#we see them get back together on the basis of their past and the fact that they both remember it

[daydreamerdrew]

New Avengers: The Reunion (2009) #1

[cobaltperun]

Eternal Flame (5) - Be Yourself

Jenna Ortega x Female Reader

Summary: For her it’s a passion, for you it’s an accident. And as she continues shining brighter and brighter with each role you are left mesmerized, drawn to her flame and cherishing every time she lets herself be vulnerable with you.

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Word count: 6.5k

-Don't lose any sleep tonight I'm sure everything will end up alright-

The feeling of your lips against her own still lingered long after you finished shooting the scene together. It was a strangely welcome feeling; light and gentle, and most importantly it just felt right. When she kissed you, as spontaneously as it was, it felt like what she was feeling wasn't one-sided, but rather something you reciprocated. She wasn’t ready for a relationship, that’s what she’s been telling herself for some time now, while she watched her former classmates getting into their relationships and going on dates and posting about them on social media. She wasn’t ready to be vulnerable and she had a career to focus on.

But how much more vulnerable could she get? After going through an actual panic attack and calming down with you by her side? She couldn’t deny how much better she felt with you there, by her side. How often have her thoughts wandered off to you over the past couple of weeks? She dared to say almost concerningly many times.

Jenna wasn't a stranger to building connections on set, just on Scream she could tell she built friendships with Melissa, Jasmin, Mason, Mikey and many others, connections that would last long after the filming ends, regardless of potentially working together in the future. Yet there was something different with the way she was around you. With you she could be free. The panic attack proved it, and while that was something she wished had never happened, looking back and thinking about it she knew that night changed your relationship permanently. You didn’t change how you viewed her, you didn’t start treating her like she was broken, or like you needed to be careful around her, you just cared for her. She could trust you with her deepest insecurities and feel safe to share them with you.

She stole a glance toward you as you walked down the hall of the hotel you were in. As usual you were calm, confident, completely relaxed and she would be lying if she said that kind of demeanor didn't affect her as well. That same calming effect you had on her during her panic attack now affected her on a regular basis, quieting her own doubts and anxious thoughts when she was with you.

“So, that was one hell of an improvisation huh?” you broke the silence with a teasing grin on your face, but she could tell you didn't mind the kiss. Well, she wasn't exactly sure you enjoyed it, after all, it was more of a peck rather than a kiss, but she well sure you didn't mind it. And now her thoughts were going off the rails once more, and she had to make a conscious effort to stop looking at your lips.

So, to regain control and quiet her mind she teased right back. “Figured I should show them that I'm comfortable around you,” Jenna answered, nudging your lightly. For a moment she hesitated, but finding confidence in how comfortable she was around you she added: “And besides, we were supposed to kiss in the movie so there was that as well.”

You laughed, and it brought a big smile to Jenna’s face as well. She absolutely was doomed, but she loved your laugh. “Yeah, yeah, we’re sure keeping it professional. Absolutely nothing else,” oh, you were teasing her, you were absolutely teasing her, and despite how close to home it hit you were in fact joking. She could see mischief in your eyes. “You would never want to kiss me if it wasn't for the movie,” and maybe she was imagining it, projecting some of her own insecurities, but she felt self-deprecation in your tone, and she despised it.

If only you knew or rather, she figured she was lucky you didn't know. At least in some ways. As much as she hated that hint of self-deprecation, she just now noticed; she figured it would be better for both of you, in more ways than one, to keep your relationship the way it was at the moment. To stay as just friends; really, really good friends that may have crossed that line a time or two, by falling asleep together. She just wasn't sure taking the next step and acting on her feelings would turn out to be a good idea when both of you were trying to focus on your careers.

Truthfully, she was just afraid to be completely exposed to you, to let you see all of her sides, the good, the bad, her insecurities, everything she was trying to hide from others. The panic attack was one thing, and being emotionally vulnerable was almost too easy with you. But the other ways? Could she let you in on all of that?

“Of course, of course I would never,” she accepted the joke, playing off of it as two of you stopped in front of her doors. “Do you want to watch another movie?” she asked tentatively, not really wanting the night to end but just shook her head.

“Maybe some other night,” she could see a hint of regret in your eyes or perhaps she was just believing she saw it. “I made plans to catch up with my friend, and knowing her it’ll last for a while,” you grinned sheepishly, explaining why you couldn't spend the night with her and easing any worries she might have formed in her head over the late hours of the night.

“Oh, I see, say hi to her for me,” Jenna told you and pulled you into a quick hug. “Sleep well, Y/N,” she whispered.

“You too,” you whispered back and you parted ways for the night.

~X~

To be honest, you were dreading the call you were about to make. It's been two weeks since you last talked to Barbara and saying she was a bit of a needy friend would be an understatement, not that you had it in you to be bothered by it, in fact you were certain a huge reason for that neediness was the way you sometimes could get. Scratch that, the way you often got these past few years. This time though, in your defense, you really were quite busy between filming and everything happening with Jenna, so this time it wasn’t your regular stupor preventing you from fulfilling your best friend duties as Barbara called them.

You took a deep breath, sucked it up, and called her as you paced around the room hoping you would not hear her yelling at you right away.

You were hoping for too much.

“Where the hell have you been?!” Barbara roared, forcing you to move the phone away from your ear and wince because of how loud she was.

“I'm sorry I was just-“ you tried to apologize and get her to stop trying to make you lose your hearing.

She wasn’t having any of it though. “No excuses! Do you know how much I worry about you, asshole?! I damn near called Hugh and I know you've been in touch with him at least through texts!” Well, she wasn't wrong, you really were in touch with Hugh, through texts, which was also the way you kept in touch with Barbara. You just didn't find the time to call her and for Barbara that was an unusual deprivation of contact and close to unforgivable.

“Barb, come on, we’ll make up for the lost time, I promise. Just two more weeks and we'll meet up and catch up and you'll tell me all the things I missed,” you assured her. You would normally get annoyed over someone being like this, almost demanding. You appreciated being left alone when you needed it, and Barbara just wouldn’t let you be on your own. Still, you really couldn't be annoyed with her. If there was anyone other than Hugh that actually knew you, it was Barbara and as much as you depended on her she depended on you just as much and now suddenly you couldn't be there for her for almost a month and a half.

And you still had two weeks until you would meet up.

“I know. I just miss being able to go to see you,” she complained, her voice turning more whiny and you knew exactly what was coming, and it brought a smile to your face. “I want to bother you and steal all your food,” she sighed as she calmed down and you could picture her just drawing lines on some paper she had lying around. That was the thing with Barbara she had short fuse but she would also calm down ridiculously fast as long as the reason behind her anger wasn't justified she was easy to talk down, especially when it came to you and even more so after what happened a few years ago.

“You'll get to raid my fridge, again,” you put great emphasis on the word ‘again’ “Don't worry about it,” you sounded annoyed but you both knew that wasn't the case. As much as you loved filming again and as much as you acknowledged the deep, precious bond with Jenna you still missed your best friend, and nothing could change that.

Barbara laughed at that. “So how are things on the set? Tell me all about it, are there any girls I should know about?” she really couldn’t help herself. Well, at least things probably couldn’t get worse. “How are things with Jenna?” you really should know better by now. There it was, the Barbara special… The teasing! The incessant need to know everything about your love life! The love life that was, granted, pretty much nonexistent before this and it was still nonexistent because there was nothing but your crush on Jenna going between the two of you.

You could still tell you made a mistake when you naively shared with Barbara that you have grown fairly fond of your co-star. Still, you sighed, there was no going back now. “I’m in trouble, Barb, I’m in deep trouble,” you sighed, accepting that you had no control over your feelings for Jenna. After all, the taste of her lips would definitely keep reminding you of the short, but sweet, kiss you shared on set for a long time, and you’d be remembering the feel of her soft lips against your own for even longer.

“Hell yeah! Get the girl Y/N!” Barbara cheered way too loudly and you just knew she was pumping her fist up in the air.

The nerve of her. “Fucking shut up,” you groaned, dropping onto your bed and resigning yourself to more teasing as Barbara laughed.

~X~

Tomorrow morning and exactly two weeks before the filming was scheduled to end you came back from breakfast to see your phone lighting up on the bedside table. So, that’s where you forgot it. You raised an eyebrow, not expecting anyone to text you this early. As far as you knew, Barbara would still be asleep, and Hugh was a few hours behind you, so it was still in the middle of the night for him. And it probably wasn't any one of your co-stars because you just saw all of them. You walked over to the bedside table and glanced at your phone and your blood immediately froze.

“I've got an event next week. I can pick you up next Saturday and bring you back to the set on Monday morning.”

You could feel your heart pounding in your chest as you looked at the message. The event, well that was one way to put it. You could feel the itching to go, the desire to just let go, to forget everything and focus on just one simple task. You've been working out for years and you didn’t stop back when filming started, you spent damn near every day at the gym for at least an hour oftentimes more. You explained it by saying you were just trying to stay in shape, especially since you still had the job at the gym to come back to and it would be irresponsible to get out of shape.

But you knew the truth.

It wasn't staying in shape. It was just the only way you knew how to escape from what you still felt deep down. So, your reply was quick, sent without much thinking, without reconsidering the short or long-term consequences of those actions, and you especially didn’t consider how something like that could affect the movie or your career. Short-term consequences were easy to deal with. Those were your days off anyway, so nothing would happen. “I'm in,” you answered and tossed the phone to your bed ready to just go to the gym. You needed to put extra effort into preparing for… the event.

~X~

Somehow there was a feeling of dread Jenna couldn't explain, a restless feeling keeping her awake and filling her with anxiety. She had a long night doing the shooting, you all did and she intended to go to sleep to spend the evening taking a nap and resting, especially seeing as her insomnia was getting worse. You helped, of course, at least as much as Jenna would let you. Every time she turned to you for help she slept better because you would either come to her room and stay with her until she fell asleep or you would just talk on the phone and she got into a comfortable with the way things were between you. Deep down she knew it couldn’t be maintained, that she couldn't rely on you every night. You needed rest as well and she felt guilty for making her insomnia your problem.

Tonight was different. Tonight it wasn't just her insomnia keeping her awake. Tonight there was that sense of dread, that sense that if she didn't do something, anything, that something awful would happen and she didn't even know what it was. She didn't know what to do, or what it was related to, she knew nothing other than the fact that something did not feel right.

So, Jenna turned in her bed, desperately trying to keep her eyes closed so she might fall asleep. It was just her being paranoid, she was sure of it. She was just overthinking things that she honestly couldn't even define. If you or Melissa asked her what was wrong she wouldn't have an answer, she would just tell you that she had a bad feeling, and it infuriated her that she was feeling like this without having a logical explanation for it.

“Fuck it!” at this rate she wasn't going to fall asleep anytime soon and it was still half past seven so she figured she could drop by your room and see if you wanted to watch a movie or something. She got up, determined to get her mind off whatever was tormenting her and picked out a rather cute red shirt and denim shorts and changed out of her pajamas. Maybe she could get you to wear your glasses for the movie, that would make the restless day better, because you, annoyingly if she could say so, still didn’t wear your glasses around her as often as she would like you to.

She didn't even send you a message as a warning, she just got out of her room and marched to your door and knocked on your doors. “One minute,” she heard you saying from behind the doors and she felt her heart beating just a bit faster, which was ridiculous because just seeing you wasn't supposed to have this kind of an effect on her. Yet here she was probably ready to just admit this was not just a crush and that she was actually in love. You opened the door and seemed to freeze when you saw her which was an unusual reaction coming from you. What was even stranger was how you looked, wearing a hoodie and worn out boots and tracksuit pants, as if you were trying to disappear in the crowd. “Jen,” you looked like a deer caught in the headlights and there was a guilty look in your eyes. That same dread that consumed Jenna entirely the whole day came back full force and she couldn't explain why.

“Hey, I was thinking if you wanted to hang out, maybe watch a movie or chill out together? Just the two of us? I mean it's fine if you don't have the time or have other plans-“ and she just noticed a backpack hanging from your shoulder, and that dread just increased for a reason she couldn’t even start to explain. Just seeing that backpack made her anxiety spike up. “Did- where are you- I mean are you going anywhere?” she stammered, now feeling unsure of herself. “You didn't mention going to see your family,” she missed the way you frowned just for a moment. “Or anyone and what's with the bag?” She was rambling not really giving you a moment to reply and worst of all the guilt on your face just became more pronounced the more she talked.

“I-“ you began but then just closed your mouth and ran your fingers through your hair. What did she just interrupt? Were you about to leave?

No, that much was obvious.

But there was something heavy in the air, something that made her worry more than she should, something deep down telling her not to back down.

“Hey, talk to me,” she reached up, almost timidly, and touched your cheek, watching as you swallowed the lump in your throat. You didn’t reject her touch, and she felt bolder, instead of just touching your cheek she began cradling it. This time she felt you flinching before you accepted her touch, leaning into it, she watched you as you took a deep breath. Your eyes were closed from the moment she touched your cheek, but even with that she could see, or feel, the battle raging within you as you struggled between staying with her and going wherever you were about to go. So, she did her best to make the decision easier for you. “Stay with me. Please, Y/N,” and as if those words were enough, as if they were all you needed to hear, you reached up and took hold of her hand and pulled her in, hugging her firmly almost desperately holding onto her shirt.

“I'm staying,” you whispered, burying your face in the crook of her neck and Jenna found herself holding on to you just as firmly as you were holding on to her. That dread she felt earlier slowly began dissipating and she didn't know what she prevented, but she just felt like it was the best decision she could have made. Especially when you definitely flinched when you heard your phone ringing. For a moment she thought you would ignore it, but you let out an exhausted, broken sigh, damn near shattering her heart. “Yeah, I need to take this. Just give me a moment,” she could feel you putting so much effort just to pull away from her and then even more effort to close the door

Despite the closed doors Jenna could still hear the bits of the conversation as she stood there, her back pressed against the wall next to your doors. The murmurs of ‘I'm not coming’ and ‘I'm not arguing with you about this, I'm not coming’ made her instinctively hug herself. She felt cold all of a sudden, where were you about to go? What did she stop you from doing?

It would take months for her to figure it out and when she did it threatened to almost ruin what you built up until that point.

You came out of the room, in different clothes, now wearing a simple shirt and pajama pants and she immediately took your hand and pulled you along to her room, afraid that if she didn’t, she would just ask you where you were about to go. She looked back and saw you smiling. The smile on your face was natural not forced at all, but she could see pain hidden deep inside you and her heart broke because she could already tell you wouldn’t talk to her about this.

~X~

The early November cold seeped into her room but that wasn't the reason why about halfway through ‘The Silence of the Lambs’ she ended up wrapping her arms around you and lowering her head on your chest. That feeling of dread may have disappeared, but another feeling took its place and the only thought running through Jenna’s mind was ‘Don't let go. No matter what, don't let go.’ So, she didn't let go, even when you're raised an eyebrow at the sudden display of affection.

You've both seen the movie before, so she didn't feel any guilt for taking your attention away from it. “Y/N,” she said your name gently, aware that she now had your undivided attention. “Where were you going to go?” she asked, softly whispering the words as if saying them any louder would scare you away and convince you not to tell her anything.

You remained silent, the image of an open honest person that captured her heart wavered for a moment and then you looked away. “Just for a walk, don't worry about it,” it was so obviously a lie, and she could see you meant for her to see through it. Nonetheless the message was clear. Don’t ask more questions. You would not answer. You would not tell her the truth even if it would chase away her worries, even if it would show her you were willing to tell her anything. You just wanted to end the conversation and the obvious lie was an easy way to show Jenna it didn’t matter how many times she asked.

“OK,” she let the conversation end, but she doesn't let go of you, she just held tighter. And despite the uneasiness of the realization she just had, she still felt comfortable. It still felt so easy to be with you, and near the end of the movie she fell asleep in your arms.

Jenna didn’t wake up until you moved underneath her and when she opened her eyes, she saw the Sun was just starting to rise. “Hey, sorry I woke you up, I should go before someone catches me here,” you said and there it was, that gentle tone of your voice, that comforting attitude you had and she just now realized it was missing all night long yesterday but somehow throughout the night you got it back.

That was a relief. “Sorry, that probably wasn't the most comfortable position to sleep in,” Jenna laughed and you grinned, just shrugging as if to tell her you were perfectly fine with a bit of discomfort. Slowly, a bit too hesitantly, she let you go and moved to lie down on her bed properly and not halfway on top of you. You sat up and stretched a bit and she watched you, tense, but more relaxed than you were while you were watching the movie last night. And you looked like you rested enough, like you slept well. By now Jenna knew exactly how you looked when you didn’t get enough sleep and it wasn’t this. It was close, you clearly had a lot on your mind last night, but you slept well, and it made her happy to know that.

All of a sudden you turned and looked at her and she could see the mix of emotions in your eyes, but before she could speak you leaned over her and caressed her cheek. Jenna’s breath hitched as she looked you in the eyes. “Y/N,” she whispered your name.

“Sorry about last night. About lying, about not telling you where I was supposed to go,” you paused, your jaw clenching as you picked words, and she gave you a moment. “I still won't tell you, it doesn't matter anyway. But thank you for stopping me,” you leaned closer and for a moment she thought you’d kiss her, and she leaned forward, only to feel just your forehead pressing against hers. Jenna swallowed the lump in her throat, her shaky breath mingling with your own. “Thank you for holding on to me,” there was so much in that line she couldn't understand, she simply didn't have all the pieces of the puzzle. Yet the raw emotion in your voice told her absolutely everything she needed to know. And right then and there she just made a decision that no matter how difficult it could possibly get that she would find a way to overcome whatever was going on with you.

She almost said she was just returning the favor, almost alluding to the night you spent with her after her panic attack. Yet again instinctual stopped her, something similar to what drove her to you last night and instead she just said: “I'll hold on to you anytime you need,” it was a ridiculous promise one that could not be maintained, and you both knew it. First of all you lived in different states, not to mention all the jobs both of you would take that would take you to the entirely different corners of the world. She could not hold you anytime you wanted or needed it. Even so the deeper promise remained, a promise that she was with you and that she planned on staying with you.

Your breath hitched but you recovered a lot quicker than Jenna did. You nodded, unable to properly put into words how much her promise meant to you, but she could tell. You reluctantly pulled away, leaving her in her room as you slipped back into your own, just to avoid anyone from the cast knowing you spent the night with Jenna in her bed.

~X~

The filming was coming to a close, just a few days were left now, almost two months you spent in North Carolina were something else. You came into this project trying to get back into acting after Logan. You began working on it feeling the pressure of Logan almost weighing you down. Yet now you were grappling with entirely different feelings. You ended up coming to the rooftop to watch the sunset on the last Monday of the filming, just soaking it all in. To think if things were just a bit different, if you left a few minutes earlier now you’d be coming back to the hotel this morning instead of waking up in your room to open Instagram messages between you and Jenna.

Jenna…

She stopped you. She was the first person to actually stop you.

“Hey there stranger,” you heard Mikey saying as she walked up to you, breaking you out of your thoughts and for a moment taking your mind off just what Jenna stopping you as easily as she did meant for you.

You pushed the thoughts further away, not wanting to be vulnerable around another person, no matter how cool Mikey was. You grinned, patting the spot next to you. “Stranger? Already?” you laughed and leaned back as she sat down on the still warm concrete rooftop.

She rolled her eyes. “Can’t say you made a strong impression,” she teased you, though you spent several weekends cooking together. Funny how your characters hated one another yet the two of you kind of clicked.

You smirked at that. “Well, not all of us can crash a bicycle,” you joked now, but the entire cast was worried when her and Jasmin crashed. Mikey took the fall harder, as her knee still ached occasionally, but she was fine.

She jokingly slapped your shoulder. “Jerk,” she looked back when the doors opened. “Hey, Jenna!”

“Oh, hey,” Jenna sounded genuinely surprised as she slowly approached you and Mikey. The headphones hung around her neck and if she was weak to seeing you wearing glasses the same could be said for you regarding her wearing headphones around her neck. There was just something about seeing her like that, and you were utterly incapable of keeping your heart from beating faster.

“Really, I’m the stranger?” you said to Mikey, causing her to snicker, but your eyes were on Jenna, and like many times before you found it hard to look away. The soft colors of the sunset made her look even more beautiful, if that was even possible.

“Did you hear anything I said?” Mikey elbowed your side, not even trying to be subtle about it.

“You’ll live, stranger,” you rolled your eyes and reached out to Jenna. “Want to join us?” you offered, hopeful, and wanting, no needing, to use the time you had left working together as well as you could.

Jenna looked at you almost a bit hesitant to accept, but eventually she focused on your outstretched hand and she grinned a bit. “What the hell,” she sat down right next to you and leaned against your side, pretty much pulling your arm around her. Your heart hammered in your chest, sure, you figured you both just got so used to being physically close between the scenes you had together and the every other time you spent close, but it still felt so damn good to be this close to her. You grinned when your eyes met. “It's a bit cold,” Jenna said she with a small and adorable blush on her face.

“Sure, that's all it is,” Mikey laughed clearly teasing Jenna. “But it is getting cold. Y/N, how about you just bring us some hot chocolate?” this time her attention turned to you and you just stared blankly. Was she really going to make you get up? Right now? When Jenna just got here?

“Seriously now? I just got comfortable, go get it yourself if you're so eager to drink it,” you rolled your eyes suddenly reminded of Barbara especially when Mikey gave you those puppy eyes that honestly looked the best on Jenna.

Fuck. You really were in trouble. And you had no right to be in it after what happened on Saturday night.

“Come on! I wanna talk to your girl!” Mikey pointed at Jenna.

“Not my girl/Not her girl!” you and Jenna denied at the same time and you hated how hot your face felt. It only got worse when Mikey smirked at the two of you.

“Really? So prove it, go bring us some hot chocolate,” you really couldn't get out of that could you? You huffed and reluctantly pulled away from Jenna. How was bringing hot chocolate going to prove anything?

Dumb excuses…

“Fine, fine, I'm going to get some hot chocolate, just stop teasing,” you grumbled and stood up. Did you and Jenna really look like there was something going on between you? You were just really good friends! Sure, you had feelings for her but nothing happened between you!

~X~

Jenna felt a bit squirmish, after all Mikey was rather perceptive and she could tell the slightly older girl was catching on to Jenna’s feelings. “There really isn't anything going on between me and Y/N,” perhaps the pout on her face was giving it away or perhaps she really was that obvious when it came to her feelings for you.

To her surprise Mikey shrugged as if she wasn’t shocked by Jenna’s denial. “Oh, I know. You wouldn't look so jealous if  the two of you were together.”

Jenna turn around so quickly she actually got a bit dizzy “I'm not-“ she quickly tried to deny it.

“Hush! I've seen how you looked at that barista flirting with Y/N, or at me just now because I was alone with her in such romantic circumstances,” yet Mikey didn’t sound even slightly offended as she showed around at the sunset and the rooftop and yeah, maybe it did seem a bit more romantic than Jenna would dare to admit. “Also, you missed how she looked at you. You're both so whipped it's almost sickeningly sweet. She looks at you like you are the center of the universe,” there were no intentions behind those words, Mikey didn’t look at you that way, she was simply saying what she noticed. Mikey was ridiculously cool and Jenna couldn't help but admire her admired bold and strong approach Mikey took to everything she was doing, but she didn’t appreciate that same approach being taken regarding her own feelings towards you.

Besides she thought she would have this conversation with Melissa if she really had to have it with anyone on the cast. “She doesn't look at me like that,” Jenna denied it as she looked down between her feet remembering how you lied to her two nights ago. You apologized, sure, but the lie remained and you never told her where you were really about to go. It really wasn’t her business or right to demand to know, but there was a part of her that believed all the moments you shared gave her the right to ask and know the answer. Would you really be looking at her the way Mikey described if you couldn't even open up to her?

“Yeah, so how come she spent so many nights with you,” Mikey asked so casually and Jenna felt like her heart was about to explode with how fast it was beating.

“What?” she managed to ask, her words barely louder than a whisper as her brain went into overdrive.

“I heard you laughing, mostly. I know there is nothing going on, but I also know you spend nights together. The walls are ridiculously thin, I'm sure Melissa knows too but I also think she knew beforehand as well,” this was Jenna’s worst nightmare. She spent weeks thinking the two of you were keeping your late night meetings a secret yet here she was, learning they weren’t so secret after all.

How did she never hear Amber or Melissa?

Oh, right. The answer was around her neck…

There were so many implications in what Mikey said Jenna felt like her overthinking mind couldn’t keep up with all of them. The walls were thin so it confirmed to Mikey and quite possibly Melissa that you have spent a lot of time with Jenna in her room. And the thin walls confirmed to Mikey, and possibly Melissa as well, that you and Jenna did not actually get together, at least in a more intimate way. Jenna couldn't remember the last time she got this red and embarrassed and desperate for the ground to swallow her whole. She never felt this exposed in her entire life.

“Sorry,” well what else was she supposed to say besides just apologize for keeping Mikey awake,

“No, it's OK. You never kept me awake, you weren't that loud. Don’t worry, I’ll keep it a secret and let you confess instead of spilling the beans to your, sorry Tara’s, guard dog,” Mikey was having too much fun with this if that shit eating grin was anything to go by.

Jenna just groaned, hoping you wouldn’t com back right away, because she wasn’t sure how she could look you in the eyes after this.

~X~

This was it. One last scene, the scene that was moved back quite a bit, actually, and the movie would be done, well, at least your part of the job.

Originally you were supposed to film this scene while Emma was still here, but when you were getting ready to film it the equipment failed somehow. You couldn't really remember what it was. Either the lighting wasn't good, or something was wrong with the camera, or something else entirely, and it was late so you just moved it to another day. And that another day just kept being pushed back and back and now here you are on the final day of the shooting Scream filming the scene where Gale calls your character to ask her why they were all coming back to Woodsboro.

“OK everyone let's wrap this movie up!” Tyler instructed as you and Jenna got in your positions, which was in the bed with Jenna acting like she was asleep on top of you with both of you embracing one another as much as the supposed wounds your characters took could allow.

And then it happened again. The scene was probably cursed or something.

“Sir,” one of men on the filming crew approached Tyler almost timidly. “The mic isn't working, I just sent Rick to get another one,” you all heard it loud and clear and the silence that engulfed the room was so loud, so consuming and ridiculous you almost laughed. There were only a handful of times in your life where the phrase ‘so quiet you could hear the pin drop’ could fit to the situation as good as it did right now. And neither you or Jenna dared to say a single word. In fact Jenna just didn't move at all and you figured you should probably follow her example so you didn't move either just closed your eyes trying to ignore the absolutes ridiculousness of this situation

At least Matt and Tyler weren't mad about it as they just began laughing about the absurdity of everything that was happening.

The room lit up and you saw people walking around keeping the set ready for the continuation but it didn't matter you barely paid attention to them. The only thing you paid attention to the was the girl in your arms.

You looked at Jenna, sleeping there, you looked at her peaceful face, at the freckles covering her cheeks, her hair, her lips, you felt the subtle squeeze of her arms around your waist and listened to the soft sound of her breathing. Her grip on you was soft and barely there but in a way unyielding and you were reminded of that night one week ago when she kept you from going to- from leaving the hotel.

You resisted the urge touch her cheek, to hold her closer, to tell her how you felt because deep down you were afraid. You had to stop going to those events. What a laughable way to call underground fighting. Unless you properly stopped you had no right to tell her anything about how you felt. As it was you were a mess, and she did not deserve to deal with that. So, you promised yourself you would just keep quiet.

When the equipment was finally fixed you barely realized about half an hour had passed and you did not want to delay the filming anymore, so you gently nudged Jenna until she woke from her slumber.

“Hey, sorry I didn't mean to fall asleep, I’ve just been tired lately,” she apologized and probably by accident snuggled closer to you.

“It's OK, you didn't miss anything,” you said, ignoring how intimate this entire thing between you and Jenna felt. You needed to fix yourself before addressing that. Nearly going and participating in a fight proved it to you.

A/N: So, this was supposed to go a bit further down the timeline, Hugh was supposed to show up, there were supposed to be talks of future projects, and set up Reader meeting Jenna’s family, but you know what, I think this is a good cliffhanger. And it was still longer than 6k, so, there’s that.

Taglist: @lilbitdepressed27 @freakshow2501 @osnapitzmel1 @belatrixdragon @ijustlovemaths

@niqmandu @justspance @mirage018

Masterlist / First Part / Previous part / Next Part

[bugmomwrites]

Weary

Dr Flug x Reader

Stealing my sister’s bf’s HBO password is the second best thing I’ve done this week. Whipping up a solid drabble in 30 minutes and refining it into a whole oneshot in the same night takes first place.

There’s like, one innuendo towards the end but everything else is straight up fluff. Story came to me after reading yet another shady thing a certain airline I won’t name did, but it sounds like “we ain’t going”. I am changing the names so I don’t end up dead in a van somewhere, but if you know you know ;)

—•• •—• ••—• •—•• ••— ——•

“…And then what happened?”, Flug yawns, looking up at you through his goggles. You smile gently, kissing the front of the bag where his forehead would be.

“Well, according to some sources…the former production and safety manager’s exact words were ‘if anything happens, I didn’t do it myself’,” you respond, reading the article off your phone. Using the same soft voice you use when you read picture books to a sleepy 505, except it was a news article turned Wikipedia rabbit hole.

You two had gone from listening to him explain the differences between a 767 and an Airvan, to him resting his bagged head in your lap as you click on various entries and articles, bouncing information back and forth. The person, a known whistleblower who had retired from the controversial airline a few years ago, had tried many a time to draw attention to the company’s shady practices. For him to die so suddenly, especially as more inside secrets came to light, was too fishy for the public to ignore.

“I’m no detective, but…”

“Assassination?”, you finished for him, raising a brow. The two of you exchanged knowing looks.

“Does the Dreamweaver have flexible wings?”, he grumbles, wrapping his arms around your waist to bury his head further into your tummy. It tickles, but you try not to laugh lest you disturb his rare peace. Moments like these didn’t happen often, and you knew if any of the others were to see you like this, Black Hat would tear you both a new one, and Demencia would never let you hear the end of it.

A few more minutes go by, occasionally filled in with fun facts about the company’s various other incidents that had made the news in the past. You click off of yet another one where a plane was literally falling apart mid-air, having to make an emergency landing in a massive blaze. That was enough internet for today, at this rate you’d never want to hop in a plane again. You carefully set your phone to the side after checking the time.

“If I were him, I wouldn’t have let them get me.”

“I know, Flug.”

“And I would have documented everything.”

“Mhm”, you rest a hand on his back, your own eyes growing heavy.

“I’d go down there and put them back together myself. I’d personally take all of their shitty scrap parts, and make a better airplane than any of those so called professionals,” he says disdainfully.

You smile as he heaves a long sigh, like the weight of the world rests upon his weary shoulders; which isn’t far from the truth, if the way Black Hat nags him and Demencia torments him on a regular basis is any indication. Not to mention raising a son/care bear/science experiment through it all. But even if it’s not quite the whole earth, at the very least it’s the whole company. Everybody ought to give him more credit, himself included.

“If anybody could do such a thing, I know it’d be you, Flug. You’ve always had a brilliant mind.” He hums softly at the praise, feeling quite chuffed to know that at least someone in the manor besides his own son appreciated him not just for all he does, but who he is.

It’s quiet again for a few moments as he drifts in and out of consciousness, your hand gently rubbing his back until he speaks up again a few minutes later.

“And I’ll make you my co-pilot.”

This takes you by surprise, the hand rubbing his back stopping briefly as you let the words settle over the two of you. Reading between the lines was something you found yourself doing almost as often as reading his expression through his paper bag, the man still not quite comfortable enough to outright say all the things he’d had bouncing around in his head to you just yet. Your hand resumes as you test the waters, stuck between delicate hope and fear of possibly scaring him off.

“I…don’t know how to fly a plane. Nor do I have a pilots license.”

“Me neither, but I’ll show you how to do it in the cockpit. I’ll make sure you have a smooth ride for your first time.”

A pregnant pause falls over the both of you, and your whole face heats up, mind processing his words only to take a nosedive into the gutter. You open your mouth to respond only to be met with quiet snores from below, Flug blissfully unaware of the effect of his words.

‘Looks like the week finally caught up to him’, you think. Odds are he might not remember something like that when he woke up, but you could tease him about it later on. For now, you stretch your arms over your head and attempt to make yourself as comfy as possible without disturbing him, sleep beginning to overtake you as well. You glance down once more to where he dozes peacefully for the first time in years, committing it to memory before joining him in slumber.

“Buenas noches, Flug.”

—•• •—• ••—• •—•• ••— ——•

[heaven-s-black-box]

Notes- Sunshine Neuvillette & more x gn!reader

Return to File

Recovery date: October 11th, 2024

Description: hello again to my favourite writer! im thinking about headcanons with the boys with a s/o who's like emu in project sekai, and she's js a super energetic bundle of cheerful energy if u want a summary! for the boys uh maybe neuvillette, al haitham, xiao, kazuha, wanderer and heizou? if its too much u can take some out!

-⭐️ anon

Notes: This work was recovered in conjunction with researcher ⭐️, we thank them for their contributions. So, I had to look this character up. The first headcanon on all of them is my initial thoughts based off your request, and then everything else is based off her fandom wiki page!

Back to directory

Neuvillette

Initial thought, he’s used to Furina and her persona of Focalors so it’s not really new to him

Despite what he thinks, he’s gotten very good at human emotions

But he does write a letter to Sigewinne for how to help you, and she pulls through by suggesting he cooks for you

He wants you to rely on him like everyone can rely on you

You’re intuition on peoples sincerity is really useful

He looks at cases so critically, but you’re willing to believe the accused and sometimes you point things out that he missed

Especially now without the Oratrice, he has to be extra careful when examining everything

You’re smart, he definitely goes to you for help about humans and cases

Al Haitham

Initial thought, you must be really smart or really good at returning his snark for him to handle your energeticness on a daily basis

He’ll warn you about being too naive, just because something sounds like a great idea doesn’t mean it is

He has come to your rescue a few times, like when you went into the dessert and thought one water bottle would be enough

When he notices you bottling things up, he gifts you journal

He won’t make you talk about your feelings, in fact he prefers it this way, but he hates seeing the negativity eat away at you

No notes on your emotional intuition, though he thinks it’s a useful skill

Hey! Wiki says Emu is really smart

This is why Al Haitham can live with your energetic personality, just don’t expect him to match you

Xiao

Initial thought, baffled by how positive and energetic you are but doesn’t hate it

You have called him on multiple occasions when you’ve gotten yourself in trouble

He wishes you weren’t quite so naive, he’s saved you from hilichurls a few times because you didn’t realize they’d spot you trying to slip past

He’s really bad with feelings but, he’s there for you if you need him

To him, your negative feelings seem to eat at you the same way his karmic debt eats at him

So he tries to help

Glad you have such good emotional intuition, he’s horrible with them

No thoughts on your intellect, it doesn’t really affect anything with him

Kazuha

Initial thought, he finds it inspiring for his poems and stuff and while he doesn’t have quite as much energy as you he’s happy to meet your cheeriness

Always happy to help you with your plans and make sure they’re reasonable, you don’t usually get to the point he has to save you

Encourages you to let out your negative emotions, bottling things up isn’t good

Sometimes you write poems together, and sometimes he just listens to you

Your emotional intuition amazes him

He’s always thought he was good at reading people, but you don’t even need to see the person

Likes having intellectual conversations with you

Be it literary discussions or more stem inclined

Wanderer

Initial thought, like Al Haitham you must have something else going really strong for you because you are a beacon of attention and he actively avoids everyone

Indulges your naivety because you have to learn somehow, but he doesn’t let you get hurt

Like that time you miss judged the trek to Avidya forest

Connecting with emotions is part of his reformation, so he tries to help you

Especially if those emotions have to deal with abandonment or grief

Honestly, his response to most things being “murder” makes you laugh and he’s glad

He hates that you can see through his nonchalant act right from the get go, the words just don’t match the look in his eyes

You make writing papers easier because you raise counterarguments for him

Heizou

Initial thought, like Kazuha he finds you inspiring but on more of a personal level and has use you to distract criminals

Acts on your impulsive plans together, if you fall you fall together

Plus he can protect you in a dangerous situation

As a detective, he’s the first to notice your smile no longer reaching your eyes

So he uses interrogation techniques to get you to confess

And by that I mean he discreetly leads you into telling him what’s up, no torture required

You make interrogations so easy, he’s good at catching liars but you’re better at telling when people are hiding something

Also he’s baffled when you tell him Itto isn’t acting and really is that happy go lucky

Loves that he can match wits with you, puzzles are a fun pass-time of yours

[artheresy]

I can’t stay quiet about this, I need to scream it to SOMEBODY ANYBODYYY

Dan Heng and Blade were Dan Feng and Yingxing. “Dh and Bld are Df and Yx!” Nope, their current selves aren’t them, that lacks nuance. “Dh and Bld aren’t Df and Yx!” THAT ALSO LACKS NUANCEE they are still connected and fundamentally shaped by their past identities, they aren’t entirely separate from them while also still being separate in a way. The best way I can describe it is like a venn diagram, there is overlap, but there also are still areas where they don’t.

To expand more, I wanna talk about the way they foil each other a bit in this sense. For Dan Heng, even if he is a botched rebirth, simply a “de-aged Dan Feng” not fully reborn, he is still not Dan Feng. While Dan Feng has made up the basis of his personality and he accepts him as his past, I think we forget that Dan Heng had his own entire childhood after the molting rebirth was completed. One he spent imprisoned by the Ten Lords Commission, and then he was exiled when he was old enough leading to his whole journey until he became apart of the Astral Express crew etc etc. Dan Heng is made up of a basis of Dan Feng + All of his own memories and experiences. While he shares traits with Dan Feng such as personality aspects like his stubbornness, his technique with a spear, and being able to connect with his old items, he also is very much himself with his own outlook and traits shaped by what he’s learned rather than what he has been born with. To treat him as if he is Dan Feng exactly is a disservice to both of their characters and the greater narrative that they apart of. He may still carry the burdens and karma of Dan Feng, but Dan Heng is still making his own future.

Now, Blade. Blade similarly is not Yingxing, not completely. Though he accepts Yingxing’s sin as his own and is intent of repaying the sin of Dan Feng and Yingxing (and getting Dan Heng to repay it too), there still are distinctions between him and Yingxing. In fact, I’d argue there are more things separating them. I could talk for so long again about the layered use of craftsmanship to connect, or rather disconnect, the two identities of Blade and Yingxing, but there’s more than that. “Now, ██ had died. His first — and only — death.” “From this moment on, that body will be the one and only "Blade."” Although Blade was Yingxing, a disconnect exists between them through the death of Yingxing. He awoke with no memories of his past, no even his name, until Jingliu came along, instilled in him her ideologies, made him remember, not only his past sins but the feeling of death so that he might inflict it onto others. As she said, he was reborn and had even given himself a name…

I want to add that the specific ways in which their current identities exist in proximity to their past ones foil each other. As I said, Dan Heng, in part as his sabotaged rebirth, is built upon the foundation of Dan Feng and all of his own experiences and memories. He has the capacity to gain back more memories of Dan Feng as his DH IL character stories outline, and though he is still himself and still moves forward, we see him accept his relation to Dan Feng eventually. Though that past life of his is clouded by fog and mist, he may eventually be able to push away the clouds that block him and understand more, about Dan Feng and in turn about himself. With Blade, it is so heavily emphasized in game from his relic lore to the very sword he uses that his mind is essentially broken, due both in part to the trauma of Jingliu’s “teachings” and the mara that was brought on by those lessons. He can’t fully remember everything about Yingxing, in fact actively remembering such or seeing familiar things is harmful to him. Like his shard sword, he is made of broken pieces, put together in a way that can never erase the cracks, and continuously shattering before being glued together again. His life is shaped by Yingxing’s past, the trauma he has endured is directly caused by his past actions. Unlike Dan Heng, he hasn’t had this whole life to build up and live. Though he’s experienced new things, they don’t shape him and change him in the way that Dan Heng’s built his identity up.

Where Dan Heng basically has supplements to Dan Feng’s identity that make him who he is, Blade is the broken shards and pieces of Yingxing that weren’t lost to the waves, making him who he is. Dan Heng is a next chance, finally free from the Preceptors’ control and of the role that stripped his past selves of their individuality, meanwhile Blade is the husk left behind of Yingxing’s regrets, broken by trauma caused due to Yingxing’s past actions, forever tormented by his past until he inevitably is able to die. If Dan Heng is more than just Dan Feng which is why he is separate but intertwined with him, than Blade is less than Yingxing, in a way that has caused such a severe disconnect that has caused Blade to have his own identity still shaped. And looking at this, not to again bring up my craftsmanship post about Blade, Dan Heng can connect to Dan Feng. He can clear the fog, remembering his memories through dreams even if he can’t fully connect emotionally to him, and he finds sentiment in many of items that once were his, smth not many Vidyadhara actually are capable of doing. To contrast, Blade is forever separated from connecting completely to Yingxing’s identity. His memories will always be fragmented, his own path entirely changed. He can’t connect to Yingxing’s past goals and passions, seen through the distinct decision made in his character stories to talk about how he can no longer use his hands to forge weapons (something that completely defined Yingxing’s life and legacy, tied to his childhood trauma and hatred of the Abundance, something that became his genuine passion), and how none of that mattered to Blade.

All of this, the ways they foil each other and the separation between their past selves and current, just makes me love their dynamic and their lore a lot. Makes me want to cry most days of my life if I’m honest. And it’s part of why I do take issue with the way nuance has completely left this argument, only having two extremes of “Dan Heng is Dan Feng!” Or “Dan Heng isn’t Dan Heng!” Again… Dan Heng WAS Dan Feng, he wouldn’t be Dan Heng without Dan Feng, but he is still himself. That’s part of the tragedy between them. They are still fundamentally defined and shaped by their past selves, similarities able to be spotted if they can be remembered, but they’ve also experienced so much that has changed them, and they can never truly go back to being Dan Feng and Yingxing. It would never be fully the same again.

[whatthebodygraspsnot]

Do you still think you’d share how to comment on explicit fics? 👉🏻👈🏻 I just think that would be so great and helpful! Either way, I love the way you write so much!

ah yeah! okay Disclaimer: this is not universal or exhaustive and no one has to do any of this shit at all if it's not their vibe. this is just what i found works for me when im leaving a comment, and also the kinds of things i eat up with a spoon when other people comment on my stuff.

it can feel a little iffy and vulnerable sometimes when you're trying to comment on explicit fic, especially if it's extra juicy and especially if the author is someone you might not interact with. so i'm gonna break this up into two categories. Commenting On SFW But Still Sexy Aspects, and Commenting on NSFW Aspects. then i'll break down some options and give examples :) you can pick and choose however many works for you on a fic-to-fic basis.

SFW But Still Sexy Aspects

Character Behavior Changes - Example: i find it so interesting how A starts out so cocky and like he's about to lead everything, and then the second B starts touching him, he gets all nervous.

Setting/Atmosphere - Example: the fact that this is all happening in an alleyway adds to the grittiness in such an effective way - i love it! - Example: you described the mansion's details so well that i felt like i was there having a drink with them, watching them make eyes at each other! super hot!

Juicy Plot Points/Motivations - Example: knowing there's years of sexual tension between them makes this so yummy to read. glad you included the buildup! i was reading as fast as i could so i could get to the satisfaction of them finally getting together <3 and you did not disappoint!

Pointing Out Callbacks To Previous Chapters (If Chaptered) - Example: "line copy/pasted from this chapter" ah! okay i guess there was a reason for him doing XYZ in the last chapter lol - Example: i love that we're here now. i never would have guessed this would be happening between them when i started reading but damn does it feel so good.

NSFW Aspects

Pro Tip: use quotes from the fic! it helps you! it shows the author exact parts that worked! it's fun for everyone :D

Dialogue - Example: "dialogue copy/pasted from fic" oh my god i can hear this in their voice so clearly! - Example: "dialogue copy/pasted from fic" okay tbh i never thought i'd hear them say something like this, but the way you framed it and built up to it works so well! - Example: "dialogue copy/pasted from fic" this would've worked on me too tbh

A Particular Move/Position - Example (mild): B flipping A over and taking control was soooo hot - Example (medium): B going down on A was so hot - i love how into it they both were - Example (hot): B going down on A was so hot - i love how A couldn't help but cum so quickly with how nasty B was being <3

Anything That Got A Physical Reaction Out Of You - Example: "line copy/pasted from fic" wow this made my tummy swoop! - Example: the overall build up in this scene is so good i was sweating! / i'm fanning myself! / omg i need a cold shower lol

Kinks/Tropes - Example: i've never read this kink/trope before but i love your other work so i decided to give it a shot! - Example: i lovvve this kink/trope and you nailed it! especially the parts with XYZ.

Just Kidding Here's A Third Category: Miscellaneous

Excitement About New Fic - Example: omg i saw the notification and came RUNNING - Example: when i read the tags i started sweating. knew immediately that you were going to put me on my ass

Relating Back To Other Works From The Author - Example: This reminds me of your other fic 'Fic Title'! really loved the tension in that one too - i'm glad we get to see some more!

Hit Em With The Ol' Emojis + Gratitude - Example: 🥵🥵🥵 thank you for sharing!

What Happens After You Close The Tab? - Example: i'll be thinking about this one for a long long time wow! - Example: i've been thinking about the last chapter since i read it. this fic has me in a chokehold! - Example: reading this for a second time! just as hot as the first!

in summary, most authors i know cherish comments like you wouldn't fucking believe! so follow your horny little heart and know that they're ecstatic that you took the time to leave one <3

and if all else fails, you can never go wrong with a good copy/paste of a line that you specifically liked + why you liked it!

[twopoppies]

To piggyback off your journalist anon…as a current journalist of more than 10 years, I have to call BS. Maybe that’s how things are in the entertainment journalism space, but it’s patently false elsewhere. To write without a basis in truth would be a violation of ethics. In fact, it’s on us to prove that we have enough backing to say what we say. That’s the point of attributions. And when you don’t have attributions, you better be confident that what you’re putting down isn’t going to get you sued and that you have some kind of proof, whether that’s notes, pictures, data, etc. It’s encouraged of journalists to save their interview tapes in the face of any potential accusation that what was written was not said. It’s dangerous to suggest a true journalist would make things up just for the hell of it, especially in the current climate.

Now you will see outlets aggregate quotes from different sources and paste them together indiscriminately. But most of the time the outlets doing that are not the ones tasked with actually reporting the truth and keeping the citizenry informed of what’s going on in the world. As always, check your sources!

That said, as a journalist, you have to be wary of your subjects and their motives. They don’t always have the best intentions, or they may not always be able to share whole truths. That’s the distinction we need to be clear about. As a journalist, it’s important to note that a subject actually said something, because that’s our way of putting the onus on the subject to represent themselves accurately. We report on what’s been said to us. We do all the research we can to ensure we’re not hoodwinking our audience. And then we publish.

And yes it’s true we don’t give any PR machines prior approval of articles. That would be a breach of our journalistic integrity. Our job is to report, not be hand-fed information from someone whose job it is to put a positive spin on things.

Hi, darling. Thank you so much for this. My impression from the previous anon was that they were talking about gossip and entertainment media (like People magazine or the Sun. Maybe even an outlet like Rolling Stone). But I would hope a journalist reporting on more important topics is doing the sort of things you say.

What I’ve heard from others is that there’s a fine line in celebrity reporting where a journalist wants to tell the truth as they see it, but (as you said) the subject may not be telling the whole truth, or they are concerned about no longer having access to the artist or others under the same label if they don’t follow the “suggested narrative.”

I suppose there’s a little give and take either way.

But I really appreciate your perspective! And thank you for the lovely compliment. I’m touched you check in here to catch up. 🩷

In reference to this

[whooiew]

Hi! I'm very curious about what is the basis of the Kafsant ship? Just cause cute?

Hello! I actually have a full script for this one question!

I'll separate them into different bits depending on how interested you are in learning more

They both came from a pretty fucked up past Kafka needing to fight tooth and nail to survive on the Columbian streets Snowsant with POVERTY and RACISM They both also have a fondness for braids Kafka is all street smarts and 0 books smarts While Snowsant is all books smarts (a literaly prodigy engineer) and 0 street smarts (extremely obvious in her operator records) Snowsant is anxious and worries a lot about the future (not anymore since So Long Adele, she has more self confidence now, we love to see it) Kafka is more of a living in the moment kinda girl And most importantly, the part that slam jams this ship together in the first place Snowsant is a place of comfort and reliability that the operators can rely on She's extremely genuine and pure of heart Kafka desperately needs a place of comfort and reliability in her life, and is magnitized to people who she sees as genuine, cause she just, wants someone that she can trust

And from here we'll be going into the DETAILS (1257 words ahead, might get sexual towards the end)

Kafka has absolutely no idea what love is like, in fact she's completely avoiding it most of the time due to her past but due to the nurture and nature dillema of Kafka

She actually greatly yearns for any sort of connection, as shown in her operator records featuring Silence Her Module featuring Silence Her Operator files featuring Rhodes Island treating them extremely well, as shown in Pinecone's Operator Records and Kafka's Files where she takes cares of the children and actively makes gifts for the Mansfield crew Snowsant on the other hand we don't really have any idea how she's like in terms of the concept of love, but if the liberi trend is anything to go by she'll be pretty intimate with it, making Kafka the one outlier whom's actively avoiding it

And I have a concept on how they've met actually

In case you didn't know, Kafka's basically Arknight's version of Robin Hood, she runs around stealing and stabbing people on the streets of Columbia but she still has a heart of gold and really only shanks those that deserves it, if they don't she'll just steal it, and she also looks out for her fellow hobos despite everything

IN Kafka's operator records, towards the end it was shown that Silence has met Kafka before actually

Back when Kafka stole Silence's breakfast and passes it along to a homeless child before running off, she also paid Silence of course, leaving her with a single coin (we'll come back to the coin part in a bit for brain rot) Now how does this tie to Snowsant you may wonder Snowsant's a Lungmen character isn't she? She's from Lungmen, how would she have met a Columbian WELL MY DEAR READER SNOWSANT'S BEEN TO COLUMBIA BEFORE!

Using her painfully saved up money and her winnings at Lungmen's Invention Competition, she moved to Columbia to further her studies to be the most EPIC ENGINEER EVER

But life for our little Snowsant isn't that good in Columbia

Being a Lungman Citizen she got hit with a good dose of RACISM, her social standing doesn't help either, causing her to not be treated that kindly throughout her stay there

If you've read So Long Adele, you should know that Snowsant cried herself to sleep over the prices of writing letters there

She was not well off in Columbia at all Now she actually made something FUCKING AMAZING, ABSOLUTELY REVOLUTIONARY, but due to her ZERO STREET SMARTS, she didn't copyright it, it got stolen, and the thieves made BANK with HER CREATION, ASSHOLES

Least to say poor Snowsant was fucking dying at this point

Now that's when our favorite corvid comes along, KAFKA, OUR ROBIN HOOD, she descends from the heavens to provide food and stuff whenever she can to Snowsant cause Snowsant's her fellow hobo at this point basically And of course eventually Snowsant goes back to Lungmen and stuff yadda yadda BUT EVENTUALLY, Snowsant and Kafka met back up on Rhodes again

Snowsant's of course very thankful and stuff, and from there on they sorta just hang out more cause Kafka's like, omg a fellow street kid YOOOOOO

So Kafka pays more attention in terms of taking care of Snowsant, which causes Snowsant to think Kafka might have feelings for her, after a bit eventually Snowsant drags her on a date and something something, oh hey maybe Kafka likes her too and she'll have to be forced to confront to the idea of it causing her to explode into a mess of feathers

As a result who knows Snowsant might think she did something wrong due to how she is as a a character and now its a MESS OH NO, eventually Kafka will have to get through to her feelings and confront it and YIPPEE YURI Apart from that I just think they'd be really cute with each other, they bounce off each other's flaws really well, like, Kafka's infinite confidence and gusto countering Snowsant's sheer lack of it

And Snowsant just being a general safe zone for Kafka to let her guard down around, because Snowsant's never really hiding anything, she's always genuine

Which is something Kafka really likes. ALSO THEY HAVE THE SAME LIBERI TRAIT OF SIDE HAIR FEATHERS And that's pretty much the basics

So now that we've gone over express details on how Snowsant and Kafka are like as characters I'ma explain a bit more about them Snowsant is a pure of heart girl, your average goodie two shoes, she's a prodigy genius, she has an insane amount of mental endurance, being able to go through failure after failure but despite it all still being able to keep her head up high and continue moving forward

She cares for her family greatly, family is extremely important to her in fact, hell a good amount of her paycheck gets sent back to her family even

But all of that comes with a price, she's still slightly anxious about things, doesn't really take care of herself, and has a nasty habit of, zoning in too much (this will be discussed further later)

Kafka on the other hand, on the surface may seem like an annoying piece of shit, but once you get to know her she actually has a heart of gold, becoming Rhodes Island's invisible guardian angle in a sense, looking out for her fellow operators whenever wherever

She also has a fondness for kids as she visits them often and even makes gifts for them

Speaking of gift making, Kafka is an avid tinkerer and arts and crafts nerd

And of course can't forget, harboring of PLANT AUTISM

But yeah, she cares for people greatly, especially ones that's close to her

Be it anyone from the Mansfield Crew Silence Ifrit (implied) You the Doctor She's the peak of Liberi, with how Liberi characters are usually very caring about their relationships, be it their S/O or their friends and family, they care greatly for them Fitting for Kafka because she's a Jackdaw! Jackdaws immensely loyal to their partners and will pretty much never leave one once they find one all that aside, I just think these 2 would be really sweet and they'd just be happy to have someone that they can lean on especially Kafka

(This is where the sexual parts are: )

There's also the side to Snowsant where she actually surprisingly dominant

Which unironically fits how White Eared Pheasants are like

I've always made Snowsant the more assertive one, and more recent Snowsant content supports that fact

There's some parts to Snowsant, small parts, but pieced together it shows a bigger picture and I'd say Snowsant does have a dominant side to her but she keeps it in check It'll only really come out when she's in the mood and zone for it, specifically when she starts zoning stuff out again Like damn yeah she'd definitely tie Kafka up and whisper sensually into her ears while teasing her

The whole zoning out thing I've explored a bit more when writing a specific short fic but it was shown officially in her operator records where Snowsant completely zoned out everything around her when she got caught thinking about how to pay for her book publishing fee, completely zoning out the fact that Closure was telling her that Doc and Closure already paid for it

Which fits into white eared pheasants being usually pretty reserved when it comes to the act of sex until a switch flips on and they go into a breeding frenzy

Also Snowsant's fucking RICH NOW BABY YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[minaramen]

Momo - 16 Idol Album - Part 3:  If I am with my loved one

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

[Disclaimer: I’m NOT a professional translator. I’m using my knowledge from 4 years of university. Please, feel free to let me know if you notice  mistranslation/typo/error of any kind]    

***

Momo: Once I entered elementary school I started having football training very early in the morning, so I couldn’t go to radio calisthenics with my sister anymore

Momo: That must be the reason why, whenever I try to think about the past, all that comes to mind is about those days

Momo: Also, if we were so good to attend everyday, my dad would reward us with delicious juice!

Momo: While rubbing the sleep out of my eyes, I used to hold my sister’s hand and go to the calisthenics exercise together

Yuki:... You have a good sister, don’t you? Despite being little children, you really sympathised with each other

Yuki:...however…

Momo: W-what…?

Yuki: You’re always the same. You never really changed

Momo: Uh…because I always wanted to handle the situation by myself?

Yuki: Correct. But, well…I can’t say I don’t like this side of you as well

Yuki: Because not everyone can do it. There are millions of people out here who say they’re the loveliest in the world and it’s just fine-sounding talk

Yuki: However you, Momo, spring right into action for other people’s sake. And you do it in a wonderful, cool, proud way.

Momo: …Yuki….

Yuki: That said, I can’t forgive the fact you never talk to me

Momo: Yes… 

Yuki: I don’t want to be misunderstood, so I’m going to say it properly. I mean that I want you to share your pain and your struggles with me. That’s what a partner does, isn’t it?

Momo:...! Yes…! Yuki…! Your handsomeness level increased lately…! 

Momo: You even talked properly in order to avoid misunderstandings…

Yuki: Yes. I’m learning a lot

Momo: Ahah… well, I think I’m getting to like myself more lately

Momo: I caused you a lot of trouble, but I could protect people who are important to me and I’m having an optimistic talk with you, my special person, while sharing that*

Momo: Back then even if I could protect people, I couldn’t share anything with them

Yuki: …not even with your sister?

Momo: I just couldn’t. Maybe because she was family

Yuki: How are things going, lately? Are you in contact with her?

Momo: Ah, yes! We have a good relationship. But we both work, so there aren’t many chances we can meet

Momo: She sent me her feedback on what she watches on TV and opinions on Re:vale new songs

Momo: She even tells me the exact second of a scene from an anime she enjoyed the most

Yuki: I see. I’d like to meet her again, it’s been a while

Momo: Ahah! So you want to meet my sister on a regular basis!

Yuki: I just want to see your face when you're together with your sister. Sometime I want to taste your little brother’s face, and the Momose aura you had when we first met

Momo: S-so that’s what you think about when you look at us! It’s pretty embarrassing…!

Yuki: I don’t think I’d have the chance to see you being taken by the hand with a sleepy face, unless you’re with Ruri san

Momo: I’m not that much of a sleepyhead anymore! My name isn’t  “Yuki”...

Yuki: I was not like that years ago. I was the kind of child who would have gone to the radio calisthenics with a high spirit

Momo: What? You’re kidding 

Yuki:  I am

Momo: You scared me…! It’s heartbreaking when a handsome man lies as soon as he opens his mouth…

Momo: You’ve never done anything like radio calisthenics in your life, right?

Yuki: I haven’t. I don’t think I even knew there were something like that in the neighborhood

Momo: Well, if you’d have gone to the radio calisthenics you would have been just like you are when you’re on the stage, and everybody would be instantly thrown into an uproar

Momo: The old men who were playing gateball would have focused all their attention on you, and the old women as well, and all the children in the nearabouts too! And it wouldn’t have been radio calisthenics anymore. Definitely too dangerous…

Yuki: Radio calisthenics has such performance-oriented movements?

Momo: Uhm, well… actually, the way your arms go from around the waist to above may be considered a little scenographic…?

Yuki: Like this…?

Momo: Yeah! You’re good!

Momo: Fufu… ahahah! Ah, if only I was a Yuki… a Yukito kun’s neighbor, I would have taken you by hand and walked to the radio calisthenics together

Yuki: Is it okay to sleep on the park bench?

Momo: N-not at all…! We’re supposed to do it together! And then we could have a tasty juice once we’re done

Yuki: Isn’t radio calisthenics a children's activity?

Momo: It’s not only for children! There were also old men doing it

Yuki:.... then, when we’re old men, you’ll take me by hand and bring me to radio calisthenics

Yuki: You couldn’t do it in the past, but if you  get challenged in the future you can do it

Momo: I see… you’re right..!

Momo: I can do everything I couldn’t in the past, if I don’t give up and think I can succeed

Momo: Thank you, Yuki. If you’re by my side, I’ll get to like myself and become stronger

The end

* I’ve found this sentence really hard to translate into English, so if you find a better way to translate it  please let me know 

[ratwars]

thoughts on fyokuchi (fyodor/fukuchi)?

Before we knew anything about Fukuchi's end goal, Fyodor's age, or any of that I always thought that there was potential there for them to have had some sort of close interactions or at least be "in on something" together that the rest of the Decay wasn't.

For multiple reasons (at the time) first of all Fukuchi seemed to be either driving the ship, or if their goals turned out to be truly in conflict of each other, at least the type of person that could be seen in a positive light by Fyodor. My reasoning for this was just thinking that despite the mess that is the DoA, there had to be something there that Fyodor respected, found interesting, etc. To work with Fukuchi. Obviously a lot of this is all turned on it's head now but that was my thoughts with them back then. The other reason I figured they had some potential for *off screen interactions* in the past was the length of time these plans were being put into motion, and the complexity of them. I liked to imagine Fukuchi and Fyodor being the founders of the Decay (potentially with Fyodor thinking he was truly in charge and Fukuchi thinking the opposite) and hashing out their schemes together over drinks and then bringing Nikolai into the fold later. (And then Fukuchi providing Bram, and Fyodor providing Sigma).

That brought up the question of "how the fuck did these two even meet?" which also in my mind involved them speaking more one on one. I never really thought more beyond this myself when it came to how they met though. But I did see a few things other people came up with that I did like, some having more to do with shipping some not. I can't remember which was which but there were a couple posts and some comic style art too. One idea was centered around the "wait, how the fuck old *is* Fyodor even?" question that existed before we had any kind of confirmation or were close to having one. And that was Fukuchi running across a (immortal or super old) Fyodor during the war and Fukuchi trying to help him from serious injuries and them speaking more and bonding from that moment. Also Fukuchi being immediately charmed by Fyodor. But it still was like, scheming Fyodor I think, as in he got found like that on purpose. I'm so sorry I can't remember where this came from, and I may have mixed this person's idea up, but I just know it 100% was not originally mine lol. Another was just Fyodor finding Fukuchi charming and that coupled with a shared world view (not the case now I know this is still older stuff) building the basis for them being more comfortable with each other and just vibing well.

Anyways now alot of that is obviously completely unrealistic if you don't take into account Fyodor's manipulation of Fukuchi and how shit went down. But eh, developing stories can be like that so in my mind dumping canon out the window is always an option. I sure af did it when everything was actively falling apart with the DoA and I was writing various other members lol.

In terms of a ship I think the fact they have an age gap in the opposite direction I would have thought earlier on is absolutely hillarious, Fukuchi is not the old man at all in comparison really like "who are you calling old man?" he can pull that out and it isn't wrong lol. I still wish the DoA had turned out to be a bit of a more cohesive organization despite their ridiculous messiness (that is just part of their charm) and I will probably continue to write and think of them that way. Like damnit let them exist together (I do like that to do this Fyodor must be nerfed though like yeah, sit down shut up stop scheming no you did not set everyone up to get completely fucked shhh you can have some schemes as a treat but not the *big one*). And because of that I still very much enjoy the "Fyodor and Fukuchi having conversations without the rest of them" thing and the DoA being at the end of the day their organization originally.

And then there is the big thing, and that is that I will ship Fyodor with just about anyone. So now that you have asked me about Fyokuchi dear anon I am now considering Fyokuchi more lmao. In my mind it really has to completely diverge from canon (not a bad thing which I kinda said before but just reiterating my stance on that) now to ship them though, well I guess unless you make it really fucking tragic and put some hidden feelings of regret in there for Fyodor despite still using him for his own goal. Like maybe spending so much time with him he still is going to *do the thing* and keep manipulating him all the way there, but it isn't without some personal emotional pain (that he isn't going to share). Enough to hurt but not enough to change his mind and abandon his final plans in the end. Sry sry I went off on some kinda brainstorming tangent with canon compliant tragic Fyokuchi. I'll stop here. (This is what I mean though with me and Fyodor ships, like I start considering it and with him it becomes "So how could this work actually?" And it is fun for me to think about, other people experiencing him or how their relationship could work (or begin or end).

[mae-i-scribble]

Hi, I hope you're having a nice day - in your author's notes for chapter 2 of The Long Way Home, you mentioned the idea that the story HSY wrote is different from the ORV that we know. I wanted to ask if you've ever written any posts expanding on that? I would love to read more about your thoughts on this (KDJ in your story's last memory being about reading that instead of WoS. Gutted me.)

Hello there! I have unfortunately not written a post detailing this (if you are the very nice anon who has asked me to elaborate on this i am very sorry, if you're not anon i am still very sorry), in large part because doing so in a way that I would be happy with would involve combing through the last 1/3rd or so of the novel. Since the major thematics about authors and characters and readers as one aren't really gotten into until that point. To be honest, I just haven't had the energy for that.

The idea that the novel HSY wrote not being ORV is one that I've always had since first finishing ORV- I can't say where exactly it originated from. Now to be clear, it's an undisputed fact that HSY and kimcom *are* writing about the events they lived through, and I do 100% both understand how and why HSY writing ORV is the more widely accepted theory (them including lines from early orv scenes, the way that it loops right back around into ORV's very meta theming, the way it would match up with the ideas of loop of fate, etc.) I just don't agree with it.

One of the greatest takeaways for me on the author/character theming in ORV is that an author will never fully understand a character they write. HSY and YJH live this out in real time, alongside HSY learning the origins of WoS vs the YJH she has come to know as a companion. In writing WoS she straight up admits that she fudges her memories of him because it isn't as if she could know everything about him- she just wrote the story she thought KDJ needed to hear. (I swear I have a point I promise). HSY as intimate knowledge in how while writing someone, you both grow to understand them intimately while simultaneously remaining clueless. With the experiences she goes through, combined with the fact that KDJ's narration in ORV is so specifically *him* with all its unreliability and the glimpses we get into his past/bits of him on his own without kimcom around, I just don't think ORV is something HSY would have written. To me, she wouldn't have tried to write from KDJ's perspective, already having far too much entanglement in obscuring people and characters with KDJ (and possily from that one scenario where she's almost taken over by the character she's incarnated into, but again, i would need to reread).

Then we reach the point where she writes this novel for the KDJ's across worldlines- or rather, kimcom does. Which I think is another very relevant point, HSY is compiling and spinning this into a narrative, but *everyone* is contributing to it and writing bits and pieces. Now that I type it out, I think that might be part of what makes me so happy with the thought that instead of ORV, HSY is writing that same story but told from kimcom's perspective, not KDJ's like ORV is. The image of everyone coming together to give their own perspective and accounts while HSY compiles and sorts those varying viewpoints into a narrative with KDJ as the focus just warms my heart. In a post I made about the epilogues, I brought up that with this interpretation, you can see it as kimcom writing KDJ as they see him, so that he can understand just why they love him so dearly- which I think is especially poignant considering this novel's true purpose isn't even to bring KDJ back, its to help everyone else heal from the trauma of losing him.

So basically, I can't really give you much of a textual basis for my argument besides for the fact that ORV doesn't straight up say HSY is writing ORV, it's more just was my first takeaway that has forever stuck with me as my preferred interpretation.

(P.S. thank you for taking the time to read my fic, I also loved writing the bit where KDJ remembers that story.)

[naminethewriter]

On the Road, Just the Two of Us

Chapter Eight: At Our Destination, Not Just the Two of Us

Masterpost | First | Previous | Ao3

Summary: This was written for @dukeceit-week-2024, @dukeceitweek

Janus and Remus are living in a campervan at the moment. Are they going somewhere? Who knows. The only thing that’s important is that they’re together.

Content Warnings: Flirting, Kissing, Bickering between the twins

🌻🌻🌻🌻

“I don’t want this to end,” Remus admitted quietly.

“I know, darling.” Janus didn’t look over at his boyfriend, too focused on the GPS that told him they were only five minutes away from their destination.

“Can’t we just drive past and keep going?”

“No, dear. It was fun and I loathe to admit I wouldn’t mind if this trip was longer, but we need to go back at some point. I can only take off time from work for so long and we do still need the money. Even if we were to live like this full time. I don’t think I’d enjoy it on a permanent basis, actually.”

Remus sighed, leaning heavily into his seat.

“Yeah, I know. Me too, actually. I can’t sculpt like this. Or paint on the scale I’d like. I know it’s for the best, but still… I don’t wanna deal with the responsibilities again.”

“I cannot relate to that at all.” Janus moved his hand to Remus’ thigh and squeezed. “It’s going to be fine. You focus on your art and let me deal with all the annoying paperwork and bills.”

“You’re gonna be busy again,” Remus accused, though it was in a lighter tone. He was indeed upset at that fact, but he also knew that it was necessary.

“Yes. That’s probably not going to change for a long while.”

“I know. It sucks ass.”

“It does.”

The GPS announced the last turn they would have to make before they’d reach their destination at the end of the road.

“We’ll find the time to do something like this again, promise,” Janus said. “Not every year, not even every other year but we’ll do it again.”

“I’ll cut you if we don’t.”

“Sounds fair.”

They drove the last stretch of their journey in silence, just enjoying each other’s company and reflecting on the past three month on their own.

It had been the most freeing time in Janus’ life.

He was going to miss it.

He pulled the van into a free parking spot outside a lovely, old hotel. The location of the wedding.

“Are you ready?” he asked Remus. His boyfriend huffed.

“One last thing.” Remus pulled Janus over to him, practically lifting him from the driver’s seat and onto his lap, before sealing their lips together. It was unusually sweet for him, no tongue involved.

They parted a few minutes later.

“Now I’m ready,” Remus grinned and Janus chuckled.

“Then let’s go.” He leaned over to grab the keys from the ignition before climbing out of Remus’ lap and out of the passenger door. Remus followed after him, but not without commenting on how good his butt looked.

“There you are! Finally!” The car door wasn’t even closed behind them before Roman was stalking over to them, looking close to furious. “Do you have any idea what time it is? You were supposed to be here yesterday!”

“What a nice welcome,” Janus commented dryly, causing Remus to burst out in giggles and Roman to glare at him.

“Sorry, Ro-bro, but we got turned around.”

“Oh, really?” Roman asked, obviously not convinced, his arms crossed.

“No, he saw a flyer for a carnival and begged me to go.”

“It was super fun, I almost puked on one of their rides! So worth it.”

“I cannot believe you two! A carnival, really?! The rehearsal dinner for your wedding is in two hours! Two hours! And you both look like you haven’t showered in a week!”

“Don’t be dramatic, it was only five days.” Roman groaned and Remus smiled at him, delighted by his annoyance.

“I do not know why you didn’t get a better van! One with a shower! Janus is a lawyer for goodness’ sake, you could’ve easily afforded it!”

“Yeah, but that wasn’t the aesthetic we were going for!”

“I am so going to strangle you!”

“Oh, look, the grooms finally made it,” a new voice commented, and Janus turned to see that Virgil, his best man, had joined them. “Roman was going up the walls since yesterday, it was hilarious to watch.”

“I can’t imagine that at all.” Janus smirked. “You seem quite calm though. Usually you would be right there with him, worrying your pretty little head off about everything.” Virgil elbowed him in the arm for that and rolled his eyes.

“Why would I stress myself out about your wedding? You already paid for all of this, so it’s not like it would’ve been a loss for me if you didn’t end up showing. Plus, I know the two of you, of course nothing here would go to plan, especially since Roman did most of the planning. I was sure you’re going to turn up late, if just to spite him. Hell, I wouldn’t put it past you to have arrived here like two days ago and you’ve just stayed in the van ten minutes from here until you could be fashionably late. I’m more surprised you showed up for the rehearsal at all. Second plus, Logan’s been weirdly insistent that you’d be here around this time. I think Remus has been texting him updates.”

“Why should we put so much effort into a wedding Roman wanted more than us? We would have been fine with getting an officiant into our backyard during a barbeque. He insisted on something more ‘meaningful.’” Janus rolled his eyes and Virgil snickered.

“He and his high standards. Anyway, let’s get you inside and under a shower. You reek.”

“Why, thank you Virgil, for telling me that so politely.”

“Fuck off and just come along.”

They started off towards the hotel, closely followed by the twins that were still arguing.

“And what the hell was that text about sunflowers in the bouquet?” Roman huffed, still rather worked up. “You can’t expect me to change that on such short notice! And they would have clashed with the other colors, plus they stand for platonic affection, not romantic!”

“The fuck you mean ‘short notice?’ I asked you about that two and a half months ago!”

“Yes, way too late! I added some sunflowers to the decorations but not the bouquet.”

“Wow, thank you for your sacrifice.”

They continued to bicker like that the entire way. When they reached the entrance to the hotel, Virgil pulled the door open and held it for them all to pass. Janus let the twins go first, since Roman seemed about to explode if he didn’t get Remus ready immediately. Janus watched them disappear further into the building when Virgil lightly shoved his shoulder with his own.

“So, you ready to get married?” he asked.

Janus watched Remus laugh loudly and pulling his brother into a hug and he smiled.

“I was ready to marry him years ago.”

🌻🌻🌻🌻

This is the end of the story! Thank you all so much for reading, reblogging, tagging and commenting 💛💚

[thewertsearch]

FCG: HEY PAST ME, GO HAVE A BLAST KILLING THE KING, I'M SURE IT WILL BE AWESOME. FCG: IN FACT, IT WAS AWESOME. BANG UP JOB WITH THAT, DUDE! FCG: TOO BAD IT WAS ALL A HUGE WASTE OF TIME.

Aright.

We're 500 pages deep into Hivebent. We've been introduced to each of the trolls, experienced their messed-up society, and come to understand the broad strokes of their session's dynamics.

We've seen almost everything I expected Hivebent to show us - with one exception. I could be wrong, but I think the curtain is finally starting to twitch on a very old mystery - one that needs to be explained for us to fully understand the trolls' story.

Before we can call it an Act, we need to learn what went wrong.

FCG: I AM LEARNING A VALUABLE LESSON TODAY! FCG: IT TURNS OUT YOU CAN'T ALTER THE OUTCOME OF DECISIONS MADE BY MORONS, NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU YELL AT THEM. FCG: ALL YOU CAN REALLY DO IS GIVE THEM A HARD TIME AND TRY TO MAKE THEIR LIVES JUST A LITTLE MORE MISERABLE. FCG: WHICH SOUNDS LIKE A MORE NOBLE PURSUIT THAN CHANGING DESTINY FOR THE BETTER ANYWAY, FRANKLY. FCG: LOSERS SHOULD BE FORCED TO FACE THE MUSIC, EVEN FOR THE MISTAKES THEY HAVEN'T MADE YET.

Karkat's putting together the ideas that will form the basis for Project Trolling - which, from his current perspective, must be very soon.

FCG: WHY DID I EVER THINK THESE MEMOS WERE GOING TO BE A GOOD IDEA. FCG: NOBODY CARES [...] FCG: NO ONE'S GOING TO READ THROUGH ALL THIS, ALL THE VALUABLE INFORMATION IS JUST GETTING LOST IN THE YELLING. FCG: YOU STUPID STUPID IDIOT.

And now, we truly understand why he did it.

Karkat lost. He thrust himself into the session, made plans, yelled, coddled, argued, dealt with Equius and Eridan and Vriska, solved the game's riddles, created himself, created his friends, died, killed, yelled some more, and did it all again - and still, he lost.

He's despondent, and he's angry. It's not the performative anger of a teenage troll - it's real, actual fury at the unfairness of the world, distorted into anger at himself. He's a feedback loop of rage, and he's sitting in the Veil, and they all might die any second, and he has no outlet.

If only he could find a real, actual target. If only there was someone to blame - someone he could really go off on.

If only there was someone who fucked everything up.

What a relief that would be!

FCG: I'VE GOT TO PULL IT TOGETHER. FCG: THINK BACK TO WHAT WE MIGHT HAVE DONE WRONG. FCG: BUT THE THING IS FCG: AS MUCH AS OUR PAST SELVES ARE A BUNCH OF STUBBORN UNLISTENING ASSHOLES FCG: I CAN'T EVEN REALLY IDENTIFY ANY MISTAKES WE MADE. FCG: IT WAS ALL PRETTY MUCH LIKE CLOCKWORK.

It absolutely fucking wasn't - but Karkat isn't in our privileged position. He couldn't see the cracks start to form.

One Player died before the session even started, murdered by a pawn controlled by a pawn.

One Player's land is glitched, corrupted through unknown means, with unknown consequences.

One Player has prototyped a Horrorterror, permanently imbuing the session with the traits of an eldritch monstrosity.

These are all huge red flags.

So why do I think the most ominous flag of all is a white one?

[net-banshee]

i was in early high school when I first denoted myself as asexual. while I had not experienced sex, I knew I was fairly eh about it; I didn't experience that form of desire towards people. Even if it was an experience I wanted to have, it was never anything about any particular person, but rather just wanting to experience something in general.

The landscape of tumblr at this time was rather ace positive. Asexuality was a well-known label, and a celebrated aspect of queerness. There were light-hearted jokes about the LGBTQ+ community about swingsets (straight people swing one way, gays swing another, bi swing both direction, pan swing violently everywhere, and ace people don't swing at all) that always made me smile.

And then everything collapsed, and the idea that "ace people aren't queer because they don't experience the same oppression" became uncomfortably loud. Everyone had a take, and a lot of people started to en masse make fun of and exclude ace people.

The basis, whether openly or not, was the idea of being "straight passing", that we could be perceived by heteronormative society as compliant and participant, when in fact we are not.

I cannot stress enough that I was there, and I remember it all. I had to delete my previous tumblr account entirely because I made a post supporting asexuality and celebrating it, and I got a wave of hate—to the point that when I changed my URL, someone made a new blog with my previous one to make fun of me.

I remember losing friends because of this phenomenon. I had people I trusted, appreciated, relied on, and that trust was broken because they believed I was undeserving of community with other queer people because, from their perspective, I wasn't oppressed the same way.

It doesn't matter that we were mistreated in ways that were largely similar to other homosexual people, through peer pressure and people trying to "make us straight" or seeing our asexuality as a challenge the same way they might see a lesbian as fixable. It doesn't matter that many asexuals had their committed romantic relationships fall apart because they couldn't please their partners. It doesn't matter that many people still joke about asexuals being plants as a means to demean us.

Because even if none of that actual mistreatment and disrespect happened, asexuals were oppressed by our own fucking community. We were mistreated, disrespected, attacked, and silenced by our queer peers simply because we didn't fuck.

Exclusionists believed we weren't queer enough because we weren't oppressed for being asexuality, so they oppressed us themselves and forced so many of us back into the closet.

It's an impressive level of hypocrisy, that we are mistreated by those who should stand in solidarity with us because they don't get it. Because they think it's weird, or it's a phase, or it's not having found the right person, exactly how they claim to have been mistreated. These people used us as a punching bag to reflect their own grief and trauma upon, to feel big and strong where the rest of the world made them feel small.

And instead, we could have stood together.

Our community online cannibalized itself from the inside out for some twisted game of pain olympics, providing value to only those they deemed worthy, reflecting the way our community as a whole had been treated for decades.

I want to make clear that this happened because of people that decided they needed to be valued on the terms of heteronormative society. This happened because of a need for external validation and acceptance from the people that hate us. I said it years ago, and I'll say it again:

The people who hate us don't care if we're gay, bi, pan, ace, or something else. They care that we're different from them, and they will hate us indiscriminately.

It's this ideology that fed into biphobia, panphobia, truscum/transmedicalism, and eventually terfism. It's this ideology that we have to conform in our nonconformity that has caused this rift.

This community has spent the better part of a decade cannibalizing itself, severing itself, dividing itself, and making it all the more simple for our oppressors to devour us.

Because we're not queer unless we experience same sex attraction. Because we're not queer if we experience opposite sex attraction. Because we're not trans unless we conform to heteronormative gender stereotypes. Because we're not trans at all.

And the last step is that we're not queer at all. Because we were divided and conquered by ourselves.

I will not mince words: this will not happen again. I will not be traumatized back into the closet again. I will not watch as a community built from the ground up for the express purpose of solidarity and supporting the divergent is torn apart by the very people that it exists to support.

Within the last couple years, I determined I am aromantic as well. But because of this experience, despite my perceived solidity in ace/aro validity, I wasn't sure if I should come out, or if I was correct. I hesitated, closeted by those masquerading as a part of my community, made to question in the back of my mind that my feelings were incorrect, a phase, a problem.

Even if I were to be aromantic and not asexual, or asexual and not aromantic, I am still queer.

And now history repeats itself, and a new wave of self-proclaimed judges of queer validity try to take this away from us, and a new wave of asexuals and aromantics are at risk of feeling this same struggle.

It is with no respect, and seething rage, that I say this: anyone who repeats the past is not welcome here. Anyone who seeks to divide our community again is not welcome here.

If you come here to this website to spew hatred and vile at the members of your own community, you are not welcome on this website. You will not repeat the past without consequence again.

If you believe in any such way that queerness requires some amount of conformity beyond not being cishet, you are not welcome here.

In short, and with absolute hatred:

Aphobes, get the fuck off my website. We will not do this again.

[desultory-novice]

Another Lightning Round!

This time, we're answering:

-Borb Feet -Shadow Dedede and The Mirror World's Dream Fountain -Kirby Royalty -Soul of Kirby?! -Forgiving the "unforgivable" Dream Friends (a lo~ng post for an old ask!)

Hee hee! I'll tell you what, anon, at first, I wasn't sure how to take this comment (something I mentioned on stream) because getting good at drawing feet on the internet is... well...you know!

But given I myself started this by pointing out how bad I was at it with Galacta Knight, I really do appreciate the compliment! Next on my list.... borb hands. I've seen so many people draw Kirby's n-nubs (?) in ways that really make them look so marshmallow-y and fun!

-

Hello?! That idea of the Star Rod never getting repaired after Shadow Dedede broke it?! Fantastic! Imagine it drying up, and of course, the effects something like that would have on the mirror world!

(Has anyone else stumbled across that gorgeous but haunting series of "bad end" pictures a certain Kirby fan artist did on Twitter? I remember one had Dedede with a dried up Dream Fountain. That's very much what I'm visualizing here!)

Now, I vague~ly recall that there's some debate about the "darkness in his heart" part of the Shadow Dedede pause screen?  That the English version says it is Shadow Dedede who has to overcome his darkness whereas in the original, it is OUR Dedede who has to overcome his "shadow" that being Shadow Dedede.

...But just because it isn't saying that Shadow Dedede is trying to overcome something doesn't mean he doesn't represent a painful mark in both Dedede's histories. And such a "mistake" (unknown at the time) is an excellent possibility!

Lastly, thank you! The steady influx of lore and theories everyone drops into my inbox reminds me of my favorite parts of fandom in the old days and is a major treat!

-

This is NEAT! While they may not have known about each other in the past, you bring up a great point that after so many games, these various planets (dimensions? in the case of Fluff) are forging bonds with each other. Everyone likes the Galactic Star Alliance from the anime, right? What's interesting is that we kind of have a basis for such an "alliance" forming in our current Kirby-game verse!

Kirby has helped these monarchs get in contact with each other, becoming a link across multiple planets. So I think the idea of them getting together and talking now, in the present~post-game of Forgotten Land is a possibility! Let each other know if any suspicious activity is happening or if everyone is still doing all right.

Although that reminds me of something that came up in the stream... Since King Dedede is the "self-proclaimed" ruler of Dream Land... is there an ACTUAL ruler of Dream Land/Popstar waiting in the wings? Waiting for their return? Or sealed away even? (D-Dark Nebula, is that you?)

Either way, a meeting between those 5 sounds both intense and fun! I would love to come back to this idea with a sketch or illustration of some kind!

-

I'm digging into the backlog for some of these. Also, I can't believe I never answered this one?! Sorry if this ask is too old even for you, @emeraldcoloredwinter

(I'm also sorry in case I did in fact answer it in the past and can't find it - because Tumblr's search is really unreliable. If I repeat myself here, I'm sorry. If not and this turns out to be relevant...great!)

Frankly, I would love to see all kinds of soul lore expanded upon in future games. Partly because I have my headcanons as to why Sectonia/Pres. Haltmann died for realz versus why Marx and Magolor came back and if we get more tidbits, I can come closer to completing my conspiracy corkboard!!

(As well as figure out just where Drawcia lays in the current state of "canon." And maybe figure out some stuff about Zero, Zero 2 and the Dark Matters and what happened to them!)

On the one hand, I feel like Void did a rea~lly bang up job at feeling like you were battling the soul of Kirby. Or at least "a Kirby." I mean, seeing Kirby's face appear on Void, with all those childish movement patterns and that smile before defeat?

But Void was also composed of a variety of thoughts and feelings, so it wasn't exactly our Kirby. Then we've got the Shadow Kirby battles in Kirby Fighters 2, which also come somewhat close in concept, as you're fighting someone with the same ability set as you. That would be another good way to do it, I think.

But it still doesn't quite scratch that itch, does it? ... Now, I feel silly that I can't remember if this is a real thing or I'm just combining a bunch of games in my head (I-I may be old but I'm decades away from the point where I should have to fear being senile!!) but watching some Castlevania longplays... there was a part of one of the games where you go through one of the old castles, right? Maybe it wasn't in black and white, but it is in my memories.

And Kirby had a part like that too, in one of the games! At least, I think it did...? (Okay, maybe I AM going senile...)

:cough: That aside, something like those visuals above when combined with the feelings evoked by the 8-bit nostalgia portion of Void Termina's The Star Conquering Traveler Suite...

I can only imagine it would be sad. Maybe it would involve some kind of sacrifice or some kind of origin story. A time-travel game even? Something that takes us back to our favorite hero's beginnings. Despite it inevitably being THE penultimate fight, I can't picture it being a big dramatic battle so much as one of those interactive cutscenes, or something with never-seen-before-now gameplay elements. But it would feel like a true goodbye to the Kirby series. Oh, it might be able to continue on past that, just like things didn't end after the Star Allies completion picture either.

...But expect a lot of fears (and tears!) of something happening when it finally did.

Personally, I can't help but think Kirby's Soul would look like Retro Kirby or Popopo from Twinkle Popo. It might not even be called "Kirby's Soul" but have a more archetypical name like "Soul of a Traveler" or "Soul of Youth." 

...Soul of the Spring Breeze.

-

Another super old one. Gah, me and my slowness... The sad thing is, I had nine~ty percent of this written out a while ago but just didn't know how to finish it. I'm so sorry about that, @vexx-ation !

It was a really good ask though and I'm glad I gave it another shot. Now then, I think that in large part, this would boil down to who was most harmed by those characters and in what ways!

-

[Dark Meta Knight]

Dark Meta Knight is the biggest mystery because... DMK refuses (or can't) talk to anyone so we know nothing about his feelings. And we don't even know how he returned the first time after death (?)

Meta Knight is the one DMK has arguably hurt the most (excluding maybe Kirby) but I feel like Meta Knight is also the one who needs nothing from DMK to understand forgive them. It really all depends on where Dark Meta Knight is coming from. Was DMK a willing agent in Dark Mind's takeover? Then Meta Knight would be more hard on/untrusting of his shadow for certain. But being his mirror counterpart, I think he would take it as a sign of something lacking in himself. That he is only one step away from making such a turn. But if you, like me, think that the placement of certain objects and events in Amazing Mirror (Radish Ruins as DMK's "stage" and Shadow Kirby showing up one last time before you face off against DMK) are indicative that something more subtle is going on, Meta Knight may not even require an apology from DMK at all. Either DMK was manipulated or was attempting to manipulate the situation in the Mirror World's favor. In which case Meta would just silently nod and go on with his day.

Then there's King Dedede, who, at least in his own parallel mode, was seemingly attacked at random by DMK. That certainly puts them off on a wrong start, but I also think that Dedede would be able to eventually laugh it off and compare it some of his Meta Knight's more belligerent actions in the past (something that would probably fluster Meta Knight, as he wouldn't expect that comparison, mirror counterpart or no.) IE: I find it hard to believe the guy with a wrestling ring in his castle would hold an ambush against somebody for long, especially as he won.

It would take Bandee probably a bit to come to terms with the scary version of someone he most likely respects, but DMK has his cute (?) side too (like in his idle animation) so I think Bandee could come to accept DMK, especially after both Meta Knight and Dedede express that they no longer hold any hard feelings toward the dark knight.

Kirby would probably be the closest thing to a "holdout" here, only because Dark Meta DID ambush two of his friends (depending on the timelines) and he'd want to know that's not going to happen again. Afterwards though? DMK's right to be a part of the group is never questioned again!

-

[Susie]

Susie... ahhh, Susie. Let's just note that all the classic Susie discourse disclaimers go here and remind everyone once more that they're on a Susie-friendly blog and to some of you, what I am going to say may come off as being exceptionally "light" on Susie's crimes. It is what it is, however. If you want a brutal takedown of Susie, there are dozens of other blogs who will give it, I am certain. I can only go in-depth on things from my view of my Kirby-verse.

In random order: Bandee was the only one to not be incapacitated for large chunks of Planet Robobot's story and I believe that were the game to be remade in the modern style (or even had it been released on more powerful hardware than the 3DS) Bandee would have been a second player character just like in Forgotten Land. And if we assume that of him, then we can assume Bandee would have been exposed to Susie's entire plotline same as Kirby.

Bandee is, at least in the novel-verse (and it's not a bad HC in general) the most empathetic member of the Dream Team. Bandee can sympathize with and care about just about anyone. And Bandee might have been wondering if there was something going on with Susie before even Kirby started to see the cracks in the secretary's facade of corporate perfection.

While Bandee wouldn't like the things she, her father, and the HWC have done to Popstar, I think that once he sees where she's come from, his own anger would be tempered down. That everything reverts at the end (ironic (?) that everything is almost "magically healed" except the Haltmann's shattered family bonds) would be enough of a relief for Bandee that I think he could move on to looking at Susie as just a person. (And isn't he the one in the novel who gives her the pocketwatch back or am I mis-remembering that?)

I actually think Susie "as a friend" could be more intimidating to Bandee that Susie as an enemy. She's a sympathetic enemy. As a friend, she might be a considered too "extra" for the small warrior Dee! XD

On that note...I don't know why, but in most cases, I just see King Dedede as being very forgiving toward people in trouble. Oh, he will grumble about it to no end! But I don't see him EVER hurting anyone while they're down.

Of course, Dedede was also unconscious for 99% of Planet Robobot. Was he even awake when his DNA was stolen? Does he know? I mean, not knowing wouldn't be great at all, but I can't help but think that more than being harvested and bottled, his biggest concern, just based on his priorities, would be that his castle got destroyed AGAIN. Why can't the poor man keep a castle?! He didn't even do anything this time!! (Even the Halberd made it!) So, yeah, imagine a confrontation with Susie and Dedede and Susie tries to imagine all the things Dedede is going to call her out for and no, he's just upset about his castle getting wrecked. Susie is surprised he even cares about that "dinky, dusty old thing" and thus, a shouting match begins.

But again, I don't think it would last for too long. I think the things Dedede and Susie would clash on would be petty things. Dedede is pretty manly in his interests and Susie is very girly. They're blue and pink, even. I think Dedede would forget or just plain ol' not care about Susie's more "human rights" crimes and make MOUNTAINS out of the little things. Although they do share a love of machinery, and that might be something that would bring peace to the VERY petty disagreements. At least until Susie chastises Dedede for using "old parts" while Dedede goes on an old man rant about how those old parts are three times as reliable as all this easy to break new stuff! (Dedede is the equivalent of the guy who put his first car together by hand. Susie is the "born plugged in" type.) So, yes, they fight, but not for the reasons you think. ^^;

...As for Meta Knight, I think countless paragraphs have already been written on these two and most people know where I fall about now. Meta Knight, whether we saw it happen on screen or not, was able to figure out what Susie's deal was faster than anyone else, and while he didn't care for having his autonomy stolen (not to mention, I can't imagine he liked all the bulk of his un-asked for cybernetic upgrades. Mecha Knight is a tank. A stark contrast to Meta Knight's fast "here and away" style.) But if anyone in the entire FRANCHISE understands that sometimes your morals take a backseat for your goals, it would be him and now that the dust has cleared and the HWC was on the losing side with Susie as it's sole survivor (speaking brutally) there's no reason to be angry with her anymore. That said, I believe that, much like happens in the fandom, Meta Knight probably gets questioned fairly often (by people who know) if he's upset at Susie, with some not believing its possible he wouldn't be. But I really think to him, it's just something that happens when you're pushed into a corner.

What Meta Knight would care about is not what Susie has done in her past (to him) but what she does now.

...That said, I think he will find an "excuse" to be somewhere else when she looks at him with stars in her eyes and a wrench in her hand. (I am a firm believer that the Star Allies scene is meant to be taken comically, not seriously. I have nothing against Mecha Knight unwanted modification angst but that scene should not be your sole "proof" such a thing exists.)

And of course, as for Kirby, Kirby has already accepted Susie. He ran to her side when she was injured. He agreed with her request to stop Star Dream, and he accepted her invader armor. There's nothing else to forgive. Acceptance is freely given.

Lastly...

-

[Marx]

Marx is the silly one. Very silly. I think, on my first draft of this post (I made the choice to write it again from scratch rather than base it on my previous version, so that it was up to date with my current feelings) I took the concept of Marx and forgiveness very seriously, but then I booted up Star Stacker (SNES) again and remembered that the story began because one day, Dedede saw a sparkling star flying through the sky and decided, "I'm gonna shoot it with a cannon!" So, in case this needs to be restated...

The people of Dream Land are absolutely buck wild.

Probably, due to the comparisons with his spiritual successor Magolor, there's been a casual attempt to try and make a bigger deal out of the "ship in a bottle" events of Milky Way Wishes.

I don't want to be a hypocrite here. I'm a huge fan of "Let's try to expand on Marx's backstory, personality, and motivations using every tiny scrap we've got" and I do so relatively shamelessly. I love the idea that there might have been buckets and buckets of angst and pathos behind his decision to trick Kirby into bringing Galactic Nova into Popstar's orbit so he could kick our beloved puffball into the darkness of space and wish to make the planet his own...

...but do I think that those acts in a vacuum are on the same scale as what all the other big, bad, last bosses have done?

Not really.

Well, not like the modern villains. Marx is a bit more like Dark Meta Knight or Daroach in the breadth of his bad guy-ness. His act harmed very few people in practice. It could have gone on to harm more eventually, had it succeeded. It might have even been devastating! Similar to if Dark Mind's reach was allowed to expand into the peaceful non-Mirror Popstar. Or if Dark Daroach went on to rule as the second coming of the Lord of the Netherworld!

But... it wasn't. The clown's dreams lasted only a few brief minutes. To the people on the surface, Nova exploding probably looked like no more than a shooting star. ("Everyone make a wish!")

...The only person Marx needs forgiveness from, then, is Kirby. And that is the story of several hundred different fanfics and fan theories and frankly, I enjoy all of them because the ~potential~ dynamic these two characters share is one of my favorite things in the series.

And, leaving the "middle" of that journey for we, the fan creators to come up with, I believe we can at least say that, in the end, the two seem to have made up successfully.

...Now, there's still the question of would the rest of the Dream Team LIKE Marx or forgive him upon hearing what he did! I think Meta Knight would be wary of him for a lot of reasons. He's unexpected and uncontrollable. He hopped in to attack the group during the Star Allies credit sequence. But Meta Knight also (in an alternate timeline) thought wishing on Galactic Nova for a ridiculously selfish wish was a perfectly sane thing to do so I gather he would have little issue with Marx's ambitions, if not his actions. And as for his attempted murder of Kirby, Meta Knight is :cough: also guilty of that so yeahhhh. Maybe he doesn't LOVE the jester's antics or even tolerate them, but he wouldn't decry them from a moral high ground...?

I personally love the idea that King Dedede is headache-inducingly familiar with Marx. I like the idea that Marx might have even gotten his title of "jester" thanks to King Dedede. According to the Dedede Encyclopedia entries on twitter, Dedede had no idea about Marx's attempted takeover of Popstar nor did he know about Marx's "true form." Thus, it's easy to imagine that to Dedede, Marx is nothing more than another cute, silly resident of Dream Land, like the Waddle Dees. He may even treat Marx with the same paternal kindness he gives the Waddle Dees. At least until Marx goes a step too far!

TLDR, I love the version of their relationship as implied in the Kirby Storybooks, where Marx is one of "those troublesome kids" who teams up with Kirby to play harmless pranks on Dedede. It's so crazy wholesome, something that you can't always say about Marx!

...Lastly, Bandee... Oh, empathetic little Bandee. I feel like Bandee would probably be the one to eye Marx the most critically. Because Bandee has eyes on the ground level to NOT be fooled like Dedede nor so extreme that he can't hold Marx accountable like Meta Knight. I think Bandee is probably the closest to Kirby in seeing Marx for who Marx really is, but doesn't have the "complex" relationship Kirby and Marx does that inspires Kirby to forgive him no matter what he does.

Not that I think they fight or don't get along, necessarily. (In fact, the sudden spike (?) in MarDee - am I spelling that right? - shippers has rekindled my interesting in their dynamic) But I do think that while Marx is giving everyone his "Who? Meeee?" eyes, Bandee is off on the side giving Marx a narrow-eyed look of "You don't fool me."

But again, I think that honesty may be something that could turn into a kind of closeness they don't have with others! Plus, biased, but I also completely love, love, love the idea that the one Waddle Dee who is tired of being "just a Waddle Dee" and the one Noddy who is tired of being "just a Noddy" have an understanding that none of the naturally over-powered residents of Popstar can ever understand.

It's possible to write them as rivals or enemies. These two, quite frankly, could be very cool together in a variety of ways!

[mayasdeluca]

The highs and lows with this show is so exhausting. 😂 We went from the amazing episode that was 6x15 to no Carina in 6x16 to this episode and I just...felt like we were going to get more? I was hoping we would get more Carina considering she wasn’t in last week’s episode and it just felt like things were off since the last time we saw Carina and Maya/Carina together. It felt like we took three steps back as soon as Carina started talking to Ben. I understand her hesitancy and her voicing her feelings about what it was like living with Maya (I was shocked they actually brought up her father) but it felt like they had gotten already gotten past that step? It just feels like the writing for Carina is all over the place and it doesn’t help that they don’t have her in episodes on a consistent basis either. 

The fact that she had stated she wanted Maya to win her back but then said she’s not a reward and still needed proof? Maya has been showing proof for multiple episodes now. And then she really had to hear about the captaincy from someone else and we really didn’t get to see them talk about that with each other? The scene at the lockers was cute but felt totally rushed (directing and angles were awful though) and Carina’s decision to move back in just feels like a quick turnaround considering the last time we saw her she didn’t want to move back in said apartment. Maya has put Carina above work so many times but now hearing she won’t go for captain (but us not getting see Maya’s real explanation except for the brief stuff she said to Jack) was enough for Carina to be all in now? Just feels like a cheap payoff to something that they had done such a good job building up to this whole second half of the season.

I do love that Carina’s ring is now back on as soon as they move back in though since she had said she had married Maya the second she moved into their apartment. And Maya carrying Carina? Love it. So I’ll be staying here:

Still super confused as to why it seems like they aren’t at the ball in the finale because what else are they doing? And it seemed like Maya planned to go based on what she said tonight? So that’s weird. But anyways...Carina is back home and has her ring on so ❤️