#we love making things more efficient
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Also, like... I voted for make tool. If this means the mammoth hunters need help constructing a trap, I can do that. If they need something to bring back chunks of meat from the hunt, I'll make a sled. I'll work out how to build a scavenger-safe meat stash. Primarily being a tool maker does not mean I'm not engaging with the hunt, just that I know my strengths and weaknesses. Anyway, maybe we don't even have to hunt mammoth. Maybe me and the other tool makers get together and build an enclosure, and then we trap some wild goats in there? We protect them from bigger predators, and in exchange carefully cull a few? Steady supply of fresh meat, instead of the frenzied gorging ourselves on mammoth meat before the maggots get it, like we do now?
#the problem with tool makers#we love making things more efficient#I would one thousand percent get sold on farming#we'll have so much free time you guys
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I KNOW every person says this about every medium, art form, hobby, etc. ever, and always specifically about whatever time they get really really really into said hobby BUT i do genuinely think, at least from a software perspective, that we're probably on the cusp of some kind of vocal synth renaissance. the scene never died or even wavered, but with the sheer amount of new software coming out both paid and free, voicevox getting a singing update,stuff like OpenUtau making compatibility easier... i don't care for subscriptions so im only interested in their perpetual licenses but i will admit voisona's subscription model for voicebanks has a lot of benefits for those who just wanna use a voice maybe once or twice.... there are so many robots to make sing you guys. there are so many.
#im learning about diffsinger in openutau rn. the kohaku merry bank sounds SO so good like i already loved her utau#but her ds has like. this extra huskiness thats so nice. excited to see how i can play with these things!!#i feel like another new group of voices to mess around with was just plopped in my lap hkfsjhekrfas#but yeah. all we need is like a new utau-making boom and i think we'll be fully in it#make a cv utau. do it now. do it NOW#i love cv banks. people dont like em but i like their efficiency. plus there so easy to record that you can like#do all kinds of weird unique voices. i think its fun!! ive been getting really into the windows 100 utau recently#those i believe come in both cv and vcv most of the time but in general i just love how unique some of them were#kachanloid rules. and the grandma. and the wrestler. and the middle aged man#so so so awesome. make a weird utau NOW#i do wish openutau had more layout options tho. i get why its a bunch of separate windows and all#but i do hate juggling them all around like this orz i wish it was like photoshop or gimp or something#where you can pop out everything as separate windows if you want but can also have them in one window with tabs if you prefer#but even then i'd accept just having play controls on the part-editing windows. it does suck flipping between them to listen#to the thing you just pitchbended orz but i still love you openutau. especially the vocal color functionalities#its so versatile and editable i love it. now you can finally use all the appends at once easily!!!!!#so so cool i think its a bit of a game changer for open source vocal synths like this
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astarion is so fucking funny as a character because conceptually he hits all the marks of a wet cat blorbo but in practice he's unbelievably hard to stand. i'll be on the bg3 companion guide and have to start CRYING from trying to find the shit under his section that gains approval. loses -15 points for gently suggesting we not massacre an orphanage in cold blood with the d&d equivalent of a nuclear warhead
#like all things considering i am still in act 1 so i'll grant you that i might just not be at the point where people start to like him#but please for the love of god he has me on my knees to be even a little redeemable. can we do one thing that's normal just as an entrée#my tav isn't even playing a straightedge good guy is the worst part they lose wyll and gale points for being too opportunistic if anything#but they still like them more than this bucko who's been all grumpy and harrumphing at their. lack of sufficient slavekeeping ? ?#SO confusing by the way because i thought i'd spoiled myself on his backstory and context makes those checks seem borderline contradictory#he's still a hilarious freak and i still have to respect the hustle#and i'll fucking do it but christ alive.#on top of that missing a lot of his scenes contributes because my dumbass is nearly starting the creche and long rested up to now about 3x#the party'll be wailing about sleep deprivation and i check their stats see they still have points ready to go and go nahh you're good#girl THIS is what i get for creating a peak performance shortresting steamroll team of fighter warlock monk and barb#managed to become so efficient i couldn't even get my blood sucked. can't have shit on the sword coast#next playthrough that mod for displaying the number of queued camp scenes is getting locked and loaded in or so help me#baldur's gate 3#bg3 liveblog
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#was talking about sex with a friend and I came up with the perfect way to explain how I think about sex.#I was like “it's like if sex had redstone mechanics” and I think he got it but no one else I've told has understood.#anyway. I just. idk. the mechanics. the dynamics. the input versus the outcome. you can do it efficiently or you can make it fun.#there's so many ways this metaphor works. ugh. we vibe though and I'm glad I got the chance to see him again.#holding hands while lying on the shed roof talking about personal shit as the sun sets. peak vibes#literally the one person irl who really gets me when I go off about how we need more platonic intimacy.#friends were designed to cuddle on the bed and stroke each other's hair and hold hands and kiss each other. platonic intimacy you get me?#idk. I guess not everyone has a decoupled relationship with sex and romance. but like. ughhhh#why can't I just promise to love and support and die for someone without it needing to be romantic.#why can't I have the closest most intimate relationship possible with someone without it being romantic.#in this moment I would die for you but we won't speak again for three months.#why can't things just make sense like they do when the sun bleeds orange across the clouds and you rest your head in his lap
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💜
#okay so here’s the thing is that a hardware store near me is having a big sale this weekend and there’s a few things that I had been eyeing#and researching for my home that are on sale like my living room / kitchen have really tall ceilings and I’d need an extra tall ladder to#get up there to change lightbulbs check the fire alarm and paint and they have one on sale from like 160 to 120 tomorrow that seems like a#good choice and I need a random orbital sander for some projects like sanding the wood planks that we are going to use to replace my porch#and I’ve been working on sanding my kitchen table I got used to get the paint off and stain instead and similar with my coffee table and#that’s on sale from like 50 to 20 dollars plus the sanding pads are on sale a few bucks off as well#and I think there’s one or two smaller things plus I need to get groceries tomorrow and I got a coupon in the mail for free fries with a#purchase at a burger place and I was thinking of taking myself out to lunch tomorrow before I saw about the sale and started making#decisions about potentially spending a lot of money and I have anxiety spending money and I’ve been working on it but it’s still something#that I will probably struggle with somewhat for the rest of my life it’s about managing in healthy#ways instead blah blah blah but sometimes when I talk to my aunt about this she gets frustrated with me because she thinks if I need those#things and have the money I should just buy it and not cause a scene about it and I don’t want to be dramatic but it’s like a#piercing adrenaline fear of not having the money to survive or get what I need in the future and anyways this isn’t what I meant to talk#about what I meant to talk about was that I’m thinking of spending a lot of money tomorrow and technically I have the money and the stuff is#on sale at least the hardware stuff not the groceries so despite it feeling like I’m spending a lot of money at once it will be more cost#efficient to buy them tomorrow than if I waited a few months and there wasn’t a sale going on#so I should purchase them and get groceries and maybe MAYBE even take myself out to lunch as a celebration of how much effort I’ve been#putting into fixing up my home that I love so much and just getting through this period of so much change as best I can#and not have a panic attack about it because it’s going to be okay and I have the money and I have a job with money coming in and I need#those items anyway and will need to buy them at some point and they will likely be more expensive in the future so it is okay for me to#spend the money on it now and it’s not the end of the world everything is going to be okay *right*?#I don’t know I’m just talking to myself mostly#this was a way to get my thoughts out about it without being advised to just get over it#also my tummy hurts and I’m being so brave about it#sort of lol
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Sometimes we think we should open writing commissions but then we remember we actually have very little control about the length of whatever we put out and we'd likely be asked to do painfully normal things like shipfic and such and we don't know how to explain to people that no! We don't want your most palatable dreams! We want to be the vessel through which you pour your most bizarre concepts! We want to be the person you go to when you have an idea so unapproachably weird that you're afraid to pitch it to anyone else! Let us take your ideas and be the face through which you pitch something new to the world! Let us take that weird little brain worm you've had for the past decade and realize it in fuller form! Do you understand? We want you to be weirder!
#it would be more efficient to do requests with this but like. we like money#we are unemployed and mainly making cash off of babysitting rn#anyways our ideal for commissions would be to make it so clients can anonymously send us Weird Shit and have us Do That#without having to do the trials of making it themself or the mortifying ideal of being known for ur funky ideas#that said we love making things for people and giving gifts and ESPECIALLY giving unexpected and mildly fucked up gifts#which often translates to us lurking in the margins and occasionally popping up like “HEY we can do this for u”#and we do enjoy doing that#so uhh tldr we fucking love being a weirdo and we fucking LOVE creating weird shit its so much fun. give us money#we speak
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thinking about hestio/ephael and the "if we had a decent tank or healer, i wouldnt even have to talk to him" "does that mean you'll keep hanging out with me? :D" "oh, forget it". the "hey. take your arm off my head. take it off?" i love ephael being annoying to hestio without a care in the world + hestio telling him off + hestio is still always seen by his side + they're still stuck together like a set pair after 10+ years
#hestio/ephael#ill be real guys i keep yapping abt tes/hes bc hestio is just easier to write#but hestio/ephael is the OG like my shipping pilled brain was already putting them tgt in my head on my first read through#whatever dynamic i come up w for teshes is not going to be as funny as ephael actively doing shit that makes hestio tell him off#and then still sticking by his side anyway#and also the way ephael just openly goes 'so you'll spend more time with me? :D'#and also the way that you can tell that Both of them see the other as part of themselves#the whole 'if you keep being formal w us we wont be friends w you anymore' scene#hestio saying WE and speaking for ephael and ephael not objecting to that at all even tho its clearly his first time hearing abt this plan#okay !#damn i shouldve written some ephael/hestio before i started on tes/hes#its the way i had to brainwash myself into 'ok so hestio being hopelessly in love has to be a core part of his characterisation for any#of this to work'#but for ephael/hestio it's literally already right there#sniffles. i wonder how they became friends when their temperaments are so different#its also so cute how theyre so different but they share the same views on a lot of small things and important things too#peas in a pod.... but also light/dark colour scheme... waow....#the thing is that theres absolutely no central story beats that i can think of for a ephael/hestio stoty#theyre just chilling and being funny little guys#and if i bring tesilid in. wtv story im trying to tell would be much more effectively and efficiently written using a monogamous r/s#sadge.....
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Rundown of the more interesting parts from the Necrits live stream with Christian Linke (Creative Director and Co-Creator of Arcane) :
There was a longer version of the Caitvi sex scene but they got bonked by the ratings people, and because it would have raised Leagues rating to mature, it got brought down to what we got.
The entire Caitvi sex scene was directed and animated by Fortiche with zero input by Riot. Christian says, "That was French people being French."
Riot making Arcane canon didn't change where they were taking characters or the story, it just made them more aware of how it would affect other Riot projects.
Christian refused to confirm exactly when the events of Arcane take place in the existing timeline.
The Arcane doesn't originate from Hextech. It is just one - in universe - interpretation of magic.
Christian doesn't view Viktor and Jayce's love as romantic, and that romance wasn't the intention when writing their relationship. However, by the way he talks, it doesn't seem he's against people shipping them romantically - just as a creative team, they were more interested in exploring a close, complex male friendship / brotherhood.
The 250-million dollar show budget number is not accurate as marketing is included in that fund. Fortiche's goal from the beginning was to bring the level of animation found in feature animated films to serialised content. While the show was very expensive for an animated series, it was way cheaper than an animated feature film because they try and work efficiently. As an example, Christian says how often in Hollywood, it's not uncommon for sometimes 40-50% of what is animated to end up on the cutting room floor while with Fortiche they try and keep it around 5%
Ekko's hair was changed from a mohawk to dreads because the artist who worked on him told them that black hair doesn't work like that (in reference to the mohwak), and here's how it would actually work.
Legends of Runterra affected Arcane in terms of giving the team inspiration for how the everyday street life is for people in the regions.
Caitlyn's LOR Tactical design (2021) and Warwicks VGU Voicelines (2017) were made to reflect what was going to happen in Arcane - production of Arcane just took a long amount of time.
They've said from the beginning that the only person who could ever defeat Viktor at the height of his power was Viktor himself. His story is about the glorious evolution, the pursuit of that, and what it actually means to remove these human elements until there is nothing left.
All projects Riot is working on - whether the MMO, Games, Written or Animated projects - are in talks with one another at all times.
Christian comments on how very few games have remain in service as long as League has, and because of its ever growing and evolving story, it's hard to bring everything together cohesively since everything was made at different times, in different era's, by a multitude of different people. So, while many things may be very cool creatively, it makes it impossible to successfully bring it all together more often than not. So for new projects, they are more focused on making something good and successful with the team and talent they have, even if it retcons or replaces content made in the past.
Christian pitched singing Heimerdinger.
Arcane's scripts for S2 were locked in before S1 was released, so they were not impacted by fandoms or online reactions. Christian thinks maybe some animation choices were influenced by things the animators saw online, but not the story.
When watching the premier of the final arcane episodes in LA - the entire 4000 seat theatre cheered when Maddie died.
The butterfly motif shared between Jayce and Viktor specifically was used to represent transformation.
Christian talked about how they don't think about really whether people will like something or not, but whether it's the right consequence for the story (this is in discussion to Caitlyn losing an eye). What makes a character likeable to an audience in his eyes is their decisions in the story; the choices that they make.
Continuing on from this, he comments on how the choices Caitlyn makes now are so different now compared to the beginning of the show. She is now willing to take risks and sacrifice parts of herself for people, for Piltover and for what is right.
When asked about Caitlyn's signature hat, Christian says that the team saw it as somthing that didn't really fit this version of Caitlyn they were writing and the person she becomes and that's why it was never incorporated into her designs.
Back in the beginning, when they were first working on Arcane, Christian would constantly going back to Jinx and Vi's original design artists & Riot August who was their champion designer to make sure they weren't messing anything up with these characters.
Christian goes on to tell an anecdote of when Paul 'Zeronis' Kwon was drawing the first concepts for Vi. This was back when Christian was in music. She didn't have a name at the time, but when Christian looked over Paul's shoulder at the art, he comments "she kinda looks like a Violet to me." They never spoke about it, but months later, when she became a serious character concept internally, she was gifted the name Vi. To this day, Christian doesn't know if his comment resulted in her name or if it was just a coincidence, but Violet became stuck in Christian's brain as Vi's true name. Riot August (who was in chat) then confirms that her name came from her tattoo, which came from one of her key design elements, being that she had the number 6 on her face. So, just a happy coincidence.
Talking about the tattoo. The tattoo was shrunken in size so, from a distance, it would look more like a beauty mark and the brain can more easily disregard it. One of the many things that they had to think about when translating the designs over as, is animation, you would be looking at a characters face a lot more than you do in league where the camera is situated top down.
As they were wrapping up the stream, Christian talks about how there always needs to be a bit of space between what content creators / content consumers do (pointing at Necrit) and what Riot does. He thinks it's good that there is space for criticism and a critical view of the things Riot does. In order to succeed, he believes they need to listen to their audience but also that they need to have their own vision, take risks, and be bold. It's a delicate balance in his eyes, and projects tend to fail when these two sides are too in cahoots.
He iterates that they are not trying to shove anything down anyone's throats. They are just trying to find what makes these characters cool, tell their stories, and be true to the regions they come from. With taking the characters from League to Arcane, it was important that they translate these stories and characters so they can hold up with the best storytelling in the world.
This circles back to the earlier point about retconning things and replacing past stories and content. He comments on how some characters are very outdated or too archetypal, but they still have an essence that people love about them.
Arcane was something Christian worked on for 9 years, and he was getting clearly emotional near the end. He also adds they're just getting started and he wants to make sure they do a good job with this IP and the characters we really love.
To those who are not happy with certain decisions, he's sorry they didn't hit what you personally wanted, but there is simply no way they can please everybody. While they are trying to make as many of the Riot / Arcane audience happy, they as the creators and artists need to follow their own compass, be the shepherds of this IP; that being creative is hard. They will keep doing that even if they sometimes have to ruffle some feathers.
He closes the stream by confirming that they are investing quite a bit in Noxas, Ionia, and Demacia for the next regions they explore.
#had fun writing this out#made me actually watch the entire live stream and pay attention#league of legends#arcane#caitvi#jayvik#ekko arcane#warwick#caitlyn kiramman#jinx#vi#arcane vi#ekko#caitlyn#legends of runeterra#arcane jinx#arcane caitlyn
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From an anonymous freeform prompt for SVSSS Action, may I present to you... Delicious in the Abyss! A SVSSS x DunMeshi AU!
More info about the different characters (with some sketches) under the "read more" :
In Delicious in the Abyss, we follow various groups of adventurers as they explore the "abyss" a mysterious place filled with various fauna and monsters. No matter their race or age, most of them have the same goal: becoming the master of the abyss... However, some have a very different idea of how one should explore the abyss. Take for example a certain group led by an elf named Shen Yuan who desires one thing only... eat as many different monsters as possible!
Shen Yuan's party :
Shen Yuan: Elf, 87 y/o, Mage. His wish is to eat and study as many monsters as possible. He started exploring the abyss about twenty years ago, but had to stop abruptly after taking in Luo Binghe. On the surface, his studies seem to merely be for the sake of curiosity... But are they?
Luo Binghe: Tiefling, 63 y/o, Tank (and cook). Thrown into the abyss at the age of 38 (since tieflings are a long-lived race, it means he was about 14), he got stuck in the lowest levels for few years before Shen Yuan saved him. He regards him as his savior (and one true love) and would do anything for him... even if it means cooking the monsters (he hates it, he hates it so much).
Shang Qinghua: Gnome, 87 y/o, Healer. Shen Yuan's oldest friend and the author of many infamous books. He stopped writing them about twenty years ago though, after he started to explore the abyss with Shen Yuan. He seems to be looking for something in the abyss, or rather: someone.
Liu Qingge: Tallman, 26 y/o, Swordsman. One of Shen Yuan's friends. He used to be part of the Cang Qiong guild but left it after a disagreement with one of his colleagues. Now he works for Shen Yuan with his younger sister, Liu Mingyan. "Uh? My goal? Get stronger. Mh."
Liu Mingyan: Tallman, 24 y/o, Swordswoman. Liu Qingge's younger sister, she accompanies him on each of his missions. She got an offer to work with Cang Qion mountain once but refused it once she learned her brother had left the guild. She's quiet but efficient, however, Shang Qinghua suspects that she might stick around for other reasons...
Cang Qiong Guild:
Yue Qingyuan: Tallman, 48 y/o, Tank. The leader of Cang Qiong, he's a respected individual amongst adventurers. However, he seems leniant on the vices of his vice-leader: Shen Qingqiu.
Shen Qingqiu: Tallman, 40 y/o, Swordman. Vice-leader of Cang Qiong. He's the reason Cang Qiong is exclusively made of tallmen, as he has a strong distate for any other races, especially elves. The only exception to this rule is his adopted daughter: Ning Yingying, a dwarf. He's the one who abandoned Luo Binghe into the abyss after discovering his true nature.
Mu Qingfang: Tallman, 29 y/o, Healer. The group's medic.
Qi Qingqi: Tallman, 31 y/o, Swordswoman. She wanted to create a branch specifically for women in Cang Qiong Guild's but because of Shen Qingqiu's veto on recruiting other races she couldn't make it work.
Ming Fan: Tallman, 19 y/o, Mage. A cowardly young adventurer. He has a crush on Ning Yingying.
Ning Yingying: Dwarf, 51 y/o, Tank. Despite being older than him, she's Shen Qingqiu's adopted daughter whom he took in when she was merely 30 y/o. She likes her father a lot, however she can't forgive him for what he has done to Luo Binghe. (She'll leave Cang Qiong to join Shen Yuan's part at some point).
(Side note, Cang Qiong is still specialized in cultivation, hence why most of them look so young)
The Tieflings hideout:
Tieflings are a race that I made up for this AU specifically, inspired by D&D. They're inhabitant of the dungeon, tall and sturdy, with pointy ears akin to elves, horns of various shapes and tails. They can also use magic like elves, tallmen or gnomes, however their magic rely on its own set of rules.
Mobei-Jun: Tiefling, 92 y/o, King of the Northern tribe. Leader of one of the numerous tiefling tribes hidden in the abyss, he met Shang Qinghua twenty years ago in the abyss and has made him swear his loyalty to him since then. He has sensed change in the abyss since Luo Binghe's arrival, and decided to trust Shen Yuan's party to solve this issue... With the compensation of Shang Qinghua.
Sha Hualing: Half-ogre half-halfoot, 15 y/o, Princess of the Eastern tribe. Adopted daughter of the king of the eastern tribe, she's a bastard born from the forbidden union between an ogre and a half-foot and was abandoned into the abyss at birth. Of short stature, with a short life spawn, she makes up for it with her keen senses and her strength. She later on joins Shen Yuan's party.
The first Tieflings:
Tianlang-Jun: Tiefling, ??? y/o, Master of the Abyss. The master of the abyss, his powers are beyond anything imaginable. He claims to have eaten what has given him those powers and since then has known hunger beyond what any mortal could endure. He has once fell in love with a tallman woman by the name of Su Xiyan, but she has left the abyss years ago, and he doesn't know what her whereabouts are... The only thing he knows is that she's the only one capable of satisfying this hunger that eats him from the inside.
Zhuzhi-Lang: Beastman (snake), ??? y/o, Guardian of the abyss. Tasked by the Abyss' Master to protect its inhabitants, he'll kill anyone who gets in his ways indiscriminately at the exception of Shen Yuan, who saved him years ago when exploring the abyss for the first time. He only obeys the Abyss' Master orders, and because of that, has forced the Tieflings deeper and deeper into the abyss regardless of how they felt about it. As a chimera, he's more snake than the tiefling his soul has been mixed with.
Other groups:
Huan Hua's guild (the governor's guild): The one guild financed by the governor of the state in which the abyss is located. Its members are from various races. Despite the guild stating they're open to anyone, only those from a wealthy background can become a part of it.
Zhao Hua's guild: Specialized in magic. They have rounds to reanimate unlucky adventurers in the abyss.
Tian Yi's guild: Specialized in training new adventurers.
And that's it for now! What awaits them in the abyss? Many adventures and delicious cooking, that is, if Luo Binghe can handle it.
"Freed from the abyss at long last... Forced to cook the monsters with seasoning this time. I've been cursed there's no other way to explain it... Damn it, it's good though, I really am a great cook."
#svsss#scum villian self saving system#ren zha fanpai zijiu xitong#shen yuan#shen qingqiu#shen jiu#luo binghe#sha hualing#liu mingyan#liu qingge#shang qinghua#ning yingying#mobei jun#yue qingyuan#qi qingqi#mu qingfang#zhuzhi lang#tianlang-jun#myart#yeah I went above and beyond and made a whole movie poster#I was possessed#dunmeshi au#crossover
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── ୨୧ ! TIKTOK TRENDS | PART 5
SUMMARY: 4 times that Y/N and Matt made a couple's trend on tiktok.
WARNING: Kissing (?).
REQUESTED?: Yes, by anons.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: That is my work, I DON'T authorize any plagiarism, copy, or "inspiration"! | English isn't my first language, so I'm sorry if there's any grammar error.
༻✦༺ ༻✧༺ ༻✦༺
1. We listen, and we don't judge
Y/N's phone was set up, angled perfectly to capture herself and Matt sitting in front of Matt's computer desk in their room, with his arm lazily draped over Y/N’s shoulder, caressing her covered skin.
"Alright, people, welcome back. We’re doing the 'We Listen and We Don’t Judge' trend because, apparently, you guys are crazy to see us admitting some things." Y/N starts, glancing at Matt, who’s watching her through her phone screen with a small smile decorating his features. "Keyword: don’t judge, okay?" She emphasizes, holding up a finger to his face. "I know how you get."
"I’m the least judgmental person, you know." Matt counters, looking directly at her, smirking. "Ladies first."
Y/N looks at the camera dramatically, as if preparing for a confession of a lifetime.
"Okay... so... I’ve been lying about being afraid to get my driver’s license-"
Matt’s jaw drops in faux shock.
"What?!"
"Wait, wait, wait." She quickly holds up her hand. "I say I’m scared, but I’m really not. I just don’t want to drive because I love it when you drive me everywhere so I can be your passenger princess."
Matt covers his face with both hands, groaning.
"Y/N! Are you serious right now?" His voice sounds muffled by his palms.
"Yes!" She giggles. "Because I know you’ll always do it. Even if it's the middle of the night."
He shakes his head, clearly trying not to smile.
"Can't believe I have a second Chris in my life... We listen, and we don’t judge, I guess." He rolls his eyes at her playfully.
"Hey! Don't compare me to Christop-"
"Shh, it's my turn now." Matt straightens up. "Sometimes, when I’m separating our clothes for laundry..." He pauses dramatically.
Y/N narrows her eyes at him.
"What?"
"I... smell your panties to check if they’re, like, really dirty."
Her mouth falls open.
"MATT!"
"What?!" He exclaims defensively. "We listen, and we don’t judge, remember?"
"That’s not listening. That’s borderline psychotic!" She laughs, smacking his arm.
"It’s efficient!" He insists, laughing along with her. "And they always smell good, by the way."
"Okay, okay. That's what intimacy and three years living together do to you, guys." She says, sighing dramatically. "My turn again." Y/N leans forward conspiratorially, her voice dropping to a whisper. "Sometimes, especially during the winter, when there are dirty dishes in the sink, I pretend not to see them, so you’ll wash them."
Matt throws his head back in exaggerated disbelief.
"Are you kidding me?! You make me wash dishes all the time purposefully, then?"
"We listen, and we don’t judge!" She says quickly, pointing at him.
"Y/N, I knew it! I’d be like, 'How did she miss that giant pile of plates?', because I know that Chris doesn't wash his for anything in this world and Nick is cleaner than that."
"It’s selective blindness." She admits, shrugging innocently. "And don't call me dirty, asshole!"
"Unreal." He mutters, but his smile lets it be known that he isn't mad. "Okay, my turn. Remember when I went to Boston by plane alone last month, and I decided last minute I wanted you to come with me?"
Y/N nods.
"Yeah, and you surprised me with a plane ticket. It was so sweet."
"Well, the tickets were super expensive exactly because it was last minute, like a thousand dollars more than when I bought mine." Matt starts, scratching the back of his neck. "But I bought it anyway because I didn’t want us to be on separate planes. If the plane crashed, I wanted us to die together."
Y/N stares at him in shock.
"MATT. WHAT THE-"
"We listen, and we don’t judge!" He defends himself, holding up his hands.
"That is so sweet and so morbid at the same time!" She exclaims.
Matt shrugs.
"It made sense to me at the time."
Y/N takes a deep breath, clearly trying not to laugh too hard.
"Can't believe you spent more than a thousand dollars on a plane ticket to Boston." She shook her head in disbelief.
"Can't blame me for wanting to have my girl back home with me." He muttered, smiling shyly at her.
She pouts, looking at the camera with a 'Are you seeing this cuteness?' look.
"You're really sweet, you know that?" She takes his hand closer to hers, taking it to her mouth and sealing his skin with her lips. "Alright. Here’s another one. I always let you serve me my plate when I cook any meal because I know you’ll put more food on mine than yours."
Matt raises an eyebrow.
"And you call me psychotic?"
"You’re predictable!" She shoots back, grinning. "And the more food, the better."
He chuckles.
"Fine. We listen, and we don’t judge. My turn again. When I go to take a shower and say I forgot to grab my towel..."
Y/N immediately narrows her eyes.
"Oh no. What now?"
"I didn’t actually forget it. I’m just too lazy to grab it myself, so I call you to bring it to me."
"Matthew!" She exclaims, smacking his arm again.
He laughs, unbothered.
"Hey, you bring it every time, so I figured it wasn’t a big deal."
She rolls her eyes, trying not to laugh.
"Of course I do! I don't want you to drip all over our bedroom." Her voice gets high-pitched. "Unbelievable." Y/N takes a deep breath while looking at her phone camera. "Okay, last one from me. When you go record videos with Nick and Chris out of the house, I play Fortnite on your computer."
Matt’s eyes widen.
"No way!"
"Yes way!"
"On my account?"
"Yup!"
Matt gasps, scandalized.
"You’re out here ruining my stats?"
"No! I’m good, I promise!"
He narrows his eyes at her, clearly skeptical but amused.
"Chat, she's lucky she's cute."
Y/N grins and leans against him, softly caressing his hand with her fingers.
"Your turn to end it, babe."
Matt thinks for a moment, then grins.
"Alright. Final confession. One time, you needed my help to open this sweet jar I had just bought. It was one of those really stubborn, super-sealed ones, and you couldn’t get it open no matter how hard you tried."
"So...?" Y/N pulls away from him, frowning in confusion.
"The thing is, when I got it open, you looked at me in this way that... let’s just say I felt very appreciative of my strength." He wetted his lips, trying to hide his smile.
"Matt!" She exclaimed, searching his eyes with wide ones, feeling the heat rise to her cheeks.
"Wait, wait, it gets better!" He said, waving her off. "So later, I went back to that sweet jar and tightened it as hard as I possibly could just so you'd have to ask me for help again."
Y/N mouth open in disbelief.
"You did not."
"Oh, I absolutely did." He said proudly, his grin stretching from ear to ear. "And it worked! Next day, you were struggling with it again, and there I was, showing up to save your day."
Y/N swatted his arm, though she couldn’t help but laugh.
"You’re the worst! I can’t believe you manipulated me with a sweet jar."
"It’s called strategy, babe." He said, dodging her playful hits. "And you totally fell for it."
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2. A boy who's jacked and kind
The soft hum of Sabrina's song filled the room as Y/N set her phone up on the dresser, already recording, before standing in front of Matt, a sweet smile tugging at her lips as she looked into the front camera. Her hands rested loosely at her sides, and her bright expression mirrored the expectation to finally do the TikTok trend.
Behind her, Matt stood tall, his brown hair slightly messy decorating his straight face. His posture was casual, hands resting on his hips, as he waited for the right moment.
As the verse "A boy who’s jacked and kind” began to play, Matt immediately lowered himself behind her, bending slightly to grab Y/N by her thighs. The motion was swift but careful, his hands wrapping securely around her legs just above her knees. Without breaking a sweat, he hoisted her into the air, lifting her as though she weighed nothing.
Y/N let out a loud, surprised laugh, but it didn’t break her radiant smile to the phone. She reached down instinctively to hold onto his shoulder, her fingers brushing the collar of his pink shirt for stability.
Matt straightened up, effortlessly placing her on his right shoulder. His grip on her thighs was firm yet gentle, ensuring she wouldn’t lose her balance. With Y/N sitting comfortably on him, Matt turned his attention back to the front camera.
Grinning brightly, he flexed his left bicep exaggeratedly, his arm bulging just enough to make the flex appear, a contrast to his lean frame.
The two of them looked like they were in Disneyland, their expressions full of joy. Matt’s smile stretched wide, his boyish expression evident as he proudly held Y/N on his shoulder. Meanwhile, Y/N’s laughter was silent as she leaned forward slightly, her cheeks flushing with amusement.
When posted, Y/N made sure to put the caption as: those push-ups are really getting him somewhere.
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3. Being rude to my triplet's girlfriend to see his reaction
The phone was already recording when the Crumbl Cookies were neatly arranged on the wooden table. The pastel pink box was opened, revealing an assortment of cookies that looked almost too pretty to eat. Y/N sat between Matt and Chris, her eyes wide with excitement as she leaned closer to it. Nick stood opposite them, fiddling with his phone to adjust the camera angle.
"This is so cute." Y/N said, her voice bubbling with enthusiasm. "I can’t believe I’m finally doing a Crumbl Cookie review with you guys!"
Matt smiled at her, his hand naturally finding its place on her knee beneath the table.
"You'll love the lemon one." He said, his tone warm and encouraging.
Chris and Nick exchanged a quick glance, their smirks barely concealed. They had planned this little prank earlier that morning, where they would pretend to be rude to Matt's girlfriend just to see his reaction. Y/N was in on it, of course, and she’d been surprisingly eager to play along.
"Alright, let’s get this over with." Nick said, his tone sharp as he rolled his eyes dramatically, sitting by Chris's side. "Can we just start? I don’t want to sit here all day."
Y/N blinked, her smile faltering just slightly.
"Oh, um, okay..." She said softly, glancing at Matt, who immediately noticed the change in her tone.
"What’s the rush?" Matt asked, narrowing his eyes at Nick.
"Yeah, Nick." Chris chimed in, turning slightly so he could look into Nick's eyes. "Not like this is going to be a life-changing experience or anything. It’s just cookies."
Y/N bit the inside of her cheek to keep from laughing, her hand fidgeting with her napkin.
"I mean, I’m just really excited." She said, her voice quieter now, playing her part. "I've seen you guys do this when you went back to Boston, and I really wanted to do it too."
Matt’s jaw tensed as he looked between his brothers.
"What the fuck is wrong with you two? You both like some of those."
Nick scoffed, picking up a cookie and taking a careless bite.
"Honestly, I don’t get the hype. They’re just cookies. We've tried all of it with Nate already. You don’t have to act like it’s a five-star restaurant or something."
Chris snorted, grabbing his own cookie and making a point to ignore Y/N entirely.
"Yeah, and she hasn’t even tried them yet. Bet she’s gonna overreact or something."
Matt’s hand left Y/N’s knee as he sat up straighter, his protective instincts kicking in.
"What the fuck are you guys on about?" He snapped, his voice sharper now. "Why are you being such assholes?"
Y/N pretended to shrink in her seat, her lips pressing together as if she were holding back tears. Matt noticed immediately and turned his full attention to her.
"Babe, hey." He said softly while his hands found hers, squeezing her fingers, his voice and act a stark contrast to the anger he’d just directed at his brothers. "Don’t listen to them, okay? They’re just being idiots. We can eat all of it if you want to."
Y/N nodded, her eyes wide as she tried to maintain her act.
"I just... I was really excited, but maybe it’s not a big deal. We can do another-"
"No, it is a big deal." Matt said firmly, his gaze flicking back to Nick and Chris with a glare that could melt ice. "What are you two on about? She’s excited about this, and you’re just shitting on it for no reason."
Chris held up his hands in mock surrender.
"Alright, chill, Matt. It’s not that serious."
Matt’s eyes narrowed, his voice rising.
"Not that serious? Are you fucking kidding me? You’re being rude as hell to my girlfriend. How is that not serious?"
Nick laughed nervously, clearly trying to stay in character but faltering under Matt’s hard stare.
"We’re just saying it’s not a big deal. No need to get all worked up."
Matt scoffed, shaking his head in disbelief.
"You’re unbelievable. Seriously, what’s wrong with you? Do you not know how to treat people with respect?"
Y/N placed a gentle hand on Matt’s arm, trying to calm him down.
"Matt, it’s okay..."
"No, it’s not okay." He said, his voice softening as he looked at her but still laced with frustration. "You don’t deserve to be treated like this, especially not by them." He pointed at his brothers with disdain. "You two can get out of here if it's so hard to eat cookies, and-"
Chris finally cracked, unable to hold back his laughter any longer, interrupting the middle triplet.
"Okay, okay, stop. Matt, it’s a joke!"
Nick followed suit, laughing as he raised his hands defensively.
"Yeah, it’s a TikTok trend! We were just messing with you to see how you’d react."
Matt froze, his brows furrowing as he processed their words.
"A trend?"
Y/N bit her lip, finally breaking character as she let out a soft laugh.
"Yeah... I knew about it. I’m sorry, babe, but we wanted to see how you’d feel in this situation."
Matt’s expression shifted from anger to disbelief as he leaned back in his chair.
"You’re kidding me."
Chris grinned, still laughing.
"Dude, you were ready to kill us. You’re such a good boyfriend. It’s actually insane."
"You guys are fucking idiots." Matt ran a hand through his hair, shaking his head with a mix of exasperation and amusement. "I'm going to bed. C'mon, Y/N."
༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺
4. Rating kisses
The warm glow of fairy lights lit up the cozy bedroom as Y/N adjusted her phone on her right hand, Matt's fingers brushing against her thigh as she settled by his side on the edge of the bed.
"So." Y/N began. "This filter gives us ten different types of kisses, and we have to rate each one of them."
Matr tilted her head, smirking.
"And this is your excuse to receive ten kisses from me in one sitting?"
Y/N gasped dramatically, her hand flying to her chest.
"Excuse me? This is for science! We are conducting a very serious experiment here."
Matt rolled his eyes but couldn’t hide his smile.
"Fine. Let’s see how you do, Ms. Science."
She hit the screen, and the filter started spinning before landing on the first kiss: Cheek Kiss.
Matt leaned closer, cupping her face with one hand as he pressed a soft, warm kiss to her cheek, lingering just long enough to make her blush. He pulled back, a smug look on his face.
"Well?" He prompted, his eyebrows wiggling jokingly.
"Hmm... I’ll give it a 2." She shrugged, biting back a grin when seeing his reaction to her saying. "It was nice, but we’ve got nine more to go. Gotta leave room for improvement."
Matt muttered something under his breath about "ungrateful test subjects", but the filter moved on to the next kiss: Neck Kiss.
Y/N’s lips curved into a large grin, and her cheeks turned pink.
"Don’t make this weird, Matthew."
"Oh, I would never." He said, his voice dripping with mock innocence.
He scooted closer, gently brushing her hair aside. His lips brushed against the curve of her neck, soft and slow, sending a shiver down her spine. She let out an involuntary squeak, his warm breath tickling her skin, and Matt pulled back with a satisfied smile.
"Okay." She said, trying to compose herself. "That’s a 3."
"Damn right it is." He said, leaning back triumphantly.
The next kiss popped up: Forehead Kiss.
Matt’s expression softened immediately. He reached out, cupping her face with both hands, bending her head before leaning in to press a tender kiss to her forehead. It wasn’t rushed or playful, just sweet and sincere, filled with affection.
Y/N closed her eyes for a moment, her heart melting at the gesture. When she opened them, her voice was soft.
"That’s a 4. I really love this one."
Matt smiled, his thumb brushing over her cheek.
"I do, too."
The fourth kiss was Spiderman Kiss.
Matt immediately leaned back, his head hanging on the air above the mattress, almost bending his whole spine with his hair falling around.
"Alright, let’s do this." He said, his voice muffled by his awkward position.
Y/N laughed, leaning over him and pressing an upside-down kiss to his lips, the angle making it clumsy but undeniably sweet.
They pulled apart, both laughing.
"Okay, that’s a 7." Y/N said, still giggling. "Cute, but kind of impractical."
"Agreed." Matt said, sitting back up and rubbing his aching neck.
The next kiss was Nose Kiss.
Y/N laughed softly as Matt leaned in again, rubbing their noses together in an exaggerated Eskimo kiss before pecking the tip of her nose lightly.
"You're adorable." She looked into his eyes for a second. "I’ll give it a 5."
Then came the Bite Kiss.
Matt’s grin turned mischievous.
"Now this one, I'm the best at."
"Don’t be too hard!" Y/N warned, but her voice wavered slightly. "You left a bruise on my shoulder the last time you decided that biting me was a good idea."
He ignored her comment and lifted her arm, his teeth closing around the exposed skin. He pulled back with a boyish grin not even a second later, his eyes twinkling with amusement.
"It's romantic. You have to accept that." Matt rolled his eyes playfully, kissing quickly the spot he had just bitten.
"Shut up. Now, that’s a 9 just because I'm sure there's worse than that."
"Hey! There are no bad kisses around here." Matt's voice got high-pitched.
The next was Air Kiss. They both leaned back, dramatically blowing kisses at each other with exaggerated sound effects.
"That’s an 8." Y/N declared.
"Okay." Matt nodded.
The next kiss, Hand Kiss, took a more romantic turn. Matt gently took her hand in his, his thumb brushing over her knuckles before he lifted it to his lips. His kiss was slow and deliberate, his eyes locking with hers as he pulled away.
Y/N’s heart fluttered.
"Okay, kind sir, that’s a 6. Sweet, but it doesn’t beat the others."
Matt pouted.
"Tough crowd."
When Foot Kiss appeared, Y/N recoiled.
"No way. Absolutely not."
"Come on, we’ve committed this far!" Matt argued, leaning down and grabbing her bare foot before she could escape. He pressed a quick kiss to the top of it, grinning as she dissolved into laughter, kicking against his hands lightly, causing the phone to tremble.
"That’s a 10." She said through her giggles, trying to breathe in while sitting up again.
"Fair." He admitted, wiping his lips jokingly.
Finally, the last kiss appeared: Lip Kiss.
Matt’s teasing demeanor softened as he leaned in, his hand cupping her jaw and his thumb caressing her cheek. His lips met hers in a slow, lingering kiss that made the rest of the world fade away. It was gentle but filled with so much love that Y/N felt her heart swell in her chest.
When he pulled back, she looked at him with a dazed smile.
"That’s a 1. Obviously."
Matt grinned, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear.
"How does it feel to scientifically prove I’m the best kisser ever?"
Y/N laughed, rolling her eyes to her phone camera.
"Don’t let it go to your head, King of Kisses."
"Too late." Matt said, pressing another kiss to the side of her head.
#chris sturniolo#sturniolo x reader#matt sturniolo#sturniolo triplets#nick sturniolo#matt sturniolo x reader#matt sturniolo fluff#matt sturniolo imagine#matt stuniolo fanfic#matt sturniolo x yn#matt sturniolo x reader smut#matt x reader#matt sturniolo x y/n#matt sturniolo x you#matthew bernard sturniolo#matthew sturniolo x reader#matthew sturniolo#tiktok trends#matt sturniolo tiktok#matt sturniolo x reader fanfic#matt sturniolo x reader fluff#matt sturniolo x reader tiktok#fluff#sturniolo triplets x reader#chris sturniolo x bff reader#nick sturniolo x bff reader
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Imagine max x driver!reader with the whole fia and swearing situation they’d be such a power couple. Manifesting more max fics!! I love all your work esp little bitch and honorary wag💓
okay this is teeeny tiny piece but i just had tooo. max is too iconic
You're sitting beside Max, your boyfriend and teammate, in the press conference room after the qualifying session in Singapore. The air feels thick with humidity and tension, though most of the tension is radiating off Max.
His latest penalty from the FIA—a fine and community service for swearing —has him fuming. He made it very clear on the way in that he wasn’t going to play nice. Today was going to be a day of vague, shady responses, and you were more than happy to back him up.
The moderator starts with the usual question for Max about how he felt securing P2.
“It was fine,” Max replies, voice completely flat. No elaboration, no typical analysis. Just that.
The reporter stares at him, clearly expecting more, but Max leans back in his chair, eyes narrowing slightly as if daring anyone to push him further.
To your right, Lando is barely holding it together, his mouth twitching as he watches the whole scene unfold. You catch his eye and he shoots you a look like, Is this real?
The next question is directed at you. Something predictable about how you’re feeling being P3, your thoughts on tomorrow’s race strategy.
“Well,” you start, raising an eyebrow, “I guess the plan is… to go fast and not crash.”
There’s an awkward silence in the room, the journalist blinking at you as if he didn’t hear you correctly. Lando makes a noise that’s somewhere between a laugh and a cough, struggling to contain himself as you sit there, completely straight-faced.
“And the tire strategy?” the moderator presses, trying to steer things back into something vaguely professional.
“Use them until they wear out, I suppose.” You lean back in your chair, mimicking Max’s posture, crossing your legs casually as if you’ve just given a perfectly reasonable answer. Max looks at you with a cocky and proud smile, you discretely wink at him.
"Max, can you elaborate on your car's performance today?" another reporter tries.
Max tilts his head, considering for a moment. "It went forward when I pushed the pedal, and stopped when I hit the brakes. Very efficient, really."
You can't help but smirk at his response, and you notice Lando has given up on maintaining composure, his shoulders shaking with silent laughter.
The moderator, looking increasingly uncomfortable, turns to you again. "YN, how do you feel about potentially challenging your teammate for position tomorrow?"
You lean forward, adopting a serious expression. "Well, I've been told it's important to keep things clean on track. Wouldn't want to use any… inappropriate maneuvers."
"Absolutely. We're all about clean racing now. Very family-friendly." Max adds
The reporters exchange glances, clearly unsure how to handle this united front of sarcasm and vague responses. Lando, meanwhile, has resorted to covering his face with his hands, his shoulders visibly shaking with suppressed laughter.
As the press conference draws to a close, you and Max stand up together, your body language mirroring each other's. Before leaving, you turn to the room with a final statement:
"Just want to thank everyone for their thoughtful questions today. This has been a very enlightening experience. Almost as enlightening as some recent FIA decisions."
As you exit the room, hand in hand with Max, you can hear the burst of chatter from the journalists behind you, no doubt trying to decipher the subtext of your responses. Lando catches up with you in the hallway, finally letting out the laugh he's been holding in.
"You two are unbelievable," he wheezes, wiping tears from his eyes. "I thought I was going to lose it in there!"
Max grins, his earlier tension now replaced with a sense of satisfaction. "Well, we aim to entertain," he says, giving your hand a squeeze.
#max verstappen x reader#max verstappen fanfiction#max verstappen imagine#max verstappen story#max verstappen fluff#max verstappen fic#mv1 x reader#f1 x reader#f1 fanfiction#formula 1 x reader#formula 1 fanfiction#max verstappen#f1 grid x reader#harrysfolklore#max verstappen smut#mv1 fic#max verstappen x you#formula 1 imagine#max verstappen smau#f1 smau
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Listen I love the ‘dicks being ostracized from his family and self destructs’ trope in fics however
I would like an inverse just once (I could write it but I want this fic to be good so I can enjoy it and I am not the greatest writer) where everyone blows up at him and flat out lays into him and he just goes… okay… if that’s how you feel?
Takes himself off of the patrol routes and rosters. He’s off the emergency calls and his ‘call for city wide emergency’ has been down graded to ‘call for world wide emergency’ he’s no longer on comms with oracle
He stops offering assistance to the other kids teams, doesn’t send info for investigation and doesn’t go within 100feet of Gotham.
Takes himself off the den-mother, baby sitter, trainer for all the younger teams lost that involve any and all bats
In the beginning he vacates his apartment and temporarily moves in with Donna in New York and things are good because of course they are. They’re Dick and Donna a world doesn’t exist where they aren’t okay.
And then his presence in New York leads to a lot of the og core five titans interacting and they realize that they miss each other like hell and start to work together more and more. Until news sites are like ‘teen titans grown up??’ ‘Original titans spotted doing hurricane aid in Florida!’
Because Dick loves his family but he knows when to bow out. And he chose the family he made in the new teen titans.
And then one day one of the bats track him down in nyc and breaks into what is now Dick and Donna’s apartment and are ready to argue that they need him back and need him there for a huge Gotham wide event.
And Dick says ‘sure okay let me get my stuff and we leave in half and hour’ as soon as the first sentence is out
No convincing or begging or asking for money (cough Jason cough)
Dick is patched into their comms and he’s working efficiently except he’s not… acting like himself.
He’s collaborating with whoever they tell him too, no problem, he’s discussing ideal plans and co-ops and teams and how to best get it under control.
But he’s talking to them the way he talks when he’s offering aid to teams he’s not a part of.
Like the hero version of an acquaintance and no one can call him out on it because he’s doing good work. Work that’s on par with his work before this whole fiasco. He explicitly isn’t letting their personal issues affect his work.
He’s speaking but not talking
And Bruce remembers this… he’s probably the only one who does because last time he was the only one included. The last time Dick acted like this is when he first visited Jason and him after he had been fired.
Whenever Bruce was in the room and Dick was forced to speak with him, the conversation never strayed past business casual especially around Jason.
Batman and Nightwing got into screaming matches
Bruce and Dick were strangers
And now they’re back to this, 7 kids later, a million ends of the world stopped, they’ve bled together, cried together and clung to each other in pure relief after they managed to clutch victory.
And Nightwing was treating Batman Inc like a new team stepping onto the scene.
Once they’ve secured everything and managed to keep Bruce from self destructing and making it worse. Dick just leaves and tells oracle that he’ll send over his debrief in 3-5 business days and it was nice working with them.
And then he’s gone
No cave, no manor, no Alfred, no med-bay because Dick doesn’t stay places he’s not welcome.
And after they all talk about that and how weird it was and Bruce reveals Dick did this before when he was Nightwing after Bruce fired, where Dick Grayson didn’t know Bruce Wayne.
And one of the kids asks when he broke and stopped the act and Bruce just says ‘the day he found out Jason died’
And the Batkids kinda freak bc what do you mean?? What is he only going to come back when someone dies? Thats not? There has to be another way?? And Bruce is like yeah no idea sorry (bc he’s helpful like that)
So then Steph the next day resolves to go visit him, Tim isn’t the only professional stalker. And she finds Dick and Donna’s apartment and well it’s daylight and she’s in civvies she’s if she climbs in through the window she might get reported to the NYPD and she doesn’t wanna get arrested or shot to door it is!
And so she goes and knocks and Dick opens the door and just lights up
Something something this is such a nice surprise something something it’s so good to see you.
Dick had taught Donna how to make some of his mother recipes when they were kids. So now whenever they’re together for a long time they cook together.
So Dick who is usually living in a cluttered apartment with no clean dishes and an exclusively grab and go food is now trying to force feed her some of his cooking.
Because he picked up the habit again since he’s the better cook between him and Donna.
And it’s delicious and he wants to catch up and hear everything that’s going on in her life, is she working with new people, dating anyone? How is her relationship with her mother etc etc.
It’s a nice day and she stays late and never confronts him on anything until she sees how long ago the sun set and she needs to get moving.
He hands her paper with his number and makes her promise not to give it to the others or she will lose access to it, he offers to help her on a conditional basis as nightwing but only her, she can call him about the rest if it’s an end of the world or they’re near death and need immediate aid.
And that’s like the fic because the key to winning nightwings assistance is like breathing (optional) but if you’re Dicks family you have to care or else. He’ll love you and help you, when you need it but he won’t tie his life up with yours, he’ll spend his time with people who value his opinion and the person behind the mask.
Anyway cue all the Batkids trying to do what Steph did and fail because they’re neurotic shits who think bonding involves doing casework together or a steak out.
(The next person to crack it is Damian, completely unintentionally he has a fight with Bruce and can’t ask him how the fuck he’s supposed to solve this equation in the new stupid way they’re teaching him no he can’t use the old method they’re supposed to show their work so he pulls up to Dick and Donna’s in a ratty ass hoodie like plz wtf do you mean you work top down explain Grayson- and dicks like awww no problem kid)
#dick grayson#batfam#AU#nightwing#batman#comics#bruce wayne#jason todd#tim drake#batfamily#damian wayne#the titans are family your honor#Dick Grayson and Donna Troy#they’re the besties#corporate wants to you point out the difference between these two photos#and it’s Donna Troy and Dick Grayson#it’s the same photo#titans
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NO WAYYYY HOW DID I MISS THIS
AOUHGOGUH VIO I LOVE THIS SO MUCH!!!!!!! im so excited about this you have no idea!!!
i hope you don't mind but I MADE FANART
Got inspired by @macchitea 's Rain Land au (Who designed the Meta Knight and Kirby slugcats) and decided to design Susie as an iterator for fun.
I would imagine she is made to research further advancements in their technology and more study focused than the other iterators. Think of her as a very tone down Glados, though like her she wouldn't mind a few sacrifices.
Feel free to interpenetrate whatever is happening in the comic, it was made all in good fun.
Again the Meta and Kirby slugcats and rain-land au were made by macchitea! :)
#rainland au#HOLDS YOU#PLANET ROBOBOT ARC PSPSPSPS#i actually wrote down Things for a potential planet robobot arc for the au aND THEN I SAW THIS POST AND I AKSDJFHDF <333333#susie being a toned down glados is GOD TIER#we know some iterators have messenger scugs but do we ever rlly know where they come from#might be more efficient to yoink a fully grown; experienced scug than to grow your own yknow yknow >:)#aaaa i love this the potential with iterator susie is chefs kiss#hEY WAIT DOES THAT MAKE HALTMANN AN ANCIENT#perhaps he was a very high ranking/reverred member of susie's colony even aslfkjsdfh#vio you are Doing Things to my brain right now#macchiart
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I love the idea of a timeloop but the whole story is told from the pov of the person not stuck in it. suddenly this random person they've never met before comes up to them and demands the craziest thing, seems to know them more intimately than anyone, appears to not have slept in months, and has the most peculiarly haunted look about them like they've faced death a hundred times over. bros go on an adventure. how does our protagonist respond to every sentence finished for them? to every wistful look their new companion casts their way? What about the mindless efficiency with which they avoid hidden dangers? Imagine the quiet atmosphere when the looper makes the protagonist's coffee exactly the way they like, without needing to be asked, and the protagonist finally gets it--"we've been here before, haven't we?" how often do they cry?
there's also huge comedic potential. oh? random guy you've never met runs up and kisses you on the mouth? the two of you embark on the weirdest conceivable journey to complete a litany of unthinkable tasks? you make it home in time for dinner and they somehow know your grandmother's secret meatloaf recipe by heart? you wake up the next morning to find the stranger (are they really a stranger anymore?) making you waffles in your kitchen?? the coffee is exactly how you like it????
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before you read ▪︎ loose continuation to THIS
ultra loser!ellie x teasing(slightly sadistic tbh)!reader. reads fine as a standalone!! no fr sex, but still nsfw!!! loads of teasing, ellie's shy and flustered (also gave her glasses and piercings muahahah AND HAPPY TRAIL MENTION YAYYY), reader's a little insistent (but it's ok), mentions of masturbation, discussion of sex, REALLY horny making out at the end lol, heavy petting, they almost do it, tiny abby cameo, buildup AS PER USUAL YALL KNOW THE DRILL, kinda cliffhanger ending (its on purpose HAHA), different layout bc i cheated n looked at the poll oops...NGL TS HAD ME SWEATINGGG WRITING IT LMFAO don't think i have ever written something more horny....ok enjoy! + 2.2k wc
apparently both of you missed the professor's class cancellation email on this fateful day… other students showed up too, but they left quickly after seeing it was empty. ellie stayed to catch up on some work, enjoying the silence and typing away on her laptop, which looked like one of those beefy gaming computers.
covered in stickers and the keys changing color, you thought it was interesting she'd lug that thing around campus with her, instead of opting for something light and sleek. and now that leaves you. you had no other plans for the day, and had already mentally prepared yourself for this class, totally unaware it was canceled.
you realized it wasn't a bad idea to copy ellie, and catch up on some of your own work. however you were more intrigued by her, to be totally honest with yourself.
watching her from a distance, she captivated you. she never seemed to notice your stares, too absorbed in her thoughts. you watched her type, efficiently and quickly, pausing only to push her glasses further up her nose with her slim fingers.
the truth is, she's hot. but no one was hearing you out on that, unfortunately. they'd say to you, “what a loser! i don't think i've ever heard her talk.”
you felt overwhelmed by the urge to strike up a real conversation with her—more that simple greetings or coursework questions— and it was the perfect opportunity to do just that. so you got up, sat yourself down in the empty spot right next to her, and put on the most charming grin you could muster up. she abruptly snapped out of her focus, almost flinching at your presence.
“hey! you're ellie, right? whatcha working on?” you got close to her to see, being met with a bunch of hieroglyphic-looking strings of symbols on the screen. woah, smarty-pants. “um, it's just…some project, i dunno. how d’you know my name?”
she finally looked at you, her eyes round, wider than the ufo saucer stickers on the back of her computer. they were so green, the hazel ring reminded you of a polished agate stone. the scattered freckles on her face were so pretty too, you'd never been close enough to her to really take notice. she nervously scanned your features, blotches of pink blush decorating the apples of her plump cheeks.
she was so cute, and noticing her evident shyness flipped a switch inside you, what if you messed with her a little?
you shrugged at her, “just seen you around. you're so mysterious.” you lilt, manipulating your tone to make it smoother on the ears, even containing hints of seduction if you dared.
she blushed a deeper raspberry shade and looked down at her hands, fidgeting with her rings. she was somehow getting more attractive by the second, your heart felt like it was about to burst.
“am i? never thought of it that way, you're funny.” she mumbles, her antsiness obvious. but you didn't wish to let up so soon, you were having a lot more fun flustering her than you'd ever care to admit, even wanting to see just how far you could push her.
“ooh, i love your rings. where did you get em?” “just…places. why are you asking me so many questions?” you sighed and rolled your eyes, “well, ellie. we both don't have anything else to do, gotta pass the time somehow. i wanna talk with you, is that okay?” she took a deep breath and nodded, visibly relaxing. she stretched out her arm to get rid of the tabs on her computer, close it, and put it in her bag, which is when you got a look at her forearm tattoo.
“also i'm obsessed with your tattoo, you have no idea how cool you are, how are girls not all over you?” you question, taking her wrist in your hands and examining the tattoo's intricate line work, tracing your fingertips over the pigment in her skin.
you heard her breathing change in tempo, quickening ever so slightly. but she didn't move her arm away, and let you continue. she took a second to respond. “um. thanks, i guess. i don't really know what you mean.” her voice cracked when she said the last part, igniting a flame inside you, one that you didn't know existed.
your mind wandered, you began wondering what she sounds like when she whimpers. was she really so starved of human contact you could mold her like putty, just with your fingers and tongue? you wanted to find out so badly, wanted to hear how she'd cry your name out if you fucked her into oblivion. was she a squirter or a creamer? you hoped to the heavens above you'd get to find out someday. maybe it was too much to fantasize like this, considering you formally met just now, but you weren't hurting anyone if it all never left the confines of your mind.
you were lucky you hid your own arousal well, nothing out of the ordinary showed on your face whatsoever. ellie wasn't so lucky—to her dismay, but to your delight—everything played out on her delicate features so clearly, it was nothing short of delectable.
your eyes bore into hers, the intensity of the eye contact making her shiver, and attempt to break it. “ellie, ellie, ellie, may i call you els?” you didn't wait for an answer, and continued, “do you have a girlfriend?” you pouted your lips at her, feigning sadness as if her response was something you didn't already infer.
she was stuttering now, stumbling over her words, making less and less sense as the conversation went on. she was anxiously bouncing her leg, you could see her chest rising and falling, and her face had turned a lovely crimson color, it was so strong, the flush had spread down her neck and reached her ears, making her piercings stand out. good lord.
“ahem- no, i don't have a girlfriend. actually never have, shocking i know.” she chuckles at her self-deprecating joke, and while her smile was enough to light up a room, you wanted to slap the doubt out of her. or rather, fuck it out of her.
you exhaled loudly, “hahh, well isn't that a shame. you're so pretty, i'll just have to snatch you up for myself then.” she swallowed audibly, greatly taken aback. “sorry, what?” “oh, don't you know how much people love losers like you? tsk tsk tsk, you're so much hotter than you realize, i mean it, els. look at you! you've got these piercings, this tattoo, you're smarter than this whole class combined, seriously.”
she just gaped at you, unable to process what she was hearing. no one had ever talked to her like this, it was only something she read about. and coming from you? this ethereal person who starred in all of her most intimate fantasies? she rubbed her eyes roughly, convinced she was hallucinating. her mouth opened and closed dumbly, her voice box failing to produce any sound. but you were affecting her so much, especially because she lusted after you to an extent she could only take to the grave.
flashes of her midnight escapades flickered in her mind, of her shoving her hand down her pants like an animal in heat, orgasming so intensely she'd black out, abusing her hole with nothing but images of you playing in her mind, and your name on her tongue. her cheeks burned with the embarrassment of her wild actions, and she shook her head to clear the thoughts away.
you groaned and leaned back in your own seat, exclaiming, “god i'm so bored. and pent up, fuck. it's been so long since i had sex…” that was true. in any other situation you'd never say something like that aloud, but because you were alone with the clueless idiot you wanted so carnally, you let it slip.
“...maybe you should take care of that.” you heard her cough out, her voice coming out strangled. “i could. but that's boring.” you opened your eyes again and smirked devilishly her way, poor girl looked like she was about to go on a trip with the ferryman.
you grabbed her hand, examining it some more, commenting, “you play guitar, don't you? guitarists are very good with their hands, i will say.” you played with her hand, pressing it into a fist, then extending her middle and ring finger. gosh, what's gotten into you? “i bet you're sooo good.”
you've never seen a person look more flustered than she did right now in this moment. her voice was impossibly quiet, barely above a whisper, “cut it out.” “okay, fine.”
some beats of silence passed, but a thought crossed your mind. if she really hated this interaction that much, she could have got up and left eons ago, yet she stayed here and endured it all. hmm. you blurted out, “els, have you kissed anyone before?”
and again she stayed silent, even after you waited patiently for an answer. she kept looking away, her jaw tense.
you decided to quit the teasing just for a moment, and speak to her gently, genuinely. you shifted to sit a little closer to her and asked, “do you want to?” her gaze locked onto your mouth, she licked her lips, then muttered, “if you're really offering and not just fucking with me, sure-”
your patience broke and you didn't wait for her to finish her sentence before swiftly leaning forward and connecting your lips with hers, relishing the tiny gasp she made as soon as you did it. she tasted like a dream.
after a split second she kissed you back, it was inexperienced and clumsy, fueled by adrenaline, but she got into a rhythm soon enough. you took the lead and deepened the kiss, absent-mindedly tugging on her bottom lip with your teeth, coaxing eager whimpers out of her, pure music to your ears.
you succumbed to the sensations and increased the pace, your tongue dancing against hers. you felt her hands fumble by your waist, and she pulled you closer to her. your hands clawed at her chest, the beautiful symphony of panting, the wet smacking of your lips colliding, and her uncontrolled moans filled the empty room.
she gripped your waist so tightly, fingertips surely leaving small marks in their wake, you couldn't wait to find them later, and you shamelessly felt up her chest, your thumbs finding her nipples—perky, hard, and poking out through her thin shirt. you caressed and rubbed and squeezed, feeling her jolt under your magical touch.
she was fully whining now. spilling needy, high-pitched sounds, this was better than you could've ever imagined. neither one of you breaking the kiss for even a second, your hand trailed lower and landed on her stomach, slipping under the bottom of her shirt. you felt her defined abs tensing, and the whisper of a happy trail—now it was your turn to moan.
she got even louder and her kisses got sloppier, and you were about to venture inside her waistband before a sudden sound startled you both.
your phone vibrated aggressively, and with great effort you separated yourself from ellie, long strings of spit connecting you to her still.
she whimpered from the loss of contact, chasing your lips, then huffing and quietly groaning while you took out your phone, her hands not letting go of your waist. when you checked it, it was a message from your friend, abby, just saying: URGENT. COME HERE NOW. ASAP.
fuck her. fuck her and her timing, was all you could think. really, now? you wanted to kill her.
trying to slow your breathing and racing heart, you explained apologetically, “ugh, it's urgent. im so, so sorry ellie, i gotta go.” she stared at you, speechless, but nodded meekly, reluctantly retracting her arms. you didn't want to leave, and stayed gazing at her for a little longer, and brushed a loose strand of soft hair out of her face. what a cutie, she looked all disheveled and dazed. you were about to look for a paper to scribble down your number to keep in touch, until your phone buzzed again, and started ringing with abby's repeated attempts to get ahold of you. couldn't she wait a minute?
you gave ellie one last devastated look, getting up and rushing out of the classroom before abby called you another seventeen times.
ellie was left in the classroom, reeling from the encounter and what it had turned into. she was utterly bewildered at the events that transpired, her blood rushing in her ears, mind spinning, lips still puffy, glasses fogged over, hands trembling, and of course a sticky, uncomfortable damp spot in her boxers. she leaned forward to rest her head on the desk in front of her on top of crossed arms, to take a moment to cool down before escaping back to her place.
“holy shit.”
im horny🧍♂️just like ellie after that. as soon as she got home, u best believe she came so hard she saw literal angels and deities LMFAOO (this is my favorite thing ive ever written gawdDAYUM)
yall who wanted more, hope this suffices as a continuation! @stonerzdaze420692 @womenlvrrr
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Hotch request! Please sir, can I have a Hotch request? I'm trying to follow what you said about comfort but also Hotch being angry. So I get low blood sugars cause of my diabetes and I'd love if you wrote something about them being on a case and BAU!Reader is really busy trying to get stuff done, so she has a bad low blood sugar and sits down but one of the local officers thinks she's slacking off so she tries to keep going and Hotch comes in and defends her, making sure she has everything she needs and doesn't faint. Love you <3
ty for requesting!! hope this is okay <3 fem, 1.3k
“I understand.” You frown, phone pressed to your ear hard. “I totally understand, but it’s really important that I get to talk to her.”
“She’s on heavy medication,” the nurse replies, unimpressed by your asking, “she wouldn’t be much use anyhow.”
“I understand, but–”
“Listen, I’m sorry, but we have a lot to do here. I’m sorry we can’t help. Bye.”
You groan in frustration, bringing your phone from your ear to see the Call Disconnected notification flash across your screen. How are you and the team ever supposed to get answers if nobody wants to help? Your head rushes. You kid yourself into believing it’s annoyance like a hot flash, you’ve been sweaty for ages, but then reality cuts through. What usually makes you sweaty and dizzy?
“Where’s my test kit?” you murmur to yourself.
The door opens while you’re looking through your bag.
“Agent,” Officer Debs greets, a stout, sturdy woman with sharp eyes, “any news from Georgetown Psychiatric?”
You rummage frustratedly through your things. You should know better than to misplace your test kit. Doesn’t matter. You’ll just have to eat something quickly before you get any worse. “Uh, no, nothing they could help me with.”
“Did you call them?”
Your eyelids are getting heavier. You sit down on impulse, worried you’re gonna fall if you stay standing. “Yeah, I called them.” You’ve had diabetes for long enough to know what to do, but it’s always harder than it felt the last time when your blood sugar drops. It can be so sudden.
Realising you might need help, you clear your throat, about to ask Officer Debs if she can get the glucose tablets from your bag. You should’ve grabbed them —your thoughts are starting to thicken like someone’s poured cornflour into your skull.
“Is now the best time for a break?” Officer Debs asks.
You focus very hard on bringing your attention into the present. “No, sorry,” you say, standing up. You open your phone and direct to the contacts page, clicking your favourite contact at the very top.
Don’t know m where test kit is, you text clumsily. Hotch should still be in the precinct. Do u have it ?
“I hope you’re texting someone about the case,” Officer Debs says sternly.
You shove your phone into your pocket. “Um,” you say, getting confused now, and not wanting to be shouted at. You grab for the page of phone numbers you’d been making your way through, can’t get your hands to work. “I wasn’t. But I’m getting to it.”
“We really don’t have time to waste.”
“I know, but my blood sugar–”
She talks over you. “What’s the point in all our officers working day and night when you FBI agents can’t be bothered to put in the same effort?” Her voice rises. “It’s ridiculous!”
“It’s not ridiculous, we’re trying our best just like you are.”
“Clearly not!”
“My blood sugar,” you say, more insistently. “Stop shouting at me.”
The door opens quickly, creaking hard on its hinge. Hotch doesn’t slam it open, he never slams anything, but he doesn’t hesitate either. “I have it, you left it in the car after you tested this morning,” he says, your kit in his hand. He gives Officer Debs a surprised up and down. “Who’s shouting?” he asks, unimpressed.
You wouldn’t like to be on his bad side. “Hotch, I need a tablet.”
If he’s shocked at your lethargy, he doesn’t say. He ignores the officer from that point on. “Yes, I think so, too.”
Hotch is more efficient than you were, grabbing your tube of glucose tablets and shaking one out into his hand. “Can you take it yourself?”
“You want to chew it for me?” you ask.
He tips it into your palm. “Very funny.”
He opens the test kit on the desk and starts to extract the pieces. It’s quite complicated, especially for people unfamiliar with it, but you’re pretty sure Hotch learned how to use it the day he knew you had diabetes. He wipes his hands with an alcohol wipe and presses a test strip into the meter, careful not to touch the end, before wiping your finger with a new wipe, and readying the lancing stick.
“Gonna stick you, okay?” he asks quietly.
“Mm,” you hum, the glucose tablet like chalk between your teeth.
He sticks you. Some days it feels more painful than other days, but today it’s like a pinprick in a haze. He squeezes your finger, wipes the first drop of blood with a cotton ball, and dips the test strip into the second bead of blood, careful not to jab your cut.
In the five seconds it takes for you to get a result on the meter, he kneels down, pressing another cotton ball to your finger to stem the flow of blood. “Good,” he murmurs to you. The meter flashes on the table. “Not so good. Fifty nine, huh? How’d that happen?”
You shake your head slowly from one side to another. “I’ve no idea.”
“Okay. Well, that tablet’s not gonna do it, honey. Do you have any gels?”
“No,” you say apologetically.
“That’s fine. I’ll get you a drink.”
Officer Debs clears her throat. You may be foggy, but her awkwardness is palpable. “I’ll get it.”
“It has to be full sugar. Coke, if you can,” Hotch says. She nods in understanding and leaves in record time. Hotch turns back to you, his severity melting away. “She was shouting at you?”
“Tried to tell her about my blood sugar. She told me we’re not here to waste time.” You close your mouth, licking the glucose off of your teeth.
“How did you get so low?” he asks.
“Must have done something wrong this morning. Am I okay?”
“We’ll see. I think you’ll be alright.”
“Don’t usually get so dizzy.”
“When was the last time you were below seventy?”
“Don’t know,” you mumble.
Hotch peels the cotton ball from your finger and packs your things away cleanly. “Let’s see how you feel in ten minutes. After your coke. Now… what did the Officer say to you?”
He’s getting his facts straight. Again, you wouldn’t like to be on his bad side. You relay your conversation, Officer Debs hadn’t even been that bad, just uppity, stuck on her own assumptions rather than willing to listen when you’d needed a hand. Her lack of empathy could’ve really affected you. Low blood sugar is no joke.
You tell him, savouring in the warmth of his hand on your leg, how uncaring he is to be kneeling in front of you on the precinct floor. He frowns at you long and hard.
By the time Officer Debs returns, he’s on his feet again. “A word?” he asks her.
You don’t hear all of what he’s saying through the door as you sip your coke. He doesn’t shout, but he defends you with a heavy gravity. Officer Debs speaks up and he cuts her down, something about understanding, and then a more clear telling off, “I don’t want to hear about Agent L/N’s performance from you again. She’s my agent, and if she needs a break, she’ll take one. It’s none of your concern.”
“I understand.”
You feel much peppier when he comes back in, though he appears less so. “You’re nasty,” you say, smiling, happy to be defended, and happier to know you’re not gonna pass out.
He crosses the room. Still frowning, he takes your face into his hands, and he leans down inch by inch, until he’s pressing a soft, soft kiss to your lips. You barely have time to close your eyes before he’s pulling away, thumb pressed into your soft cheek. “Nobody gets to shout at you. Especially over your blood sugar.”
“It’s usually you telling me off for letting it get low,” you mumble.
He stands up straight, leaving you wanting for another kiss you won’t get, hands stolen back from your cheeks. “You’re ageing me prematurely. Drink some more coke, please, sweetheart.”
“What do I get in return?”
He touches your face briefly, as much of a promise as you’re going to get.
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