#we’re getting into sad territory. that’s no good

[thereareeyesinsidethetrees]

remember when ae used to post like once every two weeks and now ae post about thirty times a day

[kingofpopmj]

Conscious Decision

Part 8

July 21st, 1988

*Y/N’s POV*

I felt myself sinking deeper into the mattress the longer I laid here. I couldn’t bring myself to move let alone open my eyes. I had just spent a fourth night sleeping alone after our wedding day— well what should’ve been. Now, more than ever I felt the most connected to him. I could feel his sadness, pain and fear. It felt like a malicious joke. It’s been four whole days without him, yet the hold he had on my heart and mind was stronger than ever. He had me even though I was fighting it, but that was a joke too, because I wasn’t putting up much of a fight anyway.

“Do you want to join the girls and I today? We’re going into town.” Janet jumped onto my bed, propping herself up on her elbows.

“I think I would much rather lay here all day. The sun is too bright and the birds are singing too loud. Who was that on the phone?”

“I’m glad to see you’re still as optimistic as ever. Y/N, you know who it was.” She rolled her eyes exaggeratedly, playing with the ends of her hair. “Come on. You can’t stay in the room another day. You have to get out. Come with us, it’ll be fun!”

“The phone has been ringing nonstop for hours. That was all him?”

“Yes. Can we change the subject now?”

“What did he say?” I rolled onto my side, staring at her impatiently.

“Okay, we’re still on this. This isn’t a good idea. I don’t think me telling you everything that little twerp said will help.”

“It’s that bad?”

“No. I mean it’s the usual, he wants me to tell you all this mushy stuff and he’s asking when he can see you. He doesn’t sound too good.”

“I miss him.”

“I know.”

“I’m just so mad at him.” I huffed, sitting up and crossing my legs. I didn’t want to go on like this much longer. I don’t want to be angry anymore.

“I know.”

“I love him.” I let out a deep breath, trying to fight the urge to cry again.

“Yeah, no shit.” Janet rolled her eyes and for the first time in days I laughed with her. A genuine laugh and it felt amazing.

“You’re so annoying.”

“Do you want to see him?” She crossed her arms, staring at me with a weird look on her face.

“Yes, but I don’t know if I should want to see him.”

“Do you want to know what I think?”

“That depends. Is it mean?”

“No! I’m never mean!” She flung her legs to hang off the side of the bed, exhaling dramatic as ever, “We all know this isn’t the end. What he did was— he’s an ass for doing it, but he hasn’t really had the chance to explain. I mean no damn explanation will ever make up for it— he’s still an idiot, but maybe it’ll give you the necessary closure to move forward together or move on separately. You guys are going to move on from this one way or another, because even though my brother is king of the fools and doesn’t deserve you— I mean seriously you’re so out of his league he’s lucky you even look his way. I swear the fucking nerve. You’re the whole damn package and he ain’t shit— he’s lucky he met you when you were kids. He had years to soften you up. Now, you see his goofiness as endearing, instead of what it truly is. A big ass red flag!” She took a deep breath, before going on. “Anyways, for some insane reason he won you over. You love him. And as much as I hate him right now, I have to cut his the tiniest shred of slack. Michael doesn’t have much— well any experience with relationships, he’s never tried to understand them for anyone but you. It’s unknown territory. He’s never cared enough about a person to explore a relationship. No one measured up because there is only one you. You’ve had his heart since the beginning— his stupid little heart. In his mind, the definition of love is you. Love equals Y/N. That’s the only way it’s comprehensible to him— the only way it’s real in his eyes. Besides this, he’s done a decent job being your guy— I mean this was a huge deal, it was your fucking wedding, so maybe that erases all the things he did right. I’m not sure. I haven’t decided yet.” She stood up, walking back and forth along the rug, her arms waving in the air as she spoke. “What I’m trying to say is, he’s got his crusty little nails dug into you and he’s not going to let go. Not without a fight and I’m telling you as his little sister, Michael can take a lot of hits. He won’t give up easily. I don’t know what he’d do if he lost you and honestly I’m hoping I don’t have to find out, but I’ll support you in whatever you decide. I believe he’s truly sorry. Maybe you’ll feel better when you hear his side. I think, if you really want to see him, you should.”

“Wow. That was the sweetest, meanest thing you’ve ever said about Michael.”

“I try.” She shrugged, giggling at her own sarcasm.

“What time are you leaving? Should I call him?”

“In an hour. Relax. That little fool will call again and when he does I’ll let him know.”

“Thank you.”

“I’ll give him a piece of my mind too just to scare him.”

“Janet.”

“I’m going to tell him you packed up and went back home.” She laughed like a hyena, jumping off the bed only to fall over. “Oh, he’d probably cry.”

“Please don’t make him cry.”

“What! You did! Why can’t I?” An uncomfortable silence followed and her expression shifted along with it. “Shit. I’m sorry that was too soon.”

“It’s okay. I just— it sucks that this is our reality.”

“It’ll take time, but this will all be worth it in the end. It’ll be—” The telephone rang loudly as we stared at each other, slowly directing our attention to the piercing noise. “I’ll get that.” She smiled, looking over at me one last time. “Are you sure?” She asked with her palm resting on the telephone.

“Yes. I’m positive.”

*Michael’s POV*

“Michael.” My younger sister’s annoying voice came from the other end.

“Hi.” Suddenly, I was very aware of how many calls I’ve made to this number, but I didn’t care enough to be embarrassed about it.

“So, what’s up?” She was teasing me, I could imagine her at this very moment, smiling deviously with her hand on her hip.

“My blood pressure. How— how is she?”

“The same as she was fifteen minutes ago.”

“Okay.”

“How are you?” Her tone changed, I could tell she was being sincere. “Brother, you can talk to me, are you okay?”

“No.” I answered honestly. “I ruined everything. I thought I knew why. I thought it was the right thing. I just wanted to protect her. I don’t know how to exist knowing that any second I could lose the one person that makes it— that gives my existence purpose.”

“Damnit Michael.” She huffed loudly.

“What? What is it?”

“I’m trying to be mad at you right now and you go say that?” I could hear her pacing as she let out a sad chuckle. “Now, you have me crying like a baby. You know what, you shouldn’t be allowed to talk. Let me be mad at you.”

“I’m sorry.”

“You’re so annoying. Always saying the perfect thing. You damn poet.”

“I’m—”

“She’s in the shower.” Janet quickly interrupted me. “She’s getting ready.”

“Oh. Well, that’s good she’s going to get out and do something. She deserves to be happy.”

“Michael, listen to me and listen carefully. Y/N is really fragile right now. She’s strong, but that doesn’t mean she’s indestructible. What happened— what you did, it messed her up. It’s triggered things in her that I don’t think she even knew existed. She’s cried so much, I didn’t know it was humanly possible to produce that many tears. You freaking jerk. Seriously, I don’t even— I love you, but damn I’m really struggling to be nice to you right now. I don’t understand why you did this, but I’m not the one you owe that explanation to. Michael, I want to help, but in order to do that I’m gonna need you to get your head out of your ass. I’ll do everything I can to help you get your girl back. Let me help you, no more stupid shit. It’s going to be difficult, but I believe it’s possible to get past this. It’s possible if you don’t go rouge again. You only get one chance with me. Brother, I promise, you so much as breathe in the wrong direction and I’ll knock you on your ass.”

“I know. I shouldn’t have done it. I’m sorry, I truly am. I wish I could do it all over again and do it right. Thanks, you saying it’s possible for us to get past this is the best thing I’ve heard in days. I’ll be good I swear, I wouldn’t want to feel the wrath of Janet.” I rolled over in bed, trying to ignore the tickle in my throat. “You should take her to The British Museum or St. Paul’s Cathedral, she’d love those. I can make a few calls and get you guys a tour guide or passes. Whatever you guys need.”

“Okay, on one condition.”

"You’re a pain in my ass. What’s the condition?"

"You should be the one to take her."

“She doesn’t want to see me. I’d ruin her day. I’ll be lucky if she ever wants to see me again.”

“Well, it’s your lucky day. Why else do you think she’s getting ready?”

“Are you being serious? Because this would be a really mean joke.” I sprung up from my previous position, kicking off the layers of covers weighing me down. “We’ve been on the phone for ten minutes and you’re just now telling me?”

“Yes.”

“She really wants to see me?” This must be what Christmas morning feels like.

“She really does.”

“She really does?”

“Yes. Okay, I have one more thing to say. Michael, I love you and I love Y/N. I love both of you so damn much, together and as individuals. You guys getting together is— it was so awesome. She’s been family for so long. We were all excited when you two finally made it work. I don’t know it just felt like, you know, like it all fell into place. Fuck, this is hard. Look, I’ll do whatever I can to lead you two back to one another, because right now it’s evident that you both want that, but I’m going to do whatever is best. So, if I get even a sliver of a feeling that Y/N doesn’t want this, no matter how much it’ll hurt, I’ll support her. If she decides at any point she needs to walk away from you, I’ll be there for her. That’s never going to change. I’ll be here for both of you, just separately.”

“I understand.”

“Okay.”

“I have to get ready. It's actually such a relief that it’ll be the three of us.” I said, the nerves were quick to take over my body as I tried to think of what to say to her. What can I say to her? Janet being there will definitely take the edge off.

“Is thirty minutes enough time for you?”

“I could get ready in five minutes with the way I’m feeling right now.”

“Good. Oh, by the way, this morning mom and the girls invited Y/N and I to go out with them. It’s a nice day to do some sightseeing, don’t you think? Yeah. Well, I’m still going with them, so it’ll just be the two of you. Y/N’s expecting you to pick her up from my room. Don’t be late! Bye!” She spoke so fast I could barely process it.

“Wait!—”

“Gotta go! Kisses!”

She giggled wickedly, hanging up on me without another word. I swear she lives to watch me squirm. I dropped the phone and watched as it hung by the wire, bouncing up and down before stopping all together. I rubbed my eyes as I got out of bed for the first time in four days. My room, that was once our room, was dark and stuffy and to my mother’s dismay I refused to let her tidy up. It looked like how I felt on the inside. I deserved to be surrounded by darkness and disarray. My body ached as I dragged my feet over to the bathroom, turning on the water and waiting for it to warm up which felt like an eternity.

My mind wandered to Y/N, stepping into the tub felt so lonely, everything felt empty without her. I never truly understood how integral she was to my life. I don’t have many friends, many people I can trust, she’s the small piece of normalcy in my life. 

“I’m not sure where you go from here, but you’re going to have to accept the fact that it’ll be without her.”

My brother’s words echoed in my head as I felt that sensation, the one that has quickly taken control of me often since that day. The one I couldn’t escape regardless of how hard I fought.

The sound of blood pounded in my ears. My heart collided against my chest with force. My hands began trembling beyond control. My vision growing more distorted, I tried to blame it on the steam from the shower, but I knew better. I had to get away. I couldn’t stay stuck in this bathroom any longer. I needed out.

I unintentionally ripped the curtain off the rod while reaching for my towel. I leaned against the cold tiled wall, fighting to fill my lungs with air. I was almost there. I can do this. All I had to do was breathe. If I held on a little longer I’d see her. I’d be with her soon if I just held it together. I can do this. The tightness in my chest, loudly told me otherwise. Shit. Quickly, stumbling over furniture to reach the phone, I dialed numbers, in the same order that I had been for the past few days. Maybe, I need to hear her voice. That’s it. That’s what I need. I just need to hear her voice and that’ll help ease my mind. That’ll help me breathe. The phone didn’t ring long and that voice filled my ears. The voice that consumed my thoughts and dreams the past four days. The voice I couldn’t function without.

“Hello?”

It’s her. It’s Y/N.

My Y/N.

*Y/N’s POV*

I lifted my purse, hanging it off of my shoulder as I contemplated which heels to wear. It was almost embarrassing how emotional it felt to see him again. As hurt as I was, I think I missed him more. I knew I missed him more. The phone rang obnoxiously, startling me, yet still, I practically danced over to it. Thankfully, Janet had already left or else I would never hear the end of it. I was confident that I’d hear his sweet voice on the other end and as much as I didn’t want to admit it out loud. I couldn’t wait.

“Hello?”

I held the phone close to my ear, waiting to hear him.

“Hello? Michael, is that you?” A deep rooted emotion began to flood my senses. One that I hadn’t felt in a long time, one that I had hoped I’d never feel again.

“Michael?” The faint sound of wheezing was the only response I got. It was all I needed.

I didn’t think twice. I didn’t say anything else. I took off in a sprint. As fast as I was moving it still felt too slow. When I reached the stairwell, the images from years ago flashed through my mind. As my hands gripped the cold steel railings, I remembered the feeling of the shattered pieces I cleaned off the floor that night. The damp remnants left on my shoulder from his tears all those years ago, causing my body to run cold at the memory.

Finally, I reached his level, running down the hall and colliding with his front door. I was so worried I forgot to slow down. My hands struggled with the zipper of my purse, so I tore it open and dumped its contents onto the floor. The small silver key called to me. I yanked it off the patterned carpet, unlocking the door and shoving it open.

I didn’t have to walk much further into the room before my eyes landed on him. Michael, curled up in a fetal position, a towel wrapped around his waist and his wet hair clinging to his face.

“Hey.” I whispered, gently touching his head. “I’m here. It’ll be okay. Everything will be okay.” I sat beside him as he pulled himself into my lap, his head resting on my thighs and I stroked his hair. “Just breathe. I’m here.”

“I— I ca— can’t.” The sadness in his voice tugged at my heart. I’d never heard it so broken before. I could tell he was scared. My presence wasn’t enough, he needed a little more.

“Focus on my voice.” I spoke calmly, lying down next to him. “Remember that night we snuck out to go camping?”

He didn’t respond, I didn’t expect him to. He had a strong hold on me as we laid close to one another. I could feel how lost he was in his thoughts. I needed to bring him back to me.

“I was so excited walking over to your house that night. I’ll never forget seeing you jump out of your bedroom window, you fell right on your butt. When you saw me, you shot up to your feet and acted like it didn’t hurt, you insisted that you were fine even though you were limping.”

This time I felt a slight nod from Michael, so I continued on.

“You brought the blankets and I brought the snacks. We had prepared all week for that night. I couldn’t wait to be with you, I wanted to stay up all night just to spend more time together. You spent four hours wrestling with the tent, because it wouldn’t stay up, you were so mad. We ended up sharing a sleeping bag and lying directly on the grass with no shelter, so we had a nice view of the sky. It worked out if you ask me, it’s the reason I love stargazing. You knew how much I loved s’mores, so you built a little fire in that empty soup can. It worked for a while too, until you—”

“It was you.” He spoke, gently interrupting my storytelling.

“Michael, we go over this every time. You kicked it.”

“Sweetheart, I love you, but you knocked it over reaching for the marshmallows.”

“Agree to disagree.” I laughed at our refusal to accept blame.

“You’re barefoot.”

“I wasn’t finished getting ready when you called. Then, I heard you, so I dropped everything and ran. I tried to get to you as fast as I could.”

“You got here at the perfect time.” He assured me, his voice was soothing as I felt his smile against my forehead. “Thank you.”

“I’m glad I could help.”

“I was so nervous that night. I used some of Jackie’s aftershave, I had Janet help me fix my hair and Latoya dressed me. That was going to be the night.”

“What do you mean?”

“I was going to tell you how I felt. How I truly felt.”

“Really?” I adjusted my head to see his face. He smiled back at me, resting his back flat on the floor and pulling me to rest on his chest.

“I had my speech memorized.” I looked down, studying the ring on my finger, all the while I felt his eyes on me. “I was going to start off by telling you what an incredible best friend you are, how beautiful, kind and loving you are. How I couldn’t imagine my life without you.”

“We were thirteen.” I whispered.

“Yeah, we were, but I already knew.” I calmly started to move away from him, but he stopped my movements. “Y/N, I love you. I always have. I can’t imagine my life without you.”

“Michael—”

“I don’t want to live my life without you.” I closed my eyes as I felt him touch my cheek, his fingers were soft and I couldn’t help but lean into his touch. Old habits die hard. “I can’t live without you.” He murmured, all my worries melted away, long enough to feel how well we fit together. The tenderness of his lips sparked a warmth in my heart and an urgent need throughout my body. Our connection grew stronger the further we went. I looked up at him, watching him settle in between my legs. He placed his hand on my denim covered thigh, inching up to unbutton my bottoms. The effect of his touch quickly shifted, unleashing a wave of anxiety rather than pleasure.

“Y/N, look at me.” Janet grabbed my shoulders, giving me no choice, but to stop avoiding reality.

“He’s really not coming.” I spoke softly, I sounded lifeless. “I can’t believe he did this. How could he do this?”

Michael lingered above me, his lips curved slightly before I felt them on my neck and that’s when it hit me.

“Where were you?” I asked him.

“It doesn’t matter. What matters is that I’m here now. And, I’m so sorry for being late.”

“You stood me up on our wedding day. I’d hope it would matter a little bit.”

I felt my body tense up as his moved against mine. Michael slowly pushed my top down my shoulder, hooking his finger underneath my bra strap. I became extremely aware of where this was going and it consumed me with panic.

I’m suffocating.

“Michael—”

“I missed hearing you say my name.”

“Michael. Wait. Stop!” I pushed him off of me harder than I intended to. It was abrupt, taking me by surprise as well. I felt like I was drowning and for the first time, Michael wasn't my life line.

“What is it? What’s wrong?”

“I can’t do this.”

“Oh?” He readjusted his towel and looked at me as if he was asking me to explain further.

“Michael, I think I need time. We can’t act like it didn’t happen.”

“Yeah.”

“I’m going to go change and get some shoes on.” I smiled at him half-heartedly, gesturing to the wet splotches now littering my outfit.

“Sorry, I dripped all over you.” He let out a soft chuckle.

“It’s alright—”

“Wait.” His hand wrapped around my wrist, keeping me from escaping the awkward tension in the air. “Nothing I say, nothing I do is ever going to fix this, is it?”

“I— I don’t know.”

“Oh.”

“I think we have a better chance than most.” I whispered, trying to ease the pain of this situation.

“Can we still spend the day together?”

“I’d really like that.”

*Michael's POV*

Y/N met me in the lobby after she had left to change her outfit. I was speechless. Wow. She looked breathtaking. A long lacy black dress hugged her curves, it had an open neckline and see through sleeves that covered her arms. I could not stop staring as she walked over to me. Although, it felt more like she was floating. Wow. She paired it with deep red heels that matched the color of her lipstick. A black hat resting on top of her head, shielding her face if she looked down just enough.

“Hi.” She stood in front of me and still I couldn’t find the words. 

“You– I– Wow. Hi.” 

“Are you okay? We can stay in if you don’t feel up to going out. I know the panic attacks are—.” She whispered with a small comforting smile.

“No. No. I just– Wow. You’re beautiful.”

“Thank you. You look very handsome yourself.” Her fingers traced the red band around my arm. “I love that you still wear these.” 

“I’ll always wear them. They remind me of you.” Y/N smiled, curling her fingers around my bicep as we exited the lobby.

The journey to the museum was uneventful. It was full of meaningless conversation and heart wrenching glances. When we arrived I did my best to look as normal as possible, instinctively, my hand rested on Y/N’s lower back, keeping her close to me. Old habits die hard. We were ushered through a side door and I was able to make arrangements, so we had a whole wing of the museum to ourselves. I knew she’d love it. I couldn’t wait to be alone with her again.

I gave Bill a subtle nod, swiftly he fell back, giving Y/N and I more privacy as we roamed. I admired the way her eyes scanned the canvas before us, the way she nibbled at her bottom lip as she tried to understand it and most importantly how close she stood to me. Our arms brushed one another, breathing in her perfume made it seem like it would all be okay.

"Thank you for bringing me here. Wow, look at this one. I love it." The deep colors of the painting in front of us, matching perfectly with her outfit. Again, I was watching her more than the art.

“I love you.”

“I lo—Me too.” She smiled sweetly, her hands clasped together in front of her as she walked over to the sculptures. I noticed how she couldn’t say those words back to me, although it hurt, I couldn’t blame her. As much as I wanted to hold her hand I knew she needed distance, but I couldn’t let her forget that I was going to fight for her.

“Y/N, I’m so in love with you. I need you to understand that.”

“Michael, I know. You’ve been reminding me all day.”

“I believe it’s nice to hear. You deserve to hear it. I enjoy reminding you.”

“Okay, that’s very sweet. Thank you.”

“I guess some people don’t enjoy professing their love like I do.” I snapped.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” She stopped walking and turned to me, her left eyebrow arched as she waited for an answer.

"It means that I've been pouring my heart out to you and the only response I get from you is 'I know' or 'thank you’. What's going on, Y/N, do you not love me anymore?"

"Jesus Michael."

"Well, what is it? What else should I do? Do you not want to be with me anymore? Do you want me to take you back to the hotel? Right now, I feel like I’m the only one trying to fix this."

"You're the one who broke it!"

"Y/N, baby—”

"Don't call me that!" She pointed at me as her bottom lip quivered. No. Please don’t cry. I can’t handle seeing you cry.

“You think I don’t know that I caused this?”

“This was a bad idea.” She shook her head, spinning on her toes and quickly walking towards the exit. “I can’t believe I thought—”

“No, it wasn’t! No! Talk to me.” I ran to catch up to her, grabbing her arms and standing in front of her.

“Michael—”

“Tell me why you’re shutting me out!”

“I don’t want to do this here.”

“Tell me!”

“Michael, stop—”

“Talk to me damnit!”

“Stop yelling at me!” Our voices bounced off the walls, I could feel the anger in her words. She hated yelling, arguing wasn’t her way. Y/N always preferred to talk things through, so I took a deep breath and spoke.

“The only way we can fix this is to talk about it. I want to fix this. I need to fix this.”

“You didn’t show up.” She said simply, her eyes not meeting mine.

“I know.” My grip on her arms loosening as I watched her contemplating what to say next.

“It felt like our wedding meant nothing to you. It didn’t matter. I didn't matter. You just vanished and you made me feel so rejected. That was the worst feeling I’ve ever experienced. I don’t understand why you did it.” Her cheeks now damp with tears as she fought to contain herself.

"I'm sorry. Y/N, I know I caused this. I know these are the consequences of what I did— I hate knowing I did this to you— It’s on me. You can’t say it— you can’t tell me you love me because I left on what should’ve been the most important day of our lives. I did that. I did it and I hate myself— I hate that you can barely look at me, but it’s my fault. I regret it with my whole heart. I should’ve shown up. I should’ve done it right. I should’ve made you my wife. I should’ve— I wish I did and I'm so sorry. I know I deserve it, I know I deserve for you to walk away for good but I’m still so afraid to lose you."

"The reason I haven't said it back isn't because I don’t love you."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that you hurt me Michael. You hurt me in a way I never thought was possible. It was an unbearable pain that I never thought I'd have to endure, especially from you. That night, I didn't want to see you ever again, I thought I hated you, but you came to see me anyway. Once I saw you I forgot about that pain, I forgot about how angry I was, because all I wanted to do was run to you. All I wanted was for you to hold me and to forget everything that happened. Once I saw you, all was forgiven and when I heard your voice I was yours again."

"That's good. Right?"

"You don't understand." She shook her head, turning away from me, but I stopped her.

"Then explain it to me. Please."

"I love you so much that I'd forgive you without an apology, without an explanation. I love you so much that I'd accept pain as long as it meant that I'd still have you. I love you so much that l'd— I love you so much that I've allowed you to string me along all our lives."

“Y/N.”

“This isn’t the first time you’ve hurt my heart.” She wrapped her arms around her waist as if to hold herself together.

“Y/N, this is the worst thing I’ve ever done, I know that, but we have both hurt each other in the past. Maybe I’ve caused you more pain, but that doesn’t negate the pain I’ve felt.“ Once the words left my lips I regretted it. She’s never hurt me.

“Well, maybe we should just walk away now, try to save our friendship before it’s too late.”

“I don’t want to go back to that. You don’t want that. I can’t. Y/N, you’re who I belong with. It has always been us.”

“I don’t know if I can handle it anymore. We couldn’t survive anymore pain. We couldn’t. Even as friends.”

“Y/N, I need you to believe me. I rather slit my wrists than cause you pain. I will never hurt you again.”

“Again.” She muttered, “It used to be I will never hurt you. Period.” She uncrossed her arms, pushing her hair behind her shoulders.

“I know.”

“Michael, I’m so afraid.”

“Of what?”

“I’m afraid of forgiving you, but I’m petrified of not forgiving you.”

“Y/N—”

“Why?” She interrupted me, her lips sucked in between her teeth. She was struggling to keep herself from falling apart in front of me.

“Why what?”

“Why didn’t you show up?”

“I— I’m not sure.”

“Michael, please, answer the question.”

“I guess there were many reasons.”

“Many?” Her voice sounded helpless as she stepped further away from me. I never knew it was possible to see someone visibly crumble until now.

“Please. Baby— I mean Y/N, please don’t cry.”

“What were the reasons?”

“I’m not answering that.”

“Then, I’m leaving.”

“Stop! Please, stop walking away from me.” I ran, blocking her path, my hands cupped her face gently. “I know you don’t want to leave. I know you don’t mean it. I know you.”

“Yeah, you know me so well.” She rolled her eyes out of frustration, lifting her chin up and away from my grasp.

“Y/N, what do I need to do?”

“Please, just explain it to me, tell me the reasons.” I shook my head, looking down at the floor. “Why not?”

“Because I’m trying to fix us, not break us.” I tried holding her hand, surprisingly she let me.

“What does this look like to you? We’re already pretty broken.”

“Exactly. I don’t—”

“I need to know why in order to move forward. I need to know, so I can let it go. I need to know so I can try to forgive you.”

“I don’t see how that will help, it’s like you want me to hurt you. All day, you’ve kept me at a distance. You’ve barely looked at me. Have you thought about how that makes me feel?”

“Are you really trying to compare standing me up on our wedding day to me trying to figure out how to forgive you?”

“Are you trying to hurt me on purpose? Is this your way of getting back at me? Getting even?”

“If you truly think I’d do something like that, plan to hurt you as a way of evening out the playing field then you don’t know me like I thought you did. If that’s what you think, then we shouldn’t even be here right now.”

“It’s not. Y/N, I know you would never do that.”

“Then why’d you say it?”

“Because I’m frustrated. I fucked up. Okay? I really fucked up. I ruined this and I’m struggling to ignore the possibility of not being able to fix it.”

“Me too.”

“At least there’s one thing we agree on.”

“Yeah, little victories.” She smiled weakly, tucking her hair behind her ear.

“It’s difficult being so close to you yet feeling so damn far away.”

“Mhm.”

“I wish I could jump on my bike and ride down to Burger Grill. Your go-to order, a big bag of fries, a milkshake with extra whipped cream and cuddles from your favorite guy. When we were kids, that used to fix everything.”

“Yeah, but we aren’t kids anymore.” She pressed her hand against her belly as she attempted to calm her breathing. “Michael, I can’t jump back in right away. I want to fix this it’s just— I feel so vulnerable. I don’t want to feel pain like that ever again. It’s nerve wracking being with you, but I’m trying. I really am. I want to be close to you but my mind won’t let me. I think— I don’t know— It’s like everything inside of me is at war. My heart hurts, but wants you, wants to forgive you. My body aches, but wants to be held by you—” I knew if I let her go on she’d end up inconsolable.

“I didn’t show up because I want you to be happy. More anything in my entire life I want the best for you. I want you to enjoy life and never have to experience anything less than pure joy. I want you to have freedom. You said you needed to know, so here it is. When I was with Frank that day, he went on this rant about how your life was going to change and I wasn’t preparing properly.”

“Okay.” She gently squeezed my hand encouraging me to go on.

“He was right. You’ll be my wife. That’s all. You won’t be able to work and I know how much you love your job. You won’t be able to make a simple trip to the grocery store or anywhere really at least not by yourself and I know how much you value your independence. You won’t have any freedom. Your privacy will be gone in an instant.”

“That’s all?”

“Well, yeah. It’s not easy. I couldn’t forgive myself if something happened to you because those damn parasites were following you. The thought of you being dragged through the mud to the extent that I am— that thought killed me.”

“You could’ve come to me. We could’ve discussed it. Michael, I would’ve understood.”

“I know.”

“Why did you think that the solution was to not show up?”

“I don’t know.”

“Why?”

“Because!” I yelled again. This is not going the way I thought it would.

“Because what!” She snatched her hand away from mine, looking back at me like I wasn’t me anymore, like I was a stranger.

“Because I knew if I showed up, I knew if I saw you— I knew that we would be married right now. I can’t think straight when it comes to you. Damnit, Y/N, I’m selfish when it comes to you. I needed to think about it. I needed more time. I know now that I shouldn’t have let Frank get in my head. I should’ve shown up and married you like we planned. I should’ve married you that day because that’s all I’ve wanted my whole life. I’ve always wanted you. I will always need you. I was so in my head that day, scared to do the wrong thing and I ended up making the worst decision. I always try to do what’s best for you. I’ve always put you first. Everything I do is for you. Believe it or not, at the time, I stayed away for you.”

“Wow. My hero.” She turned to walk away from me. Again.

“Y/N! Stop! Damnit, you can’t ask me these questions and get pissed with my answer no matter what it is! That’s not fair!”

“You know what’s not fair! This!” She held up her left hand, the engagement ring, a bitter reminder of what never was. “It’s not fair that I can’t bring myself to take this off! It’s not fair that I made my peace with everything that came with being your wife. It’s not fair that I accepted how drastic my life would change and chose to embraced it because at the end of the day we were starting our new life together. It’s not fair that you didn’t think the positives of being together outweighed the negative like I did. It’s not fair— all the reasons that made me so excited to marry you, so sure you were my person, were the same ones you used to add to your list of reasons to run. That’s not fair!”

“You’re right. Shit, you’re right.”

“That’s the thing. Michael, I don’t want to be right. I want us, together, to be right. I don’t know how to do it. I want to fix it. I just don’t know where to start.”

“Y/N—” I spoke delicately, but didn’t get to finish my thought. I was cut off by her crashing into me, her head rested on my chest, her arms reluctantly wrapping around my waist. I didn’t allow myself to be shocked for too long. I held her with all I had, rubbing her back, gently swaying her and hoping this wasn’t the last time I’d ever hold her. “I think we need more of this. It could help.”

“Mhm.” Her gentle sniffles felt like a punch to the gut. “It’s not easy keeping you at a distance.”

“I've missed you.”

“I've missed you too. So much.” Her hands moved slowly up and down my back. This was nice. “Janet’s crazy.” She muttered.

“You’re barely realizing that?”

“I guess I’m late to the party. She’s the best though. She offered to steal all your left shoes and shrink your clothes.”

“She what?” I gasped as she laughed into my chest. It felt so good to have her close and to hear her laugh again.

“I haven’t taken her up on the offer yet.”

“Yet? Wow! How kind of you. I feel so protected.” We laughed, together, wrapped up in each other’s arms. The melody of our laughter carried up to the tall ceilings of the building. We were surrounded by exquisite artwork from all over the world, yet I could not take my eyes off of her. I only wanted to admire her. My Y/N.

“I’ll always protect you.” Her tone serious and for the first time since everything went wrong, she looked back at me, her eyes as beautiful as I remember, lips parted slightly, skin glowing like the stars on a summer night. I found myself hypnotized. Carefully, I closed the space between us, becoming painfully aware of how deprived I was of her touch, desperate to taste her tongue and feel her lips.

“Michael?”

“Yes, what is it?” I asked cautiously, hoping we could live in this moment longer.

“You could never keep your lips to yourself.” She smiled, reaching down and intertwining our fingers. I sensed that she wasn’t quite comfortable with a kiss, so I settled on leaving one on her cheek.

“Would you consider spending more time with me tomorrow?” I asked, feeling nervous all the sudden.

“I think I can clear my schedule for that.” She teased.

“I have some work to finish up in the morning before the show. It'd be fun for you to join me.”

“Would it be acceptable for me to be there?”

“Of course! Come with me! You can see all the behind the scenes stuff. If you want— I’d like you there— I mean if you don’t want to— I want you to be— well if you—”

“Michael, I’d love to.”

“It’s for Moonwalker.” I spoke, looking down at my feet to hide my shy smile.

“No way! You’re finally making it? That’s incredible babe! I can’t wait to see it.” My heart fluttered at the nickname. I was sure it slipped out, but I’ll take it. Little victories.

"Thank you. It’s been incredible so far. The script has come together nicely and I’ve been able to get almost everything I’ve envisioned brought to life.”

“That’s so exciting. I can’t believe I’m engaged to, what is it a quadruple threat? What can’t you do?” The way she looked at me was out of this world. If we weren’t in a public place I would’ve been all over her.

“You’re making me blush.”

“Mhm.” She moved closer to me, her soft lips connecting with my jawline. Her movements were so soothing. My eyes fell shut as she planted small kisses down my neck.

“I could get used to this.” I joked, she giggled, gently pushing me away.

“You always had that about you.”

“What?”

“The talent of being so damn adorable that I forget why I was angry in the first place.”

“We’re going to make it.” The corner of my lip curved up as I stretched my arm out to grab a hold of her. “Y/N, we’re going to make it. We have to make it.”

“We will make it.” She responded softly, rubbing tiny circles into my wrist with her thumb.

We stood in an empty hallway, smiling at each other like two lovesick kids. It was a nice change. It was a moment filled with hope.

“I have a surprise for you.” An excited smile graced her face at my statement. I led her out to a small courtyard, where I’d set up a romantic lunch date for us.

“This is beautiful.” We walked down a small path surrounded by flowers and a small pond. She was practically jumping up and down. It was perfect.

“My lady.” I grinned, sliding out her chair for her.

“Why thank you.”

We sat enjoying our meal. I noticed Y/N had stopped eating a few minutes ago. She was in her head I could tell, so I did my best to let nature take its course. I couldn’t push her. I needed to let her work through it at her pace.

“Michael.”

“Yes?” She didn’t respond, instead she stood up from her seat and took a few steps over to my side of the table. “Y/N, is everything—” she paid no mind to my worry, carefully she sat on my thigh, her legs finding a place in between my own. Her arm slid across my shoulders, her gaze focused on me and a shy expression on her face.

“Michael?”

“Yes?”

“Could you, could you kiss me?” She asked nervously, like she thought there was the slightest possibility I would say no. I’d never say no.

“Y—yes, of course.” Nerves I never knew existed were now running through me at an alarming rate. My hands were trembling as I placed them on her. The moisture in my eyes suddenly disappeared, making me blink rapidly which I’m sure looked anything but normal. I removed my hat, placing it on the table and taking an audible deep breath. I must have been taken way too long because she spoke up again.

“I’m sorry. It’s okay. If you aren’t comfortable.” She shifted her body away from me, so I wrapped my arms around her. “I don’t know what came over me.”

“No.” I pulled her into me, her back pressed up against my chest.

“No?” She turned slightly to look at me and that’s when I kissed her.

Our lips laced together, perfectly, but only for a moment. We parted slowly, the kiss obviously had her feeling the same way I did. This was where I was supposed to be. Our gaze unfaltering, heavy with emotion and conveying the longing we had for each other. At the same time, the space between us disappeared and our bodies melted into one another. Eagerly, I grabbed her by the back of her neck and smashed my lips onto hers. Our connection deepening as her hands found a place at the back of my head.

As my fingers sunk into her hips, everything else faded away.

The only thing that could separate us, the only thing that could disrupt this moment was a tornado or maybe an earthquake. Neither of us wanted to be the first to pull away. We didn’t want this moment to be cut short. We wanted to soak in every piece of it because it was glorious.

“Michael!”

“A few minutes of peace was too good to be true.” She smiled against my lips, her hand sliding down to my chest and clenching a fist full of my shirt.

“Damn Bill. Should I— yeah I’m going to fire him. We’ll never be interrupted again.” I kissed her again, harder this time. Her giggles being replaced by soft moans. Oh, shit. We’re about to do it in the courtyard of a museum.

“Michael!”

“Son of a—”

“There seems to be a problem. I’m sorry to interrupt—” he stopped dead in his tracks, looking at us suspiciously before shaking his head and rolling his eyes. “Kids, there are windows everywhere!” He started pointing them out all around us. “You’re outside! In broad daylight!Anyone could see you two!”

“It’s fine. We weren’t doing anything.” I shrugged, tickling Y/N’s hip discretely.

“Sure. You’ve got lipstick on boy!”

“Oops.” Y/N looked so embarrassed, reaching to retrieve a napkin to clean me up. “You kind of pull it off though.” She whispered.

“Seems you’ve been found out. We need to get going before it gets out of control.”

“Well, that was fun while it lasted.” I’ve become used to adjusting my expectations, it’s just hard when I’m not the only one affected by it.

“It was! Look on the bright side, there’s nothing that went unseen. We got to do it all.” She’s so positive it’s impossible for some of it not to rub off on me.

She had her arm firmly around my waist, mine draped across her shoulders as we reached the exit doors. There was nothing I hated more than arguing with her, but if it would bring us closer together I’ll make an exception.

"Wait! Back up." Bill shouted, he opened the door for us just to slam it shut immediately. He aggressively pulled it until he heard the click ensuring it was secure.

"What is it?" Y/N asked, reinforcing her grip on my hand.

"We've got a bit of a situation dollface." Bill's tone was familiar to me, but not to Y/N. “Change of plans. What do you want to do?”

"How many are there?" I was frustrated to say the least. This was supposed to be a nice day away from everything, just the two of us. “It can’t be that bad. Can we make it work?”

"Enough. No, I’m sorry. I don’t want anyone getting hurt. I say we have Y/N walk out the main entrance by herself and we will get you out through the side entrance. They don’t know she’s here, so they won't bother her. She'll be safer if we split up."

"No. We're going out together."

"Michael, I don't think that's the best idea. You're playing with fire right now, son."

"Bill, she's my lady. I’m not sending her off on her own. She's safest right here. Next to me."

"Okay." Bill smiled proudly at my defiance. He had been furious at me, probably more so than anyone else. When I had him help me miss the wedding he refused to give me a moment of peace. He had lectured me for a whole six hours, saying I needed to man up and quit running away from the things I want. I never thought I’d see him that angry, I’d never given him a reason to be so disappointed in me. He repeated it over and over again, I had to stop making nonsense excuses to hide from good things in life or as he put it 'ruining my destiny.'

Damn, the old man, he was testing me. I guess I passed. Little victories.

“Let’s get out of here. Keep her close.” He shot me a stern look before leading the way outside. I nearly lost my balance when I took a step forward and Y/N didn’t move a muscle. Her eyes wide as she took in the chaotic scene we were about to walk directly into.

“I got you!” I shouted, so she could hear me over the commotion. “I’m not going to let anything happen to you!” I held her face in my hands, her hands gripped my wrists as she gave me a quick nod.

As we stepped through the threshold the number of people outside seemed to multiply. The screaming was deafening, my ears were vibrating and my teeth rattled uncontrollably. Y/N was struggling to stay on her feet beside me until I redirected her in front of me. People were reaching out to touch us and I could tell it was making her nervous. My hands firmly on her hips as our path shrunk significantly with each step. The crowd began pushing and pulling at us. I did everything in my power to comfort her, but it wasn’t enough. Suddenly, Y/N spun around wrapping her arms tightly around me.

“What’s wrong?” I spoke into her ear as she hid her face in the crook of my neck.

“I can’t see. My eye, there’s something in it.” I quickly looked down, she leaned her head back, staring up at me. Oh, no. Her eye squeezed shut, a crimson stream flowing down the right side of her face, I watched in disbelief as the thick substance dripped off her chin and down her neck.

“You’re okay.” I tucked her face back into my neck, cradling her head with my arm. “Bill!” When he turned to glance at me I held up my blood stained hand. After that, our journey through the crowd was an anxiety filled blur. When we finally made it to the vehicle, Bill guided us inside cautiously, jumping in after us and slamming the door shut.

“I’m so sorry.” I collected all the napkins in sight, with shaky hands I put pressure on the wound. I couldn’t see anything, there was so much damn blood. She just stared at me blankly. “I’m so sorry.”

“What the hell happened!” Bill roared, causing us both to jump.

“I don’t know.”

“I told you! I told you to keep her safe and you couldn’t even do that.”

“I did everything–”

“No you didn’t! You let her down again. You didn’t step up again. She deserves better!” 

“Please stop.” Y/N muttered.

“She trusted you to take care of her and again you hurt her! How could you let this—”

“Dammit, stop yelling at him!” Y/N’s voice reached an octave I had never heard before. She exhaled deeply, intertwining our fingers as she pulled me closer, her head resting on my shoulder. The warmth of her body sent shivers down my spine as she leaned against me. “Someone threw something. It isn’t his fault. It happened so fast. I didn’t even see it. Michael didn’t let me down, he never has.” It felt like her last sentence had deeper meaning. Whether that was her way of sending me message or not, she definitely sent one to those around us.

Her and I are a team. There’s no denying that.

“I’m sorry dollface.” Bill spoke as he concentrated his gaze out the window.

The vehicle hadn’t come to a full stop before Y/N grabbed my hand and pulled me along with her. I struggled to keep up, weaving through people, hopping over furniture. We barely made it into the elevator. Y/N was panting, incessantly hitting the button until the door began to shut just as we saw Bill trying to catch up with us.

“That was fun!” Her laughter filled the small space, she backed into the wall sliding down and holding her belly. I took a seat across from her, the way her cheeks shimmered under the flickering light had my full attention.

“It was.” I agreed, she studied my expression, stretching her arm out to press the emergency button. The familiar way the floor vibrated and that look in her eyes made me feel like I was on top of the world. She held her hand out to me, a small smile tugging at the corners of her lips. “I think you have a concussion.” I joked.

“I’m fine. It’s just a scratch. The blood made it seem worse, but I’m good. I promise.” She moved to rest on her knees in between my legs, beaming at me, unrushed and uninterrupted. Her fingers curled around mine. “I don’t have it in me to hate you Michael. You’re the only man I’ve ever loved. I’ve never wanted anyone else.”

“Neither have I.”

“Why is everything so complicated then?”

“Because I’m an idiot.”

The cool steel wall pressed into my back, the warmth of her hands made my chest feel like it was set on fire, my eyes never leaving hers as she glanced down, studying my lips. Her guard slowly being let down the longer I held her. We sat there for what felt like hours, each second better than the last.

“You’re not an idiot.” Y/N’s voice sounded just above a whisper as our noses touched.

“I’ve made mistakes.” My voice cracking at my vulnerable position. “You do deserve better.”

“Michael–”

“I was kidding myself to think I’d ever be enough for you.”

“You made a mistake.” Her fingers traced the line of my jaw, keeping me from looking away. “It doesn’t mean you aren’t enough.” She mumbled, her shiny red lips communicated the rest.

She’s kissing me. She’s actually kissing me. My fingers were tangled in her silky hair as she tugged at my coat. I glanced at her briefly, she guided my hand to the zipper of her dress. Her skin was so soft, softer than I remember. Everything about her became even more beautiful than the last moment I spent with her. I can’t believe this is happening.

“We don’t have to do this if you aren’t ready. I’m just happy being with you again.”

“Michael, look at me.”

“Yes?”

“I need you.” Her voice is like music to my ears. I remembered the day I had said those exact words to her in this very elevator. “I need you closer.” She melted into me. The warmth of her thighs squeezed around my torso as I felt every emotion she felt, her lips never parting from mine.

“You’re sure?” I mumbled into her mouth, hoping she didn’t pull away from me.

“I’m so sure.” She grunted, tearing my shirt open, the sound of the buttons shooting against the walls masked by echoes of pleasure.

“Wait.” I pulled away, reaching the emergency button, and the elevator began to carry us up again.

“What— oh my goodness.” Y/N jumped up, readjusting her dress, she moved to zip it up and that’s when I stopped her.

“I’d leave it undone.” The elevator paused at our floor, I picked her up quickly, running down the hall to the room. Y/N was laughing, gripping my back tightly as I squeezed at her thighs that were wrapped around me. She moved to suck on my neck and I nearly dropped her at the sudden feeling of her tongue. I pushed her against the wall, my lips finding hers while my free hand aggressively twisted the doorknob.

“Michael, open the door or I’m gonna take your pants off right here.” 

“I’m trying.” Her laugh grew louder and uncontrollable while she watched me fight with the door. “This damn door.” I put her down, using both hands to push the damn thing open.

“Michael–”

“I got it!” She clung to me as I moved us inside, locking the door behind us. 

“You’re cute.” I felt her say against my lips. Her arms wrapped tightly around me as I walked backwards, chuckling every time she apologized for stepping on my toes.

“You’re—” We tumbled backwards, the corner of the mattress catching my leg unexpectedly as I led the way to the bed. We landed on the floor, Y/N carefully rolled off of me, cuddling into my side. Now, here we are, on the floor. Again.   

She’s actually here. Her body pressed against mine. The rise and fall of her chest brought me a great sense of comfort, one that I had been stripped of in the last few days. I can’t mess this up. I can’t lose her. I can’t make any more mistakes.

“That was smooth.” She said in between her fits of laughter. “It looked like you did a backflip. Are you okay?”

“God, I missed your laugh.”

“I missed you.”

“Thank you.”

“For?”

“Spending the day with me. Thank you for agreeing to see me.”

“My heart belongs to you. That never changed.” She placed a gentle kiss at the corner of my mouth, but it ended way too soon.

“I hope it never does.”

“It won’t” She whispered, then it happened again. She looked into my eyes and the world stopped. She slowly leaned down, her lips connecting with mine. She clenched her fingers around my collar, pulling me on top of her, spreading her legs open in one swift motion. My body began to shiver as I settled in between them. Her forehead scrunched up when I pulled away, she studied my face while touching my cheek lovingly. “What’s going on in there?” she lightly tapped my temple. A worried expression grew on her face.

“I’m just thinking.”

“Uh-oh.”

“I can’t wait to start a family with you.” The whites of her eyes became more visible, her lips parted slightly as she obviously struggled with what to say next. “They’ll be brilliant. They’ll be beautiful. The more they inherit from you the better.”

I scanned every detail of her face, until her eyes captured my attention. I remember the first time I stared into them, I got lost, I became a sputtery mess. Her eyes enveloped me in a sense of warmth I’d never felt before. A sensation I only feel with her. Then, she smiled at me. My heart could barely take it, it pounded so hard I was sure she could feel it. I remember the first complement I gave her. “You’ve got a real pretty smile.” It slipped out, but I meant it. Oh, did I mean it! Y/N scrunched her nose and turned away when she nervously thanked me. She had me wrapped around her finger from that moment forward.

“That’s kind of— wait, are you saying you want to start trying for a baby?” Her voice was low and her expression difficult to read.

“I’d like to marry you first. That is, if you’ll still have me.”

The anticipation consuming me as I awaited her response was peaceful because I knew what the future entailed.

Our future.

Now, I truly understood and believed in the idea that sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.

[tw1l1te]

The Final Promise₊˚✩⊹

Chapter 9

Linked Universe x reader

Warnings: a LOT of angst and negative mental health, little fluff, Legend being Legend, some hints at spice

₊˚✩⊹

“Where the hell are we, Champ?” Legend groans, shaking his head.

Wild pulls out his slate, “We’re home! My hom- Hyrule, at least. We’re just past the Great Plateau, Southwest.”

He looks at the map a bit closer, “Close to Gerudo Highlands, actually.”

Your ears pick up at that. You were back on course, in a way.

“How far till the last stable before the desert, Wild?” you ask. He taps his chin in thought.

“Well if we start moving now, we could reach it by nightfall probably.”

And with that, you and the group started walking. You didn’t have Epona with you, so everyone was on foot. You walked with Twilight and Hyrule, talking about anything, you weren’t actively listening. You were too busy staring at Legend’s backside, as if you were trying to make him look at you.

“You good, Sugarplum? You’ve been zoned out for the past 20 minutes or so.” Hyrule whispers to you. Curse everyone for being so damn observant.

You nodded, “Yeah, just uh. I don’t know, a lot’s on my mind.” you mumble, finally pulling your eyes away from the Vet. Your staring wasn’t going anywhere.

“Are you and Vet ok? It seems like something’s going on between you two, but I don’t wanna assume.” 

“We’re just stressed about our own situations. Nothing to worry about.”

“You should talk to him, y’know. That usually helps.”

“I trie- I will. I’m just a bit mentally preoccupied at the moment.” you said with a sad smile, Hyrule nods at you in understanding. 

“I’m here for you, if needed.”

You keep walking, eyes focused on the terrain ahead of you. The red rock of the Gerudo Highlands were always quite a sight, even in game, but seeing them for yourself for the first time in ages was incredible.

The day passed relatively quickly, the only sounds being that of the wind and the occasional chatting between the boys. You didn’t talk much, not exactly having the social battery to converse. 

You walked up to Time, as you always fell into comfortable silence with him and you felt like you haven’t spent much time with him since your incident. He gives you a quick glance, looking back at the path ahead.

“I can hear you thinking, Y/n. What is it?” he asked, still not looking at you.

You fumble with the straps on your harness, a nervous habit. 

“I, just, uh feel like we haven’t had much time together lately.”

You think for a second. Wait.

“That wasn’t supposed to be a pun. Sorry.”

“I know what you meant, its alright. No need to apologize.”

“I feel like something else is on your mind though, Y/n. I think I may know what, but… I don’t know if now is the best time or place to talk about it. I don’t want the younger ones snooping in things they shouldn’t be.”

You laugh, “Time, we’re with grown men and one pre-teen.”

He scoffs, “They act like children.”

“You’re not wrong.”

You both stay quiet for a moment, taking in the serenity of the evening, the sun starting its descent into night. You can make out the faint plume of smoke in front of you, meaning that the last stable before Gerudo Desert was coming up. Looking up, you can see a few wolves on the snowy tops of the valley, looking down at you and your group. They howled for a bit, no doubt being curious and/or displeased with your presence in their territory.

You felt a shiver go up your spine, tickling the back of your neck.

“God, I forgot how cold the valley can get towards nighttime.” You pull out your only sweater, the famous Link hoodie that the group made fun of you for, but hey, at least you won’t freeze.

Pulling the hood up, you sighed in content. You sure will get some looks, but you were willing to sacrifice your dignity.

You all approached the stable, Wild jogging up to the innkeeper, checking you all in. Luckily, Wild had sold some precious stones earlier in the day with a merchant, so he had enough to pay for all of you.

“Inn’s kinda full, so we’re gonna have to share beds. I’ll share with whoever, don’t really have a preference.”

A few groans reverberate through the group, but there’s no conflict in pairing up.

Four walks up to you, hand on his knife holster, “Looks like it’s gonna be you and me, you ok with that?” You shrug, not like you had another option anyways.

You both walk to the vacant bed, which happens to be toward the very back of the inn, opposite of the main office. Wild’s inns were cozy, its just all the open space and vulnerability made you anxious.

“I’ll be right with you, don’t worry. I know how the lack of divided rooms affects you.” 

Ah, so he knew.

“Thank you, Four. I don’t know why I’m so squeamish around large, vast spaces and not with tight spaces. It’s usually the opposite for people.”

He nods. You both unpack your belongings, Four placing his and your packs under the bed, away from prying eyes. You fidgeted with the necklace he made you, feeling yourself zoning out.

“You two good? Dinner’s almost ready!” Wars yells out to you both from the entrance. Four smiles, and you two walk out the inn towards the small campfire Wild made.

“If you start kicking me at night, I’m kicking you off the bed.” Legend says to Wind. 

“I don’t kick!!” he exclaims, throwing his arms up.

“I’ve slept right next to you plenty of times to know you do fuckin’ combat in your dreams.” Vet mumbles, eyes briefly glancing at you.

You sit down on the ground, leaning against Sky. God, you were tired. Sky leaned over you, “How are you, Dove?”

You just groan, leaning against his leg. 

“Yeah, same.”

You shiver again. Sky looks at you, then reaches behind him, grabbing a blanket. Where did he get that?

Leaning over you, he drapes it over you, tucking you in. You beam at him, “You’re so sweet, thank you Sky.”

Leaning against his leg, he absentmindedly brushes through your locks while you look into the fire. Wild gives you a smile as he tosses a few mushrooms in and a few dashes of goron spice.

You look to your left, Legend’s eyes on yours. He looks exhausted. 

You glance back at the fire, feeling a blush creeping in at the attention from him. 

“You excited to head into Gerudo Town tomorrow?” Wild asks, still stirring the pot.

“Yeah! I haven’t had the chance to meet Riju yet. I also can’t wait to finally try the Hydromelons, you keep goin’ on and on about them.” you smile.

Wild chuckles, “They’re delicious and beneficial, especially for the heat during the day. I even have a spare Vai outfit for you, so you shouldn’t struggle as much. I’ll give it to you after supper if I remember to.”

You nod. You don’t really pay attention to the rest of the conversation, no one bothering to bring you out of your daze.

~

Considering how exhausted you felt just over an hour ago, you were awake as can be in bed. You tossed and turned for what felt like hours, trying to find the right spot to doze off in. Four was out the second he hit the pillow.

Sighing heavily, you sit up and hop off the bed, walking towards the entrance of the inn. The lights were barely on at this point in the night, but you could make out the sleeping forms of the heroes as you passed by them. You grabbed a spare blanket from on top of one of the crates in the in and wore it like a cape, walking over to the small fire. You were surprised to find Legend sitting on a log, staring into the fire. He looked up when he heard your footsteps, eyes widening the slightest bit at the recognition of your face.

“Couldn’t sleep.” you mumbled, sitting a few feet away from him. He doesn’t respond, continuing to stare at the fire.

The silence is awkward. 

“You look tired. You should sleep.” you say cautiously, not wanting to start conflict.

“‘m not. Can’t sleep anyways.” he mumbles.

Another moment of silence passes.

“Did I do something?” you ask, voice small.

He still doesn’t say anything. You were getting on edge, this wasn’t like him. He’s snarky, quick to talk back.

“What’s going on with you? A few days ago you were teasing me and goofing off with Wind and now you barely say a word, if that. If it’s something I said or did-”

“You didn’t do anything, Y/n.”

“You say that but you still won’t even look at me or talk to me. What are you so afraid of-”

“For the love of- Stop. Fucking stop. You don’t know me, stop trying to act like you care.”

“Excuse me?”

He finally looks at you, eyebrows furrowed and knuckles white on his knees, weeping to be relaxed and unclenched. He looked angry, scared, betrayed, horrified. 

“I see how you look at me, full of pity and sadness, like I’m some fucking charity case to you. You think you may know all about my past, just because you’re our-my guide, but you don’t. You can’t even begin to imagine what I feel. What I have to be reminded of every time I close my eyes.”

“Link I don’t pity you and I have never pretended to know exactly what you went through. I know I was there, but I also know I don’t know what it was like for you and how it affected you.”

“I see how you are with the others. Time? Twilight? They look at you in ways I’ve never seen them look at someone. Hell, everyone looks at you like you’re some goddess descended upon Hyrule. I fucking- I can’t stand it.”

“I-”

“I don’t even know why you’re with us, Y/n. Why the fuck are you here, dealing with this prophecy cult bullshit? You could’ve avoided this if you weren’t stupid-”

“I NEVER FUCKING ASKED TO BE HERE.”

He seemed to shut up at your exclamation.

You took a shaky breath, already feeling the tears spilling from your eyes.

“You think I asked to be dragged through a portal, possibly never being able to come home? You think I fucking wanted this? I never wanted to become some ‘guide’ or ‘goddess’ as you put it. I’m just a nobody, a fucking girl that’s depressed and found comfort in characters that she could relate to, but I guess I was wrong. I can’t relate at all. To you, to Time, to any of you. I’m just some sorry excuse of a guide that’s scared of being alone and left behind.”

You were sobbing at this point, snot running down your chin, the tears clouding up your vision in front of you.

“I’m sorry I’ll leav-” 

“Please don’t go. I need you, Link.”

Legend paused at that, processing your words.

“Ok. I’ll stay.”

You cautiously cuddled into his side, panting for air from your panic attack. 

You needed him.

“I need you too, Mouse.”

You looked up at him at the mention of your nickname. His eyes were bloodshot, as if he had been crying for days on end. He wiped your tears away with his thumb, eyes not leaving your face.

“Kiss me, Link.”

And he did. 

Legend groaned slightly into your mouth, causing you to gasp. He took it as an invitation to run his tongue along yours, your tears still running into your mouth, making your lips taste salty. He ran his callosed hands down your back and pulled you in closer, as if he was afraid this was a dream and you’ll leave him.

Just when you thought he was done, he pulled you onto his lap, blanket falling off your shoulders onto a heap on the ground. He moaned into your lips, making you press yourself against him, chest to chest. You wanted, needed more.

“More, Link-ah.” you whined.

He seemed to slow at your whining, coming back to reality. He sighed, placing his forehead against yours.

“I want to, Mousey. Trust me, I do, I just… someone might walk out here.”

You groan into his shoulder, but he was right. It was too risky.

He lifts your face off of his shoulder, tilting your chin up “But once we have some privacy I’ll give you more, ok? I promise.”

You flush at his words, knowing what he was insinuating.

“We should go in, before someone starts panicking. Would you… want to sleep next to me?” he asks, the tips of his ears bright pink. You nod, picking up the blanket from the ground. You suddenly felt very sleepy.

Following Legend back into the inn, you noticed Wind had fallen off the bed and made his way into Four’s bed, which seemed all a little too convinient for your current situation, but you were too tired to care. 

You flopped into bed, and Legend followed suit, stripping his sheath and outer tunic before cuddling up to you. He placed a kiss on your forehead before whispering, “Goodnight, my little mouse.”

~

“Rise and shine fuckers!!” 

You groan into your… pillow? That’s weird, when did it become so firm-oh. Oh.

The “pillow” groaned, rubbing his face with his hands. His pink hair was all over the place, under eyes still as droopy as ever. Yawning, he looked down at you with a sleepy smile.

“Guessin’ you slept well?”

“Huh?”

“You drooled all over me.”

“Oh, grossss. I’m so sorry Leg-”

“Don’t worry about it, I got another tunic in my pack.”

You stop to look at him. Really look at him. You haven’t had a moment like this with him… ever. He looked so happy, eyes crinkling in the corners, half unbuttoned tunic, hair messy from sleep. You wanted to see him happy. All of them, happy.

“Alright, love birds! Breakfast and out let’s go, let’s go!” Wind yelled again, clapping his hands.

You both rolled your eyes, begrudgingly getting out of bed. You pulled your tunic on, lacing it up in the back. You looked up while lacing to see him staring at you. He gave you a wink and went back to getting dressed as if it was another day on the job.

How the hell is he so casual about this?

You didn’t have time to dwell as Wild’s cooking snapped you out of your daze, bringing you outside to the same pot you and Legend were sitting at just a few hours ago. Legend was alreadyeating, looking up at you mid-bite for a moment before continuing to eat.

You sit in between Four and Warriors, Wild handing you a plate before you sat down. 

Before you had a chance to take a bite, Wars asked “Where’d you and the Vet go last night?”

Shit, was he awake that entire time?

“We both couldn’t sleep, just sat by the fire for a bit.”

“Chat about anything?”

You narrowed your eyes.

What the hell was he getting at?

“Just… stuff. What are-” “Jeez Cap, leave her alone, would ya?” Vet snaps, already back to his typical snarky self. You mouth a ‘thanks’ to him, finally able to dig into your food. A few of the others exchange looks, curious about the sudden defensiveness Vet had over you.

You’d have to clear things up with Wars later, as Wild was ushring you back into the inn the second you finished chewing your last bite of food, needing to get you changed into more appropriate clothing.

“I managed to buy another vai outfit a few months back, I hope you like red.”

Wild hands you a bundle of soft red fabric, embroidered with silky golden thread and lace trim. Jesus, this looked expensive.

“Wild, you sure? This looks really expensive.”

“It really wasn’t, trust me. Now come on, we gotta get dressed and head out, Riju is expecting us.”

You nodded, already starting to strip your outer layers while Wild went outside to change. Thankfully, nobody was inside the inn so you could change quickly and quietly without any prying eyes. You catch a mirror in the far corner of the inn, deciding to take a quick once-over before you go out, and check on your healing back.

You turn around and your breath hitches.

Your wounds are completely gone.

₊˚✩⊹

[saltpepperbeard]

Are you still feeling hopeful? I’m trying really hard not to feel demoralized these last few days…

Hi, darling anon! I totally understand where you’re coming from. We’ve been at it for weeks (almost THREE) and things have seemingly slowed down, there’s drama both in-fandom and out, and there’s just sort of an ever-creeping feeling of disheartenment. And on top of everything, it’s JANUARY (DEROGATORY).

But you know what? Despite all of that, despite it all, I am still clinging onto hope. Call me stubborn or whatever else lol, but yes, I’m still hopeful. I think I will be until I see Djenks wave some sort of white flag, or until a lot of time passes with no forward momentum. And even with the latter, I’ll probably still have the stubborn wish to get something like a movie or whatever else in the future.

Now, I’m clinging onto hope for a few reasons. One, and this is the most important one, we really don’t know what’s happening behind the scenes right now. I think that mentality can also swing into negative territory, but I’m using it to propel me into hopeful territory. We don’t know what all is being discussed, we don’t know if anyone’s interested, and we don’t know who all is fighting and how hard.

Again, could be twisted into a “nothing is happening” type view, but when I look at David? At Taika? And how much the show means to them? How passionately they’ve spoken out about it? And how gracious David and the rest of the cast/crew has been? Idk about you, but I’d like to think they’re trying to push for a continuation as hard as they can. *Stede voice* I don’t think…any of us have let go, actually.

Not to mention that the cast and crew have not stopped posting/interacting with renewal campaign efforts. David hasn’t told us anything that would allude to failed deals, and Ruibo still posts #SaveOFMD type things. It just feels like they’re still riding alongside of us.

Secondly, and sort of along those lines, I’m holding on to the knowledge that every renewal is different. There have been some giant campaigns with zero results, but there have also been smaller campaigns with success. There have been campaigns that have only landed a few more episodes, whereas there have been others that landed more seasons, a movie, etc etc.

Each case is unique, and really has to do with what’s going on behind the scenes. Why the show was cancelled in the first place, if the platform is willing to shop it out, if other platforms find it desirable/profitable, etc etc.

And I think along those lines also, there comes a mentality that makes people even more disheartened and sad. I think there’s this thought that if we’ve slowed down, if we’re not pushing enough, we won’t get renewed. And I don’t really think that’s the case; I don’t think renewal rests squarely on our shoulders like that. Because, again, I think a lot of it really has to do with money, and with negotiations between studios. I think we’re very good for visibility and noise, and subsequently, I think any sort of effort is great effort! I think any work that has been conducted is good work.

It’s also important to think about how we’re sort of in a transition stage of the campaign right now, too. Things are significantly different than they were just a week ago. There are campaign leadership changes going on, the focus is different, and new plans of attack are being ironed out.

So, we all just need to give ourselves some grace. We’ve done so much, and things have moved so fast, and the cast and crew have felt so loved. We’ve made it into publications, made it onto physical ads, and gotten the attention of outside entities (shoutout to Astroglide WJDJW). We’ve also all come together, which is VERY wonderful considering how divided things felt towards the end of October. We’re doing wonderful all things considered, and so for that reason among a few others, I’m still hopeful.

Also, there’s this post by @pehmokoira that goes into even MORE detail of why we shouldn’t throw in the towel/lose hope.

SO. TLDR, there is a lot weighing down on “the atmosphere of this ship,” but I still encourage you to keep those fingers crossed. Help maintain the momentum however works best for you. Take a break, take a step back, and take care. But keep that stubborn little fire burning if you can 💜🏴‍☠️

[polyvinyl-acolyte]

so the dust has settled now.

tw// us politics, bigotry, nick fuentes

election ‘24 is over, and it seems he’s doing exactly what we all said he would. exactly what everyone was calling us crazy for saying he would do.

and what is the rhetoric about?

how “the left has failed men.”

barring how we’re making the assumption that the democrats are the left (lmao), i feel like we give this too much credit here. i genuinely am of the opinion that a lot of men just actually hate women or don’t see them as people. we’re seeing this now with the “your body my choice” shit. all it took was some weedy little gremlin on twitter to say something like that, boom. a massive anti-woman movement explodes overnight.

here’s the thing. the boomer mentality of raising boys to be little sociopaths never really went away, it just got painted over. what we’re seeing in maga zoomers is that entitlement finally coming to the forefront. yeah man, sorry, you were only given a little bit less than your daddy and granddaddy got. here’s your equal attention candidate, now go blow up democracy forever.

you ask them about why they hold the beliefs they do, and you get a lot of “you told me i was evil, i just wanted to be left alone, and you came for my hobbies because we couldn’t even have that.”

seriously?

i have no fucking empathy for these people, and neither should you. they’re a bunch of sad, scared little boys who are throwing a tantrum and breaking everything because star wars is woke now or whatever. fuck them.

here’s the thing

trump didn’t gain any votes meaningfully. the dems just lost a bunch. we know who’s taken what side at this point. why are we gunning for claimed territory?

the left never “failed” men. the democrats failed everyone else. they tried capitulating to a demographic that would have never in a million years have voted for them. minimum 18 years of male socialization coupled with andrew tate brain worms has resulted in a non-negligible portion of men that see themselves as living in a world that owes them everything. we cannot change their mind for them, that has to come from them.

this is what you do over the next four years.

you’re going to be hearing a lot of disgusting things from men for a while. nick fuentes’ bullshit was only the tip of the iceberg. if you are male or even male presenting, i beg of you, call this shit out. make men ashamed again. make sexists afraid to speak out again. for the good of everyone else in this country.

and maybe accept that some people are just political lost causes.

[mara-and-its-the-same]

yeah,,,, sad boy,,,,, anyway

I got this request in like february and then i lost it but it was on anon so i hope it finds whoever requested it even though i bet they don't remember, hey lovely! i LOVED your last post so i was wondering if i could submit a post? ive had this idea for awhile…. A JJ Maybank x kook!reader where JJ just keeps bringing up the fact that the reader and rafe used to have a fling and the reader just breaks down and asks JJ why he keeps bringing it up and JJ tells her its because he saw that Rafe still texts the reader and JJ like demands that the reader blocks Rafe. you can end it however you like! i just like a lot of angst lmao ❤️💋 It should be stated that i did get carried away and forgot a few things but I hope you enjoy <3 WC: 5k, not beta'd

“You’re staring.” You saw JJ looking at you from the other side of the small living room in the chateau. You’d been texting in your group chat with your friends from your old school, since some of them had switched to boarding schools and whatnot, but you caught him out of the corner of your eye.

“I’m not.”

“What are you doing then?”

“Admiring.”

You moved closer to the edge of the couch and made room for him. He jumped on next to you, nearly landing right on top of you. “You’re typing pretty fast. Who’re you talkin’ to?”

You learned in the last few months that you’d been together now that JJ was not the terribly jealous type in public. He was the first guy you’ve dated that understood that if you’re dating a hot girl, there’s no reason she should stop being a hot girl. If anything, he liked it more. He liked that everyone would look at you but you’d always be looking at him. The problem came whenever you took a second to look away. You both knew what it was like to feel insecure, like someone was leading you on for no reason, like there was no trust. 

“Just my friends from school.”

“What about?”

“They’re trying to plan something next Saturday.”

He made a face you couldn’t see but you could feel it from his cheek moving on your shoulder. “What?”

When you looked at him he tried to take a neutral expression. “We’re going out Saturday.”

“I know.” Your voice didn’t match his. He sounded rough and salty, you were smooth and sweet. “That’s why I said ‘they’re’ trying to. My Saturdays are yours.”

“Good.” He pushed up to kiss you then went out to see what Pope and John B were doing outside. 

Kiara had been watching from the kitchen with a curled lip and a raised brow, holding her cold bottle to her chest. She got you one before she came and sat where JJ had just been. “Possessive much?”

“It’s fine.” You dropped the sweetness and just sounded bored. 

“You see him every Saturday?”

“I see him every day. And I guess that includes the days my friends I haven’t seen in 6 months are back in.” You shrugged and rolled your head to the back of the couch after taking a drink. “It’s fine.”

“Why don’t you tell him you want to see them?”

Another shrug, “He’ll ask why I want to go out with some Kooks when I can be with you guys.”

“That’s ridiculous.” She stood up like she was going to walk right out and tell him you’re going, but you pulled her back by the elbow. “What?”

“I’ll talk to him later.”

“Promise?”

You nodded and locked your pinky with hers before going outside. 

***

As Saturday approached, your phone buzzed more and JJ got more…territorial. You put it back on do not disturb and set it down by your leg, the one he wasn’t next to, and went back to watching your feet dangle with the tide slowly rising and the wake of a boat every so often splashing your toes. Adding an occasional kick to watch the way it rippled. The sun was settling behind you like an over-ripe peach. Big and bleeding towards orange, it spilled into the water, sending little arcs of light swimming with every roll of water.

“Who’s going Saturday?”

“Hmm?”

“You’re friends are going out Saturday, which ones?”

“Oh, yeah. Um I don’t think you’d know most of them but like Sarah Cameron, maybe her brother, I don’t know though. Lizzie Callaghan, Riley, Jack. I forget who else.”

“You wanted to go out with Rafe Cameron?” It sounded ugly when he said it like that.

“I wanted to go out with my friends whether or not he was there. I told you I wasn’t going to go since we already made plans that day. It’s fine, we’re both happy with it, don’t worry about it.”

“You don’t seem very happy about it.” He pulled his legs up from the water and his heels left the almost grey old wood of the dock dark with salt water. He pulled his arms around his shins.You thought you’d get through without it being brought up, having spent another day together in the cut. He hated going to your house. Not that he hated your house, he hated how far it was from his, how it was further than distance, it was tax brackets away, worlds away. 

“I haven’t seen them in a while, I’d like to see them soon. I have plans that day, they’ll be back. It’s fine.” Your posture went to shit after you grabbed your phone. Not that it was the best before, when you were looking at the water, but now your arms weren’t holding you up so your back was curled like a shell. Just to check the time and if Sarah or Kie texted you.

“Yeah, cus I’m sure you never get to see Rafe.”

“Jesus Christ, Jay. I told you that we went on 3 dates four years ago,” you slammed the face of your phone on the dock next to you, not the best idea. “He is in college in Massachusetts! So yes, we “dated” when I was 14, and we stayed friendly because his sister is one of my best friends.” You stood up and grabbed your bag on the way, he hardly even moved, just craned his neck and let his view of you be blurred by the sun behind you. “Yes, I would like to see him, but he, and all my other friends, will be here for the whole summer, there’s more than enough time for me to see them any other non-Saturday.” 

“So you still talk?”

“Holy fuck.” You put a hand to your head and turned away for a second. 

“I’m just saying like, you’re my girlfriend. It’s not impossible to think that maybe I don’t want you hanging around with that kind of asshole.”

“What is ‘that kind of asshole’?”

“You know what I mean.”

“I feel like I don’t.”

“I mean he was a classist prick to me and all my friends my whole life,” he finally stood up now, and moved so that he blocked the sun from your eyes.

“When he was fucking 12!”

“What about last year when he crashed me and John B’s party at the boneyard? You remember that right? You and him and all your little kooks came, flocking like fuckin– fucking vultures.”

“Fuck this,” you remembered that night, the two of them got into a fight over a keg, and yes Rafe did make some low blows about him being a pogue from the Cut, but that was a year ago, when he was still using and while he was drunk, he’s still accountable, but he’s not that person anymore. 

You tried to get past him but he made a lame attempt at blocking your way. “I just want to go home, Jay. I don’t want to do this anymore.” You looked at him now and saw the way his face went from annoyed to apologetic. 

“That’s ok, hey, that’s fine. We don’t have to talk about it anymore.” He tried smoothing your hair back and letting his hand coast down to your neck but you moved away. “Just let me drive you home.”

“I don’t want– I’m fine, I’ll call Sarah. Just– Please.”

“Please what? I don’t know what you want.”

“I want you to stop. I want this to stop.”

“I don– honey, what do you mean?”

“I mean I can’t even breathe around you like this. It’s– It’s suffocating, Jay. I love you, you know that. I don’t know why you can’t just believe it too.” He let you walk away after that. What more was there to say. 

***Saturday***

Since you got together, the last 3 days have been the longest JJ’s gone without seeing you. He was laying on the pull out sofa backwards, his head dropped down over the foot of the bed, not caring that the mattress has sunk over the years and the black metal bar was digging into the back of his neck. He knew he shouldn’t let his pen go upside down, but he needed the distraction, he blew it down trying to fight the cloud from going up before it evaporated. 

Kiara was cross legged on the other couch, tapping through her friends’ snap stories. She still had some of the people you went to school with added. “Hey J,” she said.

“Hmm?” 

“Have you seen Sarah’s story?”

“Why would I see Sarah’s story?”

“I don’t know. You want to?”

“Not really.” He flipped over so the front of his throat was on the bar and he let out a long groan before he fixed his position. 

“She’s lookin awfully comfy up with Sarah.” He knew who she ment by “she.”

“Lemme see.”

“I’m not moving, you come here.”

He groaned again when he flipped off over the couch, like an old man. 

Kie swiped it back to the beginning and he saw the progression of you and some other girls in the back of one of their brand new broncos. The roof was off and the next one was a boomerang of your big smiles and hair blowing wild. Then another of you all at lunch, the waiter must have taken it of you. Some of your food, then the sky with your hand pointing to a cloud and your voice saying “That one looks like a chameleon. I’m telling you, look at it.” “What are you talking about?” It sounded like Rafe but Sarah kept it pointed at the sky. “You’re looking at it wrong.” It panned down to you standing behind Rafe, taking him by the shoulders and turning him in the right direction. “That looks like a dog.” It ended with you slapping him on the arm. 

The next story was Riley’s, Sarah’s cousin, after the few Kiara skipped through of just the restaurant, there was one of you and Sarah dancing in the street. It looked like it you were still just outside the restaurant, one with an overt theme of a European café. There was a street performer with his open guitar case in front of his stool, his instagram handle on a piece of cardboard tapped to the back of it. In the background, behind you two spinning each other around, it looked like Rafe threw some money in there and then said something to the busker. The next video was of Rafe playing a song that had you all laughing and spinning together. He looked away when he saw you turn your head to look at him. 

He looked different than the last time he saw him, healthier, he lost that faraway look he used to have in his eyes. He looked good, and you looked like you liked it. 

Kiara turned off her phone and shifted to look at him better. “Doesn’t matter.” She put her hand over his, “She’s just happy he’s doing better, that has nothing to do with how she feels about you.”

“I know that, I know. I just– fuck, I ruined it.”

“You didn’t ruin anything, you fucked it up a little bit, but not ruined.”

“I don’t want her to hate me.”

“I don’t think she has it in her to hate anyone, especially you.”

***The Cameron House***

Your day ended with a backyard camp out just like you used to do as kids. After all the tents were set up and Riley and Sarah kicked the boys out, you made your 9 person tent into a 5 girl paradise. There was an honest fear in all of you that all your sunset lamps and starry night projectors would overwhelm even the industrial powerstrips, but Sarah assured you, as she plugged in the fourth fan, that it’d all be fine. It was like sitting in a sunset. Pinks and peaches and bubbly orange colors everywhere you looked. Fluffy duvets lined every inch of the floor and there was no escape from all the pillows. Memoryfoam, down, throw, body, king size, every kind of pillow you could imagine stolen from every room in the house. You were between Lizzie and Sarah with Riley and Wheezie across from you. 

You always used to have a camp fire before you went back to your tents, and by the time you noticed that the sun was beginning to set from your captured sky in the tent, Rafe and the three other boys had gotten it started. 

Lizzie was handing you everyother s’more she made, which really meant that she messed every other one up and gave it to you when she didn’t want it. You were on your second when Rafe noticed you looking cold and holding your hands in front of the fire and elbowed Sarah to go get you a sweater or something. She came back and apologized if it was the wrong size, it was Rafe’s that he grew out of 4 years ago and she never grew into length-wise. “Have another, have another.” Lizzie was trying to bring another s’more to your lips. 

“I can’t, I’ll be sick if I have any more.”

“Ugh, you’re no fun.” You knew she was joking when she knocked her shoulder into yours.

“No, you’re the one trying to kill me.”

“Death by s’mores?”

“It’s an epidemic.” Wheezie said as she popped another perfectly goldened marshmallow into her mouth.

You gave Lizzie a look then moved to the bench at the side of the fire where the smoke wasn’t blowing. The only open seat was between Rafe and Jack. Let’s just hope that no one posts anything else tonight. 

“Sick of the s’mores?” Jack asked you.

“Yeah, the perfect goop in the middle can only make the charred black shell on the outside worth it so many times before it’s just not.”

“Pull it off then,” Rafe suggested.

“And lose the exhilarating crunch? Never.”

Rafe shrugged, knowing you were just going to keep going in circles, just for fun, and reached over the arm of the bench to offer you something from the cooler. “Surprise me.”

“Close your eyes then.”

“Why?”

“It needs to be a real surprise. If I got something you don’t like you’d just have me put it away and get you something else. Where’s the surprise in that?”

“Hmph.” You closed your eyes and opened your hand to accept the can, the condensation was dripping into the place where your thumb meets your hand and whatever he gave you tasted like fizzy lemon and basil. You hummed trying to figure it out without opening your eyes, in the end you gave up and read the label anyway. “I’m not gonna get high off of this, right?”

“It’s CBD.”

“I don’t know what you’re giving me.”

“I gave you a seltzer.”

“With CBD.”

“Would you be making as big a deal as this if I gave you a beer or something?”

You shrugged and he went to take your can away and replace it with a corona. “Wooah, woah, woah, who said I was done with that?”

“You.”

“No. It was good.”

“Good.” He let go and you took another sip. You took another look around at the fire and everyone around it then brought one leg up to hug against yourself. “So how’ve you been?”

“I’m alright. You?”

“Better than I’ve been in a while.”

“That’s good, I’m really happy for you.”

“Thanks…yeah.” He cracked open another can of seltzer, just a regular one. “So I hear you’re going out with that Maybank kid.”

“Don’t call him that, you know his name.”

“Sorry, JJ. How long?”

“A few months. 6 actually.”

“And he let you come out with me?”

“He didn’t let me. I dom’t need anyone to let me do anything.”

“I’m sorry, I just meant–”

“It’s fine, sorry. It’s fine.”

“Should I apologize to him?” He was looking at you but you were just looking at the fire, Jack had left you by then to put out a flaming marshmallow.

“For what?”

“I don’t know, being a dick to him for however long.”

“Probably.” You looked at him now and he looked sincere enough for you to want to continue the conversation. 

“You know that I was really in a bad place then, right? Like using every chance I got, just being a dick and having no idea what I was doing?”

“I know. Doesn’t excuse it though.”

“I know that, I do. Which is why I want to apologize. And I’m not just gonna blame my dad either though, like I should have known better than to just regurgitate all the shit he was telling be about the Cut and pogues and whatever, all that shit that doesn’t matter.”

“Yeah, I get that.” You turned so you could face him too, your leg was still up on the bench between you two.

“And I wanted to apologize to you too. I was a complete asshole to you that whole time too. I was so stupid and I shouldn’t have been messing with you when you were like 14.”

You took a deep breath before you said anything. You never really had any strong feelings about when you “dated” before, whenever you thought back to it you thought it was all just because you were young and didn’t know any better. Now that he’s saying this though, it just floods your memory of all the times he tried manipulating you into things you weren’t ready for. You never gave in and eventually he gave up and found some other girl that’d fall for the flash of an amex faster than a smile, but you never actually fell that hard to feel any overwhelming feelings about it. “Can I hug you?”

“Really?” Obviously not the reaction he was expecting. 

“Mhm.” He leaned in and you rubbed one hand up and down his back a few times. “I forgive you.”

“For real?”

“You’re trying to be better, I believe it.”

***The Chateau***

“JJ, no!” Kiara tried to go after him before John B blocked his way out the front door.

Clearly, someone was posting more videos than you knew about. Kie and JJ were just watching baby sensory videos, the ones with the bouncing vegetables, when she got a post notification. “You wanna look at it?”

He shrugged for the thousandth time that night. “Sure.”

And there was the flaming marshmallow melting on the stone and one of them trying to stomp it out with their $50 flip flop… and you in the background, first with you looking into Rafe’s eyes. Next with your arms around him and his face turned into your neck. Whether he was talking or anything else meant nothing to JJ. 

John B was enough to stop him even if he kept trying to push him out of the way. “The fuck is wrong with you, man?”

“She’s supposed to be with me, ok?” He was angry but they heard the hurt underneath. “She’s supposed to be with me and I keep– I keep fucking it up.” He beat a weak fist on John B’s chest before he took him into his arms. 

“You didn’t. You didn’t. Listen, listen, hey,” JJ finally pulled back to let John B look at him. “We’ll have her over tomorrow, yeah? Have her over, you guys can talk and figure it out?” JJ was shaking his head. “What? What is it?”

“She doesn’t want me. I fucked it all up and she doesn’t want me anymore.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Kie, show him the thing.”

“What thing?”

“Jay, I don’t think–”

“Just show him the video.”

She went through it and showed John B, she pointed out you and Rafe. “See?” JJ was about to cry again, so John B pulled him back in like a little kid.

“We’ll have her over tomorrow.”

***The Cameron House***

The fire was dying out and you and Sarah were the last ones out. Everyone else was sleeping, or at least laying down in their tents. 

“You’re still with JJ?”

“Mhm,” You nodded and took another sip from your sprite. “Actually, I don’t know. It’s been weird.”

“What do you mean?” She moved closer to your side. 

“He didn’t want me coming, first because we had a date set, then because he’s still banged up about Rafe and the stuff he used to do. Also because of the 4 dates we went on when I was like 12.” She knew you meant 14, semantics. She hated those 4 weeks, they were miserable. 

“But you still came?”

“Mhm, I haven’t seen him since Tuesday.”

“But–”

“He hates your brother.”

“He’s not the only one. But he’s gotten better.”

“I know he has, he apologized to me earlier tonight.”

“So he–”

“He want’s to apologize to JJ too. Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt you, I just…”

“It’s ok, I get it.”

“Thank you. I don’t want to mess it up with him. It’s been going so well, and he’s so wonderful when he wants to be. He’s just…he’s everything and I love it but I just can’t stand it when he gets all weird about coming to my house, he never wants to meet any of you guys or come anywhere near figure 8. I don’t feel bad about what I have, and I don’t pity him for what he has, but I just wish it didn’t matter. Like I wish no one ever told him that he’s just a ‘dirt broke pogue’ or that he’s gonna end up like his dad. He could do so so much if he wanted and I just want him to know that. I don’t want anything to hold him back and I just want to give him the whole world and make him happy but I know he won’t take it,” She put an arm around you and rubbed your shoulder that was against her chest with her other hand. You hiccuped a sob before you realized it and took a breath to collect yourself. “I don’t know if he thinks he isn’t worth it, or he doesn’t deserve it because he isn’t worth it, but I– Fuckin christ, I just want him to be ok.” Your cry became a whine like a little kid’s that doesn’t know how to get their feelings out any other way. Sarah was holding you as close as she could and rocking you side to side as you tried to decide if it would be better to just let it all out now, or try to breathe again. 

“You wanna go see him?”

“What?” You pulled back and wiped the few streaks of tears from her cheeks, you didn’t feel like you were worth crying for at the moment. 

“Do you want to go see him?” She pulled the cuff of her sweater up to wipe over your cheeks then under your nose. 

“What do you–Like right now?”

“Yes, come on,” she shook your shoulder just a bit. “We’ll take the car, go to his house.”

“Not his house. John B’s.”

“John B’s then. You want to?”

You let her pull you up from the bench and towards your shoes before you gave yourself a second to think about it.

***

The streets were nearly dead besides the few college kids speeding by you or a few pick up trucks on their way to work in the other direction. 

You caught your face in the sideview mirror, tear stained and puffy but weirdly ethereal with the way the watery tracks sparkled in the street lights you were passing at lightning speed. You looked at yourself a little too hard before you realized how ridiculous this whole thing was. 

“What the fuck are we doing?”

“What? No, no, hey, come on, don’t back out now!”

“Sarah, it’s past 2 am, this is just, god it’s so desperate.”

“I am not turning this car around.”

“I’ll jump out the window.”

“You will not!”

You looked back at where you came from, woods, long, straight, not worth the walk in any direction. “Fine.”

“Prepare yourself, we’ll be there in like 5 minutes.” With her driving, 5 became 2 and you were barely halfway though your imagined version of how this would go. 

She parked but didn’t turn the car off yet. “The lights,” you hissed at her. “You’ll wake them up.”

“And who do you want to answer the door then?” She pulled the key out and went to the front door before you could get out of your seatbelt.

Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock

“Jesus christ, Sarah,” You pulled her arm down. “You want them to think we’re a SWAT team?”

****

They ran out of drinks 4 hours ago so Kie and John B were playing an embarrassing game of cup pong with some probably a little bit expired sprite they found at the back of the fridge. Pope was showing JJ a nature he hoped would be a good enough distraction, he was getting very invested in the baby elephant’s journey, which they thought was a good sign.

Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock

All their heads shot up from whatever they were doing, it could really be anyone. Too many people trying to find them, not enough with any boundaries or respect for their circadian rhythms.

John B took a step to the door, “Wait,” JJ said, “It could be Luke.” John B nodded and JJ went into the bathroom and locked the door. 

Pope walked behind John B and nearly jumped out of his skin when another round of loud knocks came, followed by a harsh “Sarah!”

They looked at each other in confusion then opened the door.

You were there holding Sarah by the wrist, she had her fist raised to knock again, “Hi,” she said before she remembered to put his arm down. He stood to his full height and she was nothing short of stunned. I thought this was about me?! You rolled your still teary eyes and stepped forward just a little. “Can I see him?” you asked gently, knowing you were in no position to be making any demands.

“Do you really think–” –that’s a good idea, is what he was going to say in that careful tone, not wanting to hurt you or JJ, or over step on your relationship but still trying to protect his friend, doing too much at once.

“Yes.” 

There was really no room for any more arguments, he stood back to the side to let you past and you went to the bathroom door. Two gentle knocks, “JJ, I– Can we– I–” you were half a second from turning back to Sarah, crying again saying ‘I can’t do it’ but he opened the door and pulled you inside; and maybe you shouldn’t have, but you grabbed both his hands, holding them in a way that his forearms were close against your chest, maybe the weight would calm your heart down. 

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” He moved his hands to the sides of your neck, his thumbs in the space under your ear, just under your jaw. Your hands held his wrists instead. “I don’t want to fight, I saw you and Rafe and I fucking– I saw my whole life without you and I didn’t want it.”

“No, no, don’t be sorry. I don’t want you sorry, don’t be sorry.” You brushed his hair away from his sticky forehead, “I should have listened better, I should thought about what you wanted. I just want to give you everything and the feeling that I couldn’t even give you a Saturday, I–”

“It’s not your fault, I shouldn’t have asked you to chose, I don’t want you to chose between my life or yours, ok? Pick yours everytime, don’t drag yourself down for me.”

“No, no. There’s no my life or your life. Not to me, right? There’s just ours.”

‘Our life.’

“I love you,” he had to say.

“I love you too, and I never want to do that again.”

“Do what?”

“I don’t want to not see you or hear from you for 3 days, and I don’t want to have to decipher your feelings, I want you to tell me the truth. Even if you think I won’t like it.”

“I can do that, I can do all of that.” He was trying to talk fast, the faster he talked the faster he could kiss you, kiss all the feelings he didn’t know how to tell you into you. 

He moved in but you moved your head back before his lips reached yours, “Wait.”

“What? What is it?”

“I need to know that you’re not gonna do that again, I need to really know.”

“I promise, I promise you, babe, anything you want.”

“But how do I know you’ll keep it?”

“I mean it.” He took your hands again. 

“But can you–”

“Every day, I’ll prove it every day.”

“You swear?”

“On my honor as a Pogue.”

“Hmm,” you leaned into his humor now that you knew he meant it.

“What? You doubt my honor?”

“Only a little.”

“Then I swear on John B’s life. If I ever ever make you feel like I don’t care about you or like you’re doing something wrong, I will personally deliver you his heart in my hand.”

“Ugh, so graphic!”

“How else will you know I mean it?”

You moved your hand up his arm and wrapped your arms around his neck, “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

[homestuckreplay]

To be fair, you have to have a very high wisdom to understand Colonel Sassacre. The mischief is extremely nuanced, and without a solid grasp of mangrit and maturity most of the pranks will go over the typical reader’s head.

(page 759)

If I was making a webcomic, I’d probably take a well deserved few days off between story acts, but not so in Homestuck. We’re back, and kind of, sort of, unofficially, maybe, in Act 3?

For Act3posting, I’m gonna do a couple things.

- Hard cap reaction posts at 500 words. Time to get economical.

- End reaction posts with a command suggestion. I can’t access the actual suggestion box, so can’t influence the story directly, but I still have ideas I’d like to share.

Starting now.

So, there’s a message from Nanna in the front of Colonel Sassacre’s – and not just any message. I’d call this a prophecy. This is real fantasy novel territory, with battles and royalty and chosen ones and protagonists with cool dramatic titles and wise old spiritual guides who know far more than they should. I eat this stuff up even when it’s cliché. I wonder if the story within Sburb and the story outside of Sburb could be totally different genres.

Nanna says this book’s ‘journey will end on the Final Day of [her] life’, with Final Day underlined, so we know it’s plot important. This means she wrote this some time ago, already knowing about John’s future. Signing up to be a Sburb beta tester because it’s the Game of the Year no longer feels like a happenstance. This is cosmically fated somehow, which… is a little sad, because it takes away some of John and Rose’s success from them, if they didn’t get to this point in the game through skill but through destiny. I’m gonna have to get used to that concept, and start thinking through how free will can be exercised in a story that plays with time this way.

These titles are SO cool. ‘...the Heir of Breath and Seer of Light, the Knight of Time and Witch of Space…’ these fuck so hard. I want one. These probably correspond to John, Rose, Dave, and their secret fourth player Todd from Missouri, maybe in the same order we meet the characters, although maybe there will be a surprise shakearound. After all, Rose seems way more associated with darkness than light, and ‘Witch of Space’ feels like it’d fit her way better than ‘Seer of Light’. And no way does Dave have the earnestness and devotion necessary to be a good knight – John, on the other hand, could rise to that challenge.

Nanna’s ‘P.S. HOO HOO HOO!’ could indicate that she knew all along that she would become Nannasprite, and perhaps knew that she wouldn’t be able to deliver this message directly in sprite form, as it would be game spoilers. Or it could be that she always liked to say hoo hoo hoo, carrying the spirit of the harlequin even without being prototyped with the doll. Personally, I hope both are true.

According to the Adventure Map, Act 3 is called ‘Insane Corkscrew Haymakers’. This is really different from the first two act titles, which are both very literary sounding, have musical allusions, and indicate a setup and inciting incident of a story, respectively. A haymaker is either ‘a powerful blow with the fist’ or ‘a machine for curing hay in rainy weather’, and this is not a farm story, so my guess is the punch. Act 1’s title related to John and Act 2’s to Rose, so this should be Dave’s, especially as his narrative is often treated less seriously. Perhaps these insane corkscrew haymakers happen during his rooftop battle with his bro?

> John: Find a prank to play on Nannasprite.

[planet-crait]

I lied again. We’re back on episode 6 because I can finally watch it lolz.

Aww Hazel and Jasmine are having a sleepover. I can’t recall the last time I had a sleepover…. Probably was like middle school.

Regardless of my terrible social life they’re both being silly and adorable and I just love that. Then hanging around like bats is both cute and terrifying all at once. How does Jasmine out the cucumbers right on her eyeballs that would hurt. So much. Oh yeah I was right this is where most likely the new girl whose name I still don’t know yet probably joins the friend group.

This is another painful reminder though of the fact that Chester and AJ…never seemed to care all that much about Timmy. We don’t see them really hang out outside of school and sometimes it felt like they where only friends because they’re all social outcasts rather then actually getting along which is just really sad and definitely doesn’t remind me at all of my own childhood nope not one bit (do you believe me).

It is nice to see Hazel having friends that care about her and are involved in her life. It’s not only nice to see but can add some stakes to putting her at risk of accidentally revealing Cosmo and Wanda. I don’t know if that aspect will come into play but it could.

Wait wait Winn is non binary. I love that oh my gosh. I’m loving this rep we’re seeing in the show just so casually in it. Like no one seems to be misgendering them which is great (fuck did I misgender them my bad yall.) I do think kids should be allowed to explore their gender identity and have some wiggle room to see who they are and I love the show is allowing kids to do that.

Dev trying to one up Hazel’s sleep over is hilarious. Oh wait Jasmine what are you doing girl?? Hazel is your friend! Hazel uh don’t lie, that’s not going to win over friends. Besides I thought you didn’t care about being cool? You need to be honest. Also would people really think a hotel is fancier than a mansion?

Umm what about the other people who live in that complex won’t they…notice? I mean I guess Hazel realized her parents but what about everyone else? The chihuahua’s guarding the literal safe are hilarious but uh if her parents have to leave won’t they notice?

Speaking of notice wasn’t there an episode about Jasmine coming over to Hazels place? Or maybe they went over to Jasmines? I’m not sure. Oh nope she was how is Hazel going to explain this away? But see I mentioned earlier the friends being closer thing could cause some issues? I love the potential stress from Jasmine knowing Hazel is lying and she can’t come clean because she’ll lose Cosmo and Wanda. And potentially Jasmine since their friendship started because of a wish? Maybe? That side of it goes a little more into uncharted territory that’s for sure.

I am no architect but uh I don't think columns would ever have a supporting beam like that. I know its for Winn to stake off of but they could have done something else to make that work.

Also also was this just a conservative Christian parents thing or was it more common before for girls and boy to not be allowed at the same sleepover? Just genuinely curious for such young kids its weird to do that sure but I get the concerns as they get older.

Okay don’t judge me I’m doing research on skateboarding for uh a fic I’m working on and holy shit that kickflip is an insanely hard move to pull off while stationary like shit it’s not realistic but they’re an incredibly good skateboarder. Even Cosmo and Wanda are impressed.

Okay so I’ve worked in hotels I have a degree in hospitality and two employees does not a hotel make. Not even a cheap motel could run with two employees much less a five star hotel. I could go into a whole tangent about how hotels get their five star rating and it’s not reviews like a lot of people think it’s actually about service level and I won’t dive in too deep here but no. Two employees would not even come close to any sort of reasonable staffing levels which if Dev shows up I imagine he’ll know something is off fast. Also uh they went way to overboard on the chandeliers lolz.

Winn seems like a genuinely cool kid like they aren’t put off by Jasmine and Hazels excitement and genuinely is happy to answer questions and share about themselves. A question I don’t think anyone will ask except me, does Winn dye their hair or is it supposed to be naturally purple? I am very invested in this question.

Aww Hazel thanking Cosmo and Wanda is just adorable and I love their fist bump when she walks away. Huh I expected Dev to crash the sleepover but apparently not. Maybe it’s me knowing the depth he’ll be getting later on but I kind of almost feel bad for Dev right now. He’s a jerk currently but he’s also a kid of a rich family he’s got to have problems from that.

WHY IS HAZEL FLYING THE HELICOPTER? Girl what are you doing??!!!?? Cosmo and Wanda this isn’t proper Godparenting!!! And this is why you don’t out chandeliers in helicopters.

Okay I laughed when I saw the sign for uninhabited forest animals too sign. I just. I don’t know why I was about to ask “what about the inevitable damage crashing the helicopter will cause” and the show immediately went “nope it’s fine I know it’s implausible but it’s fine”.

I am starting to wonder how this wish will go “wrong” so to speak. Every episode so far it has and I have a few guesses but I’m not really sure what will be the thing that makes it all go wrong and how it will all resolve.

Aww they’re friends. Ahh the good old days when hanging out for like a couple days f hours made you immediate friends (toobadthosedisntlast) ehem. Oh huh I wonder if this news broadcast will cause the issue?

Ohh huh not any of my suspects most likely. Seems Hazel may let the game get to her head which is how this went for Timmy. I mean sure it makes sense but I did enjoy the show not retreading the exact same ground even if this is a good lesson to remember. I’m not at the end yet just reading the signs of what probably will happen.

Oh huh I may have been wrong again it may be less fame gets to her head and more the stress gets to her. Maybe I should stop trying to predict and just see what happens.

Ohh poor Winn and Jasmine trying to play board games and being blown off with over and over again. Oh I like Cosmo and Wanda calling out Hazel. I mean running a hotel is a lot of work but she’s a kid and she should be hanging out with her friends.

Wait did Cosmo and Wanda send them to SPACE WITH NO GEAR???? Oh they are dead. Vicious. (Whycoulsnttheydothattotimmysparents) ehem wow I have a bad cough today ignore that it’s over text. But see this is why you don’t only have two employees it’s way too much work. I guess it’s technically three people but that’s still not nearly enough people.

I’m glad they forgave Hazel pretty quickly. I am not a fan of when people demand groveling for forgiveness especially since she wasn’t like mean to them directly more got caught up in other things which while not great isn’t like as mean as what happened with Timmy. Though. Wouldn’t everyone notice the apartments changing from a hotel to a messy apartment? With the episode ending I feel like that’s gonna get yadda yadda’d past. Poor Hazels dad. He’s right but no one is listening to him. Why didn’t the emu vanish as well why did Cosmo have to toss it out? I have questions.

Yeah Dev sucks but oof getting chased by an animal is uh terrifying. Overall I think this is my new favorite episode so far. The writing flows better things that happen overall flow well and just works overall. I was way off base on how things would go wrong with this wish but that’s okay sometimes, they didn’t mislead or anything I was just wildly guessing lolz.

Onto episode uh 8? Oh jeez jumping out of order is getting so confusing lolz. Hopefully this is the last time I have to do that.

[finniestoncrane]

Hello. I am here to request Yandere Ozzie being overprotective of his sweet princess 🗣️ Perhaps she is kidnapped by someone in hopes of extorting Oswald and get more than a pretty penny out of him but him being the perfect man he is does not lose a single cent and gets his baby back but not before beating the crap out of the kidnappers for hurting her. Thank you and have a great day, friend 🫂

Rescue Me

Farrell!Penguin x Female!Reader, word count: 1.2k what if i did that but made it two parts and i am incredibly slow at getting to the conclusion of things and i'm also very sorry about it anon but you should know that already because this request is from october (i am so sorry i knew this prompt was good so it needed to have justice done to it) 🥴💜🐧 request info • prompt list • send me a request • kofi • masterlist minors DNI!! 🔞 cw: angst, threats, kidnapping, sad ozzie boo ;-;

“Uh huh. Sure. Uh-huh. And just so I know I’ve given you the benefit of the doubt, because I’m a nice guy. You know who you’re talking to here, huh?”

Two goons on either side of the office door watched Oswald as he tapped his fingers casually on his desk. He held the phone to his right ear, listening patiently. One of the men who watched had answered. Taken the brief message, and then followed the instructions.

“We’ve got your boss’ girl. We’re looking to exchange her for a reasonable sum, given that she’s tainted goods. You taking all of this down? Ok, go hand the phone to your boss and tell him we want to speak to him.”

“Oh, is that so? Ok. That’s all fine on my end. I’ll bring the money. You bring my girl. We’ll see how smooth things go. You better not waste my fuckin’ time neither.”

Oswald hung up the call, rubbing his face in his palms before he tossed the phone against the wall. He got up from his desk, grabbing his long leather jacket from the coat stand. A cigar, the metal briefcase from the safe in the closet, his own cell phone, and a handgun. That was all he was taking with him.

“You’re going personally, boss?”

“Course I am! And don’t neither of you two clowns follow me. I’m going alone.”

Brushing past them on his way out of the door, Oswald felt calm, collected, but he took a deep breath in before he started his car and began heading to the meeting point. He drove fast, but not fast enough that any cops would bother to interfere. He wanted to get there safe and sound, as quickly as possible. Your life wasn’t in danger, no one was that stupid, but he was still worried.

Pulling up to the farthest end of the docks, territory he felt safe in, Falcone’s territory at that, he noticed another car with dimmed headlights. With an air of confidence he didn’t need to muster up, he got out of his own vehicle, walking steadily towards them, making a concerted effort to conceal his limp as best as he could. He worried it made him look weak, like an easier target. Like he could be toppled over much easier than was likely.

A voice from the shadows, calling out to him. One he only recognised from the phone call, unable to place it to anyone he knew, or knew of.

“You actually came alone?”

“What can I say, I’m a man of my word.”

“Seems risky.”

“Should I be worried? This is business, chief. And I’d like to get on with it.”

“Not much for small talk, hm? What difference does it make how quick we commence the business? The damage has been done.”

Oswald narrowed his eyes, taking another step forward, hand reaching for his pocket, ready to grab his gun if need be.

“Listen, business is business. I’m a busy guy. I know how this shit goes. But I swear to you, if you touched a single hair on her body I will take everything you have and everyone you have ever loved.”

“Relax, Penguin.”

He flinched at the word. Fingers relaxing and tensing by his side.

“Toss the money over and you can have her. In exactly the same condition she was in when we brought her here.”

The briefcase landed with a metallic clunk on the ground, bouncing slightly before settling askew on the wet ground. The stranger took a few steps towards it, stopping when Oswald shouted out over the short distance between them.

“Don’t you touch that thing with your filthy funckin’ hands until I’ve seen her.”

Hands up, displaying his intentions, the stranger clicked his fingers and summoned two men from the vehicle, who dragged out another figure from the back seat. Clad in a large, ill-fitting stained shirt, no shoes, and with a bag over their head, they were walked over to the stranger who pushed them forwards, sending them stumbling into Oswald’s arms. He brought them in close, holding them behind him.

“Hey, you’re ok now, just keep quiet and follow my lead, kid.”

The stranger clicked open the briefcase, scoffing as they realised that there was nothing inside. But by the time he had glanced up towards Oswald, he was met with the handgun pointing at him.

“Shameful tactics, Oswald.”

“This isn’t my girl.”

Shaking his head, the stranger smiled, standing up slowly as Oswald traced his movements with the gun.

“Of course it isn’t. Looks like we both came up short on our ends of the bargain.”

“You bring her to me, or I swear to god!”

Oswald was shouting now, his voice breaking as he tried to conceal the raw emotion. Fear, rage, a deep sorrow, panic and worry.

“How about this time, you come to us. You bring the money to my warehouse, and we’ll give you what you want this time. Promise.”

He winked, a cruel grin briefly flashing over his up until now bland and neutral face.

“I don’t even know who you are or where you operate from. How am I supposed to find you?”

“Think of a way. You’ve got twenty-four hours.”

As he walked to the car, entering it as his men held the door open for him, he called back.

“And don’t worry about it, you’ll know who I am soon enough. Everyone will.”

As their car sped away, Oswald turned his attentions to the figure behind him. Peeling the bag slowly from her head, he stood back, giving her enough space to get accustomed to her surroundings. It didn’t take long, and before he knew it she had her arms around him, thanking him, sobbing into his jacket.

“It’s ok, hey. You’re fine. I recognise you, kid. You one of my dancers?”

“Y-yeah Mister Cobblepot, sir. I… I was coming out of work with your-”

“They took her too? You saw her!? You gotta let me know if they hurt her, ok?”

“They didn’t hurt none of us, she’s ok. Just… scared Mister Cobblepot. We all were.”

Sighing, trying to hold back the tears in a bid to remain the safe space for the girl he now held in the freezing cold, Oswald tried to think on his feet, willing his brain to move past the initial flurry of pain and anxiety that flooded him.

“Listen, sweetheart. I’ll get you home. We’ll make sure you’re safe, ok? I’ll get one of my guys on your door and he’ll stick with you till we have this creep dealt with. But you gotta help me. You think you can do that?”

“A-anything, Mister Cobblepot. I owe you.”

“You don’t owe me, kid. But I need to know where you were. Anything you can tell me.”

She started to speak but he silenced her with a gesture.

“Not right now, you need to be warm, safe, before you even think about doing anything else. You need a drink. We’ll go back to the club, ok?”

Nodding quietly, sniffling back some tears, Oswald’s new ward got into the back seat of the car, resting her head against the window as Oswald drove back to the club to formulate his plan.

Everyone would know who this stranger was. He’d be the guy that Oswald Cobblepot strung up in pieces across Gotham. They idiot who crossed the wrong man.

[munson-blurbs]

lol I got called mentally unwell and told to find a therapist bc I very hesitantly said this just slightly sours my view of him a bit. It’s a little sad to see a few blogs I really admired being kinda casually cruel and mocking people who have shared things in a tame and measured way but alas. I’ve unfollowed some people and wanted to recommend any other people in the fandom who feel a similar level of just disappointed to not try and argue or debate with blogs bc you’re not going to change anyone’s take and you’ll just get like kinda callous mocking responses so just control your space and unfollow folks 🩶

I hope your inbox stays tame and thank you for being really thoughtful and empathetic always bug xxxx

He’s a grown man who makes his own choices, and while we can’t change them, we can express disappointment. Honestly, this is probably the best place to do it. We’re not sliding into his DMs or commenting on his IG photos and crossing into that parasocial territory. We’re expressing our opinions on fan blogs—and if he’s on here reading Eddie Munson fanfic, he’s got bigger fish to fry than this relationship.

This should go without saying—and this is not aimed at you, anon; I just figured this is a good place to segue:

Do NOT send either of them DMs or comment on their socials sending hate about this. Do not send death threats. We are entitled to our disappointment but it is wholly unacceptable to express it with violent or hateful rhetoric.

[casualminerva]

"I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of eternity with somebody, you want the rest of eternity to start as soon as possible."*

Why GO3 needs to end with a holiday episode

This post starts, as it will end, with Neil Gaiman. Neil, allegedly, has said that Good Omens is a rom-com. Maybe his exact words were “love story,” but let’s not quibble. This piqued my interest because face it, rom-coms are few and far between right now (except for K-dramas, where they are plentiful and quite wonderful, if a bit draggy at 16 episodes). And in my mind the world would be a lot better right now if the Western media giants would stop greenlighting every stabby, bloody, nihilistic cop power fantasy that emerges from the sad resentful minds of perpetually adolescent cishet male producers, and run with romantic comedies by the bucketful, especially ones that will right the wrongs of the ‘90s rom-com golden era. 

Good Omens is one of those, definitely. Our lovers are non-human, gender fluid, older. But the rules of rom-coms are still in place. Season 1 had the meet cute, the clash of opposing life views that gradually softens, our couple being forced to work together with comic results, a brief traumatic separation, and a reuniting in mutual appreciation, if not love. 

Season 2 was the deepening of everything, the camera documenting their faces caressing each other, the mutual rescuing, the “our side won’t like that” restraints dropping, and all of a sudden they’re touching each other out of both affection and habit, until a shitty choice arises to end it all, with a climactic kiss punctuating a truly wrenching moment of, I don’t know yet if you can call it noble idiocy, but it was a wrecking ball moment that told us they’re gonna be separated, with their hearts and ours broken, for a good long time.

Now to S3 (please please Amazon, renew). Season 3 can go so many wild directions since we’re in Second Coming territory, but for our lovers, it’s going to be dreadful to watch them separated. Our hearts are going to be in our throats every time they’re potentially in the same scene together. We’re going to see them alone, doing their own thing a lot, as once again they try to save the world, this time without each other, perhaps on opposite sides.

So what is it that finally breaks impasses and brings rom-com lovers back into each other’s arms? It’s not sudden rain showers or cotillion balls, obviously. It’s the HOLIDAYS. Christmas and Hanukkah and the grandest of them all, New Year’s Eve. It's hard to think of a rom-com that doesn’t have a confession, reunion or long overdue kiss against the backdrop of tipsy NYE celebrants or the sight of snow through glowing windows. It's the ultimate serotonin release mechanism, it conquers worry, it heals heartache, it just -- works.

I can imagine Neil and John Finnemore having a wonderful time playing with, twisting and subverting the holiday trope, all the while using that same trope to delicately land the plane of Aziraphale and Crowley’s fraught relationship.

We already know that the subject of Christmas lights is a sticky wicket for the Whickber Street Traders and Shopkeepers Association. A possible incentive to get Aziraphale back in the bookshop? We also can guess the effect Auld Lang Syne, the most shamelessly sentimental song in any film in all of recorded history, would have on a certain Scottish-leaning demon who has watched his share of Richard Curtis movies. I hope the Bentley will play it for the two of them (not the bebop version though) because, well, vavoom. We will all be piles of sobbing goo.

There’s so much material. The birth of Jesus as a minisode (welcome back, Gabriel!), other biblical and religious stuff, carolers (demons or angels or both?), Dickens references, parties, dancing. Finally, a gentle snow transforming Whickber Street into a dreamland, as our two tired but eternally hopeful ineffable lovers reunite once again, worse for wear but a little wiser, put aside their differences for good, and seal the deal with a really, really fucking GOOD, LONG, KISS. 

So … anyway. I started writing this post as kind of a joke, but accidentally made myself a believer. Oh, and I said the post ends with Neil Gaiman, because it does. Every New Year, Neil writes a tender and beautiful message of love, hope, and new beginnings to his readers. Here’s trusting he does the same for Good Omens 3, and that God, wherever She is, blesses us, every one.

*Title quote pays homage to When Harry Met Sally, the greatest of all rom-coms (fight me).

[writingwhimsey]

All's Fair In Love & War- Motonari

Chapter 4

After making hasty preparations, Jiro and I set out with the messenger from Azuchi along with a small contingent of my forces, leaving the bulk behind to protect our land. The messenger filled us in more along the way. Apparently, a long wandering Oda ally had returned with news of the attack after having been under cover for some time.

After days of hard riding, we managed to arrive the night before the attack was to be happening. The castle town was already being evacuated when we arrived. We were quickly led to the audience hall for war council. Everyone was gathered, including Masamune and Ieyasu who had also been summoned from their lands.

“Good to see you, lass.” Masamune greeted, a glint in his blue eye.

“It was good of you to come, Ava.” Nobunaga declared.

“Wait…she’s Lord Yamada?”

I turned at the sound of the unfamiliar voice to see a large man with flashy clothes and bright red hair. “Yes, I am. Do you have a problem with that?” I asked.

He just grinned at me. “Not at all. I was just surprised. Hope you’re as good in a fight as your reputation says.”

“I’m even better.” I replied as I moved to take my seat.

“Let’s get down to business.” Hideyoshi lightly scolded. “We have an impending attack.”

“So, what is going on?” I asked.

Nobunaga motioned to Keiji. “So, I’ve been in enemy territory for a while.” Keiji said, taking his cue. “When I was there, they were bringing in some kind of big foreign weapon. They were planning to attack. I don’t know all the details, but I know they’re coming and they’ll be attacking tomorrow.”

“We’ve evacuated the castle town to be sure our citizens are safe.” Hideyoshi spoke up. 

“While the rest of us stay here to defend the castle.” Masamune continued.

“We’ve determined that the attack will most likely come from here.” HIdeyoshi said, gesturing to a place on the map.

“I am the intended target as we can gather.” Nobunaga said, a smirk on his face.

I nodded. It made sense. I couldn’t help but to wonder if Motonari was somehow behind this attack. “Do we know exactly who is planning the attack?” I asked.

“I never got close enough to see the guy in charge.” Keiji answered, shaking his head. 

“We likely won’t find out until the attack.” Ieyasu grumbled. “When we capture the idiot brave enough to try us.”

I have a feeling I know who the idiot is…and sad to say he’s not much of an idiot. Chaos incarnate, but not an idiot. I thought, though I kept my thoughts to myself. I had long ago learned how to keep my thoughts and emotions from showing on my face.

“It matters not who our foe is right now. All that matters is that we will defeat them.” Nobunaga declared.

We continued discussing our plans for the attack and coming up with various strategies depending on what the attack was. It honestly seemed like it wasn’t that much later, even though it was the next night, we were all standing guard in front of Azuchi castle. We were all fully armored and our weapons at the ready. Torches and the moon lit up the night.

“Be ready. The attack will come any moment.” Nobunaga declared.

“I’m ready. Looking forward to fighting with you again, lass.” Masamune declared as he stood next to me.

“Just make sure not to get in my way.” I replied, giving him a wink.

“My lord, is this really a time to be joking around?” Jiro asked me as he stood at my other side.

“No need to be a wet blanket, Jiro.” I replied. “Besides you know I fight better when I’m relaxed.”

“You really do fit in with all of us, don’t you?” Keiji asked, grinning at me.

I shrugged. “You mean because we’re all equally crazy? Yeah.”

It was at that moment we all heard the sound of something whistling through the air. Then there was a crash and boom behind us. We all looked up to see the tenshu having been blown to bits. We all looked around, trying to determine where the sound came from.

“It came from that direction.” Nobunaga declared, pointing.

We all followed his line of vision and could see a trail of smoke illuminated in the night. It was coming from the woods beyond Azuchi. “That’s some distance.” Hideyoshi declared.

“We send scouts and by the time they get there, whoever fired will be gone.” Mitsuhide agreed.

“But they may leave some clues behind.” Hideyoshi said.

“Mitsuhide, Ava, I want you two to go and investigate.” Nobunaga ordered.

“Of course, my lord.” Mitsuhide agreed.

“On it.” I replied.

“Everyone else, be ready for another attack.” Nobunaga said.

I sheathed my sword as Mitsuhide carried his rifle and the two of us headed for the stables, hopping on horses and riding out to the forest. It didn’t take too long to reach our destination, but as predicted… “No one remains.” I said as I hopped down and tied up my horse.

“No, but we should find something.” Mitsuhide said, hopping down as well and beginning to examine our surroundings.

We both carried lanterns to look around. We could see footprints. “It looks like there was a small group.” I said, judging by the number of footprints.

“And they were hauling something VERY heavy around.” Mitsuhide said, pointing to some tracks in the ground that were from a wagon.

“At least they left us something to follow.” I replied.

“Yes, it was nice of them.” Mitsuhide agreed.

We both went to hop back up onto our horses to follow the trail and that was when I noticed two other sets of footprints going in a different direction from the tracks. “It looks like the party split up.” I said to Mitsuhide.

He turned to see the same tracks I was looking at. “Indeed they did. I bet those would be the masterminds behind the attack.”

I nodded my agreement. “Shall we split up?” I asked.

“Yes, let’s.” Mitsuhide agreed.

Mitsuhide took the trail after the weapon and me following the trail that I imagined would lead to Motonari and whoever else he was working with. I was surprised and not surprised when the trail met back up with whoever Mitsuhide had followed…we ended up in a port city.

“I’m willing to bet whoever it was went on a ship.” Mitsuhide said, once we met back up.

I nodded. “Most likely.”

We discussed further plans and split up, trying to find anyone who had seen anything and records of who was docked at the port. I was walking through the port on high alert, when I felt a tug on my sleeve. I was turning, ready to punch whoever, when I looked down to see a small child tugging on my sleeve.

“What…”

“Sho is looking for you. Said to have you follow me.” The little girl was then taking my hand and tugging.

After a moment of hesitation I followed her, though I kept my guard up. I followed the girl into a side alley and soon saw a shadowy figure in the moonlight…I knew exactly what was up when I saw the flash of silver hair.

“Heh, good work, kid.” Motonari said to the girl, tossing a small pouch to her.

The little girl nodded and ran off. I glared at him. “I take it you’re behind everything that happened tonight.” I stated.

Motonari grinned at me. “Not solely but yeah.” He replied. “How’d it look up close?”

“A big hole in the castle, big whoop.” I replied. “I’ve seen worse…hell I’ve done worse.”

Motonari chuckled. “I’m you’ll be thinkin’ different come mornin’ light.” He said. 

“What do you want?” I asked, my hand still resting on the hilt of my sword.

“Just ta let ya know how ta find me.” Motonari replied. “I’ll be stayin’ nearby fer a while. Need ya to report to me every day.”

“Even if I have nothing?”

“Oh, there’s always somethin’ m’lady. You should know that better than anybody.” He was then leaning forward.

Instinctively, I leaned back. Then a gasp escaped my lips as I felt something sliding between my breasts. Was Motonari really touching me?! And there?! And why was a pleasant shiver running down my spine at that thought?! I shook that thought from my head as I looked down to see he had stuck a folded piece of paper in my cleavage. “You…”

Motonari grinned. “It’s a map. Memorize it and burn it. Shows ya where ya can meet me, pequena princesa.”

I instantly pulled out my sword and pointed it at his throat. “You ever do something like that again and I’m cutting your throat out.”

Motonari just grinned at me. “Ya say that, but I’m pretty sure ya liked it. Been a while fer ya, ain’t it? Maybe on one o’ yer visits ta me, I can remind ya what it feels like.”

“Fuck you.”

“That’s what I’m offerin’.” Motonari replied, still grinning.

“Please, like you could keep up with me,” I replied, rolling my eyes. I kept my sword pointed at his throat as I moved the letter, tucking it into the folds of my clothes. “I’d better be getting back. I swear, I will finish you.”

“Oh, please do, girlie.” Motonari replied.

I rolled my eyes. Yeah I walked into that one. “I hate you.” I said before sheathing my sword and turning to walk away.

“Whatever ya say, m’lady.” Motonari called after me and I could still see his grin in my mind’s eye.

Ugh that…oh how I hated him.

Motonari…

Motonari watched Ava walk away, a smirk on his face. He had to admit he loved getting under her skin. He could still feel the echo of the cold steel tip of her sword at his throat. “Hehe, glad ta see she don’t change.” He murmured. 

Of course, he would be lying if he were to say he didn’t enjoy her reaction. “She practically jumped outta her skin when she thought I’d touched ‘er.” He continued to speak to himself as he melted into the shadows. “Hate’s a strong word when she reacts like that.” He muttered thinking back to the way she had shivered. 

“Maybe I will find a way to have some more fun with her, least before I cut her loose.” He continued to muse as he slunk through the streets, making his way to his hideout. “Least I know I got new ways ta mess with her.”

[bornonthesavage]

Tell Me "Don't", So I Can Crawl Back In Part 9

Part 8  AO3

That week at school, Steve was glad that things seemed relatively normal. Saturday had been great, a total success in his books, even if it had taken a slight detour into a territory he hadn’t planned to explore. The truth was, if he hadn’t been high, he probably wouldn’t have offered to jack Eddie off. It wasn’t that he had a problem with it. It was just… Their friendship was so new, and he still didn’t really know where Eddie’s boundaries were. Because sure, he and Tommy had done it plenty, but that was different. They’d known each other for years.

There had been a pretty big chance that it could have blown up right in his face. It was just that when Eddie had mentioned being a virgin, a fact Steve still couldn’t fully believe, his stoned brain hadn’t been able to stop thinking about how sad it was that nobody had ever touched Eddie before. Eddie was so sweet and funny, he deserved to feel good. Even if that was just with the help of a friend. And Steve wasn’t going to lie, it had felt pretty damn amazing for him as well.

He'd received plenty of hand jobs from girls, and a few from Tommy, but it had felt way different with Eddie. His hands had been a little rough with callouses, probably from playing the guitar, and the rings had added a sensation he’d never felt before. It had been rough and firm and a little erratic. To be honest, Steve hadn’t really been able to stop thinking about it. But he wasn’t going to bring it up again, not unless Eddie did. He didn’t want his new friend to think he was using him.

All week at school, Steve had looked for any sign that Eddie was uncomfortable. But he seemed fine. Maybe Steve caught him staring a little more, but that was just what Eddie did. He stared and smiled and flirted with everyone. It was just who he was.

“So, my advice worked?” Dustin asked on Thursday afternoon, after Steve had picked him up from the arcade.

Steve grinned. “Yeah, it did! I actually think I’m killing it with this whole friendship thing. Eddie seemed to have fun on Saturday.”

Dustin hummed as he ripped open a pack of Red Vines. “What did you guys do?”

“Oh, you know, just normal friend stuff. We watched some movies, ordered in pizza, had a few beers.” He obviously left out the other, less appropriate, things.

“Ok, cool, so you’ve initiated phase two. Now for phase three.”

Steve scrunched up his nose. “Wait, there are phases? Since when?”

Dustin rolled his eyes. “Since now. Keep up Steve. Phase one was you hanging out with him and his other friends. Phase two was you two hanging out on your own at your house. Now you two need to go out somewhere to complete the bonding.”

“Jesus, dude, I don’t think it’s that serious. Besides, we are going out this Saturday. We’re going to the drive-in.”

Dustin hummed again.

Steve narrowed his eyes, glancing at him out of the corner of his eye. “What was that? Why are you humming? Are you judging my plan?”

“No, no, not judging,” he said, holding up his hands. “It’s just, is that all you two are going to do? Watch movies? That doesn’t seem very conductive to getting closer as friends. You guys have to like, talk and shit, if you want to really bond.”

“I guess that makes sense,” Steve muttered. “But we already made these plans. I can’t just change them now.”

“Well yeah, don’t change your plans. Just, think about next time. Do something with him that’s a little more… interactive. Something you would both like.”

Steve huffed. He’d been trying to think of other places to go, but so far he’d been coming up with a blank. Most girls he took out were perfectly happy with dinner and a movie. But it made sense, if he was trying to take this deeper than surface level.

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll come up with something.”

He dropped Dustin off at home, waving at Claudia through the passenger window, before heading home. The house was dark when he pulled into the driveway, as per usual. There was nobody waiting at home for him. He hoped Dustin appreciated how lucky he was to have a mom like Claudia.

Once inside, he climbed the stairs with heavy feet. It was only a little after eight thirty, but he’d had a long day. He’d begun going on runs each morning before school, waking up at five thirty to jog a mile and a half around the neighborhood. Part of it was because he figured if he was going to wake up that early, he may as well do something with his time. More often than not, he was awoken by nightmares that left him screaming. The demo-dogs, chasing him and the kids through the tunnels, were a popular horror show his brain seemed to enjoy replaying. Only in his nightmares, there was never an escape. Just endless grey caverns and the snarls of monster behind them. So, yeah, the running helped.

He ripped off his shirt as soon as he got to his room and dropped onto his bed, wiggling out of his jeans as he got comfortable.  The room was cool, edging just a little into cold, so he pulled the comforter up and wrapped it around his shoulders. Sleep came quickly.

The first thing Steve became aware of was that he was in a bed. It didn’t appear to be his bed, though, as he looked around the room. But that wasn’t important. What was important was that there was a hand on his chest, slowly tracing a path down to his stomach. A warm mouth pressed a kiss to his hip, making Steve jerk. Ah, so that’s what was happening. He slid his own hand down to run his fingers through a mop of brown curls.

“That feels nice, baby,” Steve murmured.

The other person hummed; the sound deeper than Steve had expected. They looked up to meet Steve’s eye, and a jolt of something raced through him. It wasn’t a girl at all. It was Eddie. Eddie, who smirked up at him as he sunk his teeth into the flesh of Steve’s thigh, making him gasp.

In the back of Steve’s mind, he knew he should be freaking out about this. That this wasn’t something he normally did. But all he was able to feel in that moment was unbelievably horny. So what if he’d never done this before? This just felt right. And hey, Eddie wasn’t freaking out. Steve might as well go along with it.

“Eddie,” he said, hist voice coming out raspy. “That feels good.”

Eddie grinned, showing off his dimples. Cute, his mind supplied. “That’s how it’s supposed to feel, Stevie. Are you going to be a good boy for me?”

He might have been embarrassed by the sound he let out at that if he wasn’t already so turned on. “Yeah, Eds, I’ll be so good. I promise. Just, please, touch me.”

“I am touching you.”

Steve whined. “More. I want more.”

“Mm, so needy. Someone might think you were the virgin here.”

Ah, that’s right. Eddie was a virgin. Steve should be doing more, something to make this a good first experience for Eddie. But he didn’t seem capable of moving any more than the slow writhing he was currently doing.

“Eddie, come-come up here. Please, let me see you.”

The other boy ignored his pleading, instead continuing his press slow kisses onto Steve’s stomach and legs.

“No, Eddie, please. Come here. Please, please let me—

“Kiss you.”

Steve awoke to his own voice, needy even in sleep. It took a moment for the heavy fog of sleep to ease from his brain, for him to realize that he’d been dreaming. It took another few seconds for the confusion and embarrassment to settle in. He’d just had a sex dream about Eddie. He had wanted to kiss Eddie. The ghost sensation of Eddie’s lips on his skin, of his large hand on his chest, made warmth flood Steve’s face. Huh.

It wasn’t like he’d never had a sex dream about a friend before. It was pretty normal, actually. Hell, he’d even had one about Jonathan once. But usually, they were vague. In his dreams, he had never begged another man to kiss him. Never felt a burning need to make it good for them, to show them that he could make it good.

Maybe it was because he knew now that Eddie was a virgin. Maybe it, like, engaged the protective part of his brain. Now, his psyche was trying to tell him that because he cared about Eddie, he wanted his first time to be good. It made sense, he supposed. He’d always been a little bit vain. Who better to show Eddie a good time than himself? Which, yeah, that was something he was never going to admit out loud. Hand jobs were one thing. But sex with another guy? Yeah, that wasn’t something he’d ever thought about before. He couldn’t let Eddie know. He would totally freak out and never want to hang out with him again. So, right. No making this weird. He could do that. He could be so normal.

  Eddie stared into the endless swirling vortex that was his cereal and contemplated how he’d gotten to this point in his life. He might not be a genius, but for the most part he considered himself to be a pretty savvy and intelligent person. Apparently not, seeing as he was allowing a goddamn straight boy to ruin his life. It was fucking embarrassing.

All week, he’d had to pretend like everything was super chill and normal. Meanwhile, in his brain, he’d been slowly spiraling into a chaotic mess. Because Steve was just so chill. On Monday, he’d waltzed right up to Eddie like nothing out of the ordinary had happened. And hell, maybe for Steve, nothing had. Because apparently, Steve got off with all his buddies! And now, somehow someway, that included Eddie. As if Steve hadn’t been the first boy to ever touch him like that.

And the worst thing? Eddie could not. Stop. Thinking about it. Every night he laid in bed and remembered the way Steve’s hand had felt wrapped around his cock, the way he’d stroked so confidently. The way he’d looked, with his mouth partially open and those big pretty eyes half hooded with what looked like desire. But fuck, maybe that was just Steve’s ‘getting off’ face. It was absolutely maddening. And Eddie shouldn’t want it to happen again. He should tell Steve that he wasn’t interested in doing those things with him. You know, like a liar.

But that was probably the right thing to do. Because clearly, he wasn’t capable of doing things in half measures. Maybe if he wasn’t a needy, clingy, pathetic mess, he could allow himself to have something like this. For some people, this was probably the best of both worlds! He could be friends with Steve, hang-out and have a good time, and then get off whenever he wanted. But Eddie knew himself. He was going to want more. He always wanted more. And with Steve, that was goddamn inevitable.

And yet, like the fool that he was, Eddie knew he wouldn’t say no if Steve offered again. No, if Steve looked at him with those big pretty eyes, he would fold like a fucking lawn chair. Because, and he could not iterate this enough, he couldn’t stop thinking about it. Shit, he’d already had two wet dreams, with Steve as the main star, in the last week alone. So, yeah. Basically he was screwed.

“Fuck!” he screamed, his voice echoing around the small space of the trailer’s kitchen.

Wayne jolted from where he’d been reclined in front of the tv, a hand flying to his chest. What a drama queen. “Jesus Christ, boy! Are you trying to give me a heart attack?”

Eddie rolled his eyes. “If I haven’t given you one yet, I think you’ll be okay.”

“I swear to god,” Wayne mumbled, shaking his head. “You’ve taken a full decade off my life expectancy.”

“Oh please, you know I keep you young.”

Wayne huffed, finally seeming to calm down. “What are you shouting about anyways?”

At the reminder, Eddie dropped his face onto the table with a heavy thunk. “Steve Harrington.”

“Harrington?” Wayne asked, his tone turning concerned. “Is he bothering you? I know his daddy is a real piece of work, so I can’t imagine the boy’s much better.”

Eddie let out a high pitched laugh and dragged his face off the table. “You’d think so, right? I know I sure did! But no, Steve just so happens to be an absolute sweetheart of a person! Like, he’s actually nice. And he babysits a bunch of middle school nerds! For free! And he compliments my band and sits with me at lunch and gives me rides. He’s nearly fucking perfect!”

Wayne furrowed his brow. “And that’s… a bad thing?”

“It’s a terrible thing!” Eddie shouted, leaping from his chair. By now, his cereal had gone soft and mushy, so he carried the bowl over to the sink. “Because now I have this stupid crush on this stupid straight boy. Although, trust me, I have some doubts about that, because let’s just say some of his activities are decidedly more on the homosexual side. But what am I supposed to do about that, huh? I can’t just go up to him and be like ‘Hey Steve, have you maybe considered that you might actually like dick? Hmm?’.”

Eddie walked to the sofa and dropped onto it without stopping his rant. “And even if he was a little bit queer, who’s to say he would like me? Because if his type is anywhere in the ballpark of Nancy Wheeler, then there’s no chance at all that he would ever like me. I’m literally her opposite! Steve would probably be into someone like, I don’t know, Jason Carver. Which, ew, god, I can’t believe I even said that. But still! The point stands! So now, I just have to live with my pathic, hopeless crush until I die.”

He ended by flopping an arm over his face. For several seconds, Wayne said nothing. This was pretty normal, for one of Eddie’s tirades. Mostly he didn’t need a response, just a captive audience for him share the many woes that made up his life. But eventually, Wayne hummed.

“Sounds like you’ve gotta decide whether you’ll be happier with him in your life as just your friend and nothing else, or without him at all.”

Eddie scrunched up his face, refusing to look at his uncle. “It’s not that simple. Besides a couple of middle schoolers, I’m pretty much the only friend he has now.”

“And if he suddenly gained some other friends and you didn’t feel beholden to him? Would you choose to cut him out then?”

God damnit. God fucking damn Wayne’s stupid logic! Because, yeah, the answer was no. He wouldn’t cut Steve off, not now. The last few weeks had been eye opening, and on top of his ridiculous infatuation, Eddie just really liked being around Steve. He added something to their group that they’d been missing, something fresh.

He groaned, loudly. “But what am I supposed to do?”

“Well,” Wayne said, “If you want the boy in your life, and you don’t think there’s any hope of there ever being more, then you’re going to have to try and put those feelings aside. Treat him like your friend first, and your crush second.”

Yeah, alright, that made sense. It didn’t mean Eddie had to like it! It was fully within his rights to mope as much as he wanted when he was in the privacy of his own home. Although, that didn’t leave him much time, seeing as Steve would be coming over to the trailer tonight so they could go to the drive-in. Which, if asked, seemed like a date thing to Eddie. But hey, it wasn’t like he was an expert or anything.

And what was worse, Steve wanted Eddie to dress him up in his clothes! How was he supposed to survive that? Every time Eddie pictured Steve in any of his clothes, the temperature in the room crept up to an uncomfortable level.

Regardless, Eddie spent an outrageous amount of time picking out the perfect outfit. He went through every shirt, every pair of jeans, ever belt. By the time he’d come to a final decision, Steve was due to arrive within twenty minutes. That gave Eddie barely enough time to rush through a shower, throw on a band shirt and jeans, and blow dry his hair. When a knock sounded at the front door just three minutes after six, Eddie had barely gotten his hair into a low bun. With a steadying breath, he yanked open the front door.

Steve stood on the steps, his face tilted up and a small smile on his lips. God, he was so pretty. He rocked back on his heels and tucked his hands into his pockets as he looked over Eddie.

“Welcome, Sir Steven, to my humble dwellings.”

Continue reading the the full chapter on AO3

[bastionbibi]

Hi it’s me Drabble anon again I made this and I’m very sorry since it’s kinda sad but there is comfort to it. Thank you have a good day enjoy:

Immediately, Hiromitsu knew that something was wrong the moment he came back after checking on Rei to see his brother come back home, his shoulders stiff with tension and stress. He’s learned how to better identify when Taka’aki is having a bad day through observing him from the beyond but he has no idea what happened so he turned to his parents who had been keeping an eye on him, asking, “Hey Mom, Dad, what happened?”

“Your brother had a difficult day, I think he got burnt out after non-stop cases and paperwork over the week.” His father answered, his gaze following Taka’aki as he removes his coat and sat on the couch, exhaling sharply as he bent over, placing his elbows to his knees and his face to his palms. There were a concerning amount of cases happening during the week but Hiromitsu didn’t expect it to be too much.

“Oh poor dear, he must be completely exhausted. I’ll go make him some tea.” His mother said with a worried frown before she floats over to the kitchen, failing to suppress her audible cusses as she struggles to pick up the kettle, accidentally dropping it in the process and startling Kou, the cat Taka’aki took in. Taka’aki himself took notice of the noise and stood up, walking over to the kitchen to pick up the kettle before saying, “It’s alright mother, allow me.”

It might be strange for Taka’aki to be seemingly talking to no one but he knows that he’s not alone, that his family is watching over him. Some instances, he can tell who is there based on deduction and behaviours; such as how Hiromitsu or Aoi are usually the ones who write notes since they have the best grasps, his mother would often make tea and always check the doors to ensure they’re locked and his father would try to lift and push a pillow to Taka’aki to get him to sleep during late nights or would shift things here and there to make the place a bit tidier.

Yet sometimes, even with all that, the loneliness creeps back. Even with his friends, his family and Kou, he still feels lonely. Perhaps it’s because he’s been suppressing his stress up until now but the hectic week alongside these unwanted feelings brew a horrible storm, as though there was static buzzing around, clouding his thoughts and irritating his head, weighing heavily on his heart. This wasn’t the first instance of such feelings and every time he either buried it deep down until it resurfaced again or wait for it to pass.

A familiar warmth envelop Taka’aki and Kou nuzzled up to his leg as though sensing his plight and he realised that he hadn’t filled the kettle at all. He sighs and reassures, “I’m alright, I am simply tired.”

A blanket floats over, draping over his shoulders as a pen and notebook Taka’aki bought for Hiromitsu and Aoi to write in clattered onto the counter. The pen floats up and started writing, while it’s still quite shaky, there was a small swell of pride in Taka’aki as he sees how Hiromitsu has improved with his handwriting and grasp.

‘Are you sure? And no lying to us for the sake of reassuring us.’ Hiromitsu wrote and Taka’aki couldn’t hold back his smile before he lets his shoulders sag and lets it out, “If I were to be honest, no, I am not but I don’t know why. It’s not only the stress, but these feelings inside that I can’t control. It’s… Difficult to describe.”

The pen moves again and Hiromitsu writes, ‘You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to. We’re here for you, do you want to just lay down?’

“Yes, that sounds good.” Taka’aki nods, grateful as he sets the kettle down and goes to his bedroom, Kou following behind him. He unceremoniously flops over his bed, holding back an amused chuckle as he watches Kou hop up and claims it’s territory on the bed, curling up. “You already have your own bed, you don’t need to sleep in mine.”

Still, Taka’aki made no effort to move the cat as he adjusts his position and stares up at the ceiling, waiting for either the heavy static to leave his mind or for him to fall asleep. He could feel multiple presences surround him, giving comfort and warmth. Taka’aki gives an appreciative nod as he lays back, the peaceful silence of the world broken only by Kou’s soft snores and the pen writing once more. The notebook flops down into Taka’aki’s chest and he found himself smiling as he picks it up and reads it out loud.

“‘Even if today isn’t okay, that’s fine. We still love you Taka’aki-nii, dad and mom and I are so proud of you. Take the time you need, you’re doing great.’ Thank you, Hiromitsu, mother, father. I love you too.”

Im going to answer this like im live tweeting my reaction lets ggo

Ok ok ok so when I read this and saw Hiro saying he just got back from "checking on Rei" I honestly thought this was an AU when he's alive but NOO.

HE'S STILL A GHOST, WATCHING OVER HIS BROTHER AND HIS BESTFRIEND 😭💔😭

You know when you said 'observing him from the beyond' I wonder if there's still a layer seperating them, like the strong poltergeist shows that they can still haunt people/places but I wonder if there's another way he can reach out 🤔🤔 Look at me and my wishful thinking

AH. HE CAN AT LEAST KNOW THEYRE AROUND!! (The image of mom floating around is cute.)

Im in love with the way he can just tell who is there?? The only thing left is a hug 😔😔😔

Ok but the whole feeling lonely in a crowd thing?? Delicious, one of my fave trope. EXTREMELY PAINFUL. But delicious.

THEY CAN LIFT A BLANKET!!!

At this point he should team up with his baby brother and be the detective with a ghost side kick hehe ( <- girl whos trying to make this less sad)

Also as a nagano trio truther, I hope being around kanchan and yui will make him feel less lonely eventually 😔😔

Thank u again for this, drabble anon ♡♡♡ i now shall cry over ghostly baby brother hiro just ghosting around while his big bro sleeps

(Also do you know what this reminds me off?? Loosely, not like, plot wise or character based, but this concept reminds me of Beyond: Two Souls from way back when.)

[sunnyxjarrus]

season 3 episode 9 the harbinger tbb

I’m aware I kind of skipped the last episode so I’m gonna just hit highlights for it too

Episode 8 ’bad territory’

not really one of the ones screaming for wet haired hunter but they really did y’all dirty with the toxic atmosphere

Hunter and omega conspiring against crosshair in attempt to get him to take care of himself

“You don’t like anything”

fennec just contacting whoever at the end

and now for the important part

episode 9 the harbinger

so obviously I have to go in an order that I remember it from as chronological as possible (sad but true)

so we’re going to start with how feral I went almost immediately when I heard that lady chick villager miss call crosshair by his name

I accidentally got on here before I remembered it was Wednesday so I already knew that my beautiful dear beloved wife was going to be in the episode

still nothing can prevent me from going absolutely insane and crying upon seeing her on screen and in such amazing animation

I’m being serious even her little criminal file is better animation

Don’t get me wrong asajj ventress was my gay awakening in the clone wars but comparing the two

I just want to say something since fucking when have we ever cared about people being war criminals in Star Wars Hunter since fucking when?

um anyway did not really expect omega to do that second task on time but girl did good

honestly kinda expected omega to use the force to like push ventress when she returned to find her with one brother being choked and the other one with a lightsaber at his throat

kinda wish echo were there just because of their familiarity

also

M IS FOR MIDICHLORIANS

it is time for us who are actually acknowledging that they exist to celebrate their existence being acknowledged again

Look I promise I meant it when I said they did y’all dirty but we got ventress with wet hair now I promise I feel for you guys really I do

cross and Ventress having friendly interaction

also another tech mention

echo doesn’t get mentioned until they choose to bring him back

Hardcase hasn’t been mentioned since he died

we have three fives mentions

but no we get a tech mention an episode here in the bad batch season 3

my beautiful queen and wife is gone and will be missed

also the kraken was honestly kind of adorable

[changingplumbob]

Chopra Household: Chapter 5, Part 4

The baby shower continues, Lavina pops by and celebrates her birthday, then it's hospital time!

James: I know you have most of the stuff from your first two but Alexander and I wanted to get you a little something

Rahul: Oh James, you shouldn’t have

James: Nonsense. Can’t take the money with me. I know Dina is still being territorial about the Goth capital and I thought you two, sorry you five, deserved a bit of cushioning while you’ll be on family leave

Cassandra: Come inside, I’ve missed you lot

Charlie: Thanks for letting us bring Clover

Cassandra: We have so many animals here, what’s an extra good dog

Cassandra: I don’t understand why everything is so much more swollen this time

Devin: This is why you don’t get pregnant, right Charlie?

Charlie: Amen to that

Luna: I got quite big with the boys but luckily it seems to disappear pretty quickly after birth

Charlie: Yeah you are not changing my mind Luna

Devin: What are you making

Rahul: It’s meant to be cereal marshmallow squares but I think something went wrong

Devin: This is why I cook and Luna handles the baking. Anyway, do you two have some name ideas

Savannah notices Milton is feeling sad. She goes over and sits near him.

Savannah: Milton, I sorry

Milton: Huh

Savannah: I sorry I ask for password

Milton: Oh, no it’s fine Savannah, I’m not upset about that

Savannah: Uncle want some funny faces

Milton: It couldn’t hurt

Meanwhile Mercedes has again conned Alexander in to roughhouse play. She can’t do it with Cassandra while she’s pregnant so is getting in what she can with the visitors.

Lavina: I’m here! Sorry I’m late, traffic

Milton: What are you doing

Mercedes: Dancing. I good

Milton: I bet you’re excited about the new baby huh? Even though you’re still a baby, look at those cheeks

Milton leans forward to pinch them but Mercedes is too quick. Rather than her being pinched, Milton ends up with his fingers bitten. All the adults are too busy to notice so no one gets told off.

Lavina: How’s my brilliant grandbaby? Shall we practice some flashcards

Cassandra: She’s working on her numbers

Lavina: Oh how clever

Mercedes: *pouts*

Cassandra: Mercedes is getting better with her talking, she’s learning animals

Lavina: That's nice dear. Okay Savannah, what number is this

Savannah: Three!

Lavina: And this one

Savannah tries to peek around the card but Lavina tells her not to cheat.

With the baby shower over the twins get sandwiches while Rahul presents his mother with a cake.

Lavina: What is this

Rahul: You didn’t think I’d forget you turning 65 did you

Lavina: *scoffs* you needn’t say it quite so loud dear

Cassandra: It’s okay Lavina, we’re all family

Savannah: CAKE

Cassandra: No honeybee, you eat your sandwich

Lavina: Guess there’s no avoiding it. Here’s to elderhood!

Rahul attends to some chores while Cassandra has a much needed nap and the girls play outside.

Lavina: What are you doing in there

Savannah: Playing

Lavina: You don’t want to learn

Savannah: Play is learn-ding

Lavina: I see, okay dear, carry on

Mercedes: Nana, nana

Lavina: *sighs* yes dear, what is it

Mercedes: I learn words

Lavina: You mean learned. You learned words. And if you got that sentence wrong I do wonder

Mercedes gets mad and hits Lavina

Mercedes: I do learn nana

Lavina: Go away and hit something else, I’m not talking to you if you’re going to be like that

Cassandra wakes up and gets the two girls into their high chairs

Cassandra: Let’s see, how hungry are we

The girls aren’t overly hungry as they had sandwiches not long ago but Cassandra gets them milk to drink while she has dinner.

Mercedes: Mama, nana mean, she not like me

Cassandra: I’m sure she likes you

Savannah: Nana talk to me but not Mercedes

Cassandra: Really? Well I’ll talk to nana about it okay darlings, can’t have any sad faces here

Mercedes: Mama when baby here, where we

Cassandra: You’ll keep your room

Savannah: What about when baby coming

Cassandra: Oh! Okay when papa and I head to the hospital, Uncle Alexander will look after you

Mercedes: You be long

Cassandra: I hope not ladybug

Rahul: Bedtime I think

Mercedes: Papa I made yuck

Rahul: *sighs* come with me then

Mercedes: Papa, why table move

Rahul: Because the baby will need it more than you and your sister, so it’s back here in the nursery

Mercedes: Baby like me and Savannah

Rahul: I hope so, but it’s hard for babies to communicate ladybug, they might not seem like they do at first

Mercedes: Papa have time for story

Rahul: Absolutely, come on

Rahul reads Mercedes to sleep, Savannah took herself to the potty and climbed in bed while Mercedes was getting changed. Cassandra needs to lie down but once both girls are in bed she can’t help herself. She gets up, waddles across the house, and kisses them each goodnight.

Mr Cluckton: *crows* Hear ye, hear ye, IT'S TIME

Cassandra: The coop is further away and he still manages to- AH dear watcher

Rahul: Does that mean what I think it means? Is the baby ready?

Cassandra: Yeah, I’m pretty sure they’re ready to come out

Rahul: Okay, you get to the cars and we’ll drop the girls at your brothers on the way

Hospital time!

Cassandra: Where is Dr Eriksson?

Rahul: The nurse said she’s not here at the moment but don’t worry, she could still show up

Cassandra: Can you help me? My lower back is killing me

The couple move over to the exercise ball and Rahul sets about trying to massage some of Cassandra’s pain away. He’s not very successful though.

Cassandra: Rahul, for the love of the watcher, please go shave that beard, it’s stressing me out

Rahul: Right away my darling

Cassandra stands and her water breaks dramatically over the floor.

Cassandra mopes sadly on the bed while Rahul is busy.

Dr E: Did someone call for a doctor

Cassandra: Thank goodness, I really need some painkillers

Dr E: No problem dear. Turn around and we’ll give you the epidural. Remember it takes a while to kick in

Cassandra: But then we can do the c-section

Dr E: Absolutely. Now if anything feels off, tell me right away

?: Oh my, Mrs Chopra, can I have an autograph

Dr E: Not now dear

Rahul: Who’s this

Dr E: My husband, the other Dr Eriksson. I’m afraid he’s a fan and often has no bedside manner

Cassandra: Look, I’m really not in any state to give autographs right now

Rahul: You heard my wife. If you’re not here to help with the birth, please leave us in peace

Dr E: I am so sorry about him, believe me we’ll be having words

Cassandra: I think I just need to do some breathing while the epidural gets started

Rahul: Does everything look okay Dr Eriksson

Dr E: Oh yes Mr Chopra, nothing to indicate any problems

Rahul: We’ve just noticed Cassandra has put on more weight than she did with the twins

Dr E: Pregnancies are never exactly the same. I believe you get quite a lot of milk in Mrs Chopra

Cassandra: I did last time, but it took a while

Dr E: Your body is likely getting ready in advance. Now how’s the pain

Cassandra: I think I’m ready

Dr E: Brilliant. You two know the way, I'll be there once I've scrubbed up

Dr E: Remember, feeling pressure is normal but if you feel pain let me know, we can adjust the meds

Cassandra: Well big guy, here we go again

Rahul: Do you know how wonderful you are

Cassandra: I don’t but I do have this husband who tells me such things

Rahul: Looks like she’s almost there, how are you doing

Cassandra: Hanging in here

Dr E: One more cut and we can meet them

Dr E: Congratulations, a healthy baby girl

Cassandra: Thank goodness, we had a bunch of girl names ready but hardly any boy options

Dr E: It looks like we will have to await the melanin awakening again unfortunately

Rahul: So long as Viola is healthy, that’s all that matters

Dr E: That’s a lovely name

Cassandra: We think so

Dr E: I’ll just close up then you three can head home

Back home and it looks like Viola is keeping to tradition by inheriting Rahul’s eyes.

Mercedes: Mama papa back!

Savannah: You gone forever

Rahul: It didn’t take that long I don’t think. Now who is ready to meet their baby sister

The twins pout and look generally underwhelmed.

Cassandra: Come on over Savannah and say hi to Viola

Savannah: Hi. I done mama

Cassandra: How about you Mercedes, can you say hello to Viola

Cassandra picks up the baby who starts to scream and Mercedes does not look impressed.

Mercedes: Too loud mama, we no sleep

Rahul: She’s on the other end of the house to you two. I think you’ll sleep just fine

Mercedes pouts but reluctantly greets her new sister.

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