#we r literally the only foreign people here

[roylustang]

Literally thought this run was gonna suck ass bc my legs were so heavy on Thursday but this was one of the easiest long runs of my life this shit is INSANE. Also a local saw me rawdogging the stream water so I got to tell him about my best friend the filtered flask

[butwhatifidothis]

(regarding the Fort Merceus scene)

"Claude doesn't know as much about the Seiros faith because he's an outsider" thanks for ignoring the entire point of Claude's route just to insist he doesn't grow as a character

Ohhh wait, no, it's not that he's not knowledgeable, it's just him definitely lying! Because disagreements? Regarding tenets of a religion? Impossible! Claude must be feigning ignorance and lying because that's all he does as a character! He's tricking the diligent Lorenz into thinking things that aren't true, because Church Bad and Claude would never tell the truth!

[frangipanilove]

Daryl’s Green(e) Jasper Revisited; A “Roch” In The Road

“Pilgrims Under The Field Of Stars” (part 2) (part 1)

The “Roch” in the headline is not a typo, it’s a reference to St. Roch, patron saint of dogs and dog lovers, also known for healing people suffering from plague and infectious disease, and that’s why it’s super interesting that Daryl finds the little green(e) rock as they’re quite literally out searching for antibiotics to combat the prison flu, or shall we say prison plague?

St. Roch, Rocco in Italian, in English sometimes called "Rock", was a pilgrim who was known for tending to, and healing victims of the plague. He became known as a protector against plague and infectious disease, and at one point he contracted the bubonic plague himself. He was healed when a dog came up to him and licked his wounds. He’s since been depicted in iconography always with a dog by his side and wounds caused by bubonic plague exposed on his leg.

He had “triumphed over the disease in his own flesh”.

To me, this reads like an obvious historical parallel to the Wildfire virus in TWDU. For someone who has been talking about dogs and their Sirius (reunion/resurrection/rebirth) symbolism for close to a decade now, it is quite interesting to see that St. Roch was healed from the bubonic plague by a dog. This lines up with the Sirius symbolism in TWDU in a really compelling way.

My hypothesis is that the Sirius symbolism on the show comes from both the story of Sirius the Dog Star, the returning star, as well as the resurrection symbolism associated with St.Roch, patron saint of dogs and dog lovers, who was famous for protecting against the plague and infectious disease. And in the context of Daryl's green(e) jasper, Daryl's "Roch" in the road, we see all of that on full display.

St. Roch's body currently rests in Chiesa di San Rocco in Venice, Italy, one of many "plague churches" built to protect the city from the numerous waves of plague that affected it through histoey. In fact, the word "quarantine" originally derives from Italian, and it specifically comes from Venice:

St. Roch, in addition to being patron saint for dogs and dog lovers, as well a known protector against plague, is the patron saint of Venice, along with San Marco. Venice, a major trading hub during the middle ages, suffered multiple plagues due to the extensive foreign trade, hence the invention of quarantine arrangements.

Why the history lesson, you may ask. Well, it's to demonstrate that St.Roch is not some random saint in the context of the green(e) jasper from 4x4 Indifference. His legacy is directly connected to the circumstances around Daryl finding the jasper, or the "Roch" in the road", if you will. Daryl specifically found the jasper for a woman who had been on her way into quarantine in A-block as they were leaving, and their entire mission revolved around finding antibiotics, or a "cure" against the "plague".

And, St. Roch, a pilgrim himself, is specifically tied into the pilgrim symbolism I talked about in part 1 the other day.

In TWD 4x4 Indifference, the prison flu/plague was at its height. People were dying, Glenn and Sasha were ill, and their only option was to go to a veterinary college Herschel knew about to scavenge what they could find of antibiotics. The theme here, as Daryl finds the green(e) rock in the road, is healing people from the flu/plague. My hypothesis is that the green(e) rock, a reference to St.Roch, protector against plague and known for miraculously healing plague victims, foreshadows the antibiotics they later will find, or basically the cure against the plague.

Keep this in mind, I’ll return to a “cure against plague” shortly.

There have been many interesting, well researched attempts at deciphering the symbolism around the green jasper over the years, and as we know, symbolism in TWDU is always multi-layered, it can have more than one meaning.

For me, the most obvious thing is that it’s green(e), it seems like an no-brainer reference to Beth Greene. Remember, this was before Beth and Daryl escaped from the prison together. Considering what we now know was to come for them, it seems plausible that the green(e) jasper would function as some kind of foreshadow of that.

Then there’s the fact that Daryl specifically got it for someone who needed it for her husband’s grave marker. In that respect, it’s tied to resurrection symbolism. Symbols on grave markers often include crosses, of course depending on the religious beliefs of the deceased, but I don’t think it’s far fetched to interpret the jasper as synonymous with a cross. And of course, crosses are resurrection symbolism, they’re tied to Beth in all kinds of ways.

Then there's Michonne's nod to the Sirius symbolism, when she made a joke about how the color brings out Daryl’s eyes:

It’s a potential reference to the one-eyed dog from 4x13 Alone, and also a potential reference to the “the heavenly beast with a star in its eye" as Robert Frost said in the poem “One More Brevity “.

"It's a good color". It's (Beth) green(e).

"It brings out your eyes". It's Sirius symbolism and a reference to the one-eyed dog from 4x13 Alone.

Also, don’t forget that Beth’s been connected to issues regarding eyes and eyesight since 4x12 Still:

It's Sirius symbolism, which is tied to St. Roch because he is the patron saint of dogs and dog lovers, and was always depicted with a dog by his side in iconography. And Sirius symbolism is resurrection/rebirth symbolism. St. Roch, patron saint of dogs and dog lovers, miraculously survived the plague himself, as well as being known for healing people from plague and infectious disease.

We see how the Sirius/dog symbolism becomes intertwined with symbolism pertaining to the plague, healing, and a "cure".

Remember Daryl got the green jasper for Mrs. Richards, she was going into “A-block” as they left. “A-block” was where they kept the people sick with flu in quarantine.

Mrs. Richards’ name is likely a reference to “Roch”. The names aren’t etymologically linked in any way that I’m aware of, but come on, you can hear it, right? Richards and Roch? They're not completely different. At the very least, they’re close enough to earn a substantial side eye from me…

The jasper stone, the "Roch" in the road", is associated with the flu. Or should we say “plague”….? And it's associated with being cured, healed, resurrected, reborn...

Remember TWD episode 7x9 Rock In The Road? TF went to The Kingdom to secure Ezekiel's support in the war against the Saviors. Ezekiel was reluctant, and Rick had to resort to storytelling and parabels to convince him. Rick’s story was one about the girl who was bringing her carriage to the market, but there was a rock in the road that broke her carriage and caused her to lose an entire cask of beer.

Beer = ethanol = cure. I’ve talked about the connection between ethanol/alcohol and a cure/pharmakon in many posts such as here and here.

And remember when I said above that the jasper represented the antibiotics they would later find?

And how in Rick’s story about the “rock in the road”, the girl lost a whole case of beer?

That came into play in FTWD 6x3 Alaska.

Dwight and Althea were out scavenging, when they came across a community in a high-rise building. This storyline tied into the CRM in that Althea was there searching for her mysterious love interest Isabel, who was A CRM pilot. Isabel’s helicopter was scheduled to land on the top of the high-rise, but Althea warned her that the property was infested with rats carrying the bacteria Yersenia Pestis, better known as bubonic plague- This is the bacteria that caused the Black Death during the Middle Ages, killing off half of Europe’s population. St. Roch was known for tending to victims of the bubonic plague, he was known for performing miracles, and he contracted the plague himself, but still survived.

In Alaska, Dwight caught the plague:

Without antibiotics, Dwight faces an almost certain death.

Althea, on the rooftop and in communication with CRM-Isabel, is told about beer in the supply crates:

As we've learned by now, "beer" in TWDU is directly associated with some form of "cure". Beer is "cure" symbolism.

And lo and behold! Next to the beer, she finds...

Ciprofloxacin, the exact antibiotic she needs to cure Dwight’s bubonic plague.

We saw in FTWD 6x3 Alaska how TPTB basically equaled ethanol/beer with antibiotics, essentially confirming the connection between "alcohol/ethanol" and a "cure". We've since seen this very theme multiple times.

In TWDDD 1x3 Paris Sera Toujours Paris, Fallou made a reference to the bubonic plague as they were moving through the catacombs. The catacombs are, according to urban legends, lined floor to ceiling with the skulls of the victims of the bubonic plague (I think historians would like to correct a few misconceptions on that, but regardless, that’s a version of history that’s well established in the popular mind):

“Here, we survived many apocalypses. We will survive this one too”. Plagues were common in medieval Europe…

Like I mentioned in part 1, the themes around pilgrimage came back in TWDDD season 1, when Losang namedropped Camino de Santiago to Santiago de Compostela. I also explained how the symbolism associated with St. Christopher is intertwined with the type of resurrection symbolism we see around Beth.

Beth, like St.Roch, is heavily associated with dog symbolism as well as resurrection symbolism.

Beth is the one in TWDU that’s tied up with dog symbolism the most. She IS dog symbolism.

And so is St. Roch, patron saint for dogs and dog lovers...

Daryl has proved to be a quite a dog lover:

And because St.Roch was also famous for healing plague victims, as well as miraculously recovering from the plague himself, we see here another way in which the Sirius/dog symbolism ties into themes of resurrection and rebirth, and themes of a “cure”.

St. Roch was a pilgrim, he’s deeply tied into the symbolism around pilgrimage, which became relevant again by Losang mentioning Santiago de Compostela. Remember, as I explained the other day, the pilgrim symbolism was quietly, yet unmistakably, introduced with Morgan immediately after Beth had been "killed" in 5x8 Coda.

As some sort of pilgrim, we watched him reach Father Gabriel's church, and it was almost as though he had reached his desired end point, the final destination of his pilgrimage. He "resurrected" the overturned cross, as though he metaphorically "ressurected" Beth. I likened Morgan to St. Christopher, patron saint of travelers, but St. Roch was also a pilgrim.

The green(e) jasper?

It foreshadowed the antibiotics they were able to find at the veterinary college in 4x4 Indifference, it foreshadowed the “cure”. The green(e) jasper is a metaphor for the cure. It was green(e)., and therefore potentially associated with Beth. And it is closely associated with dogs and dog symbolism, through St. Roch. The green(e) jasper is Sirius symbolism.

The other day I wrote about the Way of St James, or Camino de Santiago to Santiago de Compostela. I had seen hints of a theme of travelers and pilgrimage ever since Morgan showed up after Beth’s death in 5x8 coda. We’ve recently seen Losang bring it up in TWD Daryl Dixon. As we know, the working title of TWDDD was Pilgrim, so I think it’s fair to say that the pilgrim theme has been canonically confirmed.

In part 1 I mentioned how the symbolism around St. Christopher, patron saint of travelers (including motorists, hello car/trunk symbolism) was first subtly alluded to immediately after Beth’s death, then became canonically confirmed in FTWD 6x2 Welcome To The Club. We saw Daniel, a character who had survived a gunshot to the head, carry a St. Christopher medallion.

We later saw Madison, queen of death fake-outs in TWDU, survive getting shot point blank, in a Ford Mustang:

The St. Christopher medallion quite literally stopped the bullet and saved Madison's life. This is the type of resurrection symbolism St. Christopher provides to Beth. And it happened in a blue Ford Mustang.

St. Christopher is the patron saint of travellers, including motorists, and I would have to assume that includes kidnapped girls in trunks of cars. And the Ford Mustang symbolism is something we'we seen a lot. Most recently in TWDDD 1x6 Coming Home, when Carol drove a blue Ford Mustang and happened to lock some poor unsuspecting fellow (joking, he had it coming) into the trunk of said blue Ford Mustang...

Read more on Ford Mustangs and why they're resurrection symbolism here and here.

The symbolism around pilgrims was for a long time merely subtle clues, and I was entirely prepared to admit I was reading too much into something that existed mostly in my own head. However, with Losang explicitly mentioning Santiago de Compostela in TWDDD 1x6 Comimg Home, the symbolism of St. James Way, or Camino de Santiago became canon. Just like the symbolism around St. Christopher became canon in FTWD 6x2.

I started researching the symbolism pertaining to St. Roch around the same time, and I think it's just a matter of time before he will become explicitly mentioned too, canonically confirming the symbolism, just like St. Christopher and Santiago de Compostela. I believe we will hear about him soon.

[endataraxia]

sage forest mental institution.

chapter 4. in which you dissociate the day away. word count: 3.5k note: im not gonna lie at this point this fic is so bad i'm gonna label it crack so at least it seems like it's bad on purpose /hj cw: dissociation. descriptions of domestic abuse. READ NO FURTHER IF YOU CAN'T it's the paragraph literally under here.

Dissociation. It’s a pretty foreign feeling to you, and yet it’s so familiar. You can’t place where you felt this before, almost like deja vu, but with an aftertaste of impending doom. It was a topic you’d researched extensively back in your old home—no, house. Scouring the breadths and depths of the Internet was your entire coping mechanism back in the day and your occasional background music would be the smashing of glass, your mother crying and your father’s yelling reverberating across the walls. You liked to call it something of a live, interactive band, because sometimes if you were lucky your father would come barging into your room in his drunken anger, grab you by the hair and throw you against the bed, or the wall if you were particularly unlucky.

Sometimes you wished you’d be able to cut your hair short. But your mother would threaten you with a kitchen knife, crying and screaming that she only had one daughter and she would not have a son. Your poor (?) mother had an innate fear of men, so you’d understand where she was coming from, but you hated her nonetheless, and that hatred still resides in your heart.

“…not enough, you can ask for more. We should be able to lend you some of ours.”

You blink and jerk back to life.

“Are you okay.” It’s more of a perfunctory sentence than a genuine question. Hoodie gazes almost blankly at you.

“Um. Yeah. Sorry.” You try to keep your answer as short as possible. When faced with law enforcement officers, it is advised to keep your answers as short as possible and not to give away any information that’s not required of you, is what you always read on Reddit under r/getoutoftrouble or whatever it was named. The “sorry” at the end is just insurance for your life.

Masky gives you a look, then returns to droning on about household rules. Stay out of others’ ways, don’t play with Ben unless you’re looking for nightmare fuel, stay especially away from Jeff, don’t eat anything in the freezer that’s labelled because those are human organs for EJ’s consumption, don’t talk to EJ about his diet (which you already did and are now concerned for your life), and don’t go looking for The Operator, or as the proxies are to address him, their master.

Sometime halfway through showing you around the mansion, each proxy would disappear one at a time, leaving the other two still in their ridiculous hospital getups to continue bringing you around. The first to go was Hoodie, who came back in, like his namesake, a yellow hoodie. The second was Masky, who came back in a tan jacket. Just as you thought they’d both just let Toby walk around in his hospital gown, he left, and came back in a brown-and-blue hoodie and orange goggles sitting atop his head, his cheek bandage nowhere to be seen. It was only then that you saw his cheek wound.

You still stare at it now and then, the wound going all the way through to expose his teeth, leaving you wondering just what the hell this boy has been, going so far as to bite his cheek so often that there’s now nothing left to bite.

Besides those few moments, the house tour, which is actually not as fun as it sounds because you are at the mercy of these people, is a blur. The only thing comforting you is the fact that you got your own room, which leads you to believe that they’ll keep you alive, at least for a while.

“Lock your door just in case, so Jeff and EJ can’t come in. Though the Operator is powerful and could easily guard you himself, he’s never explicitly stated that you will be protected from harm. He only needs you alive,” explains Masky. You appreciate that they’re looking out for you, though it’s not straight-up protection. Still, it’s a luxury; they could just leave you to fend for yourself.

“We’ll be keeping spare keys to your room. Don’t try anything. I’ll break both your legs, reset them, then break them again,” reiterates Masky. But honestly, you’re far past trying anything. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Well, the last part probably isn’t true, but it’s either you maintain your status or gain something. Either way, your life can’t get worse…unless they torture you, or you start hoping for some unrealistic shit like being able to escape for freedom. That, you could lose. Hope is a precious thing, and you’d rather not conjure it out of nowhere just to lose it. You’re given food, shelter and clothing. You can’t get greedy.

You next find yourself in The Operator’s office. Again, you have no idea what to expect; this whole day has been an absolute mindfuck. But this office isn’t anything fancy, nor is it bare-bones. It’s just…a desk, a chair, and…nothing else. You either can’t process what’s going on in your state of dissociation, or you’re not meant to perceive what it is. Indeed, The Operator is powerful, and can alter your perception of things.

You aren’t given a seat to sit in.

Leave us, he commands his three proxies, and they retreat. You wonder if they’re willingly working for him.

The Operator’s hands are large, fingers bony and fingernails extending into claws. They’re placed on the table, fingers interlinked with each other. You’re reminded of a Disney villain or something equally cheesy, but you remember that if he has telepathic powers then he can probably read your mind or something, and your life is in his hands, so you immediately cut off that train of thought.

You, begins the voice in your head, are to keep my proxies from insanity. If they fall to it… He leans forward. Static begins to fill your mind, and you feel your own sanity slipping from your grasp. You see red. You lose control of your body.

Just as quickly as it appeared, it disappears. You’re on the floor.

It would be in your best interests to keep their insanity at bay. You are hereby allowed to administer whatever form of treatment you believe to be most effective. However, he pauses here, I see through my proxies’ eyes and ears. I will know whether you try to defy me. That is all.

Before you even manage to say “huh” in a really, really dumb voice, a door appears in front of you, identical to the one that leads to the office. Just as you wonder how the fuck he made a door appear, you realize that you’re outside his office, and you feel the presence of the three men behind you. You have no time to think about whether or not he was being literal. If he wasn’t, that was a really shitty riddle.

Slowly, you stand up, carefully brushing any dust off your uniform before realizing the interior of the mansion is surprisingly clean and you’re just obnoxiously brushing nothing off you. Saving yourself from second-hand embarrassment from your own actions, you cut that train of thought off in favor of wondering how much information has been imparted to his proxies. And anyway, what the fuck is this Operator guy on? You want to believe that he actually gave a shit about these three, but don’t want to jump to conclusions. Given the authority to administer whatever treatment you want, you’ll be able to extract information out of them.

As you wonder what kind of treatment The Operator meant for you to administer, you flick through multiple options in your mind. Talking to them, saving them from insanity…

Therapy?

No fucking way, some faceless fuck brought you all the way here to give his three little servants therapy.

At this thought, you howl with unrestrained laughter. Laughter containing your amusement at the situation, containing your despair at this situation, your confusion, your anger, everything. You just wanted a goddamn normal life. Now you have to give therapy? Damn, you really just found something floating in thin air for you to lose. Your prospects of having a normal life.

God damn, you really are God’s strongest soldier.

God favors me, God favors me, God favors me, you try to convince yourself.

“Ahem.”

Oh fuck, you forgot that there are three whole ass men behind you.

“Oh. Uh, yeah. Ahaha.” You highly doubt that you’ve said anything intelligent today, so you try to convince yourself that it’s okay and it’s valid and whatnot. Oh yeah, so very valid. But aside from that, you have no idea how to break it to these three that you’ve been brought here alive just so you can give them therapy. Knowing most people’s reactions to therapy in your area, namely “Therapy is for pussies and the crazy,” you wonder how horribly this can go, so you briefly consider not telling them anything and just hitting them up all like, “Hey, any pressing issues that are stressing you out right now? We can talk about your feelings.”

One thing at a time, you remind yourself, before asking, “Any spare rooms around here?”

For better or worse, they show no signs of judging. Toby’s shoulders jerk every so often, fidgeting with his hands and peeling skin off his dry lips, but aside from that, he doesn’t seem to be judging you either.

“Yes,” replies Hoodie. “Come.” As he nods at his companions, signaling something that leads them to leave you both, you hope this spare room isn’t right next to The Operator’s office.

Thankfully, it isn’t. It is, however, run-down.

Hoodie flicks the light switch on, and it’s…an interrogation room? White walls, greenish-blue tiled floors, a mirror behind the table, a rickety old chair and what seems to be handles on the table for handcuffs to slip through. Upon noticing your visible confusion, he speaks. “This room is the only spare we have at the moment. We don’t really use it anymore. Nowadays we take them straight to the dungeons.” You have no idea how to respond.

“Okay.” Is what you settle for. You want to bang your head on the metal interrogation table. “Is there, like, a store room or something? For furniture and decorations and whatnot…” Nice save.

The man before you pauses. “No.” Then he adds, “Write down what you need. We’ll get it for you.” You briefly wonder how they’re going to procure what you need, but then decide that you probably don’t want to know.

After Hoodie leaves, telling you he’ll get you a pen and paper, you sit down on the old chair and make yourself comfortable after making sure it won’t break beneath your weight. For the first time today, you’re left alone and able to think about all that has transpired today.

“So I tried to work my job.”

Uh-huh, replies your second inner monologue, like an angel and a devil, except both are now equally confused.

“My coworker tells me I don’t have to do shit and then skips off.”

That’s right.

“Then I see a patient and try to carry out my job.”

Yep.

“It was probably not a patient. Wait, it probably was. Wait, what the fuck am I gonna do? I just let my responsibilities escape.”

You’re a victim of kidnapping and technically off the grid. Society and rules don’t apply here.

“Right. Anyways, he tries to kill me.”

Yes.

“Then this dude named Masky saves my ass. And then him and the not-patient threaten me and manage to free their friend, then I shove them all back into the cell because I’m so fucking smart.”

Yeah.

“Then I come across a nice guy. He’s not a nice guy, he’s a cannibal. He saves me from not-patient, then tries to eat me. Then a floating Link cosplayer pops up, and I have no idea where he is now, and tells all of us that I’m supposed to be alive. Then they pop me into a truck and drive off, and I have no idea where I am right now, or what time it even is.”

Correct, check, all accounted for. Except you don’t know what time it is, where you are, and whether you’ll live to see the next day.

It’s now that a pen and paper slide over to you, and now you’re worried about how much Hoodie has heard.

“…when did you get here?” You ask meekly.

“You have no idea where you are and what time it is. It’s 5.57pm. You’re free to use whatever you need in the kitchen. And give us the list by 9pm,” He states flatly.

Okay, those answer all your questions. It could be a lot worse, like an actual kidnapping where you’re given absolutely zero information.

Hoodie slips out of the doorway, expression as unrevealing as ever, and closes the door. You don’t hear the lock click, a silent signal that you’re free to leave this room if you want. You really wonder why they’re not straight-up restraining you right now, but then again, how do you give someone therapy when you’re all tied up? And why even would you drag a rando to give your proxies therapy? Huge plot hole. Even if you were asylum staff, there’s no guarantee you’re actually able to treat them, especially since staff there were notorious for poor handling of patients…

You come to the conclusion that no way in hell The Operator, such a powerful entity, would call on someone as incompetent as the average asylum worker to treat his own proxies. He would choose based on merit and skill, but how would he even determine that? Does he have an archive of every single human in existence or something?

Doesn’t matter. You finish up the list, which is probably more akin to a half-hearted scrawl of the bare bones you’ll need for the office. Bean bags, a table and a carpet large enough to cover up these ugly goddamn tiles. And that’s pretty much it, aside from some simple writing equipment— files for each member of the household (save for The Operator, you fear at the idea of having to treat him) and a couple stacks of foolscap paper, along with some pens. You also throw in a sketchbook, pencils and erasers because why not. It’s time to learn a new motherfucking skill while you’re in this hellhole.

You’re pretty much only “awake”, that is to say, not spaced out when you try to find your way down to the kitchen. Given your dissociated state earlier, you expect not to be able to find it and instead get lost so fantastically you end up in the backrooms or something, but your muscle memory seems to bring you to the place you actually intend to be, conversation flooding the hall from inside the kitchen. It’s faint, but it gets louder as you approach. Very, very loud.

“Tobias Erin Rogers, I swear to fuck if you don’t come down here right now—”

“WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO, HUH?”

“I will kick your fucking ass!”

“NICE TRY, GRANDPA, I DON’T FEEL PAIN!” A whistle and a whoop.

You’re met with the sight of Toby perched on the top of the refrigerator, Masky’s face an angry red (because he’s literally angry), hands on his hips like he’s a 40-year-old mother scolding her child, and Hoodie pinching the bridge of his nose. All heads turn to you the moment you approach, which is kind of…no, absolutely fucking creepy.

You stand there. You have absolutely no idea what to do. Hell, you’re hungry as fuck, but if it saves you from awkwardness you’ll just grab a glass of tap water and run.

“Hey, Y/N!” Toby chirps like a baby bird, which is very strange given his size as a full-grown adult male.

“Uh…hey, Toby,” you choke out, forcing a smile as you awkwardly shuffle between the men to grab yourself something, anything, to pretend you know what you’re doing and you’re totally not panicking right now. Yes, you are composed, in control.

Then a loud THUD sounds behind you and you feel a presence very close behind you.

“Whatcha doooooin?”

You never, EVER expected to hear that annoying phrase after you left elementary school.

“I’m. I’m, uhhhh…” You chide yourself for literally not having spoken a single proper sentence today. God, you’re so off your game.

“You want the chili, right? I gotchu!” He speaks so fast, it’s a wonder he doesn’t trip over his words, though he does stutter a fair bit. A stupidly lanky arm reaches up over your head to the highest shelf and grabs you a jar of chili, then plops it into your hands. You stare at it and contemplate if you should take the entire thing and book it out of this situation. Fuck your spice tolerance, there are two men who are currently definitely staring at you right now, making a fool of yourself.

“For god’s sake, Toby, why the fuck would she want the fucking chili?” Groans Masky from the corner of the kitchen. He probably shifted his position since his little monkey brother jumped down from the fridge.

“I like it! I want some!”

“Not everyone eats it straight out of the jar, Toby.” Deadpans Hoodie.

Your head whips around to face the boy.

TOBY EATS IT STRAIGHT OUT OF THE FUCKING JAR????

He grins innocently at you. “I can—mm, fuck—can’t feel pain!” He proclaims it like he’s won the Nobel Prize for it. Your concern for this boy grows by the second.

“That’s…good to know, Toby,” you reply, then curse yourself for being an in-real-life dry texter. “What can you feel, then?”

The boy seems to think for a bit. “Hmmm, I can feel pressure… and I can’t feel tem-whu-woo, fuck—tempera��woo!…” His brows furrow as he concentrates, but you feel some frustration coming off him too.

“Take your time, Toby,” you reassure, now feeling a genuine human connection with this boy. Maybe he’s not that bad. “You can do it.”

“Temper-rature!” His face lights up at his success. “Temperrature!—woo!” He throws his fists up in the air as celebration and you feel an impossibly strong urge to protect this boy.

“Well done, Toby.” You find yourself smiling at him, surprisingly, which causes him to gasp.

“Y-y-you see that, guys? Ha, Y/N’s smiling! A-a-at me!” He beams, then wraps his arms around your waist, lifting you up into a painfully tight hug.

“Ah… Toby, too tight…” You wince. He stutters an apology and puts you down, then sprints away.

Now, you’re no genius, but you know something’s up with that boy. You look to the other two for, hopefully, an answer.

Hoodie answers your unasked question. “Toby has something called BPD. Borderline personality disorder. It tends to affect his relationship with other people,” he states, but doesn’t elaborate. A test of your knowledge?

“I see,” is your short reply; you’re still processing the information you were provided first-hand. Should you write this down? “Thank you, Hoodie.”

“Call me Brian,” he corrects gently.

“Oh. Brian it is, then.” Huh, he doesn’t seem so touchy with his real name, unlike Masky. “And that’s Tim,” he says, nodding at Masky. Okay, guess not. This time, he elaborates. “You’re the only human from normal society for miles here. You may as well call us by our…human names.” Must be a way to preserve their sanity, then.

“I’m Y/N. Nice to formally meet you,” you say with a polite smile and an extension of your hand. Brian takes it and shakes your hand, a firm grasp on it and a hint of practice in it. This guy knows what he’s doing. “And you as well, Tim.” It’s his turn to shake your hand, and he grunts and shakes it too, with a significantly stronger hold, just enough for it not to hurt. Youch. Must be the aggressive type.

With a polite nod of acknowledgement, you confidently leave the kitchen, before stopping in your tracks.

You forgot your food.

plot twist you're an underqualified therapist ig. part 5 coming soon. chapter 5 is out.

[miryum]

Foundling Villa- Chapter 5

Royal!Charles Leclerc x Reader. Princess Y/n is arranged to marry Prince Charles. There will be many ups and downs that the author hasn’t planned out yet, but read along to find out more! (Yes, I know that sounds super cheesy) Warnings per chapter. Hope you guys enjoy!

Tag list (wow, that's a thing now for this): @notleclerc @sunsumonner

Warnings: mentions of sex, swearing, shitty parents, alcohol, and literally only the word r*pe once time, but only in a passing thought

ao3 link  next chapter>>

“Salut!” The room uproariously cheered. Everyone raised their glasses towards the high table. Your smile was forced as you lifted your goblet with them and downed the wine. Charles cracked a grin of his own. He couldn’t stop thinking about the kiss. You had seemed so reluctant, yet formal about it. Charles knew the kiss was mandatory, but you had stared at him with such sadness and hopelessness that he felt bad.

It didn’t matter now. You two were married, after all.

Still, Charles couldn’t help but dread the upcoming wedding night. 

Your hand was still clutched in his and Charles couldn’t find the energy to let it go. Joined together, a symbol of how the two of you were under the law, your hands sat on the head table where your immediate families sat with you. The toasts to good health, marriage, and fertility had seemed to go on forever and Charles couldn’t get more than a few bites of food in without feeling sick.

Your mother leaned over to whisper in your ear, “smile, Y/n. You look like you’ve married the Devil. This is not the worst thing that could happen to you.”

“Isn’t it time for the first dance?” Queen Pascale smiled tightly and tapped the table sharply.

Arthur nodded and stood. “Ladies and Gentlemen of the court, I am pleased to present Prince and Princess Leclerc of Enza in their first dance as husband and wife!” 

Prince Charles rose to his feet, your hand rising with him. “My lady,” he mumbled. 

You fisted your dress in your hand and manoeuvred around the chairs at the high table. Prince Charles waited patiently. 

As you descended the steps with your husband, the court clapped politely and cleared a space in the middle of the floor.

Prince Charles guided you to the open space where you were surrounded by people you didn’t know. Musicians softly started playing a loving, haunting tune and Prince Charles bowed to you before you returned the gesture by curtsying. 

It was a customary wedding dance; you had seen it many times before, yet it was unsettling to be performing it yourself. You tried to remember all the movements. Step forward, arm out, step back, and spin. You knew that if you messed up, the court would remember it forever. Prince Charles pressed a hand to the small of your back to steady you for a twirl. Instinctively, you pulled away. He tugged you back towards him in warning. 

“Do you find it interesting that Redull diplomats are here?” you asked as Prince Charles and you danced to the left and then the right. 

“Are you seriously talking about foreign policy during our first dance?” Prince Charles stifled a laugh. 

“What else am I to talk about?” You were genuinely confused. Wouldn’t the remainder of your life be talking about civil things that didn’t interest you, but were appropriate enough for court? Yet how would that differ from your life in Williams? 

Prince Charles shrugged. “What do normal people talk about during their first dance?” 

“I wouldn’t know.” 

Prince Charles sighed and conceded, “yes. I think it odd that Redull representatives are present. But they were invited. Every leader from every kingdom was.”

You groaned. “Are we now obligated to attend their events as well?” 

“I’m afraid so,” Prince Charles couldn't suppress a chuckle. Queen Pascale and Brenda both smiled at the prince’s laugh. 

“Such a pity. Why can’t Prince Lorenzo be the one to frequent their events?” 

“Lorenzo takes care of the domestic affairs. I’m the face of Enza, being the spokesperson of the Leclerc’s. Arthur, being the young and cute one, often visits the villages and towns of Enza and maintains connections with the people. We all have our roles. If need be, we relay issues back to our father,” Prince Charles explained to you, still waltzing. 

“I guess you’re right,” you hummed. “Arthur is the cute one.” 

Prince Charles rolled his eyes. “I’m glad you think that. At least one of the Leclerc’s has your approval.” 

“Not just Arthur.” You paused before adding, “your mother too.” Prince Charles laughed loudly that time, drawing the attention of the room. Nobles whispered to each other about how the princess of Williams and the prince of Enza were lucky to have found each other; a happy arranged marriage was very rare. 

With one last flourish, the musicians ended their song, prompting you and Prince Charles to release hands and bow to one another. Other royals soon swarmed the dance floor and the wedding was once again full of lively chatter.

“Prince Leclerc,” a man placed a hand on Charles’ shoulder after he exited the dance floor, you still on his arm. 

“Prince Verstappen,” Charles greeted Redull’s prince.

“A wonderful wedding and a wonderful bride,” Prince Verstappen congratulated Charles. “I hope for bright things in your future.” 

“Yours as well. How has Redull been doing? Your father?” 

“My father has been fine,” Prince Verstappen’s smile seemed forced. Charles noticed something shift in his eyes. “And Redull has been thriving. We believe our resources and trade will be expanding soon enough.” 

“What are you suggesting?” Charles clenched his jaw. He didn’t like what Prince Verstappen was hinting at. The Redull’s were known for their secrecy and he thought back to Lorenzo’s warning of a Redull army on Enza borders. 

“New prospects have opened up, is all.” Prince Verstappen grinned. “To the new princess of Enza,” he raised his glass towards you.

Charles placed his free hand on top of yours, nodding stoically at Prince Verstappen. You lifted a brow at Prince Charles’s non-mandatory physical contact. “Thank you,” Charles said before whisking you off to the high table. He didn’t like what Prince Verstappen was implying, especially around you. If things were to reach a boiling point, he would much rather do it when you were out of the vicinity and harms way.

“What was that about?” you asked, letting Prince Charles hand you off to your father.

“Nothing to worry about,” he said. “If you don’t mind, I need to discuss something with my brothers, but I’m sure King L/n wouldn’t mind dancing with you?”

“Not at all!” your father said, taking your hand. “I’ve been looking forward to dancing with my newlywed daughter.” 

Charles instantly noticed a change in your demeanour. Keeping your head and eyes lowered, you shrunk into yourself while dancing with your father. Your lips hardly moved when answering his questions, and you only allowed yourself the customary touch. Charles wasn’t sure, but he would expect a daughter to be more loving and embrace her father. 

He would talk to you about it later. 

“Lorenzo, Arthur,” he found his brothers conversing with a small group of Enza’s lords and advisors, all with tunics or jackets sporting Enza colours. The group bombarded Charles with congratulations but he quickly brushed them off, not before letting a small, genuine smile push into his features. 

“You’re not happy on your wedding day?!” a knight, Daniel, cried out. 

“Yes, I’m very happy,” Charles said with a bit more truth than he would ever admit. “But I’m more concerned with Redull right now.”

“What happened?” A lord, Carlos, asked.

“Prince Verstappen…” Charles trailed off, unsure of how to phrase his words. “Prince Verstappen was bragging about Redull’s trade expansion. Do we have any information about that? On what they could possibly be planning?”

“Mate,” his best friend, Pierre, clapped him on the back. “You shouldn’t be worrying about that shit tonight. Give it a week or two and I’m sure it’ll all be sorted out. If it’s not, then we’ll worry about it.”

“Alright, yeah,” Charles conceded.

“Now go rescue your wife,” Daniel pushed him towards the dance floor. “I’m not sure a bride should look so nervous.”

Indeed, you were anxious. All you wanted to do was find your siblings and leave the stuffy, overcrowded room full of people intent on speaking with you. 

When you spotted Brenda and Ralph across the floor, you were relieved. So, when Prince Charles swooped in and gently grabbed your arm, you were less than pleased. 

“Yes?” your tone had an under layer of unnecessary harshness. You marched on, focusing on the end goal of your sister and brother. Prince Charles quickly matched your pace to follow.

“I wanted to see how you were faring. It seems like quite a few lords and ladies want to get on the good side of the princess of Enza.”

“They should know it’s fruitless.” 

“Wow,” Charles smirked. “Not letting people into your circle, are you?” 

You scoffed. “My circle consists of me. I hate to disappoint, but the moment I crossed the border, everyone else I trusted evaporated.” 

Charles frowned and said, “you didn’t want to come here.” It wasn’t a question. 

“If that wasn’t clear, then maybe I should avoid you more.”

“We promised to be hospitable to one another!” Charles protested, trying to keep his voice low so prying ears wouldn’t pick up the potential gossip like vultures looking for their next meal. “I’ve held up my end of the bargain, yet you’ve let your end fall.” 

“Every couple has their lovers quarrels,” you finally caught the eye of your brother, silently signalling for aid.

Charles, at an unusual loss for words, watched helplessly as Ralph whisked you away to the dance floor. Your brother whispered something in your ear and you engaged him in fervent conversation. 

“You’ll treat her well?” Brenda appeared at his side. Charles jumped slightly before taking a glass of wine from a passing servant and swallowing it in one gulp. 

“Of course,” Charles muttered. He was tired of people asking him that. Did they expect him to be a heartless monster that beat or raped you? He was going to make sure you were happy; albeit that being as far as he went. If you were unable to meet him halfway, Charles was more than inclined to ignore you. 

“And you’ll visit her?” Brenda pressed her lips to her own wine glass. 

“Pardon?” Charles glanced over at your sister, brows furrowing. 

“Visit her,” Brenda repeated. “At the Villa?” 

“What villa? What are you going on about?” 

“Oh, shit.” Brenda sucked in a breath through her teeth. “I hadn’t realised she hadn’t told you yet. Forget this ever happened. I’m sure Y/n will inform you soon. It’s nothing for you to worry about.” 

“Princess Brenda,” Charles said. “Is this something I should be aware of?” 

“These are not my details to disclose.” Brenda lifted her goblet in goodbye. 

What was she talking about? Charles wondered. Visiting you? Were you leaving? He was unaware of a trip you had scheduled, and that was something he thought he should know about. Before he could go question you, however, a bell tolled loudly, signalling it to be ten o’clock. 

Internally, he cursed as every member of the court in his vicinity turned to stare at him. Seeing as every activity had stopped, he easily found you in the crowd. As Charles walked towards you, he noted your sunken eyes and the way the grip on your brother tightened. 

“Princess,” he murmured, offering his arm. You took it without a word. 

“Good luck,” Ralph whispered. You looked back and offered a smile that didn’t reach your eyes. 

As you and Prince Charles exited the room to a loud ovation, you wanted to sigh heavily. It was odd enough that the guests continued partying while you and the Prince consummated the marriage; it was weirder that they knew about it.

[seokjinsonlyone]

most to least likely to end up with someone black

hoseok: idk i just get this feeling this vibe likeeeee it just make sense i see it like the way he carry himself like just look at the chicken noodle soup mv and tell me u can't see it and he literally has a song with j cole and if he in there with coleworld he is def in there wit da fam and then we got the whole time he had tinashe as his lockscreen and we all seen the my universe video like he took ole alien girl home idc idc and overall he just reminds me of my grandma so it make sense

jimin: no limit babe like i've seen this man bark at the thought of usher; and in general this year especially including his album jimin has just really been existing in spaces i didn't expect him to see and i am more than pleasantly surprised. like originally when i first made this he was near the bottom idk why bc he's literally performed to take you down but yeah he def up there now. like y'all remember that photo of him wit da choir for set me free SPEAKING OF SET ME FREE F YA OPPS?1!!1 HENNESSY AT NIGHT⁉️ LIKE IF BLACK PEOPLE HAD A REPRESENTATIVE BRAND OF LIQUOR IT WOULD BE HENNESSY LIKE COME ON and then just his personality is soooo i can't explain why he's all the way up here in this list properly but source: trust me bro

joon: listen we all know that joon be looking and be listening like he has a song with erykah badu with wale with anderson paak he be listening to musiq soulchild he is just made for a black woman (me) but he is a little further down on the list than i expected to put him only bc joon is just so korean and he loves korea and being korean that he might wanna keep it the country idk he definitely down for it tho we know he be looking and frfr this is just insurance for myself so if it don't happen i won't feel publicly played bc i called it but just know imma be somewhere on a ledge with my head in my hands wondering if i should do it or not okay kskslsk

yoon: u know i originally had yoongi near the bottom of the list solely bc he was a workaholic homebody and i was like he is not ending up with nobody much less somebody black if he spent all his time in his studio but now he in his social traveling era and i'm just like 🧐 bc clearly he has the ability to uphold foreign relationships (i.e. max, halsey...) and then i think about how he had all black backup dancers for his tonight show performance like i mean i'm not sure how much say they have in that kind of thing but it felt real deliberate to me and then there's the fact that yoongi just has the ability to look comfortable like he fit in anywhere like i'm thinking of that one photo where he was with one of juicewrld's producers and made homeboy look like he was the outsider in his own studio and then on tour it's clear that he got that dawg in him like he can handle his own he can handle ME which is crazy bc i be looking at men and knowing i'm way out of their depth but i'm telling you yoongi had the power to make me not look at jimin which is an insane ability so I'M JS idk if he would but he fo sho could if he wanted he got that lil poker face going so i'm not extremely confident but i can see it

jungkook: i’m not gon mention the fact that he said he liked girls with healthy sun kissed skin after that trip to la on american hustle life imma just leave that out i’ll also leave out normani at the bbmas what i will talk about is them meeting ms megan now ik jk claiming he ain’t shy no more but he still don’t be saying much except for when he met ms megan homeboy was showing up and showing out dancing talking teaching the choreo cackling for no reason man was grinning from ear to ear whole time nose got the workout of a lifetime from being continuously scrunched ALSO i mention this at least once a week but that r&b playlist he had going while he was folding his underwear???? my naega my naega u ain't listening to bryson tiller unless u is down for the cause but all this to say that it's really up in the air with him like as much as he could there is equal chance that he could not like he just got that pop propensity that sways him to the dark side but i could also see him ending up with someone east asian just as well which is fine with me or at least as fine as i can be knowing he's not with me

jin: as he is a permanent member of my bias line it really do hurt me a small amount that he is at the bottom of this list but i know my man ��� i know mr “you can’t stop me i’m beyoncé” wouldn’t care about the racial difference at all like as long as y'all could communicate it's good in the hood and he is literally built like a black auntie like he would do so well at family functions rizzing up everybody from yo parents to yo grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins he would fit so well but like can i see it happening in reality??? idk idk he is the most unpredictable man i've ever come across so i can't say nun definitively

tae: there's a lot of reasons why he could why he should like idk man i can just see it in his eyes and then there’s like how much he loves old school soul music and his reaction to h.e.r. at the award show that shall not be named and like how he was meeting john legend and i’m also thinking about how social he is and how he likes to befriend everyone like the potential is there it's right there mind u i'm ignoring the current state of affairs but considering how enamored he is with europe like literally dressed up as a nobleman or whatever for his photobook and when he went to that old people jazz lounge and he is really into golf y'all i just don't see it fr but ya know anything's possible

[lukewarmsoapytoast]

UGH the URGE to just spam this acc with angst writing is INSANE. Sadly, I haven’t written a full-length read in a while, I’ve had college classes in the mornings and I get busy in the afternoons. So, my point is, HERE’S SOME QUOTES I CAME UP WITH OR WANT TO USE‼️‼️

Please only reuse w/ credit!

Most of these taken from irl because it was funny 😭

LET ME KNOW YOUR OPINIONS AND WHAT YOU WANT TO SEE WHAT QUOTES AND SUCH IN!!!

Quotes

•

"Of course you do, and you’re going to regret those bad decisions in the morning when you’re sober."

“What morning?”

•

“You ignore my requests like they’re food allergies at a foreign restaurant and you wonder why I wanna hang out with girls more.”

•

“I wish I could love you, too.”

•

“It’s because I’m in love with you.”

“Because you wha—oh my god, it all makes sense now.”

•

"Alright, alright, I’ll tell you. But you can't laugh, okay? Promise me you’ll listen without judgment."

“I mean unless you say that you managed to kill a god, I won’t laugh.”

“Gee, thanks for the vote of confidence.”

•

“My love…You— You know there isn’t any recovering from this, the medics won’t arrive in time, I-I’ll die. I deserve to be made fun of for being that stupid, but I don’t regret my choice…saving you was my goal overall in life, my purpose, and I succeeded..I can die happy, but you need to let me go, first.”

•

“And how am I supposed to believe you, huh? You wanna bring that fucking whore in to confirm that you still love me? That you regret fucking her over and over, and over, repeatedly, on our own damn bed??”

“[First Name], I—”

“It’s [Last Name] now, that’s what you’ll be referring to me as. No more pet names, no more first name. Goodbye, find somebody else to manipulate.”

•

“Dude, you literally shot me.”

“I was beat as a child, do you hate me, do you want me dead, I know you do, I understand—”

•

“I have a penis and it isn’t mine. ☺️”

“Uhh, what?”

“You heard me.”

“Where r u rn??”

“I’m w ur mom”

“Bruh”

“The party you told me not to go to.”

“Omw.”

•

“If you could have any superpower, what would it be?”

“😈”

“Uh oh? Please tell me you haven’t written an essay about this already and I happened to send that around the time you finished it.”

“I think I'd have the ability to persuade people. It's nothing special but imagine how much success you could end up having and also how many people you could befriend. I like having friends. ALSO you can stop any wars with just a "Stop pretty pls 🥺👉👈" like it's the best superpower. You could save the world with it basically, screw pollution”

“Dear god, keep going. I’m interested.”

“People who wanna fly are confusing, like, go skydiving or something like that, pull a hiccup from HTTYD. And why obtain invisibility when you can just tell people you aren’t there?”

“Wait, you’ve got a point.”

“Somebody asking why we’re stalking them? Hit them with the ‘NUH UH! I’M NOT EVEN HERE, BABY! I’M A HALLUCINATION!’. That’ll win.”

“Oh my god you’re onto something.”

“Someone trying to end the world? Nope. ‘Pretty pls be a good person 🥺’ them.”

“How long have you been thinking about this?”

“Since you asked.”

“YOU THOUGHT THAT UP THAT QUICKLY???”

•

"What if he thinks I'm being dense?"

"Then he'll stop liking you. Problem solved."

Ideas

•

When they're constantly assuring as they lay dying, "I'm fine, I'll be okay, don't worry about me, l'll live." But their final words, whispered, barely audible,

"I don't want to die."

•

“I’ll be there for you”, “I’m sorry”, “I love you”, over and over again. “don’t hurt yourself”, “We need a break”, “I need you”, All of this, but you never mean it. Never. Not when I need you, your mistakes are a record on loop, your love is as present as my father. You don’t care if I hurt myself, especially because you hurt me. Can this break last forever? You need me to do as you say, you don’t need me there.

•

If HS!Gojo had a crush he’d confess like this:

(Texting)

“Let’s go on a date, do you like sex? Lol. <3”

•

Chr picks up a completely dry and closed jar of salsa.

“Salsaaaa…”

Something drips on their toe.

“Is…Is it wet?”

Frantically checking the jar for water droplets or cracks. Nothing.

“Excuse me???”

Confused.

“WHY???”

Concerned.

•

Father telling small adopted demon child to stay behind while they search for a plushie.

"Perhaps you should stay here, honey. This is no place for a child anyways. I'm sure we don't want you getting kidnapped by some kind of murderer, do we?"

"👹" Foaming at the mouth.

"Dear god, what have I done?"

•

Two characters arguing in a group chat over who’s hotter and it turns into an argument over who would be a better boyfriend to you. This is how you make your grand entrance.

“What did I just stumble upon at this very unfortunate hour. I wish to die.”

[imagibunny]

do you have any favorite horror movies? in general i mean

GOD YOU HAVE ASKED THE WRONG PERSON

i'm. picky about horror i watch. quite possibly a bunch of it is cult classics, indie films, or just really obscure things i don't really think people have seen

for example, outside of like. the child's play movies and the latest scream movies, i don't particularly care for any horror mainstays like jason, freddy, leatherface, ect ect. they're just not interesting to me

HOWEVER

i have Varrying different favorites depending on catagory because i am a freak

favorite anthology;

trick r treat. this has been MY MOVIE since i saw it back when i was a kid. sam is my son boy allowed and i am one sidedly fighting his va for who has the most sam merch (don't ask me about the supposed sequel that's been announced for over a decade i hate the director)

runners up;

the v/h/s series and the abcs of death movies. v/h/s is fun and i LOVE the later instalments (especially 98 and 99) but the first 3 were kinda weak?? and god i hated the first ones wrap around story arc. abcs of death are honestly just really fun!! love seeing all the different ways people can interpret their word they got and can get silly with it (SHOUT OUT TO W FROM THE FIRST ONE AND P FROM THE SECOND I LOVE THE SILLY SHORTS SM)

favorite found footage:

paranaormal activity. i'm normal about it (is not) pa1 changed my brain chemistry idk what else you want me to tell u kjnKJD. i however am very insistant on watching it IN THE CORRECT ORDER, which means i more often then not have to watch it alone. don't ask me about "next of kin" i hate it it's bad it's worst then ghost dimension. pagd actually stayed on story and gave us closure and a finale!! nok just feels. like they said "oh pa is just about recording a demon obsessed with a woman" NO IT'S NOT YOU BOZOS I'M HOLDING YOU HOSTAGE TO WATCH THE MOVIES AGAIN

runners up;

quarentine. let it be known i AM AWARE this is a remake of rec, i just ended up seeing quarentine first and havent had the time to see the rec movies. i definately want to though, quarentine was a fun zombie movie

favorite mockumentary:

ABSOLUTE TIE BETWEEN SAVAGELAND AND THE RISE OF LESLIE VARNOM. savageland is just Really solid and i love the inclusion of the photos and the 3d map and everything OOOOO I LOVE IT!! behind the mask is a favorite for another reason and that is leslie varnom my little freak. i know he's a serial killer but he's so SILLY! i'm putting him in a bug cage to study him as we speak thank you. a bit upset they took away the found footage bit near the end but that ending has me holding out my wallet ready to fund a sequel movie <3

runner up;

the tunnel! it's only a runner up cause i just recently watched it, i know in my HEART if i had watched it longer ago it would've been a top favorite

favorite foreign horror:

i'm grabbing gonjiam haunted asylum LIKE A SQUEAKY TOY. it's basically a korean grave encounters but the difference here is that it's good /lh

runner up:

ONE MISSED CALL. i originally watched the eng remake with my dad but gave the original japanese version a go after finding out it exists and OOHHHHHHHH OHHHHHHHH!!!!!! /pos literally the only reason it's not my favorite is because my father (derogatory) set the ringtone from the movie as HIS ringtone. any time his phone went off he would look at us all worried like "that's not my ringtone..." my dad's a jackass

and because i'm on a roll legally i can say anything by eli roth fucking SUCKS. granted this man is a zionist so he fucking sucks in the moral department, not to mention his movie "green inferno" is his adaption of "cannibal halocaust" but like. his movies are just. so Mean, and for no good reason either. i dunno man i watched hostel too young so anything with his name attached gives me bad vibes

anyways i'm sorry for rambling you unleashed the autism curse urself good luck

[babylon-crashing]

tarot of syssk [booklet]

We live as we dream ... alone. ~ Joseph Conrad.

Originally I intended to use as many gender neutral terms as possible, settling on honorific titles like Sovereign, Ruler, Mx, Sonkeigo and Sensei (both Japanese terms for teacher), but I ran out of words, so I fell back on Mother, Crone, Lord, Lady, Master and Mistress as well. I am always open to suggestions if there are other ideas.

Each card is written in English, as well as Japanese and a made-up language called Galactic Basic (Syssk's mother tongue). Since a lot of choices that I made fall under the “Rule of Cool” heading (see: it seemed like a good idea at the time) in hindsight I see how foreign languages might be confusing, as if they're hiding vital information needed to understand each card. They're not. They could be removed entirely and the card would still be the same.

The decks I consulted in designing the cards were The Rider-Waite deck, The Barbara Walker Tarot, The Hermetic Tarot and Yonas Lunata's Qabalistic Tarot.

Since symbolism only works if a person can recognize the symbols being used here are my notes for  cards that differ enough from The Rider-Waite deck as to be confusing:

[0] THE FOOL.  

Childlike. Adventurous. Spontaneous. [R] Naive. Overly Optimistic. Not looking before the leap.

Notes: In Shintoism (Japan's native religion) the Torii Gate behind Syssk represents the border between the secular world and the sacred and acts as a passageway into a shrine's sacred space. It is the cliff in The Rider-Waite deck. The beckoning good luck cat is called Maneki-Neko, and ceramic versions can be found in shops and restaurants throughout Japan as a way of welcoming customers in.

[I] THE WITCH: Onibaba.

Self-confidence. Delight in Occult studies. Talented performer. [R] Manipulation. Lies. Power for the sake of power.

Notes: Onibaba literally means, “demon woman,” and plays many roles associated with European witches and witchcraft. The symbol behind her is a bagua, used in Taoist magic to represent the fundamental principles of reality. Because this card corresponds to the Magician, I included the four elemental symbols of water, air, fire and earth, as well as a cup, a coin, a wand and a pentagram to round things out. For more information on Onibaba, I suggest Kaneto Shindo's 1964 masterpiece of the same name.

[II] HIGH PRIESTESS.

Experience. Wisdom. Intuition. Teacher. [R] Using knowledge without wisdom. Two left feet. Unbalanced.

Notes: In The Rider-Waite deck the High Priestess is static; she sits in a chair, holding a book of wisdom and not really doing anything else. Learning wisdom, however, comes in many forms and here it is all about dancing as an ancient form of praying for rain. Dressed as dragons, people would dance and beseech the gods for another fruitful year.

[III] EMPRESS.

Motherly. Growth. Nurturing. Abundance. [R] Shallow. Ignoring the bigger picture. TERF.

Notes: While the Empress here is the same as found in The Rider-Waite deck, the background depicts what royal childbirth was like in ancient Japan, which I found fascinating.

[IV] EMPEROR.

Architect. Laws. Authority figure. [R] Loves chaos. Patriarch. Control freak.

[V] HIEROPHANT.

Blending of traditions. Knows some dance steps. Gives good advice. [R] Counseling needed. Can't think for oneself. Drowning in dogma.

Notes: One of the curious strengths of Shintoism is its willingness to blend in with other, outside religions. Like the dancing found in the High Priestess, here a Shinto priest dances to Syssk's drumming, while Buddha and a Taoist monk look on.

[VI] LOVERS.

Romance. Sharing. Equal partnership. [R] Separation. Arguments. Incompatible partnership.

[VII] PALANQUIN.

Drive. Ambition. Understands what makes things go. [R] Procrastination. Mind-forg'd manacles. Can't move forward.

[VIII] STRENGTH.

Confident. In control. Inner resources. [R] Drained. Depression. Fear.

[IX] HERMIT.

Meditation. Alone by choice. Finding answers in oneself. [R] Unwanted loneliness. Withdrawn. Need for introspection.

[X] WHEEL OF FORTUNE.

Prosperity. Windfalls. Paid your dues. [R] Stuck in a rut. Refusing change. Afraid of taking chances.

[XI] JUSTICE.

Fair assessment of oneself. Desire for equality. Karma. [R] Out of balance. Unfair treatment. Ill fate.

Notes: Taking a more psychological approach to this card, Syssk looks in the mirror and sees her shadow side looking back. Until we can be impartial in judging ourselves we are unfit to judge others.

[XII] GALLOW'S TRUTH.

Sacrifice for wisdom. Suspension of disbelief. Calm before the Storm. [R] Indecision. Literal hang ups. Impatience for outcome.

[XIII] DEATH.

Cosmic transformation. New outlook. Letting go. [R] Fear of change. Living in the past. Need to let go.

[XIV] TEMPERANCE.

Blending of Heaven and Earth. Compromise. Tolerance. [R] Need for moderation. Lack of indulgence. Addiction.

[XV] DEVIL: The Four Noble Truths.

Shadow self, unhealthy attachment, addiction. [R]  Releasing one's own limiting beliefs, exploring dark thoughts, separation from the world around you.

Notes:In The Rider-Waite tarot, The Devil is all about unhealthy attachments, restrictions and fear of one’s own sexuality. In other words, all the negative aspects of your personality that you need to work on. Here I focused on an idea from Buddhism that there are four aspects of being human that no one can escape from: that [1] we all suffer, [2] our suffering has a cause, but also [3] there is a solution to end our suffering and it’s up to you to decide if you want to [4] do what it takes reach that end. The Four Noble Truths. The demon on the right side of the card comes from an ancient legend about an Oni (a mountain demon) who fell in love with Buddhism and decided to walk the path of enlightenment, even though everyone else would still only see a monster. This is, ironically, the same situation Syssk finds herself in but instead of seeing a kindred soul all she sees is an Other (an Other othering another).

[XVI] TOWER.

Chaos. Sudden Change. Destruction. [R] Time to grow and move on. Rebuilding with a clean slate.

[XVII] STAR.

Hope. Dreams. Goals. [R] Losing hope. Disillusioned. Depressed.

[XVIII] MOON.

Imagination. Visions. Infatuation. [R] Self-deception. Insecurity. Hazy understanding.

[XIX] SUN: Dancing for Amaterasu Omikami.

Dancing for liberation. Glee. Restoring cosmic order. [R] Dark days. Unfulfillment. Turning away from the light.

Notes: Another example of dancing for the divine. In the Shinto creation story, the goddess of the Sun, Amaterasu Omikami, (for complicated reasons) hid herself away in a cave and let the world grow cold and barren. The goddess of the dawn, Ame-no-Uzume, realizing that something had to be done, invited all the humans to the mouth of the cave and performed such wild dancing that the Sun goddess reemerged to see what all the laughter and dancing was about. Thus, burlesque dancing saved the world, once again.

[XX] JUDGMENT: Seppuku.

Self-annihilation only way to save face. Making logical decisions. Practicality. [R] Bad Karma. Poor Judgment. Dishonor.

Notes: Even if a person knows nothing about Japanese history they've probably at least heard of the warrior-class called the samurai and how they often committed hara kira (seppuku) ritualized cutting open of their stomachs to atone for some sort of sin. In The Rider-Waite deck, uses the Christian idea of divine judgment, with Archangel Gabriel blowing a horn and zombies rising up out of the ground, hungry for brains. Here, though, the day of judgment is always at hand since your lord might, for any reason at all, order you to commit suicide in one of the more painful ways imaginable. No salvation, no good deeds or bad deeds weighing down your soul, no sitting at the right hand of the Patriarchy, just the atrocious need to save face and the horrific lengths that some people will go to carry out their lord's wishes.

[XXI] RETURN TO THE VOID.

Endings and beginnings. Cycles. Success. [R] Delay in fulfillment. Lost. Unable to accept change.

Notes: In The Rider-Waite deck, the World is all about completion. Here Syssk's exile on Earth is over. Her rainbow UFO is fixed, she leaves terra firma for the celestial heavens, clutching her beloved katana sword, the only souvenir of her adventures that she takes with her.

[XXII] HAPPY RABBIT.

Wild Card.

Notes: This card can be left out, if one wants. It is modeled after the Happy Squirrel, a joke that appeared in an episode of The Simpsons, when Lisa goes to get a reading done. (“Is that bad?” “Perhaps, the cards are vague and mysterious.”) It has since shown up in actual decks, though for the life of me I cannot figure out what to do with it besides give a nod to Stan Sakai's epic tale of Usagi Yojimbo, a masterless samurai rabbit, who wanders the roads of Edo-period Japan and was a big influence in my formative years. I reused two of figures from the 10 of Wand's Mistress of Artful Trickery (a kitsune fox-spirit) and drummer.

__________________________________________________

[COINS]

[0] ACE OF COINS: Sovereign of the Earth's Roots.

Magnetism. Ideas for making money. Working with hands. [R] Lack of creativity. Money woes. Singing the Blues.

[2] OF COINS: Ruler of the Syndicate.

Multitasking. Business partnership. Financial harmony. [R] Trouble juggling responsibilities. Distracted. Chaos.

Notes: Originally this was titled, “Ruler of Multitasking,” since the 2 of Pentacles in The Rider-Waite deck is all about balancing multiple priorities, except “multitasking” feels like such a modern term, it just felt off. I discovered, however, that one of the older definitions of the word, “Syndicate,” concerns itself with harmonious group work … though its modern usage is almost entirely mob-related. Perhaps there is a better term somewhere.

[3] OF COINS: Lord of the Joint Venture.

Communal work. Craftsmanship. Apprenticeship. [R] Unskilled. Unprepared for upcoming tasks. Problematic individualism.

[4] OF COINS: Mx of Earthly Powers.

Working the Earth. Honest labor. Financial stability. [R] Poor stewardship. Salting the Earth. Failure to understand growth.

[5] OF COINS: Master Destitution: the Ronin's Path.

Abandoned. Living paycheck to paycheck. No security. [R] Recovering from disaster. Temporarily unemployed. Returning to work.

Notes: If a samurai was a warrior who served a lord or lady, then a samurai who had (through many different ways) lost their lord or lady was called a ronin. Sakai's Usagi Yojimbo is such a person, wandering the land on a musha shugyo (warrior's spiritual pilgrimage), occasionally selling his services as a bodyguard. Sakai, in turn, was greatly influenced by samurai movies of his childhood, such as Akira Kurosawa's Yojimbo (1961), from which Sergio Leone heavily “borrowed” the idea for his Spaghetti Western, A Fistful of Dollars (1963). The term ronin means, “to be cast adrift upon the waves,” without family, friends or financial support.

[6] OF COINS: Sensei of Resources.

Asking for what you need. Gifts. Inheritance. [R] Not getting help from others. Having to quickly pay back debts. Bad credit.

[7] OF COINS: Mst of Bitter Profit.

Hard work leaves a bad taste in one's mouth. [R] Climbing to the top. Indifference in coworkers' suffering.

[8] OF COINS: Qy of Sagacity.

Wise in the way of Money Magic. Taking on an apprentice. Education is liberation. [R] Losing interest in school or work. World-weary.

[9] OF COINS: Sonkeigo of Abundance.

Reaping what you sow. Money is stable and growing. An sea of opportunity. [R] Unexpected expenses. Exhausting one's resources.

[10] OF COINS: Mistress of Uncanny Wealth.

Finding riches in odd places. Money is good or will be so soon. Secure and stable finances. [R] Major financial loss. May have to burn down the business and flee on foot. Crazy setbacks.

[11] ONNA-MUSHA OF COINS: Champion of a Rich Harvest.

Free market rules! Beginning a new career. Abundance of merchandise. [R] Village market starting to hate you. Delays in beginning the reaping. No one wants what you're selling.

Notes: Corresponding to the Page of Pentacles, here Syssk and a friend have come to sell the rich harvest of the 4 of Coins at market. There is some debate about whether female samurai existed (why it is important for some people to say that historical warriors, like Hangaku Gozen, ‎Nakano Takeko, ‎Niijima Yae and ‎Ohori Tsuruhime weren't samurai, but rather simply high ranking women from samurai families, trained in the Way of the Blade, who fought in battles, I don't know)‎ however, the term used to describe such people is Onna-Musha. The nice thing about telling a story of a xenomorph marooned on Earth is that no one will accuse me of being historically accurate; if you can suspend your disbelief long enough to accept Syssk you can also embrace Onna-Musha as samurais as well, I suppose.

[12] SAMURAI OF COINS: Knight of the Verdant Green.

Satisfaction from an important job. Moving up in the world. Trees love you. [R] Unexpected change in job. Boss out to get you. Coworkers can't wait to see you fired.

[13] SEISHITSU OF COINS: Lady of the Forced Profits of the Earth.

Materialistic. Gold digger. Trouble handling practical money matters. [R] Unselfishness.  Generosity. Has the Golden Touch.

Notes: The Queen in The Rider-Waite deck and tying in with the 5 of Coins' concept of destitution, a wealthy elite is served the best food that the restaurant can offer while in the background, poor Syssk, without a single coin to her name, curls into a fetal ball and wishes (not for the last time) that she was back home.

[14] DAIMYO OF COINS: Lord of the Joys of Capitalism.

Good business sense. Making Robber Barons sexy again. Obsessively industrial. [R] Monopolizing power. Delights in inequality. Blind to the machinery of capitalism being oiled with the blood of the workers.

Notes: Daimyo is the term used for Kings in ancient Japan; in this case, the King of Merchants (for what it's worth.)

__________________________________________________

[CUPS]

[0] ACE OF CUPS: Sovereign of the Root of Riotous Water.

New relationships. Sensuality. Birth. [R] New relationships delayed. Next step delayed. Troubled pregnancy.

[2] OF CUPS: Ruler of the Fertile Imagination.

Romantic passion. Equal and balanced relationship. Sharing mutual feelings. [R] Unbalanced desires. Unrequited love. Not attuned to one's harmony.

[3] OF CUPS: Lord of Dubious Company.

Wild celebrations. Orgies. Going all out. [R] Fear of overindulgence. Bad family gatherings. Addiction.

[4] OF CUPS: Mx of Heinous Phantasy.

Striving for more. Dreaming large. Feeding a healthy ego. [R] Unsatisfied. Not realizing the value of one's current state. Boredom.

Notes: In The Rider-Waite deck, the 4 of Cups deals more with issues of apathy and being so narrowly focused as to ignore the world around you. Here, Syssk really loves her blue cup, to the extent that she does not see the helpful Oni (mountain demon) offer up its own, nor the horrific shadow on the wall behind her. Daydreaming is wonderful, except when the world is out to get you and you need to focus.

[5] OF CUPS: Master of the Song of Regret.

Fear of avoidance. Facing unpleasant realities. Lost in nostalgia. [R] The need for struggle. Evolution. Growing pains.

Note: Apparently Syssk can play musical instruments. Even though lover's suicides did happen I see this card more as a cautionary tale about what not to do when you're filled with regret.

[6] OF CUPS: Sensei of Childhood Memories.

Making peace with one's childhood. Past returning with new meanings. Owning one's passions. [R] Horror of family. Outgrowing a relationship or person. Becoming your own toxic parent.

Note: The Barbara Walker Tarot talks about the 6 of Cups being about childhood traumas and memories. Of course Syssk would also have some sort of parent somewhere and in this case it is Xenomorph Queen from the Alien franchise. It's a side of her past that she doesn't like to talk about, probably because the only thing xenomorphs seem to do in these movies is drool and screech … so much alien drool. Some families are so embarrassing that the only thing you can do is change your name and flee to an utterly insignificant little blue-green planet whose ape-descended life forms are so amazingly primitive that they still think digital watches are a pretty neat idea. (Thank you, Douglas Adams)

[7] OF CUPS: Mst of Uncertain Opportunities.

Discovering your inner road map. Idealism. Loving all your children ardently. [R] Too many dreams without plans. Lacking passion. Dreams turn to whimsy.

[8] OF CUPS: Qy of Abandoned Dreams.

Leaving the past behind. Owning one's loneliness. Follow through. [R] Lack of closure. Imaginary slights. Settling for the mundane.

[9] OF CUPS: Sonkeigo of the Blade.

Achieved goals and dreams. Skilled master. Uniqueness of craft. [R] Smugness. Unrealistic goals. Not knowing one's limits.

Note: One of my goals with this deck was to make it easy enough to understand so that a reader wouldn't need to know about samurai, their Bushido code of ethics and/or Japanese history (so, naturally I slapped Japanese text on each card because being inconsistent is something that I apparently strive for). The Way of the Blade is, briefly, the idea that a warrior can and will cultivate an, “implacable fighting spirit to overcome their enemies.” How one wants to define an, “implacable fighting spirit,” is left up to the reader to decide; however, for me it means honing your skills until you are a master at whatever it is that you're doing. In that way it hearkens back to The Rider-Waite idea of contentment, satisfaction and gratitude.

[10] OF CUPS: Mistress of Sublime Harmony.

Dreams coming true. Love and familiar surrounding. Comfort. [R] Happiness delayed. Troubled commitments.

[11] ONNA-MUSHA OF CUPS: Champion of Rebellious Floods.

Crossing life's floods with help. Growth from self-reflection. [R] Lack of patience for ones own needs. Need for reflection. Immaturity.

[12] SAMURAI OF CUPS: Knight of the Purifying Cascades.

Willingness to heal. Emotional growth. Spiritual meditation. [R] Ignoring pain. Pushing oneself too hard. No sense of humor.

[13] SEISHITSU OF CUPS: Lady of the Sovereignty of Waters.

Powerful. Life-giving. Cyclical like the tides. [R] Oversensitive. Chaotic emotions. Destructive love.

[14] DAIMYO OF CUPS: Lord of the Turning Waterwheel.

Karmic completion. Just parent. Gentle law maker. [R] Weak nature. Unreliable. Natural born cheater.

__________________________________________________

[SWORDS]

[0] ACE OF SWORDS: Sovereign of the Root of the Air.

Beauty. New Ideas. Empire of the senses. [R] Lacking curiosity. Overbearing. Confusion.

[2] OF SWORDS: Ruler of Peace through Power.

No compromises. Battle of wills. Standstill. [R] Reconciliation. Compromise. Accommodating difficulties.

Note: During the late Edo period in Japanese history almost every large family had a family crest that was worn on the right and left sides of their kimonos. Samurai crests usually featured  flowers of some sort, falling leaves, cranes in flight or sacred trees. At some point I decided that Syssk needed a crest as well, so I settled on a stylized version of the face-hugger parasite from the Alien movies (the first stage of xenomorph development after it leaves the egg). The purpose of this card was summed up nicely when Frank Herbert wrote, “Absolute power attracts the corruptible.” Under the right set of circumstances we are all corruptible, even visitors from the celestial kingdom.

[3] OF SWORDS: Lord of the Moon's Sorrow.

Balancing one's feelings. Healthy friendships. Riding the turbulence.  [R] Love triangle. Jealousy. Heartache.

[4] OF SWORDS: Mx of the Respite before the Storm.

Recovery. Rest. Recuperate. [R] Sensing upcoming doom. Cutting recovery short. Dread.

Note: A trope that runs through some horror literature is the idea that monsters, while they can assume the shape of a mortal, are often undone when their shadows reveal their true, monstrous form. Of course this only works if a person is observant enough to pay attention to such things and not, as Syssk and her friend are doing, get caught up in fantastical story telling, oblivious to the danger sitting right in front of them. Often we think that the storm we must face is far off and we have time to recover, when, in fact, it has already consumed us.

[5] OF SWORDS: Master of Defeat.

Exile. Deceit. Hidden or old enemies surfacing. [R] Ugly truth revealed. Detachment emotions. Coldness.

[6] OF SWORDS: Sensei of Senseless Struggles.

Realizing the path forward isn't the best. Campaigning. Following your own path. [R] Blinded by bad directions. Out of the frying pan into the fire.

[7] OF SWORDS: Mother of Betrayal.

Getting played. Being used. Leaving yourself too open emotionally. [R] Trust issues. Skepticism. Suspicion. Uncertainty.

[8] OF SWORDS: Crone of Ambitious Passing.

Owning who you are. Speaking one's mind. Being fabulous. [R] Walking on eggshells. Fear of independence. Not being true to oneself.

Note: I am a horribly cynical person and this is, perhaps, the most cynical card in the deck. Syssk works hard to try and blend in with the unwashed masses surrounding her and it is a thankless task. She's mastered make-up and how to sit politely, poetry and tea ceremonies, the katana sword and the samurai code of ethics, Bushido. None of this changes the fact that when people see her all they can see is her monstrous appearance and not the enlightened soul. For some of us being an outcast is much more preferable than having to compromise or hide who we really are, but I suspect, for Syssk, that is not an option open to her and everything about this planet is hellish in one form or another. In a world that has yet to invent the steam engine, let alone FTL drive, the endless prattle that the Earth is the center of the universe and that humanity is some sort of beloved pet for a Creator god blew her mind the first time someone said it and every time since. An ancient Zen koan asks, “What is the ocean to a frog living in a well?” Or, to put it slightly differently, in The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Ford Prefect (also an alien marooned on Earth), “would often gate-crash university parties, get badly drunk and start making fun of any astrophysicists he could find till he got thrown out … fifteen years was a long time to get stranded anywhere, particularly somewhere as mind-boggingly dull as the Earth.”

[9] OF SWORDS: Sonkeigo of Malice.

Workplace stress. Worried sick. Enabling a bully. [R] Light at the end of a tunnel. Recovery. Burden lifted.

[10] OF SWORDS: Mistress of Painful Endings.

Betrayal. Stabbed in the back. Crash and burn. [R] Learning from mistakes or betrayal. Getting back on feet. Communicating well with others.

[11] ONNA-MUSHA OF SWORDS: Champion of Rejuvenating Zephyrs.

Attention. Grace. Source of springtime. [R] Premature autumn. Crudeness. Disregard.

[12] SAMURAI OF SWORDS: Knight of Typhoons.

Courage. Quickly and unexpected change. Riding out the storm. [R] Pointless violence. Change as disaster.

[13] SEISHITSU OF SWORDS: Lady of the Sea's Sovereignty.

Grace. Rectitude. Hidden powers. [R] Bitter. Delight in drowning fools. Indifferent.

[14] DAIMYO OF SWORDS: Lord of the Raging Winds.

Owning one's own power. Bending reeds and breaking oaks. Sharp mind. [R] Nasty and mean spirited. Abusive. Ball of agitation.

__________________________________________________

[WANDS]

[0] ACE OF WANDS: Sovereign of the Root of the Flames.

Passion. Starting point. Answering the call. [R] Lacking creative thinking. Uninspired. Tunnel vision.

[2] OF WANDS: Ruler of Foreign Influences.

Embracing the alien. Long-distance relationship. Synchronicity. [R] Traditionalism. Incompatibility. Old and moldy.

[3] OF WANDS: Lord of the Far Expanse.

Counseling. Returning home. Third party assistance. [R] Third party interfering. Impulsiveness. Lacking the initiative.

[4] OF WANDS: Mx of Martialed Armies.

Stability. Gathering one's forces. Firm foundation [R] Debilitated commitment. Troubles of cohabitation. Adynamic planning.

Note: This is suppose to be an army on the march but I am unsure if that's apparent.

[5] OF WANDS: Master of Strife.

Serving a fair and just ruler. [R] Serving a vicious and wicked ruler.

Note: The term “Bushido” has been referenced several times so far. I have been calling it a samurai code of ethics, concerning all aspects of moral attitudes, behavior and lifestyle. The best example of its essence comes from Stan Sakai's The Dragon Bellow Conspiracy, where the following conversation takes place between our rabbit ronin Usagi and a samurai who serves the antagonist of the story:

Usagi: You'd die for a lord who vilifies you? He doesn't deserve your loyalty!

Torame: I'm a devotee of Bushido, the samurai's code. Do you remember the warrior riddle I told you?

Usagi: “Which more exemplifies Bushido? The samurai who serves a good and fair lord, or the one who faithfully serves a wicked lord?”

Torame: The Samurai who is loyal to his unprincipled master because he who remains faithful even in adversity has the greatest warrior spirit. After all, “samurai” means “to serve” and devotion to your master is paramount.

[6] OF WANDS: Sensei of Nauseous Sacrifice.

Victory at a price. Losing by winning battles. Stress vomiting. [R] Unable to understand why you lost. Disillusioned. Rewards long delayed.

Note: In The Rider-Waite deck, the 6 of Wands deals with public recognition over one’s success. Here, however, the card has more to do having to preform some sort of task that you find personally abhorrent in order to succeed. That, too, usually has very public ramifications (think: selling out for money, or sacrificing a friendship to get ahead) but you’ve decided that failure is not an option, so the ends justify the means, as they say.

[7] OF WANDS: Mother of Valour.

Attacked from all sides. Win battles and playing well with others. [R] Attacked from all sides. Defeat. Feeling drained and stressed.

[8] OF WANDS: Crone of Swiftness.

Expanding horizons through travel. Talking to people or seeing new places. Reading new ideas. [R] Frustration and delays. Can't seem to communicate. How do you make this hawk go?

[9] OF WANDS: Sonkeigo o£ Tenacity.

Bad ass with a katana. Ready and prepared for what is ahead. Good at defeating others. [R] Paranoid from many past battles. All vain pomp. Sound and fury signifying nothing.

[10] OF WANDS: Mistress of Artful Trickery.

Duplicity as a positive thing. Getting others to carry your burden. Looks great with nine tails. [R] Overburdened. Too many responsibilities. Unable to see what is right in front of you.

Note: In Japanese folklore, Kitsune are trickster fox spirits that have the ability to shape shift into human form. The card speaks to the 4 of Sword's warning that a sinister shadow might be concealed in the most charming of outer appearances. In this case the Kitsune is using a life-size puppet to manipulate others, while Syssk, jamming on her biwa in the background, remains oblivious to any danger.

[11] ONNA-MUSHA OF WANDS: Champion of the Luminous Flames.

Companion. Assistant. Helper. [R] Refusing advice. Lone wolf. Getting foolishly burned.

[12] SAMURAI OF WANDS: Knight of Thunderbolts and Lightning.

Person with an inner fire. Using the storm to your advantage. Good at dodging the wrath of the gods. [R] Anticlimax. Thunderbolts and lightning very very frightening. Need for follow through.

[13] SEISHITSU OF WANDS: Lady of the Uncanny Glow.

Eroticism as creative power. Living life to its fullest. MILF. [R] Burns out quickly. Restlessness. Unsatisfied.

Note: The erotic nature of our lives is profoundly spiritual. Since Syssk is the avatar for the reader the question of where Syssk falls in the sexuality spectrum has come up and while she is certainly intersexual (bodies that fall outside the strict male/ female binary) trying to define an alien species in human terms will only take us so far. She identifies as a “she/ her,” and while she is curious about the concepts of sex and romance she has yet to find anyone willing to teach or share. Perhaps she is Panromantic (someone who can experience attraction to anyone regardless of gender identity, sex or anatomy) or perhaps she is Demisexual (someone who does not experience attraction unless they form a strong emotional connection first), but what is important is that it's something only Syssk herself can decide upon and, as of this writing, she is still weighing all her possibilities.

[14] DAIMYO OF WANDS: Lord of the Song of the Turbulent Fire.

Owning one's self. Charming. Legendary. [R] Forked tongue. Smooth talker who is massively insincere. Sucka MC.

__________________________________________________

Originally the deck was going to feature astronauts and their Alien familiars. But that path would lead only to issues of copyright infringement, which is why Syssk ended up looking the way that she does and not like this:

[Magician]

[The Hanged One]

[back-and-totheleft]

Blowback

”I’ve enjoyed dope for more than 40 years,“ Oliver Stone says, speaking by phone from his Los Angeles office. “It started in Vietnam, I was a soldier. I showed it in Platoon. Half the platoons were getting high—not in the field, but in the back, and it made that whole experience survivable to a large degree. I don’t think I would have kept my humanity without it. Getting high was an antidote to the madness we were surrounded by. I’m very serious about that. The music and the dope.”

I’m talking to Stone about his latest film, Savages, the story of a couple of high-end hydroponic pot growers—rock stars of the Southern California boutique marijuana scene—who run afoul of a ruthless Mexican cartel angling for a cut of their business. It is, I think, his best movie in years: a ripe, wildly energetic caper—a Stone(r) noir, if you will—that also provides a sharper snapshot of the way we live now than the more overtly topical World Trade Center, W., and Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps. International diplomacy and the state of the economy are very much on Stone’s mind here too, but the politics are niftily concealed by a vibrant genre-movie surface; striking, color-saturated visuals; and the toned, tanned bodies of a sexy young cast in various states of rest and motion. Think Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid (a movie Savages directly makes reference to) if Butch, Sundance, and Etta were a full-blown ménage à trois. Think They Live by Night with surfboards and tattoos.

Adapted by Stone, Shane Salerno, and Don Winslow from Winslow’s compulsively readable 2010 novel, Savages follows the perils of Ben (Aaron Johnson) and Chon (Taylor Kitsch), yin-and-yang best buddies who meet cute on the beaches of Laguna and soon go into business together. They use primo seeds ferried back by Navy SEAL Chon from the Afghan war zone to cultivate a highly potent strain of weed whose profits in turn fund the new-agey Ben’s third-world nonprofit. The two friends share home and hearth with the movie’s narrator, O (Blake Lively), a burnt-orange beach bunny who claims to love the two men in her life equally, though perhaps that love is not quite as intense as their own bromance. Then into this progressive love nest comes a missive from the cartel honcho known as Elena “La Reina” (Salma Hayek), who makes Ben and Chon an offer they can’t refuse: join forces with her or else it will be O’s decapitated head they find under their communal sheets.

The cartel in the film behaves like a corporation—Wal-Mart by way of Monsanto—wanting to co-opt not only Ben and Chon’s distribution network, but their seed-growing technology too. And everyone is, literally or figuratively, in bed with everyone—the cartel with American Indian reservations, the DEA (in the person of John Travolta’s deeply compromised agent) with the dealers and the growers alike—leading to a wild, loop-de-loop climax that may leave some wondering if THC has somehow been piped into the cinema.

Savages presents a fascinating cycle of subterranean trade: high-quality Afghan weed makes its way to Southern California as a kind of byproduct of the war over there, and ex-SEALs use their military training and weaponry against the Mexican cartel in a new kind of war zone.

I don’t want to be preachy, but that ties in to my belief that blowback exists in this world. You don’t go fight foreign wars and expect them to stay there. The blowback comes, and not only in the form of Osama bin Laden in 2001. We have so many wounded people from the two Iraqs and Afghanistan, people with diseases and concussions and maimed limbs. There’s tremendous callousness in the country and it destroys us, and in a strange way Don Winslow caught that in his book with this idea of these soldiers becoming active here. In Vietnam we always thought that we’d come back and we’d make a difference here in this country; we’d lead the revolution against Nixon. I love the idea that this kid Chon just takes things in his own fucking hands. He doesn’t go crying to the cops—there’s no cops to cry to. They drive around on bicycles in Laguna. So he gets his RPGs and his IEDs and he fucking does it with real hardcore veterans. I loved that idea of war coming home to roost.

The depiction of the Mexican cartel is unusual in that the characters are quite three-dimensional, particularly Salma Hayek’s Elena, who has a fraught relationship with her twentysomething daughter, and who ends up treating O as a kind of surrogate daughter when she kidnaps her.

We always thought of it that way. We also had scenes with Uma Thurman as the mother of O—they were good scenes that were funny, actually. But with the movie being two hours and 10 minutes now, we were concerned. John Travolta’s character also had a wife, and there was a tender scene between them. And there was a very interesting side story with Lado, Benicio’s character—we had Mia Maestro as his wife, and we see that she is trying to make their children into Californians and the kids disgust him because they don’t have any of the old-fashioned ways that he wants. But we had to let all that go. What I like about the movie is that it has a tension to it, and I think it keeps you going, wanting to know what’s going to happen next, and it doesn’t let up.

The three leads have a terrific chemistry together. They really click in a way that gives the movie a lot of energy. How did you decide on the casting?

Aaron was the first one in. I met him and I just fell for his charm. We met in London and I said, “I don’t know which one you should play, but I want you to do this movie.” He was getting hot, he had done Kick-Ass and I had liked him in that. He was being offered a big role, and it was a big deal for him, but he gave up the [other] movie because he loved this idea so much. Then I saw Taylor in Friday Night Lights and an early version of Battleship and thought he was dead-on for Chon. So that made Aaron Ben. Blake came about after Jennifer Lawrence dropped out to make The Hunger Games. It was a difficult movie because she had Gossip Girl shooting 10 months a year, so she had to fly to New York practically every fucking day. She was working monster hours, as they do on TV. We stayed on schedule, but it was a difficult shoot.

The film feels in some ways like a sibling to Natural Born Killers and U-Turn in its ferocious pacing and the hyperreality of the imagery—the intensity of the sunlight and the bold primary colors.

Let’s put it this way: it was going to be a sun movie, which is to say Mexico, the South. The colors were intended to be primary, and I drove everyone a little bit crazy with that. Early on, I screened Contempt for [cinematographer] Dan Mindel, and I said, “I want these colors.” We had great sun all summer, we were shooting outdoors, we shot with windows, we shot with light, we tried to use as much beach life as we could. At one point, I went out on the set and screamed that I wanted towels, as many bright yellows and blues as possible, to get rid of the weaker colors that were sneaking in. Sometimes set designers want to have that tasteful balance, and I said, “No! We want excess!” Flowers, paintings, everything we could do to get some color in there, including bringing standby painters in and just slapping a wall together if we had to at the last second. My references in this were certainly Contempt, but also Duel in the Sun—I saw that several times when I was young, and I saw it again recently, and it’s just beautifully done. The showdown scene at the end was sort of an homage to that. Also to Leone.

To wit, the movie’s score has a strong spaghetti Western feel to it.

It’s funny you should say that, because I went about 10 rounds on U-Turn with Ennio Morricone. It was the only time I worked with him, and I never worked with someone so difficult in my life. It was a creative collaboration, but I think I’m the only American director who made him return to America a second time—he doesn’t like to travel—because I was unhappy. At one point in our collaboration, I actually showed him a Road Runner cartoon and I said, “This is the type of music I want you to write.” And he looked at me with a cold stare and said, “You want me to write cartoon music?” But if you listen to U-Turn, there’s a lot of boings and bings and bangs.

On Savages, I didn’t really know what the sound should be. There was a guy, Adam Peters, who I’d used on The Untold History of the United States, and he did great work for me. He’s English, so he’s not at all of the Italian style, but he adapted. As with Natural Born Killers and Any Given Sunday, we used a lot of needle drops, a lot of Mexican music. We listened to all the narcocorridos, but we didn’t end up using any of those. We put Brahms in under the sex scene at the very beginning because I wanted the movie to have some tenderness and romance. There has to be that element like in Duel in the Sun where you feel for these people—they’re young, they’re tender, they’re at the mercy of the world, they’re in danger, and they’re in love.

How do you interpret the love triangle at the center of the film? Do Ben and Chon really love each other—as Elena intimates—more than they do O?

I don’t know. I did look at Butch Cassidy before we shot the movie, and it’s interesting, because Katharine Ross is with both men, but it’s so hidden in the movie that you barely notice it. Certainly, Butch Cassidy was considered, even at the time, a bit homoerotic. O has her own journey, too. She lives through this thing and she has to find herself, through this process of looking at death so clearly. She says toward the end: “I don’t think it’s possible for three people to be equally in love.” Which indicates that she’s thought about what Elena says to her in the dinner scene: “Something’s fucked up about your love story, baby.”

What is the current status of your Showtime miniseries, The Untold History of the United States?

It grew out of my desire to leave something behind. I’m aware of what my three children studied in American History and I’m aware of what I studied in American History, and I feel like we were all cheated by the book publishers and by the schools. In my case, it grew into a mythology about the United States that was very dangerous, because among other things I went to Vietnam under the belief that we were fighting the demon enemy: Communism. And what we did in Vietnam was so heinous, so evil, and it bothers me still that it was never apologized for, nothing changed, and we went to more wars. So in 2008, around the time I was doing W., I started this project. It was designed to be 10 chapters about the mythologies of American history, going back to 1945 and the bomb and working our way through to 2012. It’s an upside-down version of American history, which is to say it takes everything you thought you knew about America and questions it. Anyway, it turned into a monstrosity. It went two years over and took a lot of time. Writing history for film is the hardest thing in the world, and I’ve been giving all my free time to it when I haven’t been making other films. It was originally scheduled for May, but when Universal moved Savages to July, we and Showtime decided to push it back to November because we didn’t want to overlap. We’re working like dogs on it as we speak. We keep revising, fact-checking. Things change. It’s a bitch.

Savages ultimately feels like the work of a filmmaker reborn. If you watched it without knowing who directed it, you might think it was the work of a first- or second-timer fresh from film school or music videos, showing us everything he can do, in case he never gets to do it again.

It’s really my third or fourth childhood, because I’ve had these kinds of periods before. Bear in mind that I did Platoon when I was 37. To me, part of me had died in Vietnam, and to finally get a chance to make a movie about Vietnam in 1986 when I was almost 40, I felt like an old man then. I was going back to my 20-year-old self, and being in the jungle with Charlie Sheen and all those young dudes, I was the old guy. Life is like that—you get old, you get young, you get old, you get young. That’s happened to me repeatedly. Natural Born Killers was an enormous explosion of energy at a time when I was getting divorced and my life was falling apart and I was in a very dark place and I just said, “Fuck it.” So the answer is, I felt very old on the movie at times, because it was such hard work, and to get out of your chair for the hundredth time of the day and have to walk over to some young person and talk them through the whole thing again… What am I doing out here in 100-degree heat at Pyramid Lake? But it’s the idea that keeps it alive.

As a director, you sometimes feel like you’re the most loathed person, because you’re telling everyone what to do. And most people in life, myself included, don’t like to be in control all the time. I don’t enjoy it. But once in a while, you have to go out there for 60, 70, 80 days and you’ve got to be in charge and you’ve got to be tough to bring it together, because it’s tremendously logistically complex, and if you have 16 competing visions or even two competing visions, it won’t work. Every time you direct, it’s a tremendous effort. It’s like mounting the D-Day invasion. I’ve made 19 movies and they were 19 wars.

-Scott Foundas, "Blowback," Film Comment, July-August 2012

[windi04]

R U Next? An outsider’s comment

Disclaimer: I’m not one of those people to carve out a time slot to watch the birth of a Kpop group. Usually, as in according to what happened over the past three weeks, I watch the performances first (which is what I’m here for) and if it interests me, I go watch the episode from somewhere in the internet (again, for the moment the show hasn’t bored me as of yet.) And all the comments that I make and will make are based on thee procedures of mine. Thank you.

Anyways, R U Next? Or RUN is a survival show that was created by Belift Lab(I think), which is a part of Hybe Labels aka BTS’s record label. This group is meant to be the sister group and juniors of Belift’s ENHYPEN, also a group formed through a survival show.

Anyways, right off the bat, there are SO MANY issues with this show, like a literal TWELVE year old contestant, alleged favoritism, claims of evil editing, and then Iris and her issues that literally prompted this rant.

So, let’s just untangle this thing one at a time, and start with Iris, because I have a lot to say.

Iris is a foreign trainee who joined the competition lineup just weeks before it started (her rank in ep1 was 00 along with another trainee, as she was not present at the time of the monthly evaluation). She is undoubtedly a very talented individual, competent in the genre of Latin dance, which was shown in ep1.

With this background, it is only natural that Iris has problems keeping up with the other trainees. I don’t have a problem with that. But I do have a problem with her attitude when it comes to this problem. Like, does she even realize that she is wasting precious time with her mood swings and - I have no other words to describe this - tantrums? Girl, you could’ve used that time to practice and get better. I mean, you can only master an art with hard work and commitment; talent doesn’t just appear at once like magic and stays with you for the rest of your life!

Please don’t misunderstand my words, I don’t intend on spreading hate. But watching her give up literally every handful of seconds makes me so damn frustrated. Imagine you are a rejected applicant, or a previously eliminated trainee watching this at home, and basically thinking that this was their lost chance, or that they could’ve done better with the same situation.

At the same time, I feel bad for her. But that doesn’t mean that the entire universe - her teammates, the mentors and judges, fans and even her seniors - have to sit there and wait until she gets herself together. I get that she’s so far away from home, and probably is scared and lonely in that country, but it’s not like she can run back home every time she hits bottom. But I feel like she lets her anxiety get the best of her and then leeches off the success of her teammates (it might be harsh, and maybe she’s just being evil edited to look like that), but it’s absolutely clear that she’s not ready to be there. It doesn’t mean she should give up, but she should take it slow (we all should, not every human being is extraordinary enough to run at that fast pace all at once), maybe away from cameras, if it adds to the stress (it would, IMO).

Sigh.

Anyways, does anyone know if these companies have counseling facilities for trainees? Like, it’s a necessity, and with the stress of being in a survival show, I think it should be a part of mentoring itself, like having someone - preferably an idol that had gone through survival shows - to talk to. I would really appreciate it if companies also watch out for their mental health. These are kids, remember.

Ok, now I’m tired. I think I’ll stop here, but do tell me what you think of this poor girl’s situation. What will you propose as a solution.

[haptureratch]

I've known this man for one week. One fucking week. I guess two if we count the time period spent on introductions, texting, and contemplated meeting. And he has shown me more genuine kindness and care than all the other men put together since I dated Aaron.

And I don't know how to deal with any of it. The bad memories, the rage at ghosts and myself. I can't believe I gave them so much love and accepted so little in return. I gave them everything and I was starving, believing the scraps they handed me were from a fucking three Michelin star restaurant. I wasted so much. And I'm left here so battered and having a hard time letting go. For what???? For fucking what???? For a perverted physician who wanted me to be his little plaything pornstar slut while he played victim in a divorce that was his fault? For a manchild law student with a nasty temper who dropped out because he gave himself a full-blown paranoia from overuse of marijuana and blamed me?? For a video game designer who was in love with someone else and let me think it was my fault that he wouldn't come after me? For ALL those dirty bastard men who only lusted after my body like I didn't have a soul? For the hippie fake-woke physical therapist who made me feel inferior just because he didn't know who he was or what he wanted and couldn't see that I was an unsalaried med student just trying to make it through a board exam A BOARDEXAM A B O A R D E X AM ? For the floor nurse with the literal worst disgusting hygiene that he got me sick and didn't tell me while he flaunted me to his parents and patients as mY dOcToR giRLfRiEnD? For the British pilot who rejected me for not being good enough when I was a nurse and then came after me again when I was a physician only to play the same fucking games with intimacy and secrecy like I wouldn't remember, like I wasn't smart enough to understand what was happening???? Absolutely fuck off; I remember all of you. And I hope you remember me and what you did.

But mostly I hope to our lord and savior jesus h fucking christ that they just fucking figure it out and stop hurting people.

And then Steven comes along.

It's SO NICE but sometimes I am u n w e l l .

SO I CREY

and try to hurry up and process so i can be okay and not push him away with all of this mess.

my biggest fear is that when his work is done (or even when the schedule really ramps up) he'll just leave and not want to try to continue this. my fear is he already knows we won't go past his allotted time in my city. that i can't metaphorically/emotionally follow him back to LA. that this was just a beautiful and passing moment in his life. maybe he does this on every work stretch. a place of comfort in a foreign city.

I don't want to hurt myself. i don't want to do what i did with Ari; that was unfair to the both of us. and it was the same thing; here for work and we liked each other. but this is different. it has to be; i feel it. please let it be just a little different? if gabi and collin could have it why can't i?

[volleychumps]

AAAAAAAAAH REQUESTS ARE OPEN 😭😂 AHEM hello!!! welcome back btw 😊 tumblr is not the same without youuu but i'd like to request a bestfriend au with tsukki, kuroo, and iwa where the reader was asked to give a love letter to them but the reader was hesitant to pass it and the boys found out about it? hehe please make it fluffy to mend my broken heart 🙏🥺

but if it's too much, don't hesitate to ignore it, love 😊

« Crossing Boundaries.

- the one in which you’re asked to pass on a love letter to your best friend, but what’s stopping you? Why does it...hurt?

format: scenarios

genre: fluff

- includes: Tsukishima, Kuroo, and Iwaizumi

WHO TF BROKE YOUR HEART take mine instead

----------------------------------------------------

Tsukishima

“So...you’ll give it to him?”

You glance at the outstretched letter in the girl’s hand, shouldering your bag with a tilt of your head. Who was this girl again? 

“Um...” 

“You’re Tsukishima-Kun’s best friend!” She blurts, startling you slightly as your eyes widen a fraction. “I...want him to go out with me. You’re just so easy to approach, Y/N-chan!” 

Jaw slacking, you watch as she deeply bows before skittering off with a bright hue to her cheeks, a hopeful glint in her eyes as you glance down at the carefully sealed letter in your hand. No doubt were her feelings sealed in the contents of this letter, it wouldn’t be a big deal to be the messenger, right?

The sudden sick feeling in your stomach was nothing, right?

“Oi. I know I said you were scatterbrained, but did you seriously not realize classes ended for the day?” 

You flinch at the feeling of Tsukishima pinching your cheek to catch your attention, staring down at you increduously as you find a wobbly grin taking place, your hands automatically opening your bag. 

“Is my amazing best friend actually offering to walk me home?” You feign shock as Tsukishima rolls his eyes.

“Who said that? Buy me snacks, get a move on.” The blonde scoffs, jutting his chin in the direction of the door before you swallow back the tightness in your throat. 

“Fine. Let’s go.” 

You zip up your bag, noting that it felt a little heavier than before. Tsukishima picks up on your silence on the walk to the convenience store, noting that you seemed a little down. He nudges your side as you stare blankly off into the onigiri aisle, tilting his head in a silent question.

“Eh? Uh, just grab whatever. I’m not even hungry.” 

“Since when?” Tsukishima retorts, easily grabbing an extra bun and your favorite canned fruit juice along with his snacks before ringing them up, leaving you behind. 

Would he do this with that girl if they started dating? 

“Ah, I thought I was buying.” 

“Get that pout off your face and eat.” Tsukishima leans against the glass windows of the convenience store, unwrapping your bun for you before shoving it in your direction. “What’s with you?” 

You scoff playfully, nibbling the soft bread. “As if you care.” 

“You’re right. I don’t.”

Tsukishima smirks into his meat bun as you glare in his direction, content with the quietness of your friendship that was built on playful insults and each other’s presence. 

Your fingers twitched as the meat bun lowered in one of your hands, the other fiddling with the zipper on your bag. 

Who were you to stop him from potential happiness? 

“Here.” 

Tsukishima glances down at the letter, brown eyes widening a little bit. 

“This from you?” 

You take a big bite out of your bun, knowing that the foreign hurt you felt in your stomach would arise again if you answered his question. 

“Is this why you were acting so weird earlier?” He prompts another question as you swallow your mouthful, examining the unopened letter. 

“You should’ve just told me, idiot.” 

It hurts to look at him. It sounds like he’s fighting to keep his amusement out of his voice. 

“I know.” You crumple your wrapper, refusing to look in his direction. The corners of your lips are forcibly turned upwards as you feel Tsukishima staring at you seriously. 

“Does this mean we can’t be friends anymore?” Your voice sounds small, and Tsukishima’s scoff made your heart fall into your stomach. 

“Well, duh.” 

You knew it. 

“People who date aren’t friends. I accept your confession, stupid. Stop looking so sad.” 

Your head snaps up, eyes widening at his words. Realization melts into your gaze as it darts from the pink tinge of hid ears to to the unopened letter. He hadn’t even read the contents of it. 

“Kei. I didn’t write that letter.” 

The silence that settles between the two of you is borderline unbearable. Tsukishima rips the letter open, eyes skimming it’s contents before his jaw clenches. 

“I see that now.” 

“Ha...sorry.” You mumble awkwardly, heat brimming your cheeks as your best friend pockets the letter, making your heart sink further. 

“Might as well accept, huh?” 

“R-really?” 

“Is she cute?” Tsukishima throws his trash away as he walks ahead of you, leaving you to trail after him as you stare at his back as you do so, nails biting into your palms. 

“Do I know her? Do you know her?” He stops walking, and you bump into his back. The tall blonde doesn’t look back at you, the colorful sky of the setting sun acting as a background for his tall figure. 

“Why were you so hesitant in giving me her letter?” 

Tsukishima’s irritation finally boils over at your continued silence, finally glancing back at you only for his brown irises to widen. One more question. Perhaps the most important one. 

“Why are you crying?” 

You hastily wipe at the tears as your best friend faces you fully, his grip on the strap of his bag loosening so his arm falls down at his side. His arm is hesitant as it raises, hand carefully cupping your face as his thumb brushes your tears to the side. 

“I-I don’t know-!” You hiccup. Why did it feel like you were losing something that was standing right in front of you? 

“Y/N.” One careful motion has Tsukishima’s hand lifting your face to meet his usually stoic eyes. 

“Do you like me?” 

“Do I?” Your response is hushed, making Tsukishima scoff, his other hand reaching out to grab your waist on the empty sidewalk. 

“Only one way to find out, dumbass.” 

His lips are on yours before you can hiccup another response, and your hand wraps around his wrist that’s cupping your face as your heart seems to finally relax. 

“So?” Tsukishima murmurs, lips still grazing yours when he pulls back slightly. 

Ah. He made the pain stop. 

“I don’t know. I think you need to do it again.” 

“You’re an idiot.” The blonde is smirking now, tugging you closer. 

“So you don’t want to?” You ask innocently as Tsukishima throws a crumpled ball of paper behind him. He looks at you in annoyance, but his eyes hold something else as he grips your chin. 

“Don’t put words in my mouth. Especially since you made a fool of me earlier.” 

“I never said it was from me!” 

“Do you want me to kiss you again, or not?” 

Kuroo

“If you would, I’d be so grateful!” 

“Ah, wait-!” 

You sigh as the unknown girl blends into the crowd at the volleyball match, making you hang your head and sigh as the sound of your name makes you perk up from within the stands. 

“Y/N-chaaaan, you’re here to see me!” 

“Lies.” 

“Hi Lev! You did so well out there!” You wave at your much taller underclassman, ignoring your best friend before yelping a little when Lev glomps you like a little kid. Your best friend’s stare from over his teammates shoulder is unamused as Kuroo grabs the back of Lev’s shirt. 

“Y/N’s here to give me a ride home. Get your own best friend, kid.” 

“You have Kenma!” 

“No he doesn’t.” Kenma pops up on your other side, and you withhold a giggle as Kuroo rolls his eyes, quite literally plucking you up from the crowding of his teammates by the waist. You sweatdrop when he flings you over his shoulder, whistling as the raven-haired captain carries you over to the exit.

“You promised you wouldn’t do this anymore.” 

“I make no such promises.” 

“Kuroo-senpai, it’s okay to be jealous!” An irritated heat fills your cheeks as Kenma and Lev get farther away, the latter offering two large thumbs up. 

“Awh, listen to your underclassman.” You tease, and Kuroo easily shuffles around in your purse to get your keys as you suddenly still. Would he find the note that his fan had given you? 

...wait. Why did you think that was a bad thing? 

“Yeah, yeah. Do you want me to drive?” 

“You could just ride home on the bus with your teammates like a normal person.” You quip as Kuroo carefully sets you down before unlocking your car, opening the door for you as you roll your eyes and get in. 

“If I did, would you still come to my games, sweetheart?” The captain’s cat-like smile was easy as he rests his forearm atop your car door, tilting his head in amusement. 

“Don’t call me that.” Heat never fails to swirl in your cheeks at Kuroo’s flirtatious nature before he snickers, closing your door before reminding you to watch out for your legs. 

“By the way, what was with the letter in your bag?” 

Your chest sinks. 

“None of your business.”  You blink, the words slipping out automatically before Kuroo shrugs, putting your car into motion. Questions flitted around your head as to why, Kuroo’s speaking of his volleyball match acting as background noise. 

“...Kitten, are you even listening to me?” 

“Yep. I love serves. Go team.” 

Kuroo smirks, keeping his eyes on the road with his forearm bent in a relaxed manner resting on top of your seat. 

“What’s going on in that pretty little head?”

“How your teammates are cuter than you.” 

“Ow.” 

You laugh, but there’s weight to it. Biting your lip, guilt swimming in your stomach for even considering not giving it to him. Hastily, you reach out to put the letter in the compartment on his dashboard. 

“What’s that?” Kuroo’s feral eyes glance at the paper before flitting back to the road, and you look out the window with a strained smile.

“Yours. A girl at the match wanted me to give it to you.” 

You wait for the cocky retort and barrage of questions as to who, but it doesn’t come. Eyebrow quirking at his silence, you glance at your best friend to see his jaw had clenched, grip on the steering wheel tightening. 

“Kuroo-?” You blink when he swerves into the next gas station, the lot mostly empty save for a few patrons buying cigarettes. You tilt your head, thoroughly confused as he stares at the paper sitting on his dashboard. 

“You said it was none of my business.” 

“And...?” you urge him to continue. “I obviously didn’t-” 

“Y/N, did you not want to give me her letter?” 

When did his tone get so serious? 

You felt like a deer in the headlights. Curse him for being so smart. 

“H-Huh? You’re overthinking things...” You force out a scoff, looking out your window again to see that the rest of the patrons had left. 

“In that case...” Kuroo mumbles as you see from his peripheral vision grab the letter. 

“Do you have to read it now?” The question tumbles from your lips before you realize it, completely oblivious to the hurt that shone over your eyes as Kuroo notices immediately. 

“I’m going to say yes.” 

Your jaw slackens before you quickly pull yourself together. What was with you? 

“Y-You don’t even know who...” Your lips were trembling as Kuroo locked eyes with you seriously, but you steadied your breathing quickly before a smile takes place. 

“I’m happy for you.” 

“Dammit, Y/N-” Kuroo’s voice was near a growl as he unbuckled his seatbelt, capturing your lips with his as his hand rests on the back of your neck, tugging you towards him. You gasp into the unexpected kiss, shocked at the fact that you liked it. 

Breathless, his chest rises as he catches his breath when he pulls back, the captain’s eyes brimmed with annoyance as you meet his gaze with a dumbfounded one. 

“I hand you all the chances in the damn world on a silver platter, and I kiss you first? In a gas station parking lot? Damn, Kenma was right. I am a wuss.” 

“W-Wha...” You blink once, then twice before Kuroo’s thumb grazes your bottom lip. 

“I’m gonna kiss you again if you don’t reply in three seconds. I’m about to internally combust.” 

A smile stretches over your lips slowly, and that’s enough for the dark-haired captain to kiss you with a fervor unknown, as if he had been holding himself back this whole time-

the folded letter laying forgotten on the dashboard. 

Iwaizumi

“This close.” You pinch your fingers together as Hanamaki and Matsukawa look down at you in amusement. “This close to beating up your captain because his stupid fangirls give me his stupid fucking confessions to give to him because the girls at our school lack the balls to do it.” 

“It can’t all be that bad.” Hanamaki muses as you hand him a certain one, the tall boy skimming the letter before his nose gushes out blood. 

“Did...did you just get a nosebleed-” 

"It’s rude to read a person’s mail!” Oikawa pipes up, snatching the letter from Hanamaki before pouting in your direction. 

“It’s okay, they’re anonymous. Gotta make sure their not death threats.” You give the captain finger guns, and he gasps in shock in response. 

“Who would want to wish death upon a face this pretty?” 

“Iwaizumi.” Hanamaki and Matsukawa’s responses are immediate, and you stifle a laugh as Oikawa immediately sulks. Your best friend was in the locker room for a post-practice shower, not present to confirm nor deny that statement. 

“Oh! Speaking of Iwa-chan, there’s a letter for him in here too.” 

Huh?

“Ah. I forgot he’s a little popular too.” Matsukawa hums, snatching the letter out of Oikawa’s pile and putting it on your face. “Here.” 

“And what do you expect me to do with this?” You swat Matsukawa’s hand away, a frown settling on your lips that doesn’t go unnoticed by Makki. 

“Ooh, is our cute little manager jealous?” 

“What are you, six?” 

“Is she getting defensive, Makki?” 

“I think she is, Matsukawa.” 

“Stop.” You groan, shooing the third years away as the pair of friends oblige, chuckling among themselves while leaving you with Oikawa. 

“Y/N...do you like Iwa-chan?” 

“We’re best friends.” 

“That didn’t answer my question.” Oikawa was oddly serious, seeming to desperately want the answer out of you as you tilt your head in confusion as he steps closer to you. 

“What-?” 

“The truth is, Iwa-chan-” 

“Oi. Are you talking about me?” 

Oikawa claps his hand over his mouth, Iwaizumi glaring at his childhood friend before shaking his head no quickly. 

“Would you look at the time!” Oikawa peers at his nonexistent watch as Iwaizumi huffs through his nose, peering down at you next as you bite the inside of your cheek. On instinct, you had hidden the letter in your hand behind your back. 

“What’s with you?” Iwaizumi questions, taking the towel slung over your shoulder to wipe at the nape of his neck. “Did that piece of shit say something weird to you?” 

“That piece of shit is our friend.” 

“Sadly.” Iwa’s response is immediate, and you giggle, making his features soften a little bit. “So did he?” 

“Is there a dirty little secret I don’t know about?” You muse, crossing your arms as Iwa’s movements to dry the back of his neck seem to still momentarily. 

“Nope.” 

“Hm. Unconvincing.” 

“What’s that behind your back?” The spiker changes the subject, and your mouth suddenly goes dry as the door sliding open steals both of your attention. Matsukawa smirked at you as Hanamaki flashed you a thumbs up as they left, Oikawa winking before taking his leave as well. 

“We should get going too.” You awkwardly sidestep away, hesitation in your movement as Iwaizumi tilts his head in thought. 

“Right, but first-” 

You yelp, Iwaizumi faster than you as he pulls you by the shoulder, your back hitting his chest comfortably as his hand easily slips the letter out of your grasp. 

“What’s this?” 

Dammit. 

“Oh um, a letter for you.”

Dammit. Dammit.

“Did you write it?” 

Why do you feel so unsettled? 

“N-No...” 

Iwaizumi blinks, opening up the letter to skim its’ contents before you try to make a quiet escape. You don’t come out victorious, Iwa easily catching your collar as mid-sentence to corrupt your plans. 

It’s quiet when he finishes reading it, and he crumples it up before shoving it in his pocket. 

“Who’s the lucky girl? Do you know her?” 

Your best friend ignores your upbeat tone, glancing at you with his hand shoved in his pocket. 

“...why were you hiding it?” 

“Hm?” 

He begins to move towards you. 

“Did you...not like me receiving a confession?” 

“What are you talking about?” You move backwards with every step he takes forward, nervously avoiding his dark eyes as your back finally hits the wall. 

“I didn’t even know it was a confession...” You ramble, and Iwa’s hand reaches out to touch the wall besides your waist, making your heart skip a beat. His stare was captivating, making your legs weak. 

Since when did your best friend have such an effect on you? 

“Iwa.” Your voice was near a whimper, making the dark-haired spiker wrap his arm around your waist, large hand resting on the small of your back. He seems uncertain with his movements, jaw clenched and forehead creased. 

“Y/N.” Your noses were brushing now. “Would you hate me if I said I wanted to ruin our friendship?”

You stare at him in disbelief, finding your head shaking the slightest bit no-

and that’s all it takes for him to close the distance. 

His large hand entangles in your hair, holding you closer to him as he kisses you deeply, yet gently. Your arms tremble as they wrap around his neck, pulling him towards you as you feel his lips softly turn upwards against yours. 

Both of your breathing is heavy when you break the moment, heart beating out of your chest. 

“Um, so what’s your answer to the confession-” 

“Shut up.” Iwaizumi rolls his eyes, smirking when you giggle into the next kiss he presses on your lips. 

-----------------------------------------------------

LMAO RIP to the girls who wrote those confession letters in the first place, but they don’t exist don’t feel too guilty y’all <3

General works: @takemetovalhalla @kasandrafaye @savemesteeb @dreebbles @yams046 @let-me-have-my-own-name @deadontheinsidebut @lifeisntjustblackandwhite @curiouslilbeast @aprettyfruit @wisepandaslimeland @h0ngh0ngh0ng @lmkjimin @orangegiraffe7 @dai-tsukki-desu @kac-chowsballs @spikertrash @yamaguwuchi @lord-suneater-explosion @nekomawhore @holaaaf@babyybokutoakaashi @lexysclubhouse @disneyloving-muggle

[tyb1]

Daddy Issues

Words: 1445

Character: Seth Clearwater

Request: Hi! Can I request were the reader is Sams younger sister and their dad comes back in town. The reader gets creeped by him and Sam or Seth fights him.  P.S can we have a bad boy Seth! 

*seth is a tad aggressive*

~Sorry it took so long :)~

BTW thanks for requesting!

I snuggled deeper into Seth’s chest when I felt the breeze of the fall air enter my room. I always adored it when Seth came over for the fall and winter times. We’d always lay in my bed watching movies or playing board games (which he sucks at). 

“(Y/N) if you snuggle any deeper you will cave in my chest.”

I giggled, smacking his chest lightly, “I’m really cold and hungry.”

He wrapped his arms around me pulling me on top of him. His lips were placed on my enormous forehead that he glorified. “You’re always hungry (Y/N).”

Sam and Emily were downstairs getting lunch prepared. The pack was coming over just to hang out and eat some lunch. It has become a mini tradition that everyone comes over and plays games or watches movies then at night we’d sit around the campfire. Even Bella has come over with Jake which really surprises me every time I see her.

“(Y/N) come open the door my hands are full,” Sam shouted from the bottom of the staircase. I groaned at the sound of Sam’s voice. I didn’t want to leave my personal heater and plus the movie was entering its good part. 

“I don’t hear any footsteps (Y/N), our guests are getting cold out there,” Emily shouted.

“I’m coming, Emily! It’s literally only the guys outside!” I lifted my body from Seths, the cold air nearly knocked me back down to him. One side of my body was warm and tingly from him while the other was cold. 

I walked downstairs, the smell of grilled food engulfed my nostrils. I could push Sam off of the grill right now and rob him of all of the ribs. It wouldn’t be the first time I tried that though…….would not be the last either. 

“The food smells good Sam!” I yelled out to him as I reached out for the door. I heard him thanking me in the distance. I opened the door revealing everyone. Leah was the first to enter, she handed me a bowl of her Sue’s famous potato salad.

Leah bent down to my ear whispering, “Don’t let the boys see this, or else it’ll be gone in an instant.”

I nodded my head hiding the potato salad behind my back as the boys began to enter.

“What’s up Scar!” Jared gave me a harsh slap on the arm. Sometimes he forgets that I can’t handle his strength. 

“Ouch Jared and my name isn’t Scar.” I grabbed my arm, it began to pulsate from the impact. The guys moved past me rubbing my head as they entered. Paul went as far as to grab my head nearly squeezing my eyeballs out. 

I pushed the door closed when I heard someone shout from behind the door. I looked outside to see Bella on the porch, she stood there awkwardly trying to utter out some words.

“Hey (Y/N), there’s a man near the entrance who said he's looking for you.” She pointed her finger in the direction of the main road. I glanced down the dirt road looking at the figure as they leaned against their truck. 

“Okay, thanks.” I moved to the side so she could walk into the house. I laughed, I walked because I knew that they were trying to play a joke on me. Jake didn’t come with Bella so I knew he was the figure at the truck trying to scare me. 

“Jake you can’t scare me.” Then I realized the man was too buff to be Jacob. The closer I got the more freaked out I was. It wasn’t Jake at the car nor was it someone that I had recognized. 

“Excuse me, someone mentioned that you were looking for me?” I stopped in the middle of the dirt road. I kept my distance from the man so he couldn’t try anything. He turned to look at me, his eyes stuck out as if he was surprised to see me. The cigarette that he held in his hand fell to the ground fully ignited. 

“Wow, you’ve really grown.” The man took a step towards me while I took a step back. He really gave me an eerie feeling. The air shifted around us, I’ve never felt more uncomfortable in my life. There was a creepy smile that was cast upon his face that made me want to gag.

“If you’re not here for anything you can leave.” I turned to leave, he was such a creep. He smelt like cigarettes and beer. He really didn’t show any emotions, he was only shocked for a second then that same horrific smile appeared again. 

“(Y/N) Uley, that’s your name.”

“How do you know my name?”

“Why wouldn’t a dad know his daughter’s name. I’m Josuha Uley, your father (Y/N).”  

He stuck out his hand for me to shake but I just stared at it. The words kept echoing throughout my head. I felt so nauseous, I ran to throw up in the nearby bushes. Sam told me ever since I was little how dad abandons us. He left Sam when he was little then came back to conceive me then left before I was even born. He missed 18 years of my life, the only father figure I had in my life was Sam. He was nothing to me, I owed this man no respect at all. 

I felt his foreign hand on my back rubbing it. He asked me something but the only thing I could hear was my racing heart. I shoved him away then slapped him in his face “Get away from me. Don’t you ever touch me again?” 

“I just want a relationship with you (Y/N).” Joshua tried to hug me walking closer to me with open hands. I could see tears on the brim of his eyes. I knew they were fake, mom always told me that sweet-talked people to get his way.

“Get away from me you creep.” The cold air that was surrounding us didn’t make it any better. The tears on my face felt so cold. I just wanted him to leave me alone and let me live a life without him. 

“(Y/N)”

“Didn’t she say leave?” 

I turned to see Seth standing behind me. He placed his arm around my waist pulling me behind him. I’ve never seen Seth stand so tall in my life before. He stood his ground in front of my dad. 

“Who are you?” He laughed mocking Seth, I could feel how tense his body was. Not out of fear but out of anger.

“It doesn’t matter who I am. She asked you to leave so leave.” 

Joshua laughed again, he walked to us staring down at Seth. “You have no authority over me. You’re just a little pup. You couldn’t protect (Y/N) if you wanted to. You’re a sorry excuse of a boyfriend. Let me guess he imprinted on you (Y/N).” He scoffed in front of our faces. 

“This is puppy love.” 

“It doesn’t matter what you think. Neither of us gives a shit. Let’s go (Y/N).” 

Seth tugged me back towards the house. We left Joshua where he stood until he grabbed me from behind. I screamed as I felt him drag me towards the car. “We’re not done with this conversation (Y/N).”

Seth forcefully ripped me out of his grip. He grabbed Joshua’s face pushing it into the car window. “I will kill you if you ever touch her again.” 

Seth flung his bleeding body into the dirt. Joshua took this opportunity to shift. He growled at Seth then charged. “Seth move!!” 

I watched in horror as Joshua charged Seth. Seth jumped slightly to the left and Joshua was met with another big black wolf. Sam charged at him ripping at his fur with his teeth. I was shocked to see Sam appear that fast. I always heard stories from others about how dad names or presents would make Sam rage. 

He pushed him further into the woods father away from us. Paul, Jared, Jake, Embry, and Quil were also in their wolf form. They ran behind Sam howling into the air. 

“Are you okay?” 

“Yeah, I’m okay. Are you okay?”

“I’m fine but I got to go. Leave the window open like you always do. I’ll be right back.” 

He grabbed my face kissing me. I wrapped my arms around his neck to help me deepen the kiss more. He placed his forehead on mine winking at me before running off in the woods shifting.

“That wink was so cringy Seth Clearwater!!” 

[rrasado]

can we get more filo! Mc?? (Its up to you from what fandom u like and the stuffs), hi ate

Watch me try to figure out which kohai are you dkdnsb

Even More Filipino! TWST MC Headcanons but this time it’s because someone requested it.

Calling mga kababayan! @sourpterodactyl @eggy-melancholy @luvielle @twstanmu @leviskokoro. Tag a fil twster!

Cracks knuckles (in all seriousness im cackling at the fact that I accidentally sniffed out most twst filo fans with these so ai ai)

“I knew it ahas Na literal ahas to” “..huh?” “Oh nothing Jamil jeje-“

But in all seriousness, Fil!Mc would feel most at home at Scarabia

I mean why wouldn’t they, hot climate hecking good food and the damned uniform is a tank top, a. tank. t o p.

Do yall know how stuffy the uniforms are!? The scarabia uniform are godsent in Mc’s eyes, and the s w e a t p a n t s

...The cafeteria, they refuse to call it cafeteria, they’re adamant on calling it canteen until their dying days

“Look I get y’all are going for that Conyo Richie private boarding school aura but canteen is elite™️ I won’t change my mind”

Let’s be real here, they’de actually have a high shot at the ghost bride

“YOU WHAT-“ “I tried singing ;-;” “Trey-senpai that ain’t singing thats just mindless drawling— Yknow what, EY LILIA SENPAI CAN I BORROW YOIR CLUB’S GUITAR-”

Have they maybe considered ✨Harana✨

I’m not even joking I am 101% sure they’d pull Harana for Eliza. The twst boys and the slapped ones are all snickering the moment MC got down on one knee

Ha you utter f o o l s.

The suave charm is on. The sultry love sick voice tone (y’all know what I mean) is evident, they’re actually pulling it off realll well.

Eliza would be stunned, escpecially at such heartfelt display of affection that’s peppered with foreign words here and there.

“P-Princess I don’t think-“ “How romantic! Such a lovely display of love💙!”

Ok but...mistaking Jade’s club for a camping club or sum-

I’m willing to make a fic on that another time but only if y’all want skbsjsbsb

Imagine pulling out folk dances, scratch that imagine pulling out Tinikling.(shush server peeps-)

The twst boys are h o r r i f i e d™️

Ankle snapping 101. And the only ones who can keep up are Floyd and Kalim 🤦‍♀️. Jamil is a close second

Remember the Scary Monsters event? Mc has a whole damned Archive of scary myths.

Probably uses only one of said scary myths and look how the magicam mobsters run. Even the twst boys are horrified of whatever this mananangal or kapre is.

“A half bodied demon-“ “a w h a t-“

Hand to god they probably accidentally go pspspspss™️ at the savanaclaw students due to habit (and maybe because they’re trying to get Lucius’ attention)

But Yknow, they don’t know what’s worse, the fact that they look so awakward or the fact that it actually worked, some of the beastmen with cat blood in their biology actually stepped forward.

Hear me out, Yuuken and FiloMc bonding over their countries’s respective swordsmanship.

Even better, They train together

Two isekaid bishes going batsh*t on some ol practice dummies at ramshackle’s yard, bonus some of the twst boys catch them practicing Kendo and Arnis then BAM- instant fear and respect.

Like “Oh hey cmon let’s check on the only two magic less peeps in our schoo- gREAT SEVEN WHAT DID THE DUMMY DO-“

Even even better, they train with diasomnia, (again, I can make a fic of this if demand calls for it dknsns)

So the takoyaki bastard kinda not so lowkey insulted MC in chapter three by saying “Nor do you have a beautiful voice-“...sir- no BASTARD THE AUDACITY-

So after episode three dies down blah blah blah all things good- MC makes a very innocent offer 🙂

“Ara? You want to sing something in the lounge?” “Yes, it’s a very famous lounge song back in my country and we usually sing it at these types of places ” “What song did you have in mind?” “a little song called ‘My Way’ 😊”

If y’all know then You K n o w™️

Imagine if it actually did activate the curse cause it’s a place with legit magic 🤡

Haha bad luck for Mostro lounge 🕺💃

P.S. sebek is prolly still salty that two magicless people from another world can keep up with him in swordsmanship pfft-

Fil!Twst MC HCs pt 1

Fil!Twst MC HCs pt 2

Istg if y’all come at me for more- i can’t believe y’all actually like these tho sksnsn

-♠️

[ursaminortarot]

I’m really fixated on romance right now for some reason, so here we are with a soulmate reading. I’m of the belief that we don’t just have romantic soulmates but platonic and familial ones as well. However, for this reading, I am choosing to focus solely on romance.

I’m experimenting with a new format. I linked each of the readings to a google doc, this is mostly because they ended up being way longer than I’d anticipated (story of my life). I also thought that it might be more organized to do it this way. I’d appreciate feedback on whether or not I should keep doing it.

Piles to choose from:

Pile 1 - Cobra

Pile 2 - Fish

Pile 3 - Cheetah

Pile 4 - Zebra

Pile 5 - Hawk

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[Decks Used: Modern Witch Tarot, Wild Unknown Tarot, Wild Unknown Animal Spirit oracle, Tarot Cats, standard playing cards, and a homemade oracle deck]

This took me 10-11 hours to do, spread out across 3 days. So, if you can support my shop or donate I’d be grateful. Also, please excuse any grammar/spelling mistakes and small incoherencies, by the time I got around to editing the readings I was kind of over it.

My Shop: https://www.etsy.com/shop/UrsaMinorTarot

CashApp: @UrsaMinorTarot

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Pile 1: Cobra

Who They Are:

Queen of Wands, 9 of Wands, 8 of Pentacles, King of Clubs

10 of Cups, 7 of Cups r, Justice r, 5 of Hearts

7 of Cups r, 9 of Pentacles r, 6 of Wands, 9 of Diamonds

Death r, 7 of Wands r, 8 of Wands r, Ace of Spades

The High Priestess, The Fool, The Hanged Man r, Ace of Hearts

Mother of Cups r

Winter+New Love

I’m getting some self-made energy here, they are likely a very hard worker who puts in a lot of time and energy. Their success, while appreciated, makes them feel very alone. There’s a lot of wands energy here, so they are generous with their money and it’s possible that other people take advantage of that. The Mother of Cups reversed reinforces this idea as she brings the message: “you give too much of yourself to others”.

The High Priestess, Fool, and Hanged Man being pulled together makes me think they function in two very different ways. Either, they overthink literally everything to the point of never making a decision, or they just do things very impulsively without a second thought.

They want a big, happy family, whatever that means to them. It could involve having children or just having a lot of pets. However, due to past relationships, they no longer feel as though they could trust anyone enough to live out that dream. 

They feel disillusioned with love, which gives them a lot of conflicting emotions. Because, again, there’s a lot of wands energy, so they’re a very passionate person. Their current belief that love isn’t real is a direct contradiction to who they are at their core. Winter and new love could be taken literally, like you’ll meet and fall in love with them in the winter. Or, if you wanted to look deeper at it, it could mean that you help them get out of this place of being unable to consider love.

How You Can Recognize Them:

8 of Cups r, Son of Wands, 7 of Wands r, King of Diamonds

5 of Pentacles, Father of Cups, 3 of Swords, Jack of Hearts

The Devil r, The Fool, The Devil, 2 of Spades

10 of Pentacles, The High Priestess r, Queen of Hearts

The Hermit, 7 of Pentacles r, 10 of Cups r, 7 of Diamonds

Hanged man, 4 of Cups r, 10 of Diamonds r

“You’re having trouble getting in touch with your emotions”

“You’re not seeing clearly”

Ex

This person has an unmistakable light about them. Being with them is like sitting outside on a nice day soaking up the sun. However, they are still holding on to the past, and this is to their detriment. When you meet them, if you haven’t already, they will be extremely hung up on their ex. They are going to be obsessing over what went wrong and whether or not they can fix it. I can’t tell if they want to fix it to get back together with their ex, because they think it will give them closure, or because they think it will help them avoid making the same mistakes in their next relationship. But, they also don’t actually want to fix anything because that would mean confronting their emotions and they would really rather not. They will likely seem to be existing outside of reality, they are going to be so distracted by this internal conflict that they aren’t going to notice the world around them.  

In all honesty, they will be very difficult for you to recognize. You’ll probably notice them because of their light, but you won’t (and shouldn’t) consider them a potential partner - at least not until they’ve dealt with their issues and moved on. I want to stress that while they are so focused on their past relationship(s), that’s not all they have going on. They are a 3 dimensional human being like the rest of us, but this is just the information I was able to get.

I also want to mention that their family is very important to them, they’re the type of person to call or text each member of their immediate family every day. I also get the impression that you two will be friends for a while before getting into a relationship. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Pile 2: Fish

Who They Are:

Queen of Swords, 9 of Wands, 9 of Cups r, The Tower r, Jack of Spades

King of Swords, Daughter of Wands, 3 of Pentacles, 8 of Diamonds

Judgment r, 2 of Cups r, Daughter of Swords r, The Chariot r, 3 of Spades

5 of Pentacles, Temperance, 7 of Wands, Jack of Hearts

The Emperor, 8 of Pentacles, The Magician r, Ace of Wands, 4 of Spades

“I’m sorry”

Best friends 

Between the Emperor and having all of the court cards of the Swords suit, this person has a very powerful presence. They’re almost the kind of person that makes people stop and stare, I say almost because they’re intimidating and people don’t want to be caught staring. Not intimidating in a scary way, they just - and I can’t stress this enough - exude power. They are also very ambitious and highly intelligent. So when they put their mind to something, they will execute it perfectly. Or, at least, they want people to think it was done perfectly. They have a very “everything’s under control” look to them, but they’re barely hanging on by a thread. I feel like one bad day would send them into an existential spiral, because they don’t know who they are if they’re not perfect. 

Nothing’s ever come easily to them and they’ve had to fight their whole life to get the things that they have now. They’ve never had the option of giving up. If they gave up, they were worthless, they were nothing - that’s how they’ve always seen it. I imagine there’s a lot of parental pressure at play here. It’s turned them into a workaholic, there’s no work-life balance to be found. I’m getting the impression that the “I’m sorry” card has to do with this aspect of their life. 

The “best friends” card speaks for itself. With the Jack of Hearts and Daughter of Wands, there’s a playful energy to them. But these are the only cards pointing this out, which tells me that they restrain this part of themself. I think that you being their friend, as well as their partner, will show them that they don’t need to be so serious all the time. This is something buried so deep it’ll need some time and energy to be coaxed out of them.  

This is pretty obvious, but this person’s biggest fear is failure.

How You Can Recognize Them:

Knight of Wands r, 4 of Wands r, 8 of Cups, 9 of Swords

King of Pentacles, The Moon r, 7 of Swords r, Queen of Spades

5 of Pentacles, Mother of Swords, Queen of Wands, 4 of Hearts

Queen of Cups, Daughter of Swords r, Knight of Wands

7 of Cups r, Son of Swords, 4 of Pentacle, 5 of Diamonds

The World r, 9 of Wands r, 8 of Hearts r

You feel as if you aren’t getting the recognition you deserve

Seperation

We’re definitely seeing their more sensitive, playful aspects. However, these are still vastly overpowered by their Swords energy as, once again, all the court cards are out - the Queen’s out twice. Seriously, this person has such powerful energy that it’s the first thing you notice.

I feel like you’ll meet either at work or at school, somewhere where you’re working on a group project together. The people you’re working with aren’t going to take your contributions seriously. But, once they realize you’re right, they’ll claim they were  their ideas all along. The Swords family is very fair-minded, so I think this person’s going to have a problem with that.  

They have this very detached, uninterested persona and once you’ve spent time around your soulmate, you’re going to pick up on the fact that they are deeper than they want people to think they are. When they’re more comfortable with you, which will take some time, you might catch glimpses of them being competitive/hot-headed or they’ll start making jokes around you. If you’re patient enough, they’ll eventually be vulnerable with you.

They have a fear of the unknown and love is foreign to them, so this is definitely a slow-burn. 

In both of these readings I got a wave of pretty interesting energy. It wasn’t anxiety or dizziness, but felt similar to both. I felt like I lost my balance, that’s probably how you'll make this person feel. They have a lot of plans for life and you’re not one of them, so they’ll be thrown for a loop. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Pile 3: Cheetah:

Who They Are:

Page of Swords r, Son of Cups, The Hierophant, 9 of Clubs

Page of Wands, Mother of Wands r, Page of Cups r, 4 of Hearts

9 of Cups, The Tower, 2 of Swords, 2 of Cups, Ace of Clubs

Queen of Wands r, The Chariot r, Queen of Pentacles, 4 of Spades

Knight of Pentacles, Ace of Wands, Emperor r,  6 of Clubs

8 of Cups, King of Wands

You can’t help everyone

Over-investment in work

Aries

The first thing that I’m seeing is that this person will probably have some self-esteem issues. It seems to be tied to their abilities more so than appearance.

They have a lot of ideas for projects that they want to work on, but they never seem to start anything, let alone finish. I think this is because they try to be everything to everyone and don’t prioritize themself. They find contentment in the idea that everybody likes them, but this can make them a people pleaser. This can lead to them taking on long hours at work to make their boss happy. It’s also unrealistic because there’s not a person on Earth that’s universally liked. I think this is something they’ll come to realize in their own time.

They may come across as indecisive at times, they aren’t. They always know exactly what they want, but can have a hard time asserting themself. 

There’s a fire that burns bright here, this person has a lot of drive and ambition. This is where that aries energy comes in, they don’t have to have aries placements so please don’t get fixated on that. But, like I said before, they hold themself back by prioritizing other people and neglecting their own needs. They have the potential to be really successful, however they need to start putting themself first. 

This seems like a very sensitive individual, just the thought of doing something under-handed stresses them out. Which is a good thing for other people, because your soulmate’s very charming and could probably talk themself out of anything.

For some reason I get the impression that they have a bit of a sweet tooth.

How You Can Recognize Them:

2 of Swords r, The Empress, Queen of Cups, 3 of Hearts

9 of Pentacles r, Judgment r, The Moon, 10 of Spades

The Fool, Mother of Wands r, Hierophant r, Jack of Diamonds

The Chariot r, The Hermit, 4 of Wands, Joker B&W r

3 of Pentacles, 4 of Wands r, Knight of Wands, 4 of Spades

King of Cups r, The Magician r

You’re having trouble getting in touch with your emotions

September

Think before you speak

Let’s start with the reinforcements of their self-esteem issues, as well as their people pleasing tendencies. It’s exhausting for them, emotionally and physically. They are well and truly holding themself back, and I think that by the time you meet them they’ll be starting to examine these aspects of themself. This will be something they struggle with for a while and there may be a period of time where they withdraw to think things through.  

The joker in black and white in standard decks is my fool reversed card, but it’s reversed so its the fool reversed reversed. The fool upright, I feel like there could have been a simpler way for my cards to get that message to me. But I also feel like it represents the way your person talks to themself, they make everything just a little bit more complicated than it needs to be. They think in circles, eventually getting to the point but it may take them a while. This may be a contributing factor to their perceived indecisiveness. 

 They want to make a home with you. I get the impression that when talking about it with you, they’ll appear to be cool and collected. Like it’s not a big deal to them. But then they’ll turn around and shout it from the rooftops. It won’t be possible for people to not know you’re together, they’ll just be so loud about it. 

Outside of the need to make everybody like them, they’re a pretty care-free individual. It will be important to them that you have fun together. I think this playfulness is their most defining feature and probably the first thing people notice about them.  

In the first two piles, it looked like they’d be friends for a while before getting into a relationship with their person. That’s not the case here, like I said before, when this person knows, they know. They’re not going to waste time with you.  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Pile 4: Zebra

Who They Are:

The Fool, The Hanged Man,  Queen of Swords, Ace of Clubs

6 of Swords r, 2 of Wands, The Hanged Man, Ace of Hearts

Ace of Cups, Mother of Pentacles r, 4 of Wands, Jack of Spades,

3 of Swords r, The Magician, 10 of Pentacles, Queen of Cups r, Jack of Diamonds

3 of Cups, The High Priestess, Strength, The Fool r, King of Spades

Soulmate 

Hostile

May

The first thing I’m picking up on is that your soulmate is someone who is very carefree. They also have a lot of romantic energy to them, so they are definitely a hopeless romantic.

The amount of Major Arcana here tells me that this person is likely very spiritually gifted, they might not be consciously aware of this.

This person is kind of a go-getter. Once they decide they want something, nothing’s getting in their way.

There are some conflicting energies here because as happy and carefree as they are, there’s an equal amount of pain and hardship. This is someone who’s faced a lot of hostility, so at first will be fairly guarded. They love the idea of being in love, but have difficulties opening themself up to the reality of love. It’s not all bad, they are making an active effort to heal and not let past heartbreak hold them back.

With the Magician and High Priestess facing each other, this is someone who is likely very in touch with their spirituality. Not only are they able to  trust their intuition, but they also have everything that they need to follow it. Once they have a gut feeling about something, whatever it is, they will trust it more than they’ll trust you, and be right 90% of the time.

 They are very compassionate and probably are used to giving more than they take, which gets them taken advantage of. Part of their growth is going to be finding a balance in this aspect of their life. 

This is someone who values family and most likely wants some kind of family unit, whether that be having children or pets. 

The month of May might be important, it could be when you meet or one of you could be a Taurus or a Gemini.

How You Can Recognize Them:

Ace of Cups, 3 of Pentacles r, 8 of Wands, 2 of Swords

Page of Cups, Justice r, 5 of Cups, 7 of Clubs

King of Pentacles, 10 of Cups, Strength r, 2 of Diamonds

2 of Pentacles r, 9 of Cups r, Queen of Wands, King of Diamonds

Death, The Hierophant, Page of Wands, 9 of Spades 

Sensitive

Peaceful

There’s still time to change your mind.

One of their prominent characteristics is their sensitivity. This doesn’t mean that they’re crybabies, they are just very mindful of everybody's feelings. This paired with what we learned about the painful parts of their past probably makes them a little insecure. This insecurity is only a problem when it comes to relationships. They may come across as very confident and flirty, but as soon as it moves past that they start clamming up and getting nervous. It could be bad enough that they have a hard time believing that you actually want to be with them.

They invest a lot of time into their projects, whether work related or personal. It’s likely that they struggle with finding a work-life balance. This is someone who needs to feel productive at every moment of the day. They keep themself busy so that they don’t need to be alone with their thoughts. This isn’t someone that knows peace. It is something they’d like to experience, but they don’t know how to. They have too many thoughts and can’t quiet their mind, their inner-demons get the best of them at times. This isn’t something they express outwardly though, everyone around them probably sees them as someone who, while busy, is fairly laid back. They need a lot of guidance here so if you’re someone who meditates, this could be something you help them with.

It’ll be easiest for you to recognize them based on their sensitivity and active lifestyle. They will be extremely helpful to their friends and family, and would drop everything to be there if needed. They are also, surprisingly down-to-earth. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Pile 5: Hawk

Who They Are:

5 of Cups, Judgment, Queen of Wands, Queen of Spades

Knight of Wands r, 10 of Wands r, 5 of Pentacles r, 3 of Diamonds

7 of Cups r, The Fool r, 10 of Pentacles, King of Spades

2 of Swords r, 9 of Cups, 3 of Cups r, 3 of Spades

The High Priestess r, 3 of Pentacles, Magician r, 9 of Diamonds

“You’re my everything.”

You need to hold yourself to more reasonable standards.

This is someone with a lot of pain, they are overwhelmed and feel defeated. I’m getting the impression that it has to do primarily with work/co-workers. It could be that they put a lot of themself into their work and seem to always get passed up for promotions, or they could have even been recently laid off. They’re very ambitious and intelligent, so if they did get laid off, it would be a big hit to their ego. Alternatively, they could have almost reached a long-standing dream, only for it to fall apart at the last second. 

Your soulmate has a lot of fiery passion that they don’t always know what to do with, so they turn everything into a competition. The thing is, they’re only competing with themself. They’re always trying to be better than they were yesterday, even when it’s unrealistic. 

As passionate as they are, they can be very patient when it comes to getting what they want. They know that not everything can be rushed, even if that’s frustrating to them. They try to avoid making reckless mistakes, but sometimes this can lead to them not making decisions in a timely manner. 

They value family and friends greatly, this could be the most important part of their life to them. They’ll test you to see if you can gain the approval of their loved ones. If you don’t, they may begin to have second thoughts. This is a soulmate though, so you’ll likely be very compatible and win everyone over with relative ease. 

How You Can Recognize Them:

5 of Pentacles, The Moon, 4 of Swords, 5 of Clubs

King of Pentacles, Judgment, 5 of Swords r, King of Wands r, 7 of Diamonds

2 of Swords r, Daughter of Pentacles, 5 of Pentacles r, 3  of Clubs

Temperance r, Son of Wands r, High Priestess r, 7 of Swords r, Jack of Clubs 

6 of Swords r, The Tower r, Page of Pentacles r, 5 of Hearts

You are not seeing clearly

Hesitant

When You meet this person, they will be coming out of a very rough period of their life. They are going to be at the start of their healing journey and they won’t have a lot of time or energy for romance. They’re likely very hard on themself, they don’t want to be seen as weak so they don’t express negative emotions. This is something they have to confront in order to heal.

They are going to be in a complicated headspace, there’s going to be difficulty separating the past from the present, and there’s not a lot of balance between their spiritual and physical lives. They either reject the spiritual to embrace the material world, or neglect their physical well-being and focus solely on their spiritual self. 

You know how some people use their trauma as an excuse to inflict pain on others? This person’s the opposite of that, everything they’ve gone through has made them a patient, compassionate person. This will probably be one of the first things you notice about them, how kind they are. They are also very dependable, they’ve experienced going through hard times alone and don’t want anyone else to feel like they have to. 

Overall, they come across as a very good human being, but there’s an underlying tiredness to them. They might be dealing with a little bit of brain fog, so at times they’re slow to process the world around them.