couple

yourusername: i don't remember you complaining when we literally made you dinner and hung out with you all night because you were "bored and lonely and wanted to annoy us"

maxverstappen1: *annoy my favourites

danielricciardo: we're well aware we're your favourites, we're the only ones who will tolerate you

maxverstappen1: well when you put it like that it makes me sad

yourusername: nooooo maxy we love you

user33: max using a meme of himself is peak max verstappen behaviour i can't lie

landonorris: wait so where was my invitation?

yourusername: this wasn't an invite only event it was me and daniel trying to have an evening in

maxverstappen1: but i thought you liked that i bought jimmy and sassy :(

yourusername: I LOVE THEM PLEASE HELP ME CONVINCE DANIEL TO GET A CAT

danielricciardo: i love you so much but we can barely feed ourselves and max so maybe we shouldn't be in charge of another living creature

yourusername: can we at least cat sit :(

danielricciardo: of course honey

user34: oh to be drinking wine on the couch with my boy friend daniel ricciardo

yourusername

liked by christianhorner, charles_leclerc and 780,563 others

tagged: danielricciardo

yourusername: thank you dad, you picked a good one x

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user35: i'm so jealous rn don't hit me up

danielricciardo: i think you picked THE ONE

yourusername: he's never going to shut up about this but i'll deal with it to be with you

danielricciardo: i'm blushing y/n

yourusername: i can make you do a lot more than blush

maxverstappen1: CHILDREN PRESENT

user36: this shit is like a straight up fairytale, christian should actually go into professional matchmaking

user37: girl yeah this match was made in heaven but we all know it's because christian LOVES daniel as well

user38: he's been gagging for daniel to be his son in law since like 2014

landonorris: thank god this happened, this man was PINING for so fucking long

danielricciardo: okay like no need to blast me

yourusername: omg you pined too, suddenly i'm not as much of a loser as i once thought

danielricciardo: you were never a loser babe

landonorris: maybe you were if you had a crush on him in 2014

danielricciardo: LANDO I WAS A CATCH IN 2014

yourusername: you've always been a catch babe don't worry

christianhorner: i know what i'm doing, i'm glad you're finally happy

yourusername: thank you dad xx

danielricciardo: thank you soon to be dad xx

user39: WHAT

danielricciardo

liked by christianhorner, maxverstappen1 and 1,304,766 others

tagged: yourusername

danielricciardo: i drove in your dad's wedding, but it'll be ours next

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user39: i think i heard christian's screams of joy all the way from the other side of the world

christianhorner: so happy for you two

danielricciardo: thank you so much for having faith in me

christianhorner: i know you'll treat her well and i know she'll treat you well, i'm excited to have you in the family

yourusername: awwww dad you're such a sap

maxverstappen1: do i need to marry into the family to still be invited to horner events?

christianhorner: no you're still invited max

yourusername: dad's golden boys will always have invites so you're safe max - bring seb to the next one too

user40: not all of the golden boys having championships other than daniel

danielricciardo: still ended up with the best prize in the end

yourusername: DANNY oh wow....

danielricciardo: not wrong though, i have no regrets because it all led to you

landonorris: @christianhorner i am painfully single please help

christianhorner: i'm not a miracle worker

yourusername: horners take no prisoners

note: pls enjoy this lil one, i did this as a palate cleanser before i get to p3 of into the arms of another and all the dragging that's about to come