#we stan creepy Alys

[moonshine999]

Alys Rivers : A Shadow Monster

[nrilliree]

I'm inclined to think Aemond girlies are the most disgusting and unserious people in the fandom. It's so darn gross how they're trying to convince everyone Aemond's relationship with Alys Rivers, his slave and war prize, was a happy, consensual and loving one. I think they're not really interested in Aemond as a character, but just in seeing Ewan's bare ass. And speaking of Ewan's bare ass... In the trailer, we see a footage of bare-chested, probably naked Aemond, pillowing his head on some woman's lap. Which makes them really excited about the possible Aemond and brothel madame scene. Which I personally find disgusting, since from season one we learnt Aegon dragged his 13 yo brother to the pleasure house where he was probably SA'ed ... I get it that in quasi -medieval Westeros, a 13 yo is considered adult, but don't forget grown up men could become victims of sexual violence as well. Plus, judging how Aemond acted around the madame in season 1, I'd say he didn't feel comfortable around her... I'm not a fan of Aemond's (honestly, it's so lame how the showrunners are apparently trying to excuse war crimes and crimes against humanity he's going to commit with his unhappy childhood) , but it's extremely creepy how desperate the "stans" are to see Ewan in a sex scene, never mind whether it makes sense plot-wise or character -wise.

What amuses me the most is when Aemond's fans want him to have an affair with Helaena and be the father of her children. This is such stupid hypocrisy that it truly amuses me.

But yes, most of them simply mean that they don't want to see Aemond in such scenes or Ewan in make-up. That's why in their fan fiction they make Aemond a nice, tender and sensitive boy who has done nothing wrong in his life and although he is such an incredibly excellent warrior, he abhors violence. He's supposed to be their sensitive teddy bear in hot scenes. Therefore, they do not pay attention to the fact that it may in some way result in harm to the character. But for Aemond, who was dragged by Aegon to a brothel when he was a boy, it would mean harm. Or it could involve this character hurting others. But why should they care, right?

[lizzie-queenofmeigas]

I am quite frankly disgusted with how this show has made it their goal to make people hate Daemon, and most people still don't. Ha!

That scene was unnecessary and gross. They can just start by putting it in credits, we hate Daemon. He is opposite of what he is in book. The stupid line TG and show creators say, book is not reliable, says who?

And their headcanons are?

Daemon did not fall for this woman's bull. They are just upset that Aemond did. If it were upto these two show creators, they'd made Daemon die with dark sister in his eye. That's how much they hate him.

Why are people not offended that this witch is basically a mind ra**st, I don't see her as a badass or whatever TG stans are ranting, they are just happy Daemon is her victim.

Even in book its very clear she enchanted Aemond, her ass could crush Aemond's skull too like she did with that knight, she does not care for Strongs murder, please.

The book had zero indication Aemond being into old women and he did not give a damn about helaena either.

Him being tricked by this witch is supposed to be a parallel to the fact Daemon did not fall her bull but Aemond did.

I feel sorry for Daemon, no wonder the actor only likes talking about his scenes with simon. I feel sorry for Aemond too, her future victim, the guy is assaulted by old women every time. why should I cheer for a rap**t woman? It'll be super weird if they try to spin it as some creepy romance.

Not surprising that side loves an actual rap**t woman and make Rhaenyra an assaulter who did nothing bad to cole.

I agree, except for the part of book Alys. Show Alys is terribly abusive and they will probably make her Aemond's abuser. In the books this is different.

I don't believe Alicent was a witch in the books, if anything she had knowledge of herbs and remedies. I think she was simply a bastard who was housed by her family and took care of the children. I think she was Aemond's victim as he quite literally murder her whole family including babies who she had taken care of.

I hate every character's characterization. The actors are really the only thing carrying the show.

[dulcewrites]

Whole different type of delusion that I see in this fandom is how helaemond shippers act. All they say is everyone should support Helaena cheating on her unfaithful husband because if you someone doesn't, it's misogynistic, but when you mention Alicent having sex with Criston in season 2 they are furious and say Alicent is not Rhaenyra to sleep around 😂

For them it's like helaemond makes sense because Helaena was smarter than Rhaenyra so no one knew Aemond's the father.

And then when you point out they behave exactly like daemyra stans they are surprised 😂

I knew Alys will be hated in fandom because of 2 things. By Blacks because she was better Queen at Harrenhall than Rhaenyra was for 6 months time and Alys have no supporters and no dragon and no Aemond by her side because he was dead then. And by Greens because she is the opposite of Alicent and Helaena who are stuck and doomed and living in the cage.

But the one truly doomed is in fact Alys. She is lowborn bastard and women, so she means nothing and can be used by her family as they please. And yet she survives and makes the best out of Dance. All without any political machinations, she just took power over Harrenhall and no one took it away from her. If this isn't the best character of this show I don't know who may be.

I think in general people in this fandom, and this is something I must remind myself as well, need to program their brains to stop relating every single thing that happens to a woman in this story to a man. Especially romantically

It is pretty clear that one major point at the base of hotd is patriarchy and how way men often use the girls/women in their lives as pawns or martyrs. Whether people think it was well done or not is their choice, but it is clearly there. That conversation I get, and think we need to have. But the way people are so hellbent on ‘pairing’ women in this story with someone, specifically men, can get exhausting.

Why is the most horrid thing that happens in the dance, something that fundamentally breaks Helaena as a person turned into an argument to either uplift/tear down Aegon or Aemond?? Why is her taking her own life out of grief and fear about her brother(s)???

Why does Alicent, someone who clearly has been through sexual trauma in her life at the hands of men - someone who already has creepy psychosexual relationships with men in her life, have to sleep with criston?? Hell, why does criston someone that’s been taken advantage of by nobility (depending on how you read that scene in ep 4) have to sleep with Alicent, his queen???

If Helaena wants to be unfaithful to her husband, I will support her bc Aegon is not a good husband lmao. But the idea she needs to be with her brother, and he had those kids with her is… very odd to me. I don’t see it and idc if that makes me a hater. In general, I think people’s insistence on taking one of the few targ characters that doesn’t have incest as a major footnote in his story (Aemond) and making him into someone he isn’t, is annoying.

People (rightfully) point out how horrible targaryen girls/women are treated but then perpetuate the one thing that has led to many targ women’s downfall: The idea that they are property to the men in their family.

As for alys, she was going to be hated on several reasons : 1. Ageism (people call show and book Alicent a hag despite show Alicent being in her 30s and book Alicent being in her 40s). 2. The fact that aemond is now the fandom fanfic bike aka he gets ridden/shipped with everyone and him having a canon love interest pisses people off. 3. Low born or bastard born women get treated very differently by the fanbase than their male counterparts. 4. The murky relationship between her and Aemond. Now as someone who is excited to see where they take alysmond, even I can understand why people may put off by it. First you have the age difference on the side of her taking advantage of him. Especially now that in the show it has been implied Aemond delt with his own s.a. But by the time they meet, Aemond is Prince Regent. Clearly in a position of power over her. It is dubious and it’s ok to point that out.

But I’m sure as hell not gonna be reprimanded by daemrya or helaemond shippers on that. They clearly don’t give a shit about what is above board 💀💀. At at the very least, every alysmond shipper I’ve personally come across is very open and clear about alys and Aemond’s relationship, and the possible stipulations. I can’t say the same for the other two camps.

Every woman in this story, nobility or low born, has been through shit. That’s the whole point and the bitch of patriarchy. It affects every woman to a certain degree. Of course someone like Rhaenyra or Alicent has lived a very different life than Alys, and that needs to pointed out. All women are not on equal playing field. But all of them have been trapped or stuck at one point or another. How these women maneuver this world is important because of how differently each live, which is why it is dumb when people advocate for their stories to be cut (Sara, nettles, alys). These characters being vehemently hated by ANYONE is weird asf to me.

I enjoy team green, I write for team green, but people take this ‘team’ stuff too seriously sometimes. Well.. when it comes to the women. The male characters can get it lmao. I personally don’t like the rhetoric around how most women in story get spoken about. People are so focused on whose winning or shipping that the point of the story gets lost. And frankly regurgitating the same points and arguments sucks the fun out a show…shame. If people hate everything about it or have to make up crazy theories for it to work… just don’t watch 🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️

[thephantomcasebook]

These fans are mad that the writers are lame af because ain't no way they've never imagined they wouldn't do characters dirty for no reason before lol

In all honesty ...

I've never seen anyone or anything get so goddamn feral, so quickly, in my life, than the HOTD fandom did.

We all sort of eased back into the franchise at first after being incredibly let down and betrayed. Then from 1x03-1x05 it was like being a part of the GOT fandom again with funny memes and joking around. People slowly falling in love with Alicent and kinda liking young Rhaenyra. All of us agreeing that Matt Smith is a great actor.

Then, around 1x06 to current day, everyone just lost their goddamn mind.

Suddenly there's this weird cult like hate or adoration of Alicent. Fucking Rhaenyra stans out here screaming the condoning for the murder of children and the need for it. You can't even praise Jaehaera - a sweet and innocent little girl - and wish that she get better treatment without some creepy losers shitting themselves in anger over it.

I was on discord earlier and I was showing them the kind of deranged asks that people send into my inbox and it was a large topic of conversation between people - some who may or may not work on HOTD in some capacity or another - about the level of vitriol and rage that cropped up out of absolutely nowhere.

Reddit is a hive of buzzing angry hornets at the best of times, but the level of hatred and anger in the ASoIaF fandom is just unreal and everyone who is a fan and even people who work on the show are noticing it.

I've got this major fucking loser we were making fun of today who is so fucking pissed off because I have a pet theory of A+C=D and they're so angry and offended by it that they hate read my blog and act like one of those sad pathetic "Reply guys" on twitter at every post.

There's also this person who we tracked down and whose blog we all had a good laugh at reading, who sends absolute vitriolic asks because they refuse to believe that Jessica Brown Findlay was originally cast to play Alys Rivers. There is all sorts of evidence from both Olivia Cooke and Phia Saban following her on Instagram, to the head costume designer and several directors from season 2 following her on instagram, to her even liking several instagram posts from the Costume Designer about cast fittings before someone on twitter noticed and she unliked everything.

But still, this person truly believes that if she "Stans" the replacement actress for Alys, that she's somehow a good and righteous person that can claim internet points for being the first stan.

And I think that's the weird part about this whole thing with fandom that we were talking about.

There's people in this fandom, on Twitter and Reddit, that somehow equate their favs to be linked to some sort of real life virtue. That there some sort of moral equivalency test to liking an aspect or character of this goddamn show. And if you fail it or don't line up you're not just against the tribe, you're all and all evil.

And it's so fucking wild how a fandom went from fun crank theories about Varys being a Mermaid to being evil and awful, because, you talked to someone who was around the volume for Pre-viz who heard something at lunch and you relay what they heard to someone who asked what the word is in the gossip mills these days.

Even when you preface and epilogue the post with it being a rumor and probably not true, they still gnash their teeth and post on Twitter and Reddit trying to get a hate mob together to come after your blog.

Mutha'fucker, I'm a 33 year old man who has been shot at and been in life or death fist fights with dudes twice my size.

All I have to do to kick your ass is ignore an app for a few days while I finish a chapter and watch retro anime and Downton Abbey.

Either way, it's crazy out here, Nonny.

Get strapped and stay vigilante, the hoard of rage zombies are out in force.

[felicia-cat-hardy]

My 'Pretty Little Liars' Obsession Led Me To My Best Friend

“Got a secret, can you keep it?” Well, I’ve got one: Though Pretty Little Liars ended in 2017, the seven-season mystery thriller schemed its way into being an integral part of my life for the long haul, so much so that the opening credits live in my head rent-free. To this day, each time I hear the sinister theme song — “Secret” by The Pierces — I’m brought right back to my childhood comfort show (ahem, obsession). The visuals begin with a swipe of mascara, the smear of red lipstick, and a clasp of a heel onto a porcelain doll, which makes me feel like I’m watching someone get pampered for prom. Until, of course, it cuts to four girls standing in front of a casket. It's a chilling moment, one that, until Season 6B, ended with Aria Montgomery (Lucy Hale) delivering her iconic “shh.” I got cast under the show’s spell the first time I saw it, and I wasn’t the only one: Pretty Little Liars led me to my best friend.

Ironically, plotlines about deceit and betrayal actually helped ignite a long-lasting friendship. In 2011, the only other person I knew to be watching PLL was my now-BFF, Taylor, who’s been by my side for over a decade. We were only about 11 and 12 when it premiered, so shout out to our parents for letting us watch a show that dealt with very adult themes like substance use disorder, assault, and grief. Unlike our classmates, who watched tween-appropriate hits like iCarly and Victorious, we became PLL stans.

As fans know, the show is loosely based on the Sara Shepard YA series of the same name, and the first book was my entry point into the PLL universe. I loved reading about blackmailers and murderers navigating high school, but I thought I was the only one who was into it. (Was this my ~I’m different~ complex showing, or were my peers just naturally more inclined to recap Dance Moms? I’ll never know.) So, Taylor first struck up a conversation with me at school because she spotted the first PLL book on my desk — you know, the one painted with porcelain wax dolls warning to “never trust a pretty girl with an ugly secret” in a Gothic script. She asked if I’d watched the TV adaptation yet and we immediately exchanged phone numbers to text about upcoming episodes. We then fell into the fandom. Fast.

I’d never talked to Taylor before this interaction — we had only been in a few classes together — but I always saw her as approachable and friendly. Universally, the beginning of middle school is a big and terrifying year when kids from different elementary schools unite. Eager to meet new people, I reached for friendship at any chance I could get. Taylor made it easy. Aside from being a genuinely kind person (a rare trait for a middle schooler!), she was fangirling over the same thing as me.

Fast forward over a decade later, and the show still feels timeless, especially in its accurate depictions of how dramatic high school can get. It’s no surprise there’s a PLL HBO Max reboot on the way along with the remakes of other buzzy shows from that era (hello, 2010s nostalgia). Ah. It was a simpler time. Back then, Freeform was still ABC Family and for me, Tuesdays meant one thing: PLL is on. What first started as a solo viewing experience soon became a designated hangout time, a time slot reserved for me and Taylor to gush over how much we loved Ashley Benson. (We still do!)

The series had a vibe similar to Gossip Girl or Bridgerton in that a mysterious, unidentifiable pot-stirrer keeps fans guessing each episode, but it was arguably so much better since “A,” the anonymous villain, is out for, you know, murder. Ultimately, it was the type of whodunit that made me and Taylor (and millions of viewers) go down a couple of Reddit rabbit holes — remember the “Aria is A” suspicion? — and this is where my and Taylor’s experience with fan theories began.

Oh, and let’s not forget the location. PLL takes place in the fictional suburb of Rosewood, Pennsylvania, and for two girls from Bucks Country — aka the Philadelphia ‘burbs — we ate it up. The beloved “Welcome to the Dollhouse” episode was exceptionally creepy not only because the Liars get locked into a life-size replica of their bedrooms, but also because our real neighborhood looks extremely similar to their hometown. It operates like Rosewood, too, in that small-town gossip travels at lightning speed.

The Pennsylvania-based plotline also made it easier for us to identify with the characters, who felt like extensions of ourselves. In many ways, we got to know each other through their personalities. Taylor is studious and high-achieving, obviously a Spencer. And I owned feather earrings because I saw Lucy Hale sport them in Season 1, so obviously an Aria. Asking “Are you more of a Hanna or an Emily?” held as much weight in 2012 as asking someone their rising sign in 2021. While it might not say much, it also tells you everything you need to know about a person.

PLL got its start right before live-tweeting shows became popularized, so when we weren’t together, I used to text Taylor on my slide-out keyboard phone (only Zillennials will remember) to compare notes without stumbling upon many spoilers. They read something like this: “Caleb and Hanna are soul mates, TBH.” Like every other fan, we theorized about why A had to be Ian… and Melissa… and Jenna… and Mona… and, you get the point. When our elaborate speculations ran cold, we’d pause DVR’d episodes to gather more clues, like glimpses of Red Coat’s face in her second season introduction, or inspections of those eerie-gloved hands assembling dolls and sharpening knives at the end of each episode.

This game of Clue made room for conversations about all the things. We were in high school during the show’s peak, so it felt like the Liars had laid the groundwork for how to operate our school’s halls. Rosewood High was not traditional — uh, multiple students came back from the dead (*cough* Mona and Alison) — but it did prepare us for the stressors of college applications and first romantic relationships. In fact, Benson’s Hanna Marin would be proud of my matchmaking skills because back then, I introduced Taylor to the boyfriend she’s still with today.

As we both grew up with the show, our friendship got even deeper. The Liars weren’t the only ones to share secrets, and I found it incredibly easy to confide in Taylor. She’s trustworthy, level-headed, compassionate, and an excellent listener. She’s someone I know will always pick up on the second ring and is the type of friend to be there with advice, reassurance, and a quick-witted one-liner. She once joked about never needing a diary because we’ve transcribed the past 10 years of our lives via text.

Our bond has remained strong, especially because the most outrageous PLL-esque plotlines of our lives are ones we’ve experienced together. I love Taylor because I don’t have to provide background for my stories. I’m even so familiar with the cast of characters in her life that when someone re-enters after a long period, I like to say they Alison DiLaurentis’ed her.

And on the off-chance she’s not there to witness something meaningful happen to me IRL, she’s always ready to decipher what went down over texts or dinner and drinks — just like we did when we were teens trying to figure out who A was (minus the wine, of course).

The way she can reconstruct my way of thinking and offer up a perspective I hadn’t seen before is almost paranormal. Whether these are Taylor’s naturally given talents or traits learned from peeling back all the layers of the series, I’m not sure. But she’s always there to decode situations with me — whether they relate to a TV show or during moments when I feel lost.

I couldn’t be more thankful that Taylor entered my life and that PLL played a role in our friendship. I feel so incredibly lucky to know someone like her. Plus, now I have someone who is obligated to watch the reboot with me. Ali was right: Friends do share secrets. And she’s ~quite literally~ the reason Taylor’s got all of mine. Spencer and Aria, you’ve got some competition.

Get Relationship Advice Here

[hardtchill]

Have players found stories before or is that you just making shit up to be a concern troll when rpf exists for thousands of celebrities every day & these players and their families should have some common sense as to not have google alerts for themselves, and their agents should send them articles to post about themselves if need be for ads & partnerships. Anon you’re the one being creepy and obsessed with Hardtchill so much so that you know her ao3, which is under a different name!

Anon doesn’t want to admit it but to find me on Tumblr they have to be on stan Tumblr (which is also something we don’t want the players to see). To find me on AO3 you either have to work your way through the player tags, my blog or you need to search AO3. All of which would mean that this anon didn’t stumble across my fics on accident.

To answer your question, i’m pretty sure Ashlyn has once mentioned fanfiction but she wasn’t judgemental of it. This was also years ago when Woso was mostly just Ali/Ash and T&C were at most a crack ship. Anon is being hypocritical and crazy, all the writers i know would hate it if the players they write about would ever find their fics, that’s why we keep it on Tumblr, Discord or solely on AO3.

[culkinkieran]

12, 17, 36!

thank you so much for the ask, asdllkshfad! 💛

12. what do you think about the most?

well, it's usually my college and my current celebrity/ficitonal crush... i mean, the latter is honestly the only coping mechanism i have in my arsenal to deal with stress (i know it sounds pathetic but it's all i have haha). right now i'm very much in love with sacha baron cohen's character ali g, and the worst thing that i don't have anyone to talk about him with (cause the character is from early 2000s tv show and literally nobody cares), so i'm thinking about him twice as much as i would usually be doing 😬

17. would you ever smile at a stranger?

if i'm in a good mood, no problem! wouldn't do that randomly i think, only if we have some sort of interaction (not necessarily verbal), otherwise it would just be creepy

36. do you forgive betrayal?

a question truly from a lacho stan hahaha

i was lucky enough to never experience a betrayal, unless it's some dumb stuff in childhood, so i don't really know... if it's like something really global, i would probably forgive a close friend or a family member, even if they don't apologize. i would use all my willpower to stay offended as long as i can but i would forgive them in the end anyway because holding grudges takes so much energy from me, i would simply get tired

[kitten1618x]

GoT Afterthoughts ep. 08x01 ‘Winterfell’(Part 3)

Annnnd I’m back again! So where were we? Oh yes, back in Cersei’s boudoir...

~

The first thing I noticed is Cersei is drinking wine again. I’m still not 100% sure she was pregnant to begin with, guys. They were very secretive and ambiguous about the whole thing if you think back on it — and those leaks about her miscarrying turned out to be a wash.

~

Cersei is still salty about those damn elephants.

Same girl, saaaaame.

~

Euron wants to know how he compares to her past lovers. She strokes his massive ego a bit until he brings up Jaime—still a tender wound, she warns him to tread lightly, then simultaneously insults and compliments him as he lays a possessive hand on her stomach and declares he’s going to put a prince in her belly. She promptly dismisses him.

~

What’s striking here is that Cersei appears to be fighting off tears. Clearly, she didn’t want to sleep with Euron, but did so to keep him loyal to her. Love her or hate her, it’s sad to see her at such a desperate and low point where she’s basically whoring herself to keep an ally. Especially when Euron is such a wildcard, and now that he basically got exactly what he wanted—who’s to say he’ll stick around?

~

But, if you believe in political!jon, this is quite the parallel to Jon essentially doing the same to hold onto a wildcard ally in Dany.

~

I’m still not sold on a Cersei pregnancy/miscarriage guys...

~

While Euron is distracted, Theon and what remains of the Iron Born loyal to them, free Yara. She promptly headbutts him for leaving her ass, then helps him up. Now they’re even. 10/10 realistic sibling behavior. lol

~

Yara wants to head back to the Iron Islands, but senses Theon’s need to make amends to the Starks. She sends him to Winterfell with her blessing. I truly love these two as a strong family unit!! Gahhhhhh

~

We drop back into Winterfell where Lord Royce greets Alys Karstark and her people. And why this is necessary got me like 👀. Almost as much as why Alys was cast as a tall, red-headed girl... perhaps to fake a death scene of another important tall red-headed girl with the battle of Winterfell right around the corner?

~

Davos schools Tyrion and Varys on Northern stubbornness and loyalty. Then he proposes a marriage alliance between Jon and Dany if the world should survive. And fucken gag me, Dadvos... I expected better of you! lol I believe the words he uses are “a just woman and an honorable man.” And I’m sorry, it’s just hard for me to reconcile this statement with the same Davos who was extremely skeptical of the things Missandei was saying about Dany last season. Or the same Davos who looked extremely uncomfortable with Dany’s tantrum on the beach when she accused her hand Tyrion, of not wanting to murder his family... but, I digress.

~

We end this scene on Varys’ ominous words, sure to leave a bitter taste in your mouth: NOTHING LASTS. Drop those truth bombs, Varys.

~

A marriage alliance between a truly just woman and an honorable man is probably still in the cards... just sayin’.

~

We drop down from the battlements where Dany and Jon are strolling amongst the battle preparations. Of all the things they could be talking about: the wall falling, the issue of food shortages, etc. Dany brings up Sansa, of course. (no love triangle brewing here folks, none at all).

~

Dany licks her lips and looks around coyly, as if annoyed. “Your sister doesn’t like me.” — well neither did Bran really, or any of the northern lords, but it’s only Sansa’s name on Dany’s tongue—how curious. (Not really).

~

Jon’s eyes shift nervously before he turns to face her and sighs (because I’m telling you, he knew this was coming and it’s no coincidence that he’s kept his mouth shut and stayed out of the conflict). “She doesn’t know you.” Truth. He attempts a joke at how Sansa didn’t like him much either when they were growing up, but Dany isn’t amused.

~

“She doesn’t have to be my friend, but I am her queen. If she can’t respect me…” Dany leaves the threat and it’s implications hang in the air between them, her eyes narrowing dangerously.

~

Dark!dany is here, y’all.

~

I’m sure Dany stans and the jonerii are twisting themselves into pretzels to explain this away.

I mean, it’s not like Emilia herself didn’t warn us all that her character would be doing some ‘weird shit’ and we’d know when we saw it...

~

But Jon’s face here is strikingly similar to these various scenes...

And...

And...

Same. Ass. Energy. You do the math friends, but he’s certainly not looking upon her lovingly.

~

Luckily for Sansa and Jon, the Dothraki steal Dany’s attention to inform her of the livestock count of the dragons’ current dinner menu: 18 goats and 11 sheep. Dany looks alarmed—the dragons are barely eating. Barely. Do you have any idea how many people that amount of livestock could feed?

~

That’s why it’s really hard for me to not be critical of Dany’s character here. I realize she loves her dragons and they are her ‘children’, but in this moment she shows more empathy for the dragons lack of food (who truly can fly off and hunt) than that of the actual people who quite possibly could starve—and was irritated with Sansa for bringing it up.

~

And I will show this fucken gif as many times as I want because it’s so important!!

Food is so important. Don’t let the antis try and tell you otherwise.

~

Jon and Dany go to check on the dragons, and we have the scene we were treated to from the early released stills.

Jon asks what’s wrong with the dragons and Dany replies “they don’t like the North.” — and there is definitely a double meaning behind her words, as I don’t think Dany much likes the North, either. She climbs atop Drogon while Rhaegal expresses a curious interest in Jon.

~

“Go on.” Dany encourages Jon. Not the brightest move to give your bf of 10 minutes the keys to one of your WMD’s, and especially since there are surely much more important things to be done since being made aware that the wall is down and your other child is now a flying ice demon, but hey, joy ride time you crazy Targ kids!

~

So this must be the comedic scene the D’s talked about. I know everyone had mixed feelings about Jon riding a dragon, but I must say, I rather enjoyed this scene—except for the music, which for awhile seemed like a very jarring variation of the Truth theme. The music is very important in this show, so I’ll be curious to know when this pops up again, and where. Perhaps a dragon face off in another dance of dragons? Hmmm?

~

Drogon takes the lead, and Dany seems rather amused at scaring the pants off of Jon when she nose dives Drogon into a ravine and Rhaegal follows. Oh, but what’s this? Jon has realized he can control Rhaegal on his own, and brings the dragon in for a landing. Dany—a bit surprised at this—follows suit. Girl, you should be worried.

~

But she’s not, of course—at least not for long, because she’s busy being ‘twitterpated’ a’la a typical Disney flick, at the impressive place Jon chose to land—right beside an amazing waterfall. Props to loverboy, this is 10/10 primo scenery on the romance scale.

~

I would like to take a moment here to be petty af and point out that it is Daenerys that says the “we could stay here a thousand years” line—not Jon. And who could forget his super-romantic and witty come-back; complete in his Northern drawl: “we’d be pretty old.”

and Dany’s expression says everything! lol This from Mr. ‘I’d like to see you in a silk dress so I can tear it off you’. Pretty weak, Jon. You’re losing romance points for that!

~

Okay, but all joking aside, because I know a lot of my fellow Jonsas were probably a little put off by this scene; let’s break it down. After Jon’s crappy comeback, Dany moves closer to him, and he says something kind of flirtatious and sweet: “It’s cold up here for a southern girl.”

~

This is actually a very Jon-like thing to say, and I could even see this kind of banter between him and Ygritte. It’s also a very ‘equal’ thing to say—here, where no one is around, and formalities aren’t necessary. After all, had he said, “it’s cold up here for a southern queen,” it wouldn’t have had the same punch, now would it?

~

However, Dany has no interest in being Jon’s equal — even here, alone, her first instinct is to remind Jon she’s the queen: “then keep your queen warm” — not, “then this northern boy better keep her warm”, or “then keep your southern girl warm.” Perhaps I’m reading too much into it, but that’s what hopped out at me.

~

Now the kiss. Sigh. Yes, I’m not gonna lie, it definitely looks like Jon’s into it. But my darling Jonsas, before you’re ready to throw Jon under the bus (as I imagine quite a few of you did while I took an entire week to write up my recap) the parent reveal hasn’t happened yet! Simmer down and find your zen, Jon is not a northern fool!

~

And for you antis lurking around: NO. This doesn’t negate political!jon. Not even a little bit. If political!jon is true, then he’s doing exactly what he committed to do—keeping Dany happy and keeping her North. The unfortunate trade-off is, she’s now their queen.

~

But what do we have here? Drogon seems a little restless, and Jon immediately breaks the kiss, and casts nervous eyes in the dragons direction. (Gods yes, this is so romantic). Dany laughs it off and tells Jon not to be afraid, pulling him back into the kiss. But while she’s all oblivious and lost in the kiss, Jon leans her body sideways and opens his eyes to eyeball Drogon, who’s giving him a look like ‘bitch, I know who you are, and I know what you’re doing. Watch your back.’

~

Is it a wonder why every single Jonerys love scene has been interrupted by weirdness? Bloody birth flashbacks, creepy brother voice-overs, no first kiss, growling stink-eyed Drogon... it’s almost like they’re trying to tell us that this isn’t really a romance.

~

And this is where I leave you, for now. The last part will follow shortly, and NO, I won’t break my future recaps into parts. I only did it this way because myself and half my house are sick.

[firecooking]

☕️ The Love Bug 1997 ☕️ Knight Rider ☕️ Knight Rider 08 ☕️ SeaWorld

☕️ The Love Bug 1997

Jesus this is a Pandora’s box. @merciresolution you caused this

It is my favourite of the Herbie movies, I seriously love this silly film. It feels like it was filmed in the same alternate universe as the Roald Dahlmovies and the character design is stunning. I want the shark car. Herbie is actually in very little of the movie as an actual character, and more of a plot piece (kind of like the transformers movies). But when he is used as a character, he is wonderfully written. Also, like any good forgotten Disney movie, this movie has plenty of WTF moments and Nazi’s [or at least Nazi vague posts]. Did you know Herbie was built as a sentient war car in operation paperclip! Did you want to know that? Who cares it’s technically cannon.

My real favourite part of this beautiful mess is the villains. We have three main villains and I guess technically the guy with the shark car. The guy in the shark car drives this

and he is literally one of the highlights of the film. [He also has the worlds best outfits, we Stan Shark car guy]

Anyways, the other Three are our Big Bads, Simon Moore III [who I thought was named Melvin for longer than I should have], his evil car Horace [who I won’t spoil for anyone who wants to watch the movie], and his PA Rupert [who is a gem played by Dana Gould, he is also a high light of the film].

I literally love the absolute power of the cast as well, we have Dana Gould, the filthiest comedian I can name off the top of my head, playing a criminally under rated character with some of the most damned method acting I’ve seen [the man gained weight and specifically went out of his way to buy padding for his costume, he also has very particular body language in the movie which is some of the best I’ve ever seen[I’ve also seen articles where when he mentions the role, he talks about how he had very specific ideas that Disney didn’t allow, I really want to know what he truly means[I think it was to make Rupert trans, but that’s just me, it would explain some of the body language and the padding but I have trans Hc’s for everything so lets be real here]]]. John Hannah as a crafted Villain that the movie can’t pick a set in stone country for, the entire movie he moves between a British man with a deep Scottish accent and a Scottish man with the worlds weakest Scottish accent, they also made a fake flag for Scotland which is great, when you see it you’ll know, also this is one of the most clearly gay Disney villains I’ve seen in live action, he is literally dismissive of heterosexuality. Ali Wentworth as one of the best written love interests in the entire film series, she can be a bit creepy sometimes but she also is so self aware that she goes right back into in character, I literally love some of her lines. Clarence Williams IIIas the best side gag character I’ve ever seen, his entire character in the 3rd act is completely unneeded but probably one of the best parts. Bruce fucking Campbell and Dean fucking Jones, nuff said.

I’m going to stop rambling now because the others are going to look really short but this movie, man, this movie.

[btw, if anyone wants a higher quality version than the one on YouTube, I can hook you up, it also has good audio unlike the one on YouTube]

☕️ Knight Rider

Literally a early 80′s mess and I love it. Everything from the Hoff’s objectively trash acting [I still love him tho, but Jesus could this guy stop watching William Shatter acting tutorials and pick up a book on how to drive] to the fact the show hypes Ki2T up so much and every time the stunt car is shown it’s failing miserably at it’s task.

Devon Miles is my gay cowboy British grandfather and you can literally pry him from my cold dead hands.

☕️ Knight Rider 08

I still have no clue what’s going on but that car is gay, like, really gay. Honestly that whole show is gay from what I’ve seen. Also that Ki3T’s daddy had a clone kink, I’m just saying.

☕️ S*aW*rld        

Trash

[discordslair]

((Comic Con pics.  Readmore cuz long

Angel Captain America and Angel Winter Soldier

Poison Ivy

Lady Spider-Pool

My brother showing his disdain for this movie.

The disdain continues.

Kim Possible and Shego

My bro found these two thingies funny together.

Red Hood

Fallout Earthbound

Tweek and Craig

Cuphead

The Lizard

Just Monika

Bulma

Dr Angela Ziegler (Mercy)

Keyblade Master Belle

Mrs. Freeze

BotW Link in the Gerudo armor set

Humanized ‘Don’t Hug Me, I’m Scared’ Notepad 

Luke Cage and Jessica Jones

Slade (Deathstroke) and Terra

Static Shock

The Channel 4 News Team from Anchorman: Ron Burgundy, Champ, Brick and Brian 

Humanized Chica Chicken 

Gambit and Rogue. 

My bro and his friend meet WWE Hall of Famer Bubba Ray Dudley

Maria and Prince Peach

Spawn 

Pika-pool  

Punkachu posing with our Pika-Rick

He-man and Maskless Deadpool

Sinestro Corps Batman and Roller Skater Harley Quinn

Empress Kuzco

Wonder Woman and Hippolyta

Natsuki with the creepy black eyes

Pika-Rick close-up

Dr Strange and Scarlet Witch

Nova

Gwenpool and Deadpool

Gizmo Duck

My bro and his friend meet TNA Wrestling Knockout, Velvet Sky

Doodlebob!

My bro and Kairi 

Tracer

Reverse Flash

Bendy

Guzma and a pair of Skull Grunts

My bro and Brentalfloss.  We got to try out his party game, ‘Use Your Words’.  Lotta fun!  I won!

Junkrat Hayseed skin.

Mercy Combat Medic skin and Genji Young skin

The guys from Dodgeball

Sans with portable Papyrus

Genji Oni Skin and Lady McCree

The cast of Aladdin: Prince Ali, Jasmine as Jafar’s slave, Jasmine, Genie, Aladdin, Jafar with Iago

Quail Man

Nightcrawler

Stan and Kyle

Edna Mode

Undyne

Shuri and M’baku

Beetlejuice and Lydia

My bro got his Junkrat Pop signed by Junkrat’s VA

Yuri

2B

Killmonger in Golden Jaguar outfit

Seto Kaiba

Doctor Strange, female edition

Ghost Rider

Velma and Shaggy

Mr Sinister and Doctor Octopus

Gwenom and Spider-Gwen

Half Black suit, half regular suit Spider-Man

Kingpin

Dr Doom

Brook

Kingpin vs Daredevil and Elektra

Joe Dirt

Mr. Knight

Pharah

Pink Tracer and McCree

Super Baby

Male Hela

Witch King of Angmar

She-Hulk Hogan

Funtime Foxy

...just a straight up box of Junior Mints

Moon Knight, Nick Fury and Storm

Gwenpool and Zenpool

Lt. Hopper and a Demogorgon

Maximillian Pegasus

Rorshach Horseman

April O’Neil

Six

Mileena

Spinnerette

Iron Man and War Machine

My bro’s Spinarak-Man commission

My Bro’s friend’s Zubatman commission

Female Thor

Frozone

Princess Peach, Princess Daisy, and a lil Princess Rosalina

Red Power Ranger

Esmerelda

Robin and Spoiler

A Clicker

Red Riot

Spider-man 2099

Rocket Raccoon

Ice Cream Man Mr Freeze

Same as previous, but his flavors available

Zombie Magneto and Headpool

Punk Daenerys Targaryen

And lastly, the same Spinnerette but with a Captain America Spider-man

Not pictured:  My Sans plushie.

[ts-akhmim]

Episode 7 “It's a Hot Mess Express “ - Scott

People are so hard to work with. I get they don't like this challenge truly I do but I just wish they wouldn't keep shutting down every idea I had. It's... annoying. I get that I'm also the problem here. Because if an entire room full of people is saying you're wrong then you're probably wrong but still. I dislike being shut down. I've just been feeling kind of isolated since my name was written down. Even in my own alliance it seems like everyone thinks less of me for being paranoid. It doesn't help that I'm not entirely pop culture savvy so a lot of their convos I'm a bit out of the loop on. Part of me wonders if it's cause I'm in a male dominated environment? I don't think they are sexist but I do think that I'm being unintentionally ignored. Like throughout the duration of this confessional I have submitted 6 ideas/comments to the group and they've either been left in the dust or dismissed. That has to mean something right? Is it my personality? Did I come on too strong with my enthusiasm? Do they think I'm bossy? Socializing doesn't exactly come naturally to me. If anyone had met me 4 years ago you'd probably be in the know. You know that ability where you can pick up what people imply, whether through body language or through hidden meanings. I don't. I literally was born with out that ability and it has done whatever the opposite of wonders are for my life. At first I thought it was fine, I thought hey no big, everything is good, people like me eventually. But then I played Malaysia... A lot of great things came out of that game, a lot of good friendships and memories but in a way it sort of haunts me. When the confessionals came out, for the first time ever I saw what people thought about me. Sure they liked me eventually but they also disliked me. Like really really didn't like me at all. It was my first real interaction with people outside of the treatment school I went to, it was my first real interaction with the rest of the world and people hated my guts. Don't get me wrong I always suspected I was disliked but... to see their actual written thoughts on paper was hard. Of course as they got to know me they started to like me but I couldn't forget that it wasn't always like that. That at one point they looked at me or their screen or whatever and saw a pest. And that's my biggest fear, that I'm the problem. That no matter where I go people see me and are filled with dread or disgust. That people are always wishing me some from of ill because I'm bad at conversation or sort of creepy. Well at least they came to their own conclusions now, maybe they pulled their heads out of their asses or because it wasn't me they were actually able to function. God this spiraled, I only wanted to complain about how shitty my tribe was being not go on this full blown existential rant. Fuck me am I right? I'm not sure what this is going to contribute to the game. There is no hashtag big moves or fun comments but like I already typed this up so I'm not going to delete it like a pussy. 

Ok now we can talk whew. UMMMM not Connor fucking up Duncan's perfect record! Now that I'm over the shock, thank you Connor because I'm 95% sure that obsession is the reason Duncan did the most to make sure Devon voted me instead of him back on Thoth https://giphy.com/gifs/mamovie-stalking-octavia-spencer-eavesdropping-j5uEVYERR0ncYlJ36e Really pleased with how the game is shaping up tbh, assuming I don't lose another music video challenge hahaha. I would LOVE a final 3 with me, Ali, and Devon but I know that's a long way off so I'm just focusing on the here and now. My biggest concern is protecting Ali. Essentially Duncan hit me up to work with him, TJ, and Jordan and I was very much like lol not sure about that. Mainly because Jordan and I don't have a strong relationship? And Duncan was like yeah but he wants to get to know you better and I'm like https://giphy.com/gifs/week-wtf-moments-QjIz1AqkGTszK If that's the case, that needs to come from Jordan and then it's between me and Jordan. Why someone else is interceding on Jordan's behalf is very dicey to me but I'm not that surprised because that continues to be a theme with Duncan: getting me to fit into plans that best suit him. Y'all know DAMN well Jordan Pines don't wanna go to the end with me and the feeling is mutual. But I HAVE to make it work with Jordan or Duncan will get pissy. He literally was like ok well who are you close with and I felt a serious feeling in my gut to not mention Ali. So I said oh I talk to Adam a lot but I wouldn't say I trust Adam. So after telling Ali all of this lmao, we decided I needed to go back to Duncan and say yes because it would keep me in the know and keep both of us safe. Also it allows me to keep an eye on Jordan and Duncan at the same time so we truly stan. And the gag is I'm not scared of Jordan Pines and I welcome the challenge of getting him out so love yall for letting me in through the front door hahaha My new issue is just timing. We'll be ok if we win this next challenge but if not, I could see that alliance targeting Ali. Obviously I have a plan and will put the vote on someone else but I really want to prolong turning on that group for as long as I can. I don't wanna spook TJ and I know killing Jordan will leave me with a pissed Duncan and I really don't need that based on how seriously he's playing. So I'm hoping I can finesse somehow? Maybe one of them gets idoled out at merge and then a blindside on the other won't be as messy. But yeah I keep feeling like the walls are closing in, in terms of allies, and I'm working HARD to make sure I have an exit strategy at all times haha cause fuck these men I'm trying to win again. I "love everyone" which means I have no problem voting out anyone

So let me just make sure i got this right, connor tried to get people to vote for me, they all told me, he "planned" with me to go for liam, then....he votes for duncan and he goes home unanimously? little did he realize when he went around and gave a feeble attempt at rallying people to vote for me, i had already rallied everyone to go for him and made sure everyone knew he was a liar and couldnt be trusted, you know im a firm believer in loose lips sink ships and i absolutely used my big mouth as my weapon to sink his ship. Even if there turns out to be some majority alliance that did this all without me then well...i guess that's another story but im still taking my hard earned credit because either way i got what i wanted one way or another so im here for it, sorry gal! i now find myself in a position i hope i can make some moves with, duncan already just made a vague to comment to me about how "it only takes 4 now" which he's right, and he mentioned autumn, himself, me, and ali. Which, that's a 4 I would love to go forward with for the time being, i like to think ive had good genuine talks with them 3 in particular, and now we can start get together maybe lock something in and if we make it to a merge or even another swap we at least have something to work with with each other, but we'll see, we gotta focus on immunity first now, id love to win just to for sure see any of the other people who lied to me go home oop so while i may be feeling ok now i just have to remember to simmer down and play smart and make the right connections with the right people i need and saying the right things to whomever needs to hear it, because that's what i do best in these type of games to stay alive, i feel like my intuition has been leading me ok so far this game so im just gonna keep basing my decisions off that and charging forward PERIOD and ill damn sure do it with or without the help of the tomb because a bitch can not get in ive tried over and OVER at this point im back to pounding on the door of it just hoping if im annoying enough yall will let me in!

i'll do a proper game confessional later but me and dan are both judges for the svalbard music video challenge and its so sad that we cant talk... its like... this could be us working on a music video if things were different kjlsdfa its missing dan and jake hours

Whew! Sorry about that what happened was I ran out of anxiety meds a few days and that rant was the commutation of being with out sanity pills for three days! Everything is fine! I am fine! People are fine! I am sorry to the future Thoth 2.0 tribe, you are all great, I just get very spirally when I am without some sort of stabilizing force! Sorry to the hosts for using this as a diary this is not a diary this is survivor... Anyway this time I have some more constructive things to add! Okay so things are fine. Dan and I continue to bond, though he had to call me out on being bad at communication in order for our relationship to progress. I get it was like a check point or whatever and frankly I appreciated it. Like I said in my rant yesterday I have massive paranoia when comes to interacting with people and whether they like me or not, so constructive feedback while annoying is always helpful. Plus through research I found that he values a good social game so the fact that he's reaching out and telling me what I'm doing wrong is probably a sign that I'm not a lost cause :D. It turns out we have a few mutual friends our lord and savior John Coffey and also Sarah,... Lynn to be specific there are like a shit ton of Sara(h)s so should probably clarify lol. I want to work with him. I know he's in the majority alliance with the brawn tribe, which also contains Jakey and Jordan. Considering the fact that the beauties are slowly but surely getting eliminated, their favor would be helpful to me and mine. However, I know for sure that one of them wrote my name down. Honestly probably both of them. I know I keep harping on this fact but I just really really don't like the idea of looking like an idiot by aligning with someone who wanted me dead or wanted to fuck with me. If we do lose this challenge we are going to have to figure out who to keep or who to eliminate, I feel like it should be between those two. Mostly because I'm not exactly comfortable with a brawn majority. Like I know how people are saying tribe lines don't matter and while they don't, advantages do. And what more advantageous than being in a majority alliance? If we get rid of a brawn that would make it 4 brains- 4 beauty - 5 brawn. Which seems a bit more fair lol. Also RIP Connor remember how I said he was a threat? Welp I guess this is why they don't ask me for cast assessments :/ and also cause I was dead for like several years.

absolutely nothing has happened in fact i was kinda in a ~mood~ today so i feel like my social game took a big L because i didnt feel like talking to anyone and i was busy so i kept being that bitch to responding once an hour ..... but in other news i finally accessed the tomb, and once i started using more than one brain cell at a time i was able to get in and it was actually about 10x easier than i was making it out to be im not sure WHY i was struggling so much but of course, to no surprise i finally get in and the pedestal is empty AGAIN. Now there's not only at least 1 idol from the last time i went in the tomb gone, but there's possibly a second too, if not an advantage that can easily be played against me. At this point all i can do is try and recover a little bit, tomorrow ill have to just try more with my conversations and hopefully one of the people i can somewhat trust is the person who has whatever was in their time time around but probably not, it's never that easy

okay so i have a video confessional from earlier uploading which is kind of a recap of the last two rounds BUTTT!! liam just finished editing our video and i love it!! he did so good and our tribe all tried our best... im just hoping the other tribe didn't go bananas all out, because if they didn't we should hopefully win... i really wanna win immunity because otherwise i feel like adam is gonna be the vote and i dont want that anymore KJASDFA. i would just be sad because idk who the alternative would even be.... so basically we better win immunity KJLSADFA

Me: Alright everyone, make sure you film horizontally!!! Devon: Fuck you

Honestly!!! I take back what i said about Kendall. I feel like we’re making some strides to work together??? Or she’s playing me? I’m hoping to stir a Devon vote this round because I think he threw the vote on Kendall to piss me off, but who knows. I wanna talk to Jakey and see what he thinks about a me/him/augusto/Amir alliance to get through this vote? Idk I trust him but who knows!!!! Maybe everyone is lying to me??? 

okay... i know i said god is a woman and her name is autumn but its time for the remix. god is a woman and her name is alyssa's mum because alyssa's mum just rescued us from defeat in that challenge JKASDF the judges were kinda unnecessarily harsh but we move on. basically for the other tribe's tribal, i hope jake/dan/devon live... hopefully another scary old school person goes but tbh who knows what is going to happen?! im just so happy to have made f13, i said i'd come 14th in my intro so we love surpassing my own expectations

the immunity challenge went well, we won, which is good because i just didnt feel like going to tribal council because im honestly unsure what the hell is going on, i wanted to feel good about the connor vote because obviously that was my plan from the start however he just made it a little too easy by not talking to a lot of people allegedly, up until right before the vote, i dont think there'd be an easy vote next time we go to tribal, unless ... it's me... am i the easy vote?? i wanna really think im not but its just always too quiet to me when we dont go to tribal there's also lots of talk and speculation about a possible merge at 13, but me and my vivid imagination aka paranoia think maybe another swap of some sort could still happen even if for just another round or 2, i never knew with you sneaky hosts!! also i know we won in the challenge but we wouldve won in the challenge by even more if liam used more footage of my video i sent in i feel like i got no screentime!!! but of course i kept my big mouth shut for once because there's no i in team so ill try not to throw too much of a diva fit but listen... i tried to give yall a DEATH DROP, and i pulled a wig ruveal by snatching off my hat, and i was giving you a whole tik tok dance i made myself..... but there was no way i was doing more than beyonce's part so he didnt have much to work with so touche .... the full version i made will just be deleted scenes for myself ill reflect on when im more mature and think to myself "what the fuck was i doing?" 

So not to my surprise, we end up losing the challenge AGAIN!! I've just accepted that I really don't have any luck in this game. I was really hoping that we'd just win every challenge until the merge because I'm over going to tribal and voting people out. I feel like going to the amount of tribal councils that I have has left a huge target on my back. But at the same time, I'm playing the game more than other are. Maybe I have that going for me, who knows. Anyways, the Thots alliance is deciding on either Devon or Dan for this vote. I basically told them I was good with either, even though I would perfer to keep Devon so that I at least have more of an opportunity to rebuild our relationship. I've made it very clear that if the group as a whole wanted to do Devon that I'd write his name down to prove that I trust this group moving forward. So we decide to go with Dan for this vote, and this doesn't really sit well with Jakey. I'm not surprised by that, since I know he's wanted Kendall out for awhile now. But he is really adamant that he doesn't want Dan to go. Which I get, he thinks that Dan would trust him moving forward. When it comes to Dan though, his social game lacks so much that it's like "I don't even know if I can trust him moving forward". And I think the fact that Jakey more so wants to target Kendall this round instead of Dan is a strong sign for me. I'm pretty positive he has an idol since the brain one has been found and he's lied to me about clues before. So this has me thinking, maybe it's a good time to get Jakey out this round? Thinking about it numbers wise for the future, we don't really need Jakey's vote for a majority this round since the four beauties and myself makes 4, and if we bring in Devon that's 5. Plus, I don't even think that Jakey's under the impression that he would... get voted out this round. He seems offly confident that he's staying, just that Dan's going. But I like to think he'd let Dan be a sinking ship and go.. Idk I'm gonna try to pitch this to Amir and see what he thinks. I kind of tried to hint around it to Augusto that Jakey wasn't cool with it, but Augusto kind of turned a blind eye at that. And I don't trust Kendall with my thoughts since she's very blunt... so I wouldn't be surprised if she leaked my plans. Similarly to what Devon did when I voted him out last week. I'm hoping that Amir will see where I'm coming from and that he might be open to that concept. For all I know, I could be voted out this round. And honestly, that'd be the smart move for them to make because my perception in the game so far has been pretty spot on. I think my self awareness this time around has been an asset for me, so I'm hoping that I can get by this vote and hopefully enter the merge soon. 

Coming back into the game, I knew I needed to open up a bit and start to Slither earlier than I would imagine. After throwing a vote onto Kendall, I broke down any chance between the Beauty and Brawn working together to knock out myself and Scott. I haven't told anyone about my vote, and don't plan to. Going into this vote, Dan should be the obvious choice. OG Brawn hasn't suffered any additional losses in numbers, and I'm just too close with Augusto/Amir/Kendall to consider flipping. In preparation of tonight NOT being a swap, I established an alliance with Amir and Augusto. They are a duo in every sense, but attaching myself to them sets up the opportunity to at least CONSIDER voting out Scott next round. It would have to be between him and Scott. 

All I got to say is oof… I genuinely thought I was on vacation after the last round like I’ve been SO bad about talking to people or at least that’s how I felt cause I was operating at 60% instead of the 110% I do when I socialize. That being said, I have my goals that I want to stick to and see happen. Dan needs to leave this tribal so I can get Jakey out next even if Dan leaving makes me really sad. Dan leaving takes a number away from the Brawn and a number away from Jakey, who I am able to get out by keeping Devon and having him/Kendall/myself/Amir vote for him if we happen to lose again. The alliance of me/Kendall/Amir/Jakey/Scott went on call last night and it was deadass an hour and a half long call where everyone was like “idk who should go but I’m fine with whatever” although… that certainly wasn’t the case. I, personally, made points that were pro-Devon such as Devon not having any clear allies to reunite with at merge and things like that and EVENTUALLY at the last 5 minutes of the call, we decided that Dan leaving is the better option. Scott and I even discussed a Brawn having to go before we even did the call so yeah. One thing I could tell though? Jakey was not having it. I understand his frustration but you can’t have your cake and eat it too. I voted out AJ to prove that I am not here to play by tribal lines and you said you would do the same but here we are… Amir called me last night telling me about how Jakey was trying to strong arm him into voting Devon out because Jakey didn’t want to do Dan… like sir, I’m? I’m very happy that Amir came to me and confided in me to kinda spill out his emotions like that makes me <3 but it also made me wanna pop off at Jakey because I don’t like those approaches in games hgfjdks even if I do really like Jakey, I was just ugh gjfdks. That aside, I feel like I am doing good about getting information and building friendships out here like I’m DEADASS is almost every single alliance on the tribes I’ve been a part of and while I don’t get tons of info from direct sources (ie. Jakey), I get the information from close allies (ie. Amir) which in a way can be even better? That being said, I’ve been way too good at forming friendships that every vote makes me feel really bad? With Dan for example, I adore that man like even if he isn’t the most talkative he’s just amazing. But does Dan benefit my game as much as Devon? Not really, even if Dan wanted to align. I’m sticking to my promise of doing what I have to do and be a little bit more cutthroat than I usually am because I do genuinely want to win this game and I’ll do what it takes to get there. Honestly, I’d be SHOOK if we do not merge next round or the round after ghfjdksm but I’m just trying to plan ahead and look at my connections. My Thoth connections are Amir > Kendall > Devon > Scott > Jakey whereas my Hathor connections are Autumn > Duncan > Adam (?) > TJ > Jordan > Liam M > Ali. If we do merge, making a secret thing with Autumn would be KEY just to have another person in my corner but also I need to connect with a Brawn to be good with them yknow? It’ll definitely be interesting and I can see the merge being messier than a taco bell bathroom BUT I’m hyped at the same time?

How is it already Day 16? There seems to be something seriously wrong with that. Anywho, I've let myself take a quick step back on the social game these last few days. I think I've put in the work to cement a couple strong groups here and can put myself in a good spot, but now I can avoid being the person that probably would be seen as a huge threat in the near future. Once merge hits (which I'm hoping is this next round), I'm going to have to go back to bringing that social game to a 9 (10 is where the Alyssa threat level begins), but right now I'm hopefully putting myself in a good place. In the event we don't have a merge and have one more vote on Hathor, I really think I need to make a move on Ali. I realize I keep saying this and I'm going to feel awful when he sees this all, but he is such a HUGE threat, and I can't let him skate by to where there's no room to stop him. I made that mistake last time in letting the person I knew would win get too far without me being able to stop them. Not this time. Ain't no fucking way.

This may very well be my last confessional lmao. I’m just feeling very paranoid about this vote and honestly I wouldn’t be surprised if everyone votes for me except for Jakey. Or if he even flips to the majority against me. And honestly! I’ve come to terms with it. I really tried my best in the game and I can’t be mad about how I performed in this game specifically. I understand I’m a threat in these games and if people are worried about me end game, quite frankly they should be. I know that I’ve played Tumblr Survivor one too many times and should have quit while I was ahead. I know I’ve talked about working with Kendall and killing Devon, but honestly idk who is voting where. I think I’m going to try to just go with what I think is majority (against Kendall) and just hope to god I’m not going anywhere. I hate having this defeatist attitude, but if I get voted out I’m going to have zero hard feelings and take it in stride. I guess I’m just not cut out to win tumblr survivor ❤️

Our video was so iconic, SHOUT OUT TO ALYSSA'S MOM!!! I should really be making sure im fortifying the bonds i've made but im really just happy to be on break and not have tribal. I've only been to tribal once within a 7 day time span instead of the 4 times in 7 days the brains endured before. I will say i was positively shook to get the vote from connor, but i never thought i could play a perfect game anyways lol. I'm hoping to god that dan or jakey go, i dont want the brawns over here to have other options than autumn and i come merge. Im surprised at myself because im starting to really want to stick with all these people come a merge, i suppose we'll see how it goes and how my attitude changes moving forward. 

Sooooooo I actually felt kind of bad about voting for Dan until he was throwing my name out :/ I guess you can't teach an old dog new tricks. I'm kind of nervous now. Like Jakey told me this and he did the same thing to AJ. Also I haven't heard anything from Scott yet... that's sketchy right? Ugh I swear if I'm voted out then Alyssa's mom, I will meet you in the Denny's Parking lot for a fight. I'm not afraid to throw hands at the elderly, ask Drew. 

We love when men listen to me an in turn we win immunity! This is now the second time that's happened lmao cause I sure did make everyone commit to a time block so we didn't play ourselves in the endurance challenge and I sure did suggest Telephone as the song choice so wooooo Not a lot has happened and I don't have a lot of time to talk to begin with but I have a strong feeling we are not merging tonight lmao. Tbh I look forward to another day on Hathor it's very chill over here, all things considered. Also I need a couple chill challenges the next two rounds cause ya girl is moving, graduating, and leading an underground movement all at the same time so don't set me up with a crazy time-consuming challenge lol

I feel vindicated. Starting off in this game, I was not doing so well gameplay wise. Flash forward, I've been a big contributor physically, and socially too! I've got big plans, and I will carry this tribe again if I have to!

(may've already submitted this but i'm worried i submitted it for day 18?)

Also...

ok let me just start by saying: im in an emotionally FRAGILE state at the moment writing this right after the winners at war finale.....SPOILERS IF YOU HAVENT SEEN BUT I HAVE TO SAY IT....NATALIE AND WINCHELE ROBBED, as inspired as i am by my aries sistren natalie and think she should've won, im even more upset for my fellow beauty sister michele because lowkey? i absolutely LOVE the way michele plays, because in my own head at least i like to think i at least play slightly similar, i like to lay low and just adapt to where i see i can fit the best, anywho thats all ill say on that, back to THIS game dan being voted out last round, was kinda meh, i had the tiniest conversation with him during one world and he did end up giving me some tea about the brawns, but i couldve easily tried working with him later on against the beauties, PLUS him leaving means that none of those false beauties left, which is bad for me because i want them all gone oop and ive worked hard over here trying to make sure everyone knows they are threats even if theyre not working together, they went against me and lied to me, which means i cant trust them or work with them, which means i need to make sure no one else does either it's very nice though duncan has approached me and asked who i was comfortable with incase we did go to tribal and he said him and jordan pines were pretty close and honestly jordan is the only one ive been on a call with this whole game which is fine because anyone who knows me knows i dont care for calls much in this game and that usually hurts me so im hoping its not hurting me this time but truly, im not sure people are approaching me way more with information and plans then they ever have so im hoping thats a good sign, espcially with duncan saying he basically wanted me to be in the know with him, i think i can trust him as of now going foward and i hope the same about jordan pines, because first of all i love his energy and him as a person my fellow stoner crackhead, and second of all let's be real i definitely want to use him as a shield later on cmon the guy has a season named after him, forget denise being the queen slayer, i want to be the king tamer also in good with ali and autumn i think?? i personally enjoy my short little convos i have with them frequently so i just hope we're on the same page, but idk the little voice in the back of my head is telling me it all seems too good to be true almost like a perfect illusion and maybe duncan is tricking me trying to talk to me about "keeping this tribe strong", so i guess we'll have to wait until the next time we go to a tribal together to find out so yeah in conclusion, sorry to dan, and plot twist of the century im rooting for jakey to not be voted out the other tribe? even though im still convinced he could be making me his number 1 target especially if he gets in kahoots with kendall, but im hoping i played them against each other enough during the one world so that didnt happen 

What do ya know....another tribal council. After only being exempt from one tribal, this has become somewhat of a routine. I am extremely confident in the numbers this round. I'm under the belief that everyone will be writing down Jake's name, and Jake will likely be writing down my/Kendall's name. Still, I believe there is a worry about idols. I would hate to be idoled out by Jake after everything I have worked towards...I can't afford to throw my vote on Kendall or Scott with the merge coming up so soon, because it fractures my game going into a potential merge...Somewhat of a "all or nothing" bet tonight.

Me @ the brawns who have been on this tribe: https://media.giphy.com/media/szPZ2NXIGCMcE/giphy.gif

So a couple new developments: 1. Jordan offered me a final two which I'm sooooo excited to see how that's going to turn out. I've really connected with Jordan this game (which admittedly I didn't think would happen before this game), but he's been the person I've confided in the most out here. So I really think this is going to be the start of something amazing. 2. With this F2 deal, Jordan told me that Amir/Jakey knew each other outside of this game. This is bad for me both because Jakey is supposed to be my other guy with Jordan, but also Amir is the person I'd want to target come merge (which should be next round). I have zero connection to him, he's proven to be good at comps, he's won this game before, and he doesn't add into my plan of having numbers on every side. So now I'm in a spot where I think I'll probably have to make a move against potentially my closest / other closest ally in this game. Being safe right before the potential merge feels amazing and opens a lot of opportunities, but is extremely scary knowing who is going to merge. Hopefully come to merge, I have a chance at the merge idol to avoid anyone else having the chance at getting it, because I need some added knowledge in this game.

I am so fucking pissed at Devon. WHY ARE YOU ON THE BRAINS IF YOU HAVE NO BRAIN CELLS!!!!!!! dsfjkaafkjdaldjfjadksjads Great now I get to die!

I don't know why Jakey wants to kill me. I am not a threat. Like at all? Most of the strategies I come up with are bad and I am barely social? Sure I guess I can win like a challenge or two but not enough to be physical? I mean I'm trying to kill him but like... honestly he started it 2 rounds ago. I am a paper tiger worse I am a paper giraffe. Sure I'm tall but basically harmless and only sort of evil. At least I remember why I hated him so much. I don't hate him NOW, I'm 22 years old I have better things to do then hate some guy for trying to win a game. But I am annoyed and inconvenienced by this. Maybe a little hurt too because the only reason I can think to get voted out is because my personality sucks so much that he doesn't see a future where we can work together. Which is fair I guess? But I can't be that awful right? God this game is a constant existential crisis... Also I think people are annoyed with me for being paranoid and shit. Oh I'm sorry people who's name isn't getting written down, I'm sorry I'm not more pleasant while I'm in fear for my metaphorical life. 

It’s a MESS ITS A FUCKING MESS SCOTTIE WANTS DAN OUT DAN WANTS DEVON JAKEY WANTS DEVON DEFON WANTS DAN AUGUSTO AND KENDALL WANT JAKEY AMIR WANTS NOT JAKEY OR AUGUSTO OR KENDALL I literally don’t have number in this game and I’m going to get fucked on at the merge 

Okay so Augusto basically told him that his name was an option for this vote or the next one and Kendall told him that the brawns are bringing up his name and said that he was the throw away vote So now my gut is telling me dan did it and jakey was in on it But I don’t care, if that’s the case Everyone on this tribe wants a brawn out, EVERYONE I just have to make sure it’s not jakey Because Augusto and Kendall want jakey now and I refuse it Rn it seems they r okay doing dan It seems everyone is cool doing dan So I’m happy with that

Jakey is fucking strong arming me r u joking Ndbdjdjsns Jakey talked to scottie And got scottie to want devon So now they’re gonna try and call the alliance tmmrw and change to vote back to devon over dan And if Augusto and Kendall don’t want to Jakey wants to pull brain and brawn to vote kendall like sir I’m literally getting strong armed, and he can’t see why people want dan out I could make a move rn But should I even I probably shouldn’t If they try to get kendall I will flip it on him 

don’t know what to do I’m pleading so hard with jakey rn like hey it’s not good for me to go into merge with 6 brawn 4 beauty (dysfunctional) and 3 brain (dysfunctional) And I said I want to do dan is that okay like jakey u need to choose a side, brawns, or this tribe And he goes If u decide to do dan Then I’m gonna unite dan and Scott and Devon and vote kendall So if that’s the case, I’m sending u home theres no way around it then

Throw back to last night when I hung up on jakey to call Augusto and told jakey that I was taking a shower but literally I was gone for an hour and needed an excuse fast so I told him i shaved my ass call that strategic ass shaking 

Okay so this tribal. Everyone on my tribe thinks jakey is evil and he’s just going to go back to the brawn tribe, which is like, wtf, he literally voted in minority on purpose and gave us leverage on him. Like he literally has put himself on the line multiple times. He ratted out the brawn majority over and over. Like jakey is not loyal to the brawns on the other side at all. The people on this tribe don’t give a shit and my opinion isn’t being heard at all, Kendall won’t budge and Augusto won’t budge, and Scott wants to keep devon. Can I just say scott is a rat, he is playing every single person. Jakey trusted him soooo much . Anyway, everyone wants jakey out for literallt no reason and jakey trusts me 100% and jakey is the best way to get info from the brawns on the other side. Anyway, KDJDKSN KDNDKD we are getting dirty. Jakey has an idol. And I told him he was the vote and I made it sound like it’s all Scott’s decision cuz I’m really tight with Kendall and Augusto, so now, jakey wants to idol out Scott Basically, it’s time for a cluster fuck and it’s time for chaos So at merge jakey and I will play from Opposite sides

so jakey fking tried to flip the vote and he blew up the 5 person alliance to devon and hes fucking up my game so much nkwejfnkew god maybe i will try and get him out at merge even tho i love him, i basically had to ccreate this narrative that jakey thinks that me jakey scott and devon are voting kendall but jakey is actually voting out scott jesus christ thi round gave me a migraine i have a case of the lie-abetes

I- there's nothing else to say hahaha the boys don't even talk game. So when I know something y'all will know something

People are paranoid as hell about a merge. What is there to be paranoid about, honestly? I've just tried to come into this game and have a good time and I think I've achieved that. No one is really looking at me as a threat right now, and there's still plenty of time left to play.

okay so i filmed a video confessional earlier which i will upload but adam just woke me up to the fact that we might be merging tonight?! which is so exciting and kinda crazy.... and the days line up with montenegro for us to be merging... at merge i think all my "laying low" can finally be for something and i can transition the bonds i've been making into making stuff happen. i've also been hosting a game during these quarantine times and i've realised people that do too much making SUCH deep bonds during the early stages become the people the jury is mad at in the endgame. i feel like im the middle ground, people feel close to me (and I would like to think I've come across as likable) without everyone thinking im their soul sister closest ally. at merge i think my "close" people who i can somewhat rely on are: autumn, jake, dan(?), jordan(?) and adam? like i have a core of people with various connections, which gives me some cover. its just about then feeling out the rest and seeing who i can trust amongst the rest... particularly the unknowns of augusto/kendall/scott/amir (assuming they are all at merge). like that is going to be the most important part of the merge stage for me, is figuring out which of them i can trust (and i do think dan and/or jake's opinions can help with this, because brainstorming with autumn helped me figuring out this hathor swap tribe).

i'm excited for merge... i do think i have early juror written all over me but i am also very excited. its time to emerge from the shadows and stumble my way into the light

live fast die young merge boots do it well. i literally am a clown, i got excited by my guess going so well and now i literally am a target the size of the sun exclusively because of my own actions what was i thinking KJASDFA honestly at this point? i embrace it, i push the 'im a shield' narrative and i trot on my little trotters to being mayor of ponderosa. this season i chopped of my own head so will not be the winner and the king, but hopefully i can be a kingmaker? also if me winning the tiebreak sends jake home i literally will be so unspeakably frustrated with myself i will literally... scream. HE PROBS HATES ME. i'm praying he lives i will feel so bad if he doesnt KLASDF

i literally... can not believe i am so stupid my lack of braincells really boggles my mind

So I was really hoping that we would win this challenge today because I like everyone on this tribe. But of course with my luck in this game, we lose AGAIN. And it's a shame because I like the Thots Alliance and i feel bad voting out Devon. I know he's someone who trusts me and although I don't 100% trust him, I know that he's someone I can depend on. Plus he makes a really good goat at the end, so it'll make winning more of an obstacle for me without him there. To my surprise however, Kendall and Augusto approach me with the idea of voting out Jakey. I really like Jakey and I practically see him as my #1 here, so voting him out would be difficult for me to do as well. We've discussed the idol together, he gave me his CBS all access account info to watch the finale, and hes one of the very few smart people in this game. So on a personal level, this is a hard decision to make. However, from a game perspective, it might be the right call. Jakey's setting himself up to be a swing vote at the merge, and the fact that he campaigned for Dan to stay and was adamant on not voting him out shows that. When it comes to Devon and I, I would prefer to not vote Devon out but if I needed to in order to show that I trust an alliance moving forward I would. So the fact that Jakey doesn't see it like that is alarming to me. In addition to that, I know that Jakey has lied to me multiple times in this game. He purposefully gave me the wrong idol clue for one of the matches, and when I called him out on it he bluffed it up. On top of that, I know for a fact that he voted for Kendall during the AJ vote. And the fact that he's trying to play it off on Devon goes to show the lengths he would go to make sure he controls everything. And on top of that, he wants us all to tell Devon straight up that he's going. Like... did he not learn from my story when I tried to do that? It can't happen. From a game perspective, voting out Jakey is the more logical choice to make. He can navigate better in a group of people and is aware of whats going on. Devon on the other hand, doesn't even know where the idol is or how to look for it. Devon is someone who you can take into a merge and know what he's going to do. Jakey is more unpredictable. And I wouldn't be surprised if he tried to rally up troops to blindside me when that time came. From a personal perspective, I prefer that Devon goes just because of the lack of trust between us and the fact that I don't ever see myself fully trusting him. Sadly I have to lose this battle in order to win the war at the end. So I'm going to vote Jakey out tonight and really hope that it doesn't come to bite me in the but or that he doesn't play his idol (i know he has one, its obvious with how paranoid he's been)

Guess I’m gonna cry because we lost… by a tiebreaker… it was sad. I feel especially awful because had I not made the mistake of repeating a name on my list during my 8th guess, we could’ve very well have won… but no one needs to know that! It just blows because going into a potential merge in a 7-5 scenario is NOT it. Plus like, their only vote was a unanimous vote for Connor which like… love Connor, but a rock could vote Connor out. I wanted to see tension, I wanted to see idols played, I wanted to see hands thrown, I wanted to see lines drawn, and I wanted to see messiness but all I ended up seeing? Disappointment. I hate it here deadass (‘:

Aside from being kinda sad we lost, I do feel super secure. Last round, I wanted Dan to leave to get rid of Brawn numbers and have the best chance to get Jakey out and now I have that! I know Amir is on the fence but I know Kendall and Devon would be all for it (Scott is as well, but I didn’t really know how much he’d be about it until this round) so it needs to happen. While I adore Jakey as a person and we’ve connected a lot, our strategic games don’t align at all since he doesn’t tell me much of anything? Most of his info goes to Amir or Scott and I’m being selfish here but I want all the tea (‘: plus him playing double agent with the Brawns at merge is not what I need if we’re going into the merge with not enough numbers. Not only that but Adam is a wildcard in terms of if he’ll work with me or not but Jakey being there with us makes it so Adam wouldn’t want to so there’s that. Girl… i sound like a whole ass gamebot wtf ghfdjnms

It’s so weird like I am extremely proud of the game I am playing but I still feel inadequate as a player? I know I shouldn’t compare myself to others because I’m ME but my two closest allies (Kendall, Amir) are playing so much better? Amir is able to get all the tea in the world and form those important game connections which I don’t feel like I can yknow? With Kendall, she is just so bold (and beautiful) with her gameplay in a way I could never like she doesn’t mind being the secondary target, she talks to everyone and talks game with everyone, and stuff like that. So in a way, I’m probably not a major threat to people because those two icons are here BUT I also don’t know if that’ll make me seen like a non-factor… that’s just how I feel going into merge and it’s kinda mehhh idk ;-;

MERGE IS COMING. TOnight actually, people are speculating, but im the only one with the certainty that its tonight and im feeling wonderful. I think if I play my cards right Im gonna have a lot of options come merge. God pending Kendall does not die tonight (hopefully her beauties keep her alive) im gonna suggest we secret pair beware this shit and tsart working from opposite sides to keep each other safe. That will allow me to pick of people Im not working with, while hopefully ensure that people im not with who are with her will be detered from targeting me. Thats my plan but who knows what the true dynamics of merge will be. Ive been playing quiet so far but im about to become the star of teh show, my ego just cant take it.

i really feel like by getting a five i got jake voted out and i want to scream i literally am gonna be out for blood if he goes

[alirhi]

I figured if I just add the next chunk onto the original post, I don't have to come up with a title 😂 So here... Here's what happened next in this dumb, self-indulgent fantasy I've been writing... (about the hotel weirdness: I didn't know wtf to do with her, okay? lmao)

The next morning was awkward. It seemed with the dawn of a new day, all the previous day's intimacy had vanished. Sebastian was kind enough to let her shower and to cook her breakfast, and they made stilted, uncomfortable small talk. Something seemed to be weighing on him, but with everything so strained between them, Ali dared not ask. They shared a quick, chaste kiss at the door, where she quietly reiterated her promise not to tell anyone anything he'd shared with her - including where he lived - and then she left. While the night before she'd been content to cuddle with him forever, everything was so weird that morning that she honestly couldn't get the hell out of there fast enough. Every step farther away from him was both a relief and a stab through the heart.

"So, did you give it to him?"

Ali flinched, gaping at her sister as reality finally fully crashed back down on her head. "What?"

The other woman sighed. "You didn't even find him, did you? Maybe I should try-"

"No." She shook her head, still feeling a bit haunted as she thought back over the past twenty-four hours. "No, I found him. I met him. But I forgot to give it to him."

"Ugh, neechan! What did you do, say 'hi' and then chicken out? Did you freak out like you did with Tom and just not say anything at all?"

"I slept with him." The words tumbled out of her mouth unbidden, and she had to fight not to break down in tears.

Ciara snorted, rolling her eyes. "Yeah. Sure you did." Something in Ali's expression must have clued her in that her big sister wasn't joking, because suddenly her dark eyes went huge and she gaped at the redhead. "You what?! Are you fucking serious?!"

"All day," she confirmed, voice flat to cover the depth of the emotions raging through her. "And half the night. I mean, other stuff happened; some talking, some cuddling, we ordered pizza... I hope I didn't fuck up his diet too bad. His 'cheat day' is Sunday, not Thursday..."

"His diet? His fucking diet? Are you fucking kidding me?! You're sitting here telling me Sebastian Stan spent like a whole day fucking the shit out of you, and you're worried about some pizza?"

Ali shrugged. "Yeah, true. He certainly worked it off."

"...Not really my point."

"Oh fucking hell." Squeezing her eyes shut, she groaned. "Today's his birthday! God damn it, I had his present in the car and everything! I have to go back down."

"While you're at it," Ciara snapped, "Give him the script! Do you want me to come with you this time, so you don't get distracted?"

Ali flinched again, eyes wide. "No! No, that would mean breaking my promise to him." At her sister's confused look, she huffed and explained, "I know where he lives now, and I promised I'd never let anyone else know."

"I'll stay in the car." Expression going from frustrated to sympathetic, Ciara told her, "You're a mess and I kinda don't love the idea of you driving that far alone right now."

"Fair enough." Her voice was still thick with tears and she rolled her eyes, wiping furiously at the ones that fell despite her attempts to stop them. "Thanks. I just... Gods, I'm such a wreck! Why am I like this?"

"Because, after a decade-long dry spell, you just had sex with your ultimate celebrity crush?"

"Stop being so accurate. It's creepy."

Though she was reluctant to go and possibly ruin Sebastian's birthday, Ali pulled herself together, double checked that his gift and the script were in fact in her car, wrote a note, and took off for New York for the second time in as many days. When she got to Manhattan it was nearly dark, and she hastily stuck the note to the front of the script, shoved it in the gift bag, and headed to his place. She'd just knock, leave it, and bolt before he answered, she decided. Then, if he didn't want to see her, he didn't have to, and she could still make sure he got everything.

For once, one of her plans went off without a hitch. She heard the door open behind her as she just made it out of sight. There was a faint, but audible crinkle as he picked up the gift bag, and she ran out the front door of the building. Grateful that there wasn't much traffic in this neighborhood, she dashed across the street and ran full-tilt all the way to her car. By the time she got in, she was hyperventilating and crying again, and Ciara was looking at her like she'd lost her damn mind.

"What the hell is your problem today? You're acting weirder than usual."

Unable to speak yet, Ali flipped her off.

"Did you get in a fight or something?"

She shook her head, willing Ciara to just shut the hell up and let her recover - at least get her damn breath back - but no luck.

"Was he a jerk? He doesn't seem capable of it, but I guess you never really know..."

"Stop. Talking!" Chest still heaving, more from the force of her sobs than from the run from Sebastian's apartment to her car, Ali slapped a hand over her sister's mouth. "Stop! Enough! Let me. Fucking. Breathe!"

As she dropped her hand, Ciara opened her mouth like she was going to say something else, then seemed to reconsider and closed it again, waiting. Eventually Ali managed to calm down, sucked in a few deep breaths, and quietly explained, "I didn't see him this time. I dropped the stuff off, knocked, and ran."

"...You're playing Ding Dong Ditch with him now?"

She shook her head, smiling at that despite her rather bleak mood. "I just didn't want to be a problem. Things were really weird between us this morning. Like the connection we made last night was just... gone. Evaporated. Whatever's going on with him, I didn't want to make it worse."

"I thought you were trying to stop living for everyone else's comfort."

With a withering glare at her sister, she put the car in gear and got back on the road to head home. "It's his birthday. I wouldn't try to fuck up your birthday, either."

Ciara laughed. "Okay, fair enough. So what actually happened?"

Finally calm enough to think back on the previous day's events without breaking down, Ali began to talk. She didn't reveal any details about their conversations, but she told her sister everything else; how she and Sebastian bonded, how he made her feel more beautiful and more alive than she ever had before... How he wept in her arms as she held him close and felt him shake. Ciara constantly asked what they talked about, what he said that got him so upset, but Ali firmly refused to tell her.

"I'm not spreading gossip here, you vulture," she snarled at one point, upsetting her sister but not really caring. "I made him two promises and I plan to keep them both - never let anyone know where he lives, and never tell anyone - ANYONE - what he said to me. Ever. Deal with it."

"Then why even bother talking about it?" Her sulking tone made Ali want to slap her. "Why tell half a story?"

"You asked me what happened!" she reminded her, aggravated. "I'm telling you what's relevant. You have no reason, and no right to know what someone you've never even met told me in confidence in his bed."

Ciara pouted; Ali could hear it in her voice when she spoke again. "You used to tell me everything."

"I never would have told you this. There are secrets people who have gone on to hurt me, badly, have told me that I will take to my grave. I gave him my word, and not a single soul on this planet will ever hear what he said. Not from me."

"You're so obsessed with promises..."

"Yes!" Ali rolled her eyes, floored that her sister was actually letting curiosity override basic decency. "Because I know from a lifetime of endless experience how much it hurts to have someone break them!"

"You don't even know him! Not really."

"A damn sight better than you do."

"Oh, really?" Gods, she wanted to slap the smug smile she could hear in her tone off of her sister's pretty face! "Then why was he so 'weird' this morning?"

She almost shrugged her off with a reminder that she didn't know - she wasn't a fucking mind reader - when the most likely reason hit her and she groaned, immediately pulling over. Once the car was stopped, she pressed her forehead against the steering wheel and squeezed her eyes shut, feeling like an absolute shitheel. "...God damn it. He has a girlfriend."

Ciara snorted. "Oh, come on! You always gotta go to the worst case scenario-"

"No." Stomach doing flips, she had to swallow a few times before she could speak again, for fear that opening her mouth would just make her vomit. "He does. Alejandra. They've been dating for like a year and a half or something. Fuck! That asshole! And I knew! I knew about Alejandra, god damn it! Jesus fucking Christ, I'm such a whore..."

"Oh, neechan!"

She heard a click and then a rustle of fabric, and then her sister's arms were around her and for what seemed like the millionth time that day, Ali was sobbing again. "Oh gods, Kee, what did we do? Fuck... Fuck! Literally all I know about this girl is she's Spanish, she's dating my dream guy... And I just fucked her boyfriend. Jesus Christ..."

"You really can't do anything halfway, can you?"

That got a burbly laugh out of the older woman and she shook her head. "I guess not. It's either have no life at all, or blow up every life I come into contact with."

"You haven't blown up mine yet."

Ali cracked up at that, gasping out between slightly unhinged giggles, "Just don't date Sebastian Stan!"

Laughing with her, Ciara kissed the top of her head and released her, settling back in her seat. "But-but!" A purposely overdramatic sigh, and she droned, "Fiiiiiiine!"

She was still giggling and wiping away her tears at the same time, but finally beginning to calm down, when her phone rang. An unfamiliar number with the words 'New York' beneath flashed on the screen of her car's radio. "...Nope. No way."

"Do you think...?"

"I don't care." She reached for the 'reject' button. "Not today, Satan!"

"But what if-" Ciara slapped her hand away, and - damn her - the impact made Ali touch 'accept' instead.

With the angriest glare she could muster at her sheepishly smiling little sister, Ali forced her squeaky Professional Courtesy Voice. "Hello?"

"Ali?"

Professional courtesy squeak dropped about four octaves to What the Fuck Voice real quick. "You have the worst timing in the world, Sebastian."

There was a soft laugh, and then the cheating bastard said, "Do I? Sorry. But hey, I'm glad you know my voice, even over the phone."

"Kinda hard not to. Just a heads-up, you're coming through my car's stereo and I'm not alone." Ciara was blessedly silent for once, already large brown eyes enormous and mouth hanging open in shock. Ali calmly reached over and pushed her jaw up. Then she got back on the road, knowing if she waited much longer, she'd be way too tired to drive. Especially if this conversation went on too long.

There was an awkward pause, and then Sebastian spoke again. "Thanks for letting me know. Um, who...? Uh... Hi, whoever else is there!"

And there was the squeaky giggle as Ciara found her voice. "Hi, Sebastian! Is it okay if I call you Sabastian? Big fan! Bucky is the best, and-"

With a hand on her sister's arm, Ali shook her head sharply. "Please, stop. Be a grownup now, spazz later." Raising her voice to be heard more clearly through the radio, she added, "Sorry, that's my little sister. Believe it or not, she's a grown-ass woman."

Ciara stuck her tongue out, kind of inadvertently proving Ali's point. "Bitch."

Sebastian only laughed again. "No worries. It's nice when people are happy to meet me or hear from me."

"Makes one of us," she grumbled under her breath. Hoping he wouldn't catch that, she hastily asked him, "So, to what do we owe the honor?" She knew how he'd gotten her number; when she printed the script, she'd put both her contact info and Ciara's on the inside of the front cover. She just hadn't actually expected him to use it.

"I wanted to thank you for the books, but... Kitten, are you okay?"

"Kitten?" Ciara mumbled, eyebrows shooting up.

Ali shook her head, though she knew he couldn't see it. "No. Uh-uh. We're not doing the stupid pet name thing. Not now that I've remembered that you have a girlfriend, you pig!" It was still his birthday. Somewhat grudgingly, she sucked in a deep breath and forced herself to calm down. "You're welcome. I hope you like them. Can we talk about the rest some other time?"

"...A girlfriend?" Damn her obsession with this man! She could see the lost, vaguely angry expression on his face clear as day in her mind. "What-you mean Alejandra?"

"Well who the fuck else would I be talking about?"

"Ali, we broke up last month." Now he sounded somewhere between frustrated and amused, and Ali was the one who was lost. "I don't... I would never do that!"

Ciara was practically vibrating in her seat, face flushed and both hands clamped over her mouth to muffle her giggles. She knew it was mostly nerves, but still Ali kind of wanted to slap her.

"If you're single, why were you-" She stopped, glanced at her sister, and sighed. "Can I call you back tomorrow? I've got a really long drive ahead of me, and there's a lot I want to say to you that I can't with an audience and a laugh track in the passenger seat."

"Just say it. I'll email you an NDA for her to sign later."

Both sisters cracked up at that. God damn it, she loved his sassy sarcasm! After Ciara gasped out a promise not to tell, Ali finally asked, with an annoying hitch in her voice, "What happened this morning? You weren't rude or anything, but you were a little...cold."

"Wait... You didn't hear me?" When she confirmed that she had no idea what he was talking about, Sebastian let out an awkward little cough and explained, "I said something dumb when we woke up, and I didn't know what the hell to do about it."

"Oh dear gods... Did he Mosby you?" Giggling again, Ciara turned from Ali to the radio. "Did you Mosby her?"

"I don't know what that means."

If she wasn't driving, Ali would have face-palmed. "It's a reference to a sitcom. The main character on How I Met Your Mother, Ted Mosby... He told a girl he was in love with her on their first date."

There was a long, awkward silence, and then another giggle-fit from Ciara. Ali whacked her arm. "Shut up, you loon!"

"He fucking did! He Mosby'd you!" The full implications of that seemed to finally set in, and she sobered, but only slightly. Eyes wide again, she half-whispered, "Holy shit, dude! Bucky Barnes is in love with you! How the fuck did you pull that off?! Magic vag, much?"

"You know he's still on the phone, right?!" She shook her head, willing her hyper-Ciara-induced headache to go away. "Sorry, Sebastian. You still alive, bro?"

"...Yeah." He cleared his throat; she could practically hear him blushing. "Yeah, I'm here. And starting to regret encouraging this conversation right now."

"Sorry..."

He chuckled at Ciara's apology. "Nah, no worries, kiddo. I bet that passion makes you a lot of fun to hang out with, when things aren't...quite so delicate."

"Sometimes," Ali confirmed, grinning at her blushing sister. "When she's not embarrassing me. So... what did you actually say? Cuz I was dead to the world until you told me where the shower was."

"No... Yeah, your sister got it right. I- when I woke up, I guess my mouth woke up before my brain did, and I said 'I love you.'"

"And then you spent the rest of the morning trying to make me forget something I didn't even hear." She laughed, shaking her head. "Seb, you're adorable."

"Go back!" her sister hissed, poking her. "Turn around! Go back and see him!"

"And do what with you, you weirdo?" she grumbled, rolling her eyes. Maybe that was why she got so many headaches around the younger woman; all the eye-rolling.

"I can drive your car home!"

"No, you absolutely can not!" It would be a cold day in Hell before her reckless, lead-footed, no-attention-span sister got behind the wheel of her car!

Ciara pouted. "Train, I guess? Or bus?"

"Dude, it's nine o'clock at night! Just sit back and shut up, Jesus..."

Sebastian cleared his throat, sounding amused again when he rejoined the conversation. "Drop her off at a hotel?"

"We're both broke, so no."

He laughed. "I'll cover it, if you'll come back and talk to me face-to-face."

"Do it!" Ciara poked her repeatedly, despite her one-armed attempts to slap her away. "Do it!"

"Are you fucking twelve?! What's wrong with you?"

"The movie, baka!"

Oh, for fuck's sake! That was the last thing on her mind right then!

"Ali, please?" She winced, turning her glare to the radio as if it was to blame. That meek little 'please' shattered her. She couldn't say 'no' to that! "Look, last night-yesterday-was incredible. I'm a little embarrassed to admit this, but I already miss having you in my arms. I'm pushing forty and you've got me acting like the protagonist in a bad teen romance flick!"

She laughed, already turning onto the nearest exit that would take her back to Manhattan. Ciara was practically bouncing in her seat with joy. "Are you sure? About the hotel thing, I mean."

"Better than having a stranger crash on my couch while we're trying to talk."

"Fair enough. Alright." She sucked in a deep breath, held it, and let it out in a whoosh. "I'm on my way back. I hope you know, this has been the weirdest thirty-six hours of my life."

"Mine, too," he agreed with a chuckle that made her heart race. "But it's also just been a weird couple of years. At least my time with you has been a good weird."

He stayed on the phone with her until she reached his front door, and whipped it open before she could knock, both of them hanging up at the same time. Ciara momentarily forgotten - she was waiting in the car again, in the same parking structure Ali had used the last two times she was here - she collapsed into Sebastian's arms and squeezed with all her might.

"God, the things I wanna do to you," he purred, framing her face with his hands.

She smiled, pressing tighter against him. "I thought you wanted to talk."

"We're pretty good at balancing the two."

Well, he had a point there. Ali giggled, happily reciprocating when he leaned down for a kiss. All she wanted was to reclaim the connection they'd forged the previous day, and it appeared Sebastian was thinking along the same lines.

"Watching you walk out this door hurt way more than it should have."

"Damn," she teased, nuzzling his scruffy cheek. "Was the sex that good?"

"Fuck, yes," he growled, grinning between fierce kisses. "Yes, it fucking was. That thing you did with your fingers-"

"Mmmm... The thing you did with your fingers!"

"-And that mouth!"

"Fuck, Sebastian, I'll be dreaming about that tongue of yours for the rest of my life!"

His low chuckle when straight to her loins and she whimpered. "I guess we have similar talents."

"I love you." She smirked at him, unable to quite identify the look in his eyes, but loving it all the same. "There. Now one of us has said it while we're both conscious."

"I still said it first."

She laughed, nipping at his lip. "I still felt it first."

"Cheating," he challenged with that sexy smirk of his, pushing her back against the wall. He hoisted her up effortlessly and pressed tight against her as she wound her legs around his waist. "If you were plastered all over the internet, I'd have fallen for you earlier, too!"

"We still have so much to talk about..."

"I know." He attacked her neck and she whimpered again, growing wetter by the second. "But right now all I want is to be balls-deep inside you. I missed you." He shook his head, chuckling again. "It's been like twelve hours and I missed you."

"I felt like I was dying, walking away from you this morning."

"We're insane."

"Certifiably."

"I don't care."

She grinned, tangling her fingers in his hair and giving it a light tug. "Neither do I." Her phone buzzed in her pocket then, startling them both and snapping her back to reality. As Sebastian gingerly set her down, she smiled sheepishly up at him. "...Right. My sister."

"Right." He laughed, shoving a hand back through his hair, and then gestured at the door. "Let's go get rid of her-I mean get her settled - shall we?"

Ali was honestly paying less than zero attention to where they were going or what they were doing as she followed Sebastian out the door and down the street. She assumed they got Ciara safely to a hotel and checked her in for the night, but all she was paying attention to were the most beautiful pair of bright blue eyes she'd ever seen in her life, and the prettiest smile in the world. It was a miracle she didn't walk into anything.

Once they were back in his apartment, it was like someone had thrown a bucket of water on the fire between them. It was still smoldering beneath the surface, but they weren't fused together like horny high-powered magnets. They were actually able to sit and talk.

"You're really single?"

Sebastian chuckled, poking her nose. "Yes. I'm really single. I would never cheat."

"I'm sorry, I just..." She shook her head, feeling a little lost and helpless. "Everything happened so fast yesterday, and I hadn't heard... Last I knew, you two were still together."

"No, that's valid." He shrugged, looking a little sheepish. "There was no formal announcement or whatever. We split, and I wanted to take a little time to process it before people started treating my DMs like the fucking Sahara again. I swear, the horny messages, like, triple whenever fans hear I'm single again."

"That has to suck. Like, positive attention is nice and all, but that's the internet equivalent of catcalling and it's so gross." After taking a second to gather her thoughts, Ali took a deep breath and decided to address what she felt was the elephant in the room: "You don't have to force anything you're not ready for, Sebastian. If all you can handle is sex, I'm fine with that; if it was just an oddly emotionally-charged one-night-stand, I can handle that to. Just don't lie to me, or try to force a random chance encounter to be more than it is out of some misplaced cultural guilt."

The way he was looking at her made her blush and quickly look away, wondering if she'd said the wrong thing. "Is that all it was to you?" When she hesitated, he prodded gently, "Don't lie to me, either. You've at least got that right - after yesterday, we owe each other the truth."

"There is nothing I wouldn't do for you," she whispered, hating that she could feel tears choking her for what felt like the millionth time that day. "Nothing. And that terrifies me. I don't know what scares me more - that you own me so completely and so effortlessly, or the thought that you probably think it's nothing more than me being a silly, obsessed fan."

"I don't think that," he murmured. "Not after all I've learned about you since we met. I don't know how you function, feeling everything as deeply and all-consumingly as you do, but my god, I admire it! If you had even a fraction of the confidence as you do passion, you could rule the world."

She choked on a sob she refused to let out and shook her head. "I don't want that. I don't want the world... I just want to be in yours." Seeing the snarky smirk forming that didn't quite reach those soft blue eyes, she nudged him and added, "And no, I don't mean Hollywood."

"I was actually just gonna sing a song from Aladdin, but I'll refrain."

The bad pun hit them at the same time, and they both let out tired little half-hearted chuckles, mumbling, "Ha. Refrain."

"That's okay," Ali grumbled, blushing. "I had to do some serious mental backflips to stop myself from singing a song from The Little Mermaid."

"You are so cool."

That got another little half-hearted laugh out of her as she nervously tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. "So... Where do we go from here? I mean... If it wasn't a one time thing, what are we?"

He shrugged again, sighing faintly. "That's kinda the million dollar question, isn't it? To be honest, I don't really know. I mean, I know what I want, but it's only partly up to me, isn't it?"

"I already told you that there's nothing I wouldn't do for you."

"That's not really the same as telling me what you want, though."

Damn it. He kind of had a point. Figuring there was no possible way her dignity could sink any lower, she told him bluntly, "I want the picket fence, with a twist. I want to be the creative power couple, you making Hollywood and Broadway your bitches, and me making a name for myself as a best-selling fantasy author and artist. Kids, maybe a dog, two cats - I know you're allergic, but I already have them, so that's a hurdle we're going to have to deal with if we actually stay in each other's lives, and-"

She had about half a second to register that Sebastian had tears in his eyes before he cut her off with a kiss and pulled her into his lap. "I can't promise you that."

"I'm not asking you to." She knew he wasn't talking about the cats; Claritin could take care of that. He was choked up because she'd talked about marriage and kids, and they'd known each other less than two days. "You asked me what I want, and that's the answer. I want a family, I want love and a career and to be a mom. I've wanted that for a few years... I've known who you are for like six months."

He laughed at that, leaning back a bit to look at her. "Really? Wow. Way to take a guy down a peg."

With a shrug and an apologetic smile, she explained, "It was kind of a weird transition. I saw The Covenant-" Ignoring his cringe and mumbled 'god damn it,' she doggedly went on, "Shortly after it came out, and you were literally the only thing I remembered about that movie for a long-ass time, besides one line Toby Hemingway said in the beginning. But I had some shit going on in my life that made actors...really forgettable. I swooned over the cute boy with the incredible smile, wondered why he was making funny faces, and moved on with just the vague impression of 'that movie was fucking weird, but I liked it.'"

Laughing a little harder, Sebastian nodded. "Alright, fair enough. So that was the only thing you saw me in before this year?"

"Oh, not remotely!" Ali snickered, feeling a little bad, but also greatly enjoying the look of confusion on his handsome face. "I developed a massive crush on Taylor Momsen when she was around twenty-ish; I was obsessed with The Pretty Reckless. So I watched a couple of seasons of Gossip Girl for her. Saw Carter Baizen as Generic Cute Rich White Boy Number Five, or whatever, again enjoyed the pretty smile, was put off by the smarmy personality, never made the connection between Cute Smarmy Boy Carter and Cute Psycho Boy Chase, partly because I hadn't seen The Covenant in years at that point, and mostly because life sucked, music was saving what was left of my sanity, and TV was forgettable brain candy. Junk food to power down at the end of a shitty day. Totally disposable."

"Ouch!"

"Don't worry," she assured him with a grin. "This story has a happy ending."

A slightly pervy smirk crossed his face as he glanced toward the loft and held her closer. "Mmmm... I remember. Okay. Finish tearing me down and telling me how utterly, wretchedly forgettable I am."

"You're not! I just didn't care about movies and TV as much back then. My whole world revolved around music. And, y'know, fighting back thoughts of suicide." She sighed, resting her head on his shoulder and managing a tiny smile when he started rubbing her back. "I watched the Marvel movies for Robert; he was a holdover celebrity crush for me. I've drooled over him since I was a tiny thing. Then Thor came out, and I've loved Loki - the actual deity - all of my life so I freaked the fuck out, absolutely exploded with joy to see him on the big screen. That's when I started to care; when movies started to really matter again. But I fucking hate Steve Rogers."

That pulled a startled laugh out of him and felt him shake his head. "Why?"

"That self-righteous, snotty, dopey... UGH! I just hated almost everything that came out of his mouth in The Avengers. So there was no way in hell I was going to suffer through his solo movies. So my first introduction to Bucky Barnes was the thirty seconds or so that he was in Infinity War." She winced, thinking of how that movie ended, and reluctantly admitted, "The death of robo-armed Murder Jesus had zero impact on me. I didn't get to see any of your talent; there was too much in that movie to keep track of. I even totally forgot the scene with Rocket, and I fucking loved that scene. That shit was hilarious."

"...Robo-armed... Murder Jesus?" At first she thought he was confused, or even mildly offended, but then he cracked up and kissed the top of her head. "That is amazing! I'm totally stealing that joke next time I have to talk about long-haired Bucky."

Ali giggled. "Have at. Anyway, the beginning of Infinity War broke me. I almost walked out of the theater. The rest of the movie never had a fucking chance after they killed off Loki... I didn't see Endgame until this year. But before that, I got bored and decided to watch Civil War for Iron Man and Black Panther." With a grin, she lifted her head and kissed his cheek. "And then I fell in love with Bucky, and then you. Ravenously hunted down every single piece of your filmography I could find - and could handle watching - stalked you, had the best fucking day of my life with you, and here we are."

"We ran into each other in a Starbucks," he reminded her with a grin. "I dunno if that really counts as stalking."

"I live in Massachusetts," she countered, trying not to laugh - mostly at her own absurdity. "I was only in New York at all because I was looking for you."

He glanced at the coffee table, and that was the first time she noticed that the books she'd given him for his birthday and the script hastily shoved into the gift bag were sitting there, neatly stacked. "That kinda makes sense, though. And thank you."

"For stalking you?"

Sebastian snorted, rolling his eyes and poking her side. "For the books." He paused and then added with a smirk, "And the outstanding sex. You weren't kidding when you said you're intense!"

She blushed, hiding her face against his chest and biting her lip when she got a lungful of his amazing scent. "You smell so fucking good, it's not fair!"

"Should we move this to the bed, then?"

"Sebastian, I honestly think I'm one more kiss away from never leaving your side again."

She'd meant it as a warning, to say she was getting too attached, too quickly. Sebastian seemed to take it as a challenge. She felt his fingertips under her chin as he gently pushed her head up to look at him. And then his lips were on hers and they were so soft and he tasted even better than he smelled, and Ali was just... gone. Lost in him, she clung to him for dear life and willed herself not to cry, though she felt her chest burning.

"I was awkward this morning because I thought I would regret saying what I did," he whispered, lips still faintly brushing hers and the fingers under her chin moving to stroke her jaw. "But I don't. You're crazy and awkward and fun and I fucking love you, Alison. I love you even more than I did last night when it first hit me, and this morning when I couldn't keep it in. I don't want you to go."

"Just don't start doing coke and streaking, okay?" He pulled back and gave her the most adorable look of utter blank confusion and she snickered. "Monday. We are living the first twenty minutes or so of Monday, and I love that movie so much but I fucking hated Chloe, I thought she was selfish, toxic garbage and she almost lost Mickey the partial custody of his son that he barely even had, and just... I don't want to be Chloe!" What had started out as a joke ended up opening the flood gate on the tears she'd tried so hard to keep back, and she collapsed against him as he held her tight and she sobbed. Again. "I don't want my crazy to ruin your life!"

Sebastian laughed, rubbing her back when she still couldn't stop crying. "You're not that kind of crazy, sweetheart. And I don't do drugs. Or have a kid. It'll be fine."

She didn't know what to say to that, so she stayed silent. Eventually they did move up to his bed, where they stripped and simply cuddled until Sebastian fell asleep. She didn't bother pointing out that he'd never actually said what he wanted. She watched him sleep for a little while, just barely making out his handsome features in the dark, softened by peaceful sleep and the faint glow of the city lights outside the window. Moved by an overwhelming tenderness for this beautiful man, she brushed some of his hair back off his face and pressed a feather-light kiss to full, ever so slightly parted lips.

"I love you, Sebastian," she whispered, absently stroking his cheek. "But I don't deserve you."

I can't believe I'm doing this lol...

I might throw up. I almost never post the stuff I write just for me. I'll occasionally send a funny chunk to a friend or whatever, but not open myself up to public scrutiny. I'm aware I've said all this before lol but bear with me, okay?

It's lazy writing (as is... literally all of my fanfiction XD) but I feel like it's coming out fairly decent for what it is, so I thought I'd share a little bit. If you hate it or aren't interested, just ignore it, 'kay? if for some reason you don't hate it, lmk. there's more

Pairing: Sebastian Stan/author (hey, can't say you weren't warned. yes, it's self-insert) Warnings: 18+. I will always mark my writing 18+ even if it never gets explicit. Adult themes, smut is mentioned (but no, not explicit), Seb does something dumb and OOC for him but it served my purpose so whatever XD

After arriving in Manhattan - and eventually finding a place to park; fuck, she hated New York! - she'd ducked into a Starbucks to collect herself and psych herself up a bit. Instead, she was psyching herself out. This was the dumbest, craziest idea she'd ever had, in a thirty-plus-year string of dumb and crazy ideas. This was never going to work. She was never even going to find him! There were millions of people crammed into this putrid petri dish of humanity. There was absolutely no chance she would-

For fuck's sake, was that really him?! Ever vigilant as a lone woman in unfamiliar surroundings, she'd taken a seat in the far corner of the shop, facing the front door. She wasn't looking for anyone in particular, not in here; she was simply making damn sure no one could come up behind her. Still, her position gave her a perfect view of most of the room, and especially the door. Her eyes widened as she watched a very familiar figure in a blue baseball cap enter and head for the counter.

As he neared, she got a clear look at his handsome face, and her heart felt like it suddenly stopped. Yep. That was him. Sebastian fucking Stan had just walked into this random-ass Starbucks she'd only come into to get out of the overwhelming bustle and noise of the city so she could think. She knew he lived somewhere in Manhattan, but wasn't Manhattan rather...large? It was certainly daunting to drive through; all of NYC was.

"Hey."

She flinched, blinking rapidly as she realized that not only had she been staring, but her eyes had dried out. "Hi."

Sebastian smiled, glanced around the busy shop, and asked somewhat tentatively, "Mind if I join you? Just til my coffee's ready."

Like she would say 'no' to anything this man asked of her! With a soft smile she hoped looked less nervous than she felt, she moved her bag off the other chair and gestured. "Of course. And you don't have to leave right away, unless you have somewhere to be. I don't bite." Jesus, that was smoother than she'd ever thought herself capable of! Where the fuck had that come from?!

His smile widened as he sat down, sharp blue eyes never leaving her face. She hoped she wasn't blushing. "Thanks. I don't actually have anywhere to be; I just got home."

"How was LA?" At his look of surprise, she flashed him a wry smile. "I can't just sit here and pretend not to know who you are. It feels creepy and manipulative."

Laughing and making her feel like her heart would burst with joy, Sebastian shrugged and nodded. "I appreciate that. And I really appreciate you treating me like a normal person."

"If you were a normal person," she teased, "I'd have told you to fuck off. I don't trust attractive men; they're usually narcissistic douche bags."

"I can't tell if you're calling me ugly or a douche bag."

She laughed, grateful for the playful glint in his eyes that showed her he wasn't actually offended. "Neither! I'm just saying, if I hadn't seen clips of you on youtube being all awkward and sweet, I'd be afraid to let you near me. You're way too gorgeous." With a wink that made him laugh, she added, "You're in your own separate category."

"So that's how you categorize all the men of the world?" He grinned, nudging her foot with his own. "Ugly, jerks, or awkward?"

"It's actually even more general than that. In my experience all humans are either ugly inside or ugly outside." Smile softening from mocking to a sort of wistful fondness, she told him, "From what you've shown the world, you're neither. Makes me wonder if you're even human sometimes."

"You caught me." Sebastian laughed again, joking even as he stood to get his coffee, "I'm an alien."

"So that's why you're so in love with space! Homesick?"

"Yeah, I guess so!" She loved how freely he laughed, and when he invited her to leave the crowded café and go for a walk with him, she readily agreed. "So what's your deep, dark secret?"

She blinked, staring at him. "What do you mean?"

His mischievous grin made her heart race and heat pool somewhere she didn't want to be thinking about with him standing right next to her. "You torture puppies, or are you an alien?"

He was calling her beautiful. The second she got the joke, she could feel her face turning bright red and she giggled, hastily looking away. "I definitely don't torture puppies."

"So you're an alien."

She could feel him looming over her as they both stopped and moved over to let other pedestrians move around them. Though she was afraid to, she forced herself to look up and was immediately entranced by those captivating blue eyes. "Maybe I'm a fairy."

"You're certainly pretty enough to be."

"Fucking hell, Sebastian, if you get any closer to me I will not be held responsible for what I do to you." She smirked, trying to lighten the mood and take the charge out of the air between them before she made too much of an ass out of herself. "Even with the coffee breath."

He laughed, but the tension didn't dissipate. If anything, the charge and the heat between them only increased. "Maybe you should put something else in my mouth, then."

Damn, this man could flirt! She accidentally knocked the hat off his head as she got a grip on that luscious dark hair and tugged him closer; he didn't seem to notice. He set his coffee down on a nearby window ledge. One hand cupping her jaw and the other grabbing her ass, he yanked her tight against him and thoroughly plundered her mouth with that long tongue she'd spent months fantasizing about. He did taste like coffee, which was a little off-putting - she'd bought a bottle of water in Starbucks; she hated coffee - but she didn't even care. The most perfect man in the universe was holding her tight and kissing her breathless, and she wasn't about to let anything ruin this moment.

Someone else ruined the moment when they cleared their throat. When she saw she had their attention, the fidgeting girl held Sebastian's cap out to him in a slightly shaking hand. "Sorry... Is this your hat?"

Finally realizing they were out in public in broad daylight, the pair sprang apart with awkward chuckles. Sebastian thanked the girl and crammed the fallen hat back onto his head, took a selfie with her when he realized she knew who he was, and sent her on her way. "That moment's gonna be all over the internet."

A nervous giggle bubbled up from her chest, somehow making it past where her pounding heart was lodged in her throat. "Hopefully just the selfie." His cynical scoff caught her off guard and she flinched, glancing around. "I hate that paparazzi shit. No one has any right to be taking pictures of you that you don't consent to and pose for, just like no one should be spreading details about you or your life that you didn't make public, yourself."

The look he gave her then was strange; almost as if he was calculating, or trying to read her. Unsure what that was all about, she simply looked right back at him, being as open as she could. Apparently reaching a decision, he told her softly, "I live like two blocks away."

That seemed random to her. She shrugged, offering him a slightly perplexed smile. "Okay...? That explains why you go to that Starbucks, I guess."

Sebastian laughed and hooked his arm around her waist, tugging her down the sidewalk. "You're adorable. And I'm trusting your adorable ass not to tell anyone."

...Oh. Eyes so wide they hurt, she stared up at him as he guided her down the street. He was taking her back to his place?! The more logical part of her brain was flabbergasted by the idea of this man just casually bringing a total stranger home, while the rest of her was just eager to get him behind closed doors and tear his clothes off. Obviously, the primitive, horny part of her brain won by a landslide, and she didn't say a word.

She noticed that Sebastian was chugging his iced coffee as they walked, and had to bite her lip to keep from laughing. He was going to have to pee so bad when they got to his apartment. Plus, she'd seen him hyped up on caffeine; it was hilarious.

"Make yourself comfortable," he told her as he closed the door behind them, already making a hasty beeline through the place. "I'll be right back."

Yup. She snickered as she settled on the edge of the couch. Straight to the bathroom. She tried not to fidget as she glanced around, but his apartment was just so sterile. Aside from the books on his desk, it didn't even look like anyone lived here, really. The blank white walls hurt her eyes and were starting to set off her anxiety; she dropped her gaze to the sofa and felt the tension ooze out of her muscles as her overactive brain took in the soothing dark gray color of it and slowly relaxed. At least he had a thing for dark furniture.

"You look so rigid all of a sudden."

She shrugged, glancing up at him. "I don't know what I'm doing here. I mean, I think I know why you brought me here, but..."

Oh gods, and there was that soft, kind smile she'd only ever seen in pictures. It, like the rest of him, was so much more beautiful in person. "Having second thoughts?"

More like first thoughts. "Aren't you? You don't know me; literally the only thing you know about me is that I know you're famous."

"And that you're a cynical introvert," he told her with a grin, settling on the couch beside her. "And that you're respectful of boundaries. That all seemed like a pretty good start to me. Hey-" He nudged her, making her smile. "Alien to fairy, I didn't bring you here to push you into anything. Pretty sure that would push me right into the douche bag category."

Giggling a little, she shook her head. "Nope. I'm too big a fan to ever think that about you. You can do no wrong in my eyes, alien."

"Hey, even aliens can make mistakes or do some fucked up shit. I mean, have you seen Independence Day?"

She laughed outright at that, poking his side. "Fair enough. But I somehow doubt that you're planning a genocide, so..."

"Nope." He shook his head, still grinning impishly. "No genocide on my calendar. Just hanging out with this beautiful, really cool fairy I met at a Starbucks today. Maybe satisfying her every carnal desire before she leaves, if she's up for it... Maybe just talking for a while or watching a movie. We'll see."

She could feel her face heating up again, but when Sebastian leaned in for a kiss, she eagerly let him. That was when it finally dawned on her that his mad dash for the bathroom had actually been to brush his teeth. He'd taken her coffee breath joke to heart and sucked his drink down so he could kiss her with minty fresh breath. Gods, he was so sweet it hurt!

That settled it in her mind; anxiety be damned. If he wanted it, there was no way this man wasn't getting laid. How many men would go this far out of their way to make a total stranger more comfortable when he shoved his tongue down her throat?

"What do you want," he whispered against her lips, stroking her hair, "my pretty red fairy?"

"All of it." She pulled him back with her as she stretched out on the couch, biting her lip when he automatically settled between her long legs. "Whatever you're willing to give."

"Tap out any time," he assured her as he reached under her dress, fingers dancing feather-light up her thigh. "I promise I won't be a dick about it."

"Same for you, gorgeous." With a slightly evil smirk, she rolled them over and straddled him, yanking her dress up and off. "I've been told I can be a little intense."

She squeaked before she could stop herself when he yanked her down with one strong hand on her back and drew a nipple into his mouth. She felt his tongue swirling against her flesh and shuddered, growing wetter by the second.

"I can handle it, princess." And then he was surging upright, and then to his feet, never releasing her from his grip. With her still clinging to him like a barnacle in nothing but her panties, he kissed her again and started heading toward the stairs. "But we're not fucking on my couch when there's a perfectly good bed right up there in the loft."

"Probably wise," she agreed with a giggle, tangling her fingers in his hair. "I'm already soaked. Wouldn't wanna ruin the infamous couch."

Sebastian groaned, but he was grinning. "Oh, don't bring him up now, girl!"

"Your couch is a dude?" She could tell he knew she was joking, but the glint in his eyes promised retribution if she didn't drop it... And then he dropped her like a sack of potatoes onto his bed, and she shrieked, startled.

From there, the day passed by in a blur. They cuddled and talked for hours, they paused once or twice for food, and, of course, they fucked like rabbits. She quickly learned that there was nothing Sebastian wasn't fucking amazing at. Typically, she was the quiet type in bed, but there were moments this talented bastard had her nearly screaming. The things this man could do with that tongue alone...!

But the moments she cherished were the quiet ones. When one or both of them needed a break and they would just lie there in each other's arms, and she could hear his pounding heart and knew he could feel hers. Once their breathing became less labored, they would begin to speak; voices low, as if afraid to shatter the silence and bring the outside world crashing down on them. They talked about everything and nothing, sharing past hurts never forgotten, and secret desires, dreams they were afraid to chase or simply knew were forever out of their reach. By the time night fell, she'd lost count of how many times one or both of them had broken and dissolved into tears in the other's embrace.

"You're so easy to talk to," he murmured once, the teary smile she couldn't see in the dark audible in his soft voice. "I know it's dumb, but I feel like I can trust you."

"You can," she was quick to assure him, kissing his jaw and loving the way his stubble rasped against her skin. "Nothing leaves this space, Sebastian. Anything you tell me stays right here. I promise."

He flinched then, as if suddenly remembering something, and nearly dislodged her. She settled herself more comfortably on his chest and waited. "You still haven't told me your name." They both laughed at that, and she felt a hot blush creeping up her face. Thank the gods it was dark. "I've just been calling you random pet names all day."

"Princess and Kitten were my favorites," she told him with a grin, licking his nipple. "But if you must know... My name is Ali."

"Ali." The way he said her name made her shiver, and then he was on her again and her last semi-coherent thought was holy shit, does this man ever run out of energy? Not that she was complaining.

In the end, they both fell asleep before she could even think about the long drive home ahead of her, much less the astronomical parking fee she'd be facing... or the reason she had actually come to New York in the first place.

[hoynovoy]

My 'Pretty Little Liars' Obsession Led Me To My Best Friend

“Got a secret, can you keep it?” Well, I’ve got one: Though Pretty Little Liars ended in 2017, the seven-season mystery thriller schemed its way into being an integral part of my life for the long haul, so much so that the opening credits live in my head rent-free. To this day, each time I hear the sinister theme song — “Secret” by The Pierces — I’m brought right back to my childhood comfort show (ahem, obsession). The visuals begin with a swipe of mascara, the smear of red lipstick, and a clasp of a heel onto a porcelain doll, which makes me feel like I’m watching someone get pampered for prom. Until, of course, it cuts to four girls standing in front of a casket. It's a chilling moment, one that, until Season 6B, ended with Aria Montgomery (Lucy Hale) delivering her iconic “shh.” I got cast under the show’s spell the first time I saw it, and I wasn’t the only one: Pretty Little Liars led me to my best friend.

Ironically, plotlines about deceit and betrayal actually helped ignite a long-lasting friendship. In 2011, the only other person I knew to be watching PLL was my now-BFF, Taylor, who’s been by my side for over a decade. We were only about 11 and 12 when it premiered, so shout out to our parents for letting us watch a show that dealt with very adult themes like substance use disorder, assault, and grief. Unlike our classmates, who watched tween-appropriate hits like iCarly and Victorious, we became PLL stans.

As fans know, the show is loosely based on the Sara Shepard YA series of the same name, and the first book was my entry point into the PLL universe. I loved reading about blackmailers and murderers navigating high school, but I thought I was the only one who was into it. (Was this my ~I’m different~ complex showing, or were my peers just naturally more inclined to recap Dance Moms? I’ll never know.) So, Taylor first struck up a conversation with me at school because she spotted the first PLL book on my desk — you know, the one painted with porcelain wax dolls warning to “never trust a pretty girl with an ugly secret” in a Gothic script. She asked if I’d watched the TV adaptation yet and we immediately exchanged phone numbers to text about upcoming episodes. We then fell into the fandom. Fast.

I’d never talked to Taylor before this interaction — we had only been in a few classes together — but I always saw her as approachable and friendly. Universally, the beginning of middle school is a big and terrifying year when kids from different elementary schools unite. Eager to meet new people, I reached for friendship at any chance I could get. Taylor made it easy. Aside from being a genuinely kind person (a rare trait for a middle schooler!), she was fangirling over the same thing as me.

Fast forward over a decade later, and the show still feels timeless, especially in its accurate depictions of how dramatic high school can get. It’s no surprise there’s a PLL HBO Max reboot on the way along with the remakes of other buzzy shows from that era (hello, 2010s nostalgia). Ah. It was a simpler time. Back then, Freeform was still ABC Family and for me, Tuesdays meant one thing: PLL is on. What first started as a solo viewing experience soon became a designated hangout time, a time slot reserved for me and Taylor to gush over how much we loved Ashley Benson. (We still do!)

The series had a vibe similar to Gossip Girl or Bridgerton in that a mysterious, unidentifiable pot-stirrer keeps fans guessing each episode, but it was arguably so much better since “A,” the anonymous villain, is out for, you know, murder. Ultimately, it was the type of whodunit that made me and Taylor (and millions of viewers) go down a couple of Reddit rabbit holes — remember the “Aria is A” suspicion? — and this is where my and Taylor’s experience with fan theories began.

Oh, and let’s not forget the location. PLL takes place in the fictional suburb of Rosewood, Pennsylvania, and for two girls from Bucks Country — aka the Philadelphia ‘burbs — we ate it up. The beloved “Welcome to the Dollhouse” episode was exceptionally creepy not only because the Liars get locked into a life-size replica of their bedrooms, but also because our real neighborhood looks extremely similar to their hometown. It operates like Rosewood, too, in that small-town gossip travels at lightning speed.

The Pennsylvania-based plotline also made it easier for us to identify with the characters, who felt like extensions of ourselves. In many ways, we got to know each other through their personalities. Taylor is studious and high-achieving, obviously a Spencer. And I owned feather earrings because I saw Lucy Hale sport them in Season 1, so obviously an Aria. Asking “Are you more of a Hanna or an Emily?” held as much weight in 2012 as asking someone their rising sign in 2021. While it might not say much, it also tells you everything you need to know about a person.

PLL got its start right before live-tweeting shows became popularized, so when we weren’t together, I used to text Taylor on my slide-out keyboard phone (only Zillennials will remember) to compare notes without stumbling upon many spoilers. They read something like this: “Caleb and Hanna are soul mates, TBH.” Like every other fan, we theorized about why A had to be Ian… and Melissa… and Jenna… and Mona… and, you get the point. When our elaborate speculations ran cold, we’d pause DVR’d episodes to gather more clues, like glimpses of Red Coat’s face in her second season introduction, or inspections of those eerie-gloved hands assembling dolls and sharpening knives at the end of each episode.

This game of Clue made room for conversations about all the things. We were in high school during the show’s peak, so it felt like the Liars had laid the groundwork for how to operate our school’s halls. Rosewood High was not traditional — uh, multiple students came back from the dead (*cough* Mona and Alison) — but it did prepare us for the stressors of college applications and first romantic relationships. In fact, Benson’s Hanna Marin would be proud of my matchmaking skills because back then, I introduced Taylor to the boyfriend she’s still with today.

As we both grew up with the show, our friendship got even deeper. The Liars weren’t the only ones to share secrets, and I found it incredibly easy to confide in Taylor. She’s trustworthy, level-headed, compassionate, and an excellent listener. She’s someone I know will always pick up on the second ring and is the type of friend to be there with advice, reassurance, and a quick-witted one-liner. She once joked about never needing a diary because we’ve transcribed the past 10 years of our lives via text.

Our bond has remained strong, especially because the most outrageous PLL-esque plotlines of our lives are ones we’ve experienced together. I love Taylor because I don’t have to provide background for my stories. I’m even so familiar with the cast of characters in her life that when someone re-enters after a long period, I like to say they Alison DiLaurentis’ed her.

And on the off-chance she’s not there to witness something meaningful happen to me IRL, she’s always ready to decipher what went down over texts or dinner and drinks — just like we did when we were teens trying to figure out who A was (minus the wine, of course).

The way she can reconstruct my way of thinking and offer up a perspective I hadn’t seen before is almost paranormal. Whether these are Taylor’s naturally given talents or traits learned from peeling back all the layers of the series, I’m not sure. But she’s always there to decode situations with me — whether they relate to a TV show or during moments when I feel lost.

I couldn’t be more thankful that Taylor entered my life and that PLL played a role in our friendship. I feel so incredibly lucky to know someone like her. Plus, now I have someone who is obligated to watch the reboot with me. Ali was right: Friends do share secrets. And she’s ~quite literally~ the reason Taylor’s got all of mine. Spencer and Aria, you’ve got some competition.

Get More Dating Advice Here

[its-just-like-the-movies]

March 2018 Viewing Log

March Viewing List:

Félicité (17, A-): You watch it in your head the way you watch Get Out in your guts. Deftly negotiates an evolving story, impenetrable characters. 3/1/18

I, Tonya (17, B+): WHERE is Sebastian Stan’s nomination? 3/3/18

The Salesman (17, A-): N/A 3/5/18

Since You Went Away (44, B): Homefront patriotism often blunt, but melancholy and deep family ties are richly evoked. Colbert works it. 3/5/18

Since You Went Away is an Important film that I like well enough but Airplane! ruined that goodbye train sequence for me

The Descent (06, B+): Human terror of the first half amplifies and complicates the inhuman ones of the second. Fuck caves. 3/6/18

I don't know WHAT is in those caves but this is scary enough without subterranean hell beasts

Western (18, A): Astounding document of communication, of assimilation as filtered by fondness, prejudice, and outsider status. 3/8/18

A Wrinkle in Time (18, B-): Impassioned heart of first half (C+) limit its impact, but raised stakes of second half (B) bring it to life. 3/9/18

Black Panther (18, B): Three times I've seen Black Panther now, and every time I've had a different reaction. What an unexpectedly slippery film. 3/10/18

Plus: Wakanda and the characters are wonderfully realized on a visual scale. Minus: Morrison is so the film's most uneven contributor, and the editing's not super either

The Party (18, D+): Why offer ideas when I can just state my personal ideologies in overbaked witticisms? That's the same thing, right? 3/11/18

Lifeboat (18, B): Stylistically limited. Script muddled. Impactful nonetheless, but there's a tougher film inside. Tallulah pretty good 3/11/18

Stonewall (15, D): Engages ideas with barely any complexity, horrendously made and acted. Perfect case of what not to do at every turn. 3/13/18

Whoever this is playing Marsha is Bad

Every scene of Stonewall opens like it's a porno but then just devolves into abusive nonsense or mangled attempts at pathos

Can't believe I just had to watch Jeremy Irvine almost cry his way through a blowjob

Why is there not one sexual encounter that isn't remotely horrifying in one way or another

*with completely unconvincing anger* GAY POWER!!! GAAAYYY POOOWEER

Wow this really. Does not know what to do with the riot huh?

You're telling me there were FOUR ADDITIONAL NIGHTS and just skipping them over for what? For that? What kind of nonsense is this?

The Danish Girl (15, D): Dismal understanding of its own characters, further heightened by Hooper's directorial style. Final scenes laughable. 3/14/18

I saw folks criticize Get Out for its painfully low budget but like, Danish Girl is buried in money and has no idea what good framing is

Redmayne is weirdly creepy?, and Vikander's hardly the life raft I remembered

I would honestly take the very fascinating and somewhat engaged failure of Stonewall to the overwrought disconnect of The Danish Girl

Why does the actual surgery seem so terrifying? For fuck's sakes

Why are they playing it like Lili knows she's doing the new surgery too soon and - ergo - is planning on dying? What is this?

Tom Hooper's sense of framing is absolutely hazardous

Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy (11, B): N/A 3/14/18

The Big Sick (17, B): Appropriately messy, but could be leaner. Heart, warmth, terrific writing and performances more than worth it. 3/15/18

Fullmetal Alchemist (18, D-): Atrocious wigs. Even more atrocious CGI (besides Al). Even more more atrocious adaptation. 3/19/18

It's bungling the iconography soooo badly

Velvet Goldmine (98, A): Deconstruction/eulogy/celebration uses the emptiness of its era to poignant, startling effect. 3/20/18

Gloriously mounted, delightfully pansexual, rich with ideas. Haynes, Powell, Alberti all flying above us.

In honor of Brian Slade I'm gonna fill my queer cinema paper with lots of big, flashy words and drain it of any substance whatsoever

My Entire High School Sinking Into the Sea (17, B): N/A 3/23/18

A Woman's Life (17, A-): N/A 3/23/18

Double Indemnity (44, A-): Deliciously entertaining, muscularly constructued. Script, actors fit together like a watch. 3/23/18

Love, Simon (18, B): Incredibly charming cast & story. Kinda long, ends a lot, but more personality and gayness than I expected. Miller the MVP. 3/25/18

I’d like to amend here and now that after stewing on it some more I rank it at about a C+, think the cast is sorta iffy outside of Miller, and that the film’s relations to queerness and to race are problematic

Moonlight (16, A-): The kind of film that gives Best Picture a good name. Hard to image a storytelling mode it doesn't perfectly utilize. 3/26/18

Contextualizing this for class has made me even more impressed with the film as an act of representation and as a marvelously assembled artwork

Ali, Rhodes, Holland, Laxton, Brittel, Jenkins, all all all all perfect. Sound mixing, editing even better than I remembered

The surest sign that I'm learning shit in college is that I feel a lot more confident in my ability to explain what I love about this film in a way I know I couldn't last year

The Death of Stalin (18, C+): Cast, script have many moments but escalation of Ianucci's themes yield broader, easier film than In The Loop. 3/26/18

Menace II Society (93, B): More schematic, less impactful than Boyz, but does right by less respectable characters without glorification. 3/26/18

The Imitation Game (14, D+): Not a bad codebreaker film, decently acted. Near absolute failure to engage with Turing's sexuality pathetic. 3/28/18

Fifty minutes into the Imitation Game. Still no mention of his homosexuality. Still no need for the schoolboy shit. Still whatever

59 minutes. First sighting of homosexuality

My fuckin skull hurts how did this WIN adapted screenplay

Has any character gone without one monologue about how awful Alan Turing is? I don't think so

I should clarify that yes, I am upset about how the film handles his homosexuality, but also it's just terrible from a storytelling standpoint

Wishing Carol had won Adapted Screenplay even more just so we could've gotten four consecutive years of The Gays absolutely OWNING that category

[syfygirl1998]

Fun fact: you can like House Stark and be their fan and be a Daenerys stan at the same time

Personally, I’m a Stark book stan, not a show Stark stan. In the books they’re all just as morally gray as every other character in the books. Both as a House and as individual characters. The North knows their history of being the conquerors and being the conquered, they accept both sides. All the current members of the House have light and dark sides.

Book!Jon is a sarcastic ass, he’s smart, he’s manipulative, he’s negotiated with the Iron Bank! HE SWITCHED BABIES. He’s not dim Show!Jon who’s literally known for the quote “you know nothing”, this brooding whitewashed hero only Jon who can do no wrong and his mistakes are looked at with a “oh he’s just stupid” outlook.

Book!Arya is sweet, she’s friendly and fiery and cries for her family at night. She loves meeting new people, from every continent and ever social class and trading stories of their travels. She loves and misses her pack and her home, not just the castle or the godswood but the common people there too. She’s not an emotionless assassin who likes killing and sailing like Show!Arya. Book!Arya literally couldn’t give less of a fuck about west of Westeros.

Book!Rickon is interesting, he’s grown up with Osha and Shaggydog in a wild northern subculture. He misses his mother and dreams about her red hair. Show!Rickon didn’t even get a speaking line for an entire season, was barely talked about and hasn’t been mentioned since he died. Show!Rickon was just a plot device to excuse Show!Jon saying ‘fuck battle strategy’ and then have him beat up Ramsay.

Book!Bran is actually interesting, he misses his family and he thinks and dreams about Arya when he sees Meera and it makes him cry when he realizes it’s Meera and not Arya. Did Show!Bran even matter? They forgot him for an entire season and then brought him back to be useless and creepy.

Book!Sansa has a dark uprising in the Vale, she’s learning more about politics from the Vale Lords, Harry the Heir and Littlefinger. Add that to what she picked up from Cersei. But even though she’s politically inclined, she’s still a lot like the young naive girl we met in book 1. She hasn’t been raped to strengthen her character either because she doesn’t need it. Show!Sansa isn’t even Sansa. She’s Jeyne Poole + some Arya plot + some Alys Karstark plot + some who wrote this and why.

Book!Robb is a teenager but he’s a great strategist and he’s as honourable as his father. He married Jeyne (YES, JEYNE. WHO IS TALISA?) because he slept with her and couldn’t bear to have a bastard who would be treated like Jon was. He’s a good warrior and brother. Show!Robb is as close to book canon as expected, because GRRM helped write him and he died before the show went to shit.

Honestly, I’ll take Book Starks anyday over Show Starks. And I adore Daenerys.

you shouldn't call yourself a stark fan if you're just going to defend dae/nerys all the time

thank you random internet police!