#we'd all turn into feral animals

[cunty-mouse]

I wanna hear about the 27 and Mrs. 27 “best friends to lovers” origin story. The debauched version anyway. 😏

Ahhh that old tale.... settle down children, this one is rambling....

Mrs and I met at university. My first knowledge of her was one of my new friends, who I had a fiendish crush on, had made a new friend and Would Not Shut Up About This Bitch. So I'm not thrilled to meet her, as you can imagine. But meet we did. We were in the same lectures and always running into each other's circles on drunken nights out.

One of her flatmates was an out and proud lesbian who started taking Mrs to the LGBTQ society meetings "as her guest". Soon enough every lesbian in our uni got a whiff of her and went batshit feral. I'd say she spent 3 years fighting them off, but honestly, I think she's only noticed about 30% of it. I hung around as faithful, extremely platonic friend and heard about all her escapades with everyone else. (I only occasionally, guiltily, got off to the thought of her abs 👀)

Much to my annoyance she actually was that funny and that lovely and that kind as my friend had said. Mrs was still approximating heterosexuality at this point, if not very convincingly.

We maintained that status quo for the whole of uni both dating other people, though her a lot more than me — because she's gorgeous in this perfect, lesbian crack sort of a way - ripped with a tiny waist and big tits. Swaggering around with her boxers showing and a hockey hoodie on despite never playing hockey. And she's somehow completely oblivious to how hot she is and she's funny and brilliant and the girls just fell at her confused little lesbian feet.

Anyway... cut to 6 years into the friendship, uni is done and we've gathered this little group of gays and we spend Friday nights drinking and dancing in a handful of clubs of various degrees of homosexuality. In these places she and I are constantly pushing the boundaries of friendly. Men would approach her and I'd repel their advances by pretending we were a couple — dancing too close, trapping her against the wall and hovering a hair's breadth away from a kiss. We danced less and less appropriately, all out grinding on each other on the dancefloor. We'd loiter in the bathroom gossiping, me sat up on the sinks, her between my knees leaning in a little too much ... and we would never never acknowledge any of it in the light of day. I would stay at her place because I lived outside the city and we somehow fell into the habit of cuddling in bed on these nights. She was always the little spoon, she would pull my arm around her waist as she's settling down. I'd feel like a hero, like a knight protecting her. I somehow - SOMEHOW - I was in complete and utter denial that I was in love with her.

Then one day we push just a little too far... I had fallen from my bike that morning, and grazed a patch over my eyebrow. We started drinking cheap wine at 2 in the afternoon at a Yates wine bar. Our hot, bi friend showed up and started flirting indiscriminately as she did... It all sparked the tinder that had been piling up for years. We still, to this day, don't know who kissed who first. All I know is the moment we did a wall of denial fell for me and I knew I'd never be the same again. When we broke apart my brain started turning at a million miles an hour and all I knew was I needed to get out of there. I couldn't stay over at her place or everything was going to be ruined. I got up, made my panicked excuses, and bolted for the door, dead set on catching the last bus home. She followed because of course she did. She talked me down like a scared animal and coaxed me into a taxi. When we got to her place we froze up entirely, with no idea how to even be around each other anymore. In the end she convinced me to get into bed and we put Buffy on, our comfort show. As we got comfy, hands started to wander. The tension mounted again until it snapped and the laptop got unceremoniously dumped off the side of the bed. We had the kind of rabid, clawing, urgent sex you only have with the person you've been subconsciously trying not to have sex with for years. It's not elegant or practiced but its desperate and we both end up marked for days after. In the small hours of the morning high on hormones and drunk on danger we fell about giggling at the silliest of things. In the afterglow she falls into a peaceful, drunken, fucked-out sleep. And I... do not. I lay there terrified and trembling, turning everything over and over in my mind until morning. And in the morning, she behaves...

It was February 12th — two days before valentine's day.

...exactly like every other morning: Like nothing happened.

That's not the end of the story, as you all know. But it is the beginning.

[salternateunreality2]

Claudia has a pet dragon AU

cute ideas that @strayheartless and I chatted about <3

Claudia probably had a pet dragon at some point that still visits and bothers her for snacks

Dragon: *tail wagging, dancing around, breathing fire* Claudia: *shoves its nose away* go on, git, I ain't got nothin more for ya, you ate all my wolf liver!

Dragon: *rolls on its back asking for belly rubs*

Claudia: ugh, fine. *Delivers belly rubs* Go on, ya daft dragon, I'm taking Cloud to school!

The villagers: ...

-----------

Claudia and her dragon had their babies around the same time, and babysat for each other.

Claudia and Dragon Mama exchange snacks occasionally; Claudia brings special parts of her kills that she and Cloud shouldn't eat, and Dragon Mama sometimes drops off whole carcasses.

Dragon: this deer ain't worth my time, but I killed it and Claudia might give me wolf liver if I drop by!

-----------

Mama Dragon is named Asil, and Baby Dragon is named Knarf. Because backwards, that's Lisa Frank, and they look like Lisa Frank characters. And they're scratch-n-sniff.

-----------

AGSZC visit Nibelheim and AGSZ are panicked when Cloud hears a dragon in the distance and runs off to confront it...only to discover Cloud GIGGLING and play-fighting it. They are more concerned about the giggling, as they've never heard it before.

They expected the Steve Irwin vibes from Zack, who has a pet sahagin in Gongaga, but Cloud was a surprise (he shouldn't have been, he's feral AF).

--

AGSZC: *walking to Nibelheim*

Dragon: ROAR

Angeal: We'd better steer clear, right Cloud? Cloud?! CLOUD!!!

Zack: Where did he even go?! That was so fast!

Sephiroth: Towards the dragon.

Genesis: Of fucking course.

AGSZ: *runs up just in time to see cloud, unarmed, jump on a dragon*

Cloud: KNARF YOU FUCKER I GOT YOU FIRST WAIT NO NOT THE FACE NOT THE FACE HAHAHAHAHAHAHA GET OFF

--

The dragons immediately like Zack because all animals immediately like Zack.

Angeal wins them over through snacks.

And they're obsessed with Genesis' sword and materia, and Sephiroth's hair.

They keep Sitting On Sephiroth and grooming his hair or staring at it, and they keep trying to steal Gen's stuff. You wouldn't think a puppy-lizard-cat is very sneaky when it's the size of a house, but clearly you would be wrong

--

Sephiroth: Please, Miss, I don't know how dragon saliva affects hair, and I can't afford for it to go spiky like Cloud's.

Asil: *still sitting on him and licking*

--

(turns out it's really really good for hair and makes it thick, shiny, and healthy...after you wash out the top layer of slime)

Knarf and Asil leave Genesis gifts when they steal from him. Sometimes it's worthless crap like a leaf or a rodent carcass; sometimes it's sparkling gems, rare materia, or their own scales, which are hard to come by. There is no pattern.

Genesis tries to bargain with them, bringing an assortment of Wall Market jewelry.

--

Genesis: Shall we trade? What will you give me for this diamond necklace?

Knarf: *holds up a leaf*

Genesis: How about this fake ruby bracelet?

Knarf: *5 rare materia*

Genesis: Ok, then you must give me something great for this fake ruby necklace, which only differs from the bracelet in that it is longer...

Knarf: *dead skunk plops on Genesis' head*

--

Talking about their childhoods:

--

Sephiroth: My sperm donor would order me to kill kittens.

Genesis: My parents didn't care, but my nanny would hit me with a ruler.

Zack: I'd be sent out into the backwoods to work off my energy and made friends with monsters!

Cloud: I'd go to air jail, where Asil would pick me up by my shirt and dangle me in the air.

Angeal: MY MOTHER SENT ME TO TIME OUT WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOUR CHILDHOODS

--

Air jail:

I'd like to think that Sephy starts to have his breakdown, Claudia hears about it and the mysterious head in the reactor, and then sends the boys to help Seph while she and Asil take care of Jenova.

Asil both sits on Jenova and incinerates her, while Claudia shoots Jenova with her biggest shotgun.

[jakkon-and-rose-topic]

Dogs

Cw: Swearing, Mentions of Trauma, Implied torture

Finn smiled as he stepped into the room. "Alright, everyone, I've got an announcement for all of you!"

Phenik, Silas, and Lyra looked up from their food as Jakkon and Rose turned away from their conversation.

The younger three all smiled, waiting in silent anticipation as Rose raised an eyebrow.

"What do you think he's gonna say?" Jakkon smirked. "That him and Morena finally realized they love each other?"

Rose pursed her lips, stopping herself from laughing as she leaned over to her brother-in-law. "Not funny, Horns."

"How dare you! I am perfectly funny when I want to be!" He made a face at her as the two turned took at Finn.

"Thank you for your attention, Morena and I have considered our issue of safety and have made a decision that will temporarily improve things. So we'd like you all to formally meet Tango and Luna." He stepped to the side as Morena opened the doors, and two large dogs trotted into the room.

Jakkon froze, staring at them as Rose smiled, not noticing him as she turned to Finn. "You got dogs? Really?

"Yeah! They have plenty of uses! Besides, I think the kids could use some fluffy animals for a change instead of just us adults!"

"Oooohhhh Fuck no." Jakkon pulled his legs up onto his chair with a shudder. "No thank you. Nope. Fuck that."

"Horns?" Rose turned to look at him to see the Satyr pressed against the back of his seat as the two dogs turned to look at him and prowled closer.

Jakkon stared at them for a moment before he pressed his eyes closed, breaths coming quicker and shallow as soft growls rumbled beneath the voices of the others. The two animals came closer and closer with every step, Rose suddenly panicking as she realized that for the first time in years, she didn't know what was wrong with her brother-in-law. They were just animals. What was this reaction?

But then, one of the dogs lunged forward and bit onto Jakkon's arm. With a terrified feral screech, he kicked it square in the face, his hoof hitting the animal directly between the eyes. A high-pitched yelp and a growl sounded from the dog as it stumbled back, and Jakkon scrambled up onto the chair to get away from it.

The two dogs growled and began to bark as they circled the chair, looking up at him. Jakkon began to tremble as he backed away, stepping onto the table. He hugged his arms close to himself, gritting sharp teeth as the dogs clawed at the table. Jakkon kept an eye on the animals as he darted to the far side of the table and scooped Pherun into his arms, hugging the smaller Satyr close.

Then Rose recognized it. That behavior from the dogs. It happened in these sorts of animals when they were looking at their prey.

They wanted to eat him, and he knew it. Rose grabbed onto the leads and pulled the dogs back with a sharp yell in their direction as Jakkon cowered back against the table, staring at them with wide, terrified eyes, a sort of primal panic in his face.

But it wasn't just fear, this was something deeper. As if he remembered these dogs. His hands shifted to cover the strange scars on his arms and Rose stopped in her tracks as Finn dragged the dogs away, realizing it too. Those wounds weren't from glass or debris.

They were bite marks.

[anonymous-eggy]

Oh i know Rian has a nice ass

[theoraeeken]

i didn't put this on my bingo but i should have. prediction for 2022: a lot of people have obviously gone into this season assuming we'd see consistent domination from max, and it's been challenged heavily by rbr poor reliability and charles being a feral little animal. we all know that rbr is willing to overlook any number of issues in order to protect their driver, and that protection tends to go out the window the second they stop performing the way they want. we've already seen it this season from marko and now newey. i genuinely believe that if ferrari continues this brilliant streak, and if/when merc finally takes the fiat 500 engine out of their car, the tolerance rbr cultivate will evaporate like fucking steam. the snide comments and criticisms will make a serious return to form, because the red bull industrial complex is built 50% on money and 50% on berating their workers into prime production. the same toxicity rbr promoted last season will return, but this time they'll turn it inwards. it's going to be chaos.

[nexttrickanvils]

zelda? skyward sword?

Okay.

Once again gonna go animated with this one. (But if you reeeealy want me to think of a live action cast, maybe another post.)

As for voice actors...

I know the whole idea of Link talking is controversial because of the last attempts to give him more lines than hyah. But one was a cheap Saturday morning cartoon and the other was... the CDI games. This is a hypothetical movie with a budget.

So anyway, I kind of like the idea of Robbie Daymond (Persona 5, Sailor Moon) voicing Link. He does "friendly young man" really well but he's also really good when it's time to go fucking feral.

Skyward Sword!Zelda would need a voice actress who's good at performing as young idealistic girls and is good at singing. So for that I would suggest either Abbey Trot (Fire Emblem: 3 Houses, Demon Slayer) or Amanda Lee (Pokemon Evolutions, Zombie Land Saga.)

Then we have Fi. In a movie format, hopefully she can shine better as a character/companion than a hand holdy tutorial. I kind of want to suggest Jeannie Tirado (Fire Emblem: Three Houses,) if only cause she has some experience voicing an emotionless character (well as much as she could with a silent protag)

Of course we can't forget Groose, everyone's favorite bully turned dumbass ally. So obviously we need someone good at the dumb meathead kind of character.

Kinda leaning towards Kaiji Tang (13 Sentinels, Beastars)

Then of course we have Ghirahim. I'm thinking Alejandro Saab (Fire Emblem Three Houses, Final Fantasy VII Remake) for his voice.

Then finally we have Impa and if you know all about Impa's role in Skyward Sword then you know we'd need an actress with a very good range. I'm thinking Laura Post (Octopath Traveler, Brand New Animal)

Okay so with casting outta the way, let's talk story. Obviously what works (or doesn't work as the case may be) in a video game doesn't work in a story so cut down on the Imprisoned fights. Maybe two in total, one to get the idea of what it is and a second for Groose to help out with and get his character development. Only one Silent Realm trip and we're not doing the whole Revisiting the earlier areas for a NEW thing.

I don't know what could replace it but eh. 🤷‍♀️

Maybe get a little more time with Zelda at the start to really emphasize her and Link's bond, maybe even some childhood flashbacks. Also since this isn't a game, we could maybe do some POV switching and see what Zelda and Impa are doing while Link's out questing.

And that's all I've got, hopefully you like this, Nonny.

[yehlsays]

I recently ventured out in search of some wild horses and found not one, but nine separate little herds. So, I guess if you like horses this feed is about to get more interesting for you for a little while, I have about 400 shots to go through. The Alberta Wild Horses are found on the eastern slopes of the rocky mountains. I usually see them in May, shortly after the snow goes and right before the Victoria Day long weekend brings people to the slopes by the thousands, with big campers and OHVs. The horses move up further into the mountains as the weather warms, the grass greens, and people become more active in their homes, but today I saw somewhere around 50 individual horses over the course of my travels. The term 'wild horse' always brings as least one person into the comments section to say "They aren't wild!". That's true, I guess. Horses have been domesticated for something like 5000 years. So if we want to be specific we'd call them Alberta Feral Horses. But I'd contend they're more wild than they are feral. The earliest record of wild horses in Alberta is from Mr David Thompson himself, who spotted them living near the Columbia River in 1807. That's more than 200 years of development. Wild horses in Alberta are likely descendants of the Spanish horses that arrived in North America in the 1600s, and were taken up by the indigenous people of the plains. Animals got lost, or were turned loose, then in the 1800s and 1900s you can toss in some mining ponies, logging horses, and ranch horses, breed 'em all together with a dash of mountain terrain, harsh climate, and survival of the fittest and minimal human intervention, and you get the Alberta Wild Horse! Might not be a native species, but they sure are a type. Want stuff like this, but in your mailbox? Sign up for a postcard

[punkscowardschampions]

Ali & Tommy

Ali: [Let us assume he has gone back to school now and this was a weekend affair] Ali: You forgot your 🕯 Ali: expect it in the post, minus the disappointed note from Ro I've taken out Ali: ✈️ trips not guilt trips, welcome Tommy: leave it in, LOVE to hear what she's gotta say about why I'M the one being a holy show Ali: You aren't respecting the sanctity of her offering, is very much the point and gist Ali: she put more letters to it, as standard Tommy: 'course she did Ali: It does mean a lot to her Ali: but yeah, nice to have my 📅 to myself again, can't lie Tommy: meant so much she fucked off soon as the 🎂 candles were out Ali: You know she isn't the party 'til dawn sort Ali: anyway, they'd be coming in for morning service 😅 Tommy: I know it's her party & she can 😭 if she wants to Ali: If I'd known that was the theme, could've made party bags with 🧅 & 🧻 Ali: well, at least you were in your element 🕺 and you kept Meena and Carly entertained Ali: the hostess not being overly concerned herself, like Tommy: this family's hostess with the mostest has & always will be me, honey Tommy: what else do they teach me at this school, like? Ali: I had no idea you were at finishing school, my apologies Ali: how's things with keeping a man then, Holly Housewife? Tommy: Why stop at strutting with 📚 on our heads when we could do it in 🩰 perfectly en pointe, carrying a sulky ballerina all the while? Basically a Latin motto Tommy: & yet I still can't keep a man, cheers for the reminder Ali: Maybe now you're of age they introduce the final string to your bow Ali: quadruple threat = 🎤🕺🎭🍆 Tommy: 😂🤞🙏 Tommy: stole your girl regardless, tell her to call me when she's slept off the festivities Ali: No doubt she will when she's between the next couple of parties 😜 Ali: your girl is here actually, helping Ro 'organise' her presents Ali: dunno where she parked her 🎃 Tommy: I'll join Fraze in the red corner 😍💋💔🤬🎯👿🥤🤡🥵🛑💘 Tommy: those dolls do go walk abouts if you don't keep a 👀 but obviously she was 🤞🙏 I was still there Ali: He might misconstrue that and come to fight for her honour Ali: 🤞🙏 she's in LDN too, naturally Ali: lots of them are haunted, but that last part of your sentence there is the MOST 😱 ever Ali: it's weird when you approach anything fuck boy like Tommy: miscommunication is his thing™ no hard feels or feelings full stop, 'course 💪🚫😭🚫😍 Tommy: what can I say? being back DOES things to me Tommy: it's all the positive masculine role models this family has Ali: Guess it beats a total lack of @Joseph Ali: though he sent her some book about musical theory so he still manages to be the favourite somehow 🤷 Ali: and hey, dad is the best Tommy: v catty & then cuddly of you, Kit Tommy: he doesn't respond to MY efforts at being a daddy's girl exactly the same way somehow 🤷 Ali: we're both living up to what's expected then 😼 Ali: could just be I'm better at it than you though Ali: if your ego will allow it Tommy: can't let our sister fly that flag alone, like Tommy: as for who's better at kissing the arse of authority figures, don't need to dignify that with an answer 'cause my school report will Tommy: you ain't never been a pleasure to have in class Ali: I might genuinely have to shoot myself if anyone ever said anything so asinine about me so you're right Ali: that would be such a waste of potential, not until I've lead a more scandal-filled existence Tommy: you could respect the hustle Tommy: it's getting me 🩰 perks Tommy: disciplined is the head that wears the 👑 hoe Ali: I know all about discipline, trust me Tommy: we've all read 50 shades, you can't take it as gospel Tommy: Ro could write a better bdsm bibe when she's done at church Tommy: bible* Ali: It's all fun and games 'til I walk in on her flagellating herself Ali: how are we explaining that to the shrinks Tommy: that she misunderstood a more sexy f word? Ali: we don't want to look like we're trying to lock her up for that Ali: way too retro, bro Tommy: She wants to be catholic Tommy: I didn't make the rules Ali: No, then da really would hate you Ali: she's got worse Tommy: Yeah Tommy: I know, no amount of drama from the golden couple could detract Ali: not that I haven't heard enough about that though Ali: guess there's too much to put in a passive-aggressive note Tommy: 🙄🥱😴 Tommy: She wasn't even THAT late & tbh I wouldn't have blamed her for doing a Joe no show Ali: I would've understood if she was upset when she wasn't coming Ali: I am when Joe doesn't, whatever Ali: but I think she was actually MORE upset that she did come in the end, and not just because she was messy, but because Ro thought she wouldn't Ali: I don't get it, they're complicated, always have been but ??? Tommy: she can't hold being a good sister over her, like you can't me being the most fabulous brother in existence 🏆 Tommy: the fuck ups are more fun to bring to a 🥊 Ali: I guess that's more likely than them being all 💕💞 Ali: but fucking hell, does it hurt to hope Tommy: it's hurting you 😿 Tommy: she'll be too hangry to hope Ali: I have no hope or agenda for your 🏆 or 👑 dear brother Ali: but seriously Ali: what does she want Tommy: like you said ???? Tommy: there's every chance I'm bringing too much McKenna magic to the motives & she don't wanna bear a grudge til the end of her days Ali: because it doesn't sound like her at all Ali: if you can't be honest in the DMs where can you, eh, to quote that romcom Ali: fucked if I know what to do about it right now though Ali: maybe I need to sleep off the festivities, or get something to eat Tommy: long as you're not so hysterical you run into the path of an oncoming car, to recall another faithful role of hers Ali: have you adapted that for the stage? Ali: get 5 of you to be the 🚗 Tommy: dibs 'cause I can't do the accent Tommy: not that loads of 'em posh kids can either Ali: they'll have spent enough time gentrifying the east end to have it down, offensively so but all adds to the hysterics Tommy: I'll pitch it then 💡 Tommy: go down better than her 🎤🎵 Ali: better than her when she got hit by the car, like Ali: give me credit or I'll turn up and make a SCENE Tommy: like I wouldn't be LIVING for that Tommy: if we are being honest in the DMS Ali: I'll work on my RICKKAAAAAAAAAAAY Ali: maybe can convince Ro to be Sharon Tommy: hang around your ma in law & you'll ace it in no time Ali: Ha Ali: she'd accept Peggy, not Pat Tommy: fair, Laoise's ma's the one more likely to express herself with big earrings & animal prints Tommy: but I don't know if Sam Mitchell is a favourable role for Carls, what did she ever even do? Ali: Are you trying to tell me it's NOT a look? 🤔 Ali: or that you rate Laoise's mum? Ali: The character, nothing, the OG actress lost her nose so we're all agreed that's a no Tommy: I'd rate seeing her da on the doorstep in nothing but a bow tie for how mortified she'd be when I uploaded it Tommy: Grant's also no, he knocked Martine on her arse way before that car Tommy: but if she's Phil, you're Sharon so that's a yeah from me, like Ali: Don't, her dad always gave me those vibes Ali: and you ain't actually on the street still to have to witness that 🤮 Ali: I don't know how she'll feel about going bald, I'll float it gently before getting out the clippers Tommy: Do Rock's while you're there, he looks feral Tommy: even that nonce wouldn't have him Ali: You know his ears would get chapped Ali: hair is essential or he'll fly away on the breeze Ali: and we'd all be devastated, obvs Tommy: don't start me thinking about that scene in Dumbo, cheers very much Tommy: 😭😭😭😭😭😭 Ali: Such a depressing film Ali: disney gives me bad vibes Tommy: the park is creepy & you won't catch me there Tommy: whether or not Walt was a Nazi it's still a nah from me Ali: Wee bit concerning that emotional manipulation and forced fun trumps facism/literal Nazis for you but we'll 🤐 Ali: ma is in enough of a mood and she'll only direct it at me so nah Tommy: well his racism is disputed depending whether you're in camp 😇 saint him 🙏 or camp cast him into the hellfire 👿 Tommy: the forced fun & emotional manipulation is just facts Ali: 👿 advocate Tommy: I'm gonna go to hell 🤞 he's an ally Ali: 😬 Ali: it's a punishment, not a holiday Tommy: it'll be a grand hol for my pores Tommy: love a sauna sesh Ali: that London smog is not it Ali: how black is your snot? Tommy: as Ro's soul 💀 Ali: Thomas Tommy: Alison Ali: 🛑 it Tommy: she'd 🖤 to hear it but FINE Ali: you're an enabler, it is known Ali: not the kind of encouragement I'm after tah Tommy: enabling you & your lady love to have a good time, yeah 🕺💃 Tommy: & I fully expected her to turn up with a pet raven is all I'm saying Ali: the best was made of it by all, despite it all Ali: even her, in her way Tommy: despite Kayne appearing 🤵🥀 & all in her case Ali: yeah Ali: ugh Ali: he's harmless enough, bless him Tommy: she'd beg to differ right now Tommy: you're gonna wanna hide the 🍄🍄💀 til she calms down Ali: You don't need to tell me Ali: I think he's just really oblivious Ali: like all lads Ali: it wasn't you know...assaulty Tommy: It's not his fault she's team true love's kiss & he AIN'T it Tommy: who could EVER measure up to the 💭💞 Ali: standards, cool Ali: unrealistic expectations, less so Ali: but I can't really advocate for reality at this point in the game Tommy: You don't need to tell me, sis Ali: you're team turn-a-stage-kiss-real, yeah Ali: it's more realistic than fairytales, anyway, look at strictly Tommy: I'm team when's my life been a shitty made for netflix flick never mind a 🐸🤴📖 Tommy: crushing realism ftw Ali: 💔 Ali: If you didn't have a tragic love-life to complain about, you'd be too insufferable 🤴💩 Tommy: comforting Tommy: I'd HATE to morph into Fraze of a few years back Ali: I'll let you know if you start getting freckles Tommy: I'd know if I woke up with those brows Tommy: nowhere to hide, like Ali: 👺 Tommy: 😂 Ali: What are you getting ma for her bday/have you got already (suckup) Tommy: I left it there if you wanna find & shake the 🎁 Ali: Wow, you really didn't wanna pay postage that bad huh Ali: I'll see if I can 🔮 Tommy: with what? I'm skint after buying hers & Ro's Tommy: & it'll be 🎅🎄🎁 before too long Ali: that's what people really mean when they say dance don't pay Ali: gifting an interpretive dance is nothing but pretentious and unwelcome Ali: I can bodge together however many crafts I need and save my dolla Tommy: been there, tried that one Tommy: so much for your so called genius Tommy: ain't even thought of earning any by busting out the 🎅🎄🎵 classics for a busking sesh, works with 🩰 too I'll have you know Ali: 'til you knock over an old lady and have to leg it, like Ali: and if you hadn't noticed, I've been a little busy making a replica Ro, tah Ali: my creative juices are juiced right now Tommy: I'll make it look like part of the show & have the punters eating out of my palm when I catch & twirl any 👵 before they touch ground Tommy: yeah well you've got time from now, fair game on all things yule from Nov 1st Ali: 👌👌 clearly the LDN ones are more receptive because they're vicious 'round here with their 👜s and I'm only trying to give them the tea they ordered Ali: if ANYONE should advocate for Christmas not dragging, like Tommy: it's Irish dancing or fuck all back there, 365 🌧 or ⛅ Tommy: little girls scam every bit of that trade Ali: ironic when it's catch these hands in every other aspect Ali: so you'll fit right in, eh Ali: feel traumatised yet? Tommy: I'll do my best, as ever Ali: 🤴 Ali: meanwhile ma will have to make do with whatever IOU present I can knock up Ali: maybe I'll babysit, that's never not gonna work Tommy: she was on about going out 🍽 wasn't she? Tommy: Carls will never not be down either Ali: get him to make her a cake Ali: sorted Ali: providing he washes his hands...a full hose down may be necessary actually Tommy: she's survived the 🧁 he brings back from school & we've all seen the state of him at day's end Ali: yeah, cheers for the immunity boost little 🦠 Ali: fair, I'm pretty sure we put some weird and wonderful things into our bakes at his age and no one died Ali: Laoise nearly but you know Tommy: close but no 🚬 Tommy: typical of that bitch Ali: sure a 🙏 was said to finish the job at mass Tommy: if you see her ma mascara running in an lbd, I demand to be the first to know Ali: I'll pap her in her time of distress, it's fine Ali: I can hide up trees for HOURS if needs must Tommy: I'm not above piggybacking on the 'tragedy' to get better grades or a hol Tommy: do your part, like Ali: she won't fall for 🍄 again Ali: her brother might if Ro puts 'em in her gob Tommy: 💞 Ali: more of a mood than without Ali: add a little danger Tommy: she'd appreciate the drama more than anything he could ever do Ali: 💔 Tommy: nah, we're not shipping that Tommy: not today Ali: You gotta make some bad decisions before you make the right ones Tommy: a bad decision was the colour of her 👗 Tommy: the last thing that girl needs is a boy right now Ali: Okay you can't come for anyone vis a vis colour, boy Ali: even if I still see it when I close my eyes after however many weeks sewing Ali: but you may have a point re. a boy Ali: just, some socialisation wouldn't hurt Ali: and as far as they go, he's harmless Tommy: 'Course I do, she can barely exist in front of us Tommy: if they went on a date, what's she gonna do, order a glass of water? Ali: like you haven't seen her fake eat a plate of food Ali: it's only noticeable to all us that she's not actually putting any in her mouth Tommy: 🔮✨ Tommy: if he's TRULY harmless he don't deserve to be harmed by her attitude Tommy: which anyone else not bound by family love & loyalty would call something loads harsher Ali: Don't Ali: I feel bad enough for Meena sometimes Tommy: @ Carly too & we all know it Ali: Yeah, Carly can handle it though, she's mostly unphased even if it is a total thing 🙄 Tommy: She's a 👸😇 I doubt Kayne is that pure of ❤️ or intentions tbh Tommy: & Meena can handle anything so Ali: he's deffo a virgin though Ali: which yes, makes for more desperation, but he can't be that forceful if he dunno what he wants, you know Ali: yeah but God knows why she wants to come 'round here and get more of it at times Tommy: No shit, Kit but everyone's seen a porno, it's not the 70s Tommy: dress for it all you like Tommy: maybe she wants to get out of her own 🏡 Ali: everyone also knows it's bullshit Ali: whatever else she's got that much about her Tommy: does he though? Tommy: all I'm saying Ali: either way, it isn't like she's going to have a miraculous change of heart Ali: we all saw how well it went Tommy: Yeah but what if it makes her heart set on finding someone else to play 🤴 Tommy: you'd know better than me what goes on in her head Ali: She's 15, I don't see how any of us can say or do anything to stop her if that's what she does want Tommy: 15 technically Tommy: 🤷 Ali: If we can't make her eat, you know Ali: what hope do we have for anything beyond that Tommy: 0 Tommy: & it's fucked Ali: Yep Ali: but it's not as if that bombshell has only just been dropped, I guess Ali: we'll carry on doing what we can Tommy: 🔮✨ Ali: ✌💚

[karawatermelon]

Totally agree with all of this, and actually have a funny story about this very scenario.

Okay, so I was one of the above theoretical kids, and I can confidently say that guns played no part in my safety. What saved my ass was education and not being a fucking idiot.

I grew up in an area that had javelinas. Imagine feral hogs, but like, crossed with a chihuahua. 50% hate, 50% tremble, 100% gonna rip you a (literal) new asshole with its oversized canines.

Oh, and did I mention they're pissed off at humans for moving into their territory, and respond by roaming suburbia like gangs (of around 2 dozen animals or more)?

As kids, we knew there was a plethora of deadly creatures that would love to make us into a meal/see us dead. Scorpions in your shoes, rattlers in the tall grass, coyotes prowling at night, and mountain lions who fall from above to break your neck and leave you hanging in a tree like a side of beef for later.

But nothing. NOTHING was as scary as javelinas. They wouldn't just kill you. They'd chase. You got in their field of view and you better start praying to whatever higher being you thought was listening.

Everyone knew someone that had gotten too close, who had lost a pet, been sent to the hospital, or... died.

I heard them before I saw them, they make relatively pig-like sounds. They were coming for my mom's garden, we'd seen the damage but they'd never come during the day before. I bolted. I don't think I'd run that fast before, nor have I after. I flew up the rickety spiral staircase my mom had found at a junkyard and attached to the garage so we could get up to the deck/roof (flat roof turned into deck).

I watched as a pack of probably 25 delicately wove between the chili peppers to graze on my mother's zucchini. (Did I mention these mofos normally eat cactus? Yeah, they do that.)

And then they were gone as quickly as they had come, and I was just lucky to have not peed my pants.

No amount of posturing or threatening with a gun would have driven the hell beasts off. Even if you could get a gun fast enough, you wouldn't have time to aim and hit all of them before the horde reached you. I have seen trucks mauled because a javelina pack thought it was a threat. Your gun means nothing.

[cryptids-and-more]

A Big foot?

We were living in a little town, in the foothills of the Smoky Mountains in Lake City, Tennessee (now called "Rocky Top") about 40 miles north of Knoxville. Many of us teenagers use to climb up to a huge, house-sized boulder (visible from I-75, when the leaves are off) and hang out, hence the term, "Party Rock."

Late one summer, during school break, me and my little sister decided to go climbing. A lot different times back then. No phones, and we'd be out, from sun up, until dark, walking for miles. Mom knew I would keep us safe, as much as a 14-year-old could. Well, we walked the tracks for a mile or two, and hit the trail, at the base of the mountain.

After a couple hours of walking, we came to a fork in the trail, and even though I've been there, before, with my older brothers, I took a wrong turn. After walking for probably another good half hour, or more, in 90 degree heat, the trail just abruptly ended. Nothing but thick brush, and a 45 degree incline of woods lay ahead. I told my sister that I had made a mistake, and we could easily walk all the way back or just head straight up from there. I knew enough that if we just kept climbing up, looking at the daylight in the tree, above, we would eventually hit the ridgeline, and other trail. I could easily find my way back down to Party Rock.

So, we started trudging forward, grabbing saplings to pull ourselves up along the way. We stopped often, to catch our breath, get our bearings, drink from the canteen and would often look down, hoping to finally get the great view of our little town way below. But the woods were still too thick at that point. As we're slipping on the old leaves, and gasping for air, we reached a few feet of level ground in order to catch our breath. I'm not sure who saw it first but, as soon as I did, I looked over at my sister, and her mouth was already agape.

I've gone over our account many times over the years, and still not sure how we managed to just stumble upon it. I don't know how it couldn't have heard us, but maybe the birds were chirping up there, or maybe it had just got there? I don't know. But, I researched countless encounters over the decades and I truly believe ours had got to be one of the best, ever. And here's why most encounters are a brief, fleeting glimpse of one, crossing a road, or peeking at them, possibly throwing stones, etc.

This Bigfoot was completely unaware of our presence! My sister, immediately whispered "Bigfoot!" But, me, being the big brother, tried to calm her fears  and not show mine, by saying, "It's probably just a hiker enjoying the view." We both turn around, and thought "What view!?" Now, we were in the middle of nowhere, completely off any semblance of a trail, in 90 degree heat. NO WAY that was a person in any suit. They could've sat there for 100 years, and never ran into another person.

As my mind is racing, all I can do is stare. I've grown up hunting, trapping, camping, etc. I was proficient in biology and art. So, I KNOW what animals are supposed to be in certain areas, what they look like, and how to draw them. This was NO bear, mountain lion, bobcat, or even feral wild man! All were ludicrous answers people would give me.

As we stared at it, I noticed it had no clothing. It was completely covered in long, reddish / orange-brown hair, except for around the face. It was squatting (something bears cannot do) and as it looked to its left, my blood ran cold. I could clearly see it was not human! It had more of an ape-like face, and the unmistakable "crown" on his head, like a big silver back gorilla! It was reaching, to its left, to a bush, and pulling leaves/ branches off, and bringing them to its mouth, and eating them. I couldn't see if there were any berries on them, or not, but it was clearly eating leaves and all. We were so close, we could hear the branches break, and the sound of the bushes, bouncing back. Periodically, it would act like it was coming up and out of its squat, a little bit-halfway standing, as it leaned, side to side, craning its neck, trying to look down, through the trees, towards US! That was terrifying! Maybe he caught an occasional scent of us, wafting up, or just sensed us. I don't know.

My sister kept wanting to run, and I was literally too scared to run. I just wanted to close my eyes, and wake up at home. After what seemed like an eternity, but was probably a good 10-15 minutes, I whispered, "We run on the count of three." I barely breathed, "One. Two. Three!' We spun around, and started to sprint straight down that wooded mountain. I'll never forget the sound. We went from dead quiet, to what sounded like a herd of elephants running through a bowl of potato chips! Looking back, years later, I'm sure we scared the crap out of it, but not as bad as it did us!

As soon as our feet hit the dry leaves and twigs, if there was ever any doubt, it let out the loudest, longest, most God-awful roaring, that lasted for 5 seconds or more. It was terrifying! I literally did a front flip, my feet trying to run faster than my capabilities. Plus, the angle we were running down was steep. We were so afraid it was going head us off, or snatch us in the dried up creek bed below. We ran straight through walls of thickets and thorns, sliding over 15 foot drop offs, etc. We were literally a bloody mess when we finally got home. My sister had lost my mom's watch and a shoe. I lost my machete and a few other things.

As soon as we realized we were safe, the shock set in. She started throwing up, I started crying. We were both white as ghosts. My older brothers believed us, got guns, and went back up there. Sadly, I refused to go back in the woods for many years after that incident. My brothers said it was very easy to track us, since it looked like a freight train had rolled down the mountain, breaking trees, and brush. They found her shoe and watch. They also asked why did we run right through all those briars, etc., when there was a path right around them? We didn't take the time to look for any easier path. We went straight down in order to get out of there!"

-a unidentified Reddit user

[crabbyyy]

if zootopia had a gag reel

Flash: ...9...

Judy: THD03.

Flash: ...T...

Judy: HD03.

Flash: ...H... *his gadget crashes* ...this...is...the...third...time...this...happened...

Judy: *groans* I need more coffee for this scene...

-----

Gideon: Baa, baa, whaddya gonna do, cry?

Judy: Hey! You heard-- *her police cap slips completely over her head and she trips and falls over*

Gideon: ...Y'all, we'd better help her out before she actually does cry.

----

*shortly after Mr. Manchas started going feral*

Judy: ...Mr. Manchas...?

*they open the door, finding that his tail was caught between his floorboards and he was desperately trying to get it out*

Mr. Manchas: ...It happened again, I know!

Nick: ...I don't know what I expected.

------

Nick: ...Carrots. You saved my life.

Judy: Well, that's what we do at ZPD--EEEEEYAGH--

*they start falling, but the vines had been long enough that they were cocooned and still hit the ground with a loud thud*

Bogo: *rushes towards them* That--wasn't part of your act, right?

Nick: *visibly dazed* I'm seeing quick brown foxes jumping over rabbits...

-----

Nick: *starts petting Bellwether's head* So fluffy-- *accidentally rips off a huge chunk of her wool*

Bellwether: ...Still typing here. Totally not noticing you just did that.

----

Bogo: ...You're fired.

Judy: What? Why?

Bogo: Insubordination!

Judy: *holds back laughter* S-sorry--I just can't--the word "insubordination" is just too funny--

Bogo: *looks at the camera* This is the fifteenth take. I cannot work like this--I'll be in my trailer--

------

Judy: No, I am a cop. And I'm on the Emmitt Otterton case, and my evidence puts him in your car. So intimidate me all you want, I'm going to-- *sneezes at Mr. Big*

Mr. Big: ...It's all right. Many an animal gets the sniffles here.

-----

Judy: ...I don't deserve to wear this badge.

Bogo: Hopps.

Bellwether: Judy-- *forgets her lines*

Bogo: Bellwether.

Judy: Bogo.

Bellwether: Judy.

Nick: *offscreen* Nick!

-----

Nick: Look, you gave her a--a clown vest and joke mobile and two--two--two uh, what--yeah, no, sorry, I think I'm the one who needs that clown vest and joke mobile. *pokes his own nose* Honk honk.

------

*Judy's train into Zootopia breaks down multiple times in the middle of its journey.*

Judy: *as the train breaks down in the middle of the polar region* Well, at least I can always stop by for some ice cream.

Judy: *as the train breaks down in the middle of the desert region* At least I can sunbathe here.

Judy: *as the train breaks down in the middle of the rainforest area* Wait, we're filming Mr. Manchas' part already?

------

Clawhauser: *sipping loudly on his soda while Judy looks at the case file*

Judy: *is trying to hold back laughter*

Clawhauser: *unexpectedly burps really loudly* S-sorry, I didn't mean to do that--

Judy: *falls off her chair, laughing*

-------

Bucky: Hey buddy, turn down the depressing music!

Judy: *turns off her alarm clock*

Pronk: Leave the meter man alone! Didn't you hear the conversation? She feels like a failure!

Bucky: Oh, shut up!

Pronk: You shut up!

Bucky: You shut up!

Pronk: You shut up!

*they suddenly belt out Black Eyed Peas*

Bucky and Pronk: Shut up, just shut up, shut up--shut it up, just shut up, shut up--

Judy: *looks at the camera* Tomorrow's another day. Cut!

-----

Finnick: *from underneath the stroller* She hustled you-- *realizes his voice is actually high and pitchy* Wait--what--Nick, what did you do--

Nick: A little helium in your trailer, friend. Besides, you gotta be real convincing as a baby, don't you?

-------

Bogo: Two days to find the otter. Or you quit. That was the deal. Badge.

Judy: *is snickering*

Bogo: What now?

Judy: I-I'm sorry--I thought you said "baa". Like, baa baa Bogo, have you any wool? *falls in laughter*

Bogo: ...Excuse me while I actually facepalm here for a bit.

------

Nick: All right, get in here. *steps back a bit as Judy goes in for the hug*

Judy: *lunges in for the hug and finds nothing, then falls on her face*

Nick: Sorry, just had t'get that out. *picks her up and actually hugs her* See, this is why we work so well. She knows my jokester side too well and just goes with it.

Judy: *muffled chuckling* ...I'm gonna fill your trailer with helium later, I swear.

-----

*while on the cable car*

Judy: ...Thank you.

Nick: *humming* What can I say, except "you're welcome?"

Judy: *chuckles* Should've never showed you that movie before filming. You've been humming it for days now.

-----

Judy: What are you gonna do? Kill me?

Bellwether: *chuckles* Of course not. He is. *pulls out a water pistol and splashes Nick's face* Wha--

Nick: *falls over, laughing* S-sorry, it was too easy--switching your gun to a water pistol--

Bellwether: *looks at the camera* Cue to Nick not being able to find where he hid the actual thing.

-----

Scientist: Mayor Lionheart, please. We're doing everything that we can.

Mayor Lionheart: Really? 'Cause I have a dozen and a half animals here who've gone off the rails--ails--ah, *stutters* Sorry, sorry, going too fast-- *chuckles* Wasn't quite my tempo back there...

------

Bogo: *playing with the Gazelle app on his phone*

Clawhauser: *bursts into the room* Chief Bogo!

Bogo: *freaks out, throwing his phone out the window*

Clawhauser: ...You got another phone, right? And you still have my number on it?

-----

*Nick and the rest of the cast are backstage, taking a selfie with Gazelle and her tigers*

Nick: All right everyone, say, "sequel"!

[skeleton-squid-b0y]

YOU FINALLY POSTED IT SO HERE ARE ALL MY FAVOURITE LYRICS! I may have gone overboard so I added a read more :)

If I Killed Someone:

The one I killed is me, Changing what I was, For what you wanted me to be, I followed your direction,Did everything you asked, I hope that makes you happy, 'Cause there's just no turning back

It Will Come Back

I know who I am when I'm alone, I'm something else when I see you, You don't understand, you should never know, How easy you are to need

That Unwanted Animal

You try so loud to love me,I cannot seem to hear

But fuck all your plans, I'm bored

And we fall into each other, the scratching grows so loud, Because that unwanted animal wants nothing more than to get out,And I scream, "What's the time, Mr. Wolf?", But you, you're blind, you bleat, you bear your claws, Oh, and you rip my ribcage open and devour what's truly yours

"Be good to me, " I beg of him, And he replies, "No, no, not I"

The Horror and The Wild

You were raised by wolves and voices, Every night I hear them howling deep beneath your bed

Joy!

How could it be possible to drown yourself in joy?

Lie down in the bath like it's a casket or a cot

I Was an Island

I was a fighter and I was so brave,But I lowered my sword when you held me and swore, You'd stay, stay, stay

The Old Witch Sleep and the Good Man Grace

King (this one has stede vibes)

You're not a coward 'cause you cower, You're brave because they broke you, Yet broken still you breathe, So breathe, breathe, just breathe

'Cause I've been here so many times before, Don't you think I look pretty, Curled up on this bathroom floor? But where you see weakness I see wit, Sometimes I fall to pieces, Just to see what bits of me don't fit, 'Cause I when I stand oh those folks will run, And tell the tales of what I've become, They'll speak of me, oh in whispered tones, And say my name like it shakes their bones, 'Cause we'll dance together so close we're sharing breath, But now I'm leading, doesn't that just scare you to death? This one makes me fucking feral

I’ll keep the king, I’ll keep him from drowning, As our boat is untethered from the dock

Between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea

Oh, you'll find me, between, The devil and the deep blue sea, And I'm going under, I'm coming up for air, Come and share my last breath, Save it for a time when I'm here no more

The Chain

Running in the shadows, damn your love, damn your lies

And if you don't love me now, You will never love me again, I can still hear you saying, You would never break the chain 

Ship in a Bottle

Oh, captain, let's make a deal, Where we both say the things that we both really feel, I feel scared and I'm starting to sink, And I only sink deeper the deeper I think

You set sail alone, there is no crew, No one on the deck who can help you, This is all your own battle to win, This is your ship and you are the captain

Oh, captain, make up your mind, Before the salt burns your eyes and you run out of time, 'Cause you're popping the cork, you get lost in your brain, And you lose touch with all the things that made you feel sane

Talk

Before he feels alone, One final time, And marries the sea, Imagine being loved by me

I won't deny I've got in my mind now all the things we'd do, So I'll try to talk refined for fear that you find out how I'm imaginin' you

Sex

And now we're sinking, But I can't find it in myself to want to lie to keep this thing from going down

And what's good, When both choices I've got have us staring down the barrel to the bullets I can't stop? And so I stand off, Like indecision's Kevlar, 'Til this fear of feeling stops and I'm done, But you, No, I don't know how to forget you

Battle Cries

But we sunk into water no creature can know, You dragged us both into the darkness that grows, Our devils broke rank and out of the depths came an army I won't let you turn our last night into this (Leave without a fight)

But that breathing you hear, don't mistake it for sighs, Don't you realise they're just battle cries, dear?

Half Light

It makes me feel nervous, You have that look in your eye, Oh, what takes over? What is it that holds you tight?

When you're in the half light, It is not you I see, And you live a half life, You only show half to me

Abandon Ship

Everyone's on board, The richest and the poor, All these lonely kids, Have so much left to live for, So we'll run to the sea, And find no captain waiting, For we're all that we need, To keep this boat from sinking

Fair

It's what my heart just yearns to say, In ways that can't be said, It's what my rotting bones will sing, When the rest of me is dead

And he, he curses at the world, For leaving him behind, and he's falling out of touch

"I've seen enough, " he says, "I know exactly what I want", And it's this life that we've created, Inundated with the fated thought of you, And if you asked me to, if you asked me, I would lose it all, Like petals in a storm

"It's not fair, oh, it's not fair how much I love you It's not fair, 'cause you make me ache, you bastard" And he'll say, "Oh, how, oh, how unreasonable, How unreasonably in love I am with everything you do"

The Night We Met

And then I can tell myself, What the hell I'm supposed to do, And then I can tell myself, Not to ride along with you, I had all and then most of you, Some and now none of you, Take me back to the night we met, I don't know what I'm supposed to do, Haunted by the ghost of you, Oh, take me back to the night we met

Constant Headache

But I'm a constant headache, a tooth out of line, They try to make you regret it, You hang me up unfinished, With the better part of me no longer mine

Your love was foreign to me, It made me think maybe human's not such a bad thing to be, But I just laid there in protest, entirely fucked, It's such a stubborn reminder one perfect night's not enough

Native Tongue

 I found out I’m a sentimental dog who comes around, But don’t belong, Someone take me home

Neptune

You let me set sail with cheap wood, So I patched up every leak that I could 'Til the blame grew too heavy

If brokenness is a work of art, Surely this must be my masterpiece

I'm only honest when it rains, If I time it right, the thunder breaks, When I open my mouth, I wanna love you but I don't know how

These wild oceans shake what's left of me loose, Just to hear me cry mercy

Scary Love

Your love is scaring me, No one has ever cared for me, As much as you do

If we fall apart, maybe it wasn't meant to be, If we fall apart, it was our favourite dream

hm new media to obsess over, you know what the means :))

songs that remind you of blackbeard? <3

[thereaderstea]

Hybrid au + Zombie au

Note: this idea came from a conversation with my fellow army friend, nani. we were talking about hybrids but I was also feeling zombie apocalypse feels and we grew this!

it may seem like a cop out in the zombie apocalypse but! if we bred the power dynamics in a hybrid au with the anarchy and power dynamics in a zombie apocalypse then i think we'd get some interesting results. for instance, fighting rings: instead of hybrids v hybrids, it’s hybrids v zombies.

q&a between me and nani:

tor: it would be fun to see a hybrid's prey instincts: would they attack a zombie? would it trigger their prey instincts? what about hybrid zombies? are they different from human zombies? could the hybrid zombies then activate the prey instinct, but the human zombies wouldn’t activate?

nani: maybe since zombies are dead they wouldn't trigger it

[...]

tor: would hybrid zombies be more animalistic? could they shift as a zombie or are they stuck in whatever form they were in when they died?

nani: like rabids. they lose the humanity aspect and turn feral

[...]

tor: maybe the hybrids are the ones who can transfer the virus to their respective animal species? because not all viruses that affect humans affect other species, but hybrids could be that gateway

Hybrid au + Special Interest

hybrid au where the human likes a certain species of animal, but a hybrid who chooses them as their human is a different species (for instance, a dog hybrid who chooses a human who likes cats). perhaps the human isn’t too fond of the species as the regular animal (for instance, a cat person may think dogs are too loud and energetic or a dog person may think cats are apathetic and aloof).

this could create a miscommunication plot, insecurity in the hybrid, and tension between the two.

Soulmate au + Parallel Universes

a soulmate au where the soulmates are spread across different universes. either they have to find a way to the same universe or they remain in their universes forever mentally and spiritually connected but physically apart as they live out their lives.

alternatively, every universe has a para of one person (i.e. there is a person A in all the universes but each person A is different). two people in one universe can be soulmates, but those same two may not be soulmates in another universe. what happens when these two universes collide? when the soulmates, person A and person B, are in separated in two universes with the other person A and person B are not their soulmate?

in a group of soulmates, they may venture universes to join together in one universe. However, one of the soulmates had believed somebody from their universe was their soulmate; they love and are attached to this supposed soulmate and thus refuses to join the group of soulmates. does the group of soulmates move on without one of their soulmates or follow the soulmate to their universe in hopes to convince them or settle with being near them but just out of reach?

Librarian au / Book Shop au

a librarian or bookstore keeper who writes lil notes in their favorite books, sharing their thoughts and reactions at certain scenes. no patron has mentioned the notes to them before and they’ve long since expected someone to mention it. in the librarian case, when someone returns the book, the librarian will check the pages before returning it on the shelf but the note is always gone and no one has written back...until one of the patrons builds up the courage.

the anonymous note passes may build up to encouraging words, poems, small questions, nothing that would identify the two note passers. They either build their relationship to the point that they plan to meet each other, or the notes start to dwindle until they fully stop and the two note passers never meet, never identify each other, and will never know each other more than the notes they shared.

Kitchen Scenarios

a master chef and someone who is banned from the kitchen are tasked with creating a bunch of food for an event (e.g. bday party, graduation party, summer bbq, wedding, etc.)

alternatively, there are two groups who engage in a food competition against each other. some members are master chefs and others are in the ‘banned from the kitchen’ category. The two competing groups could be master chefs v banned from the kitchen or a collage in both groups.

possible antics to ensue:

random unnecessary fire alarm + trigger happy fire extinguisher person

whip cream trick shot competition = whip cream all over the floor = someone is slipping on the whip cream when they inevitably chase someone else

the ‘let’s throw spaghetti at the fridge to see if it’s done’ fiasco

who gets to lick the spoon? + the one who will lick the spoon and everyone’s whip creamed faces

pesky bread stealing goose

Misadventures of Two Familiars

a slow burn e2f of two familiars who go on an adventure to find their missing witch. in my head, the pairing is akin to lethargic grumpy x crack sunshine and both are incredibly clueless with finding their witch, but this could work with other pairings as well!

plot twist: they’re both melodramatic and forget easily because the witch was having a sleepover at their friends for the weekend (or some equivalent)

Circus au / The Greatest Showman au

note: nani was watching the greatest showman and so we were chatting about the possibilities, but i’ll share just what i generated because she has something in the works with her ideas.

a circus au with a war between two groups. so, half of the members were part of one small circus, the other half to another, but the manager(s) of the two shows decided to put them together bc they were too small to be worth anything (it's either they converge or they're shut down) but! they're two drastically different shows, they don't mesh, and they're always messing up when they practice together

so it could be an e2f (or e2f2l, however you wish) and through the fic they have to resolve their tension with each other, grow into one big family and put their shows together. lots of strife, banter, PRANKS, war stuff, and of course that one moment when they hate each other but when someone outside of the team says something mean they all gang up on said person and protect the member/team...but of course, they still hate each other

but heck once they resolve tensions? they've got the best show in the whole country and they just keep rising higher and higher...

also, side theme: there’s a pesky goose that is so troublesome (but harmless) to the circus that it's a common for the random goose to be lurking around a corner ready to steal bread or mess something up

Pairings

immortal x historian

mind reader x person with intrusive thoughts

colorblind x synesthesia

flirty asexual x socially awkward pansexual (not my idea but i’m patiently waiting for the day this pairing exists)

“i have a great sense of direction! :D” *gets lost* x melodramatic “we’re lost, which means we’ll starve and die alone! and they’ll never find our bodies 😰”

Fic Titles/Random Lines

before the stars

if love was forever // if we were forever

dreaming lies with you

if i could love you // i would love you

loving you was hopeless

the last time i saw the stars

our love was not written in the stars // do you think we could love anyway?

maybe one day

shot of truth // drown it out

annoyed at first sight

it’ll be fun, they said

you’ll find someone, they said

wait until you get into the real world, they said

i think i could love you // i almost loved you // maybe it was love

meet me in the stars

~*~

for you, mea mellilla 💜 @tae-cup-main / @tae-cup​

with love, tor-mon 🖤

TOR-MON. IT. HAS. BEEN. TOO. LONG!!!! How are you?!!! I'm working on an original book now, but I'm also having trouble thinking about what I should continue writing on here? Do you have suggestions? I love you and I hope you're doing well!

mellilla!!! merry meet!! it feels like forever!!! 😩 too long indeed! i'm sorry for replying so late, i've been drifting/lost in my head a lot lately, but i feel rather grounded today and i've been enjoying the summer shade and light breeze these past couple of days ☺ (though i could do with a little less sun and heat 😅). how about you, mellilla? school and pesky testing treat you well? the weather sunshiney and bright? or mellow and rainy? i hope you're hydrated, happy, and healthy!

an og book!? heck yeah! that's so exciting, mellilla!! keep me posted, yeah? i'd love to hear about it all, whatever you're comfortable with sharing and whenever you're ready. if you ever need help, support, or motivation, i'm here for you, mellilla! i will support you all the way! i will hype you up! just lmk and i'll help in any way i can, even if you just need an ear, i've gotchu 🖤 also, lmk when it drops so i can wait on line and snag the first copy!

re: suggestions, i'd love to help you out! let's chat, yeah? ☺ we'll find that spark!

blessed be, mellilla! i love you and miss you!!! sending you all my love💜🖤💜

your lifelong stan,

tor-mon 🖤

[saltyfloofball]

if zootopia had a gag reel

Flash: ...9...

Judy: THD03.

Flash: ...T...

Judy: HD03.

Flash: ...H... *his gadget crashes* ...this...is...the...third...time...this...happened...

Judy: *groans* I need more coffee for this scene...

-----

Gideon: Baa, baa, whaddya gonna do, cry?

Judy: Hey! You heard-- *her police cap slips completely over her head and she trips and falls over*

Gideon: ...Y'all, we'd better help her out before she actually does cry.

----

*shortly after Mr. Manchas started going feral*

Judy: ...Mr. Manchas...?

*they open the door, finding that his tail was caught between his floorboards and he was desperately trying to get it out*

Mr. Manchas: ...It happened again, I know!

Nick: ...I don't know what I expected.

------

Nick: ...Carrots. You saved my life.

Judy: Well, that's what we do at ZPD--EEEEEYAGH--

*they start falling, but the vines had been long enough that they were cocooned and still hit the ground with a loud thud*

Bogo: *rushes towards them* That--wasn't part of your act, right?

Nick: *visibly dazed* I'm seeing quick brown foxes jumping over rabbits...

-----

Nick: *starts petting Bellwether's head* So fluffy-- *accidentally rips off a huge chunk of her wool*

Bellwether: ...Still typing here. Totally not noticing you just did that.

----

Bogo: ...You're fired.

Judy: What? Why?

Bogo: Insubordination!

Judy: *holds back laughter* S-sorry--I just can't--the word "insubordination" is just too funny--

Bogo: *looks at the camera* This is the fifteenth take. I cannot work like this--I'll be in my trailer--

------

Judy: No, I am a cop. And I'm on the Emmitt Otterton case, and my evidence puts him in your car. So intimidate me all you want, I'm going to-- *sneezes at Mr. Big*

Mr. Big: ...It's all right. Many an animal gets the sniffles here.

-----

Judy: ...I don't deserve to wear this badge.

Bogo: Hopps.

Bellwether: Judy-- *forgets her lines*

Bogo: Bellwether.

Judy: Bogo.

Bellwether: Judy.

Nick: *offscreen* Nick!

-----

Nick: Look, you gave her a--a clown vest and joke mobile and two--two--two uh, what--yeah, no, sorry, I think I'm the one who needs that clown vest and joke mobile. *pokes his own nose* Honk honk.

------

*Judy's train into Zootopia breaks down multiple times in the middle of its journey.*

Judy: *as the train breaks down in the middle of the polar region* Well, at least I can always stop by for some ice cream.

Judy: *as the train breaks down in the middle of the desert region* At least I can sunbathe here.

Judy: *as the train breaks down in the middle of the rainforest area* Wait, we're filming Mr. Manchas' part already?

------

Clawhauser: *sipping loudly on his soda while Judy looks at the case file*

Judy: *is trying to hold back laughter*

Clawhauser: *unexpectedly burps really loudly* S-sorry, I didn't mean to do that--

Judy: *falls off her chair, laughing*

-------

Bucky: Hey buddy, turn down the depressing music!

Judy: *turns off her alarm clock*

Pronk: Leave the meter man alone! Didn't you hear the conversation? She feels like a failure!

Bucky: Oh, shut up!

Pronk: You shut up!

Bucky: You shut up!

Pronk: You shut up!

*they suddenly belt out Black Eyed Peas*

Bucky and Pronk: Shut up, just shut up, shut up--shut it up, just shut up, shut up--

Judy: *looks at the camera* Tomorrow's another day. Cut!

-----

Finnick: *from underneath the stroller* She hustled you-- *realizes his voice is actually high and pitchy* Wait--what--Nick, what did you do--

Nick: A little helium in your trailer, friend. Besides, you gotta be real convincing as a baby, don't you?

-------

Bogo: Two days to find the otter. Or you quit. That was the deal. Badge.

Judy: *is snickering*

Bogo: What now?

Judy: I-I'm sorry--I thought you said "baa". Like, baa baa Bogo, have you any wool? *falls in laughter*

Bogo: ...Excuse me while I actually facepalm here for a bit.

------

Nick: All right, get in here. *steps back a bit as Judy goes in for the hug*

Judy: *lunges in for the hug and finds nothing, then falls on her face*

Nick: Sorry, just had t'get that out. *picks her up and actually hugs her* See, this is why we work so well. She knows my jokester side too well and just goes with it.

Judy: *muffled chuckling* ...I'm gonna fill your trailer with helium later, I swear.

-----

*while on the cable car*

Judy: ...Thank you.

Nick: *humming* What can I say, except "you're welcome?"

Judy: *chuckles* Should've never showed you that movie before filming. You've been humming it for days now.

-----

Judy: What are you gonna do? Kill me?

Bellwether: *chuckles* Of course not. He is. *pulls out a water pistol and splashes Nick's face* Wha--

Nick: *falls over, laughing* S-sorry, it was too easy--switching your gun to a water pistol--

Bellwether: *looks at the camera* Cue to Nick not being able to find where he hid the actual thing.

-----

Scientist: Mayor Lionheart, please. We're doing everything that we can.

Mayor Lionheart: Really? 'Cause I have a dozen and a half animals here who've gone off the rails--ails--ah, *stutters* Sorry, sorry, going too fast-- *chuckles* Wasn't quite my tempo back there...

------

Bogo: *playing with the Gazelle app on his phone*

Clawhauser: *bursts into the room* Chief Bogo!

Bogo: *freaks out, throwing his phone out the window*

Clawhauser: ...You got another phone, right? And you still have my number on it?

-----

*Nick and the rest of the cast are backstage, taking a selfie with Gazelle and her tigers*

Nick: All right everyone, say, "sequel"!

XD!!!

Nivk: from back stage: Nick!

[jamesed97]

if zootopia had a gag reel

Flash: ...9...

Judy: THD03.

Flash: ...T...

Judy: HD03.

Flash: ...H... *his gadget crashes* ...this...is...the...third...time...this...happened...

Judy: *groans* I need more coffee for this scene...

-----

Gideon: Baa, baa, whaddya gonna do, cry?

Judy: Hey! You heard-- *her police cap slips completely over her head and she trips and falls over*

Gideon: ...Y'all, we'd better help her out before she actually does cry.

----

*shortly after Mr. Manchas started going feral*

Judy: ...Mr. Manchas...?

*they open the door, finding that his tail was caught between his floorboards and he was desperately trying to get it out*

Mr. Manchas: ...It happened again, I know!

Nick: ...I don't know what I expected.

------

Nick: ...Carrots. You saved my life.

Judy: Well, that's what we do at ZPD--EEEEEYAGH--

*they start falling, but the vines had been long enough that they were cocooned and still hit the ground with a loud thud*

Bogo: *rushes towards them* That--wasn't part of your act, right?

Nick: *visibly dazed* I'm seeing quick brown foxes jumping over rabbits...

-----

Nick: *starts petting Bellwether's head* So fluffy-- *accidentally rips off a huge chunk of her wool*

Bellwether: ...Still typing here. Totally not noticing you just did that.

----

Bogo: ...You're fired.

Judy: What? Why?

Bogo: Insubordination!

Judy: *holds back laughter* S-sorry--I just can't--the word "insubordination" is just too funny--

Bogo: *looks at the camera* This is the fifteenth take. I cannot work like this--I'll be in my trailer--

------

Judy: No, I am a cop. And I'm on the Emmitt Otterton case, and my evidence puts him in your car. So intimidate me all you want, I'm going to-- *sneezes at Mr. Big*

Mr. Big: ...It's all right. Many an animal gets the sniffles here.

-----

Judy: ...I don't deserve to wear this badge.

Bogo: Hopps.

Bellwether: Judy-- *forgets her lines*

Bogo: Bellwether.

Judy: Bogo.

Bellwether: Judy.

Nick: *offscreen* Nick!

-----

Nick: Look, you gave her a--a clown vest and joke mobile and two--two--two uh, what--yeah, no, sorry, I think I'm the one who needs that clown vest and joke mobile. *pokes his own nose* Honk honk.

------

*Judy's train into Zootopia breaks down multiple times in the middle of its journey.*

Judy: *as the train breaks down in the middle of the polar region* Well, at least I can always stop by for some ice cream.

Judy: *as the train breaks down in the middle of the desert region* At least I can sunbathe here.

Judy: *as the train breaks down in the middle of the rainforest area* Wait, we're filming Mr. Manchas' part already?

------

Clawhauser: *sipping loudly on his soda while Judy looks at the case file*

Judy: *is trying to hold back laughter*

Clawhauser: *unexpectedly burps really loudly* S-sorry, I didn't mean to do that--

Judy: *falls off her chair, laughing*

-------

Bucky: Hey buddy, turn down the depressing music!

Judy: *turns off her alarm clock*

Pronk: Leave the meter man alone! Didn't you hear the conversation? She feels like a failure!

Bucky: Oh, shut up!

Pronk: You shut up!

Bucky: You shut up!

Pronk: You shut up!

*they suddenly belt out Black Eyed Peas*

Bucky and Pronk: Shut up, just shut up, shut up--shut it up, just shut up, shut up--

Judy: *looks at the camera* Tomorrow's another day. Cut!

-----

Finnick: *from underneath the stroller* She hustled you-- *realizes his voice is actually high and pitchy* Wait--what--Nick, what did you do--

Nick: A little helium in your trailer, friend. Besides, you gotta be real convincing as a baby, don't you?

-------

Bogo: Two days to find the otter. Or you quit. That was the deal. Badge.

Judy: *is snickering*

Bogo: What now?

Judy: I-I'm sorry--I thought you said "baa". Like, baa baa Bogo, have you any wool? *falls in laughter*

Bogo: ...Excuse me while I actually facepalm here for a bit.

------

Nick: All right, get in here. *steps back a bit as Judy goes in for the hug*

Judy: *lunges in for the hug and finds nothing, then falls on her face*

Nick: Sorry, just had t'get that out. *picks her up and actually hugs her* See, this is why we work so well. She knows my jokester side too well and just goes with it.

Judy: *muffled chuckling* ...I'm gonna fill your trailer with helium later, I swear.

-----

*while on the cable car*

Judy: ...Thank you.

Nick: *humming* What can I say, except "you're welcome?"

Judy: *chuckles* Should've never showed you that movie before filming. You've been humming it for days now.

-----

Judy: What are you gonna do? Kill me?

Bellwether: *chuckles* Of course not. He is. *pulls out a water pistol and splashes Nick's face* Wha--

Nick: *falls over, laughing* S-sorry, it was too easy--switching your gun to a water pistol--

Bellwether: *looks at the camera* Cue to Nick not being able to find where he hid the actual thing.

-----

Scientist: Mayor Lionheart, please. We're doing everything that we can.

Mayor Lionheart: Really? 'Cause I have a dozen and a half animals here who've gone off the rails--ails--ah, *stutters* Sorry, sorry, going too fast-- *chuckles* Wasn't quite my tempo back there...

------

Bogo: *playing with the Gazelle app on his phone*

Clawhauser: *bursts into the room* Chief Bogo!

Bogo: *freaks out, throwing his phone out the window*

Clawhauser: ...You got another phone, right? And you still have my number on it?

-----

*Nick and the rest of the cast are backstage, taking a selfie with Gazelle and her tigers*

Nick: All right everyone, say, "sequel"!

I need to reblog this, always makes my day!

[rockhoppr3]

if zootopia had a gag reel

Flash: ...9...

Judy: THD03.

Flash: ...T...

Judy: HD03.

Flash: ...H... *his gadget crashes* ...this...is...the...third...time...this...happened...

Judy: *groans* I need more coffee for this scene...

-----

Gideon: Baa, baa, whaddya gonna do, cry?

Judy: Hey! You heard-- *her police cap slips completely over her head and she trips and falls over*

Gideon: ...Y'all, we'd better help her out before she actually does cry.

----

*shortly after Mr. Manchas started going feral*

Judy: ...Mr. Manchas...?

*they open the door, finding that his tail was caught between his floorboards and he was desperately trying to get it out*

Mr. Manchas: ...It happened again, I know!

Nick: ...I don't know what I expected.

------

Nick: ...Carrots. You saved my life.

Judy: Well, that's what we do at ZPD--EEEEEYAGH--

*they start falling, but the vines had been long enough that they were cocooned and still hit the ground with a loud thud*

Bogo: *rushes towards them* That--wasn't part of your act, right?

Nick: *visibly dazed* I'm seeing quick brown foxes jumping over rabbits...

-----

Nick: *starts petting Bellwether's head* So fluffy-- *accidentally rips off a huge chunk of her wool*

Bellwether: ...Still typing here. Totally not noticing you just did that.

----

Bogo: ...You're fired.

Judy: What? Why?

Bogo: Insubordination!

Judy: *holds back laughter* S-sorry--I just can't--the word "insubordination" is just too funny--

Bogo: *looks at the camera* This is the fifteenth take. I cannot work like this--I'll be in my trailer--

------

Judy: No, I am a cop. And I'm on the Emmitt Otterton case, and my evidence puts him in your car. So intimidate me all you want, I'm going to-- *sneezes at Mr. Big*

Mr. Big: ...It's all right. Many an animal gets the sniffles here.

-----

Judy: ...I don't deserve to wear this badge.

Bogo: Hopps.

Bellwether: Judy-- *forgets her lines*

Bogo: Bellwether.

Judy: Bogo.

Bellwether: Judy.

Nick: *offscreen* Nick!

-----

Nick: Look, you gave her a--a clown vest and joke mobile and two--two--two uh, what--yeah, no, sorry, I think I'm the one who needs that clown vest and joke mobile. *pokes his own nose* Honk honk.

------

*Judy's train into Zootopia breaks down multiple times in the middle of its journey.*

Judy: *as the train breaks down in the middle of the polar region* Well, at least I can always stop by for some ice cream.

Judy: *as the train breaks down in the middle of the desert region* At least I can sunbathe here.

Judy: *as the train breaks down in the middle of the rainforest area* Wait, we're filming Mr. Manchas' part already?

------

Clawhauser: *sipping loudly on his soda while Judy looks at the case file*

Judy: *is trying to hold back laughter*

Clawhauser: *unexpectedly burps really loudly* S-sorry, I didn't mean to do that--

Judy: *falls off her chair, laughing*

-------

Bucky: Hey buddy, turn down the depressing music!

Judy: *turns off her alarm clock*

Pronk: Leave the meter man alone! Didn't you hear the conversation? She feels like a failure!

Bucky: Oh, shut up!

Pronk: You shut up!

Bucky: You shut up!

Pronk: You shut up!

*they suddenly belt out Black Eyed Peas*

Bucky and Pronk: Shut up, just shut up, shut up--shut it up, just shut up, shut up--

Judy: *looks at the camera* Tomorrow's another day. Cut!

-----

Finnick: *from underneath the stroller* She hustled you-- *realizes his voice is actually high and pitchy* Wait--what--Nick, what did you do--

Nick: A little helium in your trailer, friend. Besides, you gotta be real convincing as a baby, don't you?

-------

Bogo: Two days to find the otter. Or you quit. That was the deal. Badge.

Judy: *is snickering*

Bogo: What now?

Judy: I-I'm sorry--I thought you said "baa". Like, baa baa Bogo, have you any wool? *falls in laughter*

Bogo: ...Excuse me while I actually facepalm here for a bit.

------

Nick: All right, get in here. *steps back a bit as Judy goes in for the hug*

Judy: *lunges in for the hug and finds nothing, then falls on her face*

Nick: Sorry, just had t'get that out. *picks her up and actually hugs her* See, this is why we work so well. She knows my jokester side too well and just goes with it.

Judy: *muffled chuckling* ...I'm gonna fill your trailer with helium later, I swear.

-----

*while on the cable car*

Judy: ...Thank you.

Nick: *humming* What can I say, except "you're welcome?"

Judy: *chuckles* Should've never showed you that movie before filming. You've been humming it for days now.

-----

Judy: What are you gonna do? Kill me?

Bellwether: *chuckles* Of course not. He is. *pulls out a water pistol and splashes Nick's face* Wha--

Nick: *falls over, laughing* S-sorry, it was too easy--switching your gun to a water pistol--

Bellwether: *looks at the camera* Cue to Nick not being able to find where he hid the actual thing.

-----

Scientist: Mayor Lionheart, please. We're doing everything that we can.

Mayor Lionheart: Really? 'Cause I have a dozen and a half animals here who've gone off the rails--ails--ah, *stutters* Sorry, sorry, going too fast-- *chuckles* Wasn't quite my tempo back there...

------

Bogo: *playing with the Gazelle app on his phone*

Clawhauser: *bursts into the room* Chief Bogo!

Bogo: *freaks out, throwing his phone out the window*

Clawhauser: ...You got another phone, right? And you still have my number on it?

-----

*Nick and the rest of the cast are backstage, taking a selfie with Gazelle and her tigers*

Nick: All right everyone, say, "sequel"!

XD!!!

Nivk: from back stage: Nick!