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whumperstorm · 29 days ago

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Suppressing Fire - Part 4

Content: Vampire whumper, defiant whumpee, mind control, death threats, loneliness, angst

This one is twice as long as the others lol

First/Previous/Next

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

For the first two years, things remain generally the same. The hostility and abuse intertwined with the mundane of everyday life. For Kane, it's all leading up to something. Something big. And as it approaches, closer and closer, he begins to worry he's not ready. His human isn't ready. She's calmed down a bit compared to when he first got her, but she's still defiant. He still disciplines her with frequency. This is bad.

After hemming and hawing over what to do, he enters the human quarters. Before even feeding, he brings attention to the matter at hand.

"I'm laying my cards on the table. I need something from you."

-----

Keegan has gotten far too comfortable with her imprisonment over the past two years. She knows she has, but there's not much she can do about it. There's a few small opportunities over time where she thinks she might be able to escape, but then she remembers how miserable those two months of recovery with her ribs were, and she lets it go. Too risky. She needs something big.

So she copes. She fights back when she's feeling brave, then nurses the bruises she's given for the trouble. She takes out her anger on the poor abused punching bag and tries not to think about the outside world. Stay in the present. Survive each day and keep your head clear. It'll be worth it.

Still, she can't help but perk up when Kane makes a change to their usual schedule. He needs something and he's not just demanding it? She's curious now.

"Yeah?" She asks.

“There’s this… family reunion next week. Well, not just my family. It’s for all of the important families. Mine’s the most important, of course.” His face lights up with condescending pride for a moment before falling back into nerves. “We’re going, and I need you to behave. What's it going to take?"

That's a lot to take in. A family reunion for a bunch of rich vampires?

On one hand, Keegan is almost excited at the thought, even though she'd only be going as an accessory. She's always wanted to go to a fancy party. On the other hand, she hasn't been out of the house since the doctor visit, and just that short time was terrifying.

"What... exactly would I be doing at this event?"

"Oh, not much. Everyone brings their humans as a sign of status. So this- this is the first time I'll be going." Kane wrings his hands anxiously. "All the others will be under persuasion, obviously. All you'll need to do is follow me around, largely silently, and follow orders if given. It will be very easy."

Honestly, it doesn't sound too bad to Keegan. It'd be the first time a vampire hunter has ever observed vampire high society and (hopefully) lived to tell about it. But, it's clear Kane is anxious as hell about this, and willing to offer her something in return. She's not about to miss this chance. She bites her lip, thinking.

What does she want? She'd really like her stove back, microwave meals got old a long time ago, and she misses cooking. Or maybe some time outside? She's been breathing stale air for years. But no, there's something else. Something she needs, and this might be her only chance.

She straightens up, crosses her arms, and looks Kane dead in the eye. "Let me call my sister, and you've got a deal."

"Deal," Kane agrees instantly. "You may make one phone call, supervised, if you behave. That means you will act like a proper human in public. You will not stray. You will obey my orders. You will not speak unless spoken to. You will address me as Master or sir. You will show no signs of defiance or misbehavior. Are we clear?"

Keegan's heart leaps. He's actually agreeing to it? She grimaces at all the ways she has to submit to him, but it's basically meaningless in exchange for that phone call.

"Yes!" She says immediately. Maybe too excitedly, she doesn't want him getting used to this easy compliance, but she can't help it.

"Good." Kane tries to reign in his own excitement, maintain his dignity. His human behaving herself should be the standard, not something to get out of sorts about.

He has to be serious.

“Just know,” he adds, “that if you defy me publicly, I’ll kill you on the spot. I’ll have to, of course, for my reputation.”

"Of course."

The threat gives Keegan pause, not because she plans on being defiant, but because she's not very good at it. She tends to fuck up even when she doesn't mean to.

‘Just focus on the prize, Keegan.’

"Perfect." This might actually work. Kane might actually be presentable. "Now, your neck. I'm hungry."

---

The week passes in a blur. Kane has the human pick out a nice, classy dress from a catalog- he's never had an eye for women's fashion, and he supposes that at least one advantage of having a human with a mind of her own is she can make that decision for him.

On the night of the reunion, he's an utter nervous wreck. He chooses to drive, not wanting to mess his clothes up running and considering it more comfortable for both himself and the human.

"This has to go perfectly," he mutters, half to himself, half to the human in the passenger seat. "No funny business."

"I got it." Keegan insists for what feels like the millionth time.

She's got no idea what's making Kane so nervous, he's cagey about anything relating to his family. It’s making her nervous about what's in store. But, it's a reunion. A party. Whatever has got him rattled is probably some sort of petty drama. Keegan shouldn't panic. She'll follow directions, stay out of the way, and hope for the best. And, hey, the dress is nice.

They arrive just slightly early, exactly as planned. As they enter the decadent ballroom, Kane scans for his parents, but neither seems to have arrived yet. There are lots of other vampires here, though he knows many are still to come. He recognizes several members of his family and of other noble families, but no one he's close to. Each vampire has a perfectly hypnotized human beside them, and it only makes him more self-conscious.

Worse, he gets looks and whispers. He tries to fight the blush that he knows is creeping up his face as he looks around for anyone at all who he knows well enough to chat with.

Unfortunately, just as he's contemplating going to speak with his older sister, Eloise, despite her quite low opinion of him, a far less-palatable sibling approaches him first.

“Kane! What a surprise, I wouldn’t have expected to see you here in a million years!” Anton greets with his human in tow. He grins widely from ear to ear, fangs on display.

-----

Keegan can practically smell the old money of this place. Everyone here has an aura of importance and snobbery, only worsened by their predatory, vampiric eyes. All her fellow humans are dressed up like she is, but unlike her, have all been lost to persuasion. They couldn't have chosen their outfit from a catalog like she did. They're dressed up by their masters like dolls. Trophies.

Objects.

‘Why do they even bother?’ She thinks. ‘We're all just 'food' after all.’

It's awful. Keegan can't watch for long and looks down at her feet, shuffling after her own 'master'. She's so very grateful to have her mind intact, and since they can't feel for themselves, she'll endure their suffering for them. They deserve to be remembered and mourned.

A new voice breaks Keegan out of her thoughts. Kane's older brother, apparently. Keegan's hackles raise immediately when he starts talking. This guy is no good, it's written all over his face. Another very punch-able one, in her opinion. Maybe it runs in the family. Kane though, seems just as uncomfortable as she is and she hopes he'll cut this conversation short.

-----

“Hello, Anton.” Kane says through gritted teeth. “Yes, as you can see, I have a human now. No reason for me not to be here anymore, is there?”

“Yeah, I heard! Only took you a century!” Anton laughs. “I gotta admit, you’ve done well for once in your life, baby brother.” He claps Kane on the back, laughing again.

Kane is not pleased. “Well, no one gives a shit what you think.”

“Oh, don’t be like that, it was a compliment! You’re so sensitive. I mean it! Wrangling a human when you can’t use persuasion at all, it’s very impressive stuff! In fact, the result might be even better. This one’s been hypnotized so much that she hardly reacts even when uninfluenced.” He waved a hand in front of his own human’s face to no response.

Anton turns his gaze directly onto Keegan, eyeing her discomfort hungrily. “See, just like that. I like to see the emotion in their eyes. It’s so boring otherwise.” He leans in close enough for Keegan to smell his shitty cologne. “Having a good time, little lady?”

Keegan's hand twitches at her side, just barely keeping still. He is way too close. She leans as far away as she thinks she can get away with, face full of disgust. What the fuck. If this creep is related to Kane, what is the rest of his family like?? She hopes he can see the murderous intent in her eyes, in lieu of being able to act on them. ‘I'm not afraid of you, leech.’

She might be a little afraid.

Anton loses a bit of interest at her non-response, but the idea has sparked something as he turns back to Kane. “Maybe I’ll try training my next one without persuasion. I mean, it can’t be that hard if you could do it, right?”

Kane rolls his eyes, nudging his human away from Anton. “Thank you so much for that, Anton. Goodbye.”

“Aw, stop, stop, I’m half-kidding. Seriously, great pick. She smells delicious. I’ve just got to have a little taste. You don’t mind, do you?”

Anton takes a step straight toward Keegan and reaches for her neck.

Keegan's heart spikes with fear. She does not want this man touching her. Her hand itches for a stake she hasn't touched in years. Anton is clearly the bully type, and in this case she's the toy he's trying to steal from his victim. He could break her like a twig just to get at Kane. Luckily, Kane steps in and keeps him away, grabbing his wrist and continuing the conversation like her life didn't just flash before her eyes.

“I do mind, actually. If your human’s blood is of such lower quality than mine, I’m sure you can find a suitable replacement on your own, since you’re just so capable.”

Anton rips his hand from Kane’s grasp, the smile never leaving his face. “Of course, makes perfect sense that you’re so possessive of your very first human! Oh, I remember those days. Well, good luck, I can’t wait to see what Mother and Father think.” He smirks before sauntering off.

“Can you believe that guy?” Kane grumbles with a huff.

Keegan relaxes significantly when Anton leaves. "He was... something." Keegan says quietly. Oh, she has opinions alright but doesn't dare speak them outloud, even if Kane might actually share them. She glances around the room, seeing other vampires sharing their humans. It makes her feel ill. "Sir, are... others going to feed from me tonight?" Kane didn't let his brother, but it's clear they aren't friends. No one mentioned she was going to be a party snack.

"No. No one I would say yes to would be tactless enough to ask in the first place." It's an easy answer, one he doesn't have to even consider. The idea of Mother or Father asking to feed from his human is laughable.

Keegan sighs in relief. "OK. Thanks." She's sure it's not for her sake, but still. She's glad for it.

-----

After the encounter with Anton, Kane is too intimidated to try approaching his other older siblings who he's even less close with. He eyes the entrance as people come in, sticking anxiously to the wall, when he finally sees someone he knows well. Unfortunately.

Bellamy comes waltzing in, a human at his side, arm linked with his- and like Kane's own, obviously unpersuaded. “What is he doing here?” he mutters to himself, alarmed.

The entrance garners more gossipy whispers than his own, and that's when he realizes this could be good. “Wait. Wait, this is great, actually. He could take the heat off me.”

That is, until Bellamy locks eyes with him for the first time in decades, and Kane realizes he's screwed. He tries to take off, beckoning his human to follow behind him, but Bellamy catches up easily.

“Kane, my dear, it has simply been too long!” His voice is sing-songy and light.

“Fuck off, I can’t be seen with you! Why are you even here?” Kane hisses.

The woman at Bellamy's side looks to be in her thirties, and perfectly content to be here, despite full awareness of the situation. She waves at Keegan with a warm smile.

Keegan is happy to hide at the edges of the party. Avoiding any more conversation would make the night easier to get through. But of course it doesn't last long, when a vampire and his lucid human make a beeline towards them.

The human lady waves at her. Keegan stares dumbfounded for a moment before sending a small one back. She has so many questions. God does it feel good to look into another human's eyes. She looks kind. Too kind to be in this hellhole.

Bellamy looks genuinely hurt by Kane’s words, his eyebrows knotting together briefly before he regains his composure. “Oh, politics. Some people are hard to get a hold of, and this made for a fantastic opportunity. Though I was unaware you’d number among them tonight! Shall we meet in private, darling? We absolutely must catch up.”

Kane taps his foot, agitated. “Fine, just get away from me before people start thinking we’re together.”

The man winks. “Follow me in five.”

He and the woman disappear down one of the connecting hallways.

Having no one else to gossip to, Kane turns to Keegan. “That guy? He had his entire life handed to him on a golden platter. Cast away everything by refusing to take a human when he came of age. No one who’s anyone would be caught dead associating with him anymore. He was the eldest son in the most important family next to mine and now he’s an even bigger laughing stock than me! Ugh, of course he won’t even use persuasion on the human that he now apparently has. Has to fucking flaunt it. Can’t believe he’s showing his face here.”

Keegan can't tell if he's actually expecting an answer from her. She opens and closes her mouth a few times before settling on, "She didn't seem like she needed it, sir." What's so special about this vampire that his human is perfectly content by his side? Keegan envies her.

"Well, lucky fucking him." Kane responds.

-----

After a short while has passed, Kane follows down the same path the other pair had taken minutes ago. He weaves through corridors before they arrive at the storage room he and Bellamy would always hide out in when they were boys, boxes piled high around the two waiting for them.

As soon as they enter, Bellamy moves toward Kane with arms outstretched, obviously going in for a hug. Kane holds out a hand to stop him. “Cut that shit out. Why am I here?”

“Well, it’s been so long!” Bellamy exclaims. “It’s been, what, eighty-five years? Do you have a telephone, my dear? Marvelous things, humans do simply come up with the most amazing inventions. We should exchange numbers, keep in better touch!”

“Did you somehow forget what happened the last time we spoke?” Kane eyes the woman. “Why do you have a human? Finally come to your senses?”

“Oh of course, where are my manners?” He turned to Keegan. “My name is Bellamy Verta,” He gives a little bow, “and this beautiful young lady is Caroline.” He gestures to his companion with an extravagant flourish.

“It’s nice to meet you both.” she says.

“And who might you be, young lady?” Bellamy asks Keegan.

In stark contrast to the last vampire they spoke to, this ‘Bellamy’ almost immediately puts Keegan at ease. First of all, he calls his human by her name, Caroline. Keegan has never heard her name come out of Kane's mouth. Second, he's speaking directly to her. Not at her, or ignoring her completely.

"Keegan." She responds. Then with a quick glance at Kane, reluctantly adds, "...Sir."

"It's lovely to meet you, Keegan." Bellamy reaches out and shakes her hand, his grip soft and warm in mannerism, even if his hands themselves are a bit cold. "I do hope you're not finding this party completely dreadful."

Bellamy turns back to Kane. “As for your question, Caroline and I have a mutually beneficial relationship. She is no prisoner of mine, and is free to come and go as she pleases. She was kind enough to accompany me to this event, given the stringent requirements for entry. Thank you once again for this, darling.”

“It’s no trouble at all.” Caroline smiles.

Caroline is free? She's free, and she chose to be here. Surrounded by murderous vampires and their dead-eyed humans. Suddenly, Keegan decides she hates her. She's been forced into this hell against her will and here's another woman having a perfectly good time with the first vampire Keegan has ever seen that doesn't want to use persuasion. Why does she get to have it easy? She can't quite mask her disbelieving glare.

Well, maybe Bellamy could help? If... if this reunion goes smoothly at least. He and Kane have history, though they clearly didn't part on good terms. She wants to speak to him more but Kane is right there. His threat hangs over her head. Don't speak unless spoken to. So she stands there silently simmering in frustration.

It's obvious Keegan wants to speak. “Do whatever you want, there’s no one here I need to impress," Kane instructs.

“Perhaps you and Caroline can have a chat?" Bellamy suggests. "Dear Kane and I do have so much to catch up on, some of which are rather private matters.” He motions Kane to follow him to the other side of the room.

“Whatever.” Kane gives an exasperated sigh and walks along with him.

Caroline looks after Kane wryly. "Oh, he seems charming," she says, sarcasm dripping from her voice.

"Very." Keegan mutters.

She doesn't want to be a complete dick to this stranger, but she has to ask. As soon as the two vampires are conversing, she hisses, "How can you stand it? Being around all... This. Being around him. He's one of them!" Sure he's polite, but he's still a vampire. What if it's all for show?

Caroline smiles at her, pity in her eyes. "Bellamy is the kindest person I've ever met, human or vampire. In fact, in my experience, humans have been the more dreadful bunch." She gestures back toward the ballroom. "Most vampires aren't like this, you know. The stuck-up noble types. They're just regular people. Most haven't even interacted with a human in their lives, let alone hurt one."

That somehow makes Keegan feel worse. She really got the short end of the stick, then. ‘Don't fucking pity me when you won the vampire lottery’ She thinks sourly.

"I don't care!" She growls. "They're predators. They've ruined my life." She turns and kicks a nearby box hard enough that her foot stings. "Why do you get to be free?" She whispers.

The smile disappears. "I'm sorry, hun. But... Kane ruined your life. Bellamy wouldn't hurt a fly. Literally. When there's a bug in the house, I've gotta be the one to take care of it 'cause he's afraid of creepy-crawlies. Vampires aren't a monolith as much as humans aren't. Bellamy saved my life." Though sometimes, she finds herself falling into the trap of thinking of all of humanity as unsalvageable.

"I'm sorry things have turned out so horribly for you. I hope it gets better," she says sincerely.

Keegan wants to shout, to scream. Maybe this would be easier if she was chained up in a basement somewhere, so freedom wouldn't be standing just out of reach and mocking her. But Caroline is being so patient and kind. She has nothing to do with Keegan's suffering.

She deflates. "I'm sorry. I just- Seeing you here, happy..." she gestures vaguely. "It's a lot." Her lip wobbles. "You're the first human I've spoken to in over two years." The first person really, other than Kane.

"You're the first human I've spoken to in over a decade," Caroline admits. She steps forward, her heart aching for Keegan. "You look like you could use a hug. You want one?"

Keegan starts to cry. "...Please." She hasn't felt a kind touch in just as long. Only pain and harsh manhandling. "I wanna go home..." she mumbles, barely audible. It's pathetic, but she's so lonely, and Caroline is someone who will actually listen.

Caroline wraps her up in a warm embrace. "I'm sorry," she says softly. "I know everything's awful right now. Just hang in there. You never know where life will take you. Take it one day at a time."

Keegan cries into Caroline's shoulder, tightly gripping the fabric of her shirt. It feels good to be held. She doesn't want it to end.

"I'm t-trying." She sobs. "Thank you."

Caroline keeps holding her, as long as she needs, gently rubbing her back. She figures Keegan needs this.

-----

“I can’t believe, after everything you’ve been through, that you would just… subjugate someone like this! Look at her, she has bruises on her arm!” Bellamy gestures pointedly at Keegan. "It's awful!"

Caroline lets go of Keegan, turning to watch the argument. She places herself protectively between Keegan and Kane.

“She wouldn't have bruises if she fucking behaved!” Kane retorts. “I don’t know why you suddenly insist on acting like I’m lesser than the rest of my family when you were always the one to tell me I wasn’t. I’m a De Sang, this is what we do.”

“I didn’t mean–” Bellamy pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration, “Why is it that the thing you want to live up to is their cruelty?”

“It’s not cruelty, it’s the way the world works! You’re the one who’s a freak.” Kane spits. “You just don’t want me to be happy! Now that I have a human, I can finally get the respect I deserve!”

Bellamy scoffs. “Oh, is that it? Are you happy now, Kane? I can see that sucking up to those pricks has made you so much less of a bitter, miserable person. You’re just the absolute picture of happiness!”

“I need. A minute.” Kane takes a deep breath and glares at Keegan. “Stay. Here.” He storms out of the storage room, slamming the door behind him.

Keegan holds her breath when Kane turns to her with fury in his eyes and flinches when he slams the door.

“I apologize.” Bellamy says, “That got out of hand. I do hope I’ve caused no undue trouble for you, Keegan.”

"It's ok. He, uh, only hurts me when he's mad at me specifically." She says, subconsciously rubbing the bruises Bellamy pointed out. "Which is often, unfortunately. You two used to be friends?" She can't imagine someone as polite as Bellamy wanting to be around Kane.

Bellamy looks to her apologetically, like he's embarrassed of ever having been Kane's friend. "When we were boys. I haven't spoken to him in eighty-five years. He's always been prone to bouts of anger, but not so explosive as he is now. Or perhaps, he simply never had the opportunity."

Keegan sighs. "He just didn't have a human to kick around yet. Thank you for at least trying to talk him out. I've never met a vampire like you before." She feels a bit guilty for calling him a 'predator' just moments ago, but hopefully he was too preoccupied to have heard it.

"I'm sorry my kind has left such a horrible impression on you," Bellamy says sadly.

Caroline nudges him. "Bel, isn't there anything we can...?"

Bellamy shakes his head. "I'm afraid not." Attempting to steal a human from this event would go poorly for all involved, he's sure.

Keegan wants to cry again. "If you could- I know it's a long shot and probably isn't worth it- but if you could keep trying?" God this is pathetic. "Keep trying to convince him?"

"Of course, dear. Of course I can," Bellamy promises.

It's not hard to anticipate Kane’s return, his stomping audible from a mile away.

“My mother’s here. We’re going back out.” he announces, grabbing Keegan’s bruised forearm.

“Kane, wait." Bellamy's voice is firm. He chooses his words carefully in an attempt to appeal to Kane's values. "Please. I know things got out of hand tonight, but none of that is Keegan's fault. She's only a human. Surely, violence against someone so much weaker than yourself is beneath you. You're better than this."

Kane hesitates. "W-whatever. We're going," he says, but his grip on Keegan relaxes just a bit.

Bellamy looks over to Keegan. “It truly was lovely to meet you, dear. I do wish you the best.”

'Just a human- so much weaker'. There's that awful talking-down-to again, but it works at least a little. She and her arm are grateful to Bellamy for trying.

"Likewise. You too Caroline." Keegan responds. Kane is pulling her back out before she can say much else, but she mouths a sincere "Thank you" as they turn the corner.

Caroline waves at her, sadness in her eyes.

-----

Kane leads her back out to the main room. In the few minutes they’ve been gone, the room has filled out with occupants. Kane lets go of Keegan, trusting her to follow him on her own. He walks up to an older vampire woman, dressed to the nines. “Hello, Mother!” Kane says, a huge smile plastered on his face.

“Oh! Kane, Anton was just telling me you were here!” Kane’s mother exclaims.

“I have a human!” he boasts, gesturing to Keegan.

“That’s very nice.” She nods, not even glancing at Keegan. “Finally catching up! Say, your one hundredth is soon, isn’t it? Maybe we could do something for it!”

“It was two years ago, actually!” Kane’s smile falters for a fraction of a second before returning to its chipper state.

“Oh, well, there’s always two hundred!” she says breezily.

“Yeah!” Kane agrees, glancing around a bit. “U-um, do you know when Father…?”

Kane’s mother smiles. “He was right behind me, should be here any second. Listen, I really would like to stay and chat, but there are so many people I need to speak with tonight.”

His smile really does fall then. “Oh, but I thought-”

She puts a hand near his shoulder, making the motion of a comforting gesture without actually touching him. “You’re doing good. Keep it up.”

Kane beams. “I will!” he nearly shouts as his mother walks away. “That went amazing! That went so well!” Kane enthuses as soon as she's out of earshot.

Did it? That was hard for Keegan to watch. If this is how they treat him, no wonder Kane doesn't talk about his family. She's glad to be ignored by Kane's mother, she wishes he'd stop showing her off like a trophy and drawing attention to her. ‘I'm not an object.’ She reminds herself once again.

Suddenly, all chit-chat dissipates as a new vampire enters.

He doesn’t look much different than any other vampire, aside from obviously being the oldest. He appears in his seventies, though he is likely hundreds, if not over a thousand years in age. But… there is something wrong about him, something any aware human will be able to feel. An energy permeates the room, a deep, human instinct screaming RUN, YOU ARE IN DANGER, YOU NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE RIGHT NOW. This man, above all, is a predator made to hunt things like Keegan.

The human beside him looks dead, far beyond the entranced looks of everyone else. There is zero spark of life behind his eyes, yet he continues standing and breathing, moving along with the vampire like a puppet, clearly somehow alive.

Kane puts a hand to the center of Keegan's back and begins leading her in a beeline directly for the man.

"Father!” Kane calls, all excitement and nerves.

-----

If Death has a physical form, Keegan is sure she has just found it. This is Kane's father. This monster. The blood drains from her face and her entire body trembles. She's been scared before, sure. She grew up in a toxic, violent household and now kills vampires for a living. Fear has kept her alive. But she's only felt true, primal terror of this kind twice in her life. Once, when her mother's throat was torn out in front of her, and now here. At this moment, despite all logic, Keegan is sure with every bone in her body that she is not going to survive the night.

Kane pushes her forward as if to the gallows.

Kane’s father glances briefly at Keegan before turning his eyes on Kane.

The man sighs, shooting Kane a glare. “What is it?” His voice is deep and cold.

“I-I got a human…” he claims timidly, his confidence draining at the icy reception.

Kane’s father does not ignore Keegan as his wife had. Instead, he turned his gaze directly onto her, piercing red eyes almost digging under Keegan's skin. The man brings a hand to Keegan's chin and tilts her head to the side to expose her feeding scars, his skin devoid of warmth.

“Sloppy work,” he comments.

The only reason Keegan does not rip her head away from him is because she knows it would only bring about her demise that much faster. She doesn't blink, staring straight into his eyes. She feels like a child curled up in bed, watching the closet door through the darkness of the room. The moment she blinks the monster will get her. Her skin burns under his touch despite the cold of his hand. ‘Please, I don't want to die. Not like this.’

Kane rushes to defend himself. “I wasn’t, um, that good at feeding at first, but I figured it out! For the past year and a half, I’ve-”

Kane’s father puts a hand up to stop him, and Kane’s mouth snaps shut instantly. His other hand is still on the underside of Keegan's chin, so close to her throat. “It can’t be helped. Passable.” The man finally lets go of her, and walks away without another word.

Kane’s eyes are wide. “Passable…” he repeats to himself in awe, clutching his hands to his chest.

The rest of the night goes without incident, Kane seeming in high spirits. Anton does give Keegan a few glances as it goes on, but at one point he shrugs, as if to say ‘not worth it’. Kane attempts small-talk with a few other people throughout the night, who all largely disregard him. He spends a lot of time wallflowering by himself. Occasionally he starts chatting with Keegan, then realizes he shouldn't be doing that and stops, embarrassed. After a few hours, people start to leave. Kane only exits once his parents do. As they get back in the car, he grins at Keegan. "That went fantastically. You can make your phone call as soon as we get home. Well done."

Keegan doesn't match Kane's good mood. She takes a while to recover from the interaction with his father. She's shaky, and doesn't want him out of her line of sight. He seems fully uninterested in them which helps, but being trapped in the same building with such a threat is rough on her nerves. She stubbornly holds on to her poker face, keeping all her fear in her clenched fists.

Eventually she's able to relax, especially when Kane dares to talk to her a bit. At least he isn't a threat to her at the moment. It's all worth it in the end too, as he keeps his end of the deal. She lived through the night and she's going to get to speak to her sister for the first time in years! It's so exciting, and also a whole new kind of terrifying after so long without contact.

-----

When they return home, Kane removes his tie. "Go on," he says, nodding at the rotary phone sitting on a small table in the corner of the living room. "You've earned it."

He sits on the couch and picks up a book from the mug table.

‘I shouldn't have to earn it.’ Keegan thinks. She can't find it in herself to be mad though. Not right now.

“Ok!” She practically runs to the phone and begins to dial. She feels sick to her stomach with nerves. She doesn't even know what she's going to say. 'I love you. I'm alive. Are you safe??' Those are at the top of the list. But truly she just wants to hear Lohitha’s voice. It's been so, so long.

The phone rings for a while. Each one builds dread in Keegan's stomach. But it is quite early in the morning. It'll just take a minute for her to answer. Right? Keegan bites her lip. ‘C'mon, pick up. please.’

Finally, the line connects and Keegan hears shuffling of fabric and a quiet yawn. "Lohitha?!" She cries desperately. "It's me, Keegan!"

There's a beat of silence. Then a deep, male voice answers. "Who?"

Keegan's heart stops. "Wh- I'm... I'm Keegan Khatri. I'm looking for Lohitha Khatri? Who are y-"

The man interrupts her, tired irritation in his voice. "You got the wrong number." CLICK

The line goes dead. Keegan gasps. No. no no no. She knows that was the right number. She's had it memorized since the moment they moved to that address. But... It's an apartment. She didn't even THINK about that. Lohi wouldn't be living there alone, of course she'd move. Keegan was so caught up in speaking to her she wasted her chance like an idiot! Her eyes flood with tears and she slowly turns towards Kane. He said one phone call. One.

Kane can quietly hear the other line with his supernatural hearing, even from halfway across the room.

He looks up from his book. "I'm no conman, human. I'm a man of my word. One successful phone call." He looks back down and flips the page.

Of course. Kane's at least practical. She lets out a sigh of relief. Keegan is so anxious that she isn't thinking straight.

“Thank you…”

She's not sure how to contact Lohitha now. She could be anywhere. But there's one person who would possibly know. Her hunting partner.

She dials. Only two rings this time before an answer.

"Vivian speaking."

Keegan sighs in relief and smiles. "Hey, partner."

"Keegan??"

"Yeah Vee, it's me. I'm alive. Surprise?"

"What?? The fuck? Where have you been? We thought you were-"

"I was taken. Still am, but... he let me call."

"Oh my God. Ok. Where are you? I will get a group together and come after you I swear-"

"No- Vivian no." Keegan glances at Kane. "That's not- I'm ok. Mostly. I'm not calling for a rescue," ‘as much as I wish I could.’ "I need to know. Lohitha, is she OK? Tell me she's ok."

"Oh- yes! Keegan she's fine! She's been living with me. She's just fine."

Just like that, a massive weight is lifted off Keegan's shoulders. She finally knows. After all this time. Her little sister is safe. Tears of relief pour down her face. "-Thank you, Vee. Thank you so much." She cries. "Please, can you go get her? I need to talk to her. Please."

"Oh… I’m… Keegan she's not home right now. I'm so sorry-"

"What??" No. No. This can't be happening. She was so close!

"She's on a school trip. She won't be home for a few days! Is there any possible way you can call again?"

"No, this.... this is my only one." Keegan says in defeat. After all that... She can't even hear her sister's voice. Her heart is shattering. "Just... Tell her I love her? And I'm so, so sorry. I'm trying to come back to her."

"Of course. I swear I will. She loves you too. She misses you so much."

Keegan sobs. She can't take this anymore. "T-thank you. Please... please k-keep her safe."

"I won't let anything happen to her. You have my word." Quietly Vivian adds, "is there no way you can tell me where-"

"No. He's listening. I just needed... closure." It sounds so final. But she hopes the wording will appease Kane.

-----

Kane does not like the sound of ‘I'm trying to come back to her.’ If his human escaped, he would be the laughing-stock of the century. No one's human ever escapes. No one else's human has the capacity to even want to.

This is why he doesn't allow phone calls. It puts the wrong ideas in his human's head, makes her think she serves a purpose outside being his. The human on the other line keeps trying to plan a rescue, too. This is not good.

"None of this 'trying to go back' business," he reminds her, not looking up from his book.

Hot anger rushes through Keegan. She whips around, face still streaked with tears. "Excuse me for trying to comfort my kid sister who has lost the only family she has left!" She spits, then immediately flinches from her mistake. Fuck, she didn't mean to talk back, this is the worst time-

Kane gives her a deadpan look. "You're lucky I'm in a very good mood, human. Final warning. Behave." He waves for her to continue her call.

She's on thin ice here. She's definitely lucky. She turns back towards the wall with the phone.

"It's not an option, Vivian. But I'm surviving."

"I cannot sit back knowing you're trapped there." Vivian insists. Keegan can tell she's trying to get her to slip her a hint. But Keegan was never the clever one. There's nothing she can say that would not end badly for her or any humans that tried to rescue her. No hidden clue she can pass on.

"You're an incredible friend, Vivian." Keegan says instead. "The best partner. And I love you too. Tell the squad I say hey. Kick my dad in the balls if he tries coming around. Sober or not."

"Keegan you are not about to end this call. I will kill you myself-"

She has to end it. Vivian will never let it go and Keegan can't handle much more. "Lohitha has always wanted a dog, by the way. Goodbye Vivian."

"Don't you fucking dare-"

Click. Keegan places the phone back on the wall, hanging up. She stares unmoving in the silence that follows.

-----

Kane is honestly torn. He does feel for the human: he knows what it's like to be separated from the love of his family. He honestly considers giving her a second chance to call her sister.

But no, he has to stay firm. He is a person, the human is not. It's very clear that if the human talks to her sister, she's just going to be that more determined to get back to her. And he still remembers the horrible pain of boiling water from two years ago. A clean break is best.

"You can go back to your room now," he suggests in the awkward silence.

His human doesn't speak, doesn't look at him. She just shuffles back to her room, staring at her feet. Kane, quite honestly, forgets about the human's troubles soon after she leaves the room. He heads upstairs to his own room, giddy with excitement about the relatively-positive reception from his parents.

The moment the door is shut behind her, Keegan slides down the wall and cries. She doesn't care if Kane hears. She doesn't care about much at all anymore. Her heart has just split in two.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sorry :(

Taglist: @whumpsday @not-a-space-alien @anomalys-taxonomy @what-if-i-just-did @dragonqueenslayer6

@jumpywhumpywriter @writereleaserepeat

#my posts #my writing #suppressing fire #last chance #kane & jim #keegan khatri #turning point for Keegan here

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on-leatheredwings · 8 months ago

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Main Dami thought, including specific sub thoughts!

Doing any type of skin, body or hair care with him turns into him doing them for you. 1) he wants you to rely on him and show you that he can take care of you, and one way he slowly starts that process is insisting on "pampering" you. 2) he thinks he knows best and the proper products you should be using. Alot of organic products that are handmade or prestige and luxury that you couldn't dream of affording, the hand made ones are from his mother I feel like, with your personal preferences in mind.

-i feel like he would see you shaving with a disposable razor or even just a plastic one and be appalled. He will shave you with a straight razor, which he's very good at. Steady hands and all that blade training coming in handy. He would also learn how to wax/sugar if that's what you prefer. If you insisted, and I mean full blown conniption fit several times, he will call someone to privately do it. It might be someone from the league.....it might not. Who's to say?

It doesn't matter what hair texture or style you have, he WILL be giving you a scalp massage and oiling it. He will also be putting in whatever hair products you use for you. He's desperately touchstarved so he loves the fact that the scents he associates with you linger on his hands, even if they're not his preferred scents.

-i feel like he would have a fairly clean scent to him. Nothing to musky or sweet. Some sort of herb and tea mixture. Like a matcha/green tea with a bit of honey, amber, chamomile and maybe even a bit of dark cocoa/chocolate to bring that initial almost bitterness back. Well balanced, green florals with a tad bit of sweetness that doesn't get cloying and a hint of earthiness. Uses a plain peppermint lip balm.

Also the process of explaining things like everything showers or girl dinner/math to him would be similar to explaining what a cell phone is to a Victorian child.

Much love from Damian anon (I really need to figure out a shorter sign off, even just Damian anon is still long as frick)

god this kinna hit the spot i needed the relaxation today EHEHEH... DAMIAN SPA DAY.... IM HAVING IDEAS

as a grower of body hair thank you for the clean shave dami 🙏🏾 (kinda a fantasy for a guy to shave me with no disgust . im sure that stems from some trauma of being a woman <3 we live in a society <3)

every black damian fan screamed BEGGING YOU TO BRAID MY HAIR FOR ME DAMI....S AVE ME DAMIAN SAVE ME DAMIAN, DAMIAN SAVE ME

oh god i agree i think he'd have such a nice "clean" scent to him... refreshing... maybe like match or mint like you said... and some lightly-sweet aromatics idk . lord i dont know smells <3

this was eggcellent im putting it in my recs tag

now im going to search up what everything showers are bc i know girl dinner/math but not that . if i told damian about girl dinner he'd be appalled . he'd be like "That's a level of desolate nutrition I've only experienced during assassin training or a mission in the Alps."

#recommend #ask

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creepylittlelady · 1 year ago

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Sally Williams headcannons? 😋

HELL YEAH I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS ONE I LOVE SALLY SO MUUUCHHH, She's not THAT important in my AU but she serves an important character role as she is close to all of the lore important characters (Slender/Zalgo, Lazari, Ben, EJ, Laughing Jack+Jill) so she does serve an overarching purpose. However she just isn't that involved in the greater story.

Backstory: Sally was one of the first Creepypastas I ever learnt about! I even knew who she was before the popular ones like Jeff and Ben lol I actually got into Creepypastas properly after hearing her backstory, so I've got her to thank for how I turned out lol

Anyways...

Sally Headcanons

-Sally's one of the oldest 'beings' in the Forest, besides Slenderman and Laughing Jack+Jill. She was born in the late 50s and died in the mid 60s, making her old as HELL. However, in terms of the age she died, she's actually the youngest in the whole Labrinth.

-Since she died in the 60s, she's definitely a product of her era. Since every form of Ghost stays the same mentally and physically after death, she's definitely an old fashioned person. She doesn't really have 'traditional values' but she definitely finds it incredibly hard to understand certain 'modern aspects' of society and culture.

-She's often referred to as 'Grandma Sally' or as 'Wise Elder' by the younger beings that live in the forest. Majority of the time its used as an insult, since the spirits in the Forest don't like her.

-She ranks pretty high on the 'Ghost' Hierarchy, as she's a Spectre so she can actually achieve a corporal form under a certain set of conditions. In the Forest, she has a corporal form due to it being a Labrinth, therefore it not following natural laws, however in the Outside World she is a proper Ghost so she is invisible and cannot touch things.

-She finds it incredibly hard to understand modern technology. Since she retains the same knowledge capacity she had in life, you can explain how the Internet works to her about a million times and she still just won't understand.

-One thing she just doesn't understand is mobile phones. She only knows how to operate Payphones and Landlines, but she just doesn't understand how a phone works. She SCREAMED the first time she saw one as she believed it was some form of Magic.

-Sometimes she'll secretly watch over the Proxies when they're on missions. They only realised recently, and sometimes use her when they think she'll be useful.

Another Incorrect quote for you:

Masky: Okay Sally if we don't come back in an hour, call Slender for assistance. Sally: I can't. Masky: Why? Sally: I don't have any quarters. *Masky facepalms*

-She's a sassy ass Ghost, and only really pretends to be nice in front of newer residents or in front of the 'adults' like the Proxies, Slender, Jeff etc. Ben, Lazari, Lulu and the younger Pastas definitely know her bs.

-Her best friend is Lazari, and they go on wacky adventures like Jeff and Ben do except its WAY more chaotic, it's very fun to watch them wrestle a ghost for stealing Mr. Death from Sally.

Sally is the brains and Lazari is the brawns (since she's a half demon she's got superman levels of brute force strength).

-Since none of the Ghosts like her and Ben besides Lucy, she often gets into fights with them and boasts about how she can touch things whilst they can't. That's actually the reason why they hate her.

-Ben is sort of like an older brother to her. He often messes around with her and they have tea-parties together with Lazari, sometimes forcefully bringing Jeff along.

-Whilst Nina is gifted at reading who you are as a person, Sally is good at reading your emotions at any given moment. She's good at figuring out peoples needs and what kinda of trauma they could be suffering from. Because of this many newer Pastas tend to gravitate towards her since she'll pick up on the way they'll want to be treated.

-She both adores and is deadly terrified of Slender and Zalgo. Whilst she likes them when they're normal, and especially loves Slender when it's Charles in charge of the body, she's terrified of them when they're in their more 'demonic' states. She hates the Operator due to all the additional trauma he's given her and she doesn't really go near Zalgo due to his violent tendencies.

-Mr. Death is her comfort item, so if you DARE try and touch it without her permission she'll fucking kill you.

-As she's a ghost, she can possess inanimate objects temporarily which she likes doing to scare people, or sometimes do nice things. She once possessed Natalie's stuffed giraffe to say some kind words to her, which worked.

-She's just as capable of being nice as she is capable of being mean. However she is very kind majority of the time, just as long as you don't piss her off, or mention John Williams in ANY SORT OF WAY.

Being serious here. Any mention of John will get you a nasty smack from most residents in the mansion.

-She doesn't swear in any shape or form, as she believes it's unlady-like (remember, traditional values sort of), but she has been known to have used 'Frick' on the record at least once. She doesn't even really say 'Jesus Christ' or use the lord's name in vain, as she grew up Christian (most people were in the 60s but I'm not sure if that was confirmed or anything).

-She LOVES all of the female Pastas (Natalie, Jane, Zero, Dina etc) and often has sleepovers with them and Lazari. Her and Lazari basically do everything together and you don't really see the two apart unless if they've had a fight.

-However she has a complicated relationship with the male pastas. She's neutral towards most of them, but really dislikes Masky and Hoody alongside Jeff as they're almost impossible to read. She's definitely the closest with Ben and EJ, as they both see her as a little sister figure.

She and Laughing Jack+Jill have the most complicated relationship. Due to their personal hatred of children (besides for when he's trying to kill them), it took a long time for the two of them to get along. She likes stacking donuts on his nose when he's asleep.

-She's aware of Lazari's half-sisters, although Lazari isn't, and sometimes delivers presents to her from them.

-Due to being born during the Cold War, she's quite confused about the difference between the Soviet Union and Russia. Weird headcanon but I feel like it would be funny if there was an interaction like;

Sally: Hey did the USA finally beat the Commies? Lazari: Girl what is a Commie Sally: You know, like the Soviet Union? Did we finally beat them and the evil Russian spies? Jeff: GIRL WHAT

-She wants to be apart of the Mansion's Literature Club, however Ben consistently rejects her, much to her chagrin. She mainly wants to join because she wants to figure out what the hell a Fanfiction is and why Nina is so good at writing them.

-Due to the fact that the Mansion has unrestricted internet access and Sally doesn't know enough about the internet to know how to be safe on there, she's seen...stuff.

She accidentally stumbled across Ben's search history whilst trying to use Google and THE HORRORS SHE SAW ON THERE THAT POOR POOR GIRL.

-She actually really likes My Little Pony and has some of the figures. She's blissfully unaware of what a Bronie is, thank the lord.

Her favourite character is Pinkie Pie, of course.

-She often leaves the Labrinth secretly with Lazari to mess with the local kids, and the two of them have gathered somewhat of a name for themselves.

-She often randomly gives long and philosophical speeches about life despite being mentally around 8 years old. Sometimes when Toby's having a meltdown she'll just talk about the meaning of life and family loss and everyone will just sit there in awe.

Then she'll go quiet and act like nothing happened.

There you go, some Sally headcanons! I've got a lot in terms of her connection to the overarching lore of my AU, so if you want I'll give you those too!

#littlelady #creepypasta #slenderman #creepypasta fandom #creepypasta au #puppet strings #jeff the killer #lord zalgo #ben drowned #lazari creepypasta #sally williams creepypasta #sally williams headcanons #smile dog #laughing jack #eyeless jack #lifeless lucy #laughing jill

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alj4890 · 1 year ago

Text

Can't Take My Eyes Off of You

(Maxwell Beaumont x Olivia Nevrakis) in a Choices The Royal Romance Crackship AU

A/N The Ball at Olivia's has always been one of my favorite chapters in TRR canon. I love how Riley gets special time with everyone, we see the feelings between each character begin to change and become more intense, etc. And with everyone's reaction during the Cordonian Waltz, how could I not include it in this AU?

Masterlist

Chapter 3

Olivia's Ballroom...

"Why are you acting so weird?" Riley asked. "I don't think I've ever heard you speak this formally before."

Maxwell held his phone up to her ear and hit play.

She could clearly hear Bertrand's numerous reminders that Maxwell needed to be on his best behavior. He was a representative of not only their name but their very position in society, and that Bertrand would find out if Maxwell stepped one toe out of line manner wise.

Bubbly laughter escaped her lips.

"How many messages did he leave for you?" She asked.

"That makes fifty-three since this morning." Maxwell muttered.

"So what I'm hearing is that you and I can't cut loose and just have a ball at a ball?" She teased.

"Not tonight." He grinned at her. "Not if you want your favorite Beaumont to be your escort the rest of the season." He pointed to the windows, leaning even closer towards her to whisper. "I bet Bertrand knows where the best spots are to hide my body if I don't act like the proper spare to a dukedom."

Riley giggled some more. "We can't have that. I wouldn't survive without you!"

"Then I better be the best behaved noble here." He straightened his posture, bowed before her, then ruined the effect with a wink.

"I'll find you ladies later for a dance. I need to go to my table."

"Where are we sitting?" Riley asked.

"About that..." He winced while leading her to a seating chart. "Olivia put me at her table. But you and Hana are over here." He pointed at a spot on the very opposite side of the ballroom, tucked away in a corner.

"Hey look!" Riley pointed at another name. "At least we'll have Drake with us."

"I think Olivia meant it as a slight." Hana explained. "She must not think too highly of us to sit us way back there with him."

Riley shrugged it off. "I'm just happy to be here instead of a dungeon. I mean, look at this place. It's gorgeous!"

Maxwell and Hana shared a smile as Riley went on how exciting it was to see another ball. Her infectious optimism could lighten up any situation and he was grateful for it. No wonder he'd seen Hana and Drake hanging around her more and more as their days in Lythikos dragged on. Who wouldn't want to?

"I think our table will be known as the fun one before the night is through." Riley declared. "Sorry, Max."

"Don't be." He squeezed her hand. "I wish I could sit with you guys."

He sincerely did, not just for a chance to relax and cut loose, but because he dreaded what the next few hours would do to him while being forced to have an up close and personal view in Olivia's dogmatic pursuit of Liam.

A man could only stand for so long to see the one he wants most want someone else.

Dukes and duchess are always invited to the head tables. Why couldn't my ancestors suck at being a noble? Then maybe Bertrand would be a viscount. OOOH! Or a baron! Baron Beaumont. Baron Bertrand Beaumont. That has a nice ring to it. Alliteration is always awesome.

"We'll find a way for you to have fun too." Riley reassured him.

When she noticed some guests staring at them, she curtsied to him, keeping her hand in his. The sparkling ice blue gown she wore twinkled in the light, catching everyone's eye.

Maxwell chuckled softly, then pressed a kiss to her knuckles once she stood up.

"Thank you, my lady."

"See ya," she replied in a thicker than usual Brooklyn accent to make him smile, "My lord."

*******************

Olivia's lips thinned in a line as she observed Maxwell and Riley's behavior. She didn't think it cute the little parting they had before Riley was banished to no man's land. Her eyes remained on Maxwell until he turned towards her.

She then directed a charming smile towards her approaching prince.

"Good evening, your grace." Liam lifted her hand to his lips for a brief kiss. "You've outdone yourself once again in hosting the court."

"Thank you." She gestured to the place towards her right. "Won't you sit down?"

Liam did so, his gaze sweeping the number of guests mingling and finding their tables.

"I know as a prince I shouldn't have favorites, but I've always preferred your ballroom to any of the others in Cordonia.*

"You can thank my ancestor, Theodosia, for this." Olivia explained. "She was the only hopeless romantic in the family and deemed that a ballroom be constructed over one of the fighting pits at Lythikos."

"I think I would have approved of Theodosia's way of thinking." Liam's attention settled on Riley once he found her.

"From what I've read, she was an annoying woman who was obsessed with falling in love." Olivia rolled her eyes. "I doubt I could stomach her for five seconds. No true Nevrakis could be that soft."

"I don't believe falling in love or longing for it makes one soft." Liam argued, his attention unwavering upon the lady he believed he'd lost his heart to. "In my experience, it makes the person better in every single way."

Olivia studied his profile quietly.

Does love really have that power? I suppose it would if the person one fell in love with was someone like Liam. I don't know if the world can handle it if I become better than I already am once married to the love of my life.

She was snapped out of her musings when a familiar shadow fell over them.

"Your highness" Maxwell greeted with a bow, "your grace."

Liam's welcoming smile held both delight and a great deal of relief. "Are you sitting with us?"

"Yes." Maxwell cleared his throat. "Lady Olivia was gracious enough to sit me at your table in Bertrand's absence."

"Hmm," Olivia mused, "so formal, Lord Beaumont."

"I believe formality is required at these events. Do you disagree, your grace?" Maxwell sat down across from the pair.

She narrowed her eyes at him.

It seems the snack cakes didn't work on bringing the old Maxwell back. I'll never get anything out of him in the current state he's in.

"Surely, my lord, you will relent on propriety so that we can talk as old friends." Olivia summoned her most charming smile. "The three of us share so many memories."

"Four," Maxwell corrected. "You forgot Drake."

"I think one should do all they can to forget him." She replied.

"I think you managed to pull it off with where you decided to sit him." Maxwell mumbled under his breath.

Her eyes narrowed once more upon him.

Liam's chuckle reminded them both that he was at their table.

"Some things will never change." He explained when they both looked at him curiously. "Though it might be nice to see you and Drake finally bury the hatchet that's been between you for years."

"I'm more than happy to bury that hatchet in his thick skull." Olivia quipped. "Once I find where I left it."

Maxwell snorted. "There's some better weapon choices in your armory."

"I've always been partial to a flail." She added, genuinely smiling at Maxwell for the first time in days.

"It leaves an impression like no other." Maxwell grinned at her. "Literally and figuratively."

Olivia laughed, launching into a tale of one of her ancestor's prowess with that particular weapon.

"Perhaps we could change to a less gruesome topic of conversation." Liam cut in once bowls of steamy lobster bisque was set before them.

His companions eyed him in surprise. He had to suppress his laughter over the thought of how long these two could talk about weapons. If not for the lumpy, orangish red substance in front of him, he would have allowed the conversation to continue in graphic form.

He didn't need a visual representation of what a flail could do along with their added commentary.

***************

Course after course was set before them. Olivia redirected the conversation each time to find ways to flirt with Liam. Though she had managed to catch a brief glimpse of the old Maxwell she once knew, he'd reverted back to being quiet and proper. She did her best to ignore him for the most part.

Liam, on the other hand, was doing his best to not only deflect her flirty comments but to also drag Maxwell into every new subject that was discussed.

Why, Maxwell silently cried out to the heavens, am I forced to have a front row seat for this?

Every touch Olivia gave Liam, every glance, every single compliment cut Maxwell to the quick. He knew before he ever sat down that this night would be the hardest of his life. He just hadn't anticipated it being this difficult.

He longed to interrupt them. He wanted to draw Olivia's attention back on himself. He needed her to look at him the way she did Liam. He knew the prince was handsome and practically perfect. The man deserved her attention because he was such a great guy.

But still...

Is it too much to ask to have one lady of the Court, one specific lady, be this way over me?

It might be. Who knew why he was so unlucky in love? He only knew his heart had been foolish enough to fall for someone who had fallen for someone else.

He eyed the cutlery when a plate of Olive Wagyu steak was set before him. The knife was looking more and more tempting as a means to ending his torment. Accidentally on purpose cutting himself would allow him a chance to escape.

Worst case scenario: after bleeding everywhere and freaking people out, he would have a cool scar to remind him of tonight.

Liam, being the epitome of politeness, pulled Maxwell's attention back from different body spots he could causally drop his knife on and survive when he complimented Olivia again on her choice of menu.

She lit up with pride each time the prince said he enjoyed something.

Maxwell did all he could to not simply stare at her.

His mind was refusing to work and help him find ways to keep his cool and with topics conversation. His imagination alone should have kicked into high gear and helped him out, but no, everything was against him tonight.

With a white knuckle grip, he cut into the perfectly prepared filet and did his best to ignore the pair in front of him.

****************

When Maxwell heard the beginning of a Cordonian Waltz begin, he softly groaned. There wasn't a dance created that set the mood, romantically speaking, more so than this particular one. His nation would do something like this to him. Give the perfect chance to hold the one he desires close, yet have her ask someone else.

"My prince?" Olivia stood and offered her hand to Liam. "Shall we begin the ball?"

"I would be honored to, your grace." Liam led her to the middle of the ballroom.

"Who wouldn't be?" Maxwell muttered, tossing his napkin on the table.

He rubbed his hands over his face then forced himself to join the other nobles along the edge of the dance floor. Instead of watching Liam and Olivia, he sought out Riley.

"Hey!" She smiled at him. "How's it going?"

"Great!" He lied. "May I have the honor of your first dance this evening, my lady?"

Her lips trembled with a giggle she was fighting. "It is I who is honored, my lord."

Maxwell grinned at her. Taking her in his arms, his eyes widened over a thought.

"Umm," he swallowed nervously, "do you know the steps to this?"

"I do, thanks to Hana." Riley whispered. "A heads up from you would have been nice."

"I am so, so sorry." Maxwell moved her through the steps. "I guess I had other things on my mind."

"It's okay." Riley squeezed his hand. "Just, help a girl out next time, okay?"

"I will." He grinned at her again. "You're doing great, by the way "

"I know." She winked at him. "The word flawless comes to mind when I spin."

To prove her point, she twirled elegantly within his arms.

"You're right. Absolutely flawless." He told her. "Even Bertrand would be struck speechless with your gracefulness."

"I would have loved to have seen that. Remind me to do this dance in front of him one day." She teased.

"Will do." Maxwell promised.

"You know," Riley added as she rocked back and forth in his embrace, "this seems a little scandalous for your people. I didn't think nobles touched anything other than hands."

"All that pent up frustration is probably what caused this dance to become a hit." He joked. "A hand can only do so much for one's libido."

"Only if you're not using it right." She teased.

Maxwell bit back his laughter. "Ready to change partners?"

Riley glanced over at Liam. "You mean?"

"Yep." Maxwell twirled her into her prince's arms.

And ended up with Olivia in his.

He felt a jolt of electricity shoot through his body the moment her curves briefly brushed against him.

Olivia tilted her head at an angle as she looked at him.

"Is, uh, is something wrong?" He asked.

He could feel the sweat building up on his forehead.

"Yes." She replied. "I don't know what it is, but there is definitely something wrong here."

"Sounds vexing." He mumbled.

"Good lord, Maxwell!" She snapped. "Why are you still talking like this?!"

"Like what?" He asked.

"Like everyone else in our society!"

"Isn't that how we're supposed to act?" He grumbled. "Aren't we trained to mimic each other?"

"They might be prone to act that way, but you and I never once caved in to that type of thinking!" She pointed out. "You have been the only noble I could depend on to be an individual, like me, instead of part of their hive minds."

He twirled her into his arms, almost cuddling her close to his chest.

Olivia's gasp was involuntary. She tried to recall the last time she'd danced the Cordonian Waltz with him and came up blank.

She couldn't remember ever doing this with Maxwell, which had to be the reason she was noticing everything being this close to him.

She could feel the restrained strength of his muscular arms. She could smell the light splash of his Fragrance Dubois Heritage. It was almost intoxicating the clean, woodsy aroma mixed with his body heat. His warm breath grazing her lips while those ocean blue eyes of his stared into her own made her heart stutter.

I didn't feel like this in Liam's arms.

That stray thought snapped her back into why she was hosting this ball in the first place. It was for Liam. All she was doing was for a chance to be with him.

No matter how odd she felt in Maxwell's arms, there was only one goal tonight: get closer to Liam.

I would probably experience the same reaction if I danced with Tariq or some other person here, she argued with herself. I shouldn't be surprised to feel this way around Maxwell. I'm sure it's normal to notice every little detail when this close to someone.

"I don't think I'm that bad." Maxwell said.

"Huh?" Olivia wondered what he was talking about.

"I don't think I'm like the other nobles." He reiterated.

"The other nobles?" Her eyes focused on his mouth.

"You said I'm acting like them." He reminded her.

"Umhmm." She noticed the beginning of evening stubble darkening around his mouth and jawline.

He must have shaved this morning.

His lips began to curve, causing her to look up once more. She saw amusement in his face which made her pull away some from him. Her eyes narrowed upon his in parting then she twirled back to take her place in Liam's arms. Her temper was teetering on boiling over at having been swept away momentarily by Maxwell and in now seeing that Liam and Riley were completely lost in the other.

"Excuse me," she cleared her throat. "I believe Liam's my partner now."

The couple reluctantly let go of the other. Olivia watched as Riley returned to Maxwell, frowning even more so at their easy smiles of greeting. One would think they hadn't seen each other in a while the way they acted.

It was grating on her already frazzled nerves to see their closeness.

"I think your ball will be the hit of the season." Liam said, noticing all the nobles enjoy themselves.

Olivia looked up at him. Her frown eased hearing what she knew to be true.

"They usually are." She boasted.

The moment the complicated twirl within his arms came, she knew the time was right to finally make her move. Without any hesitation, she closed the few inches of distance and kissed Liam.

**************

All color drained from Maxwell's face the moment it happened. His jaw dropped. A strange, buzzing sound filled his ears. He couldn't tell what Riley was saying to him. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw her turn to see what had put him into shock.

She somehow remained quiet. Her brow furrowed in thought as she watched what had drawn every eye in the room.

Kiara's gasp of outrage nearby helped bring Maxwell out of his stupor.

He wasn't certain how his mind cleared enough to act with precision. Somehow his body moved Riley away from the heart breaking spectacle, and into an empty corner.

Riley's attention was still on Liam and Olivia. She seemed to breathe a touch easier once Liam gently but firmly pushed the duchess away. Once the two left to talk privately, Riley turned towards Maxwell.

"You okay?" He asked.

"No. Not really." She mumbled. "It was stupid of me to think I'm the only one he's kissing. Liam's probably making out with every woman here."

"He's not that kind of guy." Maxwell gently grasped her arms. "Trust me. He isn't the kind to kiss every girl he can. Now if Leo was still the crown prince, then it would be a different story."

He lifted his eyes towards the door that Liam and Olivia disappeared behind.

"Olivia was the one to initiate that kiss."

"So?" Riley folded her arms. "I usually do the same with Liam."

Her brow furrowed with both anger and self loathing.

"Dammit! I'm going to stop throwing myself at Liam to see if what we have really is special. I bet he's been laughing at me every time I leave."

"Hey!" Maxwell grasped her arms once more and gave her a little shake. "Don't even start thinking like that! Liam doesn't do those kinds of things. If he's meeting you in private, you can bet you're the only one."

Riley bit down on her bottom lip. "I hate this competition."

"It isn't a competition." He lowered his head until he was eye level with her. "Not with you in it."

Her lips eased into a grateful smile. "How do you always manage to turn my doubts into hope?"

"It's a gift." He shrugged, grinning at her. "Now, how about we do some strategizing?"

"You mean, grab Liam and make out in front of everyone once he comes back inside?"

Maxwell started laughing. How often had he thought of doing something outrageous like that with Olivia?

"Maybe we'll put that as Plan B. Plan A is to gain you some needed support amongst the other ladies of the court."

He nodded towards where Kiara was furiously whispering to all who would listen about Olivia's behavior.

"Oh. But why would she support me? We're competing for the same man." Riley asked.

"Kiara's the kind who uses logic. She knows her chances aren't as great as others, so she'll want to get in the good graces of Cordonia's future queen. She has plans to be used in diplomatic endeavors for Cordonia more so than to win Liam." He explained.

"I see." She straightened her shoulders and did her best not to look like she'd had the rug pulled out from under her. "Okay. Here goes nothing."

Maxwell watched with pride as Riley made her way over. Seeing Kiara's frown leave in the midst of their conversation let him know all was going well.

He was finally able to allow his shattered heart to take over.

He slumped against the wall and lowered his head in his hands.

She kissed him. How can I possibly compete with Liam after this?

Maxwell straightened from his spot. He decided to do some more observing once he saw Liam make a beeline for Riley.

He dropped his hands and let his head fall back against the wall while failing to see a way forward. All his plans seemed pointless now that Olivia knew what Liam's kiss felt like. As great as the prince was in everything he did, Maxwell was pretty sure that he excelled in all romantic endeavors.

He was one of the first to notice when the pair return. Liam's features were in a carefully, calm mask while Olivia's expressive face revealed confusion and was that...disappointment?

***************

A few hours later...

Olivia had never been more thankful to finally be alone in her room. It surprised her how tired she felt once the ball ended. She knew the reason why she was exhausted, yet couldn't quite accept it.

Why did Liam refuse to see they were meant for each other?

As she began to pull the pins out that held her hair up, she replayed their conversation after she kissed him.

"Olivia, I don't quite know how to say this," Liam began.

She beamed at him. She knew this was when he would say he'd been in love with her for years too. He'd only been waiting on the proper moment to tell her. He would probably say he was grateful she'd taken the initiative.

"But we shouldn't kiss."

"What?" She blinked at him.

He hesitated.

"Olivia, I am supposed to give every lady here a chance."

"Come on, Liam." She rolled her eyes. "Are you honestly telling me you're giving serious thought to making someone like Penelope your queen?"

"I have to." He told her.

"Look, I understand you believe you have to, but we both know I'm your only choice. The best one, to say the least."

"Olivia, you're one of my oldest friends." Liam tried to find a way to make her understand without hurting her. "I care greatly for you and I would never want to hurt you, but..."

"But?" She prodded when his voice dropped off.

"But, I've only ever felt friendship towards you." He admitted.

She waived that off. "This is the first time you've allowed yourself to think differently. I'm sure you'll soon come to feel as I do."

"Olivia, I--"

"Besides, it is past time that everyone else sees our potential." She added. "No need for them to have their hopes up."

He shook his head. A muscle spasmed in his jaw as he tried to find a way to make her see he had no desire for her.

"You cannot kiss me again." Liam stated in an unusually hard tone. "Not in public nor in private."

"Liam, don't you see--"

Her jaw dropped as he bowed his head to her, offered his arm, then declared that they needed to return to the ballroom.

"No need to draw more attention to ourselves by lingering out here." He told her. "We will not discuss what happened on the dance floor again."

Olivia took his arm and quietly returned to the ball.

She hadn't particularly liked him deciding they wouldn't talk anymore about it.

Maybe he needs time to get used to the idea. If he has only seen me as a childhood friend, then it might take him longer to see me as a woman.

A knock at her door made her heart leap. She knew it must be Liam. He would want to check on her after all that happened. Maybe even tell her he had a change of heart.

She opened it, her smile disappearing at the sight of Maxwell standing there.

"Hey." He swallowed. "I, um, I..."

"You what?" She demanded.

"I wanted to check on you."

"And why would I need to be checked on?" She asked, folding her arms. "Tonight was a success. Surely, even you saw that."

He slipped his hands in his pockets, propped his shoulder against her doorframe, and lowered his eyes.

"Liv, I saw the kiss."

She stilled. She had a feeling she wasn't going to like what else he saw.

"And I saw what happened once you two came back to the ballroom." He lifted his eyes to hers. "I wish..."

She cocked an eyebrow in silent question.

"I wish you hadn't gotten hurt." He said softly.

"Hurt?" She scoffed at the notion. "Why would I be hurt? I kissed the man I loved tonight."

Maxwell's eyebrows drew together.

"How did it feel?" He asked.

"Excuse me?" She snapped.

"How did it feel?" He repeated. "Was it everything you'd imagined?"

Her lips parted as she thought about it.

While she'd infused every bit of her heart in the kiss, Liam's lips had remained firm and unyielding. There was no response, not even one of curious desire.

It was nothing like the many daydreams she'd spent years on.

Maxwell sighed softly. "You deserve to have a kiss that makes your knees weak."

She snorted in derision. "That's not real."

"It is!" He argued. "When you're kissed by someone who loves you, who wants you more than he's ever wanted anyone in his life, every part of your body comes alive. Your heart feels like it will beat out of your chest. Your mind seizes with the thought of how much you want them. You can't pull them close enough. You feel like you could kiss them forever and you're certain if you stop for a single moment that you'll probably die. You need them, their touch, the feel of their lips, like you need air."

He lifted his hand to her cheek, catching her off guard.

"That's what it's like to be kissed by someone who loves you."

Maxwell leaned closer while dropping his hand, his eyes locked upon hers. "So did you feel any of that when Liam kissed you?"

Olivia refused to answer.

"I didn't think so." Maxwell mumbled. "I knew something was up when you came back to the ballroom. You should have been on cloud nine after that kiss if it had been done right."

"So what, are you some kissing expert all of the sudden?" She snapped. "Who are you to assume it wasn't all that and more?"

His eyes narrowed.

She stepped closer, poking her finger in his chest. "Trust me. It might not be perfect now, but it will be. Once Liam chooses me, everything will line up with your version of a kiss."

"You think so?" He asked.

"I know so." She huffed. "There's no one like Liam."

"That's true." He swallowed. "Still..."

"What?" Olivia glared at him.

"Perhaps you should kiss someone else, just to prove that Liam is the one." He offered.

Her laughter held a bitter edge. "I don't need proof. I've known he was the one since I was five years old."

"Have you kissed anyone, other than Liam?"

Olivia rolled her eyes. "Of course I have."

"And did those do anything for you?" Maxwell hoped she said no.

"Not particularly." She replied.

He released a relieved breath. "Good."

"Good? Why is that--"

Olivia gasped when he slipped his arm around her waist. Her eyes widened when his free hand slipped into her hair. She knew in the back of her mind that she could easily escape this simple embrace. Lord knows, she knew at least ten moves that would have him flipped over her shoulder lying prostrate on the ground.

Something though, she supposed it was curiosity, kept her from doing so. Instead of reacting in her usual manner, she waited to see what he would do next.

Her eyelashes fluttered closed with the first tender brush of his lips on hers. The almost uncertain coaxing for them to part and allow him to truly kiss her sent a brief jolt to her body.

Feeling like she ought to at least allow him to do this to prove him wrong, she opened her mouth and ended up sinking against him.

A low moan escaped her as his tongue tangled with hers. Her hands moved up his chest so that her fingers could slip into his hair.

One of his hands moved to grip her hip, pulling her even closer. He wrapped a few of her loose, red locks around his fist, keeping her head at the perfect angle.

His moan followed hers as he dipped down to kiss along her neck.

Her breath caught in her throat when he returned back to her mouth with intense purpose.

Each suck, nibble, and full exploration of her lips made her restlessly move against him.

"Maxwell." She mumbled against his mouth before he pressed her against the wall.

Her eyes widened as his blatant desire for her notched hers beyond what she'd experienced before. She knew it was crazy, but she wanted more, more of him, his touch, everything.

"Do you have any idea what you do to me?" He asked, breathing heavily against her mouth.

She shook her head, leaning forward to kiss him.

He moaned, reaching down to lift her leg over his hip.

"Don't st--" she covered her mouth when she heard the click of a door being opened.

Maxwell pressed his face against her neck, willing himself to be silent.

The two watched Tariq, oblivious to them in the shadows, head towards the stairs.

Olivia sagged against Maxwell, nearly falling to the ground.

"That was close." He whispered.

"Too close." She placed a shaky hand on his chest to keep him from kissing her again. "It's late. We should probably turn in."

Maxwell nodded, his throat convulsing as if holding in his denial.

"Sleep well, Liv." He forced himself to step away from her.

She watched him until he returned to his room. She stood there a little longer afterwards to try and calm her racing mind in the dark hallway.

When she moved towards her room, she realized her trembling legs meant one thing that she absolutely refused to accept.

Her knees had gone weak.

#choices the royal romance #maxwell beaumont x olivia nevrakis #trr maxwell #trr olivia #choices trr #choices crackship #can't take my eyes off you #choices the stories you play #choices fic writers creations

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licorice-and-rum · 4 months ago

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please write your rant about male domestic abuse victims

Okay, I'll do this but fair warning, I might include some kind of parallels to the Depp vs Heard trial(s) because my mind functions better if I have some kind of real-life or fictional literature to support me through the development of my thoughts, so if you believe Amber Heard for some reason, you might not like what I have to say. Also, please if you're gonna comment, be gentle and polite, I'm always open to new (well-based) points of view and I promise I'm open to an honest conversation with anyone who is kind <3

Observation: I will use Domestic Violence (DV) as a broad term throughout this but know that I refer mostly to Intimate Partner Violence (IPV) here. The difference between the two is that DV can happen between members of the same nuclear family (between brothers, partners, or child and parents) while IPV happens only between romantic partners.

The reason I don't use DV especially is because abuse against boys (by parents, sisters, etc.) also falls under this category and then it's a whole other discussion about the socialization of children and teenagers, the social minority they represent and how that's a whole new discussion (that I'd be happy to extend in another post actually if there are any other people interested).

To begin with, we have to understand some things: we don't have exact data about male victims of domestic abuse, not only because it's severely under-reported but also because many reports are not even filed because the lines for escaping domestic violence (police, shelters, phone lines, etcetera.) attend only women and girls, or demonstrate a clear bias towards those victims. Plus, as it happens with women as well, abuse doesn't present just physically, but also emotionally and psychologically.

However, just to give you all an idea, in the UK, for example, it's estimated that almost 20% of domestic violence reports were from men in the last two years (2022-23), according to ManKind Initiative. In the US, according to The Tech Report, almost 45% of men believe they were victims of abusive relationships in their lives. In Australia, according to the Australian Bureau of Statistics, 38% of victims of violence in the country were men, 64% being DV-related.

Now, there is a reason for this, and this is called patriarchy. Patriarchy is the concept of one of the pillars of how our society is built, and it means the subjugation of one binary gender (female) by another binary gender (male) - although this definition is more for this essay's purpose than accurate for an academic study for example. It's important to note that gender violence presents itself against women institutionally (through proper institutions, such as the legal system, for example, or a company's hierarchy) and structurally (it's in the roots of our society culturally and thus, infecting everything else).

According to The Patriarchs, journalist Angela Saini's latest book, the Patriarchy is something tricky to explore even for our earlier academics, such as Engels, for example, because it presents itself in many different ways. For example, it changes its characterization according to culture, environmental needs, History, and other factors. Still, the important thing is that it has various different aspects in the areas it's present.

What I want to explore goes a little bit further: I want to understand how the oppression of women affects men because, unlike many other kinds of oppression, gender-related violence affects their enforcers (men) as well as their victims (women). Now, I am not saying this violence is equal to each other: violence against women permeates our societies' very core, it's ingrained in our institutions, in our culture. But on an interpersonal level, gender violence affects men and women both.

Men are pressured into "being a man" (a white person doesn't have to prove they're white in the same sense or with the same intensity as a man has to prove his man-ness), they're molded to become people in disconnection to their own emotions, they're encouraged to be violent or at least not to be "emotional", to the point of not even noticing when they're suffering some kind of violence or from a mental disorder, for example.

This plays a significant role in how we view abuse when perpetrated by women against men but it's not all we need to observe when talking about male DV victims.

Another matter I'd like to point out is the way we view feminine violence: in the Introduction of her best-seller, Lady Killers, Tori Telfer talks about how violence committed by women is often put under one of three categories: the mysticism, the sexualization, or the banalization. That is, socially, we have a habit of thinking about violence perpetrated by women as either mythological, sexy, or just plain silly, and therefore dumb and/or laughable.

Telfer's examples throughout the book are great and I recommend the book for more insight, but to me, three cases stick out to follow as examples:

How the first woman serial killer we have Historical records of, Elizabeth Ridgeway, was killed for being a witch (mysticism);

How Nannie Doss, an old lady who fit all the 50s housewife stereotypes and killed men with poison in her cakes, had her intelligence belittled by people trying to paint her as insane despite many psychiatrical reports of her being exceptionally clever, how she was labeled by the media as "Arsenic Nannie" (banalization)

And finally, how women who perpetrate violence are often sexualized, such as Raya and Sakina, from the beginning of 20th-century Egypt, who were tied closely to the criminal underworld of their neighborhood and who actually developed a method of killing four people with little blood and avoiding messes; or Lizzie Halliday, who was labeled "the worst woman on earth" with clear implications of her ugliness; or at last, Erzsébet Báthory, known more popularly as Countess Dracula despite having been a lot crueler than the name leads you to believe; they were all sexualized one way or another, their crimes fitting their appearances rather than their acts.

What I mean to point out by that is that feminine violence is something we as a society have a tendency to downplay to a dangerous level. Part of that is a result of downplaying violence as a whole, doesn't matter the perpetrator, but a big part of it is because we see violence as a men's trait. Culturally, violence is a characteristic we attribute to men while women are "even-tempered", motherly, nurturing, and delicate.

Those are the traits of femininity. Violence is not something we easily attribute to women, while men can be only violent, domineering, "warriors".

Now, intimate partner violence (IPV) against males and perpetrated by women is significantly overlooked and under-researched. Hell, there was a real and huge doubt whether men could be r*ped at the beginning of the 2000s, and even now there are people who still don't see how men can be sexually abused.

What we do know about IPV is that, according to this article, women and men have roughly the same rate of occurrences of physical abuse against their partners, and in most of the non-reciprocal violent relationships, women were mostly the perpetrators, although it is true that the more violent abuse occurrences are mostly perpetrated by men:

"Archer Reference Archer5 attempted to resolve two competing hypotheses about partner violence, either that it involves a considerable degree of mutual combat or that it generally involves male perpetrators and female victims. His meta-analysis of 82 studies of gender differences in physical aggression between heterosexual partners showed that men were more likely to inflict an injury; 62% of those injured by a partner were women, but men still accounted for a substantial minority of those injured. However, women were slightly more likely than men to use one or more act of physical aggression and to use such acts more frequently. Younger aged couples showed more female-perpetrated aggression."

Again, that's not to say that violence committed against women in our patriarchal society is in any way equivalent to what men suffer as victims of IPV because that's not true. Violence against women is in every corner of our culture, it's in the roots of our society, and violence against men is not as institutional or structural as acts of violence perpetrated against men.

But I have to criticize how we view (or maybe it's best to say how little we view, or even consider) male victims of DV when we're talking about the matter because not only we are then perpetrating patriarchal beliefs that continue to harm us, we're also portraying women as being inherently and perpetually victims of violence, always in a place of perceived inferiority (although I need to point out there is nothing inferior about suffering violence) while men fall under the category of always the perpetrators of that violence.

That's undeniably harmful because it generates a dangerous generalization in individual cases, such as Johnny Depp, for example. Many of the people I saw defending Heard seemed to not comprehend that only because Johnny Depp was in a place of societal power in relation to AH (because he was, as an older, richer man) that wasn't enough of a reason to believe he was guilty of what she accused him of. Just because generally we might rightly point out a systemic oppression of women by men, it doesn't mean that we should apply those principles to individual cases, especially when we don't have access to concrete evidence and in high-profile cases such as Depp v Heard.

Now, after all of that, I need to point out a personal opinion of mine and bear in mind I don't have anything to base myself here so feel free to criticize it if you disagree (just remember to be nice, please): all of these facts make me ask myself how many of those cases of IPV were labeled as "mutual" (because there's actually a pretty fierce discussion on the matter of whether or not mutual abuse exists from what I could find, and mostly of academic research seem to understand that mutual abuse does exist) are actually mutual and not - in case of heterosexual relationships - emotional manipulation on the perpetrator's side.

And that leads me to ask myself how many of the false reports made by women against their male partners (which are the minority of reported DV cases, let's be clear here) were labeled as mutual because the men "fought back"? How many men who were victims of emotional manipulation didn't stay in those relationships or settle cases because of the threat of their female partners reporting them back from abuse as well?

And amongst those people, how many men did actually something that could be considered violent against their partner (talking now about emotional and psychological abuse, excluding the physical aspect for now) in an act of self-defense or instinctual nastiness as a defense mechanism against something that hurt them?

Having been a reactive victim in an emotionally abusive relationship myself, I can say with some ease that I said things that I know for sure truly hurt my abuser, I know I said things in the last days of our relationship that I would never say to other people if I wasn't so defensive right out the beginning of our latest interactions. But I refuse to fall into the trap of believing myself to be an equally abusive part of that relationship because I also know I did the work to try and better our relationship, I know because my other relationships are healthy and close and emotionally vulnerable and the whole circus.

So what I do have to ask myself is that in those IPV cases in heterosexual relationships where our first reaction is to classify them as mutual abuse or something like that... what do we expect from our male victims of IPV? What does the perfect male victim of IPV look like? Is it reasonable for us to expect men not to defend themselves at all because they're generally stronger than women?

Of course, I'm not advocating here that any kind of violence against your partner is okay because they're abusing you to any gender - self-defense has explicit rules to be applied for that exact reason. I'm simply pointing out that maybe we're diving into dangerous territory, or being overly zealous, considering mutual abuse at the maximum, or not believing men at all on the other side of the spectrum, when we're presented with a heterosexual case of IPV where the female was clearly or almost undoubtedly violent throughout the relationship.

That's the many reasons I can think to question people when they are presented with a case of DV of a woman committing abuse against their male partner. Because as much as women are socially oppressed, our biases in regard to gender affect our views of both men and women and can be really dangerous when generally applied to individual cases.

So yeah, I'm not thrilled with our critical skills when it comes to male victims of abuse, loves.

Not at all.

(if you're gonna answer, remember to be nice!)

#dv awareness #domestic violent relationships #jhonny depp #justice for johnny depp #dv survivor #dv tw #dv mention #depp v heard #johnny depp is innocent #johnnydepp #socialist politics #politics #political #social issues #feminism #marxism #political posting #political science #social science

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womenstruation · 1 year ago

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There are many occasions I can remember in my early childhood of not wanting to be Black.

I was four or five, in nursery school. We were being taught to describe ourselves, “you should say whether you’re fair or dark in complexion” the teacher would say. I recognised those words from my story books. Fair was what princess were, dark was what the witches were. I was fair.

My teacher and I would argue over it. She would insist I put down dark, I wouldn’t. I knew I was meant to be fair.

On another occasion, a friend of my mums got a new camera from America. Us children excitedly went to his house to see it. It was silver and sleek and had something I’d never seen before- filters.

You could be purple or black and white or have glasses or hats you weren’t really wearing. You could also be white.

When I saw my pale face in the small screen. I smiled. I was elated. I spoke in the voice I’d heard from Disney and stared for hours at my proper self. I cried when we had to go home that day.

On another occasion, my parents were debating moving to Europe. I must have been around 5 or 6. I begged to go. Going to Europe also meant getting braids. I wanted those tiny ones that you never plaited all the way. In Blonde. Long and straight. In Europe, without the horrid sun, I was sure I would turn white. We didn’t go. I stayed Black.

At ten, for my big double digits, I could finally get a sew in. The hair was straight and long, down to my belly button. When I went to school the next day, everyone said I looked like an American. I cried when I had to take it out.

Eventually I grew older. I knew I was stuck in this Black body. But I could change it. We were ten in secondary school and I made a friend. She told me about this soap and cream. She used to be like me she said but now she was white. I knew I couldn’t ask my parents for this soap so she agreed to sneak me some. Ultimately, I was too scared and so I said no.

When I was eleven, I got my first phone. I delved into the world of social media instantly and learnt of a world outside my own. Even with everything I could try, I couldn’t be white I’d tell myself but maybe I could get close enough. I would scroll through instagram and YouTube and pick women and try my best to act like them, if I couldn’t look like them. I used to go on wikihow and learn how to do their accents.

At thirteen, I discovered social justice. I was thrust into a world of anti racism, of feminism, of gay rights, of trans rights activism. I heard stories of little boys who always wanted to be fairies and little girls who hated having long hair. It felt familiar. I read and read and watched and watched and stopped. I wasn’t happy but I could be.

At fourteen, I stopped relaxing my hair. At fifteen, I joined the Afro-Caribbean society. At sixteen, I called myself pro-Black. At eighteen, I stopped going by my western name. At nineteen, I remembered the five year old me. I read stories and listened to TikToks and scrolled through Twitter and kept seeing her. I wondered how her life would have turned out if she had been allowed to keep being unwell. I cried.

At twenty one, I am proud to be a Black woman.

#radical feminist #feminism #racism #why is transracialism so different #if racial dsyphoria was a thing I know I would have been diagnosed with it #when I was a teenager I read so many memoirs of trans women #I felt scared that I would grow up to be transphobic as that was the worst sin according to the internet people o spoke too #everytime I would relate their stories to how I had been when I was younger #I thought several times about buying bleaching creams and soaps #I relaxed my hair every two weeks without fail and I would beg my mum to straighten it on every important picture #sometimes I cry over the fact that there is no picture of younger me with my natural hair #and yet anytime I try to mention how similar transgenderism is to this people revolt

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purplesurveys · 1 year ago

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1782

What are some of your favorite cities you’ve been to? Bangkok was so much fun that I'm already itching to go back. I was there for 4 days with the most jam-packed, NONSTOP itinerary you can imagine someone having; and yet it still felt like barely scratching the surface of what could have been explored there.

Shanghai was fun too, but you also have to be filthy rich to fully enjoy their offers – for me though it was fun enough to people-watch and try the local McDonald's haha, so I'm still counting it as a favorite.

Would you allow your children to date prior to 16? I did, so it would be hypocritical of me not to allow them. The only thing I'd change is to foster an open, warm environment at home so my kids can share with me what they're up to and ask questions if there's any concerns, because I had to hide my relationship for the entirety of it.

Did you ever go through a phase where you thought guys in bands were ‘hot?’ I guess, but I wasn't super deep into the phase. There was just a brief point where I wanted to date like a drummer, and I didn't even attend small shows in an attempt to catch a band member's eye.

What’s something about adult life you were never warned of or prepared for? How lost everyone is. I thought you'd kind of just figure everything out once you turned a certain age.

Did your parents teach you proper table manners when you were growing up? More my mom than my dad, but yeah. My mom had this brief phase where she kept telling us she'd enroll us in this series of etiquette classes – she never did lmao, but she tried to teach whatever she could when she had the time.

What was the last thing you baked? I've only ever baked chocolate chip cookies and I haven't done that since I was like 14. I don't have the natural skill for it and would much rather support a small business since there are like 593875954 local cookie shops who could do the job so much better anyway.

Do you live more than 5 hours away from the nearest international border? Well if you swam the distance it'd definitely take weeks haha, but as far as I know Taiwan is only a 1.5 hour plane ride away.

Does your town have a farmer’s market? We have markets literally everywhere, it's a focal point of every city. I don't know if a farmer's market holds a different meaning.

What’s the westernmost point you’ve been to? Thailand.

What was the last restaurant you made a reservation at? Blackbird. I haven't stopped thinking about their cheesecake either.

When did you last feel lonely? It's been a while tbh! I like my own company and seldom feel lonely.

Can you easily tell when others are masking their true emotions? Sure, sometimes. I know a few people who are great at being on autopilot that I can't help but think about what they're really feeling or how they're holding up with everything going on around them.

How often do you wash your car? Every couple of weeks.

When did you last lend money to a friend? I don't do that. That's enough of a problem in Filipino society that I simply don't want to be a part of that cycle, whether it's me lending the money or me asking to borrow money.

Which app on your phone do you tend to get the most notifications from? Viber as it's my main line for work.

Do you own a Dutch oven? If so, what was the last thing you cooked in it? I don't think we do.

What is currently on your kitchen table? Just a towel.

What is your favorite time period in history to learn about? Any era pre-World Wars.

How old were you when you met your current best friend? 7.

Have you ever kissed a smoker? Sure.

What is the minimum age to obtain a driver’s license in your state/country? Do you think this is an appropriate age? 18, and yeah that's fair enough to me. Personally I needed it to be 18 because I needed a way to bring myself to and from university and I wasn't willing to commute, so being able to drive immediately after graduating high school was a relief.

If you won the lottery, do you think any of your family members would ask you to give them some of your money? Hypothetically, I think they would be very indirect about it; but in the first place I wouldn't even be saying a word to anyone so that I don't have to worry about people messaging me out of the blue with an agenda in tow.

What is the craziest thing you’ve seen happen at your workplace? Nothing too crazy tbh because we've had a WFH setup ever since I started. It's probably just the office looking like a hoarder's paradise as we often have boxes upon boxes of PR packages populating the area, and it often feels like a warehouse more so than an office.

Do you own any home automation gadgets like wifi thermostats or wifi bulbs? Nothing too high-tech. Our aircon downstairs can be controlled via its phone app but that's it.

What is something you gave up on after many failed attempts? Learning Photoshop.

How old were you when you started to seriously think about what career path you wanted to pursue? Towards the end of college. I had a brief, last-minute crisis where I suddenly wanted to be in law school, but it was happening when things were more or less wrapping up for me in college so I had had to sit myself down and start thinking about what it is I wanted to do.

Eventually I came to the reflection that law school will spit me back out nearly immediately, especially if I'm only thinking about the money; so between that and already hating journalism enough, I decided to take up PR and comms.

Have you ever disliked a book so much that you didn’t finish it? Yes. Maybe not dislike, but I was just so bored of the book that I didn't bother reading through the rest anymore.

Would you rather read a book, or listen to the audiobook? I'd rather read the book. I did download an audiobook recently – and it's my first audiobook too! – but I only did it because it would be impossible to find a physical copy of the book where I'm from.

Do you think tomorrow will be a better day than today? Not in the slightest.

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the-firebird69 · 5 months ago

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These people are ridiculous they have one person who's normal from the other side and a few other people and they are screaming their plan of what they plan to do to people screaming it inside their houses outside their houses they are making complete mockery of their kind we're gonna go pick them up as he says they're identifying themselves like crazy and we only need it once and we should be after them until we get them now I see what he saying

- Is pseudo empire people are arrogant as hell they think they have all the tricks and all the savvy and all this crap and they they don't know what damn thing I heard the max the max proper telling them your boss there knows what he's doing and you don't and we have to fire you so after about 5 minutes of talking they said you better probably do that he's taking advantage of us because we're abusive because of you and they said you know what to tell him everything because you're getting pushed around and you guys push each other out all the time and regardless of your situation you're disgusting losers you had everything and you fluid and when you were doing it when you had everything you were blowing it there's nothing we can do with you they said. They managed to do this on purpose but these people are very sacrilegious and suicidal often the max made too many and Daniel made a point of telling him it's your responsibility it's your fault you made so many of us nobody can control them. And then we lose it. Perfectly everybody here loses it including your people it's not a nice place everybody's going bankrupt blaming each other and I'll tell you what he said this we screwed up but we couldn't handle we couldn't hold him at work there's always a million problems everybody had their own take and the outside pressure was intense and now you're looking at us like we're to blame so the guy didn't laugh he said you're **** stupid you think we don't know what your plan is everybody does who's normal and you're gonna die and they hung up the phone there on the radio more or less it was like a teleconference. I'm gonna go to The Hague and say it's illegal to have a plan where you eat people to take over and in no way you justified by doing that it's something you do to spy and it is extremely illegal whether it's an abusive society or not and it's apparently it was not that abusive on you for the past 100 years you prospered and you grew we have something to say what else we'd like to say is you're exposing yourselves left and right and you don't have the power to back it up you're dwindling very fast now you want to blow everyone up because you screwed up more or less on purpose because you wanted to do what you're doing now and tell everybody off and try and have them believe you because you're sitting there repeating the same thing like little kid and disappearing and who cares what they say back we want them to know that they're gonna be extinct soon we're planning to hit them with her own idea and everybody is we want these stinkers out of here and they refuse to leave so I think that they can hold you ransom to put devices in and they hardly can get any here so it doesn't make sense we're going to have to get rid of them for safety as reasons. It was the last straw that's not a mac get frustrated and angry and he said I hope he puts that stupid little screwdriver in there and he's looking forward now that was a pain in the **** he says my son says it sure was we've got done he's laughing 'cause it it's like work for him so these things suck OK but these people do sucks how they treat him sucks but they're always saying sucks and what they do for him is terrible and what he can do is amazing and people want that who are civilized and have half a brain. Even the mutants have had it with these people it's not really surprising they're meant to be warriors they like weapons they like towing with weapons they like assignments and they're getting assignments and they're going after these pussies

We're tired of hearing your viewpoints on life your sick of life anyways and you don't like it you don't have the willpower to live and you wanna hurt other people you have no right to do that because you're a shallow piece of nothing BJA and we're gonna take you out shortly.

Thor Freya

Olympus

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survey--s · 2 years ago

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458.

Have you ever had a dream that your teeth were falling out? No, I don't think so.

Do you have a fence? No, our garden is walled.

Do you think that in the end, everything will fall into place? No. I mean, it's a nice idea but it's definitely not something based in reality.

When was the last time you went bowling? When we went to Blackpool which is over six years ago now.

Who was the last person you disappointed? Maybe a customer when I said I couldn't fit her in for an hour on a day they needed. I offered her regular slots and she said no so they went to someone else, but now she wants the slots she turned down every week lol.

Would you ever get a significant other’s name tattooed on yourself? No, even though Mike has my initials tattooed on his wrist.

Name one unpopular opinion of yours: Religion is incredibly dangerous.

Has the person you like ever made you upset? Of course. I think that's pretty normal in a long-term relationship.

What is one thing people automatically notice about you? The fact that I wear glasses.

Does anyone know your deepest darkest secret? I don't really have a deep dark secret.

If you were getting unwanted attention by some creeper, would the person you like stand up for you? Yes.

Favorite kind of soda? Pepsi Max.

Are you closer to your mother or father? My mum, for sure. I barely ever speak to my dad.

Are you afraid of the dark? No.

What’s your favorite shape? Circles.

How social are you? I'm very unsocial, lol. Don't get me wrong, I like going out occasionally and I'm happy to talk if people talk to me, but generally I much prefer my own company.

What’s your favorite primary color? Red.

Do you like hot chocolate? Not the cheap, powdered stuff, but proper Italian hot chocolate tastes absolutely amazing.

What do you have pierced? Earlobes x 3, right cartilage, nose and belly button. I used to have a lot more but they've all closed up over the years. I had 2-3 other cartilage piercings in both ears plus my tragus on my right ear too.

What’s your favorite type of tea? Earl Grey, Yorkshire tea or Green tea with lemon.

Who are you subscribed to on YouTube? Just loads of channels that upload TV shows I can't find anywhere else.

What’s your favorite thing about the winter? Snow days, Christmas, my birthday, having two weeks off work.

What motivates you? I guess money, as money brings you choices and freedom.

Would you rather have a hot tub or a pool? A hot tub as I think we'd get more use out of it. Maybe one of those swim spas that double as a hot tub.

What’s your favorite Yankee Candle scent? I hate Yankee Candles but my favourite candle scents are things like vanilla, baked goods and gingerbead.

Would you rather learn how to play the ukulele or guitar? I can already play guitar.

If you are up after 3 am, what are you most likely doing? Reading my phone in bed as I can't sleep. Would you ever keep your favorite animal as a pet? We have a dog and three cats. I wouldn't want to keep any of my favourite exotic animals as pets.

What are your thoughts and feelings towards work/jobs in general? They're a normal part of life. Society wouldn't function if nobody worked, but I'm not a fan of the whole idea that everyone should work Monday-Friday, 9-5 in an office somewhere.

Do you believe in astrology? No.

What is something that you’ve made/created? Do you take pride in your creations? I'm not really a very creative person in that respect.

Do you have any cultural or family traditions that you know are uncommon in the area that you reside in currently? Nope.

What are you grandparents' names? I'm not sharing that on here as my grandparents have very unique names.

Have you ever been bitten by a dog? Yes, twice.

The last time you got blood drawn, what was the reason? To check my hormone as I was having major issues with my periods.

Where are you, exactly, right now? On the sofa in the living room, at home. Toby is sitting to my left, Layla is on the coffee table and Purrlock is under the table and they're all staring at me as they want feeding an hour early LOL.

What is your relation to the last child you spoke to? He's the son of one of my clients. He's called Max and he's adorable.

Are you scared to look at your own organs on x-ray or ultrasound? Nope.

Have you ever walked on a frozen lake/river? Yeah, in Canada when we went to Lake Louise. I'd never do it in the UK though as it never really gets cold enough for things to properly freeze.

Have you ever seen a volcano? Yeah, Etna and Vesuvius, plus a couple of others I can't remember the names of.

Have you ever met an Alaskan? I don’t think so.

Describe how you’ve broken a bone, if you have. I've never broken a bone before.

Choose 5 friends, and briefly describe their relationship status. Susie - in a long-term relationship. Jade - in a long-distance marriage. Suzanne - married with a child. Karla - married with two children.. Nathan - engaged with two step-children and a child.

Describe the last situation in which you found yourself feeling awkward. I honestly don't remember.

Do you have a neighbor you'd like to get to know more? No, not really. Maybe Jade if she counts.

If you're female, would you rather be called a girl, woman, gal, chick, b*tch, or lady? I just want to be called by my name.

What magazines did you like to read as a teenager? Just 17, Mizz, Teen Vogue, ElleGirl.

Did you use Lisa Frank folders in school when you were younger? No, it wasn't really much of a thing here.

Do you watch any doctors' channels on YouTube? I watch some of those spot squeezing videos lol.

Have you ever lived in a house that was on a street corner? No.

What’s your favorite app? Instagram is probably the one I used the most.

Do you want any tattoos? I have one and I'll probably get more one day, but I have no real desire to get one anytime soon.

What is the saddest song you’ve ever heard? Tears in Heaven by Eric Clapton.

Are you afraid of snakes? Not really, but we don't have any dangerous ones here really, except Adders but they're really rare.

Which “famous couple” is your favorite? Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds. What’s your favorite love song? I don't really have one.

How important is it to make a relationship official (p.e. on Facebook)? Not important at all, really. Are you the “dominant” or the “submissive” part in a relationship? Dominant.

What career do you want? I'm happy with what I do at the moment - working with animals.

What about having kids? Bleurgh, no thank you.

Do you think you’ll marry your current significant other? We are married.

How did your first serious breakup go? It was horrible at the time but looking back it was very normal.

[TW: SELF-HARM] Have you ever cut yourself? Yeah.

The first time you dumped someone, was it hard? Yes, but it was easier than being dumped.

Do you regret who you lost your virginity to? No.

Do you watch WWE Raw? Nope.

Do you dye your hair? I used to do it regularly but I don't think I've dyed it since lockdown.

Which of your parents will you see next? My mum's coming up at some point next week.

Have you ever been hospitalized? Yes, twice overnight.

Do you make fun of obese people? No.

Do you eat when you’re upset? Sometimes. I either eat loads or nothing when I'm upset lol.

One word to describe your most recent ex? Liar.

Fried, poached, boiled or scrambled eggs? Poached.

Where, in your current country, would you like to live, other than where you do now? Maybe somewhere like Cornwall.

Where wouldn’t you want to live? Doncaster.

Name three things that are overrated: Meh, it's all just personal opinion.

List four things about your facial appearance: I wear glasses, I have a tiny birthmark on my chin, I have my nose pierced and I currently have a spot on my chin too.

List four things about your general appearance: I have curly hair, I'm taller than average, I have a tattoo on my back and I never really wear make-up.

What was the last thing that made you laugh out loud? Something the cat was doing.

How many weddings have you ever been to? Just my own.

Would you ever wear real authentic leather? Yeah. I own a leather jacket and leather shoes.

How old are your parents? My dad is 67 and my mum is 63. They both have their birthdays in June as well.

What song is stuck in your head at the moment? Nothing at the moment.

What’s your boss’s first name? Do you call him/her by that name? I don't have a boss these days, but when I did, we always used first names.

#survey #surveys

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xo-boudless · 2 years ago

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Dec 7 2022 (1)

You want to drug me up more don't you? Thats your only goal. I talk more, I want to talk about what I want to talk about and you run to the psychiatrist complaining and psycho gives me more meds to take. All because you were complaining about something that I said. You didn't like what I said. I can't talk to you unless you're able to shove more meds down my throat. You're a sick...

I f*cking hate you

You swear you're doing the best you can for me.

Well I've had jobs fail me.

I've looked at the end and kept going.

You wouldn't suggest?

You just want me on more meds.

You're not here for me.

You're here for a science experiment.

Let me tell you I'm tired of it.

I'm just trying to find someone that has it all down right. Because I don't and anybody I reach out to doesn't. Ryan's got evictions just like me. Mahnoor still can't pay for her own apartment just like me. But at least she has one to stay in. And all she has to do is talk. So I'll talk. I'm going to talk. Because whenever I do I get more meds shoved down my throat. This isn't a life I wanted to live. And I swear to God, if you don't let me talk without suggesting I need more medication we're going to have problems. I'm educated. I have etiquette. But that doesn't mean you get to disrespect me. I'm writing to lo-fi. So understand me. How about you take your education.

So they hate us because we have powers. They hate us if we talk about them but it's a story and who doesn't want to listen to a good story. Until they shove meds down my throat. I hope you see the lies they're spewing. And if the wrong person sees this, they will add more meds to my prescription.

"Abram, why would they prescribe more if you're just expressing yourself? How do we know who's right and wrong? How are we, the people, supposed to know who's side to take on this matter? Because we hear that you've been going crazy. We hear that you went missing..."

That was a joke. You can hear the laughter. I write notes.

You get it?

"Abram. How are we supposed to know who's side to take? Because isn't the police the good guys?"

That was a joke. Here's the real news. You know the police are the bad guys right? Wait but you're going to start guessing aren't you. You're going to start saying that they must be the good guys. Abram you're just hallucinating, are you on drugs.

That was a joke. Let's clear this up. Drugs are what doctors give.

Green is what I sell. They also call it ganja, weed, cannabis, I can't express the love I have for it. But let me show proper etiquette.

"If I say marijuana is good for everyone I must be lying." Because Magda my mother would start a fight if I said otherwise. I Randi away from home. Scratch that you planned it.

Here's the real story. I got dosed up on drugs. P.s. drugs make you homeless.

See, we're going to talk about homelessness a lot because there are drugs in this society. It has the power to make you go homeless. You'll be running the same rat race everyone else is running if you take it obediently. It's rat poison. Did I mention

I was that kid on high street. Getting high. I mean it high! You'd question what I'm talking about. Well I don't want you to. Because when they take me, there's no questions.

"Abram you're going to come with us. You're not in trouble or anything..."

I got arrested.

And one of them they made me scream through it! I'm super frustrated. You're too fast for me. Like too fast. Like you're not even trying.

I don't practice, I just write.

When I'm on drugs I'm super faded I'm highly famous

"She's just going to want you to be on more drugs. Make sure she doesn't see this. Or else I won't be able to talk to you again. You know who this is. I'll always be on your side no matter what."

We don't have those. A friend that's down for it. That's down through it. That's always on your side and isn't sitting on the phone talking about "I think you should go to therapy. Let's call them classes."

You don't know what therapy means! I got arrested. And you say I don't call till shit hits the fan. Shit hit my fan.

What else am I supposed to say!

This isn't your typical story of someone that wants to take drugs. This isn't your typical "I want to go see a psychiatrist." F*ck them. Do you realize what this is yet?

I got sent to jail. They call it a mental hospital!

I write like this like everyday. It's a nice break in the day. So I don't know why you're saying I'm trying because really all I'm doing is typing. You broke me!

Now why can't you read this like you're reading lyrics or something. Why do you have to call the police? Oh wait. I'm explaining that for you, to you, because you don't even get why you're doing it.

You're fake and they're playing you.

You're their puppet. And I'm not going to sit here and watch another show! I'm tired of it. I told them to go build brick houses. Anna would agree with me.

"I don't care what I say." In German.

German girls are really pretty.

You don't get it. I live for those moments when we're all chilling. You don't get it. I have to make it real for you. I have to show you the full view. All 360 of it!

You don't get it. I don't get it too. I have powers. But you don't get it. They treat me like a Jew!

"Ok. Ok. Properly now."

I get censored. It's the police. You don't get it. I was at guilden street fighting them. I got caught. And now I have to pay. And you know what paying means right? Nights in some other bed.

"This can take a week, or a month. It's up to you."

That's what they always say. And it's happened to me six or seven times. Make it six. Six's all over me. Nike check on my wrist.

"See, Ryan you wouldn't believe me. I can't really say anything. And I don't want to have conversations like I'm in therapy. I want to have a conversation with you while we're headed to new York and I feel too sick to explain to you that I lost another job. I don't have to explain it like that anymore. Because now I know that what I'm doing is proper. Hold on the prisoner guard is coming..."

They're handing out rations today. I was able to work for a little and made a little money. I was saving up to buy a car. But I'll leave that to oxilien. I have this idea. Listen to this. I'll buy a car and then sell it on craigslist immediately after I get it.

I dealt with twenty three hundred in cash every week or two. I've talked deals that had to do with pounds.

But I can't talk to you about it. Because of what I paid for it.

"Like you see Kirsten? See how she lives in a car. She went homeless. Think of it like this, they gave her a choice between jail or live in a car. She's in jail just a different way! Why can't you see what's happening right in front of you? They sent her to jail!"

If you're living on the streets, that's a form of jail.

"There are different forms of jail. It won't all look the same. To put a person in jail takes a lot of time and effort. They typically put people that can't work in jail. It's not that they can't work it's that the jobs that provided are inhumane. In other words the jobs that are available aren't for humans. If you force a human being to work these jobs you can hurt them severely. Jail is for the ones that can't do it. The ones that can't work an unrealistic forty-hour work week. Or in other words it's for humans."

Think about what jail is about. It's so wrong that you have to start thinking real twisted to get what's being said.

0 notes

rinphoria · 3 years ago

Note

hi baby! firstly, congratulations on your milestone <3 secondly, may I please get pro heroes + childhood lovers?

the wheel chose…

childhood lovers + hawks!

japan’s #2 hero off the market? telling photograph raises questions.

you snorted at the headline. the picture included was barely enough to work from, keigo only recognizable because of his massive, red wings, the other face in the frame indiscernible due to the angle. you were sure if another flashy hero was sitting across from him at that restaurant, the paparazzi wouldn’t even consider stopping to snap a photo. so this is news worthy or reporting, huh?

“what are you doing?” keigo asked, plopping down beside you. the scent of toothpaste and aftershave drifted behind him into the living room.

“just reading about how the most eligible bachelor of hero society has settled down,” you informed him, locking your phone and tossing it onto the couch cushion. you turned to him with a smirk. “it’s all speculation, of course. that person he was having lunch with might have just been a friend. or a work colleague. the world may never know.”

“you’re funny,” he chuckled at your sarcasm.

“i like to think so.” you crawled into his lap, careful to avoid his wings as you straddled him. “but i’m sure there was a better way we could have went about this. there are probably journalists lined up, pens out at the ready, eager to hear all the juicy details about us.”

“they don’t need details.” he placed his palms on your hips, giving them a gentle squeeze. his golden eyes peered up at you through thick lashes. “all they need to know is that i’m in—and have been in—a serious and committed relationship.”

you could practically see the happiness in his eyes. he seemed a lot brighter now that he was able to openly talk about you as his partner. this aspect of your lives had been kept private since keigo started gaining popularity and rising the ranks as a hero. both of you thought it was better that way, safer. you never realized how much it bothered him until he brought it up to you a couple weeks ago. announcing your relationship to the public would come with its own set of challenges, but you were sure that they’d be nothing you and keigo wouldn’t be able to handle.

“well, now they know.” you bumped your nose against his. “so then, hawks, what are your plans now that you’ve gone public with your partner? inquiring minds want to know.”

he rolled his eyes at your antics, but eventually played along with the silly fake interview. “the first thing to cross off the list is taking them on a proper date. i don’t think making mud pies or eating soggy french fries from the diner qualify as romantic. they certainly aren’t worthy of my other half.”

“for your information, i loved those dates.” you leaned down to press your lips against his, pulling away with a smile on your face and a sparkle in your eye. “but, i’m looking forward to this new chapter of ours.”

han’s mystery match event is closed!

#milestone.celebration #keigo takami #keigo takami x reader #keigo x reader #hawks x reader #mha x reader #bnha x reader #hawks fluff #mha fluff #bnha fluff #hawks scenarios #mha scenarios #bnha scenarios #hawks drabble #mha drabbles #bnha drabble #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #anime

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bokutoslittlebird · 4 years ago

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The Perfect Family

Alpha!Bokuto x Beta!reader x Beta!Akaashi

Author’s Note : If you’ve read the little drabbles and asks with the fluffy BokuAka family, then you’re in for a surprise. Those were not canon to the actual works I created, it was just something nice to write and think about. This will not start off fluffy at all. This will also include the pregnancy process, so be warned of that ; This is a sequel to my Kinktober piece, Threesome with Bokuto and Akaashi ; I’m so sorry it took for fucking ever

Warnings: Omegaverse, noncon/dubcon (explicit use of the word r*pe), gun play, choking, water torture (attempted drowning), gaslighting, manipulation, watersports (briefly, kind of), mindbreak, dumbification, pregnancy, creampie(s), asphyxiation, lactation, knotting, breeding (technically), degradation

Kōtarō’s rut had finally ended, pumping you full and fucking you into a stupor, all while Keiji made sure to have him give you a break. It was the week for you and Kōtarō to catch up, after all. You were bonded to Kōtarō and Keiji now, you were their mate, so you had to be taken care of. With the stinging pain on your shoulder from Kōtarō’s mark, you were only missing the legal document to bind you to Keiji the normal, Beta way. Keiji was currently thinking about which ring to get you, since Kōtarō had already decided on his “proposal” gift. Keiji figured you’d need time to adjust, however, as he was laying on the couch with Kōtarō’s arms wrapped around him, you missing. There was a cute show that they were watching, Keiji was sure you’d like it. You weren’t allowed out of the bedroom yet, so he would have to show it to you another time.

Once Kōtarō had been satisfied and Keiji had recovered, both got to work on making your stay permanent. You attempted to leave, but Keiji was quick to cuff you. Kōtarō held you down, forcing you to struggle until there was nothing left to do except lay there. Kōtarō had to go back to Osaka soon, so he was trying to enjoy his last few days in Tokyo.

“That was a fun show. Cute, too,” his yawning interrupted his sentence, cutting it short. Keiji nodded in response, snuggling closer to Kōtarō. The Alpha was warm and comfortable, it gave him a sense of home. “I gotta go back tomorrow, Akaashi,”

“I know, Bokuto-san,” Keiji sighs, knowing he’d have to work on their new pet by themselves. It was going to be a struggle. At the beginning of the week, you were so pliant and easily coerced into things. Now, you wouldn’t look or talk to them. Kōtarō threw a fit yesterday, screaming and crying because you weren’t the same person, you were much more distant. It’s the same when it comes to Keiji, however. You only looked at him with betrayal and sadness, even then only looking at him briefly. You exhausted yourself, but you were fighting them. Distancing yourself and giving them the silent treatment. It made Kōtarō not want to leave, you being so upset at him, but he didn’t have a choice.

Kōtarō needed to find a new place for everyone to live, of course. With the high probability of you becoming pregnant, you couldn’t be living in Tokyo, hours away from your alpha. Knowing you would be carrying his pups without him around had Kōtarō growling, Keiji gently patting his arm. Kōtarō calmed down at that, indulging in the calming scent of Keiji. Keiji has already been bonded to him, so it wouldn’t be as stressful if he wasn’t bonded — you were both his mates and therefore, you could be trusted in Keiji’s care. It was still hard to go. He didn’t want to leave with the state you were in.

“What place were you thinking about?” Keiji mused, running his finger in a pattern on Kōtarō’s arm. Just something to do as he mentally planned for the upcoming weeks. The type of house would determine how long those weeks would be.

“Some place big, but close by the gym and practice gym. Maybe traditional? I’ve always wanted to live in a traditional, zen kind of house,” Kōtarō’s eyes lit up as he talked, images and scenes of a large house full of his lovers and his children, playing volleyball in the yard. Keiji smiles at that, knowing it would be at least a month. Enough time to have you positively pregnant and to get you settled into your new role. It’d take effort, of course it would, but he could do it.

“I think that’s a wonderful idea, Bokuto-san,”

“Ya know, we really gotta get used to calling each other by our given names. You’re gonna be a Bokuto, aren’t’cha?”

“Well, of course I am. Just like [Y/N]. We’ll be the Bokuto family,” he sighs, closing his eyes as the name settles in his mind. The Bokuto family has a nice ring to it, he thinks.

Kōtarō spends his last night cuddling you to sleep. You want no part of it, lying stiff as a board as he presses kisses to your neck and rubs his hand over your stomach. It’s a sickening thought, the possibility of getting pregnant. If you really had been ovulating during the rut, you most likely were pregnant. It’s not like you’d know or not, you barely leave the bed to urinate. It’s disgusting to have to deal with, but even when you do get the bathe and do your business, Keiji is right next to you, ready to intervene if necessary. Although Kōtarō is often in there with you, lathering up your body as his touches become less innocent, Keiji’s stone-cold gaze forces you to not attempt anything silly.

When the morning comes, Kōtarō is desperate to keep something of yours until he can see you again. In order to keep him happy, you acquiesce to his demands and let him take your used clothes, yet to be washed. As if the lingering scent of the morning sex isn’t still clinging to his skin. You can’t smell it, nor Keiji, but you know it’s there as you watch him dress himself, tucking himself away as he rambles on about his plans for the future. Three kids for him, two for Keiji, a nice big house, just the ideal lifestyle for anyone. It’ll never happen, though. His delusions will soon shatter when you stay distant and refuse to love him or Keiji.

Keiji waves goodbye to you, saying he’ll come back when he’s done with work. He plans on taking Kōtarō to the train station and then going to work, so you’ll be stuck for the next few hours. Until dinner time, that is. After an hour, you hear a ping from your phone and reach over to look at it. You can still use your phone, of course, but any possibility of calling for help is useless. In this society, nobody would help you. Not only that, your phone is bugged and linked to Keiji’s. He knows when you unlock your phone, what you do at what time, and how long you’re on it. You’re almost positive he can shut it off if he wants to.

The noise is a message from Kōtarō, telling you he misses you already. A roll of the eyes as you lock it, setting it beside you again. You’re able to barely reach the table beside the bed, but none of the drawers. One hand is secured to the headboard, wooden and strong enough to withstand Kōtarō’s ruthless rut. You feel restless as the day has only begun, the next time you will be able to move out of the bed, if at all, will be when Keiji comes home.

The doorknob to the apartment jiggles, making you jump. Keiji should’ve gone to work, so the sudden noise was unexpected. When it finally turns, you expect to see the familiar hair of your former friend, the tousled raven hair and the broad build. Although the man has the proper stature, the hoodie covering his head and the cheap-looking mask covering his face prevent you from properly identifying him. You can’t tell if he’s smirking or not, the intense feeling that he’s giving off tells you he is. With your hand secured to the bed, you really don’t have much in the way of options. The phone is still an option, but you doubt you could get to it in time.

The man lunges towards you, spurring you to attempt to grab the phone. Your fingers brush the metal device before your arm is forcefully gripped and twisted. You scream as your body twists, attempting to lessen the pain. It’s useless, but you still try. When your mouth opens, he quickly shoves something round and hard in it, your tongue pressed against the barrel of the gun.

“Don’t move a muscle,” his voice was low and hoarse, as if he was adjusting it to hide his identity. It was still unfamiliar to you, your brain unable to register what was going on. The man easily overpowers you, using his weight to keep you pinned to the bed. Fear prickles your skin, the chill setting in deep into your bones despite the lingering warmth of the fading Summer heat. It’s a horrible feeling, frozen in fear as your mind races, unable to do anything except stay still. It’s horrible, the fact you listen to the stranger’s demands despite wishing you were dead and out of Kōtarō and Keiji’s grasps. The gun is removed from your mouth, but the knowledge of it being in his possession is enough to keep you compliant, barely acknowledging the man’s hands moving to slip under the dress you were kindly given.

To keep yourself ready and easily accessible to both Keiji and Kōtarō until they had to part, it was best to slip you into a plain and simple white sundress. It was a present from Kōtarō, a small way of saying you were his now. With the lack of panties or other undergarment, you were essentially naked to the intruder as he sat on his heels, dark eyes scanning over your form. You were shaking from the fear, the unknown, but you weren’t attempting to move or thrash about. It was so easy to take advantage of you, you already nice and wet for him, too. The slick buildup from the morning session with Kōtarō lingers, as well as the creamy substance of his seed fucked into you. Unless the intruder was an Alpha, he couldn’t do much damage, but the thought of leaving you alone without a touch, a taste, was too unbearable.

It didn’t take long for the feeling of something hard and thick to push against your folds, collecting slick and teasing, your sensitivity making you whimper at the touch. It was a sudden plunge, forcing himself deep into your cunt as he groaned, your walls clenching around him. You thought the groan sounded familiar, but there was no more time to think on it when he put his hand on your throat, effectively shutting off proper access to your lungs. Your walls tighten again around him, him finding it hard to retract his hips but thrusting back in. His pace isn’t too fast, but his thrusts are brutal as he continues to drive his cock into your sensitive and abused pussy. He’s not an Alpha, you can tell by the lack of an inflating knot, but it still remains that you’re being violated by an unknown man. The whimpers coming from your throat are all you can release, barely sucking in air to stay conscious. When your vision starts to fade, the man and the walls of the room slowly blurring together, you start to panic.

The gun is still beside you, but it’s not your concern. The bullet in the chamber can’t threaten you unless the barrel’s against your head, but the hand currently cutting off oxygen is threatening your life. Attempting to dig your nails into the fabric of the hoodie is useless, his work gloves keeping his hands from getting any marks, either. Your lungs burn from lack of air and your vision slowly fades to black, a heat and chill settling over your body at the same time as you continue to feel his body pinning you down. The brutal fucking is the only sensation you still have, the stinging of your skin as he snaps his hips to meet yours and the squelching sounds from your sloppy pussy, cum and slick spurting and coating his cock as he chases his own high. You don’t know if he finished inside, your sensations dying out as you slip into unconsciousness.

When you wake up, your lungs ache and your face feels wet. When you flutter your eyes open, you’re faced with the creamy beige walls of Keiji’s bedroom, the lamp and phone on the bedside table. A presence is beside you, a large hand gently brushing your hair. Your eyes widen as you jolt, Keiji gently shushing you as he holds you. It’s comforting, someone familiar beside you after the experience you just had. You don’t know what happened after everything went black, but the smell of Keiji’s morning coffee and his cologne calm you down, tears spilling out as your fists bunch up the fabric of his shirt.

“I had a bad feeling, so I immediately came back home. I didn’t expect you to be completely unconscious, what did you do?” He asked, oblivious to what had really transpired. It was painful to recall, the fear from before rising again as you remember the man’s stature, looming over you as he pinned you to the bed. Another fit of tears come, the droplets soaking the white of Keiji’s shirt. “Darling, you need to tell me what’s wrong. What-“

“A stranger,” a hiccup interrupted you, red and tired eyes looking to his face. He looks confused, so you need to press on. “He broke in. Violated me. He— he ra-“

“Oh, sweetheart, I’m so sorry. If I had known something so horrible would happen, I wouldn’t have left you all alone. You could’ve come with me, but you’ve been so naughty, you know,” his voice is gentle, but there’s a certain chill in his voice that has your fear spiking. His hands are warm, caressing your back as he speaks. “But, you know, you cheated on Bokuto-san and I. I have to punish you,”

“I— I didn’t do it on purpose!” Why were you defending yourself? Your mind had to momentarily adjust itself, the feeling of helplessness from earlier now back. Once the cuff had released the headboard, it was nothing for Keiji to force you into the bathroom. No amount of strength you had could compare to him, nor height. He wasn’t afraid to hurt you either, almost smashing your fingers in the door frame because you wouldn’t let go. “Akaashi, stop!!”

“Akaashi? Now, we can’t have that. You should address me properly, dear,” he grips your face, smushing your cheeks together as you find yourself practically flung into the tub. It’s already full of hot water, almost scalding, as he holds your head under. Struggling once more, it’s futile. His strength far surpasses yours, stature looming over you. Under the water, his image is distorted, but the way he looks down at you feels familiar. Before that thought can continue, you feel your lungs burning as you thrash again, thoughts only focused on surviving. When your head is pulled up, you gulp air as you cough, water sputtering as you do. “You need to be punished.”

“Let me go, I didn’t do anythi-“ your head is once more under the water, nails digging into the flesh of Keiji’s arms as he holds you still. You didn’t get a good gulp of air, so you’re quickly back at the previous feeling of helplessness as your lungs burn, vision blurring. Before everything goes black, you’re once more pulled from the water. Your face is hot, either from lack of air or the heat of the bathroom and water, you’re not too sure. But Keiji is sure of one thing and that’s the way you’re clinging to him. You were digging your nails into him, squirming and attempting to leave, but now your nails were digging into his as your grip tightened around his forearm. You were clinging to him, unconsciously seeing him as your savior, as he was the one who controlled your ability to breathe, therefore your life. He could drown you if he wanted to, but Kōtarō wouldn’t like that. No, he just needed you to depend on him, change your stance on how you saw your lovers.

Keiji also couldn’t help how delicious you looked, drenched as steam rose from the water, your white dress floating around you as if you were an ethereal being. You looked angelic and untainted... an urge to corrupt you washed over him, compelling his body into the steaming water. It was a tight fit, but he managed. With his sweatpants on, it was easy for him to simply push down the waistband and pull out his cock. “Now I have to cover up that man’s scent, or do you want everyone to know you’re a whore?”

“Akaashi, enough, this isn’t any diff-“

“Are you saying I’m a rapist? That’s what you’re implying, right? If you really think that, then I’ll be that. I would never purposefully hurt you,” his words contradict his actions, his hard cock pressing into your walls as he speaks. Sensitivity still lingers, your legs twitching as he sinks down to the hilt. “You’re saying I’m the bad guy, aren’t you? Well, how about I be the bad guy? Let’s recreate the scenario,”

“Akaashi, please, stop!” You cry out, weak limbs attempting to push him off. Hot, fat tears stream down your cheeks as Keiji licks them away, kissing their trails as you continue to sob at the feeling. It was a horrible feeling, being helpless, but a part of you knew you were safe. Keiji wouldn’t let you die, the only thing that prevented you from putting more effort in. Even with the splashing water, he kept one hand on the back of your head to prevent you from going under. Keiji’s pace is always the same — slow strokes, but deep and meaningful as he rocks his hips into yours and makes sure to roll his hips. It’s a completely opposite of Kōtarō’s, brutal and relentless, but Kōtarō fils you out more. Keiji has to make sure you feel every ridge, every vein, every pulse from his cock and have it completely engraved into your mind.

When Keiji gets close, he holds you closer to him, kissing your neck as your hands grasp at the tub’s edges, mind reeling from the force of your orgasms. Your nerves are on fire, your walls constantly clamping around Keiji’s cock like a vice, all while he rides out his own high. He presses a sweet kiss to the mark on your neck, where it meets your shoulder, right where he sports a matching mark on his own skin. It’s Kōtarō’s bond, what links him to the two of you forever. With a final thrust, Keiji spills deep inside you as he kisses you deeply, forcing you to swallow his moan of pleasure as he swallows your mewls. You’re still tight around him, walls fluttering pathetically around his girth as he relishes in the way you feel, keeping his seed locked inside you.

When he breaks the kiss, you’re both panting heavily, chests heaving for different reasons. “There. Now he’s gone,” a gentle kiss on your temple. With those words, a silence settles over the room. Although the stranger may be gone, in his place stands Akaashi Keiji.

The next day, Keiji is home.

“Just a precaution, dear,” he had said. “So nothing else bad will happen to you when I’m not here. You wouldn’t want that, would you?” With those words, he convinced you of his intentions. The previous day’s events had you rattled, the fear of being alone subconsciously rooted into your mind. A small whimper of Keiji’s name, his given name, had him smiling and cooing at you, taking you anywhere in the apartment you wanted to go. It was nice to finally leave the bedroom and bathroom sections, seeing the front room and kitchen, able to hear and see people outside the windows. You dare not let your eyes linger too long on the windows, covered completely with only shadows passing by, nor on the door. The door which had a recently newly installed lock, to take extra precautions. A passing thought of how it seemed to be so quickly enforced comes by, leaving as you become hyper aware of the blank gaze Keiji gives you. It’s not blank, per se. It looks blank to many bystanders, but to you, you know he’s focusing. He’s watching you and analyzing what you do. It’s a test.

A test you seem to have passed, when he calls you back for a bath. He doesn’t guide you there, no threats, just a simple “Come along,” as he walks towards the same bathroom he almost drowned and violated you in. The fear and anxiety of going back has your flight or fight response kicking in, the seemingly easy option of flinging the door open and leaving has your legs moving. But Keiji is quicker, stronger, and smarter than you. Before your fingertips can even graze the lock, your face is slammed into the floor.

“You were doing so well, too,” his feet are planted on either side of you, one moving to plant itself on your back. With a bit of force, you’re screaming as he has his heel pushing into your spine. “You deserve to be punished.”

“Fuck you, Akaashi!” You spit, squirming and wriggling to get him off. When his foot moves, you attempt to get up, but soon he drops down and fists your hair in one hand, the other pushing your cheeks together.

“I should wash that dirty mouth of yours,” he growls, shoving your face against the floor. By shoving, he essentially drops you into the floor. With a burning sensation in your nose, you feel a vaguely familiar liquid trickling out, a small red dot beneath you. He does it once more, making sure to keep his hand on your head to prevent you from getting up. “I trusted you to listen to me, [Y/N],”

“I’ll never listen to you,” you declare, hands balling into fists beside you. “I’ll never forgive you and Bokuto for what you did. I’ll never forgive or forget how you raped me, either!”

“I did no such thing. You enjoyed it, whore. You clamped around me like a vice last night, just as you probably did the stranger that violated you. Can it be consider violation if you were wet? What about when you started to enjoy it?”

“How would you know that, unless-“

“I know how much of a slut you can be, sleeping around with Alphas in high school and other Betas. You probably got off on being raped,” He sneers, putting more force in his hand, making it uncomfortable as your cheek is smushed against the floor.

“Fuck you,”

“I’ll take that as a yes. As a punishment, you won’t be leaving that bedroom for some time,” he finally lets you free, a large breath of air inhaled as you realize he was putting his weight on your lungs. “Come here,”

Wrenched from the ground, you find yourself dragged, kicking and screaming, back into the bedroom where Keiji cuffs you to the headboard. He’s huffing, but he manages to get both wrists cuffed to the headboard. Back to square one, with you refusing to acknowledge him while he tries to talk. Well, he does talk, you’re forced to listen.

When dinner time comes around, you expect some plain chicken broth or maybe even water, but instead you’re given nothing. Keiji doesn’t come in the room at all. The water running let’s you know he’s washing dishes, but where’s your meal? When his humming enters the room, you know he’s coming down. When he opens the door, in his hand lays a plate with bread crust and crumbs, along with some pocky sticks. Just two, however. Barely considered a meal. “Dinner!”

“You’re kidding me,”

“Dear, you know I don’t joke around easily. You were naughty this afternoon, so you’re going to eat my leftovers. Bread crust and some stale pocky sticks is the only thing on your menu,”

“I’ll starve instead,” a glare sent his way does frazzle him one bit, instead almost makes him... chippier. As if you’re falling for his well hidden trap. A nod and he’s gone, your only source of food with him. He won’t enter to room again until nighttime, so you’re left to wallow in your own solitude, something you used to take for granted.

When Keiji does finally come into the room, you’re excited to see him before remembering you don’t like him. Instead of taking the key and releasing your restraints to sleep, he grabs his pillow, his blanket, and his phone charger. “Where are you going?”

“Well, since you obviously hate me, I thought it’d be best that I leave you alone. After all, that is what you wanted, yes?” A small smirk is on his face as your eyes widen, thoughts running through your head as he takes his leave. Without a bid goodnight, Keiji leaves you alone in the room. With no possible entertainment except your mind, you feel uneasy. Unsteady. The world is suddenly dropping you off in an empty room with nothing and you can’t think of anything to keep yourself entertained. The television set buzzes to life outside, while the popping of popcorn fills your ears along with the melted butter smell. An urge to move flits around, but you decide it is best to not.

The next day, it’s a similar situation. Within three days of Kōtarō’s leave, you’ve found yourself craving his company more than ever. Keiji is ruthless and merciless, entering the bedroom for clothes and then leaving for work. He doesn’t talk to you, he doesn’t look at you, he barely enters the room anymore. You feel your stomach grumble at the thought of food, your mouth dry from the lack of fluids in your system. A pathetic way to die, one would think. With the lack of nutrition, your body will eventually decay or fall into an unstable state. Keiji isn’t a dunce, he knows this — at least, he should. Why then, you wonder, is he allowing this? Not only are you completely attached to the bed, but you haven’t been able to get up at all, even for bathroom use. The urine has stained the sheets, turning the pristine white cotton into a grimy yellow color, the ammonia stench covering the entire bedroom. You felt like a helpless child, in dire need of your parents to come home.

In a way, that’s what it was. You were helpless and needed someone else’s help. You need Keiji’s help. You can only go so long before you end up breaking, and you’ve reached a limit. The disgusting liquid under you was the final thread, the squelching and squeezing every time your hips move to a different area to attempt to leave the spot resulting in a failed attempt. The white dress was soaked, first from the bathroom incident and now it was dyed yellow due to your own fluids. Kōtarō wouldn’t be happy with those results.

When Keiji finally comes home, you hear him. You hear the door close and a sigh. Waiting for him to enter the room is quickly disregarded as you call for him. With no hesitation, he arrives at the room, looking at you. “You called, darling?”

“Keiji, please. I’m sorry I was bad. I need you, please don’t leave me,” you cry out, pulling on the cuffs. Shushing you, he quickly attends to your wrists, red and raw from the tugging, pulling, and twisting you’ve done over the past day. Once one hand is free from the restraint, he’s happy to feel it grabbing his shoulder, a silent beg to not leave. “Kei-“

“I know, I know. I won’t hurt you,” his words calm you down, sobs turning into hiccups as he guides you off the bed. Your legs are weak, unstable from lack of use, so he bridal carries you into the bathroom, not caring about the urine. After setting you on the toilet, he strips you of your dress and starts the bath. Trusting you to not move, he leaves. Another test, to see if you’ve really shaped up after the last attempt.

Keiji stands in the bedroom, pulling the sheets off the bed and removing the pad. He puts them aside, but waits. No movement from the bathroom, not even the toilet seat squeaking or the shutting off of the water. Continuing to put the sheets and dress away, he picks out a set of panties — new and clean, a treat for being good — to go with the pastel pink sundress. It looks exactly like the other one, except the color. After getting a towel and a change of clothes himself, he leaves.

You’re still sitting on the toilet, looking at him as he enters. Perking up, you push into the hand the caresses your head, brushing the tangled hair. He stops the water, guiding you into the tub. Once you’re settled, he strips down and joins you.

“You’re not going to hurt me?” You ask, voice dull.

“Of course not. When have I ever done that?”

The next day is such an improvement, Keiji can’t help but let Kōtarō know how well you’ve adjusted. You’re compliant out of fear rather than love, but Kōtarō doesn’t know that. He’s so excited to see a picture of you cooking in the kitchen, he probably wouldn’t care. The picture doesn’t capture the longing look at the knives, the fleeting glances at the door, the rigidness of your body as Keiji wraps his arms around you. It’s small gestures, but you never move to accomplish the action. Your finger might twitch, a gulp as you see the unlocked door, but you continue on. You make the noodles, you bring the tray to Keiji, you sit in his lap and allow the arms to secure your place. The food is something you’re ever thankful for, the lack of food spurring your resilience into breaking. With a gentle blow, Keiji feeds you the ramen you dutifully prepared for the both of you all day.

You never looked at the door again. You never looked at the knives unless you were cutting something. Even with Keiji breathing down your neck, eyes focused on your hands, you didn’t twitch or move to hurt him. You went to the bathroom and didn’t complain when he joined you. Even when he had to do his little daily checkup, you didn’t complain. The first time, you mentioned it tickled and questioned what he was doing, sticking his nose between your legs as he pried them open. He just smiled and said he needed to know if you were healthy, to which your questions easily stopped. Although he occasionally swept his tongue over your still wet folds, you never told him to go away and leave you alone. Even when he went further and had put you on the bathroom’s countertop before diving between your legs once more, your fingers thread themselves through his hair as you moaned.

When the news of Kōtarō coming back reached your ears, you didn’t know how to feel. Keiji was the one to help you, give you comfort, so you didn’t feel too excited to see Kōtarō. Keiji knew this would cause problems, as Kōtarō was expecting you to be as loving to him as you were to Keiji. After an explanation of the situation, you promised to perform appropriately for Kōtarō. With a whispered threat of locking you up again, you easily complied with everything you were asked to do. When Kōtarō came through the door, he was easily able to catch you as you jumped on him. “Welcome back!”

“Aw, [Y/N]! I’m glad to be back!” He nuzzled into your neck, indulging in your scent. You could easily pretend to be in love with Kōtarō, but your scent would tell him if you were feeling off. With his superior senses, you had to be forced into a mindset where you did love Kōtarō. Threats and memories of the past had could nodding along, situating yourself into his life easily. “I missed you, a lot,”

“Well, we won’t have to be gone for so long again, right?” You ask, a pout forming. “Or are you going to leave me?”

“Oh, no! You’re gonna live with me,” he grins, a closed eye smile. Your eyes widen as the information is processing, Keiji coming from the kitchen.

“It was a surprise for you. We’ll be moving to Osaka to be close to Bokuto-san,” he’s drying a knife, one he recently finished washing, but it’s also a silent threat. Kōtarō didn’t see the horrified look on your face, but he sure did.

“O-Oh. Okay! I can’t wait, when are we.. when do we move?” Twiddling your fingers, Kōtarō wraps his arms around you once more, effectively picking you up. No hesitating, your legs wrap around his waist as he looks up at your face, love flooding his eyes.

“You’ll move in with me tomorrow. Once Akaashi’s boxed everything up, he’ll join us. Our room is all set up, and there’s lots of rooms for kids. Speaking of-!”

“Another time, Bokuto-san,” Keiji harshly whispered, Kōtarō’s eyes widening before smiling, nodding. You didn’t know what that was, but you then focused on Kōtarō moving to the couch.

“Let’s eat, I’m starving! Maybe I can have something special for dessert, if you know what I mean,” with an added eyebrow wiggle, you shyly smile and nod. It’s what Keiji told you would please Kōtarō. It’s what Keiji told you that you need to do.

The dinner itself is fine, but when you ask to use the restroom, Kōtarō points out the red splotches on your white dress. Panicking, you attempt to locate the spot as your face heats up in embarrassment. Keiji then points out the bit of blood on Kōtarō’s pants, making you think your cycle has started. At that mention, Kōtarō’s growling in anger as you seize up in fear, unsure of what to do. Keiji tells you to change while he deals with Kōtarō, you immediately obeying and going to the bedroom.

“I thought ovulating meant she would get pregnant. Why isn’t she pregnant? Were you wrong?” Kōtarō asks, still angry. He knows he scared you, your lingering scent of fear in the room and around him. He thought he could smell another scent on you, but he didn’t know what it could be.

“Bokuto-san, I know this is frustrating but it’s possible she didn’t get pregnant. However, spotting is a sign of pregnancy. It was only a few drops. If she has anymore blood leakage that gets heavy tonight, we’ll know,” Keiji is able to calm down Kōtarō, who rolls his shoulders back and lies against the back of the couch. “Do you want to change your jeans?”

“Nah, it’s barely noticeable. Plus,” a thumb runs over the denim, Kōtarō licking his lips as his eyes darken, “this is like she’s claiming me, right?”

Kōtarō does not force himself on you that evening. Instead, he just cuddles you that night. It’s a differing touch than Keiji’s, who ends up rolling to the other side of the bed in the night. Kōtarō holds you close and tightly all night, snuggling closer to you, as if it was possible, and nudging his nose in your neck. It’s sweet, you think, as he caresses you like you’re made of glass.

The next morning, Kōtarō has you properly dressed to leave with him. A set of panties, sweatpants, t-shirt, and a hoodie. It’s a casual set of clothes, but they are all you came to Keiji’s house in a week and a half ago. Kōtarō says he’ll get you better clothes once you’re settled in, but you feel uneasy as you bid goodbye to Keiji. He worries about your mental state once you’re alone with Kōtarō, but he just has to hope you’re able to seem stable enough for a day.

In Osaka, you feel like your life is beginning anew. It’s not much different from Tokyo, but as Kōtarō guides you through the streets, it becomes known that Osaka has a lot more greenery. It’s very beautiful, in your opinion. When he stops in front of an old house, you glance at him. “Our new home, sweetheart!” He cheers, kissing your cheek as he picks you up. Carrying you inside the house, you notice the security. The gate is only opened via pin entry, which the gate itself is roughly 2 meters tall. Even the door to the house requires thumbprint access, a very modern and technological touch in an older, traditional house.

He shows you to your room, which is also his room, but yours too. It has its modern touch, with the remaining aspect of futons to lay on. The cameras in the hallway also are in your view, the one in the bedroom and the hallway. Looking into each room, you notice they are containing cameras, but one room is different. “What’s this?”

“Oh? This is our nursery! So, when you have a baby, it’ll be in here,” he chirps, pointing out things in the room. Scanning the room, you notice the lack of camera secured.

“Where’s the camera?”

“What— what camera?” Rubbing the back of his neck, he fakes confusion. You see right through it.

“I noticed the other cameras. There’s not one here,”

“Oh, well, that’s because this room has baby monitors!” He gestures to the white device. A nod of understanding has the tour moving on. Showing you to the kitchen, you notice the pantry and fridge are stocked. “Would you make me dinner?”

“Of course. What do you want?”

“You, served hot and steaming in the bath,” he grins. Eyes widen as you realize what he wants, you sheepishly laughing as you acquiesce.

Kōtarō is much rougher than Keiji, you knew that, but the way he fucks you with fervor as he hasn’t seen you in almost five days is something akin to his rut. Sinking his teeth into your skin, remarking his territory as he spurs you into your first orgasm of the night. Your nails are digging into his broad shoulders, the only thing you can use to keep yourself grounded. The setting wasn’t in the bathroom, but rather the bedroom where he claimed he wanted to “seal the deal” of you coming home. Legs tighten around his waist, back arching as he continues to drive his cock into you and litter your neck with less painful marks, claiming already claimed territory. As he presses a wet, sloppy kiss against your lips, you scream as you tighten your walls, feeling his knot force its way inside you.

A warm hand rubs the side of your body as your walls convulse around him, squeezing as he pumps you full of his cum. It’s a memory to you, but it feels so warm and fulfilling, you immediately relax in his hold as he continues to pepper kisses along your body. It’s a comforting feeling, being praised and cared for, a drastic difference from the way Keiji treated you a few days ago. Well, how you think he treated you a few days ago. He said he never did it, but your body said differently. With Kōtarō’s eyes of love looking down on you, you didn’t think it mattered. That was in the past, this was the present. You felt comfortable here, that was what mattered.

When Keiji arrived with a bunch of boxes, you were told to make them lunch so they could eat when they were done. Kōtarō said he didn’t want you straining yourself after last night, so you agree to his demands. Deciding to make some udon for lunch, you get to work as they lug in the boxes. The boxes aren’t large nor heavy, but watching Kōtarō easily lift three of them with no effort, while Keiji brings in two at most with also no effort, you feel yourself get wet at the thought of them hot and sweaty afterwards. With a possible treat in mind, you work more diligently, mentally preparing yourself to ask them.

Keiji mentioned he’d be looking for another job while Kōtarō was at the gym. It would be the first time you would be alone and free to roam. You begged Keiji to not leave for too long, hands grasping at the fabric of his shirt as he pried your hands off. K��tarō gave you a sweet kiss before he left, telling you he’d try to hurry back, but you knew Keiji would get back first. Sitting in the large house, you didn’t know what to do except cook and sleep. Your phone screen lit up with a message from Kōtarō, a picture of him blowing you a kiss with a message of ‘I miss you!’ under it. You smile at that, sending back a message that you miss him, too.

Before you lock your phone, you look at the many games you have on it. There’s one game you don’t remember being on it, it looks like a tracker app. Clicking on it, it welcomes you and it shows how far along you are in.. pregnancy? First reaction is to panic, how do you know if you’re pregnant? Going into the internet app, you search up symptoms of pregnancy. One that jumps out to you is the spotting, only a little bit of blood as the sperm fertilizes the egg. It is most likely what you did on Kōtarō’s lap, the day he came to Tokyo. Another surge of panic comes as you think of your lovers, your mates. With Keiji looking for a new job and Kōtarō being busy with being a professional athlete, they don’t have time to take care of you and a baby. You decide to not tell them.

Although you decide to not tell them, the next week is excuses of your recent symptoms. You find yourself more exhausted than usual, not even getting out of bed to bid goodbye to Kōtarō and Keiji. Not only that, you end up in the bathroom as you feel sick, but only half of the times does something come up. It’s when you have another episode of morning sickness does Keiji pop the question. “Should I get a pregnancy test?”

“N-No! I’m not pregnant, just some bad sushi!” When Keiji’s grip on your arm gets tighter, you whimper. “Keiji, stop hurting me,”

“I’m not hurting you, I just need you to tell me the tru-“ the door shutting cuts him off, his attention to the door of the bathroom where Kōtarō is, panting.

“Something’s wrong, isn’t it? I could sense it,”

“I’m just a bit sick-“ “She’s pregnant-“ You both speak at the same time. Your eyes widen as Keiji looks at you.

“Pregnant? Now? Really?” Kōtarō is ecstatic, but you don’t take it that way.

“I’m not, I promise! I’m sorry!” You beg. Kōtarō’s mood turns sour, the anger directed towards you. Keiji stands back, but he doesn’t interfere.

“Why are you lying to me? If Keiji says you are, then you are! I know you’re lying!” He kneels on the ground and grabs your shoulders, digging his meaty fingers into the flesh. You yelp in pain, attempting to get him off. “Why are you doing this?! You were doing so well!”

“Stop, Kō-chan, stop! You’re hurting me!” A call out of his childhood nickname has his rage quelling, as you brush his hands off and rub the stinging skin. “I don’t want to be pregnant,”

“This isn’t about what you want. It’s about what we want, do you understand that?” Keiji speaks, voice low and threatening. You quickly nod your head, attempting to explain yourself.

“I- I thought that you wouldn’t want a baby because you’re both busy! I don’t- I don’t want to burden you more than I do,” with your words, the anger and rage suddenly evaporates as they understand.

“Burden us? Baby, we love you and do everything for you. You’re going to be carrying my pups and Keiji’s babies, we want this. This is all I ever hoped for,” Kōtarō coos, taking your hands and pressing a kiss to them. A fit of sobs escape as you wrap your arms around him, hiccuping into his chest. Keiji sits and smiles, knowing you have completely adjusted into the proper role.

With the news of your pregnancy, Kōtarō is able to get off a lot more to be there for you. You’re no omega, so it’s not as if he has to take off for 9 months, and Keiji is there to take care of you. Keiji takes care of any appointments you need to do, signing you into a private hospital nearby where Kōtarō’s teammate’s omega gave birth. A list of what was normal was given to you and Keiji and what would be a cause for concern, so you made sure to drill into your head about the possible problems. It was vital that you were able to give birth, being able to give Kōtarō and Keiji what they wanted all you needed to take care of yourself. Keiji prepared your meals, making sure you were eating properly even before the bump showed.

When the bump became prominent, you were glad that your wardrobe consisted of dresses. The dresses you had were all loose-fitting and easy to move around in. With the upcoming winter months, you had lots of blankets and an oversized jacket, bearing Kōtarō’s MSBY number and logo. Kōtarō couldn’t keep his hands off of you, always rubbing your bump and pinching the extra fat you were putting on. Worry over the added weight was a brief concept that quickly evaporated as Kōtarō voiced how much he loves the extra meat to fondle and love, tickling you as you giggle afterwards. Keiji couldn’t say he disagreed with Kōtarō, the added weight adding to your cuteness charm as you did the most basic and minuscule things. He could disagree with Kōtarō on the obsession with the pregnancy milk, however.

Lactation was painful, the way your boobs ached as they were full of creamy milk. Although they ache, Kōtarō encouraged you to let him drink from them. Hesitation was in the beginning, but once his lips had secured themselves on your nipple and started sucking, it was quite relaxing. The tender ache in your breasts were gone as Kōtarō drank from them, but he often had to drink from both of them due to Keiji’s aversion. He didn’t see the appeal, he rather enjoyed teasing your nipples when the sexual appetite of yours had risen, but he didn’t see the appeal in drinking the milk. Keiji did oblige Kōtarō, however, in looking into lactation cookies, which would increase milk production and could even make it taste better. It was worth a try, as it would help the children to develop as you breastfed them.

The lactation cookies Keiji made looked awful, but tasted amazing. You would have eaten all of them had it not been for Keiji stopping you. Kōtarō seemed excited, immediately begging for another go. He’d have to wait until nighttime, since he often took naps after you breastfed him during the day.

At night, you often slept completely naked, able to easily feed Kōtarō if he woke up in the middle of the night. Your sex drive had risen exponentially in your second trimester, to the point Kōtarō had to request off to take care of you. He made sure to keep his promise, stuffing you with his thick cock and plugging you up with his cum or lapping at your folds until your fluids splashed against his face. With the third trimester underway, your libido has decreased while your milk had increased, but that didn’t deter Kōtarō from getting frisky. Even as Keiji bathed away from you two, he couldn’t help but touch himself to your whines and mewls.

Kōtarō has been riding a cloud since your pregnancy came about. Even before the milk, he found it hard to resist fucking you, especially with the added sensitivity. Your breasts were larger now, bouncing with every thrusts as he tweaks the nipples, watching the cream dribble from them. He can’t help himself, really, as he goes to attach himself to one of your perky buds. When Keiji enters the room, he chuckles at the sight.

“Should we worry that there won’t be enough milk for you and the baby?” He muses, sitting on the futon next to you. Your hand grasps at his silk shirt, bringing him down to give you a kiss. Even as Kōtarō drills into you, you want more. A wet pop resounds around the room as Kōtarō laughs, groaning in your ear as he plugs you with his knot, pumping you full.

“The pup can have those bottles, and with help of those miracle cookies, we should be fine. You sure you don’t want to at least try a bit? It feels nice for her, doesn’t it, my little Beta?” He coos, pressing kisses to your cheeks as you come down from your high, walls fluttering around Kōtarō’s cock.

“It relieves some pain, I’ll admit that,” you smile at Keiji. “You can try,”

“Well, how can I say no to that?” He smiles back at you, brushing hair out of your face. Kōtarō massages your breast, holding it so Keiji can attach his lips to the nipple. His eyes focus on the creamy liquid dripping from the bud, only to become transparent as it follows gravity. When he does get a taste, he knows he’s in trouble. It’s as delicious as Kōtarō said, creamy and full that makes you want more. As he sucks with fervor, you giggle and Keiji is joined by his other lover, suckling any milk he left behind. It’s such a strange thing to happen, both grown men sucking on your chest as if they had been born only recently. With the swell of your stomach, you knew they’d have to share their milky mine.

As your due date drew near, you found yourself unable to do anything alone. Kōtarō was off completely until you delivered and Keiji was no longer looking for a job, as it was decided Kōtarō made enough for everyone to live comfortably. He knew he’d have to find another job soon, as more children were born and needed to be fed, but that was a well ways off, at least 9 more months.

What started as a normal day soon turned to chaos as preparations for delivery expedited when your water broke. The hospital had your room prepared already, but it was for your week stay as you were three days away from your date. Kōtarō was in a frenzy, unsure of what to do but desperate to do something. Keiji has to drive to the hospital, while you were doing breathing exercises with Kōtarō in the back seat. It was the birth of their first child, so even Keiji was panicking, but he was also excited.

Once settled into the room, the nurses had to check to see how far along you were dilated. Kōtarō was anxious, his scent permeating the room as he started to pace. The doctor had come in, spurring him into a fighting mentality because the doctor was another Alpha. Keiji and a nurse had to get him out of the room, with a promise he could see the children once they were born, but he would have to wait in the waiting room. Weakly calling out his name and telling him you were fine, he obliged as he left, punching the wall once as he felt his emotions boil over. Keiji was by your side, holding your hand as you squeeze it, pushing when the doctor told you to.

When the room was filled with screaming, the clock chiming as 12:15 had arrived, signaling the date of birth of your first born son. With his stubby arms and legs, you laughed as you held him, Keiji getting the honor of cutting the cord. The baby still needed to be cleaned and checked over, so the doctor and nurses took him while Keiji went to get Kōtarō. By the time Kōtarō and Keiji has come back, you were holding a small, but still big, baby boy swaddled in a thick blanket. Kōtarō immediately raced over to look over both of you, his scent out of control as his emotions mingled together. He didn’t know what to think.

“It looks like it’s yours, Kōtarō,” Keiji says, hand resting on Kōtarō’s shoulder. He smiles in response, looking at the baby’s golden eyes blinking open at him.

“Sure does, Keiji. I guess the next thing we should work on is proper marriage, right?” He watches as the baby grasps his finger, the small hand even smaller compared to his large one.

“A proper marriage, yes. The ring, the dress, the ceremony, you would like that, wouldn’t you dear?”

“Of course Keiji. Anything you want.” As you look up to him, he sees nothing but love in your eyes. He smiles, nodding in agreement.

“Well, as well as making sure the next one’s mine. We should start on that as soon as possible, don’t you think?”

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