#we mothers stand still so our daughters can see how far they’ve come

[skysister]

my mother died when i was 16 and barbie (2023) made me cry and grieve for her in a way that has become rarer with time. being a woman is so beautiful and aging is so beautiful and there is a yawning ache inside of me that wants to be able to look at my mother as an old woman and tell her how beautiful she is, and for her to be able to look into my mirror of a face and be happy to see herself

[0lympians]

JUST WATCHED THE FUCKING BARBIE MOVIE

FUCK

[icyminghao]

barbie was… something

spoiler(?) in tags

[yilinsgarden]

“We mothers stand still so our daughters can look back to see how far they’ve come” 🌸

[bbydeers]

‘humans only have one ending,ideas live forever’

‘every night is girls night’

‘we mothers stand still,so our daughters can look back to see how far they’ve come’

[dressed2k1ll]

Did you watch the Barbie movie when it came out? What were your feelings on it, if so?

I found it was basic and disappointing, and it’s depressing that so many people seem to think it’s deep. I can understand that it was an entertaining movie and it gets props for that, but anything else is like :-| at least for me.

Thanks for having your blog up, it validates my feelings a lot abt gender and society. I lean much more into radical feminism personally

Thank you so much for the compliment and the question!!! Gosh if it weren’t for Tumblr I might go bananas! I need to know there are more out there like me!

So Barbie. First let me start by saying I’m a 43 year old woman. This movie was basically made exactly for my demographic in many ways: features many of my era of dolls and contained enough nostalgia to melt my brain.

I remember when I saw the first teaser, despite any logic or feminism I’ve grown to internalize, the teaser trailer (when she stepped out of her shoe) touched something very nostalgic and formative and pre-logical in my mind. I truly loved my Barbies, I ADORED the fashion and clothing changing (still do for myself lol), and the way that she did allow me and my childhood friend to navigate or play out or experiment with social dynamics, even though we couldn’t appreciate it in that way.

Having said that: ken also was the “object doll” of the Barbie world 😆 and so the promise of demonstrating. the banality of Ken as an inversion of what most people felt was as the banality of BARBIE became something truly new to me. It is a uniquely childhood-barbie-lover feeling.

Also for context: the last “Barbie” spinoff I knew was from the Simpsons Malibu Stacy doll episode, wherein they tried to use Lisa to critique the expectations Barbie seemed to place on girls (although sheesh - compared to social media, looks tame). It didn’t really succeed in moving the needle on trying to make Barbie a “feminist” icon.

Going in, I felt “okay, I realize they’re going to do something feminist with Barbie - it’s gonna go good, or it’s gonna go bad.”

For me? As a Barbie loving girl who grew into a feminist: it was fun, silly, very entertaining, unsubtle, and pretty basic politically.

I cried at the “what was I made for” song - I think this is a really great question every girl and woman should ask. Because 1. It brings attention to girl socialization and 2. It gives me that feeling I had when my feminism “kicked in” - like “what the fuck: I guess this was a lie”

My sense is if the movie DOES this for other women who aren’t as far along their feminist journey, holy shit: worth it.

My niece, who was 3 when she saw it, instinctively got upset when the men tried to put “the real” (she calls it) Barbie in the box. It touches something so unarticulated, so unexpressed - and it’s not sexualized, and it’s not women in captivity for men to be aroused by: it’s transcends that somehow.

And the line that Rhea Pearlman said stood out to me as important too: “We mothers stand still so our daughters can look back and see how far they’ve come” - that CHOKED me. Because my mom WAS a struggling “free spirited” feminist that burned her bra but still wound up being a trad wife for my dad.

I didn’t see anything in the movie that made me ashamed to show it to young girls, which is rare.

So TL:DR, despite its basicness, it is a rare example of a successful feminist film for young girls. And it (I dare say) rehabilitated the doll from a more “sex ideal” image. If fans understand America Ferreras speech and it strikes them as new (and there are many) it’s worth it. It’s pushing the needle forward.

A couple more points (omg can you tell this is something I think about?)

1. Compare it with the other “women is made and not born” companion movie that came out: Poor Things, which was so clearly a male centered fantasy.

2. It’s an example of showing a world where women are empowered. What other movie or show has shown this as a viable alternative to patriarchy?

Thank you again for the question!!!!!

[hyperfixationsporfavor]

I saw that your req are open and I've had this idea for awhile and no one has really done this pormpt that went across my feed or tags but what if-

Geto or Nanami, you choose (or both) watches the Barbie movie with the reader who was in awe and tears. Reader dissects the movie for them to understand and just overall lets the reader rant and analyze the movie- later on gifts them a Barbie that finally looks like them bc for so long the Reader couldn't find a barbie that felt like it was them (based on looks).

This is very self-indulgent in a way- but feel free to use this idea, thank you for reading! ^^

Hello there! I know this is super late but I've finally gotten around to writing this. I decided to use the season to turn this into a mini holiday fic. I referenced the movie but took a different angle. I hope this is okay. Thank you for sending in the ask!

Geto had come home to find you sitting on the couch with your old video camera.

“What are you doing (Name)?” Geto asked.

You looked up from what you were watching. “I found this in storage when I was pulling out some of the Christmas decorations.”

He made his way over to the couch and sat next to you. The old tape you were watching was from Christmas several years ago. 

“God, how old are the girls there?” he marveled. 

“About five, look at all the Barbie’s. Why didn’t we keep any of those? I think we gave all of them away.”

“Well to be fair (Name) by the time the girls got through with them they looked like they survived a tornado.”

He chuckled. 

“I don’t think those dolls knew what hit them when Nanako gave them ‘rides’ in the dryer.”

He expected you to laugh along with him but instead he found you glumly staring at the recording. You and the much younger twins were placing their new Barbies in their dreamhouse. Nanako sat in your lap as she set up the furniture and Mimiko leaned against you and watched. 

“(Name)?”

You shook your head and shut off the camera. “It’s so stupid. I’m getting emotional over a doll. Well, it’s not really that.”

Suguru put his arm around you and held you close. “Talk to me.”

“The girls, their teenagers now. And I’m so proud of the young women they are becoming but sometimes I miss moments like those.”

The twins were quickly developing into themselves, making friends, dating, excelling in school and hobbies. 

You knew they couldn’t stay little girls forever. And that being a mother you’d have to let go eventually. 

Even if it hurt so damn much. 

We mothers stand still, so our daughters can look back and see how far they’ve come.

~

“Okay, that’s the last of the presents,” Mimiko announced. 

The tree had been cleared of all the boxes and bags, neatly stowed away with the aid of a hefty bag. 

“Wait,” Suguru interjected. “There’s one left.”

“Where?” Nanako asked. 

Suguru reached behind the couch and pulled out a wrapped box.

“To (Name), from Santa.”

You chuckled while Nanako rolled her eyes. 

“Hardy har Dad.”

“Open it (Name),” he insisted.

So you took the package and tore off the paper. 

“What is it?” Mimiko asked. 

“Jewelry?” Nanako prodded.

You gasped, then laughed. 

“It’s a Barbie. Oh honey, you shouldn’t have.”

It wasn’t just a Barbie. It looked like you, the same nose, the same eyes, the same everything.

“It took some digging but I managed to find the perfect one.”

“It looks like Mom!” Mimiko exclaimed.

Nanako laughed. “Aw I haven’t thought of Barbie in years.”

She turned to her sister. “Remember when I used to give them ‘rides’ in the dryer?”

“I remember a perfectly good shirt being ruined,” Suguru muttered.

“I remember Mom hated it, she always used to hide it,” Mimiko recalled.

“(Name)? Is that true?”

You looked away, trying not to smile. “Sorry, I didn’t catch that. I was too busy playing with my new Barbie.”

The four of you spent the rest of the day reminiscing about the past, the wonderful life you had built. 

You always had to keep going, but there was no harm in occasionally looking back. 

[fablesandfoxes]

When Greta Gerwig said “We mothers stand still so our daughters can look back and see how far they’ve come” and when Rupi Kaur said “In a dream I saw my mother with the love of her life and no children and it was the happiest I’d ever seen her.”

[cowardstiel]

i’m following several 911 enjoyers and every piece of fanart of those guys kissing brought onto my dash looks like destiel at first glance :( ​we mothers stand still so that our daughters can look back and see how far they’ve come

[thestarstho]

The line “We mothers stand still so our daughters can look back and see how far they’ve come” hits different when you had to grow up at a young age and parent yourself.

[rholsof-film]

“We mothers stand still so our daughters can look back to see how far they’ve come”

[skswimming]

I don’t think anything has made me feel anything like the Barbie movie has.the line “We mothers stand still so our daughters can look back to see how far they’ve come”. Just really hits different bc it encapsulates the lengths mothers will go for their child even if it means being left behind. Anyway gonna go cry now 🥲

[mylittlechemicalromance]

Sorry but also not:

Rhea Perlman's line "We mothers stand still, so our daughters can look back to see how far they’ve come.” that got me. That got me good.

[leahthedreamer]

The line in Barbie “We mothers stand still so our daughters can look back and see how far they’ve come” causing so much discourse is so stupidly funny. 

Like you cannot honestly tell me you don’t understand or I fear you’re being purposely dense and comprehension and literacy is at an all time low.

[ballsmcballserson]

“We mothers stand still so our daughters can look back to us and see how far they’ve come.” -Barbie 2023

(Currently bawling my eyes out starting this)

I finished the Barbie movie today, it was so good 100000/10, with only a few tears leaving me after watching it with one of my best friends. So, like girlies, we left the theatre to get food once the final song was done.

To make conversation on the way to the restaurant, my friend and I started reminiscing about the masterpiece we had just witnessed for the past hour and a half. We had almost got through reminiscing about the entire movie until I remembered the segment of real home videos of women and their daughters.

Suddenly, all I could think was my mom. My wonderful, kind, loving, strong, beautiful, brilliant, stead-fast, humble, genius of a mother who has faced so much more pain in her life than I have.

In school, she couldn’t just get a paid ride. No, she had to work her way through university with two jobs while studying in one of the hardest subjects to learn, yet she still calls it ‘gods language’. She graduated university as the first woman who ever did in that field of study, yet I talk about it more than she does. She pursued and fought almost twice as hard as the men around her, being challenged and contradicted at every turn, but making her way through life and getting a higher pay check than some of those men could even think of. She is one of the most stressed and tired women I have ever seen, yet somehow she is also the most beautiful woman to grace this earth.

All of these thoughts rushed my head as I remembered things from my childhood while walking to food. Suddenly, I felt a sting in my nose as tears filled my eyes until I wasn’t able to hold them is. Eventually, I bubbled over, tears leaving my eyes until I could feel the salt dry on my face and could almost taste my shame when people glanced over to me like I was crazy.

The feeling of sympathizing with your mother is bittersweet. It hurt my heart so bad to think about what she has gone through and how she doesn’t even recognize it. Yet, she fills my chest with pride when I think of all she has managed and done. It’s scary to think that just a few years ago my mom was once a girl like me, probably thinking the same thoughts about her mom, crying on her way to get food, because I do the exact same.

My mom is one of the most powerful women I know, and I love her so so much. If I could describe the overwhelming pressure having her as a mom I’d say: “It is like being a small star next to a blazing sun, always going to outshine me.”

After watching this movie, I now realize that she isn’t intent of dragging my light down, but reminding me that with time and determination, I can become a women bright enough for this world. Even if I can’t reach that, I would be happy being half the star she is, because I want to be her daughter. I am her daughter.

I love my mom and, in the process, I love every single woman who has faced what she has. And I am so proud of all of them, including you.

Women are wonderful.

(I’ve stopped crying, I’m too happy now.)

[emolee]

“We mothers stand still so that our daughters can see how far they’ve come.”

God I love Barbie. I love Greta Gerwig. I love Noah Baumbach. I love writing.