#we would’ve never had that stupid 4 in 4 conversation

[creekhollow]

I was today years old when I found out that sookie st James was originally possibly going to be a lesbian ?! We were robbed

[slut4thebroken]

Needs

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

Pairing | Tommy Shelby x reader

Summary | Tommy’s been so busy with work that he’s been neglecting your needs… So you come up with a plan to finally get some attention.

Warnings | Smut, semi public sex, rough sex, spanking, creampie, degradation, humiliation, praise, brat taming, gunplay, established relationship.

Words | 2.3 k

Notes | I feel like I still don’t really have his characterization down tbh :/ oh well😭

Ao3 link | <3

Masterlist

Smut prompts 4. "what would they think if they saw you right now?" 36. “You know I’m holding back from fucking you over this kitchen counter, don’t push your luck.” 48. “no panties. you need me that bad?” 50. “i bet you think you’re real cute letting them put their hands all over you. we’ll see how cute you look later when i get you home” 52. “you keep acting like a brat and i’ll take you over my knee right here. i don’t care how many people are watching” 75. "You wanted this. You can take it."

This definitely was not your proudest moment… but you’re pent up and Tommy has been too busy to take care of you for almost two weeks now. You’re desperately craving some rough, hard fucking. And you know exactly how to get it.  

Placing your hand on the man’s bicep, you laughed along with his “joke” and glanced at Tommy from across the room. He still hadn’t noticed you yet and you prayed he would soon because you’ve never met a man more bland and boring than the one in front of you. He’s also either completely stupid, or just doesn’t know that you’re with Tommy since he’s openly flirting with you. 

“You know, you truly are very beautiful.” He said, the joking tone now completely gone. 

“Oh- thank you..” You smiled, trying not to cringe. 

“May I dance with you?” You glanced at Tommy again— still nothing. 

“Sure.” He led you over to the center of the room and grabbed your hand, placing his other hand on your back, far too low. He started up another conversation and all you could do was nod or hum in agreement, too focused on looking at Tommy every chance you had. 

When you finally, finally met his gaze.. you immediately recognized his expression. You forced your eyes back on the man in front of you and smiled, trusting that Tommy would be over here any second now. 

“Hello, darling.” You stopped and tried not to smirk as you turned around. Tommy was looking between you and the man who quickly let go of you and stepped back. 

“Mr. Shelby.” He greeted, giving an awkward smile. He looked between the two of you and seemed to suddenly understand the situation. His smile slowly dropped as he took another step back. “I- I’m going to..” 

“Yeah, you do that.” Tommy sneered, waiting until the man scurried away before turning to you. He didn’t bother asking before grabbing your hand and pulling you into him by your lower back. 

“I bet you think you’re real cute letting him put his hands all over you…” He murmured, making you smile a little. “We’ll see how cute you look later when we’re home.”

“We were just dancing.” You said, in a tone that implied that you weren’t just dancing. 

“Right.” He scoffed. 

“There’s no need to get insecure, Tommy.” You said innocently, watching as his cheeks tensed when he clenched his jaw. His piercing blue eyes practically stared through you and if it were anyone else, they would’ve backed down immediately. 

“You keep acting like a brat and I'll take you over my knee right here. I don’t care how many people are watching.” He spoke in a low, menacing voice, making your stomach flutter. 

“Really? You’re not too busy for that?” You snarked and his expression shifted into one of realization, then amusement.

“Is that what this is about? My girl is a bit needy so she turns into a whore?” As soon as he started teasing, you knew you had to do more for this plan to actually work. 

“Screw you.” You spat, pushing him back by his chest. His eyes darkened and without paying any attention to the people who were now watching this encounter, he grabbed your wrist and started dragging you somewhere. “Let go!” You tried yanking yourself free, but his grip wouldn’t budge. He pulled you through a few hallways until you reached the kitchen, then shoved you into the room and slammed the door shut. 

“Quit it. I won’t tell you again.” He warned. 

“I didn’t even do anything! You’re the one who made a scene and dragged me away from the party.” 

“Oh, I made a scene?” He chuckled and you clenched your jaw, letting out a heavy breath through your nose. “Does no cock for less than two weeks really turn you into a complete brat?” He was still so fucking amused, so you shoved his chest again. He suddenly gripped your neck and pushed you back a few steps until you hit the counter. “I said quit it.” He growled, tightening his grip on your neck. 

“Fucking make me, Thomas.” You spat, purposefully using his full name. 

“You know I’m holding back from fucking you over this kitchen counter right now… Don’t push your luck.” 

“Oh, are you? Do you even have time for that?” You don’t think you’ve ever sounded more bratty before in your life. 

“Fine. You want to be fucked?” He quickly spun you around and pushed your chest down onto the counter, then bunched your dress up, letting it rest on your back. “Really, no panties? You need it that bad?” He snickered, making your cheeks flush in embarrassment. You don’t regret your decision to go without them though. 

The sound of clothes rustling as he opened his pants had you squeezing your thighs together, eager for what was to come. Without any warning he fully sheathed himself inside you, making you cry out and scramble for purchase on the counter. 

“Fuck! Tommy— what the hell?” He didn’t even give you a second to adjust before starting a brutal pace. Grabbing your hips tight enough to bruise, he bucked into you wildly with little care for your own pleasure. But for some pathetic reason that only made all of this hotter. “God- Tommy, slow down.” You whined, trying to squirm away. 

“You wanted this. You can take it." He gruffed, letting out quiet grunts now. Honestly, you’ve been a little horny since the moment you decided not to wear any underwear, but it’s been longer than usual since he’s been inside you and he didn’t do anything else to prep you, so the stretch burned a little. It was quickly turning into overwhelming pleasure though. When you reached a hand down to rub your clit, he twisted your arm behind your back almost painfully. 

“Brats don’t get to touch. You’ll be lucky if I decide to let you come at all.” You cursed under your breath and closed your eyes, only getting more worked up by his words and the way he said them. 

“Fine. When we’re done, we’ll go back out there and I’ll tell everyone about how Tommy Shelby can’t make a girl come.” You snarked. He pulled out with a low growl, making you smirk a little. You watched him walk across the kitchen, opening and closing drawers quickly. When he picked up a wooden spoon and started walking back over, you smirk dropped and you lifted yourself off the counter. “Tommy… Not here.” You warned, stepping away from him when he approached. 

“Get the fuck over the counter or I’ll make you.” When you didn’t move, he unholstered his gun and pointed it at you lazily. “Now.” Your eyes widened and you swallowed thickly, glancing between the weapon, the spoon, and his face. Even though you knew he’d never actually shoot you, the fear was still there. So you tentatively walked back over and leaned on the counter again. He lifted your dress, then immediately resumed fucking you, dragging the spoon over your ass to make you tense up. 

“I have responsibilities other than satisfying your needs.” He started, placing a firm smack on your ass with the spoon, making you curse loudly. “I run a business,” another smack, this one even harder, “I have a family…” The third hit brought tears to your eyes. “You are not my only priority, you understand?” You whimpered at the fourth smack, but even through all of this, he never stopped fucking you. 

“Answer me.” He growled, and this hit forced a choked sob out of you. 

“Yes! I- I understand.” You cried, clinging to the counter to ground yourself a little. 

“Your libido is inconsequential,” He continued, landing another hit on your already burning ass, “and I will not tolerate my woman acting like a whore because of it.” 

“Tommy..” You whimpered pathetically. 

“Do you have anything you want to say for yourself?” He spanked you twice in quick succession and you let your head fall onto the counter as a tear finally escaped your waterline. 

“I’m sorry!” You sobbed out, only crying harder when he hit you again. 

“Try again.” 

“I’m sorry, Tommy.” You whimpered. 

“Last fucking chance.” He spat, spanking you again. 

“I’m sorry for… acting like a whore.” You choked out and he landed one more hit on each cheek before dropping the spoon onto the counter. 

“There you go.” He cooed, rapidly snapping his hips into you, adding more pain to your already burning ass. “What would they think if they saw you right now?" He asked amusedly and you whined as your cheeks heated up. “Bent over some random rich asshole’s kitchen counter, getting spanked and fucked stupid…” 

“Tommy…” You whimpered, voice barely audible. Your hips were digging into the edge of the counter painfully and your legs were trembling from the intensity of the pain and pleasure. With each thrust, his balls were smacking your clit, teasing you with the slightest amount of touch where you really needed it. 

“From now on, when this cunt is needy, you come to me before whoring yourself around, got it?” You nodded desperately, feeling so close to pleasure that was just out of reach. 

“Yes— yes.” You choked out. “Please, Tommy, I can’t take this.” Your voice was a weak whimper and you hoped it’d be enough to get him to cave. 

“Do you need to come, darling?” He cooed mockingly, making you frown a little. 

“Yes! Please make me come,” 

“You can come. But you’re not using your hands.” He said cruelly. 

“Tommy, please..” You whined, needing more. You knew he wouldn’t give it to you though. 

“Better hurry too cause I’m getting close.” He chuckled quietly, obviously enjoying your suffering. 

“I can’t! Please!” You can count on one hand the amount of times you’ve been able to come from penetration alone. 

“Do you need help, my love?” He asked softly, voice contrasting his actions as he fisted your hair and yanked your body up until your back was against his chest. The cold barrel of his gun dragged down your cheek, making you stiffen and close your eyes with a strangled whimper. “Is this better?” You let out a choked sob even though, yes, it was helping you get closer to the edge. “You’re trembling… Like a little lamb.” He murmured against your ear, sounding uncharacteristically endeared. 

“Tommy..” You whispered, unconsciously flinching away from the gun. 

“Are you scared?” He whispered back and you just barely nodded in response. “Good girl. I like you like this.” He placed a gentle kiss on your cheek and you mewled, feeling your orgasm barreling toward you. He never stopped thrusting, but based on his breathing and the quiet sounds he was making, you knew he was close. Which meant that if you wanted to come, you had to do it now. His lips moved down to your neck and began kissing and licking the sensitive skin, occasionally sucking it into his mouth to leave a mark. 

“Come on, love. Drench my fucking cock, I know you can do it.” The gun brushed over your trembling lips teasingly. “This cunt isn't useful to me if it can’t come.” The degrading words forced a strangled moan out of you. When he cocked the gun, your body immediately went completely rigid. “If it’s not useful, then I don’t need it...” He said coyly and you whimpered in response, feeling so incredibly close to release. 

“So be a good toy and let that cunt show me why I should keep you around.” That was all you needed to finally fall over the edge. You sobbed out a moan and your whole body tensed up, then started almost shaking as all of the tension was finally released. This was your first orgasm in almost two weeks and it had you struggling to breathe properly and keep yourself up with the way your legs were beginning to feel like jelly. 

“Good girl.. I got you.” He cooed, holding you in his arms but never faltering in the movements of his hips. “Let it all out, darling.” 

“Tommy.” You whimpered through all of the moaning. 

“I know. I know, love.” He whispered, holding you tightly. “Ready for my come?” His words made another strong wave of pleasure roll through you and you were mumbling out incoherent pleas before you could stop yourself. You probably missed the feeling of him coming inside you the most out of everything. 

Without another word, his hips stuttered, then he bottomed out, pushing you almost painfully into the edge of the counter with a low groan. You whined at the faint feeling of his cock twitching inside you as he painted your walls with his come. He was grunting quietly, his breathing growing ragged and fanning your neck, getting you worked up again. But he was done far too soon. 

Panting quietly, he set his gun down on the counter, then kissed the crook of your neck, filling your stomach with butterflies. You loved his soft moments like this, especially after how rough and mean he was being. 

“Good girl…” He whispered. “So good for me.” Your cheeks heated up at the praise. 

“Don’t let me go, I’ll fall.” You warned quietly and he released of soft chuckle in response. 

“Lean over the counter, darling.” He murmured, giving one last kiss on your neck before letting you lean back down, resting most of your weight on it. He dragged out slowly, making both of you hiss at the sensitivity. “Fuck… I missed seeing this.” He groaned, enjoying the sight of your walls wrapped around his length. 

You whimpered in pain when he grabbed your sore ass and pulled you open to get a better view of your fluttering holes and his come leaking out. At the first sight of it though, he kicked your legs together, making it drip down your thighs instead. 

“Tommy...” You whined and he gave a teasing slap to your ass as he let out a half hearted chuckle, then pulled your dress back down. 

“Try not to leak all over the floor, love. I’m not sure how you’ll be able to explain that.” 

Taglist (join here)

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[satoruhour]

IDK IF U WILL SEE THIS OR ANYTHING BUT! is it ok if i request smth small and it starts off with gojo and the reader having a lil bit of banter by text, and the reader then says “satoru ur so pretty u should start a kissing booth for easy money” (as a joke ofc) and he was like “good idea” and went offline, making the reader freak out for the rest of the day until they came back to their apartment….. and found satoru set up a whole kissing booth in their living room

a/n: this is so cute!!! ty for the request anon <3 in this megumi is under satoru’s and reader’s care, tsumiki never went into a coma, and you’re married too / 1.3k

you loved satoru’s compliance. when you tell him that he should never cook again as a joke, he listens with a wide grin and a face that’s burnt on one side, sweeping the hard charcoal pieces of pancake into a pan. when you tell him you have two left feet, he simply laughs and just plops you onto his own, making you look like a fool waddling around.

a lovesick fool.

you’re left smiling into open space until a notification cuts you out of your daze, smile twisting into a questionable expression as your husband sends a picture of him posing in front of some boba tea shop, a promotional banner stating get spanked by one of our staff and get a free cup of boba tea!

[9:17am, the strongest and handsomest and coolest husband 🩵]: bet i’ll do it

[9:18am, delivered]: satoru. now. youll do it even if i dont bet you???!!?!!?!! 

[9:18am, the strongest and handsomest and coolest husband 🩵]: hmm… compelling argument, i’m afraid you’re correct

a few minutes pass and you are confident it’s him asking for a spank with a blinding smile on his face, probably pointing to one of the male staff because i have a wife at home, y’know? she’s so pretty and hot-headed and hot and—

[9:20am, the strongest and handsomest and coolest husband 🩵]: photo attached

boba acquired 😈😈😈😈

[9:21am, the strongest and handsomest and coolest husband 🩵]: oh yeah, one of the staff called me pretty. was a guy btw. had to flash him one of my peace signs and i just know he swooned

the raise of your eyebrows returned, though you stifle a chuckle.

[9:21am, delivered]: he did not swoon i promise you

and another picture comes in, his face all up in the camera with a comical pout on his face and your laughter comes out more freely this time, basically hearing the looks you’re getting from the commuters in the subway, though your eyes are only focused on satoru, on the curvature of his lips and the peek of his baby blues behind the sunglasses you bought for him.

[9:22am, delivered]: joking. you’re so pretty, you know that right

years ago you would’ve told yourself that it’ll only fuel his ego, but that was long before gojo satoru had decided you were everything and more; where he values everything you say, where you’re all he worships. one compliment from you could shut him up forever.

[9:23am, delivered]: you should totally start a kissing booth for like …. $4 a kiss or something

it’ll be easy money ngl and then we can share the gains 

[9:23am, the strongest and handsomest and coolest husband 🩵]: woah… good idea baby. alright then!

and gojo satoru goes offline immediately, leaving you left out in the cold, confused and perplexed when the satoru??? where the hell did you go??? texts fail to be read. it’s not often he does it, usually sending you a plethora of hearts or some stupid ugly sticker before the conversation ends. on the way to the school, you’re continually texting him, too, looking way more distracted than you would like to be in front of the students.

“sensei? any reason why you keep checking your phone?” yuji asks after lunch in the classroom, both arms tucked under his head.

“hm?” you answer but your eyes are still glued to the screen, the taunting ‘last seen at 9:23am’ taunting you endlessly and megumi looks like he has half a mind to just blurt it out, but he thinks it’s worth seeing your reaction later as he takes one more look at his adoptive father’s updates, sending picture after picture of his progress and he keeps the device tucked under to avoid any suspicion.

[14:09pm, my terrible father figure i guess]: do NOT !!!! SEND THIS TO MY BEAUTIFUL WIFE . i wll literally humiliate you in training later if you do

megumi sighs.

[14:10pm delivered]: don’t you already? also stop texting me loser she’ll find out 

the raven-haired boy later is left to comfort you later when you’re holding onto the phone a little too tightly, and by then you’ve already gone through every possible thought. satoru dying, satoru meeting a curse that’s higher than a special grade, satoru on a rampage to kill the higher-ups, satoru—

“you’re going to die worrying about gojo-sensei like that.” and you roll your eyes, hand fishing around in your bag for the keys to your shared home while your eyes never leave megumi. it’s been like this for as long as you can remember: you being the voice of reason, megumi taking your rambles like he always has, gojo usually just laughs.

“yeah? well? how could i not?” you fumble with your keys and pick out the right one, putting it in the keyhole easily from the many times you’ve done it and you swing open the door, “not when he’s the strongest who has to take care of so many things without any rest! what if he got distracted and took down infinity? what if he—”

and sometimes you hated gojo’s compliance (you’re lying to yourself).

upon opening the door, the living room was full of cardboard boxes and cut out shapes, paint over the floor and on his jujutsu uniform, an all-knowing, but still stunning grin that you wanted to slap off of him. the chaos of the cardboard led to one thing: a small counter completed with a tip jar, his free cup of boba tea and a large sign that said kissing booth: $4 for a smooch!

and a smaller sentence is parenthesis, ‘free for my baby.’ the statement almost, almost gets you but you manage to ask him in a monotonous voice, “what are you doing, gojo satoru?”

“hi…?” megumi smiles secretly to himself before closing the door for you, putting the keys in your outstretched hand and it’s sort of the routine the three of you fall into everyday now. alas, with tsumiki staying in her university’s dorms, it was a little lonely for megumi, but the two of you were enough entertainment for him.

“well i was just listening to you!” gojo gestured to the whole place, which will probably be a pain to clean up, “who can blame my silly little brain for wanting to do a project to make my wife happy?”

you cross your arms in retaliation, but in all honestly, you wanted nothing but to greet the sorcerer with an embrace, something you’ve been meaning to do since your worrisome attitude from the morning. reluctantly, you frown while you make your way to the makeshift counter, immediately leaning forward before satoru puts a finger on your lips with a teasing smile.

“ah! four dollars please!”

bonus

“i was really worried, y’know,” the words are muffled from the way you’re buried in his neck that night, inhaling the scent that you missed all day. it’s summer in japan at the moment, but you find yourself craving his skin more than ever, a hand going up to brush through his stark white hair.

“’m sorry, baby,” satoru pulls away from you, as with you, sending you a small smile before pecking your forehead, “i promise to tell you what i’m up to from now on.”

you lean forward to close the gap, and all the kisses you exchanged earlier were definitely not enough. softly, your arms wrap around his shoulders while a leg goes over his body, gojo sounding out a little surprised hum at your eagerness. smiling into the kiss, satoru only plants more kisses to your nose, your lids, to your eyebrows and your chin, and another gentle one to your lips.

“even if it’s arts and crafts or maybe attempting to make you some strawberry tarts.”

you slap his chest lightly, a faux shocked expression filling your features, “i thought we agreed no more strongest sorcerer in the kitchen?”

“of course, sweet girl,” satoru lands one last deep kiss to show you truly the extent of his love. but even then, he knew it wasn’t enough, so he hoped, at least his words were, “i only ever listen to your voice —  none else matters.”

i love him

[sunnybyler]

i’ve been sitting on my thoughts for so long but i just have to get this off my chest. i don’t like to yuck ppls yum so if you like e/riel pls scroll away nd keep having your fun it’s not my problem. however some of y’all can get mean as HELL and as an elucien i have to get this off my chest. (also warning for gwynriels i’m with y’all i defend y’all here however i do go in a bit on az in this so fair warning). i truly have no idea why e/riels cling so hard to the azriel bonus chapter in acosf because that chapter, more than literally anything else in the series, proved to me that e/riel is absolutely NOT going to be endgame. let me explain:

1. it is explicitly stated that azriel did not think of his relationship with elain outside of a sexual nature. i think some ppl get kinda annoyingly puritanical when trying to make this point when it’s like 100% certain lucien had sexual thoughts of elain too. the point isn’t the thoughts themselves. the difference here is the explicit mention that he didn’t consider anything with her outside of that.

2. the point above ^ is further exacerbated by the fact that az did not give a flying fuck if he killed elain’s MATE. even if elain hasn’t accepted the bond, it would still be extremely painful for her based on what we’ve seen with rhys, feyre, and even rhys’s parents (who weren’t good for each other, yet we saw how rhys’s dad lost it when she died). now of course us lucien lovers know damn well he would never in a million years call a blood duel to try to claim elain (and fuck u rhys for saying that, i usually have your back but come ON you are not the only male who can respect their mate’s autonomy). but az doesn’t know that!? in fact seems to agree with rhys that he could. ppl argue on who would win that fight — my opinion hinges 100% on if powers are fully unleashed but that’s not the point at all. no matter WHO wins, elain is going to feel responsible for someone’s death. of course it wouldn’t be her fault if men decided to be fucking stupid, but with the little we know about elain shows that she would feel so guilty if that happened. but azriel doesn’t seem to give af that anyone fighting to the death over her is the last thing she would ever want. not only did az not think of elain outside his fantasies and therefore not fully care for her, but he doesn’t seem to even KNOW elain in this chapter. now, i could go in on this in acosf as a whole. but i’m keeping it to this chapter alone.

3. and further on THAT point, az doesn’t really give any reasoning on his interest in elain outside of this insane “three brothers/three sisters” thing he fully pulled out of his ass. tbh i almost thing this is sjm’s way of addressing the fan theories on that. now i get it to some extent from az’s pov — seeing his brothers happy with these sisters must fuck with your head after you’d all been bachelors together for 500 years. especially considering how he’s felt unworthy of love his whole life and this seems to support that insecurity of his. i get that it makes him feel ostracized from them, and that he’s now an outlier not being with an archeron. i get that. i do. i sympathize with him here. however that does not change the fact that he isn’t speaking of elain like she’s her own individual here — hell he fully calls her “the other”. i think part of this conversation was him being frazzled, i give him a bit more grace than some do (tho he pissed me off BAD in this scene), but we were fully in this man’s head. did he give us a full reason why he liked elain besides his brother’s mates and his sexual thoughts?? they would’ve at least crossed his mind when rhys was grilling them if sjm was trying to set up her next romance here. as it is, we have literally nothing to imply azriel actually likes elain herself and not the idea of being closer with his brothers.

4. az has kinda a habit of ignoring the reality of the women he’s attracted to in some way. he has his own version of them in his head that he puts on a pedestal. now i could do a whole psych eval on this man and how he thinks he’s unworthy of love and therefore only allows himself to have feelings for women he knows/thinks he can’t have. but to focus on this chapter alone, my points above ^ about how he doesn’t really think of elain outside his fantasies/bringing him closer to his brothers and not really understanding her pretty much wraps it up there. i mean he even talks about how he thinks his scarred hands don’t belong on her because she’s so perfect in his eyes. that’s not love, that’s obsession and it’s unhealthy. he clearly thinks himself below elain and ignores that she has her own flaws too.

5. aaaand i saved the biggest for (almost) last….. GWYN. this is a genuine GENUINE question. why in the fucking hell. would sjm make half the chapter focusing on az & gwyn if she was teasing e/riel. like that makes no sense. not to be annoying and mention chekhov's gun but that idea applies to relationships too. i’m sorry but she couldn’t be more explicit about her future romances. you could argue “oh well it’s because there’s gonna be a love triangle”. y’all. elain has. elain has a mate. there already IS a love triangle. there was absolutely no reason for her to bring gwyn into this chapter other than her preparing us for a future relationship, literally none. especially with all the romantic subtext (hell not even subtext, just TEXT). gwyn getting him to talk about himself so easily when he’s so quiet usually, him taking the idea of making her happy and he “buried the image down deep, where it GLOWED QUIETLY” (which SCREAMS mating bond to me but even if it’s not it’s clearly something he cherishes deeply), the SHADOWSINGERS SHADOWS SANG FOR HER!?

6. the fucking necklace regifting. oh it’s bad. OHHH ITS BAD. when the girls realize it’s gonna be SO messy but im hoping sjm doesn’t go the stupid cat fight route bc neither of them did anything wrong. az did. i’m sorry i’m dunking on him so much in this post i rlly don’t hate him i just think he needs like decades of therapy (which tbf don’t we all) which i unfortunately don’t think sjm is going to give him before giving him his romance. but even the biggest azriel lovers have to admit that this was insanity. a few points on it here. first, if it’s so easily regiftable then it couldn’t have been that well thought out in regards to elain. say what you will about lucien’s gifts, even argue that he gave her jewelry too. but elain was actually shown wearing pearls. az’s gift seemed shallow to me — it was something pretty, and elain’s pretty, and it had a flower, and elain gardens. it’s clear lucien put SO much more thought into his gifts, whether he succeeded or not (which i need to remind y’all — we still don’t know. maybe she liked the gifts maybe she didn’t, but regardless she acted the way she did bc of her feelings about the bond, not the gift). and azriel has spent so much more time with elain than lucien has. if that necklace really felt like elain to him, he could’ve kept it or returned it. but nope. buddy gave it to a whole other girl bc he could easily associate it with someone else. he clearly felt some special pull towards gwyn too, going out of his way to give it to her. he had ONE meaningful conversation with her. i already discussed the quote earlier that makes me think mating bond personally. but no matter what, him giving her the same gift he gave someone he was pursuing romantically is a clear sign of what’s to come (and probably a setup for some sort of drama that i don’t think im mentally ready for).

so there we have it! why i think that the bonus chapter thoroughly proves that e/riel is not going to be endgame. i honestly think it’s possible they might be a thing for a minute (tho i could also see this being the closing of that chapter), but i don’t think it’s going to last. sjm just gave us too many blatant hints that elain and az would NOT work together long term, and that azriel in particular is more suited for someone else. i might’ve missed some points bc there is SO much that goes down in this tiny chapter so lmk if there’s other stuff you picked up on!

[ntonlvr]

Can't Help Myself Falling Endlessly 3-4?

synopsis: sohee decides to throw a party. anton and y/n continue to sneak around..

what could possibly happen next..stay tuned

word count: 7.5k>

status: 4/? (this 2 chapters in one)

content warning: explicit sexual content, oral (fem and male receiving), drunk sex, slight mutual masturbation (?), idk what else to tag lmaoo

please leave feedback :)

The morning sun filtered through your curtains, casting a gentle glow over your room as you stretched, thoughts of last night with Anton lingering in your mind. His kiss, the way his hands felt on you, replayed vividly. You reach for your phone and settle back into bed, the cool sheets enveloping you. With a giddy excitement, you prepare to spill everything to your online besties, Taro and Sung. 

You’d been friends with them for years, bonding over shared interests and countless late-night conversations. They were all well aware of your history with Anton–a childhood friend with whom you’d recently felt a growing connection beyond mere friendship. Whenever you needed advice or just a sympathetic ear, they were always there. 

Just as you were about to text them, Sohee’s voice echoed from downstairs. “Hey, Y/N,  are you up? I need your help please!” Rolling your eyes, you chose to ignore him for the moment, fingers quickly tapping across the screen.

TEXTING CYBER BULLIES:

y/n: good morning :) guess whos filling my mind this morning …

taro: hmm anton 👀

sung: yeah, i second that. it has to be anton 

You grinned at their responses, fingers flying over the keyboard as you recounted last night's movie night. The way you were both snuggled up sharing light touches before the moment turned into something more. 

y/n: you won’t believe what happened last night 

taro: ooh ?? pls tell

sung: spill right now

y/n: well last night anton came over for a movie night, right. well we had a few shots of soju and we ended up kissing,, but like more heated …

taro: WAIT what!? i thought you guys were just friends!! did i miss a chapter 

sung: no stupid. that’s the news. BUT Y/N WE NEED MORE INFO NEOW.

sung: we know you had a fat crush on this man, but never expected you to actually do anything about it..

y/n: hey- i would’ve done something about it

y/n: i would like the jury to know that i did in fact make the first move

taro: and when you say the kissing got heated? what do you mean by that

y/n: um we might’ve felt each other up. and he definitely kissed me elsewhere.. you get the picture

sung: oh we will be facetiming later to discuss more details. you aren’t getting out of that

taro: yeah for sure. but how are you feeling? what are you gonna do??

y/n: well we agreed to keep it a secret for now, just so we can figure out our feelings for real. and how to break it to sohee if we progress further.

sung: SOHEE DOESN’T KNOW ?? DUDE 

y/n: hey remember when i said “we agreed to keep it a secret” OF COURSE SOHEE DOESN’T KNOW STUPID.

sung: well was it just heated kissing? if so i don’t think there’s any harm in that.

y/n: about that heheh…

taro: y/n i swear to god,, what else are you hiding from us .

y/n: after he left last night, we were texting- actually let me send a screenshot of our texts

y/n: *screenshot*

sung: .. no freaking way .. Y/N HE SNUCK OVER AFTER HE LEFT FOR THE NIGHT ..oh he’s got it bad for you

taro: oh 0.0 “i would love to feel you right now” you’re actually insane for that (i love it)

y/n: um so he did in fact sneak over. let’s just say a man can please and ya girl can please.

taro: and sohee had no idea anton came back over last night? girl you are so in the clear right now

sung: this is some next-level drama. i am living for this BUT how are you keeping this a secret?

y/n: idk 😭 that’s the hard part. we don’t really get a lot of 1:1 time because of sohee

taro: hmm maybe you can both sneak away tn since sohee’s throwing a party

y/n: how do you know he- stalker

sung: taro quit stalking sohee’s socials

taro: i like to know things, okay 

y/n: but taro does have a point. there will be enough people around so anton and i can have some alone time

taro: im living for the secret rendezvous with you and anton. so what’s the next move?

y/n:  i want to look good tonight. idk the thought of looking so good in front of anton when he has to act normal is making me go crazy

taro: you already know i support. pls send outfit ideas

As you laughed at their playful encouragement, Sohee called again, louder this time, “Y/N! Seriously, come help me. I know you’re up, I can hear you laughing.” You smirked and typed one last message.

y/n: i will!! i gotta go before sohee loses it -.-

You head downstairs and grab a cup of coffee to kickstart your day. Sohee enters, carrying a box of lights and other decorations. 

“Finally! I thought you were trying to skip out on helping me,” Sohee says, placing the box next to you. 

“I don’t get why we need all these lights. We already have lights in the backyard,” you reply, eyeing the tangled mess.

“Yeah, but these are way better. Anyway, I did have something I wanted to talk to you about last night,” he begins, leaning against the counter with a more serious expression.

Your heart skips a beat, and a wave of anxiety washes over you. “What about it?”

Sohee sighs, running a hand through his hair. “I noticed something weird when I joined you both for that movie last night. Like something with Anton,” he says, his tone filled with curiosity. “Anton seemed kind of off, like he was distracted.”

A lump forms in your throat, and you struggle to maintain a calm facade. “Distracted? What do you mean?” you ask, trying to sound casual, but the slight tremor in your voice betrays you.

Sohee pours himself some coffee, looking thoughtful. “I don’t know, just a feeling. He was quieter than usual. Maybe he’s got something on his mind.”

You force a laugh, relieved that Sohee hasn’t pieced anything together. “Yeah, he’s been stressed about work lately. Probably just that.”

Sohee shrugs, seemingly satisfied with your explanation. “Makes sense. Anyway, let’s get these decorations up. The party won’t set itself up.”

You nod, the tension easing as you both start untangling the lights. The relief washes over you, knowing that your secret is still safe for now.

The morning flew by in a whirlwind of party preparations with Sohee. As you helped him hang lights and arrange decorations, your mind kept drifting back to Anton and what the evening might bring. Around midday, while you were putting the final touches in place, Sohee’s phone began buzzing loudly. 

“Sohee, could you please pass me another hook so these lights stop falling?” you called out.

“Sorry, I’m actually going to head out and grab drinks for tonight,” Sohee replied, already reaching for his keys. “Do you mind holding the fort down while I’m gone?”

“Can’t you grab me a hook before you leave?” you retorted, frustration evident in your voice. 

“Well, I’m already out the door, Sorry, I’ll be back in a little while,” he said, closing the door behind him.

“What an ass,” you mutter to yourself. Did he really just leave you to finish setting up for a party he wanted to throw? “Whatever,” you thought. “I’ll wrap this up and then get ready for tonight.”

In your room, you laid out your chosen outfit on your bed and took a shower to refresh yourself. The warm water helped relax your nerves, and you spent extra time carefully styling your hair into loose waves that frame your face effortlessly. 

Unlocking your phone, you started a FaceTime call with Taro and Sung to get their opinion on your fit for the night. 

“Hey, Y/N! What’s up?” Taro greeted you enthusiastically as his face appeared on the screen. 

“I need your fashion advice,” you said with a grin, “I already chose this dress, but I have another option in case the jury doesn’t like it.”

Sung leaned forward, curious. “Let’s see what you’ve got.”

You set your phone up, and backed away from the camera, displaying the dress you had on. A skimpy sundress in a pastel floral print that hugged your curves in all the right places. “Okay, this is the first option. A personal favorite,” you explained, giving a playful twirl to show it off. 

Taro’s eyes widened with approval. “Wow, Y/N you look hot in that dress. It really compliments you so well.”

Sung nods in agreement. “Definitely. It’s perfect for tonight. Anton won’t be able to take his eyes, and maybe even his hands off you.”

Before you could grab the second outfit, Taro exclaimed, “We don’t even need to see the other one. This is perfect!

Sung nodded in agreement. “Yeah, seriously. Anton won’t be able to resist you in that.”

You laughed, feeling a mix of excitement and nervousness. “You really think so?”

“Absolutely,” Taro said confidently.

“Totally,” Sung added with a grin.

The thrill of teasing Anton added an extra layer of excitement to the night. You couldn’t wait to see his reaction when he sees you. Taro and Sung could sense your anticipation and share in your excitement. 

“We can’t wait to hear how this plays out for you,” Taro said, eyes sparkling with mischief.

“Yeah, keep us updated,” Sung added. “This is going to be so much fun.”

You smiled, feeling more confident than ever. “Thanks, guys. I’ll let you know how it goes. Tonight is going to be good.”

“Sorry guys, hold on a sec,” you apologize, tapping the screen to switch over to Sohee’s call. The image shifts to a chaotic scene in Sohee’s car, packed with shopping bags brimming with bottles of various liquors.

“Sohee, what’s all this?” you laugh, eyeing the assortment of drinks.

Sohee grins mischievously. “I figured we needed a little something extra for tonight. And look who I found on the way back,” he gestures towards Anton, who waves from the passenger seat, a shy smile on his face. 

Anton leans into the camera view, his voice tinged with humor. “Hey, Y/N. Sohee decided to kidnap me for the cause.”

You chuckle at them, feeling a surge of excitement for the night ahead. “Well, looks like we’re all set then. Thanks, Sohee. See you both soon.” With a wave goodbye, you switch back to Taro and Sung, who are grinning at the unexpected interruption. “Okay, I gotta go, babes. I’m pretty sure Sohee is close to being back and is gonna need help with everything.”

Taro laughed. “Good luck! And remember, we need all the juicy details later.”

“Yeah, and don’t leave anything out!” Sung added.

You smiled, feeling a renewed sense of confidence. “Don’t worry, you’ll get the full scoop. Talk to you later.”

The evening air was thick with anticipation as Sohee’s car pulled up to the front of the house. Anton stepped out first, followed closely by Sohee, who was balancing the bags of goodies with practiced ease. They exchanged knowing glances, both fully aware of the surprise that was about to unfold.

You descended the stairs, your presence catching Anton’s attention almost immediately. Anton’s breath caught in his throat as he beheld you in the sundress, the soft pastels playing against your skin like a delicate watercolor. His gaze traced the curve of your waist, the gentle flow of the fabric over your figure, and the way the dress seemed to illuminate you with a subtle radiance.

At that moment, time seemed to slow for Anton. He couldn’t help but marvel at how effortlessly you wore confidence like a second skin, how every movement you made seemed to carry a quiet grace that captivated him anew. Thoughts raced through his mind, a whirlwind of admiration and desire intertwined. 

“Wow,” Anton managed to whisper, the word escaping his lips almost involuntarily. His heart hammered in his chest, a mixture of awe and a deeper, more profound feeling stirring within him. He found himself unable to look away, wanting to etch this moment into his memory. 

As you reached the bottom of the stairs, your smile brightened at the sight of Anton. You could sense his reaction, the unspoken admiration that hung in the air like a delicate thread. It was a moment suspended in time, where words seemed unnecessary amidst the unspoken language of glances and smiles. 

You joined Sohee and Anton as they gathered the remaining supplies from the car. The back seat was filled with bags from different stores, and a variety of beverages. Anton began to unload them while you and Sohee carried them inside. 

“How was the store?” you asked, breaking the silence as they maneuvered through the hallway. 

Anton glanced at you, trying to keep his focus on the task at hand. “It was alright. Sohee managed to get all the best deals.”

Sohee nodded in agreement, setting down his load on the kitchen counter. “Definitely, I know what I’m doing. Thanks for helping us by the way.”

You smiled warmly, “Of course, I’m happy to help.”

As they continued unpacking, you reached to grab a big bowl from the top shelf, inadvertently lifting the hem of your dress just enough to expose the bottom of your ass. Anton’s eyes widened slightly at the unexpected glimpse, his cheeks flushing as he looked away, trying to maintain composure. You bit your lip, suppressing a smile at his reaction before bending over to now retrieve something you didn’t even need, knowing full well you were testing Anton’s self-control at this point.

As they unpacked the bags, Y/N noticed Anton stealing glances at you from time to time. You couldn’t resist a playful tease. Setting down a bottle, you turned towards Anton. “Enjoying the view?” you ask in a low whisper.

Anton’s cheeks flushed slightly, caught off guard by your directness. He chuckled nervously, trying to play it cool. “Uh, maybe a little,” he admitted with a shy smile. 

Y/N tilted her head, pretending to ponder. “Well, I guess that’s a compliment,” she replied, her eyes sparking mischievously.

As they continued unpacking, you reached to grab a big bowl from the top shelf, inadvertently lifting the hem of your dress just enough to expose the bottom of your ass. Anton’s eyes widened slightly at the unexpected glimpse, his cheeks flushing as he looked away, trying to maintain composure. You bit your lip, suppressing a smile at his reaction before bending over to now retrieve something you didn’t even need, knowing full well you were testing Anton’s self-control at this point.

Anton shifted his position, feeling the tension between them growing more palpable with each playful gesture. 

“So, Anton,” Sohee called from the other side of the kitchen, oblivious to the teasing. “Can you check if we have enough mixers?”

“Uh, sure,” Anton replied, his voice a bit strained. He moved to the pantry, grateful for the temporary distraction. As he rummaged through the shelves, he couldn’t help but steal glances at Y/N, who was now leaning over the counter, her movements slow and deliberate.

You straightened up, catching Anton’s eye once more. She walked over to him, your smile innocent but your eyes twinkling with mischief. “Need any help in there?” she asked sweetly, standing just a bit too close. 

Anton took a deep breath, forcing a smile. “I think I’ve got it, thanks,” he said, trying to keep his tone casual.

As you reached for a bottle on the shelf next to Anton, you subtly grazed his side, your touch light and seemingly accidental but enough to send a shiver through Anton. He tensed, trying to remain composed as the playful gesture heightened the already charged atmosphere between them, 

“Sohee,” you called over your shoulder, your tone light and playful, “do we have enough glasses for the drinks?”

Sohee nodded, still focused on his own task. “Yeah, they should be in the cabinet above the sink.”

You turned back to Anton, giving him a final teasing smile before moving away to fetch the glasses. Anton exhaled slowly, his mind racing with thoughts of you and your playful antics. He knew the evening was only just beginning, and he had a feeling your teasing was far from over.

With Sohee bustling in the kitchen, organizing the drinks and setting out other necessities, you seized the opportunity to steak a moment alone with Anton. You flashes him a smile, a silent invitation to join you in a corner of the living room away from Sohee.

Anton hesitated for a moment, glancing over at Sohee to ensure he wouldn’t notice their brief absence. Then, unable to resist your playful allure, he followed you to the secluded corner. 

You leaned against the wall, your eyes glinting with mischief as you watched Anton approach. “Finally, some peace and quiet,” you murmured, your voice soft and inviting. 

Anton nodded, feeling a mix of nervousness and excitement. “Yeah, it’s been a little hectic in there,” he replied, his gaze fixed on you.

You took a step closer, your proximity sending a shiver down Anton’s spine. “I noticed you’ve been a bit distracted,”  you teased, your fingers lightly brushing his arm.

Anton swallowed hard, the touch of your fingers sending a wave of warmth through him. “It’s hard not to be,” he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper.

Your smile widened, pleased by his honesty. “Good to know I have that effect on you,” you said, your tone playful yet sincere. You leaned in, your lips just inches from his ear. “You know, you’re making it very hard for me to focus on anything else.”

Anton’s heart raced, the intimacy of the moment almost overwhelming. “You’re not making it easy for me either,” he confessed, his breath hitching. 

You chuckled softly, your breath warm against his skin. “Maybe that’s the point,” she whispered, your lips brushing against his ear ever so slightly.

"Imagine what else I could do if we were alone... just the two of us."

Before you could pull back, Anton’s hands were on you, unable to resist any longer. His fingers traced the curve of your waist, pulling you closer until there was no space between you. “You’re driving me crazy,” he murmured, his voice rough with desire.

You shivered at his touch, a pleased smile playing on your lips. “You can’t seem to take your hands off me, can you?” you teased, your tone light but your eyes dark with invitation. 

“Can you blame me?” Anton replied, his hands roaming over your back, pulling you even closer. “You look absolutely stunning tonight. I can’t resist touching you.”

“Good to know,” you whispered back, enjoying the way his touch sent waves of heat through you. “But we can’t stay hidden forever. Sohee will start wondering where we went.”

Anton was about to respond, to the close distance between you, when Sohee’s voice rang out from the kitchen.

"Hey, Anton! Can you give me a hand with these coolers? They're too heavy for me to lift alone."

Anton groaned inwardly, the moment shattered by the interruption. He pulled back reluctantly, glancing at you, who wore an amused expression. "Duty calls," you said with a wink, clearly enjoying the effect you had on him.

"Yeah, I'll be right there," Anton called back to Sohee, his voice tinged with frustration.

Moments later, you both joined Sohee in welcoming their friends, the atmosphere quickly filling with lively chatter and music. The front door swung open repeatedly as guests arrived, bringing with them bursts of laughter and clinking of bottles. Sohee, in his element, floated around the room and backyard, ensuring everyone had a drink and was having a good time. 

As the night progressed, you found yourself standing at the makeshift bard in the backyard. You leaned over to grab a pop from the lower shelf, your dress riding up slightly. Anton’s breath hitched instinctively reaching out to steady you, his fingers brushing against the exposed skin.

“You really can’t keep your hands off me, can you?” you whispered, a teasing smile playing on your lips as you straightened up, holding the can of pop.

Anton’s eyes darkened, his voice low as he replied, “You’re impossible to resist. I told you.”

Before you could respond, a group of friends approached them, breaking the intimate moment. You both plastered on friendly smiles, engaging in casual conversation, but the tension between you remained palpable.

As the party buzzed with energy, music thumped and laughter filled the air. Anton leaned in, whispering to you, “Wanna get out of here?”

You shared a smirk and began weaving your way through the crowd, aiming for upstairs. Just as you reached the stairs, Sohee, visibly tipsy, intercepted you, swaying slightly.

“Hey! Where are you two sneaking off to?” he asked, his words slurring a bit. “You aren’t leaving, are you?”

You and Anton exchanged a look, their escape thwarted. “Uh, just going to get more drinks. Looks like we’re running low,” you replied, trying to act natural.

Sohee grinned. “Perfect! That’s what I was going to ask you both to do. It’s like you read my mind.”

“Yeah, of course, Sohee,” Anton replied, chuckling. “Anything for you.”

Sohee beamed. “You guys are the best!” I’ll make sure the party doesn’t die while you’re gone.”

As the car hummed down the road, the city lights flickering past, Anton’s hand found its way to your thigh, tracing soft patterns with his fingertips. His touch sent a shiver of anticipation through you.

“Can’t believe Sohee actually sent us on a beer run,” you chuckled, stealing a glance at Anton.

He smirked, his eyes glinting in the dim light. “Maybe it’s not such a bad thing.” His hand slid higher, a teasing warmth spreading through your body. 

You bit your lip, feeling the heat rise within you. “You think you can keep your hands to yourself?” you teased.

Anton leaned closer, his voice low and filled with a playful challenge. “Why would I want to, when you look so good?” His warm breath brushed against your ear, sending tingles down your spine.

You laughed softly, but then gleamed at the road ahead. “Hey, pay attention to the road,” you teased, your voice mock-serious.

Anton chuckled, his hand still gently exploring. “Don’t worry,” he said confidently, his tone cocky and flirty. “I’ve got my hands–and eyes–right where they need to be.”

The car pulled up to the liquor store, and you both hopped out to grab the beers Sohee had requested, along with other beverages. The task was simple enough, but the tension between you both was high.

As he drove, the tension between you both grew undeniable. Anton glanced at you, a mischievous glint in his eyes. “You know,” he said, his voice low and suggestive, “we have a bit of time before we head back.”

“Are you suggesting what I think you’re suggesting?” you asked, your voice laced with a mixture of curiosity and excitement.

Without answering, Anton turned down a quiet, secluded road, pulling over in a spot hidden by trees. He killed the engine and looked at Y/N with a smirk. “Why don’t we take a little detour?” 

You grinned, heart pounding with anticipation. “Lead the way,” you replied, your voice barely above a whisper, already intoxicated by the daring excitement of what was to come.

Anton flashed a wicked smile and opened his door, stepping out of the driver's seat. He moved around the car, opening the back door and gesturing for you to join him. “Get in the backseat,” he suggested, his tone a mix of command and invitation.

As they settled into the backseat, Anton’s lips captured yours, the kiss deepening as his hands roamed eagerly. He traced up your sides, fingers brushing your skin, sending shivers down your spine.

Your fingers tangled in his hair, pulling him closer, your breaths mingling in the confined space. Anton’s hands explored your curves, sliding beneath your dress, his touch warm and urgent.

He felt you shiver as his hand ventured higher, fingers tracing the soft fabric of your panties. “You’re so wet for me,” he whispered, a satisfied grin spreading across his face.

You gasped, your body responding to his touch, the sensation intoxicating. Anton’s fingers pressed lightly over you, feeling the heat radiating, his own desire intensifying.

“You like this, don’t you?” he murmured, his voice low and husky, lips brushing against your ear. The thrill of their secret moment, hidden away from the world, only heightened their connection.

You whimpered softly, your breath hitching as Anton’s fingers continued their tantalizing exploration. Emboldened by your response, he kissed a trail down your neck, his lips trailing lower with each tender caress. He knelt between your legs, his gaze locked with yours, filled with hunger.

"Anton…" you breathed out as his palms found their way upwards. "We should go back," you said, feeling a mix of urgency and desire.

"We should," he agreed, though his hands showed no intention of stopping. His fingers teased your skin, drawing you closer.

"We need to get back," you insisted, a teasing glint in your eyes.

"Then let's stop," Anton suggested, his lips brushing against yours.

"You first," you challenged, a playful smile on your lips.

"I can't," he admitted, his voice low and filled with need.

"Then let's finish," you replied, surrendering to the heated moment. Your lips met his once more, lost in the intensity of your connection. The urgency of the world outside faded into oblivion as you both gave in to the passionate, stolen moments in the backseat of the car.

Anton’s mouth found your inner thigh, his tongue tracing a path of fire along your skin. Your fingers threaded through his hair, urging him closer as he teased you, building tension to an unbearable peak. When his lips finally met your core, it was like an electric shock, sending waves of pleasure coursing through your body.

His touch was expert, each movement deliberate and intoxicating. Your breath hitched with each flick of his tongue, the gentle sucking on your clit sending tremors of delight through your ent9ire being. He alternated between soft, teasing licks and firmer strokes, each one eliciting a gasp or maon from your lips. The sensations were almost too much, your body arching towards him, seeking more of that friction.

“Anton, please,” you gasped, your voice barely a whisper as the pleasure built inside you.

“Tell me what you want,” he hummed against your skin, his breath hot and tantalizing. 

“Don’t stop,” you pleaded, your fingers tightening in his hair. “Please, don’t stop.”

Anton’s hands gripped your hips, holding you in place as he continued his ministrations. His tongue moved with a rhythm that drove you wild. His mouth was warm and insistent, every movement designed just for you, to bring you over the edge. 

“You taste so good,” he growled softly, his voice sending another shiver down your spine.

His lips wrapped around your clit, gently sucking and then releasing, only to repeat the motion. You felt your muscles tighten in anticipation, the coil inside you winding tighter and tighter.

“Oh, god, Anton,” you moaned, your hips bucking against his mouth. “I’m so close…”

He paused for a moment, his breath hot against your wet skin, before diving back down with renewed vigor. His tongue pressed firmly against your clit, moving in slow, deliberate circles, causing your toes to curl.

Your fingers tightened in his hair, your breaths coming in short, ragged gasps. You could feel the edge of release approaching, your body tensing as your high was nearing. Anton sensed this, his hands sliding up your thighs to hold you even closer, his tongue working you relentlessly. 

Anton flicked his tongue rapidly against your clit and then sucked your clit hard, the coil inside you snapped. You cry out Anton’s name with ecstasy, your body trembling with the intensity. Anton continued to work you through your high, his mouth never leaving your core. 

He didn't stop until he had drawn out every last shiver and moan from you, his tongue soothing and gentle now, easing you down from the heights of pleasure. When you finally collapsed back against the seat, spent and breathless, Anton kissed his way back up your body, his eyes dark with desire and a hint of satisfaction.

Anton’s eyes sparkled with anticipation as you pushed him gently against the seat. You kissed your way down his neck, your lips trailing along his collarbone and chest. 

“Y/N,” he breathed, his voice a husky growl. “What are you doing?”

You smiled against his skin, your hands moving to unbutton his jeans. ‘Giving you what you deserve,” you replied, your voice low and seductive.

“We should go back now,” he said, but his voice lacked conviction, his body already responding to your touch.

You slid his jeans down, your fingers tracing the hard outline of his arousal through his boxers. Anton’s breath quickened, his eyes never leaving yours. 

With a hunger that matched his own, you lowered yourself between his legs, your lips brushing against his inner thigh. Anton’s sharp intake of breath spurred you on, your mouth finding him eagerly. You started with soft, teasing kisses along his length, your tongue darting out to taste him,

“God, Y/N,” he groaned, his hands now tangling in your hair.

You looked up at him, eyes full of mischief. “That’s the idea,” you said, before taking him fully into your mouth. Your tongue danced along his member, teasing and tasting him as you worked him to the same completion he did to you moments before. 

Anton’s grip on the seat tightened as he surrendered to the pleasure you gave him. He whispered words of encouragement to you as you continued your attack. You increased your pace, your movements becoming more fervent as you felt him growing harder against your tongue. His hips bucked slightly, matching your rhythm, and you knew he was close.

“Y/N,” he gasped, his voice strained with need. “I’m so close, I’m about to come…”

You only redoubled your efforts, taking him deeper, your tongue swirling around the sensitive tip before descending again. With a final stroke, you felt him reach his high, his release filling your mouth as he groaned your name. You swallowed, taking every last bit, your eyes locked. 

As you pulled back, you stuck your tongue out to show Anton you had swallowed every last bit. The sight alone made him lose it, his breath hitching as he stared at you with a dazed look. 

“God,” is all he managed to breathe out. 

Anton pulled you into a lingering kiss before leaning back with a satisfied sigh. “We should probably get back,” he said, his voice low. 

You smiled, your body still humming from the intensity of your shared moment. “Yeah, before Sohee starts wondering where we are.”

With a reluctant sigh, you both fixed your clothes and climbed back into the front seats. The car hummed to life, and as you drove back to the party, the tension between you and Anton was replaced with comfortable silence. The intimacy of your recent encounter still lingering in the air. 

As the car approached the party, the sound of music and laughter grew louder. You could see the house lit up, people milling about in the front yard, holding drinks and talking animatedly. Anton parked the car and turned to you, a soft smile playing on his lips.

Stepping out of the car, you both grabbed the bags of drinks and headed towards the house. The moment you walked in, you were greeted by a way more drunk Sohee, his eyes widening with relief and excitement.

"There you are!" he exclaimed, stumbling slightly as he approached you. "I was starting to think you guys got lost or something."

Anton chuckled, handing Sohee a bag of drinks. "Just had a little detour. But we got everything you asked for."

Sohee swayed a bit, peering into the bag with a grin. “Perfect! You guys are lifesavers.” He reached out to pat Anton on the shoulder but paused, his eyes narrowing slightly. “Hey, uh, Anton…your fly is down.”

Anton quickly looked down, his cheeks reddening slightly as he zipped up. “Oops, must’ve been in a hurry. We stopped to use the bathroom,” he said with a casual laugh.

Sohee then turned his attention to you, his gaze lingering on  your slightly tousled hair. “And Y/N, your hair is looking a mess.”

You felt your cheeks flush as you quickly tried to smooth your hair. “Yeah, the wind was crazy out there.”

Sohee laughed, giving you a playful shove. “Sure, sure. You might want to keep that under control unless you want to scare everyone away.”

You rolled your eyes but couldn’t smile at how even drunk Sohee still tries to bully you. “Thanks for the advice, dick.”

He raised an eyebrow, a hint of suspicion in his gaze, but he was too far gone to dwell on it. “Well, as long as you’re back with the drinks. Let’s keep this party going!”

He grabbed a beer from the bag and cracked it open, raising it in a toast. “ To the best beer runners ever!”

You and Anton exchanged a look of relief, clinking your bottles together before taking a sip. The party continued in full swing, the music thumping and laughter filling the air. Sohee, now distracted by other friends, quickly forgot his earlier suspicions, and you and Anton were able to blend back into the lively atmosphere, the thrill of your secret adding an extra spark to the night.

Anton found himself with his friends Wonbin and Eunseok, their group gathered in the kitchen with bottles in hand. The conversation flowed easily, punctuated by bursts of laughter and the occasional teasing remark. Anton glanced outside where you were sitting with your friends Karina and Ningning at a small table, a bit away from the main crowd. You looked radiant, your laughter infectious as you animatedly chatted with the girls. 

Karina nudged you playfully, her eyes twinkling with curiosity. “You and Anton seem awfully close tonight,” she remarked, her tone teasing. 

You shrugged nonchalantly, though your cheeks warmed at the comment. “He’s just my best friend, and you know that,” you replied, taking a sip of your drink to hide your smile.

Ningning leaned in, her voice a conspiratorial whisper. “You two would make a cute couple, you know.”

You laughed, shaking your head. “It’s not like that,” you insisted, but the words felt less convincing even to your own ears. Your gaze drifted back to Anton, who was now engrossed in a story Eunseok  was telling, his smile bright and genuine. 

You stumble upstairs, a little tipsy but still steady enough to navigate the familiar path to your room. Closing the door behind you, you kick off your shoes and collapse onto your bed, the soft fabric of your sundress bunching up around your thighs. Grinning to yourself, you pull out your phone and open a new message to Anton.

y/n: hey handsome ;)

You giggle to yourself, hitting send. It doesn’t take long for your phone to buzz with a response.

Anton: Hey, where’d you go?

y/n: upstairs. needed a break from the noise. u should come join meeee

You bite your lip, your fingers dancing over the keyboard as you continue

y/n: im all alone…in bed…and it’s kind of boring without u

You know Anton is still downstairs with his friends, and the thought of him trying to hide his phone to read your messages makes you giggle. Your phone buzzes again.

Anton: I’m with the guys, I can’t just leave like that

y/n: why not? im more fun than them

You can almost imagine him trying to keep a straight face while reading your texts. Deciding to take it up a notch, you reach for the hem of your dress, hiking it up just enough to reveal your bare skin. Angling the phone just right, you snap a photo and send it to him. 

y/n: see? im not even wearing panties…

A thrill runs through you as you hit send, and you wait, heart pounding, for his response. This time, it takes a bit longer for his reply to come through.

Anton: Holy shit, Y/N. You’re killing me

y/n: u know what would be even better? u… up here with me

You start again, feeling more bold.

y/n: yeah im just laying here, thinking about u…touching myself

Your phone buzzes almost immediately.

Anton: You are so hot, oh my god…

You grin, knowing you’ve got him right where you want him.

y/n: come on, anton. don’t you want to see what you’re missing ;)

You lie back, anticipation building as you wait for his next move. Downstairs, Anton is struggling to keep his composure, sneaking glances at his phone while his friends are oblivious to his distraction. You can almost feel his tension, his desire to be up there with you instead of stuck trying to act normal.

Finally, his next message comes through. 

Anton: Give me 5 minutes

You smile, your heart racing with excitement. You know that in a few minutes, Anton will be there, and the night is going to take another exhilarating turn. But you decide to push him a little further. Propping yourself up on one elbow, you adjust your dress, pulling it up higher to reveal more. With a sultry look, you take another photo, making sure it captures the curve of your body and the suggestive hint of your touch.

y/n: hurry up…i’m getting impatient

You hit send, your heart racing as you imagine Anton’s reaction. The seconds tick by slowly, each one heightening your excitement. You can almost picture him trying to discreetly look at his phone, his friends none the wiser. 

Your phone buzzes again.

Anton: Damn, Y/N…you’re making this really hard to stay down here.

You bite your lip, feeling a rush of satisfaction.

y/n: just imagine how good it will feel to be up here with me…

The thrill of knowing he’s about to sneak away just for you is intoxicating. You send one final message, wanting to make sure he can’t resist.

y/n: just think about me… laying her, so wet and ready for you…

Another photo follows, this one even more revealing, leaving little to the imagination.

Anton: I’m on my way. 

You hear the creak of the stairs, each step bringing Anton closer. Your heart pounds in your chest, and you quickly check your appearance one last time. The door handle turns, and Anton slips into the room, closing and locking the door quietly behind him.

He stands there for a moment, taking in the sight of you sprawled on the bed, your dress hiked up, one hand resting on your inner thigh. His eyes darken with desire, and he walks over, his presence sending shivers down your spine. 

You start to pull your hand away, but he stops you with a firm but gentle command. “Don’t stop. Keep going.”

Your breath catches in your throat, and you nod shyly, resuming your slow, teasing strokes. His eyes never leave you, his intense gaze making your movements feel even more intimate. You feel your body reacting to his attention, every touch amplified by his look. 

Anton sits on the edge of the bed, close enough to reach out and touch you but holding back. His restraint only heightens your arousal, and you let out a soft moan, your fingers working urgently. 

“Anton..” you breathe, your voice trembling already with need. “Please…I want you.”

He leans in closer, his breath hot against your skin. “Not yet,” he murmurs, his voice a husky whisper. “I want to watch you a little longer.”

You whimper, your body aching for his touch, but you obey, for fingers continuing to play with your clit. His gaze is almost tangible, the heat in his eyes making you feel more exposed than ever. 

“Please, Anton,” you beg, your voice breaking with desperation. “I need you to touch me.”

His hand covers yours, guiding your movements. The contact sends a jolt of electricity through you, and you gasp, your body arching towards him. He watches you intently, his own arousal evident. 

“You’re so beautiful,” he whispers, his lips brushing against your ear. “But I want to hear you beg for it.”

“Please,” you moan, your voice raw with desire. “I need you. I need to feel you inside me.”

He pulls back slightly, he eyes locking onto yours with a fierce intensity. “Not yet,” he says firmly. “I want you to make yourself cum first. Show me what you do when I’m not around to help you.” Your eyes widen, and a shiver runs through you. “But Anton,” you whisper,  your voice giving out on you. “I- I can’t… I need you…”

“You can,” he insists, his voice a low growl. “Show me how badly you want it.”

You hesitate for a moment, your body aching for him. But the command in his voice is undeniable. You slide your hand back down, resuming the slow, tortuous strokes, your eyes locked on his. His gaze never wavers, watching every movement, every reaction.

To increase the sensation, you move your free hand up to your breasts, fingers grazing over your nipples. You pinch and tease them, gasping at the added pleasure. The dual actions overwhelm you, and you close your eyes, losing yourself in the feeling.

The sensation builds quickly, your own touch suddenly feeling more intense under his watchful eyes. Your breath comes in ragged gasps, your hips lifting off the bed as you chase your release. 

“Anton…please…” you moan, your body trembling.

“Keep going,” he murmurs, his voice like velvet. “Show me how much you want it.”

The words push you over the edge, your body tensing as the orgasm crashes over you. You cry out, your entire body shuddering with the force of it. 

As you come down from the high, Anton finally moves, his hands replacing yours, his touch sending aftershocks through your oversensitive skin. You notice his hand moving more deliberately over himself, his arousal palpable. 

He stands up, unbuttoning his jeans, his movements slow and knowing. You watch, your eyes fill with a mix of satisfaction and renewed desire as he finally starts to touch himself openly. But even now, his focus still remains on you, his eyes locked on yours as he begins to stroke himself, his breath coming in short gasps.

“You like watching me, don’t you,” he murmurs, his voice thick with lust. 

“Yes,” you whisper, your body still trembling from your release. “But I want to do more than just watch. Let me touch you.”

He shakes his head slowly, a teasing smile playing on his lips. “Not yet,” he says, his voice a tantalizing whisper. “You can look, but no touching.”

You whimper at his words, your core aching with renewed need as you watch him begin to pleasure himself. His movements are skilled and with purpose. His eyes locked onto yours as he slowly stroked himself, edging closer and closer to release. 

“Please, Anton,” you beg, your voice breaking. “I need you inside me. I need to feel you.”

He groans, his breath hitching as he slows his strokes, teasing himself. “Not yet,” he whispers, his voice strained. “I want to see you beg for it.”

“Anton,” you moan, your body trembling with desire. “I can’t take it anymore. Please… I need you.”

His eyes darkened with lust, and he moved closer, his hand still working over himself. “Keep begging,” he murmurs, his voice a low growl. “I want to hear how much you want it.”

“Please, Anton,” you cry out, your body arching towards him. “I need you so badly. I can’t stand it. Please…”

His eyes flash with satisfaction, and he finally gives in, positioning himself over you. He leans down, capturing your lips in a hungry kiss, his tongue teasing yours. You can taste the desire on his lips, feel it in the way his hands roam your body.

“You’re so perfect,” he whispers against your mouth, his voice thick with need. He pulls back just enough to align himself with you, the anticipation making you tremble. His eyes lock onto yours, holding your gaze as he slowly pushes inside, stretching and filling you in a way that makes you cry out.

Your nails dig into his back, your body arching against his. “Anton,” you gasp, your voice a mix of relief and overwhelming pleasure. “Oh god, yes!”

He moves with a deliberate, unhurried pace, each thrust deep and measured. His eyes never leave yours, the connection between you intensifying the sensations coursing through your body. You cling to him, every thrust driving you closer to the edge. 

“I want to feel you come again,” he murmurs, his breath hot against your ear. “I want to feel you tighten around me.”

The command in his voice sends a thrill through you, and you can feel the pressure building once more. Your moans become more urgent, your body responding eagerly to his every touch. His pace quickens, his own restraint slipping as he nears his own release. 

“Anton,” you cry out, your body shuddering with the force of your climax. He groans, the sound vibrating through you as he finally lets go, his release triggering another wave of pleasure for you.

He collapses on top of you, both of you breathing heavily, your bodies tangled together. After a moment, he lifts his head, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. 

“I don’t ever want to let you go,” he whispers, his voice filled with awe.

You smile, your heart swelling with emotion. “I don’t want you to,” you reply softly, running your fingers through his hair. “I want this. I want you.”

He holds you tighter, his lips finding yours once more in a tender, lingering kiss. “Then you have me,” he says, his eyes filled with promise. “Always.”

[sanjisboyfie]

๑ keep safe : just a friendly competition...right? (4)

one piece x male reader

tender is the night, 

lying by your side 

tender is the touch, 

of someone that you love too much 

『 prev 』

the night of his arrival, luffy and [name] stayed up practically all night catching up. their chatter was heard through the walls. but to some extent, it did make the crews’ hearts calm down when they heard how enthusiastic and happy their captain was to be reunited with his close friend.

“and then what happened after that?!” luffy excitedly asked, biting into another piece of fruit. a tangerine, to be exact. there was an abundance of them on the tree and [name] made sure not to take too many.

he was set on peeling duty whilst luffy’s stomach was being fed endlessly.

“i just sailed off after, i didn’t want to linger too long on an island that wanted to kill me,” [name] laughed, finding luffy’s eagerness to learn of his adventures adorable. he gently place luffy’s strawhat in his lap, smoothing his hands through his raven hair, “i’ve truly only been waiting for you, luffy! i thought that each island i had stopped at would have remnants of you, but all were disappointments. i’m so glad i got to find you at whiskey peak,”

luffy’s grin only widened even more, “even if that island was weird!”

[name] laughed with him, bringing luffy’s head to crash into his chest for an embrace, “even if it the island was weird, yes!”

luffy stayed in his position, finding comfort that he had missed for the three years [name] was gone. he then pointed at the cloth tied around [name]’s wrist in wonder, “what’s that under there?”

he knew where the cloth came from, how prized it was to [name]’s heart, but the piece of paper peaking out underneath it made him more curious.

“it’s your wanted poster,” [name] said gently, taking out the folded piece of paper and revealing it to luffy, “it was my only way of knowing how you were doing - and by the looks of it, you were doing perfectly fine!”

“would’ve been better if you were there,” luffy whined, seemingly never going to let go of the fact [name] set sail three years before he did.

“pft, doesn’t matter now since we’d found each other, anyway,” [name] said, pushing the paper back onto his wrist. but luffy grabbed his hand and stopped him in his tracks, “huh?”

“throw it away, we won’t ever be separated again now that you’re apart of the crew! you don’t need a stupid poster!” luffy grinned, happily taking the paper into his own wrist and throwing it overboard.

[name] was shocked at the sudden action, but decided that it was perfectly within luffy’s chracter to act so spontaneous. so all he did was bring luffy back into his chest and sigh in content, “promise we won’t be separated?” he teased, knowing there was no way luffy could promise something as serious as that.

but it seemed luffy took the joke as serious as possible, nodding his head in determination, “never again! you’re my favorite thing!”

“really, a thing?” [name] sweatdropped, wondering when luffy was going to have a ways of wording his thoughts better.

“mhm! i treasure you the most,” [name] chuckled, knowing that to be simply untrue. he knew luffy treasured his hat most of all, but it wasn’t offensive to him. it was endearing that luffy was so quick to speak of his loyalties to him, made him feel special.

“i treasure you too, lu,” [name] said, sighing into luffy’s hair.

it seemed there was a lack of response due to how the captain had knocked himself out, snoring soundly into [name]’s chest now. the human pillow brought the strawhat back onto luffy’s head and decided to carry him back inside, where he most definitely wouldn’t catch a cold.

despite their conversation ending on a rather serious note, the first thing the rest of the crowd heard coming from the duo was mindless bickering.

“who’s had more experience on the grand line?! i did, so what i say is going to become true!”

“you’re so annoying!” luffy shouted, gritting his teeth and pressing his forehead strongly against [name]’s.

it looked like two rabid dogs were growling at each other, but never daring to bite the other.

“what are they even arguing about?” vivi asked to no one in particular. sanji, who had just walked out of the kitchen, was the one to answer though, “vivi-sama, don’t stress over the argument of two idiots. it is truly none of our concern,”

“who are you calling an idiot, you piss blonde fucker?!” [name] shouted, earning a snort of laughter from zoro. it seemed that he found the sudden anger from [name] that was directed at their chef amusing. but due to his snicker, it made [name] point at him then, “you! let’s duel! right now!”

within a second’s notice, “come on! let’s go then, you useless pirate!” zoro retaliated, seemingly itching for a fight against [name]. even though he was calm seconds before, the memory of previously losing to [name] was enough to fire him up.

“oi, you can’t use pirate as an insult anymore when you’re a pirate,” usopp sweatdropped.

it seemed zoro’s memory of the loss also made his mindset double back to when he was a bounty hunter and he was aiming for [name]’s head.

“i’d love to beat you again!” [name] cheered happily, getting ready to charge at the green haired swordsman.

“i’d love to see you try!” zoro clashed with him, an angry look on his face.

just as the two were about to charge at one another, nami appeared from the shadows and easily made the two of them stop their antics. that translates into, she punched the both of them on their heads hard enough it made them fall to the ground.

“enough of the shouting! it’s getting tiring to hear it all day long!” she screamed, mimicking a certain vice admiral in the marines that luffy and [name] grew up with.

“oh! nami-chwan, you’re oh-so beautiful even when you are angry!” sanji cheered, swirling around a couple of times with a tray of drinks in his hand (they miraculously didn’t spill at all). “here, take this drink to re-energize yourself, you deserve it! ah, you as well, vivi-sama!”

sanji seemed to bask in aiding the two woman, another action that made [name] snicker in amusement.

the heart eyes in sanji’s eyes almost immediately disappeared, “oi, shit for brains, what’s so funny?!”

“that’s creative,” [name] commented about the "nickname" sanji had adopted for him, taking a drink off of the tray for himself and watching as sanji only got more angry at his nonchalance.

sanji tended to serving everyone else on board as well and soon all the men aboard the ship were sitting in a circle. all past arguments were forgotten, surprisingly, as they carelessly chatted about whatever came to mind.

[name] was sat between usopp and zoro, enjoying his drink with a content smile.

“let’s go fishing, usopp!” luffy cheered, the idea of catching dinner fueling his antics.

“okay, then i’ll make an artistic fishing rod for you!” usopp agreed.

their attention was soon all directed to carue, vivi’s speeding duck, and his journey in discovering the tastiness that was sanji’s drink.

he chirped in glee when he got to properly taste it, making everyone around him laugh in amusement.

“here! finish mine too!” [name] said, pushing his own glass forward to see truly how much he could drink. his actions were welcomed by the duck, who easily finished it within seconds thanks to his straw.

eventually, his stomach was full of the drink that he had no other option but to land on his back in exhaustion. [name] and the rest broke out laughing at the scene, the new crewmate clutching his stomach.

they were all rather relaxed as the refreshments cooled their bodies off.

“look! a dolphin!” sanji said in amazement.

“woah! how cute!” nami chided in from her position on the ship’s deck.

it seemed that the cute dolphin was more so terrifying than anything, though, as the crew soon realized it wasn’t as small as it seemed. it was easily bigger than their ship and the crew was sent into a frenzy on getting away from it.

“i hate dolphins!” [name] said with his teeth grit, working hard in manually fixing the ship’s sails in being prepared for an escape. he then jumped around deck, helping zoro steer clear of the dolphin, grunting in exhaustion, “i really hate dolphins!”

after things finally calmed down, usopp was laying on his back on the wooden deck as he was too tired to even sit up.

“you knew your way around merry,” usopp said, although it sounded more like a question than anything.

“i toured her the other night,” [name] shrugged, “if i’m gonna be apart of the crew, i’d better pull my weight, literally and figuratively,”

usopp swallowed thickly, a million thoughts running through his mind. although [name] was made out to surely be someone terrifying in the newspapers, he seemed nothing but genuine so far.

except for his squabbles with zoro and sanji that morning, he was sure terrifying then. but it seems that when three overzealous individuals get together, there is no way they’d be able to go a minute without arguing.

also, [name] seemed to truly appreciate merry for being a wonderful ship. and he was glad that [name] could see how special she was. usopp himself was deeply attached to the ship, personally impacted by sailing with her. so to see at least an ounce of respect come from [name] regarding her, it made him feel more at ease.

“what are you thinking so hard about, usopp?” [name] asked, poking the tip of usopp’s nose to make it uncomfortably bend back.

“oi! don’t touch my nose like that!” usopp cried out, slapping [name]’s hand away, interuppting any peaceful time he was having.

“i wanted to see if it’d bend!” [name] said in a carefree tone, making usopp only more frustrated.

“of course it bends, it’s not a bone!”

[name] put his hand under his chin, seemingly thinking about. soon his hand turned into a fist and he knocked it against his open palm, “that’s right it’s not a bone!”

“idiot…” nami said under her breath, not believing that such a feared pirate was really an air head just like her captain. as she rubbed her forehead in stress, she looked at her wrist to see in which direction the log pose was pointing.

“which direction, nami?” luffy asked curiously, rocking back and forth where he sat.

she grinned, feeling relief to see that the compass was doing its job, “turn to port, full!” she directed, having luffy, zoro, and [name] follow in her command.

and soon enough, they sailed into the direction of a green looking island. [name] felt wonderment fill his soul, a low hum escaping his throat.

the crew looked at him in surprise at the sudden sound, vivi being the first to speak up, “what’s he making that sound for…?”

“cause he’s an idiot,” zoro said under his breath.

“hmmm,” [name] continued on humming, making a tick mark appear on nami’s forehead.

“what’s so “hmmm”?!” she exclaimed.

“no, i was just thinking…so this is what happens when you actually use a log pose!” [name] said, scratching the back of his head in a sheepish manner.

“huh? what’s that supposed to mean?” usopp asked out loud.

“oh! i never really used a log pose on my journeys!” [name] said proudly, grinning from ear to ear.

this caused everyone on the ship, minus luffy, to almost fall face first onto the planks of their deck in disbelief.

“just how did you survive on the grand line?!” sanji cried out, looking at [name] as if he were an abnormality.

“just let the water take you wherever it wants to take you!” [name] reasoned.

“that’s hardly sane,” zoro said, a part of him impressed for how long [name]’s been alive. if he’d been sailing the past three years like that, then you’ve got to admit it’s at least somewhat impressive he hasn’t died yet.

usopp on the other hand was terrified, “is this the pleasure one gets to indulge in when they’re feared all over the sea? at what point does this carefree attitude become normal?” his vocalized questions only made [name]’s grin widen even more.

after the whole fiasco died down, they eventually reached the actual shores of the island. they sailed through it, taking in the scenary.

“our second island on the Grand Line!” luffy announced in excitement, seemingly barely able to contain himself. he was jumping up and down as he held onto the railing, looking as if he wanted to jump overboard and swim to the island himself.

of course, that was impossible so he had to wait for merry to make her own way to land.

as they were sailing through the deep forest, they realized how tremendous their landscape truly was. trees were towering over them, almost completely shielding the sun from their vision and the greenery that was growing from the ground was sitting at an impressive height as well.

“what about this exactly is little?” zoro said in an unimpressed manner.

“this place doesn’t quite fit its cute name,” nami said, taking in their surroundings with shock painted across her face.

“we have to be careful,” vivi quietly spoke, looking down at carue in worry, “i’m worried about what miss all sunday was saying,”

[name] thought back to the interaction, eyebrows furrowed as he tried hard to think of what was so important about it. no matter how hard he tries to remember, all he could mentally see in his mind were her piercing blue eyes and dark rooted black hair.

he shrugged, thinking it was probably not a big deal to begin with.

“are you saying there may be m-monsters?!” usopp cried out in fear.

[name] grinned mischievously, wondering when the last time it was that he feasted on a monster. usopp took that expression on his face as a different meaning though, sweating even more bullets at the look on the highly wanted pirate’s face.

“oi! quit makin’ that face! it’s super unsettling! oh, why don’t we just move on to the next destination!” usopp cried out, running to the opposite side of the deck to nami, wanting to create distance between him and [name] while also pleading with their navigator.

“but the log can’t be stored so quickly,” she said, upset that they couldn’t skip over such a scary looking island as well.

“also we have to stock up on food, too,” sanji voiced, making [name]’s eyes turn into stars.

“i’m on food catching duty! i’ll bring the best meat home! i’ve got an eye for it!” he said cheerfully, thinking of all the delicious meat that was living in the luscious jungle.

“oi, there’s a river mouth right over there!”

and that was all it took for them to let their anchor sink down into one of the secluded groves of the island. it was off the main water way, but also easy to find due to its connective water route.

almost immediately, luffy was bouncing with energy on exploring the island. it seemed no one was willing in talking him out of it, so it was decided that he and vivi (and carue) would go out adventuring to discover more about the island.

out of nowhere, there was a screech above head of what sounded like a bird. it made such a sudden noies that nami and usopp were yelping and covering their heads in fear.

“ah, how cute,” sanji breathed out, a mellowed look on his face as he looked at nami.

“you talking about me?” usopp joked, turning around with a cutesy look on his face.

“obviously, i’m not!” sanji shot back, immediately getting disgusted at the mere idea of usopp being the cute one he was referring to.

“what was it i just heard?”

“don’t worry, it’s just a bird! it’s a jungle anyway,” despite sanji’s confident tone, it seemed that he truly didn’t understand the sudden danger he was in. [name] quickly pushed sanji’s head down to make him duck from the sharp talons of the bird, making the blonde look up in annoyance.

when he finally caught sight of what was nearly threatening his life, he began to yell curses at it for even trying. then he pointed his one eye at [name] and said, “don’t ever think about doing that again, i don’t need you looking out for me, shit for brains!”

[name] whistled in mock offense, wondering what got sanji so riled up. “no need to be so defensive, blondie,” this only made sanji more aggravated, though.

suddenly a loud eruption sounded off somewhere in the island. [name] flinched at the noise and turned to look form where it came from, with no answer. this island sure was weird. and really big.

he was glad he didn’t come here when he was sailing by himself. he’d surely get lost if he explored the giant terrain. now, he could trust luffy to get himself lost, so the pressure was off his shoulders.

“is that the kind of noise you hear from just any jungle?”

“it sounded like a volcano explosion!” usopp said in fear.

“what if a part of the mountain collapsed because the giant monsters of the island were trying to climb it as a game?!” [name] suggested excitedly. and despite his theory being completely made up, it seemed usopp truly took it to heart.

because now the poor sniper was shaking in his boots. more than he was already before.

out of the shadows of the forest came a tiger. at the sight of the giant feline, nami and usopp ran to the other side of the ship to create distance. they blew past [name] and were basically using him as a cover shield.

“sacrifice the newcomer,” nami said to usopp, thinking she was whispering when [name] heard it really clearly.

“of course, it’s only appropiate that the newest crew member is thrown into the mouth of the hungry tiger,” usopp agreed.

“rest in peace, [name]!” nami said, clasping her hands in front of her as if in a prayer position.

“oi! i’ll feed you to the dolphins!”

“that’s not even threatening!” usopp and nami said at the same time.

after more of a ruckus came from usopp and nami, luffy and vivi were preparing for their adventure on land.

“you sure you don’t wanna come with, [name]?!” luffy asked in excitement, shaking [name] back and forth via his shoulders.

the anchor was thrown down and the ship was now sitting still.

“you’re joking!” nami and usopp cried out together, making [name] laugh at their predicament.

“bento, sanji! bento!”

“bento?”

“a special pirate bento, lots of meat and no veggies!” luffy said excitedly, swinging his arms back and forth, “adventure! adventure! you wanna come, nami? go on an adventure?!”

sparkles were shining around luffy while tears were streaming down nami and usopp’s faces.

and it was finalized, luffy and vivi seemed to be the only ones leaving for an adventure. then, in a couple of minutes, they looked like kids all ready and pampered by their mother (sanji) in preparation for their field trip (they had a backpack full of lunches). even carue had a drink.

the two were running off in a moment and nami turned to [name], crocodile tears still running down her face, “why didn’t you stop that idiot? now we have to sit here waiting for them to return,” she was more so crying out fear, rather than fuming in anger.

“eh? just come with me hunting for some food! it’ll be fun!”

“i-”

“as if!!!” sanji’s loud voice boomed, his foot kicking into [name]’s back hard enough to make the man stumble, “as if…!!!! i’d let you be responsible for nami-chwan’s safety! you wouldn’t be able to properly protect her out there, so don’t even think about!”

“i wasn’t thinking about that,” [name] sweatdropped.

“but you offered, which meant you were thinking about it, which meant-” before sanji could continue on with his tangent, [name] walked away mid sentence. that earned him another earful from the chef, but he truly wasn’t worried about that. he was too busy now thinking of what he would find and catch out in the jungle.

“then, [name] are you ready to go?” zoro’s voice asked, only questioning [name] because he knew that he was also planning on getting off of the ship.

“oh! yes, i’m ready!” [name] cheered, jumping off the side and following zoro’s actions.

“wait! zoro, shit for brains!” both of them stopped to look at sanji, “if you’re both going out, might as well double our food supply. both of you - look for food, anything that seems edible bring it back!”

“alright, alright. i’ll bring back one catch that you both possible couldn’t capture,” zoro said nonchalantly.

[name]’s ears perked up at the notion of a competition. and it seems his instincts were correct as now sanji was jumping at the chance to beat both, [name] and zoro.

“neither of you numbskulls are even comparable in strength to me,” sanji said cockily, leering down at the both of them.

[name] enjoyed this energy! the competitive spirit! and, what he was interpreting as, friendly competition. he was more than happy to participate.

“i could easily catch ten times the amount you guys could, combined,” [name] said easily, looking at the two’s reactions turn bitterfly sour very fast.

it felt as if there were sparks going in between the three way glares.

the three parted ways, shouting on about how they’d bring back the largest prey.

[name] chuckled, licking his lips as he thought of the delicious meal they’d be having later that night. he was definitely feeling competitive, plus the need to prove himself to the crew was so strong. it only fueled him further in finding the best dinner for the night.

_

[ .ᐟ ] the beginning scenes with luffy >>>> + im actualy sucker for luffy + his physical affections. 

[ .ᐟ ] the chapters rn are super short (or too short for my liking) but their lengths will pick up in size soon !!! i swearrrr 

ー

『 prev 』 ˗ˏˋ꒰ 🌊 ꒱　『 next 』

[pastanest]

A/N: just some fun headcannons I thought of for different regenerations of the Doctor with each other’s companions :)

Doctors With Each Other’s Companions

Ten x Clara Oswald 

there is only one reason that these two could not spend more than the 50th anniversary special together: the bisexuals would’ve spontaneously combusted

no but fr 

if they had one full conversation they’d flirt themselves into an outerspace hotel room in approximately 4 seconds 

the tension is palpable 

the HEIGHT DIFFERENCE? I have been found deceased in a sewer pipe

no but seriously a show with these two couldnt be PG 

Eleven was all flustered and bumbling when Clara flirted with him but Ten?? OH, he is SMOOTH AS BUTTER WITH IT once he’s gotten a bit more accustomed to it

The Oncoming Rizz, if you will

Nine x Donna Noble 

these two would probably never get anything done bc they’d be arguing all the time in an epic war to out-sass each other

and Donna would win every time

and Nine would never admit it

if there is ANYONE that could put any Doctor in their place, it’s Donna Girlboss Noble

imagine Nine yelling for Donna like Ten did too, iconic

I’m not sure Nine could cope with Donna for a whole series just in terms of keeping up with her but I think for however long they were travelling together, it would be the funniest pairing in Doctor Who history

Twelve x Martha Jones

first of all, the racism that Ten allowed Martha to experience when he made himself human and chose the time period they’d hide in?? Twelve would NEVER, we saw how he protected Bill!!

second, she would’ve been saved from heartache with this version of the Doctor

Twelve would actually appreciate Martha, in ways that the heartbroken Ten couldnt 

the fact Martha is so smart and has such a vast medical knowledge? Twelve is ALL about it

he’d meet Einstein just to say “Martha Jones is smartest person in this room, after me.”

he has no regard for whether that’s technically accurate or not

Twelve has every faith that no matter the scenario, Martha Jones is smart enough to figure out a solution 

very biased and does not care

Nine x Amelia Pond

now hear me out, this is an odd combo, but ENVISION IT

Amelia Pond would soften Nine like sun on snow, especially if they had the canon meeting of her and Eleven 

he’s more inclined to be blunt, but I think Amy would become his exception in a similar way to Twelve x Clara

like Nine will go on a rant about how stupid the human race is, but then ends it with “-except for Amelia, obviously.”

he roasts Rory to no end, the two of them are the ears and the nose

River Song slaps Nine more than any other regeneration of the Doctor and that’s canon

and if it had been Nine in a Good Man Goes To War, let’s just say his name would no longer be…

Eleven x Rose Tyler

listen listen listen, I KNOW Rose already got two regenerations of the Doctor but it will never be enough for me Im such a whore for Rose’s dynamic with the Doctor I wont take any criticism goodnight

if her relationship with Ten continued with Eleven?? UMM

Rose would be jealous of River to begin with but they’d become besties in no time bc River has obviously heard all about her and is like “You stared into the heart of the Tardis? Slay x”

Eleven and his boyish antics, his bubbling excitement and ridiculous dress sense would have had Rose Tyler GIGGLING

also Eleven could charm anyone, including Jackie Tyler, it’s canon she thinks he’s utterly adorable and actually keeps a supply of jammy dodgers in the cupboard just in case they pop round 

Twelve x Rose Tyler 

SO CUTE 

Rose and her daddy issues, fixed by the lovingly-grouchy grandad that is Twelve? HAND IT OVER RN

also the Scottish accent saying “Rose” would scratch the brain 

similar to Twelve x Clara, except with the canon additions of Captain Jack and Mickey Smith

obviously, Captain Jack still tries to flirt with the Doctor and calls him a “silver fox” and Twelve is like >:( but internally he’s twirling his hair and kicking his feet 

and he forgets Mickey’s name entirely

forgets he’s there, actually

“When was the last time he said something that showed a shred of intelligence? As far as I’m concerned, he’s a vaguely familiar pudding brain.”

[navnae]

Steddie Soulmate Au Part 4

Part 1 || Part 2 || Part 3

Prompt: a clock counts down until you meet your soulmate

Prompt from @phantypurple !!! ❤️

Additional tags: @mightbeasleep @lifealwayslearning @rhaenyyras @im-sam-fucking-winchester @gregre369 @fruitandbubbles @beckkthewreck @cherixxx69 @iwouldsail (I hope it’s okay that I tagged y’all 😖)

Read on AO3

-

“Sure!” Steve said excitedly with a huge smile on his face. In another universe Eddie never would’ve thought of asking Steve for any kind of help especially when it came to anything that involved romance. Then again everything that’s happened in Eddie’s life so far hasn’t been normal in the slightest so he’ll take this over the past events that’s happened so far.

Eddie started smiling wide when heard what Steve had said. He didn’t expect him to have such a positive reaction to what he was asking for. Eddie reached his arm out to give Steve a pat on his shoulder making him shiver slightly, for a split second Eddie saw Steve’s smile fade a little before it returned to the big bright one that he had on his face previously. Eddie smiled softly at him then looked over to where Robin was standing, she was talking to Dustin and Max about something and Eddie thought she looked so pretty when she waved her hands around when we talked about something, the way her eyes lit up when she was excited, he couldn’t put it into words but she drew him in like a moth to a flame. He didn’t realize he was staring until Steve cleared his throat rather aggressively making Eddie snap out of his thoughts. He looked at Steve who was now standing with his arms crossed and he looked annoyed, the smile from before was completely gone now.

“Take a picture it’ll last longer, Munson.” Steve said bitterly as he rolled his eyes. The change in Steve’s attitude caught Eddie off guard. He genuinely looked pissed but Eddie couldn’t put a finger on what could’ve ticked him off in the middle of their conversation. He brushed it off since it was common for Steve get bitchy for no reason, he had several of those moments at school. So Eddie didn’t pay it any mind.

“My bad it’s just… she’s breathtaking. I kind of feel stupid for not realizing that.” Eddie admitted. He should’ve paid more attention to her throughout their school years together.

“I think stupid would be putting it lightly.” Steve mumbled under his breath. Obviously that wasn’t something Eddie was supposed to hear but he heard it anyways. He furrowed his brows as he looked at Steve, the guy was just fuming at this point.

“What did you say?” Eddie asked with a little bass in his voice. The only reason he was getting mad was because Steve started getting snappy out of no where. Steve kept his arms crossed and shook his head.

“Nothing.“ Steve said waving his hand to dismiss the topic. As much as Eddie wanted to slap that attitude out of Steve he couldn’t, that wouldn’t make him look good in front of Robin so he just bit his tongue. Eddie also had to realize that he’d have to deal with Steve for a little bit just so could make his move on Robin, for now he’ll be nice until otherwise. He smiled brightly at Steve hoping that they could be somewhat friendly towards each other.

Before Eddie could say anything the sound of police cars got everybody’s attention making them turn towards the window that was the back of the boathouse. While the four of them ran to the window Eddie scurried towards the boat that he was laying in for majority of the time he stayed there. Once he got into the boat he threw the tarp over himself and he laid there. So many thoughts ran through his head as he tried to make himself comfortable in the boat, now he had to keep in mind that what was happening outside of this building was attached to him. Eddie couldn’t handle the idea that the reason why everyone in Hawkins was going insane because they believed that there was a murderer running around and all of their fingers pointed to him. In some way, Eddie focusing on Robin made it easier to forget about the chaos that had occurred and that kind of made him want to keep fighting even if there’s a possibility that he may not win in the end. When all of this was over he thought about telling her that she was the light that guided him through the darkness and he imagined both of them laughing at how cheesy that sounded but nonetheless it was true. Even with that in his mind, something kept nagging him.

Eddie truly couldn’t live that dream unless Steve kept his word which Eddie had his doubts about. Maybe it was nothing but Eddie had this feeling that the only reason why Steve was upset all of a sudden was because he started talking about how beautiful Robin was, then again anything could’ve made Steve act the way he did. Eddie stopped thinking about all of that when he heard the sirens die down a little bit and heavy footsteps started making their way towards the boat he was in. The tarp that was on top of him was folded back revealing the four familiar faces that he was used to and not someone who would hurt him.

“Eddie, we’re going to leave for a little bit but we’ll come back here soon okay?” Dustin said in a hurry. Eddie knew that they would come back tomorrow and the likely hood of them coming back later that night while Hawkins was in a frenzy was very far fetched. Eddie nodded his head still despite knowing that he’ll be alone again for several hours.

“Make sure to keep these with you just in case.” Max chimed in quickly as she ran to the other side of the boathouse then running back to place the snacks that they got for him in the little space between him and the boat. He laughed softly before holding the snacks close to him.

“Thank you.” Eddie said softly. His gaze focused on Robin and she smiled at him. Eddie’s heart felt like it was going to explode, he smiled back at her while he started blushing. He had so much that he wanted to say to her but there wasn’t enough time for him to form the right words.

“Like Dustin said we’ll come back for you. Just hang in there until we get back.” Robin reassured him before placing her hand on his and giving it a squeeze. Eddie knew this was her way of telling him everything was going to be alright but the butterflies in his stomach kept fluttering around. He felt like a kid talking to his crush, a feeling that he’s never felt before.

“Robin-“ Eddie tried to talk to her but the sound of more police sirens alerted them and they started moving towards the door. Eddie didn’t have much time to think as he grabbed Steve’s wrist before he could run with the others.

“Steve!” Eddie blurted out while he pulled Steve close. Their faces were inches apart from each other and the blush on Steve was face became noticeable when Eddie started to observe his face. For a second it was almost like he was holding his breath but Eddie could’ve been imagining all of it.

“Y-yeah?” Steve said in a panicked tone but he managed to keep his composure for his own sake. Eddie leaned in close enough to Steve’s ear so he could hear him.

“Make sure that Robin stays safe okay? I don’t want anything bad to happen to her.” Eddie whispered. When he pulled away he expected to have a mutual understanding with Steve or at least show some type of reassurance that he would make sure to do that for Eddie. Instead he got a look from Steve that was way different from the look he saw earlier, almost like he was hurt. Steve opened his mouth to say something but he bit his lip. After a few seconds Steve finally settled on something to say.

“Okay. I will.” Steve said softly then giving a half smile. This would be the first time that Eddie has ever seen Steve genuinely smile and he had to admit that a smile suited him a lot more than the angry look. Eddie smiled at him and now both of them seemed to be on the same page when it came to the situation at hand.

Steve gave him a nod before he ran with the others and Eddie was left alone with his thoughts. He rubbed his hands over his face after as he let out a groan. Eddie had no idea how life turned into this for him but there wasn’t much he could do about it. Eddie went over all the things that’s happened in the past few days and he couldn’t process it all at once. He didn’t know what was going to be next for him if somehow he could avoid the narratives that were being put on him and now he had to focus on getting his soulmate to fall in love with him with the help of her best friend who was most definitely going to be a pain in the ass. The longer Eddie had all of this stuff in his mind the more he kept overthinking every possible outcome, taking him to a place he hasn’t been in awhile. He shook his head to get out of his own mind and he took advantage of the snake that were by his side. When midnight hit Eddie laid still under the tarp while his back was getting indents from the hard surface of the boat, not to mention how extremely cold the boathouse was and the tarp was in no way shape or form a blanket that could warm him up. Eddie closed his eyes trying to ignore the rustling of the tree branches that would hit the boathouse every once in awhile and he had to stop himself from jumping after every sound he heard. He was absolutely terrified when it came down to it but he would never admit it, the only thing he could do was try to keep going.

Eddie just hoped that the one he was meant to be with would be there waiting for him on the other side.

-

Part 5

[nights-flying-fox]

Deep (Purple) Thoughts (and Realizations)

◇ Click here to read on AO3 | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 6 ◇

Chapter 4: Tell the Truth

Donnie wants the truth from Leo, but his twin has never been the best at telling the truth.

 Leo would’ve taken them if I didn’t.

 As Donnie walked he couldn’t stop thinking about what Shelldon had told him.

 I watched the security cameras, he came to the lab yesterday too.

 What was Leo up to? Why would he want the recordings? To watch them? Delete them? At least now he had an answer to what Leo was up to in his lab. Maybe he really had heard them, or maybe he was already in the lab long before Donnie and April decided to watch the records.

 Yet, Donnie couldn’t place his finger on what Leo exactly was up to. He knew his twin well. They all knew how he disliked facing his negative emotions, not sharing them easily. Was it why he was acting like that? But why? Did he want to find something? Watch something certain? Take the files, as Shelldon said? Delete everything, forever?

 Did he want to hide the truth from everyone, delete it, and hide his feelings again?

 Donnie wasn't sure if that made sense. But he couldn't know until he asked Leo. 

 Getting out of Shelldon's room he didn't pay mind to his family. They probably were arguing over something dumb or Raph was telling them why they shouldn't be up so late. Donnie right now had a different task in his mind. 

 "Leo," He called to the turtle that was sitting on his table. 

 "Oh hey Dee! Figured out the problem with the recordings?" Leo turned to look at him and Shelldon.

 Donnie didn't answer his question. "Why did you want to get the records?" 

 He briefly saw the surprise on Leo's face. He was quick to act as if he didn't know anything though, "I don't know what you're talking about."

 "Nardo, don't lie to me. I know you came here last night. I know you wanted the records. But I don't understand why." Donnie said. "Is that why you were here tonight? That was your plan from the start?" 

 The room was quiet now. April, Raph and Mikey were watching them. 

 Leo looked away, "Okay okay, you caught me. I came to the lab and wanted to see the records." He admitted. "I was a bit curious, that's all."

 Liar. "Then why didn't you watch them last night?"

 "Who said I didn't?" Leo smirked.

 "Do you really want me to prove it?" Donnie challenged. 

 They stared at each other for a moment. Then Leo sighed, giving up. "Fine. I was here to watch them because I couldn't last night. You are right." He huffed.

 "Why?" Donnie wanted to know, not get a confession from him.

 "It doesn't matter really." Leo shrugged. 

 "It matters to me." Donnie stated. "I want an answer, Leo."

 He looked at Donnie, he didn't seem to be eager to have this conversation. But Donnie wanted answers. 

 Silence kept going on for a while. It was uncomfortable and overwhelming, but Donnie waited. He was glad the rest of his family didn't interrupt. 

 At last, Leo spoke. "Don, I know you don't just record from your point of view."

 Donnie hadn't told them. How could Leo know about this? "You know? How-?" 

 "How else would you know about the thing?" Leo pointed out. The thing, a.k.a. that time Leo tried to make a backflip and failed in a very funny and stupid way. It was Donnie’s precious blackmail. 

 "Good observation." Donnie nodded.

 “What thing?” Mikey asked.

 “Nothing.” Leo and Donnie said.

 "Donnie, when were you planning telling us about this?" Raph cut in.

 "Soooooooon?" Donnie tried.

 Raph shook his head, "You are getting another talk about privacy mister."

 “Privacy? Leo is also guilty here, how did you even figure out my password?” 

 “It wasn’t hard.”

 “I changed it multiple times and added extra security ones.” 

 Leo simply shrugged, “Not a problem for me.”

 “Donnie, we are having a talk.” Raph repeated.

 Donnie huffed, "Can we do this later? Because I still don't know why Leo wants those records."

 "Come on Donnie, it is–"

 "Important." Donnie interrupted. "Speak."

 Leo groaned. "It really isn't. Why do you even care?"

 Donnie was about to explain why he cared and why it mattered, but Mikey beat him to it:

 "Leo, I know you don't like talking about what happened that day but… is it about your time in Prison Dimension?" 

 Silence. Averted eyes, a sigh. 

 Mikey approached him with a soft and encouraging smile, "Talking helps, remember?"

 The youngest had been telling this to them a lot. April did too, but Mikey had taken the lead in making his brothers talk post-almost-invasion. Nobody had wanted to open up, but he had made it easier for them. He always did. 

 "I… well… I don't know." Leo began, pulling his knees towards himself. "I don't want you guys to watch them, okay? That was why I wanted to get rid of them but… it felt wrong."

 "Wrong?" Raph repeated.

 "Yeah. At first the idea of deleting them seemed appealing. Getting rid of the evidence of it ever happening sounded so good. And yet, it also sounded… wrong." He whispered. 

 Donnie wasn't sure if he understood it. But he could see why this troubled Leo. The idea of what they'd see in the recordings was what scared Donnie the most in the beginning. Why would it be different for Leo? 

 Though now that Mikey had mentioned, Leo never had gotten into detail about what happened in the Prison Dimension… What was it he didn't want them to know? 

 What was the truth? 

 Raph walked towards the slider, "Leo, if you don't want us to see what happened in the Prison Dimension, we won't." He said comfortingly. "But I don't want you to keep anything that burdens you to yourself."

 "Heh, the same thing goes for you too, Big Guy." Leo smiled slightly. It was nice to see them trying their best to support each other after the past months. 

 He seemed to not understand what Leo meant though. "Wha–"

 "Donnie's spy cameras must have recorded your day too." Leo pointed out. 

 Raph paled. He somehow must've not realized this fact until now. "Nobody watches the records. Not even a second of them."

 Now that was a bit too much! "But–"

 Mikey looked tiredly at Donnie, "You want to show them your time in the technodrome?"

 "What's wrong with Donnie's time in the technodrome?" Raph asked.

 Uh oh. "Let's not talk about this?" 

 "Boys, boys, boys. I think you're missing a point here." April walked between them, arms open to get their attention. "Do you realize that you don't need to watch them? And the actual reason you are in this situation?"

 "Which is..?" Donnie raised a brow.

 "You don't want to relive that day, which I totally get it, by the way." She explained. "But you're avoiding it. You've been avoiding talking about it even a bit. I fully support you guys, take your time and open up when you're ready, but if you're hurting…" 

 Mikey nodded, "Exactly."

 "This goes for you too, Mike." 

 "What?! Why?" Mikey exclaimed, turning to April.

 "Because you can't keep trying to make everyone feel better and push away your issues."

 "I don't." He retorted. 

 "You do." She said with complete confidence. "You keep saying it is fine, but you never really talked about it, did you?"

 “I don’t have anything to talk about? I am dealing with them fine.” Mikey reassured.

 Liar. Donnie thought. He had seen what Mikey had drawn. All the vent art, involving the Krang. They all had seen it.

 Yet, nobody dared to say anything.

 And the room was filled with silence again.

 Donnie watched as Mikey started fidgeting nervously. Subtle, but it was there. And Leo had slightly curled up to himself. Raph and April looked equally worried and stressed. 

 …

 Okay, maybe they had some issues they all should talk about. He didn't like this, but… 

 Knowing those recordings existed made things worse, didn't it? Donnie never wanted to hurt his family. He wouldn't let anyone get hurt ever again.

 "I'll get rid of them." Donnie announced.

 Now all eyes were on him. 

 "What?" Leo asked.

 "I'll get rid of the recordings. So you won't have to worry about them. Don't worry, I will not watch them." Donnie explained.

 "No- wha- Donnie don't." Leo got off the table and approached him. 

 "Why not? It is what's caused all that mess." Donnie said. He was genuine and was trying to help.

 Leo seemed puzzled for a second, not sure what to say. An unusual sight. Donnie waited for his twin to explain. 

 Finally, Leo said quietly, "Donnie, these recordings are the only thing left from there." 

 There? He couldn't mean… "What do you mean?" 

 He sighed. "Look, I-I know this sounds stupid but, deleting the only evidence of-of that damned place… it's like trying to get rid of the fact it ever happened. A-and yes maybe I am trying to ignore it, but thinking-thinking it never happened feels wrong… after… after everything." He took a deep breath. "This is probably the part where you call me dumdum?" He tried to smile and joke. The keyword was “tried”. When would his twin learn that Donnie was the funny one? Donnie looked at him, and noticed how… fragile Leo looked. And maybe he didn't understand his words exactly. Maybe it didn't make that much sense to him. 

 But he could see Leo was hurting.

 Donnie pulled him into a hug.

 "You're a dumdum for thinking of me ever calling you dumdum for talking it out." He said. 

 He heard Leo's small "heh", then he hugged him back tightly. Donnie could see his brothers and sister looking at them softly. Mikey was the first to join the hug, then Raph and April. Donnie could feel Shelldon leaning towards his side as well. 

 It was comforting. 

 After a while they decided to sit down, leaning at each other kind of like before ending up making a "turtle pile". 

 "You know, I agree with Leo." Raph was the first to talk after the comforting silence. "I think we should keep the recordings. Just in case."

 "Just in case?" Mikey asked.

 "It has information against enemies, right?" Raph sounded unsure.

 Donnie hummed, "That's a good point, Raph. There isn't much information about them after all."

 "I still think we shouldn't watch it unless it's necessary." Leo said.

 "I agree." Donnie immediately said. As long as it kept his family well, he didn’t mind. For now. Definitely.

 "Huh, would you look at that, Donnie agreed with me." Leo smirked. "Eating your words from the previous day, I see."

 Ah, here it was. The immediate regret of his actions. "Shut up Nardo."

 "Never.” He smiled evilly.

 Donnie glared at him.

 “So…” April began, “Do you guys wanna talk about it, or we do it another day?” 

 Donnie glanced around, watching his brothers. Nobody seemed to want to talk about it, not yet. But there was something telling Donnie somebody had to say something. Make way, make it easier. (Was it Dr. Feelings’ sessions working?) And that somebody was him, wasn’t it? After all this mess, he owed them to at least tell them what exactly happened there. Mikey kept telling him talking about it would help after all, so why not now?

 It shouldn’t be that hard.

 He looked at his family.

 …

 Theory wrong. It was hard.

 He took a deep breath. Now or never.

 “I will talk.” 

 Once again, all eyes were on him. April smiling softly, Raph surprised, Leo most likely having a mixture of emotions of surprise and… Donnie wasn’t sure what exactly. Was that guilt? And Mikey looked at him with prideful eyes. 

 Suddenly Donnie didn’t want to do this anymore. 

 “Are you sure about that, Donnie?” Raph asked, his voice caring and careful. 

 He nodded. “I must. Or else Mikey will never stop being Dr. Feelings around me… and I am worried he’ll change his mind and use Dr. Delicate Touch against me.” 

 Mikey grinned, while the rest shivered even with the thought. 

 Donnie didn’t want to mention what they might see or hear in the records if they ever had to look at them, and how much it scared him. It had to be him who would tell them what happened.

 And now, it was time. 

[madsworld15]

Chapter 4, Part 3 of Heal Me, Hold Me, Make Me, Know Me

QAF AU, Brian x Justin, Asexual Spectrum Representation, Series Retelling

As always, my biggest cheerleaders deserve a shout-out: @winderlylandchime @maryp50 and @lostcol

Once they’d settled into their new agreement, Justin seemed much happier, and their conversations returned. Brian felt bad that he had let his ego get in the way of being true to his heart. He really did love having Justin around; it made him feel like he wasn’t going to disappear one day. Brian didn’t ever talk about it with his Liberty Avenue family, but ever since he was a kid, he worried that if someone didn’t appreciate him as he was, he would just stop existing someday. Before Justin, he drank and did drugs as often as he did because it helped him forget his constant worry of not actually being alive.

Brian would never say it out loud to Deb or Michael, or hell, even Ted, but he was actually grateful that Justin insisted they set ground rules for their relationship. He’d always been willing to respect what Justin did or didn’t want from him. So having set in stone boundaries would help him to keep his head on straight without messing up the one good thing going for him. Being a partner at Vanguard was nice and all, but it didn’t spark joy, as Emmett liked to say, in his life. Justin did, no matter how deeply he kept that knowledge hidden under the surface.

Speaking of Emmett, Brian looked up from his computer to find Cynthia approaching his office with Emmett trailing behind her. Brian shook his head at how out of place Emmett looked. His close friend was wearing a pretty tame outfit today, compared to what he normally wore, but his lavender button-down open revealing a dark purple tank underneath was far from what anyone Brian worked with would wear. Even Emmett’s pants made it no secret he was homosexual. After all, no hetero schmuck would be caught dead wearing brown pants that flared at the bottom.

“Hello, Honeycutt,” Brian smirked at the younger man, his eyes alight with mischief.

“Thank you for escorting him, Cyn. Please close the door.”

“Why? Everyone already saw him. You know the rumors are already flying. I’d place big money that most of the art department probably thinks you pay him for sex.”

“I resent that!” Emmett placed a hand on his chest in shock. “I would never.”

“Trust me, Cyn. He means he would never have sex with me, not even for money. He already flaunts his stuff for money on Theodore’s website.” Brian waggled his eyebrows, and Cynthia shook her head with a smile before closing the office door behind her.

Brian waited a beat before he turned to Emmett, who had now sprawled himself into one of Brian’s office chairs.

“So, Em, what brings you here during office hours.” Brian pushed his tongue into his cheek.

“Do you always insist on shocking the straights?” Emmett looked toward the closed door where Brian’s coworkers couldn’t hear what was being said, but the Brunette was acting as though they could.

“I consider it my biggest joy in life.” 

“I would’ve thought that moniker was reserved for Justin.” Emmett gave Brian a knowing look. “Don’t worry. I’m not still mad at you, though I do think you were an asshole for doing it.”

“Yes, I’m aware.” Brian sighed, “Again, I ask, what brings you here.” He didn’t really have time to mess around playing Emmett’s game of being coy. Remson Pharmaceuticals would be arriving this afternoon expecting the perfect ad copy, which was still being finalized, causing Brian a headache.

“So, I met someone.” Emmett smiled and clapped his hands excitedly.

“How is this different from every other day that ends in Y?” Brian looked Emmett up and down, only to discover there was something different about this new guy in Emmett’s life.

“We met because he saw me online and reached out.” Emmett started, and Brian cut him off with a sigh.

“Em! Don’t be stupid. That’s a recipe for disaster or something far worse.”

“Hush. If you’d let me finish, you would know that the man is none other than George Schickle from Schickle’s Pickles. He’s looking for companionship.” Emmett’s voice turned soft and serious. It was like Brian had never heard from Emmett when talking about guys he had sex with. “Which I am more than happy to provide. He’s so kind and funny. I just adore him.”

“How long have you known him?” Brian was wary, especially considering Emmett’s track record for dropping men he “adored” like flies. Emmett wasn’t one to commit, much like Brian. Maybe they were both growing away from all that.

“We’ve been seeing each other for almost two weeks now. I met him not long after Pride weekend. You’re the first to know.” Emmett gave Brian a look and leaned forward, “If Teddy finds out, he will probably prevent me from seeing him. Protecting his business and all that.”

“Yeah, Theodore has been a bit possessive of you lately. I hope he’s paying you what you’re worth.” Brian muttered.

Then he leaned back with a sigh, “So, why are you telling me first? Why not Justin? Wouldn’t it be more conducive to chat with the other housewife of the group?”

“I resent that remark. But, honestly, Justin would never be able to understand how huge this is. Plus, you’re less likely to judge me for shacking up with a man more than twice my age.” Emmett shrugged and then leaned back in his chair as well.

“Oh, do you want me to jump up and down in my chair with excitement?” Brian half-bounced and pretended to clap his hands. The sarcasm was coming in hot, and surprisingly, Emmett wasn’t put off by it.

“If I wanted that, I most definitely would’ve gone to Justin,” Emmett smirked with an eye roll for good measure.

Brian shrugged, leaned his arm on his lap, and turned back to work on his computer. He was actually looking into a computer device that he’d seen in his art department last week. His brain had already forgotten that Emmett was in his office until he looked up and saw the younger man sitting there examining his cuticles. 

“Do you think George would prefer I wear tight shorts instead of pants?” Emmett mumbled, staring at his thighs instead of at Brian.

“Uh…” Brian took a moment to reboot his mind. “I think George is probably happy he can get any at all.” Brian chuckled as Emmett looked up with a glare.

“Can I get your opinion on something?” Brian attempted to turn the conversation to the computer, which he was thinking about presenting to Justin.

“Yes, I do believe your medical ad there needs more men and muscles.” Emmett winked at Brian, motioning to the corkboard propped up to the side of his desk.

Brian dropped his head into his hands and sighed. “No, not about that, but thank you. I was wondering if you thought Justin would get mad if I bought him this computer that he could do art on?”

Brian turned his computer screen around just a bit to give Emmett an opportunity to look at the device he was already set on ordering. Emmett leaned over his desk and gave the image his full attention.

“Will it make him feel like you are trying to change him? That he needs fixing?” Emmett raised his eyebrow.

Brian leaned back. “Fuck. Probably.” With a bite to his lip, he got closer to Emmett once more, “One of our guys in the art department was using one the other day, and I thought it looked like a nice alternative, considering Justin still has hand seizures.” 

“My experience with Justin is that he will be open to a discussion if you present it as an idea, not as a solution. Just talk to him before you make the decision about buying it.” Emmett kissed Brian on his cheek before he skipped out of the office.

That night, Brian decided to forgo Woody’s or Babylon in favor of leaving the office at 6:30 pm and going back to the loft instead. He called ahead and let Justin know he would be coming home soon. Part of Brian did this because it made him feel warm inside, knowing that someone cared whether or not he came home at night, let alone took care of himself. Another part did it because he wanted to be sure Justin wouldn’t be terrified of him the moment he returned, considering the young man was still startled at unexpected people in his space.

When he arrived home with his briefcase in hand, Brian smelled food cooking even before opening his door. Once he had entered the space, the sound of Justin fumbling around in the kitchen made him smile to himself. He put his briefcase down on his desk and entered the kitchen to find Justin surrounded by pots and pans and the makings of a salad. Brian smiled and leaned over to plant a kiss on Justin’s temple.

“What’s this?” He reached into the pot for a taste, and Justin slapped his hand away.

“I’m making some garlic parmesan orzo with chicken. But it’s not quite done yet.” Justin replied with an answering grin and a kiss to the side of Brian’s mouth.

The blonde was about to stir the orzo when he suddenly dropped the spoon and grabbed at his right hand. Brian watched as the young man massaged his right palm as it spasmed. He even attempted to shake it out in an attempt to allow his fingers to uncurl. Brian silently reached over and massaged Justin’s hand while the young man whimpered from what was probably a painful incident.

After a few minutes, his hand relaxed, and Justin was able to focus on his cooking once more. The orzo was somewhat sticking to the pan, but Brian didn’t care. What mattered was that Justin’s hand was alright.

“That was a really bad one.” Brian rubbed his chin in thought, “How bad have they been lately.”

Justin just shrugged, but he wouldn’t look at Brian, which told him all he needed to know about the matter. Alarm bells were going off in Brian’s head. He needed Justin to be honest with him, but he didn’t exactly know how to push him without pushing him away entirely. He loved the man before him and yet he couldn’t bring himself to pressure Justin to reveal just how bad his hand spasms were. What’s even worse, Justin was clearly hiding them from everyone because Jennifer and Emmett would’ve told him if they’d known.

“Justin,” Brian placed his hands on Justin’s shoulders in an attempt to get the blonde to look him in the eye, “When did these spasms become painful? We should tell your neurologist.”

“It’s nothing, Brian. I can handle it.” Justin tried to dismiss his concern, but Brian wasn’t having it.

“That’s not nothing. You were whimpering as I massaged your hand. It's hurting you!” Brian tried not to yell, but his tone did go up an octave in concern.

“So I have a bit of pain now. I can’t afford to have another surgery or procedure done. My mom definitely can’t afford it.” Justin bit his lip.

“Why not let me worry about that part? What’s the real reason you don’t want to go to the doctor?” Brian knew Justin was just using finances as a ruse to get out of a deeper conversation.

“Brian. Just drop it.” Justin turned off the burners. “It’s fine. I’ve just been stretching my abilities to the max in an attempt to finish even one painting.”

“I’ll call your neurologist tomorrow. Until we talk to him, no more painting or drawing.” Brian gave Justin a stern look, and the blonde nodded in agreement.

After a beat, Brian added, “I would rather you do art in a different way, a new way, than risk losing the ability completely because you pushed yourself to do it the old way.” Brian leaned forward with one hand cupping Justin’s cheek and placed a kiss on his lips.

“Drawing and painting help me feel less anxious.” Justin tried to argue, but he gave in to Brian’s kiss and let the emotions carry him. Justin wrapped his arms around Brian’s neck and dived in deeper.

After a bit, Brian pulled away to add more to their conversation. “I know, but they aren’t the only way you can produce art.” 

“If I’m not painting or drawing, then what else do I have?”

“I might have an idea for you.” Brian pulled Justin into a hug against his chest. He wished with all his might he could take away any of these residual issues Justin was dealing with daily.

“The other day, one of the guys from our art department showed me an ad he was working on in real-time. Only instead of drawing it by hand he was doing it on a computer. He said the smaller pen gave his hand more control and didn’t make his muscles hurt as much as painting does.” Brain pulled back to look Justin in the eye in an attempt to gauge his reaction. “It’s just an idea.”

Justin pulled out of Brian’s arms completely. His face turned sour. 

“So, you want everyone to see that poor little Justin can’t do art like a normal person anymore.” Justin’s temper was flaring, but Brian had anticipated he might react this way.

“That’s not what I’m saying at all. I’m saying that sometimes you have to adjust expectations. Art on the computer is still art.” Brian joined his hands together to crack his knuckles while he watched Justin move about the loft, sorting through his emotions on the matter.

“Let me guess. You went ahead and already bought the computer. This is just your attempt to make me like the idea before you give it to me.” Justin turned to Brian with a scoff on his lips and a scornful look in his eyes.

“No, I am telling you about this alternative so that you know it's an option. If you are willing to try it, then I will buy it.” Brian didn’t give in to the frustration or anger Justin was gunning to pull out of him. 

“Right, because you think if you buy things for me, I’ll just forget that I have a fucking gimp hand?! Or that my attackers might get off at the trial tomorrow?” Justin’s deep-seated anger at the whole hand situation started to make sense.

Brian was floored. Did Justin really believe that his attackers might get the charges dismissed? Was the young man really that terrified of a negative outcome that he was willing to allow his injury recovery to possibly backtrack? 

Brian stepped back into Justin’s personal space and wrapped the young man in his arms once more. “Do you really believe that the judge will think they didn’t do this?”

“Be real, Brian. We are faggots. The judge will most likely think we deserve any violence against us because we’ve flaunted ourselves in front of unassuming heteros!” Justin pushed Brian away, which hurt Brian more than he cared to admit.

“You don’t know that. The evidence is damning. You were just standing outside a club and got attacked for no other reason than you were outside a gay club.” Brian didn’t even believe the words he was saying, but he wanted desperately for Justin to believe them.

“Right.” Justin scoffed, “I believe that almost as much as you do. Which isn’t a whole lot.”

“Let’s not think about it.” Brian tried to steer the conversation away from anything resembling the trial tomorrow. “The food is getting cold. Let’s eat.”

Justin reluctantly nodded his head and went back to the kitchen to plate up their food. Brian put out silverware on the table and silently watched the warring emotions still dancing across Justin’s features. He wanted to do nothing more than give Justin the absolution he deserved. The younger man had every reason to be afraid, but Brian just wanted him to feel safe no matter where he was or who he was with.

Yeah. I know that’s a fool's dream. I can’t even say that for myself.

When Justin finally brought their plates over to the table, Brian met him with a smile and a kiss to the side of his mouth. 

“This smells amazing.”

“I hope it’s okay. The orzo burned a little bit.” Justin bit his lip and sat down across from Brian.

“It’s fine. It’ll give the dish character.” Brian cracked a mischievous smile.

Justin shook his head and grinned down at his plate. The two started to eat in companionable silence. 

“Did you know Emmett is seeing someone?” Brian finally broke their silence.

“How is that news?” Justin looked up, confused.

“No, I mean he’s really seeing someone. Like they’ve gone on dates.” Brian shuddered at the word, which made Justin laugh.

“I know you act like dating is the worst thing in the world, but you seem to forget eating dinner with the person you are seeing is considered a date. Even if it’s at your place of residence.” Justin lifted his eyebrows and motioned to the setup between them.

“Well, considering one of the few times I went on a date, I ended up blowing the waiter. I might be favorable to call this that as well.” Brian waggled his eyebrows. 

Justin went silent and began to hunch his shoulders forward and pull his body in on itself. Brian realized the young man felt uncomfortable, so he immediately back tracked his statement.

“I was just kidding.” Brian tried his best to amend his words, but he wasn’t well versed in apologies, so naturally, it didn’t go over well with Justin.

“No you weren’t.” Justin mumbled, “But I understand. You can’t help yourself sometimes. You still aren’t used to people who don’t treat sex as second-nature.” 

Brian opened his mouth to object, but Justin looked up and continued, “Let’s just eat.”

[firewoodfigs]

Tagged by the resplendent @roseofbattles :)

TEN GOOD THINGS IN 2023

1. New York / poetry readings — sometime around September, I got to feed an old, ostensibly impractical dream that’s emerged and lurked around since two decades ago. I wrote a poem and got to read it aloud in a wonderful art studio around Chelsea, teeming with so much talent and heart, thanks to the incredible @mirabile---visu. Thank you, dear friend, for giving my poem a home. I will remember this forever and hold dear to heart all the honest conversations we had over pizza, art and wine <3 you are such an inspiration and I can’t wait to see you again! Thank you too to the insanely talented @go-haywire for putting my words into print and allowing them to rest in a well-bound sanctuary — I carried it with me in New York as a lucky charm, and will always be eternally grateful for your generosity and faith.

2. New Zealand — sometime in April, in between jobs, I got to visit the amazing @tsaritsa in NZ, and it was two weeks of peace and great novelty, including but not limited to riding on a horse, feeding penguins, and donning on a firefighter costume! We also walked a ton and talked a lot and gazed upon a blanket of stars. Thank you for all your hospitality and love which I will never forget (and see you in 2024?!)

3. Other travels — I travelled a lot around Asia this year, for work and for fun! I got to see the cherry blossoms for the first time in my life with Japan with my partner. We also got to celebrate his birthday there, and it was an all around lovely trip; I’m really happy he got to have this break because he’s been truly working so hard in 2023. I also ushered in the new year with a dear friend in South Korea; the fireworks were nothing short of spectacular! We got a strawberry shortcake after and returned to our cute little apartment to just wind down and pen down our hopes for 2023 :) I also got to visit Thailand, Vietnam and Malaysia for work, which were really exciting experiences!

4. Job switch — sometime in April, I was confronted with this HUGE dilemma of staying here in my hometown or moving to… a tax-free desert… the latter meant I’d at least be able to stay with my previous firm, but after a lot of coffees and deep consideration I decided it was better to move on to someplace else and stay put so I could spend more time with my partner. In hindsight it was probably the best decision I could’ve made; 2023 has been quite emotionally distressing for us and I would’ve hated to see him ensure all of that alone. I was mildly apprehensive at first about the switch, but I’ve been really blessed to have the most wonderful colleagues and bosses and am really excited to see what’s in store next :)

5. Meeting new friends, and in a similar vein, catching up and reuniting with old ones :) New York was a dream, in large part due to meeting some of the most luminous souls I’ve had the serendipitous pleasure of knowing during the pandemic—first over a screen, and then in person, over karaoke, and bagels, and coffee, and ice cream, and of course fried chicken LOL. @x-rainflame-x @roseofbattles @nightofnyx8 @beware-thegemini @thatisadamnfinecupofcoffee @annespelledwithane it was so so precious getting to meet you all in New York and I will cherish our time there together forever!

6. Learning a language—I try to learn at least one new word a day, and I’ve also been working on my Japanese since moving into a Japanese firm. It really helps as well to have colleagues that I can practice with—I took classes briefly in college but it sort of just drifted out of my memory after the pandemic because I didn’t speak it regularly, but now that I do it’s been super fun!

7. Getting into Spy x Family — and consequently, getting back into fic writing :) all of this is @nightofnyx8’s fault btw, now I have to pretend I like this stupid fake family a normal amount (when I’m just obsessed an unhealthy amount lmao)

8. Fraud/investigations work — this basically consumed the entirety of my Nov/Dec and there’s not much I can divulge about it (apart from the fact that it pretty much aged me by a decade) but… I felt like Loid Forger and it was fun being a spy for a month. the end

9. Dealing better with anxiety (?)—question mark because my progress is… questionable. On one hand I think I’ve gotten a lot better at regulating (or perhaps suppressing) a lot of associated feelings, but it still gets frightening on occasion when the dam breaks free without much prior warning. Regardless I think it’s a marked improvement from the countless menty bs back in college lmao. To be very frank, having a stable income of sorts has helped a great deal; in college I was constantly plagued with the fear of not having enough to purchase required materials or at times food, and it was just a lot to deal with. It felt like there was no room for failure because I only had myself to rely upon, and success was the only tenable avenue out of poverty, but being able to now obtain necessities and even additional wants has done wonders for my mental health. It’s true that money doesn’t happiness, and I spend a great deal of time daily mulling over capitalism and consumerism and the like, but I cannot deny the sense of security it affords.

10. And finally, falling deeper in love everyday :) it’s easy to think we know a great deal about someone, except we don’t. People may appear simple, but the truth is we’re all a work in progress, and by extension, a continuing story. I could read a million books and write a million poems, but beloved, believe me—you will always be my favourite.

Goodbye 2023, and hello 2024!

[anglophiletraveler]

Chapter 24!!

Ross was beginning to feel antsy about the trip to Nampara.  It was a short work week because  New Year’s Day fell on Friday but Demelza had one last concert for the year with the BBC Orchestra on Wednesday, so they were planning on making an early start on Thursday morning so they could be there in plenty of time to go to Caroline’s New Year’s Eve party.  

“I could take the train down on Thursday if you want to go down a couple of days earlier?” Demelza suggested.

“Heavens no, you are not riding down on the train.  But how do you feel about driving halfway after the concert Wednesday evening?  We could stop at a hotel or a B and B and spend the night.”

“With Seamus?”

“Yeah, why not?  I can just look for a hotel that takes dogs.  I could drive 3 or 4 hours and then we wouldn’t have to get up so early the next day.  I just thought it would be nice not to be rushed during the rest of the day, what with Caroline’s party later that night.”

“Alright if you don’t mind driving at night.  It does sound a bit nicer to get to your parent’s house earlier in the day.”  Demelza was looking at Ross and got the feeling that he was anxious or worried about something. He had seemed distracted during their meal.  “Baby, are you nervous about the trip or the drive?”  

“Huh?  Oh.  Maybe a little.  It’s been quite a while since I’ve been down there and I guess the more I think about it, the more I just want to hurry up and get there.  Does that sound stupid?”  

She took his hand into hers, “No, not at all.  You and your mum are close and you haven’t been home in a while, so it’s understandable.  Plus the whole feeling that they’re holding something back from you about her health must be weighing on you.  Is there anything I can do?”

Ross smiled gratefully, “No, just be there for me.  I have a feeling that I’m going to need you.  And I apologise in advance for any yelling I may do while there.  It always seems inevitable that my dad and I get into it whenever I’m home.”  He kissed her hand that was holding his.

“You two don’t get physical do you?”  Demelza questioned.

“Oh no, nothing like that.  I would never hit my father.  I think deep down he’s always wished that I would’ve stayed in Cornwall, worked with him in the business, and eventually taken it over.”

“But you didn’t want to do that…”

“Well, that had been the plan for years when I was growing up.  We were both looking forward to me going to Uni and then coming back after graduation to help run the business.  But after Claude…. Well, that plan fell by the wayside.  More and more it seemed as though he didn’t want me around after Uni because of Claude’s death, so I accepted the internship at the company where I am now, and just…  stayed.  It seemed to be the answer.  Father didn’t have to look at me as a reminder of Claude Anthony, and I didn’t have to see that look on his face every time I turned around.”

Demelza pulled him into an embrace.  “I’m so sorry that you had to go through all of that.  But didn’t things between the two of you at Christmas seem a little better?”

“Yes, yes they did.  But the question is why?  I’m not different.  I haven’t done anything different except fall in love with you.”  This made Demelza smile.  

“Well, maybe the best thing to do is not to dwell on the why and just accept it.  Can you do that?  For me?”  She was running her fingers over Ross’s hand.

Ross chuckled, “Oh Demelza, my love, that is a hard one.  But I shall try, for you.”  Ross leaned in for a kiss to seal the deal.

 Demelza smiled at him, “Now, are you done with your pudding?  I’ll be able to wash up the dishes before I go to work?”

“Don’t worry about the dishes, I’ll clean up after I take you to the hall.  You just take care of yourself.  I’ll let Seamus outside while you’re getting ready.”  

“Aw, thanks.  You’re a real gent.”  Demelza kissed him again before heading upstairs to get ready for the concert.  

Ross sat and pondered their conversation and the upcoming weekend.  Demelza was right.  He needed to stop asking ‘why’ where his father was concerned and maybe just accept things as they are.  He missed the days when he and his father had been close, when he and his father and Claude had all three been close.  All of the little trips that they had all gone on together.  Maybe the two of them could go out riding together over the weekend.  That might be something to help ease some of the tension. 

***********

Ross was parked in the backstage parking lot for musicians, with Seamus sitting in the back seat, waiting for Demelza’s concert to be over so that they could start the drive to Cornwall.  He had taken Demelza to work and then finished packing up everything at home, along with Seamus’s food and toys.  He double-checked everything on Demelza’s list so as not to forget anything of hers, and finally locked all of the doors.  The car was going to be a tight fit with all of the luggage, Seamus’s bag, Seamus, the cello, and the two of them!  Ross loved this car.  It had been the first major purchase he made when he joined Falmouth, Pascoe & Tonkin.  He loved everything about it - the speed, the way the dashboard looked, the colour, how it handled the curves.  Demelza teased him that he takes care of his car like it’s his baby.  But lately, it had seemed a bit small.  Demelza didn’t drive, so she didn’t have a car of her own, and sometimes it seemed as though her cello was bigger than the car!  And when Seamus was with them, he took up the whole back seat!   Ross looked at Seamus, “Hey buddy what should we do?  I don’t want to give up this car for something larger.  Do you think I could get Demelza to learn how to drive?  Hmmm, what do ya think?  She could get her own car then…  she could get something bigger.  I like that idea better, don’t you?  Hmmm, Seamus? Whadya think boy?”  He looked in the backseat at his canine friend to find him asleep with his paw covering his eyes. His red coat glowed in the moonlight.  “Well thanks!  A fine friend you are!  You’re supposed to be helping me make decisions!”   

It wasn’t long before the musicians started to trickle out of the backstage door.  Usually, the musicians with the smaller instruments came out first.  Flutes and clarinets were much easier to pack up and carry than cellos and bases were.  The noise of the people laughing and talking woke Seamus up and he started barking to see what the commotion was about.  Ross spotted Demelza come out of the door so he got out of the car to help her load the cello in the boot.  She tapped on the window to say hi to Seamus and get him riled up even more.  

Ross gave her a quick kiss, “Hello, my love.  I think we still have room in the boot for the cello.”

Demelza was all smiles like she usually is after a concert.  “Well, I would certainly hope so.  I don’t think Seamus would like to ride on top!”  She watched Ross get everything to just barely fit.  “Honestly Ross, I’m beginning to think we need a bigger car!”

Ross spun his head around quickly to Demelza.  “Never!  See, everything fits just fine.  We just needed to do some clever manoeuvring!  The car is just fine.”

Demelza shook her head and laughed at him while they got in the car.   “Boys and their cars!!”

Ross was rubbing his hand on the dashboard, “Hey you hush now!  This is a beautiful car!  And she doesn’t deserve to be made fun of by you!  Maybe you should switch to a flute or a fiddle!”  

Demelza smacked him across the arm, “Never!  I love my cello.   It’s gotten me through some rough times.”

Ross grabbed her hand and kissed it, “I know Melza.  So, I’ve got us some drinks and some snacks for the road, shall we get started?”

Demelza looked up at Ross with her doe eyes, “Do ya think we can pick up some takeaway?  I’m that starved!”

Ross laughed, “Of course, anything for you, love.”

So with Seamus eating a fortune cookie in the back seat, Demelza eating her beloved Chinese takeaway, and Ross nervously watching Demelza eat Chinese in his car, they began the drive to Cornwall.

***********

Ross had pulled up his road trip playlist on Spotify to pass the time away, and of course, it was 80’s music.  It didn’t take long for the couple to start singing along with the music.  ‘Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go soon turned into Karma Chameleon, and they were currently on a version of Livin On A Prayer.  

“Oh bloody hell, I’ve gotten hot from all of that singing,” Demelza announced.  She lowered the window down for some air to cool herself down.  “I knew I should’ve changed my clothes before I left the hall, this outfit is uncomfortable for a long car ride.”  She raised the window after a bit.

“Well, I think it’s only another hour to the hotel I reserved for us.”  Ross got a grin on his face, “ Then I can help you take your clothes off and get comfortable.”  At first Demelza didn’t catch what Ross said, and then she got it. "Hey! I caught that!!” She laughed with him.

“Hey, we make a pretty good duet there, we should cut a record!” Ross said.

“Don’t you mean a CD?  I don’t think there is much vinyl in the world anymore, unfortunately.  Did I tell you that the orchestra is going to be recording a record, erm, a CD next year?”

“What? No, you never mentioned that.  That’s exciting isn’t it?” Ross asked.

“Yes, it is.  It will be my first recording.  But it brings extra pressure to be perfect in everything I do and play.  Word has it that there’s going to be an audition for the cellos to possibly move up a chair, so I’ve really got to up my game and my practising.”

“Well, when will that be?”

“That’s the thing.  Nobody will know.  They’re just going to spring it on us to see how prepared we are.  We’re all guessing that it might happen in a couple of months, so that gives me time to really, really get it together.  I’ve always gone to Henry for help with auditions, but I’m thinking of taking some private lessons.”

“Lessons?  You?  I didn’t know that a musician of your calibre would have to still take lessons.  Is that typical?”

“Ross, I’m not as good as you think I am.”  Demelza lowered her head.

Ross furrowed his brow, “Love, what are you talking about?  You have to be good to be in the BBC Orchestra.  I don’t know much about classical music, but that is something that I do know.”

“Oh you’re sweet Ross, but I haven’t been practising as much lately as I used to, and I don’t want the maestro to be able to pick up on that.  I have to work hard to keep my place there, harder than anyone else.”

“Why do you have to work harder than anyone else?  I don’t get it.  I’m trying to understand.” Ross was confused.

“Because I haven’t been playing nearly as long as everyone else.  I didn’t start playing until 9th grade.  Most musicians start when they are way younger.  I was lucky to get a scholarship to Uni since I’d only been playing for a couple of years before I auditioned.”

“Melza, doesn’t that just show how good you are?  You got that scholarship because of all the hard work you put in those years and beat out others who had been playing longer than you.  You don’t give yourself enough credit.”

Demelza let out a sigh in frustration and didn’t answer Ross.  She knew deep down that she hadn’t been practising enough for a while now.  She knew in her head that it had started to become less and less when she and Ross became more serious and were seeing more of each other.  She didn’t blame Ross for it.  She was the one that had let herself become undisciplined with her instrument, and that bothered her, especially when she looked back and thought about how much work she had done and others had done to get her to this place.  She can’t just let it slip away because she has a boyfriend.  She’d had a couple of boyfriends before and this hadn’t happened, so why was it happening now?  Surely she can handle a love life and her career at the same time.  Couldn’t she?  She knew Ross was trying to make her feel better, but she didn’t think he understood.  She needs to speak with Caroline.  It had been too long for one of their heart to hearts chats.  “Maybe that can happen this weekend,” Demelza mumbled to herself.

“What?” Ross asked.

“Huh?” Demelza said.

“You said something but I wasn’t sure what you said.”

“I did?”

“Yes, you did.  Are you alright, love?  You seem out of it.”  Ross was becoming concerned.  Demelza hadn’t said much in a while after he talked about her not giving herself enough credit.  Did he upset her?  He had been trying to understand the classical music world.  They’d had long talks about it, and he’s read articles about it in the publications BBC Music Magazine and Gramophone that Demelza subscribed to.  He knew he wasn’t an expert by any means, but he was trying.  

“I’m sorry Ross, I’m just tired.  How far are we from the hotel?”

“It should only be another 10 minutes or so.  I did as you asked and packed a separate suitcase just for our stay tonight so that we don’t have to take out all of the luggage when we check in.”  Ross was wanting to help her in any way he could.  

“Oh good, thank you.  I just thought it would be easier since we have my cello with us.”  Her voice started to sound weary.

“Babe, why don’t you take a quick shower to relax before bed?  I’ll take care of Seamus and the cello, and you just go to the room.”  He picked up her hand and kissed it lovingly.

“I think that sounds lovely.  Thank you.” Demelza smiled.

*******************

After Ross and Dem checked in at the hotel desk, she went upstairs to unwind, and he went back out to the car to give Seamus a walk and then grabbed the cello from the boot.  Ross managed to get the cello and Seamus in the lift by himself and push the button for their floor.  Seamus wasn’t too sure of the lift and started to whine.  Ross smiled down at him, “Oh yeah I don’t think you’ve be in a lift before.  Don’t worry mate, we’ll be on the floor soon enough.”  When the doors opened to their floor Seamus gave a resounding bark.  “Shhhhhh you nutter, before you get us kicked out!”

Ross opened the hotel room door and Seamus didn’t waste time checking the room out. The room was just a typical hotel room, the most important part being a king sized bed, big enough for Ross, Demelza and Seamus.   Ross heard Demelza just getting done with her shower and he opened the bathroom door.  Demelza jumped and covered herself.  Ross gave her a strange look, “Sorry, it’s just me, love.   Um, I was just wondering if you were hungry.  I could go down to the restaurant and get you a sandwich or something.”  

“No, I think I just want some tea and some biscuits.  My stomach is a little unsettled.”

“Right.  I’m sorry you’re not feeling well.  Do you think you have a stomach bug or something?” Ross stepped back from the door to try to give her some privacy.  

“No, I don’t think so.  I don’t know. Maybe I’m just tired.”  Demelza finished getting dressed and stepped out of the bathroom.

“Right.  Well, there’s a kettle in the room, and I’ll go get some biscuits out of the machine.  I put the cello in the corner away from the air vent.”

“Oh thank you for remembering that.  I appreciate it.”  Demelza replied. 

“Sure.  I’ll leave you be.”  Ross said.  Ross was unfeeling uneasy.  He thought she looked pale and almost frail.  Maybe it was too soon to take Demelza home to Nampara and Cornwall.  She seemed to get on with his parents, especially his mum, so he didn’t think it had been too soon.  Maybe she was just nervous about running into her da.  They had talked about that.  He should have warned his parents about that so they would be understanding if she seemed nervous to them as well.  He made a mental note to call them in the morning before they started off.

*************

When Ross returned to the room, Demelza had given Seamus some water in his travel bowl and was settled in bed drinking some tea.  “Here are some biscuits for your tea.  I bought some pretzels too.  Those might help your stomach.”  He bent over and kissed her.

“Ohhh thank you.  I have a cuppa for you on your bedside table.”  Demelza answered back.

“Thanks.  How’s your stomach?  Any better?”  Ross started getting undressed.

“Eh.  A little.  Ross, I’m so sorry.  I know I must seem off or something.  I’ve just got a lot on my mind with the upcoming audition, coming back to Cornwall, and such.  I just need to relax a bit and I’ll be better.  I promise.”

“Demelza, honey, you don’t have to promise me anything.  I’m just concerned about you, love.  If there’s anything I can do to help, please let me know.  Or if you want me to just shut up, just say ‘Shut up Ross’ and I’ll shut up!”  He got up to make sure the door was locked and the lights were all turned off except for the bathroom’s light.  He came back and slid under the covers in his boxers and got himself settled to drink his tea.  Ross took her hand and kissed it. “Demelza, I’m going to ask you something and I want you to be honest with me.”

“You’re scaring me Ross.” Demelza said.

“No, no nothing to be scared of.”  He made sure to look her in the eyes.  “Do you feel that coming down here to my family home was too soon for you?  I didn’t really give you a choice about coming down when we talked about it.  I didn’t think about it actually.  I just assumed that you would want to make the trip with me.  And if that’s the case, that you feel like it’s too soon, then we can turn around and go back home to London.  I can make up some excuse to my parents as to why we had to turn around and go back, but I don’t want you to feel forced about going.”

Demelza was shaking her head in amazement at the man she loved.  “Oh Ross, I don’t deserve you.  Of course I want to be here with you.  It’s not too soon.  I’m looking forward to seeing the infamous Nampara!  I am worried about running into my father, but I can’t let that worry paralyse me anymore.  I’m more concerned about the audition, but we can talk about that later.  Don’t worry about me, okay!”  She moved closer to snuggle in with Ross and gave him a long, passionate kiss.  “I love you so much, Ross.”

Seamus jumped up on the bed and joined them.

 Ross started chuckling at Seamus.  “You should have seen Seamus in the lift!  He started whining as soon as it started moving, and then when it stopped he wobbled around like he was drunk!  It was pretty funny.”

Demelza looked at Seamus and rubbed his head, “Aw Seamus, didn't you like the lift?  I don’t blame you, they always make me a bit nervy as well.”  

Ross looked at Demelza, “Do they?  I don’t think I knew that.  Why is that?” 

“Oh, it’s silly really.  I had never been in one until I went to Uni.  The practise rooms in the music building are all on the upper floors, so if you’re carrying a cello, it was easier to use the lift.  Only one time the doors got stuck and wouldn’t open.  The lift would go up and down, but the doors wouldn’t open.  I finally figured out how to set the alarm off.  Before I knew it, there were firemen and policemen in the building trying to pry open the door.  I was trying not to panic because I didn’t want anyone making fun of me when the doors would finally open.  One of the firemen actually burned his hand in the electricals trying to get the bloody doors open.  Finally, the head of maintenance for Uni showed up with the key to the elevator and was able to unlock the doors.”

“Bloody hell, that must have been awful!”

Demelza sighed.  “It was, but you know, I still make myself use them.  It’s kind of hard not to with a cello.”  Demelza snuggled into Ross’s arms.  

“Don’t worry, I’ll make sure that nothing’s going to harm you.”  Ross kissed the top of her head.

“Oh Ross, you can’t promise that can you?  You can’t hold my hand 24/7, or wrap me in bubble wrap.  I learned a long time ago how to take care of myself.  I didn’t have a choice.  But I just never had to worry about a lift growing up.”  She laughed at herself.  

Ross pulled her in for a long kiss.  “Let’s get some rest, okay?  It’s been a long day, and I would really like to hold you while you fall asleep.”

“Mmmm I’d like that lover.”  Demelza wondered to herself if she wasn’t just one big ball of worries or issues for Ross.  To her, it seemed like every time she turned around they were discussing some issue of hers from her past.  Was it fair to burden Ross with all of that?  She would like to just blink and make them all go away and forget them.  Will Ross finally just tire of it all and break up with her?  She closed her eyes to try to fall asleep and felt a tear leave her eye.

*****************  

The morning found Ross spooning Demelza, Demelza spooning Seamus, and Seamus twitching in his sleep as he was dreaming of running with a beautiful female Irish Setter running next to him in a field of lavender.  Ross slowly woke up to Seamus’s movements and smiled to himself at the scene in front of him.  He quietly got up and made his way into the bathroom to take a shower.  They weren’t in any rush this morning so he let Demelza get some extra sleep.  They both seemed to have had a restless night of sleep.  

Demelza woke up to the sound of the shower.  Her mind drifted to her thoughts last night and their conversations in the car.  Maybe she was making more out of things than what they really were.  She looked at Seamus.  “What do you think Seamus?  Am I making a mountain out of a molehill?”

“What are you going on about?” Ross came into the room drying himself off.

Demelza jumped at the sound of his voice.  “Oh, nothing.  Just something between Seamus and I.”  She sat up against the headboard.

“Hmmmm, should I be jealous that you’re confiding in Seamus?”  He pushed Seamus over and sat down on the bed and bent over to give her a slow kiss.  “Morning my sweet Demelza.”

Demelza ran her hand to the back of Ross’s head through his wet curls.  “Maybe.  Mmmm morning.  How did you sleep?”

“Mmm, a little restless.  How about yourself?”

“Same.  Sorry if I kept you awake.”  She continued kissing his ear.

“Oh, you didn't.  I think we were both probably restless after the drive.  When I woke up I was spooning you, and you were spooning Seamus.  Speaking of which, I think I better get him outside and let him do his thing.”

“Oh must you?”  Seamus barked.  “Oh alright.  I was hoping for a little….”

Ross smiled at her, “A little what?”

“You know, a little….  fun?”  Demelza was trying to be a little bold in asking for what she wanted sexually, but it wasn’t easy for her.

Ross took heart in her trying to be forward and gave her another kiss.  “Ohhhh, well we could probably arrange something when I get back.”

***************

Ross was out walking Seamus when his phone rang. He noted that it was Joshua. 

“Dad, hi, what’s up?”

“Hello, Ross.  Look Prudie and your mum were wondering if you could stop off at the shop and pick up a few items.  I would do it myself but I’m helping Jud with a hole in the fence.”

“Sure, no problem, just text me the list and any specific instructions.”

“Alright, I’ll tell them.”

“Say, Dad. Um, you know that Demelza is from Illugan don’t you?” Ross asked his father

“Yes, I suspect she might want to visit with family while you’re both here.”

“No, no, that’s what I wanted to mention.  Demelza and Drake haven’t had contact with their da in years.  There was a lot of abuse in the family.  I thought Mum might have told you about this.  But anyway, she’s been nervous about coming down here because she’s worried that she might run into her da.  So if she seems a bit off, that’s probably the reason why.”

“Oh, yes, I remember your mother saying something.  Well, hopefully, nothing like that will happen.  What’s her father’s name?”  Joshua replied.

“Tom Carne.  Supposedly he doesn’t stray from home much, so hopefully, she won’t run into him.  I just wanted to make sure you were aware.”  

“Alright.  When do you think you’ll be on your way soon?” Joshua asked.

“Probably an hour or so.  I’m walking Seamus now, and we haven’t had brekkie yet.  Just text me the shopping list and we’ll stop and get it on our way.  I’ll text you when we head out.”  Ross answered back.

“Alright, sounds good son.  We’ll see you when you get here.  Cheers.”

“Cheers Dad.”

Jud looked at Joshua as he ended his call with Ross.  “So Mr. Joshua, are ye finally goin to tell yer boy the truth of what’s goin on down ‘ere?” Jud asked in a voice that all of his 60-some years of life has made it sound like he had swallowed a bunch of gravel.

Joshua squinted at him with the sun in his eyes, “That’s the plan, Jud.  That’s the plan.”

“Well, it’s ‘bout damn time if ye ask me.  He should’ve been told a long time ago.” Jud scolded his boss.

“Well Jud, the decision wasn’t mine to make, it was up to Mrs. Grace, so we all have had to abide by that decision.  But it’s not going to be easy, tell…”  Joshua stopped talking because of the knot in his throat that rose from his gut.  “Fuck Jud.  I can’t lose her.  I can’t…”

Jud rested a hand on Mr. Joshua’s shoulder.  The two men had gone through alot together over the years.  

****************

After the phone call, Ross and Seamus returned to the hotel room, to find Demelza dressed and packing up the overnight bag.  Ross was a little puzzled.  “Hey, you're dressed. Did I take too long?”

She turned to him and put her arms around him.  “Well lover, while you were gone, my visitor showed up.”

Ross furrowed his eyebrows, “What?  Who visited you here?”

Demelza tilted her head and gave Ross the side eye, “My monthly visitor.”

Ross just stared at her tilting his head like Seamus, and finally, it hit him what she was trying so delicately to say, “Oh, oh, ohhhhh, I get it.  You got yourrrr, oh um yeah I get it.”  Ross was hoping that his face wasn’t turning red by now.  He cleared his voice, “Well, that’s a bummer.  Is there anything I can do? To help you feel better?”

Demelza was getting a kick out of watching Ross stumble over the topic of discussion.  They had never really talked much about this aspect of her life since they officially started living together. Her cycle had never really been regular growing up, which her gynaecologist attributed to the malnourishment she endured while growing up.  When she moved in with Ross and went on the pill, her cycle became normal and she was having to deal with it more than ever before. 

“Not at the moment, although I might need a back rub at some point this weekend.  It’s probably why I wasn’t feeling well last night.  Oh, and I’ll need to stop off at a shop before we go to your parents so that I can pick up some supplies.  I have a few things with me in case of an emergency, but I will definitely need more.”

“Supplies?  Oh yes, supplies.  I’m sorry, I don’t mean to sound like a stupid idiot.  It’s been a long time since I’ve been with a woman when she had her… visitor.”  Ross’s phone dinged.  Saved by the bell he thought to himself.  It was Prudie sending her shopping list.  “Oh, and we need to stop off at the shop anyway.  Prudie just sent me a shopping list.  So, you can get everything you need.”    

“She sent you a shopping list?  Is that normal?” Demelza was curious now.

Ross wrinkled his brow again, “Actually, no.  It isn’t.  Dad said he was helping Jud fix a hole in the fence so he couldn’t go.” Ross wasn't really sure why his dad would be going to the store instead of his mum anyway, but he went along with it.  He looked at his watch, “So I guess we should finish up packing, get something to eat and then head out.”

“Okay, although I’m not really hungry, I’ll just drink some tea while you eat.”  Demelza pulled Ross closer to her by his belt loops and nuzzled on his neck.  “And just for the record, I am disappointed that we won’t be able to make love this weekend, even though I was nervous about doing it in your parent's home.”

Ross wrapped his arms around Demelza and hugged her tight.  “No worries, I understand.”  Seamus barked at the couple.  “And Seamus understands too!”

**************

Ross was parked in the parking lot of the grocery store.  Demelza was looking at the list on his phone that Prudie had sent.  “Leeks, potatoes, mush peas, carrots, cream, flour, bacon, a beef roast.  Looks pretty standard.  Are you going to stay in the car with Seamus, or do you want me to stay in the car with Seamus?”  Demelza asked.

“I think we can both go in.  It won’t take us that long, and he’s usually pretty good in the car by himself.  Besides, you have to buy your supplies.  I might be a man of today’s world, but I have yet to buy feminine hygiene products.  Oh and let’s forget that she said mushy peas, and let’s get frozen peas.  I hate mushy peas.”  Ross said.

Demelza laughed at Ross.  “Oh, you poor male specimen who has never purchased tampons….”

“STOP!!!!  I hate that word!!”  Ross screamed.

Demelza looked puzzled, “What word?  Ohhhh tampon!  You seriously don’t like the word tampon?”

“Please stop saying it!!  Just say feminine hygiene products or something.” Ross begged.

Demelza laughed, “Oh this is going to be priceless for the next 40 years!  What about the words Maxi Pads!!  Do you hate those words too?”

“Demelzaaaaa please stop!”  Now Ross was whining.

“Do the words mushy peas have the same effect?”  Demelza was now playing with Ross’s ear and tickling him.

“Stoooop! No, I don't mind the words mushy peas, I just hate the way they taste and the texture of them makes me want to gag!!”

“Oh, you poor baby!  Alright, we’ll both go in to get all of the food including frozen peas, and TAMPONS!!!!!”   Demelza laughed at the gagging sound that Ross made.

***********

Ross and Demelza had made it through the shop quickly enough even with old friends of the family stopping Ross to say hello to him.  They had paid for all of their groceries and the TAMPONS and were making their way back to the car when they heard someone yell at Ross.

“Ross Poldark!!  Good to see ye back in town.”  Ross turned around at the familiar voice.

“Zacky Martin!  How the hell are ya, mate?!”  They both gave each other a huge, brotherly hug.  It’s great to see you Zacky.  Oh let me introduce to you my girlfriend Demelza, Demelza this is Zacky Martin my best mate in Cornwall.  I’ve told you about some of the trouble we used to get up to!  Zacky is Jenny’s uncle.”

“Oh yes, that Zacky!”  Demelza held out her hand to shake his hand.  “It’s nice to finally meet you and put a face to the crimes that have been committed!!”

“Well Ross you sure have yerself a looker here, and I can tell a brave smart one!  Much better than that Elizabeth.”

Ross cleared his throat, “Yeah well, it just took me a while to find the right someone to put up with all my bullshit.”

Zacky looked at Demelza, “Well Miss Demelza you sure have your work cut out for ye.”  Zacky looked at Ross seriously, “So, I suppose Ross, you bein’ here to come to see yer mum.”

Ross wrinkled his eyebrows in puzzlement at Zacky, “Yeah, she did ask us to come home over New Year’s weekend.  They came up for Christmas, so she was adamant about us coming down to Nampara for New Year’s…”  

Ross saw a strange look on Zacky’s face staring back at him.  “Right, right, she seemed very excited the other day that you were comin’ down.  Well, I better get going before Mrs. Zacky sends the coppers out for me.  Ah, it was good seeing you again Ross, nice to meet you, Miss Demelza.  Cheers.”  

“Zacky…” Ross yelled after his friend, but Zacky just waved at him.

Demelza and Ross watched how fast Zacky took off and looked at each other. 

“Well, love, I’ve only just met the bloke, but even I just got a weird vibe from him,” Demelza responded.

Ross looked at her, “You’re not wrong, love.  He acted like he couldn’t  get away from me fast enough,  like he …knew something.”  Ross pushed the grocery cart over to his car to unload it.

“What do you mean Ross?  What do you think he knows?”  Demelza helped load up the groceries and got back in the car while Ross took the cart back.  She was worried about Ross and the look on his face.  

Ross got back in the car and put his seatbelt on and didn’t say a word at first.  He was just staring ahead and was gripping the steering wheel, knuckles white.  “I’ve known Zacky all my life.  He’s gotten me through a lot of shitty times including Claude Anthony’s death.  I’ve never seen him skirt away from a conversation like that before.  He said something like the reason we were here was just to see me, mum, didn’t he?  Is that what you got out of what he said?”

Demelza was starting to feel really concerned for Ross, and any possible reasons as to why Grace had really asked them to come down for New Year’s.  “I thought that’s kinda what he was getting at.”  She put her hand on his shoulder hoping that he could feel her support.  

“Why would we be here just to see mum, Dem?  This just confirms my feeling that my mother is sick.  Really sick.”  His eyes started to tear up.  He pounded on the steering wheel a couple of times.  Demelza gently grabbed his arm and stopped him.  

“Ross, I’m so sorry.  What can I do?” Demelza was reaching to hold him in any way that she could.  

“I don’t know.  I don’t know.  I just want to scream and punch something!!  How could they keep something like this from me?  I bet this was all Dad, keeping me out of the loop on purpose.  It has to be!”

“Shhh, Ross darlin.  Oh my love, go ahead and cry.  It’s probably best to get it out now instead of at home.”  This was one of the few times that Demelza has ever wished that she could drive.  Ross wasn’t in a good place to drive right now, even if it was just a few miles down the road.  She could probably fudge it if it was an automatic, but the sports car was a stick shift and she knew that she would probably ruin the car if she attempted it.  She never understood that whole foot pedal thing and shifting.  “Ross, do you want to go sit down somewhere like a coffee shop to settle yourself down?  Maybe some tea would do you some good.  I’m not familiar with this area so I don’t know what’s around but I’m sure Google could help me find something.”  She started looking at her phone for a coffee shop or restaurant.

“No, I’ll be fine.” Ross was wiping his eyes with the heel of his hand.

“Are you sure?  We’re really not in any hurry.  Oh look, there’s a place just down the street here.  Let’s go check it out.”  Ross looked at her phone and shook his head.  He started the car and headed for the local coffee shop.  He was just hoping that he didn’t run into anyone that he knew. 

They went in for a cuppa and some biscuits and sat near the window so that they could keep an eye on Seamus.  Ross took a big sigh and rubbed his hands over his face and then rubbed them on his thighs.  Demelza had learned a while ago that this was a habit of Ross’s when he was nervous or stressed.  He touched his face a lot.   Demelza grabbed one of his hands and didn’t let go.  They didn’t say much. Demelza felt it best not to talk about it and get Ross stirred up again.  She hated to see him like this, but she knew how close Ross was to his mum.  

Demelza looked at the time on her phone.  “Do you think we need to let Seamus out somewhere to do his thing?”

Ross shook his head no.  “We’re not that far away.  He’ll be fine.”  He pushed his chair away from the table and threw away the napkins and cups.  Demelza got up and grabbed his hand as they left the coffee shop and went back to the car.  She wrapped him in her arms before they got in the car and just held him tight.  Ross tucked his face into Demelza’s neck and breathed in her scent.  “Thank you, Demelza.”

“For what?”

“For encouraging me to stop and take a beat, calm myself down a little.  You knew what I needed before I did.”  He raised his head and gave Demelza a long kiss on the lips.  It wasn’t a kiss of fire and lust, but one of love and gratefulness.  He pulled away to look into those blue eyes.  “Every day Demelza, I thank God that you are in my life. I love you more and more every day of our life together.”

“Oh Ross, now you got me in tears!”

He bent his head to look at her.  “Struth, my love..”  He gave her another long kiss, while Seamus started barking at them to get going from inside the car.

**************

Side Note:  The story about the lift/elevator really happened to me when I was 12! Lol.  I was in the elevator by myself for 90 minutes.  It would go up and down but the door wouldn’t open, and a fireman did get his hand burned trying to get the electrics to work!

Song Cue!!  I didn’t give this chapter a Beetles or Billy Joel song title.  As I was writing the chapter and going over and over it, I realised that I put a song cue in it.  I couldn’t remember what the song was, but I could hear just the first line of it.  Did you spot it?  It’s from the musical “Sweeney Todd”!  Strange I know lol.  

[thedo0zyslider]

Explosions Across Lifetimes - Chapter 4: Hellfire and Ice Cold Secrets (3k words)

The next monthly meeting rolls around rather fast. Demons are discussed and secrets are revealed.

A03 Link

Thing’s got bad fast . It was kinda impressive, how quickly everything could go to shit. The next meeting between the empires wasn’t going to go well either, since everyone arrived looking sour as a lemon. 

Fwhip wasn’t any better, slumped over in his chair and a scowl permanently etched into his features. Even small, admittedly adorable, smiles from Jimmy wouldn’t cheer him up. He felt a bit bad about not talking to the Cod at the meeting, since they’d had limited contact over the past month. The relationship had cropped up at a stupid time and was honestly at the back of Fwhip’s mind for a little while. 

He didn’t have much time to ponder on that though, as Pixl started the meeting as soon as they were all sat down. 

“I think we can skip the formalities.” The Copper King began, giving his fellow emperors a glance each. Like we were ever formal, Fwhip thought sarcastically, trying to make his expression look better than he felt. “We all know what we’re here to discuss.”

“Yeah,” Joel said, giving a pointed look at two spots in particular, Sausage and Joey’s chairs. “Why are there only ten of us?” The Count was not appreciating how blunt the Mezelean could be, and it certainly wouldn’t be the last time. 

Shrub’s voice was shaking quite a bit as she spoke, so much so every word sounded forced out of her. “I don’t know where Joey is.” She said, working her hands against the fabric of her pants. “He just stopped talking to me and I couldn’t get into his empire, the guards kept me out.” She was giving her worried look to the meeting table, unable to meet any set of eyes currently on her. “They said he was busy every time I tried! Joey’s not that busy!” She looked up, voice higher pitched with distress. “He lounges in his own wealth all day! He doesn’t do actual ruler stuff, not anything like paperwork anyways!”

Pix rested his chin on his hands, gaze unusually worried for him. “He’s gone quiet on my end as well. Hasn’t checked in on the totem trade in almost two months.” 

“That solves Joey, but where’s Sausage?” Lizzie asked, and all remaining eyes flashed towards the Wither Rose Alliance members, including Scott. The elf was apart of the alliance, but he’d never been big on meeting up before, and hadn’t acted like he had any allies since the demon showed up. 

Gem couldn’t look up at anyone, gaze becoming permanently fixed on her fidgeting hands once their brother was brought up. His sister’s ears were pointed downwards, a sign of inward distress from her. Pearl’s gaze shifted to Fwhip, her lips pursed together tightly. It became clear to the Count that he had to be the one to answer their friends' questions, and he wasn’t happy about it. The situation had hurt him the most behind Pearl. 

He took a deep breath, steadying himself. “Sausage had been…kicked from the Wither Rose Alliance.” He said, feeling his ears flatten back unconsciously. Sausage had been getting too dangerous, they’d had to kick him out. It wasn’t safe for their people, it wasn't safe for them. “He hasn’t made contact since.” Fwhip would have known if Sausage talked to any of them since that day, he simply would’ve. He’d been checking any mail, any note or message he received. He pestered Gem and Pearl if Sausage had said anything to them daily, sometimes talking to them a few hours after their last conversation just to make sure. He was concerned by the sudden ghosting. Sausage didn’t ghost people, he simply didn’t . The brunette would tell people where he was going before he purposefully disappeared, he always had. Mythland’s ruler couldn’t in good conscience just leave all his loved ones to worry without a hint of his whereabouts. Something was wrong, deeply, terribly wrong.  

Concerned murmurs passed along the table and Fwhip rested his forehead in his hands for a moment, glaring into the wooden table beneath him. Small conversations started around him but the Count drowned them all out, focusing on the patterns in the wood until the sea of emotions left him. He could break down later, at home and in private, not in front of friends and a few enemies. 

He could feel someone looking at him though, who was probably the only other person at the table not engaged in a meaningless conversation. Fwhip glanced up, meeting the kind brown eyes of Jimmy. The Codfather gave him a small smile accompanied by a reassuring look. For a moment Fwhip let himself get lost in that look and believed, for just a second, that everything would be okay. He smiled back at Jimmy, hoping his expression convened the fondness he felt for the other. 

“How about we discuss strategies for dealing with the corruption?” Pix interrupted all the small conversations, everyone's head turning to him. “There’s no use in fighting the demon if we can’t stop a side effect of its powers.” 

“Their name is Xornorth.” Gem muttered quietly, getting a few surprised glances. Fwhip didn’t notice, but Scott was struggling to conceal a look of dread from where he sat.  

“I’m sorry?” Pixl asked, confused but not unkind. 

“Xornorth.” Gem repeated the name, one that sounded suspiciously eleven like. Elvish magic, maybe that's what they were dealing with, some old elf stuff. It sounded reasonable to Fwhip. The magic being old would explain why no one, not even their elf, knew what it was. “I interviewed it, and that’s the demon's name.” His sister said it so simply, like interviewing a demon was a normal occurrence. 

“ They? ” Shrub said curiously. 

Gem waved her hand. “One of its pronouns, they, he, it, sometimes none.” The wizard explained. Asking for pronouns was actually a good idea, and Fwhip knew he would’ve glossed over that fact. Not because he disrespected pronouns, he just tended to get too into his information gathering. If he had a chance to contact the demo-Xornorth he;d be trying to squeeze every ounce of information out of it, every ounce he wanted to give. 

“Well,” Pixl said with an awkward cough. “To get back on track, I’ve found that the demon doesn’t like copper. The corruption won’t go within ten feet of The Vigil, either” 

“I don’t imagine he’d like holy places much.” Pearl said. “It is a demon after all.” Murmurs of agreement followed her, and Fwhip decided to offer up information next. He wasn’t in a talking mood, so might as well get it out of the way. 

“Redstone also wards off the corruption.” He said, ears flicking in slight annoyance. Redstone, redstone! It had taken him so long to figure out the tentacles hated the mineral, and it was his favorite one! It was all over his empire for god’s sake! How had he not noticed sooner!

“It doesn’t like prismarine, or sea lanterns.” Lizzie said, looking around to see if anything else was to be added. 

“It's not fond of the beanstalk.” Pearl spoke again. “Don’t know what magic Sau- he put in my lands, but it’s working pretty well.” God it hurt to just say his name, just to hear it said.

 “The tentacles don’t like the overgrown, but I think that falls under magic holy places.” Katherine said. The fae glanced at Jimmy. “How about the Codlands?” “Doesn’t like the church, or my nether portal for some reason.” The Codfather said, more mutters of agreement occurred at the mention of the nether portal. Fwhip wouldn’t have noticed, he hadn’t been to the nether in a month, not even for resources. He’d been knee deep in worry over all this demon stuff. 

“It doesn’t like gem crystals, or any of my magic really.” Gem said, louder than she was the first time. “A tentacle tried to take Gandalf though.” His sister frowned at the last part, and Fwhip remembered the incident. Gem had called him over for help, crying uncontrollably, her beloved cat almost being murdered had understably shaken her deeply. 

“The demon, it-it” Shrub’s voice was small and cracking when she spoke up next, gripping the fabric of her clothes again. “It’s been killing my wolves.” 

“Oh Shrub,” Pearl said softly. “I’m sorry, I really am.” A wave of sympathy for the gnome crashed over the room, halting the conversation. Everyone knew how important the wolf pack was to Shrub. The dogs were her daily, the only one she had left. 

Before the gnome could even utter a thank you Joel was opening his mouth to speak, and Fwhip wished he wouldn’t have. This was where the meeting went downhill, along with also being the stupidest thing the engineer had ever heard. And he’d heard a lot of bullshit in his time. 

“I don’t know why you’re all so pressed about this.” The king said casually. “The demon clearly isn’t real.” 

“ WHAT!? ” Shrub yelled, grief now mixed with anger. It was quite scary, seeing such a usually nice person so upset. How could such emotion even be stored in someone so small, Fwhip had to wonder. She half stood from her seat, gripping the table’s edge with all her tiny might. “If it’s not real then what killed my people Joel!?” The gnome continued, fighting the tears pricking at the corners of her eyes. “Why was my home burned , Joel? Why are they dead? Why are my parents dead -?” She was cut off by Katherine gently coaxing her back down into her seat fully, and Lizzie managed to shut Joel up with a few stern looks.

“Does the corruption dislike anything in your empire, Joel?” Pix said, very desperate to keep this meeting on track. 

“The Mezlean mother tree.” Joel said. “But I usually just build over it, so I’m not sure what else.” The way the other ruler said it, like none of this mattered, was driving Fwhip crazy, and he was very glad when attention was turned to Scott, who’d been strangely quiet for the whole time. 

“It’s not fond of the church, or the owls.” The elf said a bit too slowly, like he was choosing his words carefully. He looked nervous, like he was hiding something, like he knew more than he was letting on. Fwhip narrowed his eyes as Scott continued to speak, ears twitching with suspicion. 

“It doesn’t like anything related to Aeor really, not just the church, and I think i know why…” Scott trailed off after that, leaving the room to fall into silence. He was looking at his hands with a certain, barely hidden look, a look of shame. And Fwhip wanted to know what the oh so great ruler of Rivendell had to be ashamed for.

“Scott,” Gem asked from beside him, sounding unsure. “What do you know about Xornorth?”

“Xornorth is ah,” Scott paused, picking his words carefully. “Was corrupted by a stag god from Rivendell.” The elf continued when everyone sat in stunned yet curious silence. “He’s possessed by the god Exor, and i’ve kinda known since the start-”

“ What!? ” Jimmy stood from his chair in a flash, outrage clear in his gaze as he cut Rivendell’s king off. Lizzie was trying and failing to get him to sit back down, but that didn’t matter, because Fwhip and Gem were standing alongside him, giving Scott equally outraged looks. If Joey were here and on their side he was sure the Lost Emperor would be standing with them, maybe even throwing a weapon at the elven ruler. 

“All this time!” The Codfather exclaimed, gripping the edge of the table. “You knew all this time! It’s been months. Months of torment!” Jimmy yelled. Lizzie gripped his hand, a final plea for him to calm. He ripped it away from his sister’s grasp.  “And you didn’t say anything?” An edge of hurt leaked into his voice at the end, and Fwhip was guessing it came from his previous relationship with Scott. The elf closing himself off because of the demon had contributed to their partnership ending, and Scott knowing made the situation worse than it had been before. 

Hurting Jimmy personally was also not helping Fwhip’s temper, and he was about ready to walk over there and give Scott a piece of his mind. He saw Joel begin to rise as well, and was reminded how short the king's temper could be. The smaller was probably also not very happy about Scott hurting Jimmy, considering he didn’t believe the demon was real, and Fwhip had never been more ready to ally with Joel of all people. A slam on the table stopped them, heads turning to the Copper King once more. 

“Sit.” Pix’s icy instruction was enough to freeze everyone in place, save for an indignant whip of Jimmy’s tail. It was a tone very rarely heard from the man, and it was sure to be directed at Scott in just a few moments. Joel was the first to sit down, mainly because he hadn’t gotten far, while Fwhip had somehow ended up a few paces from his chair, Shrub ready to jump up and stop him. 

All of them sat down slowly, Jimmy having to be shoved back into his seat. He was giving Scott a look, one so full of betrayal and disbelief and hurt that Fwhip’s heart was twisting itself into painful knots at the sight of it. He restrained himself from leaving claw marks in Katherine’s nice, and probably expensive, wooden table. Though it certainly wouldn't have hurt her money if she had to fix it, they were rulers after all. He still didn’t though, even if the table or the chair under him was a better option than his clothes or his leg. The Count wasn’t clawing anything at a formal meeting, that was another thing for later. 

Scott looked so guilty, unable to meet anyone's gaze, and Fwhip was glad. He knew who the next person kicked from the Wither Rose Alliance would be. 

“Scott,” Pix began slowly, failing to keep the light anger from his tone. “How do you know about this?”

Scott, now stuck and forced to continue his admission, steadied himself with a series of deep breaths before speaking again. “It’s a legend in Rivendell, the one of Aeor and Exor.” His voice was shaking, like he was holding back sobs. Fwhip didn’t care how much this whole demon thing was hurting the elf at the moment, just taking a sick kind of pleasure at said hurt. He’d kept all this a secret and let the empires suffer for months, almost a year now, a little emotional pain was well deserved. 

“Aeor and Exor were the only two gods left after the corruption initially spread, the others falling into a slumber. But Exor grew jealous of his brother's fame,” Scott repeated the story easily, as he;d probably heard it millions of times as a child. “Aeor was forced to banish Exor and his followers, and they stayed dormant for years. Until Alinar and Cohnal found Exor’s cave within the mountains. He visited it regularly after that, eventually becoming corrupted.” The other listened with icy interest. Scott was looking at only the table. “The two became champions of their respective gods, and Alinar was forced to banish his brother, and everyone’s memories of the demon were wipped. A prophecy said that there would be a new champion of each god, and Exor would once again need to be defeated.” 

Fwhip knew where this was going, and so did a few of his fellow rulers by the expressions they solemnly wore. “As you can probably guess, I am the champion of Aeor, and Xornorth, my brother, sibling? Is the champion of Exor.” Scott finished, giving a tentative glance upwards, only forcing himself to look at Pix’s cold gaze and no one else's. 

“How long have you known? Since I got here?” Shrub asked quietly, arms crossed in front of her chest like a protective barrier. 

“No, I only regained my memories of Xornorth when the corruption started to pop up.” Scott couldn’t look at the gnome. Fwhip felt a wave of sympathy at that admission. He didn’t know what it would be like, to forget your sibling against your will. The count didn’t know what he could do without Gem. Lizzie seemed to share the sentiment, her eyes sparkling with the same sympathy Fwhip was feeling in his heart. 

A silence fell in the room after that. No one quite knew what to say, what else to ask Scott. How did they know he wouldn’t just lie again? What else was he withholding from them? The way to stop his brother? The only reason they knew his stag god story was even true was because of the shame etched onto his pretty eleven features. 

Jimmy's voice interrupted Fwhip’s silent brooding. “I think we’re done here.” He said, standing from his chair slowly. He sounded hurt still, and exhausted on top of it. Fwhip watched with the others as he left the meeting room, the grand door shutting behind him with a slam. He desperately wanted to chase the cod, to give him the comfort he so needed, but his legs wouldn’t move. The Count was stuck in his chair until Gem was nudging him, muttering about how they needed to go home and think this over. 

He followed his sister out of Katherine’s castle, barely managing to bid it’s owner farewell. He flew away as soon as he was out the door, letting the rushing wind around him fill his thoughts. The Count barely cared that he’d left Gem without even a glance back.

Fwhip could see Jimmy later, which was probably for the better. He had plenty of his own pent up emotions to deal with. He needed some alone time to think this over, and go back to wondering just how exactly he was going to free Sausage from his possession. 

He’d been right about the old elvish magic though, so that was a start. 

[biblicallyaccuratebeskar]

Metal Home

Read Chapter 3 Here

Also on AO3

Chapter 4/22: ~2k words

Charge

Outside the ship, two speeder bikes were waiting for us. I didn’t ask where they’d come from - I was completely out of my element and beginning to learn to simply not ask about the confusing details. Together, we rode into the Ayu. We tore across the sands, leaving dust streams in our wake. I looked over and saw the Mandalorian’s cape fluttering behind him like a wave on the ocean. The sky reflected on his beskar, sending orange and red flashes across his armor. I wasn’t in my element, but he most definitely was in his.

The setting sun washed the horizon in crimson, stars already peaking through the dusty haze. I dared lean my head back for a moment, letting the wind whip through my hair and over my chest. This was fun. I laughed, loud and hearty. The Mandalorian shook his head, and that widened my smile.

Books, when I was young, were my escape. I understood the privilege of having books even when I was very little, before I truly understood what they meant and the unspeakable danger they held. To me then, they were simply magic. I could travel to distant lands and learn of faraway peoples. I would reverently rub my fingers over the illustrations and dream of the colors as I would drift to sleep at night.

It was a luminous feeling realizing that those illustrations were nothing compared to the real thing.

The Mandalorian held up a fist, indicating for us to stop. The motors shuddered and coughed as he pulled by a sand dune and hopped off with infuriating ease.

“We’re still a klick east from the rocks, but we’ll take the rest on foot. The bikes will be too loud for stealth.” He sat down on the sand and leaned against the speeder. “We’ll wait here until dark.” The sand was surprisingly nice to sit on, still warm from the day’s sunlight. Jakku cooled significantly at night. The sky cooled with it, a blue curtain settling over the horizon smattered with a sea of stars.

Despite gathering that the Mandalorian largely had the communicative skills of a nav droid, I decided to offer conversation. “You can take your helmet off, if you want. It’s gotta be sandy in there.”

He sighed as if I’d said something ignorant. “We do not take off our helmets. It is the Way.”

The silence that permeated over us after that nearly made me shrivel. Now his defensiveness in the cockpit made sense. Ashamedly, for the first time then I was curious as to what he looked like.

“I’m sorry you lost your bounty,” I tried again (against my better judgement). “But I’m really glad you came for him when you did. My ass would’ve been cooked otherwise.”

He crossed his arms over his chest plate. More silence followed and I was sure I’d crossed a line, but then-

“Why was he keeping you captive?”

A question. I was impressed.

“He said he was going to sell me to some buyer. The guy who I stole the gun from, he had been scoping me out for weeks at the pub I work at, but he tipped, so I didn’t give him a second thought. It was stupid,” I said, shrugging.

“He was the one that brought you in?” Mando sounded doubtful, probably alluding to how I handed him his ass (if I do say so myself) the next time I saw him.

“He drugged me.”

Maybe I imagined it, but I could’ve sworn something in his demeanor twitched when I said that. I stared out into the horizon to avoid the gaze I could feel coming from inside his visor.

“Who did you leave behind there?” he asked.

I stopped myself from letting out a bitter laugh.

“No one. I’m...I was alone. My parents-“ I stopped. What was I doing? The pub had been my one constant for years and I’d never mentioned anything about my past to anyone there. Why was I telling a Mandalorian I’d just met?

“My parents were killed when I was younger. No siblings. I moved on.”

I’d never told anyone since I’d lost them. Never wanted any pity, and I wasn’t searching for it here, but I told him anyway. I stared up at the stars when I felt my eyes grow hot, trying to count the stars to distract myself from the wound it reopened.

One, two, three...

“It gets better.”

Three words. He whispers, but I hear them. I turn to look at him. He was staring up at the stars now too and something in my chest snaps. It made me realize he was human, in all its great facets of feeling and grief.

“I’m sorry you know that,” I whisper back.

After a while, he stands. “We should start walking.”

So, we walked.

——

The desert was dark at night, but the rock formation nevertheless began to materialize on the horizon.

“He’s going to see us coming, right?” We were the only things as far as the eye could see, easy targets.

Stopping in his tracks, the Mandalorian handed me a small device. “This is a flash charge. Pull the trigger there and it will make a bright light. When I say we run, we’ll run, and take turns flashing. It’ll confuse his sniper scope and maybe give us enough time to get to him.”

“Maybe?”

“If we’re lucky.”

I slipped the flash charge into the wrist of my sleeve, heart hammering.

“What’s the plan if we get to him?“

He rolled his shoulders back as he began walking towards the rocks again.

“Pin him or take him out. Stay alive.”

When the rocks grew larger he held up his fist again and crouched down. I followed suit. It was eerily quiet, only the wind brushing over the sands.

BANG!

A shot ricocheted off the Mandalorian’s chest plate.

“Run!” he grunted out.

We both started out towards the rocks, legs pumping. He lifted his armed and a flare shot out from the charge, exploding into a ball of light above us. It was so bright that for a moment it could have been day. I slipped my charge out of my sleeve and clicked, sending another burst towards the rocks.

After a few more charges we made it to the base of the formation, backs against the rocks, chests heaving. I looked over to see him motion to himself and to the right. He then pointed to me and the left. As I nodded, we set off, blasters drawn.

I tried to quiet my shaking breath as I looked around, searching for the Rodian. My blaster whipped around ever corner, every blind spot, but I saw nothing. I felt him, though. The Mandalorian’s chest plate did, too.

Two shots rang out in the night and I heard yelling.

“Mando?” I called out. I immediately regretted giving away my cover, but I ran towards the noise.

I came to a basin in the middle of the rocks. There were wrappers, clothes, and a makeshift fire pit. And on the other side of that, a bitter fight between a Rodian and a Mandalorian.

Mando had him outmatched physically, but the Rodian was quick to outmaneuver him. I came just as he had Mando in a chokehold after slipping under his arms, a knife under his helmet ready to slash.

I didn’t think. In a moment of panic I drew my blaster and shot it, and by some miracle it made its mark, right past the Mandalorian’s head and through Xila’s. He slumped to the ground.

I ran over to the Mandalorian as he got up wearily. “You ok? He didn’t get you anywhere?”

“No. But you got him.”

We both looked down at the body, the blaster hole smoking a little. My stomach turned. That was my doing.

“Why did he have a bounty on him?” I asked softly. I couldn’t undo this action, but I could at least contextualize it.

“Look at his rifle,” he responded. I looked down and my eyes widened. It was Empire, the stupid logo painted on the handle and tally marks roaming down the barrel. Something hot and sour lit up in my chest.

“Since the fall, the New Republic has been outsourcing some of their work to bounty hunters. But it goes both ways. Empire’s still using hunters too.”

I stared at the logo feeling better about my shot. Everything in my life I loved was in spite of the Empire and everything I loved they took from me anyway.

“Did you know he was Empire before you saw the rifle?” I questioned, barely hiding the rageful shake in my voice.

“Credit reward is New Republic currency, but that’s not always a dead giveaway. Only the Empire trained snipers with the range Xila was shooting at. New Republic relies on closer range combat.”

I couldn’t tear my eyes from the body. The wind whipped around us, gritty and warm.

“We should head back to the ship,” he said quietly.

——

We tied Xila’s body between the speeders, carrying him back in tandem. The Mandalorian had brought a net with him, thank the Maker.

As we approached the Crest, I saw a group surrounding the ship on speeders. The ship was the only thing in this portion of the desert besides dust and wind...whatever they were doing, it wasn’t good. As we approached they hopped off their bikes. They were waiting for us to return, and by the looks of it, they weren’t just giving us a parking violation. Covered head to toe in leather and armed, very armed, I made them out to be some sort of gang. Great.

“Oy, Mando!” One of them emerged, smiling toothily. He was some sort of reptilian species I didn’t recognize. His eyes blinked sideways.

“Heard you were in town for a stint. Figured you’d be going for Xila.” he growled, pacing in front of us. The gang was blocking our path to the hull.

His eyes traced to the bundle between the speeders and he let out a whistle. “Well, I guess you’ve done the hard work for us then. We’ll be taking him now.”

They all pulled their guns. “Hands where I can see them!” the gang leader bellowed. I looked over at Mando and he obeyed, stepping off the bike hands in the air. I stood next to him, grimacing at the leader. All the work we did, just to be ambushed by some bottom feeders. The leader smirked. “Cut him loose.”

Two members moved in with knives, one knocking into my shoulder, prompting laughs from the others. My arm fell down and I felt the flash charge shift in my sleeve. Maybe there was a way out of this.

Slipping the charge into my hand, I angled so I could just show Mando. I hoped that he would see.

I looked over to him, and to my relief, his visor faced in my hand’s direction. He nodded, so subtlety, but I knew he was in.

The two men dragged Xila’s body back to the group, and once they were grouped together-

“Now!“ he yelled.

I sent a flare towards them, a bomb of light blinding them. With lightning speed, the Mandalorian whipped out his blaster, and within seconds of shooting, the gang all laid dead.

“Holy shit,” I breathed. I could feel myself shaking.

He flicked his blaster back in the holster, dramatically striding towards the hull. I followed with about half the flair, shaking out my jitters.

With the push of a few buttons and a puff of smoke, Xila was in a block of carbonite and we were in the cockpit.

“Damn, Mando, we fucking did that,” I said smiling as I sat.

He wordlessly handed me a sack, and it clinked when I took it. It was full of credits.

“Where to?” he asked, voice emotionless.

[dishtothedeath]

Always an Angel, Never a God [MM Trial 1/3]

“Actually, they stopped submitting notes before we even got to the second challenge. Pity.”

She speaks up to correct Jun’ya.

“So Prima is right. It had to be someone who was too attached. After all, Severin made the mistake of mockingly throwing that in their face. In Recording 4, Severin says: I am aware you don’t want to die before you’re married to your current pet project. If I was in his shoes I would’ve tried harder not to threaten someone who had just gained more to lose. I hear desperate people take desperate actions. A shame they cut off the rest of The Director’s reply and only revealed that they work for a company not under HDQ Entertainment.”

Those were censored bits presented to them from earlier. It’s not like she can remember every conversation she’s ever had but it’s hard to forget a heavy slight against you. It wasn’t the first time Severin made that mistake with her. While there was nothing she could do to him physically, it wasn’t like he was immune to her own observations on him.

So Yukari sighs, sitting up straighter as she raises her hand to stop Severin before he could continue his useless chatter. She knew it was pointless to try to stop him from saying something wholly stupid so she might as well take over.

“I think we’ve already come to our conclusion so allow me to be more helpful now and ask: Who is the Director?” 

She gives a slight pause but only out of habit. Maybe some wanted her to say it herself, maybe some were still lost and trying to catch up, and maybe some just didn’t want to see the connections that were being made.

“The person you’re looking for, based on the evidence given, should be someone who works in entertainment. If you want more specifics, they’re someone who is contracted under SWEETHEARTS Entertainment but ultimately can be lent out based on the Onboarding Notes. Like Kamata and Prima said, they’re manipulative and a social engineer. I might also add that they’re a good liar or at least managed to be a consistent one. It has to be someone who feels comfortable around Skull and would describe themselves as helpful so long as they’re getting something for it. But ultimately proven to be ready and willing to betray anyone so long as it suits their needs.”

She could give all the details she wanted but that meant nothing in the end. It was better to be outright and honest, or so she’s been told.

“Allow me to properly reintroduce myself: I am Yukari Kamikita, the Director for Dish to the Death.”

As soon as she says that, the light in the room shut down, plunging everyone into a deep darkness. 

[𝅘𝅥𝅘𝅥𝅘𝅥]

Before too long, small orbs of light begin to pop up all around you. They twinkle against the dark background as they try to illuminate the space. Some move like shooting stars before fading. It’s dim but provides enough light that you can see clouds rolling beneath your chairs. A gentle warmth begins to wash over you as a soft light from the head of the table where BB would usually sit begins to rise. 

The light shines off of the cage as a pair of wings cover a figure before opening up and settling down into position. There she stands. 

Yukari takes a step off the pedestal and seems to float down to sit on the pedestal itself. It rises to keep herself almost above eye level. When she’s fully settled in there’s a moment that she takes to try to adjust things. Even if she tries to remove the crystal tears or tie up her hair or adjust her dress, it all returns to its original place. Despite its initial stability, certain parts of her appearance have glitched edges. The clouds and stars around you also seem unstable as you can see peeks of the lab from time to time. 

She mumbles something to herself before giving up on trying to fix how she appears. It’s not long before a familiar ding is heard, though easily missed. Yukari steals a glance at her tablet. 

She sits straighter.

And takes a deep breath. 

Yukari raises one hand out to the rest of you as a “stop” gesture before using her other hand to place a finger in front of her lips. She says nothing and looks up towards the ceiling. 

[sunny-sis101]

Ashes, Ashes

Notes: (I can't believe I wrote this about 5yrs ago... my cuz demanded I post it somewhere, so here we are)

Word count: 580

Genre: angst

TW: mention of character death, contains fire, and trauma… very sad!

The flames circled around me, and spread almost as rapidly as my heart was beating against my chest. I ran as fast as I could; I couldn’t see where I was going, but I knew I needed to get out. Away from the fire, away from the smoke, away from the schoolhouse. Somewhere behind me, a girl screams. Her frightened voice floods through my ears, before she fades away. Now I am coughing from the thick black smoke. It flows through my feeble body, and leaves me gasping for air. Air that I don’t have. Ahead of me, I see the outline of Julia’s cat headband amongst the crowd of other scared students. I watch in awe as the high ceiling crashes down, in pieces, landing directly on top of an outline in a cat headband. This must be one of my nightmares, it must. But there is no time to stop and pinch myself. I turn and run the other direction, hoping to find the rest of us a way out. Finally, Kimberley sees the emergency doorway, the one we’ve been searching for, the one that could have saved my dear friend Julia. We burst through the door, and see light. A comforting sort of light–that warms you up–differently than fire. 

That was 5 years ago, today. The day when I lost my best friend. Every year, when this day comes up, I can’t eat. I can’t sleep. I can’t live without thinking if Kim just found that door sooner… No, this wasn’t Kim’s fault, it was all mine. My fault my best friend is gone. My fault she never made it to her Sweet 16. My fault Julia is DEAD. I can’t help but wonder why. I just don’t understand why such a talented young person died, and not someone like me. Julia had major potential. She was very intelligent; she had a special way with animals, where she could communicate with them and understand their struggles. If it was an injured bird, she felt their pain. Sort of like how I feel her pain of the fire, whenever I hear my mother turn on the stove. She would’ve been a great veterinarian, probably the best that has ever lived. We were going to live together in a beautiful house in the country; her as a veterinarian, and me the pop star. Yeah, right. That dream was almost as realistic as the dream that one day she will come back.

4 years and 6 months of therapy to get where I am today. Frankly, I’m right where I was when I began. Ms. Nickelson thinks she is on the road to recovery, but there is no recovery to something that can’t be reversed. You can't reverse Julia’s death, so you can never make me recover either. She always says, “If Julia were here, she’d want you to move on. And I’m sure if you were dead, you’d want her to move on, too.” She says it as though she knew Julia, or she had a long casual conversation with her about it. The fact of the matter is, before Ms. Nickelson, there were 3 other therapists who told me the exact same thing. I guess it comes in the Big Therapy Manual book. I tried telling everyone that there’s no point. The person I used to be–the girl I once was? Well, she died along with Julia in that stupid fire. She’s lost in the ashes.