#we need a Mantis emoji

[wonderful-emoji]

space ghost (coast to coast) emojis? thank you, i hope you have a good day :-)<3

[plague-vulture]

we need a mantis emoji :((

[irbcallmefynn]

buges

🐜🦗🐛🪲🐝🐞🦋🪱🐌

Oh hell eyeahg there's so many of them

Not enough though. We need more buge emojis. Where's the mantis? Why don't I get to be included? No fly? Really? 🕷️ Spiders are honorary buge. No moth emoji? We need more buge emojis.

[guardian-rocket]

GOTG Texting headcanons Part 1

Headcanons since I been RPing Rocket's texts out I thought I'd put my thoughts on how each Guardian (or ex Guardian) texts. Just so I don't have to write it out on each one, no Guardian uses any internet codes like 'lol' or 'brb' because they don't know it. I am not headcanoning that all the Guardians have phones this is more along the lines of 'if' (although I'd assume Rocket and Nebula do from their time with the Avengers, Rocket with a dumb phone and Nebula with an outdated smart phone)

Rocket: Pretty formal, generally good punctuation, maybe a little too much, feels dumb about emojis but throws them in on occasion because he thinks that's the normal thing to do and wants to also seem normal. He can be fast or slow to respond depending on if he's in the mood to talk to people which comes and goes. His phone also only has the basic emojis so newer ones he can't see on his phone or use.

Peter: Will use short hand like "u up?" little to no use of capital letters unless he's trying to yell. He's a horrible speller because he never finished school and he takes a long time to text back because he's still learning the qwerty keyboard layout, which he hates.

Drax: He hates texting mostly because it's hard for him. He would write very formally when he does however. Proper punctuation and it's almost poetic. He would heavily try and keep to just simple one word answers when he could but he will also use complete sentence when he could send out a one word reply such as "We have arrived." instead of just "Here." He finds both slide out keyboards and touchscreens to be irksome so generally would prefer not to bother with it unless he has to.

Mantis: Would use a smart phone and use it pretty normally. She is the most enthusiastic about texting, and of the Guardians is the most adaptive about it. She can hold entire conversations and keeps it going. She makes occasional typos and uses no short-hand but she comes off natural.

Nebula: She use to only text with one hand since her robotic arm didn't work with her touch screen, when Rocket built her new arm he made sure it'd work on touch screens so she could use both hands like everyone else. She's formal when texting but doesn't hold lengthy conversations. After her upgraded arm, she is the fastest texter of the group, but that also may because she also gives the shortest replies. She's pretty no nonsense about everything but she'll send a picture of something if it reminds her of a person, such as seeing a new walkman at a junker shop, and texting Peter, "Tell me if you need this."

[angelnumber27]

we need a praying mantis emoji. And a nudibranch emoji

[stickers-on-a-laptop]

we desperately need more beetle emojis, dragonfly emojis, and praying mantis emojis

[chaosandthe-deadblog]

who is mantis. eye emoji

GOING RIGHT FOR THE WEIRDEST ONE ARE WE

you know how everyone has a punching bag oc? mantis is the oc i use to repedeately roundhouse kick and shoot in the face

you may recognize him for the giant fucking scar on his face which i need a couple tw's to get into, his puffy black and white hair and chronic deadpan face. he is permanently angry and the rest of the gang had an inside joke of how no one has ever seen him laugh. also he's like, a contract killer that calls himself an "exorcist" because he literally has magical powers related to dead people (both him and his sister are witches, beetle has Magical Empathy and she uses it to give therapy this isn’t a joke)

what else can i tell you about him

his real name is Apollo (beetle's is Artemis) and he has a pet white crow named Milkshake. if you wanna know what his arc is, think of what i call the Hunter pipeline (from very scary to pathetic and sad wet cat) also! i invented some kind of magical type of disability for him, where his staff serves as the equivalent to a mobility aid, being that using magic without it requires so much effort it can give him from headaches to migranes and sometimes even cause him to faint

(also he has some fucked up gay thing going on with tomas but that's for me and the rats in the walls)

[giantgirlwithatinyheart]

Mantis!

And we need a mantis emoji!🦗

[galacticnova3]

sunflower emoji

I think we as a society need to start appreciating neuroptera a lot more. Like sure, odonata are great and all, love me some dragonflies and damselflies, but what about dobsonflies? Owlflies? Lacewings, antlions, mantidflies?

Like, look at this lad I found! This is an owlfly. They look like someone mixed together a butterfly(antennae, body), odonata(wings, mouth), and a fly (eyes). Body feels like that of a moth but isn’t the same shape, but jot that down anyways.

And!! They come in blue and yellow flavors!

Antlions are also super cool, this is an adult lad I found tonight/last night since its after 4 am. They’re also called doodlebugs! And start out as the lil dudes that make the cone-shaped pits in sand. These are what the trapinch line in Pokémon are based on!

I’ve only ever encountered one dobsonfly in person, but I at least got a picture! This was a male one based on the mandible size, and despite their intimidating look they actually can’t pinch very hard because they’re so big! It’d be like trying to pinch someone via two sticks, one in each hand. The females can apparently do so, though, but as I said I haven’t met any others besides this lad. They’re surprisingly light and fluttery, reminiscent of a butterfly in terms of how the flying felt. Also in size; this one was a bit longer than my palm.

And lastly I am absolutely enraged by the fact that I only learned about the existence of mantidflies a couple days ago. They look like a fusion between a praying mantis and a wasp, but they’re neither and also can’t sting! THAT’S SICK AS HELL, I WANT 20 OF THEM(captive bred, not wild caught obviously) SHIPPED DIRECTLY TO ME BY 2 DAYS AGO! WHY HAVE I NOT SEEN AT LEAST 50 MANTIDFLY HOLLOW KNIGHT OCS? WHEN ARE WE GETTING A MANTIDFLY POKÉMON? HOW DO I MAKE THEM START MANIFESTING PHYSICALLY IN MY HOUSE? I WANT ANSWERS!!

Basically we all need to start appreciating more glass-looking winged bugs besides just dragonflies. Well, everyone else, I’ve already started because I am epic and have great taste in insects. Granted I also got attached to some wasps that chilled on the frame of the front door of my house for several weeks(no nest, just 6-8 wasps huddled up) last year. But that’s besides the point! All bugs deserve love and it needs to be distributed more equally among them!

[danzinora-switch]

Typing the Turtles (ROTTMNT) Part 2 - Donatello

This started out as an investigation into the turtles’ insecurities, because one thing the show does so well is demonstrate that they are still teenagers. And being a teenager is a confusing experience - there’s angst, drama, exploring one’s identity, a lot of growth, and overall figuring out who you are. That’s a messy process, too! And we see this mess in our turtles: they mess up, they’re learning, they self-doubt, they have fears and insecurities, but they’re also discovering their strengths and how to overcome their inner obstacles.

So after thinking about all this way too long, here’s my psychological breakdown of each turtle (I’ll be referencing MBTI and the Enneagram, but will include links for more general information on those if you don’t know what I’m talking about).

Donnie: INTJ, 5w6

The Architect, the Investigator, the Problem-Solver, the Observer

Firstly, getting into this analysis means that we have to step away from the stereotype that all INTJs are cold, aloof, and unemotional. INTJs, especially Turbulent ones, do express emotion, and we’ve all seen Donnie’s dramatic ‘theatre kid’ side. I’m not going to ignore that. He manages to be both thanks to the INTJ’s tertiary function Introverted Feeling (Fi). Extroverted Feeling (Fe) really allows one to connect and empathize with others’ emotions. Fi, however, is a more internal experience of feelings, and has trouble connecting with others without having been in their shoes. I happen to think Donnie is in a strong Ni-Fi loop, as well, which would make sense because fighting bad guys every day while trying to save the world after discovering a Mystic City which upbends everything you ever knew is pretty stressful. https://www.psychologyjunkie.com/2017/06/21/intjs-loop-understanding-ni-fi-loop/

And it’s super interesting that he often expresses his emotions by literally saying them. “Evil laugh! Relishing chuckle! Gasp!” (Mind Meld) and, one of my favorites, he literally says “Sad face emoji” in Many Unhappy Returns.

So while we DO see Donnie experience and display his own emotions, we also DON’T see him all that affected by other people’s emotions. He’s still pretty stoic in Mystic Mayhem after the delivery guy gets mutated, cracking a joke about imitation crab. He’s unaffected by Todd’s puppies in Repo Mantis, and the only one immune to Warren Stone’s sob story in Warren & Hypno Sitting in a Tree. Pizza Pit shows it best when he’s unaffected when Mikey’s favorite pizza place collapses until the same thing happens to him. Fi at work vs Fe.

As for Donnie being a 5w6, keep this core motivation in mind: “[Fives] Want to possess knowledge, to understand the environment, to have everything figured out as a way of defending the self from threats from the environment.” https://www.enneagraminstitute.com/type-5

Donnie at his Worst: Donnie vs. Witch Town gave us this gem of a line: “Because I’m the science guy! If mystic powers can do everything I can do, but better, then why would you guys even need me?” And while people have pointed out his need to be needed, I argue it’s a little more accurate to say he has a need to belong. His role in the group is the Brainiac, the Science Guy, the Smart One, and so his very identity is tied into fulfilling that role. A 5’s core fear is of being useless, helpless, or incapable. Mystic powers rendering his tech redundant, and thereby him useless, would be a pretty big threat to the security of his role in the group (that 6 wing kicking in). And remember a 5’s core motivation: to understand the environment as a defense. And he still doesn’t understand mystic energy. It’s pretty infuriating, so he’s pretty insufferable about it.

[Note: seeing mystic power as a threat probably didn’t kick in until their fight with Shredder in Many Unhappy Returns. Prior to that, his brothers were still learning how to use their magic weapons, but Donnie already understood his tech well enough to use it effectively (see their first fight against Baron Draxum in the pilot). But against the Shredder… all his tech was useless. Only the hanky, the hanky, was even marginally effective. His brothers’ weapons were now way more capable than anything he had to offer… core 5 fear. And to cope? Learn all you can about your fear/threat. Except he still hasn’t figured it out; we see even in Air Turtle that he calls Draxum for the mystic expertise instead of formulating his own hypothesis].

We’ve seen this insecurity about his place in the group before. In Mind Meld, as his brothers become more like him, his role is challenged. “Hey, you’re trying to get rid of me, that’s what I do to you!” “But, I thought purple was my... my thing.” When he first meets the Purple Dragon he immediately wants to join them because he sees them as tech peers. In Man vs Sewer even though he professes that it’s his day off, he doesn’t react well whenever Leo does ‘his thing’: analyzing the situation and drawing a conclusion. His self-worth seems to be tied to what he has to offer the group, and we hear that even in his song in The Mystic Library about proving himself.

Besides his insecurity, Donnie is practically allergic to blame. (Interestingly enough, he’s more okay with being wrong and others being right sometimes… sure he’ll deflect, but it doesn’t seem to get under his skin the way being at fault does). He will repeatedly deny fault and shift the blame to someone else when something goes wrong. He denies creating AlBearto in Al Be Back, says the incident with the Purple Dragons in The Purple Jacket is entirely April’s fault (she is not amused) and puts the blame for ditching Todd off on his brothers in Todd Scouts. The one time we see him own up his mistakes is in Mind Meld when no one (except Shelldon) is around to see it. “Yup. I beefed up.” This is definitely an area he needs to work on.

Average Donnie: Donnie cares for his brothers, but that doesn’t always get across in the best of ways. Take the episode Donnie’s Gifts, for example. Donnie never actually got a chance to explain how the gifts work, but we can see protective elements in each of them. Raph: please use your head and don’t just blindly rush in! Mikey: ohmygosh that is so dangerous, please be careful and don’t get hurt! Leo: stop poking the bear, Leo, it only makes him angrier! It makes sense that a 5 who has external fears of the world and has their own protective equipment (the Battle Shells) would extend that to his brothers. And Donnie was able to recognize that even though his brothers got the wrong message, he could move past that and call for a group hug. In the Purple Game he is super anxious to make sure his brothers are okay and not mostly hurt. Insane in the Mama Train also reveals the invention of the Panic Button… and who designed that?

Donnie also seeks a lot of validation. He takes pride in his work, and when his work is appreciated he gives that appreciation back tenfold [such as when he shows off the Turtle Tank to his brothers (Fast and Furriest), or when Splinter says he’s proud of him (Turtle-dega Nights: the Ballad of Rat Man)]. The flip side is that when he’s not getting the validation he needs from others he’ll create it himself, which comes off as arrogant and egocentric. See Smart Lair, when Sheldon 1.0 plays messages of Donnie’s self-worth all night, and is programmed to favor him. Or when he takes full credit for defeating a bad guy: the silverfish in Donnie’s Gifts, and scaring Draxum away with his disco ball in Shadow of Evil. When he gets the recognition for all his hard work from the right people, though, it inspires him to do great things. There is danger in getting validation from the wrong people, however, as we saw in Big Mama’s case in Bug Busters.

Donnie at his Best: Donnie’s at his best (and most relaxed) whenever he’s learning or building something. He gets super excited and happy attending April’s school (The Purple Jacket) or going to the library (The Mystic Library) and wants to attend college someday (The Mutant Menace). The INTJ/5 seeks to absorb information and he’s constantly energized by it.

He’s also energized when he can put that information to use, such as when building something. Did Albearto need a total tear-down in War and Pizza? No. But Donnie had fun making him ‘dazzle!’ How did Donnie cope being in the woods in Todd Scouts? By building an impressive tree fort. Donnie’s projects actually relax him, because he’s exercising his strength and capabilities.

This also works for his method of attacks and plans: Know Thine Enemy. He studies Warren Stone in Newsworthy when they meet him and is the only one who remembers he regenerates by Warren & Hypno Sitting in a Tree. Donnie and Mikey are able to successfully scam Repo Mantis in One Man’s Junk because they know how he thinks. Donnie thwarts everything the Purple Dragons do and can bring Shelldon home because he knows how they operate  (The Purple Game, Breaking Purple). He can restore his brothers to their rightful minds in Mind Meld because he knows himself. 

Also: music. The fact that one of his Battle Shells has a music mode (Mascot Melee), that he remembers things in song form (The Mystic Library, Donnie vs Witch Town), and that he likes to dance (Stuck on You) is so pure and adorable.

Donnie Relationships: 

(while Donnie does see his brothers as dum-dums at times, he admits they’re fun and pretty great to have in Mind Meld)

Raph: We really need a Donnie and Raph episode, but even without one there’s some moments we can look at. I already discussed in Raph’s analysis their general similarities. Donnie doesn’t think Raph always has the brightest ideas, but still has soft moments with him such as giving him $20 at the end of Mind Meld, designing the ‘captain’s chair’ of the Turtle Tank to Raph’s lumbar settings, and appreciating Raph’s pirate accent in Snow Day. They are both protective of their brothers, Raph with his fists and Donnie with his tech. It’s interesting that (I believe) they’re the reverse of each other on the Enneagram: Raph is a 6w5, and Donnie a 5w6. So they both understand the risks involved in what they do (mostly: Donnie still ate poison and Raph still goes on ‘smashcapades’). I really want to see a team-up between them.

Leo: I’m all for the Disaster Twins trope, but to me an episode that epitomizes that isn’t one like Lair Games, where they’re at each other’s throats, but Operation Normal. They’ve apparently done the grandma-getup before. They wind up playing as good cop, bad cop in Fast and Furriest. Sure, one’s high-strung, and one’s laid-back, which can get on each others’ nerves, but there’s also a lot of making up. Brotherly betrayal passes back and forth between them, but never crosses a line. And the numerous times they unconsciously mirror each other can be found with a simple search of the Disaster Twins tag. I’m interested to see more episodes where they work together, even in the background, just because they can get up to wild shenanigans.

Mikey: Mikey’s probably the turtle Donnie most gets along with. They’ve had several episode team-ups: Repo Mantis, One Man’s Junk, Turtle-dega Nights: the Ballad of Rat Man, Breaking Purple, etc. Donnie may be the team academic, but Mikey has strong emotional intelligence. They get along pretty easily, making plans together (One Man’s Junk) and protecting each other (we see Donnie protect Mikey in Repo Mantis and Bug Busters, but we see Mikey protect Donnie by pulling him out of the way in Smart Lair). Donnie helps Mikey focus on the goal at hand, and Mikey helps Donnie communicate better with others. They’re a good team with a pretty solid foundation.

Ultimately, Donnie’s an inventive turtle who wants his brothers to be safe but is still wrestling with a lot of insecurities and unhealthy stress levels. I’m excited to see how he grows into real confidence and utilizes his strengths as an integral member of the team.

For more information on the INTJ and Enneagram 5 personality types, click here:

https://www.16personalities.com/intj-personality

https://www.crystalknows.com/enneagram/type-5-wing-6

https://thoughtcatalog.com/heidi-priebe/2016/01/mbti-and-the-enneagram-2/6/

[ccliffjumperr]

📃🎶💕💎 for hollow knight!! i love when ppl talk abt their hyperfixations dhjfk sorry if this is too many

Thanks! And don’t worry, it’s not too much! Tumblr crashed the first time I finished this so time to try again...

The plot of Hollow Knight is that you are a tiny bug who arrived at the ruins of a kingdom called Hallownest for unknown reasons. The kingdom isn’t fully dead yet, but it’s pretty close. Everything is infected with orange, except for a few npcs you can find and also the Mantis Tribe. They’re fine. The npcs can be found all around Hallownest, and I’m so glad nothing bad happens to them ever. Anyway, it turns out the kingdom tried to keep away the infection through various means, but it didn’t work. There was a sacrifice- four of them -made to contain the infection, but even that didn’t work. Even the City of Tears, which was closed off to prevent the spread of infection is now filled with husks. So what’s the goal? Eventually you find out you need to travel across the kingdom to find three dreamers and kill them to break the seals. What are the seals? What is it hiding? You’ll have to play to find out! Please do.

-

I absolutely adore all of Hollow Knight’s soundtrack. It’s so good. Nightmare King slaps so much even though I’ve only heard it in game for about a minute since. it’s a really tough boss fight. I’m sure I’ll do it eventually. Eventually.... One track I think is overlooked is the Soul Master’s theme. It’s sooooo good, and under-appreciated. It even has to share a spot in the offical soundtrack with the soul sanctum theme. But it slaps so much!!! I could listen to it all day. Whenever I do listen to it I actually have to walk around in circles to stim. I also love Nosk. It’s simple but still very good and scary. Even the ambient violin noises in Deepnest sound great! And Crystal Peaks... everyone loves Crystal Peaks. The guitar at the end though. And who could forget the Hive Knight? Me, apparently, I almost forgot to mention his theme! It’s so good I love it so much. You should listen to it! Now.

-

I’ve already talked about Lemm so now it’s Tiso’s turn! Mato is next if I get another ask with that emoji.

I love Tiso even though all he did in game was talk shit and. you know. His design is super cool even though there’s that cursed fact I’ll be bringing up in the next answer. Also he is funny... he goes “WAAAAAAH UUUAAAA!” as his battle cry. Which is also something I do whenever I’m close to death when playing a game. Did you know that if you talk to the Stag when Tiso is sitting in the station, he basically says his vibes are rancid, but if asked he would still give him a ride? This is never brought up again. I am emotionally invested in any au where Tiso is ok. And people should give him more credit, he seriously isn’t lying when he says he’s a skilled warrior. He got through Trial of the Warrior and Trial of the Conquerer first try with no healing and only his shield. How. And Trial of Fool is so unfair anyway, why are there garpedes??? Why are there mantis traitors??? Why are there soul twisters?????? IS THAT A MAWLEK- I’d hate to be the guy in charge of capturing those enemies. Oc idea. Little do people know, Tiso’s dreamnail dialogue of “...why?...” is actually him asking “why the fuck are these particular enemies here?”. I bet he’s never even seen a soul twister in his life. Anyway I like Tiso a lot.

-

Did you know that according to the person who drew Tiso, his head is shaped like his hood? I have decided to ignore that.

Another fact is that Ogrim was originally banished. I wonder what for? And you would get to fight Dryya. I’m kind of glad we didn’t because I don’t want to kill Ogrim’s friend :(

[1-800-jmsbckbrns]

‘dinner’

hc #28 || mob!stucky x sugar baby!reader

‘this is my friend, peter’

baby: can i have a friend over for dinner tonight? i really want him to meet you and buck bear 🥰💗❤️

Y/N stared at the message she sent almost an hour ago. He hadn’t read it yet, but her bundle of nerves were growing. Steve didn’t let many people come into their home without a lot of background checks. 

“Hey, we can always just hang out another time. It’s really okay, Y/N.” Peter offered a smile. Y/N softly sighed.

“But I want you to meet Stevie and Bucky. They have to meet you eventually.” 

Y/N closed her laptop and shoved it in her backpack. She didn’t think she’d need one, considering it was her last semester of college, but the workload was too heavy to not carry her books with her. She was often studying every chance she could get.

“We’ll meet. It may just be a little later. It’s gonna be okay, Y/N,” Peter said. He had always been so kind and reassuring. She couldn’t ask for a better friend, really.

PING

Y/N quickly opened her phone to read the message. Took Stevie long enough. 

stevie 🥰: That’s fine 

“You can come over for dinner!” Y/N beamed with joy. She elected to ignore the lack of emojis or affirmation. He was probably busy and didn’t have time to type. 

“Wow, okay. What time should I be there for?” Y/N looked to her watch, lips puckered to the side. 

“Come by at 7 or so. Park in front of the fountain, and make sure to be on time. Wear maroon. It’ll win Bucky over in a second flat.” Y/N let out a squeak of joy before she got up to leave. Her best friend was coming over for dinner! Everything would be great!

Or at least, that’s what Y/N was clinging to. She stood in the foyer a few hours later, hands clasped together in worry. It was nearing 7, and none of the men she needed here, were here. 

“Muffin, they’ll all be here. They’d be a fool to not show up with you looking like this,” Natasha said. She rested a hand on Y/N’s bare back. Her black dress hugged every curve, leaving very little to the imagination. 

“I know. I’m just worried is all. Tonight needs to go perfectly.” 

Out of the beautiful glass work, a car pulled up in front of the fountain. Y/N bolted out the door and waited on the front step. Peter stepped out of his car, fresh baked pie in his hand. He had been paying attention. Apple pie was Stevie’s favorite. 

“I almost got lost. Made it on the dot, though.” Peter tacked on a laugh at the end. 

He was right. It was 7 ‘o clock on the dot. 

Natasha took the pie, having the two head further in while she took care of the dessert. Y/N opted to give him a full tour. He would love the place. 

They visited almost every room, Y/N showing him what they had to offer. The most important stop was her room. Peter expected more pink, but the room was so tastefully done. Silk sheets, desk littered with both makeup and schoolwork, stacks and stacks of books on the bookshelves. It was beautiful in here, he noted as they exited the room.

Peter noticed Y/N started to check her phone more and more as they went on. Something was off, but he wouldn’t pry. He had tried once and it didn’t end well at all. She would open up when she was ready.

“And that’s the place. I know it seems like a lot, but it’s really just like every other home.” Y/N’s smile was so sweet, but it didn’t reach her eyes. Her phone was gripped tight in her hand. 

While they walked down the hall, Y/N noticed Stephen standing outside of the office doors. He had a steely look on his face, but when he saw Y/N, he offered a kind smile. 

“Hi, Y/N. What can I do for you?” He would do anything for her, if he needed to. (It was his job, after all.)

“Is Steve in there? Do you know where he and Bucky are?” Stephen sighed before nodding. 

“He is. They both are, actually. They won’t be able to attend dinner, but they both urge the two of you,” he nodded to Peter briefly, “to eat and enjoy the night. They’ll try to pull themselves away if at all possible.” 

Y/N’s smile turned to a hard pout. She crossed her arms as tears welled in her eyes. 

“Tell them not to worry about it. Peter and I will just eat and go see a movie or something, if they think me and my friends aren’t worth being around.” 

It was hard to not be a brat right now. She didn’t want to act this way in front of Peter, or even Stephen. They didn’t need to see that side of her. She just couldn’t help the attitude after her hopes getting crushed. Steven and James were getting such a talking to. 

“Sweetheart, you know-” Stephen started as Y/N walked away with Peter in tow. She stopped in her tracks, daggers thrown his way. 

“I do know. Let me be upset. I’ll be home in a while.” She didn’t wipe her tear away until she was out of Stephen’s view. 

“Come on, let’s go see a movie. Get your mind off this for a while.”

The two ended up going see some scary movie. Y/N couldn’t focus one bit, knowing she had thrown a tantrum for no good reason. Stevie and Buck were just doing their job. Stevie had been upping the trade, and now that Buck had been moved up to be his personal bodyguard, where Stevie went, Buck followed. It wasn’t their fault they were providing for their family. 

“I’ll drive you home. Make sure you get home safe.” Peter pulled his car keys out when they walked out. Y/N checked her notifications. There was a text from an unknown number. 

???: Be there to pick you up in two. Wait outside. - Strange

Oh, she must have forgotten to save his phone. Y/N was a dummie sometimes.

“Stephen is on his way. You go ahead and go home. I’ll see you in class tomorrow.” They hugged, and she kissed him on the cheek. Peter made it to his car without a problem. 

A sleek black car pulled up right as Peter pulled away. The windows were a bit tinted, but Stephen was not in it. Whoever was in the car was too burly to be Stephen. 

Y/N slowly started to walk away from the mysterious car. If she could just get back inside, she could-

She was stopped in her track when a sharp needle punctured her neck. She let out a cry, knees buckling under her. Two lean arms caught her before she passed out on the concrete. 

A hulking man in the driver seat watched as the woman put Y/N in the backseat. He glanced at her once to ensure she was knocked out. 

“What does the boss want with the tart anyway?” The woman shrugged as she fixed her gloves. She sat in the passenger seat before they peeled out from the theater. 

“Beats me. Quill just told me where to be and who to take,” Mantis said. She had a... knack for making people go to sleep. She was one of Quill’s best, after all. 

“Whatever. At least we’ve got her now.” Drax hoped Quill didn’t do something stupid. He was definitely known for doing such things...

author’s note: A gang rivalry upon the horizon...? Also, I was thinking of maybe doing an actual series for the mob stuff, but not with a definitive plot. More of posting HCs that start from the beginning and just stay relatively linear. Would you guys like that, or do you guys just prefer what’s going on now?

requests: open!

tags: @AACTUAALTRAASH | @ALWAYSADREAMINGOPTIMIST | @MOCHIBARNES | @RORYSHITPOSTS | @DISASTER-ROSE | @STUCKYSHEART | @LIBBYMOUSE | @GRTCHN 

[themurphyzone]

Lucky Thirteen Ch 3

Ch 3: Three’s a Crowd

Come to Alvizo’s Cafe on Haywood Street. My treat. 

He sent the text, wondering if Dakota was even awake. He’d see the text soon enough, and the promise of brunch would be incredibly tantalizing for his food-obsessed mind. 

The quickest way to Dakota’s heart was through his stomach after all. Cavendish paying for the meal was just the cherry on the sundae. 

The downside was that he’d also have to pay for Doofenshmirtz’s meal too. There was no way around it. Dakota would get suspicious if he didn’t pay for Doofenshmirtz. And Cavendish couldn’t afford to be seen as anything less than a gracious host. 

“That’s weird, the Tip-inator’s supposed to automatically calculate the tip based on your bill and generate the right amount. I have no idea why it’s spitting out enough coins to fill up a Swiss Bank.” 

The floor was completely littered in dimes and quarters, and workers had to take it slow so they didn’t trip over the metallic piles. Many patrons were shooting dirty looks at Doofenshmirtz, though he didn’t seem to notice or care. 

“Can’t you turn it off?” Cavendish asked. 

Doofenshmirtz rolled his eyes. “And miss a chance to do good? Society doesn’t appreciate servers and vendors enough! I should know, I used to be a bratwurst street vendor. I would do my whole ‘I am a Superstar’ routine again if it meant getting this many tips.” 

Cavendish’s phone buzzed. 

Be there soon. Yum! 

Dakota had tacked on a slew of food emojis at the end of his message. For some reason, Dakota insisted on using cups of tea and hamburgers in every text conversation. 

“Moving on. Dakota will be here in just a few minutes. Remember, your job is to make things less awkward than they already are,” Cavendish said. 

Doofenshmirtz threw up his hands. “Hey man, I’m a do-gooder, not a miracle worker. But look on the bright side you unjolly green giant, you don’t have to worry about your budget. If you don’t have enough, you can just scoop some coins off the floor to make up the rest of the bill.” 

Cavendish wasn’t cruel enough to subject a poor worker to counting that many coins. Go figure that Doofenshmirtz managed to figure out a way to help an employee with finances while simultaneously diminishing their efficiency at work. 

Cavendish patted his lapel, making absolutely sure the ring box was secured. He couldn’t afford to lose the rings again. 

The clock’s hands ticked on. 

Dakota still wasn’t here. 

There weren’t any new messages either. 

What’s the exact timeframe of ‘soon’ in this context? A few minutes, an hour, a day, or when the Earth ceases to exist? 

Doofenshmirtz snapped his fingers in Cavendish’s face, bringing him back to the present. “Geez, did you eat something last night that turns you into a praying mantis? Cause I don’t want to be anywhere near you if you’re gonna adopt the whole behead your mate thing.” 

Cavendish realized that he’d been involuntarily holding his arms in front of him, bent at an awkward downward angle. The praying mantis description was somewhat accurate. He shoved his hands into his pockets, slumping against the back of his chair. 

He’d never been good at hiding that particular nervous tic. 

“No, I am not adopting that bug’s appalling mating or dietary habits,” Cavendish muttered petulantly. 

“That’s a relief. Just thought I’d warn you from personal experience, avoid all insects during your proposal. They tend to bug the intended fiance,” Doofenshmirtz said, grinning widely at his own pun. “You see what I did there? Bug as in insect bug?” 

“Yes, you’re a pungeon master entirely worthy of an Emmy award,” Cavendish muttered. “So you’ve proposed before? What did you do?” 

“Wrote a musical number and hired backup singers. Jazz is Charlene’s favorite genre. Had this whole nifty bit with the saxophone. She was impressed. Then a swarm of bees were attracted to the pots of honey we used as background props and stung almost everyone. Charlene managed to escape unscathed, but the backup singers had at least four stingers each and I had to go to the hospital because of allergies. Charlene managed to smooth everyone’s feathers out, cause the backup singers weren’t that happy with me afterward.” 

Note to self: Try to avoid anaphylactic shock via bee stings during proposal. Easy enough to prevent: just don’t involve honeypots in any way, shape, or form. 

“Then we got married, had Vanessa...remind me to show you pictures later, she’s always frowning in her baby pictures but she looks so adorable doing it...oh, and now we’re divorced.” 

Cavendish thought he’d misheard that last sentence. 

Doofenshmirtz coughed. “Now that I think about it, mentioning divorce probably isn’t soothing your nerves.” 

Divorced. Please let me fall to Earth’s molten core so I don’t have to deal with this anymore. 

Dakota arrived half an hour later. He munched on a chocolate donut, casually wading through the pile of coins that were now ankle-deep. 

“What took you so long?” Cavendish griped once Dakota sat down. 

“Donut place had free samples. Figured I’d grab one for the road,” Dakota replied, licking the chocolate off his fingers. “And I can’t say no to the breakfast burritos here.” 

“Yes, heaven forbid that you refuse food,” Cavendish agreed. 

“Yeah, he was all worried about being jilted,” Doofenshmirtz added. “Perry the Platypus did that to me from time to time. Like, I get the mysterious secret agent schtick, but at least tell me why you can’t thwart first.” 

Cavendish scowled. “I wasn’t worried about being jilted! You’re completely misconstruing the situation!” 

Realizing that people were staring, Cavendish quickly buried his head in the menu and pretended to read the pancake options. Since Cavendish was preoccupied with his embarrassment, Dakota was the one who signaled a waiter to come over and take their orders. 

“Blueberry pancakes with tea,” Cavendish mumbled to the waiter, regretting that he couldn’t hang onto the menu to hide behind when he needed a moment to recuperate. 

Rather predictably, Dakota ordered breakfast burritos. 

Doofenshmirtz decided on eggs and bratwurst. He spent four minutes rambling about the superiority of bratwurst to hot dogs before the waiter got fed up and left for the kitchen. 

“How’s Milo doing?” Dakota asked. “I’m trying to lay low for a while. I think his parents are trying to get me and Cavendish to pay for a new table since we used theirs to temporarily plug a deadly vortex.” 

“He told me some of my bad luck came from not thinking things through,” Doofenshmirtz said. “I think he’s onto something.” 

“Yeah, he’s a smart kid,” Dakota said.  

“So if I just take enough time to think about my actions, I can avoid stuff blowing up in my face at a later point. Alright, so I ordered eggs and bratwurst, and that doesn’t come with dairy, so my body won’t react from lactose intolerance, the cafe gets $10.99 from my order alone, unless the coins build up enough to cause structural damage which they’d have to spend money to fix,” Doofenshmirtz mused. He quickly pressed a button on the Tip-inator, and the coin flow trickled to a halt. “Oh, that’s useful. I found a potential consequence and I figured out how to avert it. Thinking through stuff works!” 

By now, everyone’s knees were buried underneath the coins. Parents had to carry their children out the door. 

The waiter finally delivered their food, then rushed over to help a coworker who was stuck behind the counter.

Cavendish tried to focus on cutting his pancakes instead of how he had nothing to talk about. How did one broach the topic of engagement? 

Thank you for not letting me stay dead. Will you marry me?  

Yeah, that would go over well. 

“You gonna say something or what?” Doofenshmirtz asked, poking Cavendish with his fork. “Cause you’re quieter than Mother whenever she gave me the silent treatment.” 

Cavendish brushed the offending utensil away. “I was about to say how...nice the sun is today.” 

Dakota pointed to the gray clouds that blanketed the sky. “It’s overcast.”

“Of course,” Cavendish quickly amended. “The clouds look nice today.”

“Are you sure you’re feeling okay?” Dakota asked. His breakfast burrito threatened to dump its contents all over his pants. 

“Dakota, keep that greasy thing over your plate,” Cavendish scolded. 

Dakota sighed in relief. “Never mind, you’re fine.” 

“Look, a nonspecific thing in the ceiling!” Doofenshmirtz shouted, pointing above Dakota’s head. When Dakota glanced at the ceiling, Doofenshmirtz snatched Cavendish’s arm and hauled him to the restroom. 

Cavendish yanked his arm out of Doofenshmirtz’s grip. The doc was faster than he looked. 

“What’s gotten into you?” Cavendish snapped.

Doofenshmirtz scowled. “That’s my line, mustachio. The sun is nice? The clouds are nice? I can’t believe you sunk low enough to start talking about the weather! That’s like, first date material! The kind that doesn’t lead to a second date!” 

“I was nervous!” 

“I was nervous when I proposed! And you know what? I just did the musical number anyway! Just pop the question already!” 

“Why are you even here?” 

“You told Brigitte and Martin that you wanted my help! Okay, Martin seemed oddly happy that I was out of the house but oh well. They filled me on the way over here,” Doofenshmirtz said. 

“You’re the worst wingman in the history of wingmen,” Cavendish growled. 

“I’m beginning to understand why Perry the Platypus always seemed more annoyed when he had to wingman my dates,” Doofenshmirtz sighed. “Still, I don’t think I was ever this hopeless.” 

He has a point. This is hopeless. 

Cavendish turned to the sink, splashing his face with water to clear his mind. 

“What do I even say?” Cavendish muttered. 

“Well, if you can’t do musical numbers or long, flowery speeches, there’s always the direct approach.” 

Though he was fairly certain that Doofenshmirtz and direct were complete opposites, Cavendish decided to humor him. “What’s your idea for the direct approach?” he asked. 

“Some punching, a little kicking...you know if you throw your hat like a projectile he’ll probably find it cool. And trapping! Trapping him in your clutches works too!” 

“Never mind. I regret asking.” 

“And the manager had to bring out this really tall stepladder! And he was afraid of heights so he asked our waiter, but he was afraid of bats. So they tried getting this other girl to do it but she was afraid of ladders,” Dakota said, continuing his play-by-play of the events that Cavendish and Doofenshmirtz missed while they’d argued in the restroom. “So they got their chef out here and guess what?” 

“He was afraid of ceilings?” Doofenshmirtz guessed. 

Dakota shook his head. “Nope, he was scared of the spider that made its home in a top corner of the ladder. But they got the bat down, so crisis averted.”  

Doofenshmirtz and Dakota laughed together, but Cavendish really didn’t see what was so funny about it. At least heights, ladders, bats, and spiders were all tangible. 

Cavendish couldn’t pinpoint his fear toward one thing when it came to the dreaded question. 

Their food was cleared away, then the check was dropped off. Cavendish felt a bit guilty when he saw the receipt.

“What’s up? More than you expected?” Dakota asked. 

“Said it was my treat, didn’t I?” Cavendish said, carefully counting out his money to make exact change. The total price of their meals didn’t bother him, but the physical receipt did. 

He looked up to find Doofenshmirtz pinching his index finger and thumb together to form a ring shape, not so subtly indicating Dakota with his other hand. 

Okay, maybe I can do this. How hard can it be? Face Dakota. Open mouth. Try not to insult him. Take out ring box. Actually, speaking should go somewhere in there too. 

“Dakota, there’s something-”

“WE HAVE SECURED PERMISSION TO SEARCH THIS CAFE!” 

Everyone screamed as coins suddenly flew everywhere. Three men in perfectly tailored suits and sunglasses spread out, swiping through coin piles and upturning tables as they searched. 

“Excuse me, gentlemen,” one of the men said, stopping at their table. “Many of the patrons have stated that a machine is the source of these coins. They pointed us to your table. Do you know anything?” 

Cavendish and Dakota were fully prepared to deny these accusations, but Doofenshmirtz beat them to the punch. 

“The Tip-inator’s mine,” Doofenshmirtz said, brushing coins off the machine and setting it in front of the stunned agent. “Waiters won’t have to worry about bad tips again with this puppy!” 

Some people were just asking to be punched in the face with an elephant. 

“Counterfeiting is a federal offense. We’ll have to take you in,” the man said as he handcuffed Doofenshmirtz. Then he gestured to Cavendish and Dakota. “Are they accomplices?” 

“No,” Doofenshmirtz scowled. “I was wingmaning them cause the leprechaun can’t-” 

“Yeesh,” the agent grimaced, and Cavendish was grateful for his timing. “Word of advice: don’t pick felons for wingmen.” 

Tell me about it. 

“Wow, so this is the consequence I should’ve been wary of, not the structural damage thing,” Doofenshmirtz said as he was led to a white federal vehicle and taken away. He may have the right to remain silent, but he sure as heck wouldn’t be taking advantage of it. 

“Why was he wingmaning us? Did you need a mediator cause you’re mad at me for some reason?” Dakota asked. 

“Yes and no,” Cavendish said. 

“This is about me dropping your Professor Time boxers into the red load at the laundromat, isn’t it?” 

“No, it’s not that. I wanted a nice brunch and then he goes and gets himself arrested and I’ve been overcome by the urge to strangle my twenty-year-old self for buying that Professor Time pin-up calendar...and you dropped my Professor Time boxers into the red load?” 

Dakota grinned. “I plead not guilty.” 

“Don’t even joke about that,” Cavendish muttered. 

“Thanks for the burrito. It was good. There’s an adoption fair in the mall today. You wanna go look at cute animals?” 

“You go ahead. I think I need a me day,” Cavendish said. Mostly to think about his next course of action, since Operation: Propose After Brunch was a complete bust. 

“Catch ya later then,” Dakota said, humming to himself as he walked off. “Goin’ to the fair. Goin’ to the fair, and then I’m gonna see some animals!” 

The world didn’t end. It’s not exactly the worst case scenario. 

“Krrr.” 

Cavendish looked up from his sulking to find Perry the Platypus examining the Tip-inator. The men must’ve forgotten to take the machine for evidence. 

“The federal agents arrested Doofenshmirtz for counterfeiting,” Cavendish explained. “He was trying to correct the issue of bad tipping.” 

Perry tipped his hat in a silent thanks, scribbling out a note that stated he would speak to Doofenshmirtz later. 

And use some cartoonish physical violence too. Cavendish chose not to question it. 

Perry flipped a switch in the Tip-inator, and the coins vanished in a flash of light. Then he ripped out a wire, disabling it for good. 

“When you see him, can you punch him once for me?” Cavendish asked. 

Perry saluted, more than happy to oblige the request. 

It wouldn’t solve his proposal problem, but it made him feel better. 

AN: Talk about a trainwreck

[angelnumber27]

we need a firefly emoji. And a praying mantis

[attina-the-responsible]

How to Ask Out a Boy, According to Mermaids ~*~ [Mersisters]

In which Attina needs help!

[feat. Andrina, Arista, Alana, and Ariel. Adella and Aquata in spirit. <3]

@arista-the-musical, @alana-the-badbitch, @ariel-the-rebellious

Attina BREAKING NEWS: okay well not totally sorta kinda WELL andrina knows because i told her last night but anyways anyways GUESs WHO GOT A BOY'S NUMBER LAST NIGHT for the first time E V E R

Ariel: OMG OMG WHO

Alana You're welcome

Attina yes yes, shout out to Alana for giving me the gumption where would i be without you. [kissy face emoji] Attina ANDD his name is Paul. he's superrrrr handsome and charming.

Andrina and a dad,

Alana so when are you meeting

Ariel OH HE'S THE DAD GUY

Alana wtf Alana ew

Attina okay YES he is a dad but Attina babiessss Attina they're so cute

Alana double ew

Ariel he's really nice he seems like a good dad Ariel also he gives good advice

Attina wait, ariel how do /you/ know him??

Andrina wait how does ariel know him

Arista Sorry guys I had to wrestle my phone away from Van.... but now that I'm like caught up ATTINAS GONNA BE A STEP MOM

Ariel and he knows about safe sex

Andrina wait

Attina woah what

Alana what

Ariel texting!

Alana clEARLY NOt Alana if he has kids

Attina Oh god, I didn't even /think/ about that. Attina Maybe it was an accident?

Andrina so let me get this straight, your mystery guy was texting about /safe sex/ with Ariel

Ariel well yeah but he says that he was married and they wanted babies or something i think

Andrina ????

Attina Wait. He /was/ married???

Ariel it was a long conversation!

Andrina ?????

Arista Glad I don't have to worry about pregnancy anymore~

Ariel I think? I don't remember!

Andrina Honestly, I don't even know where to start with this

Attina Do you still have the texts???

Alana l m a o

Ariel Yeah! Hold on, lemmie get em

Attina Sidenote: Arista you should still be being SAFE

Ariel Okay okay he's a bartender... scrolling...

Arista I dunno guys like maybe he tried to do the right thing and marry the lady he had the kids with because he wanted to be responsible. Attina likes responsible

Alana when you bang him, you can look deep in his eyes and know he was telling your baby sister about rubbers

Attina ALANA

Ariel He likes chocolate

Alana i am just saying

Andrina I mean, he could have told her a lot /worse/

Arista No chocolate would be a deal breaker

Attina everyone likes chocolate ariel i need to know if he was MARRIED

Andrina could've gotten his dick out

Ariel OH, NO. NOT married

Alana that is also true

Arista unless he's allergic

Ariel he clarified that very distinctly

Attina Oh thank god. Okay SEE you guys

Alana woop de doo atty not a divorcee

Ariel He also said good boys like to be asked out by girls

Attina Look, he's very sweet and I'm not going to judge him for mistakes he's made. Not a Attina: WAIT what

Alana told you

Ariel You should ask him out!

Alana you listen to him and not me Alana do it do it

Ariel Safe and consensual sex matters, uhhh

Attina I CANT ASK HIM OUTTT

Andrina I really feel like we need screenshots before we can go forward with this convo because frankly i dont know if this guy tried to hit on ariel or not based on the info i'm getting

Arista Okay, so I'm like not the most observant but that sounds like a line to Ariel... Jumping from baby to oldest kinda fast. I wonder why I didn't get a line from him. Did anyone else get a line?

Andrina: see ^^^^

Andrina THANK you arista

Ariel His kids come first

Alana maybe he's gonna go through all of is

Ariel ASK HIM OUT

Alana **ys

Ariel I'm still reading hold on

Alana GODDAMNIT

Attina oh god

Andrina SEND SCREENSHOTS

Arista If there's one thing I know its music and boy lines

Alana nails are drying

Ariel OKAY OKAY

Arista oh wait thats two

Ariel [screenshots attached]

Arista or multiple

Attina wait ariel, he didn't hit on you did he???

Alana you can count arista im bloody thrilled

Ariel He was not hitting on me!!!

Andrina OKAY EVERYONE. Focus:::::

Arista ... Arista [sad face emoji]

Ariel Oh he didn't use a condom Ariel You should use a concom

Alana yes, attina, listen to ariel Alana i can buy them for you if you're scared

Andrina wow quoting shakespeare. u think he googled that

Attina GoD Attina I don't think so, he seems like the bookish type, honestly Attina he told me to impress him with movie references

Alana ariel for the love of god how little about sex do you know

Andrina ok h o n e s t l y these seem pretty pg, i am embarrassed on behalf of ariel if anyone Andrina love you ariel

Alana ' Is sex hot bc it's sweaty?'

Attina I feel like we apparently don't talk about sex enough

Ariel Listen, I hadn't been in the water for a while! I wasn't feeling right!

Attina all that pruning go to your head?

Alana are you going to tell us about the birds and the bees

Ariel Also sex is confusing. They tell you one thing in school and then movies and t.v shows portray otherwise.

Arista Guys he must like really like Attina because like he said he says nicely no to girls he doesn't like. So like he must really like Attina or he would've said no. No pity dates nope

Andrina ^^^^

Ariel Yeah pay attention to what Arista said!

Andrina yes getting back to the point now that we've #crisisaverted

Attina I don't know I don't know maybe he was just being NICE

Ariel He IS nice!

Arista Then wouldn't that make him a liar? right guys? right? Arista because he told ARiel one thing

Ariel No no he has kids and he's nice and he gave Attina her number!!

Arista and then is just "being nice" and saying yes so

Ariel Attina ASK HIM OUT!!!

Attina Well, maybe he was just taking pity on me like lol what is there to like

Andrina b o o attina stop that

Ariel Ummm, so much????

Alana oh my god attina

Arista You is kind. You is smart. You is... I don't remember the rest of that quote of the movie I watched with you Atty but it doesn't matter because those two things are true [okay hand sign emoji]

Arista Also Vanellope says hi and that you're super cool Attina

Attina important. That's the last one THO also probably the least true of those lmao

Andrina well if vanellope says it

Arista and that I look really cute when I'm worried

Alana if you dont text him i will

Arista and that I should stop typing everything she says, no serious-- Oh right yeah

Attina boys don't care about kind or smart

Andrina dont be a misandrist, attina

Andrina kidding Andrina dont generalize men attina

Alana actually jk i dont want to deal with kids

Attina He knows you're my sister so i doubt he'd give you his number

Alana how does he know??

Arista I thought that meant she didn't like woman

Attina oh wait that might be a good idea we can test him and see if he really would just give his number to anyone

Arista women*

Attina I pointed you out the other night

Alana wow

Attina WHAT he asked about my sisters and i couldn't find andrina

Alana no i meant wow about the whole TESTING HIM Alana sometimes you just have to take a chance

Attina also arista misandry is like the opposite of misogyny, which is what you're thinking of. i know, they're very close together

Alana on loooveee

Andrina ok as much as i'd love to fake-hit on Dilf Patts, that really wouldn't prove anything because he's a free bloke right now and i'm amazing so

Alana ask arista

Attina well we cant all have super cute nerdy girlfriends we're weirdly perfect with

Alana thats why you have to TAKE A CHANCE

Arista yeah like the ABBA song should be paul's theme song playing behind him right now "TAke a chance on me"

Arista wait what

Andrina AND attina what if you ran into another cute boy tomorrow and you hit it off and you gave him his number too?? you didn't enter into a social contract that's why you have to A S K H I M O U T

Arista what are we asking me Arista I was too busy singing ABBA

Attina ARIsTA got asked out not the other way around Attina what if i push too much you know i push too much

Andrina ok new strategy

Arista I kissed her first before she asked me out tbh

Andrina you text him Andrina first Andrina you Andrina make riveting conversation Andrina you entice him Andrina into Andrina asking Andrina you Andrina out

Alana flash your tits Alana no dont do that

Andrina second date, alana

Arista whats up with your phone Andrina

Alana lol

Andrina what Andrina do Andrina you Andrina mean

Attina more like maybe six or fifth date

Alana yeah Alana what Alana do

Andrina fourth date, but we'll debate it at another time

Alana you

Arista wow maybe it's my phone

Ariel Don't flash your tits! Ew!

Attina ALSO where is ariel did she disappear? alana go see where she is Attina oh hello sis

Ariel I had to pee Ariel LISTEN

Alana 😇

Attina im not flashing my tits at ANYONE

Ariel He said he likes when a girl asks him out!! Ariel So ask him out!!!! Ariel If he says no there are other of fish in the sea Ariel Some literal

Attina okay okay Attina wait

Andrina i can't believe you just made a mermaid joke Andrina yes i can

Arista yeah def ask him out, boys are more clueless than me sometimes

Ariel Well we ARE mermaids, remember?

Attina he told me to text him interesting animal facts right

Andrina no i forgot

Alana wait we are????

Ariel OH OH

Arista how could you forget Andrina you have a tail

Attina B U T

Ariel TEXT HIM MATING FACTS

Alana holy shit thats why i had a bloody tail in the bathtub Alana yes be like Alana the female praying mantis decours her mates head Alana real sexy

Arista you had a bloody tail? ew Arista also ew to the following

Ariel Did you know penguins mate for life? That'd be really cute to say

Attina no you don't understand i already told him about how starfish put their stomachs out of their bodies to eat

Andrina she shared with him that fact about starfish's digestive syst-- Andrina great minds

Alana perfect the praying mantis wont throw him off

Attina I TOLD HIM that he was kind of like a penguin

Andrina yeah he'll be like eat my head

Attina but saying they mate for life is er a little strong

Ariel SO IT'S THE PERFECT FACT

Andrina then youll be SEXTING

Alana that's sexy Alana eat my head

Ariel Don't eat his head

Attina im not going to SEXT im trying to get him to idk go to dinner

Arista nah boys don't like teeth

Ariel Oh! Oh!

Andrina facts about animals and food

Alana here's a wild idea

Andrina be like

Ariel text him about LOBSTERS!

Andrina did u know that animals, eat,

Alana "hey paul, do you want to get dinner?"

Ariel and then be like HEY SPEAKING OF LOBSTERS

Attina i can't do another sea creature that might be too obvious

Arista Oh oh oh, I like Lan's

Ariel and then ask him to go eat lobster Ariel which i might not approve of but

Attina what if i went for something totally innocent and left field like idk

Ariel or just ask him if he likes lobster! Ariel OH I KNOW

Attina a leopard only succeeds at 1 out of 7 hunting attempts lol bc then it's like me, trying to date,,

Ariel "How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the ice!"

Alana well at this point literally ANYTHING

Ariel that's classic!

Alana thats cute ^^

Arista Very cute I like it

Attina oh that is kind of cute

Andrina all of these are GREAT options

Ariel leopards must be hungry alot :C

Attina nah their kills last for a week

Alana then its time to move on

Arista yeah no... self-decapitation? self...dep... whatever that word is with the texting and being down on yourself with the leopard

Alana yeah don't self-decapitate, atty

Andrina self-decapitation is exactly the correct word

Ariel Oh okay

Attina ugh. Attina should i go with the polar bear one then? what do i say after that?

Ariel Self-deprication, guys. Come on.

Andrina well it would depend on what he says?

Ariel Don't listen to them, Arista

Alana well it depends on what HE SAYS

Ariel yeah you gotta see what that is

Arista Self-deprication. Cool. Got it. Thanks Ariel!

Attina okay let's do a mock version just imagine he says something even /better/ and /cuter/ back

Ariel No prob Ris! Ariel CAN I PLAY PAUL Ariel I'm an actress now. I can do it.

Alana what if asks for tit pics

Ariel Alana!!

Attina he's not gonna ask me for nudes alana i think we've already established he's a /gentleman/

Arista I'm sure Andrina has some lying around

Alana 'm just saying boys can surprise you

Ariel do NOT send nudes

Andrina oh yeah totally Andrina borrow my nudes

Attina also does anyone else wanna take a shot at being paul or is ariel it?

Alana yes andrina pass along the nudes

Andrina i'm just giving them away absolutely

Ariel pfft like the brown hair won't throw him off at all

Alana well ariels the only one whos like Alana directly interacted with him

Attina okay okay go then ariel

Andrina wait i wanna go next though

Ariel okay okay so where is my cool animal punch line that your totally awesome sister gave you Ariel give me something to go off here

Attina hey how much does a polar bear weigh? Attina wait Attina should i say the whole thing what if he knows Attina what if it's too cliche

Arista then its cute if he answers

Ariel omg if he knows and says it back that would be SO CUTE

Arista you guys are like the same person Arista something to laugh about

Alana ^^

Arista cliche's are a talking point

Attina what if he thinks it's lame bc everyone uses it

Alana then you can be self-decapitating

Attina honestly? yes.

Andrina ok this is taking forever

Ariel "Enough to break the ice, I'm guessing. Nice animal fact." Ariel SEE that would be CUTE

Attina then what do i say?? thank you???

Arista wait is that a fact? Do all polar bears weigh enough to like break ice?

Ariel Self-DEPRICATING Arisa

Andrina idk use your people skills Andrina say words

Attina with global warming, probably

Ariel yeah! say thank you! Ariel and then like Ariel something witty

Attina something witty. Attina do you even KNOW ME

Andrina just do the sun emoji and the guy with the shades Andrina do that several times

Alana just do it

Arista wait what why are we yelling SElf Depreciating at me

Andrina then say that thing about global warming

Ariel "I've got a ton of them up my sleeve. But I don't give them out to just anyone."

Alana because we look so much alike, ris

Ariel make it sound like he's special!

Andrina and then you're talking about global warming what topic could be HOTTER

Arista depreciating? deprecating?

Alana this is takign too long

Arista no we don't

Ariel DEPRICATING

Alana has left the conversation.

Attina wow ariel wtf how are you better at this than me that's not fair i've been alive much longer.

Ariel I dunno

Attina has added Alana to the conversation.

Ariel I try really hard Ariel I think too hard?

Arista You're so dramatic Alana why aren't you in the play

Ariel Maybe I'm not the best person to give advice

Attina whattt what do you mean

Alana spoiler alerts u dont have to try so hard

Attina things are good with you and dash aren't you???

Alana ur all hot

Andrina this really IS taking TOO LON G THOUGH

Ariel I haven't even been kissed yet okay I'm obviously doing SOMETHING wrong

Attina thanks, alana

Alana andrina can u steal attys phone

Arista Yeah, you're waiting for him

Attina also andrina i can't text him TONIGHT it's late, he's got babies

Alana and just do it

Andrina that's a really great plan Andrina attina ignore what was just said

Attina and it's okay ariel, it'll take time!!

Ariel Yeah don't wake him he needs sleep when the babies sleep Ariel UGH but I want to kiss him already :CC

Arista Then kiss him

Attina not to be hypocritical, but, you could kiss him!!

Alana how are you supposed to shag with the kids in the next room

Arista Idk that's what I did with Van

Alana kiss him!

Attina you both like each other, right??

Andrina very quietly Andrina duh

Ariel But what if he hasn't kissed me because he doesn't want to???

Arista he's a boy

Alana thats not fun, andrina

Andrina um if you make up a game that you're spies it is

Attina maybe he's just shy

Andrina gags Andrina duct tape

Alana ball gag Alana ok i see it

Alana atty, let's go to the sex shop

Andrina NO Andrina LETS TEXT Andrina THIS

Arista Oh can I come!

Andrina BOY

Alana YES

Ariel Woah I thought she's supposed to have sex with Paul! Ariel With condoms!

Alana to both lmao Alana oh ariel

Arista I definitely need new toys

Ariel What? Ariel Oh ew!!! You're talking about like... vibrators and stuff!!!

Attina IF we have sex it will not be for a /while/ okay he's got babies im sure he doesn't want to be serious with anyone until he knows them really well

Alana mhm

Ariel I don't need these images!!!!!

Alana andrina just take her bloody phone

Andrina SHE Andrina LOCKED Andrina HER

Arista is it with the bloody tail? why is there blood?

Andrina DOOR

Attina I did. Attina HE NEEDS to SLEEP

Alana how long have you been alive ris

Andrina i'm gonna climb up your fire escape you bitch

Alana and listening to people speak

Ariel Arista there is no bloody tail okay

Attina bloody like the curse word arista, darling

Ariel Everything is fine

Arista It's different over text. Inflation and stuff

Ariel Guuuuys Andrina can steal her phone in the morning

Andrina look, if he's a sensible guy, he has the phone on silent just DO IT

Attina also andrina i think you're not listening to the whole I'LL TEXT HIM TOMORROW AT A REASONABLE TIME Attina no i need to be considerate

Ariel Be considerate!

Andrina n o

Alana inflation

Ariel He's a good Daddy!

Alana oh yes get him to be your daddy, attina

Ariel We already have a Ariel OH NO GROSS Ariel ew ew weew ewwewew !!!

Alana youre catching on, i'm so proud

Attina alana stopppp that's my future maybe person im seeing you're talking about

Ariel I did a lot of research after texting him okay

Arista Wait we're getting more siblings?

Alana yes surprise

Andrina ok so can we all just agree that you are going to text him tomorrow can you put an alarm in your phone can you promise me to do this so we n e v e r have to d o this a g a i n

Arista ohhhh you meant Daddy as like Daddy Arista gotcha

Attina yes yes you can come watch me do it if you want andrina

Ariel You guys are gross

Alana send me snapchats Alana all of us Alana the asking in action

Ariel I want screencaps! Ariel NO NUDES!!!

Alana no nudes

Attina no one is sending nudes, ariel

Ariel Good

Alana ariel's still underage

Ariel Hey!

Arista Andrina we probably are gonna do it again. There are seven of us

Attina ^^

Andrina i mean this specific first-text-to-paul situation

Alana not all of us need to be coached

Attina well hopefully there will be no need for it

Ariel Don't let your dreams be dreams!!!

Alana when sending a text to Paul

Ariel Just do it!!!

Arista yeah but some Arista idk who knows

Andrina well arista is taken so that's one down

Attina i'm sure i'll need all of you to help me choose an outfit for our date but you can come over for that

Arista yeah paul's not my type

Ariel I'm taken... I think?

Attina i'll make martinis!!!

Andrina i will happily pick out an outfit with you

Ariel Are you taken if you've only gone on one date and it ended in punch being poured on your head?

Andrina that's how my first date went totally

Attina um have you hung out since then? have you DTRed

Alana have you talked since then???

Ariel well DUH

Attina at least it's memorable??

Alana ew dont say that atty it sounds weird when old people do it

Ariel we went to school and he's visited me at rehearsal!!

Arista ^^^

Attina im not THAT OLD

Ariel also what's dtr

Arista aw he visited you

Alana define the relationship

Attina defined the relationship y'know had the "i dont want to see other people" phase

Ariel OH Ariel no we have not

Alana lmao thats when i run Alana well just ask! Alana if you wanna

Ariel but he did say he's gonna take me on a surprise date

Andrina holla

Ariel and play me a song

Attina oh see, there you go!

Andrina one of THOSE

Ariel and I asked him what I should wear and he said I should just look nice, which I always do

Alana wow

Arista You need to record the song. So I can judge

Alana ask him to play wonderwall

Ariel HIS WORDS Ariel not mine ok

Attina ooo yes secretly record the song

Andrina wow show up in sweat pants, no make up

Attina that's so SWEET

Ariel OH i LOVE wonderwall!

Andrina subvert his expectations Andrina smash the patriarchy etc etc bla bla

Arista wonderwall is so cliche

Ariel NO i have to look GOOD

Attina wonderwall is a perfectly lovely song

Ariel i'll try to record it but i also just want to be in the moment, y'know?

Andrina you can look good in sweatpants

Attina ugh yeah i guess i understand

Alana yoga pants make any ass look great

Ariel and Wonderwall is not cliche :C

Arista yeah if wanna be bored to sleep and be like every other dude with a guitar

Alana ^^

Attina i think him playing her anything is lovely and sweet and thoughtful

Arista I have high musical expectations okay

Ariel I'm going to specifically ask him to play Wonderwall now Ariel because sccrew you guys Ariel THANK YOU Attina

Alana i was 100% not serious when i said that, i need you to know, ris

Attina xoxoxo

Ariel I think I'll wear a dress

Attina wow look at us triton girls going on dates and shit

Andrina wow don't generalize us

Arista I was almost shocked Lan, thought I knew you better. I do know you better tho

Ariel Lana, would you do my makeup?

Attina OH ARIEL IDEA

Alana yessss

Attina why don't we pick out outfits on the same night!!

Ariel Omg that would be so fun!!!

Ariel and thank you Lan!!!

Ariel: 😄 😄 😄

Attina i mean obviously im getting ahead of myself paul needs to say yes first there is a like one in seven chance remember--like a leopard

Arista I think Ariel bringing her whole closet to Attina's will be kinda time consuming

Ariel I won't bring all my clothes, just some options

Attina yes but we can DRINK at my house

Andrina i'll make the drinks thats my contribution

Ariel Oooh okay!

Alana i'll bring my stuff

Ariel Then I won't be so nervous! Ariel And maybe I /will/ kiss him!

Arista you should

Alana wow

Attina you'll have to tell us all about it!!

Alana thats so pure

Ariel Just don't let me get drunk okay

Arista unless he plays wonderwall

Alana will do

Ariel Aristaaaaa

Attina especially if he plays wonderwall 😉

Ariel 😉

Alana andrina what is your verdict on wonderwall

Attina and you get cut off after a drink and a half ariel

Ariel Okay, okay!

Attina and you have to spend the night

Ariel That sounds perfect anyway

Andrina i think wonderwall in the right context is perfectly ironic

Ariel Hey question

Andrina this doesn't sound like that context

Alana good

Ariel Where the heck is Aquata???

Alana what ariel Alana idk swim camp

Ariel Is she ignoring us???

Attina probably sLEEPINg like we should all be

Ariel OH

Alana training

Ariel Did she leave for swim camp already??

Arista Oh I stole her pillow again, so she's probably angry at everyone

Ariel That makes sense

Alana idkk

Ariel Why do you keep stealing her pillows??

Arista I don't notice that I do it. I just talk to her and the pillow ends up in my room. Idk she has so many idk why she misses one

Attina she's been doing that since they were little

Ariel I think that's like called something

Andrina also why would she be angry at all of us for your crimes

Ariel ummm

Arista because it found its way into Alana's room?

Attina yeah andrina and i dont even live there pfft

Alana she's just training or something idk Alana let her live her life

Attina well that /does/ means she's sleeping bc she actually wakes up at a decent time

Attina like i've got to. i've got /work/ tomorrow

Alana lol true

Andrina noon is a perfectly decent time

Attina unlike most of us

Andrina i have work

Attina is that when i should text paul then? noon?

Andrina do i have work Andrina hey attina,,,

Ariel Hey! I'm a student!

Alana yes

Arista Hey! I work. My gigs are just at night

Ariel This is my break time!

Alana i make money by batting my eyelashes

Attina that was mostly a shot at andrina xo

Andrina seriously do i have work Andrina am i working Andrina when am i working

Attina come in at noon

Ariel Wouldn't you know if you were?

Andrina so you can text paul

Attina yes.

Andrina got it Andrina look ariel, let ME live MY life

Attina don't forget or i wont' do it

Ariel I am! Ariel I'm just SAYING

Andrina that's putting a lot of pressure on me

Ariel Although I did almost miss rehearsal the other day, so I can't blame you for not knowing...

Alana wow

Attina yup my future happiness rests in your hands, dear sister

Arista dsakj

Attina ariel! how do you miss being /juliet/

Alana dont fuck up andrina

Andrina where have i heard that before lmao

Ariel I was distracted!!!

Alana by dashy poo?

Attina omg dashy poo

Ariel ew don't call him that that's gross Ariel his name is DASH

Arista Dashy-kins

Ariel and NO Ariel not that either guysss stoooop

Arista Dashanova

Attina sidenote: what kind of name is dash? i know his brother and his name is jack jack which im assuming is just a nickname for jack but dash????

Ariel He could be like THE ONE I don't want to be thinking of him as Dashy-poo ew

Andrina what kind of name is andrina

Alana man if i ever get a boyfriend ever im gonna give him the wORst nickname

Andrina there are some questions we'lll never answer

Ariel I think his full name is Dashiell! Ariel or something

Alana like the guy who wrote the maltese falcon?

Attina oh, that makes more sense

Ariel I'm not sure though

Attina well i don't know where you pulled that name from otherwise lolol

Arista why would someone write about a dog-bird

Ariel Did I show you guys all the snowglobe he got me???

Arista wait here's a dog-bird???

Alana its edgy, ris

Arista: there's**

Andrina don't crush someone's artistic vision

Attina he got you a snowglobe!! that's so cute!!!

Ariel [sends picture of snowglobe]

Ariel It plays music!

Alana cute

Arista does it bark or screech?

Attina awww that's perfect for you ariel

Ariel It's how he asked me to prom

Alana depends on its mood

Ariel He's like, the sweetest

Alana wow

Ariel AND HE HAS SUPER SPEED

Attina ohhhhh i think i remember you telling me that now

Ariel ISN'T THAT SO COOL

Andrina super,

Attina he's a magick then?

Alana double wow

Arista Not always the best in certain situations

Alana maybe he wont freak out with the tail thing

Ariel Yeah!

Ariel Um... maybe

Attina you're NOT telling him abotu the tail thing

Arista idk that might hurt, like being with a jackhammer

Ariel But yeah and he even saved someone once with it!

Alana but attina what if theyre in loooveee

Andrina like Andrina being Andrina with Andrina a jackhammer

Attina it's too much of a risk

Alana omfg

Arista your phone is doing the thing again Andrina

Attina that's for when you're /married/ and fully committed

Alana maybe he can vibrate his body really fast

Ariel Andrina stop!

Alana and concentrate that

Andrina wow Andrina im Andrina not

Ariel I'm not going to tell him

Andrina doing Andrina anything

Arista Wow idk then weird

Attina i know, ariel. it just--stresses me out when people JOKE ABOUT IT

Alana what if someone dumps you after

Ariel I wish I didn't have a secret TO keep from him

Alana and youve already PROFESSED your love

Attina that's why i said it's for /marriage/

Alana and theyre like wow u lied Alana this whole time Alana lmao

Attina well anyone who really loves you will understand

Arista so you wanna be trapped with someone who would dump u over a tail?

Andrina i feel like it goes first date, flash tits, mermaid secret exposed

Attina it's not like it's dangerous

Alana exactly

Attina exactly, arista. it's for our SAFETY

Alana to andy not atty

Ariel Daddy thinks it is

Attina all of ours

Alana well thats why you donT MARRY SOMEONE BEFORE THEY KNOW

Ariel But what does he know? He's just an angry old man

Alana tahts why im not getting married

Attina i mean, being a mermaid is dangerous. to us. not to anyone else. Attina we're not werewolves or vampires. but if people know they'll--you know.

Andrina bang bang

Ariel When I get married, it's going to be with someone that knows and loves me and won't make anyone keep any secrets, especially not our children.

Alana i mean some people still dont like fairies and sorcerers Alana lots of people also don't like lies

Attina thank you andrina. for putting it so eloquently.

Ariel But how do you know when to tel someone? That is like... ??????

Andrina what im here for boss

Alana idk like i said not my plan Alana im just messing with everyone

Andrina same i'm gonna marry like, a shark

Attina i know, ariel, it's hard, but--well, talk to us. talk to daddy.

Ariel If you wait too long they get MAD and then if you don't wait long enough they might not Ariel NO Ariel We will NOT talk to Daddy

Andrina or an eel Andrina or a jellyfish

Alana im gonna marry an octopus

Andrina maybe an eel-jellyfish hybrid

Attina once you've been dating someone for a while, daddy will come around

Andrina wow that's a good one thing of all the tentacles

Attina he knows we cant keep it a secret forever

Alana exactly

Ariel Pfft, suuuure he will

Attina he will. i know he will. he's just trying to keep us all safe.

Ariel Whatever

Alana shouldnt you be sleeping attina Alana big day tomorrow Alana texting a boy

Andrina ^^^

Attina yes yes true

Attina good night, love you!

Ariel good night! love you too!!

Arista nighty night

Andrina night losers

Alana ^^