#we were supposed to be friends
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I randomly got dragged to Mormon church and met the illustrator for A Series of Unfortunate Events who is apparently a bishop at the church, and now we are Instagram mutuals. today was so bizarre
#dw im not converting to mormonism#the Mormon missionary that asked me to go was also a native American girl & if u know about this history between natives and mormons....uhhh#one of the priests also gave this bizarre speech about how illogical the book of mormon was and how joseph smith makes 0 sense#but he was like “but its supposed to be confusing so i still believe in this religion” ???#they were all super duper nice too but kind of in the customer service way. a mormon girl also complimented my friend's lesbian jewelry#lesbian jewlery as in it was literally two female symbols linked together#it was VERY obvious and we asked the girl why she liked it and she was like. “uhh i just like jewlery hehe!!!”
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you're grabbing lunch with a nice man and he gives you that strange grimace-smile that's popular right now; an almost sardonic "twist" of his mouth while he looks literally down on you. it looks like he practiced the move as he leans back, arms folded. he just finished reciting the details of NFTs to you and explaining Oppenheimer even though he only watched a youtube about it and hasn't actually seen it. you are at the bottom of your wine glass.
you ask the man across from you if he has siblings, desperately looking for a topic. literally anything else.
he says i don't like small talk. and then he smiles again, watching you.
a few years ago, you probably would have said you're above celebrity gossip, but honestly, you've been kind of enjoying the dumb shit of it these days. with the rest of the earth burning, there's something familiar and banal about dragging ariana grande through the mud. you think about jeanette mccurdy, who has often times gently warned the world she's not as nice as she appears. you liked i'm glad my mom died but it made you cry a lot.
he doesn't like small talk, figure out something to say.
you want to talk about responsibility, and how ariana grande is only like 6 days older than you are - which means she just turned 30 and still dresses and acts like a 13 year old, but like sexy. there's something in there about the whole thing - about insecurity, and never growing up, and being sexualized from a young age.
people have been saying that gay people are groomers. like, that's something that's come back into the public. you have even said yourself that it's just ... easier to date men sometimes. you would identify as whatever the opposite of "heteroflexible" is, but here you are again, across from a man. you like every woman, and 3 people on tv. and not this guy. but you're trying. your mother is worried about you. she thinks it's not okay you're single. and honestly this guy was better before you met, back when you were just texting.
wait, shit. are you doing the same thing as ariana grande? are you looking for male validation in order to appease some internalized promise of heteronormativity? do you conform to the idea that your happiness must result in heterosexuality? do you believe that you can resolve your internal loneliness by being accepted into the patriarchy? is there a reason dating men is easier? why are you so scared of fucking it up with women? why don't you reach out to more of them? you have a good sense of humor and a big ol' brain, you could have done a better job at online dating.
also. jesus christ. why can't you just get a drink with somebody without your internal feminism meter pinging. although - in your favor (and judgement aside) in the case of your ariana grande deposition: you have been in enough therapy you probably wouldn't date anyone who had just broken up with their wife of many years (and who has a young child). you'd be like - maybe take some personal time before you begin this journey. like, grande has been on broadway, you'd think she would have heard of the plot of hamlet.
he leans forward and taps two fingers to the table. "i'm not, like an andrew tate guy," he's saying, "but i do think partnership is about two people knowing their place. i like order."
you knew it was going to be hard. being non-straight in any particular way is like, always hard. these days you kind of like answering the question what's your sexuality? with a shrug and a smile - it's fine - is your most common response. like they asked you how your life is going and not to reveal your identity. you like not being straight. you like kissing girls. some days you know you're into men, and sometimes you're sitting across from a man, and you're thinking about the power of compulsory heterosexuality. are you into men, or are you just into the safety that comes from being seen with them? after all, everyone knows you're failing in life unless you have a husband. it almost feels like a gradebook - people see "straight married" as being "all A's", and anything else even vaguely noncompliant as being ... like you dropped out of the school system. you cannot just ignore years of that kind of conditioning, of course you like attention from men.
"so let's talk boundaries." he orders more wine for you, gesturing with one hand like he's rousing an orchestra. sir, this is a fucking chain restaurant. "I am not gonna date someone who still has male friends. also, i don't care about your little friends, i care about me. whatever stupid girls night things - those are lower priority. if i want you there, you're there."
he wasn't like this over text, right? you wouldn't have been even in the building if he was like this. you squint at him. in another version of yourself, you'd be running. you'd just get up and go. that's what happens on the internet - people get annoyed, and they just leave. you are locked in place, almost frozen. you need to go to the bathroom and text someone to call you so you have an excuse, like it's rude to just-leave. like he already kind of owns you. rudeness implies a power paradigm, though. see, even your social anxiety allows the patriarchy to get to you.
you take a sip of the new glass of wine. maybe this will be a funny story. maybe you can write about it on your blog. maybe you can meet ariana grande and ask her if she just maybe needs to take some time to sit and think about her happiness and how she measures her own success.
is this settling down? is this all that's left in your dating pool? just accepting that someone will eventually love you, and you have to stop being picky about who "makes" you a wife?
you look down to your hand, clutching the knife.
#writeblr#this is a mashup of like 3 dates i accidentally went on lol#by that i mean that i was out with a woman on a date in 2 of these situations#and a man just. joined us. and we were too awkward to say anything while he tried to ''date'' me#& one was a longterm friend that i was like. you what????#like he's nice he's a doctor and my mom was SO happy she was like raquel think about it#''it's a perfect love story you grew up together and reconnected as adults and like the same things and he's friends with ur brother#and his sister is one of ur close friends!!!''#yes but alas. he is a boy . she only likes girls. can i make it any more obvious#anyway im tryna write about like the force of male attention being actually incredibly ingrained to women like we are SUPPOSED to like it#it's seen as the only important thing#even if ur gay#and it's a nuanced thing idk#and while rn i i.d. as lesbian#like .... it wouldn't be UNTRUE to say i am probably like ''cusp bisexual'' bc i CAN experience attraction to men bc like .#sexuality is fluid...#don't tell straight ppl tho bc they do not understand the concept that ppl don't necessarily need a solid everlasting label#they're like GET in the BOX#if ur gay & in boston i'm 30 and pretty please come kiss me.#(i usually only date older ppl sorry in advance tho)
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The idea that uni protesters are "elitist ivy-league rich kids larping as revolutionaries" on Twitter and Reddit and even here is so fucking funny to me if you actually know anything about the student bodies at these unis. Take it from someone who's going to one of the biggest private unis in the US, 80% of the peers I know are either from the suburbs or an apartment somewhere in America, children of immigrants, or here on a student visa. I've heard about one-percenter students, but I've never met one in person. Like, don't get me wrong, the institution as a whole is still very privileged and white. I've talked with friends and classmates about feeling weird or dissonant being here and coming from such a different background. But in my art program, I see BIPOC, disabled, queer, lower-income students and faculty trying to deconstruct and tear that down and make space every day. So to take a cursory glance at a crowd of student protesters in coalitions that are led by BIPOC & 1st/2nd-gen immigrant students and HQ'd in ethnic housings and student organizations and say, "ah. children of the elite." Get real.
#also idk how to tell you this but even if it were true. wealthy children potentially sacrificing their educational careers to protest is#a good thing actually. idk how to tell you that caring about people from other nations is good#personal#“this war has nothing to do with most students cuz nobody's getting drafted” idk how to explain to you that we should be angry#that our tuitions of 10s of thousands of dollars that we pay every year for an education is being used to fund a genocidal campaign#also the implication that if you go to a uni institution you are automatically privileged by participation no matter your bg#i didn't /want/ to go to this school. i was supposed to go to a school with an art/animation program. but i realized my immigrant#parents have been working their whole lives to get me here. and turning the opportunity down would be a disservice to their sacrifice#this is getting into convos of “what 2nd gen kids owe their parents” which is different for everyone but. yeah#i just get pissed off at seeing people misrepresenting student bodies as “wealthy” and “privileged” and “elite” when it's such a blatant li#i remember a year ago a friend told me they can't fly home to hong kong for winter break because the plane tickets are too expensive#so they have to find temporary housing around the area#last quarter for a film doc class my film partner made a doc on a small group of marxist grad students from india discussing praxis#during a rally a few months ago in response to police presence the coalition invited palestinian students to speak about their experiences#and lead songs and read poems they wrote. these are STUDENTS. are they elitist too?#this is not to disregard my own personal privilege either.#this whole narrative's just to rationalize a lack of empathy to me. seeing a 19yo student get shot by a rubber bullet and your first#reaction is “HAW! HAW! bet richy rich didn't see THAT coming when she put on her terrorist hood!”#newsflash. these big uni campuses are HAUNTED by the violence of past protests and revolutions and police brutality. we know.#why do you think these coalitions have been making reinforced barricades at record speed
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Hey, different post than usual, but this is just a PSA for people who may follow or have purchased anything from @/kagebros, or are looking to join any of the zines run by them @/allsparkzines. They have a history (and present) of tracing for profit.
I don’t think this one requires an overlay. It’s a trace of the yolopark bumblebee shockwave model kit promotional image, as a “sketch”.
Which they changed, once people noticed it! Changed most of it. They traced a different promotional image for the gun, which remained largely the same, even in the final piece (right).
Their matching Optimus Prime poster is a trace of the still from a [ Paramount promo video ], 36 seconds in.
There are several other examples that I can’t fit into this post without making it overly long, but if you have purchased or have been gifted anything from them, there is a chance it has been traced.
Regarding tracing as a tool:
Go hogwild! Trace all you want! Tracing is a very useful tool for learning shapes and forms, but like any other tool, it’s only useful if you use it correctly. The ultimate goal of tracing is to understand. It’s training wheels. Just don’t hide and lie about it, because as soon as you do, it becomes plagiarism.
Even within the finished versions of the Shockwave poster, it’s still clear where parts have been traced or copied without understanding. It’s a shame, because transformers as a franchise having so many toys makes it very easy to make references!
Here's an example of how I use them:
Luckily for me, the Cybertron toys and models are more or less exactly the same. I don't own the toys, so I have two images from a [ toy reviewer ] on top. Many angles to help me understand exactly what's happening. Granted, I could just ask my friend who does own the toy for him in the same pose, but tracing over that directly would make it too stiff and it wouldn't mesh with my style.
TL;DR: Kage traces, blindly and without disclosure, for profit.
#kagebros#not art#uh idk what to tag this#but watch out?#I'm sure plenty of their pieces aren't traced but really selling two posters with traced art as the centerpiece is a little... hm..#so sue me for being wary ig#take this as you will#edit: remember when I just thought it was two posters. better times#IGNORE HOW WIDE THE REF IMAGES ARE my friends and i were watching the 1080p upscale but for some reason the uploader fuckin#stretched the video out to fit the new aspect ratio instead of keepin it the og#but we didn't know? and didn't notice? until like. we were almost done#and then my friend was like hey guys uh they're not supposed to be this wide actually#uhhhh well thanks for reading if anyone read this to the end!#it's very disheartening to see ppl trace shit and then table with it like... what the hell am i doing then#edit: i also think my friend's cybertron optimus is buried under 50 boxes and askin him to move that much for a toy is a lil embarrassing#tfcon#tfcon baltimore
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he doesn't have the heart to take em off
#akito shinonome#shinonome akito#project sekai#prsk#do i tag everyone here?? maybe??? ok here we go#kohane azusawa#azusawa kohane#toya aoyagi#aoyagi toya#an shiraishi#shiraishi an#MEIKO#vivid bad squad#based of a comment my friend made while we were talking abt akito#this was SUPPOSED to be my toya manifesto as a ritual to get his birthday card(s) but i caved in. sorry
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I'm completely obsessed with this new tote bag I got for Christmas
#technically it was not even supposed to be a christmas gift#my best friend went to London this summer and got me this but we didn't had an occasion to see each others before#because being an adult is rough sometimes lol#but yeah i love this things so much#tho i do take offense in them including stephen and not matilda#not even because i think mathilda was the 'rightful heir and queen' or whatever#but because i actually believe that neither of them managed to truly secure the throne for themselves#(stephen got closer but i don't think it's accurate to say he fully succeeded)#so you either put both or neither#plus having them face each others as if they were about to fight would have been a cool design#but i still love it so..
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what kind of frivolity would you engage in, mecha?
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#mecha sonic#scrapnik mecha sonic#scrapnik island#sonic fanart#sonic fandom#arting#msab#good MORNING. i have given myself many emotions about mecha's big stupid cape. like a fool. such is the way i suppose#god ive been dying to get to this one. do you get it. do you understand#victories; if not on your own terms. achievements; if not the ones you thought you wanted. childhood dreams that never die.#which on that note yeah this is also my favorite one for showing eggman-era mecha as like#''yeah hes hes the most arrogant and murderous jackass on the planet but hes also like 17.''#& therefore kind of a lame little nerd by default. he thinks capes are sooooooo coool#we were all stupid kids once but sometimes u get older and u still wanna paint your house purple. and sometimes u still want a cool cape#it occurs to me that actual 17-year-olds may see this and to that i say: sorry. you guys are fine do ya thang.#its just that im 29 and have grey hair and shit so i have a certain Perspective on being 17 is all. & scrapnik mecha is like mid-30's to me#i knoooowwww he loves his big stupid cape so much. look at the refsheets with his dumbass spines poking holes through the the hood#tell me he has not made a COMMITMENT to wearing that hood despite being built in a way that makes that incredibly inconvenient#u look at nathalie fourdraine's christmas scrapniks post and tell me he isnt having so much fun#being all decorated and swishing around in that Even Bigger And Stupider Cape & shawl w/ his friends#hes so funny for that he's generally such a serious kinda character but on god he does also love some showmanship and flashiness.#i want to make it clear btw i also think capes are awesome i literally cosplay a guy with Two [2] capes.#& mecha is basically the coolest ever. but also hes still funny for that
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sometimes you're reading a slow burn wolfstar fic and you become James in just lovers, thinking over and over again just shag, just shag, just fucking shag already
#just lovers (like we were supposed to be)#wolfstar#slow burn#friends to lovers#or more like#idiots to lovers#wolfstar fic#james potter wolfstar shipper#sirius black#remus lupin#james potter#marauders#marauders era#dead gay wizards
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she's the door, she can't be the room
L'Amica Geniale - Elena Ferrante | Holly Warburton | Stephanie Says - The Velvet Underground | Winter Lady - Leonard Cohen | x | Suzanne Siegel
#l'amica geniale#my brilliant friend#elena ferrante#lila cerullo#enzo scanno#elena greco#lila x enzo#yes elena is always warm in these on purpose too. this post is how my brain works#art 🎃💋💫#lila cerullo 🫀#otp: diagram of the door opening#mine 🧫#wow. i actually lived to see the day my amyp x steph posts would get a positive spin. this is supposed to feel good and YET#this is a sister post to that kindled her; she lighted up <3 ily lila cerullo blue/orange dichotomy from my head#LILA AND ENZO WERE BOTH CRAZYYYYYYY!!! godbless...#the bedroom scene was hell to color tho i realize it's kind of the point and it's supposed to be private#and we aren't supposed to be allowed to see all that or understand it but STILL.#then again i do not want to see them it's too much.#god gave me chronic low pressure because he knew my perpetual enthusiasm and restlessness will make it normal#ferranteposting
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i miss zar's reggie, he's just another level of unhinged
#the marauders#regulus black#jegulus#marauders era#zeppazariel#crimson rivers#james x regulus#mayzarbewithyou#mayzarbewithyoucrimsonrivers#bizzarestars#just lovers (like we were supposed to be)#just lovers#best friends brother#bfb#bfb fic#regulus arcturus black
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FUCK THIS EASTER EGG IN PARTICULAR THAT WAS FUCKING HORRIFYING. YOU PULLED SOME ANALOG HORROR SHIT ON ME. YOU PULLED A DDLC ON ME YOU BITCH
#FRIENDS PLAYING IT. APPARENTLY WE WERE NOT#SUPPOSED TO GET IT THE SECOND WE CLICKED ON BONNIE.#WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK FUCK THAT IM GONNA HAVE NIGHTMARES#IM GONNA CRY#I GENUINELY GOT MY ANXIETY HEIGHTENED THAT WAS AN ACTUAL JUMPSCARE HOLY FFUUUCCCKKKK#GOD DAMN#fox·borks#isat spoilers#in stars and time#in stars and time spoilers#isat
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okay ill bite why do u hate kaoru sakuraba sidem aside from the fact that they went from hokuto as a main blue to downgrade to kaoru. to make it less awkward that I’m asking abt sidem on ur osomatsu side blog, what sidem idols would u assign to each matsu ?
i think sideM should collab w osomatsu-san and put them all in Beit so they can all get JOBS!!!!!!
anyways i hate kaoru from idolmaster sideM. i need all my osomatsu-san side blog followers to know that i hate this man. "i need a lot of money fast to pursue an extremely niche medical research track, which is why i quit my stable and high paying job as a surgeon to become an idol while having no soft skills, physical strength or stamina, or interest in getting along with people" are you Stupid??
he's not even using his idol clout to spread awareness of the rare disease he's trying to cure (like SEM does) so it can secure funding, he sees it 100% as a job and refuses to have fun, he is actively unpleasant and uncooperative in every interaction with his coworkers because he's trying to "rise to the top". it seems like the only thing he has going for him are his looks and that he kind of liked to sing when he was a kid. why not become a model at that point when you have the personality of a wet tree trunk. or better yet why not STAY A FUCKING DOCTOR!!!!!
also, i don't like meganes, so write that down.
#context for oomfiematsus: idolmaster sideM's gimmick is that all the idols were other things before becoming idols#Beit is the unit whose gimmick is that all their members have part time jobs (baito)#others are like. lawyer -> idol; pilot -> idol; pianist -> idol; rakugoka -> idol; etc#finding out the backstories/previous lives of these idols is like the main appeal of this branch#a lot of times it's like trauma and stuff that causes them to switch careers. like there's a pair of twins who were former soccer pros#but one suffers a career-ending injury and it's sad. and theyre like well we were pretty good at PR and stuff though so let's be idols#(the other twin follows him because yknow twinsies <3 cant be apart)#and this guy is in the main unit so you meet him and he's just a fucking dick the whole time and he just seems to fucking hate being an ido#so the whole time youre like what's this guy's deal#(note i experienced this through the anime cuz all the games are EOS lol)#and then like 3/4ths into the anime in you finally get his backstory#and it's that his sister died of a very rare disease so he needs money to fund research to find the cure but no one will fund it#but instead of staying a doctor he decides the best way to do this is to BECOME AN IDOL?!!!?!?#like sure i bet the top idols do make more than an average surgeon? but it's like do you want a .01% chance to make a $2 million salary#or an 100% chance to make a $300k salary BECAUSE YOURE ALREADY A SURGEON!!!!#and it'd be another thing if he was like. kinda having fun with it. kinda being jovial#like there's literally another guy in the teacher unit who became an idol for the exact same reason (heard it was lucrative)#but then after he finds out being an idol actually isnt all that much cash#so he just decides to have fun being an idol instead!!!!#this guy NEVER GETS THERE. he's always a SERIOUS RUDE STICK IN THE MUD who is NEVER FUN TO BE AROUND BECAUSE HE'S LIKE#I'm Here For Work. I'm Here To Be The Best Idol. I Don't Want To Make Friends#LIKE GET REEEEEEEEEEEEEEAL DUDE YOUR COWORKERS ARE 10 YEAR OLDS IN ANIMAL COSTUMES AND 30 YEAR OLD MEN IN PINK TIGHTS.#anyways everyone likes him i guess he's supposed to be the “cold guy eventually opens his heart” kind of guy but he has always just come of#as very annoying to me. and also DUMB AS FUCK i cannot stress enough how STUPID OF A CAREER CHOICE THIS WAS#so i cant take him seriously when they try to play him up as this cool all-knowing guy when he's the STUPIDEST PERSON AT THIS COMPANY#INCLUDING THE 9 YEAR OLDS
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goddd the trope of “we could always rely on each other and you were the person i trusted most in the world but then you chose someone else over me and our relationship has never been the same” always hits me so hard, but ESPECIALLY when there are queer undertones to relationship one but then heteronormativity wins out. like god it’s such a sucker punch. so many queer people have experienced that really close same sex relationship where you thought you were going to be with that person together, even if you didn’t even realize it was romantic at the time, but then they became interested in the opposite sex and everything changed.
#this is NOT an attack on bisexuality btw#bi people in m/f relationships are valid and please bring your straight bfs to pride and educate them#this goes for straight gfs as well but well. the debate wasn’t about them#anyway i hope my fifth grade best friend is doing well in her sorority#we were supposed to get married to a pair of best friends and buy houses next to each other and raise our kids as bffs#sometimes things don’t go according to plan#the two ships that inspired this post are insane actually dw about it#colindeli#shory#dimension 20#d20#the ravening war#colin provolone#thane delissandro katzon#deli katzon#come on provolone#cory matthews#shawn hunter#boy meets world#bmw#gmw#girl meets world#rilaya#also works#riley matthews#maya hart#writing#queer#gay#lesbian
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hey guys . heres my fair share of doodles from the magma i drew on with my big bro @chamom1le-t3a
#the first one was supposed to be jfk mean steve ; i named him john f stevedy#all my shrig drawings go exceptionally hard im srs#bombardier and bitter choco decoration lookin ass fly#oh yeah and i need to give context for the last four because holy shit theyre wild#for the penultimate fourth one . that was based on a book editor recounting a horrific experience with a vampyre romance book they checked#where the girl protag was so fucking pure and christian that the vampyre guy couldn't put his hands on her without burning his skin#and when they were shagging . he put his hands on her breasts and the whole situation was described as her having “crucifix nipples”#and the last three were based on two tony x reader smut fanfics that were written in dedication for the author's friend . Isabella#we were literally on call and i had to read them aloud . it was the funniest and also most painful thing i ever had to do#i hope the next time we call ill do it again <33#okay stay safe and drink water okay bye-bye#dhmis#dhmis art#dhmis au#dhmis shrignold#shrignold the butterfly#dhmis hv shrignold#dhmis sketchbook#dhmis hv sketchbook#dhmis tony#tony the talking clock#dhmis hv tony#dhmis colin#colin the computer#dhmis hv colin#dhmis digital time#digitaltime#dhmis mean steve#mean steve#oh yeah and itft clock is here too i guess
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#pic#story#Checking Courage#The Royal Pibling’s Plight#the queen has arrived#Urbosa is a little harder to write than the other champions#I talked a little about it with friends#She's supposed to be the 'mom friend' of the champions#but we're not just dealing with the champions here#and with this story Twilight is the more established mom friend#I also personally feel like Urbosa's character in botw was... eh.#Like I have no problem with a mom friend in a group but Urbosa could've been done better yk?#All of the supporting characters in botw/totk were kinda one-note but#there was something interesting about revali mipha and daruk that complimented the original personality#Like with Revali he's a haughty pretentious asshole but he also gets a lot of that ego from wanting others to see his feats#Mipha's shy and sweet but she doesn't just love Link she loves everyone and wants to protect everyone#DARUK IS DARUK!#But with Urbosa her entire personality... surrounded Zelda in some way#I think I feel this way because every time we saw Urbosa in the past she was with Zelda#her conversation with Link was centered around Zelda#So I want to get into her relationship with Link#and maybe see what I can work with because Fujibayashi and his writers like to annoy ME specifically GA 21 year old tumblr user
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I just finished Art Heist, Baby! and am not. doing. good. so I need help deciding what fic to read next!!(I am not mentally stable)
ty!!!<3
#choices#crimson rivers#just lovers#just lovers(like we were supposed to be)#only the brave#best friend's brother#kill your darlings#whatever happened to the young young lovers?#the cadence of part time poets#marauders#marauders era#the marauders#harry potter#fanfiction#fanfic recs#ao3#james potter#regulus black#jegulus#remus lupin#sirius black#wolfstar#putting so many tags so people actually see this
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