#we're all gay and tired here
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theres people who only have one ship and people who don't have any ships and multishippers well im inventing a new kind of shipper and it's "all of these people are gay and a little in love with each other but the romance is up to interpretation"
#i have a killer headache rn so nothing I'm sayung makes any sense#anyways. I love to write characters all being a little gay and flirty and in love with each other#are you really friends if u aren't a little in love with em#this is about the gaang and also about the hexsquad#anyways romance is CRINGEEE#be in a weirdly codependent platonic relationship where we're incredibly devoted to each other to a probably unhealthy degree instead#allos will never understand 😔😔😔#you kids with your 'kissing' and your 'sex'#no one wants to get married for tax benefits and also because you're a little in love with your best friend anymore!#there's a complaint somwherre in here about people reducing deep platonic bonds to just romance because Just a friend wouldn't do that#but im tired and also not feeling bitter#anyways im trying to write fic again. but for some reason I can only write while I'm at work so ????#i have it all plotted. it just doesn't wanna write#lilac post
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trying to get kiki's characterization right (at the same time as navigating a falin who's gotten into a tense situation with people she doesn't know very well AND without the assistance of laios or marcille) is highkey kicking my ass ngl
#a little creature#i did just settle on a comedic icebreaker end to the conversation instead of going the full blown drama route bc i got tired#but now im wondering if that's a copout#like wouldn't falin react more strongly to this considering how i built it up???#but it's been like two months and im at 8-9k and im TIRED i want this chapter to be done#i can't think about it anymore. im settling on quirky joke and feelgood moment followed by quieter conversation later on#and if it seems like falin has a crush on kiki because of the way im describing her. so be it. i can't be bothered trying to control that#we're all gay here you know what you were signing up for.#also sorry i'll get around to answering asks and messages in a bit i just legit.#didn't realize how many days were passing. insomnia + time blindness hardcore got me these past few weeks
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actually american liberals can fuck all the way off with their "slur reclamation" bs. go to hell all of you.
#slurs will never be empowering#but to white people every slur is a new opportunity to be as quirky and annoying as possible#no i am not comfortable with a man calling me a bitch because he's gay stfu#no one can redeem a slur still in usage by the oppressors that created it#stop saying tr*nny#straight women stop saying d*ke#stop saying q*eer#no structural change but we're all supposed to pretend we're liberated#normie homophobes stop saying f*ggot#i am so tired of these disgusting words polluting every facet of lgb and leftist spaces#liberals#leftism#our rights are eroding everywhere but what is important here is that americans get to play a misogynistic stereotype of white women#from LA#“serving cunt” GROW A BRAINCELL LIKE JUST GROW ONE SINGLE BRAINCELL
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i think it's sad how little empathy kids tend to have these days. the other day, i was walking down a flight of stairs at my school when a random 11-year-old boy tapped my arm and asked "are you gay?". now, i thought he was saying "are you okay", and nodded (nothing wrong with being gay! i'm just not one to tell my sexuality to random kids who interrogate me). then, he began hollering the f-slur and yelling that everyone should get away from me. it's sad that literal children are so used to throwing around language like that and making jokes out of what is just plain hate speech. we're all human beings. i don't see why differences like that should matter.
#i know i sound really old here#but i'm just a tired 15 year old sick of the prejudice that follows every school environment#why is being gay an insult?#why is it considered funny when someone's race is targeted?#what does anyone have to gain from this?#where do we draw the line between banter and bullying?#it's been like this for years#and i'm sick of it#i don't understand how discrimination is almost always a prerequisite to popularity#don't people feel bad about saying things like that?#courtesy costs nothing#and yet i've encountered very few people my age who attempt to use manners at all#sorry about the rant there#i'm just tired of this being treated as normal#we're all people#we should treat each other as such#random#social commentary#i think?#i don't really know how to tag this tbh#discrimination#homophobia#school students#lqbtq#my friend came out as nb#and now everyone takes the mick out of them about it#what's the point?#it's just mean#people need to grow up#(or stop trying to be so mature)
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the most important thing abt noah coming out is that the people going 'hehe how does our fav strAIGHT frat boy play that fucking gayass so well??😱😱' had to stfu😁👍
#its annoying when people do it abt anyone tbh#that was so fucking irritating lmfaoooo#me omw to remind the masses of hets and chronically online 12yr old queers whove never met a gay person irl that we're not a monolith🤩#it doesnt escape my notice that yall say it more violently the second anyone so much as iMPLIES that they mighy not be straight#'speculating is bad' yes! but shockingly! yelling to the moon + back that them being not straight is impossible is not the best alternative#and perpetuates every dumbass stereotype#im so tired#also if you say hey maybe stop insisting theyre str8 for no reason every 5 seconds for a cheap joke abt the queer character they play#then everyone immediately is frothing at the mouth holding a chainsaw to ur throat#def not indirecting anyone w this😟#i dont even remember who it was but someone was always putting those stupid noah straightest man in the world jokes on my dash#n i just used to stare at them like holy shit u guys are gonna be shocked when u encounter gay ppl outside of the internet.#my tags ran away from me again#but i hope u guys Hear Me on this shit bc this happens w every celebrity ever#and then ppl turn around and pretend the problem was ppl thinking they might be queer#instead of ppl refusing to believe theyre anything other than straight#anyway.#am a little late to posting abt him i know😔 have been so ia here recently but i saw it when it happened and am vv proud of him#<33 just to get a little of track at the end here#but yeah hes lovely and i wish people who were insisting he was straight would understand him as an examole that gay ppl arent all the same#but they wont cos they immediately turn to going 'omgggg our fav slayqueen i always knew hehehehe he just looks so fruitsalad'#heed my warnings i am a conduit of rage and violence and one day im going to use it on those ppl#oh fuck this was so many tags i am an unrestrained tag menace#a tennis if you will#aha like the game#anyway#byler#(<- it isnt but this is where i was seeing 'Straight Frat Boy Noah could never be gay' posts so.)#(not most of you tho<333 just a few)#right im going back to reading this 700k word fic from another fandom when will i return to tumblr?? who knows. not me
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UPDATE What's up, it's the proposal guy. You said you wanted to know how this turned out, so I figured I'd tell you. First some context though, because I'm mean and I wanna keep you in suspense longer.
1- I don't wanna doxx us so I'm not telling you where we live, but suffice to say, neither of us are American, and gay marriage has been legal here for less than five years. For both of us, this is the first relationship we've had where marriage was even an OPTION, and I think that's where we've been getting some of that whole 'this has to be a REAL proposal with EVERYTHING' idea.
2- I gotta figure out how to explain this properly. So, I'm pretty used to being the GUY guy in relationships? I was always the one who did the nice gestures, not the one they got done for. Before I met my dream guy, I didn't really notice or care that it was such a thing, I just assumed that's how shit worked. Also, I promised I wouldn't talk a lot about his stuff here, but his last boyfriend before me SUCKED. Anyway point here is, it turns out we both REALLY like feeling swept off our feet sometimes, and a big part of finding each other has been getting to feel special for once? That's a stupid sappy way of putting it the point here is I think all that's what morphed into "I need to be the one getting proposed to, also it has to be completely perfect", and then our Petty & Extra genes got involved.
So I'm sitting in bed thinking about all that up there, and watching all the comments coming in basically being like "Dude, you are BLOWING this" on repeat, and telling me to compromise, and I look up and see him flossing in the bathroom and making all these doofy faces at the mirror, and it's like a switch just flips in my brain, and I'm like "Oh, I'd rather he gets to have his perfect proposal than we both have an okay one". I'm gonna do it.
Morning rolls around, and while I'm 'out for my jog like normal' I hit up a pawn shop for a temp ring (the ring pop thing is cute but NOT HIM). I found one I was at least confident wouldn't get ruined the first time he got his hands greasy (he fixes old machines as a hobby it's hot as hell), got back home, and hid the box in the toe of my nasty ass workout shoes in the bedroom closet, since I figured he'd check there last.
He was still asleep, because he stays up late no matter what and then is SHOCKED he's tired the next day, so I called and booked a table at our usual anniversary spot. (Side note about the 'he picks bad restaurants' thing. This isn't an 'I like Greek, you like Chinese' situation, dude's just BAD at finding places. He either assumes pricey is tasty and I get to eat some overrated gourmet bullshit, or he'll try and find something hip and underground and risk giving us food poisoning again, and he REFUSES to give up and pick somewhere we've been before when it's his turn to plan date night. I'm obsessed with him <3.) Date was set, I'd propose on the 21st.
Some of you might have noticed this, but fun fact! It's currently the 16th.
Last night I'm doing dishes and he's been sent to our room for mug collection duty, and he's taking FOREVER, so I go check just in case he found the ring, because the man's a gift tracking BLOODHOUND. Turns out he hasn't, he's found my Angry Box.
I assume other people have an Angry Box? Basically, we had this huge messy fight right when we first moved in together, and I never wanna let it get that bad again, so I have this shoebox where I keep a bunch of our stuff I can look at if we're fighting and hopefully cool off. There's one of those photo booth roll things, letters we wrote when he moved back with his parents for COVID, the wine cork from our first date, shit like that. Anyway, he's just sitting on the floor staring at it, and I explain about the Angry Box, and then he! Proposes!!! Kind of.
He definitely didn't have anything prepared, because by 'propose' I mean 'ugly cried & rambled at me for several minutes before I figured out it WAS a proposal', but once I got on the same page it was amazing. I said yes, and he had to admit he didn't have a ring for me because he was CONVINCED he'd win and I'd do it, so I grabbed mine because, yeah, he was right. He was like "this is the ugliest ring I've ever seen" and I was like yeah well the plan is to replace it later and he went "No. You can pry this off my cold dead fingers. After I'm buried with it." So I guess it's not a temporary ring anymore.
I'm just gonna go ahead and skip to this morning. I pointed out we still have the reservation, and he said I should propose there anyway because "We can get a free dessert. They have those creme brulee shot glasses you like. And for love, or something" and I said ok deal, but that means you gotta get me a ring to keep it fair, and his eyes LIT UP. When I swung by his work for lunch he was still on the phone with a jeweler and he had a whole page of notes on three other ones. Pray for me.
OH PS: I was RIGHT that he'd been the one behind the cat biting me, but it wasn't about the proposal stuff, it's because I paid my baby sister three dollars to shout 'fuck you' every single time he enters a room she's in for (if you ask me, he should be madder at my sister for charging so little), and he did it by giving her a bunch of treats for biting his hands too, so now neither of us can pet our baby girl without oven mitts on. HOLY SHIT I love this man.
Oh my goddddddd I love everything about this <333 I awwww'd out loud on a voice call, like, six times while reading. You two are friggin perfect for each other and so obviously smitten with each other and I wish y'all all the happiness in the world
PS Are y'all planning to have a big wedding? If so oh boy I can't WAIT to get that one in the inbox
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Post war/coma comic about Gai struggling with his recovery
Since tumblr hates long form comics, I have to split this into 2 bc its 36 images. This is the first part, part 2 i'll either do as a reblog or a separate post right after this, stay tuned! Links to support me in pinned post <3
tw: s*icidal thoughts, injury, a little blood
Bisuke: Gai's Back!
Gai: GRAAH!
Kks: Im home Gai: Welcome back Kks: [wheels rolling] Hey,
Kks: Ga-!? Gai: Im fine. The tile is cool on my face. Kks: Wanna go lay down in bed? Gai: I am so /sick/ of lying down. Kks: Ok. What do you want for supper?
Gai: You're not going to comment? Kks: I already know what happened. You overdid it again. I should be able to keep up with chores, kakashi. Kks: You can. Just don' bull through it all in one go. Do you want to end up in the hospital again? Gai: Please don't. Kks: I know sitting still is hard for you, and "too much" is in your DNA, but you have to take this slow so you don't exacerbate your injuries, Gai. You went from hyper-aware to pretending your body limits dont exist. Gai: Like you haven't done the same.
Gai: You've proved your point. Kks: It's not about that. And you've dragged me to bed and out of bed repeatedly when I needed it. You were burning alive from the inside. Tsunade told you your immune system is out of whack. You need to take it easy. /I/ know you're capable, but are you trying to prove to /yourself/ you are? Gai: You want me to admit my embarrassment? Kks: If something serioud happens, You'll be even more embarrassed then
Gai: How could you possibly know how I FEEL?! How could you EVER KNOW HOW I FEEL?! Kks: I DON'T! But I've /been/ the one ouking and sobbing on your bathroom floor because I couldn't take living anymore! And I don't want that for YOU!
Kks: I'm sorry, Gai. Gai: I'm sorry
Kks: I can't stand knowing you're in pain, and I can't get you help. If there was a way, I'd do anything. Gai: You do so much to help me already.... And I yelled at you Kks: I've screamed at you so much, that was pretty tame. I wish I was like you with things like this. Not great with what to say...... But I can listen.
Gai: I hate feeling so weak. I'm tired all the time, in constant pain, I can't even walk-..... I can tell tenten and the boys worry despite my efforts to appear positive. Kks: They're just not sure how to react. They know you hate being babied, but don't want to push you into hurting yourself. You hate being told you can't do something. They love you. You get stronger everyday, everyone is cheering you on.
Gai: I know it's irrational, but... I feel like you gave up the Hokage position to take care of me. Kks: Haa!? I'm grateful if anything. I'd be retired too if I could. That'd be amazing. I'm dreading just helping Tsunade but as long as you're by my side, I'll be fine. We're still equals, rivals, friends, partners
Gai: Even if I can't- Kks: /Always/ wil be, dickhead. Gai: You worry about me hurting myself? Kks: I know you think about it
Kks: We're the same in that regard Gai: I would never act on this, please believe me, these thoughts are rare........... Kks: It's ok, Gai. Gai: Sometimes I think i should have just died. I feel so out of place on the streets I used to feel so at home at. I never asked to live. I didn't plan to. I just don't know how to-...
Kks: I understand that. Though, dying didn't feel any better. Gai: I know I didn't fully pass like you did. I didn't see papa. Just for a moment, I wish I could have seen him.
Kks: As much as I'm sure he wants to see you again, It's too soon. Dai'd slap the shit out of you for wanting to waste your youth just to see him. Gai: [chuckle] probably. Kks: I have those thoughts less and less now, but they're still there. "why am I the one who survives?" "Burden" "Gai will come to his senses eventually"
Gai: FALSE!! None of my grief is with you! I love living here with you! My love for you only burns hotter each day! You're so lovely inside and out! Kks: Maa What did I do to deserve such praise from teh mouth of the hottest man in Konoha?? Gai: YOU STILL THINK I'M HOT?! Kks: YOU-! [CACKLE]
Kks: Your bad taste is the only reason I had a chance before someone snatched you up. Gai: The worst. Kks: Thought we'd irritate eachother, but it's been pretty smooth. Even though you still get played by the dogs. Gai: You really wanna throw those stones?
Gai: They play you just as easily. don't lie. Kks: My point is, whatever you need from me, you have it. No questions asked. Even if you yell and scream, i can take it. You held me together when I was unraveling, and I'll never forget it. Didn't trust anyone else to see me like that. Broken
Gai: I never saw you as that. Kks: I'll never see you as that
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the ii-confessionlings
I've been observing this growing population of ii related confession blogs, and it is truly fascinating. I love it. Here are all the ones I am aware of at the moment.
The Lovers:
@iiposblog - Positive confessions blog! YOU STARTED THIS
@ii-peak-confessions - Proton of the atom trio. Very positive.
@ii-joyous-confessions - Joy!!!!
The Haters:
@ii-evil-confessions - Electron of the atom trio. Very evil.
The Neutrals:
@ii-neutral-confessions - Neutron of the atom trio. Very neutral.
@ii-neu-confessions - Another neutral confession blog. /neu
@ii-neutral-poster - Not really a confession blog, but still makes the list. This is really getting out of hand /neu
@ii-nothing-confessions -
The Religious:
@ii-holy-confessions - Confessions of the holy variety.
@ii-satanic-confessions - Confessions that do not make that holy mark.
@ii-purgatory-confessions - We're not quite holy yet!
The NSFW:
@ii-freaky-confessions - NSFW. Not a joke blog.
@ii-downright-devious-confessions - NSFW. Joke blog.
The Character Specific:
@ii-apple-confessions - appel
@ii-nick-le-confessions - nick le???????????
@ii-zoetrope-spinning-confessions - every confession spins his head more.
@ii-mephone3gs-confessions - it's so good to see you!
@ii-meeple-confessions - all meeple stuff!
@ii-fan-confessions - fan
@ii-box-confessions - box
@cheesy-confessions - cheese
@ii-stevecobs-confesssions - i fucking hate this corn
@ii-trophy-confessions - tropy
@ii-tissues-confessions - tisue
@ii-mephonex-confessions - did you hear that?
@ii-mic-confessions - michael phone
@ii-lightbulb-confessions - log by bulb
@iipepperconfessions - pepre
Wait, This Isn't II:
@osc-plurals-confessions - General OSC confession blog related to plurality!
@ii-confessio-wait-wrong-show - bfdi.
@obscure-object-show-confessions - Obscure object shows!
@obscure-osc-confessions - If you want to send an ask to one of these blogs I want you to send it to both of them. it would be a really funny prank.
All About Emotions:
@iisadconfessions - i miss mepad. i miss him a lot
@ii-hungry-confessions - for when youre hungry and an ii fan!
@ii-confusing-confessions - In case you're perplexed, which i bet you are.
@ii-jolly-confessions - Christmas may be over but that hasn't stopped anyone before!
The Animals:
@ii-meow-confessions - who let a cat loose in the ii tag!!!!!!
@ii-woof-confessions - who let a dog loose in the ii tag!!!!!!
@ii-fish-confessions - blub blub
The Fandom Related:
@ii-ship-confessions - Ships! I know you guys have LOT to say on those. Maybe even too much!
@ii-crossover-confessions - tired of just ii? start mixing other stuff in with it!
@ii-darkfic-confessions - for confessions about the dark, gorey fics about characters getting murdered and the likes!
@ii-oc-and-fanfic-confessions - what if ii was your own thing? Get transformative!
@ii-headcanon-confessions - For the little bits we like to add on in our heads.
And all the others:
@iii-confessions - confessions about ii's most controversial season!
@ii-queer-confessions - gay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
@ii-gay-confessions - payjay more like payGAY. more like GAYGAY. gayjay
@ii-therapy-confessions - please
@ii-brainrot-confessions - lord almighty...
@ii-confession-confessions - confessions about the confession blogs. we're gonna need it after all this
@ii-silly-confessions - Get silly!
@ii-stupid-confessions - Get stupid!
@ii-dementia-confessions - ??????
the ii fandom is having a really normal time after that finale, huh.
Please tell me if I'm missing anyone! -🫒 (@knightobreath)
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We Care About You (Part III)
Those who have been with you since the beginning discuss the differences they've noticed with and without your presence.
Content Warning(s): Jean, Kaeya, & Albedo Story Quest Spoilers; Mondstadt Archon Quest Spoilers
Notes: SAGAU; GN!Reader; [T/N] = Traveler Name
Word Count: 2.1k
Previous || Next
Taglist: @silverstarred; @victoria1676; @angelofdarkness2; @areaderspov; @andromeda-gay; @ash1; @mercy-not-merci; @toodledoodl3;
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The sun had fully risen over the horizon by the time all the stores in Mondstadt's main plaza had opened for the day. Blanche was finishing setting up her fruit trays on the counter by the time Marjorie and Timeaus arrived at their respective stores. Sara, on the other hand, had already opened up Good Hunter half an hour ago. This was in case there were any early birds or if any of the aforementioned shopkeepers wanted a quick bite to eat before work.
Today, the Traveler and Paimon were examples of early birds, as the two were enjoying breakfast from Good Hunter. However, as they were eating their respective meals, they were approached by Raymond, a Knight of Favonius.
"Morning, Traveler. Morning, Paimon," he greeted. "Sorry to interrupt your meal, but I'm here to inform you that your presence has been requested by the Acting Grand Master. She requests that you head on over to headquarters immediately."
Paimon groaned. "Does Jean really have to summon us this early? Paimon hasn't even finished her Fisherman's Toast yet."
"I apologize once again, but it would be rude to keep the Acting Grand Master waiting," Raymond replied.
The Traveler shook their head. "No worries. I'm just about finished anyway." They got up from their seat. "Would you like for me to get you a to-go box, Paimon?
"Get a to-go box? Has Paimon not already proved to you what she's capable of? Watch this!" Paimon proclaimed before chowing down the rest of her Fisherman's Toast as quickly as Paimonly possible.
...Said way involved burying herself nose-deep in her plate and practically inhaling all the food left on her plate. The Traveler and Raymond even had to hold their hands up to their faces to protect themselves from any flying food.
Maybe they shouldn't have bought her a triple stack...
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Despite being invited by Jean herself, The Traveler decided to knock on her office door. It was only proper manners.
"Enter."
They opened the door and allowed Paimon to enter first before letting themselves in. As soon as Jean recognized them, she gracefully got up from her chair and walked around to the front of her desk.
"Thank you for coming on such short notice, Honorary Knight. I know you must be tired.”
The Traveler shook their head. "It was no trouble. Paimon and I were already up to begin with."
"Is that so? It's a shame my cuties didn't think to greet me in the library first thing in the morning. Your company can certainly revitalize this mage's energy." Came a voice to their left. Both newcomers swiveled their heads to look at the other visitor partially hidden in the corner.
"Lisa? Were you called here by Jean as well?" questioned Paimon.
"I was," Lisa confirmed, perplexion etched on her face, "Though I haven't been told why yet."
"I called you both here for the same reason. However, not everyone has arrived yet. We're still waiting on two more people. Once they’ve arrived, I’ll explain everything," Jean explained.
To pass the time, the Traveler, Paimon, and Lisa began to catch up with each other on what had happened since they last met while Jean leaned against her desk and peeked at the ticking clock on the wall from time to time.
She wasn't worried about the other two members being late. They each were fellow Knights of Favonius members after all. They know the standards that need to be set in order to maintain their position.
A few minutes later, everyone in the office could hear rapid footsteps from outside the room. Not even a second later the door was thrown open by Amber who quickly entered the room and put her hands on her knees to catch her breath.
pant ... pant ... "Sorry I'm late, Jean. I got caught up with something."
Jean shook her head. "Not to worry, Amber. We haven't started talking about anything yet." Jean snuck a peak behind Amber towards the open door. "Did you happen to see Kaeya on the way here?"
Amber straightened up and nodded her head. "I did, actually. He's..."
"Right here."
Kaeya smoothly walked into the office and quietly shut the door Amber left open behind him.
Jean gave a quick nod. "Good. That should be everybody." Everyone gathered around Jean in a semi-circle. "I bet you're all wondering why I've called you here this early."
"To put it simply, I'd rather get this discussion out of the way before we all start work for the day. This mainly concerns the Traveler, but I promise you all are important to this discussion as well."
Jean turned her attention to the Traveler. "First off, how are your adventures going?"
The Traveler looked at Jean in confusion. Jean called all of them here just to ask them about their adventures? "...Pretty well I guess. I've hit a few obstacles here and there but it was nothing I couldn't handle."
Jean nodded. "That's good to hear. And what about this latest obstacle you're facing?"
Now it was Paimon's turn to be confused. "Latest obstacle...?" she murmured, "Oh! Do you mean [Y/N]?"
Amber, Lisa, and Kaeya all widened their eyes in surprise as they looked at Paimon. Jean nodded once again.
"Yes. That's exactly the reason why I've called you all here. Although I may not know much about [Y/N], I understand that you all have had some experience with them. If you could tell me all that you know about them, I'll get a better understanding of what our next action should be."
The Traveler nodded in understanding before looking around at the others. "Should I go first, or do you all want to share your thoughts now?"
Amber was the first to reply. "Sure! I'll go first. In my opinion, the Traveler and [Y/N] are the same person, but also different people. When I first met the Traveler outside of the Whispering Woods, they introduced themselves as [Y/N]. However, once we dealt with the sources of Stormterror's power in the abandoned Four Winds' Temples, they seemed much livelier. That was when they explained that they were actually [T/N], and [Y/N] was this 'ghost or entity-like thing' that possessed them against their will.
Lisa nodded. "It's true. When we were traversing through the last temple, I felt as if my body was not under my control, but I was still conscious to witness what I was doing. It was scary at first, but after a while, I kind of got used to it."
Jean raised a skeptical brow. "And why is that?"
"Because [Y/N] and I were trying to achieve the same thing. They guided me through the temple, defeated all of the enemies, and destroyed Stormterror's crystal, all things that I originally intended to do myself."
Jean brought a hand to her chin. "Interesting..."
Kaeya raised his hand, signaling to speak next. "It's not just that, either. Later on when I had the Traveler lure some Treasure Hoarders to some ruins, one of them accidentally activated a Ruin Guard while attempting to flee. We managed to take it down, of course, while being guided by [Y/N], but I noticed that I had gotten stronger in between fighting the treasure hoarders outside the ruins and fighting the Ruin Guard. We defeated the Ruin Guard a lot quicker than I thought we would."
Jean furrowed her brows. "But Ruin Guards are a lot harder to defeat than mere Treasure Hoarders. Surely you must be exaggerating?"
Kaeya chuckled. "I can assure you, Jean. The strength I gained when guided by [Y/N] is no exaggeration. Surely you must've felt their presence yourself?"
"Outside of the day when I got burnout, no. But even then, I didn't exactly feel I was much stronger."
"Oh!" Amber blurted out. "Speaking of getting stronger, I've noticed that [Y/N] has improved some of my abilities as well! For example, the day before we pulled that whole sleeping stunt on [Y/N], we were helping them complete some commissions around Mondstadt. While we were completing them, I noticed that I could suddenly fire two arrows with one shot! Not only that, but I was able to manually detonate my Baron Bunny by shooting at it!"
Amber frowned. “The only downside is that I haven't had much success replicating these abilities when I'm not with [Y/N].”
"So you've noticed as well?" Lisa asked. "I thought I was the only one to notice." She turned her attention back to Jean. "You see, [Y/N] typically has me defeat hydro slimes whenever they appear, and with them I'm normally able to defeat them in one or two hits. However, I wanted to test a theory I've been thinking about recently. So I went to go find a hydro slime and see how many hits it took to defeat it. Just as I thought, it took nearly double the number of hits before it was beaten."
"I see. And is this something that we should look into?"
"No. I just thought it was something worth mentioning."
"Alright then. And when [Y/N] does guide you, is it only to complete commissions?" Jean inquired.
"Oh no!" Amber eyes sparkled. "We've been helping the Honorary Knight and [Y/N] all across Teyvat! It's amazing!"
Jean smiled. "Then you all must be enjoying your adventures, I presume?"
"But of course!" exclaimed Amber. "I've always wanted to see the world beyond Mondstadt and it's just as grand as I imagined."
"That's good to hear." Jean then looked down at the floor and sighed. "...Honestly, there are times when I wish I could throw my work to the side and travel alongside you, Honorary Knight."
"Paimon is certain that [Y/N] would love to have you join their Adventure Team! If it becomes possible, Paimon will put in a good word for you."
Jean chuckled. "Thanks, Paimon." She turned her attention to the Traveler. "And what about you? What do you know about [Y/N]?"
"It's a pretty long story. The first time I ever got a clue as to who [Y/N] was was when I was in the middle of helping Albedo with his research. During the middle of some experiments, I felt their presence leaving. However, almost immediately after they left I saw a bright light in the sky. It only lasted for a few seconds, but when the light went away, I saw that it had come from Celestia!"
Jean looked shocked for a moment but quickly composed herself. She had an image to maintain after all. "Really?! From Celestia?"
"Yes. Albedo saw it as well and it piqued his curiosity. To make a long story short, he found out that for a brief moment, the light that spawns from Celestia forms as if one is opening a door to an unlit room. He hypothesizes that whoever [Y/N] is, they are not from Celestia but somewhere beyond it. Maybe even another world entirely."
Kaeya smirked. "From another world, eh? So does that mean [Y/N] is an alien?"
The Traveler shook their head. "I don't think so. Most of the worlds I traveled to before Teyvat were inhabited by humans. I would assume that if [Y/N] is from another world, they would be human as well.
"How certain are you?" inquired Jean.
"I'm like 90% certain they're human," the Traveler confirmed. Amber hummed in thought.
"Do you think they might be a god?"
“A god whose eyes are focused on a world separate from theirs? Sounds unlikely to me,” countered Lisa.
"Regardless..." Jean interjected. "[Y/N] has been absent for a while now, correct?" The Traveler nodded. "Have you thought about continuing your journey without them should they not come back?"
"I've had the thought. But I'm willing to wait however long is necessary if it means I get to see them again."
Jean put a hand to her chin. "Are you sure? I would gladly be willing to have Amber, Lisa, or Kaeya travel with you for the foreseeable future."
Paimon nodded. "It's been almost a week since that incident, and yet Paimon has never seen the Traveler lose any determination at all!"
Jean nodded as well. "I see. In that case, I believe that is all I have to say for this discussion. It was nice meeting you once again, Honorary Knight."
"The same goes for you, Jean.”
Everyone exchanged goodbyes with each other and, minus Jean, prepared to leave the office. However, just before they left...
"Hey. Is it just me, or is it getting brighter outside?"
Kaeya looked towards Amber. "I'm sure it's just the clouds moving past the sun."
Amber shook her head, keeping her gaze towards the window. "No... I didn't see any clouds when I first came in..."
The room was silent. Some looked to the window while others kept their attention on Amber.
Suddenly, Paimon gasped.
"Paimon!" The Traveler shouted in surprise. "What's wrong? What happened?"
"...They're back..." she whispered.
The Traveler tilted their head. "Who's back?"
Paimon was too stunned to speak, but it didn't take long for the Traveler to figure out why. Their eyes grew wide in shock.
"[Y/N]!!" They suddenly exclaimed as they bolted past everyone. Everyone quickly followed the Traveler outside.
Once they all gathered outside. They quickly turned their gaze towards Celestia. Just as they thought, a light, though less noticeable during the day, was slowly getting brighter.
"Sorry, Jean! We've got to go! Don't wanna be late!" Paimon quickly said before everyone aside from Jean was teleported away.
---------------------------------------------------------
"It sure is taking a long time to check for updates," you thought.
After countless research, note-taking, and several anxiety breakdowns, you were finally ready to hop back onto Genshin and meet up with the people who you now realize are alive and sentient.
"I hope all this makes a good impression on them."
The door appeared.
With one click, you would be back to where this trouble all started…
Breathe in… Breathe out…
click
The door opened.
---------------------------------------------------------
Author Side Notes: I looked at my fanfiction and decided that it needed LORE™
Once again, I'll be editing this chapter over the next upcoming days. I sort of prefer it as opposed to keeping this in my drafts. I don't want you all waiting for the next part too long!
#genshin impact sagau#genshin sagau#self aware genshin#genshin self aware#sagau x reader#sagau#sagau genshin#platonic genshin x reader#platonic#gn reader#gender neutral reader#genshin impact
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AU where Edwin knows he's gay from the start would be fire me thinks.
Imagine if he thinks he deserved Hell but still wants to escape and feel so wrong and selfish for it. So he never tells Charles what actually happened between 1916-1989, Charles only knows whatever happened was very bad no good. Edwin would be horribly, painfully aware that he was falling for Charles. But that's wrong, isn't it? Boys can't like boys.
So he tries so hard to ignore it, tamp it down. He can't let Charles know. If he knows then he'll know why he's avoiding the afterlife, that he deserves to go to Hell.
Charles knows Edwin is scared of Death and the afterlife, he assumes that something happened from 1916-1989 that convinced Edwin he was damned but there's just no damn way someone as good as Edwin deserves Hell. But, selfishly, he never tries to convince Edwin to go. To leave for his beautiful afterlife.
Then Port Townsend happens.
Crystal is no idiot, she can tell Edwin's jealous from the start. She can tell Charles thinks it's because they're best friends, she can tell it's because Edwin's in love. That doesn't stop her though, she deserves one good thing after everything, doesn't she?
(I think Cat King would go very similar to canon, but it's less of "I'm not gay" and more of "I know what I am but these urges aren't okay".)
Niko loves love, she can tell Edwin loves Charles. She can tell Edwin doesn't know it's okay. Niko helps him through it, becomes his confidant, the first person he confesses everything to. I think they would have a huge conversation that ends in them both crying -- Edwin bemoaning his unrequited love, Niko mourning for him -- and cuddled up watching Scooby-Doo. (The sprites get teary eyed too but still mock them, Niko calls them out and they deny it. "It's dusty as shit in this old ass glass!" "Yeah, we're getting fucking pick eye in here!" "When's the last time you even washed this shit-ass jar?")
It all comes to a head with the Night Nurse. We all know her spiel, "I'm taking Edwin back to Hell and Charles to get processed." But Charles doesn't know Edwin's been processed. Charles doesn't know Edwin's assigned to Hell.
Niko is empathetic, not forcing Edwin to explain but not once thinking he did anything to deserve it. Crystal is up in arms, demanding to know what he did to deserve Hell, demanding to know why he hid it from Charles. Charles is confused, conflicted. Edwin's his best mate! There's no way he deserves Hell! But... but why didn't he tell Charles? Edwin is overwhelmed and panicked and no, no, no! Charles was never supposed to know!
Now, listen. Niko isn't one for confrontation, she doesn't like to fight. But hearing Crystal rip into an unresponsive Edwin while Charles lingers unsure on the back has her heart breaking, has her head hurting. So she steps in, shouts at them to stop, that they'll talk tomorrow when they've cooled off. And drags Edwin off to her room for the night. She doesn't demand answers and he doesn't give them.
The next day, everyone's off. The tension is high and only building. Crystal keeps sending Edwin pointed comments and Edwin is actively ignoring her existence. Charles is conflicted, caught between Crystal and Edwin; taking both their sides without taking either. And Niko doesn't know how to soothe any of it, so she sticks close to Edwin.
Eventually the four are leaving the graveyard, Crystal and Charles arguing when she rounds on Edwin. "And you! Don't think I forgot about you!" Niko tries to step in and stop it like she did last time but Edwin's tired, he's had enough, he breaks. "I was sacrificed! I was sacrificed and spent seventy-three gruelling years fighting to escape! There, happy? Might we please move on now?"
He storms past them all and for the first time since this dispute started, Niko is angry. She tells Crystal that wasn't okay, that it was cruel. And takes off after Edwin, leaving Charles and Crystal standing uselessly.
"I didn't know..." Neither remember who said that.
#tetris belies it’s wisdom upon thee#dbda#dead boy detectives#edwin payne#charles rowland#crystal palace surname von hoverkraft#niko sasaki#night nurse#cat king#no resolution for you😌😌#btw i love Crystal#but part of her character arc was her selfishness#she also pushes way too hard sometimes#this is not a safe space for Crystal haters and this is not Craytal bashing
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................................................
"woah would you look at that, deku just took out that guy with a single punch!"
"he's so amazing!~"
"you're my hero!!!"
So many people chant, root, and holler for even the slightest glimpse of his attention, even a glance.
"Mr deku, what can you tell us about this villain, you hadn't even put up much of a hassle and yet he appears to be tired!" One report gleams.
It's true. He hadn't done too much, one simple practically, light punch and the criminal was already down, he knew that. Deku knew he was good, he knew others thought he was good. He thrived on that kind of energy.
"oh~, well you know, I'm not one to brag nor bring other people down, criminal or not we're all human." He sings to the reporter, hinting at the fact she gave the measly little lowlife schmuck at best, a promotion to 'villian'. cameras flashing everywhere as he heard a bunch of girlish screams, everyone looks over to see a bunch of fan girls rallying to get an autograph.
Dammit.
Izuku tried so hard not to let his smile faulter, its not that he disliked his fans, really he could never, he knows one of the reasons he's here is because of his fans, and he loves them all equally no matter what. However. scrolling on the Internet, especially as a pro hero it's hard not to go down a loophole of your own fans. Izukus fans are nice, sure. But they're also bat shit crazy.
Doxxing people for disagreeing, assuming he was gay for his best friend dynamite, writing fanfiction about him and his best friend dynamite, assuming he had a new significant other because he changed up his style of clothing??
Really his fans are too much, he loves them, he does. But they are just so...smothering?
As he sees the fans hurrying toward him he tries his hardest to jump away as he was stopped by a little deaf girl who wanted an autograph.
Shit. You can't NOT give a little deaf girl an autograph it'd be bad publicity. he sighs deeply in defeat, knowing how easily persuaded he is, he'll most likely be there standing, on his feet, smiling wide and big for fans, for the next hour and a half.
Izuku sighed deeply through his nose as he finally, after 5 more hours of working, made it back to his bed, that's all he wanted. He didn't bother taking his suit off just simply jumping in his bed and groaning at the comfort he longed for.
He grabbed his phone and opened Twitter.. that was the first mistake of the night, he scrolled through his feed coming across a post of a girl just rambling about her ever lasting love for deku.
He shifted in his bed so now he was laying back on his pillows, turning up the sound to hear your beautifully slurred voice.
"- like bro.. I don't think any of you understand how my NEED for this man is like just.. sigh. I'm about to go crazy bro. If I were given the chance I'd do unholy. Unspeakable. Down right horrendous things to this man, i- aHaAVE YOU SEEN HIS NEW HERO SUIT??" You were talking to your friend who had the idea to start recording you while you were drunk, laughing and snorting at you.
The video was posted by you, the caption read; 'my friend started recording while i was drunk and i randomly went on a rant ab my love for the #1 hero 💀'
He snickered at this, genuinely finding it funny, but sooner or later it registered in his brain what you'd said..you'd do what to him.
Before he knew it he was semi hard, he looked down at his slight hard on confused, there is no way this turned him on?? He had been sent so many videos of his fan girls from all ages going down on a dildo with his name slapped on it, he never found it the least but attractive, just kind of desperate..
He watched the video again, his cock becoming fully erect as he sighed at the uncomfortable feeling of his now leaking, completely hard cock, rubbing against his suit pants.
It had been a while since he'd done something like this.. since he had used someone..he needed this, just to relax. Just a couple of strokes to get him to come, that's all.
He let out a shaky sigh, slowly trailing his thick fingers up and down his clothed cock, earning a light squeak to rip from his throat due to the slight pleasure he felt from the gentle actions.
He knew he needed it, he needed this so badly, but he wouldn't rush it. He hated when he rushed things, he says 'they never get done correctly'.
So he would be patient with himself, gently palming himself over his suit pants, letting breathy sighs leave his slightly dried and chapped lips.
He looked over to his phone to see the paused video...
'oh what the hell.' he thought to himself as he grabbed the phone, angling and holding it close to his ear to hear your voice and the loud laughs that he hopefully tried to blur out of his mind. Focusing on your voice fully.
He held the phone close to his ear closing his eyes listening to your slurred speech, and the hiccups and giggles that left your mouth, he bit his lip as his palming motions began to get harder and more rough, "I would do down right horrendous things to this man." That line stuck with him, that's what made him undo his pants and shimmy them off so he could fully touch his leaking, crying cock.
He groaned in embarrassment and disgust in himself at the sight of his already soaked boxers, why did his cock have to be so leaky!!
He whimpered at the sight, pulling his boxers down just enough to have his cock hit against himself. He wrapped two fingers around his cock and rolled his eyes back, biting his lip to sustain the sound that wanted to come out. He stroked himself slowly, letting the precum on his tip continue to drip down his thick cock.
He had listened to the audio all over again this time fixating on the part where you'd talked about his suit. He had changed up his suit a couple of times, never really straying away from the original concept he had in highschool, the green was always there to stay, and he always liked the fact his suit was more of a jumpsuit kind of thing, but changing it over the years, he went with a tighter fabric for his new and improved suit, removing the bunny ears at the back, and adding a white cape, replacing his huge bulky gloves with just as thick, smaller and well fitted ones, the white the painted his suit was now black.
He hadn't done much to his suit really.
But you and so many others thought it was the sexiest thing in the world.
He loved that, that you loved his suit, he whimpered in a pitchy octave, eyes crossing as he shut them, breaths becoming uneven as he wraps his whole hand around his aching, dripping, cock. It yearned for release, he needed it, it hurt so bad but felt so good he couldn't stop, he was sooo close!
So so close, and yet.. not close enough to get him there. He abandoned all self respect and hope for 'not rushing things' he needed to come and the only way he could is if he really touched himself.
He ripped off the top of his hero suit before rummaging in his bedside drawer to grab a Fleshlight, it was a lot more advanced than your normal average pussy shaped fleshie, it had handle and so many different modes!!! It vibrated and wiggled and had a squirt thingy that shot lube inside to make his cock slippery, not that he'd need it, his cock is like a water fountain with so much cum to give.
He turned it onto its highest setting before settling his twitching cock, dribbling with precum, inside of it.
He couldn't contain the line of moans that ripped out of him, he wanted to really he did, he wanted to keep quiet for his neighbors but he just couldn't, he felt so fucking good, he'd felt that he'd never been this hot or bothered before especially not because of some measly audio that wasn't in any way remotely sexual, and yet he was so close to cumming because of it. This video. This person. You.
You were so close to making him cum.. he was right there bucking his hips up into the contraption, shaking, whilst his whole body spasmed as he threw his head back, sweat dripping from his tired and spent body, he groaned and moaned so loudly it was so lewd, he was so lewd. He couldn't believe what he was doing, he felt so dirty, but in this very moment, he couldn't care. He was so drunk off of the immense amount of pleasure he was receiving that all he wanted, needed, was to cum.
And when he finally released with a high pitched moan, globs of tears leaving his rolled eyes, there was so much, ropes of his white, hot, thick cum squirting inside of the toy. It was still vibrating against his softening cock, it made him so overstimulated yet he couldn't move, his orgasm was so strong he didn't have the energy to take his cock out. He just sat there, holding onto the toy that continuously vibrated and massaged his limp, thick, crying cock, crying, sniffing, and whimpering.
Hell he'd probably already came again without even knowing it, his orgasms had gone on for a while, he still couldn't move, just blissfully laying against his bed, covered in sweat and tears streaming down his reddened freckled face.
As he regained his composure, the overstimulation was more than enough, he hiccuped, wiping his face from the tears and sweat that covered it, as he turned off the toy and tossed it off of his bed, he was half naked, hot, and hungry.
He groaned as he draped one of his arms over his face, feeling the sweat and tears cover his forearm, as he heard the video that had been playing over and over again on repeat. His eyes shot wide open as he scurried to grab his phone. he looked at the video in disgust. Had he really just gone to a new low, and came to this stupid video of a dumb drunk girl complimenting him??
His post nut clarity was always bad, especially because he did some pretty down bad, disgusting, sinful things. But this? Yeah he deserved to suffer for all eternity.
He groaned placing his phone under his pillow as he buried his face in said pillow, squeezing his eyes shut at how hard he'd came, his cock still filthy and sticky with his thick ooey gooey cum, now dirtying his bed.
................................................
AN: he hates himself for how much and how hard he came, he really does.
I'm making a pt 2🤭
#deku smut#deku x reader#izuku is so girlie pop#izuku x reader#boku no hero academia#mha#mha x reader#cvnts-post
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my favourite things that reneé rapp has said
(in no particular order)
• "but also, like, yes, it was fun, but it was just silly, like, we made, like, a musical of a movie that was already a musical based off of a movie, like... like, we're not out here curing cancer, we're just having fun"
• "moana"
• "i would hit on me"
• "mommy. i love her, i love you, mommy... yeah... in a respectful way"
• "ADHD! ADHD!"
• "there's a dress code... okay, and i didn't wanna adhere... to the fucking dress code... because i don't wanna wear a collared shirt if i'm told to"
• "i'm reneé rapp and i'm ruining my own life"
• "serious question... serious fucking question... do you- do you ever just kinda like look at your nipp- like, feel- like, feel your nipple... and you're just like... you're so cute!"
• "it is with a... heavy heart that i announce that this ass is in fact... still fat"
• "also, disclaimer, screw your diet culture, i'm enjoying my time with my fridge, thank you"
• "actually best ass i've ever seen in my life"
• "men should die🤗"
• "i should be sedated from time to time"
• "i feel... um... fucked"
• "today, i'm not thriving, i'm surviving, but maybe tomorrow... we'll be thriving?"
• "there's a baby... there's a baby, there's a baby, there's a baby... i'm gonna steal it"
• "i love margot robbie, so that movie is gay to me... in a way... cuz she's so cute in that movie... ah!"
• "there's no real way to, like, act or, like, look queer or gay, however, i was acting and looking gay"
• "i mean, i'd like to say thank you to all of my exes, like, i've profited heavily off of that and i really appreciate it... and a huge thank you to every man that helped made me realise that i was a lesbian"
• "harry... come out"
• "'can i be your next chair' what does that mean? ..... 😳"
• "jokes on you, skank, i don't run, it hurts my fucking knees"
• "mommy's tired, like... take mommy home"
• "um, delusion?"
• "any notes for her? ... date me?"
• "because i was like, motherfucker, one thing you're not gonna do is take away my pride"
• "yeah, a lot of people were, um, upset... and i... enjoyed it"
• "if the shoe fits... lace that bitch up and... run"
• "be mad. go home. touch grass. play in traffic."
• "leave him. quickly. with a swiftness"
• "just for a little clarification, i didn't bring that bag of apples... it was just there"
• "one could yap and one could strap"
reblog with your favourites !!
#renee rapp#mean girls#regina george#lesbian#lgbtq#mean girls 2024#mean girls on broadway#slocg#tslocg#sex lives of college girls#the sex lives of college girls#leighton murray#reneé rapp
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i love you so much i love the way u talk abt trans men and our struggles i makes me feel so seen especially bc youre older than me, i want to be understood , keep posting please
THANK YOU !!
i appreciate that. i feel like nobody (aside from some very cool bloggers on here) is advocating for trans men anymore. like unless its a trans man talking about these issues, it just doesn't happen. nobody advocates on our behalf for the most part. everyone just leaves us to the weeds. we have to help each other because most people just don't even understand what trans men and mascs want. like it's absolutely positively insanity inducing
when i was in college, at my pride group, there were just. no conversations about trans men. at all. in fact. at the time i was beginning to realize i was a trans man but i couldn't find support or acknowledgement of transmasculinity anywhere. whenever i would participate in the conferences, and large group meetings for LGBTQ communities in our part of the country... I was forced into queer women's groups. i did not identify as a woman or bigender at that time. i asked them where a female-to-male genderqueer person should go, and they put me in every queer women's group. i was not being considered trans. i was being viewed as a cis butch lesbian.
i was fucking pissed.
i learned the word transgender and what it meant and the example that was given was male to female, which was informative. i heard a lot of things about feminine transition, drag queens, cis gay male culture, bisexuality, pansexuality, and even asexuality. i want you to know that my college's pride group in 2011 - 2012 was more accepting of asexual people than trans men, which is insane for that time frame. i was actually allowed to help with a presentation on asexuality
i had to go online and research trans men, though. there were none to be found in the group that were at least out and able to talk to each other. we were all very stealth and nervous. my long term friends there ended up being gay men, lesbians, and a transfem agender person. i never met a single trans man there. it was heartbreaking.
i am tired of participating in transmasculine silence. i will not participate in self-erasure. trans men are trans. we're men. we're mascs. we NEED support, community, and care. we need to learn how to access transition resources, to comfort each other, to laugh with each other, to help each other find what clothes make us feel like ourselves, to say each other's names and pronouns, to see one's self in the other.
we need people who will protect us from misgendering. we need to be able to talk about our unique issues. we need to be able to talk about how yes, we experience misogyny, but also that transandrophobia is literally a thing. we need people who will stand up for femme trans men and gay trans men. we need people who understand that it's not okay to call every single trans man a confused butch lesbian and assume that they're a queer cis woman. trans men can be butch lesbians and that's okay. but you can't rip away a trans man's manhood for the sake of being a catty asshole. it's misgendering. it's transphobia. care about being transphobic. transphobia hurts all trans people no matter where it's directed. we all lose when you opt to deny trans men and mascs the right to community.
i am transmasculine. i am a trans man. i love being a trans man. i'm not ashamed. i'm not going back in the closet. i love my transmasculine brothers and siblings. i will not silence them. silencing them is a disservice to us all. i refuse to do that to us.
thank you for sending this ask. stay safe, take care of yourself, you're an important part of the LGBTQ community, don't let anyone take that from you.
#asks#answers#transmasculine#trans man#trans men#trans guy#trans boy#ftm#tboy#transgender#trans#genderqueer#genderfluid#nonbinary#non binary#demiboy#boyflux#boyfluid#gay ftm#transmasc#about us#our writing
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shameless fic recs from 2024
some of my favourite fics that were posted and/or updated in 2024!
part two part three
aka i went through all my shameless bookmarks of 2024 bc this fandom is fucking talented
All I Wanna Do by @ms-moonlight-inn @notherenewjersey
The Brat Tamer, Shameless Spanktember by @rayrayor
Out of Nowhere by @suzy-queued
Bareback by thereyoflight
soft and sharp (deep breaths, baby) by GrandSelfMythology @darlingian
Proud (Outro). by @twinklyylights
Breedin’ You by @callivich @gallawitchxx
climbing light by @catgrassplantdad
they never showed you love by @sam-loves-seb
Double Bullseye by @whatthebodygraspsnot
Footprints In The Snow by ShootingStars17
i'll find a new place to be from by @mmmichyyy
span the distance (bridge the border) by @sam-loves-seb
A Lot by @mybrainismelted
7 Minutes in Heaven by @crossmydna
Lipstick by leinthalexandra
here in the future the present still aches by KittyPhoenix12_xx
The Reason to Exist by @lingy910y
Among My Stillness Was a Pounding Heart by @ifallonblackdays
sticks and stones by holymurdock
Mickey The Unfriendly Ghost by TRaena
Mystery of Artist Mickey Milkovich by @em-harlsnow
Scary Sweet by @suzy-queued @francesrose3
Where the Gay Wieners Go by @spacerockwriting
Weed Dreams are made of this by @jrooc @mybrainismelted
A Mother's Love: A Magical Secret by @sweetbee78
Save a Horse, Ride a Gallagher by @bawlbrayker
Last Night at the Verona Grand Hotel by @the-rat-wins
C.O.C.O.N.U.T by @bawlbrayker
Suncatcher by @wehangout
Once Upon a Tire Iron by @arrowflier
if you hold my hand (and take me where you go). by @creepkinginc
Headphones Encouraged by @whatthebodygraspsnot
Re-boyfriending by @ms-moonlight-inn
Breathing Underwater by @blue-disco-lights
Tonight Belongs to Me by @solitarycreaturestheyrycreaturesthey
Heat of the moment by whatyouandihave
Learning to Fly by Miss_SnowWhitePink
Swimmin' in my mind (Siena dream) by @energievie
Getting to Know You by princess_sarah
Both Sides Now by @sgtmickeyslaughter
Anger Management by @transmurderbug
Floor 34 by @roryonic
first times by sluttygallavich (ms_gallavich)
In My Veins Like Lightning by @jrooc
something so wretched about this by @onthepyre
The Cleaner by @notherenewjersey
you're all talk by @em-harlsnow
motherhood and what comes of it by @em-harlsnow
If You Can Find a Reason (a Reason to Stay) by Mak0_o
you should get a best friend too by biblionerd07
say don’t go by @thepupperino
fruit by @darlingian
Tired Boys by marie_right
a sun kissed love by buddiexgallavich
dial drunk by @thepupperino
i'm nineteen and i'm on fire by @m4ndysk4nkovich
he’s not the one by flcwerchild
you got me hooked up on the feeling. by sunsetsomewhere
just can't take that bitch nowhere by biblionerd07
Father Of the Groom by @roryonic
Hey, How's it Goin'? by @wehangout
Ian Fucking Gallagher (or How Mickey Got His Groove Back) by nozenfordaddy (fenna_girl)
The Prison Chick by @wehangout
Glitter Hearts by Its_Levioooosaa
The Last Straw by TomarryIsLifeee
Quickie. by tsuukit
Fucking condoms, man by Lfleio
you could absolutely break my heart. (that's how i know that we're in love.) by @darlingian
The Cabin Across The Lake by @catgrassplantdad @whatthebodygraspsnot @gallawitchxx @heymrspatel
Low & Slow by @nymacron
Touch/Starved by @crossmydna
i'm not the way i was by @sam-loves-seb
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Since my last one did so well, here’s more TF2 incorrect quotes!!
Scout, on the phone with Pauling: So no head?
Scout: *Throws phone and breaks skateboard*
Scout on Monday: *glues a dime to the sidewalk* Heh heh heh.
Scout on Wednesday: *walking down the street* Ooh hey! A dime!
Heavy, gently nudging Medic aside with his foot: Herbie, move out of way so Heavy doesn’t don’t trip on you.
Medic, his eyes enormous: You kick Doctor? You kick his body like the football? Oh! Oh! Jail for Misha! Jail for Misha for one thousand years!
Spy: New year, same me. Because I'm perfect.
Demoman & Soldier in the back of Sniper's car: MCDONALDS! MCDONALDS! MCDONALDS!
Spy: We have food at home.
Sniper: *pulls into the McDonald's drivethrough*
Demoman & Soldier: YAYYYYYY!
Sniper: *orders one black coffee and leaves*
Pyro, behind their mask: Well, needless to say. Uh-oh Spaghetti-os.
Heavy: Do you want to know your gay name?
Medic: My... my gay name?
Heavy: да. It is Doktor first name-
Medic: Haha. Very funny Misha-
Heavy: *gets down on one knee* And Heavy last name.
Medic: Oh- oh mein gott.
Pyro: Gender? Ha, yeah. I totally have one of those, definitely. There's some sort of gender around here, gimmie a second.
Pyro, throwing dirty laundry around: Shit. I know it was here... I saw it yesterday!
Pyro, crawling around on the floor, looking under things: Ugh... Sorry, gimmie a sec... I swear, I had it just the other day...
Engineer : Do you have any idea what you’re doing?
Soldier: Why start now?!
Sniper: Do you love me?
Spy: So much. Why?
Sniper: Just checking. It seems like you want me to die.
Spy: Where did you get that tomato soup?
Soldier: It’s actually a bowl of ketchup I just microwaved!
Demoman: I am 39 cheetos tall.
Medic: Why... are you measuring your height in cheetos?
Demoman: Because we're out of doritos.
Scout: Spy doesn’t look very happy.
Sniper: That's his happy. He’s just a bitch.
Medic: Christmas lights?
Sniper: Check.
Pyro: Thermos of hot cocoa?
Sniper: Check.
Scout: Santa suits?
Sniper: Check.
Engineer: Shovel?
Sniper: Check.
Spy: Alibi and bail money?
Sniper: Check- wait, WHAT?!
*The team’s reaction to being told they're the chosen one*
Soldier: I will not let you down.
Scout: Sounds fun.
Sniper: K.
Heavy: No, I'm fucking not.
Spy: Do I have to be?
Engineer : Please god, I am so tired.
Engineer: No problemo.
Narrator: But it was all problemo.
#tf2#team fortress 2#tf2 headcanons#tf2 scout#tf2 soldier#tf2 pyro#tf2 engineer#tf2 heavy#tf2 demoman#tf2 spy#tf2 medic#tf2 sniper
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CBT and Exposure Therapy: Blitzø Showcase
An important (really, don't skip) disclaimer
If you are contemplating whether or not you would benefit from any kind of therapy, consider consulting with your medical provider first. While I did my best to validate all the points made using publicly available resources, I am not a medical professional. At the very least, I strongly advise that you do your own research and not take some amateur's opinion about a character from a silly demon show for granted.
"Everyone in this show needs fucking therapy STAT!"
We hear fans screaming into the void every now and then. Me too. I plead guilty and I willingly put myself in custody. But I am not taking these words back.
Especially often it is being said with Blitzø in mind, who, as hinted earlier and clearly shown in the latest episode, Ghostfuckers, is not doing okay. Not in the slightest.
Which is . . . yes. Indeed, trauma-ridden Blitzø is a major problem for both him and those around him. Yes, we see him reaching his lowest point now exactly because he left these gaping wounds untreated for so long.
But the tricky question is—how, though? What to do? Will a good talking to a confidante help? Or, maybe, some kind of shock would snap him out of the spiral?
I've been pondering on this topic for more than 4 months, and, as the Ghostfuckers came out, I finally got all the data I need to prove a point. The show did all the job for me and effectively made Blitzø go through improvised versions of two popular therapy techniques. And, before I even start, I want to say—I am so glad with what we ended up with. What they did, and, more importantly, didn't do, aligns well with how it would likely happen in real life.
So buckle up, and let's see where it gets us!
Therapy # 1. Cognitive-behavioral therapy, or CBT
This is, in essence and with some corrections, your good old talking. Here you can find more information about it, so, if you're not familiar with the topic, I recommend following the link first.
But, very shortly: CBT is an extremely common approach to be tried while you're dealing with anxiety, depression, and a number of other mental disorders. What it aims to do is to help you get past unhelpful thinking (distortions) and learn not to act on it.
Looks like it fits the bill, right? Blitzø has a lot of issues with self-fulfilling prophecies, infuriatingly stupid assumptions, poorly thought-out actions . . .
But he's not like, you know . . . w-we're not, like . . . we're not doing a . . . w-we . . . what's betw— It's a transactional fucking, you see.
If you don't feel like coming, that's OK! I'm sure I can do without it for one month. :)
Stolas only cares about having a rugged peasant raw-dog him into his matress! It's nothing, ya know . . . it's nothing else.
You . . . no longer have any obligation to see me, to touch me, to bed me . . . You are— you are free of me.
He sees things which aren't truly there.
It's not Stolas giving him space after the disaster in the 'Ozzie's.' It must be Stolas not needing him anymore, getting tired of him.
It's not Stolas caring about Blitzø. He is a royal, why would he care how an imp's day he happened to be fucking was?
It's not Stolas setting Blitzø free and putting an end to a problematic transaction they had with the hope for it to grow into something more. It's him getting rid of Blitzø.
As a result, he ends up hurting himself and the relationship he had with that one sad gay bird he happened to fall deeply for but literally trashed in his own house twice, acting on nothing more than frenetic fear of losing Stolas, but in reality, driving him away even more . . . for good.
I mean, you royal fucks think you can do this every time, like you can just play with our feelings because we're smaller and not as important!
Ha! I'm right, aren't I? You get off getting plowed by people you look down on!
And I can sorry more people, everyone but you! 'Cause I don't owe you dick! Everyone, but you . . .
So, the case's closed? Let someone—say, Millie—talk to him and tell him how wrong he was about himself and the others?
Well, here's the thing. Despite him being infinitely wrong about Stolas's intentions, we can't deny the fact that every one of his beliefs was not, in fact, a distortion. It'd led him to wrong conclusions, yes, but it was built on the information he received and legitimate experiences he had in his life. Here are only some of the facts connected to only this situation with Stolas, but there are other problematic behaviors and other reasons for him acting the way he does.
Fact # 1. The circus fire did happen, and Blitzø was the reason for it. Unintentional, and of course it wasn't his fault, but it still ruined the lives of many people—him included. Blitzø cannot act like it never occurred.
Fact # 2. Hell is divided by class and race. Their situationship with the grimoire was an embodiment of that inequality. A lot of Blitzø's outburst during the Full Moon and later in the Apology Tour was connected to it, to his beliefs that Stolas is the same as the rest of the privileged circle. Beliefs, I stress, justified by the real world. Stolas is more of an exception, and even then, his behavior is only different when it comes to Blitzø. He still acts the same toward other imps.
Fact # 3. We knew about Stolas's intentions all along, but before that fateful Full Moon, what Blitzø saw was Stolas avoiding him and not communicating the issue the Ozzie's date had raised. And before Ozzie's? Stolas did act entitled and inappropriate. He was baby-talking to Blitzø and used derogatory terms while addressing him. The dude literally called him an impish plaything in the Truth Seekers.
Fact # 4. Blitzø's heavily implied (though not officially confirmed by the show) existing conditions—ADHD*, BPD**, PTSD, and dyslexia/dyscalculia***—do affect his life, and while Hell seems to be somewhat receptive of neurodivergence, he still has to deal with it every single fucking day. He is going to be avoidant and afraid to be abandoned at the same time. He is going to hate himself. His learning disabilities are going to make his life harder. No way around it.
Note: *, **, and *** contain links to separate meta-analyses from @timkontheunsure and @tealvenetianmask about the respective conditions and how they show themselves in Blitzø's case.
And my beef with CBT here is exactly that. CBT's goal is to gaslight you into believing your distortions hold no water and suggests you just ignore them. And, as I've shown with Blitzø, these reactions and assumptions aren't baseless. They are legitimate, and, in fact, sometimes help to get by. Even though it's a crooked crutch, you can't learn to walk properly by just throwing that crutch away. You're still going to limp, and oh, will it be painful.
This is oversimplistic and dismissive. Anxiety and depression don't come out of the blue, and with mental disabilities, it's even deeper. The class/disability stigma is alive and strong, and just slapping a "you're fine" bandaid on your traumatized self isn't going to help.
Therapy # 2. Exposure therapy.
Exposure therapy is another approach commonly used while dealing with traumatic past and its aftermath—PTSD, anxiety, phobias, and such. Again, if you're not familiar, there's the link for you, but very shortly—the therapist puts the patient in a safe environment and 'exposes' them to the feared object in question for limited periods of time. The goal is to eventually get rid of the targeted fear and decrease avoidance.
And Blitzø has got some phobias for sure.
The fear of letting everyone down. Again.
And the fear of abandonment. Again.
All of it is a result of self-hatred, sitting so deeply it rules his life and his vision of how others perceive him. Said it himself. Almost.
So, where and how does the show expose Blitzø to his traumatic past?
First, the most recent, and the most obvious one—Rolando and his slideshow of all traumatic events Blitzø ever had in his life.
Second—Blitzø's drug trip in the Truth Seekers. While it does not contain the events of the past as they were, it does force him to face his fears.
Are you worried I might have enough of it one day as well? . . . You're going to die alone! . . . You're going to die alone, Blitzo!
With some stretch, the third one is Verosika's 'Blitzo sucks' party. Where Blitzø was forced to see the consequences of his avoidance and rejection.
Note: to be clear, I do think the party does not show the true extent of Blitzø's actions and how much he'd hurt people. It was exaggerated by Verosika, and here I explain why this is the case.
So, what gives? Or, rather, what gives it not?
It might sound funny now, considering I brought it up myself, but I, once again, say this is not therapeutic, just as CBT kind of 'talking.' If anything, all these three events did more harm than good.
The D.H.O.R.K.S.'s goal in the Truth Seekers was to torture the information out of Blitzø. He was not supposed to overcome it. He was supposed to crack.
The Verosika's goal was to ruin Blitzø's reputation. She was working her ass off to prove he's just a heartless freak.
The Rolando's goal was to fucking kill Blitzø.
And okay, their motivations had nothing to do with helping him, but maybe it did, in its own twisted way?
No. The writers added this to push Blitzø past the breaking point, not to heal him, and to show us more of his lore. Each time he was forced to face his past or fears or consequences, he was only spiraling more.
The only thing which did him some good was . . . well, Millie finally seeing his bravado mask falling off. But the cost of it was way too high. Not worth it.
To the therapy's defense, some points why it would never work in the way it was done in the show:
Blitzø had never given his consent and was not ready to face it. I might be very rude right now, but go and try producing some explosion-like sounds in front of war veterans without letting them know first and see what happens.
The amount of fearful experience exposed was way too overboard. He couldn't possibly digest it in a healthy way.
The environment was not safe. It was straight-up retraumatizing, an intentional one.
So there's that.
But what helped then?
We've briefly brushed over the fact Millie did talk to Blitzø. While I did imply this might be an example of CBT, here are some key deviations from the classic therapy which made all the difference.
Millie didn't sugarcoat all the shit Blitzø did. He was hurting their business. He didn't pay her. He was reduced to Bethanie. It showed her opinion can be trusted.
Millie apologized for not being there for him sooner. She admitted she relied too much on Blitzø being bulletproof, unbothered by everything. She admitted she didn't support him in a way he always did.
While proving she could never hate Blitzø, she used their common story, one he knows and can recall. She used evidence to prove him wrong, not a "it's all in your head" bandaid. And more than that, later she proved it with action—not for one second did she believe Rolando and his shittalk about what Blitzø supposedly was thinking about her. Her unwavering faith spoke more than any words ever could.
Getting back to exposure therapy . . . Metaphorically, she reminded Blitzø he can handle a beating or two. And physically beat the infestor demon out of him, which, as we can see later, didn't really affect Blitzø that much. He wasn't even battered. So, apparently, when the said exposure is done by someone who genuinely tries to make you feel better and knows your limits well, it might just work?
And finally, Millie acknowledged Blitzø's pain. She didn't brush it away. She validated him.
What all of this is about?
Like every treatment, too much of a medicine can become poisonous. So are CBT and exposure therapy.
They might help, and lots of research shows they do in certain cases. But there are limitations to what they can and cannot achieve, and they have to be adjusted to each individual story, to each trauma, and they should not be applied as a way to mend the outcome of the trauma without taking into account the story it comes with. Again, legitimate concerns and experiences cannot be brushed away or ignored.
Actualy . . . we've seen where it leads in the show too. In the beginning, Millie was quite dismissive of Blitzø's worries—all of this over a . . . breakup?
And here it comes full circle.
Only when Millie started taking Blitzø seriously, did it help them progress. And look how quickly we've switched from a complete despair to a glimmer of hope! Isn't that a beautiful closing scene?
As a closing note—we do not need to 'fix' Blitzø. After all this shit he went through, there won't be a day where he wakes up and be like, "Hey, I don't hate myself anymore! And look, I'm not afraid to be abandoned or misunderstood!"
I'm sorry to break it to you, but this is a lifelong battle. Being mentally whole, healthy, and constantly happy is no more than a myth, and everyone has their own demons and skeletons to deal with.
What Blitzø needs is some good support system to pull him back when he's down.
And boy, do I hope that one particular owl will fill in that role of unyielding pillar for Blitzø each time our lizard will fall into that pit again. Look, I love Millie, but there's only so much she can do. She can't be always present, she has her own life . . . and her own disaster of a husband to look after (affectionate <3). Here and here @lost-romantique talks about Stolas's capacity of loving, with me occasionally nodding, ha-ha. But to be short—it's fucking immense. And since he loves words, I do believe he has all the energy to tell again and again and again how awesome Blitzø is. Even if Blitzø wouldn't believe it himself.
#I'm ashamed to admit how many times I did a complete rewrite of this thing#and how long did I put off this meta#but hey#now it's out of my system#also this fucking tumblr and its 30 images limit#forced me to delete some nice screenshots#but oh well#akira's whimpery metas#tw self-hatred#tw trauma#tw ptsd#tw abuse#helluva boss#helluva boss spoilers#helluva boss ghostfuckers#helluva boss meta#blitzø#millie#stolitz#stolas#stolas x blitz#stolas goetia#blitz x stolas#blitz
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