#we should actually just stop calling it ai because ai literally does not exist but! alas!

[castielsprostate]

sick of seeing that ai art tattoo ad. like. wow you want a tattoo. a permanent Art Piece. but then you fundamentally Do Not Respect Art enough to just. ask the tattoo artist to design your tattoo???

oh my god literally this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! machine learnt art in general is absolutely abysmal but???? to have it????? placed????? on????? your?????? fucking??????? body????????? for?????? DECADES?????????????????????????? are people okay???????????????????? i mean i know they aren't but like????????????? this is just next level taking a pinterest tattoo and getting it tattooed by the shitty art shop down the street where they also sell soap and knives

[valley-o]

actually i have commented this on enough posts that it should be its own post

chatgpt Bad. we all know and understand this. it is a flawed resource that doesn't understand what it's saying and is putting people off from learning more flexible and important life skills. anything it can do something else can do miles better.

but PLEASE can we stop reinventing ableism to insult anyone who's ever used it?? making recipes can be hard. writing emails can be hard. learning these things is hard, and there are genuinely great resources online to help with those. and if someone mistakes chatgpt for a good resource, then they are literally just believing all the marketing that has been misinforming them!! it does not say anything about their morality. it does not make them stupid. it makes them misinformed, and they deserve to know about better tools for their issues.

but ive seen a lot of people acting like the problem is not people using gen ai to solve issues, it's that people need help with issues at all. and that's...not the issue. some people need outside help to complete tasks. these people will always exist. and informing them that the tool they have found to help them isn't helping them at all, and is stealing information without credit, is important, but shaming them for not knowing how to do basic things is Just Ableism. That's Just Ableism. Come On.

if someone fully knows all about its issues and chooses to still use the misinformation generator of chatgpt for their thesis or degree or what have you, then by all means, have at them for causing future harm to those who learn from them. because they are knowingly doing that. but skipping the Informing part and heading straight to name calling is Not It.

i feel like this is very rambly but basically. people using chatgpt are not your enemy. chatgpt itself and the people creating it are. show people their tool is useless and harmful, and they will listen, learn, and have a better life for it. call people stupid and tell them to be ashamed of themselves, and you are being ableist. it is really that simple.

[thebreakfastgenie]

I got a little ranking request for you: What are your Top 5 best and Top 5 worst Billy Joel music videos?

Omg okay. This is so hard!!!

Top 5 best:

Turn the Lights Back On

This is the one that makes me the most emotional. It's not even the AI younger versions of him, although those are great, but the old footage they put in at the end. Oh my god. It gets me every time. And when he turns the page from Famous Last Words at the beginning.... it gets me every single time. It's really beautifully made and I'm so glad we have it.

2. The Longest Time

This is a nice simple concept and I really love it. The old age makeup is a little goofy but it's worth it to me. I love seeing the band singing together in this one! The lyrics are romantic but the video is about the group of friends and it's nice.

3. You're Only Human

Billy Joel called this video terrible but he's just mean. It's cheesy but it makes it work. I think the cliche of homaging It's a Wonderful Life actually helps, because it doesn't take itself totally seriously. I like the narrative videos, which he would hate, but too bad. This is the only song of his that I enjoy significantly more with the video. He's great in it! He gets to ham it up and be silly and then he does the scene where he takes the kid to see the cops informing his parents that he's dead and he gets that look on his face. My heart. Playing the Piano Man riff on the harmonica is such a perfect touch. It really personalizes it and takes it from being a straight It's a Wonderful Life scenario to being a message from Billy Joel himself.

4. Pressure

This one is a really great example of surreal music videos that raise more questions than they answer. I think it's just really well-done and the effects are cool. It has some funny little easter eggs too, like "William Joel, age 29, occupation computer software."

5. A Matter of Trust

This is more of a performance video, but it has just enough narrative setting to it to make me interested. I like the rehearsal concept, even if seeing him play a guitar is weird. The comedy beat with the lady yelling at them to shut up is fun. Everyone in the street stopping to listen is predictable but it works. And the cameo from Christie and Alexa is adorable. "Okay girls, A Matter of Trust!" my heart!!

Honorable mentions that I adore but didn't make this list because I think these 5 are better: Keeping the Faith, She's Right On Time, Uptown Girl, We Didn't Start the Fire, Tell Her About It.

Top 5 worst:

Zanzibar

I don't even know what's going on here. He's released two other animated videos in recent years and those are both pretty good. This one is just weird.

2. Piano Man (1985)

I don't think either Piano Man video should exist, but between the two of them this one is worse. I hate how literally it interprets every line, I hate how brightly colored it is. I don't know if it's supposed to be comedic or it's just 80stastic but it's not dark and gritty like the song is in my head. This video represents everything he's ever said is bad about videos. I have my own extremely clear vision of the piano bar in my head from the song and this is getting in the way. Among the reasons this one is worse, it's very obvious when you look at him that it was filmed in the 80s, not the early 70s. His hair is completely wrong.

3. To Make You Feel My Love

There's no point to this, they just needed a video because they put this out as a single with Greatest Hits Volume 3. It works slightly better for Hey Girl.

4. And So It Goes

I have nothing against this it's just completely pointless. It doesn't add anything to the song. The only good part is the shot of his hands playing.

5. The Downeaster "Alexa"

I just don't like how it's edited and I really want this song to have a better video.

The only ones on the worst list I really feel strongly about are the first two though!

And then there's Sometimes a Fantasy which is both the worst and the best.

There's a video limit but I can link it.

I honestly think it's pretty well made and I really enjoy it but it's weird and it makes me feel a little gross. It just... is.

Thanks for the ask!

[anendoandfriendo]

New ADHD/Autism special interest unlocked: create an ethical AI model and train it, you know, ethically, so all of the artists we would be training the model on knew what they were getting into and they could literally just make separate art for that or just decline if they wanted, instead of whatever the fuck Tumblr and everyone else seem to be doing, so there is an anime person AI model out there that does not:

assume flat chested feminine-read people are children

assume men in skrts are rare and we do not need to put in "ugly,  deformed, noisy, blurry, distorted, out of focus, bad anatomy, extra limbs, poorly drawn face, poorly drawn hands, missing fingers, disproportionate anatomy, realistic, photo, close-up, female: 1.1, woman: 1.1, girl: 1.1, breasts: 1.1, long hair: 1.1, shorts: 1.2, jeans: 1.2, makeup: 1.1, extra legs, extra arms, badly drawn face, poorly drawn eyes, badly drawn eyes" in exclusions when we could just type in "man in a skirt" in the prompt and do nothing in exclusions, and the job is done. We just want our anime boys in skirts.

for that matter, the sheer ableism in the words "ugly" and "deformed" and the ableism present for "missing fingers" and "extra limbs" and such being seen as default exclusions. So an anti-ableist AI model we guess

STOP ASSUMING EVERY BRAINBODY IS WHITE-SKINNED OR LIGHT-SKINNED BY DEFAULT. WE SHOULD NOT HAVE TO INPUT "DARK SKINNED" FOR A DARK-SKINNED PERSON??? THEY SHOULD GENERATE IN EQUAL NUMBER TO LIGHT-SKINNED PPL.

Why? Because we can fine-tune it ourselves then so we can actually see ourselves better when we have simply plural profiles. And also because of our friends. Who like. Shared this thing awhile back (web archive here):

Because like, yes, yes, we agree, from what we can understand the way a lot of them have been trained currently is completely unethical but the solution is not to take away an accessibility tool because everyone is having the same moral panic society had when computers and video games happened.

Like...the solution....is to make it so we have a universal basic income exists so people aren't forced to rely on ANY job weather they like that job or not, we have price control on all products to ever exist if society still thinks money should exist so we don't price gouge everyone into homelessness anyways, and make technology and how it is made much more transparent.

Fuckin. Fuckin hell. Traditionally hand-drawn art, computerized art with some manual work (we're thinking like...animation we guess here), and AI can all coexist lol. Don't @ us. We aren't debating this right now. We're telling people where we stand on this.

[aellynera]

An Off Day (Nathan Bateman x Reader)

AN OFF DAY

(okay, look. my husband thought he was being funny and said “give me a character and i’ll give you a scenario” and then i snorted laughing and then...well. this happened. set sometime before the events of the movie.)

((shoutout to @anetteaneta for an important bit of info and @tinygaydemonbby​ for the random chat and another key bit.))

Word Count: 2100(ish)

Summary: It’s your day off and you’re just trying to enjoy it. Nathan is working and he’s trying to enjoy it. It doesn’t at all go the way you imagined.

Warnings: Cursing. Banter. Robot sex (not graphic). Personal injury. Innuendo. Propositions. Nudity. Complete and utterly ridiculous trash. Possible typos. Nathan Bateman.

The absolute magnificence of the Alaskan landscape was something that, quite frankly, you were never going to get used to. The trees, tall and majestic, towering over the lush green grass. The river, crisp and pristine, bubbling its way to the immense waterfall that cascaded down the cliff face and eventually made its way into the ever-vast ocean. The bald eagles that would soar from treetop to treetop, even the occasional moose that would make itself known at the edges of the compound and then disappear like ghosts into the forest beyond.

It was otherworldly.

The occasional twig snapped and leaf crunched under your boots as you hiked along your usual trail along the north side of the property. Today’s air felt cool on your cheeks despite the sun overhead; at least it was summer - technically, even if the temperature wasn’t getting much above 60 degrees Fahrenheit these past few weeks - so you had twenty hours of daylight instead of the twenty hours of darkness in winter.

You found your favorite spot on a nearby rock and perched on the smooth surface, tilting your face up to that glorious, shining orb. This really was what you needed right now.

*ding!*

...And that was really what you didn’t need. Definitely not right now, and probably not later either. Speaking of otherworldly.

Your boss was a difficult man, and you had a strange rapport with him that was irritating on a daily professional basis, and to your dismay, increasingly so on a personal level. To be fair, you were the only two humans out here. To also be fair, your boss was kind of annoyingly hot.

You sighed and reached into your pocket, pulling out your phone and glancing at the screen.

God: Where the fuck are you?

God? What the… You were annoyed by the text, but more annoyed by the name. When the hell did that bastard changed his name in your phone? He was insufferable on the best of days, but this was a new low. A new high? You weren’t really sure. Sighing, you shot a text back.

You: It’s my day off.

God: You know that’s not really a thing here right?

You: It is when I need a break from you.

God: I’ll make it up to you.

You: Unless you’re asking me to dinner, I don’t want to hear it.

You groaned. You really didn’t mean to say that.

The little ellipses that showed he was typing back flashed across the screen several times, then stopped. Then popped back up, and stopped again. And just because your boss was your boss, it did it four more times, but still no response.

You shoved your phone back in your jacket pocket and returned your attention to the river, breathing deeply and watching the water swirl around a pile of rocks on the opposite bank.

*ding!*

Dammit.

God: I need you to come back like right now.

You: I’m not gonna sit around and be your Eliza Doolittle today, Nathan.

You weren’t just saying that. Last week, the man had dragged you, literally, into the lab by your elbow and had you repeat vowel sounds and random words extremely phonetically while holding a pulsing orb of glowing blue goo. He claimed it was some kind of brain training. You’d said it wasn’t part of your job description, but honestly, it probably was. You were there to assist, you were there to manage, you were there to occasionally have a satisfyingly intelligent and non-arrogant conversation, and you were mostly there to make sure Nathan Bateman didn’t blow anything up or burn anything down.

That didn’t necessarily mean you liked any of it. Okay, fine, you kind of liked the assisting part and definitely the intelligent conversation part. But it was your day off, and all you wanted to do was not be in the house.

God: What? No, it’s...I just need your help with something.

You: Nathan. It. Is. My. Day. Off. No assistance today. Bother me tomorrow.

God: ...Please?

That gave you pause. Since when did he actually ask for anything politely?

You: Fine. I’m halfway up summit trail, give me like 20.

God: Make it 10.

You:  Asshole.

God: And bring a bag of frozen peas.

What the actual hell.

You blinked at the screen twice, turned your phone off completely, and started back towards the house.

*****

You didn’t know why you paid the slightest bit of attention to Nathan’s request, but once in the house, you found yourself in the kitchen, pulling a bag of frosty legumes out of the freezer. With it in hand, you made your way to the lab.

Nathan hadn’t told you where he was, but you knew where to find him. He was always in the lab.

“Okay, I’m back,” you called out as you pushed through the door to Nathan’s inner sanctum. “Now what is so damn important that…”

“Oh thank fuck,” Nathan’s voice called out. “Do you have the stuff?”

You glanced around suspiciously. You couldn’t see him. Until you came around the side of the long table in the middle of the room and found him. Your eyes widened at the sight of Nathan, curled up on the floor in a fetal position, sweating and vaguely shaking.

And totally naked.

He glanced up as he saw your shoes approached and weakly raised his arm and made a grabby hand. “Gimme.”

Tossing the frozen vegetables to him, your mouth opened and closed several times, trying to process the scene. Before you could really take it all in, you watched as Nathan reached over his shoulder, grabbed his discarded t-shirt, and wrapping the icy bag in the shirt, placed it directly on his crotch.

“All right,” you finally got out, “what the actual hell is going on?!”

“Ohhhhh,” Nathan moaned as the cold compress made contact with his skin. “I thought I was gonna die.”

“Why are you naked?” you yelled at him.

“There was a malfunction,” he replied, nonchalant as if you were simply discussing the weather.

You just gaped at him. This was definitely not in your job description.

“A malfunction,” you repeated.

Nathan made a feeble gesture at the table. It was covered in metal parts and wires, screwdrivers and other things you assumed were robotic but couldn’t recognize. He had been working a new body build for the past few days, that much you knew. But now there were metal bits everywhere and Nathan was bare as the day he was born, sprawled in the middle of the floor. Your eyes scanned the table again; the biggest object, in the middle of the mess, looked sort of like...oh, you did not like where this was going. You pinched the bridge of your nose.

“I may have miscalculated the required tension,” Nathan said, still curled up on the floor.

The required...oh hell no.

“Nathan...you know you’re the literally the smartest person I know, and you know I think you’re brilliantly creative and inventive and all that important stuff, but please, please tell me you were not actually doing what I think you were doing,” you muttered.

“I was working!”

“You know I can just check the security footage, right?” you stared him down.

Nathan looked at you over the top of his glasses. “I had to test it and make sure it worked.”

You buried your face in your hands.

“Why does a robot have to have working...parts?!” As soon as you asked, you wished you hadn’t. This idiot genius actually had the nerve to blush. Slightly. He would never admit it, but his ears definitely got pinker than they’d been a few seconds ago.

Nathan sat up suddenly and glared at you, adjusting the ice pack again - thank the heavens - to keep himself covered. “First of all, it’s not a robot, it’s an AI. There’s a big difference. And second of all, we talked about this. The point is to make it as human as possible, so this particular part was necessary.”

The glare you shot back at him could have melted his current loincloth. It was your day off and Nathan couldn’t even leave you be for one whole day without his compulsion to cater to whatever whim was in his head and get under your skin. You dropped into one of the lab chairs.

“So...let me get this straight,” you sighed. God help you. But not the God in your cell phone, because he could go fuck himself. Or get fucked. Whichever.

Suddenly, through your haze of utter exasperation, what you’d just thought clicked into place and you snorted a laugh. Your eyes flashed over to the thing in the middle of the table. It was definitely shaped like a pelvis.

Nathan’s eyes became daggers. “What’s so fuckin’ funny?”

Your eyes went to the thing on the table and to his hands, and then back again. You shook your head, cleared your throat, and tried not to laugh again. It didn’t work. “Sorry. Um. So...what you’re saying is...you got injured because you were...fucking a robot pelvis.”

“I should fire you,” Nathan grumbled.

“And you got injured - from fucking a disembodied robot pelvis -”

“I am so going to fire you.”

“...because it was too...tight?”

“I shouldn’t have asked for your help. I should have just let myself die here, naked and unsatisfied.” He flopped back down.

You couldn’t help yourself any longer. Your laughter rang through the lab, a mixture of actual amusement and horrified reality. You snorted again and that made you laugh harder. Nathan had always joked about making a sex robot. Well, you thought he had been joking, but now, clearly not - and he’d hurt himself in the actual process of trying to make sure it worked. You weren’t a monster, you hoped he wasn’t truly actually injured, but you also took a little satisfaction in knowing karma existed.

After a few minutes, you wiped your eyes and looked down at him. Nathan stared back, but you could see the start of a sheepish smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.

“I told you I miscalculated the tension. It was fine--”

“Until it wasn’t?” you wheezed.

“--until it cut off all the circulation to my dick.”

You bit your lip. “Nathan Bateman. You literally cockblocked yourself.”

He didn’t respond right away. But then he spoke, at the same moment you noticed the smirk on his face fully bloom and what you’d come to call his “up to some bullshit” look glimmer in his eyes.

“Are you gonna come help me or not?”

“Excuse me?” You were fairly certain your eyebrows could not go any farther up your forehead.

“Well, I’m not in excruciating, unimaginable pain now, and I’d like to make sure my dick isn’t going to fall off. And I didn’t finish. Need a little help here.”

“You want me to--” you stuttered.

“Un-cockblock me,” his wolfish smile broke out fully now.

You hurled a pen at his head. “You really are an asshole.”

“I admit,” he continued, easily dodging your projectile, “this wasn’t what I was expecting for the first time you saw me naked, but I’ll work with what I got.” He started to remove the ice pack.

Another pen went flying his way. “You know, I’m just going to pretend that you’re not about to flash me with your mechanically impaired penis, and that you didn’t just proposition me, and I’m leaving this room now,” you said, standing up and shaking your head.

“Baby, you’re just gonna leave me hanging here?” he grinned, stretching back out on the floor. He folded his hands behind his head. The t-shirt wrapped bag of frozen peas remained - now perched rather proudly, you noted - on his groin.

A vexed growl left your lips as you walked towards the lab door. “Leaving now!”

“Well could you at least toss me my pants?”

You glanced down. Nathan’s sweatpants were balled up behind the lab door. How they’d gotten all the way over here...nope. Nope. You decided that information was entirely unnecessary.

You threw his pants at him and they hit him in the face with a satisfying whump.

“You sure I can’t convince you to help me out here?” Nathan asked serenely from under the fabric.

He couldn’t see the small smile on your face as you walked out the door. Thank god. Or...God. Whatever. The man was a menace.

“Ask me to dinner,” you called over your shoulder.

“I’ll text you,” he called back.

God.

~end~

taglist: @anetteaneta @autumnleaves1991-blog @damerondjarin @deeandbobbymcgee @rosemarysbaby13 @iamthe-shadow-on-the-wall @itspdameronthings @poedjarin @spider-starry @tinygaydemonbby @writefightandflightclub @woakiees @veuliee2 @yourbucky084​

(taglist open, click here to join if you’d like)

[oh-boy-me]

Idk if you’ve ever talked about it before, but how does Mammon speak in Japanese? In the translation, he speaks kinda rough and casual (maybe a bit of a southern USA flair? he uses y’all once or twice iirc) Does he have a particular accent or dialect in the OG text?

Oh, Mammon might be hard to break down, but I’ll see what I can do!

So I don’t think Mammon has any particular accent, per se?  I think he’s just very informal.

From what I’ve noticed, Mammon’s speech is characterized by informal phrasing and some phonetic changes.  I don’t think it goes into any actual ヤンキー (”delinquent youth”) territory, but I might be wrong as I don’t have any experience with that subculture.  Regardless, it’s pretty rough, and very informal.

The following example sentences all come from the phone call where he cancels your plans (I think it’s intimacy 25?), his home screen dialogue, and the current Halloween event.

And this time more than any before, Japanese is not my first language and I have never lived in Japan, so if you find anything incorrect about the content below, please let me know so I can fix it.

---Informal Phrasing---

Japanese has lot of different ways to say the same thing with varying levels of politeness.  Mammon tends to use (one of) the most direct ways of saying things.

It’s important to remember though that a lot of these “direct” things are characteristic of male speech in general, and I won’t go over those.  Mammon says やつ (guy, basically) to refer to others sometimes, but so does Lucifer.  Likewise, it’d be weirder if he didn’t use the dictionary verb form most of the time.  There might be some that I describe even though they aren’t particularly unique to Mammon, because I’m not an expert on masc-coded Japanese.

悪い！！ (warui)

(Phone call) This literally means “bad,” but in this context it’s “my bad” or “sorry.”  It’s a rough way to say it, rougher than ごめん (gomen), which I know Levi says off the top of my head, and すまない (sumanai), which I know Lucifer says.

If you need to apologize in Japanese, I think it’s best to stick to すみません (sumimasen) or ごめなさい (gomenasai) to avoid accidentally coming off as too rude or too stiff.

許せ！！ (yuruse)

(Phone call) This means “forgive me,” but like.  As a command.  A pretty demanding one at that.  An example you’ve probably heard is when a man yells やめろ (yamero) to make someone stop what they’re doing.

その時は何があっても予定を空けろよ！ (sono ji wa nani ga attemo yotei wo akero yo)

(Phone call) Here’s the imperative again.  空けろ (akero) is the command form of 空ける (akeru), which here means to clear your schedule (予定 is schedule).  The よ (yo) at the end softens the command a little. The sentence means “At that time, no matter what you’ve got going on, clear your schedule!”

A softer way to say it would be 空けて (akete), and even softer would be 空けてください (akete kudasai).  I’m pretty sure Mammon isn’t the only character to use the imperative like this, but he’s certainly uses it a lot.

館中の掃除を言いつけてきやがって…… (yakatachuu no souji wo ii tsuketeki yagatte)

(Phone call) You can tag やがる (yagaru) onto a verb to show your contempt for someone’s actions.  You hate that they did something.  Like most of these, it’s pretty harsh. The sentence means “He had the nerve to order me to clean the house,” but with the strength of やがって, “He fucking ordered me to” might be closer in attitude.

近いうちにまた誘ってやるから (chikaiuchi ni mata sasotte yaru kara)

(Phone call) If you read the Levi post, you might remember that やる (yaru) is a more colloquial way to say “to do” than する (suru).  It’s also a more colloquial way to say あげる (ageru), “to give.”  It used to imply that the recipient was on equal or lower standing with you, but I don’t think that’s really the case anymore except for how it’s not really a polite phrasing.  Attached to a verb, both あげる and やる imply a favor is being done. This means “I’ll invite you out again soon before long, so”

---Phonetic Shift---

In general, the most common phoneme shifts in Mammon’s lines are cutting the middle and monophthongization.  Cutting the middle is a term I’m making up for the sake of this post and is exactly what it sounds like: lengthening the first syllable in place of the next ones.  Monophthongization is when a vowel made of two sounds (diphthong) is pronounced as one sound (monophthong).  In the case of rough Japanese that we’re working with, that usually means <ai> and <oi> turning into <ee>.

そのなんつーか…… (Sono nan tsuuka......)

(Phone call) つーか (tsuuka) is short for というか (to iu ka).  You can see how “to iu” assimilates to “tsuu,” especially if you say というか a few times fast. なんつーか/何というか means “How should I put it?”

だぁっ！わーったよ！！ (Da-!  waatta yo)

(A Devildom Halloween, 1-3) わーった (waatta) is from わかった (wakatta), which means “I get it.”

そりゃ傑作だぜ！ (sorya kessaku daze)

(A Devildom Halloween, 2-16) そりゃ (sorya) is a shortened それは (sore wa), “that is.”  Also, I’m not sure where else to put this, but ぜ (ze) is a very strong assertive particle that I don’t think many people actually use anymore irl. The line is “That’s a great joke!”

すっげースピードで鞭とんでくるんだけど！ (suggee supiido de muchi tondekurun dakedo)

(Phone call) Here we start the examples of monophthongization, which is probably the worst word you’ve had to read in a while but I promise is the easiest phonetic concept to understand here.

すっげー (suggee) comes from すっごい (suggoi), which means either amazing or terrible, depending on the context.  Like I said before, <oi> often simplifies to <ee> (the second “e” is written either ー or え). The line means “The whip’s gonna come down real fast.”  すっげー is emphasizing the speed.

By the way, やばい (yabai) also means amazing or terrible, based on context, and can be changed to やべー (yabee) in the same way.  Mammon’s said that before too, but I don’t think it’s in my example pool.

あー…金降ってこ���えかなー (Aa... kane futte konee kanaa)

(Home screen) This time, the negative こない (konai) turns into こねえ (konee), with the same <ai> --> <ee> shift.  This time, it got written as ねえ instead of ねー. This is his “wish it’d rain money” line, and the translation is basically the same.

うるせぇ…… (urusee)

(A Devildom Halloween, 2-13) うるせぇ is from うるさい (urusai), which means “shut up.”  This time the second え is the smaller ぇ!

おっせえよ。俺を待たすんじゃねえ (ossee yo.  ore wo matasunjanee)

(Home screen) We’ve got two here, with 遅い (osoi), late, turning into おっせえ (ossee), and 待たすな (matasu na) becoming 待たすんじゃねえ (matasunjanee).  Putting んじゃない where a な would normally be makes it a rough-sounding command.  And then the ない turned into ねえ like tends to happen with Mammon.

The line is “You’re late.  Don’t keep me waiting.”

気安くさわんな！ (kiyasuku sawanna)

(Home screen, UR+ animation) This could possibly be in the first section too, idk, but.  The general way to say “don’t touch me” is 触らないで (sawaranaide), and a more casual way to say it is 触るな (sawaru na).  Mammon takes it a step further, and drops the る to say さわんな (sawanna).  Levi uses the 触るな style, so I assume Mammon’s style is pretty noticeably informal.

他人の為に何か買ってヤンなきゃならねぇんだ！ (tanin no tame ni nanka katte yannakya naraneenda)

(A Devildom Halloween, 2-13) やらなきゃならない (yaranakya naranai), is already a pretty casual way to say “have to.”  Mammon’s version uses the same んな as the last line, turning やらなきゃ into ヤンなきゃ (yannakya).  Also notice the switch from hiragana to katakana, which is often used to convey the conversational tone.  And then ない once again becomes ねぇ! The line is “Why do I have to buy something for someone else?!”

And last but not least... そうだ、殿下。　言い忘れてた (souda, denka. ii wasureteta)

(A Devildom Halloween, 2-23) This line means, “that’s right, your highness.  We forgot to say.” Why is this one last?  Mammon says this line to Diavolo.  From what I’ve seen it’s about the same level of politeness that Lucifer uses when talking to Diavolo.

It’s worth noting though that Lucifer and Mammon both speak casually to Diavolo.

So this isn’t organized at all, but I hope this gave you an idea of how Mammon’s idiolect ended up giving him a distinct one in the localization!

This is always a hot topic with Mammon’s portrayal as a POC character, so I need to say that I don’t know enough about Japanese subculture and language codes to say anything for sure about whether this makes him sound “uneducated.”  Impolite, definitely, but “uneducated,” I don’t know.  Regardless, the connotation definitely exists in how he’s written in English.  And with that I’d like to remind everyone that your idiolect says nothing about your intelligence.  Don’t judge a person’s worth by how many big words they use.

[shiny-procrastinates]

(re)Watching Magia Record S1 - part 11

part 10 here

Hello and welcome back everyone to our Magia Record s1 watch-along! Last time, we had the aftermath of the Endless Solitude's incident, found out that Mami is now part of the Wings of the Magius and left off with the reveal that one of Ui's (Iroha's sister, for those who have forgotten) might be another one of the Magius. What is this all about? Let's watch and find out:

Puella Magi Madoka Magica Side Story: Magia Record S1 episode 11

For some reason, we are now watching Tsukuyo's club practice. Wait- Akatsuki? That's not the surname I remember. We also see a photo of Mifuyu on the club room, so they must've been club mates.

Good question, Tsukuyo. Maybe she's waiting for Sana? (lies)

awnt the whole family's on the op now. Yachiyo is even smiling!

NOW we're back to where the other episode left off. According to Sana, she sometimes heard the Feathers talking about Nemu when they came to Ai's barrier to retrieve a witch. The girls then wonder if Nemu's being forced to work with them and Iroha says that maybe Ui's being kept captive by them too, with everyone falling silent at this.

Felicia asks if they can't just catch a Feather and force them to speak, so Tsuruno says if they should keep going after the Rumors them. While the three are wondering that, Iroha remembers about Tsukuyo, who she had seen in her uniform, and we are now back to the present.

Yeah right, are you saying you were actually triplets?

So Iroha decided to catch Tsukuyo after school. If Tsukuyo had a braincell, she could've left by a backdoor or used her magical girl powers to jump over the wall, but it seems she borrowed hers to Tsukasa today.

Tsukuyo stops Iroha from outing her as a Feather, so Iroha invites her to go talk somewhere else. Tsukuyo asks if she plans to interrogate her or worse but Iroha really only wants to talk.

After changing locations, Iroha seems to have told Tsukuyo about her situation. Tsukuyo asks why Iroha would go so far as telling her that, and Iroha answers that she needs to see Nemu no matter what.

After asking who between Tsukuyo and Tsukasa is the younger sister, appealing to their point in common, Iroha threatens outing Tsukuyo to the others if she doesn't let her see Nemu. Tsukuyo is shocked, asking if she's threatening her and Iroha says she doesn't care if she sees it that way. Damn, Iroha really means business when it's about her sister.

As always when it comes to Ui, Iroha's unusually pushy, and Tsukuyo ends up giving in and promising to at least talk to Mifuyu about it.

Later that day, the Mikadzuki girls minus Yachiyo are having a meeting in Iroha's room, and decide to get Yachiyo coasters as a thank-you present for giving them the mugs. So cute.

...that's some interesting club this school has.

The next day, Iroha meets up after school with the other girls to go buy the coaster. Can we talk about the fact there's a group chat just for watching over Felicia? lol

The girls go buy the coaster, and get interrupted by a witch. Guess we can add that to the things magical girls can't do in peace. No probs Tsuruno, there's really no run-time for this.

Look how happy she is. Please don't ruin this in the next scene, show (flag).

Back at the house, Iroha's waiting for Yachiyo's return on Tsuruno's instructions. She hears the doorbell ring and answers it immediately, thinking it's Yachiyo (really, Iroha, why would Yachiyo ring the doorbell to her own house?) but, shockingly, it's Mifuyu.

This probably situation couldn't get more awkward for Iroha had they tried. Iroha tries to show some hospitality, but Mifuyu takes the lead and the opportunity to rub in that she knows the place (and its owner) way better. What's with the attitude, Mifuyu? It's not like Iroha threatened your friend or a- oh wait, nvm.

Iroha asks what business Mifuyu has with Yachiyo today, and Mifuyu asks in return if she has to have some business in order to visit a friend... no, not business Mifuyu but normally you'd warn someone before dropping by, where's your manners? Iroha points out that she hasn't visited for a long time and Mifuyu explains that she didn't come because she knew Yachiyo wouldn't agree with The Wings of the Magius. She then explains she's actually there to talk to Iroha today.

Oh, she did it, she flipped Iroha's switch.

Mifuyu asks if Iroha wouldn't join the cult if she wants to know about Nemu, but Iroha questions Mifuyu's motive for recruiting her, to which Mifuyu says it'd be good for them because she'd be able to investigate about her sister without clashing with them. Iroha presses her about Ui, which she says she doesn't know, and Nemu, but Mifuyu does not say anything else.

...aaand the other girls are standing there in the garden while all this is going on lol

*peek*

Mifuyu invites the girls of Mikadzuki Villa to attend a lecture about what exactly the cult is doing... this is definitely a trap ain't it. At that moment, Yachiyo arrives. Oooh man...

Mifuyu apologizes for the surprise and makes to leave, saying this one unpleasant remark to which Yachiyo angrily replies right away.

Mifuyu provokes Yachiyo, saying how she went back to being her old self, which Yachiyo denies, eventually losing her cool and ordering Mifuyu to leave.

Tsuruno tries to check on Yachiyo but Yachiyo also leaves. Felicia's confused and Tsuruno tries to keep a bright mood, but the atmosphere is definitely ruined.

Yachiyo has went back to her room and-

ohhwoah what is that that's creepy!

So, uhh, Yachiyo is not well at all, she's now hallucinating. Whatever Mifuyu was trying to get at earlier it definitely got to her.

Seems the other girls aren't having a much better night either... but at least they're not hallucinating.

The next day, Iroha relays Mifuyu's invitation to the others. Yachiyo, however, refuses to take part in the conversation and leaves. She's very clearly still bothered about what Mifuyu said, and now she's avoiding her team.

Iroha and the girls have each their reaction to Yachiyo's behavior for a moment, but then go back to the matter at hand. Sana asks if Iroha really plans on going to the lecture, and she says she decided it'd be best to go, after thinking it over. They don't want to fight the cult either, so it shouldn't hurt to at least try to hear them out. Felicia says it's definitely a trap but that they can just break out together then, with Tsuruno agreeing. The two laugh, but doesn't it feel kinda forced?

...and then they realize no one knows where Memory Museum is lol

Mitama! Long time no see.

Iroha drops by the Coordinator's to ask about Memory Museum, which Mitama reveals is a Rumor that's being spread around Sakae Ward.

We then get a scene about the contents of the Rumor. Apparently, the Memory Museum archives memories (who'd thought!) and you can do things with them by ringing a bell, or something. But if you see one you'll end up influenced by it. (I refuse to comment about the goat)

In any case, Momoko points on the map the probable location of Memory Museum, to which Iroha thanks the two and goes back. After Iroha leaving, Mitama advises Momoko to tell "something", at least to Rena, since Kaede is still down, and Momoko says she knows. Quite the dark clouds are on the horizon.

No, literally. It's raining.

Back at Mikadzuki Villa, all the girls except Yachiyo are leaving to go to Memory Museum. Iroha warns Yachiyo they're leaving, but she doesn't answer. Ohh Yachiyo, please, are you sure you won't regret this later?

Iroha and co. naruto run on the rain to Memory Museum, meeting Chibi Kyuubei on the entrance. Yep, definitely Rumor. I might be going crazy but I always think that Iroha looks more her age with the raincoat, despite Madoka's wei- I mean, unique art style. Gotta be something with the proportions.

Also like this detail with Tsuruno's coat folded weird and Felicia's not folded at all lol

We are platformer game now

While climbing up the drawers, the girls talk about chibi Kyuubei, eventually raising suggestions on how to name him... which is funny because that's for the player to decide in the game, so we don't have an official way to call him.

Meanwhile, Rena's meeting up with Momoko. She starts complaining like usual, but soon hesitates when she reads the mood. Momoko says she thought it was time to tell her what happened to Yachiyo one year ago. Wait, what? We never heard about anything either.

But, well... we can guess.

Back at the Memory Museum, Iroha might be the unluckiest mahou shoujo ever, because

One of the Magius is none other than one of her sister's friends.

- x -

Aaand that's it for episode 11. That last scene is a bomb drop, but it's not like you couldn't see it coming from the moment they said Nemu was part of the cult. I mean, if one of the hospital trio was erased from existence, and the other was part of the cult, what were the odds that the last one would be normal? lol

Talking about this scene, I feel compelled to post here the corresponding still from the game, because the world was robbed of Iroha's surprisingly gallant back:

Seriously, when was she ever this cool?

On the other hand, Touka looks like a cute normal kid here which is about as far of the truth as we can get, so I'll give the anime credit for that.

All that aside, we are now approaching the end! With the Magius giving a lecture about salvation and Momoko having a talk with Rena, it's quite clear that the truth about magical girls is about to be revealed to our cast next episode. The big question here is: how will they react? Felicia specially shouldn't be very happy to learn this, considering what her wish was. Exciting!

We also have left to wonder what's up with Yachiyo. Why did what Mifuyu say affect her so much? We have yet to see her backstory, so Momoko talking might just gives us the answer to that question.

With that said, I'll leave it here for today. I can't believe this ended up even later than yesterday considering I start writing even earlier. Dammit short attention span, stop getting sidetracked pls. Tomorrow we'll be watching episode 11 that's looking really promising, so I hope you'll be reading me again then. Have a good morning/afternoon/evening and bye-bye!

[baekhyuq]

“Cybersex.” Baekhyun (m) Robot!bbh

[Artificial Intelligence!Baekhyun/Robot!Baekhyun]

Genre: Smut/Fluff

Word count: 3.5k

Playlist: Cybersex - Doja Cat/Say so-Doja Cat

Summary: You order your first AI because you’re lonely, but the AI seems to be more in control of you than you are of him.

Dragging the tab to customize your characters face, you make a sound as it comes together. Your customized character looks absolutely fuckable. In your own words.

Your friend—Yeri—introduced you to a very popular company that allows you to custom a robot/AI and have it delivered right to your door step. This was a dangerous thing you’ve considered many times. What if the AI becomes something evil? Your worries were just childish but valid. Your friend assured you nothing bad would happen, you could always report it to the company.

She went on to tell you how she’s had her AI for about a year and nothing has happened. You remember coming over to meet her robot—man. He was charming to say the least, with the modern technology they’ve developed over the years, they’ve replicated human emotions almost perfectly. Some interactions are still awkward and stiff between the human and AI.

“It’s expensive but worth it, I need somebody.” You talk yourself into hitting the confirm order button. You stare at the button for over 5 minutes before clicking it and instantly regret.

“W-wait.” You breathe out, what if this was the worst thing you’ve done yet?

***

“Y/n you can’t cancel it...Once the order is made you can’t go back.” Yeri tells you over lunch. You’re both eating veggie burgers with a side of fries. You explained how you’ve tried everything to cancel your order to the company.

“I cant believe I just blew so much money on fucking AI.” You sulk in your seat, the truth is, you’re lonely and need a companion but literally buying one isn’t the way to go about it. Right?

“I just wanted someone to share my time with.” You confess, embarrassed. “Is there really no way to cancel my order?” You ask for the third time.

Yeri sighs, “No. Y/n, just think of it as a treat for yourself. There’s no harm done with wanting company!” She manages to cheer you up about the situation in which you’ve spent a large sum on a robot man.

If there’s no way you’re getting your money back then you might as well start making a place for it to stay.

You and Yeri shop for things to decorate its room with. Living in a two bed apartment, you had the space for the AI to live. Or exist, whatever it will do.

Your phone dings, indicating a text message. You check your phone, a message displaying across the screen. “AI has been delivered.”

It’s been only a day.

“Yeri!?!” You yell in the middle of checking out.

She turns to you with wide eyes, “What’s wrong? Do you not like the bedding that much? I’ll change—“

“It says he’s been delivered!” You whisper yell, you didn’t want anyone knowing you fell into society’s trap of having an AI.

Yeri’s face relaxes, “Their delivery has gotten faster, Chanyeol took about three days for them to ship him.” She smiles fondly, “We should go to your house asap.”

***

“I didn’t freaking know he would get here the very next day!” You’re more freaked out by the very tall box that’s standing by your front door.

“I-is he alive in there?” You tap the box.

“He has to be activated first silly.” Yeri giggles at you, pushing the box past your door way. “Let’s go!”

“Yeri im terrified.” The heavy box has been standing in your living room for almost 20 minutes. Yeri has had enough of your hesitating self, she’s taken the responsibility into her own hands to open the box.

“Instructions. These are important, so don’t throw them away, got it?” She talks you through the unboxing. She pulls the wings of the cardboard back and you see a hand.

“Oh my god!” You cover your eyes. This can’t be fucking happening.

Yeri tears away the plastic the robot is wrapped in. You peep through your fingers. He’s absolutely breathtaking. You gasp audibly.

“Oh my god, Y/n. You made this?!” Yeri’s surprised by how handsome he is, giving his shoulder a squeeze. “Oh he’s toned, lets activate him!”

Yeri takes your phone and goes to the app of the company. She navigates through some steps before coming to a loading bar.

“Once this is filled up then you’ll have yourself a man!” Yeri’s clapping happily as she sits beside you to wait patiently. “You did such a good job, his face is so handsome.”

You’re jaw is still on the ground, you can’t believe your creation is here in the...flesh? You’re scared but at the same time you’re also excited.

“It’s almost finished.” Yeri’s voice breaks you out of your staring competition with the robot that has ceased to live yet. “Complete!”

A sound is emitted from the app, a beeping and a few buzzing sounds before its quiet. You can Yeri are hanging off the edge of the couch.

“Did it work—“

The AI jolts to life and looks around the room before introducing himself, “Hello, my name is Baekhyun.” A smile reaches his face and he looks even more handsome.

You’re forced to stand, reaching out to take his hand, shaking it. “H-hello my name is Y/n. It’s nice to finally meet you, Baekhyun.” Your hand is sweaty and you’re hoping he isn’t able to feel it.

“Your hand is damp, sweaty palms is an indicator that the person is nervous. Am I making you nervous Y/n?” The AI says intelligently, his voice is soothing. It’s also embarrassing that he just pointed that out.

“I’m sorry, I’ve been nervous since I ordered you...” You’re uncomfortable claiming that you bought him right to his face. Is it like an unnamed rule that you shouldn’t mention it?

“That is a normal reaction I suppose.” He laughs, your heart melts and your stomach erupts with butterflies. “Your brain is releasing oxytocin and cortisol, now your blood vessels around your gut are constricting. You must be feeling nauseous now, or as you humans call it ‘having butterflies in your stomach’.”

How can he tell by just standing near you?! It’s almost creepy!

“Baekhyun you’re very knowledgeable, you know that?” Yeri jumps in to slice the awkward conversation. She stands up to shake Baekhyun’s hand introducing herself.

“Nice to meet you, Yeri.”

“I actually have an AI of my own, his name is Chanyeol.”

“I’ve never heard that name before. He must be a customized model?” Baekhyun asks.

Yeri nods, “I should introduce him to you one day!” That’s not a bad idea, Baekhyun will probably become lonely here when you’re out.

Baekhyun smiles before shifting his attention to you. “You are my creator, correct?”

His question throws you off for a second. “Yes.”

“Alright, you must answer a few questions for my system if that’s alright.”

“Ah yes, that’s fine, please come and sit.” You and Baekhyun sit next to each other while Yeri wonders off into the kitchen for food.

Baekhyun asks questions such as what his duties are, or where he may or may not go in the house, ect.

“What is my purpose?” He asks, a blue dot by his ear lights up.

“For keeping me company...” You couldn’t blatantly tell him he was here because you wanted a man in your life! What kind of creator would you look like?

“Just company?” Baekhyun smirks almost, a questioning look on his face. He doesn’t press further, not wanting to make you uncomfortable. He could sense your heart rate increase at his questions. Your cheeks were becoming red by the minute. Each question would result in a stuttering response from you. Baekhyun found you fascinating.

“That is all I needed thank you, my system will accommodate to you based on the answers you provided.”

“Ah, no problem.” You can’t help but stare at him, he’s just so perfect. The round rip of his nose and the curve of his cheeks. It’s all so inhuman.

“I h-have a question actually.” You turn to face Baekhyun, your leg brushing his.

He nods encouraging you to speak.

“May I touch your face? I know it sounds weird but I just can’t stop staring at it, I know I created your face and all but I just want to see for myself. You know? Should I not mention that I created you? Does it make you uncomfortable? I won’t do it if you’re uncomfortable—“

Baekhyun interrupts your speech by grabbing your hand and placing it on his cheek. “Fleshy exterior and a metal interior. I’m made of 60 percent of customized silicone to replicate human skin. But the rest of me is various metals. You may ask any other questions you might have, I will answer to the best of my abilities.” His voice is silk, not skipping even one beat as he spoke.

Your hand hesitates in feeling around his face, tracing his nose and pinching his cheeks even. He feels just like a human. “What’s your hair made of?”

“100 percent human hair.” He chuckles, his hands in his lap. “My teeth are made of the silicone and various muscles replicated are made from the silicone, but with variations of densities with making one organ harder or squishy. Here touch it.” He sticks out his tongue and you grab it without hesitation. It’s wet and rough like a tongue.

“Wow, thats so freaky.”

“Right? The wondrous world of AI technology!” Baekhyun’s first joke to crack has you giggling endlessly.

***

‘He’s charming’ is your first thought of Baekhyun, he hasn’t stopped making you laugh since he’s arrived. Another thing is that he’s understanding, you’ve been sharing your personal life with him and he’s listened the whole time without judgement. He’s even given you well constructed advice.

“Ah! I forgot, Yeri and I were actually shopping for your room today. We picked up a few things, we weren’t sure what you’d like since...you know.” You led him to his room which was right across form yours.

“Wow that’s very considerate of you both, I really appreciate it.” Baekhyun looks around, the rooms to his liking. He doesn’t know exactly what he likes about it but he’s content with it.

“If you want anything else to decorate it with just let me know!” You stand at the door with your hands together. It’s an awkward silence before Baekhyun speaks.

“Is there anything that you would like me to do?”

“Oh, I—no. Not right now, no.” Your stuttering response makes Baekhyun emit a laugh.

“You don’t have to be nervous around me Y/n. I am your creation think of me as...” He pauses to think, his chin in his hand. He looks back at you, “Think of me as if i’m just your boyfriend!”

You choke on your spit, alarming Baekhyun who stands up to pat your back.

“Baekhyun I think i’m going to take a shower feel free to wonder the apartment.” You spit out before practically running to your room. If he wasn’t a fucking AI you would jump his bones right then and there.

You try to calm your heart rate with a steamy shower. The mirrors fogged up and you’re listening to your music on a low volume, minding your new roommate.

You’re shaving your legs when you hear the door open. You pause, did you hear right? There’s no possible way he would—

The shower curtain is ripped back and reveals a naked Baekhyun.

“Baekhyun—close the curtain! What are you doing in here!?” You scream in terror, your AI has literally just seen you naked.

“I thought this was an invitation? Did I read you wrong? Your body temperature was very high and your eyes were dilated. Those were signs of attraction, then you said you would go shower, I thought—“

“Baekhyun get out!” You cut him off by yelling.

Baekhyun leaves the bathroom. You’re absolutely mortified and embarrassed. You get out the shower wrapping a towel around your body to dry off. You begin to dress when you notice the shadow of his feet. You pull open the door, standing face to face with Baekhyun.

“Y/n, I ran through my system to see what mistake I made and I apologize.” He looks down at you, his arms at his side. He looks so robotic.

“Baekhyun don’t come into the bathroom when I’m in here... People take showers alone, okay?” You’re straining from what you want to actually say. Please fuck me now, Baekhyun.

“Yes Y/n.” There’s a pause. “Did you like it?”

“Like what?”

“The body you created.” He almost smirks, and you want to wipe it off his face. His subtle cocky attitude makes you uncomfortably horny.

“Seeing as your body temperature is rising again and you’re blinking a lot. And also how your brain is releasing plenty of dopamine and also your nipples are poking through your shirt. You must have enjoyed a part of it.” He’s leaning closer, blocking you from running.

“Tell me Y/n. Do you want to test if this body can meet your expectations? Would you like a test drive?” Baekhyun’s mouth is by your ear, his breath fanning the side of your face.

You can barely respond with a nod, not trusting your voice.

“I need words, I need your verbal permission. I will not hold back If you agree Y/n.” The way he says your name, your kitty is dripping already.

“Yes, Baekhyun. Please take me.” You gain a small amount of confidence from his want. His desire. Your hands grips his toned arms.“I want you.” You whisper.

Baekhyun picks you up with inhuman strength and carries you to your room. He tosses you on the bed.

“I would ask how you like it, but telling by your arousal at me throwing you on the bed I’d conclude you enjoy it rough.”

His words shoot right to your kitty. Fuck, how could this robot possess so much sex appeal right now? Looking like that should be a punishable crime.

You’re also curious, as to how he will perform. Will he be inhumanly perfect? Will he be careful? They are questions begging to be answered.

“What are you thinking of at a time like this? You’re zoning out.” Baekhyun straddles you on the bed, his hands running up your sides to take hold of your hands. He pins them above you, glaring down at you.

“Keep your mind only on what’s happening in this room.”

“I was thinking about you.” You bite your lip as you shamefully admit your dirty thoughts.

“Were you?” His eyes travel down to your lips, he licks his own.

“I was thinking of how you would be..in bed.”

“Is that so? Why don’t I just demonstrate.” Baekhyun dips his head to catch your lips with his. His lips taste like cherry, how could this be? His hand comes to the side of your face to caress your cheek. He’s gentle.

“Go ahead then.” You gain confidence at his desire, once more.

“Yes, Y/n.” He breaks away to let a smirk play on his lips. He starts with your nightgown, taking off the lacy slip. He kisses your shoulders and over your collarbones. His hand travels to your waist, holding you. You breathe calmly, the nervousness melting away with each kiss set by Baekhyun.

“Your heart rate has calmed but your body temperature is rising. How adorable.” He pushes your panties down teasingly, not taking them off. You roll your eyes, pushing him by his shoulder. For an artificial man he posses enough charisma and sex appeal to charm you out of your panties yourself.

He lets the band of your panties smack against your skin. You whine and pout, furrowing your brows at him. Baekhyun puts his hand over your clothed kitty, letting a single finger push down and sink between your folds. He rubs your clit gently, barely stimulating you but revving your engine nonetheless. You grab onto his wrist, asking him to rub you harder.

“Stop teasing.” You whine at his dainty touch, wanting to be petted way heavier than what he’s giving. Baekhyun laughs at your desperate attempts. He gives in and presses harder on your clit, rubbing in circles. You moan quietly, biting your lip quickly after.

Baekhyun’s brows furrow at the sound of your moans, his ears have never heard such a sound before. He rubs your clit harder to hear the song once more. You hold out trying not to embarrass yourself but it slips out when Baekhyun licks up your neck.

“Your moans are so adorable, Y/n.” You feel his voice vibrate through his chest.

Baekhyun slips his hand into your panties, touching your bare clit, his fingers become sticky and damp. The sounds coming from between your thighs fill the room, along with your heavy breathing. Baekhyun seems to be the only one unaffected.

“How can you not be out of breath?” You ask, turning your head to face him.

Baekhyun grins at the layer of sweat over your body. “Oh, Sweetheart. I am very much affected.” He takes your hand and places it over his chest, his hearts beating fast. “You caused this.”

He catches your lips in his and your hand sneaks up to the side of his face. His finger dipping into your hole surprising you, you jolt and let out a surprised squeak.

“The noises you make, I could listen to them all day.” Baekhyun confesses, he sits up, positioning you to lay on your stomach.

You lay obediently, becoming anxious for his touch. His thighs are on either side of your ass, his hand lands on the small of your back. His fingers walk up your spine to your shoulders, then down to the small of your back.

“Baekhyun stop playing, grab my ass.” You whine, arching your back for him even further.

Baekhyun erupts with laughter, “You’re so impatient.” He smacks your ass before grabbing it and soothing the sting. He slides off your panties tossing them on the floor. He has full access to your pussy. He dips his fingers between your thighs, rubbing you from behind. It feels as if the sensation feels more intense in this position.

You moan softly, earning a grunt from Baekhyun. You turn your head to see his face. He’s already looking at you. His dark eyes are penetrating yours. You feel as if you can’t hold out anymore.

“Baekhyun, please fuck me.”

Baekhyun undresses in an instant, you didn’t have to tell him twice. He’s positioning himself up to your pussy and slowly slides in. You almost cry out from the stretch. His length is perfect but he’s thicker than anyone you’ve ever had. He bottoms out, resting his hand on your hip. He slides out and thrusts forward slowly, letting out a low moan in your ear. His chest touches your back. Your breathing is uneven and your heart is beating fast. You could feel every inch of Baekhyun, his delicious cock buried inside of you. Baekhyun wraps and arm around your neck, holding you to him. He starts thrusting quickly, you squeeze your eyes shut at the pleasure.

Your climax begins to build, the knot in your stomach unraveling slowly. You reach down to rub your clit but Baekhyun slaps your hand away, rubbing it himself. You almost feel sensitive at the way he’s rubbing it and you jerk away from his touch.

“Baekhyun i’m about to cum!” You whine loudly, biting down on his arm. The slapping noises emitting from you both fill the room and the bed creaks quietly. The air is filled with sex and the smell of sweat.

Baekhyun furrows his brows as he speeds uo his thrusts. Your body is buried in the mattress, your hip burning from his grip on it. You feel as if any second you will—

“Ah~” Your feet dig into Baekhyun’s lower back, pressing him further into you. Your greedy kitty contracts around his length as Baekhyun tries to reach his own climax. Is it possible for an AI to ejaculate? You find out soon when Baekhyun lets out an animalistic grunt and your back is covered in a sticky wet goodness. Your feet drop back into the bed, fatigue plaguing you as your head rests on Baekhyun’s arm under you. You can feel his heavy breathing evening out as he rolls off of you.

“Well?” He breathes out, looking over at you.

You look up at him with droopy eyes. “Well what?”

“How was my performance, did I meet your expectations?” His toothy smile melts your heart once more. You place a hand on his chest, curling up by his side.

“You were amazing, I didn’t think I would cum so hard by an AI.” You tease poking your tongue out at Baekhyun. He spanks your ass and you giggle.

“This AI can do more than make you cum more than once, Sweetheart.”

[datawyrms]

That’s Robophobic!

Is K1-B0 really too sensitive about being a robot, a far too long rambling thing digging through every bit of dialogue he has.

short answer: no. long answer: HOLD ON FOLKS I’N SERIOUS ABOUT EVERY BIT OF TEXT as i’m bored and i’m going to spit ideas about my Favourite good robot at you all day. It’s entire prologue and first chapter I am serious this thing is huge and way too many words.  Also spoilers everywhere so uh. Don’t...look at this if you haven’t finished V3ok.

Prologue 

Keebo doesn’t talk or do anything in this bit! He’s just there. Up front for the splash and then hiding in the back afterwards. Officially according to the art book he is in fact a robot at this point in time as well. He’s just covered up and apparently doesn’t have to have those lines on his face or the ear-analogues he’s got most of the game. The More You Know. (not that this should stop anyone from havin fun in fan work. do what makes you happy!) I mostly point it out as Being A Robot is a massive part of Keebo’s character, so the fact he’s always one isn’t really that surprising. We’ll get into that more when he actually...has lines... oh and the mild theory of Monodam basically being Keebo’s Bear Equivalent, they have similar plot beats/character progression though the Monokubs are shaky in general so :v MOVING ON

Ultimate Revival

aka we meet Keebo and Kokichi ‘properly’ for the first time. The pair should generally be the 6/7th students protag bumps into. (me replaying and going ‘lol Tsumugi makes herself the first not Shuichi person Kaede should canonically meet by the placements’) Get used to Kokichi, a massive amount of Keebo’s dialogue is with, in response of, or directed at him, and this introduction is a testament to that. You meet them mid interaction!

Kokichi- Heeey! Wait for meee!

That boy in white is chasing that other boy in the funny clothes... What's happening here?   

Great opening robot. You spend most of the time lonely but the first we see of you is running away from someone. (It’s an interesting difference to how he reacts to Kaede/Shuichi in their first FTEs.) That, and apparently Kaede doesn’t peg Keebo as a robot here. Shuichi says he’s ‘chasing somebody’, so he might have noticed.

Kokichi: C’mooon! Wait up! Lemme touch your body a little! I've always wanted to be friends with a robot! Kaede: What? A robot!? K1-B0: ...What is it? Are you another robophobe?  I have a recording function. If you make any robophobic remarks, I will see you in court. 

keebs you don’t have the money to take anything to court but we’ll let you keep that delusion ok. and you’re probably legally counted as property In fairness, the robot lad is not making the best first impression! Kokichi is kinda childish by just assuming he should get to touch the robot, but he is genuinely interested at this point. It’s easy to read this as Keebo being too touchy. He’s sensitive about that being a robot is the ONLY thing you care about. So Kokichi wanting to be friends with a robot and being grabby...well there he goes getting defensive. (and it turns out he probably has reasons to not like grabby hands. kaede)

Kaede:  Wait...you're a robot!? Are you, for reals, a robot!?  Shuichi:  A-Are you...one of the Monokubs—   K1-B0:  Do not compare me to those toys! I am not just any old robot! 

Keebo is completely justified here, visually he isn’t even close to a Monokub or an Exisal, and lacks a split two tone theme. Would you want to be compared to a Monokub? No. No you would not. He’s also showing at bit of that pride here, calling them ‘toys’, though they do seem as capable as thinking as he is. (keebo is also a robophobe oh no.)

Oh look it’s the reason you have SO MANY NAMES. Some people prefer the ‘Kiibo’ shortening, but all the screenshots are going to say Keebo so we’re gonna be consistent. We are never going to see another character refer to him as K1-B0, but everything interface wise will call him this. We might not think you’re a person, but we’ll use your preferred name no problem. probably because k1-b0 is a mouthful

Kaede:  A robot and...supreme leader? Neither of them make any sense. Kokichi: By the way, I learned the hard way that a robot's breath smells like gasoline. K1-B0: My breath does not smell like gasoline! I am powered by electricity! Kokichi: Nee—heehee...I'm just kidding. K1-B0: ...You're not funny. Kokichi:   Of course you don't think I'm funny. Robots can't understand human humor to begin with! K1-B0:  D-Don't mock me! I have studied the complete history of stand-up comedy! 

Things we learn: These two are weird. That, and Keebo is kind of terrible at interacting with people. He takes the lie/joke at face value, hesitates when corrected that it is a joke (But doesn’t go saying ROBOPHOBIA this time). and each time he’s responding he’s trying to prove something. The little stammer seems like Keebo knows he’s bad at it but darn it he’s going to tell you about the things he can do. Like study stand-up comedy. (Poorly)

Kaede: I think you should've just watched stand-up comedy instead of studying it...   K1-B0: Plus, I may have the appearance of a robot, but I am a high school student just like you Shuichi: You're a high school student? K1-B0: I was created by Professor Idabashi, the leading authority in the field of robotics...  He installed in me a "strong AI," capable of learning and maturing like a human brain. That's why, at the time of my creation, I didn't know anything. I was like a baby...  But the professor raised me like I was his own child. He taught me so many things... Until finally, he enrolled me in high school. And now I stand here before you all! See? I’m just like everyone else! Kokichi: Hey, do robots have dicks? K1-B0: Please do not ask ridiculous questions! Kokichi: Nee-heehee... I only asked because your backstory is pretty flaccid for a robot. Kaede: Well, I can see how being a robot might be enough to be called the Ultimate Robot...

Keebs loves talking about himself, this like the longest intro block of text. Then the justification to why Keebo is Pretty Garbage at fitting in! He speaks rather formally and uses contractions less often than he could and spends a lot of time clarifying things you could probably assume. His entire life up to this point he’s basically been home schooled by a leading robotics expert from scratch, and we don’t even know for how long. He doesn’t mention any other people, and even via FTEs and Salmon mode he never refers to having any other close relations or friends. (This isn’t uncommon for most of the cast there isn’t a ton of FTE time to bring up things that don’t matter, but they’ll usually MENTION other people/activities that you could reasonably assume would involve others.)  He says he was raised ‘like his own child’ but Keebo might have zero actual context to what a family relationship looks like! Kaede’s mental crack nudges at this, maybe our robot friend ‘knows’ what something is, but has he actually experienced it? Is he just assuming his experience is ‘close enough’ to whatever he was taught? We don’t know! For all we know Keebo has only been operational for like three years. He’s incredibly aware he’s a robot, he doesn’t use words like born and always clarifies he was like a baby or a child, but not literally so. So constantly being reminded like he doesn’t already know that might be annoying for him. Really he’s asking for respect and to be treated like an equal...but he’s expressing it by saying he’s the same as everyone.  Also: We’re just meeting him and we’ve already got two people going ‘this is a disappointing robot’. Kaede doesn’t even think he’s much of an Ultimate right now, and we all know Kokichi’s thoughts :v This trend will continue.

Kaede: Hey... Everything he's said so far has sounded like a lie, so that's gotta be a lie too, right? K1-B0: Just leave him alone. Everything he has been saying has been a lie. ...He's a far more suspicious person than I am, that's for sure. Kokichi: Well, of course you're not a suspicious person, because robots aren't people, silly. K1-B0: Grgh...! Kokichi: Oh, you mad? Are you gonna hit me with a rocket punch? K1-B0: I don't have that function! Kokichi: Aw maaan, you’re boring.

Keebo will use ‘person’ to describe himself! Never human. It’s likely the main conflict he’s having is having a different definition for ‘personhood’ than most of his fellow classmates. If you’re into marine life, you might know about how dolphins and whales seem intelligent enough that considering them ‘non human persons’ was/is bandied about sometimes, and the whole issue with that is well, we’re humans. Everything we judge is going to related to the human experience. (National Geographic had a neat article on the topic in 2015 I think?) Keebo is not coming from that experience. He knows he can think and feel like all the others, so of course if he needs a word, it’s ‘person’. Note how he doesn’t actually argue back when Kokichi says he isn’t one. They’re both ‘right’ in a sense, even if Keebo clearly doesn’t like it.

K1-B0:  I may have the appearance of a robot, but I am a high school student just like you. From one high school student to another, I hope we can all get along! Kokichi: Who creates a robot without a rocket punch? Why do you even exist?

Yes, even in post conversation dialogue Kokichi comes along for the ride. Here Keebo goes trying to use ‘high school student’ as a describer instead of person since he is undeniably a student. The fact he flips from being proud of what he is to downplaying the fact he’s a robot is pretty interesting and the first look at the difficulty he’s going to be having. Fitting in=Respect.  While Kokichi is digging for more info, but Keebo doesn’t elaborate or react to the repeated rocket punch reference :v Shuichi and Kaede only comment on Kokichi in the post dialogue, so nothing to add from them.

Then we get to the gym. Kaede chastises Himiko for being lazy and then Keebo decides to add his thoughts. With an apology. This boy can’t decide if he has all the confidence or none of it.

K1-B0: Pardon me, but...we need to be on our guard. We do not know if and when danger will strike. Kokichi: D-don’t say that... I’m so scared... I don’t know what to do... Angie: There is no need to worry. Atua will protect us. Kokichi: Phew! That’s a relief!

oh look a Keebo line immediately followed by a Kokichi one i wonder if this will be a trend. Kokichi points out that Keebo phrased ‘uh we might be in danger’ rather poorly with his little emotion flip flop. We know that Keebo means it in the best way possible, he wants the best for everyone, but it’s unnecessary. Yes, nothing has happened, but they all know they’ve been kidnapped by weird colourful bears. Are you restating for the audience at home Keebs? (...he could be. Inner voice is a fun can of worms. we’ll get to that.) He doesn’t speak again until the killing game is announced.

Tenko: W—Wait a second. What did you say? K1-B0: I-If I heard him correctly— Monodam: KILLING-GAME

There he goes taking someone completely literally. Then not even getting to finish his sentence because Monodam cuts him off. The Monokubs do their jabroni throwdown thing annnnd Tsumugi: In a situation like this, is he just going to watch!? K1-B0: Either way, it's too dangerous! We need to get out of here or else—  Monokuma: Now, now, now... Kaede: What? Monokuma: My cute little cubs... You gotta knock off this awful fighting...

Cutting off other robots is apparently a family trait, because Monokuma does it here too! The fact Keebo is instantly suggesting running also shows he’s not really the aggressive sort. When you see his profile image in the Monopad you might think he’d be a scary sort of fighter bot. Buuuutnope. The Monobear gang do their chattering/properly introduce Monokuma

Maki: Headmaster? K1-B0: It appears to be some sort of autonomous robot with a built-in A.l., like me... Monotaro: Dong dong dong! The Exisals are different, though! They're brainless buckets of bolts!

He does recognize Monokuma/kubs as similar to himself here instead of continuing on with the current question of ‘how is this thing a headmaster of anything’. Keebo would probably be the expert on this, but no one asked. Time and place for information is also something Keebo is terrible at :v Monokuma: It's just...when I said it before, I kinda just phoned it in and now I feel awkward... I want you students with your Ultimate-level talents to participate in a killing game. Kaede: K-Killing game? Us? K1-B0: Please stop joking! Why would we agree to participate in a killing game!? Monokuma: Huh? You guys don't wanna do it?  

‘Maybe he’s joking like Kokichi was earlier!’ Sorry robot friend, Monokuma is not joking. Keebs cares about death, even if reasonably he could be as ‘replaceable’ as Monokuma (Though we sort of know he isn’t based on Tsumugi’s mentioning that she’s glad he ‘made it to the end’.)  Keebo doesn’t comment again after this

He is the second to show up after Kaede in the into though! Considering he is a ‘protagonist’ (for the ‘real world’) that’s not too surprising, while Shuichi is hiding in the 5th spot, after Rantaro.

Chapter 1

ohboy here we go. With the entire cast alive, Keebs is very much a background character. What’s his first line as everyone is learning the rules of the killing game?

Tsumugi: But...we looked all over that wall and there wasn't a single hole. K1-B0:  Now wait just a second. If there's no opening in the wall... Then how did we get inside these walls in the first place? Tsumugi:  ...Oh, good point.

Correcting Tsumugi. No horrified reactions or anything, but oh That Isn’t Logical I Will Correct You. Especially in group settings, Keebo generally sticks to factual statements, unless he’s being goaded. Once again, he has nothing else to say after this! But before you have Gonta open the manhole cover, Keebo shows up in Kokichi’s dialogue if you talk to him.  aka this is optional content.

Kokichi: Whoa, look at all these weeds. This place could definitely use a groundskeeper. Right, Kee—boy!? K1-B0: Why are you telling me that? Furthermore... I would prefer you address me as "Keebo." Kokichi: But you can pull weeds. Right, Kee-boy? K1-B0:  I can do all sorts of things just as well as any person! Kokichi: As well as any person...? But...you're not a person. K1-B0: Th-That's discrimination... Robophobic discrimination...

I don’t have anything to say, time to hassle the robot is a pretty common tactic for Kokichi. He’s also the only one to nickname Keebo a second time. No one else will be calling him Keeboy. It’s curious how he pulls Keebo into this conversation, and how Keebo doesn’t really seem to know how to react to it and just tries to correct Kokichi about his name. We can add our second example of him actually going ‘robophobia’ to the list though :v He seems a bit offended that he’s being underestimated/having the suggestion floated that he can only pull weeds and basically does a low key brag about his abilities ‘all sorts of things’. In fairness, ‘as well as any person’ isn’t exactly a useful metric for ability. People vary a lot! Again he doesn’t deny that he ‘isn’t a person’, by going ‘robophobia’ he’s practically agreeing. If you talk to Keebo directly...

K1-B0: ...There is a monitor here, too. That aside, this is a rather remote location to install a communication device... K1-B0: ...lt's a pointless expenditure, wouldn't you agree?

He’s making observations about the area alone and trying to be useful by posing a question. That, and getting someone to agree with you is a decent tactic to becoming more friendly, and it’s a pretty easy thing to agree with... He’s not actually being useful, since we have no reason to care why Monokuma would make pointless expenditures, but he’s trying. This is also the most dialogue any single person has (Kurumi gets close, but only has one textbox to Keebo’s two.) Time to lift a manhole cover aaaannnnd

Angie: Awwww, this manhole cover looks heavy. Can we even lift it? K1-B0:  I can try. Keebo placed his hands on the manhole cover, and with all his strength he—Grgh...! Grrrrrrrrrrrrgh...! How embarrassing. It won't even budge. Angie:  Huhhh? A robot's not even strong enough to move it? K1-B0: Oh, don't worry. My physical strength is approximate to that of a strong senior citizen. Miu: Th-That's fuckin' pathetic! K1-B0: Th-The professor did not want a repeat of the tragedy that occurred during trial production. Tsumugi: Umm... Now I'm just plain curious about what happened during that trial...

Yes, the first time Miu ever interacts with Keebo, she calls him pathetic. :v His want to help overroad the common sense that he probably wouldn’t be able to lift it at all. It is also possible Kokichi’s comments made him want ho show he can do things. Even though he literally can’t do this. Tsumugi was very much me at this moment, going ‘wait explain that please’ but no one else really cares so he won’t be clarifying. The fact he just goes there was a tragedy in trial production and no one bats an eye is low key hilarious to me. He’s just so matter of fact about it. Gonta then makes the cover look like a paper plate.

Kokichi: But Gonta is sooo much more reliable than some bean—counting robot. K1-B0:  Are you...talking about me? Because I can count many things, not just beans.

His objection is that he can count lots of stuff. Not that he’s a bean-counting robot, or less useful than Gonta. Keebo is adorable, okay. Keebo doesn’t speak again after this, meaning we’re back in optional dialogue time! This is right outside the death road of despair.

Miu: You're too weak, Keebo! Lemme remodel you and I'll make you the strongest robot ever! First, I'll soup up your crotch plate by installin' a nice, thick one, just how I like it! Hah-hahaha!

Miu is Miu. Keebo doesn’t respond to this! It is fun to see Miu’s already excited that there’s a robot around that isn’t evil to tinker with, but we don’t know how he feels about it for the moment. Her lab isn’t even open yet and she STILL is talking about remodling new robot pal :v (and yes i am putting down dialogue that relates to Keebo even if he doesn’t react/isn’t present for it. Knowing what the other characters think of him is important too.)

K1-B0: ...It's quite dusty in here. Prolonged exposure to this polluted air may be detrimental to one's health. Angie: Whaaat? Polluted air bothers you? But you don't even breathe air, right? K1-B0: W—Well, that is... While it's true that I do not breathe, I also do not like polluted air any more than you do. Kokichi: I see, you have a function for sensing poisonous gases! Well then, lead the way! K1-B0: N—No! I don't have that function! Do I look like a canary to you? Kokichi: Whaaat, you don't? Then you're even more useless than a canary! K1-B0: Grgh...

oh did you think he’d have a conversation without Kokichi. WRONG. Poor Keebo is already a bit flustered by being called out as different again when he was mostly just making an observation like he did upstairs. The whole not breathing thing is a pretty big difference and he’s instantly going I STILL DON’T LIKE IT, even though originally he might have just meant everyone’s health in general. Being able to sense poison gasses would probably be a helpful skill, and it’s a reasonable deduction...buuuut since he doesn’t have that it just gets to be an easy jab at him instead. The fact Keebo instantly goes for the canary comparison when as a robot he could be reasonably expected to not die because of the gasses is a bit odd, but sets him up wonderfully for a roast :v Keebo is one of the few that gets to ‘...’ at the death road failure, but doesn’t comment again until everyone is rallying themselves for another shot.

Tenko: My body is ready! You can tell by how outta control my pit sweat is! Kaede: E—Everyone! K1-B0: Isn’t it premature to say what we’ll do after we escape? Assumptions are all but useless. Kokichi: Geez, you're clueless... Why am I not surprised that a robot can't read the air? K1-B0: Robots can read the air! Thanks to innovations in pollutant-detecting technology, I— Kaito: Anyway, it doesn’t matter if Monokuma says it’s impossible! We’ll show him what we can do!

Kaito has joined the ‘people who cut off Keebo mid sentence’ club. Keebo is TERRIBLE at interacting. The question is probably genuine, logically they’re thinking too far ahead but like he’s told...now is not the time to be throwing reality in people’s faces Keebs. Or for desperately trying to prove yourself as able to read the air by completely misunderstanding what Kokichi is saying. he’s such a little disaster. i adore this silly robot. Once Kokichi calls Kaede out for ‘torturing’ everyone, K1-B0: Given the circumstance...the most logical course of action would be to give up...

No mentions of how he’s feeling. Just logic and trying to relate it to facts. I assume he expects feelings to be ignored so he sticks to facts for that reason...but that’s just my reading. He does it again when Rantaro speaks up.

Rantaro: Hey, guys? Just...as a warning...We shouldn’t let our guards down. We’ll be easy targets at night. Gonta: C-Cuz of killing game, you mean? K1-B0: I see no need to worry about something as illogical as murder taking place here. Rantaro: I know, I know. Just a warning.

Even though he says there’s no need to worry, he’s absolutely sporting a worried sprite. Yet he goes for saying it’s illogical for murder to be taking place. He can’t see any way doing such a thing would be justified at the moment, and you can see Keebo is a bit of a stickler for things ‘making logical sense’. When he’s not just taking the advice of a voice in his head anyway. We don’t hear from him again until the next morning in the dining hall.

Korekiyo: Now...all of us have arrived.  Kehehe...I'm glad. It looks as though there were no victims. K1-B0: But of course! Kokichi: By the way...are you okay, Kaede? Kaede: Huh? What do you mean? Kokichi: Well...you looked pretty bummed out after everyone started blaming you yesterday. Tsumugi: H-Hey... What are you doing all of— Kokichi: Seriously, you guys are so mean. Poor girl... She tried her best to encourage everyone, and you sore losers got mad at her anyway. K1-B0: What's the point of bringing that up again? Tenko: Actually...didn’t *you* blame Kaede first?

Oh look, Keebo’s being positive. Since everyone lived and he can confidently say that now. He’s also showing that Understanding Kokichi For Dummies was not in his hard drive, but he is trying to figure him out a little. Why did you bring it up? They don’t know, because Tenko gives him an easy out here. Not that he was likely going to answer anyway, but hey! A direct question! Which he follows up on after the rest of the class squabbles about it here..

Kokichi: Phew, cool beans! Now everything’s settled! K1-B0: ...But you did blame her first, didn't you? Kokichi: Well, that was a lie. Y'know, one of those lies to make us more united or whatever. Did you know half my lies are actually told with good intentions? Himiko: Now *that* sounds like a lie.

Kokichi actually answers! Genuinely, no less, even though he’s already got his lying reputation by this point. Kokichi is surprisingly up front with Keebo a decent chunk of the time, even if most of the time it’s just His Opinion On The Robot. Maybe he knows no one’s gonna take anything he says to Keebo very seriously now that he’s laid out the constant mockery groundwork. and then monokuma shows up

Maki: ...Motivation to kill? Monokuma: In short, a motive! That oughta add some mystery to the proceedings! Even if a killer is exposed, they could whip up a sob story to deceive everyone! K1-B0: Wh-What are you saying? Your logic is impossible to understand...! Monokuma: I will now announce the first motive! Make sure  you record this moment for prosperity! Now then, the special motive I’ve prepared is called the First Blood Perk!  Wow! For the first murder that occurs, no class trial will be held! Can you believe it? That means the first one to kill someone will get to graduate, no strings attached! Maki: No class trial will be held? Monokuma: I'm sorry that I made the class trial seem more important than it really is... So for the first murder, I've decided not to hold a class trial at all. Please just relax, calm down and kill! After all, the first one’s free! Miu: Huh? That's all!? We just gotta kill someone to get outta here!? K1-B0: "That's all"!? What's that supposed to mean!? Please just calm down! Tenko: First Blood Perk!? Don't make it sound like some kind of game show bonus!

Keebo is super anti-murder, though it’s sort of funny how his plea to Miu is very close to Monkuma’s own wording to ‘just calm down’. He doesn’t understand why you’d want to kill someone or make someone kill another, and seems genuinely surprised someone would do it based on how he reacts to Miu here. Leaving is not a justifiable reason to murder for Keebo, and we get that fact pretty fast. Then he just watches until Kaito gets himself in trouble by threatening Monokuma.

Monosuke: Youse bastards better pay attention! This is what happens when you mess with us! Kaito: Wh...what? What are you guys planning to do? K1-B0: P-Please, don't! Kaede: Run, Kaito!

More pleading to reconsider, because watching people die is Not Fun. Asking the Monokubs to not do something over encouraging Kaito is a bit notable though, no one really tries to reason with them. Keebo might not like them, or like being compared to them, but still seems to think they might be able to be reasoned with. They are AIs like him after all...and he doesn’t remark on anything after Monotaro messes up and crushes Monokuma either. I wonder if watching Monokuma die bothered him at all. (I think it might have, on the walk to the library Shuichi takes Kaede on, Keebo is one of the few characters that isn’t around to talk to.) You don’t see him again until the next morning where he’s hanging out near the main entrance.

K1-B0: Good morning, Kaede. Kaede: Morning, Keebo. K1-B0: Everyone appears to have gathered at the dining hall again. Kaede: Yup, looks like it. K1-B0: I'm thinking about heading over there as well, but... ... Kaede: But? K1-B0: Oh, nothing. I was just wondering...when someone is going to come rescue us. It's been almost a full day since Monokuma was dispatched, but our situation hasn't changed. I'm just speculating, but what if... ...only Monokuma knew about this place? What if this location is not on any map? What if...no one is coming to rescue us? Kaede: Huh? K1-B0: Maybe...we'll just be forgotten, and no one will ever find us again... Kaede: D-Don’t say that! Besides, we should be trying to escape, not waiting for someone to rescue us! K1-B0: Y-Yes...I apologize. I was overthinking things. It would be impossible to discreetly construct a facility such as this in the first place. Plus, if the professor knew I was missing, he would not rest until he found me. With his technology, he would rescue us! No matter where on earth this place is! Kaede: Yeah... K1-B0: On the other hand...it *has* only been one day. As much as we'd love to go home right now, we must wait in a calm, dignified manner! (you need to talk to him a second time to get this line)   

This poor boy has thought himself into a tizzy and is looking to Kaede for some of that positive thinking that he’s not super great at. He goes from ‘good morning’ to ‘oh it’s nothing but I’m worried we’ll never be found :v’ in two seconds flat. Keebo DOESN’T SLEEP. He’s probably been overthinking all night! He has no trouble finding reasons to not worry once Kaede shakes him out of it, and once again shows us he thinks a great deal about the professor who made him. Look at him going all ‘we must wait calmly’ like it wasn’t just him having a miniature breakdown there. Keebs is fond of ‘we’. Not a shock, since Fitting In and being part of the group is kinda big deal for him. At breakfast he’s taken the whole ‘don’t worry’ thing to heart.

Gonta: But...when someone coming to get us? K1-B0: Whoever does...I assume they will come today. There's no need to worry. Rantaro: ...

he’s probably a bit over positive in thinking they’ll be rescued in a single day after Monokuma’s demise though. Logically they’re going to be saved, therefore it should be quick. Keebo kinda runs down bad logic paths like this to extremes instead of staying a middle ground. there’s levels between we’re all gonna be stuck forever and rescue today keebo.

Monokuma: After dying in a tragic car accident, I've been reborn as a Yo-Kai! Call me Jibakuma, kuma! K1-B0: Jibakuma...? Monokuma: From now on, I'm the headmaster of the Ultimate Academy, kuma! You might feel uncomfortable at first, but eventually you'll get used to it. 

Keebo’s the only one to even sort of play along. Considering he has everyone call him something other that his name, I can see him continuing to use ‘Jibakuma’ if Monokuma had kept up the bit for more than ten seconds :v audience stand in keebs always on standby if a bit is falling flat for the other participants. Next motive gets given, Kubs do their shitk with the one of a kind thing and Kaede: Of course! We never left! K1-B0: Why are you doing this!? How much suffering do you want to put us through!? Monokuma: I see... Well, if you're suffering, you all better hurry up and start the killing game. Puhuhu... then you can say bye-bye to the suffering.

monokuma is directly answering the audience at this point I swear. Keebs does do a decent amount of the ‘obvious protag questions’...it is kinda his job. It’s interesting in hindsight. Bears leave, panic happens.

Kaito: W-We can’t panic about something like this. I’ll...do something about it. K1-B0: ...Did you have a course of action in mind? Kaito: I'm...gonna start thinking of one right now!

Kaito is so salty about Keebo pointing out he has no actual plan that he doesn’t invite him to the ‘fight Monokuma’ meeting on the final day. (or doesn’t trust a robot/think he’d help after the manhole debacle.) Keebs, once again bringing down the mood with reality/ genuine questions he doesn’t think through very well. (And honestly Kaito’s whole believing in people thing is inherently illogical, so they don’t really see eye to eye...) They then discuss fighting back.

Ryoma: You're going to go against those machines barehanded? Isn't that too reckless? Tenko: B-But...we have to do it! If we don't, we'll die! K1-B0: Wait! We still have plenty of time to calculate all possible options— Korekiyo: We’ve no time to be indecisive. We are being urged to make a decision... To die fighting... Or die from the time limit.

That’s four members of the cut Keebo off club. :v Keebo might react in the moment, but when it comes to making a plan? Yeah he’d rather take the time to think over everything, but apparently that’s not an option here so he gets trampled over.

Kaede: Miu! You better not do anything shady, okay!? K1-B0: There is no need to worry, is there? No one is going to...kill anyone, right? Himiko: If someone is going to kill, they should just go for the robot. K1-B0: That's even worse!

It really isn’t Keebo’s day. Korekiyo goes right into talking about ‘why does everyone think killing is wrong’ here, no one goes ‘hey maybe don’t threaten the robot’. Poor guy hesitates to even say kill and then gets told he should die first and no one stands up for him. being keebo is suffering. People start leaving and Rantaro starts being Mysterious

Kaede: Ultimate Hunt? What is that...? I've never heard of it. K1-B0: What about it?  Rantaro: ...Nothing, forget it.

Curious robot is curious. That and is doing the whole protag thing again by following on weird unanswered questions, not that it goes anywhere this time. When you talk to him after Rantaro leaves, he’s still thinking about it.

K1-B0: That Ultimate Hunt Rantaro mentioned...what do you suppose it is? ...Any theories, Kaede? Kaede: I don't know... It's the first time I've heard of it... K1-B0: It sounds so...violent. It sounds like it involves us somehow...No, disregard that. Nobody has any clue what it could mean, so it is illogical to continue thinking about it. Our more pressing concern...is the current predicament we find ourselves in. Kaede: Yeah, you're right... K1-B0: We have until nighttime, two days from now... What should we do until then? (once again you need to talk to him a second time for this line.)

He’s pretty much on the right track, but dismisses it before he can drop into that overthinking spiral he was doing earlier in the day, and decides to refocus on the current problem, probably trying to be helpful again. Yet again, reason why is ‘it’s illogical’ to keep worrying about it. Of course, he doesn’t actually have any ideas here. Logic can only take you so far Keebs. He has nothing else to contribute until Free Time. If you chat to him in the first time slot...

K1-B0: A killing game... Why are we being forced to do such a thing? I cannot believe we're being subjected to this purely for the entertainment value!

Keebo has apparently found the script and read chapter six. oknotreally, he’s clearly basing this off the fact it’s called a game and Monokuma basically answered his ‘why are you doing this’ with ‘lolcuzican’, and can’t accept this as a valid reason. Yet he’s not gonna get another one! In time slot two he’s hanging out at the gym

K1-B0: I'm tired of everyone's prejudices! Yes, I'm a robot. But I'm also a high school student like everyone else, you know!?

Himiko literally said kill him first, I think he’s allowed to be a bit miffed about being treated differently. He’s still not arguing that he’s not different, but wants to be treated the same way the others are in ways they can be. sadly for Keebs he is this game’s easy target and he will not be getting a break ever and he needs a hug. Instead we’re going to make a mockery of him again when Shuichi recruits Kaede for operation ‘Get Miu to Make Stuff For Us’ as go near the Casino area.

Kaede: Morning Keebo. K1-B0: Ah, good morning. Your timing is impeccable. I have something I wish to ask you both. Shuichi: Huh? What is it, Keebo? K1-B0: What are your thoughts on this door? No matter how hard I try, it will not open... Kaede: Um, well...it doesn't seem like an exit... K1-B0: What do you think is on the other side of this wall? Kokichi: Why don’t you fly over and see for yourself? K1-B0: Whoa—!? Shuichi: K-Kokichi!? Kokichi: C’mon! I wanna see you fly! Robots have jet packs or whatever under their feet, right? K1-B0: ... Kokichi: Whaaat? You...don’t...? K1-B0: ...No, I don't. Kokichi: ...Have a dick? K1-B0: Wh-What are you talking about!? Kokichi: Oh yeah! If you had a jet pack... then you could've flown over the wall and called for help! K1-B0: ... Kokichi: Geeeez! You're just a huge disappointment, Keebo! K1-B0: ... Kaede: K-Keebo? K1-B0: ...I’m fine. Please just let it be. I...don't like sci-fi functions like flight. Kaede: But aren't you already pretty sci-fi? K1-B0: ... Kaede: Um...it might be better to leave them alone... 

Oh look a big semi important conversation. Keebo’s just asking questions again, he seems to put a lot of importance on what other people think over what he personally does. (he listens to a voice in his head that he knows isn’t himself. listening to other people first is probably preprogramed into him so he’s more malleable >> You can also take it as having a lot of doubts about himself.) Of course, neither Kaede or Shuichi can have any more idea than he does about the wall and what’s beyond it, but he’s asking anyway! Then Kokichi shows up and completely redirects the conversation to Keebo’s abilities again. And robot just can’t follow this! He knows he’s going to disappoint Kokichi ability wise again and clams up instead of stating yes or no clearly here, it takes a second nudge to get an answer. Honestly it reads like he feels bad that the reason he can’t fly is because of something he personally doesn’t like, so he’s unable to help again. He just assures Kaede he’s fine and then clams up again. He’s probably not fine! Like Kaede thinks, Keebo is..pretty sci-fi on his own, but he’s not elaborating on why he doesn’t like that sort of thing. It makes him stand out too much, it makes him less ‘like everyone else’ is probably a safe bet though. And all of this is completely missable dialogue :v In free time slot three he’s in the B classroom alone.

K1-B0: ...Tsumugi just asked me if I can perform a "rocket punch." Why does everyone automatically assume that robots have a rocket punch function!? I don't have a violent function like that! 

it’s a common robot trope, but keebo doesn’t know this, apparently. But hey, bonus reafirrming that Keebo would consider rocket punching violent, and probably doesn’t have any other similar features. Nor does he want any. (For now.) In time slot 4, the final one...

K1-B0: ...At this rate, the time limit will expire before we know it. We must take action somehow... 

He’s worried again! That, and still using ‘we’. Killing someone and only looking out for himself isn’t an option here. He does have good reason to be worried though, if you swing on by to talk to Himiko at this time... Himiko: The time limit is tomorrow night... Maybe...we should kill the robot? Kaede: That's just a joke...right? 

seriously himiko you’re a jerk. I get it, you’re magic and he’s all science and wouldn’t buy a magic trick for a second but you have seen him around for a few days now and are just calling him ‘the robot’ and saying someone should kill him!  For the second time! At least he’s not in the room this time but come on! Himiko clearly has a division between human life and Keebo’s life, and she’s going to stay that way, Which, fair enough, a human can value human life over other forms of life (and guess what we usually do) but...he’s literally sitting and talking with you guys and in the exact same boat. He’s closer to human than a lot of things... After this free time we don’t see him at all until it’s corpse time. So I’ll throw down his Kaede FTEs now. With all the options. As I’m nuts.

K1-B0: If you have come to talk to me...that can only mean you are interested in me, right Kaede? I certainly do not mind. After all, I am the Ultimate Robot. Naturally, I will attract interest. Kaede: Yeah, I've never talked to such a human-like robot before... Well, any robot, really. Hey, if you don't mind... Can I ask you a question? K1-B0: By all means, ask me anything. Oh, but I cannot answer any questions about the technology used to create me. Kaede: Don't worry, I won't ask anything too difficult! Okay, first question...do you sleep at night? K1-B0: I have no need for sleep. However, it is necessary to recharge my power cells. Kaede: Oh, so you recharge! K1-B0: Yes, but I am still conscious while I recharge, so it's not quite the same as human sleep...A single charge generates a week's worth of power, so I don't need to do it very often. Kaede: Ooh, for one week, I see... I always assumed robots needed a lot of electricity. K1-B0: That's what's so incredible about me! My energy efficiency is truly incomparable! Kaede: Hmmm... K1-B0: ...That's it? Kaede: Huh? Was he expecting me to be more excited? To be honest, it's not *that* amazing... May I ask you another question, then? K1-B0: Yes, go ahead... Kaede: Do you eat? K1-B0: ...No... Kaede: Huh? He looks pretty down... Sorry, did I say something wrong? K1-B0: No, I'm sorry too...Though I cannot eat, food still looks delicious to me. The unfairness of it all pains me... Kaede: Yeah, that seems pretty rough. Do you like girls? K1-B0: ...Huh? Kaede: Are you attracted to human girls? Or do you prefer female robots? K1-B0: Are you suggesting...that robots should stick with their own kind? Kaede: I didn't mean it like that! I was just curious! Honest! K1-B0: Then...are you saying...that you...and me...? Kaede: Th-That's not it, either! K1-B0: ...Of course. I apologize for being overly self-conscious. I have never felt romantic attraction, so I cannot answer questions on that subject. Kaede: How do you feel about the Roomba? K1-B0: You mean...the disc-shaped cleaning robot that scoots along the floor Kaede: Yeah, that! Do you see them as, like, younger siblings or something? K1-B0:  ...Kaede, it's very robophobic to suggest that robots are only good for cleaning. You should know that I am completely different from that simple machine. Kaede: But you guys are basically the same, more or less...so I was just wondering K1-B0: That does not matter. If I am comparable to a human, that thing is comparable to a microbe. Kaede: But compared to Roombas, you're losing in the popularity department. K1-B0: Why, that's—! Kaede: I'm kidding! Really! K1-B0: Krgh...! Human jokes are rather vexing...! Kaede: I continued to ask Keebo some questions... Well, that's all! Thanks for answering them, Keebo! K1-B0: Yes, of course...You're the first person to ask me so many questions, one after the other. Kaede: Oh! Was I being too forward? K1-B0: No, that's not what I meant. I just thought......being treated like that isn't so bad. It's actually...kind of fun.

hooboy that’s a lot. Robot is just looking for some validation and is not gonna get it in the ways he thinks he should! One week battery life is incredibly impressive but Kaede sure doesn’t think so, or care to know why that is. She is pretty nice though, overall. Oh and the fact Keebo has a built in company secrets thing is kinda funny. Maybe that’s why he’s garbage with computers, he can’t blab if he doesn’t know jack :v. Mostly we just reconfirm that Keebo is pretty bad at talking to people and probably hasn’t met all that many. He also takes the ‘liking girl’s question really badly and backpedals into being offended when really he just doesn’t have an answer at all. Since he doesn’t know what love is. He actually apologizes for freaking out here, so apparently getting touchy is just his default reaction. :p You can see when he actually has time to explain why he doesn’t like a thing he’ll actually do so, and seems more reasonable when he can. Of course he doesn’t like being compared to something that scoots along, doesn’t think and cleans. They’re both robots, but really not on the same level...and Keebo isn’t quite sure how he’s going to handle that. He says it’s rude to say they’re only good for cleaning...but you can kind of tell he mostly means in relation to himself/robots as intelligent as he is. So instead he just sounds weird and inconsistent...and robophobic himself considering he thinks he’s better than other robots :v Even if it is a joke...Kaede is probably right about the roombas being more popular than Keebs. Also who the heck made him think food looks good when he can’t eat. That’s just mean.

Kaede’s blurb about him for the FTE is pretty positive too, when you see Shuichi’s they’re quite different. (Though their rank one FTEs are INCREDIBLY SIMILAR. because this is how Keebo introduces himself to people. By assuming they want to know about him and flailing. aka terribly. this poor robot. he’s probably only met other people interested in robotics before now.) So we move to FTE 2, where Kaede shows she’s an impulsive little imp when she wants to be!

Kaede: I'm chatting with Keebo again today, but... K1-B0: ...Kaede, is something troubling you? Kaede: N-No! It's nothing.  To be honest, something's been bothering me, and I can't really focus on our conversation.There's a button on Keebo's neck... What does it do? It's calling out to me... I wanna push the button! *thud* K1-B0: Hm? What was that sound? Kaede: Whatever that sound was, it occurred at the exact right time...Because when Keebo turned around, his neck was completely defenseless...Oh, god! The button is like screaming, "Don't push me! Don't push me!" But I'm definitely gonna push the button! *click!* 

(great job you broke him kaede. they do a ... back and forth like five times, just stare at it for a bit.) No reaction...? Keebo!? I called his name and circled around him... K1-B0: ... Kaede: Whaaaaat!? Keebo was completely frozen! Like a toy out of batteries...M-Maybe that was the emergency stop button!? Wh-What should I do!? Maybe if I push it again, it'll fix him...? Hoping that was the case, I pressed the button again. *click!* K1-B0: ... Kaede: ... K1-B0:  Wha—!? Kaede, why are you in front of me? Weren't you behind me earlier? A-And why are you so close to me? Kaede: I-I'm so glad... You're back to normal... K1-B0: Huh? What do you mean? Kaede: U-Um...well, I noticed a button on your neck, so I pushed it K1-B0: What—!? You discovered this button!? Kaede: I-I'm so sorry! It was tempting me! Was that the emergency stop button? K1-B0: ...Yes. It's there just in case my AI or essential functions encounter problems. Kaede: I didn't know you had such a function... K1-B0: Kaede...you know my secret now... Kaede: I-If it's a secret, then you should've hid it better! K1-B0: But what good is an emergency button that cannot be easily found in an emergency? Kaede: But there are people who might push it for fun...like me... K1-B0: ...That's true. I will forward your feedback to the professor when we get out of here. Kaede: Yeah, good idea... K1-B0: But...Kaede, that means you will have influenced my design. Which means you will have played a role in my creation. Kaede: Huh? You're exaggerating. K1-B0: It's no exaggeration. If Professor Idabashi can be considered my "father"...Then you, Kaede, will be my "mother." So I shall call you mom. Kaede: M-M-Mom!? What!? K1-B0: ...That was a joke. Kaede: U-Um... K1-B0: It's payback for messing with my body. You deserve at least that much. Kaede: Ha...hahaha... I'm so sorry, Keebo. A robot making a joke... That's pretty cool. The title of Ultimate Robot really suits him. K1-B0: Um, Kaede... Do you think you can keep that button a secret from everyone? Kaede: Yeah, don't worry. Kokichi definitely can't find out about his button. That would be a huge problem...

Keebo spends a good chunk of his own FTE completely frozen up :v That, and Keebo has this collar covering nearly all of his neck and half of his face! How did you get to it? Or are you calling the collar his neck. He’s probably had to deal with literally getting his buttons pushed before, but Kaede does apologize so he seems more okay with it than he’d usually be. (Really as long as you say sorry he’s generally okay...he wants you to like him.) Also, having that button probably isn’t a ton of fun, even if it’s important. He was completely unaware of what happened and a bit disoriented because of it. Yet he still has time to defend the professor about the placement of the stop button. (As I seriously doubt he had any say in where it is, Kaede! Don’t go pushing random buttons on people!) The fact he gets back at her with an attempt at a joke this time is pretty cute, considering he just previously said jokes are difficult for him. He’s learning! That and the fact both of them instantly go ‘Kokichi must never know’ is just ‘yes, hilarious.’ He’s pretty lucky she keeps it secret and no one else finds out. As an aside, Kaede can ask Rantaro what she thinks of people, and Keebo is an option.

Rantaro: Nah, it's nothing. By the way, who's the most...unique person here, in your eyes? Kaede:  Keebo... Rantaro: Being a robot is interesting enough that his personality barely matters. But you know, I think Keebo is on our side... Kaede: What do you mean, on our side? Rantaro: Have you ever heard of the Three Laws of Robotics? The long and short of it is...robots can't harm people. If Keebo's creator was a good scientist, he would have programmed that into Keebo's AI. We're all human, so we can assume that he's on our side...Of course, I'm just guessing

He probably wouldn’t appreciate his personality not having to matter, but Rantaro basically seems to trust Keebo here. Because he’s a robot :v Unfortunately, he doesn’t trust him enough to let him in on the survivor perk thing...he probably would have lived if Keebo came along to his ill advised library search. It’s much harder to sneak up on two people with a shot putt ball. speaking of shot putt balls, time to get past the part where he dies. Since Keebs is hiding out his room, he gets summoned by the body discovery announcement.

He doesn’t get it, and understandably panics a little, and doesn’t really interact with anyone, they’re all doing their own expressions of dismay. Miu’s does come after his though. What finally gets him talking again? Being worried he won’t be much help.

Kirumi: Do not fret. Just imagine this as something out of a police drama or detective manga. Right, Shuichi? Shuichi: R-Right... K1-B0: I'm in trouble... I've never watched police dramas or read detective manga! Korekiyo: Well...there's no need to think so hard. We need only converse with the corpse... A corpse is not simply a dead person. That is just an assumption made by the living. Yes! By coming face to face with the corpse, you will learn a great many things! (yes that is it exactly.)

Really though, how long has Keebo been ‘alive’? He’s never so much as looked at entire genre even once? You had time for the entire history of stand up and didn’t look at detectives? Shuichi taking charge a little does get him a bit more positive though.

K1-B0: As novice investigators, logic dictates that we work together rather than give in to paranoia.

Teamwork makes the dream work :v He also goes ahead and does the protagonist thing again here.

Kaede: We’ll all escape from here! I’ll make sure of it! K1-B0: So, let's get started. 

He’s the first one to say ‘okay let’s do the thing.’ He’s also the first to react when Kaede says...

Kaede: The mastermind killed Rantaro... K1-B0: ...Mastermind? I’m sorry, what are we talking about?

Asking clarifying questions is Keebo’s part time job at this rate. Most of the other characters have no idea what Kaede is going on about here! This exchange is ten times funnier when you know Kaede is actually right, Tsumugi’s sprite is on screen when she says this and everything. Keebo also trusts Monophanie at her word when it comes to developing the camera film.

K1-B0: And she said she had to follow the rules, so I don’t think she’d destroy evidence. 

He doesn’t say how he thinks very often! Though in this case he’s probably speaking from experience...he’s a robot too, and might have rules he absolutely has to follow. (Such as not talking about how he was created.) Gonta is the other one who trusts her...but Gonta is kind of a sweetheart that trusts almost anyone so :v. Angie also sort of does? But really, the ones who trust are all in the ‘probably not taken seriously’ camp. He continues to be a team player during the investigation.

Kirumi: I do not intend to offer a suggestion that would further arouse suspicion, but... K1-B0: No, that's logical! Please speak your mind, Kirumi! Kaito: It's not something you should be proud to say... but I guess we don't have a choice. After all, if we don't find out who the culprit is, we'll all be killed. 

Keebs with the logic train again, with Kaito there going ‘I Do Not Like’, seeing as it’s kinda hard to believe in your friends while suspecting them. He almost seems to be chastising Keebo here, since he’s unapologetically for the ‘stick in groups’ plan. Of course robot lad knows someone is dead, someone here had to have done it, taking all precautions therefore is only being sensible. In the investigation proper he hangs out in the classroom they kept watch in with Korekiyo, since he actually listens when they say stay in groups.

K1-B0: Kaede, Shuichi! I would like to ask you two a question! You were on lookout inside this classroom, right? Kaede: Yeah. From here, we could keep an eye on the basement, and it was close to the library, too. Shuichi: That’s our alibi. We were both in this classroom when the murder occurred. K1-B0: I see... Then the probability that you two committed the crime is extremely low... By the way...were you two together the entire time? Shuichi: No...I did leave for a bit to see what was happening in the basement. But besides that, we were together the whole time, until the receiver went off. Kaede: Y-Yeah, that's right... K1-B0: ...I understand. Thank you very much. Kaede: Is that all you wanted to ask? K1-B0 Oh, may I ask you one more question? Specifically, about that vent... It appears to be connected to this classroom. The air duct in the basement hallway leads to it... Shuichi: Yes, I was also concerned about this vent... That’s why we kept watch in this classroom. Kaede: Because the culprit wouldn't be able to use this vent if we're in here on lookout. K1-B0: Under those circumstances, it would be difficult to sneak into the library from here. Shuichi: Kaede stacked up books in front of the library vent as well. With those in the way, it would be even harder for someone to go in and out. K1-B0: Really? I will be sure to save that important piece of information to my memory bank. I hope my line of questioning has not offended either of you. It is necessary, so that we may find the truth. Kaede: Keebo, you totally sounded like a detective or a lawyer just now! Oh! Maybe you were a detective or a lawyer in a past life!

Keebo does not appreciate your absolute nonsense Kaede. Even if you’re meaning it as a complement. He’s trying pretty hard, noticing the vent and asking for alibis and trying to puzzle out what happened. He is of course, pretty wrong about these two being unlikely culprits for being here since he hasn’t considered how the murder occurred, but he’s already admitted to not being good at this. He even apologizes for being rude, he’s so worried about making people not like him! Yet he still gets prickly about the robot thing, but really Kaede should we be talking about past lives when there’s a smashed avocado downstairs at this very moment?

Kaede: Hey Keebo, what were you doing and where during the body discovery announcement?  K1-B0: Ah... My alibi.  ... ... (we get his glitching out sprite here :v) Kaede: ...Um, are you glitching right now? K1-B0: No, I'm just searching for the right words. In all honesty I was alone in my room, so I admit my alibi is not altogether reliable... Kaede: So...you don't have an alibi? K1-B0: But Ryoma said he was alone in his room, too. Kaede: Geez, way to throw him under the bus K1-B0:  Huh!? Th-That was not my intention! Kaede: But I see... Both Keebo and Ryoma don't have an alibi... That means, it's possible one of those two is the mastermind... K1-B0: Umm... Am I under suspicion because I don't have an alibi? Kaede: No... I won't suspect you just because you don't have an alibi. And I’m not saying that because you’re a robot or anything! I’m not robophobic at all! K1-B0: Thank you very much. But...you don't need to be so PC. 

Don’t throw Ryomas under busses. Though this is more of ‘I’m stating a fact’ and not really thinking how that comes off again. Well, really you should be under suspicion Keebo, but Kaede already knows who the culprit is and is trying to make you feel better since you’re clearly anxious about it. So she leans into your weak point...and you tell her it’s fine and she doesn’t need to do that. Now is that because her outright saying she not a robophobe makes you feel silly, or are you so worried about inconveniencing your friends you’re just automatically downgrading the importance of your feelings? keebo doesn’t know what he wants. So who’s the one to ask the protagonist about the last bit of evidence they get?

K1-B0: ...Kaede! Are those the developed photos?

zero points for guessing designated audience insert. I have a question and wish to ask it is just how he rolls, especially early on when everyone needs time to talk.

K1-B0: There is one more photo of the front entrance, correct? 

as you see.  A+ for consistency.

Kaede: The camera pointed at the front entrance only snapped these four photos... K1-B0: Neither Rantaro nor anyone else who could be the culprit are in the photos... Ryoma: Did they both enter through the back door, then? 

Adding his two cents, though he’s basically stating the obvious. Hmm. Is it really his two cents when he’s just making factual comments? Ryoma’s the one who actually moves the thought to the next question that needs to be answered.

Ryoma: Could the culprit have gone into the hidden door? K1-B0: Yes, that is a possibility. Korekiyo: For now, let us see the next picture. There is one remaining, isn't there? 

Validating other people’s assumptions but not adding any of his own here.  

Shuichi: But that would mean that Rantaro noticed it... He saw...our hidden camera... K1-B0: Moving the bookcase triggers the sensor, which in turn activates the camera, right? The bookcase appears to have already been moved, so why did the sensor activate...? Tenko: Who cares!? What happened to the culprit!? How come they're not in any of the photos!? 

Tenko, Keebo cares. That’s why he asked.  He’s either not quite understanding how the sensor works...or he’s pointing out the bookcase has moved more than it should have to trigger the sensor a second time. So we know someone came out of the mastermind lair when Rantaro got distracted by the flash. We will never touch on this again! We know the door can automatically close, but it’s in the exact same position despite the camera interval timers. this is probably just oversight but it is kind of funny to think this could have been a giveaway.

Kaede: We just need to expose the mastermind in this class trial! And then everything, including this killing game...will come to an end. K1-B0: Yes, that's right.

Gotta stick to those safe tiny bits of encouragement eh Keebs? even if he’s wrong

K1-B0: I'm sorry, I can't even posit a guess as to who the culprit might be...But I haven't given up! I assure you, we will avenge Rantaro!

‘I have nothing useful to add, so I’m going to use odd words and restate my willingness to help.’ The choice of ‘avenge’ is pretty interesting though. Keebs isn’t big on violence, and we’re not going to be avenging Rantaro with a song and dance number here, we’re gonna get someone else dead. Perhaps we’re getting a tiny peek at the ends justify the means Keebo who only really gets to come out to play in chapter six. or he’s just mimicking the other’s sentiments and not thinking too hard about what avenging would mean :v

Keade: An...elevator? K1-B0: Does he want us to board it?

protagsaskstupidquestions.txt

K1-B0: This is an authentic replica of a courtroom

No it’s not! Well maybe it is in ronpa world. oh god does he know what they look like because he was literally built for this. is this why he threatens with lawsuits.

Tenko: First, let's breathe in! And breathe out! We need to remember our "No, No, No's"! “No pushing! No running! No talking!” K1-B0: But communication is the foundation of any discussion!

The human is confusing me, and we’ve been here for like five seconds. He can’t think of a good way to start, so he’s stuck just pointing out things that might be problems, such as not talking :v

Ryoma: The mastermind, huh? Odds are, it's one of us... Kokichi: It's Kee-boy over here! Everyone else thinks so too! K1-B0: D-Does everyone really think that...!? Kaede: We'll get to the bottom of this... 

He can instantly buy into the idea that everyone suspects him. Even when it’s coming from Kokichi. Kaede sort of denies it, but this poor boy. He’s trying so hard and wants to do his best but has no trouble at all going ‘yeah everyone doubts me’. Maybe that’s a protag thing, with how Shuichi freaks out when you present the wrong evidence :v (THEY’LL THINK I’M A FRAUD)

Kaede: Because, Rantaro didn't have the card key to open the hidden door. You'd think the mastermind would have that card key on him, right? K1-B0: Perhaps the culprit took the card key after killing Rantaro? Shuichi: But none of the pictures show Rantaro holding the card key. So I don't really think he had the key at all

Time for Keebo to make little logical guesses and generally be wrong, since this is Kaede and Shuichi’s trial to run. Someone’s gotta double down on Rantaro possibly being the mastermind I suppose. 

Ryoma: To lure Rantaro to the library...and kill him K1-B0: Does that mean the culprit and the mastermind are one in the same? Korekiyo: Hmm... That does seem plausible. It’s very likely the mastermind knew about Kaede and Shuichi’s trap. Kaede: The mastermind knew about our trap this whole time?

Yes, but actually no. Ryoma, Keebo and Korekiyo are absolutely correct here, even though we won’t be getting the correct answer. It’s kind of impressive that the ‘real world’ protag and his Investigation Buddy have the actual right answer here. (Kiyo and Keebs were together after all). Ryoma’s showing up a lot near Keebo’s dialogue too :v The most unexpected trio ever.

K1-B0: So you knew nothing about the trap in the library? Miu: I'm tellin' ya, I had no idea! Not like it matters...cuz I never went to the library, okay!? Ryoma: The person who made the cameras...would've known their blind spots, too.

Keebo Ryoma tag team...to get the agree statement Kaede needs. I don’t think Keebo has really talked to Miu beyond her calling him pathetic once still.

Ryoma: Cool your jets, kid. Korekiyo: Tsumugi and Kirumi were both in the dining hall as well. K1-B0: We can dismiss those four as potential culprits if they were together the entire time. Korekiyo: No...not the entire time. At one point, Tsumugi went to the restroom. Tsumugi: Oh...so you brought that up after all...It's true. I went to the restroom closest to the dining hall.

I really didn’t notice how often these guys are paired together but now I keep seeing them. Kiyo corrects Keebo like a good Investigation Buddy and brings up a damning clue even. THAT WE WON”T USE AAAAA

Tenko: I would never punch a foe from behind! A true aikido master would never do something so dishonorable! K1-B0: Punching is permitted in aikido!? Tenko: Yes! Neo-Aikido even uses wooden swords! Maki: All you've proven is that you're an idiot.

A distraction conversation in the mass panic debate, but the fact Keebo is so baffled here is funny to me. I suppose he’d be more interested in self defense styles like aikido. Gonta also mentions  ‘ Not person... Robot? Like Keebo? ‘ when talking to Angie. Keebo Is Not A Person is a pretty common sentiment in the class :v

Tsumugi: The A/V Room's sliding door doesn't open, so you can't get into the hallway. K1-B0: If you cannot enter the hallway, how would you open the rear door to the library? Kirumi: Although you cannot fit your whole body through the sliding door, an arm would suffice. It would be possible if you used a particular item in the A/V Room.

Keebo doesn’t talk a ton in this trial because Lots Of People need screentime, but here he is to ask more questions now that we’ve moved past the correct culprit and are moving on to the ‘acceptable’ culprit. He continues to follow Kirumi’s logic path after this exchange too.

Kirumi: Yes, the act of throwing a shot put ball could lead one to use it as a weapon. K1-B0: Even if a person couldn't fit through the space, a shot put ball certainly would.

He doesn’t see the contradiction Kaede does in the whole open bookcase thing, after all. So he’s just helping in making Gonta look suspicious.

Kokichi: Yup! A walking, talking Roomba can't compare to a mighty beast like Gonta! K1-B0: That Roomba remark...is probably not about me, as l have a variety of custodial functions.

Yes, I’m sure everyone totally believes he believes that. While your rebuttal is ‘i can do lots of types of cleaning over a roomba’. This robot, I swear. I tell Kaede off for assuming robots should just need to clean but to prove myself to Kokichi I will talk about how good I am at cleaning things. (Amusing, Kaede apparently magically remembers this, she brings up Keebo’s cleaning function in one of her Salmon mode library dates :v) Also: Kokichi proving to himself that he can derail the robot REALLY EASILY if he wants to be distracting in trials. Keebo doesn’t participate again until another robot crack sets him off. 

Tsumugi: We don't even know if they're a guy or not, though, right? Himiko: Or if they're even human... K1-B0: Are you referring to me?

Himiko doesn’t like you Keebo, I’m sorry. Who else could she be referring to? The fact Tsumugi is saying this to Kaito’s ‘culprit should man up and confess’ thing though? Ha

Angie: The culprit was hiding in the library the whole time, before Kaede and Shuichi even placed the cameras. K1-B0: Where would they have hidden? Angie: Inside the hidden door! Ryoma: So you’re sayin’ the culprit was lyin’ in wait there? Korekiyo: If that's true, the suspects...are those who were alone at time of the incident.

Oh look, Keebo is talking when proof of the real culprit shows up, and asks the question that brings up that proof. Angie’s right! Kiyo is going a bit too far in suspecting Keebo and Ryoma here, but they’d be on the right track if it wasn’t for that chalk dust in the card reader :v 

Kirumi: So the real question is how the culprit entered and exited the library. K1-B0: We cannot continue until we address that problem first! Korekiyo: It’s quite the mystery. How did the killer avoid being caught by the cameras?

He’s helping a little here in making sure the discussion stays on this topic, but Investigation Buddy Kiyo is the one doing the work again. Keebs, you are really showing your inner Makoto :v

Miu: Eureka! I know how the culprit got in the library-- the front door! K1-B0: Um... Have you been paying attention? The camera would've taken their picture. Miu: Not if the culprit timed their movements around the camera intervals!

He’s so exasperated by her by saying something that goes against hard evidence/logic. He hasn’t even considered such a thing like camera intervals. He’s pretty bad about thinking of stuff that goes against ‘facts’. Sadly we won’t get more robot sass for a bit. But hey, we got some.

Miu: The three cameras that Kaediot and Poo-ichi placed go off when they pick up movement. From there, it takes 30 seconds for the film to auto-roll to the next photo. K1-B0: So, for 30 seconds, anyone could've entered the library without their photo being taken!? Kirumi: That may have been enough time to kill Rantaro and exit the library...

Thank you for summarizing for the audience Keebo, I think they figured that out. He’s perfectly happy to work with Miu even if he was just snarking at her for not paying attention. She just needed a logical reason and now he’s on board, no problems. This is probably the first non-aggressive/in agreement bit the two have, depending on how you read their other interactions.

Korekiyo: I see. Then he caused the receiver to go off in front of Kaede to trick her. Shuichi: ... K1-B0: It's certainly plausible, considering that Shuichi knew about the intervals.

Ryoma, since the receiver trick is his idea is the one who gets Keebo on the Suspecting Shuichi bandwagon. The fact Kiyo talks right before he decides it’s plausible is just amusing. He keeps following them, but doesn’t seem very sure. He doesn’t join in for the following debate.

Kaede: So that’s why there’s no way Shuichi could’ve turned off the receiver! Shuichi: ... K1-B0: If that is true, then the entire premise of the argument thus far is wrong... Kirumi: Is this true, Kaede?

He doesn’t actually ask if it’s true, just what it would mean if it was. I’m not sure if I’d rather take it as he doesn’t really buy it or not, she doesn’t seem like a great liar, but Keebo is pretty garbage at reading things. I don’t really think be buys it yet personally (he does later once hearing ‘why would I lie’), that why he doesn’t want to ask, but I can see it being the other way, in he does completely and he’s bummed that they’re back to square one.

Korekiyo: Or perhaps...you wanted to cover for Shuichi, even at the cost of your life. Shuichi: ...Huh?

Kokichi: Words from a true heartless robot! Emotions are only for meatbags! K1-B0: That is a harmful stereotype. I can produce heartfelt remarks through calculations! Tsumugi: Like "less than three"? Those kinds of calculations?

Mugi’s just here to dunk on a robot. Keebo is actually showing how different he is from everyone here. Even though he’s a big team player, he can’t fathom why someone would risk death for a lie for someone else. Kokichi is going to give Keebo a real life example someday, but it seems like Keebo is a tiiiny bit selfish here, or really just very lonely. He doesn’t have a strong enough relationship with anyone to make this idea seem possible, that and he’s not much of a liar. It’s not a shock Kokichi jumps on him here to try and figure out if this is just a shortcoming or Keebo just doesn’t feel much in general, but Keebo’s angry response probably clued him in. Even if he needs to clarify he’s doing so via calculations. Maybe you;re a bit too honest, Keeboy. (Also, given what we learn in his third FTE, a bit strange. His previous self killed himself over risking hurting the professor again...but perhaps he’s not counting that because it’s not a lie?) Either way, he’s taking Kaede’s lie as 100% truth at this point.

Miu: So we all agree that Poo-ichi did it!? Then let's just vote already! K1-B0: No, I think it’s too soon to determine the culprit. Tsumugi: Umm...I agree. I sort of can't believe that Shuichi is the culprit.

mugi i swear to god you just love flaunting don’t you. Keebo’s the first to go ‘actually let’s not die killing tthe wrong person’, so good for him. Against Miu, again. you two have a rocky start huh.

Ryoma: If Shuichi had the receiver, it could have been disguised. K1-B0: Kaede is the one who actually had the receiver!

Robot is gonna be the one taking the lie in the debate scrum and using it as a weapon. She said she didn’t lie, it is a fact now, and he’s sticking with it. He really flip flops on how much he wants to trust people. I think he wants to trust everyone generally, but then he gets in that logic zone and starts being suspicious again. Thaaat and the voice in his head often probably tells him to get off the logic track and believe. He listens to it when he ‘doesn’t know what to do’, and let’s be real Keebo is almost in a constant state of ‘what do’. The less confident he is, the more likely he’s going to be nudged into being trusting...

Kaito: Whoa! The brightness is totally different! K1-B0: Same room, circumstance, and camera. And yet, there is a disparity in brightness...

Reiterating and expanding on what Kaito said here, but he’s letting Shuichi explain it instead of trying to do so himself. It’s this sort of thing that makes me think his confidence is incredibly fragile >>

Shuichi: ...Kaede is the culprit. K1-B0: Huh!?

Keebo has identified the new protagonist and is now reacting to them first instead of False Protagonist. I suppose it makes sense he’s first to react a decent chunk of the time...he does have a computer for a brain. Quick on the update, sometimes. Not that he knows what to say beyond being baffled.

Shuichi: How Kaede killed Rantaro with the shot put ball...should become clear when you consider where she used it. K1-B0: Where she used the shot put ball?

Keebo you were in the room and pointed out the vent, come on buddy. but i was serious about how he’s figured out who he should be listening to most closely again.

Shuichi: ...She rolled it. She rolled the shot from the first floor classroom and hit Rantaro. K1-B0: I am skeptical that she could perform such a feat of accuracy...

see? Of course in his confusion the thing he personally investigated has just dropped right out of his hard drive. :v It does egg Shuichi on so he’ll continue explaining. It’s his show now. To the point Keebo stays silent until we get to Kaede’s motivations.

Shuichi: You weren’t persuaded by Monokuma...and you weren't trying to save yourself. What you were trying to do...was kill the mastermind! K1-B0: Kill...the mastermind? Shuichi:  Kaede wasn't targeting Rantaro. She was targeting the mastermind. She was trying to end this killing game... She was trying to save us all. ...Isn't that right, Kaede?

Keebo just loves to pretend to be Solid Snake. He’s been really quiet otherwise, this isn’t a good time. Kaede was one of the friendliest people to him, too.

Kaede: ... K1-B0: Kaede, what would possess you to do something like this?

Even after hearing how it played out (well, everyone thinks it played out) he still doesn’t get it. She did it to kill the mastermind, but he just can’t see why you’d ever take such a step. Maybe he wants to hear it from her, but it’s still a gut punch.

Kaede: I felt like if I didn't do this, then Rantaro's death would have been meaningless. K1-B0: We were searching for both the culprit and the mastermind during this class trial. Angie: Ah, Kaede did mention that.

What can you say to something like that? His death is ‘meaningless’ in a way, but the truth about him will come about later. (too bad keebo’s is the MOST meaningless) Keebo just chooses to stick to stating the facts, as if that’ll help it make more sense. Not that it probably does. He still has questions.

K1-B0: But, Kaede, why did you set such a convoluted trap? If your intent was to kill the mastermind, there was no reason for you to cover your tracks. Kaito: Isn't it obvious? It's because...she didn't want Shuichi to know.

Kaito is way better at figuring out people’s motivations, especially if driven by emotion. Keebo’s question is sensible...but it is probably rather obvious to everyone else there. He’s accepted she killed with a reason, though we don’t know if he thinks it was a good reason. Being tricked like this...it couldn’t have been good for anyone. He doesn’t stand up to the Exisals. He’s not going to throw his life away.

Kaede: Even after I'm gone...my wish will still be here. So I’m counting on you all! I’m entrusting my wish to every one of you! I believe in you! I believe that you all will make it through this, somehow! You guys better live! Don't go dying on me now! End this ridiculous killing game, survive, and get the hell out of this place! And then...be friends after you escape, okay? I think you’ll all be the best of friends. K1-B0: Affirmative, Kaede...

He will agree to try and make her wish come true. (before everyone else. he’s quick on the draw for this kind of thing.) Of course...no one takes her death well.

A horrible mess Keebo, a horrible mess. Of course, he can still pull himself together if a question needs to be asked.

Monokuma: ...Hate you? Puhuhu...who can say? That's your job to figure out. If you really wanna know what's going on, you're gonna have to work for it. ...Though the corpse formerly known as Rantaro may have had a hunch. Gonta: ...Huh? K1-B0: What do you mean? What was Rantaro's hunch? Monokuma: Puhuhu... What, indeed?

Posing for the camera, that bear. Unfortunately, Keebo doesn’t really pursue what Rantaro’s hunch might have been...or if he does, Shuichi isn’t around to see him do it. Or maybe he mentions it in a one off line and I’ve forgotten. We’ll see.

Tenko: Wh-what kinda d-degenerate male... cries in p-public...? It’s so r-rude... Keebo: But, Tenko, you're crying too. Ryoma: Now's not the time to point that out, Keebo. Just let it be.

Ryoma’s a good guy, he’s figured out Keebo doesn’t really mean anything by it, and he’s genuinely confused by Tenko’s illogical statement. No mockery or anything, just tells him to let it go for now. Of course he’s trying to get more easily answered questions figured out when you’re stuck dealing with ones like ‘why did Kaede have to die’, ‘why did it have to be so cruel’ or ‘what secrets do we know nothing about’. He’d rather be distracted right now.

Kaito: Clench your teeth! K1-B0: Kaito! You are supposed to say that *before* you hit him!

An easy fact that can be applied, so he speaks up. He’ll be speaking up when Kaito does a repeat performance later, too. Kaito and Keebo get on each others case sometimes :v But now it’s Keebo’s turn to be a bit insensitive. 

Shuichi: ...I'm fine.

Gonta: Gonta not sure it waste of time. But Gonta agree, fighting not good...

That was a pretty emotional moment between people mourning a lost one with Kaito trying to get Shuichi to stand up and fight back annnnnd Keebo’s calling it a waste of time. Oooof, he is bad at people. Gonta disagrees, though to Keebo it’s logically just a waste. He can’t see what they’re gaining here, or the point of fighting between friends like this. We know in hindsight that Shuichi kind of needs this, but our robot pal doesn’t. That, and violence is never really entering his acceptable solution list. Not yet.

Shuichi: Sorry, you should go ahead without me... K1-B0: ...Why? Is there a reason you wish to stay in a place like this? Shuichi: I want to be alone for a while. Just for a little bit.

must...respond...to...protagonist...Cannot understand why you want to stay in the place Kaede just died and you got punched in. Shuichi kinda gives a non answer, but Keebo doesn’t press. Probably because he’s not going to understand the answer anyway. That’s in for chapter one!

Why did I do this? Cus I’m in the mood to replay it and I am going to babble about my favourite who deserves better. The other kids a bit too, I do like them all but mostly the robot lad.

Also congratulations if you got this far, you’re just as nuts as I am! please share your own hot takes/ things you just realized from all the quotes shoved in here. I probably should have worked on my fanfics instead of doing this :v (I have a bunch on Keebo as Verl on A03, if you are like ‘yeas i want more ravings from this mad being’) ...I’ll be back with Chapter two later...

[badluckbee]

the last of us part 2 opinions that no one asked for but i need to get out of my system !!SPOILERS!!

i literally don’t give a shit if the story is for you or not, art is subjective. BUT i think that there are some fundamental misunderstandings about what makes a good game or not?? idk you’re welcome to disagree but people are throwing around a lot of “i didn’t like it, therefore it is bad” ideas & it’s not sitting right with me. there’s gonna be spoilers in this post you’ve been warned.

i loved this game. it challenged me and even though it has its issues, it was still really good it still made me think and feel things so some of these reviews have seriously made me go ??!??!?!?!??

if you didn’t like tlou2 and want to argue with people that did like it about how bad a game it is i’m not going to do that,, you can go play the first game again i’m not stopping you from not liking and not playing this game. this is simply my perception of the game and the most common criticisms i’ve seen.

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if the only reason you don’t like the game is because boohoo they killed my favourite character,, literally as someone who has had the majority of my favourite characters die, they didn’t disrespect joel by killing him & ppl being THIS babyish about it & calling for them to rewrite the whole story is immature and embarrassing as fuck. that’s my biggest problem with the “fanbase” right now, we all knew that joel did a bad thing in saving ellie and we know that he’s done a ton of bad things before that, remember “we’re shitty people, joel, it’s been that way for a long time”?? tess wasn’t wrong, it makes sense that someone someday would come back for him and they did. if that’s what you’re mad about lol get a grip it’s not like we don’t see him throughout the whole game. (also i thought we all knew he was gonna die from the first trailer anyway) (also also did you guys not pick up on it when there was a song where the first line was “if i ever were to lose you, i’d surely lose myself” they laid out the whole game for you right there lmao)

things i’ve seen in reviews repeatedly that didn’t sit right:

1) joel and tommy wouldn’t have trusted abby.

joel and tommy have been living in a close knit community for four years with friends and family, there’s already a false sense of security. as far as they know, this is just a group passing through, they had no reason at all to believe that there was any malicious intent after not only saving abby but abby returning the favour and helping them out. they’ve never met them before, up until ‘the moment’ they’re very nice and welcoming, they also needed abby to trust them if they were all going to get out of that mess of infected alive. (ppl also forget that in the first game joel was, although hesitant, still perfectly willing to trust and travel with people, including henry and sam, who were kids just like this group so don’t play the ‘first game’ card)

2) ellie should have killed abby.

you’re seriously trying to tell me that killing abby would magically cure ellie of her ptsd??? if you weren’t blinded by your love of joel you’d know that’s not true lol literally the point is that killing her wouldn’t bring joel back it would only leave lev alone and vulnerable like ellie was and the meaningless violence would continue. literally none of the killing the characters did in this game made them feel remotely better, that’s the point. abby moved on from her pain by finding lev and looking after him, not by killing joel, just like ellie needs to begin to heal, not kill abby. if you wanted that fight to have a choice of whether you could kill abby or not i could POSSIBLY accept that but i would absolutely choose to spare abby every time. that last fight didn’t feel right anyway imo, i wanted to let her go before they even started.

3) ellie should have ended up with dina.

this game is shouting at your face that your actions have consequences!! no other ending made sense, if ellie killed abby and went back to find dina & jj still at the farm waiting for her there would be no lesson learned and no character growth!!

3) you shouldn’t have played as abby.

this is a grey one to me, i absolutely think you should play as abby but i think that the order was a little off, no one would be rooting for her over ellie after she killed a favourite character but if you have an open mind abby’s section of the game is really really fun and has some of the best moments in the game. i have some thoughts about what i personally think would have been super cool and i’m going to put it at the end of this post on the off chance that someone reads it but i totally get why they did it the way they did and it worked very well from abby’s day 2 onwards!!

4) it’s too violent?????

tell me what i’m missing here??? nd was as transparent as possible that this is a violent game centred around revenge and hatred that would feature brutal violence, smart ai and devastating cutscenes. yet there are people complaining that the game is too violent WHILE describing how bad they want to fuck up abby???? i understand not enjoying the violence, i wasn’t too bothered bc i’m pretty desensitised & i use way more stealth anyway but there were moments when it didn’t feel right & that’s okay?? that’s what they warned us about???

5) it’s just pushing an agenda, it’s too sjw.

people exist that are not male, white, straight and cis. stop crying about it.

i know no one will read this but i had a thought about a way to order the story to connect more with abby & needed to put it somewhere:

ok imagine for a minute if they had marketed it as a spinoff not a new game with new characters & no ellie or joel. you start as abby from her first day in seattle, forget everything before that for now!! imagine playing from there through to day 3 as normal, there are some very vague references to her dad dying and to her finally finding the killer but nothing that’s a giveaway for who her dad was or what happened in jackson. then we get to day 3 and that sniper scene (which was fuckin spectacular btw) and we see that it’s tommy there and it’s like ??!??!?!?!!??!? but we have to let it go for now to move the story on until we get to the theatre and we see eLLIE ?!???!??!?!!?!!?!!!!? and that’s where it cuts off and we go back and play as ellie and we see what abby did

i’m not a writer and i know that there would be problems with doing it that way but wouldn’t it be such a plot twist if we had been playing as abby from the start and connected with her and her friends more before finding out that ellie and tommy are even in the game never mind on their way to kill us??? i get why they didn’t do that though lol no one would have played it.

anyway this post isn’t attacking people for not liking the game or thinking that there are issues, this post is specifically about the people that claim that it’s objectively a bad game because they personally don’t like it.

here are some fuckin good awe-worthy moments that people are conveniently forgetting about:

- this is personal but tommy is one of, if not my favourite character, at least to me he’s one of the most interesting so seeing jeffrey pierce get more screentime was a big win for me!!

- jesse, yara and lev are DELIGHTFUL i love them v v much

- the museum i cried so much it’s so cute

- the acting!!?!?!?? especially ashley, the scene where ellie forced the truth out of joel is my favourite scene in either game acting-wise it BROKE me

- i said it before but the sniper scene was incredible

- the rat king!!! i'm a wimp it was so scary but man that reveal was fantastic

- abby’s fear of heights,, HELLO that scene on the bridges!!! i’m not scared of heights but it really got me

- the hotel!! how does nd manage to make hotels so scary

- the switch between playable characters was a plot twist and a half!!!! i gasped it was so unexpected i loved it!!!

- actually showing that the characters aren’t invincible and struggle with what they’ve been through,, showing ellie’s ptsd was so important!!!!

- ok idk why but the scene in the first game with david in the restaurant makes me so nervous every time,, i start shaking and sometimes i cry when i finish it bc that’s the definition of horror to me i HATE it it’s too scary. so when i got to that parallel with ellie and abby at the theatre and ellie was ‘the david’ of that encounter i had to sit and think about it for a long time, that scene shook me and i love nd for doing that!!

there’s probably more but this is already the longest post i’ve ever made & i’m tired (i’m not the best at getting my points across as well so if there’s anything that’s worded weirdly that’s on me)

[peggysousfan]

Anomaly Misfire

This is the fic add on to the edit I had posted previously to do with Bellarke. The Anomaly sends Bellamy back in time to Earth after Primfaya, what will happen when he sees Clarke? This is based on a gif set I saw on Tumblr lol its amazing and looks so real, I wish it were.

"It's been 58 days. By now, Monty should have the algae farm producing." Clarke speaks through a makeshift radio while eating a few berries she found in the valley. Compared to algae, berries were better. "How bad does it suck? No offense Monty." She stops speaking but only hears static. She never gets a reply to her calls. "And I found berries, a whole field of them! They're not very sweet, but they're beautiful. I think that's what they used to make the paint for-"

As Clarke speaks through the radio and turns her head aside to look at the paint on a house, an illuminating green swirl appears seemingly out of no where. A small crackle of lights move through before the green mist vanished, leaving behind something- or rather someone. She stands up from her chair and cautiously steps closer to the man left behind by the mysterious green swirl.

"Clarke?" He whispers with his hands out stretched, unsure how to proceed. Her hair is longer than it was at Sanctum, and from the looks of his surroundings he's back at Shadow Valley.

"Be-Bellamy?!" Her voice cracks a bit as she looks around unsure if she's hallucinating from the radiation and dehydration. She did just discover the valley not too long ago after all.

"Wher-uh... I'm back on Earth? How..." He looks around and walks but before he's aware, a pair of arms wrap around his torso, blonde hair now fills under his chin. He chuckles and embraces her back, but what he doesn't expect is her to panic and start dragging him to the rover. "Clarke? What are you-"

"We have to get you to Becca's lab before the radiation sets in and kills you! Bellamy..." She turns around to face him, worry etched in her face. "It hasn't been five years. Its not safe for you to be here."

He chuckles lightly and halts to a stop, confusing Clarke. She pulls him more but he continues to laugh.

"Bellamy!?"

He takes her hand in his and walks back to the table where she was sitting before he had appeared. He then notices the radio and sighs. Madi was right, she did call to him while he was in space. At this thought he looks around.

"Where's Madi?" Now Clarke is even more confused.

"Who's Madi?"

"Your daughter..."

His words barely process through her mind as they stand near each other. But as Bellamy sees the perplexed expression over Clarke's face, he realizes they haven't met yet. That is, if he's thinking correctly about where and when he is in time.

"Bell I don't have a-" But before she can finish her sentence, she stops and looks to her left. A child stands from a distance and watched them. "Oh my God..."

The little girl runs off and before Bellamy knows it, Clarke runs after her. "Clarke!" But its no use, she can't hear him.

With a huffed breath he runs after her. He catches up to her within moments, trees and branches hanging in his face as he tries to smack them away. Its been a long time since he's been on earth, when things actually made since then. Clarke shouts in Trigedasleng to grab the girls attention, but she keeps going further into the woods. Bellamy stops running when he sees Clarke stop, she's looking at a child with crazed hair from afar. That has to be Madi. He thinks. But in the blink of an eye she runs off again. Clarke doesn't hesitate to run after her and so Bellamy follows them with a roll of his eyes. How can a small child run this fast? Clarke is still ahead of him but her voice echoes through the trees.

"Wait! Are you alone? Are there others?" She stops running to look at her surrounds and stops when she sees the little girl staring at her on the trail. Clarke speaks in trig once more.She says, "You're a nightblood, right?"

Clarke steps forward cautiously, trying to talk down to the girl, but she doesn't move. Instead Clarke does and eventually steps into a bear trap. She screams out in pain from the metal piercing the skin of her leg. Bellamy hears and runs faster. The little girl attacks Clarke in the mean time, attempting to stab her with a knife. She avoid most of the blows but her arm is cut, leaving black to trickle down her arm.

"Clarke!" The valley girl looks up at Bellamy and runs in the opposite direction, but seeing as Clarke is screeching in agony, his main focus on her. Bellamy bends down and helps her out of the bear trap, then carries her back to the village, but not without  fight. He sets her down after a while and she limps into one of the houses.

She grabs her bag on the way to sitting down on a table, ripping her pants leg as she does so. Bellamy tries to help but isn't sure what to do. "Its okay, Bellamy. I-I got it." Her words come out in a stutter as she hurriedly grabs a thread and needle.  At first she hesitates, but proceeds to stitch up the gashes on her leg. The only thing Bellamy can do is sit and listen to her agonizing sounds. After she's done, she passes out from the pain, but not before Bellamy rushes to her side and catches her head.

Clarke stays unconscious for several hours, so long he starts to worry about her. He periodically checks the wound and takes the liberty of cleaning it up as much, and as gently, as he can. But after several more minutes of waiting, and dozing off himself, Clarke wakes and startles at the pain in her leg.

"Hey hey hey! Easy... don't hurt yourself." Clarke jumps slightly before remembering Bellamy's presence. It takes a few moments before she realizes he isn't burning from radiation.

"You're... you're okay?" Her arm reaches out to him, inspecting the skin on his neck, hands, and face.

"Me? Of course I'm fine. You're the one that stepped into a bear trap."

Clarke thinks for a moment as the memories flood back into her mind, but right now the tap isn't her main concern. "No, that's not- Bellamy... how are you still alive? The radiation levels aren't safe. And how did you even get back?"

"Uhh... well I can answer one question." He shrugs and smiles, though she's still unhappy with his answer. The glare from her face tells him that very thought, though it is also contorted in pain. "Abby injected us with nightblood before returning to Sanctum." But as he says this his eyes widen and he flinches. "Sorry I didn't mean to... I'm sorry."

"For what? And when did my mom make you a nightblood? You went off to space because the blood wasn't tested. I was the only one who took the syringe and injected myself." It was then he realized that Abby was still alive in the bunker. Clarke hadn't lost her yet. He feels like he should warn her, tell her whats coming, but then again who knows what will happen if he does. "And why are you looking at me like that? You still haven't answered my question of how you got here." Bellamy freezes and looks away from her.

"Look, Clarke, I don't know how I got here. One minute I'm in the Gabriel's tent holding Octavia after she's stabbed, then I'm taken by invisible people through the anomaly. I fought them off and I ended up falling and then landing here."

For several moments she sits quietly trying to process everything Bellamy has just said, and yet none of it makes sense to her. "What!?!? You were just in space with Monty, Raven, and the others. Octavia is still in the bunker and I have no idea who Gabriel is or what the 'Anomaly' is either. And what is Sanctum?"

"Uhh... shit."

"Bellamy?" She presses for more answers but he doesn't budge.

"It's complicated, okay?"

"Complicated." She echoes his words before trying to stand up. He asks what she's doing but shrugs it off. "You wouldn't understand. It's too complicated." She bites back, causing him to startle.

"Clarke come on. Its not easy to explain."

"Really? Then what is?" She turns to look at him over her shoulder and he freezes in place unsure what she means. Clarke scoffs at his confused look and sits facing him. "Bellamy we were born in space, sent to earth with no knowledge if it was inhabitable, then set up camp and fought a war with savages for land. Then Mount weather happened, I was on the run from literally very clan that existed only to be stuck in a worse situation fighting an AI and having to become a nightblood and fight off a whole city of innocent people. Then after almost dying I  find out the world was once again going to burn down into nothing, which left us having to choose and send hundreds of our own people to their deaths! Which left me one of the only people left on Earth above ground. But no, I wouldn't know complicated."

Bellamy inhales a deep breath and sighs, knowing everything she said is true. But what happens next is even worse than what they've faced before. Everything on earth were trial runs building up to Sanctum and the war raging on there.

"You really wanna know?" She gives him to look and he chuckles. Of course she wants to know. "Well, believe it or not I'm from the future."

"Future? Seriously?" He laughs at this and sits back in the chair he occupied before she woke up.

"Yeah. Seriously." Clarke looks at him through the moonlight and does realize he seems different, but she couldn't' think of how much time had changed since then. "Earth becomes uninhabitable within a matter of weeks after 6 years pass by. Once that happens we leave. Travel in our sleep to another planet where...things are the same as Earth. Trouble every where we go. We tried to be peaceful, civil even, but-" As Bellamy stops talking his voice cracks. The memory of figuring out Josephine taking over Clarke's body still haunts him.

"But what?" Her voice is soft and light, curious at why he stopped talking.

"They tried to kill you. I thought you were dead, Clarke." At this Clarke sits up straighter, trying to ignore searing pain in her lag as she does so. "To me and everyone else, you died and there was nothing we could do. There was nothing I could do! Peace was the goal and even though we tried to not.. to- dammit!"

"Bellamy..." She reaches out to him as he jumps from his chair and combs his hand through his hair. His mind fills back with the emotion, the dread, of thinking he had lost her forever.Clarke reaches out and touches his arm, grounding him back to reality.

"I tried, Clarke. I tried to keep the peace but... it didn't work out." he explains everything he could. From the mind drives, to nightblood and its connection, to Russel, Josephine, the Primes, and Sanctum. As well as the rebellion and the strange Anomaly that had taken Octavia back. Bellamy told her everything. As he does so, she sits back and groans from the pain. He reaches out to her but she says she's fine. "Clarke?"

"I-I don't know what to say to that, Bellamy. But now I understand why you apologized for mentioning my mom." He sighs and reaches out to her again, this time she accepts and holds his hand. "So all of this happens and what? We can't change anything can we?"

"I don't think we can."

Silence falls between them as the whirlwind of information is absorbed between them. For the rest of the night nothing else is said, they simply stay, hands together, and content on this moment.

For Clarke it has only been 58 days, but for Bellamy it has been over 70 years with a moment of content silence between them. A lingering, unsaid, feeling moving through the air. In his time living in space, Bellamy never thought he would end up with Echo, and yet he did. His mind says he cares for her, but his heart yearns for another, and still their relationship lingered on. But forces beyond his control tell him that its up to him to take fate in his own hands and be with the one he truly cared for-  the one he truly loved- and to do that was to atone for their past mistakes, if only to create a path for their future.

[astharoshebarvon]

Good books

Almost a year later, I finally got Ten Count volume 6. I had to give myself a pep talk that it doesn’t matter if the bitch is part of the volume, just forget about her horrendous self.

In the end, my love for Kurose and Shirotani won and I bought it.

I am just so happy to have it in my hands!!! I love this manga so much! I can’t put into words how much I adore this series.

I also got Ameiro Paradox/ Candy Colour Paradox because I love that too. It’s funny as hell and is a wonderful read.

Did I mention how excited I am for Ten Count anime and Given movie? I can’t tell how thrilled I am that Given is getting a movie. I don’t know how many times I cried seeing Given anime, and the lyrics of the title song— just drive a knife through my heart why don’t you.

Fair warning, I am going to vent now. These are just some things which I don’t like in the slightest in stories and fandoms. If someone does, fine. Just remember, everyone doesn’t.

Let’s start with Ten Count. I saw some comments on a manga site that literally said the bitch ( I am not going to dignify her with a name. The slut doesn’t deserve it )  looked nice standing next to Kurose.

–She is cute even if she is evil.

–Yeah, I get what you mean. They look nice together.

I was shocked. I was so shocked. I was at a loss for words. Just because she is a girl some people are ready to forgive her for what she did and say ridiculous things like these. She ruined Shirotani in every way possible. How can someone even say that? I can’t put into words how disgusted I felt when I read that.

Do people even realise what OCD is? It’s not something to laugh about. What she and Shirotani’s father did, it wasn’t okay. I am glad Shirotani at least got the courage to talk to his father but that doesn’t erase the father was in the wrong too. Wasn’t he fucking a student?

My main problem is, why can’t people accept that some female characters are horrible?  What’s with this crap of not calling bad fem characters bad? And she wasn’t even good looking, she was creepy.

The girlfriend of Halstead in Kyou Koi wo Hajimemasu, she was a monster. She actually said Kyouta tried to force himself on her when he didn’t do shit. She was the one coming onto him like some slag. She destroyed two boys friendship and what, we shouldn’t say she was bad because she is a girl. She was horrible.

I adore Hinohara Meguru’s works, I really do. I love love love Secret XXX and I am definitely going to buy it next April when it’s released. I adore Itsuki and Shouhei so much !!!

I will buy Therapy Game too because I love it. I am hoping Kamisama will be licensed soon. I really want to buy it. Rin is so darn nice, he has to be with Chiharu.

But whatever nonsense that was shown between Yuka and Shizuma—it’s unrealistic.

People don’t even look at people like Yuka after they break up with them. Regardless of the fact they are in same college or work at a same place.

It’s pathetic at best the way Shizuma says he is weak to her voice.

Not to mention she was a fucking stalker and what? They are friends? Even after what she did?

She was sleeping with someone else and they are still friends. She cheated on him, hurt him emotionally, hurt his feelings and he still talks to her.

Wow.

That’s not how the world works for any relationship.

Get out of here.

She was a bitch and I have a very bad feeling she and Shizuma’s other coworkers will create problems for him and Minato in the sequel being serialised now. Minato was so uncomfortable in the first chapter.

I don’t understand why no one said this is not reality. This is stupid.

If you want to defend female characters even if they are horrible and bad, fine.

But then, you shouldn’t write things like these :  “This shows reality of gay couples.”

Pick up any tragic yaoi/shonen ai where one half of a couple marries a woman and the other is left alone. The reviews of the story have this line.

Those works are praised and applauded. Why? Is that really the reality of all same sex couples? Or are you just happy that one male got to be with a female.

If some people like reality so much, they should just go and see the news.

This reality factor isn’t present when female characters do horrendous shit (Yuka’s case). I didn’t see people saying, this is bull. Why does he even talk to her? And what the fuck does he mean by he is weak to her voice?

Dude, seriously. She cheated on you and you are weak to her voice????

This nonsense is present everywhere. Movies, books, novels, anime, manga.

Take Vampire knight for example. 

The author should have been honest and said somewhere along the line she started shipping Zero and Kaname, but since Yuuki is the main girl she couldn’t put the two boys together. Zero/Kaname is a far better ship than Zeki or whatever Airen thing the author is trying to show now. It’s laughable at best, both Zeki and Airen.

I don’t like Ai, she loved Zero and now she is after his daughter. It’s weird.

Just because Ai is yume’s daughter doesn’t mean she is wonderful. I don’t like her or Ren.

You know what, it’s not even about like. I feel nothing for them. When I saw the new cover, I was like, yeah, it’s very pretty, and it’s very sweet. I am going to save the larger version when it becomes available.

That’s it.  I could care less whether they are together or not. 

 Maybe there is a reason for Ai’s stupidity. She was raised among losers like Ruka and Aidou. Is it any wonder she ended up being weird as hell?

Ruka Souen was a horrible character, she was disgusting and I don’t understand why her husband, Akatsuki always threatened Kaname instead of talking to his oh so great love.

Dude, tell your girl to stop trying to get another woman’s man’s attention. Kaname doesn’t give a fuck about anyone except Yuuki Kuran, his love of life.

Ruka and Aidou were pathetic. The fucker even encouraged Zero to take Yuuki from Kaname, and this was supposed to be Kaname’s friend.

Yeah right. Hell, all of Kaname’s so called friends told Zero and Yuuki to get together, except, Takuma.

Have I mentioned how much I love the guy? He is the only real friend of Kaname. He had guts to say to both Zero and Yuuki what would they do if he said he had some reservations about their relationship. He brushed it off later though but at least he said it.

Except for Yuuki, Takuma and Seiren, Kaname held no feelings for anyone in this whole goddamn manga.

The only reason I am still reading this series is because I want my Yume happy ending.

Canon is shitty many times. Don’t force people to like a story or a movie. Or everything that happens in a story. Sometimes one just doesn’t like some things.

Whatever nonsense that was shown in avengers endgame (Steve–Peggy ). That was disgusting. It made my mother and me so uncomfortable that we didn’t even bother going and seeing the movie again. I saw infinity war twice but endgame – it was a horror fest.

If the movie makers wanted to show Steve with a woman that badly, well, Sharon and Natasha were right there. Why Peggy? It didn’t make sense and came off as creepy and gross. We get it, they became so scared of Stucky’s popularity that they had to show Steve with a woman. We get it.

For all three CA movies, Steve was all Bucky, Bucky, and Bucky. That’s it.

And he didn’t even talk to him in endgame. Right.

Steve/Nat was a good ship, they could have been together but what we got was some gross uncle - aunt - niece shit. Steve kissed Sharon right after Peggy’s funeral, that’s a fact. Where did his love go then?

Then again, this is the same character (Steve Rogers) who married female Tony Stark in one universe but otherwise fights with all male Tony’s.

God, could the writers get any more homophobic? Or maybe Steve saw Natasha Stark as a replacement for Peggy Carter too. I wouldn’t be surprised if that was the case. Brunettes, women.

Yeah, that does make sense.

That’s why I hate when people genderbent one half of a slash couple. It’s inherently homophobic. Stop trying to justify your reasons. Don’t give ridiculous excuses like you wanted diversity and all that crap. You are only making yourself look stupid and dumb.

This rubbish need for diversity never arose with FM couples. So, please don’t.

Where are Female Tony and Male Pepper fics, where are Female Clint and Male Natasha fics? Oh, sorry, they don’t exist. Neither do female Tony and Pepper.

If they do, they aren’t that popular. And I am sure female Clint and Natasha doesn’t exist.

But one can find plenty female Bilbo, female Harry, female Tony fics. All these OC females paired with males. They are OFC. They aren’t real.

Some people just can’t accept them (Thorin/Bilbo, Steve/ Tony) as an MM slash ship so they change their gender.

It’s MM Slash. No matter how many times you write in fics, this is Fem Harry, this is Fem Tony, Harry is a girl. This is not slash in capitals.

Stop.

You are only coming off as desperate, nothing more.

Stop trying to undermine the MM slash ship. It’s a slash ship, it will always be slash.

Is there any female Ron and male Hermione story? Yeah, Granger wouldn’t look like a God now would she if Male Hermione attacked female Ron because Ron didn’t want to date him?

Another example.

Let’s turn Merope Gaunt into a man and have him rape Tom Riddle Sr who is a female. No one would give a fuck if Merope was abused then. Merope raped Tom Riddle Sr and I am still astounded by the fact she was portrayed as a tragic figure while Tom Riddle Sr was shown as arrogant.

Excuse me?

Nobody cared about him in the books. Did he deserve to get raped for months by Merope because he was what? A man? Arrogant? Fuck off.

Since she was abused that gave her the freedom to douse the man with Amortentia for months to make herself happy. What rubbish excuse is that?

He owed her nothing. If she was abused, that doesn’t mean he was obligated to like her or care for her. And after what she did to him, he made a wise decision to run away from her.

Merope Gaunt traumatized Tom Riddle Sr. The man never married, even after escaping from her. His fate was even worse than Merope’s.

I can’t believe that this was completely swept under the rug. No one felt sorry for the man. All sympathies were for Merope.

Many things in HP don’t make sense. Couples, characters, their decisions etc.

Its fine if many people love it but there are many who don’t like it too. Stop trying to tell everyone what they should like or not. If someone doesn’t, respect that.

Genderbending one half of a slash couple is annoying and irritating. It’s homophobic and will remain that. All the dominant male keeps on saying in those dumb fics is how much they want to fuck the female/genderment male or are enamored with her chest and body. It’s revolting to even read that.

And of course they want lots of babies. That’s a must. Hetero sex and babies. That’s the crux of almost all gender bent fics. The dominant male wants to see the OFC with his babies.

Great!

Slash haters don’t hate this, do they? Isn’t this fetishizing female anatomy? Or have you actually deluded yourself into thinking female Bilbo and female Harry exists. 

They don’t.

Harry Potter is a boy, so is Bilbo Baggins. Hell, Tony Stark is a man except for in one universe.

Steve can’t fall in love with Tony if he is a male. What did he fell for then? Fem Tony’s body?

Gender bent isn’t even crack, its worse than crack. Either these original character females are docile and nice or are BAMF’s like anything.

And don’t say don’t read if you don’t like it. Why not? Why shouldn’t we make fun of these stories?

These same people have the audacity to whine about slash ships on many platforms. Even in FM stories MM is not shown as something normal. I’ve come across many FM stories which literally made me want to throw something at the screen. Some were blatantly insulting to same sex relationships.

And let’s not forget genderbent FM stories which have this rubbish line: we are okay with fem slash, but not with MM slash.

Okay, fine. Good.

What the hell does that even mean?

Hmm, maybe that’s why genderbent FF couples don’t exist. This change is only meant for MM.

Right. Wonderful.

Yikes !

This ridiculous sentence is written on many fic writers profile and these same people changed one half of a MM slash couple into a female, with this lovely sentence at the beginning of their stories: This is not slash. It’s not SLASH. We can’t stress enough, it’s not slash!

How many times do these people  have to tell themselves that it’s not slash?

It’s MM slash and will always be that.

[fae-fucker]

Zenith: Chapter 49-51

Chapter 49

So the queen of Adhira, Lira’s aunt, is, like, super disappointed with Lira and her shenanigans. Lira finally explains that while she loves her aunt, she doesn’t want to be her, aka refuses the role of planetary queen once more. I honestly have no idea what reasons Alara has for making Lira her heir, because Lira has evidently never shown any interest in politics. Why she won’t just make Lon her heir? He seems loyal and eager. Idk I guess feminism or something. Oh and we need a character conflict for Lira. Doy.

Anyhoo, Alara says that she’s been in contact with General Cortas and knows about his deal with the crew. She says she can instead offer Lira a position as a pilot for Adhira’s new starfleet. Which they apparently didn’t have before? She says they need a stronger presence “in the sky” if there’s another war, and like 1) that’s not the sky and 2) you mean to tell me that this entire planet of randos that do in fact train pilots judging by Lira’s existence ... doesn’t have a starfleet already?

Oh, but the ship Alara offers Lira is “the fastest model in the Mirabel galaxy”. The fastest model of ... what? Is it a frigate? A cruiser? A fighter? We don’t even get any made-up specs or even a general specialization, all we get is that it’s the fastest and coolest ship ever that everybody wants right now but it’s not even out on the market yet! Because that makes sense for the government that just admitted they had a minuscule starfleet to have. I would’ve accepted it if Alara tied the existence and offer of the ship back to her correspondence with General Cortas and the ship was a diplomatic gift from Arcardius, but it’s specifically mentioned to be Adhiran.

So ... these guys don’t have a meaningful “presence in the sky”, but they DO have the tech, the budget, and the marketing strategy to make the most wanted and advanced starship in the galaxy?

Oh, and this starship? Lira would pilot it as a commercial ship. So the queen wants to invest in a bigger starfleet ... except this one extra fancy ship she’s willing to throw away for regular trade? I mean I guess it makes sense if she doesn’t want to put Lira in danger but does want to sweeten the deal with a sick starship, but then I have to wonder why the previous info about the general and the lacking starfleet is even in here at all?

This whole situation is just doubt dot jpeg.

We find out that the offer only stands this once, and only if Lira immediately removes herself from her current mission and also leaves her crew to stay on Adhira. Apparently the super sexy cool new ship hasn’t even been built yet, it’s literally just a sketch, but Alara has set aside funds to start construction. But it’s also famous enough of a ship already that everyone wants it?

I’m no politician but the logistics of it all make my brain hurt. It’s just really ass-backwards, is what I’m saying. It really feels like Shinsay just wrote one word in front of the other without any consideration of the words that came before.

Oh and Lon is here also. I’m only saying this because he bites his lip and his blood is blue and I need you to remember this for future reference.

Lon and Alara tell Lira to pick them and ditch her friends because her friends are bad for her and tbh are they wrong? Are they though? Lira leaves to go mope about how uninteresting her character conflict is and finds Alfie and Dex.

Alfie sat beside him on the couch. The AI was oiling his gears while Dex oiled his insides with a bottle of Griss.

I had to read about Dex oiling his insides and now so do you.

Wait ... is Dex butt-chugging this Griss? Dex, you know that’s bad for you, bud?

Lira asks Dex if there was truly no way to save both Andi and his dad, to which Dex replies something appropriately dramatic that nobody would actually say out loud (something something tearing galaxies something), and Lira mopes out of that room as well in grim understanding of their symbolically similar situations before the chapter ends.

Chapter 50

We’re back with Andi. The girls are all “training” aka playfighting out in the open and inconveniencing the people around them while Andi angsts about how broken and sad and black her soul is and how everything is her fault including Valen’s and Lira’s pain and how much she just LOVES these WONDERFUL WOMEN she calls her crew and how HARD it was to open up to them after Kalee and Dex but now that she has she would never give them up for ANYTHING.

It goes on for literally pages and I’m not going to include it because 1) it’s pretty much a rehash of shit we already know and have seen her angst about and 2) the fact that Andi’s thoughts and character “development” is happening in her mind alone and the other girls are doing something else makes this feel really jarring and ironically disconnected. There’s nothing wrong with having emotional chapters where not much “plot” happens, but maybe have people actually, like, talk and interact with each other? Instead of just having one character think about how deep and damaged they are? Idk, just a thought.

Anyway, after several pages of pointless nonsense, Andi finally starts crying and tells the other girls that the new info from Dex and Valen’s whole deal has been taking a toll on her. She also apologizes to Lira, which, bonus points, and to the others for getting her into this. Unfortunately Lira undoes the apology and Andi’s attempt at taking responsibility and admitting to wrongdoing by saying she doesn’t need an apology and only needs to hear Andi complain so she can be the emotional sponge and fortune cookie advice dispenser of the group just like Shinsay always intended.

Now, to be fair, this section is honestly quite touching and I wish Shinsay had focused more on the friendship instead of ... well, literally everything else. Observe:

“I tried to kill [Dex]. What if I’d succeeded?”

“You didn’t,” Breck said. Her dark eyes met Andi’s pale ones as she spoke. “And now you know his side of the story, and he knows yours. You both did terrible things, broke promises, ruined a mutual trust. You can hold on to your anger, if you think that makes you strong.” She smiled a little then. “But brute strength isn’t everything, Andi. Trust me, I would know.”

Man, Breck is really wasted on this book, isn’t she? Or at least the concept of Breck. There isn’t much of her to waste in the first place, lbr.

Andi admits that if Valen tries to kill her when he wakes up, she’s not sure she’ll want to stop him. Um. Shinsay ... It’s time to close the laptop and go outside I think. You are not equipped to handle this.

The crew tells Andi that they can carry some of her burdens for her, which is very sweet, if only Andi showed the same thing in return. Right now all she’s done is mope around, think about how much she loves her crew because they’re just so supportive, and then unload her emotional baggage on them. To her credit, Andi seems hesitant and tells Lira she’s there for her too. Lira’s about to spill the blue beans when Alfie interrupts to tell them that Valen is awake. Lira says that whatever she was about to say isn’t important in what I assume is supposed to be dramatic irony? But watch this actually get forgotten and resolved without her input, making Lira some sort of prophet.

All in all, not the worst chapter, but definitely bloated.

Chapter 51

Andi is pacing back and forth and trying to hype herself up before the meeting with Valen. We find out that apparently, the entire planet of Adhira has no military, because they’re just SO peaceful? Yeahh ... no. The only way I’d accept that is if they had, like, some sort of mind-control abilities and networks of spies and agents in the governments of every other planet nation to prevent any conflict to turn on Adhira, which I doubt since they’re supposed to be the peaceful hippies of the story. It would be mad hardcore if that were the case, but alas, I fucking doubt it my dudes.

Besides, wasn’t Adhira in the war against Xen Ptera? Or did they sit it out but still celebrate the victory as if they helped? What’s going on there?

Also, it’s been four years since Andi last interacted with Valen, which I belive makes her 18-19? Meaning Dex was an older teen when he boned down mid-teens Andi. Ok ok ok ok.

Anyway, today is the day of Revalia, which the United Systems celebrate as it marks the end of the Cataclysm. Andi is not hyped. She’s also not hyped for the Intergalactic Peace Summit that’s happening.

[...] leaders from each of the four systems would be present to symbolize that peace still existed in the galaxy, and would continue to exist between the planets that made up the Unified Systems.

So ... Um. I know Shinsay probably think that “intergalactic” is a really cool sci-fi word and they’ve heard it used before so they had to put it here because it sounds science-y and official, but ... intergalactic means between galaxies. Not between star systems or planets. Given how the summit is defined, interplanetary would be more fitting because they’re all coming from different planets from different solar systems all within the same one galaxy. (Not entirely sure what fancy word would be used for multiple systems, but my point still stands.)

The secondhand embarrassment is strong in this one, y’all. Who edited this?

Gilly finds a Marketable Fuzzy Space Pet and convinces Andi to let her keep it, naming it Havoc. It’s impressive how not charmed I am.

Dex enters with Valen and Andi thinks about how different they are and how fucked-up Valen looks.

What horrors had he lived through?

Being thrown down a flight of stairs, for one. He was rotting at some point also. You know, from all the torture you know he went through for two years? Feels like you should probably know that. Oh, sorry, was that a Deep Rhetorical Question?

I should also mention that Alfie is getting on my nerves big time, which is frankly impressive on Shinsay’s part since I’ll eat up any naïve and emotionless robot character, gears and all, yet somehow they’ve written him to be obnoxious in their attempt at making him charmingly socially inept. I think the fact that I’m supposed to be finding him cute or funny is what’s making me really dislike him. Observe:

“I find the name quite fitting, Breck,” Lira added. “Every beast deserves a strong name.”

“Allow me to assist,” Alfie added, walking over on silent feet. “Havoc is defined, in the Great Universal Dictionary, as ‘great destruction or devastation. Ruinous damage.’”

[...]

Valen inclined his head at Alfie. “My deepest apologies that you’re programmed to work for my father.”

Alfie’s unblinking eyes stared at Valen. “I am detecting strong levels of distaste toward...”

“That’ll be enough, Alfie,” Dex interjected. “Why don’t you go check on the ship repairs? Memory could probably use some company.” 

At the sound of Memory’s name, Alfie’s posture straightened. “I find my gears are warming at an alarming rate. Excuse me.”

Is this supposed to be cute? Endearing? What is the point of Alfie in this story? Why is he here? It feels like his entire reason for existing is to be the silly comic relief and the stereotypical weird AI with no concept of normal interactions. I’m also hardcore weirded out by how horny he is for Memory. It’s making me genuinely uncomfortable for reasons I can’t explain.

Why do we need another comic relief guy? Dex, Gilly and Breck, and now the fucking Havoc (the weird shitty pet thing) all serve that purpose already. WHY DOES ALFIE EXIST?!

Anyway, Alfie leaves and Dex suggests that they all have an “adult conversation” (lol) and the chapter ends on Andi finally greeting Valen and it’s very dramatic.

[khtrinityftw]

Part 10: Rage Against the Patriarchy

Let’s face it: the Kingdom Hearts series has always had something of a woman problem. 

A number of strong Disney heroines like Jasmine and Megara were wimpified, Aqua in BBS was a powerful fighter but a weak character without the kind of arc her male friends got, and I already covered the issues that plagued Namine and Xion.  And by Kingdom Hearts III, things had only gotten worse, as more Disney heroines all the way up to fucking Elsa weren't given their due, Aqua was finally given an arc only to have it rendered meaningless all while her powerful fighter status got compromised repeatedly, and even Organization XIII's resident badass bitch Larxene was revealed to be motivated by feelings for a man.

But when talking about how the series failed its female characters, there's one female character that stands in a class of her own, and that's the original female lead of the KH Trinity herself: Kairi.

Kairi was the emotional heart of the KH Trinity. She is introduced very early into the original game and through several interactions we get to know her and how behind her bubbly front she has deep anxiety over her life changing and the possibility of losing her home and friends, an anxiety stemming from a traumatic past that she might remember a little more of than she lets on. 

After she disappears during Destiny Islands' destruction, she occasionally appears to Sora to provide insights or advice. That's because her heart took refuge inside of his, and she is consciously sharing his journey with him. Riku and many stupid, sexist players identify her body as her, claiming that she's "in a coma" for most of the game and needs to be woken up. But the point of the story that Keiko Nobumoto finalized is to challenge you to look past this kind of objectification and consider the spiritual reality that Sora learns: hearts are who people are in the KH universe. Sora doesn't need to save Kairi because he already did from the start, just by being such a close friend to her and connecting his heart to her's. 

And after the "Kairi's inside me" (heh) revelation is made, Kairi actually saves Sora three times in a row! She stops him from getting his head smashed in by Ansem, she refuses to believe he's gone after he disappears which allows him to hold on to his feelings as a Heartless, and then she shields him from the attacking Heartless with her own body, an act which allows him to regain his human form. That's no mere damsel in distress!

Really, the only quibble I have with Kairi in the first game is that she isn't allowed to go back to Hollow Bastion for no good reason during the big Oathkeeper scene. That was stupid and awkward, that scene really should have taken place at Hollow Bastion before going to End of the World. But otherwise, Kairi was a fully-realized, three-dimensional character with her own emotional growth. The entire ending FMV even focuses on her and how she's learned to cope with a changing life and separation from her friends thanks to the lessons she's learned about the unbreakable connections of hearts from her journey inside of Sora.

But it was all downhill from there.

Kairi is still good in COM and KH2, but not to the same extent. The idea of Kairi is a powerful one in COM and drives the entire story, but Kairi herself never makes an appearance until the end credits of the 3D remake, and I wouldn't mind so much except that Riku gets his own playable story mode in the game which sets a bad precedent going forward.  

In KH2, Kazushige Nojima's writing caused Kairi's personality to be flattened mainly to just 'love interest'; she's like a two-dimensional shadow of Final Fantasy VIII's Rinoa Heartilly. The pacing for her appearances is also sporadic and mainly confined to the last stretch of the game, and she's needlessly kidnapped by the Organization after going to Twilight Town when she could have stayed around longer and developed her character more.  Also, would it have killed them to give her a combat AI? Or explain where her new Keyblade even came from!?

But with that said, she's still a likable character who is spirited and brave, she makes a lot of new friendships like with Pluto, the Twilight Town kids and her own Nobody Namine, she effectively shows her maturity since the first game and even has some small development about learning to stop waiting after a certain point and actually take action to make what you want happen.  Most importantly, she still plays a major role in the story that justifies her existence. Sora still cares deeply for her and is just as motivated to find her as he is to find Riku once he learns she's been kidnapped. And she's the linchpin for the entire finale, as both Sora and Riku's reunion and their return home to Destiny Islands would not have happened without Kairi facilitating them. It really helps establish their friendship trio as just that: a trio, where all three are needed to make it work. Sora and Riku would not have survived the game without her.

Also, she served as the springboard for the manga adaptation's rendition, which fixes all the problems and gives us the definitive version of the character. Gotta appreciate that!

Unfortunately, you might remember that I mentioned Sora and Riku were shipped together by the massively vocal yaoi fangirl community, and they despised Kairi with a passion. This hatred spread to many fanboys too, who called her "useless" for not being an in-game fighter (hey guys, literally all of the playable characters of the KH Trinity wouldn't be around to play as without Kairi! I think that counts as a use!)  And because Nomura is both a sexist pig and a shameless fan panderer, it was clear to him what to do with Kairi.

Nothing.  Absolutely nothing.

She isn't actually in Days, not even in Mission Mode as a playable character despite even fucking Donald and Goofy being so, and Xion's connection to her is a red herring to make her connection to Sora more shocking.  She's only in BBS briefly - one scene as a child and then at the very end of "Blank Points' - and not given the same amount of importance as Sora and Riku. A data version of her does not exist in Coded, even though data versions of Sora and Riku and even Namine do. As I mentioned before, she doesn't show up in 3D until the last shot of the secret ending. And in 0.2 BBS, she doesn't say anything until toward the end, and is promptly shut up and told to go train alongside her former kidnapper! What the fuck!? I honestly think the most justice done to Kairi past KH2 would be the powerful medals with her image on them in the UX mobile phone game!

This is 6 games over the course of a whole decade, and there is barely any Kairi in them at all, let alone as a playable character despite her being the series' original heroine. Worse still is that when Kairi is there, her character has been rewritten by Nomura and Oka into the weak, boring nice girl that her detractors saw her as: the fire and the passionate desire to act freely whenever she had the chance is totally gone. She just lets Sora and Riku leave her behind on the islands again after specifically saying in KH2 that she won't let that happen anymore, and despite being able to wield a Keyblade she only joins the cause when some old white dude summons her to do so! Hayden Panettiere being replaced by Alyson Stoner as her voice only adds to the effect, she just doesn't have the same spunky quality to her. 

And when Kairi isn't around? She is pretty much never talked about, or even thought about, by her supposed friends Sora and Riku. Per the sexist cliches of shonen writing and the desire to pander to the fans, the Destiny Trio became a Destiny Duo, with Sora and Riku managing just fine on their own without needing Kairi, their bromance was emphasized as the most important thing in each other's lives ad nauseam. This misogynistic brand of queer-baiting worked all too well, with fans continuing to support Sora and Riku as boyfriends while condemning Kairi as a boring, useless character who oughta just die already.

Well, Nomura sure did continue to listen to these fans...

[mothermaidenclone-blog]

Ad Astra or This Movie Was the Brad Pitts

Ad Astra was the worst movie I have paid to see since 2015’s Kill Your Friends, which is my least favourite cinema experience of all time. It was a dry and dreary story about emotionally stunted white men in a bleak and boring capitalist version of space, with jarring and superfluous Christian undertones. The plot and everyone’s motives were so non-existent that Brad Pitt had to narrate the whole thing in a monotone so flat and dead I literally screamed all the way from the cinema to the bus stop when it was over, partly out of a frustration so deep it was non-verbal, but also just to finally hear some pitch variation.

*Ad Astra spoilers follow*

There technically were women in this movie. Lots of women, particularly women of colour, occupied high ranking positions and were addressed by their titles, a touch I think is important and that usually tips the scales in favour of a good review for me. We were graced with Adjutant General Vogel (LisaGay Hamilton), Captain Lu (Freda Foh Shen), Sergeant Romano (Kimmy Shields), Tanya Pincus (Natasha Lyonne) and Lorraine Deavers (Kimberly Elise), as well as several unnamed female personnel (Kayla Adams, Elisa Perry, Sasha Compère and Mallory Low). I would like to particularly highlight Natasha Lyonne’s performance as apparently she was the only actor employed to play a human being and not a replicant. She was on screen for maybe twenty seconds, as is sadly the case with most of these women, but was a glorious breath of fresh air as the only character to simultaneously emote expressively and speak with inflection and enthusiasm. The only one! In a two hour movie!

All of these women appear to be respected and capable members of various illustrious teams, but are always outnumbered by men. There are two male generals alongside Vogel and Deavers is initially outnumbered 4:1 on her space craft by men. Tragically, whenever a team is being picked off, it is always the people of colour who die first. Not only is this obviously racist, it is just a disgusting cliché that we just don’t need to see anymore in movies. Deavers dies first when Roy (Brad Pitt) forcibly invades their vehicle, followed by Franklin Yoshida (Bobby Nish), an Asian man, and Donald Stanford (Loren Dean), a white guy, is the last to go. Roy cradles him in his arms and attempts to save his life. I hope it’s not just me that sees something wrong with the order of events there.

A similar scenario takes place in the lunar chase, which absurdly seems to occur in the same crapy looking buggies as the original moon landing, a confusing visual choice considering we’ve just seen a vast and impressive modern concrete moon base. The film takes the time to introduce us to Willie Levant (Sean Blakemore), a black officer who will be escorting Ray across the moon. As soon as we see he has a photo of his wife and child taped to his tablet screen I knew he was going to die - in the year 2019 I should not be able to predict that a black character is going to die because we saw a family photo. Can we just not anymore? Again, aside from the racism, that’s just shitty writing. I like to think that as a species, if we can conceptualise something as vast and seemingly impossible as solar travel, we can also move beyond basic and derogatory cinematic tropes.

I was most excited by the appearance of Helen Lantos (Ruth Negga), a woman of colour who occupies a position of power on Mars and introduces herself assertively using her full name. Also, her whole look was excellent. However, this brief release of serotonin was very short lived as she literally walks Roy down a corridor then is immediately cut off and superseded by a white guy with a man bun. Lantos does return later, but alas, as an exposition machine to give Roy some plot news about his dad. Even as she explains that her parents were murdered by his, Lantos falls victim to the dire, emotionless monotone that I can only assume was forced on the entire cast of this film. Then, she is an actual chauffeur and drives Ray to a manhole so he can continue his dad quest. A character brimming with original potential is presented as nothing more than a device.

The final woman to mention is the first one we see, Roy’s ex-wife Eve (Liv Tyler). We see the blurry, out of focus back of her head in the background of a shot before we see her face, and this is incredibly telling, because that’s all Eve is, the simulacrum of a woman. She could be anybody - so why she is Liv Tyler defies belief, I can only assume they held her loved ones hostage - her story is untold and entirely irrelevant. Again, she is only a device, although this time not for Roy’s forward momentum, but this time seemingly to emphasise that Roy is a total sociopath with no emotions whatsoever. We don’t learn Eve’s name for another twenty minutes, and it is an hour and twenty minutes before we hear her speak. Even then, it’s not a live conversation, because god forbid this film have too many of those, but a voice recording explaining that their relationship is over. I’m not going to lie, I’m pretty sure that’s what it was, but everything she said was so generic I have no memory of it whatsoever. She is presented as a ghost, a blurry image on a screen, a memory fixed in time, not a real person with agency and personality. At the end of the movie we finally see her in real time, and that is when she has made the unfathomable decision to meet Roy for coffee. Even her face in that moment gives no emotion away, perhaps because Tyler had no idea how to act this entirely nonsensical decision. To our knowledge, she would not have seen any change in Roy, only received news that he survived a dangerous space mission, which is apparently enough of a reason to get back with this emotionless egg of a man?

I almost didn’t want to devote words to them, but I think it’s important to address just how dire Roy and his dad H. Clifford McBride (Tommy Lee Jones) are. This is their film, they are the reason that all of these women’s stories are passed over. It is made clear over and over again that both Roy and Clifford believe they are the only people capable of completing their various missions. Roy hijacks a ship and inadvertently kills everyone on board because he thinks that it’s his destiny or whatever to get his dad back, never mind that they were all highly trained space personnel who were arguably better suited to the mission precisely because it wasn’t their dad. Clifford straight up murders his whole crew because they are too “small minded” to fly off further and further into space forever on a mission that has yet yielded absolutely no evidence of their goals. A variety of talented human beings are destroyed because of the entitlement of white men, their delusional and unshakable conviction that they are at the centre of the universe and that no one else could possibly accomplish the lofty goals that kismet apparently calls them to.

The way they speak about themselves and to each other is absolutely psychotic. Roy’s solo musings include, “The flight recorder will tell the story, but history will have to decide,” and “In the end, the son suffers the sins of the father.” Clifford imparts his son with the delightful greeting of, “There was never anything there for me, I never cared for you or your mother or your small ideas.” In addition, they both physically flinch from human contact at various points in the move. Now, I totally understand that we live in a neurodiverse world and that many people experience emotions and social interactions in any number of ways, and that is a beautiful thing that makes our world so interesting to live in. However, that these men both abjectly state that they have no empathy is presented within the context of their megalomaniacal ideals that they must accomplish their god-given quests irregardless of how many people they have to kill along the way. It is a facet of their strangely two-dimensional, arrogant and narcissistic personalities, not one part of many complex features that make a complete and relatable human being.

Roy has to literally say out loud that he is a human being at the end of the movie; “I will rely on those closest to me…I will live and love,” which makes him sound more like a learning AI trying to pass a Turing test than anything else. The music swells as Clifford throws himself towards the surface of Neptune in an orchestral deluge that is unsubtly significant in this very quiet film, as though I’m supposed to start crying and think anything other than, “well thank fuck, it’s about time this murderer dies in the cold vacuum of space, I hope Roy stays spinning and screaming here forever too.” We are supposed to feel sympathy for them as the heroes of this movie, despite the fact that they show no care for anyone else throughout the whole thing and act entirely in their own self interests.

Overall, the women in this film are given about five seconds of potential as they introduce themselves variously as decorated soldiers and otherwise capable personnel, before being shoved to the side, or murdered, for Roy. This is obviously objectionable, but is made so much worse by the fact that Roy is an emotionless, entitled, empathy-less white man who doesn’t care if other people have to die for him to get what he wants. That is what these women are being passed up in favour of. I felt like I was watching a two hour long Voight-Kampff test. Space movies like this should be about what we can achieve if we work together as a species, not about how white men will still be the kings of dreary capitalism, even on the moon. We can do better than this.

And now for some asides:

What the actual fuck was the font at the beginning? I guess a red serif all caps should have alerted me to the fact that I was about to watch a horror movie.

As a lover of space horror, I was absolutely gutted that it was a bad CG angry baboon and not a cool gross alien. Also, what was that scene? “Hmm, we need to get rid of this loser because Brad Pitt is the best at space ships and he needs to be the captain. Uhh…what about…space monkeys? Yeah! Space monkeys on a deserted Norwegian ship. That makes sense.”

Can I just have a film bout those moon pirates fighting space capitalism please? I was more invested in them that anyone else in this garbage movie.

Credit for the Bradd Pitts joke goes to the talented and lovely Ed Cheverton

[kinetic-elaboration]

November 18: Thoughts on The 100 2x07

Okay, gonna try this again with another ep. Long Into the Abyss

The last time I was watching T100 I was back at the beginning of S2 so I could remind myself of some stuff for a fic so now I’m really out of sorts.

I remember watching this ep for the first time and thinking, ‘oh, I guess Keenan isn’t going to be important, then.’ The fucked-up-ness levels of this scene are supremely underrated. Much like how they experiment on Maya--they know no shame. Also I feel like the implication is that Keenan isn’t the first person they’ve killed in this way. Does no one.... miss them? Why was there no revolt from the populace on the grounds of ‘they’re experimenting on us’ if not on the grounds of ‘they’re experimenting on these random kids’?

That Keenan was felled by rain makes me think that the rain was....dun dun dun, acid the whole time.

“Civilian check-in will take place at 0900 hours. All civilians must be accounted for by your station supervisors.” I mean first there are only two stations lol but otherwise... collecting more data for the Ark AU.

“This is not our home, it’s theirs” is SUCH a retcon and I’m still angry about it.

It makes absolutely no sense that Abby is still in charge even though the duly elected Chancellor is back in the settlement. I mean I know they’re just making shit up now but they’re not even trying.

Jaha’s faith would be more compelling if it didn’t mean randomly abandoning big chunks of his people--not just Marcus and the 48 but every other station that may or may not be out there. I guess he still sees them as a whole not as individuals or even as sub-parts. (I’d say he’s being selfish but in fact he will sacrifice himself too.)

This would have been a good time to lean even more into the 100 as a distinct people all their own. Clarke (and co.) care about the 48 than anything else. But no one else does, really; they were already thrown away.

That was the worst speech Chancellor 1 and Chancellor 2 could have given because now it’s super obvious they are not on the same page.

“The Grounders are attacking because of me” is 100% true and you should say it. People in this fandom love to hate on fuckboy Finn but the actual main characters stuck behind him right up until the bitter end lol, let’s not forget that.

Also yes Clarke’s line is stupid (”The Grounders are attacking because that’s what they do”) but.... she’s not entirely wrong that the Grounders have historically targeted them for almost no reason, over and over, since day one. So yeah they’d probably be attacking anyway. Not five minutes ago Jaha was saying they were just trying to get ‘invaders’ off their land so....yeah no one knows.

Raven’s Gate!

The Mount Weather delinquents! I love them. I love their group dynamic. I love the bizarre way Jasper is sitting, and how much faith he has in Clarke, and Monty being the voice of pessimistic reason. I do not love Monty’s hair. That is an unfortunate cut.

WE’RE CRIMINALS RIGHT SO LET’S BE CRIMINALS.

Says the boy whose crime was being a stoner.

Like tbh now that I’ve looked at the whole season from afar, trying to make it make sense for fic writing purposes, I see that this whole ep’s story line probably mostly exists just to buy some time while actual progress is made outside the Mountain but... I still love it.

Give Ricky Whittle an Emmy lol.

S2 Clarke was such peak Clarke... she’s so smart. Figuring everything out all the time.

[All Grunting]

David Miller is the true and only MVP I said what I said.

Mount Weather population: 382. You know people can give bone marrow without dying. Perhaps you could stop being so greedy and impatient.

Octavia trying to be brave and strong while looking young and scared and small is Endearing.

Totally forgot Nyko was a healer.

Or an Angel of Death lol.

I’m just going to say it. Bellamy was turned on by Clarke electrocuting Nyko.

I’m not super crazy about the Finn and Lincoln comparisons given that Finn acted of his own free will and Lincoln was turned into a cannibal.

The only scenes that really matter are the MW ones as per usual.

“Ye of little faith.”

“That’s my boy.”

I love Miller’s little thief kit omg. And Monty the Stereotypical Hacker.

“And they said we wouldn’t amount to anything.” UNDERRATED LINE.

“Abby, you cannot seriously be taking seriously the thoughts of a teenage girl we previously agreed was completely expendable lol??”

I’d say ‘why do the Grounders need such a comically large force to wipe out a tiny little enclave of scared refugees’ but of course the last time they went up against an even tinier group of refugees they got roasted, toasted, and burned to a crisp so...fair enough.

“She was Anya’s second” as in that should matter because Clarke and Anya were such good friends....?

Jaha hates not being in power so bad. Like he’s this-close from saying ‘Abby stop playing and hand over the pin to a real adult.’ Like he truly thinks she’s just fucking around and he’s entitled to the final say because...habit I guess?

Another point to Finn: if they left they would NEVER come back for the MW kids lol. What an obvious lie. Does Jaha believe his own bs??

Also someone should have pointed out that the Grounders have literally never been good faith with them. Never. Like who says that if the Ark left the Alpha Station site that the Grounders wouldn’t pursue them and kill them anyway? The delinquents abandoned the dropship site and were followed and attacked. (Am I mis-remembering or was ‘leave or die’ the offer then too?) The Ark doesn’t know how much land “belongs” to Trikru (prob because none of it does lol). Like, Jaha’s confidence that Lexa wasn’t lying to him the whole time--like every other time she opens her mouth, because almost everything she says is in fact a lie--is wildly misplaced imho.

All of that said and I completely stand by it--he’s not wrong that he’s the real Chancellor and it is ridiculous that the actual elected Chancellor has to beg the rando who just happens to have the pin to do something. Like--he is right  on the procedure but wrong on the substance is what I’m saying.

And here another example of how only the person who controls the army has real power.

Remember when Abby and Clarke had a good relationship? And it was significant and moving? Anyway another answer to ‘why are you throwing everything away on this plan’ would be ‘because it’s not a shitty plan, you’re just not hearing it out,’ or alternately ‘because we need to deserve to live as I have already said back in the pilot and walking away from MW would be morally abhorrent.’

Netflix subtitles don’t know Miller’s name lol.

MW surveillance of Alpha Station.

Honestly as soon as the stuff with the Grounders moves to the fore I just zone out. Maybe it’s because the tension is gone when you know what happens or maybe it’s because I never really believed ADC but...eh. She has a cool glove though.

They really do hammer home the idea that the MM aren’t really “alive.” Someone bring back that ‘they’re the souls in the underworld’ meta stat.

“This is our world. We deserve this.” Imo this is the hubris of the descendant of American Executive Branch survivors, the belief that, because they were chosen to live for their importance to the whole concept of America, that they now deserve not just survival but a return to that which they themselves destroyed. (I know in this universe it was some rogue AI blah blah blah--it’s more interesting if it was a nuclear war in the traditional sense in my opinion.) Dante has the other side of the argument: We are the keepers of history. The responsibility, over the entitlement. And he recognizes that this legacy is already stained, perhaps irrevocably. Is it ridiculous that he drew his line in the sand? Did he even make that decision, about the Grounders, or did his father make it? Does he think it’s okay because the Grounders are ‘savages’? Because the MM can survive without the bone marrow but not without the blood?

I’m going to be honest, I have no idea what the concept is here with saving Lincoln. Like is this real science about overdoses or just like shit made up as they went along? The only thing I got was the heart thing with the electric shock but like...unclear on the rest... is it just waiting out the detox, I guess?

The dropship has a cute tiled floor. I never noticed that.

They didn’t lie! They were just being as dramatic as possible! Griffin women specialty.

I never shipped M/inty but that was a nice moment. Love those attempts to expand Miller’s character. Also completely forgot that what Miller found was the engineering schematics.

“It’s not complicated really. We just need to keep them alive long enough for the drug to leave their system.” Okay so I was basically right. Not sure how she came to that conclusion from the fight scene but w/e.

L just strikes me as like a young person pretending to be a leader rather than like an actual leader... I’m sorry. But that’s just my read.

Anyway here she is, bad faith as always--moving the goalposts again. “You can have your truce if I get one thing”--LADY YOU GOT YOUR ONE THING THE FUCKING REAPERS HELLO. You don’t get a second thing. I mean fuck really you’re already getting two things: the Reapers and an ally in taking down the Mountain. Now you want a third thing?? No. No more things.

“The one you call Finn”--see, honestly, fake. You’re from fucking Baltimore, no one talks like this or has ever talked like this in the history of human speech.

Anyway, that was intellectually exhausting. Missed seeing my girl Maya. And even more importantly, Raven. And Bellamy had so little to do. He looked damn fine though.