#we know this we sometimes love this
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do u think we can hear a little bit of the kyle cant say i love u ask?
ugh, yes </3
so...fair warning, idk what this is. also...
why is it written in present tense? idk. anyways!
i started ~writing~ something ( bad ) that i was going to maybe slap to the end of the ask, which is not proofread or finished, but basically context is that it's the #ravesey divorce fight, the climax of it...
...where stan starts packing a bag and for one of the first times in his pleated, completed, type-a, show no mercy, no nonsense, new jersey slaughterhouse life, kyle broflovski...is paralyzed with fear.
because kyle who always has his shit together is completely losing it.
everything.
his everything.
his stan.
again.
and he's ripped at the seams, dissolving right before our very eyes: his perfect auburn tresses which usually cascade and glide effortlessly down his lithe shoulders, are fucked up, frizzy and falling all over his face which is pale, creased and gaunt...
â like he's seen a ghost.
his pupils are blown to high heaven and shot to all hell. dilated like two green distress signals. once fierce now frightened, floundering.
his special stan glasses are crooked and fogging up from how hard and uneven his breathing is with the chain nearly suffocating him from how rough and imprecise his startled, frenzied movements are.
he's shaking his head in horror, in shock, in grief, in utter disbelief. really, his whole fucking body is shaking like an addict going through withdrawals, but this is a million times worse than watching someone flush a pack of cigarettes down the toilet. it stings. it burns. it lingers.
in a way that stan won't.
but kyle needs him to, needs him to stay, needs him close, needs him forever, so he's talking fast, way, way, Way too fast, like if he can say enough other words, i love you will seem far less grand and lustrous...
but they're not.
whilist time passes achingly slow. and kyle's given hundreds of speeches, debates and lectures, but words fail him, his lips quiver, his mouth opens and closes helplessly and that booming voice is barely a whisper when he finally musters up the dis-courage to mumur;
"...b-baby? baby! whereâwhere are you going?! w-where are YOââ
kyle darts forward and reaches for his boyfriend before he turns into a memory again, not sure where he was aiming. to please, to squeeze, to stroke his tear-slicked cheek, maybe? to dust the tips of the his trembling, unworthy fingers cross that little spot of sun just beneath his right eye. the gentle curve of his jaw, far less violent than his, orâor even just on the side of his arm where love is written in spanish. amor. like tracing the letters onto his skin would be good enough.
but it never was.
he never was.
and as proof of his inadequacy, stan sails to the left and ducks right under kyle's arm, which collides with the quilted down of their couch.
âŚtheir couch.
how long would their couch be their couch? kyle thought that their couch would always be their couch! kyle thought thatâ
"out."
it was a single syllable, uttered in the same bratty voice harnessed by misbehaved teenage boys everywhere, but it was different coming from stan, whose mouth was not made to start fights or draw blood. it was a horrible, harsh sound, wrought with an undercurrent of sadness.
it was then that the realization dawns on him.
stan wasn't angry with him.
stan was disappointed in him.
which was far, far worse.
kyle wants to look strong, look stable, look sturdy, so stan would look at him â god, he would do anything for stan to just look at him! and stop packing that stupid fucking bag, that dumb black jansport backpack they'd bought back to school shopping because...his stan was going back to school. and kyle was so...so proud of him.
but gerald never was, gerald was loud, so kyle was loud, so when he should have congratulated stan for doing something difficult, he criticized him for not doing something easy! like the dishes and told stan he'd stitched his name into the bag...just in case he lost it.
funny how things happen.
âŚnot funny.
not funny at all, actually!
so thenâŚwhy was he laughing?
why the Fuck was he laugâ
"out? Out? O-OUTSIDE?! stan, youâya can't be serious?! you're in a little t-shirt andâand shorts, you'll freeze to death! you'llââ
kyle clings to the thin fabric of stan's tee-shirt, admiring the myriad of sauce stains and makeup marks that, on a normal night, kyle might be livid about, but tonight...they're lovely; they're so, so lovely.
just like the boy who made them.
the boy kyle loves.
not rockstar raven of crimson dawn.
but sweet, sensitive stanley marsh.
his stan.
his...
kyle's eyes fall absentmindedly to the tattered hem of stan's shorts, where amidst a jagged, serrated sea of angry self mutilizations past, was a new beginning...the beginning of a word, a sound, a letter...a
K.
a k...for kyle.
stan had gotten it done last anti-valentine's day, as a gift, for him, but mostly...for himself. because stan cruelly hated himself, every part of his body, but he hated that part the most. his inner thighs, the valley that stretched between them...so he'd gotten kyle's name tattooed down there, so that when he was off on tour and missed his boyfriend terribly...he was with him.
always.
so that on his very worst days, when he felt the worst about himself, he could still see his super best friend. a precious skin-deep reminder that when the dysphoria hit and he felt like shit, craved a stiff drink and the razor blade winkedâŚthat when he felt falsely ugly...
...someone thought he was truly beautiful.
and he was.
he was really...and truly beautiful.
everyday. every second. even now. especially now. and god, what kyle wouldn't do to place his lips in that spot right there, anywhere, everywhere! because kyle couldn't say i love you and they weren't married, no, not in the traditional sense, but even so, kyle went to temple, a place of sacred worship & recited his vows every night.
every stroke, every sigh, every stretch of blessed skin.
i love you.
i love you.
i loveâ
"because you're so Worried about me, right, kyle?"
stan sneers, holding his name like a knife between teeth.
"âbecause you 'LOVE' me, right?"
he spit and twist it.
it was twisted. and kyle feels those spiteful syllables split him open like shrapnel. he gasps like stan had shot him, grasping the hem of his shirt so hard that it hurt, like a little kid clinging to his mother's skirt.
so scared she would leave.
so scared she would go, begging
don't go.
please don't go.
please, please, please don't gâ
"NO! iâi do! stan, i do!â
kyle tries to argue but nearly breaks his neck nodding, with his shrill voice weak and watery and wanting.
âbabyâBABY! i do, i DO! i really do! iâI LOââ
but the words wouldn't come.
kyle was banging on the wall, iron clad and impenetrable, he fought and shouted, kicked and screamed and still...nothing would come.
he couldn't say it. he couldn't FUCKING say it!
why...why?
Why?
WHY?!
he had never wanted to cry before but he could feel it in the back of his throat. he wants to come out. the little boy he'd trapped back there. but he couldn't be that big again, that small...that pathetic. so he bites down HARD. harder than he'd even bitten before and thrashes his cheek with his teeth, the taste of blood filling his mouth.
and for a moment...he feels dizzy...
because the blood tastes like metal.
like stan.
just like staâ
"save it, mi sabelotodo."
stan sniffs and lifts his head up slowly. his damp bangs are stuck to his forehead, the tips just barely kissed with bleach, mere whispers of the boy they wanted him, those beautiful dark roots growing with him into the man he wanted to be. whose wonderful face was flushed with frustration, whose kind, bright blue eyes were...
god, all kyle had wanted was for stan to look at him. but it gores him; it guts him. it carves him; it cuts him.
it was wrong. it was all wrong!
he took it back. he took it all back!
take me back, baby.
he wants to plead, while his lip shakes and bleeds.
stanley, PLEASE take me baâ
then, in one foul swoop, the boy with the bag shrugs his shoulders and kyle's hand crumples back down onto the couch. broken. lifeless.
"âsave it for someone you ACTUALLY love."
#anyways hope i die#actually tho bc this was so poorly written oh my god#i am in pain i am sorry i wanted this to be not bad#i'll proof it and fix it later smh#BUT I WANTED YALL TO HAVE IT#ANYWAYS I HATE MY LIFE SO BAD I HATE IT HERE#also stans spicy lil inner thigh kyle tattoo is important to me#hot boy self care behavior#WHICH EVEN IF IT WASNT#THATS OKAY BC KYLE TAKES REALLY GOOD CARE OF HIM AND LOVES HIM SO MUCH EVEN THO HE CANT SAY IT#MAAAAAAAAN#WERE IN HELL#ANYWAYS#jerseys perspective makes me wanna kword myself so bad like hes so desperate and loving and sad and i LOVE HIM#BABY ITS GONNA BE OKAY :((((#mi sabelotodo WAS VIIIIIIIIOLENT#LIKE OH MY GOOOOOOOD#i fixed it so the tenses are right now#im so bad at that idk why i did present tense im insane sorry#we know this we sometimes love this#I HAD SO MUCH FUN WRITING THIS I LOVE ANGST#I LOVE WRITING AAA IM SMILING IM SO HAPPY#LIKE IM SAD BUT IM HAPPY IM WRITING EEEE
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*yelling coming from the living room.*
Leo: Percy! Come here Percy! See what I mean!
Percy: No, I donât see what you mean!
Annabeth: *stopping in the doorway where Piper and Nico are leaning against the doorframe eating popcorn. * Whatâs going on?
Piper: Theyâre fighting over whose name would make a better dogs name.
Annabeth: Theyâre what?
Percy: Leo is a much better name for a dog!
Leo: Sit, Percy.
Percy: Iâm right.
Leo: Percy, drop it!
Percy: Iâm going to hit you.
Leo: Staaaay! Percy, stay! See itâs a great name for a dog.
Percy: *chucking something across the room at Leo*
Nico: *from the doorway* Fetch Leo! Fetch!
Percy: Ah ha!
Nico: Percyâs right. Leo does work better.
Percy: Boom! Nico has spoken.
Leo: What about Nico for a dogs name.
Nico: No.
Percy: Nicoâs a catâs name.
Annabeth: Cat.
Piper: So a cat.
Nico: Suck it Valdez.
Frank: *entering the room* Whatâs going on?
Leo: What about Frank!
Frank: What?
Everyone: Come here, Frank! Good boy, Frank. Whoâs a good dog! Good job, Frank.
Frank: Iâm scared.
#pjo#Percy Jackson#leo valdez#piper mclean#Annabeth Chase#frank zhang#nico di angelo#I donât know what this is#but here you go#chaotic demigods be chaotic sometimes#and we love them for it
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Happy Thistle Debut Day!
#dungeon meshi#Thistle#Old dungeon meshi fans remember the days when it was ambiguous what gender Thistle was.#Now we know Thistle uses he/him pronouns but in my heart Thistle is still non-binary. Clowngender elf with poor coping skills.#I hope the anime-only watchers know that this is a character to keep an eye on.#Love (in it's many forms) and desire (in it's many forms) is the main course of Dungeon Meshi and THIS silly jester?#My goodness. What a perfect encapsulation of how one can hurt other's so deeply in the name of love.#The actions we take to 'protect' other's is often the route to doing the most harm.#Love is letting go. Sometimes that means control and sometimes that means saying farewell forever to someone.
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Charles Leclerc in Top Gun Canal+ Supersonique
#charles leclerc#charlesleclercedit#f1edit#*bangs pots and pans* he's soooooooo top gun au coded#he has a raging crush on his instructor - a highly decorated seasoned pilot who graduated top of the program himself#charles believes seb's still every bit the pilot he was in his prime despite the whispers that he lost his edge after an ill-fated mission#anytime one of the cadets disrespects seb charles turns feral it's true it's true#ofc seb's also immediately taken with charles - something something honey youre familiar like my mirror years ago#but he has hang ups about starting a relationship with him because ~professionalism. max probably accuses him of favoring charles as is#still they clash sometimes bc seb thinks charles is being too reckless; too impatient & impulsive. but the love is there. we all know this#and ofc the top gun au wouldn't be complete without a charles & max rivalry subplot#cl supersonique docu#*#*mine: gif
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pick your battles
#my art#my stuff#art#comic#original art#pride 2024#pride month#trans allegory..... or not even allegory. just trans .... ^_^#i technically cannot come out yet but i don't think the people who i need to not see this stalk my tumblr#i know they stalk everything else like my twitter and my instagram but this might be safe#so fuck it we yap. this is a comic about picking your battles#this is a comic about how for almost a year now everyone at home in singapore has been crying about my sore throat#my terrible fucked up voice. my you know. etc#i came out as not cis and using they/them pronouns in 2015 when i was 14#but no one ever used my pronouns. none of my classmates or friends even up until i left for college in 2020#from 2020 onwards every year i wrote an angry vulnreable essay about how much it hurts that they dont remember#and people would dm me apologizing on their hands and knees and commending my bravery#and then forget about it all over again. id ont mean 'they misgender me and then catch it and apologize and correct themselves'#i mean they dont even get that far#and so you might ask yourself: why have you kept them around all this time?#and i would have to explain that by pure bad luck i grew up in the most conservative close minded community#that all of my ex classmates that stayed in singapore are cishet and upper middle class and chinese singaporean#that i Am the trans person. that they were able to ignore me for a decade partially because there was no one else#so this is a comic about how there is dignity and grace in staying in the closet sometimes#about how not everyone deserves to see you at your happiest. about how some people can go fuck themselves#you know your truth and THATS THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS!!! YEAH!!! i love you
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Deep down youâre a gigantic, sappy, embarrassing romantic who just wants the happily ever after.
#rwrb#rwrbedit#red white and royal blue#firstprince#userninz#chrissiewatts#userveronika#userlang#userclara#usermegsb#firstprinced#tusermira#mine*#we forget about this sometimes#henry is just a romantic at heart!!!!!!!!!!#and he will give all that love x10000#you're gonna get that happily ever after#the 'write the history of my life' line is so so romantic god it gets me every time#he Knows people will be writing about him. because duh#but thats what hes read about in all the queer history!! they try to hide it all#and he now refuses to let anyone hide who HE is and who he loves
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Hazakura Temple, February
#what if we walked side by side silently through the snow to reach the man we've both been in love with for years#and who is the only one we trust who can make the ghosts following us disappear#but we both know neither of us deserves a happy ending#so we keep quiet because words would only hurt us more#dounart#ace attorney#aa#ace attorney fanart#miles edgeworth#miles edgeworth fanart#iris hawthorne#gyakuten saiban#narumitsu#kinda#art#fanart#sometimes i remember how we have no idea what they talked about during this several hours walk and i go insane all over again#help girl a random moment drowned in a way bigger narrative is killing me by its potential for deeper metaphorical meaning
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I really feel like one of the best details in âA Scandal in Bohemiaâ that I never see people fixate on enough is that the story starts with Watson stopping in to see Holmes at Baker Street on a complete whim, because he happens to see that heâs home (and Watson is now married and living elsewhere). Like he doesnât send word first, heâs not invited, he just shows up and surprises Holmes. Which is not that weird but then Holmes is like âoh good, Iâve got a case anyway, you might as well hang out!â which just makes it funnier when the King shows up and is like âIâd really rather speak to you alone, actuallyâ and Watson tries to leave and Holmes is just like âanything you can say to me, you can say to my best friend John Watson, and if you ask him to leave, I would consider it a grave insult, you would be my enemy and I will not help you ever!!â And the king is like ââŚokâ and just moves on.
like, that is crazy behavior. Holmes is talking about how thereâs probably lots of money in this case, and then almost turns away the client forâŚnot knowing who the fuck Watson is?? Heâs not even supposed to be there?? He just came to say hi?? âIt is both or noneâ⌠girl, GET UP.
#I get it though#sometimes your bestie gets married and you donât talk to him for weeks?? months??#because youâre normal about him and also have pretty serious adhd#so you forget that communication even exists on top of being very sad and lonely and burying it with work#and then he shows up at random and the object permanence kicks in again and you force him to help#with your latest case because otherwise who knows how long it will be until you get to hang out again#and you know youâll need someone to throw a smoke bomb through a ladyâs window AT SOME POINT#PROBABLY#you canât commit minor crimes by yourself thatâs boring!!#and Watson loves your dumb disguises! heâs always said so!#I know we get distracted by the Irene Norton nĂŠe Adler of it all#but Holmes is incredibly rare (gay) form in this story#a scandal in bohemia#sherlock holmes#acd canon#acd holmes#acd watson#john watson#itâs giving âthis is my friend Madison and she drOVE ME HERE!!â#you 𫵠yes you! suffer my holmesposting
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Happy tdov to fat trans people. đłď¸ââ§ď¸ Biggest thing that helped me as a trans kid was seeing older fat trans people. There were a lot of really irritating "advice" posts going around early in my time on the internet with a lot of misinformation in them, but one that I constantly saw (in addition to people claiming you should wear your pants rediculously low or only wear button ups) were posts saying you had to lose weight to transition. Can confidently confirm that is completely untrue. đ
#seal.txt#tdov#that 'sky and mike' image of the two old trans dudes hugging was one that I had saved to my phone as a trans teen#and i would look at it sometimes and just wonder how they had made it#idk its just nice knowing we live that long and its not a requirement to be skinnyin order to be respected and loved and get old#some of the old 'advice' posts i saw were really completely bizarre and a lot of them stick with me to this day in insecurities#this would have been 2016 ish tumblr so i know not that long ago but i would have been around 13 for reference#weird that i remember so many of the things i read back then. i could probably fill a post with things i was misinformed on due to Tumblr#specifically tumblrs run by people that i didnt really have the knowledge or awareness to understand probably didnt have my best interests#like 'trans rights ' blogs i would follow and not notice until much later were quite the opposite#this is the consequence of viewing social media before i knew all the secret codewords and my brain was much less developed than it is now
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Regarding the Cherry Wine Incident.
#atla#avatar the last airbender#zuko#atla fanart#prince zuko#katara#atla art#sokka art#sokka fanart#tales from the couch#hozier#cherry wine#atla modern au#the gaang#atla zuko#zuko art#zuko fanart#atla sokka#sokka of the water tribe#princess yue#Yue is an AURORA and Paris Paloma girl. Sokka most definitely isn't. Hence the âweird coven musicâ comment. Please don't lynch my boy#(I can do that myself)#Zuko may play into the punk/alternative emo aesthetic sometimes but he is most definitely a Literature and Lyrics⢠guy.#So of course *gestures wildly* Hozier.#(Zuko's âyour sister?â comment is because Katara also fits Sokka's description. Florence + The Machine will do that to you.)#But I digress#Sokkaâmay La protect his soulâisn't really...lyrically inclined; shall we say. He just knows what kind of music Yue likes and goes:#âSlow music cottagecore vibes and lots of poetryâhey! She'll absolutely love this!!!â#Which is funny because he actually DOES like poetry. He just doesn't have a musical ear.#That being saidâdon't go around proposing to people with that song; kiddos. It's about domestic abuse.
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jenniferrrrr the strugglerrr
(like right before he faked his deathhh ouu superhero spiralling into insanity & darkness from years of stress and anguish..) its kindof funny like he was like damn ok my superhero friends think im dead now & im registered now as a brand new supervillain. Mission Accomplished. umm what now.. (SURPRISE! YOU'RE TRANSGENDER! BITCH!)
#ilike my ocs an their story that meand mywife made up#lalalaaa its my favorite showww#lalalaaa#horrible burnout day BUT we get 2 talk about gay freaks online at end of day... win...#btw idont know if isaid this here but even tho ill use she/her w jennifer sometimes its mainly for like in the pasttt like the Sonar era et#but thats still jett like. still his NAME his names jennifer he still likes it & kept it ok#so he doesnt use he/she its just he/him but only she/her when i specifically pick out when to say it đyes because no and when yes was go#whateverr it my touys im trans i pick da rules#i love ocs i love playing touys#im playingg#grips the table my knuckles go white#god i needed playing#after today#god please#drawing#digital art#art#oc#illustration#my art#supernormal#original character#supervillain oc#murph an joanies supernormal
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[Day 182]
Grian mentions Hollow Knight on phasmo stream and gave it a 10/10 the crowd goes wild HOLLOW KNIGHT AU LETSGOOOOOOOOOOO
Inspired from this!
#dddaily4sherin#grian#pearlescentmoon#goodtimeswithscar#isdoodles#i love pearl hornet sm SHES SO#I still dont know the full lore tho btw im watching the gameplay as we speak o7#(wanted to try beating it myself but immediately caved after tdy LOL)#HOLLOW KNIGHT YEAHHHHHHH#BUGS!!!!!!!!!!!#also yeah sorry i lied abt day 181 BSADHhhd IT WILL BE FINISHED SOMETIME PROMISE!! :)#hermit knight au#EDIT BARGES IN THE DOOR WE ARE CALLING THIS AU HERMIT KNIGHT#SHOUT OUT TO THAT ONE PERSON IN THE TAGS ON THIS POST!!!!
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I finally broke through my art block! Sort of! This took forever to finish and Iâm still not 100 percent satisfied with it, but I have to stop poking at it so here we are. Hope yâall like this silly thing.
#look sometimes you need fanfic tropes to break through art block#also i love this trope#why did I decide to draw newtâs back that we have no reference for?#the world may never know#hermann gottlieb#newton geiszler#newmann#pacific rim#gah-art
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Good morning, Sleepyhead.
[First] Prev <â-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#'WWX was asleep for 4 days' is an incorrect factoid.#The average WWX sleeps for 8 hours. The PD-MDZS WWX who was asleep for 40 comics and 4 months is an outlier.#We are back to present day! I have missed drawing them!#Ah...the contrast between how the flashback ended (cold and distrustful) to how wwx wakes up (warm and watched over)...#The gap between the past and present is very important. Not just in this story but in our lives too.#The past can still hurt and it doesn't just go away with time as some say. It is the power of realizing that things have changed.#We can't get the good back. The bad memories have concluded. Those live somewhere else now.#It is hard to realize that you have to live for today and tomorrow. The past is so loud.#For WWX it is realizing that despite the mistrust in the past - He really does have faith that LWJ will be there for him.#It is the reflection of knowing that you changed and will keep changing and that change is good and kind sometimes.#But more importantly...and this I really do mean with all my heart:#It will all end up okay in the end. Even after the worst day. The most painful losses. You will get through it.#What feels like a breaking point is truthfully just another step you have to take. You'll get through it even though it feels like the end.#There are wonderful things you have yet to see. Friends you have yet to meet.#Even if it hurts so badly...one day it just aches. Someday you'll go a few weeks not remembering that it ever hurt.#Oh and because my izutsumi comic revealed many people were in need of hearing this:#You are loved. Right now. You are so loved right now. We just forget to tell each other that.#Go tell the people you love that they matter to you. I'm assigning you homework!!! You are graded on completion.
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âThe battle has only just begun.â
KATO SHIHO as AYAKA and MORI KANNA as HIROKO episode 7 of AYAKA IS IN LOVE WITH HIROKO
#ayaka is in love with hiroko#ayaka chan wa hiroko senpai ni koishiteru#japanese gl#wlw#kato shiho#mori kanna#彊éŚăĄăăăŻĺźĺĺ
蟊ăŤćăăŚă#jp: ayaka is in love with hiroko!#someone once wrote in the tags of one of my aiilwh gifsets that it was nice to see women physically attracted to other women in gls#bc sometimes they go only towards the we are best friends who kiss route instead of showing desire between them#the way hiroko is very much attracted to ayaka and ayaka knows her weapons so well#good for them#(we pretend nothing happened in the end)#bibi gifs
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I really do think a lot on Edwinâs very serious declaration of never letting the two of them get separated after Charles shows concern about it in episode 1, and itâs abundantly clear that heâs just as protective of Charles as Charles is of him. However, due to the kinds of situations they ended up in during season 1, Edwin fell a lot more into the role of the one who needed protecting, which is why I really badly want to see Edwin have a moment in season 2 where he protects Charles or saves them from being separated again, through clever words maybe, or his spell books.
I just desperately want some kind of follow through on the ferventness of his âI will never let that happenâ because with the conviction of that line, god I believe it, but do I ever really want to see it too
#Charles looks a little vulnerable in that scene too. younger than usual even.#I think heâd be so touched if Edwin went full protective over him#like he knows Edwin loves him. but I think itâd impact him a lot to see that expressed through his own means of showing love#Charles still has such a hard time believing heâs good and I basically just hope that s2 throws all the love at him#charles: âIâm still worried about my anger and whether Iâm a good person sometimes. arenât you?â#edwin and crystal: ânope bc we already know youâre a good person. get loved idiotâ#charles: âoh ok :â) â#storyrambles#dead boy detectives#edwin payne#charles rowland
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