#we need the contraption

[chiropteracupola]

front yard decor installation featuring:

ladder dubiously balanced on a steep gravel slope

me, wearing a jack-o-lantern bike helmet like some kind of halloween-themed construction worker

small neighbor child hugging our lawn dragon

neighbor adult + dog Staring in Gravest Concern (not pictured)

[blujayonthewing]

melliwyk lived in her house for over a decade, and it was The Haunted House before she moved in and lived there as a largely reclusive wizard, making it The Haunted House (they say a witch lives there!), and one of the most fun routine-breakers in her life was when kids and teens would brave the trek through the woods to dare each other to knock on her door, which she always rewarded with Haunted House theatrics

[graysbullshit]

I COMPLETELY understand the Riddler. Like, sure I speak in riddles and No I don't expect you to solve them right away, but duuuuude are you really that stupid???? It wasn't even a hard one!!!

[birdmenmanga]

vege guy is so funny though. when we went to the capital to stay at his mom's place he was like "it's like. it's like a nice place. like. maybe. a little bit... bourgeois... ummm (staring at me with big wet eyes) are you going 2 break up with me..."

[savetheghost]

i wish i had a workshop i could fill with tools and materials like a sponsored renaissance man

[tahirkarim2244]

Advance EMF Security Pet Pendant

[articskele]

Guys the yearning….. gguys……..

[normiematsu]

also looking at my calendar for october in agony why do i have something to do almost every weekend. i want to aggie and be silly on the internet

[twinliches]

my family is fucking addicted to macgyvering and it's becoming a problem. every time something in this house breaks, instead of doing the sensible thing of replacing it or calling someone qualified to fix it, we all group around the offending object with a manic look in our eyes and everyone gets a try at fixing it while being cheered on or ridiculed by the rest.

it's a beautiful bonding activity, but the "creative" fixes have turned our house into a quasihaunted escape room like contraption where everything works, but only in the wonkiest of ways. you need a huge block of iron to turn on the stove. the oven only works if a specific clock is plugged in. the bread machine has a huge wood block just stapled to it that has become foundational to its function. sometimes when you use the toaster the doorbell rings. and that's just the kitchen.

it's all fun and games until you have guests over and you have to lay out the rules of the house like it's a fucking board game. welcome to the beautiful guest room. don't pull out the couch yourself you need a screwdriver for that, and that metal rod makes the lamp work so don't move it. it also made me a terrifying roommate in college, because it makes me think i can fix anything with enough hubris and a drill. you want to call the landlord about a leaky faucet? as if. one time my dad made me install a new power socket because we ran our of extension cords

[eternalsessions]

this is also historically the conservative strategy. they always push this wedge issue that looks like no one would have an issue with like unfairness in sports but if u just look harder its not remotely valid. there are like. literally less than 5 trans kids competing in sports and they are not fucking dominating like the media covers it as, so these lawmakers are cutting policy to torment one or two actual literal children. not to mention sports, though it is close to meritocracy, just like everything else in life, getting onto the field is determined by socio-economic factors. even a player like messi had to take hgh because he literally had health complications, and a lot of players who have his potential or worse never get to see that side of it. its all just bullshit, they know its bullshit, and not a single person advocating against trans people in sports can name 5 women athletes.

and the whole time the policy is given a wide net to also encompass adults. this shit has just been happening the whole time if u watch it so even though its fuckin infuriating its absolutely something u see coming. they push a wedge issue to get their foot into the door and then try to (and sometimes succeed) lead that into bigger and more sweeping issues. absolutely baffled that some people think theyd ever be considered “one of the good ones”

[blujayonthewing]

justin and I were talking the other day about whether/ how melliwyk might fit in and interact with other parties, and it was just a silly passing concept but I realized it's really hard to transplant melliwyk into another dnd setting because she's so fundamentally built into hers

she'd dedicated her life to artificing specifically because it wasn't possible in her world! she's a wizard and a transmutation specialist because it's the field of magic that deals the most with imbuing mundane objects with magic, even if temporarily; she took up adventuring because she'd hit the limit of what known history and theory and experimentation could teach her, and was hoping to make some discovery in fieldwork that would lead to a breakthrough; she's only now An Artificer [player class] because she invented it herself after having someone from a lost world teach her how to craft magic items

'would simon and melliwyk get along' hang on I can't even play in this space because I LITERALLY don't even know whether she's also an artificer in this context

[san8ny]

I COULD BE MOM, (unless you want to be dad?)

?: In which Ellie has been away on a trip, what better ‘welcome home’ gift than delusionally letting her get you pregnant with a strap?

!: Breeding, Praise, Slight spitplay, Strapping, Pussyeating, Obsessed!Ellie, says ‘mommy’ ONCEEEE!

“You can’t.”

Ellie tilts her head, lips falling into a frown, “Maybe if we try enough?”

Was she serious?

“You literally can’t though, Ellie, it’s biologically impossible. You nutting in me doesn’t mean we can have babies.” You roll your eyes, scrolling on your phone before it’s plucked out of your grasp and tossed to the side, “Hey—!”

“You’re so negative.” She smiles, hooking her thumbs into the waistband of your underwear, shoving you back into the bed so abruptly as she sinks to her bruised up knees. You let out a shiver at the implication of what was to be taken place, eyeing the muddy suitcases near the entrance of your shared bedroom before bringing your gaze to what she was doing, “You haven’t even unpacked yet..”

Wrapping her arms around your hips, she pulls you closer to her ravishing mouth, cooing as she thumbs your swollen folds, “Yeah, but i’m a starved woman, you that surprised?” With that, Ellie digs in.

It was going so well, mouth feeling like heaven on you ‘til she spoke up,

“Biologically, did you know the clit has tens upon thousands of nerves?” She says out of nowhere, lifting her head up to display the lower half of her face soaked with your arousal, and more importantly, sizing up your smart-ass retort from earlier when she asked to breed you. “Fuck off..” You tiredly reply, not finding it in yourself to tell her off how you want, not with the delicious feeling of your stomach beginning to coil in what seems like a long-awaited orgasm— but Ellie’s not feeling nice.

She quickly retracts her mouth away, a dramatic ‘pop!’ from your clit when initially does so. She gets up, jogging over to her suitcases to get something, all while your mouth is gaped at her audacity. You’re eagle-spread like a damn french girl, and she just..gets up?

She quickly returns back, sheepishly kissing your hipbone as a half-hearted apology, except you feel something cold and long slap onto it aswell.

Alarmed, you raise your head and are met with one hell of a sight, Ellie wearing what seems to be a literal death contraption— a long, beautifully sculptured, silicone cock, slightly curved at the end with an adjustable harness wrapped around Ellie’s gamine figure. Was this the reason your wife believed she could suddenly re-write the law’s of nature? You gulp when she slaps it once more against your bikini line, this time, slowly nearing your leaky entrance.

“Biologically, you think maybe ‘yer cunt might break from this?” She utters mockingly, leaning forward to kiss the edge of your lips before she runs the tip of the toy inbetween your folds ‘nice and easyyy’..getting it all nice and most importantly, wet. “Geez, who needs lube when I got one of these bad boys..” Ellie says, before trailing off with a laugh when you don’t seem to be focused on any of her words as she plugs you up.

You’re still finding yourself getting use to the exaggerated stretch of the dildo, it’s beginning to feel like it’s practically splitting you in two. You attempt pathetically at gripping the sheets but find yourself wrapping your arms around Ellie, needily pulling her closer to your still-clothed chest. “A-aaah..”

She smiles at your gasps and whines, your pleasure alone intensifying whatever shes feeling by a ton, even if she wasn’t the one taking it. “Just grab ‘onna me.” Ellie says, voice void of any previous teasing but instead a certain softness, “I won’t be mad, baby.”

You nod, eyes cinched closed when she begins picking up momentum; you almost immediately wrap your legs around her lower back, wanting her even deeper, somewhat understanding what ‘dickmatized’ meant now. “Uhn! Uhn! E-llie!” The redhead chortles at the rhythmic hiccuping of her name, groaning when the sharp pressure of your heels drive further into her back, definitely leaving bruises later, “Just take it slowly, ye—eah? ah! ‘m right here, giving it to my favorite girl..”

You two have been in for a while, and Ellie has you a complete mess, milky fluids forming at the base of her cock each time she bullies her hips into yours, ripping a cute sob outta you. If she could marry you a thousand times over, she would— she really would. If only you saw yourself through her eyes, the sheer and utter helplessness she feels when you’re handling kids, knowing you’d make the best mommy out there, and god, she’s a sucker for you, buying you everything you ever ask because she’s head over heels in-love with your very essence. She’ll build you up everytime you fall and never complain. You were her dream girl.

Speaking of dream, she gently pats your cheek, asking you in a docile voice if you’re still with her, and when you nod back, with lttle pools of crystals forming at the ends of your lashes, Ellie is about to free-touch cum at this point, needing to get you to that point with her ASAP. She runs her thumb over your lip as you instinctively take in her digit, swirling your tongue around it while she quickens up her pace, sinful slaps of skin echoing throughout the humid room and likely to the rest of the home too, a clear indication of how far she was willing to go with you. “I-i’m gonna cum..” you mewl pitifully, tits moving forward eachtime she rams her strap into ‘ya, finally meeting ellie’s gaze somewhat as saliva seeps past your lips, dribbling down the thumb she had on the tip of your tongue. Ellie brings her head down to your shoulder, rocking her hips hard and fast, a slight bulge forming in your lower stomach from how deep she was in your guts, all while her beautiful sounds play in your ear, each little huff and tuff of praise.

“So warm..so soft, y-you’re ‘gna be the end of me, mommy..” Ellie whimpers admittedly when the end of the strap repeatedly stimulates and bumps into her engorged clit, and to put an end to her soft streak, Ellie meanly presses a hand to your lower-belly, forcibly bringing you to, hands down, one of the most pornographic, blissful, soul-shattering orgasms you’ve ever had in a long tome, creaming all over the strap, your thighs and her tanktop. That sight of you alone, also, makes her cum when she finally bottoms out, body feeling limp as it falls over you.

She eventually rolls over you, draping a tatted forearm around her eyes to shield her from the moon beams shining in from your windows. “Why do we even open that one—“ However, upon noticing your steady breathing and occasional snores, she drops whatever she was gonna say, scooting closer to kiss you— lips lingering when she finally pulls back from your cheek.

She never understood when Joel and the other mopey adults around her would complain about marriage, and quite frankly, she doesn’t think she ever will, not until her cold dead body is ripped away from yours.

‘Til then, she was gonna build this family up with you, your future kid’s adoption papers still in one of her suit-cases as she lifts herself up to her elbows and eventually to her feet, retrieving a warm wet towel from the bathroom to clean you up with, especially not having the heart to wake you up.

Not that you could likely still walk after the number she’s done on you.

[alastor-simp]

Alastor with a female reader who is selectively mute Part 1

I always wanted to know how Alastor would react to a demon character like this or who is similar to Komi-san from Komi Can't communicate, so this is going to be my take on it.

**First Meeting**

Your arrival in hell wasn't a pleasant one. Literally the second you fell, you were approached by demons left and right, either trying to rob you or offering to sleep with you. Yelling at them would have been easy, but you were a very anxious person to the point you were mute with everyone you encountered. Surprisingly, you were able to run away from the unwanted problems you faced in hell, and was able to come across a flyer that was taped to one of the alley walls. "Come stay at the Happy Hotel" it read, and you figured that it might be a good place to stay for a while and try to make a sense of what you could do now that you were in hell. Having followed the map that was on the other side of the flyer, you were able to come across the hotel, but the neon sign was different then what the paper said, but you figured they probably were remodeling it.

The hotel was huge, it was plastered with neon signs, but also had a radio tower on one side, a large fish like contraption, and a pirate ship. "Amazing" you thought to yourself as you made your way closer to the door, and lightly knocked. A cheery voice was heard on the other side and soon the door opened to reveal a pretty, blonde girl. She had devilish features, but a very adorable baby face, and her smile was quite cute as well. "Oh! Hello! My name is Charlie Morningstar. How may I help you?", she said to you with big bright eyes, as she was patiently waiting for your response. Clenching your jaw, feelings of anxiety began to well up in your stomach, but you bared with it and simply held up the hotel poster in front of Charlie. Charlie was a little curious about your strange response, but she put the pieces together that you were wanting to stay at the hotel. "SQUEAL!! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR COMING!", she said as she threw her arms around you in a bear hug, then letting you go as she pulled you into the hotel.

The inside of the hotel was nice, but needed some remodeling, but you liked it overall. Looking around, you noticed the other demons that were in the hotel. A mini demon was zipping around in a cute dress, cleaning the ceiling with a duster, a cat like demon was chugging a bottle of booze at the bar, and a very tall spider was standing next to the record player, picking out a song. Stopping what they were doing, they all turned to look at you, curiously. Nervous, you raised your hand at them, signifying a hello. The cat demon just nodded his head and continue chugging, while the fast demon zipped in front of you, waving back with a smile, before zooming away to finish cleaning. The tall spider gave you a wink, as they walked to the bar and took a seat. "Vaggie! We have another patron!" Charlie said, as she yelled out next to you, while also leading you to one of the lobby couches to have a seat. As Charlie walked away, your eyes began to scan around the hotel, taking in every detail, and also glancing at the portraits hanging on the wall with Charlie and what looked to be her parents.

"Why Hello there! Who might you be?", a static voice said, as you looked up to see a red suit man with a very sharp smile standing in front of you, leaning down to place his face closer to yours. He was dressed to the nines in a red striped coat, along with a monocle and bow-tie. He also appeared to be holding a microphone staff? Was he a singer by chance? Realizing you were getting distracted, you just nodded your head at the man, and pointed to the poster, similar to what you did with Charlie. The man raised an eyebrow, as he continued to lean closer, most likely waiting for your answer, as his smile got wider, almost breaking his face.

**Alastor POV**

Alastor's eyes continued to stare at the quiet demon, who was holding the poster and kept tapping against it frantically. Amused, Alastor leaned closer, while moving his staff to tap against her chin: "Something wrong my dear? Cat got your tongue?" Alastor watched as the demon remained silent, but he could tell by their eyes that they were nervous, oh how entertaining. "Oh Alastor! So nice of you to show up! This is our new patron who just arrived at the hotel", Alastor heard, as he turned to see Charlie smiling at him, while dragging Vaggie by the hand. Leaning back from his position, Alastor continued to gaze at you while turning back to Charlie. "Ah! So this wayward sinner is here to stay at the hotel! Excellent!" Alastor beamed, as he look down at you, while you shifted in your seat.

**Your POV**

You started to feel a little uncomfortable with everyone's eyes on you, making you clench your hands on your lap. You noticed the other demon next to Charlie. She had long grey hair, and only one of her eyes was showing. She did give you a hard gaze when she saw you, but it softened after few minutes. As she came closer to you, she waved her hand as a hello, while also asking what your name was. You stayed silent, as the butterflies in your stomach made you feel like you wanted to vomit, as everyone was watching you, waiting for your answer. "Whats the matter with you, toots? You deaf or something?", The spider demon had taken a seat next to you, while wrapping an arm around your neck with one of his arms, while poking your cheek with his other hand. Freezing up, you felt your eyes start to water, and you started to slightly shake. Charlie noticed your reactions and bent down on her knees to gaze at you, asking if you were alright. Taking a slow deep breath, you nodded then made a notion with your hands asking for something to write on. Charlie quickly got up and ran to the desk to grab a large notepad and pen, before coming back to you. Once you had the notepad, you began to write down what you wanted to say, before turning the notepad around for everyone to see, while giving them a shy smile:

"Hello my name is Y/N. I just arrived in Hell a few minutes ago and I saw your poster and wanted to stay here. I'm sorry for not responding to you guys normally, but I am selectively mute, I'm sorry again. Its very nice to meet all of you!"

Everyone around you slowly read the notepad and all turned back to look at you. Charlie and Vaggie looked very apologetic, the spider just shrugged his shoulders, the mini one just continued to smile at you, but more softly this time, and the cat demon just continued to drink from the bar. The man in red, or Alastor as they called him, continued to smile at you, seeming unfazed by what you wrote, but you noticed his eyes soften a bit, but he made sure to hide it from the others. "Oh! I'm sorry if we made you uncomfortable." Charlie began to bow her head, but you waved your hands, letting her know it was alright. Charlie raised her head, and soon her frown turned back into a bright smile: "Oh yes, let me introduce everyone! This is Vaggie, my girlfriend. The spider next to you is Angel Dust. Niffty is the small cute one. Husk is the one at the bar, and this is Alastor." You listened to all of the names Charlie said, and looked at everyone, while smiling and nodding your head. Angel Dust smirked while looking at you, turning you head to look at him: "You're quite a cutie aren't ya? I bet your voice sounds very sexy." Angel continued to wrap his arms around you, continuing to flirt with you, until Alastor's staff smacked him on the head. "Now my good fellow! It's not proper to talk that way to a lady! Please kindly remove yourself from them!" Alastor said, as he gazed at Angel, smiling still, but it looked more menacing this time. Angel let you go, while rubbing his head: "Satan F*** Al! You didn't have to hit me with that thing!" Vaggie then yelled at them both to be quiet, as she walked over to front desk and grabbed what looked like to be a room key. She walked back and handed it to you, telling you that your room is on the fourth floor and you can go up there and get settled. Nodding your head as a thank you, you began to walk over to one of the elevators and made your way to your room.

Arriving in your room, you scanned around the interior. The room had some dust and cobwebs, but a little cleaning would help with that. The room was decorated in a maroon red, with a large bed with black sheets, two large windows with curtains, a bathroom and a very wide closet. It almost felt like you got the home suite, which made you feel guilty as you really didn't need a extravagant room like this. Still in thought, you were alerted by a rhythmic knock on your door. Walking over, you looked in the peephole to see Al standing there with his big smile. Opening the door, you nodded your head at Alastor, as he smiled down at you. "Hello again my dear! I was wondering if you had time to chat!"

***Alastor POV***

The quiet sinner nodded her head at Al, while opening the door, allowing me to come in. How adorable! He thought, while making his over to the center of the room and turning back to look at them. "Now my dear! I am here wanting to apologize for how I acted in the lobby! I wasn't behaving like a proper gentleman and I understand if I made you uncomfortable, so let me offer you my sincerest apologies! Let's start over from the beginning, shall we?" Alastor bowed his head a bit, as a sign of him apologizing, and extending his hand out in a handshake. You appeared taken aback in Alastor's eyes, ,but you gave him a soft smile and shook his hand. Once you finished shaking hands, you grabbed the notepad and pen again and began to write to Al, as he gazed at you, wondering what you were writing before you turned the notepad around. Alastor leaned closer, and began to read the message:

"It is alright, Alastor. There is no need for you to apologize. And besides, I'm the one that should apologize for not answering your question when you asked me."

Alastor finished reading, and turned his eyes towards you. His sharp smile slowly turned into a soft grin and his glowing eyes had softened. "Don't worry about that my dear! Now I take it since you will have just arrived in Hell, you are lacking some necessities correct?" Alastor had moved away from you, as he continued to talk while walking around your room. Turning back to you, you gave him a small nod. "Then we will head to the city! Me and Charlie can accompany you! What do you think?" he said, as he turned back to you, with his large grin coming back. Nodding your head at Alastor was his indication that you accepted. Smiling wider, Alastor turned back to you, as he made his way to your door. "It feels that I have extended my stay, so I will leave you be darling! Do make yourself comfortable!" he said, as turned his head back to you. Pulling out the pad again, you wrote down another message and showed it to Al.

"Thank you."

"Your welcome my dear! Have a pleasant evening! Also don't forget to head to the kitchen later! My mother's famous jambalaya is on the menu for tonight! So good, it nearly killed her! HAHA!" , Laughing out his response, Al watched as he saw you give him a smile, a real smile this time. "My! What a gorgeous smile!" He thought, as he bid you adieu and made his way back to the lobby. As he made his way back, Alastor stopped and thought about you. Puzzling was a word he used to describe you. He had never encountered a sinner down here who chose to not speak while having the ability to do so. He mostly assumed you were terrified of him, due to his status as "The Radio Demon. Most feared overlord in Hell.", but that wasn't the case. Something about you made him feel odd, hell he even apologized to you, which he would never do given his massive pride/ego, so he wondered why. Seeing you write on the notepad and apologizing for not responding normally, made his heart ache. Why should you apologize for something like that? Realizing he had stopped in the middle of the hallway, he carried on back to the others, still thinking about you and also how would your voice sound when you spoke out loud. Alastor smiled wider, as he thought you were going to be a very special and entertaining sinner here at the hotel.

Part 2 of the story is Here

[cy-cyborg]

I'm begging dragonage fans to do a tiny bit of research about arm amputees before loudly shouting their opinions on the inquisitor returning in the next game Please lol.

Apparently, it was confirmed that the inquisitor, your chatacter from the last game (who looses their arm in the final cutscene of the DLC), will return in Veilguard as a customisable character, similar to Hawke, and they will play an active roll in the story. This has caused a lot of people to start speculating on how they'll handle the inquisitor's missing hand, with most people agreeing they'll have to have a prosthetic to be an active part of the story. Which, while I do think this is the rought bioware will take, isn't true, and a part of me really hopes they leave the inquisitor without a prosthetic arm like in the end of Tresspasser

Partially because we already have a companion with a prosthetic (neve) and it would be nice to see some diversity in how amputation is depicted in such a mainstream game, but also because you dont need a prosthetic to fight as any of the main 3 classes from inquisition.

Mage:

mages just need a staff, the game shows them as 2 handed weapons but it's totally beleiveable that it would be usable 1-handed (Neve also uses a dagger-like weapon in the trailer, you can make a "staff" in inquisition that functions more like an energy sword, and the Mage in the chargers uses a staff resembling a bow, so I think it's more that they just need a focus, the shape doesn't matter as much). A knight enchanter may struggle more 1 handed, but I wouldn't write it off as an option with some modifications made to their main staff.

Warrior:

the easiest to justify, because there are several cases of arm amputees fighting with a sword and sheild in history, and while many did have prosthetics, most weren't functional (meaning they were mainly for aesthetic purposes and didn't actually aid the fighter in any way. There were exceptions, like Götz of the iron hand, who's prosthetic was functional, but most were not). The inquisitor looses their arm just above the wrist*, so they still have most of their forearm. Most sheilds strap to the forearm, so it wouldn't take much adjustment to make that work, and you can use the other hand for the weapon. Obviously, two-handed weapons will probably be off the table, though, lol.

*edit to say, as several people pointed out, i got that wrong, my bad 😅. The inquisitors arm is actually amputated through the elbow, the screenshots i was looking at just weren't very clear and it has been a while since i got to trespasser lol. It would still entirely possible to strap a shield to the upper arm though, with some pretty minor adjustments to the existing straps on standard (as in, those used by non-disabled warriors) tall shields, so the point still stands.

Rogue

this is the one people tend to be the loudest about and the one I understand the most. Obviously duel-weilding daggers won't work (unless you give them something like the hidden blades in assassin's creed on their stump side, I guess) but using a single dagger still would, and is a perfectly reasonable approach, given that's how most irl people used daggers. Archery, though, absolutely can work without a prosthetic, despite what people think. Dragonage has crossbows, not something like Bianca (rip) but a small, single-handed crossbow is an option. Even ignoring that though, amputee archery is a thing irl, and not every arm amputee uses prosthetics for it. The bows are modified to be held in one hand and drawn with the mouth using a kind of pully-system built into the bow that I could very easily see being modified into some dwarven-style contraption in game (some double arm amputees use their feet to draw regular bows, but I don't think that would be pheasable in combat).

Like I said, I think bioware will probably go with a prosthetic, but i hope that they don't. Or at the very least, show them with it sometimes and without it other times (the same goes for Neve, no one wears their prosthetic 24/7, I'd love to see them both take them off around the home base, even just occasionally). A lot of arm amputees in particular prefer to go without one, and arm prosthetics in media are some of the worst offenders of the "perfect prosthetic"/"miracle cure prosthetic" tropes. It doesn't count as "diversity" or disability representation if it doesn't actually change anything other than the look of the chatacter, and im really, really desperate for some actually decent amputee representation in games.

[flwrkid14]

The First Fenton-Drake Thanksgiving (ft. Ghosts, Bats, and Pure Chaos)

So, Tim Drake and Danny Fenton got married. No one really knows how it happened—just one day, Tim came home from a mission with a ring on his finger, introduced Danny as his husband and left the batfamily spiraling.

Now, it's their first Thanksgiving together. And of course, things couldn't just be normal.

-----------

Danny’s Idea of Thanksgiving: Quiet. Just them. Maybe a simple meal. Chill. Relaxed.

Tim’s Idea of Thanksgiving: Invite everyone. And he meant everyone.

-----------

Cue the chaos:

The Guest List:

The entire Batfamily (enthusiastically invited by Tim)

The Fentons (Jack, Maddie, and Jazz—armed with ghost-hunting gadgets)

A few ghosts from the Infinite Realms (because Tim insisted they needed to “experience traditions”)

Possibly some rogue League of Assassins members (Tim says it’s complicated)

-----------

The Day Begins:

Danny wakes up to the smell of... way too many things cooking. Not a good sign.

He stumbles into the kitchen, eyes widening. “Tim, why are there three turkeys?”

Tim, flipping pancakes: “Options. We’ve got regular, ectoplasm-infused, and vegetarian.”

Danny: rubbing his temples “Tim, it was supposed to be just us.”

Tim: innocent smile “I thought you’d enjoy the company.”

-----------

The Fentons Arrive:

Jack: “Smells great in here, Tim!” Maddie: examining the ectoplasm turkey “You said this enhances flavor? What’s the biochemical process behind it?” Tim: “It’s... complicated.” Maddie: pulls out a notepad “I need to run some tests later.” Jack: “Are we talking ghost science?!” Danny: facepalms “Here we go.” Jazz: “Danny, are you okay?” Danny: staring at the chaos “I... guess.”

-----------

The Bats Show Up:

Dick: “This is amazing, Tim! You went all out.” Danny: whispers “Please take some of them home.” Jason: “I brought pie. And also whiskey.” Tim: “Perfect.”

Damian: eyeing the ectoplasm turkey “This looks... unnatural.” Tim: “You’ll love it.” Danny: groans “I need a nap.”

-----------

Ghostly Guests:

Ember is playing loud rock music in the living room.

Skulker has taken it upon himself to hunt the fourth turkey.

Technus has hacked the TV to show every football game at once.

Bruce is trying to make small talk with a glowing ghost. It’s not going well.

-----------

Meanwhile, the Fentons:

Maddie is way too interested in the contraptions and safety measurements Tim and Danny have added to their home, asking Tim about each one. Jack keeps trying to bond with Jason. (“So, you came back from the dead? Let’s compare notes!”) Jazz is refereeing between Damian and Dani, who are debating weapon efficiency.

-----------

Talia Shows Up:

Because of course she does.

Talia: “Timothy. I see you’ve outdone yourself.” Danny: whispers “Why is she here?” Tim: sighs “It’s complicated.”

Talia: smirking “I brought dessert.” Danny: “... Is it poisoned?” Talia: “Only if you want it to be.”

-----------

The Dinner Table:

The ectoplasm turkey definitely glows.

Jack Fenton accidentally sets a dinner roll on fire.

Damian challenges Dani to a duel... over dessert.

Bruce is visibly regretting every life choice.

Dick: “This is... surprisingly fun.” Jason: “I love this level of chaos.” Danny: mutters to Tim “I’m never letting you plan Thanksgiving again.”

Tim: smirking “You love it.” Danny: grumbling “... Maybe.”

-----------

After Dinner:

The ghosts attempt to help clean up. (They make it worse.)

The Fentons try to “analyze” the batfam. Bruce retreats.

Skulker and Jason are still debating hunting methods.

-----------

Later, on the Rooftop:

Finally alone, Danny and Tim look out over the city.

Danny: “You really went all out.” Tim: “You deserve a big celebration.” Danny: smiles “It was... chaotic. But fun.”

Tim: quietly “Welcome to the family, Danny. All of it.” Danny: smiles wider “Thanks, Tim. Even if they’re... a lot.”

Tim: grinning “Next year, bigger?” Danny: laughs “You know you’re lucky I love you.”

Tim: grinning “Yeah. I know.”

[simpurnatural]

NSWF ALPHABET || Min Ho Moon Edition

XO, Kitty - Min Ho Moon x Fem!Reader

Note from Nat: "I think it's safe to say that we all would like a slice of Min Ho Moon. But hopefully this smutty alphabet helps us cope! Enjoy babe <3"

Warning ⚠️: NSFW, Smut, Cussing, Kinks

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Minho likes to clean you up with a towel and wipes. But definitely prefers a shower if your legs are up to it.

B = Body part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Minho's favorite body part of his own are his hands because they help him explore and please you. Your mouth is his favorite whether he's kissing it, fucking, or hearing whatever explicit noises you make for him.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

He loves the feeling of you cumming around his cock and watch as it drips out of your pussy.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He loves riling you up, getting into a heated debate with you. There's something about the way you assert yourself which makes him wish you were more dominate in the bedroom.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

UH HELLO? He's literally considered a playboy. I think it's self-explanatory.

F = Favorite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

Missionary, even though that sounds pretty basic. But literally whatever position that allows him access to your entire body, especially your tits.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

I wouldn't necessarily say he's a goofball during sex, but he definitely loves to tease you.

H = Hair (How well-groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

Min Ho shaves down there regularly and considering his love for skin care, I think the carpets do in fact match the drapes.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

He isn't vanilla but will definitely be gentle and soft a majority of the time. But he also has his hot, raunchy, rough days.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

Knowing that it gets you going to watch him stroke his dick is really one of the only reasons he does it. Plus, he likes watching you stroke it for him like a good girl.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Min Ho has a praise kink that hasn't fully tapped into because he wants to remain seemingly dominant. He also has a dom kink but would love to see you ride him like a cowgirl. Ooh also a sugar daddy kink, he wants to take of you as much as possible.

L = Location (Favorite places to do the do)

The bedroom or any bedroom for that matter. Not saying that you guys haven't tried it anywhere else... ;)

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Min Ho gets turned on by the sight of you in the clothes he buys for you. Whether that may be dresses, heels, bathing suits, more intimate pieces o_o

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

He doesn't want anyone else in the bedroom doing the deed with you guys. He also doesn't see a need for toys or any contraptions either.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

Okay I know I said that he was a seasoned and experienced man, but he still needs some work on giving. But he loves watching you work on length whilst he sits back and enjoys the scene.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

Min Ho can do both, but it definitely depends on his mood. Fast and rough if you've teased him far too much or he's had a bad day. Slow and sensual is when you guys are completely on your own without any distractions.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

He loves a good quickie. In the car? Yes. In a storage room? Yes. Between classes? Yes.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

He doesn't like most experimentation because for him, his body and yours is enough for a brilliant time. But loves to joke about you two getting caught.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

He never wants to overexert you nor himself so two rounds max in one go.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

Toys are a no no for Min Ho.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He loves to tease you, especially when in public spaces where neither of each other can fulfill your lustful needs in the moment. He also loves when you tease him, it somehow always catches him off guard.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

He won't be shouting from the roof tops, but you'll be hearing some low groans and moans from him.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

Min Ho is definitely the type of guy to book an air bnb or luxury penthouse for the weekend so you two can playhouse *if you know what I mean...*

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

He has decent girth but is lengthier than you may think.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Min Ho being a gentleman is up to it if you're up for it. But if it were completely up to him then ya'll might never leave the bedroom.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He'll fall asleep as soon as he knows you're cleaned up and taken care of.

JAN 2025